I was so fortunate to have the opportunity to be a stay-at-home mom when Hubby #2 joined a medical practice in 1986. We lived in the mountains of Colorado. We had a big five bedroom log house on a couple of acres. I fancied myself as some sort of latent hippy mama…a true granola, tree hugging believer in peace and love and Mother Earth News. Those were halcyon days. I was only 33 years old when we moved to Glenwood Springs. 

I learned to ski. I baked our bread and made our yogurt. We burned wood…cutting and splitting great truckloads of logs. I made friends. Lifelong, lasting friends I’m still close to. I discovered the great joys of female friendship and the lovely tradition of meeting at a coffee shop once a week. There is one piece of advice I give my girls. Never forsake your female friendships. There will come a day…without a doubt…that you will need each other to get through the trials and tribulations of life. Even if it’s just to gather over a cup of coffee to solve the world’s problems and vent about the little difficulties of life.

When I first contemplated moving back to my home state after Mr. Virgo died, I asked my friends from high school, “How often do you gather for coffee?” I was told they had never done that. It just wasn’t something they did. These women worked and worked hard. Their weekends were spent caring for their homes and families. The economy isn’t as fluid in West Virginia and folks don’t spend frivolously. This is why we didn’t get a Starbucks here till just in the last few years. Few West Virginians will spend upwards of $5 for a cup of coffee. 

While I totally understood the thinking behind it, I also knew these gals didn’t know what they were missing. I considered how much nicer their lives might have been had they had a group of gals to gather over coffee on a regular basis. I knew how much my women friends added to my life. So I set out to facilitate change in our little burg. I started sending out invitations to a handful of gals to meet for coffee. 

We started out meeting in the lounge area of a popular historic hotel. We eventually needed to find better digs when the hotel remodeled and out little free spot was eliminated. I found a coffee shop on the south side of town that has a large meeting room…a sunroom, of sorts. We try to gather once a month, although there was a long stretch during covid when we did not see each other unless we met outside in the park.

My heart bursts when I see women who maybe hadn’t had a trusted female confidant in their lives join in lively conversations. I love when they move and shift around the table to catch up with each other on a more personal level. And at the end of our time together, the first one who needs to leave shouts, “Time for a picture!” Most often, we enlist the assistance of another customer at the coffee shop to take a group picture. Yesterday, we had a more intimate group and I captured a selfie that fit us all in the frame.

I love these gals. I love listening to their joy in the simple act of gathering. Yesterday was the first time we’ve met since our dear friend Sparky died. I felt her absence keenly. As I was hugging each in turn as we prepared to leave, I whispered to one, “We didn’t even mention our girl.” She said, “I know…it’s ok.” 

I know Sparky wouldn’t want us crying in our coffee. She was too matter of fact and down to earth than that. She would want us to DO something. Support a charity. Join a committee. Serve on a board. Bring people together to make this world a better place. So, I give great consideration to the subjects of Sparky’s affection…mainly the down and out, be they two or four legged…and I contribute accordingly with her in my heart. And, I continue to gather these wonderful women together to love and support each other and to network ideas. This is my way of facilitating change in the world. We are each different in so many ways, yet our backgrounds hold us in the arms of our youth. We have found our common denominator. 

Love.

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“God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved; God will help her when morning dawns.”

Psalm 46:5 ESV