A Change is Gonna Come…

Changing leaves
“A change is coming. Can you feel it?”

“Many claim to have unfailing love, but a faithful person who can find? The righteous lead blameless lives; blessed are their children after them.”  Proverbs 20:6-7 NIV

Yesterday, I told you there were some big decisions I’ve been working on the last few months. Today, I want to talk with you about one of them. The most important one. This is a REALLY long post…but hang in there with me. You won’t be sorry.

Not long after Mr. FixIt and I became a serious item, God started working on me. For a long time, whenever I walk into church, I say a little prayer. I always say, “Lord, if there is a personal message you have for me today, please anoint the Pastor’s words so he can deliver it to me.” Countless times, God answers my plea and the Pastor will literally come to the front of the stage, stand right in front of me, look me straight in the eye, and say something that is unmistakably personal. Something exactly about what I’ve been working on, or worrying over. I would say it’s uncanny, but what it really is…is supernatural. Our God is a supernatural God. He listens, and He communicates…through the Holy Spirit. Through a total stranger. Through your Guardian Angel. If He has a message, and you ask Him to tell you loud and clear, He doesn’t need a megaphone. He’ll beat you over the head with it if it’s something you truly need.

From the time Mr. FixIt and I got serious, I’ve been getting messages from God that we shouldn’t be living together without being married. I have to be honest…this has never bothered me before. I’m a product of the ‘60s and I never had a problem living with someone before we got married. But this time is different. It’s been wearing on me. And I think I’ve figured out why.

The biggest reason is my faith has grown exponentially since Mr. Virgo died. I had to make God the center of my life in order to survive that loss. In order to not feel so alone. And God has drawn me ever so close to Him. He has guarded me and protected me. He has led me through some terribly difficult times. He has been my rock…my anchor. In the past, that has not been the case. My relationship with my husband was my focus. My relationship with God suffered and therefore I suffered. And I wasn’t even aware of it.

Mr. FixIt and I keep God at the center of our relationship. Or…so I would love for everyone to believe. See, here’s the thing. You’re either all in with God. Or, you’re not. That’s why I’ve been feeling off about cohabitation. Now, there is the issue of widow’s benefits. I had been told when I first went to Social Security after Mr. Virgo died, that if I remarried I would lose my widow’s benefits. I’ve kept that information in my mind all this time without questioning. Until last weekend.

Mr. FixIt and I have spent a great deal of time apart in the last month between being sick and in the hospital, camping with the Girl Campers, and going to Country Living Fair. The reason I took my camper up with me and camped alone instead of bunking with my gal pals was…I needed some alone time with God. These wonderful women I was with are two of my strongest Christian friends. They mentor me. They are sounding boards for me when I have questions. They are my fellow prayer warriors when I need them. I confessed how I was feeling and they talked with me about it.

While camping alone, I prayed deeply. I told God my worries. I told him I totally trust in Him and that I know without question that He will provide for me. But I’ve been so worried about losing my widow’s benefits because my own Social Security is paltry. I was a stay-at-home mom, so I didn’t make a lot of money in my lifetime. Mr. Virgo, however, worked in 5-Star resorts and restaurants all his career. He died before touching his Social Security. My benefits through him are far more than my own. Not enough to live in the lap of luxury, mind you. But enough to live on if I were extremely frugal. I asked God to give me a sign that I wouldn’t lose my benefits if I remarried.

Then, I listened. “Google. What happens to widow’s benefits if you remarry?” Simple enough, right? I mean, why didn’t I think to Google that a long time ago? Because….it wasn’t the right time. Mr. FixIt asked me to marry him just a month after we started dating. It was too soon. We needed to get to know each other more. We needed to grow together in our faith. And, I needed more time to work through my grief. This was God’s perfect timing. I Googled the question and page after page of answers came back. “If you remarry after the age of 60, you will NOT lose your widow’s benefits.” Wow! The reason it stuck in my head so long ago was, I was only 59 when Mr. Virgo died. They told me if I remarried, I would lose my benefits. But that was THEN. Grief brain didn’t allow the rest of it to soak in. 

