{ "version": "https://jsonfeed.org/version/1", "title": "Marriage on Marshmallow Ranch", "icon": "https://avatars.micro.blog/avatars/2026/36/1962506.jpg", "home_page_url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/", "feed_url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/feed.json", "items": [ { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2025/06/13/they-say-its-my-birthday.html", "title": "They Say it's My Birthday!", "content_html": "\n
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I’m a perfectionist to the point that I sometimes don’t attempt something if I think it’ll be a flop. I don’t like failure or feeling “less than.” It stems from a lifetime of trying to earn my dad’s love and approval. I couldn’t do much right in his eyes, and I felt rejected. Therefore, most of my life was spent trying to gain my father’s acceptance by being a perfectionist and overachiever in relationships. You know the type…the wife who makes excuses like “He’s just overworked.” Or, “He didn’t really mean it.” All while trying to bend myself like a pretzel to become who I thought I needed to be to receive love. 

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I discussed this with a psychiatrist back in the ‘90s. He listened carefully then, sitting back in his chair, he asked, “What does Ginny want?” I was confused by the question because I really had no idea WHO Ginny was, let alone what I wanted. Towards the end of my therapy, he looked at me pensively. 

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“You know…no matter how many relationships you have or how perfect you try to be or how twisted you bend to be what someone else thinks you should be, you’re never going to get your dad’s love.”

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Wow. That stung.

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He was right, of course. Until I learned how to just be myself, to truly accept who I am, and then be that person…I would just continue to go through men like shoes. This was when my second marriage was failing. I’d love to say I took that advice to heart in my next marriage, but I didn’t make much progress on that before I married Mr. Virgo. He was SO handsome and I was still stinging after the divorce, my self-esteem was in the toilet. I wasn’t genuinely present in that marriage either, although it was a far sight better than the first two. I felt like I was making progress with my “daddy issues” when he died unexpectedly just before our sixth wedding anniversary.

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In the years following that loss, I threw myself into a strong period of personal growth. It wasn’t till I decided I was perfectly imperfect just the way I am that I let go of all that garbage I’d been dragging behind me all those years. Was it aging? Probably. Was it the years of therapy? It could be because I had a LOT of it. Was it because I was just so darned tired of trying to juggle the facade that I decided being alone wouldn’t kill me? Oh, most assuredly. However, the single most important difference was finding Jesus and putting Him front and center.

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Then, I ran into Mr. FixIt. My dear friend from high school. We were besties…never sweethearts. He was the guy who listened to all the girls’ boyfriend problems. He’s a good guy. He’s patient to the nth degree. He’s fun and funny and loves me completely. And the feelings are very, very mutual. I don’t have to be perfect. I am sure HE has imperfections; I just choose not to focus on them. He does the same with me. It’s the first time in my life that I haven’t had to fit into someone else’s expectations, and it’s a refreshing way to live.

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There are lessons in imperfection which allow us to break free of the bonds that have held us prisoner…sometimes for decades. I wish I could have had this enlightenment in my 30’s and 40’s but that wasn’t God’s plan. Mr. FixIt and I would not have this kind of relationship if it had happened earlier in our lives. We needed to have some of the hard edges knocked off in order to be the people God wanted us to be. And only then did He lead us toward each other.

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💜

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“Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness?” 2 Corinthians‬ ‭6‬:‭14‬ ‭NLT‬‬

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***Gratitude Journal*** Today, I am grateful Mr. FixIt and I were brought together at the perfect time in our lives. I thank God everyday for him.
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I think this procedure Mr. FixIt had on his back is really going to help. He’s already feeling relief, even though the site where they did the ablation is sore…it’s not the same awful pain! Yay!!! As a matter of fact, he felt so good last night that he asked me out for dinner in town at our favorite Chinese restaurant. On the way home, we drove the long way home out some old country roads. I’m telling you…I am really glad there weren’t any cars coming in the opposite direction because there was no place to pass.

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We drove past Riverbend Farm and Gardens’ high tunnels this evening. We didn’t walk up to the grow houses because I think I make them nervous and they come down to see what’s going on. I hate to bother them because I know they are so busy this time of year. The tomatoes are already thigh high and I think I could see good progress on their green beans. I hope to get set up so I can start buying from them on a more regular basis.

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When we got back on the two-lane, we turned out another country road that meandered through the woods and between spacious farmland. We drove out past a friend’s house and went on till we got to the dead end. You couldn’t hear a thing but nature out there! Mr. FixIt and his family used to ride their bikes out these country roads so he knew his way around. He’d say, “Turn here.” And off we’d go down another rabbit hole. 

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It was a beautiful evening for a drive. We had a strong thunderstorm in the afternoon so the air was clean and fresh. The woods and fields were rich with the scent of pine and honeysuckle. And, the sky was painted blue and gold and peeked through the scattered clouds. We’ve been working so hard the last week, it was nice to just take a day off. Other than homemade sourdough pancakes for breakfast, I didn’t have to cook at all. And the only gardening I did was tie up the tomato plants before the rain hit. 

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Now, that’s a treat!

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🩵🌺🩵

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“But we are looking forward to the new heavens and new earth he has promised, a world filled with God’s righteousness.”  ‭‭2 Peter‬ ‭3‬:‭13‬ ‭NLT‬‬

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***Gratitude Journal***  
Today, I am grateful for the time I have here with  Mr. FixIt and all my family. I’m grateful for a truck that’s reliable enough to carry us through the woods and along the hedgerows of our country lanes.
\n\n", "date_published": "2025-05-17T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2025/05/17/country-roads.html", "tags": ["Fun","Farm Life","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2025/05/15/mr-fixits-got-an-owwwwy.html", "title": "Mr. FixIt’s Got an Owwwwy", "content_html": "\n
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Poor Mr. FixIt. He was a rough and tumble guy all his life and he’s paying the price with back pain. We’ve been jumping through the usual hoops…first, Physical Therapy…then, injections (for the last couple of years)…and now, an ablation. If you don’t know what that is, they find the exact nerves that are sending crazy pain signals and then…well, then they torch them. I know, right? It sure doesn’t sound pleasant to me. But they say it should ease his pain tremendously and last for at least a year. I’m sure hoping so, because he’s been miserable for so long and it affects his ability to do a lot of things he loves.

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I sat in the cubicle while he was back in the procedure room. The ablation takes about three times as long as the injections so I was prepared with some knitting. Everything was fine, then I heard something on the overhead.

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“Stroke alert, Room 16. Stroke alert, Room 16.”

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My heart sank. I felt the all too familiar surge of adrenalin course through my body and thought…”No, no, no! Not again!” I took inventory of what was going on around me. 

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Did the person calling the alert sound like it was an emergency?

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No.

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Did the staff in the Spine Center seem on alert?

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Not at all. It was as though they didn’t even hear it.

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I told myself, if they aren’t worried, I’m not worried. But I’m telling ya…I was sure relieved when I heard Mr. FixIt’s sweet voice as they wheeled him back to me. I whispered a quick, “Thank you, Jesus!” and tears stung my eyes.

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So, we live to see another day.

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He did well. We need to keep ice on for 20 minutes then off for 20 during the first 24 hours. When the numbing wears off, he’s liable to have quite a bit of pain and wonder if he should have done this. But, after the first week, things start to settle down then improve steadily for the first month. I’m hoping this is a good fix for him so he can enjoy life again. He deserves some relief from this incessant pain.

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We stopped on the way home and bought six lavender plants for the pollinator gardens. While Mr. FixIt snoozed the afternoon away, I puttered in the back yard with planting things. I mowed the back yard after supper but it had gotten so thick and deep. Our push mower is a piece of junk, so finally I gave up and brought the riding mower into that confined space. It took a lot of maneuvering but it was SO much quicker…even with the time it took to blow the grass off the sidewalks with the leaf blower.

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By the time I got all that done, I was beat. I’m glad we don’t have much to do in the coming week!

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🩵

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“A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person’s strength.”   ‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭17‬:‭22‬ ‭NLT‬‬ 

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***Gratitude Journal***   
Today, I am grateful for the good doctors that care for us. I am grateful God sent us on this journey together so we could be each other’s helpmates through life. 
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Just a quick update on the tractor. I got is all put back together and wouldn’t you know it…it did the SAME thing it was doing before I started. I looked at even more YouTube videos and I finally fell onto a couple that talked about the brake. If the brake is at all engaged, the mower will not move forward. After seven years of mowing five acres, sometimes twice a week, the spring that brings the brake back up in a disengaged setting was getting a little old. I tried mowing and holding the brake up with my foot and bingo! The mower drove like a champ. So, being the mechanical girl that I am, I said, “Why don’t we just use a bungee cord to hold that pedal all the way up? It would still be stretchy so I can hold the brake in to start the tractor.” Mr. FixIt said he thought that might work, and sure enough…I was mowing in five minutes.

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Then…I smelled something hot and there was a big clank and the mower blades stopped working. The deck belt came off. I drove it back to the building and looked underneath. The belt didn’t just pop off. It was shredded! It turned out, I didn’t tighten one of the belt guides in the right place. Ugh! Fortunately, Mr. FixIt had another deck belt in the building. (Of COURSE he did! lol) I got the belt on and we changed the position of the guide to be sure it didn’t rub on the belt anywhere and I was back in business.

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I mowed the whole five acres and I’m telling you, by the time I was done I was done for. I ended up having a nice Mother’s Day. I spoke to both of my Colorado girls and the WV family, as well. I’m going to knitting group this morning then, if it’s not raining, I’ll go out to the farm to mow. If it’s raining, I need to bake bread…today or tomorrow.

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Hope you had a nice weekend. The weather was perfect and things are so green it hurts you eyes! Oh…the “Black Iris” bloomed just in time for Mother’s Day!!!

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Well, actually…in a certain light…my iPhone makes them look very dark purple.

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🩵

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“Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people.”  ‭‭Colossians‬ ‭3‬:‭23‬ ‭NLT‬‬

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***Gratitude Journal***  
Today, I am grateful to have a patient husband who enjoys teaching me how to do things around our little homestead. He never gets mad at me for making mistakes…even when I ruin a $55 mower deck belt!
\n\n", "date_published": "2025-05-12T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2025/05/12/the-black-iris-is-blooming.html", "tags": ["West Virginia","Farm Life","Marriage","Home"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2025/04/19/another-week-at-the-beach.html", "title": "Another Week at the Beach is Over", "content_html": "\n
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We made it to the pier at 9:00 yesterday morning and didn’t leave until 3:00 in the afternoon. From 9-Noon, there wasn’t a great of wind. The temperature hovered around 73°. We had a grand time, but we didn’t get one single nibble. As a matter of fact, we only saw one person catch a fish the whole time we were there. But, you know what? The worst day at the beach is better than the best day mowing, so we’re happy with that. 

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We finally had to pack it up and head back to the camper. There’s a lot to do before we hit the road so we divvied up the chores. I cleaned and organized the cab of the truck while Mr. FixIt broke down the fishing equipment and started packing up the bed of the truck. Then I went inside to sweep and clean the interior of the camper and pack things away so they don’t go flying around while we are driving. 

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Once that was done, I started supper. This is one of our favorite things to eat and you want to talk about frugal and filling? Wowza…it hits both marks big time. I made my friend Gail’s Deconstructed Cabbage Rolls. The other evening, we had hamburgers. I buy the Beef-Pork Blend at Walmart for $3.63 a pound. I had half a pound leftover and about a third of a pound of pork breakfast sausage. I browned the meats, then tossed in half a head of cabbage cut in one inch chunks. Stir it around to combine and add about half to three quarters of a cup of water and put a lid on the pan. (I use our electric skillet.) Once the cabbage starts to get tender, I added about 1/3 jars of Prego Italian Sausage and Garlic Spaghetti Sauce and season with more garlic powder, onion powder, salt and pepper to taste, and a few shakes of red pepper flakes. Stir to combine, the shrinks some grated cheese over it and cover till the cheese melts and the sauce is hot. OMGosh! It is SO good. Mr. FixIt ate two plates full, I had one, and there is enough left over for a side dish for dinner tonight.

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We headed over to catch the last sunset of the week and hit the hay early so we can get on the road at a reasonable time. We have to get to the same campground that makes you arrive before 7:00 so we don’t want to run the risk of missing that. I’ll check in tomorrow with the news of the first half of the trip home. 

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🚙💨Beep!Beep!

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“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.”   Philippians‬ ‭4‬:‭6‬-‭7‬ ‭NLT‬‬   

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***Gratitude Journal***   
Today I am grateful for God’s peace…even in the face of darkness, His name brings Peace to my heart.
\n\n", "date_published": "2025-04-19T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2025/04/19/another-week-at-the-beach.html", "tags": ["Camping","Peace","Marriage","Joy"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2025/04/12/parking-on-the-freeway.html", "title": "Parking on the Freeway", "content_html": "\n
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I forgot…April is the beginning of Orange Cone Season. Ugh. We lost at least an hour or two in stop and go traffic. (OK…maybe is was twenty minutes. I don’t remember. 🙄) My brain was zoned out. We stopped at the brand new rest area on the West Virginia Turnpike. Hokey smokes…they spent a gazillionty-teen dollars on the new Tamarack Travel Plaza. Located adjacent to the Tamarack Marketplace which broke ground on August 8, 1994.

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Forward-thinking Governor Gaston Caperton had a vision. He wanted something more than the usual bathroom and vending machine rest area. He envisioned a place that would house artisans from around the state. An open area in the center of the building houses designated areas for artists and artisans to seek their wares. Surrounding the shopping are walls and halls for gallery exhibits. (The quilts and art are to die for!)

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As the population of Appalachia ages out, fewer folks were stepping up and learning the skills of our forefathers and mothers. The Tamarack Marketplace offers educational opportunities. The works are juried to “insure [sic] quality and authenticity of WV-made items.” The food service is provided by The Greenbrier Hotel. It’s definitely a must-see place to visit should you be driving the I-77 corridor through our fine state.

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Anyway, back to the new Tamarack Travel Plaza. The official Grand Opening was December 30th with the Governor and other officials present to usher in the $60M state-of-the-art facility. The building houses the only Popeye’s Chicken in Southern WV. Starbuck’s and Wendy’s are also housed in the building. There is a convenience store area on one end and at the other end, a small Tamarack Marketplace shop offers just a few of the beautiful items from the larger venue nearby. It has the usual fare of travel plazas…fuel and restrooms. FANCY restrooms. While the minimalist design didn’t appeal to me, the sinks were over the top. I’ve never seen anything like them. The faucet is a modern “wash bar” design. On the left end is the hand soap dispenser, in the middle the the water faucet, and to the right is the blower-style hand dryer. All motion-sensor, and resting over an angled sink with a slit for a drain at the back. I wanted to stay in there a play till my hands got pruny, but Mr. FixIt was waiting for me so I finished up and went out to meet him. (Pictures: Before and After, credit to sources on the internet.)

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We drove through a lot of rain on the way and Fancy Gap didn’t disappoint with its pea soup fog. We only saw the evidence on one accident…a semi on its side in the median near Wytheville. It didn’t look like anyone was injured. I was so happy to pull into the campground last night. Oak Hollow Family Campground is beautiful and right off the interstate without sounding like a war zone. It was a fun drive. The further south we went, the more beautiful it became. The flowering trees are majestic. Our dogwood trees got bit by the hard freezes of the last couple of weeks, but they escaped that fate farther south. They look all the world like dotted Swiss fabric lying here and there against a black and new spring green backdrop. The azaleas are in bloom as are the magnolias and camellias. Stunning!

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We arrived in plenty of time to have a light meal and stretch out on our comfy memory foam mattresses for a well deserved rest. Too late for a nap, but restful just as well. Today we’ll enjoy a nice breakfast and head to the Outer Banks. Tonight we’ll go to sleep to the sound of the ocean waves! 

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We don’t have to be in quite the hurry today as we were yesterday. If you aren’t checked in at the campground by 7:00pm at Oak Hollow, they lock the gates and you flat out do not get in. That kinda puts a fire under you. But it’s a totally different deal at the beach. That means we don’t have to be on the road quite so early. Which is fine by me!

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🚙💨

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“In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, O Lord, will keep me safe.”   ‭‭Psalms‬ ‭4‬:‭8‬ ‭NLT‬‬

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***Gratitude Journal***  Today I am grateful for safe travels…and that I didn’t scare Mr. FixIt more than once. Maybe twice. 😘
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I was sure I would bake yesterday, but one thing or another got in the way. Namely, it was 78° outside! That’s just too tempting! Mr. FixIt and I walked around the perimeter of the property to see what’s peeking up from their long winter’s sleep. The pear tree buds are starting to pop open. Little Johnny Jump-ups are showing their pretty purple dresses. There’s some sort of lily popping up behind the spot where the burgundy peonies grow. I don’t remember seeing them before. I may dig them up and move them to another spot where they won’t be overshadowed by the bigger plants.

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One of my favorite sights in the spring is the Flowering Quince. I’ve known them forever because they grew along the creek bank at The Farm. Delicate dark pink flowers with rounded, cupped petals are some of the first blooms to grace our area. They last a long time and carry us well into the spring season.

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When we got to the back of the near field, Mr. FixIt showed me where he found some fur scattered about and a strange bone sticking out of the ground. The two were not related. The bone had been there for quite some time. And, I came through there a week or so ago and the fur wasn’t there. We have a lot of hawks that nest nearby. We also have lots of bunnies. As for the bone, it looked like it came from a large bird. Remember last fall when I picked up all those turkey feathers out there? I think the bone might be from that kill. We have coyotes around here, too. So, I assume that’s what happened here.

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It was a wonderful day. We’re supposed to have rain today. It’ll be a better day for baking because I won’t be so tempted to go out and play. 

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Have a blessed day, my friends.

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🩵

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“Ask rain from the Lord in the season of the spring rain, from the Lord who makes the storm clouds, and he will give them showers of rain, to everyone the vegetation in the field.”   ‭‭Zechariah‬ ‭10‬:‭1‬ ‭ESV‬‬

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***Gratitude Journal***   Today I am grateful for the spring that beckons us with brilliant green, pink, yellow, and purple. For the spring rains that soak the ground. The warm sunshine that beckons us into its warmth. It makes me feel more alive after the sleep of winter.

\n\n", "date_published": "2025-03-30T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2025/03/30/walking-with-mr-fixit.html", "tags": ["Peaceful Moments","Farm Life","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2025/03/29/finding-calm-during-chaos.html", "title": "Finding Calm During Chaos", "content_html": "\n
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”After the Storm” - Photo by Ginny McKinney©️2015

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I am walking a fine line between staying informed and staying sane. I think a lot of us are. There is SO much chaos in the world today, it’s so easy to get overwhelmed. I mean…there’s a breaking point for everyone. Case in point. We went to town yesterday to meet family for breakfast, then run a few errands. It was raining cats and dogs. There was a lot of getting in and out of the truck with one small umbrella between us. We were testy with each other…I couldn’t drive to suit him, and he was standing on my last nerve. It was the only time we have ever raised our voices to each other. I know it was mutual frustration, but you know those days where each little thing stacks one upon another till the dam breaks? Well, that was our Friday.

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It’s hard to walk away from each other to cool off when you’re running errands. So, I suggested he go look for something on the other side of the store. I spent a few moments alone, and when we joined up to pick out a new coffee to try, he wrapped his arms around me and kissed me in front of God and everybody. We were mending fences in Walmart.

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It’s what you do in a healthy marriage. Gone are the days of using the silent treatment to get back at one another. No more hissy fits or stamping of feet or long, drawn-out arguments. With silver hair comes frankness, courage, compassion, leniency…forgiveness. Early and often. There’s enough chaos in the world. We sure don’t want it in our home, too.

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The other day, I was chatting with Hubby #2 when he asked me if I remembered our friend Larry. He was the husband of a fellow medical student who was diagnosed with ALL..Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia. When told there was nothing that could be done, Larry smiled and said, “Good. I get to see Jesus.” Neither one of us got it at the time. But we do now. The promise of Heaven and walking with Jesus has turned us away from the focus of fear.

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I can’t help but wonder what life would be like going through trying times like these alone. I know there are so many of you who face all this without your person. I hope you are gentle with yourself and practice self-care. Being at this stage of life is sobering, and I pray for the bereaved among us.

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🙏🏼

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“But avoid irreverent babble, for it will lead people into more and more ungodliness,”
‭‭2 Timothy‬ ‭2‬:‭16‬ ‭ESV‬‬

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Gratitude Journal 
Today I am grateful that I’m in my 70’s and not my 20’s or 30’s. God brings us through the hard knocks of life because he knows a diamond is created when it’s put under heat and pressure. He knows we are more precious than all the diamonds in the world. YOU are more precious than any diamond. Believe that.
\n\n", "date_published": "2025-03-29T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2025/03/29/finding-calm-during-chaos.html", "tags": ["Wisdom","Forgiveness","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2025/03/07/meanwhile-back-at-the-ranch.html", "title": "Meanwhile Back at the Ranch", "content_html": "\n
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I have no idea what I did, but sometime in late morning yesterday, my back seized up and about sent me to my knees. I took some muscle relaxers and leaned on a heating pad the rest of the day. This getting old thing is for the birds! I’ll probably spend the day flat on my back with a pillow under my knees and give it time to let loose. 

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We didn’t have anywhere to go yesterday and we can stay home today, too. I’m telling you…I’ve become a bit of a hermit. I just don’t like crowds anymore. I don’t want to get sick. I don’t want to spend money. And Mr. FixIt and I have a hoot together. I usually go to my writing place at around 9:00 or 9:30 of an evening. I was texting with a friend when Mr. FixIt and I had a little conversation.

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Mr. FixIt: You going to go write?

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Me: What?

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Mr. Fixit: What?

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Me: Where on earth am I going to go at this time of night?

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Mr. FixIt: Huh?

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Me:

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Mr. FixIt:

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Me: Wait a minute…you asked me if I was going to go write! I thought you said “You going to go, right?”

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We both burst out laughing. Then he said the sweetest thing.

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“Boy, being married is a lot of fun, isn’t it?”

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It sure is, babe….it sure is.

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💜

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“For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her” ‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭5‬:‭25‬ ‭NLT‬‬

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***Gratitude Journal***   
Today I am grateful for the joy my husband and I can make together. It eases our burden and makes life feel lighter. I do not take this for granted. I remember clearly the pain I felt when I lost Mr. Virgo. I think that’s what makes this relationship so special. 
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(Image created using Meta AI)

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When either one of us go to town, we can just about bet one or the other of us will stop at Sam’s. We have a large pantry and I keep it well stocked. There were times both of our families experienced food uncertainty, so I am a food hoarder. I always have been. In the past, I automatically bought two of everything when I shopped for food. Fortunately, Mr. FixIt has helped me become more frugal in our years together so I don’t feel that compulsion to over buy. Still, we have enough food to carry us through at least a few months.

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Mr. FixIt had an appointment in town last Wednesday, so he called me from Sam’s to see what we needed. We were getting low on eggs and they are…well, scarce as hen’s teeth. Sam’s carries those crates of eggs with 7.5 dozen eggs. It came it to $4.10 a dozen so I told him to go ahead and get them. Then I had to make some room for them in my fridge. 

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We eat a lot of eggs. Now that I am making these Sourdough English Muffins, I fix us a breakfast sandwich that put the fast food joints to shame. It tastes a lot better and I know what’s in it. We eat grits a couple of times a week with a couple of over-easy eggs on top. If we have pancakes, Mr. FixIt likes a couple of eggs on top of his. Of course I need eggs when I make French Toast. I think I’ll bake a quiche today for our supper.

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Mr. FixIt’s league is bowling at 1:00 today so everyone can be at home for the Super Bowl. I’m always excited when the Eagles make it there. Mr. Virgo loved the Eagles since he was from South Philly. Every year we were together and they would tank, he’d say, “They just break my heart…every single year.” They never won the Super Bowl till 2018…five years after Mr. Virgo died. Oh, he would have been SO excited! That’s why we have to cheer them on in his memory!

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I hope you find peace and joy in your day. We all need that right about now.

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💜

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“The plans of the diligent lead surely to abundance, but everyone who is hasty comes only to poverty.” ‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭21‬:‭5‬ ‭ESV‬‬

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***Gratitude Journal*** 
Today I am grateful to have a pantry full of ingredients to make nutritious food for my family. I am grateful for a well stocked kitchen with the tools I need to produce good meals. I am grateful to have an appreciative spouse who loves my cooking. 
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#eggs, #cooking, #SuperBowl, #PhiladelphiaEagles

\n\n", "date_published": "2025-02-09T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2025/02/09/he-went-tokroger.html", "tags": ["Marriage","Cooking","In the Kitchen"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2025/02/05/the-house-on-storm-king.html", "title": "The House on Storm King", "content_html": "\n
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I posted a picture on here the other day of the first big snow after Mr. Virgo died. It made me think of my sweet little farmhouse up one the op of the hill. I had the best view in the neighborhood. When I first had it built, I furnished it to look like an English country cottage. Since it was just Daughter #2 and me living there, we were very comfortable with the shabby chic, girly look. But once Mr. Virgo came into the picture, that only lasted about six months before he asked if I had given any consideration to redecorating. 

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I took the hint and we set to turning the house into something more sophisticated. Something a man like Mr. Virgo would like. He had more expensive taste than I did and I had never lived in such a nicely appointed house before. Even when I lived in the big house with Hubby #2, our home was still pretty much “Early American Garage Sale.” 

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You know…life is what happens when you’re making other plans. I ended up getting rid of almost all of my beautiful furniture when I sold the house and moved to West Virginia. There are many pieces I wish I still had…like this console. It was painted brick red with delicate designs on it. I miss that incredibly comfortable couch. It was down filled and gorgeous. My elderly aunt gave me her second husband’s roll top desk. There was an alcove in the living room when I kept the desk so I could look at it. Eventually, we bought a long cabinet for the electronics and put the TV on the top. I had a darling round table in the breakfast nook. The bedroom furniture was more Mr. Virgo’s taste than my own. It was dark and heavy with carved pine cones. But still, it was beautiful. 

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When I moved into Mr. FixIt’s house, the furnishings were much more my taste. It’s more like what I had pre Mr. Virgo…comfortable, homey, and lived in. Really, the only new things that I brought in were my grandma’s jelly cupboard, a desk that I bought, the entertainment center that I use in the office to house my appliances, and the two Big Red Chairs we bought with one of the stimulus checks. I don’t need fancy things anymore. I just need comfy and serviceable. 

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And Mr. FixIt. HE is my home. By the way…he wants me to tell you all thank you for the many heartfelt birthday greetings. I have asked him not to comment on my blog himself since I keep his picture under wraps. I give so much of myself in my writing…he’s all MINE! He went down to the creek today to make sure the ditch was clear. We’re supposed to start getting a lot of rain this week. 

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I also want to thank you all for the kind words and prayers when I got hurt last week. They really helped and I’m feeling much more like myself. I’m not getting headaches now. You all are awesome!

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💜

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“My people will abide in a peaceful habitation, in secure dwellings, and in quiet resting places.” Isaiah‬ ‭32‬:‭18‬ ‭ESV‬‬

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***Gratitude Journal***
Today I am grateful for the skills I’ve learned to keep us fed, clothed, housed, and safe. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
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#Faith, #Home, #Marriage

\n\n", "date_published": "2025-02-05T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2025/02/05/the-house-on-storm-king.html", "tags": ["Faith","Marriage","Home"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2025/02/01/fire-and-rain.html", "title": "Fire and Rain", "content_html": "\n
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First, let me tell you, I’m doing fine. I’m resting and trying to cut down my screen time to manage the low grade headache that comes with a mild concussion. I’ll be back to normal…whatever that is…in a jiffy. lol

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It rained all night Thursday night till mid-afternoon yesterday. The temperature was in the low 50’s which was wonderful! Almost all the snow has melted away and the creeks are roaring once again. We’ll have more cold weather, of course. But, I think the worst is past us now. At least, I hope it is.

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When I woke up at 5:00 yesterday morning, the fog was so thick I couldn’t even see the trees beyond the near field. There were a few moments when the wind blew the fog away leaving a mild haze only to wrap its silky webs across the landscape once again. It was dreamy and cozy and I loved looking out the window at it.

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I didn’t cook beyond making sourdough French toast for breakfast and a ham sandwich for supper on the same bread. I love this new recipe and unless I want to make a boule with all the air bubbles sourdough is known for. I did a cold ferment with the dough and it had that wonderful tang of really good sourdough. And, Mr. FixIt was happy as a clam with it. We’ve used up all the Sourdough English Muffins so I’m going to have to bake some more this weekend. They make the best copycat Egg McMuffin!

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Today is Mr. FixIt’s birthday! I always make him a special supper for his big day. Usually it is scallops, but a 1.5 pound bag of frozen sea scallops was nearly $30 so he elected to have shrimp. He likes his shrimp just sautéed in butter and garlic. I prefer Southern Shrimp and Grits. He likes those too, but since it’s his birthday, I will use half the bag for his favorite recipe and save the rest for my favorite sometime down the road. Marriage is all about compromise, right?

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I won’t make him a cake today. I’ll save that for the birthday party on Wednesday at the bowling alley so we can share it with the kids. Do you prefer pie or cake? What is your favorite? Do you have a special treat for your birthday? I’m partial to a rich chocolate cake with chocolate frosting, myself.

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💙💜🩵

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“For by me your days will be multiplied, and years will be added to your life.”   ‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭9‬:‭11‬ ‭ESV‬‬

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***Gratitude Journal***
Today I am grateful for Mr. FixIt’s company on this ride through our Golden Years. He is so much fun and good company. He has the patience of Job and is gentle as a lamb with me, yet he is the first to stand up for me when I need it. Happy Birthday, sweetheart!
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#MrFixIt, #Birthday, #Foggy

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FINALLY…February!!!

\n\n", "date_published": "2025-02-01T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2025/02/01/fire-and-rain.html", "tags": ["Peaceful Moments","Farm Life","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2024/05/26/the-equality-of-marriage.html", "title": "The Equality of Marriage", "content_html": "\n
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Meme Credit: Internet

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Last night one of my knitting friends sent me this meme and asked if we could relate. OMGosh! Yes! I love this man with the white-hot heat of the sun. I don’t have a problem going into Rural King and drooling over the power tools for an hour. But ask him which he likes better…the Carolina Sunset fingering weight or the Chunky Monkey wool blend and his eyes glaze over. Sweat starts to bead up and he may suddenly need some fresh air. You’d think I’d asked him to drop trou for a prostate exam in front of everybody.

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Men are just different animals entirely. My husband is one of the most patient men I’ve ever known. And if I asked him to go in the yarn shop with me, he probably would. But for the same reason he doesn’t ask me to the bowling alley anymore, I don’t insist he accompany me on one of my junkets into the world of all things yarn. We both know which one leads to a happy ending.

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We have an ongoing “battle”…if you want to call it that…over the pool. I think it’s a time and money suck that’s never ending. I’d like to take the pool out and put in a lovely outdoor living area with the grill at one end and a fire pit at the other. Perhaps a pergola or a covered area where we could sit in the cool of the evening and enjoy our yard. Instead, we have an elevated deck whose boards are slowly decaying one, three, ten at a time. And the pool looks like it’s a leftover movie prop from The Creature of The Black Lagoon. 

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But here’s where my love for him comes in. After questioning his sanity for ten minutes as to WHY he wants to keep pouring money and time into something that we get in four times over the summer and that’s just to clean it…I smile and take him to the store to get the required chemicals and parts and sand, etc. etc. etc. Why? Because, he likes the pool more than he likes the idea of changing it. And that’s ok. It’s not going to break the bank. After all, I DO buy yarn and books on occasion and I could certainly do without those, too. We are of an age where we balance our needs and wants based on joy and good stewardship. 

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We got the cover up on the pergola. I vacuumed the bottom of the pool to get up some of the leaves. We bought new chair cushions, but we need to power wash the chairs before we set them out. We need to change out a few boards that are rotten and then power wash the deck and water seal it. It makes no sense to me, but neither does five tubs of yarn and fabric down in the basement make sense to him. It’s give and take in any good marriage and I’m grateful for the opportunity to have this beautiful life…even when we make each other just a little bit crazy!

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I hope you all are having a great weekend!

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🩵

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“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

\n1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NIV\n
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Our Pretty Pink Peonies

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My grandma used to say, “You have to sing for your supper.” She didn’t mean I had to literally sing for her in order to get something to eat. What she meant was, nothing comes for free…you have to work for it. My sweet husband is very tolerant of my escapades, from gallivanting around the country alone with the camper to ripping out the bedroom and building twin beds five days before a trip in said camper. He rarely ever asks me to do something. He doesn’t have to. I know what needs to be done and I know when it’s my turn to do it. 

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Peonies

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Mr. FixIt’s buddy was in town yesterday and needed a little help with something so after breakfast, I kissed him goodbye and told him to have fun. Now, when we mow, I do the big area on the tractor and he uses the push mower in the fenced area around the pool. One may think that isn’t equitable, but my sweetheart suffers from a bad back and it’s all he can do to mow that piece of ground. His back was really bothering him when we mowed early this week and he couldn’t finish the back corner.

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Kitty Beans

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He would never, ever ask me to do that on top of what I’d already done. But, I know when it’s time to pick up the slack. I’m leaving next week to camp with my bestie Gail and leaving him here on his own. As soon as he left yesterday, I went out and mowed the rest of the lawn. As I was surveying my handy work, I realized the peonies needed to be tied up because rain was coming. If the blossoms hit the ground, they’re gone in a heartbeat. I went in the house for kitchen twine and the scissors and tied them. Then I figured since I was at it, I’d best go out front and tie those peonies up as well. They are about a week behind the back ones, but they’ll need tying soon so I might as well do it while I have the tools and the time.

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Before

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Once that was finished, I got the loppers out and started cutting back the vegetation that grows on the back fence. There is about a six foot space between the fence and the wall of the pole building. Sumac grows there like crazy along with slippery elm saplings, the occasional maple tree, and a boatload of wild grape and honeysuckle vines that weave it all together into and unruly mat of madness. Every couple of years, we have to really get in there and cut it all out. I am committed to spraying the whole area with a solution of white vinegar, salt, and Dawn dish soap to kill it all back in the spring so we don’t have to keep doing this.

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After

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I started losing steam along about 5:00. I knew it was going to rain at around 6:00 and I wanted to get all those branches and vines hauled out to the burn pile before Mr. FixIt got home. It isn’t completely finished because I didn’t get the rake out for the little bits, but it’s done enough for now. As soon as I walked in the door, the rain started pouring. Good timing! A welcome shower and time in front of the fan to cool down was the perfect end to a good day’s work.

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🌸☀️🌸

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“Those who work their land will have abundant food, but those who chase fantasies have no sense.”

\nProverbs 12:11 NIV\n
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Leaning on a lamp post at Corolla Lighthouse on Friday.

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The kids took off for home yesterday morning. We went out for breakfast then Mr. FixIt and I packed up the camper and moved a few miles down the road to our favorite place. (I’ll tell you where when we leave next weekend.) We got by with the bare necessities at the other campground because we didn’t want to haul everything out for just two nights then have to do it all over again. Now we have our outdoor kitchen out with all the frou-frou stuff set up. 

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It was still pretty cool, cloudy, and a little windy yesterday but the weather is supposed to start warming up today. While I fixed supper, Mr. FixIt got our fishing gear ready so we can go out and try our luck. Even if you don’t catch a thing, you’re out there having fun and enjoying the views and each other’s company. We both enjoy camping so much…especially at the beach. We both remarked how the weight of the world leaves your shoulders when you get to the beach.

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I brought a couple of salmon filets with us and fixed those with the last of Loraine’s fresh asparagus. I also microwaved those little baby potatoes, so we enjoyed quite the feast for our first night here in the dunes. We have several camping trips this summer,  so we would rather spend our money on food to cook rather than going out to restaurants if we are in a place where the kitchen can be set up. 

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As I sat here writing, Mr. FixIt reminded me to make the reservations for our fall beach camping trip. We also want to go over to the Eastern Panhandle and visit my Uncle Bud and cousins a couple weeks after we get back from this trip. We haven’t seen them since last spring. It’s a shame to be in the same state and not get over there to see them, so we’re going to rectify that.

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One of the things we love about camping on the Outer Banks is the close proximity to sunsets over the sound and sunrises over the ocean. Mr. FixIt’s favorite thing to do at the beach, other than fishing, is to see God’s handiwork at the start and the end of each day. Sometimes the weather doesn’t cooperate. And sometimes it’s pretty darned chilly, but I brought plenty of warm clothes with us this year so I’m well prepared to accompany him on his daily jaunts.

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I’m just so happy to be here with my sweetheart. It wasn’t all that long ago that I was newly widowed and couldn’t believe there would ever be joy in my life again. Whenever Mr. FixIt steps on my last nerve, I remind myself how different my life could be if he hadn’t found me. We both consider this the greatest gift and that is worthy of showing appreciation…frequently!

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☀️

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”May the Lord repay you for what you have done. May you be richly rewarded by the Lord, the God of Israel, under whose wings you have come to take refuge.”“

\nRuth 2:12 NIV\n
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When you open a fine bottle of wine, you need to give it time to breathe in order to truly experience its intricacies. An older bottle especially needs to breathe because exposing the wine to air allows unfavorable compounds like sulfites and ethanol to evaporate. It also allows the wine to develop more favorable tastes and bloom…to develop its “nose” so more of your senses are involved when you sip it. It just makes the whole experience more delightful.

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Marriage is a lot like a fine bottle of wine. If it’s precious…and rare…you treasure it. You want it to last. So, like a rare wine, you have to age it well. You keep it at the perfect temperature so as to let it mellow and become more complex. You tend to it by keeping it safe from the dangers of outside forces. Then, when a special occasion comes around and you want to celebrate, you open it up.

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But if you just pour it out and drink it down, you’re going to be terribly disappointed. It’ll be bitter and acrid. You might even be tempted to just dump the whole thing down the drain. If you do, you could miss out on the most amazing experience of your life. You could miss all those beautiful and complex floral notes, or the rich and robust oaky flavors that can only come from something you’ve guarded and protected and treated right over the years.

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We woke up yesterday to a sunny, gorgeous Valentine’s Day. I made the perfect breakfast…popcorn pancakes, bacon, and eggs. I did the dishes. We filled the bird feeders. I worked on the blanket I’ve been trying to make. It’s REALLY a tricky pattern but I am determined to keep trying. We sat down to watch another episode or two of Bull, and I got a notification on my phone.

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“Send your Valentine a custom greeting with photos and music.”

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I connected, typed in my sentiment, and selected as many pictures of the two of us as I could find, and sent it via text to Mr. FixIt sitting in his Big Red Chair across the room from me.

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His phone dinged and he picked it up. I could see the curiosity on his face then the music started and our life together unfolded in front of his eyes. He softened…kinda melted, really. And the look he gave me was all the Valentines in the world wrapped in a big red bow.

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When you take good care of something old and precious, it rewards you a hundredfold. I’m so glad I have taken such good care of this particular vintage. It is divine…because we let it breathe.

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🩵

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”The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”“

\nGenesis 2:18 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2024-02-15T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2024/02/15/let-your-marriage-breathe.html", "tags": ["Holiday","Aging","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2024/02/07/the-recipe-box.html", "title": "The Recipe Box", "content_html": "\n
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When I was a young bride, I bought a green plastic box that held 3x5 cards. I diligently collected recipes from family and friends. I clipped recipes from magazines and glued them to cards from time to time. Recipe cards often arrived in the mail, or attached to newspaper inserts or products in the supermarket. Along the way, I learned from repetition what recipes worked and what didn’t. When I became more adept at cooking, I rarely looked at a recipe. Nowadays, we have this magic little device we keep in our pockets that will give you ANY recipe for ANY dish ever made. I don’t have any idea where that little box ended up. But, I love the memories I conjure up as a newlywed learning her way.

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Mr. FixIt had a procedure yesterday which has him enjoying his Big Red Chair a bit more than usual. There were a couple of errands we needed to attend to before we headed home. I’m always thinking fifteen steps ahead so I decided to make tuna noodle casserole for supper. That’s because I sat in the waiting room working on a teddy bear I knitted and thought of that little green box and tried to remember what my favorite inexpensive go-to casserole was.

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I think my first cooking class was a summer camp at the Vienna Community Building. I specifically remember making Green Bean Casserole…something I have NEVER liked. Tuna Noodle isn’t a very big stretch from there. I made it in many iterations, including one with turkey after the holidays. We affectionately called it “Turkey Tetrawhatzit.” As I picked up a few things at the grocery, I threw a bag of frozen peas in the cart and headed back out to the truck.

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When we got home, I got Mr. FixIt settled in his chair and started supper. I was absolutely certain I had tuna in the pantry but I did not. I did have salmon, and if I could make Tuna Casserole with turkey, I could make it with salmon in a can. Add in the noodles, a can of evaporated milk and a cup of chicken broth, a cup of frozen peas, a can of salmon (drained), a little onion and garlic, salt and pepper. Mixed together and placed in a greased 8x10 casserole dish, topped with buttered breadcrumbs and grated cheese. Baked for 30 minutes in a 350° oven and…voila…

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Salmon Tetrawhatzit!!!

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SO good! Comfort food that brings up warm memories is a perfect way to end a day of loving on your hubby. And, the fact that there are leftovers for today?

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Priceless!

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🩵

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”Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.“

\nPhilippians 2:3-4 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2024-02-07T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2024/02/07/the-recipe-box.html", "tags": ["Memories","Marriage","Cooking"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2024/02/02/a-very-happy-birthday.html", "title": "A Very Happy Birthday!", "content_html": "\n
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It was a gorgeous day…55° and bright sunshine. We got up and around, fixed our morning beverages, and sat on FaceTime with our besties…Ben and Sue…out in Colorado. It was almost as good as sitting at their kitchen table. We really miss them. 

