“If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.”
‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭13:2‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Weddings are joyous occasions for family and friends to gather and witness two people joining in a lifelong commitment. Just like baptism is the outward sign of an inward commitment, so is a wedding. Mr. FixIt and I went to his granddaughter’s wedding on Saturday and it was so touching to hear her voice thicken with emotion as they said their vows. Toasts were given, tears of joy were shed, as well as tears of sorrow as the bride’s step-father passed away unexpectedly last summer. My heart went out to her mom…his widow…my sweetheart’s only daughter.

There have been times when a wedding cut me off at the knees. After a painful divorce many years ago, a wedding was a slap in the face…a reminder that my marriage had failed. My second to do so, actually. Then, after losing Mr. Virgo, it was a stab in my heart…a huge neon sign that read “You are a WIDOW!” Which, translated meant…”You are not married anymore!” That’s not really true…yet it is. It’s a heck of a place to be in your head.

I distinctly remember riding a city bus one time after my second marriage ended. There was a couple on the bus…sitting close, holding hands, looking lovingly into each other’s eyes. I wanted to literally get up out of my seat and go slap them. After losing Mr. Virgo, my response was different. I wanted to tell every single person who was in a relationship to CHERISH EVERY MINUTE!!! I wanted to lecture them of the sin of taking their person for granted…for not appreciating every single thing, every word, every action the other did.

Attending a wedding when you are grieving, no matter what the cause, may be difficult. If you feel you just aren’t up to it, then by all means decline. I’m sure most people will understand. If the wedding is for a close family member or friend and you feel you need to go, pace yourself. Take breaks for a bit of fresh air or to go to the powder room. Hopefully, the bride has extended a “plus one” invitation and you can bring a friend for support. (I always encourage brides to extend a “plus one” invitation for widows/widowers as a courtesy. We sometimes need that extra boost of confidence a friend can provide.)

I am grateful to have come through that and can now attend a wedding…happy for the newlyweds. I can remember the past with less pain and more love. It is such a blessed relief to be in this place of peace. That being said…I was immensely relieved the bride and groom did not choose “At Last” for their first dance. ❤️