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I finally got it together to bake some bread yesterday afternoon. I bought that Magic Chef Countertop Convection Oven last week and as it turns out… It’s really a first-generation air fryer. None of my pans would fit in it, so I tried my Ninja Foodi 10-in-1. It was at least big enough around to use my smallest glass pie pan. I mixed up my dough… not following any recipe, for sure. The resulting dough wasn’t my best, and I knew that even if I baked it in the oven, it wouldn’t be a great loaf. It rose to a moderate height. I preheated the Ninja, placed the plate of dough in, and hoped for the best.

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After a while, I could smell bread baking. I was hopeful, but I didn’t want to open the lid and let the heat out, so I waited the requisite time. When the timer went off, I opened it up and was surprised I had a loaf of baked bread. It was about the thickness of a tall apple pie and much the same color. I let it cool a bit, and I cut it in half. I know, you aren’t supposed to cut bread when it’s warm. Bread continues to bake internally after removing it from the oven. If you cut it open, it won’t finish baking, and you can end up with gummy bread.

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I was surprised. The crumb looked nice. I cut a slice and slathered it with butter. It was quite good! I wouldn’t call it a successful loaf, but it was edible. What it means is… air fryers are not the best appliance for baking bread. I’ll keep looking for an affordable bread machine and/or a countertop oven that will handle one or two loaves of bread.

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We finally caved and turned the air conditioner on yesterday. It was 87℉ in the house, and that’s before the afternoon sun hit the red brick on the west side of the house. The AC brought the temperature down to a “pleasant” range, and we sighed with contentment. Still, I wasn’t about to cook anything. I made some chicken salad sandwiches, chips, and sweet heat pickles and called it a day.

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When it finally cooled down a bit at 8:00, we went out to clean and sweep the pool. My photo memories showed me sitting by a sparkling clean pool this time last year. I’m hoping it will be ready soon! I’ll miss the pool the whole month of July. At least the littles can come to play, and I’ll see them when I get back.

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💜

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For my days pass away like smoke, and my bones burn like a furnace.  Psalm 102:3 ESV

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***Gratitude Journal***   Today, I am grateful for the chance to take a dip in the pool. And to have an air conditioner to turn on.
\n\n", "date_published": "2025-06-23T04:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2025/06/23/my-experiment-failed.html", "tags": ["Comfort","Baking","In the Kitchen","Country Life"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2025/06/19/life-in-the-slow-lane.html", "title": "Life in the Slow Lane", "content_html": "\n
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Just a photo dump for this evening. We’ve had quite a day. We're almost ready to open the pool (we’re running a bit behind schedule this year due to the excessive rain). Then the motor on the pump crapped out. We lost one of our dear friends and classmates yesterday morning. She was the pastor who officiated our wedding. Yesterday was hot, sticky, and the humidity in the house was 98% here in West Virginia! Trying desperately to keep the house cool by not cooking more than I possibly have to. I have to figure out how to bake our bread without heating the house up. I’ll be back tomorrow with a proper post! If you are reading this, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I’m just here to share what’s happening in our day-to-day lives on our tiny homestead!

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Those of you who have been following me for some time are aware of my strong attachment to my grandma’s farm. It’s the home of my heart. Every squeak of the wood floor, every creak as the house settles for the night…even the smell of old varnished wood reminds me I’m home. Grandma’s been gone since ’99, my mom since ’04, and my Uncle Bob since ’08. Finally, the time came to sell the old place. Fortunately, I became friends with the new owners. They know what the place means to me, so in exchange for mowing the yard, I get to stay here whenever I want.

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The old place is fading. The near jungle-like woods are encroaching, closing in on the house till it’s barely visible from the road anymore. The barn is leaning toward the peach orchard. The old John Deere isn’t working anymore, so I haven’t been able to mow. They’re in the process of getting us another riding mower, but until then, I haven’t been here much. The nurturing feelings I once experienced walking in the back door aren’t as strong these days. It kinda makes me sad, but at the same time, I know it’s got to end sometime. I’m not quite ready, but I’m feeling a change on the horizon. I know it will be ok if I can’t come here anymore. I’ll survive. Till then, I take advantage of the good times when I can.

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I’ve been baking our bread for the last six or seven months, and I had a hankering for sourdough. I told you about the fiasco I had the other day and ended up with a gallon and a half of ripe starter! Hokey Smokes! I decided to dehydrate some to sell, and that still left me with a gallon. I decided to make some sourdough. I didn’t really follow a recipe. I’m getting a feel for the flour, the dough, and the techniques for different types of bread, and it’s becoming instinctual. I loaded up the dehydrator, then stirred up enough sourdough to make two loaves.

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I retarded the bulk fermentation by setting the container with the dough in the fridge for the night. This helps develop the tangy flavor sourdough is known for. When it came time to shape the loaves and prepare for baking, the house was already hot. Poor Mr. FixIt was melting as it was, and I didn’t have the heart to fire up the oven to 500℉. I packed a few things, shaped the loaves, put them in the bread pans, and headed to the farm to bake them here. No matter what the daytime temp is here, when the sun goes down over the far hill, it gets nice and cool.

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I pulled the bread out around 6:00 last evening and could hardly wait for it to cool enough to cut a slice, slather it with butter, and spread on some of Mrs. FixIt 1.0’s apricot jam. I gave her some homemade donuts for that, and it was a good trade. I sat here, eating my jelly bread, feeling the warm hug of my family passed. It’s put a smile on my face. I’m only staying the one night…for now. We‘re having a belated Father’s Day celebration with Mr. FixIt Junior and his family tonight. So, I’ll head home in the afternoon in time to get ready.

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🔆

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Jesus said to them, “I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst.   John 6:35 ESV

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***Gratitude Journal***   Today, I am grateful for the opportunity to still come and “visit my family” at the old homeplace.
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When I was a little girl, I used to lie down on the ground and watch the many shapes that appeared in the clouds above me. Sometimes I peeked through the branches of the tulip poplar my dad planted smack dab in the middle of the yard and imagined fairies and dragons, puppies and buttercups, little girls having a tea party. I wondered if God sat with them, smiling at the innocence of youth. I didn’t know a lot about innocence after the age of seven or eight. That was the summer the boy at the end of the alley trapped me in the garage and molested me. From then on, I found escape in the clouds.

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I’ve always been drawn by the colors of the sky when day transitions to night. I imagined God as the great big cowboy in the sky who lassoed my anger, my pain, my shame, and drew it up to great heights only to toss it in the flames of the sunset so I could be free. So that, even in my young embarrassment, I somehow knew I wasn’t to blame because God brought the flames back so often. Even when the sky is overcast, I know for a fact there is a beautiful sunset behind those clouds…like a secret shared between friends.

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The most beautiful sunsets I’ve witnessed were at the beach where the fire kissed the sea. Still to this day, I like to send all my frustrations, aches and pains, hurt, and anger off to God in the heavens to burn like kindling, bringing me peace. I sleep well after those sunsets…free of any darkness that threatens my qi.

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I don’t pay much attention to the shapes in the clouds these days. I’m more in awe of the brilliant paintings our Creator shares with us. Last night, as I was typing this, I heard Mr. FixIt go out the back door and exclaim, “Whoa! Ginny, come out here and see this!” I padded out in my bare feet, letting the grass tickle my toes and the warmth of the sod send the Earth’s energy through me like a fountain.

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He was right — it was a glorious sunset. We both snapped several pictures on our iPhones, and the last one made me smile. “Someone” was watching me out of those clouds. The first person I thought of was Mr. Virgo, checking in on me…riding on sunbeams to touch my heart. Even though he’s been gone twelve years now, and I’m happily remarried to a wonderful man that he would surely approve of…he is never far away, even when he’s riding in the clouds with Jesus.

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💜

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He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. 147:3

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***Gratitude Journal***   Today, I am grateful that God brings me the remembrance of loved ones passed and heals my heart with a sunset.
\n\n", "date_published": "2025-06-10T04:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2025/06/10/the-face-in-the-clouds.html", "tags": ["Faith","Comfort","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2025/06/09/lessons-in-imperfection.html", "title": "Lessons in Imperfection", "content_html": "\n
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I’m a perfectionist to the point that I sometimes don’t attempt something if I think it’ll be a flop. I don’t like failure or feeling “less than.” It stems from a lifetime of trying to earn my dad’s love and approval. I couldn’t do much right in his eyes, and I felt rejected. Therefore, most of my life was spent trying to gain my father’s acceptance by being a perfectionist and overachiever in relationships. You know the type…the wife who makes excuses like “He’s just overworked.” Or, “He didn’t really mean it.” All while trying to bend myself like a pretzel to become who I thought I needed to be to receive love. 

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I discussed this with a psychiatrist back in the ‘90s. He listened carefully then, sitting back in his chair, he asked, “What does Ginny want?” I was confused by the question because I really had no idea WHO Ginny was, let alone what I wanted. Towards the end of my therapy, he looked at me pensively. 

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“You know…no matter how many relationships you have or how perfect you try to be or how twisted you bend to be what someone else thinks you should be, you’re never going to get your dad’s love.”

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Wow. That stung.

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He was right, of course. Until I learned how to just be myself, to truly accept who I am, and then be that person…I would just continue to go through men like shoes. This was when my second marriage was failing. I’d love to say I took that advice to heart in my next marriage, but I didn’t make much progress on that before I married Mr. Virgo. He was SO handsome and I was still stinging after the divorce, my self-esteem was in the toilet. I wasn’t genuinely present in that marriage either, although it was a far sight better than the first two. I felt like I was making progress with my “daddy issues” when he died unexpectedly just before our sixth wedding anniversary.

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In the years following that loss, I threw myself into a strong period of personal growth. It wasn’t till I decided I was perfectly imperfect just the way I am that I let go of all that garbage I’d been dragging behind me all those years. Was it aging? Probably. Was it the years of therapy? It could be because I had a LOT of it. Was it because I was just so darned tired of trying to juggle the facade that I decided being alone wouldn’t kill me? Oh, most assuredly. However, the single most important difference was finding Jesus and putting Him front and center.

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Then, I ran into Mr. FixIt. My dear friend from high school. We were besties…never sweethearts. He was the guy who listened to all the girls’ boyfriend problems. He’s a good guy. He’s patient to the nth degree. He’s fun and funny and loves me completely. And the feelings are very, very mutual. I don’t have to be perfect. I am sure HE has imperfections; I just choose not to focus on them. He does the same with me. It’s the first time in my life that I haven’t had to fit into someone else’s expectations, and it’s a refreshing way to live.

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There are lessons in imperfection which allow us to break free of the bonds that have held us prisoner…sometimes for decades. I wish I could have had this enlightenment in my 30’s and 40’s but that wasn’t God’s plan. Mr. FixIt and I would not have this kind of relationship if it had happened earlier in our lives. We needed to have some of the hard edges knocked off in order to be the people God wanted us to be. And only then did He lead us toward each other.

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💜

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“Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness?” 2 Corinthians‬ ‭6‬:‭14‬ ‭NLT‬‬

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***Gratitude Journal*** Today, I am grateful Mr. FixIt and I were brought together at the perfect time in our lives. I thank God everyday for him.
\n\n", "date_published": "2025-06-09T04:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2025/06/09/lessons-in-imperfection.html", "tags": ["Comfort","Aging","Change","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2025/04/07/learn-to-dance-in-the.html", "title": "Learn to Dance in the Rain", "content_html": "\n
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”Learn to Dance in the Rain” - AI by Ginny McKinney with Meta AI

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Darlings…what a weekend! It has rained about 4.5” since Friday. The ground is so wet that when you walk across the yard, it’s like a bog. Squish…Squish…Squish. There is so much water in the pool, it’s pouring out the overflow. The creeks are roaring. But there’s no water coming into the basement. Ever since we started putting the root killer down the storm drain, it hasn’t overflowed. It came close Saturday night, but we put the crystals in and within twenty-four hours the water level was down two inches. We just have to be vigilant and use it regularly.

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The water in the drain is not the only thing going down. I made the awful mistake of looking at my retirement fund last night. Here’s a helpful tip…DO NOT DO THAT! At first my heart sank. Knowing it is likely to fall more today is disconcerting. As hard as that is to take, I know God has always taken care of us and we are more precious than the birds in the fields. I know it’s hard not to worry, it really is. But last night, I just sat with God and told Him I put my life in His hands twenty-one years ago. I’m not backing out when the going gets tough.

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Like most people, we are looking at more ways to cut our expenses. I think satellite is out. We’ll soon have fiber optic internet here. Once that is installed, we can drop the DSL line and stream what we can get online. I’ve cut out extra spending. We only buy what is necessary these days. I know we are taking this trip to the beach, but it’s already paid for as is my flight to Colorado this summer.

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It is a good thing we don’t eat much meat anymore. We are going to make some raised beds for greens to add to our diet. I bake all of our bread. We don’t eat much dairy but I do keep powdered milk and canned evaporated milk in the pantry. I grew up making do with what we had. Yes…I have been terribly “advantaged” in my adult life. But, I’ve been studying and practicing homesteading and survival skills for a very long time.

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We are heading into lean times, I’m afraid. And I’m not telling you all of this to worry you or scare you. I look at paring down to the bare essentials as more like a game to see how little we need to get by.

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Happiness is most often mind over matter.

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If you don’t mind…it don’t matter.

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Do what you can with what you have.

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Use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without.

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Start small.

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Slow and steady wins the race.

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Pray about it. Pray over it. Pray through it.

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And remember…the pendulum always swings back.

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🩵🌷🙏🏼🌷🩵

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““Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” ‭‭Matthew‬ ‭6‬:‭19‬-‭21‬ ‭ESV‬‬

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Gratitude Journal 
Today I am grateful for my humble upbringing with a grandma who taught me how to make do. I am grateful that I have a Heavenly Father who wants us to prosper and who will take care of us.
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Mr. FixIt and I enjoyed each other’s company yesterday. I made a nice breakfast of grits and eggs…one of our favorites. I’m happy to see the price of eggs is easing up a bit. I buy them by the case with 7.5 dozen in it. I know it’s a lot, but I don’t have to buy more for a month or so. We use a lot of eggs. We eat them just about every day and I bake with them a lot. 

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When my sweetheart left for the bowling alley, I headed to the kitchen to bake some homemade pop tarts. They are super easy with a simple, tender, and delectable crust with jam sandwiched in between. I used up the last of the Caramel Apple Jam that my friend Loretta gave me for Christmas. 

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I was happily mixing up a double batch of Betty Crocker’s Oil Crust and I thought the dough looked a little funny but I pressed on. I rolled the dough out between two sheets of plastic wrap, trimmed the sides to grease a rectangle then proceeded to cut each rectangle into eight smaller rectangles. I lined cookie sheets with parchment paper, placed a small rectangle of crust on it and spread a heaping teaspoon of the jam on it being careful to keep the edges clean. I placed another small rectangle of crust on top and sealed the edges down with a fork. I finished by poking holes in the top crust to let out any steam to further help keep the jam from leaking out the edges.

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I love to keep the light on in the oven and check what’s baking. It’s very satisfying. I waited about five or ten minutes and checked the pop tarts and I was a bit confused. They were really puffy. That’s when it dawned on me. I checked the flour jar and sure enough, I used self-rising flour! Sometimes a mistake turns into a happy accident. Such was the case with these little delicate treats. They were so light and had a wonderful tooth. I would exactly call the pastry flaky, but it was really tasty. I might just try this “mistake” again next time I bake a pie or tarts.

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It rained off and on all evening and I love that. I especially love sleeping in the camper when it’s raining. The sound of the raindrops on the roof is soothing. I played on the computer for a while looking at Google Earth. There is a feature now where you can look at a particular spot and see the changes through the years. I looked up The Farm, my Mom’s old house, my house in Colorado, and our house here in WV. It was fun seeing the changes taking place from one year to another. I took a screenshot of “Marshmallow Ranch” to give you an idea of the size of our fields. This is what I mow. I’ve slowly been adding a couple of pollinator gardens each year so I mow less and less as time goes on. I have to wean myself off keeping this place looking like a golf course.

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I hope you had a good weekend. We’ll be heading to Athens today to meet friends for brunch. I’ll give you a review of the restaurant tomorrow!

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💚

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““When you bring a grain offering baked in the oven as an offering, it shall be unleavened loaves of fine flour mixed with oil or unleavened wafers smeared with oil. And if your offering is a grain offering baked on a griddle, it shall be of fine flour unleavened, mixed with oil.” ‭‭Leviticus‬ ‭2‬:‭4‬-‭5‬ ‭ESV‬‬

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***Gratitude Journal***   
Today I am grateful for the opportunity to visit with my dear friend and neighbor from long ago when we lived in England. You can make new friends…but you can’t make old friends. They are to be cherished like silver and gold.
\n\n", "date_published": "2025-03-24T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2025/03/24/a-quiet-sunday.html", "tags": ["Comfort","Farm Life","Baking","In the Kitchen"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2025/03/18/noshing-with-the-monday-stitchers.html", "title": "Noshing With the Monday Stitchers", "content_html": "\n
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I really look forward to our stitching group on Monday Mornings, although…if it were my choice, we’d meet at a more civilized time than 9:00AM on a Monday Morning. But, beggars can’t be chooser and this forces me to get up and do something productive. I’ve been crocheting lately…making baskets for the girls for Christmas gifts.

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I took some Sourdough Cinnamon Rolls with me for snacks yesterday and they were a big hit. I was going to take homemade pop tarts this week, but since I baked all day yesterday and cleaned the kitchen forty-two times, I decided I’ll take them next week. I kind of stumbled upon them by accident and now, I can’t wait to make more. I’ve decided I can make one sweet treat a week. We don’t need to be eating all that sugar.

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The weather was a little cooler yesterday with some rain during the night. I’m still going to tough it out in the camper even though last night was predicted to get down to 31° last night. At first I wasn’t feeling the joy that I normally feel, but now that I’ve been out here a few times, and we’ve booked our first camping trip of the year…I’m getting excited again. 

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I need to make a trip to Colorado every year to see the kids and my brother, and we really enjoy pulling the camper out there and spending a month. But that’s getting too pricey. And, my old truck is the only thing we can reliably tow the camper with and I have 163,000+ miles on it. That trip to Colorado and back is really hard on it and right now, we don’t have the money to replace it. So I’m having to come up with an alternative. In order to make it more affordable this year, we’ve decided I’ll go out by myself.

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I’ve never taken the train that far before. I took it from Colorado to California a couple of times. The first without a sleeper, and the second with an economy sleeper which was perfectly adequate. However…sleepers are incredibly expensive so I’m ruling that out. I could rent a car but I’d still have to drive out there and I don’t drive more than 400 or so miles a day. It would take me a few days each way. That brings up the subject of lodging. If I have to stay in hotels, it becomes cost prohibitive again.

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I haven’t flown since before the Covid lockdown for a number of reasons. Once the quarantine was lifted, passengers were becoming increasingly unruly. Then prices continued to rise and now planes are falling out of the air. I know intellectually that flying is probably the safest form of transportation, but I will really have to give myself some huge pep talks to get on a plane. I think that’s the most logical solution, though. I can get there fast and not be so exhausted when I arrive. I’ll have to rely on my peeps to give me lots of encouragement and prayers, though. I’ve turned into a bit of a weenie in my old age! lol

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I’ve got four months to psyche myself up for the adventure! In the meantime, spring is breaking out all over! Our forsythia are starting to bloom and the flowering quince has nice fat buds on them. The iris had shot up six or eight inches. There are daffodils all along the road into town and I’ve seen lots of crocus. Mrs. FixIt 1.0 had beautiful crocus and jonquils along the edge of her house, but she told me yesterday the frost nipped them. I’m glad I got some pictures the other day when they were at their peak.

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So, it’s only Tuesday and I need a margarita but since I don’t drink…I ate a cinnamon roll. That’ll do!

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💚

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“The flowers are springing up, the season of singing birds has come, and the cooing of turtledoves fills the air.”   ‭‭Song of Songs‬ ‭2‬:‭12‬ ‭NLT‬‬

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***Gratitude Journal***   
Today I am grateful our little great grandson wasn’t hurt too bad on Sunday. He had a little altercation with a tiny dirt bike and cracked a bone in his wrist. Three weeks in a cast and he’ll be good as new! My husband’s family is mine too and I’m so thankful to add them to my brood.
\n\n", "date_published": "2025-03-18T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2025/03/18/noshing-with-the-monday-stitchers.html", "tags": ["Comfort","Fear","Courage","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2025/03/12/today-is-mr-virgos-th.html", "title": "Today is Mr. Virgo's 12th Angelversary", "content_html": "\n
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The time keeps marching forward… further away from the actual loss. That doesn't mean he's gone from my memory or my heart.

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For those of you who are grieving the loss of your special person, my heart is with you. Your grief is the worst in the world for the precise reason…it is YOURS. You watch the world around you in a dazed fog, trying to figure out which is worse…accepting their death or pretending they're just away on a trip. You feel like half of you is missing. You can't imagine living another day, let alone a week, a month, or years. I hear you. I didn't either. You move from thing to thing, mindlessly. You don't eat much, and when you do, it's likely a bowl of cereal standing over the sink. You spend money you shouldn't because you thing, \"Why not? There's no way I'm going to survive this so I might as well spend to soothe.\" That's not a viable coping strategy…trust me. You lose all the color from your world…there's no music, or feelings, or hope, it seems. But, let me tell you…there is hope. I'm here as proof.

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With less money, more wrinkles, and changes that can't even be described. But one day, you'll see colors. You'll hear music. and the tears will gradually be replaced with a gentle smile from a memory of your loved one. There will still be waves from time to time, but they don't drown you anymore.

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Ever forward.

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Ginny

\n\n", "date_published": "2025-03-12T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2025/03/12/today-is-mr-virgos-th.html", "tags": ["Family","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Comfort","Change","Memories","Healing","Heaven"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2025/02/07/missed-a-day.html", "title": "Missed a Day", "content_html": "\n
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One of the first things I do every day is check in here to see how everyone is doing. I write my posts every evening and schedule them to go live every morning at 4:00. Imagine my surprise when I check in and find I hadn’t written a post the night before. It doesn’t happen too often, but when it does, I toss around the debate…take the time to write one in the morning, or consider it a well deserved day off. I almost always choose the latter. I figure it gives me an extra twelve hours or so to come up with something interesting to talk about.

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We had Mr. FixIt’s birthday party Wednesday night at the bowling alley. We took cupcakes and pizza over to Mrs. FixIt 1.0 and visited with her a little bit. She couldn’t come to the party and we wanted to be sure to include her. It had started raining around 8:00 and the temperature plummeted from 61° to 31° in the two hours we were bowling and when we came out, there was ice hanging from all the power lines and trees. It looked like diamonds twinkling in the street lights, but driving in an ice storm is anything but beautiful. We came home on our little twisty-turny two-lane blacktop going about 30mph. We never slid but there were lots of accidents that night. A head on collision on the Ohio side of the river claimed the lives of two women that night, so I was extra careful.

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We got home safe and sound and watched the late news. Right around the time we were heading to bed, our power went out. Not a bad thing unless you are counting on that electric blanket to keep you warm. I did fine. I even had my window open. But poor Mr. FixIt had to get up and go into the family room and turn up the gas stove. The cold gives him cramps in his legs. The power finally came on a little after noon. It’s funny how flipping on a light is an automatic reflex…even when you absolutely know the electricity is out.

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We had company in the afternoon. My bonus daughter and her husband came over to show us their new-to-them car. They got a really good deal on it and it was really super clean. They were so proud of it.

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Other than that, we didn’t do a darned thing yesterday. I was considering going out to the farm for a few days, but it’s not as easy to go out there when the weather is dicey. There already isn’t running water. Then if the electric goes out, there’s no internet. There already isn’t TV which is one of the main reasons I like to go out there…to get a break from the noise. When I go out, I have to take my food and water, my knitting, my computer and lap desk, my cuddle blankets, clothes and toiletries, too. It’s quite the ordeal. I don’t like leaving a lot of stuff out there since we no longer own the place. So I cart it all out there and back. It just seems harder to do when it’s cold. 

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Spring will be here again before we know it. Mr. FixIt was remarking how there was still light in the sky going on 7:00 in the evening so the days are already getting noticeably longer. Think I’ll bake more bread today. I forgot to double my recipe on Wednesday and I only made one loaf. We had French toast for breakfast and sandwiches for supper and that used up quite a bit of that loaf.

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I finally cleaned up my “nest” around the Big Red Chair! Trying to decide what project to work on next. Do you all see one project through to completion before you start the next? Or, are you like me and have several going at once? I’m incorrigible!

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💜

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“The Lord is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble; he knows those who take refuge in him.”   Nahum‬ ‭1‬:‭7‬ ‭ESV‬‬

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***Gratitude Journal***  
Today I am grateful for electricity and all the utilities we take for granted.
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#electricity, #poweroutage, #icestorm

\n\n", "date_published": "2025-02-07T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2025/02/07/missed-a-day.html", "tags": ["Comfort","Farm Life","Home"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2025/01/15/shiver-me-timbers-its-cold.html", "title": "Shiver me Timbers - It’s COLD!", "content_html": "\n
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Wowza…we’re hitting single digits pretty regularly here in WV as of late. I sleep with the window open in the little bedroom. I snuggle down under the electric blanket in that cold room and sleep like a rock. Mr. FixIt keeps his window shut and the furnace grate open…his blanket on just enough to warm the bed then he shuts it off. After several years of trying to sleep his way, I was just getting more and more sleep deprived and I knew it wasn’t healthy. So now we sleep in different rooms and we are much nicer to be around. We still get snuggles and hug whenever we pass each other in the house all day long so we aren’t hurting for contact. It’s just the sleeping part we had to address.

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Yesterday was very busy. I had a medical appointment. I delivered Christmas presents to those who were sick and couldn’t come to our party. I went to Tractor Supply and bought three bags of birdseed. I stopped at my friend Jon Six’s hair salon to drop off a whole bag of hats, baby dolls, and baby blankets that I knitted and he was so happy to get them. He’ll take them to the place where homeless girls have their babies.

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As I was driving to my next stop, I prayed for the recipients of these gifts that they may be protected from the cold. I felt my privilege lay heavy in my chest as I effortlessly went about my day of shopping…returning to my warm home and ample pantry. Tragically, we had an unhoused woman fall asleep outside of her tent Monday night and she was found yesterday morning…deceased. It breaks my heart.

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It reminds me that so many are just one catastrophe away from being homeless. I spent three years traveling around in my camper. There were times when that was a real struggle…especially when I first moved to WV and lived up by the Ohio River in weather like this. I was so blessed to have that comfortable house on wheels. I can’t imagine having nothing more than what you can push in a grocery cart. It’s a problem everywhere and it just seems to be getting worse. I may not be able to do much or give a lot of money, but I can at least help keep them warm with a hat that I’ve prayed over as I knit.

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My last stop was the gas station and the grocery store before I went home. I brought everything in from the truck. Since I still had my snow boots and heavy winter coat on, I went to the front of the house and knocked the icicles off the gutter. I put everything away and by that time, I asked if my husband would be satisfied with hotdogs for supper. He was fine with it. I just didn’t have it in me to cook. I found quart containers of chicken livers at the grocery store for $1.50 each so I put one in the freezer and I’ll cook the other container with caramelized onions, mashed potatoes and gravy and green beans for supper tonight. Comfort food that I am extra grateful for today.

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I hope you are keeping warm and there’s food in your belly.

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❄️🩵❄️

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“For there will never cease to be poor in the land. Therefore I command you, ‘You shall open wide your hand to your brother, to the needy and to the poor, in your land.’”
‭‭Deuteronomy‬ ‭15‬:‭11‬ ‭ESV‬‬

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#unhoused #homeless #winter #helpisontheway #helpingothers

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*Photo Credit: AI Generated Image by Ginny McKinney

\n\n", "date_published": "2025-01-15T03:00:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2025/01/15/shiver-me-timbers-its-cold.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Camping","Comfort","Grace","God","Humbled","Insight","Mental Health"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2025/01/11/still-snowing.html", "title": "Still Snowing!!!", "content_html": "\n
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Just a quick check in. I ran to town and got my cap cemented back on my front tooth so I’m back in business. It didn’t start snowing till a couple of hours after I got home. We were eating a late lunch when a young man knocked on the door. His car had slid off the road into our yard and he wanted to know if we could help him. Mr. FixIt got the tow strap and pulled him back up on the road into our but not before he schooled the young man a little. This is a very, very narrow road and there’s a blind curve out by the end of the near field. People seem to think it’s ok to just pull into our yard to let the oncoming car pass instead of backing up a little bit to a wider spot in the road. If there’s any snow, they’re just sucked right off the road. It happens at least once every winter and sometimes it damages the field carving deep ruts that are difficult to mow over. The young man was most appreciative and apologized profusely. He was a nice kid.

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The snow is still coming down and we’re supposed to get another 2-4”. That’s fine. This is big stuff here. It’s any Friday in Colorado from October to May!

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Today will be another hygge home day. Hope you’re staying cozy this weekend.

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Please continue to pray for the people of California. We were watching the news last night and I heard of a man who refused to leave his son who has cerebral palsy and is immobile. That broke me and just cried. My brother has cerebral palsy and if he was stuck and couldn’t get out, I’d totally stay by his side and hold him into Heaven.

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😢

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#california #californiafires #dentist #snow

\n\n", "date_published": "2025-01-11T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2025/01/11/still-snowing.html", "tags": ["Prayer","Comfort"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2025/01/10/baking-day.html", "title": "Baking Day", "content_html": "\n
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It’s getting to the point there are several baking days a week around here. We were out of bread so I baked a couple loaves of sourdough yesterday morning. It is SO good toasted with butter and jam or for a quick supper of ham and provolone. I’ve pretty much given up trying to eat in the dining room or the kitchen bar. Poor Mr. FixIt has a bad back and his recliner is really one of the only places he can sit and get some relief. So I bring his meals in to him in the family room. We sit and watch the television…another thing I swore I’d never do after Mr. Virgo died. It must be a guy thing, I don’t know. But I’m at a point where I just want him to be comfortable and if that means we slack off in the formal dining department, that’s fine with me.

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Every time I bring his something…a plate of food, a bowl of chili, a sandwich, or even a cookie…he always says, “Thank you, my baby.” I smile at him and say, “Who takes care of you?” “You do!” “Yes, and don’t you forget it!” He laughs and I kiss him on top of the head. I do take care of him. But he takes care of me, too. He’s always watching out for me, helping me with whatever I need, giving me hugs no matter what he’s doing. He’s a good man. I don’t take his presence in my life for granted. I remember the terrible pain and loneliness after Mr. Virgo died. Our days are numbered here, so I will treasure each one…even when he’s standing on my last nerve and jumps. That’s a guy thing, too. lol

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We watched Jimmy Carter’s funeral yesterday. There were so many heart touching moments. The eulogies honoring him by his family and peers alike, made my eyes leak a few times. He was a good and faithful servant and his accomplishments inspire me to up my game in the service department and be a better human. I can’t do what I used to do, but I can still do a lot!

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Aren’t the fires horrible in California? We know people who were evacuated or the evacuation orders came within a few blocks of their homes. There have been terrible fires near me when I lived in Colorado but none of them had that degree of destruction. I did witness the Storm King Fire where we lost 14 smokejumpers in Glenwood Springs. That was devastating. Daughter #2 was little and we hiked up the hill a little ways to see the fire from a few miles away. It blew up so fast and hot, the day turned into night and the sun was a deep red ball in a black sky. We watched the news last night and entire cities and towns were wiped out. It’s just so hard to imagine what those poor people are going through right now. Keep them in your prayers.

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The weatherman predicted a low of 8° last night. I still sleep with my window cracked, but that might just be a little too much for me. It’s supposed to snow sometime late this afternoon. My dentist’s office called yesterday morning to reschedule me. He had a family emergency. I hope everything is ok. I’ll make it a quick trip and get back home. I’ve become a hermit this winter and that’s ok. We rest when the world sleeps. There will be plenty to keep me busy come spring.

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I think I’m going to try baking a loaf of sandwich bread this weekend. It’s been a long time since I’ve made just a regular loaf of bread. What are your plans for the weekend? Do you find yourself wanting to bake and be cozy? Or are you getting indoor projects done?Whatever you’re doing, I hope you are safe and warm, happy and healthy!

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🩵

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“Whoever has a bountiful eye will be blessed, for he shares his bread with the poor.”
‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭22‬:‭9‬ ‭ESV‬‬

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generosity #character #goodness #GoodnessOfGod

\n\n", "date_published": "2025-01-10T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2025/01/10/baking-day.html", "tags": ["Comfort","Baking","Kindness"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2024/06/18/the-art-of-keeping-cool.html", "title": "The Art of Keeping Cool", "content_html": "\n
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I rarely ever take a nap anymore. I used to when the kids were little. And during Covid. Escapism at it’s finest. But the older I get, the more napping steals away my normal-such-as-it-is sleep cycle. The hot weather makes it more difficult to get a good night’s sleep and it caught up with me. 

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I was working on my laptop in the Big Red Chair. Mr. FixIt was sawing logs over there in his chair and I was nodding off. So I went in the bedroom to just stretch out for a minute and an hour-and-a-half later, I hear Mr. FixIt tiptoe down to hallway trying not to wake me. It was about time to fix supper anyway, so I got up and browsed the fridge for leftovers.

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There was the smoked pulled pork, of course. Another sandwich was in order. There was a homegrown cucumber and half a Vidalia onion. I sliced them both into a bowl and sprinkled salt, pepper, sugar, a tablespoon or so of cider vinegar and filled the rest of the bowl with water and set it aside.

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There were four ears of corn so I cleaned them. There was a a small container of leftover creamed tomato gravy. I heated everything up. Once the water was boiling, I dropped the corn in, turned off the heat and covered the pot. I set the timer for five minutes. Then I sliced the strawberries, sprinkled a little artificial sweetener on them and set them out at room temperature to soften and get juicy. When the timer went off, I threw everything together and we had a wonderful WV summer supper!

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After the news, I whipped up the berry cheesecake ice cream to a dipping consistency in the Ninja Creami and served it over the strawberries with a healthy dollop of sugar free whipped topping. Cooking on the stovetop didn’t raise the house temperature appreciably and the dishes were finished in a jiffy.

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Man, was it hot yesterday and it’s going to be more of the same over the next few days. By the time I was ready to get in the pool, there was thunder threatening, so I gave up on the idea. We had to get up really early this morning to take the truck in for service, so I called it an early night. I hope you are keeping cool. I’m going to have to mow both here and at The Farm sometime later this week and I don’t think there’s any one day better than the next. I think I’ll go out and stay overnight so I can mow early before it gets too hot. 

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I was happy to find out Daughter #1 finally got home from her trip to NJ for a family graduation. They had mechanical difficulties so they put her up in the airport hotel for the night. At least she got some sleep, but if you have kids, you know how it is. They’re never too old to worry over. This is exactly why I don’t fly anymore. I used to love it, but the idea of eating stuck and having to stand in lines and people getting unruly on the plane and dicey maintenance…I’m happy to drive and see the sights and sleep in my own little bed as we go cross-country.

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☀️

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“As soon as they come out in leaf, you see for yourselves and know that the summer is already near.”

\nLuke 21:30 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2024-06-18T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2024/06/18/the-art-of-keeping-cool.html", "tags": ["Comfort","Farm Life","Cooking"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2024/05/21/the-language-of-trees.html", "title": "The Language of Trees", "content_html": "\n
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A towering old tree.

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I slept over ten hours straight on Sunday night. Not a record, but greatly appreciated. We’ve been burning the candle at both ends and it was starting to catch up with us. We have family to visit here, but we decided as soon as we arrived that we would take Monday to recover. And recover we did!

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”Tulip Poplar”

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I awoke to the sounds of the woods we are sleeping in. Birds, bees, fellow campers murmuring. The sound of a distant lawn mower lumbering away at the never ending growth of vegetation we endure here in West Virginia. We had our usual morning conversation. Our sweet good mornings then the inevitable discussion of what’s for breakfast.

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Foxglove

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We settled on a big country breakfast because the fresh air of camping whets your appetite. I “baked” the biscuits in the electric skillet then heated up the gravy from the can and scrambled up some eggs. Doing dishes is fairly easy when camping. I mean, PRINCESS camping. I turned on the water heater before I started cooking and it might as well have been my home kitchen no harder than it was. I do have an outdoor kitchen where I set up the skillet and this keeps the smells out of the camper, which is much appreciated when you lay down at night.

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Mulberry

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After breakfast, Mr. FixIt sat outdoors with me for a while, but I was engrossed in my book. He decided to go in and stretch out while he watched a movie on the DVD player I bought for him for just such occasions. When his movie was over, we decided to go down to the little store at the intersection down the road to get a bag of ice and check our messages. Once we were down there, we figured we’d better go over and check out the visitor’s center, but we had a bag of ice now. We brought it back to the camper and ventured out again.

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Daisies

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There is a beautiful path behind the nature center that meanders on a raised boardwalk that accommodates people with disabilities. It’s beautiful because you can look down on the forest floor and see everything. The path goes out to a bridge that crosses a beautiful trout stream. The day was perfect. Eighty degrees, sunshine, and a gentle breeze that rocked the tops of monstrous deciduous trees.

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Seneca Creek

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After crossing the river, the path takes you to an old homestead with beautiful gardens filled with iris, peonies, and myriad native plants that make their home in the Appalachian Mountains. We spent some time photographing the views and eventually made our way back. I bought a book showing one-hundred plants to feed the bees so I can add to my pollinator gardens.

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Some of the flowers at the Sites Homestead

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We came back to the campground hungry and ready for a late lunch, early supper. Hotdogs and chips fit the bill…both with the campground ambiance and with the ease of preparation. If I liked campfires, we would have roasted them over a fire, but I can hardly stand the smoke. It gets in my hair and clothes and the camper and it chokes me. Mr. FixIt is so flexible in this regard. He wouldn’t want me to be uncomfortable, no matter how much he might like the fire.

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Dogwood in front of Seneca Rocks

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My husband is a magnet for people who like to talk and he’s never known a stranger in his life. We were sitting in our camp rockers, enjoying the cool air blowing through the trees when a gentleman came over to chat. They talked for quite some time. One of the neighboring campers had mentioned we were from the Parkersburg so he had to come talk to us. Finally after ten minutes or so, I asked where he was born and raised. It turns out, I knew him from childhood. We were raised a block apart on the same street and we all played together as kids! Seriously….it is a teeny, tiny world.

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Me and my childhood friend that we ran into at the campground.

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Sitting with the trees, being still, listening to the birds, and watching the clear blues sky is like speaking a language that isn’t easily understood when you don’t spend time in its’ presence. When I stayed for three months in the wilderness and backroads of Colorado after Mr. Virgo died, I learned to speak this language fluently. I feel a disconnect when I stay away too long, but it’s like riding a bicycle…it all comes back to you the moment you step into the cool shade of towering timbers.

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Old Grape Arbor

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Today we go visit my Uncle Bud and I can hardly wait!!!

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🌸🩵🌸

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“The Lord replied, “My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.””

\nExodus 33:14 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2024-05-21T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2024/05/21/the-language-of-trees.html", "tags": ["Camping","Comfort","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2024/05/17/making-the-best-of-disappointment.html", "title": "Making the Best of Disappointment", "content_html": "\n
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I didn’t feel terrific when I went to bed Wednesday night. I woke up feeling worse, but thought I’d better make something soothing for breakfast for Gail and me. I ended up making grits and eggs and, while it tasted pretty good going down, within an hour I was sick as a dog. I shooed Gail out and spend the next two hours worshiping porcelain. I also had chills and couldn’t get warm. I have a kind of “cocktail” my doctor has prescribed me for just such occasions. I took it and went to sleep for three hours and woke up feeling much better. I had felt so bad earlier, I considered asking Mr. FixIt to come up and be with me, but if I had a virus, a little camper is pretty tight quarters and I surely didn’t want him to catch something. It turns out it was probably a combination of something I ate and the fact I’m burning the candle at both ends. Although I didn’t eat much the rest of the day, I did stay hydrated and basically just took it easy…sitting with Gail and knitting under the pavilion here at the campground.

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Yesterday was beautiful. The temperature was in the low seventies and the sky was clear. The birds were trying to out sing each other. When I woke up from my nap, I sat in my recliner with a mug of hot tea. I kept hearing something. Honestly, it sounded like a bird or a small critter on the roof of the slide out. Every time I got up to listen, it would stop for a few moments then I’d hear it somewhere else. All of a sudden it dawned on me. We have a MOUSE in the camper! Ugh!!!

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I’ve been meaning to put some traps around but never got to it. We keep the camper out in the field at home and we’ve never had a mouse. Not till we got to the campground here. The camper that sat in this site before me was really, really old. It had split seams and duct tape. The gentleman and his dog were living in the camper and moving from state park to state park every two weeks. That’s as long as you are allowed to stay in on park. This is done to keep people from just living there. I felt for him. I’ve lived in my camper before by choice. It’s an entirely different thing to live in one because you have no other choices. 

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This campground is surrounded by woods so picking up little tiny livestock is pretty easy…especially if you have a very old camper with lots of openings that let the critters in. I’m going to have to look around the undercarriage of the camper to see if there are any holes in it that would allow mice in. Gail gave me a DCon trap and we went to Dollar General later to pick up a couple more. I did see the mouse eating the little DCon brick and by evening I hadn’t heard it. I’d much rather seal up any holes than to set traps, but beggars can’t be choosers when you’re in the woods in a camper. A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.

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Gail and I sat out and talked in the pavilion till about dark. We had to reschedule our visit with Jan at her farm which was really disappointing. I didn’t know if I was contagious and I surely didn’t want to get her sick. She has a busy upcoming schedule…as we all do. I’m just really grateful that it seems to have been a brief upset and I will feel much better today.

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🌸🩵🌸

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“Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.”

\nRomans 5:3-4 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2024-05-17T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2024/05/17/making-the-best-of-disappointment.html", "tags": ["Camping","Comfort","Frustration"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2024/05/16/after-the-storm.html", "title": "After the Storm", "content_html": "\n
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I thought for sure I’d hit the ground running yesterday and get so much done but that didn’t materialize. Bestie Gail didn’t get to the campground till noonish because she was babysitting her sweet three-year-old granddaughter. I gave myself a slow start then I could hear the neighbor camper gathering things to move from the site I had reserved for the rest of my stay. As soon as he left, I had Grace all ready to hop into the new site next door.

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I got everything settled and organized for the rest of my stay, pulled my chair out of the truck, and sat under the awning drinking my RYZE and reading one of my summer books. It was delightfully cool and quiet. I was wondering where Gail was and when I went in the camper for a refill. I glanced out the window and she was there! She thought I was napping and didn’t want to disturb me. 

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I took my hot beverage over along with the new Tunisian Crochet Hook to try to figure out how to do it. It wasn’t long till I remembered crochet really isn’t my jam. About the time I gave up on it, the rain started and we came over to my camper because we have the comfy recliners. Gail and I looked over the vintage tablecloths and came up with what we want to do for the curtains. We decided I needed to use white cloth for a liner to give them a more finished look. She suggested buying a white king-size flat sheet instead of yardage. You get a lot more fabric for the money that way. I was going to take the wooden valance boxes off because I hate the brown, but I’ve come up with a better idea and I think it’s going to be darling!

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When I bought the tablecloths, I also picked up some embroidered valances for $1 each. I vacillated over full curtains or just the valance on the windows in the slide out. They are behind the double recliner and I really love the light coming in. We don’t bound around in our nothing anyway so privacy isn’t really an issue. We either draw the big curtain across the bedroom area or change in the bathroom. So I decided to just put the valance up and keep it light and airy. As you can see, I used old towels to create antimacassars for the back of the chairs. I’m going to change that and use some of the tablecloth fabric to make that area cheery, as well.

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The fabrics will be mix and match with a jumble of color but a theme for cohesiveness. I’m really excited about it. I want it to look homey and comfortable without being too she-she for Mr. FixIt. I don’t mind the wallpaper in here at all. It’s kind of a basket weave…like linen. There is entirely WAY too much brown for my taste, but I’m not clear yet on whether I want to paint the cabinets. That may come down the road…not sure. I think if I change a little at a time, it might be easier on Mr. FixIt than a huge abrupt change. Most people get their campers to their liking in time to buy a new one. I’m honestly hoping this will be the LAST one! (Didn’t I say that about the A-Frame? lol)

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Gail made taco salad for supper last night. The rain came in again so we went over to my camper to sit in the comfy chairs and knit. We had tea and solved all the world’s problems and by 8:30, our eyes were drooping and we were done for the day. The frogs were calling and I could hear the cows from the dairy farm down the road. They were up near the fence by the playground…bellowing. I listened for the owls, but I have a feeling the storm kept them quiet.

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My solar lantern hanging from the awning struts to keep me from banging my head on them when I walk by in the dark!

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Today we head over to our friend Jan’s farm for a visit. I love her to pieces and I love her place…it’s so peaceful and she has this really great old barn. Jan is a spitfire…she may be small in stature, but she is larger than life. A widow, a mother, a banjo picker, an activist, a naturalist, and a retired pastor with more energy in her little pinky than I will ever have! Can’t wait to give her a squeeze!

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🩵

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“By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God’s command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible.”

\nHebrews 11:3 NIV\n
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#Rain, #Camping, #Vintage

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Poor Mr. FixIt…he has a lot to handle with me for a wife. I always get a wild hair, and sometimes at inopportune moments. I’ve been wanting to change the queen bed in the camper to twins. When we travel, we’re tired enough. Add to it a restless night and soon, neither one of us are having a good time. I’ve seen plenty of camper makeovers. I already took out the dinette and put in the double reclining loveseat. That made a huge difference on our trip to the beach last year. So, I thought…why not? I can do this. After all, I renovated my mom’s house all by myself. 

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My sweetheart was gone for the day yesterday and I honestly thought I could have it finished before he got home. I think I could have if it wasn’t for the little side table pieces. They were a booger to get out…especially the one on the left over the water tank. I worked slow and steady till 3:30 then I had to call it quits. The second Shingrix vaccine is really kicking my behind. I get worn out in the afternoon…especially after working in the camper all day.

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I’m really excited about these beds. I have it exactly in my head what I want. And Mr. FixIt…being an engineer…will help me make sure I get all the measurements and design points correct. I want storage space under each bed so it needs to be the right dimensions to accommodate them. I already have all the bedding from the a-frame camper we had with twin beds in it. I did some preliminary measurements and I can cut the memory foam mattress right down the middle and sew some fabric on the cut side and voila! Twin beds! I’m so excited and, a little nervous…I don’t really want Mr. FixIt to see it till it’s done. You know how a project ALWAYS looks WAY worse before it gets finished, right? Well, this falls in that category, for sure!

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Once I gave up for the day in the camper, I came inside and started going through the totes. I’m being very picky about what we take this time. We never use everything and it’s just extra weight and costs more gas to tow it. I know I’m going to pay for this tomorrow…I’m already sore! 

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It’s gotten chilly here. Hope you have an enjoyable weekend!

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🩵

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”“Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Won’t you first sit down and estimate the cost to see if you have enough money to complete it? For if you lay the foundation and are not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will ridicule you, saying, ‘This person began to build and wasn’t able to finish.’“

\nLuke 14:28-30 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2024-04-20T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2024/04/20/mrs-fixit-strikes-again.html", "tags": ["Camping","Comfort","Grace"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2024/03/24/rise-and-shine.html", "title": "Rise and Shine!", "content_html": "\n
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My favorite breakfast…Grits and Eggs!

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I woke before the sun came up and sighed. My fun week with the girls had come to an end. But the upside of course is…I was heading home to my sweetheart! I stripped the bed and cleaned the little cottage so Gail wouldn’t have to do it. I fixed breakfast and enjoyed my cup of RYZE while Gail quietly spun her beautiful yarn. She’ll be knitting a sweater with it as a gift. She is such a prolific knitter and is always making something for her extensive network of family and friends. 

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I worked a little more on the socks I’m knitting for Sue and when I came to a logical stopping point, I packed up and headed for home. It’s a good four hour drive. I stopped at the store for a  couple of things and filled up with gas before I headed out into the countryside for the last leg of the trip home.

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Gail’s beautiful homespun yarn. Isn’t it yummy?!

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Mr. FixIt contacted me Thursday night to say a boulder the size of a passenger van had come down, blocked one lane of the two-lane blacktop out to our house. I was so grateful it didn’t hurt someone. It took hours to break it apart and haul it away and you could see where it hit the roadway.

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I stopped for Chinese food on the way home and my sweetie and I watched a little TV. I was really too tired to write a long post, but wanted to let you know I got home safe and sound. It’s still so cold here. I’m happy I don’t have to go anywhere for a while…we can just enjoy each other’s company and our warm and comfy home.

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🩵

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”“You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.“

\nMatthew 5:14-16 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2024-03-24T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2024/03/24/rise-and-shine.html", "tags": ["Comfort","Peaceful Moments","Uncategorized","Home"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2024/03/20/no-responsibilities.html", "title": "No Responsibilities!", "content_html": "\n
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I was way off when I described the color of this yarn yesterday. It has PINK in it…not blue. I think it’s going to make a beautiful felted hat!

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Happy Spring! We got up to a dusting of snow yesterday and C-O-L-D!!! Brrrrrrr!

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Gail and I had a great day. I cooked brunch…biscuits with sausage gravy and fried potatoes. Yummmmm! I actually used canned biscuits for the first time in years. I bought Pillsbury Grand Buttermilk Biscuits. The really flaky ones. I’ve always thought canned biscuits tasted a bit bitter, but these were really good. I guess if you put enough sausage gravy on something, it’s bound to taste good, right??? 

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After I cleaned up the kitchen, we retired to the living room and spent the entire day knitting. I’m well over half finished with the hat I’m making. This particular pattern is for a felted wool hat…something I’ve always wanted to try, but never have. You knit it much bigger than your head size, then you wash it in a washing machine on the hottest setting. It has to be a washer with an agitator or it won’t work right. You can also felt it by hand. The agitation causes the fibers to mat together creating a dense fabric. I’m sure it’s going to take quite a while to dry so I may not be taking it home with me…we’ll see. I’ll just be happy to finish the knitting and get it felted and on the form before I have to leave.

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It kinda matches the sofa!

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I have really enjoyed having the dogs around. I love dogs. I just don’t want to commit to having another one. I love to sleep in. I don’t want to have one more thing to worry about or have to spend money on to make plans around. I’m “of an age” where I can enjoy the dogs of others…just like I enjoy the children of others. Then I can go home to the relative peace and quiet.

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Tuxedo…aka Tux! What a pretty boy!

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Speaking of quiet…this is a TV free zone this week! I glance at the news a couple of times during the day. I check the weather forecast. I check on the blog to see how you all are doing. And that’s the extent of my screen time. I would be just as happy to have NO TV every day! But alas…TV and Mr. FixIt go together. To be without TV at home would mean to be without Mr. FixIt and that simply will not do! I love my sweetheart.

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Gail made a great supper with salad and a Butternut Squash with Ground Turkey dish that was not only low cal…it was crazy good. Here’s the recipe: https://gardeninthekitchen.com/ground-turkey-butternut-squash-skillet/ We knitted a while longer, then she made baked apples for dessert. It was such a wonderful day!

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The little cottage at Gail’s has an old claw foot tub. A deep, hot soak after a day knitting and eating is as good as a week at a spa! The king sized bed is cushy, the crisp white sheets are fresh, and the open window lets in the chilly night air. It makes for great sleep! 

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This is divine!

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🌷

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”He makes springs pour water into the ravines; it flows between the mountains.“

\nPsalms 104:10 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2024-03-20T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2024/03/20/no-responsibilities.html", "tags": ["Comfort","Crafts","Friends"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2024/03/19/a-home-away-from-home.html", "title": "A Home Away From Home", "content_html": "\n
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Every time I arrive at Gail’s I’m so relieved to give her a great big hug. We have to cherish our friendships and our girlfriends are a lifeline in many ways. She always meets me in the driveway and helps me carry my things into the little cottage next door that is always reserved for me. I have to have my quiet time in the evening to write. It’s as important to me as the air I breathe and my friends honor and respect that. 

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Gail’s three dogs come to greet me. Little Jake, the Shih Tzu, thinks he belongs to everyone so he’ll bark till you settle down on the couch. Then your lap was made for him and that’s where he will stay. Well, my legs, actually. My lap is always full of knitting. Bailey, the Yellow Lab, is a gentle old lady. She’ll come to greet me but after the newness wears off, she’s snoozing on the floor. The one who has a bit of tizzy is Tux…the Border Collie. He thinks you’ve come to steal the television or his ball or that you might just be there to pet HIS dogs. God forbid! However, if I sit quietly, talk to him gently, and don’t make immediate eye contact, it won’t be long and he’ll be nosing my hand for a pet.

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When I finished putting things away in the cottage, I took my knitting over to the main house. Before I even got in the house, I could smell dinner cooking. Gail is such a good cook! She made a meatloaf with 3/4 beef and 1/4 venison. I couldn’t taste the venison at all. I usually don’t like it, but this was delicious! Along with baked potatoes and broccoli and iced tea, we had a meal to rival any restaurant. 

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Gail’s husband was off bowling, so we sat in the living room and knitted, happily chatting and catching up with each other’s lives. Gail and I text every day, several times a day most days. And we talk on the phone or FaceTime frequently. You would think there isn’t a thing to catch up on, but there always is. I have a new pattern for a felted wool hat. I showed it to Gail and asked her what yarn I should use and she said, “Hang on a sec.” She went to her stash and came back with two balls of wool that she spun and plied herself. It is plied with a dusky blue and medium brown twist and it’s perfect for the project. AND, it’s extra special because my bestie made it. It’s leftover from a sweater she knitted. She spun too much and she won’t be using it for anything else. So…it’s MINE! (Thank you, Gail…you’re the best!)

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Our other friend won’t be here till Wednesday, so we’ve got another whole day of knitting and catching up. There are a few little shops in town I like to visit when I’m here, but honestly, I’ll be happy as a little clam to sit with this little fur ball on my legs and knit to my heart’s content!

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🌷

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”Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of a friend springs from their heartfelt advice.“

\nProverbs 27:9 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2024-03-19T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2024/03/19/a-home-away-from-home.html", "tags": ["Comfort","Crafts","Friends"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2024/03/16/progress-and-perfection.html", "title": "Progress and Perfection", "content_html": "\n
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I got right to work on the taxes yesterday morning after having an epiphany during the night. This happens all the time to me. There’s something I need to do and try as I might, I can’t figure it out. So, when I finally remember I’m supposed to be handing all this mishegas to God to take care of, I hand it over and go to sleep. And nine times out of ten, I wake up and know exactly what I need to do to fix the problem. 

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It happened again yesterday morning. I went right to the computer and boom, boom, boom…I had the old taxes right in front of me and I got to work. I wore the headphones a lot yesterday as I worked so Mr. FixIt could watch the TV. I love him dearly. I was finding myself overly annoyed at the television though. I have discovered, if I get up thirty minutes to an hour before he does, I can sit in my Big Red Chair and enjoy that first cup of RYZE in blissful silence. Then, when he gets up, I start breakfast and if he turn Andy Griffith on right away and I can eat and watch with my second cup…Mama is a MUCH nicer human which in turn make Papa much happier.

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Once we get through that, I usually have my sights set on something productive and that’s when I put my noise canceling headphones on and go about my business. I cannot change him. I don’t want to change him. I just want to figure out a way to navigate my day without getting angry at an inanimate object that seems intent on disturbing my peace.

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This brings me to my second discovery. If I reframe the thought “This darned television is making me CRAZY!” into “Hearing the TV on reminds me my husband is still here with me.” When you’ve lost one, you never forget what a huge hole they left in your life. I can’t change him. I don’t WANT to change him. I want him here with me for as long as God grants us to be together this side of Heaven.

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I had to stop working by about 4:30 to get ready for our eldest WV grandchild’s birthday party. They had a houseful and we got to play with the grand-doggies. Ivy is a Bernedoodle, about eighteen months old. And the new baby is Cooper, an 8 week old blonde golden retriever. What cute little fluff nuggets! We had a wonderful time with family.

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My first husband and his family are in my heart this weekend as they lay his only son to rest on Sunday. I chatted with Daughter #1 yesterday afternoon at the airport. She said the side streets were really bad in Denver, but the main streets were clear and dry. DIA didn’t get very much snow at all and flights were moving pretty much on schedule. 

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I’ll head to town this morning and get my hair trimmed. I was thinking I’d cut my bangs again, but when I blew my hair dry last night, I really liked it. So maybe just a trim. I don’t know. I guess I’ll figure it out when I get there.

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I have to spend the day tomorrow getting ready for the trip up to Gail’s for our knitting retreat. It’s really crazy. I have to have my own pillow. I have a small fuzzy baby blanket that I put on top of the pillow that feels more comforting to my skin than a pillowcase. I had a second, slightly larger fuzzy blanket that I fold up and hold against my chest. I’m a side sleeper and this props up the top arm and keeps it from going to sleep. I have a third fuzzy blanket that I use instead of a top sheet because I love the feel of the soft, kinky fabric against my skin. 

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Yes. I’m fully aware that I am high maintenance. That’s not really a problem…because I do the maintaining. We all have our own little quirks…things that make us feel comfortable. The ability to self-comfort is a skill we would all do well to know. I learned a long time ago not to depend on someone else for my happiness and comfort. The fact that I have someone willing and able to provide that and that I can reciprocate is icing on the cake of my life that I do not take lightly or for granted.

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I remember after Mr. Virgo died, I would get so upset with couples who were unkind to each other on the regular. I wanted to shake them and wake them up to the reality of what happens when your person isn’t there anymore. They really don’t get…till it happens to them.

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🌷

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”May the Lord repay you for what you have done. May you be richly rewarded by the Lord, the God of Israel, under whose wings you have come to take refuge.”“

\nRuth 2:12 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2024-03-16T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2024/03/16/progress-and-perfection.html", "tags": ["Comfort","God","Happiness"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2024/03/10/a-terrible-loss.html", "title": "A Terrible Loss", "content_html": "\n
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We were young and in love…the first love for each of us. We got married young and I moved to England where my first husband was stationed in the Air Force. A year later, we had our only child together…my “sweet little pink bundle,” as my mom called her. Time went on, and as can happen when you marry young, our relationship didn’t last. We went our separate ways and a few years later, we each remarried.

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Hubby #1 and his new wife had a baby of their own…a little boy. Bright and spunky with a million questions, Daughter #1 was smitten with her little brother. He arrived the summer she turned thirteen and she always looked forward to seeing him when she visited her father. He became a good caricaturist and drew magical creatures and anime characters. He never married and found a career at the local Kroger Store. He rode his bike all over town. On his dad’s last birthday, he bought him a book of “Dad Jokes” that ended up as daily posts on Facebook for all to enjoy. He had a kind heart and always looked for the good in people.

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I received a text Friday afternoon from Hubby #1 that broke my heart. His son..that gentle giant of a man…died unexpectedly of genetic cardiac disease at his home. They found him there when he hadn’t shown up for work. Everyone is crushed. Even with all my years as a sort of “grief mentor,” I was at a loss for words. A snatch death is so shocking. They’re there…then they aren’t. But when it’s your child? What can you say? There are no words that can offer comfort or change things. 

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We are tempted to TRY to change things and make them better when someone we love is hurting. There are things we can do. It’s customary to bring food to the home of the bereaved. But when you live far away, there is still a way to contribute. How about “grief groceries?” You can go online and order some things and have them delivered to them. I’ll do that down the road…they have plenty now.

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It has always been my belief that if divorce comes to you, there are choices you can make. You can remain bitter enemies and hate each other forever. You can drop out of each other’s lives and never have any contact. If there was abuse in the marriage, often both of those choices go hand-in-hand. In our case, my relationship with my first husband kinda went through both of those phases till I matured and remembered there was a reason we married in the first place. We share a child and grandchildren. I was determined that just because we were no longer married to each other, it didn’t mean we couldn’t still love and respect each other.

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I’ve made it a point to remain in contact, befriending his wife, and loving this son of another mother. It’s much better for the kids and grandkids to keep them from feeling they need to choose between us. Love trumps hate…always.

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This is the cover photo on Eddy’s FB page. He was always an encourager.

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My continued prayers go out to my first husband and his wife. And to everyone who knew and loved Eddy. May his memory forever be a comfort.

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🙏🏼

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”So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.“

\nIsaiah 41:10 NIV\n
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#loss, #grief, #comfort

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My grandmother was fifty-six years old when I was born. My grandma was only forty-eight. Yet…they seemed ancient to me when I was a little girl. Their hair was gray and their skin was soft with wrinkles. Blue veins traced rivers on the backs of their hands and brown “liver spots” dotted their arms. They were magical beings with vast knowledge of such things as the perfect chicken and dumplings and soothing slices of jelly bread. They kissed away booboos and loved me unconditionally…my grandma most of all. 

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I was standing in front of the mirror at The Farm yesterday morning, brushing my own grey hair and pinning it up in a bun just as Grandma had always done. I never knew her to have short hair. As far as I know, she had never cut it or gone to a beauty shop. And she never had bangs. I’ve been letting my bangs grow out. I trimmed them myself through the pandemic so I just kept doing it. Then I waited a little too long and was afraid I’d botch it up. Not wanting to go to the hairdresser, I decided to let them grow out to see if I like them. I don’t NOT like them. I wore my hair swept back when I was growing up. My bangs are getting long enough to sweep them back when I pin my hair up, as long as the bun is high on my head. The jury is still out. I think I notice my face more and maybe that’s not a bad thing. I don’t feel the need to hide anymore and this is a little liberating.

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That’s me in the center of the photo with my uncle and cousins going for a ride in the old Model A truck.

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My Noom lesson yesterday was on self confidence and giving yourself compliments. We are quick to compliment others, yet we are so hard on ourselves. My exercise for the day was to stand in front of the mirror and give myself a believable compliment…out loud. I stepped closer to the mirror and looked at myself critically. I’ve always had a distinct widow’s peak and that’s why I’ve worn bangs. I was self conscious of the receding hairline on either side of my face. I finished brushing my hair back and said to the girl with the grandmother face who was smiling at me.

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“You have a kind face. Your eyes crinkle with your laughter and twinkle with happiness. Every line on your beautiful face reminds you of the multitude of smiles you’ve given over the seventy years your presence has been known here. You are exactly as you were meant to be and exactly where you belong!”

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I gave myself a big hug and you know what? I felt better! Why are women so hard on themselves…and on each other? We should be celebrated for the glorious and powerful creatures we are! We should be lifting each other up at every turn and encouraging each other with positivity, love, and grace. I used to be so threatened by other women. And now? No way! I am past all that. I am of the mind that if another doesn’t like me or accept me as I am, they are not deserving of my time and energy and I release myself from the burden of bearing the weight of something that is no longer mine to carry.

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I took this picture because, honestly…I don’t see that angle of myself. I wanted to see what the roadmap of wrinkles on my cheeks were up to. When I looked, I smiled. I’m not sad to have my grandmother’s face or my grandma’s long hair swept back in a bun. I’m honored to be counted among the crones. 

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I am the matriarch now.

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🩵

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”Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.“

\nProverbs 31:30-31 NIV\n
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#Matriarch, #Aging, #PositiveAging, #InternationalWomensDay

\n\n", "date_published": "2024-03-08T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2024/03/08/the-matriarch.html", "tags": ["Self Care","Uplifting Stories","Strong Women","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Peace","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Courage","Aging","Presence","Change","Memories","Mental Health"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2024/02/19/youve-got-a-friend.html", "title": "You’ve Got a Friend", "content_html": "\n
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I really DO give up. This is a lot harder than it looks. Don’t ever tell someone who knits on a circular knitting machine that it isn’t homemade.

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Mr. FixIt went to the bowling alley to visit with his buddies last night. He left me with the TV remote and I was trying to download something onto an ancient laptop. As usual, when my sweetie isn’t in control of the television viewing, I head to YouTube and promptly fall down a rabbit hole of guilty pleasure…watching any number of videos. Sometimes I just land on the video of a crackling fire and snuggle up with a good book. Other times I search for how-to videos if it will help me with a current project.

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Last night, I settled on music videos. I didn’t watch the Grammys this year so I missed the incredible performances of Tracy Chapman and Luke Combs singing Fast Car and the beautiful Joni Mitchell singing Both Sides Now. That sent me on a search of their earlier videos and then I stumbled on Carole King at the Kennedy Center Honors where Aretha Franklin sang Natural Woman and made President Obama cry.

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One of my very first albums was Tapestry by Carole King. We had one of those little stereos that would play a record over and over. Drove my dad nuts so I would turn it down enough to keep him from going ‘round the bend. Then I’d lay down on the floor and position a speaker on either side of my head and I was lost in the rhythm and lyrics for hours. It was my coming-of-age anthem album and I loved her to the moon and back.

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Life moved on. I finished school, got married, moved to England and listened to Carole and Elton and Rod on an 8-Track as I cooked and cleaned in our little flat. Music was always the undercurrent of my life. It carried me through myriad heartbreaks. It buoyed my spirits and soothed my loneliness and encouraged me to rise up every time I fell. 

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Music became my love language and during my second marriage, when we didn’t have a pot to pee in or a window to throw it out of when my husband was in medical school, we always had the radio playing in the background. Musical interests grew and changed as we got older and began to be the thermometer of where we were in our relationship. 

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After another divorce and a badly bruised ego, live music became an avid interest and I went whenever I could. I saw James Taylor, John Denver, America, Three Dog Night, The Temptations, Anita Baker…so many great concerts large and small. I never got to see Carole King in concert, but I did get to meet her and have an incredible experience. She was campaigning for John Kerry and came to the Daily Bread…a little restaurant on the Main Street of Glenwood Springs. 

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She spoke on women’s rights and the importance of raising our voices to be heard. Then, she sat down with her guitar and led us in song. We all sang You’ve Got a Friend and it’s a moment I will never forget. This tiny little dynamo of a woman with wild curls and signature sound reminded me…I may be going through a rough patch and a divorce I didn’t want, but I had friends. And that’s not for nuthin’.

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I didn’t get much accomplished yesterday. It was Sunday and a day of rest. I chatted with friends and family. I read and listened to music. I didn’t cook…like, at all! I let Mr. FixIt take care of me for a change. It was really nice.

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🩵

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”Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.“

\n1 Thessalonians 5:11 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2024-02-19T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2024/02/19/youve-got-a-friend.html", "tags": ["Comfort","Choices","Be Joyful!","Memories"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2024/01/18/who-killed-tim-kono.html", "title": "Who Killed Tim Kono?", "content_html": "\n
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Oooooooh…it was so cold Tuesday night that the water bottle on my windowsill froze! And I didn’t have the window opened more than an inch. It’s actually supposed to warm up overnight, but not by much. I had a lovely day playing with my new knitting machine. I made a pair of wool mittens that are so cozy and warm. 

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It was really nice to stay home yesterday. Mr. FixIt had to go to town so I was in my studio all afternoon. When he got home, I heated up the leftover chili for us and we watched the movie he bought me for Christmas. It’s really hard for me to sit down and watch a whole movie. Oppenheimer was well done and sometimes painful to watch. I really didn’t know the history of what happened to him after the war. I won’t ruin the ending for those who may not have seen the movie and would like to. While I wasn’t sitting on the edge of my seat, the movie did hold my interest as I did the hand work on the mittens.

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Once the movie was over, we caught up with Only Murders in the Building. Mr. FixIt and I caught our first episode of the series over the New Year’s weekend and we’re hooked. Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selina Gomez make the most unlikely trio of amateur investigators of the murder of Tim Kono in their high rise. There are so many twists and turns. It’s clever and funny and intriguing. I have no idea how many episodes or seasons they’ve made of this, but I’m looking forward to watching every one of them…then watching them again! I’m not a big TV fan. So much of it is just drivel that dumbs you down, but occasionally a show comes on that’s is entertaining and worth watching.

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I get to spend more time playing with my new knitting machines today. I think I’ll make some more mittens and work on a baby blanket I’m making. They say every knitting machine has its own quirks and this one is no exception. For some reason, the first three rows are really picky and the yarn has a tendency to split. So I use my loom pick to fix them, but it’s slow going. But, once you get past that third row, it’s a little easier. You still have to watch closely because occasionally it will still throw a split stitch. It’s not nearly as fast as the other machine, but it’s still a lot of fun to work with.

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They are predicting some real snow tonight here in West Virginia. I’ve learned to take what the weatherman says with a grain of salt around here. They’ll call for 1-3” of snow and send a torrent of folks to the stores to wipe out every loaf of bread, every jug of milk, and every package of eggs in sight. Fortunately, I have a full pantry and enough food in the fridge and freezer to last a month or more.

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I hope you are staying warm and safe through these storms. Be careful out there.

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❄️🩵❄️

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”“For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven and do not return there but water the earth, making it bring forth and sprout, giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater,“

\nIsaiah 55:10 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2024-01-18T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2024/01/18/who-killed-tim-kono.html", "tags": ["Comfort","Farm Life","Hygge"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2024/01/07/january-th.html", "title": "January 6th", "content_html": "\n
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Knitting in front of the “fire”!

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A monumental day in my life and the lives of all of us. My re-birth day was marred three years ago when the Capitol was stormed and of course, with it being an election year…we’re going to revisit it from every angle. For me personally, I was left traumatized by the events of that day. To my parent’s generation, it was Pearl Harbor. To mine, it was JFK’s assassination. And now…well, what ISN’T traumatizing these days? School shootings, train derailments, natural disasters, grown a$$ adults acting like idiots on network television. I just want it to stop. I want my great grandchildren to grow up in a world where these things aren’t normalized. And I want to stop feeling traumatized every time I watch the evening news. I think I’m going to have to go back to avoiding it again and get my news online from trusted sources. Not sticking my head in the sand. Just opting for sanity and keeping my environment as peaceful as I can. This isn’t a political rant…just a statement of desire. Peace.

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Yesterday was a lovely, peaceful day. We both slept in later than usual. We’ve discovered sleeping in separate rooms gives us both a better night’s sleep and keeps our marriage calm and joyful. I fixed a nice breakfast and went to my studio to make the hat and scarf to take to Mrs. FixIt 1.0 today. I think this one will fit her better. Our second great grandson is turning FOUR years old this week. He is the sweetest little guy…a real Papaw’s boy. 

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I puttered around a little with the things I brought home from the farm yesterday. I did a little research on a senior portrait I found mixed in with her papers. I posted it on the county genealogy page for the county where they graduated and got a hit. A gentleman posted that he forwarded it to the lady’s niece and she’ll be contacting me to retrieve the photo.

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I called about the table I really wanted, and…even though it wasn’t a bad price, I decided to wait before I jump on it. I want to see if anyone I know might have one they want to part with first.

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I’ve pulled out some more yarn to make another “Tote of Many Colors!” When I get a few things made ahead, I’ll have some of my handmade things for sale here soon. I would LOVE knowing things I made with my own hands are gracing your lives! 

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I made the Chicken Parmesan yesterday for supper and that dish just does not disappoint! SO yummy!

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If the weather permits, we’ll head into town today for the little guy’s birthday party. If not, we’ll just hang out here at the house. Either way, life is so good. I’m sure glad I stuck around for the “fourth act”!

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❄️

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”Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times in every way. The Lord be with you all.“

\n2 Thessalonians 3:16 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2024-01-07T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2024/01/07/january-th.html", "tags": ["Comfort","Peace","Cooking"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2023/11/18/knit-one-purl-two.html", "title": "Knit One, Purl Two", "content_html": "\n
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My knitting throne!

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I made a good breakfast yesterday and plopped myself in the Big Red Chair and knitted all day! What a treat! It felt weird…like I should be doing something else, but I stuck it out and got half a hat knitted. We watched old reruns and drank hot beverages and it was just so nice. It rained most of the day and it was so cozy under my blankie. I’m heading out to meet my high school girlfriends for coffee today. I’m cooking up some ideas in my head for Christmas gifts I can make. I don’t need to buy a thing because I bought those five boxes of fabric this summer and I have two tubs of yarn. I’m sure I can come up with something from all that!

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Since I took the day off, I’m taking the night off, too. I’ll leave you something from the archives and I’ll be back tomorrow. 

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\n[www.marshmallowranch.com/things-ma...](https://www.marshmallowranch.com/things-make-smile/)\n
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“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”

\nMatthew 11:28 ESV\n
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A week from today is Small Business Saturday. Please support small businesses that day. You aren’t paying for hefty advertising budgets or the high overheads of big box stores. You’re helping a single mom put food on the table. You’re helping a young entrepreneur get their dreams off the ground. You’re helping a retiree supplement her fixed income for the little extras she can give her family. If you have a friend who has a small business, share their site on your social media page. It doesn’t cost anything but a few moments of your time and you’ve done a great deed in helping spread the word. No matter who you buy from, small business owners appreciate it so much…so, thank you from all of us! 

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Shop Now

\n\n", "date_published": "2023-11-18T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2023/11/18/knit-one-purl-two.html", "tags": ["Comfort","Farm Life","Home"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2023/11/10/a-time-to-build.html", "title": "A Time to Build", "content_html": "\n
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Grandma nurtured all who passed through her doors. Whether it was with a cup of coffee and one of her famous Raisin-Filled Cookies for the adults or a hug and a slice of jelly bread for the youngin’s, she always welcomed you to her table with grace and cheer. She’s been gone now since 1999 and oh, how I miss her. But, I can still feel her goodness within these walls and I love having time here with my memories. I will concede, the high-speed internet is a bonus.

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I know there are some of you who don’t like to see my “ads” for my shop right up in your face. That’s why I started adding them at the bottom of my posts Monday through Saturday. I also have a separate Facebook page for Marshmallow Ranch Designs and an Etsy Shop that I’m trying to get off the ground. Y’all could really help me out if you would do the “s” word and let others know about it. Small Businesses everywhere need all the help they can get and I just know there are folks out there who might like to get a little something for someone at this time of year. 

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That being said, I do want to show you what I’ve been working on for the last three days here at the farm. I’ve been trying to think of something that would appeal to a broader audience. Something small, not terribly expensive, yet good quality and design. That’s when I got the idea to make a cute Christmas Ornament for ALL 50 States! Try as I might, I couldn’t settle on a design I like but it finally came to me yesterday morning. Less is more. So I trimmed it back and made the simplest of embellishments and if I do say so myself, they’re pretty darned cute!

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My stay was delightful and Mr. FixIt got along just fine without me there to cluck over him like an old mother hen. He even cooked for himself. I remember asking Grandma if PopPop helped her with the cooking and cleaning and she snorted. “That man couldn’t even fry an egg!” I busted out laughing because I had never, ever heard her say a derogatory word about the man she shared her life with since she was fifteen. 

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We had a heck of a rainstorm yesterday morning, but the sun came out in the afternoon and it was lovely. I swept the ladybugs off the front porch again and there weren’t quite as many as the day before. I’m looking forward to getting home and FINALLY attacking the family room. I really want to paint it before the holidays, but I’m not sure if I can get that done or not. It may have to wait till spring now. I don’t particularly want to paint when I can’t open the house up and air it out. And, we’d have to take the gas stove out to paint behind it and right now we are depending on it for our heat till the furnace is fixed. Pipe dreams.

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Thanks for indulging me and looking at my work. I’m looking forward to the winter when I can do some “makerly” work… things I make with my own hands. That’s how Marshmallow Ranch started in the first place. I made jewelry from antique silverware and maps and such in my art studio in Colorado and sold them on Etsy. Ahhh, that seems like three lifetimes ago. I suppose in a way, it has been. My life as Mr. Virgo’s wife in Colorado. My life as a widow on the road. And my life alongside Mr. FixIt here in West Virginia. That life… THIS life is the best!

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🍁

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“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

\nJeremiah 29:11 ESV\n
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US States Christmas Ornaments have arrived in the shop! Do you have a friend or loved one who lives far from their home? Or maybe a service member or college student who is missing home this holiday season? Send them some cookies and this cute little ornament to lift their spirits.

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\n\n", "date_published": "2023-11-10T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2023/11/10/a-time-to-build.html", "tags": ["Growth","Comfort","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2023/11/04/more-winter-prep.html", "title": "More Winter Prep", "content_html": "\n
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I’d love to have a staff like Martha Stewart. Just take all my great ideas and assign the bulk of the heavy lifting to my wonderfully creative staff and I could get SO much more done, right? I made the huge mistake of asking Mr. FixIt what he wanted for breakfast. In my mind, a nice bowl of cereal would have worked great with my schedule. However, my sweetheart set his sights on poached eggs and toast. So, poached eggs and toast it was. And, I’ve made a serious commitment to never leave the kitchen till the dishes are done and everything is wiped down and ready for the next meal.

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I sat down at the computer with my mushroom coffee. I got everything set up to work and got a solid hour in, but it wasn’t on NaNoWriMo. It was on a design I’ve had dancing around in my head that needed doing. When I went to get my second cup of RYZE, Mr. FixIt asked if I was ready to start mowing. Uhhhh, sure! With no second cup, I slipped on my shoes and went out to mulch up the leaves. The good part of that was only mowing over the outer 8-10’ of the perimeter because that’s where the leaves fall. It was actually a beautiful day…sweatshirt weather.

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Once I got that part of the job finished, I needed to fill the bird feeders for the first time this fall. I cleaned out the fridge in the camper and turned it off. I also went through the freezer in the garage and threw away anything that was freezer burned. I tidied up around the outside of the house and put away tools and things that we won’t be using anymore. I did some laundry. Everything looked neat and tidy when I was finished. 

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And it was time to make supper.

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I could complain that it is all I do…cook, clean, mow, write. Then I remember the poor people in Gaza who don’t have food and water. I have the absolute privilege of living in a comfortable home that isn’t being bombed. I don’t have to break the bank when something needs fixed. When I started supper and Mr. FixIt asked if we had French fries, I have the convenience of a car that runs and is full of gas and a store less than three miles away where I can buy good food. And I have a healthy husband to cook for. I thank God every day for all the many blessings in my life. It is a joy to just be alive!

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I had a couple of hours to myself last evening and got caught up on the things I wanted to do in the office. 

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Priorities. Privilege. Purpose. Prayer. I want for nothing.

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🍁

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“And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work.”

\n2 Corinthians 9:8 ESV\n
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Merry and Bright…this reminds me of two-color Norwegian Sweaters. Something nice and comforting on cold winter nights.

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\n\n", "date_published": "2023-11-04T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2023/11/04/more-winter-prep.html", "tags": ["Gratitude","Comfort","God"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2023/10/30/good-men-honor-their-wives.html", "title": "Good Men Honor Their Wives", "content_html": "\n
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Hiking the dunes on the Outer Banks with Mr. FixIt.

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Mr. FixIt continues to improve. He has a good appetite again. I was working on the computer in the afternoon and he called me to see if I would go to the store and get him some hotdogs and baked beans. He’s eating a lot of fruit and, of course, his Pineapple Upside Down Cake. It’s good to see that smile and his sunny disposition coming back. It’s hard not to give him a hug and a kiss, but I really don’t want to get sick and he would feel terrible if he gave me Covid. So we give a lot of “air kisses” as we pass each other.

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I spoke with my Uncle Bud the other night about the problems Mr. FixIt has been having with the furnace. He suggested we open it up and vacuum out every little crevice and tube we could reach and see if that would help. We did that yesterday. I asked Mr. FixIt to please wear a mask. He doesn’t need all that dust down in his lungs right now and he politely complied. When we turned the furnace back on, it lit up just like it was supposed to. We turned it off and on several times and it worked just right. It still gives off a peculiar odor outside so we still need to have someone come out and investigate that, but the furnace itself seems to be functioning normally now. Three cheers for my man!!!

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It rained here most of the day. Cold, low hanging clouds scudded across the sky. Wet leaves plastered themselves to every available surface. Telltale evidence of small critters getting into the walnuts was apparent near the back gate. I really don’t think it was anything big because I would have heard it out the bedroom window during the night. And there’s been nothing big enough to trip the security cameras to record.

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I fiddled on the computer all day, playing with some designs. It was all prep work so there’s nothing to show for it yet. Maybe tomorrow. I’ve desperately needed this rest. My body has craved down time. My mind is enjoying the gentle rhythms of these slow, rainy days. I do need to start attacking the family room and get that camping gear stowed away. I gave serious thought to sleeping in the camper last night because the low was only supposed to be 53°. But, I just didn’t have it in me to fight with the Asian Lady Beetles and Stink Bugs. I have to go out to the farm in the next couple of days to check the furnace and stoves. Maybe I’ll be able to sneak in an overnight for a little farm fix if Mr. FixIt is feeling up to it. 

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When I got off the phone with my uncle, I was thinking how he’s so much like my PopPop…kind, easy going, slow to anger…quick to love. Quick to love and honor their wives. I smiled when I realized…I married a man just like them. My uncle is handy, resourceful, and can fix anything…just like Mr. FixIt. He cared for my aunt and his sister to the very end. It makes me happy, and proud, to have a husband like the two men I looked up to the most in my formative years. My world feels settled and peaceful these days…something I’ve longed for all my life.

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🍁

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“Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.”

\n1 Peter 3:7 ESV\n
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We are heading into the Season of Thanksgiving. It is more than a day in which to overindulge in goodies or yell at the refs on TV or watch a parade. It’s a time to consider the blessings we have in our everyday lives. The unsettling circumstances of the world should be an impetus to give us pause…to reflect, to praise, and to feel gratitude for all we have.

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\n\n", "date_published": "2023-10-30T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2023/10/30/good-men-honor-their-wives.html", "tags": ["Faith","Health","Comfort","Choices","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2023/10/28/getting-some-much-needed-rest.html", "title": "Getting Some Much Needed Rest", "content_html": "\n
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Chewed up walnut hull.

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Well, something got into the bucket of black walnuts I left in the driveway. When I went out to check the mail yesterday, the evidence was left in a neat little pile along the edge of the concrete. No scat that I could find to identify the critter. I didn’t catch anything on the security camera that would identify the culprit either. So…no bear on the camera as of yet. Maybe Santa will bring me a couple really great trail cams for Christmas!

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Poor Mr. FixIt. He was maybe a smidgeon better yesterday. He has that deep chesty voice you get when you have a bad head cold and he’s still sneezing and has a runny nose. No fever today and he continues to take his antiviral medication. I thought for sure I was coming down with it Thursday night because I started getting a scratchy throat, but I slept like a log and woke up no worse for the wear. My Covid Test continues to be negative. So, either I have a very, very mild case or it’s the typical fall allergies that come when the leaves are on the ground getting moldy. I am staying out of Mr. FixIt’s face and washing my hands and everything else in hot soapy water.

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We had a phone visit with our Primary Care Provider yesterday morning and she said to continue what we’re doing…rest, drink plenty of fluids,Tylenol for aches and fever, diet as tolerated. Mr. FixIt was actually hungry yesterday and ate nearly a normal diet so that’s a good sign. I wish he could sleep better but when he lays down, the head congestion won’t let him rest. He did get a little napping done in his Big Red Chair and I’m sure that helped. It looks like he’s past the worst of it and I may just have dodged the bullet this go round.

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Other than playing nurse to my sweetheart, I didn’t do much either. I started reading my new Appalachian Cookbook and cant wait to try some of the recipes. I started going through the camping gear that is parked on the floor in our family room seeing what needs to be put away and what can just be stored over the winter in the “kitchen trunk.” Mr. FixIt getting Covid kinda put an end to the camping season for me. I could still go out and sleep in the camper if I wanted to, but the Asian Lady Beetles and Stink Bugs are thick as thieves out there and it’s not worth it getting up and down to suck them up in the hand held vacuum. 

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Our weather has been warm this week, but next week will bring a big turn in the temperatures so this furnace thing has to be figured out. Mr. FixIt has a couple more things he wants to check out, but he can’t while he’s this sick. Maybe by Monday he’ll be more up for it. We’ll see. In the meantime, it really does feel good to just sit and read with a nice cup of tea after the crazy busy summer we’ve had. 

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🍁

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“In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.”

\nPsalm 4:8 ESV\n
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Fighting the anxiety of nightfall as a new widow was made somehow a little easier with a fuzzy blanket wrapped tightly around me. This was my go-to verse for the night time ritual of trying to calm my brain.

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\n\n", "date_published": "2023-10-28T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2023/10/28/getting-some-much-needed-rest.html", "tags": ["Comfort","Peace","Widow","Anxiety"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2023/10/21/cold-and-rainy-days-call.html", "title": "Cold and Rainy Days Call for Comfort Food!", "content_html": "\n
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A sesame seed brioche bun is the perfect canvas for this savory pulled pork topped with Duke’s Moonshine Barbecue Sauce.

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There’s something so cozy about a chilly, rainy day in West Virginia. The clouds are  grey and heavy with rain. Periodic downpours plink-plink-plink on the exhaust pipes stick out of the roof. I spent the morning on the computer in the office. I didn’t accomplish much other than cleaning and organizing so I can work more easily. I brought some more things in from the camper…my knitting, primarily. But I didn’t take the time to work on it. I will soon.

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After tossing the chunks of pork in the dry rub to coat evenly, the initial sear creates a crust on the meat that keeps the flavor sealed in!

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When Mr. FixIt went to town on Thursday, I asked him to get me a good sized Boston Butt roast. We both love roast pork. Sometimes I just make it fairly unseasoned so I can serve it in several different ways. But when I’m feeling all bougie-like, I make Dutch Oven Pulled Pork from Our Salty Kitchen.  Honestly, it’s the best pulled pork I’ve ever made and is a reliable recipe, time after time. We had pulled pork sandwiches last night for supper. SO delicious!

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You only add one half cup of water to the Dutch oven and the meat braises in it’s own juices, rendering down into its own “barbecue sauce.”

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Another taste treat I pull out of the cupboard on cold days is my faithful tin of Blue Lotus Chai. It is a traditional Masala Chai. It’s something to be savored. I love it, but I’ve had this same tin for ages. I divvy it out like gold. I was really feeling it yesterday because I had THREE cups! I’ll probably be buzzing all night! I usually add a decaf teabag to the cup for a little richer flavor. Sweeten how you like. And I used about a quarter cup of Silk Original Almond Milk. I worked at the desk, sipping my chai, and listening to the rain out the window. What an incredibly relaxing afternoon!

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Masala Chai…it comes with its own tiny wooden spoon for measuring out about a quarter teaspoon per cup.

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This is such a treat…slowing down and nesting after being on the go since…well, all year, really. Mr. FixIt went to town yesterday to get a part for the furnace and, unfortunately, that didn’t fix the problem. It’s supposed to be pretty chilly this weekend and we’ll probably be doing without the furnace, but I have all the trust in the world in my husband’s abilities. He can fix anything!

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Mmmmmm….leftovers!

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Today will probably be spent much the same way. I do need to do some designs for the shop and get back in the swing with that. I kind of slacked off during our trip. I’m sure the rain and wind will bring down much of the beautiful color we saw earlier in the week. The woods look so lonely and bare when they’ve been stripped of their foliage. That’s when the long, dark nights of winter become a little harder to take. I’m vowing to keep myself active and occupied all winter so I don’t get the “grey gloomies” like I usually do!

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🍁

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“Give us this day our daily bread,”

\nMatthew 6:11 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2023-10-21T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2023/10/21/cold-and-rainy-days-call.html", "tags": ["Comfort","Farm Life","Cooking","In the Kitchen"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2023/09/30/we-did-a-thing.html", "title": "We Did a Thing", "content_html": "\n
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We love our new camper. It’s the perfect size to tow. It’s lightweight. It has every amenity you need…except for a comfortable place to sit. There is a slide out, which is great because it gives you more foot space and you aren’t crawling over each other. However, there is a dinette in the slide that is the most uncomfortable seating I have ever seen in a camper. The table is mounted way too high and even with losing over twenty-five pounds has me feeling like I’m sitting at the kiddies’ table.

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It’s not easy to find affordable furniture that will go through the narrow door of a camper. You can find some cheap, entry level padded bench-type love seats. Or you can buy something from IKEA that you have to put together like Tinker Toys. What we really wanted was a loveseat that’s actually made for an RV…preferable one that reclines. These are made with weight and size in mind but man, are they pricey!

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We’ve been checking online and even on FB Marketplace. Sometimes people take furniture out of their campers and do something different and they sell the items, but we didn’t have much luck. Mr. FixIt went to town yesterday and decided to stop at one of the two local RV dealers. They happened to have exactly what we were looking for! He’s a wheeler-dealer, this man of mine. He didn’t want to pay what they wanted. It was a difference of $200. The dealer went down a little on the price but wasn’t going any lower than that. Mr. FixIt was going to walk away.

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We are preparing to leave Wednesday for the beach for two weeks. It’s October. We very likely will have rain storms while we’re there and the only place to sit is this dinette and it kills our backs. So, I voted and appealed to his back pain and won. We picked it up and brought it home. And now we have to take the dinette out and set this in. I’m SO excited, I could plotz! I sat in this thing. It’s MILES ahead of the dinette. And, each side reclines independently…nearly flat! This means, in a pinch…it could be used for extra sleeping.

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I have a place to knit! And to sit while I write! I’ll take the dinette out carefully and maybe someone might want it on Marketplace. I’m doing the happy dance over here. This will make the trip to the beach so much better! The only thing that might stand in our way at this point is weather…or possibly a government shutdown. The campground where we’re staying is in a National Park. Whether we get to camp or not is small potatoes compared to people going without paychecks! We’ll deal with the hand we’re given…one way or the other.

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?

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“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”

\nGalatians 6:9 NIV\n
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Here’s a cute “Merry Christmas” ornament you can personalize. Just choose the Initial you want in the center and the name and year. These make great keepsakes for generations to come!

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Shop Now

\n\n", "date_published": "2023-09-30T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2023/09/30/we-did-a-thing.html", "tags": ["Camping","Comfort","Grace"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2023/09/07/in-over-my-head.html", "title": "In Over My Head", "content_html": "\n
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I will be the first to admit, I’ve never been the best at keeping house. I mean…it’s not dirty. There aren’t roaches or bedbugs. But, I’m just like my grandma…I would MUCH rather be outside on the tractor or with my hands in the dirt or writing or doing art or camping. Let’s face it, I would rather be doing just about anything besides housework.

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It gets particularly bad in the summer. Between camping and mowing, things just get put down…not put away. Mr. FixIt is one of the most patient people I’ve ever met. I drove all three of my other husbands crazy with my messy piles and things you have to walk around. So, the other night when I heard a slight hint of aggravation in his voice as he declared there wasn’t any place in the kitchen to set something down, I knew I’d just about pushed the envelope as far as I dared go.

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I got up way before my sweetheart and headed in to the kitchen first thing yesterday morning. I fixed my yummy cup of RYZE Mushroom Coffee and set to work. The first thing was to go through the spices. It’s been a few years since I had and they really needed cleared out and out of date stuff tossed. I took out the Lazy Susans and gave them a good wash and wiped down the inside of the cupboards. Once the outdated spices were gone, I put just what I needed back in the cabinet and the ones I use the most in the basket next to the stove.

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Ever since the covid lockdown and my foray into baking sourdough, there have been four huge jars of different varieties of flour on the counter. Between them and my Kitchen Aid stand mixer, they were taking up entirely too much room. I couldn’t tackle that until I worked on the storage shelves in the hall in back of the kitchen. Again, covid found me canning to my heart’s content and some of the things I canned just missed the mark. Like all that butternut squash. 

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I don’t know if they were a little two ripe or if it’s normal for them to pretty much turn into a soggy mess, but they never looked appealing to me. I had about twenty pints of it canned in 2020 and I’d never once cooked with it. I also had about ten pints of bread and butter pickled zucchini. I don’t know what I was thinking when I put these up, but I just put a couple teaspoons of Pickling Spice in each jar. In my mind, they were going to be softened by the canning process. Not so much. They were like eating pickles with potpourri in them. I always felt they tasting like I swept up the sidewalk and just dumped it in my pickles. I knew we were never going to eat them either, so out they went!

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With the shelves all cleaned and reorganized, I had room to put the large jars of flour on the bottom shelf, thus making more room in my galley kitchen. After washing all the dishes and jars and putting them away, I was finished for the day. My accomplishment? I cleaned one cupboard and about three feet of counter space. But it’s a start. Mr. FixIt came home from his trip to town to pick up the new garage door and I helped him unload it. It started thundering at 9:30 last night so we went out and covered it with a tarp to keep the box from getting wet.

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I discovered something new for supper. I’ve been craving Mexican food, so I bought some Taco Seasoned Ground Turkey and fixed lo-cal burritos for supper. They were really good. I used Ole Brand High Protein Tortillas (that are only fifty calories each), a couple tablespoons full of the ground turkey, a generous pinch of finely grated low fat mozzarella cheese, and a serving spoon of my home canned pinto beans. I added shredded lettuce and a generous spoonful of salsa and it was a low fat, quick, and yummy meal!

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Mr. FixIt has to go to town again today to do something for his friend Joe. He’s also going to get the oil changed and tires rotated on my truck for me. I’m staying home and continuing on the big purge of the pantry next. I know I always feel so much more at ease when my environment is tidy. It’s just so hard to get it and keep it that way.

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?

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“Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people.”

\nColossians 3:23 NLT\n
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Boo Pumpkins!

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Shop Now

\n\n", "date_published": "2023-09-07T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2023/09/07/in-over-my-head.html", "tags": ["Comfort","Choices","Farm Life","Control"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2023/09/06/i-was-hoping-for-a.html", "title": "I Was Hoping for a Home Day", "content_html": "\n
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No such luck. My second “stay at home day” developed into yet another trip into town. Mr. FixIt had a prescription ready. We each take several prescriptions…each filled with a ninety day supply. One would think we could somehow get all of our meds at the same time and go to the pharmacy once every…what is that? Oh, yeah…ninety days! But nooooooo…seldom do both of us get a refill at the same time. So, there’s always another trip to town and I get pretty tired of it. But, it is what it is, right? Let it go, Ginny. Just let it go.

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We did get a lot done in a really short amount of time this trip. We each got our flu shot and I got a tetanus booster. I cut my finger Sunday night and my PCP said if I ever got a cut or scrap to go get my tetanus booster so Medicare will pay for it. I would have loved to go walk in the park, but it was 92° in the shade and I was getting hangry. We got home right around dark. I fixed us a couple of pulled pork sandwiches and dished out the last of the Cucumber, Onion, and Tomato Salad. We each had a little of my Homemade Roasted Red Pepper Hummus and some oven toasted crisps. With watermelon for dessert! 

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I packaged up the last of the pulled pork, divided into four meals, and put it in the freezer. We can only eat so much before we burn out on it and I hate to throw food away. We can pop the frozen packets in the camper freezer when we travel the next couple weeks and have ready made suppers.

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We shopped for a garage door yesterday to replace the one the Lincoln went through. Hopefully one of Mr. FixIt’s buddy’s will come help him put it in. He’s thinking he’ll stay home next week and let me go camping on my own with the girls. That way he doesn’t have to rush to get it done by Monday. Besides, Gail and I will just be sitting at the campground knitting and talking and he can only take so much of that. We’ll be camping together the following week, so he won’t miss out on much.

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When I came out to the camper to write last night, I noticed the sky was much darker than it was the other night. The moon is waning so each night gets progressively darker till the New Moon. I put my things in the camper and took the easel out to get some shots. It never fails. I shoot anywhere from ten to twenty pictures and may get one or two good ones. I really liked this one. The stars were so bright and the Milky Way was over toward the SW horizon.

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I cherish every moment I can spend outside at this time of the year. Because…it won’t be long at all till we can’t come out and sit at night. We’ll be stuck in the house for months. I read that the mountains east of Salt Lake City got snow on Monday night! Yikes!

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?

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“Look up into the heavens. Who created all the stars? He brings them out like an army, one after another, calling each by its name. Because of his great power and incomparable strength, not a single one is missing.”

\nIsaiah 40:26 NLT\n
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Autumn Leaves Teach Us The Art of Letting Go

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Shop Now

\n\n", "date_published": "2023-09-06T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2023/09/06/i-was-hoping-for-a.html", "tags": ["Comfort","goRVing","Stars"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2023/08/09/its-always-an-adventure.html", "title": "It’s Always an Adventure!", "content_html": "\n
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I took this picture Monday night before another wave of rain hit. If you zoom in, just on the far side of the pollinator garden on the left, you can see my little buck that comes to see me every evening at Marshmallow Ranch. He’s a handsome fellow.

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We ran to town yesterday to pick up a prescription and some fresh produce from the farm stand. On the way home, I told Mr. FixIt I was going to fix supper then go back out to the farm since my stay was interrupted on Monday. I got here about 8:00pm and stopped to talk to the neighbors across the road. By the time I got to the house, the power was out again. A huge tree fell across the road at 2:00 yesterday morning and took out the power lines. The electric came back on at 10:00 and was on the rest of the day…till I got here.

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I used the neighbors’ phone to call Mr. FixIt because I knew he’d be worried. I always check in as soon as I get here. The power company said the power would be back on by 11 o’clock and it came on at 10:45. I was laying here in the dark and thinking about a few things. I need to be sure to have some form of light out here. I have my big spotlight but the battery won’t last forever. I thought about my Aunt Peeps living out here at 83 during the derecho of 2012. It was about this time of year…really hot and sticky. And she didn’t have power for over a week!

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So…no electric. No phone. No water. Darker than a dungeon. And you know what? The thing that bothered me the most was not being able to write! And then…by the time the electric came on, I was past my window of creativity. So I’ll close with Mr. FixIt’s favorite line.

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It’s always an adventure with Ginny McKinney!

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?

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““You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.”

\nMatthew 5:14-16 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2023-08-09T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2023/08/09/its-always-an-adventure.html", "tags": ["The Farm","Comfort","Farm Life"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2023/07/18/counting-on-god-to-keep.html", "title": "Counting on God to Keep Us Safe", "content_html": "\n
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Land’s sake…it sure was hot here yesterday! We drove up to the mountain town I lived in for twenty-eight years. Coming through the mountains presented a different vista around every turn. And again, God kept us safe. Just moments after we drove through the Eisenhower Tunnel, a car caught fire right inside the tunnel! The traffic had slowed down just as we headed in and remarked to Mr. FixIt how I hate going in when it looks like that. Turns out there was a reason for my unease, but God got us through it unscathed. Thank you, Jesus. 

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Further along, just past Vail, we saw a large number of first responders over in the eastbound lanes. We couldn’t tell what was going on when we passed. There were no cars wrecked and there were a dozen or so cyclists standing along the guard rail. When we arrived at our hotel, I looked it up on the Vail news and saw the story. Apparently there was a man fishing along the edge of the Gore River which flows briskly through there. He had a dog with him. Then a man and woman who were cycling by saw the man slip in the river and head downstream. A group of cyclists ran to the rescue and managed to get the man out of the water. Unfortunately, from what I can find, they hadn’t seen the dog again. I hope they found it. 

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We were going to go straight to the hotel and check in, but we got to town earlier than we thought we would so we went to visit my brother. As it turns out, he wasn’t at the day program so we backtracked and went to his house for a visit. He’s still adjusting to his new surroundings and has been somewhat resistant to making some of the changes that he needs to make. After we said our initial hellos, I asked him how he was doing and he said it was a long story. I told him I was all ears and he said no, he needed to talk to Mr. FixIt…man to man. 

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I have the dearest husband on the planet. He said, “Sure thing, buddy.” He closed the door after me and the fellas sat and talked for about 45 minutes. When they came out, lo and behold, my brother said he knew he needed to do the things that were suggested and he was going to commit to it. He needs to do these things for his own health and safety. Knowing he’s not going to fight the extra help made me breathe a sigh of relief. He just feels bad asking for help, but Mr. FixIt made him understand what he’s going through is completely normal and it’s ok to ask for help with personal things.

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We left him feeling happier and more settled and we went to check into the hotel. By this time, we were more than ready for supper so we headed to Chili’s. They have some good selections for those making healthy dietary choices. I had Ancho Salmon, seasoned rice, and a double order of steamed broccoli. Yummmm!

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We’ll have a slow morning then go to visit my brother at the day program again. We stay another night then head back to Denver tomorrow. We’re really winding down the trip now. We’ll be back home on the 31st! 

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Hope you are taking care during this heat wave! It was 102° here yesterday! Stay hydrated and take frequent breaks, my friends!!!

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?

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“In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, O Lord, will keep me safe.”

\nPsalms 4:8 NLT\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2023-07-18T00:00:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2023/07/18/counting-on-god-to-keep.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Comfort"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2023/05/29/memorial-day.html", "title": "Memorial Day", "content_html": "\n
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When I think of Memorial Day, the two prominent images it brings to mind is a huge tree at the cemetery where my dad’s people are buried…and this photo of my Uncle Sonny. I remember all the military members of my family but we didn’t just decorate those graves. We decorated and remembered everyone we’ve lost over the years. 

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The big tree isn’t there anymore. The derecho of 2012 took that monster out…tearing it in half. Somewhere in my mom’s collection of photos is one with my brother and me at the cemetery decorating graves. We used to put on our Sunday best, pack a picnic lunch, and set up boards on sawhorses right there in the cemetery to eat our fried chicken and potato salad and watermelon. I was stunned when I learned there were actually people who didn’t do that every year!

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The photo of my Uncle Sonny sat on the buffet in grandma’s dining room for as long as I can remember. He was killed in a plane crash just a month before I turned two. Mom said he loved me silly…he carried a picture of me nekkid on a rug in his wallet. I wish I could have known him and by the hundreds of tales and photos, I feel in a way that I did. I do know this…he was a believer and I will see him one day in Heaven with my people!

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Mr. Virgo was in the Army as was his farther. My dad was in what was called the Army Air Corps…the predecessor to the Air Force. All of my fathers-in-law were military men. My step-mother was career Navy. So I remember them all this day. And all the others who have gone before me. 

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Mr. FixIt and I will go decorate graves sometime this week. I need to go to the farm for a couple of days to be there for the telephone company to hook up the new fiber optic lines. Here we are, just two miles from the county seat and we barely have cell service, but way out that winding old road of my youth…they have fiber optic. Good for them! Ours will come one of these days.

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I hope you have good memories of your loved ones today, and that you are able to honor them in some way. May their memories bring you comfort.

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“All gave some….some gave all.”

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Thank you…and may you rest in peace.

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??????????

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“Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”

\nJohn 15:13 NIV\n
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Sympathy Comforter

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Shop Now

\n\n", "date_published": "2023-05-29T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2023/05/29/memorial-day.html", "tags": ["Family","Comfort","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2023/05/14/mothers-day-isnt-always-easy.html", "title": "Mother’s Day Isn’t Always Easy", "content_html": "\n
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Budding Peony

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I remember the empty feeling when the first Mother’s Day rolled around after my mom died. I didn’t know what to do with my feelings. It’s different now that it’s been nineteen years, but that doesn’t mean my heart doesn’t still ache for my mom. I dreamt of her Friday night. It was nebulous and hazy, but I knew I was with her and my heart was full when I woke up.

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There are many reasons Mother’s Day might be hard for you. Maybe you’re mom’s still here but she’s suffering the ravages of a medical condition. Maybe she has dementia and no longer remembers you. Maybe you’re mom’s alive, but you’ve been estranged and you haven’t spoken in years. Maybe that’s better for you both and you know being involved would just bring more trauma and pain. Maybe you didn’t know your mom at all and you just want these warm, fuzzy Hallmark holidays to be over with. Maybe you couldn’t have babies or you chose not to. Maybe your babies are furry and funny and full of unconditional love for you.

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I remember after losing my mom, other people being showered with love on their special day made me so jealous. And angry. I don’t think my mom should have died the way she did. I think it was preventable, but I didn’t do anything about it because my aunt talked me out of pursuing any legal avenues. So I was left to do what we women do. I picked myself up by the bootstraps and moved forward without her.

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“Wanda Belle”

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Every Sunday evening, I still think of calling her. We spoke often, but Sunday evenings were sacrosanct. Our conversations were almost exclusively about her and my brother’s health. When they’d been to the doctor last. What new medicine they were on. It used to frustrate me because it was so depressing. But here’s the deal. You have no idea how that silent eye rolling will come back to bite you many years later. I catch myself doing the same thing from time to time and I apologize. If it’s nothing the girls can do anything for, there’s no reason to burden them with all that kvetching. My youngest said, “Mom…don’t apologize. We talk about what’s going on in our lives and you are in a place where medical appointments start ticking upward. You talk about what you’re doing. It’s perfectly normal.”

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I love my girls. I haven’t always been the best mom. But I’ve been the best mom I could be with the knowledge I had at the time. And, like Maya Angelou said…when I knew better, I did better. I hope my girls understand that.

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I hope you are blessed this Mother’s Day. I hope you find peace wherever you are on the Motherhood Spectrum.   

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“As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you...””

\nIsaiah 66:13 NIV\n
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No ads on Sundays to honor the Lord’s Day. I pray your day is filled with peace, love, and comfort.

\n\n", "date_published": "2023-05-14T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2023/05/14/mothers-day-isnt-always-easy.html", "tags": ["Grief","Comfort","Love","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2023/05/02/its-a-new-day.html", "title": "It’s a New Day!", "content_html": "\n
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I have been nearly sedentary since I started the new project and I can really tell the difference in my stamina. I’ll soon turn seventy and I’ll be darned if I’m going to just continue to slide downhill. I need to keep myself in better health for many more reasons than just looking and feeling better.  So, I made a decision over the weekend and signed up for Noom. I looked at the differences between toughing it out on my own or doing TOPS or Weight Watchers. I knew I didn’t want to do one of the prepared food diets. I did HMR a couple of times in the past and it worked but was really pricey. The thing I like about Noom is the app has continual support and education. I like the psychological approach to weight loss because, not only is it scientific…it’s also totally wrapped up in the WHY we overeat. 

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I wasn’t going to say anything about it till I saw if it worked or not, but…who am I kidding? I talk about EVERYTHING here and I can’t be the only one who has to deal with this at this stage of the game. Remember back in 2015-16 when I had a personal trainer and I lost a lot of weight? I know I can do it. And I believe I can do it again…and keep it off this time. I just fall off the wagon and get lazy. But it is truly getting to the point where it’s life or death. I signed up for seven months of premium service for $147.00. That’s $21 a month…easily paid for by the savings from skipping desserts and fast food.

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I’m feeling hopeful about this. Those Facebook Memories just keep showing me how big I’ve gotten and I don’t want to feel like this…no energy, my clothes don’t fit me right…if at all, and its a course I don’t care to indulge in anymore. We had errands to run in town yesterday. I asked Mr. FixIt if he would like to go to the mall to walk. He can’t walk fast like he used to, but I can’t burn calories if I walk at his pace. So we each did our own thing and met back up when we were done. 

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We stopped at our favorite diner and I had that great big washtub of a salad they have and I am feeling pretty good about my accomplishments for the first day. I walked 3.45 miles and it didn’t kill me! Let’s go girls…anyone want to eat healthier and go on virtual walks with me? It’ll be easier with company!

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It is so cold and gloomy and rainy here in the Mid Ohio Valley. I looked up the weather forecast for mid-May when we’re going camping and it will be in the 70’s to low 80’s. That will be perfect camping weather with 50’s for sleeping! Wahooooo!!!

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?

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“When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is mankind that you are mindful of them, human beings that you care for them?”

\nPsalms 8:3-4 NIV\n
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“Take the Long Way Home” You need a hoodie for every season. This heavy duty sweatshirt is warm and toasty for sitting out under the stars…whether you’re camping or not!

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Shop Now

\n\n", "date_published": "2023-05-02T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2023/05/02/its-a-new-day.html", "tags": ["Camping","Comfort","Fitness"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2023/03/24/mrs-fixit-to-the-rescue.html", "title": "Mrs. FixIt to the Rescue!", "content_html": "\n
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I had no electricity in the camper Wednesday night. I was toasty warm so we seem to be past the cold weather now!

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I woke up bright and early yesterday and got started working on my project. It was 7:30 and the house was quiet as Mr. FixIt snoozed away. The day broke cloudy and grey and it started warming up in a hurry. It got up to 76° yesterday! It kept looking like rain but none came. 

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Mr. FixIt headed to town after breakfast to pick up a new ground fault interrupter outlet for the camper. He is so good to let me do things because he knows how much I enjoy it. He offered the occasional bit of wisdom when I was momentarily stumped…but always with a note of encouragement. I had the outlet out and switched in no time, but only the bottom plugin worked. We pulled it back out and looked at it an the only think we could figure was I had the top wires in the wrong holes. I switched them and voila! Worked like magic! Everything turned on like it was supposed to so all is well with “Grace”. Campers are finicky creatures and can get a little bug up their snoot from time to time. It’s nice to have the skills to keep up with the maintenance and repairs.

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I decided to break up my spring cleaning into doable segments so I can multitask. I worked on the spare room yesterday. My cousin is coming for a visit next month. I want to have that room ready for her so I’m not rushing at the end. We’re going to be at the beach the week before she arrives so I’ll need to be ready ahead of time. 

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It was still quite warm when I went to the back of the house to write last night. I propped myself up with pillows and opened the windows wide to let the fresh air in that’s one of the best parts of spring…flinging open the windows and a ring out the house. It’s no wonder people get sick in the winter. We’re closed up tight with other people sharing our air. It feels like being released from prison once the weather warms up enough to open the windows.

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They are predicting locally heavy rainfall here over the next few days. Mr. FixIt went out to the creek to have a look at the storm drain to make sure it is clear. Knock on wood…we haven’t had a bit of water to clean up in the laundry room since we started putting that root killer down the drain. We put it down once a month or so and keep the end at the creek cleared out and so far, so good!

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I can’t tell you how wonderful it feels in here as I’m writing this. It’s a little slice of heaven!

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?

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“Ask rain from the Lord in the season of the spring rain, from the Lord who makes the storm clouds, and he will give them showers of rain, to everyone the vegetation in the field.”

\nZechariah 10:1 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2023-03-24T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2023/03/24/mrs-fixit-to-the-rescue.html", "tags": ["Camping","Comfort","Farm Life"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2023/03/14/thoughts-on-grief-and-loss.html", "title": "Thoughts on Grief and Loss", "content_html": "\n
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I ran across this picture yesterday. It was taken in Rocky Mountain National Park one sunny fall afternoon. Mr. Virgo had his cameras and long lens and was shooting photos of the surrounding mountains. The meadows were full of elk, coyotes, rabbits and who knows what. The sky was perfect and there was a gentle breeze blowing. It rustled the dried grasses in waves of gold. 

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I brought my pastels with me to capture one of my favorite scenes in the park. The backdrop of purple mountains and the foreground of fall colors was separated by a band of red stick dogwood. The sun was just warm enough to ward off the autumn chill blowing over the early snow on the surrounding peaks. I was lucky enough to spend a few hours there…doing my best to capture the raw beauty around me.

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I never finished that piece. I found it tucked away when I was preparating to sell the Colorado house and downsizing my life into what would fit in a few boxes. Unfortunately, it was smudged and something had stained it in the years since. It was beyond repair and I threw it out. Someday I’m going to go back there and try it again….maybe this summer when Mr. FixIt and I go for our annual visit to see my Colorado peeps.

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I didn’t work a lot yesterday. I slept like a stone till 11:00. I guess I’ve needed the extra rest the last couple of weeks. I saw on FB that a friend lost her most special person a week or so ago. She couldn’t understand where everyone went off to. She had so many people calling her and messaging her in the days following her loss, then they mysteriously disappeared. She was blaming herself and apologizing for “not handling this better.”

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I felt so bad for her because I have a pretty good idea what she’s going through. While everyone’s grief is different, there runs a deep thread of understanding anyone’s loss after going through your own. I reached out and reminded her that most people really don’t know what to say when someone has experienced a profound loss. They think if they contact you, they are somehow going to cause you more pain because they're “reminding you of your loss”…as if you might have suddenly forgotten your heart is shattered in a million pieces on the floor.

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I reminded her the reaction of others is no reflection of who she is but who they are…in their own pain or inexperience. I pleaded with her to understand how much she is loved and she is not alone and people haven’t deserted her. People have lives and things to attend to like jobs and families and matters of their own. Their lives haven’t come to a standstill like hers has. Most of them don’t get it…yet.

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I look forward to a time when the bereaved won’t have to feel like they’re doing something wrong when they mourn their loss. I don’t want anyone who grieves to have to do so silently thinking no one care or remembers your person. Or worse, to feel like you’re a bother. No one who grieves is a bother. It’s ok to feel your feelings and express your outrage…your pain…your frustration. In time, the need to purge lessens. A sense of control comes back. You’re never who you were before but you’ll find a way to hold your grief while opening your arms to others who have experienced loss themselves. And the more we open our arms, the more healing comes in.

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It’s never gone…this empty space stays with us forever. We just learn how to walk around the holes in our hearts and not fall in all the time.

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?

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“And when the chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the unfading crown of glory.”

\n1 Peter 5:4 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2023-03-14T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2023/03/14/thoughts-on-grief-and-loss.html", "tags": ["Grief","Comfort","Healing"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2023/03/11/just-thinking.html", "title": "Just Thinking", "content_html": "\n
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The view near Mr. Virgo’s gravesite.

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I awoke at the first blush of dawn. The sky was gray and gloomy and a misty rain fell as the morning light slowly brought the hedgerow into focus. As has happened often the last couple week, my mind went into comparison mode. It seems my life has clearly delineated blocks of time as though I’ve actually lived several different lives. I suppose that is true to come extent for all of us. My major divisions, looking through the wide-angle lens that is 20/20, seem to be “before Mr. Virgo died”, “after Mr.Virgo died”, and…”now.” 

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I’ve looked back over the time surrounding his death and remember some things so vividly. Others are a blur. The one thing I really remember is the week leading up to his death and the “messages” I kept getting. I had dreams of waking up to find him cold and dead beside my in the bed. I heard voices as clear as day saying, “This is what he’ll look like when he’s dead.” And finally…”He’s going to die today.” 

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And…he did.

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Anyone who has gone through such great loss knows the time following the death of a very close loved one knows your mind is gone…not to be trusted…nearly (if not totally) certifiable. It took me several years to rally into some vague form of who I was before. Never totally, but a little closer as the years went by. As I laid in bed yesterday morning, listening to the rain on the roof above me, I contemplated where I am today as opposed to ten years ago. 

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When the light became bright enough to see around the room, I slipped out of bed and padded into the kitchen to put the kettle on. It was not quite 6:00am and Mr. FixIt was still quietly snoozing. I dressed and took my tea to the living room. I have always enjoyed the quiet time in the house before anyone else has awakened. It’s quiet and peaceful. I didn’t turn on the TV or the radio. I just sad in the Big Red Chair and listened to the birds chasing each other around the feeders just beyond the window in the family room while I sipped my tea.

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Thursday had been quite a busy day and I decided we should just hang out at home and relax yesterday. I’m so glad we did. It felt so good to not have to be anywhere or do anything. I loved it so much, I may just do it again tomorrow. Although, I had a reminder in the mail. We received the invitation to one of the WV granddaughter’s wedding and I really MUST get back to that quilt top. I went over the “Big Project” yesterday with a fine toothed comb and I think I’m just about ready for the grand reveal. So now’s as good a time as any to get back to my sewing nook and get that quilt finished!

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It’s pretty chilly here with a slight chance of flurries over the weekend. I can take it…I’ve seen the promise of spring. She’ll be back!

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?

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“Let us know; let us press on to know the Lord; his going out is sure as the dawn; he will come to us as the showers, as the spring rains that water the earth.””

\nHosea 6:3 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2023-03-11T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2023/03/11/just-thinking.html", "tags": ["Grief","Comfort","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2023/02/15/valentines.html", "title": "Valentines", "content_html": "\n
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Mr. FixIt finished cutting in around the doors, the top, and the bottom of the walls yesterday. We were going to tag team and he took the first shift. We didn’t count on the handy edging gizmo to work so well and he was done in less than thirty minutes. I continued to work on this project. I’ve hit several stumbling blocks, but I think I’m back on track now. The learning curve is fierce. Or…maybe it’s my brain that’s not as spry as it used to be. Who knows? 

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After my sweetheart snoozed in his Big Red Chair, we decided to go to town for pizza as our Valentine’s Day celebration. We weren’t sure where to try. We’re disappointed with our usual place. And there are several in town that people rave over but we wouldn’t give them the time of day. Too expensive. Too greasy. Too dodgy. Finally, we settled on a tiny little hole in the wall over in Belpre called Smitty’s. 

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I have to tell you…my first little slice was unimpressive. But by the second….oh, yum! It wasn’t by any means my favorite pizza ever, but it was decidedly passable. We sat along the Ohio River overlooking the mansion on Blennerhassett Island. The water was like glass and reflected the sycamores and the grand manse with precision. We munched out on our Italian delight and enjoyed the peace and quiet along with four or five other cars with folks doing the same thing.

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Afterwards, we went to the Kroger store and bought a cake. Not just any cake. A Black and White cake like the one the kids brought Mr. FixIt for his birthday. This cake is so delicious, I’m hard pressed as to which side I like the best. The chocolate doesn’t seem to make my tummy hurt like eating chocolate candy so I get the same flavor. I think we should cut it up in slices and freeze some of it so we don’t just finish it of as fast as we can. It’s that good.

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We came on home and enjoyed our evening together. We are each other’s best valentine! Mr. FixIt picked up the kraft paper that was taped down in the hallway. Thank GOODNESS! Have you ever seen a video of a cat with a piece of scotch tape stuck to her paw? She’ll jerk around trying to shake that off…tiptoeing and prancing around like crazy. That’s what we’ve been doing walking on that crackly kraft paper for the last several days. I’m SO glad it’s gone now!

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We have to start doing more projects now. Today’s high is supposed to be 73°! We’re going to uncover the Big Birdhouse and get her set up and cleaned so we can advertise her for sale this week. Same with Joy, the ‘67 Franklin. They both have to go to new homes. Our list is long and our time is short. Not the best recipe for success…but succeed, we shall!

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?

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“Oh! Teach us to live well! Teach us to live wisely and well! Come back, God—how long do we have to wait?— and treat your servants with kindness for a change. Surprise us with love at daybreak; then we’ll skip and dance all the day long. Make up for the bad times with some good times; we’ve seen enough evil to last a lifetime. Let your servants see what you’re best at— the ways you rule and bless your children. And let the loveliness of our Lord, our God, rest on us, confirming the work that we do. Oh, yes. Affirm the work that we do!”

\nPsalms 90:12-17 MSG\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2023-02-15T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2023/02/15/valentines.html", "tags": ["Growth","Comfort","Love","Choices","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2023/02/12/grief-isnt-something-to-fix.html", "title": "Grief Isn’t Something to Fix", "content_html": "\n
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When your car breaks down, you call a mechanic. When the drain is clogged, you call a plumber. When you’re sick with a fever, you call a doctor. But who do you call when your heart has been ripped out of your chest and you’re left standing there…holding it in your hands? And you’re still breathing? When it happened to me, believe it or not, the first person I called was Hubby #2. He was a doctor. He was my friend. He’d know what to do.

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There was a whole line of people who stepped up and surrounded me with the sweetest loving support. They held me. They cried with me. They prayed for me. They did everything they could for me and yet…no one could “fix” me. As much as I wanted that, it just wasn’t possible. There was only one person who could and I kept close company with Him. I pleaded every day for Jesus to come and sit with me and hold me close.

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Every day, I cried to God to take this off of me. He did not. I hated Him for taking my husband away. I bargained. I screamed. I threatened. But no matter what I did, He would not lift my grief till it ran its course on HIS time, not mine. It didn’t seem fair. It felt like I’d been robbed. And I was. Any of us who lose a part of ourselves through death understands exactly what I’m talking about.

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There are several of you reading who are walking through this dreadful journey, even as we speak. I know your heart is breaking. I know there is a thin line between fear and anger. I know you feel like a part of you died with your person…as real as if your arm had been amputated. I see you. I know you. I stood where you are standing. Maybe not in the exact same spot, but so similar as to make not a speck of difference.

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As I took my turn painting the hallway yesterday, my heart really wasn’t in it. Painting isn’t my most fun activity and my shoulder hurt and I was in the middle of something I’d much rather work on. I could have stood there grumbling, making myself even more miserable. Or, I could let my mind wander the paths it took me and I slowed my breathing and my brush strokes. I let the word association of analogies take over inside my head and let my arm go with the flow.

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It wasn’t long till the analogy came to me. There will always be people along your life journey that will want you to paint a clean coat of paint over your messy self so they don’t have to be uncomfortable being around you. Blunt, but true. I will hazard to say a rather large number of them have no idea what they’re doing is hurting you. Another percentage will have an understanding that what they’re asking of you isn’t terribly helpful, but they just don’t know what else to do. It has been my experience that very few of them are intentionally mean, but it’s not unheard of.

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There will be times in your grief where you need to gather up every bit of strength and slog through something you never dreamed you could do. There will be times when you cannot find the strength to get out of bed let alone anything truly functional. But please, mark my words, there will be moments of light in the darkness. When you can, string those moments together and wrap them around you like a strand of dim market lights that illuminate a few feet in every direction.

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Eventually, the color returns. You’ll notice music again. The seasons will change and so will you. Just be careful with those coats of paint. They’re easy to hide behind, but without facing the slings and arrows that are thrown at you, you will miss the gems God throws down in the flames of your life. Pick them up. Tuck them in your pockets. You may not understand what they are all about, but eventually, the Holy Spirit will reveal their meaning to you. Insights will come if you ask for them. 

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I know not all of you are believers, but I speak to everyone. Place your feet on the Earth and your face to the sky and ask the wind to whisper comfort to your poor broken heart. Ask for healing and wisdom and insight. Hand everything over at the end of the day. I know my God puts them in a special basket for safe keeping and hands them back to me in the morning. 

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And, you know what?

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That basket is always just a bit lighter the next day…sometimes a little, sometimes a lot. But always lighter.

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?

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“If your heart is broken, you’ll find God right there; if you’re kicked in the gut, he’ll help you catch your breath.”

\nPsalms 34:18 MSG\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2023-02-12T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2023/02/12/grief-isnt-something-to-fix.html", "tags": ["Grief","Comfort","God","Healing"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2023/01/12/farm-sweet-farm.html", "title": "Farm Sweet Farm!", "content_html": "\n
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Oh…the soothing sound of rain on the tin roof! The smell of old wood and home. The feeling of love around every corner. This old house is like a great big hug and it makes me smile. I was up pretty early and made pancakes and tea for breakfast. I needed to pull some things together on my laptop and what I thoroughly expected to only take a couple of hours ended up being an all day chore.

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I was going to knit. That didn’t happen. I was going to read. Nope. But, I’m working on a project and I made some good progress. I’m not ready to talk about it yet…it’s still in the formative stage. But I’m hoping it will be fun, productive, and maybe bring in a little money. We’ll see! 

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I did have time for a few phone calls. My dear friend Gail called to say her kids lost a dear family member and asked for prayers. I chatted with my sister/friend in Florida. I had a lovely long phone call with Arlene, my Uncle Sonny’s fiancé. She would have been my aunt, but Uncle Sonny was killed in a plane crash before they could walk down the aisle. 

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My reading nook at the farm…Grandma’s Window.

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I worked on the toilet a little. It keeps running and I finally figured out what needs fixed. It’s an easy job. We’ll get it done somewhere down the line. I heated up leftover spaghetti for supper and it was wonderful. I always think spaghetti and chili tastes so much better on the second or third day. Have you ever had the pasta that comes in a bag? You microwave it for sixty seconds and its hot and ready to eat! I’m going to get some of those for camping! I finished off the Hummingbird Cake that I brought with me, too. 

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Mr. FixIt called me several times yesterday. It’s the funniest thing. We feel like we need a little break and two hours later we miss the heck out of each other! He had to go to town yesterday to get the oil changed and the tires rotated on the Lincoln because he was so bored without me there. I head home this morning to that handsome man. 

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A photo popped up in my FB Memories yesterday. It was a picture from our high school yearbook. Our high school had a program every year called the Sports Carnival. There were choreographed dances, demonstrations by the fencing and gymnastics teams, and just all kinds of fun things. One of the highlights was the “Living Statues.” One star from each team…football, basketball, wrestling, baseball, and crew were covered in metallic body paint. They turned off the lights in the gym and the “statues” posed, the lights came on. Then they’d turn the lights off again, and another pose was created. Every time the lights came on, there was always a gasp, and wild applause.

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There was the crowning of the King and Queen of the Sports Carnival. Those members who didn’t win walked together…in couples down to the stage to serve as the Royal Court. On January 11, 2011…I shared a photo of the court on Facebook for my fellow classmates. Mr. FixIt was one of the Royal Court members! Little did I know when I posted that photo that I would be widowed sixteen months later. Or that in seven short years, I‘d be married to that tall redhead on the far end there. Who knew? Such sadness…and such joy. God works in mysterious ways.

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?

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“Friends love through all kinds of weather, and families stick together in all kinds of trouble.”

\nProverbs 17:17 MSG\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2023-01-12T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2023/01/12/farm-sweet-farm.html", "tags": ["The Farm","Comfort","Memories","Friends"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2023/01/04/santa-pays-attention.html", "title": "Santa Pays Attention!", "content_html": "\n
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I mentioned a while back that I wanted to take up painting again. Mr. FixIt read that…either on my FB page or on my blog. And then, Santa brought me a set of paints and some canvases! I love that he listened and remembered and helped me make a step closer to doing something that brings me joy.

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The paint set he bought me was lovely…but it was mostly watercolors and try as I might…they’ve never been my forte. I’ve tried oils to no avail. But acrylics and pastels are my jam. I love the fact that I can leave them alone for a time and pick right back up where I left off. And if I don’t particularly like a certain color, I can paint over it without making a muddy mess. 

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I love mixed media and landscapes and still life and just about anything without eyes. I don’t do people or animals well…try as I might. I do such an odd variety of subjects and styles. I once entered three paintings in an art show and I overheard one of the judges remark that if he didn’t know better, he would think the three paintings were done by three different artists. Perhaps they were. I tune into different parts of my psyche when I paint. I see things differently than most and it depends on the mood du jour as to how I’m going to interpret something and express it and with which medium.

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I’ve always attributed this to being a Gemini…only my “twins” are more like quadruplets. Maybe it’s ADHD. Maybe it’s where I sit on the broad spectrum of what is commonly called “autism” but it explains creatives more clearly. I’ve never been happy just doing one thing over and over and over. It bores me to tears in a hurry. So I do “this one thing” till I’ve done it to death then I move on to “another thing”.

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I have managed to reel that in a bit the last few years. After Mr. Virgo died and I downsized so drastically, I didn’t have room in my living space to keep all the accoutrements of every hobby I enjoy. Now I make a concerted effort to finish one project before I move on to another. I kind of broke my rule when I started knitting Christmas Stockings after the sweater instead of getting right back to the king sized quilt I’m making for our granddaughter’s wedding in June. I’m almost finished with the sixth or seventh stocking so today I’ll wrap that up and head to the sewing nook. That quilt isn’t going to sew itself and it needs doing now.

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The weather has given us a wonderful reprieve from the dastardly cold snap we had before the holidays. We’re back up in the 60’s for a couple of days with rain. I don’t care about the rain and gloomy grey skies when I can get a few warm days in mid winter. And the icing on the cake??? Warmer nights to go with those warmer days which means…I get to sleep in the camper!!! Monday night and last night…two lovely nights in a row in one of my happiest of happy places! “Grace!”

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Oh, to sleep snuggled under a pile of blankets in a camper listening to the rain on the roof! All this rain has the creeks roaring…an added bonus to the sounds of the night. Mr. FixIt and I went to town yesterday to run errands and we actually had lunch INSIDE a restaurant! It wasn’t terribly busy and we were in a booth somewhat protected from others. It was a lovely little island of normal and we had a great “date”! This man goes all out for me and it doesn’t go unnoticed!

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?

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“Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ’s love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They’re really doing themselves a favor—since they’re already “one” in marriage.”

\nEphesians 5:25-28 MSG\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2023-01-04T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2023/01/04/santa-pays-attention.html", "tags": ["Comfort","Marriage","Happiness"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/12/27/settling-in-with-a-little.html", "title": "Settling in With a Little Baking", "content_html": "\n
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After not feeling well on Christmas Day, I decided to just lay low and eat light yesterday. Toast and tea for breakfast, some more on the computer, and some knitting while Mr. FixIt watched his shows left me feeling refreshed and rested. We had a lovely video chat with my in-loves in Colorado. My son-in-law’s parents are the salt of the earth and we had a grand time visiting with them over tea. In the late afternoon, Mr. FixIt headed to town for a minute. By that time it had started snowing.

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Just as he left, I saw a post on the scanner page on FB that warned of an accident on the top of the hill above our house. My sweetie called me from the truck and said it was a bad one but the roads weren’t all that terrible. It must have been caused by something else. Who knows? There are so many deer about at that time of day and people drive like maniacs on that road. Someone got on his tail all the way home and peeled out around him when he turned to check the mail.

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Then I learned Christmas Day that my sweet aunt…my mom’s only surviving sister…fell on Christmas Eve and broke her hip. My Auntie Rosie is a gem. She looks so much like my mom and my grandma that it shakes me to my core when I see her. She lost her husband a few years ago and has been living with her daughter. When my cousin lost her husband, the two of them moved back to Indiana to be near friends for support.

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Aunt Rosie was in Nursing School when I was born. She stayed at our house a lot to help mom with me and my big brother. I was a handful, I’ve been told. My aunt likes to tell the story of how she discovered I had torn up my mom’s new book and was going to spank my little butt. Instead, Auntie Rosie hid me in the closet till mom cooled down. When her only child was born when I was about five or six, she brought her home on the train so we could meet her. I remember her curly red hair framing her face like an auburn halo and her porcelain skin was just like a little china doll.

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My aunt got a new hip for Christmas and they started her on rehab yesterday. I spoke with her for a moment, but her attention span was short so I asked my cousin to keep me up to date. Please send up some prayers for them both to get through this with ease and quick healing.

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When Mr. FixIt was in town and called me, he asked if I wanted him to stop at the store to get us a sweet. I told him I had something better in mind. Within an hour, I had a homemade apple pie in the oven. We warmed up the leftover Cheesy Broccoli soup for supper and ate as we watched a light snow dust the sidewalks. This has been a cozy and quiet week here at Marshmallow Ranch and I’ve really enjoyed the down time. I’m about half through the fifth Christmas stocking!

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I’ll need to pick up the pace in the next couple of days. There’s a lot to do before the FixIt Family Festivities on Friday. Cleaning house and wrapping presents. And I still need to send our Christmas cards. I might eke out one more knitting day before I have to get busy.

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?

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“May the Master of Peace himself give you the gift of getting along with each other at all times, in all ways. May the Master be truly among you!”

\n2 Thessalonians 3:16 MSG\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2022-12-27T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/12/27/settling-in-with-a-little.html", "tags": ["Comfort","Peace","Baking"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/12/24/the-modern-madonna.html", "title": "The Modern Madonna", "content_html": "\n
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Let’s face it…we don’t live in a Hallmark movie. Relationships are complicated and oftentimes messy. We can turn to any given channel on the TV at this time of year and see beautiful depictions of perfectly decorated houses with perfectly obedient children eagerly awaiting the appearance of the jolly old elf himself. 

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Most of my demographic have grandchildren and great grandchildren, so we are a little past the frenetic activity leading up to Christmas. But as the day approaches, we push to create the most perfect holiday so our loved ones have wonderful memories long after we’re gone. The cookies are baked. The house is decorated to the nines. The pantry is full of all manner of delicacies. So…why do we feel so let down when it’s all over?

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I think it’s because we’ve held onto these ideals all our lives thinking each holiday MUST be better than the one before it. We do ourselves a huge disservice with that attitude. I’m trying something different this year. I’m trying to let go of any and all expectations, preconceived notions, feelings, judgements, hurts, wrongs, memories and go into the holiday as if I’m a brand new person. I’m pretending…just like I used to when I was a little kid. I’m staying in this moment without judgement and saying…this is my first Christmas! My first holiday dinner. My first wrapping of presents. It’s taken a huge weight off my shoulders and released me from my self-imposed bondage of perfectionism.

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Our grandson called yesterday. He’s working long, hard hours so his children can stay home with their mama and not have to go to child care. He ordered something for her and it came to the Post Office, but he wasn’t going to get out of work till really late. He asked his Grandpa if he would go over the hill to town to pick up the gift so he could give it to his sweetest girl. Of course Grandpa said yes. And we even had a nice gift box to put the present in so he wouldn’t have to wrap it.

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This young lady is such a good mama to two of our little great-grands. Mommin’ ain’t easy…especially to two rambunctious little boys. I wondered what special gift the boys’ daddy would give their mom that would honor who she is to their little family. When he arrived to pick up the gift, he said, “I have to open this…I really want you to see it!”

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He bought her a blanket…with one of his favorite photos on it. It wasn’t some posed picture of scrubbed faces and clean clothes that was at the center of his heart. It was a candid picture he took of his love…sick and exhausted with a tissue stuffed up her nose, leaning back in her chair with one of her precious boys, feverish and sleeping in her lap. 

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At first, I laughed. Then I thought…OMGosh! She’ll kill him. Then I thought…nope, she’s going to love this as much as he did. She’s going to know…truly know how much this young man loves her. Because, any man who’s going to work and work really hard for every dime then take that hard earned money and put it towards a picture such as this is a good guy. I felt happy for them…proud of them for not taking the easy way out.

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No, “Mommin’ Ain’t Easy”. But it’s a whole lot easier when you can just live in the moment and leave that sack of stinky stuff you’ve been hauling around behind you all these years and release it where it deserves to stay. In the past…where it can’t hurt you anymore.

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When we let go of all the trappings and expectations of a consumerist society, it allows us to focus on the real meaning of Christmas…the birth of Christ in a lowly manger in Jerusalem. Where the Blessed Virgin may very well have reclined against a makeshift bed amongst the animals in the barn…exhausted from the hard labor of the day. Holding her beloved baby in her arms. I wonder if Joseph might have snapped a photo of his beloved such as the one our grandson took had cameras been around so long ago? Yes…this warm and comforting blanket reminds me of a Modern Madonna…holding her precious child in her arms…and leaning into the moment. With no expectations more than mindful, unbridled love.

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May we all remember what this holiday is about.

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May we all have a blessed celebration of the Christ-child’s birth.

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?

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“For God loved the world in this way: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.”

\nJohn 3:16 CSB\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2022-12-24T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/12/24/the-modern-madonna.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Comfort","God","Holiday","Courage","Choices","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/12/10/a-change-of-plans.html", "title": "A Change of Plans", "content_html": "\n
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I responded to the invitation with a very solid “We’ll try to make it.” At this time of year, there’s just WAY too much going on. There was once a time when I thrived on the chaos, but that ship has long left the harbor. I love our high school friends…I really do. I don’t particularly love the restaurant they chose for dinner last night, but even that wasn’t my deciding factor. 

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What kept me home? Just sheer over it up to here’s-ville. We were happily cuddled up under our cozy throws with the fire roaring and an interesting show on. I was knitting a miniature Christmas stocking for one of the babies. We each had a piping hot mug of tea. When the moment of truth came and a decision had to be made…yay or nay…I said, “Let’s stay in. I’ll fix you a meal better than what we would get at the restaurant, and we don’t have to drive 45 minutes each way on a narrow, winding country road in the dark dodging deer.”

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So, that’s what we did. We stayed in. I cooked a feast that couldn’t be beat. The kitchen is a mess…yet again. And I’ll clean it up this morning. There are some things more important than going out. I’m making our health and well-being a priority this season. I think Mr. FixIt was relieved…he didn’t put up much of a fuss, anyway.

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Since I finished the last sweater, and since the hair fiasco has been largely rectified, I finally got back to the quilt I’m making for our WV granddaughter’s wedding in June. I have the first row of blocks pieced together. I used an acrylic square to trim the blocks to exactly 10.5” so they piece together nicely. That make the top nice and even for the final quilting. I haven’t made such an intricate quilt in years and it’s fun getting back to it. I’m using the pool table to lay the blocks out on. It makes it so much easier to join the blocks correctly for the pattern.

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My cousin is in sales. She buys end lots and sells things for a bargain price. I bought two big boxes of some clothing items she got her hands on and they arrived yesterday. Now I have to figure out a way to wrap them. I hate spending a lot of money on boxes to wrap Christmas gifts in. Last year, my dear friend Gail sent me some sock yarn for Christmas. She made the cutest little sack out of holiday fabric. I’m going to go to town today to find some inexpensive fabric and make my own cloth gift bags. They’ll be cuter and cheaper than buying those gift boxes that may not be the right size. And, they’re reusable!

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As I sat writing this post last night, the rain was pitter pattering on the roof. I wonder if we’ll have a White Christmas. I tried to watch Chevy Chase’s Christmas Vacation the other day and it just didn’t hold any allure for me. We did watch White Christmas, so that kicked off the holiday season. I have all these plans for cookies and cheesecake, Christmas cards, maybe a little more decorating. But, so far I’m not getting much done on that list. It’ll either get done…or it won’t. I’m just not going to stress about it this year. Nor am I feeling guilty!

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We’re just going to live in the moment and enjoy what comes our way!

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?

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“Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.”

\nColossians 3:2 ESV\n
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\n\n", "date_published": "2022-12-10T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/12/10/a-change-of-plans.html", "tags": ["Comfort","Cooking","Home"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/11/30/finding-comfort-at-home.html", "title": "Finding Comfort at Home", "content_html": "\n
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Knitting in front of my ”fireplace”…the one on Netflix!

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Comfort comes in many forms. There is comfort in food, as that is the origin of nurturing in our lives. The same goes for the comfort of touch and smell and sound. It can harken us to our earliest memories of our family of origin who loved us, held us close, and fed us. Comfort may change form over time and it may come from different sources, but it always takes us back…way back to “home”. 

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When we go through times of emotional upheaval, we reach for those things that brought us comfort. And if they no longer work, or they’re no longer available to us, we make substitutions. When I went through my divorce from Hubby #2, I found comfort in the home I built. I chose colors and furnishings that calmed me. I burned a zillion candles and played soft, soothing music that made me feel safe and secure. When I lost Mr. Virgo, I found comfort and solace in camping.

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The Farm has been a touchstone my entire life and I am always comforted there. I can walk in the back door and instantly feel calm. When I was going through the worst episodes of fear and anxiety and sadness in my life, I could close my eyes and visualize Grandma’s house, the wooden staircase leading to the “Girl’s Room” upstairs, and the warm bed piled high with comforters. The house was always warm…and there were always wonderful aromas wafting up from the kitchen. It smelled of good cooking and lemon oil furniture polish and Ivory Snow.

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When we woke up yesterday, I snuggled over against Mr. FixIt to soak up his warmth. I remember the pain Mr. Virgo’s sudden absence brought me and I swore, if God would ever see fit to bring me another partner, I would memorize every moment to save up…just in case. We always check in with good morning greetings and how did you sleep questions. We look out the window and wonder about the weather of the day. One or the other of us picks up a phone to check the temperature and forecast. Then we take a look at the calendar to see if there’s anything going on. We hold hands and share contented sighs. Then one of us has to break the reverie and get the day going by getting up. It’s usually Mr. FixIt whose feet hit the ground first. He starts the electric tea kettle while I get myself up and about.

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That ritual, in and of itself is incredibly comforting and I know all too well how nebulous it is. I padded into the kitchen and made oats and toast for breakfast. We watched a little TV. I baked bread and froze a couple dozen hot rolls for later in the month. I was at the end of my flour supply. I didn’t have enough bread flour, and the all purpose flour was a little past its prime. But we were down to just a few slices of bread, so I baked anyway.

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I heated up turkey pot pie for supper, then Mr. FixIt went out to put up the inflatables. We hung the huge four foot wreath up together on the end of the house facing the road. I knitted a little on the sweater. Every row is another row closer to being finished. And here it is…the last day of November. Another month gone…a brand new month starting tomorrow. We sat in our big red recliners and enjoyed the warm glow of the Christmas tree. I read with my lap comforter thrown over my legs. Mr. FixIt softly snoozed with his feet up. The flames in the gas stove that looks like an old fashioned wood stove flickered softly. This is my comfort and joy.

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We don’t live in a fancy new house. We don’t drive expensive cars with the latest gadgets. We don’t jet set around the world or buy the best of everything. We don’t need to. We have everything we could possibly need right here on this beautiful patch of ground. We have a big, healthy family. And we have each other. What more could I possibly ask for? 

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God has answered every prayer I’ve ever uttered one of three ways. Yes. Yes, but not right now. Or, no…I have something better in mind for you. I rest in great comfort knowing He is always a breath away from us. And I am always and eternally grateful.

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?

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“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”

\nRomans 8:28 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2022-11-30T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/11/30/finding-comfort-at-home.html", "tags": ["Gratitude","Comfort","Farm Life","Baking","Home"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/10/30/a-slow-sunny-saturday.html", "title": "A Slow Sunny Saturday", "content_html": "\n
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Saturday is college football day at our house and the Mountaineers are the center of the universe. We had a late start to our day and WVU had a fairly early game, so that made for a lovely brunch in front of the television, cheering on our favorite team. I still had some cornmeal mush leftover so I sliced and fried it in butter. I have to remember to cook it longer next time because it was just a little too wet. That makes it too soft and it falls apart easier. Still, if you fry it up crispy and golden and serve it with butter and syrup…oh, my! It’s SO good. We had the leftover biscuits from Friday along with sausage patties and eggs over easy. It was a filling, stick-to-your-ribs breakfast that lasts all day.

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Mr. FixIt left in the afternoon to go help his friend Joe with a few odd jobs so I had the afternoon home alone. This doesn’t happen too often, so I curled up in my recliner with my knitting and binge watched Tipper Pressley and Brenda Gantt videos on YouTube. Of course, now I want to make butter…and pecan pralines…and the perfect corn bread in a cast iron skillet. Those shows always make me hungry and just when I thought I’d have to get up and bake something, Mr. FixIt called to say he was on his way home.

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Just before he came home, I put Pumpkin kitty in her great big building and did a little walk about to see what’s growing around the yard. I noticed the ground moles have tunnels dug all through the yard that mash down when you step on them. I pulled a couple of handfuls of seed pods off one of the redbud trees in the hedgerow. The leaves have all but finished falling off the pear trees. I found two or three pears but only one I could reach. It came off in my hand when I touched it, but it’s as hard as a rock. I brought it in and placed it on the windowsill in the kitchen to see if it will ripen. 

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We have a little mom and pop grocery store in our town. They grind their own burger and man is it ever good. My sweetie brought some home the other day and we had hamburgers from it. There were a couple left over so I heated them up for a quick supper. Mr. FixIt wanted pork and beans so he opened a can. I can’t hardly eat those after growing up with them. Most of the time, Mom would just open the can and dump them in a serving dish cold, stick in a spoon, and call it good. To this day, I won’t touch them unless I’ve doctored them up with a little BBQ sauce, brown sugar, bacon, and onions, and bake them.

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I caught a beautiful shot of the trees on top of the far hill glowing in the last of the setting sunlight and they were remarkable. It just about takes your breath away, the beauty that surrounds us every day. I see bounty at every turn. Mr. FixIt finished unloading the firewood so the trailer is free to go pick up the roof shingles…hopefully tomorrow. We took an old wood pallet and stacked the wood on it to keep it up off the wet ground. Some of it was dry, but the majority of it is still green, so this will be for fires next year.

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Hmmmmm….I’m still thinking of those pecan pralines. I think I’m going to HAVE to make some!

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?

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“Whoever has a bountiful eye will be blessed, for he shares his bread with the poor.”

\nProverbs 22:9 ESV\n
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#Bounty, #FarmLife, #Pears

\n\n", "date_published": "2022-10-30T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/10/30/a-slow-sunny-saturday.html", "tags": ["Comfort","Farm Life","Cooking"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/10/17/the-river-as-my-muse.html", "title": "The River as My Muse", "content_html": "\n
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Three years ago, I went on a wonderful tour of several of the State Parks in West Virginia. I was blessed with the opportunity to tow around a brand new 2020 rPod for the Annual Girl Camper Raffle. It was a fabulous trip filled with some of the most beautiful scenery you can find in the Mountain State. The fact that it was October and the Mountain Mama was dressed to the nines in her autumn finery made it all the more magical.

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I made that trip for the most part on my own. It was reminiscent of the Grand Adventure I went on after losing Mr. Virgo six years prior. Except, this time I had a brand new hubby waiting for me at home. I have to say, Mr. FixIt is truly the best thing that’s happened to me in the last near decade. He knows and celebrates who I am. And he knows I need times of solitude to recharge my batteries.

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I have a tendency to become much too comfortable with isolation. The lockdown was a horrifying event on the large scale. But staying at home with my sweetheart, learning to bake great sourdough and knitting to my heart’s content was not awful. Here’s my problem with isolation. I quickly don’t want to go back out. I come to fear it. I get anxious at the thought of coming out of my shell and being vulnerable and “on”. 

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The busyness of that autumn trip and all the subsequent writing that came along with it was a salvation to my psyche. I found that winter to be one of the easiest I’ve experienced. And coming back out didn’t bring the usual panicky feelings. Then…Covid hit and threw us inside and away from others for the better part of two years.

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I still don’t do what I did BC…Before Covid. We have eaten in a restaurant a handful of times, and then only on midweek days in the mid afternoon. And we ask to be seated in a corner away from others. It’s ok…it doesn’t bother me. And THAT is the problem…I like the solitude. But I pay for it later when I need to get out and LIVE my life.

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So far, we’ve avoided getting Covid. I suppose it’s highly likely we’ll get it at some point. Thank GOD it has changed since the original virus. Enough people have been vaccinated to tamp it down so it’s no longer a death sentence. It’s still out there, though. Changing and morphing…as though it has a mind of its own and its trying to defeat our immune systems. I believe we will need to continue to be vigilant and the doctors and scientists need to keep a careful watch so that we don’t end up where we were in early 2020.

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I’m taking cues from that experience. I’m trying to be more spontaneous. To get out and go places on my own so that I don’t become fearful of that. It’s important for my mental health and happiness to maintain some autonomy so that I don’t lose myself in this marriage. It’s so easy to do that. When you deny yourself for so long, it becomes the norm. We had an active year but there has to be a balance between running like your hair’s on fire and becoming a slug watching Netflix.

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The new mattress arrived Friday and we laid it out on the bed to “inflate” to it’s normal shape. I dressed the bed Saturday afternoon, then Mr. FixIt “camped” with me Saturday night. We woke up yesterday morning, said good morning, and declared the mattress to be a HUGELY successful purchase! Ohhhhh….it was heavenly!

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As we lay there talking our way into mid-morning, I told Mr. FixIt I was going to pack up the camper and head to the dump station to empty the tanks. As I lay there calculating how far it was to the rest area where we do this particular chore, I realized one of our favorite campgrounds was only thirty minutes further.

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“You know what? I think I’m just going to go on up the river and get a campsite for the night. Then I can dump the tanks on the way home tomorrow. Is that ok with you?”

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He still thinks it’s strange that I ask him if it’s ok. It’s not that I’m asking permission. No way that’s happening. His answer is always, “You just do whatever you want to do, my baby.” And he means it. There’s no pouting or retribution when I come home. Just open arms and a great big hug. The only thing he ever asks of me is to let him know when I get there and check in periodically so he knows I’m ok. I have no problem with that.

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So, here I am. It was literally the last night this campground was open for the 2022 season so it seems fitting I spent it here. I sat by the river all afternoon…sipping tea, watching the boats go up and down, listening to the breeze rustling the crisp, dry leaves causing a shower of sunshine to litter the ground.

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The river is my muse. Something about the energy here is good for my soul. The fact that there is constant movement is soothing. It is the dichotomy of activity and stillness that draws me, I think. As I wrote this, two barges and a train passed right in front of my camper…at the same time. Life is interspersed with busyness and calm…ups and downs…happiness and sadness. It’s an ever-flowing river of energy that fills me up.

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?

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“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you.”

\nIsaiah 43:2 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2022-10-17T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/10/17/the-river-as-my-muse.html", "tags": ["Camping","Comfort","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/10/10/so-late-to-the-party.html", "title": "So Late to the Party!", "content_html": "\n
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My bonus daughter called us last week and told us she started getting Netflix and can have up to four people on her account so she made us a profile. I have to tell you…I have not used Netflix since you had to order the DVD’s and they mailed them to you!!! That’s dating myself, for sure! So, we’re kinda late to the party and I’m not sure we’ve missed too much.

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I binge watched a few shows yesterday while I finished knitting the second sleeve of the baby sweater. I need to block them, then I can sew them together and knit the neckline and I’ll be finished with that one. I need to get back to the quilt I’m making for our granddaughter’s wedding next summer. And now I’m going to need to make one for the grandson getting married in May. Busy times!

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The grass looks forlorn and scraggly. The tough fall grass is giving way to a baby fine grass so it’s long and shaggy in some places and dormant in others. As I figured, I’m too late for planting the pollinator garden this fall, but my friend Aimee has directed me to resources. There are some other things we need to do around the house before we spend money on that project. We need the roof done first.

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Mr. FixIt bowled last night and did pretty well, all things considered. I had a quiet evening at home, which doesn’t happen very often anymore. Daughter #1 and her husband went to visit Big at college for Parent’s Weekend and had a wonderful time. Daughter #2 and her wife called last evening to catch up as did my bonus daughter. These are the things that warm this mother’s heart.

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I’m wondering how long I have to wait to put up the Christmas tree. Hmmmmmm.

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?

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“We love because he first loved us.”

\n1 John 4:19 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2022-10-10T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/10/10/so-late-to-the-party.html", "tags": ["Family","Camping","Comfort"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/10/09/ahhhhhome-sweet-home-again.html", "title": "Ahhhh…Home Sweet Home, Again!", "content_html": "\n
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We need a new mattress in the camper! That is the first thing most people will change out when they get a camper. RV manufacturers will never give you a decent mattress. Not unless you’re buying a $500,000 mega rig and then you can’t be certain. I know…mattresses are a highly individual thing. Just ask Goldilocks. But, maybe if you could have a choice when you buy your camper…soft, medium, or firm…innerspring or memory foam…six inch or ten inch? That could make the whole camping experience much better from the get go.

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Neither of us slept terribly well this trip. It was difficult to regulate the heat. The little ceramic heater we bought is terrible and I’m returning it. There are so many settings on it, but it never shuts off…and even at its lowest setting of 59°, it was still WAY too hot. Then we couldn’t get the electric blanket just right. I think Mr. FixIt had more trouble than I did because he is his own heat generator. Honestly, it’s like sleeping with a radiator. So, if he isn’t comfortable, he tosses and turns and neither one of us sleep soundly. We were supposed to stay till today, but we came home yesterday so he could rest up his back and be ready for bowling tonight. 

