My friend Jamie is doing some really hard stuff this weekend. Her dear friend Angie is dying. Actively dying. Cancer is such a brutal disease. It robs everyone of time, health, dignity. There is nothing good about cancer. Yet, in this midst of dying, there can be moments of grace. Angie has a young daughter she won’t see graduate or marry or have babies. In some of her last lucid moments, she was able to dictate three letters to be given to her daughter on just those occasions. What a gift that will be for this young woman to have her mom reach out to her from beyond, just when she needs her most.

I think we all wish we had hidden letters from our moms. Letters that tell us how loved we are…how proud we made her…how she wishes she could be there but she’s watching from above. I can’t imagine losing my mom at seventeen. I know Angie’s friends will step up and be there for the important events. They’ll be sounding boards and support systems and surrogates. It’s going to be a rough go for everyone.

The only time I ever sat at someone’s bedside while they were dying was in support of a friend. Her grandmother was unresponsive in the nursing home. Being Jewish, my ex-husband and I were called to the bedside to recite the sh’ma (also called the shema)…the prayer sung over and over for the dying. We stayed till nearly dawn when we needed to get back home for the baby. An hour or so later, our friend called. When we saw the caller ID, we expected to hear her grandmother had died. Instead, we were greeted with laughter when we answered. It seems our friend was calling relatives to report the current status when the phone slipped off the night stand and fell crashing to the floor. Grandma sat bolt upright in bed and yelled, “$&@?@ €#£|$@….what does a person have to do around here to get a decent night’s sleep???” The dying often rally before the end. Angie did…after a night of everyone sitting around her bed, singing songs and praying…she woke up Friday morning singing “I’m Too Sexy For My Shirt”…much to everyone’s delight. At this writing, she is unresponsive again and it is just a matter of time. She…the owner of the megawatt smile. She…the fellow Gemini who met me once and became my lifelong friend. She…who will leave a giant hole in the hearts of all who knew her. Angie…who would love that I told you a funny story rather than cry about her dying. We honor those who touch our hearts.

See you on the other side, Sunshine. ❤️

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.”
‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭1:3-4‬ ‭ESV‬‬