I went to knitting group yesterday. I haven’t been there since I got back from Colorado. I found some yarn to make Big a sweater to take to college with her. I’ve got about 6” of it knitted and I’m not sure I am happy with the yarn itself. It is a blend of baby llama, Merino wool, silk and linen and it’s certainly going to be warm. But it has these weird fibers in it. It’s kinda like pulling out sticks and twigs and leaves and little wiry bits. I’m pulling the stickiest of them out as I knit, but I can just imagine wearing it and getting stuck with these fibers. I know she’d have to wear a shirt under it or it would be really itchy. So, before I knit any more of it, I’ll give it some thought. I might give the yarn to my dear friend, Gail. She is a prolific knitter and I’m sure she could use it. She’s always making hats and mittens and things to give to people who need them.

When I was at the knit shop, Mr. FixIt took my truck to the body shop to have the rusty areas looked at to see what we can do. When he arrived, the guys in the shop motioned for him to drive the truck in really fast. It turns out, there was a domestic violence situation next door in a trailer park and a man was barricaded inside. He had been firing a gun all morning…out the windows, I guess. The police arrived just before Mr. FixIt got there. And people were still driving up the street and standing around everywhere. The SWAT team came and engaged with the suspect and he was shot in the abdomen. He was rushed to the hospital and straight into surgery. 

Mr. FixIt was at the red dot. The shooter was at the red X.

Too close, people. WAY too close.

My sweetheart got out of there as fast as he could and is fine. He’s a rock, I’m telling you. I’m a puddle. We don’t go anywhere that I’m not looking at everyone. I look for escape routes and suspicious people. I’m happiest on our five acres with Mr. FixIt by my side. That being said, God did not give us a spirit of fear. That doesn’t mean that we won’t face scary things, though. 

Fear is a normal physiological response. When faced with frightening situations, our bodies pump out a massive surge of adrenalin. The sole purpose of this is to prepare us to either fight the aggressor or run like heck as fast as we can. It is a survival mechanism that has been in place since the dawn of man. It’s how we protect ourselves. That being said, it’s not a place to pitch a tent and live forever. Living in fear is not what the Lord had in mind when He gave us adrenal glands.

Remaining in a state of fear is harmful to our health….in every way. Physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. When I am faced with fearful situations, I remind myself to breathe first. Then I ask myself if I am in true danger at the moment. No? Breathe again. If I can do something about it…I do it. If not, I breathe again. Once the threat is past, I’m often left with this lingering jittery feeling and maybe even an upset stomach. That is the adrenalin speaking and it’s not going to kill me no matter how icky it feels.

I’ve found if I just sit, I’m liable to ruminate and make matters worse. Writing helps tremendously. Getting up and doing something diverts my attention. Cleaning the kitchen. Taking out the trash. Stepping into a shower. Going outside and looking at the stars or the clouds…whichever is making its appearance at the time. I usually can’t concentrate on a book and I don’t watch TV. One of the quickest ways to settle my mind and my spirit is to knit and pray. This accomplishes two things…I calm down, and whoever wears what I’m knitting has the added advantage of wrapping themselves in lots and lots of prayers. Win-Win.

I don’t know if there is actually MORE gun violence than normal happening right now or if it’s more the “cause du jour” that the media is focusing on. It seems the rapid fire news cycle is meant to keep us stirred up and angry or fearful. High tension sells news. Whatever the case may be, I’m all about jumping on this wave and riding it to come up with some sort of reasonable bipartisan gun laws that will help stop the madness. When the shots happen that close to those I love dearest in the world, my mama bear energy gets riled up. Thoughts and prayers are very important, but we must DO something. 

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“I prayed to the Lord, and he answered me. He freed me from all my fears.”

Psalms 34:4 NLT