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Mr. FixIt had an appointment in town in the afternoon so I had a few hours in the Big Red Chair. I finished the trim on the baby blanket and put a doll together and started another one. When Mr. FixIt came home, I fixed him a beautiful dinner. Lamb Chops with a Bourbon Maple and Black Balsamic Glaze, Steamed Broccoli, and Roasted Baby Gold Potatoes. Oh, my word….I know we aren’t supposed to brag, but my lamb chops are as good as any you could get in a 5-Star Restaurant. 

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I learned from the best. Mr. Virgo was quite the foodie and he taught me how to cook many of my favorite dishes…one of which is lamb chops. Mr. FixIt had a wonderful birthday, and I’m taking the evening off to binge watch “Bull.” And today, I’m heading out to The Farm for a couple of nights. 

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I’ll be back tomorrow morning!!!

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🩵

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”Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct.“

\n1 Peter 3:1-2 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2024-02-02T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2024/02/02/a-very-happy-birthday.html", "tags": ["The Farm","Love","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2023/11/12/chasing-rabbits.html", "title": "Chasing Rabbits", "content_html": "\n
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Show of hands…how many of you have set out to do one particular job. You get going gangbusters and you’re making some headway. Then you stop to make a cup of tea and something catches your eye up on that tippy top shelf. You know the one. It’s where old mugs and water bottles and stuff your husband refuses to part with go to die. You think, “I’d better get the step ladder and look at this a little closer. It looks like wood shavings in a spider web or something.”

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You go get the step ladder, set it up steady as can be, and get up there all close and personal-like and there….before your very eyes…is the dreadful evidence of MICE! UGH!!!! Any thoughts of going back to the project you were so enthusiastically pursuing vanishes and off you go chasing rabbits… errrr, mice… through your kitchen cabinets. Everything has to come out. Your beloved husband goes to get the vacuum cleaner for you and you start sucking the crap out of every nook and cranny you can reach.

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Next, you crank up the hot water to surface-of-the-sun hot and find whatever potion you have that will kill every living thing within a mile and start scrubbing. Now, here I must interject two things. First, I’ve lived here for seven years and had no idea there was a hole in the top of that cabinet that goes up into the attic and we live in the country so of COURSE there are critters up there. And second, I made the HUGE mistake of announcing to Mr. FixIt that I was going to have to take everything out and there’s too much stuff up there anyway and I’m just going to go through it and get rid of the stuff we haven’t touched since I moved in here, what is it? Oh, yeah… seven years ago this month, totally forgetting WHY we have all that stuff up there in the first place. I no sooner had uttered the words when I realized I’d played my hand WAY too soon, because… 

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“Well, you’d better let me see what you’re thinking of throwing away first.”

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Crap. The death knell to my plans.

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SO many words started bubbling up from that place that stores all the frustration sentences but I bit my tongue. I didn’t actually SAY, “Yes, dear.” But it was implied as I got to work. I decided to do this in phases because you don’t change horses in the middle of the stream here. I got an old towel and laid it out on the island. After I washed a load, it went out on the towel to dry. I made a good dent and asked my hubs if he’d like to go out to dinner. I didn’t have the stomach to actually COOK in there until everything has been sterilized within an inch of its life.

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“Sure,” he said, brightly. “I have to pick up something at Walmart anyway. We might as well make an evening of it!”

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As we got back from town, I said, “You know, sweetheart. If you pick out what you absolutely cannot part with, I can put the rest in the donation box. THEN, you can pick out FOUR mugs that you actually use. The ones you don’t use but want to keep can be put in a box and stored.” The part my mature brain didn’t say was, “so the kids can throw it out after we’re gone.” However, that is not the hill I wanted to die on so I just let it go. I DID open a cabinet and reminded him we have TWO complete sets of stoneware that we use when we feed the family and there are sixteen mugs that go with them. I think he got my point.

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One of the things I’ve been studying in Noom is how to replace a negative experience with a positive one. It doesn’t just apply to our relationship with food. The Bible tells us that Death and Life are in the power of the tongue. I’m sure we’ve all been guilty of venting our frustrations with our spouse to our closest friends from time to time. There’s a time and place for that, in moderation. You need to watch it, though. Because it can get out of hand quickly and it can destroy a marriage. When I make the choice to see my husband as a fallible human just as I am, I am much more likely to treat him with kindness, compassion, and respect rather than with harsh words and criticism. 

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I’ve seen the change that comes with replacing a negative experience with a positive one in my marriage. I smile and shake my head at myself sometimes. I’m seventy years old. Why couldn’t I have been this wise when I was just starting my adult life? Ahhhh, the woulda, coulda, shoulda’s don’t do any good. As Maya Angelou said we do what we know and when we know better, we do better. Or, at least we SHOULD.

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Now, how many hands are up in the room? Yeah, I thought so. We aren’t alone in this, are we? And, isn’t it nice to know that?

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🩵

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“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”

\nEphesians 4:32 ESV\n
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No ads today. Enjoy your Blessed Day!

\n\n", "date_published": "2023-11-12T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2023/11/12/chasing-rabbits.html", "tags": ["Wisdom","Forgiveness","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2023/10/30/good-men-honor-their-wives.html", "title": "Good Men Honor Their Wives", "content_html": "\n
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Hiking the dunes on the Outer Banks with Mr. FixIt.

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Mr. FixIt continues to improve. He has a good appetite again. I was working on the computer in the afternoon and he called me to see if I would go to the store and get him some hotdogs and baked beans. He’s eating a lot of fruit and, of course, his Pineapple Upside Down Cake. It’s good to see that smile and his sunny disposition coming back. It’s hard not to give him a hug and a kiss, but I really don’t want to get sick and he would feel terrible if he gave me Covid. So we give a lot of “air kisses” as we pass each other.

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I spoke with my Uncle Bud the other night about the problems Mr. FixIt has been having with the furnace. He suggested we open it up and vacuum out every little crevice and tube we could reach and see if that would help. We did that yesterday. I asked Mr. FixIt to please wear a mask. He doesn’t need all that dust down in his lungs right now and he politely complied. When we turned the furnace back on, it lit up just like it was supposed to. We turned it off and on several times and it worked just right. It still gives off a peculiar odor outside so we still need to have someone come out and investigate that, but the furnace itself seems to be functioning normally now. Three cheers for my man!!!

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It rained here most of the day. Cold, low hanging clouds scudded across the sky. Wet leaves plastered themselves to every available surface. Telltale evidence of small critters getting into the walnuts was apparent near the back gate. I really don’t think it was anything big because I would have heard it out the bedroom window during the night. And there’s been nothing big enough to trip the security cameras to record.

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I fiddled on the computer all day, playing with some designs. It was all prep work so there’s nothing to show for it yet. Maybe tomorrow. I’ve desperately needed this rest. My body has craved down time. My mind is enjoying the gentle rhythms of these slow, rainy days. I do need to start attacking the family room and get that camping gear stowed away. I gave serious thought to sleeping in the camper last night because the low was only supposed to be 53°. But, I just didn’t have it in me to fight with the Asian Lady Beetles and Stink Bugs. I have to go out to the farm in the next couple of days to check the furnace and stoves. Maybe I’ll be able to sneak in an overnight for a little farm fix if Mr. FixIt is feeling up to it. 

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When I got off the phone with my uncle, I was thinking how he’s so much like my PopPop…kind, easy going, slow to anger…quick to love. Quick to love and honor their wives. I smiled when I realized…I married a man just like them. My uncle is handy, resourceful, and can fix anything…just like Mr. FixIt. He cared for my aunt and his sister to the very end. It makes me happy, and proud, to have a husband like the two men I looked up to the most in my formative years. My world feels settled and peaceful these days…something I’ve longed for all my life.

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🍁

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“Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.”

\n1 Peter 3:7 ESV\n
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We are heading into the Season of Thanksgiving. It is more than a day in which to overindulge in goodies or yell at the refs on TV or watch a parade. It’s a time to consider the blessings we have in our everyday lives. The unsettling circumstances of the world should be an impetus to give us pause…to reflect, to praise, and to feel gratitude for all we have.

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\n\n", "date_published": "2023-10-30T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2023/10/30/good-men-honor-their-wives.html", "tags": ["Faith","Health","Comfort","Choices","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2023/10/27/thank-you-for-the-prayers.html", "title": "Thank you for the Prayers!", "content_html": "\n
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They worked! Mr. FixIt felt MUCH better yesterday. He still didn’t eat a lot, but I got plenty of fluids in him and he had a big bowl of homemade Jewish penicillin (chicken soup) last night with a piece of cornbread hot out of the oven. He’s far from well, but he’s SO much better! I’m telling you, he scared me to death Wednesday night. He could hardly walk and I had to half carry him to the bedroom. He only kept the anti-viral down an hour, but I think enough got in him, along with the prayers, to help him turn the corner, so I am in your debt.

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My test looked ever so slightly positive to me on Wednesday, but yesterday’s was absolutely negative. I still feel achy, but maybe it’s sympathy pains for my sweetheart. We didn’t do much of anything yesterday. I finished the pantry and cleaned up the kitchen from the mess. And that feels SO much better. I told Mr. FixIt, in order to keep it in this condition, we need to do one shopping trip a week…from a list. And if he stops to pick up things for me, he has to stick to the list. You see all those noodles up there on the second shelf? And all that cereal on the top shelf? Well, he’s incredibly helpful and when he stops at the store, he buys things that he thinks we might need. That’s how we get seven cans of corn and ten cans of green beans. lol

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Since it’s organized, it surely makes cooking a lot easier. I went through the freezer on Tuesday, so we can actually use the food in there now and the items in the pantry are easily visible and accessible. When I went to the pharmacy on Wednesday night, I picked up some clear storage, vacuum sealed storage containers to keep from getting pantry moths again. As a person on the autism spectrum, I have a difficult time with organizing, but I get a wild hair from time to time and miracles happen!

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I received my beautiful new cookbook yesterday. Celebrating Southern Appalachian Food by Jim Casada and Tipper Pressley is a treasure trove of folklore and foodways of the Southern Appalachian Mountains. West Virginia is on the northern end of that mountain chain, so many of the food terms were familiar to me. My Pop-Pop called a bottle of pop (soda) by an old timey term…dope. This stems from the days when Coca Cola had cocaine in it. When Grandma tasted something she really loved, she smiled and remarked it was larrupin’ good and licked her lips. Quantitative terms like mess , passel, pinch, scootch, sliver, smattering, smidgen, tad, and tetch were commonly used in our country kitchen. Reading the glossary took me back to my early days on the farm. Reading about eating “a mess of turnip greens and a pone for supper” had me dragging out my favorite iron skillet to make a pone (cornbread) of my own. Oh, the kitchen smelled wonderful and it was enough to stimulate Mr. FixIt’s appetite so he could eat a little something.

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Nesting in the fall has me longing to cook and bake which I can still do while I’m watching my calories. I just need to make adjustments, eat smaller portions, and keep within my calorie budget. That’s what I love about Noom…there are NO bad foods. I truly can eat anything I want. Nothing is off limits. I just have to be smart about it. Yesterday, I hit a new low weight and have now lost 31.6 pounds. If you are interested in talking to me about Noom…or any other method of creating a sensible diet plan, just send me a private message. I can get you a code that will give you two free weeks and a reduced price. I’ve tried a dozen different weight loss plans, but Noom is the first that feels not only doable, but sustainable. I’m hopeful. And I’m feeling so much better…not counting the aches a pains of the last couple of days. Let’s hope I keep from getting “the ‘vid”.

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I went out yesterday afternoon to pick some of the beautiful milkweed seed that I found when I was mowing. I spread some throughout both pollinator gardens and some along the perimeter of our fields. I’m hoping to keep building up my plants through gathering wild seed from the area…which is free.

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Gotta love free stuff!

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🍁

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““Be glad, O children of Zion, and rejoice in the Lord your God, for he has given the early rain for your vindication; he has poured down for you abundant rain, the early and the latter rain, as before.”

\nJoel 2:23 ESV\n
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We Are All Snowflakes…Each Different in Our Own Beautiful Way

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Looking across one of the pollinator gardens to the near field.

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When we left for our trip, you saw an occasional leaf turning. You felt the crispness in the air. You knew fall was right around the corner. When we got up yesterday morning, it was grey and dismal. No rain. By afternoon, the sun broke through and it was a stellar fall day here at Marshmallow Ranch. 

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Just Across the Dirt Road Along the Near Field

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I had to run to town midday to pick up the mail they’ve been holding. I stopped by the courthouse to leave my personal property information at the appraiser’s office. Then I ran into a little antique and junk shop tucked away on a side street of our little village. As always, I found some things that had to come home with me. There was a really nice pair of Herman Survivor Boots that were just a little too big for me, but I’m sure someone in the family can wear them. I couldn’t pass them up for the price. I found some things I can use for decorating and for gift giving. I have always wanted one of those friend plates. It has a lovely verse about enjoying the goodies on it, then refilling it with your own baked goods and sending the plate on to the next recipient. 

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The Far Ridge on the Other Side of the Two Lane Blacktop

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I had to stop at the Piggly Wiggly for some staple since the fridge was bare. That’s one of the upsides of having an uber clean refrigerator…when you go away, you don’t come home to a bunch of science experiments. As I wandered the aisles, I chatted with this person and that. A lady stopped me and said, “You seem pretty happy.” I told her we just got home from a two week camping trip the night before and I was on top of the world. She smiled and patted my arm. “I’ll ask you again in a week.” Yeah…this high is wearing off soon. Even with the furnace on the fritz.

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The Blueberry Bush

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Mr. FixIt worked on it most of the day yesterday and wasn’t any closer to an answer other than the igniter isn’t getting any juice. He’s the handiest man to have around and I’m sure he’ll figure it out in no time. I brought home fixin’s for chili. Mr. FixIt and I haven’t been eating much red meat anymore. I found two huge chicken breasts on sale at the store and brought them home. I got out my handy new/old meat grinder that I bought on our trip to Colorado and ground them up. I cooked the ground chicken just like ground beef and made the chili for a lot less calories. It was great!

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The Hedgerow Along the Front Creek

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With the leftovers tucked away in the fridge, I noticed it was the golden hour so I went outside to catch some shots of the colors around us. There’s not a photo that does it justice. I walked the perimeter of the far field and noticed we have a bumper crop of walnuts again this year. I’ll go out with a bucket before the rains on Friday and pick them up. There’s a ton more on the trees. I counted FIVE walnut trees, just loaded for bear!

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The Last of the Pollinator Blossoms

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As I was marveling and taking photos, I turned around and there was Mr. FixIt just watching me and smiling. He just makes my heart do loop-de-loops when he smiles that smile at me. This trip away was good for us…no daily distractions like broken furnaces or some such nuisance. It’s so sweet to fall in love with your spouse all over again.

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The Hedgerow Along the Back Creek

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I have a couple of deadlines to meet today. Mr. FixIt has to go to town for a few things, so I’ll stay home and work on the computer and enjoy the view out the office window. There’s supposed to be a turn in the weather tomorrow.

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🍁

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“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”

\nEphesians 4:32 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2023-10-19T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2023/10/19/so-much-has-changed-since.html", "tags": ["Change","Farm Life","Marriage","Home"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2023/10/02/a-beautiful-autumn-day.html", "title": "A Beautiful Autumn Day", "content_html": "\n
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Not only was the weather perfect, but the company was as well. Our oldest great grandchild celebrated her “6th Birthday” yesterday complete with her own bouncy house and an appearance by Elsa, the Princess from Frozen. After a couple little hiccups getting there, we arrived just in time to see Elsa and some fine little Princesses singing and dancing. Oh, it had to be a storybook birthday for our little one and one she’ll never forget!

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Once the candles were lit and blown out, the pizza was eaten, and the gifts were opened, we begged our leave and ran some errands. We needed to go to Lowe’s to find something to rig up the antenna for our new cell phone booster. We were designing things in our heads faster than we could make the other understand and I was hangry. A nice salad later and I was back on an even keel.

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We went home and I started to back the mower out of the building when I looked down and there was an old spare tire mount for a camper we sold last year. I took one look at it and knew our antenna dilemma was likely over. I took it out and showed it to Mr. FixIt and we both agreed this could be the answer for mounting the antenna to the camper. It needs a small adaptation so he’ll take it to the welder today to have it fixed.

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Papaw’s Best Buddy

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We are in a crunch now. It’s finally dry enough and we have the time to mow. I got a good deal done yesterday afternoon and will finish today. I need to take things out of the camper that we don’t need and stock it with what we do. Fortunately Beans mowed at the farm over the weekend so we don’t have to try to fit that in. We head out Wednesday morning, so what doesn’t get done, either won’t or we’ll get what we need when we’re on the road. I’m not stressing about it.

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One thing I am going to take with me is my super find of the week. We arrived early for our eye appointments last week and walked to the end of the building where the Goodwill is. We like to pick around and see if there’s anything we can’t live without. (What was it I was saying just last week about needing to get RID of stuff??? lol) Anyway, we found a metal basket that you roast corn in over a fire. That’s going with us. But the coup de gras was a Yeti can cooler. They normally cost $25 and I got mine for $.99!!! Whoop, Whoop!!!

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?

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“Bread is made for laughter, and wine gladdens life, and money answers everything.”

\nEcclesiastes 10:19 ESV\n
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When I became a widow, I discovered fuzzy blankets really helped to comfort me. Now, I design them with my favorite photos and scriptures to comfort others who are bereaved. 

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Shop Now

\n\n", "date_published": "2023-10-02T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2023/10/02/a-beautiful-autumn-day.html", "tags": ["Family","Camping","Fun","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2023/09/29/catching-up-with-a-dear.html", "title": "Catching Up With a Dear Friend", "content_html": "\n
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“Grandma’s Farm” - c.1997 - Colored Pencil on Paper

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A lot of things get put on the back burner when I’m up to my eyeballs in chores here at Marshmallow Ranch. I got a little reprieve because it rained a lot on Wednesday and through the morning yesterday. And you know what that means! No mowing!!!

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I had a thing for drawing quilts when I worked full time and didn’t have time to create one myself.

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I holed up in the office all day catching up with phone calls and shopping for new eyeglasses on Zenni. My dear friend Steve came over so I could help him change his Facebook page to include his soon-to-be bride. Steve became a widower the year before Mr. Virgo died and he really took a long time to do things like clean out his wife’s personal items. Finally, sometime over the winter, he decided he was ready to find a partner to spend his Golden Years with.

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Another one I found.

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As his close friend, I was glad he wasn’t one of those men who go out shortly after their wife dies to find a “replacement.” But he’ll be the first to tell you, he wasn’t interested in replacing his gal. And, like so many, when he really WAS ready, Sharon crossed his path and lightning struck again! He totally changed his house in preparation for her…redecorating, painting, and putting down new floors. It was finally time for him to move forward. So, along with his internal and external housecleaning came a change in the Facebook page and his status…ENGAGED! I was honored that he asked me to help him make it the perfect landing place for sharing his expanding family with the world. It turned out perfect, and he was able to keep all the friends he had from before…including those of his late wife. I’m so happy for him. And proud of all the hard work he did to get to this place. I know what he went through to get here.

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“Daughter #1” - c.1997 - Pencil on Paper

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Now I’m creating some personalized Christmas gifts he ordered while he was here. Hey…captive audience! I told him a little shopping spree in exchange for all that computer time seemed like a fair trade! 

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Interesting…I drew the picture on the left in ~1997. My marriage was on the skids and I often dreamed of a peaceful place where I could just be myself and be happy. I totally forgot about this drawing till I found it stuck between two pages in my old portfolio. The picture on the right is my Big Comfy Chair in our family room here on Marshmallow Ranch. A message to God…a plea for relief…delivered in HIS time.

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Other than my back hurting from sitting in this chair too much yesterday, I feel refreshed. Much better than the day before. Thank you all so much for you continued support and encouragement. You’re always there when I need you! Mr. FixIt goes to town today, so I’ll be working on those gifts and doing more with the family room.

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It was a good and productive day.

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?

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“He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.”

\nProverbs 18:22 NIV\n
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It’s Apple Harvest Time. Time for a fresh candle to warm up your cozy nest!

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Shop Now

\n\n", "date_published": "2023-09-29T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2023/09/29/catching-up-with-a-dear.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Love","Marriage","Friends"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2023/08/08/the-eye-of-the-storm.html", "title": "The Eye of the Storm", "content_html": "\n
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This beautiful Ohio Blue Swallowtail stayed with me for well over half an hour. It would flitter away and eventually make its way back and sit on the porch floor at my feet. It’s magical moments like this that keep life interesting and reminds me of just how much beauty there is in the world.

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Well, what was supposed to be a three to four day respite at The Farm turned into a quick overnight. A strong but brief thunderstorm blew through just before dawn. The last crack of thunder was a flash/bang that about scared the bejeebers out of me. It settled down and I fell back to sleep. Surprisingly, I didn’t wake up till about 10:00. Mr. FixIt always seems to know when I wake up so he texted me a little after. We chatted a bit then I got up and made my cuppa and went out on the front porch to listen to the birds.

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I noticed the clouds were darkening and I could hear thunder in the distance. Just about that time, the wind picked up, I got a notification of a tornado warning, and my phone rang. It was Mr. FixIt. He wanted to be sure I knew what was going on. He said Parkersburg was getting it bad. That’s the thunder I could hear in the distance. Now, I’m not necessarily a Nervous Nellie when it comes to thunderstorms, but that old wooden house is nestled in a holler lined with huge trees. And the ground is mostly shale. A good strong wind could do so much damage and I wasn’t about to be a sitting duck just waiting for it.

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Grandma’s Rose of Sharon

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I told my sweetheart I was packing to come home and I was out of there in twenty minutes. It didn’t start raining till I got home but boy howdy, it was “Katie Bar The Door” in a hurry. We just got the truck unloaded and the skies opened up. It lasted several hours. I haven’t had a chance to look at the rain gauge yet, but I’ve heard Parkersburg got something like four inches of rain in an hour! Hokey Smokes! There is a used car lot down in the low ground of Garfield Avenue. Folks said “them cars was floating down the street.” Funny what you read on Facebook, ain’t it? Folks make up all kinds of tales. There was some truth in a few of them. Like this guy running his jet ski down the middle of Spring Street. Whoo Doggy. That was some rain!

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Of course, we missed out on all that. We just watched the rain pour down and start a brand new leak in the dining room by the chimney. Life’s an adventure! Along about 4:30 or so, the clouds lifted and the sun came out and Mr. FixIt said he was going to town to get a new mower blade and did I want to go with him. Awww, shoot…what intelligent woman would want to miss out on something that fun? So I said, sure…let me go tinkle and comb my hair. Because what self respecting sorta-Southern Belle doesn’t brush her hair and be sure to tinkle before they go out…right?

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Freeze frame caught the raindrops in midair!

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We went to town and looked at Tractor Supply and Walmart to no avail. It’s the end of mowing season, you see. The mower blades were a little picked over. I mean…there were a couple little bitty ones for a Barbie mower or something. And there were great big ones that could probably double as helicopter blades, I don’t know. But none matched ours. We held them up and compared and either they were too short or too long or too wide or they didn’t have the right holes in them for attaching them to that round thingy in the middle. So, as a last resort…we went to Rural King.

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Rural King is my jam. We have DATE NIGHTS at Rural King. They have everything from sawdust to the things that make it. There’s always a couple little birds that have gotten inside and they pig out on the free birdseed as fast as we pig out on the free popcorn. Mr. FixIt found a wire bird feeder in the shape of a rooster that held bird seed AND suet cakes! Boy Howdy…it was something to see.

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Isn’t it cute? You can get it here: [www.ruralking.com/rooster-s...](https://www.ruralking.com/rooster-suet-n-seed-feeder-21815)

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Now, did I tell you that the low ground of Parkersburg got hit with nearly four inches of rain approximately 90 minutes before we went there? We went into a flood ravaged area…for a mower blade. Truth be told, we bought that lawn mower from this guy that buys up mowers from yard sales and such then he fixes them up and sells them. He shoots for making a $40 profit from every sale, which is pretty decent. He does a bang up job, too. He tunes ‘em up some and paints ‘em pretty. But, when he painted this one, he got paint on the label of the mower blade and we had no idea what it said other than the first three letters.”Ste….” The gal at Tractor Supply asked us what brand the mower was and we looked at each other. “Um, it’s black and burgundy, I think.” 

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Anyway, we found the mower section at Rural King and there it was! Stens! That’s the brand. Mr. FixIt was picking up blade after blade, looking for one that matched. I was on the internet, looking up Stens Mower Blades. I’m showing him pictures, totally perplexed and wondering if this was something we were going to have to pull out the big guns for and go to…GASP…the lawn mower store! When, finally…my beloved turns over the mower blade and says, “Well, it has this number imprinted on the back.”

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More rain on the way…waves and waves of storms over the next week. Ahhhh….cooler temps!

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Neither one of us thought to turn it over and see if there was a part number! I plugged the number into the search bar on Amazon and…BOOM! $15.26 and it’ll be delivered Thursday. But, hey…we had a good time. We bought a bag of popcorn and the pigeons in the parking lot threatened to kill us over it. Like a scene with Tippi Hedren. We stopped at City Park and walked a lap to blow off some stink and headed on home.

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Fun times!

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?

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“A cheerful heart is good medicine….”

\nProverbs 17:22 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2023-08-08T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2023/08/08/the-eye-of-the-storm.html", "tags": ["Fun","Be Joyful!","Farm Life","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2023/08/05/a-little-touch-of-autumn.html", "title": "A Little Touch of Autumn", "content_html": "\n
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I’m so glad it’s the weekend and we got through this first week back. Remedial mowing was fun. At least it wasn’t blistering hot like it had been. Then there were two days with trips to town…both for appointments for Mr. FixIt. He’s suffered with back pain for years and I think we’re onto something here with the treatment plan. It’s helped one problem, but uncovered another because the pain was masking it. Now that we’ve uncovered what’s going on, we have a plan to work with and I’m sure we’ll having him back to his happy self in a short while. The man NEVER complains, so when he admits he’s in pain, I pay attention.

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When we were at his appointment on Thursday, they gave him his first Pneumovax injection for pneumonia. I was looking something up on phone to ask about and when I looked up, the medical assistant was putting the bandage on the injection site and it was way up on his shoulder joint. Now, you may recall, I did this for a living and you don’t go that high. You can injure the joint itself. But it was too late at that point. We had a couple of errands to run, then we went over to City Park to listen to live music.

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When we were getting back in the car to go home, Mr. FixIt winced. He could hardly move his arm. I put my hand on his arm and he was sweaty and my heart nearly jumped out of my chest. Mr. Virgo had left shoulder pain. Then he died. I wasn’t taking chances and I was ready to head to the ER but I went though every set of symptoms and determined it very likely was muscular. He felt fine. His arm felt like he’d been hit by a baseball bat. Neither one of us even thought of the vaccine as the culprit.

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We got home and he did what he always does when he has muscular pain…he turned the heating pad up to high and put in on the sore place. Within 15 minutes, he was speaking through gritted teeth. The a light bulb went on. He looked at me and said, “You don’t suppose it’s the vaccine making my arm hurt like this, you?”

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Well…duh!

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I ran to the kitchen and grabbed a cold compress from the freezer, whipped off the heating pad and put the icy gel pack on his booboo. Then I got him two extra strength acetaminophen and a drink. In ten minutes it started easing up. But he only slept about an hour Thursday night. So we were both pretty whupped yesterday.

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We finished up our errands and headed home. He stretched out in his Big Red Chair and I headed to my friend Rain’s yard sale. I met Rain through our dear friend Sparky who died in December of ‘22. She is a multiple time cancer survivor and an incredibly talented and kind woman. She LOVES to fish. I saw on her FB page yesterday that she had multiple tubs of fabric and quilting books for sale. Her sister is a quilter. And, Rain makes jewelry from antique silverware. Sound like anyone you might know?! I bought a lot of stuff and sat with Rain and her husband in the shade of their front porch. They live on the most beautiful piece of property. It’s a little slice of heaven out there…and so quiet.

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I finally tore myself away and Rain went in to get ready to go to the county fair. She was bidding on the Grand Champion Steer and needed to get there by 5:00. I came on home and had a summer supper…a tomato and onion sandwich…and that was about the end of my day. I told Mr. FixIt I need to mow today so we can stay ahead of it, then I’m going out to the farm for a few days to work on my shop. It’s time to get back in the swing of things. We don’t have anything scheduled this week, which is fine by us. 

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Time to have a vacation from our vacation!

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?

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“Night pierces my bones; my gnawing pains never rest.”

\nJob 30:17 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2023-08-05T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2023/08/05/a-little-touch-of-autumn.html", "tags": ["Farm Life","Marriage","Healing"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2023/06/26/feeling-the-time-crunch.html", "title": "Feeling the Time Crunch", "content_html": "\n
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I had all these plans to clean, do laundry, pack, and all manner of other things yesterday. Instead, I had just finished breakfast when Mr. FixIt saw a lawnmower on Marketplace. We bought a push mower from this guy a few years ago for our rental house and it’s still running well. Ours, on the other hand, needs something. I put a new carburetor on it and it still surges. We tried to adjust the throttle but you get two speeds….won’t start or jet engine. So, it was time to bite the bullet and replace it. It was only $140 for a 6.5hp Craftsman so hopefully it will do the trick and last us a long time. 

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As you know, if we go to town, we’re toast. There’s always a dozen errands and true to form, it was after 6:00 by the time we got home. That meant I had lost my window of opportunity to get a ton done and has put me behind even more. Then, when I loaded up the dishwasher and started it….it has finally bit the big one. It just sits there humming and heating and no water. It’s forever old and we’ve managed to get an extra year out of it by using the pots and pans cycle, but even that isn’t working. Now I have to unload it and wash all those dishes by hand, which isn’t a problem…it’s just another thing. I didn’t even use the dishwasher for the first two years I lived here so I can easily go back to that. It’s just not what I was planning on in the moment. But, isn’t that just the way? If we knew when something was going to break down, we’d have another one waiting in the wings, wouldn’t we?

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To lighten my load and to take of some of the self-imposed stress off of me, I put the shop on vacation mode. That will make one less thing for me to mess with every day while we are traveling. And I was getting a little burned out. I’ve been too busy to sit down and create more designs, so I’ll just leave it be a little then I can pick it back up when we get back. So far we don’t have much scheduled for August. I think it’ll take a month to recover after the Colorado trip anyway! 

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Our list is long, but no matter what, it’ll be done or it won’t. 

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⏰

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“And may the Lord our God show us his approval and make our efforts successful. Yes, make our efforts successful!”

\nPsalms 90:17 NLT\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2023-06-26T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2023/06/26/feeling-the-time-crunch.html", "tags": ["Colorado","Camping","Gratitude","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2023/06/25/we-did-a-thing.html", "title": "We Did a Thing", "content_html": "\n
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No, we didn’t buy another camper. The other day when we drove through town, we saw a sign in the park. 

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“Music Saturday Night 7-9PM”

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Cool! We love live music. So we made a note to go. But then it started raining and more was predicted through the evening. Mr. FixIt said that would be the end of the music so I took it we weren’t going to go. We went to the farm yesterday to mow before we leave on our trip. Beans texted me early to say the kids were there and there was no water. That pump has seen its better days and try as we might…repeatedly priming it isn’t a long term solution. The problem is, that meant the pump in the cellar house had been running for gosh know how long. It took us quite a bit of time to get the tractor to start this time, but she finally fired up and I got the lawn mowed while Mr. FixIt unplugged the pump and turned off the water heater again. Frank and Beans will get a new tank for the pump and hopefully that will take care of the problem.

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When we got home, I decided to take a short nap. We had hamburger for the grill. When I got up it was 6:00 and started cleaning up the kitchen to fix supper. Mr. FixIt came in and said, “We’re going to have to leave right now if we’re going to make it to the concert!” What??? I had no food ready and not much to throw together. I don’t handle quick changes to plans as well as I did when I was younger and I may have been a bit snippy to this nice man of mine. I made him a PB&J and threw some grapes, cold chicken, and pretzels in a bag with a couple of cans of Diet Coke and bottle of water. I was done and out the door in five minutes.

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We got to the park and….no one was there. There were a couple of birthday parties at the shelters, but no music. We went around the side where the sign was and someone had added a note saying the music had been moved into…

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THE SENIOR CENTER!

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I’ve never been there. I mean…senior centers are where old people go to play bingo and solve jigsaw puzzles, right??? I entered with great trepidation. I took my knitting. I figured I’d fit right in! The band was setting up and the room was pretty crowded. We found seats and I nibbled on the cold chicken and grapes and before long, the music started.

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The three piece band included drums, a bass guitar, and the lead singer who played keyboards, electric and acoustic guitars, the fiddle, and harmonica. The couple next to us smile. The man leaned over and whispered conspiratorially, “He used to play cruise ships.”

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Great. My inner two-year-old was grumpy from her nap, and she didn’t have her corn-on-the-cob and burgers on the grill like she wanted, and now she was being FORCED to sit in a room with OLD people and listen to a guy sing karaoke. I was positively a stink pot! I picked up my knitting and the music started.

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Then, the magic happened. 

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The lead singer opened his mouth and started singing. His range was remarkable. He easily went from deep, deep bass to falsetto and back again. He had a clever set up with a background vocals track he skillfully played because the other two musicians didn’t sing. He was a one man band with backup.

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He had an impressive repertoire and sang everything from rock and roll to country and gospel. Elvis, Garth Brooks, Willie Nelson, Jimmy Buffet. He had us singing the sha-la-las in Brown Eyed Girl. I looked around. Women were dancing in a conga line up the aisle and back around down the sides. Everyone was laughing and singing along.

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Suddenly, it hit me. In my parent’s older years, the music that was played in nursing homes was likely to be songs of longing for the boys who went off to war, or Glenn Miller’s rendition of Pennsylvania Six Five Thousand. They knew all the words. Nowadays, we’ll be in the senior centers and nursing homes singing Neil Young and the Grateful Dead and the Eagles. We’ll know all the words, too.

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That’s when I knew. I’ll be back to the Senior Center. They have live music the third Saturday of every month. They serve a great pulled pork sandwich and there’s vendors with handmade goods like birdhouses and peanut butter fudge. They sell tickets for a 50/50 drawing. I was humbled. Maybe there’s something I can do to help there. When we left I gave Mr. FixIt my profoundest apologies for being a pistol and he smiled and hugged me. He gets me. 

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Hmmmmm…I wonder if they have yoga classes or a knitting group?

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?

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“Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had.”

\nPhilippians 2:3-5 NLT\n
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Life is like the ocean…it goes up and down.  

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Shop Now

\n\n", "date_published": "2023-06-25T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2023/06/25/we-did-a-thing.html", "tags": ["Growth","Change","Marriage","Control"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2023/06/18/my-man.html", "title": "My Man", "content_html": "\n
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I went on a little walkabout today to check out the pollinator gardens. It seems the only flowers right now are the daisies and tons of clover. I found a large patch of pink clover and the field is full of Indian Mock Strawberry (Potentilla indica), formally (Duchesnea indica). It’s everywhere and the little red berries look like miniature strawberries. But, they have no flavor whatsoever. Mixed in with other berries, you can eat them in jam. but I just look at them and smile at their little five-petal flowers and bright dots of red in the field grass. I think the daisies will continue to bloom for a while.

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Mr. FixIt is such a doll. He had an errand to run this weekend and he did it yesterday so he could be here to help me pack up for my girl trip. His back is doing so much better, but I tried to keep him from toting too much heavy stuff. He did bring some jars of canned vegetable soup up from the basement but I took them from him at the top and carried them the rest of the way out to the camper.

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I spent a good portion of the day cleaning and organizing the camper. It is so small that it doesn’t take long till it’s in total disarray. But now everything looks great…neat and tidy. I charged up the battery for the portable drill I use to raise and lower the stabilizing jacks. Mr. FixIt cut up a watermelon into chunks and I filled a container to put in the camper fridge. I didn’t need both big lockers that we use to store our outdoor kitchen items and dry goods. One sufficed.

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I have knitting packed and a good book. I have friends coming for socializing. I love to girl camp. There’s always siesta time in our respective campers during the heat of the day then we come back out at social hour. We all contribute to the meals. I’m bringing some home-canned vegetable beef soup and some spicy pork green chili for the breakfast burritos. 

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I’ll be back Thursday then we take the truck in on Friday for new rear brakes. Mr. FixIt will take it in next week to have the oil changed and the tires rotated. Then we need to stock the camper and pack up to leave on the 28th for our Colorado trip! The summer is always so jam packed full of fun! Mr. FixIt is going fishing today with Junior FixIt so I think I’ll mow before I leave for the campground. I hate to leave all that work for him.

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Happy Father’s Day to all the dads out there. And Happy Dad’s Day to all the moms who had to do both jobs. Just like Mother’s Day, not all holidays bring happy memories and they can be difficult so if you struggle with this, my heart is with you.

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?

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“As a face is reflected in water, so the heart reflects the real person.”

\nProverbs 27:19 NLT\n
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No ads on Sunday…I hope you have a Blessed Day and get to go out into nature!

\n\n", "date_published": "2023-06-18T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2023/06/18/my-man.html", "tags": ["Camping","Love","Be Joyful!","Road Trip","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2023/06/07/a-calculated-guess.html", "title": "A Calculated Guess", "content_html": "\n
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The quilt, tucked in its own little storage box

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We ran to town yesterday for Mr. FixIt’s medical appointment and…as I predicted…it turned into an all day ordeal. I didn’t sleep well because I was afraid we’d sleep through the alarm and I was a little concerned about the procedure he’s going to have done. But the doctor was thorough, knowledgeable, and reassuring so I left confident everything’s going to be fine. He’s done over thirty thousand of these so we’re cool.

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Afterward, we went on the hunt for the perfect shirt for Mr. FixIt for the wedding. He’s going to wear his grey sport coat over black pants. We went with a monochromatic look and got a grey shirt. Try as we might, we could not find a white shirt that he liked so grey it is. We walked all over the mall to get our steps in and we were really ready to leave. By that time Mr. FixIt’s back hurt and my feet hurt and we were over it.

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We had to stop at Walmart. It seems we ALWAYS have to stop at Walmart. Gas is cheapest there. I had a prescription to pick up. I dropped Mr. FixIt off at Kohl’s so he could just make EXTRA sure the shirt we bought at Penneys was the best we could find. And it was. I swung back to pick him up and we headed home.

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I did a little work on the itinerary for the Colorado trip. I finally have a place lined up where I can store the camper while we are visiting in Denver. Then I needed to renew my Good Sam’s Club and AAA. Their computers were the ones not working right this time so I gave up and came out to the camper to write.

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I told you I found a box in which to package the quilt for this weekend. I went to Michael’s and found one of those pretty decorator boxes with handles that look all the world like a small trunk. I eyeballed it and thought about the quilt and how I could fold it and I was absolutely certain it would fit exactly within its confines. Granted, when I got home, I had to fold and refold several times to get it to fit, but it finally went in perfectly. The only thing is, I couldn’t fold it so that the tag was visible. I thought that would be rather pretty. But this will do and as you can see, I got that king-sized quilt in there with a little room to spare!

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I’ve been a little off my game here the last couple of weeks. I couldn’t quite put my finger on anything, but I felt antsy, anxious, scared, worried. I know this procedure has been looming, but this was more than that. I felt myself watching Mr. FixIt with a kind of curious fear. I couldn’t for the life of me figure out what it was. I had a rough night Monday so I had a lot of time tossing and turning and working it over in my mind. Then for some reason, the thought…”check the days” fluttered across my mind. I have an app on my phone that calculates the days since an event. When I opened it up and did a little calculating, my fear made perfect sense.

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I had Mr. Virgo in my life for a certain number of days before he died. I calculated the approximate days since Mr. FixIt and I started dating and…it’s getting really close to the same number. My subconscious has been hyper-vigilant with worry and fear. Thinking things like, “What would I do if the unthinkable happened…yet again?” “Could I survive that?” What if…what if…what if?

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Once I saw it clearly, I understood what I’ve been doing. I’ve been trying to avoid any and all pain. But that is not living a mindful, present life, is it? The Bible says not to worry about tomorrow today. Tomorrow has enough to worry about all on its own. It also isn’t good for our marriage and it’s not fair to Mr. FixIt. But now that I “get it”, I can correct the path and make things right. It made my heart melt into him and I know for a fact that all is right in our world.

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Anniversary reactions are a real psychological phenomenon and while this wasn’t an actual date on the calendar, the body memory of my trauma losing Mr. Virgo somehow knew Mr. FixIt and I have been together just about the same amount of time. Grief is not limited to the actual loss. It weaves its way through every part of your life and pops up…sometimes years later…to give you another layer of your “self” to come to terms with. The mind will do whatever it can to protect itself. I’m grateful the Holy Spirit whispered to my heart and told me to “check the days.” It makes perfect sense to me now.

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?

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“But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.”

\nLuke 2:19 NIV\n
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Even when it’s been ten years and you think surely you must be completely finished working through grief, you can easily step on that broken rake in the tall grass and it smacks you right between the eyes.

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\n\n", "date_published": "2023-06-07T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2023/06/07/a-calculated-guess.html", "tags": ["Grief","Wisdom","Choices","Change","Memories","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2023/06/02/an-abundance-of-gratitude.html", "title": "An Abundance of Gratitude", "content_html": "\n
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A look down inside an old Poplar Tree stump. My PopPop planted this tree when I was almost a teenager. It got really big, really fast and when my elderly aunt lived here alone, she didn’t like the way it twisted and turned in the windstorms so she asked my uncle to cut it down. This is all that’s left and there is a young berry vine growing in it. I suppose a bird “planted” the seed and off it went!