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The camp hosts at Beaver Creek State Park where we stayed serve coffee, cider, and donuts at their site every weekend of October. We sat around their campfire and enjoyed some fellowship and tasty treats. Then we finished hooking up and took off for home. Mr. FixIt seldom asks to stop and see something in particular. On Friday, he wanted to drive back down to Steubenville to see the reproduction of Fort Steuben that was built in 1797. It was thirty-two miles back toward where we came from. So, round trip of sixty-four miles to see something my friend Gail said was nothing to write home about. If I’d felt better, it wouldn’t have been a big deal, but I was up sick during the night Thursday night and all I wanted to do was snuggle in my fuzzies around the fire and knit and enjoy the campground.

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When we were heading through Steubenville yesterday, I pulled off the highway and turned in to the fort so my sweetheart could see it. Unfortunately the guest center was closed for some reason…covid, staffing, whatever. But we got to walk around the grounds a little and see the buildings from the outside. Now that we know we can get in and find a place to park with the camper, we can try again the next time we go up. 

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When we were packing up yesterday, the ground prong broke off of our heavy duty extension cord so we stopped at Lowe’s on the way. Mr. FixIt replaced the plug as soon as we got home so we could hook the camper up to the house electricity. We got my sweetie all settled in the recliner with the heating pad and I got all settled in the camper under the electric blanket. I know there aren’t too many more nights where I can sleep out here so I’m taking advantage of it. They were predicting our first frost last night! 

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Tonight is the Hunter’s Moon…October’s “harvest” moon. As I lay here writing this, I watched the full moon rise over the far hill in all her glory. I was prompted to recall other full moons of note in my life. I was at a James Taylor concert in late summer 2001. 9/11 hadn’t occured yet and the world was still turning. I was at Red Rocks, overlooking the Denver Metro area. The moon rose full and I swear it was the biggest and most beautiful I’d ever seen it…pumpkin orange in an indigo sky. It shimmered with the heat rising up from the city far below.

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Sweet Baby James started singing Up On the Roof, and I was transported to the summer of 1979 to a mountain in West Virginia. I was backpacking with Hubby #2. I’d never been so vulnerable in the woods carrying a way-too-heavy pack, missing my daughter, exhausted and hungry after a full day’s climb. I started singing this very song, bright and clear, as a way to ground my panicky heart. Just then, we heard a thundering sound, looked up the hill above us, and a whole herd of deer came running down the mountain and leapt gracefully over our heads before disappearing into the woods below us. My then fiancé and I locked eyes for a moment then looked at the sky above us. That evening, the Milky Way stretched out in the black inky sky as the full moon peeked through the leaves, sending dappled shards of moonshine onto the forest floor. We stopped and pitched our tent right there along a cool babbling brook and slept like babies.

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I love the moonlight. I’ve gone snowshoeing in the peaceful quiet of a Rocky Mountain winter, guided by her brilliance. I’ve made love on the top of mountains in her silent shadows. I’ve swam naked in pools of warm water under her canopy of light. I’ve rocked my baby at my breast in our log house as I watched the moonrise over the wilderness. I’ve stood at the grave of my beloved, beating my chest with my fists…crying out in my grief to God and the angels and the Man in the Moon. And, I’ve held my new love’s hand as we watched the moon rise over the ocean waves. With the moonrise comes the hope in all things new. It’s always steady, it’s always there…whether we see it or not. 

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As is God.

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?

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“When I look at your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him, and the son of man that you care for him?”

\nPsalm 8:3-4 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2022-10-09T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/10/09/ahhhhhome-sweet-home-again.html", "tags": ["Camping","Comfort","Home"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/10/06/travel-days-are-long-days.html", "title": "Travel Days are Long Days", "content_html": "\n
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First, there’s the getting up and going issue…something neither of us are necessarily good at. Then there’s the packing up the camper, tucking everything away, and hitching up. There’s always a stop at the Golden Arches for some iced tea and breakfast sandwiches. This time there was a prescription to pick up at Wally World. And finally, a stop at a rest area on the way where we dump our tanks and fill up with fresh water. 

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I don’t normally travel with a full fresh water tank because it just adds extra weight and that takes more gas to tow. I usually travel with no more than 1/3 tank…just enough to flush the toilet along the way. But, this campground doesn’t have a place where you can fill up your tank and, since we’re going to be here for four days, I need all the water I can get to wash dishes, flush the toilet, and take the briefest of showers during our stay. There isn’t a bath house here…just a solar shower and that’s not happening in October!

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It’s only 121 miles to the campground from our house, but there’s always traffic and potty breaks. Then, we stop at the store closest to the campground and pickup food for our stay. We left at 11:30 and got here at 5:30. We set up the screen tent and the outdoor kitchen and the electric fireplace and sat out there till after dark.

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This is the first time we’ve used the screen room and it worked great. It kept the bugs off us and our food. We leaned the chairs forward on the small table we use and hopefully they won’t gather dew too terribly. Once the dishes were done and things put away, we were both pooped. As I write this, Mr. FixIt is watching a movie on the portable DVD player I so wisely bought for him during one particular camping trip when it was cold and rainy. It’s saved the day on more than one occasion. 

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My sweetie is a TV watcher. I am not. So, the addition of headphones was a BIG bonus! I did bring a couple of movies I wouldn’t mind watching, but I could certainly live with out them. I brought enough knitting projects to keep me busy for a month!

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I think I may have heard an owl way off in the distance at dusk last night, but I wouldn’t swear to it. Hopefully they haven’t all been scared away by the intense reclamation work that went on here at the park during the pandemic. We’ll just have to listen carefully…and maybe I can call them in with the app since they aren’t on the nest at this time of year.

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I’m looking forward to visiting with friends today and honestly…not doing a darned thing! 

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?

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“Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?”

\nMatthew 6:26 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2022-10-06T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/10/06/travel-days-are-long-days.html", "tags": ["Travel","Camping","Comfort","Road Trip"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/09/29/working-out-the-kinks.html", "title": "Working Out the Kinks", "content_html": "\n
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I don’t think there is a camper made that doesn’t have a tiny leak somewhere. The trick is to catch them early, find out where they came from, and fix it right away before there’s any damage done. We left home yesterday morning around noon. The sky looked threatening, but the forecast said there would only be light rain from time to time. That was true for the most part. But we did come through a could of really hard rains (and LOTS of rainbows) and there was a lot of splash up from the road.

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The wheel wells in the new camper are hidden…one under the kitchen sink area, and the other under the slide out. We got to our campsite shortly before dark and we really had to hustle to get everything set up before it got too dark and started raining. We only had a couple of things left and Mr. FixIt took the reins while I went inside the camper to fix us something to eat. When I brought the dishes back in, I looked down and there were tiny drops of water along the bottom edge of the kitchen cabinet. 

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I quickly grabbed a light and some paper towels and set to searching for the source. I soon found where I think the water was coming from. The wheel well under the cabinet. I dabbed everywhere I could reach and soaked up every drop of water I could find. I have a feeling this isn’t the first time it’s done this as there was a bag of moisture absorber on the floor of that cabinet. The camper is just a year old, and it was a very tiny amount of water. Mr. FixIt got down and looked under the wheel well and could see a spot where the leak may have occurred. When we get home, we’ll get it all cleaned up in there and seal it up tight. This is not a huge deal…just an annoyance that happens to the best of campers. The nature of the beast, as it were.

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We love this park. We camped here for a couple of nights back in the fall of 2019 when I was just starting out on the Raffle Camper Tour for Girl Camper. We’ve wanted to get back here ever since and this seemed like the perfect time. The park is nearly empty and very quiet, save for the planes coming in and out of the Pittsburgh Airport. They’re pretty high by the time they get over us, so they’re not terribly intrusive.  This year’s site is in the same cul de sac as the site we stayed in previously. I would have much preferred that site, but it was not open all three days. This one is a close second. And…it is a pull-thru so I didn’t even have to back into it! Bonus!

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We stopped in Williamstown on the way here and dumped the tanks, then went right across the river to Marietta, OH to the Walmart store. I had a couple of things in mind. Some snacks. A better quality tire pressure gauge. And an electric blanket. Mr. FixIt and I had a vibrant discussion about the merits of buying yet another electric blanket. He reminded me we had two and home and two in the other camper. I reminded him that one goes on our bed at home and one goes on the guest bed. As it turns out, I couldn’t find the cord for the one from the guest room or I would have used it. The two in the other camper are twin size. I guess we could have used them, but it would be pretty unruly and I like a neat and tidy bed. So, we compromised and bought a new electric blanket. The man is a genius!

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Oh…there is nothing quite so wonderful as camping in the woods with lovely comfortable sheets, the very best fluffy pillows, and a queen-sized, dual control, electric blanket with a 12-hour shut-off timer. Excuse me…did I hear someone say, “Princess?” Yes! I’ll be the very first to admit I want to camp in comfort. I’ve done the sleeping bag on the ground in a pup tent, thank you very much. I’ve paid my dues. I want to be outside AND I want to be comfortable. I don’t need a huge camper. I don’t need an uber-expensive motorhome with marble floors and leather-covered everything. I definitely DO NOT need a big screen TV and an outdoor kitchen and a sound system with seventeen speakers and a sub-woofer. All I want is a little box that locks..with a bed and a potty. If it’s got a kitchen…bonus. If it has a slide out that gives you more foot room…heck, yeah! Sign me up!

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We snuggled down in bed around 8:00 last night. Mr. FixIt with his little DVD player on his belly, watching an old colorized movie from the ‘50s. Me with my little lap desk and iPad…talking to you good people. And now? I think I’ll go raid the snack box and see what I can nibble on before I head to bed.

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?

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“Like the appearance of the bow that is in the cloud on the day of rain, so was the appearance of the brightness all around. Such was the appearance of the likeness of the glory of the Lord. And when I saw it, I fell on my face, and I heard the voice of one speaking.”

\nEzekiel 1:28 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2022-09-29T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/09/29/working-out-the-kinks.html", "tags": ["Camping","Comfort","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/09/24/tick-tock-tick-tock.html", "title": "Tick Tock Tick Tock", "content_html": "\n
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Set up for our picnic!

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We got a call yesterday that we may have been exposed to covid over the weekend. Thursday night I started getting a headache a little bit of a scratchy throat. I haven’t tested yet. It could just be from the cold front coming through or camping by the river, but if the symptoms continue or worsen, I’ll definitely test. We have no plans to go anywhere in this next few days anyway. We cancelled our trip to the dealership yesterday to pick up the a-frame and we’ll do that as soon as we can.

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We spent the day just chilling. I knitted and Mr. FixIt cleaned out the truck. We tied the tarp down on the ‘67 Franklin. I keep telling myself I’ll fix it up one of these days, but alas…the days fly by and there it sits. It really should go to someone who has the time and talents to rebuild it. We have to stay home long enough to advertise it and sell it and that’s a bigger problem than fixing it ourselves.

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Supper al Fresco

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My sweetie and I had supper in front of the new camper again last night. It’s so pleasant to sit outside. Thursday night got down to 42° and let me tell you…it was a tad nippy in the camper! My little electric space heater is in the a-frame, I think. I do have an electric blanket I could bring out to the camper if I can find the cord. I added another puffy comforter so that ought to help. And, it was only predicted to get down to 51° last night, so maybe it won’t be so bad.

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We walked around the perimeter of the far field last night after supper. There are tons of seed pods on the redbud that are almost ready to gather and save for planting next year. It’s a game of chance waiting for them because the critters in the woods are doing the same thing for culinary purposes. There were a lot of what looked like wild grapes everywhere. When you squeeze them, they look just like grapes, but I tasted a tiny bit on my tongue and they certainly don’t TASTE like grapes. They just tasted wild.

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I’ve pulled out the winter socks!

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We noticed several trees that have died in the last couple of years…most near the power lines to I’ll have to call to see if they’ll come remove them. I noticed a small area I missed when I mowed on Thursday afternoon so I jumped on the tractor and finished that off in a hurry. Thursday was the Autumnal Equinox…the first day of fall is here already. Where has this year gone? The days pass slowly but the years seem to fly, don’t they? 

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So, in honor of autumn, I have put on socks! My tootsies are thanking me. 

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?

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“The grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of our God will stand forever.”

\nIsaiah 40:8 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2022-09-24T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/09/24/tick-tock-tick-tock.html", "tags": ["Camping","Comfort","Change","Farm Life"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/09/23/its-always-over-way-too.html", "title": "It’s Always Over Way Too Soon", "content_html": "\n
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Our View from the Camper Wednesday Evening

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That trip was WAY too short. We were lucky we got reservations at all at Leith Run Campground. They sell out fast when the reservation window opens six months in advance of your stay. I love Site #11 because it’s right on the river and you are off in a corner. A few months ago, I looked on reservations.gov to see if there was on anything available there, and found three nights in our favored site so I grabbed it right away and so happy we got to go at all.

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We had a big breakfast and sat out by the river for a while till it was time to pack up and head home. We stopped in Williamstown to dump our tanks at the rest area. It’s going to take some getting used to having such small tanks. It doesn’t take much to fill them up.

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When we got home, the grass was SO long, so as soon as we unhooked, I was on the mower. The weather was perfect…partly sunny with a cool breeze. When I finished, I cooked hotdogs out in the camper and we set up our chairs in front just like we do at the campground. We might as well pretend camp since we have all this land to spread out on!

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Mr. FixIt had to run to town for gas because I used the last of it in the mower. When he came back, he had the mail and waved me down. Do you remember when I bought that cute little camper that fell apart on the way to Colorado in 2019? Well, during my stay in Denver that trip, I lost my driver’s license. I went to the DMV and was able to get a temporary copy to get me home. Well, yesterday I received two things. A torn envelope in a clear plastic bag. And an envelope from the Postal Service in Charleston. 

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As best I can piece the story together, someone found my Driver’s License in Colorado and mailed it to me on September 17th, 2022…just a few days ago. Somehow, the letter got ripped open and my license was found loose in the mail in Charleston so the Postal folk put it in an envelope and sent it to me as well as the ripped envelope with an apology that it was in that condition without the contents.

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So, where was my license for the last three years? It didn’t look any worse for the wear. It looked exactly like it did the day I took it out of my wallet to show my ID to enter the high school where my daughter works. It probably got stuck in a lost and found somewhere and someone had the wherewithal to send it on to me. I’ve long since gotten a duplicate, but I thought it was pretty interesting that it finally made its way to me! If it could talk to me, what would it say???

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We’re heading to the dealership today to pick up the Big Birdhouse. I’m sure there will be more stories ahead!

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?

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““What man of you, having a hundred sheep, if he has lost one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the open country, and go after the one that is lost, until he finds it?”

\nLuke 15:4 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2022-09-23T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/09/23/its-always-over-way-too.html", "tags": ["Camping","Fun","Comfort"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/09/22/tales-of-the-great-outdoors.html", "title": "Tales of the Great Outdoors or “Fire in the Netheryea”", "content_html": "\n
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So, yesterday started out great. Mr. FixIt discovered his great grandparents are buried less than a half hour’s drive from the campground. We got up in time to grab breakfast from the Golden Arches and travel upriver on the West Virginia side. Find-a-Grave told us exactly where to go and gave us a picture of the headstone, to boot.

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With McMuffin and drinks in hand, we glided up the old State Route and turned up a hill side road. At the top was a sprawling cemetery with nearly 4,000 Memorials on Find-a-Grave. Mr. FixIt lamented at the sheer size and said it would take forever to find the headstone. I pulled up the picture of it from online, looked around to match the background profile, and drove straight to it. Sometimes I impress the heck out of my husband!

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We stood there quietly, staring at the headstone. Mr. FixIt walked around and brushed away the dead grass clippings from the mower. He told me stories. He never met that great grandfather, but he distinctly remembered his great grandmother. She lived with her daughter in Portsmouth, VA. He remembers she had white hair that went way down to the backs of her knees. Her daughter would brush it for her every night before bed. He figures there hadn’t been any visitors there since his great aunt was buried beside them in 1988. Here’s something we didn’t know. His great grandmother and my great grandmother shared the name Sabina! Middle name on his side…first name on mine!

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We soon left and drove on up the river, crossed the bridge, and came back down the Ohio side. When we returned to the campground, Mr. FixIt gathered his fishing gear and went down to the river’s edge to try his hand. After a few hours in the hot sun, he caught a little blue gill, no bigger than five inches long. I ran over to take the traditional trophy picture and we laughed and laughed.

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The neighbors on the other side of us called out what a great job he did. I went over to visit her for a while. They live in Lewisburg, WV…one of my favorite little towns in the Mountain State. I asked if she knew my friend, Nan and her family. They once owned The General Lewis Inn. And, of course, she did. I met Nan back in the ‘80s when she was a nurse at the hospital my husband was practicing in a little resort town near Aspen. She pulled out a beautiful harp like the one Nan played for the meditation class she had attended. She strummed it for a bit and I could see why she loved it. The notes were soft and soothing…perfect for an afternoon under the shade trees along the river.

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I said fair well and went back to our campsite to fix supper. I warmed up pot roast, steamed some broccoli and cauliflower, and heated up pre-made mashed potatoes. It was a meal fit for royalty, even if it WAS served on paper plates! Mr. FixIt went back to the river’s edge for a little more fishing time and I sat by the camper to knit. 

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This is the time of year when the stink bugs start swarming and they were driving me crazy. They get up on the side of the camper, then fall off on me…on my hair, down my shirt, and finally…one landed in my lap. Well…to be more exact…between my legs. I didn’t want to grab it because those things give off a wicked stench. It’s their defense mechanism. So, I tried to stand up. 

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We have these chairs. Great chairs, by the way. Big, round club chairs that are ever so comfortable to sit in and knit by the river. Which is what I’d been doing for about two hours. Those of you who are in my age bracket…you know what it’s like to sit for a long time in one position, then try to stand up. It didn’t go smoothly, and soon I recognized the malodorous reek of Eau de Brown Marmorated Stink Bug. Ugh! I quickly brushed the pest aside and sat back down to knit.

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Then…within a minute or so…things started getting kinda warm down there. It wasn’t long till things started going from bad to worse and I was frankly “on fire” in the netheryea region. And…NOT in a good way!

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I ran to the camper and jumped in the shower to rinse off. We have very little cell service here at the campground, so I texted my dear friend Sue, and said, “Don’t laugh at me, but my hootie is on fire! Can you look on Google and see if the liquid emitted by stink bugs is an irritant and what to do about it?”

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It took a little bit to hear back. I pictured her rolling on the floor laughing, yelling to Ben…”You’re not going to believe what she’s into now!” She finally responded with a polite lol and said to give her a minute. Turns out, people can be really sensitive to these nasty little buggers…as I can personally attest! Fortunately, the fire calmed down after about thirty minutes and I had already treated it correctly.

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I’ll be living in a bubble for the next few weeks, thank you very much!

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We’ll be packing up and heading home today. This has been a wonderful three days away at one of our favorite campgrounds. I can’t wait to get out again!

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?

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“And all winged insects are unclean for you; they shall not be eaten.”

\nDeuteronomy 14:19 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2022-09-22T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/09/22/tales-of-the-great-outdoors.html", "tags": ["Camping","Comfort","Friends"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/08/31/a-whole-new-thing.html", "title": "A Whole New Thing!", "content_html": "\n
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It’s been a while since I’ve made a quilt and I’m pretty excited to finally have a sewing nook set up at the house. There’s a spare room I’ve had my eye on, but there’s been a leak in the ceiling and the drywall needs fixed. That isn’t our highest priority right now so I needed to find an alternative. I didn’t want to set up someplace where I would need to put things away at the end of the day or when company comes. Also, I didn’t want to make a lot of noise and interrupt my sweetheart when he’s watching a show he enjoys.

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At first, I thought I would set up in front of the sliding glass door in the game room downstairs. But once I got to looking at it closely, it wasn’t exactly what I wanted. There weren’t any outlets nearby and I’ll need several. Also, I’d have to come up with something other than the folding plastic tables we have. Anyone who has used a sewing machine or a serger knows how they would bounce around like crazy on something other than a really sturdy table top.

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I went out in the building looking for a suitable table and couldn’t find one. I was about to go to the local thrift shop when I walked past an old L-shaped desk Mr. FixIt used to use a gazillion years ago. It had one of those old computers on it with the floppy disks and a monitor that weighs a ton. The light bulb when off. I’ve been walking past that desk for five years now and it never occurred to me to reappropriate it to my needs. 

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I went up and asked my sweetheart if he would mind if I clear off that old desk and use it as my sewing/writing/craft nook and he was all too happy to let me have it. I needed an extra power strip and the only one we have is in the camper at the dealership. I ran to our little town and after three stops, I not only found a power strip, but also a desk lamp to give me more light on the cutting table I set up. That plastic folding table is perfect for spreading out fabric for cutting.

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It took me a while to get everything cleared off the desk and get it clean enough to put light colored fabrics on without worrying. I cleaned out two desk drawers…one for notions and the other for fabrics I’ll be using later on in the project. I set up my $50 sewing/embroidery machine on the left “L” and the ironing board and iron on the right side. That way, I only have to swivel back and forth between the two and it made sewing a breeze.

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While I was in town earlier, I went back to the quilt shop and asked Carolyn to help me find a pattern and figure out how many blocks I would need for a king sized quilt. She did the math and I will need eight rows down and eight rows across for a total of sixty-four blocks. We found a pattern I really liked. It’s called Disappearing Double Pinwheel Quilt from Missouri Star Quilt Company. You can see the tutorial for it here.  

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I’m using a stack of pre-cut fabric called a Layer Cake. A package gives you forty-two 10” squares in a variety of fabrics. Different designers create Layer Cakes in their own fabric designs and color ways. I selected Purple Passion by Paula Barnes and a solid light linen color by Moda. The light solid sets off the pattern so you can really see it well.

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I started with the first step of sewing a light solid and a color square with right sides together. You sew around all four sides, then take your rotary cutter and cut an “x” from point to point creating four triangles. However, when you open the one triangles, you get a square with containing two triangles…on light and one dark. It’s kinda magic. 

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Once you have your four squares, you arrange them in a pinwheel and sew them together. And, here’s where the crazy part comes in. I trimmed that pinwheel down into a 12” square, then divided it in three 4” sections and slice it up…in both directions. You fiddle around with the squares turning them this way and that till you get them aligned correctly then sew them all back together. And I have to make SIXTY-FOUR of these bad boys…plus the borders! Now you know why I’m starting this the end of August for a June wedding! You can see my finished square. My points aren’t “State Fair Perfect” but I’m not being judged…it’s a gift. 

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I am so happy with the way my little sewing nook looks and functions. And I can’t wait to see how this quilt turns out! 

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“Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.”

\nProverbs 19:21 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2022-08-31T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/08/31/a-whole-new-thing.html", "tags": ["Fun","Comfort","Crafts"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/08/27/the-lord-always-provides.html", "title": "The Lord Always Provides", "content_html": "\n
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I am the first to admit…I spent a goodly portion of my adult life as a spoiled princess. While I’ve never been exorbitantly wealthy, I had pretty much anything I wanted. I was blessed, even though I wasn’t always aware of just HOW blessed I was till I became a widow and the majority of my monthly income instantly disappeared. I soon learned how to start watching how I spent my money and trimmed back my “gotta have that” list.

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Even so, when I started dating Mr. FixIt and it became evident we were going to share the rest of our lives together, I still had some bad shopping habits. I loved shopping till I had to downsize. Now I hate it. I don’t have the patience to hang out in a mall all day and drag bags of crap home that I do not need. Still, every once in a while, I find something that would really make my life easier or that would help me get from Point A to Point B in a more efficient manor.

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When I decided to make a quilt for my bonus granddaughter’s wedding, I realized I had a huge hurdle to overcome. I have an old Husqvarna Viking sewing machine, but the cassettes that make it run are stuck in a box somewhere in this house. It’s not going to do me a bit of good unless I go dumpster diving in the storage room in the basement. And that ain’t happening.

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I’ve thought several times over the years that I would get a new sewing machine, but they can get really pricey. I was really lucky to be able to use the sewing machine at the little quilt shop in our town the last time I made some quilts. When I went in to buy material this week, I found out she stopped selling machines and she needed the floor space for more fabric so there aren’t any sewing machines in there now.

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What to do? I already made the commitment to make they quilt by buying the material. I woke up yesterday morning and had the answer. I looked on FB Marketplace and there were two machines locally that would work fine. One was $100 and the other was $60. I figured I’d take whichever one answered first. Turned out it was the $100. It’s a Singer that also does embroidery. When I asked her if you need a computer to use the embroidery part she said yes, but straight sewing worked great…and, she would take $50. Sold!

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We drove to town to pick it up. She had it set up on the kitchen table with a little fabric in it and sure enough…it stitched perfectly. Fifty bucks is a steal and if I can get the embroidery part to work, it’ll be icing on the proverbial cake. As we were packing everything up to take it out to the car, I mentioned that I’d be all set if I could just find a serger. She said she had a friend who was selling a Brother serger for $50! She called her friend, gave me the address, and in fifteen minutes, I had a new-to-me serger to complete the sewing room I didn’t know I was going to have!

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I love getting a good deal. I love the hunt for the best price and finding exactly what I wanted or needed. FB Marketplace has really turned out to be handy for us. Once we had the two machines, we ran a couple of errands and headed home with our treasures. We sat out on the deck after the rainstorm and watched the sun go down. I mentioned to Mr. FixIt that we still needed to mount the new rain gauge somewhere. He went to get the drill and a couple of screws and in two shakes he had another job crossed off our list.

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The next couple of days are going to be really steamy hot here so I’m happy the mowing is done and I can work on projects in the air conditioning. I bought buttons yesterday for the sweater I’m knitting. I’m ready to bind off the second sleeve then I can pick up the stitches and knit the front plackets. Once I have the buttons stitched on, I can set up a table in the family room downstairs and start working on the quilt.

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I’ll put on a pot of beans with smoked ham hocks today and later I’ll bake a cast iron skillet of cornbread to go with it. We may not be living high on the hog, but we’ve got everything we need to live a sweet, comfortable life. And best of all…we get to do it together. That fact is not lost on me.

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“And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work. As it is written, “He has distributed freely, he has given to the poor; his righteousness endures forever.””

\n2 Corinthians 9:8-9 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2022-08-27T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/08/27/the-lord-always-provides.html", "tags": ["Comfort","Farm Life","Control"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/08/02/in-the-middle-of-a.html", "title": "In the Middle of a Mess I Find Gratitude", "content_html": "\n
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Sometimes things have to get torn completely apart before they can get fixed and made whole. I’ve learned this lesson over and over and over since Mr. Virgo died. Those lessons, while hard earned, have served me well in a plethora of circumstances since. I know it’s not a big deal. I know beyond all else that this is a first world problem. Trust me…I am grateful for every single thing in my life. That being said…things are going to be in a real mess around here for the next few days.

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Remember a few weeks ago when I showed you the weird mud tube that was growing up out of our new carpet in the family room? It turned out to be a termite tube. The family room used to be a garage and the floor underneath the carpet is cement. It turns out, there is a small crack in that floor and it allowed termites to tunnel in. We can’t have that! The termite guy came out that very afternoon. (I have the district team leader on speed dial since the great Flea Fiasco of 2016 out at the farm!) He scheduled someone to come out tomorrow, August 2nd and said we would need to have the carpet lifted so they can drill down into the cement to treat these nasty buggers where they live.

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We scheduled the carpet dude to come out yesterday. That meant we had to move all the furniture from that end of the room so they could peel the rug back. I took a nap when we got home from Columbus on Sunday, so…I was still awake at 6:00 yesterday morning. I just got up and moved what furniture I could manage alone and left the rest for Mr. FixIt and the carpet dude. Unfortunately, the carpet padding is glued down and they can’t lift that, so hopefully they can accomplish what they need to do without tearing everything out. If that happens, we have to remove the entire carpet and install a new pad. Ugh!

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Once the house is treated, the carpet dudes will return on Thursday to put everything back down. In the meantime….the entire room is an exercise in chaos. I’m not a neat freak by any stretch of the imagination. But this is a little….no, a LOT over the top. But, it’s small potatoes. You know why? Because even as we speak, there are families down in Kentucky who have suffered devastating floods and they would be thrilled to have a house that was still on its foundation. There are families in California who are running for their lives from devastating wildfires. And don’t even get me started on Ukraine.

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No, this is an inconvenience. A hangnail on the thumb of life. I will not complain about any of this mundane stuff. I mean, really…it’s not like I have anything else to do to keep me occupied. I still can’t mow. We’ve had monsoon rains for a good portion of the last two weeks. I think tomorrow is shaping up to be the most promising day to get out on the tractor, but we’ll see.

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Mr. FixIt had to run to town yesterday and I stayed home to work on this hat I’m knitting for Christmas. I got Bear’s extras packed up that didn’t fit in the suitcase so I can get them shipped off to Colorado. I cleaned the kitchen. And that was the extent of my accomplishments  for the day.

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“give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”

\n1 Thessalonians 5:18 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2022-08-02T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/08/02/in-the-middle-of-a.html", "tags": ["Comfort","Choices","Change","Farm Life"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/07/25/day-ten-was-so-peaceful.html", "title": "Day Ten Was SO Peaceful", "content_html": "\n
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It was a pleasant valley Sunday in our neck of the woods. We. Did. Nothing. That’s what God tells us to do on His day, right? We got the mowing done during the week. We changed our travel plans to stay home. The Big Birdhouse is in the Camper Hospital so no camping. And besides…it was WAY too hot to do anything. When it’s even too hot to eat, you know it’s too hot to do much of anything else either.

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Little has been nursing a sore tooth the last couple of weeks. It’s nothing they can’t handle, and there are plans to see a dentist as soon as they get back home. There was a little more discomfort yesterday, so the lay low day came at just the perfect time. By the end of the day, it was much better and today we’ll be back at it full speed. We all need a down day from time to time, right? Especially when it’s too hot and you’re tired and don’t feel your best.

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Today’s big adventure will be a trip to town to hunt for some half-runner beans. Little wants to learn how to preserve food and we’ll start with canning beans and making jelly. We might also make a blackberry pie if I can find some good berries. This is something I’ve always wanted to teach little because my grandma taught me. I remember sitting out on the front porch at the farm, stringing beans, then canning them in quart jars. There were shelves packed full of yummy food to eat over the winter. We don’t know what the future will bring so I believe it is imperative the younger generation learns how to grow and preserve their own food, make their own clothes, build and heat their own homes. And Little is all about the pioneer spirit involved in leading a simpler life.

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I finished knitting the cute little Christmas stocking yesterday afternoon while watching a Monk Marathon as Mr. FixIt snoozed in his recliner. Our family room was once a garage so there aren’t any vents in there for the central AC. It’s literally the hottest room in the house, unless you count the kitchen when I’m cooking. We have some fans set up to draw the cool air into the room, but it’s not enough to make a huge difference. The first year I was here, Mr. FixIt had a HUGE window air conditioner in there, but it roared so loud the TV had to be blaring to hear it. Honestly, it’s really only bad for a couple or three weeks and then it’s just the late afternoons. It’s nearly impossible for us to put that AC unit in by ourselves, the kids are always busy, so we just suck it up. We drink cold beverages, add another fan, and before we know it, the cooler days will come again. It’s actually supposed to rain for the rest of the week here so hopefully that will tamp down the temperatures a little and break this terrible heat wave.

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We’re trying to be creative with our summer meal planning to keep from heating up the house anymore than we have to. But canning is definitely going to tax our ability to keep the house cool. Back when I was growing up, Grandma had a cook stove down in the basement where she did the majority of her canning. Some people here and in the south have “summer kitchens” when there’s a covered area to work in the shade and not heat up the house. Maybe someday I’ll have something like that. But for the time being, I’ll set up the window fan and exhaust the heat out of the kitchen that way. If I had an electric canner, I could set it up on the covered porch, but I haven’t found one that’s big enough to make it worth my while. 

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I hope y’all are managing to keep yourselves cool and safe from this terrible heat wave. If you have any helpful hints for beating the heat, please share! Maybe we haven’t thought of it or tried it yet. Prayers for cooler days ahead! Little and I ended our day with a long swim in the pool under the market lights. It was refreshing!

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“Praise the Lord! Praise God in his sanctuary; praise him in his mighty heavens! Praise him for his mighty deeds; praise him according to his excellent greatness! Praise him with trumpet sound; praise him with lute and harp! Praise him with tambourine and dance; praise him with strings and pipe! Praise him with sounding cymbals; praise him with loud clashing cymbals! Let everything that has breath praise the Lord! Praise the Lord!”

\nPsalm 150:1-6 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2022-07-25T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/07/25/day-ten-was-so-peaceful.html", "tags": ["Family","Comfort","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/07/07/the-calm-after-the-storm.html", "title": "The Calm After the Storm", "content_html": "\n
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We had appointments with the eye doctor yesterday. Time for new glasses, I’m afraid. For years, I only bought my eyeglasses through the optometric clinic. Sometimes I had really great insurance that provided a new pair every year. Other times I had none and paid out of pocket whether I could really afford it or not. We didn’t have much of a choice of buying options. Now we live on a fixed income with Medicare and Social Security. We’re back to being careful with our money. As they say…watch your pennies and your dollars will watch themselves.

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Mr. FixIt is the one who turned me on to buying my glasses online. He had used Zenni for a few years so I gave it at try the last time I needed a new pair. While they weren’t the greatest quality…certainly not what I had become accustomed to…they were perfectly adequate. The prescription came back accurate and they were delivered in a couple of weeks. And, I was able to buy a pair of glasses and a pair of sunglasses for less than one pair would have cost had I gone my more traditional route.

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The key to getting glasses online is to tell the optometric office when you check out that you would like to have a copy of your prescription along with your Pupil Distance measurement. They won’t like this, of course. They are banking on you spending a delightful hour or two trying on frames and fawning over your choices then dropping some serious coin in their store. I head them off at the pass by looking them directly in the eye, smile and say, “I’m retired and live on a fixed income. I buy my glasses online, so I will need a copy of my prescription, please.” I’ve never had any trouble save for a slight shift in demeanor which doesn’t bother me a whip. Mr. FixIt ordered his new glasses and sunglasses last night and they totaled under $200. I’ll fiddle around with mine later today. 

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I received a gift from a friend yesterday. Kindness doesn’t grow on trees. Kindness is a choice. And it is one that far too many people have forgotten to make anymore. It doesn’t take much to be kind. My friend lives in a teeny, tiny magical cottage and she is forever having to curate what she can keep and what she can send on its way to bring joy to another person. She didn’t go out and buy these treasures for me new. She poured her love into them for a while, then she sent them on to me. She does this for people all the time. 

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I’m going to start doing this. This isn’t “re-gifting.” This is spreading love with tangible items that were carefully selected for a specific person and a specific purpose. It doesn’t cost as much as buying a gift and shipping it. And it reduces waste while it spreads kindness into the world. So, thank you to my sweet friend. You are so special and so loved!

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I was writing this post when Mr. FixIt called to me to come look at the sunset with him. The sky was streaked with peach, yellow, pink, blue, and indigo as the sun headed west for it’s final hurrah of the day. The creek was roaring from the heavy rain we had in the afternoon. The frogs were serenading from the creek beyond the far field. Bats dipped and dove over our heads, feasting on the early evening treasure trove of mosquitoes. The catbird in the maple tree out front was putting up a fuss as we were invading her turf. The lightning bugs were rising from their daytime hideaway in the field grasses…on the search for summer love. I turned to my sweetheart and smiled. He wrapped me in his arms and held me close, kissing me on the forehead. And for that moment…we were safe and all was right with the world.

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“Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.””

\nHebrews 13:5 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2022-07-07T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/07/07/the-calm-after-the-storm.html", "tags": ["Comfort","Choices","Farm Life","Kindness"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/07/06/an-island-of-sanity-in.html", "title": "An Island of Sanity in a Sea of Madness", "content_html": "\n
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The view from the front door…which is actually the back door.

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I read an op ed yesterday that said both parties want you to be afraid. They’re counting on it. Some for real, scary reasons. Others for whipping up zealous fervor. For me…and for my mental health…I am trying to keep my life on an even keel. There are so many places to seek the truth based on actual facts. I will do all I can to remain sane while staying informed. AND…I will try my best to keep it out of here.

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Why?

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Because…we all need a safe place to land. To read a story. To hear a beautiful piece of music or gaze upon a lovely piece of art. To see goodness in the world. There is STILL goodness in the world….even when it is so, so difficult to see or feel. My friend is going through some hard stuff. She told me the other day…she can’t see God. My heart breaks for her because I’ve been there, too. It’s easy to see and hear God when things are all hunky dory. It’s terribly difficult when life is hitting you from every angle and knocking you down.

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Our morning visitor…a young red-shouldered hawk.

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It’s so hard when you see the news…when you hear of all the death and destruction. It’s crazy making when you see people do things that are so incredibly out of character because the world is just amping up to the nth degree. It’s so frustrating when you know what needs to be done…what SHOULD be done…but it’s not being done. It’s so hard when you’re grieving the loss of your person. Life can be so hard.

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Our little island of sanity in the sea of madness.

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We do need to be responsible adults. We can’t just stick our heads in the sand. We need to suit up and show up and do the right things. We need to remember Luke 6:31ESV “And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.” I don’t see that very much and if you are professing to be Christian…that’s the whole basis of Christianity. That’s where all the focus should be. Love. Love like you want to be loved. 

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The ”Duck Whisperer.”

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That being said…we also need to have moments of respite from the chaos. Pray. Go for a walk. Drink a glass of water. Take the dog for a walk or play with the cat. Play a word game. Listen to praise music or whatever your favorite is. Call a friend. Go out for coffee. Read a book. Sing. Take a yoga class. Learn to knit or crochet or paint or draw or play a musical instrument. Plant flowers. Bake a pie. Clean a closet. Volunteer. One can stay engaged without it sucking the life out of you. I have to be pretty regimented about what I allow in, but that doesn’t mean I’m uniformed. 

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Our babies!

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I wanted to share with you a little piece of what my life is like here in West Virginia. This is thirty-one seconds of perfection. This is what I’ve wanted my whole life and now all I have to do is walk out our back door every evening and listen. I wish you could hear it for yourselves in person…to feel the warm evening breeze on your skin…to smell the woods and the freshness from the rain…but, this will have to do.

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A July evening in the ”Far Field.”

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Hang in there, dear ones. We’re going to make it. Just keep your balance between being informed and being peaceful. And if you need more…here are ten promises from God.

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I will strengthen, help, and uphold you. Isaiah 41:10

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I will never leave you. Have no fear. Hebrews 13:5-6

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I gave you power and a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7

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I will comfort you. Psalm 23:4

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Be strong and courageous...I am with you. Deuteronomy 31:6

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I will give you peace. John 14:27

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I'm working in your life beyond your imagination. Ephesians 3:20

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I am your strength through everything. Psalm 46:1-3

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Give me your troubles, I've got you. Psalm 55:22

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I will fight for you. Deuteronomy 20:4

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God's got you. So do all the people who love you. 

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“for the Lord your God is he who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies, to give you the victory.’”

\nDeuteronomy 20:4 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2022-07-06T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/07/06/an-island-of-sanity-in.html", "tags": ["Comfort","Peace","Fear","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/06/23/you-know-i-cant-stay.html", "title": "You KNOW I Can’t Stay Away!", "content_html": "\n
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We are having a grand time camping in one of our favorite state parks in the whole wide world. But, I’m telling you what…it is H.O.T. We have an air conditioner that will freeze meat but it is located under the bed I sleep in. Have I ever told you I’m a light sleeper? Well, this thing is kinda like what I would imagine sleeping on top of a jet engine would sound and feel like. The bed vibrates and it’s so loud and it switches off and on with the thermostat. The first night here was so nice and cool in the high 50’s. Tuesday night? Not so much! The only way to sleep was with the AC running and I was awake all night.

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Daddy…and Mommy…Long Legs!

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As I sat outside yesterday morning with my coffee, the birds were singing. The campground was blissfully quiet, as it almost always is midweek. Suddenly, I remembered when I had my first camper. I couldn’t sleep on that bunk bed either. I put the dinette down and slept there. So I told Mr. FixIt I was going to move all the stuff from the dinette area over to the bunk I was sleeping on. When I got it done, I stretched out and it was perfect! 

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We drove to a little town twenty miles away and looked around through some antique stores. There was only one thing I really liked and that was a Campfire Marshmallow tin from the ‘30s. It was in the window and the clerk couldn’t get in to look at the price. I climbed into the window and squeezed between things and could NOT believe the price. $275!!! I liked it, but not THAT much! I’ll keep my eyes peeled and see if I can find a more affordable one.

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I’ve been knitting and visiting with what few campers there are here. I met a very nice lady who has a similar story to mine. She took off in her popup Volkswagen Vanagon camper and ended up going all over the country and finally married her high school beau! They have the sweetest rescue dog named Stella. I love a good camping dog.

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We ate in Amish Country yesterday and that is the best cooking you can find. Mr. FixIt had chicken and noodles and I had baked steak. We took apple dumplings back to the camper with us for dessert. We have one more night camping then we head home. We have been blessed the storms went around us for the most part. We did find out some of our peeps came down with covid this week so please keep them in your prayers. Thank God for vaccines because the virus has calmed down tremendously. It doesn’t affect those who have been vaccinated nearly as bad as it did in that first year and a half.

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Buffalo Leafhopper

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I’ll be back on Saturday…I just couldn’t wait!

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“Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.”

\nPsalm 19:14 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2022-06-23T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/06/23/you-know-i-cant-stay.html", "tags": ["Camping","Comfort","Be Joyful!","Big Birdhouse"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/05/21/taking-a-little-me-time.html", "title": "Taking a Little Me Time", "content_html": "\n
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My view out the dormer window yesterday morning…SNOW!

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I spent a portion of the day yesterday reorganizing the camper to make it more comfortable. The busyness of the last couple of weeks caught up with me and I’m just going to lay low, read, knit, visit with my brother a little. I went to the cemetery Thursday. The caretaker was there. Mike is 75 and has been caring for the cemetery for many years…on a volunteer basis. He recognized me when I pulled in and waved hello. We sat and visited for a while. He was most apologetic that he hadn’t gotten over to our corner yet and the weeds were pretty high. Mike said the snow was knee deep this winter and that makes the grasses sprout up like crazy  in the spring. The cemetery is normally unattended and only has maintenance a couple of times a year anyway.

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I now have one of my cushy chairs in the camper. It fits perfectly between the benches of the dinette. I have one of the matching footstools and a battery powered lantern beside me, so it’s the perfect place to knit and read. I stopped at the store last night and bought some foodstuffs and stored it in the cooler sealed tight and in the bed of the truck with the topper and the tailgate locked. My dry goods are in the non-operational refrigerator so there’s no food scents to attract mama bear.

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I love hearing the sound of the creek rushing by right outside my window. And feeling the cool mountain air. Thank God there are no fires nearby. Colorado needs this moisture desperately! It snowed till about 3:00 but its going to keep snowing in the mountains and the Front Range, which is where I’ll be heading tomorrow, or maybe Monday. I’ve been enjoying my visits with my brother. He’s crafty…he’s been hitting me up for dinner every night! lol

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I went to the hot springs to soak yesterday after supper. I have been so disappointed at how this sleepy little mountain town is bursting at the seams these days. They are land-locked yet building continues and it feels like stepping into a bee hive. I didn’t stay at the springs too long. I basically went to get a shower and wash my hair anyway, so mission accomplished. I was perfectly happy to come back to the camper and curl up with my knitting and a good book.

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?

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“And he said to them, “Come away by yourselves to a desolate place and rest a while.” For many were coming and going, and they had no leisure even to eat.”

\nMark 6:31 ESV\n
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#Rest, #Camping, #Colorado

\n\n \n", "date_published": "2022-05-21T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/05/21/taking-a-little-me-time.html", "tags": ["Colorado","Camping","Comfort","Big Birdhouse"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/05/06/day-two-is-in-the.html", "title": "Day Two is in The Books!", "content_html": "\n
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I didn’t sleep well the first night on the road. You know how it is when you get out of your routine and you don’t drink enough water or eat the right stuff. And, my brain was still moving when I finally laid my head on the pillow. I did sleep…but fitfully. And there’s not a lot of places to wander around in this tiny camper. I could have made a cup of tea, but it all seemed like too much bother at 3:00am. 

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I fiddled around once I finally woke up and by the time I got hooked up and on the road, it was already 10:00! I forgot to check my tire pressure before I left the campground so I pulled into a service station. The machine was broken and it crossed me to actually LOSE air pressure. I went to another one, and it was broken as well! They should have a sign on them and it didn’t even occur to me to see if there was a phone number I could call to complain. Lesson learned.

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I decided to drive the three miles back to the campground and ask if I could plug in my extension cord and pump up my tires with the portable air compressor I carry with me at all times. She did me one better. She had me pull around to the back and her husband pumped up my tires for me with his big air compressor. The folks who own Grandpa’s Farm Campground in Richmond, IN are the best. And…if you ever travel through and stay over on a Saturday night, they have Camp Church on Sundays…complete with coffee and donuts! Check them out if you have the opportunity.

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I no sooner got on the road till the rain hit. Everything from drizzle to downpour and back again on a gray and murky day. I-70 was absolutely crazy! And they are still working on it…with big portions closed…in Indianapolis. I am driving the northerly route and cut across Illinois on a diagonal. I wanted to get as far north of the bad storms as I can. The relief I felt was palpable when I left all that traffic behind and sailed along through America’s bread basket. Beautiful farmland…rich, dark, and flat stretched out on either side…anxiously waiting to burst forth their bounty. This far north, the redbud looks like it did on our way to the beach in the middle of April. They haven’t quite started to gain their brilliant green leaves that contrast so beautifully with the fading purply-pink of their blossoms.

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I had a long talk with my precious friend, Sparky as I drove through the rain yesterday. I miss her so desperately. I try not to focus on that loss too much as it hurts so deeply. I told her I would never go on a camping trip again without “taking her with me”. She hated camping but she went anyway. I hated losing her…but she died anyway. This is what she gets for leaving me…camping revenge. I may hear about this when I get to see her again…but she’ll just have to deal with it for now!

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I stopped at a rest area in the middle of the sprawling farmland for a rest. Now, this is the first time I’ve come up against a downside of this kind of popup camper. I can’t just hop out of the truck, run back to the camper, and stretch out for a nap, use the potty, and eat some lunch. If the weather were nicer, I could certainly have popped up the camper and taken a snooze, but I’m not doing that in a downpour. So, I rummages around in the truck and found a small blanket. I created a turban around my head, leaned the seat back, and slept for an hour. I was so refreshed when I awoke. 

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I grabbed a snack and hear the man in the semi next to me calling out for my attention. I rolled the window down slightly and he asked how I like my camper. He and his lady friend bought one recently and this weekend will be their first outing. He’s never camped before and they are going to see the country together. I had to smile. He is retired Army. He did three tours in Iraq, for which I thanked him profusely. We had a lovely chat and I wished him a fun and abundant life on the road. 

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I knew I was getting close to the campground I stayed at last night when I passed a sign for Pekin, IL. My grandparents lived in Mishawaka, IN when my mom was born, then they moved to Pekin, IL and two or three more babies came along. They moved around to find work during the depression and this was where they landed before returning home to West Virginia. If the weather had been nicer, I might have gotten out and looked around but as it was…I moved on down the road.

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I was a little puzzled when I saw the time of my projected arrival come and go on the GPS. That’s when I suddenly realized, I had crossed over the date line between Eastern and Central time. Which meant…I had another hour to go! I don’t know why I forget that every time. It’s not bad coming in the other direction because it feels like you’re not driving as long. But going west forces you to change your expectations.

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As I was nearing the end of day two, I sent up a prayer and asked God to ease up on this rain so I could get set up without getting soaked. He was so generous to oblige when the rain stopped about 10 minutes before I got to the campground. I got a beautiful site…flat and level, with a nice view. I didn’t have to unhook so it was no time before I had everything set up and I was comfortably snuggled in the Big Birdhouse. I fixed supper from the stuff in the cooler and settled in to write my daily letter to you all.

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Another day done. Mr. FixIt worked on the new fire-pit today then went to the youngest granddaughter’s softball game. It’s a busy time of year for everyone and I’m thrilled to be spending it doing something I love…driving and camping…and heading toward people that I love. So…stay tuned for another installment of…The Grand Adventure!

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?

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“And he said, “My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.””

\nExodus 33:14 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2022-05-06T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/05/06/day-two-is-in-the.html", "tags": ["Camping","Comfort","Peace","Road Trip","Big Birdhouse"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/05/01/we-interrupt-this-program.html", "title": "We Interrupt This Program", "content_html": "\n
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As I find myself aging, my body changes in so many ways. Some grand and glorious…some, not so much. Primary hyperparathyroidism makes you anxious and can cause lots of “upper GI disturbances”. Anxiety on its own can also cause these tummy troubles. Now that I have both sources, my body tells me if I’m nauseous, I must be anxious and my body sends out a huge jolt of adrenaline which only compounds the issue. 

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I’ve discovered by a system of elimination…combined with a short memory…that I simply cannot eat heavy foods anymore. Nine times out of ten they make me sick and send me on a spiral of ickiness. Remember when I taught myself how to make Miss Brenda Gantt’s wonderful Buttermilk Biscuits and Sausage Gravy? Can’t do it anymore. Yesterday, I made French Toast and Bacon. Nope…add that to the list of things this old body wont accept anymore.

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Hey…it’s not all a bad thing (except when I forget how sick it makes me and think this time is bound to be different.) those things are not good for my cholesterol and my weight. So, it’s God’s way of saying…cut that crap out! 

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Yesterday was supposed to be mowing day, but it rained during the night and off and on all day so the grass was too wet. Then I was not feeling up to it. Mr. FixIt went out to the farm to double check the pump to make sure all is well with the well. (See what I did there?) It was. When he got home, he went out on the riding mower for a while and got some of the field done.

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I spent the day making my packing list for the trip. It’s crazy all the things I think I need. And, since the camper is at the dealership, hopefully getting fixed by Wednesday, I cannot pack it here. I have to pack it all in the truck and spend the first couple of nights on the road organizing and making the beds, etc. I’ve decided to try to head out on Wednesday so I can be in Denver a couple of days before the senior festivities begin. That way I can rest up from the drive.

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I am teaching myself how to combine two sock patterns so I can knit one with some texture to it. I think it’s going pretty well. I love to watch something come together and become something beautiful as well as useful. Knitting offers me captive time to sit quietly with Jesus and talk to Him. We work out lots of things. I give over more and more of myself with every stitch and He promises to carry the weight of all my worries so I don’t have to. Writing does the same thing for me. I can feel terribly anxious or out of sorts, but by the time I get to the end of a post, I feel so much better. Sitting with my “monkey brain” is not a good place to be. Shining the light of Jesus into all the dark corners brings me back into focus and, while all may not be right with the world, I feel much better prepared to handle whatever comes my way. And…isn’t that the peace that is beyond all understanding?

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Happy May Day! 

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?

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“Your testimonies are wonderful; therefore my soul keeps them. The unfolding of your words gives light; it imparts understanding to the simple.”

\nPsalm 119:129-130 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2022-05-01T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/05/01/we-interrupt-this-program.html", "tags": ["Health","Comfort","Peace","Aging"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/04/20/time-and-beauty.html", "title": "Time and Beauty", "content_html": "\n
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The high today was only 56° but the sky was crystal blue…not a cloud to be seen until mid-afternoon. It was still breezy which made it feel a lot colder. Our first thoughts were beach time and fishing, but stepping out on the deck convinced us otherwise. Later in the morning, we decided we might go over to the Elizabethan Gardens and walk around, but again…that same windy condition is there, too. So, Mr. FixIt dropped me off at Knitting Addiction and I browsed a little and bought a little and knitted a little till he came back to pick me up.

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We thought we’d make an attempt to walk on the beach but once we had lunch, it was nap time. At supper time, we thought we’d go to Henry’s for seafood, but on the way there, we decided neither one of us wanted anything that heavy. We turned around and went up the island to Corolla and bought picnic stuff at Harris-Teeter and ate semi al fresco by the lighthouse.

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When we got there, the small parking area was totally empty, but the closer we got to sunset, the more people arrived. Pretty soon, there was close to a hundred people up there with their cameras poised to catch the end of the day. The sunset was pretty, but it wasn’t stellar. I think the first year I came here was the prettiest sunset I’ve ever seen…full of clouds and colors and sunbeams in every direction. There were very few clouds last night so it wasn’t spectacular.

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Still and all, it was a beautiful day and it wasn’t spitting snow all day like it was at home! This is one of those winters that just won’t let go! And before we know it, we’ll be complaining that it’s too darned hot. We humans are seldom completely satisfied. That’s why I try to practice mindfulness and really experience what is happening in the moment because that’s really all we have. Once time passes, our only tie to it is our memories and the people we shared the experience with. And tomorrow? Who knows whether…or IF…tomorrow will come? No, all we have is the gift of the moment that God gives us. If we can make the best of as many of those as possible, then we’ve strung together a strand of pearls that constitute a beautiful life.

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Today. What will today bring?

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?

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“But do not overlook this one fact, beloved, that with the Lord one day is as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day.”

\n\n", "date_published": "2022-04-20T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/04/20/time-and-beauty.html", "tags": ["Travel","Fun","Comfort","Peace"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/04/05/working-on-wellness.html", "title": "Working on Wellness", "content_html": "\n
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Seventeen years ago, I had an innocuous looking freckle on my arm. It didn’t bother me. I’d had it for awhile, it seemed. I had a lot on my plate in the previous few years going through a dreadful depression and the breakup of a twenty year marriage. A freckle on my arm was the least of my worries. 

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Daughter #2 loved reading her dad’s medical journals when they arrived at the house. She’d been reading them since she was five and was particularly intrigued by the ones that dealt with skin health. One afternoon during her two weeks with me, she noticed the freckle on my arm and…with alarm in her voice…insisted I make an appointment to have it checked.

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My family doctor said she would take a biopsy, but she didn’t think there was anything to worry about. Two days later, she called me to say she had made an appointment with the plastic surgeon to have more of the tissue removed. The diagnosis? Melanoma.

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My daughter was right, and has reminded me of that ever since. I have yearly full body skin checks. I had a precancerous lesion removed from my chest last year. I had my yearly check yesterday and I have three precancerous lesions on my face. These are a less serious variety than last year’s so she gave me the option of having them frozen or using a topical chemotherapy. I elected the latter. I’ve done that before and it’s worked out fine. I assured her I would keep a close eye on it and if needed, I’ll return right away. I don’t mess around with those things.

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I went into town early enough to sit at one of my favorite coffee shops to knit and people watch. The Bodega is such a sweet place with big comfy chairs and tables. They have a variety of sweets to go with your beverages….like pecan rolls, cinnamon rolls, and scones. My favorites are the sweet treats from Sweet Ash Cookies. They are not only perfectly decorated…but they taste great, too.

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I slowly sipped my ginger tea and watched the other customers. A young mom came in with her two boys and their Nana. They brought along Molly, their beautiful Golden Retriever. She was so well behaved and came over for a quick pet…and a little sniff to see if maybe I had a treat for her. I love Goldens…they are angels in fur suits. The boys came in like a whirlwind, touching everything as little boys do. There was a cursory banging on the piano, then a quick search through the toy box before they selected some blocks and began competing to see who could build the tallest tower. The place got so quiet when they blew out the front door like little raucous tumbleweeds.

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My next focus was on a mama and her sweet little girl. They were waiting for “sissy” to get out of school. They sat at the table munching on bubble waffles (it’s a thing). Mama explained the rules of Connect Four and they set to playing a game. It was great till Mama blocked the Little’s row and she wasn’t havin’ it, thank you very much. It seems Mama didn’t quite get the finer points of the game across. Given her age and the setting, I was happy to see Mama create a new goal to see who could fill their row first with one color. They soon left, happy as little clams, and headed out into the misty grey West Virginia morning.

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A young woman worked on a computer at the table in the corner. A man waited on his lunch order, quietly scrolling through his phone. No one wore a mask but me. I did take it off for my cookie and tea. When I got to the doctor’s office, the front desk person informed me they had lifted the mask restrictions and I was free to remove mine if I wished. I told her I preferred to leave it on. She said she would make a note in my chart and the doctor and staff would also wear masks in deference to my comfort. I thanked her profusely.

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History will be rewritten. People will forget the devastation the pandemic wrought. They’ll spin the tale as over cautious or political over reach. But those of us who understand science and worked in the field won’t forget. Do I like wearing a mask? Not particularly…but then again, I’ve worn one for so long now, it’s automatic and doesn’t bother me a bit. I haven’t had so much as a sniffle since covid started. Why would I want to expose myself to that again? I like staying healthy. And, it doesn’t hurt anyone else so I’ll just wear it and call it good.

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It was another beautiful day…rain or not. Today is knitting group…a decidedly fun gathering. A great way to start out my week.

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?

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“Beloved, I pray that all may go well with you and that you may be in good health, as it goes well with your soul.”

\n3 John 1:2 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2022-04-05T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/04/05/working-on-wellness.html", "tags": ["Health","Comfort","Peaceful Moments"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/03/27/soup-beans-and-corn-bread.html", "title": "Soup Beans and Corn Bread", "content_html": "\n
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My recipe for soup beans is very simple. Soak 1 small bag of navy beans overnight. In the morning, wash and sort through for any errant stones, then place in slow cooker. Add a good sized smoked ham hock and a medium yellow onion cut into chunks. Add enough water to cover the beans by an inch and add fresh cracked black pepper. Cook on high for 4-6 hours till tender then drop to warm till meal time. Serve with hot cornbread fresh from the oven.

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Even though we don’t technically live on a farm, we do have five acres out in the country. We garden and mow and put up food in the fall, just like we did when I was growing up, so…I call it a farm life. I love it. The peace and quiet. The spring peepers (little tree frogs) calling. The great variety of birds that visit our feeders. All the great flower beds we have around. Our property is essentially a trapezoid-shaped chunk of land bordered by two creeks and a country road. It’s our little slice of “Almost Heaven”. 

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When I was a young bride, all I wanted to do was to get the heck out of here. When I became a single mom, I elected to stay in Denver for the greater educational opportunities my daughter would receive. When my second daughter was born, any thought of moving to West Virginia was impossible till she grew up and finished college. By that time, I was married to Mr. Virgo and he had no desire to move back here. He’d spent his entire life trying to get to Colorado and that’s where he would stay till the day he died.

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Once he was gone and I passed that one year mark as a widow, I pulled up roots for a number of reasons and made the big break for my home state. God has plans for us to prosper, and I’ve prospered emotionally big time since arriving in West Virginia. It is the home of my heart. Living on my grandparents’ farm was such an incredible blessing. Then, running into Mr. FixIt again and eventually marrying and moving to this plot of land…my life has come full circle.

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I’ve kind of slacked off the baking and country cooking over the winter, but occasionally I just need to pull out all the stops and go for a great meal of comfort food. Last week, I cooked a pot of soup beans with a great big smoked ham hock, a quartered yellow onion, and a few dashes of cracked black pepper in them. We’ve each eaten a couple of bowls of beans from that pot and there was enough for each of us to have one big bowl yesterday. 

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I put the beans on to reheat in my grandma’s old waterless cookware pan that she cooked potatoes in. Then I set to mixing up a batch of cornbread. I’ll share a link to the recipe HERE. I used my #8 Griswold cast iron skillet to bake it and….oh, my….it was SO good. Crispy on the outside and deliciously moist on the inside. I don’t like a crumbly cornbread. But I also don’t like it to be too cake like or overly sweet. This recipe was perfect and it has gone in my arsenal to make again. The recipe calls for milk, but I like buttermilk in my cornbread so I easily made the substitution.

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We enjoyed a lazy Saturday. It was cold and either raining or spitting snow off and on all day. Hopefully, this is the last of Old Man Winter, but we could still get a cold stretch in April. I finished the black wool hat to match the mittens and worked on the shawl I’ve been knitting. Hopefully I’ll have it finished for the trip to Colorado in May. I’d like to wear it to the graduation since it will be outdoors. It’s still pretty cool in May in the Rockies.

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It’s hard to believe March is almost over. Our fruit trees are trying to bud out but we’ve had two nights in a row below freezing, so I doubt we’ll see pears and crabapples this year. I have the new bedding out in the Big Birdhouse so hopefully I’ll get a little time out there today dressing the twin beds. I need to check the fridge, and if it’s still not working on electric, then give it a try on propane. If it isn’t working, I’ll need to call the dealership tomorrow to schedule repairs.

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I can’t wait to go on a real camping trip!!!

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?

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“And God said, “Behold, I have given you every plant yielding seed that is on the face of all the earth, and every tree with seed in its fruit. You shall have them for food.”

\nGenesis 1:29 ESV\n
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#Comfort, #SoupBeans, #Cornbread

\n\n", "date_published": "2022-03-27T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/03/27/soup-beans-and-corn-bread.html", "tags": ["Comfort","Farm Life","Cooking","In the Kitchen"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/03/25/the-silence-is-deafening.html", "title": "The Silence is Deafening", "content_html": "\n
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Two years ago, the noise on my Facebook page was horrifying. So much anger and hatred. Politics, Faith, Health, and Interpersonal Relationships were crashing into each other with great waves of sound and emotion. It made my head hurt. It made my heart hurt. I tried listening. I tried reasoning. I tried educating..sharing fact based resources. But it seemed, everyone on the planet believed THEY knew what was right, what was truth, what was fact.

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I seriously couldn’t take it. I prayed about it and asked God to please tone down the noise level in my life. Something like a dull roar, perhaps. The message I got was…”Do what I ask of you. Write.” So, I kept writing. And slowly, slowly, slowly…the noise level has dropped tremendously, even in the midst of the current events. 

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I’m sure there are those who have disconnected from me, just as there are some I have disconnected myself from. Life is too short to live it in constant turmoil. I’ve learned to put a governor on my mouth. I don’t have to always be “right”. I don’t have to know all the answers. I’m not an expert on international relations or politics or science. I’m just a grandma who loves Jesus and has less years in front of me than I do behind. 

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When I look through my newsfeed on Facebook now, it’s filled with friends showing off their grandbabies or their latest quilting project or their favorite music group. There are posts about the news of the day, but these folks are all respectful. If they see something they don’t agree with, they either scroll on by or offer their viewpoint in a non-confrontational way. It’s like…all of a sudden…people are remembering their manners. At least, they are in my little curated corner of the world.

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I don’t have my head in the sand. I know what’s going on in the world. And, I dare say, the trolls are still out there…stirring up trouble. But I’ve uninvited them from my party. Consequently, the silence on my page is almost deafening. There is a part of me that wonders what they’re up to. Are they cooking up something bad? Is there another shoe about to drop? I do not know. All I know is, I know how this story ends. I know Who wins…and that’s the side I’m sticking to. Besides, I never wake up a sleeping baby.

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I’ll enjoy this peace and quiet. I can pray so much better without all the noise. Our home is more peaceful. I’m sleeping better than I think I ever have. My anxiety reactions are fewer and farther between. It almost feels like I’ve been let out of prison. And, in a way, I suppose I have…albeit a self-imposed one. I’ve prayed over and over and over in the last several months. 

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“Lord, please change me.”

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Indeed…my prayers have been answered. Something inside me has changed. I can’t even describe it other than I have this inner peace that feels like a bubbling spring of fresh water in my chest. 

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Living Water.

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?

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“Jesus said to her, “Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.””

\nJohn 4:13-14 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2022-03-25T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/03/25/the-silence-is-deafening.html", "tags": ["Faith","Comfort","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/03/21/a-soft-day-at-home.html", "title": "A Soft Day at Home", "content_html": "\n
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We had a soft day. Nothing pressing. Nothing urgent. Our day of rest and reflection and silent prayerful meditation. Mr. FixIt made oats for breakfast. He watched a little TV. I knitted. We attempted to nap…albeit unsuccessfully. He went to town to visit with his bowling buddies as they played. He hasn’t bowled on a regular basis since the original lockdown and subsequent strokes. His balance is a little off…his hands not quite as before. But he’s all there and healthy so we’ll take that as a win! 

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I watched the last day of the swim meet. Big knocked several seconds off her personal bests and we were all so proud of her. I’m almost finished knitting the first of another pair of socks. There’s still so much strife in the world and I just didn’t have it in me to write a long post last night. I set it aside and read my book for a while before I went to sleep in the Birdhouse.

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Today is a new day. We’ll head to Charleston to run an errand then back home. The time is passing quickly now and we have things to do before it’s time to travel and mow and garden. I’ll be back tomorrow with a full post. In the meantime, be gentle with each other…and yourselves. Till then, here is a feel-good, Motivation Monday post from 2019 to hold you over.

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\n[www.marshmallowranch.com/motivatio...](https://www.marshmallowranch.com/motivation-monday-kindness-matters/)\n
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?

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“with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.”

\nEphesians 4:2-3 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2022-03-21T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/03/21/a-soft-day-at-home.html", "tags": ["Hope","Comfort","Courage","Choices","Kindness"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/02/28/knitting-as-meditation.html", "title": "Knitting as Meditation", "content_html": "\n
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I have become much more calm since I started knitting again last fall. I find the rhythmic movements of my hands to be hypnotic. I focus on the smallest of things…the way the yarn feels between my thumb and forefinger…the shape of the stitches…the way the yarn makes a pattern out of seeming chaos. I love the almost miraculous way two sticks and a thread can be manipulated into a warm garment. 

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I find knitting is my church these days. It is there where I sit with Jesus and mull over the problems of the world. I pray into my stitches and ask God to bless whoever ends up owning this particular piece. I pray when the person gifted wears the garment, they will feel the prayers I’ve sent up of them and the comfort of God’s love lingering in the fibers. 

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I finished the fingerless gloves for Little yesterday. I got a good start on a hat to match. I’ll send them as an early present since her birthday isn’t for another few months. Big turns eighteen today. She gets money for her birthday. It’s always the right color and size, but I’ll mail her some socks I knitted for her as well.

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Mr. FixIt went to visit his buddies at the bowling alley last night, which left the house quiet for a few hours. I knitted in the stillness, my needles ticking softly together as I worked the pattern. I tried to improvise and add some lacy touches to my work, but after making so many mistakes and ripping it out three times, I decided to just stick to the directions given this time. I think the yarn I am using isn’t quite conducive to the pattern I attempted. 

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Here it is…the end of February! Usually this month crawls like cold molasses, but not this year. Probably because of my surgery. That was quite the diversion. I continue to find my attitude adjustment helping me feel better. There’s nothing I can do about the results of the surgery. But there’s a lot I can do about how I deal with it. Between the medication regimen and God’s grace and encouragement, I’m feeling much better. The problem is still there. It won’t go away without removal of the errant glands. So, a good attitude goes a long way toward a better quality of life.

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I’m continuing to pray for peace. My knitting should positively be glowing at this point.

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?

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So tend to your knitting. You've got your hands full just taking care of your own life before God.

\nRomans 14:12 MSG\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2022-02-28T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/02/28/knitting-as-meditation.html", "tags": ["Comfort","Choices","Crafts"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/02/20/kindness-matters.html", "title": "Kindness Matters", "content_html": "\n
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In August 1988, George Herbert Walker Bush became the Republican Nominee for President of the United States. In his acceptance speech, he coined a phrase that has reverberated down the halls of time ever since. He exhorted the American people to become a kinder, gentler nation. He referenced “1000 points of light” which represented the diversity of this country. 

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I remember this so well. The following year, Hubby #2 and I decided to bring another child into the world and Daughter #2 was born in the Spring of 1990. I was encouraged and uplifted to hear our President encourage acceptance and kindness. Life seemed so simple then. Daughter #1 was preparing to head to college and we were busy raising a baby. 

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I kind of lost myself in the last decade of the 20th Century. My Daughter married a wonderful young man and moved to Long Island. My baby started school. My mental health went down the tubes and my marriage tumbled quickly right behind it. I was just coming back to myself when 9/11 happened. I saw our country come together in our collective grief, and again I felt such hope for humanity. We were really there for each other.

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I knew when I saw the second tower fall…our country would never be the same. I couldn’t have predicted the state we are in today, but Mr. Virgo did. There were many dinner conversations in which he would warn me of what was to come and I refused to believe it. He would gently chide me to stop acting like Pollyanna and look around me. I kept insisting…kindness matters.

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I still believe that. I still believe that those who have damaged our world will be held accountable someday. It may not be in this life…but someday they will be judged by a higher power than any courts of man. I rest on that knowledge. I also know, since the deregulation of the “news”, media peddles whatever sells…truth be damned. While I find this disheartening, I know in the end…this is not my forever home. This is where I came to learn to love like Jesus loves.

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Right now, there is a terrible and reckless chess game playing out in Eastern Europe. Mark my words, there is far more to this situation than is apparent on the surface. I am comforted in a renewed solidarity of NATO nations and pray that we will come out of this without destroying the world. Let’s just say…I never EVER dreamed this is how I’d be spending my golden years.

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The bottom line is this….no matter what is happening “out there”…I will seek peace, justice, kindness, and love. I had a lovely conversation with the most wonderful woman yesterday. Arlene was supposed to be my aunt. She was my Uncle Sonny’s fiancé. They would have been married sometime in the late ‘50s, but he was killed in a plane crash in 1955. Arlene went on and married and had a family in California. Grandma talked about her till the day she died.

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When I was helping my mom with her genealogical research and I discovered the power of the internet, I looked for Arlene and found her. I connected her with my mom and eventually, Arlene and her sister came here to West Virginia. She went to the cemetery and stood in front of my uncle’s grave and, as she wept, she heard a noise and looked up. A solitary military jet flew by overhead. She told me that story yesterday and said, in that moment…she was given closure. 

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Arlene is in her mid ‘80s now. Her husband has been gone for many years. She has some health issues but none terribly serious. She called me yesterday because she felt compelled to tell me how good the Lord is to us….even in the midst of uncertainty. Because, the Bible tells us we will have tribulations in this world. But Jesus has overcome the world. And He lives within me. The same power that created the world lives in me…knows me…loves ME. He has overcome the world. 

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I peeked at the end of this story. I know how it’s going to go. And I know, the very best thing I can do is share that love with you…share that kindness….offer you hope and peace in knowing we are never, ever alone. No matter how awful the news is. No matter how many scary stories are out there. Now matter how ugly things appear.

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If we can be anything in this world…we can be kind. Because…..kindness matters. 

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?

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“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”

\nEphesians 4:32 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2022-02-20T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/02/20/kindness-matters.html", "tags": ["Faith","Comfort","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/02/19/spring-rains-and-snow-flurries.html", "title": "Spring Rains and Snow Flurries", "content_html": "\n
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We received nearly two inches of rain on Friday, then we woke up yesterday with snow flurries. It was cold and gray and pretty dismal. I was looking forward to a day at home, knitting and cooking a little, but our West Virginia Daughter called to say the bad winds had knocked a big limb out of the tree in the front yard. It was wedged right between the front steps and the front gate and they were kind of stuck. So, we packed up the chainsaw and went to town to help them clear the yard. 

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The other night I was sitting in the camper knitting and rocking in the new outdoor rocking chair we bought at Sam’s when there was a loud POP and the seat collapsed. Now, I’ve gained some weight, but not THAT kind of weight. Since we were going to town, I packed the chairs in the truck and we took them back for a refund. It’s really frustrating when shoddy workmanship causes something to break after using it twice. Especially when you pay over $50 for it!

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We finally got back home by late afternoon. I fixed pork roast with sauerkraut and mashed potatoes. Oh, my….it was SO good. Then I settled in to knit. I’ve always been a bit of a perfectionist. In the past, I would rip out several rows if my stitch count was off…even by just a stitch or two. With this pattern, and this yarn, I’ve learned you can fudge a little by adding a stitch at each end of a row, or knitting two together (depending on if you have too many or two few stitches.) Things don’t have to be absolutely perfect every single time, right?

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I’m at the point where I feel the seasons changing around me and my mind is telling me to gear up and get things done around here. I can’t just sit and knit every day. Spring is coming before too long and I’m itching to get to work on some projects that are long overdue. First things first, I’m saying goodbye to the Christmas tree today. I’ve really enjoyed the twinkle of the lights, and now it’s time for the house to be put back in order. I can live in chaos for a certain amount of time, then I have to get crackin’!

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Break time’s over!

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❤️

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“Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.”

\nPsalm 51:10 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2022-02-19T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/02/19/spring-rains-and-snow-flurries.html", "tags": ["Comfort","Change","Farm Life","Marriage","Control"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/02/16/the-twenty-year-plan.html", "title": "The Twenty Year Plan", "content_html": "\n
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Ever since I found out the latest surgery to find the errant parathyroid glands in my neck was unsuccessful, I’ve felt like I’ve been floating around in a rowboat without any oars. Just bobbing along…not knowing what to do, or even if there is anything TO do. I prayed a lot about it over the weekend. I handed it to God and I told him I trusted He would help me to not only survive this disappointment, but to thrive in the process.

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I trust that God uses all things for His glory. I believe He has a plan for us to prosper and not to harm us…a plan that gives us hope and a future. Sometimes God whispers to us and guides us gently. Other times, He hits us up the side of the head or brings someone with a megaphone so we “get it”. That’s what He did when answering my weekend prayers.

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I have a dear friend who is like a sister to me. I never had a biological sister, but “Hattie” is as close to me as any blood relative. We usually check in with each other several times a week. She texted me Monday to see how I was feeling after my surgery. I told her I was just feeling rudderless…like I don’t know what direction to turn. I told her about my disappointment that the surgery failed to “cure” me after I had such high hopes that it would.

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We had a long heart-to-heart talk…the kind sisters and life-long friends have. She had a brilliant piece of advice. I’m going to share it with you here in her own words.

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“I talk to my docs and my dentist about the 20 year plan. I mean, even if I am blessed enough to live to be 90, I will have only about 20 years left to worry with something. So, I tell them to talk in those terms. I don’t need a 55-year plan (which is the number I use because most of my medical peeps are in their 30’s. Is this a 20-year problem or a 55-year problem?”

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I had to sit with that for a while and really consider her wise words. I’m nearly 69 years old…not OLD, but certainly getting in the general neighborhood. I don’t have 50+ years to worry about stuff. Ok, this disease can leach calcium from my bones and make them more brittle. That’s certainly important…but it’s not life threatening. The rest of the side effects from hyperparathyroidism are mainly quality of life issues…pain, hair loss, acid reflux. Heck, none of us are going to escape this life without some ramifications of age. Let’s weigh the checks and balances.

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Yes, it would have been wonderful if this surgeon could have found my errant parathyroid glands and cured me. But every time you cut into the neck, you are risking very serious complications…namely paralyzing the vocal cords. Paralyze one side and you are left with a defect in you voice…anything from hoarseness to a whisper. Paralyze BOTH vocal cords and you cannot swallow and you’ll need a permanent tracheostomy. Neither of those things sound like something I’m willing to mess with. 

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My surgeon even considered removing my thyroid completely in an effort to cure me, but there were reasons he decided not to. First, I would have had to take thyroid medication for the rest of my life. Second, the vocal cord nerves were firmly stuck to my thyroid. Too risky to remove. He did a very careful search for those glands, clearing out scar tissue and fatty tissue, and he just couldn’t find them.

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So, I’ve elected the 20-year plan. We’ll check my Vitamin D. Very low Vitamin D can elevate the parathyroid hormones and raise the calcium. We’ll try boosting my Vitamin D level in an attempt to bring the other numbers down. I’ll practice great care to keep from falling and breaking anything. I’ve started taking Celebrex and a muscle relaxant and that has done a good job keeping my pain level manageable. And, so what if my hair falls out more than I’d like? I’m not doing a photo shoot for Vogue anytime soon. 

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I can’t tell you how much this shift in my mindset has changed how I’m feeling about this whole situation. And isn’t that an answer to prayer? I feel like the weight of the world has been lifted from my shoulders. Hopefully I have 20 good years to look forward to. I’ll be darned if I’m going to look at them as a loss before I’ve even had a change to live them! It’s time to get off the pity train now and get out there and live this precious life I’ve been given. Who’s with me???

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❤️

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“Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” So we can confidently say, “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?””

\nHebrews 13:5-6 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2022-02-16T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/02/16/the-twenty-year-plan.html", "tags": ["Faith","Health","Comfort","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/02/03/lets-dance.html", "title": "Let’s Dance!", "content_html": "\n
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Put on your red shoes and dance the blues! I love to dance and my favorite place to dance is at a concert when everyone else is standing up and dancing, too. Gosh, it’s been a long time since I’ve danced to live music. Lately, I been feeling the sting of these last couple of years. The isolation of the pandemic and not getting to just do what I want, when I want is making me cranky and restless. I’m getting a HUGE case of 24 month cabin fever!

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I haven’t stayed inside and away from everyone for the last 24 months. I’ve traveled…safely. I’ve camped…safely. I’ve had company over…safely. Don’t get me wrong…I’m all about safety. But I’m probably one of the most spontaneous people you’re likely to meet. Well, I used to be…BC. Before Covid. I love to throw some things in a bag and hit the road at a moment’s notice. I haven’t done that for a long, long time.

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When we watched the news on Tuesday night, I turned to my sweetie and said, “We need to go to Columbus tomorrow.” Now, I may be a spontaneous person, but my sweetheart is…not so much. He likes to know what’s coming and he isn’t a big fan of change. That being said, he is my number one fan and he knew there had to be a perfectly reasonable explanation for this sudden twist in the plot. 

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It was more than just the ice and snow coming. I had one of my “bad nights” Tuesday night. I was filled with anxiety and I couldn’t turn off my brain till finally I gave up at 5:30 in the morning. I fell into a deep sleep for four hours and when I woke up, I started throwing things in the truck so we could get the heck out of Dodge.

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I don’t have “bad nights” nearly as often as I used to. They were a daily occurrence in the first couple of years after Mr. Virgo died. I tried every tool in my tool box. I saw that there was a big snowstorm out in Denver and I knew my youngest was going to be driving in that to work. Throw it to God. What happens if we get all the way up there and they cancel my surgery because of the weather? Throw it to God. Ugh…I remember how I felt after that surgery last year. I hate to have to go through that again. Throw it to God.

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I was wadding up thoughts faster than a sixth grade boy making spitballs. I shot them over to Jesus as fast as he could catch them. And you know what? He just kept catching them! He smiled and said, “I can do this all night, kiddo. How’s about you get some sleep and let me take care of the tough stuff for a while? Whadya say?’

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That was at about 5:30am. I smiled back and whispered, “You’re on!” 

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I turned over, pulled the covers up to my chin, released my tongue from the roof of my mouth where I firmly press it when I’m anxious, and repeated my mantra. Don’t think…don’t think…don’t think. You can’t think if you’re busy thinking, “Don’t think.”

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So, here we are in a beautiful hotel suite with huge windows overlooking the river. We made a run to the local Kroger store and have enough good food and snacks to tide us over till we head home a day or two after the surgery. I’m happily knitting on my sweater. Mr. FixIt is glad to see me smiling and less tense. Everything is going to work out great. And I’m really looking forward to feeling better and more like my old self. Then I can get back out there and dance!

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❄️❤️❄️

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“Let them praise his name with dancing, making melody to him with tambourine and lyre!”

\nPsalm 149:3 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2022-02-03T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/02/03/lets-dance.html", "tags": ["Comfort","Be Joyful!","Anxiety"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/02/01/you-can-see-a-birds.html", "title": "You Can See a Bird’s Song", "content_html": "\n
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Mr. FixIt and I have lazy mornings in the winter. We don’t have to hurry outside to mow or get the outdoor work done before the heat of the day. One or the other of us wakes up, and our movements awakens the other. We stretch and say our good mornings. We ask each other “How did you sleep?” Then we check to see what the temperature is outside. What is the day going to look like? Do we have anything on our schedule? What’s new in the world? We catch up on our social media and the news. By that time, he’s awake enough to get up and get the tea kettle on. Then he moseys out to let Pumpkin out of the building so she can begin her busy day of grand adventures around our little homestead.

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I usually stay in bed for a little while longer. I used to try to read my bible studies first before I read anything else. But my aging brain has a tendency to focus on the last thing I read and I don’t want that to be the news. So, I read my morning devotionals and make my way to the kitchen for a cup of tea.

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However, yesterday morning as I was getting out of bed, I heard a bird I couldn’t identify. I opened the Merlin app on my phone and went to the window to see if I could capture this new song. Even though I crept quietly to the window, the bird must have seen me through the window or heard me somehow, because that sweet song stopped. I carefully laid the phone on the windowsill and went on in the bathroom for my morning ablutions. 

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When I came back out and picked up my phone, there were two songs identified. The American Crow and the Greater White Fronted Snow Goose. That’s odd. From the red dot after the bird identification, this bird should not be seen at all in our neck of the woods. And I don’t mean an errant neighbor either. This bird is often seen in South Dakota. So, either we had a trespasser, or more likely a misidentification. 

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The Merlin app has a really cool feature. When it identifies a bird, you can click on it and listen to the sound it recorded and identified. I picked up my phone and clicked on the bird and heard….ummmmmmm….a recording of my “morning ablutions”! Gasp! Well, we’ll just erase that particular recording ‘cause nobody has to hear THAT! lol

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These really cold days have had birds flocking to our feeders. The beautiful flashes of color zooming in and out have been wonderful to watch. Like the picture I posted above, if the temperature and light are just right, you can see a bird’s breath when they sing their beautiful songs. I’ve never been able to capture the photo myself. There are often moments you can only relive in your memory because a camera wasn’t handy or you were quick enough on the draw.

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This reminds me that every day, all over the world, beautiful things are happening in every moment but we just aren’t there to see them. That doesn’t make them less beautiful. But it should serve as a reminder to always look up when we are out in nature. God puts on a show every single day if we just slow down and look.

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May you all take moments to feel peaceful and centered and look for the beauty of today.

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Happy February!

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❄️❤️❄️

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“Beside them the birds of the heavens dwell; they sing among the branches.”

\nPsalm 104:12 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2022-02-01T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/02/01/you-can-see-a-birds.html", "tags": ["Gratitude","Comfort","Farm Life"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/01/25/happy-winter-birds.html", "title": "Happy Winter Birds!", "content_html": "\n
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Being one who doesn’t care for winter, I have to look hard to find the beauty. When you find the beauty, you find the good. And when you find the GOOD, you find GOD! (Thanks for the reminder, Sue!) All around us, the world is frosted and sparkly.  And even if it’s wet and grey, the stark contrasts reflect the rest we find in this season. The trees rest. The animals rest. Everything seems to rest…save for the birds.

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The birds are busy from sunup to sundown…searching for food. They seem to play a never ending game of hide and seek among the naked branches of our forsythia and flowering quince. The swoop in to rest on the fence line or rummage around on the ground for the leavings tossed aside by the more persnickety titmice and blue jays. I love the brilliant flashes of crimson when the cardinals flit back and forth from the protection of the trees to the more open and vulnerable landings on the feeders.

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Mr. FixIt and I love the birds. He added two more feeders this winter so we can attract even more. He is diligent about filling them. We especially love the one in the picture window in our family room. It is clear plexiglass and attaches to the window with suction cups. It allows us to stand very still and watch the birds up close. When we are sitting in our recliners, we can hear them fly in and peck, peck, peck on the bottom. It makes us smile.

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Birds offer bright spots of joy in the dark, dismal days of winter. And they remind us not to be anxious about anything. The birds don’t fret about anything. Their every need is fulfilled by their Creator. (Supplemented by the kindness and generosity of His children.) Birds remind us that God will take care us our needs, as well. There’s no need to fret about what we will eat or what we will wear. The Bible reminds us that worry won’t add one hour to our lives.

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My new yarn and one of the knitting needles I will need for my sweater arrived yesterday. The hardest thing I will have to do this week is to finish knitting the second sock of this pair instead of setting it aside and starting on the sweater. It takes discipline, let me tell you. Because my little Gemini self would be tickled pink picking up the new project. Then who knows when…or IF…I would ever get back to the socks.

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This is a new behavior for me and it has become a focus for me this year. When I finish the sock, I’ll lay out all the things I’ve knitted since the first of December (minus those things I gave as Christmas gifts.) I have friends who take pictures of all their projects, who they made them for, the name of the pattern and what materials they used, when they started it and when they finished. I have the first step down pat. I take the pictures.

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We do have to run to town today. As I am writing this, it is misty raining after snowing all afternoon. Our appointment isn’t until 11:00 so I’m hoping the roads will just be wet by that time. If not, we may have to reschedule for another day. I really don’t like driving this road when it’s slick out. It would be one thing if I had studded snow tires on my truck, but that is not the case here. I used to have them every year in Colorado but here? They laugh at you because it doesn’t snow that much. Of course, the studded snow tires don’t help at all on ice and we get more of that here than snow packed roads.

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I’ll need to make a batch of broccoli cheese soup this afternoon to warm us up after venturing out. What are some of your favorite comfort foods for cold and snowy days?

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❄️?❄️

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“The stormy wind comes from its chamber, and the driving winds bring the cold. God’s breath sends the ice, freezing wide expanses of water.”

\nJob 37:9-10 NLT\n
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The temps are taking a nosedive in the coming days and we commented yesterday how thrilled we are that we don’t have to go out in it. We awoke yesterday morning to the news that our fourth great-grandchild was born in the wee small hours. Another healthy baby…thank you, God! That makes four little ones now. It’s really hard not getting together like we did pre-pandemic. Some of the family vaccinates…some don’t. We don’t want anyone to feel uncomfortable so we will hold off our visits till spring when we can all sit outside. 

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When we saw the weather forecast yesterday, Mr. FixIt asked if we had any appointments coming up or do we have a stretch of time to stay in. I was thrilled to see we don’t have anything till Tuesday. More knitting time! When I was finishing the striped socks last week, I thought I was going to run out of wool. I ordered an extra skein, then ended up not using it. Since you only get one sock per skein out of this particular yarn, I went ahead and ordered a second one. Since I finished the “seascape” socks Tuesday night, I started a new pair with the striped yarn yesterday morning. It knits up much faster than the fingering yarn I just finished.

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I’m hoping to bake some sourdough bread this weekend. I haven’t made any since I taught Little how to bake it last summer. I bought yet another new sourdough starter last week. I’m hoping I can keep this one alive better than I did the last one. I threw myself into baking the first year of the coronavirus. I also managed to pack on about twenty pounds. I have finally started losing that, so I need to be careful and not bake or eat out of boredom. I have a tub of chocolate chip cookie dough in the fridge. I’ve discovered if I just bake four cookies and put the tub away, we don’t keep sneaking into the kitchen to mindlessly grab more.

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I am finding it harder to get out and get some fresh air when it’s this cold. I need to make a more concerted effort to walk the perimeter of our property…at least a few times a week. On the plus side, I’m not feeling the winter blahs as much this years as I have in years past. We are trying to put joyful things in front of us to look forward to. We have a trip to Columbus next week for a doctor’s appointment, which in and of itself is not joyful. However, Mr. FixIt’s 70th Birthday is coming up the following week so we will stay overnight to celebrate in some way.

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April is our trip to the beach. And May sees us heading to Colorado for Big’s graduation from high school, then rushing back here for our youngest FixIt grandchild’s graduation. So, I either need to have my surgery in February or March…or wait till after the graduations are over. We’ll just have to see what they can do.

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What are you doing to help pass the time this winter? Are you working on projects or reading good books? Show us what you’ve got by sharing photos of your projects in the comments.

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❄️?❄️

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“Commit your actions to the Lord, and your plans will succeed.”

\nProverbs 16:3 NLT\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2022-01-21T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/01/21/the-arctic-blast-is-coming.html", "tags": ["Family","Comfort","Crafts"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/01/20/another-project-completed.html", "title": "Another Project Completed", "content_html": "\n
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I finished the pretty “seascape” socks last night. I didn’t have a “day of knitting” like I have recently, but I did take my knitting with me to our doctor’s appointments yesterday. What is it with being this age and doctors want to see you every three months??? Hokey Smokes…it feels like we are there ALL the time. As soon as this parathyroid thing is fixed, I do not plan to be going to the doctor nearly as much as we have been. If we could have one week where we have all our appointments, then in three months do it again, that would be more convenient. But that’s not the way it works out, is it?

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We had a lovely day yesterday, in spite of the trip to the doctor. The sun was out and it was in the mid-forties. The snow was melting. We ran our errands and by the time we headed home, the clouds were getting dark and the sky was threatening rain. It didn’t hit till near dark and our lowest temperature of the season was anticipated for overnight. Rain + Overnight Lows = more snow for our area this morning. Would you believe West Virginia’s schools were closed again yesterday??? Now, with this new little bit of snow, I’ll bet dollars to donuts they’ll cancel again today! I just don’t get it. We never had days off like that and we had real snow back then. 

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I’ll stop short of saying we walked five miles to school carrying our lunch…uphill…both ways. But I will say, this was back when girls weren’t allowed to wear pants to school and it got pretty darned cold standing at the bus stop in the morning. We didn’t have anything closely resembling the kind of winter gear that’s available these days. No real snow boots…at least, WE didn’t. We were lucky to have a wool hand-me-down coat and hat. Mom wouldn’t even let me wear pants under my dress just till I got to school and then take them off when I got there. It was ridiculous. 

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We took a ride up to my bonus son’s house yesterday where he and one of the grands were out building a snowman….errrr, snow WOMAN. Complete with makeup. I remember playing in the snow with my friends and then with my kids when they got big enough. I don’t really mind snow so much. I’m just much happier when we don’t have to go anywhere in it.

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This is the fifth winter Mr. FixIt and I have been together. The first year or two, we butted heads over the thermostat. He was used to cranking that puppy up and sleeping in a very warm room because he likes a light cover. I, on the other hand, was quite used to a very cold room with a pile of warm blankets. Slowly over the years, we have adjusted and now the main house stays at 63 all winter and the family room stays toasty warm when we are sitting in there due to the gas stove.

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The bedroom has still been a bit of a sticky wicket. That’s because I like the window to be cracked open a little…no matter what the temperature is outside. I like fresh air. And a cool room actually keeps you healthier. The problem comes when Mr. FixIt walks in from that very warm family room with gas stove and his comforter and his heating pad and walks into the bedroom. I have pretty much solved that with an electric blanket with dual controls. My side is on low just long enough to take the chill off the sheets. His side is on three till he acclimates to the room temp then it’s on low all night.

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I justify this by telling him the story of “Mr. Virgo and the Meat Locker.” Mr. Virgo didn’t like a cool room. He liked a frigid room. He ran the window air conditioner and the floor fan 365 nights a year. It could be -27 outside, and that air conditioner was blowing full blast. That is when I discovered the joys of an electric blanket…and wearing long johns to bed. My side of the blanket varied between 6 or 7 in the summer to HI in the winter. I explained sweetly to my Mr. FixIt that if I could survive that, I’m sure he can survive the 7.5 seconds it takes to climb in a pre-warmed bed.

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All marriages are a give and take proposition. Truly, my Mr. FixIt is a real sport and I’m blessed beyond measure to have him in my life. I try to make up for the room temperature debate in other ways like…bringing him a couple warm chocolate chip cookies fresh from the oven with a kiss on top of his sweet head. The quickest way to a man’s heart is warm chocolate chip cookies, right?

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❄️?❄️

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“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.”

\nRomans 8:28 NLT\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2022-01-20T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/01/20/another-project-completed.html", "tags": ["Gratitude","Comfort","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/01/18/a-beautiful-day-in-the.html", "title": "A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood", "content_html": "\n
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As it turned out, we got quite a bit more snow that I thought we would, given the meager amount when I went to bed Sunday night. The sun was shining for a while in the morning and it was pristine. Mr. FixIt waited for a while before he went out to blow the snow off the sidewalks. Our snowblower is battery powered and the snow was deep and pretty dense. He had to take it in two sessions to give the battery a chance to recharge.

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It never got over freezing yesterday. I was so glad we had nowhere to go. I put a pork roast in the crockpot in the morning and worked on the socks I’m knitting. When my sweetie came back in from his second trip out in the snow, I warmed his tummy with a plate of roast pork, sauerkraut, and fried potatoes. Comfort food is so good on days like this.

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I’ve been thinking of my mom a lot the last couple of days. We are coming up to the eighteenth anniversary of her death soon. I was trying to remember what she would have served us when we came in from playing in the snow. She wasn’t much of a cook, but she made the BEST potato soup I’ve ever had. I’ve tried so many times to recreate it with only nominal success. 

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I don’t think anything you make in your adult life will stand up to comparison with something your mom or grandma cooked for you when you were a child. Even a grilled cheese and tomato soup from a can tasted better when Mom made it. There was such a huge dollop of love in everything they prepared for us in the kitchens of our youth.

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When Grandma made pies, she always took the extra crust, sprinkled it with salt, and baked it. I swear, I could take a whole recipe of pie crust and bake it that way and be hard pressed to not eat the whole thing. I’ve never been terribly taken with the filling in pies anyway. Just give me the crust with salt…or maybe with a little strawberry jam or apple butter on it…and I’m a happy camper.

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I will forever miss my mom. 

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\"Mom\"
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Her cool hand on my forehead when I was sick. Her warm hugs that comforted me when I cried. The way she stroked my head with her soft fingers when she was putting me to sleep. Humming “Bye oh, Bye oh” when she rocked me. She smelled like powder and love. Her full head of wavy black hair was accentuated by the ruby red lipstick she wore. 

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I could make her laugh till she flew into a coughing fit. She didn’t have an easy life with my dad, so I lived to make her laugh and forget her troubles…if even for just a little while. I wish I would have been kinder…more generous…more available to her in her later years. I lived in Colorado for forty years and came home every summer for at least two weeks, sometimes longer. She came to visit me a few times. 

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I never understood her insistence that she live here in West Virginia. Till now. And here I am… 1400 miles away from my kids and grandkids. I’m sure they don’t understand my insistence that I live here, either. I spent my entire adult life wishing I lived “back home”. Oh, what I wouldn’t give to have Colorado and West Virginia closer to each other. I understand my mom a lot more now than I did at any other time in my life.

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We have no place else to go today and I’ll be finished with this pair of socks in another day or so. We aren’t expecting any more snow in the next couple of days. As I expected, school was cancelled here today…because it snowed yesterday…so the kids get a four day weekend. Maybe their mamas will fill their little tummies with a nice bowl of potato soup when they come in from sledding.

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That would be nice.

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❄️?❄️

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“fire and hail, snow and clouds, wind and weather that obey him,”

\nPsalms 148:8 NLT\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2022-01-18T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/01/18/a-beautiful-day-in-the.html", "tags": ["Family","Comfort","Farm Life","Cooking"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/01/17/wheres-the-storm.html", "title": "Where’s the Storm?", "content_html": "\n
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They've been talking all week about this MASSIVE storm that was supposed to hit us yesterday and today…like, 5-8” of snow. Now, I’m writing this at 9:00 on Sunday night, and so far the sidewalks have just enough snow to make them white. Unless a lot more comes in overnight, we’ll see a whole different scenario that what was predicted.

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I feel sorry for weather forecasters. They can study every model, calculate every possibility, compare and scan and look at all the gauges and computer printouts and radar and still be wrong, wrong, wrong. Perhaps they need a weather rock. If it’s wet, it’s raining. If it’s white, it’s snowing. If it’s moving, it’s windy. We are often just as far ahead if we stick our head out the window and look. Yet, you can get an app on your phone that sends you a message to say it’s going to start raining in seven minutes. Often, it’s right. Go figure.

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We changed our doctor’s appointments from today to Wednesday in anticipation of this latest round of dire predictions. Facebook is full of stories of empty shelves at Walmart. Did they wait too long to go? Or were the people ahead of them greedy and buy ALL the things…just because they were there? My Denver family have seen shortages in the stores secondary to the strike at King Soopers. In all this time of “supply chain issues”, I have yet to see it reflected in our local stores unless they’re predicting snow. Then, everybody and their brother runs out to get “French Toast”…eggs, milk, and bread. Oh, and let’s fill a whole cart…you know, just in case we can’t get out till the spring thaw.

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These people would never make it in the Colorado Rockies in the winter. I know they haven’t had big snows since they’ve been in the grips of this drought and if you waited till the threat of snow was over, you’d only get out in July and August. I talked to my sister-in-law in Salt Lake City last night. We discussed the difference between winter driving here vs. the Rockies. First, the feel of the snow under your tires is different. Here, the roads feel greasy when there’s snow on them. Colorado snow is a lot dryer and compacts differently. Also, it doesn’t snow nearly as often here in West Virginia…no one uses studded snow tires while they’re de rigueur in Colorado.

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I put a crockpot of chili on late Saturday night and we had a big bowl while we watched football yesterday. I’m making quicker progress on the second sock and shopping online for yarn to make a sweater next. My brother has managed to dodge any real illness with his case of Covid…just one day of head congestion. He was fully vaccinated and boosted…on time. Daughter #2 and her wife weren’t as lucky. She hasn’t had fevers for a few days, but still feels pretty darned sick, bless her heart.

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We have no place to go till Wednesday, so it’s more knitting for me!

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?

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“The stormy wind comes from its chamber, and the driving winds bring the cold. God’s breath sends the ice, freezing wide expanses of water.”

\nJob 37:9-10 NLT\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2022-01-17T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/01/17/wheres-the-storm.html", "tags": ["Comfort","Farm Life","Home"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/01/04/making-progress-on-knitting-and.html", "title": "Making Progress on Knitting and Recovery", "content_html": "\n
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Mr. FixIt does odd jobs for friends and family from time to time. Yesterday, one of his friends needed a new medicine cabinet installed in his bathroom. It’s an old house and anyone who has worked on old houses can tell you…there are seldom square corners and measurements are somewhat haphazard. Thus was the case on what has turned into a two day job when the new cabinet wouldn’t fit into the old hole. He’ll go back today with the proper tools and make the hole bigger to accommodate the new cabinet.

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Having the house to myself yesterday afternoon was rather lovely. The sun was shining and the temperature didn’t get much over freezing. It was the perfect day to do two things. Try on the new cashmere sweater my sweetheart bought me for Christmas…and sit in my recliner and knit. The sweater is a lovely pink…just the perfect shade that you find inside a conch shell. Slightly peachy…so pretty and oh so soft. It feels warm without being bulky and it’s not at all itchy. And it fit perfectly. The sleeves slightly balloon out above snug cuffs and there is a slight stripe created by a K10P2 pattern. Perfect!

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The socks are moving along nicely. I created the cup of the heel last night before I put it away to write this. I love the sock yarns that look variegated until you knit them, then it’s apparent the dye was placed strategically to create stripes and patterns in the stitching. This particular sock is called Vanilla, because there’s nothing fancy about it. There is a twenty row K1P1 rib stitch cuff, then everything from there down is essentially a stockinette stitch. 

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I’m really glad there is a YouTube tutorial for every step of this simple sock design because I’m not only learning how to knit in the round on a single 32” circular needle…I’m also learning a new way to turn a heel and join it. I’m pretty much a self taught knitter, so I am not terribly familiar with all the terms and abbreviations that are in a written pattern. I do have the written pattern for this sock, but I need the tutorial…at least the first time.

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My friend Marion’s mom was my seventh grade science teacher. She stood at the front of the class knitting sweaters and never once looked down at her work while she gave lectures. It was phenomenal. I watched her knitting intently because I’d never seen it before. No one in my family knitted, although I did find an old warped pair of knitting needles in my grandma’s cedar chest around the same time I was in Mrs. Corbin’s class. I scrounged up some yellow yarn and tried my hand at knitting. My tension was so tight, I could barely force the needle into the stitches and there were holes in my work. I think I got something that looked vaguely like a potholder and called it good. I never tried to knit again until sometime in the ‘90s. I could crochet with the best of them, but knitting eluded me for the longest time.

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I didn’t understand about the different kinds of yarn. I spent months knitting a sweater on needles that were too big and used acrylic yarn that pilled terribly. It was a huge waste of time as far as a sweater goes, but it was a learning experience. Somewhere along the line, I learned how to knit dishcloths and that gave me the confidence to try more difficult things. I made scarves and hats. Then, when Daughter #1 told me she was expecting Big, I was determined to knit her a baby dress. 

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Being the pragmatist, I found a cute pattern that used brightly colored yarns in nothing but a stockinette stitch. The design was achieved by changing colors. It was fun to see it slowly take shape…the operative word here is “slowly”. I knew I would never get a tiny dress done before the baby came because I was learning as I went. So, I chose a Size 2T and believe it or not…finished the week before Big’s second birthday! Poor Little…she never got the kinds of things Big got because, by that time, I was working sixty hours a week. I’ve tried to make it up to her in other ways.

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We have absolutely NOTHING planned this week…no doctor’s appointments. I have no place to be but home. It’s supposed to snow Thursday night. I have a couple of late Christmas presents to get to the Post Office today, then I’m free to knit to my heart’s content. This is the time of year God sets aside for us to recover and rest from the labors of the land and I have every intention of taking advantage of it!

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?

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12 So tend to your knitting. You've got your hands full just taking care of your own life before God. 13 Forget about deciding what's right for each other. Here's what you need to be concerned about: that you don't get in the way of someone else, making life more difficult than it already is.

\nRomans 14:12-13 MSG\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2022-01-04T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/01/04/making-progress-on-knitting-and.html", "tags": ["Comfort","Farm Life","Healing"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/12/27/we-hit-it-out-of.html", "title": "We Hit it Out of the Park!", "content_html": "\n
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We’ve had to divide up the family parties since covid. One faction believes in vaccines and the other does not. It’s not a problem in the summer so much because we can gather outside, but during the winter when we can’t do that, we have to take everyone’s choices into consideration and make the necessary adjustments to holiday festivities.

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My bonus son and his family came yesterday for lunch and to exchange gifts. When I joined the family, I introduced a Colorado tradition of chili and homemade cinnamon rolls. I’ve been baking cinnamon rolls for decades. As a matter of fact, I used to supply one of the local coffee houses in Glenwood Springs with my cinnamon rolls once a week. They were always a big hit and people would call ahead to reserve them. Well, I thought they were good, but they couldn’t hold a candle to the new recipe I tried yesterday!

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The 2021 Recipe of the Year for King Arthur Flour is Perfectly Pillowy Cinnamon Rolls. OMGosh! These things are HEAVEN ON A PLATE! They are light and pillowy soft thanks to an extra step at the beginning of the recipe where you make a Tangzhong…a cooked paste of flour and milk to which you add the wet, then dry ingredients. The recipe sounds complicated, but it is surprisingly easy to make. You know how wonderful Cinnamon Rolls taste when they’re fresh from the oven…but within a very short while, they get hard and dry? Well…these will last up to a week (although I cannot imagine them making it that long the way we eat them!) They are SO good…I will never make a different recipe when I want this particular yummy goodness. They were a major hit…so much so that the youngest grandchild wants to come out this week and learn how to make them!

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We exchanged gifts and had a wonderful visit. I felt much better yesterday and having family around did me a world of good. I didn’t get to see all the family in person, however we at least got to talk with all of them either over the phone or on video chat. It turned out to be a Merry Christmas after all! Inviting Jesus into every circumstance has really helped me feel so much better. That being said, I’m still not terribly excited about the upcoming procedure this week, but I know He’ll be there with me so I have nothing to fear.

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❄️

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“Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me.”

\nRevelation 3:20 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2021-12-27T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/12/27/we-hit-it-out-of.html", "tags": ["Health","Comfort","Holiday","Farm Life","Baking","Home"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/12/26/a-self-care-christmas.html", "title": "A Self Care Christmas", "content_html": "\n
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I did what I promised myself I would do yesterday. I got up and fixed breakfast. We opened our little gifts to each other. I got Mr. FixIt a reaching tool with a magnet and a light on one end so he can pick things up off the ground when he’s working. I also got him a movie that he mentioned he liked…”Secondhand Lions”. He bought me a sturdy camping table and a beautiful pale pink cashmere sweater. I think he spoiled me. We both loved our gifts. We have to count the new camper, the cell phones, and a new set of pots and pans that were purchased in the months leading up to the holidays. That’s why we went slim on the gifting.

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I took a nap in the afternoon and then started a big batch of chili in the slow cooker. We picked up around the house and vacuumed. I wrapped presents. And the only thing I’ll have to do this morning is make the cinnamon rolls for our Christmas gathering with some of my bonus family this afternoon. 

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I went ahead and bought some more of that cotton yarn I like for knitting dishcloths. I like to sit and knit something mindless that I don’t have to count stitches or rows or try to keep on a pattern. I have plenty of sock yarn but that’s not what I’m into right now. I need something easy that reduces stress, not add to it. I received a beautiful gift on Friday from one of my dearest friends. We camp together and I am forever borrowing knitting needles to work on something different at the campground. So, for Christmas, she sent me a whole set of circular needles and two skeins of sock yarn tucked in a gift sack she made herself. She is amazing. She has ten kids and umpteen grandkids and renovates houses and helps with the family and does stuff for everyone. She’s one of the most selfless people I know. And she took the time to make the gift sack. I love her dearly.

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I started out the day feeling poorly again, but by the afternoon, I was fine again. I’d swear, if I didn’t know better, I’d think I was pregnant! Thank you God that those days are long behind me. Maybe it’s a bug that’s been going around. Maybe it’s stress. I’m reading a couple of wonderful devotionals that are really helping. They’re called “10 Days of Defeating Anxiety” and “Grace? What’s That?: Devotions from Time of Grace. They remind me to take every thought captive and hand them to God. He loves me unconditionally, no matter what I’ve done or how many times I make mistakes. I can rest in that. I don’t have to control everything because I can’t. I don’t have to worry about tomorrow because there’s enough to worry about today.

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I’ve been fixating on a couple of events that are coming up. Mr. FixIt has an appointment with an eye specialist. I’m sure he’s fine and anything that needs to be done will be a simple fix. But…he’s my boo and I worry. Then Thursday I have that procedure where they do venous sampling to try to locate these lost parathyroid glands. It’s done like a cardiac cath where they run a wire up into the veins in my neck and chest and take blood samples in various areas. Then they’ll test them for PTH and hopefully they can find the drainage from the offending gland so we can locate it and get it out of there. The procedure takes about four hours, laying on your back on an x-ray table. And, I’ll be mostly awake so I can follow directions. 

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I’m trying not to let it freak me out, but medical things trigger my PTSD. I know this is a lot of personal information I share here. But, I also know, a lot of other people have these same feelings and they have no one to tell them they aren’t alone. Many times you all have said I speak the things you are thinking but don’t have the words for. It’s a really vulnerable thing to share like I do. And sometimes it’s scary. I just know that God gave me this ministry for a reason and that’s to inform, comfort, enlighten, and share my experiences as they have affected me so you know you aren’t weird for thinking or feeling this or that.

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I know the ride has been a little bumpy the last couple of weeks. Thanks for hanging in there with me. You have no idea what a comfort you all are to me. Because, I learn I’M not alone either. I hope you had as good a Christmas as you could have. I know there are some who are hurting this year and it was the worst ever. Please know my heart is with you.

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❄️

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““Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.”

\nMatthew 6:34 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2021-12-26T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/12/26/a-self-care-christmas.html", "tags": ["Health","Comfort","Choices","Crafts"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/12/25/joy-to-the-world.html", "title": "Joy to the World!", "content_html": "\n
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My day didn’t start out as I’d hoped for Christmas Eve. I didn’t sleep well and ended up moving to the guest room so I didn’t keep Mr. FixIt awake all night, too. No need for both of us to be sleep deprived. I laid there awake for hours and…when I’m awake, the motor’s running. My brain, to be exact. When I finally would drift off to sleep, I had nightmares that superimposed Mr. Virgo’s death and Mr. FixIt. I awoke in a sweat each time only to drift off again and take up where I left off. I finally woke up for good around 10:00 and felt lousy. The last thing I wanted to do was cook scallops and lamb chops. I asked my sweetheart if he would mind holding off the celebratory Christmas Dinner till tomorrow. My husband, being the most wonderful man on the planet, rolled with the punches and was fine with that. He is so flexible and patient with me. This is the nature of PTSD and grief. Some days are good…some aren’t. Yesterday didn’t start out good.

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However…I was bound and determined I was going to lift up out of that blue funk and still enjoy the day, even if it entailed a lot of self care. I looked at the Weather App and it was closing in on 60 degrees by 1:00 here in our little neck of the woods. West Virginia had a rare White Christmas last year. So, of course…it will be springlike with rain this year! I walked into the family room and told Mr. FixIt I had a plan. I was going to go out to the camper and hang out for a little quiet time and recharge. 

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I was amazed at the number of dead flies and ladybugs in there! It’s the country, and campers aren’t airtight. I took the Dustbuster out and swept up and cleaned out the refrigerator and cabinets of any food items. I should have done that a couple months ago, but just didn’t get around to it. Once the place was clean, I climbed in my bed, pulled a pile of covers over me and sunk down in…breathing a sigh of relief. 

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I love camper time. I especially needed it yesterday and it was like medicine. I curled up and read and just soaked in all that camper goodness. It’s like the playhouse I never had as a kid. The treehouse. The blanket fort. It’s small and cozy and smells like the woods. It soothes me. I drank bottles of water and felt so much better in a couple of hours. I went back inside and greeted my sweetheart. I sat down to knit. He puttered outside for a bit then made a batch of Peanut Butter Blossoms. 

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The house soon smelled like peanut butter and chocolate. Another area of lights burned out on the tree. There’s only a couple small gifts under it. My cousin and aunt called me from Nevada to wish us a Merry Christmas. I had video chats with the Colorado families. I ate a little. And before I knew it…I felt so much better…so much lighter. As I talked with Daughter #2, she asked how I was holding up. I was honest and told her everything. Then I apologized and said I’d be better soon. She motioned me to come closer to the camera. 

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“You are grieving. It’s ok to feel all the feels. Sadness, anger, anxiety…all of it. Do not apologize for feeling your feelings.” She’s right, of course. Smart girl. It’s a little harder to practice what you preach sometimes, isn’t it? At any rate, I felt so much better after connecting with my people. Today is a new day. It might be good. It might not. But it’s a day, and it’s what we got, and I know I can close my eyes at any moment and ask Jesus to come walk with me awhile. To lift me up and make me stronger to do the things that need to be done. It’s His Birthday today, and I can’t think of a better way to spend it than quietly. Paring everything back to the basics has been so healing this year. And, isn’t that’s what it’s all about? 

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Just…love.

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?

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“For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord.”

\nLuke 2:11 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2021-12-25T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/12/25/joy-to-the-world.html", "tags": ["Grief","Comfort","Holiday","Healing","Anxiety"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/12/24/the-ghosts-of-christmas-present.html", "title": "The Ghosts of Christmas Present", "content_html": "\n
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We have a White Christmas every morning…it’s called FROST!

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Remember back when I first lost Mr. Virgo and I told you I’d be talking a lot about grief and it was going to get real and it wasn’t going to be pretty? I still have readers that were with me since before he died and they can tell you…it’s often been a bumpy ride. I’ve learned a lot about grief in the last eight plus years. From my own. From yours. I know now to anticipate the waves because they can hit you hard. I’ve had a lot of waves hit me the last couple of weeks since losing my dear friend, Sparky. I’ll have more.

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I decided yesterday that when the wave comes, I’ll acknowledge it…honor that pain. Because deep grief means deep love and I am so, so blessed to have many friends that I love to that depth. Acknowledge the pain, honor the pain, thank the pain for reminding you of the depth of love, then let go of the string on that balloon. Send it off up to the heavens. Then…and this is the important follow up…remember something truly wonderful about your person you lost. Their sense of humor. Their strength. Their ability to come up swinging every time life knocked them down. The way they made you feel when you were with them. Cry if you need to, but only as you watch the balloon. Then pick yourself up and move on down the road. Repeat as often as necessary. 

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I had an appointment in town yesterday and decided to go across the river to my favorite grocery story in Ohio. The traffic was abysmal. There was a bad wreck on the main drag and I couldn’t get around it. I felt my anxiety rise as we inched forward. What was I going to see? Would it trigger my PTSD? Then, just as soon as I felt those thoughts, I turned them to prayers. “Lord, be with the people in this wreck and comfort their pain and fear.” “Lord, give everyone patience as we sit here waiting for the traffic to move.” “Lord, lift any anxiety and fear in me so that I can be of service in some way.”

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Just then, we got to the spot where three lanes of traffic merged down to one and a turn lane. And there were emergency vehicles coming in both directions. “Lord, part the traffic so the rescuers can get in.” I looked to my right and stopped. I let cars go through in front of me. I’m sure the people behind me were thrilled with me but that was what I did. When I got to the grocery store, people were literally driving around and around the jam-packed parking lot waiting for a spot to open up. Ohhhhhh, no…huh-uh. I didn’t need anything that bad. Besides, I had to stop at Walmart anyway to pick up prescriptions.

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I made a couple of quick stops then went to Walmart. It was so crammed full and if I hadn’t been out of one of my meds, I would have skipped that one, too. I honestly felt like I was standing in a bee hive. I chatted with the other ladies in the line. Isn’t it funny when you look at people and think of them as “little old ladies” and realize they’re not that much older than you? I notice the skin on the back of my hands is getting thin. I can see the blue veins. Then I laugh. Because…there’s still blood coursing through those veins! “So. Snap out of it!” I hear Sparky say from afar.

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I grabbed milk and eggs and oatmeal for cookies and got the heck out of there. 

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Ho! Ho! Ho! I gotta GO!

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And here it is…Christmas Eve. My heart is a little lighter. Or maybe it’s just that I don’t have to go to town and dive in the hive for a couple of days. At any rate, there’s cookies to be made. Peanut Butter Fudge. Candied Walnuts. Festive containers to be stuffed with delectable treats and delivered to the neighbors. Then, Christmas Eve Dinner for Two…Orange Maple Lamb Chops, Scallops with Lemon Garlic Butter, Baked Potatoes, and Steamed Broccoli. Then we’ll watch White Christmas. And all will be as right with the world as it’s going to be this year. Our Christmas with the kids will be on Sunday, so I’ll have a lazy Christmas Day in my jammies, wrapping presents and knitting.

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May Peace be with you this Christmas…and always.

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?

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“In those days a decree went out from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be registered. This was the first registration when Quirinius was governor of Syria. And all went to be registered, each to his own town. And Joseph also went up from Galilee, from the town of Nazareth, to Judea, to the city of David, which is called Bethlehem, because he was of the house and lineage of David, to be registered with Mary, his betrothed, who was with child.”

\nLuke 2:1-5 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2021-12-24T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/12/24/the-ghosts-of-christmas-present.html", "tags": ["Grief","Hope","Comfort"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/12/21/tidings-of-comfort-and-joy.html", "title": "Tidings of Comfort and Joy", "content_html": "\n
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I want to start out today with a HUGE praise! Remember how we’ve been praying for my dear friend Gail’s son-in-law, Tommy? He was diagnosed with a terrible cancer that had grown so large in his chest, it very nearly killed him before he could get to the hospital. With four little ones at home, one not much more than a newborn, the terrifying journey of massive chemo began. They were so very careful of Tommy ever since because he couldn’t get the Covid vaccine. Still, a couple of weeks ago, the whole family got Covid and we prayed even harder. His chemo finally ended and he had a PET scan done. They went to Cleveland to get the results yesterday and….THE CANCER IS GONE! He has a little inflammation left from the Covid, but the cancer has been kicked to the curb. This was absolutely a Christmas Miracle!!! God is AMAZING! The family would like to thank you all for your continued prayers!

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Now, to the more mundane here on Marshmallow Ranch. We have taken to sleeping in a little later during the winter months. There’s no pressing chores to be done outside so we are enjoying a little hibernation. Still, Mr FixIt usually gets up a little before me and I linger under the covers, reading and replying to your comments here. Yesterday, Mr. FixIt came in and said one of the kids was coming over to pick up a Christmas gift, so we scurried around and picked up the living room before they arrived.

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I cleaned up the kitchen from baking so I can bake some more. Then I sat and knitted while I watched A Christmas Story and my sweetheart snoozed in his recliner. When it came time for supper, I was at a loss for what to make. I didn’t have any hamburger set out or I would have made chili or spaghetti. Mr. FixIt had ham sandwiches for lunch, so that was out. I thought I might make grilled cheese and tomato soup, but alas…no cans of soup. I could have made some from canned tomatoes, but I had a strike of inspiration!

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I’ve never made this before, and I didn’t have a recipe nor did I take the time to look one up. I just flew by the seat of my pants. Remember last week when we talked about buying bulk at Sam’s and how expensive beef has gotten? I picked up a BIG bag of broccoli florets and had about a half bag left. I had three thick slices of Colby cheese from the deli and about a quarter pound of sliced ham. Voila! Cheesy Hammy Broccoli Soup!!! OMGosh! It was SO good. Again, I don’t cook with a recipe, but I’ll tell you as best I can how to make it.

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Cheesy Hammy Broccoli Soup

Melt half a stick of butter in a good sized sauce pan over medium heat. Stir in about a half cup or so of all purpose flour. Stir continuously to make a roux. When it starts to look a little golden, pull it from the flame and set aside for a minute. You don’t want it to scorch.

Steam about 3 cups of broccoli florets. I use a steamer basket over about an inch or so of boiling water and put a lid over it. 

While the broccoli is steaming, chop the ham and cheese and set aside in a bowl.

Put the pan with the roux back on the flame and pour in about 3-4 cups of milk and whisk it till smooth. Bring to a low boil, stirring constantly and cook until it thickens. I used this seasoning blend called Farm Dust. I love it and have no idea what’s in it but you can season yours with garlic and pepper or whatever you like. Be careful not to add a lot of salt because both the ham and the cheese is salty enough.

Add the ham and cheese and stir till the cheese is melted then spoon in the steamed broccoli. If you like a smooth, creamy soup, you can use an immersion blender, but I like mine chunky. So, I used a meat chopper that I bought up in Amish Country. I couldn’t find one on Lehman’s website, but here’s a link on Amazon.

Once everything is combined, ladle it up in big soup bowls and serve with the crackers of your choice. Also goes well with hot rolls or homemade buttermilk biscuits but I didn’t get all “fancy like that.”
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There’s nothing like a big bowl of hot soup to comfort a wounded heart and ward of the chill of a winter’s night. 

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❄️

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“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”

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\nPsalm 73:26 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2021-12-21T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/12/21/tidings-of-comfort-and-joy.html", "tags": ["Comfort","God","Cooking","In the Kitchen"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/11/26/let-the-games-begin.html", "title": "Let the Games Begin!", "content_html": "\n
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I just had to show you this AMAZING sourdough starter. I bought a one ounce jar of starter from King Arthur Baking Company and was thrilled to see it arrived fresh. And look…after only two days of feeding, this thing has taken on a life of its own. It is aromatic and rich and so active…I’m just thrilled! I can’t wait to get in the kitchen and started baking sourdough again.

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Another Thanksgiving is in the books…this one decidedly low key. Mr. FixIt got up at the crack of dawn and went to walk with the kids in the Turkey Trot. I elected to stay home and not overtax these aching bones of mine. I’m hoping after we solve the hyperparathyroidism issue, I can get back to my normal way of life and I can go play with the kids again.

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Our town delivered Thanksgiving meals to our door yesterday morning, so we didn’t even touch the soup beans I had in the crockpot. I’ll make cornbread today and we can have them today. I also decided to wait till today to put the tree up. I love when it’s up and the lights glow in the window, but the idea of slogging everything up the steps and putting it up is not as exciting. As with most things, this Gemini has to be in the proper space to get anything creative done.

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I loved all the video calls I had yesterday. Seeing the kids helps make the distance shrink just a little bit. They look good, they’re healthy and happy and thriving. One cannot ask for more than that in this life.

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I hope your holiday was filled with moments that warmed your hearts. I hope you held close the memories of those no longer with you. And, I hope you made new memories to take with you as we move on down this road of life.

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Life isn’t always easy at this time of year. Pace yourselves, dear ones. Eat well. Drink plenty of water. Get good sleep. Go outside and walk every day. Touch the earth, kiss the sky, and embrace nature. It’s good for what ails ya!

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They’re predicting a little skiff of snow on this morning. And so…it begins.

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?

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“for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God’s church?”

\n‭‭1 Timothy‬ ‭3:5‬ ‭ESV‬‬\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2021-11-26T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/11/26/let-the-games-begin.html", "tags": ["Comfort","Holiday","Farm Life","Baking","Cooking","In the Kitchen"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/11/20/give-us-this-day-our.html", "title": "Give Us This Day Our Daily Bread and Batter!", "content_html": "\n
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A hundred lifetimes ago, I baked competitively and had a bit of a reputation around town as The Pie Queen. The year I got four 1st Place and one 2nd Place, I realized God keeps us humble in pretty blatant ways sometimes and I stepped away from competition to let others coming up behind me have a chance at the fame and fun. I never really missed it. Funny, one of the things I kept was that box full of ribbons. Tales of the glory days, I suppose.

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After a lifetime of baking, I know a good baker when I find one. And I’m always on the lookout for a really great bakery. Some time ago, Mr. FixIt and I were driving down a two lane blacktop when I spotted a sign pointing up a holler. “Our Daily Bread and Batter”. (You can find them here: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100074026041367 )  I was intrigued…but I was also hauling a camper. Since I don’t get down that way very often, I never had the occasion to go back, but that little sign stayed with me. I thought, you have to be a pretty good bakery to make a go of it up a West Virginia holler.

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There’s a little house on the main road that goes through our town. Someone came in and tried to open it up as a restaurant, but it just didn’t look very appealing and before long, it was closed up again. The house sat empty for some time. About a month or so ago, I drove through town and saw a sign out front. “Future Home of Our Daily Bread and Batter!” Wahooooo! I went to the post office yesterday to ship off the books to those who wanted them, and on the way home, I pulled into the little parking lot in front of the little blue house for a little…snack!

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As one might expect from the name, I was greeted with artwork and signs of Faith all around. A small basket by the cash register held copies of “Our Daily Bread”…the devotional I used to get from Grandma’s church. I picked one up with a smile, warm memories flooding over me. Or, was that the enticing aromas coming from the little kitchen in the back? Oh, my…it did smell divine in there!

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A small glass case held what was left of the day’s baked treats. It was already 2:00 by the time I got there and someone else had just about cleaned them out. I selected two glazed donuts, two fry pies, and two pepperoni rolls. A few years ago, there was a small country store on the two lane near the farm that sold the best pepperoni rolls I’ve ever had. I have looked everywhere and haven’t found anything near as good…until yesterday! Oh, dear…I can already see that I am going to have to have a weekly ritual throughout the winter to break up the monotony. There’s a small coffee shop that opened this summer. And now, the bakery. Add that to a couple very cute junk shops and a quilt shop housed in the old one room school house, and I can see I may be having some very happy Wednesdays on my calendar!

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I used to have a weekly open house at my needlework shop. Every Wednesday, women would be waiting for me to open the door. They’d haul in their tote bags with whatever project they were working on, and we would sit around the big table in the back of the shop. We’d order lunch in, then the gals would wander around the shop and pick out more projects to work on. The last gal would leave as I locked up the door for the night. Those were always my best days. Not just because I had big sales. That was nice. But, more important was the camaraderie…the communing with other like-minded women. I’ve always said my stitching groups have been my favorite forms of group therapy.

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When I first moved here, I had visions of the big building out back being converted into a space for gatherings, retreats, quilting bees…that sort of thing. Over the years, the hopes of that have slimmed as it’s just so hard for my sweetheart to let go of his “stuff”. I get that…it took losing Mr. Virgo and the need to downsize for me to let go of mine. Now, I picture “the campground”…the space I’m slowly creating to have a ring of campers or tiny homes or a big tent…something where I can gather creative women for an afternoon, or a day, or a weekend. I picture a covered pavilion where we can sit out of the sun or rain…maybe with a fire pit in the middle. It could have sliding doors…or garage doors that could open according to the weather. 

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We always need dreams. It’s what makes us get up in the mornings. It’s what helps us get through hard times. It’s what brings us joy. I’ll keep dreaming and visualizing a real “Marshmallow Ranch”. I will build it…and the gals will join me and we’ll all have a big time! 

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Won’t it be grand?!?!

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?

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“Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.”

\nProverbs 4:23 ESV\n
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Photos: Mostly from Our Daily Bread and Batter Facebook Page

\n\n", "date_published": "2021-11-20T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/11/20/give-us-this-day-our.html", "tags": ["Gratitude","Comfort","Peaceful Moments","Baking","Friends"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/11/17/a-farm-fix.html", "title": "A Farm Fix!!!", "content_html": "\n
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That’s me, standing where the house used to sit just after they moved it onto the new basement.

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I had to go to town for a followup appointment with the endocrinologist to bring him up to speed with all that’s been going on with my parathyroid issues. The symptoms are the same and it’s obvious to everyone I need to get this thing taken care of. He said it’s like having termites in your house. You may not see much evidence, but behind the scenes the little suckers are busy and before you know it, the piano is in the basement. That’s what is happening with hyperparathyroidism. It is slowly leaching the calcium from my bones so the time is now to get to the bottom of it. 

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I woke up yesterday morning and told Mr. FixIt I needed a “farm fix”. I haven’t been able to stay out here as much as I would have liked this year…mainly because of all the traveling and medical appointments. There was always something going on. But I’m here now for a little R&R. I have a few new magazines to curl up with. I revel in the stillness here. No TV. Very little traffic. I am hoping to hear a lot of birds.

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We are supposed to have a really warm day today, so I’ll sweep the zillions of dead ladybugs off the porch and sit out there with my coffee and my magazines and soak it all in. I love this place so much. I finished the memory book of the farm and ordered copies. I can’t wait to see it! It should arrive the 22nd or 23rd. They are having an 80th birthday party next month for one of my mom’s cousins. I’m going to take a copy to her. In one of the big group family photos, she is just a little girl holding a puppy in the front yard here at the farm. Her family lived down the road a mile or so. As a matter of fact, four out of my grandpa’s five brothers lived within two or three miles of each other most of their lives.

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That’s something I marvel at. People have longevity here. My friend has been married all these years to the fella she started dating in 8th grade. They’ve lived in the same house within a block of where her husband grew up. When people announce they are nearing their 50th wedding anniversary, I jokingly say I’ve been married that long, too. It’s just been to four different men. I don’t know what that kind of “career marriage” would feel like. Or living in the same house, let alone the same city for all my life. I have made twenty-eight moves and have lived in thirteen different cities/towns in two states and two different countries. Change is all I know. I think that’s why I’m so flexible.

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I am so happy to be where I am now. I love Mr. FixIt. We’re going on five years since we started dating, but it seems like so much longer since we’ve known each other since 1968. I love living in West Virginia. I love our little five acres in the country. And, I am so blessed I can still come and stay at the farm pretty much whenever I want. What a great barter…mowing in exchange for time here. It still gives me such a peaceful feeling to sleep in my grandma’s bed. 

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I may not have lived with the same person all my life, nor have I lived in the same house. But, this farm? This farm has been in my heart since the day I was born. This farm is what gives me that feeling of longevity, of steadfast love, of comfort….and peace.

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This house still has the heartbeat of my family nestled in its walls.

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?

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“My people will abide in a peaceful habitation, in secure dwellings, and in quiet resting places.”

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\nIsaiah 32:18 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2021-11-17T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/11/17/a-farm-fix.html", "tags": ["Family","West Virginia","The Farm","Comfort","Aging","Memories","Home"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/11/10/bugs-and-buttermilk-biscuits.html", "title": "Bugs and Buttermilk Biscuits", "content_html": "\n
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This was before they got bad!

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Oh…the continuing saga of the lady beetles. It was a wonderfully warm day yesterday. And, you know what that means? The uptick in the number of lady beetles takes an astronomical leap. This is my fifth November in this house and I’ve never seen an infestation this bad. Actually, now that I think about it, last fall was fairly light in the beetle department, so maybe that’s what they’re so bad this year. I vacuumed them up several times during the day clear into the evening. This is the worst I’ve seen since 2004 when my mom died.

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The day started out good, though. I had a hankerin’ for buttermilk biscuits and sausage gravy for breakfast. I’m getting better at making them. Like learning how to bake with sourdough, these things take time to perfect. I think this batch was the best so far and I actually ended up handling the dough more than usual. Maybe I haven’t been working them quite enough out of fear of making them tough.

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\n[youtu.be/pev2kxd5Y...](https://youtu.be/pev2kxd5YCU)\n
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Once things were put away, we got to work scrubbing the little a-frame and getting it ready to put away for the winter. We had it under the maple tree which was a HUGE mistake. It had little black spots all over it that looked like mildew. But, with a lot of elbow grease and a scrub brush, we finally got it clean. We’ll move it around to the “campground” tomorrow so it doesn’t run the risk of a limb falling on it this winter, then we’ll do a little work on it and sell it come springtime.

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It was a day of putting things away and doing laundry and changing beds. I cooked my own version of a rotisserie chicken in the Ninja combo pressure cooker/air fryer. It was yummy with those leftover biscuits, crinkle cut fries, and macaroni salad. We’ll need to do some mowing today. I thought for sure we were done for the year, but alas…we don’t seem to be. We need to run the snake down the drain out back again before the winter rains set in. Mr. FixIt is going to start cleaning out the big building soon. And I need to go through the boxes downstairs and get rid of more stuff. 

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We are having an early Thanksgiving Dinner tomorrow with the FixIt Family! I can’t wait!

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?

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“While the earth remains, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night, shall not cease.””

\nGenesis 8:22 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2021-11-10T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/11/10/bugs-and-buttermilk-biscuits.html", "tags": ["Family","Comfort","Farm Life","Baking","Cooking","In the Kitchen"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/10/26/my-get-up-and-go.html", "title": "My Get Up and Go, Got Up and Went", "content_html": "\n
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Even though I have a list as long as my arm of things I want to get done before the snow flies, I didn’t get much accomplished yesterday. Since we had our Covid boosters on Sunday, I kind of expected yesterday to be a bit of a slack off our usual schedule. I wasn’t wrong. I don’t feel BAD. No headache, no fever, no body aches any worse than my baseline. Just didn’t have a lot of juice is the only way I can describe it. My arm is sore, but not as sore as the last two shots. So, overall…I’m good.

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I finished winterizing the new camper. While I was out there, I could hear a repetitive series of four beeps in the distance. Once I was finished, I went to investigate and it was Birdie…chirping! It turned out, I left a bucket of water with a little cleaner in it. And Sunday night, we went out and closed the ceiling vent because rain was coming. I think the combo of the cleaner and the vent being closed set off the CO/Propane monitor. That and the fact that the battery ran down because the camper hasn’t been plugged in for a couple of weeks. I set up the trickler on the battery and reset the monitor and the beeping magically went away.

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By this time, we were both ready for supper. I bought a London Broil for $15 on sale Saturday and set it in the fridge in a bowl of marinade. I turned it yesterday morning and let it set another 24 hours in the fridge. I have never broiled anything in this oven before and it took longer to get to internal temperature than I thought it would. It didn’t turn out quite as tender as I had hoped it would, but it was very tasty. We’ll use the leftovers for sandwiches, steak salad, and fajitas this week. That will simplify meal prep.

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We had rain off and on yesterday. I changed the bedding and put the electric blanket on. I love a warm bed in a very cool room. Mr. FixIt, however, loves a warm room with a very light blanket. I have slowly weaned him from that by making sure the electric blanket is really warm when he comes to bed. It just doesn’t make any sense to me to warm up the house for the few seconds it takes to undress and hop under the covers. There are many things we both compromise on and, after all, we’ve only been married three years. We’re still finding areas where we can give and take. I topped off the bed with this really sweet vintage quilt I picked up somewhere along the way. I love sleeping under a quilt. It seems like all the love that went into each square wraps itself around me and makes me feel at peace.

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I was looking at my Facebook memories yesterday and found these great pictures I took on an outing at a local nursery…pre-Mr. FixIt. While spring and summer are my favorite seasons, I think I love fall the most when it comes to photography. I love the warm and cozy vibe you get on cloudy, misty days. I’m definitely NOT a pumpkin spice and Hallmark movie kinda gal, but I do love a big baggy sweater and leggings and great boots with maybe a barn jacket thrown over it with a scarf if it’s really chilly. I’m a falling leaves and cocoa and a great cookbook lover. I’m the happiest when I have something yummy in the oven making the house smell divine. Maybe by the weekend, I’ll have all this camping gear organized and put away for the winter and the family room will be livable again. One can only hope!

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???

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“he will give the rain for your land in its season, the early rain and the later rain, that you may gather in your grain and your wine and your oil.”

\nDeuteronomy 11:14 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2021-10-26T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/10/26/my-get-up-and-go.html", "tags": ["Comfort","Change","Birdie","Big Bird"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/10/20/not-doin-nuthin.html", "title": "Not Doin’ Nuthin’", "content_html": "\n
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The first thing we do every morning is open the shade on the skylight and oooooh and aaaaaah!

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I told Mr. FixIt yesterday morning that I was not doin’ nuthin’ all day ‘cept what I wanted to do. And that’s exactly how it panned out. I ate cookies for breakfast sitting in my big blue chair. It was nippy so I brought out the little ceramic heater and aimed it at my feet while I knitted all morning. My friend Lynn showed up around 1:00 and sat and talked with us for a couple of hours, which was really nice. When she left, we fixed a late lunch and sat at the table watching the sunshine dapple the ground through the trees. We sat and watched the squirrels running around burying the plethora of nuts available in these woods. There is one black squirrel that hangs out nearby and he’s stunning. I also listened for, and identified, several birds in the campground with my Merlin app from Cornell University…including a Red-bellied Woodpecker, a Nashville Warbler, and a Cooper’s Hawk.

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Once the sun started going behind the trees, we went in the camper and stretched out for a little reading/rest time. We like having that little break in the afternoon to just do nothing. Doing nothing in a day full of doing nothing was just what the doctor ordered! Our late lunches are normally our dinner and we eat fruit or a little cereal before bed. We are getting those “old folks” diets. We don’t eat a heck of a lot anymore.

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I only had my iPhone to take a picture of the moon and it never does it justice.

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As the sun began to set, Mr. FixIt and I hopped in the truck and drove over to the boat ramp so we could get a good view of the lake and the sunset. But what surprised us was the full moon coming up over the pine trees on the far shore of the lake. We were so mesmerized, we almost didn’t turn around to see the splendor going on behind us! The sky was clear, the lake was calm, and the moonrise/sunset was just icing on the cake for a perfect day. Once we got back to the campground, the day was done and we retired to our little nest. Mr. FixIt picked out a movie while I sat down to write to you.

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The sunset was spectacular last night!

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I snapped some photos during the day to share with you all. It truly was a beautiful autumn day here in Ohio!

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???

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“And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.”

\nGalatians 6:9 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2021-10-20T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/10/20/not-doin-nuthin.html", "tags": ["Camping","Fun","Gratitude","Comfort","Memories","Friends","Big Bird"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/10/09/paying-my-respects.html", "title": "Paying My Respects", "content_html": "\n
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I am so blessed to have so many wonderful, loving friends who would do anything for me. My besty Gail needed me yesterday. Remember in Sunday’s Prayer Circle I asked specifically for prayers for her stepson who was in critical condition in ICU? Well, sadly…he lost his struggle this week, surrounded by loving family. He was only 32. So, when I woke up yesterday morning, I asked Mr. FixIt if he wanted to ride up to Beaver Falls, PA with me because I needed to go be with my girl.

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My sweetheart has been struggling this week with painful hips from bowling, so he elected not to go with me on this jaunt. Instead, he stayed home and did the laundry and rested. I literally drove four hours up, sat with Gail for an hour at the funeral home, and drove four hours home. I passed the time on the drive talking with friends and family. I mastered hands free voice texts with Little. And I did a lot of thinking. Driving is my best think time…I can solve ALL the problems in a good day’s drive.

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The colors were lovely. Not peak, but still quite nice. I drove up via the interstate with a cut across Cadiz Road. Now, that area of the country is beautiful. Lots of barns and farms and hills with winding roads. I passed through bucolic little towns with their manicured lawns and gardens and white picket fences. Farm stands overflowing with apples and pumpkins and Indian corn stood watch, their honor system buckets weighted down with a good sized rock to keep the money from blowing away. I love Eastern Ohio. It has the rolling hills and green grass of West Virginia with straighter roads and bigger skies, like parts of Colorado. 

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All this driving made for a crazy week. When I pack so much stuff into a short amount of time, I have a hard time remembering what all I did. I’m whupped, but I am so glad I went to support Gail. When I arrived at the funeral home, I signed the guest register and looked up to see Gail trying to figure out who the woman in the black dress was. When I saw her eyes register that it was me, she crumpled and hurried over to me, throwing her arms around my neck and sobbing. I held her tight and let her cry. This is the woman who holds it all together and does for everybody else, asking for very little for herself. She needed me, and I was so glad I could be there for her.

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There was a time, not so long ago, when going there would have been unthinkable. My own trauma and grief surrounding the loss of Mr. Virgo caused me to go into panic mode if I got anywhere near a funeral home. Not long after I moved to WV, a high school friend lost her son in a tragic accident. I went to the funeral home and stood with one of my other besties…Diane. She took one look at my face as I stood there like a deer in the headlights, my fight or flight response getting ready to kick into overdrive at any second. She grabbed my arm and fairly pulled me out of there. As soon as the fresh air hit my face, I realized I was barely breathing.

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Grief is tricky and so hard to navigate. Time has eased so many of the wounds and that allows me to be more emotionally accessible for others. When I mentor others walking through the same path, I make sure they understand they are not alone, they are not crazy, and the things they go through…no matter how painful…will eventually become easier to bear. Life will never ever be the same as it was before losing Mr. Virgo…but I sure am glad I can give more of myself now to those who are hurting.

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My prayers are always with the bereaved. May they find some comfort …“in the arms of an angel”.

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?

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“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.”

\n2 Corinthians 1:3-4 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2021-10-09T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/10/09/paying-my-respects.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Comfort","Humbled","Friends","Healing"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/10/04/the-blessings-of-autumn.html", "title": "The Blessings of Autumn", "content_html": "\n
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The Forsythia are Blooming…Again!

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I spoke to my cousin last week. She told me she and my aunt were out for a nice walk. It had finally “cooled off” and was only 84 degrees. They live near Las Vegas. Summer is 120! I can’t imagine living like that, yet that’s what’s coming with global warming, I’m afraid. I remember living in Colorado. There was always that moment when you knew autumn was coming hard. You get up and turn on the furnace. Then, mid-day…you turn off the furnace, take off your hoodie, and open the windows. Then, mid-afternoon…you change into shorts, close the windows, and turn on the AC. Then, the sun sets. You turn off the AC, open the windows to catch a breath of fresh air. Shortly after, you close the windows, put the hoodie back on…and maybe socks. By bedtime, you have the electric blanket warming up and maybe you can get by without the furnace for a while longer.

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The African Lily is Putting Out Seed Pods

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Here in West Virginia, it’s a different game. We have humidity. That makes the heat feel hotter and the cold feel colder. It’s been quite a while since we’ve had the AC on, and we aren’t anywhere near needing the furnace. I slept in the camper Saturday night and the temps got down in the 50’s. It was right comfortable out there, although I did turn on the electric blanket on low.

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Another Giant Puffball has Started on the Lawn

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We still have much to do to prepare for winter. We need to close down the pool yet. The garden needs cleaned up, the brush pile burned, and some shutters replaced. Mr. FixIt is going to put new rotors and brakes on his truck this week if it doesn’t rain too much. I need to winterize the camper and clean it out from the last trip. We were so busy all year, my brain has kinda been on autopilot since we got back from Colorado. I need to get moving and get things done around here. The snow will fly before we know it!

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Passion Fruit…also called Passion Flower Pods

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I wandered around the yard over the weekend and took some more photos. The flowers are producing seed pods for next year. I harvested some seeds from the evening primrose under grandma’s kitchen window at the farm. I need to see if I can get some more before the wind scatters them everywhere. I didn’t get the iris thinned out this year…again. Maybe next year will be better…less hectic. Whadda ya think? Any chance of that? lol

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?

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“He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength.”

\nIsaiah 40:29 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2021-10-04T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/10/04/the-blessings-of-autumn.html", "tags": ["West Virginia","Comfort","Farm Life","Home"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/09/26/knitting-wounded-hearts.html", "title": "Knitting Wounded Hearts", "content_html": "\n
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I wish I could say I made these beauties, but they are Cindy’s creation!

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One of my biggest goals for the weekend was to be here to support my dear friend, Gail. She has had so many family emergencies with life threatening illnesses this year…she was feeling overwhelmed and in dire need of hugs. I’m so glad we got to spend some much needed one-on-one time yesterday. We sat and knitted for hours. We laughed, we cried, we hugged. Sometimes you just need a dear friend to hug you and say…I’m here for you. 

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When you are knitting with a friend, you are knitting much more than yarn. You are knitting wounded hearts.

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Knitting and chatting with my dear friend, Gail…and admiring the colors.

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We had a crackling fire going all day because it was pretty darned chilly at the campground. We started the day with a hearty breakfast…scrambled eggs, bacon, homemade cinnamon rolls, and coffee. I brought a new variety of apple for snacking. They’re called Cosmic Crisps and they are SO good. It has been a long time since I’ve eaten apples and really enjoyed them, but these just might get me back into “an apple a day”. 

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Three of our camper gals went out exploring in the afternoon so Gail and I continued to knit. I’m using up the leftover yarn from the shawl I knitted this summer and I’m making a hat. I love it so far.

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The camper is working great. The girls love it. It was predicted to get down to 46 degrees last night so I’m really glad I brought my electric blanket and little space heater. They worked well Friday night. Today, we’ll all have breakfast together. Jan brought her banjo so she’ll play a little for us. We’ll break camp then Gail and I will watch church together before I head home. 

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Talking around the fire.

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One of the gals was telling me yesterday that she likes to do a variety of activities when she goes camping so she feels like she’s had a longer weekend. I’m just the opposite. I am SO busy in my everyday life that all I wanted to do this weekend was sit for hours, talk with my friend, and knit. I feel like I’ve been gone much longer than a weekend. Yet…it always ends too soon when you’re having fun, doesn’t it?

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?

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“Oil and perfume make the heart glad, and the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel.”

\nProverbs 27:9 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2021-09-26T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/09/26/knitting-wounded-hearts.html", "tags": ["Camping","Comfort","Friends","Birdie"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/09/24/mums-the-word.html", "title": "Mum’s the Word", "content_html": "\n
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It’s mum season. Pumpkin spice everything is everywhere. I’m sorta kinda ready this time. I always hate seeing summer leave us, but I know we will have stretches of “Indian Summer” in a little while so there’s still lots of time to get out and do fun things. I was too busy yesterday to take any photos for this morning’s blog, so I went through my archives and chose some pictures I took of beautiful autumn flowers to share with you today.

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I always say I’m going to plant flowers “this year”…but I end up looking at the price tags and thinking… “I could have a great camping trip with that money!” So, I drive around and visit nurseries and take some great photos. They’re free, they never die, and I can pull them up and look at them whenever I want. I can kill a silk plant…seriously. I’m always amazed at the flowers we have outside that I haven’t managed to kill. That’s because I leave it all up to God to do the gardening. I’m just along for the joy ride.

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Mr. FixIt changed the oil in my truck for me yesterday in preparation for my trip to camp with the girls this weekend. The weather has really taken a turn and it’s predicted to be pretty darned chilly. I rummaged around in the guest closet yesterday afternoon, pulled out an electric blanket and set it by the front door to take with me. I have leggings and sweatshirts packed. I’ll find my hiking boots and wool socks and put them in the truck. I think I’ll even take a heavy coat for sitting around the fire. I have my small ceramic heater in the camper already. The furnace for the camper is actually located under the dinette, which is currently down in a twin bed position, so I can’t light it. It doesn’t matter though…that little electric heater really warms up a small camper in no time.

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I always wait till I get to the town nearest my destination before I buy what I need to contribute to the communal meals when I camp with a bunch of girlfriends. That works out really well with this little a-frame camper. Normally, I would just go in and fill the fridge and pantry in a bigger camper. But I’d have to pop this one up in order to get in and that isn’t feasible. This way, I can just drive the last ten minutes, get set up, and then put everything away. 

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I went through my camping supplies yesterday that I keep packed and ready to go. I use a rechargeable drill to lower and raise the stabilization jacks on my campers. I know I had the charger for my drill earlier this summer in preparation for camping. But now I can’t find it anywhere. So… “Mr. FixIt’s Mercantile” to the rescue again. He has one of everything and two of most, so I just raided one of his drills and chargers. I charged the battery up in it to make sure it’s working right for when I set up today. I may not have been a full-fledged Girl Scout, but I was a Brownie…and that’s pretty close! I like to have every possible scenario covered…just in case.

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I have food prepared for Mr. FixIt for when I’m gone. I made a big pot of spaghetti sauce yesterday and we had it over spaghetti squash last night. SO good! It’s so packed with meat, he can eat it like a Sloppy Joe, or add beans and chili powder and have a nice pot of chili for the weekend. He has sandwich fixin’s and a full pantry, so he isn’t going to starve. I just like to leave him some “love in a pot” when I go somewhere so I know he’s well cared for.

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He has plenty to do to keep him busy. It’s time to close the pool for the year. The garden needs pulled up. The burn pile is growing ever larger so that could use doing. What I really hope he does is put his feet up, call a friend, take a nap, watch a movie. If I’m going to be out playing with the girls, he should be relaxing, as well.

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And, so…it is autumn.

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?

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“The grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of our God will stand forever.”

\nIsaiah 40:8 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2021-09-24T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/09/24/mums-the-word.html", "tags": ["Camping","Comfort","Change","Be Joyful!","Road Trip","Friends","Birdie"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/09/03/the-grand-prairie-and-birdies.html", "title": "The Grand Prairie and Birdie’s Grand Adventure", "content_html": "\n
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If we were just meandering around the country with absolutely no agenda, there are some places we would have stopped and explored some more. Like…oodles of antique stores and quilt shops, for one thing. And there were some interesting museums that explored the history of pioneers heading west. I would love to see that some day. But I’m ready to see my kids!

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We left Two Rivers State Recreation Area in Waterloo, Nebraska yesterday morning. The day broke cloudy and cool which made for great sleeping weather and driving was easy on the eyes. Since we were so far north of I-80, “Mavis” the GPS took us due south on US-77. What a great road! Seventy miles per hour four lane with NO traffic. Unfortunately, it was over all too soon and we were off to the dodgems of the long haul truckers heading west. We passed through several rainstorms but they weren’t nearly as heavy as the once we saw earlier in the week.

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The Grand Prairie really amazes me. Long stretches of fields filled with thousands of round bales of hay. Soybeans and corn and grains of every variety as far as the eye could see. But the one thing that takes my breath away is the blanket of yellow Prairie Sunflowers. These aren’t the big heads of cultivated sunflowers grown for seed, oil, and other byproducts. These are wild and gangly and….everywhere! They look a lot like what we call Black-Eyed Susans back home. When we arrived at our campsite last night, the whole place was surrounded by fields of these beautiful flowers that make me smile. 

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As we were driving along, I noticed a dark moving “cloud” and immediately caught my breath. 

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“Look! A murmuration of birds!”

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A murmuration is when a flock of birds fly together and as they soar around, they come together and expand, and create moving shapes in the sky. They are mesmerizing. They flew up from the fields of corn, did their sky dance, and just as rapidly…settled back down into the field again. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen a really big murmuration…and this one could be seen from quite a distance.

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We decided to cut our day in half yesterday and stop at Lake McConaughy in Ogallala, Nebraska. I’ve never been here and it was such a shock to come over the hill and see this huge body of water. The next thing you notice is how low the water level has fallen. The entire west is in a mega drought. I’ve seen reservoirs drop, but this is shocking. The lake is still huge and a major source of recreation in the area. Just about every license plate in the campground was Colorado. We were really lucky we hit the place yesterday, because they are booked for the next several days for Labor Day Weekend.

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One “benefit” of the low water level is the broad, sandy beaches left exposed. People rush here to camp right down on the sand and by last evening, it was beginning to resemble Ft. Lauderdale. It was fun to watch. These huge tractors with massive tires towed the campers and 5th wheels down to the beach and backed them into their places. Then, when it’s time for the campers to leave, the tractors come back and haul them back up to the parking lots and their owners hook up and head on home. I’ve never seen anything like it.

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Everything has been working well with the camper. And, as with all mechanical things, little stuff needs tended to from time to time. As I was backing into the campsite yesterday afternoon, when Mr. FixIt noticed the brake light on the drivers side was burned out. He went to pop off the lens and found it was glued on. This happens frequently because the lens attaches to the light fixture itself with two small plastic hooks. It’s very easy to break one of those hooks when changing a burned out light bulb. And the easiest fix is with glue. We will need to do a permanent fix with new rear light fixtures. They aren’t very expensive. We can order them from Amazon if we can’t find them at a trailer supply store in Denver. No big deal.

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Everything in life requires maintenance. I’ve been enjoying the “tuneup” traveling with my sweetheart has afforded me. I think Birdie is the best camper we could have bought to keep us in close quarters. And hours in a pickup truck, toodling across the miles is an excellent way to keep the communication going. Every time Mr. FixIt and I take a trip, we always say “That was the BEST one!” 

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And yet…each one gets better!

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?

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“Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips!”

\nPsalm 141:3 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2021-09-03T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/09/03/the-grand-prairie-and-birdies.html", "tags": ["Camping","The Grand Adventure","Comfort","Road Trip","Marriage","Birdie"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/08/22/theres-a-fungus-among-us.html", "title": "There’s a Fungus Among Us", "content_html": "\n
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I got back from my little impromptu camping trip in the early afternoon. It was already in the mid 80’s but as soon as I had the camper unhooked and set up, I hopped on the riding mower. I told you yesterday, with all this rain, you could HEAR the grass growing. I wasn’t kidding. It was amazing. But that wasn’t the only thing that grew fast…take a look at this mushroom!

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I would bet money this thing wasn’t there Friday when I left for Huntington. If it was, it was very small. When I walked into the back gate, this thing was like “HEY…I’M HERE!!!!” I’ve posted it on my personal page as well as Twitter, so let’s see if we get a hit. Someone out there is bound to be a mushroom forager! 

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When I lived in England, Hubby #1 came home from work one day with a grocery sack FULL of mushrooms. They looked exactly like the white mushrooms you buy in the store. He said they were given to him by well trained mushroom foragers, and…since they weren’t red with white spots, and since I was a pretty young housewife on a budget, I fried them up in about a pound of butter. We sat down with a fork and ate every one of them…they were SO good. The differences between fresh food and store bought is staggering. I’ve never been brave enough since to eat a mushroom I’ve found. Now, I know what a morel mushroom looks like so you can guarantee if I ever find any of those…I’m eating them. Or selling them to a fine restaurant!

