Byron Katie does a self-investigative dialogue called “The Work”. The directions are simple. “Judge your neighbor, write it down ask the questions then turn it around.” The questions are:
1) Is it true? (Yes or no. If no, move to 3)
2) Can you absolutely know that it’s true? (Yes or no)
3) How do you feel/act when you believe that thought?
4) Who would you be if it wasn’t possible for you to think this thought?
Then you turn the thought around and find two or three genuine examples of how it is true for you in this situation.

This is a really powerful tool that I have used many times to work through things. Let’s use a hypothetical situation.

“My husband never listened to me.”

1). Is it true?

Well, I told him things and when the time came to do them he had no recollection of having had the discussion.

So, yeah, it’s true.

2) Can I absolutely know that it’s true?

Well, no. I don’t absolute know what’s going through another person’s mind.

3) How do you react/feel when you have the thought “My husband never listens to me?

Well, frankly it pissed me off and made me feel unimportant.

4) Who would you be if you didn’t have that thought?

I’d be free to enjoy my husband without being mad at him for “not listening to me”.

Now, turn it around.

“My husband listens to me.” Is that just as possible?

“I don’t listen to my husband.” How does that fit you? I mean, it’s hard to hear someone when your brain is busy screaming at him for not listening.

The Work is not about changing your thoughts. As a matter of fact, Katie frequently reminds you she isn’t asking you to change your mind. The Work is all about opening your heart. The change comes when your heart opens.

Look up Byron Katie on Google. The Work is the simplest tool I have ever used.