I don’t know what else to say…yesterday was another perfect day. It was a little hot. Well, ok…it was a LOT hot. The heat index at 10:30 this morning was 108 degrees! I did what I do every morning…I sat on the front deck with my coffee…reading and writing then came in when it got too warm. I actually started reading a novel yesterday. I haven’t read a book for entertainment for a long, long time. I couldn’t concentrate enough to read after I lost Mr. Virgo. Then I couldn’t read because I didn’t want to taint my writing. Someone gave me a copy of The Girl on the Train by Paula Hawkins so I stuck it in one of my bags and brought it with me…just in case. It feels good to let my mind get lost in someone else’s words for a change.
Once the pool became shaded by the building as the sun started to the west, I went out and swam and sat by the pool and read. I went on several walks along the beach yesterday and actually baked chicken and rice for dinner with a salad. Cooking is another thing I never did for myself in those early months and years of widowhood. Life is taking on tinges of normalcy…like a painting when it gets to the point you can tell what it is. I feel whole again…as whole as I can possibly feel, I think.
I’m different now. Different in many ways. Good ways. Healthy ways. My moods are much more predictable…much less erratic. I don’t feel a frantic urgency to move and go and change locations in order to outrun my loss. I meet it head on. I relish my memories more than I fear my pain now and that is a pretty comfortable place to be. I’m happy. I never dreamed four years ago that I would ever feel happy again. But, here it is…greeting me every morning. Seeing me off to dream every night. I am so grateful for these moments.
I’m really looking forward to seeing my Colorado family in a few weeks. I miss them terribly! The girls are growing way too fast! These next three months will be filled with more travels. I have another week here then off to Tennessee for a couple of days then back to the farm for a couple of weeks before I head west. Thanks for traveling along with me…it’s really nice knowing you all are here! ❤️
“I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers.”
Ephesians 1:16 NIV
Today would have been my husband’s 72nd birthday. It’s going to be a hard day to get through…all of them are hard. Sadly,he passed away on the 19th of this month. We had been married over 50 years. I thought caregiving was hard,but nothing compares to this. I’m just trying to make it through day by day…I’m so lost. Yesterday was a pity party day and Sunday felt like it was a week long. Enjoy your vacation…one of these days I’ll enjoy life again.
❤️ Traveling with you!! You go places I will never see and describe their beauty so that I feel I’m there too.
❤️
Oh, Janet…my heart is with you. I cannot imagine caregiving. That long, slow goodbye sounds like such a challenge. I’m glad you are here with us. There are lots of supportive people here on Marshmallow Ranch…especially on the Facebook side because it has been established longer. Hang in there, dear one. Those of us who have walked this path feel your pain. ❤️
I have not experienced the loss of my husband as you have, but I have lost others. I enjoy your writing and have been following you for over a year. I enjoy your perspectives on life in general, and hey, you ARE an interesting writer. I have seen you grow your way out of your loss. You have come a long way Ginny, congratulations!!! Love your scriptures, too! OK, I am looking forward to these other adventures with you! God never abandons us, we just have to hang in there! I wish you all the best Ginny. I just wanted you to know how much I enjoy your blog and even though our situation in life is different I love your muses on life!❤️❤️❤️
Awwww…thank you, Margaret! That is very kind of you to say. ❤️
That is me! Since my retirement I haven’t been able to concentrate or care about cooking. I got a little travel trailer 3 years ago and love to go. This year though the kids have kept me busy. You’re an inspiration to me and so many others. I’m hoping to get to Crested Butte the end of July. Maybe our paths will cross. Thx for your encouraging words!
❤️
Love your stories and travel with you, Ginny
Thank you for sharing your heart and life’s experiences ❤️
❤️
I look so forward to reading what you are doing every day. Traveling with you is like being right there. I especially lived reading your Blog, the week you went to Revival!!!! I felt revived myself. What a Blessing that week was. Took me back to my home church and seeing my sweet grandma get in the spirit and shouting and praising God. Amen!! Best wishes, stay safe, keep writing, God Bless You always. Love you ⚘
❤️