There is a wise saying… “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” There is so much truth in that, whether it is literal or figurative. Nine years ago, Mr. Virgo died unexpectedly and I was sent on a journey. And, while I didn’t ask for it, the journey has not been without value. My husband didn’t need to die so that I could learn these lessons and not everything happens for a reason. Good things and crappy things coexist in life all the time. It is the nature of the beast. While my husband died and I felt unbelievable grief, I also learned so much about myself and attained great personal growth.

As I sat and knitted quietly yesterday, I thought of Mr. Virgo and our relatively short time together. He was hardworking, gifted, intelligent, fun, and handsome. He taught me so much. He put to rest a lot of my issues of abandonment. He showed me I was worthy and beautiful and talented. He carried my heart on a velvet pillow and I felt the same about him. We were a mutual admiration society.

I took a photo of the progress I’m making on the shawl I’m knitting. As I prepared it for today’s post, I noticed the thread dangling from the middle. This pattern began with a single stitch. Then three, then seven, and eventually it grew and grew as I carefully added stitches evenly across the rows. This shawl has come into my life at exactly the right time. It is showing me how, with perseverance and determination, taking one step at a time moves you forward and creates something beautiful. Each stitch has been saturated with prayers…for widows around the world, new and old. For health and happiness. For peace and prosperity. For hope. And for love.

One little stitch. One little step at a time. A new life has been created and my phoenix rose from the ashes of my grief. God has been with me every step of the way. Carrying me along when I needed it. Dragging my butt, kicking and screaming sometimes. I would never have believed I’d be where I am today…happy, healthy, secure…married to my best friend from high school. Mr. Virgo’s life was not lived in vain. He accomplished so much in his 62 years. And he left me with what I needed to build the life I think he somehow knew I’d be pressed upon to lead. 

That morning, we went to Grand Junction, and as we stood in the fourth camper…he suffered a massive heart attack. He made it to the hospital and, after hours of working diligently on his failing heart, they quietly let him go in peace. Another year gone…another year with God. I would never wish Mr. Virgo away from that complete joy. I can recite the events of that day, and I know they were horrifying. However, I cannot feel the feelings that went along with that unless I dive down into the quagmire…something I long ago learned does not serve me well. I think of him often…not with tears anymore, but with fondness and gratitude and love.

Mr. Virgo 1950-2013

?

“But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have fallen asleep. For this we declare to you by a word from the Lord, that we who are alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, will not precede those who have fallen asleep. For the Lord himself will descend from heaven with a cry of command, with the voice of an archangel, and with the sound of the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first. Then we who are alive, who are left, will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so we will always be with the Lord. Therefore encourage one another with these words.”

1 Thessalonians 4:13-18 ESV