Scar Tissue

“Scar Tissue”

I graduated Wednesday. At the end of my session with my grief counsellor, we decided I don’t need to go back unless I feel the need. The goal of any therapy should be the time when you don’t need it.

When I first started this journey, the pain was bad…really bad. Then I went through a strong denial phase. I didn’t deny Mr. Virgo’s death. I denied my pain because I was afraid if I tried to take it in all at once, I would break open and pieces of me would fall away. So, I traveled…I spent too much money…I attached myself in ways I was not prepared for. Then one day, quite literally, the fog lifted and I was able to see everything clearly. The finality of it all hit me like a ton of bricks. I was numb for months then the anesthesia wore off. The pain was far worse than it was initially. And, I had a choice. I could stand there and watch the pieces fall off of me or, I could get out my sewing kit and start piecing myself a quilt from the scraps I had left.

A quilt. That’s what we are. We start out fresh from the bolt. Pristine. Crisp. Life wears on us, we tear, we wrinkle, we get ripped and cut…sometimes in the tiniest pieces. And, if we apply ourselves…if we are diligent and careful…we can put ourselves back together into something far more complex than we were in the beginning. Strong. Warm. Beautiful.

Choose your thread wisely. Anything but the best will wear out after a few washes.