I had one of the most amazing experiences yesterday…and in the days leading up to it. We’ve talked here a lot about anxiety and PTSD. I cannot remember a time since Mr. Virgo died that I didn’t experience incredible, sometimes debilitating anxiety before any medical event. When I was here in the big city to get my 4D CT Scan on October 14th, I spent the night before in the hotel room throwing up from anxiety. This time was completely different.

I started studying some really good devotionals on anxiety and how to get the upper hand and not let it be the boss. I studied sub-personalities and how they affect worry and stress and the combination of the two…anxiety. I’m a firm believer that knowledge is power in that it can alleviate some of the “unknown” in a situation. But, what really made the difference was pulling out the Big Guns.

I prayed. You prayed. Everyone I knew to ask prayed. For success. For peace. For calm up to and through the procedure. I spent two days in my camper, pleading with God to show me how to let go of fear and anxiety and the answer He gave me was so simple. “Give it to me.” So, here’s what I did.

The night before the procedure, I wore my Bluetooth noise cancelling headphones that I wear when I mow. I connected them to my iPad and listened to the soundtrack I always use when I write…a crackling campfire in a thunderstorm. I closed my eyes and let the sound transport me to a beautiful campground in the woods, on top of a mountain. You know how I ask Jesus to go for a walk with me? Well, this time I asked him to go camping with me. 

We sat around the campfire…sometimes chatting, sometimes still. Every time I had a thought that might send me down the rabbit hole, I tossed it over to Jesus. He caught it deftly with one hand and tossed it in the fire where we would watch the sudden burst of sparks fly up into the night sky. Then…we’d laugh and laugh at how silly those thoughts were. How insignificant, really…in the grand scheme of things. Because, if you think about it…they are thoughts. Thoughts cannot kill you on their own. This was an incredibly powerful visualization and I felt ZERO anxiety leading up to, and even laying on the table having the procedure.

I was awake…sort of. I knew everything that was going on. I had to be awake enough to follow directions like “Hold your breath” and “Turn your head.” I could feel the catheter in the veins in my chest and neck. Sometimes it tickled. Sometimes it sounded like little bubbles. It was fascinating. They made a small incision in my upper thigh and threaded the catheter through there. Then they threaded it to different veins in my upper chest and neck. 

Picture a large creek. Upstream, there are a lot of tributaries. What we want to do is walk up each tributary, throw a line in the water, and see if we can catch a fish. But not just any fish. We want the big kahoona. What the catheter did was stick its nose in the mouth of each “creek” to try to sniff out where the big fish is camping. What the doctor wants to see is a BIG number in one of the tributaries. That indicates there’s a bad gland up that stream. They take an outline of the heart and the twelve veins they took the samples from and write the numbers on the corresponding vein on the drawing. Then, the surgeon can see which vein is dumping buckets of parathyroid hormone. He can follow that vein and, ostensibly, hit the mother lode and get that bad boy out of there!

I cannot make heads nor tails of the numbers, however…I know we are looking for one BIG one. And there was…ONE big one! So, now I’m praying that means they can find the offending gland, take it out, and cure me of this disease that has been robbing so much of my joy the last four years.

The doctor came in after the procedure and remarked how incredibly calm I was. When I saw him in consult…I was a nervous Nelly. I asked him if he wanted to know my secret. He did. So I told him about camping with Jesus. He listened intently. We finished up and as he left the room, he told me what a pleasure it was to work with me and Mr. FixIt. Then, he looked back around and thanked me for telling him about the visualization I used. He said he was going to try it himself. I love that!

You never know whose life you are going to touch and under what circumstance. Just know that I am so incredibly grateful to have yet another opportunity to tell you how Jesus works in my life. He amazes me…every time!

And, here it is…the last day of 2021. Much like the second year after the loss of a loved one, 2021 was harder than 2020. We kinda went into the pandemic thinking we’d knock this out of the park in two or three months…maybe a little more. We couldn’t have believed at the time that it would just get worse…and worse. But there were gems in the flames, as there always are. Science brought us a vaccine and medicines to help. There have been many, many good things that occurred mixed in with the bad. We just have to look for and focus on them. And do our best to ease the burden of the medical community. The gal who checked me in yesterday said she had already had four front desk employees call in sick.

“Omicron is no joke” she said.

Here’s to a Happy, HEALTHY New Year for us all! Might I just caution you to open the door slowly and peak in? Don’t threaten 2022 with a haughty attitude of “Bring it on!” Let’s just tip toe in quietly and try not to wake it up or tick it off too bad…ok? Thanks!

See ya next year!!!

❄️

“Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.”

Mark 11:24 ESV