When Mr. Virgo had his heart attack, we were standing in a camper deciding which one we wanted to take us into retirement. A little less than four hours later, he was gone. The cardiologist came in to sit with me and explain what a “widowmaker” was. It’s the kind of heart attack caused by a sudden 100% blockage of the left anterior descending artery in the heart. You seldom survive that, especially if other arteries are also blocked, or partially blocked. It’s a snatch death…unexpected, sudden, unimaginable.

There’s a large group of new widows in the last year. Women who would more than likely still have their husbands if it weren’t for Covid-19. Men are disproportionately susceptible to dying from Covid, so there are more widows than widowers. Yet, besides Covid, they have another thing in common. Most of them had to live with the fact their loved one died with strangers. This add a whole new dimension to the “snatch death” that I didn’t have to deal with.

I also wasn’t left with little ones at home to try to raise with bills to pay and a house to manage and perhaps a questionable income. These women, and men, are charting new territory in grief and my heart breaks for them. It’s not just spouses touched by these devastating losses. Other family members and dear friends are left struggling…trying to make sense of a senseless situation. Trying to find, and give, love and support.

When I lost Mr. Virgo and was actively grieving and needed hugs, I could go visit friends or go to the mall in our small town or the local grocery store. I could just about count on running into multiple people who offered me hugs and support and cups of coffee. In the age of Covid, it’s harder to find that kind of support.

I read a story this week about grief and Covid. These new widows and widowers are doing what I did…they’re reaching out online for support and caring with others going through the same thing. I’m so grateful for all the grief peeps I met along the way, and for all of you who came along to help me though. I know they will find their grief peeps, too. 

I pray you never have to walk this path and find your way alone. But if, God forbid you do or someone you know does, you can find some resources here:

New York Times: ‘The Other Half of My Soul’: Widows of Covid-19 Bond Over Sudden Loss

NBC News:   A club nobody ‘wanted to join’: How Covid widows are finding support through Facebook

Facebook:   Young Widows and Widowers of Covid-19

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“So our bodies return to the earth, and the life-giving breath returns to God. Nothing makes sense. I have seen it all— nothing makes sense.”

Ecclesiastes 12:7-8 CEV