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It was 88 degrees when I finally finished mowing the five acres. Mr. FixIt was using the push mower and the weed eater. We both finished at the same time. I went inside to change and jumped in the pool. We have struggled with algae all summer. Mr. FixIt treated the water with algaecide this week so there was a layer of sediment on the bottom. I vacuumed as much up as I could, then I used a broom to stir it all up and clean the sides of the pool. When I was done, the water was a dull murky greenish brown again so I added more algaecide. We didn’t have a bit of trouble last summer. But it was so hot and dry this year, and what we thought was algaecide…wasn’t. I think we’ve got a handle on it now…just in time to start thinking about closing the pool up for the season. Pools are an awful lot of work, but when you’ve been mowing for a few hours in the August heat, there’s nothing like a refreshing dip. And, since it’s been so rainy this week, the water was a great temperature.

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Yesterday was one of those “just do the next thing” days. Mr. FixIt and I work very well together as a team. We just start working. And whatever we’re doing just seems to work in tandem till the job is done. I’ve never really had a relationship like this. Hubby #1 and I weren’t together long enough to have a place to work on together. Hubby #2 was a doctor. He mowed the lawn in our later years together, but I did the gardening and planting, building, painting, etc. He was always too busy. Mr. Virgo, God rest his soul, was NOT handy with tools. He got on a kick one time and decided to refinish the night stands in our room to match a new bedroom suite he bought. When those turned out pretty well, he decided to refinish my mother’s cedar chest. He used a combination stain and varnish kind of thing and when he was finished, you couldn’t open the chest! It was the thought that counts and it made a nice bench.

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And now…I have Mr. FixIt. He doesn’t get that name for nuthin! He can do ANYTHING. He’s so handy and creative and fun to work with. On occasion we butt heads because I want things done MY way way and he wants them HIS. I almost always back off and learn there’s more than one way to get a job done and I don’t ALWAYS have to be right! I love it when life is fun and hard jobs are made easier with a willing partner.

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?

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“She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.”

\nProverbs 31:26-27 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2021-08-22T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/08/22/theres-a-fungus-among-us.html", "tags": ["Family","Comfort","Farm Life","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/08/19/birdies-little-road-tripginnys-little.html", "title": "Birdie’s Little Road Trip…Ginny’s Little Break", "content_html": "\n
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Ok, show of hands. How many of you have had something scheduled the following morning. You brush your teeth, take your meds, set your alarm and say your prayers. You lay back, tired from a full day…ready to sleep. And all you can see is the numbers on the alarm clock. 

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“6:30. Dang, that’s early. I haven’t gotten up that early in ages. When WAS the last time I got up that early? It must have been when I had my surgery……Gosh…that surgery! I’m so disappointed it didn’t work! Now I’m going to probably have to have another one. Just need to get that next scan done. Wait…when is that scheduled? Oh, yeah…the day after we get back from camping. Which is four days after we get back from Colorado! What was I thinking??? We’re going to be exhausted! Speaking of exhausted….settled down now. Get to sleep. Breathe in….breathe out. Think calm thoughts. Think of the beach……The beach. We’re really going to miss our October trip to the beach this year for our anniversary. Which one is this? Let’s see…’18 to ‘19, ‘19 to ‘20, ‘20 to ‘21. Three! Holy cats! How did that happen so fast??? Three whole years. We are so blessed and have so much fun together. Yeah, we’ll miss the beach, but we are going to have such a wonderful time in Colorado! ……. Oh, I have to remember to pack……” 

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You get the idea. Staring holes in the ceiling and ticking off the lists in your head is NOT how you get a good night’s sleep. Neither is waiting for the alarm to go off. Mr. FixIt set his alarm for 4:00 to go downstairs and check the storm drain. He was so sound asleep, I had to shake him three or four times to get him awake enough to turn it off. I had been asleep all of one hour…I kid you not. And that was the end of any sleep for me. I got up before my alarm was due at 6:30, took my shower, and headed out in the early morning light to tow Birdie down to Setzer’s to get the leak fixed. It was raining hard as Tropical Storm Fred passed through the Mid Ohio Valley. I drove slowly in the gloomy grey of the wet Wednesday morning traffic.

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The monotony of the windshield wipers drove home how tired I was and I had to resort to singing and blasting the air conditioner to stay awake. It took about two-and-a-half hours to get there towing Birdie. She’s so light and easy to pull, you hardly know she’s back there. I checked her into the service department. They may get to her this morning…maybe tomorrow. And, the sealant has to cure for at least six to eight hours before you can tow. I went back to the truck and unhooked the camper and tried to decide if I had it in me to drive the two-and-a-half hours back home through this rain. I made an executive decision and went to a name brand hotel and checked in. I barely made it to the bed before I fell sound asleep for four solid hours. What utter bliss!

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When I awoke, I took myself out for a curbside supper from the restaurant across the parking lot from the hotel. Then I went to Menard’s home store and picked up a few storage solutions for the little camper for our trip. I got back to the hotel well before dark and checked in with my sweetheart. All is good on the home front. We bought new blades for the drain snake a few weeks back. He ran it down the drain and it let loose like someone popped a cork. These blades were bigger and heavier duty than the ones that came with the machine and they were much more effective. Between keeping the gutters clean and snaking the drain on a regular basis, we should be good till we can get a permanent fix when we get home from Colorado.

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The joys of farm life and home ownership. There’s always something to be built, torn down, fixed, replaced, organized, or thrown away. There’s hardly ever a time when you can just sit down and work on a hobby…not during the summer anyway. This is the time of year when I start to long for the change of seasons…for no other reason than the mowing will be done. For a few months anyway. This idea I have to turning the far field into a pollinator-friendly cacophony of wildflowers will cut down on our mowing responsibilities in the future, as well.

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Always thinking ahead. 

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And now….for that long awaited bubble bath!

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?

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“And he said to them, “Come away by yourselves to a desolate place and rest a while.” For many were coming and going, and they had no leisure even to eat.”

\nMark 6:31 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2021-08-19T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/08/19/birdies-little-road-tripginnys-little.html", "tags": ["Comfort","Peaceful Moments","Choices","Farm Life","Birdie"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/07/14/take-five.html", "title": "Take Five", "content_html": "\n
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Another Day Done

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I’m not ashamed to say, I didn’t do diddly squat yesterday! Well, i went to town to get my blood drawn, met up with Mr. FixIt, grabbed some lunch in the rain, took some squash from the garden over to the former Mrs. FixIt’s house and sat on her front porch for awhile to watch the rain some more. We went home. I took a nap. Then I surfed the internet. Do I buy a smaller camper this truck can easily tow? Do I buy a stronger truck with less miles and keep the camper I have? Do we fly to Colorado in September? Or do we drive? My older truck with over 100K miles on it? Or rent a car? If we drive, do I take a camper? If so…see earlier musings on camper and truck.

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Decisions, decisions. And the most delicious thing is…I didn’t have to make any!

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Little and gang have stopped for their second night on the road. They will get home tomorrow. I am so happy they didn’t try to just drive straight through. My daughter is slowly realizing each decade lived presents a slight decrease in what you can accomplish in one day. I will definitely breathe a huge sigh of relief when they arrive home safely. Then I can turn my attention to the next big trip. Once I get it planned, we can work on the next big project.

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I love that there is always something to do!

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There’s never a dull moment!

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?

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“It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives to his beloved sleep.”

\nPsalm 127:2 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2021-07-14T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/07/14/take-five.html", "tags": ["Health","Family","Comfort","Peace"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/07/09/holding-my-thoughts-captive.html", "title": "Holding my Thoughts Captive", "content_html": "\n
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Chilling after a five hour drive…listening to a podcast.

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From the time my uncle told me it was time to sell the farm, I started having a major uptick in my anxiety. I had never known a time in my life when the farm was not “home” to me. My heart was breaking. Where would I go to recharge? Where would I feel my family again? On top of that, my daughter and grandchildren were coming to see us and Little was going to stay a couple of weeks. We hadn’t seen each other in two years. Would the newly grown up teenagers like their “old Nana”? What if Little couldn’t relate to me? What if something happened to her, or me, or Mr. FixIt while her mom was so far away? It got so bad, I actually saw the doctor a couple of times because I thought I was having a heart attack.

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You get where I’m going with this? I was succumbing to my worries and anxiety as well as openly mourning the passing of an era…the era of “The Farm”. I knew I had to do something. Because I was not making life easy for anyone around me. And that would guarantee that Little wouldn’t want to be around me in such a state. She is very sensitive to other’s emotions. Oh, I could have gone to another therapist. But, seriously…I have had ten years of therapy for depression and anxiety. I know as much about it as the therapists. I have every tool in my tool box. I didn’t have a lot of faith that this time would be any different.

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So, I approached it biblically. I went to God. I asked Him to show me how to help myself out of these downward spirals. I kept thinking of the scripture about holding our thoughts captive and started reading every devotional I could find about anxiety and fighting the war in your mind. I found so many wonderful works and they really helped. 

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The basic tenet is…you cannot worry while you are praising God. I told you a few weeks ago that it really helped me to do repetitive affirmations. But not focused on me….focused on God. I started thanking him for everything. I had a little anxiety when I left yesterday morning. This is the first time I’ve left Mr. FixIt and been so far away. It’s one thing to spend a few days over at the farm when I’m only 20 miles away. It’s a whole different thing when I’m four hours away! 

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I know that psychologists use repetitive activity to soothe anxiety. Combining that with praising God was a no brainer. The secret is to remember to do it and not just run down the rabbit hole of angst. As I drove, the enemy put thoughts into my head. 

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“You can’t go this far away from him alone.”

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“You know, if something happens to him and you’re not there, you’ll never forgive yourself.”

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“Maybe you don’t have that adventurous spirit anymore.”

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“Maybe you should turn around and just go back home.” 

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“You don’t have what it takes to do this.”

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You get the drift. Now, ordinarily, I would listen to that voice, and my fight or flight response would kick in, and then the nausea would start. Then, I’d spiral down, down, down till I got physically ill. Let me tell you something…this is the God’s honest truth. That is no way to live. There is no joy in that whatsoever.

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And I want joy. I deserve JOY! It’s how God built us…to enjoy life. I was definitely not enjoying that particular stretch. I finally found a devotional that mixed science facts with faith. As I drove yesterday and felt my heart rate increase with every mile further away from my sweetheart, I brought myself into the present and asked God to teach me how to attain that “peace beyond all understanding.” 

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I started looking at everything in my periphery. Starting every sentence with “Thank you God, for……” I thanked him for a beautiful day…for the luxurious foliage…for the way the sun glinted off the river…for the chance to spend quality time with Little…for my wonderful friends waiting for me at our destination. In no time flat…the anxiety was gone. I was in the moment and feeling such joy and piece. 

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I thought to myself… “Is it really that easy?” 

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Yes. It is. But, the hard part is capturing your thoughts before they take you down the rabbit hole. It’s hard to break 68 years of a bad habit. I’m committed to doing this. Because, the peace I felt was palpable…golden…complete.

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Anyway, after a four hour drive and a trip to Walmart for food and supplies, we put things away, ate supper, and joined some of the gals to visit. Chilling in the campground is a happy way to end the day!

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?

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“Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.”

\nProverbs 4:23 ESV\n
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“Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.”

\nJames 4:7 ESV\n
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“We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ,”

\n2 Corinthians 10:5 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2021-07-09T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/07/09/holding-my-thoughts-captive.html", "tags": ["Comfort","Courage","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/06/23/it-never-fails.html", "title": "It Never Fails", "content_html": "\n
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Little’s Room is just about ready!

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Mr. FixIt and I were talking about this yesterday. Whenever you have a project going…you have to make umpteen trips to the hardware store. This fitting was the wrong size. This lag bolt was too short. “I tried to tell the sales guy that this shutoff valve wouldn’t fit, but I let him talk me into it!” It never fails. It’s not all that big of a deal when you live in town and the hardware store is a mile or two away, like when I fixed up my mom’s house to sell. But, when you live twenty “West Virginia Miles” away…it’s a whole different ballgame.

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I purchased these pillow shams years ago…hand stitched on antique German linen bedsheets.

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We ended up having to run to town again yesterday because something didn’t fit or it was too long or whatever. I had an errand I wanted to do anyway, so I tagged along for the ride. Remember how I’ve told you in the past that a trip to town is an all day ordeal? Yeah…breakfast on the way in…dinner on the way back. The upside? I didn’t have to cook! We found what we were looking for. Also, I purchased a reproduction cross-stitch sampler off Facebook Marketplace a few weeks ago and finally got around to taking it in for framing. I was hoping it would be ready by the end of the week, but it doesn’t look like it. My fault for taking so long to get it in there.

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My Aunt Peeps gave the antique rabbit doorstop to my mom.

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When we got home, I helped Mr. FIxIt set the sink in the bathroom and hold it while he attached it to the wall with lag bolts. Then I worked on Little’s room. It’s almost finished. If I’d thought of it ahead of time, I would have given it a fresh coat of paint, but I doubt she’ll notice. I just wanted it to be comfy and peaceful for her. I’ll finish it, clean up our room today for Daughter #1 and Big, then clean out the fridge. Thursday is grocery day. Then they arrive on Friday!

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Dining al Fresco at the river

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Thank goodness we don’t have any rain forecast for a while. By yesterday morning, we had 3” of rain in the gauge…in around 15 hours’ time! Mr. FixIt got up a couple of times in the night to check the storm drain and it was perfect. We will both be so glad when the kids get here and we can stop working on projects for a while and just enjoy them…and summer!

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Almost finished!

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?

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“For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me,”

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Matthew 25:35 ESV

\n\n", "date_published": "2021-06-23T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/06/23/it-never-fails.html", "tags": ["Family","Fun","Gratitude","Comfort"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/05/30/i-have-a-dream.html", "title": "I Have a Dream", "content_html": "\n
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My Bubby turns 70 this fall. We’ll be traveling to Colorado to help him celebrate. My dear sister/friend texted me yesterday telling me her husband will soon be 75. Mr. FixIt will be 70 in the early New Year. And I’ll be 68 next month. I told my friend, “How can this be possible? We were just laying out with baby oil and Sun-In in our hair...like, five minutes ago!” And now? Wow!

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It’s not bad, though. I mean...I’ve done an awful lot in this life. I had countless “careers”, four husbands, kids galore if you count all the ones who called me “Mom”. I’ve lived in England and Colorado and now back to my roots in WV. I’ve traveled alone halfway around the world. I’ve pulled a 30’ camper by myself back and forth across the country. I’ve slept under the stars and howled at the moon. I’ve skinny dipped in hot springs in the nooks and crannies of the Rockies. I’ve brought two amazing women into the world...my greatest achievement.

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And now...I have this amazing life. This almost-68-year-old amazing life with this wonderful guy I’ve known since I was a kid. And we live on five beautiful acres in the country. Honestly...I’m living my dream life. Short of owning Grandma’s farm, this is perfect! And, now that we’ve decided to stay put, my heart is putting down roots even further. I’ve been thinking about ways to carve out spaces on our acreage that are not only beautiful, but functional and fun.

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I’ve wanted a “she-shed” for years. I have it in my head what I want it to look like. I save photos that I see and file them away for reference. There is a beautiful shed in a garden in Seattle that inspires me. It’s a Little White House that the owners rent out as a space for photo shoots and teas and such. I’d love to have something like that. To make this into a complex with little sheds and gardens and paths. A place for a couple of campers. A large communal fire pit. We already have the big building. We could start with something like an Autumn Festival and sell antiques. We could have a place for live music. There’s plenty of room for parking. It could be really cool. Or it could just be a dream. Who knows? The important thing is...always having a dream. Something to look forward to. Something that brings you joy. 

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Sixty-eight. Hey...it’s not NINETY-EIGHT! I have a DREAM!

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?

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“Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.”

\nPsalm 37:4 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2021-05-30T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/05/30/i-have-a-dream.html", "tags": ["Positive Energy","West Virginia","New Ideas","Gratitude","Comfort","Be Joyful!","Farm Life"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/05/18/my-grandma-had-a-dream.html", "title": "My Grandma Had a Dream", "content_html": "\n
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She was only fifteen when she ran off with the hired hand on her daddy’s farm and got married in Oakland, Maryland. She finished eighth grade, and could read and write and cipher. PopPop was twenty-two. He also left school when his daddy died young, leaving his mama to raise five little boys under the age of ten. He was the oldest and he needed to help feed his little brothers.

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Grandma always dreamed of having a farm of their own where they could raise their kids and feed them with what they could grow. She was a farm girl, after all. I have pictures of her riding the plow horse when my great grandfather put up hay for their cattle. Grandma saw that long drink of water in my PopPop and the rest, as they say, is history. 

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Life has a way of happening in spite of what you plan. I’m still learning of their early years. I know they were married in 1921. Her first born was a little boy, named after his daddy. He was born sleeping in 1924. I do not know where he was laid to rest, but I do know that my mom was born the following year in Indiana where PopPop and Grandma had gone for work. Their second child was born in Illinois the year before the Great Depression began. They had two more children before they headed back home to West Virginia. They had six children before the Depression ended.

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As I moved things around yesterday, preparing to pack up the last of my belongings, I noticed something was taped to the window frame in Grandma’s room. When I took a closer look, I smiled. I’m sure the rest of the article clipped from the Journal Star of Peoria, Illinois is somewhere in my papers. I remember it was a photo of some flowers in a garden...Lily of the Valley, to be exact. They reminded Grandma of home, so she cut that picture out and vowed to find her a farm where these delicate little flowers could grow. She finally did, sometime between 1932 and 1934.

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West Virginia was home to both of them, and they soon found a place back on the hill on this very farm. Eventually, they purchased the farm and moved down off the hill into the present house. Grandma always said...this farm was her dream and she never wanted to live anywhere else in the whole wide world.

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When my grandma became older, my Aunt Peeps took this clipping and taped it to the window frame in Grandma’s bedroom where she could look at it. She always called this place her little slice of heaven, and my aunt wanted her to see her coming heavenly home as something loved and familiar.

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As I sat on the front porch during my dinner break, it started raining. I threw a handful of old English Walnuts into the yard to lure the squirrels out for a treat. I noticed a little scuffle under the rhododendron and soon, out popped mama robin with three fledglings chasing her...wanting to be fed. They’re big enough to eat on their own...but they wanted the comfort of something familiar. I could relate.

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You see, even though I’ve been saying I let go of the farm already, it’s obvious to anyone reading my posts the last couple of weeks...that wasn’t quite true. It’s the same as these little fledgling robins...I need to leave the nest, but I want the place to feed me. I once climbed a cliff with Hubby #2. When I looked down, I froze. He tried to talk me out of my fear but I was escalating. Finally, he calmly said...

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“Well, you can figure out a way to move on from this point, or you can buy real estate here.”

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I got the same message yesterday from a very dear friend. She shoots from the hip and kicks me in the butt when I need it.

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“Look, you’re going to either need to buy the d*** place, or move on. You can’t stay where you are.”

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They were both right...unless I’m prepared to buy the real estate where I am...and I just can’t. I mean...I COULD, but I shouldn’t, I have to find a way to move on. I’m finding little bread crumbs...marking the trail in the direction I need to go. Finding this little snippet of old, crackly newspaper with my aunt’s shaky writing on it let me know I’m on the right track. It says...

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“Mom’s Lily of the Valley”

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It was a picture of what she dreamed of having one day. This was it...her special place. She made sure I loved it like she did. And now she’s leading me on to great adventures elsewhere. (It’s more accurate to say, my memories of her are inspiring me. I’m not ACTUALLY having conversations with dead people.) I’m not sure what the next adventure will look like, but I know who my traveling partner is...my sweet Mr. FixIt. And, as he says...

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“There’s always an adventure with Ginny McKinney!”

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My story isn’t finished yet, but I’m telling you what...I am so grateful to have had this little slice of heaven to call my home and to love with all my heart, whether I owned it or not.

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?

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“Everything on earth has its own time and its own season.”

\nEcclesiastes 3:1 CEV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2021-05-18T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/05/18/my-grandma-had-a-dream.html", "tags": ["Family","West Virginia","The Farm","Comfort","Wisdom","Farm Life"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/05/09/joy-is-home.html", "title": "“Joy” is Home", "content_html": "\n
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Back in 2017, when Mr. FixIt and I were a new item in the dating scene, he called me on a drizzly afternoon.

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“Hey...I was driving home and saw a beautiful two seater Mercedes!”

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Oh, no. That was Mr. Virgo’s dream car. Was I going to get to enjoy it instead? 

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“Really? Are you interested in getting something like that? Let me tell you...I had a Mercedes once. They are NOT cheap to take care of!”

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“Well...why don’t you come with me to look at it.”

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I agreed and the next afternoon, we drove by to see. We sat in the truck looking at that gorgeous silver bullet and he didn’t make a move to get out. He didn’t say a word. He just looked at me and smiled.

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“What?” I laughed. 

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“I’m sure you would be much more interested in what’s under the carport than in the little sports car.”

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My eye followed his gaze and there she was! A black and white, 1967 Franklin travel trailer. The Franklin Coach Company was founded in 1945 and was instrumental in creating the Recreational Vehicle Industry Association (RVIA) and is the longest running, continuous ownership in the industry.

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I squealed and clapped my hands and jumped out of the truck. A man came out of the house and walked toward us.

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“Hey, there! You all interested in the Mercedes? I just put her out yesterday. I’m buying a Corvette so I need to get rid of this baby first.”

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I smiled and said, “No. I’m more interested in that little camper. Is she for sale?”

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The camper was actually his 16-year-old daughter’s. Her best friend had fixed up a camper, so she wanted to do one, too. But, as with many things teenage girls do, it stopped being fun when it became work. I get that. But, I’d been wanting a vintage camper and I thought maybe this one would be mine.

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We talked back and forth and his daughter was willing to part with it, so I dubbed her “Joy” and took her out to the farm. And, as with many things ADULT girls do, life got really busy and she sat at the farm all this time...covered up and waiting for me. I kept her out there mainly because I wanted to give the appearance that someone was living there. Now that the farm will be sold soon, it was time to bring “Joy” home to the Ponderosa. 

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I still have dreams of fixing her up. I’m far more likely to do so if she’s close at hand. Even if I don’t, she’s mine.

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I’m back out at the farm after spending a day at the Ponderosa. Today is Mother’s Day, and...as much as I love my step-children and they love me, this is their mom’s day...not mine. I’ll get phone calls and that will be lovely. I told Mr. FixIt we would celebrate when this work is all finished at the farm. I remember Mother’s Days when the kids were growing up. There were so many times when I just wanted a few hours to myself to take an uninterrupted bubble bath and a nap. Now, I wish I could be with them. Daughter #1 will be here in June, so I’ll have my Mother’s Day then. And I’ll see Daughter #2 in September.

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I hope you have a good day today...you are loved.

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?

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““Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise),”

\nEphesians 6:2 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2021-05-09T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/05/09/joy-is-home.html", "tags": ["West Virginia","Comfort","Holiday","Be Joyful!","Healing"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/04/13/getting-back-in-the-out.html", "title": "Getting Back In the Out", "content_html": "\n
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We’ve talked a little bit here about the apprehension some people are having surrounding re-entry....getting back out into the world after a year of Covid. Now is not the time to totally let down our guard, even if we’ve been fully vaccinated. There are variants of the Covid virus out there that may bomb right through our newfound immunity. And, the vaccines are 95% effective. They’ll more than likely keep you from being hospitalized with a severe case, but you could still carry the vaccine to someone who is not vaccinated or is immunocompromised.

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That’s not the main problem, though. It’s more disconcerting to actually GO OUT simply because we’ve been IN. I’m am a solid ambivert. I love people, and I can be engaged and outgoing and fun at a party. AND...I need my alone time to recharge, I get anxious before social gatherings, and I have to weigh every decision heavily before I commit. There was a time, way back when I was first married to my second husband, that I actually became agoraphobic. I could go to work, come home, and go to the grocery store...but anything else became extremely uncomfortable and fear inducing.

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I got over it that time by reading a lot about it and following some recommendations...namely practicing desensitization. I forced myself to go do things that were out of my comfort zone until I worked my way up to spending a long weekend alone in a small cabin up in the mountains of Colorado. That was HUGE for me at the time. The winter of 2019-20 was really busy for me because that’s the year I had the Girl Camper Raffle Trailer and I was out and about all season. Then...Covid hit and I didn’t travel anywhere for months at a time.

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I found myself becoming fearful again of getting out on my own and I can’t have that. It doesn’t mesh with my lifestyle and it certainly doesn’t make me very happy to feel anxiety when I go to do something I know I’ve done a hundred times before. Taking a cue from the past, I’ve set out to doing things on my own a bit and yesterday was my first long outing in quite some time. I had a doctor’s appointment in the afternoon, then I took myself shopping and ran errands and had some lunch. I had a wonderful time and felt so much better when I got home.

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As I was driving around, I received a phone call from my dermatologist’s office. She removed a spot on my chest on 4/1 and they just received the pathology report. It was a place she’s frozen twice but it keeps coming back, and I swear...if it didn’t sit right where my seatbelt rubs, I probably would have let it go. In the end, we decided it was probably best to take it off and it’s a good thing. It turned out to be a squamous cell carcinoma. Skin cancer. The good news is, the pathologist said the margins were all clear meaning she got it all. She offered to have me come in and take some more just for good measure or we can just watch it heal and see how it looks. I elected to wait and watch.

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I was a sun worshiping fool. I’ve always been fair skinned and I was a devoted tanning bed user in my 30’s. I had to have a little color, right? Well, I’ve had melanoma and now squamous cell...the damage is done, but sunscreen is an absolute necessity. No negotiations there. It’s really hard to make younger women understand the real dangers of tanning beds and I think they should be outlawed...at least for younger women. Please be safe out there, cover up, and wear sunscreen. Someday, you’ll be glad you did!

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?

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“Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.””

\nDeuteronomy 31:6 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2021-04-13T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/04/13/getting-back-in-the-out.html", "tags": ["Health","Comfort","Control","Anxiety"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/04/02/coming-in-like-a-lion.html", "title": "Coming in Like a Lion", "content_html": "\n
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The first day of April gave us...snow! Not a lot. Not even a little. Just a smattering. Just enough to see Mother Nature snub her nose at us and remind us who’s boss. There were just a few scattered flakes when I left for town. My dermatologist took a little shave biopsy of a place on my chest that continues to bug me. She says it’s probably nothing. Of course, that’s what the doctor said when it turned out I had a melanoma, so I err on the side of biopsy. 

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Thirty-one years ago today, Daughter #2 was born. Like April, she came in like a lion and never changed. She is smart, beautiful, sensitive, talented, and much stronger than she gives herself credit for. Like many people who get a college degree, she ended up hating both the restaurant business and management. There wasn’t enough room for her to march to her own drum. She starts a new job next week after spending the pandemic year as a “house spouse” and she’s very excited. Knowing her as I do, there is also a small amount of trepidation “going back out there.”

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We’ve talked a little bit about the anxiety some people are experiencing as the pandemic slowly begins to fade out and they’re faced with being social again. If you look around at your family, friends, and acquaintances, you are bound to find some who really struggled with staying home and away from people. And you’re just as likely to find some who really seemed to thrive in all that aloneness. I’m kind of a combination personality...I’m an extroverted introvert. I love people AND I love my space and my freedom and a certain amount of alone time. 

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I knew as soon as we had our second vaccine and waited the required two weeks for full immunity, I would have to face the world again on the world’s terms. I also knew from past experience...in order to make that transition more palatable, I need to get out and do more things around people. A little...desensitization therapy. When I came out of the doctor’s office yesterday, my very first instinct was to jump in the truck and head home. Instead, I went to a coffee shop.

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As little as a month ago, I wouldn’t have considered going into a coffee shop and sitting down to read with a really great latte. It would mean taking off my mask...inside...with other people. Did I say INSIDE? Yikes! I pulled up out front and looked in. Ok, there weren’t a lot of people. I wore my double mask to order then took my warmed up cinnamon roll and coffee and found a chair off in the corner by the front window. If too many people came, I could make my escape.

\n\n\n

I looked down at that sweet treat on my plate and I knew it would just sit there and get cold if I didn’t hurry up and make a decision. I took off my mask, closed my eyes to thank God for scientists and vaccines, leaned back...and enjoyed the heck out of that experience! I read a few articles, answered a few texts, savored that cinnamon roll ever so slowly, and sipped my coffee. Good to the last drop!

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I love this particular coffee house. It’s owned by a woman who spend a great deal of time in Central America as a missionary. When she returned, she wanted to recreate the “bodega”...the central market where people gathered to shop, eat, and commune with each other. Hence...The Bodega was born. With Praise music playing in the background, I looked around at the people. A kind, rather zen fellow walked by and said, “I love your hair....the way you’re wearing it.” He and his lady friend went to a table in the window to drink their coffee and play chess. I’ve taken to wearing two long braids...like Pollyanna. I don’t know why...but I like the dichotomy of braids and grey hair. I don’t really “wear my age.” I wore leggings before leggings were cool. So, why not wear braids?

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There was a tutor working with a little boy. “I...do...not...LIKE.......green...eggs...and...ham!” He read with a clear voice and was immensely proud of himself. A woman sat down at a small table for two, with two drinks. She sat and sat, looking at her watch, staring at her phone. Finally she sighed, picked up the spare drink to take with her and threw her empty cup in the trash on her way out. A man and a woman worked on lesson plans for a class and a group of friends enjoyed lunch together talking with great animation...their hands waving in the air for emphasis.

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My friend Kathy from church texted me. I told her where I was. She said if I could wait thirty minutes, she’d come down to visit me. We had a long, lovely talk together. I hadn’t seen her to really sit and talk since this time last year. There was a lot to catch up on, and we reluctantly parted a full two hours later. We held hands and prayed together before we made our goodbyes. I love that. 

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I went on to run the rest of my errands and headed home, dinner in hand, to greet my sweetheart. He kept the home fires burning for me. Good thing, because it was darned cold! All told, I’d say my trip into the fray was a marked success. This will make the next trip easier and each successive one easier still. And soon, things will begin to feel more normal...even with the precautions we should continue to embrace till we get free of this captor. Soon, our chains will fall.

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?

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“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”

\nRomans 8:28 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2021-04-02T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/04/02/coming-in-like-a-lion.html", "tags": ["Comfort","Courage","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/03/29/in-the-still-of-the.html", "title": "In the Still of the Night", "content_html": "\n
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It rained so hard, it just poured over the gutters!

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The Covid Era has changed many things for Mr. FixIt and me. There have been big changes surrounding going to church and socializing and having the kids over. Those have been difficult. And, as is my tendency...I look for the silver linings and one of the best is our new bedtime routine. I’ve always excused myself to the bedroom to write while he watched his evening shows or a movie. When I’m finished writing and have my post scheduled, I chat with my son-in-law’s mom for a half hour or so to catch up. We got into that habit when she was going through chemo and radiation for breast cancer and now we feel weird if we don’t check in.

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I’m usually wrapping up my conversation with Sue when Mr. FixIt comes to bed. Then, he starts pulling up funny videos that we watch for another half hour or so till we are sleepy. I love that. We watch Keeping Up Appearances, mostly. It’s an old British sitcom and we just adore the characters. Hyacinth is an overbearing matronly woman who fancies herself some kind of socialite and wishes to rise in her circles by rubbing elbows with aristocracy. Her poor husband Richard has learned long ago to nod his head and “Yes, dear” his way through life. There are a variety of other characters and subplots, but the story is just about as simple as that. It’s great fun and there’s no foul language. I do kind of cringe at some of the situations Hyacinth gets herself into, but overall...it’s just good, clean fun.

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After Mr. FixIt gives me a kiss goodnight and turns off the light, I read my devotionals and drift off, maybe an hour or so later. In the wee small hours yesterday morning, I kept seeing a flash of light. I thought it might be this eye that’s been bothering me. The vitreous hasn’t finished detaching and I still get little flashes of light in it. Soon, I figured out what it was. The big, bad thunderstorm that was heading in from the south hit us with a vengeance. I watched the radar as the large bands of red marched over us and the sky opened like a waterfall.

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It wasn’t long till the new security system sent me an alert. I opened the camera to find what looked like a movie filmed from behind a waterfall. We got about a half inch of rain in just an hour or so and it just obliterated any real view of the driveway. I’m still trying to figure out the best settings for recording the motion events. Most often it’s the cat or the wind or a passing car that triggers the camera to record. I’ll get the hang of it.

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We have one of the tractors ready for mowing. I was under it holding a nut while Mr. FixIt tightened a bolt when I heard my stepdaughter pull in. It was a delight to sit around in the sunshine in chairs and still have a socially distanced visit. She and her fiancé dug up some forsythia and flowering quince shoots and some flowers to plant in her yard she brought my canning jars back empty. I sent some home with her...full. She brought us a bag of apples and a bag of potatoes. It feels so good to do normal things.

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I’ve been reading more and more stories about re-entry after social distancing and how it’s going to be a problem for some. I’ve been talking about this for a while. I have social anxiety. When I had that little raffle camper and had to get out and about and travel through much of that winter, I found my spring adjustment to being around others was much easier. Unfortunately, with the pandemic, I couldn’t do that as well and I’m working on getting myself back out there and socialize while still remaining safe.

\n\n\n

Social distancing really suits introverted and anxious people because nothing is expected of you. They’re the ones who found peace in the pandemic. I’m a real mix of introvert and extrovert. I love people...I love hugs and social contact...AND I love to spend time at home with Mr. FixIt and off on my own. As a matter of fact, I’m going to take a little break and head out to the farm this week for a few days. At least this time I don’t have to worry about getting quarantined out there, wondering if I was getting covid!  Ahhhh, the benefits of getting vaccinated....that little bit of security you feel knowing you have antibodies now. It’s wonderful and refreshing!

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?

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““You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.”

\nMatthew 5:14-16 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2021-03-29T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/03/29/in-the-still-of-the.html", "tags": ["West Virginia","Comfort","Farm Life"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/03/28/ramping-up-for-work.html", "title": "Ramping Up for Work", "content_html": "\n
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Oh, dear...what have we here???

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Well, as you might have expected, I’ve been resting and healing the last ten days or so since we returned from Florida and now I’m itching to get busy. Mr. FixIt is doing so much better than he was this time last year after the strokes. We are at a point where we are more confident and not walking on eggshells wondering if another stroke is eminent.. That’s not only a glorious feeling, but it sets us back on course to get some things done around the Ponderosa.

\n\n\n

We ran to town yesterday to get two more cameras for the surveillance system. I was looking on my cellphone for discount coupons at Harbor Freight while they were getting the cameras from the back. I stumbled upon an ad on their website showing the camera system we bought on Thursday went on sale Friday. Here’s something I didn’t know...Harbor Freight will discount your purchase if it was made within 30 days before a price is marked down, so we got our $30 knocked off the price of the two additional cameras. Good to know.

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We stopped by Lowe’s to pick up a few things. As I was walking toward the register, we came upon this poor man. Looking all the world like a casualty of some sort, we were greatly relieved to find his little quart of paint wasn’t sealed shut and it leaked all over him and the floor of the store. He said he could hardly wait to see the look on his wife’s face when she joined him in a few minutes. We all had a good laugh, but inside...I said a quick prayer of thanksgiving that this was not innocent blood spilled.

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We bought filters and oil to tune up the tractors as mowing season is around the corner. We bought paint to spruce up the end of the house where the old garage doors were when they converted the space to a family room. We bought a new storm door for that side of the house. And, we picked out new carpet for the family room. Right there is enough material to keep Mr. FixIt busy for a month and I can start downsizing and decluttering the house so we’ll be closer to selling.

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There’s always something going on around here. We have to make hay while the sun shines, you know. I was chatting with a friend as I wrote this. She and I both had previous marriages where we had money...MUCH more money than we have now. I think back over that previous life of mine from time to time. While I enjoyed home projects in those days, it was just as easy (and permissible) to call someone to do things for me. We’re much more careful about how we spend what we have now and I have to tell you...while I may not be as financially well off in this season of life, my standard of living is much more satisfying. 

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What is your standard of living anyway if not the comfort available to a person? It took me a long time to learn getting back to my roots would bring me great wealth...in my heart, mind, and spirit. I couldn’t ask for more.

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?

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“Sing for joy, O heavens, and exult, O earth; break forth, O mountains, into singing! For the Lord has comforted his people and will have compassion on his afflicted.”

\nIsaiah 49:13 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2021-03-28T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/03/28/ramping-up-for-work.html", "tags": ["Comfort","Peace","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/03/07/day-the-ups-downs-of.html", "title": "Day 356: The Ups \u0026 Downs of Travel", "content_html": "\n
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The View from Fancy Gap, VA Looking Out Over NC

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This feels pretty normal. Well, if you call still wearing an N95 mask and carrying your own cleaning supplies with you to go over the hotel room when you arrive...normal. The drive was the same as always. We popped a frozen container of my homemade beef and noodles in the HotLogic Mini and plugged in into the converter, then plugged the converter in one of the 12v outlets in the truck. Four hours later, when we stopped for gas, we pulled it out and had a nice hot home cooked meal. SO good and so much better for you than fast food.

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I love coming over Fancy Gap. I remember the first time I ever drove this mountain. A friend and I were heading to Myrtle Beach pulling TOW-Wanda and it was raining cats and dogs. The fog was so thick you could hardly see the end of the hood of my truck. I followed the tail lights of the semi in front of my in order to get over the mountain. THAT was a trip!

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The weather was cool and the sunshine was bright. The traffic wasn’t bad at all, even driving through Charlotte at rush hour. That’s what happens when you travel on Saturday. We got a good rate on a room at a Comfort Inn. It isn’t crowded at all. Surprisingly, people are wearing masks. As a matter of fact, other than those in their cars, EVERYONE wore masks. Maybe they’re not falling for this “open everything up everywhere” nonsense. I hope not, because...we’ve seen this movie before and it doesn’t end well.

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I love staying in a hotel. And honestly, it’s not a big deal to strip the bed and put your own mattress cover on it. We used the sheets that were on the bed, but left the thin, sheet like coverlet pulled down. We also used a new antibacterial fabric spray that Tide came out with, so I think we’re good. The only downside is, Mr. FixIt and his TV. Normally in the evenings at our house, I watch the news with him, and maybe an episode or two of The Big Bang, then I’m off to the bedroom to write. But when you’re in a hotel room, there’s no escaping that noise. We worked out a compromise. He watched Indiana Jones...a movie he’s seen a dozen times so he didn’t have to have the sound up too far. And, I had my headphones on with my “writing background”....a thunderstorm. It’s all about give and take in a relationship.

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Day one....done!

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?

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“God will command his angels to protect you wherever you go. They will carry you in their arms, and you won't hurt your feet on the stones. You will overpower the strongest lions and the most deadly snakes.”

\nPsalms 91:11-13 CEV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2021-03-07T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/03/07/day-the-ups-downs-of.html", "tags": ["Travel","Fun","Comfort","Courage","Road Trip"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/02/06/day-this-is-the-night.html", "title": "Day 327: This is the Night the Lord Hath Made", "content_html": "\n
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The last few days, we’ve been talking about feeling stretched thin, feeling frayed and frazzled, overwhelmed with the nature of the world we find ourselves currently living in. Changes have been thrust upon us and not all of us accommodate as easily as others. I am sure we would be hard pressed to find someone who has not been affected in some negative way by the events of the last year. 

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I always put my money where my mouth is, so I looked up some of the links in yesterday’s post. I read about combatting stress and weathering this particular storm. Then I did what I always do...I went to my inner sanctuary...my quiet space of meditation where I commune with God on a personal level. This is where we sit together...sometimes in quiet companionable silence...sometime in vibrant, dynamic discourse. 

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These sessions all start out the same way. I get quiet. I find that stillness between my breath and my heart beat, and reach my mind out to God. He knows what I want...what I need. Far better than I. So, I find it quicker and easier to get to the point by just shutting up and listening to the lesson of the day.

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As I sat there, eyes closed, breathing slow and deep, I became acutely aware of my body’s aches and pains. I felt the tension I hold between my shoulder blades...what my masseuse in Colorado referred to as my “trying too hard” spots. I felt bone weary...as though I’d run a marathon. Thoughts flitted by. “Why can’t I sleep better???” “When is this going to get easier???” “Why don’t I know how to do this by now???”

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Within that space...a thought formed.

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“This is the night the Lord hath made! Let us rejoice and be glad in it!!!”

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“No” I said. “You mean this is the DAY you have made!”

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“No...I mean this is the night. The day has two parts....I divided it in half. Part for work, part for rest.”

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“But, I can’t sleep! I have never been able to sleep well...you know that.”

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“Ahhhhh, yes....I do. But, you’ve never celebrated my gift of the night. You dread it. You are afraid of the nightmares you might have. Or the anxiety that might come. Or the hours you might have to lay there...staring at the ceiling.”

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“I want to sleep. I try! I really do.”

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“Then stop TRYING. And celebrate the hours I gave you for resting.”

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Novel concept. I closed my eyes. I felt my face against the pillowcase. I wrapped up in my soft, fuzzy blanket and touched it to my lips. I repeated over and over in my mind. 

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“This is the night the Lord hath made. This is the night the Lord hath made. This is the night the Lord hath made.”

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And I woke up at 11:30 yesterday morning! Good night, nurse!!! I haven’t slept like that in....I can’t remember how long. I jumped up and went into the family room.

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“Hey there, sleepyhead. How you doing?”

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“What day is this?”

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Mr. FixIt laughed. “Friday. I thought you must be tired so I let you sleep.”

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Honestly? I felt like a new person. We got ready and went to town for a couple things. I started making arrangements for the trip to Florida next month. And I feel like a million bucks! I feel like I had a vacation. It was a remarkable different.

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God gives us the days to do our deeds. But he gives us the gift of the night as our time to celebrate hours of sweet rest and slumber. I plan to approach every night in that same way...delicious anticipation of dreamless sleep...awakening refreshed and at peace. Doesn’t that sound lovely?

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?

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“This day belongs to the Lord! Let's celebrate and be glad today.”

\nPsalms 118:24 CEV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2021-02-06T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/02/06/day-this-is-the-night.html", "tags": ["Faith","Health","Gratitude","Comfort","God","Choices","Insight"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/01/29/day-my-wish-came-true.html", "title": "Day 319: My Wish Came True", "content_html": "\n
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I’m a much simpler, less demanding, uncomplicated woman than I used to be. I’m highly flexible, if not terribly patient. When I first came to live at the Ponderosa, one of the first things I noticed was how difficult it was to wash dishes with the faucet that was on the kitchen sink.  It was exceedingly low, and it had one of those water filter attachments. It was terribly cumbersome and I just hated it. 

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That was over three years ago. There have been many times I’ve asked if we couldn’t PLEASE get a new faucet. Mr. FixIt assured me he had a great one...out in the building...that he’d been meaning to put on there. But, there’s always something else that needs doing or someplace else that’s more fun than being home so it’s never been a huge priority. The only time it really gets to me is when I’m doing something big, like canning or cooking for a crowd. I knew it would get done one of these days.

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Last week, my sweetheart found the replacement faucet he was going to use, only to discover several of the parts had gone missing over the years. We went to Lowe’s and they had the entire display torn up, but we scrounged around and I found one I liked. Mr. FixIt wanted to get me one of those foofy faucets with the sprayer that pulls out of the end and the touch control, but I told him...really, I’m not that complicated. It doesn’t have to be fancy...just tall!

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We got the new faucet home and the next morning, he got into the box and wouldn’t you know it...there were pieces missing out of that one, too! Argh! Ok, I went online, picked the exact one I wanted, and he had to order it from Charleston...but it arrived on Tuesday with all the pieces. I was busy Wednesday, so yesterday morning after breakfast, Mr. FixIt turned off the TV and picked up the faucet and his tools and went to work.

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It has been decades since any work has been done on the plumbing under that sink. The shut-off valves were frozen, so we had to turn the main water supply off. Then, it took both of us under the kitchen sink...him in one cabinet, me in the other...to get the connections loosened and off so he could go to town and get two new shutoff valves. Once that was done, putting everything back together was fairly easy. I had to stand up top and hold everything in place while he went underneath and tightened the connections. And, before we knew it...mama had a new faucet! It’s the little things now.

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Since I finished the website transfer, my next item on the list was banking. For those of you who have been reading me from the beginning, you know that every single year, I leave balancing my checkbook on Quicken till the very last minute before doing taxes. Then I end up pulling my hair out for three days trying to download software updates and entering a whole year’s worth of downloaded transactions from the bank into Quicken. Not this year! I got everything downloaded yesterday and balanced to the penny, I might add!

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It feels good to check things off the list. The breast ultrasound came back normal. What they were looking at is actually smaller after three months and most assuredly benign. I worked on my Ancestry a little bit last night. That was something I truly enjoyed doing when Mr. Virgo was living. I worked on it while he watched TV. I spent a couple of hours on it last night while my sweetheart watched his shows and it was such a nice treat. It’s honestly the first time I’ve been able to sit down and work on it since Mr. Virgo died...and it didn’t bother me a bit.

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Wounds heal after time. Scars remain, but even their pain recedes with the right “medicine.” It was a busy and productive day...and a fun, relaxing evening. I’ve lived the last several years wondering when the next horrifying thing was going to happen. Yesterday, I asked a friend of mine... “Is this what normal feels like?” It’s been so long since I could breathe and let my guard down...but I’m loving this feeling of peace and contentment.

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?

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“I pray that the Lord, who gives peace, will always bless you with peace. May the Lord be with all of you.”

\n2 Thessalonians 3:16 CEV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2021-01-29T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/01/29/day-my-wish-came-true.html", "tags": ["Comfort","Peaceful Moments","Farm Life"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/01/13/day-in-a-frenzy.html", "title": "Day 304: In a Frenzy", "content_html": "\n
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I’ve been transcribing my posts from Facebook over to my website for what seems like a decade now. Actually, I started copying them over in January 2017...not that long ago really. My son-in-law and I sat for a full day in December of 2016 and created this website. Since then, every time I write a post, there’s been a link from Facebook to the website and that’s where the bulk of my writing sits. Yesterday, I crossed into March 2016 so I only have about eight months of blog posts left to copy.

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There are some really good reasons I’m pushing this. With the social climate being what it is today, I want to protect my writing in case anything happens to FB. I’ve put my heart and soul into my words and it would be heartbreaking to lose a big chunk of it. And no, I don’t have it backed up other than the backup you do on FB. And that isn’t easily accessed. And, I have other projects I want to do but I’m committed to finishing this one first.

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As I sit and copy/paste, I scan my posts for grammatical errors and content. Any time I go back and reread my earlier writings, I am humbled that I have come this far, that I have the life I have today, and that my heart has experienced so much healing. It’s also interesting to see myself navigating what used to be time-bombs that tore me to shreds. I suppose that is the nature of healing. You know the hole is still there...you just know how to navigate around it and keep from falling in.

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That doesn’t mean revisiting is without effect. It kinda wears me out. I’ve taken more naps since I started the big push to transcribe my past. I think my mind and body just need a break from it...not every day, but certainly more often than usual. Add to that, sitting in one place for hours and Mr. FixIt having the TV on and I’m at the point where I want this done already. I have it down to a science now, though and I can get through a whole month in 2-3 days. If I keep up this pace, I could be finished in three weeks or so. That would be a great relief.

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I think I’ll feel a great deal of personal satisfaction when I get the whole thing done. Maybe there will be some way of calculating how many words I have written all together. Boy, that would be something. Those of you who’ve been following me from the beginning know...I’m a talker. I’ve been writing this blog for eight years now. I started it the first week of January 2013. Every year, I ask myself if I’m done. Am I still contributing anything? I know I’ve had people say they weren’t going to follow me anymore because I seem to have lost my focus. Well, I’ll be the first to admit...my focus was on grief and death and healing from it all. When the healing started, there came the inevitable shift in my writing. 

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I think what I do now is a testament to the resiliency of a broken heart. A demonstration that, no matter what comes your way, you can find strength and comfort with God at your center. A creative outlet for my myriad stories and insights and rants. Like letters from Mom. Or a nice cup of tea on a rainy afternoon...a cozy blanket and a few nice words. I like to think our time over coffee in the mornings is still of some service to you, and I’ll continue as long as God brings me words to say...and folks to read them.

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?

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“Our Lord, we belong to you. We tell you what worries us, and you won't let us fall.”

\nPsalms 55:22 CEV\n
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#Resilience, #Faith, #Grief, #Life

\n\n", "date_published": "2021-01-13T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/01/13/day-in-a-frenzy.html", "tags": ["Grief","Gratitude","Comfort","Writing"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/01/10/day-give-us-this-day.html", "title": "Day 300: Give Us This Day Our Daily Bread", "content_html": "\n
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Zuppa Toscana

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Oy...it’s been a long time since our lives changed. It seems like three hundred YEARS already. I’m trying to make some changes and put some structure back in my life. I’m having a problem with my days and nights being mixed up. I go to sleep later and later and get up later and later. Yesterday morning, I woke up, took a cursory glance at my phone to see what time it was...7:23am. I turned over and went back to sleep because it was probably 4:00 before I even settled down to sleep in the first place. The next time I look at my phone, it was 1:37 in the afternoon! Good grief!

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I got up and padded into the living room, my hair all tousled, and Mr. FixIt smiled. 

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“Good morning, sleepyhead!”

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“You mean, good afternoon!”

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I made my coffee and toasted a bagel and sat cross legged in my super duper new recliner.

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“Anything new in the world?”

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My sweet husband just stared at me with that curious grin.

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I felt like Sleeping Beauty...just not quite as beautiful.

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I pulled my fur throw over me, set my laptop on my nifty little lap desk, and continued copying my posts from Facebook to my blog. I have now entered the beginning of 2016. A lot happened in that year, so I’m really looking forward to reading as I copy over. That’s the year I lived at the river, took my camper everywhere, visited Colorado three times, worked out like crazy and got really fit, went to my 45th High School Reunion, moved into my grandma’s farmhouse, and by the end of the year, started dating Mr. FixIt. I just have a few month’s worth of writing to copy over then I’m done with this HUGE project I started in December of that year!

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As the world simmers on a hot plate of violence, I am turning inward and putting my focus on what I can control. I’m not saying I’m ignoring what’s going on because I’m definitely not. But there are so many other places where the ugliness is the focus. I admit, I dipped a toe in that from time to time over the last year. It isn’t helpful here because that’s not what we’re....I’M...here for. I’m here for the respite from the harsh parts of life.

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I’m sure I’ll be focusing on a lot more recipes, and projects, and stories and a lot less on what’s going on outside my door. Maybe that’s good for you, too. In the meantime, I’ll share the best soup recipe in the world!

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The other night, Mr. FixIt wanted Potato Soup. My mom used to make really good potato soup. I never have quite gotten the hang of it. I told my sweetheart, what I was really craving was Zuppa Toscana from Olive Garden. His eyes lit up. I told him I was sure I could find a copycat recipe and sure enough, I found one that is very nearly identical but with a lot less sodium!

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You can find the recipe for this amazingly great soup HERE.  

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I cut back on the red pepper flakes to only one teaspoon and I added a couple of tablespoons of Wondra Flour to the cream before I added it to thicken the broth a little. When I make it again, I’ll add a little more flour as it wasn’t quite as thick as I wanted. This recipe made enough for three meals for the two of us...one of which Mr. FixIt had a second helping. As with many soups, it tastes even better the second day. Add a tossed salad and breadsticks and you’d be hard pressed to think you weren’t sitting in that famous restaurant in town!

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?

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“Give us this day our daily bread.”

\nMatthew 6:11 KJV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2021-01-10T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/01/10/day-give-us-this-day.html", "tags": ["Comfort","Cooking","In the Kitchen"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/12/27/day-wrapped-up-warm.html", "title": "Day 286: Wrapped Up \u0026 Warm", "content_html": "\n
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As soon as Christmas was over, I told Mr. FixIt we need a little down time. There are things that need doing in the coming weeks, but right now there is nothing more pressing than fixing a meal every day, knitting, and maybe watching a movie or taking a nap. I love Christmas, but I love the week after just as much. 

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If you’ve been around here long, you know about my fur coat. In 2007, Mr. Virgo bought me a full length Icelandic Blue Fox fur coat. We lived near Aspen and spent a good deal of time there. As a matter of fact, when I first started dating him, Mr. Virgo lived in Snowmass so I was up there a lot. Winter in Aspen is truly magical and wandering town in the snow was a cold proposition. I mentioned how cold I was one day. The following winter, this baby was under the tree. 

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I know...I was torn, too. I mean, PETA and fur and controversy versus being that warm and toasty? Warmth won me over and I wore that thing to the grocery store....everywhere. I didn’t care...it was the warmest I’d ever been in the winters of Colorado. I continued to wear it, even after Mr. Virgo died. But one winter, I wore it to the Winter Concert at my granddaughter’s grade school. It was one of the poorest inner city schools in the area and I was embarrassed. I even wadded it up and sat on it during the concert.

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The following year, I moved to West Virginia. There aren’t too many places you can wear a coat like that in the Mountain State. I wore it to coffee once when I met my high school girlfriends. They all had fun trying on the coat and having their picture taken, but I soon felt the coat just wasn’t “me” anymore. That’s when I had my friend Ginny cut off the top of it and turn it into a throw for the bed on my camper.

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I’ve dragged this thing around with me all over the country. It has comforted me when I was grieving. It has kept me warm around the campfire with I travel with my camping girlfriends. The last big camping trip I took in the fall of 2019 with the Girl Camper Raffle Trailer, the lining started coming out so I carefully folded it and draped it over the back of the loveseat in the family room.

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Since we had a White Christmas, the daytime temperatures haven’t been above freezing. And, since my entire goal yesterday was to sit in my new recliner and knit with some yarn my dear friend Gail sent me, I decided I’d be much warmer with my fur thrown over my lap. I gathered up what I needed and stitched the loose life of the lining and before long, I was snug as a bug in a rug...knitting away and watching football as Mr. FixIt snoozed off and on throughout the afternoon. 

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It was such a cozy feeling...kind of like loving bookends. I am so incredibly blessed to have such thoughtful men in my life...be they present in memory or in the recliner across the room. I couldn’t have been happier, feet propped up, a lovely fur across my lap, the sun bright on the new fallen snow, knitting and listening to the soft, steady breathing of my sweetheart. The dichotomy between now and just five years ago is stark. I remember the darkness so vividly...which is why the light is so remarkable. It continually surprises me and I try very hard not to take a moment of it for granted.

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?

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“So I never stop being grateful for you, as I mention you in my prayers.”

\nEphesians 1:16 CEV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-12-27T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/12/27/day-wrapped-up-warm.html", "tags": ["Gratitude","Comfort","Love","Memories","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/12/26/day-a-surprising-day-of.html", "title": "Day 285: A Surprising Day of Gratitude", "content_html": "\n
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I was dreading Christmas. I haven’t seen my Colorado peeps in nearly 17 months. I haven’t held my great grandbabies since February...one was only a few weeks old the last time I held him. Now he’s nearly a year old and almost walking. After a year of fear...from strokes to covid  to politics...I was just not up for it. Then, something interesting happened.

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Mr. FixIt and I went to town Wednesday evening to get some last minute grocery items because snow was coming. Earlier in the day, Daughter #2 called to say she’d been exposed to Covid and was now sick and waiting for test results. My dear friend’s dad had just had open heart surgery and they had to rush her mom to the hospital. I was frustrated that I couldn’t be everywhere I felt I was needed and I was not being a very nice human because of it.

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We stopped at our favorite little neighborhood grocery...Aldi...and checked items off the list as we put them in the cart. I needed some Half & Half and walked around the corner and ran right smack dab into a cloud of Mr. Virgo’s signature Halston No.10. My knees went weak. I turned and looked in every direction...there was no one nearby. I glanced at the shelves...no scented soaps or perfumes or candles. No reason...just an overwhelming cloud of HIM.

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I was emotional anyway. I bent over and took a few deep breaths to keep from crying. It shocked me...because, this was the eighth Christmas without him, I’m happily remarried, and...well, I have a good life. Then I realized...he’ll always be here because he is a part of who I am...a part of my story...a part of my heart. That takes nothing away from Mr. FixIt. It only adds to my ability to love.

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We went on and finished our shopping and headed home. It was clouding up, getting ready to rain, when I looked to my right and...there was the Christmas Star! We didn’t get to see it when it was at its closest, but we got to see it! I suddenly felt my shoulders relax. I just felt him say to me...

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“You’re ok. Your people are ok. Just calm down...it’ll all work out.”

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I reached over and took Mr. FixIt’s hand and gave it a squeeze. I told him Mr. Virgo came to visit me in the store. We talked about how hard it is to lose those people you love. He held my hand as we drove home. 

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Christmas wasn’t the same...but in some really weird ways, it was better. I didn’t run myself ragged making sure twenty-five people were happy and fed and clothed and overindulged. I didn’t work sixteen hours only to watch a table full of food devoured in fifteen minutes. (Not that I mind that...but it’s exhausting!) I didn’t break the bank. And...through the thoughtful gift from Daughter #1, I was able to sit and see them and talk with them all on Christmas Day. I called the others I couldn’t see. And I thanked God for all of my many, many blessings....the biggest of which was in the form of a tiny baby wrapped in swaddling cloth and laid in a manger all those many years ago.

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It turned out to be a very soft, quiet, and WHITE Christmas with about five inches of new snow blanketing the Ponderosa. The new snowblower worked perfectly. Everyone sent pictures of their day. 

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And, that’s a wrap for Christmas 2020. Not as bad as it could have been...better than some.

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?

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“Always be joyful and never stop praying. Whatever happens, keep thanking God because of Jesus Christ. This is what God wants you to do.”

\n1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 CEV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-12-26T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/12/26/day-a-surprising-day-of.html", "tags": ["Family","Gratitude","Comfort"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/12/22/day-winter-solsticehere-comes-the.html", "title": "Day 283: Winter Solstice...Here Comes the Sun!", "content_html": "\n
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We just went through the longest, darkest night of the longest darkest year. I always look forward to December 22nd as the beginning. It symbolizes the gradual...way TOO gradual...lengthening of the days. It won’t be too long till we’ll start noticing the sun setting a little later week by week. This day, and March 17th for some reason, are always days filled with hope and joy and promise.

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I’m trying hard not to look at all the reasons to be sad this year, but it isn’t easy. Hearing all the tragic storied surrounding the spread of the Coronavirus and the inability of the medical community to keep up is just staggering. Coming on the heels of those reports are stories of the impending holiday with its travel and traditional gatherings that people just will not give up. The storm will surge again and again. We simply must make sacrifices for the effort for the common good. As I tell my family...it isn’t forever. It’s just for now.

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Daughter #1 has been dropping hints regarding our Christmas present this year. She says it’s something I want. Something I discussed in a recent conversation. And I don’t have to go out and buy one now. I think I know what it is, but I’m not saying out loud. Mr. FixIt and I decided not to exchange gifts this year because we just bought the new recliners and a new microwave. And, he gave me an antique gold wedding band to replace the one that won’t go over my swollen knuckles. We received some beautiful handmade gifts from my step-daughter this weekend. There will be a few other things. Neighbors have brought cookies. And the former Mrs. FixIt gifted us a huge cookie tray with magnificent treats in it. So, we’re set. But, if the gift from my daughter is what I think it is, it’s going to be such a delight!

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Hubby #2 and I got married on this day, forty-one years ago. He was in his first year of medical school and we were poor as church mice. We got married at home with a couple dozen friends attending. We ate and drank and danced the night away. And we celebrated all the joyful days we had in front of us...as lovers always do when they marry. As it turned out, we did have many years of joy...and just as many that were dark and difficult...as often happens when lovers marry young. This day still holds that hope for a brighter tomorrow for me...no matter what else had happened on the date in the past.

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One of our local grands sent me pictures of our great grandson opening his Christmas presents from us this weekend. We decided it was imperative the cinnamon rolls will still need to be made this week and delivered before Christmas Eve! Mr. FixIt and I want to go for a long drive and see the Christmas lights so I’ll make them, package them up, and deliver them while we are out and about. We’ll be Mr. and Mrs. Santa Claus!

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??????

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“As long as the earth remains, there will be planting and harvest, cold and heat; winter and summer, day and night.”

\nGenesis 8:22 CEV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-12-22T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/12/22/day-winter-solsticehere-comes-the.html", "tags": ["Family","Hope","Comfort","Holiday","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/12/21/day-ill-be-at-home.html", "title": "Day 282: I’ll Be (at) Home for Christmas...You’re Always in my Dreams", "content_html": "\n
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I have been in a whirlwind the last couple of weeks, as I’m sure you all have been as well. Shopping, wrapping, baking...and baking...and baking some more. Along with the baking comes a little nibbling here and there. Hey, it’s called quality control, right? It is really not a problem till your body puts on the brakes and says, “Whoa, lady! What the heck are you trying to do to me???” Yeah...that was me yesterday morning.

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I’ve been sleeping well the last week...mostly out of sheer exhaustion, I’m sure. But Saturday was one of those toss and turn nights. When I finally got to sleep in the wee hours of the morning, it wasn’t long till I jerked awake suddenly at a strange sound. I sat up and looked around the room. There was sweet Mr. FixIt....sound asleep...and singing away! I shushed him and he just kept right on singing. I smiled to myself. Whatever he was dreaming, he was sure having fun. I shook him gently and he rolled over. I laid back down, but sleep was over.

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I got up and padded into the kitchen to start my coffee and sat down to read the news. You know, there’s a lot in the news this year that is upsetting for the strongest at heart. As I said in my post yesterday, I’ve been feeling the strain of the year in not seeing my loved ones like I want to. Between that, and the virus, and the news...and overdosing on sweets...I just felt sick. I had nothing pressing that needed to be done, so I ended up laying back down after Mr. FixIt got up. 

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Sometimes a little self care is all you need to get yourself back on track. As I laid there, having my conversation with Jesus, I was reminded I could look at this in two ways. I could see the coming weeks with trepidation and fear of the unknown. Or, I could look forward to the joy after the trials and tribulations that come with life. I chose joy, pulled the covers up around my chin, and closed my eyes.

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My step-daughter and her boyfriend came over in the late afternoon to exchange gifts. At first we had a fire, but it started drizzling. So, we sat on the front porch with the propane heater running and had a lovely visit as a misty, gray rain fell. It was so nice to see them. We sent the gifts for the grandkids and their babies and will look forward to a socially distanced visit somewhere down the line. 

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No, this Christmas doesn’t look anything like holidays past. But, if we are healthy, happy, and have many joyful times ahead to look forward to...together...we can make it through this. We are doing our part to try to flatten the curve and give the front line workers a break. I know, we’re all tired of this. But, we must keep calm and carry on. We have a personal responsibility to do everything we can to protect each other and bring these numbers DOWN.

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Stay home. This is our gift to humanity.

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“I’ll be home for Christmas...if only in my dreams.”

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?

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“The true light that shines on everyone was coming into the world.”

\nJohn 1:9 CEV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-12-21T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/12/21/day-ill-be-at-home.html", "tags": ["Health","Comfort","Holiday","Baking","In the Kitchen"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/12/18/day-be-careful-what-you.html", "title": "Day 279: Be Careful What You Wish For", "content_html": "\n
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I was browsing photos in a Facebook Group I belong to the other day. It was one of those “You Might Be From __________ If...” pages. People post stories and photos. There are a precious few of the “old guard” who grew up and know those pictured. But there are far more who come on and say... “Does anyone recognize the people in this photo?” Those are the sad ones because the elders are dying off without labeling the photos or teaching the young’uns who were in them.

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My grandma was pretty good about writing the names of folks on the back with the stub of a pencil, most likely whittled to a point with my PopPop’s pen knife. This particular photo caught my eye because I’ve seen it all my life. It’s the old one room schoolhouse that was a couple of miles from the farm. My mom and one of her brothers are in that photo and I smiled at the memories that came rushing back to me.

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We have that photo somewhere in the family archives, and now, thanks to modern technology, I have it safely ensconced in my iPad and the Cloud. I can still see Grandma in her rocking chair by the front window, looking through her “picture book” and walking down memory lane. She would point and name everyone, then tell a story or share their nickname. Everyone had a nickname. Just yesterday, my baby cousin asked me what Grandma’s name was for me. I was “Ginny Lynny” or just “Pet”. She was “Trinket”. 

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This particular photo was taken shortly after the Great Depression. I want to say it was around 1936-37, judging by the size of my mom and her brother. When Grandma saw pictures like this, she shared with me the hard stories. Stories of struggles and just trying to get by. She would tear up when she said their milk cow was the only thing standing between her children living or dying of starvation. They never wasted a thing. Shoes were resoled at home because there wasn’t money for a cobbler. Clothes were sewn from flour sacks and mended and handed down. Grandma had a baby every two years till she nearly died after the last one and they saved her life with an emergency hysterectomy.

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It was right around this time when Grandma and PopPop managed to scrape enough money together to buy the farm that I still take care of. When they moved down off the hill into that house, Grandma said she felt like a queen in a castle! She didn’t have running water or an indoor bathroom for twenty more years. They had an old wringer washer with a hit and miss engine out on the back porch. My earliest memories are of Grandma carrying buckets of rainwater she heated on the stove and pouring it in the washer. 

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She used lye she made from ashes and mixed it with rendered fat from butchering to make soap that was used for everything. Wash was done once a week. You started with the delicates when the water was still clean and soft and you ended with work clothes. PopPop worked in the pipe yard on old oil and gas well pipe and parts. He was always sticky and stinky with black creosote and a hard day’s sweat when he got home. Those work clothes had to be boiled and scrubbed on a washboard by hand to get the most of the grease out of them. I remember they were always an army green or khaki color.

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Once the clothes were as clean as they were going to get, Grandma used the rinse water to scrub the floors of the house and the last bit was thrown out on the porch and worked with a broom to get what mud they could off the steps. It was a hard life she lived, working from sunup to sundown doing as much hard work as any man, then mending clothes and sewing on buttons at night after supper. 

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I look at that picture of my mom as a little girl, and I’m humbled. The “going back in time” I get to do at the farm at my age is a walk in the park compared to actually living the life they lived. You hear people say “It was a simpler time.” Simpler? Be careful what you wish for. Simpler in those day meant they didn’t have the time sucks we have now. They didn’t have TV and computers. They were lucky to see a newspaper or a magazine. They didn’t know what was happening in Asia or the Middle East or Africa unless a missionary happened to be traveling through trying to raise a little money for an orphanage somewhere. However, their lives consisted of hard work and more than their fair share of sadness. And fortunately, I come from the kind of people whose glasses were always full to overflowing and I heard of all the goodness of life.

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What are we giving our children’s children’s children to know about those who came before us? What are we handing down from our great grandparents’ days? What are we teaching them about long lost skills like growing our own food and preserving it or making our own clothes and tools? Part of the purpose of this blog is sharing the past along with the stories of the present. You’ve followed along in my grief journey after losing Mr. Virgo. You’ve been here for the adventures in the camper and traveling the country as a widow trying to heal my broken heart, one campfire at a time. You shared in my joy when I found love again with my best friend from high school and remarried. Interspersed with all these events are the stories of my roots. I share them with you here because many of you grew up with similar lives and they spark your own memories. Some of you couldn’t dream of living such a life and it’s like reading a history book. So, why do I share so much of myself and my family’s history?

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Because...one day, I’ll be dead and gone, and my grandchildren and their grandchildren’s children will read these stories and know from whence they came. I don’t have great material wealth to leave to my family...to the world. All I have are my experiences and my knowledge and my wisdom...the lessons I’ve learned along the way.

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I’m the storyteller.

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?

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“Love should always make us tell the truth. Then we will grow in every way and be more like Christ, the head of the body. Christ holds it together and makes all of its parts work perfectly, as it grows and becomes strong because of love.”

\nEphesians 4:15-16 CEV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-12-18T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/12/18/day-be-careful-what-you.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Strong Women","West Virginia","The Farm","Comfort","Wisdom","Aging","Farm Life","Memories"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/12/17/day-baking-down-memory-lanegrandmas.html", "title": "Day 278: Baking Down Memory Lane...Grandma’s Raisin Filled Cookies", "content_html": "\n
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From as early as I can remember, I was in the kitchen making something. Out of necessity, I learned to cook the meals at home when I was still in grade school. Mom was...ummmm....challenged in the kitchen, as it were. Her culinary concoctions were enough to make me beg her to let me go to the cooking school for kids at our local community center one summer. Things were much better around the table at our house after that.

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As with many of us, this challenging year has driven me back to the kitchen and to my roots. As I was preparing to bake cookies this week, I was reminded of Grandma’s favorite cookie. She made a huge batch of Raisin Filled Cookies whenever my Uncle Bud and his family came to the farm for a visit. My uncle would whisk in, wrap his mom in a big bear hug, and reach around her for a handful of these delectably soft cookies before he headed back out the door to empty the car.

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My uncle lost his wife a couple of years ago, then continued to care for his sister...my Aunt Peeps...till she finally had to go into a nursing home. My aunt passed away this summer, and Uncle Bud has been on his own for the first time in his life. He was one of those men who honestly didn’t know his way around a kitchen. Aunt Viv was a stay-at-home mom and always took care of everything. As I went through my list of cookies I like to make, I thought of my uncle alone up on that mountain and decided I’d make Raisin Filled Cookies for him.

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These were never my favorite cookie. Grandma always used black walnuts in them because that’s what she had available. Back then, you used what you could produce on the farm and we had vast woods around us. My Uncle Bob would gather walnuts every fall...rubbing the husks off them till his hands were stained brown. They were like that for months. Then, in the winter, Bob would crack the walnuts and Grandma would pick the nut meats out and freeze them for use throughout the year.

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Black walnuts make my mouth sore when I eat them. I get blisters and I really don’t like the flavor as they’re quite strong. I called my uncle yesterday and told him I didn’t have walnuts and would pecans be ok. He said he actually preferred pecans, so pecans it was. I cooked the raisin filling and after the news, I made the dough. I ran out of dough and still had three to four cups of the filling left so I may make some Raisin Bar Cookies today.

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I was really pleased with the recipe, but they were much sweeter than I remember my grandma’s to be. She was pretty frugal with her ingredients. Even though they’re a little labor intensive, I think they were well worth the effort and I’ll make them again. The sourdough starter is well fed and bubbling so I’m going to make the dough today and bake it tomorrow.

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You can get the recipe for the Raisin Filled Cookies HERE.

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“Get a large bowl. Then mix together wheat, barley, beans, lentils, and millet, and make some bread. This is what you will eat for the 390 days you are lying down.”

\nEzekiel 4:9 CEV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-12-17T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/12/17/day-baking-down-memory-lanegrandmas.html", "tags": ["Family","Comfort","Holiday","Farm Life","Baking","Cooking","In the Kitchen"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/12/12/day-in-the-kitchenagain.html", "title": "Day 273: In the Kitchen...Again!", "content_html": "\n
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I couldn’t wait to get into the kitchen yesterday and start baking. I really thought I’d get more done than I did, but I was happy with the results. I decided to make the Appalachian Gingerbread I saw on YouTube. Actually, the video was originally posted on TikTok. I don’t know if you’ve seen many TikTok videos, but they are only sixty seconds long. Try to recite an entire recipe along with the video in just sixty seconds. She talks really, really fast! But, I was determined. 

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The first thing I did was sit down with my iPad and watch the video several times to make sure I got the gist of it. My friend Lynn actually managed to grab a screenshot of the recipe at the end of the video. As with many Appalachian cooks, the recipe wasn’t exactly word for word like the one in the video. I learned hot to cook in my grandma’s country kitchen so I am well versed in the “dab of this and dab of that” method of recipe interpretation. I added the sour cream they mentioned in the video, and used the buttermilk they mentioned in the recipe. And, I threw my own touch in and used butter instead of shortening or lard and added a teaspoon of salt for good measure.

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As often happens with making a new recipe, the results didn’t look exactly like theirs. They said the gingerbread was done when the surface cracked but mine didn’t. It also didn’t rise as much as theirs did, but it was really quite good. The recipe has a full eight tablespoons of ground ginger. Ginger is a hot spice. I bought two jars at TJ Maxx a month ago specifically for this recipe. I really don’t know a lot about ginger, other than the pickled ginger you get with sushi. This particular ginger came from India. I don’t know if that makes it hotter, or if it’s merely the quantity, but these gingerbreads pack some heat...in a good way. I think I may put a lemon glaze on them to balance the flavors.

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We took the huge turkey out of the fridge in the garage and placed it in a cooler full of ice overnight. I’ll put it in the oven today so I’m not really sure if I’ll get more cookies baked today. My next baking endeavor will be Spritz Cookies....a buttery, crisp shortbread cookie squeezed from a press with interchangeable disks to create different shapes. The spritz cookie press was invented around 1930-35. We never had one when I was growing up, but I remember the first time I saw these pretty little shaped cookies and tasted their rich, buttery goodness. I scored Pampered Chef’s version of the cookie press at a thrift store this summer for $5 so I’m really looking forward to trying it out.

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So it’s going to be another busy day here on the Ponderosa. Mr. FixIt had to remind me yesterday what day it was. I though it was Wednesday. This safe-at-home thing is great for our health but my sense of time is pretty well shot.

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It’s not forever...it’s just for now.

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You can watch the Appalachian Gingerbread video HERE.

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“But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day.”

\n2 Peter 3:8 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-12-12T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/12/12/day-in-the-kitchenagain.html", "tags": ["Comfort","Baking","Cooking","In the Kitchen"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/12/11/day-just-a-simple-country.html", "title": "Day 272: Just a Simple Country Kitchen", "content_html": "\n
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There was a time in my life when I was fussy about my surroundings. I mean, I grew up in a tiny little house and spent as much time as I possibly could out at my grandma’s farm. I was used to just having the basics...nothing fancy. And while I was a doctor’s wife for twenty years, I can’t say my kitchen was extravagant. Big, yes...tons of cabinets and storage for days. But it certainly wasn’t like some of the kitchens the other doctor’s wives got to cook in. 

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I built my own house after my divorce in 2001 and had a simple galley kitchen with lots of light...light cabinets, light countertops, light flooring, and no curtains. I needed as much light as I could get. My kitchen was perfectly functional, but really small. I didn’t know what small was till I moved into my camper and lived for much of three years. Now THAT’S tiny living.

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When I came off the road and moved back into the little red house on the farm, I was back to my roots. The kitchen was really a nice size. My uncle made the cabinets out of cedar back when they moved the whole house onto the newly built basement. Grandma was in hog heaven in that kitchen...it was like the Taj Mahal to her, and it was perfectly serviceable for me as well.

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Then along came Mr. FixIt. When we set up housekeeping, the kitchen at the Ponderosa was already set up. Fortunately, he is a really flexible guy and gave me free rein to adjust and move things around to suit my cooking style. It’s funny. We’ve been together three years now and whenever he empties the dishwasher, he still puts things in the “wrong place.” I have to laugh because he lived here for forty years...it’s ME that’s putting everything in the wrong place...poor man. It’s a nice sized kitchen, and it’s nothing fancy...just a simple country kitchen. And I couldn’t care less. I am blessed beyond measure to have this wonderful man who is willing to share this beautiful life with me. 

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About three or four weeks ago, the big over-the-stove microwave died. We went to Lowe’s and bought a new one only to realize several hours later...we weren’t sure if it had the right kind of exhaust. Sure enough, it was the wrong kind so we cancelled and kept shopping. Mr. FixIt is quite the bargain hunter and he quickly found us a deal at Big Sandy Superstore. We ordered the new microwave and it came in late last week.

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First things first...the family room needed cleaned and organized so we could put up the tree. Once that was accomplished, it was time to tackle the new microwave. We took the old one out on Wednesday then had to run to town to get a new outlet to plug it into. Errands took up all afternoon...as they always do. There is no such thing as a “quick trip to town.” Mr. FixIt did get the outlet wired Wednesday evening, but we left the actual installation for yesterday.

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After a nice, leisurely breakfast...it was time. There was measuring. And remeasuring. Then discussion about the measurements. There was puzzling over the template...turning it this way and that. There was trimming and more measuring. Then it was time for tea. Holy cats! It took us five hours to install that microwave. There was no blood loss. There were very few bad words spoken. And we were still married when the job was complete, so I’d call that a success!

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Of course, once the job was done, I had to clean the kitchen...again. It seems that is all I get done. Cook. Clean the kitchen. Over and over and over. My friends and I were discussing the other day...our lives have become something akin to the Bill Murray movie, Groundhog Day. Every single day is the same stuff with very little variety to it. Breakfast. Clean the kitchen. Some other chore. Lunch. Clean the Kitchen. Another chore or two. Dinner. Clean the kitchen. News. Write. Snack. Clean the kitchen.

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Covid has done this. Retirement has done this. Comfort has done this. We had family come over yesterday and we all lamented how the year has just felt weird because we didn’t have our big family Thanksgiving Dinner and now we are facing the same disconnect at Christmas. They decided we’ll have to set up the outdoor propane heater outside our big picture window and share Christmas that way. We are only halfway kidding. I’m not quite sure but somehow we need to work it out so we can at least see each other and the babies, even if we can’t get close and be inside and give hugs around their necks.

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There is hope around the corner, though! The vaccines are coming and it’s going to help us turn the corner and start heading into a post-Covid life. We can’t let our guards down completely because the vaccines are still only 95% effective. But it’s going to be a darned sight better than this last year has been.

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Today, I’m going to try making Appalachian Gingerbread and I’m working on a surprise to go along with it. We’ll see how it works. My friend Diane came over yesterday with some extra food she had received and we neither one want things to go to waste. I have a large container of plain yoghurt now so I’m going to set it over a strainer in cheesecloth to drain some of the whey and make a soft cheese we can use on bagels instead of cream cheese. Thank goodness I am getting some of my “Merry Mojo” back!

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““Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Won’t you first sit down and estimate the cost to see if you have enough money to complete it? For if you lay the foundation and are not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will ridicule you, saying, ‘This person began to build and wasn’t able to finish.’”

\nLuke 14:28-30 NIV\n
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\n\n", "date_published": "2020-12-11T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/12/11/day-just-a-simple-country.html", "tags": ["West Virginia","Comfort","Farm Life","Baking","In the Kitchen"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/12/09/day-sneaky-tasting-of-the.html", "title": "Day 270: Sneaky Tasting of the Treats!", "content_html": "\n
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Ok...I know you’re supposed to let fruitcake age. Wrapping it in cheesecloth soaked with the liquor of your choice acts as a deterrent to spoiling and allows the flavors of the ingredients to mellow and refine. Yeah, right. I made it about 28 hours and I had to cut into one of those little mini loaves. 

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Oh. My. Gosh!

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Even without the aging, this is some killer fruitcake here! I love the different textures...the sweetness of the candied fruit and the firmness of the nuts with just enough cake batter to hold it all together. Add a healthy dose of Cherry Brandy in the mix and it is just a taste treat. The only thing is, it’s still pretty soft and moist so it doesn’t slice cleanly. But, who cares? You just moosh all those crumbs together and yum, yum, yum!

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I also made a pot of chili yesterday. I usually make a huge pot and have enough leftover to serve another three or four meals. This time, I used a new chili seasoning from Sam’s Club. Kinder’s Woodfired Chili comes in a box with five pre-measured packets for $4.98. So, a buck a batch. Add two cans of diced tomatoes, a can of pinto beans, a pound of 90/10 ground beef, and 2-3T of dehydrated onions that I made this summer...you get a quick and tasty meal. We still had a couple pieces of the buttermilk cornbread I made on Sunday. I heated those up and they were the perfect side. 

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Mr. FixIt likes a sweeter chili without heat. That isn’t my preference, but there are some compromises that are worth the effort. This was actually flavorful enough that I didn’t really miss the heat and my man was a happy camper. And isn’t that the bottom line? Give and take...even when it’s something as simple as a pot of chili...makes life sweeter. It’s the little things, isn’t it?

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I thought I’d bake some banana bread but just didn’t get to it. Instead, I sat in front of the fire with my sweetheart and knitted some Christmas ornaments. Maybe today. Maybe not. That’s the beauty of “off season”...there isn’t mowing or gardening or canning to do. It’s the holidays...why not just sit back and enjoy it when you can? Life is too short to stress over...stuff.

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“Give us this day our daily bread.”

\nMatthew 6:11 KJV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-12-09T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/12/09/day-sneaky-tasting-of-the.html", "tags": ["Comfort","Cooking","In the Kitchen"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/12/04/day-finding-my-merry-mojo.html", "title": "Day 265: Finding my Merry Mojo", "content_html": "\n
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This past Sunday, I wrote a piece about trying to find my “Merry Mojo”. I just couldn’t quite put my finger on what was wrong with me, but I was certainly suffering a decided loss of motivation. It’s odd, really. From the moment I started teaching myself to bake the perfect loaf of sourdough to the moment I lifted the last batch of jars from the canner, I was as busy as I have ever been. Busier than I’ve been in a long time, really. As Brene Brown says, “We are so busy that the truth of our lives can’t catch up.” So much truth there.

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One of the really important parts of my life is spending time with my girlfriends. Whether we are gathered around a campfire knitting and telling tales or huddled in a coffee shop catching up on each other’s lives, that part of my life was largely missing. Well, pretty much completely missing. So, I filled in the spaces with everything else. Baking. Writing. Gardening. Mowing. Canning. As busy as I was, I keenly felt the missing pieces of my puzzle.

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This doesn’t even begin to touch what I’ve missed out on by not seeing my Colorado family since August 2019 and not having the West Virginia family gatherings since Super Bowl. Add that in and I had to stay busy to stay sane. But, all that busyness came at a price, I fear. It was hard to practice mindfulness and stay in the moment because the moment was stressful and disappointing and scary and confusing and sad.

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One of the things I absolutely have always loved about this space where I write is finding others who are going through the same things. It helps so much when you know you aren’t the only one experiencing something or feeling a certain way. You not only feel less alone...you also feel a little less crazy. Mr. FixIt is my beloved companion and I adore him. And...unless I have that girl time or alone time to recharge, we step on each other’s toes sometimes. That’s perfectly normal. Chatting with the girlfriends would confirm this.

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After I posted Sunday’s essay, one of my dear friends reached out to say she really felt me on that one. She’s going through much the same thing. She is widowed and only has one child locally. She doesn’t want to be “that mom” and demand all her daughter’s attention, but there’s no camping and the farm work is done for the year. It’s like looking down a long dark stretch of lonesome highway and not a car in sight. 

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I texted her and another one of our camping friends and said, “We need a virtual campfire!” Last night, I set up a group video chat in Messenger and we talked and laughed for an hour. It was wonderful to catch up and see my home girls. To find out what they’re doing. To talk about recipes and what projects we’re working on and how we are coping through all of this. We all breathed a huge sigh of relief. It wasn’t a real campground. There weren’t the sounds of owls and crickets in the background or the rustle of a breeze through our hair. But we were just as much together as we could possibly be and declared Thursday nights to be “Girls Night In.” It really helped me find my “Merry Mojo!”

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It isn’t hard to do. I used my laptop and opened a Messenger Chat with my friend, Jan. Then, I clicked on the little video camera icon on the top right. Her phone rang and she accepted the video chat. Once I had her live on video, I selected “Add Another Person” from the bottom bar and rang our friend, Gail. And...voila! There they were, right in my office! It was SO much fun and such a relief.

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This is going to be a long, dark winter, I’m afraid. The Covid numbers are rising to astronomical proportions and they’re just going to get worse before they get better. Let’s make a commitment to visit with friends and family while we are safely staying home to prevent the spread. I have a project in the works and will be offering some fun ways to interact. I’ll let you know when they’re ready. Till then, let’s try to spread some holiday cheer and reach out and talk to someone. You never know who might just be waiting for you to make the first move. There were three of us in that chat. I would guess a group of four would be as many as you would want to have so you aren’t stepping over each other’s audio. Let me know if you have other ideas for virtual visit with your gal pals!

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“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.””

\nDeuteronomy 31:6 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-12-04T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/12/04/day-finding-my-merry-mojo.html", "tags": ["Gratitude","Comfort","Insight"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/11/30/day-oh-rightnow-i-get.html", "title": "Day 261: Oh, Right...Now I Get It!", "content_html": "\n
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Recipe from @joyfoodsunshine

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I finally baked those pumpkins pies today. They still don’t taste like grandma’s but I have lots of pumpkin purée left so I’ll bake some more soon. When the pies were in the oven, Mr. FixIt ran to town for something, and I stayed home to deep clean the family room so we can put up the tree. NOW I know why I have been procrastinating! 

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First...I’m a pile maker. Creative people only LOOK disorganized. We know where everything is...just ask my husband! We have a table in the family room that has a long tablecloth draped over it. I have taken to stuffing things under there, but I actually need to move the table to make room for the rocking chairs that are actually supposed to be out on the front porch but they’ve been in the family room for the last three years taking up WAY too much room. Why aren’t they on the front porch, you ask? Because we never sit out there. We enter the house from the back door. The front faces the big road so it’s dusty, dirty, and noisy out there. And, the back deck isn’t covered and the rain would ruin my pretty wooden rockers. So, there they sit and I work around them. 

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The first thing I had to do was go through my books. The one thing Mr. FixIt and I do not have in our house is a nice bookshelf. I got rid of almost all my books when I left Colorado, but I’ve slowly accumulated more over the years. I suppose I’ll just have to put them in boxes till we get a bookcase one of these days. In the meantime, my piles are still on the floor around my recliner, waiting for me to return to them today. I still have camping stuff that needs to be taken downstairs. Stacks of papers. Projects. Cards and letters. It’s sort of ironic that one of the books in the piles there is “Get Organized”.  Oy! 

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I kept myself so busy this year, I just threw things on that table and now it’s time to pay the piper, so to speak. I’ll get through it today and get the decorations brought up from the basement. One step at a time...always forward!

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“But do everything properly and in order.”

\n1 Corinthians 14:40 CEV\n
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\n\n", "date_published": "2020-11-30T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/11/30/day-oh-rightnow-i-get.html", "tags": ["Comfort","Baking","Cooking","In the Kitchen"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/11/29/day-looking-for-my-merry.html", "title": "Day 260: Looking for my Merry Mojo", "content_html": "\n
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I’m having trouble finding my footing with the change from uber busy spring-summer-fall to...indoors. There are a million things I could/should be doing, but I am not finding the wherewithal to get after it. I STILL haven’t made those pumpkin pies. Not that I didn’t try. I pulled the dough out of the fridge yesterday and when I started rolling it out, I knew something was terribly wrong. It was springy, like bread, so I knew the gluten got activated. Also, I used that cheap bargain basement flour from the Piggly Wiggly and it’s just not good for much of anything. I ended up throwing both the dough and the remaining flour away. I promise I’ll bake these pies today!

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We had company yesterday. It’s really something when you get super excited if someone comes over. The former Mrs. FixIt called Friday evening and asked if we had extra room in the garage freezer for a twenty pound turkey. This is the great thing about buying turkey after the holiday...you can get really good prices. Kroger had big turkeys on sale for $ .59 a pound so we asked her to pick up one for us. We already had a big twenty-four pound turkey in the downstairs freezer, so we put it in the garage fridge to defrost and put the new turkey in its place. Here’s the best part of the story, though. When she was checking out, the manager asked her if she would like a Black Friday Special. Well, who doesn’t want that, right? So, he sold her the turkeys for $ .39 cents a pound. Too bad there weren’t more turkeys (she got the last two) and we don’t have a bigger freezer. I would have bought several. It was really great to stand out in the sunshine and visit for a while and show her all the work we’ve been doing around the Ponderosa.

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My missing mojo shows up in my missing Christmas tree, too. I swore I’d have it up before Halloween, and now here we are after Thanksgiving and I’m procrastinating for some reason. Maybe my motivation will return today! I’ll start with baking those pies after church, then we’ll drag the decorations out, turn on White Christmas, and before we know it, the job will be done. Then I’m not taking it down, like...ever! lol I think the fact that we have had to forego having the family over for the holidays is what’s bumming me out. I can’t jump on a plane and fly to Colorado to see the family, either. 

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Mr. FixIt made me a bowl of ice cream last night as we watched the news. He put a little chocolate sauce on it, and I added a couple spoonfuls of cranberry sauce on top. OMGosh! It was SO good. It tastes like chocolate covered cherries. I’m determined to try as many new recipes and methods of serving the leftovers. I will freeze a container for the turkey I’m thawing out.

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“Big” sent me a picture of her “Gingerbread Camper” the other day. I had to laugh. This was the grandchild who went camping and absolutely loved it, saying over and over, “We need to do this again, Nana!” Till the next summer when her adolescent self decided camping with Nana was infinitely uncool. Yet, here she is...I knew those memories would come back with fondness one of these days. It warmed my heart.

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Have you decorated for the holidays? If you are newly bereaved, you may find it very difficult. I managed to put up the tree the first Christmas then was promptly depressed the next day. The second Christmas was when things fell apart with my Aunt and we didn’t have any decorations. I don’t think I really decorated until I settled back on the farm in 2016. Do you have favorite ornaments? What about traditions surrounding trimming the tree? I saw a story where people are flocking to buy real trees this year because of the memories of the hunt for the perfect tree. I haven’t had a real tree in many, many years. Basically, because I feel it’s wasteful, but also there’s the fire hazard and mess it makes. I have a candle with a very realistic pine tree scent. That’s good enough for me.

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It’s time to get back up and get in the game. There’s work to be done and fun to be had and memories to make...no matter the circumstances!!!

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“It is truly wonderful when the people of God live together in peace.”

\nPsalms 133:1 CEV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-11-29T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/11/29/day-looking-for-my-merry.html", "tags": ["Family","Comfort","Farm Life","Baking","Memories","Cooking","In the Kitchen"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/11/24/day-still-waitingand-waiting.html", "title": "Day 255: Still Waiting...and Waiting...", "content_html": "\n
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I finally gave in and called the little clinic where I had my Covid test done on Saturday. I know they said three days, but I was hoping it might have come in. No such luck. As a matter of fact, I left a message and it wasn’t returned. So, hopefully it comes in today. My back still hurts some, but the rest of the symptoms seem to have abated, so I’m thinking it was just a run of the mill virus and not the BIG one.

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I puttered around the house yesterday out at the farm. I decided to put the Christmas decorations up. I have a couple of trees that light up that Mr. FixIt gave me the first Christmas right after we started dating. I went to Colorado that Christmas and was gone a month. When I got back, I pulled in the driveway and the trees were on the front porch of Grandma’s house. It was the first time I’d seen lights out there since I was a little girl and I sat right there in my truck and cried. It was the sweetest thing.

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I pulled the trees out and put them together and ran the extension cord out to the front porch. No matter how I hooked it up, they wouldn’t light. I tried plugging them into the light receptacle. Nothing. I even brought them back inside and purged them into the house. Nope. When I have them set up out here, they run 24/7 for at least 6-8 weeks. I’m sure they just burned out. Unfortunately, they aren’t the kind of lights you can change, nor is there a fuse. So, I’ll just have to come up with something else for the porch this year.

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When I was living here at the farm, I saw a couple of boxes of Christmas stuff in the basement. I went down there yesterday and rummaged around and found them. There wasn’t a lot that was really usable, but I salvaged what I could and put them out on the dining room table to brighten up the place for the holidays. Grandma always had pretty tablecloths for the old round dining table. Most of them were practical flannel-backed vinyl, but one of them is this printed cloth one for Christmas. I also found the three red plastic bells that have always hung on the front door ever since I was a very little girl. They don’t work anymore either, but they’re out there...bringing back the memories. So, we’re all decorated on the inside. 

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While I’ve enjoyed my respite here at the farm, I am really ready to go home. I miss my boyfriend! I had the opportunity to have long conversations with family and friends the last few days. We talked about marriage and how we get into a groove when we are together all the time. Bring in a global pandemic and keeping to yourselves and that adds a whole new layer of togetherness. BC...before Covid...Mr. FixIt bowled two nights a week. BS...before strokes...he worked odd jobs with his friend Harry. I traveled and camped and spoke publicly. We were used to having some separation. So, yeah...any breaks away only make us appreciate each other that much more when we get back together.

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I’ll hang around today for the phone call. I’m just certain it’s negative. It has to be...if not, we’ll be spending Thanksgiving alone. I need to get home and prep some pumpkin and make some pies! Thanksgiving is just around the corner!

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?

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“I have provided all kinds of fruit and grain for you to eat.”

\nGenesis 1:29 CEV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-11-24T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/11/24/day-still-waitingand-waiting.html", "tags": ["West Virginia","The Farm","Comfort","Baking"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/11/23/day-waiting-it-out.html", "title": "Day 254: Waiting it Out", "content_html": "\n
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As I hunker down here at the farm, an alert came over the phone. Rain is coming. Plink. Plink. Plink. You hear the first drops hit the tin roof. Before long, you know it will sound like bacon frying. If it rains hard enough, it turns to a roar. I smile as I remember all the rainstorms of my youth in this house. There was this one time when it rained in the back yard, but not a drop in the front! 

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If it rains hard enough, I’ll hear the water running in the creek outside Grandma’s bedroom window. But, as I write this, a gentle rain falls. I don’t watch TV, but when I want to feel cozy here on a chilly day, I turn it on and find the channel that plays a blazing fireplace...complete with snaps and crackles. There’s nothing better than the sounds and sights of a crackling fire AND rain on a tin roof.

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I’m still here, waiting for word from the results of my Covid test. I still have a cough. I still have a backache. I’m still really tired. I know it’s something...probably just a cold...but I can’t risk making my sweetheart sick. So here I sit. My friend Diane called me the other night and told me our little town is delivering Thanksgiving meals. I called and ordered two. When I get home, I’ll make a couple pumpkin pies and we’ll call it good.

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Yes, it sucks to not have our family around for the holidays this year. But, imagine what it was like during the 1918 influenza pandemic? For us, it means no TV...no Hallmark Christmas Movies or football games or even reruns of Andy Griffith. No electronics, no internet...few diversions. In 1918, the first wave was relatively mild with few deaths, the disease lasting about three days. When it came back in the fall, it killed with a vengeance wiping out entire families. No promise of a vaccine. No lifesaving super meds. Covid is rising rapidly here and I’ll do everything I can to keep it from hitting my home and my family. If it means empty chairs now, it increases the odds of full chairs down the road.

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I’m praying my test is negative. Because, if it isn’t, I’ll be having Thanksgiving here at the farm alone and my sweetheart will be at the house alone, as well. My gut tells me it’s negative. I just don’t feel sick enough for it to be Covid...at least from what I hear about symptoms. Still, I’ll wait it out, listening to the rain on a tin roof, and feel so grateful for this safe place...this “home of my heart”.

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?

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“My people will live in peaceful dwelling places, in secure homes, in undisturbed places of rest.”

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\nIsaiah 32:18 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-11-23T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/11/23/day-waiting-it-out.html", "tags": ["Health","West Virginia","The Farm","Comfort","Peaceful Moments"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/11/22/day-can-you-sayquarantine.html", "title": "Day 253: Can You Say...Quarantine?", "content_html": "\n
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I woke up yesterday with a stuffy head. I didn’t think I felt too bad till I attempted to get out of bed. Then I felt as though I perhaps had been in a tractor pull...sans tractor. As the morning wore on, the cough and the sneezing started. I just didn’t feel good. I went on the DHS website and took their assessment questionnaire and it advised I go in for testing. My initial thought was, “Yeah...I’ll see how I feel tomorrow.” Then Daughter #1 happened to send a video chat request. After hearing my story, she strongly suggested I go get tested. 

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Now, remember...I’m out at the farm. I can’t go near Mr. FixIt. So I called the nearest clinic and were told they do Covid testing. The gal said to “come to the tent and call this number. I’ll take your info and send someone out to do the swab.” It was about a twenty minute drive out to this little tiny rural hospital/clinic. I pulled out the envelope with the phone number, opened my phone screen and...zero cell service. I don’t know what they can get there...but it’s not Verizon. And, there was no tent. I drove around the buildings until I finally found three parking spots with “Covid Testing Parking” on a piece of printer paper taped to a pole.

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I gloved and masked up and timidly went in the front foyer of the emergency department. The lady came and asked what I needed. She sent me back out to the truck, and came out about five minutes later with the test kit. This swab only went in about a half inch or so. It wasn’t the foot long swab that goes a full 4-5 inches up your nose. I don’t mind that, except I do want what is most reliable. She sent me home with directions to isolate till I get the results in three days when they’ll call me.

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Now I’m doing what I can to feel better. Zinc and Vitamin C for immune boosters, anti-inflammatory for pain and fever reduction, fluids and rest. I have a stack of magazines and my electronics and my little mini-fridge of food. I was really looking forward to getting back home to see my sweetheart. I know I love a break and a little R&R, but now I’m missing my “boyfriend”. 

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It’s not all bad, though. I have another stretch of time to love on this house. The same house my grandma adored. It was the Taj Mahal to her. I look around at this old bedroom. The holes in the plaster where nails hung pictures till enough of the plaster was lost and the nail no longer held. I try to remember what was hung in each spot. A calendar from the feed store, perhaps. Or, more likely, a school picture of one of us kids. 

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Grandma was what we called “picture poor”. She might not have had a whole lot, but that woman always had film in her camera and every trip to the farm involved pictures. We would stop and get her pictures for her from the store and take them to the farm with a sack of groceries. After lunch, we all gathered around to look at grandma’s pictures. No one said a word about her photography. She had a habit of standing so far away from her subjects, you had no idea who they were. But, they were always standing in front of some flowers. Grandma loved her posies.

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Resting here in her bed, I listen for her voice coming back down the halls of my memory. Her laugh. Her sayings. Her quiet judgment. Her gentle love. Her strong hand that she didn’t mind swatting your backside with when you acted a fool. I see her on a sunny day with freshly washed hair glistening with streaks of silver against the dark hair of her youth that refused to leave entirely. She washed her hair in a bucket of rainwater heated on the stove. She rinsed it with cool rainwater she dipped from the barrel at the corner of the house. She kept an old enamel saucepan hanging on a nail precisely for that purpose.

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When my children were very small, she would get the step stool for them. They stood on the stool and combed her long hair over and over till it dried. Then she would whip it around and around with a few swift turns and pin it into a bun. I smile at that thought because I’ve taken to wearing my own silver-streaked hair in a bun, too. One of these days, when Covid is over and we are free to do as we will, I will have a family picnic here at the farm to celebrate. And, maybe my own little three-year-old great granddaughter will stand on that very same stool and comb MY hair.

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The circle of life. 

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?

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“Children are a blessing and a gift from the Lord. Having a lot of children to take care of you in your old age is like a warrior with a lot of arrows.”

\nPsalms 127:3-4 CEV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-11-22T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/11/22/day-can-you-sayquarantine.html", "tags": ["Health","Overcoming Obstacles","The Farm","Comfort","Memories"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/11/04/day-im-not-watching.html", "title": "Day 236: I’m Not Watching", "content_html": "\n
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I was so proud of myself yesterday. I didn’t scroll endlessly through social media and news sites filling my every waking moment with the talking heads. Instead, I had a leisurely breakfast with my sweetheart then took him to the dentist. Poor dear had to have some painful work done. I brought him home with a stop at the store for ice cream, yoghurt, and cottage cheese...soft and easy to eat. He dug into my home canned applesauce as well so he was, overall, a pretty contented guy. Tylenol seemed to keep him comfortable enough.

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As he kicked back in his comfy new recliner, I worked on the Christmas ornaments I am knitting. We watched Andy Griffith and Frazier and Big Bang Theory reruns. We did watch the evening news and that was the extent of election info for the day.

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I’m still working on the two little kits I bought when we were at the beach. I have ripped out the white one six times. First it was too little to get the clear plastic ornament into. Then it was too big and I ran out of yarn before it was finished. This went back and forth and finally, I set it aside and worked on the other one. It has bright colors and for some reason, the pattern just struck me and I realized what I did wrong with the other one. Basically, it boils down to trying to keep track of stitch count and watching TV. That just doesn’t work very well for me. Once I figured it out, it was smooth sailing and I’m almost finished with the fourth ornament.

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I bought some fuzzy white yarn so I’m going to try to make some that look like snowballs. I also bought some of that scratchy yarn to make kitchen scrubbies. I’ll show you those when I start on them. That’s really the extent of my day. It was uneventful, given the importance of the election. And, I finished the day relaxed and not angst filled. I’m focused on peace and goodness in my life because I have no control over what happens outside of it. I still, at the time of this writing, have no idea who won the presidency. We may get up this morning and not know. But, win or lose, we are all Americans...one nation, under God.

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So, today...I just keep knitting.

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❤️

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“Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.”

\nColossians 3:13 NLT\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-11-04T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/11/04/day-im-not-watching.html", "tags": ["Comfort","Forgiveness","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/10/26/day-the-real-feel-of.html", "title": "Day 227: The Real Feel of Autumn", "content_html": "\n
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When I woke up yesterday, I greeted my sweetheart and said, “How can it possibly be Sunday again already?” The time flies so, so fast anymore. I grabbed my coffee, Mr. FixIt his tea, and we headed into the family room for church. I know it is important to have fellowship with other Christians, but I’m telling you...I like not having to drive all the way to town and back on a Sunday. I like to sit in my comfy chair and listen to the worship music and the encouraging words of a good sermon. We can hit “pause” if we have to take a little trip down the hall. Hey, we’re older now. And, we can discuss and openly encourage each other as the message is being preached. 

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Yesterday, one of our associate pastors gave us a wonderful message. I love when visuals are used to demonstrate points. I have always been a visual learner and think in analogies, so I especially enjoyed it. You can catch it on YouTube HERE.  (They actually go live about 9 minutes, 45 seconds in.)

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I had a hankering for some comfort food yesterday. I bought a small chuck roast the other day so I browned it on either side and put it in my slow cooker around noon. Mr. Virgo used to put a can each of Cream of Onion and Cream of Celery soups in with garlic, onions, mushrooms, and a can of water. This always made a wonderful gravy. Unfortunately, I found my last two onions were too old to use and I forgot to buy mushrooms. Well, guess who dehydrated mushrooms and onions this summer and stored them away for occasions such as this? Me! I added about a cup of dehydrated mushrooms and 1/3 cup of dehydrated onions to the slow cooker, stirred it all around a bit, put the lid on and turned it to high. Five hours later, I served the roast with some of my home canned green beans, home canned applesauce, and herb roasted tiny potatoes. It was fabulous and we have enough leftover for tonight, too.

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I’m back to baking sourdough again. I took a few weeks off when I was so busy canning. While I wasn’t baking, I fed my sourdough starter once a week and kept it in the refrigerator. That slows the feeding down. I was thrilled when I took it out Thursday to warm up, fed it, and it overflowed the jar. That’s the sign of a good, strong yeast. I fed it again Friday night, then Saturday morning, I worked up my dough, formed the loaves, and set them in the garage fridge to rise overnight. A cold rise is supposed to allow the acids to build up in the dough and make a more sour loaf, so I’m looking forward to having some for breakfast this morning. I’ve found it doesn’t cut well and the flavor isn’t as pronounced until the day after baking.

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Once the bread was finished, I spent the afternoon writing an article for the winter issue of Girl Camper Magazine. The magazine comes out four times a year and you can’t get it at the newsstand. If you are interested, you can order a subscription HERE.

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I love Sundays and it was wonderful to have a nice, slow day...gentle rain...fire in the family room...the smells of homemade bread and a roast cooking...spending time with my sweetie. I was thrilled to get the news from my Colorado peeps that snow has fallen in the mountains. Hopefully, this will help knock out the wildfires and we can put that to rest for the year. I hope you had a wonderful weekend and that you are staying healthy.

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❤️

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“Remember that the Sabbath Day belongs to me. You have six days when you can do your work, but the seventh day of each week belongs to me, your God. No one is to work on that day—not you, your children, your slaves, your animals, or the foreigners who live in your towns. In six days I made the sky, the earth, the oceans, and everything in them, but on the seventh day I rested. That's why I made the Sabbath a special day that belongs to me.”

\nExodus 20:8-11 CEV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-10-26T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/10/26/day-the-real-feel-of.html", "tags": ["Comfort","God","Peaceful Moments","Cooking","In the Kitchen"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/10/07/day-gods-present-is-his.html", "title": "Day 208: God’s Present is His Presence", "content_html": "\n
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It isn’t very often I get up before Mr. FixIt. He’s definitely an earlier riser than me, so yesterday was one of those rare mornings when the house is still and quiet as I walked into the kitchen. I made my morning coffee and popped a couple of my made-ahead waffles into the toaster. Soon, the smell of vanilla and cinnamon and coffee gently caressed the air and I nibbled on breakfast as I watched the autumn sun glisten on the lawn out the kitchen window.

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I placed my dishes in the sink, slipped on my shoes, and carried my coffee outside to let the kitty out for the day. It is unmistakably fall as the temperature was hovering around forty degrees. As I made my way down the sidewalk, looking for any sign of the frost my friend Joyce had in town, something caught my eye. I looked down and there was a single dandelion clock...the part of the dandelion with the seeds that you blow on and make a wish. It sparkled in the sun like it was encased in little tiny diamonds. It was enchanting. I hurried inside to get my phone to take a photo.

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I thought at first we must have had a frost after all, but it was just a very heavy dew...decorating every little strand and hair like nature’s very own Tiffany showcase. I snapped several photos and was dismayed that I couldn’t get in really close. The nice thing about iPhones these days is the high resolution on their cameras so all I had to do was blow the picture up to see the little sparkles.

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I went on and let the cat out, giving her some snuggles before she scampered off to explore the Ponderosa. This is the smartest cat. She stays far away from the big road. Cars and trucks scare her and she makes a bee line for the building every time one comes down our side road. I checked what’s left of the plants in the raised beds and garden and we really are at the tail end. I have a few small peppers I can do something with this week. I have some orange slices in the dehydrator so maybe when I pull those out, I can dry some peppers for soups and sauces this winter.

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I sat down with my coffee and searched YouTube one last time for instructions on canning apple pie filling. Even after reading several recipes and watching some videos, it wasn’t sitting right with me and I felt I was missing something. I found another homesteading video and there it was. The lady was getting ready to add the ClearGel and happened to mention, “Now, be sure you use the kind of ClearGel you use for cooking and not the instant. Instant won’t work for canning pie filling.” I still had the jar of ClearGel on the coffee table in front of me so I picked it up and, wouldn’t you know it? I have the instant! I didn’t even know there were different kinds. So...Plan B. Or is it C at this point? Who knows?

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I could have just canned the apples, but when I went to check them, it was apparent they were really a very soft variety...more of a sauce apple than a baking apple. I knew I would get through all this work and end up with soupy, chunky applesauce. I decided instead to make apple butter. I found a recipe for making apple butter in a slow cooker, so I finished preparing the last of the apples and layered them with a little sugar in a couple of six quart food grade tubs and set them aside for the day to bring the juice out. Then I seasoned them with cinnamon, nutmeg, and allspice and added some apple juice and a little brown sugar. I divided the batch and filled both of my slow cookers. I placed them on low and we’ll see what they look like today.

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As I sat down to write this last night, I was weary. I keep trying to strike that balance between staying well informed and maintaining my sanity. I swear, it seems like the typical news cycle is twenty-four hours or less anymore, and stories change in rapid succession. I leaned back and closed my eyes and said, “God, I need to you come sit with me for a while. I’m overwhelmed by all that his happening now. What is it you want me to see here?” Then, I listened.

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I wasn’t even going to write about the dandelion last night. As a matter of fact, I had forgotten all about those quiet moments in the garden with my coffee early in the morning. Suddenly, I saw that little sparkling orb in the grass in my mind’s eye and heard... “Narrow your focus.” I pulled out my phone and fiddled around with one of the photos till I had it blown up and focused on the tiny little droplets of dew on each tiny little hair of the clock.

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He was right. As I narrowed my focus to those little drops of dew, I heard... “I give you this every day. When was the last time you looked for this without stepping on it or rushing by with your nose in the news?” I felt the tension slip away from my shoulders and neck and smiled at this entire universe sitting in a little patch of sunlight on our lawn. How often do I miss this gift?

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Yes, the course of our nation is in the balance right now. Decisions are being made, and will be made in the coming weeks and months that will potentially impact our lives for generations to come. And these things are vitally important to stay engaged in and see through. But God also wants us to remember...we are sitting in a tiny little patch of sun in the middle of a massive, unfathomable universe and we really aren’t the ones ultimately in control here. Getting my blood in a boil is not going to change things. Firing off retorts on Facebook is not going to change things. We are too polarized for that now. There’s no convincing either side of the merits of the other. We’ve been manipulated and drawn into a place this country hasn’t seen in decades and I don’t know about you...but I sure don’t feel in control of much of anything this month.

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So, I narrow my focus. I do what I can do. I love on people at every opportunity. I create goodness in my kitchen, I create kindness in my heart, and I create peace in my mind by looking in a teeny tiny crystal ball, nestled in the tall, tough grass of autumn.

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❤️

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“I have not yet reached my goal, and I am not perfect. But Christ has taken hold of me. So I keep on running and struggling to take hold of the prize. My friends, I don't feel I have already arrived. But I forget what is behind, and I struggle for what is ahead. I run toward the goal, so I can win the prize of being called to heaven. This is the prize God offers because of what Christ Jesus has done. All of us who are mature should think in this same way. And if any of you think differently, God will make it clear to you.”

\nPhilippians 3:12-15 CEV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-10-07T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/10/07/day-gods-present-is-his.html", "tags": ["Faith","Gratitude","Comfort","God"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/10/04/day-a-space-of-my.html", "title": "Day 205: A Space of My Own", "content_html": "\n
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I think every woman should carve out a little space that is just hers. Guys get the “man cave” or their “workshop”. Women get the kitchen. That’s all well and good. I mean, I love being in the kitchen and creating wonderful foods for the people I love. But it’s not like that...or the products that come from it...are for me alone.

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I have my camper. For now, anyway. But what happens when I sell her? I may not have another one right away, and since I don’t have a “she shed”, I’ve decided to create a space of my own here at the house. We have a bedroom that has nothing but boxes of things labeled “Garage Sale”. These are boxes that the former Mrs. FixIt left thinking when the time came and we decided to actually HAVE a garage sale, we could stick this stuff in it. She is very helpful that way...very organized...and I appreciate it immensely. I think, if Covid hadn’t struck, we might actually have had a garage sale this year, but alas...it was not to be.

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Rather than wait another whole year, I’m taking matters into my own hands. I’m going to clear that room out and create a space just for me. Mostly because, when I settle in to write this blog every night, I write while I’m propped up with a bunch of pillows in our bed. I don’t think it’s doing my back any good and I’m tired of feeling like I’m in bed all the time. I’ve tried writing in the living room while Mr. FixIt watches TV but I find it distracting at best and mostly agitating, even with headphones on.

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I have a picture in my head of what my room will look like. I have a Tiffany style floor lamp out at the farm. I brought it from my home in Colorado and I’d love to have it beside a comfortable chair. I would like a small side table...a place to set my cup of tea, a basket by the chair for my knitting, and a small footstool to prop my feet upon. I would like lacy white curtains to let in the light. I have an electric space heater out at the farm that looks like an antique wood stove. I would like to create a faux fireplace with it. I’ll hang the wooden clock that I bought Mr. Virgo for his last Christmas. I’ll have a small Bluetooth speaker to listen to soft music...or the sounds of a crackling fire. The room will be cozy and comfortable and quiet and peaceful. A nice place to write and retreat without having to climb in bed. And the best part? NO TV!

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We went to our great granddaughter’s 3rd Birthday Party yesterday. We stopped at the 4H Ox Roast on our way home to pick up a couple of meals so we wouldn’t have to cook. Oh, my goodness...that was wonderful food. And so much of it, too. After supper, I opened Facebook and...there was my chair! It was absolutely the exact chair I’ve been wanting at a price that can’t be beat. We’ll run into town today to pick it up and that will motivate me to get the back room cleared out. I’m nesting and getting my winter she shed ready.

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❤️

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““As long as the earth endures, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night will never cease.””

\nGenesis 8:22 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-10-04T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/10/04/day-a-space-of-my.html", "tags": ["West Virginia","Gratitude","Comfort","Peace","Wisdom","Peaceful Moments","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/10/01/day-my-kitchen-is-my.html", "title": "Day 202: My Kitchen is my Happy Place!", "content_html": "\n
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Someone on my Twitter feed yesterday asked “What makes you happy?” Without hesitation, I responded with “Being in my kitchen!” As long as I can remember, the kitchen has held a special place in my heart. It’s where you pour secret ingredients like “Love” and “Hope” and “Prayers” into your family’s food. It’s where you create beautiful, wholesome meals from nothing but a handful of this and that. It’s where you work out the problems of the world over a cup of coffee with your bestie. It’s where you write out cards and bills and maybe...a letter! 

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The kitchen holds the heartbeat of a home. My earliest memories involve my grandma’s kitchen out at the farm...that place I still get to enjoy and soak up the wisdom she left in its bones. With an oilcloth table covering and a kerosene lantern as a centerpiece, I spent many wonderful hours in that kitchen. Another favorite kitchen was in the farmhouse we lived in when Hubby #2 was doing his internship and residency. A big old cast iron farm sink under a wide window you could throw open made cooking more pleasant, even on the hottest days.

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When I got up yesterday, I immediately set on a pot of beans for supper in the slow cooker. Then, I set to organizing my workspace in the kitchen so I could start canning the produce stand on Tuesday. By the end of the day, I had eighteen beautiful jars of cubed butternut squash that will make wonderful soup this winter. As the canner was chattering away, I whipped up some cornbread and baked it in an iron skillet. I took the smoked ham hock out of the beans and removed the tender meat from the bones so we could get some of that rich, smoky flavor in every bite.

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The ClearGel arrived yesterday so I can finally start on the apple pie filling. I’m really looking forward to that. I love baking pies in the winter, but don’t always want to take the time to prepare the apples. My cousin has always made pie filling so I’m going to try my hand at it. I think once I get that project done, I’m finished for the season. This has been a huge undertaking and I have to admit...the diversion has been a saving grace for me. It helped me get through some bumps in my road and now, I’ve got all this great food ready to go. I’ll have all these great memories when I put the food on the table or share the occasional jar with my loved ones.

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Well, that’s a wrap on September! Let us pray October brings us moments to pause. To sit with a cup of tea and marvel at the earth turning to gold. To close our eyes and catch a thin whiff of wood smoke and wet leaves. To hear the last faint strains of crickets and katydids before they are gone for the year. Ahhhh....sweaters and leggings, here I come!

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❤️

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“He changes times and seasons; he deposes kings and raises up others. He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the discerning.”

\nDaniel 2:21 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-10-01T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/10/01/day-my-kitchen-is-my.html", "tags": ["Fun","Comfort","Cooking","In the Kitchen"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/09/30/day-adjusting-to-the-new.html", "title": "Day 201: Adjusting to the New Normal", "content_html": "\n
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I’ve had a lot of “new normals” in my life. Two divorces found me as a single parent each time, trying to figure out how I was going to make it on my own. 9/11 left us all trying to wrap our heads around this feeling of no longer being safe. Losing Mr. Virgo left me broken and lost, yet determined to find out who I was in this world. Then the pandemic hit and the state of emergency was called on March 13th and everything changed.

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I’ve been posting the “Day Number” in front of every post since 3/13 but didn’t realize I was off by a few days. Yesterday was 200 days of New Normal. It’s been a really trying time for most of us. At least, it has been for me. It all started between Mr. FixIt’s two strokes and I didn’t know what to think. But, just like I knew instinctively that I needed to put something joyful in front of me to survive losing Mr. Virgo, I knew I needed to put something in front of me to get through this crisis as well. 

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Serendipitously, spring was on its way and there was much to look forward to. After spending three solid weeks glued to the television watching a deadly disease run rampant around the world, Mr. FixIt’s second stroke hit and I was knocked sideways again. That’s when my friend Kate sent me some of her sourdough starter. And I found my “something joyful” to put in front of me to get through this season. I found it in my kitchen.

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There are many seasons in life and not a single one of them is predictable. When we are faced with trying times, we can either choose to bury our heads in the sand and float along the surface as best we can...trying not to drown. Or, we can dive headfirst into the waves and find out what strong swimmers we are. I was never a very strong swimmer...in the water. But in the seas of life? I’m getting to be a boss!

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You will find yourself swimming upstream so many times in your life. It’s not easy to do when there’s all those rocks and rapids and obstacles thrown in your way. The best advice I can give you is...keep paddling. Keep fighting the fight. Keep standing back up. And, every once in a while, sit on the bank and take a breather. Look back downstream and see how far you’ve come. 

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Find something...anything that’s joyful...and keep paddling towards it, my friends. 

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We’ve got this.

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❤️

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“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”

\nGalatians 6:9 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-09-30T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/09/30/day-adjusting-to-the-new.html", "tags": ["Comfort","Courage","Choices","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/09/23/day-im-makin-waffles.html", "title": "Day 189: “I’m Makin’ Waffles!”", "content_html": "\n
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In April 2001, a brand new movie came out that kids everywhere loved. Shrek was a green skinned troll with questionable social skills who paired up with a delightful donkey named...Donkey. They lived in the swamp and met up with Princess Fiona...a girl troll. It was fun and funny. Daughter #2 and I watched it a lot! She was eleven years old at the time...one of our fondest memories.

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Donkey wants a sleepover and he declares he’s getting up the next morning and making waffles!!! Ahhhhh....waffles. That was a very special treat at our house reserved for the occasional Saturday morning. We had a rather large waffle iron and the batter invariably stuck to the plates of the iron no matter how much you oiled them. But when they did come out well, they were decadent. The butter pooled in the little wells of the waffle, soon to fight for its place when the syrup was poured on.

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I had a nice waffle iron at one point. And it may be one of the things I saved to use in TOW-Wanda when I traveled. But I haven’t see it in ages so I started looking for one. People must not be making waffles like they used to because I couldn’t find a regular waffle iron anywhere. I did find a few Belgian varieties, but that’s not what I wanted.

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I’ve been in every store in town over the last few weeks just popping my head into the kitchen department and they were either out of stock or never carried them. I know God loves for us to come to him with even the most mundane requests so I asked Him to direct me to a waffle iron. And not just any old iron either. I wanted the big square one that made four smaller square waffles. And, wouldn’t it be wonderful if it was multipurpose like these new ones are now? Where you can open it up, lay it flat and turned the metal plates over to the smooth side to use as a griddle? That, please.

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Every time I go to town, I check someplace else. Then yesterday, I was driving down the main drag of town when I just “felt” that waffle iron was nearby. I looked to my right and there was Goodwill. Masked up and phone in hand, I wandered in. I looked up and down the aisles and was not finding any kitchen items. Then, I got the nudge. “Look there!” And there she was! Exactly what I wanted. It even has the accompanying booklets to go with it!

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I took my treasure to the front to pay and the clerk asked if I qualified for the “Senior Discount”. Part of me wanted to bristle up in indignation. The other part say, heck yeah...bring it on!

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“That’ll be $2.89, please.”

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Are you kidding me??? I was nearly giddy with the experience!

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So that’s the story of the $2.89 waffle maker. 

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Guess what WE had for supper?

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“I’m makin’ WAFFLES!”

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❤️

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“And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.”

\nPhilippians 4:19 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-09-23T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/09/23/day-im-makin-waffles.html", "tags": ["Comfort","Downsizing","Baking","Memories","Cooking","In the Kitchen"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/09/18/day-ohhhhhtomato-pie.html", "title": "Day 184: Ohhhhh...Tomato Pie!", "content_html": "\n
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When Mr. FixIt and I were visiting the Outer Banks for our anniversary, we stopped in a seafood shop to check out what the local waters were offering. Among the many delicious varieties available was a seemingly out of place item...Tomato Pie. I asked about it and they said it was a southern thing and very tasty, however...the price was outrageous and you couldn’t buy just one piece. You had to buy the whole pie. I could only think of one thing...what if we didn’t like it? I would hate to throw all that food away. So, I vowed to try making it myself when my own tomatoes were ready.

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Over the weekend, we noticed the garden was heavily dotted with the bright red of ripe tomatoes. Yesterday was the first chance I’ve had to stay at home and play around in the kitchen. The first thing I did was check on my brined pickles. I hate to report they were a huge flop. I don’t know what happened. Maybe they were overripe. Maybe my brine wasn’t the right concentration. Maybe my jars weren’t sterilized. I don’t know. They were soggy and some were downright slimy. And there was mold on the surface. I wasn’t about to taste them. I just dumped them out and washed and sterilized the jars. That’s not bad...one failure in all the things I’ve cooked and canned during covid. It was disappointing, though.

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Once I had that mess cleaned up, I went out and picked a bucket of tomatoes. Not all of them were ripe but I hate leaving them out there for the critters to eat. I line up the ripe ones on the counter and windowsill till they turn red. I had about eight or ten medium tomatoes ready to do something with. I scalded, peeled, and cored them and gently pressed out the majority of the seeds. Then I put them in my new food processor with the steel blade and processed them till they were smooth.

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I put the tomato purée in a saucepan and simmered it till it was reduced by about a third and was the consistency of spaghetti sauce. I seasoned it with salt, pepper, garlic, oregano, paprika, and a pinch of cayenne and set it aside. I made some pie crust in the food processor and rolled out half. The other half went in the fridge to make something with today. I lined a 10” pie plate and set that aside. Then I made a roux. Are you familiar with that? You melt butter and stir in flour over a low heat. You keep stirring till the roux gets a nice golden brown, then you add the tomato sauce that has been cooling. Once the two were combined, I turned off the heat and browned some chopped up bacon till it was crispy. I drained it well on paper towels and sprinkled it in the bottom of the pie crust. Then I added a handful or two of grated mozzarella cheese. 

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I put the cooled tomato sauce back in the food processor on low and added four extra large eggs, one at a time till they were fully incorporated. I preheated the oven to 375 degrees, lined a baking sheet with foil and set the pie plate on it, poured the tomato/egg mixture into the pie shell, sprinkled another small handful of grated mozzarella on top, and popped it in the oven. I baked it for 50 minutes...watching it the last ten minutes or so to make sure it didn’t burn.

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We let the Tomato Pie cool a bit while we cleaned up then sat down to try it out. I have seen a dozen different recipes for Tomato Pie and it runs the gamut from nothing more than thickly sliced tomatoes baked in layers with grated cheese to a two crust version that looked kind of loose and runny. I wanted mine to look more like the one I saw in North Carolina...more like a quiche. And that’s exactly what this one looked like. And....oh, my! The flavor!!! It tasted like eating a big plate of spaghetti without the heaviness of all that pasta. I made a pie crust recipe that used butter only so the crust was very tender and flaky. It was fabulous, if I do say so myself. And Mr. FixIt loved it!

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We were in such a hurry to eat, we didn’t have anything with the Tomato Pie...but it would have been lovely with a nice green salad and a glass of wine if you choose. A luscious end of summer treat made extra special with our own tomatoes. You know me...I don’t really cook with recipes so writing it like this is the best I can do and you should be able to duplicate it in your own kitchen. If you try it, let me know how it tasted!

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It’s “Feel Good Friday” and cooking up something yummy in the kitchen on the Ponderosa makes me feel really good!

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❤️

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“Everything that lives and moves about will be food for you. Just as I gave you the green plants, I now give you everything.”

\nGenesis 9:3 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-09-18T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/09/18/day-ohhhhhtomato-pie.html", "tags": ["Comfort","Farm Life","Baking","Cooking","In the Kitchen"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/09/16/day-zoom-zoom-zoom.html", "title": "Day 182: Zoom! Zoom! Zoom!", "content_html": "\n
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I had my first Zoom meeting yesterday. Well, almost had it. One of the key members didn’t show so we postponed till next week. I was all jazzed to see what this Zoom thing is all about. First of all, it took me three hours to prepare for it. I wanted to use the desktop computer, but I couldn’t find my plugin headset. Our computer doesn’t have Bluetooth so I couldn’t use the wireless headset. I finally figure out I could used the plugin headphones on the laptop while using the laptop’s microphone. It was quite a chore.

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I wanted to used one of those really cool backgrounds like I see some of the celebs use when they are on Zoom. But, I would have had to have a green screen and I just didn’t have the inclination, nor the time, to waste on it. It all worked out and maybe I’ll figure out that background thing before the next meeting.

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I don’t remember if I told you...our new neighbors have chickens! I’ve always wanted chickens and to hear a rooster crowing. This way, I don’t have to feed them or keep them safe yet I can still hear the hens clucking as they scratch around the neighbor’s house. And that rooster! Close enough to hear...far enough away to not be annoying. So now when my friends come to camp with me, they can hear real farm animals! My country cred just went up immensely. 

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Oh, the nights are getting so much cooler now. Our high yesterday was in the upper 70’s but Monday night’s low was 51 degrees. We threw an extra cover on the bed out in the camper. I wouldn’t let Mr. FixIt shut the windows, though. I like a cool room with warm blankets. It’s so cozy!

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When I was finished on the computer yesterday, I went out to ride the lawnmower and got the two big fields finished before dark. I had to come in and put on a flannel shirt before I was done, though. The air has a definite chill to it now. There are some leaves falling already. I didn’t have time to work in the kitchen at all yesterday other than to do the dishes and clean. I’ll have to find some time today to get something done in there.

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I always have good intentions to get certain chores done on certain days. It makes me think of the calendar in Martha Stewart Magazine. You know the one...September 3rd, pull the spent flowers from the south garden...September 9th, harvest the gourds...September 17th, mulch the roses. You know as well as I do, these are the orders she’s giving the hired help. I had to let my hired help go. They were nipping at the cooking sherry and stole the silver. lol

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I guess I’ll just do what I always do. Look at what needs doing and do it...one chore at a time. It keeps me honest....and usually pretty tired.

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❤️

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“No matter how much you want, laziness won't help a bit, but hard work will reward you with more than enough.”

\nProverbs 13:4 CEV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-09-16T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/09/16/day-zoom-zoom-zoom.html", "tags": ["West Virginia","Comfort","Farm Life"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/09/15/day-hummingbirds-hollyhocks.html", "title": "Day 181: Hummingbirds \u0026 Hollyhocks", "content_html": "\n
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I met my classmate’s sister in the McDonald’s parking lot yesterday and traded my wide mouth canning lids for the coveted regular size. Three for three...even Steven. At the same time, two of our grandkids met us with their sweet little boy....our first great grandson. It was all I could do not to pull him out of his car seat and kiss him all over. I haven’t held my babies since February! But, ohhhhh...it was so good to see them. 

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Honestly, that was all we planned to do, but one thing led to another and we didn’t get home till after 6:00 last night. That is the nature of a trip to town when you live out in the country. You try to squeeze all the errands you possibly might need to do into that one trip and hopefully you don’t have to make another one for a while. 

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We did the usual...bank, post office, Sams, grocery store, and checking on a friend’s house while he’s away. On a whim, we decided to stop in Kohl’s. There are a couple of things I’ve been looking for and I hoped to find them there but alas...no luck. On our way home, we stopped for a sandwich. The last think I want to do after a day of running around is to cook. 

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One of you wrote yesterday asking where I got our yard flag. Honestly, I can’t remember, other than it was locally. I looked online and found a website that sells the same flag. You can look in the comments on yesterday’s post and find the link if you’re interested. I loved this flag as soon as I saw it. I’m crazy about hummingbirds and even though we had our feeder out at the appropriate time with the correct feed and changed it regularly, we just didn’t have as many hummers this summer. 

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I love the deep red hollyhocks. The only time I’ve ever had hollyhocks was when Hubby #2 was doing his residency. We lived in an old farmhouse surrounded by more modern mid century houses. After researching, I found out that this area had been a dairy farm at one time. The house we lived in was the main residence for the farm. There were old flowerbeds around the house and I did my best to be an urban farm girl and bring them back to life. I planted garnet colored hollyhocks along the sand-colored brick on the front porch. On hot summer evenings, as the sun began to dip low and turn the air to spun gold, the hummingbirds would bob and weave and dive their way around the yard, fighting for a sip of the sweet nectar. Daughter #1 and I would sit in the front porch swing...the sound of the chain squeaking as we swayed back and forth and the darkness closed in around us.

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There was a lot of traffic on Holly Street and I would do my best to tune it out and focus on what little night sounds I could hear in the busy neighborhoods of east Denver. Crickets. The whine of mosquitoes around our ears. The distant bark of a dog. I would rock and close my eyes and pretend I was back home on the farm in West Virginia. I swear...I missed home more than anything in this world and would count the days till I could hop on a plane and come see my family.

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Now, as I write this, I’m laying in a camper...the windows thrown open. The night air is cool and tonight we’ll need an extra blanket as it’s supposed to get down to 51 degrees. There are the crickets. And the katydids. The whine of a mosquito and the sound of the neighbor’s dog announcing a possible four-legged interloper. This time, it’s the occasional car that passes up the road out front that breaks the stillness instead of the other way around.

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I still marvel at this scenario. There was a time that I didn’t dare dream I could live here again...let alone live on five acres where I can grow anything I want. Or care for Grandma’s house and stay there whenever I want. Or find my BFF from high school and marry him. I am living my dream. There is only one thing that would make this life better...having my Colorado family closer. That would be absolute perfection!

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But...this is pretty darned close!

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❤️

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“You have shown me the path to life, and you make me glad by being near to me. Sitting at your right side, I will always be joyful.”

\nPsalms 16:11 CEV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-09-15T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/09/15/day-hummingbirds-hollyhocks.html", "tags": ["Family","West Virginia","Comfort","Wisdom","Choices","Be Joyful!","Farm Life"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/09/14/day-so-this-is-what.html", "title": "Day 180: So, This is What a Weekend Off Feels Like?", "content_html": "\n
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A cozy “faux fall” day at the Ponderosa.

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I’m “retired”. I asked Mr. FixIt how we ever did all these things plus work time and a half and raise babies. He said we were a heck of a lot younger back then. True...but even two years ago, I wasn’t doing half what I’m doing now. I think part of that has been coping with Covid. Part has been the fact that I cannot eat all this Covid Comfort Food without working it off or I’m going to become unhealthy. Part has been an escape mechanism. But a very real part has been the sheer joy of celebrating life in the country with my best friend...gardening, mowing, trimming, growing, baking....aching! It just feels good, so I keep doing it.

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Taking two whole days off seemed decadent after the work we’ve put in the last few months. I kept thinking there was something I should be doing...or COULD be doing. Something more productive than football. I baked that cake on Saturday. I fixed us a nice brunch yesterday after online church. It was a lovely “faux fall” day. It rained off and on all day. It stayed cool. And the fog started rolling in by 5:00. It was cozy, and just what the doctor ordered.

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One of our fellow readers contacted me Saturday after reading I had wide mouth jar lids and needed regular. Her sister wanted to trade with me so I’m meeting her today...three boxes each. I only have eighteen quart and maybe eight pint jars left. I need to go out to the farm and get the food processor to make my End of the Garden Relish. I also need to shake up the vanilla extract I have steeping and check to see how the brine is coming on the dill pickles. Also, I need to pressure wash the smoker...I still haven’t gotten it cleaned since the last use.

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Sunday Brunch at the Ponderosa...eggs, bacon, fried potatoes, and toast with my new plum jam. Yummmmm!

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Our next big outdoor chore is putting an extension on the drain pipe out at the creek. When the big rains come, the creek washes mud, dirt, and rock up over the drain. If we extend the pipe out another ten or twelve feet, there won’t be so much to dig out next time. We’ll have to go back out to the farm in the next week and take the pole saw to some more trees. Preventive maintenance is huge when you have so many acres to care for.

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I hope you enjoyed your weekend and you have a good week!

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❤️

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“The earth and everything on it, including its people, belong to the Lord. The world and its people belong to him. The Lord placed it all on the oceans and rivers.”

\nPsalms 24:1-2 CEV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-09-14T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/09/14/day-so-this-is-what.html", "tags": ["Comfort","Farm Life","Cooking"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/09/02/day-the-art-of-the.html", "title": "Day 168: The Art of the Letter", "content_html": "\n
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I’ve been missing my Colorado peeps a lot this summer...especially now. This is when I would have been saying goodbye and driving back to West Virginia after a month of fun with the kids and my brother. Instead, I have to be satisfied with a weekly video chat with them. Don’t get me wrong...I am grateful for that connection. But, it’s not the same, you know?

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Big is a junior in high school now. She’s past that awkward stage where a conversation is mostly one sided when she answers in single syllable words. Now we text back and forth easily and I love catching up with her. 

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Now it’s Little’s turn to be the quiet, withdrawn one. That is odd for me, because she was my chatterbox. I’ve been trying to reach her without necessarily engaging through more screen time. They get enough of that as it is. Her other grandma was a teacher and she suggested I write letters and exchange artwork with Little. So, last night I went and bought some lined paper and some colorful pens and I’ll sit down to write to her.

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Writing a real handwritten letter seems so foreign these days. I have a handful of letters I’ve saved over the years...letters from my mom and my grandma. I’m hoping Little will be receptive and write back to me, but even if she doesn’t...maybe someday she too will have a small stack of letters from her Nana to go back and read.

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Yesterday was quiet and peaceful, albeit hot and sticky. I worked on my webpage. I put more tomatoes in the dehydrator. We walked at the park after supper. We have a planned power outage at the house today, so we’ll probably run to town and do errands for a while. After running full speed for the last several weeks, I didn’t realize how tired I was till I stopped. It doesn’t hurt to have a few slow days.

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❤️

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“If you are tired from carrying heavy burdens, come to me and I will give you rest. Take the yoke I give you. Put it on your shoulders and learn from me. I am gentle and humble, and you will find rest. This yoke is easy to bear, and this burden is light.”

\nMatthew 11:28-30 CEV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-09-02T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/09/02/day-the-art-of-the.html", "tags": ["Family","Comfort","Peaceful Moments"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/08/29/day-step-onepick-tomatoes.html", "title": "Day 164: Step One...Pick Tomatoes", "content_html": "\n
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Earlier in the season, I wasn’t at all sure I would get many tomatoes. Blossom end rot was decimating my crop, but I changed the feed and...wham! They are coming on like gangbusters now. I had another bucket ready yesterday morning and...they don’t know a day off from nothin’! 

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I went out and got the crocks of bread dough from the garage fridge first thing so I could bake in the cool of the day. When you bake sourdough bread in a dutch oven inside your kitchen oven, you have to heat it up to 500 degrees. It doesn’t take long till your house is overheated...even at 9:00am. I have a window fan so I put it in the kitchen window and exhausted as much of the heat out as I could before the outside temp climbed.

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I am thrilled with the success I’ve been getting with my sourdough bread. I have read that the longer you bake sourdough, the more wild yeasts grow in your environment, and the tastier your bread becomes. I’ve been getting a really nice “oven spring”, as well. That’s the amount of rise you get in your bread in the oven before the crust gets too hard to expand. The cuts I make on the surface helps that as well as the way I form the dough before I set it in the fridge to raise slowly overnight. One of the loaves was at least 5” high before I cut it in half. The cutting kinda smashed it down a little.

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As soon as the bread was done, I considered just stopping for the day, then I checked my tomatoes and I cannot stand to lose even one. So, I scalded them in boiling water, dropped them in ice water, slipped the skins off and cut the core out. Then I gave them a quick flip of my wrist to extract the seeds and dropped the pulpy tomatoes into my cooking pot. When I was finished cleaning the tomatoes, I strained the seeds from the juice in the bottom of the bowl and added it to the pot. I set it on a low flame and when the juices started to simmer, I used my immersion blender to chop up the tomatoes but stopped short of actually puréeing them. I let the sauce simmer all day, seasoning it here and there to my tastes.

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Later in the afternoon, we made a quick trip to town for meat and mushrooms for the sauce and finally sat down for a feast at 6:30! I didn’t actually get my day off. But, Mr. FixIt mowed because I was busy inside, so I didn’t have to do that. Maybe today will be my real day off! lol

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❤️

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“It is useless to get up early and stay up late in order to earn a living. God takes care of his own, even while they sleep.”

\nPsalms 127:2 CEV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-08-29T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/08/29/day-step-onepick-tomatoes.html", "tags": ["Fun","West Virginia","Gratitude","Comfort","Farm Life","Baking"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/08/27/day-if-at-first-you.html", "title": "Day 162: If at First You Don’t Succeed...", "content_html": "\n
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Round three of the “snaking the drain” saga. I had some things to do first. Run to the nearby Piggly Wiggly and pick up the pork picnics I ordered. Make the pork rub. Rub the pork and get it in the smoker. Clean and prepare a bucket of Roma tomatoes and load the dehydrator. Feed the sourdough starter and make a batch of sourdough pancakes with the discard. Clean up the kitchen. THEN I could go downstairs and help Mr. FixIt.

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We wanted to run the snake down that drain at least once to make sure it was open. We painted a line on the cable the first day to indicate where the point of resistance was. Tuesday we could get all the way down...fifty feet. But, for some reason, yesterday the cable would not feed beyond that point. We fussed with it...pulled it back...sent it down again...same thing.

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That’s when we noticed the cable was all jammed up in the drum. We turned everything off and unplugged the unit for safety, then manually pulled the cable all the way out. Easy peasy. However...as soon as we tried to run it back in, the cable would just flip around and twist on itself. I straightened that thing our three times...no easy feat. We brainstormed different ways to get that cable to go back into the drum but we came up with blanks.

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Then, Mr. FixIt said, “We COULD go read the instruction manual.” This, from the man who already read the manual three days ago so I didn’t bother reading it. I can’t say a word, though. I didn’t think of reading the directions either. I went in and read the instructions and within two minutes, I went back downstairs and stuffed that cable in manually. Bingo!

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We ran the snake down one more time and it went the entire fifty feet with no resistance. The cat snuck in the basement...again. She bit Mr. FixIt when he picked her up...again. She’s a pistol. It was getting to be a lot of fun at our house and I was hangry. *sigh*

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I heated up pizza for supper. I couldn’t believe it was 5:00 already. The pork came out of the smoker at dark and went in the crockpots to slow cook overnight. I used Diet Pepsi this time for the broth. The tomatoes are dehydrating nicely but they take a while here in West Virginia. We had an inch and a half of rain on Tuesday so the sky was hazy with humidity and that will slow the process. 

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I fed the sourdough starter before I headed in to write so I can start the bread this morning. I checked on the sauerkraut and it’s coming along...bubbling and fermenting well. I’ll also be canning this smoked pork and putting the dehydrated tomatoes in olive oil to preserve them. I cannot believe it’s Thursday already...time is just getting away from me. 

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I think I’m taking tomorrow off!

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❤️

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“Hard work is worthwhile, but empty talk will make you poor.”

\nProverbs 14:23 CEV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-08-27T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/08/27/day-if-at-first-you.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","West Virginia","Comfort","Farm Life"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/08/20/day-celebrating-farm-life-in.html", "title": "Day 155: Celebrating Farm Life in the Kitchen", "content_html": "\n
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Yesterday was tomato day. I took my soup pot out to the garden and picked every tomato that was ready. With the pot full to overflowing, I headed back into the kitchen and commenced working them up. I thought I would have tomatoes coming out of my ears this year with twenty-one plants, but up to this point...we’ve only been getting a handful at a time. Not enough to do anything with, but too many to eat. We’ve given a few away and we lost a lot to blossom end rot. I’ve been told by experienced farmers that this hasn’t been the best year for tomatoes. Seems about right since it’s the year WE decided to go whole hog.

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I was in my canning prime in my early 30’s. I was telling Mr. FixIt yesterday, it wasn’t anything for me to put up a bushel of green beans, a couple flats of tomatoes, and a couple flats of pickles up over the three day weekend of Labor Day. I would have jars of food spread everywhere, stored in boxes under the bed and on shelves in the basement. I’d give jars away as gifts. I was prolific. Now? Ahhhhh...the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.

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I set to with my big pot of tomatoes. I elected to use the Foley Food Mill method to get a smooth, seedless and skinless sauce that I could use in a soup or a creamed tomato gravy. Optimistically, I washed six quart jars. I washed, cored and quartered my tomatoes and put them in the canner since that’s the biggest pot I have with a heavy bottom that wouldn’t scorch them. I turned the flame to medium and started mashing the tomatoes with a potato masher to get the juices flowing. I kept a close eye on them, mashing and stirring and adjusting the heat till they were soft and tender.

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I removed the canner from the fire and scooped up the stewed tomatoes into the food mill. If you haven’t used one of these, they’re pretty handy. There’s a kind of slanted plate that draws the tomatoes over a screen and presses the juice and flesh out while keeping the seeds, skins, and any coarse fibers in the pan. You empty it and fill again and repeat till you’ve processed all the tomatoes. Then, you have this wonderful, smooth tomato juice.

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Now, what you want your end product to look like will determine how long you simmer your juice over medium heat. You stir frequently. I wanted mine to be the consistency of store bought tomato sauce....a sort of thick, pulpy juice. When I was satisfied, I ladled the hot sauce in the hot jars with about a tablespoon of lemon juice in each jar for extra acidity, wiped the rim with white vinegar, centered a hot jar lid and screwed it down with a jar ring. Then I placed them in the boiling water bath, adjusted the water level from the simmering tea kettle, and timed them for 35 minutes from the time they reached a rolling boil.

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I got...get this...TWO QUARTS!

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Yes...all those plants, all that hoeing and weeding and watering and feeding and babying those tomato plants and I got two quarts of juice. I have discovered this. You do just as much work to can two quarts as you do to can twenty. I should have bought more tomatoes to add to mine. When Mr. FixIt called from town to see how I was doing (he was looking for a replacement chain for the pole saw) I told him I was really disappointed. He said, “Look at the bright side. You know exactly what went in those jars.” Ever the optimist...we are a good match.

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As soon as the jars were in the water bath, I set to making a peach-blueberry lattice top pie. I reached back to my baking contest days and used my never fail pie crust that has lard in it. SO not good for you...SO flavorful. Then I made the recipe that won me a blue ribbon in the Carbondale Mountain Fair sometime back in the early ‘90s. I hadn’t made it in years and forgot it needed instant tapioca, which I did not have. I used flour...and not enough of it. So the pie is soupy....really soupy. But flavor? OMGosh...knock your socks off awesome! Served warm in a bowl with a spoon, it just couldn’t be beat.

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By the time I was done with the pie and had it in the oven, the jars of tomato sauce were ready. I just turned off the heat and let them sit while I fried up some bacon for BLT’s. I had a big tomato...still warm from the sun. And a head of butter-crunch lettuce from the greenhouse down the road. It was meal fit for a king. 

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Oy! I can feel my arteries crackling. 

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❤️

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\n

“I have provided all kinds of fruit and grain for you to eat.”

\nGenesis 1:29 CEV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-08-20T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/08/20/day-celebrating-farm-life-in.html", "tags": ["Fun","Comfort","Farm Life","Baking"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/08/19/day-the-sacred-harp.html", "title": "Day 154: The Sacred Harp", "content_html": "\n
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Part of my new “quest for inner peace” has been exploring the history of my people here in Appalachia. The other day, when I felt so terribly lost and downtrodden in this messy world we are living in, I started reading a book by Foxfire Press about Aunt Arie...an octogenarian who lived in the Appalachian Mountains of Georgia. She was interviewed by the students who comprised the Foxfire program and became...by far...the most beloved and unforgettable character featured in their books.

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As you know, when you go searching for information on something specific, the internet can be a treasure trove of delights to the senses. A search for Foxfire sent me to their Foxfire Heritage Museum...bought and developed by students with the proceeds from the books they published through Foxfire Press. Foxfire Heritage sent me to Appalachian Heritage. And somewhere along the line, I stumbled upon “shape note music”. 

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I was a singer in school and was a member of choirs from sixth grade on through high school. I’ve always loved to sing. And, somewhere back in the recesses of my mind, I recalled hearing about shape notes but had never really studied it. Google rescued my weary heart by plopping me down in the middle of a world I never knew existed...nearly in my own back yard.

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The “Sacred Harp” is not only a book of music composed with shape notes. It alludes to the human voice as an instrument...the sacred harp. Shape note, or sacred harp music, has a rich history. It was brought to America and quickly spread as a kind of worship music when there were no instruments. The music is based on either four or seven shapes, depending on your source, with each shape corresponding to a specific note.

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This is not a kind of performance music. Shape note singers perform for each other...not for an audience. They sit in a square and the person leading selects the song. The singers go through the music singing the notes by their names...fa, sol, la, mi. Then the next round, they sing the “poetry”...the lyrics. The music is sung in four part harmony and it sounds old and rich and holy.

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I found a wonderful page I want to share with you from the West Virginia Public Broadcasting website discussing the history of shape note singing and how the Covid Pandemic has affected their gatherings. On this page, you will find a twelve minute recording, a short two minute video of Sacred Harp singing with an explanation, and a collaborative project consisting of Shape Note Singers from around the world brought together virtually to sing Page No. 146: Hallelujah.

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I hope you enjoy this as much as I have. It has offered me a strange kind of peace. The music moves me in a way that goes deep into my past generations...a sort of institutional or genetic memory. The kind where you know how to do something but there’s no reason you should because you’ve never done it before. I feel this same connection when I enter land where my forebears lived, even though I’d never been there.

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Tomorrow, we will talk about another kind of virtual choir performance that one of my dear friends took part in. Till then...be good to each other.

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You can find the story on Sacred Harp Singing HERE.

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❤️

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“When I was really hurting, I prayed to the Lord. He answered my prayer, and took my worries away. The Lord is on my side, and I am not afraid of what others can do to me.”

\nPsalms 118:5-6 CEV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-08-19T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/08/19/day-the-sacred-harp.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Comfort","Peace","Peaceful Moments","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/08/18/day-ahhhhthats-more-like-it.html", "title": "Day 153: Ahhhh...That’s More Like It!", "content_html": "\n
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I can almost feel the stress melting off my shoulders by the moment. After the last few hectic weeks, and then backing off from social media, I am much more centered and relaxed. The fact that the nights have been cooler and we’ve been “camping” out in our field at the Ponderosa. Sleeping in my camper always makes me a happy girl!

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I worked on the website for a few hours yesterday while Mr. FixIt was at the dentist. When he got home, we hooked up the trailer and took the mowers out to the farm. We got about halfway there and the road was soaked. It was so cool to watch the steam rising up from the hot asphalt after the rain that had just passed through. It wasn’t too much further that the road was dry. We bet each other whether there was rain at the farm. I said there was...and I won. Not a bet I wanted to win, though. The grass was thick and wet and not easy to mow.

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When we were at the farm last time, we noticed that the internet wasn’t working. I called to report it and left my phone number but never heard from anyone. I sat down to call and was on hold for quite some time when I looked out the window to see the neighbor’s garden. Lo and behold, there on the bird seed bin was a brand new modem the phone guy left for me. I hooked it up and we were back in business in five minutes flat!

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Once the lawn was mowed and I had a good thirty minute video chat with Daughter #1, we packed back up and headed home. I told Mr. FixIt that I felt we definitely deserved ice cream after all that so we stopped at the Piggly Wiggly to get some. We happily munched out on a Magnum Double Caramel bar on the way home!

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As soon as we had everything unhooked and put away, I made a beeline for the camper to write. It was a little stuffy after being closed up all day, but it was soon cool and comfortable from the strategically placed fans. We don’t have a single thing planned till the 29th! I’ve been letting the tomatoes ripen and I think today is the day to get them picked and canned. Seriously, it won’t amount to much once I cook them down. As soon as the garden is finished, it’s camping time for us! 

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I feel a hundred pounds happier!

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❤️

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“Our Lord, we belong to you. We tell you what worries us, and you won't let us fall. But what about those people who are cruel and brutal? You will throw them down into the deepest pit long before their time. I trust you, Lord!”

\nPsalms 55:22-23 CEV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-08-18T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/08/18/day-ahhhhthats-more-like-it.html", "tags": ["Faith","Health","Overcoming Obstacles","The Farm","Gratitude","Comfort","Wisdom","Peaceful Moments","Choices","Change","Farm Life"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/08/17/day-crisis-fatiguestepping-away-with.html", "title": "Day 152: Crisis Fatigue...Stepping Away With a Soft Heart", "content_html": "\n
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When is too much WAY too much? Where do you draw the line and say enough is enough? How do you step back when you just can’t do any more?

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I eased my world a lot the last couple of weeks when I snoozed, unfollowed, unfriended, and...yes...even blocked a few people on my personal Facebook page. My decision to stop posting, forwarding, and commenting on anything remotely controversial and/or political helped a lot. I’ve even stepped out of a few chat rooms with really wonderful people for no other reason than I just can’t take one more thing right now.

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I don’t know about you but I’m facing a very real case of crisis fatigue. When the human body is presented with a crisis situation, it produces cortisol...the hormone responsible for our fight or flight response. That’s really handy if you happen to be camping and a great big bear wanders across your path. The heightened attention and rapid response is meant to save your life. But, this year has been like walking into the International Convention of Pissed Off Grizzly Bears....every...single...day. When that happens, it doesn’t take long for the wheels to come off the bus.

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Increased anxiety. Insomnia. Weight gain. Hypertension. Cushing Syndrome. Relationship distress. Even bone loss. All can occur from prolonged elevated levels of cortisol. Plain and simple...it’s just not good for you.

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According to an article in WIRED Magazine written by Matt Simon... \"Crisis fatigue manifests itself on two levels. On a societal level, it can tempt people to collectively throw up their hands and give up on civic engagement. 'Why not, if we’re going to hell in a handcart? Let’s just enjoy tomorrow.' Matthew Flinders, founding director of Sir Bernard Crick Centre for the Public Understanding of Politics at the University of Sheffield, told WIRED earlier this week.\" 

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Since 9/11, we have had multiple episodes of acute crises...wildfires, financial strife, social unrest, politics, Covid, job loss. Basically, the sound of the planes hitting the Twin Towers has echoed through every part of American life for the last twenty years. If there is that much havoc in our lives, isn’t it really a small thing to step back a little from the tiny screens that are occupying so much of our waking moments?

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I write every day...I have to. It’s a part of who I am and what I do. But, when I get my screen usage report and it tells me just how much time I am spending on these devices, I realize that isn’t healthy either. I have this one group of girlfriends whom I dearly love. We went to high school together. We are each other’s cheerleaders. We are there for one another as we face the challenges of life. And, as much as I love them, we get chatty in that room and by the end of the day we can easily have fifty or more notifications pinging on our phones.

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I know...I cant turn off the notifications, but I suffer from FOMO...fear of missing out. I’m like my grandma in that regard. If the phone rang, she’d break her neck to get to it so she could find out who was calling. It may have been someone she really didn’t care to have a conversation with at the time, but by golly...she wasn’t going to miss out on the possibility it was someone else. So, when the phone “pings”, I have to pick it up. I read. I respond. I set the phone down. Someone else responds. “Ping!” Pick up. Respond. Set down. It’s crazy.

