Another photo from my tacked on, 4 extra day, camping trip last week. Isn’t this soothing? I sat here for hours and contemplated that red canoe. Oh, what I could do with a red canoe! I would take it out on beautiful, clear mountain lakes, drop a line, read a book, take a snooze, get a few good snapshots of wildlife, perhaps. These trips are just what I need right now. I’m not getting anything done at the house. I don’t like being in my house. Mr. Virgo isn’t in my house anymore. It’s like it’s not even my house. Like it’s crying. Like it has somehow misplaced a part of itself and it can’t figure out what to do next. No, wait, that’s me. I’m ok, really. It’s just that, right now, I don’t like my house. And for now, that’s ok, too.
Last Saturday, I decided to clean out Mr. Virgo’s closet. My son-in-law can use some of the things and my daughter works at a poor, inner-city school and she will find someone who can use the rest. That’s good. These things should go to someone who can use them. But I forgot something very important. I forgot Sunday was Father’s Day. I woke up, grabbed my iPad to check the news, e-mail, weather, and Facebook to see what the world was up to. And there they were…well wishes to all the Dads out there. And I was sitting there, no sweetheart to wish Happy Father’s Day to, and to add insult to injury, his clothes were in bags on the floor surrounding what used to be OUR bed. I sat there and contemplated that. I decided I really didn’t need to be sitting there, looking at what was left of his snappy wardrobe, and perhaps start to feel sorry for myself. This just wouldn’t do. This is what I bought a travel trailer for. I keep it packed and at the ready for emergencies such as this. I went away, I fished, I read, I napped, I drove, I hiked, I cooked, and then I came home. And now I am ready to take another bite out of this apple!
You had so much gumption, even then! I was just trying to get out of the house then. Getting out of bed was easy, ’cause I couldn’t sleep past about 4 am. I was so afraid, then. Still am but of different things now, lol Hugs!♥
I don’t remember really being scared. I remember being crushed and sad and lonely and angry….a zillion different emotions. Maybe I was scared…but my brain was so scrambled back then. I think my primary feeling was determination. Everyone experiences grief differently. ❤️