When I was on my three month odyssey in little TOW-Wanda, I had nothing but time and space before me. I had freedom from employment and family obligations. I drove where I wanted, slept when I wanted, and ate what I wanted. I literally laid back in the stream of life and let it take me with it. It was an intense period of purging grief that not everyone gets to experience. And in just that short period of time, I had so many revelations….about God and the Universe, about love and loss, about life and finding the courage to move on through the rest of it without the man I loved more than anything. And, since I think in analogies, let me share an insight with you.

Life is like a leaky bucket. The longer you live, the more holes it gets in it and the faster you have to scoop “water” in to keep it full. Because…that’s the purpose of life, isn’t it? To have a full bucket…a complete, successful, happy life with a full to overflowing bucket. But, remember those holes? They’re sneaky little devils. You don’t even realize you’re getting them till they’re there.

What if I told you the goal in life isn’t to keep filling your own bucket? What if I told you the goal of life is to let your bucket get completely empty? Scary, right? I mean…all your “stuff” is in that bucket! Your life, your love, your security, your accomplishments, your hopes, your dreams. Well, here’s what I discovered in the wilderness of Colorado. When you let your bucket empty out, your life becomes still. Your mind quiets down. Your soul becomes peaceful and you are at rest. No frenetic activity trying to fill and refill your bucket in an endless attempt at fulfillment. Just…peace. And…here’s what happens when you have an empty bucket with lots of holes in it. When you drop it into water, the water rushes in to fill the bucket from the outside. Remember those gems that I’ve told you to pick up out of the flames you’ve been walking through? Remember I told you if you didn’t have an immediate use for, or understanding of them to just stick them in your pocket because they will come in handy down the road? Well, I’m about to tell you what they were for.

There’s an infinite Source of sweet, flowing water in the most scorched wilderness. You’ll see the rivers and streams…evidence there’s something greater up ahead. Follow those streams till you come to the Source…a spring from which flows healing waters, straight from God. Kneel down and dip your bucket in. See how the water rushes in the holes, filling your bucket with the purest, freshest sparkling water imaginable? But, what happens if you lift the bucket and try to walk on your way? It starts leaking out all those holes and soon you have nothing left! Try again…dip in and fill the bucket. Now, reach in your pocket and take out those beautiful gems God left for you in the flames of your grief journey. While your bucket is still submerged, reach in one at a time and place the gems into the holes. See? They’re a perfect fit! Pull your bucket out. No leaks!

This was the whole purpose of looking down as you walked through the fire…..these gems that God left there for you. Some were nuggets of wisdom. Some were bits of insight. Some were sources of comfort. But some…..some were designed to fit the holes in your bucket so you could fill it with God and be refreshed and restored.

When you find yourself on life’s road with a leaky bucket, remember to look for the hidden gems on your path and go to the Source to be re-filled. It’s really just as simple as that.

❤️

“Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”

1 Peter 5:6-7 NIV

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