No Apologies
“It’s ok to unplug.”
What happens when you have to “dig in and go dark?” When you have the diagnosis, you’ve gone through the years of treatments, nothing else is working, so your spouse makes the decision you have dreaded from the beginning…no more? That was the question posed to me. It’s different for everyone and I don’t know for sure…I haven’t suffered this particular hell. But, my answer was this. Do what you need to do and don’t apologize for it.
Facebook has become a simplified way to let more distant family and friends know what’s going on during illness and the dying process. It tends to keep people from having to write the same story over and over. I suggested being honest. Tell them where you are in the decision process, explain you’re entering new territory with many unknowns that you’ll be learning to deal with as you go, and now…while you love each and every one and you covet their prayers…you have to unplug. Designate someone to let the closest people know what’s going on if you can’t do it.
You don’t owe the world an explanation. I understand there will be those who feel left out or put out, but your time is best spent in communion with your loved one. You will have many demands on your time. Trying to update everyone on social media shouldn’t be one of them if it overwhelms you. From the other side of the coin, understand there’s a lot going on in a family whose loved one is dying and as much as you would like to know what’s going on, giving a family space and your prayers are the two best things you can do if you aren’t in the “inner circle.“
Many of you have shared your experiences of going through this kind of loss. What kind of advice would you give to someone heading into the last part of the process? What helped you the most? What did you really need from people? How did you handle communications?
Remember, when you’ve gone through loss and you’re functioning better and moving forward, don’t forget to turn back around and offer your hand to those coming up behind you on the same journey. Insight…it is one of the gems in the flame. ❤
“…a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;” Ecclesiastes 3:7 ESV