Holding Christmas in my Heart

Even though I had many things I could have done yesterday, I chose to visit some of my favorite shops in the area and get into the holiday spirit. There’s a little antique shop in Williamstown that I absolutely love called The Painted Cupboard. While they used to also house The Woolen Willow, a quilt and rug hooking shop, they still carry some lovely hand died wools. I bought a homespun dish towel to cut into strips to use as ribbons for the hand painted Christmas ornaments that I’m making. I’ll post pictures of them in a couple of days.

I think Christmas is when I miss Mr. Virgo the very most. He was a fool for Christmas. We often put the tree up the week before Thanksgiving because he was so busy during the holidays. Once ski season started, and we got into the holidays, we often wouldn’t get a day off together till spring. So we made putting up the tree together into a HUGE extravaganza!

The first thing we did was turn on Christmas carols. There was a particular pine scented candle Mr. Virgo loved that we stored away every year when we put away the decorations. That was the first thing out of the box.
Once the tree was up, we tag teamed the lights going round and round. Then came the red organza ribbon we used as garland with the big puffy bows to tie it to the branches. The curve of each drape down had to be eyeballed from across the room with the bows spaced just right. Then the ornaments were placed with the same care. Ahhhh…my Virgo man. Next came the candy canes and finally the angel topper. I SO loved that day…and if it weren’t for the fact I had the promise of doing it again the next year, I swear we would have left the tree up year round.

We had some other special decorations. There was a woodsy Santa that we put on one of the end tables. My mom’s mechanical Santa sat on the floor near a chair. Our stockings were hung on the entertainment center on either side of the TV. Mom’s ceramic carolers went on the entry table. Mr. Virgo hung all white icicle lights on the front porch. We put a wreath on the door and hung an old pair of ice skates with ribbons and greenery on the antique sled in the corner.

We bought a new Christmas ornament every trip we took together. We always bought a special one by Né Qua. They are glass and reverse painted from the inside. Very, very special. I have several of them. The first Christmas after he died, I bought one and sobbed through the entire selection and purchase. Last year, I bought a smaller one, and still cried. Yesterday, I walked into a shop…and there they were. A whole beautiful display of every shape and size of those precious mementos. I felt that familiar catch around my heart. The tears were somewhere lurking in the vicinity behind my eyes. I picked one up and ran my fingers over the curve. Peace on Earth, with a dove. Nice. “Silent Night” played softly in the background. Children chased each other and giggled while mama softly scolded. The world stood still for a moment as I was transported back to 2012…Mr. Virgo’s last Christmas. Our first Christmas off together. His first Christmas off in 40 years. It was my most special Christmas with him. A warm glow started deep in my heart and spread through me. I stood for the longest time holding onto my memories with both hands. Then…I smiled as I carefully placed the ornament back and went on in search of a new journal. I’m on the last page of the current one. It’s time to start new traditions now….a new page in this journey of hope and love.

❤️

“Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.”

Psalm 42:5 NIV

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