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First of all, I want to thank you all for your wonderful words of support and admiration for the quilt I made for our granddaughter’s wedding. You are right…it was truly a labor of love. I joked with the former Mrs. FixIt that I was going to need to start on her little sister’s quilt soon so I won’t be so pushed for time to get it done. She just finished her first year of college…so time’s a’wastin’!

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I decided to stay at the farm for one more day because I have been neglecting my shop in order to finish the quilt. With this lightning fast internet, I was hoping to get boatloads done. Unfortunately, what I learned was…it wasn’t JUST the internet that is slow. I have had this laptop for several years and no matter how much I take off of it and move data to an external hard drive, I think it has just about reached the end of its usefulness. It really is impossible to get ahead if it takes you all day to do three little things. So, I’ll be watching for sales for a good laptop because we travel so much…I need something portable.

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Once I finished with the three items I was designing, I started researching a little on our Colorado trip. I usually have this completely finished with an itinerary in a file, mapped out with directions, maps, phone and reservation numbers. I’m just way behind. I have no doubt it will all fall into place and work out perfectly. To be honest, I was concerned the debt ceiling wouldn’t get passed and our Social Security checks would be in jeopardy. I was a little hesitant to spend money preparing for a trip we might not be able to take. I’m thinking we have a little breathing room now and things will be ok…for now, anyway.

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I was really frustrated yesterday when I got on the scale and it went up a pound and a half again. I have never weighed every day when I’ve followed a diet plan, but Noom is different. If it keeps frustrating me, I’m going to put the same weight every day and just weigh once a week. There is no need to risk quitting out of frustration. I’m enjoying the learning that come with this program. I’ve always been science and psychology oriented so this is definitely in my wheelhouse. 

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At the risk of putting some of you off, I am going to share something I made in my shop. I can’t remember if I shared the boots I made for Little for the big 16th birthday. Little loves dinosaurs and bright colors, so I designed these. They were a BIG hit and all the kids at school LOVED them. So much so that some of the teachers want me to design some for them as well! I finally got a chance to work on them yesterday so I’ll share a little. I love how they came out!

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I tried to light the hot water heater yesterday. It started right up in December when I tried to light it, but there was something wrong with the exhaust vent so I turned it back off. No matter what I tried yesterday, it simply would NOT light. Mr. FixIt said he’ll try it when he comes out next time. I’ll be back out tomorrow to put some air in the well pump but he can’t make it out. He has two things he has to go to.

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So, this morning I’ll pack up and head back home to my sweetheart. Absence really DOES make the heart grow fonder!

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?

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“That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.”

\nGenesis 2:24 NIV\n
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Positive Aging entails embracing all things with a sense of joy and hope. One of the things that I’ve been adamant about regarding my upcoming 70th Birthday is…NO negative self-talk. I am NOT old! I’ve got grey hair and I love it! Gone are the days of dying my hair and acrylic nails. I am what…and WHO…I am. Grey Hair…Don’t Care!!!

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Shop Now

\n\n", "date_published": "2023-06-02T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2023/06/02/an-abundance-of-gratitude.html", "tags": ["Aging","Farm Life","Marriage","Home"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2023/05/24/up-with-the-morning-dew.html", "title": "Up With The Morning Dew", "content_html": "\n
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I awoke early yesterday. Mr. FixIt had an appointment in town at 10:20 and I was afraid I would oversleep. I laid there…listening to the birds and watching the sky brighten till I finally got up. I really enjoy when I get to sleep in the camper. Pretty soon it will be too hot to sleep out there without an air conditioner and the power we have the camper hooked up to will not support that. So…I take advantage of it while I can.

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I dressed while the kettle was heating up then fixed a lovely breakfast of yogurt, fresh sliced peaches, and a sprinkling of granola. When the water was hot, I poured my morning cup of RYZE mushroom coffee and opened the camper door to sit on the steps and eat. I loved how the morning light was coming in the door on my fun rug, so I set the food down and grabbed my phone to capture this little snippet of peace.

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Mr. FixIt’s appointment went well, and afterward we went to Ward’s Market. I don’t know if it’s the same Ward’s Market that was over in Belpre when I was growing up. I can remember going there with my mom when I was a child. We always went to Ward’s for the very best watermelon and seasonal fruits and vegetables. Dad had a garden a couple of years, and we always had fresh produce from Grandma’s farm. So going to Ward’s was a special treat.

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I stop at this market as often as I can. The folks there are so kind and helpful. There’s always a warm greeting and a funny story. And the colors just pop there…reds, yellows, and greens inside…and crazy beautiful flowers outside. I love hanging baskets of flowers, but the only time I ever had any luck with them was when I built my home in New Castle, Colorado. I had the sprinkler guy hook up a separate zone to water my flowers on a timer, so they were always gorgeous. If you ever make it to Parkersburg, look  up Ward’s Market on 7th Street and tell them Ginny McKinney sent you.

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We headed home and I made a monstrous salad for a late lunch and we both stretched out for a little siesta. Then we watch the news and Mr. FixIt put the new garden soil we bought on top of the elephant ears he planted a couple of weeks ago. I started cleaning the camper and putting stuff away. We’ve decided to take a quick impromptu camping trip for three nights at one of our favorite nearby campgrounds. Cell service is spotty but just across the river is a produce stand with wifi so I should still be able to post….pictures at the very least!

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?

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“Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well.”

\n3 John 1:2 NIV\n
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It’s Wedding Season…Give Some Good Advice!

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Shop Now

\n\n", "date_published": "2023-05-24T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2023/05/24/up-with-the-morning-dew.html", "tags": ["Health","Camping","Grace","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2023/03/30/what-constitutes-a-date.html", "title": "What Constitutes a Date?", "content_html": "\n
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We don’t go out “on a date” very often. We never have, really. I guess between knowing each other forever, being on a fixed income, and living so far out in the country, the idea of getting dressed up and driving to town for a fancy dinner out is just something that has never appealed to us. 

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I used to live that life. It was fun and exciting to go to fine restaurants and rub elbows with “the haves”. To stroll the streets of Aspen or Snowmass, wander through the hoity-toity shops, then cozy up in front of a fire with fancy food and forks I had no idea how to use. Well, let’s just say…this country girl learned how to feign social prowess to a degree. But talk about imposter syndrome. I was really a fish out of water.

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There were a lot of reasons I came home to West Virginia but the biggest one was to find myself. To go back to my roots. I remember talking with my long-time sister-friend. I can’t remember the conversation per se, but I think I was sounding a little too pretentious to someone who has known me since we were fifteen. She knew better and called me on it. She reminded me not to get too big for my britches because she knew from whence we came. She was my Boone’s-Farm-Ride-or-Die home girl. 

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When I came back, I was broken into a million pieces. I needed the comfort of these hills and red clay to patch the pieces together again…piece by piece…stitch by stitch till I began to believe I could survive. I was four years a widow when I had my first date with Mr. FixIt. We went for a drive through the hills and backroads. I sat back in the passenger seat of his truck with the window down, letting the wind blow through my hair. I felt a glimmer of something. Something familiar, yet different enough. Something warm. Something comfortable.

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We dated for awhile and it became apparent this was something special and we committed to see where it might take us. Our dates consisted of grabbing a salad and heading down to the river to watch the boat traffic on the water. Or going to Rural King to look at the baby chicks and ducklings and buy birdseed. Or going for a long drive in the country. They were inexpensive dates. They were comfortable dates. They were made more special by the bond between us.

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Every day is a date because we choose it to be. We choose to be here for one another. We choose to love each other. These are the lessons gleaned from the fires of my grief. That simple is better. Less is more. That stuff doesn’t matter and food is food just like a car is just a car. Be it a tender cut of Wagyu Beef or burgers on the pool deck. A brand new Mercedes convertible or 2002 Lincoln. The fact I get to do this with someone kind…with someone faithful and true…with someone who loves Jesus is the wealthiest existence I could imagine.

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Yesterday’s big Dinner Date? 

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Cracker Barrel!

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They make swoon worthy grits. Biscuits that melt in your mouth. And sweet tea that tastes like the nectar of the gods. Their waitstaff is friendly and attentive. All in a clean and comfortable dining room adorned with antiques like I grew up with on Grandma’s farm.

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Someday, I want to look back and remember these comfy dates and less of the evenings I primped in front of a mirror and built up the non-existent courage I felt to be “on”…to be something I really wasn’t. Not deep down inside. This is much healthier and much more fulfilling.

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I won’t take that for granted. Not even for a minute.

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?

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“…Love makes up for practically anything…”

\n1 Peter 4:7-11 MSG\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2023-03-30T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2023/03/30/what-constitutes-a-date.html", "tags": ["Fun","Love","God","Choices","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2023/03/21/heavens-to-murgatroyd.html", "title": "Heavens to Murgatroyd!", "content_html": "\n
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The light pollution from Parkersburg to the west.

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I had to look up the origins of that phrase. Turns out, it was started by the writers of the Yogi Bear Show in 1961. It’s what the character “Snagglepuss” used to exclaim. His other memorable line was “Exit…stage left!” It’s the little things that keep me entertained!

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Anyway…I digress. How many times have I lamented over a trip to town turning into a trek the likes of which would tempt a lesser woman to lose her religion? Fortunately, Mr. FixIt’s doctor appointment wasn’t at the crack of dawn. That being said, I really don’t like late appointments either. I worked in medicine most of my life. I know what happens by 3:00 in the afternoon. Days can easily devolve into chaos and patients sit in an endless loop of boredom and frustration. It’s not for the faint of heart.

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Thankfully, my sweet husband had the foresight to head into town early to get the majority of our errands and shopping done before his 2:50 appointment. We went to my favorite store first…Rural King. We needed kitty litter, and we gave in and bought another bag of birdseed. Our feather kids have been busy at the feeders since they arrived from their winter abodes. We stopped to get a bite to eat and headed to the appointment.

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It was a stellar day yesterday. It got warmer than they predicted and the thermometer on the car said 54°! I sat in the car and worked on my project and finally…three hours later…Mr. FixIt came back to the car. The good news is, he’s improving and doesn’t have to come back for three months. The bad news is…sitting three hours in a doctor’s office isn’t any fun.

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We stopped to pick up a few groceries and headed home. We left home at 12:30 and got back at 7:30. I truly wish we lived just on the outskirts of town instead of out in the boonies. It would make life a lot easier. One of these days…we’ll get there. At least we’re heading in the right direction. I don’t have to be anywhere till Saturday when my high school girlfriends are meeting for coffee! We haven’t had a coffee date since December so it’s long overdue.

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I ordered something special for Little’s sixteenth birthday and it arrived yesterday. It was a custom order and turned out better than I could have imagined! I’ll share it with you all after they’ve opened the gift so I won’t run the risk of spoiling the surprise…theirs and mine. Cryptic! It is so har for e to believe that my Little Bear is nearly sixteen! I mean…where on earth has the time gone. They were only five when Mr. Virgo died. They barely remember him anymore.

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Time has a way of slipping away from us. The days were long, but the years were short.

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?

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“For as the earth brings forth its sprouts, and as a garden causes what is sown in it to sprout up, so the Lord God will cause righteousness and praise to sprout up before all the nations.”

\nIsaiah 61:11 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2023-03-21T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2023/03/21/heavens-to-murgatroyd.html", "tags": ["Health","Gratitude","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2023/03/09/dealing-with-disappointment.html", "title": "Dealing With Disappointment", "content_html": "\n
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The other day, Mr. FixIt and I were watching the episode of NCIS where the big boss’s wife was caught in some crossfire and was killed. As he began to deal with his grief, he came across a box of papers that he needed to sort through. There was an envelope with a bank statement and the key to a safe deposit box. When he investigated further, he found his late wife had consulted with a lawyer about division of assets and she had a sizable amount of money stashed away under her name only. Leon was understandably upset but by the end of the episode, they figured out what had happened. He had nearly died himself and she was scared for what would happen to her and the kids, or even if she wanted to face that.

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Of course, NCIS is Hollywood…not real life. What happens when you find out maybe the stories you were told weren’t exactly the way things happened? What happens when you find debt you didn’t know was there? Or there were other secrets…damning things that could threaten your faith in what you had? Making you question if what you had was real. I’ve heard stories from readers who have opened up about such things. And I’ve gone through it myself.

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One time, early after Mr. Virgo died, I relayed one of the stories he had told me about his grandfather. Later that day, I got a note from one of his cousins saying that story was absolutely NOT true and I should stop telling “family stories” that were not mine. It gave me pause. There were other things I discovered that didn’t quite ring true. I found another one yesterday while searching for something unrelated. 

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I busied myself with other things as I contemplated what it all meant…I mean, really meant to me. Mr. Virgo and I met in our mid-fifties. There had been a LOT of water under our bridges by that time. It wasn’t like being in our twenties with a fresh first marriage and a lifetime of groundwork. We had baggage. Baggage we took a quick inventory of and decided there were no huge deal breakers and we loved and trusted each other enough so we progressed forward.

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Finding facts after a death can make you question the veracity of your relationship. You have to go through his or her belongings after your spouse dies. And you can find out things you wish you hadn’t. Here’s how I dealt with that. Mr. Virgo treated me like a queen. He thought the sun rose and set at my feet and there was no denying that…no matter how elaborate his stories were. I look back now and I know some of them were hyperbolical. But what does it matter? The sun rose and set at his feet, too.

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The lesson I took from that is…employ careful discernment. My relationship with Mr. FixIt is different. For one thing, we’ve known each other since we were kids. And, I set strict ground rules…we do not lie…stretch the truth…exaggerate…polish…or hide stuff. When I smell it, I call it out…and so does he. Do I honestly think none of that will happen? Heck no! But I question stuff and don’t take everything at face value anymore. I ask myself how important it is. If it’s not, then we’re fine. If it’s important…we hash it out.

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I was still reeling from a difficult divorce when I met Mr. Virgo. Even though it had been five years, my confidence and self esteem had taken a big hit. Add to that how movie-star handsome he was, and I fell hook, line, and sinker for everything. I didn’t want to rock the proverbial boat and risk “being left” again. You learn a lot about what you really want and what is really important to you when you go through hard times. I mean…we are human. We are fallible. We will make mistakes because we are not perfect. Only God will never fail us. If we know this and understand this, it takes a lot of pressure off of our expectations of each other.

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I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little disappointed with what I learned yesterday, but it doesn’t change the fact that we loved each other and our marriage was a beautiful time in my life. I forgive him…as I hope he forgave me my own iniquities. These things have strengthened my resolve that Mr. FixIt and I have a marriage grounded first in God, then in truth, honesty, and love. It can’t get much better than that.

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?

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“and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.””

\nJohn 8:32 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2023-03-09T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2023/03/09/dealing-with-disappointment.html", "tags": ["Faith","Forgiveness","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2023/02/15/valentines.html", "title": "Valentines", "content_html": "\n
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Mr. FixIt finished cutting in around the doors, the top, and the bottom of the walls yesterday. We were going to tag team and he took the first shift. We didn’t count on the handy edging gizmo to work so well and he was done in less than thirty minutes. I continued to work on this project. I’ve hit several stumbling blocks, but I think I’m back on track now. The learning curve is fierce. Or…maybe it’s my brain that’s not as spry as it used to be. Who knows? 

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After my sweetheart snoozed in his Big Red Chair, we decided to go to town for pizza as our Valentine’s Day celebration. We weren’t sure where to try. We’re disappointed with our usual place. And there are several in town that people rave over but we wouldn’t give them the time of day. Too expensive. Too greasy. Too dodgy. Finally, we settled on a tiny little hole in the wall over in Belpre called Smitty’s. 

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I have to tell you…my first little slice was unimpressive. But by the second….oh, yum! It wasn’t by any means my favorite pizza ever, but it was decidedly passable. We sat along the Ohio River overlooking the mansion on Blennerhassett Island. The water was like glass and reflected the sycamores and the grand manse with precision. We munched out on our Italian delight and enjoyed the peace and quiet along with four or five other cars with folks doing the same thing.

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Afterwards, we went to the Kroger store and bought a cake. Not just any cake. A Black and White cake like the one the kids brought Mr. FixIt for his birthday. This cake is so delicious, I’m hard pressed as to which side I like the best. The chocolate doesn’t seem to make my tummy hurt like eating chocolate candy so I get the same flavor. I think we should cut it up in slices and freeze some of it so we don’t just finish it of as fast as we can. It’s that good.

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We came on home and enjoyed our evening together. We are each other’s best valentine! Mr. FixIt picked up the kraft paper that was taped down in the hallway. Thank GOODNESS! Have you ever seen a video of a cat with a piece of scotch tape stuck to her paw? She’ll jerk around trying to shake that off…tiptoeing and prancing around like crazy. That’s what we’ve been doing walking on that crackly kraft paper for the last several days. I’m SO glad it’s gone now!

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We have to start doing more projects now. Today’s high is supposed to be 73°! We’re going to uncover the Big Birdhouse and get her set up and cleaned so we can advertise her for sale this week. Same with Joy, the ‘67 Franklin. They both have to go to new homes. Our list is long and our time is short. Not the best recipe for success…but succeed, we shall!

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“Oh! Teach us to live well! Teach us to live wisely and well! Come back, God—how long do we have to wait?— and treat your servants with kindness for a change. Surprise us with love at daybreak; then we’ll skip and dance all the day long. Make up for the bad times with some good times; we’ve seen enough evil to last a lifetime. Let your servants see what you’re best at— the ways you rule and bless your children. And let the loveliness of our Lord, our God, rest on us, confirming the work that we do. Oh, yes. Affirm the work that we do!”

\nPsalms 90:12-17 MSG\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2023-02-15T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2023/02/15/valentines.html", "tags": ["Growth","Comfort","Love","Choices","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2023/02/11/a-warm-night-in-the.html", "title": "A Warm Night in the Camper", "content_html": "\n
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I know it may sound silly, but I love sleeping in the camper. I think that was imprinted deeply when I found my first camper to be such a sanctuary for my grief as a new widow. Somehow it transported me above the pain just enough to allow me to breathe and take little bites instead of drowning in it. I’ve had a camper ever since. Several, to be exact. And each one comforted me.

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I don’t need comforting as much anymore. Now my escape is more of a place to just be with my thoughts, my writing, and this project. It doesn’t have to be on the road or at some fancy place. I can camp 100 feet from the house and it feels just as adventurous as a National Park clear across the country. And…it’s free!

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It doesn’t hit Mr. FixIt that way. He would rather have his comfy bed and bathroom handy. But he would never deny me the pleasure of camping whenever I need a cozy camper fix. I can guarantee you something. If Mr. Virgo were still alive, I never would have gone off camping without him. He didn’t like it if I went to Denver for a visit without him, let alone hook up a 30 foot camping trailer and haul it across the country. It never woulda happened.

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That’s not to mean our life wouldn’t have been happy. To the contrary, we did everything together. But now? Now I know what I am capable of. I know what happens when you lose your spouse and you have to learn how to do everything on your own. I’ve had a taste of the freedom I never would have known to seek. Mr. FixIt knows that. My adventurous spirit is one of the things that attracted him to me. He’s proud when he shares with his buddies that I am off hauling the camper on some grand adventure. Many of them are aghast and claim they NEVER would let THEIR wives go off like that. Mr. FixIt just shakes his head and laughs. 

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“You don’t LET your wife do things. You CELEBRATE her abilities and ENCOURAGE her!”

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Ohhhh, he’s a good, good man!

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I need to sit down and start making some camping reservations for us this summer. We have a busy year already with our annual trip to the beach, my cousin’s visit here, two family weddings and a trip to Colorado to see my peeps. The time just seems to fly by anymore.

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Mr. FixIt and I put the ceiling vent back up where the attic fan comes through the ceiling of the hallway. He put the light fixtures back up and taped the molding. Today we’ll paint then he can finish up the new molding around the doors and we’ll be finished. Slow and steady wins the race. The only thing is, there’s SO much to be done around here, by the time we get to the end of the list, it’ll be time to start doing things over again! 

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Big swims again today…her last swim meet of the season. 

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Go Big, Go!!!

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“Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ’s love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They’re really doing themselves a favor—since they’re already “one” in marriage.”

\nEphesians 5:25-28 MSG\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2023-02-11T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2023/02/11/a-warm-night-in-the.html", "tags": ["Camping","Love","Choices","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2023/02/06/earthly-love-isnt-perfectnbsp.html", "title": "Earthly Love Isn’t Perfect\u0026nbsp;", "content_html": "\n
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Love is grand, isn’t it? We meet someone and something stirs within us. Our curiosity is piqued. We dance around each other…no different than the mating rituals of exotic birds. Feathers fluffed strutting our stuff. We go through a pretty standard procedure of “Here’s who I am…now who are you?” Somewhere in the process, we either let go and move on or we hang on for the ride of our lives.

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It’s all so perfect when it’s new and you think that no two people could be more perfectly matched. Love is designed that way. If you approached it like a job interview or an investment strategy, it wouldn’t be nearly as much fun now, would it? We love to be in love. The thrill of the chase and the triumphant march of the conqueror is as addictive as any street drug.

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Then…real life hits the fan. He snores. She can’t cook a lick. They may decide to make babies. Or maybe the decision was made for them. Or maybe they don’t. The point being…you’d better have a good, strong foundation if you expect this grand romance to last when the shine is off the bumper.

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A lot of young people don’t make it very far in marriage. My first was fairly short. Long enough to give me my beautiful firstborn. The second lasted a whole lot longer…two decades actually. I thought it was the one for the long haul but it turned out not to be. My prize from that marriage was quirky, perky baby girl. Then Mr. Virgo came along. We were “perfect” together. We never fought. We never even raised our voices to one another. We never got to the point where it was necessary because he just up and died on me.

\n\n\n

Looking back now, I can clearly see the mistakes I’ve made along the way. So, when Mr. FixIt and I crossed paths after knowing each other since 1968, we’d both had a lot of the rough edges worn off. We became a soft landing place for each other. And we found something special. A playmate. A lover. A confidant. A best friend. A partner in everything from inside jokes to planning major purchases and running this business of life. 

\n\n\n

Putting the label of “perfect” on a marriage is a dangerous thing…especially in the age of social media comparisons. What IS perfect, anyway? Is it The Waltons? Leave it to Beaver? When Harry Met Sally or Sleepless in Seattle? Marriage isn’t Hollywood. You have to take the bitter with the sweet, just like anything else in life.

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Something remarkable happened to me a couple of months ago. I was having trouble sleeping and it was affecting every area of my life…from my memory to my bodily functions to my mood. The longer it went on, the worse it got and I was frustrated. Angry. Scared. When you’re going through rough patches, the first person you take it out on is the closest person at hand. And that person was my infinitely patient, ever so kind and gentle husband.

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I could see the hurt behind his eyes when I lashed out and it broke my heart. I hated myself for it. I’ve been in a place before when things got dark. Depression is the next stop on the angry train and I wasn’t about to go there again. I especially didn’t want to take my sweetheart on that ride.

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One evening I was searching through my old photos and came across the sweetest picture of Mr. FixIt. He was gazing into the camera with such deep love it twisted my heart and made me yearn for those early months of our relationship. So I talked to my doctor about what was bothering me and it turned out I was terribly sleep deprived. 

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We’ve made adjustments and I started taking a medicine I used a long time ago that helps me sleep and is not habit forming. Trazodone is also a mild antidepressant. Now I’m getting 6-8 hours of sleep a night, my mood is much better, my memory has improved, my anxiety is reduced, and Mr. FixIt is the beneficiary of all of the above. Two months ago, I couldn’t have dreamed of attempting this big project I’m working on. I didn’t have the bandwidth or the energy. And now? Now I’m cruising along, firing on all cylinders again. And Mr. FixIt and me? Well, were back on track and have much more fun.

\n\n\n

Too many people call it quits when they hit a bump in the road because they think a marriage has to be perfect. It doesn’t. It has to be REAL. And it really helps when you can put some fun in the mix. We may not be perfect…but we’re perfect for each other and that’s what matters most.

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Here’s my advice…when you have one nerve left and your spouse is standing on it, find a picture where there’s love in their eyes and go where that leads you. You can’t change them…but you can change how you react to them. Then ask yourself this one question… Which is more important? Being right…or being happy? You aren’t going to change each other. Just as the way to God is not easy, neither is the path toward marital fulfillment. It does take effort and due diligence. But the rewards are unimaginable.

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?

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““Don’t look for shortcuts to God. The market is flooded with surefire, easygoing formulas for a successful life that can be practiced in your spare time. Don’t fall for that stuff, even though crowds of people do. The way to life—to God!—is vigorous and requires total attention.”

\nMatthew 7:13-14 MSG\n
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#Marriage, #Happiness, #Effort

\n\n", "date_published": "2023-02-06T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2023/02/06/earthly-love-isnt-perfectnbsp.html", "tags": ["Aging","Choices","Marriage","Happiness"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2023/01/31/watching-god-supply-our-needs.html", "title": "Watching God Supply Our Needs", "content_html": "\n
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\n\n\n

The other day when I was complaining about having to cook all the time, I asked God to change my heart. Anytime my heart isn’t in the right place and I’m making myself miserable over stupid stuff, I just ask God to turn me around and show me what I’m missing. He always does. And it turns out I get in my own way a lot of the time. I think we all do to one degree or another.

\n\n\n

The last few days, I’ve really enjoyed the heck out of cooking. And I have been diving into the pantry and the freezer. Yesterday morning we had breakfast sandwiches with those bulk sausage patties I made on Sunday topped with an egg and cheese. SOOOOOO good! Midday we had a snack of tea and cookies. Then last night I baked pork chops and served them with steamed veggies and brown rice. I did kinda tip the calorie scales with some yummy country gravy on top but I didn’t make it with cream like I usually do.

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This morning I’ll crumble up some of those sausage patties and put them in the gravy and heat it up while I make homemade biscuits. That’s always a delightful taste treat. When Mr. FixIt was heading up to the WVU game on Saturday, he texted me and asked me to send his son my biscuit recipe. Now that I think about it, I sure hope he said something to him beforehand and he doesn’t think we were trying to tell him something. His son made biscuits and sausage gravy for breakfast that day but he used canned biscuits. He tried to make homemade a couple of times but he said they didn’t come out very well. I never made a biscuit that was fit to eat till I learn from Tipper at The Blind Pig and the Acorn. Now I won’t make them any other way. (Sorry, Ms. Brenda!)

\n\n\n

So, it’s becoming more noticeable that the days are getting longer now. Every day will bring us closer to spring. I have so much to get done before mowing season so I need to focus, focus, focus. Mr. FixIt has an appointment tomorrow so I’ll stay home and get some more work done. I’ve found the basement to be a bit too chilly to work in when the temperature goes down in the 30’s…no matter HOW much heat I put on down there. I tried to work on my old desktop that’s in the desk in the living room, but it’s so old it won’t connect to the wifi router. And I need the internet for this project. We don’t have any heat turned on in the office so I can’t work on that computer comfortably either. I ended up working in the Big Red Chair in the living room while Mr. FixIt watches TV. I use my noise cancelling headphones to play white noise that drowns out the TV completely.

\n\n\n

The Green Comet might be visible to us tomorrow night just in time for Mr. FixIt’s birthday! Now, I HAVE to buy some stuff for that special dinner. Mr. FixIt has requested scallops and a petite steak with fries and a veggie and I’ll make him a cake or pie for dessert. Last year I absolutely ruined his scallops by forgetting he wants butter and garlic ONLY! This year I actually wrote that down on the shopping list so I won’t forget. lol I might make that tonight but more likely on Wednesday to celebrate on the actual day. I can’t believe how fast January flew by. Tomorrow is February already!!!

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?

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“Wives, understand and support your husbands by submitting to them in ways that honor the Master. Husbands, go all out in love for your wives. Don’t take advantage of them.”

\nColossians 3:18-19 MSG\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2023-01-31T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2023/01/31/watching-god-supply-our-needs.html", "tags": ["Positive Energy","God","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2023/01/20/up-above-the-world-so.html", "title": "Up Above the World So High", "content_html": "\n
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Galistair Aurbus A330-300
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Coach Cabin
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Business Class
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As I was writing this last night, I could hear a really big jet going over us here at Marshmallow Ranch. I pulled out my phone and opened the FlightAware app to see where these folks had been. Where were they going? It was a Galistair Airbus A330-300. It’s a twin-engine wide body jet that can carry between 250-440 passengers! Cost efficient and profitable. These folks were flying out of Pittsburg and heading to Mexico City. They had only been up in the air less than half an hour and were already at about 38,000 feet. The average price of one of these bad boys in 2018 was $262.2 million. Three classes…coach, business, and a First Class that would tempt the best of us to be all bougie like.

\n\n\n

We get a lot of big jets going over us. I’m so glad I found this app because Mr. FixIt announces where all these people are heading from time to time. Outside stacking wood? You might find out that heavy roaring overhead may be heading for Istanbul or Australia or London. Maybe they took off from Dayton or Chicago, Atlanta or New York. Or Pittsburg. What takes us three hours or so to drive, took the Galistair around twenty minutes.

\n\n\n
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Business Class
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Pretty Cushy!
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Bougie First Class
\n
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The very first time I traveled alone was when I was barely twenty years old. I took a little prop plane out of Parkersburg, flew to Philadelphia, then on to JFK. I had a couple hour layover in New York, then I was gobsmacked when I got to fly in a 747 to London Heathrow. What an absolutely amazing experience! After the previous three flights in progressively larger and larger planes, the 747 felt like a flying football stadium!

\n\n\n

I wanted to soak in every minute of that experience. I flew coach, of course. But it felt like a royal palace to me. There was a real meal served…on china with real silverware. I couldn’t imagine how nice First Class must have been! There was a musician a couple of rows up in front of me. We all noticed he boarded with his guitar. Somewhere over Newfoundland, he took the guitar out as they dimmed the cabin lights and handed out pillows and blankets. Then this magic man played soft, dreamy music and the passengers settled in for an impromptu lullaby.

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I awoke somewhere around 4:00 in the morning. If you listened carefully, you could hear a whispered voice here and there, murmuring to their seat mate. I quietly lifted the window shade and caught my breath. In the midst of the darkness, a tiny fleck of light had appeared. The further east we flew, the brighter it got. Then, that light started to spread in either direction till there was a golden band of light with dark purple and blue bands above and below. 

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And, when the sun itself peeked over the horizon, well…all I can say it was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen in my unworldly life. I was dumbstruck. How often do we get to see moments that truly take our breath away? How many times are we amazed by this world we live in? When you have been at death’s door…when you have watched your spouse die before your eyes…you shut down. Then, when you begin to wake up, you never see the world the same way. You see beauty in everything. It is magical when the colors come back in your world.

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I’m not sure when I’ll get to fly again…or even if I want to. But those memories take me along for the ride whenever I wish and I can live my life all over again…albeit vicariously.

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✈️

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\n“If I ride the wings of the morning, if I dwell by the farthest oceans, even there your hand will guide me, and your strength will support me.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭139‬:‭9‬-‭10‬ ‭NLT‬‬
\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2023-01-20T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2023/01/20/up-above-the-world-so.html", "tags": ["Travel","Courage","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2023/01/04/santa-pays-attention.html", "title": "Santa Pays Attention!", "content_html": "\n
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I mentioned a while back that I wanted to take up painting again. Mr. FixIt read that…either on my FB page or on my blog. And then, Santa brought me a set of paints and some canvases! I love that he listened and remembered and helped me make a step closer to doing something that brings me joy.

\n\n\n

The paint set he bought me was lovely…but it was mostly watercolors and try as I might…they’ve never been my forte. I’ve tried oils to no avail. But acrylics and pastels are my jam. I love the fact that I can leave them alone for a time and pick right back up where I left off. And if I don’t particularly like a certain color, I can paint over it without making a muddy mess. 

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I love mixed media and landscapes and still life and just about anything without eyes. I don’t do people or animals well…try as I might. I do such an odd variety of subjects and styles. I once entered three paintings in an art show and I overheard one of the judges remark that if he didn’t know better, he would think the three paintings were done by three different artists. Perhaps they were. I tune into different parts of my psyche when I paint. I see things differently than most and it depends on the mood du jour as to how I’m going to interpret something and express it and with which medium.

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I’ve always attributed this to being a Gemini…only my “twins” are more like quadruplets. Maybe it’s ADHD. Maybe it’s where I sit on the broad spectrum of what is commonly called “autism” but it explains creatives more clearly. I’ve never been happy just doing one thing over and over and over. It bores me to tears in a hurry. So I do “this one thing” till I’ve done it to death then I move on to “another thing”.

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I have managed to reel that in a bit the last few years. After Mr. Virgo died and I downsized so drastically, I didn’t have room in my living space to keep all the accoutrements of every hobby I enjoy. Now I make a concerted effort to finish one project before I move on to another. I kind of broke my rule when I started knitting Christmas Stockings after the sweater instead of getting right back to the king sized quilt I’m making for our granddaughter’s wedding in June. I’m almost finished with the sixth or seventh stocking so today I’ll wrap that up and head to the sewing nook. That quilt isn’t going to sew itself and it needs doing now.

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The weather has given us a wonderful reprieve from the dastardly cold snap we had before the holidays. We’re back up in the 60’s for a couple of days with rain. I don’t care about the rain and gloomy grey skies when I can get a few warm days in mid winter. And the icing on the cake??? Warmer nights to go with those warmer days which means…I get to sleep in the camper!!! Monday night and last night…two lovely nights in a row in one of my happiest of happy places! “Grace!”

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Oh, to sleep snuggled under a pile of blankets in a camper listening to the rain on the roof! All this rain has the creeks roaring…an added bonus to the sounds of the night. Mr. FixIt and I went to town yesterday to run errands and we actually had lunch INSIDE a restaurant! It wasn’t terribly busy and we were in a booth somewhat protected from others. It was a lovely little island of normal and we had a great “date”! This man goes all out for me and it doesn’t go unnoticed!

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?

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“Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ’s love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They’re really doing themselves a favor—since they’re already “one” in marriage.”

\nEphesians 5:25-28 MSG\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2023-01-04T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2023/01/04/santa-pays-attention.html", "tags": ["Comfort","Marriage","Happiness"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/12/20/another-busy-day-in-busy.html", "title": "Another Busy Day in Busy Town", "content_html": "\n
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I honestly did NOT want to go to town yesterday but I had no choice. I had to go to the bank because I was having an issue with their app and they couldn’t help me over the phone. If it didn’t involve something that needed completed right away, I would have blown it off. But, it was time sensitive so, there ya go…another trip to town.

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It was bitter cold when I left bright and early. The frost was heavy on the Louisa the Lincoln’s windows. I have no idea where my window scraper is, so I waited till the heater softened the frost then wiped it away with the wipers. It was so cold, I brought out the big guns…my Canadian parka and the new L.L.Bean boots I got from my friend Janine for Christmas. I was toasty warm!

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I got to the bank and waited my turn in line at the counter in the lobby. When the cashier called me over, I promptly tripped over the rug they used to keep the floors clean and ironically…less slippery. I fell into the marble counter and jammed my right arm pretty hard. They were most apologetic and filled out an incident report…just in case it bothers me later. It’s always something, isn’t it?

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Someone tried to help me with my tech issue and as it turns out, it’s actually a glitch inside the app itself and they are trying to fix it. They have no idea how long it will take to get that corrected, so they suggested I contact the other bank I was trying to connect ma account to and see if they can connect from that end. I made the phone call on the way home and they walked me through how to do that online. 

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The bottom line of that is…I made a trip to town that I didn’t need to make because I could have taken care of it from the comfort of my big red chair. What can I say? I was already in town and Mr. FixIt thought of something he needed. I stopped at the big box store on my way home to get it and made it home by 1:00. Overall, that wasn’t a bad trip…time wise.

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I got home, settled myself in the big comfy chair, and worked on Operation Christmas Stocking 2023. I made great progress and it’s a cute one. Mr. FixIt had to go to our little town so I had him stop at the Piggly Wiggly to get some things. I am going to make a quiche today for something a little different!

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Looking at our calendar, I honestly don’t think we need to go to town at all this week. They are predicting snow and frigid temps by the end of the week. Mr. FixIt tried to get the generator started yesterday to no avail. We had it running this past summer so it should start. He has some trouble with his hands since his strokes, so if he can’t get it started tomorrow, I’ll go out and give it a pull.

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Sometimes you have to tag team chores to get them done. You each have your strengths in a relationship, and time often changes those roles. You have to learn to adapt in order to make things easier. A burden shared is a burdened halved. My memory takes me back to that long, cold winter with the horrendous snowstorms after Mr. Virgo died. When I was left to do everything on my own. Thank God I had wonderful neighbors who helped out with some of the heavy lifting. 

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Tomorrow is the Winter Solstice!!! From now on, the days get longer and the nights get shorter. It won’t be noticeable at first, but there will come a day when we think…hmmmm, it’s not getting dark till X:XX!!! I love that and it gives me hope!

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I’ll never forget the morning I woke up and heard a small engine running out in front of my house. Wrapping my robe close around me, I tiptoed out to the front door and peered out through the sidelight window. There was my neighbor with his brand new snow blower, clearing off nearly three feet of snow on my driveway and front sidewalk! 

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Believe me, I know how incredibly blessed I am to have Mr. FixIt in my life…my helper, my love. But I still can conjure up that feeling of emptiness and desperation I felt that first Christmas alone. What a long, dark, and lonely time that was. If you are feeling this acute loss this holiday season, please know my heart is with you and you are not alone, dear ones. Even though it feels like it, you are not alone in your suffering. 

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God weeps with you and for you….as do many of us here.

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?❤️‍??

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“fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

\nIsaiah 41:10 ESV\n
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#Busy, #Holidays, #Errands

\n\n", "date_published": "2022-12-20T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/12/20/another-busy-day-in-busy.html", "tags": ["Family","Holiday","Marriage","Home"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/12/11/the-man-makes-cookies.html", "title": "The Man Makes Cookies", "content_html": "\n
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Mr. FixIt’s Famous Peanut Butter Blossoms! I have no idea how he makes them…it’s magic!

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I don’t particularly care for the big box store. I also don’t particularly care for the shopping online opportunity that offers me cheaper prices and convenience. I don’t care for their business practices. I don’t care for inferior products made in Chinese sweatshops. But…I’m now officially a senior citizen living in the boonies on a fixed income. Gone are the days of just buying whatever my little heart desires. 

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Call it maturity. Call it enlightenment. Call it lack of choices. Whatever it is…it is what it is and I won’t make myself feel bad for doing what I have to do to keep every penny I can and make it work for me. That being said, I made the trip to town to a vastly overpacked big box store to get some things. 

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I was fully prepared to buy some cheap holiday fabric and make a few drawstring gift bags, but once I priced the fabric and figured in my time, I was less inclined to think that was the cheaper route. I went back into the “Sparkle Department” and found some large drawstring bags that were really cute and just a little over $2 each. That worked for me and I bought what I needed.

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Mr. FixIt asked me on my way out the door to bring home some creamy peanut butter. This is a fun feud we have every year. I make my peanut butter cookies with super chunky peanut butter. It adds interest by way of texture. I like chunky. He likes smooth. I have a monstrous jar of chunky peanut butter in the pantry, but it just will not do for Mr. FixIt’s Famous Peanut Butter Blossoms. 

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I ragged him about this incessantly the last few years. I wouldn’t eat his cookies. Because…I like chunky! It became a matter of principle. I made my own with the chunky and that is just the way it was. No problem. Then….

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I tasted his cookies.

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Darn it.

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They were freaking AWESOME! 

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Power struggles. We all do them in relationships…to one extent or another. I’ll never forget the first time I tasted his cookies and had to do the whole mea culpa thing. And you know what he said? Nothing. He just smiled and gave me a big ol’ hug. He’s the best guy in the world for me. He gives me all the rope in the world I need to hang myself, then wraps me up in his big bear hugs and loves me anyway.

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So, when he asked for the jar of creamy peanut butter yesterday, I turned to him with my brightest smile. And, with a twinkle in my eye, I said…”You’re such a harda$$!” And we laughed and laughed. 

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He’ll be baking cookies today!

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?

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\n

“He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.”

\nProverbs 18:22 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2022-12-11T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/12/11/the-man-makes-cookies.html", "tags": ["Fun","Baking","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/11/14/communication.html", "title": "Communication", "content_html": "\n
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I’ve been monitoring my social media usage the last few weeks. With the lead up to the election, I found my stress level rising. Add the new roof and trying to get the a-frame camper back from the shop and getting everything buttoned up for winter and my stress alarms were bing-bonging all over the place. 

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I have to say, during the last couple of elections, I let my better angels take a back seat and opened my mouth in ways and at times I shouldn’t have. It cost me friendships that I held dear and I’m saddened by that. I know it cost me readers and I’m sure glad you stuck it out with me. Going into the midterms, I made a concerted effort to keep away from the third rail and it made my life much easier.

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I always told my girls, “You cannot possibly live long enough to make every mistake out there, so try to learn from the mistakes of others.” I’ve been watching a major social media outlet as it crashes and burns. Its CEO has been lashing out and generally making an a$$ of himself and wondering why it’s all falling apart. And, while that’s been happening, I’ve witnessed people saying things that leave me shaking my head and wondering…did they kiss their mama with that mouth?

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I’ve been following Susan David, Ph.D. (@SusanDavid_PhD) on Twitter for some time. She wrote the #1 Wall Street Journal Bestseller…Emotional Agility. I have not read the book yet as I still have difficulty concentrating on reading. Dr. David is a Psychologist at Harvard, and a TED Speaker. Her tweets are little mini counseling sessions where she gives you something to ponder.

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I was scrolling my Twitter feed yesterday morning when her tweet showed up.

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“You may be right…but is your response serving you?”

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That one stopped me in my tracks and really made me think. That’s something we can use in just about any scenario. The first thing I thought of when I read that was, “Do I have to correct my husband every single time he makes a mistake?” I don’t…but I feel like I do that way too often. And Dr. David is absolutely correct. I may be right…but does it serve me? And the answer is no.

