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When I was a little girl, I used to lie down on the ground and watch the many shapes that appeared in the clouds above me. Sometimes I peeked through the branches of the tulip poplar my dad planted smack dab in the middle of the yard and imagined fairies and dragons, puppies and buttercups, little girls having a tea party. I wondered if God sat with them, smiling at the innocence of youth. I didn’t know a lot about innocence after the age of seven or eight. That was the summer the boy at the end of the alley trapped me in the garage and molested me. From then on, I found escape in the clouds.
\n\n\nI’ve always been drawn by the colors of the sky when day transitions to night. I imagined God as the great big cowboy in the sky who lassoed my anger, my pain, my shame, and drew it up to great heights only to toss it in the flames of the sunset so I could be free. So that, even in my young embarrassment, I somehow knew I wasn’t to blame because God brought the flames back so often. Even when the sky is overcast, I know for a fact there is a beautiful sunset behind those clouds…like a secret shared between friends.
\n\n\nThe most beautiful sunsets I’ve witnessed were at the beach where the fire kissed the sea. Still to this day, I like to send all my frustrations, aches and pains, hurt, and anger off to God in the heavens to burn like kindling, bringing me peace. I sleep well after those sunsets…free of any darkness that threatens my qi.
\n\n\nI don’t pay much attention to the shapes in the clouds these days. I’m more in awe of the brilliant paintings our Creator shares with us. Last night, as I was typing this, I heard Mr. FixIt go out the back door and exclaim, “Whoa! Ginny, come out here and see this!” I padded out in my bare feet, letting the grass tickle my toes and the warmth of the sod send the Earth’s energy through me like a fountain.
\n\n\nHe was right — it was a glorious sunset. We both snapped several pictures on our iPhones, and the last one made me smile. “Someone” was watching me out of those clouds. The first person I thought of was Mr. Virgo, checking in on me…riding on sunbeams to touch my heart. Even though he’s been gone twelve years now, and I’m happily remarried to a wonderful man that he would surely approve of…he is never far away, even when he’s riding in the clouds with Jesus.
\n\n\n💜
\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\nHe heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. 147:3
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***Gratitude Journal*** Today, I am grateful that God brings me the remembrance of loved ones passed and heals my heart with a sunset.\n\n", "date_published": "2025-06-10T04:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2025/06/10/the-face-in-the-clouds.html", "tags": ["Faith","Comfort","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2025/03/18/noshing-with-the-monday-stitchers.html", "title": "Noshing With the Monday Stitchers", "content_html": "\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/b444d42361.jpg\")
I really look forward to our stitching group on Monday Mornings, although…if it were my choice, we’d meet at a more civilized time than 9:00AM on a Monday Morning. But, beggars can’t be chooser and this forces me to get up and do something productive. I’ve been crocheting lately…making baskets for the girls for Christmas gifts.
\n\n\nI took some Sourdough Cinnamon Rolls with me for snacks yesterday and they were a big hit. I was going to take homemade pop tarts this week, but since I baked all day yesterday and cleaned the kitchen forty-two times, I decided I’ll take them next week. I kind of stumbled upon them by accident and now, I can’t wait to make more. I’ve decided I can make one sweet treat a week. We don’t need to be eating all that sugar.
\n\n\nThe weather was a little cooler yesterday with some rain during the night. I’m still going to tough it out in the camper even though last night was predicted to get down to 31° last night. At first I wasn’t feeling the joy that I normally feel, but now that I’ve been out here a few times, and we’ve booked our first camping trip of the year…I’m getting excited again.
\n\n\nI need to make a trip to Colorado every year to see the kids and my brother, and we really enjoy pulling the camper out there and spending a month. But that’s getting too pricey. And, my old truck is the only thing we can reliably tow the camper with and I have 163,000+ miles on it. That trip to Colorado and back is really hard on it and right now, we don’t have the money to replace it. So I’m having to come up with an alternative. In order to make it more affordable this year, we’ve decided I’ll go out by myself.
\n\n\nI’ve never taken the train that far before. I took it from Colorado to California a couple of times. The first without a sleeper, and the second with an economy sleeper which was perfectly adequate. However…sleepers are incredibly expensive so I’m ruling that out. I could rent a car but I’d still have to drive out there and I don’t drive more than 400 or so miles a day. It would take me a few days each way. That brings up the subject of lodging. If I have to stay in hotels, it becomes cost prohibitive again.
\n\n\nI haven’t flown since before the Covid lockdown for a number of reasons. Once the quarantine was lifted, passengers were becoming increasingly unruly. Then prices continued to rise and now planes are falling out of the air. I know intellectually that flying is probably the safest form of transportation, but I will really have to give myself some huge pep talks to get on a plane. I think that’s the most logical solution, though. I can get there fast and not be so exhausted when I arrive. I’ll have to rely on my peeps to give me lots of encouragement and prayers, though. I’ve turned into a bit of a weenie in my old age! lol
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/6933246ed8.jpg\")
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I’ve got four months to psyche myself up for the adventure! In the meantime, spring is breaking out all over! Our forsythia are starting to bloom and the flowering quince has nice fat buds on them. The iris had shot up six or eight inches. There are daffodils all along the road into town and I’ve seen lots of crocus. Mrs. FixIt 1.0 had beautiful crocus and jonquils along the edge of her house, but she told me yesterday the frost nipped them. I’m glad I got some pictures the other day when they were at their peak.
\n\n\nSo, it’s only Tuesday and I need a margarita but since I don’t drink…I ate a cinnamon roll. That’ll do!
\n\n\n💚
\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n“The flowers are springing up, the season of singing birds has come, and the cooing of turtledoves fills the air.” Song of Songs 2:12 NLT
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***Gratitude Journal***\n\n", "date_published": "2025-03-18T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2025/03/18/noshing-with-the-monday-stitchers.html", "tags": ["Comfort","Fear","Courage","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2025/03/06/the-conflagration.html", "title": "The Conflagration", "content_html": "\n
Today I am grateful our little great grandson wasn’t hurt too bad on Sunday. He had a little altercation with a tiny dirt bike and cracked a bone in his wrist. Three weeks in a cast and he’ll be good as new! My husband’s family is mine too and I’m so thankful to add them to my brood.
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/f29dee496f.jpg\")
I lived in Colorado for forty years and witnessed so many terribly destructive forest fires there. The worst was the Storm King Fire where we lost 14 smoke jumpers from Idaho. Then, eight years later came the Coal Seam Fire. That one was sneaky.
\n\n\nBack in the late 1800’s, there was an explosion in the Vulcan Mine across the Colorado River from New Castle. They could not put it out and it’s been burning ever since. It was too dangerous to mine that seam anymore, so the mine was sealed shut and they just let it burn. You can see the coal seam in the winter because the snow won’t stick on it. There’s a long, dark streak along what is appropriately called Burning Mountain.
\n\n\nEvery once in a while, the fire follows a finger of coal and breaks through the ground. Most of the time, that’s been in rocky areas and the only sign is a wisp of smoke till that part of the seam burns out. But, in the case of the Coal Seam Fire, it broke through in some dry scrub oak and quickly took off.
\n\n\nI’ve been thinking about that and how it fits in as an analogy of the world today.
\n\n\nThere has been evil in the world ever since Eve plucked the apple from the tree. It slinks and lurks and hides in the shadows most of the time. Then it breaks free and comes to the surface threatens to burn everything down. I know, some of you may think I’m talking about the politically charged times we’re in, but it’s not just that. It’s the world at large. A general bad vibe going around. And it doesn’t seem to matter what side of any issue you find yourself, each feels the other is wrong and it feels like there’s no way to reach the middle ground. So many hard things happening everywhere and it wears on you.
\n\n\nThe Bible tells us about the end times, and if these are they, I’d just as soon Jesus come and get us and take us home sooner rather than later. Now, I am NOT thinking of self-harm…that’s the furthest from my thoughts. But I now the streets of gold are better than anything we can imagine here. That means we have to get right with our Maker.
\n\n\nI’m personally trying to clean up my side of the street, apologize where needed, make amends where possible, and spend my efforts on praising God and my family and friends for the goodness they have brought to my life. Thanking Him for being a loving Father. And putting out as much goodness as I can while I’m still here.
\n\n\nI’ve find when I look for the bad things, that’s all I see. And that’s the way media and pundits want it…to be at each other’s throats. It makes it seem as though that’s all there is in the world because everyone is screaming so loud…”Look here!” “Look there!” “He did it!” “She did it!” “They did it!” I do what I think is best and express my opinions through an app…5 Calls. I call my elected officials while I’m having my coffee. Then I get on with my day. It’s like leaving your work problems at work. I don’t WANT to carry all this all the time. I have to spend my time wisely.
\n\n\nI got a message from one of my readers yesterday that lives not too far from me. She’s interested in my sourdough bread and I’m interested in the honey she and her fiancé harvest. I love to barter! Hmmmm…maybe there will be a Marshmallow Ranch Bakery? That sounds interesting!
\n\n\n☘️
\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n“Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter.” Isaiah 5:20 NIV
\n\n
Gratitude Journal\n\n", "date_published": "2025-03-06T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2025/03/06/the-conflagration.html", "tags": ["Self Care","Courage","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2025/03/02/the-lone-pine.html", "title": "The Lone Pine", "content_html": "\n
Today I am grateful for the ability to make priorities and walk away from the craziness of the world when I need to keep on a more even keel. Self care isn’t selfish!
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/1fbc39f98a.jpg\")
When I wake up in my “inside bed” and look out the window, I see the sun hitting the ridge line on the other side of the near field. Through the bare bones of the deciduous trees stands a lone pine tree…tall and statuesque. I smile when I see her in her evergreen glory watching over the valley floor below. We have some mighty winds that come through here from time to time and I always worry that one day I’ll look up and she’ll be gone.
\n\n\nThis lone pine has stood there for decades since she broke through the emergent layer of the forest…thin shoots of oak from acorns and pine from pinecones and all the underbrush that grows beneath the towering trees. It’s not easy for them to make it to their grand heights. There’s steep competition for sunlight and nutrients not to mention the threats of disease and injury.
\n\n\nSince I’ve been back in West Virginia, I’ve been intrigued by the myriad varieties of trees growing in the hills of Appalachia, so I’ve been studying them. Every once in a while, I’ll see a walnut or hickory tree growing when they aren’t really close to others of that ilk. Interestingly, squirrels are natures most prolific tree planter. They bury seeds and nuts here and there to sustain them over the long winter months when food is scarce. Fortunately for us, they sometimes forget where they buried them all so they sprout and can grow into trees. They’re the little furry Johnny Appleseeds of the forest.
\n\n\nThere’s a hickory tree along the driveway out at the farm. I usually gather up the nuts when they’re still encased in their hulls. Sometimes I dry and hull them, but there’s never enough to do anything with. Usually I set them out on the front porch and eventually the squirrels or chipmunks find them, leaving the dried hulls behind as evidence.
\n\n\nIt made me think about the good things we leave out in the world unseen. The things that may feed us when times are lean, or that feed others when they’re in trouble. Things like kindness, charity, goodwill, honor, diplomacy, friendship…love. Things that we give to the world and to others knowing full well they cannot give in return. These are the things that show the true character of us as a people. Standing up for the downtrodden is the most honorable thing we can do. Our forefathers died to lift up the least of these in the image of Christ.
\n\n\nWhether planting a tree or planting the seeds of love, it’s a noble thing indeed. Let us always strive to be the beacons of light for those less fortunate.
\n\n\n☘️
\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n“Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out.” Proverbs 17:14 NIV
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***Gratitude Journal***\n\n", "date_published": "2025-03-02T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2025/03/02/the-lone-pine.html", "tags": ["Faith","Hope","Love","Courage","Kindness"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2025/02/12/ten-ways-to-keep-from.html", "title": "Ten Ways to Keep From Losing Your ****", "content_html": "\n
Today I am grateful that I have Jesus as a Savior and a role model.
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/74ccdea932.jpg\")
Wow…we’re all getting whiplash with the rapid fire changes going on in our country. I won’t go into ways you can stay involved. You’ll figure out what you want to do based on your own personal beliefs. What I want to talk about today is how to not drown in the rapids.
\n\n\nThere is fine line between staying informed and being totally overwhelmed. That’s true anytime…not just now. I found myself trying to watch all the things and being informed on all the things. I’ve felt overwhelmed and lost, confused and scared. Our brains are not built to sustain that kind of stress. We don’t know what to do when someone takes advantage of that. We don’t know where to turn when we seem to be losing all we have known. I know not all of you are feeling this and I honor the fact that we are all free to our own beliefs.
\n\n\nI’ve found some tools to help me stay balanced when things get stressful. And it doesn’t just apply to politics. It works in any scenario that is causing you stress…grief, illness, tragedy. Here are ten ways to keep your head on straight in times of trouble.
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/c64c37fcc4.jpg\")
So, that’s my list of suggestions to help keep yourself on an even keel. I hope this helps. If you have more to add to the list, please share with us in the comments. Be safe out there…be good to yourself, and each other.
\n\n\n💜
\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”” Joshua 1:9 NIV
\n\n
***Gratitude Journal***\n\n\n
Today I am grateful for all the tools in my mental health toolbox. I was blessed to have a good therapist that helped me get through some really tough times in this life. Mental Health and Physical Health is just…health.
#mentalhealth, #selfcare, #askforhelp
\n\n", "date_published": "2025-02-12T09:02:39-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2025/02/12/ten-ways-to-keep-from.html", "tags": ["Self Care","Courage","Mental Health"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2025/02/11/the-language-of-rebellion.html", "title": "The Language of Rebellion", "content_html": "\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/5823411453.jpg\")
In yesterday’s post, I lamented that I didn’t like the Super Bowl halftime show. I’m not a big fan of rap. I’ve heard of Kendrick Lamar, but I can’t say that I haven’t listened to any of his music. So, I was a captive audience…mainly out of curiosity. As I watched the measured choreography, my brain struggled to find some understanding in his craft. I couldn’t help but think I was missing something. Something told me he was sending out a message…that this was an anthem of rebellion of some type. But, try as I might, my white-bread brain couldn’t suss it out.
\n\n\nIn yesterday’s post, I lamented that I didn’t like the Super Bowl halftime show. I’m not a big fan of rap. I’ve heard of Kendrick Lamar, but I can’t say that I have listened to any of his music. So, I was a captive audience…mainly out of curiosity. As I watched the measured choreography, my brain struggled to find some understanding in his craft. I couldn’t help but think I was missing something. I had a feeling he was sending out a message…that this was an anthem of rebellion. But, try as I might, my white-bread brain couldn’t suss it out.
\n\n\nGranted, I couldn’t understand the lyrics. Thinking back, I caught enough words to make me want to investigate further. I don’t like explicit rap. But I came to understand this was Lamar’s art as activism…his paint and canvas. In much the same way as Michelangelo’s sculpture, David…was a symbol of resistance against the powerful Medici patronage in Florence. Marcel Duchamp, Otto Dix, Jasper Johns, Banksy, Picasso…all famous artists that used their work as the language of rebellion against the rise of fascism, war, famine, racism, dehumanization, Apartheid.
\n\n\nKendrick Lamar was speaking in his own language about something that runs deep in the fabric of our history. For example, the image of the dancers forming an American flag while bent over symbolized how America was built largely on the backs of black people. His songs “40 Acres” hark back to the inhumane practice of slavery. “Wesley’s Theory,” “For Free.” There was symbolism of Uncle Tom and Jim Crow…all in an effort to remind us…the NFL may take the “End Racism” signs down, but we need to keep our eyes open. Unfortunately, it still happens.
\n\n\nI’m not getting into a political discussion. I was just interested in the symbolism and how it fits into our society as a whole. Unless you are a multi-linguist and speak many languages, you really only understand your native tongue. It’s understandable that there will be any forms of free speech that we do not comprehend. But, we can learn…open our minds and hearts…and look into the hearts and minds of others. This is part and parcel the message Jesus gave us…
\n\n\n💜
\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\nLove one another as I have loved you. John 13:34
\n\n
***Gratitude Journal***\n\n\n
Today I am grateful for a God who can give me an open heart and mind to learn and grow in my love and understanding of others.
#understanding, #compassion, #art
\n\n", "date_published": "2025-02-11T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2025/02/11/the-language-of-rebellion.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Growth","Grace","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Change","Insight","Healing"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2025/01/20/lifting-others-up.html", "title": "Lifting Others Up", "content_html": "\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/cc5cb0a991.jpg\")
Wowza…it snowed another three inches or so yesterday. I’m thinking Mr. FixIt got a touch of frostbite on Friday when he fed the birds in his mesh tennis shoes. (I know…he heard about it.) I didn’t want him to go out and get cold again so I ran the snowblower. That little battery-powered gizmo is pretty handy. The snow was a little heavier than the dry snow we’ve been getting so it wasn’t quite as easy to clear. But I made short work of it. Miss Pumpkin always sleeps in the big 30x40 building in a cat kennel with an electric cat bed to keep her toasty warm. She also has a heated dish so her water never freezes. I always stuff a towel under the door to keep out the drafts. And yesterday I took out an old quilt and covered the big wire kennel that the cat kennel is in. I may even put another quilt between the cat box and the kennel for added insulation. She is the most pampered feral kitty in the ‘hood.
\n\n\nWe watched football all day and I heated up the leftover broccoli cheese soup for supper. We were cozy and warm and safe in our home. They canceled bowling last night so I was really glad Mr. FixIt didn’t have to drive to town on those slick roads. Even though the salt tuck goes up and down the road in front of our house, that is still a treacherous two-lane blacktop with lots of twists and turns and hills between here and town.
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/0ba66537d2.jpg\")
Our low last night was predicted to be 6° and tonight’s will be 3°. Tomorrow’s however is predicted to be -5°!!! Yikes! There is a young man in Parkersburg who has made it his life’s work to lift people up, help them get off the streets and stop using drugs. His name is Moon King and when he puts a request out on social media for supplies, the community comes out in droves to get him just what he needs. He’s an amazing young man. He busks with his guitar to raise money to help his fellow man. I’m in awe of his selflessness. Most young men his age are too busy chasing corporate dreams to give up everything for his community. God bless him and the others who make such sacrifices.
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/6be06feecf.jpg\")
Today is Martin Luther King Day where we celebrate and honor a man who fought for equality. Having a heart for service is a lofty goal. The Lord loves a cheerful giver. We can’t all be Martin Luther King or even Moon King, but there are small ways we can contribute to “the least of these” that Jesus talked about. How do you help others? Do you volunteer in person, or do you contribute monetarily? Do you collect food or clothing or blankets for the less fortunate. Does your church have a soup kitchen or a local ministry that you assist with?
\n\n\nMay we always look out for others…no matter who they are.
\n\n\n❄️🩵❄️
\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n“Religion that is pure and undefiled before God the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.” James 1:27 ESV
\n\n
***Gratitude Journal***
\n\n\nToday I am grateful that even in dark and cold times, there are angels unawares among us who seek to help and lift up others selflessly.
\n\n\n#gratitude, #MLK, #service, #volunteering
\n\n", "date_published": "2025-01-20T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2025/01/20/lifting-others-up.html", "tags": ["Grace","Courage","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2024/08/08/a-good-heart.html", "title": "A Good Heart", "content_html": "\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/1818ac9e89.jpg\")
A lot went on during our trip out west. Things I wasn’t at liberty to talk about at the time but I’ve since gotten permission to share. I haven’t told you a lot of things so I’ll go back in time to catch you up. Three years ago, we went to Colorado in September for my brother’s 70th birthday party. Hubby #2 was there with his wife because we’re all still family and we love each other. I noticed his ankles were really swollen. The first thought that came to mind was, “Something’s wrong with his heart.” I’ve worked in medicine much of my life…I know some things.
\n\n\nA few months later, he called me to tell me he had a genetic abnormality that caused an enzyme secreted by the liver to harden his heart. There is no cure. There was only one option at the time and that was a medication. It wouldn’t cure the problem, but it could extend his life by a couple of years. The only thing was, the medicine was $125,000 a year. Big Pharma had the corner on the market for people with this very rare condition. We all prayed for him and the gears turned quickly. He was able to get the medication but it was still $1500 a month out of pocket. I’m just grateful he could afford the drug…too, too many cannot.
\n\n\nThe medication did its thing and Hubby #2 indeed had a pretty good couple of years. Till he didn’t. He had an elective surgery then things went downhill quickly. The day we left for our trip to Colorado, I got three calls. My brother was on his way to the ER with chest pain, elevated pulse, and his blood pressure was dropping. My son-in-law’s parents came down with covid. AND, my second husband was being admitted to the hospital for IV medication to get some of the excess fluid out of his body.
\n\n\nThe trip didn’t get started on the right foot.
\n\n\nFortunately, my brother was fine. He just needed some fluids. We made other arrangements to give Ben and Sue time to get over Covid. But there was still no improvement with Hubby #2. He was told the medicine wasn’t working anymore and the only option left was a heart transplant. He called me again to let me know he had lived a good life…he was ready to go. There are three genetic mutations that could cause his disease. Two with bad news…one with good. He thought his genetic mutation was one of the bad ones. That meant, even if he went ahead and got a transplant, the enzyme would harden the new heart and he’d be in the same position in two more years. He didn’t want to get a heart that could truly help someone if he was just going to die anyway in a relatively short time.
\n\n\nTwenty-four hours later, the entire situation changed. It turned out Hubby #2 had the wild gene…the good one. They were transferring him to Denver for an intensive three days of testing to see if he was a good candidate for a transplant. He told me he was so scared. I told him, “Listen…you’re a doctor. You know you get all the facts first then make a decision. Go. Get the testing. If you aren’t up for it, we’re behind you 100%. Nobody is going to hate you for your decision. If you decide to get the transplant, we’ll be right there making sure you have everything you need. We've got you. God’s got you.”
\n\n\nHis is a story of courage, bravery, and faith. Hubby #2 went on a rocky ride tangling with these three character traits when he looked death in the face. He had excellent mentors to counsel him on his walk. And he has a wife of strong faith to encourage him, to stand beside him and love him through all of this. He had a successful transplant on July 3rd…the day we got to Ben and Sue’s house. Counting the time before he was transferred to Denver, he spent eight weeks in the hospital. He was discharged from the hospital the day we left Colorado to come home. He still has to stay in Denver till three months after the surgery before he can go to his own house.
\n\n\nI’m so proud of him. It took incredible strength to do what he did. And, I’m so happy for him. My heart breaks for the family who lost a loved one in order to save one of our own. I hope they find comfort knowing there are lives out there saved by their selfless and beautiful gift. I am forever grateful my children didn’t lose their dad and there wasn’t another widow among the ranks.
\n\n\nGod’s hand was on this situation from the beginning.
\n\n\nPlease, if you can…become a donor so you can help others have the chance to live better lives. It means the whole world to the recipients.
\n\n\n💖
\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n“Just as water mirrors your face, so your face mirrors your heart.”
\nProverbs 27:19 MSG\n
#hearttransplant, #heartdisease, #family, #courage, #strength, #bravery, #faith
\n\n", "date_published": "2024-08-08T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2024/08/08/a-good-heart.html", "tags": ["Faith","Health","Family","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2024/06/21/a-challenging-day.html", "title": "A Challenging Day", "content_html": "\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/5bdab214e6.jpg\")
I woke up yesterday morning to the news that my dear friend Sharon passed peacefully at 3:30am. She was surrounded by those who loved her most. They took turns holding her hand, stroking her hair and face, talking to her. They stood around her bed and sang along with her favorite songs. They laughed and shared stories. And they ushered her along to God’s arms, just the way she wanted it. I am saddened by our earthly loss. I am heartbroken for her family that they had to lose her at the young age of 71. At the same time, I rejoice that she has shed this earthly body and she feels no more pain. I know I will see her again…someday.
\n\n\nIt was one thing after another yesterday and it ended with Mr. FixIt walking in from hauling branches to the brush pile. He was covered in blood from the middle of his forearm down over his hand. I jumped up and got him in the bathroom before he bled on the carpet. When I finally got him cleaned up, it wasn’t all that bad. One of his medications slows his clotting factor and any little cut or scratch looks like an ax murder. It’s always something when we’re of a certain age, isn’t it?
\n\n\nOn June 4th, my daily blog post talked about the goodness of God. I have long thought there is a bias in the algorithms on social media when it comes to the subject of faith. When I post my Sunday Evening Prayer Circles, they only get sent out to a handful of people. Then, on the evening of the 4th, I got a message from FB saying that my post that day went against the rules and it was removed. They said it was misleading and looked like a trick to get people to follow the link to my website. They gave me the opportunity to protest it and they would review their ruling. I sent in the request and waited. I didn’t say anything on the page till I heard back from them. They said their first ruling stands and it was misleading.
\n\n\nI’ve read that post ten times and I cannot see anything that is misleading or is different from any of my other posts. I can’t repost it, because if you get too many dings, they can bump you way down in the algorithms. I can, however, put this paragraph in here and tell you that you can go to my website and reread that post anytime you want. Because only the first paragraph of my posts reside on the “book of faces.” At the same time, I reported a different page that purported to be about the beauty of WV. The photos they post are AI generated and don’t look anything like my beautiful home state. And their link takes you to a cheap t-shirt shop. The powers that be, ie a bot, reviewed my report and they didn’t find anything wrong with that page…they weren’t “breaking the rules.” Nothing to see here. Go figure.
\n\n\nThis is why I started my own website in the first place. We don’t know how long this social media mega-corporation will be around and I’ll be darned if I’m going to lose the sheer volume of writing that I’ve shared here. Sometime in the fall, I’m going to take a sabbatical for a few months and really work on my book. It needs to get done…time’s a waistin’. It never gets more apparent than when one of my dear friends dies. I’ll let you know when the time comes, but I wanted to give y’all a little heads up. I know you’ll wait for me here! And you can always go back and reread some of my earlier works.
\n\n\nI spent the day keeping my mind busy trying to update a very old GPS unit. “Mavis” has been with me and told me where to go since shortly after Mr. Virgo died. He was my navigator because I cannot find my way out of a paper bag with both hands and a flashlight. I’ve come to rely on “Mavis” telling me what lane to be in at least a quarter mile beforehand. I know I can use my phone’s navigation programs. But there’s something about that big screen that keeps me oriented. I’m a visual learner, so just listening to the directions without seeing where I’m going drives me nuts. I do run Waze on my phone at the same time because that has a setting to alert you when you’re over the speed limit or if there’s a hazard up ahead. She also tells you if there’s a policeman hiding up there somewhere. Add Mr. FixIt and his innate sense of direction and I literally can’t get lost! If it weren’t for “Mavis,” my solo traveling would have been a nightmare.
\n\n\nI think we’ve got all the mechanical bugs worked out on the vehicles now. Mr. FixIt had the tailpipe of his exhaust system welded back together yesterday. And Freida the Ford is running like a top!
\n\n\nCounting down the days…six more sleeps!
\n\n\n☀️
\n\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2024-06-21T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2024/06/21/a-challenging-day.html", "tags": ["Courage","Choices","Strength"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2024/03/10/a-terrible-loss.html", "title": "A Terrible Loss", "content_html": "\n“I can do all things through him who strengthens me.”
\nPhilippians 4:13 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/f094c1ad65.jpg\")
We were young and in love…the first love for each of us. We got married young and I moved to England where my first husband was stationed in the Air Force. A year later, we had our only child together…my “sweet little pink bundle,” as my mom called her. Time went on, and as can happen when you marry young, our relationship didn’t last. We went our separate ways and a few years later, we each remarried.
\n\n\nHubby #1 and his new wife had a baby of their own…a little boy. Bright and spunky with a million questions, Daughter #1 was smitten with her little brother. He arrived the summer she turned thirteen and she always looked forward to seeing him when she visited her father. He became a good caricaturist and drew magical creatures and anime characters. He never married and found a career at the local Kroger Store. He rode his bike all over town. On his dad’s last birthday, he bought him a book of “Dad Jokes” that ended up as daily posts on Facebook for all to enjoy. He had a kind heart and always looked for the good in people.
\n\n\nI received a text Friday afternoon from Hubby #1 that broke my heart. His son..that gentle giant of a man…died unexpectedly of genetic cardiac disease at his home. They found him there when he hadn’t shown up for work. Everyone is crushed. Even with all my years as a sort of “grief mentor,” I was at a loss for words. A snatch death is so shocking. They’re there…then they aren’t. But when it’s your child? What can you say? There are no words that can offer comfort or change things.
\n\n\nWe are tempted to TRY to change things and make them better when someone we love is hurting. There are things we can do. It’s customary to bring food to the home of the bereaved. But when you live far away, there is still a way to contribute. How about “grief groceries?” You can go online and order some things and have them delivered to them. I’ll do that down the road…they have plenty now.
\n\n\nIt has always been my belief that if divorce comes to you, there are choices you can make. You can remain bitter enemies and hate each other forever. You can drop out of each other’s lives and never have any contact. If there was abuse in the marriage, often both of those choices go hand-in-hand. In our case, my relationship with my first husband kinda went through both of those phases till I matured and remembered there was a reason we married in the first place. We share a child and grandchildren. I was determined that just because we were no longer married to each other, it didn’t mean we couldn’t still love and respect each other.
\n\n\nI’ve made it a point to remain in contact, befriending his wife, and loving this son of another mother. It’s much better for the kids and grandkids to keep them from feeling they need to choose between us. Love trumps hate…always.
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/d303c84280.jpg\")
This is the cover photo on Eddy’s FB page. He was always an encourager.
\n\n\nMy continued prayers go out to my first husband and his wife. And to everyone who knew and loved Eddy. May his memory forever be a comfort.
\n\n\n🙏🏼
\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n”So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.“
\nIsaiah 41:10 NIV\n
#loss, #grief, #comfort
\n\n", "date_published": "2024-03-10T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2024/03/10/a-terrible-loss.html", "tags": ["Grief","Prayer","Comfort","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2024/03/08/the-matriarch.html", "title": "The Matriarch", "content_html": "\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/a5f5b8f569.jpg\")
My grandmother was fifty-six years old when I was born. My grandma was only forty-eight. Yet…they seemed ancient to me when I was a little girl. Their hair was gray and their skin was soft with wrinkles. Blue veins traced rivers on the backs of their hands and brown “liver spots” dotted their arms. They were magical beings with vast knowledge of such things as the perfect chicken and dumplings and soothing slices of jelly bread. They kissed away booboos and loved me unconditionally…my grandma most of all.
\n\n\nI was standing in front of the mirror at The Farm yesterday morning, brushing my own grey hair and pinning it up in a bun just as Grandma had always done. I never knew her to have short hair. As far as I know, she had never cut it or gone to a beauty shop. And she never had bangs. I’ve been letting my bangs grow out. I trimmed them myself through the pandemic so I just kept doing it. Then I waited a little too long and was afraid I’d botch it up. Not wanting to go to the hairdresser, I decided to let them grow out to see if I like them. I don’t NOT like them. I wore my hair swept back when I was growing up. My bangs are getting long enough to sweep them back when I pin my hair up, as long as the bun is high on my head. The jury is still out. I think I notice my face more and maybe that’s not a bad thing. I don’t feel the need to hide anymore and this is a little liberating.
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/45e4fadaab.jpg\")
That’s me in the center of the photo with my uncle and cousins going for a ride in the old Model A truck.
\n\n\nMy Noom lesson yesterday was on self confidence and giving yourself compliments. We are quick to compliment others, yet we are so hard on ourselves. My exercise for the day was to stand in front of the mirror and give myself a believable compliment…out loud. I stepped closer to the mirror and looked at myself critically. I’ve always had a distinct widow’s peak and that’s why I’ve worn bangs. I was self conscious of the receding hairline on either side of my face. I finished brushing my hair back and said to the girl with the grandmother face who was smiling at me.
\n\n\n“You have a kind face. Your eyes crinkle with your laughter and twinkle with happiness. Every line on your beautiful face reminds you of the multitude of smiles you’ve given over the seventy years your presence has been known here. You are exactly as you were meant to be and exactly where you belong!”
\n\n\nI gave myself a big hug and you know what? I felt better! Why are women so hard on themselves…and on each other? We should be celebrated for the glorious and powerful creatures we are! We should be lifting each other up at every turn and encouraging each other with positivity, love, and grace. I used to be so threatened by other women. And now? No way! I am past all that. I am of the mind that if another doesn’t like me or accept me as I am, they are not deserving of my time and energy and I release myself from the burden of bearing the weight of something that is no longer mine to carry.
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/e630e2a9e2.jpg\")
I took this picture because, honestly…I don’t see that angle of myself. I wanted to see what the roadmap of wrinkles on my cheeks were up to. When I looked, I smiled. I’m not sad to have my grandmother’s face or my grandma’s long hair swept back in a bun. I’m honored to be counted among the crones.
\n\n\nI am the matriarch now.
\n\n\n🩵
\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n”Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.“
\nProverbs 31:30-31 NIV\n
#Matriarch, #Aging, #PositiveAging, #InternationalWomensDay
\n\n", "date_published": "2024-03-08T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2024/03/08/the-matriarch.html", "tags": ["Self Care","Uplifting Stories","Strong Women","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Peace","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Courage","Aging","Presence","Change","Memories","Mental Health"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2024/03/02/when-your-heart-hurts.html", "title": "When Your Heart Hurts", "content_html": "\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/8e050b6220.jpg\")
My heart hurts every day. I hate election years. And, let’s face it…when ISN’T it an election year anymore. Between that, the Medicare enrollment period, and the regular news of tragedy after tragedy, we are constantly bombarded with horrific images and rhetoric. So, how do we cope with all these things? I decided to sit down and come up with a list of things I can actively do to help reduce the stress I feel around these uncertain times. I’m sure you can add things, too. Let’s work together to bring more love and light into the world. Here’s what I came up with:
\n\n\nSend out as much love into the world that you possibly can on a daily basis. Jesus spread love everywhere he went. He didn’t pound people over the head and threaten them to get them to comply. He lead people. He didn’t scare them into following him.
\n\n\nBe the love and light of Jesus at every turn.
\n\n\nYou’ll feel better. We’ll all feel better. Let’s make it a better world.
\n\n\n🩵
\n\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2024-03-02T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2024/03/02/when-your-heart-hurts.html", "tags": ["Grace","Love","God","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2023/11/30/opportunities-to-rise.html", "title": "Opportunities to Rise", "content_html": "\n”“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”“
\nJohn 13:34-35 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/8429a2043b.jpg\")
We stopped at an art gallery and I saw this amazing nativity. I’ll share more photos tomorrow.
\n\n\nMr. FixIt and I needed to leave home by 10:30 so I could drop him off at his friend’s house and make it to lunch with my friends at 11:30. I fixed us a quick breakfast and we sat down to eat and have our coffee. The sun came out and we were thrilled the temperature was going up as it got down to 13° during the night. I took a sip of coffee and glanced over at the wall above Alexa and there was a ghostly apparition above it. I studied for a minute and finally realized the sun was reflecting off the window bird feeder. I couldn’t have had some fun with Mr. FixIt but I opted for adulting. lol
\n\n\nI had so much fun meeting with my high school friends at lunch. We laughed and told stories and shared memories. I love to see us at this age. We’ve gone full circle. Most of us really only made friends as adults, but you’d never know it. For some reason, our class is really tight. We talked about how meaningful it is to know people now who may not have treated us well in high school. When we come to realize everyone suffered the angst of adolescence in different ways. And the majority of them grow up and become pretty cool folks.
\n\n\nOne of the gals told us she was at a class reunion and a group of gals came in who had heckled her in high school. She sat back and figured they would leave her alone. Instead, they all came over and asked her to go sit with them. She had heard one of them had breast cancer. She asked how the lady was doing. She said she was doing really well…great in fact. Then…she died three weeks later. She thanks God that she had the opportunity to rise above.
\n\n\nThe same thing happened to me. One of the girls who gave me all kinds of grief in gym class wanted to come to the next reunion. She had never attended and she felt nervous about it. I had connected with her on FB a few months before to encourage her to come. She told me she was afraid people wouldn’t like her because of the way she treated them in school. I assured her we had all grown, and if there were anyone still holding a grudge, it would be an excellent opportunity for her to mend some bridges. She showed up and folks welcomed her with open arms. And… a few weeks later, she died instantly of a heart attack.
\n\n\nSometimes God gives us opportunities to resolve conflicts long before we are called to the Golden Gates. When we have the wisdom and maturity to step up and make things right, it’s good for our soul. When we can clear things off the slate, we not only get to talk to God about the bad thing, we get to talk about how we made it right. He knows, of course. But He wants to hear it from us.
\n\n\nI hated to pull away from our conversation, but I needed to get Mr. FixIt to an appointment so I rushed off. When we were finished, we stopped at a little restaurant we neither one had been to. We had a lovely meal and when we got ready to leave, I couldn’t find my phone. Mr. FixIt couldn’t call it because he left his in the truck. The ladies in the next booth offered to call my phone so I could find it, which I did. I turned to you and said, “Well, now you have my number, you can find me anytime!” I stuck my hand out and said, “I’m Ginny McKinney!” She paused and looked at me a moment. “From Marshmallow Ranch?” OMGosh! This lady came to a talk I gave at her church seven years ago! It’s a small world, isn’t it?
\n\n\nWe went on and made a stop at the store, then headed home in the dark. It was a good day and I’ll be darned if I don’t have to go back in today for a follow up medical appointment of my own. It just seems to be a never-ending thing at this age. As much as I would love to stay home, I’m grateful to have the opportunity to see good doctors and have adequate healthcare. I’m grateful it’s nothing worse. I’m grateful no one is dropping bombs on us or stealing our neighbors away at gunpoint or killing our children. We are so incredibly blessed to live in this country and we all need to start acting like it.
\n\n\nSo go out there today and do something good for your neighbor. Mend your fences where you can. And bless ‘em where you can’t. Life is too short to hold onto anger and resentment. It’s the poison you take hoping it hurts the other guy.
\n\n\nGod bless you all today. I love y’all!
\n\n\n🎄
\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n“And the Lord spoke to Moses, saying, “Speak to the people of Israel, When a man or woman commits any of the sins that people commit by breaking faith with the Lord, and that person realizes his guilt, he shall confess his sin that he has committed. And he shall make full restitution for his wrong, adding a fifth to it and giving it to him to whom he did the wrong. But if the man has no next of kin to whom restitution may be made for the wrong, the restitution for wrong shall go to the Lord for the priest, in addition to the ram of atonement with which atonement is made for him.”
\nNumbers 5:5-8 ESV\n
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
\n\n\nChristmas Words… this tree of words reminds us of what we should all focus on this season of goodwill.
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/80ade26253.jpg\")
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/70e0e1a970.jpg\")
Photo Credit: 9/11Memorial.org
\n\n\nThose of us who were glued to the TV for days will never forget where we were or what we were doing that dreadful day. We must never forget. For those who forget our history are doomed to repeat it. Our world changed that day…one of those pivitol moments where you can never go back to the way it was before. A collective grief. And now, a place rebuilt from the ashes. A place to remember, but also a place to live…the way those lost would want us to live.
\n\n\nLet’s remember the camaraderie we felt toward each other in those weeks and months after the disaster. We can get back to that. Let’s make America KIND again. Let’s bring back HOPE, and LOVE, and PEACE.
\n\n\nPlease.
\n\n\nhttps://www.911memorial.org/connect/commemoration
\n\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2023-09-11T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2023/09/11/remembrance-day.html", "tags": ["Faith","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Memories","Strength"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2023/08/17/boring-photos.html", "title": "Boring Photos", "content_html": "\n“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.”
\nJohn 13:34 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/e846f818d5.jpg\")
When our grandchildren have grandchildren of their own, they’ll have entirely different photo albums than we did. Well, they probably won’t even have photo albums. They’ll have the Cloud. That ought to be fun at parties. Anyway, I saw a comedy routine the other day and the comedian was lamenting about photo albums. Our grandparents had great photo albums. If we were lucky, the names of the people in the photos were written on the back, or underneath the picture. When we said, “Who’s that, Grandma?” she’d tell us that was your great-great-grandfather when he got back from the Civil War. Or, “That’s your great aunt. She worked in the shovel plant during the war.” Worldly things. Honorable things. Great things!
\n\n\nOur great-grandchildren will ask about pictures and their parents will say, “That’s what Grandma had for supper on August 16, 2023.” Or, “That’s me taking a picture of myself doing fish lips.”
\n\n\nFun times.
\n\n\nI came up to my friend Gail’s house on Tuesday because our mutual friend was driving through on a road trip. We like to take whatever opportunity we can to have a visit, however brief it is. Our friend heads on today and I may stay on another night for some extra Gail time. She fixed an amazing dinner last night….baked salmon, tiny potatoes, and fresh green beans. I made a double batch of homemade Roasted Red Pepper Hummus yesterday. I’ve always heard it’s so much better than store bought and man…they weren’t kidding. This stuff is killer. I’ll leave the recipe here for you. The only down side is it’s 190 calories for a 1/4th cup serving. I wonder if it would taste the same without all the olive oil in it?
\n\n\nI worked on more fall t-shirts yesterday. I think they came out nice. I continued knitting on a pair of socks I started back in February. There just aren’t enough hours in the day to do all the things! We’re going on a little “field trip” before our friend leaves. There’s a thrift shop we really love. Unfortunately, a lot of the businesses on Main Street in East Palestine, OH have closed since the train derailment and subsequent chemical disaster.
\n\n\nThis is the first time I’ve been here since the disaster. All night long, I lay in the bed in their cottage next door and listened to trains going by…one after another…speeding through this little town that is still reeling from the consequences of dumping thousands of gallons of carcinogenic chemicals into the air, soil, and water. There are still hundreds of people displaced from their homes and living either in hotels, campers or with family or friends. You can’t drink the water. You can’t eat the vegetables from the gardens. It’s just awful.
\n\n\nPlease keep the folks of East Palestine and so many other places who are suffering from man made disasters in your prayers. They need them!
\n\n\n?
\n\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2023-08-17T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2023/08/17/boring-photos.html", "tags": ["Prayer","Courage","Friends"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2023/08/14/the-old-woman.html", "title": "The Old Woman", "content_html": "\n“I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.”
\nIsaiah 45:7 KJV\n
![\"aging](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/738b56eab2.jpg\")
\"We Were Young and Beautiful...Now We Are Just Beautiful!\"
\n\n\nAn old woman came to my door today. I’ve known her since I was in my early twenties. I lost track of her in my thirties. Then, she moved in with us when I was in my early forties. She was usually pretty quiet. She struck me as sad though she never told me that. When I turned fifty-three, I moved away and she didn’t come with me.
\n\n\nI see her every once in a while…more so the last couple of years. She hovers in the background, watching….and waiting. She doesn’t impose. She’s very polite in her waiting. I’ve felt her nearby. I’ve kinda been anticipating a visit.
\n\n\nAnd yesterday…she knocked on my door.
\n\n\nProverbially.
\n\n\nWe had to work on the lawn. The storms are coming hard and heavy every couple of days. It’s making the grass grow and interferes with our ability to mow it. The growth was getting a little out of hand. Along with this grass growing, the hedgerow is creeping incrementally into my mowing space. When it gets to the point that I can’t bend forward and mow under the overhanging branches, it’s time to get out the loppers and do some trimming.
\n\n\nWe have thorny things that grow out there. Multiflora rose. Russian olive. I don’t know what all, but they are insidious and grab at your skin and clothes. I cut a pretty thick branch off and when it came down, I grabbed for it and missed. A sharp bit snagged the skin on the back of my hand and tore my skin like paper.
\n\n\nKnock, knock, knock! Anybody home?
\n\n\nI was shocked. The old woman looked down at my hand…holding it gently in her own.
\n\n\n“There it is.”
\n\n\n“There what is?” I demanded.
\n\n\nShe took out a tissue and slid the paper thin triangle of skin back into place and wiped away the blood. She looked deep into my eyes, as if to size me up. Was I going to cry? Was I going to cuss a blue streak?
\n\n\n“It’s ok. It happens to everyone eventually.” She brushed a wisp of flyaway hair behind my ear, touched the beautiful feather of a red-shouldered hawk I picked up in the field. “They bring you peace, don’t they? The birds.”
\n\n\n“Yes, they do. I won’t mow over one of their feathers if I can help it.” I said, giving her the side eye. I wasn’t exactly thrilled she decided to show up today.
\n\n\n“You have all this beauty around you. Your birds give you the gift of their feathers. You wear your silver crown well, you know. Are you going to let this little thing with your skin get you down?”
\n\n\n“No. It’s just so…shocking, I guess. I’ve taken care of elderly people with fragile skin since before I turned twenty. I just didn’t expect to see it today…on my hand.”
\n\n\n“Well, don’t worry yourself over it. I’ll be nearby to guide you whenever you need me.” She patted me on the back and turned to walk back into the woods.
\n\n\nI watched her fading into the dense foliage. “Wait! Who ARE you???”
\n\n\n“Don’t you know, love. I’m your Guardian Angel. I’ve been with you all these years. You are quite the assignment!”
\n\n\nAhhhhh….of course. I’ve known she was there all along. I’m just really glad she met me in the woods on this sunny Sunday and let me know…aging doesn’t have to be bad or scary. It just…is. The first little tear of fragile skin is as much a right of passage as starting your period or getting your heart broken.
\n\n\nIt’s ok.
\n\n\n?
\n\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2023-08-14T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2023/08/14/the-old-woman.html", "tags": ["Strong Women","Wisdom","Courage","Aging"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2023/06/30/day-two-a-lesson-in.html", "title": "Day Two - A Lesson in Patience", "content_html": "\n“Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”
\n2 Corinthians 4:16-18 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/1d3e7b1b7c.jpg\")
While our total miles from Point A to Point B was actually shorter than Wednesday’s, wowza…was it different. And LONGER time-wise. And more exciting Mother Nature wise.
\n\n\nEvery morning when we start out driving, I hold the cross that hangs from my rear view mirror and ask God to wrap his arms around us. To build a wall around us to keep us safe. And, with all the heat, thunderstorms and tornadoes doing on in the midwest, I asked him to control the winds.
\n\n\nWe drove along uneventfully for a couple of hours when I could see the sky darkening along the western horizon. I asked my trusty navigator to check the weather app radar to see what we were heading into and when, he let out a long whistle when he saw it. I knew that wasn’t good. We were hungry and needed a bathroom break and pulled into a large open parking area by a big metal building.
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/3c0aebb038.jpg\")
We weren’t in there fifteen minutes when I looked out and said, “OMGosh!!! We need to go now!” I didn’t feel safe all exposed like that. We jumped in the truck and made it to the next exit where there was a Love’s Truck Stop. After a few tries, I weaved the truck and the camper through the mass of parked vehicles and went around back. I parked so that the brunt of the wind would hit us square into the back end. This made our wind resistance lower. The rain was coming down in torrents. I looked up at the cross and said, “Lord…I need that wall about now!” Just then, this great big motor home was coming in. There were plenty of places for him to park over on the other side and it looked like he was going to turn into one of them. Then, he stopped for a few seconds, and made a beeline over to us. He parked snugly between me and southwest winds. Thirty seconds later, a huge truck pulled in behind us and blocked ALL of the wind! We had our wall and I thanked Jesus for keeping us safe!
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/7f12e9c4d0.jpg\")
We road out the storm. The winds died down and the lightning lessened…as did the rain. We watched the huge wall of red pass over us on the radar as it headed eastward. The big truck behind us left and we followed shortly after.
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/16fe0a3109.jpg\")
Our next obstacles were several areas of road construction that had us stopped like a parking lot on the interstate. We waited for the first. On to the second. There were trees down and the grasses were plastered flat to the ground looking all the world like a giant had slicked his green hair down with a comb. Limbs and leaves were everywhere. By the third stop, we literally could have gotten out and walked around for a while. We weren’t going anywhere. When we finally did make it through, we saw the culprit. There was a large boom truck parked alongside the interstate and its huge arm was holding up the power lines that were slung low to the ground from the powerful storm. On ahead, we were stopped yet again. This time it was a semi that had been blown over on its side from the wind.
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/603a40bae8.jpg\")
Finally…we broke through the bottleneck and made it to Jubilee College State Park Campground. The college itself was founded in 1839. I wish we had more time to explore, but the campground was huge and quiet and affordable at only $20 per night. We made sure everything was put away last night so we can get an earlier start today. We have over 400 miles to drive today and we don’t want to get in late. We like to have a nice meal and relax a little, maybe play some cards or watch some videos together and get a good night’s sleep.
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/7f1f24ac2c.jpg\")
I’ll check in tomorrow. And keep those prayers coming…they’re working!!!
\n\n\nTwo more sleeps!!!
\n\n\n?
\n\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2023-06-30T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2023/06/30/day-two-a-lesson-in.html", "tags": ["Prayer","Camping","Gratitude","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2023/06/15/what-we-see-matters.html", "title": "What We See Matters", "content_html": "\n““Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.”
\nMatthew 7:7-8 NLT\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/ce6b876e84.jpg\")
The Bible tells us that our eyes are like lamps that bring light into our bodies. The health of our eyes will determine if our bodies are healthy, filled with light…or unhealthy, filled with darkness. I’ve been pondering this a great deal lately. Without delving into politics, I will say we are being given many opportunities to practice this noble and wise scripture this week. I knew in my heart that the events of Tuesday were liable to serve as a key to open the floodgates of angry and hateful rhetoric.
\n\n\nThere are people who planned hateful things on Tuesday. I kept hearing rumors of it, never dreaming it would come to my doorstep. Then I received a private message on my Facebook page by some man I did not know. Usually those are fairly innocuous pleas to make them the happiest man in the world and send them a friend request. Yeah…that’s a hard pass, fella. You’d have to get up pretty early to pull one over on me.
\n\n\nThis message was different. My profile picture for the month of June is a series of colorful stripes with the word ALLY across it…in support of my daughter and her wife and my countless friends who are members of the LGBTQ+ community. The message I received was hate filled with ugly, vulgar terms to describe who I am for displaying such a thing. My first thought was shock. I surely wasn’t expecting something like that. Then I was angry and frustrated because this is what my beautiful daughter and daughter-in-law face on the daily.
\n\n\nThen I felt pity. Pity that people feel they need to treat others with such hatred and ugliness. Pity that he obviously doesn’t know Jesus. The Biblical Jesus that I know. I knew his eyes must be unhealthy because he had such darkness in him. I wish he knew how much Jesus loves him and how much better his life could be if only he would find Him. I’m witness to know the incredible difference a life walking with God makes. I prayed for his salvation, then I blocked him and reported the attack to Facebook. I did not engage him because that’s what people like this want. Reaction. I failed to give him that.
\n\n\nTuesday night, Daughter #2 called to wish me a happy birthday. She wanted to know all about my day and when I asked her about hers, she said it was great…right up to the very last minute before closing. She received a phone call at work from a man that sounded pleasant enough. He asked if they carried a certain product. She said they did. He went on to tell her why he needed it and the thought maybe he was oversharing a little bit so she just made a pleasant comment about how glad she was it helped. Then he said, “Well enough about that. Let’s talk about the f.i.n.a.l s.o.l.u.t.i.o.n. There’s J.E.W.S out there, you know!” (For those of you who do not know what that is, it’s what the N.a.z.i.s called the H.o.l.o.c.a.u.s.t.) I am writing this with p.e.r.i.o.d.s between the letters of certain words to keep from drawing the attention of nefarious people.
\n\n\nNow, you have to understand…my daughter grew up J.e.w.i.s.h in a small community in Colorado. She was bullied all through school because of her religious identity. As a matter of fact, it was so bad it caused her to self-harm and nearly drove her to s.u.i.c.i.d.e. So when this guy called and laid that on HER doorstep, she didn’t miss a beat and lit into him with the same mouth I used to kiss good night when she was little. She is fierce and stands up to people. Unfortunately, in this day and age, that can be outright dangerous and as soon as the words were out of her mouth, she knew she had given him exactly what he wanted.
\n\n\nI’m not telling you this to stir things up. I won’t engage in debates over things such as this. I’ll do all the things I can to combat hatred in all forms. And I’ll pray fiercely in hopes that we can somehow normalize kindness and love our neighbors again. We cannot hide our heads in the sand and think this kind of thing isn’t happening everywhere. But we CAN choose wisely what we let into our eyes and make a conscious effort to feed the light.
\n\n\nThere are two animals within us…a good one and a bad one. The one we feed is the one who survives.
\n\n\n❤️?
\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n““Your eye is like a lamp that provides light for your body. When your eye is healthy, your whole body is filled with light. But when it is unhealthy, your body is filled with darkness. Make sure that the light you think you have is not actually darkness. If you are filled with light, with no dark corners, then your whole life will be radiant, as though a floodlight were filling you with light.””
\nLuke 11:34-36 NLT\n
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
\n\n\nBring Peace into your garden with one of my photographs and a fitting scripture…John 14:27
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/6e514ad7f3.jpg\")
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/76f5524202.jpg\")
When I think of Memorial Day, the two prominent images it brings to mind is a huge tree at the cemetery where my dad’s people are buried…and this photo of my Uncle Sonny. I remember all the military members of my family but we didn’t just decorate those graves. We decorated and remembered everyone we’ve lost over the years.
\n\n\nThe big tree isn’t there anymore. The derecho of 2012 took that monster out…tearing it in half. Somewhere in my mom’s collection of photos is one with my brother and me at the cemetery decorating graves. We used to put on our Sunday best, pack a picnic lunch, and set up boards on sawhorses right there in the cemetery to eat our fried chicken and potato salad and watermelon. I was stunned when I learned there were actually people who didn’t do that every year!
\n\n\nThe photo of my Uncle Sonny sat on the buffet in grandma’s dining room for as long as I can remember. He was killed in a plane crash just a month before I turned two. Mom said he loved me silly…he carried a picture of me nekkid on a rug in his wallet. I wish I could have known him and by the hundreds of tales and photos, I feel in a way that I did. I do know this…he was a believer and I will see him one day in Heaven with my people!
\n\n\nMr. Virgo was in the Army as was his farther. My dad was in what was called the Army Air Corps…the predecessor to the Air Force. All of my fathers-in-law were military men. My step-mother was career Navy. So I remember them all this day. And all the others who have gone before me.
\n\n\nMr. FixIt and I will go decorate graves sometime this week. I need to go to the farm for a couple of days to be there for the telephone company to hook up the new fiber optic lines. Here we are, just two miles from the county seat and we barely have cell service, but way out that winding old road of my youth…they have fiber optic. Good for them! Ours will come one of these days.
\n\n\nI hope you have good memories of your loved ones today, and that you are able to honor them in some way. May their memories bring you comfort.
\n\n\n“All gave some….some gave all.”
\n\n\nThank you…and may you rest in peace.
\n\n\n??????????
\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n“Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”
\nJohn 15:13 NIV\n
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\n\n\nSympathy Comforter
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/64225629be.jpg\")
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/fa59d4a8c8.jpg\")
It all started when I decided to leave the rat race of medicine and try to make a living from my own creativity. I dropped down to part time at the neurology office and started making art jewelry from antique silverware and maps. As a matter of fact some of you have been with me since the very beginning and can remember my little Etsy shop. When I lost Mr. Virgo, I tried to keep the shop going, but once I sold the Colorado house and hit the road in my camper I kinda lost my mojo.
\n\n\nTime passed and adventures came and I finally ended up on The Farm…the home of my heart. And I ran into Mr. FixIt…the holder of my heart. And now…its been ten years since Mr. Virgo’s passing and it’s time to turn a corner and do something wonderful and fresh and fun to take me through the NEXT ten years! The joy of my heart!
\n\n\nMarshmallow Ranch is back on Etsy once again!!!!!
\n\n\nIt looks decidedly different than it did in the “old days”. My art is different. My skills are different. Shopping experiences are different. And most importantly…I AM DIFFERENT! What I am presenting to you today is a whole new vision that incorporates my art, my graphic design skills, my quirky sense of humor, and my desire to connect with people in ways I haven’t even thought of yet.
\n\n\nI’ve been working diligently on this project and I’m very happy with the way it turned out. I am offering ways for you to own my art…in the form of my photography, my compositions and graphic design elements, and my words…on clothing, accessories, shoes, tea towels, candles. From kitchen items all the way up to suitcases. I’ve combed over this time and again…and I’m sure there still are things that need to be tweaked a little here and there.
\n\n\nThere is a button pinned on my Facebook page as well as one on the blog that will lead you right to the shop. It’s not quite as easy to head back to the blog, but the quickest way is to use the back arrow key on your browser page. If you find things that need fixing, please don’t hesitate to let me know and I’ll fix it as soon as possible.
\n\n\nI hope you like the new shop. The category of listings is in the sidebar to the left. I will be adding things going forward…more home goods, clothing, and accessories as well as vintage items. And perhaps I’ll get back in the studio and make pretty things again with my hands one of these days. I hope you’ll keep me in mind for your shopping and gift-giving occasions!
\n\n\nAnd, as in all things…to God be the Glory!
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/964a701e5b.jpg\")
Enjoy!!!
\n\n\n?
\n\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2023-03-27T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2023/03/27/marshmallow-ranch-is-back-on.html", "tags": ["Fun","Growth","New Ideas","Gratitude","God","Courage","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!","The Shop"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2023/02/18/my-bubby-my-hero-my.html", "title": "My Bubby, My Hero, My Friend", "content_html": "\n“…whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.”
\n1 Corinthians 10:31 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/a4d77fb1d2.jpg\")
I know I’ve written about him here. I’ve told you stories…maybe you remember them. Maybe you don’t. But he owns the biggest piece of real estate in my heart and it’s so full of love for my big brother. I just have to write again because yesterday pulled at my heartstrings.
\n\n\nFrom my earliest memories, I was his champion. I interpreted for him when others couldn’t understand his speech impediment. If anyone so much as looked at him wrong, I was ready to take them down. I was his protector. He was my loyal friend.
\n\n\nI knew he had more going for him than mom thought. She treated him like a child…cutting his meat, doing his laundry, counting out his medicines. If I was his protector, Mom was his Protector in Chief. That’s why she kept him close. No one could love and care for her boy like she could. No one.
\n\n\nI saw his potential. I knew he could learn more, do more, live more. He could read. As a matter of fact, he has always been a voracious reader. He has a penchant for non-fiction…autobiographies, mainly. He’ll tell you he likes to read anything. Except spooky things, and what he refers to as “lovey-dovey” stuff.
\n\n\nOur mom was only seventy-eight when she died. She got sick, really sick, but she refused to go to the hospital because she wouldn’t take my brother with her and she couldn’t leave him home alone. So, she laid on the couch for five days till I threatened to call the ambulance myself. Finally, I called her sister and told her she had to go to mom’s and take her to the ER.
\n\n\nShe was gone twelve hours later.
\n\n\nI’ll never forget the time I came for a visit and the topic of Gary’s care came up. I promised her I would see to it that he was always well taken care of. She looked at me and cocked her head. The wheels were turning. She was summing up what I was saying. Or, more accurately…what I wasn’t saying.
\n\n\n“What do you mean? You’ll be taking care of him in your home, of course!”
\n\n\n“Mama…you know I love my brother as much as I love life itself, but that will not work for me OR for him. He needs to have opportunities to learn and grow and experience things in a loving, nurturing environment. Somewhere with people who are trained to give him the life he deserves. Like I said, I will fight to the death to make sure he is well cared for and he’s happy. But it won’t be in my house. I hope you’ll understand.”
\n\n\nI wasn’t about to lie to her and tell her “Of course!” I loved and respected her too much for that. I’d been after her for years to bring him to Colorado and let him participate in the very program he is now involved with but she refused. She wouldn’t listen. But, my brother did. He never forgot there was a place for him in this world and he was determined he would live there.
\n\n\nI told you all about my decision to keep him in the capable hands of these earth angels. I told you I felt guilty because I thought I could bring him here till I found out the funding would be an insurmountable obstacle. I told you his six month evaluation was coming up. And I was dreading it.
\n\n\nMy stomach was in knots for the last three days. I was afraid of hurting him or disappointing him. I was afraid he would balk at the suggestion. His evaluation was yesterday and I sat in via video chat. We were happy to see each other. His beard was trimmed. He was a sight for sore eyes, as my grandma used to say.
\n\n\nThe meeting went well. We’ll move foreword with plans. They’ll take him over to hang out with the new housemates, two of whom he has known for many years. They’ll start getting him to the day program and let him take the shuttle bus to town to shop since his mobility will be a little decreased in the new place.
\n\n\nThe best part? He was enthusiastic and he totally understood about the funding issues and why we couldn’t bring him here. I told him I would send an Amazon Echo so we can video chat more frequently. I think it will help both of us to see each other more often.
\n\n\nI am relieved. God is so good…and so generous to us.
\n\n\nThank you, Jesus…for looking out for my Bubby!
\n\n\n?
\n\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2023-02-18T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2023/02/18/my-bubby-my-hero-my.html", "tags": ["Family","Gratitude","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2023/01/20/up-above-the-world-so.html", "title": "Up Above the World So High", "content_html": "\n“For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways;”
\nPsalms 91:11 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/54d78efc1c.jpg\")
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/e200510b5a.jpg\")
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/9116b89ae9.jpg\")
As I was writing this last night, I could hear a really big jet going over us here at Marshmallow Ranch. I pulled out my phone and opened the FlightAware app to see where these folks had been. Where were they going? It was a Galistair Airbus A330-300. It’s a twin-engine wide body jet that can carry between 250-440 passengers! Cost efficient and profitable. These folks were flying out of Pittsburg and heading to Mexico City. They had only been up in the air less than half an hour and were already at about 38,000 feet. The average price of one of these bad boys in 2018 was $262.2 million. Three classes…coach, business, and a First Class that would tempt the best of us to be all bougie like.
\n\n\nWe get a lot of big jets going over us. I’m so glad I found this app because Mr. FixIt announces where all these people are heading from time to time. Outside stacking wood? You might find out that heavy roaring overhead may be heading for Istanbul or Australia or London. Maybe they took off from Dayton or Chicago, Atlanta or New York. Or Pittsburg. What takes us three hours or so to drive, took the Galistair around twenty minutes.
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/86a3a63b47.jpg\")
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/77bedae1a4.jpg\")
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/14b907438e.jpg\")
The very first time I traveled alone was when I was barely twenty years old. I took a little prop plane out of Parkersburg, flew to Philadelphia, then on to JFK. I had a couple hour layover in New York, then I was gobsmacked when I got to fly in a 747 to London Heathrow. What an absolutely amazing experience! After the previous three flights in progressively larger and larger planes, the 747 felt like a flying football stadium!
\n\n\nI wanted to soak in every minute of that experience. I flew coach, of course. But it felt like a royal palace to me. There was a real meal served…on china with real silverware. I couldn’t imagine how nice First Class must have been! There was a musician a couple of rows up in front of me. We all noticed he boarded with his guitar. Somewhere over Newfoundland, he took the guitar out as they dimmed the cabin lights and handed out pillows and blankets. Then this magic man played soft, dreamy music and the passengers settled in for an impromptu lullaby.
\n\n\nI awoke somewhere around 4:00 in the morning. If you listened carefully, you could hear a whispered voice here and there, murmuring to their seat mate. I quietly lifted the window shade and caught my breath. In the midst of the darkness, a tiny fleck of light had appeared. The further east we flew, the brighter it got. Then, that light started to spread in either direction till there was a golden band of light with dark purple and blue bands above and below.
\n\n\nAnd, when the sun itself peeked over the horizon, well…all I can say it was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen in my unworldly life. I was dumbstruck. How often do we get to see moments that truly take our breath away? How many times are we amazed by this world we live in? When you have been at death’s door…when you have watched your spouse die before your eyes…you shut down. Then, when you begin to wake up, you never see the world the same way. You see beauty in everything. It is magical when the colors come back in your world.
\n\n\nI’m not sure when I’ll get to fly again…or even if I want to. But those memories take me along for the ride whenever I wish and I can live my life all over again…albeit vicariously.
\n\n\n✈️
\n\n\n\n\n\n“If I ride the wings of the morning, if I dwell by the farthest oceans, even there your hand will guide me, and your strength will support me.”\n\n", "date_published": "2023-01-20T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2023/01/20/up-above-the-world-so.html", "tags": ["Travel","Courage","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2023/01/14/calling-all-butterflies.html", "title": "Calling All Butterflies!", "content_html": "\n
Psalms 139:9-10 NLT
\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/b4f68a8875.jpg\")
I stumbled across this meme the other day and knew I needed to use it in one of my blog posts. It’s true…if you chase after butterflies, they’ll fly away. But if you build a beautiful Butterfly Garden, the butterflies come to you. Attract what you want…don’t chase it.
\n\n\nThis was a big a-hah moment for me. For years, I’ve been chasing success. What is success in the blogosphere? Well, some would say the number of followers you have. That’s part of it. Some would say a good indication of success is financial. That’s true, too. Doing something you love while helping people is a HUGE part of it. For me…my primary goal is to spread the light God so generously gave me with others. To help them navigate the rough bumps in the road of life. To let people know they are not alone.
\n\n\nBut that finance thing…that’s important, too. We’re at that point in life where we are depending on a pretty fixed income and who knows how long even that will be around given the current political climate. So, diversifying and planning for any scenario has become important to me. I’ve set goals for 2023. I sat down the first week of the year and wrote out my list of things I wanted to try to monetize my blog.
\n\n\nI don’t want to have advertisers if I don’t have to. I would rather use my own wits and skills to generate income. That was the goal when I started Marshmallow Ranch ten years ago…to supplement our income with things I could sell. In those ten years, many possible avenues for a little “side hustle” have been introduced and I’ve decided to try one of them.
\n\n\nQuite often, I share a helpful or unique product I think you might like. I put a link in the post so you can go see it. Most often it’s something offered through Amazon. Whether we are fans or not of the big boxes with the smiles, they are hear to stay. And for Mr. FixIt and me, they are a lifesaver. We live way out in the country and with the price of gas and the wear and tear on the car and tires, we’ve chosen to utilize Amazon Prime and shop online as opposed to shopping the big box stores in town twenty-five miles away.
\n\n\nI’ll let you in on part of my new project. I’ve enrolled in the Amazon Affiliate Program. This means if you buy one of the items that I share a link for, I will get anywhere from 2-20% of the price of the item. That’s not a ton, but here’s where it really helps. If you purchase one of my recommended items, then go on shopping and buying what you were going to buy anyway…I get the same percentage of that purchase, too. The beauty of this is…it does not raise the price of the items and there is nothing out of your pocket. It’s a win-win situation and if I work at it, there can be some good income for me.
\n\n\nThere’s more to reveal in March when I have all my ducks in a row, but for this…there is a tiny bit of a time crunch. I need to have some some qualified sales in the next 180 days in order to be accepted in the program. And that’s where I could use your help. If you see something you like and wish to buy, you can click the link on my post and buy the item yourself. Or, you could copy and paste the link and share it with someone you know who might be in the market for such things.
\n\n\nI’ve prayed a lot about this and for some reason I’ve had a huge burst of joy and energy over the project I’m building. When I feel that, I know I’m heading in the right direction and this could be a factor in my success. I won’t spam you about items. Whatever I recommend will be treated the same way as I always have in the past. Thank you so much for always continuing to love and support me on this incredible journey I’ve been on.
\n\n\nLike I said, March 12th will mark TEN years since Mr. Virgo died. This is the first time I’ve headed into that anniversary with anything but sadness. This time, I’m heading in with a sense of sober recognition and hopeful anticipation for building something great these last however many chapters there are of a well lived life. I’m turning 70 in June. The best is yet to be!
\n\n\n?
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2023-01-14T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2023/01/14/calling-all-butterflies.html", "tags": ["Fun","Gratitude","Courage","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/12/24/the-modern-madonna.html", "title": "The Modern Madonna", "content_html": "\n“I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.”
\nJeremiah 29:11 MSG\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/841884bedf.jpg\")
Let’s face it…we don’t live in a Hallmark movie. Relationships are complicated and oftentimes messy. We can turn to any given channel on the TV at this time of year and see beautiful depictions of perfectly decorated houses with perfectly obedient children eagerly awaiting the appearance of the jolly old elf himself.
\n\n\nMost of my demographic have grandchildren and great grandchildren, so we are a little past the frenetic activity leading up to Christmas. But as the day approaches, we push to create the most perfect holiday so our loved ones have wonderful memories long after we’re gone. The cookies are baked. The house is decorated to the nines. The pantry is full of all manner of delicacies. So…why do we feel so let down when it’s all over?
\n\n\nI think it’s because we’ve held onto these ideals all our lives thinking each holiday MUST be better than the one before it. We do ourselves a huge disservice with that attitude. I’m trying something different this year. I’m trying to let go of any and all expectations, preconceived notions, feelings, judgements, hurts, wrongs, memories and go into the holiday as if I’m a brand new person. I’m pretending…just like I used to when I was a little kid. I’m staying in this moment without judgement and saying…this is my first Christmas! My first holiday dinner. My first wrapping of presents. It’s taken a huge weight off my shoulders and released me from my self-imposed bondage of perfectionism.
\n\n\nOur grandson called yesterday. He’s working long, hard hours so his children can stay home with their mama and not have to go to child care. He ordered something for her and it came to the Post Office, but he wasn’t going to get out of work till really late. He asked his Grandpa if he would go over the hill to town to pick up the gift so he could give it to his sweetest girl. Of course Grandpa said yes. And we even had a nice gift box to put the present in so he wouldn’t have to wrap it.
\n\n\nThis young lady is such a good mama to two of our little great-grands. Mommin’ ain’t easy…especially to two rambunctious little boys. I wondered what special gift the boys’ daddy would give their mom that would honor who she is to their little family. When he arrived to pick up the gift, he said, “I have to open this…I really want you to see it!”
\n\n\nHe bought her a blanket…with one of his favorite photos on it. It wasn’t some posed picture of scrubbed faces and clean clothes that was at the center of his heart. It was a candid picture he took of his love…sick and exhausted with a tissue stuffed up her nose, leaning back in her chair with one of her precious boys, feverish and sleeping in her lap.
\n\n\nAt first, I laughed. Then I thought…OMGosh! She’ll kill him. Then I thought…nope, she’s going to love this as much as he did. She’s going to know…truly know how much this young man loves her. Because, any man who’s going to work and work really hard for every dime then take that hard earned money and put it towards a picture such as this is a good guy. I felt happy for them…proud of them for not taking the easy way out.
\n\n\nNo, “Mommin’ Ain’t Easy”. But it’s a whole lot easier when you can just live in the moment and leave that sack of stinky stuff you’ve been hauling around behind you all these years and release it where it deserves to stay. In the past…where it can’t hurt you anymore.
\n\n\nWhen we let go of all the trappings and expectations of a consumerist society, it allows us to focus on the real meaning of Christmas…the birth of Christ in a lowly manger in Jerusalem. Where the Blessed Virgin may very well have reclined against a makeshift bed amongst the animals in the barn…exhausted from the hard labor of the day. Holding her beloved baby in her arms. I wonder if Joseph might have snapped a photo of his beloved such as the one our grandson took had cameras been around so long ago? Yes…this warm and comforting blanket reminds me of a Modern Madonna…holding her precious child in her arms…and leaning into the moment. With no expectations more than mindful, unbridled love.
\n\n\nMay we all remember what this holiday is about.
\n\n\nMay we all have a blessed celebration of the Christ-child’s birth.
\n\n\n?
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2022-12-24T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/12/24/the-modern-madonna.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Comfort","God","Holiday","Courage","Choices","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/11/29/lifes-cycles.html", "title": "Life’s Cycles", "content_html": "\n“For God loved the world in this way: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.”
\nJohn 3:16 CSB\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/8f04878ca6.jpg\")
I’m sliding into seventy years on this earth. That’s a monumental milestone that is looming in my not to distant future. Six and a half months, to be exact. And, like I’ve done every other time I face a milestone, I’ve been getting quiet and introspective. In that introspection, I’ve been feeling a new awakening. A momentary clarity that shakes things up and makes me think…makes me ask questions.
\n\n\nAm I being true to myself?
\n\n\nAm I on my path?
\n\n\nWill I complete my purpose in the short time I have left?
\n\n\nI mean, let’s be honest here…I have a lot more years behind me than I have in front. The end doesn’t scare me necessarily. I’m not in a hurry for it to get here, by any means…but, I’m not afraid. If there is any fear at all, it’s that I won’t finish what I came here to do….whatever that is.
\n\n\nI haven’t read much since Mr. Virgo died. I read the Bible. I read short stories like the news and current events and feel good things. But to sit down and read a book cover-to-cover…I haven’t done that in years. I don’t know if it’s because I don’t have the patience, or if I’m afraid of what I’ll discover about myself. Whatever it is, books…other people’s writings…haven’t really held my interest for a long time.
\n\n\nI have a dear friend starting her third year of widowhood. She’s just heading into that year of self-discovery…of great personal growth…of figuring a lot of things out. I marvel her tenacity and strength. She’s a lot younger than I was at her point on the road. We were talking a couple of weeks ago. She went on a sabbatical in the desert southwest and took every tool she had with her. She told me she discovered a book that shook her to her core and I really needed to read it.
\n\n\nIt’s a collection of lessons from many of today’s notable figures from various schools of thought…curated by Oprah Winfrey. People seem to either love Oprah or…not. Personally, I love her. I love her insights in the human condition. She asks the questions that interest me. She is well spoken, well educated, and has experienced enough hard knocks in life to soften her edges. I appreciate her for the work she does in the world. So, I ordered the book.
\n\n\nThe Path Made Clear takes the reader into a series of “rooms” where sets of life lessons are presented. Each room covers a point on the path we all must walk in this life…from the “Seeds” of our early awakening to coming “Home.” I’ve been savoring it slowly, like someone sipping a 50 year old scotch…letting the richness and fullness of the spirit wash through me. It’s the first book I’ve been able to fully absorb and I’m loving it.
\n\n\nI feel as though my spirit has been dormant for a while…like I needed a break from “seeking” anything deeper than mowing the lawn and baking sourdough. My psyche needed a break…a place of rest that I have found with my dear Mr. FixIt. I’m feeling the stirrings of growth again. It’s hard to explain but it feels like a new phase of healing. I lost one of my dearest friends in the world on December 13th of last year. Maybe I’m just coming out of another fog of grief. Whatever it is, it seems ripe with potential.
\n\n\nWe are faced with an entire week with nothing more on the schedule than the internet guy coming on Friday to check our service. I spent the day yesterday reading quietly with my headphones on, listening to a crackling fireplace. I took a break in the afternoon and made a couple of homemade turkey pot pies that are SO delicious. I knitted a little…I need to get this sweater completed so I can get back to the wedding quilt. I placed an order for some Christmas gifts. I’m sleeping better and eating better. I’m just….happy and content to see what’s coming our way as my sixties slip through the hourglass.
\n\n\nI feel hopeful and that’s a lovely place to be.
\n\n\n?
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2022-11-29T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/11/29/lifes-cycles.html", "tags": ["Growth","Courage","Change","Healing"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/10/17/the-river-as-my-muse.html", "title": "The River as My Muse", "content_html": "\n“They are to do good, to be rich in good works, to be generous and ready to share, thus storing up treasure for themselves as a good foundation for the future, so that they may take hold of that which is truly life.”
\n1 Timothy 6:18-19 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/539779b805.jpg\")
Three years ago, I went on a wonderful tour of several of the State Parks in West Virginia. I was blessed with the opportunity to tow around a brand new 2020 rPod for the Annual Girl Camper Raffle. It was a fabulous trip filled with some of the most beautiful scenery you can find in the Mountain State. The fact that it was October and the Mountain Mama was dressed to the nines in her autumn finery made it all the more magical.
\n\n\nI made that trip for the most part on my own. It was reminiscent of the Grand Adventure I went on after losing Mr. Virgo six years prior. Except, this time I had a brand new hubby waiting for me at home. I have to say, Mr. FixIt is truly the best thing that’s happened to me in the last near decade. He knows and celebrates who I am. And he knows I need times of solitude to recharge my batteries.
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/475fc06632.jpg\")
I have a tendency to become much too comfortable with isolation. The lockdown was a horrifying event on the large scale. But staying at home with my sweetheart, learning to bake great sourdough and knitting to my heart’s content was not awful. Here’s my problem with isolation. I quickly don’t want to go back out. I come to fear it. I get anxious at the thought of coming out of my shell and being vulnerable and “on”.
\n\n\nThe busyness of that autumn trip and all the subsequent writing that came along with it was a salvation to my psyche. I found that winter to be one of the easiest I’ve experienced. And coming back out didn’t bring the usual panicky feelings. Then…Covid hit and threw us inside and away from others for the better part of two years.
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/dbb3b7c592.jpg\")
I still don’t do what I did BC…Before Covid. We have eaten in a restaurant a handful of times, and then only on midweek days in the mid afternoon. And we ask to be seated in a corner away from others. It’s ok…it doesn’t bother me. And THAT is the problem…I like the solitude. But I pay for it later when I need to get out and LIVE my life.
\n\n\nSo far, we’ve avoided getting Covid. I suppose it’s highly likely we’ll get it at some point. Thank GOD it has changed since the original virus. Enough people have been vaccinated to tamp it down so it’s no longer a death sentence. It’s still out there, though. Changing and morphing…as though it has a mind of its own and its trying to defeat our immune systems. I believe we will need to continue to be vigilant and the doctors and scientists need to keep a careful watch so that we don’t end up where we were in early 2020.
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/f0682350bb.jpg\")
I’m taking cues from that experience. I’m trying to be more spontaneous. To get out and go places on my own so that I don’t become fearful of that. It’s important for my mental health and happiness to maintain some autonomy so that I don’t lose myself in this marriage. It’s so easy to do that. When you deny yourself for so long, it becomes the norm. We had an active year but there has to be a balance between running like your hair’s on fire and becoming a slug watching Netflix.
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/518988731d.jpg\")
The new mattress arrived Friday and we laid it out on the bed to “inflate” to it’s normal shape. I dressed the bed Saturday afternoon, then Mr. FixIt “camped” with me Saturday night. We woke up yesterday morning, said good morning, and declared the mattress to be a HUGELY successful purchase! Ohhhhh….it was heavenly!
\n\n\nAs we lay there talking our way into mid-morning, I told Mr. FixIt I was going to pack up the camper and head to the dump station to empty the tanks. As I lay there calculating how far it was to the rest area where we do this particular chore, I realized one of our favorite campgrounds was only thirty minutes further.
\n\n\n“You know what? I think I’m just going to go on up the river and get a campsite for the night. Then I can dump the tanks on the way home tomorrow. Is that ok with you?”
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/44fd2f982e.jpg\")
He still thinks it’s strange that I ask him if it’s ok. It’s not that I’m asking permission. No way that’s happening. His answer is always, “You just do whatever you want to do, my baby.” And he means it. There’s no pouting or retribution when I come home. Just open arms and a great big hug. The only thing he ever asks of me is to let him know when I get there and check in periodically so he knows I’m ok. I have no problem with that.
\n\n\nSo, here I am. It was literally the last night this campground was open for the 2022 season so it seems fitting I spent it here. I sat by the river all afternoon…sipping tea, watching the boats go up and down, listening to the breeze rustling the crisp, dry leaves causing a shower of sunshine to litter the ground.
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/eea640ce9c.jpg\")
The river is my muse. Something about the energy here is good for my soul. The fact that there is constant movement is soothing. It is the dichotomy of activity and stillness that draws me, I think. As I wrote this, two barges and a train passed right in front of my camper…at the same time. Life is interspersed with busyness and calm…ups and downs…happiness and sadness. It’s an ever-flowing river of energy that fills me up.
\n\n\n?
\n\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2022-10-17T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/10/17/the-river-as-my-muse.html", "tags": ["Camping","Comfort","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/04/09/when-the-images-are-too.html", "title": "When the Images are Too Disturbing", "content_html": "\n“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you.”
\nIsaiah 43:2 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/54e2dc39e3.jpg\")
Our miniature rhododendron is blooming.
\n\n\nWe had a lovely home day. A bowl of oats. Andy Griffith reruns. Knitting. A visit from my bonus daughter and her husband. We watched the most recent episodes of American Idol. It was chilly and rained off and on all day. At 4:30, we bundled up and headed to town for the youngest granddaughter’s softball game.
\n\n\nWe stopped and grabbed a sandwich on the way and at the last minute, Mr. FixIt called to find out if the game was still on and sure enough…it was cancelled. We whipped into one of our favorite discount stores to pick up some pool chemicals. It’ll be time to start working on that project pretty soon.
\n\n\nWhen we walked back into the house and put our things away, I asked my sweetheart to please wait to turn the news on because I just don’t have it in me. When the news anchor says, “I must warn you, these images may be too disturbing to watch.” I’ve only watched the news a handful of times since Ukraine was invaded. And each time was worse than the last. Earlier this week, I saw the bodies in the streets. I simply cannot do that. It is not good for my health…mental or physical.
\n\n\nI do read the news online to get the gist of what’s going on in the world. I don’t have to read all the stories or look at all the pictures to get an understanding of what’s happening. I read a devastating story about a Russian woman who lives in the states. She was a normal person, a good wife and mother, till she started following the news of the Russian invasion. Something broke in her. She became convinced Russian spies were going to come take her children and abuse them. She became paranoid and heard voices. She started drinking heavily and became violent. And finally, she killed her youngest son with her bare hands. In court, she turned to family members in the gallery and told them she loved them and she doesn’t understand what has happened.
\n\n\nWhat happened is what they used to call a “nervous breakdown”. It a sort of trash basket description of a psychotic break, anxiety, or depression. When I was growing up, once in a while I would hear Mom talking about someone having a nervous breakdown. I sort of looked at it as emotional exhaustion. Something that seemed to happen when people were under an inordinate amount of stress. In my child mind, you got to go into the hospital for a nice, weeklong rest from housework and child rearing. It didn’t seem like such a bad thing.
\n\n\nTill it happened to me.
\n\n\nI was going through a terrible stretch in my marriage to Hubby #2. I was stressed, sleep deprived, and had a baby and a sixteen year old. I coped with alcohol and prescription medications. Sometimes I handled things well…other times, not so much. When he’d had all he could take, he was done. My marriage was over and I was so far down the hill, I didn’t know how I would ever get back up again.
\n\n\nI had that “nervous breakdown”. I overdosed on two full bottles of medicine. After two or three days in our local hospital, I went into a behavioral unit for a couple of weeks to get my **** together. That’s when I found out, it wasn’t a nice week off full of tea and cookies and naps in a darkened room. It was brutal and flat out scary. This poor woman who resorted to murder was out of her mind and it doesn’t sound like she was getting any psychiatric help, even though the police had been called to their home at some point.
\n\n\nI am afraid there will be a tsunami of mental health crises in the aftermath of the pandemic and the current events in the world. I’ve had moments in the last year when anxiety overtook me. But, I’ve been to the bottom in the past and I have more tools in my toolbox than I did prior to that hospitalization. I could recognize now if I needed help more urgently. Not everyone has those tools or that insight into their own behaviors. I urge anyone who is struggling with their mental health to reach out to someone for help. You can start with your doctor or clergy person, your spouse or a trusted friend.
\n\n\nThere is absolutely no shame in asking for help with your mental health. No more so than asking for help with a broken arm or a bad gallbladder. Perhaps this time in our civilization will be the catalyst to finally let go of some of the stigmas surrounding mental illness. No one should be left to their own devices during these challenging times to keep both oars in the water. If you are struggling, please reach out to someone who cares.
\n\n\nWe may not be in the same boat, but we are in this storm together. Let’s walk with each other and lift each other up.
\n\n\n?
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2022-04-09T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/04/09/when-the-images-are-too.html", "tags": ["Health","Fear","Courage","Choices","Insight","Control","Anxiety"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/04/03/a-rough-night-and-a.html", "title": "A Rough Night and a Good Day", "content_html": "\n“The waters closed in over me to take my life; the deep surrounded me; weeds were wrapped about my head at the roots of the mountains. I went down to the land whose bars closed upon me forever; yet you brought up my life from the pit, O Lord my God. When my life was fainting away, I remembered the Lord, and my prayer came to you, into your holy temple.”
\nJonah 2:5-7 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/79df478733.jpg\")
I haven’t had one of my “rough nights” in quite a while. When I was a new widow, every night was a rough night. I remember literally clinging to the side of the mattress and willing myself to live until morning. I rode out wave after wave of grief, fear, and anxiety over and over. It wore me out. I will never forget when the sun started to shine again. Those long dark nights finally started to recede and I didn’t feel like I was struggling as much with my grief.
\n\n\nThen, the hyperparathyroidism started and so many of the symptoms mimic the anguish of grief. I felt like I’d been thrown back in the fire and it was almost too much to bear. Around that time, Mr. FixIt and I started dating. A new love interest grew and it did wonders for my healing. Ours wasn’t a bandaid fix or a distraction to grieving. I still had plenty of grief to deal with, but it did show me there was a light at the end of the tunnel and I could live happily again.
\n\n\nHyperparathyroidism wreaks havoc with my physical and mental wellbeing. I’ve gone a long way toward taming that beast but still, from time to time…and for whatever reason…I have a rough night. It starts with a sharp increase in pain. Then I become fidgety and toss and turn and can’t get to sleep. Then my tired brain says, “You’d better get some rest, kiddo. What if something happens and you’ve got to be at the top of your game.” At that point, anxiety starts to creep in and I get hyper focused on trying to get to sleep.
\n\n\nHave you ever tried to will yourself to sleep? It just doesn’t work. I was still counting the dots on the ceiling at 8:00 yesterday morning. I had long since moved into the guest room so at least Mr. FixIt could get some sleep. I finally drifted off around 8:30 or so and woke up at 12:30. Mr. FixIt was gone. He left for the youngest granddaughter’s softball game. I hated to miss it, but I was so glad he didn’t wake me up. I needed the rest.
\n\n\nThe weirdest thing is, after a night like that, I wake up and…other than being a little tired…I feel like a million bucks and I can take on anything. It’s crazy making. Mr. FixIt left me a note telling me he would call me after the game. I decided to just drive on into town and meet him so we could have a date. We got a salad from a local restaurant and went to “The Point” to watch the riverboat traffic. It was a beautiful evening and the barge traffic didn’t disappoint. When we got home, I knitted while we watched the news and that was the end of the day.
\n\n\nI am so grateful those nights don't show up much anymore. They are maddening but I’ve learned to accept them for what they are…my mind and body crying out for a little TLC and time with Jesus. Curling up in bed with my Bible readings when I’m feeling those waves calms me immensely. I used to listen to the enemy and beat myself up, telling myself I’m “weak” and “crazy” but neither one is true. I am strong and dealing with a physical ailment that I have no control over.
\n\n\nChronic illness is a slippery sucker. No one really knows you have it unless it shows from the outside. I have been so blessed with this platform in which I am constantly reminded I am not alone. There are countless others who have physical and mental struggles to carry. I think God put me here to learn that…and to be there for others as they walk a familiar path.
\n\n\n?
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2022-04-03T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/04/03/a-rough-night-and-a.html", "tags": ["Health","Courage","Control","Anxiety"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/03/25/the-silence-is-deafening.html", "title": "The Silence is Deafening", "content_html": "\n“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.”
\n2 Corinthians 1:3-4 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/a3d5c4ede3.jpg\")
Two years ago, the noise on my Facebook page was horrifying. So much anger and hatred. Politics, Faith, Health, and Interpersonal Relationships were crashing into each other with great waves of sound and emotion. It made my head hurt. It made my heart hurt. I tried listening. I tried reasoning. I tried educating..sharing fact based resources. But it seemed, everyone on the planet believed THEY knew what was right, what was truth, what was fact.
\n\n\nI seriously couldn’t take it. I prayed about it and asked God to please tone down the noise level in my life. Something like a dull roar, perhaps. The message I got was…”Do what I ask of you. Write.” So, I kept writing. And slowly, slowly, slowly…the noise level has dropped tremendously, even in the midst of the current events.
\n\n\nI’m sure there are those who have disconnected from me, just as there are some I have disconnected myself from. Life is too short to live it in constant turmoil. I’ve learned to put a governor on my mouth. I don’t have to always be “right”. I don’t have to know all the answers. I’m not an expert on international relations or politics or science. I’m just a grandma who loves Jesus and has less years in front of me than I do behind.
\n\n\nWhen I look through my newsfeed on Facebook now, it’s filled with friends showing off their grandbabies or their latest quilting project or their favorite music group. There are posts about the news of the day, but these folks are all respectful. If they see something they don’t agree with, they either scroll on by or offer their viewpoint in a non-confrontational way. It’s like…all of a sudden…people are remembering their manners. At least, they are in my little curated corner of the world.
\n\n\nI don’t have my head in the sand. I know what’s going on in the world. And, I dare say, the trolls are still out there…stirring up trouble. But I’ve uninvited them from my party. Consequently, the silence on my page is almost deafening. There is a part of me that wonders what they’re up to. Are they cooking up something bad? Is there another shoe about to drop? I do not know. All I know is, I know how this story ends. I know Who wins…and that’s the side I’m sticking to. Besides, I never wake up a sleeping baby.
\n\n\nI’ll enjoy this peace and quiet. I can pray so much better without all the noise. Our home is more peaceful. I’m sleeping better than I think I ever have. My anxiety reactions are fewer and farther between. It almost feels like I’ve been let out of prison. And, in a way, I suppose I have…albeit a self-imposed one. I’ve prayed over and over and over in the last several months.
\n\n\n“Lord, please change me.”
\n\n\nIndeed…my prayers have been answered. Something inside me has changed. I can’t even describe it other than I have this inner peace that feels like a bubbling spring of fresh water in my chest.
\n\n\nLiving Water.
\n\n\n?
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2022-03-25T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/03/25/the-silence-is-deafening.html", "tags": ["Faith","Comfort","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/03/23/in-times-like-these.html", "title": "In Times Like These", "content_html": "\n“Jesus said to her, “Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.””
\nJohn 4:13-14 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/f8d4bd8894.jpg\")
Paul Harvey once said, “In times like these, it’s helpful to remember that there have always been times like these.” I read that in my morning devotional yesterday and it really struck home. I’m soon to be sixty-nine years old. In those nearly seven decades, there have been plenty of “times like these”. The Cuban Missile Crisis. Assassinations. Wars. Riots. 9/11. The Pandemic. So many challenges. And, through all of them, the biggest sacrifices came in the form of loss and grief.
\n\n\nIt’s easy to let our imaginations run wild and head to the worst case scenarios. There’s nothing wrong with planning and being prepared. But obsessively ruminating over all the bad things is not where God has called us to stand. In Ephesians 6:13, we are instructed to take up the full armor of God so we can withstand the evil of the day and, having done all, to stand firm. Those last six words are the key.
\n\n\nWe need to do our part…do everything we can that God asks us to do, then stand still and watch how he works it all out. Standing still. Letting go. It’s vitally important. Because you cannot hear the voice of God when you’re screaming and in a frenzy.
\n\n\nLife is incredibly beautiful and incredibly hard at the same time. There is so much wonder and so much ugliness. And it all happens at the same time, just not always at the same place. For the most part, we have lived long stretches of what could best be described as a charmed life in this country. We have enjoyed privileges so many in this world cannot even dream of. We’ve come to enjoy that…expect that…even demand that.
\n\n\nEveryone, at one time or another, has experienced great hardship in their lives. The last few years, we have had a collective hardship to bear. Watching the pandemic play out around the globe has perhaps brought us into closer community with our fellow earthlings. We’ve become more aware, dare I say…empathetic. I hope this pulling together continues, because a house divided cannot stand.
\n\n\nOur best way to do that is to remember the scriptures that tell us to not be afraid, to do what God asks us to do, and then stand still…stand firm…and listen to that still, small voice.
\n\n\n?
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2022-03-23T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/03/23/in-times-like-these.html", "tags": ["Faith","Fear","Courage","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/03/21/a-soft-day-at-home.html", "title": "A Soft Day at Home", "content_html": "\n“Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end, keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints, and also for me, that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains, that I may declare it boldly, as I ought to speak.”
\nEphesians 6:13-20 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/6196535ac1.jpg\")
We had a soft day. Nothing pressing. Nothing urgent. Our day of rest and reflection and silent prayerful meditation. Mr. FixIt made oats for breakfast. He watched a little TV. I knitted. We attempted to nap…albeit unsuccessfully. He went to town to visit with his bowling buddies as they played. He hasn’t bowled on a regular basis since the original lockdown and subsequent strokes. His balance is a little off…his hands not quite as before. But he’s all there and healthy so we’ll take that as a win!
\n\n\nI watched the last day of the swim meet. Big knocked several seconds off her personal bests and we were all so proud of her. I’m almost finished knitting the first of another pair of socks. There’s still so much strife in the world and I just didn’t have it in me to write a long post last night. I set it aside and read my book for a while before I went to sleep in the Birdhouse.
\n\n\nToday is a new day. We’ll head to Charleston to run an errand then back home. The time is passing quickly now and we have things to do before it’s time to travel and mow and garden. I’ll be back tomorrow with a full post. In the meantime, be gentle with each other…and yourselves. Till then, here is a feel-good, Motivation Monday post from 2019 to hold you over.
\n\n\n?
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2022-03-21T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/03/21/a-soft-day-at-home.html", "tags": ["Hope","Comfort","Courage","Choices","Kindness"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/03/18/shamethe-center-of-the-onion.html", "title": "Shame…the Center of the Onion", "content_html": "\n“with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.”
\nEphesians 4:2-3 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/5ec0bb7670.jpg\")
I’ve been in therapy a few times over the years to help me deal with some of the more difficult struggles in life. It’s nothing I am ashamed of. As a matter of fact, I’m convinced I am sitting here writing to you from my snuggly camper simply because I chose vulnerability over pain.
\n\n\nIt’s not easy to open yourself up and dig deep inside. You find things lurking in there you forgot you ever experienced. From memories of early childhood sexual abuse to an emotionally abusive alcoholic father to the many men I went through trying to find my father’s love, I stuffed a whole lot of garbage down a drain. But, like all drains…eventually that thing is going to back up on you and it ain’t gonna be pretty.
\n\n\nI’ve struggled to understand my emotions all my life. Being vulnerable here has been one of the scariest yet most liberating things I’ve ever done. One of the hardest, sharpest, deepest, most painful, terribly destructive emotions I’ve ever dealt with was shame. My father’s MO was blame and shame. I can still see him standing in front of me with his disapproving glare. He had a thumb that clicked when he moved it. He would flex it so I would be sure to notice his fist was clenched.
\n\n\nMr. FixIt had to go to town yesterday so after I did some spring cleaning, I browsed through YouTube videos as I knitted. I stumbled upon a TED talk Brené Brown did after her breakthrough/breakdown/spiritual awakening where she talks about shame. Whenever I sit down to watch something like this, I automatically take a physical and emotional inventory. It comes from having so much therapy…this self awareness. It helps me untangle what is going on when I work on something.
\n\n\nAs soon as Brené said the word “shame” I felt my gut tighten. I could feel the word in my chest. Stabbing, unwelcome emotions perked up their pointy little ears and sat at attention…wondering how I was going to deal with this. I’ve learned a lot about shame and how it is at the core of depression, anxiety, overeating, and addiction. I’ve learned to feel the wave of the emotion, understand where it came from, forgive the perpetrator, forgive myself, and let it slide on down the river.
\n\n\nShame was at the center of my onion. It was only visible when I peeled back every other layer of my psyche. When it was exposed, I could plainly see how it had predicated my every move. It was the hardest thing I ever worked on. When I was waking up in the ER after my overdose and I realized what I had done, I began weeping uncontrollably and repeating, “I’m so ashamed…I’m so ashamed.” The nurse, God bless her, stopped what she was doing, wrapped her arms around me, and comforted me saying, “You have nothing to be ashamed of. Your heart is broken. Your mind isn’t feeling well. Would you be ashamed if you broke your arm? Or had appendicitis? Of course you wouldn’t. This is no different. You just need to heal this hurt place.” I loved her for that.
\n\n\nI sat there and rewound that twenty minute talk and listened to it no less than four times…each time letting Brené’s words wash over me and soothe that sore place that still sits with my inner child. You can watch this video HERE.
\n\n\nI thought I would leave you today with some images from the farm. There weren’t any spring flowers out yet…I’ll try again next week. It’s still lovely, nonetheless. Till tomorrow…
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/331687939d.jpg\")
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/2124cb55e3.jpg\")
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?
\n\n\n“Heal me, O Lord, and I shall be healed; save me, and I shall be saved, for you are my praise.”
\n\n\nJeremiah 17:14 ESV
\n\n\n#Shame, #Vulnerability, #Growth, #Healing
\n\n", "date_published": "2022-03-18T06:04:02-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/03/18/shamethe-center-of-the-onion.html", "tags": ["Growth","Courage","Healing"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/03/13/the-gift-of-grace.html", "title": "The Gift of Grace", "content_html": "\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/9fe200165e.jpg\")
God grants us grace, even though we are fallible creatures and don’t deserve it. It is His Gift to us and we would do well to be appreciative. We share that gift with others as a sort of “paying it forward”. We let go of the slights of others against us. We forgive others of countless trespasses. I’ve found the one person we are most likely to forget when we are handing out grace is ourselves.
\n\n\nThis hit home with me this week as I struggled with losses. I wrote about losing my dear friend Diane in December and how I blamed myself for not being more forceful with her… “demanding” that she get out of bed and go to the ER. I wrote about the week leading up to Mr. Virgo’s death and how the doctor wanted him to have a cardiac work up and I didn’t fight harder to get him to acquiesce. I wrote about the clear premonitions I had in the days before his death, yet I said nothing.
\n\n\nWe can be so hard on ourselves, can’t we? Those feelings…that “lack of grace” doesn’t come from God, though. It comes from the enemy to try and break us and defeat us. I awoke yesterday at 6:30am…far earlier than usual. I laid there in the early morning stillness, watching the light begin to creep in the windows of our room. The snow was still falling and the wind whistled around the corners of the house and through the hedgerow beyond. I knew sleep would not return, so I quietly slipped out of bed and closed the door behind me.
\n\n\nI made coffee in my Italian espresso maker. It always comes out so strong so I softened it with milk and hot water to make it more palatable. Still, I have been drinking weaker coffee since my surgery, and soon my heart was fluttering and I felt jittery. I rocked in front of the fire and knitted, relished the quiet solitude of these early morning hours before the TV gets turned on. My mind raced faster than my needles. The combination of the extra caffeine and the significance of the day weighed heavily on me and I soon felt anxious.
\n\n\nI truly hate that feeling. The one thing that will make it escalate is the thought that follows. “OMGosh! What would I do if there was an emergency now and I’m feeling so overwhelmed and out of control already?” I know it’s ridiculous because I know God gives us what we need in emergencies. I’m doing much better at turning these things over to God and letting him handle it. I closed my eyes and talked with Him.
\n\n\n“God…I’m going to lay this basket of junk at the foot of your Cross today. Please take it and give me the direction you meant me to go.” In that moment, the word “Grace” popped into my mind. As I sat there and rocked gently, the word loomed ever larger and I realized…God not only wants us to share His Grace with others. He also wants us to grant a goodly portion on ourselves.
\n\n\nIt’s ok that I was overwhelmed with all the feelings yesterday. It’s ok that I allowed myself those moments to feel sad and anxious without imposing guilt, shame, and weakness on top of it. I am not weak. I’ve nothing to feel guilty for. I needn’t experience shame. I grieve the losses of the ones I love…and the vast number that I don’t even know.
\n\n\nIt’s ok to not be ok every moment of every day. Today is a new day. I don’t stay down very long anymore. I’ll indulge that twenty-four hours…or whatever time I need…then pick myself up, dust myself off, and ask God…
\n\n\n“Ok, what’s next?”
\n\n\n?
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2022-03-13T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/03/13/the-gift-of-grace.html", "tags": ["Faith","Grace","Love","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/03/10/i-have-met-my-nemesis.html", "title": "I Have Met My Nemesis", "content_html": "\n“for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus,”
\nRomans 3:23-24 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/1bce55d5fc.jpg\")
Lace! Argh….SO pretty…SO frustrating. First, it’s knitting on fingering weight which is very fine yarn. Second, the instructions are complex. I made it to Row 15…five or six times! My problem isn’t so much staying on the row. I have that figured out. My problem came when I had to start the row with a short sequence of four stitches, then there was a sequence of thirteen stitches that I had to repeat five times across the row, then end the row with a different sequence on the last four stitches. I constantly lost track of where I was about the middle of the fourth sequence on the fifteenth row. After tearing it out umpteen times and getting frustrated, I decided…if it isn’t fun to knit, don’t knit it. This is how I got burned out on counted cross stitch. I started trying more and more difficult patterns till it wasn’t fun anymore and I quit. I don’t want to quit knitting so I’ll knit what I love, not what frustrates the bejeebers out of me!
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/147f92c1e3.jpg\")
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I did finish the little hat with the cables. And I sewed the sweet little flower buttons on the baby sweater. And…I learned I DON’T like complicated lace patterns. So, the day was not a total loss. We awoke to a mix of rain and snow so I drove to the bakery in our little town and got donuts to go with our morning hot beverages. They didn’t have pepperoni rolls, so I got meatball rolls for our supper. They were pretty good!
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/c375837704.jpg\")
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Today is March 10th. On this day nine years ago, Mr. Virgo and I had just purchased a Ford Expedition because the Toyota was costing us $1000 every time we turned around. We wanted a newer, more powerful vehicle to tow the camper we were excitedly talking about. Mr. Virgo came home that night and put his briefcase on one of the kitchen chairs and winced. I asked him what was wrong and he said he had tweaked his shoulder that morning getting the heavy briefcase out of the car and it was still hurting him.
\n\n\nHe looked tired…but he always looked tired. It was a Sunday night at the tail end of a busy ski season…the start to his two days off. I set out his supper and gave him a couple ibuprofen for his shoulder. We watched a little TV and called it a night…not knowing what was looming ahead of us. I had already experienced two nights with terrifying dreams that week that I awoke and he was lying cold and dead beside me in bed. My fight or flight response was at the ready…just beneath the surface of my awareness…hyper-vigilant.
\n\n\n?
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2022-03-10T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/03/10/i-have-met-my-nemesis.html", "tags": ["Grief","Fear","Courage","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/03/04/life-in-miniature.html", "title": "Life in Miniature", "content_html": "\n“Call to me and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known.”
\nJeremiah 33:3 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/05d2aa10f1.jpg\")
Babies are the best, aren’t they? I’ve only knitted a few baby things in my life…mainly because I lacked the confidence to follow intricate patterns. But, once I started making socks, my friend Gail (knitter extraordinaire) assured me I could do anything! I finished knitting the little baby sweater yesterday morning. I had enough yarn to make a pair of baby socks. I wasn’t sure if I had enough to make a hat as well, so I started with the socks first.
\n\n\nI’ve been knitting adult socks for several years now using various patterns and methods. I searched for a baby bootie or sock pattern I liked and ended up starting and tearing out at least three socks. That kind of day is frustrating and it would be very easy to just put it all away and do something else. But I have a project that I’m looking forward to starting and there are a few yarns I want to use up before I settle in on it.
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/cdbfe182e9.jpg\")
I have to say, this little tiny sock for a little tiny human is the sweetest thing. It took me all day but I finally got one finished. I mean, once I finally got the right pattern it was smooth sailing, but up to that point I knitted a lot and didn’t have anything to show for it. I still need to buy little buttons for the sweater. At this point, our new little great grandson is already too big for this one, so I’ll put it away for the future. Someone will have a baby one of these days!
\n\n\nOur weather will start getting warm again for a few days. We will see temperatures up in the 70’s! It’s time to start cleaning out the big building and getting our lives organized while we still have the physical capabilities to do so. The birds have been emptying our feeders two or three times a week. When I woke up, I heard a woodpecker outside our bedroom window, but I couldn’t remember which kind. It turned out to be a Red-bellied Woodpecker which is an odd name because their bellies are white. They’re really pretty with a bright red head.
\n\n\nI made Baked Steak (a traditional staple around these parts), Buttered Noodles, and home-canned Green Beans for supper. The news continues to be distressing and I needed comfort food.. I find comfort in my faith and knowing God has us in His hands. Reading Heather Cox Richardson’s daily Letter to America helps keep the “news noise” down to a dull roar.
\n\n\nI keep praying for the courageous people of Ukraine and for those Russians who are caught in the crossfire and who are against what is happening. What happens to one of us, happens to all of us. We are one species…human.
\n\n\n?
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2022-03-04T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/03/04/life-in-miniature.html", "tags": ["God","Courage","Crafts","Home"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/12/18/heavy-sigh.html", "title": "Heavy Sigh", "content_html": "\n“Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself. But let each one test his own work, and then his reason to boast will be in himself alone and not in his neighbor. For each will have to bear his own load.”
\nGalatians 6:2-5 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/93791552fb.jpg\")
I had kinda forgotten what grief feels like in your body. It’s been over eight years now since I lost Mr. Virgo. I forgot the heavy sighs…that feeling like you just can’t quite take in a deep enough breath. I forgot the deep ache in my chest that physically feels like you’ve been punched in the solar plexus. I forgot how your body hurts…sort of like when you’re coming down with a bad cold.
\n\n\nI have no real appetite. The tears sit behind my eyes till they can’t anymore then they spill over. I know my friend is fine now. I know the pain she had in her back is gone and she’s healed and beautiful and young and free. She’s probably got the angels rolling in the aisles…if they have aisles in Heaven. She’s with her sister and her mom and her dad and all her loved ones that left before us. She’s probably already looked up every musician she ever loved that’s gone before us and is listening to better live music than any she sought out here.
\n\n\nBut, I’m selfish. I want to keep texting with her and laughing at the absurdities of people and life in general. I want to meet her for dinner and go sit by the river and listen to some great guitar aficionado. I want her to answer all my questions, like “Who do I call to get a new roof on the house?” I want her to text me in the morning to say, “Link’s broken” so I’ll know to go fix my morning post. I want her to call me from her car as she is heading to yet another meeting just to tell me they’re having a sale on turkeys at the Pig.
\n\n\nWe are gathering today to remember…seriously, the funniest woman I’ve ever known. And the world is a little less sparkly. She didn’t want a service. She just wanted her friends to gather and share stories and laugh. I’ll bet dollars to donuts there will be music by the Zac Brown Band playing in the background at the funeral home. I sent photos from my phone to add to those collected from her many other friends for a slide show.
\n\n\nIt’s just barely begun to feel real to me. I went all day yesterday without crying. Because I know she’s ok. I know we can’t understand why God takes people when He does. I know there’s nothing I could have done to change the course of Sparky’s passing. I think it’s perfectly natural to feel some guilt. You know…all the “if onlys” and “I should haves”. A wise friend told me to put that **** in a bag, tie it up tight, and give it to God…and DON’T keep taking it back and peeking in to see if He’s taken care of it for you.
\n\n\nIt’s not easy to say goodbye to someone who was such a huge part of your everyday life. But, I’ll learn to navigate around the Sparky-sized hole in my heart and I won’t fall in every time I think of her. I can hear her now. She could swear till a sailor blushed. The socially acceptable version would sound something like, “Snap out of it!” Yeah…that’s not what I’ll hear her saying though. If you knew her…you know exactly what I’m talking about. If you didn’t, you can well imagine.
\n\n\nI am actually looking forward to gathering with our friends and fellow classmates and sharing our grief and our memories. I can guarantee there will be tears…but there will be plenty of laughter, too. So, my dear Sparky…it’ll never be goodbye. It’ll only be…wait for us among the stars. We’ll be along, one of these days. Till then…this song’s for you.
\n\n\n\n\n\n❄️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2021-12-18T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/12/18/heavy-sigh.html", "tags": ["Grief","Gratitude","Wisdom","Courage","Aging","Change","Friends"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/12/16/my-little-feathered-friend.html", "title": "My Little Feathered Friend", "content_html": "\n“Beloved, we are God’s children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is.”
\n1 John 3:2 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/0c03f2e551.jpg\")
Mr. FixIt and I were sitting in the living room yesterday waiting for his friend to call. They were heading to one of the grandkid’s house to deliver a load of wood for their Christmas present. If it’s warm enough outside, we like to leave the inside door open so we can see outside through the full-length glass storm door. It is a rare occurrence that a bird hits this particular glass, but sure enough, one hit it hard just when Mr. FixIt was walking by.
\n\n\nHe went over to look for the bird when I saw the cat make a beeline for the door. I jumped up and ran out in time to see the cat preparing to leap to the spot halfway up the wall where the bird was clinging to the bricks. Mr. FixIt shooed off the cat while I very carefully took the bird to a safe, quiet place. I could tell she was stunned because her head tipped slightly to the side, her beak was open, and she was breathing fast.
\n\n\nI follow the friend of a friend…Julie Zickefoose. She is an author, illustrator, birder, blogger, naturalist, and the widow of one of the founders of Bird Watcher’s Digest. Just the other day, she found a little titmouse rustling around in the leaves under a window at her house. She doctored it for a couple days, but the internal damage was too great and the bird died during a seizure. She has rescued many birds, and she does caution that it’s not for the amateur.
\n\n\nThe little white-breasted nuthatch didn’t seem to be badly hurt, just stunned. I followed the steps Julie did and took the little bird to a quiet place and held her gently for a few minutes. I could see she was coming around a little. She closed her mouth, but her head was still a little tipped. I gently stroked her on each side of the neck, moving her head a little each way and after another couple of minutes, she was turning her head on her own.
\n\n\nI asked Mr. FixIt to put the cat in the building and I gently placed the bird in the crook of a maple limb in the side yard. I left her alone for an hour to rest. When I came back out, she scooted up higher in the tree and soon flew off into the woods across the road to live another day. It felt good to help this little feathered friend get back on the wing.
\n\n\nI baked cookies while Mr. FixIt was off unloading wood for the grandkids. Just a simple Turtle Cookie that I make every year made with those little square pretzels, Rolos, and pecan halves. I’ll bake more today. I’m not feeling particularly festive after losing my friend, Sparky over the weekend. I took advantage of the time alone to play some Christmas music, string some extra lights on the tree where the other ones burned out, and baked.
\n\n\nI talked to my friend as I worked. I told her how sorry I was that she was gone. I apologized for not coming to her house and dragging her to the ER myself. I asked her to watch out over us all and that I’ll look for signs she may be around. Who knows…maybe she sent the little bird so I could save it since I couldn’t save her? The world is a mysterious place, isn’t it?
\n\n\nSparky’s memorial service is Saturday afternoon. Several of us friends and classmates are arranging a proper charity to send money to. Sparky was a benefactor to several charities and was particularly fond of animals and food pantries. We arranged to donate to a pet food pantry that needed replenishing after sending off a truckload to our neighbors in Kentucky who are reeling from the devastating tornadoes over the weekend.
\n\n\nThere will come a time soon when I will make the conscious decision to pull myself up by the bootstraps and not mope around over my loss. But, this is not the week for that. I will grieve and mourn and cry when I need to and laugh when I can. That’s the thing about grief. Joy and pain can exist at the same time. And eventually there is more joy and less pain. It is the nature of grief.
\n\n\n❄️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2021-12-16T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/12/16/my-little-feathered-friend.html", "tags": ["Grief","Courage","Baking"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/11/08/three-days-an-update-on.html", "title": "Three Days - An Update on the POW/MIA Bracelet", "content_html": "\n“Beside them the birds of the heavens dwell; they sing among the branches.”
\nPsalm 104:12 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/1d41883acc.jpg\")
That’s all it took. Three days and I tracked down the daughter of Maj. Chambliss M. Chesnutt. One of my readers suggested the website honorstates.org to find information on the soldier whose POW/MIA bracelet I found in a box of stuff I bought at an auction. I went on and saw that his wife had posted there back in 2016. There was no other information available. I did a few Google searches as I found the time. Somehow I found pownetwork.org and there was mention of a story on military.com about a Pensacola woman finding Maj. Chesnutt’s military ID in Vietnam in 2019. I was intrigued.
\n\n\nJill Hubb’s was looking for her late father’s remains in Vietnam when a Vietnamese man showed her a military ID his father had found 50 years earlier. It took her a while to convince the man to let her have the ID card, but once she made him understand through an interpreter how much it would mean to the soldier’s family, he finally agreed to let it go. The ID turned out to belong to the soldier on my POW/MIA bracelet.
\n\n\nMs. Hubbs went through the same search I’ve been making. She found the information she was looking for on the Vietnam Veterans Memorial Fund website called The Wall of Faces. There, she discovered an email address for Maj. Garry Chesnutt, one of Cham’s three children and contacted him. You can read the article here: https://www.military.com/daily-news/2019/09/18/missing-id-card-spent-50-years-vietnam-now-its-coming-home.html
\n\n\nThe Wall of Faces is a virtual “wall”, but there are photos and remembrances posted. It was among these that I found a few others who also wore Maj. Chesnutt’s name on their bracelet. It hadn’t occurred to me before this that…of course…there had to have been multiple bracelets with the same name. After all, the originators of the POW/MIA bracelets produced nearly 5,000,000 bracelets by the time the doors closed on VIVA (Voices in Vital America) in 1976. By that time, people were sick of hearing about Vietnam and interest had wained. The sales of the bracelets funded countless stickers, pamphlets, flags and more to bring attention to our missing soldiers. The goal has always been to bring them home or repatriate their remains/belongings. You can read about the history of the POW/MIA bracelets here: https://www.pow-miafamilies.org/history-of-powmia-bracelets.html
\n\n\nYou can still order one of these bracelets through the Ohio Chapter MIA/POW for $15. You can also buy flags, stickers, etc. You can download the order form here: https://www.pow-miafamilies.org/uploads/9/1/5/0/91501560/ohio_chapter_order_form_9-24-19.pdf
\n\n\nMr. Virgo served in Vietnam with the 101st Airborne Division of the United States Army. He told me things about his time there that he’d never told anyone else. I’m very proud of his service. The most emotional part of his funeral was when that young soldier knelt before me and handed me the flag from his coffin.
\n\n\nI emailed Maj. Chesnutt’s daughter yesterday…offering to send her my bracelet. In the post I read from 2017, she said two other women had tracked her down and sent her their bracelets. She said she wears one, and she is saving the other for her kids. If I hear back from her, I’ll let you know.
\n\n\n??
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2021-11-08T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/11/08/three-days-an-update-on.html", "tags": ["Courage","Humbled","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/11/02/the-queen-of-soft-edges.html", "title": "The Queen of Soft Edges", "content_html": "\n“You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.”
\nIsaiah 26:3 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/32f6b9567d.jpg\")
I saw a picture of my friend Jack, sitting in the driveway surrounded by Trick or Treaters. He was in his element. Jack was my daughters’ psychology teacher in high school. He was our neighbor. He is friend to just about everyone he meets. He is a great storyteller. He’s colorful and deep and has an ever present smile. When I commented on the photo, I posted “King Jack, holding court!” He wrote back, “I am the king of soft edges and play, I think.”
\n\n\nI couldn’t agree more.
\n\n\nI got to thinking about that. I am proud to say I am a “Queen of Soft Edges”. I’m posting the accompanying photo to show the difference between then and now and how I got all those soft edges. You may have seen this picture floating around Facebook. It’s a reminder to the girls of today…we may be Boomers, we may be gray, but we were super cool…back in the day.
\n\n\nI mean…look at us. We owned the planet. We acted like it, anyway. Inside, we were more than likely a bowl of jelly…totally unsure of ourselves…all legs and hair and feigned coolness. I don’t know about you, but I had a whole boatload of sharp edges in my young adulthood. I wasn’t always empathetic. I was too often self centered. I had a lot of hurts and hurt people hurt people.
\n\n\nThere’s a funny thing about the School of Hard Knocks. If you rap the edges of flint, you get sharp edges that cut like a knife. If you take a piece of marble, you can rap on it and shape it into something it isn’t…a statue…an imitation of something else. But, if you take sandstone, you can chip and nibble and sand away till it’s smooth and soft and lays in your hand gently.
\n\n\nWe all go through the School of Hard Knocks to some extent. It’s what you’re made of that determines your outcome. You can change your make up at any time. You can give up being flint and having a cutting edge. You can give being marble and becoming something you aren’t. You can choose to be sandstone…like peachblow,for instance…glowing softly with lovely, smooth edges. Water rolls off. It’s strong enough to build buildings and soft enough to smooth with your hands. I like the idea of being a Queen of Soft Edges…among other things. I love that I am softer now. Life has knocked off most of my sharp edges and I go with the flow a lot easier than I used to.
\n\n\nWe arrived safely in Columbus at around 5:00. I was not happy with the hotel I initially booked because it had the doors that open to the outside. I like a interior hallway for safety. I had reserved through the hotel.com app. You can make a reservation without paying up front. I went in and asked to cancel and told them why. The young man behind the desk directed me to a nice hotel just a little ways down the street. It was much better, and once they found out I am a patient oat OSU, they gave me a reduced rate that was better than the other hotel. Free breakfast, I get points for my stay, they gave me a full sheet of restaurants that deliver or have curbside service. We ordered soup and salad from Roosters and it was wonderful and affordable. This will be our go to hotel when I come here for medical services.
\n\n\nIt’s supposed to get down to 29 degrees tonight! Time to get the warm jammies and fuzzy slippers out!
\n\n\n?
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2021-11-02T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/11/02/the-queen-of-soft-edges.html", "tags": ["Courage","Aging","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/08/25/when-is-it-a-disasterwhen.html", "title": "When is it a Disaster…When is it Just…Life?", "content_html": "\n“Brothers, do not be children in your thinking. Be infants in evil, but in your thinking be mature.”
\n1 Corinthians 14:20 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/c3d7cc0f16.jpg\")
There are truly disasters that occur. Things that could not have been predicted that befall us and change our lives in a heartbeat. The floods in Tennessee…the terrible ice storms in Texas…the dreadful fires in the west. These are all things that, aside from the unfortunate predictability of increased global warming, are still horrifying to watch. And even more horrifying to be a part of.
\n\n\nI’ve been thinking about my grandparents and my parents and how they lived through the Great Depression and World War II. Those were both events that shook our country to the very core. Our great and great great grandparents lived through the Civil War…a time when the very fabric of our being was torn in two. They didn’t throw their hands up and cry woe is me. They rolled up their sleeves and put others first. They put their shoulders to the wheel and pushed forward with all their might.
\n\n\nWe’ve become both softened and hardened by technology. We’re soft because there are machines and computers that do everything for us. Everything…EVERYTHING is done electronically. We’ve put all our eggs in one basket and it’s not going to take long for someone to figure out how to take a sledgehammer to them and it won’t be pretty. We’ve become hardened because it’s hard to tease out fact from fiction for the typical Joe and Jane America. We’ve become hardened because we have a screen to hide behind and we don’t have to look in the eyes of our real and imagined adversaries.
\n\n\nBut, with all that being said…I truly, truly believe there are far more good people in the world than there are really bad people. The thing is…goodness doesn’t sell advertising space. Sensationalism and keeping every single news cycle focused on all the terrible things can keep us in a constant state of anxiety if we let it.
\n\n\nI received an e-mail yesterday from the Census Bureau asking me to fill out a “Coronavirus Household Pulse Survey”. It asked questions they didn’t ask in the regular census. The purpose of the survey was to gauge our reactions to the pandemic. How it’s affecting us….physically, financially, mentally, and emotionally. It asked if we were having trouble meeting bills. Were we able to seek and receive the healthcare we needed. Are we getting enough food. This is designed to find out where the trouble spots are and where resources are needed the most.
\n\n\nOne of the greatest lessons of the Depression and WWII was the need for social services to help people through the tough times in life. And, it was fortunate our ancestors were largely farmers and hard work was already a part of their daily lives. They knew how to do all the things that need doing and, unfortunately, a lot of those skills have died out with them. I am a strong proponent of bringing Home Economics and Shop classes back to schools. I think there should be a class that teaches young people how to fill out job applications, balance a checkbook, file taxes. I’ve seen programs that match schools with nursing homes and senior centers in order to enlighten both demographics. There are places that put day care centers in nursing homes and it benefits the elders as well as the littles.
\n\n\nHow can we preserve the skills that are rapidly dying? What skills do you have that you might share with young people? What if all the electronics went away tomorrow? Who would know what to do without YouTube and Google? These are things that roam around in my head when I’m not busy enough, I’m afraid. But they are things that should be addressed. Our great grandchildren’s lives may depend on it.
\n\n\nAs disastrous as the pandemic has been, these sorts of things are just a part of life. Sometimes life is cake…and sometimes it’s really, really hard. Devastatingly hard. Knowing we are not alone in our difficulties can go a long way in calming our fears of the unknown and the anxieties of uncertainty. God walks with His children…always. That was one of the biggest gems I discovered in the flames of my grief. While I was a widow and I was crushed…I was never alone. We are brokenhearted over many things right now. But please know this…God draws near to the brokenhearted. It is when we can communicate with him most intimately.
\n\n\n?
\n\n\n\n\n\n\n“Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.”
\n1 Peter 4:10 NIV\n
#Skills, #Talents, #Knowledge
\n\n", "date_published": "2021-08-25T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/08/25/when-is-it-a-disasterwhen.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Growth","God","Wisdom","Courage","Warning","Choices","Change","Farm Life"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/08/07/a-matter-of-self-care.html", "title": "A Matter of Self Care: An Open Letter to Simone Biles", "content_html": "\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/4ccf169f64.jpg\")
Dear Miss Simone,
\n\n\nI haven’t really watched the Olympics much, but I’ve kept up with the major stories. Our family’s biggest interest is the swimming events since my older grandchild has been on swim team practically since she could write her name. She had hopes of going to the 2020 Olympics, but when push comes to shove in any sport, you athletes know early on what level you are likely to perform at. My granddaughter knew she was a healthy competitor, but she also knew she was a college level swimmer…not an Olympian. So, when it came time to choose…competitive or athletic, she chose athletic. Her reasoning was…she wanted to have a life and enjoy growing up. I think she made a wise choice. She is mentally and physically healthy, she excels at academics, swimming is still fun and great exercise, and…colleges are contacting her to apply. There’s nothing wrong with that.
\n\n\nAs I watched the drama unfold surrounding your struggles in Tokyo, my heart ached for you. You climbed the ladder the hard way. You worked hard. You were focused and determined. You were built to do what you do. And, when your mind played tricks on you and you chose to protect it, there were actually people calling you a “quitter” and “an embarrassment to our country”. I was shocked, but not surprised.
\n\n\nWe live in a culture where the word “woke” has been given an ugly connotation. Maya Angelou said, “I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better.” That, my friend, is all “woke” really is. It’s being twisted to represent this or that…but the bottom line is, it is awareness. In the past, there are myriad examples of Olympians pushed beyond their limits, receiving life altering and career ending injuries. I mean, look at how few Olympians there are compared to the number of people who try to get there. The pressure put on these mostly young people is abysmal. The pressure you put on yourselves is tragic.
\n\n\nYes, I know…some will blame it on “every participant gets a trophy”. Or “kids these days are too soft”. I’d dare anyone to say you, or the hundreds of premier athletes like you, are soft. The skills you perform are seriously life threatening. You had a case of the “twisties”…something gymnasts know all about. It comes when, for whatever reason, your mind and body disconnect and you lose your spatial awareness. You don’t know where you are in your spins and rolls and flips. When that happens, a gymnast is in terrible danger. The accident that could have occurred had you continued could not only have ended your career…it could have ended your life.
\n\n\nHow fair is it of us “armchair athletes” to say what’s going on in another person’s mind? If you, or any other gymnast, would have landed wrong and broke your ankle, for instance, and had to pull out of events…are you “soft”? No! The only difference between a mental injury and a physical injury is…NO ONE CAN SEE IT. I understand the struggle between trying to do something I’m not capable of in the moment and the expectations of others that I SHOULD be able to. I don’t feel “seen” or “understood” or “validated”. I feel “judged” and “weak” and “inferior”. And I’m not on a world stage…not in any way near what a world class athlete is.
\n\n\nAs a fellow human being with struggles of my own, and as a mom of a wonderful human being who struggles in their own way, my heart goes out to you, Simone…and the hundreds of people like you who have to make a choice…protect your mental health, or risk disappointing others. I’ll choose disappointing others any day of the week after what I’ve been through and what I’ve learned from the experience. Life is far too short, dear one. All you wonderfully talented athletes don’t “owe” me anything but honesty and good character and the wisdom to know when to say, “I can’t do this.”
\n\n\nIt’s really ok to not be ok sometimes.
\n\n\nI’m proud of you, Miss Simone. As proud as I can be without actually being your mom. You are SO much more than your craft.
\n\n\n?
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2021-08-07T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/08/07/a-matter-of-self-care.html", "tags": ["Health","Courage","Choices","Kindness"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/07/09/holding-my-thoughts-captive.html", "title": "Holding my Thoughts Captive", "content_html": "\n“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”
\nJeremiah 29:11 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/73d2651c4a.jpg\")
Chilling after a five hour drive…listening to a podcast.
\n\n\nFrom the time my uncle told me it was time to sell the farm, I started having a major uptick in my anxiety. I had never known a time in my life when the farm was not “home” to me. My heart was breaking. Where would I go to recharge? Where would I feel my family again? On top of that, my daughter and grandchildren were coming to see us and Little was going to stay a couple of weeks. We hadn’t seen each other in two years. Would the newly grown up teenagers like their “old Nana”? What if Little couldn’t relate to me? What if something happened to her, or me, or Mr. FixIt while her mom was so far away? It got so bad, I actually saw the doctor a couple of times because I thought I was having a heart attack.
\n\n\nYou get where I’m going with this? I was succumbing to my worries and anxiety as well as openly mourning the passing of an era…the era of “The Farm”. I knew I had to do something. Because I was not making life easy for anyone around me. And that would guarantee that Little wouldn’t want to be around me in such a state. She is very sensitive to other’s emotions. Oh, I could have gone to another therapist. But, seriously…I have had ten years of therapy for depression and anxiety. I know as much about it as the therapists. I have every tool in my tool box. I didn’t have a lot of faith that this time would be any different.
\n\n\nSo, I approached it biblically. I went to God. I asked Him to show me how to help myself out of these downward spirals. I kept thinking of the scripture about holding our thoughts captive and started reading every devotional I could find about anxiety and fighting the war in your mind. I found so many wonderful works and they really helped.
\n\n\nThe basic tenet is…you cannot worry while you are praising God. I told you a few weeks ago that it really helped me to do repetitive affirmations. But not focused on me….focused on God. I started thanking him for everything. I had a little anxiety when I left yesterday morning. This is the first time I’ve left Mr. FixIt and been so far away. It’s one thing to spend a few days over at the farm when I’m only 20 miles away. It’s a whole different thing when I’m four hours away!
\n\n\nI know that psychologists use repetitive activity to soothe anxiety. Combining that with praising God was a no brainer. The secret is to remember to do it and not just run down the rabbit hole of angst. As I drove, the enemy put thoughts into my head.
\n\n\n“You can’t go this far away from him alone.”
\n\n\n“You know, if something happens to him and you’re not there, you’ll never forgive yourself.”
\n\n\n“Maybe you don’t have that adventurous spirit anymore.”
\n\n\n“Maybe you should turn around and just go back home.”
\n\n\n“You don’t have what it takes to do this.”
\n\n\nYou get the drift. Now, ordinarily, I would listen to that voice, and my fight or flight response would kick in, and then the nausea would start. Then, I’d spiral down, down, down till I got physically ill. Let me tell you something…this is the God’s honest truth. That is no way to live. There is no joy in that whatsoever.
\n\n\nAnd I want joy. I deserve JOY! It’s how God built us…to enjoy life. I was definitely not enjoying that particular stretch. I finally found a devotional that mixed science facts with faith. As I drove yesterday and felt my heart rate increase with every mile further away from my sweetheart, I brought myself into the present and asked God to teach me how to attain that “peace beyond all understanding.”
\n\n\nI started looking at everything in my periphery. Starting every sentence with “Thank you God, for……” I thanked him for a beautiful day…for the luxurious foliage…for the way the sun glinted off the river…for the chance to spend quality time with Little…for my wonderful friends waiting for me at our destination. In no time flat…the anxiety was gone. I was in the moment and feeling such joy and piece.
\n\n\nI thought to myself… “Is it really that easy?”
\n\n\nYes. It is. But, the hard part is capturing your thoughts before they take you down the rabbit hole. It’s hard to break 68 years of a bad habit. I’m committed to doing this. Because, the peace I felt was palpable…golden…complete.
\n\n\nAnyway, after a four hour drive and a trip to Walmart for food and supplies, we put things away, ate supper, and joined some of the gals to visit. Chilling in the campground is a happy way to end the day!
\n\n\n?
\n\n\n\n\n\n\n“Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.”
\nProverbs 4:23 ESV\n
\n\n\n\n“Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.”
\nJames 4:7 ESV\n
\n\n\n", "date_published": "2021-07-09T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/07/09/holding-my-thoughts-captive.html", "tags": ["Comfort","Courage","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/06/17/a-great-day-for-working.html", "title": "A Great Day for Working Outdoors!", "content_html": "\n“We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ,”
\n2 Corinthians 10:5 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/56c331c10f.jpg\")
Our son-in-law showing off a turn-of-the-century bathtub!
\n\n\nYesterday was clear and bright and sunny. While it was hot in the direct sun, there was a lovely breeze and the temperature stayed comfortably in the mid 70’s. Our WV son-in-law came and helped Mr. FixIt with some long overdue work around the house. Land’s sake…they pushed and pushed and I couldn’t believe how nice it all looked when it was done.
\n\n\nThey moved two of the campers and mowed under them. They ran the weed eater all around the yard. Our son-in-law climbed the old TV antenna and tore out the vines and cut off the very top part. They need more muscle to take the whole thing down. They went down to the creek and dug out the last few feet of the ditch that filled in with mud and debris from the flash flood earlier this week. They took the disk grinder and cut the old rusty swing set apart and got it out of there. Then they shoveled up and hauled about ten bags of sand and moved it to fill low spots in the yard.
\n\n\nMy bonus daughter got in the pool and swept it really well. I cut up, blanched, and dehydrated a big bag of Vidalia onions, made an apple pie, grilled hot dogs for lunch and cleaned the kitchen. The house and yard are looking so nice. I still have to finish the guest bedroom. I’ve ordered fresh linens for the beds for the girls so they’ll be really comfortable while they’re here.
\n\n\nI love when we have the opportunity to sit around the table and talk about things. Yesterday’s topic was timely…anxiety and faith. We all have a certain level of anxiety or worry or fear. Or, more accurately…we are humans, so we are certainly prone to that. That’s why God tells us over and over and over to not be afraid…to trust in him to be there with us through our trials…to hand over the hard stuff and let him carry it. I love when you can quote scripture to back up your point. That conversation was validation as to how God works in our lives when we ask Him in.
\n\n\nThe other day, I was feeling worried and anxious about something that hadn’t even happened yet, and likely wouldn’t happen in the way I feared. I took the advice of the author of a devotional I was reading at the time. “Stop. Just stop right now and walk away to a quiet place and talk to God.” That’s what I did. I went out to TOW-Wanda, turned on the AC, stretched out on the bed and tucked my favorite fuzzy blanket up under my chin.
\n\n\nNow…what was it she said to do? Ah, yes…praise God for everything He does for me. I started with that favorite blanket.
\n\n\n“Thank you, God…for this comforting blanket.”
\n\n\n“Thank you, God…for this soft pillow to rest my head.”
\n\n\n“Thank you, God…for this safe space I can retreat to when I need to be alone with You.”
\n\n\n“Thank you, God…for the soft breeze blowing and rocking the camper so gently.”
\n\n\n“Thank you, God…for this wonderful husband you’ve brought me to partner my life with.”
\n\n\nOn and on…and after every “Thank you, God…” my anxiety and worry retreated farther and farther from me. And yesterday…I got to start that testimony with the kids and reinforce their faith…as well as my own. God doesn’t want us to live in a state of perpetual fear and stress. And these are certainly stressful times. God did not give us a spirit of fear, so if you are experiencing fear, worry, and anxiety…it is not coming from God. I cannot tell you how many times I have spoken aloud and told the enemy to get away from me…he has no dominion here. God knows our every thought. The enemy would like you to think he does, too…but he doesn’t. He cannot read your mind. So you have to speak aloud to him to make him go away. It’s really as easy as that.
\n\n\nSo, it was a good day…all the way around. More things accomplished. More jobs completed. More stories told. There is nothing more beautiful than family and faith.
\n\n\nAnd…apple pie!
\n\n\n?
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2021-06-17T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/06/17/a-great-day-for-working.html", "tags": ["Faith","Love","God","Fear","Courage","Choices","Healing","Anxiety"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/06/10/the-year-that-time-stood.html", "title": "The Year That Time Stood Still", "content_html": "\n“For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands, for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.”
\n2 Timothy 1:6-7 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/746ba5a80f.jpg\")
Sometimes, when life gives you hard things, you put your head down and keep pushing forward in order to survive. Even now, you take stock of all that’s happening around you, it’s easy to feel WAY out of control. And there’s nothing worse than that runaway train feeling. You can’t defend yourself from an enemy you cannot see. It’s downright scary.
\n\n\nWhen Mr. FixIt had his first stroke in February 2020, we sat together in his room and watched the news. They were talking about a disease that seemed to be spreading overseas and could very well come to the United States. We were already dealing with one emergency with uncertain consequences. Now they’re talking about a pandemic, too? We were too numb to really “get it”.
\n\n\nWe went home and started the healing process. Then, six weeks later, there was a stroke on the other side AND we were in a full-blown pandemic. We were beyond numb. We were obviously extremely grateful the strokes weren’t any worse. We knew they certainly could have been. But we didn’t know if there would be a third on the horizon. And, would it be “the big one”. These were things we definitely didn’t talk about...but we both worried about, nonetheless.
\n\n\nOur lives became centered around physical therapy, follow up medical visits, and endless television coverage. Not only the pandemic, but now the election. We were so overwhelmed, we didn’t know what to think. We just did the best we could and put one foot in front of the other.
\n\n\nThis year is different. We survived the election. We survived the worst of the pandemic. We got vaccinated. And we got through the year that time stood still. Hindsight is 20/20, and Mr. FixIt and I have frequent conversations...processing what we went through in the last year and how we handled it. Sometimes you don’t know how bad things were till you get past them and look back. We were pretty much a hot mess last year. This year is much, much better.
\n\n\nMr. FixIt has his strength back. We are getting life back to normal here at Marshmallow Ranch. We are picking up the pieces of the last year and working on the projects we were right in the middle of when the first stroke hit. It is so stressful to feel like you’re waiting for the other shoe to drop. Now, with a little time and distance, and good medications, and the reassurance of our physicians...we’re beginning to trust that we’re ok and and we can move forward and continue this beautiful life we’ve been building.
\n\n\nWe are filled with love and gratitude...hope and faith.
\n\n\nWe can breathe again.
\n\n\n?
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2021-06-10T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/06/10/the-year-that-time-stood.html", "tags": ["Health","Gratitude","Fear","Courage","Change","Healing","Anxiety"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/06/09/when-life-smacks-you.html", "title": "When Life Smacks You", "content_html": "\n“Beloved, I pray that all may go well with you and that you may be in good health, as it goes well with your soul.”
\n3 John 1:2 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/9fbdeab9e4.jpg\")
Yesterday was just an ordinary day here on Marshmallow Ranch...aka the Ponderosa. We puttered around the house. Mr. FixIt worked on the drywall in the small bathroom we’ve been refinishing. We’ve been working on it for ages but other things, like strokes and covid and stuff kept pushing it to the back burner. But now, I am so grateful to say...Mr. FixIt is SO much better. He’s stronger and more himself and I’m thrilled he feels well. A job is just a job. Getting him well and happy and healthy was our first priority.
\n\n\nI put things away and organized my electronics and I’m almost finished with the office. I was just finishing putting a variety of cables, cameras, and recording equipment in a carry bag when I heard one of my bonus granddaughters out in the yard. She and her dad came for a visit so we took a break and sat out by the pool to talk. She told us all about her latest softball tournament and how hot it was out on the field. It was so nice to see them.
\n\n\nWhen they left, we went back to work. We used the clippers to trim back the forsythia along one side of the yard. It is absolutely amazing to me how fast things grow here. We worked till it was just too hot at 88 degrees to keep going then we stopped for lunch. Most afternoons, we stretch out for a bit during the hottest part of the day and have a little siesta, then pick up where we left off. This time, we drove into town to pick up some things then get an ice cream and sit at the park to watch the river.
\n\n\nBy the time we got home, the sky was getting dark and we had a really good rain with some lightning and thunder. We’ve needed the moisture terribly so we were happy to have it. We sat down to watch America’s Got Talent. I really enjoy it because it reminds me of growing up watching Ted Mack’s Amateur Hour and the Ed Sullivan Show. But, it was the last act of the night that had me gob-smacked.
\n\n\nA tiny little wisp of a thing from Zanesville, Ohio came on to sing an original song. When asked what she does for a living, she revealed she’d been dealing with cancer over the last few years so she hadn’t worked. I know there are people who come on these shows and you think they’re just using them for ratings and sympathy. But this little gal was different. She was special. Her whole heart was open and real and authentic. She stepped to the microphone, opened her mouth, and out came the music of heaven....at least as I would imagine it to be.
\n\n\nShe sang a song that was raw and real and told of her fight and that...it’s ok to not be ok. It’s alright. When she finished, you could have heard a pin drop till the audience finally jumped to their feed and gave her a well deserved standing ovation. Each judge spoke of how fearless she seemed and when it got to Simon, it was obvious she had really touched him. When he remarked how happy she was, she said something that I had to write down. I asked Mr. FixIt to rewind so I could be sure to get it right. She said:
\n\n\n\n\n\n\n“You can’t wait until life isn’t hard anymore before you decide to be happy.”
\nNightbirde\n
That really hit me. I’ve dealt with depression and anxiety all of my life. Moments like these are the tools I keep in my tool box for when I feel I’m struggling. I mean, this sweet, young woman with the closely cropped hair still has cancer in her lungs, her spine, and her liver. She revealed she only has a 2% chance of survival. But she looked into the camera and said, “You know? It’s not 0%...it’s 2 whole percent. I just wish people could understand how special that is.”
\n\n\nSometimes life smacks you a little and says, “Wake up, kid! Look around you!” I’m so grateful I got to see little “Nightbirde” sing. You can watch HERE.
\n\n\n?
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2021-06-09T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/06/09/when-life-smacks-you.html", "tags": ["Health","Gratitude","Grace","Courage","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/06/08/on-a-saturday-night-in.html", "title": "On a Saturday Night in West Virginia", "content_html": "\n“Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”
\n2 Corinthians 4:16-18 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/176e547eaa.jpg\")
Roller Rink in Belpre, OH - photo by Harry Barnett
\n\n\nI was born in the Fifties and grew up in the Sixties. It was a fine time to be a kid. We didn’t have a lot of money and we didn’t really go out and do a lot of “stuff”...especially if it cost money. Most of our Saturday nights were either spent at home or at the farm with Grandma and PopPop. During the summer, Saturday wasn’t any different than any other day of the week, except for one thing. Saturday night was “Skate Night” for the cool kids.
\n\n\nI wasn’t...WAS NOT...one of the cool kids. My cousins were cool. I knew people who were cool. But somehow...I missed out on the cool gene. However, when the Stanley’s moved in down the street in the summer of ‘66, I found my partner in crime. Sharon was my age, in my grade. My very fist same-age friend. Everyone else in the neighborhood were either much older, or much younger. We soon became inseparable.
\n\n\nWe did everything together. We rode bikes for hours. We took tennis lessons at the town park. We were awful, but we had fun at it. We explored the woods up on the hill above our houses. Even though I couldn’t swim and was terrified of water, we went to the pool and “laid out” in the sun. From first light, off we’d go whenever we could. As long as we were home by the time the street lights came on, we were good.
\n\n\nOne of our favorite things to do was go to Cavalier Roller Rink. I was in awe of the older kids who could skate backwards and do spins and never fall down. We were used to those awful metal street skates you crunched down on your shoes with a key. Mine came from the Plaid Stamp store. I can still see them. They were shiny and had a foam pad on the ankle strap that was red plaid. We were really uptown in those, I’m telling ya.
\n\n\nSkating in rink skates was an entirely differently proposition. The floor was smooth as glass and the wheels met the floor with precision. Smooth....and slick as ice. We fell far more than we skated till we finally got the hang of it. I never did get to be a really great skater. I couldn’t spin or skate backwards, but I could skate arm in arm and in long conga lines. We played “Crack the Whip” which was deliciously terrifying when you were on the end of the line.
\n\n\nBy the time we were teenagers, there was the typical posturing...trying to attract the eye of someone who interested you. Getting to skate with someone during the “Couples Only” skate was our loftiest goal. We most often sat that one out, munching on popcorn and soft drinks till we could get back out there and zoom around and around. I think back to those Saturday nights with great fondness. For several reasons.
\n\n\nOne...I have a birthday coming up soon. Sixty-eight. How that happened...I’ll never know. But it’s been fifty years since we graduated from high school...fifty years ago today, to be exact. It’s been fifty years since I went to a roller rink, too. That’s ok...I don’t miss it. I just miss those days of not being reminded I have knees every time I stand up. I miss long summer days playing in the sun without a care in the world. I miss that feeling of hurrying down the street when you knew the streetlight would be on any minute. The sound of TV’s in people’s houses. The quiet conversations on front porches. The shouts of, “See ya’ tomorrow!”
\n\n\nThere is a whole lotta space in the “dash” between then and now. A lot was done. Many accomplishments. Too many mistakes. A rich tapestry woven with the experiences we’ve all had over these last fifty years. We’ve postponed our 50th High School Reunion till next year due to the uncertainty of Covid over the last year. It takes a lot of money and planning to put on that show, and it would have been terrible to have to cancel. This way we have another year to take off some of this Covid weight! lol
\n\n\nI guess where I’m going with this is...my sweet friend Sharon isn’t doing very well right now. She has some pretty major health issues, then ended up with long haul Covid on top of it so she’s struggling to get better. She has a fighting spirit. After all, at church camp, we were notorious, as our theme song stated...
\n\n\n“We are the Night Owls, Mighty Mighty Night Owls, every where we go-oh, people want to know-oh, who we are, so we tell them....”
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/323bac497e.jpg\")
Please join me in lifting up my life-long, good time loving, slumber party giving, all night skating, best iced tea making, bike riding bunk mate in earnest prayer that the gifted doctors at Mayo Clinic will fix her up so she can get back to this wonderful life and we can finally go camping together!
\n\n\nI love you, Shubs. Please get well soon!
\n\n\n???
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2021-06-08T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/06/08/on-a-saturday-night-in.html", "tags": ["Faith","Overcoming Obstacles","West Virginia","Courage","Aging","Change","Memories","Friends"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/05/24/a-day-of-peace.html", "title": "A Day of Peace", "content_html": "\n“A friend loves at all times......”
\nProverbs 17:17 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/5880f1cbb2.jpg\")
After an entire week of angst and anxiety, I sat with my bible study on “Overcoming Anxiety” and let it go...again. How many times do we have to let it go?? As many times as it takes. I’m pretty well convinced it’s not the last time, but the peace I felt yesterday was complete and it gave me such an incredible sense of relief.
\n\n\nWe got up early yesterday. We still aren’t attending church outside the home. We will go again...when we’re ready. My church yesterday was found at the farm. The grass isn’t growing terribly fast right now because we haven’t had any rain. But it was still time to mow out there, and I really don’t want the new people to take possession and have to get the baler out. So, we loaded the mowers up on the utility trailer and headed for the country.
\n\n\nI knew there was food out there, so we elected to have breakfast once we arrived. We had eggs and fried cornmeal mush with syrup and sat on the front porch to marvel at God’s precious handiwork. Once we finished and the dishes were washed, I hopped on the riding mower while Mr. FixIt took the push mower around the edges and the ditch out front. My step-son called to say they were coming for a visit, so as soon as the mowing was done, we loaded back up and headed home.
\n\n\nThey had some work to do first, so I took the riding mower right off the trailer and mowed the Ponderosa. I just was finished when the kids showed up with pizza. We sat out on the deck by the pool and ate. They hadn’t seen the new carpeting yet so we went inside and talked while the guys re-hung the door Mr. FixIt painted. We had a lovely day with family and friends through texts and visits and phone calls.
\n\n\nI felt so good. I know to give things to God. I KNOW. But my mind gets carried away and before I know it, I’m down a rabbit hole and we’re off to the races. The good thing is, yesterday was so blessedly peaceful that it was a tangible reminder of the peace that comes with letting go and letting God do the heavy lifting. We weren’t meant to do the heavy lifting. That’s HIS job....if only we hand over the load. I’m grateful for the sense of calm I experienced...all day long.
\n\n\n?
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2021-05-24T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/05/24/a-day-of-peace.html", "tags": ["Faith","Overcoming Obstacles","Gratitude","God","Peace","Courage","Be Joyful!","Control","Healing"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/04/21/life-is-a-mystery.html", "title": "Life is a Mystery", "content_html": "\n“Don't worry about anything, but pray about everything. With thankful hearts offer up your prayers and requests to God. Then, because you belong to Christ Jesus, God will bless you with peace that no one can completely understand. And this peace will control the way you think and feel.”
\nPhilippians 4:6-7 CEV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/5d39eff4a2.jpg\")
A Halo Around the Sun...Life is a Mystery!
\n\n\nI’ve been on an emotional rollercoaster this week...and it’s only half over. Here we are at the beach...enjoying our time away...yet, so much is going on, it’s hard for me to let loose and focus on relaxing into oblivion. Sometimes, life is just that way. It doesn’t serve exact dishes from an exact menu at exactly the time you want...or NEED them. It seldom works that way.
\n\n\nPractically on our way out the door Friday, my cousin sent me a message. My uncle has listed Grandma’s farm with an agent and it is being auctioned off. There is a minimum bid, and the Auction closes at 7:00PM on May 18th. I thought we had till July, but I’m sure it makes more sense financially to sell in the spring. It’s disappointing on many levels...not the least of which, my kids won’t get the opportunity to go say goodbye to the place. I’m hoping the new owners will be amenable to allowing this when they come for a visit in June. I’m also sending this link to everyone I know, hoping someone I know will snatch up this beautiful place and I can still come back for visits! Hey, a girl can hope! (Edit: I found out this morning...the auction ends 5/18 but the sale doesn’t close till 7/3!!! So, my plans for a gathering may work after all!!!)
\n\n\nI also got a call from the endocrine clinic and my labs show I have recurrent hyperparathyroidism. They couldn’t see those other two glands and they hoped they were ok, but obviously they aren’t. They called me again yesterday to address that, and some other tests that will need repeating in three months. I’ll need to have a specialized scan in September after everything heals and all the swelling is gone and we can try to visualize those glands that are playing hide and seek in my chest. After that, we’ll discuss what to do which is more than likely another surgery...this time in the chest. NOT the result I was hoping for, but it is what it is. My symptoms are back to what they were before the surgery, but I ten wonderful days of feeling like I did before this all happened, so that gives me something to strive towards.
\n\n\nMy cousin and her family came and took a lot of the furniture from the farm back over the mountains. It’s theirs and I have no problem with that. They were careful not to take any of my things. I wasn’t worried that they would. And, it’s not the “things” that’s the problem. It’s walking back into the house when we get back home and seeing Grandma’s table and buffet and secretary desk and other things gone. It’s the change. It’s the loss. The loss of my childhood home...my happy place...my safe space. That’s what’s bugging me.
\n\n\nThen I think of my friend who lost her son...then twelve days later, unbelievably lost her husband, too. I think of my dear friend Sue who lost a year and her hair and her breasts to cancer. I think of my friend Sharon who is struggling with long haul covid on top of liver failure and sees her strength, and perhaps even her independence, slipping away from her. I see my Aunt and my Uncle struggling with health and memory issues. I see the young people in my family facing difficult challenges in their lives. I see the scary things of the world and my issues seem so paltry in comparison.
\n\n\nThe Lord tells us, the things of this world will give us trials and tribulations. But He has overcome the world. And we can, too. It’s all a matter of faith and focus...letting go and letting God take care of us. We have to suit up and show up and get in the game and do our part...of course. But sitting here “crying in my beer” is not the answer to this situation. That doesn’t help me or anybody else.
\n\n\nI’m looking at the opportunities that lie ahead. Ok...the farm thing is just happening sooner than we thought. That’s less mowing and less responsibility...financial and otherwise. My friends’ loss gives me the opportunity to be more like Jesus and be of service to them. Not having the responsibilities of the farm frees up more time and resources for that. So? My hips hurt and I have weird pains that migrate about and I’m grumpy and can’t sleep. So what? I can still go see a beautiful sunset with my sweet husband and hold his hand and eat ice cream in the dark. I’m not dead. I’m inconvenienced. Inconvenience didn’t kill anyone.
\n\n\nAs we got in the truck yesterday to go for a drive around the island and go antiquing, I looked up and noticed a halo around the sun. I’ve seen these often around the moon, and sometime will catch a refractive prism of light in the sky called a Sun Dog, but I’d never see a full halo around the sun except in winter. So, I took it as a sign...a God Wink. He was telling me... “It’s all part of the Circle of Life. Time is eternal...just go with the flow.”
\n\n\nTime to get back on my horse and ride.
\n\n\n?
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2021-04-21T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/04/21/life-is-a-mystery.html", "tags": ["Faith","Overcoming Obstacles","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/04/02/coming-in-like-a-lion.html", "title": "Coming in Like a Lion", "content_html": "\n“For I want you to know how great a struggle I have for you and for those at Laodicea and for all who have not seen me face to face, that their hearts may be encouraged, being knit together in love, to reach all the riches of full assurance of understanding and the knowledge of God’s mystery, which is Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge. I say this in order that no one may delude you with plausible arguments. For though I am absent in body, yet I am with you in spirit, rejoicing to see your good order and the firmness of your faith in Christ.”
\nColossians 2:1-5 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/81e5f9087d.jpg\")
The first day of April gave us...snow! Not a lot. Not even a little. Just a smattering. Just enough to see Mother Nature snub her nose at us and remind us who’s boss. There were just a few scattered flakes when I left for town. My dermatologist took a little shave biopsy of a place on my chest that continues to bug me. She says it’s probably nothing. Of course, that’s what the doctor said when it turned out I had a melanoma, so I err on the side of biopsy.
\n\n\nThirty-one years ago today, Daughter #2 was born. Like April, she came in like a lion and never changed. She is smart, beautiful, sensitive, talented, and much stronger than she gives herself credit for. Like many people who get a college degree, she ended up hating both the restaurant business and management. There wasn’t enough room for her to march to her own drum. She starts a new job next week after spending the pandemic year as a “house spouse” and she’s very excited. Knowing her as I do, there is also a small amount of trepidation “going back out there.”
\n\n\nWe’ve talked a little bit about the anxiety some people are experiencing as the pandemic slowly begins to fade out and they’re faced with being social again. If you look around at your family, friends, and acquaintances, you are bound to find some who really struggled with staying home and away from people. And you’re just as likely to find some who really seemed to thrive in all that aloneness. I’m kind of a combination personality...I’m an extroverted introvert. I love people AND I love my space and my freedom and a certain amount of alone time.
\n\n\nI knew as soon as we had our second vaccine and waited the required two weeks for full immunity, I would have to face the world again on the world’s terms. I also knew from past experience...in order to make that transition more palatable, I need to get out and do more things around people. A little...desensitization therapy. When I came out of the doctor’s office yesterday, my very first instinct was to jump in the truck and head home. Instead, I went to a coffee shop.
