I know how blessed I am to still have time at The Farm. It’s old. The pump on the well isn’t working now. The floor isn’t level and there is evidence of carpenter ants here and there. But no matter what else is going on in my world, when I walk in that back door…it smells exactly as it has since I was brought here the very first time. And that’s been quite a while ago.

It smells like old wood. It’s dank and dusty but I run two dehumidifiers to try to keep her old bones dry. And even though I cannot actually smell the red furniture polish Grandma used to use on the wood, my mind tells me this is what it smelled like. I keep gallons of fresh water on hand for heating up to do the dishes. Beans has some big containers of water in the bathroom to use to flush the toilet, but I use my tinkle tank from my camping gear. It works fine.

I remember when there wasn’t running water here. There may have been a water tank on the side of the house that caught rainwater. That’s what Grandma did the wash with. She heated it up for baths in the galvanized tub that she placed in the middle of the kitchen floor. She used to turn on the gas cook stove to warm up the kitchen so we wouldn’t catch a chill. We had indoor plumbing at home of course. But stepping back in time at Grandma’s house spoke to something primal in me. It was simple and pure and good. It was hard work and sweat and a feeling of accomplishment.

Sitting on the front porch during a rainstorm yesterday afternoon was better than a dose of medicine for an ache I’ve felt ever since my grandma died. Listening to the wood thrush’s song echoing down the holler. Watching the Eastern Wood PeeWee and the Eastern Phoebe pick the elderberries. Catching sight of a rabbit underneath Grandma’s Rose of Sharon. Picking seed pods from the 4 O’Clocks alongside the house. Rocking gently as the hot and humid day fades into the glorious coolness of the Golden Hour.

My children don’t get it. This was just a place to visit for them. A place to tolerate Mom’s obsession for a week or two before heading back to what they defined as civilization. I had the chance to move back here with Daughter #1 when she was about three years old. Instead, I elected to stay in Colorado for two reasons. The first was, Colorado had more educational opportunities than West Virginia did. And the second was, I was self aware enough to know that If I went back when Hubby #1 went, I’d end up back with him and I couldn’t see a positive future with him. So, I stayed out West…hoping one day to return to the home of my heart.

Sitting on this front porch, married to my best buddy from high school, and knowing my girls are happy where they are?

Priceless.

?

“My people will live in peaceful dwelling places, in secure homes, in undisturbed places of rest. Though hail flattens the forest and the city is leveled completely, how blessed you will be, sowing your seed by every stream, and letting your cattle and donkeys range free.”

Isaiah 32:18-20 NIV