I have a friend who is going through a rough patch. A love has ended and she is going through the pain that brings. She is also a widow. We have never met in person, yet we are friends…sisters…on a “soular” level. As a matter of fact, we have only spoken on the phone once in the two years we’ve “known” each other. I’ve wanted it that way because it keeps the relationship pure…just two souls touching in the ether. Someday we will sit together in person.

In one of our recent conversations, I explained there are many loves that come into our lives. Loves that hold different roles. Loves that come. And loves that go. One of the loves we get sometimes comes in the form of “The Healer”. Mr. Virgo was my healer. He held my heart and my hands while I poured out the pain and heartbreak that came with the ending of my second marriage. And he healed me. He touched my heart and soul. He listened. He held me close. It was what he was put here to do. My healer died. In my friend’s case, her healer moved on.

Things work really great in your relationship with The Healer….until such time as you actually heal. That’s when they sense it’s time to move on. Their purpose has been fulfilled and they disengage and look for the next place to plug in. They will do this over and over and over until either they become enlightened, or they die. Then they get to do it all over again in the next life, if you believe in the recycling of souls. As difficult as it is to go through the pain of the leaving, it is an outward sign of YOUR personal growth…not his failure to provide for you, but the success of his purpose here. She said, “Now I’m healing from HIM! Is there no end?” To which I answered, “Yes…when your heart sees the gifts he gave you and they outweigh the pain his leaving caused. That is a matter of perspective, insight, time, and choice.”

My friend asked, “When did you get so wise?” Well, it is something that has been growing in me since I came out of the wilderness after I lost Mr. Virgo. I feel it. It’s alive and growing…this connection with the Holy Spirit, I call it. It is almost, but not quite, separate from my “self”. I can tap into that energy and come up with wisdom and knowledge that isn’t from “me”. If that makes any sense.

I have become a crone. Not in the wizened, ugly old woman sense. But in the gaining of wisdom and experience that is a combination of faith, time, and meditation on the mysticism of the Holy Spirit. That part of God that is gifted to us when we dedicate our lives to a connection with Him. I am open to all the possibilities of God. This has been the most amazing part of my life’s journey…to know exactly, with 100% certainty, what my purpose in life is. What I’ve been put here to do. That is the gift I was given in the wilderness and it has continued to grow and mature within me. It is pure love. It resonates with the universe, this connection with God…like touching tuning forks together. One gives its vibration to the other and they both sing. It is very real…this vibration. I can feel it. Or rather, I notice its absence when I am not on my path.

Many years ago, I sat with a Shaman…a Native American wise man. We were visiting and he stopped, cocked his head and said, “Tell me about the dream you had last night.” Shivers went up my arms and the hair stood up on the back of my neck because…indeed…I had had a powerful dream just the night before. I told him I was standing naked in a field of wheat, under a full moon…the late summer wind warm on my skin. On my outstretched right arm perched an eagle. I raised my arm and the eagle soared higher and higher till it arced across the moon in silhouette. When it came back down to me, I stretched out my left arm and the eagle turned into a great snowy owl. It landed on my arm. I could feel his weight, his talons digging into my arm…not with pain, but with pressure.

My Shaman friend leaned back with a serious look on his face. “There is a powerful gift coming to you…a wisdom wide and deep that you will use to bring peace and love into the world. But this power frightens you. You will fight it. You will wrestle with it and it will very nearly kill you. But in your deepest, darkest times, that power and wisdom will lift you up, higher and higher until you stand where you are meant to stand…you will do what you are meant to do. This is your purpose. This is why you are here. Do not be afraid of the struggle or the pain. The gift is coming.” Everything he said to me came true. I fought…I nearly died. I turned away. But when I walked into the wilderness without fear…when I had lost everything with the loss of Mr. Virgo, and I shed my pain…the gift has come. The gift of knowing….knowing exactly what I was put here on earth to do. And the strength to do it.

My gift is not my own. It is God…working through me because I open myself to be the vessel. The instrument of His peace. I am blessed beyond belief to have the opportunities He gives me and I don’t pretend to understand how it happened. But I am grateful and will do my best to be worthy.

❤️

““I have much more to say to you, more than you can now bear. But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all the truth. He will not speak on his own; he will speak only what he hears, and he will tell you what is yet to come. He will glorify me because it is from me that he will receive what he will make known to you. All that belongs to the Father is mine. That is why I said the Spirit will receive from me what he will make known to you.””

‭‭John‬ ‭16:12-15‬ ‭NIV‬‬