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We’ve all seen the hurt behind the eyes of someone we love when we make a cutting remark out of frustration or anger or exhaustion. I hate that. I want to keep those longing looks I used to get when he thought I walked on water. Ok…we can’t do that either. Real life kicks in at some point and two independent adults living in close quarters are bound to bump heads at one time or another.

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I remember when Mr. Virgo was alive. We never had an argument. About anything. At the time, I thought that was marital bliss. Since then I’ve learned, that was anger suppression. We probably should have argued…or at least expressed our displeasure when we felt it. And I don’t think we did that. He passed away before any real damage was done from that suppression so I’ll never know how it would have played out in our relationship. But I have an idea it wouldn’t have gone well.

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Mr. FixIt and I have no problem laying things out on the table. We don’t fight, but we have spirited conversations from time to time. We’ve walked away and gone to our corners to cool off then come back together and speak more rationally. This is different than any relationship I’ve ever had and I think it’s because we’re older, more mature, and just too tired to make a big deal of crap that’s not important.

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It’s funny the things we thought were such a big deal in our thirties and forties just…aren’t anymore. I wish I would have known this when I was younger. I could have saved myself a lot of angst. I didn’t have a very healthy role model in my parents’ relationship to learn how to BE in one of my own. I, like most people, learned from trial and error. Like Maya Angelou said, “We do what we know and when we know better, we do better.”

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At least…that’s the goal.

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?

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“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

\n1 Corinthians 13:4-7 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2022-11-14T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/11/14/communication.html", "tags": ["Forgiveness","Aging","Choices","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/10/28/more-hustle.html", "title": "More Hustle", "content_html": "\n
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Every day there seems to be something pressing that needs to be done. Yesterday we went to town for an appointment and finally got our Bivalent Covid Vaccines. We picked out the shingles we want for the new roof. We had dinner out. We walked a mile in the mall. Picked up a prescription, and hightailed it home. As we were leaving around 1:30 in the afternoon, I flipped on the back porch light and sighed. I know as sure as I know my name…there’s no such thing as a quick trip to town and we’d surely be home long after dark. We were.

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We need to go in either today or tomorrow to get the shingles and the other supplies so the boys can get started on the roof. We’re pushing it now to get it done before the snow falls. There are still things that need to be done to put the camper to bed for the season. There are some wooden cabinets out by the garage that are covered with an old tarp that ripped so we need to replace that, too. 

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I did get to sit with my tea yesterday morning. There was an early morning chill in the air so I wore the little capelet my friend Pat knitted and gave to me when her store closed. It’s perfect to just throw around your shoulders when knitting or reading. I didn’t even pick my knitting up yesterday. I told Mr. FixIt I want to finish knitting the sleeves on this sweater so I can get back to the quilt for the grandkids’ wedding. I’m really trying to stick to my commitment of “one project at a time.”

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The leaves are falling in earnest now. The large leaves of the sycamore trees out front float straight down like little bronze parachutes in the autumn sunlight. The squirrels rustle around burying nuts at the base of trees sounding all the while like a herd of bison zipping through the leaves. Turkey vultures circle silently above, looking furtively left and right for some tasty roadkill. The red shouldered hawks scream as they zoom across the far field hunting…always hunting.

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The grass is brittle and dry now. Our mowing days are over for a few months till the earth awakens again in spring. This is the time for us to rustle around like the squirrels getting all the work done before winter takes us into hibernation. The blessed hibernation I am looking forward to with knitting needles and sewing machine and baking pans at the ready.

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I can’t find the electric blanket for our bed anywhere. Where on earth could I have put it?

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?

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“And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.”

\nGalatians 6:9 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2022-10-28T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/10/28/more-hustle.html", "tags": ["Gratitude","Farm Life","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/10/23/the-dastardly-deed.html", "title": "The Dastardly Deed", "content_html": "\n
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About a year ago, we bought a beautiful set of Ninja pans from Kohl’s on a really super deal. I’ve never had a great set of pans. Other than my cast iron, most of what I have ever cooked on have been cheap “buy a pan here and there” kind of cookware. Nonstick pans are notorious for flaking and scratching whether you follow the directions or not. But this set? Ohhhh, this set has been primo and I love them.

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I’m really careful when I use them. I never use a metal utensil. I follow the directions to a T and never use nonstick cooking spray. I use very little oil and then it’s high quality. I was popping the waffles in the toaster yesterday (my leftover homemade waffles…not the mass produced variety) when I turned around and there was my beloved…spraying my precious skillet with “Crap-in-a-Can”! Gahhhhhh!!!!

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Please keep in mind…I’ve cut out caffeine and coffee in general the last few weeks. I hadn’t even had my decaf tea yet. So…there’s that. But I let out a squeal and a bloody “Noooooo!” that made Mr. FixIt jump a foot. What I thought was perhaps a momentary lapse of memory was apparently something that had been going on for months.

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Bless his heart.

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He used the spray. A dastardly deed! And…as the package insert said it would…the egg stuck. Apparently from not using ENOUGH spray, I’ve been told! So, I (eventually) let it go because it’s just a skillet. But it’s been a really GOOD skillet, darn it.

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We were just finishing breakfast when the former Mrs. FixIt called and asked if my sweetheart could take her to pick up some shelves she bought. She doesn’t have a truck. He asked if We had anything going and I said, “No…go help!” So off he went. I cleaned up the kitchen and made a batch of cornmeal mush so we have some to fry up on our camping trip.

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I spent the afternoon watching my favorite guilty pleasure…Appalachian cooking videos with Tipper Pressley on her YouTube channel “Celebrating Appalachia.” I knitted a little and chatted on the phone. When I got hungry, I decided to make a fried egg sandwich. But….the skillet! Argh!

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I decided to just see what I could do with it. I ran some hot soapy water and washed the pan thoroughly. I dried it well, then set it on medium to preheat. I cracked the egg and dropped it into the skillet…no oil, no butter, no spray…and hoped for the best. And, sure enough…that thing didn’t stick! Eureka!

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Mr. FixIt called on his way home to see if I needed anything. He told me he was bringing me some fried chicken livers from Miller’s Chicken in Athens. I told him he was no longer in the doghouse over the frying pan debacle because I got it cleaned up and it works like it’s supposed to. (We had long since apologized for the pre-tea tempers.) And, the chicken livers were SOOOOO good!

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The weather was warm yesterday and if you are from around these parts, you know that the first warm day after the first cold spell brings out those nasty vermin we all love to hate. The Asian Lady Beetle. Between them and the Stink Bugs, it is a scourge that honestly takes part of the fun out of fall.

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I cannot believe God actually told Noah to add Stink Bugs and Asian Lady Beetles to the ark! What was He thinking???

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Hmmmmm…maybe Naamah caught Noah fouling her cookpot so she slipped them in as revenge!

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?

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“Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!”

\nPsalm 34:8 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2022-10-23T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/10/23/the-dastardly-deed.html", "tags": ["Farm Life","Marriage","Cooking"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/10/19/rough-nights-and-great-days.html", "title": "Rough Nights and Great Days", "content_html": "\n
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The first few years of my grief journey were filled with really rough nights and marginal days. There were nights I held the side of the mattress and willed myself to make it to morning with my sanity held somewhere near intact. It was so incredibly difficult, but then morning would come and the anxiety and fear would fade into the background a bit…only to return with a vengeance at sundown.

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With time…and hard work…the really hard nights became bad nights and the days became better. The really hard nights faded eventually and I only had a bad night on occasion. Monday was one of those nights. The day had been stressful then just before bed, I found out someone I love dearly was unwell. And I ate too late. Bad combo and I just didn’t feel well.

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I woke up yesterday with a massive headache and a stuffy head and I was afraid I’d picked up “a bug”, but…with a little movement and a little caffeine, I shoved the icky aside and moved on with my day. Mr. FixIt and I went out to the farm to make sure the heat was turned on and the pump was working. Last year the pump froze and it was an absolute mess to fix. We wanted to preempt that scenario by wrapping the pump and tank in heat tape to keep it from freezing. 

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I lit the little gas stove in the bathroom to keep the pipes from freezing in there. And the furnace was already on so the house was perfectly warm. I turned off the dehumidifiers for the season, swept the floors, checked the mail, and we’re all good. I’ll get out there for a little R&R one of these days.

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We got home in late afternoon. The sun sets earlier and earlier now. And it’s pretty darned chilly. I decided to open a jar of the vegetable beef soup I canned this year. I purposefully canned it rather bland so I could season it to my liking when I heat it up. I added a variety of seasonings, including just a dash of smoked chipotle pepper for a little zing. Oh, my gosh! It was SO good served with garlic Texas toast!

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We have an errand in town today and I am certainly hoping it won’t turn into an all day ordeal. We may get our Covid booster while we’re at it.

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We’re a good team.

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?

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“And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works,”

\nHebrews 10:24 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2022-10-19T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/10/19/rough-nights-and-great-days.html", "tags": ["Grief","Growth","Choices","Farm Life","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/10/16/a-super-sunny-saturday.html", "title": "A Super Sunny Saturday", "content_html": "\n
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Taking a break for a s’more!

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Friday night was the first night I’ve slept in the house in a month. Our little home on wheels has beckoned me to “camp” in our field under a canopy of stars…even when the temperatures hovered near freezing. The only time I can talk Mr. FixIt into sleeping in the camper with me is when we are actually…you know…CAMPING. At a campground. I don’t blame him. He has a bad back and the mattress in the camper is brutal. However, now he has no excuse!

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The new mattress is here!

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After opening up the box and following the directions to allow the mattress to open up and restore its original shape, we had to leave it alone for 24 hours. I went out yesterday to dress the bed and clean the camper to get it ready for the last few days we’ll have the chance to sleep out here. Mr. FixIt promised he would come out here to sleep last night. It will give him a chance to try out the new mattress and see what he thinks of it.

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It was sunny and warm yesterday. After I got the camper cleaned up, I stretched out on the bed to try out the mattress myself. I think I’m going to like it! The sun was shining in the big curbside window and it was so warm and cozy in there. I was just about to doze off when Mr. FixIt called and wanted to know if I’d like to go out for pizza. Oh, heck yeah! I love when he “asks me out.” One should never stop dating their life partner. I want him to always know I’d choose him over and over and over again and he feels the same way.

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We went for a little detour on our way home and caught some great views. Unfortunately, there was quite a bit of traffic on that little two-lane because of a Harvest Festival at the fair grounds so I couldn’t really stop to take pictures save for this beautiful white-faced bull. If we’d had jackets with us, we might have stopped to see what was going on at the fairgrounds, but it was getting pretty chilly. We came home instead.

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We saw this big handsome fella while we were driving out the backroads last evening.

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As I was laying here writing this, a lovely barred owl started calling in the sycamore trees along the hedgerow. I love their vocalizations. 

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“Who-cooks-for-you? Who-cooks-for-yooooooou?” 

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The other night we were driving home and a whippoorwill flew right out in front of me. I was so sure I hit it and it just made me sick. They are becoming more and more rare in our area. It saddened me to think I may have hurt it. 

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I saw a “wooly worm” in the field yesterday afternoon. Old wives tales say their coloration predicts the severity of the winter ahead. Allegedly, the more black there is, the worse the winter is supposed to be. This little guy said “Winter will come in like a lion and out like a lamb.” At the same time, the same variety of caterpillar told my friend (just 20 miles away) it would be a harsh winter because the coat was solid black. 

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There are some “old wive’s tails” I totally believe in. For instance, if you see the underside of the leaves showing on a hot summer afternoon, you should get ready for rain because it’s on its way. That’s science…heat rises and when moist heat rises sharply, thunderstorms and rain develop. But wooly worms? Yeah…the jury’s still out on that.

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Tractor Supply had some beautiful mums on sale!

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Mr. FixIt bowls tonight. I’ll take the camper up today to empty the tanks, then I can winterize it. I told my sweetie I’ll go out to the farm to mow sometime this week and I’ll stay for a couple of days. Hunting season is coming soon so there will be people in and out of there and I won’t get a chance to stay again for a while. 

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?

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“Prepare your work outside; get everything ready for yourself in the field, and after that build your house.”

\nProverbs 24:27 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2022-10-16T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/10/16/a-super-sunny-saturday.html", "tags": ["Love","Change","Farm Life","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/10/13/the-great-spangled-fritillary-and.html", "title": "The Great Spangled Fritillary and Happy Anniversary!", "content_html": "\n
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Wow, was yesterday crazy busy! I’m trying to use up the food out in the camper…the lazy way. Rather than pack it all up, carry it inside, and put it all away…I’m bringing my sweetheart out to the camper every morning for a little dining “al fresco”. So far it’s been great! We’ve been eating up the croissant breakfast sandwiches and tea. We’re going to have to have bacon and blueberry pancakes soon. Maybe we’ll do that today for our anniversary! Four years…can you believe it???

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Back to yesterday. Once breakfast was done, we hit the ground running. Mr. FixIt dug up all the elephant ear bulbs on Monday and let them dry in the sun for a day. Then he trimmed back the stringy roots on them and tucked them in a bin lined with a plastic bag. He didn’t close the bag or anything. They need to get air but remain cool, dark, and dry till spring. 

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Once that was done, we took the cover off the pergola for the winter. I put the cushions away in the building and stacked the chairs. Once we get a couple of boards replaced on the pool deck, we can lash down the deck furniture to keep things from blowing around out there in case we have bad storms.

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Next up was cutting up the maple tree we took down yesterday. I swear…I’ve used a monster sized chainsaw in my life. We used to cut our own wood. Maybe it was because Mr. FixIt was watching me carefully to make sure I didn’t get hurt, but I was all thumbs. I got the chain caught twice…once really bad when the tree trunk rolled over on the chain bar. Mr. FixIt said a bad word. I don’t blame him…I might have said a few myself!

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Once we regained our zen and I found the rhythm, things moved along just fine. We piled the limbs in the back of Mr. FixIt’s pickup and made two trips over to the burn pile. We are going to have one heck of a bonfire one of these days! We cleaned up our work area and I ran the riding mower over the fallen leaves to mulch them up. Then we carried the two tubs of elephant ear bulbs down to the basement.

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In the middle of all that, we stopped for a break and I made some broccoli cheese soup…sans biscuits. I didn’t have it in me to bake, too. The soup was wonderful and there’s enough leftover to have more today. We are supposed to get rain all day today so I am hoping to have a quiet “inside day” with my sweetheart. We’ve just been go-go-going for what seems like all year. We still have so much to do before it gets really cold in a few days.

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I went out to the camper to get something yesterday afternoon and there was a Great Spangled Fritillary butterfly sitting on the arm of my chair. It was flexing its wings and they looked odd. I think the back pair are malformed or under-developed. If you look at it compared to one on Google images, it’s really apparent. I never did see if it could fly…I had work to do. I hope it went on it’s way. This is why I want to turn part of our fields into native habitat for the flora and fauna to live the way they’re supposed to.

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???

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“Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men,”

\nColossians 3:23 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2022-10-13T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/10/13/the-great-spangled-fritillary-and.html", "tags": ["Love","Aging","Be Joyful!","Marriage","In the Kitchen"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/10/12/paul-bunyans-got-nuthin-on.html", "title": "Paul Bunyan’s Got Nuthin’ on Me!", "content_html": "\n
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We’re knocking out the chores here at Marshmallow Ranch. When I moved to Mr. FixIt’s place in November of 2017, there was a maple sapling in the flower bed in front of the kitchen window. It wasn’t very big…maybe an inch or a little more diameter. I kinda liked it because the birds would swoop in and then on the feeder. And in the fall, the leaves turned yellow…like aspen trees in Colorado.

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Fast forward five years and that sucker had grown higher than the house with a trunk at least six inches across. There are also three cedar trees out there. All of them are beginning to hang over and make contact with the roof over the family room and that’s creating a problem. They’re just way too close to the house so they have to go.

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We don’t do a huge amount of arboreal work, but from time to time, we need to take something out. When we ran across a deal on a small 14” electric chainsaw, we figured that would be good enough for the kinds of projects we have around here. A large tree limb fell at our rental house this spring so we had to cut that up. Later in the summer, another one came down and we used it again.

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This was the first time we’ve really used this chainsaw here at home and we faced a couple of issues. First, maple is fairly hard wood. It took a LOT of cutting to get it to the point of coming down. And second, the chain had gotten dull and it made the job a lot harder than it should have been.

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When I was a young wife and mother and lived in the mountains of Colorado, our log home was on two acres a few miles out of town. We cut and split our own firewood because we were poor. I used a huge Stihl saw that made quick work of the soft woods we were cutting. As I worked away on that maple with that teeny tiny little toy chainsaw yesterday, I was getting frustrated because I know what a BIG rig can do. 

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I suggested we go rent a real chainsaw. My sweet Mr. FixIt reminded me we have a chainsaw…it’s right here…and all we need is a new chain. He’s right of course. I was just hot and tired and frustrated and wanted the job done as fast as possible. Instead, we ran to town, bought TWO replacement chains, then got dinner and sat by the river watching the sunset. 

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I may not have won the Great Chainsaw Debate…but I won a nice evening and a nice meal with a nice view and my BEST GUY. That trumps any ol’ chainsaw, any ol’ time!

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?

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““For there is hope for a tree, if it be cut down, that it will sprout again, and that its shoots will not cease.”

\nJob 14:7 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2022-10-12T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/10/12/paul-bunyans-got-nuthin-on.html", "tags": ["Gratitude","Farm Life","Marriage","Frustration"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/09/17/mr-and-mrs-fixit-get.html", "title": "Mr. and Mrs. FixIt Get to Work", "content_html": "\n
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Yesterday was a FixIt kinda day around Marshmallow Ranch. After a yummy country breakfast, Mr. FixIt had to replace the innards of the toilet in the main bathroom. We had a…ummmm…vibrant conversation in the plumbing aisle at Menard’s on Wednesday. I was firmly convinced that all the toilet needed was a flapper valve. He was equally firmly convinced it needed that filler thing-a-ma-jig. He was trying desperately to make me understand that the reason water was going in the bowl was because the filler valve wasn’t shutting off so the water was going down the overflow pipe. 

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I am the first one to admit I am wrong…on the rare occasions that I am. lol However….when I went in to survey his work, there was the old flapper valve in the trash. I’m not saying maybe I was right. What I’m saying is, maybe when he got in there he thought he might as well fix everything. He always does exceptional work. And I’m always up in his business because I have this insatiable curiosity and I love to learn. Besides, it’s terribly important that I learn how to do all the things in case I’m left to do them alone again. 

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While my counterpart was working on the plumbing inside, I was working on the plumbing in the new camper. I needed to get into that hot water heater and try to get rid of the rotten egg smell. I emptied the tank, but I wasn’t strong enough to take the pressure release valve off. Mr. FixIt dropped what he was doing and came right out to take it off for me. Once that was done, I replaced the plug on the hot water tank and poured about a gallon and a half of white vinegar in and added water to dilute it a little. It needs to sit at least eight hours and it should just eat up the calcium deposits in the tank. I’ll drain it and flush it several times today to get any sediment out. And that ought to do it.

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Oh, and by the way, I stopped using the fluorouracil about five days ago to give my skin a little break and it’s healing up nicely. It’s as smooth as a baby’s bottom! I can’t wait to see what the new skin feels and looks like when it’s all healed.

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I had a chance to knit a little in between jobs and the new sweater is coming along nicely. I brought my knitting out with me to the camper last night and enjoyed the night sounds while I got a few more rows done. My knitting friend Gail told me about something super cool that I just had to find. It’s called a “Raglan Knitting Wheel”. Copyrighted in 1969, it was developed by a professional knitting teacher and it is amazing. Here is a blog post about it that I found.  

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I think we’ll need to mow today here at home and tomorrow out at the farm. We leave to go camping for three days on Monday. I told Mr. FixIt I want to camp as much as possible to make up for lost time. He’s such a sport…always ready to have some fun. He gets to go fishing this time!

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?

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“…A time to tear down and a time to build up.”

\nEcclesiastes 3:3 NLT\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2022-09-17T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/09/17/mr-and-mrs-fixit-get.html", "tags": ["Camping","Farm Life","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/09/03/the-highs-and-lows-of.html", "title": "The Highs and Lows of a Day", "content_html": "\n
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I woke up super early yesterday and decided to whip up a batch of biscuits. I made my coffee and took two piping hot biscuits with butter and homemade jams and headed for the pool deck to watch the morning sun come over the hill. I brought you along on a FB Live if you want to catch it. You can see the morning fog in the trees. It was delightful, even though the dew was dripping on me from the pergola.

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Mr. FixIt was still snoozing so I went downstairs and started sewing on the quilt. Things were going great for a couple of hours but then I started feeling really hot and within moments I was sick. I seem to have become sensitive to my morning coffee which is a real bummer as I am a coffee hound. I have been burning the candle at both ends this week and haven’t slept well so went back to bed and slept till 2:00 in the afternoon. When I got up, I felt much better.

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I took some 7UP and soda crackers, just in case, and went back down to the sewing nook and got several blocks put together. I had to stop and rip some seams out of the first three because I didn’t put them together quite right. I ended up hanging the first block on the fabric board behind my sewing machine as a guide. Once I did that, I didn’t have a problem putting them together correctly.

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Around 4:30, Mr. FixIt came down and asked if I could help with a project. A couple of years ago, we finished remodeling the bathroom off the master bedroom. This summer, it has sprung a leak around the exhaust pipe. It did that once before and Mr. FixIt got up there and nailed the rubber gasket down around it and that fixed the small leak. But this week, it started leaking with a vengeance. 

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The Offending Leak

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Now, you know my sweetheart had a couple of small strokes in 2020 and his balance is forever changed by that. He does great, he works hard and he can do just about anything, but climbing up a ladder and going up on a roof is NOT happening. We have boys, but they were working yesterday and it’s supposed to rain all weekend. So…I’m the next best thing. Mr. FixIt said I may not want to do it and if I didn’t, we’d work something out. I told him I’d have a look.

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Stupid Human Tricks

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The first thing I did was say a prayer. A BIG prayer. Then I crossed myself for good measure…in case Mr. Virgo was watching. I know God was…and all my legion of guardian angels it takes to keep my adventurous butt safe.

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The first time I climbed up the ladder, I asked if we could change the angle so the ascent would be less steep. I came down and we repositioned the ladder. The second time I climbed up, I didn’t like that there wasn’t enough ladder at the top so that I’d feel more comfortable stepping onto the roof. I came back down and we extended the ladder another rung. This time I went up and, after just a few moments of hesitation and evaluating where to put my foot, etc., I stepped confidently on the roof and made my way to the offending pipe.

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I had a rope tied around my waist and pulled up the battery powered caulking gun. Mr. FixIt tossed up the hammer and a bag of roofing nails. I proceeded to nail down the rubber flashing and caulked the heck out of that thing. I had rubber gloves on and I smeared the black goo into all the seams of the shingles as well as the top of the rubber gasket where it looked dry and aging. If that thing leaks now, I’d be really surprised. 

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I lowered the caulking gun back down over the edge and tossed the hammer after making sure Mr. FixIt and the cat were nowhere near. Mr. FixIt held on to the ladder with a death grip and, using the top of the extension, I easily held on and stepped around with my sturdy work boots. I was back down in record time. It was still pretty hot up there and the ball of my hand is red from using it to lift myself up and down. I only got a little of the black goo on me so now we’ll wait and see how it does in the rain.

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The offending pipe…caulked within an inch of its life!

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Mr. FixIt beamed when I came down the ladder. I know he is so proud of me when I do things like this. He thanks me profusely and tells me I do a good job. That means a lot to me. Losing Mr. Virgo so suddenly has taught me I need to know how to do things around here…anywhere, really. I’m happy to help and to push my boundaries to see what I am still capable of. I didn’t feel unsafe and the pitch of that roof is so low, it’s nearly flat. I would NEVER get up on a steep pitched roof. And hopefully, I won’t have to get back up on this one. But I know I can…at least for the time being.

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I remember when my grandma broke her first hip. The doctor asked my aunt if she had ANY idea what her mother was doing at the time. My aunt allowed she did not. Turns out, grandma had tied a rope around her waist and tied the other end to a tree. She was going to have my uncle cut down the tree and she wanted to “make sure that tree didn’t go down into the creek and block it up.” Well, as luck would have it, the rope broke before the tree was felled and she hit the ground, breaking her hip. It’s a darned good thing because that tree would have whipped her down with it! So, see? I get this craziness honest!

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Once I got down from the roof, I went right back down to the sewing machine and worked for another couple of hours. Like I told you the other day…Step Four on this quilt is going to be the most complicated and time consuming of them all so I just have to plug along and be happy with progress.

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?

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“Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain.”

\n1 Corinthians 15:58 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2022-09-03T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/09/03/the-highs-and-lows-of.html", "tags": ["Prayer","Aging","Farm Life","Marriage","Control"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/08/24/mr-fixit-to-the-rescue.html", "title": "Mr. FixIt to the Rescue!", "content_html": "\n
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Mr. FixIt was still reading the news in bed when I left to go knit yesterday morning. I stopped and picked up my coffee, found a good parking spot, and headed in to visit with my knitting crew. It was a bittersweet morning, but we exchanged contact information and vowed to try to find another venue for our gatherings. Pat, the store owner, gifted the members of the knitting group with a lovely goody bag with yarn, a knitted piece, a cute dishtowel, a pattern book, and some notions. What a sweet gift none of us were expecting.

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We knitted till mid-afternoon then I ran an errand and headed home. Mr. FixIt went to town to pull the tomato plants and bring the stakes home and he wasn’t back yet. So, I jumped on the riding mower and got to work. When he got home, he started up the weed eater then the push mower. I stopped at around 4:30 to fix supper.

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For some reason, I have been thinking about something Mom used to cook all the time. Hamburger gravy. Mom usually served it over toast or mashed potatoes…and sometimes refrigerator biscuits. I used to use tube biscuits a long time ago. I’ve tried over and over to get my homemade biscuits just right and…even with Miss Brenda Gantt’s Buttermilk Biscuit videos…I still couldn’t perfect them.

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As I was knitting on Sunday evening, I watched YouTube videos about Appalachian foodways and found one on foolproof biscuits. Tipper Pressley writes the blog “Blind Pig and the Acorn” and her YouTube Channel is “Celebrating Appalachia”. She tells a story about trying to learn how to make good biscuits when she was a new bride. She was finally given a recipe that was…literally…foolproof. 

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You can watch Tipper make these biscuits by following this link.

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Tipper uses White Lily Self-Rising Flour and says you don’t even need to write this recipe down. It has to be self-rising or you’ll need to add 1/4tsp. salt and 1 1/2tsp. baking powder to every level cup of all purpose flour if that’s all you have. You use two parts flour and one part heavy whipping cream. That’s it. I used two cups of self-rising flour and one cup heavy whipping cream. Stir it with a fork till it just comes together, scoop it out on a lightly floured counter top, fold it twice then pat it down with your hands till it’s maybe 3/4” thick. Cut it out with a 2” biscuit cutter and bake in a 425° oven for 12 minutes. 

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These were the best biscuits I’ve ever had. I liked them so much better than the ones made with buttermilk and Crisco. (Sorry, Miss Brenda!) I had the ground beef crumbled. fried, drained and set aside. I mixed up the gravy and put the biscuits in the oven at about the same time. Once the gravy was done, I added the ground beef and as soon as those biscuits came out of the oven, I broke a couple open in the bottom of a bowl and ladled on the piping hot deliciousness I remembered from my childhood.

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Mr. FixIt and I watched an old rerun of Andy Griffith while we ate and I’m telling you…I think I felt my mom smiling down on me. I know my grandma was because there’s nothing she loved more in this world than a perfect biscuit to sop her gravy up with!

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As soon as we’d finished eating, I hopped back on the tractor and was almost finished when I looked down and there was some weird looking piece of metal sticking out from under the mower deck. I immediately turned off the mower and went to get Mr. FixIt. It turned out to be a piece of trim inside the front edge of the mower deck that helps to reinforce it. The metal was already bent and not salvageable so he figured we could just cut it off.

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First, we had to figure out how to get the mower up on ramps. Mr. FixIt bent the piece back so it wouldn’t puncture the front tire. I couldn’t drive forward because the piece of metal kept sticking in the ground. So, I backed the mower to the driveway and we ran it up on the ramps we use when we’re changing the oil. We got the saws-all and my sweetheart had that thing cut off in less than a minute so I could finish up the mowing before dark.

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And that’s how our work day ended at 8:00 last night. I was super glad to have that job finished. Now, I can clean up the kitchen and I’m free to go to the farm or just sit here at home and knit to my heart’s content for a little bit. I took some more photos yesterday morning. The flowers are so pretty…what few we have.

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?

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“The hand of the diligent will rule, while the slothful will be put to forced labor.”

\nProverbs 12:24 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2022-08-24T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/08/24/mr-fixit-to-the-rescue.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","West Virginia","Farm Life","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/08/05/never-too-busy-to-be.html", "title": "Never Too Busy To Be Kind", "content_html": "\n
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I knew yesterday would be busy. I had two doctor’s appointments…one with my regular health care provider and the other with the endocrinologist. It’s been six months since I had the second parathyroid surgery and I’m actually feeling much better. My calcium is down to a level I haven’t seen in years, my Vitamin D is in the normal range, yet my parathyroid hormone is still somewhat elevated. The biggest relief is the deep bone pain is gone. That’s because my body isn’t trying to eat the calcium in my bones. Not as bad as it was, anyway. I got a relatively clean bill of health with followup appointments scheduled.

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When I was finally finished with the appointments, I called up my sweetheart to see if he’d like to meet me for dinner. We went to the only restaurant in town that I’ve deemed to serve passable…if not truly authentic…Mexican food. We haven’t eaten there since before the pandemic began, so I was really looking forward to it. We even decided to eat indoors. We wore our masks in and were seated away from others in a booth that offered even more protection.

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I was a little disappointed at the rushed approach by our server. She spoke little English, and from the little bit of Spanish I was able to conjure up, apparently didn’t speak that either. We did ok and ordered our food, but she didn’t give us enough time to peruse the menu and I didn’t feel like trying to make her understand we preferred not to be rushed. The chips and salsa were great. The guacamole was wet and bland. The sweet tea had that velvety smooth quality that takes me back to my Aunt Dixie’s table.

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Mr. FixIt ordered the Seafood Chimichanga. It was served with a generous portion of white rice with what looked like Veg-All in it. There was also a very small amount of salad on the plate. He was almost through his dish before he found a lone shrimp. I ordered the Taco Salad. The tortilla bowl was about half the size of what you used to get and the meat had no seasoning. I was so disappointed.

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“Shrinkflation” is occurring everywhere now, it seems. We stopped at Sam’s yesterday for a soda and they’ve started using smaller cups for the same price. Everyone is out to protect their bottom line. What this shows me is how incredibly spoiled we have become in this country. The sense of entitlement stuns me. 

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We have lived through several seminal events in the last sixty-nine years. The Cuban Missile Crisis, the assassination of President Kennedy, wars, recessions, 9/11…all events that led to “market corrections”. I told Mr. FixIt from the very beginning…we are going to feel the effects of the pandemic for a long, long time. We are only just beginning to see some of what’s to come.

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We are a resilient people when we set our minds to it. Before spending money on outrageous vacations or cars or whatever, it would behoove us to use a lot more discretion in our finances. This is a turning point in time. I believe we can find ourselves again and bring truth and kindness and love into our lives. Anger is the demon’s seed.

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I will always believe this.

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?

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“Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.”

\nJames 1:19-20 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2022-08-05T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/08/05/never-too-busy-to-be.html", "tags": ["Health","Kindness","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/07/31/back-to-mr-fixit.html", "title": "Back to Mr. FixIt", "content_html": "\n
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My poor sweetie has played second fiddle for two weeks while Little was here. We did things together…sure. But he had to share and he’s not used to that. We drove to Columbus to take Little to the airport. I was able to accompany them to the gate and wait till the plane took off and there’s a great website where you can actually watch the plane fly across the country on a map in real time. As I’m writing this, they are 180 miles away from DIA. The things they can do these days!

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We decided to stay overnight in the Columbus area because it was a long day and I didn’t want to make that drive home after dark. We stayed near the Easton Mall which is tres chic…although the hotel we chose was anything but. It was clean, but dated. I never could get the internet to work, but the 5G finally started working better so it was fine.

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I’m telling you what, I love that grandchild of mine, but there is a reason God doesn’t give 15-year-olds to 69-year-olds. I am fried. I told Mr. FixIt that I would need a week to recuperate! lol I wouldn’t trade the time with little for anything in the world. We did SO much in those two weeks but we have to fit a lot in. We’re already thinking about what we’re going to do the next visit!

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So, I’m going to enjoy the day today with Mr. FixIt. We’ll go exploring and meander our way home. Or…maybe we’ll make a bee line and get home in time to mow! It rained all week and the grass is so thick and deep, I’m going to have to cut it at half the height I usually do, then go back over it the next day. Otherwise, I risk breaking the belt on the mower deck.

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At this time of year, there is so much to do…all the time. We really have no choice but to buckle down and get it done! I hope you are enjoying your lovely weekend. I sure loved taking you along with us on Nana and Littles’s Excellent Adventure! It was a lot of fun!!!

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UPDATE: Little landed safely at 10:12pm! Thank you for all your prayers.

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?

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“The Lord will keep your going out and your coming in from this time forth and forevermore.”

\nPsalm 121:8 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2022-07-31T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/07/31/back-to-mr-fixit.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/06/02/a-day-with-mr-fixit.html", "title": "A Day With Mr. FixIt", "content_html": "\n
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I’ve had more trouble with allergies this spring than I have in a long time. I’ve read that climate change is causing more allergens and those of us sensitive are even more so as things worsen. I already take so many antihistamines I rattle when I walk, but Monday night…after two days of mowing…I took an extra one at bedtime and paid for it with the jitters all night. Most people can take a Benadryl and it puts them to sleep. Not me. I can take one maybe for two nights in a row. After that, it works just the opposite and my skin crawls and I’m jumpy till dawn.

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I finally gave up trying to settle in around 2:30 and went to the guest bedroom so I wouldn’t keep my sweetheart awake all night with my tossing and fidgeting. When he woke up yesterday morning, he peeked his head in to see if I was awake then asked me if I wanted to go to Marietta with him. Now, honestly, I would have loved the day to myself without the noise of the television and time to clean up the stuff from camping. But, as those of us who have lost a husband understand…these are days we cannot get back. So, I happily said an enthusiastic yes. He beamed! It’s the little things, folks.

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We headed to town in what would turn into a marathon of stops here and there. We picked up the new brake line he ordered, stopped at a gorgeous nursery, checked my mail at the post office box, grabbed a soda at McDonald’s, stopped at the pool supply store for chemicals, looked at campers, went to Joe’s to water our tomatoes, stopped to see one of the kids and check out the truck that was run into yesterday (they’re sore but fortunately ok) then a last stop at Walmart on our way home.

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As we drove the two lane blacktop that twists and turns through the countryside, my mind yet again turned to the number of terrible car accidents on this one particular stretch of road. In my mind’s eye, I could see a head on collision so I became hyper alert and watched every approaching car. Last night at around 7:00, a notification came across my phone that there had been a terrible two car accident in that particular place and I automatically prayed for the victims and praised God for getting us through there safely yet again.

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This little Killdeer was protecting this triangle space with LOUD warnings to stay away!

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We warmed up leftovers for supper and enjoyed a little rest break in the hottest part of the day. When I got up, Mr. FixIt was out working on his brakes. That man has the patience of Job…seriously. Here he is, with some diminished sensation and use of his hands from his strokes, and he tried time and time again to get the fittings to connect on that brake line. I came out and sat with him, offering him what encouragement I could while I knitted. He finally got it finished and asked if I’d like to work on the tractor next.

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While I was gone in Colorado, he was mowing at the farm alone and caught the mower deck lever on the guy wire to the telephone pole that holds the transformer. It broke one end of the cover off and he ordered a replacement. I sat down where I could reach under the fender and removed the bent piece. And, of course, the replacement piece is just a smidgen different that the old one. Just enough that the plastic cover would not snap into place. I do NOT have the patience of Job and I walked away several times, only to come back and try again. We finally gave up and he’ll use the grinder on the metal piece tomorrow to get it to fit better. 

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A mama bird built a nest in the empty mailbox next to ours. Scares you to death!

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Sometimes you just have to know when to throw in the towel and leave it for another day. We got a lot done as it was. The brakes seem to be fixed. The tomatoes are watered. We have the chemicals to put in the pool. We understand the problem with the tractor. And…we’re still married! 

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I’ll call that a win!

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?

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“And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.”

\nHebrews 10:24-25 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2022-06-02T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/06/02/a-day-with-mr-fixit.html", "tags": ["Positive Energy","Fun","Choices","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/04/22/a-beautiful-obx-day.html", "title": "A Beautiful OBX Day", "content_html": "\n
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We walked down to the beach after breakfast yesterday and it was pretty windy and cool. Mr. FixIt wants to fish with his new rod and reel I bought him for his birthday, but it’s been so chilly this week…it just hasn't happened. I told him it didn’t matter to me…if he wanted to bring the stuff out to the beach and fish, I was game for anything. He thought about it for a bit and said, “Wanna drive up to Corolla and see the horses?” I said, “Wanna take your bait with you and fish when we get there?” He lit up! Win Win!

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We packed a picnic lunch and headed north on the island to where the paved road turns to sand. The first time Mr. FixIt brought me out on the beach, I was scared to death! I looked out at the waves and through an optical illusion, they looked much higher than my truck and I was just sure we were going to get stuck in the sand. Or worse…swept out to sea. 

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Mr. FixIt drove on the beach his whole life so this is second nature to him. I trust him explicitly. And, accidents can happen. Since that first time out there, I’ve done a lot of work on fear and anxiety and trust. And, since nothing happened to me the first time, I figured my chances of dying were now reduced to 50/50. Besides, God tells us to cast all our fears on Him. So I threw great big handfuls of fear over to Jesus and He caught them…like He always does!

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It was wonderful! We no sooner got out on the sand till we saw one of the wild horses. I told Mr. FixIt that God puts that one there for the scaredy cats so when they back out after 100 feet, they can still say they saw a wild horse. We didn’t see any more this time and none of the babies. We drove up the beach a ways and parked the truck along the high tide mark. Mr. FixIt got his chair and gear out. I really don’t like the chairs we brought with us. They are lighter and easier to carry out to the beach, but they are so uncomfortable. I decided to sit in the truck with the window down where I could be out of the wind, yet still hear and smell the ocean and be comfortable. 

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I knitted and watched the waves. I’ve learned how to knit without looking so I can multitask now. Mr. FixIt came in every once in a while to warm up or have a little something to eat. As we expected, fishing wasn’t any good, but we had a great time. He loves his new rod and reel and said it’s so much easier to cast which was the goal.

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We finally gave up and went on the prowl for a treat. I got a kiddie cup of peach ice cream. I can remember my dad’s only sister…my Aunt Marge…making this delicacy in the summer when we would go to her farm for a visit. She was a remarkable cook and her ice cream was the best! This wasn’t anything like hers, but thinking of her, sitting on her front porch with Queenie, the Norwegian Elkhound at her feet made me smile with warm memories. Aunt Marge had a hand pump out on the side porch of her house. I have distinct memories of pumping a pitcher of water that was so cold and so sweet and pure it gave you shivers to drink it. 

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We came back to the condo and stretched out for a little snooze before heading to the sound to watch the sunset. I thought of you all and wished you could see it then remembered, I haven’t done a live FB video for a while so it set that up. A little glitch at the front because I forgot you couldn’t shot landscape…it had to be portrait. Once that was fixed, I chatted with a few of you as the sun set. That was lovely and really added to the magic of the evening. 

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Isn’t it amazing…I can stand on the Currituck Sound watching the sunset and bring it to you live. From a phone. A phone so powerful it knocks the socks off my first few home computers. The lunar landing module had less computer power than we carry around in our pocket. We are so hyper connected and that can be really bad. We never unplug and just “be” anymore. But, it can be beautiful…just like last night. Friends hanging out together and thanking God for technology and sunsets.

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Life is beautiful…even in it’s supreme messiness.

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?

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“Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.”

\nPhilippians 4:11-13 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2022-04-22T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/04/22/a-beautiful-obx-day.html", "tags": ["Gratitude","Love","Peace","Be Joyful!","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/02/19/spring-rains-and-snow-flurries.html", "title": "Spring Rains and Snow Flurries", "content_html": "\n
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We received nearly two inches of rain on Friday, then we woke up yesterday with snow flurries. It was cold and gray and pretty dismal. I was looking forward to a day at home, knitting and cooking a little, but our West Virginia Daughter called to say the bad winds had knocked a big limb out of the tree in the front yard. It was wedged right between the front steps and the front gate and they were kind of stuck. So, we packed up the chainsaw and went to town to help them clear the yard. 

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The other night I was sitting in the camper knitting and rocking in the new outdoor rocking chair we bought at Sam’s when there was a loud POP and the seat collapsed. Now, I’ve gained some weight, but not THAT kind of weight. Since we were going to town, I packed the chairs in the truck and we took them back for a refund. It’s really frustrating when shoddy workmanship causes something to break after using it twice. Especially when you pay over $50 for it!

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We finally got back home by late afternoon. I fixed pork roast with sauerkraut and mashed potatoes. Oh, my….it was SO good. Then I settled in to knit. I’ve always been a bit of a perfectionist. In the past, I would rip out several rows if my stitch count was off…even by just a stitch or two. With this pattern, and this yarn, I’ve learned you can fudge a little by adding a stitch at each end of a row, or knitting two together (depending on if you have too many or two few stitches.) Things don’t have to be absolutely perfect every single time, right?

