I have spoken with thousands of bereaved people in the last six plus years. I have heard story after story of loss and how their grief affects them. I have learned to keep healthy boundaries so that I don’t internalize the stories and let it affect my well being. This is something I learned in the beginning of my medical career and it’s a valuable tool. 

We all experience loss and grief in our lives. It seems to me, the older I get, the more of it there is to deal with. Just after I graduated from high school, I had my first experience with death. My Pop-Pop died of a heart attack when he was 72. The next year, a couple of friends from high school died together from carbon monoxide poisoning. News would come here and there…a neighbor passed, the daughter of a friend, an accident here, old age there. 

Losing my mom was really hard as it was fairly sudden and, well…it was my MOM. My dad died four years later but the impact wasn’t as great because we never had a close relationship. Then…Mr. Virgo died and death changed its timbre. Death hit close and it hit hard and it hit home. I remember feeling…broken.

And now, there are people who are close to me who are suffering terrible, tragic things and I feel as helpless as anyone else. I want to help them. I want to hold them and say magic words that make it better. And I know…there ARE no magic words. The only thing I can do is touch base with them. Pray for them. Perhaps send them gift cards for things like gas or a meal. Uber Eats and other food delivery services can help a lot in times like this.

If you are supporting someone whose world has been shattered by tragedy, there is one thing you have to remember to do and that’s take care of yourself. You can’t help anyone if you suffer your own burnout. It may seem selfish when people you love are in pain and you’re thinking of yourself. But believe me, it’s vitally important to practice self care.

With that in mind, I seriously wanted to sleep in my camper last night but for a number of reasons, I couldn’t. I’m going to make a concerted effort to get out there tonight and have some TOW-Wanda Time. That is where I physically find the most peace and rest. And…it’s where I spend an awful lot of quality quiet time with Jesus so trailer time is good for me.

I took the truck to the Ford dealer yesterday and spent about three hours working on my camping itinerary for the upcoming trip. I made some reservations. I also found the kind of trip planner I’ve been looking for on the Good Sams page. There are lots of planners out there, but I was looking for one that lets me add and change stops and look for camping spots at the the same time. There are a lot of things to juggle with this trip. 

I’m trying to focus on West Virginia while it is still warm enough to camp here. When it gets colder, I’ll follow the colors south. I found a map online that predicts when the colors will be at their peak in different areas. I think that will be helpful in my planning. The truck is in tip top shape. It has new tires. The mechanic said the brakes are barely worn and there are no leaks…the underside is really clean.

Now I need to go through the items I brought back from Colorado that were in my camper so I can figure out what I need to take and what can be put away. I leave two weeks from today. With all that’s going on with my loved ones, it’s hard to get excited about the trip. But, as one of my dearest friends told me earlier this week, my stories will be a distraction for her as she goes through her valley. I do hope they help.

❤️

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”

Matthew 11:28 NIV