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If I didn’t have anything else going on in my life, it wouldn’t bother me a bit. And, I feel a bit silly...a little guilty perhaps...but I had to step away. I sent them loving messages and said, “It’s not you...it’s me. I can’t right now. I’ll be back someday, but right now? I just can’t.” They get it. They’re feeling it, too. Maybe they don’t know there is a name for it. Maybe they don’t know how to step back...or maybe they don’t need to.

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I think the bottom line here is...you can step away with a soft heart. You don’t have to hurt anyone’s feelings or get agitated or up in arms. You can just be honest. It’s all so much. Yes, I could have just turned off the notifications and picked up the phone when I had time. But, I’d still be spending the same amount of time reading the updates and catching up.

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It’s not like the individuals in the group can’t reach me or vise-versa. We are still friends on Facebook. We are still connected and are but a text away should someone want to reach out. Between that, shutting down websites and forwarded sources that I do not want to see, and snoozing several of the more vocal suspects, I felt a collective sigh of relief once I was done.

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It’s ok to step away. When I think of all the things I am apt to miss, it’s decidedly my peace of mind that I miss the most. I’m well on the way to lowering those cortisol levels and promoting some peace in my life. Because here’s what happens when you step away from something. You make space between you. And, you can allow that space to be used for parking the offenses between others and yourself.

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Best they sit in that space unattended than to sit in the space between your ears.

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❤️

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“God's Spirit doesn't make cowards out of us. The Spirit gives us power, love, and self-control.”

\n2 Timothy 1:7 CEV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-08-17T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/08/17/day-crisis-fatiguestepping-away-with.html", "tags": ["Health","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Comfort","Fear","Courage","Warning","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/08/15/day-just-an-old-granny.html", "title": "Day 150: Just an Old Granny Grump", "content_html": "\n
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When my grandma got old and we’d ask her how she was doing, she’d say, “I’m just an old Granny Grump!” I have no idea how old “old” was to me at the time, and I surely didn’t grasp the full nuance of the term “Granny Grump”. But, I think I’m beginning to get it.

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Ok...I’m not old, but I’m feeling like it lately. And I’m definitely feeling grumpy. Just ask my poor husband. It’s hard when you go on Facebook and you see your friends out doing things and you aren’t. It makes you wonder if maybe you’re being silly with all these Covid precautions. I mean, really...what harm could it do to hop on a plane or hook up the camper and drive across the country? I want to go camping. I want to go out to dinner. I want to go to Daytona Beach. 

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I want my life back.

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I know. You do, too.

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This isn’t easy. And getting ready to head into the winter months, feeling like this will never ever end can easily turn anyone into a Granny Grump. When we got home from town yesterday, I hopped on the mower and mowed the whole property. I can do a lot of thinking while I mow. I zipped past the camper and thought, “I could do it, you know. I could just pack that bad girl up and hit the open road and be in Colorado by the middle of next week!!!” Man, I miss my kids and grandkids and brother and friends. Mr. FixIt and I have been together more in the last 150 days than Mr. Virgo and I were in the entire seven years I knew him. I’ve never spent this much time with anyone and being the kind of person I am...I know full well I am much NICER when I have a little tiny bit of space to call my own.

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Then I remember how awful it was when I found out what being really alone felt like. And I start feeling a little guilty about wanting some space. Because I know about grief and loss and aloneness. And...being careful what you wish for.

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There is a difference between wanting to be alone and wanting a little space and time to recharge. Thank God, Mr. FixIt is pretty much back to being his healthy self. I still wouldn’t feel comfortable pulling the camper all the way to Colorado without him this summer, though. That’s too far away and not enough time has passed since the strokes. Then there’s the whole virus thing...so, here I am.

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I’m just feeling a little stuck. And, I know I’m not the only one. 

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This is a tough time we are going through, considering everything that has happened this year. I am reminded of something I wrote about a long time ago. You can put an egg and a potato in boiling water. One will become hard. The other soft. The temperature of the water is the same, but what they turn into depends on what they are made of.

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I will not let my present set of circumstances harden me. 

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This, too, shall pass.

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❤️

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“If you are a husband, you should be thoughtful of your wife. Treat her with honor, because she isn't as strong as you are, and she shares with you in the gift of life. Then nothing will stand in the way of your prayers.”

\n1 Peter 3:7 CEV\n
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#JustSayin, #Grumpy, #Stuck

\n\n", "date_published": "2020-08-15T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/08/15/day-just-an-old-granny.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","Peace","Anger","Forgiveness","Choices","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/08/14/day-a-cool-dip-shooting.html", "title": "Day 149: A Cool Dip \u0026 Shooting Stars", "content_html": "\n
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The last couple of days have been super, super busy. I put about thirty pounds of pork in the smoker on Wednesday after I pulled the bread out of the oven. We bought a full rack of ribs and two pork picnics. Those are the pieces of meat that are often cured and turned into picnic hams. We found a good deal at the local Piggly Wiggly and I wanted to stock up on pulled pork for the winter. 

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I don’t know if you have ever used an electric cabinet-style smoker or not. They are really easy to use and turn out some dynamite smoked meats. However...they are a booger to clean. The first couple of times I used it, I carefully scrubbed it by hand till it looked brand new when I was finished. Now, I take the power washer to it and call it good. Consequently, I usually only smoke meats about once a year. I load the smoker as full as I can without overcrowding it then I’m done till the next year.

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We don’t have a great freezer. It’s old and the seal is loose. It’s not a frost free freezer either and it desperately needs thawed out. Therefore, I elected to can the pulled pork in jars this time. I loaded the smoker and got it running around noon on Wednesday. The goal was to reach an internal temperature of 203 degrees. At 1:00 yesterday morning, I was only at 168 and it wasn’t rising fast. I elected to removed the two roasts and put them in slow cookers on low for the rest of the night. I didn’t really have any broth, so I poured a can of 7UP and a can of water over them and put the lids on for the night. I had removed the ribs long before and sealed them in a plastic bin in the fridge for dinner last night.

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Yesterday morning, I gathered all my canning supplies. I put the jars through a hot cycle in the dishwasher while I shredded the pork. I mixed up a combination of a quart of beef broth, a quart of chicken broth, and two more cans of 7UP and set it on to simmer. I packed the jars, put in a little salt, topped with the broth, sealed the jars, and slipped them in the simmering water of my pressure canner. Once they were all loaded, I set the lid on, let it boil for ten minutes without the pressure cock, then set it at 10 pounds pressure. Once the pressure gauge started rattling, I processed the jars for 90 minutes. When the time was up, I just turned the heat off and let the pressure slowly normalize. I carefully opened the canner and let the jars sit in the water for a while to acclimate to the room temperature then finally lifted them with the jar lifter and set them on a soft clean towel to rest for 24 hours before I wash the outside of the jars with Windex so they sparkle. All seven quart jars sealed. If you’ve ever canned...you know that is music to the ear.

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I spent the rest of the afternoon copying more posts over from Facebook to the blog and when the sun went over the far ridge, I took the power washer out back and cleaned the smoker. It will sit slightly open overnight to dry, then tomorrow I’ll close it up and put the protective cover over it to protect it till the next time I decide to smoke meats.

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I checked on the fire in Glenwood Canyon throughout the day and spoke with my brother’s caseworker. They are still carefully watching the fire and will evacuate the clients if they need to. We wondered if perhaps he could stay with a family member, but Covid has ruled that option out. It’s ok, though. My brother isn’t at all afraid or worried about this...especially if his roommate is with him. They have their “bug out bags” packed and are ready for whatever comes their way. 

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As I am writing this, it is storming here in West Virginia and I am praying for a steady, gentle rain for Colorado to assist the firefighters. Please pray they get a handle on these fires and everyone is safe. The fire is getting dangerously close to the homes of friends of mine and they have been evacuated. It’s so difficult to be this far away and I can’t be there. But, I just have to pray and offer my brother encouragement from here.

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The best treat at the end of a long hard day was going out after it was pitch dark and taking a dip in the pool Wednesday night. Mr. FixIt didn’t join me, but he sat on the deck and we watched the meteor shower. It was a hot and sticky night and the water was cool and refreshing. We saw several “shooting stars” and it was one of the sweet memories I’ll tuck away for when I’m old and sitting in my rocking chair. ?

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❤️

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“Our Lord, you are eternal! Your word will last as long as the heavens.”

\nPsalms 119:89 CEV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-08-14T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/08/14/day-a-cool-dip-shooting.html", "tags": ["Positive Energy","West Virginia","Comfort"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/07/23/day-planting-peace.html", "title": "Day 127: Planting Peace", "content_html": "\n
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I saw a video yesterday that warmed my heart. A little girl smashes her fingers in a door. Her mama instructs her to take a deep breath. She asks her a few questions and when the little girl remembers she smashed her fingers, she puckers up to cry again. Her mother never once tells her not to cry. She acknowledges her daughter’s pain and comforts her in a way that gives the little girl power. Not only power, but the opportunity to participate in love. In loving herself. In loving her mom. All without a meltdown or worse...a tired and frustrated mom yelling at her child to quit crying.

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I remember when my daughters were little ones. I treated them so differently. Because, I was barely twenty-one when the first one was born. I knew about as much about parenting as I know about astrophysics. When she fell down, she was instructed to get up and brush it off. Consequently, it made her tough. She is a rock and can do all the tough stuff. The downside of that is, we expect her to be the rock and do all the tough stuff. I sometimes wish I would have held her and rocked her when she hurt instead of putting such expectations on her. She is an excellent mother to her girls. I can see my parenting style in her. We live what we learn.

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I was in a far different place when Daughter #2 came into the world. Her daddy was already an established physician in the small mountain community we lived in. I was thirty-six, nearly thirty-seven when she was born. We had a level of affluence I couldn’t have even imagined when my first daughter was young. There were a lot of things going on in my life when she was little and I mothered her entirely differently. I knew this was my last baby and I wanted to soak every ounce out of the experience. That wasn’t always in my daughter’s best interest. Still, she grew up with a passionate intensity. She was much more in tune with her emotions and shared them at will. Which wasn’t always in MY best interests.

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You cannot compare one child to another, even when they are raised in the same family. They each have their own personalities. But the one thing I think I really got right was teaching my children to love. To have great empathy. To hold others in high regard. To have compassion. To plant peace wherever they go. I love that about them. They may do it in different ways, but they have great hearts....and I am so, so proud.

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This sweet little one captured my heart. She will always know she is loved, and she is worthy.

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❤️

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“Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him.”

\nPsalms 127:3 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-07-23T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/07/23/day-planting-peace.html", "tags": ["Family","Comfort","Love"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/07/19/day-comfortable-seatingcoming-up.html", "title": "Day 123: Comfortable Seating...Coming Up", "content_html": "\n
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If you’ve been following me any length of time, you know I went through a huge downsizing after Mr. Virgo died. And I swore I would never accumulate another dang thing...SWORE. Yet, here I am, happily remarried. And the stash is growing. In my defense, there was a lot of stuff when I got here. And, in all actuality, we haven’t purchased a heck of a lot since we got married. But since Mr. FixIt’s strokes, we have noticed his arthritis is bugging him a lot more because he can’t take the medications you typically take. Yesterday, we decided to go take one more stab at finding a comfortable chair for him.

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We went Friday to just about every place in town and didn’t like anything. This time, we hit pay-dirt. Belpre Furniture had dozens of recliners to choose from. I’ve gotten to the point I bypass the “bargains”. Bottom of the line merchandise ends up costing you in the end because it wears out or breaks before too long and you have to replace it. I’m also past the point of buying the best there is. I’d rather buy mid-range and get the best quality I can.

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We ended up with matching La-z-Boys in “claret”...a deep wine red that will look nice with the blue/grey sofas we already have. When I had my home in Colorado, I had Ralph Lauren ladies’ wingback recliners. Perhaps not the most comfortable, but they were so stylish and the living room looked so “put together”. Now? Heck...I am all about comfort. I really do not like how these overstuffed recliners and sofas look. But I also do not care because if I’m going to sit down for any length of time with my sweetheart, I’d better be able to get up without frowning and having to walk, wincing till my joints get the cricks out of them. I also hope getting a new, more supportive chair will help my hubby feel better, too.

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The part of me that went through that downsizing is groaning. But the part of me that likes a little more “cush for the tush” is a happy little camper. Oh, another downside of Covid...it will take ninety days to get them. I told him there was absolutely no hurry. So, here we are...two new pieces of furniture. What’s next? End tables? An area rug? Will this madness ever end? lol

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❤️

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“By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established; through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures.”

\nProverbs 24:3-4 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-07-19T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/07/19/day-comfortable-seatingcoming-up.html", "tags": ["Fun","Comfort","Downsizing","Farm Life"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/07/09/day-hot-enough-to-fry.html", "title": "Day 113: Hot Enough to Fry an Egg", "content_html": "\n
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We are just a couple of weeks into summer and the heat is oppressive. When they say it’s not the heat, it’s the humidity...they’re wrong. It’s both. I remember all those summers I flew home to West Virginia with a child in tow, arriving to the welcoming arms of my loving family. It was usually late July, early August and I would disembark the plane and step into what felt remarkably like a full fledged sauna. When you can SEE the air and you know it’s not pollution, you know your skin is going to be “dewy” and your clothes are going to stick to you before you can drag your suitcases to the rental car.

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When we visited West Virginia, we usually stayed out at the farm. Sometimes it was up in the top of the cellar house...sometimes upstairs in the main house. Either way, when we went to bed, it was SO hot and there was no air conditioning. We did have fans, and that helped some, but my younger daughter’s favorite memory is the “moon baths” we took out back just after dark. We stripped down, lathered up with warm water from a bucket, and then took turns pouring panfuls of cool water from the rain barrel over our heads. It was so refreshing, and the best way to end the day.

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These days, Mr. FixIt and I head to the pool out back and swim for an hour or so at the end of the day. We float and watch the lightning bugs as the stars come out overhead. The air feels like velvet at this time of year. Even though the water temperature was 90℉, it still felt good...especially when you get out and the breeze cools you off. It’s a lovely way to slow down and catch your breath.

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We did the usual watering in the gardens yesterday. We had a really hard rain in the late afternoon, but it didn’t last nearly long enough to soak the ground. I wore shoes this time...that bee sting is still swollen and itchy. The tomato plants grew six inches in a day...and we are getting lots of little tomatoes and some peppers and squash. We watched a movie in the afternoon when it was too hot to do anything else. I walked around the corner of the house and got dive-bombed by wasps so I had to get the spray after them. They were really aggressive. 

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The internet guy came and checked a few more things and said he’s done all he can do for us...it must be the service. It worked great for a couple of hours after he left and then it was down again for four hours. I called and they said they changed some sort of setting in the modem and to try again. It came back on so we’ll see if it stays on. If not, we’re going to have to come up with something else.

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Today I am heading to the farm so I can do the taxes with some assurance the internet will stay on. Hopefully I can get the air conditioner to work out there. It’s always something, isn’t it?

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❤️

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“Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.”

\nJames 1:12 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-07-09T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/07/09/day-hot-enough-to-fry.html", "tags": ["Family","Comfort","Farm Life"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/06/16/day-finallythe-perfect-loaf-of.html", "title": "Day 91: Finally...The Perfect Loaf of Bread!", "content_html": "\n
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I think I’ve been playing around with this sourdough for a couple of months now. My first loaf was kinda sad and disappointing. The English Muffins were divine. The second loaf was worse than the first. I believe I could have used it as a door stop! It was dense and dry and didn’t resemble traditional sourdough in the least.

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I kept feeding my starter and getting it really active and bubbly. At the same time, I dove headlong into researching the intricacies of sourdough. It turns out, there is as much artistic feel for the dough as there is science involved. I came across some YouTube videos that were extremely helpful. They led me to the book, Tartine Bread. Mr. FixIt said I could get whatever I needed for my bread baking forays as my birthday gift. So, I bought a cast iron dutch oven and the Tartine Bread book.

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I’ve been studying it carefully for about a week. There are copious photos illustrating each step of the process. This particular recipe is for the Basic Country Loaf and is enough for two loaves of bread. We happened to have a large Dutch oven so until my smaller one comes, I used the one we have. It worked fine...just heavy and awkward and when you are dealing with a cast iron pot that is 500℉, you want something that isn’t quite so unwieldy. 

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It took all day Sunday to get the loaves ready for the final rise. But the time they got to that point, it was 10:00 at night and I was NOT going to wait another three to four hours for that rise, then another hour and half to bake (forty-five minutes per loaf, one loaf at a time.) Fortunately, there was a paragraph that let me off the hook. It said if you weren’t prepared to bake at that point, you could cover the bowls of dough and place them in the refrigerator for up to twelve hours. Eureka! In the refrigerator in the garage they went!

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Yesterday morning, I cranked up the oven to 500℉ with the empty cast iron Dutch oven inside. When it came to temperature, I got it out and set the loaf in on parchment paper, scored the top of the loaf, put on the lid and popped it back in the oven. I turned the heat down to 450...still MUCH hotter than I ever would have imagined baking a loaf of bread. Twenty minutes later, I took the lid off the Dutch oven and was amazed at the oven spring the loaf had attained. It was pale with a shiny skin on it and nearly filled the Dutch oven. It baked uncovered for another 25 minutes and when I took it out, I could have cried. It was that beautiful.

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I took it out, paper and all, and placed the cast iron pot back in the oven and cranked it back up to 500℉. When it was ready, I repeated the whole thing. Unfortunately, I forgot to turn the heat down to 450 this time and the loaf was a little darker than I would have liked. And it didn’t attain quite the same degree of oven spring as the first loaf because the higher heat killed off the yeast before it could get that lovely rise. Still, both loaves were lovely and a far cry better than either of my first attempts.

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I have such a sense of accomplishment! The Tartine Bread book comes from Tartine Bakery in San Francisco. He designed the recipe so you could make loaves that look exactly like their bread. I didn’t have his same starter, of course. Nor did I have freshly milled flour, but the bread I made certainly held its own in comparison. When you thumped on the bottom of the loaf, it sounded hollow. The recipe uses a very hydrated dough and you can tell all that moisture got cooked off. The crumb was tender and airy with almost a custard feel on the tongue. It was not overly sour which was nice. I made toast with it right off. Then we had sandwiches with it for an early supper.

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The only thing that gave me any trouble was the crust. It’s beautiful, but we don’t have a single knife at the house that could easily slice it...not even the electric knife. A friend suggested a Cutco bread knife. I’ll have to do some research on that. In the meantime, the daytime temps are rising this week, so no bread baking for me for a while. I’ll make some English Muffins, though. I can do those in an iron skillet on top of the stove. And, it looks like last night was probably the last in the camper for a while, too. At least until we get the power run out there.

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I wonder what my next project will be?

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❤️

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“But he answered, “It is written, “‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.’””

\nMatthew 4:4 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-06-16T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/06/16/day-finallythe-perfect-loaf-of.html", "tags": ["Comfort","Peaceful Moments","Farm Life"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/06/11/day-the-storm-is-raging.html", "title": "Day 86: The Storm is Raging", "content_html": "\n
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One of the things I missed the most when I lived in Colorado was grand thunderstorms. Lighting flashing and thunder crashing, echoing through the hills and valleys as a storm passes through always brings a warm feeling to my heart. One of my earliest memories of 1st grade was sitting at my desk in the old school building with the huge windows down one wall. The sky was nearly as dark as night and great flashes of lightning arced through the clouds. Soon, fat raindrops started hitting the windows...first here, then there...till the glass was covered with a torrent of rain that blurred the view of the neighborhood beyond. 

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I remember I had a piece of construction paper on my desk and was drawing with colored chalk. I loved drawing with chalk. I loved the smell, the feel of the dust on my fingers, the way you could blend the colors. I felt like a real artist because all I had ever used up till then was a small box of crayons and a No. 2 pencil. When I experience a thunderstorm, I’m transported back to the safety of 1st grade when my biggest concern was which color to use next.

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Yesterday was another really hot and humid day. While I thought for sure we were not going to have to go to town, we ended up having to make the trip anyway. We forgot to pick up Mr. FixIt’s medicine on Tuesday and we needed to pay our personal property taxes. There’s something I don’t get. We have to pay taxes every year for things we already bought and paid taxes on. It aggravates me every time I pay them. We didn’t have that in Colorado. Anyway, once the sun started to drop below the far hill, I went out and mowed the back fenced-in yard around the pool and Mr. FixIt ran the weed eater. When we were done, we jumped in the pool to cool off. What a treat for our labors. I ran Mr. FixIt through his water exercises and we got out about a half hour before the storm hit. 

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I find it fascinating that I can pick up my phone an look at live Doppler radar and watch a storm approaching. My grandma could sit on the front porch, listen to the wind and watch the leaves on the trees and know a storm was imminent. When she got older, she could tell by the joints in her hands when the rain was coming. I’m beginning to be able to do that, too. All day yesterday, I kept getting sharp pains in the joints in my hands and the storm came by 10:00pm. I always thought it was interesting when I saw myself turning into my mother. Now I’m seeing myself turn into my grandma. It’s pretty cool, actually.

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The rain came in sheets and the thunder rolled all around me as I was writing this. It was such a welcome break from the pain I’ve been feeling in my heart with all the sadness in the world lately. I have this constant feeling that the tears are just above my heart...that I’m constantly choking them back. It’s grief...just as surely as any grief I’ve felt before. I’m grieving for so many things lost. And right in the middle of it, I can prop myself up against the pillow at the headboard of my bed, close my eyes, and let the storm that rages on the outside soothe my heart on the inside. Maybe thunder is the language of angels.

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❤️

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“Father, glorify your name!” Then a voice came from heaven, “I have glorified it, and will glorify it again.” The crowd that was there and heard it said it had thundered; others said an angel had spoken to him.”

\nJohn 12:28-29\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-06-11T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/06/11/day-the-storm-is-raging.html", "tags": ["Gratitude","Comfort","Peaceful Moments"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/06/02/day-a-day-at-the.html", "title": "Day 78: A Day at the Farm", "content_html": "\n
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The second clutch. I think one egg didn’t hatch.
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Once I finished mowing at the Ponderosa, I spent a little time in the kitchen preparing some homemade real vanilla extract to steep. I will be giving them as Christmas gifts, so I place three vanilla beans in each bottle...two cut beans into one inch pieces and leave one whole so it looks pretty. I poured a cheap vodka over them and sealed each bottle. I stored them away in a cool, dark cupboard in the dining room. Then, once a week, I’ll shake them up to keep things loose in there. By Christmas, the extract should have a deep, rich taste from the Madagascar beans and smell divine.

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When I was done in the kitchen, we loaded the mower into the back of my truck and headed to my favorite place in the whole wide world....my grandma’s farm. I can’t believe how much the grass grew in just six days. I wanted to get it done before the heat hits today so I don’t have to work outside so much. Mr. FixIt is getting stronger and was able to do some weed-eating while I mowed. I still had to take a few breaks to cool off.

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As I was mowing down by the road, I found these flags blooming under the elderberry bush. They are so delicate and the waning light set them off with a soft glow. There are blossoms coming on the elderberry bush so I am hoping to harvest some berries for syrup. It’s an excellent natural immune booster.

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When we got home, I transplanted my pepper plants and three of the squash plants into the two large containers I painted yesterday. The bunnies are back so I don’t know if I’m even going to bother planting beans this year. They just eat them off at the ground once they’re about three inches tall. Our tomatoes are abysmal this year. We bought them so early and they really needed to be transplanted in larger containers about a month before they went into the ground, but there was just too much going on to accomplish that. I told Mr. FixIt not to worry about it. I’ll just buy my vegetables at the farmer’s market this year. Next year, I’m going to build a container garden along the fence so I can have beans without feeding the bunnies. I was hoping the cat would keep them away, but no such luck.

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And that was the end of my day. We have camped in our field several nights in the last week. Last night was the end of the really cool nights so we may end up back in the house...we’ll see. I love being out there and “pretend camp”. I see my friends starting to get out there and enjoy their campers and travel again. I hope there will come a time when I can do the same, but for now, I am content to stay here with my sweetheart while he’s still recovering and having physical therapy.

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I may bake something yummy again today. It is my therapy.

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❤️

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“Give us this day our daily bread.”

\nMatthew 6:11 KJV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-06-02T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/06/02/day-a-day-at-the.html", "tags": ["Camping","Comfort","Farm Life"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/05/31/day-how-to-stay-positive.html", "title": "Day 76: How to Stay Positive in Troubling Times", "content_html": "\n
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I am seldom at a loss for words, but yesterday about did me in. From hateful politics to the death and destruction of natural disasters. From long weeks of a horrifying pandemic to the wanton disregard of Memorial Day revelers. From the tragic pictures of a man held under the knee of a police officer till he died...on camera...to the pictures of hordes of people rioting in the street. The sheer chaos just breaks me.

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It’s easy to feel like we are standing on the edge of a cliff and there’s a whole crowd of people pushing us from behind. For every picture, for every news story, for every horrifying event...there are stories behind it, beneath it, through it. There are forces at work here breathing death into this chaos. There are evil doers who are fanning the flames of discord. There’s more to this story than we are seeing.

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How can we stay positive in times like this? We can’t “unsee” these things. We can’t “unknow” this information. Sometimes things are just so awful we can’t fix them and we can’t ignore them. We can’t hide from them and we’re left feeling unsafe, insecure...frightened.

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As I walked out the back door last night and headed to the camper to write about all of this, I was immediately greeted with several gifts. The sun was setting, casting a golden green light over the land I am so privileged to inhabit. The evening was cool and a breeze carried the scent of peonies and honeysuckle across the meadow. And, as I snuggled back against the pillows, iPad at the ready, the mockingbird outside the window regaled me with her evening repertoire. This is when I felt the Holy Spirit reach out to soothe me and remind me of these comforting words to share with you.

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“The Lord is my light and my salvation, whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life, of whom shall I be afraid?”

\nPsalm 27:1\n
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“It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you, he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.”

\nDeuteronomy 31:8\n
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“He sets on high those who are lowly, and those who mourn are lifted to safety.”

\nJob 5:11\n
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“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.”

\nJohn 14:27\n
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“I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”

\nJohn 16:33\n
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“If I say ‘Surely the darkness shall cover me, and the light about me be night,’ even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day, for the darkness is as light with you.”

\nPsalm 139:11-12\n
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“Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved.”

\nPsalm 55:22\n
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“Let your steadfast love comfort me according to your promise to your servant.”

\nPsalm 119:76\n
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I have no answers as to the state of the world. I am gobsmacked by it all. I can’t make sense of it. I’ve been through troubling times before, but this is just crazy...unlike anything I have ever experienced. I do know this, though...the statement “Do not be afraid,” appears 70 times in the Bible. So, I do the only thing I can do. I run to my Dad for his protection and comfort. He is always there for me. He will never leave me or forsake me. He allows me the space to find the comforting gifts he leaves in my path...like a jar of Redbud Jelly and a bag of Sourdough Starter from Texas. The ability to turn those things into English Muffins. The heady aroma of honeysuckle and the evening song of a mockingbird.

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I don’t know how God can love us so much...but I’m surely glad that He does. 

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❤️

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“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.”

\n2 Corinthians 1:3-4 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-05-31T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/05/31/day-how-to-stay-positive.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Comfort","God"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/05/30/day-back-in-the-kitchen.html", "title": "Day 75: Back in the Kitchen", "content_html": "\n
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I’ve been itchin’ for the kitchen all week and finally got to spend the day in my “food lab”. I started out putting soy beans on to soak so I could make tofu before the end of the day. I meant to set them out the night before, but I forgot. In order to make them plump up faster, I covered them with hot water to give them a jump start, then set them aside while I went on to the next idea.

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I bought blueberries on special a few days ago and I knew if I didn’t use them up somehow, I was going to lose them. So, I mixed up half a cup of water and a tablespoon of fresh lemon juice with half a cup of sugar, a pinch of salt, and a tablespoon of cornstarch. I stirred in three cups of fresh blueberries and brought them to a boil over medium heat and cooked them till they were thickened and glossy. Then I poured them into an airtight container and popped a beautiful container of Blueberry Sauce to be served over ice cream or cake or yogurt. Yummmm!

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Once that was done, I fed three jars of sourdough starter that I have going. One is for a friend. One is my regular starter. The third is my experimental starter. I’m thinking of turning it into a sweet starter to use for a Southern Sourdough Bread recipe I found. Once the starters were fed and put away to incubate, I mixed up a big batch of Whole Wheat Sourdough Pancake batter and that’s what we had for brunch. 

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The thing about sourdough...it rarely tastes the same every time you use it. It grows and changes and picks up new wild yeasts. And it gives off more and more acids and that’s where sourdough gets its name....it’s very tangy. You can increase the tanginess artificially by adding citric acid, or you can let it rise overnight in the refrigerator. My pancakes are always tangy now because they use older, more acidic starter. Yesterday’s were delicious and I don’t think I can ever go back to pancakes from the box again. They’re much too....blah. 

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Once brunch was complete, I mixed up a dough for English Muffins and set it to rise. By this time, I was ready to get outside and get some sunshine. I took down all the bird feeders and filled them. I took down the old hummingbird feeder and threw it away. I don’t know what it is about that feeder, but the hummers just don’t love it. I filled and put up the one from the farm. Hopefully, the little velociraptors will return.

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I sat down to watch “Grant” with Mr. FixIt. I tried...I really did...but I just couldn’t stick it out. I kept thinking of the million other things I could be doing instead and I begged my leave. I went back to the kitchen and cooked up a double batch of spaghetti sauce and sweet it in the crockpot to simmer and thicken. 

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I ran the soaked soybeans through the soy milk maker...two loads this time...and strained the solids from the soy milk. I saved the thick, damp solids (called okara) and put it in an airtight container and stored it in the fridge. There are things I can do with that. We’ll talk about that when we come to it.

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Once the soy milk was heated then cooled to around 170, I gently mixed in a liquid nigari solution to start the curd process. Once the fluffy white curds began swimming in the lightly yellow whey, I scooped them out and placed them gently in a cloth lined tofu box. But this time, Mr. FixIt was tapping his foot...it was time to leave for therapy. I placed the lid on the tofu box and set a quart jar of dried beans on top to gently press the extra whey from the bloc of tofu and make it a nice firm texture. My preference for slicing and cubing for cooking.

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A quick trip to town, Physical Therapy, post office, a takeout picnic from Olive Garden (because it was date night!) and a stop at the store finished of the town trip. As soon as I got home, I had to unbox the tofu, place it in the storage container, cover it with fresh water, and pop on the lid. Stored in the fridge, that block of tofu will feed us several meals and remain fresh all week as long as I change the water every day. I stored the three jars of starter in the fridge, then prepared the English Muffin dough for its final rise before cooking. While it was rising, I did the dishes and wrote this post. Tomorrow, I’ll show you the final step in cooking the English Muffins.

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Another good solid day of “fun work”. Another good kind of tired at the end of the day. It’s supposed to be cool the next few days so I’m looking forward to some field camping this weekend!

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❤️

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“Go, eat your food with gladness, and drink your wine with a joyful heart, for God has already approved what you do.”

\nEcclesiastes 9:7 NIV\n
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#Food, #Baking, #Comfort

\n\n", "date_published": "2020-05-30T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/05/30/day-back-in-the-kitchen.html", "tags": ["Fun","Comfort","Farm Life"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/05/29/day-a-blessed-day-off.html", "title": "Day 74: A Blessed Day Off", "content_html": "\n
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I thought for sure, after having to spend all that time in lockdown here at home, I would never look forward to an “at home” day again. But, I was wrong. Yes, I was supposed to make Sourdough English Muffins yesterday. Did that happen? Ummmm, no. I could tell you it’s because I haven’t found a recipe I like yet, but the real reason was, I enjoyed watching a movie with Mr. FixIt yesterday afternoon...something I so rarely do. It was a suspense thriller with Tom Hanks. Who doesn’t love Tom Hanks? So I “forced myself” to sit through it, then I took a nap. It felt like sheer decadence and I felt like a million bucks when I got up.

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Work will always be there. There are things you really can’t put off, like mowing, or else you might as well contract with someone to come bale the hay. The grass grows like crazy this time of year. We had 1.75” of rain Wednesday during the night. Nope, can’t put off mowing. But, you can put off doing the dishes five times a day or cooking complicated meals. You can take naps or sit on the deck with a cold beverage and watch the cat chasing butterflies. Or, you can just sit still and “be” while the birds sing and the bees buzz.

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This is a heavenly time of year and it’s what I crave throughout the winter months. I remember one summer I spent the entire four months inside working on projects. When fall came and I finally sat down on the front porch with a coffee, an overwhelming sadness came over me. I realized it would soon be too cold to enjoy that and I had wasted my precious, finite summer. I’ve never made that mistake again. If I can be outside, then I’m outside!

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I did do one project yesterday. We have this drainage problem in the back stairwell outside. We keep a couple of sump pumps going in the bottom to get the extra water out that gathers there when we have heavy rains like we did Wednesday night. We pump the water out into the yard where it does two things, it runs down into the garden and makes it too wet...and it further saturates the ground in the yard. That water has to go someplace, so my analytic mind presumed it was percolating back down through the soil and we were pumping the same water out over and over.

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I decided to think like a Roman...the ones who built the aqueducts to deliver water throughout the city. I lengthened the hoses by attaching a second hose to each one, and ran them to the other side of the yard. There was already a slight ditch along the sidewalk to all for the grass trimmer. I laid the hosed so they would drain down that ditch. That worked great till it got about 6 feet from the gate. There is a low place in the lawn there and I knew it would soon fill with water and run back across the sidewalk into the part of the yard I needed to dry out.

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I had a eureka moment when I took a sod cutter and extended that ditch down past the gate and allowed the water to drain in an entirely different area far from the house. It will water a maple tree and the honeysuckles over there. Voila! I corrected the problem and quit recycling the same water over and over. I know it isn’t a permanent fix, but it works till we find a more permanent solution!

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So...a movie, a nap, a couple little projects, and time with my sweetheart all while staying home on the Ponderosa. That is a perfect day, if you ask me!

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Self-care isn’t self-ish.

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❤️

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“Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.”

\nRomans 12:12 NIV\n
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#Hope #Patience, #Affliction

\n\n", "date_published": "2020-05-29T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/05/29/day-a-blessed-day-off.html", "tags": ["Family","Comfort","Peace"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/05/23/day-call-lowesim-building-an.html", "title": "Day 68: Call Lowe’s...I’m Building an Ark!", "content_html": "\n
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Hokey Smokes! It has rained 20 inches so far this year in our neck of the woods. We waited all day yesterday to get enough warm sunshine to dry out the yard so we could mow one more time before my step-son comes to get his riding mower today. Mr. FixIt had physical therapy and we needed to find a couple things for the old tractor to work on it today. By the time we got back home, the skies opened up again and we were back to square one.

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Hopefully today is a nice day and we can mow and be good for another week, at least. I mean...on the one hand, when it rains you don’t have to mow. But, on the other...the grass grows like crazy with all that wonderful moisture. It’s a Catch-22. We also need to take the push mower out to the farm and mow out there. And this time, Mr. FixIt can’t help. I’m definitely going to get back in shape with all this exercise!

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I hate that I’m not spending as much time in the kitchen as I was. It’s so soothing to me to create good things that nourish my family...and our wounded spirits. We have nowhere to go this weekend...our people are coming to us to help with mowing and welding and fixing things that need fixing. I can spend some time in the kitchen and bake them some treats to take home. That will soothe my heart and bring me peace.

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I’ve been thinking about my Aunt Peeps a lot this week. While she was a sophisticated woman with impeccable taste in fashion, she was a country girl at heart. She once told me, her main goal in life was to get a teaching degree and use it to make enough money to buy a farm in West Virginia. I don’t recall seeing her can and preserve food, but she was quite the cook. She didn’t quilt or sew, but she could work sunup to sundown with any man and give him a run for his money. She was an enigma. Tight as a drum with money, yet incredibly generous when she saw you were trying to improve yourself through education. She was your cheerleader if you were a hard worker. She deeply appreciated a good work ethic and had no patience for someone who she felt was lazy or “working the system.”

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She and I didn’t always see eye to eye about things, and I talked WAY too much for her tastes, but...we had one thing in common and that was the love we felt for Grandma’s farm. She was born in Pekin, Illinois along with two of her siblings. Grandma and Pop-Pop were living there during the Depression where work was to be found. When they finally came back home, there were already four children. Two were born after they moved back to West Virginia. The Farm was where they grew up. It’s where I grew up, too.

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My Uncle Bud came home to the farm last weekend to pick up some things that belonged to Aunt Peeps. He needed to find a picture of her for her obituary. I didn’t get to see him because that was the day Mr. FixIt came home from the hospital. I spoke with him this week and he was so pleased with how well we are caring for the family home. He said he was worried it would begin falling apart without someone living there full time, but I told him we go there often enough to breath life into the old place.

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There are some things that are failing...like the big barn and the old tool shed. They are starting to lean and there’s termite damage. But overall, the place looks great for being nearly a hundred years old. I still yearn to go there often to just rock on the front porch and listen to the birds and the wind in the trees. Everything is aging...the old home place, the tractor, the Ponderosa...and us.

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These are the things that went through my mind as I sat pretending to read while I watched my sweet husband having physical therapy. We’ve known each other since we were kids. But we’ve only been together a little over three years. We’ve both changed a lot in those three years. This marriage isn’t like the marriage of my youth...where time stretched before us like an endless summer vacation. This is the marriage where we get to wrap each other up in warm, comfy love and ride the long wave home. There’s no fooling ourselves. Oh, we aren’t at death’s door....but it is Autumn now. And, there is much comfort knowing I’ll be going through this with my best friend at my side.

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❤️

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“In all things I have shown you that by working hard in this way we must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’”

\nActs 20:35 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-05-23T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/05/23/day-call-lowesim-building-an.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Overcoming Obstacles","West Virginia","Comfort","Love","Wisdom","Courage","Aging","Choices","Change","Farm Life","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/05/18/day-are-we-still-counting.html", "title": "Day 63: (Are We Still Counting These???)", "content_html": "\n
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It seems like every little event needs counting now. Days since the lockdown began. Days since Mr. FixIt’s first stroke. Days since the second...which is actually the third since he was unaware of the first one. Thankfully, he came home from the hospital yesterday at 11:00. I can already tell this time it’s going to be more of a challenge getting him to slow down and take care of himself. I’m just as stubborn as he is though...I will prevail!

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The world seems so different now...different expectations...different realities. We are still practicing social distancing and will continue to do so. We wear masks wherever we go except in the car, at home, and at the farm. I keep the masks in the car and the heat from this sun is surely enough to kill any virus that they may have picked up. I was really glad to get Mr. FixIt out of that hospital. He had a private room...which I assume is the standard now whenever possible. Still, I didn’t like having him in there, for many reasons.

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We did have a socially distanced visit with some of the family yesterday and that did us all a world of good. They needed to see my sweetheart and know that he is doing well. Our youngest little great grandson smiled and talked to me like he’d seen me yesterday and it was all I could do not to scoop him up in my arms and kiss those sweet cheeks! I miss all my babies...big and little. 

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My kitchen forays were interrupted over the weekend, but I am pleased to say the Blackberry Jam DID set up a little more. It’s not really jelled...but it is spreadable and I had some on toast yesterday morning. I think it didn’t set normally because it is low sugar. As my grandma said...it’ll be ‘et!

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There are more adventures in the kitchen coming up soon. I am going to make some sauerkraut, bagels, and some homemade vanilla this week. Stay tuned for more culinary delights right here on Marshmallow Ranch! You know...in between doctor’s visits and mowing and stuff. 

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❤️

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“Every moving thing that lives shall be food for you. And as I gave you the green plants, I give you everything.”

\nGenesis 9:3 ESV\n
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#Cooking, #Family, #Gratitude

\n\n", "date_published": "2020-05-18T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/05/18/day-are-we-still-counting.html", "tags": ["Comfort","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/05/16/day-busy-insidebusy-outside.html", "title": "Day 61: Busy Inside...Busy Outside", "content_html": "\n
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This week flew by. All these projects keep me from dwelling on the time creep and we wrapped up the week with a bang! Mr. FixIt got the mower deck off the old tractor to get it welded. I fed the sourdough and made a batch of blackberry jam. Unfortunately, it didn’t set so I need to do it over today. Just repeat the process and add more pectin. I cut the fresh tofu in half inch cubes and set it in the fridge to marinate for supper. Harvested the alfalfa sprouts I’ve been growing in the kitchen. I saved the blackberry containers to use to keep the sprouts fresh in the fridge...score! I drained the coffee elixir from my Toddy brewer for cold brew. So that’s ready for some delicious iced coffees in the coming weeks. We tilled the garden and planted fifteen tomato plants, two hills of squash...one yellow crookneck and the other zucchini, and I planted some extra squash in a planter I have. I like to let the squash get really big, then cube them up and can them like bread and butter pickles. I washed dishes a hundred times. I took lots of pictures to share but I’ll wait till the jam actually sets. Then I will share some. Till then..I’m done. This was a beyond tired day but we needed to get it done before the rain comes again.

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The big news is, I made stir fry with the marinated tofu, broccoli, cabbage, mushrooms, egg, jasmine rice and a couple of handfuls of the fresh sprouts I harvested yesterday. We ate out on the deck by the pool and Mr. FixIt looked at his supper and started naming the ingredients. When he said “chicken”, I just smiled. He looked at me in surprise. 

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“That’s tofu?”

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“Yep! What did you think?”

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“Pretty good!”

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That’s Mr. FixIt speak for “delicious!”

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Score!

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❤️

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“and to aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we instructed you, so that you may walk properly before outsiders and be dependent on no one.”

\n1 Thessalonians 4:11-12 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-05-16T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/05/16/day-busy-insidebusy-outside.html", "tags": ["Fun","Gratitude","Comfort","Peaceful Moments","Farm Life","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/05/12/day-still-the-sweetest-thing.html", "title": "Day 57: Still the Sweetest Thing", "content_html": "\n
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So, after my virtual meltdown on my blog yesterday, Mr. FixIt and I had a really beautiful day. We’ve been binge-watching West Wing and we are down to the last disk in the collection...the final three episodes. We have really enjoyed this series and I was thrilled to introduce my husband to its intricacies. I think he had only watched a couple of episodes back when it was on the air, and it’s one of those shows you really should watch in succession in order to bond with the characters.

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We decided in the afternoon to head up to Marietta, Ohio. It’s a college town, so there’s a level of sophistication mixed with Midwest charm that I find really cool. I never really spent time up there when I was growing up. Going to Marietta would have been a BIG trip for us...it was in a whole other state! Granted, you could SEE that state from the house I grew up in, but still...it seemed so far away.

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After we finished our errands, I asked Mr. FixIt if he’d like to go over to Barlow, Ohio to Seaman’s Mercantile to check it out. When we were at the nursery last week getting tomato plants, the owner shared her love for canning with me. We were chatting about the best place to buy jars and lids when she told me about Seaman’s and I just had to check it out.

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The original business in the building was started in 1857. The business has changed hands, and names, over the course of time and has been owned by Charles and Kara Seaman since 1983. I fell in love the second I crossed the threshold. There were flyers to the left of the door advertising butcher pigs and other assorted farming interests. The front window was filled with canning supplies. There were little treasures to be found at every turn.

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I went with a singular purpose. I wanted to buy a large sieve to drain tofu, yoghurt, and cheeses. I knew what I was looking for but couldn’t find it in the local shops. When I went around behind the cooler filled with soft drinks, there it was...hanging on a nail high above my head. I climbed up the step ladder and plucked it off the hook. While I was up there, I spied a clear plastic half gallon jar with a screw on lid that I could use for storing dry goods so I picked that up. I also noticed a box of canning and pickling salt. I want to try my hand at making sauerkraut and you can’t use table salt. The iodine will ruin the kraut. Bingo...just what I needed.

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As I was checking out, Mr. Seaman and I struck up a conversation about canning and preserving. He told me he had a couple of glass jars this same size if I was interested. They were a good price so I picked them up as well. They will work as my pantry storage for flour to keep it fresh. The owner at Sim’s Greenhouse told me about a large stainless steel canner that is made by the Amish. She had just received one for her birthday and it came from Seaman’s. It’s huge! It is a large rectangular box and fits over two burners. It was $121. I was tempted...but decided to wait and see how much I actually can this year. I told Mr. FixIt, if I were thirty years younger with a large family, that would definitely be a worthwhile investment. I just don’t know if I will be canning the kind of quantities that would justify such a purchase, so I passed...for now.

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It turned out to be such a lovely “date day” and we were reminded yet again why we really do enjoy each other’s company. You can find Seaman’s Mercantile HERE.

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❤️

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“Prepare your work outside; get everything ready for yourself in the field, and after that build your house.”

\nProverbs 24:27 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-05-12T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/05/12/day-still-the-sweetest-thing.html", "tags": ["Family","Fun","Comfort","Farm Life","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/05/07/day-making-friends-with-my.html", "title": "Day 52: Making Friends with my Oven...Morning Glory Muffins", "content_html": "\n
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The first time I ate a Morning Glory Muffin was in the late ‘80s at The Daily Bread Bakery & Cafe in Glenwood Springs, Colorado. We were new in town and I was told it was the place to go for great food and a congenial atmosphere. The walls were full of paintings and photographs by local artists...some of whom have gone on to be quite successful. I first saw the paintings of Dean Bowlby, Dan Sprick, and Arlene Law’s work there. All brilliant artists. This was the place where I sang “You’ve Got a Friend” with Carole King!

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The big draw at Daily Bread were John and Terry...the owners. They really got to know you and were genuinely happy to see you, each and every time you came in...one of the pleasures of small town life. I always ordered a particular salad without croutons and add extra chicken and avocado. Invariably, when John got the order, he called out from the kitchen...”Ginny’s here!” It always made me smile.

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I have played with my recipe for Morning Glory Muffins till I found just the right balance between moisture and delicate flavors. I’ve added things like Greek yoghurt...something that wasn’t a “thing” back in the ‘80s. Bran muffins don’t have to be dry and boring. These are SO yummy and moist. The molasses gives them their dark color and earthy flavor.

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Ginny’s Morning Glory Muffins

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Preheat oven to 400 degrees.

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Stir the dry ingredients together then add:

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Using a rubber spatula, fold all ingredients together till everything is moistened and there are no dry pockets of flour. Don’t overwork.

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I like big muffins so I use the pans with six muffin cups. Spray each cup with nonstick spray. I like to use Baker’s Joy. Using a ladle, fill each cup leaving about a half inch head room. This recipe makes 9 large muffins.

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Bake in a 400℉ oven for about 20-25 minutes. Remove from oven and let cool in the pan for about 5 minutes then turn out onto wire racks to cool.

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These are dark and full of wonderful flavors and textures. They are not overly sweet and are packed full of good for you fruits and vegetables and dairy. It’s my favorite way to get in that extra fiber we all need.

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I was thrilled yesterday to find my sourdough starter alive and well with a fluffy, bubbly consistency. I fed it again and today it should be ripe and ready to bake with. The only thing I did differently was to warm up some water in my Instapot on the yoghurt setting, then add a little cool water till is just felt good and warm. I turned it off and set the jar with the starter in it after I’d fed it. I put the lid on it and the water stayed warm for a couple of hours. I just left it in there overnight. I think I’ve found my groove!

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❤️

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““And you, take wheat and barley, beans and lentils, millet and emmer, and put them into a single vessel and make your bread from them....”

\nEzekiel 4:9 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-05-07T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/05/07/day-making-friends-with-my.html", "tags": ["Gratitude","Comfort","Farm Life"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/05/04/day-why-were-reaching-back.html", "title": "Day 49: Why We’re Reaching Back to Foods that Comfort", "content_html": "\n
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My yoghurt turned out ok after all! It wasn’t terribly flavorful, though.
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As I was puttering around in the kitchen Saturday, this thought kept recurring. I haven’t made tofu or yoghurt or baked my own bread in a gazillion years. I know there are economical concerns at work here. And there are skills that should be passed on to the younger generations before they are lost. But it’s not that simple. Something kept nagging at me. Then I watched CBS Sunday Morning yesterday and things became clear.

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Homemade Yoghurt with Buckwheat Honey and Homemade Grapenuts
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Mo Rocca is an actor and comedian who does a segment on the show every week and yesterday’s was about comfort food. When he started talking about familiar brands, I realized the connection I was missing as to why I’m heavy into reviving old skills. It’s not really so much about the food itself, although that’s an added bonus. It’s also about the feeling I get making that particular food.

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There are a lot of Kodak moments in my life...periods when the world seemed golden and life was glorious. One such time was when Hubby #2 was in medical school and residency. We didn’t have a pot to pee in or a window to throw it out of. We often ate Hillshire Farms packs of cheese and summer sausage because I could buy them at Sears with my charge card. I made most of our food from scratch. There was nothing extra. We slept in an uninsulated sunporch in the heat of summer and the depths of winter. We worked hard and any recreation had to be free...like, bike rides and trips to the library and walks in the snow at night. 

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Baby tomatoes are growing on our tomato plants on the window sill.
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I was gloriously happy in those years. Probably because I was at that age where I didn’t know what I didn’t know. My reaching for the yoghurt maker and the organic non-GMO soybeans has  a lot to do with the feelings I associate with making those things. Kneading bread dough. Grinding soybeans. Rolling out noodles. It’s a meditative exercise and everything we see, touch, hear, taste, and smell can bring us to a safe place in our hearts and minds during such unsettling times as these. 

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It’s the same thing I feel when I walk into Grandma’s house out at the farm. That first breath in takes me to a place of personal safety. We all need to feel safe. If baking cookies or making yoghurt can bring that feeling to you, then go for it girlfriend. If you gain a few extra covid pounds, then so be it. There will be plenty of time for the news and the virus and the election down the road. Take today and make something nice for yourself or someone you love. 

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You can watch Mo Rocca’s segment on Comfort Food HERE.

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❤️

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“This is my comfort in my affliction, that your promise gives me life.”

\nPsalm 119:50 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-05-04T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/05/04/day-why-were-reaching-back.html", "tags": ["Gratitude","Comfort","Farm Life"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/05/01/day-its-feel-good-friday.html", "title": "Day 46: It’s Feel Good Friday \u0026 I’m Gettin’ Back to my Roots", "content_html": "\n
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It’s May Day! Can you believe that??? In what seems like three lifetimes ago, I was a bit of a hippie earth mama. I had all the Mother Earth News Magazines and the Moosewood Cookbook. I made all of our bread, yoghurt, tofu, pasta, granola, and Grape Nuts. I grew veggies on any piece of land available. And I frequented the Farmer’s Markets to preserve as much food as possible. I was a girl on a budget. I did all this while working full time, raising a child, and putting my hubby through medical school. What can I say...I was young and could do anything.

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I can still do all those homestead crafts, but once my second child came along and Hubby #2 was established in his medical practice, it was just easier to buy stuff than make it. Times have changed and I’m living this country farm life. And with the changes in the economy, I am picking those skills back up and dusting them off. I buy a couple cases of canning jars every time I go to the store. And I’ve slowly picked up some necessary pieces of equipment that I’ll be needing like tofu making supplies and the like. I’ll show you how I do that once I get everything in place.

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I came home from the farm yesterday. As I was pulling out of the driveway, I had to stop and take a picture of the dogwood. The hills look like they’re draped with white lace. The flowering dogwood are so delicate and airy and they don’t last very long. You can see in this photo that some of the trees are beginning to leaf out but the dogwood stand alone with their flat four petaled posies.

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I stopped at the store on the way home to pick up some Chobani plain Greek yoghurt. I’ll need about a half cup to use as starter so I can make my own. I was going to buy some whole wheat flour, then remembered I had some that had been stone ground at the mill up at Beaver Creek State Park in Lebanon, Ohio. When I got home and got everything put away, I decided to make a batch of homemade Grape Nuts.

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This is one half of the thin “cake”.
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The Amish make everything from scratch and somewhere along the line, I learned how to make this tasty crunchy cereal from an old Amish recipe. Once you’re done, store the cereal in an airtight container. It should last a while since it doesn’t have oil or eggs, but it’s so good, you won’t have it around for long.

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The “cake” has been through the food processor and ready to toast and dry in the oven.
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I’ve been trying to cut down on sugary treats but I love having a little ice cream in the evening. Last night, I put a couple heaping tablespoons of the plain Greek yoghurt in a bowl, drizzled some buckwheat honey over it and sprinkled a couple handfuls of the cereal on top. Oh, my gosh...it was amazing! Buckwheat honey has an entirely different taste than orange blossom or wildflower. It’s a dark brown and reminds me of molasses with its strong, bold flavor.

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Homemade Grape Nuts Cereal...toasted golden brown.
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Homemade Grape Nuts Cereal
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Preheat oven to 350℉.

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Mix dry ingredients together.

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Mix wet ingredients together and add to dry ingredients. Stir to make a batter similar to pancake batter.

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Line a large baking sheet with parchment or waxed paper. Pour batter onto the paper and spread evenly with a spatula. Bake at 350℉ for 20-25 minutes. Cool in pan for 10 minutes then remove to finish cooling on wire racks. 

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Break half of the “cake” into chunks and pulse in a food processor till you get the consistency of Grape Nuts. Line the baking sheet with another piece of parchment or waxed paper and spread the crumbs around into an even layer. Place in a 275℉ oven. Take them out every 10-15 minutes to stir them around. It will take about 45 minutes to toast them till they’re dry if you live in a humid area like WV. Let them cool and place in a large bowl. Repeat with the other half of the “cake”. Once the other half is finished and cooled, place the entire batch into an airtight container to store in your pantry. Serve as a topping for yoghurt or ice cream. Use as a crunchy sweet addition to a salad. Or eat as cereal just like the Grape Nuts in the box. This tastes SO much better than the store bought variety!

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So, there’s my Feel Good Friday suggestion...bake up some homemade Grape Nuts! Easy peasy and it feels good to make something wholesome like the hippie mama I used to be!

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❤️

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“So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.”

\n1 Corinthians 10:31 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-05-01T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/05/01/day-its-feel-good-friday.html", "tags": ["Health","West Virginia","Gratitude","Comfort","Peaceful Moments","Farm Life"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/04/29/day-new-life-on-the.html", "title": "Day 44: New Life on the Farm", "content_html": "\n
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I woke up yesterday, scrounged around for a clean t-shirt and quickly came to the conclusion it was laundry day. I’ve told you before, I like to do my laundry out at the farm. There are several reasons for that. First, the gas and water are free and who doesn’t like free stuff, right? Second, we have one of those new-fangled washers without an agitator. They are supposed to save power and water but you can only wash a third of the amount at a time, and the cycles last three times as long. So, I can’t figure out how that saves energy. Also, you need a degree in engineering to work the darned thing and no matter how many times Mr. FixIt shows me...I just don’t get it. It’s far easier and less stressful for me to make a bi-monthly pilgrimage out to the farm for a little R&R and laundry time.

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Going out to the farm doesn’t mean I can just throw the laundry in the truck and go. I stay at least one, maybe two or three, nights on this trips and I need stuff. An overnight bag, toiletries, medications, reading material, my iPad-iPhone-Laptop and assorted chargers, my lap desk, my fuzzy blanket that I sleep with, plus the laundry. Then I have to stop at the store on the way to the farm and get food because we don’t keep much out there. It’s quite a chore to make the trek out there and then pack it all up to come back home.

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I was emptying the groceries and assorted items from the truck yesterday when it dawned on me...I forgot the bag of clothes hangers. We partially dry most of our clothes and hang them up to finish to reduce wrinkling and shrinkage. I remembered going into the spare room to get the bag of hangers and somehow got distracted by something and left without it. It wasn’t going to do me much good to do laundry without them. And I hated the idea of driving back home to get them and coming back out to the farm...a total of sixty-six miles. 

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I texted Mr. FixIt with my dilemma. I asked if he would bring the bag of hangers out along with the push mower. The grass was in desperate need of mowing and it will be raining for the next several days. Fortunately, I have a very accommodating husband. He brought my hangers and the mower. We took turns mowing and had it done in about ninety minutes. Then I fixed us a nice early supper. We sat out on the front porch to enjoy our meal while we admired our handiwork. The birds were singing. The mama robin was swooping back and forth gathering worms for her babies nesting in the rhododendron. The creek gurgled softly next to the house.

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Everything is getting green. The wildflowers are starting to bloom. There are Trillium showing their white, three-petalled blossoms on the bank beyond the driveway. Mayapples, violets (Johnny Jump Ups), Bee Balm, Wild Blue Phlox, Snowdrops, White Clover, Dogwood, Redbud...and a variety of flowering shrubs I haven’t identified yet. I did find some of the Carolina Spicebush that I was afraid was lost to the guys who cleared out the creek last year. I’ll get more pictures today, if it isn’t raining too much.

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I do so love it here. When I walked in yesterday, I took a deep breath. I swear...my grandma will live forever in that first breath when I walk in her home. It’s like she is right there in the kitchen, welcoming us in. As I lay here in her bed, propped up on the pillows with the window wide open, I wonder what she would think of the person I’ve become. I am so vastly different than I was when I last saw her in 1998. She didn’t get to see me at my best. She didn’t get to see me as a Christian. I know that would have pleased her to no end. 

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I think she’d be proud of who I am now.

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❤️

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\n

“Wash yourselves; make yourselves clean; remove the evil of your deeds from before my eyes; cease to do evil, learn to do good; seek justice, correct oppression; bring justice to the fatherless, plead the widow’s cause.”

\nIsaiah 1:16-17 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-04-29T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/04/29/day-new-life-on-the.html", "tags": ["Faith","Comfort","Farm Life"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/04/26/day-creating-space-to-stay.html", "title": "Day 41: Creating Space to Stay and Play", "content_html": "\n
\"\"
This is where my new “campground” will be on the Ponderosa.
\n\n\n

Since I can’t take off with my camper and head for the hills, I’m having to be more creative with my favorite extracurricular activity. I decided to work on Big TOW-Wanda yesterday. I didn’t camp in her at all last year so she really hadn’t had a good cleaning since 2018. Mr. FixIt ran a power cord out to the camper and I found the surge protector and plugin adapter and got her powered up.

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Even if there wasn’t a stay-at-home mandate going on right now, I still wouldn’t be as inclined to run around the country on my own as I was before Mr. FixIt had his stroke. He is doing very well...almost back to normal. He still has a little tingling in his left hand, not quite the grip he had before, and he tires more easily. But even that isn’t the main reason I am hesitant to leave him. Coming that close to having a life altering health crisis brought to the forefront of my mind how tenuous life is...something I know all too much about. If I had been on the other side of the country on a camping jaunt and something happened to Mr. FixIt, I’d never forgive myself. It’s not fear as much as it is love and caring. I don’t like being that far away from him for too long...especially now.

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So, I’m being creative while still enjoying camping. It’ll be a whole lot cheaper to camp on our five acres. And with at least two full hookups plus lots of room for boondocking, I can host camping groups here at the house. My buds can come camp with me anytime and I don’t have to leave Mr. FixIt alone. I’ll still be here to help with chores during the day. It’s a win-win!

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The dinette is always down as a daybed in this camper. This is where I write when I’m camping.
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After we got the camper hooked up, Mr. FixIt brought the vacuum cleaner out to me and I commenced to cleaning up a zillion Asian Ladybugs and spiders and a couple of wasps that have wintered over. I sprayed wasp killer in the power cord storage area where I saw some enter last fall in hopes I can nip any nesting in the bud. The refrigerator is on and bottles of water are chilling inside. The beds are made, the floors are swept and the surfaces are dusted. 

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My first campout of the season is in the bag. It is Sunday and my day of rest will be spent reading in my tiny home on wheels...my little sanctuary.

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❤️

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“It is a sign forever between me and the people of Israel that in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, and on the seventh day he rested and was refreshed.”

\nExodus31:17 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-04-26T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/04/26/day-creating-space-to-stay.html", "tags": ["Camping","West Virginia","Comfort","Girl Camper","Girl Campers","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/04/25/day-coping-during-corona-through.html", "title": "Day 40: Coping During Corona Through Mental Health Services", "content_html": "\n
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By now you all know I am no stranger to psychotherapy. And, I have zero interest in hiding the fact that I coped with a serious seven year bout of clinical depression. There were so many intrinsic factors, most of which I don’t go into great detail about merely to protect the privacy of others. Suffice it to say, it was a perfect storm and it wasn’t pretty. It was hard and difficult to work through. I am so grateful that once I found the right therapist for me, the work became easier and affected permanent change.

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That isn’t to say I never needed to see a therapist again. I returned to grief counseling nine months after Mr. Virgo died. I needed EMDR therapy for the PTSD caused by witnessing what my husband went through from the moment he began to have symptoms in a RV dealership parking lot to the prolonged CPR in the ER to the doctor coming out from the cardiac cath lab to say they did everything they could. I saw the grief therapist for about six months before I sold my house and left Colorado.

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I would say I’ve had two...maybe three visits with her since 2014...either in person or over the phone. There is nothing shameful about seeking the help of a mental health professional. It is not a sign of weakness. If anything, it shows remarkable courage to face your inner demons and get some help dealing with whatever it is bothering you. My faith has been the raft that carries me over the waves. My therapy has been the wind God sent to move me forward.

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In the aftermath of coronavirus, we are going to see an epidemic of mental health issues. All of those on the frontline of this pandemic are going to be deeply affected by it...just as the soldiers of any war. The long hours, the many deaths, the fear of contaminating family members...these are all things that will have to be worked through. There will be issues in every aspect of life...from the elderly in nursing homes all the way down to the littles who don’t understand why they can’t see their friends and their mommy cries.

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I read an excellent article last night that talked about mental health services in the time of Corona and how you can reach out and get help even when you are self-isolating. There are numbers and websites and apps that can help connect you with a counselor to help walk you through this.

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It’s ok if you need help. It’s ok if you can’t take it right now. It’s ok if you need to talk to someone with an empathetic and knowledgeable ear. You are not weak. You are not a failure. 

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You are not alone.

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You can read the article HERE.

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❤️

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“The waters closed in over me to take my life; the deep surrounded me; weeds were wrapped about my head at the roots of the mountains. I went down to the land whose bars closed upon me forever; yet you brought up my life from the pit, O Lord my God. When my life was fainting away, I remembered the Lord, and my prayer came to you, into your holy temple.”

\nJonah 2:5-7 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-04-25T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/04/25/day-coping-during-corona-through.html", "tags": ["Faith","Health","Growth","Comfort","Fear","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/04/23/day-prioritizing.html", "title": "Day 38: Prioritizing", "content_html": "\n
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Homemade Apple Pie
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It isn’t always easy to do a do-over...those moments where life throws you a king sized curve ball and you get to reinvent yourself. There were the divorces. The overdose. Mr. Virgo’s death. The move to WV. Marrying Mr. FixIt. And now...coronavirus has sent us into timeout giving us the opportunity to rethink some things. There are very few things I actually regret doing in my life. But every single time I’ve had to rebuild or rethink has been an incredible time of personal growth.

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I received an email this week from my financial advisor with that dreaded “we need to talk” subject. I’ve expected this and was actually preparing to call her anyway. We set a time for yesterday. I sipped my coffee out by the pool in the morning sunshine while we talked about strategies and being good stewards of the funds we are entrusted with. Danielle has taught me a lot about money. I wouldn’t say I’m financially wealthy by any stretch of the imagination. But what I do have, I want to be careful with.

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My mind wandered back to when I first became a widow. I had so much to deal with....bills, debt, and planning for a future without my primary breadwinner. I had the money from my divorce settlement and I was still years away from Social Security and Medicare. I had been a “kept woman” for most of my adult life having the luxury of staying home for a portion of that as a stay-at-home mom. Honestly, I knew nothing about money and avoided the conversation like the plague. Once I became a widow, I had no choice. I had to learn.

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I didn’t handle my finances very well. Whether it was denial or rebellion or an attempt to soothe my grief with spending, money slipped through my hands like water. And, if I’m going to be brutally honest...in that first year or two, I honestly didn’t think I could possibly survive that so I might as well go out with a bang. Of course, there came a moment of clarity when I realized I had to rein it in or lose my retirement money completely, thank God. 

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Somewhere in yesterday’s conversation with Danielle, I had a lightbulb moment. I told her I didn’t know if it was being married to a down-to-earth, frugal WV boy or reaching “a certain age” or what...but I’ve suddenly felt a sort of fiduciary maturation of late. I can talk about money without my palms sweating or my heart racing which is such a relief.

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When I first started with Danielle, she asked if I wanted to work with a secular guideline or a faith-based one. I had never heard of taking a faith-based approach to financial management and that certainly appealed to me. When we talk about my retirement funds, we talk about looking at my money with intentionality. Where do I want to be in two years? God has blessed me with these funds. How can I use them responsibly?

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The spigot of spending has been turned off by this pandemic. What was once multiple trips to town per week has dwindled to one. It’s given me the opportunity to re-evaluate the shopping experience. When we come out of this, I know my own personal spending habits will be different. While the reason we are having home is tragic, we can...we MUST...learn new skills.

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My shopping list is usually in an online shopping app. I put what I think I need in my cart and leave it there for a week. Then I review it and invariably ended up either deleting items or saving them for consideration later. If, after two or three weeks, I feel it’s warranted, then I complete my purchase. My recent order included supplies to make homemade tofu. It’s been a long time since I’ve made my own. It tastes so much better than the store bought variety and it’s an affordable source of protein. I buy my soybeans from a farm in Iowa. They are organic and non-GMO. I don’t know if I could ever be a vegetarian, but I can certainly substitute meats with fresh tofu 2-3 times a week.

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I’ve cleaned up my schedule, we’re cleaning up our living space, we’re creating ways to enjoy our property without the expense or hazards of travel while still maintaining the experience, and now we’re cleaning up our diet. Well, yeah, ok...there’s pie. But I substituted part of the sugar with Splenda. Hey...one step at a time, ok?

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❤️

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“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”

\nRomans 8:28 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-04-23T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/04/23/day-prioritizing.html", "tags": ["Positive Energy","Comfort","Choices","Change","Farm Life","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/04/15/day-cognitive-dissonance-and-my.html", "title": "Day 30: Cognitive Dissonance and My World View", "content_html": "\n
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It’s a fine line we walk these days.
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Since we’ve been on the topic of mental health, we might as well broach one of the biggest crazy-makers there is. Cognitive Dissonance. I am not an expert, but I have a general understanding of this psychological concept. And it’s something that actually hurts my brain.

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It takes all kinds to make the world go ‘round. If we were all alike it would be a pretty boring world. There was a time in the not so distant past that people disagreed with each other...usually in politics or religion...and could still practice civil discourse without going off the rails in a temper tantrum. There was a time when civility and grace was a valued character trait. 

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For me, Cognitive Dissonance shows up when I look at the world today versus, say...when Mr. Virgo died seven years ago. My long held world view does not match the view of the world I see today. It’s like I woke up in some George Orwell novel or something. Or a twisted version of Oz where the Wizard is an even bigger monster behind the curtain.

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I’m not necessarily referring to party politics here, but the general state of humanity. This warp in my vision is highly disconcerting and makes me feel uncomfortable. But, it doesn’t make me pull a nutty and go off on perfect strangers via social media. It doesn’t make me scream obscenities at others because our views clash. 

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I can experience this level of discomfort and form a resolve to do what I can to help change the world. At the same time, I have to recognize there are others who are just as uncomfortable with my views as I am of theirs. It’s time to separate the wheat from the chaff. We have an opportunity here in the midst of the pandemic to come together with a little grace and poise and acceptance of our differences. We can...we MUST work together for the common good or we are lost.

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I own a square foot of this world. It’s the place where I stand. It is from my square foot plot that I can build my platform. It is from my platform that I can serve others. It is in serving others that I find grace within. It is grace that will be perceived as kindness. It is kindness that demonstrates love. And, it is love that is the very foundation of life.

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May we all stand firmly on our square foot of ground and bring love and peace to the world. May this period spent in time out not be for nuthin’.

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❤️

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“I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.”

\nEphesians 4:1-3 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-04-15T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/04/15/day-cognitive-dissonance-and-my.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Growth","New Ideas","Comfort","Grace","Wisdom","Courage","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/04/14/day-its-ok-to-cry.html", "title": "Day 29: It’s OK to Cry. It’s Also OK Not To", "content_html": "\n
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It’s ok to cry...or not to. Just feel your feels.
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I’ve gone through a lot of therapy in my life. I have struggled with depression, anxiety, and the substance abuse of self-medication. I’m a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and the progeny of a dysfunctional alcoholic father. I haven’t always selected the best relationships and I’ve made a thousand and one critical errors of judgement. My life has been messy and I’ve hurt a lot of people along the way. But, I’ve had a boatload of therapy and then I finally listened to the knock on my heart and let Jesus into my life to perform the most amazing miracle in an instant. 

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He made me new.

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That therapy...those long years of prodding and poking the beast within me till I could expose it for what it was gave me the tools that I desperately needed when I lost Mr. Virgo. The tools I learned along the way, and the faith and trust I have in Jesus brought me back into the light and transformed my pain into my purpose.

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I was telling someone the other day, if ever there were anything that could possibly shake twenty years of sobriety, it would be the last couple of months. At first, the coronavirus was something far away and didn’t touch me. It was no different than any other news story viewed with empathy but also a certain...detachment. It didn’t really hit home that it was coming here. I had this false sense of security, as I’m sure many of you felt as well.

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Then, Mr. FixIt had a stroke. Mild, thank God. But... “he’s had a stroke” is NOT what I expected to hear that cold Friday night in February. Thankfully, that didn’t settle in and trigger my PTSD too much. As a matter of fact, I don’t remember much of the first couple of weeks afterward. That’s the nature of our brain...it protects us when it can.

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What I do remember was...sitting together, watching the news. The coronavirus was here. We were transfixed. The threat of a deadly pandemic had a way of minimizing the stroke and changed our focus outward. We watched and watched and watched till we had to stop for our own mental health. 

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Then tornado season is hitting when these poor people are at their lowest. My heart is breaking...all the time.

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I used to cry. A lot. I’d cry at anything...Kleenex commercials, the smell of my baby’s head, a sad movie, the tenderness of falling in love, the aching grief of loss. It occurred to me sometime in all of this...I haven’t cried. Not a break down, ugly cry. Not the sob till you can’t catch your breath kind of cry. It made me think something might be wrong with me.

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Oh, I’ve had moments when a silent tear has slipped down my cheek. When I snuck to the bathroom to throw up while they started the stroke protocol on my husband. When I got him home and finally felt the relief it wasn’t any worse than it was. When the news started showing the hard realities of the pandemic. When my great grandbaby said, “I love you, Gigi” and I couldn’t scoop her up in my arms. When I couldn’t be with my kids and grandkids. Then I saw the potters graves of the unclaimed, unidentified bodies piling up in NYC. 

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What is wrong with me that I am not beating my chest and sobbing?

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It turns out...there’s nothing wrong with me. I know it’s ok to cry. I know it’s healing to release those cleansing hormones. And, I know Who I hand this all over to every night. I know that i can lay every burden down at the foot of the Cross and leave it there and God will carry it for me. It’s like my tattoo reminds me...my burdens are light as a feather because God carries them for me.

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There is nothing wrong with seeking out the help of a mental heath practitioner if you are feeling overwhelmed. Most are offering video conferencing now and that makes them so much more accessible now.

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I learned a lot about crying when I became a widow. Maybe I cried all the tears I had left in those first two or three years. Maybe I just got a heck of a lot stronger or braver or harder from that experience. I don’t know. All I know is, it’s ok if you can’t find the tears to cry right now. These are tough times. It’s just so much easier when you don’t have to carry this burden all by yourself. When things ease up, maybe our tears will come more easily. Till then, may you find some Peace within you.

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❤️

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“Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress. He brought them out of darkness and the shadow of death, and burst their bonds apart. Let them thank the Lord for his steadfast love, for his wondrous works to the children of man! For he shatters the doors of bronze and cuts in two the bars of iron.”

\nPsalm 107:13-16 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-04-14T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/04/14/day-its-ok-to-cry.html", "tags": ["Faith","Comfort","Fear","Courage","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/04/08/day-a-moment-of-peace.html", "title": "Day 23: A Moment of Peace", "content_html": "\n
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“The wind blows where it wishes, and you hear its sound, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes. So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit.\"”
‭‭John‬ ‭3:8‬ ‭ESV‬‬

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I slept a deep and dreamless sleep at the farm. I went to sleep with the sounds of owls and the occasional night bird. I awoke to the sun striking the the tippy top of the far ridge, the glorious choir of songbirds echoing down the holler from the woods above. What little bit of spring rain we’ve had trickled quietly in the creek outside the bedroom window I had propped open with an old bottle. My breathing was steady...my heartbeat was slow. I was feeling quite zen in the moment.

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I stretched and yawned and gazed out the window, then I received an alert on my phone. My brother/friend Greg was texting from Costa Rica.

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“Hey...wish me happy birthday, sis!”

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OMGosh! Why wasn’t his birthday on my calendar? I’m challenged in this area. I sat up, pulled the covers up around my chin, brushed my hair back, and hit the little camera icon. I have never tried a video chat on Instagram before, but there is a first time for everything, right? After three rings, there he was. My curly-haired buddy with the sparkling blue eyes...retired attorney, world traveler, born in the same hospital as me and delivered by the same doctor. We grew up right across the Ohio River from each other but didn’t meet until 2002 at a board meeting in New Castle, Colorado. Go figure.

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His gap-toothed smile is charming, his innocent youthfulness belies his age. Greg is truthfully the little brother I never had. I adore my older brother. I didn’t get to do the things with him some sisters do. He didn’t play football and look out for his little sister. He didn’t reluctantly drive me to school or protect me from boys he didn’t approve of. My older brother was born with a developmental disability and cerebral palsy. I would never trade him for anything in the world. I was HIS protector, so God sent me Greg to do the other stuff.

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When Mr. Virgo died and I returned from my three month excursion in the wilderness and backroads of Colorado, I couldn’t sleep in my house. I didn’t want to sleep in my bed...our bed. So I kept Little TOW-Wanda out front, plugged in, and essentially lived out there till I finally had to park her in storage for the winter. Greg and I were both night owls. If he saw me online at some ungodly hour, he sent me a text to see if I was ok. I can’t tell you how many times he walked the six or seven blocks from his house to mine at 2:00 in the morning to just sit with me in my camper. 

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We propped pillows up at each end of my bed, he at one end...me at the other. It was getting chilly so we threw a quilt over our legs. Sometimes we listened to music. Sometimes we shared pictures on our phones. Sometimes I cried and he sat quietly and listened. He’s a good brother...as much a brother as any. And I got to start my soft, zen-like day singing happy birthday to him and catch up with each other’s lives. It was delightful.

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When we finally said goodbye, I padded into the kitchen to make my coffee, threw in another load of laundry, and sat in Grandma’s chair to watch the world play out in front of me. I took a deep breath. No television. No news. No “press conferences”. No updates. I could just as easily have been sitting in a cabin in the woods in 1886 as remote and distant the world felt. This is what I was talking about a couple of weeks ago when I posted on my personal FB page... “Should married couples socially distance from each other? (Asking for a friend.)” I was trying to be funny...sort of. 

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I love Mr. FixIt completely. AND...I know myself. I need a break away from time to time to recharge and catch my breath. I need to NOT hear a television for, at the very least...24 hours. I am a much happier person when I get these little breaks...and when I’m happier, Mr. FixIt can’t help but be happier, too. It doesn’t take long and we can’t stand being apart. But oh...that twenty-four hours is delicious.

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Grandma’s Spirea
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I finished my laundry and gathered some things up from the kitchen that I wanted to take home. The pots and pans I left at the farm are much nicer than the ones over at the house, so I gathered the good pans up to bring home with me. The next time we go back over, I’ll take the older pans from here and leave them at the farm. No one comes there but us, and we will do fine with them. I also brought my blender and my handheld KitchenAid mixer. Some knives and my wonderful crock with my spatulas and wooden spoons. And the red teakettle I bought a few years ago when I came back to the farm full time.

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By the time I got the car packed up, it was nearly 3:00 in the afternoon. I drove home and mowed the back yard for Mr. FixIt. It was warm and sunny. When I was done, I stretched out on the bed in front of the fan for a power nap. We had supper and sat out on the deck under our new pergola and played with the cat. 

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For twenty-four hours, coronavirus was far away. Scary things were far away. Death and dying and illness were far away. I had the mental health break I needed and came back feeling stronger and more centered and rested. It’s important to take care of our mental health...always, but especially now. 

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What are you doing to help with your mental health? What are your self care rituals?

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❤️

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“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.”

\nJohn 14:27 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-04-08T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/04/08/day-a-moment-of-peace.html", "tags": ["Positive Energy","West Virginia","The Farm","Comfort","Peace","Wisdom","Presence","Peaceful Moments"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/04/07/day-i-took-a-little.html", "title": "Day 22: I Took a Little Break...Stay and Pray", "content_html": "\n
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The view from my grandparents’ bedroom has always brought me such peace. I always feel safe here.
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I had to be up bright and early yesterday to take the truck into the body shop to fix the damage from the rebar I ran over a couple of weeks ago. Could it have waited? Yes. But there was very minimal contact with others in the interaction. I wore a mask, spoke to one man in the body shop...at a distance. Handed over the key and declined his offer to wait inside for the Enterprise guy to bring my vehicle. When the car arrived, I sat in my truck and the agent stood six feet away and asked questions. I handed him my ID and credit card wrapped in a disinfecting wipe...for his protection. I received it back in a different wrap for mine. It was all done in five minutes.

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I took my container of wipes and went over every surface of that car that I am likely to touch, although I could see from the streaks left behind that it had been cleaned before. When I was satisfied, I got in and left. I checked my mail and went through the drive thru for a bag of pepperoni rolls because one must have pepperoni rolls when facing the worst week of a pandemic, right? The package got wiped down as well.

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My laundry was still in the truck from my ill-fated trip to the farm last Sunday when the hillside was on fire, so I made plans to head out there after getting the rental car. I arrived in late morning and the sun was sparkling on all the lovely green grass and flowering shrubs. I hauled in my laundry and got it started. As the first load was in, I crawled into the bed my grandparents slept in. I pulled the covers up under my chin and stared out the window at the massive flowering quince along the creek bank.

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My mind, like most of yours I’m sure, has been a whirlwind these last few weeks. Between prayers for my family, friends, readers, and public at large and keeping inventory of where I’ve been, how many times I’ve washed my hands, and if I’ve touched my face...I’ve been...what? Teetering? No, that’s not it. Worried? Yeah, who isn’t? Overwhelmed? Surprisingly, no. Actually I’ve been running steady like a little two-stroke engine pulling a grist mill. Humming right along, but bound to run out of gas soon or later.

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I decided to take a preemptive break BEFORE I ran out of gas. This is a good mental health strategy that I learned along some of the rockiest paths I’ve been on in this life. And, I can’t think of anyplace in the world that gives me more comfort than being at the farm by myself for a day or two. It even beats being in my camper...and you KNOW how much I love that!

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As I watched the flowery branches of the quince sway to and fro in the breeze, a Yellow Eastern Tiger Swallowtail butterfly landed here and there, sucking up the sweet nectar. It made me smile. I took a deep breath through my nose and smelled flowers and moss and wet leaves in the woods. I smelled “grandma’s house”...a pleasing mixture of old wood, old fabrics, old books. I wish I could bottle that and keep it. Or make candles with that special scent. The birds were calling and I saw the blue heron that frequents the creek across the road as it slowly beat its wings up the holler.

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I drifted off into a deep sleep and when I woke up, I vowed I would not watch the news on this beautiful day. I know what is happening. Instead, I prayed for them all. Those being left at the door of the hospital. Those being left behind when they don’t return. I cannot change what is happening right now. I cannot do anything more than what I am currently doing....wiping, washing, and waiting. Weeping more doesn’t help.

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A high school friend lost her husband during the night. It was not unexpected. It was not coronavirus. It was cancer. Death doesn’t wait for anything or anyone. That death hurts, too. Because that’s the one we knew was coming and couldn’t stop it. This pandemic has changed how we grieve. We will continue to find all the ways it has changed us as we go along, but my heart breaks for the newly bereaved in this time without hugs.

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❤️

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“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”

\nPsalms 34:18 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-04-07T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/04/07/day-i-took-a-little.html", "tags": ["Faith","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Comfort","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/03/26/day-remember-the-good-ol.html", "title": "Day 10: Remember the Good Ol’ Days?", "content_html": "\n
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A kitchen from long, long ago. Could you live like this again if you had to? Who will teach the skills to the younger generations who may want to learn them? I don’t see us returning to these times, per se. but we could sure stand to live a little less frenetically and lot more self-sufficiently.
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When someone says “Remember the good ol’ days?” now, they could just as easily be referring to last month than 100 years ago. Remember when we could go out to the movies? Remember when we could eat at restaurants? I love reminiscing and looking at old photos like this one. It reminds me of what they called “a simpler time”. But was it, really?

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Look at this kitchen. That stove didn’t get started with the turn of a knob. Someone had to cut, haul, and chop wood. They had to split kindling and stack it all near the back door. This was done every day or you ate cold food. With those boots under the stove, I’d say there are some hard working men and boys in that house and they eat a ton of food. That woman is cooking three squares and baking all her own bread and biscuits. She had to tend a garden, preserve the food, store it properly. Hopefully there are a couple of other young girls around to help with the washing and cleaning and all the other jobs on the farm.

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I believe that is the family “washing machine” the woman is using. This must have been an incredible convenience item to relieve her of scrubbing heavy wet work clothes on a washboard. The water had to be toted from the well, stream, cistern, or spring. It had to be heated in large pots on that stove. She had to save up the ash from the wood stove to make lye. She also saved the lard from butchering and rendered it for use in baking, cooking, and making assorted salves and soaps.

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That woman was the family doctor. She gathered herbs and medicinal plants, using knowledge handed down from generation to generation. She may have been the only midwife in a twenty mile radius. She milked the dairy cow out behind the barn...twice a day...and raised the cream to churn butter. Her sewing rocker is in the kitchen. Here is where she read her bible as the biscuits rose. She sewed and mended her family’s clothing to conserve them for longer wear. When they couldn’t be mended anymore, she cut them up and sewed the pieces together to make quilts.

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There wasn’t a lot of socializing in this day and age. There might be women who gathered for a quilting bee or to throw a wedding or a funeral. A woman valued those precious moments she shared with other women. The children were sent out of the house after breakfast and they came home at supper time. They walked to church and the one room schoolhouse down the road....maybe miles away. Or, if they were really lucky, they might have a horse or two...or maybe even a wagon for when they needed to make longer trips.

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I show pictures like this to my grandkids and they just stare at it like it’s an alien planet. I was looking at the woman in the picture. My first thought was, this is the grandma. And, it could be. But I wouldn’t doubt it a bit if that’s the mom. All that hard work and all those babies made the womenfolk age well beyond their years.

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I would never call this “a simpler time” in regard to the work that was put in on a daily basis. Yet, compared to the manic hustle most people live with today, I would say it is simpler in many ways. I had to smile the other day. Daughter #2, who showed very little interest in learning anything “old timey” when she was growing up called to say this pandemic has made her think about her life and how she’s living it. She wants to raise a garden. She would like to learn how to be more self-sufficient. Her mama is SO excited by this!!! I sent her pictures of the Encyclopedia of Country Living and the Ball Book of Food Preservation. This is a common ground I have longed to share with my kids.

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This pandemic is scary as heck. And it’s shaken many of us to the core. But, as I’ve been saying from the beginning, there will be gems in the flames of this. There will be great sadness, and there will also be great revolution. I hope we have awakened a sleeping giant.

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❤️

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“The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.”

\nProverbs 16:9 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-03-26T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/03/26/day-remember-the-good-ol.html", "tags": ["Family","Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","Growth","Comfort","Wisdom","Courage","Humbled","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/03/22/day-seeking-comfort-in-an.html", "title": "Day 6: Seeking Comfort in an Uncomfortable Time", "content_html": "\n
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Oatmeal is definitely a comfort food that’s good for you!
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Mr. FixIt and I have a kind of rhythm. While I do most of the meal prep, we seem to take turns making breakfast. I’m the eggs and pancakes gal. He’s the maker of oats. Ohhhh, he makes the BEST oatmeal. We only use old fashioned rolled oats by Quaker. I like some chewy in my oats...not wallpaper paste. He uses a lite version of brown sugar that either has Splenda or Stevia in it...I can’t remember. He adds some cinnamon. Then, when we dish it up, we add whatever berries we have handy and a small handful of crushed pecans or walnuts. His gets a splash of 2% milk...mine gets a little bit of Half & Half. Perfection!

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Comfort food is a go to when times are stressful. Currently we are eating our way through that blackberry pie I baked Friday night. We had pizza for dinner. We cannot do that all the time...but at the end of a long week that lasted a year, we deserved an indulgence. Without guilt.

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We went to town yesterday to top off the gas tank on one of the trucks and to fill all our gas cans. West Virginia now has twelve confirmed cases of coronavirus...the nearest is one county over. Our governor came on last night to urge us to take action right now and ALL of us stay home. So many people aren’t taking this seriously and they only need to see Washington, New York, and Italy to see what can happen if you are not proactive.

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One of the problems in rural areas is a general distrust of government. “Revenuers” were busting up stills in these hills long before I was born. Mountaineers are fiercely independent and don’t cotton to people telling them what to do. The fella who stopped to help get the tire off the truck the other day was a perfect example. I told him I’d shake his hand but I couldn’t because of social distancing and he rattled off a profanity laced diatribe about not being worried about any virus coming to get him. We just shook our heads as he drove off with his 24 pack of Bud.

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We’ve decided to binge watch West Wing during our TV time instead of watching the news. I watch West Wing every election year. It’s comforting to know how it’s going to turn out. I love the cast and characters. And in the entire series, there was only one episode I don’t care to watch. That’s the one where the characters are being filmed as a documentary. I skip that one every time and I’ve binge watched the entire series at least 5 times.

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Today’s Question:

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What are you doing to combat boredom?

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Be safe, dear ones.

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❤️

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“But if anyone has the world's goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God's love abide in him? Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.”

\n1 John 3:17-18 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-03-22T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/03/22/day-seeking-comfort-in-an.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","West Virginia","Comfort","Courage","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/03/12/remembrance-day-v.html", "title": "Remembrance Day v.7.0", "content_html": "\n
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Look who came for a “visit” this week.
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It’s been a long time since I’ve seen a picture of Mr. Virgo that I haven’t seen before. He was always the one behind the camera and didn’t really care to be in the limelight. One of our friends sent me the photo above earlier this week. She was the Human Resources Director at the Hotel Jerome in Aspen and was responsible for Mr. Virgo getting that job. Which, in turn, brought him to my geographical area. And, into the local “dating pool”. We met on an online dating site. I would say, “If it hadn’t been for her”...but I know who really lined us up and crossed our paths. It was a God thing.

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When our friend left the Jerome, the staff made her a memory book, took everyone’s photos, then had them write a note. She texted it to me a couple of days ago. There was that element of surprise when I opened the text. I didn’t expect to see his handsome face looking back at me...that bright smile beaming. My instant response was tears welling up, rapidly followed with a warm smile.

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“Well, hello there!” I thought. “Fancy seeing you here today.”

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I smiled back at that sweet face. Sometimes, in the busyness of this new life, I forget what he looked like. Well, not really...but he doesn’t sit in the front row anymore. He doesn’t quite fade into the crowd either. He is perpetually in the wings...my Guardian Angel...watching over me and Mr. FixIt. I know in my heart of hearts that he is so happy for me. I know he is proud of me for putting this life together.

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Seven years gone. I only had him in my life for seven-and-a-half years to begin with. He’s been gone almost as long as I had him. It’s weird. Sometimes it feels like he was just a dream. But he was very real. My heart has healed a great deal in the seven years since Mr. Virgo died. I didn’t ever “get over him”. I learned how to carry his memory with me into this new life. He will be forever sixty-two. And here I am, rapidly approaching sixty-seven. I will age and move on and he will always look like he does in this picture. Handsome, healthy, happy, content. It makes me smile to know I had something to do with that.

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Thanks for dropping in to see me this week, dear one. It’s been a while since you’ve said hello. 

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It’s probably for the best.

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But, oh...I enjoyed the visit.

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❤️

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“Are they not all ministering spirits sent out to serve for the sake of those who are to inherit salvation?”

\nHebrews 1:14 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-03-12T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/03/12/remembrance-day-v.html", "tags": ["Grief","Growth","Comfort","Courage","Aging"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/02/26/sighs-of-relief.html", "title": "Sighs of Relief", "content_html": "\n
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I went back through my photos to find a picture of an OBX sunset. Dreaming of our next vacation...and thanking God we get another chance!
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When the sun went down yesterday, I breathed a sigh of relief. I was sitting in the truck in front of Walmart. After a few days of laying low at the house, Mr. FixIt was ready to get out and about a little bit. We drove to town and went to Kohl’s to get him a new belt. Then we went to our favorite diner for an early dinner. At 5:00, we drove to Walmart and the phone rang. I had a conference scheduled to discuss my brother’s care in Colorado. (He’s doing well, by the way. Just aging, as we all are.) As I was listening to his caregivers’ reports, two things happened. First, my daughter called and I had to let it go to voicemail. Then, Mr.FixIt said, “I’m going on in. I have my phone.” And off he went.

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It was all I could do not to tell those on the line that I had to go. I took a deep breath and told myself, “He’s a grown man. He’s fine. You can’t (and SHOULDN’T) watch him every minute. Give it to God and mind your business.” I turned back to the call and when it was finished, I breathed a sigh of relief. 

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I called my daughter back. She got the job she wanted! Just seven minutes from home, and gives her an opportunity to learn new things working in horticulture. Plus, there are three “work cats” there. She’s pumped. My little introvert can snuggle kitties and make pretty things grow. Pretty perfect. I breathed a sigh of relief.

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I moseyed on into Walmart and found Mr. FixIt pushing a cart up and down the aisles, shopping as usual. I stood at the end of the aisle, his back to me, and felt the tears sting the back of my eyes. “There he is. He’s fine. He’s doing what he does best...living and breathing. He’s ok.” I breathed a huge sigh of relief.

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You often don’t realize how long you’ve been holding your breath till you let it go. I know I can’t control any of these things. And I know worrying about any of it is absolutely fruitless and not what I’m supposed to be doing. Yes...I’m a sister. And a mom. And a wife. How can I NOT have  concerns? I offered up a quick prayer of thanksgiving, walked up to that sweet man of mine, and planted a big kiss on his still slightly numb lips and smiled.

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“Did ya miss me?”

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“Of course I missed you!”

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***smile***

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***sigh***

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❤️

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“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

\nRomans 8:28 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-02-26T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/02/26/sighs-of-relief.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Comfort","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/12/31/seeking-comfort-in-an-uncomfortable.html", "title": "Seeking Comfort in an Uncomfortable World", "content_html": "\n
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“Travel brings me comfort in an uncomfortable world.”
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Well, dear ones...this is it. The last day of the year. The last day of a decade. And oh...what a time it has been. At the beginning of it, I was happily married to Mr. Virgo...living in Denver and not much liking that part, except for being in close proximity to my children. Not that I got to see them much. I was very focused on my husband and didn’t see past the end of my nose. A major regret.

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Three years into this decade, my life stopped when Mr. Virgo died unexpectedly...and I set out to create a new life with a new me. I sold the only home I had ever owned on my own. I made some bad decisions...but I’ve also made some good ones. I’ve driven tens of thousands of miles. I settled into and lived in the home of my heart on a beautiful farm that’s been in my family for nearly ninety years.

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I’ve connected with some really wonderful people, and reconnected with people I’ve known for a lifetime. I’ve written hundreds of thousands of words as I poured out my grief and my heart and my love into the ether sphere. I married a man I initially set eyes on when I was six years old.

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I gained people. And...I lost people I loved dearly.

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I totaled a truck and escaped with nothing worse than a small brain bleed that left me struggling to remember things for a couple of years, which filled me with fear. This last year, things finally started to fire on all cylinders in my poor noggin and I feel more like myself than I have in a very long time.

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I’ve aged a hundred years in some ways. I’ve gotten much younger in others.

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I got a cat. Well...she got me.

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I gained a huge extended family and I’m now not only a grandma....I am a GREAT grandma to two little ones with a third one due any day now. I am a GiGi, to be exact. A Mom and a mother-in-law and a Nana and a GiGi. A sister and a friend and a wife. How cool is that?

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I went to Church Sunday night and Pastor Justin asked us to think about who we were before we were saved. In that moment, I realized THAT’S what has been hovering in the back of my mind as I contemplate the end of this decade. Because it was the beginning of the previous decade when my life very nearly came to an end.

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I let myself cry as the music wafted over me, the Holy Spirit covering...filling me with his Love. My life has moments of demarcation with lines in the sand marking the points between “before” and “after”. The overdose. My mom’s death. Finding Jesus. Meeting, then losing, Mr. Virgo.

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Finding ME.

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Finding love again.

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Marrying a wonderful man.

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All while traveling. I get bored being in the same place too long. I need to seek new horizons from time to time. I need to get away and “blow off some stink” every once in a while. I need to recharge...away from everyone and everything I know. I need to go where no one knows me and rest in the anonymity that comes with the unfamiliar. 

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I get uncomfortable when I become too comfortable. When things start to get too predictable, I need to shake things up. I tried to count how many houses and apartments I’ve lived in during my lifetime and I lost track. I crave change. Thank goodness I’m married to a very understanding man. It makes me easier to live with, I think.

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I don’t usually travel like I did this year...not since I was on the road with the camper after Mr. Virgo died. It was different this time. It was harder to be away from my sweetheart. Partly because I genuinely love being with him and partly because I’m older now and I have intimate experience with loss. Things have changed. There’s more to lose now. I’m not sure how much I’ll travel in the coming year...but I’m sure it won’t be quite like 2019.

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We’re heading out tonight for a family bowling party to ring in the New Year. I can’t remember the last time I bowled. I can’t remember the last time I was out past 10:00! I have to remind myself...I’m only 66. There will be plenty of time to lay down when I’m dead and gone, right?

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Maybe I can take a nap before we go.

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Happy New Year, my dear ones! If you are struggling, may 2020 bring you peace, prosperity, and good health. You are so loved.

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Thank you. Truly...thank you for being here all these years. I am eternally grateful for the connections I have made through this page.

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Be blessed!

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Ginny

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❤️

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“Sing to the Lord a new song; sing to the Lord, all the earth. Sing to the Lord, praise his name; proclaim his salvation day after day. Declare his glory among the nations, his marvelous deeds among all peoples.”

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Psalms 96:1-3 NIV

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“Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.”

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Psalms 90:12 NIV

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“In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.”

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Proverbs 16:9 NIV

\n\n", "date_published": "2019-12-31T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/12/31/seeking-comfort-in-an-uncomfortable.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Positive Energy","Camping","The Grand Adventure","Fun","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Aging","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!","Widow","Marriage","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/12/13/definition-of-a-wv-holler.html", "title": "Definition of a WV Holler", "content_html": "

\"Grandma’s Grandma’s farm is at the mouth of a holler. No one lives back up the holler anymore.

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It’s “Feel Good Friday” and I want to share something with you.  We often talk about the hills of WV where my roots run deep. We talk about Grandma’s farm and the home of my heart. I tell you stories and memories that warm my soul and hopefully yours, as well. If you grew up like I did…you’ll be able to relate. And if you didn’t, you’ll be able to see how the luckiest of us were raised up.

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I belong to several Appalachian pages on Facebook. I love the pictures and the stories as they stir up memories as old as the hills. When I read the writing of one of these hill folk and it particularly moves me, I simply must share. This piece was written about the hollers of Eastern Kentucky, but that’s not all that far from here and aptly describes our neck of the woods in WV, too. I hope you enjoy!

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The Definition of an Eastern Kentucky Holler…..

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Someone from outside my area recently asked me about our Eastern Kentucky hollers, and I have been thinking of how to best describe them to those not familiar with them.  The simple answer is that a holler is a lane that follows a narrow valley between the hills.  But if you’re from the hills of Eastern Kentucky, then you know there’s a lot more to a holler than that.  

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Most hollers are just dirt roads with a little gravel spread on them every now and then.  They were never intended to carry heavy traffic.  A holler is generally very sparsely populated because that’s the way we like it.  We guard our privacy and we’re pretty wary of strangers.  Often there’s not another house in sight of your house.  

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But we still know our neighbors.  And when one needs help, then you help.  If someone is sick in the holler, then you pitch in to help until they get back on their feet.  If someone has a problem, then you listen.  When someone claims you as a friend, then you’re loyal.  And if you make a promise, then you’d better make good on it.

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There aren’t any mansions In a holler.  In fact, most houses in a holler are modest ones.  And almost everyone has a barn, and a couple of other outbuildings.  Some have chickens and cows and goats and a couple of horses.  And they all have at least one dog that runs to the road and barks at every car that passes by.  

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Most people in a holler have a front porch.  And they actually sit on it.  They shell peas and string green beans and peel apples on the porch.  And people stop by and sit on the porch with you.  They laugh and talk and cuss a little bit about crooked politicians.  And in the dusky evenings, they come with fiddles and flat top guitars and five-string banjos.  And, good Lord in heaven…..what music they make!  Sometimes the music drifts up and down the holler and it’s so pretty it just makes you want to cry!  But instead of crying, you find yourself humming along to the lonesome strains of the Orange Blossom Special. 

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A lot of the houses in a holler have been occupied by several generations of the same family over the years.  There is comfort in living in the house where your grandpa was born, or playing in the creek where your daddy used to swim.  Something stirs down deep inside of you when you know you’re walking in the steps of your forefathers.  And you never really feel alone as long as you know that your people lie buried on top of the hill that holds you so closely.  Never underestimate the way that the hills cradle you.  They will rock you to sleep at night, and awaken you in the morning with a happy heart and a joy in your soul.

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If you live in a holler, you get recognition every day.  And you’re never invisible.  People always wave at you when they see you on your porch or in your yard.  And if they don’t see you outside, then they will blow the horn when they drive by your house….just as a way of saying “howdy”.  And if a few days pass and they don’t see you, then they’ll stop by to check on you.  You can count on it.  And you can count on them.

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If your house is the first one as you turn up the holler….then you live at the mouth of the holler.  If your house is the last one where the holler dead-ends…then you live at the head of the holler.  And responsibilities fall to you according to where you live in the holler.  For example, if you live at the mouth of the holler and you see a strange car that doesn’t belong to anyone you know and it’s heading up the holler, then you call the people who live above you and let them know that there’s a stranger headed up their way.  That’s just common courtesy.  If a vacuum cleaner salesman comes to your door, then call and let the others in the holler know so they’ll have time to let the big dogs out of the house before the salesman pulls into their driveway. 

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If anyone invites you to have a meal at their table…accept their offer quickly.  And if it’s a house where an old woman runs the kitchen, get to the table just as fast as you can. And get ready to be amazed!  Because if you live to be a hundred years old, you will never have a finer meal than one served up in an Eastern Kentucky holler.

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There is a certain etiquette adhered to when you drive up or down the holler.  If you meet another car in an extra narrow spot, then one of you has to back up to a wide spot so the other can pass.  And when you are finally able to pass each other, you stop and roll the car window down and you talk until another car comes along and you have to move on.

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If your neighbor slides out of the road in the winter snow, or if he gets stuck in the mud, then you try to push him out.  If you’re unable to push him out, then you get your tractor out of the barn, attach a big chain, and pull him out.  Again…it’s just common courtesy.  

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If someone in the neighborhood dies, you get to their house quickly with huge boxes of food.  You make a pot of coffee.  And then you make another one.  And you stay beside your neighbor for as long as you’re needed.  You don’t even have to say a word, you just have to be there.

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There are other unwritten rules to holler-living.  If a forest fire breaks out, you become a firefighter.  And not just to save your own house, but to also save all the other houses in the holler.  If the creeks start rising, you don’t leave anyone behind to face the muddy waters alone.  And when storms come, and they will, you will find no better friends than the ones who are going through the same challenges that you’re facing.  

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There’s a lot more to be said about an Eastern Kentucky holler, but if I don’t tell you another thing, you need to know that a holler is more than a narrow isolated lane that runs between the hills.  A holler takes you to the place where you have always been loved and where you’ll always be welcome.  A holler takes you to the place where you can find comfort and peace and a sense of belonging.  It takes you to your roots and to your family and to the truth of who you are.  A holler takes you home.  

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Written by Roberta Stephens

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January 4, 2017

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In sweet memory of the hollers I have loved

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❤️

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“‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.””\n

Revelation 21:4 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2019-12-13T02:30:29-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/12/13/definition-of-a-wv-holler.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","West Virginia","The Farm","Gratitude","Comfort","Love","Wisdom","Choices","Feel Good Friday"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/12/12/winding-down-the-year.html", "title": "Winding Down the Year", "content_html": "

\"Mug “I’m looking for a little down time…maybe after the holidays.”

\n

The year is quickly fading and before we know it, we will turn the page on…not only another year, but on a decade. There will be stories about the best and worst and we’ll wax poetic for what was, what is, and what might have been. It’s hard to stay in the moment in a moment like this.

\n

In looking back over my last year, I realize a turning point occurred early on. I was happily sitting and knitting a gazillion dishcloths and watching movies with Mr. FixIt the entire month of January. It was divine spending hours with hot mugs of tea and the smooth feel of fiber and needles in my hands. Then…my good friend Janine stepped in and called a halt to the whole thing with these wise words:

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“Stop knitting and write your book! You can knit when you’re on your book tour.”

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Wow…she’s right, you know. I was enjoying the hygge environment I had created but I was also killing time till spring came and I could get back outside and play. I spent the entire month of February sequestered in the big camper and wrote over 75,000 words. And I haven’t really stopped moving since. 

\n

I bought that little camper in March and then the grass started growing and camping season started and the new Girl Camper website was being developed and we traveled….everywhere. And now, the year is all but over and I’m on sensory overload. Not from the holidays, per se. It’s just been a high gear year and I’m really ready for a little down time.

\n

Take yesterday, for example. I hadn’t finished my first cup of coffee when Mr. FixIt announced he needed to go to Lowe’s to get the drywall for the bathroom he’s finishing and I decided to go into town with him. I wanted to pick up a gift card for my brother. I figured we would be back in ninety minutes…tops. Ha! We pulled back in the driveway at 5:30. 

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There is no such thing as a “quick trip to town” for some reason. Not when you decide to stop for a late breakfast and the usual errands and a stop at the grocery store and the original destination of Lowe’s and then the grandkids need something. We often look at each other and say “What on EARTH did we do when we worked full time???”

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The upside of the day? I got to hold my little great grandson for half an hour and get some snuggles, so the day was not a loss. 

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❤️

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““Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.””\n

Matthew 11:28-30 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2019-12-12T02:30:47-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/12/12/winding-down-the-year.html", "tags": ["Family","Overcoming Obstacles","Comfort","Peace","Holiday","Wisdom","Aging","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/12/11/its-a-kiss-christmas-keep.html", "title": "It’s a KISS Christmas - Keep it Simple, Santa!", "content_html": "

\"Shiny “Simple and elegant…vintage Shiny Brite ornaments like these hang on our tree here at the Ponderosa”

\n

Wait! How can it possibly be just two weeks till Christmas Day??? It seems like I was on the RPod Tour yesterday and now we are sliding into the home stretch and the year will be over. I went to the farm Monday midday to write. I fell asleep to the sound of rain on the tin roof. I couldn’t help it. Not only was it soothing, but it’s my happy place and I’ve been running around like crazy this year. I just enjoy it so much. 

\n

I woke up yesterday morning and looked at the weather reports. When I went to sleep it was 61℉ and raining. By morning they were predicting snow in the afternoon. I had limited groceries with me so I decided to pack up and head back to the Ponderosa. When I walked in, I heard the carpet shampooer running in the basement and that can only mean one thing. The basement flooded again. I went down and helped my sweet Mr. FixIt clean up the mess.

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Once we got the worst of it done, I sat down to write. I have deadlines to meet every couple of weeks and I had a lot of work to do. Several hours later, I turned off the computer. I’ll finish this morning. Mr. FixIt baked some peanut butter cookies. We watched the news. We read the mail. We got our first Christmas cards yesterday. I haven’t even thought about doing ours yet. I haven’t gone Christmas shopping. I haven’t baked cookies or made special gifts. Nothing.

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I used to feel really bad about myself if the holidays weren’t visions straight out of a Hallmark movie. I have SO gotten over that. The house is decorated…enough. Did I get the Christmas Village out on the dining room table? Nope. It’s ok. If my friends and family get a New Year’s letter from us, is it going to be the end of the world? Nope. It’s ok. If the kids get cash cards instead of intricately wrapped gifts, will it make the holidays any less bright? Nope. How about if I buy a store bought cheesecake instead of making fifteen dozen cookies…does it take anything away from our celebrations? No.

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Because…all the decorations and the hoopla, the frenzy and the manic late nights aren’t what this holiday season is about anyway. It’s about love. And celebrating Jesus. And gathering the family and holding them close. I started a new Christmas tradition for Mr. FixIt and family when I came into the picture. I make a big pot of chili and homemade cinnamon rolls. It’s low key. We exchange modest gifts. And this year, we’re going to have a White Elephant gift exchange as a fun activity. If you’ve never done that, it’s a lot of fun. Here are the rules:

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Each participant supplies one wrapped gift, usually of similar value. The gifts are placed in a central location, and participants determine in which order they will take turns selecting them. The first person opens a wrapped gift, and the turn ends. On subsequent turns, each person has the choice to either unwrap a new present or to steal another’s. When a person’s gift is stolen, that person can either choose another wrapped gift to open or can steal from another player. To avoid never-ending circles, each gift can only be stolen once per turn. The game is over when everyone has a present. Generally, it is recommended to have at least six participants for the gift exchange party. With a larger group, game play may be more protracted.

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It’s a KISS Christmas…Keep it Simple, Santa!

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❤️

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“For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”\n

Matthew 6:21 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2019-12-11T02:30:37-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/12/11/its-a-kiss-christmas-keep.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Fun","West Virginia","The Farm","New Ideas","Gratitude","Comfort","Holiday","Wisdom","Peaceful Moments","Choices","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/12/10/love-to-the-rescue.html", "title": "Love to the Rescue", "content_html": "

\"Friends\" “One of my besties! Deneene and her sidekick, Griffen the Grey, came for a visit. She’s good for what ails ya!”

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I wrote in yesterday’s post about feeling “in the ditch”. I struggled for a few days with grief waves triggered by a traumatic loss in the family. Then, in swept my dear friend Deneene with lots of love and her trusty sidekick, Griffen the Grey. Griff is a nine month old French Bulldog who wriggled his way into my heart when we visited Deneene and her husband Mark in South Carolina this summer. 

\n

I had been greatly anticipating Deneene’s arrival for the last week and when she walk in the door, all the “holding it all in” released with her big bear hug. I had the gas stove in the family room fired up so it was nice and toasty. And I had the TV on with this really great ten hour YouTube fireplace video running in the background. We have a huge TV because the family room is huge. It used to be a two car garage, so if you want to read the fine print at the bottom of the screen, you need a big TV. When Deneene walked in, she said she could see the fire blazing from the road leading past our house. I was glad no one thought the house was on fire and called 911!

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We didn’t stay up too late and talk because my friend is a new grandma and had just spent a week at her daughter’s helping out with the new baby. She was pretty tired so we said goodnight early. Deneene is not a real morning person, so when Mr. FixIt and I woke up at 8:30, I told him to be really quiet so as not to wake her. I forgot that puppies get their mommies up really early and she had been waiting for US to get up and keeping Griffen quiet.

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When I heard them talking in the family room, I quickly dressed and went into the kitchen to cook breakfast. Scratch biscuits with homemade sausage gravy and eggs. OMGosh! It’s been forever since I fixed that and it was SO good. I made Paula Deen’s Cream Biscuits. They are love in the palm of your hand. Look up the recipe. Super easy! And sausage gravy couldn’t be easier to make than mine. Fry a pound of sausage till browned, sprinkle about a third of a cup of flour over it and stir till combined then slowly pour enough milk over it to loosed it up, adding more milk as it cooks, stopping when you get the right consistency. 

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As we sat and ooohed and ahhhed over the delicacy before us, we slathered butter and local orange blossom honey over the rest of the biscuits till there were just three left. I tucked them in a bag for Deneene to take with her to nibble on the road. Deneene raved over our hospitality and I told her it was the best B&B this side of the Mississippi…and it’s free!

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We said our WV goodbye. She announced she should be leaving. We told another story. She said she really should get going. We hugged and talked about when we would get to see one another again. She gathered up her things. I made sure she didn’t forget her biscuits. We walked to the door. We hugged again and declared it had been too long since the last visit and we shouldn’t wait so long next time. She double checked if she had everything. I asked if she needed a bottle of water for the road. She picked up her bags and we had another long hug at the door. As she walked through, we noticed she had set down the biscuits when she put on her coat so we retrieved them for her. If it hadn’t have been raining, we would have walked her to her truck and the goodbye would have lasted another fifteen to twenty minutes. Thus is the nature of goodbyes in the country. It’s a goodbye full of love!

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I called after her, “Don’t forget to text when you get there!” If it was dusk, I would have said, “Watch for deer!” That’s West Virginian for “I love you!”

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Deneene honked from the road as she drove by and I waved madly from the front window. And she was gone. My friend whom I helped through her own grief had come and returned the favor. I felt so much better after her visit. I have a big deadline to meet this week so after Deneene left, I packed up and went to the farm where I turned the TV to the same fireplace video. I survived another wave and I’m on to the next thing. Such is the nature of grief. It just gets incorporated into life and you move forward. Thank you for your support yesterday. You have no idea what that means to me. I wish everyone who grieves had cheerleaders like you to support them through their journey.

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❤️

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“My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.”\n

John 15:12 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2019-12-10T02:30:55-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/12/10/love-to-the-rescue.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Fun","West Virginia","The Farm","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/12/07/a-good-book-is-a.html", "title": "A Good Book is a Good Friend", "content_html": "

\"Reading\" “Books open the mind of the reader and sparks an interest in the world.”

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I am so busy writing now, I seldom have time to read. I have a stack of books by the bed. A cabinet full in the family room. My iPad has at least a dozen good books just waiting for me to sit down…yet I seldom do. And when I do have time, I love to knit. 

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I used to read voraciously, but since Mr. Virgo died, I just can’t seem to concentrate long enough to get into the story. I wish I could. I think I would love to sit by a babbling brook on a warm spring day and while away the hours, getting lost in a captivating storyline. I keep hoping.

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I do have such fond memories of reading. My mother taught me to read before I started school. The first grade teacher was so taken with my early reading skills that she sent me to other classes to read to the children. I always had a book, and when I didn’t have one, I read the dictionary or my hand-me-down encyclopedia. Mom bought a set of books as shopping rewards from the grocery store when I was very young and I devoured them.

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I have memorable moments with certain books. Love Story. I threw the book across the room and sobbed. To Kill A Mockingbird. I felt an inherent shame for the ill-treatment of others. Of Mice and Men. It broke my heart because I have a differently-able brother. There was Watership Down which got me through seasons of anxiety. There were the horror stories of Stephen King. The dramatic mysteries from the likes of James Patterson and Robin Cooke and so many others.

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A very special time in my life was when Daughter #2 and I cuddled in bed every night and read the Harry Potter books. Thinking back on that time is bittersweet. Reading with her was wonderful. But my marriage was falling apart, as was my fragile mind in the midst of it all, and that season of my life was clouded by Prozac and assorted pharmaceuticals.

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I have a new generation to read to now. Our oldest great grandchild is two now and is beginning to take an interest in books. The younger is just four months old so it will be a while before I can read to him, but we’ll have lots of picture books. And, another little boy will be gracing our presence in January.

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I think I may have to start scheduling a time to read for pleasure. What are your favorite reads these days?

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❤️

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“He went up to the temple of the Lord with the people of Judah, the inhabitants of Jerusalem, the priests and the prophets—all the people from the least to the greatest. He read in their hearing all the words of the Book of the Covenant, which had been found in the temple of the Lord.”\n

2 Kings 23:2 NIV

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\n", "date_published": "2019-12-07T02:30:31-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/12/07/a-good-book-is-a.html", "tags": ["Family","Overcoming Obstacles","Fun","Gratitude","Comfort","Peace","Wisdom","Choices","Widow","Littles"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/12/06/its-feel-good-friday.html", "title": "It’s Feel Good Friday", "content_html": "

\"Happy “Here’s a photo of my happy big brother. He makes this a true Feel Good Friday!”

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Wednesday night, after leaving the funeral home in support of family who suffered a devastating loss, I came home to an empty house while Mr. FixIt ran errands in town. I cleaned up around the house a bit, snuggled the kitten and put her to bed, then padded down the hallway to our room. I got into my cozy jammies, climbed into bed, and prepared to write my post…as I do every night. Then my phone dinged.

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I looked down and it was a text from Hubby #2. He was having dinner with my brother and sent me a picture. He does this whenever they go out and it makes my heart burst…for a number of different reasons. First, because I miss my brother and I only get to see him once a year now. He is my only blood sibling. I have two sibs of the heart…but my Bubby is the the best. He owns the biggest piece of real estate in my heart. It made me so happy to see that great big smile from this sweet, sweet man.

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The second reason my heart exploded is…this picture was only possible because the man I was married to for twenty years thinks enough of my brother to make a point to take him out to dinner several times a year. There was a time in the throes of divorce that I truly mourned, not just for the loss of a marriage, but the loss of my friendship with #2. I was always hopeful we could develop that again, but it wasn’t until Mr. Virgo died what we set everything aside and called a truce. I’m so glad because it’s so much better for the kids and grandkids when you can get along. The fact that he takes my brother out for dinner and sends me the picture makes me proud of the personal growth we both have accomplished.

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I’m always looking for good news stories to share with you all because there’s already so much bad stuff. We need something uplifting. A friend shared a cute little Christmas commercial with me last night so I decided I’m going to try to have “Feel Good Fridays” to give us all something joyful to take us into the weekend. Thanksgiving was so late this year that it’s giving us a shorter Christmas season. And…this is the time of year for all the feel good stories. After December, I’ll have to go hunting for them. But, hunting I shall gladly do. I hope you enjoy this sweet little story out of the UK. 

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https://www.cnn.com/2019/12/04/uk/heartwarming-christmas-advert-intl-scli-gbr/index.html?ofs=fbia

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❤️

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“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.”\n

2 Corinthians 1:3-4 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2019-12-06T02:30:21-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/12/06/its-feel-good-friday.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Positive Energy","Fun","Gratitude","Comfort","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Aging","Choices","Be Joyful!","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/12/03/recovery-day.html", "title": "Recovery Day", "content_html": "

\"Christmas “Christmas Lights & Pie”

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When all the food is put away…when all the dishes are done…when all the guests have said their last goodbye…what time is it? It’s time for PIE! Well, really…is there ever a BAD time for pie? We turned off the lights…all but the tree. And just enjoyed the quiet.

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I took the kitten in bright and early to be spayed and immediately came home and slept three more hours. Working to put on a big family dinner takes the starch out of you. And it gets harder the older you get. 

\n

The babies were so much fun. Princess First was in rare form, ate like a champ, colored brilliantly, and melted me with “Pweeze, Gigi!” I’m toast. Then there was Prince Second. Oy, he is a solid chunk of sheer joy. He smiles and coos and bats his big eyes at me. All I wanted to do all day was kiss and nibble on those cheeks…they are so delectable!

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Once the kitten was ready, I went to pick her up. They informed me she needs to stay in the house for the next ten days. You know what that means, don’t you? It means we now have an indoor cat. Bring me all the antihistamines in the land! It’s better, really. I worry about her outside with that road even though she was safe in the pole building every night. I also found out we can board her with our vet when we go out of town. So it was a win-win day. 

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Now I can turn my focus back to writing. The OH-WV Chapter page on the new Girl Camper website needs my attention every couple of weeks. There are presents to make. Cookies to bake. Calls to make. Cards to send. This will be a busy and quick month for all of us. Then we can start making all our camping plans for the  New Year! There’s going to be some fun things happening on the east side…up and down the mid-Atlantic area so keep your eyes peeled for announcements!

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Katy bar the door…all heck is gonna break loose around here!

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❤️

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“Put your outdoor work in order and get your fields ready; after that, build your house.”\n

Proverbs 24:27 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2019-12-03T02:30:13-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/12/03/recovery-day.html", "tags": ["Faith","Travel","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Positive Energy","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Holiday","Wisdom","Girl Camper","Girl Campers","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/11/26/tuesday-truth-when-you-canstep.html", "title": "Tuesday Truth: When You CAN...Step Away", "content_html": "

\"Meme\" “It’s OK to step away!”

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Do you have trouble stepping away from toxic relationships? Do you find you are people pleasing yourself into a corner? Are you feeling pressed into doing traditional holiday things even though you would rather not? Or maybe you just can’t face your ____________ (insert relative/friend here) this year…or ANY year? Well, I’m going to do something here…pay very close attention.

\n

Step away.

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If you need “permission” then, here…I’m giving you permission.

\n

Holidays can be especially difficult if you’re grieving. Or if you have underlying health issues. Or, you know…if you happen to be human. If you are over the age of consent, holidays can be much more painful than they are pleasurable. 

\n

For the last month, I’ve been really looking forward to going over to my cousin’s house for Thanksgiving. I don’t get to see her nearly often enough and this year it was for a very brief visit last month. I love to go and stay over a couple of days, but circumstances change. There are health issues with some of the older generation over there. Last year we left here early Thanksgiving morning, drove over, discovered my aunt had fallen and she and my uncle couldn’t attend dinner, so Mr. FixIt and I packed up a dinner for them and drove it to his house. This added another hour of driving…each way. Then, after our Thanksgiving meal back at my cousin’s house, we got in the tuck and drove home. It made for a very long day and was not relaxing nor fun even though it was great to see everyone.

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When I returned on Halloween from the six week camping excursion with the rpod and discovered we had a new kitten, everything changed. Now there are no more impromptu trips and I am not up for a drive-by. I took the self-care approach and opted out. Now we can work hard to finish the back bathroom this week and get the sink, toilet, and shower stall out of our living room in time for our family gathering on Sunday.

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Sometimes it’s a sibling. Or an aging parent. You may feel guilty for stepping away, but as I tell you so often, you cannot fill someone else with an empty cup. WE are no good to anyone, including ourselves, if we continue putting ourselves in situations that are toxic and abusive. 

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I know, I know…there are times when you may be the only one that person has. There may be situations where you are a caregiver and there IS no other option. If you feel stuck…it’s ok to look for options. It’s ok to step away and take care of yourself. It’s ok to stay home and eat a hotdog for Thanksgiving if that will give you more peace. Surround yourself with the people who love you and lift you up and celebrate you if that’s what you want to do. But…give yourself permission to stay home if you need to. It’s ok.

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❤️

\n
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”\n

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2019-11-26T02:30:07-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/11/26/tuesday-truth-when-you-canstep.html", "tags": ["Health","Family","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Growth","New Ideas","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Fear","Forgiveness","Courage","Aging","Choices","Change","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/11/17/bathing-on-the-back-porch.html", "title": "Bathing on the Back Porch", "content_html": "

\"Back “Bathing on the back porch was all I knew at the farm till I was six.” (not my photo)

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This picture makes me smile. I found it on one of the Facebook pages I follow about Appalachian life. I remember in the days before Grandma had indoor plumbing, she would fill a canner full of spring water, heat it up on the kitchen stove, and fix a bath for my brother and I when we stayed with her. In the winter, the old galvanized tub was brought into the kitchen so we wouldn’t catch a chill. And in the summer, we bathed on the back porch. It was a great way to cool off and prepare us for a night of blissful slumber. I would pad up the staircase with bare feet, dressed in a clean cotton nightgown, and Mom would tuck us into bed…one on each side of her. I would drift off to the sounds of the night…a screech owl, katydids, crickets, and the sound of the creek bubbling over the rocks just at the side of the house.

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When Daughter #1 was little, I felt I was ever so much more sophisticated than my countrified counterparts and bathed my daughter in the indoor bath…you know, like civilized people. But, by the time Daughter #2 came around, I started to appreciate and embrace my Allegheny roots. By this time, my daughter was big enough she couldn’t fit in the old galvanized tub so we took things a step further. It was always August when we went to WV for a visit and it was hotter than blue blazes so we took what my daughter called “moon baths”. We waited till dark, went outside, and stripped down to our “all-together” as my mama used to call it. Then we washed from a bucket of sudsy water and poured buckets of cool rainwater over us to rinse. It was heavenly.

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In 2004, my mom died after a brief illness and I went home to take care of her estate. I was there for several months to clean out the house and remodel it as best I could to sell it. During that time, Daughter #1 brought Big to West Virginia for a visit. When we went to the farm, I pulled out the same old galvanized wash tub and drew a bath for my granddaughter on the back porch. This picture made me smile at all the memories that came back to me. I sent it to Big yesterday (who will be 16 in February) and told her the story of the old tub. My Colorado peeps are pretty well gentrified so she was astonished at such a primitive upbringing I had.

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There aren’t many opportunities to walk down memory lane with my kids and grandkids. They live busy lives and don’t get here often so I take time when I can to share the past with them. I think it’s important for them to know their roots go deeper than the Rocky Mountains. Their past stretches back to the ancient Appalachian Mountains…to a place time forgot…on a little old porch of a little old house in a holler in the hills.

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❤️

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“Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him.”\n

Psalms 127:3 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2019-11-17T02:30:16-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/11/17/bathing-on-the-back-porch.html", "tags": ["Family","Fun","West Virginia","The Farm","Gratitude","Comfort","Humbled","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/11/12/shelves-of-memories.html", "title": "Shelves of Memories", "content_html": "

\"Jelly “The antique jelly cupboard from the farm now houses my quilts.”

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When I showed you my beautiful jelly cupboard that I recently moved from the farm, many of you asked to see it when I had the quilts inside. As I sat working in the living room at the Ponderosa yesterday afternoon, the warm sunshine streaming through the big windows made its way to the cupboard. The shelves sat empty and glaring at me. I set my work aside and went on the hunt for my quilts. They have been put away since the wedding a year ago and it was about time they were brought out for all to see.

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I am of the mindset not to “save the good china”. I want what few antiques I have curated to be displayed and used in my everyday life. Part of this is because my kids more than likely will not be interested in them. And partly because one of the lessons Mr. Virgo unwittingly taught me was…life is short. Use the crystal and the quilts.

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When the unfortunate parting of the ways came on Christmas of 2014, just ten weeks after I arrived to help my Aunt Peeps, I didn’t know what to do with the cherished items I brought from Colorado. Five thousand pounds of stuff I didn’t believe I could part with became an albatross around my neck. I couldn’t leave it at the farm and I couldn’t take it with me on the road. My good friend, Steve, let me store a lot of it in his basement. And I decided many of the most cherished family keepsakes should go live with my cousin, Tammy. That way I can visit them and she can enjoy them.

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My quilts were one of the things I simply could not part with and I carefully stored them away for the perfect way to display them again. Once they were safely tucked on the aged bittersweet colored shelves of the jelly cupboard, I sat back to observe my handiwork. I realized something heartwarming. 

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For the last few years, I have been dreading the day when I can no longer visit or spend time in Grandma’s old red farmhouse. That day will come…when, I don’t know. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned in my life, it is that change is the only thing we can count on in this earthy plane. As I sat and looked at the worn wood the color of a caramel apple, I realized I could feel the farmhouse. I could see the hump in the floor where it’s settled over the years. The old faded linoleum that made cleaning much easier. I could hear the squeak of the stairs and the way the spring squeals when the screen door slams. I could see the boxes of Wheaties that Pop-Pop kept on the top of the cupboard for his dessert after supper. I could hear the faint sound the doors made when I reached in as a little girl…taking the mishmash collection of dishes out to set the table or putting them back in after hand washing and drying.

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In that moment I realized that, even though the house may someday be inaccessible to me, this jelly cupboard is the heart of what is left of the beautiful childhood memories created within the crooked walls of a crooked little house in West Virginia. And…it is mine. Combining households with Mr. FixIt has definitely expanded our “footprint”, however…we each have things that are our personal possessions. While I don’t believe I will ever accumulate “stuff” like I did before Mr. Virgo died, what I do have will be things that are beautiful, useful, and that bring me joy. 

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❤️

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“That precious memory triggers another...”\n

2 Timothy 1:5-7 MSG

\n", "date_published": "2019-11-12T02:30:47-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/11/12/shelves-of-memories.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Strong Women","Positive Energy","West Virginia","The Farm","Gratitude","Comfort","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Aging","Downsizing"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/11/09/baby-its-cold-outside.html", "title": "Baby, It’s Cold Outside!", "content_html": "

\"Weather “The cold, arctic air is hitting deep into the south in the coming week.”

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I think Mother Nature has other ideas for me than traveling through the Blue Ridge Mountains through an Arctic cold front. Last week, I had every intention to knock out the arm-long list of things that needed my attention and be back on the road by this time. Then, I got home. And got a real look at what needs done around here. The temps have gotten increasingly colder day by day with next week looking even worse. To top that off…there’s the new kitten. We can’t just up and leave now. It’s going to take more planning than it has in the past. That’s not to say we won’t be going anywhere, but honestly…I do not want to be off somewhere and not be able to get back because of bad weather. 

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In the meantime, we’ve been hustling around the farm and the Ponderosa battening down the hatches before the coldest weather of the year arrives. The top of the agenda was the pool. We really needed to get the level down and unhook the pump before last night as the low this morning was predicted to be 22°. Mr. FixIt worked all day Thursday in the cold rain and got that  finished. Now we just need to get the cover over it and it’s put to bed for the winter. I emptied the food from the r-pod and turned off the refrigerator yesterday in preparation for the coming cold snap.

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Cold weather is perfect for a big pot of homemade soup. When I was at the store Thursday, asparagus was on sale for $.99 a pound. I bought two pounds and made a pot of Cream of Asparagus soup. I’ve never made it before and it was divine! I made enough for four big bowls for under $4.00! Here’s the recipe should you wish to try it.

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Cream of Asparagus Soup

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2 lbs. fresh asparagus, washed, trimmed, and chopped in 1” pieces

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1 large onion, chopped

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4 tbsp. unsalted butter

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4 cups chicken broth

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1 cup heavy cream

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Salt and pepper to taste

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1/4 tsp. Lemon juice

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Melt butter in soup pot and add onion and chopped asparagus. Stir over medium heat till onion  begins to become transparent. Add chicken broth. Cover and simmer over low heat till asparagus is very soft. Remove from heat and purée using a blender, food processor, or hand held blending wand. Return to heat, add cream, and bring just to a boil. Add lemon juice and salt and pepper to taste and serve hot or cold.

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It was delicious and so quick and easy to make. Mr. FixIt said he had never had Cream of Asparagus soup before and he loved it!

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Today’s culinary circus will include a Sour Cream Apple Pie and Homemade Ooey Gooey Macaroni and Cheese! These are the days I love…the days I’ve worked so hard for this year. What’s cooking in YOUR kitchen today?

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❤️

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\n “Give us today our daily bread.”\n

Matthew 6:11 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2019-11-09T02:30:22-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/11/09/baby-its-cold-outside.html", "tags": ["Family","Positive Energy","Fun","Gratitude","Comfort","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/11/04/does-time-heal-all-wounds.html", "title": "Does Time Heal All Wounds?", "content_html": "

\"Time\" “Does time heal all my wounds? Not in my time…but in God’s time.”

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I’ve been struggling a little with re-entry. The rhythm of the road is different than that at home and I always have a bit of a hard time adjusting. It’s a little like the let down after the holidays…you know, when you have to get back to reality. Not that it’s a bad thing. It’s just always a little sad when the party is over. 

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Yesterday morning I woke up at what seemed like a reasonable time with the time change. As I stretched and thanked God for letting me open my eyes to face another day, I went through my morning inventory. I noticed I felt a little down so I searched around in my mind as to what might be going on beyond the normal re-entry slump.

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Then it came back to me. I was having a dream when I awoke. In my dream, I was sitting at a desk, going through my calendar, and realized it had been over six-and-a-half years since I had spoken with Mr. Virgo. In the dream, he hadn’t died…I had just seemed to have lost contact with him. I was really confused, like…did I go someplace and forget him? Did I tell him I’d call him when I got there and then just…didn’t? If that was the case, then why hadn’t he tried to contact me? What on earth was keeping him so tied up that he couldn’t find the time to text or call me? Then, of course, I woke up. And reality is reality. He is gone. I am here and happily married to Mr. FixIt. So, why did I have such a dream?

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There aren’t answers to that, really. I believe it was Freud who said, “a cigar is sometimes just a cigar”. There’s no reason to psychoanalyze every little thing. We have dreams. Things happen. Life moves with its own rhythm. Still, dreams like that can stir something deeper and create a ripple in the force.

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The day went on and was lovely. Church, breakfast, errands, a nice Sunday afternoon snooze. Then, I went into the bedroom for something and had that old familiar urge to call my mom. I always called her on Sunday evenings. I miss those calls and it made my heart ache a little. Then I thought of my kids and how busy they are and they don’t call me on Sunday evenings and…

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That particular snowball had to stop right there. It doesn’t do any good to go down that road and make myself miserable over things I have no control over. There are wounds that heal with time. They become so small they don’t even leave a scar. There are wounds that heal and leave visible scars. Then there are those that not only have the scars, but also have varying degrees of pain. Like the phantom pain of a leg long gone or a throbbing knee when it rains.

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Grief and time. I see them like those models of DNA. A twisted ladder, connected and spiraling. Never really finished. Never quite tangible. Always affected by our emotional temperature. No…time doesn’t heal all wounds. But, God does. When I remember to stop trying to handle hot coals with my bare hands and give them to my Father to carry, my wounds are bound up. It’s just the remembering to turn them over that trips me up every time.

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❤️

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“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”\n

Psalms 147:3 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2019-11-04T02:30:36-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/11/04/does-time-heal-all-wounds.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Growth","Comfort","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Change","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/11/03/back-to-the-comforts-of.html", "title": "Back to the Comforts of Home", "content_html": "

\"Camping “My little office on the go in the R-Pod 196”

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One thing I really was challenged by with I was touring West Virginia was internet accessibility. If it weren’t for the fact I’m a writer and I had deadlines to meet, I wouldn’t have really cared. But when you write every day, for yourself and for others, you have to be creative in how you stay connected.

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There was a delicate balance I walked. On the one hand, I needed accessibility. On the other, I craved getting lost in the woods. I chose campsites based on the view first. I always looked at the campground maps when I made my reservations and chose the one off by itself. The one with the view….the quiet…the peace. My second criteria was electric. I didn’t really need water or sewer hookups. The r-pod has plenty of water tank capacity, both fresh and wastewater.

\n

My last question was always, “Where can I get cell or wifi?” There were campgrounds I stayed in that had neither. In that case, I drove to the lodge to use theirs. There was one campground that had AT&T, but not Verizon. This picture was taken in the kitchen of the r-pod while I was camped at Watoga. I was pleased when the camp-host said the campground has WiFi at both bath houses. Then he added, “It’s really slow, though.”

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He wasn’t kidding. One little bar. As a matter of fact, every place I stayed had either one little bar of cell or one little bar of WiFi. It was a tad frustrating. Anyway, there at Watoga I happened to be camped right beside the bath house. And, if I was away from that window, I couldn’t send or receive anything. I stood a lot at that window when it was time to upload my posts or check my e-mail or Facebook. This was my little office that particular week.

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I was telling Mr. FixIt about this the other night when he came to camp with me at Twin Falls. I told him I used to complain about the WiFi at home. Now it’s going to feel like high-speed fiber-optics! Well, until I get used to it and then I’m liable to complain again at how slow it is. 

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Yesterday was a much better day. Mr. FixIt and I went to town to buy a warming pad and a storage tote to make Pumpkin a nice warm bed out in the pole building. We also bought a litter box. We already had the feeding dish/water bowl combo. I think Pumpkin is a girl but we’ll know for sure when we take her in to get her shots and checkup on Tuesday.  Now I feel really good about her bedding situation and she has already come to love the building. I think she feels safe in there.

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I’m so excited to go to my home church today. I have really missed my church family! I’m heading out to the farm this afternoon after church to get the house ready for winter. And then there will be far less items on that very long to-do list. Giving myself permission to have some down time with family and falling in love with a little black kitten just might be the best things I’ve done for myself in a very long time.

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❤️

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““Show me, Lord, my life’s end and the number of my days; let me know how fleeting my life is.”\n

Psalms 39:4 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2019-11-03T02:30:13-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/11/03/back-to-the-comforts-of.html", "tags": ["Travel","Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","Camping","Fun","West Virginia","Gratitude","Comfort","Wisdom","Girl Camper","Girl Campers","Choices","Road Trip","Chasing the Sun - Girl Camper Road Trip"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/11/02/meetpumpkin-the-kitten.html", "title": "Meet.....Pumpkin, the Kitten!", "content_html": "

\"Black “Kitty has an appropriate Halloween name…Pumpkin!”

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I hit the ground running yesterday. The first order of business was to haul the camper to the nearest dump station…a lovely fifty-four mile round trip drive out to and up the interstate and back. When I woke up at 8:00, it was a whopping 36 degrees. Two hours later, when I was finally hooked up and ready to go, it was all the way up to 37! Ohhhhh, I really wasn’t looking forward to that, but it had to be done. Last night’s overnight low was predicted to get down to 27 and stay there for four hours. That’s when you get freezing and possible damage to water lines in a camper.

\n

The only way I have ever winterized a camper was to run pink RV antifreeze through the lines. But this camper is different. I looked it up on YouTube and it said to open the drains, dump the tanks, pour some antifreeze in the wastewater tanks to keep any residual from freezing, and take out the element in the hot water heater. Then, you go around and turn on each faucet, one at a time, and turn on the water pump. Any residual water left inside should drain out through the low water drain. It worked like a charm! But, man…I was chilled to the bone when I was done.

\n

I pulled the camper back home and unhooked, fully expecting to head back to town and run errands on my list that’s a mile long. As I sat in the truck, I took inventory. Have you ever had to sit yourself down and give yourself a stern talking to? Well, that was me yesterday. I was feeling overwhelmed by the expectations I was placing on myself. No one else was telling, or even asking, me to get everything done. I counted up what I had already accomplished. I looked at the list to see what I could do alone, and what I would need Mr. FixIt’s help with. I checked off the list of phone calls I had already made. Then I took a physical inventory. My shoulders and neck were so tense and tight, I was getting a headache. My body was just…tired. So…I gave myself permission to kick back for the rest of the day.

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I got out of the truck and the little black kitten came running and rubbed against my legs. I reached down and picked it up and really gave it a good once-over. Well, except for checking the nether regions. It still just didn’t occur to me to look. I was more interested in testing the kitten’s demeanor. One of the tests you do with puppies is to cradle them in your arm on their backs to see if they trust you. An alpha won’t have anything to do with that. And that may be a more stubborn, if not aggressive, animal. I didn’t know if it worked with cats, but this little baby let me roll it over and snuggle and scratch it all over. It purred like an Evinrude motor on a power boat. It head butts you to snuggle face to face and taps you very gently on the face. What a precious baby!

\n

I held it up to look face to face. 

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“What is your name, little one? Hmmm? Is it…Spooky? You’re a black little who came to me on Halloween. It should be a festive name to commemorate the holiday. How about Snickers? You’re pretty sweet, and that’s my favorite Halloween candy. Someone suggested Ash or Asher, but I don’t know whether you’re a boy or girl. They thought Boo was cute, but that’s what we call our little Boone, now isn’t it.”

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By this time, I was at the bay doors on the pole building. There is an old kitchen stool there and Mr. FixIt put a couple of our pumpkins on it. I plopped the kitten down and took a picture. I looked up from the camera app on my iPhone and smiled.

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“Pumpkin! THAT’S your name, isn’t it?!?! I knew if I listened close enough, you’d tell me, you sweet little snuggle-bug.” I picked up the kitty and was again serenade with that mystical sound of purring. Now that the kitten has a name, Pumpkin just rolls off my tongue. So sweet, so simple. Such simple pleasures found in a sweet kitten. I had forgotten. The last time I had a kitten this size, I was in 9th grade and I talked my mom into letting me have a little orange marmalade kitten from my friend Sharon’s cat. 

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I gave the kitten a little more snuggle time and then went in to stretch out and read till Mr. FixIt came home. My nose was running like a sugar tree from handling the cat, but I wasn’t wheezing. That was a good sign. I washed my hands well, and was careful not to touch my face or eyes. I’m definitely allergic, but we’ll see how much of this I can get away with. Because this feels like something I didn’t even know I needed. Kittens are good medicine.

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I have an appointment Tuesday for a checkup and shots. We’ll see how old Pumpkin is and when we can get him/her fixed. Today I will fix a winter box with a pet safe heating pad in it. I had those for the cats out at the farm. I’ll also get a heated water dish. The kitten seems to really like the safety of the building. We won’t have any mice in there anymore once this one gets big enough to catch them. And, there isn’t any poison in there. It’s a good, clean, safe place to sleep all cozy warm in a kitty condo. When we are home, the kitten is glued to us so…I think we’ve got this!

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Oh, and I slept in the house for the first time in a month last night. I feel like I’m in prison after the freedom of the road. It’ll take time to acclimate, but last night’s low of 27 drove me back inside. In the meantime, I am filled with wonderful memories of the latest “Great Adventure”!

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❤️

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“You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands.”\n

Isaiah 55:12 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2019-11-02T01:30:07-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/11/02/meetpumpkin-the-kitten.html", "tags": ["Family","Positive Energy","Fun","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Love","Peace","Courage","Presence","Choices","Change","The Cats","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/10/17/what-a-difference-a-day.html", "title": "What a Difference a Day Makes!", "content_html": "

\"Fall “One day sunny and warm, the next day blustery and cold. Still…a day camping is better than anything else!”

\n

When I arrived at Stonewall Jackson Resort Campground on Wednesday, it was a lovely, warm day. This campground is decidedly different from Cedar Creek. Where Cedar Creek was more rustic and filled with nature, trees, deer, squirrels, and all manner of birds, Stonewall Jackson is quite “resorty”. There were a lot of really big rigs…the huge, expensive Class A motorhomes that are just passing through. There are a lot of resort amenities here, too. A golf course, a huge lodge, a grand lake with a big boat that tours around in the evenings…weather permitting. It just has an altogether different feel and I honestly think I prefer the far end of a campground that might be visited by bears over this…even though it really is quite nice.

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The sun was shining when I arrived and I spent the afternoon reorganizing the pantry in the kitchen. I wasn’t sure what all I would need on this trip so. I brought way too much “stuff”. So far, I’ve sent Mr. FixIt home with extra stuff every time he comes to camp with me. This time, I knew I had too much in the big pantry because I just kept pushing things to the back and only using what was in the front. I have an empty tub in the bed of the truck that I throw the things I am not particularly using so a big bag of heavier stuff went out there. The rest got more evenly distributed throughout the camper so the shelves weren’t overloaded.

\n

Once the organizing was completed, dinner was done, and the dishes washed and put away, I went for a walk around the campground before turning in for the night. I know we are almost at the end of Daylight Savings Time and it’s already getting dark way too early. Once the time change hits us, it will be getting dark at 5:00pm…making for some long nights to fill in the camper. Since I don’t watch TV as a rule, I’m working on writing, reading actual books (wow), and knitting. 

\n

I spent almost the entire day yesterday over at the park lodge. The WiFi at the campground slowed down markedly because it started raining at 5:00am and people were stuck inside their campers. I’m sure they were surfing the web and maybe live-streaming movies. The WiFi at the lodge was much faster and I settled in after breakfast and sipped coffee as I met some writing deadlines. Along about 11:00, the hostess of the restaurant gasped and pointed out the window. Leaves were swirling about and the rain was coming down in sheets. I jumped up and asked them to watch my stuff…I’d be right back.

\n

Leaving the camper in the campground unattended worried me and I wanted to drive back over to check on it. It was fine and I breathed a sigh of relief as I drove back over to the lodge to finish a piece I was working on. When you are put in charge of something that doesn’t belong to you, you don’t take chances with it. I don’t take this charge lightly.

\n

Today is a gypsy day and I am leaving this campground. I have tentative plans for another further east, but that leads me into the mountains and the low Friday night is near freezing. I need to get the propane refilled and decide if it’s worth staying in the mountains, or should I move a bit further south. Weather forecasts can change quickly this time of year, and there is something special I would like to do this weekend where I was originally planning to stay. Something I’ve wanted to do for a long time. So, we shall see where I land. Sometimes those are the best travel days…when you end up doing something entirely unpredicted.

\n

❤️

\n
“But God made the earth by his power; he founded the world by his wisdom and stretched out the heavens by his understanding. When he thunders, the waters in the heavens roar; he makes clouds rise from the ends of the earth. He sends lightning with the rain and brings out the wind from his storehouses.”\n

Jeremiah 10:12-13 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2019-10-17T01:30:23-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/10/17/what-a-difference-a-day.html", "tags": ["Travel","Camping","Fun","West Virginia","Gratitude","Comfort","Peace","Courage","Girl Camper","Girl Campers","Road Trip","Chasing the Sun - Girl Camper Road Trip"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/10/06/cooking-in-the-rpod.html", "title": "Cooking in the RPod!", "content_html": "

\"Cooking “Even with a compact, kitchen, cooking in the RPod is really easy.”

\n

Saturday is Soup Day at What a Hoot. The Girl Campers gather at Beaver Creek State Park in the spring and fall…both wonderful times to camp and both offering cool nights when a hot mug of soup is most welcome. Yesterday morning it was all of forty-one degrees when I woke up. The perfect day to get out the crockpot and make something yummy.

\n

I’m really getting the hang of cooking in the RPod. It’s a compact kitchen, but there is plenty of storage in the ample pantry…even for this monstrous 8-quart slow cooker. There are always several varieties of soup at the Saturday evening meal. This year, I decided to make beef and noodles…a wonderful comfort food that never fails to satisfy.

\n

I bought a big chuck roast, some pre-diced onions/celery/carrots, a large pack of sliced mushrooms, some beef broth, a family sized jar of prepared beef gravy, and a 24oz. bag of frozen noodles. I sear each side of the roast in my iron skillet, then sauté the veggies and mushrooms, and put it all in the crockpot. I pour the bottled gravy and about a cup of the beef broth over the whole thing and simmer it on low for about eight hours. About an hour before I’m ready to eat, I throw in the bag of noodles and add another cup or so of beef broth. I turn it up on high and when the noodles are done, it’s dinner time! One of the nice things about having the leftovers is packing up individual containers and putting them in the freezer for meals down the road. 

\n

I realized last night, I haven’t been as conservative with water as I thought and my freshwater tank is down to 1/3 full, which means I have approximately 10 gallons left on board. I have at least two more nights camping before I can refill my fresh water and dump the grey and blackwater tanks so I’ll need to watch more carefully. I can warm up leftovers the next couple of days and use paper plates so I’ll be fine.

\n

I think Diane had a good time camping. She enjoyed the girls and the campground. She learned a lot about staying in a travel trailer. The only camping experience she ever had was sleeping in a tent in Girl Scouts…which she hated. She really liked the RPod. I don’t know that camping will be an activity she seeks out in the future, but it sure was fun to show her the ropes and to spend some time with my good friend. There have been a lot of people who never dreamed of camping and end up enjoying themselves…whether or not they ever take it up as a pastime. 

\n

❤️

\n
“By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going. By faith he made his home in the promised land like a stranger in a foreign country; he lived in tents, as did Isaac and Jacob, who were heirs with him of the same promise. For he was looking forward to the city with foundations, whose architect and builder is God. And by faith even Sarah, who was past childbearing age, was enabled to bear children because she considered him faithful who had made the promise. And so from this one man, and he as good as dead, came descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and as countless as the sand on the seashore.”\n

Hebrews 11:8-12 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2019-10-06T01:30:58-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/10/06/cooking-in-the-rpod.html", "tags": ["Travel","Positive Energy","Camping","Fun","Gratitude","Comfort","Peace","Girl Camper","Girl Campers","Be Joyful!","Road Trip","Chasing the Sun - Girl Camper Road Trip"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/09/21/mississippi-pot-roast.html", "title": "Mississippi Pot Roast", "content_html": "

\"Mississippi “Yummmmm….Mississippi Pot Roast! It’s going to be fall soon and I’m going to cook this when I’m camping with the Girl Campers next month!”

\n

I have heard of this recipe before and have seen it on Pinterest, but I’ve never made it. Our fellow Girl Camper, Lynn Butler came over to the campground Thursday morning toting a crockpot. She set it up in her camper and went off to work for the day. When she came back at supper time and opened the door to her camper, the most wonderful aroma came wafting out over us and we fairly swooned!

\n

But first, I have to tell you a little about Lynn. You don’t often see RV Dealerships owned by women and Setzer’s is second generation women owned. Lynn’s mom started it all and Lynn took it over when her mom retired. Now she is grooming her own daughter to hopefully take it over when she hangs up her clipboard and decides it’s more fun to camp.

\n

I was very impressed by the entire operation at Setzer’s and they have a wonderful inventory. One thing I didn’t know before…they have an RV Flea Market in April where you can bring your extra camping gear and even your own trailer to sell. I hear it’s a hoot and I can’t wait to go next spring!

\n

Speaking of hoots…the owls were really active at Beech Fork State Park Wednesday and Thursday nights when we were there. The nights are getting so nice a cool and I slept with the windows open so I could hear the hooty hoots. SO relaxing!

\n

Now, back to the recipe for the pot roast…

\n

Chuck Roast, Olive or Vegetable Oil, Salt & Pepper, Ranch Dressing Mix, Dry Onion Soup Mix, Real Salted Butter, Pepperoncini Peppers

\n

Pat your chuck roast dry with paper towels. Season it with a little salt and pepper and sear it on each side in a little olive or vegetable oil in a hot skillet till it’s nice and brown. Transfer the meat to your slow cooker, sprinkle with the packets of dry ranch dressing and onion soup mixes, and top with a stick of butter. Then place your peppers on and around the roast. Put your lid on and cook for eight hours on low. You don’t add any liquid with this roast! All those yummy juices come from the meat (and that delicious butter!)

\n

The meat was incredibly tender and juicy but I would have to say it was a bit too salty for me. You could really cut the salt by using low sodium versions of the ingredients.

\n

There is nothing more fun than getting out in a camper with a bunch of gals who love it as much as I do!

\n

❤️

\n
“Give us this day our daily bread.”\n

Matthew 6:11 KJV

\n", "date_published": "2019-09-21T01:30:15-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/09/21/mississippi-pot-roast.html", "tags": ["Travel","Fun","West Virginia","Comfort","goRVing","Girl Camper","Girl Campers"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/09/09/there-is-another.html", "title": "There is Another", "content_html": "

\"Worship “There is another who stands with us in the fire….always.”

\n

I cannot tell you how many times I have felt alone in my life. Totally alone. Totally forgotten. Maybe not totally worthless…but pretty darned close sometimes. When I went through my formal conversion to Judaism just before my second child was born, part of the process was to sit before the Bet Din…the Jewish Tribunal Court that determines your suitability. Did you learn all you needed to learn? Are you converting for your faith…or for your husband? How will you accomplish the very important aspect of the Jewish faith…being a contributing member of the synagogue?

\n

These were the easy questions. I had already lived a Jewish life for 12 years. This conversion was merely a formality so that our child would be considered by other Jews to be Jewish once she was born. The difficult question came last.

\n

“Do you renounce Jesus as your personal savior?”

\n

I thought I would fly through these questions without giving them a second thought. But this question….this…betrayal to all I had learned as a child hit something deep within me I didn’t even realize was there. But what was I to do? I was pregnant out to here and my nice Jewish doctor-husband was sitting on the other side of the door, waiting for me. 

\n

“I have obligations to my family,” I thought to myself. “I have people depending on me to show up as a Jew…not the least of which is my unborn child.”

\n

So, I said yes…and that’s where the trouble started. I felt God…I don’t know…step back, for lack of a better description. From that moment on…for the next ten years…I felt alone. Forsaken, as I had forsaken Jesus. Granted, I had not recognized him as the Son of God at that point. I had never invited Him into my life. I had never given over to Him and called Him Lord. I guess, in that moment, I realized He was still in the back of my mind. He was still there. That is, until I kicked Him to the curb in the office of the synagogue that cold and sunny January day.

\n

I didn’t deserve Him. I had shunned Him. I felt there was no forgiveness for such an action and that was where I was left. Dying on the vine from the inside out. Ten years later, after an overdose nearly killed me, I started my long journey back to life and along the way…praise God…I was brought to my knees at the foot of the Cross and came home to Jesus in 2005. Nearly fifteen years ago.

\n

What I’ve learned since then is this: I was never alone in the fire. God was always there with me, no matter how far I tried to push Him away. I spent that whole decade feeling alone and unworthy…far from God on my side of the fence. Yet He sat there patiently watching out for me, patiently waiting for me to cry out for him.

\n

I think of myself as a parent…how sad I have been at times when my children’s focus has them far away from me and how joyful I feel when they call, or reach out to me for something even as mundane as a family recipe. This must be how God feels when we reach our arms out to Him to be held. Like any parent…He loves His children. Like any parent…He rejoices when His children love Him back.

\n

❤️

\n
“How precious is your steadfast love, O God! The children of mankind take refuge in the shadow of your wings.”\n

Psalms 36:7 ESV

\n", "date_published": "2019-09-09T01:30:03-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/09/09/there-is-another.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/09/08/let-things-go.html", "title": "Let Things Go", "content_html": "

\"Autumn “Letting things go for a little while gives your mind and heart a chance to breathe.”

\n

I have a list as long as my arm to get accomplished in the next four days. On the upside, I don’t have a camper to clean and prep for a trip. On the downside, I still have laundry, errands, packing, planning, writing, and a couple of doctor’s appointments before I slip out of town on Thursday for the beginning of this amazing Girl Camper Trailer Tour.

\n

So, with all this stuff on my list, what did I do yesterday? I let things go. I created a day just for me. I met ten of my dear friends from my high school class for coffee and conversation. We caught up with what’s been going on since the beginning of summer. We haven’t met since June before I left cross country. This is the first chance I’ve had to plan a coffee gathering since returning from Colorado. I needed to fit it in before I leave again this week.

\n

We caught up with everyone’s health issues. Yes, we’re THOSE people now…surgeries, hospitalizations, injuries. We are “of a certain age” and things break down more often it seems. One of the gals was new to our gathering. She’s been liberated from a longstanding situation that didn’t allow her to socialize before now so there was a lot of catching up to do there. We talked about our vacations over the summer and travel plans for the fall. We shared photos of the grandkids…and GREAT grandkids! Ninety minutes flew by and someone called, “Picture time!” We needed to enlist a patron sitting in the cafe to come take our photo. A young woman doing homework. I smiled. “High school friends. Don’t ever lose touch!” She smiled back and took the perfect picture.

