A friend of mine is struggling with the waves of grief again. It’s been four years. Doesn’t matter. Grief works that way sometimes. You can be fine…really fine for long stretches of time. And then something smacks you in the forehead and you remember that piece of your brokenness that you placed in an iron box. Grief drags you over by the ear and forces you to look at it again. Try as you might, you can’t turn away. As hard as it is to go through it yourself, it’s just as hard to watch a friend standing in the fire and know you can only stand there with the salve to bandage the burns after Grief has had her way.

I was relating this to someone and they said it sounded like someone else they knew…meaning me. That has given me pause. I had to ask myself if I am stuck in my grief. I mean, I can see how it might look that way from the outside. I honestly don’t believe I am. I don’t sit at home and cry. I live with hope. I’m not depressed. But I do talk about grief…a lot. This blog is my ministry. I write about my experiences with grief. I write about my relationship with Mr. Virgo as well as my loss. I write about my feelings which sometimes includes those directly related to grief. My blog is my story. My books are my story. I am NOT my story. And as I head into this last week before the third angelversary, I’m going to explore that with you.

I’ve had a paradigm shift this week. And I have made a decision. The first year was the “Year of the Great Fog”. The second was “The Year of Diminishing Pain” because the fog had lifted. The third was the “Year of Blessed Relief” because I could finally breathe and explore my personal and spiritual growth. I’ve decided the fourth will be the “Year to Thrive”. I’m awake. But, oh my gosh! I have looked at myself in the mirror. I love who I see, for the most part. A confident, younger-looking, wise woman with a heart full of love and positive energy. That being said, my conditioning and diet have really fallen by the wayside. I have a lot of exciting opportunities being presented to me. I want to have the energy and stamina to get out there and really enjoy the next couple of decades. I’m not going to be able to participate like I want to unless I get in better shape.

I started working with a personal trainer this week and I’m going to incorporate my work with him here in a weekly update…”Fitness Friday”. I need the accountability and it gives me more to talk about than just my loss. Don’t worry…I’m not going to preach at you. I’m a Documentarian! I don’t preach…I bring you into my world and show you what it’s like to live here.

❤️

“Souls who follow their hearts thrive; fools bent on evil despise matters of soul.”

Proverbs 13:19 MSG