I sat back…stunned by this revelation. I looked up and said, “Thank you, God. That’s all I needed to know!” Then I texted Mr. FixIt.

“I miss you. Let’s get married.”

Without missing a beat, he wrote back. “OK! We’ll set a date when you get home! What prompted this?”

“God.” I said.

So, we set a date! Yes, my lovely Ranchers…we’re getting MARRIED!!!

Ohhhhh….Emmmmmm…..Geeeeeeeee!!!

I’m all in. I can’t, in good conscience, profess my faith AND live in a way that I feel, for me, is counter to that. So I’m following my conscience and God’s clear instructions to marry this very wonderful man that He sent me. We chose October 13th as our wedding day. When I was looking through the calendar, the 13th jumped out at me. I seemed to remember it being a family anniversary. I looked up on my family tree and indeed…it was my Grandma and PopPop’s anniversary! Those two in whose bedroom I am currently propped up, writing to you! PopPop died on my mom’s birthday…August 26th. Just seven weeks before their 50th Wedding Anniversary. I know how terribly sad I was when Mr. Virgo died just three weeks shy of our 6th anniversary. I can’t imagine what my grandma went through losing her forever sweetheart so close to such a monumental event. I am thrilled we can celebrate our wedding on their special day!

So, there it is, my friends. A change is gonna come. Will I still be a widow? Yes, I will always and forever be a widow. AND, I will be a wife again. Never in my wildest dreams would I have anticipated something so precious happening again. I know Mr. Virgo had a hand in this. He and God stopped at the 9th or 10th hole one day when they were playing a round of golf. 

“Hey, look down there at that beautiful woman. Do you think we can send her someone to love who will love her back with the white-hot heat of the sun?”

And God said…”Ha! Watch this!” ❤️

 

110 thoughts on “A Change is Gonna Come…”

  2. Awwww!!!!
    Ginny, I LOVE you so MUCH!!!!
    This is so wonderful and Amazing and I can’t stop smiling and crying!!!!
    Our Father, our Abba, is so amazing and loves each one of us soooo much!!!!
    Congratulations!!!!!
    Faith! That child like faith!!!
    He made it so simple yet we make it so hard!
    ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️???????
    ??‼️??

    Reply

  9. “Hey, look down there at that beautiful woman. Do you think we can send her someone to love who will love her back with the white-hot heat of the sun?”

    And God said…”Ha! Watch this!” ❤️

    THIS literally made me cry. O my heart!

    Reply

  10. This is so good. Would be another great article for Hometown Journey Magazine! (Remember us?) Let me know what you think.

    – Angie Middleton

    Reply

    1. I was thinking about you all the other day and thinking the same thing! Send me an e-mail with the contact info and I will send this with a bit more intro at the beginning. ❤️ginny@marshmallowranch.com

      Reply

  13. Ginny, that always kind of bothered me too, but it wasn’t my place to say anything. I am so happy you have finally made the decision to marry this wonderful man. Congratulations to both of you! My God bless your union!

    Reply

  15. Congratulations, I’ve been wondering when this would happen, I’ve been reading between your lines just waiting for the answer.
    I;m so happy for you both.
    May God shower you with all his Blessings.
    Hugs,

    Reply

  20. Wow! I could have written this! Those were my feelings exactly. When I went to social security to change my name after I remarried(4 years a widow) they told me I would not loose my widow benefits because I remarried after he would have been eligible for his SS benefits. God is Good! SO HAPPY for you! So many things you write co-inside with me & my life! I love following Marshmallow Ranch – going on 5 years now & my husband & I celebrated our first anniversary in July❣️

    Reply

  21. Ginny, as aSOTF, and a Sister in Christ, I love your honesty! I went through the same battles a few months ago, and it is so true how close Christ comes, then we begin to fill our lives with things again and we realize how much we miss him! What a loving God we have. My story doesn’t have a happy ending, he was not Mr. Right. But I have found a new joy through SOTF and will seize every fresh breath, every sun ray, very smile snd just Be Happy! ???

