Change
One of the hardest things to deal with since losing Mr. Virgo is…change. And of course, that is the one thing you can absolutely count on in this life. Change. Things change. People change. Situations change. And, unfortunately…places change.
I have to tell you, sometimes you have no way of knowing what God has up His sleeve when He leads you down a certain path. Why this way and not that? Sometimes we never figure it out. Other times, it becomes crystal clear. I love those times. Even when they break my heart.
When I first came to West Virginia, it was just a year and a half after losing Mr. Virgo. I lived on the family farm but only for a few weeks. When my aunt decided she really didn’t want help, I went off on my own for a couple years. I never dreamed I’d have the opportunity to come back and be the caretaker of the home of my heart. When my uncle asked me to take care of the place for him, I jumped at the chance.
I know God has a reason behind every move. There was a plan before I was born. I hadn’t really thought about why I got to live at the farm again. Until yesterday. Mr. FixIt and I have noticed a lot of heavy dump trucks going up the road lately. We heard this summer that they’re putting in a compressor station back beyond the farm so we surmised the work had begun. When we got there yesterday, I drove past the farm and went up the back road. It wasn’t long till we saw the signs. “Road Work Ahead” and “Flagger: Prepare to Stop”.
It’s funny. You hear change is coming. You see what other places look like when they change. Yet, you’re completely unprepared when the change comes and it affects your world. I’m a go-with-the-flow kinda gal, but when I saw them cutting into MY earth, MY world, my HEART…it crushed me. I motioned for the flagger to come over. I asked for details. “What are they doing there?” “How far back are they going?” “How long will this take?” He was a young man. Respectful. He seemed to understand this was hurtful to me. He explained carefully what steps they were taking. I sat and stared till the tears stung my eyes then I had to go.
I remember when they clear cut the back of the farm. I felt like this. But, trees grow back. This is a permanent scar that will never heal. As I sat and watched the big dump trucks back out the ridge to be filled with MY earth, the Holy Spirit whispered to my heart.
“This is why you were given this time on the farm. You are here to memorize every inch of the place. You are here to document the passage. You are here to be a witness.”
Change is inevitable. I know that. I’m doing better with change. I don’t like it. And I especially don’t like them messing with the home of my heart. But, I’m also a realist. I’m pragmatic. There is now going to be a paved road out to the back of this ridge. There will be easier access to the workable land and that will improve the value of the farm. That’s the upside. There’s going to be a lot of sound pollution, increased traffic, as well as some environmental risks. That’s the downside.
I’ve always known my time on the farm is limited. I’ll still be taking care of it for the foreseeable future. And I’ll be saying goodbye to what it once was…one truckload of dirt at a time. ❤️
“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:” Ecclesiastes 3:1 ESV