The View out Grandma’s Window
Before I say anything else, I want to thank you all for your wonderful, supportive comments yesterday about my dilemma and what I should do with my brother as he ages. Your words meant so much to me it brought tears to my eyes. I know others who have blogs and I swear…I can’t imagine they have readers as kind and supportive as you all! Thank you from the bottom of my heart…you really made me feel better.
I stayed that extra night at the farm so I could hear the rain on the tin roof. It goes right through me to the depths of my spirit and soothes me. I fiddled around for a while yesterday morning then finally got things put together and headed home. We have had some beautiful sunny days the last week or two. I didn’t get home till 2:00…too late to start painting. We did get a few chores done. We took the big ceiling vent out where the old whole house exhaust fan lives. Mr. FixIt wanted to paint it. It was quite the chore for the two of us, but it wasn’t heavy…just awkward. Of course, now we have a huge gaping hole up to the attic and I’m praying there aren’t any critters up there that want to make their presence known!
It’s supposed to get up to nearly 70° today! It’ll be a lovely day to start painting because we can open the windows. Hopefully we can knock this job out in a relatively short time because I have lots of work to do on this project and I need to get back to the wedding quilt in a hurry. June will be here before we know it!
We are coming up to the tenth anniversary of Mr. Virgo’s death soon. I never dreamed I’d survive that, let alone make it ten years! There’s something I’ve put off all these ten years and I cannot put it off any longer. I’ve never put a monument on Mr. Virgo’s grave. I know, it’s shameful. But it was all so…final. It’s the “last thing” and I just didn’t want to face it. I pushed it to the back burner, but it just seems right to do it now. The trouble is, I can’t put my finger on some of the paperwork, so it’s something else that’s been added to the very long list of things I’m working on. At least it’s in the process now.
This is another one of those things I’m telling myself not to feel guilty about. Everyone’s grief is different and there isn’t a set schedule for when these things have to be completed. Did any of you put those kinds of things off?
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““Is there anyone here who, planning to build a new house, doesn’t first sit down and figure the cost so you’ll know if you can complete it? If you only get the foundation laid and then run out of money, you’re going to look pretty foolish. Everyone passing by will poke fun at you: ‘He started something he couldn’t finish.’”
Luke 14:28-30 MSG
Well no…I had actually wanted our monument put down before my husbands death but things got too crazy with his dementia plus he was entitled to the VA monument so I couldn’t get that before his death. Less than a week after his funeral I ordered it. Of course my dilemma was deciding on whether to order & pay for a double monument/headstone & use the free VA stone for his foot stone or just get his free one with one to match for me to all be placed on one piece of granite. The solid granite monuments are not allowed in this cemetery. The funeral home talked me into doing the one piece of granite with vase in the middle & the two separate bronze “name plates” which saved a few dollars. They were made & shipped from 2 different companies…when I saw mine I was not happy with how they had placed the lettering! If they’d both been done at same company it would’ve been done right…SO, I complained to the owner of Funeral Home & he’s having it done over. I’ve known him & his dad since they moved to this area years ago…& worked some to help them out occasionally. His dad passed away this past year also. Now I’m waiting for mine to be returned & for all of it to be put down. I’ve always said that I didn’t want a vase on mine because I know there’ll be no flowers in it but with choosing this layout it had to have the vase. I’ve told my daughter in law to turn the vase over when I’m dead & gone. It’s so sad to me to see empty vases or vases with old raggedy flowers.
This is my story! Ha!
There have been times when I was tempted. I was going to do a double, but I was only 59. Something in the back of my mind said to wait. And wait, I’ve done. It’s time now. Thank you for sharing your story, dear one! ?
This what I did or haven’t finished. My in laws had a large plot where they put a beautiful bench with a large lid that opens. They did this almost 30 yrs ago. Both my brother in laws have 2 flat stones at the head of the bench that the VA did when they passed. I also did a flat stone next to his brothers for my husband. I had the head stone company put the dates of death for my in laws on the back side. My intention was to have the ashes of my in laws and husband put in the bench but I have never gotten to it. It’s the final thing and I wish I would of done this-this past summer so my daughter and son could be there. Unfortunately my daughter will never be able to see it done. Maybe this summer or fall TJ and I can put them all in there.
Sending love to you all, dear one. ❤️?