    Reply

  22. I’ve always been pleasantly surprised by your honesty and authenticity especially as a Christian. You’ve inspired me to do some prayin’ about my own situation in my christian walk, while being as authentic as I can. *sigh*
    Thank you, and Congratulations! ♥️
    ~Renee

    Reply

  24. Love, love, love your love story! Be happy, my friend. You deserve the happily ever after and this good man. I so wish I could celebrate with you but I’ll be there in spirit & prayer. Best wishes & much love! ❤️❤️❤️

    Reply

  25. Lovely… just a love story with God at the center, what could be more perfect…. nothing my dear, nothing at all❤️

    Reply

  26. ?? PERFECT……He is the F to your G…..Fixit – Finally – Ginny go be happy and content you have earned it❣️ ?????

    Reply

  28. Wow oh wow oh Wow! Congratulations ?. You had to go through the journey and now it’s going to be a more wonderful Fall.

    Reply

  29. Tears of joy for you, Ms Ginny and your handsome Mr. FixIt! Congratulations! Can’t wait for you to share THIS adventure with us!

    Reply

  31. Congratulations!!!! We have been bothered, too. But not our place to say. But we have been praying for you. Greg says .. . . “You have come a long way . . . . .now a beautiful smile adorns your face.” We can’t wait to see a picture or two. Love the date October 13, our middle daughters birthday. Love you sweet lady. May the Lord bless your life with Mr. Fixit. And “Thank you Father for sending Mr. Fixit to this sweet lady”.

    Reply

  32. So happy for you ?
    My love passed when I was 59 and I was also told if I should ever remarry I would lose that benefit.
    Not an issue with me though, not in any relationship.
    I rejoice in your happiness and may God ever bless your marriage . ?

    Reply

    1. I don’t know why they say that except for the fact that we were both 59 at the time. What…did they think we were going to go out the next week and get married or something? Anyway, if you scroll through the comments on this post, you will find one with a link to an excellent article on the Social security website. And, it’s perfectly ok to not have another relationship if you so choose. We are all different. Our grief is different. How we handle every phase of life is different. Thank you for being here. ❤️

      Reply

  33. It seems everyone is happy for you as am I. We have been friends through FB for years. You know my story and I know yours. God placed a wonderful man in my path after 6 yrs of being alone. I love it when God shows us a glimpse of His Plan❤️ Congratulations!

    Reply

  34. First, congratulations! All the best to you and Mr. Fixit.
    Also, I love in the first paragraph when you say that God will beat you over the head with something if you truly need it. Yup, yup, yup. I have bedbugs in my home. They came in about a month ago, and at first I was overwhelmed and paralyzed with fear. But, after going to church, praying and speaking with my pastor (who put me in contact with a great exterminator!), I realized that I have not been taking care of myself or my home. Instead of going out and taking care of everyone else, I need to stay home, clean, and get rid of all the extraneous clutter that has been holding me back. This too shall pass 🙂

    Reply

  35. God is so great! I have been praying for you to realize that you need to marry your Mr. Fixit. For some reason it has weighed heavily on my heart although we have never met. You are a mentor and inspiration to so many and I rejoice you asked and God answered. Bless you my “Sister in Christ”.