\n

When it was time to leave, we each hugged everyone there. We’re of that age…we don’t know “when” and “if” anymore. So we hug and kiss a lot and give lots of “love you’s” and “take care’s”. I left feeling loved and supported and relieved those I care about were experiencing a pretty good week. As I was heading to the truck, one of our granddaughters texted to say she was in town and did I want to snuggle our great grandson. Well…of course! Silly question!

\n

I went to the former Mrs. FixIt’s house and visited her and with not one, but BOTH great grandchildren for an hour or so and caught up with everyone, then headed off for errands. I met Mr. FixIt after his golf scramble and went to one of my favorite stores…Rural King. I’m looking for a cool barn coat but I’m not finding one. I’ll probably have to buy online.

\n

So, there you go…my primer on how to let things go. Totally self serving and vitally important. Church today, then I can piddle around the house. It’ll get done. And, it’ll get done without me feeling like I’ll tear my hair out at any minute. That is a monumental win-win in my book.

\n

❤️

\n
“a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;”\n

Ecclesiastes 3:5 ESV

\n", "date_published": "2019-09-08T01:30:33-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/09/08/let-things-go.html", "tags": ["Health","Uplifting Stories","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Fun","West Virginia","Gratitude","Comfort","Love","Wisdom","Courage","Aging","Presence","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/09/06/stitched-with-love.html", "title": "Stitched with Love", "content_html": "

\"Quilt\" “My friend’s comfort quilt is on its way. She’s had her first dose of chemo.”

\n

My dear friend’s quilt is on its way out west. As I sat and hand stitched the binding, I listened to praise music for a bit, then I switched over to my daily devotional. My Bible app on my phone has a function where someone reads the Bible to you. That is especially handy for my Bible plan that I’m working on. It’s planned so that you read the entire Bible in a year. I’ve only read the Bible completely once. I read it from cover to cover…from Genesis to Revelations. That’s tough. You get stuck in all those begats and Kings and it’s difficult to keep from going cross eyed. 

\n

This plan reads a couple of chapters from the Old Testament and the New Testament. Then it reads some from Psalms and finishes with Proverbs. Every day. Once I got two weeks behind and swore I’d never do that again. Then over the weekend, I hit the two week behind mark again. Currently I’m only behind nine days. I have some catching up to do. Listening over the headphones accomplished two things…it helped me catch up a bit and it let me stitch the Word into my work. Then I prayed over the quilt and hugged it close and sent it off to my friend, hoping she feels the love and hugs and prayers put into each stitch.

\n

I’m counting down the days for my trip now. We’ve all learned from experience just how fast a week can go by. It will be no time and I’ll be off to the Hershey RV Show. I’ll meet Janine there and we’ll work the show for two days. Then we’ll be off to Huntington, WV. 

\n

I’ve been researching stays for my trip and all the writing that is going to be involved with it. Lots of driving. Lots of photo editing. Plus another project that’s coming up very soon. PLUS my own writing here. That’s a ton of work. What I will have to do is share my trip writing here on some of the days. It will be extremely difficult (I think) to write the daily essays you and I have become accustomed to. Then again, writing on this blog has become my bedtime ritual and I may not be able to sleep until I write something here.

\n

At any rate, you and I are about to embark on a VERY exciting journey filled with fun experiences and beautiful scenery. And sometimes we’ll still talk about grief. Because, you know…it’s what we do here. Grief and joy can exist at the same time.

\n

❤️

\n
“a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;”\n

Ecclesiastes 3:7 ESV

\n 

\n", "date_published": "2019-09-06T01:30:17-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/09/06/stitched-with-love.html", "tags": ["Health","Travel","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Gratitude","Comfort","Love","Courage","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/09/04/the-other-side-of-fear.html", "title": "The Other Side of Fear", "content_html": "

\"\" “Everything you want is on the other side of fear.” Jack Canfield

\n

I hear from a lot of widows who face fear as one of their most difficult symptoms of grief. Fear of the unknown…fear of being alone…fear of other people’s motives. Navigating grief is difficult enough on it’s own. Add fear, anxiety, and even full blown panic attacks and it ratchets grief up to an unbearable level. 

\n

I’ve always had a bit of an anxious nature. Anticipatory social anxiety. Commonly called “stage fright”. I’ve come a long way in learning to control it. Sometimes it bothers me. Sometimes it doesn’t. I’ve learned the things I most want to do lie on the other side of that fear, so I have to figure out ways to get through to the other side in order to find my bliss.

\n

The fear I felt early on after losing Mr. Virgo was different than my usual pre-speech jitters. It was hold-onto-the-edge-of-the-mattress-all-night awful. Through trial and error, I’ve learned a lot of skills…tools for my tool box, so to speak. If I feel myself amping up, one of the things that almost immediately calms me down is listening to praise music. If I’m singing at the top of my lungs, its really difficult to be scared. 

\n

I’ve had so many people tell me they would really love to take off camping or traveling by themselves but they are too scared. The bottom line any grief mentor should take is honoring what others are and are not capable of. That being said, if it really is something you want to do, there are ways you can ease into scary situations without jumping in with both feet.

\n

Finding a like-minded friend to do things with can help a lot when it comes to doing new things. Taking little baby steps helps, as well. If your dream is to take a month long trip to Europe but you have panic attacks going to the grocery store, you need to desensitize yourself. Start with little excursions. A short day trip. Repeat till you’re comfortable. Then an overnight, then two…you get the idea. Getting professional help can go a long way toward building your confidence and getting down to the root of the issues you face.

\n

When I was planning the trip to Colorado, my biggest concerns were the social obligations of my daughter’s wedding and being so far away from Mr. FixIt. Losing Mr. Virgo so suddenly brings the possibility of a repeat to the forefront of my imagination. So, yeah…that makes me nervous. The night before the trip, my stomach was in knots but I did my routine and the next morning, I was good to go. It’s not the actual DOING that bothers me…it’s the anticipation. And, sometimes I just have to do the thing and feel the fear.

\n

I’m really excited about the opportunity to take this new camper around. There’s nothing about it that scares me, per se. I may have pre-trip jitters the night before. I may not. Knowing what it is, knowing how to redirect my thinking, knowing just what I need to do helps me feel less out of control and more confident in my own abilities. 

\n

What I want is often on the other side of fear, but that’s exactly what makes the experience so much richer. I know exactly what I had to get through to get there and that makes me brave! After all…so far, I have survived every single experience I’ve encountered in my life!

\n

❤️

\n
“Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.\"”\n

Deuteronomy 31:6 ESV

\n", "date_published": "2019-09-04T01:30:51-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/09/04/the-other-side-of-fear.html", "tags": ["Faith","Health","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","God","Peace","Wisdom","Fear","Aging","Choices","Change","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/09/02/the-tug-of-war.html", "title": "The Tug of War", "content_html": "

\"Angel “Angel on one hand, devil on the other…trying to have their way with me.”

\n

Mr. FixIt and I haven’t had a lot of time together this summer. I was gone a lot and, even though he joined me for three weeks in Colorado, we both have been working nonstop at this and that since we got home the first week of August. Here it is September already and I’m already preparing to leave again.

\n

We miss being together and we both know the importance of devoting time to our relationship. It’s been really nice this weekend because we took three days off for some much needed R&R. When I woke up yesterday, I was tired. My allergies have been giving me fits creating fluid in my ears which sometimes makes me dizzy. I laid in bed for twenty minutes telling myself it was perfectly fine to stay home…we didn’t have to go to church. I mean…it’s just this once, right? We go almost every Sunday when we are home. That deserves a day off to sleep in. I just didn’t feel good. I didn’t feel like going.

\n

As I let these thoughts run through my mind, I was almost convinced to turn over and go back to sleep when a stern “voice” shook me from my reverie. 

\n

“When you don’t FEEL like going is exactly when you NEED to go!”

\n

I quite literally jumped out of bed.

\n

Ohhhhh….my thinker was what was “sick”. Church is the place it gets healed.

\n

When I’m thinking I don’t need to go to church is exactly when I need it the most. And yesterday, I am not kidding…church felt like plugging in my jet pack. I got fed the energy and grace and love and lessons I needed and I left there convicted. Convinced the place to feel better is to draw closer to Jesus, not turn over and go back to sleep.

\n

It’s not enough to go every Sunday and get plugged in, hoping the charge lasts till the following Sunday. That obviously didn’t work last week because I easily could have opted out. My tug of war pitted the proverbial angel on one hand and devil on the other…each trying to pull me to their side. I know I can’t ever go wrong when I choose Jesus.

\n

The key is to draw closer…constantly. The Bible says we are to “pray without ceasing” (1 Thessalonians 5:17). The way to do that is to turn whatever you are doing into worship. Whether you are singing in the choir or scrubbing toilets, it can be done with a tone of worship and praise. And when we pray, we are to devote ourselves “to prayer, keeping alert in it with an attitude of thanksgiving” (Colossians 4:2)

\n

Just that boost, and the conviction to keep close, has given me rest and regeneration. I feel so much better and not nearly so overwhelmed by all I need to accomplish in the next two weeks. I came to the farm after church…to my place of meditation…to the home of my heart…and enjoyed a quiet evening while Mr. FixIt bowled. Today, I’ll go back home and get some work done. Perhaps I’ll pressure wash the deck!

\n

❤️

\n
“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”\n

Romans 12:2 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2019-09-02T01:30:54-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/09/02/the-tug-of-war.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Hope","Positive Energy","West Virginia","The Farm","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","God","Peace","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Aging","Choices","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/08/31/like-sands-through-the-hourglass.html", "title": "Like Sands Through the Hourglass...", "content_html": "

\"Comfort “Sending some cheerful hugs, love and prayers to one of my dearest peeps!”

\n

One of my dearest peeps is having a medical issue that will involve a lengthy period of medical treatments. I can’t be with her or give her hugs or bring her casseroles, so I’m doing the next best thing…I’m sending her a little “Comfort Quilt” to stuff in her tote and take to the hospital. I told her when she wraps herself up in it, she can feel my hugs and prayers because I’m putting both in it!

\n

I spent yesterday afternoon at the little quilt shop in town, cutting and sewing the quilt top. The owner and I spent the time chatting and visiting with the other women who came in to shop. When they were all gone, she asked if I would mind if she turned the TV back on. The last time I was there, she had been watching quilt tutorials. I normally hate TV, but anything educational is quite tolerable.

\n

Imagine my surprise when she turned on…wait for it…..Days of Our Lives! I didn’t even know that was still on the air! Well, I’m here to tell you…it is. I haven’t watched soap operas since Daughter #2 was a baby. I usually watched while I folded the laundry. Here’s the crazy thing…

\n

Maggie…Victor…Marlena…they’re ALL still there!!!

\n

And they’ve been stuck in the same wine cellar since 1990!!!

\n

Seriously though…other than people carrying cell phones, you wouldn’t know 29 years had passed. There was one actress on there that plays two characters…one of whom wears those false teeth that made her look like her daddy drank up all the money for her orthodontia. And she had such a grossly over-exaggerated fake southern hick accent that it was insulting. Every word she said made me want to get up and slap her for making fun of me and my people.

\n

Anyway, I finished the quilt top and the shop owner will quilt it on the long arm tomorrow and I can pick it up Tuesday, sew on the binding and get it sent off with lots of love and hugs and prayers for complete healing and minimal side effects. When I get it finished, I’ll post another picture and you can send your prayers and hugs along with mine!

\n

Till then…I hope you have a fun and safe Labor Day Weekend. And, if you’re in the way of the hurricane…please be careful out there!!! Prayers for your health and safety!

\n

❤️

\n
“Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword.....No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.”\n‭‭Romans‬ ‭8:35, 37‬ ‭NIV‬‬
\n", "date_published": "2019-08-31T01:30:08-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/08/31/like-sands-through-the-hourglass.html", "tags": ["Health","Family","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Comfort","Grace","Love","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/08/28/when-bad-things-happenlean-in.html", "title": "When Bad Things Happen...Lean In Closer", "content_html": "

\"Prayers\" “Thank you so much for all of your prayers. I am so grateful.”

\n

Since June, there has been one catastrophic event after another befall my friends and family. Cancer, Stillbirth, Mental Heath Crises, Accidents, Illness, Death. One after another after another. I’ve heard it said “Bad things happen in threes.” Try three TIMES three…and then some! 

\n

I once read the book “When Bad Things Happen to Good People” by Harold Kushner. The author is a Conservative Rabbi and the book addressed the long standing debate: If God is loving and caring, how can so many bad things happen to good people? While the book was written in 1981, I turned to it in 2001 after 9/11.

\n

I had a difficult time reconciling a loving, omnipresent Deity “allowing” something so heinous to happen to thousands of innocent people. No doubt, people who loved Him, and worshiped Him whose only fault of the day was being in the wrong place at the wrong time. 

\n

I must admit, I was not yet a Christian on 9/11. It would be another three years before I took that leap of faith and surrendered to a God so much bigger than me. I was full of righteous anger that a “loving God” would allow this to happen. I could not wrap my head around it. I went to a psychiatrist and asked him for guidance. I was given a version of “these things happen”. Then I went to a Rabbi and asked him, “Where was God today???”

\n

“He was there,” he said. “He was under the desks with the mothers as they called frantically to tell their loved ones goodbye. He was in the stairwells with the brave men who were helping the injured trying to escape the chaos. He was with the First Responders as they rushed into the flaming buildings, knowing full well they may not come back out alive. And many did not.

\n

He was on the planes with the terrified passengers and crew members. He held steady those that made a mad rush on the terrorists over Pennsylvania. He was with the unsuspecting workers in the Pentagon and the Towers. God was everywhere, crying out in anguish as life after life was snuffed out.

\n

God does not punish us with cruelty. He does not take pleasure in our pain. But what He DOES do is turn those terrifying moments into opportunities to lean into Him. To call out for Him. To have faith that, even in the darkest moments, He never forsakes us.

\n

And that brings me to the events that have cast a shadow over my circle of friends and family…those I hold most dear and those whom I only know through others. We ask ourselves why these things happen, one on top of the other and the only answer there could be is…this is the nature of life. 

\n

As Stephen Colbert so eloquently stated on the subject of grief and the loss of his father and two brothers in a plane crash when he was ten: about learning to “love the thing that I most wish had not happened.” He went on to say: “It’s a gift to exist and with existence comes suffering. There’s no escaping that. What do you get from loss? You get awareness of other people’s loss, which allows you to connect with that other person, which allows you to love more deeply and to understand what it’s like to be a human being if it’s true that all humans suffer.”

\n

I hate that my loved ones and friends are suffering. I wish I could take that pain away from them. But, if by doing so, I would rob them of the awareness of other people’s loss and subsequent connection with them, then I am denying them their humanness…their connectedness. I would rob them of the opportunity to love more deeply and to truly understand what it’s like to be human. 

\n

What I CAN do for them is to be there for them, to hold a sacred, safe space for them to come to and grieve. And I can encourage them to seek a closer relationship with their higher power, which for me personally is God.

\n

Our pastor said something the other day that struck me. I’m paraphrasing, but it went something like this: When disaster strikes you and you wail in your grief, this is normal. But lean in very close and put your ear to God’s lips and listen. 

\n

He is closest to the brokenhearted.

\n

❤️

\n
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.”\n

Psalms 34:18 NLT

\n", "date_published": "2019-08-28T01:30:30-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/08/28/when-bad-things-happenlean-in.html", "tags": ["Faith","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","God","Wisdom","Fear","Choices","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/08/26/a-thousand-dragonflies.html", "title": "A Thousand Dragonflies", "content_html": "

\"Dragonfly\" “The dragonflies are prolific this year!”

\n

I love dragonflies. They serve a good purpose by eating mosquitos and other flying insects and they don’t bite humans! I am charmed by them. They will light on your finger or your shoulder. They hover around you as if to keep you company or to satisfy their curiosity. The other day I was leaving the doctor’s office and one flew alongside my window for at least a quarter mile. They make me smile.

\n

Mr. FixIt and I were out cleaning the pool on Saturday and there was a dragonfly floating dead in the water. We both remarked how many more dragonflies there are the last couple of years. I did some research and found it’s because of all the rain we’ve been getting. With more rain comes more mosquitoes and consequently, the predators are in hot pursuit.

\n

Somehow, I missed a big spot when I was mowing Saturday so I went out after church yesterday to finish up. I sat at the edge of the field in awe at the number of dragonflies hovering around me. From the website, Dragonfly Transitions, comes this: “In almost every part of the world, the Dragonfly symbolizes change, transformation, adaptability, and self-realization. The change that is often referred to has its source in mental and emotional maturity and understanding the deeper meaning of life.”

\n

Change. Transformation. Adaptability. Self-Realization. If that doesn’t describe my life, I don’t know what does. This year has been, and continues to be one of remarkable opportunities…for travel, for growth, for learning…for becoming MORE. I love this, because the moment we stop growing, we die. Maybe not literally…but figuratively. A stagnant life is a fate worse than death for me.

\n

I’ve said several times in the last week that I’ve been thinking a lot of my mom. I’ve been really missing her…more so than usual. As I was working with my calendar last night, I noticed today’s date. August 26th. My mom’s birthday. She’s been gone fifteen years now. She would have been 93 today. She died six weeks before her first great grandchild was born. As I sat rocking my second great grandchild in church yesterday, I thought of my mom and how much she loved children. She worked in the YWCA Daycare program and was the resident Grandma to hundreds of little ones. You couldn’t see her at work without some little person sitting on her lap at her desk.

\n

I was thinking it would be great to relate Mom to the appearance of the dragonflies…for the purposes of this essay, at least. But, I have no idea if she loved dragonflies. She probably did. I do know she loved the color purple…and roses, books, peaches, piccalilli, tchotchkes, helping people, and genealogy. She loved her grandchildren. And she was totally devoted to my brother who has cerebral palsy.

\n

No…we have dragonflies because it’s been a rainy year. And, I miss my mom so much because today’s her birthday. Two unrelated events, but yet both are symbolic of transformation and adaptability. 

\n

Here’s to Wanda Belle…an amazing and humble woman. Everyone who knew her, loved her and misses her. Happy Heavenly Birthday, Mama!

\n

❤️

\n
“So you have sorrow now, but I will see you again; then you will rejoice, and no one can rob you of that joy.”\n

John 16:22 NLT

\n", "date_published": "2019-08-26T01:30:31-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/08/26/a-thousand-dragonflies.html", "tags": ["Family","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Love","Aging","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/08/22/i-miss-my-camper.html", "title": "I Miss My Camper!", "content_html": "

\"\" “It’s amazing how a queen size mattress fits in there.”

\n

I’m missing my camper. I still have Big TOW-Wanda, but she’s not equipped to camp in right now. I removed her shades as soon as I bought her and they were stored at the farm. At the beginning of summer, I was seriously considering selling her because I had the little camper. I brought the shade back from the farm and they are on the floor, the bed isn’t made, and it’s too hot to sleep out there unless the AC is running. Every time I try to turn on the AC with the camper connected to the house, it trips the circuit. Now that Little TOW-Wanda is gone, I’m having second thoughts about selling the big camper. It would be really nice to have a seasonal site on the river and she would be perfect for that.  

\n

So, we have been sleeping in the house. We got really spoiled by the memory foam mattress in the little camper. It’s honestly the best sleep we’ve both had because we toss and turn a lot at night. The old mattress we have in the house shakes like crazy every time one of us rolls over. Not so with memory foam. You could drop a bowling ball on one side and not wake the other person. We managed to salvage the mattress out of the little camper before I sold it in Colorado, but we couldn’t figure out a way to get it and everything else home. We decided to give it to Ben & Sue and put it in their guest bedroom.

\n

We finally decided to give in and buy a mattress just like the one in the little camper. We had to do some sleuthing, but we finally found the same mattress by Serta for sale at Sam’s Club. After several trips to our local Sam’s, we never found the queen size in stock so we ordered it online and it arrived yesterday.

\n

I don’t know if you have ever seen how these mattresses are shipped or not. They come vacuum packed and rolled up tightly, wrapped in heavy plastic, and shipped in a box. And, they are heavy! I managed to get the old mattress off the bed and when Mr. FixIt got home, we unpacked the new mattress and placed it on the box springs. We unwrapped it, unrolled it, and took the protective vacuum bag off. Like magic it went from a compressed three inch thick mat to a perfect twelve inch thick mattress in a matter of minutes! It was astonishing!

\n

Now that we have a memory foam mattress inside, will we ever sleep outside in the field in a camper again? Oh, you can bet your boots we will. We’ll just have to wait till it gets cooler. And, it won’t be too long till we can pick up the new camper at the RV show and it will be a moot point anyway. Lots of camping adventures are in the works. I’ve started making and strategizing! In the meantime, I am determined to sleep like a baby on this wonderful new mattress!

\n

❤️

\n
“Suddenly a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat. But Jesus was sleeping.”\n

Matthew 8:24 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2019-08-22T01:30:52-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/08/22/i-miss-my-camper.html", "tags": ["Health","Travel","Overcoming Obstacles","Gratitude","Comfort","Peace","Aging","Change","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/08/20/do-you-remember-when.html", "title": "Do You Remember When.....?", "content_html": "

\"Old “Clockwise from Top Right: Phone Booth, Fireweed, Joe Pye Weed, Naked Ladies (Belladona Lily)

\n

Mr. FixIt took the day off yesterday. I had to run a couple of errands, but I was back home by noon. The temperature was already well into the 90’s by then and I actually had the thought…”Ok, I’m done. I’m ready for FALL!” Cool, crisp days with a warm sweater, sipping a mug of cider while gazing at the changing of the leaves suddenly sounds very appealing to me. And this from a woman who hates fall because winter is right behind it. Not this year…I’m ready for this sweltering heat wave to break.

\n

We never did put the window air conditioner in the family room this summer. Mostly because we were gone a lot. And also, it didn’t get all that hot till we were ready to leave on our big trip out west. At this point, I told Mr. FixIt we should just skip that particular ordeal this year altogether. It is quite a chore getting that huge air conditioner into the window and before we know it, we won’t need it anyway. That being said, we were both tired of the heat by 5:00 so he asked me if I wanted to go for a drive with him. 

\n

We love going for drives in the countryside. West Virginia has the best roads for drives and there’s always something interesting around the next bend. We kept remarking how overgrown everything is from all the rain this summer. Old abandoned houses are all but swallowed up by vines that threaten to take them by force into the woods. The Joe Pye Weed covers the roadsides with its smoky pink blossoms. Naked Ladies (Belladona Lilies) poke their heads up in the corners of rural lawns. Dark pink Fireweed mingles with Goldenrod, Queen Anne’s Lace, and Black-eyed Susans. They all look like weeds, but they are West Virginia’s cacophony of late summer wildflowers.

\n

We had no idea where we would end up. We drove past the greenhouses in Palestine and saw they are filled with baskets of mums that will bloom in October. We drove past the place where they used to produce railroad ties. Mr. FixIt said the trucks traveled by night because their loads were always way over the weight limit. He said you could tell it was the railroad ties because the heavy night air smelled of creosote long after they’d passed.

\n

We finally pulled into Spencer, West Virginia…an old town built on the backs of the oil, gas, and timber industries. There are some beautiful old houses there. At one time, the State Psychiatric Hospital was located there and if you weren’t good growing up, “you’ll get hauled off to Spencer” was fair warning to shape up. Now it’s just like any other tired, old town in the Mountain State…bored adolescent boys yelling from passing cars, bored adolescent girls giggling in the booth at Wendy’s over a series of texts and photos they were sharing. An old man climbed into a car with barely enough room for him to sit in the driver’s seat. The rest of the car was filled wall-to-wall and floor-to-ceiling with trash. Literal trash. He opened the door to the back seat and carefully placed his half-full cup of soda on top of the pile, closed the door, and got in to drive off to who knows where.

\n

The Wendy’s was impeccably clean inside so we stopped for a bite to eat before we drove on to Ripley, then past Ravenswood to Mineral Wells and on home. Mr. Fixit said it would be dark by the time we got home and he was right. I love these kind of evenings with him…away from the television, going for a drive, holding hands and laughing and telling stories. It occurred to me, one of the very best things about our relationship is…even though we’ve only been together since late 2016, we have so many memories in common. We were best friends in high school. While he lived all but a few years of his life within a 20 mile radius of where we were born, I lived two years in England and forty years in Colorado. But, I still came home for a visit every year so I had my finger on the pulse of my hometown. We lived our lives in a parallel trajectory for sixty-some years before our paths crossed for good. We have much of the same history and memories.

\n

As the sun was beginning to make it’s last glorious descent over the beautiful Ohio River, I saw this phone booth standing alone near the Wendy’s parking lot. I turned to Mr FixIt and smiled.

\n

“Do you remember when…..?”

\n

❤️

\n
“But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.”\n

Luke 2:19 NIV

\n 

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2019-08-20T01:30:50-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/08/20/do-you-remember-when.html", "tags": ["Family","Travel","Uplifting Stories","Positive Energy","Fun","West Virginia","Gratitude","Comfort","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Aging","Choices","Be Joyful!","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/08/19/bowling-season-has-begun.html", "title": "Bowling Season Has Begun", "content_html": "

\"Pink “Pink roses and strawberries…and bowling season. Somebody loves me!”

\n

Mr. FixIt is an avid bowler. He’s been on two bowling leagues for the last thirty-five years and he enjoys it immensely. He has friends there. He has ample opportunity to talk. It’s his guy time. And, I enjoy having a couple of evenings a week to do whatever I want to do as well. Honestly, I fell asleep late in the afternoon and didn’t hear him leave. When I woke up, I caught up with my Sunday evening phone calls and chats so it was a relaxing evening.

\n

When he arrived home, he went into the kitchen to fix something to eat and we were trying to carry on a conversation while I was in the family room. He called out, “You know…I could hear you better if you were in here with me.” Of course! Sometimes we get so wrapped up in what we’re doing, we forget the basic manners and niceties we should offer those we love most.

\n

I walked into the kitchen and there on the counter was a dozen pink roses and two cartons of fresh strawberries! I am always thunderstruck when he surprises me with these lovely unexpected gifts of love. 

\n

I looked at him and smiled. “What’s this?”

\n

“It’s been a little while since I brought you flowers. It was time.” He smiled back.

\n

What goodness this is…this life that is sweeter than any red strawberry…softer than any pink rosebud. This is a blessing. This is God’s gift to me. This man who lifts me up and celebrates who I am. Who cheers me on and encourages me to explore and be everything I can be. This man who holds my hand in church and prays alongside me. Who holds me and comforts me when I am sick or sad. I only pray I give him this same love back every day of my life.

\n

There was so much sadness in my life after Mr. Virgo died. I swore I would never fall in love…never remarry…because the thought of going through that again was too much to bear. Then color came back into my life. And I could hear music and I could breathe and somehow I knew I could love again. I don’t know how long we have together…but it’s bowling season and I have strawberries and pink roses and my life is good.

\n

❤️

\n
“Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.”\n

Matthew 5:4 NIV

\n 

\n", "date_published": "2019-08-19T01:30:06-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/08/19/bowling-season-has-begun.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","Fun","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Aging","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!","Widow","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/08/14/the-farm-is-failing.html", "title": "The Farm is Failing", "content_html": "

\"Green “The farm is the home of my heart…but it’s aging rapidly.”

\n

Mr. FixIt and I have been back from Colorado for a week now. We talked over the weekend and decided to go to the farm for a couple of days because I haven’t been there since the third week of June. I really miss the farm when I’m away and can’t get there. Then, Monday morning came and there was so much to get done at the Ponderosa. Still…the farm…

\n

I decided to bring the dirty laundry and come to the farm on my own for a couple of days. Mr. FixIt is capable of taking care of himself and, while he misses me…he understands my need to be at the farm sometimes. He’s a good guy.

\n

There was a hard rain come through yesterday. I sat on the front porch and watched and it was soon over. The sun came out and the green dazzled my eyes. Everything was so clean and fresh. I sat for the longest time and just scoured the hillside and surrounding area…looking for differences.

\n

The power line coming to the transformer on the pole in front of the house is noticeably drooping down low over the road. A tall vehicle could easily catch that. I’ll have to report it today. Also, the big pine tree on the bank seems to be leaning further out there over the driveway. I pulled up older pictures from the same vantage point to verify both the line and the tree. Something’s going to have to be done with that, too.

\n

I noticed Monday afternoon, there’s a wild grape vine on the power line between the house and the cinderblock building. None of that was there before I left for Colorado. This monsoon summer has created an overgrowth the likes of which I have never seen here. It’s like a tropical rain forest.

\n

When I did a walkabout yesterday, I noticed another tree on the hillside across the creek from the house that has split in half. But it appears the uphill half is actually falling up the hill. That has always been the main concern here. This little holler is so narrow, and the ground is shale and very soft. It wouldn’t take much to bring trees down on this house.

\n

Maybe the earth is taking her back. Maybe it’s the natural progression of old farm houses. I do know, to bring this place back to life and prosperity would take far more money than it’s worth. And, a ton…an absolute TON of work. We’re not OLD…but we are 66 and 67. The other day, I told Mr. FixIt…if we were just 30 years younger, we could do so much with this place.

\n

I think what I have to do is start saying goodbye to the old home place…in earnest. I know there will come a time when it isn’t safe to stay here without cutting down a bunch of trees…without upgrading the electricity…without shoring up the beams in the basement and the attic. My time here is getting shorter…I can feel it. I’m working on girding my heart in preparation.

\n

It’s like the old man who can tell it’s going to rain by the pain in his knee. The only difference is…this pain is in my heart.

\n

❤️

\n
“\"Is it a time for you yourselves to dwell in your paneled houses, while this house lies in ruins?”\n

Haggai 1:4 ESV

\n", "date_published": "2019-08-14T01:30:36-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/08/14/the-farm-is-failing.html", "tags": ["Family","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","West Virginia","The Farm","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","Wisdom","Courage","Aging","Presence","Warning","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/08/02/no-worse-for-the-wear.html", "title": "No Worse for the Wear", "content_html": "

\"Old “While once sleek and shiny, these vehicles still hold a deep beauty.”

\n

We left Ridgway yesterday saying goodbye to our friends, Linda and Jim. We both choked up…goodbyes have always been difficult for me ever since I lost Mr. Virgo. We just don’t know if and when we will meet again and it tears at my heartstrings. I know Linda loves Colorado, but deep down, she has that Ohio farm girl in there somewhere. I loved watching her as she listened to Mr. FixIt’s unmistakable West Virginia accent and she was transported back over the years and the miles to the home of her youth.

\n

Even though we didn’t go to the same high school with Linda, we know many of the same people…one of whom is Jeff. He and his wife Julie moved to the Ridgway area a couple of years ago. It’s funny how the webs of friendship cross over. Linda and Jeff were both friends with Cindy (a girl from my class) and that’s how they connected. I am friends with Cindy and that’s how Linda connected with me and the connection with Jeff was made through Linda and because he was on the boy’s gymnastics team while I competed with the girl’s team the same year. And….Mr. FixIt was on that same team with Jeff! See what a teeny tiny world it is? Jeff and Julie joined us for dinner at Linda’s Wednesday night. Mr. FixIt hadn’t seen Jeff in forty-eight years. There were lots of stories and laughs and we all had a grand time.

\n

We drove north out of Ridgway, through Montrose and Olathe (home of Olathe Sweet Corn) and on to Delta. I kept my eyes peeled for a place I found when I was on “The Grand Adventure”…that three month odyssey into the wilderness and backroads after Mr. Virgo died. It’s just a vacant lot on the main drag that’s filled with old, broken down cars and trucks. I don’t know why it attracted me that first time, but I couldn’t wait to show Mr. FixIt.

\n

We were almost to our turnoff to head east over McClure Pass when I saw them. Red vehicles…either from the faded and flaked paint or the rust beneath. Some had their hoods strapped down. Others had holes in the glass from years of being the target of vandals or the errant stone thrown back in the day when they motored down the highways of old. Mr. FixIt caught his breath.

\n

“Oh, wow! Would you look at that!” A smile crept across his face and his eyes sparkled like a little boy who just found the coolest treasure stuck on a dusty shelf. I immediately pulled over and threw the truck in park. We jumped out and walked up and down the rows of derelict automobiles resting on their rims because of long ago rotted and airless tires. We peeked in through hazy windows at the scraps of stuffing clinging to the old and rusted springs of the seats inside. 

\n

“Oh, look! Is that a Nash? A Studebaker? What’s this one? Ford used to make a Cortina. Do you suppose that’s what this one is?” This went on and on as we dodged the large mud holes formed from the afternoon storms we’ve been getting and made our way through the maze of cars.

\n

As I looked at these rusted out hulks, I thought about beauty being in the eye of the beholder. I have to be perfectly honest…I’ve had some trepidation about the wedding this weekend. My daughter’s dad lives in a world I no longer belong to. He’s a doctor, and consequently lives like a doctor in a fine house. With fine friends. And a fine wife. Fine furnishings. Fine food. A fine life. I used to circle in that orbit, although I never really felt a part of that world, although I tried very hard to make myself fit in. 

\n

I have to admit. I’ve let myself be a little self conscious about my comfortable tummy and my jelly thighs and my granny-wing upper arms knowing ever so painfully how that was judged by those in that orbit. I’ve been praying about it a lot. And God whispered to me as I wandered amongst these vehicles what were once sleek and shiny and new.

\n

“You don’t have to fear that world. You don’t have to feel bad for the way you fit in your body all comfy-like. You don’t have to concern yourself with what anyone else thinks of you….just remember I love you. Completely. Just the way you are. Just love them all the way I love you.”

\n

You see…the very act of feeling self conscious and judged puts me in a place where I’m being the judge. I don’t know what’s in their hearts and minds. A lot of water has gone under the bridge since those days so long ago when I circled around that orbit. It’s a foreign land to me now. I have no reason to feel “less than” anyone. I can walk right in, on the arm of a man I adore and who adores me right back. We’ve created a life that fits us perfectly and we’re perfectly happy.

\n

It’s all about love, trust, letting go, and letting God take care of the details. I’m comfortable in this life, this body…no matter where I go or who I run into. None of this is about me anyway. It’s totally about my daughter and her joy anyway. Yes…it’s all about love!

\n

❤️

\n
“Yet you, Lord, are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand. Do not be angry beyond measure, Lord; do not remember our sins forever. Oh, look on us, we pray, for we are all your people.”    Isaiah 64:8-9 NIV
\n \n", "date_published": "2019-08-02T01:30:06-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/08/02/no-worse-for-the-wear.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Travel","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Positive Energy","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Courage","Aging","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!","Widow","Wedding"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/07/25/a-glimpse-of-heaven.html", "title": "A Glimpse of Heaven", "content_html": "

\"A “A Glimpse of Heaven in the Colorado Night Sky”

\n

I knew this would happen. I blinked and a month flew by. I left on this journey exactly four weeks ago. Time is such a weird thing after loss. On the one hand…it flies. On the other…it stands still. I got some quality time with my Colorado family. Mr. FixIt has been here almost two weeks already. The package I’ve been expecting for my brother arrived yesterday so now we can pack up and go off on a little adventure on our own before the wedding.

\n

Grandma L. is still hanging in there. She is such a strong woman. She rallies and fades, rallies and fades. They moved her from her apartment at assisted living to a skilled nursing facility on Monday. She had a dream on Tuesday night. At least, she thinks it was a dream. She was lying in bed and her legs felt like stone. But then, she was standing up…strong and vital. She looked around it was so glorious. She saw a crevice and knew she was supposed to jump over it. She knew she COULD. She didn’t see Grandpa right off, but she knew she could find him easily. Instead, she decided to come back and tell us all how absolutely peaceful and grand it is. I love that she could see it all so clearly and she isn’t afraid.

\n

I know she might pass away while we are gone, but I didn’t want to wear her out by adding to the number of visitors going to see her. There are other closer relatives who need to spend time with her. I was able to hug on her last Saturday at her birthday party and she absolutely knows how I feel about her. Her absence will leave a gaping hole for quite some time in the lives of those who knew and loved her.

\n

We all went out for supper last night after they moved everything out of Grandma’s apartment at the assisted living place. There were twelve of us. As I walked back to the table with my food, I paused for a moment and gazed over this beautiful family my daughter was so fortunate to marry into. Another part of my bonus family. We are so blessed…with kids and their kids and us grandparents. We are becoming the matriarchs. I thought it would take longer.

\n

Mr. FixIt and I will head out today for a week of touring the state. We were supposed to do this with the camper, but it’ll all work out without it. I love showing him places he’s never been! So…here we go on another road trip, y’all. Hang on!

\n

❤️

\n
“Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”\n

2 Corinthians 4:16-18 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2019-07-25T01:30:08-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/07/25/a-glimpse-of-heaven.html", "tags": ["Faith","Colorado","Family","Travel","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Aging","Choices","Change","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/07/13/revisiting-memories.html", "title": "Revisiting Memories", "content_html": "

\"Drum “Daughter #2…Marching to her own drum!”

\n

When Daughter #2 was thirteen years old, she and I took off for a three week road trip. It was epic. She was not only in that early teenager mode. We were also working on repairing the damage done from years of depression and too many prescriptions and martinis…not to mention the overdose. It took a lot out of our relationship.

\n

When I arrived in Denver this visit, the ultimate goal is the wedding. My baby is getting married. My little Moon Pie. Only, she’s a full grown woman…out on her own…thriving…dancing to her own drum, as always. We saw each other  the day after I got here and spent several hours visiting and dining out. She made me promise we would do one special thing…just the two of us…before the wedding.

\n

She wanted to go antiquing.

\n

I couldn’t believe my ears. Antiquing? This poor kid was dragged, kicking and screaming, into every antique store in West Virginia, I think. And several between there and Colorado. I loved going to antique stores. She did not. So, this was new. I asked her what brought on this miraculous transformation. 

\n

“I don’t know. Just…suddenly, I find myself looking at antiques online. For fun.”

\n

Ladies and gentleman…there IS life after adolescence!!!

\n

So, yesterday was our antiquing adventure. We started out by having lunch with Daughter #1, Big, and Little. Oh…if you have children, you know what that did to my heart…sitting there with my Colorado kids! ❤️melt After lunch, Daughter #2 and I went to the Brass Armadillo off I-70 and Kipling.

\n

We walked in and she stopped in her tracks. Her eyes widened, her mouth dropped open, and she gasped.

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“This place is HUGE!”

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Yes, my girl…it is!

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We wandered around for three hours. She kept grabbing my arm and pulling me over to see this or that. Lots of oooohs and aaaahs and wows. Several times she wrapped her arms around me and hugged me tight and thanked me so much for doing this with her. That’s when I realized…this was SO much more than going to see a bunch of old stuff.

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This was a celebration. Of healing. Of love. Of warm memories shared. Even of forgiveness. This was a bonding ritual…something only she and I could share as the wedding rapidly approaches and her life is forever changed. This was incredibly special. And we enjoyed every minute of it. 

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We didn’t get to see 1/4th of the store before we were both fried. We left arm in arm and headed out to the truck. I drove her back to her car. As she prepared to leave she reached over and kissed me on the cheek.

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“Thank you, mamacita. That was so much fun!”

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You’re welcome, Moon Pie.

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❤️

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“Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him.”\n

Psalm 127:3 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2019-07-13T01:30:54-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/07/13/revisiting-memories.html", "tags": ["Health","Family","Travel","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Fun","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Aging","Presence","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!","Widow","Wedding"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/07/07/making-little-memories.html", "title": "Making “Little” Memories!", "content_html": "

\"Twin “Little’s nest in TOW-Wanda!”

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Little is here! She has been at camp all week and we only saw each other for an hour after I arrived last Sunday. I spent a good deal of time with Big this week, so I could hardly wait till Little got back and came over to “camp” with me.

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She is my camper. No one else in my Colorado family is even remotely interested in camping. We had big plans to take the camper up in the mountains and stay a couple of days, but with the unfortunate demise of TOW-Wanda…we had to change plans.

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I have the camper pulled around behind Ben & Sue’s house, underneath a locust tree. It doesn’t offer anything but a feeling of protection from the frequent hail storms we’ve had this week. I’m plugged into electric and water so I have all the comforts of home in my own little suite.

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This incarnation of TOW-Wanda has a queen sized bed with a memory foam mattress that is swoon worthy. It had a bunk bed over the queen bed that also had a memory foam mattress on it. I removed that because I couldn’t sit up without hitting my head. The little dinette collapses down to make a separate twin sized bed that uses the seat cushions for a mattress. Not comfortable for an adult, but just fine for a kid.

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Since I’ll be selling this camper here, I went to Walmart yesterday and bought some plastic tubs with tight fitting lids. I spent a couple of hours yesterday taking things out of the camper and fitting them neatly into the storage bins and put them in the back of my truck underneath the tonneau cover. See? There’s a reason I got that before this trip!

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With all the extras removed, Little has plenty of room to stretch out and be comfortable while she camps with me. We went out for ribs last night. (Big is a vegetarian so Little and I have to get our carnivore cravings satisfied while her sister isn’t with us.) We had “Mamma Mia: The Movie” downloaded on the iPad to watch after dark.

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I don’t get to see my Colorado grands very often…so when I do, I need to make deep and lasting memories with them. Camping with Little last night. Shopping with Big this afternoon. Life is so good!

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❤️

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“Children’s children are a crown to the aged, and parents are the pride of their children.”\n

Proverbs 17:6 NIV

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\n", "date_published": "2019-07-07T01:30:08-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/07/07/making-little-memories.html", "tags": ["Colorado","Family","Travel","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","Fun","Gratitude","Comfort","goRVing","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Presence","Choices","Be Joyful!","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/06/26/a-tidy-purchase.html", "title": "A Tidy Purchase", "content_html": "

\"Tonneau “A tonneau cover turned out to be an extraordinary pargain!”

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I told you all yesterday about our great find…a tonneau cover for my truck. We installed it yesterday and it was SO easy. It only took about fifteen minutes to do. We had to trim a couple small places in order for the tailgate to close, but that was super easy to do. We didn’t realize exactly how good this deal was till Mr. FixIt looked up this particular model of cover. New, they sell for nearly $800! And the carpeted bed liner sells for almost $500! We got them both for $75!!! Ok, I’m a little excited! Such a good bargain hunter I have for a husband.

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We went to the farm yesterday. It appears the young man we had arranged to mow the yard…didn’t. But that’s ok. It is still mow-able without having to bale it. It is awfully wet out there. In the two weeks we were gone, the farm got over four inches of rain. We only got two at the Ponderosa. The ground is soggy when you walk out there. The house at the farm sits back in a holler and doesn’t get much sunlight. It’s nice for keeping cool, but causes a lot of problems with mold and mildew.

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We noticed some evidence of termites this time. The first time I’ve seen that so we need to jump on that right away. I did a deep cleaning out there because my uncle is coming for a visit while I’m in Colorado and I wanted fresh bed linens for him. I mopped the floors and dusted. Mr. FixIt cleared off the back porch and scrubbed it down. Everything looked wonderful when we were finished.

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I had every intention of leaving for Colorado today, but have decided to wait till tomorrow. This way I don’t have to run at breakneck speed getting everything done and I can take my time. The linens have all been washed and put back on the bed. I have some items to take out of the camper…things I took camping at Blackwater Falls and won’t need on this trip. This will cut down on the weight I pull which will improve my fuel consumption.

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Oh, another thing Mr. FixIt did for me. Something was wrong with the water pump in the little camper. A water pump is supposed to turn on, build up pressure, then shut off. It only comes back on when the water pressure drops as you’re using water in the sink or toilet. Mine wouldn’t shut off. It ran on and on and was dreadfully loud. While we were in Florida, we discussed it and I ordered a new pump. It was here when we returned. Mr. FixIt installed it yesterday and it works perfectly! Now the only things I have to do is replace the shower nozzle and test out the hot water heater and we’re in business. Having your own shower when you camp is such a luxury.

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I’m really getting excited now about the trip. I can’t wait to see my Colorado family…I’ve missed them so much! Today will be fun packing and preparing for a much needed road trip. Many of you asked yesterday. Mr. FixIt will fly out in a few weeks to join me before the wedding. Then, we will camp around Colorado and all the way back across the country. I’ve been looking forward to this trip for a whole year…I can hardly wait to get started and savor every single moment!!!

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❤️

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“Blessed shall you be when you come in, and blessed shall you be when you go out.”    Deuteronomy 28:6 ESV
\n", "date_published": "2019-06-26T01:30:58-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/06/26/a-tidy-purchase.html", "tags": ["Family","Travel","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","Fun","New Ideas","Gratitude","Comfort","Wisdom","Choices","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/06/23/home-again-home-again.html", "title": "Home Again, Home Again!", "content_html": "

\"Vacation “Clockwise from top: The BEST Carolina BBQ I have EVER eaten…Phifers!, I almost finished one sock this trip, Griffen the Grey (a French Bulldog), a field of yellow lilies.”

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I love a good road trip. And I love getting back to my own bed. In this case…the one in TOW-Wanda! I have missed this camper so much while we were gone. Isn’t that silly? Mr. FixIt and I were trying to explain to our friends in South Carolina the merits of sleeping in our little camper out on our property with this really great memory foam mattress. I think they got it. No matter…we made a bee line home yesterday and I barely emptied the truck before I was stretched out and writing this!

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I got a text from Big yesterday asking if we were about to get hit with some bad storms. I thought we had dodged them, but apparently not. We stopped in Statesville, NC at an RV dealer to get something when the sky started looking really menacing. We hurried over to our favorite BBQ joint and just got seated when the rain started coming down in buckets.

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This barbecue place was just a chance find a couple of years ago. We stopped over night in Statesville that trip and the gal at the front desk said we had to go to Phifer’s for the best BBQ in North Carolina. Now, I’m not a huge fan of the North Carolina style sauce. It has more of a mustard base and has a distinct vinegary taste to it. But theirs? Oh…..my…..gosh. It is sublime!

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I asked the nice BBQ lady yesterday what the best thing on their menu was. She said, “ALL of the things!” I said…bring it!

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I had a BBQ sandwich with the slaw on it. And a side of fries. I am a fast eater. Mr. FixIt is always getting on me about that. Not yesterday. I savored every last morsel. And, I kid you not, when I beheld the last bite between my thumb and index finger…I felt sad. It was over! It ended far too soon!!! It was a heady experience that I wanted to hang onto. The sauce has just the slightest kick to it. And it seemed there were red pepper flakes in the meat itself. So my mouth held onto this delicious warmth for an hour or so afterwards. I have never experienced food in such a way before!

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I want to get back in the car and live next door to this place.

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Is that so unreasonable?

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Ok…ok. I’ll just have to wait till the next time, I suppose. Uber eats would be WAY over the top, right? 

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It rained on us part of the way home but it wasn’t too bad. I almost finished knitting one sock of the pair. I caught a picture of a field of yellow lilies. And there’s little Griffen, the grey! He was just as kissable as he looks.

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And here it the very best part…there was NO water in the basement!!! Thank you, Jesus…we’re coming to Your house this morning!

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❤️

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“Go, eat your bread with joy, and drink your wine with a merry heart, for God has already approved what you do.”\n

Ecclesiastes 9:7 ESV

\n", "date_published": "2019-06-23T01:30:48-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/06/23/home-again-home-again.html", "tags": ["Travel","Uplifting Stories","Positive Energy","Fun","Gratitude","Comfort","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/06/21/vacations-past-present.html", "title": "Vacations: Past \u0026 Present", "content_html": "

\"Vacation “Vacation Photos: The Making of Memories”

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The idea of a vacation was totally foreign to me till I was in my late twenties. My family were not big travelers. We didn’t go to the beach every summer like many of my friends’ families did. We didn’t go camping or hike or play on the river that was a mere five blocks from our house. My Grandma was only west of the Mississippi a couple of times in her life. The first was to see my Uncle Sonny get his wings as an Air Force pilot. The second was when she went to Minnesota to visit my aunt’s resort on Lake Kabetogama. Two vacations in her life.

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We didn’t have the money to have extravagant vacations. We visited my aunt and uncle over near the eastern panhandle of West Virginia for a week every summer. That was as close to a vacation that I ever got until I was married to Hubby #2. Our first real vacation was a road trip, car camping around Colorado. After that, we went to West Virginia several times to visit family and one year we went on a twenty mile backpack trip there.

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The first extravagant vacation we had was a trip to Cancun with friends the year before I had Daughter #2. We went to Hawaii once, but it was very difficult to get him away from his practice for very long. We did quick trips to DC, Yellowstone, and Disney. After he and I parted company, I traveled alone whenever I could. I took Daughter #2 on a three week road trip when she turned thirteen and took her to Mexico for her sixteenth birthday.

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When Mr. Virgo came along, we had great plans to travel when he retired. We did go on a long road trip for our honeymoon. We went to Utah once, and Yellowstone twice. In the summer of 2011, I took him to West Virginia to meet my family. He wanted to take me to Europe to see all the beautiful places he had been. We were buying a camper for retirement when he died.

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Heading out on my own again, this time with my own little camper, I found travel to be my solace…my escape…a panacea for the pain of losing my husband. I traveled a lot in those years following his death. And, I was still on the road when my Uncle Bud called me home to live on the family farm. Even living there seemed like a vacation…a dream vacation luxuriating in the memories of my loving family.

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Then, Mr. FixIt came along. Thankfully, he was retired and itching to get out and do things. We’ve already accomplished more travel in the short time we’ve been together than I did in the last thirty years. But, is it really “vacation” when you’re retired? Yes and no. No, because every day is Saturday, to some extent. We aren’t bound by the clock and time is somewhat our own. Yes when you consider all the work our properties entail.

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I am so grateful for the opportunities to travel and see new places. I know there may come a time in the future when I may not get to do these things, so I’m making up for lost time. I’m banking memories like a squirrel hiding nuts. Someday, I’ll look back on all this…I’ll read the pages of this blog or my book…and have some wonderful stories to tell.

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❤️

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“I perceived that there is nothing better for them than to be joyful and to do good as long as they live; also that everyone should eat and drink and take pleasure in all his toil—this is God's gift to man.”    \n

Ecclesiastes 3:12-13 ESV

\n", "date_published": "2019-06-21T01:30:50-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/06/21/vacations-past-present.html", "tags": ["Family","Travel","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","Fun","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Peace","Wisdom","Aging","Presence","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/06/17/early-bird-special.html", "title": "Early Bird Special", "content_html": "

\"Florida “Father’s Day in Florida…a little slice of Heaven!”

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It wasn’t that many years ago that I looked on as “old people” toddled into restaurants to eat dinner at 4:00 in the afternoon. The “Early Bird Special”.  “Bonkers!” I thought. “What on earth are they doing eating at this time of day? Don’t they know how to have FUN anymore?”

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HA!

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Guess who can’t eat anything other than Raisin Bran after 5:00??? Yeah…what goes around, comes around, don’t it?

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So Father’s Day started out great. A lovely breakfast served to my sweet man…father to a great family…love of my heart. Then, we headed to the Ponce deLeon Lighthouse. We’ve been there before. It was earlier in the day…I was in much better shape…and it wasn’t so darned hot the last time. The “feels like” temperature yesterday when we arrived at said lighthouse was 98 degrees. 

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When you came out of the drastically air conditioned gift shop into the Florida heat and humidity at 1:00 in the afternoon, it seriously felt like walking into a sauna. And, there were signs everywhere that said “No water bottles.” Among other important things to leave behind like pets and flip flops. 

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Seriously? You want a slightly pudgy West Virginian with heat intolerance to climb up 203 steps…without water…or air, for that matter. Ok, I’ve done it before…I’m sure I can do it again. As I climbed the stairs, I got to the first landing and remembered. THIS was the lighthouse I didn’t like before. It gets narrower and narrower the further up you go till it becomes really tight. AND…they don’t open the windows so there is zero air flow.

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The last time I felt like this was in 1989 when I climbed up the interior staircase of the hidden inner pyramid of Chichen Itza. Very narrow, steep stairs, slippery with the dampness, only the occasional incandescent bulb hanging dimly to lead your way. Four of us entered…our good friends, Hubby #2, and me. Only two of us made it up. Me and our friend’s husband. The others backed out with feelings of claustrophobia. 

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This felt tight and close like that and by the time I got up to that first flight, I couldn’t breathe. It was the heat and being out of and still feeling the effects of illness. There’s nothing wrong with saying, “Nope…not doing this one!” I went down and out and sat in a rocker on the front porch of the lighthouse keeper’s house, waiting for Mr. FixIt to come out on the balcony above.

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He snapped a few pictures and chatted with some folks from Roanoke then gave me a jaunty wave. When he came back down, he looked like a drowned rat. It was time to cool off and we headed for the air conditioned museums.

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Once we were cooler, we headed to the truck and drove down to New Smyrna Beach. I’ve got to tell you, driving down that narrow little street with the Father’s Day crowds didn’t feel much different than climbing that ever narrowing lighthouse with no air. I couldn’t believe how many people were crowded into such a tiny area. 

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I’ve been there before so I didn’t really need to get out. But it was Father’s Day…we do for the ones we love. I won out when we finally found ONE parking spot in a lot. You pay by entering your driver’s license number and stick in your credit card. When the fee came up in the window, I nearly fell over. $20.00! You had to pay for a full day. Nope! Not doing that either.

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We headed back toward our condo and we both decided we were hungry and wanted seafood. We came by Blackbeard’s Inn and remembered eating there the last time we were in Florida. We pulled in and had such a good meal. Blue crab cake and coconut shrimp with a baked potato. All perfectly delicious.

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What time was it, you ask? 

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4:00

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The Early Bird Special!

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sigh

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❤️

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‬‬“Do not reject me now that I am old; do not abandon me now that I am feeble.”    ‭‭Psalm‬ ‭71:9‬ ‭GNT
\n \n", "date_published": "2019-06-17T01:30:53-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/06/17/early-bird-special.html", "tags": ["Health","Family","Travel","Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","Fun","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Wisdom","Humbled","Aging","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/06/13/happy-birthday.html", "title": "Happy Birthday!", "content_html": "

\"Night “Happy Birthday, to ME!”

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June is my birthday month. 

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I love June. I love my birthday. So I just combine them and celebrate the whole month!

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After sleeping twelve hours straight on Tuesday night, Mr. FixIt and I went down to the beach and walked then played in the pool for a while. After lunch, I took a three hour nap. Seeing a trend there? It’s all about ME ‘cause it’s my birthday month!

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Just as I woke up, Mr. FixIt walked in to make sure I didn’t sleep too long and not be able to sleep later. Then he asked me that question every woman longs to hear.

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“How would you like to go eat ice cream for dinner?”

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Back off girls…I saw him first!

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Yes, ladies…I have married the perfect man. Not only does he celebrate my birthday with me for a month…but he also takes me out for an ice cream dinner. Sexiest man alive.

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After a dinner of butter pecan in a chocolate dipped waffle cone, we drove around. We shopped at a couple of Mr. FixIt’s stores. We found Aldi’s and picked up a few groceries. Wonderful strawberries for a dollar.

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A simple day…Birthday Eve.

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Today is my actual birthday.

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Sixty-six. Wow. Why does it sound so much older than sixty-five?

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Some of the grandchildren were over Monday evening before we left. I told them how old I was going to be.

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“Sixty-six! Can you believe that? It has been half a century since I was sixteen! Half a century!!! You know that’s fifty years, right???”

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My wise grandson-in-law said, “Did it go fast?”

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How do you answer that? Yes…it flew by in a nanosecond! No, it lasted forever! It’s both.

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It’s the coolest thing…to be sixteen plus fifty. I was sixteen in 1969…the summer of love. “God Bless Pink Summers ‘69!” That’s how my best friend signed her letters when she was off at a summer internship. Woodstock. Rock and Roll. Hippies. Bell bottoms. Long hair. 

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I thought I was free. 

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I was so wrong.

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It took living those fifty years to actually BECOME free. Funny how that works. I’d hate to have gone through all that and not learned the beautiful, hard, gritty, wonderful lessons involved. 

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Sixty-six. Nope, that doesn’t bother me a bit. 

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I’m a crone now. I love that!

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Happy Birthday to ME!

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❤️

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““ ‘ “The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace.” ’”    Numbers 6:24-26 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2019-06-13T01:30:17-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/06/13/happy-birthday.html", "tags": ["Faith","Travel","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Fun","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Aging","Choices","Change","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/06/10/van-life.html", "title": "Van Life", "content_html": "

\"Conversion “One of our Girl Campers brought her conversion van to camp in. We were sold!”

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My dear friend Gail has a conversion van that is tricked out like a camper. It’s currently in the camper hospital so she camped in a tent this time. But one of the other gals brought her conversion van and was kind enough to give me a peek inside.

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I can see now why van girls love these so much! There is a lot you can pack into a small space. Christy has hers in soft pastels and cream, making the space seem much larger. She uses her Yeti cooler as extra seating. She has a whole kitchen crammed in this little cabinet. 

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This really got my creative juices flowing and I was thinking of all the things I can do to the minivan when I get ready to convert it. The only downside I could see is no air conditioner. She does have a 12v fan she can use, but I’m thinking I would be limited to spring and fall excursions.

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Christy spend five weeks at Quartzite, Arizona in the winter and never felt claustrophobic in this setup. She is thinking she would like to take it on the road full-time. I belong to a few Facebook groups that focus on the van life. It’s intriguing…but a little too confining for two.

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Anyway, someone asked to see the van…so here she is! Enjoy!

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❤️

\n
“It’s better to live in a hut in the wilderness than with a crabby, scolding spouse!”    Proverbs 21:19 TPT
\n", "date_published": "2019-06-10T01:30:34-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/06/10/van-life.html", "tags": ["Travel","Uplifting Stories","Strong Women","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","Fun","West Virginia","Growth","New Ideas","Gratitude","Comfort","goRVing","Peace","Wisdom","Presence","Girl Camper","Girl Campers","Choices","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/06/05/finding-my-father.html", "title": "Finding my Father", "content_html": "

\"Father “I don’t remember having a loving relationship with my dad…ever.”

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Father’s Day is coming soon. I don’t remember ever seeing a photo of my dad holding me. I don’t remember him offering his hand to help me walk. I don’t recall any kissed booboos or falling asleep in his lap. I do remember him bouncing my brother and me on his knees to the tune of Bonanza when it aired on Sunday nights. I remember watching fireworks from the car three blocks away from the park. I remember going fishing with him…once. I wouldn’t touch the worm. He was done.

\n

My relationship with my dad was complicated. Like every little girl, I sought his approval. It never came. I sought his love. He didn’t know how to give it. He never saw me sing on stage. He never watched me perform on the balance beam. As my brother and I aged, Dad became more and more lost in a bottle of Four Roses.

\n

By the time I was an antagonistic teenager, our relationship had devolved into angry shouting matches and stony silence. He became “the man who lived upstairs”. I married and left home with the first boy who would have me and I didn’t look back. By the time I was twenty-one, to my mother’s great relief, they were divorced.

\n

Dad went back to his roots and moved into a trailer on his sister’s farm. As a widow, she was extremely careful of her reputation and when dad had to be driven home from the bar one night, she stormed into his trailer the next morning and struck him on the bottom of the feet with an iron skillet. She informed him there would never be another incident like that or he would find himself out on his ear. He ended up going on the wagon and found Jesus and married a childhood friend.

\n

I never really knew that man…the one all my cousins knew. The one all the town knew. The one who went to church every Sunday and became the model citizen…to everyone outside. But inside? Our relationship stayed exactly the same. His modus operandi was “blame and shame”. I tried. Lord knows I tried to have a relationship with him. But, in order to do that, I needed to talk about what had happened and he wasn’t interested.

\n

If he would have just once said “I’m sorry, Sis.” Oh, I learned to forgive him because he did what he knew, but that apology would have gone a long way toward mending my broken heart. Instead, I married father replacements. First, the stern disciplinarian. Then the busy doctor who couldn’t express his true feelings. Then Mr. Virgo came along and healed that spot in my heart that needed to know I was loved and cherished and….wanted.

\n

Still, I remember my therapist telling me one time, “You know, Ginny…you’re never going to find your father’s love.” I was bereft. It was as if the final page was read and the book snapped shut. The End!

\n

What do I do now?

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I went on. I put a bandaid over the spot where I wanted dad-memories in my heart and went on. After all, I was an adult. I was functioning as best I could with what I had to work with. It was ok, I said to myself. I don’t need a father. I don’t need anybody. Mr. Virgo was the only man I really let in and even he didn’t get to see every room.

\n

Then…my dad died.

\n

Then…Mr. Virgo died.

\n

I was never, ever going to feel that unconditional love again.

\n

I was wrong. I found love again…deep, true, lasting love with Mr. FixIt. And, I was a Christian. I had God. He was my Heavenly Father…but, I still wanted a DAD!

\n

This has been on my heart a lot in the last few weeks.  And, just like clockwork, here came the Holy Spirit to minister to that sore place within me. Recently, every sermon has been some variation of this theme.

\n

“Your dad wasn’t there for you. It’s ok. You don’t need him. He was here to do what only he could do and it hurt. But here….I’ve got some really great news for you.

\n

“God IS your dad! He loves you…absolutely…unconditionally. He CRAVES when you come sit with him and lay your head on his shoulder. He WANTS you to take his hand and walk with him. He LOVES it when you talk to him and tell him how your day went and share worries of your mind. He DESIRES you to trust him like the dad that he is. He NEEDS you to know he isn’t ever going to leave you….not ever!”

\n

Wow! How awesome is that? Knowing this…I mean really deep down in my bones KNOWING this…has healed some place deep inside my heart. I don’t have to look for my dad anywhere but up. When I want to hear him talking to me, I read the words he left for me to follow. When I don’t please him, he lets me know. The most important thing he wants me to know is I am the joy of his heart. The object of his greatest longing.

\n

Finally….finally I found my father….in my Father.

\n

❤️

\n
“The same way a loving father feels toward his children— that’s but a sample of your tender feelings toward us, your beloved children, who live in awe of you.”    Psalms 103:13 TPT
\n", "date_published": "2019-06-05T01:30:35-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/06/05/finding-my-father.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Courage","Aging","Choices","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/06/04/field-of-dreams.html", "title": "Field of Dreams", "content_html": "

\"Field “My Field of Dreams.”

\n

I know, I know…how many pictures of a field am I going to post here, right? Oh…however many times I am moved by the view, I suppose…which is daily. Every day, every hour, the view changes with the light. This was taken Sunday afternoon after the heavy rain and hail that swept through the surrounding area. I love the way the sky is slightly pink as the sun begins to set over the hill far to the left there. The air is soft with humidity and brushes the edges of the woods with a velvety glow.

\n

I have a lifelong sister/friend who asked me yesterday if there wasn’t family who could come and mow this for us. After all…I’m 65. I smiled at her love and concern for me. Then I told her what I tell everyone who asks why I still mow. First, 65…nay, 66 in nine days…is young, if you ask me. Second, this is my home, too. Of course I’m going to work on it. Also, seriously…all I do is sit on a riding mower and drive around and around with headphones on listening to rock and roll music. How hard is that?

\n

My biggest reason is this…I spent my entire life praying to have exactly what I have now. I have so much joy in my heart, a few hours driving around cutting grass is the smallest of prices to pay. I truly love it! That being said, my shoulders are tired and sore when I’m done. I wish for a hot shower and a masseuse…only one of which is readily available. But it’s a good sore…a good tired. And I sleep really soundly when I’ve worked hard.

\n

I mowed the big fields yesterday while Mr. FixIt was in town working. We have a lot to get done before we head out camping on Thursday. According to the weather report, we are in for a cool, cloudy weekend with the possibility of rain showers. That’s ok…we’ll have plenty to keep us busy under the canopies. I bought walls for the canopy that will hold heat in. Gail has her canopy, as well. Camping is fun, no matter what!

\n

❤️

\n
“Let the heavens rejoice, let the earth be glad; let the sea resound, and all that is in it. Let the fields be jubilant, and everything in them; let all the trees of the forest sing for joy.”    Psalm 96:11-12 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2019-06-04T01:30:23-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/06/04/field-of-dreams.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Uplifting Stories","Positive Energy","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/06/02/resting.html", "title": "Resting", "content_html": "

\"Feet “Taking a breather after a long day.”

\n

Mr. FixIt and I have been like two ships passing in the night the last two weeks. He is still working on the porch he is building in town plus he is helping a friend move. In between, he has helped with the mowing and weed eating. He is a busy man and a very hard worker. I am very proud of him and love his work ethic. But…I’ll be really glad when the jobs that are taking him away from home are completed and we can do more things together…even if it’s more jobs that need doing around here.

\n

While my hubby has been off and running, I have been keeping busy here as well. I finished mowing at the Ponderosa yesterday. I had a run-in with some brambles and they dragged across my forehead, yanked my glasses off, and made me say some choice words. I went out when it cooled off, swept the grass off the sidewalks, and pruned some branches and old, dead rambling rose canes. Nasty buggers!

\n

I did escape yesterday morning and had coffee with my classmates. There were seven of us this time and we always miss the ones who don’t get to attend. When we were finished, I walked across the street to one of my favorite antique shops in the area. I’ve been on the prowl for old embroidered dresser scarves and the like to make something fun for the camper. I found several that were white with either blue embroidery or blue crocheted edging. Blue and white are my favorites. I also bought the coolest curved treadle sewing machine drawer that will be perfect on the dinette table to hold flowers or something.

\n

Afterwards I met Mr. FixIt for the summer picnic for the plant he worked at before he retired. He worked at Ames. My mom called it “the shovel plant” because she worked there during the war making shovels for soldiers. After the war, their specialty was all manner of garden tools. Mr. FixIt gave me one of the shovels he designed and made and there isn’t a finer one around. I actually knew two people at the picnic…a rare occurrence for me. Mr. FixIt knows EVERYBODY in town!

\n

When I was done for the day, I went in to make myself a sandwich. I glanced out the kitchen window. The luna moth is still there. And, there was a mama groundhog and three little babies out munching on the grass under the crab apple tree. I stood there for the longest time, just watching them. And thinking how blessed I am to have this slice of heaven in my life. I finally turned away, picked up my sandwich, and padded out to the camper to read for a while before Mr. FixIt came home. 

\n

What a beautiful world God has given us. Even in the midst of horrific things, there is beauty in the stillness.

\n

❤️

\n
“The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of our God endures forever.””    Isaiah 40:8 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2019-06-02T01:30:05-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/06/02/resting.html", "tags": ["Family","Positive Energy","West Virginia","Gratitude","Comfort","Peace","Humbled","Presence","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/05/26/smoke.html", "title": "Smoke", "content_html": "

\"Smoke\" “Life has a certain synchronicity. It swirls round and round like wisps of smoke.”

\n

Mail delivery is different when you live on a rural route. When you drive out any two lane blacktop, there are dirt roads that go off up into hollers. There may be a dozen or more houses up there, but it wouldn’t be feasible to send a mail carrier up every little dirt track. So, you often see a whole row of mailboxes on the corner and everyone has to pick up their own mail. Our mailbox is across the two lane from the Ponderosa so we either walk up or stop on our way out when we go somewhere.

\n

When I first moved in with Mr. FixIt, I seldom got any mail here. I have a post office box that I use for my business so it was just easier for me to get all my mail there. Because the majority of the mail was his, I never really saw it unless I picked it up. Mr. FixIt was throwing away junk mail one day and casually remarked, for some reason he had received coupons for cigarettes. He couldn’t figure out how in the world he ever got on their mailing list.

\n

We went into town yesterday to decorate graves on Mr. FixIt’s side of the family. We stopped to get the mail and there was another cigarette advertisement. He handed me the mail and said, “See? We got it again!” I sat there, holding the mail in my hands. For a moment, my heart skipped a beat and I could barely breathe.

\n

“Is this the brand you got before?” I asked.

\n

“Yes. It’s always the same.”

\n

I ran my fingers over the familiar green box and smiled. Kools.

\n

“You know…this is Mr. Virgo’s brand.”

\n

“Whoa. That’s weird.”

\n

“No…not weird. It’s just a message. A sort of hello from beyond.”

\n

I don’t know how things work on the other side exactly. I know there is heaven. And I know the Bible says there is a veil between the worlds and those in heaven cannot see or connect with their loved ones on earth. I also know God loves us and wants to comfort our hearts when we lose loved ones so He sends us things that strike a chord with us. In my case…bluebirds. A particular song that’s out of place. Flickering lights. And, an ad. Of all the cigarette brands that are out there, the one that came was Mr. Virgo’s. It’s not even what I would consider a top brand. Why that one? On Memorial Day weekend?

\n

I reached over and took my husband’s hand. I smiled and looked out the window at the passing scenery. I marveled at this lovely life and all its synchronicity…curling round and round like wisps of smoke.

\n

“Hello, Mr. Virgo” I said softly. “Thanks for coming to see us.”

\n

❤️

\n
“Now they know that everything that you have given me is from you.”\n

John 17:7 ESV

\n", "date_published": "2019-05-26T01:30:10-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/05/26/smoke.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Hope","Positive Energy","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Change","Widow","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/05/17/farm-life-is-a-good.html", "title": "Farm Life is a Good Life", "content_html": "

\"Flora “Clockwise from top left: Grandma’s peonies, a row of tiger swallowtails, the peonies out by the road, bearded iris alongside the house, the view from the road, tiger swallowtail up close”

\n

As I was washing the breakfast dishes yesterday, something outside the kitchen window caught my eye. I stood quietly and studied the branches in the cedar and maple trees that frame my view of the yard. Suddenly, I saw it again. A fledgling house wren just took it’s first tentative flight from the nest. It snuggled in amongst the leaves, trying not to draw attention to itself. Mama came flying down and sat beside her brave baby. Soon, she swooped down to the grass and picked up a bug and brought it back to the little one. And so begins the feeding and teaching till this little fellow can survive on his own.

\n

I smiled as I dried my hands and set to my morning chores. Mr. FixIt would be home soon and I needed to get things together to go out to the farm. I packed a couple of bags and gathered the laundry to do while we were out there. I took my morning coffee out on the deck by the pool. Then I wandered over to the garden. I sprinkled the plants with rabbit repellent. I caught sight of a chipmunk darting around the corner of the big building out back and wondered if the repellent works for them, too. 

\n

When Mr. FixIt got home, I helped him get the riding mower and the push mower on the utility trailer. Why we didn’t think of doing this two years ago, I’ll never know!

\n

When we got to the farm, we unloaded the mowers and I hopped on the riding mower. If you remember correctly, when I was mowing the farm by myself it took me a good five hours. I had to mow thirty minutes then cool off and rehydrate…over and over till I was done. I literally finished mowing in less than fifteen minutes with the riding mower! Mr. FixIt took the push mower and mowed the ditches out front and the perimeter of the yard. The edges of the lawn are too soft to use the riding mower. It could collapse the creek bank and take me with it.

\n

When we were finished, I cooked a good supper of pork chops, lima beans, and Amish potato salad. We sat down to watch the news and there it was…bad storms coming. We were prepared to stay a night or two, but until we fix that drain at the bottom of the steps, we have to be at the Ponderosa if there is a threat of heavy rain or else we’ll have a flooded basement.

\n

I washed the dishes and was getting things ready to head back home when Mr. FixIt called to me to bring my phone outside. There, on the driveway, were six or seven tiger swallowtail butterflies, intently feeding on something. I have no idea what. When I startled them at one point, they rose up and circled around and around us for several minutes in a dazzling butterfly dance. Then, just as quickly, they settled back down in the same spot. It was magical and went on for forty-five minutes or so. 

\n

We finally had to say goodbye to the butterflies and head back to the Ponderosa. Sometimes farm life is a hard life. But, it’s really a good life.

\n

❤️

\n
“May God give you heaven’s dew and earth’s richness— an abundance of grain and new wine.”    Genesis 27:28 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2019-05-17T01:30:58-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/05/17/farm-life-is-a-good.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","Fun","West Virginia","The Farm","Gratitude","Comfort","Love","Peace","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/05/16/wednesday-evening-walkabout.html", "title": "Wednesday Evening Walkabout", "content_html": "

\"Flora\" “Clockwise from Top Left: Abundant Blueberries, Honey Locust, Wild Grape Vine, Beautiful Peonies”

\n

I finished mowing at the Ponderosa while Mr. FixIt was in town working on a porch he’s building. There were several areas around the edges of the fields where brush, vines and trees had encroached into my mowing space. They are the worst when they hang over and I have to try to mow under them. I bend way far forward over the riding mower, but sometimes a briar will jump out and grab me. So, last night after supper, I did my walkabout and took the loppers with me. I pruned back a lot of branches and threw them into the woods for the critters to munch on and hide in.

\n

I finished the back property line before I gave up for the evening. I love how the fields look when they’re freshly mowed. They smell so good and they are all smooth and even. I snapped a few pictures as I moseyed around looking at the many varieties of trees in the woods beyond the far fields. I love this time of year. The dense foliage makes the shadowy underbrush dark and a cool breeze comes out smelling of musty earth and moldy leaves. It’s a rich aroma of sweet decay combined with cut grass, honey locust, and creek water. It’s heavenly, earthy, decadent. It makes me happy.

\n

Once my tools were put away, I climbed in the little camper, snuggled back into my favorite corner and looked out at the sun setting over the far hill. The reflections of the puffy white clouds and bluebird sky on the windshield of my truck added movement and color to the scene. These are my tranquil moments. It’s MY time. Mr. FixIt is in his recliner inside, watching the news. We both worked hard today. It makes the evenings such a gift.

\n

We are blessed beyond belief. We have a roof over our heads, food in our bellies, and love in our hearts. We have a wonderful family. We have our health. We have each other. As I was walking around the field last night, a bluebird dashed in front of me and I smiled.

\n

“Well…hello there, Mr. Virgo. I’m doing just fine!”

\n

❤️

\n
“Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”    \n

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2019-05-16T01:30:23-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/05/16/wednesday-evening-walkabout.html", "tags": ["Health","Family","Uplifting Stories","Positive Energy","Fun","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","Peace","Humbled","Presence","Choices","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/05/15/a-quiet-place.html", "title": "A Quiet Place", "content_html": "

\"A “Living in a quiet place fills me with peace and gratitude.”

\n

Mr. FixIt had to go help his friend move some things in town yesterday so I hung out at home and “pretend camped”. I piddled around in the camper most of the day. I cleaned up and put things away. I swept and washed the floors and emptied the trash. I wiped things down and stripped the bed. While I was taking off the comforter, I noticed it was damp up by the front wall towards the driver’s side. A leak! 

\n

It didn’t leak when I was parked at the campground and we had some pretty heavy rain. This leak came when I was driving through torrential rain on Monday so it has to be either around the window or something at the edge. I happily discovered the bed raises up with pneumatic lifters so I could get under there and have a good look. There were no wet places on the flooring under the bed or in any of the compartments. So I’ll have to look some more.

\n

While I was in under the bed, I got a good look at the water system. Mr. FixIt helped me and we could not figure out why the pump won’t build up pressure and shut off. Again…more investigation is needed. In the meantime, if I can flush the commode and wash my hands and the dishes, I’m not too concerned about the rest of it. Just about every place I plan to camp will have electric and if it’s cold, I have either the electric blanket or the little space heater to keep me warm. 

\n

When Mr. FixIt got home, he staked up the tomatoes. Something happened to one of the plants. It’s just gone. The rest look good though. And the beans are coming up much better than last year. I still have a bunch of food in the refrigerator in the camper so I fixed us some supper and we sat at the dinette and ate. That made me smile.

\n

After supper, we went for a quick walk down the road. There’s been some activity on the property next door so we moseyed over to see what’s going on. They are clearing the lot so maybe we’re getting neighbors. We don’t have neighbors within sight of the house so this is something very new for Mr. FixIt. He’s lived here over 40 years.

\n

When we were walking back down the road, holding hands, I looked out over our field and smiled. All of my life I’ve wanted to live on five acres. And here we are! I looked around and thought of all the things I would have liked to have on these five acres over the years. A barn with maybe some animals…a cow for milk and butter, some chickens, maybe a couple of goats or sheep. A big garden. Some fruit trees. I sure would have done more with this than five acres of lawn to mow. And now? 

\n

I never say it’s too late to do something. But my priorities have changed. We like to travel and we’re going to be too old before too long to maintain that level of farming. No…we’re looking at simplifying now. But it’s nice to dream about what we might have done, had we been together when we were younger.

\n

This is our little slice of heaven, and so is the farm. When we got back from our walk, I jumped on the riding mower and mowed till it was almost too dark to see. I watched Mr. FixIt with the push mower in the fenced yard. I watched how the mower took the curves of the field and turned them into the swirly rows of a contemporary quilt. I watch the old yellow cat sitting at the edge of the field, eyeing me to see if I was going to sacrifice another turtle for him. Thankfully, I did not. I noticed the petals of the poplar blooms fallen as I mowed over them. I watched the robins swoop in to get the bugs the mower stirred up. I took a deep breath of new mown grass. And…I smiled. 

\n

❤️

\n
“He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me.”    Psalm 18:19 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2019-05-15T01:30:15-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/05/15/a-quiet-place.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Positive Energy","Fun","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","Peace","Humbled","Peaceful Moments","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/05/13/camp-hairdont-care.html", "title": "Camp Hair...Don’t Care!", "content_html": "

\"Images “Images from camp…The Three Amigas (Gail, Janine, & Ginny), fishing, TOW-Wanda III, and ramp casserole in an iron skillet.”

\n

OMGosh! Other than not having subzero temperatures, this week has been quite reminiscent of my first winter in TOW-Wanda Grande. I was parked up on the banks of the Ohio River with no running water. This state park has a few electric sites and I was lucky enough to get one. But, there’s no water at the sites. I had to rely on the freshwater tank for flushing the toilet and bottled water for drinking. Since I don’t have the propane system or the water heater checked out yet, I had to heat up water in the microwave or running it through the coffee pot for washing dishes or taking sponge baths. I am really looking forward to a proper shower when I get home today. I definitely have camp hair. And I definitely don’t care!

\n

Everyone left yesterday and headed home. All except for me, that is. I already had last night reserved thinking at least someone would stay over. That’s ok, though. I used the day to do some writing I have a deadline for. Then I did a little knitting and watched old Andy Griffith reruns. All the kids either texted or called me for Mother’s Day which was so nice. Gail came back to the campground after dinner and brought me some homemade cream of broccoli soup. It was a really good day.

\n

Gail and I are cohosting a Girl Camper event next month at Blackwater Falls so now I can turn my attention to that. I ordered a floral canopy with matching chairs to set up at that outing to give people a place to sit when they come to visit. When you have a campout with a group of Girl Campers, everyone wants to see inside each other’s trailers so we usually have a little snack out or a cocktail to share with guests. 

\n

The gal who camped right across from me this time had her little camper all decked out on the inside like a vintage one, but it was brand new. She used her grandmother’s quilt to cover the seat cushions and had her mother’s 25th anniversary silver tea set on display. She made banners for each window from embroidered linens. It was absolutely darling. When her husband peeked in to see what she had done to the inside he said, “Really? Really??? You had to do all PINK?” She created a grey interior for him and switches it out. That seems like a lot of work to me, but as long as the hubs is happy.

\n

So, today I pack it up and head home. I can’t wait to see my Mr. FixIt and give him a squeeze. He sent me a picture of the garden and the beans are all up. He’s been spreading the rabbit repellent and so far, so good! They haven’t eaten any of the young plants.

\n

Hope you have a Happy Monday! 

\n

❤️

\n
““All who are skilled among you are to come and make everything the Lord has commanded:”    Exodus 35:10 NIV
\n \n", "date_published": "2019-05-13T01:30:38-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/05/13/camp-hairdont-care.html", "tags": ["Travel","Uplifting Stories","Strong Women","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","Fun","Gratitude","Comfort","goRVing","Love","Peaceful Moments","Girl Camper","Girl Campers","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/05/09/camping-with-the-girls.html", "title": "Camping With the Girls", "content_html": "

\"Sunset “The sun sets on another fun day camping with the Girl Campers.”

\n

There is something special about camping with a bunch of gals. In ancient times, women gathered at the well when they went to fetch water. Farm women gathered at the Grange or at barn raisings, or when babies were born. Quilting Bees and Afternoon Teas. Women have always wanted/needed the company of other women.

\n

When I was much younger, I got along with men better than women. I found women to be gossipy or competitive…neither of which were appealing. However, since Mr. Virgo died, I have learned to appreciate my fellow females. Especially when we are sitting around a campfire or under a pavilion on a rainy afternoon. 

\n

My favorite campouts always include an afternoon siesta. Lots of talk time and knitting. Catching up with people to find out what’s been going on in their lives. When you come to a camping event that occurs once to twice a year, that may be the only time to get to see these women and they become good friends. Lifelong friends.

\n

I came back over to the camper after supper last night and caught the sun just before it dipped below the horizon. I thought it was lovely how the light changed to a golden green glow. These are the moments that make me remember why I bought my first camper. I want to do this as long as I am able. 

\n

Oh, yes…I love camping with Mr. FixIt. But, there’s just something special about camping with a bunch of gals.

\n

❤️

\n
“O God, to the farthest corners of the planet people will stand in awe, startled and stunned by your signs and wonders. Sunrise brilliance and sunset beauty both take turns singing their songs of joy to you.”\n

Psalms 65:8 TPT

\n", "date_published": "2019-05-09T01:30:29-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/05/09/camping-with-the-girls.html", "tags": ["Travel","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","Fun","Gratitude","Comfort","goRVing","Wisdom","Peaceful Moments","Girl Camper","Girl Campers","Choices","Be Joyful!","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/04/27/goodbyefor-now.html", "title": "Goodbye...For Now", "content_html": "

\"Best “Best Friends”

\n

Goodbyes are so hard…especially since losing Mr. Virgo. My world perspective has forever changed and grief has colored every thought since that fateful day. I am so aware of how tenuous life is and how strong the bonds between us and those we hold most dear.

\n

Today we have to say so long to our dearest family/friends as they head back home to Colorado and we head back home to the Ponderosa. We have had such a delightful week. The weather seriously couldn’t have been more perfect. Our first morning here dawned sunny and gorgeous and remained the same the entire week until a band of severe thunder storms came through last evening. It rained hard into the night and brought cooler temperatures but today is supposed to be sunny with a high around 70 so it will be perfect traveling weather.

\n

While grief and death are not in the forefront of my thoughts anymore, there are certain things that have changed because of my loss. Now, when I see a scene, I see it through the eyes of a widow and know the scenes I wish I had pictures of. As we watched the sunset in a quiet cove along the sound in the Cape Hatteras National Seashore the other night, I looked back. I noticed Ben & Sue turn to take in the last of the golden light as the sun dipped below the horizon over the glassy surface of the water. I smiled as Sue reached for Ben’s hand and I reached for my cell phone to snap this picture. I added the location and date and sent it to her. 

\n

We do not know when our time will come, but we do know statistically that women outlive their husbands. When Mr. Virgo died, I really had fewer photos of him than I thought. I wanted to make sure Ben & Sue had all the special events of the week recorded for posterity. 

\n

As we drove down to the beach last weekend, I kept thinking…”It’ll be over in an instant and we’ll be driving back home.” And, here we are. But…oh, my. We made some beautiful memories together this week and I will cherish this time together for the rest of my life. 

\n

❤️

\n
“How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity!”    Psalm 133:1 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2019-04-27T01:30:17-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/04/27/goodbyefor-now.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Travel","Grief","Positive Energy","Fun","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Aging","Peaceful Moments","Choices","Be Joyful!","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/04/26/ohohobx.html", "title": "Oh...Oh...OBX!", "content_html": "

\"The “Is there anything better than spending time with loved ones?”

\n

This has been the BEST week! The weather has been amazing. The company SO much fun. And the food has been divine. The only thing that could have made it better would be if ALL the family could be here.

\n

We started out with a hearty breakfast. I had a box of matzoh leftover from the Seder demonstration at church group the other night and brought it along. My very favorite Passover breakfast is Matzoh Brei. You take the sheets of matzoh and crumble them up. Pour enough hot water over them to cover them and let them sit for a while. Then you squeeze the water out of them and place the wet matzoh in another bowl. Beat three or four eggs with some cinnamon, a dash of salt, and a little vanilla extract together then pour it over the wet matzoh and stir till you get a thick batter. Drop 3/4 of a cup of the thick batter on a hot oiled griddle and cook till browned and set in the middle. Serve with butter and syrup like pancakes. Yummm!

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We all gathered our things and headed to the beach. Sue and I walked for a while and the guys fished. Mr. FixIt let me cast for him once. We got out the umbrellas and sat for a long time watching a school of dolphins playing in the surf not too far from the shore. Just when we thought it couldn’t get any cooler, we saw the blowing mist from a small humpback whale that  breached and showed his beautiful tail fin as he dove back into the sea. OMGosh! That was SO exciting. The guys never got a nibble while we were there so Sue and I decided to head to the indoor pool and exercise. We did some stretches and water aerobics moves till we were tuckered out and headed for the condo.

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After our showers, the boys come in with stories and pictures of all the fish they caught AFTER we left! Skates, shark, drum, croaker…they were busy but as always, practiced catch and release. It is the sport that is fun…not the killing.

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Once we were all cleaned up, Mr. FixIt hunted up a restaurant that served scallops as that is Ben’s all-time favorite. We discovered Henry’s in Kill Devil Hills and it did not disappoint! I had the best coconut shrimp. Sue had a blackened tuna steak and the boys both had scallops. The hush puppies were really good. We were all too stuffed to order a rich dessert. We stopped at the Ben Franklin store for souvenirs for the grandchildren and Walmart for milk and we were done for the day!

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As Sue and I were splashing around in the pool in the afternoon, I shared a concern that’s been bugging me just a little. My younger daughter is getting married in August and I am heavier than I wanted to be. I still have some time to lose weight, but that’s not the point. I’m self-conscious because my ex-husband will see me as fat. It’s ridiculous that I should even let that thought in, but there it sits. Sue has known me through thick and thin since my older daughter started dating her older son. We talked about it as we bounced around in the water with our ample sixty-something tummies and laughed at how silly we can still be, even when we KNOW it doesn’t mean diddly squat what others (ESPECIALLY ex-husbands) think! We talked about dressing strategies and letting go of the rest.

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This has been an excellent week for me…just what I needed. A week of fun and sun, sand and surf, and lots of love. My best champions are with me this week and I feel surrounded by their love and care. As Ben & Sue head off to the airport tomorrow, Mr. FixIt and I will drive home to the Ponderosa for a few days of mowing before we pack up the new camper and head out on her maiden voyage to Indiana!

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My heart is so full! 

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❤️

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“Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.”\n

Colossians 3:15 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2019-04-26T01:30:47-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/04/26/ohohobx.html", "tags": ["Family","Travel","Uplifting Stories","Fun","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","Peace","Peaceful Moments","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/04/19/good-friday.html", "title": "Good Friday", "content_html": "

\"Flowering “My grandma’s pretty posies…I love to visit them.”

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I ran to the farm yesterday to pick up my laundry I left hanging to dry. I took a quick walkabout to see Grandma’s posies. She loved them so much and I always feel so close to her when I see them. 

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Grandma loved Easter time. Her flowers were beautiful and she almost always had all of her family together to go to church. I feel terrible that I won’t be attending church with the kids this weekend, but there is a church right across the road from the condo so we will still get to go to an Easter service.

\n

The bags are packed. Going to the time share is much like camping…we take extra linens and pots and pans because the one’s there are somewhat lacking in substance. We also bring some dry goods with us because groceries down there are so expensive. So, the truck will be packed first thing in the morning and we’ll hit the road no later than 9:00.

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Small group last night was wonderful. I talked to the girls about Passover and the rituals around the Seder meal. I brought some traditional foods for them to taste. They weren’t crazy about the gefilte fish!

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Kathy spoke about Easter. She told how Jesus washed the feet of the Disciples. Then, she prepared a basin and pitcher of warm water and washed all of our feet. It was a humbling experience. When she was done, I stepped forward and invited her to sit so that I could wash hers. I followed her example and told her the beautiful attributes Jesus sees when He looks at her. I thanked her for being such a shining example of a humble servant for all of us to see. And I told her how much I dearly love her.

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What a wonderful way to start out our week!

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❤️

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“It was just before the Passover Festival. Jesus knew that the hour had come for him to leave this world and go to the Father. Having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end. The evening meal was in progress, and the devil had already prompted Judas, the son of Simon Iscariot, to betray Jesus. Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God; so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him. He came to Simon Peter, who said to him, “Lord, are you going to wash my feet?” Jesus replied, “You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.” “No,” said Peter, “you shall never wash my feet.” Jesus answered, “Unless I wash you, you have no part with me.” “Then, Lord,” Simon Peter replied, “not just my feet but my hands and my head as well!” Jesus answered, “Those who have had a bath need only to wash their feet; their whole body is clean. And you are clean, though not every one of you.” For he knew who was going to betray him, and that was why he said not every one was clean. When he had finished washing their feet, he put on his clothes and returned to his place. “Do you understand what I have done for you?” he asked them. “You call me ‘Teacher’ and ‘Lord,’ and rightly so, for that is what I am. Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. Very truly I tell you, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.”   John 13:1-17 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2019-04-19T01:30:21-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/04/19/good-friday.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Prayer","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Humbled","Peaceful Moments","Choices","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/04/17/a-good-tired.html", "title": "A Good Tired", "content_html": "

\"Spring “Spring flowers make my heart sing!”

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Now that the taxes are done, submitted, and accepted, our attention can turn to other things….mainly, mowing. With the rains we received over the weekend, the grass growth was remarkable and it couldn’t be put off another day. We had a neighbor brush hog the far field last fall when we were preparing for the wedding. That field is really rough and needs to be mowed really regularly or we’ll have to resort to the brush hog again. I got about half the field mowed at the Ponderosa then we had to head for the farm. Mr. FixIt mowed while I hauled dropped limbs and did laundry. It was 7:30 by the time we were done and ready to head back home. 

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This is the kind of tired that feels good. When you do a good solid day’s work and you have something to show for it. When your muscles are sore and you’re hungry and you know you’re going to sleep soundly…that’s a good day’s work. We still have much to do to prepare for our trip but once we are there…it’s beach time, baby. I can’t wait to see Ben & Sue…my son-in-law’s parents. They are joining us for the week and it’s going to be SO much fun. They are the dearest people and we can’t wait to show them all around the Outer Banks!

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I do have a favor of you. I have an appointment with the orthopedist today for this pain I have in my foot. I think it’s a Morton’s Neuroma and if so, I will likely need a shot in the ball of my foot, which…as you can well imagine…I am not looking forward to. I am preparing myself with lots of prayers and meditation. Please add me to your prayer list that everything goes smoothly, the pain is little to nonexistent, and that whatever they do, it takes care of the pain and I can get back to exercising regularly! Thank you in advance!!!

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I’ll let you know how it went!

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❤️

\n
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.””\n

Jeremiah 29:11-14 NIV

\n 

\n", "date_published": "2019-04-17T01:30:15-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/04/17/a-good-tired.html", "tags": ["Health","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Hope","Positive Energy","The Farm","Growth","Comfort","Courage","Aging","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/04/16/evidence-of-healing.html", "title": "Evidence of Healing", "content_html": "

\"Lighthouse\" “A memory from a time long ago and far away…”

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I know April is a hectic time of year what with my daughter’s birthday and taxes being due. I was also quite busy this spring writing and editing my book. And, our annual trip to the Outer Banks is this weekend so my mind was preoccupied. As I sat down at the computer yesterday to write my post, I was confronted with one of those Facebook memories complete with scads of photos….of Mr. Virgo’s and my Honeymoon. 

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I couldn’t believe it. It was on the 7th and it never once crossed my mind. I remember one year I almost forgot. It was probably four years after his death and I felt so terribly guilty because I nearly went the whole day without thinking about it. This time, it was a whole week PAST the anniversary and I may not have remembered at all if I hadn’t seen the photos. But, I didn’t feel guilty. I actually felt somewhat relieved.

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There was a point in my grief when I thought I never would feel even somewhat normal again. I didn’t believe I would ever feel joy or freedom and certainly not romantic love again. Yet, here I am. On the other side. I’ve no doubt I still have my moments. NOT remembering seems monumental in some way.

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Not focusing on or remembering an important anniversary doesn’t mean I have forgotten Mr. Virgo…or anything about him. It just means time has passed and I am healing. I’ve moved….forward. I wish I could have had some serious reassurance four or five years ago that so much healing could occur in what is a relatively short time in grief years.

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This time fourteen years ago, we were driving up the west coast on Highway 1. I wanted to stand on the beach with my husband. Fourteen years later, I’m packing to leave for a trip to the east coast so that I can stand on the beach with my husband. 

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Ironic.

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The whole thing makes me smile. It makes my heart soften. It makes me ever so grateful to have known…and to now know…such great love.

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❤️

\n
“Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth— for your love is more delightful than wine.”    Song of Songs 1:2 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2019-04-16T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/04/16/evidence-of-healing.html", "tags": ["Family","Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","Wisdom","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!","Marriage","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/04/08/a-room-with-a-view.html", "title": "A Room With a View", "content_html": "

\"Camper “This was the biggest selling point on this camper.”

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I could hardly wait to get home yesterday afternoon. We had a beautiful day….the baby dedication at church was lovely and we had a family breakfast afterwards. Then we ran errands. It rained while we were in church and again while we were eating breakfast. Then it was dark and cloudy all afternoon. We got home about 4:00 and I made a bee line for TOW-Wanda III and a much anticipated Sunday afternoon nap. I was no sooner tucked in till the sky opened and the sound of rain on the camper roof lulled me quickly into a deep sleep.

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When I woke up…this is what I saw and I smiled from ear to ear. This window. I love all the light in this camper and this window takes the cake. I can prop myself up in the corner with my lap desk and iPad and be a totally happy camper! 

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I remember all the times in Little TOW-Wanda when I sat like this, propped up with a mug of good coffee and a stack of magazines…staring out a window like this and letting God’s nature heal my broken heart. Oh, how I’ve missed this. To turn over and see the sky. To gaze at stars as I drift off to sleep. I’m itching to get off on adventures but there’s stuff to be done first.

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Today we are heading to my friend’s house to pick up the camper she’s giving me. I have no idea what shape it’s in so we’ll see. Then there’s taxes. The bathroom is coming along…Mr. FixIt has plumbing to do before we can move the rest of the shower stall in. I need to clean out TOW-Wanda Grande and get her on the market. I need to clean out the truck because we leave the 19th to head to the beach. The first mowing at the Ponderosa occurred this weekend. That means the yard at the farm is going to need mowed this week, for sure. 

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And off we go. This is the time of year when we hit the ground running. That lazy nap yesterday, stretched out in my little new-to-me camper looking through my big picture window at the rain on the flowering bushes, will just have to hold me over for a while.

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❤️

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“Dear friend, guard Clear Thinking and Common Sense with your life; don’t for a minute lose sight of them. They’ll keep your soul alive and well, they’ll keep you fit and attractive. You’ll travel safely, you’ll neither tire nor trip. You’ll take afternoon naps without a worry, you’ll enjoy a good night’s sleep. No need to panic over alarms or surprises, or predictions that doomsday’s just around the corner, Because GOD will be right there with you; he’ll keep you safe and sound.”    Proverbs 3:21-26 MSG
\n", "date_published": "2019-04-08T01:30:31-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/04/08/a-room-with-a-view.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Uplifting Stories","Positive Energy","Camping","Fun","Gratitude","Comfort","Presence","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/04/06/what-a-crazy-week.html", "title": "What a CRAZY Week!", "content_html": "

\"Camper\" “The perfect little camper!”

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When I started out this week, I never dreamed I’d be the owner of SIX campers by the weekend!!! What??? Yes, that’s right…S-I-X campers! Ok, when Mr. FixIt and I started dating, he had two campers (a hybrid and a 27 foot Jayco) and I had one (a 30’ Starcraft). Then, by fall I bought our fourth camper…a 1967 Franklin I named “Joy”. She is still out at the farm and I need to get her over to the Ponderosa so I can work on her some more. 

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I picked up the little camper yesterday and I’m telling you…she’s a little cream puff. She is immaculate inside with a Sealy memory foam mattress. (Color me happy!) Mr. FixIt went with me to check her out carefully and he agreed I got a good deal on a great little camper. Hooking her up was easy peasy. We stopped at the first gas station and checked the air pressure. This is especially important every single time you tow. Remember the blowout I had coming home from Blackwater Falls a few years ago? It was caused by undetected low tire pressure. I learned a valuable and expensive lesson that day. All four tires were low. This happens when a camper sits for a while. We pumped them all up and headed for home.

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The second test would be to see how well Frieda pulled this camper. I was sure she would do well, but this is an 18’ camper. I’ve seen different weights. An online spec sheet says 3740 and the tag on the trailer says 4200. There are some steep hills on the drive home so I watched carefully. Frieda towed that trailer like a boss and the transmission temp didn’t get up over 197 degrees which is perfect. When we got home, I felt the hubs and they were barely warm to the touch so that is wonderful. 

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I pulled the camper around to the side of the house where the water connector is. The exterior surface is fairly dirty and dull. I wanted to see how it would clean up. I used my Norwex cloth and cleaning paste on a two-foot square section and it looked brand new when I was done. When it started getting dark, I went in the camper and stretched out on the yummy mattress. It’s wonderful! I opened the rock guard from the front window and it is exactly like my first camper…a Sportsmen Classic by K-Z RV. 

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I loved my first camper and I’ve got to tell you…I love this one more. If my first camper would have had a dinette with a separate bed, I never would have gotten rid of it. This one has exactly what I’ve always wanted and I’m thrilled!

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Now, a friend has a 30’ camper that she is giving me and we are going Monday to bring her home….making SIX campers. Mr. FixIt has one for sale now and TOW-Wanda Grande will be on the market as soon as I get her emptied and cleaned up. 

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“Hi, my name is Ginny…and I have a camper addiction.”

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This was absolutely, without a doubt, a prayer answered. This camper is more economical, practical, safer to tow….Thank You, God!

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Oh, an update on the bathroom. We managed to go another day without killing each other. However, we did end up having to cut a big chunk out of the drywall to get the bottom piece of the shower stall inserted. AND…there was yet ANOTHER trip to Lowes. Mr. FixIt’s measuring is impeccable. I am not kidding…that opening isn’t 1/16th of an inch bigger than the shower base. I am in the presence of engineering greatness…seriously!

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❤️

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“In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.”\n

Proverbs 16:9 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2019-04-06T01:30:47-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/04/06/what-a-crazy-week.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Prayer","Positive Energy","Camping","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Downsizing","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/04/04/renovations.html", "title": "Renovations", "content_html": "

\"Vintage “There’s something about vintage kitchens that speaks to my heart.”

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I came across this picture on Pinterest the other day. I don’t…CAN’T…spend as much time on Pinterest as I would like to. I have too many irons in the fire right now and I know what a black hole Pinterest is. It’s a candy store for creatives and I get SO lost. I pop in there every day because I get notifications. Almost always, there’s something on my landing page that I might pin if it’s an idea I’m working on, thinking maybe there WILL be a time when I can be a bit more leisurely. I look at my notifications, then I’m out of there…1-2 minutes, tops.

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The reason this particular picture grabbed my attention was a memory. Hubby #2 and I moved into our first house a couple of blocks from the medical school and this cabinet, and one just like it on the opposite wall, was in our kitchen. It formed a walkway into the breakfast nook where you sat in front of a big picture window. 

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The view out the window was unremarkable, but that kitchen was one of the coolest in any house I’ve ever lived in. It was big and roomy with tons of storage space. It had a window over the kitchen sink which is always a must have for me. To this day, I cannot remember if the countertops were red or green…but I definitely remember that vintage style. It spoke to me…even as a young woman.

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You don’t find vintage kitchens like this much anymore. We are a throw away society with a newer is better attitude. The young wives of the ‘80s wanted new and better and hopefully not avocado green or harvest gold or that hideous brown copper toned color. No offense…if that’s what you have or what you love, but it was an affront to my sensibilities then and it remains so today. There is NOTHING nostalgic about that for me.

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Speaking of renovations, we are still in the throes of redoing master bath at the Ponderosa. I have never been married to a man that could fix or build anything. Seriously, if anything got built or renovated or decorated, it was my doing. I’m the one with the power tools. Well, I was. They all were stolen when someone broke into my storage unit and broke my heart. Mr. FixIt knows how to do everything. He didn’t get his name for nuthin’.

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Here’s the thing. When I fixed up my mom’s house to put it on the market, I did the entire house myself except for installing the kitchen cabinets, connecting the gas for the new range, and updating the electrical service to the house. I tore the kitchen out to the walls and did it all…set the sink, installed a garbage disposal, new GFI outlets, plumbing, laminate flooring, under cabinet lighting, tiled the backsplash and entryway, coped the baseboards and quarter-round molding. I also refinished the hardwood floors, switched out all the ceiling light fixtures, put in a new doorbell and doors and storm doors, painted the entire inside, changed out the bathroom fixtures, tore the entire floor out and installed a subfloor, underpayment and linoleum, new baseboards and quarter round, a new toilet, took out the old medicine cabinet and installed a new mirror and lights and tiled the backsplash. 

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In other words…I know my way around a renovation project.

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The thing is…I probably didn’t know enough to be intimidated. I just did it. And if I didn’t know how to do something or what tool I needed to do it with, I just consulted the knowledgeable staff at Lowes or read one of my helpful how-to books. I wasn’t picky. If it looked good, that was my bottom line. I thought it turned out great. Anyone who saw it thought it turned out great. And…I did the whole thing in about 4 months…by myself, for the most part.

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Then I married “The Man With The Engineer’s Brain”.

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Have you ever asked a man with an engineer’s brain to do something? They will do it. Perfectly. Absolutely perfectly. They will spend an inordinate amount of time drawing up plans…perhaps even doing so on a CAD program on the computer than costs more than the budget of small countries. They will print out the plans and study them and make notes. Then they will go back in and edit said plans. Then…once they are satisfied with the design, they will start the shopping process. The frugal engineer will have his/her supplies mapped out and listed by store according to price. This you will buy here. That you will buy there. All in good time.

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Finally, the work begins. There will be measuring sessions. That will last a totally unpredictable amount of time. More notes will be taken and perhaps the CAD plans will be altered and reprinted. The flooring alone took several weeks. In a bathroom half the size of a good walk-in closet. Then there came the drywall. The patching. The sanding. The next coat of patching material. The second sanding. The third coat of patching material and the necessary sanding. Then came the painting. First the ceiling. Two coats. Then the walls. At least two coats. 

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I came in to see how it was going after the second coat of paint dried and Mr. FixIt was sanding…again.

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“What on earth are you doing???”

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“I didn’t like the way that looked. I don’t like satin paint. You can never get it to look good. I’m fixing this spot.”

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“Cool. I’m going back out to the camper write now. Love you!”

\n

Now we are at the point where we are installing the shower. He measured and calculated and remeasured and recalculated many times and finally…finally…we went to buy the fiberglass shower stall on Monday. That thing weighed a ton. We had to take it apart in order to get it in the house. Once inside, we took the protective coverings off and it was not only scratched, but it had several cracks in the fiberglass surface. So, we had to cart it back outside, put it all back together, and take it back to the store to exchange it. Once home, we had to take it apart again to get it in the house. Thank GOD it didn’t have any cracks because I just might have said a few choice words.

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I could have had this bathroom done in two…three weeks tops. But I can guarantee you, it would not look nearly as perfect as the bathroom Mr. FixIt is building. I’m more of an instant gratification kind of gal so this has been a real learning opportunity for me in patience and appreciation. It’s coming along though. It’s definitely coming along. 

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❤️

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“Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.”\n

Romans 12:12 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2019-04-04T01:30:42-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/04/04/renovations.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","New Ideas","Gratitude","Comfort","Wisdom","Humbled","Presence","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/03/27/the-ponderosa.html", "title": "The Ponderosa", "content_html": "

\"Farm\" “The Ponderosa is the land I have dreamed of all my life.”

\n

I’ve still been recuperating from this bronchitis/cold/virus/allergy thing. Kind of laying low, taking care of myself. To keep from re-infecting Mr. FixIt (he already had this last month), I’ve been spending a lot of time out in TOW-Wanda…resting, reading, writing, napping, cogitating. It has been very good for me to spend so much time in my little house on wheels. It certainly made winter go by MUCH quicker!

\n

As I was writing this yesterday, I was stretched out in my “sun room”…the slide-out in my camper. It is actually the dinette, but it collapses down and makes a twin-sized bed and I actually have a mattress in there. I have piles of pillows and comfy blankets all around so it’s a nice little cocoon in which to snuggle and write and dream.

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An e-mail came in while I was writing and it took me back probably ten years or so. It was from a site called Land Watch. Many years ago, I was trying to convince Mr. Virgo that it would be a very good idea to move back home to West Virginia. He humored me and looked at the farms and land I found. He half-heartedly searched for B&B’s for sale here and in the surrounding states. But, he came from Pennsylvania…he lived a long time in Florida…all with the goal of ultimately living in Colorado. His Nirvana. I think if push came to shove, he would have moved here for me…but he wouldn’t have been happy. God had different plans anyway because he took Mr. Virgo to His home before I could take him to mine.

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As I looked at that e-mail and thought of all those times I dreamed of having a few acres in West Virginia, I looked out the windows of TOW-Wanda at the fields and far hills of the Ponderosa and smiled. I have what I have always dreamed of having. A faith-filled life. A wonderful family…biological and bonus. And land…a garden, grass, trees, flowers. TWO farms, actually. I’m doubly blessed. I had no idea ten years ago I would realize my lifelong dream but it wouldn’t look at all like I thought it would. It’s funny how life plays out. 

\n

I took the liberty of blurring out some identifying features in the photo above. There’s a neighbor up at the top there…I blurred out their home. And I blurred out the roads and route numbers that were on the map. But it gives you an excellent view of the Ponderosa. All that green there? That’s what we mow! This satellite image was taken at least two and a half years ago because the maple is still in the front yard. It fell in late 2016 or early 2017. You can see the curved drive where there are two campers parked. My TOW-Wanda sits where that blue dot is on the map. 

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Nature is getting ready to show off…things are getting green. The trees are starting to bud. The forsythia are blooming, as are the daffodils. They were stunted somewhat by the polar vortex, I think. They are much shorter than usual. We were walking through the yard on Monday and realized it won’t be long till we need to mow it. It will be at least a month before we get the pool ready. As I am writing this, the sun is shining. We are at our high for the day…51 degrees. We are going to our Alma Mater’s Girl’s Softball game this evening to watch one of the granddaughters play. It is a good life we live and I still have to pinch myself sometimes to believe I’m really here.

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❤️

\n
“He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters,”    Psalm 23:2 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2019-03-27T01:30:52-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/03/27/the-ponderosa.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Hope","Positive Energy","Fun","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Presence","Choices","Change","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/03/25/into-the-woods.html", "title": "Into the Woods", "content_html": "

\"Satellite “A satellite view of The Farm….lots and lots of trees and hills.”

\n

You have seen pictures of the farmhouse I’ve been caring for…the home of my heart. I’ve tried to describe what the 74 acres looks like. “Lots of trees and woods” is a bit of an understatement and it’s hard to picture if you are unfamiliar with the dense deciduous woods of West Virginia.

\n

I went on Google Maps and took a satellite view of the farm. I wasn’t able to get all the land in one picture without making the house look so small you couldn’t see it. But, that little red dot in the lower left corner is the map pin on the house. And those dense woods you see there is maybe two-thirds of the farm itself. Inside those woods are trails and roads, creeks and rocky outcroppings. And somewhere off to the right about one-third up from the bottom is the strawberry shed where we sorted berries for the farmer’s market.

\n

The ground gains elevation rapidly on both sides of the house and comes together in a “V” and on up the hills to the back of the farm. The little creek that comes down off those hills and runs right past the bedroom window roars when there’s been heavy rain. It crosses under the road through a two or three foot culvert and joins the bigger creek across the road. That flows on down to a larger river, to a larger river, to the Ohio River to the Mississippi River, and finally to the Gulf of Mexico. Water from our farm. Isn’t that cool?

\n

Well, in theory it is cool. But this is the time of year for massive flooding so our rushing creek water gets added to thousands of other creeks and the drainage backs up. Our watershed isn’t related to the flooding in the Midwest. Their flooding is of epic proportions and people are still trying to dig out from under that.

\n

Before Parkersburg built the flood wall, town used to flood a lot. When I was a little girl, around five years old, the creek that ran beside our house overflowed its banks and we were evacuated by rowboats going up our street. Since then, a lot of mitigation work has been completed and they don’t see that kind of flooding anymore.

\n

We are supposed to be getting rain all day again. A little cooler today, but soon….soon we will enjoy long stretches of warm spring days and we can spend more time outside. The forsythia is just started to bloom. Whole hillsides are covered with bright yellow daffodils. They were an inexpensive flower that farm wives could afford to put in their yards to brighten up their little corners of the world. As a matter of fact, you drive along country roads and you can tell where houses once stood by the evidence of daffodils in a square or rectangle…surrounding the perimeter of a house long gone.

\n

The grass is greening up. Mr. FixIt and I remarked that we’ll be mowing before long. And, the spring onions are sending up their shoots in clumps all through the lawn. The first time or two that we mow, it will smell strongly of onions when we pass over them. When I was a little girl and we milked cows, the milk smelled and tasked of onion. NOT want you want to eat on your !Cheerios! The butter also smelled like onions…not quite so bad if you were putting in vegetables, but yucky if you were putting on biscuits with jelly.

\n

I love, love, love this time of year. Time to roll up our sleeves and get stuff done! 

\n

❤️

\n
“Let my teaching fall like rain and my words descend like dew, like showers on new grass, like abundant rain on tender plants.”    Deuteronomy 32:2 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2019-03-25T01:30:28-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/03/25/into-the-woods.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Fun","West Virginia","The Farm","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Love","God","Peace","Change","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/03/24/sunday-memories.html", "title": "Sunday Memories", "content_html": "

\"Hanky\" “Grandma always carried a fresh hanky wherever she went.”

\n

I was looking through my picture albums on my iPad yesterday. I sometimes browse to find old memories that stir up a story for you. This one did just that. I’ve been writing about The Farm since early on in this blog. Grandma’s farm holds a king-sized piece of real estate in my heart so my stories often center around my memories there. And, since I am knee deep in editing my rough draft for the book, I have been writing and re-reading these stories.

\n

For as far back as I can remember, my grandma tied a shiny dime in the corner of a clean hanky and gave one to each of us kids to take to church. The hanky for our little noses…the shiny dime for the collection plate. Then Pop-Pop gave us each a stick of Beeman’s gum. Actually, we only got half a stick till we got older. I can remember when I ‘graduated’ to a full stick…I felt so grown up.

\n

\"Bethel “Bethel Chapel…the little church on the hill. I drew this picture June 28, 2001…sitting on the sidewalk out front.”

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The little church-house up on the hill has been there since June 9, 1914. It hasn’t had a lot done to it in all those years. Two rooms were built on the back for classrooms and an indoor bathroom…something we didn’t have the pleasure of when I was growing up. The windows have been replaced. The belfry was listing to one side so it’s been shored up. It has been painted countless times over the years. When my cousin Rick and his wife Charlotte got married, my Aunt Peeps painted that church all by herself so it would be fresh for the wedding. That woman loved to paint!

\n

I have some really wonderful memories of that little church. And I’ve had some of my most traumatic there. This was the church where the little circuit preacher literally scared the pee out of me and I headed off to find God some other way. That led me to eventually becoming Jewish for twenty-seven years, and now…here I am…full circle and back to my roots. This was also the church where my parents were married, where my Pop-Pop was one of the lay-ministers, and where his funeral was held. Many Sundays I sat in the hard wooden pews as a little girl with my feet dangling mid-air, clutching my little hanky and worrying out the knot to get my dime ready for the collection. Many Sundays, Aunt Idy played the rickety old piano…it’s keys sticking and horribly out of tune. 

\n

Aunt Idy lived in a crooked white house. She was a tiny, frail little thing…never married. She helped care for her invalid sister and brother and she was my grandma’s best friend. Once a week, Aunty Idy called to get the latest “news” for the Ritchie County Gazette. She wrote the column about the latest goings on up Dutchman road and Grandma always cringed when she saw something about herself in the paper. She abided by the rule “Fool’s names, like their faces, always seen in public places.” It was usually something like “so-and-so had a visit this week from such-and-such from somewhere” or “Mr. & Mrs. Somebody went to Parkersburg this week to see the doctor. All were given a clean bill of heath!” Thank God Grandma never told her about hemorrhoids!

\n

Grandma’s hankies. I have a couple of them somewhere in my things…the things I couldn’t part with. I don’t know that my kids will be interested…or even my grandkids. So, maybe when it’s my time to go, I’ll tie a shiny dime in the corner and go looking for Grandma. 

\n

❤️

\n
“Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. As it is written: “They have freely scattered their gifts to the poor; their righteousness endures forever.””    2 Corinthians 9:6-9 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2019-03-24T01:30:54-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/03/24/sunday-memories.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Prayer","West Virginia","The Farm","Comfort","Grace","God","Peace","Wisdom","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/03/23/the-bodega.html", "title": "The Bodega", "content_html": "

\"The “Coffee at The Bodega”

\n

I decided to treat myself yesterday and stopped in the brand new coffee house that just opened. The Bodega. In Spanish, bodega actually means grocery store. But a broader meaning is a meeting place where you get supplies. I knew when I walked into this sweet storefront…this wasn’t your average run-of-the-mill coffee house. There was something special going on here.

\n

The atmosphere is soft, inviting, with a great big overstuffed sofa with a soft blanket and pillows. Next to it was a huge, supple leather chair. Small tables, fresh flowers, and a sort of fresh vintage farmhouse vibe made the place very comfortable. I ordered one of the homemade cinnamon rolls and a latte. Both were delicious. The staff were warm and inviting and are willing to accommodate the Coffee Divas when we gather for our monthly caffeine infusions.

\n

As I sipped my latte, I caught the music overhead…worship music. I have been immersing myself in praise music lately. I find my spirit uplifted and my writing goes much more smoothly when I get into the Word and Praise more. Then, when I am actually writing, I listen to the Nature Sounds station on Pandora. If I listen to praise music while I write, all I want to do is sing!

\n

The owner of the coffee shop was a missionary in Honduras for some time. While there, they had a gathering place where they received their marching orders for the day. They called it The Bodega because a lot of good things came into and went out of their doors. When she came back to the states, she took some time to heal and ponder how she could create such a place here. There are so many within the surrounding area who need loved on and  lifted up. 

\n

After countless “what ifs” she decided to just go for it and jumped in with both feet and thus, The Bodega was born. The owner is looking forward to seeing what kind of great things God has in mind for this little oasis. And so am I. 

\n

❤️

\n
“He said to them, “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation.”    Mark 16:15 NIV
\n \n", "date_published": "2019-03-23T01:30:29-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/03/23/the-bodega.html", "tags": ["Faith","Health","Positive Energy","Fun","West Virginia","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Peace","Peaceful Moments","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/03/18/a-night-out.html", "title": "A Night Out", "content_html": "

\"Embroidered “I love vintage embroidered linens.”

\n

When we finally got home from town after church yesterday, I went out to TOW-Wanda and started getting her ready for the camping season. And, by getting her ready I mean I made the bed. And got in it. There’s nothing better than a good book in your camper on a Sunday afternoon. That, and a little snooze.

\n

As I was getting the linens out to dress the bed, I came across these pillow cases. The blue and white one was purchased as part of a set made from antique German linens I purchased in Colorado in the ‘80s. The antique dealer had them embroidered…the pillow cases with the scroll embroidery and the shams with “Good Morning” and “Good Night”. I love this set and had forgotten the pillowcase had made it’s way into my camper at some point. 

\n

The other pillowcase is from a set I had my mom embroider when she came to Colorado one time. She used to embroider all the time and I loved the idea of having something she made to carry with me forever. It makes me smile and think of her.

\n

I sent my manuscript to the proofreader last week. There were a few typos she highlighted for me. And, there were a couple of notes to areas that needed fleshing out in my book. She mentioned she wanted to know more about my mom and our relationship. When I curled up under the covers in TOW-Wanda yesterday, I thought of my mom…Wanda. I picked up my iPad and wrote more about this kind and loving soul who was my mother. She was one of a kind and I loved listening to the rain on the roof as I walked down memory lane with my mom.

\n

Mother-daughter relationships can be tricky. My mom and I butted heads a lot. In all honesty, I was always a little too big for my britches, as my grandma would have put it. I was married to a doctor. I had a career in medicine. I had traveled a lot more and had lived in big cities. I fancied myself ever so much more sophisticated than my mom. It wasn’t until after the overdose that I realized what a horse’s patoot I had been to my poor mother. The only defense I have is the fact I was on Prozac for so many years and it changed my personality so that I really didn’t care much about others.

\n

Fortunately, I got off all the meds and alcohol and grew up quite a bit so that my mom and I had a much better relationship the last few years of her life. It would have been so terribly sad if she would have died before we got to that point. She has been gone for 15 years now…so hard to believe. I am so happy I have tangible reminders of her and that I chose to keep them when I downsized. There are some things you just can’t get rid of and this pillowcase is one of them.

\n

When Mr. FixIt came home, he came out and joined me in TOW-Wanda and we spent the night in the camper…our first night out for 2019. Maybe it’s not quite camping weather because they were predicting a bit of snow overnight, but we had plenty of cozy comforters and a furnace to keep us warm. Bring on the camping season!!! 

\n

❤️

\n
““Honor your father and mother.” This is the first commandment with a promise: If you honor your father and mother, “things will go well for you, and you will have a long life on the earth.””\n

Ephesians 6:2-3 NLT

\n", "date_published": "2019-03-18T01:30:21-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/03/18/a-night-out.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","Fun","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Peace","Peaceful Moments","Choices","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/03/12/angelversary.html", "title": "Angelversary", "content_html": "

\"Handsome “Remembering Mr. Virgo”

\n

Last year, I removed the date of Mr. Virgo’s death from my calendar so I would no longer receive reminders on my phone. After all, I’m not likely to forget such an event as that anyway. I do have a hard time remembering the exact date of my mom’s death and my grandma’s and my dad’s. I know approximately when they occurred but I have to look it up if I need to know the exact date. Not so with Mr. Virgo’s. I’ll never forget that…or him.

\n

It was six years ago today that we set out to buy the travel trailer to take us into retirement. It was a beautiful sunny day with a hint of spring and we had everything to look forward to. Although I had been having premonitions all week, it was still a shock when he died so suddenly.

\n

This was something I didn’t believe I could recover from. I swore to my girls that I would never, ever get married again because I couldn’t go through this a second time. Yet, here we are…six years down the road and I’m married again…to an equally wonderful man. I’ve been blessed with good men in my life. 

\n

My friend Deneene lost her husband in March a few years after me. I began to mentor her through the widow experience when she was going through a particularly rough patch. We don’t get to see each other much anymore as she has moved to South Carolina with her new love. We connect frequently via chat and yesterday, she sent a note telling me she was thinking of me and the angelversary of Mr. Virgo’s death. She asked how I was going to commemorate this day. Last year, when I removed the alarm from my calendar, I thought five years was enough of that. I figured I wouldn’t want to do anything special anymore. But, once I thought about it, I decided I was wrong. Time doesn’t change the facts.

\n

It’s interesting at this point to think of my marriage to Mr. Virgo. He has now been gone the same amount of time we were married. And, just because time has passed, and just because I’m crazy in love with Mr. FixIt and I’m happily married, doesn’t mean my love for this wonderful man I shared my life with has diminished. Daughter #2 called me yesterday and we talked for quite some time about this. When we lose someone so special, our hearts expand at some point. My heart is much, much bigger than it was when Mr. Virgo died. There are spaces there with the names of every person I have truly loved. Those spaces do not become smaller in order to allow room for other to come in. The vessel itself had to grow. 

\n

As time has passed after each loss, those spaces that remain from the love lost aren’t empty shells. I’ve filled them with love and memories like filling a beautiful vase with thousands of blooms…only these flowers will never die. There were times, especially with the divorces, that I held onto bitterness and anger, but those things did not serve me. Filling each space in my heart with love has been my saving grace. 

\n

I am so blessed to be married to such a wonderful man who does not expect me to clean house and rid myself of those spaces in my heart. I would never expect him to do so. If you have truly loved someone, no matter what the end result of the relationship, filling those rooms full of flowers can set you free.

\n

So, I’m at the farm. I’m writing and drinking good coffee and eating chocolate hearts. And I’m counting all my blessings for a heart filled with blooms by remembering my life with a good, kind man. ❤️

\n
“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”    Psalm 73:26 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2019-03-12T01:30:19-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/03/12/angelversary.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Change","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/03/08/a-new-perspective.html", "title": "A New Perspective", "content_html": "

\"Serenity “It never occurred to me to apply the Serenity Prayer to grief, but it makes perfect sense.”

\n

I used to be a social drinker. For a long time, I told myself that anyway. And, I suppose it was true if you considered every day having at least one, maybe two glasses of wine with dinner…”social” drinking. I mean…I WAS with people, right? I never really saw it as a problem. When I was pregnant with my second daughter, I didn’t drink at all and it never bothered me. After she was born, I had a small glass of wine in the evenings. The doctor said it was good for me and it relaxed the baby. Whatever the doctor says, right? 

\n

Once the baby was weaned, I was back to my two glasses every day. It didn’t really become a problem till the last year I was with Hubby #2. My marriage was on the rocks. I couldn’t fix it and I couldn’t face losing it. So, we put doilies on the elephant in the room and I mixed a pitcher of Martinis…for myself…before dinner. If it wasn’t Martinis, it was Tequila…or really good Scotch…or stiff Bloody Mary’s…or a bottle of excellent Cabernet. I was self medicating…and that was a problem.

\n

It interfered with my relationships…with my husband, with my kids, with my friends. I knew my marriage was circling the drain and I was going down with the ship. It wasn’t till after the overdose that I saw the light. I woke up in the ICU and knew I’d hit rock bottom and something had to change. I’ve never touched a drop since January 5th, 2000. And I can honestly say, I’ve never had the slightest craving, not the tiniest bit of desire to drink alcohol or take prescription pain meds. Nothing. 

\n

For a period of time, I went to AA meetings…nine months, maybe. I know there are people who work that program and it saves lives. I know that for a fact. I also know, God can lift that burden off of you in a heartbeat because I am living proof of that. For the longest time, I only related the Serenity Prayer to AA. It is recited at the meetings, so I took a narrow view of its usefulness.

\n

What if…what if we use the Serenity Prayer on grief? 

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“God, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change;”

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To this, we can say….”God, I cannot change the fact that he died. Help me to accept that.”

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“Courage to change the things I can;”

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To this, we can say…”God, help me walk in a way that honors him. Give me the courage to face this new life alone. Make me strong in my faith so that I can change the things in my life that no long serve me.”

\n

“And the Wisdom to know the difference.”

\n

To this, we can say…”God, make me wise in my decision making. Give me discernment in my dealings with people. Bring me the wisdom of knowing when to hang on to things and when to let go.”

\n

It honestly never occurred to me to use the Serenity Prayer on anything out of the context of alcohol…maybe drugs. But not Grief, or pain, or depression, or anxiety. This opens doors to another avenue of prayer and…I can never have too much prayer in my life. ❤️

\n
““I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.””   -   John 16:33 NIV
\n \n", "date_published": "2019-03-08T02:30:44-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/03/08/a-new-perspective.html", "tags": ["Faith","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Peace","Wisdom","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/03/07/feed-me.html", "title": "Feed Me!", "content_html": "

\"Cardinal\" “A redbird just makes my day!”

\n

I fixed my coffee and sat down at Grandma’s window to read my morning devotions before I commenced editing the rough draft yesterday. A red flash caught my eye and I looked out to see a cardinal at the feeder. It didn’t take long for me to realize both feeders were empty. I set my coffee aside and dragged the big seed bin from the corner of the dining room out to the front door. I used to leave this bin out on the front porch till one day I noticed the lid was getting chewed up. I used a bungee cord to tie the lid down to keep the critters out but the raccoons were about to get in out of sheer persistence.

\n

I quickly filled the feeders and was happy to get back inside out of the 17 degree chill. It was snowing to beat the band five minutes earlier, but now the sun was out. It left little warmth, unfortunately, but my…it did look pretty on that new snow. I dragged the seed bin back into the dining room and tucked it behind my chair and sat back down. In moments, Mr. and Mrs. Cardinal swooped back in, their feathers puffed up to trap air and keep them warm. They looked pretty fat and sassy, but I knew they appreciated breakfast.

\n

I heated up my coffee.

\n

I found myself wishing I had done more for Grandma when she lived here all those years after Pop-Pop died. Oh, I bought her a new stove once and a refrigerator. I talked to her on the phone one day and she was remarking how hot it was and her fan stopped working. I went online and ordered a fan and she received it the next day. She thought I was some kind of miracle worker. I never could get her to understand internet shopping.

\n

In her later years, when she spent so much time sitting in her chair in front of this very window, her Bible lay open on her lap as she studied her Sunday School Lesson. She would have loved to have had these bird feeders out on her porch then. The birds would have been so close she could almost reach out and touch them. This made me chuckle at another memory.

\n

When grandma took pictures of the family when we gathered for visits, she stood way back so everyone fit in the frame. None of this “scooch together, guys”. Nope…she would have moved back as far as she needed to to get everyone in the picture. This is why, unless you were present on that particular occasion, you only have the vaguest idea WHO is actually IN the photo. You can’t make out any facial features. If you blew up the pictures a hundred times, you still couldn’t identify anyone simply because it was too far away to gain any kind of focus.

\n

But SHE knew who was there. She never forgot a thing. She was sharp clear up to within a year or two before her death. She never forgot a gathering…they were just that important to her. She always wanted us to all get together at her house, at the same time. She reveled in her family. I understand that more now than I ever have. I miss my Colorado family. I enjoy my West Virginia family. Couldn’t the two states be closer?

\n

I finished my devotion, in front of Grandma’s window and another thought came to me. I wish I would have accepted Jesus while she was still living. She would have loved that. ❤️

\n
“How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity!”\n

Psalm 133:1 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2019-03-07T02:30:52-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/03/07/feed-me.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Uplifting Stories","Prayer","West Virginia","The Farm","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Wisdom","Peaceful Moments","Writing"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/03/06/a-change-of-scenery.html", "title": "A Change of Scenery", "content_html": "

\"The “Running out of propane sent me running for the farm.”

\n

I had a lovely, slow start to my morning yesterday. I had a full day planned out in “the office”, reading and editing the rough draft. Went out and turned the furnace on ahead of time to warm it up since it was a frigid 17 degrees. I fixed my coffee, gathered my book bag, kissed Mr. FixIt goodbye, and headed out to TOW-Wanda.

\n

I wasn’t out there 20 minutes when it seemed to be getting colder instead of warmer. I got up and checked the air blowing out of the heater vents…barely warm. I lit the burner on the stove and even on high, there was barely a flame. I was very close to running out of propane. So, I shut it all down, packed everything back up, and headed back in the house.

\n

As I’ve shared before, we are in the midst of renovating the master bath, which usually has Mr. FixIt hopping. However, with it being 17 degrees, he wasn’t very motivated to go out to the building and cut drywall. I knew I would be tempted to blow off what I intended to do and just hang out with my buddy all day. Instead, I announced there was a change of plans.

\n

Since my book bag was already packed, I decided to come to the farm for a few days of intense editing time. After a snooze in the recliner, Mr. FixIt found the motivation to work on the bathroom…since his playmate wasn’t going to be there. It sounds like a win-win, I do believe. I arrived, fixed some lunch, and carried my coffee to the front window where Grandma always watched the world go by. My portable desk on my lap, my iPad open and at the ready, I found my gaze continually pulled to the view before me.

\n

There is the clock I bought Mr. Virgo for his last Christmas. There is the little birdhouse my dear friend Charlotte gave me. You can see the newel post my Uncle Bud made for Grandma when I was a very little girl. He had a penchant for all things cedar. Out front, the bird feeders were attracting the usual flock of chickadees, finches, and tufted titmice. The doves gathered around on the ground below, scavenging what had been knocked aside by the others as they looked for their favorite tidbits among the seeds.

\n

I kept hearing a banging sound I couldn’t identify. It sounded like the popping sound the old gas stove made before we switched out for the new one. I sat in the bathroom for twenty minutes waiting for it to kick off and back on but it never did. I sat in the bedroom and finally heard the sound again. It came from the front of the house. I walked around out front and couldn’t find anything and just as I was coming back inside, a gust of wind knocked something on the front porch and duplicated the sound. A little repositioning and the problem was solved.

\n

The deep gong of the only wind chime I can tolerate let me know the breeze is picking up. It’s cold and white outside, but in here, it’s warm and toasty. We have free gas at the farm. My Pop-Pop always said, the free gas was worth more than the farm itself. I believe he is correct, from a strictly monetary and convenience standpoint. But I would beg to differ in the real value of these 74 acres. This is…and will always be…the home of my heart. It’s old. It’s drafty. The roof leaks in a couple places, but not bad. The linoleum flooring is cracked and has holes here and there…it’s pattern worn and faded. 

\n

The original double hung windows are single paned in desperate need of a good washing. The nail heads show through on the old plaster and lathe walls. The boards creak in just the right areas to play the same tune I’ve heard all my life as I wander through the rooms. The pump kicks on out in the cellar house, reminding me our water doesn’t come through some treatment plant but is filtered through the sand and limestone far below my feet. It’s been briny ever since they capped off the wells on this property over 60 years ago.

\n

As I write this, propped up in Grandma and Pop-Pop’s bed, the window is cracked open just enough so I can hear the soft gurgle of the creek beneath the bedroom window. You don’t really have to have the window open to feel the wind blowing outside. All you need to do is stand near the front or back door and hold out your hand. The wind blows around the edges quite easily.

\n

A thought has been nagging me for a week till I finally figured it out. My grandma died 20 years ago March 2nd. It is so hard to believe she has been gone so long and I miss her every day. I think that’s one reason I love this farm so much. I know SHE loved it, and I loved her. This is where I feel closest to her.

\n

Ok, so…I didn’t get as much done yesterday as I would have liked. That’s ok…my heart is full and my spirit is warmed by the rich memories these walls hold for me. I’ll take getting recharged here over stressing about edits…any day of the week. Today will be another day and I can start refreshed…coffee in hand…warmth in my heart. ❤️

\n
““But watch out! Be careful never to forget what you yourself have seen. Do not let these memories escape from your mind as long as you live! And be sure to pass them on to your children and grandchildren.”\n

Deuteronomy 4:9 NLT

\n 

\n", "date_published": "2019-03-06T02:30:11-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/03/06/a-change-of-scenery.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","West Virginia","The Farm","Gratitude","Comfort","Love","Wisdom","Presence","Peaceful Moments","Writing","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/03/04/march-forth.html", "title": "March Forth", "content_html": "

\"March “March forth on March 4th!”

\n

One of the benefits of being 65 is hindsight. I look back over my life and see a mishmash of events and situations that have led me to the exact spot where I stand today. Any decision along the way could have taken me in an entirely different direction. What if I hadn’t had the two marriages that ended in divorce? I wouldn’t have these beautiful daughters that have blessed my life so tremendously. I wouldn’t have Big and Little to make my heart sing. I wouldn’t have the in-laws and extended families that come with marriages. I wouldn’t have the lessons I learned through it all.

\n

Each decision brought the next circumstance. While the second divorce was the worst because it was the longest marriage…if we hadn’t parted company, I never would have met Mr. Virgo. He helped me to believe in myself. He taught me so much about life and unconditional love. I tell people he taught me how to live without him by showing me I am much stronger than I ever believed. And then he died. 

\n

I can’t help but look back over the past nearly six years since Mr. Virgo died and marvel at the resilience of the human heart. I was battered, crushed, totally broken when he died. And bit by bit, I picked up the pieces of my broken self and handed them to God to hold. They cut me when I tried to hang on to them. He faithfully, diligently stitched the pieces back together, making sure I resembled who I was before but knowing he couldn’t make a carbon copy.

\n

Faith. Hebrews 11:1 says “…faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” It wasn’t just my heart God stitched back together. He instilled in me…hope. When it was 3:00am and I was clinging to the edge of the mattress hoping to just get through the night, He whispered hope. When I cried till I couldn’t breathe…He whispered hope. He breathed hope into my life every single day so that I could find the strength to march forth into the next day, and the next, and the next. 

\n

It’s been 2,182 days I’ve marched forth. I have friends who are on day 4…day 21…day 93. My heart hurts for them. I want them to understand, I know it hurts. And I know you think you will never survive this or feel joy again. I let God carry the sharp bits for a long time. I handed the pieces over and asked Him to start stitching. I let Him breathe hope into the dark places. That’s how I got through. 

\n

Here I am…happily married again. The size of my family has literally doubled. So has my joy…and my faith. ❤️

\n
“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”   Hebrews 11:1 KJV
\n", "date_published": "2019-03-04T02:30:33-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/03/04/march-forth.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","God","Wisdom","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/02/26/go-with-the-flow.html", "title": "Go With the Flow", "content_html": "

\"Go “When the words don’t come, you have to go with the flow.”

\n

I took Saturday and Sunday off from writing, other than my usual daily blog post. I didn’t get home from town till around 3:00 Saturday afternoon and I decided to give the rest of the day to my sweetheart. Sunday was church with the family and we weren’t back home till late and with the power outage, I needed to focus on keeping the generator running while Mr. FixIt was bowling. 

\n

I got up early yesterday, grabbed my coffee and headed out to my “office”…aka TOW-Wanda. I sat down and looked at my screen. I wrote about 1200 words, but I wasn’t feeling them. What was wrong? I sat and stared out the window. Two buzzards circled above the yard. Perhaps searching for carrion along the roadside. The sun was bright and totally belied the freezing temperature. The furnace blasted out warm air as I snuggled under my favorite camper blanket.

\n

What was wrong with me? I’ve been writing prolifically for the past three weeks. Suddenly, I hit a road block. I picked up my phone and looked at the calendar. That can sometimes bring up a memory that’s lurking around the edges of my mind. Ahhhh…Monday. I had to be at the funeral home at 1:00. They were laying my coffee mate’s husband to rest. I hate funerals. I’ve been writing about Mr. Virgo’s funeral. I’ve been at the funeral home twice in a week. I pushed my iPad away and leaned back on my stack of pillows and took my mind through the process I have to go through since Mr. Virgo died.

\n

This isn’t your pain.

\n

Your husband didn’t die this week.

\n

You aren’t laying him in the ground.

\n

You don’t have to say goodbye again and again and again.

\n

Your role here is to support your friend.

\n

I sighed and tucked my writing tools in my big blue bag. There would be no writing this day. That’s ok. It’s important to be flexible…change course when the moment insists…to go with the flow. You can’t force something like writing or your reader will know in a heartbeat. Just because it didn’t flow in that moment, doesn’t mean the supply is gone. It just means someone else needed my heart for a while. ❤️

\n
“And now, dear brothers and sisters, we want you to know what will happen to the believers who have died so you will not grieve like people who have no hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and was raised to life again, we also believe that when Jesus returns, God will bring back with him the believers who have died. We tell you this directly from the Lord: We who are still living when the Lord returns will not meet him ahead of those who have died. For the Lord himself will come down from heaven with a commanding shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trumpet call of God. First, the believers who have died will rise from their graves. Then, together with them, we who are still alive and remain on the earth will be caught up in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. Then we will be with the Lord forever. So encourage each other with these words.”\n

1 Thessalonians 4:13-18 NLT

\n", "date_published": "2019-02-26T02:30:56-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/02/26/go-with-the-flow.html", "tags": ["Faith","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Hope","Positive Energy","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Peace","Wisdom","Presence"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/02/25/power-outage.html", "title": "Power Outage", "content_html": "

\"Power “A power outage is not uncommon in the country.”

\n

One of the disadvantages of living way, WAY out in the country is the frequent power outages. I do have to say, I believe this is the first one I’ve experienced here at the Ponderosa. Mr. FixIt has told me stories of outages that have lasted over two weeks out here so I am sure praying this isn’t one of them.

\n

We’ve had tons of rain. That softened the ground. Then Sunday morning, the wind picked up and there are trees down everywhere. If they take down a power line, or snap power poles in half, or even make the wires move so much they cause a transformer to blow, then you’re out of luck. Last winter, in preparation for just such an event, Mr. FixIt pulled the generator out of the big building and set it up by the back door. He had a tarp over it to protect it from the elements. We are good Scouts!

\n

We went to church yesterday before the wind picked up. The power was on and we didn’t think anything of it. By the time church was over and we had our usual brunch afterwards, we still had a couple of errands to run before delivering our family to their house. We didn’t get home till about 4:00. We left the sump pumps running when we headed out for church. Mr. FixIt was up four or five times during the night checking the water level. Finally, at 5:00am, it was time to turn them on. When we came to the door, my husband cocked his head and said, “The power’s out.” The pumps weren’t running.

\n

He headed downstairs and the water was starting to seep in under the door. We had to get those pumps running ASAP. I said a prayer and the generator started right up. We WERE good Scouts….except for one thing. The gas can was empty! Mr. FixIt headed to our little town to fill the can however, the gas station was also without electricity. The only choice was to run to the next bigger town, which I did. I got back before he had to leave for bowling. We added oil to the generator and filled the tank and started it back up.

\n

My sweetie ran an extension cord into the house so I could have a lamp. We had water. We had natural gas for cooking and for the stove that heats the living room. I bundled up and cuddled under my fur blanket, and started writing. He asked if I would be ok when he left. I laughed because this isn’t roughing it. I’ve lived in a camper on the banks of the Ohio River with no running water, a foot of snow on the ground, and -15 wind chill. This is nothing….just a minor inconvenience. It’s life in the country. I have no idea how long the power was out before we got home. And, at the time I am writing this, I have no idea how long it will be off. I called the power company and they said it was a widespread outage. It is affected 3,800 - 4,000 customers in our county alone. It comes on when it comes on.

\n

I remain joyful and keep praying and I’m so thankful for a house and a generator, and a camper with heat should we continue without power into the night. I will remain thankful in all circumstances. ❤️

\n
“Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.”\n

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 NLT

\n", "date_published": "2019-02-25T02:30:56-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/02/25/power-outage.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","West Virginia","Gratitude","Comfort","Peace","Courage","Presence","Choices","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/02/20/new-kicks.html", "title": "New Kicks!", "content_html": "

\"Brooks “It pays to buy quality shoes!”

\n

For about the last six months or so, I’ve noticed a pain in the ball of my left foot, near the base between my third and fourth toe. It feels like what we used to call a stone bruise. I rely on walking as my main exercise but this has become decidedly uncomfortable. I know I haven’t been wearing the right shoes this winter…mainly out of laziness. I just grab the quickest slip-ons and I know they don’t provide the proper support.

\n

Yesterday was our appointment with the chiropractor. I really look forward to seeing her once a month. Ever since my accident two years ago, I have seen her with regularity. She thinks I have a Morton’s neuroma. I strongly suggest if someone thinks you have something, don’t Google it. You’ll find out things you wish you didn’t know like treatments and recurrence and surgeries and…yuck. She suggested I get better walking shoes.

\n

My cousin’s wife texted yesterday and asked what I was up to.

\n

“Heading to the mall to buy new WALKING SHOES!!!”

\n

“Great! Get Brooks…they saved my feet!”

\n

“?$$$”

\n

“Yeah…but well worth it!!!”

\n

I’m all about the cheap stuff, except when it comes to shoes. My feet have to carry me wherever I want to go. So, I’m willing to spend more for good quality shoes.

\n

I stepped into one of those budget shoe stores first. No Brooks…no surprise. I stuck my hand in several pair and pressed on the material cushioning the ball of the foot. No go. They all felt like they had nothing but the 1/8th inch foam insole. That’s how I got in this problem in the first place.

\n

I went on down the mall to the new sport clothing store. They didn’t have Brooks either. They had more running shoes than anything else and they don’t offer the comfort and support I was looking for either.

\n

My next stop was Finish Line, a fitness and sporting shoe specialty store. They had Brooks! But, man…they were pricey! Still, I know my cousin’s wife has trouble with her feet and if she says Brooks saved her feet, I was going to try them. I asked for two different styles with different price points. Wow! The moment I put on the first pair, the pain eased significantly. They felt like I was walking on clouds. You know that feeling when you find the perfect shoe.

\n

I vacillated. I hated to spend three figures on a pair of shoes. Yet, these felt wonderful. In the end, I bought the shoes. If you buy cheap shoes, you’ll be buying them repeatedly over the years. The last pair of good walking shoes I bought have lasted me four years. I bought these for $136. There’s no reason to believe these won’t also last four years and if they do, that’s $34 a year. I’m good with that. 

\n

We walked a few laps to test them out, then headed home. Mr. FixIt cleaned out the gutters in preparation for the huge rainstorm we are supposed to get over the next 36 hours or so. I tucked into TOW-Wanda and wrote till dusk. After supper, I wrote for another three hours. 

\n

43,148 words! ?❤️

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“For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that.”\n

1 Timothy 6:7-8 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2019-02-20T02:30:17-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/02/20/new-kicks.html", "tags": ["Health","Overcoming Obstacles","Gratitude","Comfort","Wisdom","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/02/17/another-peaceful-day.html", "title": "Another Peaceful Day", "content_html": "

\"Deer “Deer grazing outside my window in TOW-Wanda.”

\n

I have now spent eight out of the last ten days in TOW-Wanda and I have to tell you…I feel like a million bucks! Usually by this time of year, I’m ready to pull my hair out with boredom. I usually become less content with each passing day, even though the daylight is becoming longer…the long, dark nights shorter. The only two things I have done differently this year is leave the tree up and spend long hours in my camper.

\n

There is a reason girl campers like their little houses on wheels. They offer us a safe sanctuary in which to create. Some of us haul our sewing machines out to the camper in the fall and sit out there happily sewing quilts, clothes for the grandkids, linens for the home, gifts for family and friends. Some knit and crochet, weaving prayers and stories into their creations. Some cross-stitch or needlepoint, creating marvelous pictures from colorful threads.

\n

Some gather friends to join us for tea or drinks, showing off our fancy little playhouses. Some have sleepovers with the grandchildren, bringing up the next generation to adore our little campers in the same way we have. There are as many different varieties of girl campers as there are travel trailers and we celebrate each and every one of them every time we tow.

\n

Me? Well, as you well know…and I’ve told you repeatedly this week…I write in TOW-Wanda every chance I get. I turn on Pandora, find the Nature Sounds channel, and listen to raucous rainstorms, salient sea breezes, flighty feathered friends chirping in the forests. I’m instantly transported from the chill of wintery West Virginia into another place, another time. My little twinkle lights glow above me…the view out the windows revealing a stoic blue heron near the creek or a browsing herd of deer making their way across the lawn. Yesterday, I watched the moonrise over the hills to the east of the Ponderosa and I counted my blessings in that very moment.

\n

I’ve written 30,560 words on my book as of last evening. Words that take me to corners of my mind I sometimes wish were never there. And to places and times that I cherish dearly. These words stir something in me…always. But they are just feelings now. They aren’t happening in this moment. That’s how I keep them from poking me now with little barbs…trolls with sharp sticks…fairies with tiny wands…giants with hammers. They aren’t happening now and God is bigger than any poking thing in our lives. 

\n

30,560….encouraging words, painful words, funny words, sad words, terrifying words, loving words. This thing is happening! ❤️

\n
“A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.”\n

Proverbs 15:4 ESV

\n", "date_published": "2019-02-17T02:30:01-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/02/17/another-peaceful-day.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Positive Energy","TOW-Wanda!","Fun","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","goRVing","Grace","God","Wisdom","Courage","Humbled","Presence","Peaceful Moments","Girl Camper","Girl Campers","Writing","Choices","Change","Art"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/02/15/the-hazards-of-writing.html", "title": "The Hazards of Writing", "content_html": "

\"Writing “When I write a ton, I have a tendency to forget who I told what to. It’s an occupational hazard.”

\n

I’m knee deep in writing this book now. All week, I have gathered my coffee and my writing gear and headed out to “the office”…my wonderful little home on wheels…TOW-Wanda. I turn on the furnace and curl up on the day bed, cover up, and sip coffee till it warms up enough to concentrate. When I shut it down at 3:00 yesterday afternoon, I had 20, 534 words written. It’s amazing!

\n

This is in addition to writing my blog post every day and normal communications with people via text, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and e-mail. Whew! There are a ton of words flowing out of these fingers and I’m literally typing as fast as I can. The downside of all that is…I cant remember who I’ve told what to. Did I type that in a tweet yesterday or text it to my friends Janine and Gayle this morning? Was that story in my blog last week or was I telling someone about that when I saw them yesterday? It’s partially age. It’s partially multiple head injuries and the subdural hematoma I received when my truck was totaled two years ago. It’s partially the brain fog of grief still affecting me. And, it has a lot to do with the sheer volume of words that I write.

\n

I know I’ve told you this week that writing the book this time is totally different, but I’m going to tell you again…because it amazes me. When the words flow like this, it’s magic. Time and space disappear. It’s a cross between watching a movie and writing what I see, and typing out dictation. I know it sounds trite to tell you the words don’t even seem to come from me. I know sheer repetition over the years has honed my writing skills, but still…I’ll read something I write and think, “Wow, that’s pretty good. I wish I could write that well!” It’s both intriguing and disconcerting to feel so disconnected from the process and still have it turn out ok.

\n

I know I told you it’s easier emotionally this time, but I’ll elaborate on that. Yes, it’s easier in that it doesn’t feel like I’m ripping my heart out of my chest to write this time. However, I’m finding my level of discomfort varies with the topic of the day. I wrote something about anxiety the other day, and that night I felt anxiety rise up in me about something. I haven’t felt true anxiety for quite some time so I can only attribute it to the writing because nothing else has changed. Yesterday I wrote about an episode of childhood sexual abuse and I could feel the prickles of adrenaline running up the back of my arms. I was writing about hard stuff and my body was feeling it.

\n

It’s ok to feel these things. If I am so disconnected from the emotions of the experience, my writing would be flat. It’s a thin line between feeling the feels and having my heart ripped out of my chest. I’ve been praying that God will help me say what he wants me to say, and to give me just enough juice to feel it. He is a good and compassionate Father and he is walking me through this every day. I feel his presence when I work. I am grateful for that.

\n

We had bible study last night. We are still working our way through Goliath Must Fall by Louie Giglio and last night we covered the chapter on Comfort. The Giant of Comfort isn’t those times we take a break and go on vacation or when we have really great furniture that cradles our bodies. The kind of comfort Louie is talking about is complacency. When we do just enough to get by. He said we are closer to God when we are are experiencing discomfort. In other words, when we are out of our comfort zones. When we expand and reach and push ourselves to do something we really feel God is telling us to do, but it’s not something we are necessarily excited about doing. But we do it anyway. that’s letting the Giant of Comfort fall. I feel like that’s what I’m doing with my writing. Sometimes I write things that literally make me squirm. They aren’t always comfortable to talk about. I just truly feel like I’m doing what God has called me to do and he tells me to be honest. There’s very little I hold back here, much to the dismay of some of my friends. 

\n

Anyway, I just wanted to say, if I start repeating myself too much, someone give me a holler, will ya? Cause there’s only so much I can keep in this little brain when I’m writing this much. ❤️

\n
“do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.”\n

Philippians 4:6 ESV

\n 

\n", "date_published": "2019-02-15T02:30:42-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/02/15/the-hazards-of-writing.html", "tags": ["Faith","TOW-Wanda!","Growth","Comfort","God","Wisdom","Courage","Peaceful Moments","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/02/07/time-to-visit-my-friend.html", "title": "Time to Visit my Friend", "content_html": "

\"Camper “TOW-Wanda in the fog at the Ponderosa.”

\n

I have a tendency to get antsy. I get bored pretty easily and being cooped up in the house drives me batty after a while. Poor Mr. FixIt was down for the third day in a row with a virus. I fixed him tea. I made him a pot of homemade potato soup. I gave him cold meds. I tucked him in his recliner with a heating pad. I even watched a movie with him. But, as much as I dearly love the man, I had to do something else for a little bit.

\n

I’ve been wanting to spend the night out in TOW-Wanda for some time now. Even though I camped with her up on the Ohio River this time of the year in 2015, doesn’t mean I am necessarily anxious to repeat the experience when the temperature hovers below freezing. This week is different. The temp today is supposed to get up to 70 degrees! Yesterday was a different story. Even though it was around 62 degrees out there, it was grey and foggy after a day of rain. When the rain cleared up a bit, I packed up my bag with knitting, books, my iPad, and my phone and headed out for a break in my little home on wheels.

\n

I really miss her in the winter. I took the covers off the bedroom windows, slipped out of my shoes, and snuggled in under a pile of blankets. Once the initial chill of the cold bed began to subside, I sighed and pulled the blankets up under my chin and rolled on my side. I could hear the creek out by the road…roaring and swollen from the rain. A lone crow cawed from the tree line out at the far end of the big field. As much as I would have loved to pull out my book, or pick up my knitting…I just sank down into the memory foam mattress and let TOW-Wanda cradle me with the safe, warm feelings I always get when I spend time with her.

\n

I thought about the cold, October rains that I drove through when I brought her to West Virginia for the first time. I remembered the sounds of the riverboats breaking through the crust of ice on the Ohio River as they carried theirs loads of coal and assorted cargo. I thought about the many times my fear and anxiety were eased when I escaped with her to the woods. She was my sanctuary. My safe haven. My diversion. My home when I really had no one in my self-appointed exile. She is where I did my best healing. Sometimes I just need to go spend some time with her.

\n

I drifted off for just a bit and roused when it was getting dusky out. I could see the fog settling in the back field as it rose from the roadway. I smiled and thanked her for being here where I can visit anytime. It’s much better than when I had to store her away from me for the winter. I’m at a place where I am ready to work on my book again. I have accountability partners in my friends Janine and Gail. Janine reminded me yesterday it was time to get to work. My goal is 500 words a day. That ought to be a piece of cake considering I already write to you lovely people that much quite easily. TOW-Wanda is my studio, my office, my writing space. Today, I will go out and prop all my pillows around the twin bed in my slide-out, which I call my “sunroom”, and write with the windows flung open to catch the warm air. Air with the promise of spring. It’s going to be a good day. ❤️

\n
“And I say, \"Oh, that I had wings like a dove! I would fly away and be at rest; yes, I would wander far away; I would lodge in the wilderness; Selah”\n

Psalms 55:6-7 ESV

\n", "date_published": "2019-02-07T02:30:30-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/02/07/time-to-visit-my-friend.html", "tags": ["TOW-Wanda!","Camping","West Virginia","Gratitude","Comfort","Peace","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/01/27/building-up-my-stash.html", "title": "Building up my Stash", "content_html": "

\"Hand-knit “Eighteen hand-knit cotton dishclothes are perfect for impromptu gifts.”

