“Mr. Virgo’s final resting place.”“For the righteous will never be moved; he will be remembered forever. He is not afraid of bad news; his heart is firm, trusting in the Lord.”
Psalms 112:6-7 ESV
We often compartmentalize segments of our lives based on what happened in that particular time frame. One might identify the child raising years and the empty nest years. Or a marriage that ends in divorce with its resultant “before” and “after”. For me personally, I have two that are particularly significant…”The Prozac Years” and “Mr. Virgo’s Death”.
There is a line in the sand between the before and after of my husband’s death. Nowhere am I more aware of that line than where I am sitting as I write this. I went to the mountains yesterday to visit my brother. He’s getting older and more frail. His ankles are swollen and he’s forgetful. I showed him pictures on my iPad and he didn’t know who our grandparents were. It made me very sad and added to the knots I already had in my stomach before I got there.
After spending the afternoon with my sweet brother, I went to visit my “adoptive parents”…an elderly couple that stood in as my parents when I married Mr. Virgo. The difference in their health in the last year is not unexpected by any means, given their age. But it still hurts my heart to see them this way.
I spent an hour with one of the dearest friends in the world and she shared some of the struggles she is facing right now. It made my heart hurt even more. And I promised I would pray for her. I love her dearly. I love all of these wonderful people. And…I’m standing right on the line in the sand. I am a stone’s throw from the cemetery as I write this.
Mr. Virgo’s grave is a mess. I’ll go to Walmart tomorrow and get some stuff to clean it up. I think I’ll lay landscape fabric and crushed stone to make it look clean. I can’t plant anything because it doesn’t rain enough here to make anything grow.
I can smell the smoke from the wildfires. Hopefully, with the little rainfall they’ve been getting, the firefighters can bring them under control soon.
I’m letting myself feel the feels while I’m here. When I’m in WV, there is so much distance. There are no constant “in your face” reminders. When I’m here, he’s everywhere. So…I’ll just lean back into the river and ride the current downstream. ❤
It seems the older I get the more of these moments I face. I have not had the same experiences as you, different hurts and struggles.
It is easy to say it is part of life, yes it is, it does not make it easier to deal with these life changes.
Take care. praying for you.
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Thinking of you this week and hoping you find comfort with your loved ones. God bless you Ginny.
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Ginny, read this brought up my ‘ line in the sand’ moments. More than I care for. God Bless you.
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I hope you know that your honest sharing blesses so many of us. Thank you always for your thoughts and insight. You have helped me so much to learn to be the best widow that I can possibly be and a better human being also. Sending you gratitude and good wishes!
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Mr Virgo certainly has a exceptional view! You picked a lovely spot! Though, Ginny, please forget the landscape “fabric” which is just extruded and pressed plastic.
It won’t keep weeds from growing because seed blows in and grows anyway, above the level of the fabric. The plastic will break down quickly in Colorado’s dry air, and it will fragment and become ‘microplastics’ that kills wild birds, like Condors and Eagles (young eat the bits before they know what ‘Food’ is). A good topdressing of gravel will do just as well, and won’t add any ecological burden to the soil strata. Thanks, Ginny. I know you have a big apace in your heart for wild things.
Thank you, Sue!!! Good to know. ❤️
I really like this post as I too straddle the line. Everything within me cries out to run away and yet I know I will long for this time with my husband later. Lines are difficult and the in between is also painful.
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