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I’m at the point where I feel the seasons changing around me and my mind is telling me to gear up and get things done around here. I can’t just sit and knit every day. Spring is coming before too long and I’m itching to get to work on some projects that are long overdue. First things first, I’m saying goodbye to the Christmas tree today. I’ve really enjoyed the twinkle of the lights, and now it’s time for the house to be put back in order. I can live in chaos for a certain amount of time, then I have to get crackin’!

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Break time’s over!

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❤️

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“Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.”

\nPsalm 51:10 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2022-02-19T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/02/19/spring-rains-and-snow-flurries.html", "tags": ["Comfort","Change","Farm Life","Marriage","Control"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/02/14/another-project-in-the-books.html", "title": "Another Project in the Books, Another Valentine’s Day", "content_html": "\n
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My sweater is finished…and yes, the tree is still up! I think it’s coming down this week!

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I finished my sweater in a little less than two weeks! Of course, other than having surgery, I didn’t do much else. Mr. FixIt subbed for his friend Harry on the bowling league yesterday afternoon and came home to a hot meal of spaghetti and garlic bread while we watched the Super Bowl. Although I would have loved to see Cincinnati win, it was a really close game. No one wants to watch a championship game that’s a blowout. It just shows these two teams were well deserving competitors and they both put up a great fight.

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I loved the halftime show. It reminded me of when Daughter #1 was in high school. I’d gather a car full of kids and take them out for McDonald’s and we’d blast the stereo in my little Honda Accord. Oh yeah…I was a real bad@$$ mom. *insert eye roll here*

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We had a beautiful visitor in the yard. I kept hearing a bird call that I didn’t recognize. When I went in to make my coffee yesterday morning, here was this beautiful male Yellow-bellied Sapsucker poking around on the maple tree outside the kitchen window. When I played the recorded bird call on the Merlin app, it was the one I hadn’t recognized from earlier.

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It’s Valentine’s Day. I remember brokenhearted Valentine’s Days in the past and I hated them. I hated that people were happy. I hated that people had partners. I was so sad to be alone and so angry at God for taking Mr. Virgo away from me. If you are on your own on this yearly recognized day that reminds you of that fact at every turn…I see you. And, my heart is with you. I know how hard it can be.

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❤️‍?

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“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”

\nPsalm 147:3 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2022-02-14T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/02/14/another-project-in-the-books.html", "tags": ["Grief","Memories","Marriage","Crafts","Healing"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/01/28/the-mindlessness-of-television.html", "title": "The Mindlessness of Television", "content_html": "\n
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I grew up in Small Town, America in the ‘50s and ‘60s. It was very much the Leave it to Beaver upbringing most of us Boomers experienced. We didn’t have a TV till I was well into grade school. It was mesmerizing. I remember staring at the black and white screen with the snow and the squiggly lines and wondering, “What magic is this???” Mr. Cartoon and Captain Kangaroo and Father Knows Best. I Love Lucy and What’s My Line? and Donna Reed. They soon gave way to American Bandstand and Laugh In and Saturday Night Live.

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The television became the centerpiece of modern living. Father with his newspaper and pipe, Mother with her mending basket. The children, sprawled out on the living room floor with a dog, maybe. All watching Ted Mack’s Amateur Hour or Sing Along With Mitch. Lawrence Welk or The Ed Sullivan Show. All after homework and baths were done, of course.

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We watched the news with Chet Huntley, David Brinkley, John Cameron Swayze, Edward R. Murrow, John Chancellor, and everybody’s dad…Walter Cronkite. That was when the news was THE NEWS. No spin, just facts. Somewhere along the way, the regulations that governed news programming to be truthful were done away with and our sense of honor was whittled away with it…piece by piece.

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But, I digress.

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The center of the modern home was a box that started to tell you what you believed in, what you should buy, what you should eat, how you should live. What kind of house, makeup, car, books, movies, vacations….everything you NEEDED…carefully orchestrated and directed by Madison Avenue advertising. It is remarkable how much of it you don’t even realize till you unplug yourself from the tentacles reaching through the screen and into your hearts, your minds, and your wallets. 

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I didn’t have TV for the five years between my divorce and meeting Mr. Virgo. I didn’t miss it one bit. My life was full and active and fun. For the six-and-a-half years I had Mr. Virgo, the TV became the center of the universe again. I hated it. Except for musical competition shows and historical documentaries, I couldn’t stand it. But, we do things for love, don’t we? I sat alongside my husband, watching the shows. Watching the shows. Not fiddling on my phone or doing cross stitch or filling in the family tree. Watching the shows, so we could discuss the shows during the commercials. Did I say I hated TV? Oy.

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Then, he was gone. And the TV was soon gone, as well. The quiet was jarring after the years of daily cacophony streaming out of the expensive sound system we had to have to make the Civil War scenes come to life in our living room. I didn’t miss the TV. I missed the man. 

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Five years passed with no TV. Then I married Mr. FixIt. Ever so slowly, TV crept back into my life…it’s insidious lure tearing at my resolve. I will say, it’s easier to stay away from the TV in the summer. There’s just too much to do outside to sit and watch mindless television. But it more difficult in the winter. If I’m going to sit and knit in the family room, Mr. FixIt is going to have the TV going. I will admit, I like the silly game shows like America Says and Family Feud. I really enjoy Andy Griffith reruns. And who doesn’t laugh at the crazy antics of Niles and Frazier Crane? 

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We watch the news at noon and again during the dinner hour. Then we catch two episodes of Big Bang Theory and I’m done. I gather my phone, kiss my sweetheart on the top of his very cute head, and head to the back bedroom to write. We drove up to Columbus yesterday for my preop medical appointments today. It’s harder to get away from the television in a hotel room. This time I remembered to bring my rechargeable Bluetooth headphones and I listened to my “writing soundtrack”…an eighty minute recording of a roaring fire with rain and thunder in the background. He can watch anything his little heart desires and I’m off on some mountain in the woods, happy as a little clam.

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My sweetheart has a major birthday next week. When we were discussing the number the other day, we both marveled that we’ve actually lived this long. His parent’s died young…from the fallout of the ‘50s. Smoking. We both are kind of amazed we’re still here. And pretty darned happy about it, I must say. We still won’t go into a restaurant and eat a meal. We haven’t done that in two whole years. So, we’re going to order a lovely meal and enjoy it at the hotel tonight. It ought to taste pretty darned good after a long day at the hospital.

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I’m almost finished with the third pair of socks and can start the sweater. I brought the yarn for that project so I can work on it if I finish the last sock. Seven more sleeps and I can get the surgery behind me!

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❄️?❄️

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“But you must not forget this one thing, dear friends: A day is like a thousand years to the Lord, and a thousand years is like a day.”

\n2 Peter 3:8 NLT\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2022-01-28T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/01/28/the-mindlessness-of-television.html", "tags": ["Gratitude","Choices","Memories","Marriage","Crafts"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/01/20/another-project-completed.html", "title": "Another Project Completed", "content_html": "\n
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I finished the pretty “seascape” socks last night. I didn’t have a “day of knitting” like I have recently, but I did take my knitting with me to our doctor’s appointments yesterday. What is it with being this age and doctors want to see you every three months??? Hokey Smokes…it feels like we are there ALL the time. As soon as this parathyroid thing is fixed, I do not plan to be going to the doctor nearly as much as we have been. If we could have one week where we have all our appointments, then in three months do it again, that would be more convenient. But that’s not the way it works out, is it?

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We had a lovely day yesterday, in spite of the trip to the doctor. The sun was out and it was in the mid-forties. The snow was melting. We ran our errands and by the time we headed home, the clouds were getting dark and the sky was threatening rain. It didn’t hit till near dark and our lowest temperature of the season was anticipated for overnight. Rain + Overnight Lows = more snow for our area this morning. Would you believe West Virginia’s schools were closed again yesterday??? Now, with this new little bit of snow, I’ll bet dollars to donuts they’ll cancel again today! I just don’t get it. We never had days off like that and we had real snow back then. 

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I’ll stop short of saying we walked five miles to school carrying our lunch…uphill…both ways. But I will say, this was back when girls weren’t allowed to wear pants to school and it got pretty darned cold standing at the bus stop in the morning. We didn’t have anything closely resembling the kind of winter gear that’s available these days. No real snow boots…at least, WE didn’t. We were lucky to have a wool hand-me-down coat and hat. Mom wouldn’t even let me wear pants under my dress just till I got to school and then take them off when I got there. It was ridiculous. 

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We took a ride up to my bonus son’s house yesterday where he and one of the grands were out building a snowman….errrr, snow WOMAN. Complete with makeup. I remember playing in the snow with my friends and then with my kids when they got big enough. I don’t really mind snow so much. I’m just much happier when we don’t have to go anywhere in it.

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This is the fifth winter Mr. FixIt and I have been together. The first year or two, we butted heads over the thermostat. He was used to cranking that puppy up and sleeping in a very warm room because he likes a light cover. I, on the other hand, was quite used to a very cold room with a pile of warm blankets. Slowly over the years, we have adjusted and now the main house stays at 63 all winter and the family room stays toasty warm when we are sitting in there due to the gas stove.

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The bedroom has still been a bit of a sticky wicket. That’s because I like the window to be cracked open a little…no matter what the temperature is outside. I like fresh air. And a cool room actually keeps you healthier. The problem comes when Mr. FixIt walks in from that very warm family room with gas stove and his comforter and his heating pad and walks into the bedroom. I have pretty much solved that with an electric blanket with dual controls. My side is on low just long enough to take the chill off the sheets. His side is on three till he acclimates to the room temp then it’s on low all night.

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I justify this by telling him the story of “Mr. Virgo and the Meat Locker.” Mr. Virgo didn’t like a cool room. He liked a frigid room. He ran the window air conditioner and the floor fan 365 nights a year. It could be -27 outside, and that air conditioner was blowing full blast. That is when I discovered the joys of an electric blanket…and wearing long johns to bed. My side of the blanket varied between 6 or 7 in the summer to HI in the winter. I explained sweetly to my Mr. FixIt that if I could survive that, I’m sure he can survive the 7.5 seconds it takes to climb in a pre-warmed bed.

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All marriages are a give and take proposition. Truly, my Mr. FixIt is a real sport and I’m blessed beyond measure to have him in my life. I try to make up for the room temperature debate in other ways like…bringing him a couple warm chocolate chip cookies fresh from the oven with a kiss on top of his sweet head. The quickest way to a man’s heart is warm chocolate chip cookies, right?

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❄️?❄️

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“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.”

\nRomans 8:28 NLT\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2022-01-20T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/01/20/another-project-completed.html", "tags": ["Gratitude","Comfort","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/01/06/one-sock-done-one-to.html", "title": "One Sock Done, One to Go!", "content_html": "\n
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I finished the first sock yesterday. I had two skeins…one per sock. I nearly ran out of the first skein and it took me a bit to figure out what I did wrong. I followed the pattern precisely, but I think I could have made the top a good two inches shorter. Then the foot could be longer. But, as it is, these will fit Little perfectly. Tiny feet! A perfect Valentine’s treat!

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I didn’t sit all afternoon and knit like I have been. I had some other things to do. I needed to mail three packages. Two late Christmas gifts. And, a book for my dear friend Diane’s granddaughter. She is grieving the loss of her Granny, so I sent her a copy of “Rise Up, Little Bluebirds” written by Kristy Boike. Remember when I shared the story from CBS Sunday Morning about the man who lost his wife to brain cancer? She was an avid gardener and loved bluebirds. So, after she died, he started making bluebird houses. His daughter not only lost her mom, but soon after…lost her father-in-law. Her four children were struggling with the losses and, being a former primary school teacher, she wrote a sweet book that helps kids process their feelings about loss and normalizes conversations about grief. I hope it helps her. That child was the center of Diane’s universe…and vice versa.

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Mr. FixIt got the generator out and cleaned up. It started right up for him and he wanted me to go out and see if I could start it, too. I told him as soon as we became serious about this relationship that I need to know how to do everything around this place…just in case I ever have to do it on my own someday. Once you have lost your spouse, you will forever be aware of how tenuous life truly is and I don’t ever want to be caught flat footed. He reminded me of the steps to get it ready, and on the second pull, it fired right up. We have it out on the covered front porch along with the snow blower (it’s actually battery powered) so we’ll be ready for the coming snowfall. We have the battery plugged in and charging.

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On my way back from the Post Office yesterday, I stopped at the two grocery stores in town to pick up a few things. Dick’s Market for fresh ground hamburger, and deli sliced Colby Longhorn cheese and sliced Tavern Ham. Oh…that ham is fabulous and makes the best sandwiches and is great on breakfast biscuits with egg and cheese. Speaking of biscuits, I stopped at the Pig and got fresh buttermilk, bacon, and some great pepperoni and cheese to make homemade Pepperoni Rolls. I may make a batch of Cinnamon Rolls, too. We’ll see.

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While I’m not a huge fan of winter, I sure don’t mind getting stuck at home with lots of fun foods to bake and eat. And, I can’t think of anyone I’d rather be stuck at home with than my sweet husband. Knitting, baking, sitting with my sweetheart, and watching the snow fall outside. It doesn’t get any better than that!

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My world is so vastly different now than it was as a new widow. This is the ninth winter since Mr. Virgo died. That first winter in Colorado as a widow was so awful. We had SO much snow that year and…thank GOD I had great neighbors with snowblowers. Between them and hiring the sprinkler guy to come dig me out of a few really big dumps…plus all the times I shoveled by hand in between…I was absolutely bound and determined I would never live where I had to deal with snow like that again. 

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Enter the Winter of 2014-15. I had moved to West Virginia to live on the farm, but Christmas found me scrambling for other living arrangements. I housesat for a friend for a couple of months up in Marietta, Ohio. I remember sitting in the front window of the second floor loft apartment…drafty and cold…watching the snow pile up outside. I was bereft. Things hadn’t worked out at the farm like I thought they would. And I spent those two months scanning thousands of photos onto external hard drives. The memories were so thick, you could cut them with a knife. And they cut my broken heart even deeper.

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By the end of January 2015, I was living in my camper up on a ridge overlooking the Ohio River. The river was frozen and made sounds like ice being dropped in a cooler…all night, every night. The train ran by within a couple hundred yards…every few hours. Tug boats pushed barges of gasoline, chemicals, and coal up and down the river…day and night. No running water. My fridge stopped working and I lost all my food. I showered at Planet Fitness and did laundry at a laundromat for the first time in three decades. It was…challenging, to say the least. But, it made me a stronger person, I think. I had to learn how to survive and thrive on my own. I wouldn’t trade that experience for anything. However…I wouldn’t necessarily want to repeat it.

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It’s a good life I live here on five acres with Mr. FixIt. I never dreamed I’d be where I am today…and certainly not with my old high school chum. If you would have told me this was where my life would lead, I’d have said you were crazy! Yet, here we are. This is a great story…chapter…volume of my Book of Life.

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?

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“We humans keep brainstorming options and plans, but God’s purpose prevails.”

\nProverbs 19:21 MSG\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2022-01-06T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/01/06/one-sock-done-one-to.html", "tags": ["Gratitude","Be Joyful!","Farm Life","Marriage","Crafts","In the Kitchen","Home"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/01/02/one-down-to-go.html", "title": "One Down, 364 to Go!", "content_html": "\n
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We were thrilled to have absolutely nothing to do yesterday. As a matter of fact, we went to bed before the ball dropped. We decided 2022 needed to come in on tippy-toes without a big fuss as far as we were concerned. We lay in bed and followed our nightly ritual of watching funny videos. We didn’t even know what time it was…then we heard a loud “bang” and looked at the clock. Sure enough, the old year had slipped away quietly and the new year took its place without a lot of fanfare, save for a kiss…for Auld Lang Syne.

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We slept in, luxuriating in the fact we had NOTHING to do. I will have to say, though…there was a lot of football on TV yesterday and I really wasn’t interested in that…at all! I found my Bluetooth headset, turned on my rainstorm/campfire soundtrack, and happily knitted away all afternoon as the rain poured heavily outside. We kept the main door open and I can watch the rain from my recliner through the full length glass storm door. It was delightful.

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We’ve been holding off making that wonderful supper of scallops and lamb chops originally scheduled for Christmas. When we bought the scallops a week and a half ago, Mr. FixIt happily told me how he likes them prepared. With nothing but butter and garlic. “No lemon?” I asked. Nope…nothing but butter and garlic.” As I prepared the meal yesterday, do you think that information even came close to passing through my head? Nooooooooooo.

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Now, my sweet husband has never, EVER complained about anything I’ve fixed for him. There have been a couple of times when I didn’t hit it out of the park, and I could tell it wasn’t to his liking. But he has never said anything…until yesterday. He looked at his plate with delicious anticipation and his shoulders slumped. He was quiet. I asked him what was wrong and he said, “I don’t like them like this.” Ahhhhh….it all came crashing back into my head! Why didn’t I remember that? Maybe because I had a procedure a couple of days ago where they gave me a drug that erases the memory banks. I don’t know. But I felt really bad. 

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He was quite the good sport and ate them anyway, but I promised I’ll make the other half of the bag tonight…with nothing but garlic and butter! I will have to say…the lamb chops were excellent. Lemon pepper, a few herbs like rosemary, and honey with a little bit of red wine…cooked to perfection. They were really tasty and we have enough left over to have more today.

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So, here we are…a new year is before us. We step into the unknown, hoping and praying for the best. For healing…in so many ways. For love…between us all. For happiness….after so much pain and disappointment in the last couple of years. For joy…as we dare to hope covid releases us from its talons as more and more of us present with antibodies, either from having had the illness or from having had the vaccine. For hope…in knowing God has this handled already and all things will work out for our goodness in some way unbeknownst to us.

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One down…364 to go. What will you do with yours?

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?

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“Since everything God created is good, we should not reject any of it but receive it with thanks.”

\n1 Timothy 4:4 NLT\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2022-01-02T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/01/02/one-down-to-go.html", "tags": ["Marriage","Cooking","In the Kitchen"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/11/14/the-journey-never-really-ends.html", "title": "The Journey Never Really Ends, You Just Learn How to Ride", "content_html": "\n
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I was writing my post Friday night as I always do. Then I schedule it to go live at 4:00am so you can sit down and have coffee “with” me. I checked my messages and a reader shared the following poem from the website, A Bed for My Heart.

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— You Don’t Just Lose Someone Once —\n\nYou lose them over and over, \nsometimes many times a day.\nWhen the loss, momentarily forgotten,\ncreeps up, \nand attacks you from behind.\nFresh waves of grief as the realisation hits home,\nthey are gone.\nAgain.\n\nYou don’t just lose someone once, \nyou lose them every time you open your eyes to a new dawn,\nand as you awaken, \nso does your memory, \nso does the jolting bolt of lightning that rips into your heart,\nthey are gone.\nAgain.\n\nLosing someone is a journey,\nnot a one-off.\nThere is no end to the loss,\nthere is only a learned skill on how to stay afloat,\nwhen it washes over.\n\nBe kind to those who are sailing this stormy sea, \nthey have a journey ahead of them,\nand a daily shock to the system each time they realise,\nthey are gone,\nAgain.\n\nYou don’t just lose someone once, \nyou lose them every day, \n\nfor a lifetime.\n\n© Donna Ashworth Words\n
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She said it made her cry. I understand that. I know the sentiment of this poem. I’ve lived it. I still live it…even though I am very happily remarried. Even though I have a beautiful life I never dreamed possible. I’m still a widow. Not an actively grieving widow…but a widow nonetheless. I shared with her something that happened to me Friday.

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I was sitting at the DMV, waiting for my number to be called, and decided to pick up my phone and scroll through Facebook. I came to a photo that puzzled me. It was a picture of a building, half torn down. The red dirt and scrub oak beyond the building were unmistakably Western Colorado. There was something vaguely familiar about that building but I couldn’t put my finger on it. I looked to see who posted it. It was someone I know in the town I lived in for many years. The caption said, “Let’s all do our own little Rivers dance…? in honor.” That is when it hit me. That far wall of windows. 

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They were tearing down Rivers Restaurant in Glenwood Springs. Ohhhh, the memories. Years and years of memories. It was called Penelope’s when we first moved to the area in 1986. It was in this restaurant that Hubby #2 and I had dinner with the doctors who were interviewing him to join their practice. It was in this restaurant where we spent countless Happy Hours schmoozing with our friends and cohorts in the medical community. Birthday dinners. Dinners out for no other reason than to indulge in their Elk Medallions.

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It was also the restaurant where Mr. Virgo and I got married. 

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On the other side of those windows is…was…a large deck that overlooked the Roaring Fork River with a view of Mount Sopris up the valley. It was a chilly April Saturday, nestled between two snow storms…a day filled with sunshine and laughter and love. It was a beautiful day, a beautiful setting, a beautiful building.

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And, now it’s gone. It’s just another thing…a page from a storybook…ripped away and floating off on some unseen breeze. The last time I stayed in Glenwood by myself, I went in and had dinner. I sat where I could see the area that held the reception. Sweet memories. I’m glad I got to dine in there one last time. I’d heard it sold, but I just assumed another restaurant would take it’s place.

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There will always be losses and more losses tied to the death of a loved one. I am so very grateful time has softened the sharp edges of my grief and I’m left with warmth and gratitude that’s mixed in with that familiar little squeeze in my chest. 

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?

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“When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all. He keeps all his bones; not one of them is broken.”

\nPsalm 34:17-20 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2021-11-14T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/11/14/the-journey-never-really-ends.html", "tags": ["Colorado","Grief","Memories","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/10/19/fall-camping-is-the-best.html", "title": "Fall Camping is the BEST!", "content_html": "\n
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The daytime temps are warm enough to wear a lightweight shirt, even if it’s long sleeved. And maybe leggings if you feel a little chilled. Night’s are cool enough to flip on the little space heater and cover up with an extra blanket. And throw on a fuzzy fleece jacket when you’re sitting around outside. 

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I can think of a lot of things I wish I had with us. Like, my propane campfire. That would have been perfect! A stepladder would certainly come in handy. And try as I might, I cannot find my little level that I use when I’m camping. But, we were really pressed for time to prepare for this trip. We had to run a ton of errands and empty out TOW-Wanda…all in one day. I grabbed some blankets and put them in a tote. Nothing matches, but they’re warm and functional and at this point, that’s all that matters to me. 

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When we decided to stay a few more nights, I looked online and saw that the site we were on was only available for two more nights. We drove around the campground and chose one we liked and reserved it. Then, all night long, I kept waking up and thinking about it. It was totally shaded with trees…which would be awesome in the summer, but at this time of year all I could think of was “There’s no place to sit in the sun and knit!” So, over breakfast, I asked if Mr. FixIt would mind if we took another look around and choose a better site.

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We took the map and had the reservation system up on my phone and chose a beautiful site. Still surrounded by trees, but enough open space to feel the sun on my face. We both felt a lot better about it so we went to the camp office and switched the reservation. We stowed anything breakable, closed up the camper, and towed it…literally ten sites away from where we were. I laughed and told Mr. FixIt… “This is MY kind of travel day!”

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We set up in the new spot. I have to say, this camper is not quite as easy to set up alone. I think I’ll be able to do it when I bring my stepladder from home. I always like to be able to set everything up on my own if I have to. That’s how I learned, and…God forbid…if the unthinkable occurs, I still need to know how to do things on my own.

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That’s the biggest lesson I learned from losing Mr. Virgo. Don’t take ANYTHING for granted because life changes…and it changes quick. Sometimes it bothers Mr. FixIt when I ask him to let me do it. I know he knows how. And I know he likes to do it. I also know, he’d be the first one to want me to carry on doing this fun stuff if he should pass before me. We have a routine when we camp together and I’ve given up some of the tasks…things that I know I won’t forget how to do. But, with a new camper, there are new skills I need to master. It won’t take long and we’ll have it down to a science.

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We have a routine at home that hasn’t transferred well to camping. Mr. FixIt is a TV watcher and I am not. I prefer to do my writing at night while he is watching his detective shows. Our new camper doesn’t have a TV and I really didn’t want to get one. I have an iPad I can download movies to, but we don’t have WiFi here. As a matter of fact, most campground WiFi is dicey at best. That wouldn’t work anyway because I write on my iPad every night. So, we splurged and bought a portable DVD player. Then, we found a Half Price Book Store and scored some movies he liked. Now, as soon as the DVD player charges up, he’ll be a happy camper in the evenings. We play cards, but he needed something to do while I write and he’s not a big reader. Oh, and I bought him headphones to listen to his movies quietly while I write.

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I’ve tried NOT writing. I can’t do it. Sometimes when I’m really tired, I just post a rerun story…but I have to write. It’s like oxygen to me. Thank goodness I have an incredibly patient and loving husband who understands my proclivities!

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We have one of my Girl Camper friends coming to visit today! Other than that, knitting, reading Miss Brenda Gantt’s new cookbook, and eating is the only thing on my agenda!

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Have I told you fall camping is THE BEST!!!

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???

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“The grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of our God will stand forever.”

\nIsaiah 40:8 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2021-10-19T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/10/19/fall-camping-is-the-best.html", "tags": ["Camping","Fun","Gratitude","Memories","Marriage","Big Bird"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/10/18/when-you-find-a-great.html", "title": "When You Find a Great Place to Stay, Stay There!", "content_html": "\n
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Big Bird! A lot like Birdie, but bigger, with twin beds so the dinette stays up, and more storage!

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We are camping at a beautiful state park we’ve never been to before. Our initial plan was to stay here a couple of nights, then head toward Gettysburg and tour the historic sites…something I’ve always wanted to do. We sat in the sun yesterday afternoon and had lunch surrounded by falling leaves. The weather is cool with lots of puffy white clouds in the clear blue sky. We are steps from a huge lake. And, we’re tired.

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Camping on a lazy Sunday afternoon!

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We’ve been running around like crazy this year with SO much driving. And, here we are with this really great new camper in a really great new (to us) state park so…we decided to just stay here for a few more days. We drove around the park with the site availability map open on my cell phone and picked a beautiful site tucked in the woods. It sits far enough away from the road that the noise is minimal and it’s just a short walk to the lake. It’s a win/win, I think.

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The campsite we had the last two nights. The sites are spread out and surrounded by trees.

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Our truck is packed to the gills with a lot of the camping gear that came out of TOW-Wanda and Birdie. We are trying to figure out just exactly what we really NEED for the new camper and where and how to store it most efficiently. We don’t want to just throw things in this camper all willy-nilly then wonder where we put it. Staying put will give us time to do just that. And to rest and enjoy CAMPING…not just sleeping in the camper one night then moving to the next place like we did to and from Colorado.

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A camp breakfast…a steaming plate of ham and eggs!

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I love the fact that I’ve spent more nights sleeping in a camper this summer than I ever have…other than the time I traveled full time. Camping is “the great escape”. My dear friend Ben would beg to differ with me. He grew up farming in northeastern Colorado and spent far more nights than he would ever want to remember sleeping outside to beat the heat in a house without air conditioning or fans. Or sleeping in the hay loft. Or just outside on the ground. Camping isn’t fun to him.

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The view out the big window over the kitchen!

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I know it’s not fun to a lot of people. But for me? It’s like living in the children’s books featuring The Boxcar Children. It’s like my childhood fantasy of riding my bike to Canada. It’s the soothing place that helped heal my broken heart after losing Mr. Virgo. And, it’s the place my sweet Mr. FixIt and I can go to escape the workaday world of life on five acres. We only have to mow another time or two. And before long, the snow will fly and Big Bird will be tucked away for the winter in our building…hopefully! We still need to clear out a space for her.

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The view out the skylight right over our heads!

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But, for now…we are celebrating our “Anniversary Month”, enjoying our new treasure, and getting the rest we need. That is a gift worth it’s weight in gold!

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?

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“But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”

\nMatthew 6:33 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2021-10-18T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/10/18/when-you-find-a-great.html", "tags": ["Camping","Fun","Gratitude","Be Joyful!","Road Trip","Marriage","Big Bird"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/09/03/the-grand-prairie-and-birdies.html", "title": "The Grand Prairie and Birdie’s Grand Adventure", "content_html": "\n
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If we were just meandering around the country with absolutely no agenda, there are some places we would have stopped and explored some more. Like…oodles of antique stores and quilt shops, for one thing. And there were some interesting museums that explored the history of pioneers heading west. I would love to see that some day. But I’m ready to see my kids!

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We left Two Rivers State Recreation Area in Waterloo, Nebraska yesterday morning. The day broke cloudy and cool which made for great sleeping weather and driving was easy on the eyes. Since we were so far north of I-80, “Mavis” the GPS took us due south on US-77. What a great road! Seventy miles per hour four lane with NO traffic. Unfortunately, it was over all too soon and we were off to the dodgems of the long haul truckers heading west. We passed through several rainstorms but they weren’t nearly as heavy as the once we saw earlier in the week.

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The Grand Prairie really amazes me. Long stretches of fields filled with thousands of round bales of hay. Soybeans and corn and grains of every variety as far as the eye could see. But the one thing that takes my breath away is the blanket of yellow Prairie Sunflowers. These aren’t the big heads of cultivated sunflowers grown for seed, oil, and other byproducts. These are wild and gangly and….everywhere! They look a lot like what we call Black-Eyed Susans back home. When we arrived at our campsite last night, the whole place was surrounded by fields of these beautiful flowers that make me smile. 

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As we were driving along, I noticed a dark moving “cloud” and immediately caught my breath. 

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“Look! A murmuration of birds!”

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A murmuration is when a flock of birds fly together and as they soar around, they come together and expand, and create moving shapes in the sky. They are mesmerizing. They flew up from the fields of corn, did their sky dance, and just as rapidly…settled back down into the field again. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen a really big murmuration…and this one could be seen from quite a distance.

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We decided to cut our day in half yesterday and stop at Lake McConaughy in Ogallala, Nebraska. I’ve never been here and it was such a shock to come over the hill and see this huge body of water. The next thing you notice is how low the water level has fallen. The entire west is in a mega drought. I’ve seen reservoirs drop, but this is shocking. The lake is still huge and a major source of recreation in the area. Just about every license plate in the campground was Colorado. We were really lucky we hit the place yesterday, because they are booked for the next several days for Labor Day Weekend.

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One “benefit” of the low water level is the broad, sandy beaches left exposed. People rush here to camp right down on the sand and by last evening, it was beginning to resemble Ft. Lauderdale. It was fun to watch. These huge tractors with massive tires towed the campers and 5th wheels down to the beach and backed them into their places. Then, when it’s time for the campers to leave, the tractors come back and haul them back up to the parking lots and their owners hook up and head on home. I’ve never seen anything like it.

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Everything has been working well with the camper. And, as with all mechanical things, little stuff needs tended to from time to time. As I was backing into the campsite yesterday afternoon, when Mr. FixIt noticed the brake light on the drivers side was burned out. He went to pop off the lens and found it was glued on. This happens frequently because the lens attaches to the light fixture itself with two small plastic hooks. It’s very easy to break one of those hooks when changing a burned out light bulb. And the easiest fix is with glue. We will need to do a permanent fix with new rear light fixtures. They aren’t very expensive. We can order them from Amazon if we can’t find them at a trailer supply store in Denver. No big deal.

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Everything in life requires maintenance. I’ve been enjoying the “tuneup” traveling with my sweetheart has afforded me. I think Birdie is the best camper we could have bought to keep us in close quarters. And hours in a pickup truck, toodling across the miles is an excellent way to keep the communication going. Every time Mr. FixIt and I take a trip, we always say “That was the BEST one!” 

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And yet…each one gets better!

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?

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“Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips!”

\nPsalm 141:3 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2021-09-03T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/09/03/the-grand-prairie-and-birdies.html", "tags": ["Camping","The Grand Adventure","Comfort","Road Trip","Marriage","Birdie"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/08/28/putting-birdie-through-her-paces.html", "title": "Putting Birdie Through Her Paces", "content_html": "\n
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Panicle Hydrangea at The Farm

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We are going through our little a-frame camper with a fine toothed comb. We cleaned out the water system yesterday and discovered the hot water heater desperately needed a new anode. We rinsed out the fresh water tank and refilled it…adding a capful of bleach to sanitize it. While it sat for a while, we drove into town to one of the local camper supply places. They had exactly what we needed. After a quick stop at Walmart, we headed back home.

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I opened the drain to the fresh water tank and we got things ready to install the new diode. There was quite a bit of calcification in the threads where the anode screws in, so I cleaned it out as best I could with a wire brush. Mr. FixIt found a socket that fit the end of the anode rod, so I got it screwed in nice and tight. When we tested it with water, there were no leaks! We filled the hot water heater with water and turned it on with propane. It worked exactly like it was supposed to. We waited about ten minutes and turned on the hot water faucet in the sink and….bingo! Perfect!

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We turned off the hot water heater and started putting everything back together. The mechanicals are underneath one of the dinette benches. The dinette is broken down into a twin-sized bed so we had to take the mattress out to getting into it. Once everything was put back together, we cleaned up our tools and put them away. Now, the only thing left to test is the refrigerator on propane and the furnace. One wouldn’t think we’d be needing the furnace anytime soon with the heat wave we’ve been having. However, one thing I learned living in Colorado for forty years….winter can come early and with a vengeance. I clearly remember eight inches of snow on September 16th one year. I want to be prepared.

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I need to strip the big bed and wash all the sheets and blankets today. I’ll bring in the black “camping trunk” we use for all our cooking and cleaning needs and go through it. I like it to be organized and I learn from each trip out what we can absolutely do without, thus streamlining our packing. This will be a first camping with the two of us in such a small space. If we don’t kill each other by Kansas, I’ll count that as a win! 

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Once we had all our tools and trash picked up and put away, we were so hot and tired. The only answer was to hop in the pool. We’ve used the pool a lot more this year than usual…probably because it’s been hotter than normal. And SO sticky humid. It is a treat, and well worth all the work involved, to have that respite at the end of the day.

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We also need to mow today. With my hip still bothering me, we’ve decided to get the mowing done today instead of waiting till Sunday afternoon. Mr. FixIt bowls on Sunday night and doesn’t want to take any chances he’ll be sore. And I want to have as little to do as possible on Sunday so I can really rest and ice this hip all day. We’ll be packed up and ready to head out early Monday. This is the part that is hard for me. I’ve been known to leave for a trip one or two days early because I’m ready to GO! When I travel solo, I don’t have reservations ahead of time, but with the influx of new campers since covid hit, campsites along the busy interstate corridors are booked up in advance. That means, traveling on a schedule. Not my favorite, but then again…sleeping in a Walmart parking lot in the middle of Kansas without electricity during a massive heatwave is even less desirable. We do what we have to do for comfort and safety.

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T-minute 2 days and counting!!!

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?

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“For nothing will be impossible with God.””

\nLuke 1:37 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2021-08-28T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/08/28/putting-birdie-through-her-paces.html", "tags": ["Camping","The Farm","Love","Be Joyful!","Marriage","Birdie"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/08/22/theres-a-fungus-among-us.html", "title": "There’s a Fungus Among Us", "content_html": "\n
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I got back from my little impromptu camping trip in the early afternoon. It was already in the mid 80’s but as soon as I had the camper unhooked and set up, I hopped on the riding mower. I told you yesterday, with all this rain, you could HEAR the grass growing. I wasn’t kidding. It was amazing. But that wasn’t the only thing that grew fast…take a look at this mushroom!

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I would bet money this thing wasn’t there Friday when I left for Huntington. If it was, it was very small. When I walked into the back gate, this thing was like “HEY…I’M HERE!!!!” I’ve posted it on my personal page as well as Twitter, so let’s see if we get a hit. Someone out there is bound to be a mushroom forager! 

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When I lived in England, Hubby #1 came home from work one day with a grocery sack FULL of mushrooms. They looked exactly like the white mushrooms you buy in the store. He said they were given to him by well trained mushroom foragers, and…since they weren’t red with white spots, and since I was a pretty young housewife on a budget, I fried them up in about a pound of butter. We sat down with a fork and ate every one of them…they were SO good. The differences between fresh food and store bought is staggering. I’ve never been brave enough since to eat a mushroom I’ve found. Now, I know what a morel mushroom looks like so you can guarantee if I ever find any of those…I’m eating them. Or selling them to a fine restaurant!

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It was 88 degrees when I finally finished mowing the five acres. Mr. FixIt was using the push mower and the weed eater. We both finished at the same time. I went inside to change and jumped in the pool. We have struggled with algae all summer. Mr. FixIt treated the water with algaecide this week so there was a layer of sediment on the bottom. I vacuumed as much up as I could, then I used a broom to stir it all up and clean the sides of the pool. When I was done, the water was a dull murky greenish brown again so I added more algaecide. We didn’t have a bit of trouble last summer. But it was so hot and dry this year, and what we thought was algaecide…wasn’t. I think we’ve got a handle on it now…just in time to start thinking about closing the pool up for the season. Pools are an awful lot of work, but when you’ve been mowing for a few hours in the August heat, there’s nothing like a refreshing dip. And, since it’s been so rainy this week, the water was a great temperature.

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Yesterday was one of those “just do the next thing” days. Mr. FixIt and I work very well together as a team. We just start working. And whatever we’re doing just seems to work in tandem till the job is done. I’ve never really had a relationship like this. Hubby #1 and I weren’t together long enough to have a place to work on together. Hubby #2 was a doctor. He mowed the lawn in our later years together, but I did the gardening and planting, building, painting, etc. He was always too busy. Mr. Virgo, God rest his soul, was NOT handy with tools. He got on a kick one time and decided to refinish the night stands in our room to match a new bedroom suite he bought. When those turned out pretty well, he decided to refinish my mother’s cedar chest. He used a combination stain and varnish kind of thing and when he was finished, you couldn’t open the chest! It was the thought that counts and it made a nice bench.

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And now…I have Mr. FixIt. He doesn’t get that name for nuthin! He can do ANYTHING. He’s so handy and creative and fun to work with. On occasion we butt heads because I want things done MY way way and he wants them HIS. I almost always back off and learn there’s more than one way to get a job done and I don’t ALWAYS have to be right! I love it when life is fun and hard jobs are made easier with a willing partner.

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?

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“She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.”

\nProverbs 31:26-27 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2021-08-22T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/08/22/theres-a-fungus-among-us.html", "tags": ["Family","Comfort","Farm Life","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/08/13/its-the-dog-days-of.html", "title": "It’s the Dog Days of Summer", "content_html": "\n
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The Mystery Flower: Sun Star? Star of Bethlehem? Some kind of lily?

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I am hoping against hope that yesterday was the hottest day of our summer here in West Virginia. When they tell you it’s not the heat, it’s the humidity…that’s pretty much true. The thermometer on the back of our house registered 103 at 4:00. Granted…that’s on a red brick wall on the west side of the house, but it’s under the eaves and out of direct sunlight. The humidity was only 63% but it felt like a sauna out there.

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Mr. FixIt went to town to help a friend price some antiques before his yard sale this weekend, so I stayed home in the air conditioning and finished up the plans for our trip to Colorado. I found some really great places to camp and didn’t have a bit of trouble finding available campsites. That’s the beauty of camping in September and October…the kids are back in school and summer vacations are all but over.

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As the sun began to slip toward the horizon, I went outside and took some pictures of this mystery plant that was here when I came onto the scene. Remember I told you it was all but dead in the basement and I emptied the two planters into a washtub along the fence? Well, they’ve gone crazy and now they’re blooming. The tallest blossom is as high as the fence! I ran a picture of it through a plant identification app on my phone (PictureThis) and it says it’s a Sun Star…otherwise known as a Star of Bethlehem. I’m not totally convinced, but it might be. Anyway, the flowers are beautiful. The plant is hardy. But, you do need to dig up the bulbs and store them in the basement over the winter.

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I walked around the property as it got dark and suddenly, I started seeing movement out of the corner of my eye. I looked up and there were bats swooping down all around me and that kinda freaked me out a little so I headed back to the pool where Mr. FixIt was sweeping and cleaning. All this hot weather has really made the algae go nuts so we need to get after it with some chemicals today. He asked me to go turn off the pump so I could back flush it. Well, as soon as I tried to turn it off, the switch broke right off! I was reaching the end of my rope by this point. It was still in the 90’s, I was sweating buckets, I was being chased by bats, and now I’d broken the pump switch. 

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It was getting pretty dark. I went in and got the head lamp and Mr. FixIt handed me a flathead screwdriver. I unplugged the pump, got down on the ground and managed to flip the switch back to the on position. When we plugged it back in, it turned right on. By this time, we had a hose running in the pool to bring the water level back up. We have had no rain to speak of in weeks and between that and all the back flushing, we were running pretty low.

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I sat down on the deck. I could feel the sweat running down my cheeks and made a decision…it was time to turn off the lights and go skinny dipping! There is nothing more wonderful than slipping into cool water when the world feels like an oven and it’s making you act just plain nasty. My dear friends Janine Pettit and Lesa McDermott just finished rafting the length of the Grand Canyon. It was 114 degrees every day. The nights got all the way down to 99 and they slept with wet towels over themselves to try to cool down. I cannot imagine that kind of heat. That was an incredible life experience…one they were both glad they did with twenty other Girl Campers. But, they neither one have a desire to do it again. 

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Anyway, the pool felt wonderful and it was like that candy bar commercial where the grumpy guy turns nice again once his sugar level comes back up. I could feel my shoulders relax and the tension leave my body. Mr. FixIt and I floated around and talked about the stars and the Colorado trip and the news of the day. We watched the heat lightning off in the distance. Soon we were friends again and laughing. 

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It’s important to feed each other in life. To look out for each other. To fight fair. To talk nice. When you fall short…you say “I’m sorry”. Marriage shouldn’t be “hard work”. Like all things, living and loving can challenge us. The challenge is loving and forgiving and trusting with a great big sense of humor. It’s easy to get grumpy when the weather is hot and sticky and things break. So, take my advice…turn off the lights, drop your drawers, and jump in the water!

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Stay cool, dear ones!

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?

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“While the earth remains, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night, shall not cease.””