\n\n\nAs little as a month ago, I wouldn’t have considered going into a coffee shop and sitting down to read with a really great latte. It would mean taking off my mask...inside...with other people. Did I say INSIDE? Yikes! I pulled up out front and looked in. Ok, there weren’t a lot of people. I wore my double mask to order then took my warmed up cinnamon roll and coffee and found a chair off in the corner by the front window. If too many people came, I could make my escape.
\n\n\nI looked down at that sweet treat on my plate and I knew it would just sit there and get cold if I didn’t hurry up and make a decision. I took off my mask, closed my eyes to thank God for scientists and vaccines, leaned back...and enjoyed the heck out of that experience! I read a few articles, answered a few texts, savored that cinnamon roll ever so slowly, and sipped my coffee. Good to the last drop!
\n\n\nI love this particular coffee house. It’s owned by a woman who spend a great deal of time in Central America as a missionary. When she returned, she wanted to recreate the “bodega”...the central market where people gathered to shop, eat, and commune with each other. Hence...The Bodega was born. With Praise music playing in the background, I looked around at the people. A kind, rather zen fellow walked by and said, “I love your hair....the way you’re wearing it.” He and his lady friend went to a table in the window to drink their coffee and play chess. I’ve taken to wearing two long braids...like Pollyanna. I don’t know why...but I like the dichotomy of braids and grey hair. I don’t really “wear my age.” I wore leggings before leggings were cool. So, why not wear braids?
\n\n\nThere was a tutor working with a little boy. “I...do...not...LIKE.......green...eggs...and...ham!” He read with a clear voice and was immensely proud of himself. A woman sat down at a small table for two, with two drinks. She sat and sat, looking at her watch, staring at her phone. Finally she sighed, picked up the spare drink to take with her and threw her empty cup in the trash on her way out. A man and a woman worked on lesson plans for a class and a group of friends enjoyed lunch together talking with great animation...their hands waving in the air for emphasis.
\n\n\nMy friend Kathy from church texted me. I told her where I was. She said if I could wait thirty minutes, she’d come down to visit me. We had a long, lovely talk together. I hadn’t seen her to really sit and talk since this time last year. There was a lot to catch up on, and we reluctantly parted a full two hours later. We held hands and prayed together before we made our goodbyes. I love that.
\n\n\nI went on to run the rest of my errands and headed home, dinner in hand, to greet my sweetheart. He kept the home fires burning for me. Good thing, because it was darned cold! All told, I’d say my trip into the fray was a marked success. This will make the next trip easier and each successive one easier still. And soon, things will begin to feel more normal...even with the precautions we should continue to embrace till we get free of this captor. Soon, our chains will fall.
\n\n\n?
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2021-04-02T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/04/02/coming-in-like-a-lion.html", "tags": ["Comfort","Courage","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/03/10/day-adulting.html", "title": "Day 359: Adulting 101", "content_html": "\n“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”
\nRomans 8:28 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/2d2feb0591.jpg\")
Dinner at Chez McKinney...table for two!
\n\n\nI can stay in for days and days at a time and find plenty to do. But, once I had my pre-op Covid test yesterday, they gave me a little instruction sheet. It said ...”Go straight home and stay there till you come to the hospital for surgery.” Are you kidding me??? I’m in FLORIDA. It’s 70 degrees and sunny! Waaaaaaaah....SO not fair. Well, ok...the adult in me says I surely wouldn’t want to come this far and run the risk of getting sick and not being able to have my surgery. That would be stupid. So, I’m sucking it up and putting on my big girl panties. *sigh*
\n\n\nThat’s not the only adult thing I’ve done lately. I mean...we both have our vaccines. We’ve made wills. And...I placed our very first DoorDash order last night!!! I think that makes us certified grownups. Or was that when we got our first AARP card? Hard to know. All I know is, this all feels really good. Like we’re finally making great strides towards a new normal. And we had Outback delivered to our hotel room. We can’t get that at home...we live too far out in the country. It’s probably a good thing. We’d go broke, we’d get fat, and I’d never cook again!
\n\n\nAs I sat down to write last night, I heard a train in the distance. I love that sound...it takes me back to my childhood when I’d hear the trains going up and down along the Ohio river a few block from our house. Then, when I built my house in Western Colorado, I could hear the trains on the other side of the hill behind our house...their lonesome whistle signaling the one place where traffic crossed the tracks. When I lived in my camper up by the river, the trains came by on the other side of the field and I could feel the rumble of their passing in my chest. Visiting Sue in the Denver Metro area always brought trains in the middle of the night and I found them comforting. As a matter of fact, there have only been two places I’ve ever lived where trains weren’t present in my everyday life...out on the farm...and on the Ponderosa.
\n\n\nAs the train came closer, Mr. FixIt pulled the curtain back in our room and....there it went. Slowly rolling past the parking lot outside our window in Downtown Tampa. I love that sound. It takes me home.
\n\n\nWhen is adulting easy? When we are too young to understand the full scope of the responsibilities we are juggling...or, when we’ve had enough hard experiences that our vision is a little more acute? I guess adulting is what we make of it. If we don’t win, we learn....and that’s really winning in the long run, isn’t it.
\n\n\n?
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2021-03-10T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/03/10/day-adulting.html", "tags": ["Courage","Aging","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/03/07/day-the-ups-downs-of.html", "title": "Day 356: The Ups \u0026 Downs of Travel", "content_html": "\n“Love should always make us tell the truth. Then we will grow in every way and be more like Christ, the head of the body. Christ holds it together and makes all of its parts work perfectly, as it grows and becomes strong because of love.”
\nEphesians 4:15-16 CEV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/4bf5850a20.jpg\")
The View from Fancy Gap, VA Looking Out Over NC
\n\n\nThis feels pretty normal. Well, if you call still wearing an N95 mask and carrying your own cleaning supplies with you to go over the hotel room when you arrive...normal. The drive was the same as always. We popped a frozen container of my homemade beef and noodles in the HotLogic Mini and plugged in into the converter, then plugged the converter in one of the 12v outlets in the truck. Four hours later, when we stopped for gas, we pulled it out and had a nice hot home cooked meal. SO good and so much better for you than fast food.
\n\n\nI love coming over Fancy Gap. I remember the first time I ever drove this mountain. A friend and I were heading to Myrtle Beach pulling TOW-Wanda and it was raining cats and dogs. The fog was so thick you could hardly see the end of the hood of my truck. I followed the tail lights of the semi in front of my in order to get over the mountain. THAT was a trip!
\n\n\nThe weather was cool and the sunshine was bright. The traffic wasn’t bad at all, even driving through Charlotte at rush hour. That’s what happens when you travel on Saturday. We got a good rate on a room at a Comfort Inn. It isn’t crowded at all. Surprisingly, people are wearing masks. As a matter of fact, other than those in their cars, EVERYONE wore masks. Maybe they’re not falling for this “open everything up everywhere” nonsense. I hope not, because...we’ve seen this movie before and it doesn’t end well.
\n\n\nI love staying in a hotel. And honestly, it’s not a big deal to strip the bed and put your own mattress cover on it. We used the sheets that were on the bed, but left the thin, sheet like coverlet pulled down. We also used a new antibacterial fabric spray that Tide came out with, so I think we’re good. The only downside is, Mr. FixIt and his TV. Normally in the evenings at our house, I watch the news with him, and maybe an episode or two of The Big Bang, then I’m off to the bedroom to write. But when you’re in a hotel room, there’s no escaping that noise. We worked out a compromise. He watched Indiana Jones...a movie he’s seen a dozen times so he didn’t have to have the sound up too far. And, I had my headphones on with my “writing background”....a thunderstorm. It’s all about give and take in a relationship.
\n\n\nDay one....done!
\n\n\n?
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2021-03-07T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/03/07/day-the-ups-downs-of.html", "tags": ["Travel","Fun","Comfort","Courage","Road Trip"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/02/28/day-heading-into-mud-season.html", "title": "Day 349: Heading into Mud Season", "content_html": "\n“God will command his angels to protect you wherever you go. They will carry you in their arms, and you won't hurt your feet on the stones. You will overpower the strongest lions and the most deadly snakes.”
\nPsalms 91:11-13 CEV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/9e919bc26b.jpg\")
After a week of stunning springlike weather, the waterworks were scheduled to get turned on during the night. We’re supposed to get more than two inches of rain this week. When that is added to already saturated ground after the snow melted, we have flood warnings out all over the state. As a matter of fact, in an effort to be prepared, our Governor has issued a State of Readiness for all of our public services...just in case. I have to say, I have been pleasantly surprised by the actions of the Governor’s Office during the last year.
\n\n\nWhile I love those sunny spring days that make you feel like you’ve been let out of prison, I also deeply appreciate the heavy rains of spring. Especially if they are accompanied by thunderstorms. The only bad thing is, the ground has been frozen for months, and as it warms up and rain floods over saturated soil, the shallow root systems can give way and we get a lot of falling trees. This can take out the power lines, which isn’t as pleasant. Hopefully, we’ll get by and not have to run the generator.
\n\n\nWe’ve faired well with our second dose of the Covid vaccine. Last night marked 48 hours, and my arms is only slightly sore....a little warm, red, and itchy still. Mr. FixIt says his is gone. I spoke to a friend of mine yesterday and she said she had a terrible reaction with headache, fever and nausea, but she was starting to pull out of it last night. The rest of my friends seem to have gotten through it well. We live in a rural area, and I hate to say, there are some being persuaded by faith groups to abstain from the vaccine. This saddens me.
\n\n\nOur parents didn’t think twice about getting us vaccinated for polio when we were kids. I never thought twice when I got my own children vaccinated. I worked in a family medicine clinic and vaccinated hundreds of little ones. We all want to get back to normal life. And it isn’t going to happen until we have herd immunity. And, the longer we wait, the more time there is for the virus to develop variants that can be even more harmful. I know the numbers are going down...that is a good thing. But, they are kind of maintaining a plateau right now, and that’s not good. I don’t want anyone else to suffer and die unnecessarily. I’m sure you don’t either. I know it’s a personal choice, but if you’re worried about how it might affect you, I’m here to say it’s not bad at all and I would encourage you to take it when your turn comes around. Let’s get this thing over with and get back to our lives!
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/7f13e24c11.jpg\")
I wanted some comfort food yesterday, so I made beef and noodles. I love when I cook enough for four meals...I can just pull one out of the freezer and pop it in my Hot Logic Mini and have a hot meal in record time. I have some apples that I don’t want to go to waste so I’m going to bake a pie today. We have a lot to do this week, so we’re making our lists and checking them twice. Every day is another day closer to surgery and feeling better!
\n\n\n?
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2021-02-28T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/02/28/day-heading-into-mud-season.html", "tags": ["Health","Overcoming Obstacles","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/02/08/day-sifting-through-the-sands.html", "title": "Day 329: Sifting Through the Sands of Time", "content_html": "\n“So we can confidently say, “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?””
\nHebrews 13:6 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/a4059bb3bc.jpg\")
Super Bowl Sunday was decidedly different this year. We always have the whole family over and I make trays and trays of wings and finger foods. We have that great queso cheese in the slow cooker and spinach artichoke dip. Crudités and chips for dipping. This year featured me and Mr. FixIt and leftover roast chicken sandwiches. Quiet and a little lonely. I sure miss the kids, but there’s light at the end of the tunnel. The second dose of the covid vaccine comes soon, then I feel like we can breathe a little easier.
\n\n\nI spent the day nosing around Ancestry filling in the blanks on Mr. FixIt’s side of the family. It’s a little easier when I work on it while he’s in the room with me. It’s neat when I find pictures of family members that neither of us have seen. We found a lot of information about ancestors who fought in the Civil War. All the while, watching the last football game of the season.
\n\n\nI’m one of those fair weather fans who get into things like The Final Four and Super Bowl. Don’t ask me to sit and watch every game throughout the entire season. I just can’t do it. However, I love the excitement of the finished product. I especially enjoy the Super Bowl commercials. There were some funny ones this year. There were quite a few that were heart warming and gave all the feels. And, of course...there were several that left us looking at each other and saying, “What the heck was that all about?” I especially enjoyed the Jeep commercial with Bruce Springsteen. It’s about re-uniting and meeting in the middle...a place I sorely hope we can find again sooner rather than later.
\n\n\nOne of the high points of my weekend was watching “Big” in her high school swim meet. She is on two teams...high school and competitive. She had high hopes to be in the Olympics this summer. It’s good to have goals, and...it’s really good when you are confident in your abilities and know when and where to focus your energy. At one point, she had to make a choice with swimming....strictly competitive or college team focused. She’s a bright girl. She’ll have academic and athletic scholarships and she’ll have a good choice of colleges. And, at the end of this month, she’ll be 17! Honest...I have no idea how she grew up so fast.
\n\n\nThere is a girl on her team who never swam before this year. First meets are so stressful and this girl came off the block and did a belly flop. Then, she was lapped by everyone else at least twice. But she kept going no matter how long it took. I was so proud of her for not giving up. But I was even more proud that Big supported her and comforted her. She has such a big heard and is the kind of student the others look up to. You can’t ask for much more in a persona than that.
\n\n\nSo, it’s Monday. It’s a new week. Tom Brady won another Super Bowl with Tampa Bay as a relatively “old guy”. Let’s bring the world back to center and rise up...let’s make it a great week!
\n\n\n?
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2021-02-08T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/02/08/day-sifting-through-the-sands.html", "tags": ["Grace","Courage","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/02/05/day-feeling-a-little-frayed.html", "title": "Day 326: Feeling a Little Frayed, Are We?", "content_html": "\n“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”
\nGalatians 6:2 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/ec67f2d8b2.jpg\")
I chat every night with one of the dearest people in my life. Sue always has a supportive word, a kind thought, a golden nugget of wisdom to share with me. I didn’t grow up with a sister. One of my lifelong friends is my baby sister. Sue is the older sister I didn’t get to have and I love her dearly. I’ve been sharing with her of late....a bone weariness of the things that have been thrown at us for far too long.
\n\n\nI’ve gone through the grief of losing a spouse. I’ve gone through severe clinical depression and near death. I’ve gone through huge life changes that were cringeworthy in their own right. Now, I’m in a boat with a whole bunch of people...and we’re kinda hanging by a thread. Oh, we’re ok. We’re gonna make it through. We’re old enough and experienced enough to know...this too shall pass. But, man.....that constant surge of adrenalin and cortisol is getting pretty old.
\n\n\nEveryone handles stress in their own way. We all have different coping mechanisms. Some of us have more tools in our toolbox, simply because we’ve been through therapy to get us through crises. And, some of us have been blessed to have had a relatively easy life without huge upheaval. Getting out for a drive in the sunshine the other day was wonderful. Connecting with supportive friends is helpful. Having someone with me to share the day to day is a true blessing and it’s not lost on me how different things could have been if this would have happened say...six or seven years ago.
\n\n\nI have dear friends who are actively grieving tragic losses. To have to do that and cope with pandemic burnout seems unusually cruel and inhumane. One thing that has been giving me rays of hope is watching the “Christmas Covid Crush” begin to subside and the number of vaccinations going up. Slowly...ever so slowly. Nothing ever happens as fast as we would like it to, does it?
\n\n\nI find when I am at the end of my rope, there is decidedly less of the “ME” I need to get me through whatever I am facing. And I’ve faced enough crises to know...when there’s less “ME”, there’d better be more GOD because the alternative is a big black hole of despair. Oh, wouldn’t it be nice if God plucked us off the end there and set us down gently into a field of clover...by a nice stream, perhaps? But....noooooo...God ties a knot in that rope and helps me to hang on. He has the power to “fix things” for me. But, if He did that...what would I need HIM for? What would I learn from the experience?
\n\n\nSue sends me articles from time to time. I found this one about “Hitting the Pandemic Wall” to be helpful so I thought I would share it with you today. There are some good ideas and links that you may use. But, I also thought I would ask you some questions.
\n\n\nWhat are you doing in your daily life to keep from feeling overwhelmed? Have any past experiences helped give you skills you can use during this crisis? I know it can’t just be me that’s feeling a little...strained.
\n\n\nIn other words....really...
\n\n\nHow are YOU doing?
\n\n\n?
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2021-02-05T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/02/05/day-feeling-a-little-frayed.html", "tags": ["Health","Grief","Hope","Grace","God","Fear","Courage","Insight"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/01/22/day-covid-vaccine-check.html", "title": "Day 312: Covid Vaccine #1...Check!", "content_html": "\n““You’re blessed when you’re at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule.”
\nMatthew 5:3 MSG\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/434f887afa.jpg\")
My good friend “Sparky” sent me a link early Tuesday morning and said to go there to sign up for the Covid vaccine. I hit send around 9:00am Tuesday. Sparky called yesterday morning on her way home from getting her first shot. She advised me to answer the phone when it rings, even if I don’t recognize the number, because volunteers were using their personal cell phones to call you to schedule. I made sure the sound was turned up and sure enough, around 2:00 yesterday afternoon, they called to see if we could be there at 4:12. I told her we absolutely would be there!
\n\n\nWe arrived a few minutes early and were greeted by a nice man who directed us to a parking space. He said we should walk up to the two men at the table by the sidewalk five minutes before our scheduled time. They flagged us in. Another man opened the outside doors, a third opened the inside doors. A fourth man walked right up to us and directed us to the next available clerk. It took maybe three minutes to get signed in. We turned around and a man was waiting for us to follow him into another room. He directed us to two empty chairs.
\n\n\nThe nurse practitioner introduced herself, confirmed my name and birthdate, asked me several questions, told me what to expect, then gave me my shot. Several years ago, I got hives after taking an antibiotic, so instead of waiting the required fifteen minutes to make sure I didn’t have any adverse reaction, I was given a pink card and asked to wait thirty. I felt nothing remarkable and we were sent on our way. No lines. Forty minutes start to finish.
\n\n\nWest Virginia has the unusual distinction of being Number 1 in the country as far as per capita vaccinations for Covid. I have to say, our Governor may come across as quite a doofus from time to time, but they’ve got this down to a science and if it keeps going this way, we’re doing a great job. I’m very proud to be a Mountaineer.
\n\n\nAs soon as we got to the truck, we both took two extra strength Tylenol to ward off any side effects, like muscle or joint pain and fever. As of this writing, just before bedtime last night, I didn’t feel anything amiss. I am so relieved to get this first shot behind us. We received the Moderna vaccine, so we will get the second dose on February 18th. Once the second dose is in and two weeks pass, we should have our antibodies built up with a 95% effective rate. Then, I can go to Florida for my surgery...and a little beach time!!!
\n\n\nWe are aware we will still need to wear our masks and use good hand washing techniques and keep our distance, but we can breathe a little easier and start doing a little more. Once enough of us have the vaccines, we will develop herd immunity and we will reach a semblance of normalcy. No...there are no little microchips running around inside my body. The vaccine will not change my DNA nor will it alter my brainwaves in any way. It is not the “mark of the beast”. What it will do is tell my cells “This is what a Covid-19 virus looks like. When you see it, kill it.”
\n\n\nSome people think this vaccine was created way too fast and was put out way too quickly. But the science behind this vaccine is the same one that kept Ebola from getting out and killing the world. Picture a taxi cab carrying little army men to the sites they are needed. For each enemy, the soldier needs to carry a specific weapon. What science has discovered is the taxi cab. For Covid, the soldiers carry this weapon. When it’s a different virus someday down the road, the scientists can send the little soldiers off with a different weapon, but they can ride in the same taxi. The taxi was built before Covid spread. Once the Chinese geneticists released the gene sequence for the covid virus, all the scientists had to do, was get just the right info into the ammunition the soldiers carried and send them in their little taxis in all the test subjects to make sure everything worked. They gave some of them the right ammo. They gave the rest sterile water. Then they documented EVERYTHING, gathered the data, and submitted the information for an Emergency Use Authorization.
\n\n\nI hope this simplifies things and helps you to understand the process a little better. My last job before retirement was Clinical Pharmaceutical Research Associate for a huge Multiple Sclerosis study. This is what I did for a living, so once I saw the data that was coming in, I had no qualms about taking the vaccine. I trust science, I trust Dr. Fauci, and I believe now that we are getting a solid plan in place, we’ll start seeing light at the end of the tunnel. Last night, Dr. Fauci said the data looks like we MIGHT be heading into a plateau, but things are still going to be bad for another month or two. That’s when we begin to head into warmer weather, people will be able to get outside more, more vaccines will be in arms, and hopefully more people are following health guidelines to prevent the spread. We still need to keep our eyes on the variants that are showing up, but the rest of this is marginally optimistic as far as I’m concerned.
\n\n\n?
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2021-01-22T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/01/22/day-covid-vaccine-check.html", "tags": ["Health","Gratitude","Courage","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/01/21/day-another-dawnanother-day.html", "title": "Day 311: Another Dawn...Another Day", "content_html": "\n“dear friend, and I pray all goes well for you. I hope you are as strong in body, as I know you are in spirit.”
\n3 John 1:2 CEV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/19e20fe12b.jpg\")
I had a very long day yesterday. Mr. FixIt left early to go to Sam’s during the time set aside for Prime Members...before the doors open to the general public. There were only three people in the whole warehouse. I elected not to go because I wanted to watch President Trump’s farewell speech at Andrews. It is not lost on me that many of you did not want to see him go and the day was sad for you. I feel for your sadness, disappointment, anger...because I’ve known the same. If this contentious election taught me anything, it’s the ability to put myself in someone else’s shoes and have empathy. It has also given me an opportunity to step back and look at politics through a different lens. Instead of standing so far apart, slinging stones and arrows...I recognize this is the process our country was built on. This is the reason there is not a monarchy or an autocracy. Our form of government was designed to take turns. The pendulum swings...wildly at times...but it always comes back in a different direction. I think, doing a job we can be proud of is a worthy goal for either side and working together for the greater good gives us ample opportunity for improvement. There has been an awful lot of divisive rhetoric over time that makes us see the worst in each other. I strive to do the opposite.
\n\n\nI think the most beautiful thing I saw yesterday in the entire day’s event was the reading of the inaugural poem by Amanda Gorman, America’s first-ever National Youth Poet Laureate. At the tender age of 22, this Harvard student...a descendant of slaves, the daughter of a single mom...spoke with intelligence, beauty, grace, and poise. Her slender hands painting the air as she sent her well chosen words into our hearts...a balm to heal broken places. The fact she stood on the very spot where such violence shook our nation just two weeks prior exemplified the stark contrast between darkness and light. I was mesmerized and want to share it here...not only as a record of the day, but as a testament to what I have always strived for in my own writing. That there is goodness in the world...even in the darkest of times. And, that we have far more in common than the differences that divide us. I always strive to be a uniting force. I’m not always successful...but it is in the trying that we find a worthy endeavor.
\n\n\nYou can read the words of the Inaugural Poem here as well as view Ms. Gorman’s reading.
\n\n\nAs the day wore on, and the more mundane events commenced, I gave in and took a little nap. I was freezing and climbed under the blankets, allowing their warmth to comfort me in the soft cocoon of slumber. Afterward, Mr. FixIt and I watched the news, then the first press briefing, then...the star-studded Inauguration Celebration they had in lieu of the traditional balls. Actually, I much preferred that. We can’t go to the balls...and who wants to watch other people dance? I loved having a program of inspiring music and the celebration of Americans...not just America. The story of the little girl with the virtual lemonade stand that raised $80,000 to help others. The little boy who overcame a stutter and read part of an Inaugural Speech. The words of encouragement and wisdom from prior presidents. It was generous and selfless, humble and kind. Inclusive.
\n\n\nFinally, when we were nearing the middle of the show, I took a break to make us a little sweet treat. As usual, I didn’t have a recipe in mind, but I knew I wanted warm muffins and a cup of tea. I searched around in the pantry, and this is what I came up with. Amounts are approximations, as I don’t really measure...I kinda eyeball it.
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/f5ff642770.jpg\")
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/01a2e02159.jpg\")
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/18cfe901a1.jpg\")
Flapjack Muffins
\n\n\nMix together throughly by hand. Then fold in whatever little extras you want. I added a cup of a dried cranberry & pecan mix that I use as a topping for yoghurt or salad. I also added a cup of semisweet chocolate chips.
\n\n\nI have the really big muffin pans so this made five. It would have made six if you didn’t fill the cups as much. Bake for about 25 minutes at 350 till a toothpick comes out clean. I split them and buttered each half and ate them while still hot from the oven.
\n\n\nWarmth and goodness heals us from within. May we strive for moving closer to each other and heal with warmth and goodness...an maybe a nice muffin and a cup of tea.
\n\n\n?
\n\n\n\n\n\n\n“Love is more important than anything else. It is what ties everything completely together.”
\nColossians 3:14 CEV\n
#Unity, #CommonGood, #MiddleGround
\n\n", "date_published": "2021-01-21T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/01/21/day-another-dawnanother-day.html", "tags": ["Faith","Overcoming Obstacles","Growth","Grace","Peace","Forgiveness","Courage","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/01/16/day-observing-history-or-doomscrolling.html", "title": "Day 306: Observing History or Doom-Scrolling?", "content_html": "\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/deb73ce245.jpg\")
I’ve watched national disasters play out on TV ever since that fateful day in 1963 when our beloved JFK was assassinated. Bad and good...the theater that is America plays out on the screen before us. We watch for many reasons. To observe, educate, understand, and be advised. From “Ok, Houston, we’ve had a problem here” to “I am not a crook” to “Diana, Princess of Wales, has died in a car crash in Paris.” Our hearts leap to our throats and we turn our attention to the news.
\n\n\nThis has been a solid year of “We interrupt this broadcast to bring you this breaking news report.” Seriously, there were times when I’d think, “OMGosh...what the **** now???” It’s stressful. Our bodies release cortisol in the response to danger and chronically elevated cortisol levels puts us at risk for many health problems including probably the most obvious...anxiety and depression. Not surprising.
\n\n\nIt’s one thing to observe history, take note, feel the feelings, and get back to the business of daily living. It’s quite another to chase down story after story, inhaling them like a desperate chain-smoking junky sitting in the dark on the sofa with a bag of Cheetos and a beer. It’s called Doom-Scrolling....read a story, there’s a link to another, read that, hit the next link. Before you know it, hours have passed, you have no real answers as to what’s really going on, and your mind is buzzing like a toaster in a bathtub.
\n\n\nGuilty as charged. I do this sometimes. I’m an avid learner, a curious critter who wants to find out what makes everything tick. What makes them believe that? How did we get here? Who is saying what about whom. Maybe part of that comes from being in an emotionally abusive household with an alcoholic father. I wanted to know what was coming next and I’d do anything I could to be prepared. But, that kind of preparation lies dangerously close to control and we all know...there is very little in this world that we can actually control.
\n\n\nThe chatter of impending violence surrounding the inauguration has had my inner investigator working overtime this week. I can’t fall asleep because my mind is churning in a dozen different directions, so I end up picking up the phone to check out “just one more thing”. Thursday night was like that and I finally drifted off to sleep around dawn, only to get an elbow to the back of the head when Mr. FixIt turned over. It was a long night.
\n\n\nWe just have a few more days till this moment in time is passed and it becomes relegated to history. I pray for peace. No violence. No injuries or death. It’s liable to be a bumpy ride, so hold on tight. And remember, goodness wins in the end.
\n\n\n?
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2021-01-16T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/01/16/day-observing-history-or-doomscrolling.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Fear","Courage","Warning","Choices","Control"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/01/15/day-fear-of-writing-wrongs.html", "title": "Day 305: Fear of Writing Wrongs", "content_html": "\n“Nothing is impossible for God!””
\nLuke 1:37 CEV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/f6a1ca0969.jpg\")
In the eight years I’ve been writing this blog, there have been many, many times I’ve sat down to write, asked God for words, then argued with Him for an hour before finally giving in. There have been subjects I’ve broached that have scared me on many levels. There have been times I’ve been sure every reader would say, “Yeah...I’m done with this chick!” And, I have no doubt there have been many who have done just that. I do try to stay away from controversial subjects that are divisive, yet sometimes it just can’t be helped if that’s the tug at my heart.
\n\n\nAfter last week’s attack on the Capital, I sat in front of my computer and seriously considered going back through all my years of writing and “un-publish” anything that might make me a target of someone whose views differed from mine. I was quite honestly scared. I sat there for the longest time, my fingers hovering over the keyboard, not knowing what to do. As I always do...after I wrestle with something on my own for far too long...I asked God what He thought I should do. I closed my eyes and listened with my heart and remembered...I prayed for all those words to come. Who am I to second guess God for the delivery?
\n\n\nI am not saying I hear voices nor am I saying I speak for God. I most certainly don’t. But I do listen for the “still small voice”...the gentle nudges...and sometimes the flat out whacks on the head that He sends me when I ask. And I try to do what I think He would want me to do. Today, I think He wants me to talk to you about betrayal.
\n\n\nI was in a long term relationship once that taught me more life lessons than any one person should have to face. I saw this person as the answer to my prayers...my knight in shining armor. As is often the case when you are totally in love with someone, I downplayed his flaws. I saw him as “deep” and “complicated” and made excuses for slights and hurts when I shouldn’t have. I did not see him the way many others did so I defended him with a vengeance. They didn’t understand him the way I did.
\n\n\nThen, eventually...he betrayed me. But, even after I found out he had, I refused to believe it because I was totally convinced he was who he presented himself to be...or, who I WANTED him to be, actually. It wasn’t until I asked him to his face and he admitted it that I very slowly began to let the truth into my mind and my heart. It was hard. It was one of the hardest things in my life that I have ever had to go through. It was made more difficult by the subtle nuances of my own psyche. “How could I have been so blind?” “OMGosh! I must look so stupid.” I tore myself up for not knowing something I really couldn’t know...because I wouldn’t let myself see.
\n\n\nI don’t know if we can ever go through a whole long life without feeling the sting of betrayal from someone we truly hold in high esteem. It seems implausible. It’s happened to me more than once, and one time hurts just as much as another. What helped me through it was some really good therapy, finding my voice, learning to use it constructively, and looking at the world with a bit more of a critical eye.
\n\n\nOnce you’ve gone through something like that, you have a tendency to be able to spot certain behaviors that present as red flags...things that are reminders...familiar feelings...similar words and phrasing...even body language and posturing. Therapy taught me not to berate myself for not seeing, which eased my burden through the healing process.
\n\n\nRelationships are complicated, beliefs are deep seated. No one could possibly have made me see reality till I saw it myself...and any attempt to try would have been met with great resistance. Fortunately, I had people who loved me deeply, who were totally nonjudgmental, and welcomed me with open arms in my broken sadness. Love will always win over hate, anger, and revenge. I eventually learned to see this person for who he was and recognized my own culpability in the situation. Fortunately, we both learned from the situation and grew in our own ways, in our own directions, and became better people.
\n\n\nIf you have someone in your life that is feeling betrayed in any relationship, I hope you can refrain from saying “I told you so.” Instead, maybe you can embrace them and tell them you understand it must be really painful, and you love them, and you’ll be there for them should they need you. It may take a great deal of time and patience, but I think that’s what Jesus would want us to do in situations like that.
\n\n\n?
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2021-01-15T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/01/15/day-fear-of-writing-wrongs.html", "tags": ["Love","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/01/12/day-the-birds-of-the.html", "title": "Day 302: The Birds of the Air", "content_html": "\n“The Lord isn't slow about keeping his promises, as some people think he is. In fact, God is patient, because he wants everyone to turn from sin and no one to be lost.”
\n2 Peter 3:9 CEV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/9622a30c63.jpg\")
It’s been a long time since we had a really deep down, heart-to-heart chat. It’s been a long time since I needed to process some really difficult things and deal with the resultant side effects. I’m NOT going to dive into politics here...and I don’t want to stir up a political maelstrom. If that starts up, I’ll just delete the unhelpful comments. This isn’t about politics. This is about pain.
\n\n\nI have PTSD. It’s one of those awful things you sometimes get when you face a particularly painful trauma, and I got it from watching Mr. Virgo have his heart attack and the ensuing resuscitation. It went on for what seemed like hours. I was left with flashbacks and debilitating anxiety. EMDR went a long way toward easing that pain. And, it’s been a long time since I’ve experienced the effects.
\n\n\nAfter the events of last week at our Nation’s Capitol, I was surprised I wasn’t feeling worse than I was. I seemed to be handling things pretty well and went on about my business. I now realize what I had done was to compartmentalize my feelings. I kinda packed them up in a neat and tidy box labeled “Bad Things” and pushed it aside. That doesn’t mean I didn’t FEEL things. I just dampened them down and moved them aside.
\n\n\nOver the weekend I started getting a splitting headache and my body hurt everywhere. I was afraid I was getting sick, but this felt more familiar. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. I had an experience a few years ago where I came into close contact with someone I believe to be dabbling in dark things. My relationship with God has been so strong since Mr. Virgo died, that I seem to have this radar that goes off when I’m around darkness. I not only feel that crawly sensation on my skin, but I literally get sick to my stomach. I believe that is a spiritual attack and I am very careful to stay away from such things.
\n\n\nA Facebook “friend” writes posts from time to time about church and on the surface, it’s very upbeat. On closer inspection, there seems to be something off. A little too “Stepford Wife” or something. Yesterday, there was a post with a rather surprising photo that maybe could have been read a couple of different ways. I went in to read the comments for an indication as to which direction this was leading. Someone posted a comment with a video. I had seen this video the day before with a comment saying someone from West Virginia had posted it.
\n\n\nI totally expected to open the video and hear something Biblical and I can guarantee you....it was NOT. It was vile and I won’t go into further detail and I certainly won’t share it here. I had that immediate creepy crawly dark sensation on my skin and ran to the bathroom to throw up. I was sick for over two hours. I climbed in bed and read my bible for a while. That always comforts me and reminds me, God always wins in the end.
\n\n\nI felt much better afterwards. The headache is all but gone, as is the creepy crawly feeling. The enemy vanquished back. The verse I read was Luke 12:22-26...where we are told God takes care of the birds and we are so much more important than any birds. When I sat down to write my post last night, the first thing I saw on Facebook was this picture of my cousin Mike, cradling a female cardinal in his hands. It had managed to get into their screened porch, so he gently picked it up to take it outside. We call him “The Bird Whisperer”. I loved this little God wink...a cardinal coming to remind me how important we are to God and we have no need to worry if we remain close to his side.
\n\n\nThese are dark and trying times. I’ve been carefully winnowing my friends list on Facebook again. Not to weed out those whose political beliefs don’t mesh with mine. I welcome respectful repartee. But I don’t respect violence in any “way, shape, form or fashion”, as Governor Justice says.
\n\n\nToday is a brand new day and no matter what comes my way, I know...I can do all things with Christ who strengthens me.
\n\n\n???
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2021-01-12T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/01/12/day-the-birds-of-the.html", "tags": ["Faith","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","God","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Insight"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/01/09/day-salve-to-a-sore.html", "title": "Day 299: Salve to a Sore Place", "content_html": "\n“Jesus said to his disciples: I tell you not to worry about your life! Don't worry about having something to eat or wear. Life is more than food or clothing. Look at the crows! They don't plant or harvest, and they don't have storehouses or barns. But God takes care of them. You are much more important than any birds. Can worry make you live longer? If you don't have power over small things, why worry about everything else?”
\nLuke 12:22-26 CEV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/c45ede23f9.jpg\")
Whenever my grandma hit a rough patch, she’d look for something to ease her soul and afterwards, she’d say, “‘Deed, that’s like salve to a sore place.” It might be a chat with a friend on the front porch, or hugging her babies around the neck, or sitting in her window chair reading her Bible. Whatever came her way, it didn’t take her too long till she had herself lifted back up by the bootstraps and off she went a’runnin’ again.
\n\n\nLast year was rough, but even with the rough stuff, there were many moments of joy that lifted my spirits. Then this week hit, and I’m not going to lie...I’ve had a hard time. Being the person who’s always the cheerleader, I wasn’t sure how I was going to come back in here today and talk to y’all. I just didn’t know where to start or what to talk about. There’s just too, too much and Lord knows there’s enough of it “out there”. I didn’t want it “in here”. So...I went looking for that same energy my grandma gave me whenever I needed a little salve for my sore places.
\n\n\nI started out on YouTube listening to worship music then I turned back in time to old timey hymns. I clicked on a couple of black and white documentaries done in 1965 back in the mountains of North Carolina, visiting Appalachian musicians. One I really liked, but early in the movie, they’re following along with some old feller who was hunting groundhogs and I didn’t think y’all would appreciate that so I moved on.
\n\n\nFinally, I stumbled onto an interview of an old Appalachian woman named Ruby and I knew I had what I was looking for. I sat there watching, mesmerized by Ruby’s distinctive accent, talking about the way she was raised and the kind of life she’s lived and I was transported to all those many times my grandma and I sat on the front porch out at the farm...she telling me stories while we strung halfrunner beans to can.
\n\n\nRuby looks off at her land and can’t set her eyes on anything she doesn’t own and she knows peace. She knows Jesus. She knows how to take care of herself. And she knows how to lift herself up by playing Amazing Grace on her guitar every night before bed. I sat on the edge of our bed, listening to her beautiful story as I brushed and braided my hair before bed, and realized...I wasn’t quite as scared as I was when I first sat down to write.
\n\n\nThis big old world was here long before I got here. It’s going to be here long after I’m gone. We’ve lived through troubled times before...we’ll get through these as well. Good Lord willin’ and the creeks don’t rise. In the meantime, may this little slice of Appalachian goodness be salve to your sore places today.
\n\n\nYou can see Ruby’s interview HERE.
\n\n\n?
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2021-01-09T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/01/09/day-salve-to-a-sore.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Fear","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/12/30/day-let-your-light-shine.html", "title": "Day 289: Let Your Light Shine Brighter", "content_html": "\n“When his people pray for help, he listens and rescues them from their troubles. The Lord is there to rescue all who are discouraged and have given up hope.”
\nPsalms 34:17-18 CEV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/da88bbd5cc.jpg\")
My grandma had all kinds of sayings that were descriptive and puzzling and funny and weird. Some were long handed down colloquialisms. Some were just those inside jokes that develop within the family and you’re surprised no one else has heard them...they’re just so accurate. One saying she used a lot...it was an Appalachian take on Karma. If you did something you might not ought to have done, or if you made a simple mistake that came back to bite you in the butt later, Grandma would exclaim... “Well, your chickens are just coming home to roost.” Meaning...you’re going to have to pay for that one.
\n\n\nCovid. You would be hard pressed at this point to find someone who doesn’t know someone in their circle who has had it. I hear more and more, every week. I can’t count anymore how many people I know who have had it or knows someone who has. I find it just as concerning today as I did when this first started spreading like wildfire in March. My only fear is that someone I know and love will get it and die. Thank God, the ones I know personally have been among the fortunates who just get sick. Science is still trying to figure out why some feel nothing much more than a bad cold while others seem a little sick one day and die the next.
\n\n\nIt’s a crazy disease. And seriously, one that should never, ever have gotten out of hand like this in the United States of America. I’m not going to go on a rant over this here, but I have choice words when I’m watching the news with Mr. FixIt...trust me.
\n\n\nThe other day, Daughter #2 called in a panic. They have a good friend who totaled his car a couple of weeks ago and they helped him out. His bubble is small, like theirs, although he does work in assisted living. His patient population had remained untouched by Covid until the week of his accident. And that is when my daughter went to pick him up from the emergency room after his car accident and let him stay with them for a couple of days to make sure he was ok.
\n\n\nWithin a few days, he tested positive for Covid. And, three days later, my daughter and her wife began having symptoms. They went right away and got tested, however, tests can often be negative when taken too early in the course of the illness. They haven’t had another test yet, but the circumstances wouldn’t be any different for them if they had. They are isolated and will schedule a repeat test sometime this week.
\n\n\nI am also thanking God they aren’t any sicker than they are. Right now, it’s mostly the fatigue that’s hitting them, and my daughter says it really doesn’t feel much worse than a really bad cold. Thankfully, she has Type O blood...they say those with that blood type seem to get a less severe case. Which is good because she also has bad asthma.
\n\n\nThey were just trying to do something kind to help their friend out when he crashed his car. They thought they were safe with all the precautions and their small social bubbles. But, it just goes to show you, this disease is nothing to trifle with. We cannot afford to let our collective guard down...which leads me to my main gripe.
\n\n\nSitting in my living room, not seeing my family since March...not seeing my Colorado family since August 2019...not eating in a restaurant since February, not camping, not socializing outside of direct family who also socially isolate and then only visiting outside and distanced. Making all these sacrifices and then watching all those people going through the airports and mingling at the malls, knowing...KNOWING full well what’s going to come in two weeks...it makes me so mad I could spit nails! I worked in medicine for forty-two years. I was married to an internist for twenty-one of those. I know how hard those on the front lines work when there ISN’T a pandemic raging.
\n\n\nAll it would have taken was a warning in January...something deadly is coming. Prepare yourselves. These are the steps you’re going to need to take. Do these things so we can hunker down and get through it and get back to normal as soon as possible. New Zealand did it. Other countries did it.
\n\n\nThis isn’t our Grandfather’s country anymore. What happened to the spirit of a people who rallied around the war effort and sacrificed for others? Those who say “You can’t stop living your life!” Tell that to the 330,000+ families who have lost their beloveds. It just boggles my mind that there are STILL people out there who think this is all a hoax or it’s overblown or it’s just a political ploy to try to control the masses. How many body bags does it take to convince them this is real and the medical community is about to crack?
\n\n\nOk...ok...I got on my soapbox after all. I can’t help it. It’s come after MY baby now! And this mama is pissed!!!
\n\n\nIT’S NOT FOREVER...IT’S JUST FOR NOW!!!
\n\n\nSTAY HOME
\n\n\nWATCH YOUR DISTANCE
\n\n\nWEAR A MASK
\n\n\nWASH YOUR HANDS
\n\n\nAnd, please pray my baby and her wife get better quickly with no complications or lasting side effects.
\n\n\nPLEASE
\n\n\nWhen times are dark....let your light shine brighter!
\n\n\nPhoto Credit: Steve Derrick - https://www.timesunion.com/entertainment/article/Local-artist-unmasks-soul-of-front-line-workers-15513007.php
\n\n\n?
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-12-30T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/12/30/day-let-your-light-shine.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Love","Wisdom","Courage","Warning","Choices","Change","Kindness"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/12/29/day-my-mirror-lies.html", "title": "Day 288: My Mirror Lies!", "content_html": "\n“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”
\nPhilippians 2:3-4 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/3d4d14b190.jpg\")
The house here on the Ponderosa was built in the ‘70s. The closets have sliding mirrored doors, strategically placed so that when I roll out of bed in the morning, my dimply white cheese thighs glare at me unforgivingly.
\n\n\n“Look what you’ve done to us,” they shout! “We used to be so pretty!!!”
\n\n\nI look at the mirror and say, “Shut up, you guys! You brought it on yourself. You’re the ones carrying me into the kitchen 500 times a day. Get a grip!”
\n\n\nI sit on the edge of the bed, feet dangling forlornly over the edge of the bed, and I sigh.
\n\n\n“It’s not my fault, you know. If we had proper wooden closet doors like they do in 21st Century houses, we wouldn’t be having this discussion, now would we? Hmmmmm?” I frown at my walking shoes peeking out from under the edge of the bed.
\n\n\n“And what about you guys? Where have YOU been?” I harrumph with disgust at the traitors hiding under my side of the bed. “I haven’t heard much out of you either!”
\n\n\n“Hey, don’t blame us...we’ve been calling your name for months now, but you don’t listen! And now look at where we all are.”
\n\n\nI’d love to say my mirror lies. So do my thighs and my running shoes. But it’s not true. It’s me. It’s been a hard year. And there were all those cookies and breads and pies and stuff to bake and cook and can. Now...it’s time to pay the piper.
\n\n\nIt’s supposed to be a beautiful day today...not too cool. Just right to get out and walk some of these baked goods off my ample backside and come back to the real world. It would be awful to get to the point where we can get out and do things again and I’d be six feet under from a heart attack or something. Nope, having this conversation with my thighs every morning has to stop. It’s time to get the walking shoes out and send this extra weight packing! After all...if all goes well, we’ll be having our 50th High School Reunion sometime in August of 2021! That’s something Mr. FixIt and I have really been looking forward to!!!
\n\n\nNo need to wait till January 1st to start a New Year’s Resolution. Those never stick anyway. I just want to feel better. I don’t want my hips to hurt and make me have to toss and turn all night. I want to have more energy and less indigestion. I don’t want to live in leggings for the rest of my life.
\n\n\nMy new mantra for 2021... “Use It or Lose It!”
\n\n\n?
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-12-29T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/12/29/day-my-mirror-lies.html", "tags": ["Health","Courage","Aging","Fitness"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/12/20/day-keep-calm-and-bake.html", "title": "Day 281: Keep Calm and Bake On", "content_html": "\n“You surely know that your body is a temple where the Holy Spirit lives. The Spirit is in you and is a gift from God. You are no longer your own. God paid a great price for you. So use your body to honor God.”
\n1 Corinthians 6:19-20 CEV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/f9e9ffc40d.jpg\")
Just before the bombings started in England in WWII, the Queen issued an edict that was produced on signs and posted everywhere to encourage the British citizenry.
\n\n\n“Keep Calm and Carry On”
\n\n\nAfter all, it is what the Brits were known for. Strength and calm in the face of adversity. They are a stoic lot with dry wit, fierce loyalty, and sturdy countenance...all attributes well to be admired and emulated by all.
\n\n\nAs we march toward a Christmas unlike any other you and I have likely experienced, I find myself particularly emotional. I’ve always been one to cry at Kodak commercials. Show me the ones with a soldier coming home to his mom and I’m a puddle. A news story about a little boy with inoperable brain cancer delivering toys to the hospital chemo ward because their funding was cut after Covid struck? I’m a mess.
\n\n\nBabies being born.
\n\n\nPeople holding hands.
\n\n\nChildren baking cookies.
\n\n\nAhhhh...that last one gets me every time. After Mr. Virgo died, I was included in the family baking day at my son-in-law’s house and I felt a renewed hope after such a painful loss. After moving to West Virginia, I flew to Colorado at Christmas for a couple of years. Then it became increasingly expensive and the weather was dicey. I started spending more time in the summers to make up for it.
\n\n\nStill, Facebook floods my feed with memories of Christmas past and much of that includes Mr. Virgo...and baking cookies. And I find my heart hurting. I cannot tease out my memories of Mr. Virgo and discard them simply because I am happily married to a wonderful man. He is woven in there like a thread through the tapestry of my life. I miss my mom at Christmas. I miss my grandparents at Christmas. Why wouldn’t I also miss Mr. Virgo? It’s only natural that I would and does not take away from my love for Mr. FixIt in any way.
\n\n\nI’m missing the whole package of Colorado this year. I haven’t seen my western family since my daughter’s wedding in August 2019. Yesterday was their cookie baking day. Sue told me about it last week. So, I prepared myself for a day of baking yesterday so I could at least be doing the same thing they were doing, even though I’m many miles away. And my heart hurts. Pictures bring tears. A picture of my daughter removing a tray of cookies from the oven. My grandkids decorating cookies. Snow on the mountains. Setting up the new bird-feeder we got them for Christmas. My eyes have been leaking a lot this week.
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/f4e4eaaf08.jpg\")
Then, there are the good things here on the Ponderosa. The neighbors knocking on our door, bringing us cookies and taking a tin of ours along with them. The black cat playing in the snow and sitting on the windowsill, watching me bake. The smell of cookies fresh from the oven. The feel of sourdough as I turn it and set it to rise. The smell of the cold outdoors on my husband’s collar when he returns from errands. The lights on the tree in the grand window of the family room. The phone calls and Christmas cards. The family dropping by for quick visits out of doors to avoid close contact but still getting to see each other. The packages waiting to be wrapped for our West Virginia family.
\n\n\nIt’s ok to feel happy and sad at the same time. This has been a long, hard year. Feeling our feelings is how we process through them. I think the hardest thing I’ve seen this year though, is watching our front line workers in the hospitals...reeling from the aftermath of people insisting on maintaining a normal Thanksgiving. The wave upon wave of illness is taking its told on our healthcare staff as well as our teachers and all essential workers. To see the news and hear of the expected travel for Christmas just breaks me.
\n\n\nI am foregoing my visits with my Colorado family...not only for my own safety, but for theirs and all the people I would contact between here and there. How hard can it be to make a sacrifice for others?
\n\n\nYes...my heart hurts a lot lately. And this too shall pass.
\n\n\n?
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-12-20T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/12/20/day-keep-calm-and-bake.html", "tags": ["Family","Grace","Holiday","Courage","Choices","Kindness","In the Kitchen"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/11/05/day-distraction-therapy.html", "title": "Day 237: Distraction Therapy", "content_html": "\n“Christ encourages you, and his love comforts you. God's Spirit unites you, and you are concerned for others. Now make me completely happy! Live in harmony by showing love for each other. Be united in what you think, as if you were only one person. Don't be jealous or proud, but be humble and consider others more important than yourselves. Care about them as much as you care about yourselves and think the same way that Christ Jesus thought:”
\nPhilippians 2:1-5 CEV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/c983b345c4.jpg\")
Another day of very little political involvement equals another day of peace on the Ponderosa. I started knitting some little scrubbies from a yarn made by Red Lion. It’s got rough little hairs on it and works for dishes as well as exfoliating your skin. I just cast on 20 stitches and knit each row, making them 4”x4”. They make nice little holiday gifts attached to a bar of fancy soap.
\n\n\nI’m determined to have the Christmas tree up by the end of the week. I mean...why not? The world needs all the sparkle it can get, and I’m all about the sparkle. The darkness comes early now. By 6:00, it looks like midnight. That’s not my cup of tea, so to speak. The little white lights of the tree brighten my mood and who doesn’t need that right about now?
\n\n\nCovid is still raging and we are pretty much keeping to ourselves again. Trying to be as self-sufficient as we can be and stay home. I’m working on ways to store all my kitchen gadgets without having to go up and down the stairs all the time. I think I’ll convert a closet that we don’t use and turn it into an appliance garage. A few shelves is all I’d need and it would work out perfectly.
\n\n\nI’ve eaten half that darned apple pie. Holy cats...it is SO good!!! I need to start running or something. Maybe do the Ironman. lol
\n\n\nOne good thing about stepping back from watching anything about the election is giving me time to breathe and see things through a broader lens than the one I get online. I’ve been thinking more and more about this concept of colors. I’m an artsy kinda gal. I am creative and have worked with color for years. I’ve been hearing people saying they’re “purple”. I think most of them are seeing that as being planted in the middle of the road politically. I see it for myself as a way of coming together...of red and blue making purple. Civility. Inclusivity. Compassion. Tolerance. Education. Patience. Peace. Love. Hope. If we cannot find a way...we must MAKE a way.
\n\n\nAt the time of this writing last night, we still did not know who was going to win the presidential race. So, before it is decided, I want to make a commitment to “Choose Purple” as the way to move forward and work toward reducing the divisiveness we are experiencing in our country. I only want one thing...
\n\n\nHealing.
\n\n\n❤️??
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-11-05T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/11/05/day-distraction-therapy.html", "tags": ["Faith","Forgiveness","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/10/29/day-life-is-all-about.html", "title": "Day 230: “Life Is All About What You Give”", "content_html": "\n“I trust you for protection in times of trouble, so don't frighten me.”
\nJeremiah 17:17 CEV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/2276f27884.jpg\")
I usually have a good idea of what I want to talk about in my daily posts when I sit down to write at night. However, sometimes I sit and sit and sit some more without coming up with a clear plan. That’s when I know there’s no beating around the bush...I need to take it to God in prayer and ask Him what HE wants me to write about. Such was the case last night.
\n\n\nOh, sure...I could tell you about the hour and a half we sat on the customer service phone call with the power company. Or, our quick trip to town to pick up our new recliners...which are beautiful and SO comfortable, by the way. Or, how hard it was to put the backs back on once we got them in the house. (Mr. FixIt said the lock goes down...I said up. I won’t tell you who won! Or, I could tell you how we decadently took the rest of the day off and sat in said comfy chairs watching our recording of The Voice. Nope, that isn’t what He wanted me to write about. He wanted me to talk about giving.
\n\n\nIn my prayers, I was nudged to read a devotional that I finished a couple of months ago because it’s as timely...if not more so...now as it was before. It’s called “Unoffendable” by Ryan Leak. This is a ten-day devotional that helps you to see how culpable we all are in this age of offense. The bottom line of the whole thing is simple...“Life Is All About What You Give”. This brings up a complicated point.
\n\n\n“We are what we eat.”
\n\n\nNow, that doesn’t mean we are a cow or a head of cauliflower. It means we put out what we take in. If we take in ugliness and hatred, we are much more likely to put that back out into the world. When we do that, we offend others who disagree with us, and vice versa. When we feed ourselves with “good food” we are much more likely to express goodness to others. And isn’t that what we want more of in the world?
\n\n\nWe have no control over others...we only have control of our reactions to them. I am getting much better at saying, “I don’t find that kind of talk to be helpful.” I’m better at removing myself from situations. And, I am really working on not engaging when I feel “offended”. What I “give” is much more important.
\n\n\nI try to be a cheerleader in these times of unrest. I’m only human...I make mistakes...but I surely try. Let’s try to give out as much goodness as we can in the coming days and weeks. Because, soon....there are going to be a lot of unhappy people, one way or another. Let’s try to be more like Jesus and love others as we love ourselves...as He loves us.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-10-29T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/10/29/day-life-is-all-about.html", "tags": ["Love","God","Courage","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/10/27/day-we-love-who-we.html", "title": "Day 228: We Love Who We Love", "content_html": "\n“You cannot fool God, so don't make a fool of yourself! You will harvest what you plant.”
\nGalatians 6:7 CEV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/6c33218f20.jpg\")
In fourth grade, she sat in the car and cried.
\n\n\n“What’s wrong, sweetheart?”
\n\n\n“I can’t tell you.”
\n\n\n“Why not?”
\n\n\n“Because...you’ll hate me!”
\n\n\n“No, sweetie...there’s nothing in the world that would make me hate you! Tell Mama what’s wrong.”
\n\n\n“I like to look at pretty girls.”
\n\n\nThere it was. The fork in the road. I wasn’t necessarily surprised. She was always a butterfly dancing in the wind. There was great sadness she tried to hide. I didn’t always understand her creativity, her mood, her fierce intellect. She was simultaneously immensely brave and terribly fearful. She could read at the tender age of seventeen months. And when she walked into a room full of people, she could FEEL all their feelings. When she took tests in school, her brain felt like 100 television sets were broadcasting different channels and her job was to pick which one had the right answers.
\n\n\nMy baby girl. The one I waited so long to have. My last child.
\n\n\nShe was an exceptionally beautiful baby. Strangers would cross the street just to stand near us and look in her eyes and smile. She was what is commonly referred to as an “old soul”. She was incredibly sensitive.
\n\n\nWhen she was in sixth grade, she cried on the steps of the school instead of joining in the class dance. In high school, I held her when she cried at the injustice of being called a “stupid effing Jew”. In adolescence, she struggled mightily. In college, they diagnosed her learning disability and she received accommodations. Things finally became a little easier for her. The room full of TV’s reduced to just five.
\n\n\nShe thought she needed to be something she wasn’t in order to receive the approval of others. Maybe I wasn’t openly accepting enough of her 4th grade confession. Maybe I tried to sweep it under the rug. If I did, it wasn’t because I wouldn’t love her if she was gay. It was because I knew she would face more challenges in life by others who wouldn’t accept her. And I hated that for her. She had already been through so much when I was ill, and then when her father and I divorced. For whatever reason, we didn’t really talk about it again till after a terrible breakup with a guy who drank too much and mistreated her. That brought her to her knees.
\n\n\nI’ve always told her, she reminds me of that punching-bag Bozo the Clown we had when we were kids. Whenever she got knocked down, she came right back up. Every. Single. Time. I’m so proud of her. And when she finally found *K*, I was thrilled. Because she blossomed. She is who she really IS with her. They are so good together. They lift each other up and celebrate each other. They work toward their goals. They are best friends and they love and respect each other deeply.
\n\n\nI will never forget the day she called me and said, “Mom, are you sitting down?”
\n\n\nWith slight trepidation, I said, “Yes.”
\n\n\n“I’m going to ask *K* to marry me!”
\n\n\nOMGosh! My heart exploded for her. After watching her struggle for all those years, trying to find herself, she was finally there. The rest of the conversation was filled with “congratulations” and “when is the wedding” and “what are your plans”.
\n\n\nI’ve had many prayerful moments about this. I am a Christian. In my prayers, I asked God to tell me what to do. I had people actually tell me I should just send them each a wedding gift and not go to the wedding. I’ve had people tell me we’re all going to hell. That’s not what God told me. He reminded me HE gave me this child to love and care for and protect...forever. And that’s what I will do...forever.
\n\n\nShe called me in tears the other night regarding the impending confirmation of a Supreme Court Judge who is not supportive of the LGBTQ community, tipping the majority. She asked, “What if they delegitimize our marriage???” Imagine her fear...her sadness...her frustration. I paused, took a deep breath, and said, “Sweetheart, nobody can ever take away the love you and your wife have for each other. NO ONE can take away your relationship. I don’t know what will happen to the paper that joins you. I don’t know what will happen in the courts and in the country and in the world. We’ll just pray that everything works out.” I do know this...God loves them, just as He loves all of us.
\n\n\nI don’t have all the answers. I’m just a mom who loves her daughter to the moon and back. I want her to have the freedom to love who she loves...the same freedom I have and you have. I will fight for the rights of my children. When it is my time to stand before God and have a reckoning of my life, I will tell Him I loved the babies he gave me...no matter what...and I tried to do the best for them. That’s the best I can do.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-10-27T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/10/27/day-we-love-who-we.html", "tags": ["Family","Love","God","Courage","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/10/15/day-gone-fishin-with-the.html", "title": "Day 216: Gone Fishin’ With The Boys", "content_html": "\n“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us.”
\n1 John 4:18-19 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/ab79903e45.jpg\")
Of all things, the check engine light came on in my truck on Tuesday evening. We had to go find an auto parts store yesterday that could run a computer diagnostic test on it. There were three codes...all regarding misfiring in the cylinders. My guess is we need new spark plugs, a tune up, or we had a batch of bad gas. The light went off after she checked...which is what it’s supposed to do. And, it hasn’t come back on. We’ll keep an eye on it and hopefully, we won’t have anymore problems and I can get it checked out at home.
\n\n\nI will have to say, there are a boatload more people here than we imagined there would be. So many people are working remotely now and if you can work from home, you can work from the beach just as easily. Gone are the days of long stretches of empty sand and sparsely attended restaurants, I’m afraid. On the plus side, the merchants are reaping an extended profit season and that’s really good for them.
\n\n\nI visited my favorite knitting shop...The Knitting Addiction In Kitty Hawk. I was happy to see the owner doing well. I was so tempted to buy a nice project to work on, but I still have so much yarn left from my last trips to the beach, I made myself stick to something small. I found it in the cutest kits for Christmas ornaments. That kills two birds with one stone. We always buy a special ornament when we are on vacation. This way, we’ll still get our ornament, and it will be even more special because I’ll be making it.
\n\n\nThe kids went off to do their own thing yesterday so Mr. FixIt and I had all day to ourselves. We had so much fun! We packed up a picnic basket and the cooler, put it in the wagon, and headed to the beach...fishing gear in hand. Fortunately, the condo complex has built an enormous new ramp that goes up and over the dunes so carting gear out and back isn’t quite the chore it used to be. That being said, our foldable wagon does not have wide wheels for the sand. Once we got out on the beach, it was quite the chore dragging it to a socially distanced spot where we felt comfortable.
\n\n\nWe spent all afternoon on the beach. There was a steady breeze coming in off the ocean and I was just a little too cool. I ended up turning my chair to face the sun instead of the waves, wrapped a towel around my shoulders and read all afternoon. Now, THAT was exactly where I wanted to be...with my sweetheart, on the beach. I have been thrilled to see him perk up this week. He’s so much more like the old Mr. FixIt we all know and love. He has missed the beach so much. It’s in his blood and just being here has done wonders for him.
\n\n\nHe and his son are meeting a friend today and going deep sea fishing on a charter. There will only be the three guys and two crewmen. We’ve been so worried about his balance since the stroke, and I was concerned about him being on the boat. But...it’s his son. It’s his life. It’s really overall safe and they’ll keep socially distanced. He’ll sit the majority of the time anyway. And...he needs this.
\n\n\nWill I worry? Maybe I worried a little last night when he decided to go, but then I just handed him over to God. I know He’ll take good care of him. I’ll have a chat with my stepson...I know he’ll take extra special care of his dad, too. I cannot watch him 24/7/365. It’s part of the give and take of marriage. It’s part of me letting go and stop trying to control any possible outcome. It comes from prior loss...I know that. He still needs to have a normal life and he’s really doing much better. So, off he goes fishing with the boys and the girls are having a beach day.
\n\n\nGod, please let him catch a big fish!
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-10-15T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/10/15/day-gone-fishin-with-the.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Travel","Overcoming Obstacles","Fun","Gratitude","Love","Courage","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/09/30/day-adjusting-to-the-new.html", "title": "Day 201: Adjusting to the New Normal", "content_html": "\n“Parents, don't be hard on your children. Raise them properly. Teach them and instruct them about the Lord.”
\nEphesians 6:4 CEV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/04f9f818ee.jpg\")
I’ve had a lot of “new normals” in my life. Two divorces found me as a single parent each time, trying to figure out how I was going to make it on my own. 9/11 left us all trying to wrap our heads around this feeling of no longer being safe. Losing Mr. Virgo left me broken and lost, yet determined to find out who I was in this world. Then the pandemic hit and the state of emergency was called on March 13th and everything changed.
\n\n\nI’ve been posting the “Day Number” in front of every post since 3/13 but didn’t realize I was off by a few days. Yesterday was 200 days of New Normal. It’s been a really trying time for most of us. At least, it has been for me. It all started between Mr. FixIt’s two strokes and I didn’t know what to think. But, just like I knew instinctively that I needed to put something joyful in front of me to survive losing Mr. Virgo, I knew I needed to put something in front of me to get through this crisis as well.
\n\n\nSerendipitously, spring was on its way and there was much to look forward to. After spending three solid weeks glued to the television watching a deadly disease run rampant around the world, Mr. FixIt’s second stroke hit and I was knocked sideways again. That’s when my friend Kate sent me some of her sourdough starter. And I found my “something joyful” to put in front of me to get through this season. I found it in my kitchen.
\n\n\nThere are many seasons in life and not a single one of them is predictable. When we are faced with trying times, we can either choose to bury our heads in the sand and float along the surface as best we can...trying not to drown. Or, we can dive headfirst into the waves and find out what strong swimmers we are. I was never a very strong swimmer...in the water. But in the seas of life? I’m getting to be a boss!
\n\n\nYou will find yourself swimming upstream so many times in your life. It’s not easy to do when there’s all those rocks and rapids and obstacles thrown in your way. The best advice I can give you is...keep paddling. Keep fighting the fight. Keep standing back up. And, every once in a while, sit on the bank and take a breather. Look back downstream and see how far you’ve come.
\n\n\nFind something...anything that’s joyful...and keep paddling towards it, my friends.
\n\n\nWe’ve got this.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-09-30T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/09/30/day-adjusting-to-the-new.html", "tags": ["Comfort","Courage","Choices","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/09/21/day-be-betterdo-better.html", "title": "Day 187: Be Better...Do Better", "content_html": "\n“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”
\nGalatians 6:9 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/bbbef741b5.jpg\")
My mom always told me my mouth would get me in trouble someday and she was so right. There have been times...too many times...that I react and speak instead of take a breath and think. I try limiting my news time. I try staying off of social media more than just a few minutes a day. I try to get out and do something active. I try to end each day with a feeling of accomplishment.
\n\n\nI try.
\n\n\nI don’t always succeed.
\n\n\nToo often I get sucked into the maelstrom that social media has become. I get triggered. I get angry. I get frustrated. I get sad. When those things happen, it’s far too easy to start to respond negatively and that’s when the drag starts...like a weight around my neck, pulling me deeper and deeper into the depths.
\n\n\nThat’s not where the light is. That is not what brings me hope. Finding hope today is sometimes like parenting an obstreperous toddler. No matter how tired we are, we have to find something they’ve done to praise them for so they feel encouraged. In this case, it’s us that needs the encouragement. We need to shift the attention to what we are doing right, thank ourselves for do it, and do more of it.
\n\n\nMy friends and I talk about the Bible and share scriptures. We text them to each other periodically during the day for encouragement. We share bible studies. We send jokes that make us laugh and eases the tensions in our lives. Having a network with whom you can share life with is invaluable. Find your people...through church or a senior center or the library. Meetup is an app that helps you find likeminded individuals with similar interests.
\n\n\nGo through your friends list on Facebook. Pick five people a week to just send a random note to. Not a meme...but a heartfelt message letting them know you were thinking about them and you wanted to reach out to see how they’re doing. Send more goodness out into the world and it’s bound to catch on eventually.
\n\n\nFlood the world with kindness this week.
\n\n\nThink about what you are sharing with the world before you hit “send”.
\n\n\nDon’t contribute to the divisiveness that’s out there. Be part of the solution, not part of the problem.
\n\n\nResearch before you post. Include resources. Make your English teacher proud.
\n\n\nWhen that meme grabs your eye, think twice...three times before you share. Is it kind, is it true, is it necessary?
\n\n\nSend beautiful things out into the world. Do you really think your rant about the “other guy” is going to change anyone’s mind at this point? I can pretty much guarantee this...it may not change their mind about who to vote for, but it’s sure to make them look at you differently. We’re almost to Election Day. We are coming into the home stretch.
\n\n\nLet’s fill the world with a lot less bitterness and a lot more better-ness. Let’s see if we can put out this dumpster fire and create some beauty. Because...
\n\n\nKindness Matters
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n\n“Learn to do right; seek justice. Defend the oppressed. Take up the cause of the fatherless; plead the case of the widow.”
\nIsaiah 1:17 NIV\n
\n\n\n\n“Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.””
\n1 Corinthians 15:33 NIV\n
\n\n\n\n“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.”
\nJames 1:19-20 NIV\n
\n\n\n\n“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.”
\n1 Peter 4:8 NIV\n
\n\n\n\n“The one who has knowledge uses words with restraint, and whoever has understanding is even-tempered. Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent, and discerning if they hold their tongues.”
\nProverbs 17:27-28 NIV\n
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-09-21T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/09/21/day-be-betterdo-better.html", "tags": ["Faith","Hope","Growth","Gratitude","Forgiveness","Courage","Choices","Kindness"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/09/19/day-come-healinga-legend-gone.html", "title": "Day 185: Come Healing...A Legend Gone", "content_html": "\n“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”
\nGalatians 6:9 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/ae8af5df6d.jpg\")
My dearest sister/friend in the whole wide world sent me a link for a song by Leonard Cohen...Come Healing. It starts out rather ethereal, then Leonard’s deep, old-man voice comes in with a jarring duality. The juxtaposition between the two kept me on the surface of the song as I absorbed the intonations of his dusky baritone. Then I listened again. And again. I finally looked up the lyrics and followed along as the song played for the umpteenth time and I got it.
\n\n\nI thought of sharing it with you for “Feel Good Friday”, but something made me wait. Partially because it stirred something within me that didn’t necessarily feel that great. But there was something deeper. Something darker. Something like the feeling you get before a bad storm or a not-so-great visit to the doctor. Something anticipatory that I couldn’t put my finger on. I just knew the time wasn’t right to post it yesterday. Last night, I found out why.
\n\n\nJustice Ruth Bader Ginsburg died.
\n\n\nWe were finishing up shopping at Walmart when my phone pinged with the notification and I cried out, “Noooooo!” Mr. FixIt was ahead of me and he turned with a look of concern. I walked up to him and wordlessly showed him my phone. Such an amazing, strong woman who has fought tirelessly for women’s rights, the Notorious RBG is irreplaceable. They broke the mold when she came along and we are the worse for her loss.
\n\n\nGrief comes in many forms and circumstances. We can grieve over anything that breaks our hearts and what seems inconsequential to some is devastating to others. I read a tweet yesterday where a father revealed their 12-year-old son had died suddenly this week. I scanned a few of the comments. I’m not the social etiquette police, but I do try to find teaching moments when it comes to what not to say to the bereaved. It didn’t take long to see someone flat out ask what happened to his son that he “died suddenly”. I replied “There is a certain decorum expected from humans surrounding the death of a loved one...especially one’s child. The kind thing is to express sincere condolences. This is about them needing support...nothing else.” I seldom make a wave on Twitter, but that response struck a chord with many.
\n\n\nThere’s so much chaos in the world today...so much of it man made. I would like to posit that much of what is being stirred is by the few and not the many. Much is being planted by nefarious players out to divide us because that’s our weakest link. Much is being manipulated by extremists from both ends of the spectrum and they are pitting us against “them” when “them” is in all actuality...”US”.
\n\n\nWe need healing. I don’t know about you, but I crave healing like one craves a hug from a mother long dead. It is so easy to succumb to thinking “It’s just one more thing. 2020 sucks!” Well, as far as years go, 2020 has certainly not been my favorite. But, as I grappled for the words to say today, I thought of the significance this day brings. Ruth Bader Ginsberg was the first Jewish female justice...the longest-serving Jewish justice ever. And she died at the beginning of Rosh Hashanah....the Jewish New Year. Rosh Hashanah is celebrated for two days by eating apples and honey to symbolize the wishes for a sweet New Year. And, it ushers in the Days of Awe...the High Holy Days culminating in the most somber of all Jewish holidays. Yom Kippur. The Day of Atonement. The period of time between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur is to be spent in solemn introspection of one’s personal transgressions...ultimately asking for forgiveness. From those you trespassed against...and from God.
\n\n\nAccording to Jewish tradition, one who dies on Rosh Hashanah is referred to as a Tzaddik...a person of great righteousness. The root of the word sadiq means “justice”.
\n\n\nHow ironic that RBG would leave us on this day of all days. She held out as long as she possibly could but her body just would not carry her any further. My prayer is for comfort for her family in their time of great loss. And for our country as we are once again dealt another blow. And for our healing...our human healing. May we find the spaces between us fill with love.
\n\n\nCome Healing.
\n\n\n?
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-09-19T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/09/19/day-come-healinga-legend-gone.html", "tags": ["Grief","Courage","Aging"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/09/01/day-the-longest-summer-of.html", "title": "Day 167: The Longest Summer of my Life", "content_html": "\n“Heal me, Lord, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for you are the one I praise.”
\nJeremiah 17:14 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/9b5d5efe1e.jpg\")
Remember back when we were kids? School let out in May and it seemed like for-EV-er before it was September and time to go back. Then we grew up and became adults and got jobs and got married (or not) and had kids (or not). Then, summers dragged for an entirely different reason. By late August, we were like... “When does school start??? I’m done already!”
\n\n\nThen...life’s “Third Shift” kicked in. The kids are the ones married (or not) and with kids (or not) and we are left to our own devices. My mom’s generation played Bridge or MahJong if they were fortunate enough to not have to work outside of the home. Our generation plays pickle ball or what have you.
\n\n\nWhatever the case...it’s September. Seriously...March felt like at least a decade ago. I don’t even remember March. Did 2020 even HAVE a March? Or May? How about June and July? I mean...I could accept that it’s July...but September??? Crikey!
\n\n\nI think the total disruption of our routines and all the ensuing chaos has shifted our consciousness somehow and actually created a time warp. I mean...I could just as easily be 1963, if you ask me.
\n\n\nBut, I digress. A Facebook friend asked yesterday if we could say something positive about 2020 so far. I had to think about it...but I came up with several things.
\n\n\nYou may say 2020 sucks big ones, and I suppose it has in many ways. But, 2020 has been a gift in just as many ways. Above all, it has forced me into a closer relationship with Jesus. I’ve gotten to know Him a lot better and recognize His voice in the cacophony of this world. It’s brought me a lot closer to Mr. FixIt, as well. We’ve had to learn a new dance around strokes and staying at home and not doing whatever we want, whenever we want. And, believe it or not, it has brought me closer to our kids because we have more real conversations.
\n\n\n2020 may have brought me to my knees...but that’s not a bad position to be in for prayer.
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/52466eebd0.jpg\")
I literally did nothing but bake a pan of lasagna and take a nap yesterday. It felt SO self-indulgent...and wonderful!!! Then, around the time the news went off, Daughter #1 called me for a video chat. Ohhhhh, my heart sings when I get to see my Colorado peeps. When we prepared to hang up, I smiled and thanked her so much for letting me see her sweet face.
\n\n\n“I cannot hug you in person,” I said. “But, I can hug you with my heart!”
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-09-01T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/09/01/day-the-longest-summer-of.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Overcoming Obstacles","Gratitude","Wisdom","Courage","Aging","Choices","Be Joyful!","Insight"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/08/17/day-crisis-fatiguestepping-away-with.html", "title": "Day 152: Crisis Fatigue...Stepping Away With a Soft Heart", "content_html": "\n“...The Lord watch between me and thee, when we are absent one from another.”
\nGenesis 31:49 KJV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/aaf1d9d439.jpg\")
When is too much WAY too much? Where do you draw the line and say enough is enough? How do you step back when you just can’t do any more?
\n\n\nI eased my world a lot the last couple of weeks when I snoozed, unfollowed, unfriended, and...yes...even blocked a few people on my personal Facebook page. My decision to stop posting, forwarding, and commenting on anything remotely controversial and/or political helped a lot. I’ve even stepped out of a few chat rooms with really wonderful people for no other reason than I just can’t take one more thing right now.
\n\n\nI don’t know about you but I’m facing a very real case of crisis fatigue. When the human body is presented with a crisis situation, it produces cortisol...the hormone responsible for our fight or flight response. That’s really handy if you happen to be camping and a great big bear wanders across your path. The heightened attention and rapid response is meant to save your life. But, this year has been like walking into the International Convention of Pissed Off Grizzly Bears....every...single...day. When that happens, it doesn’t take long for the wheels to come off the bus.
\n\n\nIncreased anxiety. Insomnia. Weight gain. Hypertension. Cushing Syndrome. Relationship distress. Even bone loss. All can occur from prolonged elevated levels of cortisol. Plain and simple...it’s just not good for you.
\n\n\nAccording to an article in WIRED Magazine written by Matt Simon... \"Crisis fatigue manifests itself on two levels. On a societal level, it can tempt people to collectively throw up their hands and give up on civic engagement. 'Why not, if we’re going to hell in a handcart? Let’s just enjoy tomorrow.' Matthew Flinders, founding director of Sir Bernard Crick Centre for the Public Understanding of Politics at the University of Sheffield, told WIRED earlier this week.\"
\n\n\nSince 9/11, we have had multiple episodes of acute crises...wildfires, financial strife, social unrest, politics, Covid, job loss. Basically, the sound of the planes hitting the Twin Towers has echoed through every part of American life for the last twenty years. If there is that much havoc in our lives, isn’t it really a small thing to step back a little from the tiny screens that are occupying so much of our waking moments?
\n\n\nI write every day...I have to. It’s a part of who I am and what I do. But, when I get my screen usage report and it tells me just how much time I am spending on these devices, I realize that isn’t healthy either. I have this one group of girlfriends whom I dearly love. We went to high school together. We are each other’s cheerleaders. We are there for one another as we face the challenges of life. And, as much as I love them, we get chatty in that room and by the end of the day we can easily have fifty or more notifications pinging on our phones.
\n\n\nI know...I cant turn off the notifications, but I suffer from FOMO...fear of missing out. I’m like my grandma in that regard. If the phone rang, she’d break her neck to get to it so she could find out who was calling. It may have been someone she really didn’t care to have a conversation with at the time, but by golly...she wasn’t going to miss out on the possibility it was someone else. So, when the phone “pings”, I have to pick it up. I read. I respond. I set the phone down. Someone else responds. “Ping!” Pick up. Respond. Set down. It’s crazy.
\n\n\nIf I didn’t have anything else going on in my life, it wouldn’t bother me a bit. And, I feel a bit silly...a little guilty perhaps...but I had to step away. I sent them loving messages and said, “It’s not you...it’s me. I can’t right now. I’ll be back someday, but right now? I just can’t.” They get it. They’re feeling it, too. Maybe they don’t know there is a name for it. Maybe they don’t know how to step back...or maybe they don’t need to.
\n\n\nI think the bottom line here is...you can step away with a soft heart. You don’t have to hurt anyone’s feelings or get agitated or up in arms. You can just be honest. It’s all so much. Yes, I could have just turned off the notifications and picked up the phone when I had time. But, I’d still be spending the same amount of time reading the updates and catching up.
\n\n\nIt’s not like the individuals in the group can’t reach me or vise-versa. We are still friends on Facebook. We are still connected and are but a text away should someone want to reach out. Between that, shutting down websites and forwarded sources that I do not want to see, and snoozing several of the more vocal suspects, I felt a collective sigh of relief once I was done.
\n\n\nIt’s ok to step away. When I think of all the things I am apt to miss, it’s decidedly my peace of mind that I miss the most. I’m well on the way to lowering those cortisol levels and promoting some peace in my life. Because here’s what happens when you step away from something. You make space between you. And, you can allow that space to be used for parking the offenses between others and yourself.
\n\n\nBest they sit in that space unattended than to sit in the space between your ears.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-08-17T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/08/17/day-crisis-fatiguestepping-away-with.html", "tags": ["Health","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Comfort","Fear","Courage","Warning","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/08/10/day-steadfast-through-the-storms.html", "title": "Day 145: Steadfast Through the Storms", "content_html": "\n“God's Spirit doesn't make cowards out of us. The Spirit gives us power, love, and self-control.”
\n2 Timothy 1:7 CEV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/fd1978df32.jpg\")
Let’s face it...2020 has been a year of storms. Every single day, we see something incredulous...something unimaginable...something so unbelievable our minds can begin to be numbed by it all. I don’t even need to write out the list, but who in their right mind would have thought up murder hornets and zombie cicadas...let alone all the other stuff?
\n\n\nI was feeling a little overwhelmed by it all this last week. I found peace in my garden and on my walks with Jesus. Then I would look at the news again and it would be another awful thing. Balancing between informed citizen and sensory overload is getting more and more challenging. Then, Mr. FixIt and I sat down to enjoy online church yesterday. Like He always does, the Holy Spirit brought me exactly the sermon I needed to hear.
\n\n\nPastor Heather spoke about weathering the storms of life. We are always guaranteed to have storms and more often than not, they come out of nowhere and we can be caught off guard. She happened to be on vacation last week with her family and there happened to be a hurricane come right through Myrtle Beach. She noticed the palm trees swaying in the fury of the winds, yet they were never uprooted or broken. It reminded her of the first few verses of Psalms.
\n\n\nThose who turn away from evil advice and don’t follow sinners or sneer at God find happiness in the teaching of the Lord, and they think about it day and night. It goes on to say they are like trees planted by a stream where they get their nourishment. This is what I want to be. A sturdy tree planted by the living waters where I can get my peace from the source. God tells us over and over the way to happiness.
\n\n\nWhen I first started writing this blog, I promised God if he would bring me the words, I would tell my readers where I find my peace. It is so terribly easy to be reactionary in this political climate. The other day I wrote a reactionary post that I not only didn’t give much thought to, but I also didn’t research it first. My sweet friend Jackie responded with a gentle correction. I so appreciated that. It didn’t escalate. It just suggested I “listen”. Action versus reaction.
\n\n\nA good lesson for us all.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-08-10T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/08/10/day-steadfast-through-the-storms.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Hope","Positive Energy","Grace","God","Courage","Peaceful Moments"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/07/14/day-the-books-from-beyond.html", "title": "Day 118: The Books from Beyond", "content_html": "\n“God blesses those people who refuse evil advice and won't follow sinners or join in sneering at God. Instead, they find happiness in the Teaching of the Lord, and they think about it day and night. They are like trees growing beside a stream, trees that produce fruit in season and always have leaves. Those people succeed in everything they do.”
\nPsalms 1:1-3 CEV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/ce37dd9db7.jpg\")
I have a mystery. But it has a backstory you need to hear first.
\n\n\nIf you’ve been following me for some time, you know I moved to West Virginia from Colorado to care for my elderly aunt who was living alone on the family farm. We tried it out for ten rather long and, dare I say, miserable weeks for both of us. She was a strong willed, independent woman who expected you to do what she said, when she said it. I’m not the type to take orders well, so when she invited me to leave on Christmas Day, I took myself on a totally different adventure for the following couple of years.
\n\n\nI didn’t realize it at the time, but Aunt Peeps was slipping into the netherworld of dementia which caused her to lose what little bit of a filter she had to begin with. Still, I had wonderful conversations with her over the years. If she liked you, she would do anything to help you achieve your dreams. She admired hard work and perseverance. She was a teacher...erudite and proper.
\n\n\nI remember when I was very young, she came to visit with photographs from Cleveland and Washington, DC. Grainy black and white snapshots depicting water fountains and lunch counters with signs over them that said “Whites Only”. I didn’t understand what that meant and she carefully explained racism to me in words a little girl might comprehend. She was quite adamant...as was my grandma...that we never, ever treat other’s differently. We are all God’s children.
\n\n\nI grew up poor. Not dirt poor. Not welfare poor. But we didn’t have a lot of extras and ate from grandma’s garden quite a bit. I married my high school boyfriend and escaped what I felt at the time was the hell of West Virginia. When that marriage failed, I ended up marrying a young physical therapist who was heading into medical school. As our affluence increased, we rose higher and higher on the white privilege scale. Five years after that marriage ended, I met Mr. Virgo. He had worked his entire career in the hospitality industry at numerous Five Star resorts and restaurants around the world. So I was still in the realm of privilege. I had a housekeeper and a full length blue fox coat and a new car every couple of years.
\n\n\nI don’t believe I’ve ever been overtly racist, but there were many years where I just didn’t really give the struggles of ethnic communities much thought. And that is the essence of what is referred to as white privilege. With the onset of civil unrest over racial disparities, I have taken it upon myself to learn as much as I can on the subject so that I can better understand the plight of People of Color. I want to be a better human.
\n\n\nAfter Aunt Peeps died, my uncle came to the farm to get some of her papers that he needed to settle her estate. These papers were in boxes in the closet upstairs in her bedroom. The next time I was out there, I went upstairs and there were a few items on the bed. There was also a day bed up there with several boxes of my own things. I didn’t notice anything of any import that day.
\n\n\nLast weekend, when I was out there working on the taxes, it was so bloody hot and the air conditioner was not working. I went upstairs to turn the fan on in the bedroom opposite hers. As I was coming back out of the room to the top of the stairs, I glanced into Aunt Peeps’ room and noticed something I hadn’t seen before. There were two books laying neatly stacked on the pillow. I would have sworn they weren’t there before.
\n\n\nI went in and picked up the books and my jaw dropped.
\n\n\n“The Autobiography of Malcom X” by Alex Haley.
\n\n\n“Black Boy” by Richard Wright.
\n\n\nTwo seminal literary works about the black experience in this country. Not at all the kind of books I saw my aunt reading as I grew up or when I lived with her. And certainly not anything I had ever seen there before. Where did they come from? Who placed them so carefully where I would be sure to find them? I have no idea. But I picked them up and smiled, tucked them neatly under my arm, and have set a goal to read them both to better understand.
\n\n\nEver the educator. Ever the fair-minded yet fierce educator. I believe my Aunt Peeps left me a gift...exactly the gift I needed at exactly the right time.
\n\n\nShe teaches...still.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-07-14T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/07/14/day-the-books-from-beyond.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","West Virginia","The Farm","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/07/06/day-ask-not-what-your.html", "title": "Day 110: Ask Not What Your Country Can Do For You...", "content_html": "\n“For God does not show favoritism.”
\nRomans 2:11 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/bd4eda9c8e.jpg\")
I was just a child when President Kennedy uttered those famous words. I am not a strong student of the political climate of the early ‘60s, but I do know the times were changing...much as they are now. But, the big difference is...we are a more divided nation now, I think. Everything seems to be pitting us against one another, driving a wedge between us. But, is it really? Or is that the illusion? Is that what the enemy wants you to believe? And, by the enemy, I am NOT pointing to anyone politically. I am referring to THE enemy...the ULTIMATE enemy.
\n\n\nI’m not sure there is any issue more blatantly representative of this politicization than face masks. For some unknown-to-me reason, there is a huge faction of our populace who think being asked to wear a face mask is akin to denying us our inalienable rights. I don’t know about you and where you stand on the issue. And I’m not bringing this up to start a fight or to invite controversy. I’m just making an observation that there seem to be two camps...those that will wear them and those who refuse, for whatever reason.
\n\n\nThere are plenty of graphics around that show the benefits of wearing a mask and how it can help keep down the spread of Covid-19. If you’ve been following me for any length of time, you may remember I wrote early on that there would come a time in this when people would deny what they saw with their own eyes and would rebel. And it seems we are in the midst of that these last couple of weeks.
\n\n\nWearing a mask is such a simple thing to do. It’s a sign of mutual respect to try to keep others from getting sick. I know, there are a very few who cannot physically wear the masks because of COPD or asthma or some underlying medical issue. But, for the most part, it will not hurt us to wear a mask when we are out and about. We will not die from carbon dioxide poisoning. I know, I know...I’m opening a can of worms here. But I have spent long days wearing masks and I have not dropped dead from it. Neither have the surgeons and anesthesiologists and nurses who wear them for hours at a time, day in and day out.
\n\n\nPeople don’t seem to understand what is coming out of our mouths. I get it. It’s hard to understand the water droplets and how they travel and carry the virus along with them. I’m a visual person, too. I need to see a demonstration or try things out myself. I am a hands on learner. And, when I saw this picture posted yesterday, I knew...this is the teaching tool that might finally make people understand.
\n\n\nWhen we go out in the cold in the winter time, we all are very familiar with what happens to our breath. We exhale a cloud out into the cold air with every breath we breathe out. And that cloud is the water droplets that carry the coronavirus. If you are outside, standing six feet away from each other, the chance of breathing in someone else’s “cloud” is reduced. However, if you are standing in a crowded place indoors with little air filtration, your “cloud” and my “cloud are going to mix with all the other “clouds” within a certain radius.
\n\n\nNow, that’s with just basic breathing. Add alcohol, a crowded bar, loud music and shouting to be heard over it...folks leaning in to catch what you said. You’ve just amped up that little conversational “cloud” into a big, bad storm “cloud”. Or, you’re standing in lines to get into a crowded restaurant. Or, you’re in a crowded shopping situation. This is why the folks going to the beach are spreading the virus faster than those who marched in any of the protests out of doors...because they spent a good amount of time interacting with others in restaurants, bars, and shopping.
\n\n\nThis brings up the subject of singing...including in church. You actually CAN sing with a mask on. And if you can’t, then be sure you are maintaining social distance. And if you can’t, then...either don’t sing, or stay home and watch online. It’s not forever. It’s not permanent. It’s just for now...for a little while longer. And it’s not trying to take away your rights. Do you think Jesus would risk making others sick? I have to think he would be fine with us being our brother’s keeper and...you know...putting others above ourselves.
\n\n\nIf neither of us wear a mask, our risk of infecting others or being infected ourselves is at its highest. If we both stay indoors away from everyone, our risk is at its lowest. Somewhere in between the two is where we have to live in the coming months until either the virus morphs into something less infectious, or there is a trusted vaccine or treatment. The kindest and most recommended place to stand on that spectrum is to accept the minor inconvenience of wearing a mask so we CAN get back to normal faster. Europeans did it, and look at their numbers.
\n\n\nYou wear a seat belt. You put your babies in car seats. You don’t eat food off the floor of a bathroom in a New York subway. You stop at stop signs. Being asked to wear a mask is no more an infringement on your rights than any of these other things. We all have the right to live and our best chance to do that is to be careful as best we can. If you don’t have a mask, let me know...I’ll make sure you get one.
\n\n\nSo, that’s my soapbox for the day. I know all the arguments. I think I’ve heard every one of them...many times. This is just me, asking you to be careful and stay healthy so that we ALL can be free after they get a handle on this. ‘Cause...I love y’all!
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-07-06T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/07/06/day-ask-not-what-your.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Courage","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/06/28/day-duty-a-dip-and.html", "title": "Day 103: Duty, a Dip, and Date Night", "content_html": "\n“Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”
\nPhilippians 2:4 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/608b9ee9ad.jpg\")
After my morning coffee, Mr. FixIt was on the phone when I walked by, blew him a kiss, and went out to mow. It was pretty hot out there, but I have learned how to mow with one hand and hold a huge golf umbrella with the other. I have to wear a mask because of all the allergens that get stirred up, so it’s kind of stuffy and sticky out there. I’ve figured out how to hold the umbrella just right to catch any hint of a breeze which makes the chore so much easier.
\n\n\nI was just about finished with the two big fields when I saw my sweetheart come out and start with the push mower. He mowed around the areas I couldn’t reach with the big riding mower. Then he got the weed eater out and trimmed around the yard as I took up the push mower inside the fenced yard. I kept one eye on my work and the other to make sure Mr. FixIt didn’t overdo in the heat, but he did great. It was a good day.
\n\n\nHe feels bad when he can’t do everything he did before, but he is gaining his strength and the confidence that comes with realizing he’s improving. I was talking with my cousin the other day. She asked how I was holding up. I told her I was doing great. I’m keeping really busy and that occupies my mind so it doesn’t go places it doesn’t need to go. Listen, I’d be lying if I said none of this has affected me. I would surely have loved having fifteen years of the fun stuff before we have to deal with the not so fun stuff of health issues. But, that’s not what happens in real life. Not when you marry at our age. The truth is, it doesn’t make a bit of difference if we were married a week or a year or two decades...you do what you need to do when circumstances change. It’s in the vows we took that day in our field...”to have and to hold, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, till death I do part.” It is our sworn duty.
\n\n\nMy duty is to do the things Mr. FixIt can’t right now. Just as he would do if the roles were reversed. One can whine about it. Or one can put on the big girl panties and get the job done. It’s a choice. I always choose joy and love. I mowed, watered the garden, and tied up the tomato plants. Easy peasy.
\n\n\nWhen we were finished with the hot and dusty work in the yard, we took a refreshing dip in the pool. It’s times like that when I can totally justify the extra work and expense the pool entails. We cleaned and skimmed and walked around while we talked and enjoyed a perfectly beautiful evening. I swam up to my man and said,
\n\n\n“Hey...how would you like to buy me dinner?”
\n\n\nHe lit up like a Christmas tree. We decided on Italian, placed our order, then drove to town. As we were picking up our food, the leaden skies opened up into a downpour. We drove across the river and found a lovely parking spot where we could watch the boat traffic. We had our picnic in the rain...inside the truck. It seems to do that every date night, but it doesn’t dampen our enthusiasm.
\n\n\nWe got home just before dark and walked around a bit, checking out the garden and the fruit trees. We don’t have a single pear this year. There were late frosts this spring and that took care of any hopes of a bountiful harvest like last year. We have onions and zucchini and crook neck squash setting on and several tomatoes are showing. There are teeny, tiny peppers starting to grow and the pumpkin plants are vining. I love watching a garden grow and this year I’m actually going to be here to enjoy it.
\n\n\nWe came in and I fed my sourdough starter in preparation for baking today. As I was settling in to write this, I thought...”How many times and how many ways can I tell them I’m mowing and baking bread?” Spoiler alert: Many, many times!
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-06-28T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/06/28/day-duty-a-dip-and.html", "tags": ["Family","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","West Virginia","Love","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/06/17/day-kindness-matters.html", "title": "Day 92: Kindness Matters", "content_html": "\n““But ask the animals, and they will teach you, or the birds in the sky, and they will tell you; or speak to the earth, and it will teach you, or let the fish in the sea inform you. Which of all these does not know that the hand of the Lord has done this? In his hand is the life of every creature and the breath of all mankind. Does not the ear test words as the tongue tastes food? Is not wisdom found among the aged? Does not long life bring understanding?”
\nJob 12:7-12 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/0d1b9bbf2d.jpg\")
My heart has taken such a beating in the last few weeks. Covid, killings, riots, politics, strokes...hokey smokes, it’s been crazy. Then, I go on Facebook to see the kids’ pictures and the violence is escalating. I went through my feed yesterday like a woman with her hair on fire. I’ve always been one to try to see both sides. And I find myself failing at that. I find myself sassing back and that is not the person I want to be. It is not the person God intended for me to be. So I went through my feed and if it stirred anger in me, I blocked posts from that site. That way, it won’t show up on my feed anymore when one of my friends share it on theirs. There were a few that I have tolerated unkind and flat out mean behaviors from and I just gave up and hit “Snooze for 30 Days”. I can’t do it. I won’t do it.
\n\n\nKindness matters. The kindest thing I could do...for them or myself...was to back away. Let them rant on their own pages. Maybe they’ll still be there after 30 days. Maybe they won’t. Maybe the 30 days will pass and I’ll find I didn’t miss that particular contact in my life. You know, just because you were friends fifty or sixty years ago in school doesn’t mean you grew up to have the same ideals, the same values, the same goals. I love my friends, don’t get me wrong. But there are sometimes very good reasons you didn’t stay in touch all those years beyond the lack of social media.
\n\n\nI’ve reconnected with people from my past that wouldn’t give me the time of day in high school. We ran in different circles. We lived under different economic circumstances. Maybe they were really shy and I just thought they were stuck up. For whatever reason, there are some that I have become extraordinarily close to. And, on the opposite end of the spectrum, there are those I truly loved and when I met them as adults, they weren’t the kind, loving people I thought they were. Life is hard. It wears us down. I don’t know what traumas went on in people’s lives between then and now. I just know when something isn’t healthy and, all sentimentality aside, I don’t need that in my life. No one does.
\n\n\nThe number of friends I have on social media is not the metage of my worth. Granted, I wasn’t the most popular girl in school so when Facebook first came out, I was pretty jazzed to find myself with so many “friends”. But, as my late Aunt Peeps said, I was talking to my “pretend friends” much of the time. There are different categories of friends and some are really nothing more than acquaintances. It’s ok to thin the herd a little when it is hurting you.
\n\n\nIf it were not for this blog, I would probably have backed away from Facebook years ago. But now I have skin in the game. Now I have a calling from God to share my stories and life experiences because somewhere out there, others are going through tough things too and it helps a lot to know you aren’t alone. That someone out there “gets you”. I share what God presses on my heart. Sometimes he’s quiet and all I have to talk about is baking bread or a story from these West Virginia hills of my youth. Other times, like now...he tells me to speak about kindness.
\n\n\nIt is SO incredibly easy to see all this chaos and think the world is all bad and it just isn’t. The media isn’t falling all over themselves to show you all the kind things. They’re out there...the kind people. And, if you can’t find one...
\n\n\nthen BE one.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n\n“Whoever despises his neighbor is a sinner, but blessed is he who is generous to the poor.”
\nProverbs 14:21 ESV\n
#Kindness, #Generosity, #Love
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-06-17T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/06/17/day-kindness-matters.html", "tags": ["Hope","Gratitude","Love","Forgiveness","Courage","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/06/05/day-in-the-midst-of.html", "title": "Day 81: In the Midst of Darkness, There is Light", "content_html": "\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/83564df96e.jpg\")
\n\n\n\n“Look for the helpers.”
\n- Mr. Rogers’ mother\n
Our day was busy from beginning to end yesterday. We had an appointment in town early, then we drove out to the farm. I thought my sandals were out there under the bed but no such luck. I think they’re still packed away with my camping stuff. I’ll have to look in the building. We stopped at a roadside stand and picked up a few more tomato plants that we’ll put in today. We went to the open air produce market in town and picked up a few things...fresh strawberries just picked from over in Ohio, a wonderful cantaloupe, some fresh corn on the cob. Then PT and home.
\n\n\nAfter supper, I made some homemade shortcakes and served them with the strawberries over top. No whipped cream...we are trying to cut down on the fats. They were still warm from the oven when I served them with the slightly sweetened and sliced berries and it was divine!
\n\n\nWe sat down to watch the news. I told myself to look for the light...find the helpers. And there they were. People cleaning up. People loving on each other and supporting each other during the memorial for George Floyd. Police and protesters walking together, taking a knee together, crying together. Change is coming...but so is healing. It’s going to take some time but there are young people out there who are picking up the baton now. People who are willing and able to stand up for justice and to orchestrate true change. I hope to see it in my lifetime.
\n\n\nWhile we were at the farm, I did what I always do. I walked around and took pictures of the flowers that are in bloom. One of the most beautiful was a large Mock Orange on the hillside along the driveway. Some of Grandma’s most treasured flowers can be found within view of her kitchen window. I often wondered why all the cutting and slips and transplants went in one general area. Now I understand. She spent a lot of time in that kitchen. Her farm was the Taj Mahal to her. Planting flowers on the hillside outside her kitchen window was her equivalent to painting a still life. They gave her great joy and peace...just like they give me.
\n\n\nThe Mock Orange is huge and absolutely covered with white blossoms. The air is redolent with their heady sweetness. The bees love it. There is a man a half mile down the road that has at least thirty hives. I am thrilled to see honey bees, especially when we hear so much about them dying off. The front yard at the farm is thick with white clover. When I mow, I watch for the bees and wait till they fly away rather than run over them. Each one is a precious gift!
\n\n\nFinding light in these dark times is often like those 3-D optical illusion puzzles that you have to stare at till your eyes focus differently and an image pops out at you. You can be blinded by the shock of it all...and well you should be when it’s happening. But there comes a point in the fracas that you can shift your focus a little and that’s when you see the light.
\n\n\nI’ve read so many stories and posts and comments the last week...some on my own personal Facebook page. Some have commented...there’s more than just the one issue going on. It’s more than just the one person who was killed. What about this or that? It reminded me of the parable Jesus told in Luke 15. There were a hundred sheep being tended in a flock when one went missing. The shepherd left the ninety-nine alone to go find the one. Someone looking on might think he was crazy or reckless. “Here, here...what about these ninety-nine? Don’t they count???”
\n\n\nOf course they do, but they weren’t the ones in trouble.
\n\n\nIt was the one.
\n\n\nThat’s why we are helping the one in trouble right now.
\n\n\nIt’s what Jesus does.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-06-05T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/06/05/day-in-the-midst-of.html", "tags": ["Courage","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/06/04/day-reaching-a-tipping-point.html", "title": "Day 80: Reaching a Tipping Point", "content_html": "\n“Then Jesus told them this parable: “Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn’t he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it?
\nand goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.’ I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.”
\nLuke 15:3-4, 6-7 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/cbc37db566.jpg\")
With any birth comes pain. As the birth becomes imminent, the pain is more pronounced. The contractions come closer and closer till you can hardly get a breath in between them. We are reaching a tipping point and something has to change. Something has to be born into the world. In the real life scenario that is playing out in front of us, we have to remember...we DO have some choices we can make. We still may not get the outcome we hope for, but we can try. We can educate ourselves. We can exercise our right to vote. We can do more listening and less yelling. We can stand up in support of those who are marginalized by society.
\n\n\nIt isn’t always easy. Last night, Mr. FixIt asked the same question he asks every night. “Do you want to watch the news?” I said no. Then I said I’d better...I need to know. But I got halfway through and my stomach was churning. I turned to my beloved and said, “I cannot take any more of this right now. I have to take a break from it all.
\n\n\nThey say the way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time. This is one big elephant. Stroke #1. Covid isolation. Stroke #2. Then the world imploded. It’s overwhelming. Yes, I made a strong statement yesterday about becoming “anti-racist” and educating myself. I’m doing that. AND, I’m practicing a little self-care along the way.
\n\n\nI delivered a jar of sourdough starter to my friend Stacie yesterday. She is the one who gave us the jar of Redbud Jelly. Now she can make Sourdough English Muffins, too! When we got home, we were lazy all afternoon. We ate a big salad for supper with tofu on top for protein. Then we jumped in the pool and swept it really well to get the sediment and algae mixed up and filtered out.
\n\n\nWe had a huge thunderstorm roll through at about 8:00 with intermittent rain predicted overnight. We went out just before dark as the lightning was getting ever closer and hauled the generator up to the house in case we lose electric overnight. I moved us back into the house from the camper. It was just too hot to sleep out there without the air conditioner and that won’t happen till we get the power pole installed. Lots of things taking the back burner right now, but they’ll get done.
\n\n\nOne bite at a time.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-06-04T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/06/04/day-reaching-a-tipping-point.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/05/23/day-call-lowesim-building-an.html", "title": "Day 68: Call Lowe’s...I’m Building an Ark!", "content_html": "\n“Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.””
\nMatthew 19:26 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/5955825325.jpg\")
Hokey Smokes! It has rained 20 inches so far this year in our neck of the woods. We waited all day yesterday to get enough warm sunshine to dry out the yard so we could mow one more time before my step-son comes to get his riding mower today. Mr. FixIt had physical therapy and we needed to find a couple things for the old tractor to work on it today. By the time we got back home, the skies opened up again and we were back to square one.
\n\n\nHopefully today is a nice day and we can mow and be good for another week, at least. I mean...on the one hand, when it rains you don’t have to mow. But, on the other...the grass grows like crazy with all that wonderful moisture. It’s a Catch-22. We also need to take the push mower out to the farm and mow out there. And this time, Mr. FixIt can’t help. I’m definitely going to get back in shape with all this exercise!
\n\n\nI hate that I’m not spending as much time in the kitchen as I was. It’s so soothing to me to create good things that nourish my family...and our wounded spirits. We have nowhere to go this weekend...our people are coming to us to help with mowing and welding and fixing things that need fixing. I can spend some time in the kitchen and bake them some treats to take home. That will soothe my heart and bring me peace.
\n\n\nI’ve been thinking about my Aunt Peeps a lot this week. While she was a sophisticated woman with impeccable taste in fashion, she was a country girl at heart. She once told me, her main goal in life was to get a teaching degree and use it to make enough money to buy a farm in West Virginia. I don’t recall seeing her can and preserve food, but she was quite the cook. She didn’t quilt or sew, but she could work sunup to sundown with any man and give him a run for his money. She was an enigma. Tight as a drum with money, yet incredibly generous when she saw you were trying to improve yourself through education. She was your cheerleader if you were a hard worker. She deeply appreciated a good work ethic and had no patience for someone who she felt was lazy or “working the system.”
\n\n\nShe and I didn’t always see eye to eye about things, and I talked WAY too much for her tastes, but...we had one thing in common and that was the love we felt for Grandma’s farm. She was born in Pekin, Illinois along with two of her siblings. Grandma and Pop-Pop were living there during the Depression where work was to be found. When they finally came back home, there were already four children. Two were born after they moved back to West Virginia. The Farm was where they grew up. It’s where I grew up, too.
\n\n\nMy Uncle Bud came home to the farm last weekend to pick up some things that belonged to Aunt Peeps. He needed to find a picture of her for her obituary. I didn’t get to see him because that was the day Mr. FixIt came home from the hospital. I spoke with him this week and he was so pleased with how well we are caring for the family home. He said he was worried it would begin falling apart without someone living there full time, but I told him we go there often enough to breath life into the old place.
\n\n\nThere are some things that are failing...like the big barn and the old tool shed. They are starting to lean and there’s termite damage. But overall, the place looks great for being nearly a hundred years old. I still yearn to go there often to just rock on the front porch and listen to the birds and the wind in the trees. Everything is aging...the old home place, the tractor, the Ponderosa...and us.
\n\n\nThese are the things that went through my mind as I sat pretending to read while I watched my sweet husband having physical therapy. We’ve known each other since we were kids. But we’ve only been together a little over three years. We’ve both changed a lot in those three years. This marriage isn’t like the marriage of my youth...where time stretched before us like an endless summer vacation. This is the marriage where we get to wrap each other up in warm, comfy love and ride the long wave home. There’s no fooling ourselves. Oh, we aren’t at death’s door....but it is Autumn now. And, there is much comfort knowing I’ll be going through this with my best friend at my side.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-05-23T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/05/23/day-call-lowesim-building-an.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Overcoming Obstacles","West Virginia","Comfort","Love","Wisdom","Courage","Aging","Choices","Change","Farm Life","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/05/21/day-every-day-is-groundhog.html", "title": "Day 66: Every Day is Groundhog Day", "content_html": "\n“In all things I have shown you that by working hard in this way we must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’”
\nActs 20:35 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/2b6f5edc8e.jpg\")
Did you see that movie...Groundhog Day? I don’t think I ever did, but I know the premise. Each day repeats itself over and over and over. Sound familiar? There is nothing good about having a stroke. Nothing. But...it has added a new dimension of things to do in a day. Some things you never thought about doing. Others are just added tasks and stops and appointments.
\n\n\nYesterday, we were coming back home from town. Mr. FixIt had his first Physical Therapy appointment and it went well. We ran some errands in town and as we got to the turnoff for our road, he reminded me to check the mail. I insisted we already did that on our way into town. He insisted we hadn’t. He was right. I was remembering the day before.
\n\n\nEach day runs into the next and starts over again. We need a vacation from what seems like an interminable working vacation. Lots of things have changed. By this time of year, we usually have two beach trips under our belts and planning the third. Not this year. Something kept us home in the winter. If we hadn’t been nudged to stay home, we would have been in Florida when Mr. FixIt had his first stroke. Then covid hit and we’ve been stuck. Now...stroke #2.
\n\n\nI know going to the beach would do my sweetheart a world of good, but right now we need to figure out what’s causing these strokes so we can nip it in the bud and get on with our fun plans. In the meantime, I have another batch of sourdough bread rising. I’m preparing a batch of yoghurt. And I have blueberries to attend to. Maybe another pie?
\n\n\nI’m looking at this as another opportunity to depend on God for my needs. All this fun stuff in the kitchen hones my skills, brings good and bountiful food to our larder, and feeds my country heart. It forces me to take a breath, remember what’s important, stop stressing over things in which I have no control. When I reach into the bowl to knead dough wrought from my hands, I say a simple, “Hello, Jesus...let’s spend some time together today while we work this bread.”
\n\n\nWhen I get close and personal with Jesus, He reminds me to be patient with my sweetheart. Yes, this affects me...but it’s HIS body that isn’t acting like it’s supposed to and that has to be scary. Jesus reminds me I’m not in control here. He tells me not to worry...He has this under control. He encourages me to lean into Him when I’m frightened and He’ll carry me through it all. Just knead this dough right now. This is all you need to concern yourself with in this moment.
\n\n\nThis one moment.
\n\n\nThere will always be...something. Something that dares to steal your focus. That threatens to take what’s yours. That shakes you to your core and turns your world upside down. When it’s happening to you, it’s easy to think you’re the only one in the world feeling this. But there are countless others feeling these feelings right now. ESPECIALLY now. The thing I have learned from all of these experiences is this...you can steal everything I have. But, you cannot take my joy...my love...and my faith.
\n\n\nThese things are forever mine...a gift from a gracious Father.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-05-21T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/05/21/day-every-day-is-groundhog.html", "tags": ["Faith","Grace","Courage","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/05/19/day-what-a-wonderful-world.html", "title": "Day 64: What a Wonderful World", "content_html": "\n“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.”
\nJames 1:17 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/ba6dfb6055.jpg\")
Yeah...that’s not something you’re liable to hear or feel these days, is it? There’s a lot to take in. Lots going on...outside and inside. Add “your husband’s had another stroke” to an already formidable situation and it’s enough to break you. I’ve vacillated the last 48 hours between numbness and fear to acceptance and peace. Back and forth. Back and forth. It’s like that game we played when we were kids. What was it called? Crack the Whip! The kid on the end usually got creamed. That was me.
\n\n\nYesterday kept me busy...one of the granddaughters came over and helped me mow. It was wonderful to not have to do it all myself. Mr. FixIt was really good and didn’t over exert himself which was a great relief. He started using one of our hiking sticks to keep his balance when he walks over uneven ground and that helped a lot. I mean...a hiking stick is cool, right? We went to the Tractor Store and got parts for the old tractor. And, we watched the finale of The Voice.
\n\n\nThunderstorm Artis...an up and coming musician in the Final Five, finished the night singing “What a Wonderful World”. I love that song. I needed to hear that tangible reminder of the beauty this world can still deliver on a daily basis. I have been practicing centering myself. One of my readers keeps reminding me of the number one. We can all do just ONE thing. ONE breath. ONE moment. ONE day. By the end of the evening, I was feeling much less overwhelmed by it all.
\n\n\nWe have no control beyond this one moment in time. I can talk, make phone calls, write letters, and vote. But I have no control over who carries an AR-15 into a courthouse or who else wears a mask or when a stroke will happen. What I do have control over is how I respond.
\n\n\nMr. FixIt came into the room last night as I was writing and I had the window wide open. I also had the air conditioner going. I didn’t think about it. I just wanted the window open. In his best dad voice, he said, “Why do you have the window open with the air conditioner running?”
\n\n\nMy reactionary response wasn’t pretty. It was just one more thing I didn’t have control over and it pushed me over the edge for a minute. Then I remembered...ONE.
\n\n\nI can close the window for ONE hour till the evening cools down.
\n\n\nI can sit there for ONE minute and think about how different today could have easily been.
\n\n\nOne of the worst things people can say to the newly bereaved is “at least.....”. “At least he’s in a better place.” “At least she isn’t suffering anymore.” “At least you can have more children.” But, here’s the thing...it’s one of the worst things you can tell yourself, too. Because it’s so dismissive.
\n\n\n“At least we don’t have it as bad as some people.”
\n\n\nThat minimizes your pain and hampers your processing. It’s self-shaming for having feelings.
\n\n\nI hate like HELL that my sweetheart, who I just found like...five minutes ago...had another stroke. I hate that he’s having to go through this
\n\n\nI hate that we can’t feel free to do what we want.
\n\n\nI KNOW we don’t have it as bad as some people. But we have THIS. And this ONE minute, I’m sitting with it.
\n\n\nIt’s ok to feel your feelings.
\n\n\nToday is a new day. Today we pick things up and we are strong together and we are confident in our love. We have faith in a God that uses all things to prosper us. I will rest and trust in that promise.
\n\n\nAnd...I’ll wait to open the windows wide till AFTER he goes to sleep. However, I WILL make sure the air conditioner isn’t running.
\n\n\nThis really is a wonderful world.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n\n“What a wildly wonderful world, GOD! You made it all, with Wisdom at your side, made earth overflow with your wonderful creations.....”
\nPsalm 104:24 MSG\n
#Wonderful, #World, #Gratitude
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-05-19T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/05/19/day-what-a-wonderful-world.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Courage","Aging","Choices","Change","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/05/08/day-its-feel-good-fridaytime.html", "title": "Day 53: It’s Feel Good Friday...Time to Graduate!", "content_html": "\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/c160ff5e27.jpg\")
Yes, it’s Friday again. Whether you feel like it’s only been a couple of days since last Friday, or this week has been 53 days long...it’s that time of the week where we look on the bright side if we can. Hopefully there has been at least one good and positive thing happen to you this week.
\n\n\nFor me, it was video-chatting with family, getting my hands in flour in the kitchen, having one near-normal day where I ran errands, and last night my bonus son-in-law brought his youngest out to the Ponderosa to hit softballs while Grandpa and I watched from the sidelines. Oh, and I have a batch of sourdough in the fridge that’s been rising slowly overnight so I’m going to try my hand at baking bread today.
\n\n\nAs I watched our granddaughter hitting softballs way out into the field last night, I thought of her older sister. We were all supposed to go to WVU next weekend to see her graduate. There are kids all over the country in the same boat. Their hopes and dreams of a fun-filled last few months of their senior years were dashed by the pandemic. No proms. No big graduation. No after-graduation parties. No hugs from all the proud family members. Not much is the same these days and there is a lot of disappointment all around.
\n\n\nThere is ONE thing we can do for our graduates. We can still give them bits of sage advice to help them along life’s pathway. Something to enlighten, encourage, inspire them as they take this next step in an uncertain world...an uncertain time.
\n\n\nWhat is your best piece of advice to someone who was supposed to graduate this week? Let’s send them off with some profound bits of knowledge and encouragement, shall we?
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-05-08T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/05/08/day-its-feel-good-fridaytime.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Courage","Choices","Change","Feel Good Friday"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/04/25/day-coping-during-corona-through.html", "title": "Day 40: Coping During Corona Through Mental Health Services", "content_html": "\n“May he grant you your heart’s desire and fulfill all your plans!”
\nPsalm 20:4 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/e664440d88.jpg\")
By now you all know I am no stranger to psychotherapy. And, I have zero interest in hiding the fact that I coped with a serious seven year bout of clinical depression. There were so many intrinsic factors, most of which I don’t go into great detail about merely to protect the privacy of others. Suffice it to say, it was a perfect storm and it wasn’t pretty. It was hard and difficult to work through. I am so grateful that once I found the right therapist for me, the work became easier and affected permanent change.
\n\n\nThat isn’t to say I never needed to see a therapist again. I returned to grief counseling nine months after Mr. Virgo died. I needed EMDR therapy for the PTSD caused by witnessing what my husband went through from the moment he began to have symptoms in a RV dealership parking lot to the prolonged CPR in the ER to the doctor coming out from the cardiac cath lab to say they did everything they could. I saw the grief therapist for about six months before I sold my house and left Colorado.
\n\n\nI would say I’ve had two...maybe three visits with her since 2014...either in person or over the phone. There is nothing shameful about seeking the help of a mental health professional. It is not a sign of weakness. If anything, it shows remarkable courage to face your inner demons and get some help dealing with whatever it is bothering you. My faith has been the raft that carries me over the waves. My therapy has been the wind God sent to move me forward.
\n\n\nIn the aftermath of coronavirus, we are going to see an epidemic of mental health issues. All of those on the frontline of this pandemic are going to be deeply affected by it...just as the soldiers of any war. The long hours, the many deaths, the fear of contaminating family members...these are all things that will have to be worked through. There will be issues in every aspect of life...from the elderly in nursing homes all the way down to the littles who don’t understand why they can’t see their friends and their mommy cries.
\n\n\nI read an excellent article last night that talked about mental health services in the time of Corona and how you can reach out and get help even when you are self-isolating. There are numbers and websites and apps that can help connect you with a counselor to help walk you through this.
\n\n\nIt’s ok if you need help. It’s ok if you can’t take it right now. It’s ok if you need to talk to someone with an empathetic and knowledgeable ear. You are not weak. You are not a failure.
\n\n\nYou are not alone.
\n\n\nYou can read the article HERE.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-04-25T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/04/25/day-coping-during-corona-through.html", "tags": ["Faith","Health","Growth","Comfort","Fear","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/04/22/day-easy-does-itstay-home.html", "title": "Day 37: Easy Does It...Stay Home!", "content_html": "\n“The waters closed in over me to take my life; the deep surrounded me; weeds were wrapped about my head at the roots of the mountains. I went down to the land whose bars closed upon me forever; yet you brought up my life from the pit, O Lord my God. When my life was fainting away, I remembered the Lord, and my prayer came to you, into your holy temple.”
\nJonah 2:5-7 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/f36f414d4c.jpg\")
We have really been sticking close to home...a huge change for us. We usually make several trips to town every week but we are limiting it to no more than one. Of course, that means it’s a longer trip so we can do everything that needs doing. It’s mundane stuff...kitty litter, bird seed, prescriptions, post office, and the pool store to get chemicals during their yearly sale.
\n\n\nI was pleased to see you can have your prescriptions delivered to your car at Walmart. There were a couple of designated spots with a sign giving a number to call and let them know you’re there. It took about 10 minutes and we didn’t have to go inside. Same at the pool store. They came out to the truck and asked what we needed, went in and had it in the back of the truck in less than five minutes. The post office box is in the lobby and there were two people there...a man who held the door for me and a post office employees sanitizing everything. In and out in less than 60 seconds.
\n\n\nThe only really trip inside was to Rural King. One set of doors for entering, the other to exit. They had an employee at each door. When one left another could enter. Since there were two of us, we had to wait for the second person to leave. We made a bee line to the back, waited in line for five minutes...six feet apart and with masks. Our reward for the day was walking a mile in the park. We ran into one of our classmates halfway through and he continued with us at the required distance. It was nice to see a friendly face.
\n\n\nToday is the 50th Anniversary of Earth Day! Our garden is tilled. The tomatoes are loving the big window in the family room and have grown to double their size in two weeks. They are putting out blossoms and in order for them to set, I need to pollinate them with a Q-Tip since we don’t have bees inside. Only one blossom has opened. More will open today so I can touch the stamens from one to another with the Q-Tip to pollinate the flowers so they produce fruit.
\n\n\nEvery time I go to the store, I pick up a couple of cases of canning jars. I used to have a couple hundred of them back in the day, but that was one of the things that went by the wayside when I downsized six years ago. Rural King had an excellent assortment and related canning supplies at affordable prices. I’m really looking forward to gardening this year. In a few weeks, I can get my flowers for the pots on the patio. Usually I’m gone so much of the summer, I don’t get to do any of that stuff but this is shaping up to be a stay-at-home year, I’m afraid.
\n\n\nI know you are watching the Covid coverage, as we all are. There are so many schools of thought surrounding opening back up. I know I’m coming from a fairly comfortable position not having to get back to work. I know people are struggling financially. But I am erring on the side of caution. I don’t have anyplace to go in a hurry and I certainly have plenty to do here. I’m not going anywhere. I’m going to continue to isolate and take every precaution I can. I pray there isn’t a second wave, but if history serves and the Influenza Pandemic of 1918 is any indication...there will be. Many, many more died in the second wave. I really feel we have to move forward with caution...but that’s just my medical background talking and the advice of advanced epidemiologists.
\n\n\nIn the meantime, I plan my garden...I stock up on canning supplies...I clean and organize...and the electrical designer comes out today to give us her recommendations for “Camp Marshmallow”! It will be cool and rainy today...a perfect day to bake an apple pie and put a pork roast in the oven for supper.
\n\n\nEasy does it!
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-04-22T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/04/22/day-easy-does-itstay-home.html", "tags": ["Family","Hope","Growth","Courage","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/04/21/day-we-will-be-changed.html", "title": "Day 36: We Will Be Changed", "content_html": "\n“As for the rich in this present age, charge them not to be haughty, nor to set their hopes on the uncertainty of riches, but on God, who richly provides us with everything to enjoy.”
\n1 Timothy 6:17 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/6b8baf1c0a.jpg\")
I have to admit, I wasn’t doing so great on Sunday. I had what I used to call a “pity party” in my self-denigration days. Now I know I was having a healthy release of pent up emotions that was perfectly understandable and acceptable. I allow that in these richer, riper years. I wish I could have been easier on myself when I was younger but better late than never, right?
\n\n\nYesterday was so much better. I slept well and allowed myself a little extra time to wake up and stretch while I enjoyed the morning sunshine through the bedroom window. When I was ready, I padded into the family room to kiss Mr. FixIt on top of his head and went to make coffee. I would have loved to sit on the deck by the pool under the new pergola we built, but it was still a bit too chilly. Instead, I took my coffee into the office to do a little writing.
\n\n\nI was just getting into my groove when my phone jingled and it was Daughter #1 calling for a video chat. My heart soared! I moved my chair over to the window, grabbed my coffee, and sat back to share every bit of love I could during her thirty minute break. We had such a lovely visit. Big came out of her bedroom to give me her sweetest smile. Little was busy doing whatever almost-thirteen-year-olds do during a pandemic. It was such an incredible treat to see my girls.
\n\n\nWhile I was busy writing, Mr. FixIt was out tilling the garden. He came when he was finished and invited me out to sit in the sun with him for awhile. The cat jumped in my lap and snoozed for a little while. The red-winged blackbirds and the blue jays were putting up a fuss over the feeder. We haven’t seen any hummingbirds yet but the food is out.
\n\n\nI sat there, soaking up the sun and feeling the freedom a slower pace brings. I watched my husband as he started skimming leaves out of the bottom of the pool with the long-handled net. The water dripping onto the wooden boards of the deck and I smiled to see the water seal he put on last summer was doing its job.
\n\n\nThe light is getting stronger every day as we get deeper into spring. I marveled at the beads of water on the deck. For some reason, they reminded me of our brave frontline workers in this health crisis. Their resistance to defeat makes them stand up...shining in the sun. I don’t know about you but I will never, ever look at a healthcare worker the same again. Their dedication and perseverance is awe inspiring.
\n\n\nI think we’ll end up staying where we are for the time being instead of building in town. We’ll wait for the economy to rebound before we venture into something that big. That means I can ease back a little on the timeline of the home projects and rearrange some priorities. We missed out on our trip to the beach. And camping isn’t looking too promising right now. So, I asked Mr. FixIt to get a power pole installed in our field so I can plug in at least two campers. That way, when restrictions ease up some, I can host some of my camping friends in my own little private campground here on The Ponderosa.
\n\n\nIt’s ok to have sad times. And, it’s ok to pull yourself up by the bootstraps and change your dreams. I’m really looking forward to getting the camper cleaned up and “go on vacation”...right in our own backyard.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-04-21T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/04/21/day-we-will-be-changed.html", "tags": ["Courage","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/04/19/day-we-are-in-the.html", "title": "Day 34: We Are in the Same Storm...NOT the Same Boat", "content_html": "\n“Behold! I tell you a mystery. We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed,”
\n1 Corinthians 15:51 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/dc4fde4685.jpg\")
Let me preface this by stating this is not an original thought. I mean, really...IS there such a thing anymore? No, I read something yesterday on Facebook that someone forwarded. It was attributed to an “Unknown Author” so, who knows? If you wrote it or know for certain who did, let me know so I can give credit where credit is due.
\n\n\nThe premise of the post was the pandemic and where we factor in it. I’m sure we all have read “We are in the same boat!” That couldn’t be further from the truth. “We’ll get through this together!” Oh, that I truly pray for. But in the same boat? Nope. We’re in the same storm. And even that is somewhat different. The storm in Washington state and Florida and New York and Texas and New Orleans is far different than Montana and Wyoming and North Dakota and even here in West Virginia.
\n\n\nThe only thing that is absolute is, we are facing the same enemy...Covid-19. That’s the storm we are collectively facing. For some, it’s hardly a blip on the radar screen. For others, it’s a Class V Hurricane. To say we are all in the same boat is totally inaccurate. We are all in our own boats...sailing along as best we can with what’s being thrown our way. It’s a crapshoot where the dice will land when they're tossed our way.
\n\n\nSome of us are riding this wave with life vests out the wazoo. Money in the bank, food in the larder, a mortgage free home. It’s pretty much business as usual with a little more time at home than we’re used to. Maybe we don’t get the choicest cut of meat or they were out of our favorite wine. Maybe our biggest challenge is getting oh so bored with the menu at Chez Home Kitchen or we’ve gone through our DVR’s backlog of “must see” shows we always wanted to catch up on.
\n\n\nOthers have always been a paycheck away from hunger or homelessness. We’ve got parents teaching their children through online learning on top of working their own 10-12 hour day online...if we’re lucky enough to have a job, period. Some of us don’t have sweet and tender spouses ready to be there to back us up in our darkest time of need. Some of us have suffered abuse at night but at least had those hours on the job as a way to escape the blows for a while. Some of our children are facing hunger now more than ever...maybe for the first time in their little lives. Maybe the weight of the crises between moms and dad is spilling over and the littles are catching the brunt of it in ways we cannot imagine.
\n\n\nWe are NOT in the same boat. The single mom with three kids that’s trying to figure out how to keep her family together is not the same as the retired couple sipping their martini and watching the evening news together in their neat and tidy mansion on the 9th hole of the local country club.
\n\n\nWe are NOT in the same boat. The dad who works three jobs to put food on the table and finds himself standing in a food bank line for 10 hours to receive a sack of groceries the likes of which others can pick up at the corner market without a second thought.
\n\n\nWe are NOT in the same boat. Blacks and Latinos are dying in far greater numbers simply because their demographic puts them at a higher risk for disease.
\n\n\nWe ARE, however, in the same storm...more or less. We are facing a formidable foe. I pray we get through this together. But some of us won’t. Many of us won’t.
\n\n\nWe are seeing exactly what I told you we would see. I told you, if the numbers didn’t turn out to be the mega-catastrophic death tolls originally predicted, we would have people screaming that we over-reacted. I told you this would happen if the curve flattened but it’s not because we over-reacted. It’s because the safety measures we put in place did their jobs. This debate will rage for months...could more lives have been saved if we started earlier? Did we do enough? Did we do too much? Where and when did the virus actually start? Since we didn’t have enough tests, what is the actually number of patients infected?
\n\n\nNow we are seeing protests of the shutdown and some officials are easing restrictions in what others see as too soon and with reckless abandon. Just the other day I wrote a post about gaslighting and we are seeing more and more of that, too. Changes will come at a dizzying speed and it’s going to be hard to keep up. Throw a presidential election in the mix and...holy cats...what a mess.
\n\n\nIt’s not all gloom and doom, though. Look at how folks are rallying around the people on the front lines. Look at how people are contributing and volunteering and organizing. As Mrs. Rogers told her little boy...”Look for the helpers.” They're out there and they are doing good things. There are positive things coming from this. People are searching out ways to be of service.
\n\n\nIf you’re still having trouble finding a ray of hope, try this. There wasn’t a single school shooting in all of March 2020...the first March since 2002 to not see one.
\n\n\nThat is a sobering thought.
\n\n\nMaybe, just maybe....maybe we don’t WANT to go back to normal.
\n\n\nMaybe this is our chance to change. This is our do-over.
\n\n\nI had to do it after Mr. Virgo died. I had to create a whole new normal. A whole new world. A whole new identity. Heck, if I...in all my messy dysfunction...could work with God and create something as beautiful as the life I’m living, anything is possible.
\n\n\nAnything.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n\n““Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.”
\nIsaiah 43:18-19 ESV\n
#StartingOver, #Healing, #Coronavirus
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-04-19T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/04/19/day-we-are-in-the.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Growth","New Ideas","God","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Humbled","Choices","Change","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/04/18/day-the-transmogrification-of-the.html", "title": "Day 33: The Transmogrification of the World", "content_html": "\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/b63c5f7821.jpg\")
You can ask anyone who knows me...especially my sweet hubby...CHANGE is my middle name. I can roll with the punches like the best of them. I can adapt, adjust, regroup, reform, revise, diversify, shift, twist, transform, remodel, and steer in a whole new direction. I’ve made myself over so many times, I am unrecognizable to those who’ve known me longest. But there comes a point where it gets “purt near impossible” as my grandma used to say...even for a flexible person like me.
\n\n\nI can handle when things slow down. I can take it when certain items are unavailable. After all, I lived through the great gasoline, toilet paper and sugar shortage of 1973-74 in the UK. We were actually given ration coupons. I hate that this disease is causing so much hardship on the world. It breaks my heart the amount of death that lies in its wake.
\n\n\nThe first time I ever faced the visual shock of devastating change was in the late ‘80s, early ‘90s. I was on my annual trip to West Virginia to visit my family. I always stayed at the farm as much as possible when I went home and no trip was complete without a hike back up on the hill to the old Strawberry Shed. At this time, I could still walk up the trail behind the barn and walk through the woods. Now, old trees have long since fallen up the holler and blocked any way to get up through there, let alone finding the path since it’s overgrown.
\n\n\nThat one particular summer, I hiked back up on the hill and when I came out into the clearing where the old garden was, I dropped to my knees in disbelief. The woods were gone. Just...gone! They had been clear cut and nothing was left but stumps. Something inside me felt broken and I cried my heart out. Someone had killed my childhood memories and I felt violated.
\n\n\nNo one told me about the woods. No one warned me what the change would look like or that I should prepare myself. For them, it was a matter of course. Wood is a commodity on a farm and when you need to build a building or you need some money to live on, you make a withdrawal out of the “Bank of Nature” and cash it in. I knew this in my logical brain, but my emotional brain was devastated.
\n\n\nLast fall, my dear friend Gail told us our beloved Beaver Creek State Park was going to close soon after our “What a Hoot” event with the Girl Campers. She said they were going to cut out some dead wood, thin out the woods to improve the forest health, and mitigate a couple of old holding ponds leftover from the days when the area was a strip mine. The plan was to fill in those two pits and cut some of the far trees so you could once again look down over the edge to see the Pioneer Village below.
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/a4eec22fdf.jpg\")
That sounded good. A healthy move. A needed change. It would promote healthy new growth and cut down on the terrible mosquito problem that infested the area in late summer. I haven’t been back up there yet. The state park is still closed for rehab. And, the pandemic has kept us from camping yet. Then, I saw the first photos from the park and I was once again hit in the gut with that familiar pain from such a visual change.
\n\n\nThe trees are just...gone. It looks like all of them, from what I can see. What was once magical is now just a memory. We can only hope that what is there will become beautiful again, but it won’t be in our lifetime. The changes we are seeing from the pandemic may also be far reaching. Many are unimaginable and hit us in the gut. Things are different. And more change will come. And some of it will be downright ugly and frightening, but....at the same time...
\n\n\nThe birds will sing.
\n\n\nThe sun will rise and set.
\n\n\nThe seasons will change.
\n\n\nBabies will come.
\n\n\nElders will go.
\n\n\nThe water will flow from the peaks of the mountains to the valleys below.
\n\n\nThere will be fires and storms and earthquakes and disease.
\n\n\nAnd there will be life.
\n\n\nResilient, strong, adaptable people will persevere. We may not live long enough to see how it all plays out but we can rest assured of one thing...
\n\n\nNo matter what is thrown at us in this life, we know the end of the story and good triumphs over evil.
\n\n\nIt is finished. We just haven’t seen the end of it yet.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-04-18T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/04/18/day-the-transmogrification-of-the.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","West Virginia","The Farm","Anger","Courage","Aging","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/04/15/day-cognitive-dissonance-and-my.html", "title": "Day 30: Cognitive Dissonance and My World View", "content_html": "\n“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”
\nJeremiah 29:11 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/b019bb0bc3.jpg\")
Since we’ve been on the topic of mental health, we might as well broach one of the biggest crazy-makers there is. Cognitive Dissonance. I am not an expert, but I have a general understanding of this psychological concept. And it’s something that actually hurts my brain.
\n\n\nIt takes all kinds to make the world go ‘round. If we were all alike it would be a pretty boring world. There was a time in the not so distant past that people disagreed with each other...usually in politics or religion...and could still practice civil discourse without going off the rails in a temper tantrum. There was a time when civility and grace was a valued character trait.
\n\n\nFor me, Cognitive Dissonance shows up when I look at the world today versus, say...when Mr. Virgo died seven years ago. My long held world view does not match the view of the world I see today. It’s like I woke up in some George Orwell novel or something. Or a twisted version of Oz where the Wizard is an even bigger monster behind the curtain.
\n\n\nI’m not necessarily referring to party politics here, but the general state of humanity. This warp in my vision is highly disconcerting and makes me feel uncomfortable. But, it doesn’t make me pull a nutty and go off on perfect strangers via social media. It doesn’t make me scream obscenities at others because our views clash.
\n\n\nI can experience this level of discomfort and form a resolve to do what I can to help change the world. At the same time, I have to recognize there are others who are just as uncomfortable with my views as I am of theirs. It’s time to separate the wheat from the chaff. We have an opportunity here in the midst of the pandemic to come together with a little grace and poise and acceptance of our differences. We can...we MUST work together for the common good or we are lost.
\n\n\nI own a square foot of this world. It’s the place where I stand. It is from my square foot plot that I can build my platform. It is from my platform that I can serve others. It is in serving others that I find grace within. It is grace that will be perceived as kindness. It is kindness that demonstrates love. And, it is love that is the very foundation of life.
\n\n\nMay we all stand firmly on our square foot of ground and bring love and peace to the world. May this period spent in time out not be for nuthin’.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-04-15T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/04/15/day-cognitive-dissonance-and-my.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Growth","New Ideas","Comfort","Grace","Wisdom","Courage","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/04/14/day-its-ok-to-cry.html", "title": "Day 29: It’s OK to Cry. It’s Also OK Not To", "content_html": "\n“I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.”
\nEphesians 4:1-3 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/06bee5739d.jpg\")
I’ve gone through a lot of therapy in my life. I have struggled with depression, anxiety, and the substance abuse of self-medication. I’m a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and the progeny of a dysfunctional alcoholic father. I haven’t always selected the best relationships and I’ve made a thousand and one critical errors of judgement. My life has been messy and I’ve hurt a lot of people along the way. But, I’ve had a boatload of therapy and then I finally listened to the knock on my heart and let Jesus into my life to perform the most amazing miracle in an instant.
\n\n\nHe made me new.
\n\n\nThat therapy...those long years of prodding and poking the beast within me till I could expose it for what it was gave me the tools that I desperately needed when I lost Mr. Virgo. The tools I learned along the way, and the faith and trust I have in Jesus brought me back into the light and transformed my pain into my purpose.
\n\n\nI was telling someone the other day, if ever there were anything that could possibly shake twenty years of sobriety, it would be the last couple of months. At first, the coronavirus was something far away and didn’t touch me. It was no different than any other news story viewed with empathy but also a certain...detachment. It didn’t really hit home that it was coming here. I had this false sense of security, as I’m sure many of you felt as well.
\n\n\nThen, Mr. FixIt had a stroke. Mild, thank God. But... “he’s had a stroke” is NOT what I expected to hear that cold Friday night in February. Thankfully, that didn’t settle in and trigger my PTSD too much. As a matter of fact, I don’t remember much of the first couple of weeks afterward. That’s the nature of our brain...it protects us when it can.
\n\n\nWhat I do remember was...sitting together, watching the news. The coronavirus was here. We were transfixed. The threat of a deadly pandemic had a way of minimizing the stroke and changed our focus outward. We watched and watched and watched till we had to stop for our own mental health.
\n\n\nThen tornado season is hitting when these poor people are at their lowest. My heart is breaking...all the time.
\n\n\nI used to cry. A lot. I’d cry at anything...Kleenex commercials, the smell of my baby’s head, a sad movie, the tenderness of falling in love, the aching grief of loss. It occurred to me sometime in all of this...I haven’t cried. Not a break down, ugly cry. Not the sob till you can’t catch your breath kind of cry. It made me think something might be wrong with me.
\n\n\nOh, I’ve had moments when a silent tear has slipped down my cheek. When I snuck to the bathroom to throw up while they started the stroke protocol on my husband. When I got him home and finally felt the relief it wasn’t any worse than it was. When the news started showing the hard realities of the pandemic. When my great grandbaby said, “I love you, Gigi” and I couldn’t scoop her up in my arms. When I couldn’t be with my kids and grandkids. Then I saw the potters graves of the unclaimed, unidentified bodies piling up in NYC.
\n\n\nWhat is wrong with me that I am not beating my chest and sobbing?
\n\n\nIt turns out...there’s nothing wrong with me. I know it’s ok to cry. I know it’s healing to release those cleansing hormones. And, I know Who I hand this all over to every night. I know that i can lay every burden down at the foot of the Cross and leave it there and God will carry it for me. It’s like my tattoo reminds me...my burdens are light as a feather because God carries them for me.
\n\n\nThere is nothing wrong with seeking out the help of a mental heath practitioner if you are feeling overwhelmed. Most are offering video conferencing now and that makes them so much more accessible now.
\n\n\nI learned a lot about crying when I became a widow. Maybe I cried all the tears I had left in those first two or three years. Maybe I just got a heck of a lot stronger or braver or harder from that experience. I don’t know. All I know is, it’s ok if you can’t find the tears to cry right now. These are tough times. It’s just so much easier when you don’t have to carry this burden all by yourself. When things ease up, maybe our tears will come more easily. Till then, may you find some Peace within you.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-04-14T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/04/14/day-its-ok-to-cry.html", "tags": ["Faith","Comfort","Fear","Courage","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/04/06/day-three-weeks-downhow-many.html", "title": "Day 21: Three Weeks Down...How Many More?", "content_html": "\n“Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress. He brought them out of darkness and the shadow of death, and burst their bonds apart. Let them thank the Lord for his steadfast love, for his wondrous works to the children of man! For he shatters the doors of bronze and cuts in two the bars of iron.”
\nPsalm 107:13-16 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/8980e28040.jpg\")
I was thinking about the shutdown this weekend and wondered how people would have reacted if, from the get-go, we were told...”Ok, y’all need to go home and stay home. The only places you can go is the grocery store, the pharmacy, the gas station, and the doctor or hospital...period! You can help a senior or a debilitated family member, but everything else is shut down...like, NOW!”
\n\n\nCan you imagine the rebellion and chaos? Thank God it didn’t come that way, because this way is bad enough. We did great this week. We did go to the nursery to buy our tomato plants and picked up a pizza, but we stayed out of stores. It’s going to be even more important to do that in the next two weeks as we near the peak.
\n\n\nI don’t think the “official numbers” of coronavirus cases being reported, in this country especially, is anywhere near accurate. I talked with friends this weekend who are doctors. They said they had patients who clearly had the symptoms, but you have to call the DHHR, give them the info, and THEY make the determination whether the patient gets the test. We were woefully underprepared for this crisis, but hopefully this will be a lesson and we can learn and grow from it for the next time a pandemic comes.
\n\n\nLet’s just continue to do our best, to hope and pray that we get through this with the fewest deaths possible, and we can live to fight another day. There are so many things that need to change in our immediate future, and I will do my best to help wherever I can. I have country living skills that I can share with others. I vow to teach the young people in my family what they need to know to thrive in hard times.
\n\n\nMy phone rang yesterday and it was a group of girlfriends from high school calling with a surprise group video chat. What a treat! It was wonderful to see each other and lift each other up on a sunny Palm Sunday. It did our hearts good.
\n\n\nI have no idea how much longer we’ll be sheltering at home. Last night after supper, Mr. FixIt and I went for a walk out our country lane. We passed a neighbor and her littles out for a walk to check the mail. I asked if they were the ones who left that lovely container of homemade cookies on our stoop at Christmas. The mama smiled and nodded her head. She pointed to the two older girls...maybe five and seven years old. I told them what a great job they did and that their cookies were delicious. Those little girls beamed!
\n\n\nHow are you all doing with meal prep? Are you tired of cooking? Have you come up with innovative ways to prepare the same thing over and over? I made spaghetti last night but I was out of fresh mushrooms. I used canned mushrooms and I really thought the sauce was awful. Mr. FixIt loved it, but I thought it was bland and too soupy. But, as my grandma used to say...”It’ll be et!” Food was never wasted at Grandma’s house, and it won’t be wasted at mine, either.
\n\n\nSo, it’s Monday. It may be a bumpy ride this week. Do what you need to do to get by, but be safe. Try not to watch the news too much. We will get through this.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-04-06T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/04/06/day-three-weeks-downhow-many.html", "tags": ["Faith","Overcoming Obstacles","Courage","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/03/26/day-remember-the-good-ol.html", "title": "Day 10: Remember the Good Ol’ Days?", "content_html": "\n“We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed;”
\n2 Corinthians 4:8-9 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/cef1f2a991.jpg\")
When someone says “Remember the good ol’ days?” now, they could just as easily be referring to last month than 100 years ago. Remember when we could go out to the movies? Remember when we could eat at restaurants? I love reminiscing and looking at old photos like this one. It reminds me of what they called “a simpler time”. But was it, really?
\n\n\nLook at this kitchen. That stove didn’t get started with the turn of a knob. Someone had to cut, haul, and chop wood. They had to split kindling and stack it all near the back door. This was done every day or you ate cold food. With those boots under the stove, I’d say there are some hard working men and boys in that house and they eat a ton of food. That woman is cooking three squares and baking all her own bread and biscuits. She had to tend a garden, preserve the food, store it properly. Hopefully there are a couple of other young girls around to help with the washing and cleaning and all the other jobs on the farm.
\n\n\nI believe that is the family “washing machine” the woman is using. This must have been an incredible convenience item to relieve her of scrubbing heavy wet work clothes on a washboard. The water had to be toted from the well, stream, cistern, or spring. It had to be heated in large pots on that stove. She had to save up the ash from the wood stove to make lye. She also saved the lard from butchering and rendered it for use in baking, cooking, and making assorted salves and soaps.
\n\n\nThat woman was the family doctor. She gathered herbs and medicinal plants, using knowledge handed down from generation to generation. She may have been the only midwife in a twenty mile radius. She milked the dairy cow out behind the barn...twice a day...and raised the cream to churn butter. Her sewing rocker is in the kitchen. Here is where she read her bible as the biscuits rose. She sewed and mended her family’s clothing to conserve them for longer wear. When they couldn’t be mended anymore, she cut them up and sewed the pieces together to make quilts.
\n\n\nThere wasn’t a lot of socializing in this day and age. There might be women who gathered for a quilting bee or to throw a wedding or a funeral. A woman valued those precious moments she shared with other women. The children were sent out of the house after breakfast and they came home at supper time. They walked to church and the one room schoolhouse down the road....maybe miles away. Or, if they were really lucky, they might have a horse or two...or maybe even a wagon for when they needed to make longer trips.
\n\n\nI show pictures like this to my grandkids and they just stare at it like it’s an alien planet. I was looking at the woman in the picture. My first thought was, this is the grandma. And, it could be. But I wouldn’t doubt it a bit if that’s the mom. All that hard work and all those babies made the womenfolk age well beyond their years.
\n\n\nI would never call this “a simpler time” in regard to the work that was put in on a daily basis. Yet, compared to the manic hustle most people live with today, I would say it is simpler in many ways. I had to smile the other day. Daughter #2, who showed very little interest in learning anything “old timey” when she was growing up called to say this pandemic has made her think about her life and how she’s living it. She wants to raise a garden. She would like to learn how to be more self-sufficient. Her mama is SO excited by this!!! I sent her pictures of the Encyclopedia of Country Living and the Ball Book of Food Preservation. This is a common ground I have longed to share with my kids.
\n\n\nThis pandemic is scary as heck. And it’s shaken many of us to the core. But, as I’ve been saying from the beginning, there will be gems in the flames of this. There will be great sadness, and there will also be great revolution. I hope we have awakened a sleeping giant.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-03-26T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/03/26/day-remember-the-good-ol.html", "tags": ["Family","Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","Growth","Comfort","Wisdom","Courage","Humbled","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/03/25/day-kindness-changes-everything.html", "title": "Day 9: Kindness Changes Everything", "content_html": "\n“The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.”
\nProverbs 16:9 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/e74abd4db7.jpg\")
If there was ever a time to be kind, it is now. Under normal, everyday circumstances the emotional climate would be highly individualized. These people happy, these people sad. These people stressed, these people relaxed. There would be clusters of people sharing the same emotions surrounding a particular event like a wedding, a death, a concert, a family gathering. Never in our lifetime has there been such a global group of people sharing the same emotional event at the same time. For those of us who can easily pick up on the vibes of others, this feels like having your brain in a frying pan set on high. Those of us who have gone through it know this feeling. It has a name. Grief.
\n\n\nNeedless to say, everyone is living with a heightened set of emotions. We are all experiencing grief in a collective way. Whether you are fearful, anxious, filled with dread. Or resolved, determined, keeping calm and carrying on. All of these states of being are emotionally taxing and make burnout a very real possibility. This elevation of being can make us respond and relate in ways that are totally unexpected and unlike the person we really are.
\n\n\nThat’s why we saw people getting in fights over toilet paper last week. It was crazy to us...but it was perfectly rational to those people who were in the moment. I think we all need to step back and breathe a little. Do a little meditation. Do a little yoga. Say a little prayer. Light a candle. Take a bubble bath. Drink a nice cup of tea. Go for a walk. I know I’m being repetitive here and I’ve said these things before, but I can’t reiterate enough how important it is to practice self care when you grieve.
\n\n\nIf we burn ourselves out now, we aren’t going to have the energy to fight anything that’s coming our way. We need to be our healthiest selves. We need to focus on eating good, immune boosting foods. We need to avoid lots of empty calories like sugar and alcohol. We need to resist the temptation to zone out till it all passes over...immersed in junk TV and junkier food.
\n\n\nAbove all, we need to practice kindness...to each other, and to ourselves. Kindness goes a long way toward soothing ragged nerves. West Virginia’s numbers doubled yesterday. And there’s a case in Wood County now, so it’s here. My stepson calls us every day to check in. He’ll pick up whatever we need and bring it out to us. We have two medical appointments...one tomorrow, one Thursday...and then we are home for a solid week. We are taking every precaution.
\n\n\nI find I’m not accomplishing what I thought I would do. I have yet to start stripping the wallpaper in the dining room. I haven’t started sorting through papers or getting rid of junk. I’ve been binge-watching West Wing with Mr. FixIt and staying to maintain social distance from the refrigerator. I resisted baking again today, but we have some rapidly browning bananas so I’m going to be forced to do something with them because I don’t want them to go to waste.
\n\n\nHere’s your helpful hint for today:
\n\n\nJust because the IRS has postponed the filing date to July 15th for federal taxes does not necessarily mean your state has followed suit. As a matter of fact, there are very few states that have. As of this writing, West Virginia has maintained April 15th. Since we have to file state, we might as well file federal at the same time. It’s my goal to get that done next week.
\n\n\nHere is a link to TurboTax with an explanation.
\n\n\nHang in there, dear ones. It’s about to get bumpy...but we can get through this. Whatever your faith or inclination...be it prayer or good thoughts or positive energy...keep sending it. We need all the help we can get!
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n\n“Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.”
\nRomans 12:12 ESV\n
#Hope, #Trials, #COVID19
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-03-25T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/03/25/day-kindness-changes-everything.html", "tags": ["Faith","Health","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/03/24/day-this-little-piggy-stayed.html", "title": "Day 8: This Little Piggy Stayed Home", "content_html": "\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/7e9ddfdb8d.jpg\")
We had to go out again yesterday...this time to a doctor visit. The news was good...Mr. FixIt has a heart! And it’s in pretty good shape for a guy his age. After Losing Mr. Virgo to a sudden heart attack, and then Mr. FixIt had the stroke...I pretty much insisted they do a cardiac work up. We are breathing an even bigger sigh of relief over here.
\n\n\nThe governor of West Virginia ordered us to “stay-at-home” beginning this evening. Except for the doctor, the emergency room, the grocery or pharmacy, gas stations, construction stores...you know, all the places we normally gone anyway. He even said it was fine to go to the state parks and go fishing! Other than restaurants, not much has changed as far as where we are allowed to go. What HAS changed is the going.
\n\n\nI was thinking about this yesterday. What is it about being told to do something, like stay at home, and the only thing in the whole wide world you want to do is NOT stay at home. BUT...have a busy week of running errands and having appointments and the only thing you want is to just have a day at home with no trips to town. It’s crazy. It’s like being told to take a nap as a toddler. Now I’d give up a lot just to take a nap!
\n\n\nGovernors are resorting to this extra measure because just telling people to stay home wasn’t working. Because there’s an inordinate amount of people who think rules don’t apply to them. They are merely suggestions...more like guidelines, really. They say you can get a ticket if you’re out and about but I ask you, what good would that do when all you have to say is -I’m going to the grocery store-?
\n\n\nDaughter #2 is an anxious sort. She is so much like her mama in so many ways. I wish I could have given my kids anything but anxiety and depression. It is what it is. She called last evening and I recognized that quivering “I’m fine” tone of voice. So, I talked her down off the ledge and she felt stronger and more in control by the time we rang off. We talked about everything...from ways to conserve toilet paper to what was the name of that book you were telling me about.
\n\n\nWe talked about making plans and writing them down. What do you want to accomplish this week? This month? Six months? A year? She wants to be more self-sufficient so she doesn’t have to worry so much. Good. Check with the City of Denver...can you have chickens? Look for used pallets you can turn into a chicken coop. You want a garden? Great! Start planting seeds in peat pots so you’ll have seedlings to plant when the weather warms up. Mark out where you want a garden and get your exercise spading it up.
\n\n\nWe have to be proactive regarding our mental health during crises such as this. Just because we need to stay at home doesn’t mean we need to stay inside 24/7. Even if you only walk around your house or your building or down your block and back, getting some fresh air in the middle of the day does wonders for your spirits. Build a routine. Set your clock for mental health breaks. Drink a cup of soothing herbal tea. Play some music and sing along. Take a bubble bath. Draw a picture. If you sew, look up how to make masks for people since there is a critical shortage.
\n\n\nYou might want to practice a little social distancing from your refrigerator. Packing on a few pounds during this quarantine won’t help your health and you certainly won’t feel better. Try on a pair of jeans every few days to make sure they fit. As my dear friend Deneene says, sweats or pajama pants will trick you into believing all is well in the kingdom. I was going to make an apple pie last night, but then I decided not to. We had already had two pies in the last ten days. I’ve been losing weight and I don’t want to put it back on. We can have treats...just once or twice a week, not every day.
\n\n\nHumans are a resourceful lot. We can figure out other ways to do things. We can make something out of nothing. We can recycle, reuse, repurpose just about anything. We’ve become pretty complacent in this life. I know I have. But, my years of reading Mother Earth News and the Encyclopedia of Country Living have been preparing me for a moment such as this. Some of us may not get through this. Those of us that do must take it upon themselves to apply the lessons learned so that we might not be caught so flat-footed next time. When I meditated on this last night, a thought came to me.
\n\n\nMy friend Uma Girish was preparing to facilitate a group call when she asked her inner guidance what she should share. This is what she received:
\n\n\n“The virus is not the enemy. The virus is The Messenger.”
\n\n\nYes...the virus can be horrifying. Yes...people can and will die. But it brings us a message...loud and clear.
\n\n\nRaise your head and look beyond where you stand so you might better prepare for what is coming.
\n\n\nRemember what is really important in this life.
\n\n\nLook at what we are doing to our world...to the environment. We are slowly killing it and now...it is rapidly attacking us.
\n\n\nFor every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Cause and effect. I don’t think it’s too late, but we’re going to have to make some big changes and we all know...while change is good, it is not always easy. Change, we must. We have no other choice now.
\n\n\nMaybe God’s just putting us in a time out so we can think about what we have done to the garden He gave us.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-03-24T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/03/24/day-this-little-piggy-stayed.html", "tags": ["Faith","Health","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Growth","Gratitude","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/03/23/day-creative-social-distancing.html", "title": "Day 7: Creative Social Distancing", "content_html": "\n“Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”
\nPhilippians 2:4 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/62f9ad8e93.jpg\")
Ok, we have been practicing social distancing for a week now. Well, actually...it’s been a month since Mr. FixIt’s stroke and we haven’t spent more than a couple of hours apart in that entire time. That’s ok...I am happy to be here for my sweetheart and take care of him to the best of my ability. I love him to the moon and back. AND...we get very close to standing on each other’s last nerve sometimes. Perfectly normal under normal circumstances. These are anything BUT normal circumstances!
\n\n\nWe still have lots of doctor appointments and are considering our options as far as postponing. Some we may, some we really should not. However, we may have our dilemma decided for us if the offices call and cancel themselves. In the meantime, I’m going to get outside this week and clean out the camper so that I will have my little sanctuary to escape to. Also, if my Colorado girls have to bug out and come someplace safe where they can live off the land and be self sufficient, we may need the camper as alternative housing during this social isolation. We’re just keeping our options open.
\n\n\nThis has truly been the weirdest week of my life...of all of our lives, I imagine. It’s like waking up in a George Orwell novel. I’ve been collecting little nuggets of wisdom.
\n\n\nUse plastic grocery sacks or doggy poop bags as “gloves” for opening door handles, handling money, and pumping gas leaving gloves for healthcare workers.
