Life is a balancing act. When I was raising my children, I was doing all those extra things you do as a young mother and wife. Soccer, cheerleading, Hospital Auxiliary…I was even a DJ on the local public radio station. I had a 4000 square foot garden and boarded horses. I canned, baked our bread, made yoghurt and tofu as well as chopped wood for the wood stove we heated our house with. Throw in the time I volunteered at a local Arabian farm in exchange for my daughter’s riding lessons and the fact that my kids are nearly 16 years apart and my husband at the time was a doctor and rarely at home, my life was crazy. I felt like that guy on the Ed Sullivan Show who spun 20 plates on sticks and tried to keep them from falling. I exercised like a fiend for stress reduction but eventually it all came apart and the plates crashed to the ground.
It took a lot of work to put all those pieces back together and I protect my sanity like a mother bear protecting her cubs. I know all too well how easily life can tip out of balance. When I feel the storms of stress rumbling at the edges of my consciousness, I know it’s time to pull back and take a seat deep within. When my mind starts to chatter and criticize, I pray. I meditate. I become the one who listens…the one who hears the chatter. I remind myself that the chatterbox in my mind is not “me”. It is thought. Thoughts come and go. I am always here. When I can sit with that, my mind quiets down and I can just BE. In the present. In this moment. I don’t worry about what happened before…I don’t predict what will happen next. I just retreat to my inner sanctuary for a while. It’s very refreshing and life affirming. It takes practice and becomes easier when you reach “a certain age”. I think we remember that time when we were children. That time before the big people told us what, and what not to believe.
Yesterday’s drive (note the bighorn sheep that was right beside the road) and subsequent soak in the local hot springs was just such an event. As I sat in my car with TOW-Wanda hooked up and ready, I spent a few moments getting still and taking in the amazing views from my friend’s property. I closed my eyes and concentrated on my breathing. I listened to the Earth below me speak her wisdom. As I opened my eyes, there….flying directly at my windshield, not twenty feet away, was a young bald eagle. He swept right by my window, pulling up at the last possible moment. I smiled at the rush of energy that swept through me. I was ready to move into the next room in my soul.
Ahhhh…Spring cleaning.