\nGenesis 8:22 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2021-08-13T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/08/13/its-the-dog-days-of.html", "tags": ["Love","Wisdom","Anger","Forgiveness","Aging","Kindness","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/08/12/my-husband-has-ruined-me.html", "title": "My Husband Has Ruined Me", "content_html": "\n
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Mr. FixIt has ruined me. Let me explain.

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I’m updating the GPS unit I bought in 2014 as I was leaving Denver to drive cross-country to live on the farm. I do not believe it has been updated at all. I don’t know…maybe once? I’ve tried three different times over the last few days and I kept getting an error message. At first, it said to use the USB cord that came with the unit. I thought, if there was any chance whatsoever I still have the darned thing, it would be in the console of my truck. It took me a day or two to get it together and sit in 95 degree heat rummaging through stacks of unused paper napkins, CD’s (who even listens to those anymore?), receipts, packets of catsup and soy sauce, a slip of paper with a phone number on it that’s undoubtedly important, and that cool tool I bought to cut my seat belt and break the window if I ever find myself sinking to the bottom of a body of water in my F-150. Hey…I’m a Girl Camper…I’m always ready!

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Anyway, after tearing through the console for ten minutes or so, the USB cord wasn’t there. It was two more days before I got around to trying again. You remember every year when I sit down to do my taxes, the laptop always needs a dozen updates and it’s slow and I need to run a virus scan and the cleanup program and before I know it, three hours have passed and I’m finally ready to get to work? Well, that was yesterday afternoon. Argh! I decided to just order a new cord from Garmin, but I couldn’t find the link so I chatted with customer service. Tyrrone came online and gave me the link I needed. I was ALMOST ready to hit “send” on the payment when I thought some more. Maybe that cord…or one like it that would work…was in this special bag where I keep extra things like that.

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I set everything aside, pulled out the bag, and the second cord I tried worked! When I downloaded the update, i kept getting an error message that said, “File cannot be installed on this computer. Please try again.” After trying three times, I realized the Garmin Express file I had on my computer was outdated, so I tried updating it. Again, I got the same error message. I tried to uninstall the old version and got the error message, “Task cannot be competed.” 

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Breathe, Ginny…breathe.

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I chatted with customer service again and he sent another link to work around that and…the computer froze. OMGosh! Why does this have to be so hard? I rebooted the computer, ran through the steps and the program magically disappeared. Yes! That allowed me to download the installer for the new version, which worked out fine. Then, when I started the update, our internet is SOOOOOOOOO slow, as I’m writing this, the predicted time to download is 4 hours, 47 minutes! Ok…fine. I set the whole thing aside on the floor by my chair so there’s no chance I’ll accidentally unplug the darned thing and have to start over.

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Now, here’s where I tell you how my husband has ruined me. There was a time in my life when I would have just gone out and bought a new GPS. After all, this one is at least seven years old…it’s served me well. And, you can buy new ones now that are specifically geared towards campers. Sweet! However…they cost $300 or more. After being with my sweet West Virginia boy these last few years (West Virginians are known to be frugal and resourceful) his “frugality” is rubbing off on me! Darn it. I hate shopping now. I spend an inordinate amount of time researching things before I spring to buy them. I’ll often sit for a couple of weeks with items in an online shopping cart, only to go back in later and decide I didn’t really need that after all.

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See? Totally ruined. lol

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When we first got together, I just grabbed whatever I wanted off the grocery store shelves. Because, and this is my privileged past showing here, it had been many, many years since I had to consider the difference between the price of store brands versus name brands. At first, going shopping with him was immensely frustrating. Then something happened. He hugged me one day and told me we would never argue about money. Which told me, if there was ever anything we WOULD argue about, it would be money. I’ve learned to “watch my pennies so my dollars watch themselves.” We learned to compromise and he rarely buys store brand mayo anymore because it’s just gross. And…after all, the money we save takes us on great adventures! It’s important to be good stewards of the gifts God gives us…one of which is money. It’s even more important as we age.

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So, yeah…I’m ruined. But totally in a good way!

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?

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“Moreover, it is required of stewards that they be found faithful.”

\n1 Corinthians 4:2 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2021-08-12T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/08/12/my-husband-has-ruined-me.html", "tags": ["Wisdom","Choices","Marriage","Insight"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/07/28/packing-light.html", "title": "Packing Light", "content_html": "\n
\"Bush
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Bush Lily preparing to bloom; Elephant Ears behind

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I swore I wasn’t going to go to town yesterday. SWORE! But, Mr. FixIt reminded me I needed to have blood drawn so I gave in and went with him. We left about 11:00 and didn’t get home till 7:00 last night! There is no such thing as a quick trip to town. *sigh* The bad part was, as I sat in the lobby waiting to be called into the lab, I got to thinking. “Why on earth would that doctor want my blood drawn so soon? I just had it done last week!”

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I rummaged around in my purse and found the lab order. I read the whole thing then found, in small print at the top…Day of Service: 10/02/2021. For crying out loud…it was the order to have done the week before my followup visit. Oy! I took my name off the list and headed to the mall to walk with Mr. FixIt. We did our lap and stopped in the sporting goods store to see if there was anything interesting. There wasn’t. 

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We went to a local RV service and supply store and bought an electric hitch jack for the new camper. The one on it is a hand crank model and it takes forever to move up and down. Mr. FixIt will install it today and it will make setting up a breeze.

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Our next stop was the DMV to get the title of the new camper put in our names and get the plate. AND…pay the sales tax. Ouch. You know it’s coming, but you’ve had a couple of days to have fun with the camper and forget about the money you’re going to have to spend to make it legal. Ah, well…you can’t take it with you. Unfortunately, it was a three hour wait. Mr. FixIt elected not to come in with me. Lucky man. There was one person wearing a mask. Well, two…I was wearing one. There’s a variant out there people. Please be safe.

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I texted my sweetheart and proposed we use our gift certificate to Texas Roadhouse and get steak for supper. I mean…that’s the perfect reward for sitting in the DMV all afternoon, right? We picked up our meals and drove to the City Park and had a lovely date in the shade. A quick stop at Walmart, and we headed home.

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We are going camping this weekend so I need to stock the camper, get out our two trunks we use to store our camping supplies, and get things ready. This small camper is forcing us to be minimalists…something neither one of us are particularly good at. Well…one of us more than the other. lol It will be interesting to see how we do with the little lady.

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In the meantime…I am NOT going to town today!!!

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?

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““Travel light. Comb and toothbrush and no extra luggage. “Don’t loiter and make small talk with everyone you meet along the way.”

\nLuke 10:4 MSG\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2021-07-28T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/07/28/packing-light.html", "tags": ["Travel","Camping","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/06/12/a-comforting-routine.html", "title": "A Comforting Routine", "content_html": "\n
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Not ours...just an idea of what I want to create.

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Mr. FixIt and I have reached a lovely place in our relationship where we know what needs to be done around the place and, without really coordinating our efforts, we just start the next job at hand. I enjoy doing all the typically “male” jobs like riding the tractors to mow, trimming tree branches with the pole saw, or running the drain snake. I can tackle and accomplish just about anything I set my mind to, although...I do have to admit...it is getting just a little more challenging to do some things.

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For instance, I was mowing yesterday afternoon...trying to get as much done as I could before the next rain storm blew in. Down at the end of the far field, there are several old sycamore trees that have a tendency to lose some branches when we have hard winds. I have to stop the mower frequently to get off and move limbs before I can move on. Up and down, up and down. Finally, at the end of the afternoon and my umpteenth up and down, I discovered my right leg would simply not lift me up anymore. It had had enough, I reckon. Not to be discouraged, I just went around to the other side of the tractor and lifted myself up and over with my left leg. You just have to make do with what you got sometimes, don’t you?

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I didn’t get the fields mowed before it started raining hard enough to send me back to park the tractor in the building. I put my tools away and went to find Mr. FixIt. He had been around the side of the house trimming the last of that monster forsythia bush and loaded the trimmings up in the back of his truck. He was just backing up to the burn pile when I came out of the building. We congratulated each other for a good afternoon’s work and went inside to wash up for supper. 

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I love summer meals when you can just make sandwiches and call it good. No heating up the kitchen or doing a ton of dishes afterwards. Finishing off with some cold watermelon really hit the spot. It has been so hot and sticky the last couple of days. We enjoyed stretching out in the cool air conditioning and watched a couple old reruns of Frazier before we finished our last push for the day. Mr. FixIt went out to empty the branches from his pickup. I cleaned up the kitchen and opened some boxes that were delivered yesterday.

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I splurged and bought a couple of things I’ve been wanting. First, the food dehydrator I used last year has just about had it. The plastic trays have become so brittle, more and more pieces fall off every time I use it. So, after doing some research, and getting recommendations from friends, I ordered a COSORI Food Dehydrator. The trays are metal so I won’t have the breakage problem over time. And, the heat and fan are in the back so the air flows across the food and not up through it. That keeps you from having to rotate the trays as often. My friend Gail uses hers every day in the summer and swears by it.

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The other thing I got is actually a gift for the family. I’ve been wanting an outdoor movie projector and screen so we can have movie and pool nights here at the house this summer. Last year, we didn’t let the kids come out to swim. We didn’t know if Covid could spread in a pool and Mr. FixIt needed it to do his daily physical therapy exercises. And, of course, there wasn’t a vaccine then. This year will be different. Just about all of the family have been vaccinated and those that haven’t been are good about social distancing. Here’s a link that shows 20 ideas for outdoor movie nights! 

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I also ordered a few poster sized family tree charts so I could fill them out for the kids before they get here. That was my last chore of the day...filling out three of them. I have a couple more to do. The rains are moving out for a bit so we’ll be back to doing outdoor chores soon. The mowing never stops. I’m going to take a break this morning and join some gals from my high school class for coffee. We haven’t gathered since January 2020 so we are all really excited to see each other! 

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I hope you all are getting a chance to get outside and stretch your legs. We are knee deep in June, as my grandma used to say, and it truly is my favorite time of the year!

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?

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“Do all things without grumbling or disputing, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world,”

\nPhilippians 2:14-15 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2021-06-12T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/06/12/a-comforting-routine.html", "tags": ["Family","Fun","West Virginia","Love","Be Joyful!","Farm Life","Marriage","Friends"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/06/07/the-sunday-drive.html", "title": "The Sunday Drive", "content_html": "\n
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I grew up with a family that took Sunday drives. Most often, it was out to see Grandma and PopPop at the farm. But, sometimes we’d go visiting someone else or maybe pack a lunch and have a picnic at one of the many “Roadside Parks” that used to dot the two-lanes around the countryside. Sunday was when you went to church, and then you went for a visit or a drive...or both. When you were really lucky, you got a nap, too!

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Hubby #1 was a West Virginia boy...born and bred. We went for Sunday drives all the time...even when we lived in England. Hubby #2 was a Colorado boy and using up precious natural resources driving around with no purpose was beyond reprehensible. Mr. Virgo LOVED going for drives, but they were seldom on Sunday’s because of his work schedule. And now, Mr. FixIt...another dyed in the wool Mountaineer...is up for a drive any day of the week.

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We hooked up the utility trailer midday and loaded up the mowers to head to the farm. It was 86 degrees by the time we were done. I think we hit a speed record for mowing and getting out of there. When we got home, We vacuumed the pool and put chemicals in. Then, it was time to go for a Sunday drive. We decided to go into town for carry out, then head to City Park to dine al fresco. It was downright pleasant with a breeze in the shade of the many huge trees. 

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When we were done, we stopped for gas then I asked...”Where to now?” First we went to visit one of the grandkids but they weren’t home. We decided to go out the road at the top of the hill not far from our house to check on the growth of the tomatoes in the high tunnels. They’re doing great...a good four feet high already. Then, when we were almost home, Mr. FixIt wanted to drive out another road to see if these people had finished building their house. 

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When we headed toward home, we came to a fork in the road. 

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“In all the years I’ve lived here, I have never been out this road.” He pointed straight ahead so that’s where we went. Another single track road with nowhere to pull off. We drove along and saw old farm houses and lush fields of hay. We hoped someone was going to mow it. There were many, many people cutting and bailing their hay this week. We finally came to a dead end and turned around. As we came to a small creek bed cutting through bedrock, I caught the familiar song of the Wood Thrush. I stopped and turned off the car and listened. There were other birds, but the Wood Thrush is what I identify most readily. It is the song of The Farm. For as long as I’ve lived, I’ve heard their sweet calls echoing through the holler up behind Grandma’s house. I do not hear them here at the house, but just a few miles away, in the dense lush West Virginia woods...there they were. I recorded them for a bit, then I just sat back and listened. What a treat!

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The Song of the Wood Thrush

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On our way home, we passed a beautiful field with the sun setting behind it. We found a big old houseboat looking decidedly out of place with the tall grasses growing up around it. It must have been a beauty in its day. Then, the last shot of the day was some beautiful white-faced calves laying in a field while their mamas grazed nearby. One little bull calf stood and watched his mama as if to find out if he should be worried about us. My Uncle Howard always raised white-faced cattle simply because he loved to look out his window at breakfast and see them in his field. I can see why. They are lovely creatures.

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That was a wrap on the weekend. Sleeping in the camper was absolutely heavenly! I slept like a rock! Many things to accomplish this week as time is ticking away and the girls will be here before I know it!!!

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?

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“How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity!”

\nPsalms 133:1 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2021-06-07T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/06/07/the-sunday-drive.html", "tags": ["West Virginia","Love","Peace","Be Joyful!","Memories","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/06/04/play-ball.html", "title": "Play Ball!", "content_html": "\n
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I gained a whole lot more family members when I married Mr. FixIt. One of my bonus granddaughters plays softball for our Alma Mater and the league tournament began this week. They lost their first game to our arch rivals. They won their second game and, since our rivals lost their second, we played them again last night. Our girls came out like the fighters they are and it was touch and go there for a while. But, ultimately the rivals won and ended our granddaughter’s season. She’ll be a senior next year and that will be the last WV grandchild to graduate high school.

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How quickly those growing up years seem to fly...when it’s not you doing the parenting. You never feel like it flew by till it’s over. While you’re in the midst of it all, it seems to last three lifetimes. You think you can’t wait till all those travel games and practices are over...until they are. Then you mourn the loss. 

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It seems to be that way with most things in life, doesn’t it? When you’re young and just starting out, it feels like forever till you’re your parents’ age. Then, all of a sudden, you have great grandchildren and you wonder how in the heck it happened in the blink of an eye. I really enjoy being the grandparent watching my grands growing up and achieving big things. Daughter #1 will be here with the girls at the end of the month. She’s taking Big to look at colleges. Wasn’t she just in kindergarten last year? 

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I love watching my daughter parent her girls. I love when the lightbulb goes on in her mind and she “gets it”. She used to complain that we let her little sister get away with MUCH more than she could. Now she realizes no two kids are the same and what worked with one, doesn’t necessarily work with the other. I love when she turns to me for advice, or a recipe, or to confirm the date of her great-grandma’s birthday. (Which she got right, by the way.)

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I look back over my life and wonder which part was the best. Was it when I was young and ignorant of the ways of the world...newly married and living in England? Was it when my first child was born there and my mom flew all that way to come see her? Was it the lean years with Hubby #2 as we worked hard to put him through medical school...or was it the fat years when he practiced medicine and Daughter #2 came along? Was it becoming a grandmother for the first time? Was it when I married Mr. Virgo on the deck of my favorite restaurant overlooking Mt. Sopris in the distance, surrounded by family and friends? Was it when I went into the wilderness of Colorado as a new widow and came out a different and stronger woman? Was it living on the farm...the home of my heart? 

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I think, in looking back, EVERY time is the best time. I know for a fact that NOW is the best time. I’m married to my best friend. I live in the country on five acres. I have an amazing family. I have a camper, my health, and the means to live a comfortable life. Getting to watch a softball game in person or watching a swim meet online, or hearing our great granddaughter say, “I love you, Gigi!” Yep...this is the best time of all!

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?

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“May you live to see your children’s children....”

\nPsalms 128:6 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2021-06-04T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/06/04/play-ball.html", "tags": ["Family","Fun","West Virginia","Gratitude","Peace","Wisdom","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/05/28/days.html", "title": "3,000 Days", "content_html": "\n
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Grandma’s Peonies

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While Mr. FixIt busied himself fixing the door into our pole building, I headed to the farm to bring some more stuff home. I have to admit...I stretched out on Grandma’s bed for a half hour before I packed up the truck. Soaking up the atmosphere. It feels good. I really don’t have a whole lot left out there...but I don’t pack the truck too full with each load. It gives me more trips to the farm! I canceled the Dish Network account out at the farm this morning...thus ending a 23 year run with them. It will be interesting to find out how long that phone number has been in the family!

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Wisteria

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I had a little walkabout and photographed Grandma’s flowers. I think her peonies are the prettiest I’ve ever seen. The irises are lovely, and since irises need to be thinned on occasion, I’m going to bring just a few over to the Ponderosa and make a special flower bed out near my new mini-campground we’re putting in. I also have a she-shed in my future that I want to build out there as part of my little compound for gathering my girlfriends and campout. I have it pictured in my mind. Now I just need to gather old doors and wood to build it with! I have so many projects I want to complete here at the Ponderosa. I do believe, once it’s complete, it shall be renamed...what? Marshmallow Ranch, of course!

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Clematis and Carolina Spice Bush

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I got the nicest note from Frank and Beans on Wednesday night. They were on their way down to WV to work on their cabin, so when I was finished loading what I wanted to bring home yesterday, I headed up to see what’s going on. They have one of those driveways that are very common in these West Virginia hills...straight up! Well, not really...but it sure seemed that way. I jumped out of the truck to greet my newest friends and look at their place. It’s beautiful up there and they have a view that looks right out over the treetops. It reminds me of pictures taken above the canopy of a rainforest...but without the monkeys!

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Iris, foreground...Rhododendron, background

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When they had their driveway graded, the folks doing the work found a huge rock in the shape of a heart. It has special meaning to Frank, so I brought them another heart shaped rock I brought home from Colorado and gave it to them as a housewarming gift. I couldn’t stay long, but we vowed to stay in touch, and they reiterated I am welcome to stay at the farm anytime. Just sitting on the porch during a rainstorm will be a huge treat, let alone getting to stay for a day or two.

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Iris

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I stopped at the store on the way home and fixed a quick supper. We have been dining on the deck every night under the pergola. We’ve only stayed out long enough to turn the market lights on a couple of times because we’ve been so busy with projects. But I envision more late nights out there as we catch up a little. Especially when the kids are here. I’m looking forward to doing more entertaining, as well.

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Iris

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It’s supposed to rain today and the weather will turn quite cool over the next few days. The nights will be especially cool...good sleeping weather. I have discovered something very interesting. Now that I write in the spare bedroom, I am sleeping much more soundly when I get up and go to our room. Something about separating “work” from home has really improved my sleep hygiene. I sure wish TOW-Wanda was here and fixed already...I’d really enjoy sleeping out there on these cool nights. That’s what I get for procrastinating getting her to the RV Doctor!

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Multiflora Rose

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Oh, and another thing...just as a matter of course. Today marks 3,000 days since Mr. Virgo died. I never could have dreamed of this life...of experiencing joy and happiness and deep love again. I couldn’t picture myself surviving that loss, let alone coming out the other side with a beautiful and fulfilling life. I just thought I would share that with you so that...if you are bereaved...there is hope for a good life down the road. I know it’s such a hard, hard journey...but a good life is worth working for.

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?

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“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

\nJeremiah 29:11 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2021-05-28T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/05/28/days.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Grief","Positive Energy","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Choices","Change","Widow","Marriage","Healing"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/05/22/on-mr-fixit-time.html", "title": "On Mr. FixIt Time", "content_html": "\n
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When you’re retired, things aren’t quite as scheduled as they are when you have limited time to get projects completed. This can be a good thing if you normally stress out about things that you envision need to be finished in a certain period of time. However, once you hit retirement, things may not be done in a timely fashion. I have discovered there are two time configurations in our house...my time, and “Mr. FixIt Time”. Now, do not get me wrong, when this man gets a job done, it is as good or better than any professional you’d have to pay the big bucks to. But...it may take a little longer than you particularly care for.

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We bought this pergola three years ago at the end of the season. We got it half price. I was sure we would be packed up and moved and living on our property near town by then, so I asked him to just put it in the building and we’d put it up at the new house. The new house got pushed back then one day I looked out and the pergola was being erected on the deck. And, I liked it! We went out and bought commercial grade market lights at the end of the season...half off. I wanted to put them up right away, but Mr. FixIt wanted to run electric out to the deck and have a nice GFI outlet to plug them in so we wouldn’t have to run an extension cord. Smart man!

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Then he had his strokes last spring. Between that and the pandemic, that was the end of the home projects for pretty much an entire year. Now, I’m happy to report, other than the usual aches and pains of arthritis, my sweet man is back in action and he’s been blazing through these jobs...one after another. Our son-in-law came and helped him dig a trench to run the electric line through a conduit out from the building to the deck. Once they were finished, my step-daughter and I hung the market lights and I just love the way they turned out. If I’d have had more energy, I would have cleaned the table and dressed it better, but I did good to take the pizza box off and put the chairs in. It was a long day.

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I didn’t get nearly as much done indoors as I wanted but I made progress on two rooms. I’ve been going through papers that need to either be burned or shredded. I sent the kids home with some things I thought they might like. The doctor called and my brother was discharged and heading back to the mountains. He was feeling a lot better and very anxious to get home. 

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It was a busy and productive day and I am incredibly grateful to have this wonderful partner to share my life with and to work beside. Even if he doesn’t work on MY time schedule! 

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?

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“But do everything properly and in order.”

\n1 Corinthians 14:40 CEV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2021-05-22T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/05/22/on-mr-fixit-time.html", "tags": ["Fun","Love","Farm Life","Marriage","Control"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/04/25/when-you-take-your-goats.html", "title": "When You Take Your Goats to Arby’s...You Must be in West Virginia!", "content_html": "\n
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We got in last night exactly twelve hours after we pulled away from the condo. Although we were tired and felt like we’d gone ten rounds with an alligator, the trip itself was so smooth. I knitted for the first four hours or so, then switched off and drove the rest of the way. I so enjoy our time together and our conversations. Interspersed with stretches of companionable silence, we solve the world’s problems and share stories and laughter. This was truly a treasured trip I will always remember.

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Just after crossing the border into West Virginia, I suggested we pull into Lewisburg and get a bite to eat. As we got in line at the drive through, I noticed something moving in the trailer in front of me. It was a little dark, but then he turned around the corner and I could see what was inside. 

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Goats!

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Two beautiful white nanny goats and a black billy goat were happily munching on hay as their owners went through the drive through for sandwiches. I smiled and turned to my sweet husband.

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“We’re home!”

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?

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“Happy are you who sow beside all waters, who let the feet of the ox and the donkey range free.”

\nIsaiah 32:20 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2021-04-25T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/04/25/when-you-take-your-goats.html", "tags": ["Travel","Fun","West Virginia","Road Trip","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/04/23/todays-good-mood-brought-to.html", "title": "Today’s Good Mood Brought to You by...God’s Paintbrush!", "content_html": "\n
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The worst day at the beach beats the best day at the office. It’s been a long time since I’ve worked in the confines of four walls and a desk, but I have vivid memories. Yesterday’s chilly temps didn’t take away our enjoyment of the Outer Banks. Although it was a tad too nippy for me to go the beach, we did venture out for dinner and another glorious OBX sunset. I spent the majority of the day knitting and listening to a roaring campfire on my headset...hoping to thaw out my frosty toes. It didn’t help. I finally gave in and turned on the furnace. At the beach! That’s just wrong!

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As Mr. FixIt and I drove to the restaurant for carryout last night, I asked if he’d had a good week. He remarked that he really had...it was very relaxing. I really love having people join us at the beach. Our condo is actually a double unit with a one bedroom on one side and an efficiency apartment on the other. We have had my son-in-law’s parents one year, and my stepson and family another. Both trips were great fun and full of sightseeing and long days on the beach. We both needed a lower key trip this year. With so much going on in our lives, it felt really nice to just kinda kick back, stretch out and take a nap every day, and knit. I hardly cooked. I made a hearty breakfast yesterday morning, but most of our meals have been takeout picnics. 

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Knitting: Sock Yarns, Shawl Pattern, Shawl Yarns

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There’s something to be said for that. We didn’t haul a lot of food down. Honestly, we didn’t bring half of what we usually drag down here. The only thing I would have done differently was bring a heavier coat and my favorite chairs. Mr. FixIt likes the folding ones with the table simply because they are lighter and easy to carry. I, however, love my padded club chairs and I promised if we bring them next time, I’ll be in charge of toting them everywhere. The furniture in our condo has seen it’s better days and really isn’t very comfortable. The only comfy place I sat the whole week was when we drove places. Next year...we go for comfort!

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One more day. Why does vacation take so long to get here and so quick to be over?

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?

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“From the rising of the sun to its setting, the name of the Lord is to be praised!”

\nPsalm 113:3 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2021-04-23T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/04/23/todays-good-mood-brought-to.html", "tags": ["Travel","Love","Be Joyful!","Memories","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/04/20/adjust-your-dreamsagain.html", "title": "Adjust Your Dreams...Again!", "content_html": "\n
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When Mr. Virgo and I were beginning to think about retirement, I was adamant about one thing. I was NOT going to spend my retirement sitting in front of the television all day, every day...day in and day out. It wasn’t going to happen. That’s when I struck upon the idea of getting a camper. He was an avid golfer and I figured he would be thrilled to toodle along with me, towing our little house on wheels from course to course. Surprisingly, he agreed and we started looking for the perfect camper.

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Fast forward a few months and he had died, along with so many dreams of the future we had planned. Television was no longer a part of my life, but the price I paid for quiet evenings was dreadfully steep. I disconnected the satellite and didn’t look back. For five years, I traveled and wrote and learned to live alone for the first time in my life. Eventually the pain of my grief eased, but I never, ever missed television one iota.

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When I came off the road and started living at the farm, the TV was hooked up to satellite and I felt it was important, living that far out on my own, to have some access to news and weather. So, I kept it...but didn’t watch it. Then...along came Mr. FixIt. 

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We had strict rules at the farm. We did not watch TV. We played cards, cooked dinner together, and went for long walks. We created projects to do and went for drives in the country and literally just sat on the porch and watched it rain. It was peaceful and he was so happy to be with me, he never pushed the “no TV” rule.

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Ahhhh....as with all things, the honeymoon was short lived. When we moved into the big house at the Ponderosa, there was a new set of rules. It started out slowly. The news. Maybe a sitcom or two. Then, before I knew what was happening, the TV was on WAY more than my liking. But, I learned something in losing Mr. Virgo. It wasn’t all about me. It was never meant to be all about me. I was just trying to make it so because it was something I loathed and I wanted him to loathe it as well.

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I’ve posted a meme here many times and included my Ten Rules in the care and feeding of a relationship. One of them was... “Don’t try to change him. You cannot change him. Do not, do not, do not try to change him.” I’ve given up on the TV thing. If Mr. FixIt wants to watch the TV till the cows come home...fine. I cannot change him. However, I CAN change me and how I respond to it. That’s when I started devoting the hours before bed to my writing and reading my devotionals and catching up with family and friends. 

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So, here we are at the beach. After the news, I picked up my iPad and came down to the bedroom to write. And, lo and behold, about ten minutes later, he popped his head in the door and asked if I wanted to head down to the sound to watch the sunset. You bet I do, sweetheart! I’m closing this for the night and going out with my love and watch the sun close on another lovely day away...just he and me...and no TV!

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?

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“But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.”

\nGalatians 5:16 ESV\n
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\n\n", "date_published": "2021-04-20T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/04/20/adjust-your-dreamsagain.html", "tags": ["Travel","Fun","Peace","Wisdom","Choices","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/04/15/when-we-get-spoiled.html", "title": "When We Get Spoiled", "content_html": "\n
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It isn’t normal to have temperatures in the 70’s and 80’s this early in the year in West Virginia, but when they go back to normal...we whine. Well, I whine, anyway. We are now back to much more seasonable temperatures here and with the rain, it feels a bit more like fall than spring. 

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We are preparing for our beach vacation to our timeshare on the Outer Banks. And, like any good Girl Scout, I’ve been watching the weather predictions for North Carolina. Every time we’ve been there together, there has been maybe one or two days out of the week that are a little cool with a little rain. This time, the highest temperature predicted is 68 on Friday. *sigh*

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When you’re planning a trip and you are unsure of the weather, you inevitably end up taking a lot more clothes than you expect to take. We have laundry facilities in our condo, so we really don’t have to take much, but I always end up with enough for a six month stay. I am absolutely determined to pare down the amount of stuff we tote with us. 

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Food will be easier to deal with this time because we feel more comfortable going to the grocery store. Being fully vaccinated and wearing double masks and gloves, we should be perfectly safe shopping for food down there. Everything we take down has to be hauled up to the second floor, so it will behoove us to pack lightly.

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In preparation, we ran the snake down the drain at the bottom of the back stairs and it went right through. I think if we do that every other month or so and keep it cleared out, we shouldn’t have any more trouble with it backing up. I was really happy about that. It means a bit more freedom for us to get out of Dodge more often.

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Honestly, it’s hard to believe it’s the middle of April already! I was hoping to have my camper down to the dealership to get repaired long before this, but it just hasn’t worked out. I’m really, REALLY ready to go camping! As soon as we get back and the weather is good, that’s the next thing on the list. I do have a camping trip planned for next month and I can’t wait!!!

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Things have gotten pretty much back to normal here since Mr. FixIt’s strokes last year...thank God! I count my blessings that it wasn’t any worse for him and his stamina is nearly back to where he was before. He can’t climb ladders anymore, and he has a little trouble with his fine motor skills in his hands...especially the left. But, if that’s the worst thing, we can handle it!

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God is so good to us!

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?

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“I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.””

\nJohn 16:33 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2021-04-15T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/04/15/when-we-get-spoiled.html", "tags": ["Health","Overcoming Obstacles","Gratitude","Farm Life","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/04/01/a-sweet-homecoming.html", "title": "A Sweet Homecoming", "content_html": "\n
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Happy April, everyone!

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I took my time over at the farm yesterday morning. I was awakened early by a hard rain driving down on the old tin roof. That house was built at least 85-90 years ago and it has the original roof on it...to the best of my recollection. That’s not 100%, you know. I laid there for at least an hour listening to the roar before I drifted off to sleep again. Having just that little sheet over the window kept the morning sun from rousing me too early. When I finally woke up, the creek was roaring. Unfortunately, I forgot to put the rain gauge out on Tuesday so I am not sure how much rain we had, but judging by the creek I’d say upwards of a half to three-quarter of an inch.

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I love the window right beside the bed in Grandma’s room. You get a nice breeze in the room without it being too cold. As time went on, Mr. FixIt and I texted our “Good Mornings” to each other. We both slept well. Finally, I decided it was time to gather my things and head back home. There’s always the prerequisite tidying up and packing the truck and having one more cup of coffee in Grandma’s chair. By the time I left, it was nearly 2:30. 

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As always, Mr. FixIt and I were tickled to see each other. Just a couple of days away is a nice break but not so long that we can’t stand it. I walked in the house to the sweetest smell of a Pineapple Upside Down Cake baking in the oven. My mom wasn’t a terrific cook, but she was known far and wide for this cake and she taught me how to make it...therefore, I’m a bit of a snob about it. I have to tell you...my husband makes an awesome version. His has a little less brown sugar, a little more butter, and he uses some of the pineapple juice in the cake batter making it incredibly moist. I rarely bother with the Maraschino Cherries any more, but he added them and I just thought he did a terrific job.

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The only job around the Ponderosa yesterday was removing the old storm door we are replacing. We need to paint that door as well as the end of the house, but we are in the middle of a few days of rain...and maybe even a little bit of snow! Last night’s low was predicted to be 29 degrees. Tonight and tomorrow night are 22 and 23 respectively. It’s hard to go back to chilly weather when you’ve had nice, hot days...but at least we don’t get spring blizzards like they do in Colorado.

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I am watching the redbud very closely because I’d like to make a batch of Redbud Jelly this spring. My friend Stacie gave me a jar of it last year and...oh, my....it is such a pretty and delicate pink. This time last year, I was still baking two loaves of sourdough bread every week and it tasted wonderful toasted with a slathering of real butter and some of that jelly. It’s no wonder I have all this weight to lose after eating my way through the pandemic! You can find the recipe for Redbud Jelly HERE.

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Today is my annual pilgrimage to see my dermatologist. I had a melanoma (in situ) removed from my arm in the summer of 2005, so I am extremely careful to get checked regularly. As we, ahem...ripen, it is vitally important that we watch our skin for any changes. We were the sun-worshippers, were we not? My girlfriends and I used to mix up a bottle of baby oil and iodine and use it for suntan lotion. Then, in the ‘80s and ‘90s, I used a tanning bed...never giving it a thought. My wrinkles are reminding me of those carefree...and careless...days of my youth. Get yourself checked, dear ones. I want you all safe and healthy and happy!

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?

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“and distributed among all the people, the whole multitude of Israel, both men and women, a cake of bread, a portion of meat, and a cake of raisins to each one. Then all the people departed, each to his house.”

\n2 Samuel 6:19 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2021-04-01T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/04/01/a-sweet-homecoming.html", "tags": ["Farm Life","Baking","Marriage","Cooking"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/03/27/knocking-down-the-to-do.html", "title": "Knocking Down the To Do List", "content_html": "\n
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Forsythia!

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As soon as coffee was consumed, it was time to start working on the security system. Mr. FixIt headed on out with the first camera and his tools and got to work. I messed around in the house and pretty soon, here he came back to ask for my help. He still has a little dexterity issue after the strokes last spring and, even though he hates to ask for help, he trusts my ability to do so.

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Little did he know, as soon as we began, my sugar took a tank and I could hardly hold the drill because my hand was shaking so much. I bailed and went inside to eat something. By that time, I had the mounting hardware lined up and taped to the soffit where he needed to drill, so he had it done in just a few minutes. Sometimes it takes more than one person to do a job that we used to be perfectly capable of doing alone. Those are bitter pills to swallow when you’ve been as independent as Mr. FixIt and I have.

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We played around with the camera angles till we got what I wanted to see. We have decided to add two more cameras to the building and another on the back of the house. It’s a little extra money, of course, but I am so impressed by the quality of the picture this thing gives. I haven’t had any experience with security systems except for that episode in Colorado after Mr. Virgo died.

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I let a young sales girl talk me into adding a security system to my house because it was dark on that hill, the green space went up the side of the mountain from the back of my house, and there were no street lights out there. It was really dark, and I was alone. We had talked about getting a system before, but hadn’t gotten around to it. I thought maybe this was the right opportunity.

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Remember how I’ve told you not to make big financial decisions in the first year after your spouse dies? Well, there are reasons I’ve told you that...because I made some pretty big mistakes. That security system from Vivint cost me a lot of money, then when I sold my house the following summer, I called to cancel. I was informed I needed to take the service with me to the next house because I hadn’t had the system long enough to cancel without penalties. I asked how much it would cost to just get out of the contract. I’ve forgotten the exact amount, but I think it was over $2000!

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This system is made by Cobra and you can buy it with two cameras for $229 on sale right now at Harbor Freight. Each additional camera is $99. But there are no monthly fees and you can record events, view remotely from an app on your smart phone, and it has an intercom. You can yell at intruders and tell them you’ve called the police. Pretty cool. At least I’ll know who comes and goes out there.

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The boxes from the Florida trip are emptied and preparations are being made for the next trip...a REAL trip...to the beach! I’m cautiously optimistic and hope the trend in covid continues to go down with more vaccines. We’ll see what happens after the craziness of spring break! I’m also preparing for a really BIG event! Daughter #1 and Company are arriving in late June and Little is staying with us for a week!!! OMGosh! I can hardly wait to see them. Daughter #2 called yesterday and she got a new job. So like is really good this week here at Chez Ponderosa!

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?

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“In all toil there is profit, but mere talk tends only to poverty.”

\nProverbs 14:23 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2021-03-27T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/03/27/knocking-down-the-to-do.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","West Virginia","Gratitude","Farm Life","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/03/13/day-a-room-with-a.html", "title": "Day 361: A Room With a View...and an Omission", "content_html": "\n
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We both slept pretty well the night of surgery so we awoke yesterday morning refreshed. I felt much stronger, but I had no voice. This often happens after being intubated. We managed to get up in time to catch the morning breakfast in the Starbucks in the hotel lobby. Hot oatmeal really soothed my throat. And I have to say...a cold brew coffee didn’t cause my stomach to revolt like it did before surgery so let’s hope I can drink coffee again! I love it so.

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There was no one in the dining area and we were quite a ways from the front lobby. We sat down at a table in the window and, with great trepidation...removed our masks to eat. It felt...weird. We didn’t have a hallelujah moment, because we understand science and we know we are in an area with lots of mutant virus and mask-shunning individuals. I must say, everywhere we’ve gone, people have worn masks. Until, Walmart. We’ll get to that.

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We didn’t dilly-dally around maskless. We finished eating and headed up to the room to pack for the move to the next hotel. I have to give kudos to the Courtyard Tampa Downtown for the first half of our stay. They work closely with the Norman Parathyroid Center in housing their patients before and after surgery and they couldn’t have been more accommodating. When I checked out, the front desk asked how my surgery went and was very sweet. Anything we needed when we were there, it was quickly brought to us. They were so professional and attentive and the rooms were impeccable.

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Our trip to the new hotel was about 45 minutes. The weather in Florida right now is absolutely amazing! Just hot enough to warm your bones but not so much as to fry your brains. The app for the hotel has an interesting new covid creation built in. You can check in through the app on your phone and when your room is ready, a digital key turns green. You just walk up to the door with your phone in your hand and click “unlock” and the door...unlocks! Same with your room. This is really handy to minimize your contact with people in a pandemic.

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I love our room! We have a suite with a separate bedroom so I can take quiet naps and close the door when I write. No more trying to block out the sound of the television while I’m trying to concentrate. We have a small kitchen and the furniture in the living room is perfectly comfortable. We did our routine sanitation process upon arrival, but when I tried to put the fitted sheet back on the bed, it was one of those that doesn’t have a deep pocket. I knew if I had trouble even getting the sheet on, that we would be fighting to keep it on for the next five nights. We decided, since we needed to pick up some groceries, we would just buy a set of sheets that we know would fit. We can always use them on the bed at the condo so it’s not a waste.

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Now, Walmart. This was the first place we went to down here that was an indication of how people really feel about mask wearing. Since we are in a hodgepodge of people from all over the country, we were well aware of our surroundings. Mr. FixIt started to say something to those who didn’t have on masks, but I gently reminded him where we are and that I really don’t want to get killed this close to having surgery. We wore double masks and just steered clear of the unmasked folks and got the heck out of there as fast as we could. We came home and put the groceries away and both stretched out for a much needed rest.

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I can’t believe how wiped out you feel after surgery. They say the third day is the worst, and that’s what I’ve usually found to be true. We’ll wait till Monday to explore the beaches and let the weekend crowd thin out. Although, we are into spring break now, so who knows. We have a pool here, but I am not sure it’s outside. We’ll play it by ear. It’s nice to not have a distinct plan in place.

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And now, for the omission. Yesterday marked eight years since Mr. Virgo died. I’ve been so busy with the trip arrangements and the surgery, that I hadn’t really given it a lot of thought. My dear friend Deneene texted me first thing yesterday morning to tell me she was thinking of me. My first thought was my surgery. Then she asked if it was Mr. Virgo’s Angelversary. It’s not that I forgot. I certainly didn’t. I’ve thought of it a number of times in the last couple of weeks. As a matter of fact, when they offered me the 11th for my surgery, I thought it couldn’t be more fitting. A year since the start of the covid crisis. And eight years since Mr. Virgo’s death. Having this surgery is an offer of hope for a healthier, pain free life. Why not have it done during a time that would normally be remembered with solemn sadness? Why not bring an element of hope into the darkness. We have vaccines. We have healing. We have hope for a better tomorrow. 

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This is what eight years of grief and healing have taught me.

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Life is uncertain...and way too short.

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In the midst of the worst crisis of our lives, we still have a choice...and choices bring power.

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Time softens the memories of acute grief. It gives us space from the horrific anguish.

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You never get over an epic loss...but, you do get through it. You learn to walk around that hole in your heart without falling in every time.

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I’ve learned it’s ok to be happy again and to find a life again and to love again without forgetting the person you still love who isn’t here.

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There is room in a new marriage for the memories of those you love and have loved before, but it takes a strong man to marry a widow...a confident man who knows his place in your heart and isn’t threatened by ghosts.

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I am so blessed to have found such a man in Mr. FixIt. He is my rock and my roll.

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?

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“Most important of all, you must sincerely love each other, because love wipes away many sins.”

\n1 Peter 4:8 CEV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2021-03-13T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/03/13/day-a-room-with-a.html", "tags": ["Grief","Love","Aging","Peaceful Moments","Memories","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/03/03/day-insomnia-and-the-three.html", "title": "Day 352: Insomnia and The Three P’s", "content_html": "\n
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Ever have one of those nights where you just can’t seem to turn your mind off? I’ve had way too many of those over the last several years. Grief messes with your circadian rhythms. Well, it’s probably more the cellphone usage in an effort to pass the hours till it’s time to get up. Let’s face it, I’ve never been a great sleeper, anyway. Add Politics, a Pandemic, and Parathyroid disease and you have a recipe for insomnia. 

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Last week we had an appointment scheduled to make our wills. I was a basket case for days over that. It just stirred up too much angst and grief in me. I mean, who wants to go plan for the possible loss of another husband, right? We ended up having a phone conference to get things started, but I knew as soon as they were through with the paperwork, we would have to go into the office and read it over and sign papers. With that thought in mind, I was awake most of Monday night.