\n\n\nTry to avoid buying up the WIC items when shopping so that moms on WIC don’t have to go home empty handed. They cannot use their WIC coupons for anything but WIC items. Maybe they’ll change that temporarily, I don’t know.
\n\n\nSing the Doxology as you wash your hands...it’s 20 seconds and you’ve praised God at the same time.
\n\n\nHave “the talk” with your loved ones about what you would want done should the unthinkable happen. It is not morbid...it is an act of love. Tell three people, and tell them who the other two are and that they should communicate in the event you become seriously ill.
\n\n\nSpend this time organizing your papers. Write things down...passwords, account numbers, important information. Write letters to your loved ones and stick them in a desk drawer.
\n\n\nI’ll write more as I think of them or run across hints that are helpful. In the meantime, Mother Nature is showing us that life does return. It is a promise.
\n\n\nToday’s Question:
\n\n\nAre you eating comfort food or trying to maintain a healthy diet?
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-03-23T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/03/23/day-creative-social-distancing.html", "tags": ["Faith","Health","Overcoming Obstacles","Fear","Courage","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/03/22/day-seeking-comfort-in-an.html", "title": "Day 6: Seeking Comfort in an Uncomfortable Time", "content_html": "\n“I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.\"”
\nJohn 16:33 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/debc519185.jpg\")
Mr. FixIt and I have a kind of rhythm. While I do most of the meal prep, we seem to take turns making breakfast. I’m the eggs and pancakes gal. He’s the maker of oats. Ohhhh, he makes the BEST oatmeal. We only use old fashioned rolled oats by Quaker. I like some chewy in my oats...not wallpaper paste. He uses a lite version of brown sugar that either has Splenda or Stevia in it...I can’t remember. He adds some cinnamon. Then, when we dish it up, we add whatever berries we have handy and a small handful of crushed pecans or walnuts. His gets a splash of 2% milk...mine gets a little bit of Half & Half. Perfection!
\n\n\nComfort food is a go to when times are stressful. Currently we are eating our way through that blackberry pie I baked Friday night. We had pizza for dinner. We cannot do that all the time...but at the end of a long week that lasted a year, we deserved an indulgence. Without guilt.
\n\n\nWe went to town yesterday to top off the gas tank on one of the trucks and to fill all our gas cans. West Virginia now has twelve confirmed cases of coronavirus...the nearest is one county over. Our governor came on last night to urge us to take action right now and ALL of us stay home. So many people aren’t taking this seriously and they only need to see Washington, New York, and Italy to see what can happen if you are not proactive.
\n\n\nOne of the problems in rural areas is a general distrust of government. “Revenuers” were busting up stills in these hills long before I was born. Mountaineers are fiercely independent and don’t cotton to people telling them what to do. The fella who stopped to help get the tire off the truck the other day was a perfect example. I told him I’d shake his hand but I couldn’t because of social distancing and he rattled off a profanity laced diatribe about not being worried about any virus coming to get him. We just shook our heads as he drove off with his 24 pack of Bud.
\n\n\nWe’ve decided to binge watch West Wing during our TV time instead of watching the news. I watch West Wing every election year. It’s comforting to know how it’s going to turn out. I love the cast and characters. And in the entire series, there was only one episode I don’t care to watch. That’s the one where the characters are being filmed as a documentary. I skip that one every time and I’ve binge watched the entire series at least 5 times.
\n\n\nToday’s Question:
\n\n\nWhat are you doing to combat boredom?
\n\n\nBe safe, dear ones.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-03-22T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/03/22/day-seeking-comfort-in-an.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","West Virginia","Comfort","Courage","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/03/21/day-five-love-in-the.html", "title": "Day Five: Love in the Time of CoVid", "content_html": "\n“But if anyone has the world's goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God's love abide in him? Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.”
\n1 John 3:17-18 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/ce8f7636b7.jpg\")
Thankfully we didn’t need to venture to town yesterday. Instead, we took a drive over to the farm to check in. Oh...what an amazingly warm day it was. I actually saw the thermometer at 79! All was well at the home place. The daffodils are blooming as are the forsythia and the flowering quince. The irises are shooting their flat, sword-like blades out from the wet, awakening earth. As you drive out through the country, the bushes along the roadsides are gaining a green, ghostly hue as the leaves begin to form.
\n\n\nThis is rockslide season and we saw evidence of several...one was actually encroaching on the road. The highway crew hadn’t gotten to it yet. It is supposed to get chilly again this weekend and then I wouldn’t be surprised if we stay in the high 50’s, low 60’s for a while. I don’t think there’s much of a chance of having another freeze this spring.
\n\n\nSpeaking of spring, with all the madness going on in the world, I totally missed the first day of spring! It’s here...even though it is highly overshadowed this time.
\n\n\nI read something yesterday that someone shared. It was a letter to the humans from the vantage point of the CoVid-19 virus. It spoke of how we haven’t been paying attention. We have been so busy chasing after stuff and working to achieve a lifestyle that is unsustainable, that finally the earth broke. There were horrific wildfires and we looked on with morbid curiosity and counted our blessings it wasn’t us. There were deadly hurricanes and we sighed and looked on with a tinge of sadness at the devastation. Then our attention shifted elsewhere and the thoughts and prayers were replaced with the next thing in the news cycle.
\n\n\nWe as a people are so self-centered. We look out for number one. Maybe, just maybe this virus swooped in to get our attention...to wake us up to the devastation around us. To how unhealthy the world has become. And if the world is unhealthy, WE are unhealthy.
\n\n\nI saw a picture of a mega freeway in Los Angeles. There were eight cars on it. I think someone said it hadn’t seen that little traffic since the Watts Riots of 1965. I commented that maybe Mother Earth is going to be able to catch her breath. Maybe the skies will clear. Maybe the sun will shine a little brighter. Maybe the waters will freshen a little. Maybe the pH in the rain will normalize and the fish will flourish.
\n\n\nMaybe the quiet stillness will give us time to stop the frenetic pace we have set for ourselves and we can really connect with our family members...even if it’s through a window or over the phone or FaceTime. I’ve already noticed more caring for each other. Children are checking in with their parents to see how they’re doing. They are offering to run errands or go to the store. Strangers are helping strangers.
\n\n\nThis is a time like no other we have faced. But, our grandparents and great grandparents were called to war. They were bombed and food was rationed. They grew victory gardens and knitted socks for troops. All we are being asked to do is stay home. While the threat of the disease itself is terribly disconcerting, we can do things to help prevent the spread.
\n\n\nI’ve heard the youngsters say, “Ah, it’s not going to affect me. It’s just the Boomers.” Well, first of all, no. It’s not just the Boomers. They are finding people much younger than they first thought are getting sick and some seriously. And...who do you think those Boomers (and the generation or so after them) are? They are the doctors, scientists, financial wizards, farmers...the experts. The ones who hold the keys to a great deal of knowledge. Those who say they’re “just Boomers” had better learn a whole lot pretty darned quickly.
\n\n\nI’m having nightmares. I rarely remember dreams, but I’m having dreams of death and dying. Too much news. Too much information. I had to step back and stop watching as much of it. I have to limit myself to a half hour of news a day. Just to stay up to speed with any breaking news. To counteract the bombardment of bad news, I’m putting in twice as much good.
\n\n\nYesterday, I baked a pie. I went to the farm and sat in my grandma’s chair. I did an hour of meditation/yoga on Facebook Live with my dear Earth Mother yogi friend, Sue in Colorado. I snuggled the kitty. I walked around our property with Mr. FixIt. I made BBQ pulled pork sandwiches for supper and pie for dessert. And I spent time studying my bible devotionals. It was a good day...even though the virus is creeping closer.
\n\n\nMy God is bigger than any virus. He’s bigger than any of my stuff. When I remember who’s in charge here and how this story ends, even if I caught the virus and went to Heaven...I win. Because HE won...and I put my faith in HIM.
\n\n\nI will not be afraid.
\n\n\nI will not be afraid.
\n\n\nI will not be afraid.
\n\n\nYou can watch my friend Sue’s movement meditation video here.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-03-21T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/03/21/day-five-love-in-the.html", "tags": ["Health","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Positive Energy","West Virginia","Growth","God","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Choices","Change","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/03/20/day-four-holy-catsits-feel.html", "title": "Day Four: Holy Cats...It’s Feel Good Friday!!!", "content_html": "\n“Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.”
\nPsalms 19:14 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/d6e6dee0db.jpg\")
One of the benefits of living in West Virginia is the rural nature of things makes social distancing pretty easy. After all...it’s what we’ve done for generations. It isn’t a big stretch for Mr. FixIt and me to hang around The Ponderosa or The Farm, but we do normally take several trips a week into town. We decided yesterday, the biggest change we’ve seen in our lives is not getting to dine out. I didn’t realize how often we eat meals away from home till that little luxury was taken away.
\n\n\nWe had to make a trip to town yesterday. We got the estimate on the damage to the truck...to the tune of $3,000! Yikes! Thank God for insurance. Mr. FixIt had a doctor’s appointment. I was not allowed back with him. Have you ever accompanied a man to the doctor?
\n\n\n“So, how are things going?”
\n\n\n“Good.”
\n\n\n“Are you having any problems?”
\n\n\n“No, not really.”
\n\n\n“How’s that back pain?”
\n\n\n“About the same.”
\n\n\n“Is that new medicine I gave you last time helping.”
\n\n\n“I think so.”
\n\n\n“Any questions?”
\n\n\n“Nope.”
\n\n\n“Ok, then...you’re looking great! Let’s see you back in about three months.”
\n\n\n“Ok.”
\n\n\n?♀️
\n\n\nWhen Lorie told me I had to stay in the waiting room, I looked at Mr. FixIt and narrowed my eyes.
\n\n\n“You’d darn well better tell him everything!”
\n\n\nHe’s a good listener...he was in there forever. And he came out and addressed every single thing I would have wanted checked.
\n\n\nWhat’s the message here? Oh...that he’s a grown man and can take care of himself in his appointments? Of course he can. Sheesh. But, that being said, men...no matter how diligent they are...sometimes forget the details of the conversation. Or they don’t quite grasp the subtle nuances of a new medication direction. Having a second set of ears helps tremendously, especially when they belong to someone who loves you. I also have the experience of sitting with Mr. Virgo and having him say no to every test our doctor wanted him to have and he was dead five months later. So, yeah...there’s that.
\n\n\nWe went to Walmart to pick up some prescriptions and bought a new tire for the truck. It wasn’t very crowded and everyone was practicing social distancing. We didn’t hang around long though and we hightailed it back home where I prepared a sumptuous dinner of steak, broccoli, and baked potato.
\n\n\nThere is always something to feel good about. For instance, yesterday Lester Holt told us to leave those boxes from Amazon outside for 24 hours because the virus can’t live that long on cardboard. He also said to wear gloves when you open the boxes because many of the products come from China. Why do I feel good about this? Well, I’ve been trying to cut down on my online (sometimes comfort) shopping and this is the perfect time. We can free up all those workers in the Amazon warehouses to focus on getting medical goods and critical supplies shipped and not have to worry about my books or batteries or what have you. And, I’ll be saving more money and who doesn’t need to be doing more of THAT right about now, am I right?
\n\n\nAnother feel good thing...people are talking nicer to each other. At least, that’s been my experience these last few weeks. We are finally getting back a little of that “we’re all in this thing together” vibe and I don’t think it’s humanly possible to have my fill of that! Letting people in line in front of you. Standing back and letting someone have the first choice of a piece of meat...even if that means you don’t get the one you had your eye on. Texts and phone calls and “I love you’s”...these are the sweet sounds of compassion I’ve been yearning for so desperately the last few years.
\n\n\nI was telling someone yesterday that I listened to NY’s Governor Cuomo address the coronavirus on TV and he spoke so kindly. He was efficient and honest and came across as trustworthy and compassionate. When he spoke...even without listening to what he was saying...his voice was soothing, calming. He told folksy stories as a way to humanize this pandemic and allay our fears. I seriously felt my emotions well up in my chest and the sting of tears as I realized...we don’t hear enough of that. And we’re getting beat down because of it. Let’s not wait for the powers that be to be kind and compassionate. Let’s take the bull by the horns and do that ourselves.
\n\n\nThis is exactly how we make THE WORLD great again. Because, all we’ve got is God and each other. And dogs. We’ve got dogs. Oh, and cats, and birds, and.......
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-03-20T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/03/20/day-four-holy-catsits-feel.html", "tags": ["Faith","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Positive Energy","West Virginia","Growth","Courage","Choices","Feel Good Friday"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/03/19/day-three-expect-the-unexpected.html", "title": "Day Three: Expect the Unexpected", "content_html": "\n“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.”
\nProverbs 17:17 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/59b38500f1.jpg\")
We picked up my truck from the mechanic on Tuesday. It was in the shop for ten days but it was fixed and didn’t cost an arm or leg. After breakfast yesterday and a quick update on the news, we decided to drive out to the farm for a little while. On our way, we were just getting ready to cross a bridge when three things happened...I looked ahead to the intersection to make sure no one was stopped, I glanced to my left at the empty campground someone set up just before the oil and gas business left town, and I caught a glimpse of a vehicle passing me in the opposite direction. I turned back to comment to Mr. FixIt that it was a shame that man didn’t set up the campground earlier when he could have made some money on it. Just then, we heard loud banging on the outside of the driver’s side of the truck and the clang of metal on the road.
\n\n\nI looked in the rear view mirror in time to see what looked like a four foot section of rebar go flying up behind my truck with one last smack on the side. It skittered down the road and I was so relieved to see there was no one driving right behind me. Immediately, the rear driver’s side tire started hissing air as I crossed the bridge and pulled into a convenience store parking lot.
\n\n\nSure enough, the tire was giving off it’s final breath and the side of my truck looked like someone took a tire iron to it. It took a few moments to shake off the shock and try to figure out what happened. The best thing I can come up with is something fell off the truck that passed us and I ran over it. I didn’t see anything in the road before, but I was looking ahead and to my left so obviously I missed it.
\n\n\nYes...I have AAA. But, you have to remember, we live in a town of a couple hundred people, we are in the midst of a national emergency, and it was fixin’ to rain. I didn’t really feel like we needed to call for AAA. That’s for times when Mr. FixIt isn’t around.
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/693d5ea8d3.jpg\")
The first thing we had to do was get the jack out of the truck. Well, actually...the first thing we had to do was figure out where the jack is STORED in the truck. Trust me, it wasn’t apparent but we looked it up on YouTube (thank GOD we weren’t out of cell range yet...five to ten more minutes and we would have been.) Unfortunately, I STILL haven’t gotten around to emptying that truck of all my camping gear. I know...I figured if I just left it in there, sooner or later it would be camping time again, right?
\n\n\nI took stuff out of the back seat of the truck and we finally figured out how to get the jack out. I asked Mr. FixIt to let me change the tire so I would remember how to do it. That was one of the things my dad taught me when I was sixteen and I’ve probably only changed two tires my whole life. I wanted to know I could do it alone if necessary...and Mr. FixIt is wonderfully supportive in that.
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/bae956fe51.jpg\")
I cranked down the spare tire under the bed of the truck and got it out. Man, it is REALLY heavy. I couldn’t pick it up, but I could scoot it along the ground till it was where it needed to be. I put the jack in place under the axle and got the truck raised up. I got the lug nuts off and Mr. FixIt reminded me to place them in the lid of the box the jack came in so I wouldn’t misplace any. Then it came time to remove the tire.
\n\n\nI pulled. I kicked, shoved, twisted, pulled, pried, pounded...nothing. That thing was frozen on there. A fellow came over and tried but he couldn’t make any headway either. Mr. FixIt tried...nothing. So, I gave in and called the guy from the garage where we picked up the truck on Tuesday because he just lives less than a mile from where we were. He came right down...with a sledge hammer. I told him I was really disappointed because I wanted to change it myself. He laughed and went to hand me the sledgehammer and we both laughed.
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/43356e3ac6.jpg\")
“Nah...that’s ok. I’ll just hand this job over to you.”
\n\n\nHe got down under the truck and it took some pretty strong blows but it finally came loose. From that point, it wasn’t two minutes till the spare was on and the jack was out from under the truck. It took a little figuring, but we got the spare tire holder cranked back up under the truck, put everything back inside, and turned around. It wasn’t prudent to go out to the farm without a good spare. We stopped and filled the new tire with air and headed back home.
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/16e2563747.jpg\")
A few phone calls and the claim, an appointment for the estimate, and a rental car were all lined up. A hot bubble bath and I was good to go!
\n\n\nThe enemy is pounding hard on all of us right now. But this was such an opportunity today. I got to refresh some skills I may need again down the road. I was in a safe place less than a mile from the help I ended up needing. I was fifty yards from the nearest air pump. My truck was drivable. I have a wonderful husband who supports my need for independence and courage. It reminded me of the worship song we sing in church.
\n\n\n“You took what the enemy meant for evil, and You turned it for good...You turned it for good!”
\n\n\nThere are so many uncertainties right now and if we focus on that, things can seem so overwhelming. But as long as we are taking every precaution we can personally to stay safe, and we know we have God on our side, we can face anything that comes our way. Pray without ceasing for all of us. Be there for each other. Help in whatever way you possibly can while maintaining safety. And look for the opportunities this brings us...even if it’s just the opportunity to pray.
\n\n\nIt takes a lot more than a national emergency and a flat tire to get THIS Girl Camper down!!!
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-03-19T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/03/19/day-three-expect-the-unexpected.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","West Virginia","Courage","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/03/18/keeping-our-distance-day.html", "title": "Keeping our Distance: Day 2", "content_html": "\n“The God of peace will soon crush Satan under your feet. The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you.”
\nRomans 16:20 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/c5f24f5d55.jpg\")
Honestly, our life here at The Ponderosa BCV (before Coronavirus) and ACV (after Coronavirus) isn’t that much different. That’s mainly because we are retired. I think we are affected more by Mr. FixIt’s continued recovery from his stroke than we are the global pandemic. We have been taking turns making breakfast. (He makes the BEST oats!)
\n\n\nUp until late afternoon, West Virginia was official the only state without a confirmed case of COVID-19. Governor Justice announce there has been on confirmed case over in the Eastern Panhandle. However, I have a friend from high school...a retired nurse. She says her son and daughter-in-law tested positive last week in Morgantown and it was never reported. So, who knows what’s really going on.
\n\n\nWest Virginia runs 50th in so many things, it looks like we are running 50th in the number of tests being performed as well. You know it has to be here. All we can to is practice good hygiene and social distancing.
\n\n\nThe garage called today and my truck was ready so we went to pick it up. While it took the guy a week-and-a-half to finish, it cost a third of what it would have at the dealership.
\n\n\nWe watched the news together, but only to hear if there are more directives. I baked a pie with some blackberries from the freezer and made a casserole of pork roast, veggies and noodles. We are determined to eat through all the fresh stuff before it goes bad so we don’t waste a thing.
\n\n\nAfter dessert, I excused myself to write my post. I sat and thought about what we should talk about tonight. Yesterday was St. Patrick’s Day. Mr. Virgo loved St. Patrick’s Day. Just about every year, I had to go buy green food coloring at the last minute so the bar could serve green beer. These memories make me smile. However, Mr. Virgo was buried the day before St. Patrick’s Day. And that always makes me think.
\n\n\nHe warned me before he died that bad things were going to start happening in this country. Things with politics, finances, and health. He said it felt like a rubber band was drawing too tight or like a balloon being overfilled. I don’t know if he had a premonition, or if it was just his love of history and world events that spurred him, but he was constantly telling me to be prepared.
\n\n\nI wanted to believe him, but it seemed so fantastical at the time. Still, his warnings have never left me and I do find myself more prepared than I might have been before. I have friends who have lost spouses in the last year....two in the last week. When I think back over the months after losing Mr. Virgo...it was so terribly difficult to cope. And that was in a stable world. I cannot imagine what these people are going through without their person. To try to navigate this AND actively grieve is an unbearable thought.
\n\n\nIt doesn’t just take a death to trigger grief. You may be grieving the loss of security the COVID-19 virus is bringing to our lives. When things happen beyond our control, it can trigger grief reactions and PTSD. When I begin to feel frightened, I change my focus back to God and remind myself...no matter what happens here, He will never leave me. Even with that, I walk around with a little knot in the pit of my stomach. I take all the unknowns that I have no control over and put them in the God box and set outside the front door.
\n\n\nAll in all, we are doing just fine. We’re just taking it one day at a time.
\n\n\nSo, how are things with you in your world. Are you feeling ok? What are you doing with your time? How have things changed for you in the last couple of weeks? Let me hear from you...tell me how you're doing.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-03-18T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/03/18/keeping-our-distance-day.html", "tags": ["Faith","Health","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Choices","Change","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/03/17/how-a-national-emergency-has.html", "title": "How a National Emergency has Changed our Lives", "content_html": "\n“Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”
\nPhilippians 2:4 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/3d807f85d4.jpg\")
Day One:
\n\n\nSlept in.
\n\n\nRead Bible Study, E-mails, FB, and checked blog.
\n\n\nChecked the weather and news online.
\n\n\nHad coffee and breakfast with Mr. FixIt.
\n\n\nWatched two game shows.
\n\n\nRan to town to get milk & stuff for burgers for dinner. (Hardly anyone in the store. Well stocked.)
\n\n\nDrove to mechanic to check on my truck and get my gun case to bring home.
\n\n\nGot money out of ATM.
\n\n\nVisited with granddaughter and greatgrands.
\n\n\nTook the stitches out of the cat and let her run.
\n\n\nAte a snack.
\n\n\nTook a nap.
\n\n\nFixed supper.
\n\n\nWatched The Voice.
\n\n\nRetired to bedroom to write blog.
\n\n\nIn other words...the national emergency didn’t change much of anything. Yeah, maybe we shouldn’t have visited with the kids, but they haven’t been anywhere but home because she’s a stay-at-home mom with two babies. At this point though...we have no plans for any kind of gathering...large or small.
\n\n\nAfter much discussion, we decided to cancel Girl Camper Camper College this weekend. None of us wanted to, but it was the prudent thing to do. We will gather later when things settle back down.
\n\n\nMy shout out today is to the grocery store workers. When there were crazed crowds fighting over bundles of toilet paper, the workers kept their cool and plugged right along. Even when they were being yelled at for something that is FAR above their pay grade. I’ve seen videos of people fighting over toilet paper and seen customers screaming at grocery clerks and telling them they hope they die from coronavirus.
\n\n\nHere’s something I have learned from years of therapy. There is a very fine line between anger and fear. People jump into herd mentality, their fear begins to amp, they fight for what they perceive they need...in this case toilet paper. Their reptilian brain is telling them they have to be the alpha dog if they’re going to survive. So they grab the rolls of TP from the little old lady and shove it in their already over-filled cart. Angry. Spit flying. Over toilet paper.
\n\n\nThat kind of anger comes from fear. I’ve seen it over and over in my time. Fear comes from being out of control and ill prepared.
\n\n\nI talked to the kids yesterday. I shared what a wonderful opportunity this is to do something amazing that can change the world. This couldn’t have come at a better time. We were beginning to forget what it was really like to be a good human.
\n\n\nLet’s do that...let’s be good humans.
\n\n\nAnd remember how sweet it feels when we get to do that first thing we didn’t get to do for a while.
\n\n\nMay we learn to appreciate what we have.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-03-17T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/03/17/how-a-national-emergency-has.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Anger","Forgiveness","Courage","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/03/16/what-happens-if-nothing-happens.html", "title": "What Happens if Nothing Happens?", "content_html": "\n“Let the elders who rule well be considered worthy of double honor, especially those who labor in preaching and teaching.”
\n1 Timothy 5:17 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/d29ad2fc50.jpg\")
We’ve been listening intently to the news. We’ve followed every story, listened to every nightmarish tale, seen and heard things we wish we’d never seen or heard. We’ve pillaged the stores in a way that would make a Viking proud. We’ve hoarded toilet paper, hand sanitizer, gloves, masks, and cleaners. Our pantries are stocked with everything from diapers to donuts. We’ve got every medicine available for every eventuality. The schools are closed. The stores are cutting back hours to give the staff enough time to restock. The hospitals are rationing supplies and making contingency plans for every possible scenario. And so...we wait.
\n\n\nWe are socially distancing ourselves. We are staying home...away from crowds and germs. We are binge watching every series on Netflix that sparks our interest. We are learning new skills. We are putting away food and reading. We are checking in on those who might need our help. We are watching church online or on television. We are reaching out with phone calls and texts and, dare I say...handwritten letters.
\n\n\nAnd...we wait.
\n\n\nAnd wait some more.
\n\n\nWhat happens if...after we’ve waited and waited and sacrificed and been inconvenienced... What happens if...nothing happens? No big surge of disease. No drastic sudden influx of all these “hundreds of thousands of sick people?”
\n\n\nI’ll tell you what SHOULD happen. We should breathe a HUGE sigh of relief because it means what we did...WORKED. It means we flattened the curve. It means we sacrificed our usual routines and made the most of it and we saved countless lives.
\n\n\nI know there will be a bunch of us who do that very thing. We’ll high five and say “Well done!” We’ll thank everyone in healthcare and the service industries. We will do our best to boost up the mom and pop business that took a hit from the shutdowns. We will praise our health officials who made difficult and unpopular decisions. And hopefully, we’ll remember to thank God for never leaving us in our darkest hours.
\n\n\nIf we have an ounce of forethought...a shred of decency...a touch of humanity we WON’T be that person who stands up and screams that it was all a hoax. That the whole thing was conjured up to throw an election or to make any one person or party look bad. That is petty. We must be better than that.
\n\n\nIf we gain anything...just one tiny thing from this whole meshugas...it’s that we start looking for the humanity in each other again. We need to start finding love and kindness again. We need to remember...we may be different wings, but we’re flying the same bird here. Please, for the love of God...let’s turn something that’s potentially terrible into something that helps us see the divine in each other.
\n\n\nLet’s let the legacy of the coronavirus be compassion.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-03-16T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/03/16/what-happens-if-nothing-happens.html", "tags": ["Faith","Health","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","God","Wisdom","Courage","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/03/15/west-virginia-an-island-in.html", "title": "West Virginia: An Island in a Viral Land", "content_html": "\n“Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.”
\nColossians 3:12-15 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/d56113ec4a.jpg\")
I don’t know if you’ve seen the latest news regarding COVID-19 or not, but West Virginia has the distinction of being the last state without a confirmed case of this viral menace. We hillbillies are sitting over here thinking “Heck, yeah! We’ve been drinking water tainted with C8 all our lives. We’ve been mining coal and have black lung. We cut our teeth on moonshine and coffee. Of COURSE it’s not here!”
\n\n\nYeah, well...not so fast. What that map says is “confirmed” cases. You can’t find a virus if you aren’t getting tested for it and, since West Virginia ranks 50th in most things, it’s only natural we wouldn’t be on the top of the list for getting truckloads of tests delivered. There are other reasons there is a hole in the map.
\n\n\nWest Virginians are a solitary people for the most part. Our “social distancing” is created by hills and hollers and long, winding country roads. And, given the demographics, we are far less likely to participate in overseas travel...or much of any travel, for that matter. Except for the OBX and Myrtle Beach, the average West Virginian may not have traveled more than a couple hundred miles from home in their entire lives.
\n\n\nAnd, let’s be honest here. West Virginia is beautiful, but there is a reason game shows don’t give away trips to the Mountain State. We are mostly rural farmlands and mountains and, while there is a lot to do here, people are not beating a path to our door. I think we kind of like it that way.
\n\n\nThe down side of this is, West Virginia is a poor state. Access to adequate healthcare can be difficult in rural areas. We are high on the obesity and chronic disease charts. Drug use and smoking are rampant. We’re low on the education and the income charts. But, I’ll tell you what we DO have.
\n\n\nWe’ve got grit. Determination. We take care of each other. We pull together in times of trouble. These things go a long way in a crisis. Yesterday, as I was working in the kitchen, it occurred to me...
\n\n\nWe know how to DO stuff. We know how to garden, raise animals, preserve food, build shelter, hunt for food. As my cousin Valerie said yesterday, “I feel like I’ve been training for this my whole life!” She’s right, you know. We have.
\n\n\nI grew up spending a great deal of time at my Grandma’s house. I learned how to can and cook by watching her. I got out of practice when I lived a cushy life in Colorado, but it’s like riding a bicycle...you never forget once you’ve learned. I was working around the house on Friday when my good friend Diane called to say the local grocery store was still well stocked, but at soon as folks from town learned about it, they would descend on it. So if I needed anything, I’d better go.
\n\n\nI’ve still had a few nagging thoughts that maybe we didn’t have quite enough to get by. The unknown factor here is just how long we may have to hunker down. And, what if the elderly people out the road need some soup or something? I really wanted to add a few things to our larder, so I made a quick trip to “the Pig.”
\n\n\nWhen I got home, I finally felt secure that we have what we need. Other than milk, we shouldn’t have to make a trip to the store for 2-3 weeks. That sounds good to me. I bought a couple roasts. I cut one up in cubes and put up ten quarts of vegetable beef soup. That’s always a good thing to have around. I have flour and yeast to bake bread if we need it. I got another large package of hamburger and divided it into portions for the freezer. I saved out enough to make a batch of taco meat. That is great in tacos and on salads and burritos. And, I baked a big pork roast. Just the roast alone will feed us for several days.
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/e8be5f158a.jpg\")
As I ladled the hot soup into jars, I thought of the younger generations. Unless they are raised in the country, they likely have not learned vital survival skills. When I raised my girls, I didn’t teach them these things because we lived in town. I didn’t think they would need to know how to raise and preserve their own food. And, hopefully they won’t. But at least they should know how to if the time should come and their lives depend on it.
\n\n\nI searched the internet for some good resources for those who need/wish to learn basic survival skills. Back when I was an avid reader of Mother Earth News and a wannabe farmer, I lived on two acres and had a huge garden. Here are a couple really good books I depend on when I need to know how to do something. And a website that deals with natural remedies. (Note: These are things I use personally. I am not a physician or an expert in the field of natural remedies. Any decisions to follow any of these recommendations are your own responsibility.)
\n\n\n\n\n\nComplete Book of Home Preserving (400 Delicious and Creative Recipes for Today)
\n\n\n\n\n\nThis is a time of uncertainty. We can succumb to fear, or we can use this as an opportunity to hunker down and get some things done. Do a deep cleaning at home. It’s time for that spring cleaning anyway. Learn a new skill like knitting or quilting or canning. Get in touch with your faith. Meditate. Plow up a garden or prepare some big pots for veggies. Plant seeds in trays to grow your own seedlings for your garden. Paint a room...or two. Clean out that garage or basement. Gather things to be ready to donate them when you venture out again.
\n\n\nI read something yesterday that really hit home. @mattdpearce on Twitter posted:
\n\n\n“I imagine all the closures give people a sense of ominousness. But it’s really an amazing act of social solidarity: We’re sacrificing so we can give nurses, doctors and hospitals a fighting chance. Start from there and hopefully we can figure out the rest.”
\n\n\nIf any of your people are in the medical profession, do whatever you can to help them. Check in on the elderly and infirm. Watch out for your neighbors. Let’s all be good humans.
\n\n\nI know it can be frightening when we feel out of control, so look for the ways you DO have control. Social distancing, self-isolation, and good hand washing. and all these other things I’ve recommended. Let’s flatten the curve!
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-03-15T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/03/15/west-virginia-an-island-in.html", "tags": ["Health","West Virginia","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/03/12/remembrance-day-v.html", "title": "Remembrance Day v.7.0", "content_html": "\n“And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.”
\nPhilippians 4:19 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/81a7ffd661.jpg\")
It’s been a long time since I’ve seen a picture of Mr. Virgo that I haven’t seen before. He was always the one behind the camera and didn’t really care to be in the limelight. One of our friends sent me the photo above earlier this week. She was the Human Resources Director at the Hotel Jerome in Aspen and was responsible for Mr. Virgo getting that job. Which, in turn, brought him to my geographical area. And, into the local “dating pool”. We met on an online dating site. I would say, “If it hadn’t been for her”...but I know who really lined us up and crossed our paths. It was a God thing.
\n\n\nWhen our friend left the Jerome, the staff made her a memory book, took everyone’s photos, then had them write a note. She texted it to me a couple of days ago. There was that element of surprise when I opened the text. I didn’t expect to see his handsome face looking back at me...that bright smile beaming. My instant response was tears welling up, rapidly followed with a warm smile.
\n\n\n“Well, hello there!” I thought. “Fancy seeing you here today.”
\n\n\nI smiled back at that sweet face. Sometimes, in the busyness of this new life, I forget what he looked like. Well, not really...but he doesn’t sit in the front row anymore. He doesn’t quite fade into the crowd either. He is perpetually in the wings...my Guardian Angel...watching over me and Mr. FixIt. I know in my heart of hearts that he is so happy for me. I know he is proud of me for putting this life together.
\n\n\nSeven years gone. I only had him in my life for seven-and-a-half years to begin with. He’s been gone almost as long as I had him. It’s weird. Sometimes it feels like he was just a dream. But he was very real. My heart has healed a great deal in the seven years since Mr. Virgo died. I didn’t ever “get over him”. I learned how to carry his memory with me into this new life. He will be forever sixty-two. And here I am, rapidly approaching sixty-seven. I will age and move on and he will always look like he does in this picture. Handsome, healthy, happy, content. It makes me smile to know I had something to do with that.
\n\n\nThanks for dropping in to see me this week, dear one. It’s been a while since you’ve said hello.
\n\n\nIt’s probably for the best.
\n\n\nBut, oh...I enjoyed the visit.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-03-12T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/03/12/remembrance-day-v.html", "tags": ["Grief","Growth","Comfort","Courage","Aging"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/03/07/theres-poorand-then-theres-poverty.html", "title": "There’s Poor...and Then There’s Poverty", "content_html": "\n“Are they not all ministering spirits sent out to serve for the sake of those who are to inherit salvation?”
\nHebrews 1:14 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/1c417d8c3f.jpg\")
When I say we were poor growing up, compared to others we were doing just fine. Sure, we ate a lot of food from Grandma’s garden in the summers and took the canned jars home that she offered us. We had to make a pound of hamburger feed four...two of them male with hearty appetites. And my dad used to grow a garden on the empty lot out behind our house. I remember we would get half a beef and eat from the freezer for a year. We didn’t have a lot of extras, and we lived in a small, modest house in a clean, safe neighborhood...so we were actually pretty golden.
\n\n\nIt wasn’t like my mom’s upbringing out on the farm in the post-depression poverty of the 1930’s. Grandma once told me, if it hadn’t been for the cow, her family of eight would have starved to death. They grew and canned their own food, had a cow and a couple of pigs, and grew a patch of sorghum for their only sweet...molasses. It was a hard life. Still, five out of the six went to college.
\n\n\nWhen I left West Virginia in 1973, I was a newlywed and just graduated from x-ray school. I headed out into the world with great hopes and joined my husband in England where he was stationed with the Air Force. I couldn’t work overseas without going back to school and we wouldn’t be stationed there long enough to even finish. So, we had a baby instead.
\n\n\nLiving life in the military in the ‘70s wasn’t too bad when you were overseas because you got a stipend for living in a foreign country. When we got back home, though...that was a different story. We were stationed in Colorado where the cost of living has always been higher. We were lucky to get an apartment through HUD housing. It was brand new...had never been lived in. I felt like we were living high on the hog...even when we had nothing more than the barest essentials.
\n\n\nWhen Hubby #1 and I separated, I was still in HUD housing. The only difference was, I started receiving WIC and Food Stamps to supplement the small part-time job. It was hard to get a job when you haven’t worked in your chosen career since school and it’s been two years. I was lucky to find that one.
\n\n\nEventually, things improved. I moved up in my career field, made more money, moved in with a friend and shared expenses. I remarried when Daughter #1 was five years old and Hubby #2 was in medical school. We struggled to make ends meet as I supported us while he was in school. We struggled as he joined his first practice. And then, things got much, much better and we didn’t struggle anymore.
\n\n\nI know I’ve been blessed by that union in many ways. It gave me Daughter #2 and it gave me the ability to buy a house when the marriage ended. When Mr. Virgo came along five years later, we joined our households and life was very good. I haven’t had to make a choice between medicine and food. I lived in a camper for three years after Mr. Virgo died because I WANTED to...not because I HAD to. There’s a big difference there.
\n\n\nOnce I settled back in West Virginia, I saw much more poverty than I remembered growing up. I know ours is not the only state, but there are places here in this beautiful state that are struggling like third world countries struggle. My friend Diane sent me a video tonight that broke my heart. A single mom, trying to raise her kids in WV and what she has to do to bare get by. You can see the video HERE. She is articulate and on point and I think she should run for State Delegate and help fix this.
\n\n\nUnfortunately, poverty is the only “trickle down economics” that is demonstrable. It’s a family disease that gets handed down through the generations and it’s extremely hard to break out of the poverty cycle. I’ve seen it in my own extended family. It’s not the same world where Grandma fed her family with a cow and a garden. There’s an ever widening chasm between the haves and the have nots and it’s our children’s children who will pay the biggest price for it.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-03-07T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/03/07/theres-poorand-then-theres-poverty.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Anger","Fear","Courage","Humbled","Warning","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/02/28/comfort-vs-bravery.html", "title": "Comfort vs. Bravery", "content_html": "\n“\"If your brother becomes poor and cannot maintain himself with you, you shall support him as though he were a stranger and a sojourner, and he shall live with you. Take no interest from him or profit, but fear your God, that your brother may live beside you. You shall not lend him your money at interest, nor give him your food for profit.”
\nLeviticus 25:35-37 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/69648e7763.jpg\")
It’s so easy to slip into the “comfort zone”. Once you’re there, you definitely want to stay. There have been so many times I’ve been yanked out of my comfort zone...kicking and screaming. And every single time, I’ve grown bigger and better because of it.
\n\n\nWhen I was uncomfortably ensconced in a “Behavioral Unit” after the overdose, I went from reading Harry Potter to my daughter at night to harsh lights, loud voices, scary people, and a strictly supervised environment. I remember telling someone I felt like a slug on a hot griddle. The cells in my brain felt like they were sizzling. I was most definitely uncomfortable, but I discovered an inner warrior I had never really known.
\n\n\nWhen Mr. Virgo and I were driving to pick out a camper for our retirement, we basked in the comfort of our loving relationship...holding hands, sharing stories, making plans. When he suffered a massive heart attack and died within three hours, my world crashed and comfort became a foreign concept I wasn’t sure I would ever return to. People said... “You’re so brave!” My response was, “It’s amazing what you can do when you have no other choice.” I became more empathetic and compassionate and confident with time. And infinitely braver.
\n\n\nThen, Mr. FixIt uttered those words.
\n\n\n“There’s something happening here I have to tell you about. I’m feeling numb and tingly on one side.”
\n\n\nInstant discomfort. Fear. Panic. Explosive heart rate. Waves of nausea.
\n\n\nI’d been there before. While not necessarily a frequently visited territory, it WAS in my memory banks and I’d been there before. I knew there was a file card placed somewhere that said, “What to do in an emergency.” I just had to stop and take a deep breath and pull it out.
\n\n\n“Be BRAVE!”
\n\n\nYep, that’s what that card said alright. Think. Think. Think. How do you DO that?
\n\n\nIn my case, after all four steps were successfully accomplished, I moved on to my next step.
\n\n\n5) Excuse yourself from the room and throw up.
\n\n\nOk, four out of five is pretty good, I think. After all, you can throw up and still be brave. In the past, I would have chastised myself for being a weenie. I would have thought of myself as being inadequate...incapable of controlling myself...weak. Absolutely NOT true.
\n\n\nI came out of this with a new appreciation for my body and my mind. I was scared. It’s ok to be scared. I couldn’t control what was happening. It’s ok to be out of control because, in all actuality...I’ve never been IN control of anything outside of myself. And sometimes that doesn’t work like I’d like it to. I was challenged. We all have challenges.
\n\n\nHere’s what I wasn’t...
\n\n\nI wasn’t defeated. I wasn’t weak. I wasn’t incapable. And, I wasn’t alone.
\n\n\nI was brave.
\n\n\nIt’s the same thing I told people after Mr. Virgo passed away. It’s amazing what you can do when you have no other choice. I do, however, have a spike in my blood pressure right now and I’m monitoring that. I haven’t had high blood pressure since Hubby #2 and I split up. Stress does crazy things to your body.
\n\n\nMr. FixIt continues to improve and feel stronger every day. The numbness has reduced to only his left hand. We are hoping it continues to subside. If that’s the worst thing that came of this, we are truly blessed. He’s sleeping well, eating right, getting the rest he needs, and adjusting to his new circumstances.
\n\n\nThis is my “Feel Good Friday” post...because, it’s been a week since his stroke, and we’re feeling pretty darned good right now.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-02-28T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/02/28/comfort-vs-bravery.html", "tags": ["Faith","Overcoming Obstacles","Growth","God","Fear","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/02/24/in-sickness-and-in-health.html", "title": "In Sickness and In Health", "content_html": "\n“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.””
\nDeuteronomy 31:6 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/423dcbe6ee.jpg\")
I take my vows very seriously. To love and cherish. Always. In ALL ways. Nowhere was that more apparent to me than this weekend.
\n\n\nWe are home. There’s no place like home.
\n\n\nWe are exhausted. Living on adrenalin and coffee with very little sleep will do that.
\n\n\nWe are blessed. We know full well this could have been MUCH worse.
\n\n\nWe are disappointed and angry (on a very selfish, base, childish level.) Why did this have to happen to us??? ***stomping foot***
\n\n\nWe are confused. Where did this come from? Mr. FixIt takes exceptionally good care of himself.
\n\n\nWhy us? Which is stupid. Why NOT us?
\n\n\nAnyway, the second MRI with contrast shows Mr. FixIt had a second stroke. We don’t know when the first one was. But there was a time about a year and a half ago that I noticed he was talking like he had a mouth full of marbles. It got better, but he continued to mumble. I wrote it off as colloquialism. They made some changes in his meds. The numbness seems to be leaving, praise God!
\n\n\nWe are looking at it as a wake up call to really start taking care of ourselves. We are far too young to start rocking on the front porch all day. We ARE going to take it easy this week, though.
\n\n\nThank you all so much for your love and support and the hundreds and hundreds of prayers.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-02-24T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/02/24/in-sickness-and-in-health.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","God","Fear","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/02/23/no-luxury-of-losing-it.html", "title": "No Luxury of Losing It", "content_html": "\n“Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”
\nHebrews 4:16 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/5a66ca96ca.jpg\")
First, let me thank you for your prayers Friday night. This one was for us. My sweet Mr. FixIt had a stroke Friday night. It was mild, but concerning enough that he is in the hospital for a couple of nights for tests. My heart was pounding out of my chest and wave after wave of hot flushes rushed over me. Visions of the final trip to the ER with Mr. Virgo had me in a near panic.
\n\n\nI drove, maybe a little fast...but we got to the hospital in record time. It wasn’t the kind of medical emergency you need an ambulance for. He just had some numbness and tingling. It was more “let’s just go in and get this checked out to make sure everything is ok.” When they descended on Mr. FixIt and started all the medical stuff, I excused myself to the ladies room and threw up.
\n\n\nI didn’t have the luxury of losing it. My sweetheart knows these things scare the dickens out of me and he kept asking me if I was ok. I was honest.
\n\n\n“No, not at the moment. But I’m going to be.” I squeezed his hand and offered a brave smile.
\n\n\nI sent out the prayer request. (Thank you SO much for all your prayers!) I wrapped my arms around my sweet husband and prayed for us both. And I began to feel that sense of peace beyond all understanding.
\n\n\nGod didn’t mean for us to do the heavy lifting. He wants us to turn all things over to Him. When I sat there, I thought of all the people I know who have been through so many hard things lately. People I know and love. I took strength from their courageous fights. I felt a Legion of Angels around us from all the prayers.
\n\n\nWe waited, and waited, and waited for a room. Which almost always means we were waiting for the staff in the ER to find a moment between patients to get us upstairs. At one point, I thought if I could just get a blanket for him and turn off the lights, at least he would be able to get some sleep while we waited.
\n\n\nI went out to the desk and the tech said she was just coming to get us and take us to our room. Pretty soon, she came in and apologized. She said she had to go prepare a patient. Those of us who have worked in an ER know what that means. A patient had died and the family needed to come in to see their loved one. She was going to go make them presentable.
\n\n\nI didn’t say anything to Mr. FixIt as she left. I just held his hand a little tighter as my mind wandered to the day I was led in to see Mr. Virgo after they had made him “presentable” for me. I closed my eyes and said a prayer for the family who were about to have that horrible experience. I prayed that the Angels would come and wrap their wings around them and comfort them in their time of great heartbreak.
\n\n\nI patted Mr. FixIt’s hand and said, “It’s ok, babe. Someone else needs her more than we do right now. We’re ok.”
\n\n\nThank you, God. This could have been so much worse.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-02-23T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/02/23/no-luxury-of-losing-it.html", "tags": ["Faith","Health","Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Aging","Widow","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/02/19/the-dragon-slayers-and-the.html", "title": "The Dragon Slayers and The Heroes", "content_html": "\n“Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”
\n1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/efcba4567a.jpg\")
Every day there are dragons to slay. Whether it’s climbing your way up the corporate ladder like an executive or working three jobs waiting tables as a single mom. Slaying dragons isn’t altogether “easy” as this meme intimates, but it makes a valid point. The heroes are the ones who slay the dragons and get up the next day with the intestinal fortitude to put on their armor. THAT is not easy.
\n\n\nTake my Uncle Bud, for instance. He took care of his wonderful wife all through her descent into the netherworld of Alzheimer’s and did it at home. My Aunt Viv was only in the hospital a week or two before she passed. My other aunt, Uncle Bud’s sister, was living with them by this time, on her own journey into dementia. He came home from the funeral and continued to care for his sister...even when she could no long walk on her own and he carried her from room to room. A change is coming there now and he will get some much needed rest before long. He is my hero...the father that I never really had.
\n\n\nThere is my friend, Sean. Her husband Greg came down with a virus...fever and aches. Within two days, he was airlifted and placed in ICU on a ventilator in a medically induced coma. I never found out if it was the flu...but reading Sean’s journal on Caring Bridge have me firmly convinced. She is a hero. She would be the first to tell you it is GREG that’s the hero. He’s had the hard work of healing and coming back.
\n\n\nThere is my friend, Sharon. As an independent woman supporting herself, she worked hard her whole career and was finally forced into retirement by a pretty significant health issue. a chronic illness, surgeries, broken bones...she has done it all and still has an RV that she travels in when she can. She recently sold her house and moved into a new one with less grounds to care for. She is a hero.
\n\n\nThere is my cousin’s daughter who struggled through several pregnancy losses and finally had a baby...a little boy with a hole in his heart. He’s doing fine...but he will have to have surgery. Keeping him healthy, keeping her six year old occupied, caring for a herd of cattle ready to calve anytime, and putting in a greenhouse all at the same time. She gets up every day and puts on her suit of armor and slays the dragons in her life.
\n\n\nThere is a friend of mine...another flu victim with a grim prognosis. Her family stands beside her, praying and hoping and begging for healing. They are slaying dragons right and left...every minute of every day.
\n\n\nWe are ALL dragon slayers. And whether we feel like we are heroes or not, if we get back up every day and love the world and hold up our swords...we are indeed heroes to somebody. For me personally, I let Jesus fight my battle for me...he can hold up a sword like no other!
\n\n\nKeep standing, mama. Keep fighting, dad. Keep working dear ones. You are so loved!
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-02-19T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/02/19/the-dragon-slayers-and-the.html", "tags": ["Faith","Courage","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/02/09/taking-a-stand-against-bullying.html", "title": "Taking a Stand Against Bullying", "content_html": "\n“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.””
\nJoshua 1:9 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/bd0d9ad5b6.jpg\")
Burger King recently released an anti-bullying video and it really hit home for me. It shows a young boy getting picked on in the fast food establishment and very few adults came to his defense. However, when the kitchen staff “bullied” their burgers, there were plenty of people standing up and demanding an un-assaulted sandwich. The dichotomy was remarkable.
\n\n\nI think it would be a rare thing to find someone who has never been a victim of bullying. There is a certain amount of teasing and hazing that goes on that is brushed off as kids figuring it out. And, it’s far too common that childhood teasing becomes a malignancy that spreads and causes great harm. From tender children to endangered seniors, no one seems to be immune from it.
\n\n\nIt needs to stop.
\n\n\nMy earliest memories of bullying came when one of my mom’s cousins babysat my brother and me. I was incessantly tormented by her teenagers and often was bruised...internally as well as visibly. I found it impossible to stand up for myself as I was so small and they were so big. The bullying I experienced at their hands certainly made me more empathetic to others.
\n\n\nIn the summer of my twelfth year, Mom let my brother and me stay home by ourselves while she worked. We were under the watchful eye of neighbors, as we all were back in the early ‘60s with stay-at-home moms in every other house. There was a boy in the home above us who heckled my differently-abled brother on occasion, but never within my hearing. One afternoon, I was carrying laundry out to hang on the line when I heard him teasing my Bubby. Fire went through me and I was out that door like a shot.
\n\n\nI snuck around behind the boy and just as he opened his mouth to call out nasty words about my sweet handicapped brother, I came up behind him and gave him a swift kick in the seat of his pants. He shot out between the hedges and rolled headlong down the bank to the sidewalk below. Bruised and bleeding, he got up and looked around for his attacker. I stood there, all of 70 pounds, hands on my hips and fire in my eyes, glaring down at him...daring him to say anything.
\n\n\nHe called out, “I’m telling my mom!”
\n\n\nI said, “You go right ahead! And if you ever do anything like that again to anyone...ESPECIALLY my brother...you’ll get it twice as hard from me! Do you hear me???”
\n\n\nHe ran off, and no one ever bothered my brother again. I wish I could have stood up for myself so well but for some reason, I never could.
\n\n\nAs an adult, I am always watching for signs of bullying. My older daughter had her mama’s chutzpah and did well at taking up for herself. I don’t recall ever having to step in for her much. But Daughter #2 was a target and I often had to go to the office or talk to a parent when things went too far.
\n\n\nTaking a stand in public with strangers takes a different kind of bravery. In this day and age, you don’t know who’s carrying a weapon or who might become violent if confronted. Still, I stand up to bullies. Mr. FixIt will tell you. I intervene whenever I can.
\n\n\nI’m happy to see more companies stepping up and addressing bullying because in the current state of our country, there seems to be much more bravado in that regard.
\n\n\nEverything boils down to living like Jesus. We cannot tolerate bullying and live like Jesus. I won’t tolerate a bully...I don’t care who it is.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-02-09T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/02/09/taking-a-stand-against-bullying.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/02/07/creating-angels-and-finding-compassion.html", "title": "Creating Angels and Finding Compassion", "content_html": "\n“For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.”
\n2 Timothy 1:7 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/e13eb73d36.jpg\")
The other day on Facebook, my dear friend whom I’ve never met...Uma Girish...posted about CONTROL. She spoke about how we struggle and manipulate and force ourselves and others and justify it to ourselves with statements like “I’m just trying to look out for everyone.” Or “If I don’t do it, no one will.”
\n\n\nUma posits there is a better way. To trust the universe (in which I substitute the name of God and from this point on...I am paraphrasing her words to meet my faith) to manage your life. The energy that creates worlds knows how to handle your world.
\n\n\nHe is not pushy, God. He will not force His way into your life. He waits...ever so patiently...for you to take your hands off and say, “Please, take over.” He waits for you to let go.
\n\n\nWhen you lean back, God has permission to lean in and unleash his magic.
\n\n\nWhere do you need some help in letting go?
\n\n\nThis was my response...
\n\n\n“I have found myself criticizing my sweet husband. We married late in life and it’s hard for me to remember he and I do things differently at times. I am practicing leaning back and learning from him instead of forcing my will on him in an endless, nonproductive power struggle. I pray on this a lot. My husband’s light shines brighter when I don’t try to be the sun.”
\n\n\n\n\n\n\n“My husband’s light shines brighter when I don’t try to be the sun.”
\nGinny McKinney\n
This is so true in any relationship...well, in any interaction, really. You needn’t travel far to see and feel derision in what used to be civil discourse in society. We have reached a new low where we have lost the empathy to see the humanity in others who believe differently than us. Somewhere, somehow, we have gone off the rails and dismissed those with drastically different views as subhuman.
\n\n\nI stumbled across this TED talk last night as I prayed through the ether to “bring me the words”. God always delivers when I let go and ask for His help. This talk was given by a young man who has been the subject of bullying because he is gay. As he was reading the hurtful, ugly comments directed at him, he began to click on the profiles of the bullies and looked at them as humans. Humans who were taught different values than him. Then he did something extraordinary.
\n\n\nHe reached out and called some of them...those whom he felt safe talking to. And they had conversations. He started every conversation with “Why did you write that?” Along the way, he learned much about the other person. He saw some of their own hurts and how those hurts had formed opinions and shaped their worlds.
\n\n\nAs the young man states, “Empathy isn’t endorsement”. It doesn’t mean you are going to pick up the banner of the other and abdicate your own set of values. But what it DOES do is this...it lets you see the humanity in each other and that is something sorely lacking in this Era of Anger.
\n\n\nRight after his video, another began. A lovely British woman “of a certain age” spoke about marriage and how the hurts of the past can drive us in the present. I loved what she had to say about words...how they can heal...how they can kill. This is what we have been studying in “I Declare War” by Levi Lusko in small group from church.
\n\n\nWords. We can create angels with them.
\n\n\nWe’ve hidden behind screens and that has given a false sense of bravado. It has dropped our shield of kindness and empathy. It has unplugged the filter that keeps us from being our best selves. This is nowhere more evident than in the political arena today...on either side. And if this is the example we are setting for future generations, I cannot see that it will improve in any way.
\n\n\nCONTROL. Everyone wants it. Truly...only God can ultimately wield it. Letting go of the illusion of control and seeking kindness, goodness, empathy, love, hope, joy is the only way to live a life that is not driven by toxic stress. When I tune into the wrong speaker, my stress level shoots through the roof. When I search for the information I need to know and leave the rest and take action based on my beliefs, I take the power away from the angry pitchman and put it back into God’s hands where it belongs. And this is what lifts me back up.
\n\n\nI can ill afford to nap away this nightmare. I have to strike a balance between informed citizen and running off screaming into the night. It’s not easy finding that balance, but peace of mind...every little bit I can find...is the only way to preserve my mental health in this day and age.
\n\n\nAnd now...since this is “Feel Good Friday”, I want to share this video with you.
\n\n\nThis demonstrates pure compassion and fills me with hope. Hope. Because, dear ones.....please, please believe me when I tell you....
\n\n\nThere is SUCH goodness in the world. Please, don’t forget that. Please don’t let the media make you think there is not. Just go out and look for it...and build on it. Nurture it and let it grow.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-02-07T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/02/07/creating-angels-and-finding-compassion.html", "tags": ["Grace","Courage","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/02/04/what-really-was-super-about.html", "title": "What Really WAS Super About the Super Bowl", "content_html": "\n“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
\nEphesians 4:32 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/fc1d19267b.jpg\")
I made a dismissive comment yesterday about the Super Bowl halftime show being “stupid”. I didn’t realize at the time what a brouhaha the halftime show was on social media come Monday morning. My comment came mostly because there are so many other things all that money could go to that would benefit so many people in need.
\n\n\nI am not going to get into all the political discourse over the performance because I honestly was snuggling babies and just barely watched any of it. That being said, I do have a little trouble with the whole dichotomy between protesting sexual misconduct and flaunting sexuality in front of millions. I say this as I watched my little great granddaughter “shake her booty” as she watched the screen. The messages we send are being absorbed by little minds.
\n\n\nAside from that, the final minutes of the game were exciting and I loved watching Andy Reid getting dowsed with the celebratory shower of Gatorade. He’s worked long and hard for this and it was wonderful to see him in that moment.
\n\n\nNone of that really interested me. There was one performance that was perhaps overshadowed by all the hoopla and that one was my favorite.
\n\n\nDemi Lovato.
\n\n\nHers is a story of the phoenix rising from the ashes. Her struggle is ongoing and real. And here she was...standing in front of the crowds...in front of millions watching online....once again doing what God made her to do.
\n\n\nSing.
\n\n\nI was so proud for her. I know from personal experience how hard it is to come back from an overdose. The judgement you face. The criticism. The sense of disappointment felt from others. The sense of disappointment in yourself. There are choices you have to make...constantly. It’s a struggle to pull yourself up by the bootstraps. It isn’t easy to lean into God for the help you need to be successful.
\n\n\nSo, yeah...I’m not a big football fan. And I think there’s a lot of wasted money, time, and energy when it comes to the Super Bowl. But my hat’s off to Demi Lovato for showing us how it’s done...with grace and humility.
\n\n\nGod Bless You, Demi.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-02-04T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/02/04/what-really-was-super-about.html", "tags": ["Courage","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/01/22/amazing-gracehow-sweet-the-sound.html", "title": "Amazing Grace...How Sweet the Sound", "content_html": "\n“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.””
\nJoshua 1:9 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/9a35f80ad3.jpg\")
The sweet refrain of this blessed hymn of my youth trickled into my consciousness as I absorbed the words from one of my most special people. She is friend...she is family. She is example...she is mentor. She is confidante...she is touchstone. And now...after months of chemotherapy...she is cancer free!
\n\n\nI burst into tears with the news. I hadn’t realized how hard I was praying for a miracle. I hadn’t realized how much I had been holding my breath.
\n\n\n“I’m cancer free.”
\n\n\nThose are three little words everyone who has gone through this hell lives to hear. God...there are far too many who don’t get to hear them.
\n\n\nI couldn’t be with her to help her as she went through these last months. She had plenty of family support. Her medical care was exceptional. When she was first diagnosed, I asked what I could do for her.
\n\n\n“Just text me and tell me your stories. Give me something to think about other than what I’m going through.”
\n\n\nSo, almost without fail (I can count on one hand how many nights we missed), we met for our evening chats. I told her about my camping trips. I told her about the new babies in the family. We talked about her treatments and how she was feeling but once that was out of the way, out came the stories and pictures....the fall colors, the Christmas tree, the progress on the bathroom.
\n\n\nI went online and searched “Amazing Grace” and this song popped up, sung by Joan Baez. She was driving down the road one day and heard this song on the radio. She pulled over to listen because she knew she needed to record it. “The President Sang Amazing Grace” was written by singer/songwriter Zoe Mulford. She was so moved by President Obama’s eulogy at the Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church, that she wrote the poignant lyrics that captured a nation’s shock and grief of such a senseless act. Even though the circumstances are vastly, vastly different...God’s Grace is the same.
\n\n\nThere are so many prayers that need to be prayed in this world. And...there are so many praises that need to be sung.
\n\n\n“I’m cancer free.”
\n\n\nThank you, Jesus!
\n\n\nAmazing Grace.
\n\n\nYou can hear Joan Baez sing “The President Sang Amazing Grace” here.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-01-22T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/01/22/amazing-gracehow-sweet-the-sound.html", "tags": ["Faith","Grace","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/01/08/finding-my-sea-legs.html", "title": "Finding My Sea Legs", "content_html": "\n“For from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace.”
\nJohn 1:16 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/54125331e9.jpg\")
I know very little about sailing. What I have learned was from a handsome young Mayan boy at a Caribbean resort many years ago. A dear friend had lost her husband after a relatively short struggle with cancer. Three of us decided to take her away after the funeral for a change of scenery. We thought it was a grand idea, and indeed...she took it like a champ. But, none of us had had any experience being a widow at that point and honestly...I have no idea how she did that. But she pulled it off and we all had a grand time.
\n\n\nWe stayed at an all inclusive resort in Cozumel. It was a new resort, and it was travel agent week. The ringleader of this little soirée has a sister who was a travel agent and she got us the most incredible deal. We pulled this thing together quickly and within a matter of four days after the funeral, we were being greeted at the airport by men in crisp white and were handed refreshing wet towels and cool drinks. Our luggage was whisked off and we were treated like royalty for the next few days.
\n\n\nOne of the activities we could experience was sailing a catamaran. I have always had a massive fear of water, but felt somewhat secure with a life jacket. We met at midday for an hour lesson and soon we were zipping back and forth...up and down the coastline. For some reason, I just “got it”. It seemed like second nature to gauge the wind and turn the sail to take us where we wanted to go.
\n\n\nIt wasn’t long till my three friends had become bored and hot and were ready to head back in and do something else. I guided the craft back to shore, but when I let them off, I waved and said I was heading back out. I sailed alone on the Caribbean for the rest of the day and came back in as the sun began to set.
\n\n\nI felt so free...the wind in my hair, the salty sea spray splashing up on my skin keeping me cool. The rudder secure in my hand...let me steer the boat this way and that. I’ve been thinking about that experience a lot this last week. The confidence I felt on that catamaran is far different than the course I am sailing at the moment.
\n\n\nI knew there would be an adjustment phase to cutting back on writing every day here on my blog. But, I didn’t expect to feel so “rudderless”. Writing every day was my way of dropping anchor when the seas of everyday life tossed me about. That hour or so before bedtime was my daily meditation. Without that, I feel a little lost.
\n\n\nOh, don’t get me wrong...my dance card is full. I’m writing like crazy. And, I’m doing lots of other busy and fun things that are keeping me hopping. Mr. FixIt and I met in town for dinner last night. We had no sooner finished till I received a return phone call I had to take and answered several texts that I had been waiting for. All for really cool, fun things coming up that I’ll share soon.
\n\n\nWhen I put my phone away, I took my sweetheart’s hand.
\n\n\n“Thank you for being so patient with me while all this is coming together. I really appreciate it.”
\n\n\nHe smiled and squeezed my hand.
\n\n\n“Do you remember this time last year? I was sitting all day long...every day...knitting washcloths. What on earth happened?”
\n\n\nHe laughed and said, “YOU happened!”
\n\n\nHe’s right. He tells me all the time...”It’s always an adventure with Ginny McKinney!”
\n\n\nMy friend Gail and I are a team. We share the Ohio / West Virginia Girl Camper Chapter. Gail is the Ohio Guide and I am the West Virginia Guide. We run the Chapter’s page on Girl Camper sharing features like “Local Finds” and “My Picks”. We write stories about our experiences, how-to’s, and places we’ve traveled. And, we just joined 99Walks which we’ll be sharing with you. You can find our page here.
\n\n\nThe Girl Camper Chapters are not just about camping. We also share the fun things about our states that we love...great places to stay, play, and dine. We want to make our page a place where anyone can find something enjoyable and we’d love to have you stop in to see it, poke around a little, and tell us what you think. If you can’t find me here every day, you might find me over there. I write on the main page under the tag “Girl Camper Wisdom” and in the articles about the Charity Trailer Raffle.
\n\n\nSome of you have said how much you miss me writing every day. Believe me, I’m missing it too. I’ll try to share past posts on the odd days that I’m not writing a big piece and hopefully that will fill in the blanks a little for both of us. I need this as much as anyone else. it’s become my comfort zone...my soft place to land. That’s not a bad thing to learn about myself.
\n\n\nI hope you are enjoying this odd little stretch of warmth we are having this month here in the east. It’s January and it can change on a dime. If the sun shines, go out midday and walk facing the sun. Air out your house. Drink some tea. Bleach your sheets and your counter tops. It gets rid of some of the germs hanging around in a closed up house. It’s good for what ails ya’, as my grandma used to say.
\n\n\nOh, yes...I almost forgot. We are getting a new great grandson tomorrow!
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n“An intelligent heart acquires knowledge, and the ear of the wise seeks knowledge.”
\n\n\nProverbs 18:15 ESV
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-01-08T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/01/08/finding-my-sea-legs.html", "tags": ["Fun","Courage","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/12/30/when-im-gonean-ode-to.html", "title": "“When I’m Gone”...an Ode to a Decade", "content_html": "\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/03859a810b.jpg\")
I remember the way I felt when the calendar turned from 2013 to 2014. Somehow, in my grief addled mind, I thought it would make things better. It would create distance between Mr. Virgo’s death and....the present. I thought maybe there would be magical power in being able to say “He died LAST year”...as if that space and time would somehow fix this dreadful suffering I was mired in.
\n\n\nBut it didn’t.
\n\n\nThe New Year dawned and the same horrible ache I felt in my heart, the same sense of fear and uncertainty I felt, was still there like a burning coal I could not set down. I think that realization made it even worse because I knew in my heart the only way “out” was “through”. And I was so weary of the pain.
\n\n\nThis is the seventh New Year. I thank God in every way that He carried me through the hell that was acute grief. I thank Him for leading me at every turn and held my forehead all those sleepless nights when all I could do was cry and throw up. I thank Him for bringing me to an excellent grief counselor who listened and knew how to help me with the PTSD brought about by watching the valiant efforts to save Mr. Virgo’s life.
\n\n\nI thank Him for nudging me to pour my heart out on these pages and for giving me the words to do so. I thank Him for opening doors and giving me the courage to walk through them. I thank Him for blessing me with supportive and loving children and family who have stood by me every step of the way...even when I’ve been a pain in the caboose and they roll their eyes at some of my decisions.
\n\n\nAnd, I thank Him for bringing Mr. FixIt into my life, along with a great big bonus family to add to my brood. I am so blessed to have this life and will never take it for granted.
\n\n\nWhen I felt the winds of change blowing me in a new direction in my writing, a thought was formulating in the back of my mind that I couldn’t quite express. I was feeling a certain melancholy and couldn’t figure out why. What was the significance of this New Year over any other? Then, I saw this video and realized...I entered this decade with Mr. Virgo by my side...never dreaming he would be gone in such a short time.
\n\n\nIt’s a big deal to be turning the page on not just a New Year, but on a new decade. The last seven-ish years have been spent healing and growing and learning how to live without him. Then learning how to open my heart wide enough to accept MORE love instead of closing it off for good.
\n\n\nI’m entering new territory here...a decade Mr. Virgo will never experience. When this video popped up on my feed, I watched it and realized, it was released just before he died. It was an anthem I cried over. The lyrics slayed me and brought me much needed emotional release. As I rewatched it before I wrote this, the lyrics took on new meaning for me. In addition to the reminder of my past losses, there is another loss to contend with.
\n\n\nEver since I shared with you my desire to change my writing schedule here on my blog, you have shared with me what this space has meant to you along the way. I cannot close this door completely and just stop altogether. Because I still need this space as much as some of you have indicated you do. I’ve come to know and love you. I’ve cried with you, and prayed with you, and celebrated with you. I don’t know if I can ever express what joy you have brought me. What healing and comfort you shared that eased my broken heart.
\n\n\nWhen I thank God for all He has done for me in this last decade, I thank Him so much for YOU. For giving me this space where we could help each other heal. Lift each other up. To laugh and cry and live and learn with each other.
\n\n\nThank you. Thank you. Thank you.
\n\n\nFor being here and helping me through the worst of times.
\n\n\nAnd here we are...about to head into a new decade! What shall we learn? Where shall we go? What will God reveal to us in this mystical little place called Marshmallow Ranch?
\n\n\n“When I’m Gone” by Joey and Rory Feek
\n\n\nhttps://fbwat.ch/1V3CvhygTPjtgWSw
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n“ ‘Nevertheless, I will bring health and healing to it; I will heal my people and will let them enjoy abundant peace and security.”
\n\n\nJeremiah 33:6 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2019-12-30T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/12/30/when-im-gonean-ode-to.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Growth","God","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/12/18/big-loss-big-growth-big.html", "title": "Big Loss + Big Growth = Big Changes in 2020", "content_html": "\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/8cb02f304b.jpg\")
On March 12, 2013...my world as I knew it came crashing to an end. The future Mr. Virgo and I had planned ended right in front of me in the cold, sterile environment of a Colorado emergency room. Time stopped in that moment and I struggled to do the simplest of tasks...breathing was at the top of the list.
\n\n\nI ever so slowly dragged myself along the jagged shards of grief till I could accomplish simple things like personal hygiene, taking care of paperwork, and eating proper meals. Each tiny step seemed monumental and yet my focus was never much further than the end of my nose. But, hours became days, weeks, months. And finally...years.
\n\n\nWhen I look back on all of that now, I marvel that I survived. I also marvel at this new creation I have become. I am such a different version of myself than I was when Mr. Virgo was alive. I’m not at all sure he would like being married to the me I am now...although I have not a doubt that he would be ever so proud of what I have accomplished in a relatively short time.
\n\n\nRelatively short...if you can call seven Christmases without him “short”. Time is tricky. It seems like yesterday. It seems like eternity. Sometimes, it seems like a dream that I even had him. I’ve learned this is common and it was one of the hardest things to accept. It meant I was growing. Not forgetting...but growing into this new life that I find myself living.
\n\n\nAnd that’s where I’ve come to sit with you today...coffee in hand...to have a little chat. I’ve felt the winds of change whipping around my head for some time now. I’m not one to fear change. As a matter of fact, I embrace it. Good change, anyway. I find myself in a place now where I need to make some good changes. For me. For the people in my life whom I love and love me.
\n\n\nI’ve written every day...almost every single day...for 2,471 days. That’s 6 years, 9 months, and 5 days...in case you’re wondering. I’ve given everything to this project...this Grief Journal...the Documentary of an Ordinary Life. I’ve spoken from my heart with honesty and what I hope was with empathy and grace. And now...I find myself at a crossroads.
\n\n\nOn the day Mr. Virgo died, God threw a pebble in the lake of my life and the ripples have expanded in ever broadening circles...touchIng, crossing, blending with the circles of others. He brought me a companion in Mr. FixIt. With him, God brought me a large extended family that adds to my own in Colorado. More children, grandchildren, and now great grandchildren to love and care for.
\n\n\nHe crossed my path with Janine Pettit who has not only been a dear friend and mentor, but has opened my world to greater opportunities than I could have envisioned. God has answered my prayers when I asked him to “expand my territory”...my circle of influence...to give me even more opportunities to share how He has touched my life. And to share what wisdom I have been graced with.
\n\n\nThere are big projects in the works on a national level which require more and more of my attention. One of which is the new OH-WV Girl Camper Chapter that I share with my dear friend, Gail Bable. We write stories about camping, the things we’ve learned, our favorite picks (parks, equipment, etc.) and local finds. We are essentially Ambassadors for Ohio and West Virginia Tourism as it relates to women travelers...be it camping or otherwise. I also write a series for them called Girl Camper Moments.
\n\n\nThere’s my book, which sits waiting for me to get back to it and breathe life into it so it may be born out into the world. There’s a second book, and a third, and....you get my drift. There’s writing to be done and there are only so many hours in the day in which to do it. I have worked so long and hard on Marshmallow Ranch to let it devolve into anything less than the level of quality you have come to expect...and deserve. This is where the growing pains come in.
\n\n\nI have to make some changes.
\n\n\nIf I want to do what I feel God is calling me to do, then I have to learn to use my time wisely. Just as our finances belong to God and we must be good stewards of what He has entrusted us with, so too is the time He has graced us with in order to accomplish the purpose He has for us in this life. To that end, I have set up a “work schedule” for 2020. I will post here every Wednesday and every Sunday. I will continue “Sunday Evening Prayer Circle” as that has become such a moment of solace for me and for so many others I know. Then I can focus Friday on Girl Camper and turn the writing time I’ve been using into work time on the book.
\n\n\nI do hope you continue to follow along. It may take more work to find me. I'm not sure what Facebook will do to my algorithms if I don't post every day. I will post brief, encouraging photos and quotes frequently. I just won't be writing the long story posts every day we both have become accustomed to. I get as much...if not more...from my writing when I read your kind and encouraging comments. Your loyalty has not been lost on me and I am ever so grateful for all of you.
\n\n\nAnd now, it's.....
\n\n\n2020
\n\n\nIt's all about a new chapter.
\n\n\n20/20
\n\n\nIt’s all about vision.
\n\n\nWith much love and gratitude...
\n\n\nGinny
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n“The seed falling among the thorns refers to someone who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke the word, making it unfruitful. But the seed falling on good soil refers to someone who hears the word and understands it. This is the one who produces a crop, yielding a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown.””
\n\n\nMatthew 13:22-23 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2019-12-18T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/12/18/big-loss-big-growth-big.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Grief","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","God","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Change","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/12/10/love-to-the-rescue.html", "title": "Love to the Rescue", "content_html": "![\"Friends\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/2ca326057b.jpg\")
“One of my besties! Deneene and her sidekick, Griffen the Grey, came for a visit. She’s good for what ails ya!”
I wrote in yesterday’s post about feeling “in the ditch”. I struggled for a few days with grief waves triggered by a traumatic loss in the family. Then, in swept my dear friend Deneene with lots of love and her trusty sidekick, Griffen the Grey. Griff is a nine month old French Bulldog who wriggled his way into my heart when we visited Deneene and her husband Mark in South Carolina this summer.
\nI had been greatly anticipating Deneene’s arrival for the last week and when she walk in the door, all the “holding it all in” released with her big bear hug. I had the gas stove in the family room fired up so it was nice and toasty. And I had the TV on with this really great ten hour YouTube fireplace video running in the background. We have a huge TV because the family room is huge. It used to be a two car garage, so if you want to read the fine print at the bottom of the screen, you need a big TV. When Deneene walked in, she said she could see the fire blazing from the road leading past our house. I was glad no one thought the house was on fire and called 911!
\nWe didn’t stay up too late and talk because my friend is a new grandma and had just spent a week at her daughter’s helping out with the new baby. She was pretty tired so we said goodnight early. Deneene is not a real morning person, so when Mr. FixIt and I woke up at 8:30, I told him to be really quiet so as not to wake her. I forgot that puppies get their mommies up really early and she had been waiting for US to get up and keeping Griffen quiet.
\nWhen I heard them talking in the family room, I quickly dressed and went into the kitchen to cook breakfast. Scratch biscuits with homemade sausage gravy and eggs. OMGosh! It’s been forever since I fixed that and it was SO good. I made Paula Deen’s Cream Biscuits. They are love in the palm of your hand. Look up the recipe. Super easy! And sausage gravy couldn’t be easier to make than mine. Fry a pound of sausage till browned, sprinkle about a third of a cup of flour over it and stir till combined then slowly pour enough milk over it to loosed it up, adding more milk as it cooks, stopping when you get the right consistency.
\nAs we sat and ooohed and ahhhed over the delicacy before us, we slathered butter and local orange blossom honey over the rest of the biscuits till there were just three left. I tucked them in a bag for Deneene to take with her to nibble on the road. Deneene raved over our hospitality and I told her it was the best B&B this side of the Mississippi…and it’s free!
\nWe said our WV goodbye. She announced she should be leaving. We told another story. She said she really should get going. We hugged and talked about when we would get to see one another again. She gathered up her things. I made sure she didn’t forget her biscuits. We walked to the door. We hugged again and declared it had been too long since the last visit and we shouldn’t wait so long next time. She double checked if she had everything. I asked if she needed a bottle of water for the road. She picked up her bags and we had another long hug at the door. As she walked through, we noticed she had set down the biscuits when she put on her coat so we retrieved them for her. If it hadn’t have been raining, we would have walked her to her truck and the goodbye would have lasted another fifteen to twenty minutes. Thus is the nature of goodbyes in the country. It’s a goodbye full of love!
\nI called after her, “Don’t forget to text when you get there!” If it was dusk, I would have said, “Watch for deer!” That’s West Virginian for “I love you!”
\nDeneene honked from the road as she drove by and I waved madly from the front window. And she was gone. My friend whom I helped through her own grief had come and returned the favor. I felt so much better after her visit. I have a big deadline to meet this week so after Deneene left, I packed up and went to the farm where I turned the TV to the same fireplace video. I survived another wave and I’m on to the next thing. Such is the nature of grief. It just gets incorporated into life and you move forward. Thank you for your support yesterday. You have no idea what that means to me. I wish everyone who grieves had cheerleaders like you to support them through their journey.
\n❤️
\n“My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-12-10T02:30:55-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/12/10/love-to-the-rescue.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Fun","West Virginia","The Farm","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/12/09/in-the-ditch.html", "title": "In the Ditch", "content_html": "John 15:12 NIV
![\"Waves](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/ada04f9744.jpg\")
“You never know what will trigger grief…I’m just grateful it doesn’t come nearly as often as it used to.”
Mr. FixIt called yesterday when he was on his way to our granddaughter’s baby shower. There was a wreck on our road. Someone had gone in the ditch, overcorrected, went across the road and ran into an abandoned house. I have to say, that road worries me. Whenever one of us goes to town without the other, we always text when we get there to alleviate the worry.
\nOne of my dearest friends in the whole world stopped at our house yesterday on her way home to South Carolina and spent the night. I was SO excited to see her. I met Deneene through Marshmallow Ranch a couple of years ago. She lost her husband about a year or so before we met and a mutual friend introduced her to my blog. Since she was local, I invited her out for coffee and it was one of those instant life long friendships forged on common ground.
\nBefore Deneene arrived, I baked an apple galette for a sweet treat. But, I have to say…my stomach has been in knots ever since I went to the viewing last Wednesday. I’ve been “in the ditch”. I’ve been to viewings and funerals since Mr. Virgo died. While none of them are easy, the only ones that really hit me hard are the “snatch deaths”…those sudden, unexpected deaths that snatch loved ones in an instant. It stirs up every bit of angst I thought I had put away long ago.
\nWhere I had been the comforter for Deneene when we first met…last night, she became mine. I poured out how fearful I become when a grief wave comes over me now. Fearful…because I tell myself I should be way past this. How can I tell Mr. FixIt about it? Will he walk away from me because he’s “had enough of this”? No, of course not. For one thing, it very rarely happens anymore. For another…he’s not that kind of guy. I should KNOW all this because this is what I do…I comfort others in their grief. I share stories of my own to let others know they aren’t alone. Yet, I tell myself…I should be over this by now, right?
\nMy sweet friend, so gentle and serene, calmly reminded me of what I told her back when we sat over coffee and shared our hearts for over four hours.
\n“There IS no timetable for grief…remember? There IS no rule book. YOU told me that.”
\nYes…indeed. I did tell her that. I tell you that, too. And, I tell you I’ll always speak to you with an open, honest heart and tell you the truth about this grief journey…even when it is uncomfortable or ugly or scary. Even when I’m happily, madly in love and remarried…I am not immune to the waves of grief that rear up against me on occasion. Of COURSE a loss that close to home stirred memories. Why wouldn’t it?
\nWas it a mistake to go to the viewing? I don’t know…maybe. However, I am so glad I was there to support those I love, even if it WAS hard. There are going to be hard things in life. I can’t avoid them.
\nIt’s ok to not be ok for a little bit. It won’t last forever. I’m not buying real estate…I’m just passing through. It’s the holidays and they can be rough for anyone. When I urge you to be gentle with yourselves, I don’t always take the same advice. I so appreciate my friend to remind me…it’s ok.
\n❤️
\n“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-12-09T02:30:08-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/12/09/in-the-ditch.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","God","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Choices","Change","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/12/08/bucket-lists-miracles-making-memories.html", "title": "Bucket Lists \u0026 Miracles \u0026 Making Memories", "content_html": "Psalms 147:3 NIV
![\"Santa](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/e3f266091b.jpg\")
“When being Santa is on your bucket list…”
This is the time of year where Christmas is around every corner. The twinkling lights and bustling shops, the carols and the wonderful aromas wafting from the kitchen…they all bring up memories. And, while there is a plethora of “warm-fuzzy” memories, there are also sad painful memories that show up with the turn of the calendar and the darkening of the days.
\nChristmas was Mr. Virgo’s very favorite holiday. When he worked at the Hotel Jerome in Aspen, he was asked to play Santa one year. You would have thought he was stepping on stage at the Met. He was thrilled…not only to play the role, but to grow out his beard. You often are not allowed to have facial hair when you work in Food & Beverage. This was a treat, all the way around. I know what joy that brought him.
\nOne of my high school friends brought us some devastating news a while back. Her sweet brother, Ed Lowe, was diagnosed with cancer. When they did an in depth work up, they found out it had spread through his body. Ed is a pastor, and he knows where he will go when it is his time. He’s taking advantage of every treatment option and covets the prayers of anyone who will pray for a miracle with him.
\nWith his typical optimism, Ed has set out to work on his bucket list. With Christmas fast approaching, he put his wish out there….to be Santa in our hometown Christmas Parade! Phone calls were made and before you knew it, Ed was being fitted for his Santa suit and got to ride down Market Street on a float…waving and smiling and throwing candy to the children lining the parade route.
\nThese are the happy/sad stories we read about this time of year. This is a memory that will be cherished by so many people, no matter what the outcome of Ed’s health scare may be. I’m telling you this story because I love my friend, Janet. I love her fierce devotion to her brother. And, I am asking you to do something for us. Whenever you see Santa in the coming weeks, please send up a prayer for a special man of God who wants his own Christmas Miracle. Please pray for Ed Lowe…and all the others who need miracles, as well.
\n?❤️????❤️?
\n“Heal me, Lord, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for you are the one I praise.”\n\n \n", "date_published": "2019-12-08T02:30:31-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/12/08/bucket-lists-miracles-making-memories.html", "tags": ["Faith","Health","Family","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Hope","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Wisdom","Courage","Humbled","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/12/05/the-last-hour.html", "title": "The Last Hour", "content_html": "Jeremiah 17:14 NIV
![\"Black](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/9d50c9f127.jpg\")
“Pumpkin Kitty snoozing on her mama.”
We spent the day at home yesterday, watching the hearings, nibbling on Thanksgiving leftovers (namely PIE), and snuggling a healing kitten. She was spayed on Monday and she is doing very well, but she sleeps a lot. I’ve been trying to cuddle her in small doses to acclimate myself to her kitty allergens since she’s in the house for a couple of weeks. I can hold her like this for a while, then I have to hand her off to Mr. FixIt and go wash my face and hands. I have been coughing a little more, and my nose has been a little drippy, but nothing major. We’ll see how this goes. She is so sweet when she sleeps on me and goes all limp and warm.
\nAs the afternoon crept on, it got closer and closer to time to go to the funeral home. OMGosh! I was dreading it more and more with each passing hour. Finally, I told Mr. FixIt to go on without me and if I could, I’d follow along shortly. I needed a little time alone. Finally, I shook myself out of it, got dressed, and drove to town.
\nThis was just a viewing. They are not having a funeral. The family gathered at 4:00 to spend some time with the young man alone. Then the doors were open from 5-8 for the viewing. It was an open casket. We stood in line, we paid our respects to his mother, then went and sat with the family. We visited with people we don’t get to see very often. I was introduced to a few I hadn’t met yet. Then, we sat in quiet contemplation…as one does at such things.
\nIt didn’t take long for my mind to wander back to my own experience at Mr. Virgo’s viewing. My eyes stung as I watched the young man’s mother bravely greet people. A little laugh here…hugs and tears there…lots of deep breaths and sips of water. Boxes of tissues were shared. A chair was brought closer.
\nI looked at my watch. It was 7:00…the last hour. I remember the last hour as if it were yesterday. That’s when the reality hits home that…this is it. This is the last time you’ll see the face of your loved one this side of Heaven. I saw Mr. Virgo at the funeral home the night before the funeral, and I assumed I would see him again in the morning at the church. When I walked in, his casket was at the back of the church…closed with American flag draped over it. And I freaked out. I grabbed my daughter’s arm and said, “I get to see him again, don’t I???” She quickly went to the funeral director and they opened the casket so I could get that one last goodbye. It was brutal.
\nI turned to Mr. FixIt and said, “It’s the last hour. They do not need an audience. We need to go, now.” He didn’t question me…we got our coats, said our goodbyes to the kids and family and left. I can’t say it gets any easier to go to a viewing. But my experience gives me an empathy that I hope the bereaved can feel when I attend.
\n❤️
\n“Taking Jesus’ body, the two of them wrapped it, with the spices, in strips of linen. This was in accordance with Jewish burial customs.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-12-05T02:30:14-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/12/05/the-last-hour.html", "tags": ["Faith","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/12/04/grief-timestill-grief.html", "title": "Grief + Time...Still = Grief", "content_html": "John 19:40 NIV
![\"Grief](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/0987370dc3.jpg\")
“Grief plus time still equals grief. It’s just to varying degrees.”
It is said, “A burdened shared is lightened.” I have found this is usually the case. A heavy load is more easily carried when someone picks up the other end. Mr. FixIt picks up the other end of my grief much of the time. While it isn’t necessarily his job, he helps me through the worst times because he is my partner in all things.
\nThat being said, I totally get how blessed I am to have this man in my life and I know he would keep picking up that other end till the cows came home. All I have to do is ask. That’s precisely why I don’t a lot of the time. It’s a tough job to love a widow. It takes a strong man. I don’t want him to burn out and decide this is more than what he bargained for. Besides, at some point, I had to learn to let Jesus do the heavy lifting for me so I could work on the feelings in my heart.
\nIt has been 2,457 days since Mr. Virgo died. I’ve come light years since those early days when I had zero control over my emotions. I was a slave to the whims of my limbic system. If you go back and read my early writing, you’ll find many nights when I literally grabbed onto the side of the mattress and hung on for dear life. Waves of grief led to oceans of anxiety that threatened to drown me every night. I knew if I could just hang on till the sun came up, it would be better. Eventually, ever so slowly, inch by inch…things got better. That’s why, when I get hit now, it’s fairly predictable and fairly remarkable.
\nTriggers.
\nThere will always be triggers, no matter how long it’s been since your loss.
\nOn Sunday morning, when we got the call about the young man who was killed in the car accident, my heart started racing, my hands were sweating, and my mind started to race. I had my hands full with dinner in various stages of completion. And, while I am not close to the young man, he was close family through Mr. FixIt’s children and grandchildren. I felt it was important to keep moving and get food ready for everyone.
\nI did well all day. I was supportive and listened and hugged everyone. I even told my story about losing Mr. Virgo to the family members who didn’t know me then. But, when I went to bed, I was quickly overwhelmed. My grief comes out through my stomach and I was sick most of the night. Just as it was in the early days, if I’m going to have any trouble with grief, it’s going to be in the long dark hours of the night.
\nFortunately, I have come a long way since those early days. I have learned a lot of tricks to help me get through the rough stuff. I know how to divert my attention by getting up and doing something different rather than lay there in bed mulling things over. Still, there are times when it all catches up with me and I can’t do anything about it. Those are the times I take something for my nausea and anxiety, go into the spare bedroom so as to not disturb my husband. Then, I talk out loud to Jesus until I drift off to sleep. When I wake up the next day, I’m fine and ready to take on the world again.
\nTonight is the visitation. This will be hard. I will do my best to be there and support my bonus family and my husband. But I will not lie…this is not going to be easy for me. What I will tell myself all day tomorrow is…”If you think it’s hard to go to this, imagine his mother. His grandparents. His cousins. His friends. You can do this. It isn’t happening to YOU now.”
\nThat’s the thing you have to convince yourself. It isn’t happening to YOU. Because that’s where your mind takes you. Memory is a cruel mistress.
\n❤️
\n“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-12-04T02:30:15-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/12/04/grief-timestill-grief.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","God","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Aging","Choices","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/12/01/ok-boomer.html", "title": "Ok, Boomer...", "content_html": "John 14:27 NIV
![\"Ok,](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/5c8b3bb365.jpg\")
“Ok, Boomer…terms of derision from a fed up generation.”
I’m a Boomer. Proud of it. And, like most people who are “of a certain age”, I find myself looking at the younger generations with a critical eye. As has happened with each preceding generation, the young people are looking at us like we’re dinosaurs. Out of touch actors that don’t have a clue. The first time I heard the snarky, derisive phrase…”Ok, Boomer”…I was frankly ticked off. How dare they…snot nosed little whippersnappers!
\nOMGosh…yes, I just said that!
\nOur generation came along after WWII during the Cold War when the economy was booming. All we had to do was roll up our sleeves, go to college, get a great job, build houses and buy cars and furniture and toys galore. Not all of us, certainly. I came from a poor home. But there was opportunity that our parents certainly didn’t have.
\nThen, our children came along. The Sesame Street Gen X-ers reaped a lot of the benefits of our hard work. The computer, then the internet, then cell phones…technology boomed and the world became a much smaller place. Then along came Generation Y…the Millennials…my younger daughter’s generation. And Gen Z…the children of Gen Y who know nothing other than the digital age.
\nBoomers often call the younger generations lazy, entitled brats who never had to work for anything…who got a trophy for showing up…who weren’t spanked by their parents and never suffered consequences for their actions. If they are brats, we are to blame. We raised them. Well, us and Dr. Spock.
\nI feel bad for the younger generations. We are leaving them with a terrible debt to pay. We have consistently and continually abused the planet, spent ourselves into oblivion, and we are preparing to ride off into the sunset. My older daughter and her husband are blessed. They bought a home before the bottom fell out of the housing market in 2008. My younger daughter is 29 and this is a far different world she is facing. This generation may never own homes.
\nWhile I don’t like “Ok, Boomer”…I can understand their frustration. They are saddled with immeasurable student loan debt. They can’t get jobs the way we got jobs…not when “Text 12345 to apply” is how you do it. They can’t dress up and knock on doors unannounced. They have to work 2, 3, or more odd jobs. And the jobs nowadays are not providing benefits. These kids have to get roommates to survive. They’ll eat a lifetime of ramen.
\nI worry about the upcoming generations. What will things be like for our great grandchildren? And the great- great- ones that we will never know? We have to become more forward thinking to preserve some sort of life for them. Or, I should say…Gen X-ers will. We can’t say we weren’t warned. I guess “OK, Boomer” isn’t far off the mark, is it?
\n❤️
\n“He decreed statutes for Jacob and established the law in Israel, which he commanded our ancestors to teach their children, so the next generation would know them, even the children yet to be born, and they in turn would tell their children.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-12-01T02:30:54-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/12/01/ok-boomer.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Growth","Courage","Aging","Warning","Choices","Change","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/11/30/when-kindness-matters-most.html", "title": "When Kindness Matters Most", "content_html": "Psalms 78:5-6 NIV
![\"Be](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/915ddf5f24.jpg\")
“Kindness Matters Most…especially when it involves children.”
My dear friend Diane sent me a link to an article in the New York Times yesterday. It was a story about the new mayor of Charleston and how she barked up the wrong tree. It seems, in an effort to be inclusive and considerate of the Muslim and Jewish population in our state’s capital, she decided to rename the Christmas Parade. She announced on a Facebook post that the Winter Parade would be on such and such a date…and thus began a civil uprising. Well, maybe uncivil is a more appropriate description.
\nI understand what she was trying to do. And I appreciate it. Having lived 27 years as a practicing Jew in a small town and watching discrimination at work was an eye opening experience for me. It gave me a much deeper appreciation for what some people go through on a daily basis in this world.
\nThe mayor was attacked from all sides and had very few backers. Part of it was the way she went about it…making a unilateral decision without consulting anyone. But the biggest part was the way the world is now. I could have been a mediator by profession because I can easily see both sides of this issue. People were feeling attacked and that, in the spirit of political correctness, they felt the mayor was trying to steal Christmas. When, in actuality, she was just trying to be kind to everyone in the community.
\nAs I read the comments to the story, several of them were from minorities saying they never felt they were “less than” or “excluded” because of Christmas celebrations. While they didn’t observe the holiday themselves, they never felt threatened by other people celebrating. I remember talking to a Rabbi once and asked him what he would do regarding my children’s participation in these programs. He said “Lip synch the words to the religious songs and belt out the secular ones. There is a lot of beautiful music in the Christian faith. I think it’s very important that we don’t try to dilute anyone’s holiday.” That made a lot of sense to me.
\nThis story brings to mind something that happened to me when I lived in that small mountain town in Colorado. Hubby #2 was a new physician and we had only lived in town a few years. One Christmas, a couple of things came to a head that are very similar to what happened in Charleston this month.
\nFirst, the wife of one of my husband’s colleagues was Jewish and she had two sons in the public grade school. There was no mention in the curriculum of any holidays besides Christian ones. She wanted the children to have a greater world view and asked if she could form an ad hoc committee to explore how to go about broadening the horizons without stepping on anyone’s toes. Even though my younger daughter was only a baby at the time, I knew she would be going to the same school in a few years so I said yes when I was asked to join.
\nWe held meetings with the school board. We offered to provide children’s books for the school library with stories about Chanukah and Passover. We volunteered to come into the classes during story time and share traditional foods of other cultures. And, we asked that the school program in December be renamed the Winter Festival. That’s where we ran into road blocks and it got ugly…fast. Our mayor hung a banner across the Main Street through town claiming that “The heathens are trying to steal Christmas from our children! Don’t let that happen!” Those were the exact words. Heathens.
\nIn the historical context, the word heathen means “an individual or a people that do not acknowledge the God of the Bible; a person who is neither a Jew, Christian, nor Muslim; a pagan.” We certainly were NOT heathens and it was a blatant slur…not the least of the discriminatory experiences I encountered in my years as a member of the Jewish community.
\nOur little mountain town was formed by a large ranching and mining community. There were two black children, a handful of Hispanic children, and no Asians the year my daughter started 7th grade. We had relocated there from Denver where my daughter was in a tri-lingual classroom…English, Spanish, and Vietnamese. Her school was a cross section of humanity and she was dumbfounded by the “white bread” community she found herself living in. Every holiday, a large cross was lit on the top of a mountain within view of the whole town, reminding everyone that that “we celebrate Christmas in this town.”
\nAt the same time the banner went up across the Main Street and the cross was lit on the hill, we found out that the cross was on city property and the electricity was being paid for with tax money. This is where I had a problem. I can educate. I can buy books and bake cookies till the cows come home, but there is a separation of church and state in this country and the founding fathers made it that way on purpose. I believe in honoring that and if I would have been Christian at the time, I still would have believed in that.
\nThen, things shifted in town. It turns out the ACLU got wind of the situation and put the town on notice they would be taken to court if they didn’t make other arrangements for the cross on the hill. A citizen donated a piece of land up higher than the original location, and a new and larger cross was erected. Every year, a collection takes place to pay for the electricity and upkeep of the cross. I was thrilled with that because it was not only even more beautiful than before, it now complied with the law.
\nAs time went on, some things in town got better, but there was still an undercurrent of anti-Semitism. When Daughter #2, who was just a baby when this all went down, was in high school, she was bullied and called a “stupid, effing Jew” among other derogatory comments. I went to the administration but the bullying continued and we finally determined she would be happier at the alternative high school.
\nShe is doing well now. She is 29 and married. But she carries the emotional scars from her experiences. This is why I am sensitive to all people. This is why I don’t want the little Jehovah’s Witness children to have to sit in the cafeteria, ostracized by their peers because of their beliefs. I want the little Jewish children to be included in the holiday extravaganza because they have a holiday to celebrate, too. I don’t want any child to feel left out.
\nI don’t know what the answer is for you. All I know is, I personally know what discrimination feels like. And I know what it feels like to hold your child in your arms when she’s been crushed by bullies. Therefore, I say “Happy Holidays” if I am not sure of the person’s beliefs. I don’t care if someone says Happy Holidays or Merry Christmas to me. I am not insulted. Why would I be? It’s a blessing when someone wishes you well. I’ll take that any day of the week over some of the terrible things people feel free to say to each other these days. Because…kindness matters.
\n❤️
\n#KindnessMatters, #Discrimination, #HappyHolidays
\n“For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But whoever does not have them is nearsighted and blind, forgetting that they have been cleansed from their past sins.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-11-30T02:30:32-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/11/30/when-kindness-matters-most.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","Growth","New Ideas","Grace","Peace","Holiday","Wisdom","Fear","Forgiveness","Courage","Warning","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/11/26/tuesday-truth-when-you-canstep.html", "title": "Tuesday Truth: When You CAN...Step Away", "content_html": "2 Peter 1:5-9 NIV
![\"Meme\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/8c837d2539.jpg\")
“It’s OK to step away!”
Do you have trouble stepping away from toxic relationships? Do you find you are people pleasing yourself into a corner? Are you feeling pressed into doing traditional holiday things even though you would rather not? Or maybe you just can’t face your ____________ (insert relative/friend here) this year…or ANY year? Well, I’m going to do something here…pay very close attention.
\nStep away.
\nIf you need “permission” then, here…I’m giving you permission.
\nHolidays can be especially difficult if you’re grieving. Or if you have underlying health issues. Or, you know…if you happen to be human. If you are over the age of consent, holidays can be much more painful than they are pleasurable.
\nFor the last month, I’ve been really looking forward to going over to my cousin’s house for Thanksgiving. I don’t get to see her nearly often enough and this year it was for a very brief visit last month. I love to go and stay over a couple of days, but circumstances change. There are health issues with some of the older generation over there. Last year we left here early Thanksgiving morning, drove over, discovered my aunt had fallen and she and my uncle couldn’t attend dinner, so Mr. FixIt and I packed up a dinner for them and drove it to his house. This added another hour of driving…each way. Then, after our Thanksgiving meal back at my cousin’s house, we got in the tuck and drove home. It made for a very long day and was not relaxing nor fun even though it was great to see everyone.
\nWhen I returned on Halloween from the six week camping excursion with the rpod and discovered we had a new kitten, everything changed. Now there are no more impromptu trips and I am not up for a drive-by. I took the self-care approach and opted out. Now we can work hard to finish the back bathroom this week and get the sink, toilet, and shower stall out of our living room in time for our family gathering on Sunday.
\nSometimes it’s a sibling. Or an aging parent. You may feel guilty for stepping away, but as I tell you so often, you cannot fill someone else with an empty cup. WE are no good to anyone, including ourselves, if we continue putting ourselves in situations that are toxic and abusive.
\nI know, I know…there are times when you may be the only one that person has. There may be situations where you are a caregiver and there IS no other option. If you feel stuck…it’s ok to look for options. It’s ok to step away and take care of yourself. It’s ok to stay home and eat a hotdog for Thanksgiving if that will give you more peace. Surround yourself with the people who love you and lift you up and celebrate you if that’s what you want to do. But…give yourself permission to stay home if you need to. It’s ok.
\n❤️
\n“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-11-26T02:30:07-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/11/26/tuesday-truth-when-you-canstep.html", "tags": ["Health","Family","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Growth","New Ideas","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Fear","Forgiveness","Courage","Aging","Choices","Change","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/11/25/motivation-monday-kindness-matters.html", "title": "Motivation Monday: Kindness Matters!", "content_html": "1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NIV
![\"Kindness](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/f6bb02f14d.jpg\")
“Just be kind because…kindness matters!”
I miss Mr. Rogers. I want to go see the Tom Hanks movie while it’s in the theater because I need a giant dose of his goodness. I wonder what he would think of our “neighborhood” now? After a week of watching grown a$$ men on national television acting like petulant two years olds (and I’m not choosing sides here…there was all kinds of nasty all the way around)…kindness seems to have left the building.
\nBut has it really gone away completely? Or is it just buried somewhere below the fold because, like sex, all forms of violence sells much more than kindness? I comb the news everyday for the feel-good stories….for the tales of heroes and shining stars. They’re out there…but man, you sure have to look hard for them.
\nLet’s look at some inspiring stories that happened this month. After a scheduling snafu at a Waffle House in Birmingham, Alabama left a young man all alone to man the entire restaurant, kind customers noticed what was happening and jumped in to do everything from wash dishes to wait tables and deliver food. No one made a big deal about it. They just got up and helped…no questions asked.
\nThe manager of a New York Bagel shop got a frantic call from a customer. She left her car keys on the counter of the bagel shop. She had left her car running while she ran in to pick up her order and didn’t miss the keys till she was at her destination several hours away. At that point, she was unable to start her car. The shop manager jumped in his car, took the keys to the customer in Pennsylvania, then turned right around and drove back so he could open the store the next morning.
\nA man with no kids of his own paid off the lunch debt for every child in nine Florida schools.
\nA boss paid off his employee’s mortgage so the Vietnam vet could retire.
\nA hospital in Pittsburgh knitted little cardigans and dressed every baby like Mr. Rogers for World Kindness Day.
\nThere are kind people out there. Please don’t let the nastiness we see color the way we see everyone. One of the most important things I learned from the hearings last week is this…Russia is very, very busy sowing seeds of discord in our country. They want neighbor to turn against neighbor. They are the ones sitting back in glee, watching our country self destruct.
\nI say we fight back. I say we stand up and say enough is enough. When I wasn’t spending every day at the farm anymore, I walked around the perimeter of the property with my grandma’s Bible and proclaimed to the enemy that he had no dominion there to protect the home and property. We can do the same thing for our homes, our cars, our property, our neighborhoods. We can proclaim our boundaries. We can reclaim our lives. We can salvage kindness, and it may not be easy.
\nLook for the helpers. Ask for discernment and watch out for the insidious encroachment of evil in our midst. Stop reacting to everything and ask yourself, “Is this information true? Where/who is it coming from?” I know you can’t put smoke back in a bottle, but we can sure try to raise the kindness titer in this world by spreading it in our own sphere of influence. There IS good…you just have to change your focus and look for it.
\n❤️
\n“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,”\n\n \n", "date_published": "2019-11-25T02:30:55-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/11/25/motivation-monday-kindness-matters.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Positive Energy","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/11/24/refill-your-cup.html", "title": "Refill Your Cup", "content_html": "Galatians 5:22 NIV
![\"Baby](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/744eea5f4e.jpg\")
“You can’t fill someone else with an empty cup.”
I met the Coffee Divas from my high school class yesterday. We try to meet once a month or so but I’ve been gone so much this year, it’s been a little less than that. When I returned from my WV tour in the Girl Camper charity raffle trailer, I was really ready to just be at home for a little bit. I wouldn’t say I was burned out…that sounds so negative and it wasn’t a negative kind of feeling at all. I just missed home and missed my sweet Mr. FixIt and I was ready to just be in one place and not move for a while.
\nThere were eight of us at coffee yesterday. We are all so different…yet so similar. We’ve gone through a lot of the same things…sometimes at the same time…sometimes not. The wonderful thing about being “of a certain age” is our ability to relate to so many different experiences. One of my friends lost her mom a year ago Friday. She’s been experiencing all the things the come with that and I was so happy to see her reaching out as she lifts herself up from that slump we all go through in the year after a significant loss.
\nOne of the gals had never been to one of our coffees. She knew some of us but not all. I never knew her in school, but she knew Mr. FixIt. She is introverted, as so many are. And she was stretching her boundaries to reach out and make new friends. That is not an easy thing to do when you’re sixty-six. We welcomed her with open arms. I watched a change come over her as the two hours passed. When she came in, her shoulders were tense…her eyes searching for a familiar face. By the time she left, her eyes danced and her dazzling smile said she had reached a happy place. Her cup was being filled.
\nAs we chatted about the places we find ourselves on this journey, I told the girls we cannot expect to fill others with an empty cup. We have to get replenished…to drink from the well and be filled ourselves. I told them…it is not selfish to practice self-care. I love that we are there for each other…this variety of women whose singular most common thread is the high school class we graduated from.
\nI feel so much better now after being home a few weeks. I’ve rested. I’m sleeping well. I’ve had lots of hugs from my sweetheart and snuggled my great grandbabies. This week is Thanksgiving. Our plans are fluid. We might go to my cousin’s house. We might just stay home. Our local family Thanksgiving celebration is next Sunday. This is a week for all of us to reflect on the blessings we have…whether we are on the mountain top…or in a dark valley.
\nThis is our time to look for ways to fill up our cups. When I look to God first as my Source, I’m filled with Living Water. When I look to my loved ones second, I’m filled with the blessings He has already given me. As you walk into this week, may you remember to fill your cup first so you can be a fount of inspiration for others. And may you encounter peace and love.
\n❤️
\n“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-11-24T02:30:55-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/11/24/refill-your-cup.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Fun","Growth","Gratitude","Wisdom","Courage","Aging","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/11/20/story-update-little-gwen.html", "title": "Story Update: Little Gwen", "content_html": "Romans 15:13 NIV
![\"Toddler](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/06791b17c2.jpg\")
“We’ve been following Little Gwen since she was born with Arthrogryposis. Look…she’s standing!!!”
Last year I wrote about little Gwen. Her grandma is my friend, Jody who graduated with Daughter #1. Gwen was born with Arthrogryposis. I posted a picture of her back then with her little twisted legs and hands. One knee bent completely backwards and her foot sat in front of her face. Her jaw is severely recessed and because of that, her swallowing is restricted. She has had a feeding tube ever since she was a newborn.
\nGod knew what He was doing when He brought Gwen to her family. I can’t imagine any family any better equipped to handle the severe challenges that lay in front of them. They stand up and deliver the very best for Gwen and are her true champions.
\nGwen has had more than her share of setbacks in her short life with frequent hospitalizations. In spite of the Arthrogryposis, she has come further than anyone could have imagined. She has the best medical team around and has made great strides.
\nHer legs are straight now but she still wears braces to help keep them growing right. Her little feet aren’t moving with the braces like they had hoped so she may need to have surgery to fix them. These are difficult decisions for young parents to make. This surgery may help her feet move into a better position. However, it can also condemn her to wearing braces on her legs the rest of her life. That’s a lot to consider. It isn’t an emergency, so Mom and Dad are getting a second opinion.
\nI wanted to share Gwen’s most recent photo. This picture just warmed my heart. Look at her standing up! I’m so happy for her and her family. They’ve worked so hard to see every little milestone. I know they get discouraged from time to time, but they are the first to get right back up and encourage Gwennie to be her best little self…no matter what life brings her way!
\nWon’t you join me in lifting Gwen and her family up in prayer? Pray that they find the perfect solution for her little feet. Pray that her body gets strong and that illness stays away from her. Pray for strength and courage, joy and peace for her and her entire family. They are a faith-filled family and know where their every blessing comes from. Praises for her accomplishments.
\nWe love you, little Gwen! Keep up the good work and remember, God is with you always!
\n❤️
\n“Then Jesus said to his host, “When you give a luncheon or dinner, do not invite your friends, your brothers or sisters, your relatives, or your rich neighbors; if you do, they may invite you back and so you will be repaid. But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed. Although they cannot repay you, you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.””\n\n", "date_published": "2019-11-20T02:30:01-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/11/20/story-update-little-gwen.html", "tags": ["Faith","Health","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Gratitude","Love","God","Peace","Courage","Choices","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/11/19/healing-and-scars-and-joy.html", "title": "Healing and Scars and Joy", "content_html": "Luke 14:12-14 NIV
![\"Grief](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/04875913bf.jpg\")
“Although grief is never finished, healing can occur and you can use your scars to help others.”
Grief doesn’t run in a straight line. Anything but. We’d love to see the slow and steady climb from that deep, dark valley head right up the side of that mountain to joy. But, unfortunately…it just doesn’t happen that way. Grief runs all skwiggly-skwog…up and down, back and forth, around and around and around.
\nAt first you don’t think you are making any progress at all. You can’t feel anything but pain. You cant see two minutes in front of you. It’s a bloody wonder we survive at all. The world is dark. No color…no sound…and certainly no joy.
\nOne of the things people had the hardest time understanding in my early writing was the “gems in the flames”. I always looked for those gifts God left for me along my path as he led me through the fire. This wasn’t just a Pollyanna attempt to keep my glass half full. This was an exercise in faith knowing that…even in my darkest, most painful moments…my cup was still full to overflowing because Jesus was in that valley with me. Urging me on. Asking me to trust Him and just take one more step.
\nIt’s easy to have faith when things are looking good. When you’re standing on the mountaintop and you’re feeling great, you may even forget to thank God for carrying you through the muck. Or, you might throw a cursory “Thanks!” His way then think “I’ve got this!” No, it’s when you’re down at your lowest…when life is hard and painful and dirty and ugly…and you beg for God to catch you and bring you out of this that you lean in closest.
\nWhen you’re walking the road of grief and things hurt so bad and grieving tears your heart out of your chest, you may very well be tempted to take a shortcut. Circumvent the whole process, push that nasty wad of grief way, way down deep inside and slap a smile on your face. Because, let’s face it…that’s what the world is usually asking you to do. “Aren’t you over this yet?” “You just need to _____________” (fill in the blank with any of a zillion suggestions you receive). The sheer variety of platitudes is mind numbing.
\nOh, you can try to walk around it or climb under it, but one of these days, that bandage is going to come off and you’re going to have to face grief head on and it’s going to be ten times worse than it was before. At least, that’s what happened with me when I tried to date someone way…WAY too soon after Mr. Virgo died.
\nEven four years after Mr. Virgo died and I started dating Mr. Fixit, I was still pretty broken. Fortunately, he has a huge heart and an infinite amount of patience with me. He allowed me to talk it all through with him. He’s a great listener. Then one day, I didn’t feel compelled to talk about it as much and my heart truly started to heal.
\nMr. Virgo came along when I was in a really vulnerable place. I had gone through a particularly difficult and ugly breakup/divorce five years before. And still, for the first year, that man listened oh so patiently as I went though all the gory details and told him every sad and angry story. He saw the potential and he invested in our love.
\nBoth of these men love me with the white hot heat of the sun. Neither relationship would have ever worked had I not already worked through a lot of the pain of grief…both that of divorce and that of death. Those two men I dated between Mr. Virgo’s death and Mr. FixIt’s arrival though? Oy! I bled all over them from wounds they never caused. It wasn’t fair to them. I hate that I was blind and couldn’t see past my own need for a tourniquet.
\nFortunately, I did come to some understanding how unfair it was to another person to try to have a relationship too soon. That’s when I stopped trying to date and started a serious relationship with Jesus. Then…when I was in a much better place…I was ready to open my heart and try again. It isn’t easy. There’s nothing about grief that is easy. And if you are in the throes of it, you will not understand this, but…I’ve come to look at every situation with a level of Joy. Maybe not jump up and down happy-happy joy. But with the Joy of knowing I have a Father in Heaven who loves me and will never, ever leave me. I have Jesus to hang onto when I go through the worst of situations. THAT Joy….that Joy with a capital “J”.
\nThere is Joy in the scars because you have the opportunity to share your story with others. You have the opportunity to reach back to others coming behind you who are trying to find their footing in their pain. Your scars give you the freedom to love others. Your scars give you validity. They show others they aren’t alone. And when you can be there for another who hurts like you once hurt, you give the greatest gift possible. Empathy.
\nYou don’t have to have flowery words. You don’t have to offer Hallmark phrases. You can give a hug, sit quietly, or just be honest and say, “Whew…I don’t know what to say, but I’m here for you.” It’s isn’t easy to be there for someone who’s in pain, but it is so fulfilling to know you can somehow help another human being when they’re hurting.
\nBeing vulnerable. Being available. Being open and honest. That is where I find my Joy in grief.
\n❤️
\n“Lord my God, I called to you for help, and you healed me.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-11-19T02:30:14-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/11/19/healing-and-scars-and-joy.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Growth","God","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/11/16/good-fences-make-good-neighbors.html", "title": "Good Fences Make Good Neighbors: Setting and Keeping Boundaries", "content_html": "Psalms 30:2 NIV
![\"Fence\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/7fc7e48aa5.jpg\")
“Setting boundaries is like building a good fence. It keeps life neat and tidy.”
Growing up in a dysfunctional home in the ‘50s and ‘60s with an alcoholic father taught me a lot of things. But how to set and keep boundaries was not one of them. Heck, I didn’t have a clue what the term meant. My family of origin was so codependent, there was very little demarcation between where I ended and where others started.
\nThis carried into my adult relationships. I married men who were equally codependent and it nearly killed me. After Hubby #2 and I split up, I bought Melody Beattie’s book…Codependent No More. It was eye opening. I will never forget the day I drew the line in the sand, creating a kind of demilitarized zone between us. The look on his face was “shock and awe”.
\nThat was the day I began to own myself. I set clear boundaries and expectations. I demanded respect because, for the first time in my life, I felt true self respect. It was liberating. As I’ve gotten older, there are some boundaries set in stone, but others have become a little more flexible offering some give and take while still keeping the searchlights on the perimeter.
\nI was watching the hearings yesterday for the Impeachment Inquiry. I was impressed at the poise and dignity shown by the former U.S. ambassador, Marie Yovanovitch. She never lost her cool. She answered with the aplomb one would expect from a seasoned diplomat. That is, until one of the female panel members (I’m sorry, I cannot remember her name) started a line of questioning that got personal.
\nHer question…how did this affect you…elicited a guarded response. “I am a very private person, but…well, it’s been difficult.”
\n“How has this affected your family?”
\nWomen recognize the look on the ambassador’s face. She was crumbling behind that mask. Then, instead of capitulating and answering, she said, “I’d really rather not answer that…” immediately followed with a sincere, “but, thank you for asking.” That’s a boundary. I know it sounds condescending, but I felt so proud of her in that moment.
\nWomen are programmed from a very young age that it isn’t polite not to answer someone’s question. That’s ridiculous. Just because someone asks does NOT mean you need to answer. This boundary can come in very handy when you are a widow. You can say no. You can change your mind. What sounded great three weeks ago may not work when it comes down to going. It’s ok to say no. It’s ok to change your mind.
\nI was talking with Daughter #1 last night. She was telling me about Big being on two swim teams…the competitive club team and her high school team. The new high school coach wants all the team members to come to swim practice all the time. So does the club coach. My granddaughter is all of 15 and she has set boundaries for what she can and cannot achieve. They need her because she’s good. She isn’t being a prima dona about it…she just knows her limitations. The coach tried a threatening tactic. “If you don’t come to all the practices, you won’t letter.” “That’s ok I just want to swim with my friends and be on the team I already lettered for swimming .” As a matter of fact, she’s lettered in swimming and academics (STEM) and has been inducted in the National Honor Society. Yeah, she’s good without the threats.
\nIt warmed my heart to hear how my daughter stood up for and respected her own daughter’s boundaries. This is how we raise healthy young women to be strong and stand up for themselves. Because today it’s the swim team. Tomorrow it’s the college professors or coaches or football players. She needs to be able to set and keep boundaries for her own health and safety.
\nMaking and keeping boundaries was a new life skill that I didn’t learn until I was in my 50’s. Now I’m at the point where I relish the opportunities to help younger people establish this skill in their own lives. It’s not only valuable, it’s absolutely necessary to protect your mental and physical self.
\n❤️
\n“Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else, for each one should carry their own load.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-11-16T02:30:26-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/11/16/good-fences-make-good-neighbors.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Growth","Wisdom","Courage","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/11/06/safety-on-the-road.html", "title": "Safety on the Road", "content_html": "Galatians 6:4-5 NIV
![\"Camping](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/2dd8cdc79c.jpg\")
“Being safe in the woods means staying aware of your surroundings and listening to your gut.”
There were only two times on this last trip that my antennae went up as I paid close attention to what was happening around me. The first time was when I was at Calhoun County Park trying to see a meteor shower. This park only has eight campsites in the first place. And I was there in the middle of the week after school started so there was no one up there camping. There were people in the community building both evenings but they didn’t come over near me.
\nSometime after dark on the second night, a car drove slowly by my camper out to the end of the park and stayed there for about ten minutes. I turned off all the lights in the camper and peeked out from behind the blinds. The car came back and just drove right on by without slowing down, so the tension in my shoulders eased. Mr. FixIt told me he very nearly came out to camp with me out there but he resisted the urge.
\nThe second time I was even remotely concerned was at the last campground I stayed. Twin Falls is stunningly beautiful, as you can tell by the photos I took. But the campground itself is located on the very top of a long and winding mountain, pretty far away from the main park buildings. At this time of year, the campground office and store is closed and there wasn’t a campground host.
\nOn the first night, I read the story about the couple who were boondocking on South Padre Island and went missing. Then surveillance video showed a man and woman, not the owners, driving the truck and camper across the border into Mexico. They were later found buried in shallow graves on the beach. This freaked me out, I will not lie. The next evening, the man who was camping over on the next row walked through the woods between us to come talk to me when I pulled in after spending time at the lodge, writing.
\nHe told me he had tried to flag down the park worker who had just driven through the campground on a side-by-side but couldn’t catch his attention. He also said he didn’t have a phone so he couldn’t call anyone. He told me someone had come to the bath house earlier in the afternoon and their car was there for a couple of hours. After they had gone, this man went over to the bath house and someone had smeared feces all over one of the stalls in the men’s room.
\nOk, that was creepy, but the man seemed harmless enough. After all, he introduced himself by name. And I know stuff happens in campgrounds. I know how to handle myself and to watch what’s going on. I told him I would let someone at the park office know what had happened and he was grateful. As he turned to leave, he swung back around with a big smile and said, “I suppose you saw me all over the news last night!”
\nUm…no, I did not. I thought to myself…what did you do that put you on the news?
\nI swung the door of my truck closed. Then he proceeded to tell me he rode his bicycle all the way from California to look for the father he never knew. Apparently the news had followed him across the country on his quest. I wished him luck finding his dad and I went to tell someone about the men’s room.
\nThat was the night when the truck started making a grinding noise and the first thing that went through my head was “What do I do if I get stuck here? What if the bathroom vandal came back? What if “Bicycle Man” wanted to get friendly?” My imagination started to get the better of me and I had to pray myself to peace. And ask my gal pals to pray for me as well. And, I texted Mr. FixIt to come “help me check out this truck”.
\nI wasn’t really scared. But I was leery. And I was tired and a little road weary after six weeks of camping. It didn’t hurt a bit to get my strong, capable husband to come help me out and be my encourager. He told me he ran into one of my friends at the mall that week. She had been reading about my journey and she told Mr. FixIt she didn’t think she could do that and didn’t I get scared?
\n“Nope! She’s the bravest woman I know!”
\nKnowing he feels that way about me, and that he worries but lets me have my lead, makes me feel wonderful. I have spoken with my closest friends about this….I could never, EVER have done what I’m doing while I was married to Mr. Virgo. Not only did I lack the self confidence, but he would NOT have liked me being gone. He didn’t like me being gone for the weekend to Denver to see the kids. He wouldn’t have stood for me being gone the majority of six weeks. As a matter of fact, when we first started dating, he said he wasn’t interested in dating someone who wanted to spend much time apart.
\nMr. Virgo liked me being right there with him. When he watched TV, he liked me to watch TV with him. He didn’t like it if I was on the computer or the iPad or the phone either. Because, he wanted to discuss the show with me during the commercials. I did these things because I loved him, not because I loved watching TV. When you’re married, you do things sometimes that you don’t particularly enjoy. It’s called compromise.
\nMr. FixIt came into my life when I was a free-spirited, independent, remote-camping gypsy who spends long hours writing. He knew what he was getting and gives me space to grow and spread my wings. That’s one of the things I love about him. I make it up to him by traveling and going to the beach and never saying a word about his bowling two nights a week. I cook him yummy meals and take him camping whenever I can. We treat each other with respect, honoring each other’s interests, and we have a lot of fun together.
\nIt’s a win-win for us both.
\n❤️
\n“However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”\n\n \n", "date_published": "2019-11-06T02:30:14-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/11/06/safety-on-the-road.html", "tags": ["Faith","Overcoming Obstacles","Camping","West Virginia","Growth","goRVing","Wisdom","Courage","Warning","Choices","Widow","Road Trip","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/11/04/does-time-heal-all-wounds.html", "title": "Does Time Heal All Wounds?", "content_html": "Ephesians 5:33 NIV
![\"Time\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/4c33d304c7.jpg\")
“Does time heal all my wounds? Not in my time…but in God’s time.”
I’ve been struggling a little with re-entry. The rhythm of the road is different than that at home and I always have a bit of a hard time adjusting. It’s a little like the let down after the holidays…you know, when you have to get back to reality. Not that it’s a bad thing. It’s just always a little sad when the party is over.
\nYesterday morning I woke up at what seemed like a reasonable time with the time change. As I stretched and thanked God for letting me open my eyes to face another day, I went through my morning inventory. I noticed I felt a little down so I searched around in my mind as to what might be going on beyond the normal re-entry slump.
\nThen it came back to me. I was having a dream when I awoke. In my dream, I was sitting at a desk, going through my calendar, and realized it had been over six-and-a-half years since I had spoken with Mr. Virgo. In the dream, he hadn’t died…I had just seemed to have lost contact with him. I was really confused, like…did I go someplace and forget him? Did I tell him I’d call him when I got there and then just…didn’t? If that was the case, then why hadn’t he tried to contact me? What on earth was keeping him so tied up that he couldn’t find the time to text or call me? Then, of course, I woke up. And reality is reality. He is gone. I am here and happily married to Mr. FixIt. So, why did I have such a dream?
\nThere aren’t answers to that, really. I believe it was Freud who said, “a cigar is sometimes just a cigar”. There’s no reason to psychoanalyze every little thing. We have dreams. Things happen. Life moves with its own rhythm. Still, dreams like that can stir something deeper and create a ripple in the force.
\nThe day went on and was lovely. Church, breakfast, errands, a nice Sunday afternoon snooze. Then, I went into the bedroom for something and had that old familiar urge to call my mom. I always called her on Sunday evenings. I miss those calls and it made my heart ache a little. Then I thought of my kids and how busy they are and they don’t call me on Sunday evenings and…
\nThat particular snowball had to stop right there. It doesn’t do any good to go down that road and make myself miserable over things I have no control over. There are wounds that heal with time. They become so small they don’t even leave a scar. There are wounds that heal and leave visible scars. Then there are those that not only have the scars, but also have varying degrees of pain. Like the phantom pain of a leg long gone or a throbbing knee when it rains.
\nGrief and time. I see them like those models of DNA. A twisted ladder, connected and spiraling. Never really finished. Never quite tangible. Always affected by our emotional temperature. No…time doesn’t heal all wounds. But, God does. When I remember to stop trying to handle hot coals with my bare hands and give them to my Father to carry, my wounds are bound up. It’s just the remembering to turn them over that trips me up every time.
\n❤️
\n“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-11-04T02:30:36-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/11/04/does-time-heal-all-wounds.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Growth","Comfort","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Change","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/11/02/meetpumpkin-the-kitten.html", "title": "Meet.....Pumpkin, the Kitten!", "content_html": "Psalms 147:3 NIV
![\"Black](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/5a8e2b01a9.jpg\")
“Kitty has an appropriate Halloween name…Pumpkin!”
I hit the ground running yesterday. The first order of business was to haul the camper to the nearest dump station…a lovely fifty-four mile round trip drive out to and up the interstate and back. When I woke up at 8:00, it was a whopping 36 degrees. Two hours later, when I was finally hooked up and ready to go, it was all the way up to 37! Ohhhhh, I really wasn’t looking forward to that, but it had to be done. Last night’s overnight low was predicted to get down to 27 and stay there for four hours. That’s when you get freezing and possible damage to water lines in a camper.
\nThe only way I have ever winterized a camper was to run pink RV antifreeze through the lines. But this camper is different. I looked it up on YouTube and it said to open the drains, dump the tanks, pour some antifreeze in the wastewater tanks to keep any residual from freezing, and take out the element in the hot water heater. Then, you go around and turn on each faucet, one at a time, and turn on the water pump. Any residual water left inside should drain out through the low water drain. It worked like a charm! But, man…I was chilled to the bone when I was done.
\nI pulled the camper back home and unhooked, fully expecting to head back to town and run errands on my list that’s a mile long. As I sat in the truck, I took inventory. Have you ever had to sit yourself down and give yourself a stern talking to? Well, that was me yesterday. I was feeling overwhelmed by the expectations I was placing on myself. No one else was telling, or even asking, me to get everything done. I counted up what I had already accomplished. I looked at the list to see what I could do alone, and what I would need Mr. FixIt’s help with. I checked off the list of phone calls I had already made. Then I took a physical inventory. My shoulders and neck were so tense and tight, I was getting a headache. My body was just…tired. So…I gave myself permission to kick back for the rest of the day.
\nI got out of the truck and the little black kitten came running and rubbed against my legs. I reached down and picked it up and really gave it a good once-over. Well, except for checking the nether regions. It still just didn’t occur to me to look. I was more interested in testing the kitten’s demeanor. One of the tests you do with puppies is to cradle them in your arm on their backs to see if they trust you. An alpha won’t have anything to do with that. And that may be a more stubborn, if not aggressive, animal. I didn’t know if it worked with cats, but this little baby let me roll it over and snuggle and scratch it all over. It purred like an Evinrude motor on a power boat. It head butts you to snuggle face to face and taps you very gently on the face. What a precious baby!
\nI held it up to look face to face.
\n“What is your name, little one? Hmmm? Is it…Spooky? You’re a black little who came to me on Halloween. It should be a festive name to commemorate the holiday. How about Snickers? You’re pretty sweet, and that’s my favorite Halloween candy. Someone suggested Ash or Asher, but I don’t know whether you’re a boy or girl. They thought Boo was cute, but that’s what we call our little Boone, now isn’t it.”
\nBy this time, I was at the bay doors on the pole building. There is an old kitchen stool there and Mr. FixIt put a couple of our pumpkins on it. I plopped the kitten down and took a picture. I looked up from the camera app on my iPhone and smiled.
\n“Pumpkin! THAT’S your name, isn’t it?!?! I knew if I listened close enough, you’d tell me, you sweet little snuggle-bug.” I picked up the kitty and was again serenade with that mystical sound of purring. Now that the kitten has a name, Pumpkin just rolls off my tongue. So sweet, so simple. Such simple pleasures found in a sweet kitten. I had forgotten. The last time I had a kitten this size, I was in 9th grade and I talked my mom into letting me have a little orange marmalade kitten from my friend Sharon’s cat.
\nI gave the kitten a little more snuggle time and then went in to stretch out and read till Mr. FixIt came home. My nose was running like a sugar tree from handling the cat, but I wasn’t wheezing. That was a good sign. I washed my hands well, and was careful not to touch my face or eyes. I’m definitely allergic, but we’ll see how much of this I can get away with. Because this feels like something I didn’t even know I needed. Kittens are good medicine.
\nI have an appointment Tuesday for a checkup and shots. We’ll see how old Pumpkin is and when we can get him/her fixed. Today I will fix a winter box with a pet safe heating pad in it. I had those for the cats out at the farm. I’ll also get a heated water dish. The kitten seems to really like the safety of the building. We won’t have any mice in there anymore once this one gets big enough to catch them. And, there isn’t any poison in there. It’s a good, clean, safe place to sleep all cozy warm in a kitty condo. When we are home, the kitten is glued to us so…I think we’ve got this!
\nOh, and I slept in the house for the first time in a month last night. I feel like I’m in prison after the freedom of the road. It’ll take time to acclimate, but last night’s low of 27 drove me back inside. In the meantime, I am filled with wonderful memories of the latest “Great Adventure”!
\n❤️
\n“You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-11-02T01:30:07-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/11/02/meetpumpkin-the-kitten.html", "tags": ["Family","Positive Energy","Fun","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Love","Peace","Courage","Presence","Choices","Change","The Cats","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/10/30/premonitions-and-pioneers.html", "title": "Premonitions and Pioneers", "content_html": "Isaiah 55:12 NIV
![\"Pioneer](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/65a0ff50d4.jpg\")
‘Visiting a Pioneer Farm is a step back in time.”
Yesterday was a strange day from the get go. I woke up at 3:30 in the morning knowing something wasn’t right. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but I had an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach. After determining I hadn’t eaten anything that would cause such a feeling, I got up, wrapped my camp jacket around me and stepped outside to look at the stars. The sky was crystal clear and the stars looked so close you could just reach up and touch them. I stood there for awhile in my bare feet letting the energy from the earth seep up through my body. When I was sufficiently chilled, literally and figuratively, I went back to bed. But I couldn’t get back to sleep until dawn.
\nI finally woke up at around 10:00…absolutely unheard of for me these days. I’m usually awake with the chickens. I stumbled around, did my morning toilette, then dressed and cleaned the camper. Finally around 11:30, I packed up my writing implements and headed for the lodge and good WiFi. I created a movie of the best photos I’d taken on this WV tour and wrote till about 3:00 in the afternoon.
\nI headed to the Pioneer Farm that’s on the back of the park property. This farm was abandoned for a long time, but people were always vandalizing it so now there is a farmer and his family living here. There was no one home when I was there so I wandered around taking pictures and marveling at its timeless beauty. I sat for a while and watched two horses and a donkey browse on the sparse grass in the meadow and felt more peaceful than I had most of the day.
\nOn my way back to the campground, I stopped at the Nature Center and introduced myself to the Naturalist. Tammy is a cat bird. She has a coal country drawl that put me in mind of the Deep South but she assured me she was born and raised within a stone’s throw of the park. She apologized that she had recently let all the critters go. She normally traps possums and raccoons, tags them, and keeps them in the Nature Center for a few weeks to teach people about them. Then she sends them back off into the wild to track their whereabouts and traps another one to tag.
\nTammy wasn’t originally hired to be a Park Naturalist. She was supposed to be a campground attendant. She doesn’t have a degree in biology, but she has a knack for nature…two and four legged. She was taking campers for nature hikes when the Park Administrators saw they had a gem in Tammy and told her she should apply for the Naturalist position. And the rest is history. She was a delight to talk with. She smiled as I left and called after me…”Put me in your book!” You bet I will, Tammy!
\nAs I was pulling back into the campground, it happened. There was a low grinding noise coming from my truck and I knew that is where my uneasiness was coming from. Something hasn’t been quite right with the truck for a couple of days but I just couldn’t discern exactly what was troubling me. A sound, maybe? A smell, perhaps? Whatever it was, I kept shifting it to the back of my mind…yet still monitored the situation.
\nWhen I heard that noise, I knew there was something mechanically wrong with the truck. And that puts me in an uncomfortable position. First, I am here alone. There are two other campers in all of the campground and I am grateful for them. But they aren’t going to help me in this situation. I do not like being in a situation I cannot get out of quickly. It stems from being trapped in a garage as a young child and sexually assaulted. To say I have control issues is putting it mildly.
\nI went into the camper and made myself sit down and think. What I wanted to do was hook up the camper and get out of here, but of course…that wasn’t the right thing to do. I texted Mr. FixIt but I knew he was working and his phone would be in the truck. Then I texted my besties, Janine and Gail, and asked them to pray that I would calm down and everything would work out. Within minutes I felt much better and realized this whole thing is an adventure and an educational opportunity, so why not make the most of it!
\nMr. FixIt called me a few hours later and he’s going to drive down this morning. He’ll check out my truck. We can tow the camper with his truck. And, either he’ll follow me to a mechanic or we’ll have the truck towed. That’s what I have AAA Plus for. We’ll go home tomorrow. I am so grateful for my friends who pray for me. And I am exceedingly grateful for a wonderful husband who takes good care of me. Wouldn’t you know it would happen at the last park on the last day? But I’m exactly where I should be. I have everything I need right here and I can get some work done while I wait. Thank God I wasn’t pulling the camper up the side of the mountain with no cell service!
\n❤️
\n“And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-10-30T01:30:07-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/10/30/premonitions-and-pioneers.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Travel","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Camping","West Virginia","Gratitude","Grace","God","Courage","Warning","Girl Camper","Girl Campers","Choices","Change","Road Trip","Chasing the Sun - Girl Camper Road Trip"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/10/24/less-is-more.html", "title": "Less is More", "content_html": "Philippians 4:19 NIV
![\"Muck](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/235e1396c6.jpg\")
“My favorite boots.”
Ok…you all know me. You know I have something to say about…you know, everything. I’ve been known to turn a phrase. I’ve been able to paint pictures with my words. It’s not me…it’s all God. But, as I sat down last night to write this post, I was at a total loss for words. Yesterday was just about the most beautiful day I have ever seen and I didn’t have anyone to share it with. Not in real time, anyway. Mr. FixIt is still at home, picking pears and cleaning out the last of the garden. And there’s all of you. And Kaye and her fella, “Not John Hancock” (sorry, I’ve forgotten his first name but it’s definitely NOT John). I met them on a hike in Beartown State Park.
\nI just spent the whole day yesterday gobsmacked at every turn. It started when I awoke before dawn and saw the fog settling in on the river. I jumped up in the dark, threw on my camp clothes and muck boots, and headed down the road in the campground. I got down on the riverbank and waited. I’ve learned to wait patiently for the light. There’s a moment…just a fleeting moment, when the light is perfect and the color is perfect and the subject is perfect. It happens every day…but most of the time, we aren’t there to catch it. Or we aren’t paying attention.
\nIf you blink, you can miss it….that one perfect shot. That one picture that says “WOW”. You can take 500 shots and have one, if you’re lucky. Or, you can take 500 shots and have SO many that just knock your socks off and you can’t choose. Some I need to keep aside for the project I’m working on. And some, while I would love to share them with you today, are just too big and the internet here at the campground won’t handle it. You’ll have to wait.
\nSo, I chose this one. I was standing by the river, waiting for the perfect light, when I looked down and saw this colorful array of leaves around my feet. Simple. Yet it says so much. These feet have carried me for sixty-six years now. They’ve run and jumped, danced and snuggled. They’ve kicked and stomped and run away from so many things. But this day…this day they stood…patiently waiting for the perfect light. In a pair of boots that my Aunt Peeps gave me years ago. They are one of my most prized possessions. Rugged. Sturdy. Utilitarian. And practical on a wet, foggy morning on a riverbank.
\nThese boots symbolize where I am in my life. I’m comfortable. Happy in my own skin, just for the sake of being happy. There’s something to be said for that kind of simplicity. And for knowing when less is more.
\n❤️
\n“For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”\nMatthew 6:21 ESV\n", "date_published": "2019-10-24T04:10:38-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/10/24/less-is-more.html", "tags": ["Travel","Uplifting Stories","Camping","Fun","West Virginia","Gratitude","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Presence","Girl Camper","Girl Campers","Choices","Be Joyful!","Chasing the Sun - Girl Camper Road Trip"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/10/17/what-a-difference-a-day.html", "title": "What a Difference a Day Makes!", "content_html": "
![\"Fall](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/990e81d0bb.jpg\")
“One day sunny and warm, the next day blustery and cold. Still…a day camping is better than anything else!”
When I arrived at Stonewall Jackson Resort Campground on Wednesday, it was a lovely, warm day. This campground is decidedly different from Cedar Creek. Where Cedar Creek was more rustic and filled with nature, trees, deer, squirrels, and all manner of birds, Stonewall Jackson is quite “resorty”. There were a lot of really big rigs…the huge, expensive Class A motorhomes that are just passing through. There are a lot of resort amenities here, too. A golf course, a huge lodge, a grand lake with a big boat that tours around in the evenings…weather permitting. It just has an altogether different feel and I honestly think I prefer the far end of a campground that might be visited by bears over this…even though it really is quite nice.
\nThe sun was shining when I arrived and I spent the afternoon reorganizing the pantry in the kitchen. I wasn’t sure what all I would need on this trip so. I brought way too much “stuff”. So far, I’ve sent Mr. FixIt home with extra stuff every time he comes to camp with me. This time, I knew I had too much in the big pantry because I just kept pushing things to the back and only using what was in the front. I have an empty tub in the bed of the truck that I throw the things I am not particularly using so a big bag of heavier stuff went out there. The rest got more evenly distributed throughout the camper so the shelves weren’t overloaded.
\nOnce the organizing was completed, dinner was done, and the dishes washed and put away, I went for a walk around the campground before turning in for the night. I know we are almost at the end of Daylight Savings Time and it’s already getting dark way too early. Once the time change hits us, it will be getting dark at 5:00pm…making for some long nights to fill in the camper. Since I don’t watch TV as a rule, I’m working on writing, reading actual books (wow), and knitting.
\nI spent almost the entire day yesterday over at the park lodge. The WiFi at the campground slowed down markedly because it started raining at 5:00am and people were stuck inside their campers. I’m sure they were surfing the web and maybe live-streaming movies. The WiFi at the lodge was much faster and I settled in after breakfast and sipped coffee as I met some writing deadlines. Along about 11:00, the hostess of the restaurant gasped and pointed out the window. Leaves were swirling about and the rain was coming down in sheets. I jumped up and asked them to watch my stuff…I’d be right back.
\nLeaving the camper in the campground unattended worried me and I wanted to drive back over to check on it. It was fine and I breathed a sigh of relief as I drove back over to the lodge to finish a piece I was working on. When you are put in charge of something that doesn’t belong to you, you don’t take chances with it. I don’t take this charge lightly.
\nToday is a gypsy day and I am leaving this campground. I have tentative plans for another further east, but that leads me into the mountains and the low Friday night is near freezing. I need to get the propane refilled and decide if it’s worth staying in the mountains, or should I move a bit further south. Weather forecasts can change quickly this time of year, and there is something special I would like to do this weekend where I was originally planning to stay. Something I’ve wanted to do for a long time. So, we shall see where I land. Sometimes those are the best travel days…when you end up doing something entirely unpredicted.
\n❤️
\n“But God made the earth by his power; he founded the world by his wisdom and stretched out the heavens by his understanding. When he thunders, the waters in the heavens roar; he makes clouds rise from the ends of the earth. He sends lightning with the rain and brings out the wind from his storehouses.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-10-17T01:30:23-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/10/17/what-a-difference-a-day.html", "tags": ["Travel","Camping","Fun","West Virginia","Gratitude","Comfort","Peace","Courage","Girl Camper","Girl Campers","Road Trip","Chasing the Sun - Girl Camper Road Trip"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/10/11/slow-down.html", "title": "Slow Down", "content_html": "Jeremiah 10:12-13 NIV
![\"Country](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/851c260933.jpg\")
“There’s something special about moseying out country roads instead of roaring through on an interstate.”
There is something special about driving on a two-lane blacktop in the fall. First, you’re forced to slow down…especially in West Virginia. There are a lot of 15 to 20 to 25mph turns in these parts. Beyond safety issues is the sheer beauty around every curve.
\nI love how the leaves fall in a shower of gold and red light in the sun. I love how the car in front of you stirs them up into a whirlwind that splashes on your windshield as you drive through them. I love how the the denuded trees cast lines on the roadway making it seem to glitter and shimmer as the miles fly under your wheels.
\nThe morning dew glistens as the leaves flutter in the breeze of your passing. The whole world takes on an auburn glow with rich yellow, tawny bronze, and deep indigo undertones. Crows and turkey buzzards circle overhead, waiting for the tasty morsels of the unfortunate squirrel or groundhog that doesn’t make it across the pavement in time.
\nDeer stand tenuously on the shoulder of the road seeming to be making a decision. Should I go? Should I stay? My mind wills them to turn and run up the hill away from my approaching bumper…left to live another day. Chipmunks seem to be enthralled with the macadam madness that cuts through their turf. Scoot out fast. No…wait! Dart back quick! How I keep from hitting them, I’ll never know.
\nI arrived at my next campground shortly before noon. I stopped at the store on the way so I could buy chili fixin’s. Mr. FixIt was talking about chili the other night and it’s been on my mind ever since. I got unhooked and mixed up a batch for the crockpot. I made plenty to have leftovers for the freezer.
\nThis is one of the best things about traveling with a camper. With a well equipped kitchen and a stocked pantry, you can eat healthy and save a lot of money on the road. Avoid the fast food places and steer clear of processed foods and your food budget can go a long way. I have homemade chicken noodle soup, beef and noodles, pepperoni rolls, cinnamon rolls, taco meat, potato soup, pizza, old fashioned noodles, and now chili in the freezer. Potatoes, sausage, cheese, salad greens, broccoli, cauliflower, oranges, grapes, eggs, potato salad, sliced turkey, avocado, yoghurt, milk, and cottage cheese in the fridge. I have an assortment of dry goods in the pantry, including microwave popcorn if I want a snack. We’ll be eating like royalty this weekend when Mr. FixIt arrives.
\nThere’s and upside and a downside to this campground. Gorgeous woods. No internet at the campsite. I’ll have to drive to town to post this. If I didn’t have writing deadlines, I’d just cut the cord for the duration, but alas…my “work” is never done! There are worse things than writing every day!
\n❤️
\n“The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands. Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they reveal knowledge.”\n\n \n", "date_published": "2019-10-11T01:30:15-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/10/11/slow-down.html", "tags": ["Travel","Positive Energy","Camping","Fun","West Virginia","Gratitude","Peace","Courage","Presence","Girl Camper","Girl Campers","Choices","Be Joyful!","Road Trip","Chasing the Sun - Girl Camper Road Trip"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/09/17/chasing-the-sun.html", "title": "Chasing the Sun!", "content_html": "Psalms 19:1-2 NIV
![\"2020](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/80aac83e23.jpg\")
“2020 RPod 196…taking her for a test run for the next four months!”
I’ve been trying to come up with a great name for my epic trip. I have decided I’ll be chasing the sun to stay warm as I travel further south so that’s just what I’ll call it. And yesterday was officially the very first day!!! And what a crazy day it was.
\nFirst, we had to pack up our hotel room. It is absolutely amazing what two people can accumulate in three short days! Once we were packed up, we headed to Advanced Auto Parts to buy a 2” ball for my hitch since that’s the size the RPod needs. I found one, but they didn’t have a wrench big enough to handle the job so I went across to the Goodyear store. They didn’t have a big enough tool either. So, rather than keep searching, I just went back to Advanced Auto and bought a new hitch at the correct size and we headed to Hershey Park to pick up the new camper.
\nWhen we arrived, our little camper was sitting all by herself at the end of the row. We hooked up and off we went. We had an easy, uneventful trip till we pulled into the field at the Ponderosa. I miscalculated a small incline and caught one of the scissor jacks and bent it. It’s no big deal, it didn’t hurt the camper at all…but it did hurt my pride because I knew better than to come in at that angle. We’ll just chalk it up to being overly tired because we were!
\nIt was wonderful to see Mr. Fixit! He had a pan of my smoked ribs out of the freezer thawing and I popped them in the oven as soon as I walked in. We fiddled around with the campers a little here and there. Janine had a spill in hers from a jar of balsamic vinaigrette that fell out of the cabinet so she had quite a sticky mess to clean up. We were all really excited to dine al fresco on the deck by the pool.
\nAnd, just like that…the evening was over and Janine and I both retreated to separate rooms to do our writing while Mr. FixIt watched his evening shows. It was too hot to dry camp in the field without air conditioning so we went for comfort and slept indoors. Today we are driving down to Huntington to Setzer’s RV to get some fine tuning on the campers and I will get my official walk through to learn the inner workings of the RPod. I’m going to have to come up with a cute name for her! Any ideas?
\n❤️
\n“Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy.”\n\n \n", "date_published": "2019-09-17T01:30:53-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/09/17/chasing-the-sun.html", "tags": ["Travel","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Camping","Fun","West Virginia","Gratitude","goRVing","Courage","Girl Camper","Girl Campers","Choices","Road Trip","Chasing the Sun - Girl Camper Road Trip"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/09/13/full-moonfriday-the-th.html", "title": "Full Moon...Friday the 13th", "content_html": "Proverbs 28:13 NIV
![\"Full](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/e94bb9bf3f.jpg\")
“Tonight is a full moon AND Friday the 13th! What could POSSIBLY go wrong?”
If you have ever worked in an emergency room, you know it is guaranteed to be crazy busy on the night of a full moon and any Friday the 13th. Add the two? Yikes! Let’s just say, I’m super happy I am going to go work an RV show today and not an ER!
\nYesterday was insanely busy. I got up early and finished packing. Mr. FixIt had to work so I loaded up the truck by myself. Although I started early and it was only 73 degrees, within an hour I was sweating buckets and things became decidedly more difficult. I managed to get everything finished around 11:00 and headed to town. I had some errands to run before a doctor’s appointment at 2:45. The Doctor ran really late so it was 4:15 by the time I was finished.
\nAs I walked around the back of my truck in the parking lot, I noticed the hitch wasn’t on my truck. Mr. FixIt usually does that for me because a hitch with all the gear to use weight distribution bars is really heavy. I had to drive all the way home and hook it up myself before I could head out of town. I was really tired by 10:00 and started looking for a hotel room. I finally found one around Hagerstown, MD and stopped for the night. There’s a long stretch through the mountains where the pickin’s are slim.
\nI love traveling by night. The traffic is lighter and the moon was amazing! By the time I got settled in my room, it was 11:30 so I was whupped. I don’t have to be at the RV Show till noon so I could sleep in this morning! Gotta be ready for a busy, busy couple of days!
\n❤️
\n“For it is written: “ ‘He will command his angels concerning you to guard you carefully; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.’ ””\n\n \n", "date_published": "2019-09-13T01:30:48-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/09/13/full-moonfriday-the-th.html", "tags": ["Travel","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","Fun","Gratitude","goRVing","Grace","Love","God","Courage","Girl Camper","Girl Campers","Choices","Be Joyful!","Widow","Road Trip"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/09/10/forever.html", "title": "Forever 62...", "content_html": "Luke 4:10-11 NIV
![\"Handsome](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/ec04ed0bbc.jpg\")
“Mr. Virgo…Forever 62…and still handsome as ever.”
Happy Heavenly Birthday, Mr. Virgo. You would have been sixty-nine today. Would you have been retired by now? Would we have pulled that camper all over the country? Would our golf game be any better? It’s hard to say, but my guess is…we would have been out hitting some balls today.
\nMy life is so different now…I do different things. I camp and write about it. I grieve and write about it. I got married again…and I write about it! Nothing is safe anymore…it’s all blog fodder. But in a good way.
\nI remember all the stages, all the phases, all the fear and pain and anger your loss caused me. I remember it all. At the same time, the edges are fuzzy. A little out of focus. The only words I can hear your voice say in my mind anymore is “I love you, baby doll.” I can picture your hands…your earlobes…your hair. It’s like I can see all the pieces of the puzzle but I cannot seem to piece them all together and put together a workable picture of you. Sometimes it’s frustrating. Sometimes its a Godsend.
\nAs I always tell my readers, the pain of grief is always much, much worse when I’m tired. Sunday night, I could not get to sleep. And the longer it went on, the more focused I became on being away. I knew I’d be tired. And I knew the waves could hit any minutes, even if you never crossed my mind.
\nI finally drifted off for about 20 minutes and woke up freezing. I turned off the fan, threw a blanket over me, and went to sleep for…maybe a half hour. This time, I woke up overheated, sweating profusely, and anxious/nauseated/jittery. I finally got up, turned the fan back on, and got sick.
\nGrief.
\nWaves of seemingly unending grief have dwindled to the rare bad night. Sunday night was it. I hate disturbing Mr. FixIt if I’m jumping up and down all night so I moved to the guest room, took something for my upset stomach, and finally slipped into a sound sleep for four or five hours. This is the way it works now. The fact that I am happily married doesn’t seem to phase it. We never “get over it”….but we do learn how to hold our grief with soft hands so as to not wake up the beast.
\nIt is your 69th. You are there with your mom and dad…and cousin-in-law Dennis…and now, your firstborn, Shannon. She has been with you for two years. I know you all are together and having a cigar on the back 9…watching the sunset.
\nI will always love you and remember you in so many ways. It’s funny how your shape in my life has changed over time. Each year you step a tiny bit further away. Your star shines a tiny bit less in my every day life…but you’re so much bigger in the grand moments. And still, every once it a while, a wave hits me and I have a bad night. Thank God, they are fewer and farther between.
\nSo…
\nHappy Birthday, Mr. Virgo!
\n❤️
\n“So also you have sorrow now, but I will see you again, and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy from you.”\n\n \n", "date_published": "2019-09-10T01:30:19-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/09/10/forever.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Growth","Gratitude","God","Peace","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Aging","Choices","Change","Widow","Marriage","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/09/09/there-is-another.html", "title": "There is Another", "content_html": "John 16:22 ESV
![\"Worship](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/0e00872f65.jpg\")
“There is another who stands with us in the fire….always.”
I cannot tell you how many times I have felt alone in my life. Totally alone. Totally forgotten. Maybe not totally worthless…but pretty darned close sometimes. When I went through my formal conversion to Judaism just before my second child was born, part of the process was to sit before the Bet Din…the Jewish Tribunal Court that determines your suitability. Did you learn all you needed to learn? Are you converting for your faith…or for your husband? How will you accomplish the very important aspect of the Jewish faith…being a contributing member of the synagogue?
\nThese were the easy questions. I had already lived a Jewish life for 12 years. This conversion was merely a formality so that our child would be considered by other Jews to be Jewish once she was born. The difficult question came last.
\n“Do you renounce Jesus as your personal savior?”
\nI thought I would fly through these questions without giving them a second thought. But this question….this…betrayal to all I had learned as a child hit something deep within me I didn’t even realize was there. But what was I to do? I was pregnant out to here and my nice Jewish doctor-husband was sitting on the other side of the door, waiting for me.
\n“I have obligations to my family,” I thought to myself. “I have people depending on me to show up as a Jew…not the least of which is my unborn child.”
\nSo, I said yes…and that’s where the trouble started. I felt God…I don’t know…step back, for lack of a better description. From that moment on…for the next ten years…I felt alone. Forsaken, as I had forsaken Jesus. Granted, I had not recognized him as the Son of God at that point. I had never invited Him into my life. I had never given over to Him and called Him Lord. I guess, in that moment, I realized He was still in the back of my mind. He was still there. That is, until I kicked Him to the curb in the office of the synagogue that cold and sunny January day.
\nI didn’t deserve Him. I had shunned Him. I felt there was no forgiveness for such an action and that was where I was left. Dying on the vine from the inside out. Ten years later, after an overdose nearly killed me, I started my long journey back to life and along the way…praise God…I was brought to my knees at the foot of the Cross and came home to Jesus in 2005. Nearly fifteen years ago.
\nWhat I’ve learned since then is this: I was never alone in the fire. God was always there with me, no matter how far I tried to push Him away. I spent that whole decade feeling alone and unworthy…far from God on my side of the fence. Yet He sat there patiently watching out for me, patiently waiting for me to cry out for him.
\nI think of myself as a parent…how sad I have been at times when my children’s focus has them far away from me and how joyful I feel when they call, or reach out to me for something even as mundane as a family recipe. This must be how God feels when we reach our arms out to Him to be held. Like any parent…He loves His children. Like any parent…He rejoices when His children love Him back.
\n❤️
\n“How precious is your steadfast love, O God! The children of mankind take refuge in the shadow of your wings.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-09-09T01:30:03-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/09/09/there-is-another.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/09/08/let-things-go.html", "title": "Let Things Go", "content_html": "Psalms 36:7 ESV
![\"Autumn](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/99aa1978b5.jpg\")
“Letting things go for a little while gives your mind and heart a chance to breathe.”
I have a list as long as my arm to get accomplished in the next four days. On the upside, I don’t have a camper to clean and prep for a trip. On the downside, I still have laundry, errands, packing, planning, writing, and a couple of doctor’s appointments before I slip out of town on Thursday for the beginning of this amazing Girl Camper Trailer Tour.
\nSo, with all this stuff on my list, what did I do yesterday? I let things go. I created a day just for me. I met ten of my dear friends from my high school class for coffee and conversation. We caught up with what’s been going on since the beginning of summer. We haven’t met since June before I left cross country. This is the first chance I’ve had to plan a coffee gathering since returning from Colorado. I needed to fit it in before I leave again this week.
\nWe caught up with everyone’s health issues. Yes, we’re THOSE people now…surgeries, hospitalizations, injuries. We are “of a certain age” and things break down more often it seems. One of the gals was new to our gathering. She’s been liberated from a longstanding situation that didn’t allow her to socialize before now so there was a lot of catching up to do there. We talked about our vacations over the summer and travel plans for the fall. We shared photos of the grandkids…and GREAT grandkids! Ninety minutes flew by and someone called, “Picture time!” We needed to enlist a patron sitting in the cafe to come take our photo. A young woman doing homework. I smiled. “High school friends. Don’t ever lose touch!” She smiled back and took the perfect picture.