    Reply

  36. I surmised this yesterday when you stated A change was coming.
    I liked October 13 as that is my birthdate !
    Right around the corner
    I have been single since 2005 and I’m gone through so many stages …
    After being married for 41 years then divorced I have still a ways to go
    I’m happy for you and your decision. I don’t know if God wants me to remarry or not. I haven’t dated I am now finding joy in joining social groups and finding a church family …
    I went through so much fear after the break up and then relief is just flooded me for so many years that I was free of bondage. I was married when I was 16 so I really did not have a life beyond marriage.
    I am looking forward to hearing more about your wonderful wedding to Mr. fixit.
    Then you will be Mrs. fixit. ???????? Best wishes always do a really nice lady

    Reply

  37. I was just shy of 42 when my first husband suicided and lost pretty much everything including widow benefits upon remarriage . I was too young …imagine that. I was either going to be a homeless widow or like Ruth on the threshing floor .
    My Boaz showed up . I’m glad yours did too.
    It’s good that you’re taking the right steps ahead.

    Reply

  38. Congratulations to you both! Praise God for knowing the best time and people to. bring together. May you live in the lap of Jesus until we all go home!

    Reply

  39. OMGoodness! This has touched me in a way that you’ll never know! Thank you for sharing your blessings from God to all your followers!

    Reply

  40. Dearest Ginny, you brought tears to my eyes, I’m so happy for you.. I can’t express how happy I am for you!!!
    Much love sweet friend
    Love Karen

    Reply

  41. Awww, Ginny I’m so very happy for you and Mr. Fix it !!!!!! You are so deserving of monumental happiness !! So many blessings ❤❤❤

    Reply

  43. Congrats to you both. It is uplifting to me to read of your faith. I appreciate you sharing your struggles and your prayers and God’s constant love. You are a blessing to me. Much love to you a and your soon-to-be husband. ??

    Reply

  45. GInny, I am so happy for you and Mr Fix It! Our God is so good and faithful to show us His will and His direction! What a glorious new season this will be!

    Reply

  47. Ginny,
    So happy you’re getting married! Have to say I was very disappointed when I read that you decided just to live together for financial reasons, and did not read your posts very often after that declaration. Glad you decided to listen to our Father’s promptings, and may He bless you both!

    Reply

    1. Yes, it wore on me as well. I hope you’ll read more often. Sometimes it takes a solid whack to get my attention. It’s not just the relief of financial pressures. It’s truly that I want to do what is right. Thank you so much for your candor. I really appreciate it. ❤️

      Reply

  49. I’m so happy for you my sweet friend. I know that God will continue to bless you and keep you in the palms of his hands. I hope to meet Mr Fixit one day and tell him how thrilled I am that you two are together! Love you!

    Reply

  50. I am so happy for you and Mr. Fix it. You are so blessed. Isn’t it amazing you and Doreen has found love again. Congrats hon.

    Reply

  51. I’m very happy for you and very happy that you have heard God’s voice telling you what he wanted you to do. He always has our best in mind:) I never said it very directly, but it troubled me about you living together, so I am glad you are ‘fixing it with Mr. Fixit’.

    Reply

    1. I knew it did, Sally. Actually, you saying that so briefly was one of the first seeds planted that eventually opened my ears to God’s direction. It is an amazing thing when people pray for you. I actually felt the discomfort growing so that’s when I sought direction. I’m so glad I did. It feels right in my heart now. ❤️

      Reply

  52. My battle too. Cept I married at 56
    I had so many things going wrong after I moved in with Mr Right
    I prayed and God said I’ll take care of you!
    We married and our concerns have turned to praise ! God is so good!

    The law isn’t good and in fact discrimination is what’s going on! If you divorce after x yrs of marriage you do do do get benefits from your ex at retirement age ! WRONGED us widows again! There is a petition my remarried friend Vivian has on her widow site. PLEASE sign!
    Help spread that word too!

    Congrats on your wedding
    Come marry on our farm in Pigeon Forge and I’ll photograph as a gift!

    Reply

    1. What a sweet offer but I’ve got about 80 people coming to The Ponderosa in….ummmm, 19 days, to be exact. We’re heading south one of these days. Maybe we’ll stop by for a visit and a photo shoot! ❤️

      Reply

  53. Whoa! I’m in the same place and a similar conflict wages within me. I do not believe it was an accident that God prompted me to see this post today! My heart is so happy for you! And honestly, for me as well!

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *