Finding a Friend
“I met one of my readers last night for dinner when she came through town! So nice to meet you, Jo!”
I often receive private messages from readers with comments, suggestions, questions, and sometimes seeking a little extra love and support if they are going through something particularly tough. This was the case when I heard from Jo. Her husband had been recently diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Like me, she knew she needed to put something joyful in front of her to get through what she knew was coming. She was experiencing anticipatory grief.
Jo was intrigued by my camping escapades and how I used my little camper travels to help me navigate grief. She joined Sisters on the Fly and borrowed a Class C RV from a friend. While her husband was still well enough to go, she took him camping. They enjoyed that trip, but her husband made her promise not to buy that particular RV. It was older, and he knew repairs would be coming soon. He didn’t want her getting stranded somewhere or to be saddled with extra expenses so she promised.
We talked about getting together in the spring, then spring turned to summer and Jo’s husband continued to worsen. Then, after 45 years of marriage and countless sessions of chemo and radiation, her sweet husband passed peacefully, November 17th, surrounded by his loving family at home. A wake was held in Virginia last weekend and Jo made arrangements to have a second wake in Indiana with her eight siblings and their families this coming weekend.
While she could have flown to Indiana, Jo decided to drive, much to the dismay of her family. Not a week as a widow and she was already being told “You’re too old!” “You can’t do that alone!” Luckily, this tiny woman with the spiky white hair is feisty and put the kibosh on that. She informed them that, not only was she going to drive to Indiana…alone…she was going to start looking for an RV. They were aghast! She had another reason for wanting to drive. She knew she would be traveling through West Virginia and she wanted to meet me.
Jo contacted me early this week and told me she would be heading through my area Wednesday and she wanted to take me to dinner. I jumped at the chance. We met at Texas Roadhouse and talked for FOUR hours! We talked with the ease you feel when you have a lot in common with someone. We told stories, asked questions, and laughed the evening away. One particular story tugged at my heart strings and made tears sting my eyes.
When her husband was so ill, Jo’s friends and family kept asking what they could do to help. There were far too many casseroles and plates of cookies already so she decided to start “The Toothbrush Crusade”. You see, even though they had owned and operated a Christian school together for the last twenty years, Jo’s husband was not a believer. So, she asked everyone to pray for her husband’s salvation while they were brushing their teeth. That was around two minutes, at least twice per day that people would be praying for him. I’d love to say her husband was struck by the Holy Spirit and proclaimed his faith before he died, but that isn’t the case. He did tell her he would believe “for her”, but we know that isn’t how it works.
We do not know what goes through the mind in the moments before death. I reassured Jo that, even though we believe, we do not know the mind of God and we are not telepathic. People’s faith is personal and between them and God. She had done everything she could to bring him to Christ. She understands now she has to just wait till she gets there and finds out for herself. My hope is that, in those final moments, he saw a fork in the road and made a choice to move towards the light.
As the evening drew to a close and we ate the last of the dessert we split between us, we proclaimed ourselves as friends for life. Jo and I posed for the obligatory photo to commemorate the occasion, gave a good long hug, and went our separate ways till we meet again. I so enjoyed our time together. The last thing Jo said when she turned to leave was, “Keep doing what you’re doing…you have no idea how much you are helping people.” I quickly replied, “I’m just the transcriptionist. It’s all God’s doing!”
As I got in my truck to head home to Mr. FixIt, I said…”Lord, I always ask you to bring me the words to write and the people on the other side of the screen who need to read them. Thank you, Lord, for showing me they are there.” ❤️
““Why do you ask me about what is good?” Jesus replied. “There is only One who is good. If you want to enter life, keep the commandments.” “Which ones?” he inquired. Jesus replied, “ ‘You shall not murder, you shall not commit adultery, you shall not steal, you shall not give false testimony, honor your father and mother,’ and ‘love your neighbor as yourself.’ ””Matthew 19:17-19 NIV