\nWhen it was time to leave, we each hugged everyone there. We’re of that age…we don’t know “when” and “if” anymore. So we hug and kiss a lot and give lots of “love you’s” and “take care’s”. I left feeling loved and supported and relieved those I care about were experiencing a pretty good week. As I was heading to the truck, one of our granddaughters texted to say she was in town and did I want to snuggle our great grandson. Well…of course! Silly question!
\nI went to the former Mrs. FixIt’s house and visited her and with not one, but BOTH great grandchildren for an hour or so and caught up with everyone, then headed off for errands. I met Mr. FixIt after his golf scramble and went to one of my favorite stores…Rural King. I’m looking for a cool barn coat but I’m not finding one. I’ll probably have to buy online.
\nSo, there you go…my primer on how to let things go. Totally self serving and vitally important. Church today, then I can piddle around the house. It’ll get done. And, it’ll get done without me feeling like I’ll tear my hair out at any minute. That is a monumental win-win in my book.
\n❤️
\n“a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-09-08T01:30:33-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/09/08/let-things-go.html", "tags": ["Health","Uplifting Stories","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Fun","West Virginia","Gratitude","Comfort","Love","Wisdom","Courage","Aging","Presence","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/09/08/revelations.html", "title": "Revelations", "content_html": "\nEcclesiastes 3:5 ESV
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/73b3f7e21e.jpg\")
Not the last book of the Bible kind. The \"smack my forehead, why didn't I see that\" kind. A friend of mine had to come to the river to mow yesterday. She decided to camp in her trailer up here last night so we had dinner from the grill and sat on the deck till dark. We were discussing an issue I've dealt with over the years and I made a casual remark to the effect...\"I'll probably deal with this the rest of my life.\" She sat quietly for several seconds and in that wise, no-nonsense, shake-me-by-the-scruff-of-the-neck way I've come to appreciate, she said, \"Well, you can sure do that, but it doesn't sound like much fun to me.\"
\n\n\nStunned silence.
\n\n\nAnd in five seconds, everything made perfect sense. I do not have to make sense of every single thing that has ever happened to me. I do not have to work it out in my mind. I don't have to \"get over\" stuff I've already \"gotten through\". $#|£ happens. Plain and simple. I did the best I could with the knowledge I had at the time. I believed things about myself based on the opinions of others. And they just weren't true.
\n\n\nI could keep working things over like worry beads, or I can scatter them across the sky till they become stars. Scars or stars? You choose.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2019-09-08T01:30:16-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/09/08/revelations.html", "tags": ["Courage","Choices","Insight"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/09/06/stitched-with-love.html", "title": "Stitched with Love", "content_html": "\"From now on, let no one cause me trouble, for I bear on my body the marks of Jesus.\"
\nGalatians 6:17\n
![\"Quilt\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/c1c6bb2422.jpg\")
“My friend’s comfort quilt is on its way. She’s had her first dose of chemo.”
My dear friend’s quilt is on its way out west. As I sat and hand stitched the binding, I listened to praise music for a bit, then I switched over to my daily devotional. My Bible app on my phone has a function where someone reads the Bible to you. That is especially handy for my Bible plan that I’m working on. It’s planned so that you read the entire Bible in a year. I’ve only read the Bible completely once. I read it from cover to cover…from Genesis to Revelations. That’s tough. You get stuck in all those begats and Kings and it’s difficult to keep from going cross eyed.
\nThis plan reads a couple of chapters from the Old Testament and the New Testament. Then it reads some from Psalms and finishes with Proverbs. Every day. Once I got two weeks behind and swore I’d never do that again. Then over the weekend, I hit the two week behind mark again. Currently I’m only behind nine days. I have some catching up to do. Listening over the headphones accomplished two things…it helped me catch up a bit and it let me stitch the Word into my work. Then I prayed over the quilt and hugged it close and sent it off to my friend, hoping she feels the love and hugs and prayers put into each stitch.
\nI’m counting down the days for my trip now. We’ve all learned from experience just how fast a week can go by. It will be no time and I’ll be off to the Hershey RV Show. I’ll meet Janine there and we’ll work the show for two days. Then we’ll be off to Huntington, WV.
\nI’ve been researching stays for my trip and all the writing that is going to be involved with it. Lots of driving. Lots of photo editing. Plus another project that’s coming up very soon. PLUS my own writing here. That’s a ton of work. What I will have to do is share my trip writing here on some of the days. It will be extremely difficult (I think) to write the daily essays you and I have become accustomed to. Then again, writing on this blog has become my bedtime ritual and I may not be able to sleep until I write something here.
\nAt any rate, you and I are about to embark on a VERY exciting journey filled with fun experiences and beautiful scenery. And sometimes we’ll still talk about grief. Because, you know…it’s what we do here. Grief and joy can exist at the same time.
\n❤️
\n“a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;”\n\n \n", "date_published": "2019-09-06T01:30:17-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/09/06/stitched-with-love.html", "tags": ["Health","Travel","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Gratitude","Comfort","Love","Courage","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/09/03/random-acts-of-kindnesssenseless-acts.html", "title": "Random Acts of Kindness...Senseless Acts of Beauty", "content_html": "Ecclesiastes 3:7 ESV
![\"Kind](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/4749d18769.jpg\")
“My grandma always said you can catch a lot more flies with honey than you can with vinegar.”
About thirty years ago, a woman named Anne Herbert wrote something on a placemat in a restaurant. “Practice random acts of kindness and senseless acts of beauty.” Since then, countless posters, books, t-shirts, and movies have incorporated this idea of doing something for others…some kindness…without expecting anything in return. Things like paying for the person behind you in the drive through at the local coffee shop. Or, leaving a basket of flowers on someone’s doorstep. Or, something I like to do every once in a while….put a sticky note on a $5 bill with a note like “God loves you!”…then tuck it in a book at the library or a book store.
\nPracticing random acts of kindness didn’t start with Ms. Herbert, of course. The original practitioner was Jesus, of course…and we would do well to strive to emulate Him. Being a good person seems to be rapidly going out of style. My dad wasn’t what you would call a profound thinker, but he said one thing that always stuck with me. “Computers will be the downfall of mankind.” I think I rolled my eyes when he said that. But maybe he wasn’t so far off.
\nI don’t think it’s computers, per se, that will be the downfall of man. I think it’s how computers are used. Social media has created a monster. It’s given people a voice who may never have had one. It’s placed a filter between people….it’s created an US against THEM atmosphere. And, it has taken away the social filter of eye contact, allowing whatever vitriol that comes to mind to flow through the keyboard without repercussion. Cyber bullying isn’t limited to 8th grade girls and misunderstood emo boys.
\nI will have to say…thankfully there has been very little in the way of nastiness on this page. I won’t tolerate it and the few times it’s happened, the instigator has been blocked and the offending message deleted. That isn’t the case everywhere. It’s hard to judge the “tone” of a message when it’s written. All it takes is one “rude” comment to unleash a flood of bullying back and forth…and that’s with grown adults!
\nIt’s a new month. School is back in session. I don’t want to wait for Christmas to have the good feels. Let’s go out today and do kind things for people. If it’s not new to you, great! Keep up the good work! If it’s been a while and you’d like to rectify that situation, go out there and do something nice for someone today. And if someone does something nice for you, pay it forward.
\nWe attract to us what we dish out. If we are negative and uncaring, we just get more of the same. If we are kind and loving, there is a better chance of attracting that same kindness and love. If it doesn’t come right away…keep trying. It never hurts to spread good vibes around the world.
\n❤️
\n“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-09-03T01:30:15-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/09/03/random-acts-of-kindnesssenseless-acts.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Humbled","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/09/02/the-tug-of-war.html", "title": "The Tug of War", "content_html": "Ephesians 4:32 ESV
![\"Angel](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/9046855216.jpg\")
“Angel on one hand, devil on the other…trying to have their way with me.”
Mr. FixIt and I haven’t had a lot of time together this summer. I was gone a lot and, even though he joined me for three weeks in Colorado, we both have been working nonstop at this and that since we got home the first week of August. Here it is September already and I’m already preparing to leave again.
\nWe miss being together and we both know the importance of devoting time to our relationship. It’s been really nice this weekend because we took three days off for some much needed R&R. When I woke up yesterday, I was tired. My allergies have been giving me fits creating fluid in my ears which sometimes makes me dizzy. I laid in bed for twenty minutes telling myself it was perfectly fine to stay home…we didn’t have to go to church. I mean…it’s just this once, right? We go almost every Sunday when we are home. That deserves a day off to sleep in. I just didn’t feel good. I didn’t feel like going.
\nAs I let these thoughts run through my mind, I was almost convinced to turn over and go back to sleep when a stern “voice” shook me from my reverie.
\n“When you don’t FEEL like going is exactly when you NEED to go!”
\nI quite literally jumped out of bed.
\nOhhhhh….my thinker was what was “sick”. Church is the place it gets healed.
\nWhen I’m thinking I don’t need to go to church is exactly when I need it the most. And yesterday, I am not kidding…church felt like plugging in my jet pack. I got fed the energy and grace and love and lessons I needed and I left there convicted. Convinced the place to feel better is to draw closer to Jesus, not turn over and go back to sleep.
\nIt’s not enough to go every Sunday and get plugged in, hoping the charge lasts till the following Sunday. That obviously didn’t work last week because I easily could have opted out. My tug of war pitted the proverbial angel on one hand and devil on the other…each trying to pull me to their side. I know I can’t ever go wrong when I choose Jesus.
\nThe key is to draw closer…constantly. The Bible says we are to “pray without ceasing” (1 Thessalonians 5:17). The way to do that is to turn whatever you are doing into worship. Whether you are singing in the choir or scrubbing toilets, it can be done with a tone of worship and praise. And when we pray, we are to devote ourselves “to prayer, keeping alert in it with an attitude of thanksgiving” (Colossians 4:2)
\nJust that boost, and the conviction to keep close, has given me rest and regeneration. I feel so much better and not nearly so overwhelmed by all I need to accomplish in the next two weeks. I came to the farm after church…to my place of meditation…to the home of my heart…and enjoyed a quiet evening while Mr. FixIt bowled. Today, I’ll go back home and get some work done. Perhaps I’ll pressure wash the deck!
\n❤️
\n“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-09-02T01:30:54-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/09/02/the-tug-of-war.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Hope","Positive Energy","West Virginia","The Farm","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","God","Peace","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Aging","Choices","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/09/01/dining-alone.html", "title": "Dining Alone", "content_html": "Romans 12:2 NIV
![\"Dining](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/98b0114505.jpg\")
“Dining alone can be an intimidating experience when you are widowed.”
I saw her walk into the restaurant with the rest of us “early birds”. The waitress came up to her table and handed her a menu.
\n“Just one?”
\nI’m sure I’m the only one in the restaurant that saw the shadow of pain skitter across her face.
\n“Yes.”
\n“Really?”
\nsigh
\nI wanted to smack the perky waitress but decided at some point in the meal, this would become a teaching moment.
\nWhen we walked in, there were friends sitting in a booth near the front of the restaurant. They called to us to join them. The woman dining alone sat nearby. Our friends lost their son a couple of years ago. Eventually, our conversation included him…mentioning him by name, telling a funny story or two, comforting her and telling her at two years, it’s still ok to cry. It’s always ok to cry.
\nThe waitress came back to give us our check and I chose that moment to speak to the woman dining alone. We made direct eye contact.
\n“I remember the first time I went to a restaurant alone after my husband died.”
\nShe looked at me steadily. I recognized the sadness in her eyes. I sat there…many times.
\n“It doesn’t really help to be asked…’Oh…you’re alone?’ The first time I went to our favorite restaurant, I opened my iPad and pulled up my favorite picture of my husband and propped him up on the table so I didn’t feel so alone.”
\n“Yes…it’s really hard. Especially when someone comes up to you after a year and a half and asks ‘Where’s Paul?’”
\nThe waitress whirled around. It just dawned on her what had happened. She opened her mouth to say something and I quickly said, “It’s not your fault. You aren’t clairvoyant so you had no way of knowing.” But now she’ll be more aware the next time someone comes in unaccompanied.
\nAs we were leaving, I glanced over at the woman dining alone and gave her a long, knowing look and a gentle smile. She smiled back and waved.
\nGod moments. He gives us the people we need to help…and to help us.
\n❤️
\n“He defends the cause of the fatherless and the widow, and loves the foreigner residing among you, giving them food and clothing.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-09-01T01:30:25-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/09/01/dining-alone.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Growth","Grace","God","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Aging","Choices","Change","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/08/31/like-sands-through-the-hourglass.html", "title": "Like Sands Through the Hourglass...", "content_html": "Deuteronomy 10:18 NIV
![\"Comfort](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/7d84449dc2.jpg\")
“Sending some cheerful hugs, love and prayers to one of my dearest peeps!”
One of my dearest peeps is having a medical issue that will involve a lengthy period of medical treatments. I can’t be with her or give her hugs or bring her casseroles, so I’m doing the next best thing…I’m sending her a little “Comfort Quilt” to stuff in her tote and take to the hospital. I told her when she wraps herself up in it, she can feel my hugs and prayers because I’m putting both in it!
\nI spent yesterday afternoon at the little quilt shop in town, cutting and sewing the quilt top. The owner and I spent the time chatting and visiting with the other women who came in to shop. When they were all gone, she asked if I would mind if she turned the TV back on. The last time I was there, she had been watching quilt tutorials. I normally hate TV, but anything educational is quite tolerable.
\nImagine my surprise when she turned on…wait for it…..Days of Our Lives! I didn’t even know that was still on the air! Well, I’m here to tell you…it is. I haven’t watched soap operas since Daughter #2 was a baby. I usually watched while I folded the laundry. Here’s the crazy thing…
\nMaggie…Victor…Marlena…they’re ALL still there!!!
\nAnd they’ve been stuck in the same wine cellar since 1990!!!
\nSeriously though…other than people carrying cell phones, you wouldn’t know 29 years had passed. There was one actress on there that plays two characters…one of whom wears those false teeth that made her look like her daddy drank up all the money for her orthodontia. And she had such a grossly over-exaggerated fake southern hick accent that it was insulting. Every word she said made me want to get up and slap her for making fun of me and my people.
\nAnyway, I finished the quilt top and the shop owner will quilt it on the long arm tomorrow and I can pick it up Tuesday, sew on the binding and get it sent off with lots of love and hugs and prayers for complete healing and minimal side effects. When I get it finished, I’ll post another picture and you can send your prayers and hugs along with mine!
\nTill then…I hope you have a fun and safe Labor Day Weekend. And, if you’re in the way of the hurricane…please be careful out there!!! Prayers for your health and safety!
\n❤️
\n“Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword.....No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.”\nRomans 8:35, 37 NIV\n", "date_published": "2019-08-31T01:30:08-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/08/31/like-sands-through-the-hourglass.html", "tags": ["Health","Family","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Comfort","Grace","Love","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/08/30/and-i-will-give-you.html", "title": "“...and I Will Give You Rest.”", "content_html": "
![\"Broken\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/cedfd64030.jpg\")
“We can help broken people by touching base with a simple ? or ❤️…just to let them know you’re thinking of them.”
I have spoken with thousands of bereaved people in the last six plus years. I have heard story after story of loss and how their grief affects them. I have learned to keep healthy boundaries so that I don’t internalize the stories and let it affect my well being. This is something I learned in the beginning of my medical career and it’s a valuable tool.
\nWe all experience loss and grief in our lives. It seems to me, the older I get, the more of it there is to deal with. Just after I graduated from high school, I had my first experience with death. My Pop-Pop died of a heart attack when he was 72. The next year, a couple of friends from high school died together from carbon monoxide poisoning. News would come here and there…a neighbor passed, the daughter of a friend, an accident here, old age there.
\nLosing my mom was really hard as it was fairly sudden and, well…it was my MOM. My dad died four years later but the impact wasn’t as great because we never had a close relationship. Then…Mr. Virgo died and death changed its timbre. Death hit close and it hit hard and it hit home. I remember feeling…broken.
\nAnd now, there are people who are close to me who are suffering terrible, tragic things and I feel as helpless as anyone else. I want to help them. I want to hold them and say magic words that make it better. And I know…there ARE no magic words. The only thing I can do is touch base with them. Pray for them. Perhaps send them gift cards for things like gas or a meal. Uber Eats and other food delivery services can help a lot in times like this.
\nIf you are supporting someone whose world has been shattered by tragedy, there is one thing you have to remember to do and that’s take care of yourself. You can’t help anyone if you suffer your own burnout. It may seem selfish when people you love are in pain and you’re thinking of yourself. But believe me, it’s vitally important to practice self care.
\nWith that in mind, I seriously wanted to sleep in my camper last night but for a number of reasons, I couldn’t. I’m going to make a concerted effort to get out there tonight and have some TOW-Wanda Time. That is where I physically find the most peace and rest. And…it’s where I spend an awful lot of quality quiet time with Jesus so trailer time is good for me.
\nI took the truck to the Ford dealer yesterday and spent about three hours working on my camping itinerary for the upcoming trip. I made some reservations. I also found the kind of trip planner I’ve been looking for on the Good Sams page. There are lots of planners out there, but I was looking for one that lets me add and change stops and look for camping spots at the the same time. There are a lot of things to juggle with this trip.
\nI’m trying to focus on West Virginia while it is still warm enough to camp here. When it gets colder, I’ll follow the colors south. I found a map online that predicts when the colors will be at their peak in different areas. I think that will be helpful in my planning. The truck is in tip top shape. It has new tires. The mechanic said the brakes are barely worn and there are no leaks…the underside is really clean.
\nNow I need to go through the items I brought back from Colorado that were in my camper so I can figure out what I need to take and what can be put away. I leave two weeks from today. With all that’s going on with my loved ones, it’s hard to get excited about the trip. But, as one of my dearest friends told me earlier this week, my stories will be a distraction for her as she goes through her valley. I do hope they help.
\n❤️
\n“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-08-30T01:30:09-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/08/30/and-i-will-give-you.html", "tags": ["Faith","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","God","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Change","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/08/29/grief-time-grief.html", "title": "GRIEF + TIME = grief", "content_html": "Matthew 11:28 NIV
![\"Grief](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/efad09dc8b.jpg\")
“Grief is a process that varies from person to person…but there are some general similarities.”
The other day I read a Tweet that stopped me in my tracks. A woman said she had cut her two best friends completely out of her life because in the entire year after her niece died, neither one of them bothered to check in with her. Her comment came after someone checked in…a full two years after her tragic loss. He texted her with a very simple message…
\n“I’m just checking in to see how you are coping after the death of your niece.”
\nSimple. To the point. And, so welcomed it brought her to tears.
\nIt prompted me to reflect. When was the last time I checked in with my friends who have lost loved ones? I get so wrapped up in my “work”, my “ministry”, with the bereaved, I forget to reach out and connect myself sometimes.
\nLast night I spent a good two hours writing quick texts to several of my peeps who had lost someone significant in the last couple of years. I heard back from them and the response was universal…”You have no idea what it means to have someone remember to ask how I’m doing!” “Thank you SO much for checking in…it means so much to me!” “My own kids don’t even want to listen!”
\nIt’s true…once a “reasonable amount of time” passes, people move on with their lives. And, unless they have been bereaved, they may not understand that you haven’t. I remember how I felt abandoned. Like no one cared anymore. That isn’t true, of course. They just don’t have a point of reference for the depth of your pain and…it would scare the crap out of them if they believed that depth of pain could possible last more than a few months.
\nThere is no way to compare your own experience with that of another. Your grief is different than my grief. And it doesn’t matter how your person died…your grief is the worst grief ever because it is your own. But truly, I’m here to tell you, there is some grief that I cannot begin to imagine. Like the mother whose son was murdered by terrorists and left to die on the roadside. Or the mother whose daughter was found dead three days after a heroin overdose. Or the wife who returned from the grocery store to find her husband dead on the back porch from a self-inflicted gunshot wound.
\nThere are so many stories in the work that I do. It breaks my heart into little pieces. And, it makes me think, “If he had to die, at least it wasn’t like that!” I find myself feeling grateful it was “only a heart attack.” I didn’t have to watch him slowly fade away from the ravages of cancer.
\nAs I talked to my friend whose son was killed a little over a year ago, I thought back over the years since Mr. Virgo died. And, while there isn’t some neat and tidy delineation from year to year, there is some general sense of first, second, third, etc.
\nThe first year is such a fog. You are numb. You are just trying to get the next thing done, the next paper filed, the next account closed. Closet? Check. Accounts? Check. Cellphone? Check. The first year becomes a blur…a cross between busy and madness.
\nThe second year can be surprisingly rough…like you are standing in high tide during a storm surge. Your footing shifts like the sand beneath you in the ocean. Each wave hitting you blindly, knocking you beneath the surface. And…you can’t swim. Not even close.
\nAt some point along the way…you hear it. A little snippet of music. A little bubble of laughter. A little glimmer of color peeking through a stormy sky. And that’s when the tides begin to shift a little. The waves not quite so hard. Or…maybe we’ve become better swimmers.
\nFor me, the third year gave me a little breathing room. It was a period of exploration and self-discovery. A time of reaching out and stretching beyond my past and stepping a bit more boldly into the future.
\nThe fourth, and beyond, found me building a boat to carry me over the waves till the next storm comes.
\nI listened intently to my friend sharing her grief. I asked questions. I resisted the urge to share my experiences except to say the occasional “Yes! I get that…I felt that, too!” It was amazingly comforting to me when I found others shared some of the same things I was experiencing. At some point in our conversation, she asked…
\n”How is your life?”
\n“I feel bad sharing how wonderful my life is when yours sucks so terribly,” I said.
\n“No…don’t ever feel bad about that! Your story gives me hope!”
\nAnd that…in a nutshell…is what keeps me going. It keeps me telling stories…even when you hurt…even when I hurt. Because life keeps going on around us whether our sense of time has stopped or whether death has taken the joy from our hearts. I write about Jesus and faith. I write about grief. I write about pain. I write about love and joy and rocking babies. I write about travel, and camping, and becoming strong. I write about farms and mowing and fried green tomatoes. I write about life and all it’s little bits…both good and bad.
\nBut mostly…I write about hope.
\n❤️
\n“You are my refuge and my shield; your word is my source of hope.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-08-29T01:30:48-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/08/29/grief-time-grief.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Love","God","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/08/25/singing-with-jesus.html", "title": "Singing with Jesus", "content_html": "Psalms 119:114 NLT
![\"Pear](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/5ff55a8d8b.jpg\")
“Mr. FixIt says our pear trees have never produced…he thought they were ornamental. This year, they’re loaded!”
The other day I had to have a fasting blood draw for some tests. When I came out of the lab, I was humming a praise song as I walked through the lobby. “Your promise still stands…great is your faithfulness, your faithfulness.”
\nThe woman in front of me turned around and gave me a huge smile and said, “You must be really happy! I’m a singer, too. I’m always walking around singing.”
\nI smiled back. “Well, Jesus is always with me and we love to sing together.”
\nShe stopped and looked at me and said, “That’s a really good thing. I like that!”
\nYesterday was a busy day. We had our class picnic in the afternoon. Then, Mr. FixIt went to help someone with a move and I went home and mowed five acres. Then I cleaned the pool. When I mow the lawn, I use a pair of ear protectors that have Bluetooth speakers in them so I can listen to the music on my phone. I crank up my worship music and once in a while I have to laugh when I catch myself driving with one hand and praising with the other!
\nMr. FixIt came home when I was just finishing cleaning the pool. He was kind enough to deal with back flushing the pump for me so I didn’t have to keep getting out of the pool to do it. There is a decided turn in the temperatures that have put the unmistakable tinge of fall in the air. Mr. FixIt said the temp was 54 yesterday morning and very foggy when he left to work on the porch he’s building with a friend.
\nAnd today is church day…my favorite day of every single week! See you this evening for Sunday Evening Prayer Circle!
\n❤️
\n“Yet we hear that some of you are living idle lives, refusing to work and meddling in other people’s business. We command such people and urge them in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ to settle down and work to earn their own living. As for the rest of you, dear brothers and sisters, never get tired of doing good.”\n\n \n", "date_published": "2019-08-25T01:30:39-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/08/25/singing-with-jesus.html", "tags": ["Positive Energy","Fun","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Courage","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/08/24/another-trip-down-memory-lane.html", "title": "Another Trip Down Memory Lane", "content_html": "2 Thessalonians 3:11-13 NLT
![\"1960’s](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/bae4fdd498.jpg\")
“A trip down memory lane takes me to the neighborhood grocery store.”
Do you remember when women dressed up to go to the grocery store? I ran across this picture on Facebook last night when I was searching for something else and it just brought back such a flood of memories. I love looking at all the details. Diet Pepsi was a thing…even in the mid ‘60s. Some of us were debating whether this was a staged photo-op because of the total on the cash register.
\nLook at the uniforms the store clerks wore! The “K” on the lapels was for Kroger. Their stores operate under a lot of brands now…King Soopers, City Market, Smiths, among others. And the manager of any store, grocery or otherwise, wouldn’t be caught dead without his short sleeved white shirt and tie.
\nNotice the machine on top of the cash register. Do you remember what that was? It was the stamp dispenser. I believe the stamps dispensed at Kroger’s were Value Stamps. They were yellow. Other stores had Green Stamps and Plaid Stamps. I remember my first stuffed toy was a donkey I named Pedro. He was stuffed with excelsior…or wood wool. It was made from wood shavings that were about the size of spaghetti. My first roller skates were from the Plaid Stamp store. And, we got a lot of things with Green Stamps…dishes, a laundry hamper, my trash can with the pink poodle on it.
\nMy first boyfriend, who later became Hubby #1, worked at the Kroger Store in the Park Shopping Center. That was back in the days before malls. The shopping center stole a lot of business from the stores downtown and when the mall opened, it was pretty much the death of the downtown shops.
\nI remember stopping at the grocery store and watching the stockers use a pricing stamp and put the price in ink on the top of the cans. click, click, click, click, click. They’d stamp a case at a time. Then the checker had to hand enter each price into the cash register. I remember the first time I saw a guy working at the checkout stand. He might as well have been a zebra, he looked that out of place.
\nMy very first job was at Kresge’s as a clerk, stocking and working the cash register. I never worked in a grocery store. I did stock shelves for a short time at the PX at Lowry Air Force Base in Denver when we first moved there till I could find a job in radiology. Ahhhh, I look back at my humble beginnings.
\nI’m at an age now where there’s a whole lot less time in front of me than there is behind me and I wax nostalgic when I see pictures like this. Maybe not so much for the jobs I had in my teens, but more for my mom. I see her in her dress and heels, coming from the office where she worked. Driving us in that big boat of a car and stopping at the store for a few groceries. Her hair carefully coiffed at the beauty college every Saturday. Sitting demurely while the young man in the skinny tie pumped her gas and washed her windshield and checked her oil. I remember her soft skin and her wet kisses, her cool hands on my fevered brow. I remember her sitting by my bedside when I had the mumps and read to me…until she too came down with them and Grandma had to come take care of us AND her.
\nI’ve missed my mom a lot lately. I opened YouTube the other night and on the landing page where there were a dozen or so suggested videos, there was a woman getting her snowy white hair cut short and I swear…she looked so much like my mom it made my eyes sting. I showed it to my friends that knew her and they agreed. My mom’s boss is still living and even she said it was remarkable how much the woman resembled my mom.
\nIt’s not that I “long for the good old days”. I just miss my mom.
\nGrief…even for those lost so long ago…still comes in a wave. Not a tsunami anymore…but sometimes it’s big enough to rock my footing. There’s so much I’d love to show her. I think she would have really loved camping in a trailer or a motor home. Sometimes I just take her on a trip in my mind and I imagine all the places we’d go and things we’d see. She wasn’t well traveled, although she did come to England when Daughter #1 was born and she came to Colorado several times. She went to the beach once with my BFF in her little convertible.
\nSpeaking of nostalgia, my high school class picnic is today. I saw on FB the Class of ‘69 had their 50th Reunion this weekend. That means only two years to ours. Where did the time go? I remember when my aunt and uncle went to their 50th and I thought they were so OLD. They were only 15 years or so older than me! Funny…the perspective from the other end was so long and from this end it’s so short.
\nWe’ve finally had a break in the weather and it’s much cooler. The high was only 74 yesterday. It should be about the same today. I hope you enjoy your weekend!
\n❤️
\n“Don’t long for “the good old days.” This is not wise.”\n\n \n", "date_published": "2019-08-24T01:30:10-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/08/24/another-trip-down-memory-lane.html", "tags": ["Family","Grief","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Love","Courage","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/08/23/freda-the-ford-got-new.html", "title": "Freda the Ford Got New Shoes!", "content_html": "Ecclesiastes 7:10 NLT
![\"New](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/493dfbb6df.jpg\")
“New tires for the truck! Getting ready for the next Grand Adventure!”
I’ve been putting off getting new tires for my truck, but with a five month epic camping trip coming up, I couldn’t wait any longer. Mr. FixIt scoured the internet and found a good set of Michelin tires through Walmart. You pretty much have to order tires and wait for them anymore. Not that many places carry a big inventory.
\nWe went out for supper after I finished with the tire ordeal (three and a half hours for a predicted one and a half hour wait). When we came out of the restaurant, we decided to take my truck for a spin on the interstate so we could feel and make sure the tires were balanced correctly. And…we had to go to Sam’s.
\nOne of my readers sent a message asking me which exact mattress we purchased (a Queen Size Sealy “Mattress-to-Go” 12” Luxury Memory Foam Mattress) so I went on the Sam’s app to copy the link. And what did I find? The same mattress we paid $499 for, and was delivered to the house the day before, was now $100 cheaper! We discussed it over dinner and decided to go back to Sam’s and complain.
\nThe little gal at the customer service desk was so sweet, but she couldn’t really help us because we ordered the mattress via the .com route and their numbers/system is different than the club’s. She gave me the phone number for the .com people and after being on hold for-ev-er, I was connected to the “Sealy People”. I explained to Gina, the very helpful agent, that I probably wouldn’t say a thing if the mattress was $20 cheaper the next day, but $100 is a little bit hard to swallow.
\nYou know what she did? She said, “I can totally understand. Let me fix that.” I heard the tap-tap-tap of a keyboard in the background. “There! I credited your account the $100. Well, $100 plus tax. Is there anything else I can do for you today?”
\nAre you kidding? It was that easy! I said, “No. But I have to tell you…you made my day!” Kudos to Gina in Customer Service at Sam’s Club. She rocks!
\nWhen we went back out to the truck, I saw something on my front tire. I went in for a close look and there were little areas that looked like the tread was separating from the tire. Neither Mr. FixIt nor I have ever seen something like that, so now I have to take the truck back in this morning and have the tire folks at Walmart have a peek at the tires. It’s always something, isn’t it?
\nThis afternoon I have an appointment at the Ford dealer to have them go over the truck and make sure there’s nothing lurking in the background that needs fixed. I have to give my Ford dealer kudos, as well. They never try to push something unnecessary on me. As a matter of fact, when I had them do this last year, they didn’t even charge me. I love those guys!
\nI’m getting all my ducks in a row so when I head out on the next Grand Adventure, I’ll be confident and secure in my towing equipment. When women travel alone, they should do all their homework ahead of time so there isn’t a crazy rush at the end. I’ve learned this from entirely too much experience, I’m afraid. This is getting exciting!
\n❤️
\n“The prudent see danger and take refuge, but the simple keep going and pay the penalty.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-08-23T01:30:25-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/08/23/freda-the-ford-got-new.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","The Grand Adventure","Growth","Gratitude","Wisdom","Courage","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/08/21/always-choose-joy-unless-you.html", "title": "Always Choose Joy. Unless You Can’t...", "content_html": "Proverbs 22:3 NIV
![\"Compassion](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/7ff59e4aca.jpg\")
“Here’s to the compassionate people!”
I’ve been on a JOY kick all year. Ok. I get it. I just got married in October and I’m full of the feels. But yesterday, I got a reminder that sometimes…no matter how much you WANT to…joy eludes you for an indeterminate amount of time.
\nI belong to a few widow’s support groups on Facebook. I have cockily thought to myself from time to time that I certainly don’t NEED a widow’s support group anymore. That is, until I DO. Then I am ever so grateful for those who share and lift each other up, no matter where they land on the grief/time continuum.
\nThere have been times when I read about the desperate sadness we as the bereaved quite normally go through and my heart breaks for them. I think of all the times I didn’t think I could go on. I think of all the wonderful people who supported and loved me through the most horrific event I have experienced up to this moment in time. There were people I didn’t even know…you readers…who lifted me and helped me move forward, even as I tried to lift others.
\nBut yesterday there was a post that garnered a good deal of pushback and it gave me pause. Basically, this person was saying…just choose joy. That’s a gross simplification, but that was the bottom line. Just choose joy. It made me think about my cheerleading and jumping on the JOY TRAIN and how it may seem dismissive of those who are still in the active throes of grief.
\nIt’s damned hard to find joy when the person who was so much your SOURCE of joy is no longer here. I know this in the core of my being. When I was in my darkest dark place in grief, I truly felt I would never find a glimmer of happiness in this lifetime again…let alone JOY. And yes…you DO have to make a lot of choices in this new normal. One of them is choosing to keep living. Choosing to keep trying. Choosing to keep moving forward no matter HOW hard it is or lonely or heart breaking.
\nWe choose to do this for others….our kids, our parents, our friends…even our person who “would want me to live my life”. Eventually, it is my fervent HOPE that we choose to do this for ourselves.
\nI have been guilty of using the word “choose” a little too blithely, I’m afraid. And if I have, and it has caused you pain, may I offer my humblest apologies. It is not easy to choose when you are in overwhelming pain. It’s not that I forgot this…but maybe I push it a bit too far out of reach to mentor as effectively as I would like to.
\nI want you to have hope. I want you to find joy. I want you to experience good things in your life again. I know it CAN happen…I’m proof. It just needs to happen in its own time. And when you DO experience what passes as joy, it may not look the same as someone else’s and that’s ok. I just wanted you to know…I haven’t forgotten those of you whose hearts are so incredibly crushed. I will strive to always hold a sacred space for you here.
\n❤️
\n“My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-08-21T01:30:25-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/08/21/always-choose-joy-unless-you.html", "tags": ["Faith","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","God","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Choices","Change","Widow","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/08/18/let-the-sun-shine.html", "title": "“Let The Sun Shine...”", "content_html": "Psalm 119:50 NIV
![\"Woodstock\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/f5e6c92329.jpg\")
“The Ubiquitous Photo from Woodstock”
Fifty years ago this weekend, a gazillion people descended on Mr. Yasgur’s New York farm just five hundred miles from where I grew up. What started out as a ticketed music event soon devolved into chaos as tens of thousands of unticketed hippies made their way into the tiny village of Bethel. The festival had already suffered a last minute change of venue and was seriously short on cash, but there came a point where Woodstock took on a life of its own.
\nFifty years have passed. I didn’t go, of course. I was only sixteen and actually didn’t even hear about it till it was on the news. Not that I would have done something so brazen as to defy my parents because I know they never would have allowed me to go. I never even skipped a class in school, let alone run off to a hippy concert five hundred miles away. Still, I marveled at the mass of humanity. And, I liked the music.
\nIt was such a crazy summer…the Summer of ‘69. The Summer of Love. That’s what we called it. But the older generations thought we young people were out of our minds. Sex, drugs, and Rock & Roll. And now look where we are. I saw a meme today. A grandpa was saying he fought in WWII and built his house with his own two hands. His great grandson said, “Sometimes I put a meme on Facebook and it gets a lot of likes.” That is so sad…and unfortunately, all too true.
\nWe didn’t have the internet in 1969. We didn’t have the news on 24/7/365. We didn’t have violent video games. We didn’t have as many latch key kids and no iPad kids or YouTube kids. Dr. Spock was just beginning to tell us how to raise our kids and to never swat their butts or we would bruise their fragile self-esteems. I’ll tell you what, if I sassed back to my parents, they bruised my “self-esteem” with whatever was handy. I did the same with my kids. Nowadays, you can have your kids taken away for that. And they know it.
\nI remember Daughter #1 saying she was going to call Child Protective Services because I wouldn’t let her go to a party. I smiled and recited the number to her. Then I took her car keys. It’s hard to parent now. Having the grandkids over this week with their own little ones made me compare how easy I had it compared to what they are facing. And I didn’t have it all that easy.
\nAfter my first divorce, I was a single mom in Denver. My family lived in West Virginia. I didn’t have anyone I could leave the baby with while I went to work. I had to find child care…and pray they wouldn’t hurt my daughter. I lived in HUD housing, on food stamps and WIC. I drove a beat up old Pontiac that I paid some Iranians $200 for. The hood and the trunk were wired closed with coat hangers. All four sides were dented in. I prayed every day I could get to work so I could take care of us. I didn’t have a smart phone and five sets of grandparents to step in when I was overwhelmed.
\nGod knows, I made plenty of mistakes in those early years. It’s a wonder we made it through. The music of 1969 was five years old before my daughter was born. I look back now in awe. I knew I’d be “old” someday. I just thought it would take longer. Oh, sixty-six isn’t OLD, exactly. I sure feel the difference, just in the last couple of years. Mr. FixIt and I work very hard and it’s taking it’s toll. I hurt in places that never hurt before. It takes me a bit to get moving. But, like my husband says…you’ve got to keep moving or you’ll stop.
\nFifty years since Woodstock…and there’s a real part of me that genuinely feels a little past my prime. However, I’m about to take a brand new camper wherever I want for five months and write about it! Isn’t that just about the coolest thing? I wouldn’t take who I was in 1969 back for anything!
\n“Let the sun shine…let the sun shine in…the sun…shine in!”
\n❤️
\n“I think it is right to refresh your memory as long as I live in the tent of this body,”\n\n \n", "date_published": "2019-08-18T01:30:25-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/08/18/let-the-sun-shine.html", "tags": ["Faith","Colorado","Family","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Fun","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Humbled","Aging","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/08/14/the-farm-is-failing.html", "title": "The Farm is Failing", "content_html": "2 Peter 1:13 NIV
![\"Green](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/9a329f48ca.jpg\")
“The farm is the home of my heart…but it’s aging rapidly.”
Mr. FixIt and I have been back from Colorado for a week now. We talked over the weekend and decided to go to the farm for a couple of days because I haven’t been there since the third week of June. I really miss the farm when I’m away and can’t get there. Then, Monday morning came and there was so much to get done at the Ponderosa. Still…the farm…
\nI decided to bring the dirty laundry and come to the farm on my own for a couple of days. Mr. FixIt is capable of taking care of himself and, while he misses me…he understands my need to be at the farm sometimes. He’s a good guy.
\nThere was a hard rain come through yesterday. I sat on the front porch and watched and it was soon over. The sun came out and the green dazzled my eyes. Everything was so clean and fresh. I sat for the longest time and just scoured the hillside and surrounding area…looking for differences.
\nThe power line coming to the transformer on the pole in front of the house is noticeably drooping down low over the road. A tall vehicle could easily catch that. I’ll have to report it today. Also, the big pine tree on the bank seems to be leaning further out there over the driveway. I pulled up older pictures from the same vantage point to verify both the line and the tree. Something’s going to have to be done with that, too.
\nI noticed Monday afternoon, there’s a wild grape vine on the power line between the house and the cinderblock building. None of that was there before I left for Colorado. This monsoon summer has created an overgrowth the likes of which I have never seen here. It’s like a tropical rain forest.
\nWhen I did a walkabout yesterday, I noticed another tree on the hillside across the creek from the house that has split in half. But it appears the uphill half is actually falling up the hill. That has always been the main concern here. This little holler is so narrow, and the ground is shale and very soft. It wouldn’t take much to bring trees down on this house.
\nMaybe the earth is taking her back. Maybe it’s the natural progression of old farm houses. I do know, to bring this place back to life and prosperity would take far more money than it’s worth. And, a ton…an absolute TON of work. We’re not OLD…but we are 66 and 67. The other day, I told Mr. FixIt…if we were just 30 years younger, we could do so much with this place.
\nI think what I have to do is start saying goodbye to the old home place…in earnest. I know there will come a time when it isn’t safe to stay here without cutting down a bunch of trees…without upgrading the electricity…without shoring up the beams in the basement and the attic. My time here is getting shorter…I can feel it. I’m working on girding my heart in preparation.
\nIt’s like the old man who can tell it’s going to rain by the pain in his knee. The only difference is…this pain is in my heart.
\n❤️
\n“\"Is it a time for you yourselves to dwell in your paneled houses, while this house lies in ruins?”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-08-14T01:30:36-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/08/14/the-farm-is-failing.html", "tags": ["Family","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","West Virginia","The Farm","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","Wisdom","Courage","Aging","Presence","Warning","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/08/12/theres-an-adventure-coming.html", "title": "There’s an Adventure Coming...", "content_html": "Haggai 1:4 ESV
![\"Adventure\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/58fb4a1326.jpg\")
“Where will my next adventure take me???”
I’ve been hinting at an adventure coming up for me this fall and now I can tell you a little more about it. The manufacturer of the R-Pod has just come out with a totally new design…the Model 196. This is the first redesign Forest River has done in the ten years since the R-Pod was first released. And, Forest River has very generously donated the very first Model 196 R-Pod off the line to the Girl Campers for our annual trailer raffle!!! Isn’t that exciting???
\nMy good friend, Janine Pettit, will receive the camper in the next couple of weeks. She will be putting a Girl Camper spin on it with some beautiful interior decor. Then, the camper goes to the Hershey RV Show. Janine and I will be at the show on September 14th for a meet and greet and to show off our Girl Camper version of the new R-Pod. After that, we head to Setzer’s RV in Huntington, WV for the big reveal!
\nAt that point, I take over and get to pull this camper wherever I want till the end of January…which of course means I’ll just HAVE to go where it’s warm over the winter! (And, yes…Mr. FixIt gets to come along…for at least part of the trip!) Stay tuned for lots of fun and excitement in the coming months! In the meantime, here is a sneak peek at the “before” in a video Janine made at the Forest River factory. This is a gorgeous camper and I can hardly wait to get her out there on the open road!!!
\nhttps://www.facebook.com/janine.pettit.5/videos/10157250788233444?s=1219785470&sfns=mo
\n❤️
\n“For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.”\n\n \n", "date_published": "2019-08-12T01:30:05-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/08/12/theres-an-adventure-coming.html", "tags": ["Travel","Uplifting Stories","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Camping","Fun","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Peace","Courage","Girl Camper","Girl Campers","Writing","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/08/05/full-up-to-here.html", "title": "Full Up to Here!", "content_html": "Psalm 91:11-12 NIV
![\"Bumper-to-bumper](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/1645f43e4e.jpg\")
“Sitting in bumper-to-bumper traffic up to Eisenhower Tunnel”
When I first moved to Colorado, Denver was a cow town compared to what it is today. In 1975, the Denver Metro Area consisted of approximately 650,000 people from what I can deduce for a graph I found. The population now is over 3,000,000! And it’s not just the Denver Metro Area. The states population has grown steadily….every single year. It’s crazy!
\nWhen I moved to Glenwood Springs in 1986, there were two stop lights in the entire town. If it took us five minutes to get across town we thought we were in some terrible traffic jam. Now, it doesn’t matter what time of the day it is, traffic everywhere is bumper to bumper.
\nWe left Montrose yesterday morning at 10:30. It took us eight full hours to drive 263 miles to Denver! Clear roads. A little rain around Eagle. The majority of the time spent driving was between Silverthorne and Idaho Springs. The Eisenhower Tunnel is a huge bottleneck and as soon as the toll lane starts around Idaho Springs, things loosened up and we made good time.
\nI thought it was exacerbated by the fact I have lived in the country for the last five years, but everyone here comments on it. And I have to tell you, I have never in my life walked into a Walmart or a mall…anywhere…and had the thought of a mass shooting go through my mind. But last night, we stopped at Walmart on our way to Ben & Sue’s house, and that’s the first thing that came to my mind.
\n“What is that crowd doing hanging around the front entrance?”
\n“Is there going to be trouble here?”
\n“Where is the nearest exit?”
\nI hate that. I hate that chill that went up my spine. I hate that I looked in the faces of those around me and wondered what they were capable of. Then I found myself in the cereal aisle and I heard Mr. FixIt’s friendly banter. He can (and does) speak to anyone.
\n“You only came in for two items? Well…you’ve sure gone over on this trip, huh?”
\nI turned to find a Hispanic woman smiling shyly at him.
\n“Yes…it happens all the time!”
\nI looked in her face and saw kindness and a slight self-deprecation at her inability to stick to a shopping list. And, what I saw was no different than me.
\nI smiled warmly at her and said, “Oh, I do that, too! What’s worse is when I come home and don’t have half of what I came in for in the first place!”
\nThis was a welcome moment in an otherwise horrifying set of current events. I am devastated. I am outraged. And, I will do what I can and not just send thoughts and prayers, although those are flowing fervently. My heart is broken for the victims of yet more violence.
\nWe pack up the truck this morning and say goodbye to to our Colorado peeps and hit the road for West Virginia. Please keep us in your prayers for travel mercies but more importantly, pray for those innocents who were just going about their day.
\n❤️
\n“Strengthen the feeble hands, steady the knees that give way; say to those with fearful hearts, “Be strong, do not fear; your God will come, he will come with vengeance; with divine retribution he will come to save you.””\n\n", "date_published": "2019-08-05T01:30:46-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/08/05/full-up-to-here.html", "tags": ["Faith","Colorado","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","West Virginia","Growth","God","Fear","Courage","Warning","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/08/03/basking-in-the-glow-of.html", "title": "Basking in the Glow of Family", "content_html": "Isaiah 35:3-4 NIV
![\"Sunset](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/b7073fee5b.jpg\")
“The sun goes down on the evening before my baby’s wedding. My heart is full!”
Last night was amazing. Every fear and trepidation I had beforehand dissipated as soon as we pulled into the driveway at Hubby #2’s house. He was so gracious, as was his wife. Their house is stunning. Their dogs are the sweetest things. Daughter #1 and her family were there when we arrived and soon after, my sister- and brother-in-law arrived from Utah. Oh, my gosh! It was so exciting to see them all!
\nJust before dinner, my daughter and her fiancée arrived and we were a complete family. My brother enjoyed everyone and joined in the conversations. It really was perfect. What I learned from this: When you hand things over to God to take care of…you have to let go of it. I knew as I was driving over from Glenwood Springs…this was going to be good. This was going to be very, very good.
\nAfter dinner, Daughter #2 came to me and said, “Mama…I have something for you to do tomorrow. You’re in charge of this…and making sure he has a seat at my wedding.”
\nWith that she handed me a framed photo of Mr. Virgo. She was very close to her stepfather and losing him was so hard on her. The suddenness of seeing his smiling face…so totally unexpected…took my breath away and I started crying. I wasn’t the only one. It was a very special moment and it still makes me tearful as I write this. What a beautiful gesture…what a beautiful God moment….what love…what treasures I have in this family.
\nMy baby is getting married today. My heart is so full! Thank you Jesus for every gift you have given me in this life!
\n❤️
\n“Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame. Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot sweep it away. If one were to give all the wealth of one’s house for love, it would be utterly scorned.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-08-03T01:30:27-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/08/03/basking-in-the-glow-of.html", "tags": ["Faith","Colorado","Family","Travel","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Courage","Choices","Be Joyful!","Widow","Marriage","Wedding"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/08/02/no-worse-for-the-wear.html", "title": "No Worse for the Wear", "content_html": "Song of Songs 8:6-7 NIV
![\"Old](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/80978dfcd7.jpg\")
“While once sleek and shiny, these vehicles still hold a deep beauty.”
We left Ridgway yesterday saying goodbye to our friends, Linda and Jim. We both choked up…goodbyes have always been difficult for me ever since I lost Mr. Virgo. We just don’t know if and when we will meet again and it tears at my heartstrings. I know Linda loves Colorado, but deep down, she has that Ohio farm girl in there somewhere. I loved watching her as she listened to Mr. FixIt’s unmistakable West Virginia accent and she was transported back over the years and the miles to the home of her youth.
\nEven though we didn’t go to the same high school with Linda, we know many of the same people…one of whom is Jeff. He and his wife Julie moved to the Ridgway area a couple of years ago. It’s funny how the webs of friendship cross over. Linda and Jeff were both friends with Cindy (a girl from my class) and that’s how they connected. I am friends with Cindy and that’s how Linda connected with me and the connection with Jeff was made through Linda and because he was on the boy’s gymnastics team while I competed with the girl’s team the same year. And….Mr. FixIt was on that same team with Jeff! See what a teeny tiny world it is? Jeff and Julie joined us for dinner at Linda’s Wednesday night. Mr. FixIt hadn’t seen Jeff in forty-eight years. There were lots of stories and laughs and we all had a grand time.
\nWe drove north out of Ridgway, through Montrose and Olathe (home of Olathe Sweet Corn) and on to Delta. I kept my eyes peeled for a place I found when I was on “The Grand Adventure”…that three month odyssey into the wilderness and backroads after Mr. Virgo died. It’s just a vacant lot on the main drag that’s filled with old, broken down cars and trucks. I don’t know why it attracted me that first time, but I couldn’t wait to show Mr. FixIt.
\nWe were almost to our turnoff to head east over McClure Pass when I saw them. Red vehicles…either from the faded and flaked paint or the rust beneath. Some had their hoods strapped down. Others had holes in the glass from years of being the target of vandals or the errant stone thrown back in the day when they motored down the highways of old. Mr. FixIt caught his breath.
\n“Oh, wow! Would you look at that!” A smile crept across his face and his eyes sparkled like a little boy who just found the coolest treasure stuck on a dusty shelf. I immediately pulled over and threw the truck in park. We jumped out and walked up and down the rows of derelict automobiles resting on their rims because of long ago rotted and airless tires. We peeked in through hazy windows at the scraps of stuffing clinging to the old and rusted springs of the seats inside.
\n“Oh, look! Is that a Nash? A Studebaker? What’s this one? Ford used to make a Cortina. Do you suppose that’s what this one is?” This went on and on as we dodged the large mud holes formed from the afternoon storms we’ve been getting and made our way through the maze of cars.
\nAs I looked at these rusted out hulks, I thought about beauty being in the eye of the beholder. I have to be perfectly honest…I’ve had some trepidation about the wedding this weekend. My daughter’s dad lives in a world I no longer belong to. He’s a doctor, and consequently lives like a doctor in a fine house. With fine friends. And a fine wife. Fine furnishings. Fine food. A fine life. I used to circle in that orbit, although I never really felt a part of that world, although I tried very hard to make myself fit in.
\nI have to admit. I’ve let myself be a little self conscious about my comfortable tummy and my jelly thighs and my granny-wing upper arms knowing ever so painfully how that was judged by those in that orbit. I’ve been praying about it a lot. And God whispered to me as I wandered amongst these vehicles what were once sleek and shiny and new.
\n“You don’t have to fear that world. You don’t have to feel bad for the way you fit in your body all comfy-like. You don’t have to concern yourself with what anyone else thinks of you….just remember I love you. Completely. Just the way you are. Just love them all the way I love you.”
\nYou see…the very act of feeling self conscious and judged puts me in a place where I’m being the judge. I don’t know what’s in their hearts and minds. A lot of water has gone under the bridge since those days so long ago when I circled around that orbit. It’s a foreign land to me now. I have no reason to feel “less than” anyone. I can walk right in, on the arm of a man I adore and who adores me right back. We’ve created a life that fits us perfectly and we’re perfectly happy.
\nIt’s all about love, trust, letting go, and letting God take care of the details. I’m comfortable in this life, this body…no matter where I go or who I run into. None of this is about me anyway. It’s totally about my daughter and her joy anyway. Yes…it’s all about love!
\n❤️
\n“Yet you, Lord, are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand. Do not be angry beyond measure, Lord; do not remember our sins forever. Oh, look on us, we pray, for we are all your people.” Isaiah 64:8-9 NIV\n \n", "date_published": "2019-08-02T01:30:06-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/08/02/no-worse-for-the-wear.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Travel","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Positive Energy","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Courage","Aging","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!","Widow","Wedding"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/08/01/morning-visitors.html", "title": "Morning Visitors", "content_html": "
![\"Turkeys\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/a968b159e3.jpg\")
“Morning visitors on Loghill.”
Yesterday was my ME day. I told Linda when we arrived that honestly all I was looking for was her company and a little R&R. We’ve been running around like crazy and I just needed to sit and visit on their beautiful deck overlooking these amazing mountains. I knitted and we all laughed and had a wonderful time. We couldn’t believe it when it was 1:00 and we hadn’t done a thing.
\nWe were sitting on the the deck and heard something down below. I went and peeked over the edge and there were turkeys walking through the gravel drive below. These guys were huge. We’ve seen a lot of deer….even a little spotty baby bounding around. The first night, I woke up about 2:30 in the morning and wanted a little nosh. There was nothing in the camper, so I needed to go in the house. As I was climbing out of the bed, Mr. FixIt woke up.
\nHim: “Where are you going?”
\nMe: “I need some cereal.”
\nHim:
\nMe: “Do you think there might be bears out there?”
\nHim: “There could be.”
\nMe:
\nMe:
\nMe: “I’m not going.”
\nHim: “Ok.”
\nMe:
\nMe: “Drat! I’m hungry…I’m going.”
\ncoyote howling outside camper
\nMe: “Come after me if I’m not back in five minutes!”
\nHim: zzzzzzz
\nLast night, I brought my cereal with me in the first place. There be beasts about!
\n❤️
\n“...who teaches us more than he teaches the beasts of the earth and makes us wiser than the birds in the sky?’”\n\n \n", "date_published": "2019-08-01T01:30:06-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/08/01/morning-visitors.html", "tags": ["Colorado","Travel","Overcoming Obstacles","Camping","Fun","Gratitude","Peace","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/07/25/a-glimpse-of-heaven.html", "title": "A Glimpse of Heaven", "content_html": "Job 35:10-11 NIV
![\"A](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/feef1d3d12.jpg\")
“A Glimpse of Heaven in the Colorado Night Sky”
I knew this would happen. I blinked and a month flew by. I left on this journey exactly four weeks ago. Time is such a weird thing after loss. On the one hand…it flies. On the other…it stands still. I got some quality time with my Colorado family. Mr. FixIt has been here almost two weeks already. The package I’ve been expecting for my brother arrived yesterday so now we can pack up and go off on a little adventure on our own before the wedding.
\nGrandma L. is still hanging in there. She is such a strong woman. She rallies and fades, rallies and fades. They moved her from her apartment at assisted living to a skilled nursing facility on Monday. She had a dream on Tuesday night. At least, she thinks it was a dream. She was lying in bed and her legs felt like stone. But then, she was standing up…strong and vital. She looked around it was so glorious. She saw a crevice and knew she was supposed to jump over it. She knew she COULD. She didn’t see Grandpa right off, but she knew she could find him easily. Instead, she decided to come back and tell us all how absolutely peaceful and grand it is. I love that she could see it all so clearly and she isn’t afraid.
\nI know she might pass away while we are gone, but I didn’t want to wear her out by adding to the number of visitors going to see her. There are other closer relatives who need to spend time with her. I was able to hug on her last Saturday at her birthday party and she absolutely knows how I feel about her. Her absence will leave a gaping hole for quite some time in the lives of those who knew and loved her.
\nWe all went out for supper last night after they moved everything out of Grandma’s apartment at the assisted living place. There were twelve of us. As I walked back to the table with my food, I paused for a moment and gazed over this beautiful family my daughter was so fortunate to marry into. Another part of my bonus family. We are so blessed…with kids and their kids and us grandparents. We are becoming the matriarchs. I thought it would take longer.
\nMr. FixIt and I will head out today for a week of touring the state. We were supposed to do this with the camper, but it’ll all work out without it. I love showing him places he’s never been! So…here we go on another road trip, y’all. Hang on!
\n❤️
\n“Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-07-25T01:30:08-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/07/25/a-glimpse-of-heaven.html", "tags": ["Faith","Colorado","Family","Travel","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Aging","Choices","Change","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/07/22/finding-hope.html", "title": "Finding Hope", "content_html": "2 Corinthians 4:16-18 NIV
![\"Rainbow\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/3b25e386f0.jpg\")
“God’s promise.”
There have been so many times in my life when I felt I had no hope. I didn’t know about spiritual warfare. I didn’t know the enemy was the one whispering the lies about me into my heart and mind. My life had long stretches of darkness and it wasn’t until I became a Christian that I started to see light at the end of the tunnel.
\nWe went to church yesterday and took Little with us. We sat with our friend Rick and his wife Connie. The pastor is preaching a series on the elements and yesterday was about the wind. And hope. He focused on Ezekiel and the valley of the dry bones. As far as Ezekiel could see, the valley floor was covered with dry, sun-bleached bones. This represented the dried up, faithless Israelites. The Lord asked Ezekiel to speak to the dry bones. To tell them to listen to the Word of the Lord. When he did this, the bones started to rattle and come together. Tendons and muscle and skin formed and soon, they looked like you and me. But they had no life. No inner spark of hope. When Ezekiel told God he had only been halfway successful, God breathed his breath upon the bodies and they came alive and rose as a mighty army.
\nI know what those bodies felt like. I was dry and sun-bleached in my bones for such a long time. And, when I surrendered, God blew His breath…His Spirit…into me and I rose up like a mighty warrior. Whenever I begin to feel less hopeful, I look for the wind. Mr. FixIt remarked the other day…it never seems terribly hot here in Colorado. Even when the temperature nears triple digits. The reason is two-fold. The humidity is low. And there is always a breeze. You can feel it across the hairs on your arms. And when a wisp of your hair blows across your face. You can see it in the trees and grasses of the field. You can watch it even high above the earth as the clouds in the sky scud along.
\nWhen I look for the wind, I can see the breath of God as he works over us…his children. Even when I don’t see God’s promises in my current circumstances, I know He is there…working in the background. Even in my darkest moments…during the years of depression and the overdose, during a painful divorce, during the grief I suffered after losing Mr. Virgo…He was feverishly working to turn these terrible situations into something He could use for His Glory.
\nFinding hope in today’s world can be so terribly difficult. It is easy to lose hope and see no way out. If you can just remember to feel the wind on your skin and focus on some good thing in your life, you can ignite hope within your soul. Even the smallest ember can be fanned into a flame when you seek and use the Breath of God.
\n❤️
\n“The hand of the Lord was on me, and he brought me out by the Spirit of the Lord and set me in the middle of a valley; it was full of bones. He led me back and forth among them, and I saw a great many bones on the floor of the valley, bones that were very dry. He asked me, “Son of man, can these bones live?” I said, “Sovereign Lord, you alone know.” Then he said to me, “Prophesy to these bones and say to them, ‘Dry bones, hear the word of the Lord! This is what the Sovereign Lord says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life. I will attach tendons to you and make flesh come upon you and cover you with skin; I will put breath in you, and you will come to life. Then you will know that I am the Lord.’ ” So I prophesied as I was commanded. And as I was prophesying, there was a noise, a rattling sound, and the bones came together, bone to bone. I looked, and tendons and flesh appeared on them and skin covered them, but there was no breath in them. Then he said to me, “Prophesy to the breath; prophesy, son of man, and say to it, ‘This is what the Sovereign Lord says: Come, breath, from the four winds and breathe into these slain, that they may live.’ ” So I prophesied as he commanded me, and breath entered them; they came to life and stood up on their feet—a vast army. Then he said to me: “Son of man, these bones are the people of Israel. They say, ‘Our bones are dried up and our hope is gone; we are cut off.’ Therefore prophesy and say to them: ‘This is what the Sovereign Lord says: My people, I am going to open your graves and bring you up from them; I will bring you back to the land of Israel. Then you, my people, will know that I am the Lord, when I open your graves and bring you up from them. I will put my Spirit in you and you will live, and I will settle you in your own land. Then you will know that I the Lord have spoken, and I have done it, declares the Lord.’ ””\n\n \n", "date_published": "2019-07-22T01:30:13-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/07/22/finding-hope.html", "tags": ["Faith","Health","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Presence","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!","Monday Morning Motivation"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/07/20/hand-it-over.html", "title": "Hand it Over", "content_html": "Ezekiel 37:1-14 NIV
![\"2](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/45c9d08a2f.jpg\")
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline. 2 Timothy 1:7”
I have struggled with anxiety all of my life. It’s so, so frustrating because I know what it is. I know the feelings are real, but they stem from thoughts. I have a whole toolbox of techniques that I’ve used over the years…some helpful, some decidedly harmful, all of them ineffective to a large degree. It wasn’t until I started studying the Bible looking for answers that I have begun to find some semblance of relief.
\nI was reading a devotional about anxiety and fear this week and came across something I had never read before but it really struck home. It talked about a secondary effect of anxiety becoming “a fear of fear itself”. That sums it up so distinctly. I really HATE feeling afraid…to the point of fearing the fear. Suddenly, it just all seemed so ridiculous.
\nThe Bible talks a lot about fear and anxiety. So much so that it is apparent these feelings are prevalent in all humans to some degree. For years…decades…I felt weird about my anxiety. Like there was something wrong with me. That I was somehow flawed and no one else had these feelings. Knowing I’m not alone…even Joshua and Mary and countless others were told by God to not be afraid. That is so comforting to me.
\nI am excited about the upcoming wedding in two weeks. I’m thrilled for my daughter and her happiness. And, it’s hard to tease out the difference between the butterflies of excitement and the quaking of anxiety. It affects me physically the same and my mind can easily take off on a wild tangent which isn’t anywhere I really want to go.
\nThis most recent Bible study I read says whenever the first feelings of anxiety or fear begin to come into your mind, think of a praise instead. Turn on praise music. Sing a praise song. Thank Jesus for waking you up this morning. What I’ve been doing is telling God about all the beautiful things we’re going to do the day of the wedding. I’ve been telling Him about the pretty dresses the girls are wearing. And all the people we’re going to see that we love and don’t get to see often enough. I’ve invited Him to come along with me and to be there right alongside each of us.
\nThere’s so much in life that can change plans at the last minute. There are illnesses in families or some other unforeseen circumstances that you can’t predict. It doesn’t help to be nervous or worried, but it’s hard not to be. As Jesus said, God takes care of the birds and the fields…surely He’ll take good care of us…even in our worst moments.
\nI hand things over…repeatedly. And, it does get easier and easier to remember to give it to God first before I let my mind jump on the worry train and go off the rails. There will always be something you can worry about. That’s how the enemy steals your joy. And, there are situations in life that you can’t help but let affect you. Things like watching a loved one decline. Losing someone or something special. An unexpected diagnosis or financial difficulty. God wants to walk those paths with you. Reach out your hand and take His. He’s so much bigger than anything that troubles you.
\n❤️
\n“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-07-20T01:30:30-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/07/20/hand-it-over.html", "tags": ["Faith","Health","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Growth","Grace","God","Peace","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Humbled","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/07/12/saying-goodbye-to-towwanda.html", "title": "Saying Goodbye to TOW-Wanda!", "content_html": "Philippians 4:6-7 NIV
![\"Camper\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/3d31846cc1.jpg\")
“TOW-Wanda…being towed away to her new life with a boy.”
Night before last, I put the camper on Facebook Marketplace at 10:00. It sold in thirty minutes! And, there were thirty people right behind the guy I sold it to, ready to step up and pay cash. I was shocked. I was forthright in explaining the camper needed work or would be perfect for a backyard she shed, writer’s nook, guest quarters, or kids playhouse. Still, the price and “camper” were enough to bring everyone out of the woodwork seeking a deal.
\nThe first person who said he wanted it was a guy who just got married on the 8th. He was so excited to get the camper, he was knowledgeable and fully understood what it was going to take to get her fixed. He wanted to fix up TOW-Wanda so he could take his son camping. He took a picture and sent it to his dad. Then he FaceTimed with his son and I could hear their excitement.
\nThis guy knew campers. He knew what it would take to really fix her right. I am so glad about that because I was worried someone who didn’t really know about them might get it and not heed my warnings and try to tow it to the mountains. We had a long talk. We negotiated a price that was fair and acceptable to us both. I told him, I could see God’s hand all over this. For me…to learn a valuable lesson about inspecting campers well before you buy them. And for him…to affordably get into a camper that he has the skills to fix so that he can be a good dad to his son.
\nYes…I lost money on the deal. But, no one got hurt…just my pride. And there’s a little boy out there who is going to be one happy camper when he gets to go out in the mountains with his dad. There is no price tag on the making of a man.
\n❤️
\n“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”\n\n \n", "date_published": "2019-07-12T01:30:35-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/07/12/saying-goodbye-to-towwanda.html", "tags": ["Travel","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","TOW-Wanda!","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Humbled","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/06/30/americas-bread-basket-is-baking.html", "title": "America’s Bread Basket is Baking!", "content_html": "Jeremiah 29:11 NIV
![\"Snaps](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/4eae21c471.jpg\")
“Clockwise from top left: My rig in the summer sun in Kansas, the long straight stretch that is Kansas…look how green!, my digital laser thermometer that I use to check my hub temperatures at every stop, me looking decidedly fresher in the AM than I was by evening!”
You know you are getting into farm and ranch land when you start seeing billboards advertising bovine genetics and DEKALB seed corn. I left the Lazy Day Campground in Danville, Missouri yesterday morning about 8:00. It was a very long, very HOT day. A section of I-70 was closed at Kansas City so I took the recommended detour. I recognized it as the route I usually take anyway to avoid downtown. There is one interchange on the interstate near the city where you have to get from the right hand side onramp to a left hand side exit in less than 1/4 mile. Pulling a camper makes that a real challenge, let me tell you!!! At least it wasn’t with big TOW-Wanda on a Friday night at rush hour. We have to look for the little things!
\nWhen I was emptying the tanks on the camper before I left yesterday, it wasn’t 8:00 yet and the sun would take the hide right off of you. The temperature quickly soared to the high 90’s and by the time I was halfway through Kansas, it was 100. The low was only expected to go down to 80 so I stopped and got a hotel room. When I first got in the room, I cranked up the air conditioner and stretched out on the bed. I texted Mr. FixIt and said, “I am NEVER doing this again!!!” He texted back that I don’t have to. I’m holding him to it!
\nOk, it was the third day. It was hard. It was hot. I was tired and probably a little hungry and dehydrated. And knowing I have over 350 more miles to go had me feeling really sorry for myself there for a few minutes. But, once I rested for a while and got something to eat and drink, I felt a ton better. When I stop tonight, it’s going to be at my son-in-law’s parents’ house so I’ll be with family. It’s going to take me a week to rest up and acclimate to the altitude. Mr. FixIt will join me on the 13th so that time will pass quickly.
\nI had a lot of time to think about this as I was driving yesterday. I don’t like being this far away from Mr. FixIt. I thought about that from every angle. I asked myself if it was co-dependency. I don’t think it’s that at all. I do all kinds of things without him and I don’t need to be attached at the hip. I talked with my dear friend Deneene about this last night. She lost her husband unexpectedly about a year after Mr. Virgo died. She is also recently remarried. We decided it’s not co-dependency at all. It’s the fact that we KNOW what can happen and how quickly it can come. I don’t think it’s that I’m doing something without him. It’s that I’m doing something so far away from him and I can’t get to him quickly. THAT I don’t like at all.
\nStill, it is fun in many ways. I’ve seen some beautiful countryside. The sky was blue and wide open. I’ve forgotten what that looks like living in West Virginia. (I took the picture while driving but my phone was in a cradle and all I did was touch the screen. No eyes off the road for me!) I don’t have anything pressing to do once I get to Denver so I can relax and catch up on my rest, keep myself really hydrated to counteract the altitude, knit, write, and visit with my Colorado peeps. I could not believe how green Kansas is. They had the same long, drawn out, wet spring everyone else had. It is so hard to believe the temperature is in the high 90’s in Colorado and one week ago they had two feet of snow. Crazy weather!
\nOh, see that picture bottom right? That’s my digital laser thermometer. After burning up an axle in Indiana two summer ago, I check my hubs religiously…every time I stop and get out of the truck. I know you can just put your hand down there and feel if it’s hot, but how hot is too hot and if it IS that hot, you’ll burn the heck out of your hand. I keep watch on it and it’s always between 100-110. That’s perfect. If it goes up, it means the bearings need grease.
\nWell, I’m on the last leg of this Grand Adventure. The last leg of the first part of it, anyway! It’s just me and Jesus…making our way west!
\n❤️
\n“….“The Lord watch between you and me, when we are out of one another’s sight.”
\nGenesis 31:49 ESV
\n#Separation, #Marriage, #Adventure
\n", "date_published": "2019-06-30T01:30:10-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/06/30/americas-bread-basket-is-baking.html", "tags": ["Faith","Travel","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","The Grand Adventure","Fun","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Aging","Choices","Change","Widow","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/06/29/travel-lotsa-learnin-goin-on.html", "title": "Travel: Lotsa Learnin’ Goin’ On Here!", "content_html": "![\"Good](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/b74762fda5.jpg\")
“I use a French press a lot when I camp. I have a manual grinder, too.”
So, yesterday morning I took my time waking up. I do that when I travel. My Bible app has a year long study where you read the whole bible in a year. With the trip to Florida, being sick, and getting ready for this trip, I was thirteen days behind. I don’t like to get behind on that one because there’s a good deal to read every day. I spent a little extra time reading while I enjoyed a tasty cup of coffee. I chatted with Mr. FixIt for a while. I finally got on the road about 10:00.
\nThe drive was uneventful. I usually drive in silence because I do my best thinking when I drive. But I wanted to listen to music so I pulled into a rest area and tried to figure out how to connect my phone to the sound system on the truck. It took me a few tries but soon I was bebopping down the highway listening to some praise music.
\nAround 3:00, I pulled into another rest area and stretched out in front of my hillbilly air conditioner again. When I was almost to St. Louis, Mr. FixIt called. We were chatting as the GPS took me around the city. Still…it was 5:00…on a Friday…in June! Heck of a time to go through there. I wasn’t on the phone long because I needed to concentrate.
\nSuddenly, two things happened. I noticed the sky got really dark all of a sudden. And, Mavis…my GPS persona…announce I-70 was closed. Closed? Are you kidding me? How do you close a whole interstate. I had to make some quick decisions but the weather did it for me. The sky opened and I was suddenly driving through what looked like a car wash.
\nI quickly pulled off the highway and into a Denny’s parking lot. I ran through the rain and jumped in the camper. I pulled my vegetable lasagna out of my 12v slow cooker and ate dinner while I watched both an amazing lightning show as well as a band of bright red storms march toward me on the Weather Channel radar.
\nI looked through the Good Sam Camping Guide and found a campground on the other side of St. Louis. I called and they had one site left. I should have called yesterday morning but I honestly forgot it was Friday. I seldom make reservations when I travel and so far I have never lacked a place to stay.
\nBefore long, the storm was past me and I got back behind the wheel. The detour took about an hour because it was bumper to bumper stop and go traffic for 19 miles. I arrived at the campground and registered. They showed me to my site and it’s perfectly lovely. When I was at Walmart yesterday, I bought a replacement shower head for my camper. I installed it after I arrived last night. Easy peasy. And, the hot water heater worked! Imagine that! We hadn’t even tried it out yet.
\nAs soon as I could, I jumped in that teeny tiny little shower. It was easier to FIX the shower than it was to TAKE one! Once I was all done, I felt like a million bucks. If you look at the map, I am almost exactly at the halfway point. That’s great…but I still have a long way to go! I’m not going to try to make it to Colorado tomorrow. I’ll take it easy and stop in western Kansas or eastern Colorado.
\nLearned a lot of things today. 1) Make reservations if your camping on a Friday. 2) Pay closer attention to the calendar. 3) Check further ahead for weather and road conditions. 4) Changing a shower head is easy. 5) Listening to praise music is a great prep tool for stressful circumstances!
\nEnjoy your Saturday!
\n❤️
\n“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.”\n\n \n", "date_published": "2019-06-29T01:30:17-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/06/29/travel-lotsa-learnin-goin-on.html", "tags": ["Travel","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","TOW-Wanda!","Gratitude","Grace","Peace","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Humbled","Aging","Presence","Choices","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/06/28/road-trip-cant-keep-a.html", "title": "Road Trip: Can’t Keep a Good Gal Down!", "content_html": "James 1:2-4 ESV
![\"A](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/e7be9cfe72.jpg\")
“A Shady Spot”
If you would have asked me at 10:00 Wednesday night, I would have told you (as I told you this morning) there was NO WAY I was going to leave for Colorado yesterday morning. Ahhhh…but, once I got past the icky stomach, took my tummy medicine, and slept a solid eight hours, it was a whole different ballgame.
\nBecause I was getting up and down, I slept in the guest room so I wouldn’t wake up Mr. FixIt. I awoke before dawn…around 5:00…and felt great. I read my devotionals and caught up on some correspondence then my sweetheart came to check on me around 7:00. I met him with a big smile and said I was good to go! He smiled back with relief. He doesn’t like it when I’m sick anymore that the other way around.
\nIt took a couple of hours to finish packing the truck and camper and I was on the road by 9:00. My first stop was Walmart to pick up a few things. I had some things to return. I got back to the camper and put away my purchases and got in the truck. There were my return items sitting on the front seat. Oy! I really didn’t want to cart them to Colorado so I went back in and stood in a long, slow line. But, it’s done and I was out before too long.
\nThe next and final stop was gas and a great big drink to stay hydrated on my trip. The young gal behind the counter was very excited because she is leaving on vacation today. Her very first camping trip! Well, I turned right back around and talked with her for awhile! I sure hope she has a grand time and decides to keep right on camping! Those first few camping trips are critical. You’ll either love it or hate it.
\nIt was really hot yesterday and about midway through my drive, I pulled over into a rest area to stretch out on my bed. Well, it was over 90 degrees! Of course, when you pull into a rest area, there’s no electricity, so no AC. You need to improvise. The last time I drove cross country alone, I stopped in Kansas for a rest and needed to do something to cool off. I had a tiny little battery fan and a cold pack from the freezer. It worked ever so slightly, but it wasn’t long before the cold pack was melted and that was the end of that.
\nWhen I was at Walmart yesterday, I bought two 10” fans that are powered by fan and batteries. I’ve also taken to carrying a very large bottle of water that I keep in the freezer of the camper. Went I stretched out on my bed yesterday, I sat the large frozen container in a basin and put the fan behind it. I also had three water bottles I had frozen. I set them up in front of the other fan. I positioned myself in front of the cool air and had a lovely mini siesta. Perfect! I popped all the bottles back in the freezer before I pulled back on the highway.
\n![\"Hillbilly](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/32137ec665.jpg\")
“Hillbilly Air Conditioner!”
That right there is a little hillbilly ingenuity. Appalachians are a resourceful lot. I arrived at my favorite little campground in Richmond, Indiana at around 5:30…had supper from my slow cooker and enjoyed the beautiful surroundings as the sun went down. I tried to keep from turning on the AC, but it was still 85 degrees at 8:00 and I was done with the heat by that time. I’ve never slept all night with the AC on in this little camper. It’s pretty noisy in this tiny little space.
\nI wrote early last night so I could have a good solid night’s sleep. Yesterday was a long day, but I didn’t get very far. That’s usually how it works on the first day out. For me, anyway. I monitored all the systems on the camper and the truck and everything worked just as it should so I don’t foresee any difficulties. As always, I say my prayers for travel mercies. I appreciate when you do, as well.
\nHave a beautiful Friday!!!
\n❤️
\n“Guard me, O Lord, from the hands of the wicked; preserve me from violent men, who have planned to trip up my feet.”\n\n \n", "date_published": "2019-06-28T01:30:19-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/06/28/road-trip-cant-keep-a.html", "tags": ["Faith","Travel","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","TOW-Wanda!","The Grand Adventure","Fun","Growth","Gratitude","Love","Peace","Courage","Choices","Change","Widow","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/06/24/the-simple-things.html", "title": "The Simple Things", "content_html": "Psalms 140:4 ESV
![\"Tractor](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/2dba29f93e.jpg\")
“My birthday present…a shade for the tractor!”
Mr. FixIt and I were in Florida on my birthday. Like most men…smart men, anyway…he wanted me to tell him what I would like for my birthday. I told him, if I were younger, I would dearly love to have a chainsaw. He smiled. I told him all the great things I would do with a chain saw. The only thing is, I don’t have the upper body strength to do much with a chain saw anymore. So it was a rather moot point.
\nI couldn’t think of anything else. I don’t need tchotchkes. I like to buy my own clothes. I don’t need jewelry or anything fancy. Experiences are the best, but I was even drawing a blank for that. Finally, I told him there would come a moment when I would know exactly what I would like to have for my birthday and he could buy it then.
\nAfter church yesterday, we stopped at Lowes to pick up some dust masks so I can mow without worrying about getting another sinus infection. While we were there, I turned to Mr. FixIt.
\n“Do they make some sort of umbrella or something to put on the riding mower so when I’m out mowing, I’m not sitting out in the hot sun?”
\n“I’m sure they do, sweetheart. Let’s go look.”
\nWe came around the corner to the riding mower display and there, before my very eyes, was exactly what I wanted! My husband always looks at me in a rather bemused way…as though I’m some sort of strange and exotic creature he’s never seen before. And, I suppose in a way, I am. He has never known a woman who would want a sunshade for the riding mower as her birthday present.
\nWhen we got home, he put my shade together and…unfortunately…there was a piece that was broken on it. I managed to fiddle with it and made it work yesterday while I was mowing, but we will return it for one that isn’t broken. It worked really well. The only think is, you have to be really careful when you are going under trees because the low hanging limbs will knock it down.
\nWhen I finished mowing, I came around the corner and Mr. FixIt was in the pool cleaning it out so that when I was done, I could take a refreshing dip. What a sweet man! Afterward, we went to the local pizza joint. We ran into my cousins and visited with them while we ate. It was a perfect, sunny summer day. My grandma would have declared we are “knee deep in June.” She would have been absolutely correct!
\n❤️
\n“While the earth remains, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night, shall not cease.\"”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-06-24T01:30:28-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/06/24/the-simple-things.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Fun","Gratitude","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Aging","Choices","Be Joyful!","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/06/15/facebook-memories.html", "title": "Facebook Memories", "content_html": "Genesis 8:22 ESV
![\"Home](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/ec2fffce65.jpg\")
“The Storm King House”
Oh, sometimes those memories that pop up on your timeline are killers, aren’t they? On my birthday, five years ago, I put my Colorado house on the market. I bought this house when Hubby #2 and I split up. It was about a third built and I chose my colors, carpeting, cabinets and countertops, and all the plumbing and lighting fixtures. Even though Daughter #2 was only eleven years old, she spent three weeks at a time with each of us. It was, essentially, the first time I’d ever lived sort of alone.
\nI was so proud of the house. I did the landscaping myself…laying sod, planting trees and flowers. This was before the days of “TOW-Wanda” so my little house was my sanctuary. I decorated like girls lived there…because, they did. I had green and white striped sofas and lots of florals. No TV. The antique rolltop desk that my uncle left to me when he died sat where an entertainment center was supposed to go.
\nI didn’t have curtains. I needed all the light I could get. I loved that house. Then, Mr. Virgo came along. Six months after he moved into the house, he diplomatically asked if I had ever given any thought to redecorating. I think the fru-fru girly stuff was getting to his mountain man sensibilities. I acquiesced and when we were married, we got rid of all the furniture and started over.
\nA friend of mine was moving to Hilton Head and didn’t want to take the furniture from her million dollar house, so I bought about $25,000 worth of furniture from her for $4,000. We painted the first floor living area as loft gold, hung tapestry valances, and brought in the new furniture. We had the painting behind the dining room table done by a Colorado artist. And we found the breakfast table and chairs at a local furniture store.
\nI felt so….grown up. All this sophisticated furniture with my homey touches of family antiques filled my heart. I really, REALLY loved my house.
\nThen Mr. Virgo died. We had just refinanced the house five months before he died. In order to give us flexibility with payments, we went with a thirty year mortgage with the understanding we would pay it off quickly when we were flush and still stay afloat on the lean months. Now I was faced with a tenth of the income and a mortgage that wouldn’t be paid off till I was ninety years old!
\nI quickly began to hate the house. It needed new carpet, new windows, new appliances, new paint. It was nickel and dime-ing me to death. And there were memories around every corner. I couldn’t stand it. I stayed away as much as I could. They tell you not to make any major decisions in the first year after losing your spouse. So, I waited till the next summer and decided to sell.
\nI wouldn’t change a thing, really. I made my decisions based on what I was faced with in the moment. I suppose, maybe I could have kept the house and rented it out, but that just presents a whole different set of problems. We went through that when we rented it out for three years while we worked around the state. In reality, it would have been cumbersome.
\nDo I miss it? I don’t know…I look at these pictures and remember how beautiful it was. I remember all my stuff I had in it. I think the thing I miss the most is that great front porch. But that is not the life I live now. That was then. This is now. I have a life now that I wouldn’t trade for the world. And, when we build our retirement home, we can make it any way we want it. And I’ll have a big front porch just like this one. That’s the one thing I’ll ask for special.
\nFacebook Memories….sometimes they blindside you. Sometimes they show you’re right where you’re supposed to be.
\n❤️
\n“For every house is built by someone, but God is the builder of everything.” Hebrews 3:4 NIV\n", "date_published": "2019-06-15T01:30:16-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/06/15/facebook-memories.html", "tags": ["Colorado","Family","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Growth","Gratitude","Wisdom","Courage","Downsizing","Choices","Change","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/06/13/happy-birthday.html", "title": "Happy Birthday!", "content_html": "
![\"Night](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/bc2e7772e8.jpg\")
“Happy Birthday, to ME!”
June is my birthday month.
\nI love June. I love my birthday. So I just combine them and celebrate the whole month!
\nAfter sleeping twelve hours straight on Tuesday night, Mr. FixIt and I went down to the beach and walked then played in the pool for a while. After lunch, I took a three hour nap. Seeing a trend there? It’s all about ME ‘cause it’s my birthday month!
\nJust as I woke up, Mr. FixIt walked in to make sure I didn’t sleep too long and not be able to sleep later. Then he asked me that question every woman longs to hear.
\n“How would you like to go eat ice cream for dinner?”
\nBack off girls…I saw him first!
\nYes, ladies…I have married the perfect man. Not only does he celebrate my birthday with me for a month…but he also takes me out for an ice cream dinner. Sexiest man alive.
\nAfter a dinner of butter pecan in a chocolate dipped waffle cone, we drove around. We shopped at a couple of Mr. FixIt’s stores. We found Aldi’s and picked up a few groceries. Wonderful strawberries for a dollar.
\nA simple day…Birthday Eve.
\nToday is my actual birthday.
\nSixty-six. Wow. Why does it sound so much older than sixty-five?
\nSome of the grandchildren were over Monday evening before we left. I told them how old I was going to be.
\n“Sixty-six! Can you believe that? It has been half a century since I was sixteen! Half a century!!! You know that’s fifty years, right???”
\nMy wise grandson-in-law said, “Did it go fast?”
\nHow do you answer that? Yes…it flew by in a nanosecond! No, it lasted forever! It’s both.
\nIt’s the coolest thing…to be sixteen plus fifty. I was sixteen in 1969…the summer of love. “God Bless Pink Summers ‘69!” That’s how my best friend signed her letters when she was off at a summer internship. Woodstock. Rock and Roll. Hippies. Bell bottoms. Long hair.
\nI thought I was free.
\nI was so wrong.
\nIt took living those fifty years to actually BECOME free. Funny how that works. I’d hate to have gone through all that and not learned the beautiful, hard, gritty, wonderful lessons involved.
\nSixty-six. Nope, that doesn’t bother me a bit.
\nI’m a crone now. I love that!
\nHappy Birthday to ME!
\n❤️
\n““ ‘ “The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace.” ’” Numbers 6:24-26 NIV\n", "date_published": "2019-06-13T01:30:17-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/06/13/happy-birthday.html", "tags": ["Faith","Travel","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Fun","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Aging","Choices","Change","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/06/06/one-hour-thirtyfive-dollars-a.html", "title": "One Hour \u0026 Thirty-Five Dollars = A Haircut", "content_html": "
![\"Woman](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/ba77f941e9.jpg\")
“Before and After…what a difference a haircut makes!”
I haven’t really felt like my perky self for a while. Nothing I could really put my finger on. Maybe a little tired. Maybe a little down about aging. I’ve been losing weight but avoiding the mirror. It didn’t really dawn on me till I saw pictures from the baptism a couple of weeks ago and I was up on the stage with my bonus granddaughter. Gasp! I looked SO old! I looked like my grandma. Not that that is a bad thing, but I’m talking in her 80’s. I was in desperate need of a haircut!
\nI always celebrate birthday month…not just a week or a weekend or a day. Nope…I was born in June…I celebrate JUNE! This month I turn 66. It’s only a number. I have more energy than I did at half my age. I remember when I turned 26. I was SO depressed! It had been a WHOLE DECADE since I got my driver’s license. Give me a break! Now it’s been half a century since I got my driver’s license. insert eye roll here
\nNo, it wasn’t my actual calendar age that was getting to me. It was my hair. I got lazy. I got tired of going in every six weeks and getting it cut. I got tired of sometimes having the perfect cut and other times wondering what went wrong. I got tired of spending the money on something that you just have to do over and over and over.
\nIt’s not my fault really. I saw beautiful older women on Pinterest…long flowing locks of silver hair caressing unnaturally perky breasts. Stylishly dressed. Leaning against brick buildings in downtown New York City….their jacket carelessly draped across their shoulders…their chunky boho jewelry and oversized sunglasses deflecting my gaze from anything that could barely be called crepe-y skin. No…Pinterest assured me I would look uber chic with long, silver hair.
\nThen, I took a look at myself and wondered what on earth possessed me to do such a thing. Me…in my JCPenney sleeveless summer dress made from t-shirt material. Me…of the ample upper arms and comfortable tummy. Me…of the “I know I have makeup SOMEWHERE in this house!” Me…of the Chacos and farmer tan and clip-on sunglasses and floppy brimmed had and a riding mower. Yeah…it was time for a reality check.
\nI called Michelle on Tuesday and cried uncle. I said, “You win! I’m coming in to cut it off!” I’m almost sure I heard an audible sigh of relief from the other end of the phone. “How’s tomorrow at 11:00?” She didn’t want to wait too long for fear I might change my mind.
\nAn hour. Thirty-five dollars. That’s all it took to bring back my sparkle. It’s really true…if you LOOK good, you FEEL good. I walked out of there feeling like a million bucks! It’s such a simple thing…getting a haircut. Oh, and a pedi. A MUCH needed pedi. I hadn’t had a “Me Day” for such a long time. It was way overdue and I feel so much better.
\nI sent the before and after photos to Mr. FixIt with a note…”Here’s the girl you fell in love with!” And you wanna know what he said?
\n“You’re beautiful…but, I didn’t fall in love with your hair.”
\nMy cheeks hurt from smiling.
\n❤️
\n“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” 1 Peter 4:8 NIV\n \n", "date_published": "2019-06-06T01:30:12-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/06/06/one-hour-thirtyfive-dollars-a.html", "tags": ["Health","Family","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Aging","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!","Widow","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/06/05/finding-my-father.html", "title": "Finding my Father", "content_html": "
![\"Father](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/6c6d0a0742.jpg\")
“I don’t remember having a loving relationship with my dad…ever.”
Father’s Day is coming soon. I don’t remember ever seeing a photo of my dad holding me. I don’t remember him offering his hand to help me walk. I don’t recall any kissed booboos or falling asleep in his lap. I do remember him bouncing my brother and me on his knees to the tune of Bonanza when it aired on Sunday nights. I remember watching fireworks from the car three blocks away from the park. I remember going fishing with him…once. I wouldn’t touch the worm. He was done.
\nMy relationship with my dad was complicated. Like every little girl, I sought his approval. It never came. I sought his love. He didn’t know how to give it. He never saw me sing on stage. He never watched me perform on the balance beam. As my brother and I aged, Dad became more and more lost in a bottle of Four Roses.
\nBy the time I was an antagonistic teenager, our relationship had devolved into angry shouting matches and stony silence. He became “the man who lived upstairs”. I married and left home with the first boy who would have me and I didn’t look back. By the time I was twenty-one, to my mother’s great relief, they were divorced.
\nDad went back to his roots and moved into a trailer on his sister’s farm. As a widow, she was extremely careful of her reputation and when dad had to be driven home from the bar one night, she stormed into his trailer the next morning and struck him on the bottom of the feet with an iron skillet. She informed him there would never be another incident like that or he would find himself out on his ear. He ended up going on the wagon and found Jesus and married a childhood friend.
\nI never really knew that man…the one all my cousins knew. The one all the town knew. The one who went to church every Sunday and became the model citizen…to everyone outside. But inside? Our relationship stayed exactly the same. His modus operandi was “blame and shame”. I tried. Lord knows I tried to have a relationship with him. But, in order to do that, I needed to talk about what had happened and he wasn’t interested.
\nIf he would have just once said “I’m sorry, Sis.” Oh, I learned to forgive him because he did what he knew, but that apology would have gone a long way toward mending my broken heart. Instead, I married father replacements. First, the stern disciplinarian. Then the busy doctor who couldn’t express his true feelings. Then Mr. Virgo came along and healed that spot in my heart that needed to know I was loved and cherished and….wanted.
\nStill, I remember my therapist telling me one time, “You know, Ginny…you’re never going to find your father’s love.” I was bereft. It was as if the final page was read and the book snapped shut. The End!
\nWhat do I do now?
\nI went on. I put a bandaid over the spot where I wanted dad-memories in my heart and went on. After all, I was an adult. I was functioning as best I could with what I had to work with. It was ok, I said to myself. I don’t need a father. I don’t need anybody. Mr. Virgo was the only man I really let in and even he didn’t get to see every room.
\nThen…my dad died.
\nThen…Mr. Virgo died.
\nI was never, ever going to feel that unconditional love again.
\nI was wrong. I found love again…deep, true, lasting love with Mr. FixIt. And, I was a Christian. I had God. He was my Heavenly Father…but, I still wanted a DAD!
\nThis has been on my heart a lot in the last few weeks. And, just like clockwork, here came the Holy Spirit to minister to that sore place within me. Recently, every sermon has been some variation of this theme.
\n“Your dad wasn’t there for you. It’s ok. You don’t need him. He was here to do what only he could do and it hurt. But here….I’ve got some really great news for you.
\n“God IS your dad! He loves you…absolutely…unconditionally. He CRAVES when you come sit with him and lay your head on his shoulder. He WANTS you to take his hand and walk with him. He LOVES it when you talk to him and tell him how your day went and share worries of your mind. He DESIRES you to trust him like the dad that he is. He NEEDS you to know he isn’t ever going to leave you….not ever!”
\nWow! How awesome is that? Knowing this…I mean really deep down in my bones KNOWING this…has healed some place deep inside my heart. I don’t have to look for my dad anywhere but up. When I want to hear him talking to me, I read the words he left for me to follow. When I don’t please him, he lets me know. The most important thing he wants me to know is I am the joy of his heart. The object of his greatest longing.
\nFinally….finally I found my father….in my Father.
\n❤️
\n“The same way a loving father feels toward his children— that’s but a sample of your tender feelings toward us, your beloved children, who live in awe of you.” Psalms 103:13 TPT\n", "date_published": "2019-06-05T01:30:35-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/06/05/finding-my-father.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Courage","Aging","Choices","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/06/01/from-beast-to-beauty.html", "title": "From Beast to Beauty", "content_html": "
![\"Luna](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/81bfe2d0d2.jpg\")
“The glorious Luna Moth!”
It takes about ten days for the egg of the luna moth to hatch into a tiny caterpillar and another five to six weeks for that caterpillar to go through multiple instars (stages of growth) to reach its full size…2.5” long by 3/4” diameter. That’s a big green worm! Once it reaches its full size, it spins a cocoon and usually about two weeks later, the moth emerges, wings shriveled and damp. Over the course of several hours, fluid is pumped into the wings, they dry, and voila…one of the largest silk moths of North America emerges to grace us with its presence.
\nNormally, the luna moth has a wingspan of about 4.5” but they can be as large as 7” across. This fellow is a male. His wings angle backwards somewhat and his abdomen is smaller because he isn’t carrying the 200-400 eggs the female has. They fly in the evening and at night in late spring and early summer. They don’t particularly like when the temperature dips into the 50’s. They’ll be somewhat paralyzed until it warms up.
\nI love when I catch sight of one of these beautiful moths. You don’t see them quite as often as you used to because a type of predatory fly was introduced to control the invasive gypsy moths and they’ve damaged several species of moths, including the glorious luna.
\nMr. FixIt called me into the kitchen last night so I could see this fellow. I ran outside with my phone so I could take pictures while the light was still good. As I was coming back inside, I found the remains of a luna who wasn’t so lucky…wings scattered here and there, coated with drops of dew. Nature. It’s a rough world out there.
\n![\"Luna](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/4acaa9e388.jpg\")
“The remnants of an unfortunate demise.”
When I came out to the camper to write afterwards, I watched a video on Facebook. The premise was two former classmates run into each other in the parking lot of the grocery store. They chat and it becomes apparent one is wealthy and the other is not. The one who was not tells the other about her son getting a job after graduation and that he is thriving and so happy. The other kind of turns her nose up a bit and brags about HER son who is going to Stanford. And, as a matter of fact, he was on his way to pick her up….wasn’t that sweet? The poorer mother smiled and nodded and congratulated the other mom on her son’s great achievements. But you could see when wealthy mom left, the working boy’s mom looked a little let down.
\nI am ashamed to say, I can relate to that…however fleetingly. This is the time of year when news of graduations fill the pages of social media with our darlings’ academic accomplishments. It’s beautiful and I don’t begrudge them their joy. Not one bit. We were thrilled when Daughter #1 got her Associates Degree, majoring in drama. We told her that, and $3.50 would buy her a cup of coffee and she should go on and at least get her Bachelors Degree. But no…she and her fiancé had other plans and married a month or two after graduation.
\nAt some point along the way, she realized perhaps her parents had been right and she had an excellent opportunity to go back to school at which time she became a Special Ed teacher. Again, we were so proud. Then, somewhere down the road, she went back and got her Masters. She’s still married to her college sweetheart and coming up on their 24th anniversary.
\nDaughter #2 is brilliant…maybe more so than her sister as far as IQ goes. But she has always danced to her own music, struggled over eight years getting her Bachelors but never gave up, and now works in management in the food service industry…the love for which she received from her beloved stepfather…Mr. Virgo.
\nIn the movie I watched earlier, the Stanford son berated his mother for keeping him from his friends and let her know she was distinctly cramping his style while the poor son brings his mama flowers and tells her how much he loves and appreciates her for everything she does for him. A dramatization, for sure. But there is much truth there, unfortunately.
\nA while back, a friend from long ago posted photos of her daughter getting her doctorate. They flew to Australia to visit her where she was doing research. Her two younger daughters were married, one after the other. Beautiful. Successful. This girl and Daughter #2 had play dates together when they were babies. I had a moment of full on green envy.
\nFor only a moment. Because, in that moment, Daughter #2 called me on the phone. I sat back and listened to her go on and on about the upcoming wedding and how her dress is just so perfect and makes her look like a million bucks. We chatted about how the bouquets are being made with origami flowers from comic book pages. And she found a real Viking drinking horn at a pawn shop and that’s what they’re going to toast with! Wow! And under her dress? Tie dyed Vans…of course!
\nAs I listened to her happy voice, my mind drifted back over the many phone calls when she struggled and suffered through depression and anxiety. Really struggled. And I realized…rich, poor, Stanford, Community College, PhD, shift lead in a restaurant…none of that matters. She’s happy. There is light and life in her voice. My eyes filled with tears…from shame that I was even momentarily envious…and from sincere joy and relief that my baby didn’t end up a statistic like so many others have.
\nI still have her here…in all her quirky, wonderful weirdness. As we prepared to hang up, she gave me that sweetest gift every mama craves.
\n“I love you, mama…all over your face!”
\n“I love you too, Moon Pie.”
\nShe made it…just like the caterpillar to the glorious Luna.
\n❤️
\n“Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4 NIV\n", "date_published": "2019-06-01T01:30:03-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/06/01/from-beast-to-beauty.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/05/31/keep-moving-forwardalways.html", "title": "Keep Moving Forward...Always", "content_html": "
![\"Wedding](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/c2e94a63b9.jpg\")
“I’ve finished the wedding quilt!”
I have over 28,000 emails on my iPhone. This makes my daughter crazy. She says, “What if you missed something???” I say, “Yeah, there’s always a chance of that. But, what if I stayed on my phone for 8 hours a day reading, answering, or deleting every e-mail that came through? I wouldn’t get anything else done.”
\nI have been known to miss an occasional message, but for the most part, when I scan through, I see the important stuff. A couple of weeks ago, I saw something intriguing come through. Someone was searching for quotes about if or how and why blogging through grief has helped me cope. I wrote back and didn’t think much more about it.
\nIt was a rainy, cool day yesterday. I cuddled up in my little camper and stitched the binding on my daughter’s wedding quilt and listened to the rain hit the roof. Occasionally, I caught a glimpse of something brown running by and under my camper. It was two large rabbits. They chased each other all afternoon and made me smile. They made me think of Watership Down. One stopped beneath my window in plain sight. I whispered, “Be careful of the hrududus, bunny!”
\nSometimes I feel like I run out of things to say here. I think maybe you’ve heard every story I ever knew. Sometimes I think I begin to sound like your slightly dotty Aunt Felicity who tells you everything she ate today. I know that’s an exaggeration, but still…I wonder if I’m wearing out my welcome. When I stitch or knit or mow or drive, I have conversations with God and I ask him to tell me when I’m done. And, every…single…time, He sends me someone to tell me, “No, dear one. Not yet. Someone tomorrow needs your stories.”
\nAs I stitched on my daughter’s wedding quilt, I watched old black & white reruns of the Andy Griffith Show. Up popped a message from a reader I haven’t heard from in four and a half years. In those years she had lost a husband. Had gained a love. And nearly lost him to a silent heart attack. My posts that they’ve been reading together helped them to see how life can change in an instant. They are working together to create a new life, new adventures, in a new direction. They asked me to please keep doing what I’m doing. It made me cry. God knows our hearts. He hears our pleas. And he sends us answers if we’ll just slow down and listen and pay attention.
\nAfter reading that, another message popped up. It was from the woman who wrote to me two weeks ago seeking that quote and the article was published yesterday. I read down through the stories of all the people she had quoted and realized two of them I am connected with on Twitter. I’ll connect with the others now.
\nGrief is a solitary business yet it thrusts us into a community of others going through similar experiences. The biggest point I made in my story for the article was this…you are not alone. No matter how hard grief is. No matter how isolating it is. No matter how crazy and lonely and forgetful it makes you…you are never truly alone. For me…I have Jesus and my family and you guys.
\nI’m not about to quit on that.
\nYou can read the collection of stories here: https://www.aklander.co.uk/news/why-blogging-can-help-with-grief
\n❤️
\n“For that reason, I don’t run just for exercise or box like one throwing aimless punches, but I train like a champion athlete. I subdue my body and get it under my control, so that after preaching the good news to others I myself won’t be disqualified.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-05-31T01:30:48-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/05/31/keep-moving-forwardalways.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Hope","Growth","Gratitude","God","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Change","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/05/30/severe-weather.html", "title": "Severe Weather", "content_html": "1 Corinthians 9:26-27 TPT
![\"Weather\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/07a33cc257.jpg\")
“Severe weather, volunteer pumpkins, a more mowing…another day on the Ponderosa.”
As with most of you, I browsed the news yesterday morning and saw the destruction from the many severe storms throughout the Midwest. I know people there…I was praying for them all. I knew we were supposed to get some rain yesterday, but I didn’t know how severe the storm was going to be.
\nI went to Schoolhouse Quilts around lunchtime to pick up my daughter’s wedding quilt. I need to sew the binding and then it will be finished. I was finishing my coffee while I visited with Carolyn, the owner. My phone rang. It was Mr. FixIt telling me to look at the radar…we were about to get hit hard.
\nI wrapped it up quickly, paid for the quilting, and ran to the truck just as the rain started. We live in a really small town. A grocery store, a Dollar General, the quilt shop, a pizza place, a gas station, the thrift store, and a couple of churches. That’s about it. It didn’t take long to drive to “the other side of town”.
\nI was about to the Piggly Wiggly when the lightning started striking all around me. I could see it hitting the hillside in front of me. I saw the flashes out of my peripheral vision…on both sides. I quickly turned into the parking lot, but it was raining too hard and the lightening was coming hard and fast. I couldn’t even pull up close to the store. I think some other people had the same idea.
\nI pulled my phone out and opened the Weather Channel app. It has a very reliable radar. When I saw it, I understood what a “Severe Thunderstorm Warning” looked like while it was happening. The notice at the top of the screen said “Lightning detected 0 miles north of you.” Yeah…no kidding!
\nI sent the screen shot to Mr. FixIt and told him where I was and I was going to sit this one out. Then I thought of the leaky basement and really wanted to get home. I closed my eyes and prayed hard. I told Jesus I knew he had calmed the seas when the storm was raging and I trust that He gives us that same power. I told the storm, in Jesus’ name, to break away and part the sky so I could get home safely.
\nLess that one minute later…the clouds parted. And even though the radar still showed lightning activity…there was nothing near me. I was home in less than two minutes. These are the things that amaze me. Not because I doubt they can be done. They can. I see it all the time. But it amazes me that I would never have done something like that just a few years ago. I was the scientist. The skeptic. The unbeliever.
\nCoincidence? Maybe. But I’m telling you what I saw immediately after I prayed for it. It doesn’t make me special or important or better than anyone else. It just makes me believe more. The storms eventually moved out by afternoon. Mr. FixIt came home and I mowed the big field while he ran the weed eater and the push mower. We are due for more storms today so I am planning on sitting and working on my daughter’s quilt.
\nAs I was out mowing around the burn pile, I noticed a large amount of green growth. I looked closer and there was a volunteer pumpkin vine growing from the ashes. I smiled. We burned that brush pile the week before our wedding. When the wedding was over, we used the pumpkins for Halloween decorations. Then, after the first freeze and they got soggy, Mr. FixIt threw them on the brush pile. That’s what I love about WV. You can throw a seed out there and it can grow all on its own.
\nSame with love.
\n❤️
\n““Teacher,” said John, “we saw someone driving out demons in your name and we told him to stop, because he was not one of us.” “Do not stop him,” Jesus said. “For no one who does a miracle in my name can in the next moment say anything bad about me, for whoever is not against us is for us.” Mark 9:38-40 NIV\n", "date_published": "2019-05-30T01:30:57-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/05/30/severe-weather.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","West Virginia","Gratitude","God","Wisdom","Courage","Humbled","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/05/29/gracious-conversations.html", "title": "Gracious Conversations", "content_html": "
![\"Meme\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/bc8c2490ac.jpg\")
“Let your conversations be gracious and attractive.”
I have been trying to be more conscious of my conversations of late. I try to steer clear of gossip…listening or repeating. I try to discern the difference between sharing concern or inquiring of someone’s wellbeing and telling tales out of school. I have to be honest…I haven’t always done the best at that.
\nI’m a storyteller, but I don’t want to be known as a gossip. So when I have conversations with others, I seek to be gracious. I do have my closest confidants with whom I can be brutally honest, but still be gracious.
\nIt is especially difficult to be gracious in today’s sociopolitical climate. People can be truly offensive without necessarily intending to be. And, the same goes for us. We can easily offend others without being aware of it.
\nSocial media is an excellent place to practice gracious conversation, but it isn’t always easy. I am a co-administrator for our class page on Facebook. I asked that someone be made co-administrator simply because we are aging. So many of our friends were dying, I thought if we lost our administrator, we’d lose control of the page and it’s really wonderful to catch up with our friends there.
\nI received a message from one of my classmates yesterday informing me someone had placed one of those political articles of questionable origin on our class page. She was gracious and expressed her dismay that something so obviously intended to be divisive had been posted there and would I please remove it.
\nI went to the page and didn’t do anything more than read the headlines and immediately removed the post. Then, I created a post of my own and said I had removed a political post. I reminded our classmates that there are plenty of pages that support those kinds of posts and it didn’t matter to me whose side it was on…it was not appropriate for our class page.
\nI reminded them we are only “Big Reds” when we are on that page. It’s intended to keep our classmates informed of upcoming events. All too often these days it is where we inform the class that someone has died. It’s a wonderful place to reconnect with old friends we haven’t seen or heard from…sometimes since graduation.
\nWe can stop the political diatribe from amping up by being gracious in our conversations. And, when that doesn’t work, we can disconnect and/or turn a deaf ear to the offender. Just because someone is baiting us, doesn’t mean we need to bite. I wish it were so simple always. I know it’s not. But it felt good to say, “Look, we’ll have none of that here.”
\nI was camping with a group of women a couple of years ago. Someone went on a rant about politics AND religion…in the SAME conversation. They were making disparaging comments about Jesus. Our hostess stopped her cold by saying, “I love the Lord, and I will not sit here and listen to any such talk. Let’s change the subject, please.” Simple, honest, gracious, and to the point. The subject changed and that was the end of it. I was very proud. And emboldened to have my own gracious conversations.
\nPracticing grace and kindness elevates our spirits. It lifts us above the ugliness that can creep in. Go out and practice gracious conversations this week. See what a difference it makes in your stress level.
\n❤️
\n“let the wise listen and add to their learning, and let the discerning get guidance—” Proverbs 1:5 NIV\n \n", "date_published": "2019-05-29T01:30:27-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/05/29/gracious-conversations.html", "tags": ["Health","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","Growth","Grace","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/05/28/praying-for-others.html", "title": "Praying for Others", "content_html": "
![\"Praying](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/7cc49d4eeb.jpg\")
“Praying for others is the key to freedom.”
As time passes, my daughter’s wedding is looming in the forefront of my mind. What to wear? Well, I’ve bought three dresses…so far. It depends what suits me that day, I think. The event seems to be fast and loose so I’m not terribly worried about that part.
\nAs I headed into this, the idea of being the mother of the bride…for the last time really…filled me with delicious anticipation mixed with bits of trepidation. Her father and I have mended a lot of fences over the years and I am so proud of the way we can demonstrate good behaviors for our kids and grandkids. Long gone are the angry jabs at each other over a love gone awry.
\nI overcame the majority of the pain, anger, and resentment through fervent prayer and good therapy. Prayer was my tool. I prayed my family would be healed. I prayed the father of my child would find joy and happiness with the woman he chose. The more I prayed for HIM, the happier I became.
\nThat being said, the enemy loves to sneak in and tell me lies. He loves to remind me I’ve gained a few pounds and my ex-husband will notice. He loves to make me second guess myself and be self conscious of my body and my dress choice. He loves to whisper in my ear and tell me if I would have been a better wife, that great big estate my ex owns could have been mine.
\nLies. They are all lies. I could have been the best wife in the history of the universe and the marriage could have still fallen apart. I’m not taking 100% of that one. I’ll comfortably accept my 50%. If I even consider my weight as being something my ex would judge me for, I’m setting myself up for failure and disappointment.
\nHere’s the thing…if we look for something, we WILL find it. If I look for judgement, I’ll feel judged. If I look for criticism, I’ll feel criticized…even if it’s subconsciously. And, as soon as I feel those things, I’ll react defensively. That whole scenario is a totally no win situation. Nothing good can come from that.
\nRecently I read about a technique for recognizing the cycle of anxiety and stopping it in its tracks. The premise is, as soon as you feel the very first sensations of anxiety…even if it’s just the thought of feeling anxious…you pull back and become the observer. Recognize what is happening and say to yourself…”Hmmmm, that’s interesting. I’m having a feeling that stemmed from a thought. It is just a thought.” Then, you picture surrounding that thought in a bubble, reach out, and poke it with your finger.
\nPoof!
\nWhen you can recognize what anxiety really is, it’s much easier to step back, give it a poke, and send it on it’s way. It has been working quite well in the last few months. One would think, at the ripe age of 66 (in about three weeks), I’d have gotten a handle on anxiety long before now. Sometimes it’s the fear of having an anxiety attack that brings it on. It’s crazy…but it’s quite real.
\nThis wedding isn’t about me. His house isn’t about me. My weight isn’t even completely about me in that it was caused by taking steroids twice this year. I’m the only me I have. I am the only mom my kids have. The only Nana for my grands. I am my husband’s queen. He will think I am scrumptious no matter what I’m wearing or where I sit.
\nThis is such a relief…to let go of fear. The fear of rejection. The fear of not being good enough. The fear of doing or saying something wrong.
\nI am enough. I have always been enough.
\nDang…I love my sixties!
\n❤️
\n“But the moment one turns to the Lord with an open heart, the veil is lifted and they see. Now, the “Lord” I’m referring to is the Holy Spirit, and wherever he is Lord, there is freedom.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-05-28T01:30:31-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/05/28/praying-for-others.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Aging","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!","Marriage","Wedding"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/05/26/smoke.html", "title": "Smoke", "content_html": "2 Corinthians 3:16-17 TPT
![\"Smoke\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/c7951b9595.jpg\")
“Life has a certain synchronicity. It swirls round and round like wisps of smoke.”
Mail delivery is different when you live on a rural route. When you drive out any two lane blacktop, there are dirt roads that go off up into hollers. There may be a dozen or more houses up there, but it wouldn’t be feasible to send a mail carrier up every little dirt track. So, you often see a whole row of mailboxes on the corner and everyone has to pick up their own mail. Our mailbox is across the two lane from the Ponderosa so we either walk up or stop on our way out when we go somewhere.
\nWhen I first moved in with Mr. FixIt, I seldom got any mail here. I have a post office box that I use for my business so it was just easier for me to get all my mail there. Because the majority of the mail was his, I never really saw it unless I picked it up. Mr. FixIt was throwing away junk mail one day and casually remarked, for some reason he had received coupons for cigarettes. He couldn’t figure out how in the world he ever got on their mailing list.
\nWe went into town yesterday to decorate graves on Mr. FixIt’s side of the family. We stopped to get the mail and there was another cigarette advertisement. He handed me the mail and said, “See? We got it again!” I sat there, holding the mail in my hands. For a moment, my heart skipped a beat and I could barely breathe.
\n“Is this the brand you got before?” I asked.
\n“Yes. It’s always the same.”
\nI ran my fingers over the familiar green box and smiled. Kools.
\n“You know…this is Mr. Virgo’s brand.”
\n“Whoa. That’s weird.”
\n“No…not weird. It’s just a message. A sort of hello from beyond.”
\nI don’t know how things work on the other side exactly. I know there is heaven. And I know the Bible says there is a veil between the worlds and those in heaven cannot see or connect with their loved ones on earth. I also know God loves us and wants to comfort our hearts when we lose loved ones so He sends us things that strike a chord with us. In my case…bluebirds. A particular song that’s out of place. Flickering lights. And, an ad. Of all the cigarette brands that are out there, the one that came was Mr. Virgo’s. It’s not even what I would consider a top brand. Why that one? On Memorial Day weekend?
\nI reached over and took my husband’s hand. I smiled and looked out the window at the passing scenery. I marveled at this lovely life and all its synchronicity…curling round and round like wisps of smoke.
\n“Hello, Mr. Virgo” I said softly. “Thanks for coming to see us.”
\n❤️
\n“Now they know that everything that you have given me is from you.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-05-26T01:30:10-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/05/26/smoke.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Hope","Positive Energy","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Change","Widow","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/05/08/too-close-to-home.html", "title": "Too Close to Home", "content_html": "John 17:7 ESV
![\"School](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/57405224ec.jpg\")
“How many more children have to die before something is done about this?”
Another school shooting. Seven miles from Columbine. They recently observed the 20th anniversary of the school shooting that seemed to change everything. Copycat killers, looking for moments of notoriety, sprung up everywhere, it seems.
\nWhat is causing all this? I have my theories. Personally, I think things started taking a giant slide down a slippery slope when Dr. Spock said don’t spank your kids. I’m not for violence by any means, but my kids got a proper swat on their butts when they were out of line. And they are great adults.
\nKids aren’t given outlets for their anger anymore. I was talking with my son-in-law’s mom last night. Her mother was discussing this with her contemporaries in the assisted living center at supper. She said, in her day and age, there were bullies, and kids got in scraps, but you had a row and got it over with. Now, children are handled with kid gloves and they can’t fight back.
\nThey also get left with video games and the internet as their babysitters. You cannot tell me that violent video games don’t have an impact on children today. How can it not? You can’t sit for hours at a time, shooting and maiming “people” in this realistic scenarios and not be desensitized to the violence. It becomes the norm.
\nThis one hit close to home. While not in my daughter’s district, she teaches at a STEM school and my granddaughter is a student at that same school. (Not the one where the shooting occurred yesterday, thank God.) She used to work with many of the teachers at the school where the shooting occurred. The principal is my daughter’s sister-in-law’s best friend.
\nThis is getting too close.
\nThey’re ALL too close!
\nSomething has to be done. Our children go into a war zone every single day. Teachers and school staff, too. This is not the country we were raised in. It’s not the country my children were raised in either. I own guns. But my guns are locked up in a safe. I have a .22 hidden when I am at the farm in case I’m bothered by a two-legged varmint.
\nI pray. I pray a lot. But, something has to be done. Our children are killing and being killed. Prayers are wonderful…but we need more. I’m not writing this to invite debate. This is not the place for that. There are better places for that…like with our representatives. I’m just crying out as a Nana. A very, very concerned Nana.
\nAs an aside…I arrived at the campground without incident.
\nI pray for those families. The ones who got the call. And for the families of the shooters. how horrifying.
\n???
\n“For this is the message that you have heard from the beginning, that we should love one another. We should not be like Cain, who was of the evil one and murdered his brother. And why did he murder him? Because his own deeds were evil and his brother's righteous.\n\n \n", "date_published": "2019-05-08T01:30:06-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/05/08/too-close-to-home.html", "tags": ["Faith","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","God","Anger","Fear","Courage","Warning","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/05/07/listen.html", "title": "Listen...", "content_html": "\n
We know that we have passed out of death into life, because we love the brothers. Whoever does not love abides in death. Everyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him.”
\n\n
1 John 3:11-12, 14-15 ESV
![\"Listen\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/14f11a17f0.jpg\")
“Chasing down an annoying little beep”
Do you hear that? That’s what I asked Mr. FixIt when I called him over to my camper. We were busy prepping her for her maiden voyage. (We leave today!) I was moving last minute things from the big camper to the little one. Mr. FixIt had just finished greasing the hubs. I was putting some things in a cabinet when I suddenly heard a faint beeping sound. It sounded like the alarm on a small electronic timer inside a suitcase. Faint…but discernible. I started my search.
\nI looked in every cabinet. I cocked my head this way and that trying to figure out where it came from. It definitely sounded like it was coming from the driver’s side of the camper…kind of near the refrigerator. I opened the fridge. Nope…not in there. I moved on to the bathroom. I could hear it still, but couldn’t find the source.
\nI went outside and that’s when I cornered Mr. FixIt.
\n“There’s a noise.”
\n“What kind of noise?”
\n“A beeping noise.”
\n“Ok. Where’s it coming from?”
\n“I don’t know! I’ve been looking everywhere and I can’t find it. Listen…do you hear that?”
\nJust then, a big truck came down the road.
\n“Nope.”
\n“Wait…just listen.”
\nFinally…he heard it, too!
\n“What the heck IS that?”
\nWe walked all around the camper and determined it sounded like it was coming from the side where the refrigerator is. We went inside and checked the fuse box, the air conditioning, the refrigerator. I even got out the owner’s manual to see if there were some sort of alarm that had something to do with greasing the axles, since that’s the last thing we did before I heard it.
\nNothing.
\nThen it stopped. Ten seconds later, it started again.
\n“Oh, my gosh! You know me with noises. That will drive me crazy. I have to find it!”
\nI went back outside and started walking around the camper in ever widening circles and suddenly, I could tell where it was coming from. It wasn’t the camper. It was something in the yard! I walked slowly, thinking maybe someone had dropped off a time bomb near our house. I got closer to the road and suddenly…a light bulb went off over my head.
\nI walked straight to the trash can and started rummaging around for the bag I had dropped in there earlier and came up with the culprit. The old smoke detector was going off because the trash can was getting hot in the noonday sun! Whew…case solved.
\nI moved on to the next job and brought some clothes out to the camper. Suddenly I heard Mr. FixIt. It sounded like a sneeze…but not quite. I stuck my head out of the camper and hollered.
\n“You ok?”
\n“Sneeze!”
\n“You sneezed?”
\n“Sneeze!!!!!”
\n“Ok, already….you sneezed. Jeez-o-Pete!”
\n“SNAKE!!!!!!!”
\n“Holy cats! WHERE????”
\n“It went under your smoker! Get the hoe.”
\nI grabbed the hoe…aka snake killer tool in West Virginia.
\n“What kind was it?”
\n“I think it was a copperhead!”
\nUgh…poisonous.
\n“Ok…tip up the smoker.”
\nHe did. And this two foot snake started squiggling around. We both jumped and the hoe came down before my brain could register it wasn’t a copperhead. I think it was a rat snake. I hated that I killed it. But, I did. Just like the turtle I ran over in the tall grass in the field later. I hated that, too. I tried to switch propane tank covers from one camper to the other. When I lifted up the cover, a bird flew out right in front of me and I about jumped out of my skin. A Jenny Wren had made a nest on top of the propane tank and there was a baby and a tiny egg in it so I quietly left it alone.
\nLiving in the country is NOT for sissies!
\n❤️
\n“I know every bird in the mountains, and the insects in the fields are mine.” Psalm 50:11 NIV\n", "date_published": "2019-05-07T01:30:31-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/05/07/listen.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","West Virginia","Courage","Warning","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/05/06/i-saw-you-there.html", "title": "I Saw You There", "content_html": "
![\"Hand\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/58bd90f058.jpg\")
“I saw you there…and did nothing.”
I saw you there…sitting on the porch with your head in your hands. You looked like you were feeling pretty rough. “It’s Sunday morning so maybe you partied a little too hearty last night,” I thought to myself. We were picking up the grandkids next door to go to church. It never occurred to me to ask if you’d like to join us. We were running a little late. And…well, you know…you looked a little rough. Maybe you wouldn’t feel up to going.
\nI heard the news a couple days ago. You OD’d the other night. Heroin. The kids said you weren’t a junky. You were “just a partier”. Now I understand why you looked so rough that Sunday morning.
\nThey showed me your mama’s post on Facebook. It was all in CAPS…like she was screaming. Which…I’m sure she was. And still is…whether we can hear her or not. She posted your picture, lying there in ICU, eyes puffy and blue, lids closed, the ventilator tube the only indicator you aren’t just asleep.
\nYour mama says you’re not going to wake up. She said your little boy came to see you and asked his mamaw why his Daddy wouldn’t wake up. She said your little girl is too little. She’ll never remember.
\nThey say your party buddies just let you lay there that night. There were warrants out for them and if they called the cops, they’d get arrested themselves. Man…you understand, right? Right? These were your FRIENDS?! They dragged you to the shower and turned the water on for awhile. They said you’d snap out of it…so they just left you there as your brain slowly died from not enough oxygen. Or, maybe it was already dead. Who knows what was really in that crap you put in your body? The dealers cut the heroin with whatever they have handy that looks like heroin. Crushed up pills…baking soda…who knows? The dealer you got it from probably cut it. How many dealers touched it before it got to you? Who knows…who knows…who knows.
\nYour mama’s going to have to take you off the machines now. She begged you just the night before to leave that stuff alone. It was your 20th birthday. She told you it was going to kill you. She had no idea that less than 24 hours later, she’d get the call. You told her you didn’t shoot up the stuff. You were cool. You’d be fine.
\nAnother mama lost her son.
\nAnother baby lost her daddy.
\nAnother boy will grow up without a man to show him how.
\nAnother wife will be a widow.
\nsigh
\nWhat if? What if I would have rolled down the window and called your name? What if I would have said, “Hey…come with us! Come to church with us. We’ll take you out for a big breakfast after! C’mon…climb in!”
\nBut…I didn’t ask.
\nAnother opportunity missed.
\nAnother man down.
\nDamn drugs.
\nI’m sorry…..I should have called your name.
\n?
\n““I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”—but I will not be mastered by anything.” 1 Corinthians 6:12 NIV\n\n", "date_published": "2019-05-06T01:30:15-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/05/06/i-saw-you-there.html", "tags": ["Grief","Courage","Warning","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/04/30/i-choose-joy.html", "title": "I Choose Joy!", "content_html": "“Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself?…” 1 Corinthians 6:15 NIV
![\"Surf](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/317f78c236.jpg\")
“I’m choosing joy by choosing to remember the special moments we spent at the seashore last week.”
Even though Pastor Justin’s message Sunday morning was about choosing joy, I just had one of my “bad nights”. Yesterday’s post indicated I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders, and I did. Re-entry from vacation was part of it. Being overly tired was another. And, after being gone a week, there was a lot of catching up to do and we just heard one bad thing after another all day. It just hit me hard. Combine that with eating a greasy burger too late in the evening and I was up half the night.
\nI tried all my go-to remedies and nothing seemed to help. I was up pacing the floor. I tried snuggling with Mr. FixIt and that helped, but I was too hot. Finally, I took a Benadryl because I had been out mowing all afternoon and my head was throbbing. I settled into the guest room, opened the window to let the cool night air in, and read my Bible till I got drowsy. When I finally slept, it was sound and deep and restful…just what I asked God for in my nightly prayers. He is a good Father…His lullaby is perfect.
\nI hit the ground running yesterday and went for the MRI of my foot. I’ve had several MRI’s in my lifetime. I couldn’t believe it took a whole hour! It was an open MRI and, of course, the only thing in it was my foot. But the noises were the same. The technician turned up the music really loud and I listened to the country station for an hour. The only hard part was boredom thinking of all the things I could have been doing. Laying still on my back for an hour on a hard table wasn’t too much fun. I just used the time to have a conversation with God.
\nI needed to have fasting blood drawn from an appointment a couple of weeks ago and I kept forgetting to go in so I did that. Then I stopped at the mall and bought yet another dress for the wedding. I can’t seem to make up my mind but this one I really liked and it was 50% off. I can wear it to my niece’s college graduation this weekend and see how I like it. I even found some cute little sandals that were also half price. I’m not buying any more dresses!
\nMy last stop was Walmart for new sheets for the camper. I’m not one for keeping a lot of old sheets around. I buy two pair and rotate them till they’re worn out. I’ll bet I could count on two hands how many sets of sheets I’ve had in my life. Funny thing…they are exactly the same pattern as the sheets I bought for the big camper five years ago. I would have used those, but they were full size and the new camper ya s a queen bed. I also picked up a couple of throw rugs and a new shower curtain. Everything else will get moved from the old camper to the new one.
\nBefore we leave, I need to treat the fresh water tank with a mild bleach solution and run it through the pipes. Then I need to put some Dawn dish soap, Calgon Water Softener, more water, and a bag of ice in the black tank and take the camper for a drive to let it all slosh around in the tank and dislodge anything gunking up the works. I will drive up to a rest area up north and empty the tanks and get them all ready for Thursday. Once I get back home, I’ll make the beds and wipe down the surfaces. I’ll wipe out the fridge and the cabinets and wash the floors. Once the bathroom is cleaned, I can put down the new rugs. I’ll pack it up and we’ll be ready to go!
\nSo…today I choose joy. Even in the busy rush of life and travel preparation. Just breathe. Just breathe.
\n❤️
\n“When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy.” Psalm 94:19 NIV\n", "date_published": "2019-04-30T01:30:27-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/04/30/i-choose-joy.html", "tags": ["Faith","Health","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/04/17/a-good-tired.html", "title": "A Good Tired", "content_html": "
![\"Spring](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/4bcb6b5b9c.jpg\")
“Spring flowers make my heart sing!”
Now that the taxes are done, submitted, and accepted, our attention can turn to other things….mainly, mowing. With the rains we received over the weekend, the grass growth was remarkable and it couldn’t be put off another day. We had a neighbor brush hog the far field last fall when we were preparing for the wedding. That field is really rough and needs to be mowed really regularly or we’ll have to resort to the brush hog again. I got about half the field mowed at the Ponderosa then we had to head for the farm. Mr. FixIt mowed while I hauled dropped limbs and did laundry. It was 7:30 by the time we were done and ready to head back home.
\nThis is the kind of tired that feels good. When you do a good solid day’s work and you have something to show for it. When your muscles are sore and you’re hungry and you know you’re going to sleep soundly…that’s a good day’s work. We still have much to do to prepare for our trip but once we are there…it’s beach time, baby. I can’t wait to see Ben & Sue…my son-in-law’s parents. They are joining us for the week and it’s going to be SO much fun. They are the dearest people and we can’t wait to show them all around the Outer Banks!
\nI do have a favor of you. I have an appointment with the orthopedist today for this pain I have in my foot. I think it’s a Morton’s Neuroma and if so, I will likely need a shot in the ball of my foot, which…as you can well imagine…I am not looking forward to. I am preparing myself with lots of prayers and meditation. Please add me to your prayer list that everything goes smoothly, the pain is little to nonexistent, and that whatever they do, it takes care of the pain and I can get back to exercising regularly! Thank you in advance!!!
\nI’ll let you know how it went!
\n❤️
\n“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.””\n\n \n", "date_published": "2019-04-17T01:30:15-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/04/17/a-good-tired.html", "tags": ["Health","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Hope","Positive Energy","The Farm","Growth","Comfort","Courage","Aging","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/04/14/darkness-into-light.html", "title": "Darkness into Light", "content_html": "Jeremiah 29:11-14 NIV
![\"Palm](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/fdc47d0300.jpg\")
“Looking back, I am humbled by my deliverance.”
The stress of doing taxes this week made me sit back and reflect how differently I cope now as opposed to twenty years ago. Back then, I felt like that guy on Ted Mack’s Amateur Hour. You know the one…he twirled plates on top of sticks. First one, then two, then five…and eventually, he had about twelve of them spinning. He ran from one stick to another, desperately trying to keep all the plates spinning without crashing to the ground.
\nI did a great job spinning plates till…I didn’t. I burned out. I hit the wall. There were lots of reasons why, but the bottom line was…I didn’t have good coping skills. I had an alcoholic father. I seriously should have known not to push the drinking thing. But, more and more, I relied on alcohol to prop me up.
\nI had situational anxiety. Going to a party? I’d have a drink in the bathroom while I put on my makeup and called on “Ginny the Party Girl” to step forward…emboldened by a beer. Going to the game with the hospital administrator and his wife? Drink LOTS of beers. Hosting a dinner party for the medical staff? Wine…more wine! It got worse and worse.
\nWhen my marriage started to fall apart, I was terrified. I had no idea how to cope because I worshiped at the altar of my husband. I only had a cursory relationship with God and I didn’t know Jesus at all. I was relying entirely on someone fairly unreliable….myself. When thing became difficult between me and my husband, I started drinking about an hour before he was due home so I could get through the evening. Many times I just got too wasted to cook so I went to bed, leaving my family to fend for themselves.
\nAt the very end of our marriage, I found myself standing in a closet in the dark, drinking really expensive tequila straight from the bottle. I knew…KNEW in that moment that I was in dire straits. Unfortunately, when you are in that place, it’s really, really hard to pull yourself out of it without some help. I was just functional enough to fool people into thinking I still had it together…but I did not.
\nOur last Thanksgiving, my best friend’s husband caught me sneaking into their kitchen during dinner and drinking shots of tequila. I fell asleep on their couch while all the guests were at the table having dessert. I was desperately ill, but I was also an embarrassment. My husband didn’t know what to do with me. When I overdosed a couple of months later, I made the decision for him and I went away to get the help I needed.
\nNow, as a Christian, I know that God uses all things for my good and for HIS glory. Last week in church, I said my usual prayer…”Lord, if you have a message just for me, please deliver it through Pastor Justin.” And, in his message, God sent this…
\n“God will use your experiences for your good. He will use them for His glory. Your experiences are your story and your story has power. It has the power to change people. Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there and share your testimony.”
\nI smiled.
\nGod himself told me in that moment that, no matter how bad I got…no matter how messy my life was…no matter how dysfunctional I had been…He had saved me. HE came for ME! He left the 99 and came for the ONE. And when He found me, He carried me on His shoulders back to the flocks and announced to all…”Look, I’ve found my lost sheep! Come! Help me celebrate!”
\nI know God has great things in store for me. I anticipate the unexpected, just like Christine Caine preaches in her book, Unexpected: Leave Fear Behind, Move Forward in Faith, Embrace the Adventure. Yes, sometimes the unexpected is bad. But, sometimes it is amazing. I could never in a million years have imagined back when I was in the throes of torment…where I’d be today. I am so incredibly grateful that Jesus never gave up on me. He pursued me relentlessly because He had a plan. He knew what I was capable of. I am so humbled by His Love. Through Him, I can turn a dark and painful time into a testimony of the Goodness of God
\nOn this…Palm Sunday…remember the triumphal return of Jesus to Jerusalem is also the beginning of Holy Week. It is the true beginning of the end of His earthly walk. May you all be blessed and humbled in the coming week.
\n❤️
\n““What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off? And if he finds it, truly I tell you, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off. In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should perish.” \n\n", "date_published": "2019-04-14T01:30:27-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/04/14/darkness-into-light.html", "tags": ["Faith","Health","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Courage","Choices","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/04/12/ommmmmmmmm.html", "title": "Ommmmmmmmm.......", "content_html": "Matthew 18:12-14 NIV
![\"Woman](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/a81f011dbf.jpg\")
“Trust me…I did NOT look this peaceful and serene this week working on my banking!”
I looked for a photo of someone working on her computer looking so peaceful and serene. Because, that has definitely NOT been me this week! Ok, seriously…I feel like I could reach back in the archives of any of the past six years, pull out a post for the week before taxes are due, and it would be the same darned story. Over and over and over. I wait till the last minute to reconcile my bank account. Yes…in the good old days when I didn’t have grief brain, I balanced it every month…to the penny. Now? Well, lets just say this year was better. I balanced it up till the end of July. The rest I had to download. And…my bank only keeps three months worth of statements in the accessible pipeline. Anything before that and you have to do a manual download which I have discovered may or may not be totally accurate. Not the program’s fault…it’s the operator.
\nI am not sure what I did wrong but my guess is I duplicated some entries and I was off by a country mile. In the past, this would have bugged the heck out of me and I would have spent an inordinate amount of time combing through every detail till I found the problem. And, if time wasn’t a factor, maybe I would do that. But it’s not like I’m keeping the national treasury balanced. My main purpose for using Quicken is to run expense reports for taxes. It’s not rocket science. I held my breath and created an audit. I go by my bank balance anyway, so I just balanced it to that and called it good.
\nThis wasn’t accomplished without a fair amount of hair-pulling and choice words because in the middle of things, the internet stopped working at the house. I didn’t have enough time to go back out to the farm and used the excruciatingly slow internet there, so I packed up my laptop and headed for Panera. I got a good salad, sat down, connected to the internet and ran a scan on their wireless to detect anything fishy. It came up clean so I scooted into my account, did the magic, and was back out in less than a minute. Easy peasy.
\nNext stop was Sam’s club to pick up a copy of this year’s TurboTax. I freaked out a little when I couldn’t find any and was afraid it might be sold out but they had some copies at the service desk. TurboTax has this really neat thing where you can do your taxes online and just pay for the tax program when you’re finished. The thing is, it was about $30 more to do it that way. You have to pay attention…these guys are tricky!
\nSo, the banking is done. Now all we have to do is plug in the numbers and see where we stand. Married filing jointly? Married filing separately? We’ll just have to see how it plays out. I’m just so blessed to have the choice.
\n❤️
\n“Tell us then, what is your opinion? Is it right to pay the imperial tax to Caesar or not?” But Jesus, knowing their evil intent, said, “You hypocrites, why are you trying to trap me? Show me the coin used for paying the tax.” They brought him a denarius, and he asked them, “Whose image is this? And whose inscription?” “Caesar’s,” they replied. Then he said to them, “So give back to Caesar what is Caesar’s, and to God what is God’s.”” Matthew 22:17-21 NIV\n", "date_published": "2019-04-12T01:30:49-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/04/12/ommmmmmmmm.html", "tags": ["Family","Overcoming Obstacles","Gratitude","Love","Wisdom","Courage","Change","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/04/10/bad-night-great-day.html", "title": "Bad Night - Great Day", "content_html": "
![\"James](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/37394a4953.jpg\")
“Resist the devil and he will flee.”
I remember back in the first two to three years of my grief, I often had what I referred to as “bad nights”. Nights were especially difficult from the beginning. Too many hours stretched ahead with too much time to think…especially since I had such a hard time sleeping. It didn’t take much to send my mind chasing rabbits and soon a thought would have me in a tailspin. I spent SO many nights alternating between gripping the mattress and throwing up. All. Night. Long. It was brutal.
\nThankfully, that finally evened out. Partially from time and healing, but mostly because I got a grip on my anxiety once I learned it’s source. Some may call it a trick of the mind, but I have been much more successful in not only controlling my anxiety, but sending it packing altogether. Prayer and petition to God to come in and bring me comfort helps tremendously. One thing has really helped me and the old me would have rolled my eyes with a “Right…sure…ok.”
\nThat one thing is banishing Satan. The enemy comes to rob, steal, and destroy. He is the force behind the thoughts “You can’t handle anything.” “You will always have anxiety.” “I’ll make sure you are miserable all the days of your life…this will never get better.” When I feel anxiety creeping in, I talk out loud now. I just tell the old goat to get the heck away from me because I don’t believe his stinking lies.
\nThe second thing I do is listen to praise music. I have discovered if I’m having anxiety and I start playing praise music and singing along, the anxiety dissipates. I cannot be anxious and upset while praising Jesus.
\nAnd…I’m human. Sometimes I forget to do those things and I get caught with my guard down. That’s what happened on Monday when we drove by my dad’s house and saw it had been torn down. I immediately felt sick and I let things spiral. I felt horrible and out of control. I could hardly eat a thing and that night, after writing my post, I tried eating a bowl of cereal and immediately got sick.
\nI did excuse myself to the guest bedroom so as not to interrupt Mr. FixIt’s sleep. I took something to settle my stomach and I read the Bible and listened to praise music. And I asked God to send his angels to wrap their wings around me and keep me safe. I immediately fell into a deep sleep and awoke refreshed and feeling much better.
\nI knew I needed to spend some time at the farm, though. The Farm is my touchstone. I drove out and sorted through my papers to prepare the taxes. I drank coffee and walked around the yard looking at Grandma’s posies. Once the paperwork was sorted, I took a little snooze in Grandma’s bed and finally headed back to The Ponderosa.
\nMr. FixIt did yard work all day. The field looked like a well manicured golf course. He wanted to show me some things so we walked the entire five acres, hand-in-hand, marveling at the spring beauty. We inched through a rose bramble to look for arrowheads on the creek-bank. We moved an old fallen tree. We found violets in the grass and looked for frogs in the ditch along the road.
\nLast night, just before bed, we went out back in our robes and slippers and held hands while we counted stars. The “bad night” of the night before wasn’t even in my memory. It had been banished with a stern warning…spoken aloud…”Get away from me Satan…you have no dominion over me!” He isn’t as powerful as he would like you to think he is. He can’t read our thoughts so we must speak aloud to him.
\nEvery time I get closer to Jesus…every time I raise my hand in church and further commit my heart to Christ…the enemy swings hard. He does this for the precise reason…he knows I’m a threat. He knows who lives in my heart…who is my true north. And he hates that. That’s ok. I can do hard things. I can have a “bad night” if it means I get so much greatness on the other side.
\n❤️
\n“Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” James 4:7 NIV\n", "date_published": "2019-04-10T01:30:54-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/04/10/bad-night-great-day.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","The Farm","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","God","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/04/05/the-third-generation.html", "title": "The Third Generation", "content_html": "
![\"Small](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/7e5accb133.jpg\")
“Introducing TOW-Wanda III”
I’ve spent a lot of time in my big camper so far this year. She has been my office and sanctuary where I sequester myself and write. And lately, I’ve spent an inordinate amount of time thinking about how she came into my life. It was the year after Mr. Virgo died. I sold my house and traded in Little TOW-Wanda for TOW-Wanda Grande. She was fancy-schmancy, let me tell you. When things didn’t work out on the farm like I thought they would, I lit out with this behemoth and hauled her all over the country…writing about it all the way. I lived for months at a time on a hill overlooking the beautiful Ohio River. I camped in my son-in-law’s parents’ driveway in Denver and on my friend Sue’s property overlooking Mesa Verde. I towed her from South Dakota to South Carolina and all points in between. But to just hop in and take her camping spontaneously became a chore. A major chore. It was literally like pulling a house and I didn’t go camping nearly as often as I would have liked.
\nI was visiting with my very wise and experienced friend, Janine Pettit of Girl Camper fame over the weekend in Huntington. I told her I was thinking of going out to get a bigger truck because my camper was just too beefy for her in the mountains. I loved her response. Simple, direct, and too the point.
\n“Ginny, you don’t need a bigger truck. You need a smaller camper.”
\nStopped me cold. It had never seriously occurred to me to downsize the camper until that moment. Suddenly, it made perfect sense. As with all things, I talked to God about it. I told him I would be able to get out and reach more people if I wasn’t so bogged down with the big camper. I told him what I needed in a camper….a bathroom with a toilet and shower, a kitchen with a good sized fridge, a dinette, plenty of storage, and a comfy bed with windows like my first camper. I’ve always been so sorry I traded her in. If I would have known the thing with my aunt at the farm wasn’t going to work out, I never would have gotten such a big camper. That being said, I still wanted a camper with more than one bed. I also wanted a camper with fiberglass sides instead of that rippled aluminum. Those can get dented up so easily with hail and errant branches. Then, I just left it with God. If He wanted me to have a little camper again, He would bring her to me. I knew this…I felt it.
\nYesterday morning, I picked up my phone and I “accidentally” hit the FB Marketplace button and up popped the cutest little camper. I almost couldn’t believe it. I haven’t measured her yet but I think she is about 18’ long…exactly the size of Little TOW-Wanda. It has the fiberglass sides like I wanted. It has a bathroom with a toilet, sink, and shower. It has a kitchen with a full-size refrigerator/freezer, a double sink, a two-burner stove, and a microwave. It has a dinette that will turn down into a single bed. It has a double bed and a bunk bed over it…both with a memory foam mattresses. And, get this…it has the very same window configuration Little TOW-Wanda had. It is absolutely perfect and it cost 1/3 the price of a new one of comparable size with a better floor plan than any I’ve seen.
\nI showed the picture of the camper to Mr. FixIt and told him I was going to text the owner. It had been on FB an hour. I was the first to contact the gal and I went to see the camper last night. I couldn’t believe it. It was exactly….EXACTLY…what I asked for! God is SO good! After carefully inspecting the camper, I told her I’d take it and gave her a little earnest money to hold it till she gets the title for me.
\nI have been trying to think of a name. I was thinking I should call her Pollyanna. But that just doesn’t fit right. Here’s the thing. My main camper will always and forever be “TOW-Wanda”, no matter what she looks like. It’s how I take my mama with me. She would have loved traveling and having her little house with her. Therefore…meet “TOW-Wanda III”.
\n❤️
\n“Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans.” Proverbs 16:3 NIV\n", "date_published": "2019-04-05T01:30:09-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/04/05/the-third-generation.html", "tags": ["Travel","Uplifting Stories","Positive Energy","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","Fun","West Virginia","Courage","Girl Camper","Girl Campers"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/04/03/cue-the-eye-roll.html", "title": "Cue the Eye Roll", "content_html": "
![\"Eyeroll\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/71c9c5a3d8.jpg\")
“The eye roll…reserved for those moments when a whop over the head with a frying pan might be overkill.”
I posted a request on four different Facebook pages on Monday. Here…I’ll just cut and paste it so you can see what I’m talking about.
\n“Ok…I have a 30’ camper. The reason I went big was because I traveled FT and lived in it for most of three years. My original truck was an F-150 V6 EcoBoost with a 3.73 rear axle ratio. It would pull that camper up the passes of Colorado like nobody’s business. Two years ago, my truck was totaled in an accident. The replacement truck was identical in every way save for a 3.31 rear axle ratio. In my defense, I had a head injury and wasn’t thinking straight when I bought it. Needless to say, pulling on the flat is ok, but the mountain passes were crazy. I couldn’t get up to 20mph and had to stop several times to let the transmission cool down. I am now in a position to buy a new truck. Here is my dilemma. Finding an F-150 with a rear axle ratio of 3.73 is turning out to be like looking for a needle in a haystack. I have several options. I have settled down in WV and remarried and I don’t need such a big camper. I can downsize the camper. Then I don’t need as powerful a truck. Or, I can get out of my lane and buy a different truck. I really have to watch my mpg because this is my primary vehicle. Thanks in advance for your input…I appreciate it!”
\nPretty innocent. I posted it on two women-only camping pages, a family camping page, and a page that seems to be largely frequented by men that deals with RV Tips & Hints. I sat back and watched the comments flow and suddenly I was struck by a huge difference between the gals’ answers and the guys’. The gals were informative and supportive and respectful. The guys? Well, you could just almost SEE them spitting and scratching places that shouldn’t be scratched in public.
\nThere was a lot of jockeying for position between the men. Lots of “right on, bro” kinda stuff. One of the responses that had me in stitches was from a guy I’ll call Bob. Bob started out nice enough. He pointed out asking a question like this to 1,000 people would give me 1,000 different opinions. He wasn’t far off. His advice was to weigh my options…(Ummmmm, I think that’s what I’m asking y’all for, Bob…), seek my own council…(Wait a minute? Are you telling me to stop asking the question, Bob? I’m confused…), and evaluate what I think my needs might be in five years (Thank you for having faith that I’ll still be camping like this in five years, Bob. You’re a peach!). This is where Bob kind of went off the rails on me when he added…”and, what your new wife enjoys.”
\n?
\nWait…did Bob just suggest what I THINK he suggested?
\nSee…our good friend Bob here assumed that if I am towing a 30’ camper across the country by myself, I must be a Lesbian. Or maybe he didn’t pay attention to who wrote the post and assumed I was a man who had just gotten married. Because, you know, a WOMAN wouldn’t/couldn’t/shouldn’t tow a 30’ camper…by herself…all over the country…for three years. I wrote back and said, “You must be talking about my husband, Bob. ? See…I’m the gal. I’m the one who towed the 30’ camper back and forth across the country for three years. I’m uber handy that way. ?”
\n(Cue the eye roll. ?)
\nBob, Bob, Bob…girls can do things without gender or sexual orientation being a part of it. Girls can tow campers…BIG campers. They can back them up into teeny tiny little spaces, too. Girls can do just about anything guys can do. I went into a car dealership yesterday and test drove a truck. The sales person was a woman named Megan. Megan had been on the job for eight months. I asked if she loved her job, she gleefully said “Yes! But oh….the guys hate it! They don’t like having a woman in their space all the time.” I gave her a high five.
\nShow ‘em what you’re made of, Megan!
\n❤️
\n“The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.” Proverbs 14:1 NIV\n", "date_published": "2019-04-03T01:30:40-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/04/03/cue-the-eye-roll.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Wisdom","Courage","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/04/02/sick-tired.html", "title": "Sick \u0026 Tired", "content_html": "
![\"Elephant](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/7b69958f86.jpg\")
“Can’t we all just get along?”
Those of you who have been reading my blog for some time know that, even in my grief, I’m a pretty upbeat individual. Mr. Virgo used to call me Pollyanna because I always look on the sunny side of life. I objected saying there’s nothing wrong with looking for the light, even in the darkest situations…as long as you don’t stick your head in the sand. I think I keep a weather eye out for the realities of the world while still trying to look on the bright side.
\nI’ve gotta tell ya…and this is in NO WAY a political post…but, I’m just sick and tired of hearing all the ugliness these days. I keep looking for the God-spark in everyone and dang if it isn’t disheartening sometimes. I read something yesterday that punched me in the gut. Teachers can no longer teach kids the way we were taught. Because, the world we were raised for no longer exists. We didn’t have a TV till I was in school. Countries on the other side of the world were nothing but stories in the encyclopedia. We didn’t have indoor plumbing at my grandma’s house till I was in first grade. We went from that to landing a man on the moon by the time I was in high school. To think the computer onboard an Apollo spacecraft was far, far less sophisticated than a Blackberry…and they are archaic in the grand scheme of things.
\nBetween the Information Age, readily accessible electronics, and Joe Public’s thirst for all things that would have been cringeworthy a decade or two ago, we are bombarded with violence. When I grew up, coverage of the Vietnam War and shoot-em-up Westerns were about as violent and graphic as anything you would likely witness unless you saw a terrible accident. You can’t put smoke back in a bottle. Once you see this stuff, it’s in your brain…and in your heart.
\nMr. FixIt and I had to run to town yesterday to get the shower insert for the new bathroom. As I was gathering my things to leave, he asked me to watch a story from CBS Sunday Morning. It was about Sandy and Lonnie Phillips. Their daughter was one of the victims in the 2012 mass shooting in the movie theater in Aurora, CO. She was with a friend who was an EMS. He was shot twice and he did everything he could to save her, but he couldn’t.
\nAs I watched this story, my heart broke for all of them. I know grief. But I know nothing of the grief that comes with violence. Instead of climbing into the never ending hole of horror, they chose to help other victims of mass shootings. They’ve rented their house out, quit their jobs, sold everything they owned, and travel from place to place pulling a travel trailer….following the shootings. They started in Newtown, then went to Isla Vista, San Bernardino, Orlando, Las Vegas, Sutherland Springs, Parkland, Santa Fe, Pittsburg and Thousand Oaks. The equivalent of a soldier with PTSD running into firefight after firefight after bloody firefight with no end in sight.
\nIt brings them no joy. They still cry every day out of sadness and pain and it’s been seven years since their daughter was murdered. But they do find satisfaction in helping others who are coming up the same path behind them. They are able to hang onto each other and offer comfort to others while being bombarded by conspiracy theorists who verbally threaten and harass them. Their super power is compassion.
\nMy soul is tired. My brain is bruised. My heart is weary. “I can do hard things.” But…in reality, can I? Could I do what the Phillips’ are doing? Could I survive such horrors? I think I couldn’t, but I know God could. I know I had to rely on Him to carry me through Mr. Virgo’s death so I have no reason to believe He won’t carry me through everything that comes to me in this life.
\nI’m just so tired of all the anger, hatred, ugliness, violence, pain, depravity. I cling to the joy and hope I find in my faith. I pray for this world. I pray for wisdom. I pray for peace. I pray for strength to get through a time that numbs me. I don’t want to be numb. I want to always, always, always look for the light. Find the good. Encourage the downtrodden. Shine a light in the darkness. See, here’s the thing…there are a lot more good people on this earth than the media will lead you to believe.
\nLook for the light. Look for the helpers. Yes, I get weary…I just can’t quit.
\nSo, I press on. I go outside and put my bare feet on the earth to ground myself. I feel the wind on my face. I close my eyes and turn my face to the sun. I hug people…a lot. It’s the best gift I can give them because I can’t help but get a hug in return.
\nIf all of these things bother you, too…turn off the TV. Put down the newspaper. Go outside. Nature heals.
\n❤️
\n“Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. For, “Whoever would love life and see good days must keep their tongue from evil and their lips from deceitful speech. They must turn from evil and do good; they must seek peace and pursue it. For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their prayer, but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”” 1 Peter 3:9-12 NIV\n", "date_published": "2019-04-02T01:30:17-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/04/02/sick-tired.html", "tags": ["Faith","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Growth","God","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Warning","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/04/01/vibrant-women.html", "title": "Vibrant Women", "content_html": "
![\"Vibrant](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/8ad16fc44e.jpg\")
“Vibrant Women…a women’s ministry.”
Something phenomenal happened Friday night and it has taken me this long to process it. Actually, I’m sure I’ll be processing it for some time to come. We have a husband-wife team leading our church. It has been wonderful to watch Pastor Heather growing into a strong leader for the women of our region. A little over three years ago, God planted a seed in her to lead a Women’s Ministry. She gathered her friends together, told them her ideas for this movement, and asked them to start feeding her possible names. When she heard “Vibrant Women”, she was moved. Vigorous. Energetic. Lively. Vital. All words that resonated with where she wanted to go with this movement….words that described women of strong faith.
\nThis was the third Vibrant Women event held at our church…the second I have attended. It’s come a long way since the beginning. I think there might have been two-hundred women at the first one. Friday night saw almost SEVEN HUNDRED women packed into our church. There wasn’t a seat in the house. The sound booth said at one point the decibel scale peaked out at the same level as a jet engine. It was crazy fun. The energy level in that room was amazing.
\nWe had a guest pastor…Pastor April Carter of the Together Church in Yakima, Washington. Pastor April spoke about Living Beyond Fear. Oh….she touched every single one of us. At the end of her message, she told a personal story. Someone who works in her church called her…panic stricken. Then he arrived home, his house was surrounded by police, fire, and ambulance crews. They would not let him in the house. The only thing he knew was, something happened that involved his son. Pastor April and Pastor Micahn headed to the hospital to meet them.
\nAs they sat there, waiting for word of what was going on, she absentmindedly fingered a necklace she was wearing that a friend gave her. It is engraved…”I Can Do Hard Things”. The time dragged slowly by. They prayed together. They held each other up. And, finally…the doctor came out. Their friends’ son had gotten his hands on a gun and somehow accidentally shot himself. And they could not save him. Pastor April closed her eyes and repeated to herself…
\n“I can do hard things. I can do hard things. I can do hard things.”
\nSince Mr. Virgo died, I haven’t been so good in medical emergencies. There have been times I haven’t been able to show up for people who need me to do hard things. Pastor April challenged us to put on our boxing gloves and get in the ring of life and fight. Listening to her, I felt empowered. I felt stronger. I felt like trying harder and being the best version of myself I can be. I mean, isn’t that what faith does for us?
\n“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Even the hard things.
\nWe were doubly blessed in that Pastor April delivered our message at church yesterday too so we got to hear her twice this weekend. I googled her name on YouTube last night and there was a message called “Hard Reset”. You should give it a listen if you are interested. She is very good.
\n❤️
\n“I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-04-01T01:30:37-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/04/01/vibrant-women.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Growth","New Ideas","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Humbled","Choices","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/03/26/widowed-or-single.html", "title": "Widowed or Single?", "content_html": "Philippians 4:13 NIV
![\"Widow\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/825ec8b655.jpg\")
“Has the mental image of ‘widow’ changed all that much?
One of my friends shared a post with me yesterday. Ironically, it turns out I know the woman who wrote it. And, I know her well enough to understand what she meant by what she said about being called a widow. The writer, Jan, said she didn’t like the term “widow” because it conjures up this preconceived notion of “old” and “feeble”. As she says, we live in an era where ageism runs rampant. Our gray hair and social mores puts the widow in an unenviable position on more levels than grief alone.
\nJan says she hates going into doctor’s offices and filling out the forms, having to select widowed or single. She has taken to saying she is “single-by-death” because, she DOES feel single. I’m all for changing the vernacular and the image of widows. Of course, the early throes of acute grief is a time where most of us feel old beyond our years, lost, destined to a life of lonely sadness. After that period of crisis, we do begin…in our own time…to heal and move forward. I don’t know any widow who wants to be looked down on and pitied. In this day and age, widows aren’t a bunch of doddering old ladies wearing black and sitting in the corner crying all the time.
