I’ve been reading posts lately about feeling stuck. I remember in my own grief journey, especially the first year or two, there were so many times I felt complete frozen. It was hard to get up and get out of bed, let alone do anything meaningful. There were long stretches where I wondered if I would actually make it. I was filled with despair. It’s always worse in winter. As I am sitting here, the rain is pounding on the tin roof of this farmhouse. At least it isn’t snow. Long dark nights and short grey days have a way of making even the sunniest disposition go sour.

I got an Amazon Echo for Christmas. I love it because I can “talk” to Alexa and she “answers” me back. Yesterday, I asked her what the 7-day forecast was and she kept looking for adjectives. Finally she said Friday was going to be “dreary”. It’s pretty bad when your computerized companion describes the coming day as dreary. That does it! I’m heading for some sun, sand, and surf…soon. Like…really soon!

How do you start moving when things get stagnant and you get stuck? It’s OK to mattress surf for a day. I always drew the line and refused to allow myself two days of that. I went through a severe clinical depression in the ’90s…I’m not going there again. But, what do you do? How do you get motivated to get up and move. I had one goal every day. I figured if I did just one positive thing every day it meant I was moving forward, no matter how tiny the baby steps were. My goal every day was to clean my kitchen sink. I know. Not much of a goal, is it? Here’s what happened, though. I scrubbed that kitchen sink till it shined. And once the sink was shiny, my heart lifted a little. Then, a cup of tea sounded nice. Then, there was a magazine on the table that had pretty pictures of spring decorating and flowers. I always kept sunny magazines laying around the house and in my car. Those magazines helped me tremendously as I could escape into their glossy pages for a little bit when things felt overwhelming. You don’t have to read a lot…just flip through and escape.

Sometimes my days were spent getting through every hour…a minute at a time. But every hour put me another hour ahead, another hour forward. You don’t have to make BIG progress every day. Just make SOME progress every day. Little tiny baby steps are still steps. Some days will feel like you took two steps forward and three steps back. As a matter of fact…you’ll have a lot of those days. Just remember…you took those TWO STEPS. That’s something. That’s forward movement. Don’t discount that, dear ones. Stand up and move. Make the choice to live…REALLY live. You can do this. You’re still here. Let me repeat that. You…are…still…here! Good for you! ❤️

“I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”
‭‭Philippians‬ ‭3:14‬ ‭ESV‬‬