Another Day in Paradise
I don’t know what else to say…yesterday was another perfect day. It was a little hot. Well, ok…it was a LOT hot. The heat index at 10:30 this morning was 108 degrees! I did what I do every morning…I sat on the front deck with my coffee…reading and writing then came in when it got too warm. I actually started reading a novel yesterday. I haven’t read a book for entertainment for a long, long time. I couldn’t concentrate enough to read after I lost Mr. Virgo. Then I couldn’t read because I didn’t want to taint my writing. Someone gave me a copy of The Girl on the Train by Paula Hawkins so I stuck it in one of my bags and brought it with me…just in case. It feels good to let my mind get lost in someone else’s words for a change.
Once the pool became shaded by the building as the sun started to the west, I went out and swam and sat by the pool and read. I went on several walks along the beach yesterday and actually baked chicken and rice for dinner with a salad. Cooking is another thing I never did for myself in those early months and years of widowhood. Life is taking on tinges of normalcy…like a painting when it gets to the point you can tell what it is. I feel whole again…as whole as I can possibly feel, I think.
I’m different now. Different in many ways. Good ways. Healthy ways. My moods are much more predictable…much less erratic. I don’t feel a frantic urgency to move and go and change locations in order to outrun my loss. I meet it head on. I relish my memories more than I fear my pain now and that is a pretty comfortable place to be. I’m happy. I never dreamed four years ago that I would ever feel happy again. But, here it is…greeting me every morning. Seeing me off to dream every night. I am so grateful for these moments.
I’m really looking forward to seeing my Colorado family in a few weeks. I miss them terribly! The girls are growing way too fast! These next three months will be filled with more travels. I have another week here then off to Tennessee for a couple of days then back to the farm for a couple of weeks before I head west. Thanks for traveling along with me…it’s really nice knowing you all are here! ❤️
“I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers.” Ephesians 1:16 NIV