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Once we had that phone conference and we actually said the things out loud, yesterday turned out to be really easy. We went over everything and got it all signed, dated, and notarized. Once we were finished and had kibitzed with the attorney for awhile over old Parkersburg stories, we took our very important papers and headed off for a late lunch and some shopping. The day was sunny, crisp, and beautiful. And, I felt a lightness in my chest that surprised me. I turned to Mr. FixIt and smiled.

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“I feel like such a grown up!” I said with a conspiratorial grin.

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We both laughed, considering I’m soon to be 68 and he just turned 69. 

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“Is this what being all grown up feels like?”

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It’s just one of those things you do as a responsible adult. It’s something Mr. Virgo and I put off because we felt we had enough time. That’s the way it is, isn’t it? We always think we have time. But time is such a slippery thing. Before you know it, too much of it has passed and maybe it’s difficult to have the conversation, or maybe you’re afraid you aren’t on the same page, but at this stage in the game, it’s just downright irresponsible to go any longer without one. So, now it is finished and we’re all grown up.

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I wonder what I want to be...now that I’m a grown up? I guess there’s still time to figure that out!

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?

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“When we were children, we thought and reasoned as children do. But when we grew up, we quit our childish ways.”

\n1 Corinthians 13:11 CEV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2021-03-03T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/03/03/day-insomnia-and-the-three.html", "tags": ["Family","Growth","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/02/25/day-sunshine-is-good-medicine.html", "title": "Day 346: Sunshine is Good Medicine!", "content_html": "\n
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We had an important appointment yesterday...one we’ve been putting off for too long. Time to make our wills. Not everyone dies with a will, but in my experience, if you really love your spouse you make a will. I didn’t realize how stressful this simple exercise would be for me. When you talk about wills, you are really talking about death. And I didn’t adequately prepare myself for all the feels that would well up surrounding that. 

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Frankly, it made me upset. It didn’t occur to me that it would...but there it was. And when I get upset like that, it’s right in the pit of my stomach and makes me sick. It always has, so I don’t know why I’m surprised when it happened yet again. But there’s a level of shame in there....like, I should be stronger than this. 

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Yesterday was warmer than it has been since last fall...clear up to 72! I was wandering around the house, preparing to go and willing myself to calm down and not let my nerves get the best of me. Mr. FixIt finally said, “What’s going on, honey? You ok?” He could tell...he knows me so well. I almost cried. I told him I was just freaking out a little and to give me some time.

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I went back to the bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed and breathed slowly. I took something to settle my stomach. Then I had a brilliant idea...maybe we could have the appointment over the phone. I called the attorney’s office and they said that was absolutely doable...they would call me back in half an hour.

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When they called, I was settled in my big red chair and Mr. FixIt in his. And in the comfort of our home, we loved each other through what was surprisingly difficult for me. I am so blessed I have a loving and supportive husband who really “gets” me. It didn’t matter one bit to him whether we had the appointment at home or in the attorney’s office or even if we rescheduled. His primary goal was my comfort doing something he knew upset me. I love him so much for all these little things.

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The sun was gorgeous and the air was warm with the early breath of spring. I sat out on the steps of the deck and turned my face to the sun and let its warmth creep into my bones. Mr. FixIt went out to change the oil in my truck, and I curled up under a blanket and took a nap. When I got up, all was right in the world again. I am so grateful I am past the age when I beat myself up for not being “perfect”. I am what and who I am and so is my husband. This is why we are such a good team...it may not have worked between us when we were young and dumb. This way, I think we got the best version of each other.

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?

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“I can do all things through him who strengthens me.”

\nPhilippians 4:13 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2021-02-25T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/02/25/day-sunshine-is-good-medicine.html", "tags": ["Health","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Love","Kindness","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/01/17/day-what-will-this-day.html", "title": "Day 307: What Will This Day Bring?", "content_html": "\n
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Our days run together punctuated with high drama and mundane tedium. Since before Christmas, I have spent many hours every day...snuggled in my really awesome new recliner...moving those posts from Facebook to my website. Day after day...it’s pretty much the same. Which breakfast should we have today? Get the second cup of coffee. The hours are filled in between with writing. We don’t really eat lunch so the next big event is “What shall we have for supper?” Then it’s news and I’m off to write my post.

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The television drones in the background. I half watch old reruns of Andy Griffith and Frazier while I work. I can pretty much tolerate anything but westerns. We hit pause and discuss something that strikes me in a post written the year I moved into Grandma’s farmhouse....something funny, something sad. We enjoy the rhythm of marriage in our 60’s. It’s hard to be out and about like we were BC (Before Covid). So we’ve kind of adopted this sort of life-on-pause moment of comfort and acceptance...and immense gratitude that we don’t have to go through this alone. I know how much harder this would be if it would have happened when I was actively grieving.

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We are happy when a day goes by without a breaking news bulletin. We are happy when we laugh together over a funny sitcom. We are happy when we can sit in companionable silence and catch one of us smiling at the other. We forgive when close quarters cause frayed nerves and terse words to escape. We love even with the extra padding and lack of motivation. We share toast and tea and time.

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We’ve been having snow off and on. Big fat fluffy flakes coming down all willy-nilly. Mr. FixIt says “Blizzard!” I say “Squall!” We laugh. Inside jokes are a big source of entertainment. I love when a relationship gets to the point when you can say “Remember when...?” He went out to check something the other day and about busted himself slipping on the ice. I ask him to please wear his boots instead of tennies in the snow. He calls out “Be careful!” when I take out the trash. We’re “of a certain age” and we’ve got each other’s back.

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The days may seem to run over each other and blend together but I’m telling you this...if they don’t hold drama from hour to hour, not knowing what’s coming next, wondering what disaster has befallen us now....well, that is a good day as far as I am concerned. I can settle down in my big red recliner and pass the time in peace. Let us pray the days ahead are just this way.

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?

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“I have told you this, so that you might have peace in your hearts because of me. While you are in the world, you will have to suffer. But cheer up! I have defeated the world.”

\nJohn 16:33 CEV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2021-01-17T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/01/17/day-what-will-this-day.html", "tags": ["Family","Hope","Peace","Wisdom","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/12/27/day-wrapped-up-warm.html", "title": "Day 286: Wrapped Up \u0026 Warm", "content_html": "\n
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As soon as Christmas was over, I told Mr. FixIt we need a little down time. There are things that need doing in the coming weeks, but right now there is nothing more pressing than fixing a meal every day, knitting, and maybe watching a movie or taking a nap. I love Christmas, but I love the week after just as much. 

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If you’ve been around here long, you know about my fur coat. In 2007, Mr. Virgo bought me a full length Icelandic Blue Fox fur coat. We lived near Aspen and spent a good deal of time there. As a matter of fact, when I first started dating him, Mr. Virgo lived in Snowmass so I was up there a lot. Winter in Aspen is truly magical and wandering town in the snow was a cold proposition. I mentioned how cold I was one day. The following winter, this baby was under the tree. 

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I know...I was torn, too. I mean, PETA and fur and controversy versus being that warm and toasty? Warmth won me over and I wore that thing to the grocery store....everywhere. I didn’t care...it was the warmest I’d ever been in the winters of Colorado. I continued to wear it, even after Mr. Virgo died. But one winter, I wore it to the Winter Concert at my granddaughter’s grade school. It was one of the poorest inner city schools in the area and I was embarrassed. I even wadded it up and sat on it during the concert.

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The following year, I moved to West Virginia. There aren’t too many places you can wear a coat like that in the Mountain State. I wore it to coffee once when I met my high school girlfriends. They all had fun trying on the coat and having their picture taken, but I soon felt the coat just wasn’t “me” anymore. That’s when I had my friend Ginny cut off the top of it and turn it into a throw for the bed on my camper.

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I’ve dragged this thing around with me all over the country. It has comforted me when I was grieving. It has kept me warm around the campfire with I travel with my camping girlfriends. The last big camping trip I took in the fall of 2019 with the Girl Camper Raffle Trailer, the lining started coming out so I carefully folded it and draped it over the back of the loveseat in the family room.

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Since we had a White Christmas, the daytime temperatures haven’t been above freezing. And, since my entire goal yesterday was to sit in my new recliner and knit with some yarn my dear friend Gail sent me, I decided I’d be much warmer with my fur thrown over my lap. I gathered up what I needed and stitched the loose life of the lining and before long, I was snug as a bug in a rug...knitting away and watching football as Mr. FixIt snoozed off and on throughout the afternoon. 

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It was such a cozy feeling...kind of like loving bookends. I am so incredibly blessed to have such thoughtful men in my life...be they present in memory or in the recliner across the room. I couldn’t have been happier, feet propped up, a lovely fur across my lap, the sun bright on the new fallen snow, knitting and listening to the soft, steady breathing of my sweetheart. The dichotomy between now and just five years ago is stark. I remember the darkness so vividly...which is why the light is so remarkable. It continually surprises me and I try very hard not to take a moment of it for granted.

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?

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“So I never stop being grateful for you, as I mention you in my prayers.”

\nEphesians 1:16 CEV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-12-27T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/12/27/day-wrapped-up-warm.html", "tags": ["Gratitude","Comfort","Love","Memories","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/12/02/day-wishes-to-prayers-coincidences.html", "title": "Day 263: Wishes to Prayers, Coincidences to Blessings", "content_html": "\n
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In the spring, I noticed my knuckles were swelling and painful. Arthritis? Could be. It’s also one of the myriad symptoms of hyperparathyroidism...of which I was unaware at the time. All I knew was, I was baking a lot and gardening a lot and my rings were becoming harder and harder to slip off and on. One day in particular really scared me. It took lots of uncomfortable coaxing to get my rings off. I certainly didn’t want to run the risk of having to get them cut off. I’ve seen that done and it isn’t pleasant for the recipient. Once I managed to get the rings off that time, they went to the safety deposit box. 

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All summer, my finger was naked and I hated that I couldn’t wear my wedding rings. However, I equally hated the idea of asking Mr. FixIt to buy me another wedding band...even a simple gold band. As the year wore on, I thought I might broach the subject as a possible gift idea for Christmas, then the microwave bit the dust and there may be a trip to Florida coming up if this parathyroid surgery thing happens. Besides, we just bought these new recliners. I don’t need tchatchkes and I really have everything I could possibly want. I decided not to ask. But ohhhhh, how I wanted a ring on my finger. I did what I always do...I just handed it over to God and put it out of my mind.

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The other evening, Mr. FixIt was rummaging around in the basement for quite some time. When he came back up, he had a small case and set it on the floor in front of his recliner. I turned on the overhead light and sat on the floor to see what was in the box. It turned out to be some of his uncle’s “treasures”. Things like war memorabilia and old pocket watches that didn’t work. I am a sucker for things like this so I was having a big time.

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“Maybe my new wedding ring is in this box.”

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I looked up into my husband’s puzzled face. He knows my rings don’t fit but we’ve never spoken about it.

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I smiled. “I asked God to bring me a new one that fits.”

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He looked down into the box and picked something up. “How about this one?”

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It was old and worn and looked like a piece of an old brass tube. I buffed it hard on the carpet and the tarnished surface remained unchanged. I slipped it on my finger and...I know this sounds SO weird, but...it felt like it belonged to me. Like I’d worn it forever. It was absolutely the perfect size. As a matter of fact, I can’t even tell I’m wearing it. I instantly loved it. It felt like I’d found something just yearning to be back on someone’s finger to be loved again. I didn’t even care that it was rough and tarnished.

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Mr. FixIt smiled at my pleasure over such a simple thing. He pondered who the ring might have belonged to and when it was worn last. We went through the rest of the treasures and put the box away. I kept looking at my new wedding band and was happy as a little clam.

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We had to run to town yesterday. We never found the missing link of Mr. FixIt’s bracelet so we decided to stop at the jeweler to see if it could be fixed. While we were waiting, I slipped off the new/old ring and asked my sweetheart to see if the jeweler could buff it up a little. I went around and browsed at the sparklies. Finally, he stepped back over and handed me a ring. 

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“I don’t know about that old one, but they found this one for you to try.”

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I looked down at the shiny gold ring and back at him. 

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“This can’t possibly be the same ring!”

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“It is...one and the same. The jeweler just buffed it up!”

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Oh, my gosh, you guys. You could have knocked me over with a feather! I slipped this beautiful 16K gold band on my finger and sent up a thank you to Jesus. This was way above and beyond what I ever thought I’d get for Christmas. I would have been happy with the tarnished one, but this? Wow.

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My wish became a prayer. What seemed like an uncanny coincidence turned into such a sweet blessing. Not only did I get a new wedding ring that fits perfectly, but my sweetheart got to share something that once belonged to a very special man in his life. When his uncle was a widower and old and alone, Mr. FixIt used to go to his house every single day after work and fix his dinner for him. He took him wherever he wanted to go. He helped him around the house on his days off. I am so honored to share this piece of his past. I’m so grateful to be a part of this story.

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?

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“If you are a husband, you should be thoughtful of your wife. Treat her with honor, because she isn't as strong as you are, and she shares with you in the gift of life. Then nothing will stand in the way of your prayers.”

\n1 Peter 3:7 CEV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-12-02T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/12/02/day-wishes-to-prayers-coincidences.html", "tags": ["Positive Energy","Gratitude","Love","Wisdom","Be Joyful!","Memories","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/11/07/day-i-love-you-for.html", "title": "Day 238: I Love You for Who You Are...and Who You Aren’t", "content_html": "\n
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I met Nicole in one of the many hot springs pools lining the steppes at the river’s edge in Glenwood Springs. It was getting late and it was very cold...just a few days before Christmas. I had dinner earlier...alone...at the restaurant where Mr. Virgo and I were married. It was only the second time I visited Rivers Restaurant since his death and this one didn’t hurt as much. Nearly four years had passed and my life was on a new trajectory. I was healing.

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I sat in the pool closest to the river and watched the lights from town reflecting on the ripples of the Colorado River. Muted conversations drifted around me on the swirls of steam rising from the healing waters. A woman’s voice interrupted my reverie.

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“Do you mind if we join you?” A young couple in their late thirties stood at the water’s edge.

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“No...please. Join me!”

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Our conversation was easy and flowed from one topic to another as we enjoyed sitting under the stars...the cold air freezing a crown of glistening ice in our hair. God brings people together for reasons we cannot begin to understand and Nicole was my God appointment of the day. We shared contact info and soon were Facebook friends. I’ve never seen her again, but we bonded in our own way and I’ve enjoyed following her exploits over the years.

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Last night, when I sat down to write this, I opened Facebook and there she was...in a wedding dress, on the arm of a dark and distinguished looking man. She attached a link to a New York Times article featuring their “how we fell in love during the pandemic” story. I loved seeing that serene smile on her face. The love in their eyes was palpable. I skimmed the article and came to their vows.

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“I promise to love you for who you are...and who you are not.”

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I sat for the longest time letting that roll around in my mind. What an interesting phrase to share at your wedding.The more I thought about it, the more I really got it. I can totally see what she meant by that. I love Mr. FixIt for who he is...his kind and gentle spirit, his quick wit and sense of adventure, his rock steady love for me. And, I love him for who he isn’t....all the traits I’ve lived with in relationships past that didn’t mesh with my own. He isn’t jealous, possessive, or impatient. There isn’t a mean bone in his body. I love him just as much for who he is not as I do for who he is.

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I thought about the pandemic and the timeline of our relationship. I can’t imagine starting a new relationship in the midst of all the craziness of 2020. That being said, I can’t think of anyone I’d rather be holed up with than Mr. FixIt. This year has been intense...between the pandemic and two strokes and quarantine and staying home raising a garden and canning everything in sight and taking care of a little black cat and two farms....we’ve been stuck to each other like glue. 

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I always took pride in the fact that Mr. Virgo and I never, ever raised our voices to each other. In my relationship with Mr. FixIt, I’ve realized maybe that wasn’t the healthiest thing. I held a lot in back then. I had a hefty fear of abandonment, especially after a painful divorce in 2000. I didn’t want to rock the boat. I needn’t worry about that with Mr. FixIt. We speak from the heart and sometimes have “vibrant discussions”. It’s by far the healthiest relationship I’ve ever had. And the most fun!

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I love the circuitous route my life has taken, where it’s led me, and those whose path I’ve crossed...if only to read a story about love in the time of Covid. And getting to live my own.

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?

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“You did not choose me. I chose you and sent you out to produce fruit, the kind of fruit that will last. Then my Father will give you whatever you ask for in my name. So I command you to love each other.”

\nJohn 15:16-17 CEV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-11-07T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/11/07/day-i-love-you-for.html", "tags": ["Love","Widow","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/10/27/day-we-love-who-we.html", "title": "Day 228: We Love Who We Love", "content_html": "\n
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In fourth grade, she sat in the car and cried.

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“What’s wrong, sweetheart?”

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“I can’t tell you.”

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“Why not?”

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“Because...you’ll hate me!”

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“No, sweetie...there’s nothing in the world that would make me hate you! Tell Mama what’s wrong.”

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“I like to look at pretty girls.”

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There it was. The fork in the road. I wasn’t necessarily surprised. She was always a butterfly dancing in the wind. There was great sadness she tried to hide. I didn’t always understand her creativity, her mood, her fierce intellect. She was simultaneously immensely brave and terribly fearful. She could read at the tender age of seventeen months. And when she walked into a room full of people, she could FEEL all their feelings. When she took tests in school, her brain felt like 100 television sets were broadcasting different channels and her job was to pick which one had the right answers. 

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My baby girl. The one I waited so long to have. My last child.

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She was an exceptionally beautiful baby. Strangers would cross the street just to stand near us and look in her eyes and smile. She was what is commonly referred to as an “old soul”. She was incredibly sensitive.

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When she was in sixth grade, she cried on the steps of the school instead of joining in the class dance. In high school, I held her when she cried at the injustice of being called a “stupid effing Jew”. In adolescence, she struggled mightily. In college, they diagnosed her learning disability and she received accommodations. Things finally became a little easier for her. The room full of TV’s reduced to just five.

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She thought she needed to be something she wasn’t in order to receive the approval of others. Maybe I wasn’t openly accepting enough of her 4th grade confession. Maybe I tried to sweep it under the rug. If I did, it wasn’t because I wouldn’t love her if she was gay. It was because I knew she would face more challenges in life by others who wouldn’t accept her. And I hated that for her. She had already been through so much when I was ill, and then when her father and I divorced. For whatever reason, we didn’t really talk about it again till after a terrible breakup with a guy who drank too much and mistreated her. That brought her to her knees.

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I’ve always told her, she reminds me of that punching-bag Bozo the Clown we had when we were kids. Whenever she got knocked down, she came right back up. Every. Single. Time. I’m so proud of her. And when she finally found *K*, I was thrilled. Because she blossomed. She is who she really IS with her. They are so good together. They lift each other up and celebrate each other. They work toward their goals. They are best friends and they love and respect each other deeply.

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I will never forget the day she called me and said, “Mom, are you sitting down?”

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With slight trepidation, I said, “Yes.”

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“I’m going to ask *K* to marry me!”

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OMGosh! My heart exploded for her. After watching her struggle for all those years, trying to find herself, she was finally there. The rest of the conversation was filled with “congratulations” and “when is the wedding” and “what are your plans”. 

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I’ve had many prayerful moments about this. I am a Christian. In my prayers, I asked God to tell me what to do. I had people actually tell me I should just send them each a wedding gift and not go to the wedding. I’ve had people tell me we’re all going to hell. That’s not what God told me. He reminded me HE gave me this child to love and care for and protect...forever. And that’s what I will do...forever.

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She called me in tears the other night regarding the impending confirmation of a Supreme Court Judge who is not supportive of the LGBTQ community, tipping the majority. She asked, “What if they delegitimize our marriage???” Imagine her fear...her sadness...her frustration. I paused, took a deep breath, and said, “Sweetheart, nobody can ever take away the love you and your wife have for each other. NO ONE can take away your relationship. I don’t know what will happen to the paper that joins you. I don’t know what will happen in the courts and in the country and in the world. We’ll just pray that everything works out.” I do know this...God loves them, just as He loves all of us.

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I don’t have all the answers. I’m just a mom who loves her daughter to the moon and back. I want her to have the freedom to love who she loves...the same freedom I have and you have. I will fight for the rights of my children. When it is my time to stand before God and have a reckoning of my life, I will tell Him I loved the babies he gave me...no matter what...and I tried to do the best for them. That’s the best I can do.

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❤️

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“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us.”

\n1 John 4:18-19 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-10-27T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/10/27/day-we-love-who-we.html", "tags": ["Family","Love","God","Courage","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/10/15/day-gone-fishin-with-the.html", "title": "Day 216: Gone Fishin’ With The Boys", "content_html": "\n
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Of all things, the check engine light came on in my truck on Tuesday evening. We had to go find an auto parts store yesterday that could run a computer diagnostic test on it. There were three codes...all regarding misfiring in the cylinders. My guess is we need new spark plugs, a tune up, or we had a batch of bad gas. The light went off after she checked...which is what it’s supposed to do. And, it hasn’t come back on. We’ll keep an eye on it and hopefully, we won’t have anymore problems and I can get it checked out at home.

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I will have to say, there are a boatload more people here than we imagined there would be. So many people are working remotely now and if you can work from home, you can work from the beach just as easily. Gone are the days of long stretches of empty sand and sparsely attended restaurants, I’m afraid. On the plus side, the merchants are reaping an extended profit season and that’s really good for them.

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I visited my favorite knitting shop...The Knitting Addiction In Kitty Hawk. I was happy to see the owner doing well. I was so tempted to buy a nice project to work on, but I still have so much yarn left from my last trips to the beach, I made myself stick to something small. I found it in the cutest kits for Christmas ornaments. That kills two birds with one stone. We always buy a special ornament when we are on vacation. This way, we’ll still get our ornament, and it will be even more special because I’ll be making it.

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The kids went off to do their own thing yesterday so Mr. FixIt and I had all day to ourselves. We had so much fun! We packed up a picnic basket and the cooler, put it in the wagon, and headed to the beach...fishing gear in hand. Fortunately, the condo complex has built an enormous new ramp that goes up and over the dunes so carting gear out and back isn’t quite the chore it used to be. That being said, our foldable wagon does not have wide wheels for the sand. Once we got out on the beach, it was quite the chore dragging it to a socially distanced spot where we felt comfortable.

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We spent all afternoon on the beach. There was a steady breeze coming in off the ocean and I was just a little too cool. I ended up turning my chair to face the sun instead of the waves, wrapped a towel around my shoulders and read all afternoon. Now, THAT was exactly where I wanted to be...with my sweetheart, on the beach. I have been thrilled to see him perk up this week. He’s so much more like the old Mr. FixIt we all know and love. He has missed the beach so much. It’s in his blood and just being here has done wonders for him. 

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He and his son are meeting a friend today and going deep sea fishing on a charter. There will only be the three guys and two crewmen. We’ve been so worried about his balance since the stroke, and I was concerned about him being on the boat. But...it’s his son. It’s his life. It’s really overall safe and they’ll keep socially distanced. He’ll sit the majority of the time anyway. And...he needs this.

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Will I worry? Maybe I worried a little last night when he decided to go, but then I just handed him over to God. I know He’ll take good care of him. I’ll have a chat with my stepson...I know he’ll take extra special care of his dad, too. I cannot watch him 24/7/365. It’s part of the give and take of marriage. It’s part of me letting go and stop trying to control any possible outcome. It comes from prior loss...I know that. He still needs to have a normal life and he’s really doing much better. So, off he goes fishing with the boys and the girls are having a beach day. 

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God, please let him catch a big fish!

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❤️

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“Parents, don't be hard on your children. Raise them properly. Teach them and instruct them about the Lord.”

\nEphesians 6:4 CEV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-10-15T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/10/15/day-gone-fishin-with-the.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Travel","Overcoming Obstacles","Fun","Gratitude","Love","Courage","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/10/14/day-a-memorable-anniversary.html", "title": "Day 215: A Memorable Anniversary", "content_html": "\n
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We caught this egret having lunch in the reeds along the boardwalk as we explored the shops on the sound side.

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After a leisurely breakfast, we all went for a long walk down the boardwalk, looking in all the little shops and carefully avoiding crowds as much as possible. We used tons of sanitizer and as soon as more than three or four people came in a shop, we were out of there. We balanced feeling like we had as normal a vacation experience as possible with the least amount of risk involved and it felt good.

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Like I told you before, other than going on trips with my kids, and a couple with friends...I have never had a “family vacation” and that is what this family has always done. While it is a foreign concept to me, I must say, I have enjoyed it. My daughter-in-law and I have had time one-on-one to really get to know each other better. We have an agreement. If I cook, she cleans. It gives us time in the kitchen to work side by side. I really miss that with my girls. Having this bonus family to share that with has been lovely. We each have our own interests and go off to do our own thing then end up eating together and sharing what we did, looking at each other’s pictures. 

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We were on our way back from our walk when I stepped on the edge of the sidewalk, turned my ankle, and went down like a shot. Mr. FixIt tried but there was no catching me with that kind of momentum. I rolled over on my back and laughed because I didn’t really hurt myself...just my pride. But, by afternoon, I could certainly feel where I took a tumble...nothing serious. I never really think about fall risks when it pertains to me. I have been very careful when it comes to Mr. FixIt since his stroke because his balance has been off. Between that and having my first “old-lady-skin bruise” last week...it gives me pause. It reminds me my days are numbered. No fear. No vanity. No envy. Just...observation. Acknowledgement. This is ok. This is good. This is the natural progression of life. This is...interesting.

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I have a writing project with a tight turnaround so I’m going to be doing a little work on this vacation in the next day or so. I love the new opportunities that come my way that give me the opportunity to stretch my wings and write in a different style than I am used to. Today is Wednesday and the week is half gone. I’ve barely visited the beach yet. Today and Thursday are supposed to be our sunniest days so I’ll make sure I get out there as much as possible. 

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We had a lovely anniversary. We ordered carry out from High Cotton BBQ. I have to say...while it was fabulous the first time we ate there, subsequent visits have been disappointing. I think it’s because I bought my own smoker, smoke my own meats in small batches, and preserve it myself...I’ve come to like my BBQ best. Still, it was a lovely meal and fun to spend our anniversary with the kids. Here’s to many, many more healthy and fun anniversaries!

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❤️

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“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.”

\nEphesians 4:2-3 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-10-14T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/10/14/day-a-memorable-anniversary.html", "tags": ["Family","Travel","Memories","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/10/11/day-just-a-little-hour.html", "title": "Day 212: Just a Little 12-Hour Road Trip!", "content_html": "\n
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It is only 566 miles from our home to our condo. Google Maps says it will take 8 hours and 37 minutes to make that trip. I would say that is possibly true...in Kansas. But we’re not in Kansas anymore, Toto. Google simply does not understand West Virginia miles. Nor does it take into consideration the tail end of a hurricane passing through or a long and tortuous orange cone season. The last time we were down here was a year and a half ago and they are STILL working on the very same stretches of road. I told Mr. FixIt, I recognized the same piles of dirt! 

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Other than the rain and the road construction it was pretty smooth sailing. Except for the driver’s side windshield wiper. The tip broke off the blade and it slipped further and further out of the channel with every swipe so I had to find a Walmart and get some new blades. By the time I came back out, the rain was pouring but we found a Sheetz station with a canopy and I changed the blades post haste.

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We carted more stuff with us than we ever have this time. We are avoiding the grocery stores here so we brought our own food. I also brought cleaning items and went in the condo and wiped down all the high touch surfaces before we took anything in. The sheets and pillows were provided. We don’t mind sleeping on sheets that we can tell were washed well, but we still brought our own pillows. We brought our own blankets as well. And, the first thing I did was strip the bed and put a brand new mattress cover on the bed. My stepson bought them for both the A & B sides and will leave them with us. That way, we can launder them, put them away, and bring them the next time we come down.

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It is really a shame it was so cloudy, rainy and foggy coming through the West Virginia mountains. The colors are magnificent this year, and if it would have been sunny, I could have gotten some great shots. Instead, I snuggled up under my car comforter and fell asleep for Mr. FixIt’s first driving shift. We only saw one small accident on the way down and thank God that He delivered us safely here. The kids arrive sometime late today! I’ve never had a “family vacation” except when my own kids were little. Family beach vacations are de rigueur for my husband’s family so I’m pretty stoked!

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❤️

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“If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.”

\n‭‭Psalms‬ ‭139:9-10‬ ‭NIV‬‬\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-10-11T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/10/11/day-just-a-little-hour.html", "tags": ["Family","Fun","Love","Road Trip","Memories","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/10/05/day-a-disappointmentand-a-surprise.html", "title": "Day 206: A Disappointment...and a Surprise!", "content_html": "\n
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We went to pick up that chair at the antique store yesterday. When I first set eyes on it, I thought “It looks so much smaller in person.” Then I sat in it. It was so uncomfortable. I have long legs and the seat didn’t come anywhere near the back of my knees. The cushion was stiff and the padding on the arms was back too far. I was so disappointed as I was sure I could never sit in that chair for hours and write. I told the clerk that I was so sorry...the chair just wasn’t going to meet my needs. He was very good about it and said not to worry one bit. 

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We went on to look around the antique shop...something Mr. FixIt and I both truly enjoy doing together. I love this particular establishment because it is well stocked and everything is so nicely displayed. I rummaged around looking into and under things and spied a nice eleven inch cast iron skillet. So many of the newer skillets have a rough surface and I don’t like them. The food tends to stick to them and make a mess. I prefer an older, smooth surface skillet that you can season well. I like Griswold skillets, but they are getting harder and harder to find. This one doesn’t have a brand on it, but I’m looking forward to cleaning it up and seasoning it. It’s a great size for burgers and steaks.

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The other evening, Mr. FixIt came home from town with a bag of groceries in one hand and a bouquet of roses in the other. As we sat down to watch church online yesterday, I saw the sun shining in on my fur throw and thought it would be a lovely setting to photograph my roses. This man is the sweetest gift from God. He’s my best friend and my playmate and my argument buddy. He’s the first man in my life that I can be absolutely ME with...100%...and he loves me no matter what comes out of my mouth. He is infinitely patient, kind, gentle, and funny. He pushes my buttons just enough to get a rise out of me and knows when to back off. He would do absolutely anything for me...I know this, and rest comfortably in it. I would do absolutely anything for him, too. We’ve got each other’s backs...always. Our second wedding anniversary is October 13th and we will be at the beach. He wasn’t sure he would be able to find roses for me there. We are going to avoid going in shops, anyway. So...I got my roses early. And aren’t they amazing? They remind me of autumn with their vibrant red and orange color. What a lovely treat! I am truly blessed.

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I never dreamed I would get to do this again. I know I’ve said that before, but it’s always worth saying again. God saved the best for last.

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❤️

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“Love never fails!...”

\n1 Corinthians 13:8 CEV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-10-05T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/10/05/day-a-disappointmentand-a-surprise.html", "tags": ["Gratitude","Love","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/09/29/day-away-from-the-kitchenagain.html", "title": "Day 195: Away from the Kitchen...Again!", "content_html": "\n
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I wish I could find this variety again!

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I had every intention of canning my pie pumpkins yesterday. I got up and made my coffee and toast, then turned on YouTube on the TV to search for videos about canning pumpkin. I came across a channel called the Homesteading Family. They have lots of how-to videos. As I watched, I learned some things I didn’t know about pumpkins.

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Those big pumpkins you buy to carve and decorate with really aren’t the best for baking and cooking. They aren’t very sweet and they are pretty stringy. I’ve tried making pies with them in the past and was always disappointed in the finished product. They were fairly flavorless and had little of that rich pumpkin color you see in the canned pumpkin you buy in the store. 

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I finally discovered pie pumpkins a couple of years ago. Actually, the first “pie pumpkin” I ever bought was at a Farmer’s Market in Aspen. It was about eighteen inches in diameter but only about five inches high and was a deep, burnished red-orange color. The flesh was also a deep orange and slightly sweet. It was an heirloom variety they called a “French Pie Pumpkin” and I’ve never seen another one like it. It made the best pumpkin pie I’ve ever had and I’m determined to find seed for next year.

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Upon Googling “French Pie Pumpkins”, I came across a photo with my pumpkin! This is what it says about them:

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ROUGE VIF D'ETAMPES PUMPKIN

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These bright orange-red pumpkins are known as \"Rouge Vif d'Etampes.\" The name comes from the meaning “rouge vif” which in French is “vivid red.” Also known as “Cinderella” pumpkins, they are slightly sweet and make a great ingredient for pumpkin pie. The variety dates back to the late 1800’s, when they were the most common pumpkins in the Central Market in Paris.

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But, that is for another time. I currently have five round pie pumpkins that are commonly referred to as Sugar Pie Pumpkins. I learned in the video that pumpkins need to cure for a while before you cook with them. They should be stored in a cool place away from direct sunlight for a few weeks. This allows the skin to harden and the flesh to develop the maximum amount of sugars and reduce stringiness.

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So, the pumpkins are going down in the basement till early November and I can turn my attention elsewhere. Unfortunately, both yesterday and today were/are tied up with errands in town. Mr. FixIt and I went to one of my favorite farm stores yesterday. Rural King sells everything you could possibly need for a homestead and I love browsing the aisles to see what they have. At this time of year, they not only have pallets of decorating pumpkins out front, but they also have huge bins of apples, onions, and potatoes for sale inside. 

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I bought four bags of apples yesterday to make apple pie filling for canning. Another thing I learned about through YouTube was a product called ClearGel. Not to be confused with SureJel, ClearGel is a thickener used for desserts and pie fillings and produces a translucent filling that isn’t gummy. It’s loose enough to allow the heat to penetrate the filling in the jar in order to safely preserve the contents. I had to order it through mail order and it’s supposed to arrive tomorrow, then I can proceed.

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In the meantime, I’ll continue gathering what we need for our trip. I won’t know what to do with myself at the beach, what with nothing to can or preserve. I’m taking my knitting and do nothing but visit and knit and sit by the ocean!

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❤️

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\n

“Make your light shine, so others will see the good you do and will praise your Father in heaven.”

\nMatthew 5:16 CEV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-09-29T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/09/29/day-away-from-the-kitchenagain.html", "tags": ["Marriage","Cooking","In the Kitchen"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/09/12/day-battling-west-virginia-vegetation.html", "title": "Day 178: Battling West Virginia Vegetation", "content_html": "\n
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The area where we removed the biggest trees.

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Colorado has snow. West Virginia has dense foliage. Both are a result of moisture. Both are beautiful. And, both can be a king-sized pain in a horse’s patoot! We went out to the farm yesterday to do battle with the tough fall grass that grows in September. It’s so hard to cut. Then, instead of weed eating, I took the pole saw to several small trees and wild grape vines.

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The trunks of most of the trees were around an inch or so across, but there were a few that were around 3-4” and they were more cumbersome. You really have to stay on top of things around here or you soon have a veritable jungle surrounding you. The Rose of Sharon at the back corner of the house had grown in so close, you could hardly walk through there. That had to be trimmed back, as well as some of the branches still attached to the tree that fell. They were encroaching in the yard where I like to mow so they needed to go.

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The larger brush pile.

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Old blackberry canes, multi flora rose, wild grape vine, Virginia Creeper, sumac, pig weed, sycamore...all rapid growing and invasive. Of course, as soon as you get them cut, you have to haul them off to the brush pile or the grass will die where they lay. One tree was absolutely woven into the shrubbery with wild grape vines...just like weaving fabric. That one was a lot of work to get out and we had to chain it up to the tractor to pull it out of the road and into the yard where we could cut it up in smaller sections. I know I’m going to be sore today. For those of you who may not know what a pole saw is, it’s literally a small chainsaw on the end of a telescoping pole so you can reach low lying limbs without a ladder. Ours extends to about twelve feet so you’re trying to wield this thing around over your head and hold it steady while it chews through four or five inches of wood. It’s hard work, trust me.

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The smaller brush pile.

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I also ran a couple of loads of laundry while we were there, and we didn’t even leave our house till the bread was baked. We were supposed to go to the class picnic today, but with Covid and the new warnings to hunker down for the fall and winter, we just decided not to go. Some people say you can’t let fear keep you from living your life...we only get this one trip...make the most of it. My answer is, we are not living fearfully. We are living scientifically informed. Just wear the mask so we can get this over with. There...that’s my PSA for the day.

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These nights are “false fall”...a series of cool evenings that are great for sleeping in the camper with the windows open. There are so many who cannot open their windows because of the smoke. We are blessed here. Lots of moisture. Lots of vegetation. Lots of work...but so worth it!

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❤️

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“And God said, “Let the earth sprout vegetation, plants yielding seed, and fruit trees bearing fruit in which is their seed, each according to its kind, on the earth.” And it was so. The earth brought forth vegetation, plants yielding seed according to their own kinds, and trees bearing fruit in which is their seed, each according to its kind. And God saw that it was good.”

\nGenesis 1:11-12 ESV\n
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#HardWork, #Vegetation, #WestVirginia

\n\n", "date_published": "2020-09-12T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/09/12/day-battling-west-virginia-vegetation.html", "tags": ["Strong Women","Positive Energy","West Virginia","The Farm","Gratitude","Farm Life","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/09/10/day-beans-tomatoes-picklesyummm.html", "title": "Day 176: Beans \u0026 Tomatoes \u0026 Pickles...YUMMM!!!", "content_html": "\n
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Ok, yesterday was a marathon day in the kitchen here at the Ponderosa. I started out by packaging up the dehydrated mushrooms then rummaging through the garden to get a few more Roma tomatoes. I set what was ready in the dehydrator and turned my attention to the green beans.

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I had enough of the beans cleaned yesterday to set a canner on to process. Then, Mr. FixIt and I enjoyed rocking in the recliners, watching old Frazier reruns while I finished stringing and snapping the last of the beans between canner loads.

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I learned something yesterday. I should have weighed the beans, because apparently I had a LOT more than I thought. According to the weights and measures scale for produce, a bushel of snap beans should weigh between twenty-eight and thirty-two pounds. This should result in a quart of processed beans for every one-and-a-half to two pounds of raw produce. Initially, I figured I would get two canners full with enough leftover beans to cook up a mess for supper. (\"Mess is Appalachian for a batch...a dinner's worth with leftovers.)

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I ended up with four canners full! That's twenty-eight quarts. I did my math and I payed just over a dollar a quart for these babies. AND I got the fun and satisfaction of putting them up for winter. I know, I know...this is nothing compared to what my cousins can every year. They put up hundreds of jars of food. I'm a little limited by supplies this year as I was sort of starting from scratch in the canning department. I'll get more jars and lids next spring.

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When the last canner was filled and on the stove, I got out my fermenting equipment and got two quarts of dill pickles started. They will sit for one to three weeks in the brine till they get to my desired taste. I made one quart with hot red pepper flakes for a little extra pizazz. I would normally use dried whole red peppers from the spice aisle but Walmart didn't have them.

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And that was the end of my day. I was tired...but it was a good kind of tired. My hands smell like garlic and they're soft from working with wet beans for two days. My hips are sore from sitting so much. But, ohhhhh.....those beautiful jars of bottled summer take my breath away when I look at them!

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It was not till I was typing this last night to post this morning that I noticed the date. Today would have been Mr. Virgo's 70th birthday! It feels so unreal. He will always and forever be 62...a number I passed five years ago. I can't even imagine him at 70. He would have reluctantly retired. He had no hobbies other than golf and me. I never, EVER would have considered taking off in the camper by myself and having adventures without him. He told me when we were first dating that if I was the kind of woman who was going to leave him alone for long stretches of time, he wasn't interested. I had been in a two decade marriage with a workaholic who had dinner between 8:00-10:00 every night. I was ready for that one-on-one attention.

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Don't get me wrong...I absolutely adore Mr. FixIt and I treasure every moment we have together. AND, I learned I need some space to recharge from time to time...for my own mental health as well as the comfort of my spouse. Different people. Different marriages. Different expectations. Still...I think of that silver-haired man and smile now.

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Seventy.

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Wow.

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Happy Heavenly Birthday, Mr. Virgo!

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❤

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Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men,

\nColossians 3:23 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-09-10T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/09/10/day-beans-tomatoes-picklesyummm.html", "tags": ["Positive Energy","West Virginia","Gratitude","Wisdom","Aging","Peaceful Moments","Be Joyful!","Farm Life","Widow","Memories","Marriage","Cooking","In the Kitchen"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/09/05/day-from-sunup-to-sundown.html", "title": "Day 171: From Sunup to Sundown", "content_html": "\n
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I caught my second wind this week after having a couple of lay low days. Thursday and Friday were hit-the-ground-running kinds of days. When we were coming home from town Thursday, we came through flash flooding the likes of which no one around here can remember. There is a small creek that runs through some properties along the road our house is on. This little creek is never more than a yard wide during a downpour. There were places Thursday where that creek was forty feet wide! There were about twenty places where the rain came over the road and we had to drive really slow. It wasn’t deep water...just an inch or so running across the pavement but we were very careful.

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Mr. FixIt kept moaning about the drain at the bottom of the steps and that there was bound to be water backed up. I kept telling him we didn’t know that and let’s just pray God protects us. By the time we got within a mile of the house, we could tell it hadn’t rained nearly that hard at the Ponderosa and we just thanked God we didn’t have a mess on our hands. We certainly cleared that drain out at the right time!

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I got up yesterday and took a pint of blueberries out of the dehydrator and put in a load of sliced bananas. Then I mixed up two batches of pizza crust dough to rise while I went out and mowed the two big fields. I got done just in time to clean up and start assembling the pizzas when the kids came for a visit. I baked the pizzas on the outdoor grill on the deck while everyone played corn hole. We visited for a good long while. Then Mr. FixIt took the kids down to the creek to check on the drain pipe. While they were down there, they caught minnows and looked for arrowheads. My stepson cut a dead tree branch out of the maple tree before they left.