\nI hated the term widow, too. I thoroughly resented it at first because I was very, very busy trying to pretend he didn’t die. Calling me a widow just turned a spotlight on my spectacular ruse and left me with nothing but shadow puppets of my former life. I sometimes rebelliously referred to myself as “single-by-chance” simply because I hated the word death as much as I hated the word widow. “Single-by-chance” could cover a lot of situations…death, divorce, break-ups. I liked it. But eventually, I just went with widow and tried to show what one looks like by pulling a huge camper across the country alone and dancing on the bar at Coyote Ugly and going into the wilderness and backroads of Colorado for three months…alone.
\nIn researching photos for this post, I Googled “widow”. There was a plethora of images of spiders and Scarlet Johansson in a black latex catsuit with the occasional Civil War era tintype of a haunted woman in black thrown in for good measure. This got me to thinking…if Google is any indication, maybe the world isn’t as obsessed with the word “widow” as widows themselves are. Widowhood and grief are lonely pursuits. We are singular. We are rather myopic. We have lost half of our whole. At least, we have for a while. Eventually, half reduces itself…bit by tiny little bit.
\nI was widowed…singled-by-chance…surely not by choice. Now that Mr. FixIt and I have married, when I relate my story in my work as a speaker and a writer, I say I was widowed. I suppose in the absolute vernacular, I am a widow. But that is a far smaller piece of who I am today than it used to be. I think that’s the way it should be…for me.
\nThat’s the beauty of language and social norms. We can change things. We can change the words and the images of who we are in the world today. Who we are and how we want to be seen. What works for one may not work for another. Be who…or what…you are. Empirical evidence says…I am a Child of God…first and foremost. The rest is superfluous.
\n❤️
\n““Cursed is anyone who withholds justice from the foreigner, the fatherless or the widow.” Then all the people shall say, “Amen!”” \n\n", "date_published": "2019-03-26T01:30:29-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/03/26/widowed-or-single.html", "tags": ["Faith","Health","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","God","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/03/12/angelversary.html", "title": "Angelversary", "content_html": "Deuteronomy 27:19 NIV
![\"Handsome](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/e057599f53.jpg\")
“Remembering Mr. Virgo”
Last year, I removed the date of Mr. Virgo’s death from my calendar so I would no longer receive reminders on my phone. After all, I’m not likely to forget such an event as that anyway. I do have a hard time remembering the exact date of my mom’s death and my grandma’s and my dad’s. I know approximately when they occurred but I have to look it up if I need to know the exact date. Not so with Mr. Virgo’s. I’ll never forget that…or him.
\nIt was six years ago today that we set out to buy the travel trailer to take us into retirement. It was a beautiful sunny day with a hint of spring and we had everything to look forward to. Although I had been having premonitions all week, it was still a shock when he died so suddenly.
\nThis was something I didn’t believe I could recover from. I swore to my girls that I would never, ever get married again because I couldn’t go through this a second time. Yet, here we are…six years down the road and I’m married again…to an equally wonderful man. I’ve been blessed with good men in my life.
\nMy friend Deneene lost her husband in March a few years after me. I began to mentor her through the widow experience when she was going through a particularly rough patch. We don’t get to see each other much anymore as she has moved to South Carolina with her new love. We connect frequently via chat and yesterday, she sent a note telling me she was thinking of me and the angelversary of Mr. Virgo’s death. She asked how I was going to commemorate this day. Last year, when I removed the alarm from my calendar, I thought five years was enough of that. I figured I wouldn’t want to do anything special anymore. But, once I thought about it, I decided I was wrong. Time doesn’t change the facts.
\nIt’s interesting at this point to think of my marriage to Mr. Virgo. He has now been gone the same amount of time we were married. And, just because time has passed, and just because I’m crazy in love with Mr. FixIt and I’m happily married, doesn’t mean my love for this wonderful man I shared my life with has diminished. Daughter #2 called me yesterday and we talked for quite some time about this. When we lose someone so special, our hearts expand at some point. My heart is much, much bigger than it was when Mr. Virgo died. There are spaces there with the names of every person I have truly loved. Those spaces do not become smaller in order to allow room for other to come in. The vessel itself had to grow.
\nAs time has passed after each loss, those spaces that remain from the love lost aren’t empty shells. I’ve filled them with love and memories like filling a beautiful vase with thousands of blooms…only these flowers will never die. There were times, especially with the divorces, that I held onto bitterness and anger, but those things did not serve me. Filling each space in my heart with love has been my saving grace.
\nI am so blessed to be married to such a wonderful man who does not expect me to clean house and rid myself of those spaces in my heart. I would never expect him to do so. If you have truly loved someone, no matter what the end result of the relationship, filling those rooms full of flowers can set you free.
\nSo, I’m at the farm. I’m writing and drinking good coffee and eating chocolate hearts. And I’m counting all my blessings for a heart filled with blooms by remembering my life with a good, kind man. ❤️
\n“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” Psalm 73:26 NIV\n", "date_published": "2019-03-12T01:30:19-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/03/12/angelversary.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Change","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/03/08/a-new-perspective.html", "title": "A New Perspective", "content_html": "
![\"Serenity](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/90bccfe6e5.jpg\")
“It never occurred to me to apply the Serenity Prayer to grief, but it makes perfect sense.”
I used to be a social drinker. For a long time, I told myself that anyway. And, I suppose it was true if you considered every day having at least one, maybe two glasses of wine with dinner…”social” drinking. I mean…I WAS with people, right? I never really saw it as a problem. When I was pregnant with my second daughter, I didn’t drink at all and it never bothered me. After she was born, I had a small glass of wine in the evenings. The doctor said it was good for me and it relaxed the baby. Whatever the doctor says, right?
\nOnce the baby was weaned, I was back to my two glasses every day. It didn’t really become a problem till the last year I was with Hubby #2. My marriage was on the rocks. I couldn’t fix it and I couldn’t face losing it. So, we put doilies on the elephant in the room and I mixed a pitcher of Martinis…for myself…before dinner. If it wasn’t Martinis, it was Tequila…or really good Scotch…or stiff Bloody Mary’s…or a bottle of excellent Cabernet. I was self medicating…and that was a problem.
\nIt interfered with my relationships…with my husband, with my kids, with my friends. I knew my marriage was circling the drain and I was going down with the ship. It wasn’t till after the overdose that I saw the light. I woke up in the ICU and knew I’d hit rock bottom and something had to change. I’ve never touched a drop since January 5th, 2000. And I can honestly say, I’ve never had the slightest craving, not the tiniest bit of desire to drink alcohol or take prescription pain meds. Nothing.
\nFor a period of time, I went to AA meetings…nine months, maybe. I know there are people who work that program and it saves lives. I know that for a fact. I also know, God can lift that burden off of you in a heartbeat because I am living proof of that. For the longest time, I only related the Serenity Prayer to AA. It is recited at the meetings, so I took a narrow view of its usefulness.
\nWhat if…what if we use the Serenity Prayer on grief?
\n“God, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change;”
\nTo this, we can say….”God, I cannot change the fact that he died. Help me to accept that.”
\n“Courage to change the things I can;”
\nTo this, we can say…”God, help me walk in a way that honors him. Give me the courage to face this new life alone. Make me strong in my faith so that I can change the things in my life that no long serve me.”
\n“And the Wisdom to know the difference.”
\nTo this, we can say…”God, make me wise in my decision making. Give me discernment in my dealings with people. Bring me the wisdom of knowing when to hang on to things and when to let go.”
\nIt honestly never occurred to me to use the Serenity Prayer on anything out of the context of alcohol…maybe drugs. But not Grief, or pain, or depression, or anxiety. This opens doors to another avenue of prayer and…I can never have too much prayer in my life. ❤️
\n““I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”” - John 16:33 NIV\n \n", "date_published": "2019-03-08T02:30:44-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/03/08/a-new-perspective.html", "tags": ["Faith","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Peace","Wisdom","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/02/27/writing-and-praying.html", "title": "Writing and Praying", "content_html": "
![\"Praying](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/ee2361d011.jpg\")
“Prayers, Praises, and Persistence”
I was a little worried when I went out to TOW-Wanda yesterday morning. Were the words going to come? Or was I going to hit another roadblock like I did Monday? I gathered my gear, grabbed my coffee, kissed Mr. FixIt, and headed to “the office”.
\nOnce the furnace was on, I slipped out of my shoes and climbed into my little writing nook. I took a few moments to gather my thoughts and figure out a plan of action. Holding the warm coffee between my hands, I closed my eyes and prayed.
\n“Lord, thank you for all these words you’ve been sending me. Thank you for this comfortable place to write in and call my own. Thank you for trusting me to be your hands. Lord, I’m not sure what happened yesterday. My friend Gail says you were just giving me a day of rest. Whatever it was, Lord…please make me a vessel. Use me in whatever way you can. I promise I’ll do what you say. Amen”
\nI sipped my coffee and was about to open the document app and resume writing the book when I felt the nudge.
\n“Find your verse.”
\nThis is something I do when I want to hear personally from God. When I’m having a specific issue, I ask God to help me find my verse…the one he speaks through. If I have my bible, i just open it to the spot that feels right, close my eyes, and point. That is my verse, and 99.9% of the time, it speaks to me directly regarding whatever issue it is I’m dealing with. I can do the same thing with the app.
\nWhen I opened my app yesterday, chose a book, then chose a chapter, the Parable of the Persistent Widow came up. I kid you not. I took one look at it and laughed with glee.
\n“Awwww, Jesus…you are SO good. Would you look at that? How do you expect people to believe this?”
\nIt’s true. The parable was told to the Disciples to remind them to pray and to never give up. You can’t make this stuff up…he answered me right there. So, I prayed again.
\n“Ok, Lord…here I am praying and I’m never going to give up. I just feel like I’m supposed to be going somewhere with this book but I’ve lost my direction. I’m giving it back to you. Guide me where you want this to go.”
\nJust then a dear friend texted me and asked me to give her a call. She said, “I just want to tell you how proud I am of you. You’ve been talking with God. AND…you’ve also been listening to the Holy Spirit as he guides you through your book. You’re doing a great job. Keep it up!”
\nSometimes I wonder if other people can hear my chin hit the floor as much as I can. Not only did he send me a scripture saying “Keep praying! Never give up!” He nudged a friend to reach out and say, “You’re doing a great job. Thanks for listening to the Holy Spirit!” Hokey smokes!
\nI scrolled back and found the exact spot where I went off the rails. I highlighted the words from that point to the end, cut, and pasted them into a new document I entitled “Extras” and saved it. I’m not going to throw those 12,000 words. They may come in handy in another book. I’m back to 52,422 words with a goal of 60,000 to 80,000. I also have a Mission Statement for my book so I know more specifically what to ask for.
\nI don’t want to overwhelm you with God stories each and every day. There are days when other topics seep in, but even then, the underlying story is how God works into it. I also know the timbre of my writing has changed. But, when something so profound gets set down on a platter in front of me, how can I NOT share that? I still shake my head when things like this happen, even though I absolutely KNOW where it comes from. So, here’s my Worship Wednesday post! ❤️
\n“One day Jesus told his disciples a story to show that they should always pray and never give up. “There was a judge in a certain city,” he said, “who neither feared God nor cared about people. A widow of that city came to him repeatedly, saying, ‘Give me justice in this dispute with my enemy.’ The judge ignored her for a while, but finally he said to himself, ‘I don’t fear God or care about people, but this woman is driving me crazy. I’m going to see that she gets justice, because she is wearing me out with her constant requests!’” Then the Lord said, “Learn a lesson from this unjust judge. Even he rendered a just decision in the end. So don’t you think God will surely give justice to his chosen people who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? I tell you, he will grant justice to them quickly! But when the Son of Man returns, how many will he find on the earth who have faith?””\n\n \n", "date_published": "2019-02-27T02:30:39-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/02/27/writing-and-praying.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","God","Wisdom","Courage","Presence","Writing","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/02/25/power-outage.html", "title": "Power Outage", "content_html": "Luke 18:1-8 NLT
![\"Power](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/3cdfb17a06.jpg\")
“A power outage is not uncommon in the country.”
One of the disadvantages of living way, WAY out in the country is the frequent power outages. I do have to say, I believe this is the first one I’ve experienced here at the Ponderosa. Mr. FixIt has told me stories of outages that have lasted over two weeks out here so I am sure praying this isn’t one of them.
\nWe’ve had tons of rain. That softened the ground. Then Sunday morning, the wind picked up and there are trees down everywhere. If they take down a power line, or snap power poles in half, or even make the wires move so much they cause a transformer to blow, then you’re out of luck. Last winter, in preparation for just such an event, Mr. FixIt pulled the generator out of the big building and set it up by the back door. He had a tarp over it to protect it from the elements. We are good Scouts!
\nWe went to church yesterday before the wind picked up. The power was on and we didn’t think anything of it. By the time church was over and we had our usual brunch afterwards, we still had a couple of errands to run before delivering our family to their house. We didn’t get home till about 4:00. We left the sump pumps running when we headed out for church. Mr. FixIt was up four or five times during the night checking the water level. Finally, at 5:00am, it was time to turn them on. When we came to the door, my husband cocked his head and said, “The power’s out.” The pumps weren’t running.
\nHe headed downstairs and the water was starting to seep in under the door. We had to get those pumps running ASAP. I said a prayer and the generator started right up. We WERE good Scouts….except for one thing. The gas can was empty! Mr. FixIt headed to our little town to fill the can however, the gas station was also without electricity. The only choice was to run to the next bigger town, which I did. I got back before he had to leave for bowling. We added oil to the generator and filled the tank and started it back up.
\nMy sweetie ran an extension cord into the house so I could have a lamp. We had water. We had natural gas for cooking and for the stove that heats the living room. I bundled up and cuddled under my fur blanket, and started writing. He asked if I would be ok when he left. I laughed because this isn’t roughing it. I’ve lived in a camper on the banks of the Ohio River with no running water, a foot of snow on the ground, and -15 wind chill. This is nothing….just a minor inconvenience. It’s life in the country. I have no idea how long the power was out before we got home. And, at the time I am writing this, I have no idea how long it will be off. I called the power company and they said it was a widespread outage. It is affected 3,800 - 4,000 customers in our county alone. It comes on when it comes on.
\nI remain joyful and keep praying and I’m so thankful for a house and a generator, and a camper with heat should we continue without power into the night. I will remain thankful in all circumstances. ❤️
\n“Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-02-25T02:30:56-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/02/25/power-outage.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","West Virginia","Gratitude","Comfort","Peace","Courage","Presence","Choices","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/02/23/i-have-a-voice.html", "title": "“I Have a Voice”", "content_html": "1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 NLT
![\"Woodcarving\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/566f4de725.jpg\")
“I Have a Voice” woodcarving by Evelyn Jimenez
I have met some of the nicest people through my blog. One is a widow named Evelyn. She became very ill after losing her husband and very nearly died herself. Evelyn is a woodcarver, which I find endlessly fascinating. I’ve tried my hand at carving but I haven’t had the right tools for the job. I really would love to try again sometime…in my SPARE time. sigh
\nA few weeks ago, I saw a little faceless woman she carved and titled, “I Have a Voice”. This little round woman struck my heart. I went for a very long time in my life without a voice. I felt like the faceless woman, being told I wasn’t good enough or I was stupid or I was too fat. When you hear these things over and over and over from someone who is supposed to love you, you soon come to believe them as true.
\nI wanted my own little faceless woman to remind me that I am no longer without a voice. I wanted to remember that time when I was without a face so that I might recognize other faceless women. Instead of making me sad when I see her dejected little hands stuffed in her pockets, I smile because she might just be hiding cupcakes in there.
\nAnd…I know. I know she has a voice in there. I know because I had a voice inside…even when it was stifled. We can always say “I wish I would have known then what I know now.” For me it’s more like “I wish I would have known then WHO I know now.” I think if I’d known then how much God loved me, I would have loved myself more. And, if I’d loved myself more, I wouldn’t have allowed myself to be treated so poorly…even as a young child. Hindsight is 20/20. The best thing I can do now is mentor young women and make sure they know they are precious and loved and deserving. ❤️
\n“The desert and the parched land will be glad; the wilderness will rejoice and blossom. Like the crocus, it will burst into bloom; it will rejoice greatly and shout for joy. The glory of Lebanon will be given to it, the splendor of Carmel and Sharon; they will see the glory of the Lord, the splendor of our God.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-02-23T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/02/23/i-have-a-voice.html", "tags": ["Faith","Health","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Fear","Forgiveness","Courage","Presence","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/02/17/another-peaceful-day.html", "title": "Another Peaceful Day", "content_html": "Isaiah 35:1-2 NIV
![\"Deer](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/99ad6300be.jpg\")
“Deer grazing outside my window in TOW-Wanda.”
I have now spent eight out of the last ten days in TOW-Wanda and I have to tell you…I feel like a million bucks! Usually by this time of year, I’m ready to pull my hair out with boredom. I usually become less content with each passing day, even though the daylight is becoming longer…the long, dark nights shorter. The only two things I have done differently this year is leave the tree up and spend long hours in my camper.
\nThere is a reason girl campers like their little houses on wheels. They offer us a safe sanctuary in which to create. Some of us haul our sewing machines out to the camper in the fall and sit out there happily sewing quilts, clothes for the grandkids, linens for the home, gifts for family and friends. Some knit and crochet, weaving prayers and stories into their creations. Some cross-stitch or needlepoint, creating marvelous pictures from colorful threads.
\nSome gather friends to join us for tea or drinks, showing off our fancy little playhouses. Some have sleepovers with the grandchildren, bringing up the next generation to adore our little campers in the same way we have. There are as many different varieties of girl campers as there are travel trailers and we celebrate each and every one of them every time we tow.
\nMe? Well, as you well know…and I’ve told you repeatedly this week…I write in TOW-Wanda every chance I get. I turn on Pandora, find the Nature Sounds channel, and listen to raucous rainstorms, salient sea breezes, flighty feathered friends chirping in the forests. I’m instantly transported from the chill of wintery West Virginia into another place, another time. My little twinkle lights glow above me…the view out the windows revealing a stoic blue heron near the creek or a browsing herd of deer making their way across the lawn. Yesterday, I watched the moonrise over the hills to the east of the Ponderosa and I counted my blessings in that very moment.
\nI’ve written 30,560 words on my book as of last evening. Words that take me to corners of my mind I sometimes wish were never there. And to places and times that I cherish dearly. These words stir something in me…always. But they are just feelings now. They aren’t happening in this moment. That’s how I keep them from poking me now with little barbs…trolls with sharp sticks…fairies with tiny wands…giants with hammers. They aren’t happening now and God is bigger than any poking thing in our lives.
\n30,560….encouraging words, painful words, funny words, sad words, terrifying words, loving words. This thing is happening! ❤️
\n“A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-02-17T02:30:01-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/02/17/another-peaceful-day.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Positive Energy","TOW-Wanda!","Fun","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","goRVing","Grace","God","Wisdom","Courage","Humbled","Presence","Peaceful Moments","Girl Camper","Girl Campers","Writing","Choices","Change","Art"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/02/15/the-hazards-of-writing.html", "title": "The Hazards of Writing", "content_html": "Proverbs 15:4 ESV
![\"Writing](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/7239a86a12.jpg\")
“When I write a ton, I have a tendency to forget who I told what to. It’s an occupational hazard.”
I’m knee deep in writing this book now. All week, I have gathered my coffee and my writing gear and headed out to “the office”…my wonderful little home on wheels…TOW-Wanda. I turn on the furnace and curl up on the day bed, cover up, and sip coffee till it warms up enough to concentrate. When I shut it down at 3:00 yesterday afternoon, I had 20, 534 words written. It’s amazing!
\nThis is in addition to writing my blog post every day and normal communications with people via text, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and e-mail. Whew! There are a ton of words flowing out of these fingers and I’m literally typing as fast as I can. The downside of all that is…I cant remember who I’ve told what to. Did I type that in a tweet yesterday or text it to my friends Janine and Gayle this morning? Was that story in my blog last week or was I telling someone about that when I saw them yesterday? It’s partially age. It’s partially multiple head injuries and the subdural hematoma I received when my truck was totaled two years ago. It’s partially the brain fog of grief still affecting me. And, it has a lot to do with the sheer volume of words that I write.
\nI know I’ve told you this week that writing the book this time is totally different, but I’m going to tell you again…because it amazes me. When the words flow like this, it’s magic. Time and space disappear. It’s a cross between watching a movie and writing what I see, and typing out dictation. I know it sounds trite to tell you the words don’t even seem to come from me. I know sheer repetition over the years has honed my writing skills, but still…I’ll read something I write and think, “Wow, that’s pretty good. I wish I could write that well!” It’s both intriguing and disconcerting to feel so disconnected from the process and still have it turn out ok.
\nI know I told you it’s easier emotionally this time, but I’ll elaborate on that. Yes, it’s easier in that it doesn’t feel like I’m ripping my heart out of my chest to write this time. However, I’m finding my level of discomfort varies with the topic of the day. I wrote something about anxiety the other day, and that night I felt anxiety rise up in me about something. I haven’t felt true anxiety for quite some time so I can only attribute it to the writing because nothing else has changed. Yesterday I wrote about an episode of childhood sexual abuse and I could feel the prickles of adrenaline running up the back of my arms. I was writing about hard stuff and my body was feeling it.
\nIt’s ok to feel these things. If I am so disconnected from the emotions of the experience, my writing would be flat. It’s a thin line between feeling the feels and having my heart ripped out of my chest. I’ve been praying that God will help me say what he wants me to say, and to give me just enough juice to feel it. He is a good and compassionate Father and he is walking me through this every day. I feel his presence when I work. I am grateful for that.
\nWe had bible study last night. We are still working our way through Goliath Must Fall by Louie Giglio and last night we covered the chapter on Comfort. The Giant of Comfort isn’t those times we take a break and go on vacation or when we have really great furniture that cradles our bodies. The kind of comfort Louie is talking about is complacency. When we do just enough to get by. He said we are closer to God when we are are experiencing discomfort. In other words, when we are out of our comfort zones. When we expand and reach and push ourselves to do something we really feel God is telling us to do, but it’s not something we are necessarily excited about doing. But we do it anyway. that’s letting the Giant of Comfort fall. I feel like that’s what I’m doing with my writing. Sometimes I write things that literally make me squirm. They aren’t always comfortable to talk about. I just truly feel like I’m doing what God has called me to do and he tells me to be honest. There’s very little I hold back here, much to the dismay of some of my friends.
\nAnyway, I just wanted to say, if I start repeating myself too much, someone give me a holler, will ya? Cause there’s only so much I can keep in this little brain when I’m writing this much. ❤️
\n“do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.”\n\n \n", "date_published": "2019-02-15T02:30:42-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/02/15/the-hazards-of-writing.html", "tags": ["Faith","TOW-Wanda!","Growth","Comfort","God","Wisdom","Courage","Peaceful Moments","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/02/10/saved-again.html", "title": "Saved Again", "content_html": "Philippians 4:6 ESV
![\"Grace](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/98c0b1315b.jpg\")
“Knowing who saves me over and over brings me peace beyond understanding.”
I finished my laundry and packed up the car. I had a last minute conversation with a wonderful woman I met recently. Then I headed home from the farm right about dusk. This photo looks like it was pretty light out, but it was dark, dark, dark when I headed into the home stretch on the two-lane country road. It was so dark, you were right on top of deer before you saw them, even with the brights on. Something ahead of me caught my eye. Not three seconds ahead of me, a big tree fell and crossed both lanes. Fortunately, I was going slow and didn’t need to slam on my brakes. I am well aware I missed this falling on me by the skin of my teeth.
\nI happened to be on the phone with Mr. FixIt when I saw the tree fall. There was no one else on the road. He reminded me to put on my emergency flashers. I sat there for a few minutes as we discussed my course of action. I could wait there for someone to come along and either pull the tree off the road or cut it up and haul it off. Or, I could turn around and go back where I came from. There were two routes available to me. One took me through a long area with no cell service. The other took me across a road that had a number of mudslides this week. Ultimately it would take me clear into town and then I’d have to take the interstate south and back out another two-lane. A long, long drive in the dark and still there were areas with no cell service. I decided the shortest route would be best and I headed back toward the farm, but…when I got there, I had already dodged umpteen deer and for the first time in a long, long time, I was worried about driving in the dark, alone.
\nWhen I got to the farm, I called Mr. FixIt and told him I planned to stay another night and I would be home in plenty of time to go to church. He agreed that was a good plan. That’s when I confessed I was actually worried about driving out here in the dark and I couldn’t understand why. I mean…nothing scares me. Three years ago, I wouldn’t have given this a second thought and would have looked at it as an adventure. But now? Now is different. Now it’s not just me. Now I’m not so foggy, not so careless with my existence. Now there are not only my children and friends who love me. Now there is a man and a bonus family that look to me with love and acceptance. It’s not that my life had no value, but even three years ago, the depth of my grief made it difficult to appreciate the time I had ahead of me…the family I already had that were still here and needed me. I have been awakened in the last two years. Awakened and earnestly appreciative of every precious moment I am given on this side of the grass.
\nMoments after my call to Mr. FixIt, a friend sent me a message that Rt. 5, the alternate route I was preparing to travel, was now closed with a large downed tree. It would be quite some time before that road was cleared. Heavy equipment was being brought in to move the tree off the phone lines. So, it seems my guardian angel was quite busy last evening keeping me from harm. I thanked God all the way to the farm for always caring for me and for the protection he afforded me last night.
\nAnd…over the last three days, I have written six chapters and 10,831 words on my book. I’ve written this book three times, at least. And every time before, it was a struggle. I’d read it and re-read it till I was sick of it and it never really spoke to me. It always seemed to me to come out flat…like I just wasn’t reaching the sweet spot where the story flowed. I’d put it away for months at a time, pick it up, and find the same problems. It wasn’t working. I have finally figured out why.
\nI was approached nearly three years ago by a literary agent who was interested in my writing. We signed a contract for a book. I remember when we were getting acquainted, I told her my writing was faith-based and she suggested perhaps I should use a Christian publisher. She didn’t have those connections. I thought about it for a few moments and said no, it might be good if the book was out in the general populous because it could reach many who perhaps struggle with faith. We moved forward with the contract. In the following three years, two things became apparent to me. One, my social media presence hasn’t grown as fast as I had hoped and two, my faith has deepened and now I know I want a Christian publisher. I think God waited for me to decide to include him in the book before he made it clear which direction to go. And before he opened the floodgates of words.
\nI have struggled for over a year with the decision to part ways from my agent. That dark voice kept whispering, “A bird in the hand, you know.” I finally stopped listening to that voice and paid attention to my gut…my inner God-voice…and send her an e-mail last week expressing my desire to change directions and head for a Christian publisher. She totally understood and felt that was the direction I should go and wished me well. So, now I have no agent, but I have the freedom of knowing I did the right thing and the trust that God will get this book out of me and onto paper.
\nThis time, writing is different. The words are literally falling out of me. I’m typing as fast as I can. Nearly 11,000 words in three days is phenomenal! The biggest difference I notice is, this time it’s not slaying me to write it. I feel the healing of the past three years and I know this is the right time. I’m really excited about that! ❤️
\n“‘Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.’”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-02-10T02:30:54-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/02/10/saved-again.html", "tags": ["Faith","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","West Virginia","The Farm","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","God","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/02/09/the-farm-and-me.html", "title": "The Farm and Me", "content_html": "Jeremiah 33:3 NIV
![\"window\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/75abbe2a77.jpg\")
“The Farm is my ultimate happy place!”
If the weather hadn’t turned colder yesterday, I would have spent the night out in TOW-Wanda last night. But, with a low of 17 degrees forecast, I opted for the next best thing and headed to the farm! I made sure Mr. FixIt had everything he needed, filled him with more cold meds, propped him up in his recliner with a cover and a heating pad and made my escape. He still has some potato soup to warm up and I promised I’d be back sometime today. I could sit and watch him suffer and watch TV, or I could write. With his full support, I chose writing.
\nAnd write I did! As of the time I am typing this post, I’ve written 7141 words since Thursday morning at 11:00. That’s a lot of words! The goal when you write is just to get the rough draft down. Write it all out…worry about editing later. That is the most difficult part for me. I want it perfect the first time so I don’t have to go back over it again. I don’t know anyone that works for.
\nI stopped at my cousin’s barn on the way out here yesterday to leave 80 cans of cat food and a 40 pound bag of dry cat food. Yes, I was prepared for the winter and had just purchased all that a few days before the cats were moved to their new home in the big barn. So, they were gifted cat food aplenty! I was thrilled to learn the kitties are hanging out there and haven’t wandered off. I saw Kitty Boy, the young short hair. My cousin said they were both there last night when he fed them. There are six roosters down at the barn and they all get along fine. This makes me happy!
\nThe farm is my time machine. Every time I get to stay here, I am swept back to my childhood. I get to feel all those really great feelings again. This farm and TOW-Wanda are my happy places. Right now, as I write this, I am propped up in Grandma’s bed. I cracked the window open when I first got here so I can hear the water running in the creek. We’ve had a lot of rain this week so the runoff is pretty high.
\nI’ve been really surprised we haven’t lost more trees out here. There are mudslides all around these parts this time of year. The ground freezes hard and when it thaws, it’s aerated. Then the heavy rains come and the ground gets so saturated, all it takes is a good windstorm and trees get uprooted. Mud and rocks slip down, sometimes covering the road…sometimes taking the road along with it.
\nAs Mr. FixIt came home from bowling Thursday night, he called me to say there was a huge tree lying across the road at the top of a hill less that two miles from the house. He managed to turn around and, knowing every backroad within fifty miles of here, made a quick shortcut that would bring him back out on the two lane just past the tree. We were asking on the phone as he drove when he said, “Whoa, whoa, whoa!” I asked what was wrong and he said he drove right into standing water on the road. He wasn’t driving too fast…it was just there before he knew it. It’s easy to see how people can get caught up and swept away in high water when you have little to no warning it’s ahead. Thank goodness, he got right through and was home in no time.
\nI stopped at the Piggly Wiggly on the way to the farm and picked up a few things. I had a small steak and baked potato for dinner. Yummmm! I’ll spend today writing and doing laundry before I head home. I hope you all are planning a wonderful weekend! ❤️
\n“My heart is stirred by a noble theme as I recite my verses for the king; my tongue is the pen of a skillful writer.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-02-09T02:30:22-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/02/09/the-farm-and-me.html", "tags": ["Faith","Positive Energy","West Virginia","The Farm","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","God","Courage","Peaceful Moments","Writing","Choices","The Cats","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/02/08/im-writing-again.html", "title": "I’m Writing Again", "content_html": "Psalm 45:1 NIV
![\"iPad](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/a0fa5b1c9e.jpg\")
“Writing again…this time I mean it.”
About a year ago, I set my book on the back burner at the urging of my agent. She wanted me to focus on increasing my social media presence. And, while taking a break from working on the book was welcome, that time hasn’t made a huge difference in how many people follow my blog or Twitter or Instagram accounts. People come, people go. Maybe you need this for a season. Maybe for a reason. But things just stay the same overall.
\nI’m not complaining…not by a long shot. I love sharing my thoughts and stories here on the daily. But I found myself spending entirely too much time knitting and my book still sits. Sigh. It’s not going to write itself. If it were, it would be a best seller by now.
\nMy accountability team contacted me yesterday and gave me the kick in the butt I needed…with an order. Five hundred words by 5:00 Wednesday afternoon! I got up earlier than usual yesterday. I made sure Mr. FixIt had everything he needed. I packed up my bag with my iPad, headphones, iPhone, and reference materials, grabbed a drink and my umbrella, and headed out to TOW-Wanda.
\nI extended the slide-out which normally holds the dinette. I have the table lowered and a twin mattress on top. I grabbed the pillows off the bed and propped them up at one end. I turned the furnace on to ward off the chill. I jumped in, covered up with the softest minky throw, propped my portable desk on my lap, and dove into my Pages app and started writing. I designed my book cover. I finally took a leap and typed in the title…something that has been eluding me for years. (Shhhh…it’s a secret. I can’t tell you what it is.)
\nSix hundred ninety words later, I turn off the iPad and looked off into the gloomy afternoon. The rain pounded on the roof, pelting the windows with a sound much like bacon frying. A sudden flash of lightning and a quick clap of thunder told me the storm was getting closer and intensifying. In the early days of trailer camping, a thunderstorm caused me to worry I might get electrocuted. I’m sure you aren’t as protected in a camper as you are in a house, but I’ve long since let go of the fear of storms. I leaned back and smiled. I pulled the soft minky material up under my chin and allowed my mind to drift along till I heard a tapping at my door. Mr. FixIt was leaving to go bowl and wanted to give me a hug. He’s feeling better, thank goodness.
\nSoon after he was gone, I gathered up my things and headed back inside. The sky was clouding up again and I knew I was going to need to be inside to keep an eye on that leaky drain downstairs that overflows when it rains. It was a good day. A productive day. Six hundred ninety words down. Who knows how many to go. ❤️
\n“\"Thus says the Lord, the God of Israel: Write in a book all the words that I have spoken to you.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-02-08T02:30:45-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/02/08/im-writing-again.html", "tags": ["Faith","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Positive Energy","TOW-Wanda!","Growth","Courage","Presence","Peaceful Moments","Writing","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/02/06/i-need-that-joy.html", "title": "I Need That Joy...", "content_html": "Jeremiah 30:2 ESV
![\"Joy](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/f029b30bde.jpg\")
“I Need That Joy…down in my heart!”
I love, love, love the way God works in my life! It’s like an elaborately woven tapestry with bright colors here and dark colors there…never seeing what’s developing in the picture till you get some perspective. That’s when you start to see how this thread that was pulled over here is causing that thread to move over there. And then you see…you really SEE. And you know beyond a shadow of a doubt…it is GOD!
\nCase in point. We were standing in the lobby Sunday waiting for the doors to open and head into church. I was talking with my step-daughter about my blog and how my spiritual walk began to blossom within it. I explained how the enemy really started attacking me when I opened up my heart and started praising God in my writing and adding scripture to my posts. I attended my very first Revival and was baptized in the Spirit which took things to a whole new level. Pastor Matt told us one night to take back our homes and our properties and to banish the enemy from the premises. The next morning, I got Grandma’s old bible from the buffet and walked around the perimeter of the yard, hands outstretched, shouting praises without shame. I informed the enemy he had no dominion over me or my house and I showed him the boundary. It’s one of my favorite stories and it was the first time I had shared it with my bonus family.
\nSoon, we went into the sanctuary and were seated. Pastor Justin gave a wonderful sermon about patience. At one point, he started getting animated and talked about banishing the enemy from our homes and properties. I sat back and smiled and thought, “Here it comes!” He went on to say, “Take your bibles and walk around the perimeter of your property and send the devil packing!” My step-daughter and I whipped around and looked at each other, mouths gaped open, and laughed out loud. I love it when that happens. And when you are attuned, it happens a lot. You just have to pay attention. I was so glad God showed them he was there!
\nI told you earlier this year new things were coming. I still can’t talk about the specifics yet, but I knew there were a couple of associations I had to sever before I could move forward into the new project. I’ve waffled, I have to admit. Because a “bird in the hand is worth two in the bush”, as my grandma used to say. I prayed about it and told God I put all my trust in him and I know he will open the new doors where he wants me to go. I hit “send” on the last e-mail and immediately, Spirit told me to turn on the Christian radio station I was listening to earlier in the day. I did, and the worship song “Joy” by King & Country came on. Now, I’ve never heard that song, but listen carefully to the lyrics and you will hear God saying, “Yes! Things were critical and you made a choice. Now…feel the JOY!”
\nWow…these kinds of things really pump me up! My body was humming like I was plugged into an outlet. And, in all actuality, I was. I was getting recharged by the Holy Spirit. I couldn’t help but feel that “joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart!” More to come down the road as the journey continues. ❤️
\n\n“Clap your hands, all peoples! Shout to God with loud songs of joy!”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-02-06T02:30:12-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/02/06/i-need-that-joy.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/02/05/happy-mind-happy-life.html", "title": "Happy Mind, Happy Life", "content_html": "Psalms 47:1 ESV
![\"Meme\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/2fa7f003ef.jpg\")
“Making the little things count, because the little things add up to be the BIG thing!”
Yesterday was a really great day! First of all…the sun was shining and we had a high of 68 degrees here in West Virginia. A difference of over seventy degrees in three days…and Mr. FixIt has a sore throat. sigh I’m hitting him with Zinc and Vitamin C. And prayers!
\nI met a friend for coffee yesterday at the new Starbucks. Sue is a budding artist and she gifted me a watercolor of a little bluebird. She knows how much I love them. For Christmas, I gave her a pair of socks that I knitted and she wanted to give me something special. I’ve had it sitting near me all day and it’s so sweet.
\nThe other day, when I learned Mr. FixIt’s family was going to join us at church, I made us each a notebook. It has three sections…a planner, a place for prayers and praises, and a section for sermon notes. I’ve always said I was going to take notes during the service and this was the perfect time to prepare.
\nHappy Mind, Happy Life…
\nMy bonus granddaughter and I were talking about that just the other day. We were talking about the images we look at. You can never “unsee” something. And the things we choose to put in front of us for visual consumption changes us. It changes our brains. It changes how we see the world and how we see ourselves. We have to be ever watchful with what we choose to feed our minds because “we are what we eat.”
\nWhen I came in from sitting in the sun yesterday afternoon, I asked Alexa to play Contemporary Christian music. As I picked up my knitting, I let the uplifting music wash over me and fill me with the Joy of the Lord. My heart rose with the swell of the music…my skin still warm from the sun…my spirit still stirred from Sunday’s service. It’s good that we carry that image with us into the week. The image of God and the Word and Love and Fellowship and Goodness and Family. These are the things I choose as my Daily Bread. These are the things that I will fill myself with. ❤️
\n“Like newborn infants, long for the pure spiritual milk, that by it you may grow up into salvation—”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-02-05T02:30:06-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/02/05/happy-mind-happy-life.html", "tags": ["Health","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","West Virginia","Growth","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Humbled","Warning","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/02/02/its-something-in-the-blood.html", "title": "It’s Something in the Blood", "content_html": "1 Peter 2:2 ESV
![\"Meme\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/66882bf2b2.jpg\")
“The advent of home DNA tests can open a can of worms for the unsuspecting.”
“Dirty little secrets, dirty little lies…” Don Henley / Danny Kortchmar
\nA few years ago, I bought a DNA kit through Ancestry.com. I picked up my mom’s passion for genealogy research where she left off when she died in 2004. Even though Ancestry was founded in 1983, it would be many years before the company went beyond connecting the dots between people and helping us fill in the blanks in family trees. When the DNA kit became available, it was fairly revolutionary. Here, you could go beyond the little green leaves and find out where you came from…geographically speaking.
\nI dutifully spit in the little test tube. I did what 95% of people do when they set off on such a venture…I basically ignored the small print. Things like saving my little genes in memory banks, selling my genetic information to third parties, and linking me with relatives I have never heard of never crossed my mind. I didn’t feel like I was registering with the government or Big Brother. I just wanted to know if I had any Native American ancestry like I’d always heard I had. It’s minuscule.
\nWhen I received my report, I wasn’t surprised by anything except some distant relative from Norway. Other than that, it was Scots/English/German…exactly as I expected. Then, Ancestry started sending e-mails saying they linked me to others who have done the test. It might be a 3rd cousin, 6th cousin…nothing close. I looked at the first couple. Other things soon captured my interest and in my typical Gemini fashion, I was off chasing butterflies in another field.
\nI recently read stories in the news about do-it-yourself DNA testing turning up surprises. Some that tear families apart. What would you do if you found siblings you’d never heard of? Or, if you found the siblings you were raised with were only half-siblings, indicating one or the other of your parents had an affair? Or, what if you were an anonymous sperm donor and suddenly you have 64 “children” out there?
\nThe idea of anonymity in such things is seriously long gone with the advent of a $50 DNA test kit. Something that once required blood tests and a geneticist now is available on the shelves of any chain pharmacy. People are receiving troubling information with very little counseling to go along with it. There are now tests that can help predict your chances of developing such diseases as cancer and Alzheimer’s. How far of a jump is it for insurance companies to get that information and turn you down for coverage or refuse life insurance benefits if you die of a disease that has been documented as predictable?
\nIt is estimated that by the year 2021, 100,000,000 people will have had their DNA tested by Ancestry alone. There are several other companies doing DNA tests of one sort or another. That’s a lot of data out there. I’d like to think it isn’t going to be used nefariously, but we have no guarantees of that. I know people who refuse to do the tests. I can’t say that I really regret having mine tested. And, I really would like to know if I have a proclivity to succumb to certain diseases so that I can a) prepare myself and my family and b) practice preventative health measures.
\nI think I am beginning to understand what my grandma might have gone through with the space program and computers and cell phones. Things are happening now that we couldn’t have even dreamed up when we were kids. I mean…it’s beyond Dick Tracy and Get Smart. This is really crazy stuff and, I have to admit…it fascinates the dickens out of me. ❤️
\n“The Lord detests lying lips, but he delights in people who are trustworthy.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-02-02T02:30:46-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/02/02/its-something-in-the-blood.html", "tags": ["Health","Family","Overcoming Obstacles","New Ideas","Fear","Courage","Warning","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/01/31/are-we-raising-strong-kids.html", "title": "Are We Raising Strong Kids?", "content_html": "Proverbs 12:22 NIV
![\"School](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/a057ab960a.jpg\")
“School closings for cold weather…are we raising weak kids by saying it’s too cold outside?”
I can’t decide. Were adults negligent when we were kids and they made us stand in sub-zero weather to wait for the bus…in skirts, no less? Or are they teaching kids to give up when things get hard when they call school off for two days because of cold weather? Seriously, I don’t recall ever hearing of someone dying of hypothermia waiting for the school bus in 1969. Did I like it? Heck no! Did it kill me? Not by a long shot.
\nWe weren’t allowed to wear pants to school back then and, by golly, my mom abided by the rules. I couldn’t wear pants under my skirt even if I swore on a stack of Bibles that I would take them off as soon as I got to school. Rules were rules and that was that. I only had to walk three blocks but sometimes the wait was 20 minutes or more if the roads were bad. It was pretty brutal, but I survived.
\nWe didn’t have money for snow boots. I wore my penny loafers and knee socks. My feet were ice cubes by the time I got to school. The skin on my kneecaps was hard and white. There wasn’t such a thing as puffy ski coats, either. I had a hand-me-down wool coat and a toboggan. Still, I never had frostbite. I was rarely sick.
\nThere was a government official that got some backlash yesterday for suggesting we are teaching kids that we quit when things get hard. More than likely, when these kids grow up, their boss will expect them to show up when it’s cold instead of staying home in their jammies and playing video games all day. I’m inclined to think we’ve become a little too soft in this day and age.
\nGranted…I stay in and knit and drink tea on blustery, cold days. But, I payed my dues. We did go out to the farm yesterday. We needed to check the well pump in the cellar house to make sure it wasn’t in danger of freezing. All the water lines were clear, the heat was on, the gas stove in the bathroom was working perfectly, the cabinet doors were open, and so was the basement door. That allows extra heat from the basement up into the kitchen, helping to keep that side of the house warm. The cellar temperature was actually well above freezing. It is built back into the hillside and is covered by earth on three sides. Just to make doubly sure though, we turned on the trouble light that hangs near the pipes to give a little extra warmth. It was 2 degrees when we got home.
\nHa! I’ve turned into my mother…my grandmother…my great-grandmother. I can just hear my grandma saying, “Why, when I was your age, we had to get up and milk the cows and gather the eggs and feed the hogs before we could head off to school. We had to cut the wood for the cook stove, too! We didn’t have any modern conveniences, and we did just fine. This younger generation doesn’t know how good they have it!” I don’t know…I suppose a windchill factor of -15 is as good a reason as any to call off school. It’s wicked cold out there. Be safe if you have to be out…and kids, use this time to learn something. Look up “global warming”, “climate change”, “how to prevent frostbite” and write a little essay. ❤️
\nEdit: I’m going to step up here and say many of you have made very valid points. This is a very dangerous polar vortex and in thinking back, we certainly did not experience wind chills of -50+ when I was a kid. The weather has changed. The economy has changed. I hadn’t thought of all the factors you, as current and former teachers, have expressed. Polar vortex windchills and trophies for all aren’t the same things. Thank you for enlightening me. That’s why I love this blog. You cheer me on…and you teach me when a I need it.
\n“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.””\n\n", "date_published": "2019-01-31T02:30:47-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/01/31/are-we-raising-strong-kids.html", "tags": ["Health","Overcoming Obstacles","Growth","Wisdom","Courage","Aging","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/01/28/some-updates-on-the-kids.html", "title": "Some Updates on the Kids!", "content_html": "Joshua 1:9 NIV
![\"Baby\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/4360a9ce57.jpg\")
“Baby Gwendolyn sitting up with her braces on her legs. Making progress!”
Remember sweet baby Gwendolyn who we have been praying for since last summer? Look at our big girl…sitting up in her high chair with her braces on her little legs. She still is having issues with her hands but she is slowly learning to grasp things. Her lower jaw is receded and she cannot eat yet so she has a stomach tube tube for feeding. But she is bright as a new copper penny and as sweet as a summer rain! What a blessing she is to all who love her!
\n![\"Braving](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/0e0841095e.jpg\")
“Little Khloe is battling leukemia and just lost her hair. She celebrated by braving bare in a fashion show! She’s a rock star!”
Then, there’s little Khloe. Her great grandma went to high school with us. Khloe found out she had leukemia last summer. Last weekend, her family threw an “It’s Just Hair” party where she and many members of her family shaved their heads in support. Khloe lost almost all of her hair and she was tired of it just coming out in chunks so she just wanted it all off. She has a bunch of really cute wigs, but yesterday she was in a fashion show for Justice girls wear and boldly bare with a cute glittery unicorn headband. This brave little girl rocks!!!
\nHere are two precious little girls, going through some pretty big struggles. And their brave families backing them up. It makes any little problem I may think I have pale in comparison. They are living, breathing examples of prayers being answered. I love when Jesus shows us His works.
\nI’ve been praying for my bonus family and last night, the grands with their significant others went to church with me! What a joy that was! And, they want to come next week with my husband and me. So, it was a really, really wonderful weekend. I hope you have a blessed Monday, y’all!
\nHave a wonderful Monday, everyone! ❤️
\n“Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-01-28T02:30:05-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/01/28/some-updates-on-the-kids.html", "tags": ["Faith","Health","Family","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Grace","Love","Courage","Humbled","Change","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/01/27/building-up-my-stash.html", "title": "Building up my Stash", "content_html": "3 John 1:2 NIV
![\"Hand-knit](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/277709f330.jpg\")
“Eighteen hand-knit cotton dishclothes are perfect for impromptu gifts.”
Yesterday was a decompression day. Taking care of and loving on lots of people this week left me needing a day that was all about me, for the most part. I’m almost finished with the cotton yarn I bought to knit dishcloths. There’s probably enough to make a couple more. I have eighteen in my stash. I like having these around for impromptu gift giving. I also get a bar of lavender soap every time my doTerra order comes around and I don’t need vitamins. I put these things all away to have ready for birthdays and hostess gifts.
\nI have this whole bonus family through marrying Mr. FixIt and I am thrilled to say the grandkids are going to church with me today! Mr. FixIt and I will go at noon then when he bowls this evening, I’ll take the grandkids with me and treat them out to dinner after church. I wanted to spend some quality time alone with them. Bonding time is important in step-families…even when the kids are all grown up. I’m so excited…I can hardly wait!
\nI told you I would let you know if I slept well again when I practiced handing everything over to God before bed. Well, I did and it was amazing how fast I fell asleep…and stayed asleep all night. I think I’m onto something here!
\nWe haven’t been to church for two weeks because of bad weather. I can hardly wait to get there today…twice! Have a blessed Sunday, dear ones. I’ll see you this evening for Sunday Night Prayer Circle. ❤️
\n“Children’s children are a crown to the aged, and parents are the pride of their children.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-01-27T02:30:49-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/01/27/building-up-my-stash.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","God","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/01/26/happy-feet.html", "title": "Happy Feet", "content_html": "Proverbs 17:6 NIV
![\"LL](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/8d5ddecbd8.jpg\")
“I love my new Happy Camper Slippers!”
My new slippers arrived yesterday! Yes…I had to have them. They are so cute and comfy. And they make me smile!
\nI’ve had an interesting week ministering to my family, loving my kids through life issues, being a mentor to the grandchildren. Missing the Colorado family. Sharing the Gospel. And the love. It’s been a challenge AND it’s been incredibly rewarding. And, I’m totally whupped tonight as I write this.
\nI have had a lot on my mind this week and I haven’t slept well. So, Thursday night I did like they suggested in Goliath Will Fall. When I laid down in bed, I told God I had worked on this stuff long enough. I said, “Here, I’m giving this to you to work on tonight. I’m going to sleep.” And I did. I mean…it really worked! I slept ten hours straight. I haven’t done that in ages but I’m going to try it again. I’ll let you know how it works.
\nI love how my posts have been stirring people to write to me with their own stories of faith and family. I love how someone writes of a painful situation they are going through and soon, there are others who have chimed in to support them. It warms my heart that God trusts me with this ministry…to my family, to my friends, to my readers. I am grateful for all of you. And for a God that trusts someone like me with such a wonderful gift. ❤️
\n“But I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-01-26T02:30:46-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/01/26/happy-feet.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Positive Energy","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/01/22/action-v-reaction.html", "title": "Action v. Reaction", "content_html": "Acts 20:24 ESV
![\"MLK\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/1beb3f1755.jpg\")
“The Reverend Doctor Martin Luther King, Jr.”
Growing up in the chaos of alcoholic dysfunction made me a reactionary from an early age. There was a lot of anger in my home growing up. Lots of fighting, yelling, slamming, throwing, crashing. I never witnessed my father hitting my mother. He only hit me once. When he did, he came at me from behind and I stood up to him. I stuck my chin out and told him, if he was going to hit me he’d better hit me like a man and do it face to face. I’ll never forget the utter look of defeat on his face in that moment. He dropped his fist to his side, went over to the steps, sat down, and cried. He never went after me again. But, the damage was done. It was done long before that day.
\nI learned to be the peacemaker. To smooth things over. To mediate when things got out of hand. I was the bystander. I acted. Unfortunately, when the anger was directed at me, I reacted. I automatically went into defense mode. I made excuses. I deflected. I diverted attention. I manipulated. It was decidedly unhealthy and took far too many years to come to a head.
\nThe first pivotal moment of my life…that moment when there is a definite line in the sand that separates “all things before” from “all things after” was the overdose. That was when I really did the work necessary to effect permanent change in my life. It’s when I learned about codependency. Before that, there was no clear boundary to define where others ended and I began. I was too busy weaving a web that would hold everything together.
\nLearning about boundaries was a love-hate exercise. I loved finding my voice and standing up for myself. I hated confrontation. I loved the release healthy boundaries gave me because I didn’t have to try to run everyone else’s lives for them. I hated feeling like a fish out of water.
\nIt took a lot of practice. It still does. I still have to remind myself occasionally that I don’t do anyone any favors by not setting boundaries and demand they are respected. I didn’t spend seven hard years in therapy for nothing. Fortunately, Mr. Virgo came into the picture after I had these skills in place and he offered an excellent practice field.
\nAfter sixty-five trips around the sun, I’ve learned enough to know it’s a whole lot easier to carry love than it is anger, hate, discord, dysfunction, or codependency. When I approach any situation from a place of love, my walk becomes more Christ-like. And anytime I lead with “What would Jesus do?”, I am already winning. Conflict is inevitable in life. The only control we have is in how we react to it. ❤️
\n“For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-01-22T02:30:08-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/01/22/action-v-reaction.html", "tags": ["Health","Family","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Peace","Wisdom","Anger","Fear","Forgiveness","Courage","Presence","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/01/20/the-poet-from-darkness-into.html", "title": "The Poet - From Darkness into Light", "content_html": "Galatians 1:10 ESV
![\"Meme\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/37653c9994.jpg\")
“Think before you speak. Read before you think.”
\"maybe death isn’t darkness, after all, but so much light wrapping itself around us — as soft as feathers\"\n\nHow I let a treasure like Mary Oliver slip through my fingers, I’ll never know. It’s an excellent example of realizing how very much I do not know. The internet has been filled with loving tributes to this gentle woman with the expansive heart…her pen trimming away the excesses of flowery verse and going straight for the pit of your stomach. Her words are like magic…painting pictures of love and kindness and tenderness. Nature was her cathedral. Poetry was her torch.\n~ Mary Oliver
Oliver loved Whitman and Emerson, Shelley and Keats. Growing up in a dysfunctional home in Ohio, she ultimately settled in the wilds of New England, wandering through her woods and harbor…taking notes and penning phrases along the way. She has been compared to Emily Dickinson. Her poetry is filled with both darkness and joyous light. Her life partner, Molly Malone Cook, was her constant companion for over forty years, as well as her literary agent. After Molly’s death in 2005, Oliver continued on in Provincetown, Massachusetts until finally relocating to Florida. She rarely gave interviews because she valued her personal privacy and wished for her work to speak for itself. Mary Jane Oliver passed away on January 17, 2019 of lymphoma. And the world lost a valuable treasure.
\nIn researching Oliver’s work, I became introspective. How often do we think, once we have arrived at “a certain age”, that we somehow have attained a level of knowledge that we can, at the very least, term “well rounded”? I know a little bit about a lot of stuff, but there is SO much out there I haven’t a clue about. We cannot possibly learn everything, but how sad that I didn’t know Mary Oliver and her brilliant poetry during times in my life it might have soothed my heart. How joyful that I still have the opportunities to continue learning and growing.
\nWe are but a sum of our life’s experiences, are we not? The other night, I had a troubling dream. A recurring dream about a hopeless situation which will never be resolved nor totally understood. Not in this lifetime anyway. And whenever I have this dream, I am left feeling an ache in my heart…bereft over a loss I had little control over. It leaves me out of sorts for days and colors my every interaction, thus leaving the stains of old hurts smeared onto others who have no knowledge of my pain. It’s unfair and senseless. As I drove to town yesterday, I had a conversation with God. I asked Him to please step in and be an intermediary…to block this dream, and even the thoughts of the events that precipitate it. To take away the memories that come back and haunt me year after year. As I pleaded with God, I literally felt the old, familiar ache physically leave my heart. A weight was lifted and the cloud in my mind dissipated. I immediately thanked Him. Then…I let it go.
\nPoetry. Prose. Words. Prayers. God. They have such power to release you from the bondage of the past…if you let them. If you feel them and taste them and speak them. They can breathe life back into the sore places of your soul. ❤️
\n“If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.”\n\n \n", "date_published": "2019-01-20T02:30:58-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/01/20/the-poet-from-darkness-into.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Presence","Writing","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/01/19/german-comfort-food.html", "title": "German Comfort Food", "content_html": "1 Corinthians 13:1-3 ESV
![\"Kielbasa](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/924cffb50b.jpg\")
“Kielbasa, kraut, and mashed potatoes…German comfort food.”
When we were having coffee yesterday morning, Mr. FixIt asked if I wanted to go to the movies in the afternoon. My mind went over the list of things that needed to be done and I politely demurred. He turned on the weather report and they’re predicting a ton of rain turning to snow over the weekend so he wisely decided to go to town and rent a snake to clear the drain out back.
\nWe have a stairway that goes down into the basement. There is a four inch pipe in the bottom of that stairwell and it drains into a pipe that travels over a hundred yards out to the creek. About every two years, that drain needs to be snaked out so the water doesn’t back up and run into the basement. Also, there is a ditch out at the creek bank that always gets filled in when the spring runoff overflows. It’s an ugly, backbreaking job that no one likes, but it has to be done. With heavy rain in the forecast, it was best to get it over with.
\nWe headed to town and ran some errands before we picked up the snake at the rental place. I overheard the young man who was helping Mr. FixIt lift this monstrosity into the back of his truck.
\n“Who’s going to help you unload this thing?”
\n“That little lady sitting in the front seat up there.” Mr. FixIt sounded confident and proud.
\nWe stopped at the store on the way home and I don’t believe, even at Thanksgiving, I have ever seen so many people. The parking lot was filled. People were circling round and round. There were no carts. And the checkout lines were twenty deep. Mr. FixIt and I looked at each other like, “What the heck?”
\n“They’re predicting snow!” I said. “Let the games begin.”
\nI told him to just drive around and I’d be back out in a jiffy. As I headed into the store, the line from Hunger Games went through my mind.
\n“May the odds be ever in your favor!”
\nI scooted to the back and bought the two items I needed. Non-alcohol beer and a chuck roast. I’m easy. I waited two minutes and hit the self-checkout and was out the door in a flash. There were people in there with multiple jugs of milk and loaves of bread…as if they were anticipating being stuck in their homes for weeks. When we stopped at the discount grocer earlier, I planned ahead by buying an extra bag of flour in case I got a hankerin’ to bake something. It’s crazy what a snow forecast does in West Virginia. It’s a good thing it’s the weekend. I’ve seen them cancel school based on a forecast.
\nI used to kind of think these people were weenies when they cancelled school at the first sign of snow. After all, I lived in Colorado for forty years. If you don’t get out and go someplace when it snows, you’re going to be stuck in your house from October to May. But I’ve got to say, in these people’s defense, driving here in winter is NOTHING like Colorado. There, you can drive 55 in a whiteout blizzard, not that you SHOULD. Here, you don’t dare touch your brakes going 25 or you’ll be in a ditch in a heartbeat. The roads are twisty-turny and hilly. And they have this thing called black ice. It looks the same as wet pavement and it’s deadly. I get it now…people don’t want to go out in it. And school busses have no business hauling our babes through it if it can be prevented.
\nWhen we got home, I had to help Mr. FixIt unload that drain snake. I am telling you what…that sucker was HEAVY. Fortunately it’s on wheels so when we got it out of the truck all we had to do was wheel it to the back stairwell. Then we had to walk it down the stairs. Oy! Once it was down there, I went on inside and Mr. FixIt got to work. After some time, I didn’t hear the machine anymore so I went to see how he was doing. I found him out at the creek bank digging out the ditch. Living on five acres without city sewer isn’t always easy. That was a lot of hard work. I helped him get the contraption back up the steps and into the bed of the truck.
\n“You’re a hard worker,” he said.
\n“Thanks for telling me that, but you’re the one who did the tough stuff. I’ll fix you some supper while you clean up.” I smiled as I patted his bum when I walked by.
\nGerman comfort food seemed to be the perfect meal for the hard workers last night. I boiled kielbasa to leach out some of the salt then tossed it in a skillet with some melted butter. I drained the sauerkraut and added it to the skillet, stirring occasionally so it would brown but not burn. I made mashed potatoes and served the kielbasa/kraut mixture on top. Oh, it was heavenly! It was a good day’s work and that is so satisfying. ❤️
\n“Let the favor of the Lord our God be upon us, and establish the work of our hands upon us; yes, establish the work of our hands!”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-01-19T02:30:11-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/01/19/german-comfort-food.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","West Virginia","Gratitude","Wisdom","Courage","Humbled","Presence","Choices","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/01/18/finding-the-right-tools.html", "title": "Finding the Right Tools", "content_html": "Psalms 90:17 ESV
![\"Screws\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/d377f502e9.jpg\")
“Having the right tool leads to success.”
Good communication skills have not always been my strongest suit. For years, I was afraid to speak up for fear of judgement and rocking the boat. That changed with Mr. Virgo and I’ve honed the skill with Mr. FixIt. Yesterday I told you he was being a little stingy with his power tools. So, that night, instead of stewing over it, I just pointed out that I like power tools, too. He smiled and said he just wasn’t used to women who know how to do things like that. I understand that. Not all women can, or even want to, operate power tools.
\nYesterday, we needed to build another brace at the other end of the bathroom floor. That is where you attach two short pieces of 2x4 to a long piece in an “H” fashion and fasten it between the floor joists to support the new floor above. This end of the floor is located directly over the washer and dryer. It’s an awkward position to stand on a ladder and it was impossible for Mr. FixIt to get up in there, so I climbed up on the washer and dryer and fastened the new boards in with three inch wood screws.
\nI don’t know if you have ever held a drill at an awkward angle, over your head, and tried to hold enough pressure to keep the bit from slipping in the head of the screw, but I assure you it’s not easy. The first two screws stripped immediately. So I did what I always do…I talked to Jesus. I asked him to help me get this job done and the screws went in easily as I kept saying “Thank you, thank you, thank you.” When it got really difficult, Mr. FixIt just reached up and held the end of the drill and it worked like butter.
\nWhen you face the tough things in life, you need the right tools for the job. We had the right wood screws. We had the right drill and bit and a fully charged battery. We had proper lighting and ladders. We had mutual support and trust. And we had Jesus standing in between us. We can call on Him to help us with the most mundane of tasks. My shoulders relaxed and I put all my focus and force on the task at hand and was successful. The right tools for the job…it’s what creates success. ❤️
\n“Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-01-18T02:30:23-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/01/18/finding-the-right-tools.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Fun","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Wisdom","Courage","Presence","Choices","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/01/15/the-difference-between-with-and.html", "title": "The Difference Between “With” and “Without”", "content_html": "Hebrews 4:16 ESV
![\"Arid](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/49b5021677.jpg\")
“The Difference Between With and Without”
I rarely write a post about a specific scripture. I usually write something then find the scripture that best illustrates my thinking. It makes me search more. It makes me read more and study the Word more. It keeps me engaged. This post is different. I was chatting with Danielle the night I was asking her questions about her addiction and overdose. When I told her how happy I was she was getting her life together at 24, I shared my story and told her I felt robbed of nearly a decade of my life. She shared a scripture with me and I made note of it. I have meditated on it for over a week and now I’m ready to share it.
\nI have always believed in God so therefore, I have never lived a day without Him. I will have to say though…Jesus didn’t live in MY house until 2004. By that time, I had already gone through two broken marriages. I had two beautiful daughters. And one broken mind.
\nI didn’t realize how desolate my life had become. I just knew I was shriveling up and dying on the vine. I became broken in my second marriage and, for whatever reason, we couldn’t seem to end it. We became more and more distant and I self-medicated in order to cope. Unfortunately, I was seeing a psychiatrist who did more harm than good and I couldn’t seem to end that either.
\nI knew what I needed. I needed Jesus. But I was married to a Jewish doctor. I took my little girl to Hebrew School every week. I organized all the Jewish celebrations in our small town. I had formally converted to Judaism. I had actually stood before a Beth Din…the Jewish tribunal court…and renounced Jesus as my personal Lord and Savior.
\n“Jesus would NEVER want me now.” I thought to myself.
\nToward the end of that marriage, I laid in bed every night and talked to God. I told him, if anything happened to my husband, I would become a Christian. I consoled myself with thoughts of singing in church…of praying…of reading my Bible. But I just couldn’t do that AND be married to the Jewish doctor. He would leave me.
\nLittle did I know he’d been thinking of leaving for at least five years before he told me. I was hurt. But I was also angry. If we could have both been brave and honest, we could have avoided the pain of the last five to seven years and gotten on with our lives. It would have had far less of an impact on my children…especially Daughter #2 who was just nine years old when I overdosed and we subsequently ended our marriage.
\nI felt robbed. Robbed of time. Robbed of happiness. Robbed of my marriage. And robbed of the Joy of having Jesus in my life…although I couldn’t articulate it as such at the time. When Danielle quoted Joel 2:25, my jaw dropped. It spoke of Redemption. It spoke of Replenishment. It spoke of Fulfillment. And the thing that spoke most to my heart was…the end of shame.
\nI was raised by a father who used shame as his preferred tool of control. Blame and shame were my lifelong companions, and renouncing Jesus had become the number one shame of my life. Before I even realized I needed Him, I was yearning for His unconditional love. Thankfully, I was saved and forgiven and made new. I didn’t have to wait for anything…I just needed to get out of my own way.
\nI loved the fact that as I ministered to Danielle, she ministered to me and told me God would repay me for the years the locusts ate. And He has…oh, my goodness. He has repayed me many, many times over. Far more than I ever deserved. As the calendar turned to another year, I could feel a shift in my relationship with God. No longer a “baby Christian”, I feel I have moved from an observer AT church to BEING the church. It’s a change in perspective and feels like a new level of maturity. It’s hard to describe, but I feel it and I believe it to be real. This is one of the wonders of walking with Christ. I’ve left the arid, desolate landscape of “without” and I’m walking in the lush, verdant landscape of “with”. ❤️
\n“I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten, the hopper, the destroyer, and the cutter, my great army, which I sent among you. \"You shall eat in plenty and be satisfied, and praise the name of the Lord your God, who has dealt wondrously with you. And my people shall never again be put to shame. You shall know that I am in the midst of Israel, and that I am the Lord your God and there is none else. And my people shall never again be put to shame.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-01-15T02:30:47-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/01/15/the-difference-between-with-and.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Courage","Humbled","Presence","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/01/14/the-water-crisis.html", "title": "The Water Crisis", "content_html": "Joel 2:25-27 ESV
![\"Running](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/36c4208b96.jpg\")
“If a crisis occurred and you didn’t have modern conveniences…would you know what to do?”
An alert went out to a good portion of the residents of my home town Thursday evening. There was a boil water advisory. This happens when there has been a water main break or something of the like. It seldom lasts more than a day. Not this one. What started out as “north of the Kanawha River” became “all PUD customers” overnight. Water was coming out of faucets anywhere from clear to partly cloudy to brown. Some people had no pressure at all. Others had a dribble. Still others seemed unaffected but a ban is a ban.
\nIt was interesting to watch Facebook as people became more and more concerned. There really wasn’t a very good explanation given to allay the fears of the citizenry. And, given we live in Chemical Valley, imaginations ran wild. It really could have been anything. Some said it was still ok to shower. Some said not. Others said it was ok to wash your clothes but when they did, large brown spots stained them. Now, I’ll have to admit…this situation did not affect me personally because we live out in the country away from that particular city water system. But, I’ve lived through things like this many times and it is not only a major inconvenience….it can be downright scary.
\nIt happened fairly often in Colorado. Just about every year when the spring runoff brought an over abundance of silt down into the city water intake, the filters were soon overwhelmed and our water got murky. There would often be a boil water advisory. My cousin has to haul water to fill a cistern since they live on the side of a mountain here in West Virginia. When they get a good hard rain, their water turns a murky reddish-brown. Out at the farm, there is a rainwater catchment system in place, but it’s been decades since the cistern has been cleaned or the filter changed. The point being, there are lots of folks who have to boil water on a regular basis. Or they just resort to buying water or taking empty jugs to a family member’s house to refill them. That’s what I did after Mr. FixIt and I started dating. I had about a dozen one gallon jugs I threw in my truck and I filled them when I visited him in town.
\nFor those of us more accustomed to living a more primitive life, these things are par for the course and you just roll with them. But city people who rely on the immediate availability of fresh water at the turn of the faucet get rattled. I don’t blame them. We are creatures of habit and we become complacent in our consumption of utilities. This is such a first world problem. So much of the world’s population has no access to fresh water, let alone electricity, gas, internet, phone, and groceries.
\nWhat would (will?) happen to us if the unthinkable happens and it all goes away??? Will you know how to collect and filter water? Will you know how to produce and preserve food? Will you be able to provide housing and clothing for yourself and your family? Will you be able to gather fuel to cook and keep warm? Do you have skills or goods for bartering? I worry that the last generation to really have those skills is getting too old to provide them. So, here is what I posit. If you have skills, pass them on to young people…your children, grandchildren, great grandchildren.
\nThis isn’t meant to cause an alarmist response. I don’t think something like this is imminent. But it cannot hurt to stock up on some extra jugs of water in case there is an emergency in your area. Parkersburg’s boil advisory wasn’t lifted until last evening. That made three full days without tap water for a pretty good-sized town. I’m not saying you have to go full on survivalist, but knowledge is power. Be prepared…or as prepared as you can be. ❤️
\n“Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-01-14T02:30:26-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/01/14/the-water-crisis.html", "tags": ["Health","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Wisdom","Courage","Presence","Warning","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/01/10/johnny-jaxxa-story-of-devotion.html", "title": "Johnny \u0026 Jaxx...A Story of Devotion", "content_html": "Proverbs 27:1 ESV
![\"Doggy](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/407d5c451c.jpg\")
“Rosie (L), Jaxx (C), and Johnny Boy (R) celebrate Johnny’s 4th Gotcha Day!”
We talk a lot here about death and dying, loss and grief. We talk about losing our parents…aunts…uncles…cousins, our siblings, our children, our friends, and our spouses. We don’t talk a whole lot here about when we lose our beloved fur-babies…those wonderful fur-covered angels that grace us with their presence for a few short years, only to be yanked away far, far too soon.
\nLosing our beloved pets affects most of us the same way as losing a human member of the family. Our hearts break. We grieve. We are lost. We get the same brain fog. The same yearning. If you are an animal lover and have ever been fortunate enough to share your life with a companion animal, then you know what I am saying is true.
\n![\"Sick](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/095a9d9d44.jpg\")
“Johnny Boy arrived so sick with Parvovirus we didn’t think he would live.”
My first dog as an adult was an Aussie/Blue Heeler mix named Boofer. She was brilliant. The only dog I truly did not have to train. I just talked to her and she knew exactly what I wanted from her. And she would do her level best to please me. She had to be put down at the young age of seven after a diagnosis of a pituitary tumor. We managed her symptoms with medication as long as we could but when she went blind, it was time to set her free.
\nAnimal owners know their time with their fur-babies is limited. Boofer was gone too soon. Old Mama Kitty was at least 23-24 years old. Sidney was 14…a big, goofy black lab who owned my heart during a really dark period of my life. Mr. Virgo showed up with a 10-year-old Yorkie/Maltese mix named Cricket who lived to be seventeen. She died just three months before Mr. Virgo did. That was my last dog. I just didn’t have it in me to do it again and my lifestyle isn’t conducive to pet ownership.
\n![\"Boxer](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/5cdb6f2e1b.jpg\")
“Johnny Boy is absolutely CRAZY over kittens! He has to have one…always!”
My friend Aimee is the Grande Dame of animal rescues. If it moves and squeaks, oinks, meows, moos, neighs, or barks…Aimee has to bring it home. Her husband rolls his eyes when another goat or chicken or rabbit or puppy makes an appearance at their West Virginia homestead. It’s all a show…he adores Aimee and if she needs to rescue another dog, she rescues another dog. As she says…she married well.
\nFour years ago, Aimee fostered little Johnny Boy…a mastiff-boxer mix who was dreadfully thin. They soon found he was also dreadfully sick. Johnny nearly died….several times…of parvovirus and parasites and any number of problems. They went to every length to save this little guy’s life. When he got through the initial illness, Johnny Boy started having trouble walking. His joints became swollen and painful. They finally discovered he had a very rare disease of the epiphyseal joints in his legs. After a trip to the State Veterinary School in Columbus, a treatment was finally found and Johnny boy began to thrive and grow.
\nThen, just before the holidays, Aimee found hundreds of little bumps under Johnny’s skin. Again, Johnny Boy does nothing halfway and it took quite some doing to get a diagnosis. When they did, it was not good. It was a rare cancer and there is nothing they can do for him. So, Aimee decided Johnny Boy’s end of life would include the very best days ever.
\n![\"Bonded](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/ff3b6c6414.jpg\")
“Johnny & Jaxx…BFF’s Forever!”
A few months ago, Johnny’s BFF…Jaxx…moved to Florida with his human person. And Johnny was devastated. When they found out Johnny Boy doesn’t have a long time to live, Jaxx’s owner drove him from Florida and left him in Aimee’s care for as long as Johnny needs him. Johnny and Jaxx are insanely bonded. I mean…they FaceTime each other. Seriously!
\nThe other night, Aimee threw Johnny Boy a four year “Gotcha Party” to celebrate and Johnny, Jaxx, and Rosie donned their party hats and sat in the little chairs around the table. They ate scrambled eggs for supper and had Pupcake for dessert. I loved watching the video!
\nAimee posted a video yesterday that shows Johnny having a little trouble breathing. His type of tumor releases histamines and they make his nasal passages swell which in turn makes it difficult to breathe. She knows this is the beginning of the end. And, trust me, she will never let Johnny Boy suffer. When it is his time, she will let him go peacefully. In the meantime, she suffers the anticipatory grief knowing Johnny’s time on earth is short. Yet, she shares him with us…and with Jaxx. I SO love this crazy mutt who came in and stole all our hearts and showed us what loving a rescue is all about. He truly is made of love and sunshine. ❤️
\n“The righteous care for the needs of their animals, but the kindest acts of the wicked are cruel.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-01-10T02:30:03-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/01/10/johnny-jaxxa-story-of-devotion.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Humbled","Aging","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/01/09/into-the-light.html", "title": "Into the Light", "content_html": "Proverbs 12:10 NIV
![\"1](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/9e7393dd0c.jpg\")
“For He called you out of the darkness into his wonderful light.” 1 Peter 2:9
I’ve kind of had a theme going here the last few days given the time of year it is. I still sometimes sit in awe when I look back to where I was nearly twenty years ago. This is how we know how far we’ve come…by looking back in wonder. I struggled so long with a spirit of depression. When the veil lifted and I walked back into the light, it was surreal. Supernatural. Which is exactly what it was, this lifting.
\nI am always consciously monitoring my mental state in the winter. I never, ever want to go back to that dark place again, so I carefully check myself often. Am I keeping up with personal hygiene? It’s one of the first things to slip. Am I sleeping too much? Not enough? How’s my temper? I get cranky when I get blue. Am I comforting myself with food? Am I eating out of boredom? Am I getting out and doing fun things and engaging with people? These are all problem areas and can signal depression.
\nWe had the fourth day in a row of warmth and sunshine yesterday. As a matter of fact, it was 64 late yesterday afternoon. The sun peeked in and out all day. It was glorious. I went out to visit TOW-Wanda. I plugged her in to charge up the batteries. She needs a good cleaning. I had company in there during the wedding and I never really cleaned much after that. One thing that really lifts my mood in the winter is to spend a couple of days in the camper, so I’m getting her fixed up.
\nBeing prepared for the grey days of winter can go a long way in warding off the blues. Keeping healthy foods in the house and limiting sweet snacks helps you make good choices when you want to cozy in with a bag of chips or a plate of brownies. Chilled, fresh oranges are sweet and juicy this time of year. If you really want a salty snack, the tiny bags of popcorn can hit the spot without overloading calories. I don’t want to count calories. I just want to remain mindful of what’s going in. And try to move more.
\nCleaning out a closet or that one junk room you’ve been ignoring can lift your mood and give you a sense of accomplishment. Or, starting a new project. We just started working on the master bathroom this week. It will be fun to see that take shape. Whatever it takes to keep you from hibernating and falling into a deep, blue funk is worth the effort to put towards keeping in the light. ❤️
\n“The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.””\n\n", "date_published": "2019-01-09T02:30:10-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/01/09/into-the-light.html", "tags": ["Faith","Health","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Positive Energy","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","Wisdom","Courage","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/01/08/transformation.html", "title": "Transformation", "content_html": "Deuteronomy 31:8 NIV
![\"God](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/3b3a208d73.jpg\")
“God often uses our deepest pain as the launching pad of our greatest calling.”
Grief comes in a variety of circumstances. My first experience with grief was when my Pop-Pop died just after I graduated from high school. I was devastated. I lost a job I desperately needed when Hubby #2 was in his first year of Medical School. The rehab center where I worked was experiencing some financial difficulties and I was let go. I felt it was personal until the next month when fifty more staff members were given their walking papers. I guess misery DOES love company. I grieved deeply over that loss because I loved the job, for one thing. For another, I was young and had never experienced anything like that. My next major grief experience was the overdose and subsequent loss of my marriage and the alienation of my children. That was horrifying. Then I lost my grandma, my dog, and Mr. Virgo in less than a year.
\nEvery time I’ve faced grief, I’ve thought my world would end. I couldn’t figure out how to live after those losses. And every time, I survived. Not only survived, but eventually thrived. I learned skills from coping with grief. Grief chiseled me into the person I have become. And as painful as it was to go through, God came in and used that pain as a launching pad of my greatest calling…my mission, as it were.
\nI’ve been having some meetings and there are exciting changes coming in 2019. Nothing I can talk about yet, but I can see God’s hand all over it. I was talking about it with Mr. FixIt the other night and told him I’ve been praying for these exact things…I have to walk forward into this new territory. Don’t worry…I’m not going anywhere. Just more fun and excitement I can’t wait to share with you all! ❤️
\n“Whenever, though, they turn to face God as Moses did, God removes the veil and there they are—face-to-face! They suddenly recognize that God is a living, personal presence, not a piece of chiseled stone. And when God is personally present, a living Spirit, that old, constricting legislation is recognized as obsolete. We’re free of it! All of us! Nothing between us and God, our faces shining with the brightness of his face. And so we are transfigured much like the Messiah, our lives gradually becoming brighter and more beautiful as God enters our lives and we become like him.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-01-08T02:30:50-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/01/08/transformation.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/01/07/january-bluebirds.html", "title": "January Bluebirds", "content_html": "2 Corinthians 3:16-18 MSG
![\"Mountain](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/8c2cb343f4.jpg\")
“Mountain Bluebirds are glorious in January!”
I don’t know about where you are, but here in West Virginia, the weather has been lovely. We have had three days straight of sunshine and near fifty degrees. When Mr. FixIt and I left church yesterday, we both let out an audible sigh.
\n“Ok, this IS a beautiful day, isn’t it?” I love that my sweet husband notices such things and really FEELS them.
\n“Yes,” I said. “I can get through a West Virginia winter if I just have a few days like this to lift me up.”
\nThat is one thing about Colorado, besides my wonderful family, that I miss desperately. Plenty of sunshine days in the Rocky Mountains. And there truly is nothing more beautiful than Mountain Bluebirds on the crisp white of snow.
\nMy friend, Roxanne Morris, is an incredibly talented artist and photographer. She caught these images yesterday and I asked if I could share them with you. They make me smile. Mr. Virgo has brought me bluebirds from the beginning. He knew how much I loved them. I cannot see them without thinking of him. And, since yesterday was my re-birthday, it was only fitting that he send me bluebirds…albeit through my friend’s lens and Facebook. These are COLORADO bluebirds. These are the same as the ones that fly around his grave when I go visit him.
\n![\"Mountain](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/a008ded5f0.jpg\")
“The flash of blue against the crisp, white snow of Colorado makes Mountain Bluebirds a favorite.”
I marveled all day yesterday at the vast differences in my life now compared to the same day nineteen years ago. I stood in church and sang with great joy and enthusiasm. I held hands with my sweet husband. We enjoyed breakfast together after church. We shared some time at the farm. And we came home to the Ponderosa. I spoke to Daughter #1 and she told me she loves me and misses me. I chatted with Daughter #2 and we shared our love. I received a text from Hubby #2…the one to whom I was married at the time of the overdose. It was a lovely text with pictures of their dogs and he was joyful and there was no mention of the past and my heart filled with love and joy for our healing. And, to top it all off, Mr. Virgo’s beloved Eagles won the wild card game yesterday. So, yeah…he’s happy, too. And still sending me bluebirds. ❤️
\n“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.\n\n", "date_published": "2019-01-07T02:30:28-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/01/07/january-bluebirds.html", "tags": ["Faith","Health","Hope","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Forgiveness","Courage","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/01/06/the-pivoting-point.html", "title": "The Pivoting Point", "content_html": "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.””
\nJeremiah 29:11, 13-14 NIV
![\"Snow](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/ec45847fd7.jpg\")
\nThis is the day that I refer to as my re-birthday. It was the day I hit rock bottom and had to start navigating my way back up. It wasn’t like I really wanted to die. I just wanted the pain to stop. Everything had become so painful.
\nI used to tell the details of this day over and over and over to anyone who would sit still. I told about my relationship to a man who wasn’t taking care of me the way I needed. He’s not a bad man at all. Years of illness and my altered personality from all those drugs had taken their toll on both of us. I told about the psychiatrist who misdiagnosed me as having a chemical imbalance in my brain. I told about how my life experiences, including episodes of childhood sexual abuse, had created the perfect storm that produced that fateful day.
\nIt’s nineteen years now. So close to two decades. Not quite one third of my life has passed. SO much has happened in those nineteen years, including burying my next husband. I am a sum of my experiences, as we all are. But, I am not DEFINED by those experiences anymore.
\nThe person I am today doesn’t resemble who I was back then. The only cells that are the same ones now that were present on that night at the turn of the millennium are neurons…the very cells I was trying to shut off. Everything else has been made new…both physically with the passage of time, and spiritually with my salvation.
\nThe value of the story has changed. I no longer want you to take sides with me and hate my ex-husband. I no longer want to make excuses for my behaviors. I no longer want you to feel sorry for me. These things were all present for some time in the retelling. Now, the value of the story isn’t so much the yardstick that measures how far I’ve come, but more a testimony that…no matter how far you’ve gone down the wrong path…you can turn around and have a better life.
\nWhile my abuse came from prescriptions, and Danielle’s (see my post about her earlier this week) came from street drugs and a needle, we are no different. We were both addicted and we were both saved by the same Grace. We were both snatched from the jaws of death by a loving and forgiving God. He didn’t cause our problems, but he did allow us to walk through them so we could learn and grow into the purpose He designed for our lives.
\nIt’s hard for me to believe that was me…that I was that far gone. I will tell you this, though…I will forever tell how Jesus picked me up and carried me when I stumbled and fell on January 6, 2000. ❤️
\n“so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-01-06T02:30:09-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/01/06/the-pivoting-point.html", "tags": ["Faith","Health","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","God","Wisdom","Fear","Forgiveness","Courage","Warning","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/01/05/thwarting-a-spiritual-attack.html", "title": "Thwarting a Spiritual Attack", "content_html": "Isaiah 55:11 NIV
![\"Psalm](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/4f4b01e30d.jpg\")
“Man says…show me and I’ll trust you. God says…trust me and I’ll show you.” Psalm 126:6
So, I was minding my own business, tucked under my blanket, happily knitting when I got a text . My dear friends Janine and Gail and I have a chat room where we visit just about every day. Janine was traveling through and was stopping at Gail’s to spend the night. I was three hours away but I wasn’t going to miss out on seeing my good friends. Impromptu road trip!
\nI got here just after dark. Janine had her friend Diane with her and I was thrilled to meet her. Another friend, Jan, came to join us and we just had a grand time. Diane is a devout Christian and is a PR person. Jan is a retired pastor. You can imagine our entire evening was talking about our stories and how God has worked in our lives.
\nI was standing in the kitchen giving Diane my testimony about finding Jesus when I started feeling ill. It worsened over the hour and I headed upstairs with a bucket, just in case. Everyone had gone to bed so when I came to Janine’s door I tapped.
\n“Janine?”
\n“Yes, dear.” She opened the door wide. Her smile quickly faded when she saw me. “Ginny? What’s wrong?” She came into the hall and touched my arm.
\n“Janine, I’m being spiritually attacked!” I knew it as sure as I knew my own name. I was suddenly, violently ill.
\nI spent the prior twenty-four hours pretty immersed in Jesus. I watched War Room…a powerful movie about spiritual warfare. Then I came to Gail’s and spent a whole evening talking about very powerful, spiritual things. There were five very strong women engaged in animated spiritual conversation.
\nJanine and Diane came into the room and laid hands on me and prayed fervently. Within a half hour, I felt much better.
\nIf you don’t believe in such a thing as spiritual warfare, I am here to tell you it’s a very real thing. The enemy does not like when powerful, spiritual women start professing faith like we were. But his power is in whispering lies and making you believe things that are not real. We sent him packing. A whole army of angels surrounded me and kicked his butt! We can just rejoice in that for a while, ok? I believe! ❤️
\n“Jesus turned and said to Peter, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns.””\n\n \n", "date_published": "2019-01-05T02:30:25-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/01/05/thwarting-a-spiritual-attack.html", "tags": ["Faith","Health","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Fear","Forgiveness","Courage","Girl Campers","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/01/04/snatched-from-the-jaws-of.html", "title": "Snatched From the Jaws of Death", "content_html": "Matthew 16:23 NIV
![\"Young](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/d0dc64b37d.jpg\")
“She was snatched from the jaws of addiction and saved by the Blood of Jesus.”
She’s just twenty-four. Yet she was addicted to heroin for six years. And occasionally she did meth. On April 14th, she overdosed on both and landed in the ICU for four days on life support. She wasn’t even out of the ER when she popped up on my radar. I’m in a small group at church with someone who knows Danielle very well. The text came in begging for prayers to save this beautiful girl.
\nAnd pray we did. Our whole church prayed for her. Actively. Daily. There were prayer warriors stationed at the hospital. There were friends and family talking with her. They wanted to connect her with someone who could help her in this fight. And they wanted Jesus in Danielle’s corner.
\nShe resisted, as you might imagine. At first she said she’d talk to him. Then she wouldn’t. And finally, just before discharge, she relented. I’m unsure of the exact timeline, but I know it wasn’t long till this beautiful girl was saved in a parking lot with many prayers surrounding her.
\nThe change that has come over Danielle is remarkable. When you see her today, and see the light of Jesus on her, it is so hard to imagine her shooting heroin into her veins. She has attended a faith-based residential program three times. These weren’t three dropouts. This was three separate sessions. Because, as anyone who has been set free of the demon of addiction can tell you, it’s never a one and done situation. It is a life-long learning process. And she is committed.
\nA couple of days ago, Danielle took a plane to Hawaii to attend discipleship training. When she arrived, her luggage was somewhere in Dallas. When she got to the campus to check in, she found out there had been a miscommunication and she was short on funds…four figures short on funds. She reached out to her church family and we raised the funds in about three hours. There is no way to hide God’s work in this. And it is so obvious the enemy doesn’t like it. He tried to throw a wrench in the works at every turn but our God is a mighty God. It wasn’t long till the enemy was put in his place.
\nLast night, I watched War Room. I’ve always considered myself to be…if not a prayer warrior…then at the very least, a fervent prayer. Oh, my…that movie has me planning a War Room of my own! People like Danielle remind us of the power of prayer. I am so proud of her hard work and her willingness to keep plugging at this. I can’t wait to see what she learns in discipleship training. I cant wait to see what God has in store for her! I’m so happy God plucked her from the jaws of death because I know He has plans for her…to prosper her and not to harm her. ❤️
\n“I must go on boasting. Although there is nothing to be gained, I will go on to visions and revelations from the Lord. I know a man in Christ who fourteen years ago was caught up to the third heaven. Whether it was in the body or out of the body I do not know—God knows. And I know that this man—whether in the body or apart from the body I do not know, but God knows— was caught up to paradise and heard inexpressible things, things that no one is permitted to tell. I will boast about a man like that, but I will not boast about myself, except about my weaknesses.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-01-04T02:30:51-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/01/04/snatched-from-the-jaws-of.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Change","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/01/03/we-rise-by-lifting-others.html", "title": "We Rise by Lifting Others Up", "content_html": "2 Corinthians 12:1-5 NIV
![\"Meme\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/8e3f5780ef.jpg\")
“Blowing out someone else’s candle won’t make yours shine brighter. Remember that.”
Have you ever had someone in your life that went out of their way to put you down? Of course you have. We all have. I was in a long term relationship that was like that. Comments like, “You aren’t wearing THAT are you?” “Well, THAT was stupid!” These things take a toll on you after a while. It took a long time, and a great deal of therapy, to learn those things were said by a person who was egotistical but still suffered emotional injuries from a less than demonstrative childhood.
\nIt happened with my dad. It happened with most of the men I’ve been involved with. Men who suffer so they must make YOU suffer in order to feel better about themselves. The wounds run deep.
\nMr. FixIt and I have a different kind of relationship than I’ve ever experienced. I am much more free to express my feelings with him than I have been with anyone else. I think part of that is age. Part is setting the ground rules early in the relationship that we can say anything. I’m still learning how to govern that. Too much freedom and some things come out sounding unkind. Many a truth was said in jest.
\nWe rise by lifting others up. I know from experience what that constant needling feels like and I don’t ever want my sweetheart to feel less than loved to the max. At the same time, there are moments in any relationship when you have to blow off steam. That’s fine, as long as you fight fair. Life is just so darned short. I want to really live it…not walk on eggshells like I did in the past.
\nI pray every day that I will give my very best to my husband and my family, to my friends and acquaintances. I strive to be my best self, but I don’t beat myself up when I fall short. I just try again the next day. It’s called being human. ❤️
\n“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-01-03T02:30:15-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/01/03/we-rise-by-lifting-others.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/01/01/out-with-the-oldin-with.html", "title": "Out With the Old...In With the New", "content_html": "Ephesians 4:29 NIV
![\"Foggy](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/f3a7e6a24f.jpg\")
“It was a foggy, rainy day in West Virginia for the last day of 2018.
My word for last year was “presence”. I think, overall, I did a pretty good job keeping my focus in the here and now. Nothing I can change in the past, and worrying about tomorrow is a complete waste of time. I know the other day I said my word for the New Year was going to be joy, but after giving it a great deal of thought, I decided “HOPE” was far more appropriate.
\nHope is such a gift. I remember the first year after losing Mr. Virgo, I really felt hopeless. I really looked forward to the new year because I could say, “My husband died last year.” As if that sleight of hand would magically make everything better. It didn’t. And I was perplexed that it did not.
\nHope. Hope is a gift from God. I have great hope…a seemingly endless supply. I have enough that I will share it by the bucketloads in the coming year. And, when I speak, I will be mindful to instill hope in others through my speech and actions.
\nA year is gone, another ushered in to replace it. May this be a year of peace, of love, of good health, and abundant hope. May you always have enough. ❤️
\n“Even those who are young grow weak; young people can fall exhausted. But those who trust in the LORD for help will find their strength renewed. They will rise on wings like eagles; they will run and not get weary; they will walk and not grow weak.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-01-01T02:30:18-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/01/01/out-with-the-oldin-with.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Courage","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/12/31/saying-goodbye-to.html", "title": "Saying Goodbye to 2018", "content_html": "Isaiah 40:30-31 GNB
![\"Mother-daughter](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/8929a444f4.jpg\")
“A mother-daughter duo singing worship songs to close out the year.” Photo Credit: The Warehouse Church
We had a special celebration at church yesterday. Instead of having the kids over in their area, they joined the adults. And, instead of hearing a message from Pastor Justin, we ended the year with an hour of praise music and communion. It was a special treat to see the children of our worship team on stage singing with their parents. This little gal was amazing and it warmed my heart to watch her.
\nAs the old year fades, we cannot help but look over the last twelve months and review what we have accomplished. It is easy to be critical of what we perceive as mistakes. The woulda-shoulda-coulda’s can creep in, and that really doesn’t serve us well. Looking back with a hopeful heart takes practice.
\nI was telling someone yesterday that I was glad to have 2018 over with. But when I really gave that some thought, I realized that’s just wishing your life away. There were some very sad things that happened this year, true. I lost three people I loved very much…all within two months. Their deaths saddened me greatly and I have learned enough about life to know…the greater the love, the deeper the grief. I was blessed to have these three in my life to love and love me back.
\nThen, there were all these health problems I had to deal with. They were a major pain, but when I look back I realize I was so blessed to have insurance. I know there are people who can’t afford to see a doctor and let medical issues go till it’s too late. I was blessed with knowledgeable physicians and excellent hospital care. I cannot complain.
\nThe highlight of my year, of course, was getting married to my best friend. Mr. FixIt is my rock…my life partner…my playmate. My life is so much happier with him in it and I gained a bonus family!
\nSo, I won’t wish away time. I will remember Aunt Viv, and my cousin Tom, and my “other-mother” Louisa with much love…keeping their memories alive by saying their names. And I will cherish the gifts God gives me daily…love, insurance, health, good doctors, a roof over my head, food on my table, a loving family, and a man who thinks the sun rises at my feet. As I head into the new year, I will tuck this one away with solemn gratitude.
\n❤️
\n“Praise the LORD, my soul, and do not forget how kind he is.”\n\n \n", "date_published": "2018-12-31T02:30:50-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/12/31/saying-goodbye-to.html", "tags": ["Faith","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","Peace","Courage","Humbled","Presence","Choices","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/12/30/gwendolyns-journey-with-arthrogryposis.html", "title": "Gwendolyn’s Journey with Arthrogryposis", "content_html": "Psalms 103:2 GNB
![\"Arthrogryposis\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/1ccabb6501.jpg\")
“Baby Gwen was born with arthrogryposis…a rare congenital anomaly that causes some joints in the body to be stiff and bent in odd directions.”
A few months ago, I asked you to pray for my friend’s little baby granddaughter and you all stood up and joined hands and prayed hard. Baby Gwen came into this world a beautiful little flower…but some of her petals were damaged. She has arthrogryposis…a rare congenital defect that affects multiple joints. There are typically joint contractures which may be stuck in one position. The muscles surrounding these joints may be weak, stiff, or even missing altogether. Little Gwen’s left leg was bent backwards and lay across her tummy. Her feet and hands are turned inward and her little chin is drastically receded.
\n![\"Meme](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/9e03ffeb7c.jpg\")
“Her damaged petals are what made her more beautiful than all the other flowers.” A. J. Lawless
As Gwen has grown, some of these contractures have needed to be addressed more urgently. Because her lower jaw recedes, she cannot drink from a bottle. She eventually had a stomach tube placed to get tube feedings directly into her stomach. And, because she can’t swallow, her normal saliva can choke her to death. She has to have someone awake with her 24/7 in order to suction her airway when her secretions get in her way. Between her airway and tube feedings, physical therapy and doctor’s visits, little Gwen is more than a fulltime job. I’m telling you this though…God couldn’t have given her to a better family than the one she’s in.
\n![\"Leg](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/df63439bd8.jpg\")
“Gwen has had a series of casts placed on her legs to bring them down into position for surgical repair.”
The latest surgery was a tendectomy. This will clear the way for eventually walking. I know it’s hard to imagine her ever walking when you look at that newborn picture, but she has had a series of casts as well as the surgery and her legs are down much closer where they need to be. She is just now being able to coo and gurgle baby gibberish and it makes your heart soar when you see her in a video. Her huge, sensitive eyes look into your very soul. She is the sweetest little thing.
\n![\"Stomach](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/411351c86c.jpg\")
“Baby Gwen is fed through a tube placed surgically into her stomach because she cannot swallow well enough to eat.”
Gwen’s parents are young. Mommy had to quit her job to stay home with the baby. With all the expenses that go along with a situation like this, there is also a Go Fund Me page to help with daily expenses and challenges. I rarely share this kind of thing, asking for donations, but I know this family personally. They are a wonderful, close knit family who needs a little extra help. It’s the end of the year. If you find you need to donate a little more, or if the Spirit moves you, please consider helping this young family out.
\n![\"Arthrogryposis\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/3c75e2863d.jpg\")
“The muscles in Gwen’s arms and hands are weak and she is just now learning to ‘hold’ toys.”
You can find Gwendolyn’s story at:
\nhttps://www.facebook.com/GwendolynsJourney/
\nYou can find their Go Fund Me page at:
\nhttps://www.gofundme.com/gwendolyn-strong
\n![\"Baby](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/9663d5261f.jpg\")
“I look forward to every post as I follow Gwendolyn’s Journey. This baby will never be told she can’t do something…they will just find a way.”
“As Jesus was walking along, he saw a man who had been born blind. His followers asked him, “Teacher, whose sin caused this man to be born blind—his own sin or his parents’ sin?” Jesus answered, “It is not this man’s sin or his parents’ sin that made him blind. This man was born blind so that God’s power could be shown in him.”\n\n", "date_published": "2018-12-30T02:30:15-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/12/30/gwendolyns-journey-with-arthrogryposis.html", "tags": ["Faith","Health","Family","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Humbled","Presence","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/12/29/looking-for-the-light.html", "title": "Looking for the Light", "content_html": "John 9:1-3 ICB
![\"Sunset\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/7ba6044c5c.jpg\")
“Looking for the Light”
In the next week or two, one after the other…folks will be taking down their Christmas lights. My goodness, I know people who take their decorations down as soon as the last present is opened! Me? Well, if I didn’t have to dust the darned thing, I’d leave my tree up all year. Oh, I love my tree! Mr. FixIt picked out two or three trees and sent me pictures of them when I was in Colorado that first Christmas we were dating. I chose the one I wanted and he picked it up on sale after the holidays. He’s such a good man!
\nThankfully, we are past the winter solstice, and the days will incrementally reward us with more and more light. But it will be a while before we really notice it. Until then, I will hang on to my sweet, white lights on my tree. And my scented candles. And my battery operated candles that automatically turn on and off. And the little candles in each window that stay up all year. And the accent lamps. There are no curtains on the windows so I can squeeze out every moment of light every day. I crave light.
\nIn the past, I have fallen victim to the habit of saying, “I hate winter!” “I hate the cold weather!” “I hate the snow!” Well, you know what? Whether I hate it or not, it is going to be here. Defeatist jargon steals joy. Either way, hate or joy, it’s still going to be dark and cold. So why not choose joy? Why not change the negative self chatter to something like…”There is joy in this moment.” There is joy in that sunbeam, no matter how briefly it shines. There is joy in the snow…no two snowflakes are alike. There is joy in the trees as they stretch their naked arms up into the sky, their roots settled in for a rest before they burst forth with their gift of green.
\nThis transformation of my thinking doesn’t come in a straight line. I’ve found myself being decidedly grumpy occasionally over the last couple of weeks. Then I remember my word…presence…and I come back. It may be a forever battle, but my war cry will always be “Joy!”
\nThat is my word for 2019. Joy!
\n“These people who live in darkness will see a great light. They live in a place that is very dark. But a light will shine on them.” Isaiah 9:1-2”\nMatthew 4:16 ICB\n", "date_published": "2018-12-29T02:30:33-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/12/29/looking-for-the-light.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Presence","Choices","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/12/24/christmas-a-season-of-healing.html", "title": "Christmas: A Season of Healing", "content_html": "
![\"Santa](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/0c682f301c.jpg\")
“My Santa and Mrs. Claus”
Dear Santa,
\nThis is the sixth Christmas without my Mr. Virgo. I know you remember the day I sat beside you in your great big comfy chair. It was that first awful Christmas after he died. I was crying and you saw me standing there alone. And that great big heart of yours was so soft…you moved over to make room for me and patted the seat, letting me know I should come sit for a while.
\nI was crying…trying so hard to regain my composure. You waited patiently for me to gather my wits about me. Finally, I leaned towards you. You leaned in to hear. “My husband died. I need a new heart.” I could almost hear your heart breaking for me. You put your arm around my shoulders and whispered back. “I’m so sorry.” Your voice was thick with emotion. You patted my back as my shoulders shook with sobs.
\nIt wasn’t long till I got it together. I apologized for being such a mess. You said, “Nonsense. You’re perfect!” As I prepared to leave, you asked, “Won’t you have your picture taken with me?” My heart skipped a beat and for just a moment…a fleeting moment, I felt the joy of childhood as I nodded yes.
\nWe took a photo, you and I…and we were bonded in that moment. I’ve written to you every year since that December day in 2013. I’ve related my progress as I’ve navigated this grief journey…my ups and downs. My successes and the stumbles. And here it is…2018…and have I got news for you!
\nI got married!!! Yes…it’s true! I came back to West Virginia two years ago. Along the way, I ran into my best guy pal from high school and, well…the rest is history! We were married in a field at his home. We were married by our lifelong friend…a pastor. And, Santa…he such a good man, my Mr. FixIt. We are two peas in a pod. He goes to church with me every Sunday. It is the first time I have been equally yoked in a marriage and it is amazing!
\nI just wanted to let you know I’m doing well. I still have moments where I experience grief. I always will…it is the price you pay for great love. I continue my mission of writing here and reaching others who are on the same journey. Thank you for being there for me that sad, sad day. Thank you for being my cheerleader. And thank you again…from the very bottom of my heart…for being real and asking Jesus to bring me a new heart. ❤️
\n“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”\n\n \n", "date_published": "2018-12-24T02:30:33-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/12/24/christmas-a-season-of-healing.html", "tags": ["Faith","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","Peace","Holiday","Courage","Be Joyful!","Marriage","Uncategorized"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/12/23/a-starting-point.html", "title": "A Starting Point", "content_html": "Psalm 147:3 NIV
![\"The](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/ef4d5c1655.jpg\")
“We found this channel on Dish Network that shows nothing but a wood burning fireplace with the snaps and pops. We had it on all afternoon while I knitted. It was awesome…and no dirt or smells!”
I was reading a tweet yesterday from a woman who struggled with an eating disorder. It embarrassed and frustrated her so every day she told herself, “Tomorrow, I will begin to address this and heal.” She told herself that for twenty years before she finally did something.
\nWe are faced with situations all the time which need our attention and we justify waiting. People won’t get a housekeeper in to help till they get the house clean. I never understood that, because…isn’t that what you’re getting the housekeeper for in the first place? People won’t lose weight (myself included) because we’ll just wait till after Thanksgiving or after Christmas, or…or…or… The list goes on and on.
\nFaith. Faith can be a huge struggle. A lot of churches don’t seem to really welcome you till you look more like they do. Till you act more like they do. But what if you’re a jacked up dysfunctional human like so many of us? “Oh, I’ll go to church when I conquer this addiction.” “I can’t go to church…I don’t have good enough clothes to be seen with those nice people.” “They don’t want someone like me down there.” That’s the same as the housekeeper theory. It doesn’t make sense.
\nMr. FixIt and I went to church last night for Christmas service and Pastor Justin gave three simple tips for getting started on whatever issue you are having…no matter how difficult it is.
\nYou don’t have to be a certain way or get to a certain place to get started. Just start…exactly where you are in the moment.
\nDo you have a talent or skill? Use that. Use it to work or to reach a goal. Use it to bridge a gap between you and others.
\nYou don’t have to go on a mission to Africa or build a rocket ship. Lift people up where they are. Serve in whatever capacity you can. My mission is writing this blog and speaking to church groups. Yours might be knitting prayer shawls or painting a house for a shut-in.
\nThese three steps can be used in every day life in every situation. From raising your kids to volunteering in retirement. Let’s enjoy the holidays, help others where we can, and plan on changing our little corner of the world in 2019. One builds on the next till we can’t help but lift each other up and make this a better place to live.
\nOne way Mr. FixIt and I are going to increase our giving is a great idea I learned from Larry at the bowling alley. We see Larry at church often and he’s such a selfless giver. He told me he looks at all his $1.00 bills. In the circle on the left side is a letter. He saves the “J”, “G”, and “B” bills. Jesus, God, and Bible. Then he places one between each page of a bible and when the Bible is full, he presents it to the Pastor and they pray over it. It has become a ministry for him and Larry is now filling his fifth Bible. We picked up a Bible last night at church because we realized we need to start where we are, we need to use what we have, and we need to do what we can.
\nWe went out to dinner after church and we were figuring the tip. Mr. FixIt was pulling out some ones and he found a “J” bill. I put my hand out and he smiled as he handed it over. We have our first bill in our Bible! ❤️
\n“In the morning, Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly.”\n\n \n", "date_published": "2018-12-23T02:30:42-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/12/23/a-starting-point.html", "tags": ["Faith","Growth","Courage","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/12/17/forgiveness-equals-freedom.html", "title": "Forgiveness Equals Freedom", "content_html": "Psalm 5:3 NIV
![\"Meme\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/7b8df47345.jpg\")
“Forgiveness=Freedom”
I’m not sure what I expected when I became a Christian in 2004. Lightning? The parting of the sea? Enlightenment? Thunder? I do know what I received was life altering. I received a healing to my very core. I felt like every cell in my body had been made new. It was remarkable.
\nWhen I was a baby Christian, I was like a sponge. I knew God, and loved Him. I knew Jesus, and finally embraced Him. But, when it came to the Holy Spirit, I was clueless. I had no idea exactly who He was, how He worked, what His function was. As the years have gone by, I’ve learned more and more and have developed my relationship with the Holy Trinity. And once in a while I get a big A-Ha moment that shines a light on some aspect I didn’t understand before.
\nI’ve long known and understood when the Holy Spirit talks to me. Those “nudges” that move and steer me in a certain direction are an indication of His presence. When I worship or hear a particularly moving sermon or scripture and I get goose bumps…that’s the Holy Spirit. All those years when I felt a knock on the door of my heart to let Jesus into my life? That was the Holy Spirit. I get all that now. And sometimes when I call out to Him and get the answer in moments, it reiterates just how close the Holy Spirit is….He lives inside us. He is that aspect of God that touches our hearts and minds with an intimacy only God can provide. I had that experience this weekend.
\nWe had lunch with some of the local residents who live near the farm. Over lunch, my elderly aunt became a topic of discussion and I recounted how difficult that time had been. Then at church yesterday, Pastor Justin spoke on forgiveness. True forgiveness breaks the chains that are holding you prisoner. I thought back to my conversation of the day before and realized, I still had a spirit of unforgiveness as I was holding some resentment and hurt in my heart over some of the things my aunt said and did while I was trying to help her. In retrospect, I was quite filled with “You have no idea what she put me through!” That resentment, however small, is the poison I keep drinking yet she is totally unharmed.
\nAt the end of services, Pastor Justin did an alter call and asked those to come forward who wished to let go of resentments and hurts and embrace a spirit of forgiveness. He came to each of us and laid his hands on our heads and prayed over us. I left feeling completely changed…yet again.
\nDo you have someone you are harboring a spirit of unforgiveness for? Is there someone who has hurt you that has left you saying, “I’ll show you!”? If so, this is a beautiful time to just let it go. Pray for those who have hurt you. Seek ways to praise them in public for the blessings they have given you…even if that blessing is the insight you gained from their unkindness. And, this is the season of giving. Send them a card. Stick a $5 gift card for coffee or to a restaurant. Tell them, “You know, I just wanted to let you know what a blessing you have been this year.” Or “I know you’ve gone through a rough patch and I just wanted to reach out and tell you I’m thinking of you.” Forgiveness goes a long way toward uniting us. I’m not saying send a gift card to your abuser. Or even reaching out for conversation with someone who physically or emotionally abused you. But you can still pray for them. The spirit of forgiveness in you just might bring you a new level of peace and healing of your own. ❤️
\n“bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.”\n\n", "date_published": "2018-12-17T02:30:42-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/12/17/forgiveness-equals-freedom.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Hope","Positive Energy","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Courage","Humbled","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/12/13/depression-not-everyone-is-merry.html", "title": "Depression: Not Everyone is Merry and Bright", "content_html": "Colossians 3:13 ESV
![\"Decorations\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/c538091599.jpg\")
“Not Everyone is Merry and Bright at the Holidays.”
Do you remember back at Thanksgiving when I told you I ran across a distressing Tweet from someone talking about suicide? I ended up getting busy that day and didn’t get a chance to look back for the Tweet until the next day. I was so afraid I wouldn’t find it, but I did. I felt compelled to respond…another nudge from the Holy Spirit to go where I’m needed. I reached out and heard back. I know very little about this person. I don’t know age…male or female…nothing. I’m very careful to encourage seeking professional care, which is being done. It feels as though the crisis of three weeks ago has eased a bit and now we are communicating. The last message was…
\n“Why are you doing this? I’m not used to a stranger extending so much kindness and praying for me.”
\nI’m not telling you this to draw attention in a “look what I did” kind of way. What I’m trying to demonstrate is what Pastor Justin preached on last Sunday.
\nLOVE>HATE
\nLove is greater than hate. The Bible instructs us in this. If my brother weeps, I should weep with him. We are instructed to sit with them. In Ezekiel 3, Ezekiel has started having visions of God and God is instructing him to go down to the exiles in Tel Aviv and “sit where they sit”. In other words, spend time with them in their circumstances so that he might better understand where they are coming from.
\nWhen my Twitter friend asked why I am being so kind and praying, my answer was direct and honest.
\n“Because, I was in a dark place one time. I OD’d and almost died. I saw the damage it did to my family. No one really heard my pain till I finally got a good therapist after the OD. I am now an encourager. It is my mission in life to lift up others and pray for them.”
\nNot everyone is having a Hallmark Holiday. When you come across someone who is hurting, sit where they sit for a while. Offer what you can. Pray with them. Be quiet with them. You never know when you might be the person to tie the knot in the end of another person’s rope so they can keep from slipping off. ❤️
\n“Then I came to them of the captivity at Tel–abib, that dwelt by the river of Chebar, and I sat where they sat, and remained there astonished among them seven days.”\n\n \n", "date_published": "2018-12-13T02:30:05-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/12/13/depression-not-everyone-is-merry.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/12/11/kitchen-comforts.html", "title": "Kitchen Comforts", "content_html": "Ezekiel 3:15 KJV
![\"Roses\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/42d0bf36e4.jpg\")
“Mr. FixIt brought me roses.”
When I’m struggling with grief, a day in the kitchen does wonders for me. Mr. FixIt knew I hadn’t slept well the last couple of nights since learning the sad news of Miss Louisa passing away, so he was gracious and let me sleep in as long as I wanted to yesterday. I must say, when I awoke around 11:00, I did feel much better. I padded into the kitchen to make my coffee and greet my sweet man in the family room…steaming mug in hand.
\nI snuggled into the loveseat and wrapped my blue fox blanket around me. The Christmas tree was decorated and standing to my left in front of the big picture windows. The gas stove was cranked up and putting off some decent heat. The heavy frost still laid white on the grass and trees in my view. And, amazingly, the forsythia had several bright yellow blooms on them casting a stark contrast to the grey palette of December.
\nI sipped my coffee while Mr. FixIt read the paper. The TV droned quietly in the background…some fourteen year old was answering questions on a game show. I tuned it out as I stared at the decorations on the tree and took inventory of my feelings. The pain I felt when I heard the news of yet another loss was easing a little and shifting to the lonesomeness of not being able to pick up the phone and call whenever I want. It is familiar turf for me.
\nAfter a while, I sighed and went into the bedroom to dress. Mr. FixIt put on his insulated coveralls and went outside to work a while. I carried my second cup to the living room and sat down to knit on a pair of socks. I texted my friend Gail who is touring Europe to see how she is doing. My friend Janine sent me a text to remind me she was going live at 3:00CST. I put my phone away and turned Pandora to “Traditional Christmas.” I spent the next hour or so in quiet meditation, my hands wrapping the wool yarn around the needles with the muscle memory of a skill I learned in my youth.
\nI decided to mix up a batch of oatmeal raisin cookies and was pulling the last batch from the oven as Mr. FixIt came in from the cold. I turned on the kettle and he had a nice cup of tea as he ate a cookie, still warm from the oven. He watched me move around the kitchen, cleaning up the bowls and baking pans. I sensed his eyes on me. This is the relationship we delight in. I looked up from wiping the counter and he smiled.
\n“You treat me so well.”
\nI smiled back. A knowing smile. An appreciative smile. This is the part of him that is like Mr. Virgo. He loves and appreciates me and is quick to tell me. I love that.
\n“I like spoiling you,” I grinned. He laughed, gave me a little pat as he tucked his mug in the kitchen sink. He pulled up his coveralls and went back outside. I watched him as he walked out the door. How can a coverall make a man look that sexy? I smiled as I tucked the towel in the door handle of the oven and turned out the light. I had another hour to knit before I started supper.
\nWhen I was at the farm the other night, I brought home a pot roast from the freezer. When it was thawed, I cut it in cubes. I put about a cup of flour in a gallon ziplock bag with some salt and pepper and dropped in the cubed roast. I tossed the meat in the flour, rubbing the pieces through the bag to ensure they were well coated then dropped them into a hot skillet with a little oil in it. When the meat had been seared on all sides, I removed it and put it in my electric pressure cooker. I put in a can of beef broth and a can of water, replaced the lid and pressure cooked the roast for 55 minutes. Once it was finished, I let it cool for about twenty minutes without releasing the pressure. I released the pressure carefully and removed the lid. The meat bubbled in a nice thickened gravy and smelled divine. I poured the meat and gravy out into a large storage container and set it on the counter. When it was cool enough, I popped it in the fridge to be used during the week for meals and sandwiches.
\nYesterday, I cooked up half a bag of egg noodles. I took out half the meat and gravy and placed it in a saucepan on low heat to warm up. I sautéed a whole package of sliced mushrooms in two tablespoons of butter. Everything was ready at the same time so I drained the pasta, and put it back in the pan, poured the beef and gravy in with the sautéed mushrooms and added 3/4 cup of sour cream. I gave it a quick stir and called Mr. FixIt to the table for supper.
\nA day like that is soothing to the spirit. It reminded me that, while I miss those I have lost, I have skills in place that I did not have when I lost Mr. Virgo. It is not lost on me that I have the added blessing of this sweet man to be my companion and helpmate to love and support me as I navigate the losses. I kind of feel like I’m cheating…I don’t have to grieve alone like I did when I became a widow. That kind of grief is so much harder than this. I am grateful. ❤️
\n“‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.””\n\n", "date_published": "2018-12-11T02:30:08-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/12/11/kitchen-comforts.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Presence","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/12/05/the-secret-to-a-good.html", "title": "The Secret to a Good Relationship", "content_html": "Revelation 21:4 NIV
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/31b51b39dc.jpg\")
“As you grow closer to God, you can’t help but grow closer to each other.”
A young man I barely know came up to me at church the other day. He knew Mr. FixIt and I had just been married. He was quite interested in knowing the secret to a good relationship. He wanted to know how you KNOW you have the right person.
\nOne might not think I know the answers to those questions, given I just entered my fourth marriage. That sounds awful, doesn’t it? Like maybe I don’t know what I’m doing. And, I suppose if you ask my two ex-husbands, they might agree with you. I would counter with a statement: I learned with the loss of each relationship. I learned to examine my own behaviors and contributions, or rather…lack of contribution…in each relationship. I learned about what I DIDN’T want in a relationship.
\nIt doesn’t really benefit you to approach a new relationship with a look backward at what you didn’t like before. It does benefit you to look forward with an attitude of “How can I be the best spouse I can be without losing myself here?” I smiled at the young man and said…”I have the answer for you!”
\nHe looked at me in surprise and payed very close attention.
\nI held up my hands, fingers and thumbs pressed together forming a triangle.
\n“Do you see this? This is your relationship. You are here. Your spouse is here.” I pointed to the base of either thumb.
\nI held up my left hand and said, “See? If you have God in your life, you work towards a good relationship with Him. You not only raise yourself up, but you move forward. The same goes with your spouse.” I held up my right hand to demonstrate.
\n“When you are married, and you put God first in your relationship, you each raise yourselves higher, but what happens to you individually?”
\nThe young man broke into a huge grin. “You get closer to each other!”
\n“Yes! That’s exactly right! Do you see how simple that is? There’s no real secret here. Just keep God as the primary focus of your marriage, be the very best partner you can be, try to outlove each other, and He will take care of the rest. It’s nothing more than faith and physics!”
\nI gave the young man a pat on the back and headed on in to find Mr. FixIt and take my seat beside him as we put God first…this day and all days. ❤️
\n“He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.”\n\n \n", "date_published": "2018-12-05T02:30:43-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/12/05/the-secret-to-a-good.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Uplifting Stories","Prayer","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/11/29/somewhere-over-the-rainbowbluebirds-fly.html", "title": "Somewhere Over the Rainbow...Bluebirds Fly", "content_html": "Proverbs 18:22 NIV
![\"Man](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/57bf26fbb2.jpg\")
“Ron Rudolph and his grandson building bluebird houses in memory of his late wife.”
I have told you many times that Mr. Virgo sends me bluebirds. It first began when I stood by his grave…heart broken…sobbing, when I heard a birdsong nearby. I looked to my right and just a few feet away, a bluebird sat on a pole and was singing. It lifted something in my heart. I could feel my husband’s presence and it was comforting. Since then, countless bluebirds show up at odd times. Mr. FixIt and I have taken to saying hello to him out loud when we see them.
\nThis sweet man I am married to called me into the family room yesterday and said, “Look, I want you to see this.”
\nI sat down to watch a segment on the Today show about a man in Minnesota. Ron Rudolph lost his wife to a brain tumor this past January. When he found himself wandering around the house in the middle of the night, he decided to go out to his wood shop. He saw a bluebird house hanging on the wall. His wife loved bluebirds and he had made several of the houses to place around their yard for her to enjoy. He decided to cut out a few birdhouses to keep his hands, and his mind, busy.
\nAfter constructing several birdhouses, he enlisted his daughter’s help in setting up a way to sell them. He wanted others to enjoy bluebirds, in his wife’s memory. Now, there are four generations building bluebird houses in his shop and a portion of the proceeds goes to the hospice that cared for his late wife.
\nI reached out to Ron yesterday and shared my story of losing Mr. Virgo. I asked if I could share his story with you here and he was thrilled. I have ordered two bluebird houses…one for the Ponderosa and another for the farm. I know you will love this story as much as I have. I’m looking forward to getting to know this beautiful family better.
\nYou can find the Today Show story posted on their Facebook page: Rudolph’s Bluebird Houses
\n\n❤️
\n“All you saints! Sing your hearts out to GOD! Thank him to his face! He gets angry once in a while, but across a lifetime there is only love. The nights of crying your eyes out give way to days of laughter.”\n\n \n", "date_published": "2018-11-29T02:30:37-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/11/29/somewhere-over-the-rainbowbluebirds-fly.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Love","Courage","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/11/19/loving-what-is.html", "title": "Loving What Is", "content_html": "Psalm 30:4-5 MSG
![\"Woman](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/bbd34fe274.jpg\")
“Snapchat filters make me see the beautiful woman inside. The mirror makes me see the beautiful Child of God that I am on the outside!”
I love my grandkids. I don’t get to see them and interact with them enough. Big is 14. Little is 11. Both are at the age where their interests lie elsewhere. Still, Little and I engage in bouts of “Let’s top each other in Snapchat.” She always wins. She does the cute and funky filters that twist your face up or adds bunny ears and whiskers. I go for glamour shots that take away my wrinkles and gives me the face of a super model. Vain? Not really. More like seeing the woman I feel like.
\nI’m sixty-five. Even in my primest of prime years, I was never super model material, but I could turn a head or two. I still can, if truth be told. Just ask my new, still-smitten husband. He thinks I’m the most beautiful woman on the planet! And, when I bask in his love-light, I feel even MORE beautiful. Isn’t that lovely?
\nWhen I look in the mirror and I see the wrinkles, the graying hair, the sagging skin, the cellulite I realize I am not looking at myself correctly. I am listening to the enemy whisper…”You’ll never be enough.” Instead…I change my focus. And you know how I do that? I listen to Jesus.
\nHere’s what Jesus tells me.
\n“You are altogether beautiful, my darling: there is no flaw in you.” (Sol. 4:7)
\n“You will be a crown of splendor in the LORD’S hand, a royal diadem in the hand of your God.” (Is. 62:3)
\n“Those who look to him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed.” (Ps. 34:5)
\n“For we are God’s masterpiece…” (Eph. 2:10)
\n“…Created to do good works which God prepared in advance for us to do.” (Eph. 2:10)
\n“Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill his promises to her!” (Lu. 1:45)
\n“God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day.” (Ps. 46:5)
\n“She is worth far more than rubies.” (Prov.31:10)
\n“But by the grace of God I am what I am.” (1 Cor. 15:10)
\n“See, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands…” (Is. 49:16)
\nThis is your time. God is within you. You are inscribed on His hands. Did you hear that? On his HANDS! He will fulfill his promises to you. You do your part…believe. Leave the rest up to God. Do you seriously believe the Almighty who created the stars in the sky does not count the hairs on your head? You are precious in His sight. Really.
\nNow, go out there and hold your head up high on this Monday morning. Smile at that person in the mirror. Need I remind you that you are a beautiful, perfectly imperfect image of God? You are loved. You are cherished. You are coveted. You are protected. You are awesome. There is ONLY ONE YOU.
\nI know. You may not be feeling it. You may be going through some pretty tough times right now. You may feel discouraged. You may be facing a crisis. You may be battling demons. You may be in the dark throes of grief. God has put it on my heart there is someone out there I need to tell this to so listen carefully. This is not the end of your road. He has a purpose for you that you haven’t even imagined yet. Don’t quit. You cannot fail as long as you do not quit. That miracle might just happen in the next five minutes, so stick with us here. Reach for Jesus’ hand. He will never, ever turn his back on you. He will never leave you. He will never cut you down or say mean, hurtful things to you. He will never make you feel small. He will never make you feel “less than”. He will meet you right where you are and love the stuffin’s out of you. Trust me on this.
\nYou are a child of God. ❤️
\n“...And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?” Esther 4:14 NIV\n", "date_published": "2018-11-19T02:30:47-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/11/19/loving-what-is.html", "tags": ["Faith","Health","Uplifting Stories","Prayer","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","God","Peace","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Courage","Humbled","Choices","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/11/17/grief-is-a-crucible.html", "title": "Grief is a Crucible", "content_html": "
![\"Refinery\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/e12ab5519c.jpg\")
“Grief is a crucible…you come out entirely changed by the process.”
I was interviewed yesterday for an article for a major financial company. The topic was whether widows find navigating finances difficult in grief. I asked her how long she had to discuss this and suggested she put on a pot of tea. For me, dealing with finances was one of the most difficult aspects of my grief process aside from the fact my husband died. I was terribly unprepared and totally unknowledgeable.
\nI’m the first to admit I was a spoiled princess. Money was always the source of arguments in my house growing up so that carried over into my marriages. Being the wife of a doctor, money wasn’t really tight. I had a checking account that wasn’t really monitored. What I thought was just “not worrying” turned out to be “highly irresponsible.” Mr. Virgo and I had separate accounts and we both had good jobs. I just didn’t worry about it. I’d ask his opinion. I had a financial advisor but he wasn’t necessarily overly involved. I just left my IRA with him and hoped for the best.
\nMr. Virgo often commented that I should find a different advisor because he didn’t think the guy was doing much for me. But, since it was my money from my divorce, he left it to me to make my own decisions. Money talk makes me highly uncomfortable so I decided the devil you know is better than the one you don’t. It was easier to just stay where I was. An ostrich with my head in the sand.
\nThen the unthinkable happened. You are never prepared entirely. I sure could have been more knowledgeable though. A friend suggested a Christian financial advisor. After meeting with her, I moved my IRA over and started learning about being a responsible steward for the gifts God gave me. This is what the journalist and I discussed during the interview.
\nWe talked about some of the difficult decisions I had to make. Selling the house was major. Getting rid of 95% of my personal belongings and downsizing from a three bedroom house into a thirty foot camper was a challenge. Traveling across the country and trying to help my elderly aunt was difficult. Whenever I am interviewed about the early period of grief, it really strikes me how much territory I have covered since Mr. Virgo died.
\nThe first thing I did when I hung up the phone was text my girlfriends and remind them to have that difficult conversation about end of life decisions. Know where everything is. Have a notebook with all the accounts and passwords. If you go over to my website, there is a link there where you can purchase an excellent book called The LastingMatters Organizer by my friend, Barb Sedoric. I wish I would have had something like this before I so unexpectedly became a widow.
\nDo you know what a crucible is? When you have raw ore, you place it in a crucible and heat it up to ultra high temperatures. This burns off the impurities and leaves you with something stronger, better, precious. Grief is a crucible that turned my gritty “sand” into colorful glass that reflects the light in a million different directions. It’s not till I’m forced to turn around and look that I can see how far I’ve come. ❤️
\n“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.” Isaiah 43:2 NIV\n \n", "date_published": "2018-11-17T02:30:37-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/11/17/grief-is-a-crucible.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","God","Wisdom","Courage","Downsizing","Change","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/11/16/the-bad-news-vs-the.html", "title": "The Bad News vs The Good News", "content_html": "
![\"Young](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/02f7c222d6.jpg\")
“This young man defeated the odds with determination and perseverance.”
You and I both know the news is heavily sensationalized in order to sell. The competition to get the most readers quite often outweighs deserving recognition of “feel good news”. Feel good stories get shuffled back in the paper to Section D, page 12, below the fold.
\nI read a story yesterday. You may have seen something in late summer about a young woman who ran out of gas on an interstate off ramp. She reported a homeless man offered her his last $20 to buy gas. She was so taken by his selfless generosity, she and her boyfriend started a Go Fund Me page to reward this man and help him get off the streets. In this day and age, with so much bad news coming at you in every direction, we all wanted to celebrate this kind man’s honest gesture.
\nMoney flooded in and soon the Go Fund Me account had over $140,000 in it. It wasn’t long till things started taking a twist. The man who was supposed to be the recipient of this windfall sued the young couple and said they were holding onto the money for themselves and he wasn’t getting what he deserved. After a thorough investigation, the whole thing unraveled as a scheme cooked up by three people who knew each other for several months after meeting in Las Vegas. They are all charged with fraud and theft and I don’t know what all. It’s a sad thing to see thieves take advantage of well meaning folks with such a ruse. It harms legitimate attempts to help deserving people who are down on their luck.
\nWhen I am overwhelmed by the badness of bad news, I go looking for GOOD news. Stories that uplift, reward, honor people who make a difference. People who are often the unsung heroes. The humble and kind folk who don’t draw attention to themselves. I found one such story in Richard “Tre” Jenkins. This young man spend the majority of his childhood moving from one homeless shelter to another. Somewhere around the sixth grade, he realized…unless he wanted history to repeat itself, he wanted his future offspring to have a better childhood. He was already smart, but he kicked it into overdrive and started working hard at school. He enrolled in after school programs that helped him improve his writing and then applied for a scholarship to a college prep high school for children of poor, single-parents. He received that scholarship then applied to, and was accepted by…Harvard University on a full ride scholarship.
\nHis uncle did set up a Go Fund Me page to help him with expenses that are not covered by his scholarship such as books, a laptop, and other essentials. Hard work should be rewarded and acknowledged.
\nFor every bad news story…look for the good news stories that blow them out of the water. Don’t believe there is no good in humanity. Don’t buy that. Often the bad news stories that are being put out there are being done so on purpose…to provide a smokescreen. To divert our attention from something else going on that maybe someone doesn’t want you to know about. Paranoid? I don’t think so. Every time I hear something absolutely outrageous, there’s usually someone behind the screen, pulling the strings. Sort of like the Great and Powerful Oz…just a pathetic old man yelling into a microphone from behind a curtain….hoping you won’t see how small he really is. ❤️
\n“They will have no fear of bad news; their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the Lord.” Psalm 112:7 NIV\n", "date_published": "2018-11-16T02:30:22-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/11/16/the-bad-news-vs-the.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","Courage","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/11/09/remaining-hopeful-in-a-hopeless.html", "title": "Remaining Hopeful in a Hopeless World", "content_html": "
![\"News](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/e5176b3168.jpg\")
“When the news is on fire, how do you stay hopeful?”
We awoke yesterday to the news of yet another mass shooting. We are only three days out from another season of hateful politics. Glaciers are melting and species are disappearing. Computers can generate images that are easily passed off as truth. China just released the first AI news anchor. There will come a time when we won’t be able to tell what’s real and what isn’t. There’s so much death and destruction, murder and mayhem, and just pure evil in this world. How do you remain hopeful in a world like this?
\nI was reading some comments yesterday on a news post. One after another, people expressed hopelessness. I just read that a college student was supposed to go to the place in Thousand Oaks but she had homework. As a child, she went to a school in Colorado where a gunman broke in, took hostages, and eventually killed a girl then himself. She asked her mother why death followed her so much. There were people at the dance hall who had been at the concert in Vegas that was attacked. How on earth do you remain hopeful in circumstances like this?
\nCompound all this with grief and it is SO easy to become hopeless. To succumb to sadness and depression. I mean, here I am…the perennial cheerleader…the veritable Pollyanna, as Mr. Virgo called me. I’m weary of all this negativity. It’s beyond negative. It’s evil.
\nI can’t just stick my head in the sand. I can’t stick my fingers in my ears and yell “LA LA LA LA LA I CAN’T HEAR YOU!” I can’t cover my eyes and pretend I don’t see what’s going on. That isn’t productive. It isn’t healthy. And it’s not realistic. Granted, I don’t watch TV so one might say I am practicing avoidance. I say I’m being selective. I choose my media outlet based on who I feel gives the most fair and unbiased news reporting. I cross check sources and references. I Google things I am skeptical about. I practice critical thinking. En masse. It’s tedious. It’s time consuming. But it’s the only way I can keep my senses from being barraged and eventually overwhelmed.
\nI look at the world through the lens of my faith. I am a Christian. And I am a Liberal Democrat. I have not looked up the statistics, but I am sure I am in the minority…looked at distrustfully by both sides. And therein lies the problem. Sides. Division. US against THEM. Divisiveness is encouraged. Chaos is a smokescreen. The enemy is very, very busy now.
\nWhen I find myself feeling mired down by all the hatred in the world, I remind myself…I’ve read the Book. I know how this story ends. The light prevails over darkness. Faith, hope, and love. God tells us love is everything. It is behind every commandment. We are to love God with every ounce of strength we have. And, we are to love our fellow man as we love ourselves.
\nThe enemy whispers doubts and delusions. Yes. There are evil things happening. Yes, there is darkness all around. But, I can put light out there. I can find ways to bring God’s light into the world. I can carry the love of Jesus in my heart and let Him shine through my thoughts and actions. And if I can do that, others can do that. The enemy wants me to believe I am the only one trying to make the world a better place. He says things like, “Why are you even bothering?” He is whispering lies meant to break me, to discourage me. But I won’t be discouraged. I’ll WALK STRONG as long as there is a breath in me. I will always look up. I will seek God’s face. I will ask for his comfort and guidance. I will pray for discernment to show me what is true and what is not. But most of all, I will trust Him. Because of His promises to me. He has never, EVER failed me. And that, my friends, is how I remain hopeful in this fallen world. ❤️
\n“If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; if he is thirsty, give him water to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head, and the Lord will reward you.” Proverbs 25:21-22 NIV\n", "date_published": "2018-11-09T02:30:21-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/11/09/remaining-hopeful-in-a-hopeless.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Grace","God","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Presence","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/10/21/live-a-good-life.html", "title": "Live a Good Life", "content_html": "
![\"Autumn](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/a8ba6147d5.jpg\")
“Live a Good Life”
When we were decorating the tent for the wedding, I went around the house, the buildings, and the farm looking for decor I could use. There was so much more I could have put out there, but frankly, I realized we were just going to have to haul it all back into the house afterwards. I decided to just keep it simple.
\nI was standing in the kitchen giving some last minute directions to my wonderful friend, Charlotte, when I looked up above the kitchen sink and saw this sign. I took it down and handed it to Mr. FixIt and said, “This goes out by the front of the tent to greet our guests!” It’s our daily reminder to “Live a Good Life.”
\nThis has been the busiest, jam packed week we have had since we started dating. So much has happened, I’ve really just started processing it all. Aside from the changes that come with marriage, and the death of a dear family member, something else has been rattling around in my head wanting attention.
\nIt wasn’t so much what WAS there. It was more…what WASN’T there. Namely, that dogged undercurrent of grief that has simmered just beneath the surface of my life for the last 2,049 days. I know grief is not something you “get over”. I know it’s something you “get through”. It is something you learn to walk around without falling into that giant hole in your heart. It is something you learn to deal with in time. I honestly had no idea it would change with the commitment of another marriage.
\nIt seems the act of marrying has caused a…shift in the force, so to speak. Maybe it’s the high of the wedding itself, but I don’t think so. Maybe it’s a gift from God for being obedient. Maybe it’s a natural progression of things when significant life changes occur. Maybe it’s just the Evolution of Grief.
\nWhen there are significant milestones in life, like your child’s wedding, or the birth of a grandchild, and your person isn’t there, it causes their death to come front and center. You think about how much he would have loved to see that. How much your son or daughter misses their dad. How your grandchild will never know that grandparent. It reminds you of an emptiness.
\nThat was totally missing last weekend.
\nOh, I thought of Mr. Virgo that day. Of course I did. I even had a quiet moment before the wedding when I silently thanked him for having been in my life. However, I wouldn’t have been getting married that day if he were still alive. And, I love Mr. FixIt SO much. I can’t imagine my life without him. It wasn’t like I had to say to myself, “Don’t think of Mr. Virgo!” He just…wasn’t there.
\nThat kind of surprised me, actually. Because, like I said, I honestly didn’t know what to expect. It’s never occurred to me to ask other widows who have remarried how it affected their grief. So, like I’ve done from the beginning, I feel what I feel and I write about it. The feeling has persisted all week. Mr. Virgo is still here, but he’s standing much further away. Because…just as I stepped out the door to walk across the field and marry my sweet Mr. FixIt, I looked up and told Mr. Virgo…”Don’t worry about me now. I’ve got this!” ❤️
\n“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-10-21T01:30:04-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/10/21/live-a-good-life.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","God","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Change","Wedding"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/10/19/a-beautiful-day.html", "title": "A Beautiful Day", "content_html": "
![\"Wind](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/3135e09382.jpg\")
“On our way home yesterday, I caught a glimpse of the wind turbines atop a ridge near Elkins. It was an incredibly beautiful day.”
The last two days were perfectly beautiful in the mountains of West Virginia. We left home around 11:00am Wednesday and got to our motel room an hour before the viewing. We hadn’t eaten since early so we went looking for something to eat after the viewing. You have three choices in the little, tiny town of Petersburg…Subway, Pizza Hut, and McDonald’s. We drove fifteen miles to Moorefield, hoping for a restaurant but found nothing we were willing to try. We we ended up buying some sandwich fixings at Food Lion and had a picnic back at the room.
\nThere was no cell service and no WiFi at the motel which was fine by me. I wrote and scheduled Wednesday’s and Thursday’s posts Tuesday night in anticipation of being off the grid. It was really chilly when we got back to the room so I took a hot bath, bundled up, and got under the blankets and caught up with a week’s worth of devotionals. There were four channels on the TV so we turned it off and fell sound asleep by 9:30! Unheard of for us.
\nThe funeral was yesterday at 11:00am. It was a very nice service. They played some songs…Elvis singing Amazing Grace…One Day at a Time. And one other I’ll share with you here.
\nTheirs was a love story, through and through. My uncle told me the first time he set eyes on my aunt, he was smitten. There was a lot going on in 1956. My Uncle Sonny was killed in a plane crash in 1955. Not long after, my Aunt Rosie got married. So, Uncle Dudley and Aunt Viv decided to elope to Oakland, Maryland and get married…in the same place my grandma and grandpa eloped to. Well, when they came home and told everyone…let’s just say, grandma wasn’t very happy about it. She loved Aunt Viv. She just wanted a wedding.
\nThat was the start of 62 years of devotion. I remember their love as being full of fun and laughter and playfulness. I sat behind him at the funeral and when they played this song, he bowed his head. His shoulders shook slightly from his silent tears. The only other time I remember him crying was when I called to tell him Mr. Virgo died. It broke my heart.
\nAs they played “Love, Me” by Colin Raye, I listened to the lyrics and realized the song was about their love. And I cried along with him. For broken hearts. For lost loves.
\nThe funeral procession wound its way through the hills and countryside till the terrain opened into an expansive valley. We turned left and climbed the hill to the tent that was erected over her grave. My uncle had just purchased these plots last week. They had decided over the years they really didn’t like the cemetery where they had purchased plots years ago but they just hadn’t gotten around to getting the new ones. Oh, my! The view was absolutely stunning. My aunt rests high on a hillside overlooking magnificent farmland. Black angus cattle dot the landscape in the verdant green fields. The hardwoods of the forests surrounding the valley were just beginning to hint of the glorious burst of color coming in the next two weeks.
\nAfterwards, we gathered at the fellowship hall at the church and had one of those wonderful meals country church women fix after a funeral. Hearty, comfort food and lots of love flowed around those tables and we left reminded we are family. Our bonds run as deep as the cool springs in these Appalachian hills. The blood of our shared ancestors keep us connected far beyond the pages of Facebook. We promised to keep in touch with those we seldom see. We promised to bring something special to this year’s Thanksgiving dinner.
\nMr. FixIt and I drove quietly through the hills, holding hands…our minds no doubt remembering we aren’t newlyweds at 25 and 26. We are newlyweds at 65 and 66. Our time together won’t be 62 years…but what time we DO have will be filled with fun and laughter and playfulness…just like my aunt and uncle’s marriage. I’m grateful for their example. I’m grateful for the opportunity to love like them. I’m just grateful for every day.
\n\n❤️
\n“Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth.”
\n2 Timothy 2:15 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2018-10-19T01:30:08-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/10/19/a-beautiful-day.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Grief","Hope","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","God","Wisdom","Courage","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/10/17/here-comes-the-bride.html", "title": "Here Comes the Bride", "content_html": "![\"Bride\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/e7004d7ea3.jpg\")
“One of my favorite moments…locking eyes with a fellow widow whom I mentored…knowing we BOTH have found our second-chance loves.”
It all went so fast. Here we are, just a few days after the wedding and I don’t remember all the details. That happens to every bride, I think. You throw so much into the planning, and so many last minute details happen the day of the wedding. Friends and family came at 2:00 to help me get ready. The ceremony was at 4:00. The girls were still messing with my hair when I asked the time. 3:20! I still hadn’t put on make up or dressed!
\nI don’t wear a lot of make up ordinarily…and when I do, it’s not much. Throwing that on was no big deal. I slipped on my boots and my new daughter and granddaughter helped me into my dress. In no time at all, I was ready. The music wasn’t. I told them I didn’t care…I’d walk out singing “Here Comes the Bride” if I had to…I was ready….REALLY ready!
\nThey helped me out to the tent…one carrying my train…the other hoping for the music to start. And, it did! Just as I got to the tent, I looked up and there was my sweet friend, Deneene. She was one of what looked like a whole sea of smiles and cell phones pointed at me. I looked at her with a knowing smile. You see, Deneene was referred to me when she was a relatively new widow herself. I was a couple of years ahead of her. I mentored her for the next couple of years. I was for her what I wished I’d had. Someone who had recently walked the path and could relate. Someone who could say this is perfectly normal. Someone to hold out a hand…not to pat it, but to offer a lift up. Then, Deneene met HER new love. And we walked this new territory together. She caught that knowing look in this picture. I think it is one of my favorites. Because I’m looking at another widow in love. I’m looking at my friend that helped me as much as I helped her. I’m looking at hope and joy and strength and perseverance and courage and reflecting it all back.
\nWe all are nothing more than the sum of our life experiences. I was ready to marry…every time I married. But I didn’t know then what I know now. Now I know what love is. I know how fragile life is. I know how to face the unimaginable and still live. I know how to live alone when it’s impossible to breathe. I know how rare it is to find someone so incredibly compatible. I know SO much more than I knew when I married Mr. Virgo. This man, this love, this marriage will reap the benefits of that knowledge and experience. I am so grateful to be where I am today. It is only through God’s grace and love that I found my way through the darkness. There may still be darkness ahead…but now there is hope. ❤️
\n“And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen.”
\n1 Peter 5:10-11 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-10-17T01:30:13-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/10/17/here-comes-the-bride.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Hope","Positive Energy","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Wisdom","Courage","Peaceful Moments","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!","Wedding"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/10/16/the-harder-side-of-love.html", "title": "The Harder Side of Love", "content_html": "
![\"Holding](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/6bfa10efb4.jpg\")
“This is what true love looks like.”
“Love bears all things [regardless of what comes], believes all things [looking for the best in each one], hopes all things [remaining steadfast during difficult times], endures all things [without weakening].” 1 CORINTHIANS 13:7 AMP\nI received a call Sunday that my sweet Aunt Viv crossed over to meet our Lord. Aunt Viv has always had a heart of gold. I remember her holding Daughter #2 on her lap and singing “Jesus Loves Me” to her when she was just a bitty thing.\n
Aunt Viv met my Uncle “Dudley” when they were in high school. She was a majorette. He was on the football team. They both had excellent role models growing up and their marriage was built to last. Like my grandparents, my aunt and uncle sit beside each other and hold hands. It’s precious to see.
\nAs Aunt Viv slid further and further into dementia, I encouraged my uncle to at least consider respite care so he could get some sleep. The last two years have been terribly difficult and he often went for days on very little sleep. They did finally get some help in the form of home health care, but he pooh-poohed the idea of placing his sweetheart somewhere other than the home they built together.
\nThe other night I was having my quiet meditation time. I read my devotionals and had a quiet conversation with God.
\n“Lord, I am about to be married again. There were times in my past marriages when I wasn’t very good to my husband. Can you help me be a better wife? Can you show me what that means?”
\nImmediately this picture popped into my head and I went through my phone to find it. Suddenly, I had this brilliant insight. Here I was, encouraging my uncle to send his beloved wife away when God was using him to show us all what true, Godly love looks like. He was showing us what “in sickness and in health” really means. I was humbled and ashamed. I immediately wanted to hug my sweet uncle and thank him for being the excellent role model he was and to apologize for ever speaking to him in such a way. What an amazing, strong man.
\nThis is not to say there is anything wrong with people who make the difficult choice to put their loved one in a nursing home. Everyone has their own beliefs and abilities and no one should ever be made to feel guilty for having made that decision. It takes a lot out of a person to do what my uncle has done. I hate that he is so worn down. But I love that he stuck by his bride and held her hand for sixty-two years…right to the end. I think there will be an extra star in his crown when he joins her one day. ❤️
\n", "date_published": "2018-10-16T01:30:19-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/10/16/the-harder-side-of-love.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Hope","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","God","Wisdom","Courage","Humbled","Aging","Presence","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/10/15/last-love.html", "title": "Last Love", "content_html": "![\"Cutting](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/cebaf2dc43.jpg\")
“My sweet love…my last love.”
I was talking to Mr. FixIt sometime over the last few weeks as we were planning the wedding. I told him this was my last wedding and I wanted it to be very special while maintaining a reasonable budget. He looked at me and said, “Don’t say that. You don’t know that this is your last. Something could happen to me and I wouldn’t want you to be alone.” Of course, after losing Mr. Virgo, I’m fully aware I could lose this wonderful man. It’s part of the hesitancy I felt in the beginning about getting married. I was afraid I’d jinx it.
\nI can tell you honestly, though…I have no intention of ever marrying again. This is my darling. My “silver love”. My last love. My forever love. This one. It’s not that I didn’t feel that with my other spouses. You never enter a marriage with the thought it won’t last. It never really came to the forefront of my mind that Mr. Virgo would actually up and die on me. Certainly I never had a clear picture of what that would look like.
\nI may not have been Mr. Virgo’s first love…but I was his last.
\nAnd, for me…Mr. FixIt is my last love. No matter what. How could I possibly top this? ❤️
\n“Where God’s love is, there is no fear, because God’s perfect love drives out fear. It is punishment that makes a person fear, so love is not made perfect in the person who fears.” 1 John 4:18 NCV
\n", "date_published": "2018-10-15T01:30:30-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/10/15/last-love.html", "tags": ["Family","Hope","Growth","Gratitude","Love","Courage","Aging","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/10/14/introducingmr-mrs-fixit.html", "title": "Introducing....Mr. \u0026 Mrs. FixIt", "content_html": "![\"Wedding](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/fb145fb757.jpg\")
“Introducing Mr. and Mrs. FixIt!”
Oh my, what a perfect day!!! I prayed it wouldn’t be too hot. It didn’t break 50 degrees even though the last two weeks have been in the high eighties. I prayed there wouldn’t be bugs. It was cool to the point of being downright brisk so…no bugs!!! I prayed the pulled pork would be moist. It was succulent and juicy. There was a small hiccup with the music but just when I decided to walk in unaccompanied, it kicked in. It didn’t rain…or snow. My hair cooperated. It truly was a perfect day!
\nWhen I asked Mr. FixIt what his favorite part of the wedding was, he said “When I saw you walking toward me.” I know this is true because when I got up to him he just looked and me and said, “Whoa!” Everyone laughed and I knew…this was as close to the perfect moment we may ever get when we are on this earth. And now, as I’m writing this, I realize how exhausted I am. I have a kitchen full of things needing cleaned. But, I have really great cake and pulled pork leftovers.
\nReally. Perfect. Day. ❤️
\n“Even more than all this, clothe yourself in love. Love is what holds you all together in perfect unity.”
\nColossians 3:14 NCV
\n", "date_published": "2018-10-14T01:30:41-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/10/14/introducingmr-mrs-fixit.html", "tags": ["West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Fear","Forgiveness","Courage","Peaceful Moments","Downsizing","Change","Wedding"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/10/09/i-have-a-dream.html", "title": "I Have a DREAM!", "content_html": "![\"Dream\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/2e382668a4.jpg\")
“I have a God dream!”
“But Joseph said to them, “Don’t be afraid. Am I in the place of God? You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. So then, don’t be afraid. I will provide for you and your children.” And he reassured them and spoke kindly to them.” Genesis 50:19-21 NIV\nA big dream. I’m not talking about an in-my-sleep dream. I’m talking about a GOD dream. I was thrilled this morning when my church shared the video of Pastor Jabin Chavez when he spoke at the Warehouse Church a couple of weeks ago. This is the video we saw in church Sunday. I told you yesterday I wanted to process it some more before I discuss it further. It touched me deeply and I really want to share it with you to see if you have the time. This is one of those messages that touches your soul. \n\n
We are inching ever closer to the end of a very long list of things we want to get done before the wedding. We went to the farm yesterday and mowed. I moved boxes and filled the bird feeders. We emptied the truck and trailer of hay and covered it with a tarp. Mowed, cleaned, picked up junk. I’m still working on cleaning all the parts of the smoker. (I love the product but the clean up is a bear.) I’ve come up with more quilts!
\nFIVE DAYS!!!!!
\n\n
\n", "date_published": "2018-10-09T01:30:24-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/10/09/i-have-a-dream.html", "tags": ["Faith","Overcoming Obstacles","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","God","Courage","Humbled","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/10/07/the-glory-of-love.html", "title": "The Glory of Love", "content_html": "
![\"Sunset\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/ee3b95ba0c.jpg\")
“Sunset over the Ponderosa.”
“Therefore, since we have these [great and wonderful] promises, beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, completing holiness [living a consecrated life--a life set apart for God’s purpose] in the fear of God.” 2 CORINTHIANS 7:1 AMP\nWhat beautiful sunsets we get to see here on the Ponderosa! I was just heading back in the house after dining al fresco with Mr. FixIt when I notice the light changing. I turned around and caught this. With the hill behind the house, we don’t catch the setting sun itself. However, if there are clouds, you can catch the reflection and oftentimes it is so stunning it takes you breath away.\n
I got a bit of a late start this morning and by the time I got out to clean the smoker, it was already 88 degrees. Sitting in the sun scrubbing furiously is all it took to knock me down. I had to go lay down in the air conditioning in TOW-Wanda till it cooled off outside and I cooled off inside. We drove to town for a couple of things and picked up hamburger for supper. Mr. FixIt tried to burn the brush pile again and it just will not burn. Too green, too wet…who knows? Not sure what we’re going to do now with two charred piles of blackened brush. Some will burn…just not much. I finished the inside of the smoker at dark and will clean the racks tomorrow while Mr. FixIt bowls.
\nMy good friend Diane hunted down some hay for me so we’re picking that up this afternoon after church. Now I’m on the hunt for some cutter quilts. A friend of mine told me where I might find some. Now it’s just a matter of having the time to go look. sigh
\nAs you can see in the picture, TOW-Wanda is tucked in there under the maple tree by the building. I’m staying out there till the wedding. I am determined to see this through. A commitment is a commitment.
\nI’m looking forward to church today. I need the break…and the soothing calm I get from worshiping with our church family. I am not at all nervous about the wedding or marrying Mr. FixIt. There is just so much we would like to get done beforehand. We were talking as we drove to town last night. I suggested we go get massages before the wedding. Don’t you think that would be a lovely idea?
\nSix days!!!!! ❤️
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-10-07T01:30:18-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/10/07/the-glory-of-love.html", "tags": ["Faith","Positive Energy","Fun","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Wedding"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/10/05/yeehawbargains-galore.html", "title": "Yeehaw...Bargains Galore!", "content_html": "
![\"Pulled](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/c6a3d967f6.jpg\")
“We’re keepin’ it country and serving smoked pulled pork sandwiches at our wedding reception.”
“It was Preparation Day, and the Sabbath was about to begin.”\nLuke 23:54 NIV\nI went yesterday to get my hair trimmed for the wedding. There is nothing worse than getting your bangs trimmed and finding they’re just that little bit too short for your liking, especially if there is something huge like a wedding soon. If you get them done the week before, at least you’ve become accustomed before the event. I’m happy to say, Michelle has only let me down once and that’s because I wasn’t paying attention. Now she makes sure we make eye contact when she asks if I want layers in my hair. \n
I picked up my boots from the shoe shop then went to Big Lots and bought a couple turquoise table clothes and a set of sheer curtains for decorating the tent. And I got some ribbons and things for a little garland idea I have. Then I met up with my small group for dinner instead of the usual bible study because the leader is out of town.
\nI’ve been very carefully watching the budget for the wedding. I want nice but reasonable. In keeping with that, I stopped at the store to buy forty pounds of pork butt. Pork butt and shoulder roasts are not expensive cuts of meat but with the proper preparation, they can knock your socks of while feeding a large crowd affordably. We decided to have smoked pulled pork sandwiches with coleslaw and potato chips. We’ll purchase some fried chicken for those who don’t like pork.
\nThere are as many pulled pork recipes as there are pigs, I think. I’ve read several and, as usually, I will draw a little from this recipe and a little from that recipe till I get what I want. I read only how many pounds of pork to buy in order to feed the number in your crowd…in my case, 44 pounds for around eighty people. I priced the difference between buying individual ingredients and making my own rub or buying ready made and ready made won. I bought several jars of different varieties and will combine them to make my own. The same with barbecue sauce. I have no idea how much barbecue sauce we’ll use so I bout twelve bottles. I may not need to ever buy it again! All told, I was pleasantly surprised when the total at the grocery story was $136! I expected to pay twice that!
\nToday, I’ll heat up the smoker as I prepare the meat. We’ll go over the details of that tomorrow.
\nThis is getting exciting, my friends!!! ❤️
\n", "date_published": "2018-10-05T01:30:53-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/10/05/yeehawbargains-galore.html", "tags": ["Fun","Gratitude","Love","Courage","Be Joyful!","Wedding"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/10/04/watching-and-waiting.html", "title": "Watching and Waiting", "content_html": "![\"Toad\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/ce03344d9b.jpg\")
“Mr. Toad is an opportunist.”
“And now a personal but most urgent matter; I write in the gentle but firm spirit of Christ. I hear that I’m being painted as cringing and wishy-washy when I’m with you, but harsh and demanding when at a safe distance writing letters. Please don’t force me to take a hard line when I’m present with you. Don’t think that I’ll hesitate a single minute to stand up to those who say I’m an unprincipled opportunist. Then they’ll have to eat their words.”\n\nI’m back at the Ponderosa tonight but I’m camping out in TOW-Wanda. Poor Mr. FixIt has been working from sunup to sundown trying to get this place wedding worthy and I just couldn’t let him do this all alone. I get here in time to cook him a nice supper. Pot roast, fried potatoes and gravy, and green beans. He said he hasn’t had a decent meal since I left for the farm and it just did my heart a world of good to cook for him. \n2 Corinthians 10:1-2 MSG
This big guy startled me when I was carrying things into the house. He sits out there, watching and waiting for nightfall when the bugs are attracted to the outdoor light. He’s pretty hefty so he must be well fed. He reminded me of opportunists….watching and waiting for the moment to jump.
