Even though it has been a year and a half since Mr. Virgo died, my emotions are still on a roller coaster and it’s very frustrating. I think trauma and grief flips a switch in your brain and things that normally wouldn’t bother you sometimes feels insurmountable. Your highs get higher, your lows get lower, and the distance between the two get shorter.

Having the house on the market has been one of the most stressful things I have ever done. Certainly not as stressful as losing Mr. Virgo, but I was numb for most of the year. I’ve read repeatedly that the second year is worse because you’re awake and aware and still actively grieving. I had such a high with the sale of the house. Last night I went out for dinner with a friend. My tummy has been so tender the last year and there are certain foods that trigger a night of misery, pizza being the worst offender. And I LOVE pizza! So, of course, celebrating the high of the sale, I had pizza. I had a rough night and consequently crashed. And when you crash in combination with grief, you crash hard. But then the sun comes up and life looks different. A little drained, but I feel much better. I hope the highs and lows mellow out as this process progresses because this is exhausting.

Grief is an amazingly difficult and complex journey and no two are alike. There are some general similarities, but for the most part, you walk this path with a blindfold. When I see a new widow, I want to wrap her in my arms because I know the land she will travel to in the coming years is pretty rough.