\n

Yesterday was a decompression day. Taking care of and loving on lots of people this week left me needing a day that was all about me, for the most part. I’m almost finished with the cotton yarn I bought to knit dishcloths. There’s probably enough to make a couple more. I have eighteen in my stash. I like having these around for impromptu gift giving. I also get a bar of lavender soap every time my doTerra order comes around and I don’t need vitamins. I put these things all away to have ready for birthdays and hostess gifts.

\n

I have this whole bonus family through marrying Mr. FixIt and I am thrilled to say the grandkids are going to church with me today! Mr. FixIt and I will go at noon then when he bowls this evening, I’ll take the grandkids with me and treat them out to dinner after church. I wanted to spend some quality time alone with them. Bonding time is important in step-families…even when the kids are all grown up. I’m so excited…I can hardly wait!

\n

I told you I would let you know if I slept well again when I practiced handing everything over to God before bed. Well, I did and it was amazing how fast I fell asleep…and stayed asleep all night. I think I’m onto something here!

\n

We haven’t been to church for two weeks because of bad weather. I can hardly wait to get there today…twice! Have a blessed Sunday, dear ones. I’ll see you this evening for Sunday Night Prayer Circle. ❤️

\n
“Children’s children are a crown to the aged, and parents are the pride of their children.”\n

Proverbs 17:6 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2019-01-27T02:30:49-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/01/27/building-up-my-stash.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","God","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/01/23/that-flash-of-red.html", "title": "That Flash of Red", "content_html": "

\"Male “Mr. & Mrs. Cardinal in the forsythia bush.”

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Cardinals don’t migrate, so we have an abundance of them here in West Virginia. It is our state bird, along with that of six other states. I grew up calling them “redbirds”. They were my grandma’s favorites and she took such delight when she saw a flash of crimson darting in and out of the shrubs out on the farm. 

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This picture shows a pair of cardinals. The male of course is flashy and bright with a black mask across his face. The female is a dusty, rusty reddish grey. They both have a peaked crown of feathers on top of their heads. They had a distinct chirp you cannot miss. This pair is nesting in the forsythia bush out by the corner of the house. Mr. FixIt pruned them way back just before the wedding when he cleaned up the property. 

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I just love these birds. We have talked about them here a lot. We have discussed whether they signal a visit from a loved one who has passed. I like to think, since Grandma loved them so much, it is her flying by to say hello, but the truth of the matter is, you see them here year-round.

\n

It finally warmed up a bit yesterday but we still worked inside. The dry, winter air in the house has caused the glue to dry out in the joints of some of our bigger pieces of furniture so Mr. FixIt took a support rail off and used wood glue before screwing the piece securely back together. I knitted and made a big pot of Beef Stroganoff for dinner. It was a pretty laid-back day and we really enjoyed it. ❤️

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“While the earth remains, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night, shall not cease.\"”\n

Genesis 8:22 ESV

\n", "date_published": "2019-01-23T02:30:53-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/01/23/that-flash-of-red.html", "tags": ["Family","Fun","West Virginia","Gratitude","Comfort","Love","Peace","Presence","Be Joyful!","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/01/21/the-arctic-blast.html", "title": "The Arctic Blast", "content_html": "

\"Full “Full Moon on the New Fallen Snow, West Virginia”

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This is the time of year when we just get blasted with frigid air from the north. We’ve been fortunate (knock on wood) to have escaped the really bad snowstorms so far this year. They seem to all sweep north of us. And that’s were they can stay for all I care. Those of you who have been following this blog since it’s inception know I lived in Colorado for forty years. I’m just WAY over long, cold, snowy winters.

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I can’t help reminiscing about those severe snow storms I experienced over the four decades I lived in the Rockies. A few stand out…the Christmas Eve Blizzard of 1982…the year we moved from the log house in the country to the big house in town, Christmas 1990…the winter we spent in Pagosa Springs when it snowed 7’, and the really bad winter of 2013-14, the year Mr. Virgo died. At least here in West Virginia, things are starting to warm up and there are signs of spring in March. March and April are usually Colorado’s snowiest months.

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We awoke yesterday to very icy conditions…not a lot of snow, but ice here is quite the deterrent for me. We decided to stay home and that makes two weeks in a row that we didn’t make it to church. We don’t like that one bit. I was really happy they played the video of the service on the church’s YouTube channel so I still got to see it. I spent the entire day yesterday snuggled up under my fur blanket, knitting dishcloths and catching up with friends and family on Facebook. Sometimes you have to have a good self care day.

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I went out last night to capture the full moon on the new-fallen snow and absolutely loved the picture. I had every intention of going out to see the lunar eclipse but at 10:00 the wind chill was already -3 so I thought better of it. I’ve seen lunar eclipses before…they look the same in January as they do in the summer. Stay warm wherever you are! ❤️

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“Do you not know that you are God's temple and that God's Spirit dwells in you? If anyone destroys God's temple, God will destroy him. For God's temple is holy, and you are that temple.”\n

1 Corinthians 3:16-17 ESV

\n", "date_published": "2019-01-21T02:30:40-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/01/21/the-arctic-blast.html", "tags": ["Health","Family","West Virginia","Gratitude","Comfort","Love","Peace","Presence","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/01/20/the-poet-from-darkness-into.html", "title": "The Poet - From Darkness into Light", "content_html": "

\"Meme\" “Think before you speak. Read before you think.”

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\"maybe death isn’t darkness, after all, but so much light wrapping itself around us — as soft as feathers\"\n

~ Mary Oliver

\nHow I let a treasure like Mary Oliver slip through my fingers, I’ll never know. It’s an excellent example of realizing how very much I do not know. The internet has been filled with loving tributes to this gentle woman with the expansive heart…her pen trimming away the excesses of flowery verse and going straight for the pit of your stomach. Her words are like magic…painting pictures of love and kindness and tenderness. Nature was her cathedral. Poetry was her torch.

\n

Oliver loved Whitman and Emerson, Shelley and Keats. Growing up in a dysfunctional home in Ohio, she ultimately settled in the wilds of New England, wandering through her woods and harbor…taking notes and penning phrases along the way. She has been compared to Emily Dickinson. Her poetry is filled with both darkness and joyous light. Her life partner, Molly Malone Cook, was her constant companion for over forty years, as well as her literary agent. After Molly’s death in 2005, Oliver continued on in Provincetown, Massachusetts until finally relocating to Florida. She rarely gave interviews because she valued her personal privacy and wished for her work to speak for itself. Mary Jane Oliver passed away on January 17, 2019 of lymphoma. And the world lost a valuable treasure.

\n

In researching Oliver’s work, I became introspective. How often do we think, once we have arrived at “a certain age”, that we somehow have attained a level of knowledge that we can, at the very least, term “well rounded”? I know a little bit about a lot of stuff, but there is SO much out there I haven’t a clue about. We cannot possibly learn everything, but how sad that I didn’t know Mary Oliver and her brilliant poetry during times in my life it might have soothed my heart. How joyful that I still have the opportunities to continue learning and growing.

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We are but a sum of our life’s experiences, are we not? The other night, I had a troubling dream. A recurring dream about a hopeless situation which will never be resolved nor totally understood. Not in this lifetime anyway. And whenever I have this dream, I am left feeling an ache in my heart…bereft over a loss I had little control over. It leaves me out of sorts for days and colors my every interaction, thus leaving the stains of old hurts smeared onto others who have no knowledge of my pain. It’s unfair and senseless. As I drove to town yesterday, I had a conversation with God. I asked Him to please step in and be an intermediary…to block this dream, and even the thoughts of the events that precipitate it. To take away the memories that come back and haunt me year after year. As I pleaded with God, I literally felt the old, familiar ache physically leave my heart. A weight was lifted and the cloud in my mind dissipated. I immediately thanked Him. Then…I let it go. 

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Poetry. Prose. Words. Prayers. God. They have such power to release you from the bondage of the past…if you let them. If you feel them and taste them and speak them. They can breathe life back into the sore places of your soul. ❤️

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“If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.”\n

1 Corinthians 13:1-3 ESV

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\n", "date_published": "2019-01-20T02:30:58-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/01/20/the-poet-from-darkness-into.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Presence","Writing","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/01/13/the-kitchen-window.html", "title": "The Kitchen Window", "content_html": "

\"Kitchen “The view out my kitchen window at the Ponderosa allows me to watch the birds at the feeder.”

\n

When I was growing up, I spent as much time out at my grandma’s farm as I possibly could. I never minded washing dishes at Grandma’s because there was a big window over the kitchen sink. I’ve moved many times over the years and was always so pleased when the kitchen had a window over the sink. It didn’t really matter the view…as long as I could see out and open it for some fresh air, I was a happy camper.

\n

I was thrilled when I found out Mr. FixIt’s house has a window I can gaze out as I wash the dishes. He keeps a bird feeder full for me so I can watch the birds fly in and out of the surrounding trees and brush to light just beyond where I stand. Yesterday, there were several cardinals. There’s nothing prettier than the flash of a redbird swooping in and landing just in front of me. Their brilliant scarlet plumage against the new fallen snow is breathtaking. They say a cardinal is a sign a loved one is visiting from heaven. If that is true, our house was a busy place yesterday. There were also chickadees, tufted titmice, a pair of mourning doves, and the occasional downy woodpecker added to the mix.

\n

In the late summer, early fall, the deer gather under that tree you see out there in the yard and eat the fallen crabapples. In the late spring, Mr. FixIt puts up the hummingbird feeder and fills it for me. He loves the birds as much as I do.

\n

We didn’t get the snow that was predicted…as least not by the time of this writing last night. Mr. FixIt has half the bathroom subfloor put down in the master bath. He came in from checking the mail and handed me a package…a canvas print of Daughter #1 and her family. Now I need to plan a family portrait wall!

\n

If it’s slick this morning, we’ll stay home and watch church on TV. I must say, it was very nice to not leave the house at all. It was a beautiful day filled with knitting and love. It doesn’t get much better than that! ❤️

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“I know every bird in the mountains, and the insects in the fields are mine.”\n

Psalm 50:11 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2019-01-13T02:30:17-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/01/13/the-kitchen-window.html", "tags": ["Family","Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","West Virginia","The Farm","Gratitude","Comfort","Love","Peace","Presence","Peaceful Moments","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/01/11/its-a-winter-tree-ok.html", "title": "It’s a Winter Tree, Ok?", "content_html": "

\"Winter “My Winter Tree reflecting in the window as the snow falls outside.”

\n

I went to small group last night and the leader apologized as we walked into the family room. The tree was still up.

\n

“It’s a Winter Tree. I like it.” 

\n

You don’t have to sell me, sister! I love my tree and I’m not planning to take it down any time soon. Kathy and one of her granddaughters took all the colored ornaments off her tree and put up all white ornaments. Yeah. No….I’m not that picky. As long as it has all white lights and it’s pretty, that puppy is staying right where it is…no apologies needed.

\n

I was the first to arrive at Bible study. A new gal, Michelle, joined us and arrived just after me. We sat near each other and chatted as I knitted, cozy under a comfy throw in front of the fire. When I told Michelle about the farm and where it was, she said she had family from out that way. I asked what the last name was and she rattled off my grandparents’ last name! Two questions later and I knew exactly where she fit in the family. What a treat to get caught up with that bunch. They were related through one of my Pop-Pop’s brothers. 

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I’d say it is a small world, but it’s the hills of West Virginia. If we aren’t related to you, hang on a little bit. There’s still single folks gettin’ married. This is what I always missed…what I always searched for in Colorado. I can’t tell you how many times I actually followed people with WV license plates just to hear their accents and see if I knew them. Oh, I missed home every day that I lived out west.

\n

When we stay at Mr. FixIt’s house, we are in the county between the one I grew up in and the one where grandma’s farm is located. I don’t know very many people here. Mr. FixIt, however, has lived in his house since 1979. He knows EV-RY-ONE! Seriously. He’ll run into town for a quick errand and come back three hours later because he ran into five people he hadn’t seen in a coon’s age. I can’t get frustrated about it either because it’s the life I’ve always wanted. 

\n

It was a good day. ❤️

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“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”\n

Hebrews 10:24-25 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2019-01-11T02:30:14-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/01/11/its-a-winter-tree-ok.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Hope","West Virginia","The Farm","Gratitude","Comfort","Love","Peace","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/01/09/into-the-light.html", "title": "Into the Light", "content_html": "

\"1 “For He called you out of the darkness into his wonderful light.” 1 Peter 2:9

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I’ve kind of had a theme going here the last few days given the time of year it is. I still sometimes sit in awe when I look back to where I was nearly twenty years ago. This is how we know how far we’ve come…by looking back in wonder. I struggled so long with a spirit of depression. When the veil lifted and I walked back into the light, it was surreal. Supernatural. Which is exactly what it was, this lifting.

\n

I am always consciously monitoring my mental state in the winter. I never, ever want to go back to that dark place again, so I carefully check myself often. Am I keeping up with personal hygiene? It’s one of the first things to slip. Am I sleeping too much? Not enough? How’s my temper? I get cranky when I get blue. Am I comforting myself with food? Am I eating out of boredom? Am I getting out and doing fun things and engaging with people? These are all problem areas and can signal depression.

\n

We had the fourth day in a row of warmth and sunshine yesterday. As a matter of fact, it was 64 late yesterday afternoon. The sun peeked in and out all day. It was glorious. I went out to visit TOW-Wanda. I plugged her in to charge up the batteries. She needs a good cleaning. I had company in there during the wedding and I never really cleaned much after that. One thing that really lifts my mood in the winter is to spend a couple of days in the camper, so I’m getting her fixed up.

\n

Being prepared for the grey days of winter can go a long way in warding off the blues. Keeping healthy foods in the house and limiting sweet snacks helps you make good choices when you want to cozy in with a bag of chips or a plate of brownies. Chilled, fresh oranges are sweet and juicy this time of year. If you really want a salty snack, the tiny bags of popcorn can hit the spot without overloading calories. I don’t want to count calories. I just want to remain mindful of what’s going in. And try to move more.

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Cleaning out a closet or that one junk room you’ve been ignoring can lift your mood and give you a sense of accomplishment. Or, starting a new project. We just started working on the master bathroom this week. It will be fun to see that take shape. Whatever it takes to keep you from hibernating and falling into a deep, blue funk is worth the effort to put towards keeping in the light. ❤️

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“The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.””\n

Deuteronomy 31:8 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2019-01-09T02:30:10-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/01/09/into-the-light.html", "tags": ["Faith","Health","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Positive Energy","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","Wisdom","Courage","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/01/07/january-bluebirds.html", "title": "January Bluebirds", "content_html": "

\"Mountain “Mountain Bluebirds are glorious in January!”

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I don’t know about where you are, but here in West Virginia, the weather has been lovely. We have had three days straight of sunshine and near fifty degrees. When Mr. FixIt and I left church yesterday, we both let out an audible sigh.

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“Ok, this IS a beautiful day, isn’t it?” I love that my sweet husband notices such things and really FEELS them.

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“Yes,” I said. “I can get through a West Virginia winter if I just have a few days like this to lift me up.”

\n

That is one thing about Colorado, besides my wonderful family, that I miss desperately. Plenty of sunshine days in the Rocky Mountains. And there truly is nothing more beautiful than Mountain Bluebirds on the crisp white of snow.

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My friend, Roxanne Morris, is an incredibly talented artist and photographer. She caught these images yesterday and I asked if I could share them with you. They make me smile. Mr. Virgo has brought me bluebirds from the beginning. He knew how much I loved them. I cannot see them without thinking of him. And, since yesterday was my re-birthday, it was only fitting that he send me bluebirds…albeit through my friend’s lens and Facebook. These are COLORADO bluebirds. These are the same as the ones that fly around his grave when I go visit him. 

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\"Mountain “The flash of blue against the crisp, white snow of Colorado makes Mountain Bluebirds a favorite.”

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I marveled all day yesterday at the vast differences in my life now compared to the same day nineteen years ago. I stood in church and sang with great joy and enthusiasm. I held hands with my sweet husband. We enjoyed breakfast together after church. We shared some time at the farm. And we came home to the Ponderosa. I spoke to Daughter #1 and she told me she loves me and misses me. I chatted with Daughter #2 and we shared our love. I received a text from Hubby #2…the one to whom I was married at the time of the overdose. It was a lovely text with pictures of their dogs and he was joyful and there was no mention of the past and my heart filled with love and joy for our healing. And, to top it all off, Mr. Virgo’s beloved Eagles won the wild card game yesterday. So, yeah…he’s happy, too. And still sending me bluebirds. ❤️

\n
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.\n

You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.””

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Jeremiah 29:11, 13-14 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2019-01-07T02:30:28-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/01/07/january-bluebirds.html", "tags": ["Faith","Health","Hope","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Forgiveness","Courage","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/01/05/thwarting-a-spiritual-attack.html", "title": "Thwarting a Spiritual Attack", "content_html": "

\"Psalm “Man says…show me and I’ll trust you. God says…trust me and I’ll show you.” Psalm 126:6

\n

So, I was minding my own business, tucked under my blanket, happily knitting when I got a text . My dear friends Janine and Gail and I have a chat room where we visit just about every day. Janine was traveling through and was stopping at Gail’s to spend the night. I was three hours away but I wasn’t going to miss out on seeing my good friends. Impromptu road trip!

\n

I got here just after dark. Janine had her friend Diane with her and I was thrilled to meet her. Another friend, Jan, came to join us and we just had a grand time. Diane is a devout Christian and is a PR person. Jan is a retired pastor. You can imagine our entire evening was talking about our stories and how God has worked in our lives. 

\n

I was standing in the kitchen giving Diane my testimony about finding Jesus when I started feeling ill. It worsened over the hour and I headed upstairs with a bucket, just in case. Everyone had gone to bed so when I came to Janine’s door I tapped. 

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“Janine?”

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“Yes, dear.” She opened the door wide. Her smile quickly faded when she saw me. “Ginny? What’s wrong?” She came into the hall and touched my arm. 

\n

“Janine, I’m being spiritually attacked!”  I knew it as sure as I knew my own name. I was suddenly, violently ill.

\n

I spent the prior twenty-four hours pretty immersed in Jesus. I watched War Room…a powerful movie about spiritual warfare. Then I came to Gail’s and spent a whole evening talking about very powerful, spiritual things. There were five very strong women engaged in animated spiritual conversation. 

\n

Janine and Diane came into the room and laid hands on me and prayed fervently. Within a half hour, I felt much better. 

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If you don’t believe in such a thing as spiritual warfare, I am here to tell you it’s a very real thing. The enemy does not like when powerful, spiritual women start professing faith like we were. But his power is in whispering lies and making you believe things that are not real. We sent him packing. A whole army of angels surrounded me and kicked his butt! We can just rejoice in that for a while, ok? I believe! ❤️

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“Jesus turned and said to Peter, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns.””\n

Matthew 16:23 NIV

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\n", "date_published": "2019-01-05T02:30:25-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/01/05/thwarting-a-spiritual-attack.html", "tags": ["Faith","Health","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Fear","Forgiveness","Courage","Girl Campers","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/01/02/hope-and-joy.html", "title": "Hope AND Joy!", "content_html": "

\"Paul “The world is changed by your example, not by your opinion.” - Paul Coelho

\n

The other day I said my word for 2019 would be “Joy”. Then I decided it really should be “Hope”. Well, we all know it is a woman’s prerogative to change her mind and I’ve decided to have TWO words this year…Hope AND Joy! No reason I can’t strive for both and they go hand in hand, right?

\n

I was looking through my photos from the last year. I try to use my own photos for my blog but sometimes something comes along that I just need to share. That is the case in today’s meme.

\n

One of the photos I saw yesterday as I was preparing to write this post was one of my sweet Uncle Bud, devoted husband of my Aunt Viv who died the day after Mr. FixIt and I got married. I was so worried about him the last couple of years. As Aunt Viv’s dementia worsened, he got less and less sleep and had absolutely no time to take care of himself. The last two years he also had the added responsibility of caring for his sister…the elderly aunt I originally came to West Virginia to try to help. I really hated that hers and my inability to get along added an extra burden on him, but it couldn’t be helped. She and I were oil and water. Or probably more accurate, gasoline and a match.

\n

Every week, I called my Uncle Bud to see how he was doing. And all too often I suggested perhaps they should seek some sort of alternative to caring for both women in the home, virtually unassisted. And every time, he patiently replied, “We’ll see.” I realized long back, this is not my place to butt in, so I tried to stay out of it. I wasn’t always successful, but I tried.

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When my aunt finally passed, I realized…that was his sweetheart. The love of his life. He took vows that he would love her and care for her in sickness and in health. While no one would have held it against him if he would have placed either of my aunts in a nursing home, this was just not the way he was raised and he has a huge heart. He simply could not do that for his wife. And now, I am sure, he will care for his sister as long as he possibly can.

\n

When I came across a picture of my Uncle Bud yesterday, I had to smile. Here was this 80-something year old man whom I adore, hunched over his brand new smart phone. Apparently, someone felt it was time for him to ditch the old flip phone he’s been using forever and come into 21st century technology. 

\n

I can just imagine what he must think. I remember when I got my first laptop. I brought it to West Virginia to show my grandma. I signed up for AOL specifically so I could use the internet anywhere. I plugged it into her phone line and rang up the dialup modem. After the beeps and boops, up it popped. We sat there for hours looking up stuff. She was intrigued, but I don’t think it really sank in what she was looking at. It was all a mystery to her.

\n

As I head into the new year armed with “HOPE” and “JOY”, I want to remember always that it is my example, not my opinion, that will change the world. It takes a village to change things. And if we all work together, we can raise the collective vibration of the planet to a place of awareness and peace. If we strive to go high when others go low, we can set our sites on a common goal…one of peace and mutual understanding. When we keep God at the center, he equips us with all we need to succeed. This is my prayer…my most fervent hope, in order to find infinite joy! ❤️

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“But after you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who calls you to share his eternal glory in union with Christ, will himself perfect you and give you firmness, strength, and a sure foundation. To him be the power for ever! Amen.”\n

1 Peter 5:10-11 GNB

\n", "date_published": "2019-01-02T02:30:31-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/01/02/hope-and-joy.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Comfort","Grace","Peace","Wisdom","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/01/01/out-with-the-oldin-with.html", "title": "Out With the Old...In With the New", "content_html": "

\"Foggy “It was a foggy, rainy day in West Virginia for the last day of 2018.

\n

My word for last year was “presence”. I think, overall, I did a pretty good job keeping my focus in the here and now. Nothing I can change in the past, and worrying about tomorrow is a complete waste of time. I know the other day I said my word for the New Year was going to be joy, but after giving it a great deal of thought, I decided “HOPE” was far more appropriate. 

\n

Hope is such a gift. I remember the first year after losing Mr. Virgo, I really felt hopeless. I really looked forward to the new year because I could say, “My husband died last year.” As if that sleight of hand would magically make everything better. It didn’t. And I was perplexed that it did not.

\n

Hope. Hope is a gift from God. I have great hope…a seemingly endless supply. I have enough that I will share it by the bucketloads in the coming year. And, when I speak, I will be mindful to instill hope in others through my speech and actions. 

\n

A year is gone, another ushered in to replace it. May this be a year of peace, of love, of good health, and abundant hope. May you always have enough. ❤️

\n
“Even those who are young grow weak; young people can fall exhausted. But those who trust in the LORD for help will find their strength renewed. They will rise on wings like eagles; they will run and not get weary; they will walk and not grow weak.”\n

Isaiah 40:30-31 GNB

\n", "date_published": "2019-01-01T02:30:18-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/01/01/out-with-the-oldin-with.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Courage","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/12/31/saying-goodbye-to.html", "title": "Saying Goodbye to 2018", "content_html": "

\"Mother-daughter “A mother-daughter duo singing worship songs to close out the year.” Photo Credit: The Warehouse Church

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We had a special celebration at church yesterday. Instead of having the kids over in their area, they joined the adults. And, instead of hearing a message from Pastor Justin, we ended the year with an hour of praise music and communion. It was a special treat to see the children of our worship team on stage singing with their parents. This little gal was amazing and it warmed my heart to watch her.

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As the old year fades, we cannot help but look over the last twelve months and review what we have accomplished. It is easy to be critical of what we perceive as mistakes. The woulda-shoulda-coulda’s can creep in, and that really doesn’t serve us well. Looking back with a hopeful heart takes practice.

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I was telling someone yesterday that I was glad to have 2018 over with. But when I really gave that some thought, I realized that’s just wishing your life away. There were some very sad things that happened this year, true. I lost three people I loved very much…all within two months. Their deaths saddened me greatly and I have learned enough about life to know…the greater the love, the deeper the grief. I was blessed to have these three in my life to love and love me back.

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Then, there were all these health problems I had to deal with. They were a major pain, but when I look back I realize I was so blessed to have insurance. I know there are people who can’t afford to see a doctor and let medical issues go till it’s too late. I was blessed with knowledgeable physicians and excellent hospital care. I cannot complain.

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The highlight of my year, of course, was getting married to my best friend. Mr. FixIt is my rock…my life partner…my playmate. My life is so much happier with him in it and I gained a bonus family!

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So, I won’t wish away time. I will remember Aunt Viv, and my cousin Tom, and my “other-mother” Louisa with much love…keeping their memories alive by saying their names. And I will cherish the gifts God gives me daily…love, insurance, health, good doctors, a roof over my head, food on my table, a loving family, and a man who thinks the sun rises at my feet. As I head into the new year, I will tuck this one away with solemn gratitude.

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❤️

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“Praise the LORD, my soul, and do not forget how kind he is.”\n

Psalms 103:2 GNB

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\n", "date_published": "2018-12-31T02:30:50-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/12/31/saying-goodbye-to.html", "tags": ["Faith","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","Peace","Courage","Humbled","Presence","Choices","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/12/28/latkes-for-a-late-hanukkah.html", "title": "Latkes for a Late Hanukkah", "content_html": "
\n\"Latkes\"\n
    “Latkes for a Late Hanukkah!”
\n
\nIn early December, our friend Doug Kreinik makes latkes at an area restaurant and sells them for charity. A couple of my friends and I were lamenting we didn’t get to go to this year’s event so we were feeling latke deprived. I told them...Fear not! I am the Latke Maven! Last night was the night for latkes at the FixIt’s!\n

For those of you who have been around long enough to hear all my stories, you know I was a practicing Jew for 27 years. You don’t live that long submersed in a culture without it becoming a big part of your identity. Hubby #2 was Jewish, and while I didn’t convert for him, it all happened around the same time…dating and discovering Judaism. I became a Christian in 2004, but I relate culturally to the ethnic foods and holidays I celebrated all those years. It’s been a long time since I’ve cooked traditional Jewish dishes and last night was so fun!

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This photo is not my latkes…I chose one from Google images that looks exactly like mine. You wouldn’t think there would be so many ways to make the crispy potato pancakes fried in oil, but there are. Some use packaged shredded hash browns. Some grind the potatoes into a coarse mush. When you squeeze the water out and mix up a batter, the pancakes resemble a regular pancake. Some use a shredding attachment on a food processor. That works well if you are making a ton of latkes for a party. I like to use the old fashioned grater like Grandma used and shred about six good sized peeled red potatoes by hand. I also grate up a medium sized onion. I mix in about 1/8-1/4 cup all purpose flour which serves two purposes…it keeps the shredded potatoes from getting dark and it helps the pancakes hold together. At this point, you can set the potatoes aside to finish a little later.

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I squeezed the excess moisture out of the potatoes and added four eggs lightly beaten and about a cup of Matzah Meal. I like my potato mixture to be think enough to form into thin patties and fry in hot oil till they are golden and crispy on the outside, moist and tender on the inside. Oh, my…they are divine. Some people eat latkes with applesauce on them but I prefer a dollop of sour cream. I made a big pot of Turkey Matzah Ball soup to go with the latkes, and a Cranberry Orange Walnut Bread for dessert. So yummy!

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When we were visiting the FixIt kids the other night, I told them about Hanukkah and they were intrigued so I promised next year we’ll have a Hanukkah party. And maybe a Passover Seder, too! I think it can only benefit kids to be exposed to other cultures and religions and traditions. It makes for a more tolerant society and allows them to be conversant wherever they may go in life. ❤️

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“The time came for the Feast of Dedication at Jerusalem. This was during the winter.”\n

John 10:22 ICB

\n", "date_published": "2018-12-28T02:30:38-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/12/28/latkes-for-a-late-hanukkah.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Fun","Gratitude","Comfort","Holiday","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/12/27/the-story-of-the-traveling.html", "title": "The Story of the Traveling Bowling Shirt", "content_html": "

\"Bowling “The Traveling Bowling Shirt once belonged to Bill T. And…I found him!!!”

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In 1986, Hubby #2 finished his Residency in Internal Medicine and joined a practice in a small mountain town in Colorado. We were thrilled to have that long seven-year stretch behind us and were looking forward to building a life on the Western Slope of Colorado.

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We rented a five bedroom house on two acres just outside of town. With a lease option to purchase, it was the foot in the door we needed to step into home ownership eventually. We were young and happy…in that way you are when you are poor as a church mouse but are too naive to know it. We had to count our pennies in those early years and with a daughter going into seventh grade, we bought our clothes at resale shops.

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There were several really great consignment stores in our area and one of my favorites was a place called Miser’s Mercantile. I went there at least once a week or so to browse through the clothes. A lot of the women from Aspen would bring things in and you could get some great bargains. I once bought a wool coat from Nordstroms for $20! Anyway, I came across this really campy bowling shirt one day and I absolutely had to have it. I wore it a lot over jeans…tied at the waist. When my daughter got old enough to raid my closet, the shirt became hers. I really missed it when she took it with her when she left home and set out in the world. Daughter #1 has been married for twenty-three years. This shirt went with her all the way to Long Island and back to Denver and she still has it.

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Mr. FixIt has been on two bowling leagues for nearly forty years. Last week, I went to his league Christmas parties with him. On Sunday night, a bunch of us were talking about the old bowling shirts embroidered with the Sponsor’s logo on them…your name over the pocket. You don’t see them much anymore. I remembered “the shirt” and I’ve never forgotten the name…Bill T. (I’m only using the first letter of his last name to protect his identity.) Whenever the shirt was worn, we always said a kind word about “Good Ol’ Bill T”. I picked up my phone and did a quick search on Facebook…and, there he was!!! It HAD to be him…he worked in the bowling industry and he lived in Pennsylvania. 

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I sent my daughter a text and asked if she could send me pictures of the bowling shirt. Then I sent them on to Bill T with a note explaining how I came to own the shirt and was this THE Bill T. About an hour later, I received a lovely reply.

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“Hi Ginny, this was my shirt from early/mid 1980s when I bowled in the Berks County Major League at Bowl-O-Rama in Reading, Pa. Crazy that it has survived over 30 years and traveled so far. I kept it for a few years after switching teams in that league and gave the shirt to a special needs bowler when I started working in that center. I am pleased to see that the shirt has brought comfort in some way to you and your family, and glad you reached out to me with the story. Thank you and Merry Christmas to you and yours!”

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It really WAS our Bill T! I told him I felt like I’d known him forever…like he was a member of our family. I told him it was really interesting that the shirt made it all the way to Colorado. It was also interesting that he had given the shirt to someone with special needs. My brother has special needs and has participated in Special Olympics Bowling for over fifty years. AND, the daughter who now owns Bill T’s bowling shirt teaches Special Ed. AND…now I’m married to a life-long bowler and I was writing from the bowing alley!

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Was this all just coincidence? Sort of like throwing dice or casting lots? I don’t think so. I think these sorts of things are God winks. Circles of life that wind round and round. The story of a traveling bowling shirt that has touched the lives of special people, special bowlers, on both sides of the country. I love how God works….even when it’s something as simple as a story that connects people across the miles through a bit of thread, a lot of smiles, and a warm heart. ❤️

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“People throw lots to make a decision. But the answer comes from the Lord.”\n

Proverbs 16:33 ICB

\n", "date_published": "2018-12-27T02:30:47-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/12/27/the-story-of-the-traveling.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Positive Energy","Fun","Gratitude","Comfort","God","Presence"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/12/26/my-hygge-christmas.html", "title": "My Hygge Christmas", "content_html": "

\"Comfort “Mr. FixIt is a good gift giver…exactly what I would have picked out for myself!”

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“Hygge is a Danish and Norwegian word for a mood of coziness and comfortable conviviality with feelings of wellness and contentment.” Wikipedia

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I don’t think I have ever had a more relaxing Christmas Day in my life as I had this year. Mr. FixIt gave me Christmas jammies on Christmas Eve and I never changed out of them yesterday. I ate chocolate cake for breakfast. I knitted all day. I caught up with loved ones on the phone and via chat. Mr. FixIt and I watch movies all day. I ate leftover chili…and chocolate. 

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I was totally pleased with my gifts from my sweetheart. The sweater is the most gorgeous color, style, and fit. The book is something I really wanted. And the travel mugs are lovely. I think he’s setting me up for a winter of comfort! Exactly what I need after a long season of hard work keeping up two big properties. I have some projects to do this winter…writing, home, and business things. So, having this comfort break is just what the doctor ordered!

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There are so many who are missing their loved ones this season. If your heart is screaming “he/she should be here!”…you are not forgotten nor are you alone. My heart is with you…I remember that pain and I pray for comfort for you and yours. ❤️

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“I love the Lord, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy. Because he turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live. The cords of death entangled me, the anguish of the grave came over me; I was overcome by distress and sorrow. Then I called on the name of the Lord: “ Lord, save me!” The Lord is gracious and righteous; our God is full of compassion. The Lord protects the unwary; when I was brought low, he saved me. Return to your rest, my soul, for the Lord has been good to you. For you, Lord, have delivered me from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling, that I may walk before the Lord in the land of the living.”\n

Psalm 116:1-9 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2018-12-26T02:30:40-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/12/26/my-hygge-christmas.html", "tags": ["Grief","Hope","Fun","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Love","Peace","Presence","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/12/24/christmas-a-season-of-healing.html", "title": "Christmas: A Season of Healing", "content_html": "

\"Santa “My Santa and Mrs. Claus”

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Dear Santa,

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This is the sixth Christmas without my Mr. Virgo. I know you remember the day I sat beside you in your great big comfy chair. It was that first awful Christmas after he died. I was crying and you saw me standing there alone. And that great big heart of yours was so soft…you moved over to make room for me and patted the seat, letting me know I should come sit for a while. 

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I was crying…trying so hard to regain my composure. You waited patiently for me to gather my wits about me. Finally, I leaned towards you. You leaned in to hear. “My husband died. I need a new heart.” I could almost hear your heart breaking for me. You put your arm around my shoulders and whispered back. “I’m so sorry.” Your voice was thick with emotion. You patted my back as my shoulders shook with sobs. 

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It wasn’t long till I got it together. I apologized for being such a mess. You said, “Nonsense. You’re perfect!” As I prepared to leave, you asked, “Won’t you have your picture taken with me?” My heart skipped a beat and for just a moment…a fleeting moment, I felt the joy of childhood as I nodded yes.

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We took a photo, you and I…and we were bonded in that moment. I’ve written to you every year since that December day in 2013. I’ve related my progress as I’ve navigated this grief journey…my ups and downs. My successes and the stumbles. And here it is…2018…and have I got news for you!

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I got married!!! Yes…it’s true! I came back to West Virginia two years ago. Along the way, I ran into my best guy pal from high school and, well…the rest is history! We were married in a field at his home. We were married by our lifelong friend…a pastor. And, Santa…he such a good man, my Mr. FixIt. We are two peas in a pod. He goes to church with me every Sunday. It is the first time I have been equally yoked in a marriage and it is amazing!

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I just wanted to let you know I’m doing well. I still have moments where I experience grief. I always will…it is the price you pay for great love. I continue my mission of writing here and reaching others who are on the same journey. Thank you for being there for me that sad, sad day. Thank you for being my cheerleader. And thank you again…from the very bottom of my heart…for being real and asking Jesus to bring me a new heart. ❤️

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“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”\n

Psalm 147:3 NIV

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\n", "date_published": "2018-12-24T02:30:33-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/12/24/christmas-a-season-of-healing.html", "tags": ["Faith","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","Peace","Holiday","Courage","Be Joyful!","Marriage","Uncategorized"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/12/22/the-griswald-family-christmas.html", "title": "The “Griswald” Family Christmas", "content_html": "

\"Cinnamon “Making Cinnamon Rolls in the kitchen at The Ponderosa.”

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Not having things done ahead of time made for a rather long and hectic day yesterday. I didn’t even start wrapping presents till noon and the family started arriving around 4:00! But hey, I made three dozen pepperoni rolls, two dozen cinnamon rolls, and two huge pots of chili. We had a table full of snacks when they got there…chips and queso, cheese and crackers, nuts, and Rolo pretzel cookies. When they left last night there was a small container of chili and six cinnamon rolls. It was tons of fun and we had a great time. 

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I used a different recipe for the cinnamon rolls this year. I couldn’t find my favorite cookbook with the blue ribbon recipes in it. This one come from Divas Can Cook. They were pretty darned good. The only thing was, I have these new pans and two fit on one rack in the stove. I didn’t even consider how close they were together and heat could not circulate around them…therefore, the bottoms burned. It didn’t stop people from gobbling them up, though! Filled with so much yummy goodness…I added toasted pecans and raisins to these before I rolled them up. 

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\"Cinnamon “Cinnamon Rolls…fresh from the oven!

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The only thing we have to do today is church services this evening so I’m looking forward to a relaxing day of knitting and Christmas movies! What’s on your agenda? ?

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https://divascancook.com/fluffy-homemade-cinnamon-rolls-recipe/

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““Take the finest flour and bake twelve loaves of bread, using two-tenths of an ephah for each loaf.”\n

Leviticus 24:5 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2018-12-21T22:20:02-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/12/22/the-griswald-family-christmas.html", "tags": ["Family","Fun","Comfort"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/12/20/winter-wonderland.html", "title": "Winter Wonderland", "content_html": "

\"Gingerbread “My favorite entry in the Gingerbread competition at The Blennerhassett Hotel…three little gnome houses on “stump” cakes!”

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One of my favorite places in my hometown is The Blennerhassett Hotel. It is the finest hotel and restaurant in town and I have had the pleasure of visiting it many times. It’s the place where my gal pals from my high school class gather for coffee. It’s where they have the parade of trees.  Then the gingerbread houses. I marvel at both. The innovative ideas for the Christmas trees always leaves me smiling at all the creativity. And the gingerbread houses are just flat out amazing. This year, my favorite was the one with three little gnome houses on tree stump cakes. Camping was a big theme, as well. 

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\"Camper “Camper Gingerbread House…SO cute!”

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The Blennerhassett is where our High School Reunions meet on the second night. It’s where I sought refuge in February 2015 when I was living in my camper high over the banks of the Ohio River. The temperature got down to -25 wind chill, my refrigerator stopped working and all my food was ruined. I went to The Blennerhassett and took fifteen bubble baths in two days and came back refreshed and ready to face the rest of the winter. There is often live music in the bar on Friday nights. And there is a Farmers Market one day a week in the summers. It is truly one of my favorite places.

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\"Gingerbread “Camping at Christmas Ginerbread House”

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This year, Mr. FixIt and I were downtown paying a bill and ended up wandering into the hotel to walk around and marvel at the exquisite gingerbread houses. There is a competition and the prizes are the big rosette ribbons like the ones I earned when I baked competitively in Colorado. There is also a People’s Choice Award.

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\"Gingerbread “Another little camper gingerbread house!”

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Yesterday, I made about 12 dozen Rolo Pretzel Cookies and knitted dishcloths. We cleaned in preparation for the big family gathering Friday night. Tonight is the Thursday night bowling league Christmas party so we’ll be making beef noodles to take. I’m baking a Hummingbird Cake today. And, I’m going to bake up a big batch of Pepperoni Rolls…West Virginia’s state food! So, watch for pics and recipes tomorrow! ❤️

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“Then Jesus declared, “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.”\n

John 6:35 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2018-12-20T02:30:59-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/12/20/winter-wonderland.html", "tags": ["Family","Camping","Fun","Comfort","Peace","Holiday","Art"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/12/18/say-i-love-you-with.html", "title": "Say “I Love You” With a Little Yarn \u0026 a Lotta Love", "content_html": "

\"Knitted “Hand knitted dishcloth with the ASL sign for “I Love You” in the pattern.”

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 Yesterday’s post had me thinking about quick, last minute gifts for the holidays. I was in town Sunday afternoon so I stopped at Walmart and picked up some cotton yarn. Those cute patterns for dishcloths had me thinking I’d like to whip up some. 

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Mr. FixIt had to go to town yesterday to help a friend build something and do a little Christmas shopping. I elected to stay home. I asked Alexa to play “Soft Christmas Music”, turned up the stove in the family room, grabbed a cup of coffee, and curled up by the tree. I pulled up the fox fur blanket that I had made from the coat Mr. Virgo gave me years ago. And I set to knitting. 

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In the comments on yesterday’s post, my friend Jamie told me someone made her a dishcloth with the ASL symbol for “I Love You” knitted into it. I asked for the pattern and her friend sent the link. I still have the remnants of grief brain so I had to really concentrate on the pattern. I had to take out a row every now and then when I couldn’t remember where I was in the pattern. But before too long, I had one finished! I’ve started a second dishcloth from one of the pattern in the link I included yesterday.

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The other day, Daughter #2 called and said she missed my cooking. I asked her what dish she loved the most. Turkey Tetrawhatzit…my version of Turkey Tetrazzini. So, before Mr. FixIt got home, I put some of the frozen turkey from Thanksgiving in a pot with a little water and simmered it till I could shred the meat with a fork. In an electric skillet, I sautéed half an onion, some sliced mushrooms and celery in a little butter. I added a drained can of mixed veggies. When the turkey was shredded, I tossed it in the skillet with about a pint of the drippings from the pan I roasted the turkey in. While that simmered, I cooked some egg noodles. I mixed up some flour in some of the broth and thickened the turkey mixture, stirred in a cup of sour cream, and brought it just to a simmer then added the drained cooked noodles. Topped with a little shredded Parmesan and…voila! Turkey Tetrawhatzit! Comfort food at it’s best…and it made me think of my daughter. Mr. FixIt said…”Send her a picture!” I did…then called her so she could “join us for dinner!”

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It was a lovely day…peaceful, comforting, homey, warm with a big dash of “I Love You!” ❤️

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“Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.”\n

Psalms 23:6 ESV

\n", "date_published": "2018-12-18T02:30:47-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/12/18/say-i-love-you-with.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Prayer","Hope","Positive Energy","Fun","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Holiday","Wisdom","Humbled","Art"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/12/16/the-pleasure-of-needlearts.html", "title": "The Pleasure of Needlearts", "content_html": "

\"Vintage “A lovely display of vintage hotpads and dishcloths.” Photo Credit: Pinterest

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Staying out at the farm brings out the nostalgia in me. My grandma didn’t have fancy things. And when she sewed, her aim was function, not fashion. She mended sheets, shirts, and work pants. She often used old blankets, and even old quilts, as the batting for new ones. She sandwiched the old between fabric if she had the money…sheets if she didn’t. Then she tied them with colorful yarn or perle cotton every few inches. I found a pair of knitting needles and some yarn in her work basket but she said she had never mastered the craft.

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Every once in a while, someone would give Grandma a pretty little handmade potholder like the ones in this picture. She hung them on the fridge with a magnet and never used them…they were too pretty. She also had hand-knit dishcloths. Those she used. And I love them! When I first really picked up knitting, I practiced by making dishcloths. They are soft and absorbent and you can have a simple one made up in an hour. They make lovely hostess gifts at the holidays. Here is a page with twelve easy dishcloth patterns. I use a cotton yarn called Sugar and Cream for my dishcloths. ❤️

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“As soon as he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.”\n

1 Samuel 18:1 ESV

\nhttps://www.allfreeknitting.com/Dish/Learn-How-To-Knit-With-a-Knit-Dishcloth-Pattern-Patterns-For-Beginners

\n", "date_published": "2018-12-16T02:30:08-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/12/16/the-pleasure-of-needlearts.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Fun","West Virginia","The Farm","Comfort","Love","Peace","Presence","Art"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/12/15/the-farm-sharing-my-happy.html", "title": "The Farm: Sharing My Happy Place", "content_html": "

\"Handknit “I knitted this little beaded evening bag many years ago.”

\n

There is only one thing better than spending time at the farm. Spending time at the farm with Mr. FixIt! I asked him Thursday if we could go out for a couple of days and he is such a sweetie. We don’t quite have the amenities at the farm that we have at the house, but he’s a real sport. Usually we pack enough stuff for a month-long safari, but we’re getting better at it. Dinner was Hamburger Macaroni (SO simple…brown 1# hamburger with a med. onion chopped, stir in a can of fire-roasted diced tomatoes and a can of drained corn, add a few cups of cooked elbow macaroni and a couple slices of Colby cheese, a little red pepper flakes, garlic salt, pepper, and oregano…stir and serve. Comfort food when served with homemade peanut butter cookies! Yummmmmm!

\n

I was going through some of the things I saved and brought with me from Colorado. I chatted with my knitting buddy, Gail, yesterday. I told her about a little purse I knitted many years ago. When I was going through a box, I ran across this pretty little beaded bag. I remember the day I went to the Convention Center in downtown Denver for a bead show. There was a lady from Evergreen selling reproduction silver plated purse handles, Japanese silk, seed beads, tiny little double-point needles, and patterns for the most darling little evening bags. I bought enough supplies to make four.

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This was the first one I made. It was tedious to make, I will not lie. To start with, you have to transfer all these little beads to the silk. The beads come on something called a hank. It’s several strands of beads in a loop, and the ends of the threads are all tied together in a knot. Each loop had to be very carefully removed from the hank without dropping one end. If you drop it, alllllllll the beads slip off and go everywhere. Don’t ask me how I know that. ?

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When you slide the beads from the thread to the silk, you sometimes find a bead whose hole is too small for the silk. In that case, you take a pair of pliers and gently squeeze the bead till it breaks. You have to be careful because the sharp edge of a broken bead can cut the silk, then you’re in a serious mess. Strand after strand, you slide and pull them along till you have the required number of beads on the silk thread. Once the beads have been threaded on, you wrap them around and around the ball of silk ill you get back to the beginning. You have to stop and unroll this often and slip the beads further down the thread so you have room to knit. Did I tell you it was tedious?

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I made this one and another just like it for my cousin’s daughter. She was born with cancer in her spine and had major surgery and treatment as a very young child. When she turned sixteen, I made her the little bag to carry to her first formal. I have enough to make two white purses…one for each of my daughters. The intent was to give each their purse for their weddings. The oldest has been married since 1995. Her purse isn’t finished yet. Did I tell you they are quite tedious to make? I thought I did.

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I love having this. I used to display it in a curio cabinet that now sits in Colorado waiting for me to bring it here one day. Maybe next summer I will tote it home. In the meantime, it sits on the dresser in our room and I pick it up every now and again, just to remember I once did very tedious work. ❤️

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“as it is written: “The one who gathered much did not have too much, and the one who gathered little did not have too little.””\n

2 Corinthians 8:15 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2018-12-15T02:30:12-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/12/15/the-farm-sharing-my-happy.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","Fun","West Virginia","Gratitude","Comfort","Art"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/12/12/feel-your-feels.html", "title": "Feel Your Feels", "content_html": "

\"Christmas “These are some of my favorite Christmas memories.”

\n

 As I sit and write this post, Mr. FixIt is in town helping his daughter with something and I am getting ready to address Christmas cards while listening to carols on Pandora. I just had my coffee and a couple of the Oatmeal Raisin Cookies I made yesterday. Another heavy hoar frost has the branches of the forsythia decorated with fuzzy white crystal fingers outside the window where I am perched. The mechanical angel on top of the tree is gently moving her wings and arms as she nods her head slowly. It’s a peaceful scene here on the Ponderosa.

\n

As I was baking my grandma’s Oatmeal Raisin Cookies Monday, I was reminiscing about Christmases spent out on the farm. Grandma seldom had any extras around because money was always tight living off the land. But, as Christmas approached, you could be sure to find certain special treats brought home from the Five & Dime in Harrisville in small brown paper sacks.

\n

I especially remember the Christmas candies Grandma always set out in a special glass dish. Ruffled ribbons, chocolate straws, peppermint sticks…all conjure up the warmth of my grandma’s house at Christmas. 

\n

My Uncle Bob had a developmental disability and lived at home all his life. Every Christmas, Bob would walk back on the hill with Grandma and select a tree to drag back down to the house. They were sparse little Charlie Brown trees. I thought they were kind of sad and pitiful back then because ours was always a big, full tree we selected from the lot down at the Shopping Center. Looking back with 65-year-old eyes, I’d give anything to go back and see the ornaments and sweetness of my childhood Christmases on the farm.

\n

Mr. FixIt and I have an artificial tree. He purchased it for me the first Christmas we were dating. I was in Colorado and he was walking around the mall when he saw Sears had their trees marked down drastically. He called and asked if I wanted one. He sent several photos and I selected a slim tree with feathered tips on the needles that make them look frosted. It’s prelit with white lights. No twinkling for me. And no colors. I like white light…and lots of it in the wintertime. It helps with my winter blues.

\n

Keeping these memories alive helps comfort me in times of great loss. When I conjure up images of my grandma, my mom, my cousin, my aunt, my other mother…it reminds me while they are away from me physically, I have them with me always in my heart. Christmas isn’t always a happy occasion when you are actively grieving. Holding the memories close can help ease that pain and gives you the outlet you need to process your grief. Feel your feels, I always say. ❤️

\n
“My people will live in peaceful dwelling places, in secure homes, in undisturbed places of rest.”\n

Isaiah 32:18 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2018-12-12T02:30:17-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/12/12/feel-your-feels.html", "tags": ["Family","Positive Energy","Fun","West Virginia","Gratitude","Comfort","Love","Peace","Holiday","Presence"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/12/11/kitchen-comforts.html", "title": "Kitchen Comforts", "content_html": "

\"Roses\" “Mr. FixIt brought me roses.”

\n

When I’m struggling with grief, a day in the kitchen does wonders for me. Mr. FixIt knew I hadn’t slept well the last couple of nights since learning the sad news of Miss Louisa passing away, so he was gracious and let me sleep in as long as I wanted to yesterday. I must say, when I awoke around 11:00, I did feel much better. I padded into the kitchen to make my coffee and greet my sweet man in the family room…steaming mug in hand.

\n

I snuggled into the loveseat and wrapped my blue fox blanket around me. The Christmas tree was decorated and standing to my left in front of the big picture windows. The gas stove was cranked up and putting off some decent heat. The heavy frost still laid white on the grass and trees in my view. And, amazingly, the forsythia had several bright yellow blooms on them casting a stark contrast to the grey palette of December.

\n

I sipped my coffee while Mr. FixIt read the paper. The TV droned quietly in the background…some fourteen year old was answering questions on a game show. I tuned it out as I stared at the decorations on the tree and took inventory of my feelings. The pain I felt when I heard the news of yet another loss was easing a little and shifting to the lonesomeness of not being able to pick up the phone and call whenever I want. It is familiar turf for me.

\n

After a while, I sighed and went into the bedroom to dress. Mr. FixIt put on his insulated coveralls and went outside to work a while. I carried my second cup to the living room and sat down to knit on a pair of socks. I texted my friend Gail who is touring Europe to see how she is doing. My friend Janine sent me a text to remind me she was going live at 3:00CST. I put my phone away and turned Pandora to “Traditional Christmas.” I spent the next hour or so in quiet meditation, my hands wrapping the wool yarn around the needles with the muscle memory of a skill I learned in my youth.

\n

I decided to mix up a batch of oatmeal raisin cookies and was pulling the last batch from the oven as Mr. FixIt came in from the cold. I turned on the kettle and he had a nice cup of tea as he ate a cookie, still warm from the oven. He watched me move around the kitchen, cleaning up the bowls and baking pans. I sensed his eyes on me. This is the relationship we delight in. I looked up from wiping the counter and he smiled.

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“You treat me so well.”

\n

I smiled back. A knowing smile. An appreciative smile. This is the part of him that is like Mr. Virgo. He loves and appreciates me and is quick to tell me. I love that. 

\n

“I like spoiling you,” I grinned. He laughed, gave me a little pat as he tucked his mug in the kitchen sink. He pulled up his coveralls and went back outside. I watched him as he walked out the door. How can a coverall make a man look that sexy? I smiled as I tucked the towel in the door handle of the oven and turned out the light. I had another hour to knit before I started supper.

\n

When I was at the farm the other night, I brought home a pot roast from the freezer. When it was thawed, I cut it in cubes. I put about a cup of flour in a gallon ziplock bag with some salt and pepper and dropped in the cubed roast. I tossed the meat in the flour, rubbing the pieces through the bag to ensure they were well coated then dropped them into a hot skillet with a little oil in it. When the meat had been seared on all sides, I removed it and put it in my electric pressure cooker. I put in a can of beef broth and a can of water, replaced the lid and pressure cooked the roast for 55 minutes. Once it was finished, I let it cool for about twenty minutes without releasing the pressure. I released the pressure carefully and removed the lid. The meat bubbled in a nice thickened gravy and smelled divine. I poured the meat and gravy out into a large storage container and set it on the counter. When it was cool enough, I popped it in the fridge to be used during the week for meals and sandwiches.

\n

Yesterday, I cooked up half a bag of egg noodles. I took out half the meat and gravy and placed it in a saucepan on low heat to warm up. I sautéed a whole package of sliced mushrooms in two tablespoons of butter. Everything was ready at the same time so I drained the pasta, and put it back in the pan, poured the beef and gravy in with the sautéed mushrooms and added 3/4 cup of sour cream. I gave it a quick stir and called Mr. FixIt to the table for supper.

\n

A day like that is soothing to the spirit. It reminded me that, while I miss those I have lost, I have skills in place that I did not have when I lost Mr. Virgo. It is not lost on me that I have the added blessing of this sweet man to be my companion and helpmate to love and support me as I navigate the losses. I kind of feel like I’m cheating…I don’t have to grieve alone like I did when I became a widow. That kind of grief is so much harder than this. I am grateful. ❤️

\n
“‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.””\n

Revelation 21:4 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2018-12-11T02:30:08-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/12/11/kitchen-comforts.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Presence","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/12/10/two-angels.html", "title": "Two Angels", "content_html": "

\"Wedding\" “Miss Louisa looks on as Mr. Virgo hugs me at our wedding. She loved being the honorary mom.”

\n

I contacted the photographer who shot Mr. Virgo’s and my wedding. I knew there would be many beautiful photos of my “other mother”, Miss Louisa. Marcia was wonderful. Although I offered to pay her for copies, she sent me a link to a digital folder with instructions to download the photos to use however I wish. I was busy all day yesterday with church and a trip to the mall to watch our little great granddaughter scream on Santa’s lap. I went to the farm while Mr. FixIt bowled. When I got home, I finally had time to sit down and view the photos.

\n

I was scrolling through them…remembering the day. How proud Louisa was to be my honorary mom. It was cool but the sun held the promise of spring and we were married out on the deck overlooking beautiful Mt. Sopris and the Roaring Fork River. I came to this photograph and my heart squeezed. Two angels. 

\n

Just then, Mr. FixIt called from the driveway and asked me to come open the door because he had his hands full. As I opened the door, he handed me a bouquet of roses. 

\n

“Here, baby…you’ve had a really hard week.”

\n

I smiled, gave him a hug and went to get the Mikasa crystal vase for the flowers as he took off his coat. Suddenly, it all hit me. I was trimming the ends of the stems, silent tears coming down my cheeks. I had my back to him, but he knew. He came in the kitchen and, concern in his voice said, “Are you ok?”

\n

I’ve never cried in front of Mr. FixIt. I cried in front of Mr. Virgo once. He gave me a look like, “Really? We’re doing THIS?” I stopped immediately and never did it again. It’s not that he wasn’t empathetic…he just didn’t emote much. Mr. FixIt is much the same as me on the emotion scale. It’s comforting knowing I can emote freely. Anyway, he wrapped me up in his arms and would have stood there in the kitchen all night hugging me if that’s what I needed.

\n

I knew the day would come when I would lose Louisa. We almost lost her nine years ago when she became very ill. They didn’t expect her to live through the night but she was a fighter. I knew when she died I would feel the same pain I felt when I lost my own mother. And that’s exactly the case. Anyone who got to know her and be close to her were blessed indeed. I got fifteen years with her in my life. I’m one of the lucky ones. ❤️

\n
“Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children,”\n

Titus 2:4 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2018-12-10T02:30:27-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/12/10/two-angels.html", "tags": ["Family","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Comfort","Grace","Love"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/12/03/plantarpalmar-psoriasis-a-conundrum.html", "title": "Plantar-Palmar Psoriasis: A Conundrum", "content_html": "

\"Healing “The difference CBD Ointment made after just two weeks of use is absolutely remarkable!”

\n

Refresher:

\n

After Mr. Virgo died, I developed an autoimmune disorder. It took three years to diagnose what was happening to my skin. As you can see in the photo on the left, my skin thickened, dried, split, and peeled. Then it started all over again. Cycle after cycle. My feet were just as bad. Occasionally it would appear on my elbows or on random spots on my legs. Much mostly just the palms of my hands and soles of my feet. It got so bad that I had to wrap my feet with duct tape to keep them from splitting open. I went through thousands of bandaids as I had to keep my fingers wrapped constantly…for comfort and also out of embarrassment.

\n

I went to doctor after doctor. I used every over the counter product there was available. I went through dozens of tubes of expensive medications. Nothing worked. Finally, my doctor found the correct diagnosis…Plantar Palmar Psoriasis. Still, the medications for it didn’t work. The next thing to try was systemic steroids or one of the new, strong drugs for psoriasis. They also talked about doing light therapy. I was not happy with either scenario.

\n

I was in Colorado visiting, and a friend saw my hands. She suggested I go to a marijuana dispensary to see if they had something to offer. I did, after much contemplation. I didn’t want the psychoactive effects of marijuana but I would do just about anything for relief. This had become debilitating. I showed them my hands and they recommended an ointment. It cost $50 for a small jar. One jar lasts about 1-2 months, depending how often I have to use it. 

\n

The difference between the photo on the left and the photo on the right is two weeks. Two weeks! I had been struggling for three years and cannabis fixed it in two weeks. Now, this is not legal in West Virginia, so I can only use CBD ointment…the kind without THC. THC is the psychoactive ingredient in marijuana. As it turned out, when I used the ointment with the THC, I only felt very mild effects the very first time I used it. After that, I felt nothing. Using CBD without THC is a no brainer. It couldn’t get you high if you ate it straight out of the jar.

\n

Last year, I was in Fruth Pharmacy in Mineral Wells getting something and noticed a case up front with CBD oils and ointments in it. I was thrilled to know that I could replenish my supply of ointment locally and not have to order it over the internet. I went in yesterday as my little jar is almost empty. The case was gone! I asked what happened and the clerk said they had to get rid of it. I asked who told them they had to get rid of it. The answer? The government. 

\n

Yes. These are the same people who say I have to be carded at the age of 65 when I buy non-alcohol beer but a 12 year old can buy Listerine which is 54 Proof. I don’t understand. It’s ridiculous. I am not asking for opioids. I am not seeking a high. I am not looking to used anything that is addictive. All I want is CBD ointment or oil. Cannabidiol. Look at these photos. If this isn’t photographic evidence of the efficacy of cannabis in the treatment of psoriasis, I don’t know what is. God made all the plants of the field. ALL of the plants. Some plants are poisonous…but this plant offers healing when used properly and it should be made available everywhere.

\n

❤️

\n
“Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well.”\n

3 John 1:2 NIV

\nDisclaimer: Remember, I am not a doctor and I cannot give medical advice  I’m just telling you what worked for me. I can’t be responsible for what may or may not occur if you choose to follow my example. I showed my doctors and they were stunned.

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2018-12-03T02:30:01-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/12/03/plantarpalmar-psoriasis-a-conundrum.html", "tags": ["Health","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","New Ideas","Gratitude","Comfort","Wisdom","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/12/01/grandma-lois-very-best-chocolate.html", "title": "Grandma Lois’ Very Best Chocolate Cake", "content_html": "

\"Homemade “Homemade chocolate cake…Grandma Lois’ recipe.”

\n

My son-in-law’s Grandma is one of the sweetest and feistiest women I know. Grandma Lois is 90 and now lives in a nursing home. But up to just a few years ago, she drove herself around in her little Ford and assisted in a grade school classroom several days a week.

\n

Grandma Lois and Grandpa Bud had an upholstery business. She was always a hardworking woman. She didn’t stop working when her husband passed suddenly. She’s the matriarch of a wonderful, salt-of-the-earth family. I tell people when Daughter #1 got married, she won the lottery with these wonderful people.

\n

Grandma was a member of a womens’ social club. One gathering had everyone bring their favorite recipe on a card to exchange. This is the recipe she received that day. My son-in-law LOVES chocolate cake and this is the family’s go-to chocolate cake for special occasions. I took this one with me to my cousin’s for Thanksgiving and I’ve had many requests for the recipe. I always check with the source before I share old family recipes and they were happy to let more people enjoy this yummy cake.

\n

I’ll make another one to serve for drop-in company here at the Ponderosa. Hope you enjoy it!

\n

Favorite Chocolate Cake

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3 cups flour

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2 cups sugar

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2 tsp. Baking soda

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1/2 tsp. Salt

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1/4 to 1/2 cup cocoa

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 Sift together the above then add - 

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2 eggs

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1 cup Wesson Oil 

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2 T. Mayo

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3 tsp. Vanilla

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1 cup sour milk (add 2 T. Vinegar to milk & let sit 5 min.)

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 OR you can use one cup buttermilk instead

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1 cup boiling water

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Put all ingredients in bowl; put boiling water in last. Beat 2 minutes or so.

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Bake in 350 degree oven for 30 minutes or until a toothpick inserted comes out clean.

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Let cool in pan for 10 minutes then tip out on a cake rack to cool. Slice “domed” top from each layer before frosting with your favorite icing. 

\n

Makes two good sized layers.

\n

If making cupcakes, bake for 20 minutes.

\n❤️\n
“Then he gave a loaf of bread, a cake of dates and a cake of raisins to each Israelite man and woman.”\n

1 Chronicles 16:3 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2018-12-01T02:30:46-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/12/01/grandma-lois-very-best-chocolate.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Positive Energy","Fun","Comfort","Love","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/11/30/buckwheat-flapjacks-bacon.html", "title": "Buckwheat Flapjacks \u0026 Bacon", "content_html": "

\"“Buckwheat “Buckwheat Flapjacks & Bacon”

\n

Twice a year, Spring and Fall, I go camping with the girls at Beaver Creek State Park near Liverpool, Ohio. It’s a Mister/Sister trip so we can bring our beaus if we’ve got ‘em. I usually go for a couple days alone so I can gab with the girls and drink coffee all day in my jammies. Then Mr. FixIt comes up and joins us. Much of the time, it’s him and about 15-20 women. He is in his element, let me tell you! He can gab with the best of them.

\n

\"Old “The old mill at Beaver Creek State Park near Liverpool, Ohio”

\n

One of my favorite parts of Beaver Creek is the Pioneer Village. We’ve been there twice now for the Civil War Re-enactment and we walk around the village and look at the old buildings. There is a large grist mill that has been renovated. Several times a year, The mill trace is filled with water and the wheel at Gaston’s Mill turns and grinds corn meal as well as whole wheat and buckwheat flour.

\n

\"Refurbished “The refurbished Gaston’s Mill”

\n

When I was a little girl, my dad would make buckwheat flapjacks. In our house, if you made them out of flour, they were pancakes. If you made them out of corn meal they were corn cakes or hoe cakes. You’ll normally see them just called Buckwheat Pancakes. I didn’t really like my dad’s flapjacks. They tasted bitter to me, so all my life I’ve said I didn’t like them. When Gaston’s Mill runs, the flour and meal sell out quickly. I was thrilled the last time we were there to find the refrigerator full of one and three pound bags. I stocked up and at the last minute, decided to try the buckwheat flour.

\n

\"Gaston’s “Gaston’s Mill at Christmas”

\n

My friend Gail is the camphost at Beaver Creek. I texted her Tuesday and asked her what recipe she uses for her buckwheat. She sent me the link and I made a batch Tuesday morning. Oh…Em…Geeeee! They were SO good. Not bitter at all. My new favorites, even though it’s a pretty complex recipe compared to box mix.

\n

\"Camper\" “Camping with TOW-Wanda and the Girl Campers at Beaver Creek State Park”

\n

Since this is cozy, comfort food season…get out your fleecy jammies and whip up a batch of these. They are rich and hearty so you don’t need anything else but a couple slices of crispy bacon and plenty of hot coffee! Enjoy! ❤️

\n

https://www.simplyrecipes.com/recipes/buckwheat_pancakes/

\n
“He gives food to every creature. His love endures forever.”\n

Psalm 136:25 NIV

\n 

\n", "date_published": "2018-11-30T02:30:30-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/11/30/buckwheat-flapjacks-bacon.html", "tags": ["Family","TOW-Wanda!","Fun","West Virginia","Gratitude","Comfort","Girl Campers"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/11/27/its-beginning-to-look-a.html", "title": "It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas", "content_html": "

\"Vintage “My favorite ornament from childhood.”

\n

I heard a mother comforting her child once. The little one was crying about something that had happened earlier. The mother said, “Oh…are you remembering how you were sad earlier?” I loved that. She wasn’t dismissing the child’s feelings and at the same time, she was teaching her “It’s not happening to you now. It’s just a memory.”

\n

As we were decorating the tree yesterday, I was hanging the special ornaments Mr. Virgo and I purchased together. I felt a melancholy come over me. And, as this is what I do, I examined the feelings and let myself feel them. Then I remembered the mother comforting her child and I smiled. The melancholy I felt wasn’t sadness in the moment. It was holding the items we cherished and remembering how sad that first Christmas was after he died.

\n

Grief is quicksilver. It rolls around and shape shifts through time. And, once you get to a certain point, the weight shifts forward. It doesn’t drag you back so hard. When I first started to notice that pattern shift, I didn’t trust it. I’d had far too many instances of stepping on the rake in the tall grass. Once I experienced this new space where grief stays put…at least most of the time…I could start living again and looking forward.

\n

This ornament was my favorite as a little girl. I have several of my mom’s ornaments and I think of the little house on the corner where we lived. I think of the farmhouse where we spent Christmas morning with my grandparents just once or twice that I can remember. We’ll go out to the farm this week and decorate and stay a few days, I think. I don’t dread Christmas anymore. I never understood my great grandfather when he would say, “It’ll stop hurting when the pain goes away.” I always thought that was just a silly thing he said. But, in the context of grief, it makes perfect sense. It DOES stop hurting when the pain goes away. ❤️

\n
“...The minute I said, “I’m slipping, I’m falling,” your love, GOD, took hold and held me fast. When I was upset and beside myself, you calmed me down and cheered me up.”\n

Psalm 94:16-19 MSG

\n 

\n", "date_published": "2018-11-27T02:30:19-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/11/27/its-beginning-to-look-a.html", "tags": ["Faith","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Peace","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/11/20/driving-down-the-road.html", "title": "Driving Down the Road", "content_html": "

\"Country “Country roads…take me home!”

\n

Remember this summer when I shared the pictures of how terrible the road was out to the farm? The compressor station back behind the farm is finished. No more heavy trucks hauling super heavy loads out the road and back. It was a long year. They started building the road out to the station site this time last year.

\n

The road had gotten so bad I was really afraid I was going to blow a tire or break an axle or, at the very least, knock my truck out of alignment. I just had to drive really slow and try to dodge the worst parts or come to a complete stop if there was oncoming traffic.

\n

I was told by multiple sources that our road would not be fixed until the routine paving time came up on the schedule. I was also told the county did not negotiate road repairs into the contract with the company building the compressor station. Essentially, I figured good, hard working, lower income West Virginians would get screwed again.

\n

In late summer, a local company came in and cut out large rectangles of mangled asphalt and rebuilt the base. But, they didn’t put anything on top so it was no time before these big rocky rectangles became just as bad as the road was before. Pretty soon, someone else came in and blacktopped over those messy rocky rectangles and I thought, “Good! At least there aren’t deep holes anymore. I can live with this.”

\n

While we were gone on our honeymoon, my cousin’s wife, Charlotte called to give me an update on the kitties. Then she said, “Wait till you see what they’re doing to the road! You won’t believe it!” I rolled my eyes. What now? “They’re paving it!!!”

\n

Sure enough, each time I’ve gone out since the wedding, a little more and a little more was blacktopped and things were finally improving. I went out yesterday and they are not only finished…the lines have been painted and a very nice shoulder has been laid down. If I could have done a jig, I would have…but I was driving.

\n

I didn’t have to yell and scream at a meeting. I didn’t get upset other than grumble under my breath and complain to you all a little bit. I didn’t have to write letters or threaten law suits. I just talked to God whenever I drove over that wretched road and said, “Lord, please place it on the hearts of the people responsible for making this mess to come back here and make it right. This isn’t fair to all these people out this little old road. They work hard and most of them don’t have much. Please make this right.” I have no idea who actually ended up getting this job done, but I am grateful for a good, solid road going out to the farm now. 

\n

Prayer works. Even in the most ordinary things. ❤️

\n
“The end of a matter is better than its beginning, and patience is better than pride. Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools.”  Ecclesiastes 7:8-9 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2018-11-20T02:30:21-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/11/20/driving-down-the-road.html", "tags": ["Faith","Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","West Virginia","The Farm","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Wisdom","Humbled","Presence","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/11/15/the-art-of-giving.html", "title": "The Art of Giving", "content_html": "

\"Shopping\" “Shopping for warm blankets with my small group.”

\n

I love this time of year. However, the first Christmas after Mr. Virgo died, I was so incredibly lost. I went to Denver to be with my family because I couldn’t bear to be alone. I think that’s pretty common among those who have lost a spouse.

\n

The holidays were so special to my late husband. He lived for Christmas especially. He planned all year. He paid attention to what I needed or wanted and he was incredibly generous with gifts…too much so, really. But it gave him such joy to see the look on my face when I opened something from him. He just wanted to keep seeing that look.

\n

That first lonely Christmas, one of the layers of the onion peeled back and revealed my days of receiving his well thought out gifts were over and it was just another beautiful thing torn from my life. I was bereft. I wanted something special from him, and since that was impossible, I decided to do something special for me. 

\n

I was driving down a busy Denver street the week before Christmas when I felt the gentle nudge of the Holy Spirit.

\n

“There…go there.” 

\n

I looked to the right and it was Walmart. I dutifully turned in and parked. As I was walking in, I heard….

\n

“Pay it forward.”

\n

I went to the layaway desk and inquired how I could pay off someone’s layaway. Unfortunately, they had called in the layaways the week before so whatever hadn’t been paid for was returned to the shelves. Not to be deterred, I went to the ATM, withdrew some money, bought a card, and sat down to write a note in it. I told the recipient about this gentle man who loved Christmas and the joy of giving. I told whoever was going to receive this that I was giving them what he would have given me. Then I sat down on the bench at the front of the store and waited for the next instructions.

\n

“Go back there. To the left…you’ll find them there.”

\n

I headed for the back left and found the toy department. I wandered around and saw several shoppers but none stood out. I went around the corner of an aisle and there they were. A young mom and dad. They pulled a toy from the shelf, looking hopeful. Then they looked for the price, looked at each other, looked defeated, and put it back. They did this several times as they moved slowly down the aisle. There was very little in their cart.

\n

I roamed back and forth, acting like I was very interested in something, but all the while trying to listen without being too obvious. What I wanted was for the woman to wander away from her bag for a moment so I could slip the envelope in and be on my way with the young couple none the wiser. She was a smart girl…she never left her bag for a moment. Finally, I decided I just had to move forward or I was going to look like a crazy stalker.

\n

I walked up to the woman and said, “Here. I think this is yours.” I handed her the envelope with the bills stuffed inside. She was puzzled. She looked up from the envelope and our eyes met. I smiled warmly, pulled her to me in a mom hug, and whispered, “Merry Christmas.” Then, before she could let it register, I turned on my heel and walked away straight out of the store, without looking back.

\n

I got to the car and my knees were shaking. I would have loved to have seen her face. But then she would have wanted to thank me or maybe even refuse the gift. Neither of which I wanted. I put the car in gear and headed to meet my family knowing I had shared something special with someone who needed it. I remember when I was a poor, single mom…trying to do the best for my own little one with very, very little resources. It felt good to give.

\n

The church I attend is huge, so in order to have that sense of a “church family”, we have small groups that meet for several weeks per session. The group I belong to has such amazing, strong Christian women. We are in a chat group and we offer prayers and support to each other as we share and learn and grow in the Lord. 

\n

This year, our Pastor challenged the groups to find a service project and complete it by the end of the session. We couldn’t decide on just one so we supported two. The Women’s Care Center and the Mission for the homeless. Last night we met at a discount store in town and loaded three shopping carts full to overflowing. We bought children’s clothes, long john’s, hats, and 20 blankets and wheeled our purchases to the foyer. There, we stood around the carts and placed our hands on the bounty and prayed…out loud, in the store, in front of God and everybody. We asked for God to bless these items that they would doubly warm the recipients. We asked that they feel God’s love for them when they wrap themselves in the blankets. Then we headed for the mission.

\n

\"Bags “The bounty!”

\n

When we came in, laden with bag after bag of stuff, the man behind the desk said, “What have we here?”

\n

“Blankets! From The Warehouse Church!!!” We said, in unison.

\n

“Oh, my gosh…that’s exactly what we needed. I ran out of blankets this evening!”

\n

I smiled. I kinda felt Mr. Virgo grinning…poking me in the ribs.

\n

“See, babydoll! That’s what I’m talkin’ about. It’s better to give than to receive. Giving is an art form.”

\n

Yes…I do love this time of year. ❤️

\n
“Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. As it is written: “They have freely scattered their gifts to the poor; their righteousness endures forever.””  2 Corinthians 9:7-9 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2018-11-15T02:30:37-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/11/15/the-art-of-giving.html", "tags": ["Faith","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","God","Wisdom","Humbled","Presence","Choices","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/11/14/cold-weather-comfort-food.html", "title": "Cold Weather Comfort Food", "content_html": "

\"Creamed “Creamed Tomato Gravy…one of my grandma’s specialties!”

\n

Grandma canned tomatoes like it was going out of style. The shelves in the cellar house were brimming with home canned goodies to savor over the winter. Tomatoes, green beans, corn, big chunks of tender beef, pickles, picalilly, pickled beets, peaches, applesauce, apple butter, preserves, jams and jellies shone like jewels and were EVER so welcome on the dark nights of January and February. Bins of potatoes and apples as well as braids of onions would be divvied up to last till the first harvest in late spring. 

\n

\"Biscuits\" “Light and Flaky Buttermilk Biscuits…my favorite!”

\n

One of my favorite meals Grandma fixed was Creamed Tomato Gravy over Buttermilk Biscuits. I’ve never replenished my canning supplies after they were stolen from my storage area in Colorado, so I haven’t canned anything in quite some time. I did take the last of the ripe tomatoes in late summer and stewed them then froze two batches in the freezer. I’ve been promising Mr. FixIt this yummy comfort food for weeks now, but this is the first chance I’ve had to slow down and bake some biscuits.

\n

Mr. FixIt had to leave his truck with the mechanic Monday, so we are down to one vehicle this week. This means we get to spend the week together uninterrupted! We threw ourselves into cleaning house yesterday in preparation for company coming for Thanksgiving Dinner. We are still catching up with laundry as well as pulling blankets out for winter. It was a lovely, relaxing day nesting, cooking, and watching it try to snow. This tomato gravy over hot biscuits fresh from the oven were just what the doctor ordered! For dessert, we buttered a couple more and slathered on a healthy portion of Mixed Berry Jelly by the gal at In a Jam. My lifelong family/friend, Judith, gifted us six jars as a late wedding gifts which she swears is not a gift….just a “thinking of you”. She had the Chief Jam Maker at In a Jam make labels with our wedding picture on it. Actually, the one I’m using as a profile picture. Such a thoughtful person she is!

\n

The peace of days like this is not lost on me. Relaxing, puttering, cooking, knitting, writing, throwing in a couple loads of laundry and hanging out at home with my new husband is so delicious. You never know how much something hurts till the pain goes away, do you? ❤️

\n
“She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:”  Proverbs 31:27-28 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2018-11-14T02:30:08-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/11/14/cold-weather-comfort-food.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Positive Energy","West Virginia","Gratitude","Comfort","Love","Presence","Peaceful Moments"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/11/13/pennies-from-heaven.html", "title": "Pennies from Heaven", "content_html": "

\"Penny\" “Found pennies…is it God reminding us to trust him?”

\n

How many of you seem to find an inordinate number of coins since your person died? Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve found coins…sometimes every day…sometimes several times a day. You’ve all heard “See a penny, pick it up. All the day you’ll have good luck!” When you marry in England, you wear “something borrowed, something blue, a lucky sixpence in your shoe.” 

\n

Mr. FixIt and I found a penny one time that had the shape of a cross cut out of it. That was quite the find! Since Mr. Virgo died, I’ve found more and more coins. I’ve been told they are “angel pennies”…placed in your path to let you know your loved one is thinking of you. I don’t know if that is the case, but it’s a sweet sentiment.

\n

When I pick up any coin, I turn it heads up and read what is stamped along the edge. “In God We Trust”. I read this and smile. It’s like God is sending me a little reminder…”Trust in me. Stop worrying about whatever is rumbling around in that brain of yours and place your trust where it belongs.” I put the angel pennies I find in special places…my night stand, the dash in my truck, the pocket of my coat or jeans. These found coins continue to remind me as I come and go to remember who’s got my back. Who loves me more than all others. Who has saved me.

\n

My guess is…you will never look at a penny the same again. And you just might find yourself seeing more and more of them. ❤️

\n
“Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care.”  Matthew 10:29 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2018-11-13T02:30:10-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/11/13/pennies-from-heaven.html", "tags": ["Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","God","Forgiveness"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/11/07/election-day-and-the-bbc.html", "title": "Election Day and The BBC", "content_html": "
\n

\"Autumn “The colors at the farm were amazing!”

\n

Election Day

\nUnless you’ve been living under a rock somewhere, you all know yesterday was Election Day. Which makes today the best day of the year...no more political ads for the next 12-18 months. There is something to be said for NOT watching television!\n

I left after breakfast to head to the polling place. When I got there, the digital system to sign attesting your eligibility to vote was not functioning properly. It would not take my signature. We fiddled with it for over fifteen minutes till the gentleman finally held the connecting wire in exactly the right position. Once it accepted my signature, I turned and faced a sea of faces. Apparently, I was not the first to have difficulty signing in. There must have been 30 people sitting around waiting for their turn at the computer screen to vote.

\n

\"Farmhouse “I love this little red farmhouse and how it looks in the fall colors.”

\n

“Good ol’ Days”

\nThe woman in front of me remarked on the “good ol’ days” when she worked the polling place, she pushed for modernization. Now? Not so much. Colorado has a 100% mail-in ballot system. They said the costs of elections have gone down tremendously, the number of voters participating has got up, and the threat of election manipulation is zilch. They should do that everywhere and forget the electronic system which can be hacked by a ten-year-old in less than fifteen minutes. All was not lost, however. My neighbor came in a little bit after me and we had a wonderful time catching up.\n

Getting out to vote today had another distinct advantage. I got to meander about the countryside and enjoy the beautiful colors again. I loved watching the leaves rain down, filtering through the sunlight creating a dazzling display of red, gold, and yellow sparkles. Looking in the readies mirror, I could see the leaves kicked up by the truck and they spun around and around behind me.

\n

\"Camper “There is Joy…still under her tarp. I have to get her moved to the Ponderosa and try to get something done with her before it gets too cold.”

\n

Texts Can Offer BIG Surprises

\nAfter voting, I headed to the little town of Harrisville, home of Berdine’s Five & Dime where I purchased a few ounces of chocolate covered peanuts...my guilty pleasure. When I returned to the truck, I noticed a message had come in. Someone from BBC 5 Live radio was trying to reach me for an interview regarding coping after the loss of a spouse. It took well over an hour to connect because they were in England and I was in the boonies of Appalachia. I was asked some base questions and told the producers would contact me at 5:30pm. That gave me time to drive home to await their call.\n

\"Autumn “This looks like a painting, but it’s a photo I took on my way home from the farm last evening as the sun was setting.”

\n

Sure enough, the call came through. The producer connected me to the live line so I could hear the show as it progressed. The interviewer played a segment of an interview earlier in the day, then went live to the three of us being interviewed. Two men and myself. I truly enjoyed listening to their responses because I was amazed at how similar our experiences were. Our segment lasted about half an hour. I listened back and I think it went very well. You can listen to it here. Our segment begins a few seconds after 22:27. ❤️

\n

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m0000zxg

\n

“Those who sow with tears will reap with songs of joy. Those who go out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with them.”  Psalm 126:5-6 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2018-11-07T02:30:46-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/11/07/election-day-and-the-bbc.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Hope","West Virginia","Gratitude","Comfort","Peace","Humbled","Presence","Peaceful Moments","Be Joyful!","Press"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/11/06/living-in-a-small-town.html", "title": "Living in a Small Town in the Hills", "content_html": "

\"WV “The colors are a bit past their prime, but still lovely.”

\n

I am from West Virginia originally. I was raised about 30 miles from where I’m standing at this moment. My grandparents’ farm is 22 miles away. Both much shorter “as the crow flies”. I left here when I was nineteen years old and lived first in England for two years then Colorado for forty. It wasn’t until Mr. Virgo died that I headed back to my roots in these beautiful hills.

\n

My first year was spent out at the farm on seventy-four acres. You talk about quiet and peaceful. Other than the oil and gas traffic on the road, it’s dead out there. The little store closed this summer. The only thing open now is the tiny post office. 

\n

\"Pumpkins\" “Fall decor lines the driveway.”

\n

I remember when I was married to Hubby #2, the doctor. I lived a different life then than anything my family could even approach experiencing in terms of finances and the ability to experience travel. I was talking with one of my high school sister/friends one night and apparently I was acting in a way which warranted a dressing down. She reminded me, in no uncertain terms, where I started out in life and not to be so snooty. She was absolutely right. I had gotten a tad big for my britches.

\n

Widowhood changed me in many ways…not the least of which was living a small, quiet life in a camper with only 5% of my belongings dragged with me. Moving to the farm was a continuation of the much simpler, more humble, and highly satisfying life I have come to know since my return to my roots. And now, I’ve married into this sweet little town I’ve come to love.

\n

I went to the Post Office yesterday to pick up the mail held for us. As I stood in line, the two women at the front wrapped up a conversation as the clerk called her name.

\n

“I hope we run into each other again real soon!” 

\n

“”Well, lets just plan on lunch so we don’t have to leave it to chance!”

\n

“That’s great!”

\n

Hugs.

\n

“You tell your mama hey for me, will ya’?”

\n

“Sure will!”

\n

My heart smiled. I picked up my mail and headed to the local mom and pop grocery store. I was standing at the meat counter waiting for the gal to weigh out my two pounds of fresh ground hamburger and slice the Colby Longhorn cheese I’m so fond of. An older woman came up to the counter, walking gingerly.

\n

“Whoooo-ooooo! Honey, it’s gonna rain tomorrow. I can guarantee it. My joints are hurtin’ me somthin’ awful today. I tell my son, I say…’Boy…don’t you go huntin’ tomorrow  ‘cause it’s gonna rain!’ He listens. He’s a good boy.”

\n

My heart smiled even bigger.

\n

The gentleman from behind the meat counter went up to run the second register during the “big rush” at 4:00. He’s one of two brothers who own the store.

\n

“How have you been doing today?” He reminds me of a preacher. Clean cut, kind to a fault.

\n

“Great! We just got home from our honeymoon last night!” I said.

\n

“Wonderful, wonderful! And where did you go?” His smile was warm and engaging.

\n

I told him we started out with the WVU - Baylor game then headed to Colonial Williamsburg and on to the beach.

\n

“Oh, I remember a trip to Williamsburg when I was in Junior High. What a beautiful place that is. And what beach did you go to?” 

\n

“We went to Salvo and got a beach house.”

\n

“Oh, that’s just fine. I’m so happy for you!” He didn’t miss a beat as he continued to check me out, take my payment, and sack up my purchase. The only thing missing was an apron and a garter on his sleeve….maybe sawdust on the floor, penny candy and pickles in barrels by the door.

\n

I do so love living in a small town. I am not lacking for anything. This is the life I’ve wanted for at least the last thirty-five years. I was telling Mr. FixIt last night what all I would have wanted to do had we married at 35 instead of 65. I would have had chickens…goats…rabbits…and a barn. Maybe a milk cow. There would have been barn cats and a trusty dog. 

\n

There are five beautiful, flat acres here…plenty of room to have that hobby farm I always dreamed of. I think I’m past all that now. Oh, I could still do most of that, but it doesn’t make a bit of sense to invest a bunch of money in fencing and structures at our age. We have different interests now…like, traveling, camping, and not being tied down by animals.

\n

\"Brush “The neighbor came and brush hogged the back acre.”

\n

No, this life is perfect just the way it is. Our tractor was delivered today after getting warranty repairs. They just don’t make things like they used to. The guy that brought it out to the Ponderosa showed us how cheaply the wheel sprockets are made. He says they have replaced a lot of them. I went out in the field and mulched most of the leaves that fell in that section. Mr. FixIt lined all the pumpkins and gourds from the wedding all along the driveway. The mums in the backyard are already well past their prime. The leaves are still brightly colored but we are rapidly hitting “past peak” status. 

\n

We are already making plans for Thanksgiving and before you know it, Christmas will be here, as well. Even though our lives have a tendency to get busy and hectic, especially in mowing season, there is plenty of downtime to reflect on our many blessings. I hope you all are having a wonderful day! ❤️

\n

“Then God said, “Let the land produce vegetation: seed-bearing plants and trees on the land that bear fruit with seed in it, according to their various kinds.” And it was so.”  Genesis 1:11 NIV

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2018-11-06T02:30:49-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/11/06/living-in-a-small-town.html", "tags": ["Positive Energy","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Aging","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/11/05/home-again-home-again.html", "title": "Home Again, Home Again...", "content_html": "

\"Road “Riding shotgun gives me beautiful views as well as time to knit.”

\n

What a day! I am most fortunate that Mr. FixIt drove all the way home so I could sit and knit and talk and look at the GORGEOUS colors! The trees are at their peak right now.

\n

\"Hand “Knitting socks as we drove through the Blue Ridge and Appalachian Mountains.”

\n

We only had one hold up coming home. There had been a fender bender and before they could get it cleared, there were two more in the resulting slow down and congestion. We were only delayed by about ten minutes. Nothing else happened till we were 45 minutes from home.

\n

I had been texting with the friend we were with when they hit the deer last week. She texted, “Don’t hit any deer!” I hadn’t even looked up from my phone when Mr. FixIt hit the brakes and swerved. I heard a tiny thump but we didn’t run over anything. He said a deer was just starting to cross the road and he though he had just grazed her. We pulled over where there was adequate light and there was no damage whatsoever.

\n

As we headed out our road, someone flashed their lights to warn us of something ahead. There was another deer…hit and injured, but not dead. That’s the worst because I hate to see them suffer. I did not take my pistol with me on this trip so there was no putting her out of her misery. I needed to get her off the road to prevent an accident. I pulled her by her front legs and she bleated like a lamb. I’ve never heard a deer make that sound. It just broke my heart. I called 911 and they said they would send someone out to see what they could do for her.

\n

I am grateful we made it home safe and sound. Thank you, God! Now, life will get back to normal, right? (Insert laugh track here!) ❤️

\n

““But ask the animals, and they will teach you, or the birds in the sky, and they will tell you; or speak to the earth, and it will teach you, or let the fish in the sea inform you. Which of all these does not know that the hand of the Lord has done this? In his hand is the life of every creature and the breath of all mankind.”  Job 12:7-10 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2018-11-05T02:30:36-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/11/05/home-again-home-again.html", "tags": ["Travel","Fun","West Virginia","Gratitude","Comfort","Love","Peace","Presence","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/10/30/grief-love.html", "title": "#Grief \u0026 #Love", "content_html": "

\"Man “Mr. FixIt fishing on the Outer Banks.”

\n

This man. This love. There was a tipping point in my grief. That point where you cross a raging river and the bridge collapses after you. You can’t go back. And, once you’ve lived in the new place a while, you know things have changed in your heart. That other place isn’t your home anymore. This is where you belong. Where you were meant to be. The whole exercise made possible because of the sum of your experiences. 

\n

Do I wish Mr. Virgo hadn’t died? Of course I do. But I live in this world now. This life. This is the phoenix rising. 

\n

This man. This love. ❤️

\n

“Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.”  1 John 4:7 ESV

\n", "date_published": "2018-10-30T01:30:02-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/10/30/grief-love.html", "tags": ["Family","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Fun","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Love","Wisdom","Be Joyful!","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/10/29/the-beginnings-of-a-new.html", "title": "The Beginnings of a New Life", "content_html": "

\"Shadows “Shadows on the seashore!”

\n

Yesterday was a MUCH better driving day. It was sunny and the temperature was in the low 60’s. There were big, puffy white clouds till we got near the coast. Then the sky was a wide open expanse of clear blue. There was a little breeze but it was truly lovely. The colors were nice on the way down. What traffic we encountered was quite manageable. 

\n

We stopped at the Walmart as soon as we got on the island then drove the hour south to Waves, NC. We checked in then found our rental house. It took many trips to get everything upstairs. Once we had everything unloaded and put away, I made a cold supper of sandwiches and potato salad. We went for a long walk on the beach and hoped for a pretty sunset. But, it isn’t dramatic when there are no clouds. 

\n

The rental house is huge! Far bigger than two people need. But Mr. FixIt is an excellent deal finder and the house is less per week than most hotels. You can see both the ocean and the sound from the deck. And there are no kids running up and down the halls, slamming doors, stomping feet upstairs, or toilets flushing all night. This time of year is very peaceful and quiet here on Hatteras Island. Being the brilliant man that he is, Mr. FixIt purchased the trip insurance offer at the time of reservation in case of a hurricane. I told him as long as we had it, we were sure to not need it…but, if we didn’t? Who knows?

\n

I am so blessed to have this week in such a beautiful place with such a wonderful person. My cup runneth over. ❤️

\n

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”  Romans 8:28 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2018-10-29T01:30:10-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/10/29/the-beginnings-of-a-new.html", "tags": ["Family","Travel","Uplifting Stories","Fun","Gratitude","Comfort","Love","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/10/19/a-beautiful-day.html", "title": "A Beautiful Day", "content_html": "

\"Wind “On our way home yesterday, I caught a glimpse of the wind turbines atop a ridge near Elkins. It was an incredibly beautiful day.”

\n

The last two days were perfectly beautiful in the mountains of West Virginia. We left home around 11:00am Wednesday and got to our motel room an hour before the viewing. We hadn’t eaten since early so we went looking for something to eat after the viewing. You have three choices in the little, tiny town of Petersburg…Subway, Pizza Hut, and McDonald’s. We drove fifteen miles to Moorefield, hoping for a restaurant but found nothing we were willing to try. We we ended up buying some sandwich fixings at Food Lion and had a picnic back at the room. 

\n

There was no cell service and no WiFi at the motel which was fine by me. I wrote and scheduled Wednesday’s and Thursday’s posts Tuesday night in anticipation of being off the grid. It was really chilly when we got back to the room so I took a hot bath, bundled up, and got under the blankets and caught up with a week’s worth of devotionals. There were four channels on the TV so we turned it off and fell sound asleep by 9:30! Unheard of for us. 

\n

The funeral was yesterday at 11:00am. It was a very nice service. They played some songs…Elvis singing Amazing Grace…One Day at a Time. And one other I’ll share with you here. 

\n

Theirs was a love story, through and through. My uncle told me the first time he set eyes on my aunt, he was smitten. There was a lot going on in 1956. My Uncle Sonny was killed in a plane crash in 1955. Not long after, my Aunt Rosie got married. So, Uncle Dudley and Aunt Viv decided to elope to Oakland, Maryland and get married…in the same place my grandma and grandpa eloped to. Well, when they came home and told everyone…let’s just say, grandma wasn’t very happy about it. She loved Aunt Viv. She just wanted a wedding. 

\n

That was the start of 62 years of devotion. I remember their love as being full of fun and laughter and playfulness. I sat behind him at the funeral and when they played this song, he bowed his head. His shoulders shook slightly from his silent tears. The only other time I remember him crying was when I called to tell him Mr. Virgo died. It broke my heart. 

\n

As they played “Love, Me” by Colin Raye, I listened to the lyrics and realized the song was about their love. And I cried along with him. For broken hearts. For lost loves. 

\n

The funeral procession wound its way through the hills and countryside till the terrain opened into an expansive valley. We turned left and climbed the hill to the tent that was erected over her grave. My uncle had just purchased these plots last week. They had decided over the years they really didn’t like the cemetery where they had purchased plots years ago but they just hadn’t gotten around to getting the new ones. Oh, my! The view was absolutely stunning. My aunt rests high on a hillside overlooking magnificent farmland. Black angus cattle dot the landscape in the verdant green fields. The hardwoods of the forests surrounding the valley were just beginning to hint of the glorious burst of color coming in the next two weeks. 

\n

Afterwards, we gathered at the fellowship hall at the church and had one of those wonderful meals country church women fix after a funeral. Hearty, comfort food and lots of love flowed around those tables and we left reminded we are family. Our bonds run as deep as the cool springs in these Appalachian hills. The blood of our shared ancestors keep us connected far beyond the pages of Facebook. We promised to keep in touch with those we seldom see. We promised to bring something special to this year’s Thanksgiving dinner. 

\n

Mr. FixIt and I drove quietly through the hills, holding hands…our minds no doubt remembering we aren’t newlyweds at 25 and 26. We are newlyweds at 65 and 66. Our time together won’t be 62 years…but what time we DO have will be filled with fun and laughter and playfulness…just like my aunt and uncle’s marriage. I’m grateful for their example. I’m grateful for the opportunity to love like them. I’m just grateful for every day.

\n

youtu.be/arzlGTw8v…

\n

❤️

\n

“Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth.”

\n

2 Timothy 2:15 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2018-10-19T01:30:08-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/10/19/a-beautiful-day.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Grief","Hope","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","God","Wisdom","Courage","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/10/16/the-harder-side-of-love.html", "title": "The Harder Side of Love", "content_html": "

\"Holding “This is what true love looks like.”

\n
“Love bears all things [regardless of what comes], believes all things [looking for the best in each one], hopes all things [remaining steadfast during difficult times], endures all things [without weakening].”  1 CORINTHIANS 13:7 AMP
\nI received a call Sunday that my sweet Aunt Viv crossed over to meet our Lord. Aunt Viv has always had a heart of gold. I remember her holding Daughter #2 on her lap and singing “Jesus Loves Me” to her when she was just a bitty thing.\n

Aunt Viv met my Uncle “Dudley” when they were in high school. She was a majorette. He was on the football team. They both had excellent role models growing up and their marriage was built to last. Like my grandparents, my aunt and uncle sit beside each other and hold hands. It’s precious to see. 

\n

As Aunt Viv slid further and further into dementia, I encouraged my uncle to at least consider respite care so he could get some sleep. The last two years have been terribly difficult and he often went for days on very little sleep. They did finally get some help in the form of home health care, but he pooh-poohed the idea of placing his sweetheart somewhere other than the home they built together. 

\n

The other night I was having my quiet meditation time. I read my devotionals and had a quiet conversation with God. 

\n

“Lord, I am about to be married again. There were times in my past marriages when I wasn’t very good to my husband. Can you help me be a better wife? Can you show me what that means?”

\n

Immediately this picture popped into my head and I went through my phone to find it. Suddenly, I had this brilliant insight. Here I was, encouraging my uncle to send his beloved wife away when God was using him to show us all what true, Godly love looks like. He was showing us what “in sickness and in health” really means. I was humbled and ashamed. I immediately wanted to hug my sweet uncle and thank him for being the excellent role model he was and to apologize for ever speaking to him in such a way. What an amazing, strong man. 

\n

This is not to say there is anything wrong with people who make the difficult choice to put their loved one in a nursing home. Everyone has their own beliefs and abilities and no one should ever be made to feel guilty for having made that decision. It takes a lot out of a person to do what my uncle has done. I hate that he is so worn down. But I love that he stuck by his bride and held her hand for sixty-two years…right to the end. I think there will be an extra star in his crown when he joins her one day. ❤️

\n", "date_published": "2018-10-16T01:30:19-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/10/16/the-harder-side-of-love.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Hope","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","God","Wisdom","Courage","Humbled","Aging","Presence","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/10/14/introducingmr-mrs-fixit.html", "title": "Introducing....Mr. \u0026 Mrs. FixIt", "content_html": "

\"Wedding “Introducing Mr. and Mrs. FixIt!”

\n

Oh my, what a perfect day!!! I prayed it wouldn’t be too hot. It didn’t break 50 degrees even though the last two weeks have been in the high eighties. I prayed there wouldn’t be bugs. It was cool to the point of being downright brisk so…no bugs!!! I prayed the pulled pork would be moist. It was succulent and juicy. There was a small hiccup with the music but just when I decided to walk in unaccompanied, it kicked in. It didn’t rain…or snow. My hair cooperated. It truly was a perfect day!

\n

When I asked Mr. FixIt what his favorite part of the wedding was, he said “When I saw you walking toward me.” I know this is true because when I got up to him he just looked and me and said, “Whoa!” Everyone laughed and I knew…this was as close to the perfect moment we may ever get when we are on this earth. And now, as I’m writing this, I realize how exhausted I am. I have a kitchen full of things needing cleaned. But, I have really great cake and pulled pork leftovers. 

\n

Really. Perfect. Day. ❤️

\n

“Even more than all this, clothe yourself in love. Love is what holds you all together in perfect unity.”

\n

Colossians 3:14 NCV

\n", "date_published": "2018-10-14T01:30:41-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/10/14/introducingmr-mrs-fixit.html", "tags": ["West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Fear","Forgiveness","Courage","Peaceful Moments","Downsizing","Change","Wedding"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/10/10/rustic-wedding.html", "title": "Rustic Wedding", "content_html": "
\n\"Quilt\n\n
\n
“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.”  Colossians 3:23-24 NIV
\nThe first rustic wedding I ever attended was my cousin’s oldest daughter’s. It was lovely. I stole the idea of using hay bales for seating from her, with her blessing. I’ve been on the hunt for quilts the last couple of weeks to lay over the hay bales and I’ve found enough, I think. I was rummaging around in some tubs and found some quilts I’d forgotten I even had. This one has a story. \n

There was once a time in my life when I was downright agoraphobic. I could go to work and I could go shopping, with some discomfort. But to go “out”…to stretch my boundaries and go someplace alone was way too much for me. I would be sick for three days before I traveled anywhere just fretting about it. I’m not sure why or how I got that way but it took quite a while to get over it. 

\n

I started by taking off by myself in WV when I went home in the summers for a visit. I knew WV. I was comfortable there. One summer, my older daughter was visiting her father in Kentucky and Hubby #2 was in medical school. I had saved up all year to go see my family and while I was there, I went on a little three day road trip. I was driving in the southern part of the state when I saw a sign for Hinton, WV. There was a railroad museum and a few antique stores so I took the exit and meandered on the backroads of WV till I found myself in a dusty little town on the banks of the New River. Most of downtown Hinton was placed on the National Register of Historic Places in 1984. It reached its peak population in 1930 with 6,654, according to the census. The population has steadily dwindled over the years till the year 2016 recorded 2,469 living souls inhabiting this bucolic little burg. 

\n

I stopped at the only shop open that rainy summer afternoon. The old railroad station was a thrift and antique store. My collecting passion at that time was quilts and there was a lovely wedding ring baby quilt hanging on the wall. It was done in soft pastels and the stitching was really rough. But something about it spoke to me. It had a little hand-printed tag with a woman’s name and the price. I can’t remember now how much I paid for it but I’d be surprised if it was over fifty dollars, given that Hubby #2 was in medical school and money was scarce. 

\n

I asked the sales clerk if she could take down the quilt so I could get a closer look. What I thought was just “rough” quilting looked more like a young child had done it. I nearly told the clerk to put it back but that quilt kept speaking to me. I asked her if she knew the woman whose name was on the tag. Was she the quilter?

\n

“Oh, that would be Miss Nellie,” she said. “She’s an old, black woman that lives in a cabin back up the holler yonder.” She pointed in a general direction off somewhere to the south. “She’s blind, don’t you know!”

\n

“Really? And she made this quilt?” I asked. I ran my fingers over the rough stitches, the pieces all puckered. “How does she do that?”

\n

“Well, her granddaughter cuts the pattern and sets the pieces out on the dining room table. Then Miss Nellie sews them by hand, one by one, feeling for the next shape to fit in. She’s been quilting all her life so it’s her fingers that ‘see’ the work,” the clerk explained. 

\n

It was such a piece of American Folk Art, I had to have it. That quilt hung over our bed for a very long time. Over the years, it’s been toted and packed and moved and somehow it got wet. There are stains I can’t remove, but that just seems to add to its charm. This will be one of the quilts that graces a seat at our wedding on Saturday. I’ll picture Miss Nellie in her best Sunday-go-Meetin’ dress, her cracked patent leather handbag resting on her lap…a hanky clasped in one hand. I’m sure weddings made her cry. She is surely long gone now. She was ninety one when she made this quilt. 

\n

They are delivering the tent today. Our longtime friends, Dianne and Bobby are coming over to help us decorate. The hay will be under cover for the hard rain we are expecting tomorrow. My final fitting for my dress is this afternoon. I am meeting a friend for coffee and a little visit first. She has some quilts for me to use. 

\n

The grandkids were over yesterday and while I worked inside and visited with our granddaughter and great granddaughter, her husband was out with Mr. FixIt moving the woodpile that refused to burn. They hauled it down to the end of the field along the fence line in the woods near the old apple tree. They loaded the trailer up with more junk to take to the scrap yard today. They cut down trees around the building and piled the second brush pile a little more compactly and set it ablaze. It’s almost gone now. We had burgers and sat out by the pool as the sunset cast shades from hot pink to salmon to yellow-gold in the sky above us. A day well-worked is a day well-lived. 

\n

The place looks SO much better. I told Mr. FixIt there comes a point when he has to say enough is enough. And you know what? It’s going to rain tomorrow so God is going to force him inside to take a day of rest before things get exciting Friday! Wednesday-Thursday-Friday….

\n

SATURDAY!!! 

\n

It’s almost here!!! ❤️

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2018-10-10T01:30:24-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/10/10/rustic-wedding.html", "tags": ["Family","West Virginia","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!","Wedding"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/09/24/the-feeling-of-prayers.html", "title": "The Feeling of Prayers", "content_html": "

\"Feathered “When someone prays for me, it’s like a thousand feathered angel wings wrapping around me.”

\n
“Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.”  Colossians 4:2 NIV
\nI will never forget when my friend Bill told me I was on his daily prayer list ever since the overdose at the end of my second marriage. I was...stunned. Here he was, a busy Emergency Room physician and a missionary in a country and location they could not reveal for fear of being killed. And I was on his daily prayer list? \n

When I finally became a Christian in 2005, the first people I told were my neighbors, Bob and Ellie. I asked them over, sat them on the couch, and told them I had accepted Christ as my personal Savior. They both immediately burst into tears and said, “Oh, we both have been praying so hard for you!” 

\n

When I revealed on Saturday that Mr. FixIt and I were getting married and shared the reason why, several of you told me you had been praying for me to hear God’s whispers and do what was right.

\n

This was astonishing to me. I have prayed for countless people and circumstances, but I don’t think about others praying FOR me. Maybe my safety and comfort and good circumstances actually came because of the prayers of others. My grandma comes to mind. I can guarantee she prayed for me. Many times.

\n

Hindsight tells me the gradual discomfort I felt when I was someplace on my journey I shouldn’t have been was at least partially due to the prayers of others trying to lead me back home. I once asked you here to pray for me and I felt a supernatural comfort…like a thousand feathered angel wings wrapped all around me. This is what the prayer of another feels like if you can open yourself to it. It’s physical. It’s supernatural. And it’s very, very real.

\n

Praying for the happiness of my ex-husband and his soon-to-be wife allowed forgiveness which gave me peace. Praying for my children and grandchildren gives me hope for their safety and well-being. Praying for Mr. FixIt brings me reassurance of his strength and leadership for our family as we prepare to marry. Prayer can be felt by those you pray for. They may not have a clue it’s your prayers they are feeling, but trust me…they feel it in one way or another. So, keep praying. If there is someone who is lost, pray them home. If there is someone who is discouraged, pray for bravery. If there is someone who is broken, pray for peace. Prayer never hurt anyone and even though you may never see the results, it makes a difference. Because God listens. He hears. He cares. He loves us more than anything you could possibly imagine.

\n

Take this into your week and be encouraged. Prayer changes things…even if it’s just inside of you. ❤️

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2018-09-24T01:30:49-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/09/24/the-feeling-of-prayers.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Courage","Monday Morning Motivation"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/09/20/the-velvet-blue-of-dusk.html", "title": "The Velvet Blue of Dusk", "content_html": "\"\"\n
“\"Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.”  Matthew 6:34 ESV
\nThis is the time of year where the days are noticeably shorter, yet the weather still screams “summer”. After a lovely day at the farm, Mr. FixIt and I had to drive back over to his house to get my truck. He has a job to do in town the next few days and we didn’t even think of having two vehicles till yesterday afternoon. I love having him around. I also love some alone time at the farm. I have the best of all worlds. \n

I threw some old carrots out on the lawn where the deer were gathered the other night. I sat out on the front porch at sunset to watch for them to come get their treat. As I sat there waiting, I tuned my ears to the sounds around me. There was a cardinal darting in the underbrush along the creek….chattering at the cats who must be nearby. Tree frogs, katydids, and locusts provided a chorus for free. I haven’t heard crickets here like I usually do. They didn’t show up at the Ponderosa till earlier this month. I thought that was odd. 

\n

I heard a passenger jet flying high overhead as we are on a flight path to somewhere. The occasional vehicle passes. Thankfully the traffic has slowed considerably due to the stage of construction on the pipeline and compressor station. And, of course, the condition of the road warrants slowing down. 

\n

There are very few flowers in bloom now. There is some sort of small purple flower in the ditch along the driveway. Some leaves are changing already. The dogwood have hints of pink and crimson. The berries on them aren’t red yet. There are little flashes of yellow at the tips of some branches on the hillside across the road. The incessant humming of the refrigerator is in the background. 

\n

This is the time of year when I am called out to the front porch to soak in every moment I can before Jack Frost sends me indoors. There wasn’t a breath of a breeze. The humidity was nearly 60%. It was still 84 degrees at 7:00pm. A Jenny Wren scolded the neighbor as he took his dog for a walk around the perimeter of his property. The wild turkeys in the woods across the way have gone to roost. 

\n

Another day is done. I’ve avoided the news. I’ve embraced the peaceful surroundings at the farm. I’ve seen pictures loved ones have shared. This little one had her first day of Girl Scouts. That one is recovering from surgery. Another one was out feeding the chickens. I am filled with grace and a peace beyond understanding. It is well. It is well…with my soul. ❤️

\n

 

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2018-09-20T01:30:40-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/09/20/the-velvet-blue-of-dusk.html", "tags": ["West Virginia","The Farm","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Presence","Change","The Cats"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/09/14/country-living-fair.html", "title": "Country Living Fair", "content_html": "

\"Fun “You don’t have to have an expensive camper and tow vehicle to go camping! Come see us at the Country Living Fair in Columbus, OH this weekend…we’ll show you how to camp like a girl!”

\n
“The boys grew up, and Esau became a skillful hunter, a man of the open country, while Jacob was content to stay at home among the tents.”  Genesis 25:27 NIV
\nIt’s here! My favorite event of the year. I’m here to lend a hand to Janine Pettit...Girl Camper Podcaster and Blogger and all around great camper gal and Gail Bable, my dear friend who is the camp host at Beaver Creek State Park. We headed to the fairgrounds bright and early yesterday morning. Well, ok...not TOO bright and early. We had to sit in TOW-Wanda and gather our wits about us while we had our morning hot beverages and cinnamon rolls! The camp host here at the fairgrounds woke me up WAY too early to register and pay so if you’re up anyway...it’s time for coffee!\n

You can see in this photo of TOW-Wanda…I got a primo campsite under the only tree in the place! You can’t see beyond us, but there’s another huge campground and beyond that are the railroad tracks. Between the trains and the flight path out of the Columbus airport and all the sirens…it’s a pretty noisy place. But I just popped in my earplugs and slept like a baby! 

\n

\"Camping\" “My friend Gail brought her vintage 1990 Ford Econoline 250 camper van to show at Country Living Fair this weekend. There’s TOW-Wanda…stocked and ready to give us a cool respite in the heat of the day.”

\n

Gail brought her vintage 1990 Ford Econoline 259 camper van to dress up and show at the fair this year. Janine has her Little Guy Mini Max with her. (Photos tomorrow!) TOW-Wanda is staying here at the campground as a staging area for cooling off and napping.

\n

Center stage at this year’s Girl Camper display is “Champ”…Janine’s WAY cool new tent made by Stout Tents. A lot of gals follow the Girl Campers, Sisters on the Fly, and other women’s camping pages and they want to join in the fun but don’t have a camper. We wanted to demonstrate this year that you don’t have to have a huge investment in something as expensive as a camper to go out and have fun with the gals. This tent can not only serve as your single source of camp lodging…but, it can also become your “guest bedroom”. Janine loves camping in her little camper, but sometimes she wants to take some friends along and there’s just not enough room in her trailer. Voila! Champ becomes that second bedroom big enough to put at least three cots in. At 13’ across, you could sleep 5-6 in sleeping bags. That would make for a fun slumber party, wouldn’t it?

\n

\"Setting “Setting up the new Stout Tent at Country Living Fair. Janine pounds in the ground stakes while I pull the guy wires taut.”

\n

We spent the day in wilting heat, decorating this little tent with some wonderful old wool blankets and afghans, pillows, and vintage camping gear from Janine’s vast personal collection. She has her own She-Shed devoted entirely to the vintage finds she has gathered over the years. It was fun watching the grounds fill up with some of the COOLEST stuff around. I can’t wait till we get to take our little breaks and walk around to see all the booths. It’s literally like walking into the pages of a Country Living Magazine. If you ever get the opportunity, you really should go. And, if you happen to be in the Columbus area this weekend, come and see us!!! ❤️

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2018-09-14T01:30:21-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/09/14/country-living-fair.html", "tags": ["Travel","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","Fun","Comfort","goRVing","Girl Camper","Girl Campers","Country Living Fair"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/09/11/listening-to-the-still-small.html", "title": "Listening to the Still Small Voice", "content_html": "

\"Sternwheeler\" “Sternwheelers left the festival early this weekend due to threat of flooding.”

\n
“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.””  Joshua 1:9 NIV
\nThis time last year, I had just wrapped up my first Sisters on the Fly event that I hosted here in West Virginia...WV Riverboat Rendezvous. It was timed to coincide with the Sternwheel Festival in Marietta. There were twenty-three women in attendance and we had a blast! Lots of activities from riding a stern wheeler over to Blennerhassett Island to touring a Victorian Mansion to learning how to clog while listening to WV’s Number 1 Fiddle Player. We churned homemade ice cream and had an old fashioned weenie roast. We took a tour of an abandoned oil and gas town. The weather that weekend was fabulous. No rain, reasonably cool weather, and a wonderful campground made for a really fun weekend. \n

All year, I toyed with the idea of doing it again. While it was indeed a lot of fun, it was a tremendous amount of work. Every time I thought about getting started organizing it, that still small voice said, “No, not this year.” I was afraid I was disappointing others who might want to gather again this fall, but I just couldn’t shake the thought that it wasn’t meant to be this year. If I would have forged ahead and not listened, the event would have come, not only on the heels of my hospitalization last week, but also a wicked bad storm hit over the weekend. Our rain gauges, both at the Ponderosa and at the farm, were topped out at six inches and overflowing, so who knows what we actually received? The point being…I listened. I was told no. And I abided by that. 

\n

Everyone who camped with me this weekend with the Girl Campers got home safely with no weather problems. I was so grateful to have had that time with my friends without all the stress a large event causes. I went to the farm yesterday and did laundry in preparation for this week’s trip to the Country Living Fair. Mr. FixIt and his daughter came out to join me. We went through some of the boxes of my treasures and had so much fun looking at things my dad brought back from the war and some old family photographs. We played cards and told stories of growing up. It was such a pleasure to feel the farmhouse warm with the love of family. 

\n

There was one point where I opened one of the boxes and laying right on the top was the bill from the ambulance company that took Mr. Virgo to the hospital the day he died. I looked up at Mr. FixIt’s daughter and sighed. She, too, is a widow. She looked at me questioningly. 

\n

I closed the lid to the box and smiled. “There are still some things that bother me,” I said. “This is the ambulance bill. Today would have been his 68th birthday. I don’t need to go through this box today.” She gets it.

\n

Still…it was a good day, all in all. I just had to leave well enough alone.

\n

And today…we remember the fallen. 9/11. We will never forget. ❤️

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2018-09-11T01:30:57-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/09/11/listening-to-the-still-small.html", "tags": ["Family","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","West Virginia","The Farm","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Wisdom","Downsizing"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/09/05/road-trip-fall.html", "title": "Road Trip #1 - Fall 2018", "content_html": "

\"Fall “The leaves are beginning to change and you know what that means? Fall Girl Camping!!!”

\n
“That evening quail came and covered the camp, and in the morning there was a layer of dew around the camp. When the dew was gone, thin flakes like frost on the ground appeared on the desert floor. When the Israelites saw it, they said to each other, “What is it?” For they did not know what it was. Moses said to them, “It is the bread the Lord has given you to eat. This is what the Lord has commanded: ‘Everyone is to gather as much as they need. Take an omer for each person you have in your tent.’ ””  Exodus 16:13-16 NIV
\nI’ve been doing everything I can to be well enough to join the Girl Campers for their fall outing. I was pretty worried last week and over the weekend as to whether I would get to go or not. With the help of my doctor and my Girl Camper friends, I am all set to go on a road trip today. Now, before you go all “mom” on me, let me tell you my plans.\n

First, I’m not pulling a camper this time. My dear friend and fellow Girl Camper Extraordinaire has kindly offered her vintage Avion for my use for the next week. For those of you unfamiliar with the Avion…it looks very much like an Airstream, but not shiny. I am so excited to get the opportunity to stay in a vintage camper! And this cuts out all worries of having a mechanical breakdown on the way to or from the event.

\n

Second, I went to my doctor’s office yesterday and got a good looking over. I’m not wheezing anymore. I’m stable on the meds they gave me and everything is under control. She gave me a prescription for a nebulizer since I cannot find mine so I can give myself a breathing treatment if I need to. I promised I would not do the extra activities and I’m taking my knitting and crafts and magazines and a couple of books. I’ll take my writing and my art supplies. Just sitting and relaxing…and no campfires near me!

\n

Third, some girlfriend time is exactly what I need! Mr. FixIt is slowly on the mend. His virus hit him as body aches. No head or chest congestion. He’s hoping by Friday he will feel up to driving up and joining us for the weekend as this is a Mister-Sister trip. He loves to sit around the campfire over the weekend with the girls and they love having him. I’ll be up at camp till Tuesday morning. And I promise…I’ll be careful and there are a lot of people watching out for me so I wont get in trouble! I can’t wait to share stories from around the propane “campfire” and I love taking you all along with me! 

\n

❤️?❤️?❤️

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2018-09-05T01:30:43-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/09/05/road-trip-fall.html", "tags": ["Strong Women","Positive Energy","Camping","Fun","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","goRVing","Peaceful Moments","Girl Camper","Girl Campers","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/09/03/feeling-stronger-every-day.html", "title": "Feeling Stronger Every Day", "content_html": "

\"Psalms “I love Psalms.”

\n
“Worship the Lord your God, and his blessing will be on your food and water. I will take away sickness from among you,”  Exodus 23:25 NIV
\nRemember that song? You never realize how sick you were till you feel better. My medication list just got longer...for the next twelve days, at least. But it’s a small price to pay at this point. \n

I went to the farm yesterday to look for something and do some laundry. When I walked up on the back porch, I noticed the cats had left a Ritual Sacrifice to the Food God. This one was of the rodent variety. Not sure of the significance, but it is their way of showing love…however icky. At least it wasn’t one of my pretty songbirds. As I was feeding Boy Cat, he shot past me and made a bee line for the driveway. I knew he was after something and soon he came back proudly carrying a frog to present to me. Of course, as soon as he set down the frog in front of me, it took off. I managed to shoo that cat enough to give the frog a chance to make his escape and soon Boy Cat was happily munching on his real supper.

\n

As I walked into the house, I saw all the boxes. I have to tell you, my heart sank for a moment. I was so sick last week that I actually forgot for a moment they were out there. They’ll have to wait for a while though. Winter is coming fast enough and I’m not going to miss out on a moment of this gorgeous weather coming up. We are to have a very hot week, then things should cool off. There are already a lot of leaves changing around here. Spots of gold are everywhere and leaves are falling on some varieties of trees. I won’t mind cool nights. They make sleeping so much better.

\n

The grass desperately needs cut out at the farm and I was actually smart enough to refrain from trying to mow it myself. I consider that a major accomplishment. I am not always to responsible. Unfortunately, I have shared this virus with Mr. FixIt and he’s feeling pretty miserable this evening. I certainly hope I can get him through this quickly. I don’t think he will have the same lung issue with it because he doesn’t have asthma like me. Thank goodness! I’m sterilizing everything because these respiratory viruses can live on surfaces for ten days. That’s how people keep getting reinfected. 

\n

Well, it’s Monday. Go out there and make it a good week and be good to each other. A smile can be such a blessing to someone that it bounces right back on you! ❤️

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2018-09-03T01:30:27-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/09/03/feeling-stronger-every-day.html", "tags": ["Faith","Overcoming Obstacles","West Virginia","The Farm","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","God","The Cats"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/09/02/days.html", "title": "2,000 Days", "content_html": "

\"Meme\" “2,000 Days”

\n
“(For we are but of yesterday, and know nothing, because our days upon earth are a shadow:)  Job 8:9 KJV
\nFor a long time after losing Mr. Virgo, I marked the timeline of my grief by significant dates. The first anniversary without him came just three weeks after he died. That was a tough one. First Halloween marked when we met. The first time I celebrated his birthday alone was terribly sad. First Thanksgiving, first Christmas...the list went on and on and I was convinced when the first “angelversary” of his death came around, I could turn a corner on this grief thing. Needless to say, that didn’t happen.\n

The seconds were worse for me than the firsts. Because, the first year I was in a fog. The second year I was awake and he was still gone. It was deeply painful. It was desperately lonely. I was exceedingly angry. Each day led me forward, ever so slowly, toward…what? Healing? Peace? Acceptance? It wasn’t easy. Somewhere along the line, 1,000 days passed and I wrote about my experiences along the way. Still marking the calendar of grief.

\n

Now it’s been 2,000 days. Unbelievable. It seems like forever ago. It seems like yesterday. It sometimes even seems like he was a dream and I never really had him. I think that’s fairly normal, from what I have heard from you all over the years. I can’t remember his voice anymore. I struggle to picture his hands. He’s like a really good movie that I loved and watched over and over till I memorized all the words…then lost the disk. I’ll never see that particular movie again, but I remember how much I enjoyed it.

\n

I still get waves of grief. They don’t hit nearly as hard as they used to, and they don’t last nearly as long, thank God. I notice them most when I am tired or not feeling well. I’ve learned so much about myself since he died. I’ve become much stronger. My world is brighter now that I’ve passed through all those days. I have new love. But I will never lose my old love. I have them both. I am a widow and a partner. I grieve and I rejoice. 

\n

I have greater compassion now. For others. For myself. I know not everyone has a new love. Not everyone wants it. Women are perfectly capable of being widowed and still lead a fulfilling life. One does not need a partner to be rich in love. Women can be remarkably resilient and strong all on their own. 

\n

So, it’s been 2,000 days. Remarkable…yet another ordinary day. The seas are much calmer this far from the shore. ❤️

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2018-09-02T01:30:41-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/09/02/days.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Presence","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/08/28/just-when-i-thought-it.html", "title": "Just When I thought It Was Allergies", "content_html": "

\"just just when I thought it was allergies…it’s a cold.

\n
“Let all that I am praise the Lord; may I never forget the good things he does for me. He forgives all my sins and heals all my diseases.”   Psalms 103:2-3 NLT
\nMy “allergies” turned into a full fledged cold yesterday. That didn’t stop me. We had to pick up two loads of my “stuff” from my friend Steve’s house and take it out to the farm. We had a chiropractor appointment first. Then a couple of errands. Then picking up the stuff.\n

When I made the decision to sell my house, downsized 95% of my personal belongings, and move halfway across the country, it had literally whittled my possessions down to what I felt was the bare necessities. When things went south with my aunt on the farm, I needed to leave and couldn’t take my stuff with me. Enter my dear friend, Mr. Steve. His wife and I were friends in school. She passed away not too long before I moved to WV. When Steve learned I didn’t have anyplace to put my stuff, he suggested I leave it in his basement. That was four years ago. He needs his space back. And I need to face another 5% of stuff and figure out if I need it or not. 

\n

We spent the better part of yesterday loading up my truck and carting the stuff to the farm. I figure it’s better to have it out there where I have the space to spread out and go through things. I can’t believe I have downsized this much already and I’m still not done. I look at this stuff that I never even thought of over those years. It’s easy to start thinking dumpster.

\n

And, as I finished the second load, I stretched out on grandma’s bed and promptly fell asleep. When I woke up, I had a fever and I officially have a cold. Ugh. Too much to do to be sick. But I will go to sleep without a fight tonight. ❤️

\n", "date_published": "2018-08-28T01:30:14-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/08/28/just-when-i-thought-it.html", "tags": ["Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Courage","Downsizing","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/08/03/afternoon-walkabout.html", "title": "Afternoon Walkabout", "content_html": "

\"Hooded “Hooded Warbler”

\n
“Consider how the wild flowers grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you—you of little faith!” Luke 12:27-28 NIV
\nMr. FixIt and I decided to walk up the road yesterday afternoon before we headed home from the farm. The heavy truck traffic from the gas pipeline construction has eased up slightly and the road repair crew had moved back toward the bridge, so walking was a little safer and more enjoyable. I was particularly interested in a mulberry tree down the road. I wanted to check if the berries were ripening so I could make some jam and jelly. Unfortunately, there wasn’t a single mulberry on the tree. Last year at this time is was loaded so the only thing I can figure is the late freezes this spring got them. \n

Just as we headed out for our walk, this beautiful Hooded Warbler darted into the spicebush next to the porch. I have never seen one and had to look it up to find out what it was. What a beauty…and such a sweet little song it sings.

\n

The photos, in order:

\n

\"Cicada\" “Cicada”

\n

As we walked along, I scanned the roadsides for interesting things to photograph. A cicada caught my eye, as did this black and yellow millipede. Creepy crawlies, to be sure. According to projectnoah.org, “Some millipedes emit liquid secretions of hydrogen cyanide gas through microscopic pores, so always wash your hands after handling.” Yeah…like I’m going to be picking THAT thing up! ? 

\n

\"Flat “Flat Backed Millipede”

\n

This is the most I’ve revealed of Mr. FixIt. Six-foot-one and sweet as can be. I love this guy! ❤

\n

\"Man “Mr. FixIt…ooooh, I love this guy!”

\n

When Daughter #1 brought her future husband to West Virginia to meet the family, we stayed in this sweet little cabin up the road from the farm. It is owned by my mother’s cousin. My aunt called it “Jack-in-the-Pulpit Inn” because of all the wildflowers around. 

\n

\"Old “Jack-in-tha-Pulpit Inn”…an old log cabin down the road from the farm.”

\n

Goldenrod or Ragweed made my grandpa sneeze like crazy. He just hated when it came in bloom, but they are so pretty alongside the roadways.

\n

\"Goldenrod\" “Goldenrod”

\n

Queen Anne’s Lace is one of my favorite wildflowers. If you look closely, you can see the “Queen’s Heart” in the center.

\n

\"Queen “Queen Anne’s Lace”

\n

I have no idea what this little butterfly is. I spend about ten minutes trying to find out and gave up. Anyone know? 

\n

\"Butterfly\" “Little Brown and Orange Butterfly”

\n

This one I know…it’s a Tiger Swallowtail.

\n

\"Tiger “Tiger Swallowtail Butterfly”

\n

Ahhhh, sweet Honeysuckle vines. When its hot in June, you can smell this from a mile away on a warm summer night.

\n

\"Honeysuckle\" “Honeysuckle”

\n

This little guy is a Red-Spotted Purple. People often mistake these for swallowtails, but as you can see…no “tail”.

\n

\"Red-Spotted “Red-Spotted Purple”

\n

These last two pictures show the damage to our road from all the heavy equipment running up and down the road all day long. I will be so glad when they get this pipeline and compressor station completed and the pipe liners move on down south.

\n

\"“Road “Road damage from gas pipeline equipment,”

\n

\"Road “Deep grooves in the asphalt from six-axle loads of rock.”

\n

Walkabouts are fun on the farm, and I truly love sharing the beauty with you all. It’s Friday! I hope you are going to do lots of fun things this weekend. Mr. FixIt’s granddaughter is getting married tomorrow so this is a BIG weekend for us. ❤

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2018-08-03T01:30:25-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/08/03/afternoon-walkabout.html", "tags": ["Family","Positive Energy","Fun","West Virginia","The Farm","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Peace","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/08/02/all-things-green.html", "title": "All Things Green", "content_html": "

\"Green “West Virginians cook their green beans for hours with bacon or salt pork and onion, salt, and pepper. The house smells divine!”

\n
“For every house is built by someone, but God is the builder of everything.”\n‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭3:4‬ ‭NIV‬‬
\nOne of my fondest memories is sitting as a little girl on the front porch of the farm house, my grandma in the chair to my left. She had the beat up lid of an old roasting pan turned over in her lap and it was filled with washed green beans fresh from the garden. These were old fashioned string beans, not the stringless bush bean variety you find nowadays. They were a bit more work to prepare. You took a paring knife and cut the tip of one end almost all the way through and pulled. This removed the long, stringy piece from down one side. Then you turned the bean over and did the same thing from the other end. Then you snapped the bean in half, or thirds, with one hand and dropped them in a cooking pot.\n

When you were done, you rinsed the beans again, and filled the pot with clean water to barely cover the beans. You cut up an onion or two and threw that in along with a few pieces of ham, salt pork, or fried bacon and the grease they were fried in. You might add a little black pepper and salt if the bacon wasn’t too salty. You covered the pot and set it to simmer midmorning, adding water when necessary. Come suppertime, the house smelled wonderful and the beans were nice and tender. Here in West Virginia, we COOK our green beans. None of this crispy “al denté” stuff! Oh, there’s nothing like green beans cooked Grandma style.

\n

We have had rain every day this week and are expected to have more for the next ten days. The yards and fields have all been mowed, and while there are a thousand things we could have done over at the Ponderosa yesterday, I awoke with one thing in mind…rain on the tin roof of my favorite farmhouse in the world. I asked Mr. FixIt if he’d like to spend a couple days over here and he is such an accommodating guy. He knows how much I love it here. And, while I certainly don’t need his permission and could come here anytime I want, I do so enjoy it when he is with me. So, we packed up a cooler with some chicken I cooked the day before and some other sundries, grabbed our usually-always-packed overnight bags, and headed for the farm.

\n

Mr. FixIt had stopped at the produce stand Sunday afternoon and bought some fresh green beans. Ours didn’t grow in our garden this spring and we’ve been hungry for them. Unfortunately, when we opened the bag to cook them, they were all moldy. We were so disappointed. Then I remembered the neighbor across the road saying he had canned all the beans he was going to can out of his garden and I was welcome to come pick some whenever I wanted. It was pouring the rain down when I donned my boots, grabbed a big golf umbrella and a bowl and headed across the road. My neighbor’s garden is surrounded with electric fencing to keep the critters out of his garden. He said the other day he made the mistake of touching it when he was mowing and the new, higher power charger really packs a punch so I was extra careful. I unplugged the charger and tried to open the circuited gate wire, but I wasn’t strong enough and there wasn’t enough slack. I remember him telling me he had a solar charger and I wasn’t completely certain I wasn’t dealing with “hot” wires. The gated wire was low enough that I could step over it so I did so, gingerly. I set to picking and had to sort through older, woody beans to find younger, more tender ones and soon had a bowl full.

\n

I retraced my steps, being careful not to brush the wires, in case they were live, and plugged everything back in. I cleaned the beans like Grandma taught me, remembering her old, knotty fingers working over them, and soon had a whole “mess” of beans to cook up. Mr. FixIt had fried up the bacon for me while I was picking so I dumped that, and the bacon grease for good measure, into the pot. I forgot to bring an onion so I added onion powder, a little salt, and some black pepper and set the pot on the back burner to simmer. Before long, the familiar smells of my youth began to waft through the house. I had stretched out on Grandma’s bed for a little snooze, which came easily to the tune of the steady drumming of rain on the tin roof and the fans that circulated cool air through the house. It was heavenly!

\n

Supper consisted of the pre-cooked chicken heated up in a skillet with a little butter, a couple ears of corn, a fresh tomato from the Ponderosa garden cut in chunks, and the divine green beans with bacon. Top that off with a cold beverage while sitting on the front porch watching the rain and you have a meal worth more to me than any Five Star restaurant in the world! After supper, Mr. FixIt and I played Uno with his new set of cards that my brother sent him from Colorado. I am telling you what…that was a perfect day right there.

\n

As I wrote this last night, I was propped up with all the pillows on my Grandma’s bed, watching the rain and the evening birds at the feeder outside the bedroom window. Mr. FixIt was watching the evening news then Big Bang reruns. After the terrible news of the past couple of days, this was a welcome respite. My friend Jea is still very much on my mind and every time I think of her, I send up prayers for peace and whatever comfort she could possible attain in all of this. My comfort is knowing she has a relationship with God and that He will never leave her and her family.

\n

❤

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2018-08-02T01:30:56-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/08/02/all-things-green.html", "tags": ["Family","West Virginia","The Farm","Comfort","Peace","Presence"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/07/17/mile-tuneuporhow-emdr-saves-my.html", "title": "50,000 Mile Tune-Up...or...How EMDR Saves My Brain", "content_html": "

\"EMDR “EMDR reprograms your brain.”

\n
“Behold, I will bring it health and cure, and I will cure them, and will reveal unto them the abundance of peace and truth.”\n‭‭Jeremiah‬ ‭33:6‬ ‭KJV‬‬
\nA little over five years ago, I sat on a stool in the corner of an emergency room and watched them do CPR on my husband. It went on FOR-EV-ER. Stop. Start. Shock. X-Ray. Start. Stop. Check. Shock. Over and over and over. I sat with my hand clasped over my mouth to keep from screaming. I wrapped my feet intricately around and through the legs of the stool to keep from jumping up and running away. My shoulders slumped...my free hand dug into my thigh so I could feel something other than horror. And all of that...all of the valiant efforts, all of the shouts for more drugs, all of the hustle and bustle and orchestrated chaos could not save him. He died in spite of the best efforts of the Western Slope’s best and brightest. He died. And I could do nothing to stop it.\n

I ran away in my camper for three months. I busied myself. I “dated” a guy which turned out to be more about putting a tourniquet around my bleeding heart than it did about “love”. It had nothing to do with love. It had everything to do with escape. Then, one sunny afternoon at a fair in the park, a gentleman standing nearby choked. Like, Heimlich Maneuver choked. And I was frozen. Instead of jumping in as I had been trained to do…as I was certified to do…a movie started playing in my head as I stood in the park. Suddenly, I was back in the ER, sitting on the stool, watching them do CPR on my husband. It went on FOR-EV-ER. I mean, I KNEW I was in the park. So why was I “seeing” this rerun?

\n

The rerun scared the crap out of me. And, I immediately associated it with a medical emergency…both my husband’s heart attack and the gentleman choking on chicken. I began to dread what might happen if there was a real emergency and I couldn’t step up to the plate. I avoided being in situations where someone could get hurt or sick or…God forbid…NEED me. I suffered wave after wave…not only of grief, but also anxiety. To the point of vomiting uncontrollably for hours. Simply put, I was a mess.

\n

I went to see my doctor and asked her if she could recommend a grief counselor. And when I first talked with her, she said, “Ginny, I think you have PTSD.” She told me she wanted to do something called EMDR on me. Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. It is THE most accepted PTSD treatment. Normally, when we experience a disturbing event, our brains process it and file it away neatly in it’s appropriate folder in our memory bank and life goes on. But, when the event is associated with trauma…like watching prolonged CPR…something happens in the filing process and the memory gets stuck. It is like a video playing on a continuous loop…over and over and over. The thought becomes intrusive…meaning, unbidden. Uncontrollable. It creates fear. And it is terribly distressing.

\n

After the first EMDR treatment, the improvement was extraordinary. It’s non-invasive and is accomplished so simply. You sit in a comfortable chair, You conjure up the image that is giving you the most trouble…no matter how painful it is. You hang onto that thought while watching the practitioner move her finger back and forth, back and forth, back and forth across your field of vision. You follow her finger with your eyes. The rapid eye movement actually reprograms your brain. It can make the memory fade. It can change it into something else. It can process it and let it go into the file with all the other memories. And it can release you from the pain of seeing it over and over and over.

\n

I really did well. My anxiety level was lower. I had few, if any, real panic attacks. I still dealt with grief waves, but not the horrifying repetitious movie starring CPR. Then, about a year and a half ago, I started having episodes of anxiety again. About once a week or so, I would spend the night sick as a dog. I couldn’t keep anything down. I began to dread going places. I began to fear medical situations again. What began slowly, started cranking up more and more and with every insult to my central nervous system, it got worse. Surgery cranked it up. The episode with my aunt with dementia cranked it up. Flying cranked it up. Being away from Mr. FixIt cranked it up. I texted my grief counselor, Karen, and told her I thought I needed an EMDR tuneup so we scheduled it to coincide with my trip this week to visit my brother.

\n

As I caught up with her yesterday, I told her about Mr. FixIt and how happy we are. We talked about all the really good, positive changes that have come into my life. Then she asked what happened a year and a half ago that started the cycle again. I told her about the car accident. She asked what it was about that that triggered me and I surprised myself by bursting into tears. I sobbed and covered my face.

\n

“I thought I killed her!” I cried.

\n

“Who?”

\n

“The young girl in the backseat! Her head was lolled over, her face was bloodied. Her mama cradled her head in her hands and begged her to wake up. The man who was driving ran at me screaming, “You killed her! She was supposed to turn 17 this week!!!””

\n

I sobbed and Karen put her hand on my knee.

\n

“Oh, Ginny…that had to be terrifying.” She comforted me with her soft, caring voice. “I think that’s it. I think that is what has prodded your PTSD awake.”

\n

Just like grief, you don’t get “cured” of PTSD. It can raise it’s ugly head just like unexpected waves of grief can overtake you at any given moment.

\n

We did a session of EMDR. We repeated it eight times or so. With each subsequent series of back and forth movements, it felt as though someone were turning down the volume knob like a radio in my brain. The first series resulted in me feeling immediately calmer. The second made me feel like I had taken a step back and I wasn’t sitting in the driver’s seat of the truck. I was in the back seat. The third set had me standing behind the truck. The fourth set had me even further behind the truck…like zooming out on a long camera lens. I was surprised by the fifth set. I had a flash of the young girl going to prom. The implication being…she was fine and healthy. Each subsequent set of movement took me further and further into this relaxed, soft, safe place. It is remarkable something so simple can have such a huge impact.

\n

I had not cried about the accident up to that point. I had not processed, or even acknowledged, the trauma of thinking I had killed someone. Of being verbally and physically challenged by the other driver. And we all know that unprocessed trauma, like unprocessed grief…festers. It does not serve us to grit our teeth and white-knuckle our way through these episodes. From now on I will be proactive and get the help I need instead of trying to handle it on my own. I can’t tell you how much better I feel. When I got home from the mountains yesterday, my son-in-law’s dad made the observation that even my voice was different…relaxed, easy, slower. There is no shame in admitting you need help to work through something. We women think we are supposed to have it all together. I told a friend the other day that I just want to be normal. She smiled and said, “Sweetie, you ARE normal. Everybody has something they have to deal with. What you want is perfection!’ Ahhhh…she knows me well.

\n

None of us are perfect. Ask for help if you need it. Don’t try to just get by with a stiff upper lip. Just “getting though it” is no way to live. ❤

\n", "date_published": "2018-07-17T01:30:47-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/07/17/mile-tuneuporhow-emdr-saves-my.html", "tags": ["Travel","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","Growth","New Ideas","Gratitude","Comfort","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/07/08/rocky-mountain-high-altitude.html", "title": "Rocky Mountain High (Altitude)", "content_html": "

\"“The “The Reel Sisters” by Michelle Cummings

\n
“When he came down from the mountain, great crowds followed him. And behold, a leper came to him and knelt before him, saying, \"Lord, if you will, you can make me clean.\" And Jesus stretched out his hand and touched him, saying, \"I will; be clean.\" And immediately his leprosy was cleansed. And Jesus said to him, \"See that you say nothing to anyone, but go, show yourself to the priest and offer the gift that Moses commanded, for a proof to them.\"”\n‭‭Matthew‬ ‭8:1-4‬ ‭ESV‬‬
\nI’m finally acclimating to the altitude. It always takes me three days to start feeling like myself when I first get here. I go through everything from feeling lethargic to feel nauseated to sever headache. I take a supplement when I get there called “Altitude Adjustment”. I get it at a ski shop. I think it really helps, but who knows? Maybe it’s three days whether I take it or not. At any rate, I am always glad to get those three days behind me.\n

In the past, I’ve made the mistake of heading to the mountains as soon as I get here. I lived here for forty years and never considered the altitude to be a problem until I moved to West Virginia. But anymore, I can’t just jump in and start playing at 5,280 feet. It doesn’t hurt you to take your time anyway. I’ve really enjoyed leisurely morning coffee with my son-in-law’s parents, drawing and playing with Little, visiting with the kids, having lunch with my nephew, reading my friend Michelle’s new book and taking naps.

\n

I went to Red Rocks Church last night. It is very similar to our home church in Parkersburg. There was a pastor visiting from Dallas who spoke on the Sermon on the Mount and the healing of the leper. The underlying premise was encouraging us to run TOWARDS the messes in our lives. We usually try to avoid the ugly, uncomfortable, messy parts of life or people. Running towards the mess gives us the opportunity to extend true love to marginalized people…people who may, like the leper, go most of their lives not feeling the love of another human being. As always, I came out feeling uplifted and renewed.

\n

I’m heading to the mountains for a few days. There are people to see and places to go. I’ll bring you along for the ride! ❤️

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2018-07-08T01:30:15-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/07/08/rocky-mountain-high-altitude.html", "tags": ["Faith","Colorado","Travel","Overcoming Obstacles","Comfort"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/07/03/good-selfcare.html", "title": "Good Self-Care", "content_html": "

\"Pedicure\" “Taking good care of yourself is vitally important when you are experiencing the added stress of grief.”

\n
“Do not neglect the gift you have, which was given you by prophecy when the council of elders laid their hands on you. Practice these things, immerse yourself in them, so that all may see your progress. Keep a close watch on yourself and on the teaching. Persist in this, for by so doing you will save both yourself and your hearers.”\n‭‭1 Timothy‬ ‭4:14-16‬ ‭ESV‬
\nWomen are the first to put our needs on the back burner in deference to those we care for. Add “widow” to that and there’s a big “Why bother?” component. Especially during the first year or two. And, honestly, that’s when you need it the most. Grief is hard enough to navigate without letting our “Why bother?” mind take over.\n

I remember the first time I got a pedicure after Mr. Virgo died. I literally cried at the touch of human hands on my feet. Something in my soul woke up a tiny, tiny bit. After that, I made it a habit to get a pedi every month and a full body massage at least every two months just to feel a human connection. It doesn’t have to cost a lot to get pampered a little. When money was tight, the simplest thing like getting my hair washed was heavenly. And it only cost $5 at the salon in Walmart.

\n

Once I started going, each subsequent visit woke me more and more and really helped me balance my loss with an awareness of my surroundings and my presence THERE, not THEN. I realized I’d been holding that moment of his death in the forefront of my mind which was like pushing instant replay on the DVR. It didn’t serve me well.

\n

Probably the biggest obstacle I faced practicing good self-care was going out to a restaurant for dinner alone. I put on my bravest face and informed the hostess I would be dining alone so we could avoid that piteous “Just one?” As I sat in the booth, I ached for my husband’s presence. It was everything I could do to sit there and not run out in tears. But I was determined to start normalizing my present circumstances. I could not concentrate on the menu and just asked the waitress for a good salad with protein on top…salmon, chicken, it didn’t matter. As she left, I made myself look at the others in the restaurant. The couples laughing and conversing were totally oblivious to what the future would surely hold for one of them. I had my iPad with me as I had planned to write a post while I was there. Instead, I pulled up my favorite photo of Mr. Virgo and propped the iPad up against the bread basket. I proceeded to carry on an inner dialog with my sweetheart as I had my first dinner alone in a restaurant…”with him”.

\n

Self-care is not selfish. It is not self-indulgent. It is important for your mental and physical well-being. Don’t ignore that. ❤

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2018-07-03T01:30:47-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/07/03/good-selfcare.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Comfort"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/06/27/its-popsicle-time.html", "title": "It’s Popsicle Time!", "content_html": "

\"Popsicle\" “There’s nothing more soothing than a Popsicle when you are recovering from surgery!”

\n
“For I will restore health to you, and your wounds I will heal, declares the Lord...'”\n‭‭Jeremiah‬ ‭30:17‬ ‭ESV‬‬
\nI cannot remember a time in my life that didn’t include Popsicles. One of my earliest memories is my mom breaking a twin pop to share with my brother on a hot summer day. Orange was always my favorite, but grape runs a close second. Or is it cherry? I never liked banana. Other than that, it was fair game.\n

As I was recuperating from this surgery, some things became apparent to me. The last time I had surgery was in 1999 when I had my sinuses done. Not a pleasant surgery with nasal splints and sleeping sitting up in a recliner. But still, I was 46. It was a relative walk in the park. As we…ummmm, “ripen”…we don’t bounce back quite as fast as we used to. Anesthesia and 3-4 Vicodin over a 24 hour period and I was toast. The pain was well-controlled, but I just hate the feeling narcotics gives me so I switched to Tylenol. Everything was going along pretty well, except I was really tired. Then, Monday night the pain hit. A burning, stabbing pain deep in the area where the tumor was removed kept me awake all night. I finally drifted off around 5:00am and slept a couple of hours.

\n

As I lay there awake, I read the Bible, did my devotionals, caught up with everyone on Facebook, chatted with my son-in-law’s mom in the middle of the night, and Googled “pain after excisional biopsy of the breast”. It seems to be pretty normal to get to the fourth or fifth day and start feeling some pretty significant twinges in the surgical area. For one thing, all the numbing and anesthesia is completely gone. Things are starting to knit back together and that means some nerve pain as you heal. The area where my tumor was is directly behind the nipple and that is some pretty tender territory. Remember nursing? That little baby latching on with jaws of steel could send you through the roof. Imagine getting sliced and diced in that general area and no sweet baby to distract you.

\n

I gave up trying to sleep and headed to town with Mr. FixIt for several errands. When we were finished, we went to the farm so he could finish mowing. I spoke with my uncle on Monday and he and my aunt (his and my mom’s sister) are coming Thursday for an overnight visit. I needed to get the house in tip top shape for company so I spent the afternoon fixing up the three beds with fresh sheets, airing out the house, and sweeping up a winter’s worth of dead Asian Lady Bugs in the upstairs bedrooms. I washed bedding and fluffed and primped everything to perfection. I’m really looking forward to them coming and staying the night. It’s my first family company since I took over the caretaking duties at the farm. This is the aunt who lived at the farm for years and it is her first visit back since she went to live with her brother. I want her to enjoy it and feel pampered.

\n

I’ll make them some yummy treats for Thursday. His favorite is yellow cake with penuche frosting. Hers is butterscotch pie. I’m so excited to see them! We’ll drive up the new road behind the farm that goes out to the compressor station they are building. That might be bittersweet for them. I know it is for me.

\n

And now, the news we have all been waiting for. I received my biopsy report yesterday. The tumor was indeed a fibroadenoma. It is the most common benign breast mass. Benign = NOT CANCER! The other day I was talking about when I was prayed over and anointed. And it turns out to be benign. I want to point out something. Yes, God can still heal. He can perform miracles. AND…there are plenty of wonderful, GOOD Christians who pray faithfully and they still get cancer. Cancer doesn’t play favorites. It doesn’t discriminate. It doesn’t care if you are rich or poor, black or white or any other color of the rainbow. It doesn’t care if you’re a Christian or a Jew or a Muslim or an atheist. It doesn’t care. Something triggers cells to multiply abnormally. It’s as simple as that. My faith tells me God can answer prayers. And sometimes…unfortunately…the answer is no and a bad diagnosis comes. It is one of the horrible thieves that rob us of life and health. I am very grateful that my (and your) prayers were answered in a positive way. Thank you so much for caring. Now I don’t have to worry about that anymore. Just rest and heal and head to Colorado in a week!!! ❤

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2018-06-27T01:30:05-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/06/27/its-popsicle-time.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Hope","Positive Energy","West Virginia","The Farm","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Peace","Wisdom","Humbled","Presence"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/06/17/drink-coffeepray-boldly.html", "title": "Drink Coffee...Pray Boldly", "content_html": "

\"Prayer “Pray BOLDLY at every opportunity…even at coffee with the girls.”

\n
“If you don’t know what you’re doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You’ll get his help, and won’t be condescended to when you ask for it. Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought. People who “worry their prayers” are like wind-whipped waves. Don’t think you’re going to get anything from the Master that way, adrift at sea, keeping all your options open.”\n‭‭James‬ ‭1:5-8‬ ‭MSG‬‬
\nYesterday was coffee day with the girls...those magnificent ‘71 Divas from my high school class. We didn’t all know each other in high school. We really became most acquainted through Facebook and efforts to gather as many classmates as possible for class reunions, dinners, picnics, and the like. We are, all to often it seems, meeting at funeral homes anymore. I decided four years ago us gals need to get together and form a tribe...a sense of community of the feminine...when I came back to West Virginia to live. Now, we look at our monthly meetings as caffeine fueled talk therapy and I’ve seldom missed it.\n

There weren’t as many gals gathered yesterday. Illness, hospitalization, vacations, and general summer business kept many of our regulars away. There were also a few who came that don’t get to attend very often. It’s always a different group but the dynamic is the same. We are there to have fun, let our hair down, laugh a lot, and offer support to one another as we learn what’s new in each other’s lives.

\n

My friend Diane came and brought me one-third of my birthday present. She called the other day and wanted to meet up with me. We had a miscommunication and she ended up waiting for 45 minutes out at the farm and when it got too hot and I didn’t show up, she went home. She had to take my gifts with her…two-thirds of which were perishable. Yesterday, she gave me my card. Imagine my dismay when I learned of the flowers and chocolate covered strawberries she had brought me Wednesday! I felt so awful about that…she went to so much trouble. But, we laughed it off. She gave the flowers to a friend she had dinner with that night and ate the strawberries on the way home so all was not lost!

\n

When the majority of the gals had left for the day, my friend Lisa and I sat and talked to one of our friends who hung behind. She confided that we looked like someone who could help her. She had a prayer request. We talked about it a while, offering advice and comfort. When she asked for prayers, Lisa (you remember her from a previous post a month or two ago) took our friend’s hand and said, “Well, let’s just pray now.” The three of us sat in a very public area of the historic hotel where we gather, held hands and prayed together. Boldly. Unashamed. As a matter of fact, I didn’t even think about it until later.

\n

There was a time in my life when I looked at people praying over their meal in a restaurant or holding hands together in public, praying, and I felt…I don’t know…uncomfortable, self-conscious, embarrassed for them? I was decidedly unenlightened in those days yet I thought I was SO evolved. In the last several years, I have become much bolder with prayer. There is no reason to feel ashamed or embarrassed to offer prayer anytime the Spirit moves you or you are asked. I was really happy to be able to pray with my friends. I always ask God to bring me more prayer opportunities and the bravery to carry them out. It is an honor and a privilege.

\n

Today is Father’s Day. For some of you, it is the first without your loved one and the firsts are hard…and sometimes the third and the tenth and….. Please know that I will pray boldly for you today that you know God is with you to offer comfort and solace in your broken places. You are so loved! ❤

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2018-06-17T01:30:55-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/06/17/drink-coffeepray-boldly.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Prayer","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","God","Wisdom","Courage","Humbled","Presence","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/06/10/these-dreams.html", "title": "These Dreams", "content_html": "

\"Moonlight “My dreams have returned!”

\n

Something changed a couple of weeks ago. I started dreaming again. Oh, I’m sure I’ve been dreaming. We do every night. But when I lost Mr. Virgo, I lost my dreams. I couldn’t remember them at all. And suddenly, I’ve started remembering them. Their complexity is increasing. I’m recalling more detail. I even see some color creeping back in at the edges.

\n

This is a huge deal. Not remembering my dreams made me feel dead inside. Like a still body of water with no oxygen. Stagnant. I’m still not back to those epic, Academy Award worthy, epic dreams, but this is a far cry better than what I have been experiencing for over five years now.

\n

On the other side of that, the only real dreams I remembered since Mr. Virgo died were the ones with him in them. Those have been nice. I still may dream of him from time to time. I don’t know. Something feels different in this.

\n

Over the five years I’ve been on this path, there have been points…benchmarks…where I feel something changes. Like walking up stairs out of a dark, dank basement. Each step brings me closer to the light…to the fresh air…to the sunshine. I have long stretches now of light. Sometimes I take a step or two back down. Rarely, it’s more like four or five. That’s where I was two or three weeks ago. I couldn’t figure out what was bringing me down. Then I realized…there doesn’t HAVE to be a reason. That’s how grief works. Maybe it was the way the light was shining through the window. Maybe it was my upcoming 65th birthday and Medicare. Maybe it was worrying about this breast biopsy and realizing dealing with health issues may become more common in the coming years. Maybe it is the decline in the health of those I love. I don’t know.