\nI experienced an example of opportunism last night. Someone who hasn’t spoken to me in two years chimed in on a comment I made. Granted, I broke my cardinal rule and made a comment about a political post. I don’t do that. I don’t do that. Well, ok…just this once. It wasn’t an ugly comment. It was factual. But, this person is aware of my buttons. This brought me to a sincere self-examination.
\nMy first response was to say something I am quite sure I would regret but that only lasted a few seconds. Instead, I jumped at an opportunity of my own. Scroll on by…nothing to see here, folks. And say a prayer of thanksgiving that I dodged a bullet with this one. Thank you, Jesus…for more reasons than one.
\n❤️
\n", "date_published": "2018-10-04T01:30:44-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/10/04/watching-and-waiting.html", "tags": ["Faith","Overcoming Obstacles","Growth","Grace","Courage","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/10/02/im-a-risktaking-storyteller.html", "title": "I’m a Risk-taking Storyteller", "content_html": "![\"Inspired](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/b894b6b5cb.jpg\")
“I am willing to risk being wrong.”
“He who observes the wind will not sow, and he who regards the clouds will not reap. As you do not know the way the spirit comes to the bones in the womb of a woman with child, so you do not know the work of God who makes everything. In the morning sow your seed, and at evening withhold not your hand, for you do not know which will prosper, this or that, or whether both alike will be good. Light is sweet, and it is pleasant for the eyes to see the sun. So if a person lives many years, let him rejoice in them all; but let him remember that the days of darkness will be many. All that comes is vanity.” \n\nLet’s face it…I’m a risk-taker. I wasn’t always. I stood at the edge of many a precipice, leaning forward just enough to deem the venture far too scary to attempt. And, being a perfectionist compounded the issue with my “If I can’t overachieve, I will not try” personality. This has kept me from experiencing many incredible moments that, at the very least would have been entertaining, and more than likely would have changed my life. But, change wasn’t something I was interested in. \nEcclesiastes 11:4-8 ESV
I remember when my 20-year marriage was falling apart. I had been in therapy for depression stemming from a past filled with abuse, both to me and by me. Sexual abuse. Emotional abuse. Alcohol abuse. Prescription abuse. When my ex-husband was at the end of his rope, he had some therapy of his own to gain the tools he needed to take care of himself. He was changing right in front of me and it scared me more than anything else had. Because I knew where this was headed. My long-standing abandonment issues assured me I would be alone and destitute and living on the streets. Of course, that never happened, but I distinctly remember him saying something to me and asking him just how much he was going to change because I didn’t like it. I can look back on that moment now and realize he was actually saving my life, but at the time, I was horrified.
\nWhen I found myself dangling by the end of my own rope, I was forced to change or die. I’d love to say it was an easy choice and I moved right on by the huge crevasse that had opened in my life, but that was not the case. I overdosed and came as close to death as I care to go at this point in my life. And that was, as they say, the bottom of the barrel.
\nI wasn’t a Christian yet, but I saw a tunnel before me of the most beautiful shade of cobalt blue surrounded with rays of gold…like a giant eclipse of the sun. While I was in this tunnel, my dead grandma came to me and stood by my side. She sternly told me, “Get back down there, young lady! You have work to do!” It took me five years and the death of my mother and the prayers of some really great people to find Jesus and my life changed in an instant. Not that my circumstances were ideal and I didn’t still struggle. I did. But I felt every cell in my body come alive and become new. It was…THE change. The really BIG change.
\nMy fear level plummeted. I became a risk taker. After two failed marriages, Mr. Virgo came into my life and I plunged off the cliff of a third marriage holding hands with a wonderful man. We enjoyed seven years of this bliss before he died suddenly as we were planning our golden years. Grief chiseled me into who I am today. Stronger, to be sure. Softer, more empathetic. Grief became my story…and I’m an avid storyteller.
\nNow, here I am…about to jump off the cliff again. My fourth marriage. I swear, it’s my LAST marriage. Daughter #1 has taken to calling me “Liz”. Someone asked me the other day if I was scared. My answer was, “Heck no! I’m marrying my very best friend whom I’ve known for fifty years. Bring it on!” I realized a couple of days later what she meant….
\nWas I scared of losing Mr. FixIt like I lost Mr. Virgo?
\nI pondered. This is why no one likes to talk about death and grief. It hits too darned close to home. Am I worried that Mr. FixIt will drop dead in front of me? I’d be lying if I said no. Am I willing to risk going through loss and grief again so that I can experience the love of another wonderful man? Absolutely! And you know why I say that? Because, I’m a risk-taker now. Ever since I laid everything on the line for Jesus, I’ve been firmly in the camp of “I’m willing to risk being wrong.” It took me 14 months of being engaged to Mr. FixIt to prepare for this marriage. It took standing up and adding the caveat of living separately for the month before the wedding as a sacrifice and atonement for living together before we were married. And it took the assurance of a loving God that He will always and forever have my back in all things I do. I will not be afraid.
\nThey say God will catch you and teach to you fly. I am sure there will be many flying lessons ahead, but it’s a risk I’m willing to take and a story I’m willing to tell. ❤️
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-10-02T01:30:31-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/10/02/im-a-risktaking-storyteller.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Choices","Starting Over","Wedding"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/10/01/the-devolution-of-man.html", "title": "The Devolution of Man", "content_html": "
![\"Fog\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/0ea5d1b829.jpg\")
“Foggy morning at the farm.”
I’m a scientist at heart. I’ve worked in medicine since I was 17 years old. I was married to a doctor for 21 years. I am a Christian. And the question of creation versus evolution is hard for me to answer completely. As a scientist, I have seen empirical evidence of evolution. It’s difficult for me to argue with DNA and carbon dating and fossils. As a Christian, I believe that God spoke the world into existence and breathed life into all things. When we read the Bible, we are interpreting it through our current base of experiences and knowledge. We read Genesis 1:26 “Let us make man in our image.” Was God talking literally? As in, the way we look today? Humans look different than they did even a thousand years ago. We are taller and certainly bigger than our distant ancestors. So, was He speaking metaphorically? Spiritually? Was He talking about attributes we are familiar with in this day and age? Was there a Big Bang? What is time? Is it measured precisely as it was in the beginning? Was a day exactly 24 hours and a year exactly 365 days? I don’t know the answer to all of these questions because, while I am continuing to learn and grow in my faith, I have not seen God personally. I experience God daily. That is different. I will leave these questions to those who are far better educated than I. Someday, we will know.
\nMy point today is not the “e”volution of man, but the “d”evolution. Devolution is defined as “perversion; deterioration of morality.” I think we can all agree this is what we are seeing on the daily in the news and on all forms of social media. It doesn’t matter which side of the aisle you sit on. It doesn’t matter what your faith, race, sexual identity, nationality, level of education, IQ, or genetic makeup is…there’s something decidedly crazy going on in the world. I’m not sure our country has seen this level of divisiveness since the ‘50s or ‘60s.
\nHere’s just one small example that I ran across the other day. There is a meme going around on FB that shows President Clinton with a blonde woman with a caption “Bill Clinton and Dr. Ford” with “WELL, WELL, WELL” written across it. Intimating what, exactly? Collusion? A mass conspiracy in the ‘90s to supplant a Supreme Court nominee sometime in the year 2018? I don’t know. The woman in the photo is actually Senator Kirsten Gillibrand, a Democrat and a Senator from New York. Ok…memes happen all the time. Right, Left, true, false…whatever. While these things are irresponsible and show a lack of even a basic level of curiosity as to the veracity of the information being openly disseminated, my biggest problem is the responses they generate.
\nPeople I know…or, thought I knew. People who went to school with me. People who claim to be Christians. People who fight for the proper treatment of animals but absolutely, openly, viciously trash human beings who believe differently than they do. In the last couple of years, it seems we (and by “we”, I mean the collective “we”) have lost our ability to govern our tongues. The very people who are furious that God has been taken out of the classroom are lashing out with a vengeance at…I don’t know…everybody. I can let it make me crazy or depressed or angry. Or, I can choose to take the high road. I can check my own tongue and moral compass. Let me just drop a few lines from life’s instruction manual…
\nWhoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble. Proverbs 21:23
\nLet no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. Ephesians 4:29
\nA soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1
\nThere is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. Proverbs 12:18
\nSet a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips! Psalm 141:3
\nHere’s a good one…If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless. James 1:26
\nKeep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking deceit. Psalm 34:13
\nOh, I love this one…Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent. Proverbs 17:28
\nDeath and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits. 1 Peter 3:10
\nA gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit. Proverbs 15:4
\nHas your spirit felt broken by the words of others? I know the easiest answer of all would be to get off social media altogether, but like it or not, this is how many of us keep in touch with friends and family. Oh, you can hide the posts. You can scroll right on past and not engage. But that doesn’t solve the problem. That doesn’t improve matters. That doesn’t swing our moral compass back toward true north.
\nIt’s a “sticky wicket”, as they say in England. It’s not an easy thing to do. We aren’t the moral police meaning we can’t force others to bend at our will, as they are perhaps trying to bend ours. But what we CAN do is be a light in the world. We can live by example. We cannot change others, but we can show a different way to be. And remember, the instruction manual also says this…
\nBrothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Galatians 6:1
\nAs for a person who stirs up division, after warning him once and then twice, have nothing more to do with him, knowing such a person is warped and sinful; he is self-condemned. Titus 3:10-11
\nIf you’re looking for me, I’ll be cleaning up my friends list now. ❤️
\n", "date_published": "2018-10-01T01:30:05-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/10/01/the-devolution-of-man.html", "tags": ["Faith","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Positive Energy","Grace","God","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Courage","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/09/27/not-today-devil.html", "title": "Not Today, Devil!", "content_html": "![\"Sunset\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/5ff68dfe2a.jpg\")
“I think Mr. Virgo was smiling at me today!”
“And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, \"This is the way, walk in it,\" when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left.” Isaiah 30:21 ESV\nFor those of you who have been reading this blog from the beginning, you will remember my reticence to mention God in my posts. I was very, very busy trying to make sure I didn’t offend anyone. And, of course, that is still very much my focus. But as time has passed, I have let God into my writing more and more. I always SAID I was a faith-based writer, but I really wasn’t walking the talk. That all changed one day when I got a text from God in church. That was a great story. Anyway, I’m all about Jesus anymore and I just let out what needs to come out and I don’t worry so much about it anymore.\n
Our Pastor frequently talks about what happens when you are truly a Christ follower. What happens when you make God the center of your life. He always says, “If you put God at the center of your life…are truly following him with all your heart…watch out! Because there’s nothing the enemy hates more than someone putting God before anything else. He attacks and causes all kinds of destruction and whispers lies 24/7 trying to convince you if God REALLY loved you…these bad things wouldn’t be happening. And, of course, it isn’t true. Nothing the enemy says is true.
\nMr. FixIt’s truck had a recall and when they started tearing it apart, they found all kinds of other things wrong. He’s going up today to have a look at it with the mechanics and make a decision. Then, after I helped Mr. FixIt with some things around The Ponderosa yesterday, I drove to the farm. By the time I got there, my wheels were squealing really loud. I had hit a pot hole on this wretched road just before, so I have no idea what’s going on.
\nI know exactly what is happening here. I was led by God to do the right thing and moved back to the farm till after the wedding. I can feel it to my bones that it’s the right thing to do. And then…the enemy strikes! First, Mr. FixIt’s truck then mine. In the week after we put God first. It is so clear. However, I’ll tell you like my friend, DaShara says…”Not today, Devil…I am a Child of God!”
\nI know we’re on the right path. And the enemy can throw roadblocks up every step of the way, but we will persevere. We will not be deterred by the likes of him! He who lives within me is greater than he who lives in the world. Everything will work out with an even greater outcome than previously imagined. Amen! ❤️
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-09-27T01:30:57-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/09/27/not-today-devil.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","West Virginia","The Farm","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Change","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/09/25/a-change-of-status.html", "title": "A Change of Status", "content_html": "
![\"Engagement](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/a0bcb8dcaa.jpg\")
“The change from “widow” to “engaged” deserves a moment of reflection.”
““Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” Matthew 7:7 NIV\nI did something monumental yesterday. I changed my relationship status on Facebook from “widow” to “engaged”. Ok, in the grand scheme of things, that’s not really monumental...but it IS, you know?\n
Some people change their relationship status like they change their shoes. I remember that first attempt at “dating” after Mr. Virgo died. It was (I’m embarrassed to say) only five months after he died. I know, I know. Plenty of my friends and my family were like…”WTH are you DOING???” What I was doing was putting a tourniquet on my hemorrhaging heart. I went so far as to change my relationship status and knew immediately that was a HUGE error in judgment. Let’s face it…when you are grieving, good judgment goes out the window for quite some time.
\nIt wasn’t long till the status went back to “widow” and there it has stayed for the last five years. When I tell my story, I start out with “My husband and I had decided life was too short to wait for retirement to have some fun…” Always the same. I’ve had people misunderstand my story for “wallowing in my grief”. That isn’t it at all…at least not after a couple of years. I tell my story so that others may not feel so alone in their grief. So that others may learn that when grief strikes, you don’t have to crawl into a ball and stay there forever. I tell my story to give people hope that there is life in spite of grief.
\nIt’s not like I haven’t thought about changing my status before now. After all, Mr. FixIt and I have been engaged for over a year. And, it has nothing to do with my feelings for him. I love him dearly and want to be with him the rest of my life. It’s just five little letters, but widow is what I’ve related to for five-and-a-half years. It does not define me anymore, but it will always be a part of who I am. I was fiddling around on Facebook yesterday and just had this flash.
\n“You’re getting married in nineteen days, girlfriend. It’s time.” Without giving it a second thought, I went from “widow” to “engaged”. Then I sat and looked at it. Wow. This is huge. Yet, not. Yet, it is. I’m finally ready to put “widow” in second place. And now, when I tell my Mr. Virgo story, it will start out with “My late-husband and I decided…”
\nI’m making a concerted shift in consciousness. My focus will be more forward-thinking. My posts will have lots of new stories and color and joy and adventure. It feels like I’m leaving something behind, though. That’s one reason I’ve been staying over at the farm alone a lot lately. I need some alone time to process that. To package it up and set it on a shelf. I can still reach it. I can still take it out and look at it. I’m just not going to sit with it in my lap so much. This is all about healing and moving forward and letting go. The shift from one status to the other deserves a moment of honor and reflection. It’s good. It’s all so very good. ❤️
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-09-25T01:30:40-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/09/25/a-change-of-status.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Growth","Gratitude","Love","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Change","Starting Over","Wedding"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/09/24/the-feeling-of-prayers.html", "title": "The Feeling of Prayers", "content_html": "
![\"Feathered](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/84a08fe035.jpg\")
“When someone prays for me, it’s like a thousand feathered angel wings wrapping around me.”
“Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.” Colossians 4:2 NIV\nI will never forget when my friend Bill told me I was on his daily prayer list ever since the overdose at the end of my second marriage. I was...stunned. Here he was, a busy Emergency Room physician and a missionary in a country and location they could not reveal for fear of being killed. And I was on his daily prayer list? \n
When I finally became a Christian in 2005, the first people I told were my neighbors, Bob and Ellie. I asked them over, sat them on the couch, and told them I had accepted Christ as my personal Savior. They both immediately burst into tears and said, “Oh, we both have been praying so hard for you!”
\nWhen I revealed on Saturday that Mr. FixIt and I were getting married and shared the reason why, several of you told me you had been praying for me to hear God’s whispers and do what was right.
\nThis was astonishing to me. I have prayed for countless people and circumstances, but I don’t think about others praying FOR me. Maybe my safety and comfort and good circumstances actually came because of the prayers of others. My grandma comes to mind. I can guarantee she prayed for me. Many times.
\nHindsight tells me the gradual discomfort I felt when I was someplace on my journey I shouldn’t have been was at least partially due to the prayers of others trying to lead me back home. I once asked you here to pray for me and I felt a supernatural comfort…like a thousand feathered angel wings wrapped all around me. This is what the prayer of another feels like if you can open yourself to it. It’s physical. It’s supernatural. And it’s very, very real.
\nPraying for the happiness of my ex-husband and his soon-to-be wife allowed forgiveness which gave me peace. Praying for my children and grandchildren gives me hope for their safety and well-being. Praying for Mr. FixIt brings me reassurance of his strength and leadership for our family as we prepare to marry. Prayer can be felt by those you pray for. They may not have a clue it’s your prayers they are feeling, but trust me…they feel it in one way or another. So, keep praying. If there is someone who is lost, pray them home. If there is someone who is discouraged, pray for bravery. If there is someone who is broken, pray for peace. Prayer never hurt anyone and even though you may never see the results, it makes a difference. Because God listens. He hears. He cares. He loves us more than anything you could possibly imagine.
\nTake this into your week and be encouraged. Prayer changes things…even if it’s just inside of you. ❤️
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-09-24T01:30:49-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/09/24/the-feeling-of-prayers.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Courage","Monday Morning Motivation"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/09/22/a-change-is-gonna-come.html", "title": "A Change is Gonna Come...", "content_html": "
![\"Changing](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/a54ab9d557.jpg\")
“A change is coming. Can you feel it?”
“Many claim to have unfailing love, but a faithful person who can find? The righteous lead blameless lives; blessed are their children after them.” Proverbs 20:6-7 NIV\nYesterday, I told you there were some big decisions I’ve been working on the last few months. Today, I want to talk with you about one of them. The most important one. This is a REALLY long post...but hang in there with me. You won’t be sorry.\n
Not long after Mr. FixIt and I became a serious item, God started working on me. For a long time, whenever I walk into church, I say a little prayer. I always say, “Lord, if there is a personal message you have for me today, please anoint the Pastor’s words so he can deliver it to me.” Countless times, God answers my plea and the Pastor will literally come to the front of the stage, stand right in front of me, look me straight in the eye, and say something that is unmistakably personal. Something exactly about what I’ve been working on, or worrying over. I would say it’s uncanny, but what it really is…is supernatural. Our God is a supernatural God. He listens, and He communicates…through the Holy Spirit. Through a total stranger. Through your Guardian Angel. If He has a message, and you ask Him to tell you loud and clear, He doesn’t need a megaphone. He’ll beat you over the head with it if it’s something you truly need.
\nFrom the time Mr. FixIt and I got serious, I’ve been getting messages from God that we shouldn’t be living together without being married. I have to be honest…this has never bothered me before. I’m a product of the ‘60s and I never had a problem living with someone before we got married. But this time is different. It’s been wearing on me. And I think I’ve figured out why.
\nThe biggest reason is my faith has grown exponentially since Mr. Virgo died. I had to make God the center of my life in order to survive that loss. In order to not feel so alone. And God has drawn me ever so close to Him. He has guarded me and protected me. He has led me through some terribly difficult times. He has been my rock…my anchor. In the past, that has not been the case. My relationship with my husband was my focus. My relationship with God suffered and therefore I suffered. And I wasn’t even aware of it.
\nMr. FixIt and I keep God at the center of our relationship. Or…so I would love for everyone to believe. See, here’s the thing. You’re either all in with God. Or, you’re not. That’s why I’ve been feeling off about cohabitation. Now, there is the issue of widow’s benefits. I had been told when I first went to Social Security after Mr. Virgo died, that if I remarried I would lose my widow’s benefits. I’ve kept that information in my mind all this time without questioning. Until last weekend.
\nMr. FixIt and I have spent a great deal of time apart in the last month between being sick and in the hospital, camping with the Girl Campers, and going to Country Living Fair. The reason I took my camper up with me and camped alone instead of bunking with my gal pals was…I needed some alone time with God. These wonderful women I was with are two of my strongest Christian friends. They mentor me. They are sounding boards for me when I have questions. They are my fellow prayer warriors when I need them. I confessed how I was feeling and they talked with me about it.
\nWhile camping alone, I prayed deeply. I told God my worries. I told him I totally trust in Him and that I know without question that He will provide for me. But I’ve been so worried about losing my widow’s benefits because my own Social Security is paltry. I was a stay-at-home mom, so I didn’t make a lot of money in my lifetime. Mr. Virgo, however, worked in 5-Star resorts and restaurants all his career. He died before touching his Social Security. My benefits through him are far more than my own. Not enough to live in the lap of luxury, mind you. But enough to live on if I were extremely frugal. I asked God to give me a sign that I wouldn’t lose my benefits if I remarried.
\nThen, I listened. “Google. What happens to widow’s benefits if you remarry?” Simple enough, right? I mean, why didn’t I think to Google that a long time ago? Because….it wasn’t the right time. Mr. FixIt asked me to marry him just a month after we started dating. It was too soon. We needed to get to know each other more. We needed to grow together in our faith. And, I needed more time to work through my grief. This was God’s perfect timing. I Googled the question and page after page of answers came back. “If you remarry after the age of 60, you will NOT lose your widow’s benefits.” Wow! The reason it stuck in my head so long ago was, I was only 59 when Mr. Virgo died. They told me if I remarried, I would lose my benefits. But that was THEN. Grief brain didn’t allow the rest of it to soak in.
\nI sat back…stunned by this revelation. I looked up and said, “Thank you, God. That’s all I needed to know!” Then I texted Mr. FixIt.
\n“I miss you. Let’s get married.”
\nWithout missing a beat, he wrote back. “OK! We’ll set a date when you get home! What prompted this?”
\n“God.” I said.
\nSo, we set a date! Yes, my lovely Ranchers…we’re getting MARRIED!!!
\nOhhhhh….Emmmmmm…..Geeeeeeeee!!!
\nI’m all in. I can’t, in good conscience, profess my faith AND live in a way that I feel, for me, is counter to that. So I’m following my conscience and God’s clear instructions to marry this very wonderful man that He sent me. We chose October 13th as our wedding day. When I was looking through the calendar, the 13th jumped out at me. I seemed to remember it being a family anniversary. I looked up on my family tree and indeed…it was my Grandma and PopPop’s anniversary! Those two in whose bedroom I am currently propped up, writing to you! PopPop died on my mom’s birthday…August 26th. Just seven weeks before their 50th Wedding Anniversary. I know how terribly sad I was when Mr. Virgo died just three weeks shy of our 6th anniversary. I can’t imagine what my grandma went through losing her forever sweetheart so close to such a monumental event. I am thrilled we can celebrate our wedding on their special day!
\nSo, there it is, my friends. A change is gonna come. Will I still be a widow? Yes, I will always and forever be a widow. AND, I will be a wife again. Never in my wildest dreams would I have anticipated something so precious happening again. I know Mr. Virgo had a hand in this. He and God stopped at the 9th or 10th hole one day when they were playing a round of golf.
\n“Hey, look down there at that beautiful woman. Do you think we can send her someone to love who will love her back with the white-hot heat of the sun?”
\nAnd God said…”Ha! Watch this!” ❤️
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-09-22T01:30:36-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/09/22/a-change-is-gonna-come.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/09/21/a-fork-in-the-road.html", "title": "A Fork in the Road", "content_html": "
![\"Fork](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/c63a9e7fef.jpg\")
“Making decisions at the fork in the road.”
“If anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen. Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you.” 1 Peter 4:11-12 NIV\nI’ve had a couple of major decisions weighing on my heart the last few months. Good things...but just figuring out which way to go is sometimes overwhelming. When I am faced with just such a dilemma and I grasp it with both hands, I try to wrestle it into the box I want to put it in. This is a goal. Something you can plan for, see, hold onto, and finish all on your own. And...quite often it leads to frustration when you can’t make it fit. When it doesn’t work out the way you want it to.\n
There’s another way to do this that relieves you of the pressure you put on yourself. You give it to God. I have been reminded of this multiple times in the last week when wonderful women of great faith were sent to me. I listened to their wise counsel. I held hands and prayed with them. And I spent the weekend camping in TOW-Wanda while I was in Columbus at the Country Living Fair. When I stopped trying to hold on so tight and bend these situations to MY will and let God work it out to HIS will, the answers became perfectly clear. The decisions ultimately were simple and life changing. This is a dream…something that comes from God. We discussed this at my small group from church last night and it made so much sense.
\nI love how this works. I wish I would remember to give it over to God BEFORE I beat my head against a brick wall for months. Maybe one of these days that stubborn “I can do it myself” attitude with magically melt away. And, maybe someday pigs really WILL fly. For now, I’ll take the solace where I can get it and be grateful for God’s grace and the serenity it can provide.
\n“...When a believing person prays, great things happen.” James 5:16 NCV\n❤️\n
\n", "date_published": "2018-09-21T01:30:19-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/09/21/a-fork-in-the-road.html", "tags": ["Faith","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","God","Courage","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/09/12/out-of-the-mouths-of.html", "title": "Out of the Mouths of Babes", "content_html": "
![\"Human](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/56b5c21646.jpg\")
“Craving human touch after loss is one of the most painful aspects of grief.”
“I’m so grateful to Christ Jesus for making me adequate to do this work. He went out on a limb, you know, in trusting me with this ministry. The only credentials I brought to it were invective and witch hunts and arrogance. But I was treated mercifully because I didn’t know what I was doing—didn’t know Who I was doing it against! Grace mixed with faith and love poured over me and into me. And all because of Jesus.” 1 Timothy 1:12-14 MSG\nMy younger granddaughter is my mini-me. Creative, funny, and incredibly intuitive, she just seems to “get me”. And she knows when to contact me and say just the right thing. Monday was Mr. Virgo’s birthday, and while the day itself did not carry the painful weight it has in the past, I still could not ignore the feelings in my heart as I remembered such a wonderful man and the passage of time without him. Then, last night... “Little” contacted me via text. \n
“What was Papa’s last name?” she asked.
\n“McKinney, sweetheart. Same as mine.”
\n“He was a ghost on a video.”
\n“What? What video???”
\n“A video I saw last week. I just remembered to tell you. A medium was talking and a man with Papa’s name spoke out and said he was there. He said he died of a heart attack. He said the woman reminded him of his wife because she was creative and funny. I know it was him and I just wanted to tell you…he’s not really gone.”
\nWow.
\nShe was only five when her Papa died. Yet she was the one who gave me the most comfort. She held my heart in a special way that only she and I could understand. She kept a sacred space between us where her Papa and my Mr. Virgo could live forever and never be forgotten. She is so special. She had no way of remembering that Monday had been his birthday. Yet, she knew to reach out.
\nThinking back over the years since he died, I remember how hard it was to miss his physical presence. I missed his hugs the very most. The way he would fold me into his chest, the top of my head tucked just under his chin. The smell of leather and tobacco and wood coming from his sweater. The sudden absence of that left a gaping hole in my life. I have always been a hugger. One of the reasons my second marriage fell apart was because Hubby #2 wasn’t. He hadn’t been raised that way. But Mr. Virgo gave me all the hugs I wanted.
\nI went on the search for physical contact after Mr. Virgo died. I tried dating a couple of guys and that was a catastrophe. Way too soon, way wrong people. I got hugs at church. I cruised the downtown shops and the mall in my little town looking for people I knew who would hold me for that extra long hug that makes casual acquaintances uncomfortable. I have a brother/friend who was wonderful…if I texted him at 3:00am, he would answer right away with “Where are you?” “In the camper,” I replied. “Be right there.” He would saunter over from his house a few blocks away, climb in the camper with me, and we would snuggle up in the corner under a blanket and I would show him pictures on my iPad while he wrapped his arms around me tight. No expectations. Nothing sexual. Just unconditional brotherly love and compassion. I will never forget his kindness. I got a prescription from my doctor for weekly massages to keep myself anchored. I visited my children and my brother as often as I could. I traveled and stayed with gentle friends who held my heart. And, eventually, I could stand up on my own again. I didn’t NEED quite so much. I didn’t ACHE quite so hard.
\nI was at a place of acceptance when I came back to West Virginia to live on the farm two years ago. I was at peace with my life and felt more centered than I probably ever had. That’s not to say I didn’t want someone in my life…I did. I’m a people person and I do better with a tribe. But I was getting ok with not having someone around all the time. Then…along came Mr. FixIt. And let me tell you…he is a hugger extraordinaire. When we first started dating, we would just sit and hug each other for hours. We’d talk and tell stories and just BE together. One day, he whispered…”This is medicine for the soul.” He was right, it was. It still is.
\nI know I’m blessed. I know what a gift this is. Late life love is precious. I just read a tweet from the author, Anne Lamott. She was watching the US Open with her love a couple of days ago when he said, “Can I ask you a question?” “Oh, sure,” she said, thinking it was something about the carport they were building. “Will you marry me?” She’s 64. He’s 63. “God is SUCH a show-off!” she said. I know not everyone wants another love after loss. I know some want it and it doesn’t come. I struggle sometimes sharing my joy while balancing sensitivity for others’ pain. My point is to always strive for hope. Always search for joy. No matter what that looks like for you…alone, together, screaming from the mountain tops, or cloistered in the stacks of a really great library. Whatever your bliss…my wish for you is that you find it. In spades! ❤️
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-09-12T01:30:39-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/09/12/out-of-the-mouths-of.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/09/04/how-to-breathe.html", "title": "How To Breathe", "content_html": "
![\"Breathe\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/5510a918f5.jpg\")
“Breathing good air after breathing through a wet sponge is such an incredible feeling of health!”
““Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” Matthew 11:28-29 NIV\nWhen I was a teenager, one of my biggest joys was to make my mom laugh. Mom had a difficult life. She had a son with a developmental disability and a husband who drank too much and was not around. And then...she had me. I wasn’t a bad kid, mind you. But I am convinced I had ADHD and was quite the handful...always into something and using my smart mouth to my disadvantage at every turn. So, when I got old enough to discover I could make her laugh, I did so at every opportunity.\n
Somewhere along the way, I realized when she laughed hard, she would go into a coughing fit. It’s normal to have some coughing after laughing hard as the nerves that control laughter are the same as those that control coughing. As a clueless teenage, that only added to the mirth, but as an adult, I now realize she had a “reactive airway”…a non-medical term that is kind of a placeholder for asthma that hasn’t been diagnosed.
\nI have the same thing. It usually doesn’t give me any trouble unless I exercise in the cold, or I get a particularly bad cold and the virus kicks my airway into hyperdrive. I tighten up and cant breathe. I cough till I hear the blood rushing through my ears. Usually, the cough is unproductive, meaning I can’t get anything to come up. There is a whole regimen to follow when this happens, but it has been so long since it’s happened, I forgot what it was. Beside the steroids, which I truly do not like, there are inhalers to use…one that is a rescue inhaler that immediately starts to open up an airway that is locked down in spasms, and the other that carries a steroid that treats the lining of the bronchial tubes and eases the inflammation.
\nThe very best thing to use is Mucinex. I don’t know why I didn’t even think to try that last week. I’ve been taking antihistamines all summer for allergies so my lungs were sort of like wet cement. When I got so sick Friday night, it was like trying to breathe through a wet sponge. Once I got the steroids and breathing treatments and some antibiotics in my, I could breathe again. Then the Mucinex finally kicked in and…well, without getting into gory details, let’s just said there was a lot of clearing out the pipes in my my lungs and I can now breathe much freer.
\nYou do not know how bad you have felt until you feel better. I was telling Mr. FixIt yesterday that this is the first time all summer that I have actually felt like I want to get up and go do something fun. I battled gastritis and other stomach issues since last spring that really put me down. Anything I ate upset my stomach and I constantly had a gnawing pain in the upper area of my abdomen. The happy little side effect of all those medicines they gave me in the hospital seems to be my stomach issues have cleared up. No more pain. No more nausea. And, I ate a cheeseburger for dinner last night and it didn’t kill me!
\nI share an awful lot of personal stuff here, I know. But I figure if others have some of the same grief symptoms I have and I can help with that, maybe there’s someone out there suffering with the same sort of stomach issues that can see a doctor and get some help. I’m not a doctor and I can’t recommend treatments, but I can share what happened to me and hope it helps others. As Ram Dass says…”We are all just walking each other home.” ❤️
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-09-04T01:30:50-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/09/04/how-to-breathe.html", "tags": ["Health","Overcoming Obstacles","Gratitude","Courage","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/09/02/days.html", "title": "2,000 Days", "content_html": "
![\"Meme\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/a32a76f6bc.jpg\")
“2,000 Days”
“(For we are but of yesterday, and know nothing, because our days upon earth are a shadow:) Job 8:9 KJV\nFor a long time after losing Mr. Virgo, I marked the timeline of my grief by significant dates. The first anniversary without him came just three weeks after he died. That was a tough one. First Halloween marked when we met. The first time I celebrated his birthday alone was terribly sad. First Thanksgiving, first Christmas...the list went on and on and I was convinced when the first “angelversary” of his death came around, I could turn a corner on this grief thing. Needless to say, that didn’t happen.\n
The seconds were worse for me than the firsts. Because, the first year I was in a fog. The second year I was awake and he was still gone. It was deeply painful. It was desperately lonely. I was exceedingly angry. Each day led me forward, ever so slowly, toward…what? Healing? Peace? Acceptance? It wasn’t easy. Somewhere along the line, 1,000 days passed and I wrote about my experiences along the way. Still marking the calendar of grief.
\nNow it’s been 2,000 days. Unbelievable. It seems like forever ago. It seems like yesterday. It sometimes even seems like he was a dream and I never really had him. I think that’s fairly normal, from what I have heard from you all over the years. I can’t remember his voice anymore. I struggle to picture his hands. He’s like a really good movie that I loved and watched over and over till I memorized all the words…then lost the disk. I’ll never see that particular movie again, but I remember how much I enjoyed it.
\nI still get waves of grief. They don’t hit nearly as hard as they used to, and they don’t last nearly as long, thank God. I notice them most when I am tired or not feeling well. I’ve learned so much about myself since he died. I’ve become much stronger. My world is brighter now that I’ve passed through all those days. I have new love. But I will never lose my old love. I have them both. I am a widow and a partner. I grieve and I rejoice.
\nI have greater compassion now. For others. For myself. I know not everyone has a new love. Not everyone wants it. Women are perfectly capable of being widowed and still lead a fulfilling life. One does not need a partner to be rich in love. Women can be remarkably resilient and strong all on their own.
\nSo, it’s been 2,000 days. Remarkable…yet another ordinary day. The seas are much calmer this far from the shore. ❤️
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-09-02T01:30:41-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/09/02/days.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Presence","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/09/01/what-do-you-do-with.html", "title": "What Do You Do With HIS Stuff?", "content_html": "
![\"Gentleman](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/457e23718f.jpg\")
“Mr. Virgo dressed for the Ritz Carlton.”
“The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:17-18 NIV\nWe had a good discussion here yesterday about downsizing...a topic near and dear to my heart and one not everyone is interested in. I get that. We like our stuff...it brings back memories, it is proof of what we worked for. But, what do we do with HIS stuff? If you’ve watch any rom/com, you’ll see women throwing the guys stuff out the upstairs window and burning it on the lawn if infidelity or divorce are involved. While I don’t necessarily recommend that, I can see how it would be cathartic. Usually the man takes care of his own stuff in a breakup. That can’t happen when death is involved.\n
When I was newly widowed, I walked in a daze for weeks. I couldn’t imagine going through Mr. Virgo’s stuff and getting rid of anything. I would often stand in his closet, wrap myself in his clothes that smelled of leather and tobacco and Halston and woods. I grieved to my very core, holding onto the last things he touched. I did this for a few weeks. Then I took off in my little camper for three months.
\nWhen I returned, I had screamed and cried out a lot of my initial grief up on the mountaintops. I realized standing in the closet wrapped in his clothes wasn’t healthy for me. My daughter was a teacher at a poor, inner-city school that had a program for young men. They provided a suit and interview training so they would have a better chance at landing good jobs. When I heard about this, something inside me smiled. I knew Mr. Virgo would love to have his suits used for such a purpose. This gave me the impetus to go through his closet. I saved a couple of sweaters, my favorite ties, and his leather bomber jacket. The rest I bagged up.
\nWhen I woke up the next day, I reached for my phone and saw message after message on my feed…Happy Father’s Day! I sat up and looked around. All of his clothes were in bags on the floor surrounding the bed. And I had no one to hug for Father’s Day. I always had a bag packed to impromptu camping trips so I went out and hooked up TOW-Wanda and headed for the hills for a few days.
\nWhen I got home, I carried the bags out to the car and carted them around for a couple of weeks just to make sure I was really ready to let go. Once I was convinced, I delivered them to my daughter. I would have loved to have heard the stories of successful job interviews!
\nOnce the closet was cleaned out, it wasn’t a big stretch to go through his dresser and get rid of his underwear and socks. I never felt like I was invading his privacy until I got to the top drawer of the highboy and his briefcase. That bothered me. I felt like I was snooping. I knew I had to go through them because there were papers in there that I might need. I did find some things I wasn’t expecting. There were a couple of charge accounts I didn’t know about. And there was an envelope with his and another woman’s name on it addressed to the house he lived in before he moved to Aspen. At first, I was upset by this. I thought I knew everything about him. Then I realized that he didn’t know everything about me either. We were in our mid-50’s when we met. A lot of water had gone under the bridge before we ever set eyes on each other. The new information didn’t change a thing about our relationship. It was still wonderful. So, I let it go.
\nMy way of cleaning out his closet may not be your way. And that is perfectly fine. We all walk down this path in our own way, in our own time. If it’s ten weeks or ten months or ten years, you do what you need to do. I will lay this down here though, and you can pick it up or not. There is a wonderful organization called Career Gear. You can donate suits and business casual clothes to them and they provide training, professional clothing, and mentorship to men in need so they can get good jobs and provide for their families. I saw a story about them, I believe on Sunday Morning. This would be a good place to donate your husband’s clothing. Or, you may find something similar in your area. It’s just a thought.
\n\nAnother alternative is creating a memory quilt or pillow from items of his clothing. My friend Steve did this. He had memory quilts made for his three kids and teddy bears for his nine grandchildren…all from his late wife’s clothes. It was a wonderful way to memorialize Nana for her family. I don’t know anything about this particular site, but it’s an example.
\nhttps://www.toocooltshirtquilts.com/blog/dealing-with-the-clothing-of-a-passed-loved-one
\nI hope you find your way through this difficult step with peace…no matter when you decide to do it. Just remember to do it your way. Don’t let anyone tell you how or when. ❤️
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-09-01T01:30:48-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/09/01/what-do-you-do-with.html", "tags": ["Family","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Growth","Wisdom","Courage","Downsizing","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/08/28/just-when-i-thought-it.html", "title": "Just When I thought It Was Allergies", "content_html": "
![\"just](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/1355429514.jpg\")
just when I thought it was allergies…it’s a cold.
“Let all that I am praise the Lord; may I never forget the good things he does for me. He forgives all my sins and heals all my diseases.” Psalms 103:2-3 NLT\nMy “allergies” turned into a full fledged cold yesterday. That didn’t stop me. We had to pick up two loads of my “stuff” from my friend Steve’s house and take it out to the farm. We had a chiropractor appointment first. Then a couple of errands. Then picking up the stuff.\n
When I made the decision to sell my house, downsized 95% of my personal belongings, and move halfway across the country, it had literally whittled my possessions down to what I felt was the bare necessities. When things went south with my aunt on the farm, I needed to leave and couldn’t take my stuff with me. Enter my dear friend, Mr. Steve. His wife and I were friends in school. She passed away not too long before I moved to WV. When Steve learned I didn’t have anyplace to put my stuff, he suggested I leave it in his basement. That was four years ago. He needs his space back. And I need to face another 5% of stuff and figure out if I need it or not.
\nWe spent the better part of yesterday loading up my truck and carting the stuff to the farm. I figure it’s better to have it out there where I have the space to spread out and go through things. I can’t believe I have downsized this much already and I’m still not done. I look at this stuff that I never even thought of over those years. It’s easy to start thinking dumpster.
\nAnd, as I finished the second load, I stretched out on grandma’s bed and promptly fell asleep. When I woke up, I had a fever and I officially have a cold. Ugh. Too much to do to be sick. But I will go to sleep without a fight tonight. ❤️
\n", "date_published": "2018-08-28T01:30:14-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/08/28/just-when-i-thought-it.html", "tags": ["Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Courage","Downsizing","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/08/26/a-man-of-honor.html", "title": "A Man of Honor", "content_html": "![\"Senator](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/8c17a0b8c2.jpg\")
“Senator John McCain 1936-2018”
“Good people leave an inheritance to their grandchildren...” Proverbs 13:22 NLT\n*****Disclaimer: I removed a blatant political comment from a reader. For one, because we don’t discuss politics here. I am not rewarding that kind of negativity with a response. I am not making a political statement by honoring Senator McCain. I am honoring a man who was a devoted family man...a husband, father, friend. I am honoring a soldier, like Mr. Virgo. I am remembering the sacrifices he made for this country....sitting in a Vietnamese prison as a POW, for one. I may not have always agreed with his politics, but I can still honor a man who reached across the aisles. \n
And lastly, the comment included a slur that I will not ever tolerate on this page. The “r” word. There is no place for that here.
\nI am surprised, and dismayed, at the number of people who have unliked my page this morning…obviously because of this post. I hate that we live in such a divisive society that we can’t tolerate a post that remarks on the death of someone in the political arena that sits on the other side of the aisle. I wrote this as a memorial of sorts. Not only to Senator McCain, but to his family and loved ones who are now members of a club many of us belong to and didn’t ask to join.
\nAnd to another of Mr. Virgo’s wonderful stories.*****
\nI am a liberal Democrat, but I really liked Senator John McCain. He spoke in a no-nonsense way and didn’t mince words. He told it like it was and he wasn’t particularly concerned who’s feathers it might ruffle.
\nWhen Mr. Virgo and I first started dating, he worked at the Hotel Jerome in Aspen. Every September, Teddy Forstmann…a wealthy NY financier…gathered the best and the brightest from around the world for the Forstmann Little Conference. He was brilliant and chose an eclectic group…from four-star generals to political powerhouses to athletic superstars. All expenses were paid and the guest roster was always super secret until the opening of the conference. No one ever spoke of the contents of the discussions in the room. Mr. Virgo and the manager of the hotel were the only two people on staff who had a high enough security clearance to go inside. And they were sworn to secrecy.
\nMr. Virgo and I had been dating about a year when the conference convened in September 2006. General Colin Powell was in a wheelchair after breaking a leg. Mr. Virgo told me about tripping over him when he was serving and nearly landing in his lap. He was hush-hush about all but one…Senator John McCain. Mr. Virgo was a staunch Republican. We decided early on we were going to just agree to disagree about politics and call it good. He rarely ever brought it up, but this particular night…he came home in awe. He said, “This man needs to run for the Presidency.” He raved about the Senator’s ability to capture a room and mesmerize his audience in his straight-shooter fashion. He couldn’t stop talking about him.
\nI liked Senator McCain. He was compassionate yet a maverick as he fought with both sides of the aisle. His sense of honor and duty were exemplary. We’ve known for over a year now that he had an aggressive brain cancer. We knew we would be losing him. His treatments allowed him many months of a better quality of life than he would have had otherwise and that offered his family more time to share with their loved one. As those of us who have lost a spouse know, no amount of preparation ahead of time eases the pain of loss and there is a family out there today that is grieving the death of a great man. My heart goes out to them today and my prayer is for their comfort and strength to get through the coming days, weeks, months without him.
\nRest In Peace, sir. Thank you for your service.
\nSenator John McCain 1936-2018
\n??
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-08-26T01:30:40-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/08/26/a-man-of-honor.html", "tags": ["Grief","Prayer","Gratitude","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Aging"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/08/22/another-layer-of-the-onion.html", "title": "Another Layer of the Onion", "content_html": "
![\"Sunset\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/752dbd4a48.jpg\")
“Sunset over the Ponderosa.”
“The Lord examines the righteous, but the wicked, those who love violence, he hates with a passion.” Psalm 11:5 NIV\nOne would think, after nearly five-and-a-half years as a widow, I wouldn’t still be gaining insights into the nature of grief. After all, I’ve written nearly 2,000 daily essays...many dealing with the subjects of death and dying. I’ve passed many milestones. I’ve fallen in love again. Yet, it never ceases to amaze me when I get to peel back another layer and learn something about myself through the lens of loss.\n
Before Mr. Virgo died, I never really thought about death…not on the daily anyway. I had certainly dealt with loss. My beloved grandma, my wonderful mom, and even my estranged father. Still, those losses didn’t put death in my sights. Since his death, however, the prospect of losing someone so close to me again has caused me a great deal of anxiety and a fair amount of fear. Early on, there were so many times when I felt I was just one crisis from losing it completely and my prayer was always, “Lord, please keep everyone safe. I can’t lose another one. I don’t have it in me.” I remember telling people I loved to be extra careful. Don’t get hurt. What I was really saying was, “Please, don’t die.”
\nAs I’ve told you often, I don’t watch TV…I catch my news online so I can pick and choose what I watch. I have noticed changes in the last six months or so. I can concentrate enough to read a book now. I can knit again. I can even go to the movies…something I’d only done once since Mr. Virgo died. Mr. FixIt and I went last week and it was wonderful. Things are changing. Things are healing. And, while I don’t make a regular diet of the news, I have watched the news on occasion lately.
\nIt’s culture shock. After not watching TV for years, watching it is…visceral. Politics. Severe weather. Fires. Crime. It’s been a difficult summer in the world. Last week I was transfixed by the case of Chris Watts. While the facts of the case are abhorrent, my interest was from a psychological standpoint. I saw his interviews with the press. I watched his body language. I knew he was lying. And, I knew he was going to blame his wife for killing the girls and then he was going to say it was a crime of passion. It was like the script was written all over his face. Then, yesterday, they found the body of Mollie Tibbetts after a high profile search. Another layer of the onion of grief was pulled back to reveal a deep fear.
\nBeing a grandmother, one cannot watch stories such as these without thinking of your grandchildren. I realized I had watched too much…dived too deep… when I spent the night clutching my pillow to my chest and begging God to protect my people. I felt riddled with anxiety. My granddaughters are adolescents…attractive, smart, gregarious. I want them to be invisible. I want them to walk around with a force field. I want them to stay in their rooms till they are forty. But, of course I don’t really. I want them to live their lives. I want them to be joyful. I want them to learn and have adventures and be strong women. I just want them to be safe.
\nI will back away from the television now. It causes me dis-ease. I cannot control the world. I can’t keep bad things from happening. I can’t hover over my children and grandchildren. But I can send out as much love and light into the world as I can. And I can encourage others to do the same. I can dish out heaping helpings of encouragement and positivity. With enough prayer and love and light, maybe we will see the change we so desperately hope for…we so desperately need. Walking strong in my faith, knowing who is really in control, soothes me. ?
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-08-22T01:30:47-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/08/22/another-layer-of-the-onion.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Growth","Wisdom","Fear","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/08/20/into-the-wilderness.html", "title": "Into the Wilderness", "content_html": "
![\"Colorado\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/2be4f4fed9.jpg\")
“The wilderness of Colorado offered me a place of solace to grieve.”
“Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil.” Matthew 4:1 NIV\nWhen Mr. Virgo died and I went alone into the wilderness and backroads of Colorado for three months, I was often faced with views such as this. Vast expanses of wilderness, as far as the eye could see. I could go days without seeing another soul. It was what my heart needed...to walk alone with God. To seek quiet counsel with my Father who could comfort me like no other. To feel free to express my emotions in ways that could release the pain and anguish without constraint. It was all part of the life-altering experience of loss and healing.\n
Pastor Justin spoke yesterday of what happened to Jesus after he was baptized. In Matthew, Chapter 4, Jesus had just been baptized and was led by the Holy Spirit into the wilderness. There, he was met by the enemy who tempted him. After fasting for forty days and forty nights, Jesus was hungry. Satan scoffed at him saying, “If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread.” To which Jesus answered that man shall not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of God. The devil led him to a high point and commanded Jesus to jump, saying surely God’s angels would catch him and he would not be harmed. Jesus said, “Do not put the Lord your God to the test.” Again, the enemy took Jesus to the highest point and offered to give Him all of the kingdoms if He would just bow down and worship him. To which Jesus replied, and I paraphrase here…Get the heck away from me! I will serve only my Father in Heaven!
\nThe Pastor brought up a couple of interesting insights that I want to share with you today. First, Jesus was baptized and received the Holy Spirit in the most remarkable way. When we receive the Spirit, we certain feel it to the depth of our soul. We are instantaneously changed…at a cellular level…into a new creation. When Jesus received the Holy Spirit, the sky literally opened up, and the voice of God declared to all that would hear…”This is my Son, in whom I am well pleased.” That had to be epic for those within hearing range. Then, the Holy Spirit was delivered down from Heaven in the form of a dove and landed on Jesus. Can you imagine watching this taking place?
\nThen, what was the first thing that happened? Did Jesus get up and say, “Wow…I feel different now.” Did he walk into favor and blessings and immediately start healing people? No. He was led, by the Holy Spirit, into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil.
\nThis is where we go as well. When we first accept Christ as our Savior, we don’t strut around like we’ve just won Best Actor. We don’t get showered with “super blessings” and everything becomes right in our world. If this is what happened to you, you might want to look back at the sincerity of your proclamation, because what really happens is…we are led into the wilderness. And we are bombarded by the enemy. He tempts us. He lies. He kills. He destroys. We may be bewildered by this because no one told us things were probably going to get mighty difficult when we choose this particular path. Because Satan is threatened by your faith. He hates it. He is jealous. He wants to whisper in your ear and fill you with doubt. We need to do what Jesus did…tell the devil to get away from you. You aren’t having any of this.
\nPastor Justin pointed out…this temptation is a lie. The enemy is tempting you with things you already have. He may tempt you by causing your eye to wander to another when you already have a spouse at home. He may make you envy your neighbor they’re big fancy house when you already have a house of your own. He is offering you things you already have because he doesn’t have anything real to offer you. His offer is death.
\nWhen I look back at the challenges of the last several years, I see so many moments when I could have chucked it all in, but I stayed the course. Because, you never know when the blessing will come. There have been times in this writing journey that I have asked myself if it is worth it to keep going. Have I already said everything there is to say? Is it making a difference to anyone? It can be tiring. It can be frustrating. I sometimes struggle for a topic. But I listen for the still, small voice. And today, it spoke to me through a reader. In my Sunday Evening Prayer Circle, a reader told me she was praying for me and my ministry here. She said that my words have helped her and made a difference in her life. I’m not saying this to boast. I am saying this to praise the Holy Spirit who moved her to answer the question that I lifted up to God just this morning in church.
\n“Am I doing what You want me to do, Lord?”
\nThe answer was, “Yes.”
\n?
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-08-20T01:30:18-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/08/20/into-the-wilderness.html", "tags": ["Faith","Grief","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","God","Courage","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/08/13/monday-morning-wrap-up.html", "title": "Monday Morning Wrap Up", "content_html": "
![\"Rose](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/9c4e2eb752.jpg\")
“My beautiful Rose of Sharon and gigantic Hydrangea”
“Blessed is anyone who does not stumble on account of me.” Matthew 11::6NIV\nWow, what a weekend! A group of my high school friends gathered for a class picnic on Saturday. We had such a good time. There was lots of great food, as you can well imagine. One of our friends lost his wife two months ago, so there were several of us around the table who have known that kind of loss and could offer him the support of one who’s been there. Even though everyone’s grief is different, there are so many threads that creat the same cloth.\n
Sunday was wonderful at church. We had a visiting pastor from Mason, WV who did a terrific job. His sermon was entitled, “I Still Believe”. His message was about John the Baptist. Here was someone who had been the one to pave the way for Jesus. He was the one telling people he wasn’t worthy to unlace the sandals of the Messiah. He is the one who baptized Jesus. Then…he was thrown in prison. He sent a message to Jesus through one of his disciples. He asked, “Are you the one who is to come, or should we expect someone else?” Now, John KNEW Jesus was the Messiah. He had seen the sky open and a dove come down and hear God’s own voice when he had baptized Jesus. Why would he be asking if He was really the one? Pastor Jason proposed that what John was really asking was, “Will you come to me? Will you help me?” When Jesus said no…he wasn’t coming, he wanted the disciple to remind him of all the works he had seen. He wanted John to know, “Blessed is anyone who does not stumble on account of me.” In other words…still believe. Even though I am not coming to rescue you…still believe. And that’s exactly what John did. He still believed.
\nThis is such a valuable message to me. I have had so many struggles. I still believe. I was molested as a child. I still believe. I abused alcohol and drugs. I still believe. I went through two divorces. I still believe. I lost my sweet husband. I still believe. I’ve been betrayed by those I trust. I still believe. I have seen people whom I love struggle and suffer great hardships. I still believe. I have been attacked by the enemy through people I barely knew and never treated poorly. I still believe. I have watched evil walk the earth and do unspeakable things. Yet…I still believe. There is nothing anyone can do that will shake my confidence that God is always there for me and will never forsake me. Even when I don’t feel Him. Even when I don’t see evidence. Even when I pray for things and they don’t turn out the way I thought they would. Even when I don’t find favor. I will still believe because He who lives within me is greater than he who lives in the world.
\nIt was a beautiful day, so after church, we went for Chinese for lunch then out to the farm. I love a Sunday afternoon nap and there’s no place I’d rather do that than the farm. The phone woke me from a dream. I was in the farmhouse, but it was very cold. I was trying to plug a hole in the wall with a cardboard box but I could not figure out how to keep it in place. When I woke up enough, I realized the AC was blowing on my feet. ?♀️
\nThe phone call was from Daughter #2. She was working her shift at the coffee shop when a customer came up and asked her to come to the window. There was a man sitting on the patio out front, in full view….um, let’s just say he was doing something definitely NOT for public viewing. She called security and they said unless they actually saw the activity, they couldn’t do anything. She called her boss and she said to call security back and tell them to get their butts over there, now! Daughter #2, with security backup, had to tell the man to leave. He did not put up a fight and he went on his way. But this worries me. I will not speak my concerns and give them life. She is a smart girl. She will keep her eye out. She was very brave.
\nI still believe. Why? because, she texted me after it was over and said, “Even though I don’t believe in prayer, will you please pray that my day improves?”
\nYou bet, babe. I’ve got your back! ❤️?❤️
\n\n
\n", "date_published": "2018-08-13T01:30:20-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/08/13/monday-morning-wrap-up.html", "tags": ["Faith","God","Courage","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/08/07/hindsight.html", "title": "Hindsight", "content_html": "
![\"Girl](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/21ccb194da.jpg\")
“Ahhh…the joy of youth!”
“Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”\nPhilippians 3:13-14 NIV\nIf you could go back to a fork in the road of your life, what would you do differently? Was there that one moment that you made a split second decision only to immediately regret it? Or, did you labor over some long term plan that just didn’t turn out the way you wanted it to go? We all have those critical junctures, don’t we?\n
Sometimes life does offer you opportunities for do-overs, but not very often. I’ve had a couple, and the privilege was not lost on me. When I hit the bottoms of my barrel and my second marriage ended, I had an immense opportunity to rebuild my life from the ground up. It was a tremendous amount of work, but it was also tremendously fulfilling.
\nLosing Mr. Virgo was a life-shattering experience, but one in which there were incredible moments of personal growth. Again, I completely reinvented myself…I finally explored who I was and what I wanted my legacy to look like.
\nThe young woman in this photograph is my friend Gail’s beautiful daughter who is traveling all over the world, teaching and learning. I look at what she is doing and marvel at her courage and strength, her stamina…her youth. While hers is not necessarily the course I would have taken, there are things I would have loved to do. I really wish I could have been a doctor. The opportunities with that would have been tremendous.
\nAcceptance of what was obviously God’s plan and not my own, shows me I am exactly where He wants me to be. If things were different, I would have my girls, my wonderful son-in-law and his family, my grandchildren. I wouldn’t have gone through the exact circumstances I needed to be who I am today. I wouldn’t have been married to the men I needed to be married to to learn the lessons I needed to learn. I wouldn’t have had Mr. Virgo. I wouldn’t have lost him. I wouldn’t have found love again with Mr. FixIt.
\nI love the freedom in this picture. It reminds me of my carefree youth and makes me smile. ❤️
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-08-07T01:30:51-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/08/07/hindsight.html", "tags": ["Fun","Growth","Gratitude","Courage","Aging","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/07/28/am-i-a-senior-citizen.html", "title": "Am I a Senior Citizen?", "content_html": "
![\"7](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/cf6d420798.jpg\")
“7 Tips for Seniors. Am I a SENIOR???”
“Do not cast me away when I am old; do not forsake me when my strength is gone.”\nPsalm 71:9 NIV\nOk, I turned 65 in June. No big deal. Got my Medicare card, which is UBER cool. I get discounts (when I remember to ask for them). But that’s the thing...I don’t remember to ask for them. Because, I’m NOT a senior citizen. How could that be remotely possible?\n
Oh, but it is. I looked it up. Google says…in many different places…that you reach senior citizen status when you turn 65. It’s pretty standard because that’s when you start receiving Medicare benefits. At least, for now you do. Uncertainty aside, I rebel at that “senior citizen” label. That’s for “old” people. Right? That’s what I used to think, anyway.
\nI saw this chart on Facebook yesterday. It’s all about staying safe in the summer heat. I have noticed over the last few years, my tolerance for heat has been drastically reduced. I also found out that once you have had an episode of heat exhaustion or heat stroke, you are much more susceptible with each recurrent heat exposure. I don’t like this. I used to work outside for hours…gardening, hiking, biking. Nowadays, I’m running for the air conditioning when the temp gets up to 80. And then, ten minutes later, I’m putting on a sweatshirt.
\nI remember my grandma sitting down to eat supper and fanning herself with her apron…yelling for someone to open the front door. Ten minutes later, someone had to get up to close it. Over and over. We just don’t regulate our body heat like we used to. And that’s kind of hard to admit when you truly feel 35 in your brain.
\nThe thing is…and I don’t know if this is power of suggestion or not…I’ve felt my age more since this last birthday than I have any previous ones. I’m sure part of that is caused by catching up with medical procedures that I have been putting off till Medicare started so I didn’t have to pay a huge deductible. I’ve had mammograms and biopsies and surgery and a CT scan. I’m getting ready to see a gastroenterologist and a dermatologist. Oy! That’s enough to make anyone feel “older”.
\nSo, I guess I’ll cut myself some slack. I’ve been burning the candle at both ends for a long time. I’ve had to focus on health issues for a little bit. I’m sure when I’m caught up and I don’t feel like I’m going to the doctor every week, things will settle down. In the meantime, I have to admit…I’m 65. There really ARE things I have to pay attention to that I didn’t have to when I was younger. But I’m not “old”…I’m aging positively. I’m aging intelligently. I’m becoming informed. And…I get a senior discount. Go ME!!! ❤️
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-07-28T01:30:07-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/07/28/am-i-a-senior-citizen.html", "tags": ["Gratitude","Grace","Courage","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/07/25/vaya-con-dios-colorado.html", "title": "Vaya con Dios, Colorado!", "content_html": "
![\"woman](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/c3b35b98be.jpg\")
“Goodbyes are always bittersweet.”
“The Lord makes firm the steps of the one who delights in him; though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with his hand.”\nPsalm 37:23-24 NIV\nIt is time. Three weeks ago, the time for my visit stretched long before me. And, in the blink of an eye...it is gone. Today I travel home to West Virginia. Goodbyes are always so bittersweet. Oh, how I miss my babies...big and little. How I miss my brother and the rest of my Colorado family and friends. How I miss being nearby and stopping to visit with Mr. Virgo whenever I want. But it can’t be helped. There are so many reasons why I don’t live in Colorado anymore.\n
The main impetus that led my move to West Virginia was two-fold. Economics made Colorado far out of my housing budget and caring for an elderly family member in my home state seemed appropriate. If I would have known that endeavor would have only last ten weeks, I likely would have done things differently. I may have kept my Colorado house and rented it out. I may not have purchased such a big camper. I may have more evenly split my time between Colorado and West Virginia. But, hindsight being 20/20, it is what it is and I wouldn’t have changed a thing if I could.
\nMoving to West Virginia was the path my life needed to take. I needed to feel the freedom of living on my own. I needed to feel the love and connection of caretaking my family farm, which turned out to be the ultimate conclusion of the elder care situation. I needed the social group my hometown afforded me. And, most importantly of all…destiny brought Mr. FixIt and me together! He is such a joy to have in my life and I can’t imagine him not being there.
\nOne of the downsides to living so far away is the limited amount of time my family has to spend bonding with Mr. FixIt. They don’t feel the connection with him that they felt with Mr. Virgo. You can’t develop a loving bond with someone you have a couple of dinners with over a period of a week or so. I understand that. I just hope they can understand my commitment to him and why I live where I do and not near them. It tears at a mother’s (and grandmother’s) heart when you can’t be near them always. The other side of the coin is, travel goes both ways. So do phone calls and texts and FaceTiming. It’s a new time in our lives. A new adjustment. A new phase.
\nI know where they are coming from, though. When my mom lived in West Virginia and I lived in Colorado, it used to drive me crazy. I wanted her to move to Colorado where I could help her more. I wanted her to have access to excellent healthcare. I wanted her close where I could watch over her. I guess what it boils down to is…I wanted more control. (Ahhhh, it always boils down to control, doesn’t it?) My girls saw me struggle to help my mom long distance. They don’t want to have to do that, too. I get that. But, NOW I totally get where my mom was coming from. Whereas I though she was being terribly stubborn and unreasonable, I now see she was living the way SHE wanted to live…WHERE she wanted to live. I wish I could have understood that more at the time. I think I would have been more gentle with her.
\nAt any rate…I have promises from all my Colorado family that we will make a concerted effort to reach out more and stay connected by the various media channels we have access to. And…my sweet and handsome all-time BEST friend in the whole wide world will be standing in Columbus Airport today welcoming me home with the very best hug on the planet!!! I wouldn’t trade that for ANYTHING!
\nVaya con Dios, Colorado…I’ll be back as soon as I can! ❤
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-07-25T01:30:24-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/07/25/vaya-con-dios-colorado.html", "tags": ["Colorado","Family","Travel","Uplifting Stories","Hope","Positive Energy","Fun","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Love","Wisdom","Courage","Presence"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/07/17/mile-tuneuporhow-emdr-saves-my.html", "title": "50,000 Mile Tune-Up...or...How EMDR Saves My Brain", "content_html": "
![\"EMDR](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/6e179e82e7.jpg\")
“EMDR reprograms your brain.”
“Behold, I will bring it health and cure, and I will cure them, and will reveal unto them the abundance of peace and truth.”\nJeremiah 33:6 KJV\nA little over five years ago, I sat on a stool in the corner of an emergency room and watched them do CPR on my husband. It went on FOR-EV-ER. Stop. Start. Shock. X-Ray. Start. Stop. Check. Shock. Over and over and over. I sat with my hand clasped over my mouth to keep from screaming. I wrapped my feet intricately around and through the legs of the stool to keep from jumping up and running away. My shoulders slumped...my free hand dug into my thigh so I could feel something other than horror. And all of that...all of the valiant efforts, all of the shouts for more drugs, all of the hustle and bustle and orchestrated chaos could not save him. He died in spite of the best efforts of the Western Slope’s best and brightest. He died. And I could do nothing to stop it.\n
I ran away in my camper for three months. I busied myself. I “dated” a guy which turned out to be more about putting a tourniquet around my bleeding heart than it did about “love”. It had nothing to do with love. It had everything to do with escape. Then, one sunny afternoon at a fair in the park, a gentleman standing nearby choked. Like, Heimlich Maneuver choked. And I was frozen. Instead of jumping in as I had been trained to do…as I was certified to do…a movie started playing in my head as I stood in the park. Suddenly, I was back in the ER, sitting on the stool, watching them do CPR on my husband. It went on FOR-EV-ER. I mean, I KNEW I was in the park. So why was I “seeing” this rerun?
\nThe rerun scared the crap out of me. And, I immediately associated it with a medical emergency…both my husband’s heart attack and the gentleman choking on chicken. I began to dread what might happen if there was a real emergency and I couldn’t step up to the plate. I avoided being in situations where someone could get hurt or sick or…God forbid…NEED me. I suffered wave after wave…not only of grief, but also anxiety. To the point of vomiting uncontrollably for hours. Simply put, I was a mess.
\nI went to see my doctor and asked her if she could recommend a grief counselor. And when I first talked with her, she said, “Ginny, I think you have PTSD.” She told me she wanted to do something called EMDR on me. Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. It is THE most accepted PTSD treatment. Normally, when we experience a disturbing event, our brains process it and file it away neatly in it’s appropriate folder in our memory bank and life goes on. But, when the event is associated with trauma…like watching prolonged CPR…something happens in the filing process and the memory gets stuck. It is like a video playing on a continuous loop…over and over and over. The thought becomes intrusive…meaning, unbidden. Uncontrollable. It creates fear. And it is terribly distressing.
\nAfter the first EMDR treatment, the improvement was extraordinary. It’s non-invasive and is accomplished so simply. You sit in a comfortable chair, You conjure up the image that is giving you the most trouble…no matter how painful it is. You hang onto that thought while watching the practitioner move her finger back and forth, back and forth, back and forth across your field of vision. You follow her finger with your eyes. The rapid eye movement actually reprograms your brain. It can make the memory fade. It can change it into something else. It can process it and let it go into the file with all the other memories. And it can release you from the pain of seeing it over and over and over.
\nI really did well. My anxiety level was lower. I had few, if any, real panic attacks. I still dealt with grief waves, but not the horrifying repetitious movie starring CPR. Then, about a year and a half ago, I started having episodes of anxiety again. About once a week or so, I would spend the night sick as a dog. I couldn’t keep anything down. I began to dread going places. I began to fear medical situations again. What began slowly, started cranking up more and more and with every insult to my central nervous system, it got worse. Surgery cranked it up. The episode with my aunt with dementia cranked it up. Flying cranked it up. Being away from Mr. FixIt cranked it up. I texted my grief counselor, Karen, and told her I thought I needed an EMDR tuneup so we scheduled it to coincide with my trip this week to visit my brother.
\nAs I caught up with her yesterday, I told her about Mr. FixIt and how happy we are. We talked about all the really good, positive changes that have come into my life. Then she asked what happened a year and a half ago that started the cycle again. I told her about the car accident. She asked what it was about that that triggered me and I surprised myself by bursting into tears. I sobbed and covered my face.
\n“I thought I killed her!” I cried.
\n“Who?”
\n“The young girl in the backseat! Her head was lolled over, her face was bloodied. Her mama cradled her head in her hands and begged her to wake up. The man who was driving ran at me screaming, “You killed her! She was supposed to turn 17 this week!!!””
\nI sobbed and Karen put her hand on my knee.
\n“Oh, Ginny…that had to be terrifying.” She comforted me with her soft, caring voice. “I think that’s it. I think that is what has prodded your PTSD awake.”
\nJust like grief, you don’t get “cured” of PTSD. It can raise it’s ugly head just like unexpected waves of grief can overtake you at any given moment.
\nWe did a session of EMDR. We repeated it eight times or so. With each subsequent series of back and forth movements, it felt as though someone were turning down the volume knob like a radio in my brain. The first series resulted in me feeling immediately calmer. The second made me feel like I had taken a step back and I wasn’t sitting in the driver’s seat of the truck. I was in the back seat. The third set had me standing behind the truck. The fourth set had me even further behind the truck…like zooming out on a long camera lens. I was surprised by the fifth set. I had a flash of the young girl going to prom. The implication being…she was fine and healthy. Each subsequent set of movement took me further and further into this relaxed, soft, safe place. It is remarkable something so simple can have such a huge impact.
\nI had not cried about the accident up to that point. I had not processed, or even acknowledged, the trauma of thinking I had killed someone. Of being verbally and physically challenged by the other driver. And we all know that unprocessed trauma, like unprocessed grief…festers. It does not serve us to grit our teeth and white-knuckle our way through these episodes. From now on I will be proactive and get the help I need instead of trying to handle it on my own. I can’t tell you how much better I feel. When I got home from the mountains yesterday, my son-in-law’s dad made the observation that even my voice was different…relaxed, easy, slower. There is no shame in admitting you need help to work through something. We women think we are supposed to have it all together. I told a friend the other day that I just want to be normal. She smiled and said, “Sweetie, you ARE normal. Everybody has something they have to deal with. What you want is perfection!’ Ahhhh…she knows me well.
\nNone of us are perfect. Ask for help if you need it. Don’t try to just get by with a stiff upper lip. Just “getting though it” is no way to live. ❤
\n", "date_published": "2018-07-17T01:30:47-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/07/17/mile-tuneuporhow-emdr-saves-my.html", "tags": ["Travel","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","Growth","New Ideas","Gratitude","Comfort","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/07/16/what-is-this-wet-stuff.html", "title": "What Is This Wet Stuff?", "content_html": "![\"Rain\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/f7c98b283b.jpg\")
“What is this wet stuff???”
“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.”\nRomans 15:13 ESV\nI was sitting with my friend, Terri, yesterday when I heard this loud roaring noise. At first, I thought the air conditioner had gone on the fritz. I looked out the window and saw sunshine so I knew it wasn’t rain. I looked around, puzzled. Suddenly, everyone jumped up and ran to the windows. Rain! It really was raining. And pretty darned hard, too. Since the sun was out, there was an impressive rainbow. But do you think I ran and got my camera to document the event? Oh, heck no! I might have missed the whole storm. And rain is NOT something you want to miss in this semi-arid climate.\n
Colorado is parched. The grass crackles under your feet. Miss one day watering your plants or lawn and you have nothing but pale straw colored spikes. You know it’s a dry summer when the headline on the news alert coming out of Denver is “IT’S RAINING!” The other night, my son-in-law’s dad got the call…there would be no more water in the ditch. They own shares in the irrigation ditch…along with a gazillion other people. The ditch hasn’t dried up in years. I hope what little bit of rain we received here yesterday will help ease the fire danger. These people don’t live with “IF” when it comes to fires. They live with “WHEN”. It’s scary.
\nI visited Mr. Virgo’s grave again. I cleared away the old decorations and try as I might, I couldn’t find anything to replace them. I’ll clean up the cross and put it back on his grave before I leave tomorrow. As I sat there talking to him, I told him it was time to order his headstone. I just haven’t done it. It’s the “last thing”. I thought perhaps I was being remiss in not getting this part done. But I have been assured by many others I’m not alone. I mean, I’m in a new relationship. I’m happy. Mr. Virgo would be thrilled that I am living my life. Setting that headstone is sealing the past in the past. I’m ready to do that now. As soon as I told him I was going to order his stone, the bluebirds came. They circled around and around…a dozen or more of them. I laughed and said “Ok, Ok…I see you!” When I finally pulled out of the cemetery, the bluebirds followed along beside my car all the way down the hill. It was stunning! I left feeling optimistic…and somewhat relieved. I’m ready. ❤️
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-07-16T01:30:36-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/07/16/what-is-this-wet-stuff.html", "tags": ["Family","Grief","Growth","Gratitude","Courage","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/07/15/your-difference-is-your-beauty.html", "title": "Your Difference is Your Beauty", "content_html": "
![\"Meme\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/9d26193c5d.jpg\")
“Your DIFFERENCE is your BEAUTY.”“But the Lord said to Samuel, \"Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.\"”\n1 Samuel 16:7 ESV\nI came to the mountains yesterday to visit my brother and some friends one more time before I go back to West Virginia. The rest of my visit is booked with the Denver family, so this is my last trip here for a while.\n
The traffic coming out of Denver was terrible. It seems everyone and their brother had the same idea to head to the mountains for the weekend and a normally three hour trip took four-and-a-half. Seriously though, if you have to get stuck in traffic somewhere, I can think of far worse places than the middle of the Rockies. I had my praise music cranked up and sat staring at the beauty all around me and my heart was full.
\nWhen I arrived in Glenwood Springs, I turned onto 8th Avenue and the first parking spot opened up. I smiled and thought of my dad’s second wife. Whenever we drove someplace and a parking space opened right when we got there she said, “Thank you, Lord.” I did the same. I wandered around the downtown area and saw some people I have known for years, having lived in the area from 1986 to 2014. I browsed the little shops. I ran into a friend who recently lost her husband and finally got to give her that big hug I’ve been wanting to share.
\nI was looking for a dress for Mr. FixIt’s granddaughter’s wedding in August, but couldn’t find anything I liked. So I wandered down the street to one of my favorite restaurants…a little Cajun place with great jambalaya and beignets. My wait person arrived and took my order. This was a person whose gender is ill defined. Delightful, friendly, efficient, attentive and…different. I have a daughter who is outside of a binary gender identification. Her pronoun is feminine. Sometimes her look is, too. And sometimes it is not. She has always been unique.
\nAs I watched my waitperson, I thought about this small town and how difficult it was just fifteen years ago to be different than the other kids. My daughter suffered terribly at the hands of bullies. Today, I believe those kids who were marginalized in the past are being embraced more readily by their peers.
\nDelightfully stuffed, I figured in a generous tip and wrote the following on the receipt.
\n“Your difference is your beauty. I hope you have a wonderful day! ❤”
\nYou never know whose life you may touch when you are out and about. Whether you agree with a person’s lifestyle or not, always choose kindness.
\n❤
\n\n
\n", "date_published": "2018-07-15T01:30:58-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/07/15/your-difference-is-your-beauty.html", "tags": ["Faith","Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","Grace","Love","Wisdom","Courage","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/07/12/the-pillar-of-truth.html", "title": "The Pillar of Truth", "content_html": "
![\"The](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/d46870f9d6.jpg\")
\n“Now, faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” Hebrews 11:1 KJV\nOnce upon a time, in a beautiful palace in Heaven, the was a crystal pillar resting on a stand. It was The Pillar of Truth. There were no flaws within this crystal and every angle reflected the perfect truth to its observers. This was a cherished object in Heaven. There were a band of angels whose job it was to polish this stunning pillar til it glistened in the sunlight that filtered into the palace.\n
On occasion, a novice pillar polisher would be needed and some young angel would get the opportunity to become an apprentice. This was a great honor, as all of the truth was held within this stone. The angels took their assignment quite seriously.
\nOne day, a new novice crept into the pillar room to gaze upon the glorious piece. She couldn’t get enough of it during the long hours of polishing so she had to come in alone while the other angels were sleeping. As she stared into the depths of the crystal, she felt she could literally reach inside and learn vast, great things. She reached out and placed her hand on the cold surface and could feel the energy within. She was mesmerized. When she finally pulled her hand away, she could see a distinct smudge on the surface and she was appalled. She whipped out her polishing cloth and rushed forward to wipe away the mess she had made.
\nAs the little angel plunged forward, her toe caught on the hem of her robe and she stumbled into the pillar. It rocked and tipped. She stood there and held her breath, hoping it would right itself, but instead…the great Pillar of Truth tipped over, crashing onto the marble floor into a million gazillion tiny slivers. Oh! What ever was she going to do? Surely the sound of the great crash would bring the other angels running in any minute! She ran to the closet and grabbed a large broom and began to sweep the tiny shards out the door of the palace where they fell onto the surface of a cloud.
\nAs the slivers built up within the cloud, moisture began to gather on them and just as the last dustpan full of shards were dropped onto the cloud, a great strike of lightning and clap of thunder resounded throughout Heaven and a heavy rain began to shower earth.
\nAs the rain came down, everyone on earth came out to look in awe, because every drop of rain held a rainbow…a prism of light reflected off the tiny slivers of The Pillar of Truth. They held their faces up to the warm rain and when they did so, the tiny shards from the pillar pierced their eyes. They felt no pain, but they knew something was different. They knew, without a shadow of a doubt that what they saw, what they knew, what they had learned, and what they believed was THE truth. The ONLY truth
\nAnd this is how it happened that people all over the world, in every walk of life, in every faith, with every dogma came to believe that their way was the ONLY way. That others were wrong if they believed differently. This perceived “truth” fractured the world and caused deep rifts between the many factions of society.
\nI am a Christian. This is how I identify. I love the Lord. I follow Him as best I can. I know I will differ with some. There are many paths in this world. I choose the one with Jesus. I am willing to share mine. I am willing to learn of yours. And, I will not ever tell you you are wrong and only I am right. As far as I know, there has not been a team of investigative journalists go to Heaven, document how it all works, and come back with the evidence. For me, personally…I have faith that there is a Heaven. I believe Hell is the complete absence of God…a place I have been and never wish to return to.
\nEvery branch of Christianity, every walk of faith thinks their way is the only way. They all have a shard from The Pillar of Truth in their eye. What is the exact answer? This is where faith come in. ❤
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-07-12T01:30:02-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/07/12/the-pillar-of-truth.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Growth","New Ideas","Gratitude","Grace","God","Wisdom","Courage","Presence","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/07/05/colorado.html", "title": "Colorado!", "content_html": "
![\"Fireworks\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/4380f46185.jpg\")
“Fireworks…I didn’t go see them this year. Too tired after a long day traveling.”
“Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, \"Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.\"”\nRomans 12:19 ESV\nWe started out the day yesterday bright and early. We had to drive 2.5 hours to Columbus and be there two hours ahead of my flight. When I went to check into the ticket counter, it was closed with a sign that gave a number to call for rebooking flights. That made it sound like something was going on with the airline, but I found out it just meant they didn’t open the desk until two hours before the flight. Then, something was wrong with the printer and they couldn’t get it to work. Finally I was shifted to another line and it worked. I had paid extra for a seat with extra legroom but when I got onboard, I found I had been moved back further in the plane so I was crammed in like a sardine. The seats don’t recline and my knees pressed against the seat back in front of me. I ended up taking a second Dramamine and sleeping the whole way, which was fine.\n
While all this was going on, my first husband’s wife was attacked and carjacked in Louisville, Kentucky. A man came up to her and asked for money. She said she never carried money so he told her he would just take her car. She managed to grab a bag out of the car before he got her in a choke hold and she nearly passed out. She tried to fight him but she was too short. So she bit the h*** out of his arm. That’s when he punched her and threw her to the ground, grabbed her keys and took off with the car. She is going to be fine. Bruised with a cut on her lip and mad as a hornet.
\nWhen I think of how this could have turned out much differently, my little fussiness at the airport was nothing. A blip on the radar. Thank God she’s ok. I am grateful it wasn’t worse.
\nAnd now I’m here with my Colorado family. Let the fun begin!❤️
\n\n
\n", "date_published": "2018-07-05T01:30:59-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/07/05/colorado.html", "tags": ["Family","Fear","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/07/01/clearing-things-up.html", "title": "Clearing Things Up", "content_html": "
![\"Creek\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/56e5a5c604.jpg\")
“Trying to keep up with the jungle of vegetation on the farm.”
“For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.”\nGalatians 1:10 ESV\nParts of West Virginia have already received 36” of rain and the year is only half over. The average rainfall here is 44” annually. What this creates is something akin to a tropical rainforest. And, unless you absolutely stay on top of it, things like creeks can quickly become overgrown and clogged up. This presents a huge problem if, say, a culvert gets backed up. In our case, the creek runs right along the house. If it overflowed, it could undermine the foundation and then we’d be in big trouble.\n
While my uncle was here, I had a fellow come and give us an estimate for clearing out the brush, vines, saplings, and briars that had accumulated since the creek was last cleared…four years ago. I had long ago decided I was not going to get down in that snake infested place with a weed eater and a chain saw at the age of sixty-five. Especially when the heat index is pushing 100 degrees. Fortunately, my uncle agreed, we told the fellow what we wanted and agreed on a price. $200 from the road up to behind the house as well as the removal of several years of poison ivy growth up on the barn. An absolute bargain, if you ask me.
\nI love how the challenges we go through in life offer abundant opportunities for personal growth. After reading your responses to my posts about my elderly aunt with dementia, and having a couple of days to think about it, I’ve begun to see the blessings that come in disguise. First, was God removing me from the equation when it came to caring for my aunt long term. He knew that was not a good scenario for either one of us and made it disappear. Second, was me asking myself why it upsets me when my aunt says unkind things to me. As uncomfortable as it was to admit, I realized that there is a part of me that is still stuck seeking approval and love from others. It was eye-opening.
\nYesterday, I mentioned Byron Katie and “The Work”…a method of self-inquiry that helps change the way we think about things and gives us freedom from long-held beliefs that are likely untrue. To boil it down, you examine your thought, write it down, ask the questions, and turn it around.
\nExample:
\n“My aunt does not like me.”
\nYes, I believe so.
\nWell, no. I cannot read her mind. Her actions tell me she doesn’t, but I do not know that she absolutely does not like me.
\nUnloveable. Disappointed. Hurt. Angry.
\nFree. Peaceful. Friendly. Less stressed. Less self-deprecating. Kind.
\nIf you turn it around, is it as true or more true?
\n“I do not like my aunt.”
\nWow. Well, yeah…she is not my favorite person in the world.
\nTurn it some more.
\n“I do not like myself.”
\nWhoa. Truth…I do not like myself when I am judgmental and critical of others…when I am unkind or unloving or ungrateful.
\nLight bulb moment.
\nWhen I looked up the quote I used in yesterday’s post, I notice Katie has another book called “I Need Your Love - Is That True?” I immediately downloaded it. We are set up in childhood to seek love, approval and appreciation from others when we should be getting it from within…from OURSELVES. I am enjoying this read immensely. It is an excellent reminder of how we continually keep ourselves stressed when we seek, and do not get, things from others that we should be giving ourselves. I talk a good game when I say “I don’t care what others think of me!” When in reality, if I’m perfectly honest, I care more than I should. I seek approval more than I should. I want appreciation more than I should. If I could give myself these things, I would be free to enjoy the interactions with others on their own merit and not by what I am getting (or NOT getting) from it.
\nI love personal growth…almost 100% of the time. ❤
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-07-01T01:30:25-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/07/01/clearing-things-up.html", "tags": ["Courage","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/06/30/reconciling-with-reality.html", "title": "Reconciling with Reality", "content_html": "
![\"Garden\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/9d063f0fc4.jpg\")
“The garden. In my mind, it’s huge and full of marvelous potential. In reality, three bean plants came up out of two plantings.”
“Who has put wisdom in the inward parts or given understanding to the mind?”\nJob 38:36 ESV\nByron Katie wrote “When I argue with reality, I lose...but only 100% of the time.” As I have contemplated the events of Thursday night with my aunt, I have ruminated over our relationship these last 65 years. This is the aunt I came to West Virginia to help four years ago. That particular venture lasted ten very long and miserable weeks...for both of us. On Christmas Day she rather unceremoniously invited me to leave. And I did so gracefully. She wasn’t ready to have someone living with her full time. I wasn’t ready to devote myself to such an undertaking. It had only been a year and a half since losing Mr. Virgo. So, God did what God does...He removed me from the situation and planted me where He wanted me.\n
This particular aunt has always been referred to as “The Cruise Director” in my family. She tells people to jump and they ask “How High?” on the way up. That’s not me. So, we butted heads a lot. She was a school teacher. She expected children to mind her. That was not me. I talked a blue streak and was filled with exuberant curiosity. We were always just out of step with each other, but I always still loved her. I thought she loved me. Maybe she did, maybe she didn’t. Doesn’t matter.
\nMy aunt and I had our first major disagreement after my mother died. I was in West Virginia for a week for the funeral and needed to return to Colorado. She agreed to let my brother stay with her while I was gone. I brought him to the farm.
\nI was leaving she said, “Now, I’ll go to the house and clean it out while you are gone.”
\n“Oh, no…you don’t need to do that. I’ll do it when I get back.” I said.
\n“No, I will go in and clean it out while you are gone.”
\n“Really…I need to do that. I need to go through the papers and things and get everything straightened out. I need time to do that.”
\n“Well,” she said. “There are things in that house I want.”
\n“I’m sorry?”
\n“Yes, there are things in there I want, so I’ll come get them while you are gone.” Stern, authoritative. Totally mistaking who she is dealing with.
\n“No. That house is mine and my brothers. The things in it are mine and my brothers. If there are things you would like, you can give me a list, and if me or my children or my brother do not want them, I will be happy to let you have them.”
\nAs I drove home, I cried. I was bereaved and now I was being treated unfairly by someone I thought cared about me. I was nearly back to my mom’s house when I drove past Home Depot. I pulled in and bought new door locks and installed them when I got home. I wrote a kind letter thanking my aunt for her generous offer to help me, but I really did intend to do this myself as I needed the closure. And, to keep her from being tempted to go in and do all that work anyway, I had changed the locks. You know…to remove the temptation.
\nShe was furious. In the following 8 months that I was there fixing up mom’s house to sell, she never stepped foot in it again. We are both very stubborn women.
\nThe following year, I met Mr. Virgo. Two years later, we married. Six years later, he died. One year later I decided to sell my house and move to Denver. But the market wasn’t strong where my house was and my sale price was much lower than my asking price. And, the price of real estate in the Denver metro area had increased nearly 20%. Unless I wanted another mortgage, I needed to make alternate plans. About that time, I had a trip planned to West Virginia and was staying at the farm. She wasn’t doing very well. She had a terrible tremor and it was interfering with her ability to take care of herself. We had long conversations and we talked with her daughter and my uncle and we decided I would come to West Virginia to help her out on the farm.
\nOur second big disagreement came in the form of a painting she did not like. Her reasoning was my first clue there might be a problem with cognition. I started watching for signs of dementia. She had word finding difficulties. She burned up several tea kettles. She was becoming more and more belligerent and argumentative and truthfully…flat out ugly to me. It was traumatic. When we parted seed corn, I went on my way and traveled and had adventures and wrote and wrote and wrote. And I did a lot of healing.
\nI came out to the farm about once a week or so to check in. I’d bring her some groceries. I’d make sure she had some good meals in the fridge to heat up. I’d do a load or two of laundry. We settled into a kind of truce. Then, in the summer of 2016, I was driving cross country to attend my high school reunion. I wasn’t sure where I was going to live that winter. I received a phone call that my aunt wasn’t doing well. She had been hospitalized. My uncle asked me to care for the farm while he took her to live with him. And that’s how I came back to the home of my heart…this time with healing and love and freedom.
\nAfter everything was settled Thursday night, and they had packed up the car to take my aunt back home, I shook for half an hour. I recognized the symptoms of PTSD. This is one of the after effects of my grief. Mr. FixIt laid down beside me and held my hands while I breathed and talked to Jesus. I soon felt better and slept well. This morning, I was fine.
\nFacing the reality that sometimes relationships aren’t what you had hoped they would be has helped me. Being honest with my own feelings has released me from harboring guilt and anger. When my aunt said ugly things to me all my life, it had absolutely nothing to do with me and absolutely everything to do with the person she is and where she is on her journey. The other night, she told me my grandma wouldn’t like me having a man in her bed. Her attempt to shame me. I didn’t bite. Oh, it stung a little. And there were things I would have liked to say to her. Like…my grandma would be proud of me for dropping everything and coming to help someone who obviously has never liked me. Or…my grandma would be proud that I turn the other cheek and try to love a difficult person the same way Jesus loves me. Or…my grandma would be proud that I am caring for her beloved farm the way she did. Instead, I said, “I hope you dream sweet on this new mattress. I put fresh crisp sheets on for you. Here’s an extra blanket. We’ll be right here if you need anything.”
\nI’m not a saint. But I know where to pick my battles and arguing with someone with dementia isn’t going to go anywhere I need to be. I hate that this is happening to her. I hate that my uncle is having to care for both his sister and his wife with Alzheimer’s. I hate that my cousin’s daughter was so traumatized by the events that went down Thursday night. It’s a terrible disease and there is never a good outcome. It does no good to argue with that reality. ❤
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-06-30T01:30:49-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/06/30/reconciling-with-reality.html", "tags": ["Courage","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/06/26/killing-the-spider.html", "title": "Killing the Spider", "content_html": "
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/cffca1cae7.jpg\")
\n“In that day you will ask nothing of me. Truly, truly, I say to you, whatever you ask of the Father in my name, he will give it to you. Until now you have asked nothing in my name. Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full.”\nJohn 16:23-24 ESV\nI used to hear “Wouldn’t it be awesome if people wouldn’t leave their houses without their Bibles like they worry about forgetting their cellphones?” Now, unless you have a phone from the stone ages, you can download the Bible app and have it with you wherever you go.\n
I had the app on my phone for a long time before I regularly used it. I guess I sort of thought I would absorb it by osmosis or something. But, like taking a necessary medication, it doesn’t work if you leave it on the shelf. You have to do your part and read.
\nAlong with the Bible app comes a feature that allows you to participate in devotionals. You can gather groups to do these devotionals with you. My small group at church does this together. It’s nice having a sense of community and having some accountability to study the Word every day. I actually participate in several devotionals. One I really enjoy comes by e-mail from the Proverbs 31 Ministry. Yesterday morning, I received one written by Carlos Whittaker entitled “Kill the Spider”. Carlos was about to attend a weeklong “therapy” session but told his dad he was going on a “retreat”. It sounded gentler. His father, being a minister, said he wanted to tell him a story. He had once held a week long Revival in Panama. A woman came forward, painstakingly slow, and asked that he pray to have the cobwebs removed from her life. He prayed fervently for her. The next night, the same woman came forward, a bit more energetically, and requested the same prayer. Hesitating, he did so. By the third night, the woman was much improved, but again, asked for the cobwebs to be removed from her life. He stopped and said, “I think we are praying for the wrong thing.” He bowed his head and said, “Lord, please come kill the spider that is creating cobwebs in this woman’s life!”
\nWhat a wonderful lesson this was. We all have cobwebs. We all have spiders. It doesn’t make any sense to pray for the removal of the cobwebs…the after effects of the spiders in our lives. We must eradicate the spiders…those people and circumstances that are causing the problems we have to clean up after. Sometimes we just have to clean house and get rid of the spiders. I shared this with a couple of my friends yesterday who remarked that sometimes they have tarantulas! So true!
\nWhat spiders are filling your lives with cobwebs today? Do you want to keep sweeping out the corners, or are you ready to kill the spider? As Carlos reminds us, we have the same power within us that rolled away the stone. Draw on that power. Believe in that power and it is amazing what changes God can bring about in your life. ❤
\n", "date_published": "2018-06-26T01:30:01-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/06/26/killing-the-spider.html", "tags": ["Faith","Growth","Grace","God","Courage","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/06/24/let-freedom-ring.html", "title": "Let Freedom Ring!", "content_html": "![\"Freedom](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/0683c845fb.jpg\")
“Let Freedom Ring!”
“For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.”\nGalatians 5:1 ESV\nI just finished writing July’s post for the Sisters on the Fly blog. I wrote about the many freedoms we are blessed with beyond Independence Day. The audience for that blog is women campers. There is a certain reservation in my writing there as I am paid to do so. Therefore, I am somewhat constrained in my topics. I always check in with them ahead of time, find out what their theme of the month is, and write accordingly. It’s not like this blog where I speak my heart and my truth. So I’ll write the “Marshmallow Ranch” version of that blog here.\n
Independence Day. The 4th of July is coming soon. Images of family gatherings, cookouts, baseball games, fireworks. That’s what it’s all about, right? Well, yes…and no. In 1776, our forefathers of this nation set forth a document that outlined our beliefs pertaining to our independence from Great Britain. Man made laws that apparently gave us our freedom. However, we were given freedom long, long before this document was drawn up. At least…we were given the choice.
\nWe were given freedom from the weight of our past. Our sins. I am reminded of a weight I used to carry that I finally put down eighteen years ago. In the ‘80s and ‘90s, I had a problem. I was a doctor’s wife and as such, I was highly over treated medically. I was given drugs freely and when I cried out for help, I was stifled. I was given more drugs and more drugs. I took up drinking with a vengeance. I was dying as fast as I could and it wasn’t fast enough so I took two bottles of pills and almost finished the task.
\nThank God, I am a different human being now. I got the help I needed. I found the people who listened. And I got away from the situation that sent me down that path. On occasion, I get a reminder of what that life was really like. Case in point…I had surgery on Thursday and was given a narcotic pain reliever. In such a case, I will take these…reluctantly. But, let me tell you…I am EXTREMELY cautious. I do not like how they make me feel. I don’t like the fuzziness. I don’t like the disconnection from my surroundings. I hate the dry mouth and the upset stomach. And I hate the feeling I get when I stop taking them. Even just taking them for 24 hours, I feel a sinking darkness that comes over me. For the life of me, I cannot understand how I could have taken so much of this stuff back in the day. I couldn’t function. I wasn’t participating in life…in the lives of my family. It is just a sad reminder of what we all went through because a referral pattern is a terrible thing to waste. I was a doctor’s wife, after all. His colleagues had to go above and beyond. It was a brutal time.
\nI will not submit to the yoke of slavery that drugs and alcohol brought into my life. I am judicious in my choices and stand firm in that because quitting was, aside from losing Mr. Virgo, the most difficult thing I ever had to do. Not the quitting itself. I was delivered from that immediately. Navigating the devastation it left behind in my family was where I struggled. It was horrible for everyone involved. I am grateful for this new life…this healing I was given when I gave up and asked Jesus to take over. I will celebrate my Independence Day as January 6th…the day of my overdose. The day I stepped into the void and came out again. Let freedom ring! ❤
\n“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.”\n2 Corinthians 5:17 ESV\n \n", "date_published": "2018-06-24T01:30:46-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/06/24/let-freedom-ring.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Wisdom","Courage","Humbled","Presence","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/06/23/the-empty-nest.html", "title": "The Empty Nest", "content_html": "
![\"Empty](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/d038e4dcbb.jpg\")
“The empty nest can be painful, no matter which of you leaves first.”
“For I want you to know how great a struggle I have for you and for those at Laodicea and for all who have not seen me face to face, that their hearts may be encouraged, being knit together in love, to reach all the riches of full assurance of understanding and the knowledge of God's mystery, which is Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge. I say this in order that no one may delude you with plausible arguments. For though I am absent in body, yet I am with you in spirit, rejoicing to see your good order and the firmness of your faith in Christ.”\nColossians 2:1-5 ESV\nI got married young the first time. I was nineteen. I thought I knew everything! I was just about finished with x-ray training. Hubby #1 and I literally grew up together. Our families have known each other since long before we were born. The day after graduation, I hopped on a plane and flew to England to join him. He was stationed there in the Air Force. I had never been on a plane before. I cannot imagine what that must have been like for my mom. She still had my brother at home. He has a developmental disability and always lived at home with her, so she never did have that “empty nest”. But I know she missed me terribly and it had to have been so worrisome for her to have me so far away the very first time I left home.\n
My older daughter got married when she was twenty-one. It wasn’t too long after that when she and her new husband moved to Long Island. I thought THAT was way too far and it just about killed me. I was having trouble in my marriage. Her younger sister was only five years old. I hated having them so far away. I visited as often as I could, but it was a really hard time for both of us. We had always been very close. A half-empty nest is just as painful.
\nI’ve watched my friends go through letting their children go. When my younger daughter left home for college, it was a different story. First, I had had children at home for thirty-three years. I was in a new marriage and in a much happier space. And, she was only going to be a couple of hours away. It was an entirely different story when the nest emptied out completely.
\nBut what happens when it’s the opposite and it’s your MOM that pulls up roots and leaves? That’s what’s happening to one of my friends in my small group from church. She is young…younger than my Daughter #2. Her brother, her two sisters, her nephew, and her mom are moving several states away and she is left here. In addition to that, they are selling the only home she has ever known. Her nest is being taken away. That has to be really hard. You just never think of it happening like this. It’s usually the other way around.
\nI always made it a point to go visit my West Virginia family at least once a year. I took my kids with me so they could feel that bond of family. I never dreamed I would up and leave my Colorado family like I have. Colorado was never really the home of my heart. West Virginia is. I usually visit my family twice a year but Mr. FixIt’s surgery in December kept me here this past winter. The grandchildren have grown so much in the past year since I’ve seen them. It seems like a lifetime ago. And my girls have aged…as have I. I remember there was a stretch of time when Hubby #2 was in medical school that I didn’t see my mom for over two years. I never want to do that with my family! I can’t imagine. She had to have been so sad.
\nKeeping those family bonds alive is so important. I’ll be there in a couple of weeks and stay for three weeks. I can’t wait to see them! Do you live far from your family? Do you get to see them very often? How long do you get to visit? I’d love to hear the things you do that make your visits extra special. I am always looking for new ideas to create lasting memories! ❤
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-06-23T01:30:46-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/06/23/the-empty-nest.html", "tags": ["Family","Grief","West Virginia","Growth","Grace","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/06/17/drink-coffeepray-boldly.html", "title": "Drink Coffee...Pray Boldly", "content_html": "
![\"Prayer](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/5669701bad.jpg\")
“Pray BOLDLY at every opportunity…even at coffee with the girls.”
“If you don’t know what you’re doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You’ll get his help, and won’t be condescended to when you ask for it. Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought. People who “worry their prayers” are like wind-whipped waves. Don’t think you’re going to get anything from the Master that way, adrift at sea, keeping all your options open.”\nJames 1:5-8 MSG\nYesterday was coffee day with the girls...those magnificent ‘71 Divas from my high school class. We didn’t all know each other in high school. We really became most acquainted through Facebook and efforts to gather as many classmates as possible for class reunions, dinners, picnics, and the like. We are, all to often it seems, meeting at funeral homes anymore. I decided four years ago us gals need to get together and form a tribe...a sense of community of the feminine...when I came back to West Virginia to live. Now, we look at our monthly meetings as caffeine fueled talk therapy and I’ve seldom missed it.\n
There weren’t as many gals gathered yesterday. Illness, hospitalization, vacations, and general summer business kept many of our regulars away. There were also a few who came that don’t get to attend very often. It’s always a different group but the dynamic is the same. We are there to have fun, let our hair down, laugh a lot, and offer support to one another as we learn what’s new in each other’s lives.
\nMy friend Diane came and brought me one-third of my birthday present. She called the other day and wanted to meet up with me. We had a miscommunication and she ended up waiting for 45 minutes out at the farm and when it got too hot and I didn’t show up, she went home. She had to take my gifts with her…two-thirds of which were perishable. Yesterday, she gave me my card. Imagine my dismay when I learned of the flowers and chocolate covered strawberries she had brought me Wednesday! I felt so awful about that…she went to so much trouble. But, we laughed it off. She gave the flowers to a friend she had dinner with that night and ate the strawberries on the way home so all was not lost!
\nWhen the majority of the gals had left for the day, my friend Lisa and I sat and talked to one of our friends who hung behind. She confided that we looked like someone who could help her. She had a prayer request. We talked about it a while, offering advice and comfort. When she asked for prayers, Lisa (you remember her from a previous post a month or two ago) took our friend’s hand and said, “Well, let’s just pray now.” The three of us sat in a very public area of the historic hotel where we gather, held hands and prayed together. Boldly. Unashamed. As a matter of fact, I didn’t even think about it until later.
\nThere was a time in my life when I looked at people praying over their meal in a restaurant or holding hands together in public, praying, and I felt…I don’t know…uncomfortable, self-conscious, embarrassed for them? I was decidedly unenlightened in those days yet I thought I was SO evolved. In the last several years, I have become much bolder with prayer. There is no reason to feel ashamed or embarrassed to offer prayer anytime the Spirit moves you or you are asked. I was really happy to be able to pray with my friends. I always ask God to bring me more prayer opportunities and the bravery to carry them out. It is an honor and a privilege.
\nToday is Father’s Day. For some of you, it is the first without your loved one and the firsts are hard…and sometimes the third and the tenth and….. Please know that I will pray boldly for you today that you know God is with you to offer comfort and solace in your broken places. You are so loved! ❤
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-06-17T01:30:55-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/06/17/drink-coffeepray-boldly.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Prayer","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","God","Wisdom","Courage","Humbled","Presence","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/05/31/the-power-of-words.html", "title": "The Power of Words", "content_html": "
![\"Shhhhhhhh\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/286bc98eb3.jpg\")
“Shhhhhh…..”
Events of the last couple of years, and certainly the last week, have demonstrated the absolute destructive power of the spoken word. Caution…I am NOT discussing politics here nor specific individuals or what has been said. What I’m talking about is society’s shift toward having no filter whatsoever. My elderly aunt once said something to me that was downright mean-spirited. When she was done, I just looked at her calmly and said, “You know, that was very mean.” She said, “Yeah, well…it popped into my head so I figured I might as well say it!” Ok…she’s 84 with declining mental faculties. I can forgive that. But some of the things I hear these days makes me want to hold my hands over my ears and go screaming into the night.
\nYesterday, one of the news channels out of Denver that I still follow was airing a live video feed of a cow elk in labor and attempting to give birth. It was pretty boring, actually. I mean…how long can to sit and stare at a cow elk laying down, standing up, laying down, standing up, pushing, laying down…you get the picture. There was no “happy ending” coming anytime soon and there had already been sixteen hours of this. I soon bored of watching the elk who was desperately trying to become a mama and started reading the comments people were making.
\nI was appalled. What started out innocently enough, ie “Oh, no! Is the mama cow in trouble? This has been going on a long time!” to “You stupid ******* idiot, it’s an elk, not a cow!” to “Veal comes from a boy calf who gets ripped from his mama and kept in the dark and fed only milk.” to “YOU’RE the ******* cow, *****!” Holy cats! It took five minutes to go south. People seem to be of the opinion, like my elderly, slightly dotty aunt, that if it pops in your head, you might as well say it.
\nPeople who have seen great commercial success have seen their empires crumble for saying abhorrent things. Men have lost their careers and everything they have built because of things they said. I am NOT standing up for those men who are truly deserving of retribution and I totally think you need to be held accountable for the things that come out of your mouth. But, you have to ask yourself, what would keep a disgruntled employee or associate from claiming such abuse when the accused is actually innocent. You know it happens.
\nWhen is it ok to be a racist? The answer is…never. When is it ok to be anti Semitic? The answer is…never. When is it ok to be homophobic and denigrate someone on social media for their sexual preference? The answer is…never. Liberals, conservatives, gay, straight, black, white, and every shade in between…we’re all the same inside. We all bleed red and breathe oxygen. The thing is…I don’t think of it as being “politically correct.” I think of it as being a decent human being with good character. God tells us in the Bible that the tongue has incredible power. We can bring blessings or curses…life or death…light or darkness. All with a muscle the size of a small banana.
\nSuch power words have. Lifelong scars can happen in an instant. Broken promises. Little white lies. Great big lies. Gossip. Slander. Such damage that can be done without thinking. We see it over and over. You’d think they’d learn, wouldn’t you?
\nProverb 10:19 says…”Sin is not ended by multiplying words, but the prudent hold their tongues.” Proverbs 15:4 says “The soothing tongue is a tree of life, but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit.” Matthew 15:11 says…”What goes into someone’s mouth does not defile them, but what comes out of their mouth, that is what defiles them.” The Bible warns over and over and over to hold your tongue. Watch your words. I am as guilty as anyone for speaking before thinking…far too many times. But age and maturity and God’s grace is going far toward helping me keep a rein in on my tongue. And what I miss, God forgives me when I am truly repentant. I hope the next generation learns this. I hope they learn the delicate art of speaking gently. ❤
\n“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”\nEphesians 4:29 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-05-31T01:30:32-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/05/31/the-power-of-words.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","Growth","Grace","God","Peace","Wisdom","Anger","Courage","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/05/30/tread-lightly.html", "title": "Tread Lightly", "content_html": "
![\"Bison](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/547d40107a.jpg\")
“Bison in front of the Grand Tetons, Yellowstone National Park”
Oh, those Facebook memories. They used to slay me. I’d finally be feeling halfway like myself, to the point where I didn’t cry every d*** day, when one of those pages from the past would show up and rip my heart wide open again. I am pleased to say, it’s been a while since I’ve had that kind of reaction to something as unbidden as photos from a favorite vacation.
\nYesterday, just such a memory popped up. Mr. Virgo loved going to Yellowstone National Park and seeing the Grand Tetons. We went two or three times in the seven-and-a-half years we were together. He was quite the photographer and I am so happy I have so many of his beautiful photos. This was taken on our last vacation together. We did a float trip down the Snake River that year. We spent a week exploring. We saw grizzlies, eagles, bison, deer, elk, owls, coyotes, antelope…it was amazing.
\nYesterday was a good day. Mr. FixIt and I worked hard…it was mowing day. We have lots of rain forecast in the next few days so we needed to get that done. It was hot, but we stayed in the AC during the worst of it in the afternoon and headed back out just as the sun started to head over the wooded ridge beyond the far field. When we were done, we enjoyed a refreshing couple of hours in the pool. When I settled in to write my post, this photo showed up. The more time that passes since Mr. Virgo’s death, the wider the chasm between then and now becomes.
\nGrief is so weird. Sometimes things that you THINK would upset you are nothing. Other times, the smallest thing can trip you up and send you down the tubes. This was a good day. This was a good memory, a good vacation. This was a good marriage, a good man, a good friend, a good life. And yesterday was a good day, a good memory, with a good man, a good friend, and a good life. The difference is time and perspective. It’s a new life. A different life. A good life. A fun life.
\nYes…grief is weird. ❤
\n“The Lord makes firm the steps of the one who delights in him; though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with his hand.”\nPsalm 37:23-24 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-05-30T01:30:40-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/05/30/tread-lightly.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Grief","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Courage","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/05/19/sssssnake.html", "title": "S-s-s-s-snake!", "content_html": "
![\"Baby](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/815bc8b7f0.jpg\")
“Baby Water Snake”
The first time I remember holding a snake was back-to-school night in seventh grade. Mom walked into the science lab and I went straight for the aquarium that held a tiny blue racer. Much to my mother’s horror, I picked up the wiggly little critter and let it slither around my fingers and hands. I laughed at my mom’s squeals of horror as I held the snake closer so she could see. Poor mom. I deviled the heck out of her at every opportunity, I’m afraid.
\nSnakes have never bothered me, really. I don’t particularly like being startled by them, but if I know they’re there, and I’m assured they are not poisonous, I have no real problem with them. I remember going to my cousin’s girls’ band concert once. As I drove into the parking lot there were several women standing around, bouncing from leg to leg and screaming. I parked and came over to see what was going on. There was a huge black snake between them and the school. I reached down, picked it up by the tail and carried it over to the edge of the woods. The screamers looked at me sideways as though I were some sort of witch to be steered clear of.
\nGrandma always taught me to carry a hoe with me to kill snakes in the garden or when wandering around the farm. When Hubby #2 and I went on a twenty mile backpack trip up Spruce Knob back in the late ‘70s, she loaned us two hoes to carry with us as we hiked so we would not only have something to kill any errant timber rattler, but also have a hiking stick. I’d love to know what the other hikers on the trail thought of these two greenhorns with the hoes and the WAY overpacked backpacks. I think Grandma laughed for a month at our expense.
\nIt’s always fun when the naturalist shows up at the campground to give a little nature lesson to the Girl Campers. Yesterday, Mike showed up with a baby water snake he had found during the stream stomp earlier in the day. He also was helpful in identifying a particular beetle that is detrimental to the trees in the area. It needs to be reported so the woods can be monitored. A tree fell across the road during the night and had to be removed early yesterday morning. Later in the day, the maintenance crew came in and cleared the ditches along the road and removed another dead tree that was in danger of falling across the road.
\nMr. FixIt arrives today…can’t wait to see him! The girls are all looking forward to his arrival, as well. He’s a favorite around here. ❤
\n“On the glorious splendor of your majesty, and on your wondrous works, I will meditate.”\nPsalms 145:5 ESV
\n", "date_published": "2018-05-19T01:30:19-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/05/19/sssssnake.html", "tags": ["Travel","Positive Energy","TOW-Wanda!","Fun","Growth","goRVing","Courage","Presence","Girl Camper","Girl Campers"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/05/13/still-praying-together.html", "title": "Still Praying Together", "content_html": "![\"Good](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/391faf0dc2.jpg\")
“My good friend, Lisa and me.”
It was the fall of 1960 when I met Lisa. We were in second grade together in Mrs. Alexander’s room. It depends who you talk to. Some say Mrs. Alexander was a sweetheart. Others…not so much. She seemed to have one student every year that was on her black list. Nothing you could do would please her if you were on her dark side…and that is the unenviable position I found myself in during second grade.
\nShe made me nervous. And when I get nervous, I can’t eat. Every day I would try to eat my lunch because every day she saved my lunch tray to show my mom that I wasn’t eating. I always felt like I was in trouble. Mom took me to the doctor and he gave me a “tonic” that I took a spoonful of every day. Together, they decided Mom should pack my lunch. Maybe it was just the school food I didn’t like. But that wasn’t it. Even when I had my favorite foods in my cute little plaid lunch box, I just could not eat.
\nOne day, before lunch, I was standing in line to wash my hands in the bathroom. My stomach was churning and I knew I was going to have trouble eating. I was praying under my breath, when the little girl in front of me turned around and looked me straight in the eye. It was Lisa.
\n“Are you praying?” she asked.
\nI silently nodded my head and cast my eyes downward…ashamed to be in such a dire circumstance.
\n“What are you praying about?”
\n“Mrs. Alexander scares me and I can’t eat. Every day I get in trouble because I don’t eat my lunch. She even took me to the office and the Principal spanked me!” My words tumbled over each other as I confessed my self-perceived weakness.
\n“Well, here…I’ll pray with you.” Lisa wrapped her arm around my shoulder and hugged me close and we both prayed that I could eat again and that Mrs. Alexander would leave me alone.
\nI was stunned by her kindness. I was relieved beyond words. Someone cared. Someone understood me. Someone wanted to help me. And…it was a little girl I didn’t know. I instantly loved her.
\nAmazingly, that is the last time I remember the whole lunch fiasco. I don’t remember if my appetite returned, but I do know we moved shortly after that and I started attending a new school. I never had to deal with Mrs. Alexander again.
\nLisa and I attended high school together but we didn’t cross paths. We had a huge class and circles sometimes stuck to who you went to junior high with. However, several years later, I ran into Lisa at a high school reunion. She is an associate pastor now. I asked her if she remembered praying with me in the restroom before lunch that autumn day so long ago. But, alas…she did not. You see, Lisa was struck by a car as she crossed the street several years ago and very nearly died of her injuries. It left her with some long term memory loss. She was happy to know she helped me though, and we have become good friends.
\nLisa recently suffered a heart attack and we were absolutely thrilled when she came to coffee yesterday with the ‘71 Divas. She looks wonderful, healthy, strong. I couldn’t stop hugging her. She asked how Mr. FixIt was. She went all through school with him. Last year, when she found out we were dating, she literally jumped up out of her chair and threw her hands in the air and praised Jesus.
\n“If there were anyone in the whole wide world I would want the two of you to have, it would be each other. This is PERFECT!” I couldn’t help but laugh and clap along with her exuberance. Lisa is wonderful. She is a straight shooter. She has seen her share of hardships in this life and has come out a loving, giving, God-centric woman and I love her dearly. I just wanted to share her with you today.
\nSending you love and light and prayers for continued good health, my friend. ❤
\n“Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them."”\nMatthew 18:19-20 ESV
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-05-13T01:30:50-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/05/13/still-praying-together.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Fun","West Virginia","Gratitude","Grace","God","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/05/11/keep-walking.html", "title": "Keep Walking", "content_html": "
![\"Encouragement](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/008b3d5e59.jpg\")
“Keep walking, dear one.”
I have several people in my life who are walking a challenging path right now. From my cousin with mesothelioma to a friend’s first grandchild being born with physical challenges. From my friend who is selling the home she and her late husband raised their family in to the beautiful women in my small group from church who are facing some pretty big things right now. There are new widows and new moms and new grandmas out there who need extra love and support today. To all of you who are facing challenges…let me say this.
\nYou are beautiful.
\nYou are stronger than you think.
\nYou are loved.
\nYou are being prayed for.
\nNo matter how difficult and challenging life becomes…
\nStand up.
\nKeep walking.
\nKeep moving forward.
\nYou are worthy.
\nYou are enough.
\nYou are a Child of God.
\nIt’s ok to cry.
\nIt’s ok to not be ok.
\nJust hang in there…things will get better. Maybe not right away…but they will get better.
\nI love you.
\n❤️
\n“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”\nEphesians 4:29 ESV
\n#encouragement, #BuildingUp, #love
\n", "date_published": "2018-05-11T01:30:52-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/05/11/keep-walking.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","Growth","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/05/08/my-favorite-wildflower.html", "title": "My Favorite Wildflower", "content_html": "![\"Trillium\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/0ac352b8f4.jpg\")
“Trillium - My Favorite Wildflower”This is by far my favorite time of the year here in West Virginia. The world is coming back to life after a long, dull-grey winter with a vibrant spring-green not easily duplicated. The temps have dropped quite a bit from last week’s. I took the electric blanket off the bed last week when the night time temperatures weren’t going below the low 70’s. So, last night I had to dig around in the guest bedroom for something extra to throw on the bed. I came across an old “Bow Tie” quilt I bought at an antique store years ago. Some of the fabrics have become quite fragile, but these things are meant to be uses as far as I’m concerned. I love old quilts. I can always figure out a way to justify the expense.
\nThe other day, I was out cleaning up the camper preparing for the upcoming travel season. Remember how I told you Mr. Virgo sends me birds? Well, I came out the door to empty the dustpan and here was this little guy sitting there watching me. He didn’t seem afraid at all. I spoke to him gently and he stayed for a while then was gone. I didn’t see him coming or going. It was odd.
\nI spent much of the day yesterday helping my friend Deneene begin the daunting task of downsizing and preparing to sell her house. It really brought up a lot of memories for me. Seems like forever ago. I came home and helped Mr. FixIt mow the Ponderosa. Then we grilled steaks for dinner. I added creamed new potatoes with peas, sliced tomatoes, and collard greens with peppered bacon, Vidalia Onions, and a splash of cider vinegar. It was a great day!
\nI saw this little story on the Sisters on the Fly Facebook page yesterday. At some of our events, we hold a little “garage sale” by our tents and donate the proceeds to a charity, usually chosen by the event hostess. It seems this happened recently and a Sister brought a bagful of yarn and a half finished potholder. She explained to a lady looking over her wares that the yarn had belonged to her mother and she doesn’t crochet. The Sister bought the whole bag of yarn. Yesterday, she received a lovely note in the mail from her….with several finished potholders. The note read, “Now you can think of your mother. I hope you enjoy them!” I literally cried…what a sweet and loving gesture. This is why I love my girl camping friends. They have big hearts! ❤
\n“For God is not unjust so as to overlook your work and the love that you have shown for his name in serving the saints, as you still do.”\nHebrews 6:10 ESV
\n", "date_published": "2018-05-08T01:30:07-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/05/08/my-favorite-wildflower.html", "tags": ["West Virginia","The Farm","Courage","Downsizing"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/05/01/god-at-work.html", "title": "God at Work", "content_html": "![\"Power](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/5c0fa7fef9.jpg\")
“A power washer in use.”
It never ceases to amaze me at how God works in my life. He has His hand in every area of my life and I can prove it.
\nFirst…I had a little medical issue come up. Something we’ve been watching for a while and now it’s to the point of having to investigate further. When I first heart that news, I must admit, a flutter of fear went through me. That was the day “Betty” wrote to me and instructed me to WALK STRONG. To profess Victory over my circumstances because the enemy wiggles in when we profess fear, anger, anxiety. Ever since that moment, I declared there was nothing wrong with me. I gave it to God. Then Sunday night I went to Revival and had Pastor Matt and the folks gathered to pray over me and anoint my head with oil. He declared that I would go to the doctor and everything was going to be benign, that the tumors would even shrivel up.
\nI’ve read about faith healing before. I’ve heard the stories. I’ve seen charlatans take advantage of people and take their money. But, I’ve known Pastor Matt for a year now and I’ve come to know him as an honest, trustworthy young man and he has never steered me wrong. Yesterday, I went to the surgeon and he looked over everything and said there is only one tumor now and he is 99% sure it’s benign, but we’re going to biopsy it to be certain. Did the anointing change things? Did the prayer? Did my positive attitude and declaration change the course? Or, was the radiologist wrong? Or the family doctor? That is for you to decide. I will tell you this…I am a scientist and I would never ignore a lump in my breast and just pray it away. But the evidence is there…one of the lumps was clearly gone. And the other most assuredly benign. I’ll be happy to have that biopsy and hear that it is benign and all is well. Because, I serve a mighty God.
\nIt’s not just big things like health that God delivers either. Just the other day, I asked Mr. FixIt if he had a power washer. He said yes, but someone had borrowed it and it never worked right since. He thought he would have to take it apart and try to find parts for it in order to make it work. I would really love to power wash the deck around the pool this summer and water seal it, but power washers are expensive. I figured we’d just have to wait another year. In my prayers, I always thank God for His provision of everything I need. Yesterday afternoon, we went to Aldi’s to buy groceries and there…in a GROCERY store…sat a stack of power washers for $149.99!!! Mr. FixIt and I just dropped our jaws and looked at each other. I smiled and said, “The Lord always provides for us, sweetheart. Get another cart!”
\nI love these stories. I love how these things just happen…over and over and over. It bolsters my faith and keeps me coming back for more. It emboldens me to share with you how absolutely cool God is. There was a time in my writing when I would shy away from ever speaking to you about such things for fear of alienating people. And every time I write these stories, two or three people stop following me. That’s ok…I’m not about the numbers that leave. I’m about the numbers that come. The ones who are led to the page for reasons they can’t even comprehend. Because that’s how God works. He leads us. He taps us on the shoulder. He whispers in our ears. It brings me great joy to listen and be obedient.
\nHappy May Day, dear ones! ❤
\n“And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.”\nPhilippians 4:19 ESV
\n", "date_published": "2018-05-01T01:30:21-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/05/01/god-at-work.html", "tags": ["Faith","God","Courage","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/04/25/rough-waters.html", "title": "Rough Waters", "content_html": "![\"Stormy](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/55764db81b.jpg\")
“Stormy Seas”
I can hear the surf through the open window of the condo. It rained all day yesterday with a pretty strong wind coming in off the ocean which raised the surf to choppy white-capped waves. We didn’t let the steady rain keep us indoors, though. Mr. FixIt cooked a big breakfast and we headed out to explore the many antique shops on the island. I got some really great ideas for decorating the ‘67 Franklin. I hope to get started on it soon, although I am not sure I can get it done for camping this season.
\nThe Outer Banks (OBX for short) is a long string of islands off the coast of North Carolina. We are up north in a little town called Duck. It isn’t very commercial here which is what I love about it. There are small restaurants and little shops. Everything is open already, preparing for the onslaught of the summer crowds. Shops are fully stocked and the staff are fresh and friendly. It’s easy to spend time chatting with a shop owner. I went into a yarn shop yesterday and bought some yarn to knit a couple pairs of socks for Christmas presents. I haven’t done much more than writing for so long…I am longing to be creative and make something with my hands. Although, making the time to do that will be a challenge for me. I am thinking I might be able to knit while we are driving home Saturday.
\nOur trip is half over already…where does the time go??? I’m thinking we’ll go see the wild horses up north today. Maybe visit a lighthouse. I love just kicking back and doing whatever we want, whenever we want. Because, when we get home…there’s work to be done. And LOTS of it! ❤
\n“The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.”\nPsalm 23:1-6 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2018-04-25T01:30:33-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/04/25/rough-waters.html", "tags": ["Travel","Grief","Growth","Peace","Courage","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/04/20/no-apologies.html", "title": "No Apologies", "content_html": "![\"Unplug\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/448119a74b.jpg\")
“It’s ok to unplug.”
What happens when you have to “dig in and go dark?” When you have the diagnosis, you’ve gone through the years of treatments, nothing else is working, so your spouse makes the decision you have dreaded from the beginning…no more? That was the question posed to me. It’s different for everyone and I don’t know for sure…I haven’t suffered this particular hell. But, my answer was this. Do what you need to do and don’t apologize for it.
\nFacebook has become a simplified way to let more distant family and friends know what’s going on during illness and the dying process. It tends to keep people from having to write the same story over and over. I suggested being honest. Tell them where you are in the decision process, explain you’re entering new territory with many unknowns that you’ll be learning to deal with as you go, and now…while you love each and every one and you covet their prayers…you have to unplug. Designate someone to let the closest people know what’s going on if you can’t do it.
\nYou don’t owe the world an explanation. I understand there will be those who feel left out or put out, but your time is best spent in communion with your loved one. You will have many demands on your time. Trying to update everyone on social media shouldn’t be one of them if it overwhelms you. From the other side of the coin, understand there’s a lot going on in a family whose loved one is dying and as much as you would like to know what’s going on, giving a family space and your prayers are the two best things you can do if you aren’t in the “inner circle.“
\nMany of you have shared your experiences of going through this kind of loss. What kind of advice would you give to someone heading into the last part of the process? What helped you the most? What did you really need from people? How did you handle communications?
\nRemember, when you’ve gone through loss and you’re functioning better and moving forward, don’t forget to turn back around and offer your hand to those coming up behind you on the same journey. Insight…it is one of the gems in the flame. ❤
\n“…a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;”\nEcclesiastes 3:7 ESV
\n", "date_published": "2018-04-20T01:30:14-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/04/20/no-apologies.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Fear","Courage","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/04/19/start-the-conversation.html", "title": "Start the Conversation", "content_html": "![\"Strawberry\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/8e9455d90f.jpg\")
“Big strawberry...big topic.”Death is largely swept under the rug in our society. We don’t want to talk about it. Too sad. Too scary. Too icky. We will plan the heck out of a surprise birthday party but leave our death up to our spouse or kids to clean up after. It’s like the baby that covers his eyes and thinks you can’t see him. You aren’t fooling anyone. We’re all going to die. Why not do it on our own terms?
\nI was deeply moved by our former First Lady, Barbara Bush’s final decision. She’d been battling COPD and had endured numerous hospitalizations when she finally decided she didn’t want any more. It was ok. She’d made peace. I’m sure she’d made arrangements. She said, “No, I’m done.” She sat up in bed and laughed and drank good bourbon and surrounded herself with love. What grace.
\nI’ve been hearing stories about my friend Fred who died this week. He had made a special point to visit and call people as he prepared for his own transition.
\nMr. FixIt and I arrived at my cousin’s house yesterday afternoon. We had a family dinner and laughed and told stories and then we talked about his decision to stop therapy for his mesothelioma. The prognosis is he’ll survive another six months. That’s two years longer than we first expected to have and we’ve been so grateful that the last two years have been so wonderful. We don’t want him to leave us. There will be a hole in our hearts. AND, we accept his decision. His wonderful family will support him and walk him home.
\nI am providing my cousin’s wife with resources and phone calls and support and lots of love. I’m so happy to hear they’ve been having all the conversations they need to have. They done all the planning and the financial decisions. They’ve talked about their feelings. He’s made the decision to donate his body for research on mesothelioma. I am so encouraged by their ability to approach this with a steadfast love and respect.
\nStarting the conversation isn’t easy but so important. It’s a gift you can give those who are left behind. ❤
\nwww.deathbydesign.com/buy-bridg…
\n“Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.”\nProverbs 11:14 ESV
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-04-19T01:30:45-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/04/19/start-the-conversation.html", "tags": ["Faith","Comfort","Courage","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/04/17/faith-or-fear.html", "title": "Faith or Fear?", "content_html": "
![\"Hands\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/967806633e.jpg\")
“Faith or Fear?”
I love my readers. And I love how God uses them to teach me things. “Betty” (not her real name) sent me a message yesterday morning. She found a little typo and wanted to let me know. Everyone knows I’m a stickler for good grammar and I have a few who help me catch things when they slip through. She always signs off with “WALK STRONG.” I wrote back that I was trying, but I have a few things I’m facing in the coming weeks that I could use some extra prayers for. Immediately, “Betty” came back with a valuable reminder.
\nGod is omnipresent…He is everywhere and all powerful. The enemy is not. Our pastor says he is so small, he is under our boot. So he waits. And he listens. He finds weakness and exploits it. When we speak out loud and voice our fear or anger or doubt, he pounces on that and attacks us through our thoughts. So, we have to be careful about the words we confess…over ourselves, our circumstances, each other. “Betty” reminded me in order to defeat the enemy, we have to beat him at his own game and confess positive, Victory, light…all of which are God’s characteristics. She went on to say you have lay your burdens down at the foot of the cross and walk away. Ohhhhh…that is not an easy thing to do!
\n“Betty” says…you can have Faith, or you can have fear. You can’t have both…you have to choose. I took that into my situation yesterday. I drove to town professing light, strength, courage, Victory. I laid everything down and walked away and was filled with an incredible sense of peace. “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy…” John 10:10 When you open yourself by confessing fears, you open the door and let the enemy in. “WALK STRONG!” I love that!
\nDivine appointments. God makes appointments with us every day. He sends the Holy Spirit to counsel us. In this case, He sent “Betty” with word of a typo that turned into a valuable lesson of Faith for me. It literally changed my day. It doesn’t work if you don’t listen. And it doesn’t work if you don’t obey. This life gig is pretty cool if you think about it. We have this incredible supernatural Father that loves us, craves interaction with us, sends a Spirit to coach us and teach us and, dare I say, scold us when we need it. And all we have to do is trust, and believe, and listen, and follow directions. Amazing!
\nWho is your “Betty” today? ❤
\n“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”\nJohn 10:10 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-04-17T01:30:12-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/04/17/faith-or-fear.html", "tags": ["Faith","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","God","Peace","Fear","Courage","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/04/16/back-to-square-one.html", "title": "Back to Square One", "content_html": "
![\"Breakfast](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/0dbb8d56bc.jpg\")
“Back to Square One”
I need to exercise more! After sitting on my hiney all winter long writing and working on my website, I went out Friday and Saturday and worked in the yard. As I began my two hour excursion on the riding mower, the word “sunscreen” flitted through my mind like a feather on the wind and was gone just as quickly. After all, I had a broad brimmed hat on…what could go wrong? Ohhhh…I paid for that Saturday night. I couldn’t find anything in the house to put on my sunburned arms and shoulders and felt too miserable to even think about looking up home remedies on the internet. Then yesterday morning I tried to get out of bed and discovered muscles I’d forgotten I had. The word grumpy comes to mind. I turned over and went back to sleep and ended up missing morning services.
\nI looked in the mirror the other day and realized all that hard work I did climbing all those stairs a couple years ago is long gone. Hard muscles have been replaced with something between cottage cheese and pizza dough. My stamina is decreased, I get sick easier, and I’m turning sixty-five in two months. This simply will not do! I told Mr. FixIt we have to get back in gear this spring. Fortunately, he’s a good eater and loves to exercise so I have a partner to motivate me.
\nWe will be heading to the Outer Banks this week. The bikes are coming with us this time. I anticipate lots of long walks on the beach and bike rides in the evenings. The weather will be cool but hopefully the rain will stay away for the most part. If not, there is an exercise room at the condo complex. We have a full kitchen in our place so we can eat well and stay out of expensive, fattening restaurants. It will be nice to get away and sit by the ocean for a while. We have visits with family coming up as well on this trip so we’re really looking forward to the break. ❤
\n“This is what the Lord says, he who appoints the sun to shine by day, who decrees the moon and stars to shine by night, who stirs up the sea so that its waves roar— the Lord Almighty is his name:”\nJeremiah 31:35 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2018-04-16T01:30:17-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/04/16/back-to-square-one.html", "tags": ["Travel","Positive Energy","Fun","Growth","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Change","Monday Morning Motivation"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/04/05/standing-on-the-edge.html", "title": "Standing on the Edge", "content_html": "![\"Holding](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/952bc54cfb.jpg\")
“The Sweetest Love”
Ever since I changed my Twitter handle to @GriefMaven, I’ve been meeting the coolest people in the grief support community. I have had more interaction and made more connections in the last month than I did in all of the five years prior. I have to admit, I didn’t really “get” Twitter. You send some random thought out, you throw a few hashtags with it in the hopes someone else is interested in said hashtagged subjects, then they like your Tweet. Maybe you get the cherished “Retweet” where they like it so much, they send it on. Or…the Holy Grail of Tweetdom…they FOLLOW you! They like you enough to watch what you’ll say next. I get it now. You can truly build a community in Twitter and I must say I am enjoying it tremendously. It’s an excellent platform to build each other up.
\nIn the process of tweeting and retweeting, I find writers I may not have found otherwise. Such is the case of Catherine Tidd. She wrote a guest post on Hello Grief (hellogrief.org) about dating. The horse has already left the barn for me, but some of you may be thinking about dating again. If so, I couldn’t have written a better article about it that Catherine did with “Time to Cast the Line”. (I’ll leave the link at the bottom of this post.)
\nEver since I started dating Mr. FixIt, there has been this deep “feeling” I haven’t been able to express. It flits to the surface on occasion and I stuff it back down because people might not understand. Heck…even I don’t understand. So I stuff it back down, feeling like I should be celebrating something but can’t let myself. Catherine’s article articulates what I’ve been feeling so well, so I’ll just share it here. And then we’ll discuss it.
\nThis is the best relationship I have ever been in.
\nThere. I’ve said it. It’s the best, really. It’s deeper. It’s broader. It’s lighter. It’s easier. It’s filled with love and laughter and light and God. I was so afraid admitting this would somehow be disrespectful of what I had before. So, what does that mean about my marriage? My relationship with Mr. Virgo? Our life and love?
\nAbsolutely. Nothing.
\nYou know why? Because I’m not the same woman Mr. Virgo married. I’m not the same woman that lived with him. I’m not the same woman that loved him. I’m so much more now…BECAUSE I had him. BECAUSE I was married to him. BECAUSE I loved him. And…BECAUSE he died. I hate when people tell you everything happens for a reason. My friend, Debbie Weiss (@thehungoverwidow) says she hates when someone says everything happens for a reason, as if her husband’s death was necessary to stave off a plague of frogs. (Read her…she’s funny!)
\nI didn’t have to lose Mr. Virgo to gain some sort of amazing insight into my existence. I didn’t have to lose him to achieve a grand level of personal growth. But…those things happened, and I’m a different person than I was before. (Remember my pickle/cucumber analogy?) Like Catherine says in her article…who knows if Mr. Virgo would even LIKE who I am now? I’m stronger and much more outspoken. I’m a hundred times more independent. When I want to pick up and go…I go. He told me from the outset that he didn’t date women who wanted to pick up and go. He wanted someone who would be there with him. So…I was there. I don’t regret it. Not for a minute. But I’m not that same person. And, fortunately, Mr. FixIt knows that and understands me.
\nI could never find another man like Mr. Virgo. And if I did, maybe it wouldn’t work for me in this incarnation of myself. Does that mean I don’t still love him. Of course not. Does it mean I’ve “gotten over him?” Oh, h*** no! You don’t ever “get over” someone you loved with the white hot heat of the sun. But the sun is shining again. And…the sun shines bright now because I longed for the sun…I was so ready for the sun…I will cherish every moment I can get in the sun.
\nIt’s ok if you don’t ever want to date again. I am behind you 100%. Some people are just happy as little clams to not be bothered. Good for you! You know yourself and that is awesome. But, if you feel…even a little bit…that you miss the companionship of another, the warmth of another, the humor of another….don’t be afraid. There are good men out there. There really are. Mr. FixIt is proof of that. This is the best…really. ❤️
\n\n“And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us.”\n1 John 4:16-19 NIV
\n#love, #MovingForward, #relationships
\n", "date_published": "2018-04-05T01:30:48-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/04/05/standing-on-the-edge.html", "tags": ["Faith","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Change","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/11/17/on-being-passionate.html", "title": "On Being Passionate", "content_html": "![\"Albert](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/e5f2d1c568.jpg\")
“A word from the wise.”
It’s been a little over a week since the election. I don’t know about you…but I felt emotionally and physically exhausted after being subjected to such derision and anger on a daily basis. I, quite literally, was numb from the whole process and escaped through a cleaning frenzy the likes of which this house has not seen in years. And that’s from a woman who never watched TV throughout the entire campaign. I jumped on the Peace Train. I prayed and wrote and meditated and tried to wrap my head around the whole thing. Who I voted for doesn’t matter as much as the fact that I voted…there’s problems from both sides. I ride in the neutral zone here on The Ranch because politics raises passions and I respect you all…regardless of politics.
\nOne SHOULD be passionate about one’s beliefs. This election highlighted how divided we are as a nation. While I preach a message of peace, that doesn’t mean I should shirk my duties as a concerned, active citizen. I should learn everything there is to know about the issues that effect the world today. And…I can do that without hurting anyone. It is my responsibility to be a contributing member of society and research legislation so I can make informed choices in the polling booth.
\nThis isn’t easy for me. Conflict makes me extremely uncomfortable…being the child of an alcoholic can make it very difficult to be around verbal disagreements. However, I can still suit up and show up without entering into the fray. I can be passionate about being the change I want to see in the world. I don’t have to advertise my position in order to affect change. I can help…and I can do it from a place of love. ❤️
\n“Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” Proverbs 19:21 NIV\n", "date_published": "2016-11-17T02:30:33-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/11/17/on-being-passionate.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Comfort","Peace","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Presence","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/11/16/the-list.html", "title": "The List", "content_html": "
![\"Ohio](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/fe13d6356f.jpg\")
“Digital painting of the Ohio River at sunset.”
I still suffer from “grief brain” to some extent. Or maybe it’s just the natural progression of aging. Or a combination of the two. I don’t know. What I DO know is, I have a whole list of things in my head at night when I lay down. I think of a dozen things I should have done during the day. And a dozen more that come to mind as my brain notices I want to go to sleep so it pops up and says “Here’s twenty-four things to remember in the morning. No fair getting up and writing it down!” So, it takes forever to go to sleep and…I wake up knowing there were twenty-four things and I remember, like…two. SO frustrating!
\nI thought I was done with lists when I quit working and things got done at my leisure. Then Mr. Virgo died. My brain felt like I dropped a hair dryer in the bathtub while I was in it. I couldn’t remember anything to save my soul. It has gotten much, much better…but I think I will always have this lingering need to make lists now. And maybe write down where I park my car…and put my keys, etc. Now, I have to write lists, set alarms, send myself texts. If not, things get missed.
\nThe thing about lists now that I’m living 45 minutes from town is, I don’t shop as frequently so the lists get really long. And I end up spending all day running around from place to place. That was my day yesterday. I ended the day on a bright note, however. I met a friend for dinner and took time to watch the sunset over the beautiful Ohio River. And still, the moon is super. Thirteen deer on the road coming home last night. Today is trash day…and the beat goes on. ❤️
\n“The whole earth is filled with awe at your wonders; where morning dawns, where evening fades, you call forth songs of joy.”\n\n", "date_published": "2016-11-16T02:30:53-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/11/16/the-list.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","West Virginia","The Farm","Growth","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/11/10/the-eagle-and-the-owl.html", "title": "The Eagle and The Owl", "content_html": "\nPsalm 65:8 NIV
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/239766f0a8.jpg\")
I have a friend who is going through a rough patch. A love has ended and she is going through the pain that brings. She is also a widow. We have never met in person, yet we are friends...sisters...on a \"soular\" level. As a matter of fact, we have only spoken on the phone once in the two years we've \"known\" each other. I've wanted it that way because it keeps the relationship pure...just two souls touching in the ether. Someday we will sit together in person.
\n\n\nIn one of our recent conversations, I explained there are many loves that come into our lives. Loves that hold different roles. Loves that come. And loves that go. One of the loves we get sometimes comes in the form of \"The Healer\". Mr. Virgo was my healer. He held my heart and my hands while I poured out the pain and heartbreak that came with the ending of my second marriage. And he healed me. He touched my heart and soul. He listened. He held me close. It was what he was put here to do. My healer died. In my friend's case, her healer moved on.
\n\n\nThings work really great in your relationship with The Healer....until such time as you actually heal. That's when they sense it's time to move on. Their purpose has been fulfilled and they disengage and look for the next place to plug in. They will do this over and over and over until either they become enlightened, or they die. Then they get to do it all over again in the next life, if you believe in the recycling of souls. As difficult as it is to go through the pain of the leaving, it is an outward sign of YOUR personal growth...not his failure to provide for you, but the success of his purpose here. She said, \"Now I'm healing from HIM! Is there no end?\" To which I answered, \"Yes...when your heart sees the gifts he gave you and they outweigh the pain his leaving caused. That is a matter of perspective, insight, time, and choice.\"
\n\n\nMy friend asked, \"When did you get so wise?\" Well, it is something that has been growing in me since I came out of the wilderness after I lost Mr. Virgo. I feel it. It's alive and growing...this connection with the Holy Spirit, I call it. It is almost, but not quite, separate from my \"self\". I can tap into that energy and come up with wisdom and knowledge that isn't from \"me\". If that makes any sense.
\n\n\nI have become a crone. Not in the wizened, ugly old woman sense. But in the gaining of wisdom and experience that is a combination of faith, time, and meditation on the mysticism of the Holy Spirit. That part of God that is gifted to us when we dedicate our lives to a connection with Him. I am open to all the possibilities of God. This has been the most amazing part of my life's journey...to know exactly, with 100% certainty, what my purpose in life is. What I've been put here to do. That is the gift I was given in the wilderness and it has continued to grow and mature within me. It is pure love. It resonates with the universe, this connection with God...like touching tuning forks together. One gives its vibration to the other and they both sing. It is very real...this vibration. I can feel it. Or rather, I notice its absence when I am not on my path.
\n\n\nMany years ago, I sat with a Shaman...a Native American wise man. We were visiting and he stopped, cocked his head and said, \"Tell me about the dream you had last night.\" Shivers went up my arms and the hair stood up on the back of my neck because...indeed...I had had a powerful dream just the night before. I told him I was standing naked in a field of wheat, under a full moon...the late summer wind warm on my skin. On my outstretched right arm perched an eagle. I raised my arm and the eagle soared higher and higher till it arced across the moon in silhouette. When it came back down to me, I stretched out my left arm and the eagle turned into a great snowy owl. It landed on my arm. I could feel his weight, his talons digging into my arm...not with pain, but with pressure.
\n\n\nMy Shaman friend leaned back with a serious look on his face. \"There is a powerful gift coming to you...a wisdom wide and deep that you will use to bring peace and love into the world. But this power frightens you. You will fight it. You will wrestle with it and it will very nearly kill you. But in your deepest, darkest times, that power and wisdom will lift you up, higher and higher until you stand where you are meant to stand...you will do what you are meant to do. This is your purpose. This is why you are here. Do not be afraid of the struggle or the pain. The gift is coming.\" Everything he said to me came true. I fought...I nearly died. I turned away. But when I walked into the wilderness without fear...when I had lost everything with the loss of Mr. Virgo, and I shed my pain...the gift has come. The gift of knowing....knowing exactly what I was put here on earth to do. And the strength to do it.
\n\n\nMy gift is not my own. It is God...working through me because I open myself to be the vessel. The instrument of His peace. I am blessed beyond belief to have the opportunities He gives me and I don't pretend to understand how it happened. But I am grateful and will do my best to be worthy.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2016-11-10T02:30:16-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/11/10/the-eagle-and-the-owl.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Growth","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/10/25/home.html", "title": "Home", "content_html": "\n““I have much more to say to you, more than you can now bear. But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all the truth. He will not speak on his own; he will speak only what he hears, and he will tell you what is yet to come. He will glorify me because it is from me that he will receive what he will make known to you. All that belongs to the Father is mine. That is why I said the Spirit will receive from me what he will make known to you.””
\nJohn 16:12-15 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/36c48bd5e6.jpg\")
It was dark when I drove up the long driveway to the farmhouse the other night. I couldn't pull into my parking spot because there are low hanging electric lines crossing the driveway. A friend came out yesterday to hold the lines up so I could drive under. I mentioned that I needed to winterize the camper but hadn't done it by myself before. I don't know why, but there are certain things that really intimidate me. Programming a VCR. Hooking up a sound system. Winterizing a camper. They all seem terribly complicated which is ridiculous. I have done jobs a lot tougher than that. My friend has had campers for years and assured me I could do it. Step by step, I walked through it...easy peasy. I felt proud of the accomplishment.
\n\n\nIt wasn't really all that long ago when I didn't know thing one about a camper. Now, I can hook up and unhook, back into the tightest of spots, troubleshoot many issues, change the batteries and gas tanks, check and fill the tires, and now...winterize. I ran electric to her so I can nap and write in my little sanctuary. The only thing left is to empty and clean the pantry. I still might take off and head south sometime this winter for a break...who knows? I do like to go someplace warm and sunny in February!
\n\n\nI was around a lot of people on this trip. Coming home accentuated my \"aloneness\". I usually adjust quickly but last night just felt lonesome so I rolled with it. I let my mind wander wherever it took me, eventually settling on Mr. Virgo. The only way I can describe my feelings for him now is \"the evolution of love\". A love interrupted. A forever love. But, my love for him no longer consumes every waking moment of my life. For the longest time, I clung to every shred of feeling I had for him for fear that if I let go of even one thread, the whole \"fabric\" of his memory would unravel...that I would lose him completely. I had to ease up my grip...an inch at a time. I knew if I held onto him too tight, there would never be room in my life for anything...or anyone...else. It's like flying a kite. If the string is too short, the kite just spins around and around smacking you in the face. You can't see past it. But if you let out the string slowly and stay just right with the wind, you can actually tie off the string and the kite will pretty much fly itself. That's where I am. I've let out the kite string enough that I get a great view and can watch it soar on the wind. It's beautiful...and it makes me smile. Even when I feel my \"aloneness\". Because, really...I am never alone. Mr. Virgo's memory is with me. Those who love me are with me. But most of all...God is with me.
\n\n\nIt will be another busy week...taking the truck in for maintenance today and an interview for a podcast on Wednesday. Thursday night I'm meeting friends to go see Rocky Horror Picture Show. I've always wanted to go see it in the theater where the audience interacts with the characters on the screen. That'll be a hoot! So, there won't be much time to be lonely this week. My choice is always to roll up my sleeves, get into the fun, and fly my kite!
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2016-10-25T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/10/25/home.html", "tags": ["Grief","Growth","Courage","Healing"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/10/18/relationship.html", "title": "Relationship", "content_html": "\n“Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. Relieve the troubles of my heart and free me from my anguish.”
\nPsalm 25:16-17 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/b3c73b8690.jpg\")
Someone torched a Republican campaign office in North Carolina over the weekend. They threw a Molotov cocktail through the front window and painted swastikas on the front along with demands they leave the area \"or else\". In a remarkable show of grace, local Democrats raised $13,000 and gave it to the Republicans with the comment \"Now is the time for graciousness...not fractiousness.\" I felt encouraged.
\n\n\nWe vote the 8th...but what's going to happen November 9th? There's going to be a winner. And...there's going to be a loser. We don't all get a trophy just because we played the game. This isn't kindergarten. There are going to be a lot of angry people on that particular Wednesday morning. And likely for some time after. Someone is going to have to give or this is no better than two cars playing chicken at a one lane bridge.
\n\n\nRelationship. Somehow we're going to have to put the U back in United. The Bible says...\"Love your enemy.\" Unless we want another repeat of the Civil War, we need to all get along. I pray for the other camp every day...even when it makes me uncomfortable. Especially BECAUSE it makes me uncomfortable. We might as well start praying those extra prayers for grace now, because come November 9th...we're going to need them.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2016-10-18T01:30:01-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/10/18/relationship.html", "tags": ["Forgiveness","Courage","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/10/15/death-vs-divorce.html", "title": "Death vs. Divorce", "content_html": "\n“Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ. For the wrongdoer will be paid back for the wrong he has done, and there is no partiality.”
\nColossians 3:23-25 \n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/a530e2e142.jpg\")
Mr. Virgo was hubby number three for me. My starter marriage was relatively brief...just three years. My second marriage lasted 21 years. Mr. Virgo died just three weeks shy of our sixth wedding anniversary.
For me, the first divorce was probably the easiest to work through because I instigated it. I also was quite young at 23. The second was brutal. I was 47 and very much in love with my second husband when he ended the marriage. I was devastated. Then...I lost Mr. Virgo and I realized what devastation really felt like.
Grief is a path everyone walks at some point in their lives. Not only does everyone experience grief differently, no two grief experiences are alike within the same individual. I grieved deeply over the end of my second marriage and I believe it gave me tools to help when Mr. Virgo died. If one were to \"compare\" the grief experiences between the loss of divorce and the loss of death....death is permanent. You will never have the joy of seeing your loved one again. The sting of rejection in a divorce you didn't want and the pain of seeing the one you love over and over and over, likely with someone new, brings salt to an open wound. You grieve the loss of divorce in a different way.
\n\n\nGrief breaks us wide open. The life we planned is gone. Our hearts are broken in a million pieces at our feet. We sit, staring at the remnants on the floor and wonder how we can possibly pick those pieces back up and put them back together again. In time, we slowly gather the broken bits but the finished object is more like a jigsaw puzzle with missing pieces than the whole heart you had before. And...here's where hope comes in....when you sit in the darkness of your broken heart, there comes a day when you notice the beams of light shining out through the cracked places. You slowly realize you can glow again. You can shine. Never quite the same, but you can shine.
\n\n\nMy faith is what held me together when I lost Mr. Virgo. It took a lot of miles on the open road to see how God knitted my broken heart. The cracks are His way of letting others see Him in me. There is purpose in all things, no matter how painful they are. And that gives me peace.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2016-10-15T01:30:15-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/10/15/death-vs-divorce.html", "tags": ["Grief","Courage","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/09/29/smooth-sailing.html", "title": "Smooth Sailing", "content_html": "\n“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”
\nPsalms 34:18 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/2a56ad746e.jpg\")
About twelve or thirteen years ago, one of my friends lost her husband after a brief illness. Three of us decided to take her to Mexico where she could unwind and let her hair down. How that woman found the strength to do that, I will never know because we went less than a week after the funeral! I cannot imagine how she survived that.
\n\n\nWhile we were staying at this beautiful, all-inclusive resort, we had access to every possible recreation. One day, we decided to take a sailing lesson. We hopped on a small Hobie Cat and quickly learned how to zip back and forth. I took to sailing like a duck to water, so to speak. My friends soon tired of the whole thing and I dropped them off on shore then headed back out to sea. I really stretched my boundaries that day.
\n\n\nStretching my boundaries is something I strive to do on a regular basis. I'm finding, the more I stretch, the bigger my world gets. And the bigger my world gets, the more I have to stretch to reach out for new horizons. One thing begets the other begets the other. Public speaking is my brass ring of choice currently and I'm always looking for new opportunities.
\n\n\nThings are going well here at the farm. My neighbor across the road gave me some red bell peppers last night. The cats are fat and happy. I'll work on the gutters today. It's been so cold I had to turn the furnace on last night! I brought sheets and blankets in from the camper. I bought a memory foam topper for the mattress. I pulled out my mom's quilt to put on the bed. I am heading to a family wedding this weekend. The Internet and Wi-Fi cellphone service works great. I'm a happy camper this week!
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2016-09-29T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/09/29/smooth-sailing.html", "tags": ["Family","Courage","Farm Life"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/09/26/the-jabez-appointment.html", "title": "The Jabez Appointment", "content_html": "\n“He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.”
\nIsaiah 40:29 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/0177053ac3.jpg\")
I've talked to you a little bit about the Prayer of Jabez and how those two little scriptures have impacted my life in a big way. I read that little book every week and there's something in it I've begun to do recently...with amazing results.
\n\n\nBruce Wilkinson talks about events he calls \"Jabez appointments\". Part of asking for expanded territory is asking God to bring someone to him that he needs to talk with and share some light. Wilkinson recounts in story after story, tales of being in the right place at just the right moment. Since the rest of the prayer has been working so well, I decided to try getting some appointments of my own.
\n\n\nThe first time I tried calling in a Jabez appointment was in the spring. I went to the mall and said a prayer before I entered. I told God if there was someone who really needed me to talk with them, place them in my path and I would do my best to help them. I walked around and around that mall and was finally drawn into a store. The first person I met was the owner and within a minute I knew this was my appointment. I was totally amazed, not only by the fact it happened, but also by the fact I seemed to know exactly what to say to help this person, even though I did not know anything about him.
\n\n\nWhen I went camping this weekend, I made that same request of God...\"If there's someone who needs You and I can help, cross our paths.\" It wasn't long till I walked right into my Jabez appointment. I won't divulge her identity or compromise her anonymity. Let's just say, I had personal experience with something that was affecting her deeply and our conversation was validating to her. Besides the obvious benefits of that, it deepened our friendship and I came away feeling deeply touched by the Holy Spirit.
\n\n\nI don't tell you this to preach. I tell you this to share. I was telling someone this weekend, there is very little in my life that has been off limits to this blog and my faith has certainly played a big role in helping me get through the last three and a half years. If it helps you too, then the blessing is increased. I'm reminded occasionally to thank you all for being here and reading my daily essays. It means more to me than you can ever know and I love every single one of you!
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2016-09-26T01:30:55-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/09/26/the-jabez-appointment.html", "tags": ["Faith","Courage","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/09/23/the-artist.html", "title": "The Artist", "content_html": "\n“but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”
\nIsaiah 40:31 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/f9ef39a623.jpg\")
I once asked a framer when you can consider yourself an artist. She said, \"When others recognize you as one.\" I asked my artist friend, Marion (whose work I greatly admire) the same question and she said, \"When you order business cards with \"Artist\" under your name. The same goes for writer, speaker, gypsy. I am all of the above.
\n\n\nMr. Virgo turned 60 in 2010. I wanted to give him something special to commemorate such an auspicious occasion. We were living in Denver at the time and my husband missed living in the mountains. Not far from our mountain house sits Mt. Sopris...a 14,000+ foot icon towering over the town of Carbondale. He saw this mountain every day on his commute to Aspen to work and loved the way the light changed it through the seasons. He was absolutely thrilled with his gift and immediately hung it over his highboy where he could see it when he came home at night.
\n\n\nI've been playing with an app that turns pictures into paintings. I wondered what it would do to an actual painting so I created these images yesterday. I love the different styles and it reflects how the light changes over the mountain. I thought I'd share them with you today.
\n\n\nI'm glad I have this painting. I'm not 100% certain, but I'm thinking I might be able to stay at the farm. I'll know more in a couple of weeks. I will find a place to hang this painting so I can see it every day, too. It is a warm memory. I have lots of warm memories of the love God has brought into my life. It's time to celebrate that.
\n\n\nGod continually blesses me!
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2016-09-23T01:30:28-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/09/23/the-artist.html", "tags": ["Courage","Insight","Art"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/09/07/conflict.html", "title": "Conflict", "content_html": "\n“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.””
\nJeremiah 29:11-14 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/5b623da9dc.jpg\")
One of the most difficult situations I face in this life is conflict. Whether the roots lie in my upbringing in the chaotic presence of an alcoholic father or based on my personality, I've spent years living with an elephant, putting a doily on it and calling it a table rather than, God forbid, DISCUSS said behemoth. I imagine this is true, to some degree or another, for most of us. There must be some people who thrive on conflict or we wouldn't have lawyers and politicians. Some people just seem better at navigating it than others.
\n\n\nCodependency is a big factor in avoiding conflict. Codependent people would rather walk through broken glass barefoot than hurt someone, even if it means not having a life of their own. I know, I lived with that for a long, long time. I'm better equipped now to stand up and speak my mind than I used to be...even as recently as when Mr. Virgo was living. Something about being on your own helps you become stronger and more assertive. That doesn't mean I enjoy or look forward to conflict of any kind, but I can navigate it more easily.
\n\n\nSome people are just difficult and antagonistic. They speak without regard for the feelings of others. These people can be intimidating, to say the least. Two strong-willed, independent people may end up resorting to verbal fisticuffs as opposed to rational give-and-take problem-solving dialog.
I have some conversations coming up that are causing me to pull up from my inner stores strength that I only began to access in the last couple of years. These conversations involve encouraging the bravery of others. They are heading in different directions. They both have different perspectives. Same loss. And, both conversations have the potential of getting uncomfortable. But, if approached from a place of love and prayer, I am convinced my words will be delivered, and hopefully received, in the spirit they are intended. And, my ears and heart will be open to hear the other parties.
