Joyce Meyer wrote “Patience is not simply the ability to wait – it’s how we behave while we’re waiting.” Oh, dear! If that is true, I am behaving badly. I have very little patience. It must be a Gemini thing because a friend of mine is the same way. I am an instant gratification girl. I want winter to be over…now, thank you very kindly. My polite artist friend Linda said this yesterday. “Your house is on wheels. If you don’t like the snow and cold, go somewhere else!” She’s right, of course. But…I’ve been waiting for weeks for my topper to come in for my truck. (It came once and they made it wrong so they had to order another one.) The topper is in and I’m scheduled to have it installed today at 2:00. However, we are under a winter storm warning. And I’m not taking this big gal out on the road if there is ANY chance of snow. So I’m kinda stuck. Really, it’s not so bad. I have lots of friends to hang out with. I have reading material out the wazoo. I have plenty of propane, electric, food, and water. I even have a yoga DVD. Maybe that’ll calm me down. Ommmmmmm…

I have a sister/friend. You may have one. She’s the one who’s been with me the longest. She may not be my biological sister, but she’s still my sister, you know? We don’t talk as much as we should. We haven’t visited each other in eleven years. It’s been too long. I’ve been so wrapped up in my stuff, I haven’t been there for her like I should have been. She’s good. If she hears my “Chamber of Commerce” voice, she cuts me off and makes me tell her what’s really going on. She’s right, you know. There’s a lot of times I put on the strong face, square my shoulders, and say “I’m fine” and while it’s not a lie, maybe it’s not quite the whole truth either. The truth is, I’m fine, and this sucks. I’m strong, and this is such a struggle. I’m competent, and I get afraid. I’m not “over it”. I’ll never be “over it”. But I’m replenishing myself. I’m filling my bucket. I’m rebuilding my foundation…one tiny little brick at a time. And I’M doing it. No one else can do it for me. It’s hard work, it’s exhausting, but I’m getting it done. And…here’s the bad part. Because she was asking about me, I prattled on and on about me. I’ve been so focused on me, I’ve become egocentric. She lost one of her beloved fur babies this week. And I didn’t even ask about him. She’s had health issues and I didn’t ask her about them. I love this girl as my own flesh and blood and I failed to be the support she needed from me. And I feel small for that. I promise…I’ll be a better sister.

❤

“I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.”

Philippians 4:11 NIV