\n

Whatever the reason, my dreams are back and I’m relieved. Silly, nonsensical, memorable dreams. Being on this side of the wave always leaves me feeling more grateful. ❤️

\n

““We both had dreams,” they answered, “but there is no one to interpret them.” Then Joseph said to them, “Do not interpretations belong to God? Tell me your dreams.””\n‭‭Genesis‬ ‭40:8‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n", "date_published": "2018-06-10T01:30:17-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/06/10/these-dreams.html", "tags": ["Grief","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/05/18/knitting-at-the-old-campground.html", "title": "Knitting at the Old Campground", "content_html": "

\"Knitting\" “Knitting at the campground.”

\n

What a wonderful day. Several of us got out a “work in progress” and did some hand work yesterday. One gal was working on a woodcarving. One was crocheting. Two of us were knitting. It was peaceful. These are women of faith so as we worked, we shared stories of our faith walk. We spoke of the many ways God has blessed us, the lessons we have learned along the way. It reminded me of the early farm communities when the women would gather at someone’s home, or the local Grange, and spend the day quilting, cooking, sharing. We don’t get much of that this day and age and I feel the younger generations are sorely missing something. Their lives are so busy…athletic teams, music lessons, social events…young mothers today spend all their free time in cars shuttling the kids to event after event. I wish they had the peace just spending a few hours knitting and chatting with like-minded women could afford them. I hope they don’t wait too long to figure out how important these relationships are. And, these skills.

\n

I was talking with a friend the other day. If the internet crashed tomorrow, if there was a sudden catastrophe and there was no power grid, the highest prized people would be the ones who know how to hunt, grow, prepare, and preserve food…ie farmers. Simple country folk. We’ve become so dependent on electronics for everything, it’s scary. I’m the first to admit, I am a tech head, but I know how to do the things that need to be done to survive. I worry for our future generations. I want to make sure my girls know how to do the things they need to do to survive beyond the grocery store.

\n

I don’t live a stressful life, by any stretch of the imagination, but I’ve got to tell you…I’m feeling pretty mellow after three nights in TOW-Wanda and hanging with the Girl Campers. ❤️

\n

“By faith Noah, being warned by God concerning events as yet unseen, in reverent fear constructed an ark for the saving of his household. By this he condemned the world and became an heir of the righteousness that comes by faith.”\n‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭11:7‬ ‭ESV‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2018-05-18T01:30:45-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/05/18/knitting-at-the-old-campground.html", "tags": ["Travel","TOW-Wanda!","Fun","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","goRVing","God","Girl Camper","Girl Campers"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/05/16/im-walkin-on-sunshine.html", "title": "I’m Walkin’ on Sunshine", "content_html": "

\"Coffee “Sitting in the morning sun, coffee in hand, Country Living Magazine…birds and roosters entertaining me. It’s a beautiful life!”

\n

One of summer’s delights in the east…a warm morning spent outside reading and sipping my morning coffee. We’ve hit the summer thunderboomer circuit early this year here in West Virginia. The skies are brilliantly clear in the morning. The humidity is high from the rain the afternoon before. The temperature soars by noon and the thunderclouds begin to build till they boil over. Thunder, lightning, hail, high winds all can play havoc with your plans.

\n

Mowing seems to be the big thing around here in the summer. I have to say, I did not miss lawn care and home maintenance in the years I traveled and lived in TOW-Wanda. It was a welcome break. But now that I have the chance to dive into the great outdoors and get dirty and sweaty, I have to admit, it beats going to a gym any day of the week.

\n

I mowed with the self-propelled push mower at the farm yesterday. What a workout! The yard is well over an acre, the temperature in the high eighties, the humidity sticky and thick. With my propensity towards heat exhaustion, I only mowed 15-20 minutes at a time, then took a break to rehydrate and lay in front of the fan. At that rate, it took me five hours to complete. It’s so beautiful when it’s finished. I took a few moments to just wander around and enjoy the surroundings. The rhododendron is just about to burst into bloom, as are the irises and peonies. The farm cats lazed around beneath the Rose of Sharon and the huge hydrangea bush along the creek. While the flowering quince is fading, the spice bush is in full bloom. I love this time of year.

\n

We are getting things geared up here at the Ponderosa to prepare for a summer of entertaining. Mr. FixIt has been working in the pool to get it open. We still need to pressure wash the deck but will wait for a dry spell. I’m heading out today for another road trip. This time I’ll be camping with the Girl Campers at a State Park in Ohio for a week. It’s a Mister Sister event so my mister will be joining me this weekend. I love camping with the girls! This year, our hostess…my dear friend Gail…is going to teach me to spin wool for sock yarn. I’ll have time to sit and knit on my socks and finally read my friend Michelle Cummins’ new book, The Reel Sisters. Peace and quiet in the beautiful woods surrounding one of my favorite campgrounds.

\n

As I sit here on the deck in the warm sunshine, a nice breeze blowing, listening to the rooster down the road, reading Country Living Magazine…my heart is overflowing with the blessings of my life. I’m such a far cry from the early days of my grief. The contrast is startling. The heart can mend itself…scarred, certainly. But infinitely full of hope. ❤️

\n

“So I rejoice, and I am glad. Even my body has hope.”\n‭‭Psalms‬ ‭16:9‬ ‭INternational Children’s Bible

\n", "date_published": "2018-05-16T06:39:50-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/05/16/im-walkin-on-sunshine.html", "tags": ["Faith","Travel","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","West Virginia","The Farm","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Peace","Wisdom","Humbled","Presence","Girl Camper","Girl Campers","Choices","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/05/05/dream-a-little-dream-of.html", "title": "Dream a Little Dream of Me 2.0", "content_html": "
\n
    \n\"Dream“Is this a dream?”
\n
\nMr. Virgo has been gone over five years now. In those five years, I have had two or three dreams of him. I’ve wanted more. I begged God for more back in the first couple of years. Just one more conversation. One more hug. Hear his voice one last time. Unfortunately, I had erased all of his voicemails just three days before he died. I had a couple of messages on the answering machine at home, but he didn’t sound happy because he was trying to reach me and kept getting the machine instead. Those just make me sad because he really left great voicemails. I hadn’t heard his voice in so long. I wasn’t sure what he sounded like anymore. Then...he came to me in a dream a couple of nights ago.\n

In the dream, Mr. FixIt and I were in Florida at a flea market. You know, the kind with the roof but the sides are all open to allow air flow? It was really crowded but no one was looking at each other. We were all busy looking at merchandise. I walked around a small group of women. I was looking down and I saw a pair of familiar men’s shoes. Rockports. With the man in them. I slowly raised my eyes and saw the gray dress pants, the black leather belt, the crisply ironed long sleeved shirt. It was a pale blue. The tie a stylish navy with slight flecks of red. I was so taken by the familiarity of the clothing that it took me a moment to comprehend what was happening. Suddenly, I jerked my eyes upward and there he was! That shock of meticulously groomed silver hair, wire-rimmed glasses. Curiously…he didn’t have a beard. He was clean-shaven when he died. I assumed that must carry over into the afterlife.

\n

I sucked my breath in with a start.

\n

“It’s YOU!” I said.

\n

Then…he spoke to me!

\n

“Well…it’s about time, don’t you think?”

\n

I heard him and saw him as clear as if he were actually standing in front of me. I walked up to him and he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me in close. I laid my head on his chest. I couldn’t hear a heartbeat.

\n

“They told me you died.” I whispered.

\n

“Oh, baby doll. I just went somewhere else.” He didn’t offer anything else. Suddenly, I remembered Mr. FixIt was with me. I turned to him and he was looking at an item in the booth next to me. I had a momentary feeling of awkwardness. How was I going to introduce Mr. FixIt to Mr. Virgo? I needn’t have worried because soon it became obvious…Mr. FixIt couldn’t see him.

\n

I turned back to Mr. Virgo. He was watching this new love of mine. He seemed to be studying him. Finally, he turned to me and smiled the sweetest smile.

\n

“You tell him I think he’s doing a great job, will you?” The two men I loved most in the world were just steps apart but a world away from one another with me as the common denominator.

\n

“I will,” I promised. “He’ll love knowing you said that.”

\n

And, with that came the call of the mockingbird in the trumpet vine outside the bedroom window, putting up a ruckus over some interloper getting too near her nest. I woke up.

\n

There was a time in my grief when that would have slayed me. But I woke up feeling so happy that I got to “see” him again. That I got to “hear” him again. That I got to “feel” that big bear hug from this handsome man. Soon…as with all dreams…he began to recede to the back room of my mind. I was tickled to pieces that he got to see Mr. FixIt with me.

\n

“Thank you.” I whispered into the early dawn light. “It was good to see you again. Don’t be such a stranger!” ❤

\n

“Long ago, at many times and in many ways, God spoke to our fathers by the prophets,”\n‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭1:1‬ ‭ESV‬‬

\n", "date_published": "2018-05-05T01:30:54-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/05/05/dream-a-little-dream-of.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Peace"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/05/03/national-widows-day-may-rd.html", "title": "National Widows Day - May 3rd", "content_html": "

\"National “National Widows Day - May 3rd”

\n

National Widows Day sprung from Widow Wednesday…a grassroots program designed to assist widows and widowers in the community with small tasks normally completed by the late spouse. Widow Wednesday was originally founded by Jimmy Chouteau, a Kansas City insurance agent. Part of his job was working with retirees, many of whom were left on their own and were struggling to do things around the house while also dealing with grief. Sometimes it was as easy as screwing in a lightbulb or helping write checks. And sometimes it was just spending some time in conversation. Jimmy and his family took time form is busy insurance agency to devote Wednesdays to assisting widows and widowers in need.

\n

In the spirit of Widow Wednesday and National Widows Day, reach out to a widow or widower in your life today. Ask them if there is anything you can do today to help them out. And, if there isn’t, ask him/her out for coffee or dinner. Take them a potted plant. Or just sit on the porch and visit a bit. Then, take some time every Wednesday to check in and help out wherever you can. You never know how much you can help someone coping with grief just by showing up and listening and letting them know they are not forgotten. It’ll warm your heart. ❤

\n

“In all things I have shown you that by working hard in this way we must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’ “”\n‭‭Acts‬ ‭20:35‬ ‭ESV‬‬

\n

#WidowWednesday, #NationaWidowsDay, #Love

\n", "date_published": "2018-05-03T01:30:03-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/05/03/national-widows-day-may-rd.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","Comfort"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/04/29/eating-my-way-through-the.html", "title": "Eating my Way Through the South", "content_html": "

\"Southern “A Big Southern Breakfast”

\n

Ok, I literally ate whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted it on this trip and I think I made the right choice. Life is too short. I don’t eat like this all the time…it was vacation!

\n

The last hurrah was in Williamsburg, VA at the Capitol Pancake House. That name alone drew me in. But when I saw the parking lot was full, I knew we had stumbled on something good. I didn’t have to even taste this to know it was going to be over the top delicious. (This photo didn’t catch the short stack of pancakes on the side! Wow!)

\n

I am telling you what…I learned how they spell “love” in the south. B-A-C-O-N! Or, it is G-R-I-T-S? Either way, this was the icing on the cake, so to speak. It was the best way to close out a stellar vacation. I didn’t have to do anything or be anywhere at a certain time for a whole week. I’m feel relaxed, refreshed, renewed. A huge thank you to Mr. FixIt for sharing so much with me…I had a blast! Thank you God for safe travels! And…truly, is there anything better than crawling back in your own bed??? ❤

\n

“You will be blessed when you come in and blessed when you go out.”\n‭‭Deuteronomy‬ ‭28:6‬ ‭NIV‬

\n", "date_published": "2018-04-29T01:30:09-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/04/29/eating-my-way-through-the.html", "tags": ["Travel","Fun","Gratitude","Comfort","God"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/04/19/start-the-conversation.html", "title": "Start the Conversation", "content_html": "
\n\n
\nMy friend Kimberly C. Paul interviewed me as one the first guests on her “Death by Design Podcast. She is a TedX speaker and the author of the recently release book, Bridging the Gap. (I’ll leave a link at the bottom of the page.) Kimberly worked for 18 years in Hospice and has gathered her experiences and stories together. She will have you smiling and crying and thinking as she covers the lessons her hospice patients taught her about life...and more importantly...death.\n

Death is largely swept under the rug in our society. We don’t want to talk about it. Too sad. Too scary. Too icky. We will plan the heck out of a surprise birthday party but leave our death up to our spouse or kids to clean up after. It’s like the baby that covers his eyes and thinks you can’t see him. You aren’t fooling anyone. We’re all going to die. Why not do it on our own terms?

\n

I was deeply moved by our former First Lady, Barbara Bush’s final decision. She’d been battling COPD and had endured numerous hospitalizations when she finally decided she didn’t want any more. It was ok. She’d made peace. I’m sure she’d made arrangements. She said, “No, I’m done.” She sat up in bed and laughed and drank good bourbon and surrounded herself with love. What grace.

\n

I’ve been hearing stories about my friend Fred who died this week. He had made a special point to visit and call people as he prepared for his own transition.

\n

Mr. FixIt and I arrived at my cousin’s house yesterday afternoon. We had a family dinner and laughed and told stories and then we talked about his decision to stop therapy for his mesothelioma. The prognosis is he’ll survive another six months. That’s two years longer than we first expected to have and we’ve been so grateful that the last two years have been so wonderful. We don’t want him to leave us. There will be a hole in our hearts. AND, we accept his decision. His wonderful family will support him and walk him home.

\n

I am providing my cousin’s wife with resources and phone calls and support and lots of love. I’m so happy to hear they’ve been having all the conversations they need to have. They done all the planning and the financial decisions. They’ve talked about their feelings. He’s made the decision to donate his body for research on mesothelioma. I am so encouraged by their ability to approach this with a steadfast love and respect.

\n

Starting the conversation isn’t easy but so important. It’s a gift you can give those who are left behind. ❤

\n

www.deathbydesign.com/buy-bridg…

\n

“Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.”\n‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭11:14‬ ‭ESV‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2018-04-19T01:30:45-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/04/19/start-the-conversation.html", "tags": ["Faith","Comfort","Courage","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/04/14/sacrosanct.html", "title": "Sacrosanct", "content_html": "

\"Two “It’s good to love again.”

\n

Fridays. Since we first started dating, Fridays have been declared “sacrosanct”…too important or valuable to be interfered with. We don’t make plans with anyone on Fridays. That’s OUR day. We go where we want, do what we want. No obligations other than to enjoy each other’s company to the fullest. I’ve come to love Fridays. We look forward all week long to our special day. It’s special because we declared it so.

\n

We packed up from our week at the farm and headed back to the Ponderosa yesterday. We went to Walmart and bought oil and a filter so I could change the oil on my truck before we leave next week for the beach. It was only the second time I’ve changed the oil and Mr. FixIt sat right there and answered any questions I had. He handed me tools. And he offered words of encouragement when things didn’t go quite as smoothly as they had the first time. First, I tried using the creeper…that thing you lay on and roll under the vehicle. The new ramps Mr. FixIt bought aren’t as high as the old ones and with the creeper under me, I was feeling way too cramped. So I scooted back out and started over by wiggling under the truck. The engine was still pretty warm so the oil was runny and when I took the plug out of the oil pan, it sprayed everywhere. All over me…in my hair. What a mess. But, eventually…I got it done.

\n

I have never had a qualm about doing hefty projects around the house, but I always deferred things like changing the oil to the man of the house or the guy at Jiffy Lube. It never occurred to me to do these things. But after Mr. Virgo died, I felt so incompetent at so many things. I vowed I would learn how to do anything that needed doing so I would never feel that vulnerable again. Mr. FixIt is an excellent teacher and has infinite patience with me. At first, I think it bothered him a bit that I wanted to do things myself. It gives him great pleasure to do things for me. Now he seems to get a big kick out of watching me accomplish something and be so proud of myself.

\n

Loving after loss is different. I’m much more independent and assertive than I have ever been. This love encompasses fierce bravery and incredible tenderness. Case in point…I was putting laundry away yesterday when the song “At Last” came on the playlist. Out of the blue, I was standing in Rivers Restaurant on a crisp April day…dancing in Mr. Virgo’s arms. Our first, and only, dance was at our wedding reception. Nine times out of ten, I can hear that song and smile. Not yesterday. I sat on the edge of the bed and cried. It’s a short song. It was soon over and I dried my eyes and went on about my work. Later, I walked through the kitchen and Mr. FixIt was doing dishes. I stopped and watched him for a few moments. When he was finished, he turned and saw me standing there and smiled as he wiped his hands.

\n

“I love you more than I ever dreamed possible,” I said. “And, even with that deep love, I just sat on the bed and cried when “At Last” came on.”

\n

He knows the significance of the song. He opened his arms wide and drew me into his embrace. He held me close and whispered into my hair.

\n

“Of course you did, sweetheart. It brings back memories.”

\n

That’s all. No attempt to jolly me out of it. No rush to move me along and change the subject. Just honor. And love. And support. And validation. No one…no one could ever ask for anything more beautiful than that. What a wonderful man.

\n

I love Fridays. ❤

\n

“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.”\n‭‭1 Peter‬ ‭4:8‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n", "date_published": "2018-04-14T01:30:03-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/04/14/sacrosanct.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","Wisdom","Choices","Change","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/04/12/missing-my-mom.html", "title": "Missing My Mom", "content_html": "

\"Sickness “Do you miss your mom when you’re sick?”

\n

I felt perfectly fine all day yesterday. I ran errands and visited with people. Then, at the end of the day, I got my bangs cut and my stylist said she had a sore throat and felt a cold coming on. By the time I got home, I was feverish, achy, stuffy, coughing…just, ugh. I’m sure I couldn’t possibly have gotten it from her that quickly, but it sure came on fast.

\n

I came home, used my Zicam and took DayQuil and slept for an hour. Used my inhaler. Took my vitamins. Drank tea. Did a tribal dance and twirled a dead chicken over my head. I’m kidding about the dead chicken, but I’d do just about anything to keep from getting a full fledged cold.

\n

Remember when you were a little kid and your mom would take care of you when you were sick? I liked that. Mom would put her cool hand on my fevered brow and go get the thermometer. She would give me a couple of baby aspirin or maybe a piece of that hideous Aspergum. Then she’d make toast and tea. Or milk toast…a slice of toast with warm milk poured over it and sprinkled with sugar. That I wasn’t crazy about. Sometimes she would cuddle me on her lap and sing “Bye-o Baby Buntin” then she would tuck me in and turn down the lights. If I was really sick, she pulled a chair up by my bed and read stories to me till I went to sleep. I miss my mom. Even today when I’m sick, I miss my mom. I have Mr. FixIt, thank God. But nothing ever replaces your mama’s hand on your fevered brow. ❤

\n

“Heal me, Lord, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for you are the one I praise.”\n‭‭Jeremiah‬ ‭17:14‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2018-04-12T01:30:31-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/04/12/missing-my-mom.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Comfort","Grace"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/03/13/calming-the-waters.html", "title": "Calming the Waters", "content_html": "

\"Calm “Psalm 107:29 …the waves of the sea were hushed”

\n

I woke up yesterday after a fitful night. I didn’t close my eyes till 3:30 in the morning…ruminating. That’s what my brain does WAY too often. Good reason this time, though. I awoke and the first thought was…this is the day. It’s here. How do I feel?

\n

I felt…ok. Not up, but not down. Just…there.

\n

I did my devotional. I read your kind and supportive comments. And I started my day. Mr. FixIt asked if I wanted to go to town with him, but I told him I really just wanted to stay home. A little self care was in order. I spoke with people yesterday I hadn’t talked to in years. People reached out to me. I got a ton of virtual hugs. And a bunch of real live ones. It was good.

\n

I love how God answers prayers. He stilled the waters of my soul and filled me with peace yesterday. I puttered in the kitchen and made pot roast…one of my go to comfort foods. After dinner, Mr. FixIt and I watched The Voice…one of my go to comfort activities. I ended the day with a phone call with my sister-in-law, Robyn…one of my go to, all-time favorite people. It was a peaceful day.

\n

The other day, I was reviewing my social media accounts. I just don’t reach people other than word of mouth. The word “grief” is not in the name of my blog and while grief is not my only topic, it is still a big part of what goes on here…at least in the archives and when the waves come. When I created my Twitter account, Marshmallow Ranch had too many letters to go in the name so I abbreviated it making it even harder to find. I sat back and thought about it a while and suddenly a name popped in my head. “The Grief Maven”. Maven is Yiddish for expert and while not all people know the origins, enough people have an understanding of the urban definition, however tangentially. I created a Twitter account…@griefmaven…and started just putting out some memes I created with stuff I share about grief here. In one week I’ve had more activity than all the five years of the other account. A lesson learned in social media marketing.

\n

I posted a tweet yesterday about it being the five year angelversary and within an hour I met two other widows who lost their husbands within a couple of weeks on either side of me. I love that. People I never would have had the opportunity to meet come together because of this blog. God stuff…very cool.

\n

So, I ended my day in a good space. The waters were stilled and I’m ready to see what good things come next. ❤

\n

“He stilled the storm to a whisper; the waves of the sea were hushed.”\n‭‭Psalm‬ ‭107:29‬ ‭NIV‬

\n", "date_published": "2018-03-13T01:30:29-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/03/13/calming-the-waters.html", "tags": ["Faith","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Comfort","Grace","Peace","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/03/04/endings-and-beginnings.html", "title": "Endings and Beginnings", "content_html": "

\"Daffodils Daffodils

\n

I watched my husband die. It was fast. It seemed relatively painless. Not pain free, but not unbearable. He seemed to take everything in stride with a certain…resignation. Like he knew what was coming, so why fight it? Interestingly…it was like that for me too, looking back on it. I’m sure I was in shock, because every time I ever pictured what would happen if/when he died, it certainly wasn’t with me sitting on a stool in the corner of the room answering medical questions in a flat monotone. I wasn’t beating my chest or screaming or even crying. I don’t remember crying till I saw my kids.

\n

As hard as that was to go through, I cannot…simply cannot imagine what people go through who lose their loved one to a terrible, slow, painful death like cancer or COPD or Alzheimer’s. My cousin’s wife came over Friday after making arrangements for her mother’s funeral. Her mom had esophageal cancer. We sat together and I listened to her tell me about the last six months. The long nights. The conflicting medical information. The radiation and chemo. When she got to the night of her mother’s death, I was in such awe of her strength and courage. What she went through for her mom was heroic in my book. What I loved most was when her mom motioned to her, as if she needed to tell her something. When she bent down to listen, her mother kissed her on the cheek and took her last breath. My mother died alone in an ICU because I couldn’t get to her in time. She got a kiss on the cheek! I loved that for her because she will never, ever forget that loving gesture.

\n

\"Crocus\" Crocus

\n

Real death isn’t like the movies. Sometimes it’s that peaceful scene where the family gathers around and tells their loved one how important they were in their lives and how much they loved them. Sometimes there’s soft music and candlelight and kisses on cheeks. And sometimes they stop CPR after three hours and tell you they’re sorry. Is one way “better” than the other? Is there such a thing as a “good death”. I think there is, but it’s not always possible because death isn’t predictable. It isn’t a script.

\n

\"Crocus Crocus in the Spring

\n

Someone I love very much is dying. Not actively as in it’s imminent. But it’s coming. Everyone knows it’s coming. I love him and his entire family. For the last five years I have written a daily essay, much of it about grief. And when I talk with his wife, I feel woefully inadequate. I haven’t gone through that kind of death. I haven’t had to know it was coming for three years and fight the good fight and be strong and courageous and lose anyway. What do I say to her? How can I best serve her? I had no idea…so I asked. I told her how sorry I was that it was coming to this. I told her how much I love them both. I told her I knew she must be scared. And, I told her I was at a loss as to how best to help her. Then I asked her to tell me exactly what would help her the most right now. She said to pray. Pray for strength and courage for her. That I can do…in spades.

\n

\"Daffodils Daffodils in the Ditch

\n

Grief is something that touches all of us. If it hasn’t touched you yet, it will. Mr. FixIt and I were talking about it yesterday. After losing Mr. Virgo, I’ve gone and done the one thing I SWORE I would never, ever do again. I gave my heart away to love again…with wild abandon…knowing full well what it feels like to lose. That is either absolutely crazy or the absolute evidence that God can carry you through anything. I could lose this man tomorrow. Or next week or next year or thirty years from now. Or…I could be the first to go, who knows? I’m glad we don’t know exactly when we will die. It doesn’t pay to dwell on it…but we can’t deny it either. If there is an upside…and that is truly a stretch to even call it that…it’s having the time to say goodbye, to express everything you wanted to say, to make arrangements, to learn how to do the things your partner did, and to give them the gift of your service in their transition. As Ram Dass, says…”We are all just walking each other home.” ❤️

\n

“For here we do not have an enduring city, but we are looking for the city that is to come.”\n‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭13:14‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2018-03-04T02:30:19-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/03/04/endings-and-beginnings.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Positive Energy","Comfort","Peace","Wisdom","Aging","Presence"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/02/26/my-love-has-a-name.html", "title": "My Love Has a Name", "content_html": "

\"Praise\" “My Love Has a Name…Jesus”

\n

I am always pumped on Mondays. My “Monday Morning Motivation” begins Sunday when Mr. FixIt and I walk into church. I’ve never gone to a church that has been so uplifting. I have never in my life looked forward to Sundays like I do now! It is such an amazing feeling to carry God with me into my week.

\n

The Praise and Worship Team sang a new song yesterday by the Christian rock band, Jesus Culture called “Love Has a Name”. Our sermon series for the month of February was entitled “Love Handles”. Yesterday, Pastors Justin and Heather sat down and talked to us about 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 and put it in the perspective of our relationships. Let’s break it down.

\n

“Love is patient.” When Mr. FixIt takes an inordinate amount of time to type something out on his phone, my first instinct is to grab the phone and do it myself in about half the time. I’m not considering the fact that my fingers are half the size and I’ve spent a gazillion more hours typing on a keyboard as a writer than he has as a mechanical engineer designing tools. I have to remind myself to emulate God’s love…God’s perfect love…and be patient. It isn’t always easy, but I try.

\n

“Love is kind.” Show of hands…how many of you have cast a disparaging look at your significant other when he’s done something you think is stupid? How many have done the whole eye roll thing? That, in and of itself, is a very unkind thing to do. I’ve done it. I don’t like that I have. As a matter of fact, I read an article once by a marriage counselor and he said one of the tell tale signs that a marriage would fail was if one or the other partner rolled their eyes. It’s dismissive. It isn’t always easy, but I try.

\n

“It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.” I see this to mean those times when your significant other bests you in some way. Or you, him. Lording it over the other with one-upsmanship brings competition into the equation and that can be very damaging to a relationship. I remember Hubby #2 and I took an online IQ test and I came out higher than he did. He was a doctor and I always felt somewhat “less than”, for a number of reasons. I rubbed that in and it didn’t go over well. It isn’t always easy, but I try.

\n

“It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” You dishonor others by being disrespectful. This is a self-seeking behavior. Love is not easily angered. Pastor Heather said she heard something a long time ago that has always stuck with her. “Take the pause.” When something strikes you wrong, stop and take a breath before you lash out and say something you will regret later. That brings us to “no record of wrongs”. How many times have we held onto those slights and honed them to a rapier edge, only to slash our partner with them later. Maybe we “forgave” them, but brought it up anyway. It isn’t always easy, but I try.

\n

“Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.” Discord, cruelty, mean-spiritedness are evils that can take root in relationships, but the power of truth in real love is something you should always strive for. It isn’t always easy, but I try.

\n

“It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” You should always protect your love. Always trusting doesn’t mean being gullible, but being fair minded and believe in your spouse. Always hope for the best in your spouse. And always persevere…keep going, even when the going gets tough. It isn’t always easy, but I try.

\n

I have learned to love Jesus more than anyone or anything. Everyone…even those you hold the closest to your heart…will disappoint you. Jesus will never disappoint. If we hold him at the center of all equations, we have far greater chance of success in every relationship…family, work, friends, school…everywhere.

\n

This is the song they sang yesterday…”Love Has a Name”. My love has a name…Jesus. ❤

\n

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”\n‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭13:4-7‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n

youtu.be/cZOBtpJ0_…

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2018-02-26T02:30:45-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/02/26/my-love-has-a-name.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Uplifting Stories","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","God","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Presence","Monday Morning Motivation"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/02/24/ill-pray-for-you.html", "title": "I’ll Pray for You", "content_html": "

\"I’ll “I’ll Pray for You”

\n

How many times do we say that? Something happens to someone and we automatically say, “I’ll pray for you!” We hear of a tragedy and we say, “I’ll pray for you!” How many times do we say that…and forget to pray? Or, how about when you’re scrolling through Facebook and someone asks for prayers. We might type “Prayers!” Or “Done!” Or my personal favorite…”???” A furtive “God, please give this woman what she’s asking for.” These are good things, don’t get me wrong. But we can do so much better.

\n

I was working one afternoon after Mr. Virgo died and I noticed one of my coworkers was tearful. She was trying to hide it at her desk and I didn’t want to intrude. I got halfway down the hall when the Holy Spirit whispered…

\n

“Go to her…now.”

\n

“Awwww….c’mon. I’ve got a list of phone calls that would choke a horse! I haven’t even started the pharmacy refills yet. And I need to fax those reports. I’m really busy. Someone will help her. I’ll pray for her tonight when I get home.”

\n

“Go to her…NOW!”

\n

“Oooooooh…you mean…NOW! Sure!”

\n

I turned on my heel and went back to my coworker’s desk. I didn’t say anything. She didn’t look at me, but she knew I was there. Her shoulders slumped and shook with silent sobs. I placed my hand on her shoulder and she immediately leaned into me and cried harder.

\n

I whispered. “I don’t know what you’re going through right now…and I don’t need to know. But if you want, I would love to pray with you right now. Would that be ok?”

\n

She whispered back, “Yes! Yes, please!”

\n

I closed the door to her office, knelt beside her and took her hand. And prayed. I prayed for God’s love to wrap around my friend and comfort her. I prayed for strength and courage in whatever she was facing. I prayed God would use whatever trial she was walking through to bring her closer to him so she would know there was someone who always loved her, always had her back.

\n

It didn’t take long…just a couple minutes. My friend felt so much better afterwards and my work was still there, waiting for me. I felt better, too. Because, I actually did what I said I would do. By praying with my friend, I did more than placate her to make her feel better. I called on the living God…the Highest Power…to come into the situation and work on it.

\n

I once heard of a man in our church that was going through a rough patch. His friend was talking to him on the phone. They were both on the highway but several miles apart. The man asked his friend with the troubles to pull off at the next wide spot. Soon, he caught up and there, along I-70…the man placed his hand on his friend’s shoulder, lifted his other hand to the sky, and prayed. Right there for all to see.

\n

I don’t think you should ever miss the opportunity to pray with somebody. Of course, pray FOR them anytime. But pray WITH them whenever you can. It’s good for everyone. ❤

\n

“For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.””\n‭‭Matthew‬ ‭18:20‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2018-02-24T02:30:31-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/02/24/ill-pray-for-you.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Humbled","Presence"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/02/21/a-taste-of-spring.html", "title": "A Taste of Spring", "content_html": "

\"Burger “Burger al Fresco”

\n

One of the upsides of Facebook memories is documented progress. One of my readers shared a post yesterday that I wrote a year ago. I was declaring how gorgeous spring is in West Virginia. I observed the earth coming back to life, the shoots of spring bulbs exploding from the moist soil, the greening up of the world. I spoke of all the new babies being born in the fields surrounding the farm. And I talked about budding romances and how I was ready to try again. And here I am…a year later and in a relationship with a wonderful man. He is a constant reminder of how good God is to me.

\n

We awoke yesterday to the most gorgeous of early spring days. I had a dream. I don’t remember my dreams like I used to before Mr. Virgo died. And I seldom dream of him. I dreamt I was supposed to send Mr. Virgo a text every day with a scripture in it. Suddenly, he stopped responding to my texts. I looked everywhere for him. I asked everyone if they had seen him and they just stared blankly back at me. Six months went by and then a year, then three. No word. Then, out of the blue, someone told me he had “moved on”. I felt confused. Did he move on as in, he left me for someone else? When I was fully awake, I realized what “moved on” really meant. I had an instant wave of the creepy crawlies on the backs of my arms, then it went away and I was fine. Grief visits fleetingly sometimes…like a sparrow flitting in the brush just out of view.

\n

The temperature got up over 80 degrees. We had coffee by the pool and then headed to the farm. We cleaned inside and out. Mr. FixIt filled the bird feeders. I changed the spotlight on the three story barn. We stopped at the neighborhood grocer and bought a pound of fresh ground hamburger and sliced longhorn cheese. When we got home, we took the grill from the garage and put it on the deck by the pool and grilled burgers outside. It was sheer heaven to sit out in shorts and enjoy the evening.

\n

Some days get burned in your memory to keep for all time. That was yesterday. There were a lot of trees down from the saturated soil and the brisk winds earlier in the day. Baby calves lay in the muddy fields by their mamas. A cardinal sang in the forsythia bush by the side gate. Mr. FixIt took the drone he got for Christmas and went outside to “play” after supper. I heard a tree fall in the woods beyond the field. A rooster crowed in the distance. Neighbors waved as they passed by. My heart felt full and ached with the beauty of it all. Jesus promised he would make all things new one day. Spring is his way of giving us a taste of things to come.

\n

I am all too aware of how fragile this life is. It could be gone tomorrow. So I practice my word of the year and stay present. And I thank God for every moment. ❤️

\n

“He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.””\n‭‭Revelation‬ ‭21:5‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2018-02-21T02:30:19-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/02/21/a-taste-of-spring.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Hope","Positive Energy","West Virginia","The Farm","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/02/18/the-mountain.html", "title": "The Mountain", "content_html": "

\"Sunrise “My Hope is in You Alone” - MercyMe

\n

I was writing last night and listening to a channel on Amazon Music called “Relaxing Christian Music”. MercyMe came on and sang “Even If You Don’t”. It’s about those times when your faith is challenged by the hardships you face in life. It made me think of the losses so many are facing. There are seventeen mothers and fathers preparing to lay their children to rest this week. It is easy to ask questions like, “Where was God during all this?” “How can God let bad things happen to innocent people…especially children?”

\n

Life can be really difficult. It can be filled with challenges and unfulfilled dreams. Disappointments. Hurts. Horrors. And…it can be filled with absolutely unmovable mountains.

\n

It’s easier to maintain our faith when the skies are sunny and life is good. When we are knee deep in blessings and goodness rains down on us like a spring shower, we’re good. But…what happens when the darkness comes? How do we maintain our faith when God seems to have abandoned us and is far, far away?

\n

God is capable of all things. I know he can do anything. I’ve seen him do it. When I was a little girl and I sat at my grandma’s knee, I asked her how she knew Jesus was who he said he was. How did she know he really walked on water? She smiled knowingly and patted my hand. “You just have to have faith, pet.” she said in her wise grandma way. It took me most of my life to absorb that…and to believe it.

\n

Faith.

\n

What is faith? The Bible tells us faith is the “substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” The substance of my hope is a loving God who can move mountains. The evidence of things not seen is when he refuses and I still believe in him.

\n

Sometimes God refuses to move the mountain that is in your way because that mountain is in HIS plan…not yours. My biggest mountain was losing Mr. Virgo. God knew that could shake my faith. So he let me see something. He let me see the essence of my husband’s spirit as it left his body. I was forever changed. Not only by the loss itself, but by the certainty that we go someplace else when we die, we are not alone and there is a power far greater than me at work in the world. That power…to me…is God. I will not understand the whys until I get where I am going…but I know the WHO.

\n

This has been a difficult year so far. There has been so much loss in the world. So many unmovable mountains. When I face these times, I find leaning into God and trusting him is the only way to get through it.

\n

He CAN move mountains. And…sometimes he chooses not to. It is the pure essence of faith when you can still believe in God when you have trouble seeing the evidence of his existence.

\n

My HOPE is in him…even when he doesn’t answer.

\n

MercyMe - Even If You Don’t\nhttps://youtu.be/B6fA35Ved-Y

\n

“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”\n‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭11:1‬ ‭KJV‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2018-02-18T02:30:26-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/02/18/the-mountain.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Presence"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/02/07/i-am-enough.html", "title": "I Am Enough", "content_html": "

\"Woman “I Am Enough”

\n

A friend of mine posts these really great inspirational messages on her Facebook page. She comes up with original questions, collections of photos surrounding a theme, and generally spreads love and light throughout the world…with an occasional “f-bomb” thrown in for emphasis. Her name is Barbara. I think she should write a book or have a syndicated newsletter or something because I never see her stuff without feeling uplifted and in awe. I love her.

\n

Yesterday she posted the following question:

\n

WHO ARE YOU?\nAnswer without:\nName, Job, Things you Did, Friends

\n

As I always do with her thought provoking posts…I sat and thought. I made a cup of tea. I stared out the window. I listened to a recording of ocean waves. And…I sat and thought some more. I could answer many things. Christian. Gypsy. Dreamer. Giver. Lover. Friend. But those things only answer a part of the question with those parameters. I decided on this…

\n

I Am Enough.

\n

When this picture was taken, I was visiting my dear friend, Patti from Buffalo Baking Company in California. I had just completed a few of my big “firsts”. My first foray into the world of dating. HUGE mistake on the dating end. BIG help on the “having a shoulder to cry on” end. It didn’t turn out very well for either of us, unfortunately. Too much…WAY too soon. I had survived our anniversary, our birthdays, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas. And I headed to the west coast to stay with a woman I had never met in person…I only knew her through this blog. But I knew her heart and she is good and she loved on me for a week.

\n

I had it in my head that once the clock struck midnight and 2013 turned into 2014, I could say…”He died LAST YEAR”. Somehow I thought that would sweep up the wreckage of my life from the floor where it fell eight months earlier. It would be the glue to piece my heart back together. On this day…New Year’s Day 2014…we drove to Half Moon Bay play tourist. We walked the beach, browsed the shops, ate fabulous seafood, and enjoyed each other’s company.

\n

When we got to the beach, I asked if I could have a moment alone. I walked to the water’s edge and talked to Mr. Virgo. I told him how much I loved him. I let a little piece of him go free. I placed a few strands of his hair into the foam around my freezing bare feet. And I cried. As I was walking back to Patti and her husband, I saw she had her camera poised and I threw up my hands as if to say, “Ta Da!!! That’s done!!!”

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Oh…I was SO naive.

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I only THOUGHT I was done. I thought the New Year would bring a new me…sans tears, anxiety, sleepless nights throwing up, fits of rage and depression, and deep melancholia. It was far from it. It only opened my eyes to the stark reality that this really WAS real. He really WAS gone. And now, I got the opportunity to feel it all without that protective gauze of grief sheltering my weary heart and mind from the full blow. Now I was raw, open, searing with the painful presence of daily life…without him. Without my heart. Without my mind. At least as I had known it.

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That second year was exactly like holding a sword into the white hot heat of a forge. It tempered me. It made me stronger so that when I was beaten, I held my edge. I became sharp and strong. I was honed into a new version of me.

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When you look at the edge of a well-honed sword, you do not see a sharp, straight line. You see little bits and fragments and fingers of metal that have been forced to line up in the same direction. But there are chips and divots and feathers of steel lining up like soldiers marching in formation. Yet, zoom back out and you can cut a watermelon in midair with one easy stroke.

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When you hone a sword, there is a stopping point. There is a place where you say…that is enough. If you keep going, the blade doesn’t get any sharper. It just wears away. This is where I am on this journey now. If I keep grinding away at this, I just get worn till I’m useless. There was that tipping point somewhere along the line where I said to myself…I Am Enough. This is good…this life I have built. I have surrounded myself with love and light. God, in his infinite Mercy, has given me more hearts to love and more time to love them. If my edge should dull…and it will…I will put my feet to the flame again and get strong and sharp. Over and over and over…ad infinitum. It is what we do. It is the best we can do. It is ALL we can do. Do the work. Walk through the flames. Become stronger. And proclaim to the world…

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I. Am. Enough. And, my darling friend…you are, too!

\n

❤️

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“being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”\n‭‭Philippians‬ ‭1:6‬ ‭NIV11‬‬

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\n", "date_published": "2018-02-07T02:30:52-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/02/07/i-am-enough.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","God","Wisdom","Presence"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/01/20/savor-the-sweet.html", "title": "Savor the Sweet", "content_html": "\"Woman\n

The first time I set foot in a trout stream, I was six years old. It was the summer before my life would be forever changed by the illicit touch of a stranger. The summer of 1960 found my family on its very first vacation. We traveled to the mountains of West Virginia and rented a small cabin for a week. I remember mom frying trout in an iron skillet. I remember my brother and I playing quietly in the shade of the many trees surrounding our camp. I remember my dad standing in the shallow middle, up to his knees, casting over and over with the flies he had meticulously tied at his workbench in the basement. And I remember the river. The North Fork of the South Branch of the Potomac River, to be exact.

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I didn’t have much experience with open bodies of water. Mom had instilled an unhealthy fear of water in me with stories of the time she saved her baby sister from drowning. She had no intention of ever having to save me, so I was banished from any water sports. And, it turns out…I’m a bit of a water baby. I remember one day in particular. Dad was out in his favorite fishing hole, patiently casting, and I stood at the river’s edge. I contemplated the ripples as they passed over the smooth river rocks. I gazed at the deep pools that changed to the color of emeralds where the sandy bottom lay two or three feet below. I delighted at the light dancing on the surface like a thousand diamonds and the trout flashing as they breached the surface to catch their next meal.

\n

That was a simple and peaceful summer…the last I would know before my innocence was taken from me. But, that is not to say, I have never found moments that have recaptured that sense of awe and wonder. I have…many times. Yesterday was one of those days that delivered sweet things…one after another…till I was overflowing with the beauty and simplicity of it all.

\n

I made my routine trip to the farm to see how the kitties are fairing. I checked the stove and the basement. I sat, as I always do, in the chair in “Grandma’s Window” and watched the birds at the feeder. I listened to the sounds of an old house…living and breathing…its bones creaking like the old woman that she is. I watched the pendulum in Mr. Virgo’s clock swing back and forth, reminding me I couldn’t stay too long. We had company coming.

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I stopped at the neighbor’s for a bit and delivered a small gift of French Truffles. We passed the time, catching up on the news of the neighbors and I left with promises it wouldn’t be so long till my next visit. I turned the truck toward home. I checked the mail and found a pink slip…a package had come and would be waiting for me at the post office. Mr. FixIt offered to go pick it up as I put the groceries away. I no sooner sat down till our company arrived.

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Mr. FixIt’s granddaughter and her family brought their baby to see Papaw and GG! I have inherited a whole passel of people in this relationship, including a son and his wife, a daughter and her man, three granddaughters (two of whom have significant others), a grandson and his girlfriend, and a great granddaughter. You know what that means, don’t you? I am a great grandmother! And…considering I am WAY too young to be one (smile)…I am GG. Great Grandma. Grandma Ginny. GG. It suits me. The baby is four months old and the most precious little thing. What a treat to hold and rock a little one again!

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Before long, Mr. FixIt came back with my box. I couldn’t wait to open it. It was a special introductory gift box from my dear friend, and fellow Sister on the Fly, Michelle McMullen Cummings with her newly published book, The Reel Sisters! https://www.thereelsisters.com/product/the-reel-sisters-gift-box/ Now I have two books to read, one published and one unpublished with an invitation to write early praise for its release. Both written by strong women I admire and I can’t wait to get into them! The reminder of these sister friendships warmed my heart as rocked and sang a lullaby to the newest member of our immediate family. I thought…”I will teach you to fly, little sister” as I sniffed the top of her sweet, soft head.

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I am enjoying getting to know and bond with Mr. FixIt’s family. As his granddaughter bundled up the baby and prepared to leave yesterday, she turned to me and said, “I like you. You make my grandpa very happy.” I like her, too. She reminds me a little of myself when I was her age. A young mother, in love with her baby, her life stretching before her like an endless summer. It filled me with a soft warmth. As I sat propped in our bed last night, typing away at the keyboard writing this post, that very happy Papaw came in with a small bowl of ice cream and a kiss on the top of my head. And I swear…my heart exploded with joy.

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The sweet simplicity of a life lived with boundless joy. My God has delivered me far, far from the pain life can bring. For now. There will be pain again. There always is. This is life, after all. The difference is, I have this now. I am building my insurance policy. These stories are money in my emotional bank…stories to look back upon one day and remember the joy I felt on a cold January day in the sun. ❤️

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“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.”\n‭‭James‬ ‭1:17‬ ‭NIV‬‬

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\n", "date_published": "2018-01-20T02:30:14-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/01/20/savor-the-sweet.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Travel","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Hope","Positive Energy","Fun","West Virginia","The Farm","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Presence","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/01/19/catching-up.html", "title": "Catching Up", "content_html": "\"Coffee\n

One of the best ways to catch up with paperwork is to have peaceful surroundings. Mr. FixIt had a day of errands to do. I think he kinda wanted me to tag along with him yesterday, but I know us well…I would have ended up coming in at 9:30 last night and none of this work would have gotten done.

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As soon as he left (with a big hug and kiss) I turned on praise music and cranked it up. I always need a little extra dose of Jesus when I am heading into a formidable task. Wading through many bags and boxes of papers and sorting them into some sort of organization that allows me to actually put my finger on things was the order of the day. With praise, and good coffee and French Truffles…I waded in with both feet and started making the first cuts. What was trash. What needed to be kept in which pile. I really, really hate paperwork! “Jesus is calling…” I can do this. “Do you thirst for a drink from the well…” I can do this. “The Father’s arms are open wide…” Oh, yes…I can definitely do this! “Bring your sorrows and trade them for joy…” YES…let’s DO this!!!

\n

As I often do, I talk out loud to Jesus when I’m working. The conversation is never one-sided. He always speaks to me through the Holy Spirit and tells me everything I need to hear. First, he smacks my hand a little…”Keep up with this stuff better.” He chides gently. “You know what an ordeal it is when you put it off till the end of the year. It seems overwhelming. If it’s difficult to slog through…remember to talk with me while you’re working. It makes the time pass faster. And, I can help. I can help you put things into perspective. I can help you find lost papers. I can help you remember who you need to talk to about this and that. I can help you make important decisions. Just remember to include me…even in the most mundane of your daily activities.”

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Then He goes on with his daily teaching. “Thank your Father for the gifts you receive. See all these papers? They are all articles of provision. That bank account? I gave you that gift to provide for your every need. Respect that. Balance every month…not because it’s a drudge, but because it’s an honor to see the abundance you have been provided with. The same goes for that insurance policy you have been complaining about because the price went up. Be grateful you HAVE insurance…and so far, you haven’t run out of money to pay for it. What about that accident last February? I know you have been dreading searching for all the papers you need to have in order to finish out that claim. Yes, that’s a pain…but, I made sure you weren’t terribly injured. And you received a much newer truck when yours was totaled. It was “a miracle” when you got that check that just almost covered the new truck, wasn’t it? It was Me…I made sure you have a safe, affordable vehicle. A little gratitude goes a long way, dear one.”

\n

What blessings I have. I have a Father that provides for me. I have a loving family that supports and loves me. I have this tremendous man in my life who loves me and shares his home with me as if it has always been mine…he’s just been waiting for me to come along. I have my health. I have the farm. I have TOW-Wanda. I have a retirement. I have Social Security and health insurance and soon, I’ll have Medicare…that carrot at the end of the race that will help provide for me in my golden years. I have a house…TWO houses…THREE if you count TOW-Wanda…to shelter me from the storms of life. I have food and clean water and clothes. I am wealthy….beyond my wildest dreams. I am LOVED. What a lovely way to look at the mundane, dreary chore of sorting through paperwork. What a lovely way to look at the world. Thank you, God! “You’re a good, good Father…it’s who you are, it’s who you are…” ❤️

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“And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.”\n‭‭Philippians‬ ‭4:19‬ ‭NIV‬‬

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\n", "date_published": "2018-01-19T02:30:51-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/01/19/catching-up.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Presence"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/01/18/tucking-in-with-tea.html", "title": "Tucking in with Tea", "content_html": "\"A\n

I love a hot cup of tea on a cold winter day. And, baby…it is c-o-l-d! It is nice to just stay in and get stuff done around the house. Catching up on correspondence. Going through stacks of paperwork and organizing. Tossing old magazines. All things that need to be done and can be accomplished when you’re stuck inside.

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I’m reading my friend’s final draft of her book so I can write advanced praise. You’re going to love it…I’ve cried ten times! I can’t wait to share it with you.

\n

In the meantime, I was doing a little research yesterday after reading some of your comments on my post. I do that often. I came across an article in Psychology Today that I loved. As I read it, tears stung my eyes and I thought…whoever wrote this really gets it! When I got to the bottom, I saw that it was written by someone I know! Susan Heitler, PhD…a Clinical Psychologist in Denver. Susan had a little office located by the back door to the suite I worked in when Hubby #2 was in medical school. She often ate her lunch at the front desk in her office…the door flung open wide as if to beckon passers by to come in for a visit. I often stopped on my way to and from the cafeteria. Sitting for a few moments with Susan was like breathing in sunshine. I always left feeling really good about myself. I would have loved to bottle some of that up and take it with me where ever I went in the years since I last saw her. Here’s the article I read: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/resolution-not-conflict/201202/psychological-diagnosis-dangerous-desirable-or-both

\n

The last several days’ posts have been really heavy so I’m keeping today light on purpose. There is so much darkness in the world…we need a day of light once in a while. As I’m writing this, I’m listening to sounds of the woods. Water in a creek. Crickets. Tree frogs. Night birds. I miss those sounds. The woods are so quiet in the winter. The air seems dead as it is muted by the snow on the ground. It’s so cold my nose hairs freeze when I breathe in! Yet, I still have to sleep with the window cracked a bit. I have to have air. Mr. FixIt doesn’t like heavy blankets so I bought an electric blanket. It is the warmest thing I’ve ever had and not at all heavy. A good compromise.

\n

I made Banana Nut muffins yesterday with blueberries in them. We went shopping at the department store that is closing and bought about $460 worth of clothes for $22…mostly for the great grandbaby! I’m researching how to make jewelry from broken china. I scheduled a camping trip for May. I caught a mouse in the attic. We watched a Reese Witherspoon movie. And I’m gathering the data I need to close out the paperwork from the car accident I was in last February. So far, it’s been a really good week! How about you? What are you doing to pass the time till spring? ❤️

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“Fruit trees of all kinds will grow on both banks of the river. Their leaves will not wither, nor will their fruit fail. Every month they will bear fruit, because the water from the sanctuary flows to them. Their fruit will serve for food and their leaves for healing.””\n‭‭Ezekiel‬ ‭47:12‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n", "date_published": "2018-01-18T02:30:19-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/01/18/tucking-in-with-tea.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Peace","Wisdom","Presence"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/01/16/on-being-loved.html", "title": "On Being Loved", "content_html": "\"Flowers\n

Mr. FixIt and I have developed this little routine the last few months. We have a nice dinner and clear up the dishes. We sit together for a while and talk or maybe watch a movie or an episode of Big Bang or MASH. When it’s time for a bedtime snack, I take mine into the bedroom at the far end of the house and write while my sweetie watches a ball game or the news and weather. It works out great and we both have that little bit of alone time everyone needs in a relationship. I’ve taken to listening to nature sounds on Amazon Music as I write so quite often, in my head, there’s a thunderstorm raging or ocean waves are gently lapping at the shore or birds are singing in a tropical rainforest. It’s so soothing and easy to write to.

\n

My guy bowls on a couple of leagues and has for over thirty years. Bowling offered him the opportunity to socialize with fun people. He is gregarious, and bowling has been a great outlet for him. The other night he stopped at the store on the way home. He always calls me before he heads home because no matter where we are staying…his house or mine…it is a good forty minutes from town. He asks if I need anything. Usually, I don’t. He called me from the driveway the other night and asked me to open the door. He’s not supposed to carry anything in his bad hand yet. When I greeted him at the door, he handed me the groceries and I ducked in the kitchen with them. It was SO cold out there…I wanted away from the door as fast as I could. When I turned around to hug him, he handed me this bouquet of yellow roses.

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I love yellow roses. I love great big bouquets of mixed flowers but all in white. I love a live orchid. Mr. Virgo used to bring me flowers. And now…I have this sweet love…this good, good man. And HE brings me flowers, too. Guys like Mr. Virgo and Mr. FixIt are a rare breed. My sweetheart told me the other day he wished we had started dating in high school so we could have had our whole lives together. I understand that thinking, and it’s sweet…really. But the thing is, we are the people we are right now simply BECAUSE of the life experiences we have been through. There is a really big chance we wouldn’t have gotten along in our early years. All of our experiences have been opportunities for personal growth. We came together when we did because it was GOD’S timing…not ours.

\n

When we can move over and get out of the way, God does extraordinary things in our lives. “Let go and let God” isn’t just a pithy saying or a tired cliche from an AA meeting. It is straight outta the instruction manual for life…the Bible. Oh, we are such proud creatures. We want to have control. We want to steer the boat and make it go where WE want it. At any given moment, there is a preordained course designed specifically for us. God knows your name. He has plans to prosper you. God loves you more than anyone in the world. He loves you more than you can fathom. You can make it SO much easier if you put God in the driver’s seat. The easiest way to do that is ask. Just ask Him…first thing in the morning. “Where are you going to take me today, Lord?” Then get out of the way. Oh, my…could it really be that easy??? ❤️

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“Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans.”\n‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭16:3‬ ‭NIV‬‬

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\n", "date_published": "2018-01-16T02:30:37-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/01/16/on-being-loved.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Hope","Positive Energy","Fun","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Aging","Presence","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/01/13/the-umbrella-incident-or-how.html", "title": "“The Umbrella Incident” or “How to Feed Your Man”", "content_html": "

\"Winter “Winter Flooding in West Virginia” by Ginny McKinney

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It all started innocently enough. It was going to rain and I was heading to town soon. As I jumped in the shower, I called out to Mr. FixIt.

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“Honey…would you mind grabbing my umbrella out of the truck?”

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When I got dressed and was heading out the door, I looked around. My umbrella wasn’t there. I asked if he had gotten it for me and Mr. FixIt said no. There was an umbrella there by the door. Now, it was a perfectly good umbrella. One that, you know, keeps rain off of you. But I wanted MY umbrella and I felt Mr. FixIt had made a decision for me. I didn’t like it.

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Silly…that was just plain silly of me. But, I am my mother’s daughter and stubborn is my middle name. I hopped out the door and into the rain…sans umbrella.

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“I’ll show YOU!” I thought as I made a mad dash for the truck. “I don’t need your stinky old boy umbrella!”

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Ridiculous. I got wet because I got my nose out of joint. And why? Because, somewhere in the far recesses of my mind I equated “Please get my umbrella.” with “Please tell me you love me.” That is old school thinking right there…something I thought I left behind like…two relationships ago.

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It’s been a couple of weeks now. And ever since, I’ve been criticizing Mr. FixIt’s every move. Mostly because he’s a man and he had surgery and he’s SUPPOSED to be taking care of that hand so it will heal properly and he’s as stubborn as me and he does things his way and….did I say he was stubborn? I have spent the better part of two weeks with “Don’t pick that up!” And “Here…let ME do it!” I think there were eye-rolls involved. All of this was done in an effort to punish him for a perceived slight that was nothing more than something made up in my head. Some unpacked baggage from seasons past that has absolutely nothing to do with him.

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Then…the rain started.

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It rained…hard. Yesterday morning I awoke to the sounds of the carpet cleaner sucking water up from the rug downstairs. The basement flooded! I jumped up and ran downstairs. And there was my man…emptying one gallon containers of dirty water into the sink…carrying them with two hands, one of which he isn’t supposed to lift anything heavier than popcorn.

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“Breathe…breathe…don’t scold him. He’s not a child.” My inner voice reasoned with me.

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“Did you plug in the sump pump?” I asked.

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“No.” Shoulders slumped. Voice dejected.

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“Are you kidding me?” I asked.

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Shoulders slumped more. “Stupid. It was stupid.”

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I took the carpet cleaner and started that part myself so he wouldn’t have to carry the bucket to the sink. Mr. FixIt went about sweeping up water in the room without carpet. He ran the vacuum. We didn’t talk much. Then I sent him off on an errand to town.

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After he left, I went upstairs and fixed myself a cup of coffee. I sipped it as I ran the carpet cleaner back and forth over the soggy carpet. And I fumed. Then I could see the dejected slump of my sweetheart’s shoulders and my heart softened.

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“Lord,” I said out loud. “I haven’t been loving this wonderful man you gave me the way I should. I haven’t been loving him the way you love me. And all because he didn’t get my umbrella for me!”

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I sucked up more water, emptied the bucket, and began again.

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“Lord, please give me the heart of a cheerful servant. Let me see all of his good qualities and none of the annoying traits that make us human. Can you do that for me, please?” I asked with sincere earnestness in my voice.

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Suddenly, the old hymn “Farther Along” started up in my mind and I began to sing out loud as I vacuumed up bucket after bucket of water.

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“Tempted and tried we’re oft made to wonder\nWhy it should be thus all the day long\nWhile there are others living about us\nNever molested though in the wrong.

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Farther along we’ll know all about it\nFarther along well understand why\nCheer up my brother, live in the sunshine\nWe’ll understand it all by and by.

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When death has come and taken our loved ones\nIt leaves our home so lonely and drear\nThen do we wonder why others prosper\nLiving so wicked year after year.

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When we see Jesus coming in glory\nWhen he comes down from his home in the sky\nThen we shall meet him in that bright mansion\nWe’ll understand it all by and by.

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Farther along we’ll know all about it\nFarther along we’ll understand why\nCheer up my brother, live in the sunshine\nWe’ll understand it all by and by.

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Yes, we’ll understand it…all by and by.”

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I sang and sang and in two verses…maybe three…something happened. Any negative thoughts I had been having dissolved. My heart was soft and open. God had indeed given me the heart of a cheerful servant, just as I had asked.

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I went on and worked, happily singing and emptying bucket after bucket of dirty flood water. I worked for about three hours when Mr. FixIt walked in carrying breakfast for me. I went upstairs and gave him a great big hug and an even bigger smile. I thanked him profusely for bringing me a warm breakfast. I hadn’t taken time to eat. I patted the seat beside me. He shook his head and said no…he needed to get back to it.

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“Please?” I begged. “Just for a minute.”

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He smiled and sat down.

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“Sweetheart, listen…I know you feel stupid for not plugging in the sump pump. But, I could have thought of it, too. And I didn’t. We unplugged it to put up the snowman for Christmas and just forgot. We make mistakes…it happens. It wasn’t your fault.” I put my hand on his knee and looked at him intently. I wanted to make sure he heard me.

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Mr. FixIt turned those baby blues to mine and gave me his sweetest smile. And, I felt I’d made it right. This is how you feed a man. You feed his spirit. You feed his soul. You breathe life into him. When you start looking for the bad in your love…that’s all you will see. I really, REALLY don’t want to go there. Do I get it right all the time? Oh, heck no! I’m human, too. I stumble and forget and let my lower self talk WAY too often. But sometimes I get it right. Sometimes I remember to ask God for help. Yesterday was one of those days. ❤️

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“Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”\n‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭4:16‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n", "date_published": "2018-01-13T02:30:33-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/01/13/the-umbrella-incident-or-how.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Presence"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/01/11/the-bent-reed.html", "title": "The Bent Reed", "content_html": "

\"The “The Bent Reed” by Ginny McKinney

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A lot of people are struggling right now. I don’t know what it is about January. Sure, there’s the let down after the holidays. There’s the long, dark nights. There’s the bitterly cold, grey days. But there’s more than that. There’s a lot of loss.

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I have friends who are dealing with very serious health issues…either of their own or members of their immediate family. I get prayer requests daily…from multiple people. Disasters, accidents, illness, death. Add this on top of the usual slump of January and it can send you down in a spiral in a hurry.

\n

I was reminded of this beautiful verse the other day. I wish I would have had it written down so I could have carried it with me in those first long dark winter months without Mr. Virgo. I know it would have helped. As with all things, it has come to me now…when it means the most. When I need it the most. When I need to share it. God always provides.

\n

My mom died after a brief illness of five days in January 2014. My cousin’s husband a year later at 50. My sweet Uncle Bob the next January. January is just not a good month…for me and for a lot of other people.

\n

I bought a new computer the other day. When I was setting it up this week, I noticed a bunch of photos had come down out of the cloud. I hadn’t seen them in a long time, since my computer has been on the fritz for a while. I was scrolling through when my screen was filled with…Mr. Virgo…in his casket. A friend took the picture for me. At first, I thought it was macabre. Then I realized I needed to have that. For a long time it was the only thing that would allow me to cry. I needed to get that out. But somewhere along the line, the pictures from the funeral home made their way up into the cloud and I didn’t see them again. Till this week. It was like getting sucker punched when that popped up, filling my screen with a vision so painful you can feel it in your bones.

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Yes, a lot of people are struggling. Debbie’s husband Toby is in the hospital. Sue’s friend had a biopsy today. Lynn’s family is struggling. Diane lost both her parents and her father-in-law in Januarys along the way and her best friend just lost his dad. The world seems to be reeling under forces whipping it into a frenzy. So, again…I am reminded of this verse.

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God will not break a bent reed. He will not snuff out a smoldering flame. When you are at your weakest point, God is still strong. The same God that gave his Son. The same God that walked on water and rose the dead and healed blind men. The same God that breathed life into this world lives today. And He knocks. And He waits. He is a patient, polite God. He will not impose himself. He will not barge in on you. He waits for you to open the door. Opening that door is what has made it possible for me to keep breathing, to keep walking forward through every storm…through every season. I was only bent. ❤️

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“A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out…”\n‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭42:3‬ ‭NIV

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\n", "date_published": "2018-01-11T02:30:39-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/01/11/the-bent-reed.html", "tags": ["Faith","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Presence"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/01/05/deep-freeze.html", "title": "Deep Freeze", "content_html": "

\"Winter Winter Dawn by Ginny McKinney

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As most of the country settles in for a rough ride on the Snowball Express, I am sitting here snug as a bug in a rug at Mr. FixIt’s house. I’ve taken to listening to praise music as I write my posts. I’ve changed things up and started writing during the day instead of late at night. I thought it might give me a different perspective and add a new dimension to the blog. The praise music not only keeps my heart in the right place, it inspires me to write about a scripture instead of the other way around. All this time I have written my post then I’d go look for an appropriate scripture that illustrated what my thinking was. That’s a much more time consuming process.

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I downloaded an app on my phone called Moment. It tracks my screen time and frankly, I was appalled when I saw how much time I spend staring at a screen. Granted, it’s not all mindless surfing or game playing. A good portion of it is spent writing these posts. Now, that in itself is not a bad thing by any means. It’s just that…I have this really sweet guy that would probably enjoy a little more attention and a little less screen time. So, I’m trying a few new things…new tactics to shave a little time off the screen and a little more looking into those baby blues that look so adoringly into mine. Win-Win, right?

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Another thing I’m going to try is, at least on occasion, including my drawings as the cover photo for my posts. This gives me the opportunity to practice…not only the drawings themselves, but the opportunity to be bold in sharing them. We all need opportunities to be bold.

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So, here I sit…snuggled on the sofa under that beautiful blue fox fur blanket. A fresh latte. Kari Jobe. A fire. Snow softly falling. My tree will remain to bring me light and peace well into the new year. I have the promise of a meteor shower and a blue moon to look forward to this month. The year is fresh with hope and promise. And I have this really cool Apple Pencil and Procreate…the world is at my fingertips! My heart is full, even in the depths of this bitter cold. Stay warm, my friends. ❤️

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“Out of the south cometh the whirlwind: and cold out of the north.”\n‭‭Job‬ ‭37:9‬ ‭KJV‬‬

\n", "date_published": "2018-01-05T02:30:21-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/01/05/deep-freeze.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Presence"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/01/03/surviving-the-climb.html", "title": "Surviving the Climb", "content_html": "\"Survive\n

Occasionally I get a comment on my blog from someone so fresh on this grief journey that they are lost. They don’t know where to turn or what to do next. They are obviously in a great deal of pain and my heart breaks for them because…I know. I’ve been there. Many of us have. I respond to every single comment on my blog. Most often it’s with a ❤️, just to let you know I have seen your comment. Occasionally, I write something back. On this particular occasion, I wrote a whole essay as my response. After giving it some thought, I decided it was time again to revisit “How do you survive this?”

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My reader lost her husband unexpectedly in early November. He was minding his own business, driving to work, when he was struck head-on by an impaired driver and was killed. Her world was shattered. The future she had planned with her husband was gone. To add insult to injury, her husband’s death was followed in rapid succession by Thanksgiving, his birthday, an important graduation, Christmas, and New Years. All without him. Her question? How do you cope with this?

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Here is my response:

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First, let me tell you my heart is with you, dear one. You are SO fresh on this journey and it’s so difficult. Having all those firsts, one after another when the ink is hardly dry must be unbearable. I can’t tell you how to grieve because it’s such a personal thing. I can tell you how I dealt with things and hopefully it will help you as well. If you haven’t yet, do go to Marshmallow Ranch on Facebook and see if you can scroll back to the early days of my blog. You will find much more relatable material there. I started the blog in January 2013 as a way to promote jewelry I was making. Then Mr. Virgo died in March. That’s when the blog morphed into an online grief journal. I know that’s a lot of material to sort through, but it just might help.

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At your stage of this journey, let me say this…there is no rule book. But here’s a list of ways to cope.

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    \n
  1. \n

    Don’t let anyone say you should do it this way or you shouldn’t do it that way. Do it your way.

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    2. \n
  2. \n

    You will make mistakes. Don’t be too hard on yourself when you do.

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    3. \n
  3. \n

    Be careful…extra careful with your money.

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    4. \n
  4. \n

    Get plenty of rest, eat right, and exercise as you can.

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    5. \n
  5. \n

    Avoid drugs and alcohol…they are nothing but bandaids that put off the hurt. That goes for new relationships. I know, I know. I thought that was crazy too till I got involved with someone just five months after my beloved died. I just wanted the pain to go away but when I pulled that bandage off, dear God…it was worse.

    \n
    6. \n
  6. \n

    Feel your feelings. Cry when you need to. Laugh when you can.

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    7. \n
  7. \n

    There’s an actual condition called grief brain. You can’t remember squat and it may be scary as the dickens. Don’t worry…it does get better in time. You never go back to baseline, but you do get better.

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    8. \n
  8. \n

    You won’t be in this fog forever and eventually you will feel joy. Don’t feel guilty for that.

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    9. \n
  9. \n

    I found the services of a grief counselor to be extremely helpful. I had PTSD from watching the CPR for hours so I had EMDR treatments which helped immensely.

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    10. \n
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Remember…you don’t “get over” this…you get through it. But, you will never be the same. Let me repeat that…you will never be the same. Don’t even try to find the old you. She is gone. Once a pickle, always a pickle…you don’t get to go back to being a fresh little cucumber again. Whether you become a sour or sweet pickle is largely up to you. Do NOT give up hope of finding a good life, though. You can…and you will…with determination and perseverance.

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I realized early on that he died, I did not. I owed it to his memory to live…actually LIVE the days my husband was not given. Since we were looking at campers when he died, I went out and bought one and joined Sisters on the Fly…a women’s adventure group. I also belong to Girl Campers. These are all empowering groups that helped me become brave and strong.

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One last word of caution. It’s ok to mattress surf once in a while but don’t live there. Get up every day, splash water on your face, brush your teeth, and get dressed. Make your bed. You’re not as likely to climb back in it if it’s made. Scrub your kitchen sink. A clean sink sets the tone for the day in my book. Even if you just move from the bed to the couch…you’ve moved. Keep moving. One step, two steps. Eventually you will be able to take a deep breath again. (Oh, that’s also a thing. Physiologically, grief causes you to sigh a lot which makes you try to take deep breaths and it’s difficult. You almost feel like you can’t get a deep enough breath. Unless you are passing out or have chest pain or prolonged irregular heartbeat or cold, clammy sweat, its nothing to be worried about. Always ask your healthcare professional if you are concerned about your health. However…this sensation disappears after some time.)

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Tincture of time. That’s how I dealt with the loss of my husband. Move forward…and pray, a lot. You may not feel Him there, but God is with your every step. He holds you in the palm of His hand and He weeps for your pain. Let Him wrap His feathers around you and take your rest there. Come back here anytime you need some support. You may send me private messages at any time and I will get back to you as soon as I can. Prayers for comfort and strength, dear one. This is a club we didn’t ask to join. You will learn how to perform magic like tap dancing around that husband-sized hole in your heart without falling in…every…damn…time.

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Grief comes in waves. At first it knocks you down. Eventually you learn to expect the waves and you can lean in and keep your footing without drowning. It’s almost five years since my loss and I have built a new life. I have expanded my social circle and have learned many new skills. And…much to my amazement…I have found love again and it is so sweet and rich. Mostly because now I have a thorough understanding of just what I lost and how incredibly precious life and love are.

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We all know someone who suffers a loss. We don’t always know how to help or what to say. May I suggest bookmarking this page and share it when appropriate? Share it with everyone you know because someone knows someone who is hurting. Let’s make this the year we reach out to widows and widowers and offer them whatever comfort and support we can. ❤️

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“Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God.”\n‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭13:16‬ ‭ESV

\n", "date_published": "2018-01-03T02:30:36-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/01/03/surviving-the-climb.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Humbled","Presence","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/12/31/true-love-has-no-end.html", "title": "True Love Has No End", "content_html": "\"Couple\n

They weren’t much more than kids when they met. I remember the first time I met my cousin Tommy’s girlfriend, Suzy. I had such a crush on Tommy in his Navy whites. And Suzy was as sweet as they come. She’s been around as long as I can remember.

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I’ve told you about Tommy. He has mesothelioma. There is no cure. And up until the last few years, there really wasn’t much to even offer people in the way of treatment. But they did their homework and took Tommy to the doc who wrote the book on Meso and as a result, he has had two really good years he may not have had before.

\n

The treatments Tom has received are not without side effects. The toxic meds have all but killed his kidneys. They have exhausted treatment after treatment yet, thanks to generous donations and scientific breakthroughs, more and more treatments become available. Maybe someday, they will find a cure. Because…you know. Cancer sucks.

\n

Tommy faces his illness and death with a positive attitude and a great deal of courage. They haven’t been afraid to “start the conversation”. They talk about death and his design…how does he want his story to end when he gets to the last chapter. Suzy is brave and strong. Their love knows no bounds as they recently celebrated their 56th wedding anniversary.

\n

This year, Tommy wanted to give his “best girl” a gift that would knock her socks off. He wanted something so deeply meaningful that she would cherish it forever. Their daughter videotaped the moment for posterity. Suzy opened her gift ever so slowly. Indoor/outdoor slippers. (laughter) Then someone points out there’s something inside. Suzy looks closer and there it is…a small box tucked into one slipper.

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“You stinker,” she gently chided this man she’s known forever.

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She goes on to open the second gift when a puzzled look comes across her face. She turns to Tom and says, “For us?” She thought they were a matching set of rings. She looks again and finally can see…they are earrings. Someone off camera says…”Look at the ring.”

\n

Suzy is still puzzled then Tommy holds up his left hand and she can see he is no longer wearing his wedding band.

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“No!” she cried. “No! Not your ring!” You can see she is instantly devastated. Until Tommy bends toward her and shows her that he has had the date of their wedding engraved on the back. At this point, The enormity of this selfless gift suddenly hits Suzy and she puts her face in her hand and cries.

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This is a sweet, personal moment between two wonderful people who love each other without limits. No disease…no cancer…not even death will truly separate these two. I asked for permission to share their story here. For one reason, I love them both so much. Second, I wanted to stress the importance of having “the conversation”, and three…I wanted to give you an idea what to do with his/her ring. Earrings made from a ring that has been cut in half would make a wonderful remembrance.

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We don’t know the future. It’s not a matter of if, you know. It’s…when. We pray for a cure. We pray for new medicines. We pray for good quality of life. Time. We pray for time. Lots and lots. Oodles of time. We will love our loved ones like it’s our last day on earth…or theirs. And we will hold fast to the tokens of love like there’s no tomorrow. ❤️

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www.facebook.com/melissa.a…

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“Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”\n‭‭Philippians‬ ‭2:4‬ ‭ESV‬‬

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\n", "date_published": "2017-12-31T02:30:44-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/12/31/true-love-has-no-end.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","West Virginia","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Humbled","Aging"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/12/30/let-me-entertain-you.html", "title": "Let Me Entertain You", "content_html": "\"Gluten\n

One of the all time BEST things about Mr. FixIt is this…he LOVES to have guests over as much as I do. I know it’s hart for you to believe but…I love to talk with people and learn about them and visit and tell stories. We had dinner guests three times this week. What a blessing it is to share a table with friends and family.

\n

We started with an appetizer of baked brie en croute with fig jam. It sounds like something complicated but it wasn’t. I bought it at Sam’s, baked it at 375 for 20 minutes. Done!

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Our dinner guests brought salad and I served it with hot rolls and an aioli of crushed herbs, salt, pepper, more of that wonderful Chardonnay Garlic infused olive oil drizzled over top, and a small pool of both Mango pulp and Blueberry vinegar. Yummmmm!

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For the main course, I roasted two chickens. I did something completely different. I stuffed them with whole garlic cloves, quartered onions, and wedges of lemon. I trussed them up with kitchen twine, rubbed the sling with Chardonnay Garlic Olive Oil and sprinkled them with fresh ground pepper, ground pink Himalayan salt, more garlic, rustic herbs, and crushed rosemary. I placed a parking rack in a roasting pan and baked them at 350 for a little over 2 hours. OMGosh! When I cut into that chicken and the aroma of lemon and garlic hit the air? Wowza! It was awesome.

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I accompanied the meal with fresh steamed broccoli with mashed potatoes and gravy (Sam’s ready made Yukon Gold Mashed Potatoes and Teay’s Valley Cream gravy made this part of the prep fast and easy.)

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Dessert was homemade Gluten Free Bread Pudding with a dollop of French Vanilla Ice Cream. It was pretty heavenly!

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Served with a Pinot Noir or my personal favorite, Fré dealcoholized wine, this was a meal fit for royalty. And it really wasn’t that difficult, or expensive, to throw together.

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Here’s the recipe for the dessert. Bon Appetit!

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Gluten Free Bread Pudding

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6-8 slices of stale gluten free bread, cubed\n4 eggs\n2 cups milk\n3 tablespoons Splenda blend brown sugar\n1/2 c. Stevia for baking\n1/2 tsp. Cinnamon\n1/4 tsp. Apple Pie Spice\n1 tsp Vanilla\n1/2 tsp salt\n3-4 big handfuls of raisins\nAbout 2/3 c. chopped pecan4 T. butter, melted

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Cube bread and place in prepared baking dish. In this case, I used an 8” iron skillet sprayed with Baker’s Joy.

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Add raisins and pecans.

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Mix the rest of the ingredients and pour over bread. Using a fork, press the cubed bread down into the egg mixture to moisten it thoroughly. Drizzle the melted butter over the top. Bake in a preheated 350 degree oven till the top begins to brown and the filling is springy to the touch. Serve warm with ice cream.

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❤️

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“Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me.”\n‭‭Revelation‬ ‭3:20‬ ‭ESV‬‬

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\n", "date_published": "2017-12-30T02:30:39-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/12/30/let-me-entertain-you.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Fun","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/12/28/hygge-comfort.html", "title": "Hygge = Comfort", "content_html": "\"\"\n

Yesterday was a much better day. It still amazes me how quickly things shift for me since losing Mr. Virgo. Yes, it’s been nearly five years since he died. Yes, I am in a wonderful, fulfilling relationship. But am I the same as I was before the loss? No…not by a long shot. Is every aspect of that a bad thing? The loss…yes. The grief has been incredibly difficult. But the peace and personal growth I have grasped between the waves is nothing short of miraculous.

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I spent some time at the farm, soaking in the quiet winter sounds. Then came here to a quiet house. Mr. FixIt was off running errands so I curled up on the sofa, wrapped in the warmth of my fur throw made from the coat Mr. Virgo gave me our first married Christmas. The fire was going. The tree was lit. The soft scented candle I got for Christmas filled the air with the sweetness of apples and cinnamon. I asked Alexa to play the Zen Garden station on Amazon Music. The sun outside the window glittered on the new fallen snow. A cardinal sang in the brush next to the house. A cup of tea sat at my side. The freedom and peace was palpable.

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Again, in my ever hopeful way, I stared out the window…searching the barren landscape for the beauty of winter. It’s difficult for me. I’m a summer girl. I let my eyes move across the the hill to the road and over to the meadow. I love it here. There’s five acres of flat land out there. I let my mind wander to past dreams. I’ve always wanted a place where I could hold retreats for artists, writers, craftspeople. A place where my Sisters and Girl Camper friends could bring their trailers and circle around a campfire. The big pole building out back is the perfect size for barn sales and dances. I let my eyes move on. There’s a pool between the building and the house. I smiled. Pool parties, family gatherings, barbecues. I have plenty of things to look forward to in the coming months.

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I am also reminded of the term “hygge”. Originating in Scandinavia, the term means “simple, cozy pleasures, gratefulness, focusing on a better quality of life, taking pleasure in the presence in the gentle, an appreciation of the simple things in life, soothing things, a practical way of creating sanctuary, a place to restore and revive in the middle of very real life, evoking feelings of comfort” according to a recent article by Jan Zimmer, (Port Huron, Mich.) of the Times Herald. This will be my focus for the coming months. I will embrace the sunshine when it comes. I will listen for the song of the winter birds. I will sample teas and read and commune with my love. And, I will enjoy this end of the pendulum’s swing while I have it. ❤️

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“…his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.”\n‭‭Psalm‬ ‭30:5‬ ‭NIV‬‬

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\n", "date_published": "2017-12-28T02:30:42-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/12/28/hygge-comfort.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Grief","Hope","Positive Energy","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Humbled"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/11/21/the-nest.html", "title": "The Nest", "content_html": "

\"Bird’s “A bird’s nest from the farm.”

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One late fall day, I was walking down the long drive to get the mail and paper when I noticed an abandoned nest in the ditch. I’m not familiar enough to know what kind of bird made it although it is lined with mud. I know swallows do that. I picked up the little nest and sat it on the end of the old wooden ironing board I use as a perch for the cats and there it sat. That is, until I “decorated” for the holidays. I thought it looked better sitting beside the old hunting boots I found in a barrel downstairs.

\n
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One of the joys of living out on the farm is the vast number and variety of birds here. I could hardly wait to put out bird feeders. I have them situated so I can see them from the rocking chair in the front window. They remind me of a verse in the Bible that tells us not to worry about getting the things we need because if God provides for the sparrow, he will certainly provide for us. Everything a bird needs is found in nature. Our added efforts to draw them in with extra food only baits them for our viewing pleasure. But, even though God gives the worm, he doesn’t provide room service. The birds still have to get out every day and forage for sustenance. They have to work for their blessings…they just don’t worry about it. Good advice.

\n

God has buckets of blessings with our name on them. They are the blessings HE wants for us…not our selfish requests. HE wants to prosper us, but on HIS terms…not ours. I can’t just sit here in the rocking chair and wait for UPS to hand deliver my blessings. I have to suit up and show up. I have to prepare myself through prayer and meditation. I have to treat my body like the temple it is with proper food and activity. I have to maintain my health. For me, personally…I have to be in the Word every day. I have to practice all three parts of Matthew 7:7…ask, seek, and knock. The action words. When I “ask”, I ask for the blessings HE wants to give me. When I “seek”, I ask how I can best serve HIM, not the other way around. And when I “knock”, I beg God to open the door to His heart and shower me with the abundance HE has in mind. That is how I “work for my supper”. He feeds my spirit AND my life.

\n

So, just as the bird must work for the blessing of food, so do I. I am grateful for the beauty…and the bounty…in my life. ❤️

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“Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?”    ‭‭Matthew‬ ‭6:26‬ ‭NIV‬‬
\n
\n", "date_published": "2016-11-21T02:30:02-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/11/21/the-nest.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Prayer","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","God","Peace","Wisdom","Presence","Choices","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/11/20/first-snow.html", "title": "First Snow", "content_html": "

\"Snowflake\" “Snowflake”

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This is a big turning point in the year…the first snowflakes. They excite us. The holidays are coming. The turkey is probably thawing in your fridge. You are making your menu. You’ve shopped for the food. You’ve pulled out the recipes. You’ve invited family and friends. The games are scheduled. The marching bands will be descending on New York City any day. The workers are preparing the floats and the giant balloons. Deer season is starting. And here they are…the first flakes of snow.

\n
\n

I was standing in the Cook’s Store in Marietta after lunch yesterday when I overheard a couple talking about a bundt pan. The man admitted he used his as a water bowl for his dog. I tried not to show them I had overheard, but I was shaking as I laughed silently. I couldn’t help it. The look of horror on the face of the woman with him was classic! They noticed me and suddenly we were all having a grand, knee-slapping laugh. It was fun. It released a lot of stress to interact with total strangers with abandon. No agenda. We chatted a while then went on our way.

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I moved to the la Cruset display in the front window and saw a beautiful red tea pot. I look out the window and caught the first snowflakes of the season. I could hear the tea kettle whistle in my imagination so I brought that little red teapot to the little red farmhouse. We will have many lovely moments together.

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I lay in bed in the pale flickering candlelight and heard the icy snow hit the dry leaves with the same sound of sizzling bacon and wondered if it will amount to much. How will it affect my drive to church tomorrow? The first flakes of snow. The harbinger of change.

\n

Winter.

\n

May she come in peace. ❤️

\n
“He says to the snow, ‘Fall on the earth,’ and to the rain shower, ‘Be a mighty downpour.’ So that everyone he has made may know his work, he stops all people from their labor.”    Job‬ ‭37:6-7‬ ‭NIV‬‬
\n
\n", "date_published": "2016-11-20T02:30:10-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/11/20/first-snow.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","West Virginia","The Farm","Growth","Comfort","Grace","Peace","Wisdom","Presence","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/11/18/nesting.html", "title": "Nesting 2.0", "content_html": "

\"Jelly “My favorite piece of my childhood.”

\n

I gathered some of my belongings out of storage the other day and brought them to the farm. I kept my dearest antiques knowing someday I would either decorate TOW-Wanda or I would have a small home of my own again. I have postponed making this house my “home” for the last three months till I was fairly certain I wouldn’t be moving for a while. Now that I feel more secure in that, I’ve been nesting with a vengeance.

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\"Folkart\" “I bought this in an antique store in Carbondale, CO years ago. Perfect for my farmhouse kitchen.”

\n

I’m loving how cozy this place is getting. The items on top of the cabinets are special and I haven’t lived with them for two and a half years, at least. As I unwrapped the dishes Mr. Virgo gave me, I carefully cleaned them and placed them in the jelly cupboard so I can see and use them every day. The watering cans were in my flower garden in Colorado. They were literally the last thing I grabbed from my house as I left. The sap bucket on the far left was hanging here in the basement by my grandma’s old canning stove. The copper bucket on the far right holds my mom’s wooden clothespins. The crocks on top of the cabinets belonged to my late Uncle Bobby Joe’s grandparents…as did the little red rocking chair that was found in their barn years after they passed. The churns in the middle belonged to my grandma (left) and mom (right). The little lamb was my toy when I was a baby. The blue mason jar is a #13…rare because moonshiners broke #13’s because they were unlucky. The old lunchpail on the right belonged to my grandpa. The folk art “Homemade Pies” sign came from an antique shop in Colorado many years ago.

\n

\"Red “My favorite little red rocking chair…found in an old barn in West Virginia.”

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I made the door decoration yesterday from a horn I bought in a junk shop. That and the two candles in the first floor window constitute my entire holiday decorating since I’m going to Colorado for Christmas again this year. I found the bird’s nest in the ditch by the driveway this fall and the boots were an old pair in a barrel downstairs. I bought the handmade broom at Country Living Fair. And the little “dress” hanging from the light over the sink is a reproduction and is actually a tea towel. (My windows REALLY need washing!)

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\"Old “Old hunting boots from the basement.”

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I have a picture hanging in my bedroom here that says…“It’s not the size of the house but how happy the home.” My home is where I lay my head and I always make it happy. It might be a thirty foot camper on the road through Tennessee. Or it might be on a ridge overlooking the Ohio River. Or it might be on a farm that hold memories so thick they feel like cobwebs when I brush through them. I am rich beyond my wildest dreams. Not monetarily…I’m rich with family, love, memories, health, happiness, joy, and words. These are my everyday gifts from God. I am so blessed. ❤️

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\"Antiques\" “Treasures!”

\n
“Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.””    Hebrews‬ ‭13:5‬ ‭NIV‬‬
\n\"Antique “I made a wreath from an antique horn.”\n

\"Apron\" “Reproduction apron hanging from the light over the sink. Loving my farmhouse look.”

\n
\n", "date_published": "2016-11-18T02:30:12-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/11/18/nesting.html", "tags": ["Family","Fun","West Virginia","The Farm","Gratitude","Comfort","Peace","Presence","Downsizing","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/11/17/on-being-passionate.html", "title": "On Being Passionate", "content_html": "

\"Albert “A word from the wise.”

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It’s been a little over a week since the election. I don’t know about you…but I felt emotionally and physically exhausted after being subjected to such derision and anger on a daily basis. I, quite literally, was numb from the whole process and escaped through a cleaning frenzy the likes of which this house has not seen in years. And that’s from a woman who never watched TV throughout the entire campaign. I jumped on the Peace Train. I prayed and wrote and meditated and tried to wrap my head around the whole thing. Who I voted for doesn’t matter as much as the fact that I voted…there’s problems from both sides. I ride in the neutral zone here on The Ranch because politics raises passions and I respect you all…regardless of politics.

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One SHOULD be passionate about one’s beliefs. This election highlighted how divided we are as a nation. While I preach a message of peace, that doesn’t mean I should shirk my duties as a concerned, active citizen. I should learn everything there is to know about the issues that effect the world today. And…I can do that without hurting anyone. It is my responsibility to be a contributing member of society and research legislation so I can make informed choices in the polling booth.

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This isn’t easy for me. Conflict makes me extremely uncomfortable…being the child of an alcoholic can make it very difficult to be around verbal disagreements. However, I can still suit up and show up without entering into the fray. I can be passionate about being the change I want to see in the world. I don’t have to advertise my position in order to affect change. I can help…and I can do it from a place of love. ❤️

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“Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.”    Proverbs‬ ‭19:21‬ ‭NIV‬‬
\n", "date_published": "2016-11-17T02:30:33-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/11/17/on-being-passionate.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Comfort","Peace","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Presence","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/11/05/blessed-relief.html", "title": "Blessed Relief", "content_html": "\n
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After going at warp speed for weeks, I took it way down yesterday. I slept till 10:30. That's unheard of! I baked gluten free biscuits and sausage gravy for brunch. I voted and checked on my insurance. I browsed in a hundred year old Five & Dime. I bought a cookbook...a rare indulgence. I went for a leisurely drive through the country. I ate BBQ for dinner. Essentially...I indulged my every whim and enjoyed every second of it.

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We've talked about self care before. Giving yourself permission to slow down and do something you might consider self indulgent is necessary to your well being. Sitting here in the rocker with a hot cup of tea. Talking with a friend. Listening to good music. Pondering the richness of life. Gratitude bubbles up from my heart.

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The holidays are fast approaching. It will be a time of frenetic activity between gatherings with friends and family and traveling to Colorado to see my babies. Soon after, the doldrums of January and February will set in. I'm going to be proactive this year and look forward to some warm fun in the sun somewhere during those icy months. Placing something joyful in front of me. That has been my modus operandi since Mr. Virgo died. I'm not stopping now!

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❤️

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““Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”

\n‭‭Matthew‬ ‭11:28‬ ‭NIV‬‬\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2016-11-05T01:30:28-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/11/05/blessed-relief.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Gratitude","Comfort","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/10/30/theyre-baaaaack.html", "title": "They're Baaaaack!", "content_html": "\n
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Asian beetles....not to be confused with the common lady bug. Lady bugs are sweet. They eat aphids. You see one on the rarest of occasions when it lights on your sleeve. You pick it up on your finger and hold it to the wind and make a wish when it flies away. Asian beetles? You walk into your house on the first really hot day after the first freeze and hundreds...HUNDREDS of them are on the Windows, the curtains, the floor. They're tap-tap-tapping on the ceiling. You vacuum them up only to have more an hour later. They stink if to smash them. They leave unremovable yellow spots on everything. Gross!

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Then, there was the invasion of the possums last night. I was eating dinner when I heard the familiar loud crunching in the cat dish. They simply do NOT have table manners! I've chased them off. I'd trap them if I thought I could stand to go near the trap afterwards. I think I would just catch one in the trap and then move to another state!

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The colors yesterday were absolutely amazing! The sun hit them just right and suddenly there are a lot of reds coming out. I went for a drive in the country and stopped at my favorite antique store. I bought a small section of a ladder from an apple orchard. I want to hang it from the ceiling and hang pots from it in the kitchen or herbs in the dining room. Or, I could prop it up against a wall and fold quilts over the rungs.

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Cold weather brings out the domestic goddess in me. I cooked a brisket in the crock pot yesterday that was killer. I served it with mashed red potatoes and the best Brussels sprouts. A baked apple topped it off for the perfect fall meal!

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Ginny's Brisket

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Rinse a medium sized brisket. Pat dry. Trim any extra fat on the bottom side. Sear both sides in a hot skillet. Place on cutting board and cut in large chunks. Place in crock pot. Sprinkle with a little garlic powder. Slice one large yellow onion and place the rings on top of the meat. Pour one bottle of Heinz Chili Sauce over all. Fill chili sauce bottle with water and shake then pour around the edge. Cover with lid and cook on high in your crock pot for at least 5 hours. Yummy!!!

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❤️

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“So heap on the wood and kindle the fire. Cook the meat well, mixing in the spices; and let the bones be charred.”‬‬

\n‭‭Ezekiel‬ ‭24:10‬ ‭NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2016-10-30T01:30:39-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/10/30/theyre-baaaaack.html", "tags": ["Comfort","Farm Life","Baking","Cooking","In the Kitchen"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/10/22/colors.html", "title": "Colors", "content_html": "\n
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I awoke in the night with the drumming of a hard rain on the roof of my camper. I love rain...especially in the camper or on the tin roof of the farm house. The roof of my truck was a solid mat of wet leaves. The air was dense with the humidity of an autumn fog. The soft unfocused green of the pine boughs formed tear-like droplets as the trees mourned the passing of their season. The air was still. The smell of pine sap mixed with the gentle wisps from a neighboring campfire. It was a good day.

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Days like this bring me back to the first fall after Mr. Virgo died. I lived in a subdivision with covenants so I could not have TOW-Wanda in front of my house. I missed her terribly. I was forced to live in my house where Mr. Virgo lurked behind every corner. Not having my \"traveling companion\" at hand made me anxious and depressed. Time has healed that particular wound. Although he still creeps in now and then. I was sitting in the camper yesterday thinking...

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\"This. This is what we planned for. This is what we worked towards. And you aren't here to enjoy it with me.\"

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\"I know, baby doll. I know. But look at you! You pull this thing like a boss!\"
I smiled.

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\"I know! You would be so proud of me!\"

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\"I AM proud of you, baby. I watch everything you do. You're doing great!\"
\"But...I'm getting tired of doing this alone. I want someone to share this with.\"

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\"I know you do, honey. I know you do. Keep your eyes open. I'll send someone special. Just be patient. You'll know when it's the one.\"

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\"You've always loved me and taken care of me, haven't you? I have no doubt you'll do this, too. I'll always miss you.\"

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\"We'll meet again, my love. Someday!\"

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These \"conversations\" with Mr. Virgo always leave me breathless but hopeful. My world brightens...even in the midst of a gloomy day.

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❤️

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“He reveals deep and mysterious things and knows what lies hidden in darkness, though he is surrounded by light.”

\n‭‭Daniel‬ ‭2:22‬ ‭NLT‬‬\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2016-10-22T01:30:58-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/10/22/colors.html", "tags": ["Grief","Comfort","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/10/20/my-safe-place.html", "title": "My Safe Place", "content_html": "\n
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Awwww....the only bad thing about living out on the farm is not traveling and camping with TOW-Wanda. She's parked on the long drive up past the farmhouse and I've decided I'm going to keep her set up and visit her often during the winter.

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When I had little TOW-Wanda, I had to store her at a site over by the county airport. I did not like that one bit. I would go out every Sunday after church to read and take a nap. There were some Sundays in the dead of winter that I trudged through knee deep snow to get to her, but I went without fail. My campers have always been my sanctuary. For a long time, the camper was my safe place where I could get away from the pain of living in my house without Mr. Virgo. Then it became my quiet place to read and meditate. Now it has become my peaceful place to write. My \"study\", of sorts. I have a twin bed in the slide out filled with pillows. I can curl up with my fur throw and write while I listen to the songbirds in the dogwood out my window. I play soft music in the background. I make a pot of tea. It's positively civilized.

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But this weekend....we're headed into the woods again for one last long camping weekend before the frosts come, this big gal and me. TOW-Wanda will get a bath and get all cleaned up and winterized before I take her back to the farm and park her for the winter. As I pulled her down the highway today I thought back over how different my life is now as opposed to when I started out on my long three month journey into the wilderness and backroads of Colorado not two months after Mr. Virgo died. I'm a totally different woman now. I have different dreams. Different goals. I don't look the same. I don't act the same. Even some of my beliefs have changed. God knew what he was doing when he whispered, \"Look for joy!\" Joy is exactly what TOW-Wanda has brought me.

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As wonderful as TOW-Wanda is...God is my safe place. He will give me all I need.

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❤

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God is our safe place and our strength. He is always our help when we are in trouble.

\nPsalms 46:1 NLV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2016-10-20T01:30:12-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/10/20/my-safe-place.html", "tags": ["TOW-Wanda!","Gratitude","Comfort"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/10/13/letting-go.html", "title": "Letting Go", "content_html": "\n
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I've been having a little trouble with writer's block lately. It's not necessarily that the words won't come. I write...then, when I go back later and read it, I hate it. It's extremely frustrating because it's hard to make progress when you're writing the same chapter over and over. This happens once in a while and, as my agent says, \"Good writing can't be rushed.\" The harder I try to forge my way through it, the worse it seems to get. So, I have to practice, yet again, letting go.

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I'm a bit of a control freak. I don't like letting go. It leads me down paths that are sometimes dark...sometimes scary. Letting go isn't always easy. But, I'm reminded as I look out over the hills surrounding this little red farmhouse...there's something beautiful in letting go of what holds you tight. There's freedom in the wind.

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Our trees aren't of a brilliant hue this season. We had a long hot and dry spell in August and September so there isn't as much sugar in the leaves. The dropping of leaves is inevitable. The letting go has to come or there won't be the lush growth of spring. There has to be a period of dormancy. Without it, there would be no change. Maybe the lesson here is to make sure to feed and nourish your spirit in the growing season in order to see the brilliance and the beauty of the colors so letting go becomes more of a celebration.

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I always write my posts at night and schedule them to post at 4:00 so you have them early. Occasionally, it's after midnight and I inadvertently schedule the wrong day. That happened today. And, as is the case with much of my writing lately...I erased the whole thing and started over. But now...now I'm listening to rain on the tin roof of this farmhouse that I love. I'm snuggled under the throw made from the fur Mr. Virgo gave me. Coffee is in my immediate future. I'm letting go today. The words will come.

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❤️

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“\"Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.”‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭43:18-19‬ ‭ESV‬‬

\n\n", "date_published": "2016-10-13T01:30:22-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/10/13/letting-go.html", "tags": ["The Farm","Gratitude","Comfort","Farm Life"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/09/22/the-comfort-zone.html", "title": "The Comfort Zone", "content_html": "\n
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I don't know what happened to the post I wrote for yesterday. I suppose it got lost somewhere in the airwaves along with the video of my talk Sunday night. Facebook isn't always cooperative, is it?

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While trying myriad ways to post that video, I had a lot of time to reflect on just how far I've come in the last several years. There was a time when the thoughts of speaking in front of a group of people would have sent me into a tizzy. Stage fright kept me from doing many things I would have liked to do in my life. Community theater, musical performance, and even stand-up comedy are all dreams I've had at one point or another...but fear kept me from pursuing any of them.

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One morning, probably twenty years ago, I was visiting with friends over breakfast at one of my favorite restaurants in Glenwood Springs. Cris Aronson was there. She was the high school speech and drama teacher at the time. Someone was talking about how great life was going for them and, in my best Ethel Merman impression, I started belting out \"Everything's coming up roses...\" Cris whipped around and looked at me and said, \"You can sing!\" I assured her, I could not...even after singing right in front of her. A few weeks later, she called me and said she was directing Fiddler on the Roof for the community theater and she wanted me to come try out. As a matter of fact, she said she chose that musical with me in mind. Oh, no. No...sorry. No way! The thoughts made me want to throw up.

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It makes me sad to look back at that woman who was so afraid. How many opportunities did she miss? How many times did she listen to the opinions of others and believe she wasn't good enough? Countless, I'm afraid. It took a potentially lethal overdose and the death of my handsome Mr. Virgo to bring me out. To strip away the fears that have held me back for so long. And now, look at that beautiful, confident woman in this picture. I'm not saying that to brag...I'm just marveling at the difference. When people tell me I glow, I know where my light comes from. God shines through us when we let Him. It's how we bring light into the world. And oh...this world needs more light! So, I'll keep shining my light at every opportunity. And I'll post pictures. Not in a boastful way...but with love and encouragement. I know I'm not the only one who suffers from stage fright. I'm not the only one who has suffered low self-esteem and anxiety and depression. God knows, if I can do this...anyone can. It just takes standing up. And lots of prayer.

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❤️

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“Joshua said to them, “Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Be strong and courageous. This is what the Lord will do to all the enemies you are going to fight.””

\n‭‭Joshua‬ ‭10:25‬ ‭NIV‬‬\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2016-09-22T01:30:15-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/09/22/the-comfort-zone.html", "tags": ["Grief","Growth","Comfort","Aging"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/09/16/flowers-for-my-table.html", "title": "Flowers for my Table", "content_html": "\n
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In the 21 years of my second marriage, I can count on one hand the number of times I got a bouquet of fresh flowers for no reason. As a matter of fact, I can count on one finger. It happened once in all that time. I understand why. For one thing, we didn't have the money for it till the later years. For another, I was married to a man whose idea of romance was best demonstrated in his marriage proposal delivered during the commercial break of an Audie Murphy movie one Saturday afternoon.

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\"So...you wanna get married?\"

\n\n\n

\"I'm sorry...what?\"

\n\n\n

\"I'm not sayin' it twice.\"

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Ummmmm...yeah, sure. That'd be great. No, romance was not his strong suit. So, after we separated, I bought myself a beautiful bouquet of fresh cut flowers every week for five years. I was making up for lost time. Nothing extravagant...just a little bouquet picked up in the produce section of the grocery store. I don't ask for much.

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Then Mr. Virgo came along. He brought me flowers a lot. Not every week. But he would often buy me a white orchid that would bloom for weeks. And when it died, he bought me another one. He was good about that. And cards? Man...that guy could buy a card that was absolutely guaranteed to make me cry like a little girl. I mean like snotty mess cry. That's a real man right there.

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After Mr. Virgo died, I stopped getting flowers. No more sweet bouquets from the case at the grocery store. Oh, there have been a couple of suitors along the way who were kind enough to bring me a bouquet or two. Then, when I started staying out at the farm, I decided it was flower time again. All white bouquets are my favorite. I love the clean, elegance of the white blooms against the green of the foliage. It appeals to my inner Grace Kelly. It's a tiny indulgence that packs a big punch in the joy department.

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This week's bouquet was still so pretty when I left that I didn't want to leave it to die alone. I toted it with me to Columbus and up to my hotel room Wednesday night. Then, when I changed hotels yesterday morning, I totally forgot it in the room! Bummer. I hope someone gets to enjoy it. I'll get another next week.

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❤️

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““Consider how the wild flowers grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.”

\n‭‭Luke‬ ‭12:27‬ ‭NIV‬‬\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2016-09-16T01:30:51-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/09/16/flowers-for-my-table.html", "tags": ["Gratitude","Comfort","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/09/02/a-room-with-a-view.html", "title": "A Room With a View", "content_html": "\n
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I'm getting into a routine here at the farm. I wake up, make my coffee, and take my reading to the front porch. This is my view. It is sometimes foggy early and it lends a dampening stillness. I sit and drink my coffee, read my devotional, say my prayers, and read a few pages of a couple of books. By then the newspaper has been delivered. I walk down to the road there and get it, read the news and check the classifieds and obits, read Dear Abby and my horoscope, then settle in to do the puzzles. Once I finish that, I get some chores done around the house or out on the grounds. At lunchtime, I drive up to the cemetery to write my post and read my messages. When I return to the farm, I write on my book. It is so peaceful and serene here.
I was thrilled to have the gas turned on again. Now there's hot water...and plenty of scrubbing being done!

\n\n\n

No word from the hotel regarding the roof rack issue.

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❤️

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\n

“Open my eyes that I may see wonderful things in your law.”‭‭

\nPsalm‬ ‭119:18‬ ‭NIV‬‬\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2016-09-02T01:30:31-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/09/02/a-room-with-a-view.html", "tags": ["The Farm","Comfort","Peaceful Moments","Farm Life"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/08/21/best-of-both-worlds.html", "title": "Best of Both Worlds", "content_html": "\n
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I am so incredibly blessed. Splitting my time between the farm and the river is perfect. The farm is so peaceful...even though the first couple of weeks has been taken up with cleaning, painting and flea wrangling. My days are so simple. I get up and feed the kitties, put on my coffee, and walk across the road to get the paper. I take my coffee to the porch, read the paper, and do the puzzles. Then it's time to do a good solid 3-4 hours work on a project involving upkeep/improvement. I break for lunch and write for the next 3-4 hours. In the evening, I make phone calls, read, and write.

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By the time the weekend rolls around, it is time to go to the river. Lazy mornings, coffee, exercise, boating or kayaking, reading, writing, socializing...it's a simple life. It will become more complicated in the winter but for now, I'm enjoying the simplicity.

\n\n\n

Last night was Homecoming and I met friends for a Fleetwood Mac tribute band and fireworks. Today, I have my Serve Team orientation at church. I have never officially been trained and served in a church before so I am very much looking forward to this. I love the feeling of belonging...of fitting in.

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❤️

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“God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them.”

\nHebrews 6:10 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2016-08-21T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/08/21/best-of-both-worlds.html", "tags": ["Gratitude","Comfort","Farm Life"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/08/19/painting.html", "title": "Painting", "content_html": "\n
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This house is old. Really old. And there hasn't been regular maintenance done in quite some time, as you can see. In addition to ridding the basement of fleas, I am cleaning, clearing, and freshening the place up with a coat of paint. I'm not sure what kind of paint was on this wall before, but it's soaking the primer (the white paint) up like a sponge. It's going to look so much better when it's done! I'm trying to wrap this up before I head to Washington, DC next week for my talk at the International Conference on Positive Aging. I'm getting really excited for that!

\n\n\n

It takes an hour round trip to get to cell service and I need to get back to my painting before the afternoon rains. This weekend is Homecoming in my hometown so I'm heading back to TOW-Wanda tomorrow.

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❤️

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““My food,” said Jesus, “is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work.”

\nJohn 4:34 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2016-08-19T01:30:47-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/08/19/painting.html", "tags": ["West Virginia","The Farm","Comfort","Farm Life"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/08/18/ginny-lynne.html", "title": "Ginny Lynne", "content_html": "\n
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That is me on my first birthday. Grandma called me \"Pet\". I think she called all little ones \"Pet\", but I'm going to pretend it was just for me. I'm painting the living room while I wait for the toxic waste to nuke the fleas. It may be working. Of course, I'm probably going to grow a third arm out of my forehead!

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As I was painting I noticed it was getting really black outside. I'm beginning to be able to read the skies better out there now. I'm used to the wide open sky of Colorado where you see a storm coming from miles off. This one looked bad so I quit painting and quickly cleaned up. The pump on the well runs on electric and service can get dicey in the country. Good thing I did because I no sooner turned off the water till the skies opened up and we got a torrential downpour. We had a big crash of thunder, the electric flickered a couple of times, then went off at 6:00. It was still off at 9:45 in the morning when I headed to the nearest place for coffee and Wi-Fi. Yes...Wi-Fi! There's a little town east of me with a gas station, convenience store, restaurant and tire center. Good country breakfast, coffee and Wi-Fi. And they said I can stay as long as I want to! Wahoo!!!

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So, with a full tummy, hope for a flea-free house, and deadlines to meet, I leave you for another day.

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❤️

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“You say, “I choose the appointed time; it is I who judge with equity.”

\nPsalm 75:2 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2016-08-18T01:30:11-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/08/18/ginny-lynne.html", "tags": ["West Virginia","The Farm","Comfort","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/08/08/home-of-my-heart.html", "title": "Home of my Heart", "content_html": "\n
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Just a quick note to let you know I arrived safely. I had to run to the next little small town to buy a long distance calling card. I can't be TOTALLY cut off from the world! I'm going to sleep till noon tomorrow! I haven't stopped running since I got to WV. It's so peaceful in this little holler. Can't wait to sit on the porch and listen to the night. Talk to you soon!

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❤️

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\n

“The Lord gives strength to his people; the Lord blesses his people with peace.”

\nPsalm 29:11 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2016-08-08T01:30:59-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/08/08/home-of-my-heart.html", "tags": ["Family","The Farm","Gratitude","Comfort","Peaceful Moments","Farm Life","Memories","Healing"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/07/31/rhubarb.html", "title": "Rhubarb", "content_html": "\n
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My grandma always cooked rhubarb and served it as a sauce...sort of like applesauce. There was always a covered dish in the fridge with this sweet-tart, pale pink nectar of the gods. She had to swat me away from it or I would eat the whole thing.

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I used to cook up rhubarb when my father-in-law would bring us a mess of it. At dinner last night, my older daughter told us she often came home and there would be two buckets full of rhubarb on her porch and she knew Pop had been there.

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We celebrated my son-in-law's grandma's birthday last night. Since I'm not eating gluten, I didn't have cake. But I did splurge with a little vanilla ice cream with warmed strawberry-rhubarb sauce over it. Oh, that was heavenly...taking me back in time. The addition of strawberries gives just a little something extra to an already divine concoction. Grandma Lois turned 87 and she wanted me to share the recipe she used.

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Grandma Lois' Strawberry-Rhubarb

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This sauce is wonderful warm over ice cream. The family ate it over angel food cake last night although they are quite fond of serving it over warm biscuits. It's great as a side with roast pork. And...it's good straight out of the pan with a spoon. When I think of summer foods, I think of watermelon, cantaloupe, tomatoes, corn on the cob, cucumbers and onions, and rhubarb. Once I have had those foods, it's really been summer.

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❤️

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“This is what the Sovereign Lord showed me: a basket of ripe fruit.”

\nAmos 8:1 NIV\n
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Photo Credit: sunnysidelocal.com

\n\n", "date_published": "2016-07-31T01:30:38-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/07/31/rhubarb.html", "tags": ["Family","Comfort","Farm Life","Memories","Cooking","In the Kitchen"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/07/29/have-a-seat.html", "title": "Have a Seat", "content_html": "\n
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Remember these? Everyone had them on their porches and in front of their trailers. What treasures they are. We never owned any, but I remember hot summer nights when we were visiting people. We'd come outside after supper and sit in the dark on the porch, hoping to catch a cool breeze. A tall glass of sweet tea sat sweating in a puddle on the matching table beside you. The metal felt cool on your bare legs. Some were made with springs to allow you to rock...well, more like bounce, really.

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We did our best to dissuade the beastly mosquitos...big enough to carry you back to the nest and share with the whole congregation. I am sure Kung Fu was invented because of that incessant buzzing near your ear. As dusk began to settle, the night watchmen came out in the form of lightning bugs (fireflies to some)...shining their neon green lanterns. Children ran around the yard with canning jars and lids to catch them. I had a country cousin who squished their little tail ends and put the glowing glob of gut goo on her fingers and wrists for a kind of macabre jewelry. It was great fun then but decidedly unappealing now...the squishing of bugs for adornment.

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In the distance, the distinct call of the whippoorwill sent a sigh of contentment around the old folks. Such a mournful, sweet call that is more and more difficult to find these days. One evening, as we listened to the far off call of the whippoorwill, we heard an earth shattering scream that sounded like a woman getting attacked. Almost instantly, the bird call stopped in mid-\"poor\" and grandpa told us the bobcat got it. The circle of life is learned early on the farm.

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I spotted these beauties rusting in the New Mexico sun, lined up in a throwback vintage trailer park and couldn't resist snapping a few photos of them. I could just imagine the women sitting out here with their sun hats, play suits, spectator pumps...cosmos in hand, ice tinkling as their laughter filled the air. The husbands stood off to the side, carefully pressed white shirts tucked into their sharply pleated chinos....discussing \"manly\" things like cars and sports and politics. Children played Red Rover and Kick the Can as they dodged between the sleek and shiny Airstreams and the smaller Shastas that housed them on their travels.

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I've been feeling oddly reminiscent this week. I guess I'm longing for a more genteel time when words weren't so easily turned into weapons and Lawrence Welk distracted us from more pressing matters. Danny Thomas and Red Skelton, Minnie Pearl and Grandpa Jones. I Love Lucy. Comfort shows. I am tired of feeling scared by the media. I have to remind myself who's REALLY in charge here. That soothes my mind.

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❤️

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\n

“But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing the Lord’s praise, for he has been good to me.”

\nPsalm 13:5-6 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2016-07-29T01:30:15-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/07/29/have-a-seat.html", "tags": ["Family","Comfort","Memories"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/07/07/towwanda-blues.html", "title": "TOW-Wanda Blues", "content_html": "\n
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I miss my girl! I didn't think I would, but I do. I miss my own bed. My little house on wheels. I never dreamed a camper would turn into such a sanctuary. I have been looking at a lot of pictures of my journeys over the last three years. I'm working on my book proposal and the pictures help me keep things in chronological order and remind me of the different legs of the three month trip I took in Little TOW-Wanda. For those of you who are new, I bought my first camper two weeks after Mr. Virgo died. A little 16' camper with bunk beds for my grandkids. She was truly my sanctuary. I felt safe, like a little cocoon. After I sold my house and decided to live full time in my camper, I traded up for the 30' TOW-Wanda Grande. This picture shows the new backsplash I put in her...the first step to glamping her up. I have the paint and I'm going to paint the inside when I get back.

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I also miss the river. There is something special about the flow of energy where I am parked. It's so peaceful there. It's funny...I feel anchored when I'm with TOW-Wanda at the river. Well, with TOW-Wanda anywhere, really. She represents stability to me.

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Right now though, my focus is spending time with my family. The grandkids are growing so fast! We haven't had much of an agenda this week. Just hanging out, visiting, cooking, writing, helping out where I can. It's been very nice to just slow down and BE. This time will pass too quickly and I'll be heading back to WV before I know it.

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❤️

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“The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit.””

\nJohn 3:8 NIV\n
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\n\n", "date_published": "2016-07-07T01:30:46-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/07/07/towwanda-blues.html", "tags": ["TOW-Wanda!","Comfort","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/06/22/the-power-of-song.html", "title": "The Power of Song", "content_html": "\n
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My younger daughter has her mama's heart. Soft...tender...loving. She shared this video yesterday and it touched my heart as it did hers.

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Mr. Virgo's was a snatch death. He was gone within 3-4 hours after having his heart attack. I sat with a woman in Aspen Monday who watched her husband die of leukemia. My heart ached for her loss because it seems so much harder than mine. I cannot imagine losing Mr. Virgo a minute at a time...as so many of you experienced your losses.

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I went through hospice training many, many years ago. And before I could get a client, I became pregnant with my second daughter. My hormonal condition wouldn't have helped anyone so I never ended up volunteering. Hubby #2 ran the local hospice and delivered local cancer care before the hospital acquired an oncologist. I was well versed in theory, if not in actual practice.

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When it is time for me to cross over, I want a threshold choir to come sing me home. What a beautiful, touching service to humanity. God bless these loving people.

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Watch \"Singing to the Dying\" HERE.

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❤️

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“Worship the Lord with gladness; come before him with joyful songs.”

\nPsalm 100:2 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2016-06-22T01:30:52-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/06/22/the-power-of-song.html", "tags": ["Grief","Comfort","Courage","Aging"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/06/20/motivation-monday.html", "title": "Motivation Monday", "content_html": "\n
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I spent so much of my life questioning my worth...my purpose. I wondered what possible difference I was really making in the world. What a sad state of affairs. I guess I'm just a late bloomer. I was like a bobber on a fishing line. Kinda floating along giving some indication now and then when something struck from below. There was no thought of being the rod and reel where the work gets done.

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I am a \"fisher\" now. I look for opportunities. I cast my words out into the world hoping they save even just one person from making the same mistakes I did/do. I operated from a place of fear. Once in a while, I find myself back on that all too familiar path. It usually happens in a moment of weakness...for instance, when I'm not feeling well. That's when I can hear the lies being whispered inside. The negative self talk. Where did we learn such cruel language? When did we start thinking it was ok to talk to ourselves like this? We certainly wouldn't tolerate it if someone else spoke to us in such an ugly manner...so why do we listen? Who taught us to do this to ourselves...and sometimes to each other?

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We each are born with a special set of gifts. It doesn't matter if you were born dirt poor or with a silver spoon in your mouth. It doesn't matter what shade melanin has made your skin. It doesn't matter who you love or what you look like. Every single one of us have valuable gifts that were specifically given to us to share with the world simply because the world needs it. I want you to hear me here...the WORLD needs that one special thing that only YOU can provide. You are important...no matter what that lying little snark in your brain is saying to you.

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I let that little you-know-what live in my head rent free for far too long. I let her eat my lunch. I let her tell me I was toooooo...what? Fat? Ugly? Old? Stupid? Loud? Too much...whatever? I looked for every clue thrown my way by unthinking, uncaring people that would support the voice that was shouting in my head. Mr. Virgo helped me send that voice packing. I'd tell him what the voice said and he'd hold me and tell me how wonderful I was. I would tell him the things people said that \"proved\" the voice was right and he'd hold my hand, look me deep in the eyes and say, \"Honey, you know that's crazy, right?\" And he said it enough and held me enough till I finally believed him and kicked that snarky voice right outta Dodge.

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Then...he died.

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Now it's up to me to remember his words. It's up to me to be my own cheerleader...my own guardian. I know it's harder when you don't feel good and when you're down. But that's when you have to dig down deep and remember...the world needs what you've got. And don't let that inner bully tell you any different.

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❤️

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“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.””

\nDeuteronomy 31:6 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2016-06-20T01:30:23-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/06/20/motivation-monday.html", "tags": ["Comfort","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/06/09/coffee-and-geraniums.html", "title": "Coffee and Geraniums", "content_html": "\n
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It's a pristine day in Tennessee!

\n\n", "date_published": "2016-06-09T01:30:10-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/06/09/coffee-and-geraniums.html", "tags": ["Family","Travel","Comfort"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/05/29/home.html", "title": "Home", "content_html": "\n

I've never had just one \"home\". I leave pieces of my heart wherever those I love reside. Even after living in Colorado for 40 years, \"home\" was always West Virginia. Yet, \"home\" is with my children and grandchildren and my brother and friends in Colorado, as well. When I visit my cousins in Tennessee and Pendleton County, I sleep soundly under their roof as I am \"home\". It's the same at Patti's in California and Jamie's in Cincinnati and Cindy's in Troy and Greg's in New Castle. \"Home\" is also with my best friend.

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\"Home\" is wherever I park TOW-Wanda. I've been \"home\" in the wilderness of Colorado and on a bluff overlooking the Ohio River. I've been \"home\" overlooking the Atlantic in Myrtle Beach. I'm just as much at \"home\" in one place as I am another once I get there. I guess I learned this early on as a new military bride living overseas. I learned to make the people I love my \"home\".

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I yearn for a \"home\" that I'm afraid isn't mine to have. An island in this vast sea of humanity. A place to rest my head that offers me the same love and security that I offer in return. I've had that kind of \"home\" with Mr. Virgo. I want that kind of \"home\" again...but this time I want it on my own terms. I want \"home\"...AND I want my freedom. I want that touchstone AND I need my own place. It's a dichotomy. A conundrum. One that could be difficult to find....but not impossible. Maybe.

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I am grateful for my many \"homes\". I am grateful for the many people who welcome me in their lives and love every little bit of my quirky self. But, I don't know if I'll ever be completely \"home\" in any one place with any one person. Not right now anyway.

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❤️

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“By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established; through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures.”

\nProverbs 24:3-4 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2016-05-29T01:30:39-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/05/29/home.html", "tags": ["Gratitude","Comfort"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/05/11/music-from-the-heart.html", "title": "Music From the Heart", "content_html": "\n
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For a very long time after losing Mr. Virgo...my world went dark and silent. I saw no colors. I heard no music. There was no real joy except when I hugged my children and grandchildren and when I snuggled down in TOW-Wanda. I was floating in this cosmic wasteland, searching for something I remembered...something familiar. Something that was now far removed from me. I had a sense things would eventually come back into focus. I did everything I could to move the time line along, but there was no way that was going to happen. I had to just resign myself to the fact I was going to have to ride this one out.

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I started seeing color again in the second year. Music came back into my life in the third year. This year...my year to thrive...has seen a virtual explosion in my life. My heart is full to overflowing and love is splashing everywhere. My mind has opened and I'm learning and growing. Age is blessing me with cahunas big enough to shoo away the negatives and draw the positives very close. God is blessing me with the most beautiful people in my life and such amazing opportunities. Wisdom and discernment are gifts of age and man, am I glad those two finally showed up!

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I love how music has filled my life again. Special songs with poignant lyrics keep turning up to fill my heart. I throw the door open wide and invite them in. Bring your friends...we're celebrating. Life, love, spring, rain on the camper roof, the smell of new mown grass. Curried salmon. Juicy fresh berries. Thunder. And...Blue Velvet...At Last...The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face. I'm drunk with the love of life. This is the hope I wished for. I prayed for this. This is me...living life again. There may very well be dark days on occasion but now that I know this is possible, those dark days don't scare me anymore.

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❤️

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“Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.”

\nRomans 12:9-10 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2016-05-11T01:30:54-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/05/11/music-from-the-heart.html", "tags": ["Grief","Comfort","Courage","Be Joyful!","Healing"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/05/09/grandmas-rhododendron.html", "title": "Grandma's Rhododendron", "content_html": "\n
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I wouldn't necessarily say my mom's mom had much of a green thumb...at least not with house plants. I don't think it ever occurred to her, as a farm woman, to have plants indoors. She would have seen it as frivolous and a complete waste of time, space, and resources. She did enjoy the occasional bouquet of posies on the dining room table but that was it. Grandma had a really good eye for planting outdoors though. She managed to plant flowers that bloomed in succession so there was always color around the yard. And her vegetable garden was always remarkable.

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I tried having gardens. From little beds of tomatoes to square foot gardening to a massive 4000 square foot garden that served merely to feed the prolific deer in the area. I pretty much came to the conclusion farmers markets are there for a reason. I used to can and preserve a lot. Jams, jellies, pickles, green beans, tomatoes, applesauce and peaches were my staples. I love canning, but no longer have the room for prepping, cooking, or storage. It's one of the things I let go for this new life I've created.

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I have become a sort of life architect. I first had to give thought to what I want my life to look like, then I had to ask God to bring the building blocks, and now I'm fitting them this way and that to see what fits where. After the initial heartache of having the need to do this, I have discovered the joys of creating the beautiful life I want to live. Sometimes I try to fit something in that really wasn't meant for me. Then I have to back up and dismantle a little and start again. Such is the nature of life in general, but after great loss, it's more poignant...more intentional. At least it has been for me.

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As I prepared to photograph grandma's rhododendron, this lovely swallowtail butterfly came and lit right in front of me. Another God moment. Another moment with Mr. Virgo.

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❤️

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“He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake.”

\nPsalm 23:2-3 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2016-05-09T01:30:09-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/05/09/grandmas-rhododendron.html", "tags": ["Family","Comfort","Farm Life"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/05/05/the-puzzle.html", "title": "The Puzzle", "content_html": "\n
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When you lose your loved one, a giant gaping hole is instantly ripped in your heart. It is ragged and bloody and sends horrible sounds up your throat and out of your mouth. These guttural wails are the initial rages of acute grief...raw and unimaginable. They come of their own free will. There's no rhyme or reason to it. Three months after Mr. Virgo died and I had returned from my journey through the wilderness of Colorado, I was beginning to cook for myself again. I was rummaging in the spice cabinet when I moved a jar aside and saw it. Mr. Virgo's secret stash of jelly beans. There were only a couple handfuls left. I crumpled. I laid my forehead on the counter and wailed. Sounds I didn't know I could make...the ragged sobs coming from someplace deep within like a wounded animal.

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In time, the wretched wound began to heal around the edges and take on a somewhat familiar shape...like the missing piece of a puzzle. I tried to stuff anything I could in that hole to stem the bleeding of my soul. I had a couple \"relationships\"... desperate attempts to replace what I had lost. I soon came to realize the futility of that endeavor. I spent too much, ate too much, traveled too much. I finally swore off adding any new relationships for a year and cut back on everything else.

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Somewhere this spring, as the new grass peeked it's fresh green shoots toward the sun and life returned to my winter weary soul, I slowly recognized the shape of that hole in my heart. It is the exact size and shape of my memories of Mr. Virgo. I puzzled over this for days. What would happen if I just took those beautiful memories and slid them right in that space? I tried...and at first it seemed impossible. I turned them this way and that. I had a death grip on them for fear letting go would mean they would slip away from me and no longer be mine. I would lose him, all over again. And...I couldn't bear that. So I had a talk with God.

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\"What are you doing, my child?\"

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\"Oh, it's YOU! You startled me...I was concentrating.\"

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\"Yes, I've been watching you. What you have here is a puzzle.\"

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\"It's like one of those puzzle boxes. I have this piece...all my memories of Mr. Virgo. And I can see this hole in my heart here exactly matches. But, try as I might, I can't get it to fit.\" ***grunting as I push and shove. I finally sit back on my heels in frustration.*** \"Can you help me?\"

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\"Ahhhh, I've been waiting for you to ask. You've been really struggling with this. Tell me what is bothering you...why are you holding on so tightly?\"

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\"Because...I'm afraid.\"

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\"What is your fear?\"

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\"I'm afraid if I let go, I'll forget him.\" I hung my head in sadness.

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God wrapped His arms around me and said, \"I know. It's scary because you aren't remembering something really important.\"

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I look up at the sunset in front of me. \"I don't understand. I've remembered everything.\"

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\"Look at the sunset that I've given you. Does the shape of the sun ever change?\"

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\"No, of course not.\"

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\"You're right. It is the same every single day...even when clouds obscure it from view, the sun is the perfect shape and it still sets...day after day after day. Why do you suppose that is?\"

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\"Because, You made it so. I trust that it's there, even when I can't see it.\"

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\"Well, if I can make something so big and wonderful as sunsets, don't you think I can help you slip this puzzle piece in and hold it for you?\"

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\"He won't disappear?\"

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\"Did the sun?\"

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\"No.\"

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\"I promise, I'll take very good care of your memories. You've been carrying them so tight, you can't do anything else. Here, hand them to Me...let Me slip them in your heart. I'll keep them safe.\"

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I looked down at the package of memories. I could see them in there...our wedding, and standing on the edge of the Grand Canyon, and our last Christmas. I could see our laughter, our hands together, our lovemaking on a rainy afternoon in September. I could see the way he looked at me with such love in his eyes. I looked up and said, \"Ok. Here. You can have them.\"

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God carefully took that precious bundle, gently took my hands from their grip on the edge, and slipped that perfect piece into the perfect place. It was an exact fit. \"It's not going to feel the same as it did before, my child. You'll always feel the rough edges. I put them there to remind you he is here. He will always and forever be right here and you can visit him any time you want, ok?\"

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I felt lighter. I felt something special had happened. I felt my heart suddenly become full again. God let me fill what had been a ragged, awful, gaping wound with the most perfect package of love and light...my husband. It feels so much better now.

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❤

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“He has remembered his love and his faithfulness to Israel; all the ends of the earth have seen the salvation of our God.”

\nPsalm 98:3 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2016-05-05T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/05/05/the-puzzle.html", "tags": ["Grief","Comfort","God","Healing"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/04/23/for-isabel.html", "title": "For Isabel", "content_html": "\n
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For Isabel...born sleeping.
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“Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.”

\nMatthew 5:4, 8 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2016-04-23T01:30:27-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/04/23/for-isabel.html", "tags": ["Grief","Comfort","God","Friends"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/04/21/gone-too-soon.html", "title": "Gone Too Soon", "content_html": "\n
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They're all gone to soon, aren't they? There are women here whose dear husband died of cancer or an accident. Or on the floor of a travel trailer while choosing one for retirement. But, I often hear from readers whose loss was not a parent or a sibling. Or a spouse. It was a child. Some, multiple children. There are mothers here whose child was an adult and killed in the line of duty or in a car accident. There are mothers here whose child died by their own hand...by choice. There are mothers of drug overdose victims. Any manner of reasons.

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Then there are the mamas who lose their babies. That is unthinkable. Something that was supposed to be uneventful...easy peasy. Just grow a baby, deliver it, and you're done. Sometimes it doesn't workout that way. Sometimes God takes that baby back home. A sort of \"Borrowed Angel\" as Kristen Chenowith sings about. What do you say to that mama and daddy? To the Nana and Papa? The Gram and Gramps? The aunts and uncles and cousins. The devastation must be unimaginable.

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I don't know what to say. I can tell them I love them. That my heart is broken alongside theirs. I can offer a hug, or a cup of tea. I can pray...a lot. In researching this, I discovered something I didn't know. When a woman is pregnant, there are a few of the baby's cells which cross the placenta. They enter the blood stream and they make their way to their mama's brains. And there, they lodge themselves and actually become part of the mama's brain. It's called \"microchimerism\". The mama will carry her baby in her brain cells the rest of her life. That is a comforting thought to me for some reason.

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The other thing I found while researching this, was this beautiful song by Daughtry. If you are hurting, I hope this brings you peace.

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❤️

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“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

\nPsalm 34:18 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2016-04-21T01:30:01-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/04/21/gone-too-soon.html", "tags": ["Grief","Strong Women","Comfort"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/04/16/a-grandmothers-hands.html", "title": "A Grandmother's Hands", "content_html": "\n
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Grandma's hands were a particular fixation of mine. I would hold her wise and wonderful hands in mine and I can remember watching them become more and more similar as I myself aged. Hers were remarkably soft considering all the hard work she did with them. From digging potatoes to scrubbing on a washboard, I never recall her using creams and lotions save for the occasional swipe of Bag Balm before quilting.

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I remember the quick dip of her index finger into whatever she was mixing up, gauging by taste alone whether the cake would rise or fall. I remember the beat up lid of an oval roaster she turned over in her lap to hold the beans she snapped or the potatoes she peeled for our supper. I remember her dipping her hand in a bag of lime or Sevin to dust her garden as I worried for her safety. She held babies and wiped away tears. She made jelly bread for me every time I walked in the door. She folded them in prayer every day and tied a shiny dime in the corner of our hanky every Sunday for the offering plate. She held the hand of her greatest love and life partner as they watched the news together every evening. She worked the pages of her Bible as she sat vigil beside his coffin in the living room of the old farmhouse after he passed, wiping her own tears when she thought no one was looking.

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I remember the last fold over apple pie she baked for me, expertly rolling out her pie dough she always claimed wasn't fit to eat but I would die for to this day. But I think my fondest memory of Grandma's hands were the summer I was five. She carefully took the stitches out of some feed sacks and made us matching aprons. I was SO proud as I stood on the red enamel kitchen stool and she tied mine in the back. I couldn't see her hands, but I felt them as they brushed my back making quick work of the task. She turned me to face her, cupped my face in those wise and wonderful hands, and kissed me on both cheeks and my world was complete. The person I loved most in this world loved me like I was the only one.

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I miss those hands. Someday they'll brush my face again. Someday.

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❤️

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““But watch out! Be careful never to forget what you yourself have seen. Do not let these memories escape from your mind as long as you live! And be sure to pass them on to your children and grandchildren.”

\nDeuteronomy 4:9 NLT\n
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Photo Credit: Unknown...it's a gem from Facebook I borrowed, but if you know who took it, please tell me so I can give credit where credit is due.

\n\n", "date_published": "2016-04-16T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/04/16/a-grandmothers-hands.html", "tags": ["Comfort","Love","Aging","Memories"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/04/09/a-different-kind-of-grief.html", "title": "A Different Kind of Grief", "content_html": "\n
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I lost Mr. Virgo in a matter of hours. The shock that kind of death brings is stunning. You cannot breathe. I have often thought to myself how, if he had to die, at least he went quickly and relatively pain free. But what about these people who are given a death sentence way out in front? I cannot imagine what they go through.

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Well meaning people say things to the spouse like, \"Well, at least you have time to say goodbye.\" Or, \"At least you know it's coming.\" Seriously? How can knowing be any comfort? How can any amount of time prepare you for such a loss...especially when you pretty much know what lies ahead and it ain't gonna be pretty? That is horrifying to me. I am blessed to be in the presence of two wonderful people who are walking that path right now with more courage and grace than I can imagine.

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I am in the beautiful state of Tennessee. The redbud and dogwood are competing with the bright green of the undergrowth for top billing. There is a party of color in the mountains and valleys of Tennessee and Kentucky that is a feast for the eyes and a balm for the winter-weary spirit. My cousin and his wife moved here last year to live closer to their kids. They're going to need them. He was diagnosed with mesothelioma over a year ago. They've been married for fifty-some years. They are the best of friends and the truest of sweethearts. I see them together and see what Mr. Virgo and I would have been like, given the same circumstances.

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My cousin's wife is incredibly brave. She knows full well what's coming and she is facing it with grace. You can feel the low undercurrent of fear. You can see it flicker in her eyes when we dance close to discussing the future. But this is a strong West Virginia woman. She is organized. She is getting fit...physically, mentally, and spiritually. She is a Warrior Princess, preparing for the battle of her life.

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My cousin has an amazing attitude. He's not going to go sit in his chair and wait for the grim reaper. He's out and active. He hunts, fishes, rides his side-by-side in the woods. He's busy preparing the house to be maintenance free so his wife will be able to handle it when he's gone. He built a canning kitchen in one of the garages by the house so he can practice one of his most joyful hobbies. He is happy, upbeat, and present. He exemplifies mindfulness. He enjoys every moment, savoring it like sipping a hundred year old single malt scotch. It burns going down, but fills him with a warmth from within.

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It is an honor to be here. It is a privilege to witness this kind of love. It is touching to see them in their love dance, gliding across the floor of life...heads held high, hands firmly clasped, focusing only on each other. Here. Now. It's a tragically beautiful thing. I love them immensely and I'm so very proud of them.

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Their hands hold each other. God's hands will catch their tears.

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❤️

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““Show me, Lord, my life’s end and the number of my days; let me know how fleeting my life is. You have made my days a mere handbreadth; the span of my years is as nothing before you. Everyone is but a breath, even those who seem secure.”

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***?Monday, Monday...check back that day...?***

\n\n", "date_published": "2016-04-09T01:30:30-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/04/09/a-different-kind-of-grief.html", "tags": ["Family","Grief","Comfort","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/02/26/you-cant-make-old-friends.html", "title": "You Can't Make Old Friends", "content_html": "\n
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I have the luxury, at least for the time being, of sitting down with my coffee every morning and reading your responses to my posts. There have become a number of familiar names who respond regularly. I haven't met the vast majority of you. I don't know all of your stories though I am honored when you share your hearts with me, as I share mine with you.

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I feel a sort of kinship to you, although my crotchety old aunt refers to you as my \"pretend friends\". We are made sisters by the shared experiences of grief, of divorce, of motherhood. We are the family of woman, sharing bits and pieces of our lives as we walk each other home.

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As I contemplated this yesterday, coffee in hand, my cell phone alerted me. I had a message from my friend, \"Hattie\". She told me she's been thinking about me a lot lately she considers me her very \"specialist\" old friend. It was attached to a link to Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers' song \"You Can't Make Old Friends\".

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I told her to hang on, I'd go watch. She watched it again as I did. My heart swelled and tears spilled down my cheeks. You see, \"Hattie\" isn't JUST my friend. She is my nonbiological sister. She is my soul partner.

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I met \"Hattie\" in Sophomore Choir. She sat in front of me that first day and had a dress on made from the same fabric as mine. A white background with mod hot pink daisies with neon yellow centers. I tapped her on the shoulder and she turned to look at me. I pointed to my dress, she looked down at hers. And we laughed and laughed. \"Hattie\" was everything I wanted to be. Petite, long blonde hair, tan, fit, and a voice that belted out any tune she tried. She could play the piano which made me green with envy. But, what drew me to her the most was that personality. \"Hattie\" brought sunshine with her to every room. She walked with a determined stride. This girl had purpose and I instantly loved her.

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As graduation often does, we moved in different directions in life...she eventually to the South, me way out West. \"Hattie\" was my mother's \"other daughter\" and they remained close, even vacationing together. We always stayed close but there were stretches of time we didn't actually talk. But, we always knew the other was there...with truth, love, and laughter.

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As I watched this video, knowing my oldest, dearest, most special-est friend had sent it to me and was watching it with me, my heart reached across the miles and held hers...with a fierce love only old friends can elicit. I pray you have one such old friend in your life. I cannot bear the thought of standing here without her. Instead, I will love on her every chance I get. I will tell her over and over how important she has been in my life. How important she IS in my life because...you truly can't make old friends.

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❤

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“My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”

\nJohn 15:12-13 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2016-02-26T02:30:18-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/02/26/you-cant-make-old-friends.html", "tags": ["Family","Gratitude","Comfort","Love","Be Joyful!","Friends"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/02/18/cabin-fever.html", "title": "Cabin Fever", "content_html": "\n
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Yeah, it starts setting in about now, doesn't it? I have a bookmark on my phone for a \"Countdown to Spring\" timer (It's 30 days, by the way!). I want to look at it ten times a day...you know, just in case I discover I have been in some sort of time warp and it's actually next week instead of next month. Sigh.

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I did go through my pictures yesterday and paid close attention to this time last year. There were plenty of pictures of snow (Remember \"Fifty Shades of White?\") and lots of screenshots of my weather app with negative and single digit temps. And, who can forget my weekend of bubble baths and breakfast in bed at the Historic Blennerhassett Hotel after the -25 wind chills froze up my refrigerator and I lost all my food? Yikes!

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It doesn't seem like this winter is as bad. I don't believe we have had as much snow here, nor have we had the same prolonged period of sub-freezing temps. Of course, part of that could be because I'm living indoors this year. The luxury of hot running water and a flush toilet are not lost on me and it has made it much easier to bear these dreary months. I DO love my bubble baths!

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I'm sure the biggest influence in getting through winter with less difficulty is my continued healing and growth since losing Mr. Virgo. I'm not as lost. I'm not as devastatingly sad. I'm much more awake and alive and aware. This leaves me with an uneasy feeling, like...I'm coming out of a coma or amnesia. It leaves me wondering \"What did I DO while I was 'gone'? What kind of mistakes did I make? And if they're big, can I fix them?\"

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I've already had to come to terms with some of the bigger mistakes. I spent WAY too much money the first year. In my interview with the New York Times (which I have been told will be available online tomorrow and in print Saturday!!!) I tell Kelly that I have regrets making some major purchases in that first year to year and a half. The problem is, when you get to the shallower half of the money pool, you look back and can remember specific purchases and wonder what on EARTH you were thinking. You think of what you could be doing with that money NOW. But, there is no use in crying over spilled milk. It's done...I learned...move on. The biggest lesson I got from that was to be sure to tell you to think about getting any life insurance payout in monthly payments instead of one lump sum to keep you from having a false sense of abundance. Retail therapy is not as good in the long run as say...grief counseling.

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I'm taking a break from the book for a few days. I was actually writing in my dreams! Instead, I am working on my brand and networking. I created the spiffy new header you see up at the top of the page here and added a tag line. \"Navigating Grief...One Campfire at a Time\". I like it. It speaks of discovery and the journey and the hope I have found from it. It speaks of truth.

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❤️

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“The wise store up choice food and olive oil, but fools gulp theirs down.”

\nProverbs 21:20 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2016-02-18T02:30:50-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/02/18/cabin-fever.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Comfort","Peaceful Moments"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/02/11/cabin-fever.html", "title": "Cabin Fever", "content_html": "\n
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Life was never, ever boring when Mr. Virgo was around. He had the most amazing stories and we always had something to talk about. He'd start off a story and ask if he'd told me that one or not. I always answered, \"I don't know, babe. But tell it to me again!\" I could listen to his stories over and over and over.

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As I was gazing out at the falling snow the last couple of days, I was feeling cooped up. Cabin fever is setting in...big time! I did go out last night to visit a friend. We cooked my famous spaghetti sauce and then watched American Idol. I got home around midnight after creeping along the icy roads. School is closed again today. It gives me time to think about Mr. Virgo's stories.

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He worked at Disney for a few years. He worked in Five Star Hotels all around the world. He served dignitaries and celebrities. He served in Vietnam. His stories were funny and poignant and sometimes terrifying. I'm so grateful he shared all his stories with me. They comfort me when I have cabin fever. And they bring him closer to my heart. I look to God for comfort in the lonely times.

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❤️

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“I remember the days of long ago; I meditate on all your works and consider what your hands have done. I spread out my hands to you; I thirst for you like a parched land.”

\nPsalm 143:5-6 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2016-02-11T02:30:51-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/02/11/cabin-fever.html", "tags": ["Gratitude","Comfort","Memories"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/01/17/comfort.html", "title": "Comfort", "content_html": "\n
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One of the greatest gifts we can offer another human being is comfort. We all need comfort to varying degrees. Yesterday, I met with a beautiful group of women and the act of gathering over coffee and delicacies alone offered each of us comfort. Then, gathering in a circle, they listened to me weave a tale of love and loss and hope. They opened up and spoke of their own losses. We laughed. We cried. And when we left the circle, we each were stronger in some way. We each \"lit a torch\" from the communal flame and we will take it out into the community to light more. We visited for 4 hours.
My hostess and I went to visit a lovely woman with an old soul. She has had a recurrence of breast cancer recently and we did a private visit for her in her home. She is a kindred spirit as a gifted Gemini. That was lovely, tender, silly and fun.

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Cincinnati 5 Way for dinner. It was a beautiful day!!!

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❤

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“Looking at his disciples, he said: “Blessed are you who are poor, for yours is the kingdom of God. Blessed are you who hunger now, for you will be satisfied. Blessed are you who weep now, for you will laugh.”

\nLuke 6:20-21 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2016-01-17T02:30:46-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/01/17/comfort.html", "tags": ["Grief","Hope","Comfort"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/01/12/ommmmmmm.html", "title": "Ommmmmmm........", "content_html": "\n
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Oh, I was the lucky girl yesterday. After an incredibly busy eleven day stretch of travel, meetings, talks, and interviews, I used my Christmas gift certificate and had a massage. It was heavenly! My massage therapist was delightful and we had a very meaningful, spiritual conversation. I don't normally like to talk during a massage, but it seemed we met for reasons other than the massage itself. Sometimes people are just placed in your path to exchange something...knowledge, information, energy, ministry. We shouldn't pass those opportunities up.

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One of the most difficult things about widowhood, after the pain of your loss and missing your loved one, is the lack of human touch. I noticed this after my divorce sixteen years ago. I actually discussed it with my doctor and got a prescription for massage from him for \"therapeutic touch\". The \"feel good\" hormones are released during massage and this improves our state of well being.

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I really miss human touch. A twenty-second hug releases hormones that can have the same effect as a single dose of an antidepressant. Most people get uncomfortable with a hug that lasts longer than a couple of seconds unless they are in an intimate relationship. There are actually businesses that offer non-sexual, fully clothed (pajamas or yoga pants encouraged), therapeutic snuggles and cuddles for $60-75 per hour. I'm not sure how that would work for me snuggling a complete stranger, but man...I sure miss that closeness.

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Most reputable spas and salons offer legitimate massage services. Companies like Massage Envy can be found all over. Sometimes you can snag a Groupon deal for very inexpensive services. Occasionally a spa will offer an introductory rate for your first visit. If you've never had a massage, let me be the first to say how awesome I find them. I know there are people who really do not like massage, but if you find you're craving human contact and you aren't interested in having an intimate relationship with someone, therapeutic massage can be a godsend.

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❤️

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“Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of a friend springs from their heartfelt advice.”

\nProverbs 27:9 NIV\n
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Photo Credit: greatdaymassage.com

\n\n", "date_published": "2016-01-12T02:30:30-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/01/12/ommmmmmm.html", "tags": ["Health","Gratitude","Comfort","Peaceful Moments"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/12/19/a-gift-from-beyond.html", "title": "A Gift from Beyond", "content_html": "\n
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Mr. Virgo loved Christmas. He listened all year and actually made notes about things he saw that I liked or was interested in. He bought and carefully hid gifts for weeks before Christmas. He wanted every Christmas to be special.

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As you know, I've downsized tremendously and I don't need anything, really. I'd rather have experiences than things at this point. But still, wandering around the mall yesterday, listening to the carols, watching the hustle and bustle of the shoppers...made me nostalgic for my man. I wandered around for a couple of hours feeling material, smelling perfumes, looking at sparkly things. As I turned to make my way back through the mall to head home, I passed Chico's. I love that store.

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There's only one thing I would love to have if I found it. And that is a beautiful robin's egg blue coat I saw on Pinterest a few weeks ago. I had one similar 40 years ago and loved it. I Googled the brand and they don't make that coat anymore. I checked e-bay. Nothing. As I wandered through Chico's, I went to the sale rack and there was a coat-like sweater with a matching mock turtleneck shell. The same color and the same cut as the coat I was looking for. And...it was 50% off the lowest markdown price. I love a deal!

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Every year, I buy myself a Christmas present from Mr. Virgo. This year he's giving me a beautiful blue sweater set. As soon as I walked out of the store with my gold and white bag with the tissue-wrapped prize inside, I felt like it was really the holidays. Our beauty does not come from outward accoutrements....it comes from within. But it's ok to appreciate a beautiful gift. It's ok to adapt your traditions to fit your new circumstances.

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❤️

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“Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.”

\n1 Peter 3:3-4 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2015-12-19T02:30:49-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/12/19/a-gift-from-beyond.html", "tags": ["Comfort","Holiday","Memories"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/12/13/coffee-houses.html", "title": "Coffee Houses", "content_html": "\n
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One of my favorite things to do when I travel is hunt down independent coffee houses. Havens of peace and caffeine, these little out of the way mom and pop shops build our communities by offering a quiet place to converse or reflect.

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After several busy weeks since arriving in West Virginia, I am enjoying a little down time. My daughter was hanging out with her fellow classmates yesterday, so I spent the day exploring the Historic Depot District of Richmond, Indiana. Sweet little antique shops, a great used book shop (2 Sisters Bookstore), Roscoe's Coffee Bar & Tap House, and a late lunch in Little Sheba's Restaurant provided a lovely junket on an unseasonably warm December day.

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Taking time for yourself and simple pleasures is incredibly important for your self care. And it doesn't have to break the bank. For under $15 I had one of the best Italian subs I've ever had and bought the small volume...The Prayer of Jabez. And, I had the pleasure of meeting some really nice people. Priceless!

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❤️

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“These are the things you are to do: Speak the truth to each other, and render true and sound judgment in your courts; do not plot evil against each other, and do not love to swear falsely. I hate all this,” declares the Lord.”

\nZechariah 8:16-17 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2015-12-13T02:30:17-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/12/13/coffee-houses.html", "tags": ["Travel","Fun","Comfort"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/11/28/black-friday.html", "title": "Black Friday", "content_html": "\n
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I traveled yesterday so I was in my truck much of the day...however, I wasn't shopping and I stopped often to step out in the fresh air and sunshine near the Eastern Continental Divide, so I qualified for #OptOutside. One of my favorite views in WV is the overlook on 33 just a mile or two west from the top of North Mountain. I love to stop and snap a couple of pictures because it always looks so different each time I travel through there.

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I started making some Christmas ornaments Thursday out of old silver spoons. It felt so good to tap into my creative side again. It reminded me I need to incorporate that into my daily routine. Back in the '60s, Helen and Scott Nearing wrote a lovely little book called Living the Good Life. This was at a time in my life that I was definitely an Earth Mother Hippy Chick. We had two acres with a five bedroom log house. We burned wood in a stove in the basement. We had the logs delivered...cutting and splitting them ourselves. I was a stay at home mom and doctor's wife. I had a 4,000 square foot garden and canned just about everything. I made our bread, yoghurt, and tofu from scratch. We boarded horses for a friend and rode as often as possible. I quilted, sewed, knitted, crocheted, and cross stitched. I owned every back issue of Mother Earth News Magazine. Those were golden years...a ton of work but so fulfilling. The Nearings spoke of the importance of dividing your day. The morning was filled with subsistence living...chores around the house/farm. The afternoons were devoted to self interests and cultural pursuits like practicing an instrument, painting, or writing. I have always loved the concept, however...I find it challenging as a Gemini.

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I have a tendency to get REALLY...ummmmmm, obsessed with a project and I work it to death till I'm totally burned out (or, more likely, bored) and lose interest. Then I'm off doing the next thing that strikes my fancy. For much of my life, I've looked at this as some sort of character flaw. This amazing meditation series that I just completed has given me a different perspective. Instead of believing I am flighty, indecisive, undirected, and easily distracted...I'm choosing to say I'm creative, dedicated, artistic, and curious. Perhaps I can incorporate a bit more structure in my days to help me accomplish more. Or, perhaps I can just embrace who I am and enjoy myself...quirks and all. Yes! I think I'll choose Door #2!

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There's something to be said for loving yourself exactly as you are. It took decades to get to this point. And, it could not be rushed. The feeling total self acceptance gives you is indescribably delicious. I love my 60's!

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❤️

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“Do you see someone skilled in their work? They will serve before kings; they will not serve before officials of low rank.”

\nProverbs 22:29 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2015-11-28T02:30:14-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/11/28/black-friday.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Comfort"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/10/30/encouragement.html", "title": "Encouragement", "content_html": "\n
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We all need to be encouraged on this road of life. Some have a smooth course. Others fraught with potholes and peril. Some coast merrily along while others struggle up the toughest, steepest roads making the slightest progress. I pray, every single day, over my keyboard. I pray that God will bring me the words He needs me to say and the people who need to hear them. God knows all things. He knows when this writer needs encouragement, as well. He sent Sue to tell me she sends my posts to her ailing husband. He sent me her ailing husband so that I might have the opportunity to minister to him. The enormity of this responsibility is not lost on me and I pray I am worthy of the task. I cannot write God's words. But I can share what the Holy Spirit moves me to say. So, here goes...

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Brave Warrior...

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He sees your struggles. He knows your pain. Speak to Him in the stillness of the sleepless night. Cry out for Him when you lose your way in your struggles. Ours is a mighty foe but one which cannot ever take you away from Him. He is the Truth, and the Light. He is the Way. He will comfort you and carry you all the days of your life and when those days are spent, He will cleave you unto Him as a mother coddles her nursling. You need only ask and He will bear your burdens. He will hold you, and those who love you, and guide you through what only He knows is yet to come. Do not be afraid. Rest in Him, Brave Warrior, for He sees in you the spark of life. He will breathe His breath upon it. Only He can set you free.

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Amen

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❤️

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“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

\nIsaiah 41:10\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2015-10-30T01:30:56-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/10/30/encouragement.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Comfort","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/10/28/breathe.html", "title": "Breathe", "content_html": "\n

I seem to write a great deal about breathing. Breath is life. It is powerful, cleansing, vital. We catch our breath at the sight of something beautiful. It can be so beautiful in fact that it's breathtaking. We breathe a sigh of relief. We breathe deep the smell of rain on a breeze. Our breath quickens with passion, becomes shallow with fear. We fill our lungs and cry out with the sudden searing pain of the first breath in the moments after birth. We wait with baited breath in moments of great anticipation. We slip away with a sigh as our last breath leaves us.

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Breathe. Gurus tell us to control our breathing. Yogis tell us to focus on our breath. Midwives tell us to pant to ease childbirth. Emergency responders tell us calmly, \"Just breathe.\" Conscious breathing can ease anxiety and relax us for sleep. I often remind you to breathe. The world is a hectic place. Life is sometimes a difficult place to be. Grief can make you have an actual sensation in your chest. A heaviness. An ache. It can give you the feeling that you can't take in a deep breath. Sometimes the waves of grief come over you so hard you feel like you're drowning. The waves crash and knock you to the ground. It's ok. Sometimes you find precious gems while you're down there. Just breathe. Then stand up again.

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❤️

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“By the word of the Lord the heavens were made, their starry host by the breath of his mouth.”

\nPsalm 33:6\n
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\n", "date_published": "2015-10-28T01:30:49-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/10/28/breathe.html", "tags": ["Grief","Positive Energy","Comfort","Peace"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/10/19/aint-it-good.html", "title": "Ain't It Good...", "content_html": "\n
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To be back home again? Good gracious...it was 27 degrees yesterday when I went out to hook up TOW-Wanda! Wowza! It was a beautiful sunny day for a drive. The colors aren't as fabulous as I had hoped because there have been a few frosts this week but it was still quite lovely.

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I originally posted there was a death at Saturday's Bridge Day when a B.A.S.E. jumper's chute failed to open. Thank God that was in error. I made the mistake that is actually one of my own pet peeves and reported on something I saw posted without checking the date. It happened in 2006. Still, it is a thrilling sport with inherent dangers.

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It will take some adjusting to the more seasonal temperatures here. We got absolutely spoiled at the beach the last ten days. I looked at my travel buddy when we pulled in and said, \"We can turn around and go back right now, you know!\" Ah, well....it will give me something to look forward to in the future. Right now I need to focus on writing and that will get done far more easily if I'm snowed in than it will at the beach...trust me!

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❤️

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“The sun rises and the sun sets, and hurries back to where it rises. The wind blows to the south and turns to the north; round and round it goes, ever returning on its course. All streams flow into the sea, yet the sea is never full. To the place the streams come from, there they return again. All things are wearisome, more than one can say. The eye never has enough of seeing, nor the ear its fill of hearing. What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun.”

