There was a time when I was clinically depressed and I took antidepressants for about ten years which was the last half of a twenty year marriage. I wish I could say it was ALL my ex’s fault but we both know that’s rarely the case. That being said, once I got over the initial pain of the divorce, I didn’t need antidepressants anymore so that speaks volumes about the marriage itself. Given that history, if there was ever going to be a time that I needed drugs to help me cope, it would have been since losing Mr. Virgo. But I haven’t. Because I had a history of depression and had gained coping skills through therapy, I have not needed antidepressants during my grief, which has actually kind of surprised me.

As you could probably tell, I woke up low yesterday and I so appreciate your love and support. I read your posts and chatted with a friend of mine who is a ten year widow. Another friend sent me a funny video that was a parody of a “Tiny Home” that sent me into fits of laughter and I instantly felt better. I talked to a friend that always makes me laugh. I took a nap while the rain was falling on the roof of my camper. I went out to dinner and ate crab legs till I was stuffed. I got to talk to all my girls. I talked to more friends who made me laugh. And, I found a place to dump my trash!

Sometimes the wide swings between misery and relief are alarming. It is the nature of grief and as long as the general trend has you moving forward and your good days start to outweigh the bad, then you’re heading in the right direction. All in all…it turned out to be a really beautiful day. The key theme was laughter…and these really cool red and yellow boots. It’s all about the boots!

❤

“Even in laughter the heart may ache, and rejoicing may end in grief.”

Proverbs 14:13