Today is my “Re-Birthday”. Today is the day I celebrate not dying. Fifteen years ago today, I was at the lowest point of my life. I was in a marriage that was crumbling at my feet, I was depressed and desperately unhappy. I had been on a medical treadmill for seven years taking ungodly amounts of prescription medications and was self-medicating with alcohol to dull the emotional torment. While not necessarily intentional, I overdosed on January 6, 2000 and could have very easily died. I climbed back up from the bottom of the barrel and rebuilt myself and my life. It was not easy, it was not pretty, but it was very real and absolutely necessary in order to survive and thrive. I am extremely grateful for every day I am given and thank God for the blessings He affords me daily.
I’ve been trying to decide how to commemorate the day and came up with a beautiful idea. I have a lock of Mr. Virgo’s hair. I was out at the farm yesterday to pick up a couple of tubs of photos to scan and got my little red leather box from the locker in TOW-Wanda. I sat on the bed and slowly, carefully opened the blue velvet packet with that precious lock of spun silver that I used to run my fingers through. I’ve held the bag before, but only once have I touched it and that’s when I left a bit in the wilderness of Colorado. I said a prayer and asked God to let me feel my love for a moment. I opened the bag and held that thick, coarse hair between my fingers and my heart leapt with joy. I closed my eyes and could feel my sweetheart with me and it made me smile. I sat that way for quite awhile then carefully tucked him back in the bag. I placed the blue velvet bag back in the red leather box and brought it with me. I had a plan.
On my way to the greater metropolis of Harrisville (pop. 1802), I stopped at the family plot in the cemetery on the hill where I get my messages (cell service is tricky in the boonies!). There, I knelt down, dug a hole, and carefully placed a small portion of Mr. Virgo’s silver hair…right between where my Uncle Bob is buried and the site where my brother will lay someday. I covered it up, said a prayer, and to mark the site, I placed a plastic fork. Being the consummate foodie, I know Mr. Virgo would love the reference. So now I have a place where I can visit him here in WV. It’s more fitting than the farm as I have had to release that place from my heart in a way that didn’t welcome this monument. No…he rests safely now. In his grave, in the wilderness, nestled amongst loved ones, in my precious red leather box, in my heart…but most importantly, with God.
Yes, today is my re-birthday. A day I will always remember as the day God didn’t let me leave. What a beautiful life He has given me!
❤