See how that circles right back around to love? Like I said in yesterday's post, the bottom line in every action and interaction should be love. It isn't always easy to keep that as your focus as we can easily be put on the defensive and lash out. I had just such an interaction last week that I regret immensely. We can just try to make it right and strive for improvement every day. And pray for the right words.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2016-09-07T01:30:35-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/09/07/conflict.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Courage","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/08/27/the-conversation.html", "title": "The Conversation", "content_html": "\n“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,”
\nJames 1:19 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/7a3f7d836c.jpg\")
This conference is being run in a format unlike any I've ever attended. It is entirely conversational. Small groups gather at round tables to hear a speaker present their talk. The ensuing discourse comprises the other half of the session. It offers an open sharing of ideas and allows true connections to be made among the participants.
\n\n\nI attended yesterday's sessions regarding alternative modes of housing for seniors that allow them to age in place. We discussed co-housing, house-sharing, and how to select a proper home-mate. The benefits of co-housing far outreach the obvious decrease in living expenses. Health and safety, security, and reduction of the carbon footprint are all valuable benefits. I've been considering for some time that I won't be able to live the gypsy lifestyle forever so this has at least introduced the conversation in my mind. Short of having another relationship, co-housing answers a great many problems with living alone. And, even if there were another relationship, I've learned all too well not to assume it will last forever. Co-housing is a valuable option for seniors wishing to live independent, happy, and healthy lives for as long as possible.
\n\n\nOh, all three sessions I attended yesterday were live streamed on CSPAN and my son-in-law's mom recorded it for the grandchildren. I was strategically seated in full camera view. Nana rocks!
\n\n\nSo, today's the day I speak to these very cool people! I'm so jazzed!!!
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2016-08-27T01:30:38-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/08/27/the-conversation.html", "tags": ["Positive Energy","Courage","Aging","Press"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/08/24/rest-in-peace.html", "title": "Rest in Peace", "content_html": "\n“They will still bear fruit in old age, they will stay fresh and green,”
\nPsalm 92:14 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/e176314839.jpg\")
I come to the family cemetery several times a week. There is no cell service at the farm, so this is the nearest place available. I bought my mother a low stone that is much like a bench. When I am staying at the farm, I come here, visit, listen to the sounds of nature, and write my post for the next day. It's so peaceful up on this hill.
\n\n\nWhen Mr. Virgo died, I had him buried...at his request. I would have preferred cremation so I could scatter his ashes in all our favorite places. Instead, I had the funeral director cut a lock of his hair so I could leave a few strands at the important places in my life. This is one of them. I buried some of his beautiful silver hair beside my mom's headstone so I can visit him, too.
\n\n\nI'm heading east today to visit family overnight then head on to DC on Thursday for the conference I'm speaking at. I'm SO excited!
\n\n\nWhen I think of my life on March 11th, 2013 compared to today, it boggles my mind. That was the day before Mr. Virgo died. The day before my life changed forever. The day before I lost...everything. Everything that mattered to me. That's what it felt like. Of course, I didn't really lose everything. I have wonderful friends. I have a loving family. I do meaningful work. I spread a message of love and hope and joy. My life is rich and full and beautiful. I love and am loved. A friend came to visit me for lunch yesterday and asked if I was happy. I didn't even skip a beat and said \"Yes.\" I am happy. I told my friend you don't ever get over this kind of loss. But, you do get through it. You learn how to work around that hole in your heart without falling in every single time you get too close.
\n\n\nFor the longest time, I felt I would be betraying Mr. Virgo if I said I was happy. I even felt guilty for FEELING happy. That is perfectly normal. Now I can feel him smiling when I feel joy. He would want this for me.
Rest in peace. Live in peace, too.
❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2016-08-24T01:30:53-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/08/24/rest-in-peace.html", "tags": ["Family","Gratitude","Courage","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/08/22/alone.html", "title": "Alone", "content_html": "\n“Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.”
\nColossians 3:15 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/b94ba73554.jpg\")
Mary Ann writes: \"Happy for you. I know being on the water in my kayak is my happy place and I presume it is for you too. One question...how have you managed to do this alone? I have only been on the water one time since my husband died in June. Going alone just doesn't seem like a safe idea. Even the time I went with friends, wrangling the kayak onto/off the top of my (his) truck was difficult for me. I'm wondering if/how I'm going to keep doing this. Would appreciate any insights.\"
\n\n\nWell, Mary Ann...I made a conscious decision early on that I was not going to let widowhood hold me back from doing anything I wanted to do. I am determined to figure out a way to make whatever I attempt work, no matter how big of a challenge it is. Yes, getting the kayak up and down off my truck is difficult and it takes a lot of maneuvering and figuring out leverage. I bought a cradle with suction cups that allows me to slide the kayak into the rack on the roof of the topper. I lay the tailgate down and stand on it. I close the topper window and raise the end of the kayak up over that cradle. Then I get down and lift the other end till the balance shifts and the nose comes down and the tail goes up. Then I climb back up on the tailgate, slide the kayak forward in the rack till it's in position, and tie it down.
\n\n\nAs for going out alone, I never do anything alone without notifying someone of my whereabouts and when to expect me back. I always keep an active fishing license because you pay a search and rescue fee with your license fee. I have never kayaked alone on the Ohio River, but I did on Standley Lake in Colorado. I have to tell you, the problem there wasn't my ability, it was being alone and some activities are better shared. I have plenty of friends who want to get together and do activities. I would suggest MeetUp as a way of finding like minded individuals to do activities with. Also, church groups, recreation centers, Y's, and women's clubs are excellent ways to explore new activities and make new friends.
\n\n\nNow, in the larger arena of \"alone\", it can be difficult to find ways to be alone that don't involve reminders that you're...well...alone when you are missing your spouse. Understanding friends go a long way towards making you comfortable stepping outside of the box. I fought being alone for so long because I really didn't want to be \"one of those widows\" who would rather spend time with their cats than socialize. Now, while I am certainly open to another relationship, I have truly come to enjoy a certain amount of solitude and might resent someone trying to horn in on it.
\n\n\nThe key is, for me...I had to walk through a lot of grief before I could come anywhere close to saying not everything about being alone sucks. The thing I miss the very most is the physical contact...hugs and kisses and making love on a lazy afternoon are palpably absent. I am such a physical person, being alone in that sense sometimes feels like a prison sentence. But I have God in my life. Knowing that He carries this burden for me, that He weeps for my pain, gives me comfort. I trust in Him to provide for all my needs...including a companion if He sees fit for me to have one...and that makes me feel less lonely. He brings me joy on a daily basis. That is how I manage alone.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2016-08-22T01:30:35-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/08/22/alone.html", "tags": ["Positive Energy","Courage","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/08/17/after-the-rain.html", "title": "After the Rain", "content_html": "\n“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”
\nPsalm 147:3 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/78c5ad131c.jpg\")
I want to tell you how God works in my life. I've mentioned in some of my posts that I was sexually abused as a child. The first time was the summer between 2nd and 3rd grade at the hands of an older neighbor boy. I estimate he was in high school, but I don't know that for certain. I do know that I was playing under the big tree with my little friend. She is about four and a half years younger than me so I assume she was four or five years old when this incident happened.
\n\n\nThe boy lured us into a garage under the pretense of looking at toys. When he molested me, I was confused and frightened and stood very still...hoping he would go away. But when he went after my friend, my maternal instinct kicked in and I grabbed her and ran before he could touch her. I haven't seen her since she was a senior in high school but I've thought of her often. I've always wondered if she had any memory of that day. I've wondered if she was frightened or if...God forbid...he had cornered her another time when I wasn't with her to protect her.
\n\n\nI pray all the time, but my prayers aren't always out loud. Most often, my prayers are my thoughts as I communicate with God during the day. For some reason, this incident has been on my mind a lot this summer...probably because my youngest grandchild reminds me so much of myself at her age and she isn't much older than I was that fateful summer day. So, I've silently asked God many times in the last few months to let my path cross that of my friend.
\n\n\nSaturday night I was at my high school reunion and a couple was seated at my table. The man had graduated with me but I didn't know him in high school and had never met him. Yet, here he was...at my table. There are no accidents. His wife was seated opposite me and I asked her if she went to our high school. She said yes, but she didn't graduate till '75. A chill went up my spine. I asked her if she knew my friend. With a look of surprise, she said \"OMGosh! I just saw her this evening!\" No doubt. I asked if she could get a message to her that I needed to speak to her. She sent a text and I waited.
\n\n\nMonday night, the phone rang out at the farm and...it was my long lost childhood friend. I did not want to come right out of the chute and ask her about that day in the garage so we spent the better part of two hours catching up and asking about each other's families and what we had been doing the last forty years. It was so good to hear her voice. As the conversation began to wind down and we had made promises to get together soon for lunch, I felt the time was right to ask her. I was so relieved to hear she had no memory of that day and there had never been an incident afterwards. As we continued to work through who lived in the neighborhood and who that boy could have been she said, \"You know...there was this one house near the alley that I was absolutely forbidden from ever going near.\"
\n\n\nWhen my friend's mother had taken her into the house that day, she sent me on my way with a warning to never to speak of that again to anyone...so I didn't tell my own mother till I was 35. It took me a while to realize this woman was merely a product of the times. This happened in the very early '60s...the Camelot years. You never spoke of child abuse back then as it was shameful. She wasn't being mean and I don't place any blame on her. But, just knowing she kept my friend away from that house on the alley let me know she heard me. And...even more importantly...she believed me. I wasn't the \"bad girl\" I thought I was at the time. I never had been.
\n\n\nAnd, that is the gift God gave me on a Monday night on a quiet farm in West Virginia...after the rain.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2016-08-17T01:30:47-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/08/17/after-the-rain.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Growth","Courage","Choices","Control","Healing"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/07/15/speak.html", "title": "Speak!", "content_html": "\n“For the word of the Lord is right and true; he is faithful in all he does. The Lord loves righteousness and justice; the earth is full of his unfailing love.”
\nPsalm 33:4-5 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/3c25bb5d76.jpg\")
I just received the schedule for the International Conference on Positive Aging! I'm speaking in the very last session of the conference. I'm hoping they saved the best for last! lol I'm also hoping people aren't totally burned out and taking a nap by that time. I have a friend whose career takes him to conference after conference and he says this is a good position so I'll take him at his word.
\n\n\nI've been reading the bios and descriptions of the presentations at this conference. We are still six weeks away...if you have the opportunity to attend this, I would encourage you to do so. There are some pretty impressive speakers at this conference and lots of interesting subjects. I'm allowed to attend all of the sessions so I'm studying which ones I want to hear. I'm telling you...I'm pretty darned excited!
\n\n\nPlease keep my older daughter in your prayers this morning as she has laser surgery for vision correction. Skilled and steady hands, calm and peaceful patient. She and her husband celebrate their 21st wedding anniversary today as well. Where did the time go?
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2016-07-15T01:30:27-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/07/15/speak.html", "tags": ["Gratitude","Courage","Humbled","Aging"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/07/05/motivation-monday.html", "title": "Motivation Monday", "content_html": "\n“Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.””
\nExodus 4:12 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/15381f85c6.jpg\")
I've been thinking a lot about my friend Bill's wife. As a new widow, those of us who have walked this path are so painfully aware of where she is in general. Everyone's grief is different, but I would say there are more similarities than differences in those first few weeks. She did so well at the funeral. She is a strong woman of faith and God's light was all around her as she lovingly tended to the bereaved, putting her own grief aside as best she could. I remember feeling like a hostess at a very macabre family reunion. I was disconnected, numb...my daughters turning me this way and that in the direction I needed to go.
\n\n\nI sent this new widow an e-mail with my condolences. I forwarded the e-mail Bill sent me in response to the news of Mr. Virgo's death. My hope is those tender words of comfort in her husband's own writing will soothe her heart. I also sent her a link to Marshmallow Ranch for support should she care to join us. I know how much comfort I receive from you all...surely she will find something meaningful here.
\n\n\nI am surprised at how much I have struggled since I arrived in Colorado this trip. I started out on the wrong foot with altitude sickness. That sent me down a rabbit hole to explore some more of my own grief. Then the news of losing such a vital member of our community and our church family as well as a friend has kept me off balance. I've been doing a lot of self care this trip. Last summer was epic with lots of camping and fun activities with the kids. Yesterday was spent with a migraine the likes of which I haven't seen in quite some time. This summer is entirely different. And, that's ok. It's just another turn in the path, a few more flames to walk through...another layer of the onion to peel back and cry over. I do have a different stress level this year as I prepare my book proposal and my talk in DC in August. Writing this book keeps me coming back and diving into the tough stuff. I swear, there must be a name tag here somewhere, like....Chief of Archaeology, Grief Division. The work is never done.
\n\n\nAs I contemplated this during a mostly sleepless night (the nights...that's when it gets you, doesn't it?) I came upon this passage and read it over and over. It reminds me of the feather tattoo on my wrist. My burdens are as light as a feather because God carries them for me. IF I remember to hand them over! Ahhhhh...there's the rub.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2016-07-05T01:30:22-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/07/05/motivation-monday.html", "tags": ["Grief","Courage","Writing"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/07/03/from-sadness-to-summer-fun.html", "title": "From Sadness to Summer Fun", "content_html": "\n““Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.””
\nMatthew 11:28-30 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/0588e7300b.jpg\")
Life flip flops on a dime sometimes. I was SO dreading my friend Bill's funeral yesterday. For one thing, I have only attended one funeral since Mr. Virgo died and that wasn't someone I even new, actually. I went in support of the parents. Bill's funeral meant looking at his wife and remembering. Bill's funeral hit close to my heart.
\n\n\nI made arrangements to meet a dear friend at the church. I warned her ahead of time that I wasn't sure how I would react so she was prepared to make a quick exit if it bothered me. The church was absolutely packed. One of Hubby #2's colleagues sat next to me by chance. I hadn't seen him in years. We chatted and caught up which was lovely. The service was an amazing tribute to a man well loved. The only time I teared up was when they presented the flag to his widow. That always gets me. There was a reception after and I stayed so I could visit with people I literally hadn't seen in decades. It was sad that it was under such circumstances but delightful to see so many people who have touched my life. It was a day full of love and grace.
\n\n\nAnd now, I turn my attention to the next thing on the agenda. I am driving back to Denver today to avoid the holiday traffic on Monday. Then there will be the 4th of July festivities. And after that, there is a camping trip with Little. Big has swim practice and has not inherited the camping bug, so it's just me and Little heading out for a week of fun in the mountains! I saw this photo of a bacon s'more on FB the other day. SO not on my diet, but decadent nonetheless! Hope you're enjoying your holiday weekend!
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n", "date_published": "2016-07-03T01:30:48-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/07/03/from-sadness-to-summer-fun.html", "tags": ["Grief","Courage","Friends"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/06/22/the-power-of-song.html", "title": "The Power of Song", "content_html": "\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/817e232733.jpg\")
My younger daughter has her mama's heart. Soft...tender...loving. She shared this video yesterday and it touched my heart as it did hers.
\n\n\nMr. Virgo's was a snatch death. He was gone within 3-4 hours after having his heart attack. I sat with a woman in Aspen Monday who watched her husband die of leukemia. My heart ached for her loss because it seems so much harder than mine. I cannot imagine losing Mr. Virgo a minute at a time...as so many of you experienced your losses.
\n\n\nI went through hospice training many, many years ago. And before I could get a client, I became pregnant with my second daughter. My hormonal condition wouldn't have helped anyone so I never ended up volunteering. Hubby #2 ran the local hospice and delivered local cancer care before the hospital acquired an oncologist. I was well versed in theory, if not in actual practice.
\n\n\nWhen it is time for me to cross over, I want a threshold choir to come sing me home. What a beautiful, touching service to humanity. God bless these loving people.
\n\n\nWatch \"Singing to the Dying\" HERE.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2016-06-22T01:30:52-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/06/22/the-power-of-song.html", "tags": ["Grief","Comfort","Courage","Aging"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/06/10/the-bridge.html", "title": "The Bridge", "content_html": "\n“Worship the Lord with gladness; come before him with joyful songs.”
\nPsalm 100:2 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/9a13e105ac.jpg\")
A bridge connects two inaccessible points and provides a means for crossing safely over from Point A to Point B. The bridge in this photo carries a portion of the Virginia Creeper Trail where it crosses South Holston Lake in East Tennessee. Imagine how glorious the views are up there!
\n\n\nWe cross a lot of bridges as we pass through the various phases of life. We are never more aware of these than when we are inching ever closer to the final one. I am in East Tennessee visiting my sweet cousin. I have several cousins and I love them all. I was very close to this particular cousin growing up because I had a huge \"little girl crush\" on him when he came home from the Navy. And.....this particular cousin has a terminal illness. We've known for some time. He's having chemo...and, even though it kicks his butt, it has bought him time and given him a better quality of life. For that I am eternally grateful.
\n\n\nYesterday we went out boating on the lake. The day was exquisite...absolutely exquisite. I am honored to be with them, especially now. Now we are becoming slightly more aware there are actually numbers on the days. His wife is being so generous with sharing my cousin with me. I don't take that lightly. They are on a bridge right now. There is a certain uncertainty to this whole situation. We know what's coming...kinda. This is walking grief. The kind you get to visit in the long, dark hours before dawn. It's very raw. And it's very real.
\n\n\nI can't imagine being in their shoes. I am so touched to witness this sweet life-long love they so freely shower on each other. I am honored to bear witness to a life well-lived.
\n\n\n❤️???❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2016-06-10T01:30:12-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/06/10/the-bridge.html", "tags": ["Family","Grief","Fun","Gratitude","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/06/04/surviving-who-i-tried-to.html", "title": "Surviving Who I Tried to Be", "content_html": "\n“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.””
\nJoshua 1:9 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/e495d04e01.jpg\")
My ex and his wife just bought a huge new house on three acres. I'm happy for them. Seriously. They've worked hard for what they've grown together and they are two beautiful souls. And, even though I am happy for them, when I saw that house, I felt the tiniest little squeeze of jealousy. A fleeting thought crossed my mind. \"That could have been me. That could have been my house!\" Then I smiled at that petulant child and said, \"Hush now and remember who you are.\"
\n\n\nFor a long, long time I tried to be something I wasn't. I wore masks and different costumes, trying this one and that to see what fit...to find my identity. My identity was fractured in my youth by dysfunction and sexual abuse. I longed to be understood yet I had no words to express what I was feeling. I remember a period of time when I couldn't see my face in the mirror. I was a mess.
\n\n\nThings got so bad. I built a house of cards and it was just a matter of time till they all came crashing down around me. I tried to be Jewish. I tried to be a good doctor's wife. I tried to put on a happy face...till I didn't have the energy to try anymore. When everything came crashing down, it was devastating to a lot of people. We are all changed because of it. But we survived. And now we're stronger and much more real.
\n\n\nYes, they have a beautiful home. And so do I. My home is portable. I can park it anywhere. I can change my view on a whim. I have no grass to mow, no fences to mend. I can carry everything I own on eight wheels. I have no mortgage. My living expenses are fairly minimal. All those things are pluses in my book. Thank God I don't wear a mask now. I don't try to be something I'm not. I don't tap dance for my supper anymore. And that is living on a grand scale.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2016-06-04T01:30:32-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/06/04/surviving-who-i-tried-to.html", "tags": ["Forgiveness","Courage","Downsizing"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/05/27/summer-love.html", "title": "Summer Love", "content_html": "\n“For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.”
\nJames 3:16 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/ff5667dbd6.jpg\")
It's the Memorial Day Weekend...traditionally the start of the summer season. Along with that comes social events and picnics in the park and outings of this sort or that. A blossoming romance is not entirely out of the question, even at our delightful age, so I am re-running a post I did a while back that is relevant. I hope you enjoy it and please, feel free to forward it...especially to our young lady graduates who will be heading out into the world soon.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n
Never Settle
I am so happy my second daughter was still living at home when Mr. Virgo and I got married. She got to witness firsthand the way a woman should be treated in a relationship. I remember one morning, she came in to wake me up and crawled in bed beside me. Mr. Virgo came in right behind her with a cup of coffee for me and a kiss good morning. I thanked him and turned to my daughter and said \"Don't ever settle for less than this kind of treatment, baby girl.\"
\n\n\nI wish all women had that kind of role model. There's so much I wish I had been told back when I was just starting out. I had dinner last night with my high school slumber party girlfriends. It made me sit back and think about what might have been different for us if someone would have taught us more. So, in addition to the message in today's meme, I'll list a few snippets of wisdom.
\n\n\n
Now, all of this being said, I want to tell my male readers...I'm not male bashing here. These tips can just as easily be reworded and given to men. I'm addressing women mainly as that is my reader base. Just know I'm sensitive to your issues as well.
❤
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2016-05-27T01:30:56-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/05/27/summer-love.html", "tags": ["Strong Women","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/05/11/music-from-the-heart.html", "title": "Music From the Heart", "content_html": "\n\"Strength and dignity are her clothing, And she smiles at the future. She opens her mouth in wisdom, And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.\"
\nProverbs 31:25-26\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/036d942dbc.jpg\")
For a very long time after losing Mr. Virgo...my world went dark and silent. I saw no colors. I heard no music. There was no real joy except when I hugged my children and grandchildren and when I snuggled down in TOW-Wanda. I was floating in this cosmic wasteland, searching for something I remembered...something familiar. Something that was now far removed from me. I had a sense things would eventually come back into focus. I did everything I could to move the time line along, but there was no way that was going to happen. I had to just resign myself to the fact I was going to have to ride this one out.
\n\n\nI started seeing color again in the second year. Music came back into my life in the third year. This year...my year to thrive...has seen a virtual explosion in my life. My heart is full to overflowing and love is splashing everywhere. My mind has opened and I'm learning and growing. Age is blessing me with cahunas big enough to shoo away the negatives and draw the positives very close. God is blessing me with the most beautiful people in my life and such amazing opportunities. Wisdom and discernment are gifts of age and man, am I glad those two finally showed up!
\n\n\nI love how music has filled my life again. Special songs with poignant lyrics keep turning up to fill my heart. I throw the door open wide and invite them in. Bring your friends...we're celebrating. Life, love, spring, rain on the camper roof, the smell of new mown grass. Curried salmon. Juicy fresh berries. Thunder. And...Blue Velvet...At Last...The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face. I'm drunk with the love of life. This is the hope I wished for. I prayed for this. This is me...living life again. There may very well be dark days on occasion but now that I know this is possible, those dark days don't scare me anymore.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2016-05-11T01:30:54-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/05/11/music-from-the-heart.html", "tags": ["Grief","Comfort","Courage","Be Joyful!","Healing"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/04/28/crone.html", "title": "Crone", "content_html": "\n“Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.”
\nRomans 12:9-10 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/2c8e0e7ed4.jpg\")
The word sounds bad. But it's meaning implies a wise woman. I've become a crone...a title I wear with as much dignity and grace as I can muster. We don't get to this age without a few battle scars. And the things we've gone through are the very things we use when we reach down to help the next person up.
\n\n\nThere was a time when my insecurities drove people away from me, which further fueled the insecurities. It wasn't until I pledged a moratorium on new relationships that I got a handle on it. I needed to learn that it is most often counter productive to \"chase\" people down in an attempt to spend time with them. I've learned to be the flower. All you have to do is blossom. The bees will come to you. Pretty simple, really.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2016-04-28T01:30:46-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/04/28/crone.html", "tags": ["Strong Women","Growth","Wisdom","Courage","Aging"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/04/02/ideas.html", "title": "Ideas", "content_html": "\n“So we say with confidence, “The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?””
\nHebrews 13:6 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/ef23369218.jpg\")
Uh-oh...I'm getting ideas. I'm seeing major results from my fitness regime and its giving me ideas. I'm beginning to see myself as capable of doing really cool things. Things I never dreamed I'd even consider doing. Like...hike the Appalachian Trail. And the Colorado Trail. Like...climbing the steps to the top of the Eiffel Tower. Like....riding my bike....really far.
I'm beginning to see possibilities.
I want to do exciting things before I die. Time to adjust my bucket list!
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2016-04-02T01:30:54-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/04/02/ideas.html", "tags": ["Health","Courage","Fitness"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/03/23/getting-bolder.html", "title": "Getting Bolder", "content_html": "\n“You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.”
\nHebrews 10:36 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/1312a1be63.jpg\")
The Sisters on the Fly Blog just posted my latest story. This branded series is all about the transitions we go through in life and how we get b-older as we get older. I amaze myself with my boldness. As Annie Lamott says, \"Age has given me something I've been looking for my whole life. It's given me me.\" Why were we so timid in our self acceptance? Why did we cling to toxic relationships in order to keep from being alone? What were we afraid of? I know this sounds bad, but this is the most delightful time of my life. That isn't to say I have forgotten my loss or that I don't miss Mr. Virgo. What it DOES say is, this is the life I've been given. It is a gift...one that I do not take lightly. I am free AND I am experienced...a beautiful, brazen place to live.
\n\n\nYou can read my blog post HERE.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n“You see me, whether I am working or resting; you know all my actions.” Psalms 139:3 GNB
\n\n", "date_published": "2016-03-23T01:30:58-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/03/23/getting-bolder.html", "tags": ["Sisters on the Fly","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/03/04/in-the-times.html", "title": "In the Times", "content_html": "\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/ecb1d63496.jpg\")
(For those who may have missed the New York Times article, I am printing it here. Some people have said they cannot access it without buying a subscription to the paper.)
\n\n\nYOUR MONEY
Financial Guidance for Widows Struggling Through Grief’s Fog
By KERRY HANNON FEB. 19, 2016
“My husband and I had decided life was too short,” recalled Ginny McKinney, “so we went shopping to buy a travel trailer to take us into an early retirement.” That was three years ago.
“While standing in the fourth trailer that we were considering, he had a heart attack and died,” she said. Dan McKinney was 62.
\n\n\nMs. McKinney was 59 and retired from her work as a medical assistant, although she was taking on occasional work to make a little extra money. Her husband was getting ready to retire from his post as a restaurant manager at the Ritz Carlton Club at the Aspen Highlands Ski Resort in Colorado.
\n\n\nLike Ms. McKinney, one-third of the women who become widows are under age 65, according to data from the Women’s Institute for a Secure Retirement, known as Wiser, a nonprofit organization dedicated to women’s financial education and advocacy. The Census Bureau reported in 2011 that the median age of widowhood was 59.4 for a first marriage and 60.3 for a second marriage.
\n\n\nNo one is ever prepared for such an event. But for many women, the road to financial hardship begins after their husbands die. Nearly a third of single women over age 75 are living in poverty, according to Wiser’s research.
\n\n\nMs. McKinney is not one of them. The couple had some savings, and she was the recipient of his $150,000 life insurance policy. Nonetheless, the sudden loss turned her world upside down. “He carried my heart on a velvet pillow, and I was crushed,” she said.
\n\n\nOne of her first moves after the funeral was to connect with a certified financial planner, Danielle Howard of Wealth by Design in Basalt, Colo., who made it clear from the start that Ms. McKinney needed to share responsibility for her finances and not leave everything to her adviser.
\n\n\n“Some women are heads of households and managing it all,” Ms. Howard said, “but probably 75 percent of women I’ve worked with just go, ‘I am not good at math.’ It is not a matter of being good with math, I tell them. You can use a calculator. You just need to be comfortable talking about it.”
\n\n\nMs. Howard urged her client to increase her financial literacy. “That education is vital to getting your feet back on the ground,” she said.
\n\n\nLike most widows, Ms. McKinney is living on a lot less than before her spouse died. “The big-picture look at widows is that there’s almost always a loss of income,” said Cindy Hounsell, the founder and president of Wiser. Women also generally live longer than men, making it even more important that they plan their finances carefully.
\n\n\nFor reasons she still doesn’t fully understand, two weeks after her husband’s sudden death, Ms. McKinney headed back to the travel trailer dealership to pursue the dream she had with her spouse. She bought a 15-foot Sportsmen Classic.
\n\n\n“I took off for three months, driving a circle around Colorado,” she said. “I went to places in the wilderness and on the top of mountains, where I could stand outside and scream at the sky, and scream at God for taking my man. And scream at him for leaving me.
\n\n\nShe also joined the Sisters on the Fly, a women’s empowerment adventure group. “The group made me feel I wasn’t a victim,” she said. “I wasn’t the only one who had gone through this.”
\n\n\nSince her husband’s death, Ms. McKinney has put tens of thousands of miles on her truck and trailer. “I’ve done a lot of driving, but I haven’t done anything exorbitant,” she said. “I didn’t go around the world.”
\n\n\nIndeed, widows need to make their initial financial moves cautiously. “There’s a sense of urgency to do something right after you lose a spouse, but I caution widows to recognize the psychological trauma and don’t do anything hastily,” said Eleanor Blayney, author of “Women’s Worth: Finding Your Financial Confidence” and consumer advocate of the Certified Financial Planner Board of Standards. “Widows, in particular, have to be very careful about being taken advantage of by people who may or may not have their best interests at heart.”
\n\n\nOne stumbling block for many widows is knowing where the money is. That often requires some sleuthing to locate savings accounts, brokerage accounts and retirement plans — and identifying the proper online passwords. “The first step to piecing things together,” Ms. Blayney said, “is digging out your joint tax returns for the past five years.”
\n\n\n“An ounce of prevention is everything,” Ms. Blayney added. “Anticipating widowhood is tough, but the more financial information a woman can gather in advance of the loss of a spouse, the smoother it will be.”
\n\n\nThat’s easier said than done — even when the death is not sudden. Five years ago, Joyce McCue, now 63, and her husband of 30 years, Richard, moved to McLean, Va., from Memphis for his job as vice president for Hilton International. Six months later, he learned he had throat cancer. He died a year after their move at the age of 55.
\n\n\nHer spouse had a $2.5 million life insurance policy. But when it came to what to do with it and other family investments, she was at a loss. “I was always totally bored when we went to our financial planner,” Mrs. McCue said. “I controlled the day-to-day finances. I paid the bills. I balanced the checkbooks. But he did the big-picture stuff.”
\n\n\nShe did have one thing in her favor: She knew how to control her spending. “Richard and I always teased each other,” she said, “because my motto was always ‘Do we need that?’ and his motto was ‘Let’s get two.’ ”
\n\n\nShe hired a financial adviser, Eileen O’ Connor, co-founder of Hemington Wealth Management in McLean. “It was quite intimidating,” Mrs. McCue said. “I felt like I was asking questions a kid in high school would.”
\n\n\nAnd, like Ms. McKinney, she joined a women’s support group. “Widows are able to share and help each other with the challenges they’re facing and resources,” Ms. O’Connor said. “While I’d like to think I’m helpful to my widowed clients, I think they find as much support, or more, from peers that are going through the same ordeal.”
\n\n\nMost financial planners suggest that widows refrain from investing or spending any lump sum insurance or pension payout for at least six months and ideally a year. Some widows, however, overspend early after the death of a spouse.
\n\n\nThat’s one mistake Ms. McKinney made. “If I had it to go over again, I would not take that life insurance in one lump sum,” she said. “I would have had it divvied out. You’re not thinking that first year.”
\n\n\nAmong other things, she gave some large gifts to her adult children. “Somehow it felt like it might soften things, ease the pain — however irrational it is,” she said.
\n\n\nAn even more important decision is where to live. “That’s an emotional one because the family home is often the locus of the marriage,” Ms. Blayney said. “It’s not just a financial decision; it is a very emotional decision.”
\n\n\nMs. McKinney waited a year to sell the couple’s 1,700-square-foot home in New Castle, Colo., which sold for $260,000. “After I came back from my trip, I never moved back in,” she said. “I realized I was living in my camper on the front curb and using my house as a really expensive laundromat. I didn’t love the house anymore.”
\n\n\nAfter paying off the mortgage and upgrading to a 250-square-foot travel trailer, she had $63,000 left. “For now, I draw from that for living expenses,” she said, “so I don’t touch my retirement savings.”
\n\n\nLike Mrs. McCue, Ms. McKinney found new life through sharing with others, writing a blog on Facebook for widows and forming fresh bonds with the women she met through Sisters on the Fly.
\n\n\n“They’re a hoot,” she said. “I needed to have something joyful to look forward to and there they were.”
\n\n", "date_published": "2016-03-04T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/03/04/in-the-times.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Sisters on the Fly","Courage","Choices","Widow","Press"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/02/20/nytimes.html", "title": "NYTimes", "content_html": "\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/49c2b2777e.jpg\")
I was walking down Grand Avenue in Glenwood Springs, CO the first week of January when the familiar \"ding\" came from my cell phone. I had a new message. \"Can you call me right away? Danielle\". Hmmmmm, when you get an urgent message from your financial advisor, you drop what you're doing and call! She told me a reporter that had sought her out for comments a couple of times wanted to know if she had a client who would be willing to be interviewed for an article on widowhood and retirement. Danielle immediately thought of me and my journey and wanted to know if I was interested. I was thrilled that she thought of me but when I found out it was for the NYTimes, I must say I was at a loss for words. Yes. Me. At a loss for words. Hard to imagine, isn't it?
\n\n\nAfter receiving the contact information, I sent an e-mail introduction to Kerry Hannon. Kerry has written 10 books on women and finance and finding your dream job, including \"Finding the Job You Want After 50 For Dummies\" and \"Love Your Job: The New Rules for Career Happiness\". We arranged to have a phone conversation the following Wednesday. I was a little bit nervous. And a whole lot excited!
\n\n\nWednesday found me at a table in my go-to coffee shop...The Bluebird Cafe in Glenwood. I moved to that little town in 1986 so I saw many familiar faces as I waited for my call. Wouldn't it be lovely if my ex-husband were to come in and say hello, only to be interrupted by the phone ringing. \"Oh, my gosh! Sorry, I have to take this...it's the NYTimes calling for my interview. SO good to see you! Kiss, kiss!\" (Sorry, I couldn't resist that. Actually, he was thrilled for me when I shared the link with him yesterday. He's a good guy!)
\n\n\nKerry quickly put me at ease and we had a wonderful, hour-long animated conversation. We not only talked about my loss and the subsequent financial issues. We also talked about writing books and publishing. She was very gracious and offered some connections, one of which I have made. I feel like I've made another friend and I hope our paths cross again.
\n\n\nSo, here it is...the long awaited article. Kerry is a lovely writer and the photographer caught me in a pensive moment as I was listening to some of the Sisters on the Fly chat right outside the trailer door at the Denver Fly Fishing Show. The online version here went live yesterday and the print version is available on newsstands today. The article is in the finance section. There's good advice here. I hope it helps and I'm so terribly honored to have been featured.
\n\n\n\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2016-02-20T02:30:12-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/02/20/nytimes.html", "tags": ["Grief","Courage","Choices","Change","Press"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/01/23/time-to-say-goodbye.html", "title": "\"Time\" to Say Goodbye", "content_html": "\n“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”
\nPhilippians 2:3-4 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/1e74a531ae.jpg\")
No, not it IS time to say goodbye. There WAS time to say goodbye. Sometimes people write and say they didn't get a chance to say goodbye to their loved one before they died. Sometimes they write and say even though it was difficult to watch their loved one go through an extended illness, they are grateful for the time they had for saying all the things they wanted to say. I get that...and both sides of that coin suck.
\n\n\nI've given this lots of thought in the nearly three years since Mr. Virgo died. Even though I was in no way ready for what happened...I mean, how COULD you be?...and even though he was ripped away from me in a matter of three or four hours, I never felt like I didn't get a chance to say goodbye. That's because we told each other every single day, multiple times a day, just exactly how important we were to each other. We said \"I love you!\"...a LOT! We hugged and kissed and held hands. We couldn't be in the same room without touching each other. We sat on the couch and snuggled while we watched TV. We held hands while we drove. He opened doors for me. He placed his hand in the small of my back as he led me to a table in a restaurant before pulling out my chair. He helped me on and off with my coat. He wouldn't think of doing something until he checked with me first to see if I might want to go along. I know, I know...I am one of the most blessed women on the planet. I totally get that not everyone gets that kind of treatment. I know there are a lot of people out there who never get to experience that kind of love in their whole lifetime. But, I'd like to think we can all improve our connection with our partner. I'd love to think we can deepen our level of intimacy and achieve better communication with our loved ones. I'm also not so naïve as to think it's easy or even possible for everyone.
\n\n\nLove is a two way street. I went through a horribly painful divorce that I can't help but feel might have been avoided had we gone for counseling a long time before it fell apart. And if it couldn't have saved the relationship, it could have at least eased us through the dissolution of it. I think it would be extremely helpful if everyone met with some sort of marital counsellor, be it clergy or secular, every five years of a relationship. Just to touch base. Kind of like the 30,000 mile tuneup you give your car. A time to reconnect, re-evaluate, renew...recommit.
\n\n\nWe don't like to ask the difficult questions in a relationship because we fear what the answer will be. But if we don't, we can end up living life in an unfulfilling relationship. As painful as a divorce is to go through, I would much rather have known how unhappy Hubby #2 was five years before it actually fell apart. That was five years we couldn't get back. Five unproductive, frustrating, angry, sad years that we could have spent healing and moving on instead of putting a doily on the elephant in the room and calling it a table.
\n\n\nThese are the lessons we learn in life. The \"hindsight is 20/20\" moments. These are the things I wish someone would have talked to me about in the early years of my marriage. I didn't really have a mentor to show me how to be a good partner in a relationship. How to be a good wife. How to be a good mother. I, like so many, muddled through the best I could till I finally figured it out. Maybe that's the way it's supposed to be. Every single thing I went through in my life made me exactly who I am today. And God has had my life planned out long before I was even a blip in the universe. And, while many of the things I've gone through were decidedly unpleasant, there are just as many that I wouldn't have traded for anything in the world. It's been a beautiful balance...a lovely journey....a delightful dance that has written the story of my life. One for which I am hugely grateful.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2016-01-23T02:30:34-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/01/23/time-to-say-goodbye.html", "tags": ["Family","Grief","Courage","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/12/26/on-my-way.html", "title": "On My Way", "content_html": "\n“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,”
\nJames 1:19 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/d82aca4190.jpg\")
There have been many times in my life when I felt lost. I spoke the words into the universe and it became so. I believed it. And...there have been times when I was truly lost. I had no sense of direction. I was depressed, hurt, angry, grief stricken. Like the first year after losing Mr. Virgo. \"Lost\" doesn't begin to describe what I was going through. I was the walking dead. The second year was worse but only because I was awake and aware I was walking through fire. The third year has brought many awakenings and amazing discoveries.
\n\n\nI've made a new best friend. She's kind and caring. She's smart and capable. She's funny and tender. She's a little crazy, but in a really good way. She's brave. She's so very brave. She's assertive but not aggressive. She's flighty but still dependable if you don't mind her flexible schedule and her personal interpretation of time. She's fiercely loyal yet when she's done, she's done. She's really creative and wants to learn new things. She's not very patient. And she's kinda stubborn. I met her on the top of a mountain in Colorado. She was sitting there, really quiet, like she had been waiting on me forever. She was SO excited when I saw her and introduced myself. I swear, she hasn't stopped talking since. She has so much to tell me about herself that some days all I can do is listen. Her words tumble out in an animated cacophony of thoughts. I have to laugh at her some times because she interrupts me and forces me to pay attention, like my baby did when she was two. She pisses me off sometimes because she calls in the middle of the night and wakes me up with new ideas or maybe a worry or two. But, I love her. I love her more than I thought I ever could. I see her every day. Our shadows are identical. She's that amazing woman I see in the mirror. She's who I am becoming. I am not lost. I am on my way.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2015-12-26T02:30:58-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/12/26/on-my-way.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Growth","Wisdom","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/12/24/a-poem-to-mr-virgo.html", "title": "A Poem to Mr. Virgo", "content_html": "\n“For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”
\n1 Corinthians 13:12-13 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/9e60309d3c.jpg\")
I wrote this poem the first Christmas after losing Mr. Virgo. It had been just a little over nine months since his sudden death. I was broken in a million pieces. I asked my daughter the other day where I spent that Christmas and she said it was with her. I have no memory of that. I remember sitting with Santa in early December and asking him for a new heart. I remember I put up my tree and it took every bit of strength I had. I remember mattress surfing for a couple of days afterward. That's about it.
\n\n\nI found the poem while editing the book and decided to share it again for Christmas Eve. Even though I'm not as lost as I was when I wrote it, I wouldn't change one word. If you are in the throes of grief, or even if you're down the road a ways but still struggling with the holidays, my prayer is that my writing affords you some comfort. I had a scare yesterday when a friend texted me that she wasn't sure but it sounded like one of our mutual friends and classmates had passed away. It turned out it was her mother, which is sad of course. It just brings home the point that we are never, ever prepared for loss. Loss is loss, no matter how long you've known it was coming. While I am saddened for her loss, I was greatly relieved it was not my friend.
\n\n\nBlessings to you this Christmas Eve. May you remember the Reason for the Season and give the reins over so you don't have to carry all this by yourself. You are never, ever alone when you have God in your life.
It's Christmas Time in Heaven\nby Ginny McKinney\n\nIf only I'd have known\nYour days on Earth were few,\nI'd have spent each waking moment\nOf my life with you.\n\nI would have taken pictures\nTo mark each passing day\nThen I could see you when I want\nSince you have gone away.\n\nI know you're up in Heaven. \nI know you're there with God.\nI know you're there with Mom and Dad,\nBut oh, this time is hard.\n\nIt's Christmas time, my darling.\nTimes past were filled with glee.\nBut this year all I think about is\nYou're not here with me.\n\nNo sneaky shaking presents.\nThere is no hug or kiss.\nMy heart just feels so empty.\nIt's you I really miss.\n\nIt's Christmas time in Heaven.\nI know this must be true.\nFor every day was Christmas Day \nWhen it was spent with you! \n\n❤\n\n\n
\n\n\n", "date_published": "2015-12-24T02:30:52-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/12/24/a-poem-to-mr-virgo.html", "tags": ["Grief","Courage","Memories"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/12/16/love-joy.html", "title": "Love \u0026 Joy", "content_html": "\n“I thought about the former days, the years of long ago; I remembered my songs in the night. My heart meditated...”
\nPsalm 77:5-6 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/9acc2ef096.jpg\")
I am so blessed. I have the love of family and friends. I have a tiny home on wheels that's paid for. I have a reliable vehicle. I have skills and the abilities I need to support myself. I have a sense of adventure. I have a God that loves me and will see me through anything. And, I have the love of a wonderful man that I can feel every day...all the way from heaven.
\n\n\nI was standing in the kitchen yesterday having a spirited discussion about politics. Yes...me. The person who has always avoided political discussions much like one might avoid kissing your weird Uncle Charlie on the lips....probably harmless in the long run but definitely distasteful. We covered myriad topics from global warming to current events in the Middle East. From abortion to gun control. I have never been capable of fighting my way out of a paper bag with both hands and a flashlight. Yet, here I was...by golly, I was holding my own. I wasn't upset. I didn't feel stupid. I had opinions and I expressed them eloquently. I am not kidding when I tell you I could not have done this before...even as late as this time last year.
\n\n\nOne of the biggest changes in my life has been finding my voice. I never really knew how I felt about things, at least enough to feel confident in my opinions, until I started this grief journey. It took writing every day and getting positive feedback on a regular basis. It took being away on the road, by myself and with diverse groups, to get away from the influence of those whose opinions I trusted more than my own. I feel more of a whole person now. I trust my own mind. I can bring more to the table than the ability to throw a great party or get the stains out of my tea towels. I was telling someone the other day that much of what I have learned in the last 57 months is what most people learn in their 20's and 30's. It has been an amazing path full of mountains and valleys. Learning to use the obstacles along the way as stepping stones instead of stumbling blocks is a valuable skill.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2015-12-16T02:30:10-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/12/16/love-joy.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Growth","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/11/12/bravery.html", "title": "Bravery", "content_html": "\n““Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.””
\nMatthew 11:28-30 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/a252785dad.jpg\")
This rarely happens. I woke up this morning and didn't like my post. I've deleted it and I'm starting over. If you've seen it, I quoted Francis Bacon about light vs. dark. In the light of day, I didn't like the quote and didn't think it fit my thoughts well.
\n\n\nI meditate in many ways. Prayer is my greatest meditation. My central focus in life is God and the time I spend communicating with Him is my source of peace. I also like guided meditation as a way to focus and work on areas of my life that aren't working for me. It's part of that suiting up and showing up thing.
\n\n\nWe are what we believe. If we believe we are worthy, then we treat ourselves with the respect that reflects that belief. One of my core beliefs stems from back when I was married to a doctor. My belief became, \"I will never have the earning power he has.\" What that grew into was fear. Fear of being unable to provide for myself and my needs. And that drives choices in my life. Turning \"I can't\" into \"I can\" or even \"It's possible\" changes your whole mindset. I'm working on it.
\n\n\nWe are all just works in progress, aren't we? We stumble, we fall, we get back up, we get knocked down...but we get back up. That's the key. We keep getting back up. Getting up every day and fighting on when things are a struggle is bravery.
\n\n\n❤
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2015-11-12T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/11/12/bravery.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/10/30/encouragement.html", "title": "Encouragement", "content_html": "\n“Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”
\nHebrews 4:16 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/2ac9081002.jpg\")
We all need to be encouraged on this road of life. Some have a smooth course. Others fraught with potholes and peril. Some coast merrily along while others struggle up the toughest, steepest roads making the slightest progress. I pray, every single day, over my keyboard. I pray that God will bring me the words He needs me to say and the people who need to hear them. God knows all things. He knows when this writer needs encouragement, as well. He sent Sue to tell me she sends my posts to her ailing husband. He sent me her ailing husband so that I might have the opportunity to minister to him. The enormity of this responsibility is not lost on me and I pray I am worthy of the task. I cannot write God's words. But I can share what the Holy Spirit moves me to say. So, here goes...
\n\n\nBrave Warrior...
\n\n\nHe sees your struggles. He knows your pain. Speak to Him in the stillness of the sleepless night. Cry out for Him when you lose your way in your struggles. Ours is a mighty foe but one which cannot ever take you away from Him. He is the Truth, and the Light. He is the Way. He will comfort you and carry you all the days of your life and when those days are spent, He will cleave you unto Him as a mother coddles her nursling. You need only ask and He will bear your burdens. He will hold you, and those who love you, and guide you through what only He knows is yet to come. Do not be afraid. Rest in Him, Brave Warrior, for He sees in you the spark of life. He will breathe His breath upon it. Only He can set you free.
\n\n\nAmen
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2015-10-30T01:30:56-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/10/30/encouragement.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Comfort","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/10/26/joy.html", "title": "Joy", "content_html": "\n“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
\nIsaiah 41:10\n
When you are actively grieving, you are quite certain you will never, ever feel joy again. I had a deep instinct just three days after losing Mr. Virgo. I had stopped at the local bookstore to buy a book on grief. The only thing I knew was what I had experienced losing my grandparents and my mom. I had read a few articles by Elizabeth Kübler Ross. It didn't matter. I could have had a PhD in Psychology and I still wouldn't have been any better prepared to lose the love of my life. The books and articles meant nothing to me. I couldn't relate, mainly because I was in shock and couldn't relate to much of anything in the world.
\n\n\nIn the wee, dark hours of the third day, I was clutching my iPad to my chest, curled in a fetal position, eyes red and swollen from crying, unable to breathe, and I knew. I knew more than anything I had to grieve my own way...organically. I was going to reach inside and look for cellular memories in how to live after loss. I was going to allow myself the indulgences and mistakes and agonizing hours of wailing grief in order to make it through this. I knew I needed something joyful in front of me and that's where TOW-Wanda came in.
\n\n\nDay after day, month after month, I came further and further away from my pain and closer to my self. I'm feeling an inner shift...another layer opened, another layer mended. I'm almost settled into my digs for the winter. I'm reconnecting with family and friends, meeting new people, going out to eat and hear live music. I'm exercising, eating right, sleeping better. As soon as the weather turns cold and I'm stuck inside, my focus will turn to writing. Writing brings me great joy and peace.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2015-10-26T01:30:38-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/10/26/joy.html", "tags": ["Grief","Courage","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/10/10/fear-less.html", "title": "Fear Less", "content_html": "\n“You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands.”
\nIsaiah 55:12\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/88f789983c.jpg\")
What do you do in the afternoon when you have promised your dermatologist you won't expose 80% of your body to the strongest sun of the day? Well, you go shopping, of course! Even though I seldom buy anything, I still enjoy a girls afternoon...lunch, then wander aimlessly through cute stores.
\n\n\nIt was successful on many levels. Besides the whole girl bonding thing, there was lunch, a cute little coffee shop, and I found a really neat bracelet I HAD to have. It's a thin silver band with the word \"Fearless\" stamped on it with a card attached. \"To be fearless is to do what scares you, to take a chance, to make a change. To love again. And to get back up after you fall. To be fearless is to know your fears, but never let them stop you.\"
\n\n\nThis resonated with me and I bought the little band to wear on the same wrist as my feather tattoo. My tattoo reminds me that my burdens are as light as a feather because God carries them for me. It seemed to fit.
Along toward the end of the our shopping excursion, we were in one of the last shops and I saw a coffee mug with \"Fear Less\" on it. It made me stop dead in my tracks. This is different...a totally different play on words that gives being fearless a whole new meaning.
I do not have to go out there and try to be without fear. But I CAN strive to fear LESS. That is a realistic goal that will benefit me far more than trying to attain the unattainable. Now, when I look at my new bracelet, I will see two words instead of one....Fear Less.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2015-10-10T01:30:07-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/10/10/fear-less.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Fear","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/10/02/hurricane-joaqun.html", "title": "Hurricane Joaquín", "content_html": "\n“You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day,”
\nPsalm 91:5\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/8bbdde330a.jpg\")
Here are the current \"predictions\" of the path of the hurricane that has been pounding the Bahamas. Actually, I think it's from a satirical news site, the point being...only God knows what's going on with this situation and He's not telling. It started raining steady around 5:00 last night and it got quite cool. I think we will miss a direct hit but it is still too early to tell in the meantime, lunch yesterday with friends and dinner last night with other friends. Planning a hurricane party if need be. We bought extra supplies today. In the meantime, the rain on the roof is divine!
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2015-10-02T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/10/02/hurricane-joaqun.html", "tags": ["Hope","Camping","Courage","Friends"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/09/25/attitude-of-gratitude.html", "title": "Attitude of Gratitude", "content_html": "\n“But there are many people here and it is the rainy season; so we cannot stand outside...”
\nEzra 10:13\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/4fac1b7593.jpg\")
Yesterday had God written all over it. As we saw in yesterday's post, it was the one year anniversary of my Bohemian life on the road. TOW-Wanda and I have logged thousands of miles as I've navigated the hollows of my heart. I awoke yesterday and set out to spend the day with an attitude of gratitude.
\n\n\nI drove across the Appalachian mountains under wispy thin clouds. The trees are preparing for their annual autumn review with the same anxious trepidation of a new bride waiting to step out in her wedding finery. The air was hushed with the anticipation of the riot of color about to be splashed over these ancient hills. As I navigated the kiss-me-Kate turns, I listened to Yo Yo Ma's \"Unaccompanied Cello\". That particular album evokes fall for me. Classical music is the backdrop for many autumn trips to Explore Bookseller in Aspen for my usual stack of winter reading material. I hear the lonesome strains of those strings and my mind takes me to walks over crunchy leaf covered sidewalks, cool crisp air, mugs of steaming cider, flannel shirts, long denim skirts, warm leather boots...pumpkins on the doorsteps. Yo Yo Ma breathes fall's goodness into me.
\n\n\nI was driving through Elkins, WV...home of a wonderful Liberal Arts College...Davis & Elkins. It is a revived town listed as one of the top 100 art towns in the country. I love Elkins. As I drove through, I felt the now familiar hand of Spirit guiding me. I must have pulled over four times till I finally found what He wanted me to see. Hiawatha. A 15' statue in front of a souvenir shop I've blithely driven by no less than 100 times in the 37 years they've been open. I dutifully stopped the car and went in.
\n\n\nShe was a tiny thing, standing behind the counter beckoning me in with a warm hello. \"Can I help you?\" What do you say in a case like this? \"Nah, hang on...you're about to have a God moment\"? No...these things have to play themselves out in their own way. I'm just the messenger.
\n\n\nAfter moseying around the shop a bit, I found myself standing in front of her telling her the story of losing Mr. Virgo. She reacted as many do...gasp, hand to mouth, eyes widen. And this time, as so often happens, tears began to course down her face. She quietly told me this week marks two years since...wait for it...her husband dropped dead of a heart attack right in front of her. Stunned silence for only a moment before I found my way around the counter and took her into my embrace. We are sisters of a different sort.
\n\n\nWe both have scars on our hearts. We wear a secret code only others on this particular path understand. We are kindred spirits...both members of a club we did not ask to join. It was God who led me to her to share that moment of grief together in a souvenir store in Small Town America. I had nothing more important to do than to stand in that store for an hour and minister to this woman who is feeling that same sense of dread and pain that I went through six months ago as I approached the second Angelversary of my own husband's death.
\n\n\nGod works in mysterious ways. One of the most profound effects of this journey has been the opening of my heart, my mind, my ears to His voice. I go where He tells me. And yesterday, He touched two lives by bring our souls together for comfort. It was a beautiful day. It was God's day.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2015-09-25T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/09/25/attitude-of-gratitude.html", "tags": ["Faith","Grief","Gratitude","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/09/24/free-spirit.html", "title": "Free Spirit", "content_html": "\n\"My mouth will speak words of wisdom; the meditation of my heart will give you understanding.”
\nPsalm 49:3\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/f96546ca87.jpg\")
Today is a big day for me. Today marks one year living as a Wandering Road Queen! I closed on my house and traded in little TOW-Wanda for TOW-Wanda Grande and three days later I hit the road. What an amazing year this has been. Living on the family farm in the camper for three months, house sitting for six weeks in an old Victorian, then back into the camper on a bluff overlooking the Ohio River till May. The Nelsonville Music Festival was a great way to start off the summer before I headed to Colorado for three months for lots of summer fun. The Black Hills of South Dakota rounded out that segment then I headed for West Virginia arriving just before Labor Day.
\n\n\nI've learned a lot this year. I've met lots of really cool people. I've seen lots of really cool places. I've done lots of really cool things. I've heard more live music this year than I have in all my life. I've learned I'm much, much stronger than I ever dreamed I was. I lived with no running water for 5 months with -25 wind chill. I navigated a difficult relationship with as much dignity and grace as I could muster and came out speaking to each other still. I realized I can live a dream, I can lose a dream, and I can change to a new dream. I discovered just how young 62 feels. I learned new skills and revived old ones. I learned to kayak. I got back on my bike. I took pickleball lessons.
\n\n\nI LIVED.
\n\n\nI spent years...decades of my life knowing this Free Spirit was within me. This year she came out to play. This year was a huge year of growth.
Thank you GOD for letting me live this beautiful life! Thank you Ranchers for riding shotgun and sending your beautiful prayers and love light to shine on my path.
Here's to a new year on the road!!!
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2015-09-24T01:30:08-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/09/24/free-spirit.html", "tags": ["Camping","Growth","Gratitude","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/09/23/friendship.html", "title": "Friendship", "content_html": "\n“Therefore, say to the Israelites: ‘I am the Lord, and I will bring you out from under the yoke of the Egyptians. I will free you from being slaves to them, and I will redeem you with an outstretched arm and with mighty acts of judgment.”
\nExodus 6:6\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/831e8a69e3.jpg\")
I have a muse in the form of a middle aged woman going through her own existential crisis. She found herself downsized out of a job that she had a terrific love/hate relationship with. It was the typical case of not knowing how bad you feel till you start feeling better. I love her tremendously. She is one of my dearest friends and I have never met her in person and have only spoken to her on the phone once in the two years I've known her. We have this little mystical friendship that might change if we make it more traditional. But, maybe not. Why push it? Anyway, she and I have deep philosophical discussions. She asks the hard questions. She makes me look. She makes me think. The other day we were discussing friendship and what it means to us.
\n\n\nIt is interesting how my friends, and my relationships with them, have evolved over the years. I had a very small core of friends growing up. There weren't kids in my neighborhood my age so I played with younger kids. Even through high school, I could count my friends easily on two hands. My X-ray class was small. Then I married and moved to England. I had exactly four friends there, one of whom is my very dear friend to this day. But as life progressed, I moved, changed jobs, had babies, changed husbands, and my social circle waxed and waned. Some friendships were extremely important at the time but friends have a tendency to drift in and out of your life with the season you are in. When we are in those busy, productive, hard working, child rearing years, we have blinders on and we often find ourselves quite alone when we come out the other side.
\n\n\nThere are things that have changed as I've gotten older, as well. I've found my friends have become extremely important. My family has become even more important to me. I have many friends...much more than the four alluded to in this meme. And every single one of them touches my heart. That being said, there are things I have little tolerance for these days. I don't like drama. I don't like malicious gossip. I don't like male bashing. I am selective as to who I let in my tribe. And I am content and secure in our love for each other. It's a beautiful time to be alive.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2015-09-23T01:30:22-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/09/23/friendship.html", "tags": ["Strong Women","Courage","Choices","Friends"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/09/22/hindsight.html", "title": "Hindsight", "content_html": "\n\"Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”
\nJohn 15:13\n
You know the saying...\"Hindsight is 20/20\"? I had an interaction with a husband at the Country Living Fair that initially set my teeth on edge but now that I've had time to think about it, I wish I would have handled it differently. So, here's an open letter to that husband. (I know not all husbands are like this, but there are many who are. If you aren't, good on you. If you are, listen up!)
\n\n\nDear Husband,
\n\n\nThe other day when you were looking at our trailers at Country Living Fair, you overheard us talking about Sisters on the Fly. You were puzzled when we said we go without men.
\n\n\n\"But, you NEED a man to pull something that big!\"
\n\n\n\"It's only 19 feet.\" I replied. \"I pull a 30 footer all by myself.\"
\n\n\n\"Well, MY wife couldn't do that. She needs me to do those things for her!\"
\n\n\nSigh.
\n\n\nMy initial response was incredulity (carefully hidden, of course) that you didn't think your wife could do anything. Then I looked over at her peeking in the trailer with a serene smile on her face. How could she stand to be treated this way? That's when it hit me. She knows you better than I do. You didn't seem an aggressive, bullying sort. Your reaction seemed more chivalrous than controlling. I realize now that she understands your love language. Your way of expressing your love for her is to do \"manly\" things for her so you feel useful. Her love language for you is to let you feel like the knight in shining armor. But, there's an inherent danger in this that neither of you may realize.
\n\n\nWhat happens when the knight in shining armor falls off his horse or dies? Who's going to take care of the little woman after you're gone? Believe me, I have talked with hundreds of women whose grief is compounded by their fear because they don't know how to do anything \"manly\". Yes, in 2015! With that in mind, let me offer you some friendly advise.
\n\n\n1) If you truly love your wife, wouldn't you want her to feel strong and capable to do anything in case something happens to you and you can't do it or if you die and leave her alone? Make sure she knows how to operate the tools and machinery necessary to care for her home and vehicle should she need to.
\n\n\n2) If you have a travel trailer or motorhome, make sure she knows how to hookup and unhook, back up, operate everything, and drive or tow. You might throw your back out flipping burgers or you might drop dead of a heart attack. She needs to know how to get out of a mess. She also might want to continue the RV lifestyle after you are gone and it will be so much easier for her to make that decision if she is armed with knowledge.
\n\n\n3) Please don't be threatened if she wants to go off with the girls pulling her little trailer behind her. She needs her sisters...her tribe. Because there may come a time when you aren't there for her and she is going to need all the support, love, strength, courage, and encouragement she can get. Sisters on the Fly is just one of the options she has to get that support from other women. She NEEDS this...don't deprive her by your own insecurity. Trust me, we don't sit around the campfire and talk bad about you. We sit around the campfire and talk about the best kind of chainsaw to get or which truck has the best rear axle ratio for towing or how to make the best martini or any number of subjects. Or we just laugh ourselves silly over anything that strikes our funny bone. The last thing we want to do on our down time is to bash you. Ain't nobody got time for that!
\n\n\n4) We've got badges to earn. We want to learn how to cook in a Dutch oven or ride a horse or fly fish. We have stuff to do. Girl stuff. Stuff you don't understand. We need to decorate our trailers. You have a man cave? We have \"She Sheds\". Don't have a nutty if we want to paint the wood interior pastel colors and hang a chandelier and lace curtains. Or decorate it like a 50's diner or a cowgirl's bunkhouse. To you, it's just camping. To us, it's the playhouse of our dreams. Our sanctuary. Our safe place. Our path to girlhood. And trust me on this as well...we are infinitely more willing to participate in life with you when we've had a little girl time. If you are a smart man, and I know you are, you will understand this and not make your wife feel bad for leaving you and the kids and the dog behind for a few days. It won't kill you to warm up mac and cheese or a frozen pizza. And remember, \"Happy wife, happy life.\"
\n\n\nLife is short, guys. Statistics show you die before us gals. Please understand, we are capable creatures. We know how to do stuff. We may make you think we don't or can't, but most of us do and can. All we need is the skill set needed and we can do anything we want. Really.
\n\n\nSincerely,
\n\n\nThe Widow Who Knows
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2015-09-22T01:30:56-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/09/22/hindsight.html", "tags": ["Family","Strong Women","Camping","Courage","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/09/17/reflections.html", "title": "Reflections", "content_html": "\n\"So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.\"
\nMatthew 7:12\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/7726cc753c.jpg\")
I sit out on the deck and stare at this river...a lot. It's got good energy. It's my meditation. It has become my refuge, my cathedral, my heart. Sometimes I work on stuff in my head. Sometimes I write these blog posts because I feel inspired by the beauty. But most times I just reflect. Like the mirror image of the far banks, I look at the scrapbooks of my life. I can leave the bad parts alone. I can stay in the pleasant parts as long as I want. It's soothing. It's healing. It is life.
\n\n\nI try not to have regrets but it's not easy sometimes. There are things I would do differently, certainly. But really, for the most part, I'm happy with my life. It is what it is. It is mine. I am who I am. There have been times in my life when it was important to consider where I want to be in a year...five years...ten. Not any more. I'm happy to be right where I am.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2015-09-17T01:30:20-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/09/17/reflections.html", "tags": ["Health","Gratitude","Courage","Insight"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/09/16/seeking-approval.html", "title": "Seeking Approval", "content_html": "\n\"The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.\"
\nPsalm 23:1-4\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/13c69b6e91.jpg\")
I spent countless years and a number of relationships trying to find my dad's love and approval. When I couldn't get it from him, I tried to get it from other men. I'll never forget my therapist pointing out it was futile to have a different history with my dad than the one I actually had. I have been told by others how my dad spoke so glowingly of me. I saw how the congregation packed into the church for his funeral and sang his praises of being such a good man. I wish I could have known that guy because that's not the guy I grew up with. It wasn't for my lack of trying. He just couldn't be who I wanted (and needed) him to be. Neither could my first two husbands. Then Mr. Virgo came along. He gave me everything I needed and then some. It took awhile, but finally my fear of abandonment and my need for approval subsided.
\n\n\nI think age and circumstance has diminished my NEED to be liked. Ummmmm...ok, I don't worry about it nearly as often as I used to. Alright...I'm working on it! Ok? lol I try to focus on pleasing God and seeking HIS approval. That's all that really matters to me in the long run.
Isn't it funny how some people get this...and there are others to whom the entire concept is totally foreign to them? That's what I love about \"The Ranch\". No matter what, there's SOMEONE out there that's going through the same thing and there's comfort knowing A) You're not alone! and B) You're not crazy! It's a great big ol' world out there and we have far more similarities than differences. And I am ever grateful you are here.
❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2015-09-16T01:30:45-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/09/16/seeking-approval.html", "tags": ["Family","Comfort","Forgiveness","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/09/14/control.html", "title": "Control", "content_html": "\n\"Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.\"
\nGalatians 1:10\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/f18d56ee91.jpg\")
\"Houston, we've had a problem here.\" When Jack Swigert radioed this message to Ground Control, he and his fellow astronauts must have felt completely out of control. Fortunately for them, there was a whole team of engineers back home who worked feverishly to jury rig a solution before the space capsule ran out of oxygen.
\n\n\nControl is just an illusion for the most part. I mean, we can control our behaviors, our choices, maybe parts of our environment. There ARE areas of life where we can exert some control. But most of the time we are at the mercy of circumstance. So, what is this issue of control so many of us have? Just Friday I had nuclear meltdown over going out on the boat and not \"having control of my environment\". And yesterday? Well, I spent six hours out on that same boat with those same people and I was perfectly fine. What was the difference? I was the same person yesterday as I was Friday. The difference was relaxation, positive self-talk, and understanding friends who supported me by reassuring me if there were any need whatsoever, they could easily pull to shore. It's not like we were going to be out in the middle of the ocean, after all. I had a glorious day watching the sternwheel races then dancing for two hours, on said boat, as we sat alongside the barge housing the stage for a great band. Afterwards, we went upriver to see the locks so they could show me how they work.
\n\n\nControl. We honestly have very little. We delude ourselves into thinking we do. Especially those of us who grew up in volatile homes. My father was an alcoholic and unpredictable. I had relationships filled with argument. Then the ultimate...even though I was medically trained for just such an emergency, I could not save my husband's life when he had a massive heart attack right in front of me. In my experience, bad things happen to Ginny when she doesn't have control. As humans, we are programmed to avoid pain. Therefore, feeling out of control creates fear and anxiety in me. The fact that I totally KNOW it's in my head and 99% of the time I am not in real danger drives me buggy and makes me feel like a failure.
\n\n\nI know...I've built a clock to tell you what time it is. The bottom line is this. I am not perfect. Tension is created when I think I SHOULD be. Relaxation comes when I rest inside my imperfect self, remember the Fourth Agreement, and say...\"You did your best today.\" Can I hear an \"Amen\"?
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2015-09-14T01:30:04-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/09/14/control.html", "tags": ["Fun","Growth","Comfort","Forgiveness","Courage","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/09/11/never-forget.html", "title": "Never Forget", "content_html": "\n\"We all stumble in many ways. Anyone who is never at fault in what they say is perfect, able to keep their whole body in check.\"
\nJames 3:2\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/cd93cf9ac2.jpg\")
Like most people, I know exactly where I was the day the world stopped turning. I was waiting for a friend in the local bakery. She walked in and said, \"Did you hear something about a plane hitting one of the buildings of the World Trade Center?\" We knew nothing more and chalked it up to rookie pilot error with a small plane and set to visiting. Then more and more people came in with news. We turned on the radio and as details began to reveal the seriousness of the situation, we went our separate ways. I went straight to a friend's house and we watched together, holding onto each other with one hand...the other clasped over our mouths to stifle the screams.
\n\n\nLife as we new it changed in the breath of a New York minute. We became one people. We were softer...gentler with each other. We grieved as if it were our own family members dying in the rubble of what once stood mighty. We became resolved as a nation to pull together and get through this. We hugged strangers on the street. And now look at us. We haven't been so far apart in 50 years. Where did the love go? What happened to our compassion? I don't mean, you...and me. I'm referring to the collective we. Division is what the enemy seeks. Confusion is his realm. Go out today and take it back. Take the world and its people back into your loving embrace because, if we don't turn this around and reunite as one, all those beautiful, promising lives lost are lost in vain. They are further gone from us. Go out today and embrace the world and her people. Spread a little love wherever you go. And never, ever forget.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2015-09-11T01:30:34-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/09/11/never-forget.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Courage","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/08/17/at-summers-end.html", "title": "At Summer's End", "content_html": "\n\"Come now, let’s make a covenant, you and I, and let it serve as a witness between us.”
\nGenesis 31:44\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/24803de9b7.jpg\")
Well, here we are...the end of summer vacation. I have one more week in Colorado and I'm spending it off in the mountains. Some time will be spent with family and friends who are dear to me. Some will be spent on my own, way up high, where I can breathe and shed some more layers before I head east next week. This phase of grieving is much like wearing a lot of layers of clothes. When you aren't doing anything, they seem comfortable and warm. But when you get out there and start moving around, they begin to feel constricting and uncomfortable. And you can't shed a layer of grief as easily as you can a jacket. There's some effort involved. That's when I go off by myself and let stuff go. And, the letting go of these layers isn't painful like it used to be. Now it's more like doing some housekeeping and getting things in order. Just checking in to see how I'm doing and where I'm at. Recharging the batteries is good for the soul!
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2015-08-17T01:30:34-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/08/17/at-summers-end.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/08/11/adversity.html", "title": "Adversity", "content_html": "\n\"No one is to come with you or be seen anywhere on the mountain; not even the flocks and herds may graze in front of the mountain.”
\nExodus 34:3\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/3eb1fe4ae1.jpg\")
The little in pink is my youngest when she was about 5 or 6. The little on the left is her best friend, Kiersten. She moved away at the end of the 3rd grade and we didn't find each other again till last year on FB. We reconnected when I received the news that Kiersten had been in a terrible car accident up in the mountains. She broke her neck and was paralyzed from the neck down. Her mom, Patty, came from Maine to be with her.
\n\n\nAfter a week in the hospital, Kiersten was moved to Craig Rehabilitation Hospital in Denver and the grueling work began. She had 7 or 8 different types of therapy daily. Her injury turned out to be Brown-Sequard Syndrome where the spinal cord was stretched, bruised, and damaged...but not severed. Her paralysis slowly improved and she worked hard to get better. The weight training area was in the cafeteria. While others were sitting around talking after dinner, Kiersten would be over there lifting weights and working out. She was determined she would get better. And she did. She walks. She still writes with her right hand but has learned to do everything else with her left hand. Her right side gets tired more easily. But she is a walking miracle. We all learn from adversity that we are much stronger than we ever thought we were.
\n\n\nI remember this beautiful young woman when she was just a little girl having sleepovers at our house. I read to her and told her grand bedtime stories that I made up. And last night I got to have dinner with her and her mom. On my way home, Patty texted me to say Kiersten told her after I left how much she loved me when she was little. And how she remembered those stories. Strong women from loved little girls grow. Invest in our future. Treat every child as you would treat your own. I was so touched that she remembered.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2015-08-11T01:30:42-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/08/11/adversity.html", "tags": ["Health","Colorado","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Love","Courage","Memories","Littles"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/08/10/labels.html", "title": "Labels", "content_html": "\n\"I will give them an undivided heart and put a new spirit in them; I will remove from them their heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh.\"
\nEzekiel 11:19\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/ad1de6d6c5.jpg\")
I went to a frame shop many years ago to have one of my pieces framed. I'm always hesitant when I do that because it seems a bit vain to me to frame something that many would not consider \"art\". I asked the framer at what point you are considered an \"artist\". She said when other artists recognize you as one. I was crestfallen. My artistic endeavors, while valiant, are sure to fall short of such a lofty goal.
\n\n\nI was relating this story once and my high school friend, Marion (whom I consider an accomplished artist) called me on the carpet. She said \"You are an artist when you order business cards with your name and \"Artist\" underneath it. She's right, of course. But I always feel like maybe I'm cheating a little. I didn't get a degree in art. I didn't take lessons. I didn't \"pay my dues\". After all, I wouldn't call myself a doctor or a lawyer without going to medical or law school so how could I claim to be something I didn't study for? I'm not putting letters behind my name. I'm expressing my identity. I create artistically...whether it's via pastels or antique silverware jewelry or the written word. Besides, no one has to justify who they are.
\n\n\nLive boldly and tell the world who you are.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2015-08-10T01:30:14-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/08/10/labels.html", "tags": ["Courage","Choices","Art"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/08/04/closure.html", "title": "Closure", "content_html": "\n\"Do you see someone skilled in their work? They will serve before kings; they will not serve before officials of low rank.\"
\nProverbs 22:29\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/3db9d29eee.jpg\")
A couple of nights ago, we were at dinner and Little was talking about her Papa. I told her the story about how we chose the cemetery because it was actually on a golf course. She stopped me with a stern look, hand on her hip, and asked why I hadn't taken them there yet. The girls didn't come to the cemetery for the burial because Mom and Dad were worried about the military gun salute scaring them. So, yesterday after breakfast, we went to the store and bought flowers to lay at the grave.
\n\n\nLittle was very brave. She is my tender hearted one. She placed the flowers. They both placed a stone at the edge of the grave and then she wanted to talk about him. We looked at the surroundings, talked about how much Papa loved golf. We checked out the little stones and trinkets people had left for him. And then the inevitable lip quiver and I knew she was ready to share her grief and gain some closure.
\n\n\nShe looked down and said, \"Nana, you know…he's not really gone. Just part of him. It was just his body that died.\" Then she asked me about HOW he died. It was the first time we talked about the specifics. I was honest without getting into the gory details. She sobbed and got it out and regained her composure rather quickly. I'm glad we had that moment together. I hope it helped her as much as it helped me.
\n\n\nLittle ones need closure as much as we big ones do.
\n\n\n❤
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2015-08-04T01:30:54-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/08/04/closure.html", "tags": ["Family","Grief","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/08/01/the-semicolon-project.html", "title": "The Semicolon Project", "content_html": "\n\"You will surely forget your trouble, recalling it only as waters gone by. Life will be brighter than noonday, and darkness will become like morning. You will be secure, because there is hope; you will look about you and take your rest in safety.\"
\nJob 11:16-18\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/a8815c7118.jpg\")
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/9bf158d447.jpg\")
I was sitting with my older daughter and her friend the other night talking about mental illness and how so many issues of today are losing their negative social stigmas. We've come a long way since those dark days when depression and anxiety cast a pall over our house. So, we want to do our part to bring mental health issues into the light of day where we can talk and love and heal.
\n\n\nIf you aren't familiar with The Semicolon Project, then Google it. A semicolon is placed where an author could have ended the story, but chose not to. If you see someone with a semicolon tattoo, ask them about it. Give them a hug. Thank them for being brave. Tell them you love them. As my contribution to the conversation, I am going with friends next Friday to get my own semicolon tattoo. I am also altering my feather tattoo and turn it into a quill pen since I am a writer. My feather reminds me that my burdens are as light as a feather because God carries them for me. So, since you all are a huge part of my life and the reason I am here, I would like to include you in the decision making process of placement. \"B\" is aesthetically pleasing but since the writing came after the pause, perhaps \"A\" is more appropriate. Please vote \"A\" or \"B\" in the comments. Also, please feel free to share your semicolon tattoo if you have one and share your story if you feel comfortable.
\n\n\nThank you all so much for all your love and support!!!
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2015-08-01T01:30:09-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/08/01/the-semicolon-project.html", "tags": ["Health","Family","Growth","Courage","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/07/31/wake-it-up-shake-it.html", "title": "Wake it Up, Shake it Up!", "content_html": "\n\"Some will say, ‘I belong to the Lord ’; others will call themselves by the name of Jacob; still others will write on their hand, ‘The Lord’s,’ and will take the name Israel.\"
\nIsaiah 44:5\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/c010d50eb3.jpg\")
I love live music. I love listening to groups I have never heard and discovering something new through their music. The other day it was Rage Against the Machine with Killing in the Name Of. Wednesday night it was SHEL, a group consisting of four sisters with their tremendous harmonies that you commonly find in siblings. They are quirky, fun, and delightfully different. Last night it was Biff Gore who was on Season 6 of The Voice with a great dance band. Dancing to live music is liberating. It releases something primal in us. We become the hunter/gatherers around the campfire seeking community with those around us. We get lost in the rhythm of our people. It's joyful. It plants our feet on the earth. We step out of our comfort zone of the treadmill we're on and join in.
\n\n\nI was chatting with a longtime friend the other night and she shared a post with me from T. D. Jakes Ministries. In it, the pastor is giving a commencement address about stepping out of your comfort zone. He said before anything great can be achieved, your comfort zone must be disturbed. The friend that shared this uses a Segway for mobility. She is an inspiration in that she gets up and moves on when others would have sat down in a wheelchair long ago. Now she is being asked to speak in front of high school groups about continuing on in the face of adversity. She's scared to death to speak in front of people. But she recognizes this as a God thing. She is being called to a higher purpose so she's reaching down deep and giving that comfort zone a mighty twist.
\n\n\nRight on, KD! Even a caged bird sings.
\n\n\n❤
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2015-07-31T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/07/31/wake-it-up-shake-it.html", "tags": ["Courage","Choices","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/07/17/kindness.html", "title": "Kindness", "content_html": "\n\"Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.\"
\nHebrews 4:16\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/c14ecc14a9.jpg\")
I dread election year. We are already experiencing the slings and arrows of misfortune…do we have to add the barbs and daggers of divisiveness? I don't discuss politics on Facebook. I know what I believe. I respect that others believe differently. This is the foundation our country was based on. Brotherly love. We can disagree without being unkind. The rhetoric is already bad out there. The name calling, the personal attacks, the discrimination…I hate it. The advent of social media has allowed public discourse without the governor that face-to-face interaction provides. We no longer have to look the other person in the eye when we slam them, degrade them, mock them, deride them. It is unseemly and inhumane. It is uncivilized. It scares me because you can't put smoke back in a bottle. There is only one way to create change and that is to BE the change.
\n\n\nA few years ago, my kids were really hurt and angry with me surrounding my divorce from Hubby #2. My oldest said something really snotty to me, in front of a bunch of people…including her young daughter. And here is how I handled it. I turned to my daughter and calmly said, \"I have to own your treatment of me because I trained you how to do it. I spoke ill of my mother in front of you when you were growing up so how could you have learned the proper respect a parent deserves? But let me explain something to you. As we sit here and you speak to me this way in front of your young daughter, you are in turn training her how to treat you some day. You just think about that.\"
\n\n\nKindness costs nothing. Love is free. Practice Peace. And remember, children learn by what they see.
\n\n\n❤
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2015-07-17T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/07/17/kindness.html", "tags": ["Hope","Forgiveness","Courage","Choices","Kindness"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/07/11/storms.html", "title": "Storms", "content_html": "\n\"Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it.\"
\nPsalm 34:14\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/64af4809da.jpg\")
There are a lot of storms in life. You would be hard pressed to find anyone who could honestly say they had been untouched by calamity. Some people suffer storm after storm and never seem to catch a break. Others are ducks bobbing in a pond and nothing seems to touch them. But you simply cannot weather the storm of grief without coming out the other side a changed person (not that there IS an \"other side\"…it's more a case of the clouds parting…for longer and longer intervals.)
\n\n\nJust as in nature, lightning flashes, thunder crashes, and grief rains all over you….soaking you to the skin. You get washed away in the rising flood with regularity until you learn to take your boots and your raincoat and your umbrella. And maybe a boat. It takes a long time for you to remember you even HAVE those things. In most cases, you have to find new ones because the old ones don't work anymore.
\n\n\nI was looking through my phone yesterday and came across my favorite picture of Mr. Virgo. There was a time when that would have started an uncontrollable storm the likes of which I was hard pressed to survive. But, little by little, I have gathered my rain gear about me and discovered I'm a pretty hardy sailor when put out to sea. Yesterday, I looked at that picture and smiled and thought to myself, \"He's forever 62!\" He'll never suffer the infirmities of age. He'll never have the humiliation of that colonoscopy he so dreaded. He'll never have a diagnosis of cancer or Alzheimer's. He'll never be maimed in an accident. He'll never be relegated to a wheelchair or a nursing home. No, Mr. Virgo went out at the top of his game. He was well loved, both personally and professionally. He accomplished so much in his life and had seen incredible places. He met amazing people. He parented two beautiful daughters and step-parented mine and those of his second wife. He was a Papa to my grandchildren. He had been married to two other strong, wonderful women. And he married me. He adored me. ME! Imagine that!
\n\n\nReally….what more could a person ask for in life? More time? Of course. But we made very good use of the time we were given. We certainly didn't waste one moment of it arguing…ever. And now…I can dance in the rain, splash in the puddles, and remember a beautiful love story.
\n\n\nAnd…I can smile.
\n\n\n❤
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2015-07-11T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/07/11/storms.html", "tags": ["Grief","Growth","Gratitude","Wisdom","Courage","Aging","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/06/30/namaste.html", "title": "Namaste", "content_html": "\n\"God’s voice thunders in marvelous ways; he does great things beyond our understanding. He says to the snow, ‘Fall on the earth,’ and to the rain shower, ‘Be a mighty downpour.’ So that everyone he has made may know his work, he stops all people from their labor.\"
\nJob 37:5-7\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/5734bbf63d.jpg\")
At the end of yoga practice, you put your hands together in a prayer pose, bow to the others in the room, and say \"Namaste\". It means, \"The divine in me honors the divine in you.\" You recognize the similarities between you, not the differences. There are no colors. There are no lines in the sand. There are no differences in dogma. Only the sameness of the divine spark that lives within each of us. For me, that divine spark is God. If someone else calls this spark of life by a different name, if they follow a different path, it is not my place to judge them. It is my place to love them.
\n\n\nThe same goes for differences in choices of who to love, who to marry, who to have children with if children are desired. The same goes for political orientation. I do not judge you. I love you. All of you. And, isn't that what Jesus preached? And Mohammed? And Gandhi? And Mother Theresa? Isn't that what we all want…to love and be loved? To be at peace with one another? The world is a dangerous place right now. There is so much turmoil, so much anger, so much hatred, so much confusion. Issues have come up that we had hoped were long ago put to rest. In the words of Rodney King…\"Can't we all just get along?\"
\n\n\nI make it a point not to discuss politics and the extent of my online discussion of religion is done here on the Ranch in my profession of faith, and my inclusion of Scriptures that underscore my topic of the day. I bring my thoughts to you from a place of love. I don't have an agenda other than peace and love. And that is what I wish for you today…every day. Peace and love. Namaste. Amen.
\n\n\n❤
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2015-06-30T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/06/30/namaste.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Comfort","Grace","Peace","Courage","Choices","Kindness"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/06/13/boom-there-it-is.html", "title": "Boom! There it is!!!", "content_html": "\n\"They dress the wound of my people as though it were not serious. ‘Peace, peace,’ they say, when there is no peace.\"
\nJeremiah 6:14\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/3f38d9fd83.jpg\")
The sun! It came back…outside AND inside! Just as I predicted, I was perfectly fine when I woke up yesterday even though it was still raining and grey out. But by 3:00, the sun broke through and the world was fresh and green…swept clean by the downpours of the past week.
\n\n\nThere's always going to be a stumbling block on this path. I've spent the last eight months in West Virginia…a place Mr. Virgo visited once for a week. I've been back in Colorado a week and he's around every corner. I didn't realize how much impact that would have until I lived it. I need to change my reaction. Instead of feeling grieved when I \"see\" him in familiar places, I need to feel the joy in the memories. Find the happy. The rest will take care of itself.
\n\n\nAnd…today is my birthday. I refuse to let it be \"just another day\". I think the weather will hold out and be nice. I'll either take a bike ride or kayak on the reservoir…maybe both! I'll spend time with family. There's a movie I'd like to see. I'll talk with friends. And I'll celebrate another trip around the sun. Because, without the dark moments, how could I possibly appreciate the sun?
\n\n\n❤
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2015-06-13T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/06/13/boom-there-it-is.html", "tags": ["Family","Grief","Growth","Gratitude","Courage","Choices","Be Joyful!","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/05/30/tent-city.html", "title": "Tent City", "content_html": "\n\"“Show me, Lord, my life’s end and the number of my days; let me know how fleeting my life is. You have made my days a mere handbreadth; the span of my years is as nothing before you. Everyone is but a breath, even those who seem secure.\"
\nPsalm 39:4-5\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/24a764bf5f.jpg\")
This is amazing. Every day more people come and squeeze into any available space in the campground. I've never seen anything like it! I hope to get a panoramic view of the field tomorrow. Thank GOD it hasn't rained. This field isn't referred to as \"Mudville\" for nothing! We were brilliant…we selected the family camping area so it is really quiet. At least it is right now because the late show is still going on.
\n\n\nI'm sitting outside my \"home\" as I write this. I'm trying to imagine. What if this was how we all HAD to live? Crammed together in a field. People living in makeshift tents, screen rooms, old buses and vans. Large, energy guzzling RVs and travel trailers like mine. What if this was our real home? Water and food would soon become an issue. As would sanitation. Rains would turn this lovely new-mown hay field into a boggy quagmire. Tempers would soon flair. The sense of peace and love and community created by the joint intention of the gathering would soon be lost…given away to fear and greed and envy. Fight or flight. You see it in third world countries every day. I experienced it in the jungles of Mexico many years ago.
\n\n\nAs I'm sitting here, I look at my \"home\" and I'm filled with humble gratitude. I am positively affluent! I have a clean, safe place to live. I am free to live wherever I choose. I am so very grateful for everything God has blessed me with. Truly.
\n\n\n❤
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2015-05-30T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/05/30/tent-city.html", "tags": ["Travel","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","The Grand Adventure","Gratitude","Courage","Peaceful Moments","Downsizing","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!","Widow","Road Trip"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/05/27/morning-has-broken.html", "title": "Morning Has Broken", "content_html": "\n\"Clap your hands, all you nations; shout to God with cries of joy.\"
\nPsalm 47:1\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/fa9cbd14e7.jpg\")
One more day! My friends and I hit the road tomorrow for the Nelsonville Music Festival. I'm really excited…now. Yesterday morning? Not so much. Yesterday I was overwhelmed. I had a list a mile long. I knew I needed to go out to the farm for at least one, probably two loads. I have taken several loads to the local mission. I've donated to the church resale shop. I've taken four loads to family members. A friend is keeping a couple of paintings for me as well as Mr. Virgo's wall clock. I took at least five or six truck loads to another friend for storage. I'm so grateful they have the room and offered to help me out. So, I was faced with two trips out to the farm, a couple loads of laundry, and the list.
\n\n\nThe festival will be hot and crowded. I had a picture in my mind of campers crammed together like sardines with no method of escape. Three things that have bothered me in the past…heat, crowds, no escape. Then, on top of that, I need to be fresh to head west on Monday. Too much. Too, too much. I woke up at 4:00, overheated and queasy. I promptly texted my friend and said I couldn't go. I just wanted to hit the road. And in true friend fashion, she said…well, I can't post what she said. *grin* Suffice it to say, she did what we always do to each other. She virtually grabbed me by the scruff of the neck and said, \"Cut it out!\"
\n\n\nShe was right, of course. I was feeling overwhelmed and trying to unburden myself with one of three missions coming up. I couldn't let go of the stuff at the farm. It had to be moved, no question. I couldn't let go of Colorado. I need to see my babies. So the only thing to let go of was the music festival…something I've looked forward to for five months. When your head is spinning with worry, you can get stuck there, spinning forever like a forgotten 45. Fortunately for me, I have friends who won't let me get by with that crap. I love them for that.
\n\n\nWhat totally turned my head around was when my friend said… \"Nelsonville is not your enemy. Anxiety is!\" Bam! I snapped right out of it. It's amazing what the mind can do to you.
\n\n\nAnd now? Everything is off the farm!!! Downsized even further, yet it will be pruned further still in the fall. Now I'm looking at Nelsonville as my reward…and I can't wait! Today I have a zillion things to do before we leave tomorrow. Once I get to the music festival, I'm going to kick back and chill for four days!!! Yes!!!
\n\n\n❤
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2015-05-27T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/05/27/morning-has-broken.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Choices","Road Trip"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/05/24/capable.html", "title": "Capable", "content_html": "\n\"“Have you ever given orders to the morning, or shown the dawn its place, that it might take the earth by the edges and shake the wicked out of it?\"
\nJob 38:12-13\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/d4d1f6bc9c.jpg\")
I'm counting down the days to lift off. My list is long. I have one, maybe two trips left out to the farm. Yet, I'm still finding time to play. I'm fitting in some kayaking this morning. Visiting with a friend in the afternoon. Cookout in the evening. SO much to do in the next few days and I'm feeling confident and capable.
\n\n\nThere was a time in my life when I wasn't capable of doing much of anything. If you had to come up with something good to say about my abilities back then, you might have said something like, \"Well, she breathed in and out all day without too much trouble.\" In the depth of my depression sixteen years ago, I wasn't capable of accomplishing much on a daily basis. Couple that with myriad medications and I was just going through the motions. I call those the Prozac years. I don't remember much of my forties.
\n\n\nBy the time I met Mr. Virgo, I had been off all meds for five years and was a totally different person. Yet still I didn't feel terribly self confident about my place in the world. I deferred a lot of my abilities to my husband. He was so adept at everything. I didn't have to worry my pretty little head about much of anything. Then he up and died on me and left me to figure this all out on my own.
\n\n\nSomething instinctively told me I had to travel solo to find myself. There was no one else to rely on. No one to hold me in the dark of night. Not in the physical plane, anyway. I always have God with me. And He gives me the strength to face the days…and nights…on my own. He gives me discernment. I have discovered that, with God…I truly CAN do anything. I am capable. I am strong. I am brave even when I sometimes don't feel I am.
\n\n\nThere is no way you can travel alone and not discover how capable you truly are. It is the deepest gift you can give yourself.
\n\n\n❤
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2015-05-24T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/05/24/capable.html", "tags": ["Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Forgiveness","Courage","Aging","Choices","Change","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/05/22/truth.html", "title": "Truth!", "content_html": "\n\"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.\"
\nEphesians 6:10-11\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/55b2863b2e.jpg\")
I've dabbled in dating. I'm a dating dabbler. Oh, just shoot me now and get it over with. This is absolutely NO reflection on the men I've gone out with. They are perfectly nice, handsome, fun, funny. But seriously, dating is like interviewing for a job you're not sure you want yet. I mean, how CAN you know? You go through the social niceties. You ask all the questions and you answer all of his. You circle the fire in fear and wonder. Curiosity gets the better of you. And you know what they say about curiosity. How often do you really want to interview before you figure out maybe your current gig isn't so bad after all? But, I am ever hopeful…I am an optimist.
\n\n\nEvery time I think I want to date, I put my profile out on match.com to check out the local gene pool. In a small town, I've found I'm fishing in the shallow end. Please, don't think ill of me, but seriously…if I have to read one more profile written entirely in lower case and peppered with misspelled words (as in, pashionet) I will go screaming into the night. Take Leisure Suit Larry, for instance. He's posing in front of his late model red Chevy with the headlight out, in a powder blue polyester tuxedo, complete with ruffled shirt and powder blue patent leather shoes. Oh, my. I was standing in line paying my bill at Cracker Barrel one day (ok, I'm no one to talk. I eat at Cracker Barrel. Not that there's anything inherently wrong with that. Just sayin'.) This man walks up to me to cut through the line as we were blocking the entrance to the dining room. Lo and behold, who was it but Leisure Suit Larry! He must have seen the look of recognition (and horror) on my face because he paused to really look at me. My prayers were answered when his memory banks couldn't match me to my profile picture and he moved on. I'm terrible.
\n\n\nThen there's the guy carefully posed on his sofa. Decent enough picture if it wasn't for the roll of toilet paper beside him on the end table. Either he has a terrible cold and ran out of Kleenex or he has the unfortunate luck to have a La-Z-Boy toilet in the living room. Then there's the guy quite literally posing in his boxers and t-shirt, complete with white socks. Oh, God…take me now!
\n\n\nNow, there ARE some perfectly nice men out there. I've met them and I've gone out with a couple. And, as I said, this is no reflection on them. Dating is as big a chore for them as it is for us. So, the bottom line is to have fun. If it stops being fun, I'll stop doing it. And who knows…maybe lightning DOES strike twice….or more!
\n\n\n❤
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2015-05-22T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/05/22/truth.html", "tags": ["Fun","Growth","Courage","Choices","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/05/21/its-for-a-good-cause.html", "title": "It's For a Good Cause", "content_html": "\n\"Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.\"
\n1 Corinthians 7:8-9\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/490df052ba.jpg\")
Today is Red Nose Day. This is to raise awareness of children living in poverty right here in the U.S. We live in an affluent country yet there are children going to bed hungry. Check out Red Nose Day HERE.
\n\n\n❤
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2015-05-21T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/05/21/its-for-a-good-cause.html", "tags": ["Health","Courage","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/05/18/finding-your-passion.html", "title": "Finding Your Passion", "content_html": "\n\"Because of thirst the infant’s tongue sticks to the roof of its mouth; the children beg for bread, but no one gives it to them.\"
\nLamentations 4:4\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/b07c26d0a7.jpg\")
There are things I like to do. There are things I love to do. Then there are my passions! I'm not talking about family, or jobs, or your house or garden. I'm talking about that one thing that strikes a deep chord within you and you know…in every cell down to your bones…that this is what you were born to do. It gives you a joy like no other activity, hobby, job you've ever done. Writing for Marshmallow Ranch is my passion. Last night I got to do something even greater…public speaking! I was so honored to speak at New Wineskins last night. This is a Pub Church celebrating their first birthday today.
\n\n\nIt wasn't that long ago that I could never have dreamed of going out there and speaking to people. I noticed some butterflies cropping up Saturday night. I decided to nip that in the bud by totally changing the focus. Instead of being nervous, I decided to be excited because I was going to get to tell people about my walk with Jesus!
\n\n\nSeriously, this was a beautiful evening. A relatively small group. They laughed. They cried. And I never lost them. I want to do it again!!! What an amazing night!
\n\n\n❤
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2015-05-18T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/05/18/finding-your-passion.html", "tags": ["Faith","Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/05/04/the-journey.html", "title": "The Journey", "content_html": "\n\"The Lord said to him, “Who gave human beings their mouths? Who makes them deaf or mute? Who gives them sight or makes them blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.”
\nExodus 4:11-12\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/d0742f9b55.jpg\")
I've been thinking about this journey I've been on over the last couple of years. It hasn't been a straight path by any stretch of the imagination. It's all wiggly squiggly and brings me forward then back then forward again. And along the way there are a number of doors and little secret passageways that offer distractions from the course at hand. Some are really inviting. Some are definitely marked \"Enter At Your Own Risk\". And each has a gift tucked somewhere inside. An experience. An opportunity. A lesson to be learned.
\n\n\nIt's a funny thing about the lessons of life. Sometimes we have to walk a road for a long time till we \"get it\". I've recently had a situation like that. I dutifully put on my rose-colored glasses and kept hiking. At first the path was really easy but it wasn't too long before I was scrambling up that mountain till I finally came to the end of the path and the only way out was to turn around. It's a humbling experience to admit things really weren't what they appeared. I wasn't necessarily wrong to take that particular path because I learned a lot about myself and human nature exploring that neck of the woods. Valuable lessons. We never stop learning who we are in the world.
\n\n\nIt's all a journey. We keep going down a path…until we don't. Then we head down another…and another. And at the end…we are there.
\n\n\n❤
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2015-05-04T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/05/04/the-journey.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Change","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/04/20/the-grand-adventure.html", "title": "The Grand Adventure", "content_html": "\n\"People assault the flinty rock with their hands and lay bare the roots of the mountains. They tunnel through the rock; their eyes see all its treasures. They search the sources of the rivers and bring hidden things to light.\"
\nJob 28:9-11\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/4758ef9525.jpg\")
The summer after Mr. Virgo died, I began what I referred to as \"The Grand Adventure\". Not only was I going out in the world to do and see things I had never experienced before, I was also doing it all alone…for the first time in my life. I had taken respite weekends before, but nothing like I was about to face. It was daunting and exhilarating, melancholic and joyful. It was a time of many violent shifts in my psyche, my mood, my thinking. I wasn't at all sure I could DO it…period. Let alone, do it alone. But I knew I needed to. I needed to take the first step down the path or I would never make it through the valley of death that is grief.
\n\n\nAfter buying Little TOW-Wanda and getting some obligations taken care of, I took off for the hills. I circled Colorado twice in three months and then took my oldest daughter and her family to see Mt. Rushmore. Those months alone on the road were exactly what I needed. I connected with my broken heart. I allowed myself the gut-wrenching sobs that come with that kind of pain. I explored places inside me that had never seen the light of day. It was cathartic and exhausting and allowed me to crawl out of the wreckage…at least the initial crash.
\n\n\nGrief is a crazy thing. It transforms you in ways you never, ever considered. And, as uncomfortable and painful as it is, it's an easy place to stay. It's much easier to pull the covers over your head and to be excused by society with \"Oh, poor dear…she lost her husband, don't you know.\" Complicated grief is an actual diagnosis. Every grief is different. Each person walks his/her own path. As incredible as it may seem, you can get too comfortable in your pain when moving through it seems insurmountable. After all, who looks at a fire and says \"Oh, yeah! I can walk through that!\" Especially when you can't see the other side. The thing is, there are pockets of sweetness along the path that you'll never know are there until you stumble upon them in the flames. And these sweet spots are SO worth the journey.
\n\n\nThe Grand Adventure, Part 2 saw me selling my house, drastically downsizing, and reincarnating my little 16' camper into TOW-Wanda Grande, the behemoth \"Porta Party\" that I call home. My first stop has been WV, beloved home of my youth. And, if you've been following along this whole time, you'll know the initial intent was to care for an elderly aunt on the family farm but that ended at Christmas. It's very sad that the relationship has been permanently damaged, I'm afraid. But the sweet spots inside that painful scenario brought me to the river, and to further opportunities for healing and growth. I will be forever grateful to my friends for allowing me to live on their property. It's been a scene of transformation and I am peaceful.
\n\n\nThis week will see the beginning of Part 3 as The Grand Adventure continues. A friend and I head out Tuesday for parts south. I am thrilled to see what is around the next bend and will bring you along with pictures and commentary. I wonder what delicious, juicy, excitement life will bring me next?
\n\n\n❤
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2015-04-20T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/04/20/the-grand-adventure.html", "tags": ["Travel","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","The Grand Adventure","Fun","Gratitude","goRVing","Courage","Widow","Road Trip"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/04/18/to-date-or-not-to.html", "title": "To Date or Not to Date?", "content_html": "\n\"Thus they set out from the mount of the LORD three days' journey, with the ark of the covenant of the LORD journeying in front of them for the three days, to seek out a resting place for them. The cloud of the LORD was over them by day when they set out from the camp.\"
\nNumbers 10:33-34\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/7efc71c81e.jpg\")
Who can possibly fill these shoes? This is a topic I've tap danced around some. I've dallied a little in the dating department. I've met a couple of wonderful men…men that I love dearly and consider to be close friends. I can call them day or night for company or conversation. So why don't I find myself feeling the kind of love for someone that would sustain a long term, exclusive, \"can't live without you\" relationship? I felt that love in the instant Mr. Virgo and I made eye contact. My old instincts would ask \"What's wrong with you? These are perfectly good men, kind hearted, gentle, loving, fun, funny. What are you waiting for?\" Well, it's interesting. It's like going out to photograph wildlife with poor vision. You can see the animal in your view finder, you can tell it's an animal and quite possibly that rare breed you're looking for, so you creep in closer. You step gently, stealing in quietly for a closer look. Hmmm…looks familiar, sounds familiar, acts a little like the one you're looking for. But then you get close enough to see and it's not the right one at all. The call is totally different. The coat similar but just not the same. Where did your animal go? Will you ever find another one or should you just be happy you saw one once and got a great picture of it?
\n\n\nThis is what dating has been like. Sort of like an interview for a job I'm not at all sure I really want. And at the same time I yearn for companionship. I miss hugs and holding hands and all that comes with having a significant other. I'm in Neverland. Never so sad as I was when I first lost him…never so happy as I was when I had him.
\n\n\nI'm finding an entirely different set of circumstances to consider this go 'round. I've already had three marriages and a couple of significant relationships in my life. Do I really want another one? Finances are a huge consideration now. Much bigger than when I was in my twenties. There are no guarantees in marriage. If I were to marry, I'd lose my ability to collect widow's benefits. One must be married for ten years to collect from your spouse's Social Security. If the marriage falls apart before that, and you were a stay-at-home mom who didn't contribute a lot to your SS account like I was, you're screwed, to put it bluntly. It's a dilemma many of us Boomer widows are facing. It leaves you with choices many would find unconscionable…like cohabitation. Or resignation to being alone for the rest of your life. Right now, I see merits in both scenarios. I have friends who have been widowed much longer than me and they tell me they went through the same thing but they got over it and can't imagine being in a significant relationship again.
\n\n\nI don't know. Maybe I'm just an incurable romantic. I love falling in love. I love a man's company…the security of his love and affection. Maybe there's a part of me that still feels I \"need\" a man in my life to be happy. Maybe I'm a little lonely. Maybe I'm a bit bored. Maybe I'm a tad frightened. Maybe it's only been two years since I lost Mr. Virgo and I just miss him. I'll always miss him. But I'm a pragmatist. He's not coming back. And even though those men out there don't look exactly like him when I get up close, they are worthy in their own right. I'm not ready to give up on love and companionship entirely. I just want it on my terms. So, I'll keep my options open, and keep my camera handy. You never know when the right specimen may show up in your sights. I just won't base my happiness on it. <3
\n\n\n\"In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, Lord, make me dwell in safety.\" Psalm 4:8
\n\n", "date_published": "2015-04-18T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/04/18/to-date-or-not-to.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Love","Fear","Courage","Aging","Choices","Widow","Memories","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/02/28/lightening-the-load.html", "title": "Lightening the Load", "content_html": "\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/963240397e.jpg\")
I have spent a good portion of the last couple of days responding to some lovely comments here on The Ranch since my article was published. So many new readers have come to join us on this journey. One gentleman spoke of losing his lovely wife a few years ago. They had planned to sail up and down the eastern seaboard together in the boat of their dreams. When they found she was dying, they sold the boat. Then, a month before she passed, she picked out a new boat for him. One in which she knew he would be safe carrying out their life's dream. What really touched me was, when he has overwhelming feelings of grief, he sits in the back of the boat and watches the water go by, just as life does. I also find water comforting. I'm such a visual person. Water rushing by symbolizes cleansing, birth, hope, life. Water IS life. I can feel the strength pouring back into my soul now. In a little less than two weeks will be Mr. Virgo's second Angelversary. I'm trying it on, like last year's sweater, to see how it fits. I'll let you know.
\n\n\nOne of the recurring themes in the posts the last couple of days is downsizing. The Boomers are retiring. We have enjoyed a level of affluence not available to most people in the generations before us. Our parents were born in, or shortly after, the Great Depression. Our grandparents taught them to keep everything because you did not know when it would be useful. So they clung to possessions, not just for sentiment, but out of fear of doing without. Fear ingrains behaviors like nothing else. Is it any wonder then that we live in houses stuffed to the rafters with everything imaginable?
\n\n\nMr. Virgo came to me with literally not much more than a suitcase, a set of pots and pans, and a dog. He drove a beat up old Buick. He lived a simple lifestyle, intentionally. And, God rest his soul, he tried to get me to simplify mine. But I'm a Gemini! I NEED all my stuff! I'm an artist. I NEED all those supplies in all those genres because I don't know which one of me is going to show up in the studio! Will it be the pastel artist or the quilter, the soft doll sculptor or the smocker, the cross stitcher or the jeweler? It's crowded inside my head!
\n\n\nI resisted purging like the plague. I could think of a million things I would much rather do. But, let me tell you, I'm sorry I didn't do it when I had a partner to help me because doing it alone is brutal. I suggest you have that conversation with your significant other. With your children. What would they want your life to look like without them? What items would they want as an inheritance? Give it to them now. Let go of things. They're just things. They are anchors around your neck and they will drown you and rob you of freedom and peace.
\n\n\nLet's take a pledge. Tomorrow is a brand new month. We're heading into spring. Let's make a pledge to get rid of \"one a day\". One bag, one box…heck, one THING…every day for a month. In a month, you will have lost, at the very least, 31 items. Maybe even 31 BAGS or BOXES! Your life can look a whole lot different in one month. Go to the store today and buy a box of heavy duty trash bags and leave them someplace where you will stumble over them every day. We can DO this!
\n\n\n❤
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2015-02-28T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/02/28/lightening-the-load.html", "tags": ["Gratitude","Wisdom","Courage","Downsizing","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/02/22/sweet-memories.html", "title": "Sweet Memories", "content_html": "\n\"Lift up your eyes and look around; all your children gather and come to you. As surely as I live,” declares the Lord, “you will wear them all as ornaments; you will put them on, like a bride.\"
\nIsaiah 49:18\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/07c6c732b1.jpg\")
Mr. Virgo was born and raised in Philadelphia and spent a large portion of his life in Florida. However, the home of his heart was Colorado. He knew I wanted to come back to West Virginia and he would have done anything for me. So, a few years ago, he came here to this very hotel I'm staying in and interviewed for the Food and Beverage Director position. That's one of the reasons I chose this place to stay for my brief respite from the cold and snow. He had been here. So, a part of his energy remains and I wanted to find it.
\n\n\nI went down for breakfast and my beloved Starbucks latte. I sat in the big comfy leather chair and visually set a place for Mr. Virgo at the table beside me. I often do that when I'm going out to eat. He \"makes\" me look around and take notice of the restaurant as he used to do. Cleanliness, service, decor, food…all things he taught me about the restaurant business. All things I want to smack him for because it has forever tainted my experience of dining out. :-)
\n\n\nI sat back and enjoyed my new copy of Home magazine, pausing on occasion to look out at the snow piling up outside. There was soft jazzy \"elevator\" music in the background. Then I felt him. It happens sometimes. I knew he had come in and sat in the chair I had set for him. I smiled knowingly and sent him a mental hello. I knew he was about to send me a message, and I instinctively knew it was going to be through the music playing overhead. He has done that many times. Sure enough, the music switched from canned Muzak to Christina Perri singing \"A Thousand Years\". My heightened awareness led me to listen to every word and hear them as I hadn't before…as a message from a very special man.
\n\n\n\"Heart beats fast\nColors and promises\nHow to be brave?\nHow can I love when I'm afraid to fall?\nBut watching you stand alone,\nAll of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow.\nOne step closer\n\n[Chorus:]\nI have died every day waiting for you\nDarling, don't be afraid I have loved you\nFor a thousand years\nI'll love you for a thousand more\n\nTime stands still\nBeauty in all she is\nI will be brave\nI will not let anything take away\nWhat's standing in front of me\nEvery breath\nEvery hour has come to this\nOne step closer\n\n[Chorus:]\nI have died every day waiting for you\nDarling, don't be afraid I have loved you\nFor a thousand years\nI'll love you for a thousand more\n\nAnd all along I believed I would find you\nTime has brought your heart to me\nI have loved you for a thousand years\nI'll love you for a thousand more\nOne step closer\nOne step closer\n\n[Chorus:]\nI have died every day waiting for you\nDarling don't be afraid I have loved you\nFor a thousand years\nI'll love you for a thousand more\nAnd all along I believed I would find you\nTime has brought your heart to me\nI have loved you for a thousand years\nI'll love you for a thousand more\"\n\n\n
My heart warmed, I smiled, and…of course…I got a little lump in my throat as I enjoyed our moment together because I knew it wouldn't last long enough. It never does. The song ended, and just like that, the moment was gone. The music switched back to jazzy Muzak and Mr. Virgo slipped off into the nether regions of the hotel, certainly to follow some unsuspecting server around to make sure she's doing things right.
\n\n\n❤
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2015-02-22T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/02/22/sweet-memories.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Grief","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Courage","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/02/14/happy-valentines-day.html", "title": "Happy Valentine's Day!", "content_html": "\n\"No widow may be put on the list of widows unless she is over sixty, has been faithful to her husband, and is well known for her good deeds, such as bringing up children, showing hospitality, washing the feet of the Lord’s people, helping those in trouble and devoting herself to all kinds of good deeds.\"
\n1 Timothy 5:9-10 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/2dcb1be705.jpg\")
My great grandfather used to say, \"It'll stop hurting when the pain goes away.\" I never quite got the deeper meaning of those words till yesterday. I woke up feeling more peaceful than I have since Mr. Virgo died. It was remarkable. I couldn't put my finger on anything specific…I just felt lighthearted, like I could take on the world. The sun broke the horizon and made the frost on the windows glow a lovely golden yellow. It was 4 degrees outside but inside, my world was warm and beautiful and calm. I just laid there and enjoyed that feeling and was ever so grateful.
\n\n\nI'm heading for the two year mark now. Some of you have been following along from the beginning. If you are new, I lost my beloved Mr. Virgo in March 2013. We were buying a camper and he had a heart attack and died. I went ahead and bought one and started this journey. We've had lots of ups and downs, you and me. We'll have more. But today is a day to share the love and tell those who are important to you that you care.
\n\n\nYou all have been important to me…and, I care about you. I've gotten to know some of you personally. I recognize your names and look forward to hearing from you. We offer support and prayers for each other when they're needed. We encourage each other when the going gets tough and we applaud each other when we accomplish our goals. I am so proud of this page and of all you brave souls. I love y'all…more than biscuits and gravy! I hope you have a good day.
\n\n\n❤
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2015-02-14T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/02/14/happy-valentines-day.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Growth","Gratitude","Holiday","Wisdom","Courage","Change","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/02/04/regret.html", "title": "Regret", "content_html": "\n\"And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.\"
\nColossians 3:14 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/cb71b25f07.jpg\")
Regret should be one of the deadly sins. Not because it keeps you from God, but because it keeps you from peace. Regret is a pocket full of stones…the more you collect, the harder it is to swim. Yet, it's so easy to feel regret, isn't it? We do things that we wish we hadn't. We hurt others. We make poor choices. Remorse comes after we've done something wrong. We avoid taking chances. Regret comes from NOT doing something we wish we would have. It's easy to get mired down wishing things would have happened differently. As my grandma used to say, wish in one hand and spit in the other. See which one fills up first. In other words…it's useless to fill our hearts and minds with regret.
\n\n\nWe waste so much emotional energy on things that we simply cannot change. If I have made a mess of things, and there is some way to make restitution, then that's what I must do. After that, it becomes an experience and…hopefully…a lesson learned. The older I get, the easier it has become to let go of regrets. That doesn't meant I have let go of every single one. There are two things that I regret. One is that I didn't demonstrate faith to my children because I was fearful of it at the time. The second is that I did not insist Mr. Virgo have the tests done that his doctor wanted him to do. There are no do-overs in either department. The only thing I can do is live my best life, teaching by example. And feel the loss of my loved one knowing he was a stubborn man and I could not make him do anything. He was going to live his life on his terms, no matter what anyone else might say.
\n\n\nIt does not pay to chase the winds of folly. We must apply ourselves to the understanding of wisdom and absorb the lessons learned. We are human. We are fallible. We do what we know. And when we know better, we do better.
\n\n\n❤
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2015-02-04T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/02/04/regret.html", "tags": ["Grief","Comfort","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/01/31/drifting-along.html", "title": "Drifting Along", "content_html": "\n\"Then I applied myself to the understanding of wisdom, and also of madness and folly, but I learned that this, too, is a chasing after the wind.\"
\nEcclesiastes 1:17 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/96788b33ef.jpg\")
January and February seem to last FOR-EV-ER. The rest of the year flies by, yet I swear January and February are three times longer than any of the other months. I need warmth. I need water. I need sun, sand, surf…something! Surely I was born for some reason other than to pay taxes, crawl through January and February and eventually die. The tedium of these days of thin light and a fat butt is about to drive me stir crazy. So, in my inimitably Pollyanna-esque fashion, I have to…yet again…redirect my focus from the small picture to the big, widescreen view of life.
\n\n\nThere is a reason I am alive today. Actually, there are a lot of reasons. So, let's just list some.
\n\n\nI have a job to do. I have a light within me that needs to be shared and until I have finished the job I've been given and I get called back home, I'm here…good, bad, or indifferent…so I might as well make the most of it. Wasting away the days I have been given is criminally negligent. There are so many, Mr. Virgo included, who weren't granted as much time. It may be the end of January. We may have more snow coming. But I can't let that lull me into complacency.
\n\n\nUp! Rise up and meet the day! There are adventures to be had and I don't want to miss a single one!
\n\n\n❤
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2015-01-31T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/01/31/drifting-along.html", "tags": ["Grief","Courage","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/01/27/memory-lane.html", "title": "Memory Lane", "content_html": "\n“You will surely forget your trouble, recalling it only as waters gone by.”
\nJob 11:16\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/a9974d10ae.jpg\")
As most of you know, I've been busy the last couple of weeks scanning old family photos, documents, and assorted ephemera onto an external hard drive. As I do this, I file each picture into a folder for the main subject…mostly by family. I started out with noble intentions…scanning each photo individually and labeling it with the names of the subjects. Then it got filed in the appropriate folder. I have three big plastic tubs of pictures. I quickly realized I'll still be sitting here in 2016 if I kept things going at that rate. So I started grouping 3, 6, 9 or more photos with the same people on one scanned document. I am saving them to the appropriate folder and I can go back at my leisure to label them. The originals are being divided in piles and will be sent to the people in the pictures. I am on my last box. This is a project that has been hanging over my head for at least the eleven years since my mom died. I'll be happy to have it done and behind me, but slogging through it isn't easy. You see, as it turns out, Memory Lane has a lot of potholes.
\n\n\nThe majority of photos I scanned on Mom's Angelversary were of her…in her prime. A young mother. The young me grasping her hand, hanging onto her leg. It tugged at my heart. The next day I went through much of my older daughter's childhood. Sweet baby pictures of her in my arms, this now 40 year old…sucking on a bottle, peeking from under her blanket as she woke from a nap, hiding behind her little hands when she became camera shy at two. It tugged at my heart. Yesterday, I lifted some papers and a small enclosure card fluttered to the floor. \"Happy Valentine's Day, my love!\" Then came a birthday card. \"I adore you!\" I don't know that I was ready for this. Then again…I don't know that I ever WILL be ready for this. I probably would not be doing it now if my hand weren't being forced. I must get this done now. I really cannot cart this stuff with me, I cannot throw it away, and once the photos are disbursed, that's it. This is my only chance to do this job. And it is not easy. I have to pace myself. I have to withdraw a little from people so I can work through another layer of grief. I have to ask God to hold my hand…a LOT!
\n\n\nI recognize how blessed I am. My marriage will always be perfect. There will never be fights, hurt feelings, divorce. My memories of my marriage will forever be sweet, happy, full of love and light. That is such a gift.
\n\n\nThis sadness shall pass. This layer will be ripped open, cleaned out, and repaired. Just as all potholes are. And someday, I can drive down this road without falling in.
\n\n\n❤
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2015-01-27T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/01/27/memory-lane.html", "tags": ["Faith","Grief","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/01/21/the-fairy-cottage.html", "title": "The Fairy Cottage", "content_html": "\n“The widow who is really in need and left all alone puts her hope in God and continues night and day to pray and to ask God for help.”
\n1 Timothy 5:5\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/d83f069973.jpg\")
A couple of days ago I realized my stress level was getting out of hand. When we make proclamations to do good, we are often attacked by dark forces trying to counteract and regain balance. All energy in the universe has a counterbalance…light/dark, good/evil, Heaven/Hell. My IBS symptoms were raging and my anxiety was dangerously close to being triggered. I felt like I had tears stuck in my throat all the time. I was quickly letting things spiral out of control. To regain my balance, the first thing I did was reach out my hand and ask God to hang on to me and take this all away. The second thing I did was tell all dark energy to get away from me now. Then the third thing I did was invite all things light and good to come rushing back in to fill the void left by the vanishing darkness. Seriously, what had been going on for about 12 hours completely reversed in mere moments. It was astonishing. You have to understand…some of these things are totally new to me. I've never tried that before. I was bowled over that it worked. All I had to do…quite literally…was ask, and it was done. Then, of course…I had to say a hearty thank you!
\n\n\nIt is no surprise to you that I have been upset with my aunt these last few weeks. My whole world was turned upside down for me to come here to help her. If I would have known it would have lasted only 10 weeks, I never would have moved everything here. I never would have spent that money to move things here. I may not have bought such a big trailer. I don't know. But things would certainly have looked different right now. It's not those things that had me upset, however. It was something else entirely.
\n\n\nIn the late '70s, I read a book called Creative Visualization by Shakti Gawain. I started practicing this as a tool to combat a moderately severe anxiety disorder. In my meditations, the house out on the farm became my safe place…my happy place. In my anger and pain over things not working out the way I had the script written, I decided that my aunt had ruined my visualization. She \"took it away from me\" and I was mad. As you know, anger is the poison you take hoping it makes the other person sick. It just doesn't work that way. So I decided I needed to change my focus and walk toward the light.
\n\n\nI sat down and meditated. Mentally I created a large spool of silk strands of love and light that I could wrap all around my aunt so none of her negativity could escape. Then I built her a beautiful cottage, with every amenity she could possibly need. I packed every corner, floor to ceiling with smiles and laughter. I placed it over on the other side of the creek, away from the house, and I \"carried\" my aunt over there and put her inside. Then I made the water magic so no negative thing could ever cross back over to the house. My happy place, my safety zone was intact once more. Voila! My very-way-cool friend Vicky offered this insight…..This whole mess has very little to do with me, and everything to do with where my aunt is in HER life.
\n\n\nThe mind is a powerful thing. Prayer is a powerful thing. God coming to settle you down and displace the worries in your life? Man, that's an amazing thing…the MOST powerful thing. It is the cake. Everything else is just icing.
\n\n\n❤
\n\n\n\n\n\n\nBefore you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.
\nPhilippians 4:7\n
(Image from Pinterest)
\n\n", "date_published": "2015-01-21T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/01/21/the-fairy-cottage.html", "tags": ["Faith","God","Fear","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/01/16/preparations.html", "title": "Preparations", "content_html": "\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/d156180da9.jpg\")
I'm getting itchy feet! Cabin fever! Wanderlust! I do SO love to travel. Since I have changed my whole long term plan, I have begun preparing for the next step. My camper is my home, and there is very little storage in it, actually. Several cabinets, of course. Four drawers…and the large space under the bed. But there are only two small shirt closets and nowhere to hang coats. There's also the issue of my tools, 4 extra tires, and a couple sets of dishes that I refuse to part with so storing these items securely without taking up all my valuable storage space in the camper is a priority. I have the super crew cab and the back seats fold up to create a good deal of storage but I like to reserve that space for items I need quick access to while traveling. It occurred to me the truck bed is a large wasted space because I can't really haul anything back there. My stuff would be exposed to the elements and wouldn't be secure. I solved that by ordering a good quality truck cap this week. There are several accessories you can get. I ordered a double clothes hanging bar to be installed down the driver's side so I can hang my coats and extra clothes in there. I also ordered the roof rack and a carpet bed liner. Now it will be very much the storage closet I am in need of. Perfect!
\n\n\nI went out to dinner with a friend the other night. We were talking about this situation with my aunt. Sometimes you gain great insight when you have someone to whom you can vent. I have had people treat me badly in the past. I've had people be downright mean to me. So why is this hurting me more than the others? It's because one does not expect their own family members to be mean. At least I don't. That doesn't count the angst you go through in a divorce, of course. Maybe it's because my feelings are still hypersensitive from grief, but yesterday I finally put a name to it. I'm feeling betrayed because I trusted in the strength of a perceived family bond. It has not been pleasant, to say the least. But it has been an excellent learning and personal growth experience. I won't trust any less. But I will use my discernment to determine better who I spend my life energy on.
\n\n\nA reader responded to yesterday's post with a suggestion that was perfect. She said she has learned to say \"No\"…but she's also learned to say \"I'll think about that and get back to you.\" Where did we get the idea we HAVE to give someone an instant yes or no answer? I've said before, I don't think fast on my feet and I can relate countless scenarios where, after a time of consideration, I've thought of a much better answer than the one I gave. I've said yes to things I did not want to do then resented it when the time came and I felt I had to fulfill a promise made. I keep a journal. I'm going to start writing in my journal…first sentence…every night. \"I'll have to get back to you on that.\" Maybe after awhile, it will actually come to mind in the moment.
\n\n\nI finished scanning the first box of photos/documents yesterday so I'm feeling quite a sense of accomplishment. Onward and upward!
\n\n\n❤
\n\n", "date_published": "2015-01-16T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/01/16/preparations.html", "tags": ["Growth","Courage","Downsizing"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/01/10/perspective.html", "title": "Perspective", "content_html": "\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/9d1808641e.jpg\")
I've battled the scale for the very last time. Yesterday was the first day in a gym in probably seventeen years. Thank God I have a friend in the same boat as me or I might not have gone. We both could think of a hundred things we would have much rather been doing on this cold, snowy morning. But, there we were.
\n\n\nWe joined Planet Fitness because of their tag line. They are a self-proclaimed \"No Judgement Zone\". The fact that we can go there with our muffin tops rolling over our tres chic spandex leggings (carefully camouflaged by our slightly oversized t-shirts) and glow in front of others without some skinny little plastic Barbie doll looking at us with veiled disgust is a huge relief. Gosh, that first trip in, that first look at all these intimidating machines, that first awkward round of reps doing things in front of others that honestly should never be given the light of day, that first 10 minutes on the elliptical when you have no rhythm or sense of balance….that is an act of great bravery. That is pure strength right there. Anyone who does that, and stays, is a hero in my eyes!
\n\n\nAnd stay we did! Our cute little personal trainer, with the tight little bubble butt I have no memory of ever having, went over our fitness goals (ummmm, I'd like to lift my groceries into my car without feeling like I just bench pressed a Buick!) then showed us each machine and how to use it. My friend and I looked at each other and said \"Let's DO this!\" (Or maybe it was \"You wanna get ice cream after?\" I don't remember.) Anyway, we headed off for our cardio warmup, then did a circuit on the machines and another cardio cool down.
\n\n\nFeeling pretty smug, we headed into the locker room and there….right out in front of us…was the dreaded S-C-A-L-E!!! This is an instrument of the devil himself! Ok, we got on. I am brave. I am fearless. I demonstrate 190 pounds of gravitational pull. That's cool. That's not who I am. I am powerful. Now, to get strong! Follow along on an entirely NEW adventure as I reshape my vessel!
\n\n\n❤
\n\n", "date_published": "2015-01-10T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/01/10/perspective.html", "tags": ["Health","Overcoming Obstacles","Courage","Choices","Change","Fitness"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/01/09/the-little-engine-that-could.html", "title": "The Little Engine That Could", "content_html": "\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/de32ba675a.jpg\")
You've heard the old adage….Whether you think you can or you think you can't…you're right. I used to exercise like a fiend. Far too much, as it turns out. Then I went to the comfortably soft end of the couch and stayed there. I've made every excuse in the book for why I \"can't\" exercise. It's too hot. It's too cold. I'm too tired. I have a headache. I'm SO out of shape, there is NO way I'm going to get back. Mr. Virgo died and I don't want to go out there alone. Yeah, right. The truth is, I just plain DON'T WANT TO! However…my body is starting to change my mind for me. I'm finding it more difficult to get up off that comfy couch…literally as well as figuratively. I'm finding myself short of breath at the top of these stairs to the apartment where I am house sitting. I'm finding clothes don't fit right and I'm getting entirely TOO comfortable in mom jeans and leggings.
\n\n\nDon't get me wrong…I don't care what anyone else thinks of me or how I look. But I want more than what I am giving myself. I want more energy. I want more stamina. I want more socialization. I want more fun. I want more of everything good and I'm not going to get it by sitting on the sofa, day in and day out, eating ice cream and not taking care of myself. Exercise will accomplish all these goals as well as go a long way in controlling the grief junk that has risen it's head far too often. A couple of days ago, one of my friends (who is a widow) went with me to the gym to sign up. They were having an amazing deal on membership so we couldn't pass it up. Then last night she invited me to the local cycling club meeting to meet members and see if it's something I'm interested in. They were such genuine people and welcomed me with open arms even though I haven't touched a bicycle in years. Today my friend and I go for our first orientation meeting at the gym. I'm not going overboard. I'm not going all Rambo and do three aerobics classes a day like I used to do 20 years ago. I'm just going to move around a little bit. I'm going to get the blood flowing and get stronger and meet some new people and have a little fun. And I'm going to wake up even more because…I think I can!
\n\n\n❤
\n\n", "date_published": "2015-01-09T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/01/09/the-little-engine-that-could.html", "tags": ["Health","Fun","Growth","Courage","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/01/03/choices.html", "title": "Choices", "content_html": "\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/e860c968f7.jpg\")
If you were to walk into a fine restaurant, you would fully expect to get a menu with a multitude of delectable dishes to choose from for your dining pleasure. While you may not have a taste for foie gras from either a gastronomic or ethical viewpoint, you will have a myriad of other choices that should better suit you. Mr. Virgo once owned a restaurant in Snowmass, Colorado. He had an extremely famous celebrity in one night who put up a huge fuss because there was MEAT on the menu! He calmly explained this was a STEAK HOUSE and perhaps she would be more comfortable moving along to a place with more suitable food. This is much like life. We have this HUGE menu. We can order whatever we want. Granted, sometimes what we want isn't available, but that doesn't mean we can't ask. We have choices. Lots and lots of choices.
\n\n\nA friend and I were chatting yesterday. She was about at the end of her rope from dealing with a particularly needy friend who was sucking the life out of her chest. You know this person. Nothing goes right. Everything is a crisis. Every issue is huge, catastrophic, painful, sad, blah, blah, blah. You may BE this person. I'll be the first to admit I USED to be that person. Oh, my gosh…I used to just wear people out. Heck, I wore them out so much, I wore MYSELF out!
\n\n\nWhen I went through my second divorce, I was the one who was being left. Dang…if you haven't experienced that, count your lucky stars because that is an ugly thing to go through. I was a victim. I mean, I really WAS a victim. I went to visit a friend in Florida about a year after the breakup. My friend was entertaining another friend one evening and I was regaling them with my tales of woe. I wanted their sympathy. I wanted them to feel my pain. I wanted them to hate my ex as much as I did at the time. It was terribly uncomfortable to everyone in the room but me. I was clueless because I was on a mission. I had made a career out of being a victim.
\n\n\nMy friend put a hand on my arm and said, \"Ginny, that's all in the past now. Maybe we can move on to another topic.\"
\n\n\nBefore I could even bristle at her suggestion, her friend piped up and said, \"No, no! Let her tell her story. She needs to tell it over and over again until it embarrasses her.\"
\n\n\nYou could have knocked me over with a feather. I was stunned into silence because suddenly the truth came crashing down all around me. I had been building a castle of glass where I could sit in the tower and wail to the masses. Woe! Woe! I had been making a choice, daily, with anyone who would listen to me. I was choosing to be a victim and I was suddenly embarrassed. She was right…I told the story till it embarrassed me.
\n\n\nWe may not have a choice in what happens to us. After all, bad things happen…all the time. I didn't ask to be a widow. I didn't ask for the changes that keep marching through my life because of it. But I sure as heck have a choice about how these changes are going to affect me, about how I'm going to react to them, and about who I allow in my life because of them. We all have choices. Don't be afraid to make yours.
\n\n\n❤
\n\n", "date_published": "2015-01-03T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/01/03/choices.html", "tags": ["Growth","Courage","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/01/02/hibernation.html", "title": "Hibernation", "content_html": "\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/b9588d14bf.jpg\")
When my older daughter was about six or seven, we were sitting on the couch watching a PBS special. (Just ask her…Channel 6 is all she was ever allowed to watch. We were SO mean!) At one point, she sighed and laid her head on my shoulder.
\n\n\n\"Mama?\"
\n\n\n\"Yes, babe?\"
\n\n\n\"When I die, I want to come back as a bear.\"
\n\n\n\"Really. Why is that?\"
\n\n\n\"So I can hyperventilate all winter.\"
\n\n\nThe child of medical parents who made her watch PBS nature shows. Poor kid.
\n\n\nThere's something to be said for hibernating, though. I spent a good deal of time on the phone yesterday with various friends. Every single one of them was searching for something…some sort of comfort…some form of peace. Quiet. Stillness. This was the major theme. I totally get that. I went to get a coffee yesterday morning, stopped at the store, emptied out my truck, watched the parade, did some laundry, and communed with my like-minded, ready-to-hibernate comrades. I was right there with them.
\n\n\nWhat brings us to this place where we crave the cave? Part of it, of course, is the long dark nights. And we are coming down off the frenzied sugar high of the holidays. We need to retreat…be still…listen to our hearts. Whether you're rescuing yourself from a week of guests like a friend of mine, or feeling the stress of too many obligations and too many funerals like my friend Denise, or reeling from the death of your mother like my friend Debbie, or escaping from an emotional bruising like me…we're all the same. We just want to be left alone to lick our wounds and refill our well.
\n\n\nI received a private message from one of my readers yesterday. He was confused. He didn't understand what was happening with me because I was here to help my aunt and the next thing he knew, I was off on a different course. He wondered if he missed something and if I was ok. It made me realize not all of you get to see every post and some might think I didn't take this situation with my aunt seriously or that I'm flighty. While there are certainly areas of my life beyond the scope of this page, there aren't many and I've been up front and open with you about everything else…so here goes.
\n\n\nI've spent a great deal of time the last few weeks praying and meditating on what changed about the dynamic between my aunt and me. We are about as different as two people can possibly be. While she is very bright, somewhat worldly, and well read, she is extremely narrow in her views and uncompromising in her beliefs. I am a liberal, free-spirited social butterfly. She is 83…she believes in saying exactly what comes into her mind, without filter, and without regard for the effect her words may have on the recipient. I am 61…I believe in diplomacy and the rule my grandma taught me - \"If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.\" She is also angry. She is losing her independence and knows it. I am healthy and free, active and young. At least youngER. I was the closest thing available for my aunt to lash out at. I get that. I understand it from a medical and intellectual standpoint. That doesn't make it sting any less, but I certainly get where she's coming from. The problem came when she made it personal. When she started making calculated attacks, then retreating with sweetness only to attack again when I got close enough, it started making me question what was going on. I don't want to believe she would actually be mean…on purpose. But none of that matters in the grand scheme of things. Because if she doesn't respect me…if she doesn't trust my judgement or my expertise…a caregiving relationship cannot be established. Nothing will ever be right…nothing will ever be satisfactory. And, as it turns out, I am not who she wants in that capacity and that's ok. This is, after all, her life…her home…her future. The sad thing is, I doubt there's anyone else she WOULD want. I know there is no one else available. I was the only one, short of hiring someone, that can keep her out of a nursing home. I felt it was the best thing, for all parties involved, to bow out gracefully and let she and her brother figure out a solution that will be more amenable to her. I also wanted to do this in such a way that would not break whatever tenuous connection we still have. After talking with her yesterday, I think we may have accomplished that. I hope so, because I do love her and only want what's best for everyone involved.
\n\n\nRelationships are a lot of work. I knew coming into this that it might not work out, but I held high hopes. The most wonderful lesson I have learned from this situation is…I can trust my gut instincts AND I can control my mouth and not go down a destructive path just to prove a point. So, now I can hibernate a little bit myself, fill my well, and come out swinging again. We all need a little down time. You should never feel bad about taking yours.
\n\n\n❤
\n\n", "date_published": "2015-01-02T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/01/02/hibernation.html", "tags": ["Family","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Growth","Peace","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Courage","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/12/31/resolutions.html", "title": "Resolutions", "content_html": "\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/ef16b57dec.jpg\")
I don't like resolutions. They represent change and, as a widow, I've had just about all of that I can stomach, thank you very kindly. \"The only thing in life you CAN count on is change.\" \"Change is good.\" \"If you don't change, the view will remain the same.\" Trite platitudes, at best. Besides that, how do I know what I'm going to want to be doing in August? I don't know what I want to do TOMORROW let alone set myself up for the inevitable failure of another ill conceived resolution. I prefer to choose a word to focus on instead of resolving to change even more things in my life.
\n\n\nLosing Mr. Virgo was the tip of the iceberg. The trickle-down theory of grief fallout is the gift that won't stop giving…like a tub overflowing on the second floor and you can't pull the plug or stop the flow of water. Surprise! Your life will change in ways you never could have imagined. Bam! Smack! Splash!
\n\n\nI made a huge leap of faith this year. I sold my house. I sold or gave away practically everything I owned. I left my family and friends to come home to care for my aunt. And totally secondary to that, I came home to say goodbye to the family farm. I had it pictured. Awesome antiques. A great garden. Chickens. Rain on the tin roof. Idyllic. Iconic. A fairy tale life. Then…change.
\n\n\nThe thing is, I had expectations. I had a script. I had a plan. I just assumed God had the same thing in mind for me. This change, while unpleasant, is not necessarily a bad thing. If my storybook scenario would have played out exactly as I had it in my mind, then the final goodbye to this farm would have been devastating. It would have left me bereft, yearning for something I am not destined to have in the long run. As it turns out, the reality of the situation has allowed me to view the farm (and my aunt, as it turns out) from a practical, realistic vantage point and not through the rose colored lens of nostalgia. I can see the warts, so to speak. This is not a bad thing. The timetable just got moved up, that's all. Change. It's slippery. Sneaky. It can take away so much, so fast. But it can also give such beautiful gifts if you don't cower in fear. If you face the winds of change head on, the fog gets blown away and you can see so much further.
\n\n\nSo here's my word for 2015.
\n\n\nGrace…an attribute of God. \"The love and mercy given to us by God because God desires us to have it, not because of anything we have done to earn it.\" I resolve to face the coming year, with all of its changes, all of its challenges, all of its surprises with grace.
\n\n\nGrace. I love that.
\n\n\nThank you for all your posts and excellent insights you've shared this year. Everyone benefits when you post, share, and interact with each other. You are all incredibly brave and strong and beautiful. Thank you so much for traveling along with me. Your love and support have helped me more than you will ever know! May each of you face the changes of the upcoming year with grace…in good health and prosperity.
\n\n\nHappy New Year!
\n\n\nGinny
\n\n\n❤
\n\n", "date_published": "2014-12-31T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/12/31/resolutions.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","The Farm","Growth","Grace","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Change","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/12/30/born-to-sparkle.html", "title": "Born to Sparkle!", "content_html": "\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/320319e858.jpg\")
Do you ever look at your little girl pictures and wonder where your sparkle went? It takes a lot to dull my shine, but lately…I just haven't been feeling it. Then I came across this picture in my archives. Just look at this little girl! She's got her nekkid baby doll, a pretty dress with shiny party shoes, and she's at her grandma's house. What else IS there to life? She hasn't been molested or abused. She hasn't seen her parents fight. She hasn't dated or married or divorced. She hasn't had babies. She hasn't worried about how to pay the bills. She hasn't sat on the edge of the bed at 2am waiting to see the headlights signaling her daughter's safe return home. She hasn't comforted her bullied child. She hasn't held her grandchildren. She hasn't lost her mom. She hasn't met the love of her life. She hasn't lost him. She hasn't known grief.
\n\n\nShe hasn't known grief. But she will. She'll have trouble breathing. She'll step on that rake in the grass all too often. She'll feel the grief rise and fall in her chest like the tide. She'll reel with the pain and she'll learn how to take it. She'll vow never to hurt again, but she will. She'll vow never to love again, but she will. She'll think she can never sparkle again…but she will.
\n\n\nShe will.
\n\n\nBecause…look at this little girl.
\n\n\nShe was BORN…TO…SPARKLE!
\n\n\n❤
\n\n", "date_published": "2014-12-30T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/12/30/born-to-sparkle.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","The Farm","Growth","Gratitude","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Courage","Aging","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/12/29/the-rabbit-hole.html", "title": "The Rabbit Hole", "content_html": "\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/93247e2846.jpg\")
Have you ever found yourself in a relationship where your interactions with the other person leave you confused? A remark comes out of the blue, takes you by surprise, hurts, stuns then with practically the next breath, the person turns it around, smiles, becomes sweet and complacent, and you wonder what just happened? You begin to second guess your perceptions. You think surely what you thought was happening really wasn't. It had to be your interpretation, right? It had to be something you said or did that caused that negativity because, see? They're so nice! That is crazy-making behavior. It's a very clear sign that you are in a toxic relationship. I've been there. And fortunately, having been there, I can recognize it when it comes along now. Oh…it took me a little bit this time. I let it bite me three or four times before I caught on.
\n\n\nWhat pulled me out was sitting down and having a conversation with Mr. Virgo. Bless his heart, he was so patient with me the first year we were together. I would tell him things I believed that others had said. Things that made me feel crazy. Invariably he'd take my hand, look me in the eye, and gently say… \"You know that's crazy, right?\" And I'd say, \"No, so and so said this and they are so much smarter than me. It must be true! It's ME that's crazy!\" And he'd just hold my hand and keep telling me over and over till I finally believed him. It wasn't me. It was the toxin talking. Some relationships are just poison to your soul…to your psyche. You have to walk away from them. So I asked Mr. Virgo what I should do. And I got the message loud and clear. I could \"hear\" him saying over and over…\"You know that's crazy, right?\" Right. You're absolutely right. Walk away. Walk away. Oh, there are SO many things that could keep me entangled. A sense of obligation. Guilt. Pity. Compassion. Confusing manipulation with love. Thank you, thank you, thank you. For clarity. For courage. For growth.
\n\n\nI prayed for a solution. A quick, healthy solution. My friend from high school was praying at the very same moment. She needs someone to stay at her loft apartment while she's gone for two months visiting her daughter. She needs someone to water her plants and to make sure the pipes don't freeze. She hadn't been on Facebook for days. She had a nightmare in the wee hours of the morning and couldn't go back to sleep so she checked in to see what was going on. While other posts had come through since I posted a plea Saturday night, asking for help finding a place, there was my post…right at the top of her screen! She sent me a message right away. I went over to her place in the afternoon. A second floor loft, high ceilings, lots of windows, a whole wall of books floor to ceiling in the living room, stacks and stacks of quilts all around, plants everywhere, a big airy bedroom, a half block from the river on a brick paved street nestled amongst small shops and restaurants. Perfect! It's only 30 miles from the farm so I can still go check on my aunt and make sure things are ok there, yet far enough away that I am protected. I'll have cell service and internet so I'm connected to my family and friends. A cocoon where I can heal this wound and move on. An inspirational spot to write. This will buy me a couple of months to find another place to park the camper where I can stay for awhile to make sure my aunt gets the assistance she needs and then I can be free to move on. Perhaps my job here was to be more of a facilitator of change rather than an actual caregiver. I can see that to be just as true.
\n\n\nI went to church yesterday with a very special family and went to lunch afterwards at Olive Garden. These people give of their hearts freely and they (as well as my extended and immediate family) salvaged my Christmas. I am forever grateful for the love of family and friends. And of God.
\n\n\n❤
\n\n", "date_published": "2014-12-29T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/12/29/the-rabbit-hole.html", "tags": ["Family","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Forgiveness","Courage","Peaceful Moments","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/12/23/the-gift.html", "title": "The Gift", "content_html": "\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/3d42be0354.jpg\")
Christmas was big in our house. Mr. Virgo listened…to every little gasp at something beautiful that caught my eye. To every little \"Darn it…I wish I had _, it would make this job so much easier.\" To every shiver in the cold or gaze through a shop window…he listened, and watched, and waited. He hid things…in his sock drawer, in his briefcase, in his cowboy boot on the back of the top shelf. Boxes arrived and I was forbidden entry to his closet for a month. He listened…and he planned…and he schemed. And when the time came to open presents, he sat with eager anticipation…not for what HE was going to get. No…he wanted to see the look on my face when I opened…the…perfect…present. He never disappointed. Well, ok…there WAS the year he gave me a flintlock rifle because he thought it would look good hanging over the TV, but I've long since forgiven him for that. ;-) He spoiled me rotten. He indulged me. And I miss that. Not the \"stuff\". I mean, if I really wanted something, I would find a way to get it. That's not the issue. I miss the production, the anticipation, the execution of the surprise. I miss the attention. I miss the love.
\n\n\nI have people who love me. I have people who buy me things and they are sweet and tender and the thought that someone has gone out of their way to give me a gift is touching. I have a friend who sends me a little something from Tiffany every year because he knows my heart races when I see that blue box. I get portraits of my grandchildren. I get Starbucks gift cards and lunch or dinner (or both) out. I get cards and hugs. And I am grateful. I am blessed.
\n\n\nStill…nothing compares to the Ghost of Christmas Past. I need to change my focus or I'll just keep missing what I do not have. So, this year I have compiled a list of gifts I am going to give myself this Christmas.
\n\n\nSeven gifts. One for each day of the week. Gifts that I can rotate and keep giving myself over and over and over. I won't have to take them back…they're just the right size. And if I keep giving myself these gifts, I'll have such an abundance of time, love, health, permission, forgiveness, heart, and compassion that the surplus will just overflow and splash all over everyone around me.
\n\n\nIt is not selfish to give yourself such gifts. This is a difficult time of year. High self-expectations lead to stress and disappointment. We are overextended…physically, mentally, emotionally, financially. Add the stress of grief to that and you have a recipe for disaster. Give yourself the gift of self care.
\n\n\nYou cannot water a garden if your well is dry. Fill it up!
\n\n\n❤
\n\n", "date_published": "2014-12-23T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/12/23/the-gift.html", "tags": ["Health","Grief","Growth","Comfort","Grace","Courage","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/12/22/dear-santa.html", "title": "Dear Santa,", "content_html": "\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/b920634027.jpg\")
One year ago today, I was sitting in my house with a huge gaping hole in my chest where my heart used to be. I knew instinctively that it wasn't a good idea for me to wallow around in my bedroom all day and it took every ounce of strength I had to get out of bed, get dressed, and head to the mall. It was there that I ran into you and wrote the following post.
\n\n\n\"Santa!
\n\n\nI find that if I get out and mingle with people I do a lot better than if I hang out at the house too much. Today was no exception. I found myself wasting the day away so I headed to town about 2pm. I have lived in my small town since 1986 so I can just about bank on seeing someone I know when I'm out and about.
\n\n\nFirst stop was the bank. The gals are always so sweet and want to know what adventure I'm heading on next. Then I went to the mall. I needed a screen protector so while I waited I chatted with a gal I knew. She didn't know about Mr. Virgo so I had to tell her. Sympathy, hugs, promises to do lunch. All so gratefully received. I wandered around till I got to Penney's. Big sale so I picked up a pair of jeans and saw another gal I've known forever. Sympathy, hugs, tears. Pulled it together and headed in the other direction. Down at the other end of the mall, there was Santa with three beautiful children on his lap. Now, my normal operating mode is to cry over Hallmark commercials. Don't EVEN show me one with a soldier coming home to his mom! I stood watching these bright and shiny faces gazing in wonder at Santa and I was reminded of when Mr. Virgo had his beard (omgosh…he looked JUST like Sean Connery, I kid you not!). He worked at the Hotel Jerome and was asked to be Santa. Oh! You would have thought they had given him the leading role in the year's biggest blockbuster movie, he was that excited. So of course, I had to stand there watching Santa and the children and didn't even realize tears were falling off my chin. The children left and I noticed Santa watching me. He cocked his head a little, scooched over in the chair and patted the seat beside him. I looked around and decided I really needed a visit with this jolly, old elf. I walked up and sat down. I kept my eyes diverted a bit because I knew if I made direct eye contact, I was a goner. We sat in silence for a bit and finally, I whispered to him, \"My husband died. I need a new heart.\" He put his arm around me and drew me close. He whispered back, \"I'm so sorry.\" I told him what had happened and that I had such sweet memories of Mr. Virgo at Christmas. I apologized for being such a mess. He told me I was perfect. I asked if I could just sit with him for a minute. He leaned his head against mine and patted my back while I cried. It didn't take long. I had it back together in just a couple of minutes. These water works turn on and off fairly quickly, most of the time. He said, \"Will you have your picture taken with me?\" I smiled and wiped the last tears away, and with the same awe I saw on the faces of those beautiful children, I nodded and said, \"I'd like that.\" He whispered, \"Thank you for stopping.\" I whispered back, \"Thank you for being real.\"
\n\n\nWell, Santa…I just want you to know I'm doing better this year. Even though I didn't get a new heart last year, the one I have has come a long way towards healing. It still hurts sometimes, and when it does, my eyes leak then I feel better. I sold my house and either sold or gave away just about everything I own. I traded in my Expedition for an F-150 and the 16 footer for a 24 footer and drove cross country. I'm caring for an elderly aunt with no children.
\n\n\nIf you would leave me a handful of courage, a dash of strength, and a dollop of patience, I'd sure appreciate it. No need to leave me any faith this year…I've got oodles! Thank you for the gifts you gave me last Christmas. They fit me perfectly! Say hello to Mrs. Claus and those little elves you raised. Here's to a great New Year!
\n\n\nGinny
\n\n\n❤
\n\n", "date_published": "2014-12-22T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/12/22/dear-santa.html", "tags": ["Grief","Growth","Comfort","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/12/20/its-christmas-time-in-heaven.html", "title": "\"It's Christmas Time in Heaven\"", "content_html": "\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/d30522afec.jpg\")
This is the last picture taken of Mr. Virgo. It was Christmas morning 2012. Eleven weeks later, he was gone. This was the first Christmas he had off in 40 years. It was as if God was saying, \"He won't be here next year so I'll give you this one together.\" It was a beautiful day. One that will remain in my heart forever.
\n\n\nI wrote this poem last year as a tribute. I thought I'd share it here again. So far, this year isn't quite as difficult as last year. As a dear friend of mine said, \"The very nature of a mine field indicates fewer and fewer mines will be found as they explode.\" I guess the trick is to not get blown up.
\n\n\n❤
\n\n\n\"It's Christmas Time in Heaven\"
\n\n\nIf only I'd have known\n\n\n
Your days on Earth were few,
I'd have spent each waking moment
Of my life with you.
I would have taken pictures\n\n\n
To mark each passing day
Then I could see you when I want
Since you have gone away.
I know you're up in Heaven.\n\n\n
I know you're there with God.
I know you're there with Mom and Dad,
But oh, this time is hard.
It's Christmas time, my darling.\n\n\n
Times past were filled with glee.
But this year all I think about is
You're not here with me.
No sneaky shaking presents.\n\n\n
There is no hug or kiss.
My heart just feels so empty.
It's you I really miss.
It's Christmas time in Heaven.\n\n\n
I know this must be true.
Every day was Christmas Day
When it was spent with you!
Copyright 2013 - Ginny McKinney - Marshmallow Ranch
\n\n", "date_published": "2014-12-20T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/12/20/its-christmas-time-in-heaven.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Growth","Courage","Aging","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/12/15/doctor-doctori-can-walk.html", "title": "Doctor, Doctor…I Can Walk!", "content_html": "\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/883b8d782c.jpg\")
I found the spark in my heart and gently blew the embers back to flame.
\n\n\nBaking all day with my family yesterday was just what the doctor ordered! I got up and went to church, which I sorely needed. Then came back and started baking. Twenty dozen cookies, three trays of butter mints, a batch of Chocolate No Bakes, a batch of Rolo Pretzel cookies, a batch of Cherry Mash, a double batch of Jello Jigglers, and about five dozen \"dipped treats\" such as pretzels and Oreos and candy canes dipped in white chocolate! All in six hours and we only over cooked one tray of cookies. Three bakers, one stove, and two very cute little taste testers. My heart is as full as my tummy!
\n\n\nSuch is the nature of grief. If there is any message I truly want you to hear, it's this:
\n\n\nThe holidays are marching toward us. While they are difficult, the long stretch of time that crawls toward spring can be even more so. Have an \"accountability partner\". Someone who you can call, day or night, if the going gets too tough. Don't be embarrassed to seek help if you need it. We'll get through this, you and I.
\n\n\n❤
\n\n", "date_published": "2014-12-15T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/12/15/doctor-doctori-can-walk.html", "tags": ["Grief","Hope","Growth","Comfort","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/11/21/floating.html", "title": "Floating", "content_html": "\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/c3175cef9c.jpg\")
One of the biggest challenges I have in dealing with…well, anything really…is stopping to breathe before I react. I've always been a reactionary. I don't jump to conclusions nearly as much and I'm better at holding my tongue than I used to be, yet I still find myself letting my thoughts spin out of control. I get way ahead of where I'm actually standing in a vain attempt to control the outcome. This control issue stems from being the child of an alcoholic parent…where the simplest of situations can quickly go south and get out of hand. Holding yourself in the rigid stance of hyper-vigilance creates long term physical and emotional side effects. When I find my jaw is aching because I have my teeth clenched, it's time to open up and speak my truth with someone about a subject I may be avoiding. When my breathing is shallow and my chest is tight, it's time to breathe deep and relax…let myself break the resistance. When my muscles are bound in knots and my joints ache, I need to explore what is keeping me from moving forward. When I stop struggling, I float. It's the law. This is exactly what happened night before last when I was in the throes of anxiety. I changed my location (I went to my camper), and I stopped to catch my breath, let go, and relax back into the current of life. That's when I began to float and my anxiety dissipated. This is an ongoing challenge for me. But I'm learning. Let go. Let go. Let go.
\n\n\n<3
\n\n", "date_published": "2014-11-21T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/11/21/floating.html", "tags": ["Grief","Courage","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/11/10/a-conversation-with-my-dad.html", "title": "A Conversation with My Dad", "content_html": "![\"autumn](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/e880c29d3c.jpg\")
“A conversation with my dad.”
I had a perfect weekend. I say that a lot. “It was a perfect day!” “What a perfect sunset!” I can’t help it. It’s the eternal sunshine in my hopeful heart. The world is just so dang awesome! But I did have a great weekend. Friday night football with my high school buds after pizza at the local hangout. We won against our arch rivals. It was a dead even game and we won by a field goal with 2.1 seconds left on the clock! My friends and I remarked how we felt just like we did 43 years ago when we were last there. The only difference was, I was wearing my full length blue fox coat! It was 31 degrees and not all that far from the river…it was darned chilly in that stadium. Ok, I had a really awesome moment when the entire cheerleading squad dropped their mouths open as I walked by and this sweet little girl said, “Oh, my gosh! I love your coat!” The cheerleaders liked me! Wow! (giggle)
\nI stayed overnight at one of my cousins’ house. We had coffee together Saturday then I took off for craft shows with another cousin. We had dinner out with their friends Saturday night. Yesterday morning we had coffee and sat around all morning sharing stories. I am so happy to be getting to know these cousins. Both sets. They come from my dad’s side of the family. My parents divorced when I was in my early twenties. I really hadn’t had as close a connection with my dad’s family as I had with my mom’s. It is very interesting talking with dad’s family now. He went on and remarried, quit drinking, found Jesus, and became a kind and gentle person in his community so they knew an entirely different man than I did. However, his interaction with me never changed and we had a very strained to practically non-existent relationship. Two sides of the same coin.
\nFor a long time after my father died, I was perplexed by the lack of resolution. Whenever I had tried to resolve things with him as an adult, he didn’t want to discuss it with me. He just wanted to forget the whole thing and I wasn’t enlightened enough at the time to realize how hard it was for him to express his feelings. By the time I had it figured out, he was severely demented and then he died and no resolution would ever come. Or would it? I figured it would do no harm to resolve the matter on my own terms so one day I sat down and rewrote history. I had a “conversation” with my dad. I told him exactly how I felt. I told him all my hurts. I cried and told him how much I missed having a daddy that wasn’t drunk all the time. I told him about his little girl that waited in the car on Christmas Eve while her mommy went in every bar in town looking for him to bring him home. I told him how much he scared me when he brought the gun in the kitchen. I told him I loved him and hated him and missed him and wanted his friendship all my life. I told him I was so jealous of the other girls whose Daddy’s were their champions and cheerleaders and best friends. And then I got quiet and I listened. And here’s what my daddy said to me:
\n“Oh, honey…I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I wasn’t the daddy you needed, the daddy you deserved. It wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t your mommy’s fault. It was me. I didn’t know any better. I did the best I could with the knowledge I had, but I just didn’t know how my behaviors would affect you. I didn’t do it on purpose, and I’d take it all back if I had a do-over. See, I went to the South Pacific in the Army. I got really, really sick when I was there. I was afraid to drink the water so I drank beer…a lot. My dad drank a lot too…so this was what I knew. I started drawing pictures when I was away. I was pretty good. I wanted to be a commercial artist. Or a farmer. When I was stateside at Camp Pendleton, I met a woman named Virginia Cunningham. She was beautiful. She stole my heart and I wanted to marry her, but she said no. I was devastated. Your mom and I met when I came home. A boy had broken her heart, too. So we married, hoping our hearts would mend but they didn’t. You kids came along, responsibilities took over, and my dreams of being an artist and a farmer were long gone by the time you could walk. I coped with the only skill I had left and that was alcohol. I’m really, truly sorry, baby girl. I loved you every day of your life. I was always so proud of you. I told everyone about my Ginny and my beautiful grandchildren. I’m sorry I didn’t try to get to know them, or you. Please forgive me for not being there for you, your brother, your mom, your babies. I’ll make it up to you. We can talk about it in Heaven someday, I promise.”
