Some days it doesn’t pay to get out of bed. That’s how yesterday felt. I woke up with a start. Everything was quiet. The blush of dawn had just begun to lighten the world. I felt unsettled and terribly sad. It took me a few minutes to discern what was wrong. Then I remembered the dream I was having just before I opened my eyes.
I hadn’t seen Mr. Virgo in several years. I didn’t know where he went or why I couldn’t find him. Then I heard that someone had seen him in Aspen recently. I couldn’t figure out why he was there and not with me. So I drove up to find him and when I did, he didn’t want to have anything to do with me. My heart was broken but he made it clear we were through and to never come looking for him again. The next scene I was standing in a barn. The sunbeams from the slats in the wood held swirling dust motes in their grasp like the water in an eddy. There were two large shapes hanging from the rafters. They were covered in a thin veil that connected them. I stood in the gloom, silently cutting the membrane between the two as my tears dripped to the dirt floor.
This isn’t the first time I’ve had this dream and it always leaves me bereft. It just goes to show you, it’s been nearly twelve years since Mr. Virgo died and grief still smacks me right between the eyes sometimes.
I shook it off and headed into my day. I went on a walkabout and found a bunch of turkey feathers. The long tail feather is the largest one I’ve ever found. There were smaller feathers down by the creek. I’m hoping nothing got into my mama and babies I’ve been watching since spring.
Lots of wildflowers are still growing down in the pollinator gardens. Pumpkin went on the walk with me. She’s like a dog in that way. Mr. FixIt took my truck in to get the oil changed and the tires rotated while I went to knitting group. In the afternoon, he started a load of laundry and soon came back up to tell me the washer had bit the berry and wasn’t spinning. About that time, he headed to to put the cat up. He came back in and something was wrong with pumpkin. It looks like she may have a UTI so now I need to take her to the vet today. Poor thing. We’ll get her feeling better. In the meantime, I gathered up all the wet laundry and took it out to the farm (at 11:00 last night) to spin it and stick it in the dryer. Having access to this farm is such a blessing. Since it was so late, I just stayed overnight.
That was my reward for such a trying day.
“The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.”
Psalm 18:2 ESV