The First Signs of Spring

I went to town yesterday for my appointment and to run some errands. (I lost four pounds! Yay, me!!!) Mr. FixIt and I spend more time together one-on-one than anyone I’ve ever been with. I love living life with him…the simplest things are more fun, more meaningful, just…better with him by my side. We both realize it’s important to maintain our own interests and friends as well. And invariably, when we are apart…even for a short time…we miss each other something awful.

In less than two weeks, we’ll be commemorating the 10th angelversary of Mr. Virgo’s death. As I drove around and ran my errands yesterday, my mind wandered over how my life has changed in the last decade. There will be a lot of musings in the coming days processing yet another milestone since his loss as well as honoring who he was…to me, to his family and friends, to the world.

I was 59 when I became a widow. I faced my 60th birthday alone…certainly not how I had envisioned it. I am a much different woman than I was the day he died. Changed by the loss itself. Changed by the awakening of my awareness that I was in this for the long haul. Changed by the realization that I was never going to get through this if I didn’t let God lead me instead of trying to slog through it on my own. It was pretty clear to me early on that I would make a terrible mess of things on my own. I am blessed that I found Mr. FixIt a few years later. Turning 70 will be a far different proposition than 60 was. A lot of that is the personal growth I’ve attained in the years since Mr. Virgo’s death.

I got home just in time for Mr. FixIt, Jr’s arrival. He came to put the ridge vent on the roof over over the family room. My sweetie had everything laid out for him so he was done in an hour then sat and visited for a while. I was working on my laptop in the Big Red Chair and I could overhear their conversation. It was easy, gentle. It flowed with the confidence that comes from time, true love and genuine respect. I didn’t have that with my dad. Mr. Virgo didn’t have that with his children. Not all relationships are built that way. Some people are blessed with an easier time of things. Mr. FixIt is a good man. A fine husband. And a wonderful father. 

I’m just polishing up the last details on my big project. It should be ready to launch on March 13th…the day after Mr. Virgo’s angelversary. It’s time to honor his memory with something new and fresh and hopeful. 

Stay tuned!

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“‘You’re my servant, serving on my side. I’ve picked you. I haven’t dropped you.’ Don’t panic. I’m with you. There’s no need to fear for I’m your God. I’ll give you strength. I’ll help you. I’ll hold you steady, keep a firm grip on you.”

Isaiah 41:10 MSG