\nIt’s ok, Daddy. I forgive you.
\n<3
\n", "date_published": "2014-11-10T02:30:13-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/11/10/a-conversation-with-my-dad.html", "tags": ["Family","Forgiveness","Courage","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/11/04/that-still-small-voice.html", "title": "That Still, Small Voice", "content_html": "![\"listen](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/08c1c12f55.jpg\")
“Listen with your heart.”
You’ve heard it. If not…you’ve felt it. That still, small voice that guides you. That gut instinct that cautions you. That “sixth sense”, “intuition”, “inner compass” that we all have. Listening to that Voice with my heart is a skill I crave to learn. All too often, I look back and recall hearing, but not heeding, the directions that were subtly handed down. For me, it is the Holy Spirit guiding me. And I’m stubborn. I want to do it my way. I don’t like to be “told what to do.”
\nThere are times that I can recall where it wasn’t just a gut instinct, a “feeling” I shouldn’t do something. I recall on those occasions hearing a voice…actually HEARING it, as if someone were standing right next to me. It made me jump. It was disconcerting, to say the least. I mean, we aren’t supposed to be hearing voices. But I heard it, nonetheless.
\nOnce was when Hubby #2 was in medical school. We had been arguing about something. Med school is stressful and we argued. Too much. I was sitting on the edge of our bed, crying, when a voice very clearly said to me, “Don’t worry…you’ll be happy when you’re 52.” Excuse me? Who said that? And what do you mean “when you’re 52”? I’m 30!!! Besides, I wasn’t necessarily UNhappy. At least, not that I was aware of at the time. Interestingly, I met (and fell madly in love with) Mr. Virgo when I was…52. Hmmmmm.
\nAnother time was when I was a smoker. I was going to sleep one night and clearly heard a voice say “You have to quit. And I mean right now. Not one more.” I would love to say I listened then but nicotine addiction is more powerful than heroin, so I have heard. But I did eventually so I hope it wasn’t too late.
\nOnce I was looking at my retirement account and was very pleased by the return that month when the same darned voice said “Get out. Now!” “Oh, no…..I did NOT just hear that! This was the best month EVER!” Yeah. You remember when the market crashed in ‘08? Uh-huh. Didn’t listen then either. Darn it.
\nSo what does this Voice have to do to get our attention? Would I have listened if perhaps I had heard a fanfare of trumpets? Was I waiting for a neon sign perhaps? Maybe a peppy rendition of “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds”? How about a clap of thunder and a booming voice? I don’t think that’s how God works. When a child is having a temper tantrum or not hearing you, does raising your voice help? No. What usually works is squatting down at eye level and whispering. It throws them off guard. They have to strain to hear so they get quiet themselves. I think God whispers to us because we are so darned loud, so busy with whatever we are enamored with at the moment. He wants us to shut up and listen. He wants us to sit and be still and hear what He’s trying to say. Because He’s saying a lot. He’s talking to us all the time.
\nThe sweetest sound in the world is…the Voice of God. Even if you call that Voice your “woman’s intuition”, learn to be still and really hear it. Listen with your heart.
\n", "date_published": "2014-11-04T02:30:57-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/11/04/that-still-small-voice.html", "tags": ["Faith","Hope","Grace","God","Courage","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/10/31/brush.html", "title": "Brush", "content_html": "![\"brush](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/3a4528db6f.jpg\")
“The Brush Pile”
This is my project this week. My uncle was here on Monday and he made quick work with a chain saw and cut this all down along the creek banks. However, I couldn’t leave it there to clog up the culvert and provide a haven for critters too close to the house. I’ve been hauling brush every day since and I have a couple more hours worth of work to do and I’ll be done. I’ll burn it in the spring when the woods are wet and the brush has had a chance to age a bit.
\nWe have a couple of trees that need to come down. One is quite small but situated so that it would fall across the electric line should it come down on its own. The other is quite large and down by the road. I’m going to see if I can get a state road crew to come take it out of there. I have a picture of this place taken about 55 years ago. The hillsides were clear quite a ways up to keep trees from crashing into the house, buildings, and barn. Over the years, the place has really grown up and needs some serious pruning. I’m just getting the bare necessities done at this point and will worry about the rest come spring. Just have to batten down the hatches for winter at this point.
\nI have a wonderful book that I read many years ago and recently purchased a newer edition. The Encyclopedia of Country Living by Carla Emery is a wonderful resource manual for living off the land. It shows you how to do everything you can possibly imagine on a homestead. I bought my first copy of it in the ’90s. I’ve dreamed of this lifestyle since the ’80s when I started buying Mother Earth News magazine. I’m falling into a rhythm now. I get my work done by 3:00 in the afternoon then I sit down and read this amazing book and learn and plan and dream. Then I write my post for the next day and schedule it to go live at 4:00am. Then it’s time to rustle up some supper. The 5:00 news is the next item on the agenda, not that I enjoy TV or the news but it’s something my aunt does, so I will adjust to the ritual. Sometimes I stay in the house and watch Jeopardy with her, but usually I go out to my camper and read, chat online with friends and family, or make phone calls. I’ve discovered an app on my iPad that plays ambient noises to cover the annoying sounds coming from the drilling over the hill. I can blend sounds so I have chosen crickets, rain, and distant thunder. I slept much better last night.
\nToday is a trip to town to meet some of my high school friends for coffee. “The Wild Wonderful Wacky Women of ‘71” are incredible and I’m really looking forward to seeing them. We “talk” to each other every day on Facebook offering laughs, encouragement, prayers, support. It will be fun to get together for some live facetime!
\nToday is also Halloween. Nine years ago today, my handsome Mr. Virgo called me at my little needlework shop and said he was in town doing his shopping and he was going to come into my shop to meet me. We had been talking for three months and so it was time to meet in person. He walked in and we took one look at each other and fell in love. I miss him so much. I truly do. <3
\n", "date_published": "2014-10-31T01:30:07-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/10/31/brush.html", "tags": ["Family","Grief","West Virginia","The Farm","Growth","Courage","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/10/23/tough.html", "title": "Tough", "content_html": "![\"wildness](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/0c5676bc04.jpg\")
“May the angel of wildness disturb the places where your life is domesticated and safe.” John O’Donohue
When the truck was delivered yesterday, the driver really didn’t want to leave the trailer and come all the way back out on Monday to get it. He peeked in and asked how many feet I had reserved. When he saw it was only five linear feet and it was all boxes he asked if we couldn’t just go ahead and empty it. I got that “Let’s see what she’s made of” look and I jumped right in. I was lugging boxes up those stairs and going back for more. NOT the way I had that scenario played out in my mind, but here we were. I did call in reinforcements who showed up when we were down to the last ten boxes. (Definitely not their fault…they were originally scheduled for tomorrow.) When we were done, there were four men and me standing around admiring my new trailer and truck. I said something about being tough and the boss turned around and said “Little girl, you dragged that thing clear across the country! I’D say you’re pretty dang tough!” (me = big smile)
\nI’m so proud.
\nToday, I rest. <3
\n", "date_published": "2014-10-23T01:30:42-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/10/23/tough.html", "tags": ["Faith","West Virginia","The Farm","Growth","Gratitude","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/10/16/one-state-away.html", "title": "One State Away!!!", "content_html": "![\"ohio](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/56d1c80473.jpg\")
“One State Away!!!”
It’s hard to see on that sign, but it says OHIO. And what’s after Ohio???? Why, WV, of course!!!
\nI was so proud of myself yesterday morning. I got the truck backed up and it didn’t take more than 2 or 3 tries to get it lined up with the hitch. I had the trailer hooked up in no time!!!
\nI arrived at my friend’s house at noon, just north of Dayton. Cindy and I met in 1974. We were Air Force wives, young and newly married. I was pregnant with my first and Cindy organized a baby shower for me. She contacted my family back home and had them send me presents. When we sat down to open gifts, she made sure I opened my family’s gifts first and when I saw the tags, I just cried. It was so touching and indicative of the kind, caring friend she has turned out to be over the last 40 years. We were remarking last evening how military friendships are deeper than most. When you are stationed so far away from home, you make your friends your family. What a treat it is to see her. I’m amazed…neither one of us have changed a bit!
\nToday I head to an RV dealer to get the trailer checked for that leak and have it winterized. Then I’ll have one more camp out night before I head to WV. I don’t want to be driving out in the country after dark in this rig. OMGosh! I’m almost there!!! <3
\n", "date_published": "2014-10-16T01:30:33-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/10/16/one-state-away.html", "tags": ["Travel","Overcoming Obstacles","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","The Grand Adventure","Growth","Gratitude","goRVing","Grace","Courage","Downsizing"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/10/13/were-off-to-see-the.html", "title": "We're off to see the Wizard!", "content_html": "![\"tornado](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/6940512498.jpg\")
“Tornado!”
There’s not much that scares me, but a tornado in the dark is one of them. I know it’s probably overkill, but I decided rather than sit up all night peering out the windows of a rocking tin can, I would get a nice cushy hotel room and take a bubble bath. Much better plan!
\n", "date_published": "2014-10-13T01:30:19-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/10/13/were-off-to-see-the.html", "tags": ["Travel","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","goRVing","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Warning","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/10/13/the-other-half.html", "title": "The Other Half", "content_html": "![\"missouri\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/01a02705ea.jpg\")
“Map of Missouri”
I stayed in Columbia, MO Saturday night at Cottonwood Landing RV Park. It was clean and the people were friendly but the trailers were pretty much crammed together like sardines in a can. I love trailer people though. They are always so nice and watch out for each other. The couple next to me that night were from New Mexico. They had been summering in the Adirondacks and were on their way home. As soon as people find out I’m traveling alone, their parental instincts come out and they always tell me to let them know if I need anything. I have never once felt threatened or uneasy when I’m parked next to one of the big rigs….motor homes that cost ten times the value of a house. You can just about bet there’s a woman and a gun in one of them.
\nThe days are running together. I certainly haven’t been pushing myself at all to get across the country but I’m well into the other half of my trip now. Lots of rain and I’ve been warned severe weather is ahead so I’m keeping an eye out. I did take on some water again last night but not as bad as the first time. I’m glad I made the appointment to get it checked at a dealer this week. Crossing the Mississippi River yesterday was pretty cool! <3
\n", "date_published": "2014-10-13T01:30:12-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/10/13/the-other-half.html", "tags": ["Travel","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","The Grand Adventure","Courage","Downsizing"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/10/12/sisters-in-kansas.html", "title": "Sisters in Kansas", "content_html": "![\"four](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/7dd1bc4cee.jpg\")
“Sisters on the Fly in Kansas”
I settled in my next camp before the sun set. Had a nice dinner, met the “next door neighbors”, and enjoyed catching up with friends and family with the events of the day. I’m telling you, this is a special life I’m living here! ![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/5ae09c5430.jpg\")
![\"dancing](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/9cec6977f7.jpg\")
“Dancing in the Rain!”
Well, ok…not literally. But I dance in my head. My brain is set to “Be Happy!” just about all the time. Until about 6:30 last night. I was preparing to take a shower when I noticed water standing on the floor in the bathroom. I followed it and found I have a big leak somewhere in the front driver’s side of the trailer. It rained SO hard here yesterday afternoon. It was really impressive. I think it’s either the seal around the door to the pass through under my bed or where the trim meets the body. I really don’t think it’s coming from the roof. I never had one bit of trouble with little TOW-Wanda. This is frustrating but it’s nothing that can’t be fixed with seals or caulk. I’m seriously considering making a stop at the Starcraft factory in Elkhart, Indiana on my way cross country!
\nI am so excited for today! In the early days of Marshmallow Ranch, one of my readers and I struck up a conversation about loss and living a juicy life. She really wanted to do what I was doing in TOW-Wanda but lacked the confidence to do so. After awhile she decided if I could do it, so could she so she bought a trailer and joined Sisters on the Fly. I’m SO proud of her! I get to meet her today and tomorrow there is a meet and greet with some fellow Sisters on the Fly! I can’t wait! <3
\n", "date_published": "2014-10-10T01:30:11-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/10/10/dancing-in-the-rain.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","The Grand Adventure","goRVing","Courage","Downsizing","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/10/09/kansas.html", "title": "Kansas!", "content_html": "![\"kansas](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/8fe0e689e2.jpg\")
“The Flatlands…Kansas”
“Kansas” is the Sioux word for “flat”! Flat, flat, flat! Kansas excels at flatness. It gets an A+ in flat! But, dang….you sure can see a long ways off. It has it’s own beauty. I saw gorgeous fields of wheat and sunflowers yesterday. Large feedlots full of fat cattle. Grain silos, farmers harvesting crops. Winter wheat a new green against the brown harvest. Thank you, Kansas…for working hard to fill our bellies!
\n", "date_published": "2014-10-09T01:30:35-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/10/09/kansas.html", "tags": ["Travel","Prayer","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","The Grand Adventure","Fun","goRVing","Courage","Downsizing"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/10/08/andim-off.html", "title": "And...I'm off!!!!!!!", "content_html": "![\"camper](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/5796bcac06.jpg\")
“On the road with TOW-Wanda Grande!”
I can’t believe this day is here! I’m taking my time crossing the country this time. One of my Sisters on the Fly friends told me to pay the $50/day storage fee for my stuff when it gets to WV and take an extra week coming across. Good advice, Lisa!
\nMy mom died ten years ago and I made three round trips between CO and WV that year…by myself. I also brought my brother to CO from WV via Disney World! I came cross country the last time with a 17’ U-Haul towing my Toyota on a car hauler. I slept in the cab of that truck! This is total luxury having my house with me.
\nI’ll keep you up to date on my travels but I won’t divulge specific locations real time for safety reasons. (You’re welcome, Patty et al!). <3
\n", "date_published": "2014-10-08T01:30:44-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/10/08/andim-off.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Camping","Fun","Growth","Gratitude","goRVing","Grace","Courage","Downsizing","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/10/08/perspective.html", "title": "Perspective", "content_html": "![\"Ford](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/4ed85364d9.jpg\")
“My new truck! FREE-DA!”
The night before I left on my Really Big Grand Adventure, I was so excited I couldn’t sleep. I was browsing through photos. That is how most of my posts are born. This photo was taken this past Monday. I traded in my Expedition for this uber awesome pickup. Every woman should own at least one pickup in her life!
\nAs I looked at my smiling face, I noticed my old car sitting in the background and I remembered…I bought that car 5 days before Mr. Virgo died. I bought it because we were going to buy a travel trailer (very much like TOW-Wanda Grande) and have some fun. Our last car ride together was spent holding hands in that car and planning our future. And now the car is gone. Poof! Just like that. And here’s the good part…that thought never crossed my mind when I went to trade it in. It was merely an asset…something of value to bring down the price of the new vehicle. Healing! Healing is an awesome thing!
\nI stayed yesterday morning till the kids left for school. My non-hugger, quiet one came and hugged me three times. The strong, silent type. The little one had to be peeled off me but she didn’t cry…she just asked me to FaceTime with her…often! I didn’t cry either. Too incredibly excited!!!
\nI drove a good long day. I stopped in Aurora at the awesome Bass Pro Shop and bought a GPS unit before I got out of town. I need someone to tell me WAY in advance where to turn and what lane to be in. Garmin to the rescue! I made it halfway to where I stopped for the night and fixed lunch at a rest area. Then I laid down for a power nap that lasted two hours! It is SO cool to have your house with you…it’s like a really BIG purse!!! I got to the RV park before dark and emptied my black water tank for the first time. It was NOT the big ordeal I thought it was going to be, thank goodness!
\nI cooked a couple of scrambled eggs with turkey sausage crumbles for dinner. I went to the door to “flip” it over and promptly dropped half in the dirt in front of the steps! lol Ah, well…I guess I’m officially on that diet now! ;-)
\nMy first day as a “full timer”. Pretty darned neat! Thanking God for safe travels. Asking for better gas mileage! <3
\n", "date_published": "2014-10-08T01:30:09-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/10/08/perspective.html", "tags": ["Courage","Downsizing","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/10/07/perfection.html", "title": "Perfection!", "content_html": "![\"camper\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/3d2fe436bf.jpg\")
“Saying Goodbye to Little TOW-Wanda. This makes me a little sad!”
I had a perfectly smooth day yesterday. I almost didn’t know how to act! I went to Columbine Ford in Rifle first thing. (Ask for Brandun Weeden and tell him I sent you!!!) I had called him on Friday when I was at a Ford dealer in Denver. I told him what I was looking at, and what they were offering, and asked if he could do better. He said he could and he didn’t disappoint! I got a year newer vehicle, with 30,000 less miles on it, with a 36 month extended warranty for about $4,000 less than I expected! Sweet! The only thing is, the truck doesn’t have nav or a back up camera. But I can deal with that. Thanks, Brandun!
\nThen I went to the trailer place and lo and behold…the trailer wasn’t in the lot! The part came in, she works perfectly!!! And, look who I saw peeking around the corner while I was waiting. Little TOW-Wanda. It’s as though she knew I’d be there today and she came to say goodbye. (Ok, they were winterizing her, but it makes a great story. I’m all about the story!)
\nI picked up the trailer and immediately hit the road. Got to Denver about a half hour after dark. OMGosh! That truck pulled TOW-Wanda Grande like she weighed nothing. Awesome job!
\nI wanted to get on the road today but my oldest wants me to stay another day so she can see my trailer. And, I’ll go help her get her classroom together so that should be fun. She has been asked to open a special ed center in a grade school that doesn’t have one so she has accepted the challenge. Besides, another day of rest can’t hurt anyone! I’ll get there soon enough…at least this delay is MY choice! <3
\n", "date_published": "2014-10-07T01:30:37-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/10/07/perfection.html", "tags": ["Faith","Grief","Camping","Growth","Gratitude","goRVing","Grace","Courage","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/09/29/love-and-gratitude.html", "title": "Love and Gratitude", "content_html": "![\"meme\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/64a8b84763.jpg\")
“Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye.”
I’ve been feeling particularly sentimental these last few days. Not in a “Maybe this isn’t the right thing to do” sort of way. More in a “OMGosh! I’ve been so incredibly blessed by God” sort of way. I have been surrounded by people who so obviously love me and that humbles me. I went to both services at church yesterday and my Pastor called me up to talk with him, to have me tell the congregation where I’m going and why, and to pray over me for my safekeeping. It was touching and the first time I’ve cried over leaving. I’m sure that I will cry next week when I have to leave my kids and grandkids but I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. I spent the weekend with people I love deeply. I am so richly blessed to have them in my life and, even though I am excited for this adventure, I will miss them terribly.
\nToday is errands and tying up loose ends. The part should be ordered for the trailer this morning and overnighted to be installed tomorrow. The brake lights and turn signals also aren’t working so they need to check that out as well. Even though there are little things to attend to in the next couple of days, I have to tell you…it feels really weird to have NO huge projects looming. Well, other than driving cross country with “the behemoth” and emptying the U-Pack in WV and going through it all…AGAIN, and scanning all the photos and documents to an external hard drive, and writing my next book, and…. <3
\n", "date_published": "2014-09-29T01:30:01-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/09/29/love-and-gratitude.html", "tags": ["Courage","Downsizing","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/09/28/a-full-heart.html", "title": "A Full Heart", "content_html": "![\"change](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/d616b7acc0.jpg\")
“Change”
Last night I gathered a few people around me to share some love. My sweet brother. My sister-in-law came in from Salt Lake. My second ex-husband and his darling wife were there. My neighbors on both sides joined in as well as one set of their parents. A friend from Sisters on the Fly. A friend whose company I enjoy greatly. All these wonderful people gathered to celebrate. We celebrated my brother’s 63rd birthday and my ex’s 60th. And we embraced and shared our love for each other as I prepare in the next few days to head for parts east. We didn’t say goodbye…we said “see ya soon”! Some will come to WV to see me. Some I will see the next time I’m here in Colorado. I pray I will see them all again. It was a beautiful day and my heart is full of love. <3
\n", "date_published": "2014-09-28T01:30:58-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/09/28/a-full-heart.html", "tags": ["Family","Love","Courage","Downsizing","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/09/27/jeezopete.html", "title": "Jeez-o-Pete!", "content_html": "![\"belonging](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/6868394202.jpg\")
“Belonging”
The U-Pack trailer was finally dropped off at 5:00 yesterday afternoon. My fabulous neighbors emptied all the plastic tubs into boxes so they would pack tighter while I emptied the trailer of all the items it took ten people to stuff in it Wednesday. Then three guys packed the semi while us gals went to buy dinner. OMGosh! They got everything in 5 linear feet of space in that trailer…it was amazing! I have very little in my car and TOW-Wanda Grande is packed like a house with just the things I’ll need for housekeeping. However…now the slide won’t go out! It worked fine at the lot. But now the motor on the left works but not the right. I took it in but it was too late in the day. They can squeeze me in at noon today and they will have a two hour window to diagnose and fix it. They have no time available Monday so if it can’t be fixed tomorrow, it may be Tuesday or Wednesday before I get out of here. Go figure! On the plus side, my sister-in-law got in from Salt Lake last night!
\nWhen I was going through a really difficult time in my life, I began doing daily meditation to cope with the stress. It was no more than most women cope with…children, husbands, dog, house, bills. But I didn’t have a great set of tools in my toolbox to help me get through it. My learned set of skills for coping was alcohol (handed down from dad) and pills (handed down from mom). One day I was meditating and I had a clear vision. In this vision, I was in Glenwood Canyon, standing in the middle of the Colorado River in June at the peak of runoff. I was facing upstream and the river was rushing past me in a death defying whirl of whitewater that nailed me to the spot in terror. It was all going too fast and I needed to slow things down but I couldn’t. I spread my arms out wide and tried with all my might to hold back the mighty force of the river but I could not. I was exhausted. I was terrified. And I was sure I would die. Then I remembered what they taught me the first time I went whitewater rafting. If you fall out of the boat, don’t get caught underneath it. Kick away and turn around. Point your feet downstream, sit back, and let the river take you along with it. In my meditation, I leaned back into the mighty arms of the river and let it carry me away. The stress literally melted away from life every time I mediated on leaning back into the force and letting it carry me. I think this is why I do so well when all this life stuff keeps rising up and threatens to sink me. I’ll have none of that. Life is too short to spend it trying to control everything. And the view is much prettier looking forward! <3
\n", "date_published": "2014-09-27T01:30:10-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/09/27/jeezopete.html", "tags": ["Grace","Courage","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/09/17/when-it-rains-it-pours.html", "title": "When it Rains, it Pours!!!", "content_html": "![\"when](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/b1d9f70dce.jpg\")
“When it rains, it pours!”
Ok, kids….after sitting around for months, after having the ups and downs of contract/no contract/contract, after coming back with requests for a new water heater and money off for other repairs (which I refused)…the buyers have not only agreed to everything, but now they want to move the closing up from 10/8 to 9/24!!!! That’s, like….a week from today!!! Holy cats!!!! Soooooo….I’m not sure I’m going to be on here much in the next few days. I’m really, really glad I’ve been sorting and purging and packing all along because there’s really not all that much left to go through. Still…holy cats!!! Pretty excited though!!!! <3
\n", "date_published": "2014-09-17T01:30:23-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/09/17/when-it-rains-it-pours.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Gratitude","Courage","Downsizing","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/09/16/confessions-of-a-former-drama.html", "title": "Confessions of a Former Drama Queen", "content_html": "![\"drama](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/3ccd700cb0.jpg\")
“Drama doesn’t just walk into your life our of nowhere…you either create it, invite it, or associate with people that bring it…”
I have an addictive personality. I’ve over indulged in a lot of things in my life, not the least of which was drama. I created enough drama in my second marriage/divorce to make Shakespeare roll over in his grave. Just ask my second ex-husband. Ok, it takes two to tango but honestly, I was the best at it because I had an excellent foil. Children of alcoholics notoriously create drama as a diversionary tactic. And what is ingrained in childhood follows you throughout your life unless you learn to recognize and correct the behaviors.
\nMy correction came in the form of Mr. Virgo. He was a no nonsense kind of guy that I absolutely could not manipulate. I think I cried twice in seven and a half years and, while it hurt him to see, it did not sway his course. The gift that gave me was the ability to correct behaviors that had not served me well in my life. It has allowed me to grow in ways I couldn’t have in previous relationships. People are brought into our lives for a reason. Mr. Virgo set my sails and changed my course so that I could have a much better life experience. This was one of his greatest gifts to me. <3
\n", "date_published": "2014-09-16T01:30:49-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/09/16/confessions-of-a-former-drama.html", "tags": ["Peace","Courage","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/09/15/labels.html", "title": "Labels", "content_html": "![\"label](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/64a17a7777.jpg\")
“Labels”
For a long time I was in search of a label. When I was in high school, I wanted to be “popular”. When I was a young wife and mother, I wanted to be “perfect”. When I was struggling with the mental health issues of depression, I wanted a “diagnosis”. I needed a compartment…a box that I could easily fit into that would define who I was because I had no clue.
\nYears later, when I was well and happily remarried, I realized I didn’t need any labels…that I was “free to be”. I learned who I was and while I was happily “Christian”, “wife”, “mother”, etc. I no longer needed, nor desired, someone else’s definition of ME. And then it was gone in a flash. With Mr. Virgo’s death came a label I didn’t ask for and I certainly didn’t want.
\n“Widow”. I became a widow. I sat with it in my lap for a while, holding it like an ill-fitting hand-me-down that didn’t suit me but I didn’t want to offend my benefactor by rejecting it outright. I mean, I was supposed to wear it, right? For awhile, I certainly felt the effects. In the acute phase, I was inconsolable. Then I was angry, withdrawn, crazy, desperate, lonely, lost, euphoric…up, down, in, out. It was mayhem. But it always led me back to what to do with this label.
\nWhen I was in therapy (and believe me, I was “in therapy” for a while when my second marriage had tanked) I walked into my psychiatrist’s office after having read the umpteenth self-help book on the mental illness du jour. I sat there and ran off the list of symptoms I had read about in that particular book and proposed that maybe THAT was what was wrong with me. I was still in search of the label because if I had a label, maybe I could fix it. I remember clearly…he sat back in his chair, tented his fingers, pursed his lips, and said, “You know, Ginny…at some point you’re just going to have to go out there and live your life.” I sat there in stunned silence, digesting these words. This invitation to freedom. In a very short time, I dropped out of my chosen career field of “victim/patient” and moved on to bigger and better things.
\nDealing with this label of “widow” is feeling much like that tipping point in the psychiatrist’s office. I am finding it much more joyful to wear “happy”, “free”, “artist”, “traveler”, “writer”, “bohemian”. Trust me…I’m fully aware that my husband died, but that no longer defines who I am. HE died. I didn’t. I know that sounds heartless…blunt…but it’s true. I can wring every drop from this juicy life I’ve been given and still give Mr. Virgo the proper respect. And I can live life with joyous abandon. Without self-imposed guilt. My great grandfather used to say “It’ll stop hurting when the pain goes away.” I never understood that till now. Now that the pain is starting to subside. <3
\n", "date_published": "2014-09-15T01:30:12-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/09/15/labels.html", "tags": ["Growth","Comfort","Courage","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/09/13/me.html", "title": "Me!", "content_html": "![\"bohemian](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/28609e6a43.jpg\")
“Me!”
A Christian, first. A Bohemian. A gypsy. A free spirit. A writer. A traveler. A liver. A lover. A mom. A Nana! A sister. An aunt. A cousin. A niece. A friend. An artist. A thinker. A maker. A princess. An enigma. A doer. A joker. A baker. A dreamer. A widow. An ex-wife. An explorer. An adventurer. A poet.
\nWho are you? ![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/b289450e1e.jpg\")
![\"change](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/a79401018f.jpg\")
“The Day The World Changed”
The day the world was forever changed. There are moments in life when something so monumentally shifts that it will be forever burned into our hearts and minds. We remember where we were, what we were doing, who we were with. JFK, Martin Luther King, Bobby Kennedy…all engraved within us.
\nSeptember 11th dawned a typical Colorado blue blaster day. I met my friend, Sue, for breakfast at the Wild Rose Bakery in Glenwood Springs. When she walked in, she asked if I had heard the news. Something about an airplane hitting one of the Twin Towers. We both pictured a small plane, perhaps a medical emergency resulting in an errant course. No one could possibly imagine a commercial flight being flown purposefully into occupied buildings, let alone two and a third driven to the ground. It wasn’t in our database. When we realized something serious was happening, Sue and I decided to go home and watch TV. We stayed there for days, weeks, months…stunned. We walked out into the streets and held each other. We offered comfort and were comforted. The world got a group hug. I remember such shock the first time I heard of a crime being committed after 9/11. Didn’t they realize we were mourning the results of heinous behavior? How DARE they!
\nThirteen years have passed. Heinous behavior continues to amaze us. ISIS wasn’t in our collective vocabulary a few months ago. Yet, here we are. Walking out on the street, hugging people. Let’s not forget what it felt like to draw near to others…to support and love each other. We must remember the fallen and the brave souls who went to their aid. We mustn’t forget our humanity, even in the face of monsters.
\nIt is Patriot’s Day. We must remember why.
\n", "date_published": "2014-09-11T01:30:38-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/09/11/073038.html", "tags": ["Faith","Overcoming Obstacles","Fear","Courage","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/09/06/fear-false-evidence-appearing-real.html", "title": "Fear: False Evidence Appearing Real", "content_html": "![\"sunflowers](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/cad59e91f6.jpg\")
“Sunflowers on Storm King”
Byron Katie does a self-investigative dialogue called “The Work”. The directions are simple. “Judge your neighbor, write it down ask the questions then turn it around.” The questions are:
\nThis is a really powerful tool that I have used many times to work through things. Let’s use a hypothetical situation.
\n“My husband never listened to me.”
\n1). Is it true?
\nWell, I told him things and when the time came to do them he had no recollection of having had the discussion.
\nSo, yeah, it’s true.
\nWell, no. I don’t absolute know what’s going through another person’s mind.
\nWell, frankly it pissed me off and made me feel unimportant.
\nI’d be free to enjoy my husband without being mad at him for “not listening to me”.
\nNow, turn it around.
\n“My husband listens to me.” Is that just as possible?
\n“I don’t listen to my husband.” How does that fit you? I mean, it’s hard to hear someone when your brain is busy screaming at him for not listening.
\nThe Work is not about changing your thoughts. As a matter of fact, Katie frequently reminds you she isn’t asking you to change your mind. The Work is all about opening your heart. The change comes when your heart opens.
\nLook up Byron Katie on Google. The Work is the simplest tool I have ever used.
\n", "date_published": "2014-09-06T01:30:38-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/09/06/fear-false-evidence-appearing-real.html", "tags": ["Courage","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/09/04/argh.html", "title": "Argh!", "content_html": "![\"messy](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/44aec701b0.jpg\")
“And I thought this was getting under control!!!”
I’ve worked in here for two weeks since the last picture and it STILL looks like this! But it’s getting organized anyway. Most of what I’m taking with me is in plastic tubs and a few boxes for easy packing/shipping. Progress!!!
\nI wrote today’s post and hit send instead of scheduling it for 4am like I always do so I thought I’d do another quick one.
\n", "date_published": "2014-09-04T01:30:28-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/09/04/argh.html", "tags": ["Courage","Downsizing","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/08/26/lava-lamps.html", "title": "Lava Lamps", "content_html": "![\"grace](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/06aaea159b.jpg\")
“Grace”
Those of you from my generation are quite familiar with lava lamps. I have no idea how they work other than the heat melts something and it gets lighter than the fluid surrounding it and it slowly releases a blob and sends it skyward. Grief is like that. This gunk stays solid down beneath the surface till the heat gets cranked up and pretty soon there’s an eruption. Of emotion…energy…tears….fears. It bubbles up and gets dealt with until the next blob of gunk comes up.
\nIt sounds all gooey and yucky and it is when you’re smack dab in the middle of the lamp. It’s hot and decidedly uncomfortable sitting in that mess all the time. But when you step back, you see the light. You see the infinite patterns forming and reforming. You see the beauty of the vessel, doing its thing, ad infinitum. And every once in awhile you have to unplug. You have to just let yourself be cool. It’s the only way to recharge so you can face the next batch of lava, hot from the source, threatening to burn you if you’re not careful. That’s what was happening last week…I was in the hot seat dealing with the lava.
\nYesterday was an unplug the lamp kinda day. Mr. Fixit came to do some honey-dos since there’s no honey to do them and I am sorely lacking tools since the great storage unit debacle. I spent a few hours trying to figure out what my furniture is worth. I wrote my rebuttal to the Inspection Objections. I talked to many friends. And I spent a delightful couple of hours walking down memory lane going through a plastic tub I had stored in the crawl space. (I found treasures!!!) I went for an ice cream. And I thanked God for another beautiful day to recharge.
\nToday would have been my beautiful mother’s 89th birthday. Happy Birthday, Mama! <3
\n", "date_published": "2014-08-26T01:30:54-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/08/26/lava-lamps.html", "tags": ["Family","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Grace","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/08/24/attitude-adjustment.html", "title": "Attitude Adjustment", "content_html": "![\"attitude](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/a8f850035f.jpg\")
“Attitude Adjustment”
I had a rough week. Between negotiating items on the inspection that need addressing to two crowns and new glasses, I was feeling at my wits’ end. I was allowing the emotion of the situation to sit in the driver’s seat and when that happens, it’s easy to miss a curve and head for the rocks.
\nI was feeling taken advantage of in these negotiations. I was upset because I was projecting onto the buyers my own desire to be treated kindly because I am a widow. I am a woman. And I am doing this all on my own. I mean, can’t they see this is hard for me? They should be nice. Then I realized, this is business. This has nothing to do with me. They are driving a hard bargain. They are asking for the moon, hoping I’ll hand it to them on a silver platter. I’m not giving up and I’m not giving in. I’ve just had enough of the haggling…it is what it is…take it or leave it.
\nWhen I take ME out of the equation, things get remarkably simple. Hey…when did I grow up??? <3
\n", "date_published": "2014-08-24T01:30:19-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/08/24/attitude-adjustment.html", "tags": ["Faith","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Courage","Downsizing","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/08/23/feeling-stronger-every-day.html", "title": "Feeling Stronger Every Day!!!", "content_html": "![\"stronger](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/357b525427.jpg\")
“What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger…”
Yesterday I hit the ground running and stopped at 10pm. First there were two loads to the church for the rummage sale. Then the mover came for an estimate. Bare minimum stuff…boxes and 2-3 pieces of furniture was $3000. Nope, not happening. I can buy a lot of antiques at auctions for three grand. Ordered the replacement windows…all 22 of them! Feeling mighty grateful for the unlimited, full lifetime warranty on Milgard windows right about now!!! Talked with the building department for the area to discuss codes regarding some of the items on the home inspection. Went to my brother’s six month eval at 4. Stopped at the store, caught up with friends, and called it a day! Feeling much more empowered! I can DO this! <3
\n", "date_published": "2014-08-23T01:30:43-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/08/23/feeling-stronger-every-day.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Courage","Downsizing","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/08/22/happy-days.html", "title": "Happy Days", "content_html": "![\"wedding](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/8578a612d7.jpg\")
“Happy Days”
I feel like I’ve been put through a wringer washer backwards. My world, my life was so perfect. I had what every girl dreamed of. Beautiful kids, sweet little grand daughters to love on, a darling house in the country, a dream job, great friends. And a handsome man to share it all with. I had it all. And in the blink of an eye, it all changed. I still have beautiful kids. I still have sweet little grand daughters. I have great friends. My dream job is over…at least that one is. My darling little house is an albatross I’m trying to get done with. And my handsome man is the memory that keeps me warm at night.
\nIt was an exhausting week. Dental work and new glasses stretched an already tight budget. Haggling with the prospective buyers has left me drained. I met with my financial advisor and it was reassuring to know I’m not going to starve any time soon but she did dampen my parade somewhat.
\nI am a huge proponent of positive affirmations so why am I allowing myself all this negativity? Where is my sparkle when I need it? I realize I’ve been looking at this house sale through the close-up lens. I’ve been keeping my nose pressed to the glass. I need to step back and gain perspective. I can handle this.
\nIt reminds me of when we moved Dan into this house. I kept dragging my feet. Not because I didn’t want him here. I just didn’t want to do all that moving. I wanted to go for a drive or to a movie or play golf. Heck, I think I’d rather have a root canal than move. And…darn it. I thought when we moved back here in 2011, it would be the last move I ever made. It wasn’t. And this one won’t be the last one either, likely. Someday I’ll move back to Colorado to live out my final years.
\nThis picture is a sweet memory of a time when I had it all. I still have it all. It just looks different. Maybe these new glasses will help me see the beauty in that.
\n", "date_published": "2014-08-22T01:30:18-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/08/22/happy-days.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Courage","Downsizing","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/08/21/ahhhhh-patience.html", "title": "Ahhhhh, Patience....", "content_html": "![\"patience](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/a6c2cc3206.jpg\")
“Ahhhhh….Patience”
A virtue in limited supply in my life. I’m a flexible person. I can change direction on a dime and be good with it. But when I want something done, I want it now. On my time. Under my terms. And that’s not the way it works. There are always mitigating factors. And I find when I pray to God and ask him for patience, he gives me all kinds of opportunities to practice it. I quit doing that YEARS ago! lol
\nMy latest opportunity to practice patience surrounds the home inspection and resulting list of things the buyers would like done. There is only one big ticket item and that’s under warranty. The rest is pretty petty, small stuff. I’ll fix it. Not a problem. But I’m not giving an inch any further. I’m standing my ground because I’ve already given a lot. This will get done, the house will be sold, and I will be free.
\nFree. <3
\n", "date_published": "2014-08-21T01:30:26-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/08/21/ahhhhh-patience.html", "tags": ["Courage","Downsizing","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/08/19/towwanda-at-chapman-dam.html", "title": "TOW-Wanda at Chapman Dam", "content_html": "![\"little](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/4571d36b4b.jpg\")
“TOW-Wanda at Chapman Dam”
I’m heading into the home stretch and this will be the hardest part…whittling things down to what little I can pack in the car and the camper. I can ship things like clothes. There are big ticket items that eat up a lot of precious cargo room like the 4 studded snow tires for the Ford. Those can go in one of the bunk beds in the trailer. Pictures are the biggest space eaters. I wish I would have scanned them years ago. Ah…if wishes were horses, right? Books…I already cut down so many. I’ll need to whittle some more. There’s a library not too far from the farm and there’s Kindle. I can get anything I need in WV. My desktop computer goes with me. Along with two laptops and cameras. I have some art that I want to take but I’m going to have them packed professionally. Maybe I’ll call a mover just to get an estimate for how much they would charge to pack and ship those things I do want to take. I don’t want to weigh down the trailer and the car to an unsafe degree. Decisions, decisions…I’ll be so happy when I’m done and settled. Until then, one foot in front of the other. So many changes in such a short time.
\n", "date_published": "2014-08-19T01:30:58-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/08/19/towwanda-at-chapman-dam.html", "tags": ["Colorado","Overcoming Obstacles","Camping","Courage","Downsizing","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/08/19/hanging-on.html", "title": "Hanging On!", "content_html": "![\"roller](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/f0cd146b81.jpg\")
“Hanging On!”
This is what my life feels like right now but I’m hanging on for the ride! The home inspection yesterday was pretty darned nit picky as far as I was concerned. We shall see what the potential buyers say when the full report comes in. In the meantime, I need to get some windows replaced that are under warranty. I may not get out of here exactly when I thought but you never know! I’m praying hard over here! <3
\n", "date_published": "2014-08-19T01:30:28-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/08/19/hanging-on.html", "tags": ["Fear","Courage","Downsizing","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/08/18/memoirs.html", "title": "Memoirs", "content_html": "![\"anne](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/5f10d31a97.jpg\")
“What if…”
I finished writing my book while I was in WV. Ok, I finished the most recent rough draft of my book when I was in WV. I started writing it in 2005. At the time, I was still pretty angry with my second husband and, fortunately for all involved, I put it away for a few years. Things healed between us and we became friends and a tighter family and when I went back and read what I had written, the words were true but the timbre was vastly different. If I would have published what I originally wrote, I would have ruined all the work we all did on our family relationship.
\nI took the bare bones, reworked it with love in my heart, and added everything that happened since. Then I sent it off to my good friend who is proof reading, editing, and converting to the program editors want manuscripts submitted in. She told me the other day we needed to talk this weekend. Yikes…my first thought was “Oh, she’s going to tell me it’s awful!” Instead, she told me it was a monumental piece of work and she’s very proud of me. Hey, it may still be awful, but now I know at least one other person thinks it’s a “monumental piece of work”. And that’s pretty cool!
\n", "date_published": "2014-08-18T01:30:51-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/08/18/memoirs.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Growth","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/08/14/sold.html", "title": "Sold!", "content_html": "![\"sold\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/5383384f2e.jpg\")
“Sold!”
Yesssssssss! Sold the house! They will have an inspector come in and once that clears, I’m good to go. September 11th closing. My sweet brother’s birthday is September 12th. I want to have a BIG going away party on the 13th and then I’m out of here!!!!!!! OMGosh! I’m on cloud nine!
\n(happy dance
\n", "date_published": "2014-08-14T01:30:18-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/08/14/sold.html", "tags": ["Faith","Colorado","Grief","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Fear","Courage","Downsizing","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/08/14/summer.html", "title": "Summer", "content_html": "![\"summer](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/49e8041fc3.jpg\")
“I love summer!”
I live for summer! That’s one of the reasons I’m moving back home. Colorado has 3 seasons…July, August, and winter. And August is iffy. Someone remarked the other day that there are terrible winters back east. Yeah…in January and February when they’re supposed to be. I can take 8-10 weeks of winter. I want to be on the other side of the weather report. I want to watch the snowfall from afar seeing pictures of adventurous mountain folk pushing their cars out of ditches while I’m out on the porch admiring the redbud and dogwood trees with my morning coffee. I want to see a zillion brilliant colors spread over the hillsides in the fall and know what each tree is. I want that feeling of endless summer stretched out before me. Yep, I’m a summer girl and I don’t care if it’s hot and humid and sticky and rainy with mosquitos. Give me a full rain barrel and a saucepan for dipping and I can cool off right quick with a moon bath. Yessss…I love summer!!! <3
\n", "date_published": "2014-08-14T01:30:07-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/08/14/summer.html", "tags": ["Colorado","Positive Energy","Fun","West Virginia","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/08/11/me-haul.html", "title": "ME Haul!!!", "content_html": "![\"U-Haul](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/4b46513385.jpg\")
“ME Haul!!!”
I decided today was the perfect day to rent a U-Haul truck and bring everything from my storage unit back to the house. I met with my realtor today. Haven’t heard from Saturday’s showing yet, but the realtor I thought was showing it yesterday showed up this morning. I was prepared but needed to pick up my reading material and put my coffee cup in the dishwasher. I met the couple and shared SE of my sparkle with them. They were very nice, spent a half hour in the house after I left and then came back to look at it again an hour later! Good sign!
\nSo, I emptied the storage unit, cleaned it out for my deposit, and now have stopped for a bite to eat on my way home. I would choose a really HOT sunny day to do this. AND wear my new white shorts and uncomfortable shoes. But hey, now I just have to empty it into the garage , return the truck, and then I can start sorting through it all AGAIN so I can keep just the items that cannot be replaced. Wow ! This has been a TON of work, but it is so worth it in the end because my life (if not my BUTT) will be so much leaner!!! <3
\n", "date_published": "2014-08-11T01:30:48-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/08/11/me-haul.html", "tags": ["Colorado","Overcoming Obstacles","Growth","Courage","Downsizing","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/07/28/west-virginia-sunset.html", "title": "West Virginia Sunset", "content_html": "![\"wv](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/0ac4f8b657.jpg\")
“West Virginia Sunset”
I had such a wonderful day today! I went to my cousin’s and worked all day on the computer. I had printed out the book then went over it with a fine toothed comb and a red pen over the weekend. I put the corrections in today and sent the finished product to Dropbox. My friend Sue will pick it up and convert it to the software program publishers like and then put it back in Dropbox. I’m sure there will be lots of reading and re-reading in the coming weeks but it felt grand to get this far!
\nI bought paint today for the upstairs room of the cellar house. I will take before and after photos to show you the project! I want to get it painted this week so when I come back, I can just put my stuff in there. This is getting pretty exciting!!!
\n", "date_published": "2014-07-28T01:30:03-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/07/28/west-virginia-sunset.html", "tags": ["Faith","Travel","West Virginia","Courage","Writing"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/07/24/west-virginian.html", "title": "West Virginian...", "content_html": "![\"find](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/9e79dd8afd.jpg\")
“Find yourself, and be that.”
It is amazing how quickly things can change. A few weeks ago, I was convinced I was going to move to the Denver area yet deep inside, my heart just wasn’t in it. I kept feeling I was missing an important opportunity, and I was.
\nI left WV when I was a fresh-faced 20 year old bride. I moved to England to be with my soldier husband. When that tour was over, the next station was Denver. I hated Colorado then. It was hot and dry and without the lush, green landscape I was used to. I stuck it out because I was at that age when I wanted to be ANYTHING but what my parents were.
\nWhen my husband and I parted company, I stayed on in Denver alone…scared to death but determined to give my daughter something different than what I had grown up with. And it was ok. My kids are Colorado kids but they are good people and independent thinkers. I did right by them. But did I do right by me?
\nI’ve yearned to live back in West Virginia for the last 30 years but couldn’t move. My ex-husband didn’t want to live there and I had kids at home for 33 years. Mr. Virgo would have moved with me, but he worked so hard to get out to Colorado, I didn’t have the heart to take him back east.
\nNow, I’m alone. My beloved man is gone, my brother has the life he so richly deserved and my girls are 40 and 24. My grandchildren are 10 and 7 and I have never lived near them so our time together is precious.
\nAfter being here a week, I have decided to move back home. My elderly aunt lives alone on the family farm and can’t take care of herself anymore. When my son-in-law’s mom told me a couple weeks ago that I need to picture what I want my life to look like, then make it that…my answer was that I want it to look like WV, not Colorado. So, I am close to getting an offer on my house and I will have 5 weeks to close then I’m coming home!
\nI cannot tell you the total sense of peace that has come over me with this decision. I have a huge support system here and I’m going to live here for as long as I can. I will visit Colorado and my babies as often as I can. So, another adventure at Marshmallow Ranch begins!
\n", "date_published": "2014-07-24T01:30:16-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/07/24/west-virginian.html", "tags": ["West Virginia","The Farm","Courage","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/07/11/its-just-stuff.html", "title": "It's Just Stuff...", "content_html": "![\"just](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/e8337aac96.jpg\")
“It’s Just Stuff…”
Ok, I’ve had some time to think about it. For those of you who may have missed my post yesterday, my storage unit was broken into and a BOATLOAD of stuff was taken. My entire art/jewelry studio tools and supplies, two huge storage trunks filled with my power tools, my serger, my carpet cleaner…and our golf clubs. All told, maybe $4-5k worth of stuff. The thing that hurt was losing Mr. Virgo’s clubs. That stung. But the rest of it? Let’s look at that.
\nThe carpet cleaner? Well…..yay!!!!!
\nMy serger? I used it to make the most darling clothes for my baby. She’s 24, ok? I’ve dragged that thing around with me for oh…20 years without ever using it…not once. So, it’s gone.
\nMy power tools? Gasp! That may take a little time to get over. But, I can always get brand spankin’ new, ever so much better, power tools! Yay!!!
\nMY golf clubs? True confession? The only thing I loved about playing golf was smoking a cigar with Mr. Virgo! I sucked at it. I am giving countless people a break by not clogging up the golf course with my slow play. See? If you’re a golfer, you’re feeling better already, right? You’re welcome!
\nMy studio? Ahhhh, my studio. Dang it. I love making stuff. AND…I am a Gemini. I cannot do the same thing over, and over, and over. My creativity comes in spurts. I’m thinking God has a plan. Perhaps He saw that I was struggling with the guilt of having all this equipment and supplies and not really making much from it, and he said, “Ya know, honey….I’m gonna just get this stuff out of your way! Now, look….see how much LESS stuff you have to cart around with you? You’re welcome!”
\nWhich brings us to Mr. Virgo’s clubs. You know, the guy that stole those clubs didn’t steal them to play a better game. He stole them for drug money. God knows who he is. He will heap burning coals upon his head. He’s not my problem. I’m thinking of the guy who buys (or has already bought) those clubs. HE’S a golfer! He will appreciate the smokin’ deal he’s going to get on that set. And that bag I bought Mr. Virgo as a wedding gift? Icing on the cake because…that is one sweet bag! No, that unsuspecting golfer who picks up this $1700 set of clubs for a song at some garage sale somewhere is going to really love them. He’s going to appreciate the love and care that went into the upkeep of that set. May he get a hole in one his first time out! May he wear a 10.5D and fit into Mr. Virgo’s golf shoes that are in the side pocket. May his hand fit those extra golf gloves that were tucked in here and there. May he have many, many wonderful days out on the links. And if I ever run across him and recognize those clubs, I’ll tell him about a really great guy that loved to golf.
\nBecause, in the end, it’s only stuff.
\n", "date_published": "2014-07-11T01:30:38-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/07/11/its-just-stuff.html", "tags": ["Grief","Growth","Gratitude","Forgiveness","Courage","Downsizing","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/07/09/update-on-the-house.html", "title": "Update on the House", "content_html": "![\"flowers](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/bea9390e85.jpg\")
“My lovely front porch.”
The house is showing well. People love it. They love the location and the private back yard. The price is no longer a problem. So, why isn’t there an offer yet? Because it doesn’t have air conditioning. Really? It’s Colorado…you only really need AC for about 3.5 hours in July. Except this year. We seem to be unseasonably warm this year. I spent the afternoon strategically placing fans in windows, turning on the ceiling fans, and I have a guy coming over this evening to put the big window AC unit back in the dining room. That ought to make a difference. I’ve also been changing out light bulbs because so many of the lights have to be on for showings. I don’t have a halogen light for the entryway so I’m heading to the store in a bit to get one. Also, I want to refill the air fresheners and put fresh flowers on the dining room table. The flowers on the front porch are divine!
\nAND, the house is being shown today so send up some prayers that this will be the one!!!
\n", "date_published": "2014-07-09T01:30:50-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/07/09/update-on-the-house.html", "tags": ["Colorado","Grief","Gratitude","Grace","God","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/07/08/widows-helping-widows.html", "title": "Widows Helping Widows", "content_html": "![\"it's](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/bbe633b0b6.jpg\")
“It’s ok to not be ok. Just don’t give up.”
A couple of months ago, I joined a Facebook page for widows. It is a closed page so it is a safe place to go when you wish to articulate something that you don’t necessarily want plastered all over FB. In some instances I find it to be very helpful with many wonderful women offering support. But many times I read what’s there and it makes me feel like I’m on a slippery slope and I just can’t quite get out of harm’s way in time. I feel so bad for these women who are struggling so much. I offer words of support and encouragement. I offer prayers of tender mercy. But I’m almost at the point of calling it quits on that site because it takes me to a place I don’t want to go anymore.
\nI’m not insensitive. I know everyone experiences grief differently. And it’s not that I lack patience or empathy. I just don’t like feeling stuck and that’s what I often am left with after reading the posts. I don’t think I have my head in the sand. I’m pretty straightforward when discussing the often sensitive road of grief and loss. It makes me wonder how you all have put up with my ramblings over the last 16 months. I try to be the eternal optimist and not bring everyone else down to the depths of despair that often hangs over you on this journey while still being blatantly honest about what it’s like.
\nMy “Pollyanna” personality (as Mr. Virgo called it) keeps me up most of the time. I totally accept that it’s OK to not be OK. And, I never, ever give up. If I ever tell you “I give up” then it’s time to worry about me. There have been moments when I questioned my sanity. There were times when I honestly had no idea what I was doing. But I get up every morning and put one foot in front of the other and do my best and try to express to you what it feels like. That’s all anyone can ask for.
\nI am not saying I’m doing better than those women in that Widows Group. I question why, or how, I seem to be doing so well. And I ask myself, could it be because I only had my Mr. Virgo for seven and a half years? Most of the women on that FB page have been married for decades. A lot of them are very young and have been left with small children and little to no resources. It breaks my heart.
\nAnyway…maybe sometime down the road I will be able to help these women more. But, for now, my own heart is getting stronger and healing and I can’t mess that up, no matter how much I want to help the women in that group. I have a friend who is a widow at the seven year mark and works as a grief counselor. I love her strength, sensitivity, and ability to just listen. She is amazing and is a wonderful role model.
\nJust remember…it’s ok. You’re going to be ok again. You’re going to learn to breathe again. Just don’t give up.
\n", "date_published": "2014-07-08T01:30:11-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/07/08/widows-helping-widows.html", "tags": ["Comfort","Courage","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/07/06/growing-bolder.html", "title": "Growing (B)older", "content_html": "![\"growing](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/58d6eca87a.jpg\")
“Growing (B)older”
Aging isn’t for sissies. I have aches and pains in places I didn’t know I had a few years ago. My vision has changed…again. And I can remember conversations from high school but not what I came into the room for. I used to party till 3 and be at work at 7. Now I’m hard pressed to make it through a movie. I can’t hear what you’re saying half the time in normal conversation, yet get me in a room with more than three people talking and it sets my teeth on edge. What happened? I mean, one minute I was a nubile young co-ed and now I’m…not. Now…I’m so much MORE! Now, my bullshit detector is much more sensitive. Now, my ability to tolerate intolerance is virtually nonexistent. Now, I save my tears for when they count. I stopped counting my wrinkles and started counting the laughs that make them. I stopped caring what others think of me and caring more about others. I have become much bolder…fearless and strong. I have let life wash over me and like the stones in the river, my edges have become smoother. I’m rounded like a river rock. I’m softer and more flexible. I’m at ease in just about any situation. I have survived the death of my spouse. I am privileged to be this age. To become a crone…a wise one. I am free to be who and whatever I wish. Yes, this is a privilege I do not take lightly.
\nCelebrate who you are. If you are a wise, old woman…then BE that. Don’t be afraid to grow older. Don’t be afraid to grow older alone.
\nThe other day I was leaning into another wave of grief. I was also not feeling well so I was vulnerable. I asked a friend “What will happen to me if I get really sick? Who will take care of me?” She pointed out that was fear talking. She is right, of course. We all have fears. I am not immune. But I can CHOOSE to be brave in the face of aging. I have watched my husband die. I have raised daughters. I have faced my own mortality. I’ve got this.
\n", "date_published": "2014-07-06T01:30:04-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/07/06/growing-bolder.html", "tags": ["Courage","Aging","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/07/05/determination.html", "title": "Determination", "content_html": "![\"little](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/8c9b453047.jpg\")
“Though she be but little…she is fierce.” William Shakespeare
Big strength can show up in small packages. This little girl is much bigger now and she faces competitive swimming with fierce determination. At 10 years old, she takes engineering classes…never letting the thought that she can’t succeed cross her mind. She’s small, but fierce and I admire her greatly. She is my first grandchild. My sweet, smart, fun, determined girl. I felt so bad for her last night. We were watching the fireworks. As a wise 10 year old, she was comforting her little sister and cousin when they were worried the fireworks might fall on their heads. She explained how they explode and burn up before they hit the ground. Not too long afterwards, someone set off a firework in the parking lot near us and sure enough, one of the sparkly bits burned all the way to the ground, shattering her sense of safety. It was painful to watch.
\nWe all experience those moments when we realize our sense of safety has been compromised. Safety comes in many forms…physical, emotional, financial. It is disconcerting when things go out of kilter. We who are walking this grief journey especially like it when things are going along smoothly. We don’t like chaos, instability, or unpredictability. That’s why we get anxious at the thought of losing someone else. We’ve already lost too much.
\nWhen I have a wave of grief, it kind of knocks the wind out of my sails and makes me more vulnerable to worry and anxiety. I have to reassure myself that the moment will pass and not catastrophize the situation. It’s not easy because my mind will take off and be ten miles down the road before I know it imagining the worst possible scenarios. It takes a great deal of strength and determination to walk through this fire and I am constantly amazed that I am much, much stronger than I ever gave myself credit for. We all are, even when we think we aren’t.
\nWe may be but little..yet we are fierce.
\n", "date_published": "2014-07-05T01:30:24-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/07/05/determination.html", "tags": ["Family","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/07/03/more-pics-from-the-grand.html", "title": "More Pics from The Grand Adventure", "content_html": "Colorado Blue Spruce are majestic trees!
\n![\"colorado](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/a04a999840.jpg\")
“Colorado Blue Spruce”
There are great stretches of dead Lodgepole Pine killed by a pine beetle infestation. These stands of dead trees are a tinderbox waiting for an errant campfire or bolt of lightning to start a wildfire that would be impossible to control. They also are a threat to campers or drivers as their shallow root system has died and even a small wind can bring them crashing down with deadly results. Some campgrounds in the Rockies have been closed because of the threat.
\n![\"lodgepole](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/c0e225a9f5.jpg\")
“Lodgepole Pine beetle kill”
Camping in TOW-Wanda on the banks of the San Juan River in Pagosa Springs, Colorado.
\n![\"san](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/834b29fcfe.jpg\")
“My Morning View”
![\"labrynth\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/b7e82a578f.jpg\")
“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”
I have been on retreat for the last few days with my dear sister/friend, Sue. I have also been struggling a little lately. Nothing major, just par for the course on the long road of life. A particularly bumpy spot but not totally unexpected given the stressors I’m working with.
\nThe day I arrived, I walked through the midden pile and spotted a couple particularly beautiful painted potsherds on the ground. Even though I know better than to disturb them, I picked them up…marveling at the fact they were over 800 years old, hand built by the “Ancient Ones”. I slipped them in my pocket without thinking and at the end of the day, I found them resting on the counter of TOW-Wanda’s little kitchen.
\nI didn’t sleep well that night. The next day we hiked and had a grand day, but at nightfall, I found myself ill. All day Monday I was disturbed by something. I couldn’t quite put my finger on what was wrong. Tuesday morning, while feeling a bit better physically, I just didn’t feel right. Agitated, antsy, anxious…all I wanted to do was hook up TOW-Wanda and get out of town. I texted Sue and told her my plans had changed, I couldn’t settle my mind and write so I was moving on. Sue, in her Earth-Mother wisdom said, “Soon, you must lite somewhere and write this book. I will love you and support any decision you make, but I’m going to start kicking you in the butt a little bit. But first, go walk the labyrinth.”
\nI packed up, hooked up TOW-Wanda, and even though it was already in the 90’s, I headed for the back pasture to walk the labyrinth. For those who are unfamiliar, a labyrinth is a walking meditation. A path is walked slowly with intention as you wend your way toward the “center of the universe”. You can present a thought, a question, a problem to the universe and walk to the center where you may be presented with an answer. By the time you wend your way out, if the answer still feels good, you can go with that. My question was “What is wrong with me? What is bothering me and making me feel so unsettled?” Then I began to walk. After 30 seconds or so, you begin to relax, your focus becomes centered on the rhythmic crunch of your shoes on the ground, and by the time you reach the center, you are really open and paying attention. As I stood still in the “center of the universe” I was given a very clear message. “You must put them back.” I knew immediately what this was about. I was NOT supposed to take the potsherds away. The spirits here want what is theirs. When I emerged from the other side of the labyrinth, the message was even clearer. I went back to the trailer and rummaged around to find the beautiful potsherds and carried them back to the midden pile. I ceremoniously deposited them beneath a sage bush and immediately felt fine. No anxiety, no agitation…only peaceful stillness. It was amazing!
\nI thought back over Sue’s words. “Soon you must lite and write this book.” For the most part, it is written…it’s just making myself sit down and put it together. Over lunch yesterday, I told Sue that I knew she was right. I also knew I was putting it off because it’s not pretty diving back into the pain of the last year. I’ll be at the family farm in West Virginia soon. It’s the home of my heart. I made a commitment to Sue, and myself, to spend that time writing…pulling things together while the emotion is still fresh…while the words are richer and closer to the source.
\nI can dream of a house I will build. I can walk through it in my mind and see, feel, smell each room. But, until I pick up the hammer, it’s all just a dream. The time has come to pick up my hammer and get this done. I will be out of cell range for three weeks from July 13th to August 4th. You and I will be disconnected for the first time in a year and a half. But I need to do this. Thank you in advance for your support and love while I journey a little while on my own. I love you all.
\n", "date_published": "2014-07-02T01:30:19-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/07/02/building-a-lifeone-word-at.html", "tags": ["Faith","Travel","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","TOW-Wanda!","The Grand Adventure","Growth","Fear","Courage","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/07/01/contemplation.html", "title": "Contemplation", "content_html": "![\"conservatory\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/c07acd5b90.jpg\")
“Conservatory”
I took the whole day to myself yesterday. I still was feeling under the weather so I spent the day resting and napping and dreaming of tiny home designs. This structure is actually a conservatory. What do you think? Do you think it could be converted into a tiny home?
\n", "date_published": "2014-07-01T01:30:23-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/07/01/contemplation.html", "tags": ["Grief","Comfort","Courage","Downsizing","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/06/30/road-trip-into-the-wild.html", "title": "Road Trip Into the Wild", "content_html": "I saw lots of beautiful, wild places on this last road trip! Here are a couple of photos.
\n![\"wild](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/fd61dbdee0.jpg\")
“Wild Hot Springs - Reno, Colorado
It was nearly 100 degrees the day Sue and I stopped here. The water was almost too hot to get into. The spring has been dug out and lined with rocks and cement with a sandy bottom. It is deep enough to get down in up to your neck. It was SO hot, we couldn’t stay in long, but every time we got out, the horseflies came and bit us. It was awful! We didn’t stay there too long. I think it would be wonderful in the winter.
\n![\"long](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/34abb0cf4c.jpg\")
“Climbing into the wilds of Colorado.”
My friend Sue and I went over Red Mountain Pass and caught this long view of the far mountain above tree line. So many vistas look like paintings out west. There is a rare and wild beauty in the wilderness of Colorado.
\n", "date_published": "2014-06-30T01:30:04-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/06/30/road-trip-into-the-wild.html", "tags": ["Colorado","Travel","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","The Grand Adventure","Growth","Gratitude","goRVing","Grace","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/06/29/coming-unglued-getting-unstuck.html", "title": "Coming Unglued - Getting Unstuck", "content_html": "![\"meme\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/a8578059bc.jpg\")
“Coming Unglued - Getting Unstuck”
I have so many dear friends. I’m blessed that way and I hope you are as well. When you are walking a grief journey, the right friend can make the difference between sorrowful handholding and “OK, this sucks. Now what?” Sue is the second kind of friend. She lives on 10 acres that is home to the Wild Kingdom. She has an outdoor shower. She has a labyrinth. She practices yoga and serves tea and snacks on a tray. She holds my hand without holding my hand, if you get that. She’s my cheerleader and my kick in the pants. She makes me laugh. She lets me cry. She is Mother Earth incarnate and I love her immensely. She always, always welcomes me as if we haven’t seen each other in years. She is divine.
\nAs we sat over our ever-so-civilized tray of delectable cheeses and pickles, peppers and apples and grape tomatoes, topped off with a lovely dark organic chocolate with mint, we discussed the virtue of giving yourself permission to get on with your life after losing a significant other. And to do so without guilt.
\nThere are basically two kinds of guilt. Real guilt occurs when you’ve actually done something wrong and you feel bad about it, such as purposefully hurting another physically or emotionally. Self-imposed guilt is when you get it in your head that you should have done something but you didn’t, such as not insisting your husband get that cardiac work up that the doctor wanted even though it was entirely your husband’s choice not to do it. Or thinking that if you “get happy” after your spouse dies, people might think you didn’t really love him. Or that if you change anything in the house after he’s gone, people may think less of you.
\nGranted, we all grieve differently. There is no formula or schedule that gives you a clue as to where you are in the process. Some people process grief in a few months. Others may take years. But if your grief has been going on for more than a couple of years, if it’s getting worse instead of better, and if you are avoiding taking part in life…it’s time to get some help. There are resources out there that can help you get through the toughest situations.
\nI’m going to practice a little tough love here. If you find yourself saying “never” a lot (as in, “I am never going to be happy again.” or “I will never go on another vacation.”) then you are making a choice. Is your life ever going to be the same? No, it is not. Grief changes people. Is there anyone in the world that lived through 9/11 that was not changed by it? I don’t think so. But, we have choices. We may have had an awful lot taken from us that dreadful day when we lost our loved one, but there’s one thing that no one can take from us. Choice. We can feel stuck. That’s ok. I still feel stuck once in awhile. But we can choose to take a new look, make a new choice, try something different. Every day we get up, we have that split second of choice. Good day. Bad day. Maybe just “a little bit better day”. It isn’t easy. It’s the hardest thing you’ll probably ever do in your life. But you CAN do this. The only person you need permission from to be happy is…you. Be gentle with your precious self, but give yourself a firm kick in the butt when you need it!
\n", "date_published": "2014-06-29T01:30:36-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/06/29/coming-unglued-getting-unstuck.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Growth","Courage","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/06/28/writing.html", "title": "Writing", "content_html": "![\"anne](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/30f47fda90.jpg\")
“I want to write, but more than that, I want to bring out all kinds of things that lie buried deep in my heart.” Anne Frank
I write every day. Once it became apparent this page was going to be more about my journey than my jewelry, I made a commitment to sit down and think about where I am in the moment and where I am on my journey. I made a commitment to be brutally honest, whether it was pretty or not. So I write…every single day. Except when I know I will be out of cell range. Then I write several days worth of posts ahead of time and schedule one to be published every day that I’m gone. I made a commitment. To you. To myself. I am proud to have this opportunity to share with so many loving, supportive people. I am touched that I have the opportunity to help others on their journey. It’s a blessing.
\nI will have plenty of time while I’m here to do some serious writing. I also have plenty if time to hang out with my friend and peace mentor and let my inner child out to play. So often in life, our responsibilities make us too serious. They take away all the fun out of life. We have to “make hay when the sun shines” and get outside and play because before we know it, we’ll be shoveling snow wondering where July went!
\nMay you step away from the computer, the TV, the cell phone, the laundry and the chores long enough to go outside and put your bare feet in the grass today. Go ahead…do it! You know you want to!
\nWe’ll catch up later!
\n", "date_published": "2014-06-28T01:30:50-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/06/28/writing.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Courage","Writing"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/06/25/magic.html", "title": "Magic!", "content_html": "![\"woman](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/c4fc963b1c.jpg\")
“Magic!”
Something magical is happening. Since I put the house on the market, I haven’t slept in it. The most I’ve “cooked” was making a bowl of cereal the other day. I use the shower and immediately clean the bathroom to showing perfection. It took a great deal of effort and a fair amount of money to get this place in tip-top shape and I’ll be darned if I’m going to mess it up when I have a perfectly good house on wheels to stay in.
\nHere’s where the magic comes in. I’m losing my attachment to my “stuff”. You know, those things I carefully boxed up because I just HAD to have them? Oh, there are certainly things I would never, ever part with, but by golly…I’m sitting here thinking about those boxes in storage and running an inventory in my head and I can’t think of more than a dozen things that are in there! And if I don’t even KNOW what I have, why on earth do I need it? This is a beautiful revelation.
\nMy son-in-law’s mom is the dearest person and we are just as much family as if we were blood relatives. I was sitting at her kitchen table having coffee last week. She said, “You know, Ginny…the first thing you need to do is picture exactly what you want your life to look like, then go out and find what fits that picture.” Brilliant! I’ve always accepted whatever house was available and fit my life into it. This time I have an opportunity to totally create the kind of LIFE I want then I can pick and choose what fits into it, be it home, work, travel…whatever. This is a whole new concept to my creative brain and it’s running on overtime with imagination.
\nIn order to begin this new creation, I have to come up with a list of priorities. Now that I have the house under control, I can spend the days I’m not working divided into three parts. The first part of the day is when I’m most rested and it’s cooler, so I’ll spend that doing any cleaning/gardening/purging/hauling that needs to be done. The second part of the day is when it’s hot and uncomfortable, so I will spend that portion doing sedentary activities like sorting through boxes of papers and pictures, working online taking a downsizing class, and writing my blog posts and book. The third part of the day is when it has cooled off and I am the most relaxed and creative. I can use those hours to read, research, and define my new lifestyle.
\nI’ve come a long way on this grief journey. This time last year…well, I really don’t remember much at all about last year, which is probably a good thing. I still miss Mr. Virgo. It still hurts. But I’ve grown a lot this year and I know he would be pleased with my progress. I refuse to sit and let grass grow under my feet. This is good stuff here!
\n", "date_published": "2014-06-25T01:30:53-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/06/25/magic.html", "tags": ["Colorado","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Growth","Gratitude","Wisdom","Courage","Presence","Downsizing"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/06/20/ewes-not-fatewes-fluffy.html", "title": "\"Ewe's not fat...ewe's fluffy!\"", "content_html": "![\"dori](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/4145678757.jpg\")
“Ewe’s not fat…ewe’s just fluffy!”
I swear…ever since I made the decision to sell the house I’ve been eating everything that I normally stay away from. My new rule seems to be “If it’s not nailed down, it’s fair game!”
\nStress eating has always been my nemesis. Sweet, salty, and fried things sing a Siren’s song, tempting me and leading me down a familiar path. Comfort foods. Food you don’t need that feeds a monster inside…uncertainty, fear, insecurity. The trouble is, once that monster is awakened, it is NOT easy to cage him again.
\nI am (almost) past the point of hating my body. Madison Avenue gives us airbrushed images that are simply unattainable. Sometimes the attempt to create an image of the perfect woman results in noticeably poor, often laughable, airbrush technique. I try to find these editing mistakes which divert my attention from my cellulite and big, comfy tummy. I am (almost) to the point of not caring that these bat wings on my arms are nearing the capability of flight
\nSeriously, I have (almost) licked the negative self-talk. I know this phase is temporary. Things always turn around when the stress monster is forced back in his cage. I know this too shall pass.
\n<3
\n", "date_published": "2014-06-20T01:30:39-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/06/20/ewes-not-fatewes-fluffy.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Courage","Downsizing"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/06/15/my-house.html", "title": "My House", "content_html": "Letting go of this house is a bittersweet affair. It was my first home I owned all on my own so I have been very proud of it. Yet, it is the home I shared with Mr. Virgo and his memory is around every corner. We refinanced it just five months before he died, which gives me a mortgage until I am 90 years old…not something I am willing to contend with. So, off she goes. Prayers for a buyer who loves it as much as I did!
\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/25582fdf99.jpg\")
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“I Did It!!!”
I spent so much energy wondering how on earth I was ever going to get this house in shape to put it on the market. I whined. I cried. I complained. But, I persevered. And I got it done. Thank you to Hannah and Denise and Hunter for the time you could give me. Thank you to my neighbors for popping in when I needed a little muscle to move things around. Thank you God for having faith in me! The house is listed, the St. Joseph statue has been buried and prayed over. I’m sleeping in today!
\n", "date_published": "2014-06-14T01:30:38-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/06/14/i-did-it.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Gratitude","Courage","Downsizing"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/06/12/my-story.html", "title": "My Story", "content_html": "![\"your](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/94b142de2d.jpg\")
“Collect things you love, that are authentic to you, and your house becomes your story.”
My story is packed away in boxes stacked neatly in a 10x10 square. I chose my treasures wisely, selecting those with the grandest of stories. My great-grandfather’s bowler hat and walking stick. I remember when I was very young, my grandpa would play a tune on the fiddle and Grandpa Richardson would dance a soft-shoe across the back porch. I have my grandma’s churn and treadle sewing machine. My grandmother’s radio.
\nIt’s not just the older generation coming along with me on my next journey. My grade school lunch box, my bride doll, even my little rubber lamb from my toddler days made the cut. My children’s handprints.
\nI’m a storyteller. When you enter my house, your eye will move from place to place, resting here and there on an object of interest. If I notice you enjoying my collections, I’ll likely take you by the arm and tell you the stories behind each one. I’ve bored many guests to tears that way ! :-)
\nIt became easier to purge much of my stuff when I asked myself some questions. 1) Do I LOVE it? 2) Does it have a great story? 3) Will it make my life more joyful? And 4) Is there any chance my kids will want it? If the answer to all four questions was yes….and I mean an enthusiastic YES…it went to storage. After it’s been there awhile, if I open the box and it feels like Christmas morning when I was six, then I’ve got a keeper. If not, then I will re-evaluate. I have the time. I have the patience. I have the resources. I am so very grateful. <3
\n", "date_published": "2014-06-12T01:30:49-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/06/12/my-story.html", "tags": ["Grief","Growth","Gratitude","Courage","Downsizing"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/06/11/when-a-home-becomes-a.html", "title": "When a Home Becomes a House", "content_html": "![\"handprints](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/a557c95134.jpg\")
“Our Handprints in the Driveway”
Handprints in wet cement. Something so few of us have the privilege to do….to build a house from the ground up. Then comes the fun part…filling it with love and laughter and family, and turning it into a home. That’s what we did, the Divine Miss H and me. We anxiously waited for the day they poured the driveway. We put our hands in and celebrated as if we were getting our stars in front of Grauman’s Chinese Theater. She was 10.
\nMy youngest daughter and I were getting to know each other again. I was on the up side of a long bout of depression and this little girl had taken the brunt of it as it ravaged our lives and ended the only marriage she knew. This house was our haven where we had girl nights and did our nails. Where we sat in the middle of the bed with a pint of Ben & Jerry’s and a spoon, crying over bullies. Where we worked out the knots of adolescence and homework and learning to drive.
\nIt was quiet. I didn’t like fighting over the TV so when the house was finished, I just didn’t connect the cable. We read. We played games. We talked. We grew and healed and became a family again. Our house was a home…the haven we both needed. Then…along came Mr. Virgo and so much love and joy and noise and happiness came in with him! He and Miss H bonded immediately. She was fifteen…it could have gone either way, but we all adored each other. A couple years later, the baby was gone off to college. Mr. Virgo and I were gypsies for three and a half years then came back home. I thought we were coming home to stay. I thought I would never move again. Turns out, only one of us is staying…and he’s up on the hill across the road.
\nThings change. That’s an absolute. And one of the things that has changed is my home that I so carefully built and tended. Funny…..it turned back into a house. It’s got walls and structure. It’s aesthetically pleasing. It’s in a nice neighborhood. It has a mountain behind it and a view of the valley in front. It has a covered porch. But it’s just a house.
\nMy “home” left with Mr. Virgo. I am in search of a new home now. There is a part of me that will miss this place because of the sweet memories made. And, it’s those memories that linger around every corner…whispering “They don’t live here anymore.” It’s time to fly, my sweets. And I’m good with that.
\n", "date_published": "2014-06-11T01:30:27-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/06/11/when-a-home-becomes-a.html", "tags": ["Family","Grief","Growth","Courage","Downsizing"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/06/10/breathe.html", "title": "Breathe", "content_html": "![\"feather](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/01d7656c6a.jpg\")
“Breathe”
The thought that my love was once in a lifetime paralyzed me. It made me so sad to think I could never have that again. Then I remembered….I didn’t pass the clairvoyance test and I have no earthly idea what the future holds for me. Am I destined to be alone and sad and lonely and miserable for the rest of my life? Heck no. I am destined to remind myself that my HUSBAND died…I didn’t. I have an obligation here…I OWE it to him to live those days of life that he was deprived of. I owe it to my children and my grandchildren to go out and do something with my life and show them how to be a widow because someday it may be them and I want them to be prepared. And I owe it to myself to live every day of my life. Actually LIVE it…and I can’t do that if I look backwards all the time. Do I miss my man? Hell yes! Would I give my right arm to have him back? You bet your sweet patootie! But that ain’t gonna happen so I’m makin’ lemonade here as fast as I can. Everyone’s grief is different. I honor that. My heart goes out to anyone going through this because it’s the suckiest thing I have ever done and I am sure it is for everyone else. My life, my future is in God’s hands but I’ll be darned if I’m just going sit and cry every day for what’s left of it! Feeling determined!
\n", "date_published": "2014-06-10T01:30:01-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/06/10/breathe.html", "tags": ["Grief","Comfort","Fear","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/06/09/a-day-of-rest.html", "title": "A Day of Rest", "content_html": "![\"little](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/6427866efa.jpg\")
“I’ve loved to fish since I was knew high to a grasshopper!”
I’ve been burning the candle at both ends lately. Saturday night, I was feeling pretty sorry for myself. I was hot, dirty and exhausted. My feet were killing me and I was feeling overwhelmed. So I did what I usually do. I called a buddy up and he made me laugh hard about some ridiculous thing. Then I texted back and forth for awhile with a couple of my gal pals. Around 8 o’clock, my brother/friend Greg called and said those three little words every woman wants to hear…“I’ll make dinner!” Yes! I went over right away (we live a few blocks apart). We laughed and caught up with each other’s lives. He cooked and let me ramble on about all the packing and purging I’ve been doing. He gave me Aleve for my sore foot and ice to press into the sore places. He rubbed my shoulders then he did the best thing any friend can let a widow do. He let me lean back against him on the couch while I talked about my loss and the changes I am bringing into my life in the coming months. He is as much a brother to me as my own and I felt so much better when I went home.
\nI got up yesterday morning and went to church. The rain held off till I was in the grocery store. I came home, took a hot bath, and then a nap. That was exactly what I needed.
\nThe day was also productive. I sold a primitive cabinet and a car. But I didn’t pack. I didn’t carry boxes. I sorted a few pictures but that was it. Then I ate ice cream. Yes…it was a good day!
\nThis picture was taken exactly 57 years ago. My grandma had an old bamboo fishing pole and she took me out on the bridge over the little “crick” beside the house to teach me how to fish. She instilled a love of all things country in me. Even though I have always lived in towns and cities, in my heart there lives a farm girl. Even though I have lived with money, there is a girl inside who wants to live a much simpler, humble life. Even though I am moving to Denver to be closer to the kids and grandkids, my inner country girl will find the perfect place to live that offers as much of a country life that the big city, and limited finances, will allow. Maybe I’ll even get to have chickens. I’ve always wanted chickens.
\n<3
\n", "date_published": "2014-06-09T01:30:35-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/06/09/a-day-of-rest.html", "tags": ["Comfort","Courage","Downsizing"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/06/08/the-death-whisperer.html", "title": "The Death Whisperer", "content_html": "![\"Maya](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/e8b80fd236.jpg\")
Maya Angelou meme
We face loss…real, imaginary, potential…every day of our lives. Often the topic death resides just out of reach in our minds. We know it’s lurking in the shadows, but there is so much more to occupy us that we turn away. But what happens when the whole world is dark? When there is no bright and shining path to lead us forward? When you see no way out of your pain? When mistakes made seem insurmountable and things are only going from bad to worse? Far too often, these lost souls choose to end their lives rather than go on. They whisper secrets to Death hoping he’ll be their friend and carry them away from their pain.
\nWe all know of someone who has chosen this path. A death by suicide leaves the survivors at a loss. It is an entirely different grief. It is untimely, unseemly, confusing. We lay guilt and blame on the table hoping to make sense of the hand that was dealt.
\nThere are so many questions, but try as you might, you will never understand what was going through the mind of the loved one lost. You will ask yourself questions like “Didn’t they love me?” Or “Didn’t they think of those that love them?” In that moment, you are lost. You have blinders on and can see nothing or think of nothing, or no one. You are in such a dark, tiny painful place that the only thing you want is to escape. It is a hopeless, helpless place to be.
\nI have great compassion for these lost souls. I understand them. I cannot blame them, because they honestly can’t consider any alternative. I have even greater compassion for those left behind searching for answers.
\n", "date_published": "2014-06-08T01:30:21-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/06/08/the-death-whisperer.html", "tags": ["Grief","Fear","Forgiveness","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/06/06/aim-true.html", "title": "Aim True!!!", "content_html": "![\"arrow](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/ca44754938.jpg\")
“Aim True!!!”
I am closing in on the final week before listing my house for sale. This is the big push, and two of those days I have to work. Yowza! I am listing on Friday the 13th….my birthday. My Day of Jubilee. Certainly my day to take that great, big, HUGE, exciting, scary step out on the limb and jump! I have helpers starting to arrive tonight. I am bartering a bed and beer for hard work. I have the window washer coming Monday or Tuesday. I have a house cleaner coming Tuesday. I have the carpet cleaner coming Wednesday. And the real estate people at the end of the week. This is exhausting yet exhilarating!!! Bring it on, world…..I’m Superwoman!!!
\n", "date_published": "2014-06-06T01:30:02-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/06/06/aim-true.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Courage","Downsizing"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/06/01/being-alone.html", "title": "Being Alone", "content_html": "![\"being](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/e4d860a761.jpg\")
“Being Alone”
I am “off the grid” for a few days of R&R with some girlfriends. No water, no electric, no cell service for 30 miles. Bliss!
\nToday’s post is about becoming comfortable with being alone. Man, this is a tough one. When you are the one who has been left behind, be it through divorce or death, you go through a myriad of emotions and it isn’t pretty.
\nI ran into a couple of women at Starbuck’s this morning. I’ve known them both for 28 years. One lost her husband about 22 years ago and the other lost hers last month. It was comforting to sit with them and see how far I’ve come (as compared to the newly widowed one) and that I’m going to be fine in the future (as demonstrated by the other one).
\nI miss Mr. Virgo’s company. And, I’m beginning to enjoy my own. It’s ok to say that. It’s ok to enjoy heading off for a camping trip with the girls and not feel guilty that I’m leaving Mr. Virgo alone at home. It doesn’t mean I love him less. It’s ok that I’m relieved I don’t have to cook every single night if I don’t want to. It doesn’t mean I didn’t love doing it for him. What it means is very simple. It means that I am perfectly capable of loving myself, of entertaining myself, of taking care of myself. This is not only a healthy thing…it makes it more appealing for others to be around me and it offers me new opportunities to get to know more people. It doesn’t mean I’m happy about the circumstances surrounding the cause for being alone. But it is what it is. Mr. Virgo would come back to haunt me if I didn’t move forward.
\nIt has taken me a long time to get to this point. It hasn’t been easy and there are still some potholes in this broken road. We can’t compare our journey to someone else’s. All we can do is lay down at night and say, “Lord, I did my best today. I’ll try again tomorrow!”
\n<3
\n", "date_published": "2014-06-01T01:30:18-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/06/01/being-alone.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Growth","Grace","Fear","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/05/30/getting-started.html", "title": "Getting Started", "content_html": "![\"getting](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/9a9dcaa730.jpg\")
“Getting Started”
I am “off the grid” for a few days of R&R with some girlfriends. No water, no electric, no cell service for 30 miles. Bliss!
\nToday’s post is about getting started. Do you ever find yourself with a massive project to do and it’s so huge, it’s overwhelming to look at? Do you feel frozen in place? What do you do to get motivated to take that first step?
\nA friend of mine recently reached a goal of walking 1,000 miles. When she started, she was 35 pounds or so heavier. She had to have wondered how on earth she was going to walk a thousand miles! That’s like….a LOT! But, she put on her walking shoes and started slowly, gradually working her way up to 4 miles a day. She wrote her total to date on a page from Joel Osteen’s devotional and posted it to her FB page. It was amazing to watch as she posted her daily journey and watching her transform. (Congratulations, Valerie!)
\nI hadn’t given downsizing and moving a thought till Easter Sunday. And now, here I am up to my armpits in alligators. It was SO hard to let go and dive in because it meant letting go of a lot of other things, too. Everyone…every single person on this earth has lost someone they love more than life itself. It sucks. It really, really does. And every single one of those people left behind will deal with it in their own way. There’s no right way or wrong way. I will say this though….I know personally, if I don’t take that uncomfortable, scary, intimidating, exhausting, resentful, angry first step, I’m going to stay hanging on this monkey bar forever and “ain’t nobody got time for that”.
\nStop looking at the forest, or even the tree…pick a low branch and climb up. Tomorrow, choose another one. Before you know it, your view is going to be a lot farther and a lot prettier. And if you can’t do that, ask for help. We’re all in this thing together…no one is really and truly alone.
\n<3
\n", "date_published": "2014-05-30T01:30:36-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/05/30/getting-started.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Growth","Fear","Courage","Downsizing"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/05/29/letting-go-some-more.html", "title": "Letting Go Some More", "content_html": "![\"letting](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/db61128cf9.jpg\")
“Letting Go…Some More”
I going “off the grid” for a few days of R&R with TOW-Wanda so I am writing my next few posts in advance. No water, no electric, no cell service for 30 miles! Just a group of friends, hanging around the campfire, telling stories, and having fun. There’s a trip to a BBQ place as well as a trip to some hot springs planned. Gonna do some fishin’, readin’, and nappin’. Yesssssss!
\nToday’s post is revisiting the subject of letting go. I’ve let go of a lot in the last 14 months. I let go of the future life I had planned. I let go of the identity I had of being half of something. I let go of Mr. Virgo’s physical presence. I let go of his clothes and his bike. I’m letting go of his golf clubs as soon as I find a buyer. I’m letting go of the house we shared. Letting go is like diving into the deep end of a pool full of murky water. It says on the edge that it’s 12 feet deep. You have to trust that, but man….sometimes it’s so hard to plunge headlong when you can’t see the bottom!
\nI have faith that when I step off the edge, God will do one of two things….He’ll either catch me when I fall or teach me how to fly.
\n", "date_published": "2014-05-29T01:30:56-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/05/29/letting-go-some-more.html", "tags": ["Colorado","Sisters on the Fly","Camping","goRVing","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/05/28/happiness.html", "title": "Happiness", "content_html": "![\"sunset](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/7fab1c7e3a.jpg\")
“Happiness”
I have to say, even with all that I’ve been through with losing Mr. Virgo, I’m still above average on the happiness scale. I have moments of sadness, of course, but the Pollyanna in me soon crosses over to the sunny side of the street. Yesterday was just such a day. Mr. Lawn Dude finished the yard and it looks great. It cost me a pretty penny but the house has great curb appeal now and that’s what I was after. I bought a grand total of 146 bags of mulch! Wowza!
\nAfter my last trip to Lowe’s, I rented a storage unit and took two car loads over. I also took a car load to the thrift store. I filled three garbage bags with junk to throw away. I crossed off several items from the list. It was a hot day and I was exhausted by nightfall, but it was satisfying and productive to see things coming together.
\nHappiness is in the littlest things.
\n", "date_published": "2014-05-28T01:30:27-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/05/28/happiness.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Growth","Courage","Downsizing"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/05/26/somewherrrrrreover-the-rainbowwwww.html", "title": "Some-wherrrrrre...over the rain-bowwwww...", "content_html": "![\"color](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/8cebb8c72b.jpg\")
“Some-wherrrrrre…over the rain-bowwwww…”
Daughter #2 came up Saturday and has been helping me on the house. Yesterday we arranged some things in the living room, finished sorting a big box of pictures, and tackled the master bedroom. We threw away two bags of junk, stuffed three garbage bags full of clothes and shoes for Lift-Up, she took a bag of shoes and clothes, and I boxed up two big boxes of winter clothes. We sat over coffee and I read the lengthy list of things that needed to be done before we can put the house on the market. Her jaw dropped and she said she could certainly understand why I was overwhelmed. One of the things listed was for all of your hangers to match (no wire hangers!) and for your clothes to be sorted by color. OMGosh! Mr. Virgo is turning cartwheels in Heaven today!!!
\n", "date_published": "2014-05-26T01:30:55-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/05/26/somewherrrrrreover-the-rainbowwwww.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Courage","Downsizing"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/05/25/to-be-or-not-to.html", "title": "To Be or Not To Be...", "content_html": "![\"to](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/3237215359.jpg\")
“To Be or Not To Be…”
That is the question Shakespeare asked of us. It indicates a choice is to be made. It forces the person being asked to take an active role in the conversation. It is existential. It is profound. It is the square root of who we are.
\nWhen I was in my forties, I had a teenager and a toddler and a husband who worked a difficult job and was gone long hours. He wasn’t a demonstrative person. I was involved in a hundred different things, trying to keep all the plates spinning on the sticks like the guy on Ted Mack’s Amateur Hour. Yet my soul was starving to death and when everything came crashing down around me, as it was bound to do, I saw a psychiatrist for depression and anxiety. We had worked together for a few weeks when he asked me a question I could not answer. As a matter of fact, I could not comprehend what was being asked.
\n“What does GINNY want?”
\nI was dumbfounded. Not only did I not know what Ginny wanted…I didn’t know who Ginny WAS. I don’t mean in an amnesiac kind of way. I mean in an existential kind of way. I was in my forties and no one, including myself, had ever asked me what I wanted. I changed doctors. I thought something was wrong with him to ask such a weird question. I could not relate.
\nI did finally get better and it was a terribly rocky road to get there. But, even in my “wellness”, I didn’t realize I still couldn’t answer the question. I didn’t realize I still didn’t understand what was being asked. Not until a few months after Mr. Virgo died did I confront my identity.
\nInitially it was “Who am I without Mr. Virgo?” I’m a mother…a grandmother…an aunt, sister, friend, employee, artist, writer, explorer…yada, yada, yada. These are my roles in life…my assigned titles that categorize where I sit at the big kid’s table. I am a Christian and that gives me great comfort. But….what do I want? The BIG “I”. The “I” that expands far beyond the confines of familial roles.
\nThis is the first time I have felt my “wholeness”. I feel expansive with limitless possibilities. I’m learning to enjoy my own company without relying on someone else’s compass. I like this person I am becoming. I love that I am a spacial thinker. I love that I am just the right age and size and that my skin fits me and makes reminders around my eyes that I have had great moments of joy in my life. I get a kick out of my ability to find the humor in just about any situation. I am touched by my heart when it aches with compassion. I am happy that I can cry tears of grief for a man I loved more than life. It means I HAD that love…that I FELT that connection with another soul. And I am grateful that I hold these memories close to my heart. They comfort me as well.
\nI don’t know if I will always be alone. But for right now, I am busy stretching my wings, flapping them around, doing a few little test flights here and there. I’m learning, not only what Ginny WANTS, but also who Ginny IS. I am making an active choice…to be or not to be. I am happy to just be ME.
\n<3
\n", "date_published": "2014-05-25T01:30:08-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/05/25/to-be-or-not-to.html", "tags": ["Faith","Grief","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/05/21/live.html", "title": "Live!", "content_html": "![\"anne](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/aafbdce623.jpg\")
“Live!”
I have a magnet on my fridge that says “May you live all the days of your life!” A sound reminder that we can so easily become complacent in life. The devil you know is better than the one you don’t. Wrong! It took the awakening of spring to shake me out of my winter reverie. I went into hibernation as a means to just “get through” the long, cold darkness of another Colorado winter. My first winter without Mr. Virgo here to keep my home fires burning. As soon as the days started to get longer, I stretched and raised my head to look around only to find myself stagnant and unmoving. Like a bear emerging from her den, I went in search of food. I fed myself on the spring shoots called “fun in the sun”, and formulated a plan. I can sit here till the cows come home and write and expound on my deepest thoughts, but I am like anyone else…I sometimes have trouble following my own advice. Better late to the party than to never have bought the dress!
\nI stopped at Lowe’s after work and bought flowers for the front porch. When I got home, my next door neighbor was loading up a bunch of trash and the old hot tub from my yard onto a trailer to take it to the dump for me. Nice kids, these neighbors. Afterwards, it was hot and sticky. I turned on the air conditioner and took a quick snooze. Caught up with my Facebook friends and now I’m out in TOW-Wanda enjoying the sounds of the crickets and the neighborhood kids squeezing out the last of the sunlight before their mamas call them in for the night. It’s cool sitting here, propped up on my pillows in front of the open window, the gentle evening breeze brushing against the back of my neck.
\nIt’s funny how this journey brings you to such polarizing moments. Right now I am peaceful and content. Last Wednesday I was standing in the hall closet clinging to Mr. Virgo’s jacket, crying. It’s exhausting to ride the roller coaster of emotions. I’ve been told the second year was harder for many of my readers who are widowed. I can understand that. The first year you’re numb. The second year you’re well aware of what has happened and have pretty much resigned yourself to this new, solitary life. And it reminds you over and over that you aren’t a couple anymore. But I refuse to become one of the lost souls who can’t make it past this. I will fight with every ounce of my being to live the life Mr. Virgo was denied. And when those times of complacency settle over me, I will set a weekly alarm on my calendar to call a meeting of the Board of Directors (table for one, please) and discuss where this life is headed. Am I meeting my goals? Am I moving forward, even if it’s a snail’s pace? Do I need to touch base with someone I trust to make sure everything is ok? AM I ok? This week, I am fine. This week, I am up to my armpits in alligators and that makes everything else easier to deal with. <3
\n", "date_published": "2014-05-21T01:30:32-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/05/21/live.html", "tags": ["Grief","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/05/20/reflection.html", "title": "Reflection", "content_html": "![\"reflection](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/a1173848d9.jpg\")
“Reflection…20/20 Vision of the Mind”
This time last year I had just begun my Grand Adventure…my three month road trip in TOW-Wanda. It was really just the beginning of my grief journey. As I look back, I can see how far I’ve come since those lost days. Reflecting also gives me 20/20 vision. I can see where I made some poor decisions. I spent too much money. I got involved in situations I had no business getting involved in, as I was unprepared to handle the repercussions. I lost connections I thought I would always have. I made new connections that I hope will carry through the rest of my life. I cried more tears than I thought humanly possible. I found out how strong this West Virginia gal really is. That strength is solid. I know where it is and how to access it when needed. Something I did not always have in the past. Death is the great equalizer. We are all different but grief will knock every one of us to our knees at some point in life. I am grateful for these life lessons. I guess that is our true purpose in life. To learn that there is strength in our greatest weakness. To learn to love from the deepest crevasse of our souls. To know the compassion of others. To feel. Charles Dickens was right…It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. Life is funny that way.
\n", "date_published": "2014-05-20T01:30:50-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/05/20/reflection.html", "tags": ["Colorado","Grief","Camping","Growth","Grace","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/05/15/in-the-moment.html", "title": "In the Moment", "content_html": "![\"zen](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/b08619c63e.jpg\")
“In the Moment”
This is my point of reference in the coming weeks. Trying to see myself down the road is overwhelming. Trying to remember where I’ve been is painful. Reminding myself that I only have this moment keeps me centered and focused. I will work and live in this moment and all other moments will take care of themselves. Feeling pretty zen-like at the moment with a load of stuff in the car to be distributed. :-)
\n", "date_published": "2014-05-15T01:30:44-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/05/15/in-the-moment.html", "tags": ["Comfort","Fear","Courage","Downsizing"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/05/09/rerun-of-the-rocks.html", "title": "Rerun of the Rocks", "content_html": "![\"rocks\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/f640ddb9a3.jpg\")
“Rerun of The Pile of Rocks”
This was my most popular post ever. It was read by nearly 64,000 people and shared nearly 1,000 times! I have had several requests to post it again. Thank you all so much for your support!
\nThe Pile of Rocks.
\nMy younger daughter wears her heart on her sleeve, just like I did when I was growing up. She’s the fixer, the tenderhearted one who wants everyone to be happy. It took me many, many years to finally gain the insight I needed to help her. She thinks in analogies like I do so this is how I taught her to take care of herself in her relationships.
\nGod gives everyone a pile of rocks. There are big rocks for the big things in life like families, jobs, houses, health. There are medium sized rocks for the average things in life like friends and laundry and soccer practice. Then there are small rocks for the mundane trivia of life like grumpy store clerks or the guy that cut you off on the freeway. God gives us extra rocks sometimes for those unexpected crises like a death in the family or the unexpected loss of a job. But, HE never gives us more than we can carry. The problem comes when WE pick up rocks that are not ours.
\nPicture, if you will, sitting in a great big circle with everyone you come into contact with. We’re all sitting here with our pile of rocks in front of us. Just the right amount of rocks. Just the amount that you are capable of carrying because you need to take them back home at the end of the day. Suddenly, the woman sitting across from you says something hurtful to you. If you internalize and take that personally, she has just thrown you one of her rocks and you dutifully stacked it on your pile. Now, a few folks down is your best friend. She’s having a major issue in her life and wants someone, anyone, to carry this burden for her. So you reach over and gladly take one of her rocks because that’s what friends are supposed to do, right? You sit here all day long, every day, in your circle getting rocks thrown at you and picking up others until you can’t even SEE over your pile, let alone pick it up and carry it back home!
\nIt’s one thing to get up, walk over to your friend and help her carry a particularly heavy rock for awhile. It’s quite another to try to carry everyone else’s rocks plus your own. Let others carry their own rocks. Stop trying to own the world’s problems cause honey, you really can’t live long enough to take care of everyone else. That’s THEIR pile of rocks!
\n", "date_published": "2014-05-09T01:30:26-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/05/09/rerun-of-the-rocks.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","Growth","Wisdom","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/05/08/letting-go.html", "title": "Letting Go", "content_html": "![\"letting](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/a74659394e.jpg\")
“Letting Go”
As I begin the big purge, I look at these things I’ve dragged around with me most of my life. I’ve paid movers three times to tote a lot of it. I’ve boxed and unpacked countless times over the years. It’s exhausting. And totally unnecessary. I am having a garage sale on Saturday (the first of several, I am sure). I am asking my family what they want and giving them responsibility for the care and feeding of those heirlooms I won’t have room for. A daunting task, but I am determined!
\nOne of my readers posted something a few weeks ago and it really hit home. She was holding something, showing it to her daughter. She said, " This belonged to Aunt Mary. I can’t get rid of this!" Her five year old granddaughter said, “Nana…do you need that to remember Aunt Mary?” Out of the mouths of babes, such wisdom. No, I don’t need my grandpa’s broken lunch pail. I don’t need the Sloan’s Liniment bottle I fished out of my grandma’s barn. I don’t need my great-grandfather’s bowler hat or his walking stick. But I want them. They are part of my history. They are alive with their stories. How do you pass the stories on to the youngest generation without the props? I don’t know. I suppose I will whittle, and whittle, and keep those things that I think I cannot live without. Then I will whittle some more. I cannot possibly take my daughter’s suggestion and get a dumpster. How on earth can you do that? With that in mind, let’s look at the other side of the coin. I’ve always been good at that. What if everything were destroyed in a fire or flood? Just…gone? Would my life end? Of course not. Would I be sad? Sure I would. But, I’d still have the stories….just without the props.
\nI can do this. I can lighten my footprint and not leave a disaster behind for my girls to clean up. I spent two whole months emptying my mother’s house out. I was furious with her for leaving me with such a mess. I have since softened my heart in that regard, but man…that was a huge chore and one that I don’t want to leave for my girls. Because I know my daughter. She will rent a dumpster and off it will go. At least this way, my treasures will go to someone who will love them.
\n", "date_published": "2014-05-08T01:30:03-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/05/08/letting-go.html", "tags": ["Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Courage","Downsizing"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/05/07/acceptance.html", "title": "Acceptance", "content_html": "![\"acceptance](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/aa5d405458.jpg\")
“Acceptance”
Sometimes this new life I had thrust upon me sneaks up on me and bites me in the butt. I live my life. I am on my own. I have freedom to do what I want, pretty much. I have choices. This is all well and good till the execution of said choices involves half the manpower it used to. That’s when my aloneness rears up its ugly head and reminds me why that is. What used to be easier with two becomes a challenge for one. Facing a major downsize, yet another move, and all that it entails drove me to my inner sanctuary yesterday afternoon. I accomplished a lot in the garage then went to town to have the tires switched out. I came home and did a little self care…i.e., I took a nap. The stuff was still there afterward and I was better able to take another stab at it after a rest than I would have been had I pushed to work straight through.
\nHow do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.
\n", "date_published": "2014-05-07T01:30:40-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/05/07/acceptance.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Growth","Grace","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/05/04/conviction.html", "title": "Conviction", "content_html": "![\"confucius](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/25601b729f.jpg\")
“Conviction”
When we travel through life on autopilot, we do ourselves a disservice. We deny ourselves the real experience of living out loud, with gusto…with conviction. We need to live life like we mean it, like this is the only day we have…because it is. I have friends who have lost loved ones recently. One is in her 40’s with three little ones under 7 and lost her husband suddenly. He was 42. My loss was great. Her loss…what words can you say?
\nNo death is easy, but these “snatch deaths” are brutal. They’re there. Then they’re not. Just like that. I don’t claim to understand why. None of us can. Oh, we can intellectualize, sure. We can point out poor life choices. We can blame it on genetics. We can look at the bottom line truth of biology. We can turn to our faith and say God needed our loved one more that we did…it “was his time”. I wish I had some words of wisdom, some token of comfort today. But, today is just one of those days that I’m frustrated with my loss. I have made the decision to sell the house and move but the amount of work that it is going to take has me sitting scratching my head, wondering where on earth to start. I hate that feeling of paralysis knowing full well all it takes is making that first step…cutting things into bite sized pieces. I know how. I’ve done it a hundred times. And I also know myself well enough to know these things can’t be forced. I will sit with it in my lap and the motivation will hit me like a tidal wave. I just have to sit quietly with it and remind myself that I have control. I can make choices. I am not stuck or frozen. I am plugged in, like my cellphone, charging up and when the line hits green…I’ll run like my pants are on fire. Until then, I will be patient. I will wait.
\n", "date_published": "2014-05-04T01:30:30-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/05/04/conviction.html", "tags": ["Faith","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Growth","Grace","Fear","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/05/01/a-crooked-path.html", "title": "A Crooked Path", "content_html": "![\"woman's](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/7ce249b0b0.jpg\")
“A Crooked Path”
There are stretches of life that resemble the Gunbarrel Highway down the San Luis Valley in south-central Colorado…stick straight and you can see for miles. Some stretches offer scenic vistas of families at dinner and in the park. Others are unlit, seemingly endless tunnels with no light at the end. Grief is like driving in the mountains of West Virginia. Some turns are so sharp you meet yourself coming back as my grandma used to say.
\nI like to stop here at the cemetery some evenings and talk with Mr. Virgo. Whenever I go on a trip with TOW-Wanda, I being him back a rock. I place it around the perimeter of his grave and tell him where I’ve been and what I saw. Tonight I had to tell him I’m going to sell the house and move to Denver to be near the family. I won’t get to visit him as often. I’ll have to bring his rocks in batches. I told him I feel I’m making the right decision but gosh…could he please send me some sort of sign that I’m doing the right thing? Just at that moment, a beautiful mountain bluebird flew up and sat on the post at the head of his grave and started singing to me, cocking its head this way and that, studying me.
\nI just smiled.
\nCoincidence? Possibly. But I choose to believe Mr. Virgo hears me and these bluebirds are a sign from him. I see them all the time now whereas before, I was hard pressed to see one occasionally in the yard. I love that.
\nThank you, Mr. Virgo…for hanging out with me on a cold, spring evening!
\n", "date_published": "2014-05-01T01:30:41-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/05/01/a-crooked-path.html", "tags": ["Family","Overcoming Obstacles","Growth","Comfort","Peace","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/04/29/age-is-just-a-number.html", "title": "Age is Just a Number", "content_html": "![\"woman](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/f87fe83c57.jpg\")
“Age is Just a Number”
The other night I was talking to my aunt and she was tearful. She turns 80 tomorrow and doesn’t want to be 80. Her husband has been ill and has had a couple of strokes. She has some help with him, but she still does a lot. She’s sitting there watching her husband die slowly. I can understand that she is sad facing such a monumental birthday! So, maybe age ISN’T just a state of mind….just a number. At least not when the waves are crashing. I’ll be 61 next month. I’m sure my views will change if I am blessed with longevity.
\nThat being said…attitude can make a huge difference in how satisfied we are with life…at ANY age. <3
\n", "date_published": "2014-04-29T01:30:18-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/04/29/age-is-just-a-number.html", "tags": ["Family","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Courage","Aging"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/04/26/a-fork-in-the-road.html", "title": "A Fork in the Road", "content_html": "![\"a](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/ea65864d70.jpg\")
“A Fork in the Road”
We have all found ourselves here many, many times in our lives. We’ve made choices and sometimes they are good, sometimes not so much. I’ve never stood at this spot with such trepidation as I have since losing Mr. Virgo. I have never had to make decisions all by myself. It’s daunting to say the least. What should I do about retirement? Should I keep the big house or downsize? What am I going to do about an income? Where am I heading? Who would take care of me if something unforeseen happens? Should I have another relationship? Do I want to grow old alone?
\nThese questions, and a million others can result in a certain kind of paralysis. Sitting and spinning and feel stuck doesn’t feel good and sometimes it’s the smallest of things that can help get you down off the fence. Other times it takes a veritable earthquake to shake you out of this self-imposed stagnation. For me, it happened this week when I was visiting my family and saw firsthand what they are going through juggling everything. I can be of much more help to them if I don’t live three hours away so I’m investigating selling the big mountain house and downsizing to something much more affordable near the kids. It just makes sense all the way around. And it’s amazing how just making the decision to investigate has freed me from the chains of my indecisiveness and helps me take a deep breath.
\n", "date_published": "2014-04-26T01:30:32-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/04/26/a-fork-in-the-road.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Growth","New Ideas","Grace","Wisdom","Fear","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/04/21/out-of-the-mouths-of.html", "title": "Out of the Mouths of Babes", "content_html": "![\"child's](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/44edfe57dd.jpg\")
“Out of the mouths of babes.”
We all adore our grandchildren and each feel ours are the smartest, the kindest, the most beautiful, the best…and they are. That’s our job as grandmothers…to give them everything we wish we would have been smart enough, and wealthy enough, to give our own children. Grandchildren are our gifts from God…our reward for accepting the daunting task of parenting and surviving.
\nMy grandchildren are, of course, the best. My 10 year old is smart and beautiful and athletic. My 6 year old is my loving, tender, deep thinker. I’m spending a few days with them this week and we are all thrilled.
\nWe are having our annual Easter dinner at my son-in-law’s parents even as I write this. We hunted for Easter eggs and exchanged baskets and took lots of pictures. Then my little one, my thinker, my old soul told me she had something for me. She had made me this card. It was everything I could do not to cry. She misses her Papa. And…she understands me like few adults do.
\nYes, my grandchildren are the best.
\n", "date_published": "2014-04-21T01:30:37-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/04/21/out-of-the-mouths-of.html", "tags": ["Family","Grief","Hope","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/04/16/replacing-the-dishwasher.html", "title": "Replacing the Dishwasher...", "content_html": "![\"old](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/ae74befbaf.jpg\")
“Out with the Old”
When you are a widow, there isn’t a honey to do the honey-dos. Fortunately, I’m pretty handy with tools and things. I installed a dishwasher when I refinished my mom’s kitchen so I decided to do it myself. Other than 10 hours and several trips to the hardware store, the dishwasher went in without a hitch and no leaks! I feel SO empowered!!!
\n![\"installing](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/cacfe5de41.jpg\")
“Cleaned out the old space.”
The new dishwasher was delivered…without a power cord! Did I keep the one off the old dishwasher before they hauled it off? Noooooo!
\n![\"new](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/54af3d92ed.jpg\")
“The shiny new dishwasher is here!”
I installed the new dishwasher without a hitch…besides time and effort. No leaks! Go ME!
\n![\"new](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/b9b090ac7b.jpg\")
“The new dishwasher is installed and working perfectly! Pretty good job, if I do say so myself!”
![\"sparkle](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/39b86d0e23.jpg\")
“You were born to SPARKLE!”
You were BORN to SPARKLE…even on TAX DAY!!
\nReally, you were! I know I was. Some days I sparkle so bright, I need sunglasses! Yesterday was just such a day. Well, it ended up that way.
\nRemember a week or two ago I wrote the post about procrastinating? Well, that was triggered by my reticence to tackle my taxes. It was much more complicated this year because I started a business, and Mr. Virgo died. I was so worried because I have had to pay big bucks the last few years. Fortunately, there are a ton of write offs with a business and I’m actually getting a little sumpin’ sumpin’ back! When I saw that, I burst into tears of relief. Of course, I had been chained to the computer since 8:30am. And I finished at 11:00p so it could be I had just had it with the chore.
\nOh, by the way…did you get to see the lunar eclipse? One of the bennies of watching the neighbor’s dog is the use of their hot tub. So I sat out there and watched the moon change. It was all so lovely. :-D
\nSo, whatever it takes…get out there and sparkle today! It’s nearly 3am here and Lowe’s is delivering my new dishwasher in a few hours. I still haven’t uninstalled the old one yet and I want them to take it to the dump so I’d better get some sleep. We’ll catch up later!
\n:-)
\n", "date_published": "2014-04-15T01:30:38-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/04/15/born-to-sparkle.html", "tags": ["Colorado","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Growth","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/04/14/thirteen-months-later-on-a.html", "title": "Thirteen Months Later on a Saturday Night", "content_html": "![\"german](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/a3542ab270.jpg\")
“When is he coming home?”
It’s raining. I have a fever and a sore throat. I had things to do today but just…didn’t do them. It turned into a “me” day. I drank tea and read and soaked in the hot tub (compensation for watching Gemma…use of the neighbor’s hot tub!) and then I caught up with a few back episodes of The Voice on Hulu. While “me” days are often restorative, relaxing, and fun…when you’re not feeling well, well….you know. It can give you too much time to think. And thinking isn’t always the best thing when it’s stinkin’ thinkin’, as Dr. Phil calls it.
\nTell me, how many of you have heard a song that brought you to a special time and place? You feel those old, familiar warm feelings well up. Then you remember he’s gone, and the first thing that goes through your mind is “$#!+! You’ve been gone long enough. Now, get back here!” And, of course, you KNOW he’s not coming back. But still, it surprises you for a moment that he’s gone.
\nI am still faced with those moments on occasion. And I can’t quite put my finger on how it makes me feel. Sad? Lonely? Frustrated? Angry? A little of each, I suppose. It’s amplified when you don’t feel good so I’ll cut myself some slack here because I know it won’t last long. I’ll feel better soon.
\nIn the meantime, I think there’s some ice cream in there with my name on it and Blake Shelton and I have a date! Or is it Usher? Adam Levine? Hmmmmmm. ;-)
\n", "date_published": "2014-04-14T01:30:15-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/04/14/thirteen-months-later-on-a.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/04/11/some-days.html", "title": "Some Days...", "content_html": "![\"difficult](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/13df551d24.jpg\")
“Difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations.”
Some days are easy, some not so much. And some vacillate back and forth so much you feel like a waffle by the time it’s over. Up, down, up, down…those days can wreak emotional havoc. Yesterday was like that. Coffee with the girls…up. Chiropractor (plantar fasciitis)…down. Phone call with daughter…up. Carotid imaging for cardiac screening (memories of Mr. Virgo)…down. Play with the neighbor’s dog…up. Facing the mess post-vacation…down. Talking with friends…up. Headache…down. Visiting with a gal who follows my blog who, like most of you, just stumbled upon it and finding out she lives 8 miles from my grandparent’s farm and we are more than likely related on my mom’s side…priceless.
\n(Six Degrees of Separation. It is a small world. I once was traveling through JFK Airport when I stopped in the facilities. There was a woman at the sink that I worked with in Denver! It was kind of funny though because we had just spoken a couple of days before and she never mentioned she was traveling as well. I greeted her and went for the greeting hug and she pulled back with a look of concern. I was puzzled. Then I realized she LOOKED just like my friend, but not exactly. Something was off. Come to find out, she was my friend’s twin sister!)
\nWe travel a lot of roads in life. Some are easy, some are not. And sometimes the greatest view is at the end of the roughest terrain. You just have to hang in there till you get past the tough parts.
\n", "date_published": "2014-04-11T01:30:18-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/04/11/some-days.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Grace","Fear","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/04/07/simplicity.html", "title": "Simplicity", "content_html": "![\"ram](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/7868a1a5eb.jpg\")
“We’re all just walking each other home.” Ram Dass
Long stretches of silence brings us closer to the source. For me, that source is God and I find His peace deep within. My latest trip brought me into close communion with my source as well as a deep reconnection with nature. I could feel the rhythms of the earth. I heard the wind as it rocked my trailer. I smelled the rain in the air. I felt the chill of snow on my back as I lay in the hot springs whose very source is from deep within our planet. My breathing became regular and easy. My sleep was deep and dreamless. My pulse slowed and my mind became quiet. Life became very simple. Good coffee. Writing. Reading. Walking. Visiting with like minded spirits. Yoga. Stretching. Napping. Vegetarian dishes served with intention and love. Meditation. Prayer. Peace.
\nWe really are one. We are all in this together. What we do on a daily basis has profound impact on the world around us and that ripples out further and further. We get so busy and feel so small and ineffectual. One. One small thing. One small act of kindness. One small gesture of compassion. Can you imagine if every single person, every single day, did one small thing to raise the consciousness of our planet what a difference that would make in the world? Can you imagine if every person in the world said one small prayer every day in their own way of praying what a powerful thing that is?
\nWe must walk each other home.
\n", "date_published": "2014-04-07T01:30:52-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/04/07/simplicity.html", "tags": ["Faith","Grief","Gratitude","Grace","God","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/04/05/balance.html", "title": "Balance", "content_html": "![\"rocky](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/41242dbc66.jpg\")
“Balance”
Life is a balancing act. When I was raising my children, I was doing all those extra things you do as a young mother and wife. Soccer, cheerleading, Hospital Auxiliary…I was even a DJ on the local public radio station. I had a 4000 square foot garden and boarded horses. I canned, baked our bread, made yoghurt and tofu as well as chopped wood for the wood stove we heated our house with. Throw in the time I volunteered at a local Arabian farm in exchange for my daughter’s riding lessons and the fact that my kids are nearly 16 years apart and my husband at the time was a doctor and rarely at home, my life was crazy. I felt like that guy on the Ed Sullivan Show who spun 20 plates on sticks and tried to keep them from falling. I exercised like a fiend for stress reduction but eventually it all came apart and the plates crashed to the ground.
\nIt took a lot of work to put all those pieces back together and I protect my sanity like a mother bear protecting her cubs. I know all too well how easily life can tip out of balance. When I feel the storms of stress rumbling at the edges of my consciousness, I know it’s time to pull back and take a seat deep within. When my mind starts to chatter and criticize, I pray. I meditate. I become the one who listens…the one who hears the chatter. I remind myself that the chatterbox in my mind is not “me”. It is thought. Thoughts come and go. I am always here. When I can sit with that, my mind quiets down and I can just BE. In the present. In this moment. I don’t worry about what happened before…I don’t predict what will happen next. I just retreat to my inner sanctuary for a while. It’s very refreshing and life affirming. It takes practice and becomes easier when you reach “a certain age”. I think we remember that time when we were children. That time before the big people told us what, and what not to believe.
\nYesterday’s drive (note the bighorn sheep that was right beside the road) and subsequent soak in the local hot springs was just such an event. As I sat in my car with TOW-Wanda hooked up and ready, I spent a few moments getting still and taking in the amazing views from my friend’s property. I closed my eyes and concentrated on my breathing. I listened to the Earth below me speak her wisdom. As I opened my eyes, there….flying directly at my windshield, not twenty feet away, was a young bald eagle. He swept right by my window, pulling up at the last possible moment. I smiled at the rush of energy that swept through me. I was ready to move into the next room in my soul.
\nAhhhh…Spring cleaning.
\n", "date_published": "2014-04-05T01:30:59-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/04/05/balance.html", "tags": ["Colorado","Grief","Camping","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/04/04/a-moment-in-time.html", "title": "A Moment in Time", "content_html": "![\"Mesa](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/a4fa4b7f17.jpg\")
“A Moment in Time”
I woke up to six inches of wet snow yesterday morning. The only good thing about that (besides the much needed moisture) is that snow doesn’t hang around long this time of year. When I looked out, I noticed my friend Sue was still at home. About then she texted me to see if I was up yet. I went in for coffee and we sat in front of the wall of windows watching a gazillion birds at the many feeders they have.
\nSue was supposed to go to work today but the weather kept her in. Once things cleared a little, we decided to head up to Mesa Verde to see the ruins. They had about a foot of snow up there and it was beautiful!
\nWhile wandering around it became apparent that I am not in shape. I was huffing and puffing and had to sit down whenever I found a bench. Granted, we were up pretty high, but that doesn’t excuse me for letting myself get like this. I spent the winter writing (and eating) and now that it’s Spring, I’m going to get out and walk. Who’s up for a challenge? Anyone want to form a walking club? We can walk “together” for encouragement. :-)
\nThis moment in time is all we have. Let’s make the most of it, ok?
\n", "date_published": "2014-04-04T01:30:16-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/04/04/a-moment-in-time.html", "tags": ["Colorado","Grief","Hope","Camping","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Courage","Fitness Friday"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/04/01/solitude.html", "title": "Solitude", "content_html": "![\"solitude](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/2ae724ab8c.jpg\")
“Solitude”
Last night I went to a reception honoring a local woman for her recent induction in the Colorado Women’s Hall of Fame. Afterwards, Sue and I met a friend of hers for dinner then we all headed to see the documentary film “Walking the Camino”. The Camino de Santiago is a pilgrimage that takes you from the south of France across Spain. You walk 800 kilometers (497 miles!). The film followed six people as they made the trek, each for their own reasons. There were two gentlemen friends in their 70’s down to a 3 year old trekking with his mother. (SHE was my hero!) The scenery was amazing. The struggles, and blisters, were true tests of the mettle of the brave souls who look inward during this journey. We all left ready to fill a backpack and go. Sue’s friend IS going…in September. She lost her beloved husband 2 years ago and this is her breakout moment, her change of course. Wow…I so admire her! This takes guts and determination and strength…physical, mental, emotional, spiritual. I may have to save up for this.
\nMeanwhile, back at the ranch, there has been a HUGE hatch of miller moth cutworms and they are EVERYWHERE! I read online that they really come out at night to feed and they weren’t kidding. I walked out to the trailer when we got home late last night and the ground was littered with them. Ooooogy.
\nWe are expecting snow Wednesday afternoon and Thursday. I’m going to move the trailer out of the field because I could get stuck in all this red dirt which will turn to clay.
\nHappy April Fool’s Day! My Pop-Pop was born 115 years ago today.
\n", "date_published": "2014-04-01T01:30:06-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/04/01/solitude.html", "tags": ["Colorado","Grief","Camping","Growth","Comfort","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/03/30/the-traveler.html", "title": "The Traveler", "content_html": "![\"traveler](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/7bd0a52072.jpg\")
“The Traveler”
I arrived in Durango Friday afternoon and took my friend Sue’s yoga class. Man, I am so out of shape but it was fun. We visited and I met one of her friends when we stopped for tea afterwards. By the time we were done, it was getting late so we stayed at a place she is house sitting for. I slept in TOW-Wanda at the curb. I’ve become accustomed to my own bed and every time I sleep in her, the price per night goes down! ;-)
\nSue and I had tea yesterday morning and did a yoga practice before heading out to her house. I got the trailer all set up then four of us headed to Hovenweep National Monument. We did a beautiful hike around the cliffs and Ancient Puebloan (formerly referred to as Anasazi) ruins. A little picnic out on a rock at the edge of the canyon was delightful. We came home and Sue fixed a wonderful vegetarian dinner and I excused myself early to go out to the trailer and make a few phone calls, read, and hit the hay. Exercise, sunshine, and fresh air leading to a great night’s sleep in the desert. What a fun, fun day!
\n(Photo taken at Hovenweep.)
\n", "date_published": "2014-03-30T01:30:50-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/03/30/the-traveler.html", "tags": ["Colorado","Travel","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","Fun","Growth","goRVing","God","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/03/29/procrastination.html", "title": "Procrastination", "content_html": "![\"procrastination](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/0d7a8d41e0.jpg\")
“Procrastination”
Hi. My name is Ginny and I’m a procrastinator. Ok, the first step is to admit you have a problem. I am powerless over time. No matter how hard I try, I cannot manipulate it. It will not bend at my every whim. I can’t make more of it. I spend it like it grows on trees. Time waits for no (wo)man. I know what needs to be done. I spend hours on Pinterest organizing my life. The irony is not lost on me. So, when will I actually DO it?
\nI lament over cellulitic thighs, but do I watch my diet? Exercise? No. I whine that my money slips through my hands, but do I write up a budget and stick to it? Not very well. I crawl over boxes of junk in my studio and garage, but do I get rid of the load I carry? Hardly.
\nSo…what’s my problem? I mean, I don’t consider myself lazy. I am busy all the time. I just don’t like the execution phase of activities that are boring and repetitious. My high school chum just announced she had finished organizing all of her (and her mother’s) photographs in chronological order and put them into albums. Oh, dear golly…just shoot me now! I’d rather have a root canal. Hmmmm, not really. I’d rather be camping! See? There’s my problem. I’m addicted to fun!
\nHi, my name is Ginny and I’m addicted to fun. I can live with that.
\n", "date_published": "2014-03-29T01:30:31-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/03/29/procrastination.html", "tags": ["Grief","Growth","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/03/28/springtime-in-the-desert.html", "title": "Springtime in the Desert!", "content_html": "![\"lawn](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/9db2728597.jpg\")
“Waiting for Summer!”
I didn’t realize how close Albuquerque is to Santa Fe. It wasn’t long at all till I was here. There is an RV park I’m going to check out before I leave and I’ll post pictures.
\nI visited with my friend and had dinner. I met his lady friend and she’s very nice. We talked from 3-9 and I’m exhausted! I’m heading up to Durango tomorrow morning. I’m really looking forward to friend time and staying in one place for a week. I’m taking a yoga class tomorrow evening that she teaches.
\nI had a little scare this afternoon. When I unhitched the trailer, it shifted and dragged the hitch 4" to the left. Fortunately it stopped without bending the tongue jack. I hooked it back up to the car and repositioned it and it worked fine. I’m going to the RV place tomorrow and get better chocks.
\nHappy Friday!!!
\n", "date_published": "2014-03-28T01:30:43-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/03/28/springtime-in-the-desert.html", "tags": ["Travel","Overcoming Obstacles","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","The Grand Adventure","Fun","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/03/25/any-road.html", "title": "Any Road...", "content_html": "![\"any](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/2f8f742a90.jpg\")
“If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will take you there.” Lewis Carroll
When I left Denver this morning, it was spitting snow. I’ve lived here long enough to know when it’s snowing down low, you can just about guarantee it is snowing up high. I got a much later start than I anticipated but, being my mother’s daughter (read…stubborn), I decided to hit the road, come what may. My concern for TOW-Wanda’s well being gave me pause however, so I called a friend and asked him to read the weather and road conditions to me. My original plan was to take the scenic route but that would have taken me on a two lane blacktop through a 40 mile stretch that was experiencing 50MPH winds with blowing snow. The alternate route was not nearly as pretty and I didn’t get to pop in and surprise my friend, Emile. (Sorry, sweetie…next time!) It also added 2.5 hours to my drive, but I made it to the hot springs resort which was to be tomorrow’s destination. An extra day of yoga, meditation, soaking, and art can’t hurt! $22.50/night to camp right at the springs. $10 for a GREAT bowl of vegan tortilla soup with bread and a non-alcohol beer. Yummmmm! Soaking this evening did cost $15 plus I bought a lock for the locker for $5 but that I can use for lots of things. Tomorrow, $25 gets an 80 minute yoga class, a full day pass to the pool, as well as use of the eucalyptus steam and sauna. A hidden gem! (My friends worry when I divulge where I am staying, so I will let you know where this is when I get to my next place in a couple of days!)
\nOmmmmmmmmm…..
\n", "date_published": "2014-03-25T01:30:05-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/03/25/any-road.html", "tags": ["Faith","Camping","Comfort","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/03/24/on-the-road-again.html", "title": "On the Road Again!!!", "content_html": "![\"road](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/240361d485.jpg\")
“Take me on a ROAD TRIP!”
After a fun few days with the grandkids, this Nana is hitting the open road this morning! I’m heading south and cruising through Colorado, New Mexico, Arizona, and Utah. I’m going to hit every hot springs I can find and will post lots of pics and stories from the road!
\nTOW-Wanda!!!
\n", "date_published": "2014-03-24T01:30:17-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/03/24/on-the-road-again.html", "tags": ["Grief","Hope","Camping","Fun","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","goRVing","Grace","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/03/23/touching-lives-touching-hearts.html", "title": "Touching Lives. Touching Hearts.", "content_html": "![\"touching](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/3cf5ddabe7.jpg\")
“Touching Lives. Touching Hearts.”
A friend of mine is a widow of seven years and works as a grief counselor for a donor/transplant organization. Her job is to comfort and guide people in their grief as they deal with the complicated topic of tissue and organ donation. As with much of this grief journey, I had no real concept of what this subject would actually FEEL like when the time came to make decisions. As it turns out, my decision was ultimately made for me. Mr. Virgo had spent a good deal of time in Europe in the 70’s and early 80’s and therefore could not have organs or tissue harvested because of the possibility he had been exposed to ‘mad cow disease’. I wish part of him could have been used. The only thing they would have taken would have been his corneas because of his age. He would have wanted to help another and I was so disappointed.
\nMy friend had a beautiful experience recently when she gathered a donor family and the five recipients of the donated organs. The family wanted to hear their son’s heart as it beat in the chest of another. What courage! What love! What a selfless act of kindness…on both their parts.
\nWe never know how many lives we may touch when we are generous…with our hearts. With our kindness. With our words. I know you have all touched my life. Perhaps our paths will cross someday and you and I will meet. And we will listen to each other’s hearts.
\n", "date_published": "2014-03-23T01:30:48-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/03/23/touching-lives-touching-hearts.html", "tags": ["Grief","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/03/22/purging.html", "title": "Purging", "content_html": "![\"purging](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/cef8db2f04.jpg\")
“Thinking about lightening the load.”
Well, ok….THINKING about purging. It’s sort of the same thing, isn’t it? I mean, you gotta have a plan, right? I have WAY too much stuff! About 14 years ago I was living in an apartment…a tiny little place with practically nothing in it. Only what I needed or considered beautiful. It was so peaceful and cozy. So now, 14 years later, I’ve accumulated stuff that no one in their right mind would want. Why? What changed? Part of the problem is Mr. Virgo liked to shop as much as I do. He was always ordering something. But it wasn’t just him. I am a certified retail therapist. Really. But I am tired of all the stuff. I’m going to start purging and sell off a ton of stuff. Just THINKING about it makes me feel better! lol
\n", "date_published": "2014-03-22T01:30:32-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/03/22/purging.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Growth","New Ideas","Gratitude","Grace","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/03/20/cant-wait.html", "title": "Can't Wait!!!", "content_html": "![\"wander](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/ddf0c4228a.jpg\")
“Not all who wander are lost.” JRR Tolkein
This was taken last summer up at Steamboat Lake above Steamboat Springs. I am chomping at the bit to get on the road! I just found out (after 3 hours making travel plans this morning) that both of my kids are off for spring break next week. I’m changing my plans so I can spend time with them and leave for my road trip a little later than I was going to! Can’t pass up family time!
\n", "date_published": "2014-03-20T01:30:38-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/03/20/cant-wait.html", "tags": ["Colorado","Family","Grief","Camping","Fun","Growth","Gratitude","goRVing","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/03/19/live-every-day-of-your.html", "title": "Live Every Day of Your Life!", "content_html": "![\"live](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/b7a5ab393f.jpg\")
“Live Every Day of Your Life!”
There were SO many days in the year following Mr. Virgo’s death that took absolutely every ounce of strength I could muster to get out of bed. And, I have to admit, there were a handful when I failed. I couldn’t face taking a shower or anything, even though I knew full well I would feel better if I did. Something in me didn’t WANT to feel better on those days. Not in a defeatist sort of way, but I needed to feel my worst so I could get it out of me. I knew enough not to let it go on too long. Only once did I allow two days in a row to be totally eaten up by wailing into my pillows with a box of tissues and an iPod full of sappy country music. For the most part, I was determined to live the days for Mr. Virgo who was denied so many. To live them for my family. And, eventually, to live them for myself.
\nI wrote this down….“Get up and LIVE!” There were days, weeks…heck, MONTHS it wasn’t easy. But I swore I wouldn’t waste what God so graciously gives me every morning. Every day that I’m on the right side of the grass is a GOOD day! And some days, I still may take a “rest easy” day. Just because the first year anniversary has passed, doesn’t mean a magical switch was thrown and I’m over it all.
\nBut, how do you make it happen when all you want to do is pull the covers over your head and listen to Linda Ronstadt and Aaron Neville sing “Goodbye, My Friend” for the umpteenth time? How many times do you have to ignore the phone ringing because it means coming back to the land of the living and you don’t remember how to breathe? The answer is, of course, however many times it takes, but there are things you can do that can help. Things I didn’t know heading into this, but I think they may help others who are walking this path.
\nWrite down a list of everyone who tells you “Call me, anytime…day or night.” Write their numbers down beside their name. Then, when you DO need to talk, don’t call the same person every time. Give others the opportunity to feel useful. And, by calling different people each time, you aren’t “wearing out your welcome.” so to speak.
\nAsk for help when you need it. I found it especially helpful to ask friends to have a meal with me once in a while or sometimes I’d go days and just eat cereal, if anything.
\nOn a good day, write down activities you have always wanted to try, movies you would like to see, friends you would like to visit, places you would like to travel. Keep a copy in your purse and on the fridge. That way, the ideas are there when you’re lost and can’t find your way.
\nPut something joyful in front of you that you can look forward to. For me, it was buying my little travel trailer. For you, it could be planning a trip or fixing up a room in your house as a special sanctuary. If you have nothing joyful to look forward to, time will stretch before you interminably.
\nFind a couple of your favorite pictures of your loved one and have them blown up and printed as 8x10’s. You can use a great app like Kicksend, choose your photo and size, and send them to someplace like Target to be printed. You can often pick up cute frames there on sale when the photos are done. I avoided doing this for 10 months because I thought it would hurt too much. But, I can’t tell you the comfort it gave me to have these big pictures all around my bedroom. I wish I would have done it months before.
\nThese are just a few ways you can help yourself LIVE every day. If you have trouble thinking of more, just ask me or a trusted friend or family member to help you with your list. You WILL live again. You WILL laugh again. It won’t be the same, but if it were…if we did not grieve and mourn…we would not be human.
\n<3 Ginny
\n", "date_published": "2014-03-19T01:30:53-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/03/19/live-every-day-of-your.html", "tags": ["Grief","Hope","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/03/18/go-do-its-travel-tuesday.html", "title": "Go. Do. It's Travel Tuesday!", "content_html": "\n
![\"meme\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/ee2b4dd561.jpg\")
“Go do those things!”
I’m planning my next trip. I have at least two weeks, maybe three, with a free schedule. I’ve been invited to participate in a couple of art shows and need to get some things made. I can just as easily pack up my portable studio and make art on the road so I’m heading south. I want to hit NM then back up through the Four Corners and visit the sights in SE Utah.
\nI love my little trailer. It offers me a sense of security. It’s cozy. It’s the playhouse I never had as a child. My fort. My treehouse. My princess castle. If you have the means to have a trailer of your own but fear is stopping you, find someone local who can show you the ropes. Sisters on the Fly has chapters everywhere. With your membership, you can do a search for Sisters in your area. We are always ready to help a newbie learn to spread her wings and fly! Honestly, it isn’t that difficult to learn and you’d be surprised how easy it is to handle a small trailer.
\nIf trailering isn’t your thing, I still encourage you to find your way out for adventures. There’s a big, beautiful world out there just waiting to be explored. You can do this. I got your back, girlfriend!
\n", "date_published": "2014-03-18T01:30:20-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/03/18/go-do-its-travel-tuesday.html", "tags": ["Travel","Strong Women","Positive Energy","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","Growth","Comfort","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/03/13/springtime-in-the-rockies.html", "title": "Springtime in the Rockies", "content_html": "![\"camper](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/5c337b34c8.jpg\")
“Springtime in the Rockies”
I headed to the lake Sunday afternoon. I needed to be alone with my thoughts and memories. The anniversary of Mr. Virgo’s death has come and gone. I loved being in the trailer alone. I talked to him. I cried for him. I wrote…and read…and prayed…and napped. I stared at the water and the birds. I listened to the wind and the geese. And I let it go. This year. This awful, heart-breaking, life-changing yet beautiful, blessed year. This change came from a 12 month gestation to birth a different version of me. Older, wiser, deeper. Grief knocked off some of those sharp edges and has humbled me in ways I never knew. And now? Now I’m ready to face whatever comes my way! I’m ready to tackle new projects. Travel to new places. Finish writing my book. Keep writing here. Take more pictures. Make more jewelry. Enter speaker training (not all who train are chosen, but it is a skill I can use anyway!). Paint. Learn. Grow. Teach. Fish. Hike. Camp.
\nLife is a precious gift. I don’t want to miss one single moment of it. So, I’m heading off to watch my grandchildren sing in the chorus of their first stage production!!!
\nI’ll get back to you from the road!
\n<3 Ginny
\n", "date_published": "2014-03-13T01:30:18-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/03/13/springtime-in-the-rockies.html", "tags": ["Colorado","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Hope","Positive Energy","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","The Grand Adventure","Growth","goRVing","Wisdom","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/03/12/one-year-gone.html", "title": "One Year Gone", "content_html": "![\"handsome](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/146b0c19d4.jpg\")
“My Handsome Mr. Virgo”
I miss you. I sense you around every corner. I hear your laughter in the mountain stream as I bait my hook. I see your smile in the pink glow of the setting sun. I smell you on your jacket…earth, tobacco, leather. I feel your touch with the noonday sun on my shoulders.
\nI miss you. I taste your lips in an olive and bread and pomegranates. I remember our only dance. I ache for the memory to come alive, for just a moment, so I can hold you once again in my arms, feeling our bodies sway in time with the music.
\nI miss you. I miss the intensity of your blue eyes when you told me I was adored. The way they crinkled when you told a funny story. The way they looked off in the distance toward the mountains, yearning to be off in the woods.
\nI miss you. The cup of coffee in bed. The hand on the small of my back leading me to the table at our favorite restaurant. Holding hands in the car. The sound of your voice when you called me your baby doll.
\nI miss you. The cigar on the golf course. The Tuesday drives. The history and opera lessons. The stories…ahhhh, the stories.
\nI miss you. The romantic greeting cards. The surprise orchids. The hand extended across the table between courses. The soft breathing by my side.
\nI miss you. The pretend boxing matches in the kitchen. The tickles. The bear hugs. The warm chocolate chip cookies. The sweetness of your smile in the dark.
\nI miss you. Oh, I miss you so much my breath gets caught in my chest. I miss you with the tears that stung just behind my eyes when I found your note…“Happy Valentine’s Day, my Love!” I miss you in the birdsong out my window, the call of the elk bugling across the valley, in the sunrise you were so fond of.
\nToday, I will miss you with the white heat of the sun. Today, my heart will break open yet again. Today, my pain will sear my brain and paralyze me with fear. And tomorrow? Tomorrow, my sweet Mr. Virgo, I will begin the next chapter. I will spread my wings and fly. I will be strong, and brave, and courageous. I will step out of my comfort zone and live the life God intends me to live.
\nBut, for today….I miss you.
\n", "date_published": "2014-03-12T01:30:04-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/03/12/one-year-gone.html", "tags": ["Family","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Love","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/03/10/my-journey.html", "title": "My Journey", "content_html": "![\"journey](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/137bd30b22.jpg\")
“My Journey”
This has been a life changing year. The life I had planned, the one that included growing old with Mr. Virgo, ended abruptly a year ago this Wednesday. I sat in limbo, somewhere between then and now, in a fog of pain and self-doubt but filled with the determination that not only would I survive this challenge, I would thrive. There have been ups and downs, ins and outs, feelings of cowardice and courage. By the Grace of God…here I am. Open, filled with a joyful spirit, and ever, EVER grateful for all that I have. My life is abundant. I wrote this yesterday to post this morning. I already have Tuesday and Wednesday’s messages scheduled to post because today I am retreating with TOW-Wanda for a couple of days. I need to be alone with my thoughts and my memories. I need to just BE. I’ll be back Wednesday and will tell you all about it in Thursday’s post. That will be the first day of the rest of my life. I’m good. Don’t worry. I just want to be alone for a bit.
\nLove you all so much!
\n<3 Ginny
\n", "date_published": "2014-03-10T01:30:22-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/03/10/my-journey.html", "tags": ["Faith","Grief","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","God","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/03/08/the-pile-of-rocks.html", "title": "The Pile of Rocks", "content_html": "![\"pile](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/2d8e998dd5.jpg\")
“The Pile of Rocks”
My younger daughter wears her heart on her sleeve, just like I did when I was growing up. She’s the fixer, the tenderhearted one who wants everyone to be happy. It took me many, many years to finally gain the insight I needed to help her. She thinks in analogies like I do so this is how I taught her to take care of herself in her relationships.
\nGod gives everyone a pile of rocks. There are big rocks for the big things in life like families, jobs, houses, health. There are medium sized rocks for the average things in life like friends and laundry and soccer practice. Then there are small rocks for the mundane trivia of life like grumpy store clerks or the guy that cut you off on the freeway. God gives us extra rocks sometimes for those unexpected crises like a death in the family or the unexpected loss of a job. But, HE never gives us more than we can carry. The problem comes when WE pick up rocks that are not ours.
\nPicture, if you will, sitting in a great big circle with everyone you come into contact with. We’re all sitting here with our pile of rocks in front of us. Just the right amount of rocks. Just the amount that you are capable of carrying because you need to take them back home at the end of the day. Suddenly, the woman sitting across from you says something hurtful to you. If you internalize and take that personally, she has just thrown you one of her rocks and you dutifully stacked it on your pile. Now, a few folks down is your best friend. She’s having a major issue in her life and wants someone, anyone, to carry this burden for her. So you reach over and gladly take one of her rocks because that’s what friends are supposed to do, right? You sit here all day long, every day, in your circle getting rocks thrown at you and picking up others until you can’t even SEE over your pile, let alone pick it up and carry it back home!
\nIt’s one thing to get up, walk over to your friend and help her carry a particularly heavy rock for awhile. It’s quite another to try to carry everyone else’s rocks plus your own. Let others carry their own rocks. Stop trying to own the world’s problems cause honey, you really can’t live long enough to take care of everyone else. That’s THEIR pile of rocks!
\n", "date_published": "2014-03-08T02:30:09-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/03/08/the-pile-of-rocks.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Growth","New Ideas","Wisdom","Courage","Presence"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/03/07/growing-up.html", "title": "Growing Up", "content_html": "![\"vintage](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/ead88e6486.jpg\")
“Growing Up…that’s my mama, back row, far right.”
I’m sure most of you will relate to this to some extent…I feel like I’ve grown up more in the last year than I have in my whole life. Widowhood forces you to really look deep at yourself, your core values, your beliefs, your goals. A friend of mind told me today that nothing strikes fear in your heart more than death and money. That is so true.
\nI was talking with one of my best friends the other night. I was telling him there has only been a couple of years in my life that I took care of myself (and my child) all on my own. The rest of the time, I’ve had a partner to share the burden with me. I’ve been a “kept woman” for most of my adult life. I was always grateful. I wasn’t always appreciative. And, in the long run, it did not serve me well.
\nI am fortunate to have at least some money to allow me to have taken this past year to regroup. I was not nearly as careful with my money as I should have been. I’ve spoken to many other widows who say the same thing, so it’s not just me. We’ve all made financial mistakes. The best you can hope for is that they were not disastrous.
\nThere are other mistakes we make and we wonder if we learned ANYTHING in our younger years. We have jumped into relationships too fast. We have given things away too soon. We thought we were sane. Ha! Medically speaking, there are many similarities between grief and pathology. In other words, we really can be pretty crazy when we are actively grieving.
\nOne of the first things I was told was “Do NOT make big, life changing decisions in the first year.” For the most part, I stuck to that. I went to a financial advisor and she drew up a great plan. It’s not that I ignored it, per se. I just couldn’t see how it pertained to me. I know…crazy. I’ve said this before, but I can almost pinpoint on the calendar the exact day I came out of the fog and realized I’d spent too much money. It was devastating. Don’t get me wrong, I’m ok. I’m not losing my house or anything like that. There’s still enough of the life insurance left to get by for a year if I’m frugal. I am very grateful. But, I’ve definitely made mistakes.
\nNow I’m at that point in my life where I’m going to have to do something to bring in money. I need to re-learn the skills I had as a young, single mom so I can support myself. I know, I know…I’m 60 years old, right? It’s almost embarrassing that I am just now doing this. So, unless I WIN Powerball (which I hear you actually have to buy tickets for! Who knew?), or some extremely wealthy benefactor comes along and offers to take care of me, I’m going to have to get a real J-O-B. Gosh…I’m such a princess…really, I am.
\nFor sale: One very well used tiara! Inquire within.
\n", "date_published": "2014-03-07T02:30:02-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/03/07/growing-up.html", "tags": ["Family","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Growth","Courage","Aging"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/03/06/vision.html", "title": "Vision", "content_html": "![\"princess](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/540bae1614.jpg\")
“Vision”
Sometimes, I feel…if I could just concentrate enough, I could see him. As if there is a thin veil between where I exist and where Mr. Virgo exists and it’s just a bit too thick to see through. Or, if I close my eyes and really listen, really concentrate, I could hear his voice. Then I realize, that’s not likely to happen. Not in reality, anyway.
\nI read the other day that hallucinations are fairly common in grief and I wonder if that is the pragmatists’ way of dismissing the paranormal. I have heard numerous stories of people seeing and hearing their loved one after they die. A friend of mine saw his wife three days after she died. She told him, rather forcefully, to take his medicine. Mr. Virgo turned me around and told me to shut the bedroom window three days after he died. My aunt was standing at the airport when my grandpa tapped her on the shoulder moments after he died five states away. I saw my grandpa twice after he died.
\nI haven’t seen Mr. Virgo. Not in a recognizable, physical way. I’ve sensed him nearby. But not for quite a while. Maybe a part of him stayed here for awhile to comfort me in the weeks after his death. Maybe I was hallucinating in the depths of my grief. I don’t think there are any of us who wouldn’t want just one last visit. One last cup of coffee. One last conversation. One last kiss…
\n", "date_published": "2014-03-06T02:30:14-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/03/06/vision.html", "tags": ["Grief","Comfort","Grace","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/03/05/forgiveness.html", "title": "Forgiveness", "content_html": "![\"proverbs](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/7217a02a3a.jpg\")
“Proverbs of Solomon”
I learned last night that one of my friends can curse like a sailor. I learned this after sharing a private message that one of Mr. Virgo’s cousins send to me. When I first saw his name pop up, I was thrilled. I hadn’t heard from him in quite a while. Imagine my utter shock when the message I received was callous and hurtful. He was on a rant because I had relayed stories here on FB about Mr. Virgo’s military record, and some other family stories, that he said was, if not a gross exaggeration, were outright lies and he was insulted. He asked me to please leave his family out of my blog posts and to unfriend him. I was stunned. First of all, I only repeated the stories Mr. Virgo told me. I did not exaggerate or lie. Second, I have a drawer full of medals from Vietnam and I know they were my husband’s. Could Mr. Virgo have embellished his stories? I must concede the possibility. But he was a good and honorable man and I choose to believe him.
\nWhat kind of cruel, heartless person lashes out at a grieving widow one week before the anniversary of her husband’s death? I was devastated and sobbed for hours last evening. Then I recalled the bible verse above. I prayed for my husband’s cousin and I forgave him for hurting me and told him so. I feel so sorry for someone like that. Then I unfriended him. We didn’t know each other anyway so it isn’t a great loss in my life. Just an excellent opportunity to walk in the Word and pray for someone with pain.
\n", "date_published": "2014-03-05T02:30:16-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/03/05/forgiveness.html", "tags": ["Grief","Anger","Forgiveness","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/02/23/bridges.html", "title": "Bridges", "content_html": "![\"golden](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/c74ba6e142.jpg\")
“Bridges”
My heart is tender. My feelings lie on the surface like pebbles on a beach, washed over by the waves of grief till they are worn smooth. Gone are the jagged shards of a broken heart only to be replaced by one so tender and bruised that I tend to want to keep it safely tucked away, untouched. At the same time, I yearn for companionship. It’s a tightrope I walk blindfolded, praying there is a net and I’ll get to the other side. I have so many interests that have come along since Mr. Virgo died. I am not willing to give those up for anyone at this point. The good news is, there is no hurry…time is unimportant in grief.
\nI have been expanding my social network the last couple of months. With the new year came new friendships and reunions with old friends I hadn’t seen in years. Connections are being made that will promote my writing and offer new opportunities for speaking engagements. Friendships are being forged and strengthened that offer me comfort and joy. I have a business idea in mind with one friend. Another friend and I are going to plan a women’s retreat at her property. I am being called to speak for a women’s ministry. Bridges are being built between the dark pain of the last year and the bright light of a new life. I am taking steps out on that bridge, a little bit at a time, till I trust it won’t spill me into the chasm below. The walls are tumbling down.
\nThis is good. I am exploring who I am and what I want my life to look like. I have choices and I’m allowing myself to make them. I’m allowing myself to feel. I’m allowing myself time. My network is expanding providing a web of support and love. Yes…this is good.
\nBreathe deep…walk slowly…pick your head up. You are beautiful and strong.
\n", "date_published": "2014-02-23T02:30:23-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/02/23/bridges.html", "tags": ["Grief","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/02/20/the-unaccompanied-womanor-living-single.html", "title": "The Unaccompanied Woman...(or Living Single in a Double World)", "content_html": "![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/892577a2fb.jpg\")
“I don’t want to be labeled as lonely just because I’m alone.” Delta Burke
We live with labels. Single. Separated. Divorced. Widowed. Each conjures up a preconceived notion about the person. Incomplete. Selfish. Sad. Old. Pitiful. Alone. That may describe the situation we find ourselves in, but we are so much more than that. We are rich, complex, experienced, courageous. And…we are alone. Some by choice. Some have their singleness thrust upon them by death or by the choice of others. No matter what the circumstances or what the label, we are living in a world built for two. We aren’t usually invited to dinner parties. We are often unsure where we fit in. We avoid situations that point out our singleness. Our self-identity has been altered drastically…stripping us bare to our very core.
\nI vowed no matter how much it hurt losing Mr. Virgo, I wasn’t going to sit at home, wring my hands, and adopt way too many cats. (Not that there’s a single thing wrong with having cats, mind you.) If I am going to be labeled, I prefer a label of my own choosing. I prefer ‘unaccompanied woman’. I know there are women who have taken care of everyone else all their lives and now they’re done…they embrace being alone. And, as long as that is what makes you happy, that’s great. I honestly don’t prefer to BE unaccompanied most times, but when I dine or travel I am often alone. Sometimes I end up alone simply because I didn’t think ahead and plan. Sometimes I end up staying at home because I didn’t do my homework. There are several online resources that can help you design a life you can love. I love the website www.sixtyandme.com because it gives me great ideas of ways to spend my time, places to travel, and helpful information I can use in my daily life.
\nOne thing is for sure…after the initial shock of the death or divorce has passed, once all the friends and family have gone back to their own lives, we are going to be left alone. People are NOT going to beat a path to our doors. We have to step out of our comfort zone and make the effort needed to meet people…or at the very least, just to make ourselves get out of the house and do something. Don’t be afraid to be out in the world unaccompanied.
\n", "date_published": "2014-02-20T02:30:48-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/02/20/the-unaccompanied-womanor-living-single.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Growth","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/02/19/out-and-about.html", "title": "Out and About", "content_html": "![\"dinner](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/32b5954329.jpg\")
“Dinner with Friends”
One of my dear readers told me the other day that she couldn’t go out for dinner by herself. She gets take out and goes home to eat alone. I understand that. It’s hard to be one in a world built for two. It can be intimidating to go out alone. I was married to a busy doctor for a long time so I was used to going out without him. Of course, I had a child with me, but it set a pattern. This served me well as I now have no problem going anywhere alone. My advice to my gentle reader was to take baby steps. Find an area coffee shop and take a good book. Even better, find a book store with a coffee shop in it. There’s bound to be plenty of people around and they will never notice you are unaccompanied. Sit near a window so you can daydream and people watch to keep your mind occupied. Carry enough cash with you to cover the bill and tip in case you can’t take it and have to make a dash for it. Try to do this at least once a week and don’t go to the same shop more than twice in a row. This will start a pattern of seeking new and interesting surroundings. You can go to a movie or a great art gallery alone. People do it all the time. Until you get brave enough to go at night, afternoons are perfect.
\nMy problem is forgetting who I can call to join me when I would like company. I went to a poetry reading the other night. I was sitting at dinner, alone, when I sent a friend a text to see if she was going. She wasn’t going to go but said if I would, she would. I hadn’t seen her in years and she suggested calling her to have dinner next time. I’m going to make a note on my iPhone of the names and numbers of friends I can call when I want company. It’s less intimidating than the contact list.
\nSo, get out there, sunshine! One little baby step at a time, till you’re going on a grand adventure of your own!
\n", "date_published": "2014-02-19T02:30:52-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/02/19/out-and-about.html", "tags": ["Grief","Growth","Grace","Fear","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/02/18/courage.html", "title": "Courage", "content_html": "![\"goldfish](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/89d2bc28cb.jpg\")
“Courage”
Someone responded to one of my posts the other day that I was the bravest person she knew. My first thought was, “Oh, I wonder who she’s talking about?” Then I realized it was ME she was referring to. It gave me a chance to reflect on how far I’ve come in this journey. As the time is slipping ever closer to the Angel-versary date of Mr. Virgo’s death, I am finding myself introspective…more so than usual.
\nCourage. Strength. Grace. These are things that are slippery. Just when you think you have grabbed the bull by the horns, it turns around and throws you to the ground. You have to get back up, dust yourself off and try again. Over and over and over again. When Mr. Virgo’s death was fresh, and I was paralyzed by grief, the act of getting up in the morning was one of great bravery. Going to the funeral was tantamount to facing the armies of a formidable enemy. That was the first block in the foundation I was building for this new life. And the next day, I laid another, then another and so on until I could breathe and function again. Some days, that block was cracked, uneven and broken. I had to chisel it back out and try again the next day. God stood patiently by, holding the bucket of mortar so that I could build this foundation by His strength when my own failed me miserably.
\nI feel God’s grace in my life daily. I feel I am walking the path He had planned for me long before I was an earthly thought. When you are living your life’s purpose, you are in alignment with your higher power. You resonate like a tuning fork. You glow. That’s where I am now in this journey. I am grateful for the strength, courage, grace, bravery…and for you, gentle people, who have held me up when I couldn’t stand on my own.
\nI love you all.
\n", "date_published": "2014-02-18T02:30:49-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/02/18/courage.html", "tags": ["Grief","Gratitude","Grace","Courage"] } ] }