\nEcclesiastes 1:5-9\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2015-10-19T01:30:31-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/10/19/aint-it-good.html", "tags": ["Gratitude","Comfort","Memories"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/09/16/seeking-approval.html", "title": "Seeking Approval", "content_html": "\n
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I spent countless years and a number of relationships trying to find my dad's love and approval. When I couldn't get it from him, I tried to get it from other men. I'll never forget my therapist pointing out it was futile to have a different history with my dad than the one I actually had. I have been told by others how my dad spoke so glowingly of me. I saw how the congregation packed into the church for his funeral and sang his praises of being such a good man. I wish I could have known that guy because that's not the guy I grew up with. It wasn't for my lack of trying. He just couldn't be who I wanted (and needed) him to be. Neither could my first two husbands. Then Mr. Virgo came along. He gave me everything I needed and then some. It took awhile, but finally my fear of abandonment and my need for approval subsided.

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I think age and circumstance has diminished my NEED to be liked. Ummmmm...ok, I don't worry about it nearly as often as I used to. Alright...I'm working on it! Ok? lol I try to focus on pleasing God and seeking HIS approval. That's all that really matters to me in the long run.
Isn't it funny how some people get this...and there are others to whom the entire concept is totally foreign to them? That's what I love about \"The Ranch\". No matter what, there's SOMEONE out there that's going through the same thing and there's comfort knowing A) You're not alone! and B) You're not crazy! It's a great big ol' world out there and we have far more similarities than differences. And I am ever grateful you are here.

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❤️

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\"Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.\"

\nGalatians 1:10\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2015-09-16T01:30:45-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/09/16/seeking-approval.html", "tags": ["Family","Comfort","Forgiveness","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/09/14/control.html", "title": "Control", "content_html": "\n
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\"Houston, we've had a problem here.\" When Jack Swigert radioed this message to Ground Control, he and his fellow astronauts must have felt completely out of control. Fortunately for them, there was a whole team of engineers back home who worked feverishly to jury rig a solution before the space capsule ran out of oxygen.

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Control is just an illusion for the most part. I mean, we can control our behaviors, our choices, maybe parts of our environment. There ARE areas of life where we can exert some control. But most of the time we are at the mercy of circumstance. So, what is this issue of control so many of us have? Just Friday I had nuclear meltdown over going out on the boat and not \"having control of my environment\". And yesterday? Well, I spent six hours out on that same boat with those same people and I was perfectly fine. What was the difference? I was the same person yesterday as I was Friday. The difference was relaxation, positive self-talk, and understanding friends who supported me by reassuring me if there were any need whatsoever, they could easily pull to shore. It's not like we were going to be out in the middle of the ocean, after all. I had a glorious day watching the sternwheel races then dancing for two hours, on said boat, as we sat alongside the barge housing the stage for a great band. Afterwards, we went upriver to see the locks so they could show me how they work.

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Control. We honestly have very little. We delude ourselves into thinking we do. Especially those of us who grew up in volatile homes. My father was an alcoholic and unpredictable. I had relationships filled with argument. Then the ultimate...even though I was medically trained for just such an emergency, I could not save my husband's life when he had a massive heart attack right in front of me. In my experience, bad things happen to Ginny when she doesn't have control. As humans, we are programmed to avoid pain. Therefore, feeling out of control creates fear and anxiety in me. The fact that I totally KNOW it's in my head and 99% of the time I am not in real danger drives me buggy and makes me feel like a failure.

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I know...I've built a clock to tell you what time it is. The bottom line is this. I am not perfect. Tension is created when I think I SHOULD be. Relaxation comes when I rest inside my imperfect self, remember the Fourth Agreement, and say...\"You did your best today.\" Can I hear an \"Amen\"?

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❤️

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\"We all stumble in many ways. Anyone who is never at fault in what they say is perfect, able to keep their whole body in check.\"

\nJames 3:2\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2015-09-14T01:30:04-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/09/14/control.html", "tags": ["Fun","Growth","Comfort","Forgiveness","Courage","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/09/09/peace.html", "title": "Peace", "content_html": "\n
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I had an interesting thing happen. When I was in Deadwood, I got to see and visit with a Sister/friend from Mississippi. Sue is an author who pens romantic mysteries and books about the supernatural. I first met her in Estes Park two years ago at a Sisters on the Fly event. She took us on a ghost tour/investigation of the Historic Stanley Hotel which was really cool. Sue is a hoot and a half and I was thrilled when she took a couple days away from her writing (even though she is pushing a deadline) to join us.

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I was telling Sue about having my cards read in May and that the gal finally put them down and said there was a gray haired man there with me. She told me he is always with me, over my left shoulder. She leaned her head on her fist and said, \"He looks at you like this. He adores you!\" And that made me teary eyed because that's what he always told me. Sue got really excited and said she wanted to contact a woman she knows on my behalf who sometimes receives messages from those who have passed.

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Yesterday she sent me a note from the gal. She said she saw a picture of Sue and me on FB and a gray haired man came forward with a message for me. She wrote my name as Jennie, not Ginny, even though Sue had not identified me. She said the man wanted me to know he's ok. Sue called her for more details of the vision she had seen. She said the gray haired man showed her a deck or patio and we were drinking something out of mugs. He told her his happiest times were with me outside. And we did sit out on the porch often, drinking our coffee. I loved those mornings.

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I know. It's an easy assumption for her to make. Most couples sit outside and drink coffee when they can. But Sue asked her if he had a beard or mustache. The lady said no, he was clean shaven. That's what the card reader said as well. Mr. Virgo didn't have his beard when he died. Who knows? Maybe it's hooey. But it's comforting to me to receive the same message, with the same description from two different people. It gives me peace.

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❤️

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\"For God does speak—now one way, now another— though no one perceives it.\"

\nJob 33:14\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2015-09-09T01:30:33-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/09/09/peace.html", "tags": ["Grief","Comfort","Peaceful Moments","Memories"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/09/06/laying-low.html", "title": "Laying Low", "content_html": "\n
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Well, sort of. Dinner with friends and live music Friday night then a gabfest with a friend till the wee hours. Coffee with the girls yesterday morning and dinner out with a friend last night. With several naps in between. I feel like this guy....I need to stretch out and snooze! No chance for a few days at least. I have family to visit, work to have done on my camper, and all manner of errands getting settled back in.

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While I am certainly tired from traveling...I'm not tired OF traveling. There's still so much to see! I want to catch the leaves changing this fall. Then there's a trip to the beach the first week of October. I feel more alive and awake and present than I ever have. I made it a point on the Black Hills trip to put my phone away...at least most of the time. I checked briefly at breakfast and at dinner. It's amazing how addictive it is. We didn't know what time it was or how to dress for the weather.

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For Pete's sake...what on earth did we do before the Internet? How did we ever survive? How did we parent? How would I have seen the blue and green streaks my oldest grandchild got in her hair this morning? It was so peaceful to stay present and connected to the life going on around me. Now, I need to continue that.

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❤️

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\"When you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet.\"

\nProverbs 3:24\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2015-09-06T01:30:54-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/09/06/laying-low.html", "tags": ["Comfort","Aging","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/07/30/remembering.html", "title": "Remembering", "content_html": "\n
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This is my friend, Tony. He lost his battle with MS a few months ago. We'll be remembering him with a memorial service this Saturday. Tony was a charmer. A dentist by profession, but a skier, runner, biker, friend, and father extraordinaire. He volunteered for the ski patrol till he couldn't do it anymore. I first met Tony when we moved into the house across the street from he and his family. My late mother-in-law was visiting from out of town and had a sudden dental emergency. Tony dropped what he was doing and met us in the office in the middle of the night so she could have pain relief.

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Segue forward about ten years and we were both single. Tony helped me by just being my friend. He helped me do the landscaping at my house that I had built. I went to his house right after the first plane hit the towers on 9/11 and we sat and cried together as we watched them fall one by one. When his health deteriorated, he moved to the Front Range to be closer to family. We lost touch, as people are prone to do. Sometimes people just come into your life like that…for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. He was a sweetheart and the world is a little less bright without him.

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I thought of him last night as I sat in the park listening to live music. It occurred to me we sat together in this exact spot 15 years ago enjoying a hot summer night of cool jazz. And I smiled with the memory. Isn't that the best thing we can hope for? That someday, after the pain of loss has subsided, someone somewhere will think of us and smile?

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God rest your sweet soul, Tony. Till we meet again….

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❤️

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\"But the noble make noble plans, and by noble deeds they stand.\"

\nIsaiah 32:8\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2015-07-30T01:30:51-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/07/30/remembering.html", "tags": ["Grief","Gratitude","Comfort"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/07/24/big-news.html", "title": "Big News!", "content_html": "\n
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Ok, remember when I was lamenting the demise of my favorite shoes? I have worn these Chaco sandals for 20 years and the sole was almost worn off and the foot bed was starting to crack as a result. Many of you informed me of the Chaco Lifetime Warranty but that will only cover manufacturer's defects, not 20 years of good, honest wear and tear. While I was on their website, I discovered their Re-Chaco program. The price of repairs depend on what you need done. To have my trusty old shoes resoled cost me $47, including shipping! I got them yesterday and I was SO excited. The downside is I had already bought a new pair and while they are perfectly fine, they just didn't fit quite right. My daughter's sandals kicked the bucket yesterday so guess who has a brand new pair of Chaco's? She suffers from plantar fasciitis like me so I'm hoping they work for her as much as this brand has worked for me.

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It's amazing how something as comfortable, and comforting, as your favorite pair of shoes makes your feet happy. And when your feet are happy, YOU are happy. They are our \"ground wire\", connecting you to the earth. They channel energy and have hundreds of pressure points that affect your entire body. Your feet should spend a portion of time naked, communing with the earth. And when they can't, they need comfortable shoes. I can't tell you how thrilled I am to have these babies back cradling my grateful tootsies! Thanks to everyone who directed me to the Chaco website. I wonder how long I can make these puppies last?

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❤

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\"Your clothes did not wear out and your feet did not swell during these forty years.\"

\nDeuteronomy 8:4\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2015-07-24T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/07/24/big-news.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Gratitude","Comfort"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/07/13/lemon-cake.html", "title": "Lemon Cake!", "content_html": "\n
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Way, WAY back in the day, I used to bake competitively. There were three of us gals…Ryb, Judy, and me…that would enter three pies into Saturday's competition, and three cakes on Sunday's at the Carbondale Mountain Fair. Almost without fail, the Three Amigas would take home all of the ribbons! SO unfair…but SO fun! Invariably, the field would be heavily laden with \"Death By Chocolate\" and any manor of liqueur-laced lovelies so I would try to come up with something different that would catch the judges by surprise. This yummy taste of sunshine won me one of those coveted ribbons and has become the all-time family favorite for birthdays.

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There's been a running joke since my son in-law joined the family twenty years ago that if anything happened to their marriage, I was keeping him and my daughter would have to go! Of course, everyone knew it was tongue in cheek, but I have to tell you, my daughter won the lottery in both the husband AND the in-law department. Their birthdays are the 11th and the 13th, and their anniversary is the 15th. And, since my wonderful son-in-law is partial to chocolate…I made chocolate cakes every year. But this year is different. This year is special. We've reached a new depth in our mother/daughter friendship. She works SO hard as a special ed teacher, as a mom to two very busy girls on swim team, as a student going to grad school, and as a loving wife. So, this year she gets the much coveted lemon cake for her birthday.

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In the past, I would have worked on this cake for two weeks. I would have carefully cut lemon peel into thin strips, boiling it in a simple syrup and refrigerate. I would have made the cake from scratch. I would have piped the whipped cream frosting on with a flourish. Then I would have carefully tied the lemon peel into little knots, rolled them in sugar crystals and place them around the top. But hey, I said she's special but she's not the queen! So, I doctored up a moist lemon cake mix (gasp!) by using sour cream instead of oil. I added the zest of one lemon. Once baked and cooled, I used lemon curd from a jar for the filling between layers instead of painstakingly making my own. I whipped heavy cream, adding a couple tablespoons of light corn syrup (stabilizes whipped cream so it lasts for hours! There…one of my secrets!) and added three tablespoons of the powdered lemon drops. (I put some lemon drops through the blender till they turn to a sugary powder and sift out any chunks.) Frost with the whipped cream, dollop on some lemon curd, and sprinkle with a bit of the powdered lemon drops and, voila…Lemon Cake! Chill till serving time and wait for the ooooohs and aaaaahs!

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❤

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\"His sons used to hold feasts in their homes on their birthdays, and they would invite their three sisters to eat and drink with them.\"

\nJob 1:4\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2015-07-13T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/07/13/lemon-cake.html", "tags": ["Colorado","Family","Fun","Comfort","Be Joyful!","Baking"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/07/09/seriously.html", "title": "Seriously?", "content_html": "\n
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This is the weirdest weather year just about everywhere. I wish I had my electric blanket on my bed…and I'm not in the mountains. I'm sure glad it wasn't this cold last week when I was camping in the tent at 9,000 feet!

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I'm always reminded of the difference in perspective. In the spring…after a long, cold winter…when the temperature hits 58, we're out in shirtsleeves and shorts playing frisbee in the park. But you give us 58 in the middle of July and it feels like October! We're pulling out the sweatshirts and wool socks. I used to always complain about how cold I was and Mr. Virgo said it was all in my head and if I just imagined myself warm, I would be. Then he bought me a fur coat so go figure! lol

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I'm heading into a stretch where I'll have my grandkids a lot while my daughter does some work towards her Masters Degree. They just got back from their vacation so the kids were full of stories at dinner tonight. New York City was a bit intimidating for them, I think…but they'll have wonderful memories and pictures to share with their friends when they go back to school. I firmly believe the more experiences you can give kids, the easier they can get along with a variety of people with common experiences when they get older. I'm very proud of my daughter for taking the girls on a cross country road trip by herself. She's got moxie!

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❤

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\"You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day,\".

\nPsalm 91:5\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2015-07-09T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/07/09/seriously.html", "tags": ["Colorado","Family","Travel","Comfort","Memories"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/07/08/oy-mein-gott-in-himmel.html", "title": "Oy! Mein Gott in Himmel!", "content_html": "\n
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That's Yiddish/German for \"OMG!\" I went to Zaidy's yesterday…a Jewish deli. (Zaidy is Yiddish for Grandpa.) I lived 27 years of my life as a Jewish mother. When Hubby #2 joined a practice in a small town in the mountains in Colorado, we started organizing dinners, parties, and holidays for the Jews (and lapsed Jews and latent Jews) in our little community. I love the holidays and traditions and most of all…the food! My picture was often in the newspaper cooking some delicacy or other…or lighting the Menorah with my younger daughter to celebrate Chanukah. My favorite meal to prepare was the Passover Seder. Matzoh ball soup, gefilte fish, chopped liver, brisket, potato kugel. Oh…enough to make you swoon! We started out with about 10 guests the first year. I finally had to move the Seder to a bigger venue after serving a sit down dinner for 45 people in our basement. After that, it was held in the basement of the Presbyterian Church and the last one I organized and cooked for sat 75. That's one thing a Jewish mother does best….feed a ton of people! I got great satisfaction from it.

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I was down in Cherry Creek yesterday and decided to pop into Zaidy's for a late lunch. I ordered the lox and bagel with everything and a couple of pletzels (yes, that is spelled correctly)…an oniony flat bread. Oy! SO good! And such warm memories.

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❤

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\"Let me get you something to eat, so you can be refreshed and then go on your way—now that you have come to your servant.” “Very well,” they answered, “do as you say.\"

\nGenesis 18:5\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2015-07-08T01:30:01-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/07/08/oy-mein-gott-in-himmel.html", "tags": ["Colorado","Travel","Positive Energy","Gratitude","Comfort","Be Joyful!","Memories"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/07/05/goodbye-old-friends.html", "title": "Goodbye, old friends!", "content_html": "\n
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Twenty years ago, a group of us were going to go whitewater rafting on the Colorado River on Memorial Day. I had never rafted before and was told I needed good, waterproof, strap-on sandals to wear. I bought a pair of Chacos and absolutely loved them! They have terrific arch support and are actually the only sandals that keep me from getting plantar fasciitis flares. I have worn this pair for twenty years, every day that's warm enough to let my toes out. The soles are finally worn nearly through and after this last trip, I noticed the sole is cracking. I fixed it with Super Glue, but really…it's only a matter of time before they fall apart. I know it's crazy, but I have a tremendous emotional attachment to these shoes. They embody summer to me. And they are literally molded by my feet. But, they have to go…when something comes into the camper, something goes out!

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So, goodbye old friends! You have served me well, carrying me over many comfortable miles! Thank you…and thanks to Chaco for building a fine quality, long-lasting product. Definitely worth the price!

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❤

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\"How beautiful your sandaled feet, O prince’s daughter! Your graceful legs are like jewels, the work of an artist’s hands.\"

\nSong of Solomon 7:1\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2015-07-05T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/07/05/goodbye-old-friends.html", "tags": ["Camping","Comfort","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/06/30/namaste.html", "title": "Namaste", "content_html": "\n
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At the end of yoga practice, you put your hands together in a prayer pose, bow to the others in the room, and say \"Namaste\". It means, \"The divine in me honors the divine in you.\" You recognize the similarities between you, not the differences. There are no colors. There are no lines in the sand. There are no differences in dogma. Only the sameness of the divine spark that lives within each of us. For me, that divine spark is God. If someone else calls this spark of life by a different name, if they follow a different path, it is not my place to judge them. It is my place to love them.

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The same goes for differences in choices of who to love, who to marry, who to have children with if children are desired. The same goes for political orientation. I do not judge you. I love you. All of you. And, isn't that what Jesus preached? And Mohammed? And Gandhi? And Mother Theresa? Isn't that what we all want…to love and be loved? To be at peace with one another? The world is a dangerous place right now. There is so much turmoil, so much anger, so much hatred, so much confusion. Issues have come up that we had hoped were long ago put to rest. In the words of Rodney King…\"Can't we all just get along?\"

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I make it a point not to discuss politics and the extent of my online discussion of religion is done here on the Ranch in my profession of faith, and my inclusion of Scriptures that underscore my topic of the day. I bring my thoughts to you from a place of love. I don't have an agenda other than peace and love. And that is what I wish for you today…every day. Peace and love. Namaste. Amen.

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❤

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\"They dress the wound of my people as though it were not serious. ‘Peace, peace,’ they say, when there is no peace.\"

\nJeremiah 6:14\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2015-06-30T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/06/30/namaste.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Comfort","Grace","Peace","Courage","Choices","Kindness"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/06/14/new-shabby-chic.html", "title": "New Shabby Chic", "content_html": "\n
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I've finally chosen my fabric for curtains for my little house on wheels. I want a Shabby Chic look but without all the pastels and ruffles and little birds and cutsie stuff. I want soft yet sophisticated...sort of organic to reflect my writing style.

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I had an issue with one of the two small shirt closets. I hung shirts in one and hung a sweater organizer from the rod in the other to use as storage for my dainties. After a year, the organizer began to sag and every time I opened the door after driving, my dainties ended up on the floor. I needed shelves in there. Daughter #1 and I went to IKEA the other night and found these great wire baskets that connect and hang down as many as you need. My closet fit five of them and now my lingerie is neatly folded and placed inside.

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While at IKEA, I found this charcoal and white fabric with big cabbage roses on it. I bought enough to make curtains and may have enough to make some throw pillows. It's sophisticated and simple. I found the wallpaper online last week and I think it will offer the perfect contrast to the florals. I have two accent walls that are very dark. The grey and white trees should brighten things up in here and offer some texture.
I'm getting excited about fixing the house up now!

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❤

\n\n", "date_published": "2015-06-14T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/06/14/new-shabby-chic.html", "tags": ["TOW-Wanda!","Gratitude","Comfort"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/06/02/good-morning-from-indiana.html", "title": "Good Morning from Indiana!", "content_html": "\n
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I didn't sleep well Sunday night. Most people left the campground right after the music was over, but several stayed and some people took advantage of the empty field and drove ATVs around all night. So, needless to say, I slept sporadically.

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I was going to stay overnight last night with my friend in Troy, Ohio but she has been blessed with a ton of real estate business so I'll visit with her on my way back. I drove till 2:00 in the afternoon then pulled into a rest area for a 2 hour nap. I drove for another couple of hours before stopping for the night. As I have done in the past, I won't be revealing exactly where I am each day. This is to appease my safety conscious family and friends. But it's a very nice, clean, quiet, safe RV Resort just off the interstate. My adventure of the day was a yucky one. My black water tank was full and unfortunately was clogged so emptying it was a yucky chore. But I got it done. Thank God for the shower in this camper!

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I love to drive. I do some of my best thinking while I'm driving. One of my dearest friends asked me last night how it feels to be traveling alone again. I had so much company in the last few months that I was seldom really off by myself. And it's interesting. It's different this time. Not boring. Not really lonely. But I feel room in my life and in my heart. Not an emptiness like I felt before. Not an urgency to replace something I've lost to fill up that void either. No, this is different. I feel a space opening up in me. A place of peace…of ease…of calm. Like the soothing flow of a river after making it through rough water. I'm not sure what this is yet or what it means, but it feels good.

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❤

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\"I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.\"

\nEzekiel 36:26\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2015-06-02T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/06/02/good-morning-from-indiana.html", "tags": ["Travel","Positive Energy","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","The Grand Adventure","Comfort","Widow","Road Trip"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/05/24/capable.html", "title": "Capable", "content_html": "\n
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I'm counting down the days to lift off. My list is long. I have one, maybe two trips left out to the farm. Yet, I'm still finding time to play. I'm fitting in some kayaking this morning. Visiting with a friend in the afternoon. Cookout in the evening. SO much to do in the next few days and I'm feeling confident and capable.

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There was a time in my life when I wasn't capable of doing much of anything. If you had to come up with something good to say about my abilities back then, you might have said something like, \"Well, she breathed in and out all day without too much trouble.\" In the depth of my depression sixteen years ago, I wasn't capable of accomplishing much on a daily basis. Couple that with myriad medications and I was just going through the motions. I call those the Prozac years. I don't remember much of my forties.

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By the time I met Mr. Virgo, I had been off all meds for five years and was a totally different person. Yet still I didn't feel terribly self confident about my place in the world. I deferred a lot of my abilities to my husband. He was so adept at everything. I didn't have to worry my pretty little head about much of anything. Then he up and died on me and left me to figure this all out on my own.

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Something instinctively told me I had to travel solo to find myself. There was no one else to rely on. No one to hold me in the dark of night. Not in the physical plane, anyway. I always have God with me. And He gives me the strength to face the days…and nights…on my own. He gives me discernment. I have discovered that, with God…I truly CAN do anything. I am capable. I am strong. I am brave even when I sometimes don't feel I am.

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There is no way you can travel alone and not discover how capable you truly are. It is the deepest gift you can give yourself.

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❤

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\"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.\"

\nEphesians 6:10-11\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2015-05-24T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/05/24/capable.html", "tags": ["Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Forgiveness","Courage","Aging","Choices","Change","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/05/23/from-my-mothers-hands.html", "title": "From My Mother's Hands", "content_html": "\n
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My mother was quite handy with a needle. She was a perfectionist. Her embroidery was tiny, intricate, and perfect. She used to drive me crazy when she sewed clothes. She basted every seam and ripped stitches out for the smallest mistakes that only her eyes could see.

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When Mom was expecting my older brother, she embroidered some quilt squares with the state birds and flowers. She only did 45 or 46 of them. Then life got busy with babies and a sad, disappointing marriage and the squares got wrapped in tissue and tucked into the cedar chest. I found them 35 years later on a trip home and asked if I could have them to make a quilt. I knew nothing about quilting but I read Mother Earth News and fancied myself as some sort of earth mother. I gardened, baked my own bread, made yogurt and tofu by hand, and rode horses every afternoon in the summer and skied in the winter. I rocked in front of the fire in my log house in the Rockies and pieced my first quilt. By the time I got about a third done quilting it, I had a baby and in typical Gemini fashion, never went back to it.

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At the beginning of this year when my living situation changed, my high school friend Ginny called me up and offered her home to me while she was away in Wyoming with her kids. Her apartment is located over her quilt shop in a two story brick Victorian. Ginny does long-arm quilting so I saw my opportunity to get this quilt finished. She carefully took out all my terribly uneven stitches, replacing the horrible puffy polyester batting, and came up with the perfect floral fabric for the backing. I went over yesterday and picked it up. And here it is…Mama's Quilt.

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Sixty-four years in the making. Stitched in West Virginia, toted to Colorado to be lovingly pieced together, dragged to different houses, stuffed in various closets, and…finally, toted BACK across the country only to be finished in Ohio by my high school friend. Around, around, around…a quilt is born.

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And Mama smiles.

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❤

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\n

\"a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak,\".

\nEcclesiastes 3:7\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2015-05-23T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/05/23/from-my-mothers-hands.html", "tags": ["Family","Gratitude","Comfort","Aging","Memories"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/05/07/writing.html", "title": "Writing", "content_html": "\n
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I write every day. Sometimes I read what I write and it seems like someone else wrote it because I don't write that well. It's inspired from a higher source, I think. And sometimes I write and think to myself, \"This is gosh awful.\" And, I'll be SO tempted to go back and chuck it all and start over. I've only done that a handful of times. Usually I let it go and it speaks to someone and I remember my prayer. I always pray over every post. I ask God to bring me the words to say and the reader that needs to hear them. It doesn't really matter whether I like the writing or not. It's not FOR me.

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Last night I struggled with what to write for today. I called a friend in Florida. He is a good sounding board and often gives me inspiration on topics to write about. Last night I was venting my frustration over which dishes to keep and which to let go. I have three full sets of dishes and a sweet luncheon set. One set is stoneware. It was something Mr. Virgo picked out and he gave them to me our last Christmas before he died. But I have no real emotional attachment to them. They're just dishes. He also gave me a set of Spode Christmas china. Nice, but still…totally impractical in a travel trailer. I love the little luncheon set. One of my dear friends gave it to me as a housewarming gift when I built my house in Colorado. They're cute but impractical.

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Then there's the set of Royal Daulton china. We were buying a tablecloth when I walked up to Mr. Virgo standing in front of the china display. I absentmindedly told him I'd never had a set of china. My breath caught when I saw the pattern called Tennyson. So regal and strong. So sophisticated and delicate. I loved them at first sight. I received eight place settings my next birthday. I sat down on the floor and cried like a little girl because I'd never had anything so beautiful. I cannot get rid of them. Thank God I have friends here who have offered space in their basements or storage sheds to store things I just can't part with till I have more time to consider what I want to do with them.

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Which brings me to my point. I had prattled on and on about the dilemma of the dishes till I finally told my friend there wasn't anything I could do about it right at that moment anyway. It was time to start unwinding and get to sleep. I thanked him for listening. Sometimes that's all you need…someone to hear you. Someone to say, \"You're doing fine. Just keep moving forward.\"

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What I have to write about is not always profound. It's not always some deep thought provoking essay. Sometimes it's just an ordinary problem like what to do with the dishes. And that's ok. Maybe one of you doesn't know what to do with your dishes and you might find inspiration. Maybe you're who I was meant to talk to today.

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❤

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\n

\"But as for you, be strong and do not give up, for your work will be rewarded.”

\n2 Chronicles 15:7\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2015-05-07T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/05/07/writing.html", "tags": ["Comfort","Wisdom","Writing"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/04/19/no-words-today.html", "title": "No Words Today", "content_html": "\n
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Sometimes, after a perfect day, one is left totally spent and without words. Yesterday was such a day.

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Coffee with classmates, a 15 mile bike ride, great salad for lunch, a trip to the bike shop and mall, then the evening spent with friends. Perfectly happy!

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Enjoy your Sunday!

\n\n", "date_published": "2015-04-19T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/04/19/no-words-today.html", "tags": ["Hope","Gratitude","Comfort"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/04/13/peace.html", "title": "Peace", "content_html": "\n
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What a beautiful weekend! Live music Friday night. This is a tradition I intend to keep up. Saturday morning was a trip to Athens to the local Farmer's Market. I got fresh farm eggs, sweet potatoes, a small rhubarb pie, and some really great artisanal pepper jack cheese. Yummmm! Afterwards, we went across town and rode our bikes for an hour (about 12 miles) on a beautiful path along the river. It meandered through the woods and farms. It felt so good to go out and pump my legs and feel the burn. To feel the wind across my face reminded me I'm indeed in my second childhood…that time when we aren't too old to play outside and we don't have to necessarily \"mind\".

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It's the simplest things that bring a smile to my lips these days. After the ride, we joined a dozen or so others from the bike club and had lunch at a Mexican restaurant. I took a lovely nap when I got home and a friend of mine came up to the river to camp in her trailer parked here. Five of us gals got together at a local restaurant for dinner and laughed for a couple of hours. My friend came over to my camper for breakfast Sunday and I made pancakes. I think she's my first guest for a meal in my new \"home\". Unfortunately, I have so much stuff in my camper, I had to move things around in order to find a place to sit, but I'm making progress…slowly but surely.

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Peace. It means different things at different stages in life. Finishing this downsizing project has created more chaos in my living space, but I know from experience that if I keep going, the reward will be a peaceful life. It's amazing how little storage space there is in here. My focus has been to create ways to store more stuff. I think I need to reshape that to be \"how to get the stuff that I actually NEED down to what will fit.\" My friend and I were talking over breakfast. How many outfits do I really need? I lived all winter with what clothes fit in a small shirt closet and a suitcase. I didn't feel deprived and I was well dressed when I went out. It's hard to let go of perfectly good things. I was actually beginning to consider trading in this camper for one with more storage but that's ridiculous. Unfortunately, I have discovered the back of my truck doesn't stay dry during driving rainstorms. I'm going to have to have them seal it better because some things got really wet and ruined. I'm just glad I didn't have all my clothes hung back there. These are the bugs I'm working out. I just have to keep telling myself I'm still building this life…it's a work in progress. Peace.

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❤

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\"for God is not a God of confusion but of peace…\"

\n1 Corinthians 14:33\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2015-04-13T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/04/13/peace.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Camping","Comfort","Downsizing"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/04/09/quiet.html", "title": "Quiet", "content_html": "\n
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Spring has come to West Virginia. The flowers are blooming and the thunder is booming. It's been a long time since I've heard this kind of storm.

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Yesterday was the perfect spring day! After sleeping eight hours, I met a friend of mine and went for a 3 mile walk. Afterwards, we went to the local bike shop to check out their spring sale. I bought my last major purchase for getting set up in this new life. I bought a hybrid bike…a cross between a street bike and a mountain bike. We went for a 5 mile ride to try it out and it's perfect! Now I can exercise and get around town without using a lot of gas.

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I got home five minutes before the inky sky opened up the floodgates. I took a nap, then went to my cousin's house. He, his wife and I went out for dinner. We sat around and talked and I came home between thunderstorms. It really was a perfect spring day.

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❤

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\"But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.\"

\nLuke 5:16\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2015-04-09T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/04/09/quiet.html", "tags": ["Health","Comfort","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/04/01/recharge.html", "title": "Recharge!", "content_html": "\n
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Most days I have an agenda. I don't necessarily write lists like I did when I was working. Things are a lot looser these days. But yesterday was a totally self-indulgent \"Ginny\" day. I had breakfast and coffee in bed and read, wrote, surfed, and chatted the day away. Some may call that a day wasted but for me, a day like that is completely necessary on occasion in order to recharge my batteries. I've had some interactions lately that left me disappointed and feeling depleted. That is totally out of character for me and that is always my cue to back off and chill out. If my schedule for the rest of the week were more open, and if it were just a bit warmer, I would have hooked up TOW-Wanda and headed for the hills. As it was, I just hunkered down and enjoyed the sound of the wind rocking my camper and today is a brand new day!

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What do you do to recharge when life wrings the stuffin's out of you?

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❤

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Beloved, I pray that all may go well with you and that you may be in good health, as it goes well with your soul.

\n3 John 1:2 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2015-04-01T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/04/01/recharge.html", "tags": ["Health","Comfort","Peaceful Moments"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/02/23/princess.html", "title": "Princess", "content_html": "\n
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I'll admit it. I'm a princess. I think my little foray to a local historic hotel for a weekend of indoor camping proves that. I have stayed in some pretty fine hotels around the country, most notably in Aspen. But I have to tell you, I have never been treated better than I was at the Blennerhassett Hotel this weekend. I walked in, literally dragging my suitcase and briefcase, getting stuck in the door on my way in. From the moment they set eyes on me to the moment they placed that same briefcase carefully in my truck at checkout, I was literally treated like royalty. The room I was given was perfectly lovely. A king bed with a hundred pillows and crisp white sheets was a welcome respite. The tub was the perfect size for soaking my so sad and weary bones after the deep freeze of the last couple of weeks. The only thing that was somewhat bothersome was a couple of dogs in a room down the hall. They did create quite a ruckus when their people went out, which seemed to be quite a lot. When I went down for my morning coffee Saturday, I mentioned this to the front desk clerk and she said she would see about it. I went back to my room to write and by 11:00, the barking had not let up. I called down to the front desk and asked if it was at all possible to be moved. There were no questions asked. They immediately moved me to a lovely room, a bit bigger, on the floor above. The bellman had no sooner left till I looked into the bathroom, and…..no tub! Noooooo! The whole purpose of this exercise was to soak in the tub…as long as possible. I called down and told the clerk I really didn't want to be THAT guest and pointed out the lack of a tub. She remembered me telling her how important that was at check in and immediately set to finding me the perfect room. And she did…wow! I have lived in apartments that were smaller than this room! On top of that, I was given a small box of Holl's chocolates \"for my trouble\". Are you kidding??? I felt like a member of the family. Thank you so much, Dorinda and the rest of the staff. Honestly, I couldn't have been happier with my stay and look forward to seeing you all again, even if it's just for coffee or lunch.

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I have learned a lot on this grief journey. First, you must speak your needs, clearly and without fear. If something is not right, no one is going to rescue you and fix it. Second…you need to treat yourself once in awhile. When you are nearing the end of your rope, make a phone call…for a massage, for a dinner reservation, for a date with a friend, or…if you really need to pull out the big guns, for a room at a hotel for a night or two. I didn't break the bank here. This is a slow time of year for hotels and they are all too happy to fill their rooms and don't mind giving you a reasonable discount. All it takes is a pleasant demeanor…and maybe a note of crazed cabin fever in your voice…and you can have a huge vacation crammed into 48 hours of bubble baths and chocolate. Be good to yourself…you NEED it.

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❤

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\"Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings\"

\nPsalm 17:8 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2015-02-23T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/02/23/princess.html", "tags": ["Fun","Gratitude","Comfort","Peaceful Moments","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/02/22/sweet-memories.html", "title": "Sweet Memories", "content_html": "\n
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Mr. Virgo was born and raised in Philadelphia and spent a large portion of his life in Florida. However, the home of his heart was Colorado. He knew I wanted to come back to West Virginia and he would have done anything for me. So, a few years ago, he came here to this very hotel I'm staying in and interviewed for the Food and Beverage Director position. That's one of the reasons I chose this place to stay for my brief respite from the cold and snow. He had been here. So, a part of his energy remains and I wanted to find it.

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I went down for breakfast and my beloved Starbucks latte. I sat in the big comfy leather chair and visually set a place for Mr. Virgo at the table beside me. I often do that when I'm going out to eat. He \"makes\" me look around and take notice of the restaurant as he used to do. Cleanliness, service, decor, food…all things he taught me about the restaurant business. All things I want to smack him for because it has forever tainted my experience of dining out. :-)

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I sat back and enjoyed my new copy of Home magazine, pausing on occasion to look out at the snow piling up outside. There was soft jazzy \"elevator\" music in the background. Then I felt him. It happens sometimes. I knew he had come in and sat in the chair I had set for him. I smiled knowingly and sent him a mental hello. I knew he was about to send me a message, and I instinctively knew it was going to be through the music playing overhead. He has done that many times. Sure enough, the music switched from canned Muzak to Christina Perri singing \"A Thousand Years\". My heightened awareness led me to listen to every word and hear them as I hadn't before…as a message from a very special man.

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\"A Thousand Years\"

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\"Heart beats fast\nColors and promises\nHow to be brave?\nHow can I love when I'm afraid to fall?\nBut watching you stand alone,\nAll of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow.\nOne step closer\n\n[Chorus:]\nI have died every day waiting for you\nDarling, don't be afraid I have loved you\nFor a thousand years\nI'll love you for a thousand more\n\nTime stands still\nBeauty in all she is\nI will be brave\nI will not let anything take away\nWhat's standing in front of me\nEvery breath\nEvery hour has come to this\nOne step closer\n\n[Chorus:]\nI have died every day waiting for you\nDarling, don't be afraid I have loved you\nFor a thousand years\nI'll love you for a thousand more\n\nAnd all along I believed I would find you\nTime has brought your heart to me\nI have loved you for a thousand years\nI'll love you for a thousand more\nOne step closer\nOne step closer\n\n[Chorus:]\nI have died every day waiting for you\nDarling don't be afraid I have loved you\nFor a thousand years\nI'll love you for a thousand more\nAnd all along I believed I would find you\nTime has brought your heart to me\nI have loved you for a thousand years\nI'll love you for a thousand more\"
\n\n\n

My heart warmed, I smiled, and…of course…I got a little lump in my throat as I enjoyed our moment together because I knew it wouldn't last long enough. It never does. The song ended, and just like that, the moment was gone. The music switched back to jazzy Muzak and Mr. Virgo slipped off into the nether regions of the hotel, certainly to follow some unsuspecting server around to make sure she's doing things right.

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❤

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\"No widow may be put on the list of widows unless she is over sixty, has been faithful to her husband, and is well known for her good deeds, such as bringing up children, showing hospitality, washing the feet of the Lord’s people, helping those in trouble and devoting herself to all kinds of good deeds.\"

\n1 Timothy 5:9-10 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2015-02-22T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/02/22/sweet-memories.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Grief","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Courage","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/02/19/lent.html", "title": "Lent", "content_html": "\n
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Mr. Virgo was Catholic and always gave up chocolate for Lent. He loved his chocolate so this was a great sacrifice for him. I'm not Catholic and not as willing to make such a huge sacrifice as that. So, I've decided I'm giving up snow for Lent. That works for me!

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After Monday's blue-blaster skies, yesterday dawned with cold, gray, blustery snow. Ick. My highlight of the day was when a friend showed up for a visit. Company! I picked up and everything. Took me two minutes. One can live large in a small space. The thing I miss the most living in my camper is no bathtub. I miss my bubble baths. I'm trying to figure out how I could put a bathtub in here. I'd have to take out the vanity in the bathroom but hey…sink? Or soak? I'd take the soak any day of the week. It's probably just a pipe dream but it gives me something warm to think about! Especially after my foray into bathing without benefit of running water. I have a gym membership so I can shower there. But the snow has me housebound the last couple of days. I couldn't stand my hair one more day so yesterday morning I took out my soup pot and heated up about a gallon and a half of water. I poured it in a dishpan that I perched on top of the toilet. After adding enough cold water to cool it down, I washed my hair, then sponge bathed. Afterwards, I cleaned the bathroom and washed the floors with the same water. I'm resourceful, to say the least. And, I felt 100% better afterward. I celebrated with pancakes! It's the little things. lol

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❤

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\"He placed the basin between the tent of meeting and the altar and put water in it for washing, and Moses and Aaron and his sons used it to wash their hands and feet.\"

\nExodus 40:30-31 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2015-02-19T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/02/19/lent.html", "tags": ["Camping","Comfort","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/02/15/fifty-shades-of-white.html", "title": "Fifty Shades of White", "content_html": "\n
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I have no interest in the movie with Mr. Grey. I also have no interest in what's been going on outside my camper. Is it too much to ask for a little green? Maybe some crickets? While moving back into my camper has helped me feel less cooped up, I'm longing for a little color in my world! Soon, soon. At least it's warm in here!

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One thing I have quickly discovered is I'm going to have to modify my internet usage on my phone. I am used to unlimited wifi access and you can really use up your data quickly on a cellphone! I upgraded last week to an iPhone 6 Plus. My vision has deteriorated to the point where I am having trouble seeing the screen on the regular phone. Aging isn't for sissies. This is more like a tablet and works well for my daily writing. I remember when I bought our first home computer back in the late '80s. The guy told me someday there would be computers thousands of times more powerful than this huge box I was buying and women would carry them in their purse. Get out! I scoffed. I am a gear head. I love my electronic gadgets and this one is pretty darned handy!

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❤

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\n

\"He changes times and seasons; he deposes kings and raises up others. He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the discerning.\"

\nDaniel 2:21 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2015-02-15T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/02/15/fifty-shades-of-white.html", "tags": ["Camping","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/02/10/rest.html", "title": "Rest", "content_html": "\n
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I mailed fifteen packages of photographs yesterday! I can't tell you what an awesome feeling that is. I decided to celebrate by starting my little renovation project in my camper. I bought a twin sized mattress and box springs. I put them in the space where the dinette sits. I did the same thing in my first camper and loved it. I don't know what I was thinking though. The box springs makes the bed way too high so out they come today. I unhooked the propane tanks today, took them to be filled, and hooked them back up again. I bought sheets for the new bed. I was fortunate to find a twin sized electric blanket and got that as well. I picked up some groceries and headed back to TOW-Wanda. As a reward for getting the scanning done, I slept in my tiny home last night! Today I'm just being still. Life is so sweet.

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❤

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\n

\"When you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet.\"

\nProverbs 3:24 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2015-02-10T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/02/10/rest.html", "tags": ["Gratitude","Comfort","Presence","Peaceful Moments"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/02/09/home.html", "title": "Home", "content_html": "\n
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I've been thinking of Maslow's hierarchy of needs lately. It's a theory in psychology that demonstrates human motivations. The largest need is biological and physiological…your basic life needs like air, food, drink, shelter, warmth, sleep. The next largest need is safety as in security, order, stability. Then comes love, esteem, cognitive, aesthetic, self-actualization, and transcendence. My bohemian lifestyle has thrown some of these things up in the air and I am still waiting to see how they land…much in the way we used to play \"pick up sticks\" when we were kids.

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Ok, my biological and physical needs are being met. I have shelter, no matter what, because I can take my house wherever I choose to go. It's paid for and that offers me much more security than a big three bedroom house with a mortgage. My biggest challenge in the hierarchy is knowing where I'll be from month to month. I am an extremely flexible person…I think I've demonstrated that pretty well. There's something romantic and exciting about letting the chips fall where they may. But this concept of \"home\" is nebulous. It's a shapeshifter.

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It was a beautiful day yesterday so I headed to see TOW-Wanda Grande after church. I found myself looking for her roofline with anticipation as I came around the bend. I opened the door and immediately felt I was home. I'm going to do a little remodel when I move back in. I want to turn the bedroom into a studio and the dinette into a bed, just like I had in little TOW-Wanda. I turned on the electric blanket and snuggled down for a little nap. Oh, I can't wait to sleep in my own bed again. Soon baby, soon…mama's comin' home!

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❤

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\n

By wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established; by knowledge the rooms are filled with all precious and pleasant riches.

\nProverbs 24:3-4 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2015-02-09T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/02/09/home.html", "tags": ["Health","Hope","Comfort"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/02/04/regret.html", "title": "Regret", "content_html": "\n
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Regret should be one of the deadly sins. Not because it keeps you from God, but because it keeps you from peace. Regret is a pocket full of stones…the more you collect, the harder it is to swim. Yet, it's so easy to feel regret, isn't it? We do things that we wish we hadn't. We hurt others. We make poor choices. Remorse comes after we've done something wrong. We avoid taking chances. Regret comes from NOT doing something we wish we would have. It's easy to get mired down wishing things would have happened differently. As my grandma used to say, wish in one hand and spit in the other. See which one fills up first. In other words…it's useless to fill our hearts and minds with regret.

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We waste so much emotional energy on things that we simply cannot change. If I have made a mess of things, and there is some way to make restitution, then that's what I must do. After that, it becomes an experience and…hopefully…a lesson learned. The older I get, the easier it has become to let go of regrets. That doesn't meant I have let go of every single one. There are two things that I regret. One is that I didn't demonstrate faith to my children because I was fearful of it at the time. The second is that I did not insist Mr. Virgo have the tests done that his doctor wanted him to do. There are no do-overs in either department. The only thing I can do is live my best life, teaching by example. And feel the loss of my loved one knowing he was a stubborn man and I could not make him do anything. He was going to live his life on his terms, no matter what anyone else might say.

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It does not pay to chase the winds of folly. We must apply ourselves to the understanding of wisdom and absorb the lessons learned. We are human. We are fallible. We do what we know. And when we know better, we do better.

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❤

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\n

\"Then I applied myself to the understanding of wisdom, and also of madness and folly, but I learned that this, too, is a chasing after the wind.\"

\nEcclesiastes 1:17 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2015-02-04T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/02/04/regret.html", "tags": ["Grief","Comfort","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/01/18/a-dream-of-hope.html", "title": "A Dream of Hope", "content_html": "\n
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I slept at least 30 out of 36 hours during my bout with the stomach virus from you-know-where. I woke up for the umpteenth time yesterday at noon and remembered the dream I'd just had. I used to remember my dreams…always. But since losing Mr. Virgo, I'd say I have remembered less than a hand full. Not sure why that is. But this dream was wonderful and I wanted to share it with you.

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It was only my second dream of Mr. Virgo since he died. He had been away working all this time and I decided to go visit him at his new job. I got there and he was dressed in a nice brown suit. He took me in his office where he had been sorting papers. A woman came in and he handed her a stack to be shredded. He hugged me and told me he missed me so much and he was so glad I came. Before I could say anything, I noticed a huge yellow butterfly on the lamp behind him. I pointed and he turned to look. Now, I never ever saw Mr. Virgo cry, but he put his chin down and wept in what I felt was joy. I felt there was someone in the room with us and I turned to my right and it was the same guardian angel that I saw when I had my EMDR treatment for PTSD. When I looked back, I saw that I was looking through a window at Mr. Virgo in Heaven. It was amazing.

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I shared this with my cousin. She said perhaps the shredding of the papers is a sign of getting rid of the clutter and unwanted grief junk in my life. And the butterfly is a sign of new life, new beginnings. When you are sick, you are particularly vulnerable to the shards of grief cutting into you. It's far too easy to slip down that slope of sadness till you find yourself mired in the muck.

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I woke from the dream and laid there…listening to my heart. I felt Mr. Virgo whisper, \"Come on, baby doll. Get up. You'll feel a whole lot better after a shower and some breakfast.\" And, he was right, of course. I walked around the neighborhood and checked out some of the little shops. I stopped at the cute little soda fountain and had a grilled cheese and a Coke. And I felt much better. So much better.

\n\n\n

❤

\n\n", "date_published": "2015-01-18T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/01/18/a-dream-of-hope.html", "tags": ["Comfort","Wisdom","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/01/17/sick-day.html", "title": "Sick Day", "content_html": "\n
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Darn it. Thursday night I was suddenly struck with an immensely awful GI bug. By 3:00am I nearly called someone to come take me to the ER. But I have a prescription for Zofran, the only anti nausea medicine I can take, so I just hung in there. I could hardly wait till 6:00 when the little restaurant downstairs opened. I called down and they met me at the door with four cans of Sierra Mist and a container of ice. Once I started sipping on that, things settled down. I stayed in bed all day yesterday. Fever, chills, headache. Yuck.

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It really sucks being sick. It really, REALLY sucks being sick alone. I slept most of the day. Remember when your mom took care of you when you were sick? That cool hand on your forehead was heaven! I only got sick a couple of times when I was with Mr. Virgo. He didn't have any patience when he was sick, but he took good care of me when I was. It's times like this I just want to go home….wherever THAT is.

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?

\n\n", "date_published": "2015-01-17T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/01/17/sick-day.html", "tags": ["Health","Comfort","Fear"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/01/13/the-invisible-woman.html", "title": "The Invisible Woman", "content_html": "\n
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Ok…show of hands. How many of you have felt invisible? Is it just me, or are we becoming more and more invisible the older we get? We are often overlooked, discounted, discarded. We aren't given the good jobs. We're overlooked for promotions and shuffled out the door with early retirement offers…or more often than not, flat out replaced. Doctors don't always listen. Neither do nubile young store clerks. And when we assert ourselves…when we stand up to be counted…when we are a force to be reckoned with, we are labeled a B1+<# or the \"problem patient\". We were trained to \"be nice\", \"don't rock the boat\", \"be a good girl\". At least, that's what I was taught. I'm getting much better at asserting myself, especially now that I am on my own.

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With the Boomers in their Golden Years, there are more people facing retirement now than there ever has been. Statistically, men don't live quite as long as women so the ratio is going to shift markedly before too long. I don't know about you, but I already feel the most invisible around men. I consider myself to be a fairly good looking woman and I have turned my share of heads in the past. Not so anymore. I'm not sending out signals that I'm interested, I suppose. I wear rings on both hands most of the time. I'm not sure I would want to be in another relationship anyway. Also, a woman has to be careful to protect her retirement benefits and marriage is not necessarily the best thing from a financial standpoint once you get to a certain age. I'm in that gray area between \"I miss being part of a couple.\" and \"I'm free to do what I want, when I want.\" I have friends in both camps. The former ache to have some companionship. The latter assure me they're doing fine on their own.

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I have always enjoyed the company of men. I love their testosterone, their comforting bigness, their conversational style. I have some wonderful gentleman friends. I have guys I can talk to on the phone whenever I need. But I'm missing my \"let's go to a movie or out to dinner\" buddies. I haven't really found that here. I'm hoping by expanding my social circle I can meet more people and make more friends that I can hang out with because I don't like feeling invisible. I miss having an instant date. I miss getting all the hugs and kisses I could ever want. I miss the appreciation of a handsome man…MY handsome man. I know it will be a lot easier when Spring comes and I can get out and about more. Freezing temps, freezing rain, gray skies, short days make it more challenging to get out and meet people so I just have to be more creative! The fact that I am doing an incredibly tedious job scanning a gazillion photos onto an external hard drive for hours and hours at a time isn't helping matters any. My \"carrot\" is getting out from under the burden of carting around all this \"stuff\". Every step brings not only me, but also my kids closer to the freedom of not having to go through a house full of crap one day. I want to be free so that if I DO meet a friend who wants to say…travel to Europe, I can drop everything and go. There's some motivation right there!

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❤

\n\n", "date_published": "2015-01-13T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/01/13/the-invisible-woman.html", "tags": ["Growth","Gratitude","Comfort"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/01/01/a-different-time-a-different.html", "title": "A Different Time, A Different Place", "content_html": "\n
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It's fitting that I will awaken on New Year's Day in a new place. I moved into my friend's beautiful loft yesterday. She practices Feng Shui and I must say the energy in this space is amazingly clear and clean. There is \"happy\" oozing all over the place!

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I went out for dinner last night at the local brew pub with a relatively new group of people and it was quite lovely. They are energetic, upbeat, athletic. The food was wonderful, the service great, and the restaurant was abuzz with excitement for the busy night ahead.

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I went to the Post Office yesterday to get a PO Box and have my mail forwarded. This way I'll get my mail more than once a week. When the man gave me the box number, I was floored. It's the SAME mailbox my first husband had when he joined the service! I mean, the same box in the same post office in the same town. What are the odds???

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A new year. This time last year I was SO ready to turn the calendar over because then I could say he died \"last year\" instead of however many MONTHS it had been. I can say \"a couple of years ago\" now and not be far off. A line in the sand. A demarcation. A landmark. Time marches on…the sands of time blasting away the sharp edges of grief and smoothing them down into something far easier to handle. Yes, crossing this line in the sand is a good thing. Being in this space is a good thing. I am filled with endless possibilities!

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❤

\n\n", "date_published": "2015-01-01T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/01/01/a-different-time-a-different.html", "tags": ["Hope","Gratitude","Comfort","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/12/23/the-gift.html", "title": "The Gift", "content_html": "\n
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Christmas was big in our house. Mr. Virgo listened…to every little gasp at something beautiful that caught my eye. To every little \"Darn it…I wish I had _, it would make this job so much easier.\" To every shiver in the cold or gaze through a shop window…he listened, and watched, and waited. He hid things…in his sock drawer, in his briefcase, in his cowboy boot on the back of the top shelf. Boxes arrived and I was forbidden entry to his closet for a month. He listened…and he planned…and he schemed. And when the time came to open presents, he sat with eager anticipation…not for what HE was going to get. No…he wanted to see the look on my face when I opened…the…perfect…present. He never disappointed. Well, ok…there WAS the year he gave me a flintlock rifle because he thought it would look good hanging over the TV, but I've long since forgiven him for that. ;-) He spoiled me rotten. He indulged me. And I miss that. Not the \"stuff\". I mean, if I really wanted something, I would find a way to get it. That's not the issue. I miss the production, the anticipation, the execution of the surprise. I miss the attention. I miss the love.

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I have people who love me. I have people who buy me things and they are sweet and tender and the thought that someone has gone out of their way to give me a gift is touching. I have a friend who sends me a little something from Tiffany every year because he knows my heart races when I see that blue box. I get portraits of my grandchildren. I get Starbucks gift cards and lunch or dinner (or both) out. I get cards and hugs. And I am grateful. I am blessed.

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Still…nothing compares to the Ghost of Christmas Past. I need to change my focus or I'll just keep missing what I do not have. So, this year I have compiled a list of gifts I am going to give myself this Christmas.

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    \n
  1. Time. This year, same as last, I'm giving myself the gift of time. Time to heal. Time to take care of myself. Time to learn and grow and change. Grief is not linear. It is not finite. It is an ongoing process that takes attention and I will give myself time.
    2. \n
  2. Love. I will love myself tenderly and be gentle with my spirit. It has been wounded and it needs to be loved back to health. I will love Jesus with renewed intention as He is my Rock, my Healer, my Savior in all things. I will love my family and my friends because they are my cheerleaders, my support, my haven.
    3. \n
  3. Health. I will take better care of myself and honor the body I have been given to carry me around in. I will walk. I will set and meet goals. I will live and breathe and feel every moment of my life.
    4. \n
  4. Permission. I will give myself permission to live freely, to love with abandon, to learn with passion, to break through barriers that hold me back from being fully present in each moment.
    5. \n
  5. Forgiveness. I will give myself the gift of forgiveness. For not being perfect. For not being skinny or athletic. For not using sunscreen or flossing regularly. For being short tempered when I've been tired. For a million little things that keep me too occupied with what has already happened to allow me to truly be open to the opportunities life throws at me every day.
    6. \n
  6. An Open Heart. I will renew my vow to keep my heart wide open, even when I feel it may be in danger of getting stepped on, or tripped over. I will take care of it, surely. But I will not be afraid to love again.
    7. \n
  7. Compassion. For myself. For others. For the world.
    8. \n
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Seven gifts. One for each day of the week. Gifts that I can rotate and keep giving myself over and over and over. I won't have to take them back…they're just the right size. And if I keep giving myself these gifts, I'll have such an abundance of time, love, health, permission, forgiveness, heart, and compassion that the surplus will just overflow and splash all over everyone around me.

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It is not selfish to give yourself such gifts. This is a difficult time of year. High self-expectations lead to stress and disappointment. We are overextended…physically, mentally, emotionally, financially. Add the stress of grief to that and you have a recipe for disaster. Give yourself the gift of self care.

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You cannot water a garden if your well is dry. Fill it up!

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❤

\n\n", "date_published": "2014-12-23T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/12/23/the-gift.html", "tags": ["Health","Grief","Growth","Comfort","Grace","Courage","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/12/22/dear-santa.html", "title": "Dear Santa,", "content_html": "\n
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One year ago today, I was sitting in my house with a huge gaping hole in my chest where my heart used to be. I knew instinctively that it wasn't a good idea for me to wallow around in my bedroom all day and it took every ounce of strength I had to get out of bed, get dressed, and head to the mall. It was there that I ran into you and wrote the following post.

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\"Santa!

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I find that if I get out and mingle with people I do a lot better than if I hang out at the house too much. Today was no exception. I found myself wasting the day away so I headed to town about 2pm. I have lived in my small town since 1986 so I can just about bank on seeing someone I know when I'm out and about.

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First stop was the bank. The gals are always so sweet and want to know what adventure I'm heading on next. Then I went to the mall. I needed a screen protector so while I waited I chatted with a gal I knew. She didn't know about Mr. Virgo so I had to tell her. Sympathy, hugs, promises to do lunch. All so gratefully received. I wandered around till I got to Penney's. Big sale so I picked up a pair of jeans and saw another gal I've known forever. Sympathy, hugs, tears. Pulled it together and headed in the other direction. Down at the other end of the mall, there was Santa with three beautiful children on his lap. Now, my normal operating mode is to cry over Hallmark commercials. Don't EVEN show me one with a soldier coming home to his mom! I stood watching these bright and shiny faces gazing in wonder at Santa and I was reminded of when Mr. Virgo had his beard (omgosh…he looked JUST like Sean Connery, I kid you not!). He worked at the Hotel Jerome and was asked to be Santa. Oh! You would have thought they had given him the leading role in the year's biggest blockbuster movie, he was that excited. So of course, I had to stand there watching Santa and the children and didn't even realize tears were falling off my chin. The children left and I noticed Santa watching me. He cocked his head a little, scooched over in the chair and patted the seat beside him. I looked around and decided I really needed a visit with this jolly, old elf. I walked up and sat down. I kept my eyes diverted a bit because I knew if I made direct eye contact, I was a goner. We sat in silence for a bit and finally, I whispered to him, \"My husband died. I need a new heart.\" He put his arm around me and drew me close. He whispered back, \"I'm so sorry.\" I told him what had happened and that I had such sweet memories of Mr. Virgo at Christmas. I apologized for being such a mess. He told me I was perfect. I asked if I could just sit with him for a minute. He leaned his head against mine and patted my back while I cried. It didn't take long. I had it back together in just a couple of minutes. These water works turn on and off fairly quickly, most of the time. He said, \"Will you have your picture taken with me?\" I smiled and wiped the last tears away, and with the same awe I saw on the faces of those beautiful children, I nodded and said, \"I'd like that.\" He whispered, \"Thank you for stopping.\" I whispered back, \"Thank you for being real.\"

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Well, Santa…I just want you to know I'm doing better this year. Even though I didn't get a new heart last year, the one I have has come a long way towards healing. It still hurts sometimes, and when it does, my eyes leak then I feel better. I sold my house and either sold or gave away just about everything I own. I traded in my Expedition for an F-150 and the 16 footer for a 24 footer and drove cross country. I'm caring for an elderly aunt with no children.

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If you would leave me a handful of courage, a dash of strength, and a dollop of patience, I'd sure appreciate it. No need to leave me any faith this year…I've got oodles! Thank you for the gifts you gave me last Christmas. They fit me perfectly! Say hello to Mrs. Claus and those little elves you raised. Here's to a great New Year!

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Ginny

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❤

\n\n", "date_published": "2014-12-22T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/12/22/dear-santa.html", "tags": ["Grief","Growth","Comfort","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/12/15/doctor-doctori-can-walk.html", "title": "Doctor, Doctor…I Can Walk!", "content_html": "\n
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I found the spark in my heart and gently blew the embers back to flame.

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Baking all day with my family yesterday was just what the doctor ordered! I got up and went to church, which I sorely needed. Then came back and started baking. Twenty dozen cookies, three trays of butter mints, a batch of Chocolate No Bakes, a batch of Rolo Pretzel cookies, a batch of Cherry Mash, a double batch of Jello Jigglers, and about five dozen \"dipped treats\" such as pretzels and Oreos and candy canes dipped in white chocolate! All in six hours and we only over cooked one tray of cookies. Three bakers, one stove, and two very cute little taste testers. My heart is as full as my tummy!

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Such is the nature of grief. If there is any message I truly want you to hear, it's this:

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The holidays are marching toward us. While they are difficult, the long stretch of time that crawls toward spring can be even more so. Have an \"accountability partner\". Someone who you can call, day or night, if the going gets too tough. Don't be embarrassed to seek help if you need it. We'll get through this, you and I.

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❤

\n\n", "date_published": "2014-12-15T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/12/15/doctor-doctori-can-walk.html", "tags": ["Grief","Hope","Growth","Comfort","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/12/12/touch.html", "title": "Touch", "content_html": "\n
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Humans need it in order to survive. In order to thrive, we need lots of it. But what happens when we're alone? Whether by choice or by chance, we who live alone are deprived of a wonderful part of life when we are not touched. I had such a busy day yesterday and right smack dab in the middle of it I decided to go get a massage. OMGosh! It was divine. I think it should be a national mandate that everyone receives a massage once a week. The world would be a happier place.

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I took my real life brother out for dinner last night and that was wonderful. I had coffee with my girlfriends yesterday morning. I went to my church group last night then stayed at my brother-friend's house. It was a beautiful day!

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❤

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Photo courtesy of Shawn Clark Massage Therapy

\n\n", "date_published": "2014-12-12T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/12/12/touch.html", "tags": ["Family","Fun","Gratitude","Comfort"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/11/25/over-the-river.html", "title": "Over the River…", "content_html": "\n
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I spent the day yesterday baking. I made a yellow cake with penuche frosting. Have any of you had that? My grandma always had a yellow cake with penuche frosting at family dinners. It was baked in a sheet cake pan and I dearly loved that frosting. It's made with butter and brown sugar and confectioners sugar. Ok….it's just sugar…spreadable, caramelized, burry sugar! Then I baked a double batch of corn bread. This was for the Hunter's Chili/Soup Bean Supper at the community building last night. Yes, my friends…I'm sure if you have never spent time in our neck of the woods, you are not aware that yesterday started a national holiday. It was the opening day of rifle deer season! Schools actually SHUT DOWN for the first week. Grown men quit their jobs if they think their boss won't let them off for hunting season. People dressed in camo, rifles in their gun racks, muddy four wheelers in the backs of their muddy trucks, shots ringing out from every hilltop and holler. Man oh man…it's Carhartt Heaven here! So, we had our supper last night and the fellers sat around to chew the fat fer a while. The old guys telling these young whipper snappers how it was done in their day…each tale bigger than the last. What a hoot!

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Y'all are gonna think that's all I do…bake and cook. Well, I sure have been enjoying it and this farm brings it out in me since this is where I learned to cook in the first place. Tomorrow we head to the cousin's for Thanksgiving. I'm bringing all my ingredients with me to bake there. We were going to leave Wednesday but there's six inches of snow predicted so we'll go early. It was 70 degrees here yesterday…what an absolute treat!

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What is your favorite food memory of Thanksgiving?

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<3

\n\n", "date_published": "2014-11-25T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/11/25/over-the-river.html", "tags": ["West Virginia","The Farm","Comfort","Baking"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/11/23/keeping-young-while-growing-old.html", "title": "Keeping Young while Growing Old", "content_html": "\n
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I spent yesterday morning helping my aunt make pies for last night's \"Sing\". She used prepared pie crust for the very first time. She insisted she bake a scrap of it ahead of time because if it wasn't \"fit to eat\" she was going to throw it out and make her own. Her tremor is so bad now, it is painful to watch her try to do the things we take for granted…beating egg whites, stirring filling as it cooks, rolling out crust. As I held the pan for her and she scraped the hot lemon filling into her crusts, she said \"Well, this is my Waterloo. I may make pies for family, but these are the last for the Sings.\" It hurt my heart a little to hear her recognize her limitations. She is such a proud woman. I told her that was just fine…she had done a good job all these years. Folks will understand. Still…passages. The endings that inevitably come. Those little steps…admissions…confessing the infirmities of age tug at your heart strings…whether they are from those you love or from your own lips. She is happy I am here. She was staring down the abyss…alone…as was I. We are two peas now, this wonderful, graceful, beautiful woman and I.

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We lead a simple life here. I practice mindfulness…something I am convinced my aunt has done all her life as did her mother and her mother before her. When I do dishes, sweep floors, haul brush, I focus on the moment. When I do dishes, I am doing dishes. I am feeling the texture of the scrubber beneath my fingers, the warmth of the water, the lemony scent of the bubbles. When I sweep the floors, my focus is on the sound the broom makes as it crosses over linoleum. As I haul brush, I feel the weight of the branches in my hands, the crunch of the leaves as I cross to the brush pile, the chill of the wind as it brushes my cheeks. This makes work a meditation. It keeps life simple. How can we be here if we are there? There is a rhythm here that it has taken me awhile to feel. I had to slow down and be still. The rhythm is deep, quiet, redolent with the smell of the leaves and the whispers of souls passed. It is a source of wealth no bank account could ever fill. It is the essence of love. <3

\n\n", "date_published": "2014-11-23T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/11/23/keeping-young-while-growing-old.html", "tags": ["West Virginia","Comfort","Aging","Choices","Farm Life"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/11/12/god-bless-this-trailer-home.html", "title": "God Bless This Trailer Home", "content_html": "

Look what came in the mail! Oh, my gosh…is this the cutest thing or what? Thank you, thank you, thank you Miss Vicky. You are the awesomest. Yesterday was the “Remembrance Day” for Vicky’s husband. He died 11/11 at 11am. She is a dear friend and my heart was so sad for her. RIP Rob… <3

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I’m another step closer to making my jewelry again. Some of you may not know my storage unit in Colorado was robbed before I moved here and my entire art studio and two footlockers full of power tools were stolen. I still have to settle with the insurance company but I needed to replace the main items so I could get some jewelry made. So, I went to Lowe’s to get what I need. I taught myself to make jewelry out of old silverware by trial and error. I came to find out there were easier ways of doing some things, but I couldn’t justify buying different tools. Since this is “starting out fresh”, I bought the perfect tools that will make my life easier. Can’t wait to get a studio set up and get to work!

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I stayed with a friend in town last night because we are going out to lunch today. As I write this at midnight, it has just begun to rain. Yesterday was glorious in the 70’s. The weather will start changing now and we could see snow by the weekend. Ick!

\n", "date_published": "2014-11-12T02:30:05-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/11/12/god-bless-this-trailer-home.html", "tags": ["TOW-Wanda!","Camping","West Virginia","The Farm","Comfort","Downsizing"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/11/11/the-country-kitchen.html", "title": "The Country Kitchen", "content_html": "

\"american “I love this American Folk Art piece I bought years ago in Colorado.”

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As I stand in my grandma’s kitchen, memories flood around me as thick as flies at a picnic. I stood at this counter on the old red kitchen stool, a feedsack apron, just my size, wrapped around my waste as I helped Grandma cook lunch for the field hands when the strawberries came on. She wouldn’t let me pick because I stepped on the runners and more got in my mouth than in my basket. She cooked lots of wonderful, wholesome foods fresh from the garden. We canned, pickled, dried, and preserved everything we could get our hands on or glean from the garden. When I’m washing dishes at the sink, I can hear the laughter filter down through the years when everyone gathered at Grandma’s table to break bread and count blessings. When I cook at her stove, I remember the way she took a couple of quarts of roast beef out of the cellar, dredged the chunks in flour, salt, and pepper and fried them in whatever fat was available. She never could make a gravy without lumps. That and pie crusts were the bane of her existence. She bragged about my pies and bread when I came home for visits. That was her way of asking me to bake for her.

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She always made me a special apple pie when I came home. A single crust, folded over like a turnover with very little apple filling because she understood my love for the crispy, slightly salty pastry. One year she walked slower to the kitchen. Her bent and worn hands slowly worked over the dough and she painfully pared the apples. It was the first time I really noticed her aging. She finished the pie, set it out to cool and watched with delight as I dug in. She caught my eye and I put my fork down, waiting for what I knew in my heart would come some day.

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“Eat that slow, pet…and enjoy it. It’s the last one I can make. Grandma’s old hands just don’t work like they used to.”

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We sat in silence for a bit, each contemplating the weight of her words. Me in my prime. She in her final years. I ate my pie slowly, savoring each wonderful bite, knowing it would be my last. Understanding the gift…the many gifts she gave me. Loving her for being mine. Hating Father Time.

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She would have loved this sign that I brought from my own kitchen in Colorado. The privilege of living on her farm is not lost on me and I will relish every moment I can be here. <3

\n", "date_published": "2014-11-11T02:30:19-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/11/11/the-country-kitchen.html", "tags": ["Family","West Virginia","The Farm","Gratitude","Comfort"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/11/07/a-special-request.html", "title": "A Special Request", "content_html": "

\"we “We Rise by Lifting Others!”

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Twenty-two months ago, I started this blog and when the unthinkable happened, it became a grief journal. Unlike a journal kept by the bedside, mine has gone out to tens of thousands of people with the hope that it touches those suffering losses of their own. That it may be of some source of comfort to let others know they aren’t alone on their path through the barren landscape of grief. I have met some of you in person. I have conversed with some of you in a private chat. And even though I don’t KNOW you all, I feel as though I am surrounded by loving friends. You have sent me countless words of encouragement. You have no idea how much your support and prayers have helped me get through a terribly scary part of life and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

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I knew with the numbers rising in our little “family” here on Marshmallow Ranch, it was only a matter of time when one of our own would need us to support her. That time came last evening when Gloria sent me a private message. She gave me permission to use her first name. She has been doctoring a sore back for awhile and when it did not improve, they did an MRI and found a mass. Unfortunately, she has been diagnosed with ovarian cancer. They will jump right on this and get treatment started right away. She is trying to be brave for her six children. She lost her husband and they are so afraid of losing her, too.

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If I may ask this of you, please lift Gloria and her family up in prayer that she can beat this cancer. If you aren’t a prayerful person, please send loving light and good energy. We are all so small and scared when something like this happens. Let’s show Gloria our love and support! Thank you.

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Ginny <3

\n", "date_published": "2014-11-07T02:30:24-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/11/07/a-special-request.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Gratitude","Comfort","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/11/05/dream-a-little-dream-of.html", "title": "Dream a Little Dream of Me", "content_html": "

\"dream “When loved ones come to you in a dream…”

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How many of you have dreamt of a lost loved one? Was it comforting or did it just make you sad? I’ve only had a couple of dreams of Mr. Virgo since he died. Both times I woke up feeling as though he was right there within my reach. The dreams were SO real. I was laying with my head on his shoulder and I could smell his cologne…hear his breathing…feel his heartbeat. I wish I could dream intentionally.

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Mr. Virgo and I would kiss goodnight and I’d say “Meet you at the cabin.” We both had this image of the perfect mountain getaway. We had described it to one another so many times, it seemed like a real place. So we would say goodnight and promise to meet each other in our dreams at the cabin. We never did, but it was so sweet to end the day with that image and hope. There have been countless nights I have whispered…asking him to meet me at the cabin. To come see me in my dreams. It doesn’t work that way. Pity, really.

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Imagine if you could. Wouldn’t it be comforting? Wouldn’t it be lovely to visit knowing you could do it again and again just by wishing it so? Part of me would love it. However, I would hate the waking up to find it was only a dream…the reality hitting me over and over that he is indeed gone. But…he’s only a heartbeat away. And we will meet again someday.

\n", "date_published": "2014-11-05T02:30:56-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/11/05/dream-a-little-dream-of.html", "tags": ["Family","Grief","Hope","Comfort","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/11/01/beauty-is-in-the-eye.html", "title": "Beauty is in the eye...", "content_html": "

\"aging “We Were Young and Beautiful…Now We Are Just Beautiful!”

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A couple of nights ago, my aunt and I sat on the sofa side by side and called my cousin to FaceTime and watched to little ones Trick or Treat. She is enamored with the marvelous technology of the iPad and the internet. We were waiting for my cousin to call back and I was showing her what they will see when we connect. She frowned a bit and said “Oh my! I look a hundred years old!” Then I quoted this caption to her. I looked at the two of us on camera. We are 21 years apart, she and I…exactly the difference in age between me and my firstborn. I look at her beauty and her strength and hope I have half her qualities when it’s my turn to be 82. She is a no nonsense woman. She is educated, erudite, lithe, and witty. There was a time when she and I butted heads. We are both strong willed and independent. We have both mellowed with age and loss. And we are both beautiful.

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As is wont to happen on special anniversaries, I had some tearful moments yesterday. It was nine years ago that Mr. Virgo walked in and stole my heart. I needed to do something special to commemorate the day. I met my high school girlfriends for coffee then went to the new farm supply store to stock up on birdseed for the winter. I got my hair cut then went to the mall. Mr. Virgo and I were particularly fond of Christmas ornaments made by Ne’Qua. They are glass and hand painted on the inside. We bought one every year we were together. Last year I bought my first one alone. The Hallmark shop in the mall carries Ne’Qua ornaments so I took my time looking at each one…tracing their curves gently with my finger…allowing them to pull me back to the vacations Mr. Virgo and I took. We always bought our Christmas ornaments on vacation so we could relive our travels when we decorated the tree together. After some time, I settled on the perfect ornament. A small one with a male and female cardinal. West Virginia’s state bird. An appropriate commemoration all the way around. Mr. Virgo would be pleased with the choice, I’m sure.

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It is important to have rituals. Continuing rituals that you shared with your loved ones maybe difficult at first. Maybe you need to change the way you do it. But rituals can keep your connection to your loved one alive and that is important to some people in their grief process. I was distressed early on in my grief process when certain memories began to fade. I later learned it’s a common effect of grieving to lesson the acute pain of the loss. The memories came back with time. Now I have another sweet memory for when I decorate our tree this winter. <3

\n", "date_published": "2014-11-01T01:30:53-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/11/01/beauty-is-in-the-eye.html", "tags": ["Family","Fun","The Farm","Comfort","Holiday","Aging"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/10/30/the-wellseasoned-skillet.html", "title": "The Well-Seasoned Skillet", "content_html": "

\"iron “A well-seasoned skillet is a joy to behold!”

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When I was growing up, my grandma filled her skillets with soapy water and set them to simmer on the stove while we did the dishes so that’s how I thought you were supposed to wash them. I gave up on cast iron cooking a long time ago because my pans were always rusty and pitted. Then Mr. Virgo, the trained chef, came along and taught me how to turn an old rusty iron skillet into a thing of beauty. There are two rules….season the pan correctly and NEVER let it anywhere near water!

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This skillet is one I bought at a second hand or antique store…I can’t remember where or when. Mr. Virgo loved fried chicken and this was nice and deep…perfect for frying. It was a gosh-awful mess when I brought it home. I followed his directions. First, I had to get the rust out. Using fine steel wool, I rubbed the pan till it was clean, bare metal. (If it’s more rust than this can handle, you might have to take it to a machine shop and have it sandblasted.) Now, this is the only time it’s ok to get this thing wet. Wash the skillet thoroughly with warm water and mild dish soap and scrub it really well with a bristle brush or a plastic scrubby. Dry the skillet immediately and swipe it all over with a thin coating of vegetable oil. Don’t use too much or your coating will be sticky. Pop your skillet upside down on the top rack of your oven. (You can put a cookie sheet or foil on the rack below in case you get any oil drips.) Heat the skillet for an hour at 350 degrees. At the end of the hour, turn off your oven, leave it closed, and take your skillet out in the morning when it’s cool.

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This skillet has a perfect season on it. I never, ever wash it. I baked corn bread in it yesterday to go with the soup beans and smoked ham hocks. While I was mixing up my batter, I had the skillet in a 400 degree oven with a couple tablespoons of bacon grease. By the time the batter was made, and rested for a few minutes to raise a bit, the skillet was hot. I poured the batter in. It should sizzle slightly but not put up a huge fuss. Bake as per directions watching closely because dark pans cook a bit faster. You do need to run a spatula under your cornbread before you tip it out on a plate or cake rack because the center will want to stick. Don’t cut your cornbread while it’s in the skillet unless you use Teflon utensils. You don’t want to scratch that pretty surface. Before you take your crispy crusted, golden cornbread to the table, use a nonstick spatula and scrape anything adhering to the surface. Remember, NO WATER. Once supper is over, use a paper towel to scrub the inside of your skillet. If it doesn’t want to come clean, use oil on the paper towel. If you’ve seasoned it right, it should come clean with just a wipe down. Store your skillets with paper towels or newspaper between them if you have to stack them. Store them in a clean, DRY cupboard. And, don’t worry…if rust shows up, you can always season it again.

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Iron cookware is often handed down through the generations. I have my mom’s, one of my grandma’s, and some of my own I have collected along the way. This one is by far my favorite. Oh, a word of caution…some people say it’s ok to cook acidic foods like spaghetti sauce in a very well seasoned skillet, but my rule of thumb is to never let tomatoes anywhere near my cast iron. The acid can strip the seasoning and give the food a funky, metallic taste.

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So, there you have the tutorial on the well-seasoned skillet. Treat your cast iron well and it will serve for generations to come. Old cast iron is collectible, but only if it has been well cared for. Now, I’ll tell you a story. (You knew THAT was coming, didn’t you?)

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My mom came home to the farm for the weekend when she was a young, single, working woman. My Uncle Sonny had been out “frog giggin’” the night before and was about to fry himself up a big pan of frog legs. Mom had never seen the process, and while she was revolted by the idea of devouring amphibian appendages, her curiosity got the better of her. She came into the kitchen just as my uncle dropped said frog legs into the iron skillet. Well, the legs started jumping and jerking with the heat and my Mom screamed, grabbed the skillet, ran out the door, and threw the whole mess in the creek…then sat down and cried. Uncle Sonny was mad at first to lose his hard earned delicacies, but he couldn’t help laughing at my poor mom, which upset her even further. Finally, Grandma came outside to see what all the ruckus was about. Uncle Sonny told her what Mom did and Grandma made her go down over the creek bank and fetch back her good iron skillet, which made Uncle Sonny laugh harder, and made Mom mad. But she went and got it, and as far as I know, refused to ever, knowingly, eat anything from that skillet…ever again! <3

\n", "date_published": "2014-10-30T01:30:29-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/10/30/the-wellseasoned-skillet.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","West Virginia","The Farm","Comfort","Downsizing","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/10/27/the-auction.html", "title": "The Auction", "content_html": "

\"green “My Green and White Quilt”

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I cannot pass up a good quilt. Well, ok….I COULD pass up a good quilt. And sometimes I CAN pass up a good quilt, but yesterday was not that day. Oh, this one is so pretty! I love two color quilts and this is beautifully hand-pieced and hand-quilted with remarkable feathered wreath medallions in the white squares. It’s a double, it only has a couple of tiny stains along one edge and no wear. AND…I got it for $75! Oh, I love a good quilt, and a good auction, and a good bargain!

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When I was a little girl, my grandma had a quilt frame and I remember her and some neighbor women sitting around it here in the dining room, quilting and talking, and laughing. That must have been such a luxury to the farm women of those days…to sit together and stitch awhile and talk. Grandma would make me wash my hands and would thread the needle for me and guide my little hands to make the stitches. She used to tell me as an adult that she couldn’t stitch a straight line and she finally gave up and tied all of her quilts. I don’t know that there are any of hers left as her quilts were utilitarian and made to be used till they fell apart. I do have one blanket that’s on my bed in the trailer that she sewed a binding onto pre-quilted fabric and gave to me. I have the apron she made for me when I was little and would help her make lunch for the workers when the strawberries were being picked for market. I also have two pillow covers she made. I left her treadle sewing machine in Denver for my daughter to leave to her daughters. I love the circle of life. The continuity of stories, skills, family.

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My uncle and aunt came yesterday. He is patching the roof and installing a gas heating stove for us. I bought a small barrel shaped coin bank at the auction yesterday and he was enamored with it. It presented the same puzzle to him as it did to me which prompted me to buy it. It was a giveaway from Union National Bank of Sistersville, WV. And…it is locked. And…there is no key. It’s full of coins. And there’s folding money that you can see through the coin slot. But we can’t get into it. He tried to make a key but didn’t have the proper tools here so he’s going to make a key at home and send it to me. I love a mystery! There could be really great coins and a hundred dollar bill in it. Or there could be a dollar bill and a couple bucks in change. The only difference is the story! And you know me well….the only thing I love more than a mystery is a really great story! <3

\n", "date_published": "2014-10-27T01:30:49-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/10/27/the-auction.html", "tags": ["Fun","The Farm","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/10/06/the-hazards-of-packing.html", "title": "The Hazards of Packing", "content_html": "

\"women's “I packed all my winter clothes!”

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If you remember correctly, my first contract on the house was to close on 9/11. I, in my ever positive, enthusiastic, optimistic way was absolutely convinced that would happen so, what did I do? Why, I packed all my winter clothes and shipped them off to WV, of course! And then the whole deal fell apart and we didn’t close till the 24th. Well…that’s cool. I’d still get to WV in plenty of time before I needed winter clothes, right? Ummmm…not so much. I drove to Denver last Wednesday in the snow, wearing the only winter clothes I had left…a sweater, a pair of leggings, and my black cowgirl boots. Chic, for sure, but not very practical. So, I stopped at the factory outlet stores on my way through Silverthorne and just picked up a few things. At least now there’s a little variety.

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I took my second father-in- law out for breakfast yesterday. Bernie is a total hoot. He will be 90 in December and he really wants me to come back for his birthday party so I suppose I’ll be back in CO then. He has no governor between his brain and his mouth and he’s extremely hard of hearing. This made for some interesting general announcements to the entire restaurant regarding certain bodily functions. Like I said, Bernie’s a hoot! ;-)

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I came back from Denver yesterday and it was a gorgeous drive. There’s still plenty of color on the aspens and it was a blue blaster day. I visited my brother and some friends and went to soak in the hot springs pool for the last time for awhile. I had dinner with my former neighbors. Then I came over to my brother-friend’s house. I gave him the painting I did for him and then I sat and listened to him practice the trombone for the upcoming symphony performance. He’s first chair…I’m so proud of him!

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Greg and I were on the HOA Board together shortly after I bought my house in 2001. We were at a board meeting and they were setting up the schedule. I spoke up to say I would not be attending the next meeting because I’d be in WV. Greg looked at me funny and the meeting continued. He came up to me later to ask why I would be in WV. I explained I was born there and would be visiting family. Turns out, Greg and I were born at the same hospital, delivered by the same doctor, and his grandfather was superintendent of my school district when I was growing up! It is such a small world. We bonded immediately and he became my little brother for life. He’s always been there for me and I adore him. We will miss each other terribly. Greg is that friend you can call in the middle of the night. He once got up to come over and sit in the trailer with me till dawn because I couldn’t stand to sleep in my bed. He’s awesome!

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I’m going to the local Ford dealership today to trade in the Expedition for an F-150 and then…hopefully…I can pick up my trailer. I’m ever hopeful…but this extra week has been perfect!

\n", "date_published": "2014-10-06T01:30:37-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/10/06/the-hazards-of-packing.html", "tags": ["Colorado","Family","Comfort","Downsizing"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/09/30/patience.html", "title": "Patience", "content_html": "

\"gift “The Gift”

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Yesterday was a cold and rainy day. When I say cold, it was predicted to get down to 37 degrees. That’s getting too cold for me! If my house would have closed with the original contract, I would have been in WV and settled by now. But everything happens for a reason. The second contract was better, smoother, and with wonderful people. My neighbors feel like they’ve won the lottery! And, I think they have!

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I was hoping the part that is needed for the trailer could be shipped overnight. Apparently it couldn’t…at least not this night. I will have to say, the people at the dealership where I bought this trailer have been on the phone several times today, trying to get this fixed. Hopefully they will get the part in Wednesday and I can be on my way. Remember what I said about everything happening for a reason? With this colder weather here today, there is snow in the high country and I might have been trying to drive through it today or tomorrow. The weather is supposed to warm up by Wednesday and Thursday. Much better for traveling.

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So, this is what I’m taking away from the situation. I’m supposed to take advantage of the next couple of days and rest, write, read, sleep, fiddle with where I want things in the trailer and organize it even better, try out the oven, cook on the stovetop, go into town and get a massage, visit with more friends, and….did I say rest? Ah, yes…this is not an inconvenience…this is a gift!

\n", "date_published": "2014-09-30T01:30:38-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/09/30/patience.html", "tags": ["Gratitude","Comfort","Grace"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/09/15/labels.html", "title": "Labels", "content_html": "

\"label “Labels”

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For a long time I was in search of a label. When I was in high school, I wanted to be “popular”. When I was a young wife and mother, I wanted to be “perfect”. When I was struggling with the mental health issues of depression, I wanted a “diagnosis”. I needed a compartment…a box that I could easily fit into that would define who I was because I had no clue.

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Years later, when I was well and happily remarried, I realized I didn’t need any labels…that I was “free to be”. I learned who I was and while I was happily “Christian”, “wife”, “mother”, etc. I no longer needed, nor desired, someone else’s definition of ME. And then it was gone in a flash. With Mr. Virgo’s death came a label I didn’t ask for and I certainly didn’t want.

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“Widow”. I became a widow. I sat with it in my lap for a while, holding it like an ill-fitting hand-me-down that didn’t suit me but I didn’t want to offend my benefactor by rejecting it outright. I mean, I was supposed to wear it, right? For awhile, I certainly felt the effects. In the acute phase, I was inconsolable. Then I was angry, withdrawn, crazy, desperate, lonely, lost, euphoric…up, down, in, out. It was mayhem. But it always led me back to what to do with this label.

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When I was in therapy (and believe me, I was “in therapy” for a while when my second marriage had tanked) I walked into my psychiatrist’s office after having read the umpteenth self-help book on the mental illness du jour. I sat there and ran off the list of symptoms I had read about in that particular book and proposed that maybe THAT was what was wrong with me. I was still in search of the label because if I had a label, maybe I could fix it. I remember clearly…he sat back in his chair, tented his fingers, pursed his lips, and said, “You know, Ginny…at some point you’re just going to have to go out there and live your life.” I sat there in stunned silence, digesting these words. This invitation to freedom. In a very short time, I dropped out of my chosen career field of “victim/patient” and moved on to bigger and better things.

\n

Dealing with this label of “widow” is feeling much like that tipping point in the psychiatrist’s office. I am finding it much more joyful to wear “happy”, “free”, “artist”, “traveler”, “writer”, “bohemian”. Trust me…I’m fully aware that my husband died, but that no longer defines who I am. HE died. I didn’t. I know that sounds heartless…blunt…but it’s true. I can wring every drop from this juicy life I’ve been given and still give Mr. Virgo the proper respect. And I can live life with joyous abandon. Without self-imposed guilt. My great grandfather used to say “It’ll stop hurting when the pain goes away.” I never understood that till now. Now that the pain is starting to subside. <3

\n", "date_published": "2014-09-15T01:30:12-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/09/15/labels.html", "tags": ["Growth","Comfort","Courage","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/09/12/navigation.html", "title": "Navigation", "content_html": "

\"guardian “I have a feeling my guardian angel looks like this often.”

\n

Given that I will be traveling cross-country in less than a month, I felt it was prudent to take advantage of the $50 off coupon for the map and software update for my nav system in my Ford. I dutifully paid for, and quickly received the DVD’s to plug into my system. I read the instructions, following the onscreen prompts carefully. Nowhere did they say it would take the better part of TWO HOURS to update this crazy thing! And…it distinctly says, “Do not turn off your engine while updating.” I used up an 1/8th of a tank of gas while contributing much more carbon to the ozone layer than I am comfortable with. (Ok, I drive a Ford Expedition. I guess I’m TOO comfortable…I get, like, 6 gallons to the mile or something like that when I’m hauling TOW-Wanda.)

\n

I’m considering trading in TOW-Wanda for a larger model. When I get to WV, I will still be much more comfortable sleeping in my trailer than in a house…at least till things get to the point that my aunt needs me during the night. TOW-Wanda is darling, and I love her, but that bathroom is just a little too tight. And there’s no seating inside except for the bed. A lot of the trailers now have these great slide outs which gives you so much more floor space and are quite comfortable. This is the time of year to buy because everything is on clearance and I can get a lot for my money. I’m wondering though…if I trade in the middle states like Kansas, Missouri, or Indiana if I would get a better deal? Any input on this?

\n

Today is my sweet brother, Gary’s, 63rd birthday. Happy Birthday, bubby!!!

\n", "date_published": "2014-09-12T01:30:44-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/09/12/navigation.html", "tags": ["Family","Comfort","Downsizing"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/09/03/mr-virgos-bluebirds.html", "title": "Mr. Virgo's Bluebirds", "content_html": "

\"bluebird\" “Mr. Virgo sends me bluebirds. First, at his grave. Then…everywhere!”

\n

I was sitting at the cemetery yesterday morning enjoying my morning coffee and having breakfast with Mr. Virgo. It was a perfect Colorado blue blaster day…not a cloud in the sky. I was reminded of a time last year when I came here. I was sitting in the car beside his grave, crying my eyes out. I felt so alone and asked God and Mr. Virgo to send me a sign every time I come so I know they’re out there watching over me. I don’t know if Mr. Virgo sees me, but I do know God does. As soon as I made my request, I heard a bird singing close by. I turned and there was a bluebird sitting on the post right beside me singing away and looking at me, cocking it’s head this way and that. Now every time I go to the cemetery, at least one bluebird comes to this post and sings to me. Yesterday, for about five minutes, there were several of them all around me. I sat there with the door open and they even came and sat on the door and the rear view mirror! And see who came to sit on my post? It was so beautiful. And just as fast as they came, they were gone. I always feel closer to Mr. Virgo when they are nearby. Now, the true test will be if they come to see me in WV. Or maybe I won’t need them as much. We can’t test God like the fleece in the Bible. But I love, love, love it when He shows me He is there. It is always personal. <3

\n", "date_published": "2014-09-03T01:30:06-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/09/03/mr-virgos-bluebirds.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Comfort","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/08/30/chaos.html", "title": "Chaos!", "content_html": "

\"deepak “All great changes are preceded by chaos.” Deepak Chopra

\n

And….we’ve got another contract!

\n

I think this one is a winner! A young couple with a brand new baby born one week ago put a contract on the house yesterday. A little more money than the other offer but that didn’t seem to be the bottom line in this transaction.

\n

I got the offer first thing in the morning. My initial instinct was to counteroffer…again. But I forced myself to sit still and feel what I was feeling in my bones and ask myself some important questions. Which would feel better….asking for more money or being grateful a lovely young family would live in my house? If they couldn’t afford more money and they walked, how would that make me feel if I had to sit and wait several months on another buyer? Was that little bit more really worth it in the long run? If I resorted to renting it again, am I willing to run the risk of damages to the house and lawn? Am I willing to worry whether the renters would pay the rent? What if there was a major repair or appliance that needed replacing? Where would that extra money come from? When it comes down to it, my initial investment in this house grew substantially bigger than it would have in some other investments I could have made. And…it’s not all about the money and it’s not all about me. This young family is thrilled they’re getting this house to raise their baby in. My next door neighbors are thrilled because they had a new baby a couple of weeks before my buyers and there will be playmates and new friendships to be made.

\n

Yes, this is a win-win-win situation and I am totally at peace with this decision. I feel in my heart I have done the right thing. And that’s something no amount of money can buy! <3

\n", "date_published": "2014-08-30T01:30:30-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/08/30/chaos.html", "tags": ["Comfort","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/08/20/perfect.html", "title": "Perfect", "content_html": "

\"perfect “Being someone’s first love may be great, bot to be their last is beyond perfect.”

\n

People have asked me if I’m worried about Mr. Virgo’s grave being here and me being in West Virginia. I’m really not. I have a lock of his hair and I’m going to find a special place on the farm to bury it in my own private ceremony. I’ll place a marker of some sort and I can go there to talk to him. But, in all honesty, he’s not at either place. He’s in Heaven. And he’s in the hearts of those who knew and loved him and remember him. He is always with me, even though I no longer feel his presence like I did in the months after he died.

\n

I had to have a talk with him during the winter. I have a security system installed in the house. There’s a motion detector in the living room. I went to Denver one weekend and the motion detector went off sending alarms to my phone. Pretty soon, the alarm company called and asked if everything was ok. I told them I didn’t know because I was out of town. They sent a police officer out to check and everything was fine. The next time I went to Denver , the same thing happened. Now, Mr. Virgo would never have said I couldn’t go away without him, but I was certainly aware he didn’t like it. This last alarm sent me a text every three seconds till I went online and made it stop. When I got back home, I sat down in the living room and told him, “Ok. That was really cute how you manipulated the burglar alarm there, sweetheart. You are very clever and it’s so cool to know you’re still here and still have your wicked sense of humor. But, you’ve got to cut this out. For one thing, it scares me. For another, it’s not just me your are bothering… It’s the alarm company and the police and possibly the neighbors. So , honey…cut it out, ok? Find some other way to let me know you’re around.” I never had an alarm after that. :-)

\n

When we fall in love, and a commitment is made, we have no reason to believe it won’t be forever. We take vows to be there till death. But it doesn’t always work that way. Life gets complicated and people change and things don’t always work out the way we planned. Divorce has it’s own kind of grief. When it happened the first time, I was the instigator which changes your perspective and the pain involved. The second was not my idea and it was horrible. I grieved and mourned for close to four years and the pain was exquisite. When Mr. Virgo came along and renewed my faith in love, and in men, he proposed by telling me he wanted to spend every day of the rest of his life with me. In my grief after losing him, I was bereft. I felt as though some major part of me had been amputated. It was devastating. In my Pollyanna-ish fashion, I got to the point where I needed to look for silver linings. I was sitting by the river one day when it occurred to me. “I was his last love. He spent every day of the rest of his life with me!” It made me smile that I could love this man well as he lived the last years of his life. What a gift we were given. What a responsibility to care for and protect that precious gift God gave us. We did it well and that gives me peace.

\n", "date_published": "2014-08-20T01:30:19-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/08/20/perfect.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/08/18/mom.html", "title": "Mom", "content_html": "

\"\" “I miss my mommy.”

\n

I miss my mom. I wish she was here to give me a hug in her mommy way. I am purging stuff and came across this darling little piece of childhood art. I must have been about 7 or 8 when I drew this. <3

\n", "date_published": "2014-08-18T01:30:57-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/08/18/mom.html", "tags": ["Family","Comfort","Downsizing"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/08/04/a-simple-life.html", "title": "A Simple Life", "content_html": "

\"simple “A Simple Life”

\n

I’m back! Here it is, August 4th already…can you believe it? Those three weeks literally flew by. I’ve missed you all even though I did peek in from time to time. And I am rested, refreshed and rearing to go!

\n

I’m still snuggled up in bed, preparing my mind for the onslaught of civilization. I’m listening to the morning call of a whip-poor-will knowing full well in a few hours I’ll be hustling through busy international airports. I’m not looking forward to it…and I LOVE to fly. I want to pour a cup of coffee and go out on the front porch, the familiar stretchy squeak of the screen door spring the only sound louder than the morning birdsong. I want to see old Mama Kitty curled up in the corner, one eye opened slightly in protest over the crude interruption of her peaceful slumber. I want to listen to whip-poor-wills every day for the rest of my life.

\n

I need to head to Colorado. I need to settle some business. I need to snuggle my babies and spoil them a little bit. I need to do the really big purge and get rid of the things in life that weigh me down. I am so grateful to my son-in-law’s mom for sitting me down and telling me to look at what I want my life to look like and make it that. I will miss my kids and grandkids and my Colorado family like crazy, and I will travel to see them as often as I can. But I also know I need to live where my heart sings…where I can stretch out and be free…where I can own a piece of God’s country. It’s time to go home.

\n

Money will only stretch so far. When you have x-amount of dollars to spend on housing and you have a choice of a repossessed HUD home in a dicey neighborhood or a hundred acre farm, tell me…where would you go? What are you willing to let go of in order to set your heart free and give it wings? How far are you willing to fly?

\n", "date_published": "2014-08-04T01:30:07-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/08/04/a-simple-life.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Positive Energy","West Virginia","The Farm","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","Peace","Presence","Downsizing","Choices","The Cats"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/08/01/mister-bee-potato-chips.html", "title": "Mister Bee Potato Chips", "content_html": "

\"mr. “Mr. Bee Potato Chips”

\n

You know those special foods you can only get at “home”? Well, ours are pepperoni rolls, Ruben’s Deli Hot Italian Hoagies, and Mister Bee Potato Chips. My sister/friend Patty in Florida has put in a special request for some Mister Bee’s so off they went in the mail today. While I was at it, I just went ahead and shipped some back to Colorado for the kids…and my brother/friend Greg…and my brother Gary…and, ummmmmmm…ME! :-) I’m going to be somebody’s best friend come Monday!

\n

I can’t believe I fly back to Colorado on Monday. :-( This has gone all too quickly. The only consolation is….I get to see my girls AND it won’t be long till that house sells and I can come back!

\n

Here are some more WV photos!

\n

\"west “West Virginia Cousins!”

\n

\"\" \"\" \"\"

\n", "date_published": "2014-08-01T01:30:45-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/08/01/mister-bee-potato-chips.html", "tags": ["Family","Travel","West Virginia","The Farm","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Peace","Downsizing"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/07/21/pendleton-county.html", "title": "Pendleton County", "content_html": "

\"pendleton “My Morning View of Pendleton County, WV”

\n

My view with coffee this morning. What an amazing place. I’m over in Pendleton County, WV with my cousin and her family. I had a passel of dogs and grandbabies and family and friends in and out all day and it’s just a hoot and a half! There’s never a dull moment here and I love it! <3

\n", "date_published": "2014-07-21T01:30:52-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/07/21/pendleton-county.html", "tags": ["Family","West Virginia","Gratitude","Comfort"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/07/16/greetings-from-wild-wonderful-west.html", "title": "Greetings from Wild, Wonderful West Virginia!!!", "content_html": "

\"writing “Writing with a View!”

\n

Just popping in to say hello and PROVE to you all that I am writing my book! I have a goal set before me to have the rough draft sent by the first of next week. 74,000 words at this point. My daughter always said I could talk to a tree!

\n", "date_published": "2014-07-16T01:30:41-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/07/16/greetings-from-wild-wonderful-west.html", "tags": ["West Virginia","Comfort","Writing"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/07/14/home.html", "title": "Home!", "content_html": "

\"my “Home”

\n

I came in to town to go to the grocery for my aunt so I’m checking in. This is “home”….my heart and soul lives here. Just wanted you all to know I arrived safely! Thank you for all your love, support and encouragement. \"\"<3

\n", "date_published": "2014-07-14T01:30:41-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/07/14/home.html", "tags": ["Family","West Virginia","Comfort"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/07/08/widows-helping-widows.html", "title": "Widows Helping Widows", "content_html": "

\"it's “It’s ok to not be ok. Just don’t give up.”

\n

A couple of months ago, I joined a Facebook page for widows. It is a closed page so it is a safe place to go when you wish to articulate something that you don’t necessarily want plastered all over FB. In some instances I find it to be very helpful with many wonderful women offering support. But many times I read what’s there and it makes me feel like I’m on a slippery slope and I just can’t quite get out of harm’s way in time. I feel so bad for these women who are struggling so much. I offer words of support and encouragement. I offer prayers of tender mercy. But I’m almost at the point of calling it quits on that site because it takes me to a place I don’t want to go anymore.

\n

I’m not insensitive. I know everyone experiences grief differently. And it’s not that I lack patience or empathy. I just don’t like feeling stuck and that’s what I often am left with after reading the posts. I don’t think I have my head in the sand. I’m pretty straightforward when discussing the often sensitive road of grief and loss. It makes me wonder how you all have put up with my ramblings over the last 16 months. I try to be the eternal optimist and not bring everyone else down to the depths of despair that often hangs over you on this journey while still being blatantly honest about what it’s like.

\n

My “Pollyanna” personality (as Mr. Virgo called it) keeps me up most of the time. I totally accept that it’s OK to not be OK. And, I never, ever give up. If I ever tell you “I give up” then it’s time to worry about me. There have been moments when I questioned my sanity. There were times when I honestly had no idea what I was doing. But I get up every morning and put one foot in front of the other and do my best and try to express to you what it feels like. That’s all anyone can ask for.

\n

I am not saying I’m doing better than those women in that Widows Group. I question why, or how, I seem to be doing so well. And I ask myself, could it be because I only had my Mr. Virgo for seven and a half years? Most of the women on that FB page have been married for decades. A lot of them are very young and have been left with small children and little to no resources. It breaks my heart.

\n

Anyway…maybe sometime down the road I will be able to help these women more. But, for now, my own heart is getting stronger and healing and I can’t mess that up, no matter how much I want to help the women in that group. I have a friend who is a widow at the seven year mark and works as a grief counselor. I love her strength, sensitivity, and ability to just listen. She is amazing and is a wonderful role model.

\n

Just remember…it’s ok. You’re going to be ok again. You’re going to learn to breathe again. Just don’t give up.

\n", "date_published": "2014-07-08T01:30:11-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/07/08/widows-helping-widows.html", "tags": ["Comfort","Courage","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/07/01/contemplation.html", "title": "Contemplation", "content_html": "

\"conservatory\" “Conservatory”

\n

I took the whole day to myself yesterday. I still was feeling under the weather so I spent the day resting and napping and dreaming of tiny home designs. This structure is actually a conservatory. What do you think? Do you think it could be converted into a tiny home?

\n", "date_published": "2014-07-01T01:30:23-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/07/01/contemplation.html", "tags": ["Grief","Comfort","Courage","Downsizing","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/06/22/laughter-is-the-best-medicine.html", "title": "Laughter IS the best medicine!", "content_html": "

\"irish “Laughter really IS the best medicine!”

\n

I am blessed to have good friends who really enjoy making me laugh. Whenever I feel I’m painting myself into a corner, I know I can call these people up…anytime, day or night. The stress of life just melts away. Last night it was watching “When Harry Met Sally” and laughing our butts off even though we had seen the movie many times. Thursday it was a day spent with a dear friend browsing shops and eating our way through two towns. Tonight it was a phone call with my buddy in Florida and laughing about everything whether it was funny or not…simply for the joy of hearing the laughter of the other.

\n

A couple of days after Mr. Virgo died, I went to Target and bought every funny movie I could find in the bargain bin. I knew I was going to need laughter as much as I was going to need tears. Laughter releases endorphins…natures opiates. Those “feel good” hormones that make any pill easier to swallow. They create a sense of euphoria when taken in large doses. They’re “good for what ails ya”, as my grandma used to say. I’ve been blessed with an oversized funny bone. I’ve been known to entertain myself when I can’t sleep by writing stand-up comedy routines instead of counting sheep. Laughter has carried me through my darkest days, and it will continue to do so.

\n

I hope you laugh at the little things, the absurdities of life, the slapstick antics of the people surrounding you. We all deserve to feel good…and make others feel good. Here’s to laughter!

\n", "date_published": "2014-06-22T01:30:43-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/06/22/laughter-is-the-best-medicine.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Positive Energy","Fun","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/06/10/breathe.html", "title": "Breathe", "content_html": "

\"feather “Breathe”

\n

The thought that my love was once in a lifetime paralyzed me. It made me so sad to think I could never have that again. Then I remembered….I didn’t pass the clairvoyance test and I have no earthly idea what the future holds for me. Am I destined to be alone and sad and lonely and miserable for the rest of my life? Heck no. I am destined to remind myself that my HUSBAND died…I didn’t. I have an obligation here…I OWE it to him to live those days of life that he was deprived of. I owe it to my children and my grandchildren to go out and do something with my life and show them how to be a widow because someday it may be them and I want them to be prepared. And I owe it to myself to live every day of my life. Actually LIVE it…and I can’t do that if I look backwards all the time. Do I miss my man? Hell yes! Would I give my right arm to have him back? You bet your sweet patootie! But that ain’t gonna happen so I’m makin’ lemonade here as fast as I can. Everyone’s grief is different. I honor that. My heart goes out to anyone going through this because it’s the suckiest thing I have ever done and I am sure it is for everyone else. My life, my future is in God’s hands but I’ll be darned if I’m just going sit and cry every day for what’s left of it! Feeling determined!

\n", "date_published": "2014-06-10T01:30:01-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/06/10/breathe.html", "tags": ["Grief","Comfort","Fear","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/06/09/a-day-of-rest.html", "title": "A Day of Rest", "content_html": "

\"little “I’ve loved to fish since I was knew high to a grasshopper!”

\n

I’ve been burning the candle at both ends lately. Saturday night, I was feeling pretty sorry for myself. I was hot, dirty and exhausted. My feet were killing me and I was feeling overwhelmed. So I did what I usually do. I called a buddy up and he made me laugh hard about some ridiculous thing. Then I texted back and forth for awhile with a couple of my gal pals. Around 8 o’clock, my brother/friend Greg called and said those three little words every woman wants to hear…“I’ll make dinner!” Yes! I went over right away (we live a few blocks apart). We laughed and caught up with each other’s lives. He cooked and let me ramble on about all the packing and purging I’ve been doing. He gave me Aleve for my sore foot and ice to press into the sore places. He rubbed my shoulders then he did the best thing any friend can let a widow do. He let me lean back against him on the couch while I talked about my loss and the changes I am bringing into my life in the coming months. He is as much a brother to me as my own and I felt so much better when I went home.

\n

I got up yesterday morning and went to church. The rain held off till I was in the grocery store. I came home, took a hot bath, and then a nap. That was exactly what I needed.

\n

The day was also productive. I sold a primitive cabinet and a car. But I didn’t pack. I didn’t carry boxes. I sorted a few pictures but that was it. Then I ate ice cream. Yes…it was a good day!

\n

This picture was taken exactly 57 years ago. My grandma had an old bamboo fishing pole and she took me out on the bridge over the little “crick” beside the house to teach me how to fish. She instilled a love of all things country in me. Even though I have always lived in towns and cities, in my heart there lives a farm girl. Even though I have lived with money, there is a girl inside who wants to live a much simpler, humble life. Even though I am moving to Denver to be closer to the kids and grandkids, my inner country girl will find the perfect place to live that offers as much of a country life that the big city, and limited finances, will allow. Maybe I’ll even get to have chickens. I’ve always wanted chickens.

\n

<3

\n", "date_published": "2014-06-09T01:30:35-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/06/09/a-day-of-rest.html", "tags": ["Comfort","Courage","Downsizing"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/06/07/hugs.html", "title": "Hugs", "content_html": "

\"hugs “Hugs”

\n

The other night, one of my favorite young men drove two hours just to help me move some heavy furniture. He and my youngest were in diapers together and I always prayed that someday they would get married and he would be my other son-in-law. Alas, they did become infatuated in their mid-teens and they kissed once. They both laughed so hard at the absurdity of dating someone who was, in nearly every sense of the word, a sibling. I am still thrilled he will be in my life forever.

\n

His mom is one of my best friends. When she told me what they were going to name their firstborn if he was a boy, I told her under no uncertain terms that she could NOT name him that. It was an old family name, true. But the kids would have teased him unmercifully. I told her I would let her know soon what his name was. A few days later, I was in the grocery store and heard a woman calling to her son. Hunter. Perfect! I told my friend I had the perfect name and that is who he is. A good name. Solid. Sophisticated. Masculine. We were laughing about it on the porch last night. He thanked me immensely that he isn’t named Theodore!

\n

We had a long talk. We shared our thoughts and fears from the bookends of life. He asked for advice on some things. We covered a lot of ground in a couple of hours and I cherished those moments I got to have with him because they are few and far between. He left this morning by 5 o’clock in order to be back at work at 7. He gave me big hugs and told me how special I have been in his life, that he’s sorry I have to go through this alone, and that all I ever need to do is call and he’ll do what he can for me. What a great kid. What a great evening!

\n

<3

\n", "date_published": "2014-06-07T01:30:11-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/06/07/hugs.html", "tags": ["Family","Comfort","Downsizing"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/05/25/to-be-or-not-to.html", "title": "To Be or Not To Be...", "content_html": "

\"to “To Be or Not To Be…”

\n

That is the question Shakespeare asked of us. It indicates a choice is to be made. It forces the person being asked to take an active role in the conversation. It is existential. It is profound. It is the square root of who we are.

\n

When I was in my forties, I had a teenager and a toddler and a husband who worked a difficult job and was gone long hours. He wasn’t a demonstrative person. I was involved in a hundred different things, trying to keep all the plates spinning on the sticks like the guy on Ted Mack’s Amateur Hour. Yet my soul was starving to death and when everything came crashing down around me, as it was bound to do, I saw a psychiatrist for depression and anxiety. We had worked together for a few weeks when he asked me a question I could not answer. As a matter of fact, I could not comprehend what was being asked.

\n

“What does GINNY want?”

\n

I was dumbfounded. Not only did I not know what Ginny wanted…I didn’t know who Ginny WAS. I don’t mean in an amnesiac kind of way. I mean in an existential kind of way. I was in my forties and no one, including myself, had ever asked me what I wanted. I changed doctors. I thought something was wrong with him to ask such a weird question. I could not relate.

\n

I did finally get better and it was a terribly rocky road to get there. But, even in my “wellness”, I didn’t realize I still couldn’t answer the question. I didn’t realize I still didn’t understand what was being asked. Not until a few months after Mr. Virgo died did I confront my identity.

\n

Initially it was “Who am I without Mr. Virgo?” I’m a mother…a grandmother…an aunt, sister, friend, employee, artist, writer, explorer…yada, yada, yada. These are my roles in life…my assigned titles that categorize where I sit at the big kid’s table. I am a Christian and that gives me great comfort. But….what do I want? The BIG “I”. The “I” that expands far beyond the confines of familial roles.

\n

This is the first time I have felt my “wholeness”. I feel expansive with limitless possibilities. I’m learning to enjoy my own company without relying on someone else’s compass. I like this person I am becoming. I love that I am a spacial thinker. I love that I am just the right age and size and that my skin fits me and makes reminders around my eyes that I have had great moments of joy in my life. I get a kick out of my ability to find the humor in just about any situation. I am touched by my heart when it aches with compassion. I am happy that I can cry tears of grief for a man I loved more than life. It means I HAD that love…that I FELT that connection with another soul. And I am grateful that I hold these memories close to my heart. They comfort me as well.

\n

I don’t know if I will always be alone. But for right now, I am busy stretching my wings, flapping them around, doing a few little test flights here and there. I’m learning, not only what Ginny WANTS, but also who Ginny IS. I am making an active choice…to be or not to be. I am happy to just be ME.

\n

<3

\n", "date_published": "2014-05-25T01:30:08-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/05/25/to-be-or-not-to.html", "tags": ["Faith","Grief","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/05/15/in-the-moment.html", "title": "In the Moment", "content_html": "

\"zen “In the Moment”

\n

This is my point of reference in the coming weeks. Trying to see myself down the road is overwhelming. Trying to remember where I’ve been is painful. Reminding myself that I only have this moment keeps me centered and focused. I will work and live in this moment and all other moments will take care of themselves. Feeling pretty zen-like at the moment with a load of stuff in the car to be distributed. :-)

\n", "date_published": "2014-05-15T01:30:44-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/05/15/in-the-moment.html", "tags": ["Comfort","Fear","Courage","Downsizing"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/05/11/happy-mothers-day.html", "title": "Happy Mother's Day!", "content_html": "

\"enjoy “Happy Mother’s Day!”

\n

My older daughter called this week to figure out our Mother’s Day plans. Granddaughter #1 has a swim meet next weekend that I want to see so we’ll celebrate then. Daughter #2 was coming up this weekend but she has a final on Monday so I’ll see her next weekend as well. In the meantime, we can FaceTime. I love that.

\n

Mr. Virgo always bought me flowers for Mother’s Day. And a gushy card. That man knew how to buy a gushy card! I have them all tucked away for safekeeping. Those will have to make the move with me. I usually plant my flower beds on Mother’s Day but this year we are under a winter storm warning! Seriously? I mean, we need the moisture but why can’t it just rain like it should at this time of year? It’s SPRING already! So, I’ll go to church and work on the house. And call those special women in my life.

\n

My mom died in 2004. I still think of calling her every Sunday. I usually called at least a couple of times a week, but Sunday was our set in stone time to talk. I miss my mom. She was a peach!

\n

Happy Mother’s Day to all you Moms…and Dads who had to be Moms, too!

\n", "date_published": "2014-05-11T01:30:19-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/05/11/happy-mothers-day.html", "tags": ["Family","Gratitude","Comfort"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/05/01/a-crooked-path.html", "title": "A Crooked Path", "content_html": "

\"woman's “A Crooked Path”

\n

There are stretches of life that resemble the Gunbarrel Highway down the San Luis Valley in south-central Colorado…stick straight and you can see for miles. Some stretches offer scenic vistas of families at dinner and in the park. Others are unlit, seemingly endless tunnels with no light at the end. Grief is like driving in the mountains of West Virginia. Some turns are so sharp you meet yourself coming back as my grandma used to say.

\n

I like to stop here at the cemetery some evenings and talk with Mr. Virgo. Whenever I go on a trip with TOW-Wanda, I being him back a rock. I place it around the perimeter of his grave and tell him where I’ve been and what I saw. Tonight I had to tell him I’m going to sell the house and move to Denver to be near the family. I won’t get to visit him as often. I’ll have to bring his rocks in batches. I told him I feel I’m making the right decision but gosh…could he please send me some sort of sign that I’m doing the right thing? Just at that moment, a beautiful mountain bluebird flew up and sat on the post at the head of his grave and started singing to me, cocking its head this way and that, studying me.

\n

I just smiled.

\n

Coincidence? Possibly. But I choose to believe Mr. Virgo hears me and these bluebirds are a sign from him. I see them all the time now whereas before, I was hard pressed to see one occasionally in the yard. I love that.

\n

Thank you, Mr. Virgo…for hanging out with me on a cold, spring evening!

\n", "date_published": "2014-05-01T01:30:41-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/05/01/a-crooked-path.html", "tags": ["Family","Overcoming Obstacles","Growth","Comfort","Peace","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/04/30/cozy-cottage.html", "title": "Cozy Cottage", "content_html": "

\"cozy “Cozy Cottage”

\n

In the five years between my divorce and meeting Mr. Virgo, I decorated my house like an English country cottage. After we were married, he put up with my froufrou decorating for about six months. One day he couldn’t take it anymore and said we had to add some testosterone to the décor. So I bought some beautiful used furniture and we decorated so it would become “our” house. I’ve always missed that touch of froufrou though! Now that I’m thinking of selling my house, all these wonderful decorating ideas are coming to mind.

\n

I needed to go to the Apple Store today to have them look at my iPad. Right next door, in the Flatirons Crossing Mall, is my favorite store in the world! Cozy Cottage has everything I could want…and then some. I think when I move, I’ll take just a select few pieces of furniture, and decorate just the way I want…what Mr. Virgo called “English country cottage $#!/”! My girls will roll their eyes. I will sigh and smile!

\n", "date_published": "2014-04-30T01:30:13-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/04/30/cozy-cottage.html", "tags": ["Colorado","New Ideas","Comfort","Grace","Love","Peaceful Moments"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/04/21/out-of-the-mouths-of.html", "title": "Out of the Mouths of Babes", "content_html": "

\"child's “Out of the mouths of babes.”

\n

We all adore our grandchildren and each feel ours are the smartest, the kindest, the most beautiful, the best…and they are. That’s our job as grandmothers…to give them everything we wish we would have been smart enough, and wealthy enough, to give our own children. Grandchildren are our gifts from God…our reward for accepting the daunting task of parenting and surviving.

\n

My grandchildren are, of course, the best. My 10 year old is smart and beautiful and athletic. My 6 year old is my loving, tender, deep thinker. I’m spending a few days with them this week and we are all thrilled.

\n

We are having our annual Easter dinner at my son-in-law’s parents even as I write this. We hunted for Easter eggs and exchanged baskets and took lots of pictures. Then my little one, my thinker, my old soul told me she had something for me. She had made me this card. It was everything I could do not to cry. She misses her Papa. And…she understands me like few adults do.

\n

Yes, my grandchildren are the best.

\n", "date_published": "2014-04-21T01:30:37-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/04/21/out-of-the-mouths-of.html", "tags": ["Family","Grief","Hope","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/04/10/inner-peace.html", "title": "Inner Peace", "content_html": "

\"marvin “If you cannot find peace within yourself, you will never find it anywhere else.” Marvin Gaye

\n

So, yesterday I mentioned that I went through the whole day Monday without remembering it would have been Mr. Virgo’s and my 7th Wedding Anniversary. Thanks to everyone who sent me love and sweet thoughts. Now that I’ve had a chance to think about it, I realize it is just another step in healing. I haven’t forgotten him. I’ve just been living this amazing life I’ve been given and I still take him with me wherever I go.

\n

When I went out for my walk/run yesterday, I went from my house to the cemetery for the first time. When I travel in TOW-Wanda, I bring a rock back from each trip and place it around Mr. Virgo’s grave and tell him about my trip. I did that yesterday without thinking of our anniversary. It was only after getting to the office and seeing the calendar that I remembered. And I felt sadness wash over me.

\n

But then something amazing happened. I’ve been reading The Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer and have learned that “I” am not the thoughts, the voice chattering in my head. That voice of admonishment that chastised me for not remember on the day itself is not “me”. I remembered that “I”…the real “me”…sits back and observes that chatterbox. And really, what was the difference between the five minutes BEFORE I remembered and the five minutes AFTER? Only one thing…a tiny thought. I remembered. Everything else…the ensuing feeling of guilt…was nothing more than self judgement. Is anything really different after I remembered? Nope…he’s still gone. I’m still here. I’m still functioning and strong. I’m still standing. It may have taken me a few hours of rumination to work that thought through, but the point is…I DID work through it. I know HOW to work through it.

\n

What an amazing revelation to know where “I” sit…to know who “I” am. Things will never be the same.

\n", "date_published": "2014-04-10T01:30:01-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/04/10/inner-peace.html", "tags": ["Grief","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Peace","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/04/09/quiet.html", "title": "Quiet", "content_html": "

\"horse “Quiet”

\n

One thing I now have much more control over as a widow is noise. I am very selective about what I listen to these days. Driving is still much more fun for me while listening to my iTunes playlists. I sort them into fun mixes just like we used to do with mixed tapes. Country, Road Trip, Christian, Classical. I have a playlist for every mood. When we were in Ouray this weekend Sue played “Girls Chase Boys” by Ingrid Michaelson and I kept playing it over and over yesterday when I drove to Denver and back. Sometimes a song catches me and won’t let go!

\n

There are times when I just want peace and quiet. I rarely have TV on anymore. When I hear it for more than 15 minutes or so, I usually get really agitated…unless it’s a show I like. The Voice is one of my favorites. I bought an Apple TV unit yesterday. My daughter has it and says it has saved them a ton of money. Hey, my bottom line is this…$99 is a small price to pay to see Blake Shelton on the big screen! Am I right???

\n", "date_published": "2014-04-09T01:30:35-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/04/09/quiet.html", "tags": ["Grief","Growth","Comfort","Grace","God","Peace"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/04/05/balance.html", "title": "Balance", "content_html": "

\"rocky “Balance”

\n

Life is a balancing act. When I was raising my children, I was doing all those extra things you do as a young mother and wife. Soccer, cheerleading, Hospital Auxiliary…I was even a DJ on the local public radio station. I had a 4000 square foot garden and boarded horses. I canned, baked our bread, made yoghurt and tofu as well as chopped wood for the wood stove we heated our house with. Throw in the time I volunteered at a local Arabian farm in exchange for my daughter’s riding lessons and the fact that my kids are nearly 16 years apart and my husband at the time was a doctor and rarely at home, my life was crazy. I felt like that guy on the Ed Sullivan Show who spun 20 plates on sticks and tried to keep them from falling. I exercised like a fiend for stress reduction but eventually it all came apart and the plates crashed to the ground.

\n

It took a lot of work to put all those pieces back together and I protect my sanity like a mother bear protecting her cubs. I know all too well how easily life can tip out of balance. When I feel the storms of stress rumbling at the edges of my consciousness, I know it’s time to pull back and take a seat deep within. When my mind starts to chatter and criticize, I pray. I meditate. I become the one who listens…the one who hears the chatter. I remind myself that the chatterbox in my mind is not “me”. It is thought. Thoughts come and go. I am always here. When I can sit with that, my mind quiets down and I can just BE. In the present. In this moment. I don’t worry about what happened before…I don’t predict what will happen next. I just retreat to my inner sanctuary for a while. It’s very refreshing and life affirming. It takes practice and becomes easier when you reach “a certain age”. I think we remember that time when we were children. That time before the big people told us what, and what not to believe.

\n

Yesterday’s drive (note the bighorn sheep that was right beside the road) and subsequent soak in the local hot springs was just such an event. As I sat in my car with TOW-Wanda hooked up and ready, I spent a few moments getting still and taking in the amazing views from my friend’s property. I closed my eyes and concentrated on my breathing. I listened to the Earth below me speak her wisdom. As I opened my eyes, there….flying directly at my windshield, not twenty feet away, was a young bald eagle. He swept right by my window, pulling up at the last possible moment. I smiled at the rush of energy that swept through me. I was ready to move into the next room in my soul.

\n

Ahhhh…Spring cleaning.

\n", "date_published": "2014-04-05T01:30:59-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/04/05/balance.html", "tags": ["Colorado","Grief","Camping","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/04/01/solitude.html", "title": "Solitude", "content_html": "

\"solitude “Solitude”

\n

Last night I went to a reception honoring a local woman for her recent induction in the Colorado Women’s Hall of Fame. Afterwards, Sue and I met a friend of hers for dinner then we all headed to see the documentary film “Walking the Camino”. The Camino de Santiago is a pilgrimage that takes you from the south of France across Spain. You walk 800 kilometers (497 miles!). The film followed six people as they made the trek, each for their own reasons. There were two gentlemen friends in their 70’s down to a 3 year old trekking with his mother. (SHE was my hero!) The scenery was amazing. The struggles, and blisters, were true tests of the mettle of the brave souls who look inward during this journey. We all left ready to fill a backpack and go. Sue’s friend IS going…in September. She lost her beloved husband 2 years ago and this is her breakout moment, her change of course. Wow…I so admire her! This takes guts and determination and strength…physical, mental, emotional, spiritual. I may have to save up for this.

\n

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, there has been a HUGE hatch of miller moth cutworms and they are EVERYWHERE! I read online that they really come out at night to feed and they weren’t kidding. I walked out to the trailer when we got home late last night and the ground was littered with them. Ooooogy.

\n

We are expecting snow Wednesday afternoon and Thursday. I’m going to move the trailer out of the field because I could get stuck in all this red dirt which will turn to clay.

\n

Happy April Fool’s Day! My Pop-Pop was born 115 years ago today.

\n", "date_published": "2014-04-01T01:30:06-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/04/01/solitude.html", "tags": ["Colorado","Grief","Camping","Growth","Comfort","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/03/25/any-road.html", "title": "Any Road...", "content_html": "

\"any “If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will take you there.” Lewis Carroll

\n

When I left Denver this morning, it was spitting snow. I’ve lived here long enough to know when it’s snowing down low, you can just about guarantee it is snowing up high. I got a much later start than I anticipated but, being my mother’s daughter (read…stubborn), I decided to hit the road, come what may. My concern for TOW-Wanda’s well being gave me pause however, so I called a friend and asked him to read the weather and road conditions to me. My original plan was to take the scenic route but that would have taken me on a two lane blacktop through a 40 mile stretch that was experiencing 50MPH winds with blowing snow. The alternate route was not nearly as pretty and I didn’t get to pop in and surprise my friend, Emile. (Sorry, sweetie…next time!) It also added 2.5 hours to my drive, but I made it to the hot springs resort which was to be tomorrow’s destination. An extra day of yoga, meditation, soaking, and art can’t hurt! $22.50/night to camp right at the springs. $10 for a GREAT bowl of vegan tortilla soup with bread and a non-alcohol beer. Yummmmm! Soaking this evening did cost $15 plus I bought a lock for the locker for $5 but that I can use for lots of things. Tomorrow, $25 gets an 80 minute yoga class, a full day pass to the pool, as well as use of the eucalyptus steam and sauna. A hidden gem! (My friends worry when I divulge where I am staying, so I will let you know where this is when I get to my next place in a couple of days!)

\n

Ommmmmmmmm…..

\n", "date_published": "2014-03-25T01:30:05-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/03/25/any-road.html", "tags": ["Faith","Camping","Comfort","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/03/24/on-the-road-again.html", "title": "On the Road Again!!!", "content_html": "

\"road “Take me on a ROAD TRIP!”

\n

After a fun few days with the grandkids, this Nana is hitting the open road this morning! I’m heading south and cruising through Colorado, New Mexico, Arizona, and Utah. I’m going to hit every hot springs I can find and will post lots of pics and stories from the road!

\n

TOW-Wanda!!!

\n", "date_published": "2014-03-24T01:30:17-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/03/24/on-the-road-again.html", "tags": ["Grief","Hope","Camping","Fun","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","goRVing","Grace","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/03/23/touching-lives-touching-hearts.html", "title": "Touching Lives. Touching Hearts.", "content_html": "

\"touching “Touching Lives. Touching Hearts.”

\n

A friend of mine is a widow of seven years and works as a grief counselor for a donor/transplant organization. Her job is to comfort and guide people in their grief as they deal with the complicated topic of tissue and organ donation. As with much of this grief journey, I had no real concept of what this subject would actually FEEL like when the time came to make decisions. As it turns out, my decision was ultimately made for me. Mr. Virgo had spent a good deal of time in Europe in the 70’s and early 80’s and therefore could not have organs or tissue harvested because of the possibility he had been exposed to ‘mad cow disease’. I wish part of him could have been used. The only thing they would have taken would have been his corneas because of his age. He would have wanted to help another and I was so disappointed.

\n

My friend had a beautiful experience recently when she gathered a donor family and the five recipients of the donated organs. The family wanted to hear their son’s heart as it beat in the chest of another. What courage! What love! What a selfless act of kindness…on both their parts.

\n

We never know how many lives we may touch when we are generous…with our hearts. With our kindness. With our words. I know you have all touched my life. Perhaps our paths will cross someday and you and I will meet. And we will listen to each other’s hearts.

\n", "date_published": "2014-03-23T01:30:48-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/03/23/touching-lives-touching-hearts.html", "tags": ["Grief","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/03/18/go-do-its-travel-tuesday.html", "title": "Go. Do. It's Travel Tuesday!", "content_html": "

 

\n

\"meme\" “Go do those things!”

\n

I’m planning my next trip. I have at least two weeks, maybe three, with a free schedule. I’ve been invited to participate in a couple of art shows and need to get some things made. I can just as easily pack up my portable studio and make art on the road so I’m heading south. I want to hit NM then back up through the Four Corners and visit the sights in SE Utah.

\n

I love my little trailer. It offers me a sense of security. It’s cozy. It’s the playhouse I never had as a child. My fort. My treehouse. My princess castle. If you have the means to have a trailer of your own but fear is stopping you, find someone local who can show you the ropes. Sisters on the Fly​ has chapters everywhere. With your membership, you can do a search for Sisters in your area. We are always ready to help a newbie learn to spread her wings and fly! Honestly, it isn’t that difficult to learn and you’d be surprised how easy it is to handle a small trailer.

\n

If trailering isn’t your thing, I still encourage you to find your way out for adventures. There’s a big, beautiful world out there just waiting to be explored. You can do this. I got your back, girlfriend!

\n", "date_published": "2014-03-18T01:30:20-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/03/18/go-do-its-travel-tuesday.html", "tags": ["Travel","Strong Women","Positive Energy","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","Growth","Comfort","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/03/15/spring.html", "title": "Spring!!!", "content_html": "

\"temperature “Spring!!!”

\n

Ok, March and April can be our snowiest months in Colorado. But I’ll tell you what, I’ll take a day like this any time of year!

\n

Love, love, love the sunshine and warmth!!!

\n", "date_published": "2014-03-15T01:30:29-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/03/15/spring.html", "tags": ["Family","Fun","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/03/06/vision.html", "title": "Vision", "content_html": "

\"princess “Vision”

\n

Sometimes, I feel…if I could just concentrate enough, I could see him. As if there is a thin veil between where I exist and where Mr. Virgo exists and it’s just a bit too thick to see through. Or, if I close my eyes and really listen, really concentrate, I could hear his voice. Then I realize, that’s not likely to happen. Not in reality, anyway.

\n

I read the other day that hallucinations are fairly common in grief and I wonder if that is the pragmatists’ way of dismissing the paranormal. I have heard numerous stories of people seeing and hearing their loved one after they die. A friend of mine saw his wife three days after she died. She told him, rather forcefully, to take his medicine. Mr. Virgo turned me around and told me to shut the bedroom window three days after he died. My aunt was standing at the airport when my grandpa tapped her on the shoulder moments after he died five states away. I saw my grandpa twice after he died.

\n

I haven’t seen Mr. Virgo. Not in a recognizable, physical way. I’ve sensed him nearby. But not for quite a while. Maybe a part of him stayed here for awhile to comfort me in the weeks after his death. Maybe I was hallucinating in the depths of my grief. I don’t think there are any of us who wouldn’t want just one last visit. One last cup of coffee. One last conversation. One last kiss…

\n", "date_published": "2014-03-06T02:30:14-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/03/06/vision.html", "tags": ["Grief","Comfort","Grace","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/02/24/nap-time.html", "title": "Nap Time!", "content_html": "

\"camper “Stressed out? There’s a nap for that!”

\n

Ah, to be a kindergartner. To be five and the only responsibility is tying my shoes and keeping a goldfish alive. Someone to give me a cold glass of milk and a warm cookie. Someone to tuck me in with a kiss to my forehead. It’s nap time.

\n

Entire cultures revolve around naps. Some corporations in Japan offer small cubicles where workers can take a much needed break from the hustle and bustle of a busy life. Einstein worked for a few hours at a time then slept, rising to repeat the cycle and look what it did for HIS brain! I’m not talking the escapism of depression here. That kind of napping is unhealthy. No, I’m talking about taking a break from the BUSY and slow down. A power nap. A peaceful nap. An oasis in an overly cluttered life.

\n

My schedule has been pretty packed here of late. Gone are those large stretches of time that I needed to survive this year of grieving. I sleep well at night. But occasionally I need to just stop and recharge. I have a friend in her eighties. She is like a mom to me. As a matter of fact, she and her husband stood up for me as my parents when I married Mr. Virgo. I was visiting her the other day. The sun was shining through the south windows. We were enjoying a lazy day, chatting by the fire, when we both started yawning. I feel quite at home at her house, so I just told her I was going to lay down for 30 minutes then I would take her to her doctor’s appointment. I came out refreshed and ready for whatever the rest of the day offered me.

\n

We don’t always have the opportunity to nap, but if you can swing it…go for it. I’ll have cookies and milk for you when you wake up!

\n", "date_published": "2014-02-24T02:30:10-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/02/24/nap-time.html", "tags": ["Positive Energy","Camping","Gratitude","Comfort","Peace"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/02/14/scar-tissue.html", "title": "Scar Tissue", "content_html": "

\"rose “Scar Tissue”

\n

I graduated Wednesday. At the end of my session with my grief counsellor, we decided I don’t need to go back unless I feel the need. The goal of any therapy should be the time when you don’t need it.

\n

When I first started this journey, the pain was bad…really bad. Then I went through a strong denial phase. I didn’t deny Mr. Virgo’s death. I denied my pain because I was afraid if I tried to take it in all at once, I would break open and pieces of me would fall away. So, I traveled…I spent too much money…I attached myself in ways I was not prepared for. Then one day, quite literally, the fog lifted and I was able to see everything clearly. The finality of it all hit me like a ton of bricks. I was numb for months then the anesthesia wore off. The pain was far worse than it was initially. And, I had a choice. I could stand there and watch the pieces fall off of me or, I could get out my sewing kit and start piecing myself a quilt from the scraps I had left.

\n

A quilt. That’s what we are. We start out fresh from the bolt. Pristine. Crisp. Life wears on us, we tear, we wrinkle, we get ripped and cut…sometimes in the tiniest pieces. And, if we apply ourselves…if we are diligent and careful…we can put ourselves back together into something far more complex than we were in the beginning. Strong. Warm. Beautiful.

\n

Choose your thread wisely. Anything but the best will wear out after a few washes.

\n", "date_published": "2014-02-14T02:30:50-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/02/14/scar-tissue.html", "tags": ["Grief","Growth","Comfort"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/02/10/heaven.html", "title": "Heaven", "content_html": "

\"view “Mr. Virgo’s Idea of Heaven”

\n

Mr. Virgo lived his life. He had stories that were so entertaining, I would often ask him to tell me over and over. I marveled at the places he went, the people he met, the things he did. He lived his life, but he also questioned what was coming next. He was a Christian, so he knew he was going to Heaven. But, what does Heaven look like? Is it some ethereal thing with streets paved in gold? Is it like earth, only different? Is it whatever you want it to be? There are those who claim to have been there during near-death experiences and I’m not sure I have read any two accounts that match exactly. Mr. Virgo and I used to talk about it. We would theorize, debate, quote, read, watch movies and discuss just what we felt it would be like. His view of Heaven was very simple. It was this picture, taken at an overlook near Pagosa Springs, Colorado. Whenever we would stop here on our way down from the mountains, he would just stare out at this vista and sigh. This was perfection. He would have a log cabin. He would be a mountain man, hunting and trapping and gathering food. He would chop his own wood and carry water from a pristine stream. He would fish and bake biscuits in a Dutch oven. He would sit on the front porch in the evening in a rocking chair he built himself. He would whittle and listen to the evening birds as they swooped to catch the mayflies. And he would visit with God. He pictured God sitting on that front porch with him every evening, discussing the great mysteries of life. He would see his family again. He would meet Lincoln, and JFK, and Mother Theresa. He would rest. He was most looking forward to seeing Jesus. He wanted to ask him every question there was to ask.

\n

I like to look at this picture and imagine him doing all those things he said he would do in Heaven. I like to picture him with Jesus. It gives me peace.

\n", "date_published": "2014-02-10T02:30:15-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/02/10/heaven.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","God"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/02/08/the-mouths-of-babes.html", "title": "The Mouths of Babes", "content_html": "

\"good “Some good things come out of the worst of times. Molly, age 6”

\n

My six…almost seven year old granddaughter is one of the most profound thinkers I have ever known. On the night Mr. Virgo was buried, we were sitting at dinner and the divine Miss M sat by me, held my hand and said, “Nana, I am so sorry for what happened to Papa…you must be so sad.” She went on to take her crayons and draw a circle with a cross in it and gave it to me.

\n

“This is for you, Nana.”

\n

“That’s beautiful, honey. What is it?”

\n

“This is for you to put on Papa’s pillow to remind you that he died and didn’t just go on vacation without you.”

\n

That’s is deep on a couple of levels. First, being left behind on purpose is a fate worse than death to a 5 year old. And second, don’t fool yourself into thinking he’s coming back because he’s not. She is a pragmatist, she thinks and feels deeply, and she is six.

\n

We went to the mall for Valentine shoes on Saturday. (Doesn’t every girl need new shoes for Valentine’s Day?) We were looking at pictures over lunch and when we came to one of her Papa, she told me she still misses him. A little later, she was trying on her new cowgirl boots and caught my eye with a very serious look on her face.

\n

“Nana, some good things come out of the worst of times.”

\n

Indeed, they do, Miss M…indeed they do.

\n", "date_published": "2014-02-08T02:30:39-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/02/08/the-mouths-of-babes.html", "tags": ["Family","Grief","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/02/04/nature-cheaper-than-therapy.html", "title": "Nature. Cheaper Than Therapy.", "content_html": "

\"coyote “Nature…cheaper than therapy!”

\n

Therapy has its place in our lives. When everything falls apart, sometimes we need a little help sorting out the pieces. It’s up to us to provide the glue.

\n

One of the things I absolutely love about TOW-Wanda is she has big windows strategically placed. I can hand grind and prepare my French-pressed coffee in the morning, prop up my pillows and get back in bed. I always try to park with the best views out the biggest window. I watch the light change, listen to the wind in the trees, and soak every ounce of nature’s beauty into the marrow of my bones. I always keep binoculars, a camera, and my journal within easy reach. Once the chill is off the morning, I hike, fish, drive, or just sit by a rushing stream. I try not to have an agenda unless I have a destination in mind.

\n

Last fall, I had to find a place to park TOW-Wanda. I really wanted to keep her at home with me but I ran out of time to prepare a parking spot for her. She’s out on a mesa near the airport. Not bad views either. I go out when I can and hike through the snow to reach her. She’s well insulated and if the sun is shining, I can stay pretty warm under the covers. I’ve been known to go out after church, crawl in bed with a good book, and take a nap. While I may not be lost in the woods, I’m in an environment that nurtures the same feelings and I always feel like I’ve had a vacation afterwards…even if it’s only been a couple of hours.

\n

Get outside. Take a walk. Feel the sun or wind or even just snow on your face. If you are grieving in the winter, you have the added challenge of dark, dismal days. Feed the birds and watch them. Force bulbs in pots on the windowsill. Plant grass seed in planters so you can run your fingers through it. Pets are perfect. They sooth your soul. If you aren’t up to having a pet, visit a local animal rescue. They can always use extra hands. And fear not….Spring will be here soon. Just hang in there. You’re doing really hard work. We’ll get through this.

\n", "date_published": "2014-02-04T02:30:17-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/02/04/nature-cheaper-than-therapy.html", "tags": ["Colorado","Camping","Comfort"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/02/02/seek-balance.html", "title": "Seek Balance", "content_html": "

\"balancing “Seek Balance”

\n

I did not learn to ski till I was 33. It was the first year my ex-husband was in his new medical practice and I was lucky enough to be a stay at home mom. We lived 15 minutes from the ski area, so I would get my housework done, run up and ski a few runs, then head back to the house to start supper and be available when my daughter got home from school.

\n

I was scared to death. I don’t like heights. I don’t like cold. I don’t particularly like strenuous sports. But my family did so I was bound and determined to learn. I signed up for a class through the local community college. It was really affordable and met two days per week. Perfect. The problem came when everyone else in the class advanced much quicker than me. I didn’t like being left behind so I really pushed myself, but I was panic stricken every time I headed down a run.

\n

One of the techniques used in nearly every run is to lean forward out over the point of balance and turn away from the mountain. This is totally counterintuitive and I couldn’t grasp it. The last thing in the world I wanted to do was turn out over that edge because I was sure I would die.

\n

It took a good deal of practice and several private lessons with a very patient instructor before I became a competent skier. In looking back, I realize much of life is like a good ski run. You have to lean forward past your comfort zone. You have to turn away from certain safety and seek a balance that let’s you soar in a way that is the closest to flying you can attain with your feet still on the ground. When you find that balance, do all you can to keep yourself there for within it lies peace.

\n", "date_published": "2014-02-02T02:30:57-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/02/02/seek-balance.html", "tags": ["Comfort","Wisdom","Fear"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2013/12/23/santa.html", "title": "Santa!", "content_html": "

\"santa “Santa and Me”

\n

I find that if I get out and mingle with people I do a lot better than if I hang out at the house too much. Today was no exception. I found myself wasting the day away so I headed to town about 2pm. I have lived in my small town since 1986 so I can just about bank on seeing someone I know when I’m out and about.

\n

First stop was the bank. The gals are always so sweet and want to know what adventure I’m heading on next. Then I went to the mall. I needed a screen protector so while I waited I chatted with a gal I knew. She didn’t know about Mr. Virgo so I had to tell her. Sympathy, hugs, promises to do lunch. All so gratefully received. I wandered around till I got to Penney’s. Big sale so I picked up a pair of jeans and saw another gal I’ve known forever. Sympathy, hugs, tears. Pulled it together and headed in the other direction. Down at the other end of the mall, there was Santa with three beautiful children on his lap. Now, my normal operating mode is to cry over Hallmark commercials. Don’t EVEN show me one with a soldier coming home to his mom! I stood watching these bright and shiny faces gazing in wonder at Santa and I was reminded of when Mr. Virgo had his beard (omgosh…he looked JUST like Sean Connery, I kid you not!). He worked at the Hotel Jerome and was asked to be Santa. Oh! You would have thought they had given him the leading role in the year’s biggest blockbuster movie, he was that excited. So of course, I had to stand there watching Santa and the children and didn’t even realize tears were falling off my chin. The children left and I noticed Santa watching me. He cocked his head a little, scooched over in the chair and patted the seat beside him. I looked around and decided I really needed a visit with this jolly, old elf. I walked up and sat down. I kept my eyes diverted a bit because I knew if I made direct eye contact, I was a goner. We sat in silence for a bit and finally, I whispered to him, “My husband died. I need a new heart.” He put his arm around me and drew me close. He whispered back, “I’m so sorry.” I told him what had happened and that I had such sweet memories of Mr. Virgo at Christmas. I apologized for being such a mess. He told me I was perfect. I asked if I could just sit with him for a minute. He leaned his head against mine and patted my back while I cried. It didn’t take long. I had it back together in just a couple of minutes. These water works turn on and off fairly quickly, most of the time. He said, “Will you have your picture taken with me?” I smiled and wiped the last tears away, and with the same awe I saw on the faces of those beautiful children, I nodded and said, “I’d like that.” He whispered, “Thank you for stopping.” I whispered back, “Thank you for being real.”

\n", "date_published": "2013-12-23T02:30:15-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2013/12/23/santa.html", "tags": ["Grief","Gratitude","Comfort"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2013/12/19/smile.html", "title": "Smile", "content_html": "

\"smile\" “You are someone’s reason to smile!”

\n

What a difference a couple of days can make. I had a really good day today. Long, but good. I worked at the doctor’s office and had an in-service late in the day in Aspen. I got back to the office at 6:30, went to the restaurant across the street for dinner, and came back to the office. I needed to do a tutorial online for EKG’s and Holter monitor and by the time I got done, it was 9:30. I live an hour away and have to be back early tomorrow. We’re supposed to have snow and there is so much wildlife out this time\nof year, I just figure it’s safer to stay here at the office. Our exam tables are really cushy massage tables and we have plenty of pillows and blankets. It’s really secure and there’s a lock on my office door as well. So, I’m stayin’ put!

\n

Feels good to feel good. Have a happy Friday!

\n", "date_published": "2013-12-19T02:30:54-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2013/12/19/smile.html", "tags": ["Growth","Gratitude","Comfort"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2013/12/15/frozen-in-time.html", "title": "Frozen in Time", "content_html": "

\"text\" “A Text from Mr. Virgo”

\n

Awwwww….look what I found on Mr. Virgo’s phone! I love when these little messages come to me. Like this summer when I was cleaning out what we called the dump station. It’s a little wooden charging station where we’d park the phones when we got home and little bits of this and that would end up there. I found a little sticky note wishing me Happy Valentine’s Day so I stuck it up on the fridge to remind me of a sweet, gentle man who loved me more than anything in the world. The gift that keeps on giving!

\n

I was thinking about Christmas this week and remembering how much Mr. Virgo liked to plan and hunt and buy just the perfect gifts for me. He was very generous and lavished me with beautiful things that he had heard me mention over the course of the year and I fully realize how much he spoiled me rotten. I’ll be darned if I didn’t feel myself getting a little sad that my stocking will be pretty empty this year. Man, that didn’t last long! At church today we discussed the blessings we have in life and I realized hoping for material goods isn’t anywhere near as wonderful as hoping for the Spirit of Christmas to fill me with a generous, loving heart. I truly have everything I could possibly need and then some. I don’t need a thing…but, if you wanted to send me to Belize in January or February, I wouldn’t object. Just sayin'.

\n", "date_published": "2013-12-15T02:30:01-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2013/12/15/frozen-in-time.html", "tags": ["Grief","Comfort","Love"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2013/12/11/hugs.html", "title": "Hugs", "content_html": "

\"sheldon “Sheldon Hugs Penny”

\n

We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.\n—Virginia Satir, family therapist

\n

We’re going to get touchy-feely here today. I love hugs! Mr. Virgo and I couldn’t be in the same room without touching each other. We were openly, physically demonstrative and for me, that was like water to a desert flower. For those of you who are widowed or who live alone, for whatever reason, you know how it feels to not have anyone to hug and to hug you back. Certainly the quick hugs we sometimes get when we greet friends and good acquaintances feel good, but I’m talking about the “will you hold me a little while” kind of hugs. This is more likely to be from a family member, but even they have their limits as to how long a hug should be held and still remain comfortable. A good long hug just doesn’t happen…at least not nearly often enough, when you are alone.

\n

When I went through a very painful divorce 14 years ago, I asked my doctor to prescribe therapeutic massage for me so I could receive regular human touch. I haven’t done that since losing Mr. Virgo, but I’m getting ready to. When I was heading to my grief counseling appointment yesterday, I decided I’m going to have to do something to get more hugs. I have some ideas for a hugging project that I am still formulating and I’ll bring them to you as I develop the idea further. But in the meantime, if you see me on the street, by all means….hug the stuffin’s outta me! My hug titer is LOW!

\n

Have a wonderful Friday, everyone….and go hug somebody!!!

\n", "date_published": "2013-12-11T02:30:51-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2013/12/11/hugs.html", "tags": ["Grief","Hope","Comfort"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2013/11/26/dream-sweet.html", "title": "Dream Sweet", "content_html": "

\"beautiful “Beautiful Bed”

\n

Very busy and productive evening in the studio. Time to call it a night. Sleep well!

\n", "date_published": "2013-11-26T02:03:42-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2013/11/26/dream-sweet.html", "tags": ["Growth","Gratitude","Comfort"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2013/11/25/security.html", "title": "Security", "content_html": "

\"lock\" “Security”

\n

One of the big name security companies came to our house a year ago offering to put in a security system. The equipment would be installed for free and we would only pay the monthly monitoring fee. Mr. Virgo thought it was a good idea and we should do it, but for some reason we just never got around to it. I lived here for 5 years before I met him and never once felt frightened to be here alone. However, since the time change, and there are no street lights near me, I have had a few unsettling feelings when I hear (or imagine I hear) something outside. The other night I swore I heard footsteps outside my window. It was probably just a wild animal, but it gave me pause. Granted, I am insured by Smith and Wesson. You can rest assured I am packin’ when I’m traveling alone in TOW-Wanda and a gun lives by my bedside. (I always lock them away when the grandchildren are visiting.) I had a security system installed on Saturday and I love it! They are so much more than just an alarm these days. Mine has a button each for police, fire, and ambulance. I downloaded their app onto my phone and iPad and I can arm/disarm the system remotely. I can turn lights on and off. (I have my Christmas tree lights plugged into it and can turn them on before I get home so I can see them when I drive up!) There is a video camera that I have aimed out the sidelight in my front door. If the doorbell rings when I’m in bed or in another room, I can bring up the app on my iPad and see who is there. I can check the thermostat remotely so I step into a warm house when I get home. Here’s the fun one…I can turn up the heat in the house from my bed when I first wake up and after I’ve read the news on my iPad, the house is warmer when I go for that first cup of coffee! OK, I am a geek. I admit it. I love techno-toys. But I have to tell you, I slept better the last two nights than I have since Mr. Virgo died. And that is worth every penny!

\n", "date_published": "2013-11-25T02:30:59-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2013/11/25/security.html", "tags": ["Grief","Hope","Growth","Comfort"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2013/09/11/key-lime-pie.html", "title": "Key Lime Pie", "content_html": "

\"key “Key Lime Pie”

\n

For my friend, Becky. A friend brought me key limes from Florida and we made this recipe. It was awesome! I am trying it today with the bottled key lime juice so I’ll let you know how it compares to fresh squeezed.

\n

http://m.allrecipes.com/video/1360/key-lime-pie-vii/

\n", "date_published": "2013-09-11T01:30:29-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2013/09/11/key-lime-pie.html", "tags": ["Fun","New Ideas","Comfort"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2013/09/11/putanesca-sauce.html", "title": "Putanesca Sauce", "content_html": "

\"Putanesca “Putanesca Sauce”

\n

This is a rustic, Northern Italian spaghetti sauce that is rich and spicy. Perfect for these cool days of Fall. Serve over pasta of choice and freshly shaved Parmesan cheese.

\n

I always start with two or three jars of a good quality jarred sauce to save time. I pick spicy flavors because it enriches what I’m adding. Boulder Sausage Company makes a great Hot Italian Sausage in ground or links. I like the links. You can use any good quality sausage. Using kitchen shears, cut the links in half-inch circles Use the amount to your liking and to the size of your pot. I used one package of 5 links. Sauté a large chopped yellow onion and a box of sliced mushrooms in 1-2 T. olive oil. When the onions are pretty transparent, add the Italian Sausage and a teaspoon or so of minced garlic. Add a good handful of pitted Kalamata olives cut in half and a couple of tablespoons of capers, drained. Mash two or three anchovy filets (trust me, you will not taste these in the sauce as fishy…it just adds to the richness) and throw them in. Add red pepper flakes to taste. Remember, these get hotter as they cook. I used about a teaspoon. Then pour your jars of sauce over this mixture once the sausage is cooked. Stir well, cover with a spatter screen (this keeps the stove relatively clean while allowing the sauce to thicken) and simmer over a low flame for at least an hour or two. The flavors evolve if you refrigerate this overnight and heat it the next day. Adjust thickness with a little water if it’s too thick. I never cook with a recipe, so I have given approximations. This made a nice-sized pot of sauce that made four meals. You can multiply for a crowd. Also, the sauce freezes well.

\n

Serve with a salad, warm garlic bread, and a rich Cabernet and you have a wonderful meal fit for company!

\n

(Photo credit smittenkitchen.com)

\n", "date_published": "2013-09-11T01:30:04-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2013/09/11/putanesca-sauce.html", "tags": ["Fun","Gratitude","Comfort"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2013/08/27/stormy-colorado-sky.html", "title": "Stormy Colorado Sky", "content_html": "

\"stormy “Stormy Colorado Sky”

\n

I love the Colorado sky. I took this the other night and couldn’t believe how beautiful it was in every direction.

\n

I’ve actually been home for the last NINE days! Wow…I think that’s the longest stretch since I started “The Grand Adventure” on May 10th. I’ve been a busy bee, nesting in preparation for the change of seasons. I didn’t get to do my spring cleaning this year so I’ve been playing catch up this week. Thank you Deisy, Liz, and Mama Elena for your help yesterday! I just finished shampooing the carpets and I’m doing laundry. It’s beautiful outside and I am so tempted by the Siren Song of the woods. Must…stay…focused!

\n

I have a lot of fun planned for the next couple of weeks. I am driving to Denver after work Thursday and anxiously await the arrival of my niece just back from Kuwait. I can hardly wait to get my arms around her and give her a big hug. I am picking up a friend from the airport on Saturday with lots of fun activities planned for next week.

\n

I am amazed at how beautiful and sweet life is on this side of summer. I was so broken in March that I was certain the sun would never shine again. By the time I got to May 10th and set out on my travels, I was beginning to feel hopeful. But now? I see life with new eyes and I am so grateful for the chance to begin looking for happiness again.

\n

Well, the next load of laundry is ready. The sun is shining, got Scotty McCreary on the radio, and a spring in my step. Look out world…I’m coming to get ya'!

\n", "date_published": "2013-08-27T01:30:11-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2013/08/27/stormy-colorado-sky.html", "tags": ["Grief","Hope","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort"] } ] }