Not to sound too cliché, but honestly…today is all we’ve got. There are no promises. We are a heartbeat away from eternity. I don’t want to spend what precious time I have left worrying. Or angry. Or jealous. About anything. Yeah, easier said than done, I know. But it’s a lofty goal.
Today, I am as old as I have ever been. I have achieved a certain level of credibility merely by riding this planet 62 times around the sun. I’ve seen 22,824 sunsets. I am some sort of authority on sunsets by now, I think. I can stand proud in my ability to adapt and survive. I am a freaking warrior princess.
Today, I am as young as I’ll ever be again…chronologically. Age is a state of mind. I choose to think young…most of the time. I seem to pull it off pretty well as most people don’t think I’m 62. I am a lover of life….a dancer of dreams.
Today, I love myself. I’m finally comfortable in my own skin. I live here…in all my impossibly flawed beauty. Baby pooch, flappy wings, cheesy thighs, greying hair, wrinkles and all. I am a wise crone…with fresh, new eyes.
Today, I am flying solo. Sleeping single. Widowed. On my own. But…I am not alone. God walks with me and carries me when I can’t do it myself. There are many hearts beating in my chest with me. And the one true heart that stopped beating a thousand or so days ago lives just a fraction away. So near I can feel him because our souls are still one…still connected…always and forever connected. Death didn’t take that away. Mere death could not sever that bond. I am fierce and brave.
Today, I get to see my firstborn child. I haven’t seen her since the middle of August. I miss her, terribly. Much, much more than I ever have. I am so very proud of her. And happy for her accomplishments. Tomorrow is a big day for her as she gets her graduate degree in Zoology. I am filled with a mighty love.
Today, I get to see my first husband and his family. They are coming for the graduation. I am so blessed to have good relationships with my former husbands. I hear horror stories all the time of people who can’t be in the same room with their exes. I understand it doesn’t work for everyone. However, I was with these men for a reason. I loved them. I love them still…just in a different way. I love them because they love my babies. Because they are good people. Because they love and respect me. Because we are still family. I am gentle and loving in my heart.
Today. Time and distance heals old wounds if you let them. Hope and love gifts you delicious anticipation for what could come. God can bring you peace if you just ask Him.
I am forgiven and at peace.
Today. This day. It’s all we’ve got. What are you going to do with your present?
❤️
“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”
Romans 12:2 NIV