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When they were gone, I brought everything back into the kitchen and told Mr. FixIt I would clean up in the morning. I kissed him on the forehead and as I was heading out the door to go to the camper to write, he said, “You did a really good job today. Man, you’re a really hard worker.” I turned and smiled. THAT’S all I’ve ever needed from anyone...a thank you and a kind word. That’s all we ever really need, isn’t it? To be loved and appreciated? I will tell you what...I love to work. I love the feeling of accomplishment a good hard day of work gives you. I can feel that sense of accomplishment on my own...but it feels so good when it’s offered from someone you love.

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❤️

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“But I am giving you a new command. You must love each other, just as I have loved you. If you love each other, everyone will know that you are my disciples.”

\nJohn 13:34-35 CEV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-09-05T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/09/05/day-from-sunup-to-sundown.html", "tags": ["Family","Be Joyful!","Baking","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/08/16/day-my-shining-ray-of.html", "title": "Day 151: My Shining Ray of Hope in a Phone Call", "content_html": "\n
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I worked on my website for a few hours yesterday. The office is across the wall from the television in the family room and my sweet hubby was snoozed out in his recliner with a shoot ‘em up action film going. I could feel every boom to my toes so I turned on my music. The booms melded with the tympani of the orchestra and soon I was blissfully lost in my work. Did I mention I hate television? We have agreed on a compromise. Until my second cup of coffee is done, there will only be old reruns of Andy Griffith on the TV. Then I can go do whatever else I want to do. Win-Win!

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We had three inches of rain yesterday between 6:00am and 2:30pm. I sure wish we could send some out west to help with the fires. Our high temp yesterday was predicted to be 73 degrees. I will take a day like that anytime! 

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As soon as the rain let up, I packed up a few things and was about to head out the door to the camper when my phone rang. I was one of my dearest friends in the whole world calling from Colorado. She read my post yesterday and said, “You DON’T want to come to Colorado! The smoke is so bad, we can’t even go out of the house!” We went on to talk for an hour and I’m telling you...it was like salve to a sore place, as my grandma used to say.

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Barbara and I are about ten years apart in age, yet my youngest and her oldest are only nine months apart. We became fast friends when her husband opened his practice in the same small Colorado town where Hubby #2 and I lived. She’s that friend you may not talk to frequently, but when you connect, the time seems to melt away. I felt 1000% percent better after talking to her and hearing she is going through much of the same things I am feeling with all that’s going on. I was her God appointment of the day...I am sure.

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When we finally said our goodbyes, I grabbed my camping bag filled with books and writing implements and told Mr. FixIt I was “going camping”! So, as I am writing this, I am tucked into TOW-Wanda...pretending I’m camped near a clear mountain lake high in the Rockies and I can literally feel the stress peel off of my weary heart and mind.

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There are ways to escape...even when you are bound to your premises. Remember to protect your mental well-being as well as your physical health during stressful times. Chronic stress leads to high cortisol levels and that can lead to a lot of physical problems in and of itself. A phone call. A good book. I’m reading Aunt Arie: A Foxfire Portrait and just love it. Aunt Arie is so much like my grandma and her contemporaries that I grew up with and her stories take me back to my childhood. A change of scenery...even if it’s just in another room or a short drive away...can do wonders for your frame of mind.

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There’s nothing like rain on the roof of a camper to put things in perspective and I am blessed to have this little home on wheels. I noticed a little bit of water on the floor so I need to do some sealing work in the next dry stretch. 

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❤️

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“I give you peace, the kind of peace only I can give. It isn't like the peace this world can give. So don't be worried or afraid.”

\nJohn 14:27 CEV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-08-16T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/08/16/day-my-shining-ray-of.html", "tags": ["Health","Family","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Positive Energy","Camping","Love","Peace","Choices","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/08/15/day-just-an-old-granny.html", "title": "Day 150: Just an Old Granny Grump", "content_html": "\n
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When my grandma got old and we’d ask her how she was doing, she’d say, “I’m just an old Granny Grump!” I have no idea how old “old” was to me at the time, and I surely didn’t grasp the full nuance of the term “Granny Grump”. But, I think I’m beginning to get it.

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Ok...I’m not old, but I’m feeling like it lately. And I’m definitely feeling grumpy. Just ask my poor husband. It’s hard when you go on Facebook and you see your friends out doing things and you aren’t. It makes you wonder if maybe you’re being silly with all these Covid precautions. I mean, really...what harm could it do to hop on a plane or hook up the camper and drive across the country? I want to go camping. I want to go out to dinner. I want to go to Daytona Beach. 

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I want my life back.

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I know. You do, too.

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This isn’t easy. And getting ready to head into the winter months, feeling like this will never ever end can easily turn anyone into a Granny Grump. When we got home from town yesterday, I hopped on the mower and mowed the whole property. I can do a lot of thinking while I mow. I zipped past the camper and thought, “I could do it, you know. I could just pack that bad girl up and hit the open road and be in Colorado by the middle of next week!!!” Man, I miss my kids and grandkids and brother and friends. Mr. FixIt and I have been together more in the last 150 days than Mr. Virgo and I were in the entire seven years I knew him. I’ve never spent this much time with anyone and being the kind of person I am...I know full well I am much NICER when I have a little tiny bit of space to call my own.

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Then I remember how awful it was when I found out what being really alone felt like. And I start feeling a little guilty about wanting some space. Because I know about grief and loss and aloneness. And...being careful what you wish for.

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There is a difference between wanting to be alone and wanting a little space and time to recharge. Thank God, Mr. FixIt is pretty much back to being his healthy self. I still wouldn’t feel comfortable pulling the camper all the way to Colorado without him this summer, though. That’s too far away and not enough time has passed since the strokes. Then there’s the whole virus thing...so, here I am.

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I’m just feeling a little stuck. And, I know I’m not the only one. 

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This is a tough time we are going through, considering everything that has happened this year. I am reminded of something I wrote about a long time ago. You can put an egg and a potato in boiling water. One will become hard. The other soft. The temperature of the water is the same, but what they turn into depends on what they are made of.

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I will not let my present set of circumstances harden me. 

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This, too, shall pass.

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❤️

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“If you are a husband, you should be thoughtful of your wife. Treat her with honor, because she isn't as strong as you are, and she shares with you in the gift of life. Then nothing will stand in the way of your prayers.”

\n1 Peter 3:7 CEV\n
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#JustSayin, #Grumpy, #Stuck

\n\n", "date_published": "2020-08-15T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/08/15/day-just-an-old-granny.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","Peace","Anger","Forgiveness","Choices","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/07/01/day-tipping-the-scale.html", "title": "Day 106: Tipping the Scale", "content_html": "\n
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Oh....it’s July. I feel like we should be peeking around the corner very carefully...you know, just in case it’s a trap!

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So, I went to the doctor yesterday. All the usual precautions...wear a mask, don’t arrive more than fifteen minutes before your appointment, practice social distancing, no one can come with you. No problem...this was my “Great Escape”....my master plan for getting a few hours on my own.

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They took my temp, asked me the questions...Have you traveled outside the country in the past fourteen days? I wish! Have you had a fever, cough, or difficulty breathing? Nope. Have you been around anyone diagnosed with Covid-19? No, I haven’t been around anyone but Mr. FixIt since February...that’s why I’m at the doctor ALONE! I feel kinda like I did the first time my last child went to school. Yippeeeeee!

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Lorri called me back and we exchanged the usual pleasantries. She finally got a little time off. My feet and legs aren’t hurting as much. She’s been having some neck pain. I’ve been trying to get three hours to myself. You know...girl stuff. Then...she took me down the hall...to the dreaded scale.

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Now, if you have been reading this blog at all for the last four months, you know that I have been obsessed with baking. Sourdough, homemade pizza, tofu, biscuits, English muffins, jam, apple pie, yoghurt. Comfort foods like fried potatoes and cookies and grilled cheese. Outings for ice cream. Hokey smokes...I’ve been doing the walk of shame from the refrigerator to the recliner for months! I was really, REALLY dreading this. But...what can you do? It’s gotta be done, I suppose.

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I was shocked.

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I gained one pound. Sixteen little ounces!

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Dodged a bullet there. 

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During my seven or so hours on my own, I went to Sam’s and Walmart and the Post Office. I stopped and got Mr. FixIt a drink and waited outside PT for the last five minutes so I could give it to him. I mean, I was driving right by...and I knew he would appreciate a cold drink after they worked him hard in there. Yeah...I’m such a softie. What can I say...I love the big lug!

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While I was out driving around, I was still trying to figure out what went wrong with my sourdough on Monday. I went through all the steps trying to figure out what was different when it struck me. The last time I bought unbleached flour, it was the the only kind they had at the Piggly Wiggly...the store brand. Cheap, yes...but who knows how old or what quality it was or even if it really WAS unbleached. You have to used unbleached flour or the wild yeasts are killed by the residual chlorine in the flour. As I was thinking back, I realized the last couple of weeks, my sourdough starter hasn’t been as robust as it had been. That had to be it. I bought some King Arthur’s Unbleached All Purpose Flour at the store, came home, and fed the starter and...BAM! Bubbly and active. I love science!

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Once the groceries were put away, I spent over an hour out in the pool. Now...that was heavenly! It was 90℉ and sticky humid. I vacuumed and skimmed the pool and floated around and gazed upon my surroundings. God and I had a long talk and I apologized that I hadn’t been spending enough time with him of late. I thanked him for every single thing I set my eyes on. And then...I thanked him so much for giving me the greatest guy a gal could ever want when he set Mr. FixIt in my path.

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Seven little hours. One little pound. 

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It was a really great day.

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❤️

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“Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.”

\nPsalms 51:10-12 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-07-01T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/07/01/day-tipping-the-scale.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Gratitude","Wisdom","Choices","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/06/30/day-correcting-course.html", "title": "Day 105: Correcting Course", "content_html": "\n
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Ugh...yesterday was Monday.....ALL day. It was one of those days when nothing I touched worked right. I went out for a walk around the property before breakfast. The oats were done and Mr. FixIt couldn’t find me. I could hear him yelling that breakfast was ready, but he couldn’t hear me because the air conditioning unit was running. I walked up to the house, went in, and sat down at the bar in the kitchen. I thought maybe he had gone around front so I sat and waited. All of a sudden, I heard him yelling in the bedroom and scared me half to death. He was yelling out the bedroom window for me and I thought he’d fallen or something. Oy.

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After breakfast, I made my sourdough starter and it just didn’t look quite right, but I went ahead and mixed up the dough. While it was raising, I got on the computer to do my banking. The internet went out. I got tech support on live chat. Well, ok...I was #3 in the queue. After more than two hours of futzing around with that, they had to schedule a technician to come visit. Oy, again.

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I finally got the dough to a place where I could let it rise on its own and Mr. FixIt decided he wanted a hamburger for supper. I thought we would go to the little shop in our little town and get some burger. No...he wanted a real burger. We couldn’t decide where to get one so I took matters into my own hands and when we got there...thirty miles away...the joint was closed. Argh!

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We went to Lowe’s and bought light bulbs for over the sink. They didn’t have the bright white...only the cool white. We got home and Mr. FixIt couldn’t work over his head and he knocked down my flying pig that hangs in the window. It broke and I was done. I climbed up on a stool and fixed both lights.

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It was time to put the bread in to bake, and...I have no idea what I did wrong, but it was wet and soupy and wouldn’t hold together. There wasn’t anything else I could do with it. The starter wasn’t really strong and I was at the end of its fermentation, so there was no recovering it. I ended up dumping it in the trash. I’m sure I could have done something with it, but I didn’t have anything left in me to try.

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I am very familiar with days like this...and I know what causes them. I have been so busy trying to keep everything up around here that I have slacked on in the one thing I know better than to slack off in. I haven’t been keeping up with my devotionals nor have I been spending enough time in the Word. I can always tell when I have veered off course. It’s like being in a row boat in a storm...with no oars and no rudder. I just get tossed about and all I want to do is cry.

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So, I made an executive decision. I have an appointment in town today. One quick appointment and a stop for gas. Mr. FixIt has two appointments. He cannot come into mine. And I can’t go into his. We would have to sit in the truck and wait for the other in ninety degree heat. I have hardly had a moment to myself since February. I told Mr. FixIt I would go into my appointment on my own, and he can do his. He’s been doing a little driving here and there and his balance seems to be much better. I’m sure he’ll be fine.

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Just knowing I can have some time to spend with God...all on my own...made my spirits pick up. I know I tell you all the time...”You cannot fill someone else’s cup if yours is empty.” But, it’s a whole lot easier to tell someone else than it is to follow my own advice!

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I’ll just leave that long Monday alone now and learn from the lesson it taught me. 

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Peace, be still.

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❤️

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“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

\nMatthew 6:33-34 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-06-30T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/06/30/day-correcting-course.html", "tags": ["Prayer","Grace","Wisdom","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/06/28/day-duty-a-dip-and.html", "title": "Day 103: Duty, a Dip, and Date Night", "content_html": "\n
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After my morning coffee, Mr. FixIt was on the phone when I walked by, blew him a kiss, and went out to mow. It was pretty hot out there, but I have learned how to mow with one hand and hold a huge golf umbrella with the other. I have to wear a mask because of all the allergens that get stirred up, so it’s kind of stuffy and sticky out there. I’ve figured out how to hold the umbrella just right to catch any hint of a breeze which makes the chore so much easier.

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I was just about finished with the two big fields when I saw my sweetheart come out and start with the push mower. He mowed around the areas I couldn’t reach with the big riding mower. Then he got the weed eater out and trimmed around the yard as I took up the push mower inside the fenced yard. I kept one eye on my work and the other to make sure Mr. FixIt didn’t overdo in the heat, but he did great. It was a good day. 

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He feels bad when he can’t do everything he did before, but he is gaining his strength and the confidence that comes with realizing he’s improving. I was talking with my cousin the other day. She asked how I was holding up. I told her I was doing great. I’m keeping really busy and that occupies my mind so it doesn’t go places it doesn’t need to go. Listen, I’d be lying if I said none of this has affected me. I would surely have loved having fifteen years of the fun stuff before we have to deal with the not so fun stuff of health issues. But, that’s not what happens in real life. Not when you marry at our age. The truth is, it doesn’t make a bit of difference if we were married a week or a year or two decades...you do what you need to do when circumstances change. It’s in the vows we took that day in our field...”to have and to hold, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, till death I do part.” It is our sworn duty.

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My duty is to do the things Mr. FixIt can’t right now. Just as he would do if the roles were reversed. One can whine about it. Or one can put on the big girl panties and get the job done. It’s a choice. I always choose joy and love. I mowed, watered the garden, and tied up the tomato plants. Easy peasy.

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When we were finished with the hot and dusty work in the yard, we took a refreshing dip in the pool. It’s times like that when I can totally justify the extra work and expense the pool entails. We cleaned and skimmed and walked around while we talked and enjoyed a perfectly beautiful evening. I swam up to my man and said,

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“Hey...how would you like to buy me dinner?”

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He lit up like a Christmas tree. We decided on Italian, placed our order, then drove to town. As we were picking up our food, the leaden skies opened up into a downpour. We drove across the river and found a lovely parking spot where we could watch the boat traffic. We had our picnic in the rain...inside the truck. It seems to do that every date night, but it doesn’t dampen our enthusiasm.

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We got home just before dark and walked around a bit, checking out the garden and the fruit trees. We don’t have a single pear this year. There were late frosts this spring and that took care of any hopes of a bountiful harvest like last year. We have onions and zucchini and crook neck squash setting on and several tomatoes are showing. There are teeny, tiny peppers starting to grow and the pumpkin plants are vining. I love watching a garden grow and this year I’m actually going to be here to enjoy it.

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We came in and I fed my sourdough starter in preparation for baking today. As I was settling in to write this, I thought...”How many times and how many ways can I tell them I’m mowing and baking bread?” Spoiler alert: Many, many times! 

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❤️

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““But ask the animals, and they will teach you, or the birds in the sky, and they will tell you; or speak to the earth, and it will teach you, or let the fish in the sea inform you. Which of all these does not know that the hand of the Lord has done this? In his hand is the life of every creature and the breath of all mankind. Does not the ear test words as the tongue tastes food? Is not wisdom found among the aged? Does not long life bring understanding?”

\nJob 12:7-12 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-06-28T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/06/28/day-duty-a-dip-and.html", "tags": ["Family","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","West Virginia","Love","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/06/22/day-grassmake-it-stop.html", "title": "Day 97: Grass...Make it Stop!", "content_html": "\n
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This is the time of year where you can almost see the grass grow. Long, sunny days of hot, humid weather brings slow, steady growth. Add the rain that’s coming in the next three days and it’s going to get crazy out there! Mr. FixIt is still recuperating from his last stroke so he can’t really mow right now. I love mowing, so I don’t mind it at all. And, he is so appreciative. He always thanks me when I pick up the slack and tells me what a good job I’m doing. It makes it so much easier when you are appreciated.

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I mowed the whole six acres yesterday...including with the push mower inside the fenced yard around the pool. Mr. FixIt took the hoe to the garden. My stepson told me to mix up a solution of one gallon of water with one teaspoon of Epsom salts in it. He said to pour one whole gallon on each tomato plant, once a week. I got all but eight of them fed when Mr. FixIt thought maybe I shouldn’t do all of them...just in case. Probably smart. We’ll do a science experiment and see if it makes a difference.

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While I was mowing, I also worked up another couple of loaves of sourdough bread (on my water breaks). It was ready to put in the fridge in the garage by evening and will rise slowly overnight. I’ll bake it first thing this morning before it gets too hot. It was nearly 8:00 by the time I was done and a dip in the pool was just what the doctor ordered.

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As I was writing this, thunder started rumbling as a storm front approached. It was the perfect ending to a really stellar day. Summer Solstice is over and the days will get incrementally shorter now. But for now...

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We are knee deep in June!

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❤️

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“The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of our God endures forever.””

\n‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭40:8‬ ‭NIV‬‬\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-06-22T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/06/22/day-grassmake-it-stop.html", "tags": ["Fun","West Virginia","Farm Life","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/06/20/day-a-really-grand-day.html", "title": "Day 95: A Really Grand Day", "content_html": "\n
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My daughter and her wife drove across Colorado yesterday to see her dad for Father’s Day. It always warms my heart when she does something with her dad.They have a special bond. Daughter #2 has changed a lot during the pandemic. We video chat, text, and call more often than we ever have. We both need that mother-daughter connection. We were talking the other day and I wanted to ask her to stop by to visit Mr. Virgo’s grave on her way through...but I forgot.

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Mr. FixIt and I were running errands yesterday. We were standing in Walmart when a video chat request came through from my daughter.

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“Mom? I wasn’t sure whether I should do this or not, but....here.” She turned the camera around and she was standing in front of Mr. Virgo’s grave! I caught my breath and put my hand on my heart. 

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“Oh, honey! Thank you SO much for going to see him! I’ve been thinking about him so much lately.” I was grinning ear to ear.

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She had already cleaned up the grave and weeded the entire area around it. She made sure the rocks were neat and tidy in a circle around him. And she stayed for a while after we got off the phone so she could talk to him. They held a special bond, too. She is such a good person.

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I had my appointment with the specialist at WVU yesterday. We need more testing to suss out what exactly is going on with my thyroid. It was my first experience with a video doctor’s visit and, I must say, I think I prefer it over being there in person. I had my notes and questions written down. The doctor was very patient and listened to me and we worked out a plan together.

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We had to take this lawn tractor BACK to the shop again. Mr. FixIt set the emergency brake on it when we got it on the trailer. Then, when I drove it off, the brake handle fell off. I could feel what happened back in there, but I could not put the pin back in the hole to hold the handle in place. As it turns out, the service man had to remove the gas tank to get to the spot he needed. And now it’s fixed...again.

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By the time we got home, we were famished. I made grilled cheese sandwiches with pepperoni on the sourdough bread I made over the weekend. I’m telling you...I hit the mother lode with this recipe! And now, here we are...another weekend. We don’t have to be anywhere till Tuesday and I am thrilled. Lots of pool time and baking in my future over the next few days. Still camping out in the field. 

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I am so incredibly blessed to have this life. When I saw Mr. Virgo’s grave through my daughter’s phone camera, I thought I could almost hear him saying...

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“You’re doing a great job, babydoll!”

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❤️

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“Do everything in love.”

\n‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭16:14‬ ‭NIV‬‬\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-06-20T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/06/20/day-a-really-grand-day.html", "tags": ["Family","Grief","Love","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/06/18/day-my-love-is-like.html", "title": "Day 93: My Love is Like a Red, Red Rose", "content_html": "\n
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In 1794, Robert Burns was working diligently to preserve traditional Scottish tunes for the future...the most famous of which is “Auld Lang Syne”. One of the songs he worked on was this:

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“My Love is Like a Red, Red Rose”

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O my Luve’s like a red, red rose\nThat’s newly sprung in june;\nO my Luve’s like the melodie\nThat’s sweetly play’d in tune:\n\nAs fair art thou, my bonnie lass,\nSo deep in love am I;\nAnd I will luve thee still, my dear,\nTill a’ the seas gang dry;\n\nTill a’ the seas gang dry, my dear,\nAnd the rocks melt wi’ the sun;\nI will luve thee still, my dear,\nWhile the sands o’ life shall run.\n\nAnd fare thee weel, my only Luve\nAnd fare thee weel, a while!\nAnd I will come again, my Luve,\nTho’ it were ten thousand mile.
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Mr. Virgo used to work at the Hotel Colorado in Glenwood Springs. He was the Food and Beverage Director, and once a year, the Annual Robert Burns Dinner was held there. Think men in kilts, good single malts served in proper thick-bottomed scotch glasses, steaming haggis, neeps and tatties...all to the tunes of bagpipes. Oh, he loved that dinner....so steeped in tradition and manly things and cigars. The highlight of the evening is the recitation of Burns’s “To a Haggis”, during which the haggis is ceremoniously split open. Followed by lots of drinking and dancing and entertainment...all to celebrate the life of Scotland’s favorite son. 

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This was in January 2008. Mr. Virgo and I hadn’t been married a year yet. And then...just a couple of weeks later, the hotel went into receivership and budget cuts came hot and heavy. I soon came to learn, the Food and Beverage Director is a great job...till there are budget cuts. Then it’s one of the first to go. That sent us in a totally new direction and we moved shortly after to Pagosa Springs for a completely different adventure. So much has changed since that first married winter with a man now gone over seven years.

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Here at the Ponderosa, where I share another newly married life with Mr. FixIt and a little black cat, there is a tiny rose bush that we are convinced will never survive another winter. I’m not good with plants as a rule, and this straggly looking thing is no exception.  Mr. FixIt prunes it a little and dusts it for bugs and we leave it to its own devices. Then, just like clockwork, a single red, red rose bursts forth in all its glory...”newly sprung in June.” I cannot help but think back to another time and another place and another love. Not in sadness...not even with longing....but, with a smile from this bonnie lass, tho’ it were ten thousand mile...while the sands o’ life shall run.

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I recently spoke with a woman newly widowed. She is not in a place where she can understand the full impact of what has happened to her yet. So, she certainly can’t see how the joy I promise she will one day feel again will ever be possible. It’s out there, though. It can’t be rushed. It’s like the red, red rose. One day you’ll walk outside and there will be a brilliant flash of color. Color the likes of which you haven’t seen for so long, you dared not hope to see it again. Yet here it is...right before your eyes. It is in that moment when you know...joy really WILL come again.

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❤️

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“So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.”

\n1 Corinthians 13:13 ESV\n
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#Faith, #Hope, #Love

\n\n", "date_published": "2020-06-18T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/06/18/day-my-love-is-like.html", "tags": ["Faith","Hope","Love","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/06/08/day-getting-it-all-done.html", "title": "Day 83: Getting it all Done", "content_html": "\n
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Sunday is supposed to be a day of rest. During the growing season, and with all these medical appointments we have to go to, some of my “rest” gets done praying in the garden and on the tractor. We watched our church service remotely again yesterday. We are not staying away out of fear...we are staying away out of an abundance of caution. We cannot afford to let either one of us get sick and not everyone wears a mask at church. Yes, we run into the store where not everyone wears a mask, but that is not in a closed room seated for 90 minutes...social distancing or not. It’s a personal choice and we don’t feel any less Christian by worshipping at home.

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Yesterday was really a busy day with mowing and planting the last of the tomato plants and watering the gardens. I brought a couple of old galvanized tubs home from the farm last week. they were split in the bottom where they froze before I had a chance to tip them over. I used the square one as a planter for three Roma Tomato plants. 

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I fed my sourdough starter three times this weekend in preparation for baking bread today. I also have the soybeans to make into soy milk then into tofu this afternoon. This is in addition to a medical appointment so we’re hopping.

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I’m still learning about sourdough starter and how it all works. I’ve been watching YouTube videos and the starter I’ve been seeing didn’t look like mine. Mine was runny and flat. Turns out, I wasn’t feeding it enough. Now that I’ve got this down, the starter has an almost rubbery texture...like wet Silly Putty. And it smells heavenly...tangy and yeasty. And look at those bubbles! Those will produce the kind of sourdough bread you see in fine restaurants. I’ve learned a trick to making a deep golden brown crust with a lighter center. Now to see if I can make that work in my own kitchen.

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I made a dozen whole wheat sourdough pancakes yesterday morning. They’ll last us through the week. Last night, I made salmon, corn on the cob, and fresh sliced tomatoes. We dined al fresco on the pool deck which was delightful. We are so happy with the shade from the pergola we built this spring. It used to be too hot out there to eat unless it was after the sun went over the far hill.

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It will be a very busy week, to be sure. 

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❤️

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““Sir,” they said, “always give us this bread.” Then Jesus declared, “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.”

\nJohn 6:34-35 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-06-08T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/06/08/day-getting-it-all-done.html", "tags": ["Health","Farm Life","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/06/07/day-mr-fixit-and-his.html", "title": "Day 82: Mr. FixIt and His Cat", "content_html": "\n
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Pumpkin the kitty isn’t a kitten anymore, but she is still small...and feisty. She has never been a real snuggle bunny, although she will let you hold her till she decides it’s time to bite. Then you put her down in a hurry. Sometimes she stalks your feet and pounces as you walk by, giving you a solid chomp on the shin. Sometimes you don’t like her much, but most of the time she is tolerable and some of the time she is just too darned cute for words.

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I’ve never been a huge “cat person”. I’m doing my best here with this one....but I must say, it’s for my husband’s benefit. He loves having an animal around. Pumpkin is Mr. FixIt’s cat and she follows him everywhere. When he drives to town to pick up his lottery tickets, she happily hops in the truck with him to go for a ride. Wherever he is, Pumpkin isn’t far away. She’s kinda like a dog in that way.

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I was sitting in my recliner the other morning having coffee when Mr. FixIt headed out to the building to do some cleaning and organizing. I caught this picture of Pumpkin tagging along behind him as he headed out to work. The new tractor is still in the shop and when it comes back, it needs a good parking spot. We filled the old spot with tools brought home from a worksite, so we had to find more room.

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We loaded up the truck to take some things to a family member and delivered it yesterday. It’s amazing what people find valuable and refuse to part with. Coming from a place where I have already gone through the downsizing project, it’s pretty hard to not just order a dumpster and toss stuff. I figure if we can clean out ten square feet at a time, we will make some serious headway before the snow falls. Fingers crossed.

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I was working on a project the other day and needed something. I thought we would need to make yet another trip into town, but before we did, I asked if it was possible we had the item in the building. Mr. FixIt went right out and returned with exactly what I needed. Not only that, it was a brand new one! It’s like living with your own personal Home Depot out back! The only problem is...we need the night crew to do an inventory and get everything organized. Now, if we only HAD a night crew!

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As much as I fuss about the lack of organization around here, I’m still happier than I’ve been in a very long time. So, maybe someday this will all be left to me and I’ll have to handle it. So what? I’d much rather enjoy my time with Mr. FixIt now rather than rag at him all the time to get the place cleaned up. There’s always time for cleaning up down the road. There may not be as much time for hugs and laughter. That’s the important stuff.

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❤️

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“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.”

\n1 Peter 4:8 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-06-07T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/06/07/day-mr-fixit-and-his.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Aging","Choices","Change","Farm Life","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/06/01/day-mow-mow-mow-the.html", "title": "Day 77: Mow, Mow, Mow the Grass!", "content_html": "\n
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I love Sundays. We had homemade toasted English Muffins with our breakfast yesterday and ate as we watched online church. Our church started back to in-person services this week. You had to go online to reserve a space and they only filled to 30% capacity. We won’t be going to any in-person services until there is a vaccine for this virus. We had Covid antibody testing done last week because we were both under the weather in February then Mr. FixIt had his stroke. Since stroke is one of the known side effects and, since I’m trying to find anything that might have cause it, we had the testing done locally. No real surprise that we were both negative, but I felt we needed to cover every base. We can’t risk him getting Covid, and there wasn’t a mask to be seen on anyone they showed in today’s service. As long as we can watch from home, that’s the way it will stay.

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As soon as church was over, it was time to do the Sunday Stretch-Out...aka nap time. I read and relaxed and napped in the camper while Mr. FixIt stretched out in his recliner for a while. When I got up, he was rebuilding the generator. I cleaned and painted a couple of pots to plant my peppers and zucchini in. We were sitting in the shade under the maple tree around 4:30 when I saw how long the grass was getting in the near field. I jumped on the tractor and got both fields mowed then came in, fixed supper, and we watched the news. I don’t have to tell you how awful that was. It seems like we are being hit with blow after blow. When things build up and build up and build up, there is bound to come a moment of saturation when everything comes to a head. I just wish it didn’t entail such wanton violence and I pray for peace, justice, and humanity.

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Today I’ll finish the mowing here, plant the peppers and squash, then head to the farm to mow. I’m making a batch of pure vanilla extract this week and it’s time to make another batch of yoghurt. I’d also like to make a challah. I haven’t done that in ages. It’s supposed to get hot tomorrow and stay that way for the foreseeable future. The pool is just about ready to swim in...just in time for the hot weather!

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❤️

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“He makes grass grow for the cattle, and plants for people to cultivate— bringing forth food from the earth:”

\nPsalms 104:14 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-06-01T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/06/01/day-mow-mow-mow-the.html", "tags": ["Peace","Farm Life","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/05/28/day-welcome-to-my-world.html", "title": "Day 73: Welcome to my World", "content_html": "\n
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Ever since I told you about Lehman’s Hardware a few weeks ago, I’ve been itching to make the two hour drive to go see it. I was all set to go today as it is supposed to rain, but last night I told Mr. FixIt I would rather stay home and enjoy the fruits of our labors this week. It took three days to do all the mowing...and that was three long days. I finally finished last evening but I wasn’t done yet.

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I pruned some trees back along the fence, put away a lot of stuff that had gathered in the yard, got the pool pump plugged back in, and put the lawn chairs away for the night. I burned a couple of boxes in the fire pit and hauled the limbs to a place down by the creek and threw them over the hill. I could have worked for another hour, but I told Mr. FixIt, by that time I’d lost interest. He just chuckled.

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West Virginia went from meat locker to microwave in about a week. Every day for the last several days has been up in the eighties and it’s been too hot to work for at least two to three hours in the late afternoons. The former Mrs. FixIt came out for a visit yesterday and we all sat socially distanced in the shade of the maple tree and visited for a couple of hours. When it was time for her to go, I felt like I did when I was a kid and the fun was about to be over. This social isolation is difficult.

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After I was finished with the yard work, Mr. FixIt and I went for a ride through town and out a country road I’ve been wanting to explore. My friend Stacey lives a couple of miles out this lovely little lane and I’d never seen their new place. I wasn’t disappointed. They live on seventeen acres and have the most darling white farmhouse with a covered front porch. I knew when I came around the turn and saw the way the porch was decorated that I’d found the right place. It looked like something right out of Country Living Magazine.

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We had a country visit. The kind where you drive by in your pickup, holler at someone out on the porch, then sit in the truck in the middle of the road and talk for half an hour. I was about to leave when Stacey asked if I’d like to have a jar of that Redbud Jelly she put up this spring. Oh, my...I said “Yes, please!” so fast it’d make your head spin! Since I’m staying home today, I’m going to try my hand at making sourdough English Muffins so I can have some with that lovely pale pink jelly!

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I mentioned to Stacie as we left that I feel like I’ve been in prison and they’ve let us out on good behavior. But, they might send us back if we don’t mind our P’s and Q’s. I was thinking about this as I was mowing yesterday. I don’t know if I will ever be able to eat in a restaurant again without thinking about all the germs. I don’t know if I will ever relax in a plane or at the theater or a party the way I used to. What if people want to hug me? What if I feel comfortable enough to hug someone and they draw away from me?

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The other day, we stopped to say hello to one of Mr. FixIt’s friends. Joe doesn’t socially isolate or wear masks and he came right up to Mr. FixIt’s window to chat with him. I immediately put my hand up and asked him nicely to back up some because we really cannot take any risks with my husband’s health after these strokes. He was respectful and backed away. There are others who do not. We stopped at the pool supply store Tuesday. There was a line of twenty people. Not all had masks. Not all were maintaining social distancing. I asked my sweetheart to stay in the truck while I got what we needed. The man behind me kept crowding in my space. 

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This is a different world. I have a feeling that things will loosen up again, but maybe not so much till we have a vaccine for Covid. I’ve been reading all the fuss about the vaccine and let me tell you something...Mr. FixIt and I will be the first in line to get it. I’ve lived through the polio era and seen the ravages of that disease. I’ve had vaccines regularly since I was a child and there’s nothing wrong with me. I don’t glow in the dark. I don’t have autism. My kids don’t have arms growing out of their foreheads. This one will be fine. It isn’t the “mark of the beast.”

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I was interrupted writing by the weatherman’s prediction of two inches of rain tonight. Good thing I put Epsom salts around the tomatoes earlier in the evening so the rain can wash that down into the soil and hopefully perk them up. I also had to run outside and get the ladder and climb up to make sure the gutters were clear. (Mr. FixIt held the ladder for me. Those headlamps we bought ourselves for Christmas have sure come in handy around here.) 

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Whew! It’s always something! 

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❤️

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“Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man.”

\nProverbs 3:3-4 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-05-28T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/05/28/day-welcome-to-my-world.html", "tags": ["Faith","Love","Farm Life","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/05/27/day-where-did-my-leisure.html", "title": "Day 72: Where Did My Leisure Time Go?", "content_html": "\n
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When Mr. FixIt had his first stroke in February, It was cold and we spent the next few weeks curled up in our respective recliners binge-watching the entire seven years of West Wing. I baked and cooked and tried out new things. We started mowing again in April, then he had his second stroke on May 16th. This time, there aren’t long days baking pies and watching good shows. Now there’s mowing and trying to keep up with the housework and garden and PT and doctor’s appointments. I don’t mind a bit doing whatever I need to do to help my sweetheart. I’d just like to have one kinda slow day. 

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Yesterday wasn’t it. I got bit by a deer fly on Sunday then got in that yucky pool to tighten the screws on the new skimmer. By yesterday, I had cellulitis on my arm and had to make a quick run to the local walk-in clinic to get antibiotics. As soon as I got home, I jumped on the tractor and mowed holding a huge golf umbrella over my head to ward off the sun. At 1:30, I had to jump back in the truck and get Mr. FixIt to PT then run errands, a quick take-out supper picnic in the shade of a tree then home to another socially distanced family visit.

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I got to see my sweet little Boo...he’s ten months old now and he remembered me as soon as he saw me. (Well, he smiled really big and he probably smiles at everyone really big, but I prefer to think he remembers his Gigi.) My stepson tilled the garden for me again and hoed the tomatoes then we all sat around and talked till dark. It was so wonderful to see them all. I’ve missed visiting with my peeps.

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I don’t know if I’ll get to go to Colorado this summer or not. I’m just having to play it by ear. I won’t leave Mr. FixIt at home by himself and I won’t do anything that puts us at risk for getting sick. This virus won’t last forever and we will be able to travel again. We just have to be patient.

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The peonies are blooming. I love them! Grandma called them “pineys”...with a long “i”. Ours here on the Ponderosa are pale pink. Grandma’s are white. And, out at the cemetery, there are some deep magenta blooms. I was told yesterday you can split them to thin them out and share. I’ll do that in late summer when I thin out the irises. 

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When I’m busy like this, it’s hard to reach deep insights to share with you here. When I was riding the tractor yesterday and mowing the field, I had my headphones on and listened to my Christian playlist on my iPhone. Doing the most mundane thing can offer you profound closeness to God. When I am out mowing, I am being of service. The mowing needs doing and Mr. FixIt can’t do it right now. But I can...and it is humbling to serve someone you love. Ever circle around the field, I thanked God for the opportunity to serve in whatever capacity I can. And, isn’t that what we are here for? To love...deeply.

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❤️

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“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.”

\nEphesians 4:2-3 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-05-27T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/05/27/day-where-did-my-leisure.html", "tags": ["Faith","Health","Love","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/05/25/day-learning-new-skills.html", "title": "Day 70: Learning New Skills", "content_html": "\n
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A few years ago, a clerk at the swimming pool supply store gave Mr. FixIt a handy dandy little trick to keep from having to empty so much water from the pool in the winter. It was supposed to keep the skimmer from freezing. Unfortunately, it didn’t work and the skimmer cracked. Being the frugal fixit man my husband is, he managed to jury rig the whole thing and get another four years use out of it. He’s a smart man. But, alas...the time came when we couldn’t keep it together with spit and glue anymore and we bit the bullet. We bought a new one.

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Now, in my old life as a Princess, I would have just called the pool guy, ordered a skimmer, and have him come out and install it. I always justified those expenses by figuring out how long it would take me to do it multiplied by how much I valued my time. I valued my time a LOT. Nowadays, we have nothing BUT time, and being the frugal fixit man that he is, we set to installing the skimmer ourselves yesterday. 

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With a break during the hottest part of the day, I’d say it took us a good five to six hours to install that baby. It’s made well, and all the parts were there, but I could NOT turn the screws when it came time to put it together. I tried and tried. I grunted and may have said a naughty word or two. Mr. FixIt wasn’t helping when he said, “Just turn it!”

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I looked at him and informed him he was getting dangerously close to doing this entire job by himself. Finally, I took the two pieces apart and looked in the holes. They were not threaded. Mr. FixIt took the drill and drove the screws into the holes to pre-thread them. When we tried the second time, they went in much easier. However, I couldn’t get the leverage I needed to drive them all the way in. I knew the only way this was going to work was for one of us to get in the pool to be in the right position.

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There was no way I was going to let my husband get down in that water. Not only would there be the balance issues from last weekend’s stroke, but there was the issue of the water that had not been cleaned yet. I couldn’t risk him getting an infection in his feet or legs. So...I said, let’s have a good dinner, then I can get in there and we’ll whip this thing out.

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I pulled the pork roast out of the oven and as it set, I steamed some broccoli, made a bowl of coleslaw, and sautéed the remaining mushrooms that were nearing their final days. We enjoyed our meal out on the pool deck, admiring the new pergola we built this spring and yet again congratulating ourselves for being so smart to buy it. It really keeps the temperature down at the table. After supper, we drove over to town to get a little ice cream for dessert.

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It was finally time to get in the pool and get this done. It was SO cold. The pool thermometer said “Lo”. I asked Mr. FixIt how low was “Lo”. He had no idea. I’ll tell you what...I know! “Lo” means “Darned Cold”! But this was exactly the position I needed to be in to put my weight behind it and it was no time till we were done. The seal around the skimmer was water tight and there were no more leaks. Eureka! I did a little happy dance and Mr. FixIt laughed.

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“Get out of there before you get hypothermia!”

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I love the sense of accomplishment that comes with doing a good job. And I love that I have a patient husband that is willing to teach me these things. Having these strokes has brought us a sense of urgency in getting jobs done and teaching me how to do everything around here. It’s all part of the whole “Autumn” thing.

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Sitting in the bedroom with the windows wide open and writing is the peaceful ending I crave to every day. It is my meditation time. I love hearing the frogs and the night noises and the tapping of my keyboard. It is the rhythm of my life.

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❤️

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“When you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet.”

\nProverbs 3:24 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-05-25T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/05/25/day-learning-new-skills.html", "tags": ["Health","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Gratitude","Wisdom","Aging","Change","Be Joyful!","Farm Life","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/05/23/day-call-lowesim-building-an.html", "title": "Day 68: Call Lowe’s...I’m Building an Ark!", "content_html": "\n
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Hokey Smokes! It has rained 20 inches so far this year in our neck of the woods. We waited all day yesterday to get enough warm sunshine to dry out the yard so we could mow one more time before my step-son comes to get his riding mower today. Mr. FixIt had physical therapy and we needed to find a couple things for the old tractor to work on it today. By the time we got back home, the skies opened up again and we were back to square one.

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Hopefully today is a nice day and we can mow and be good for another week, at least. I mean...on the one hand, when it rains you don’t have to mow. But, on the other...the grass grows like crazy with all that wonderful moisture. It’s a Catch-22. We also need to take the push mower out to the farm and mow out there. And this time, Mr. FixIt can’t help. I’m definitely going to get back in shape with all this exercise!

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I hate that I’m not spending as much time in the kitchen as I was. It’s so soothing to me to create good things that nourish my family...and our wounded spirits. We have nowhere to go this weekend...our people are coming to us to help with mowing and welding and fixing things that need fixing. I can spend some time in the kitchen and bake them some treats to take home. That will soothe my heart and bring me peace.

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I’ve been thinking about my Aunt Peeps a lot this week. While she was a sophisticated woman with impeccable taste in fashion, she was a country girl at heart. She once told me, her main goal in life was to get a teaching degree and use it to make enough money to buy a farm in West Virginia. I don’t recall seeing her can and preserve food, but she was quite the cook. She didn’t quilt or sew, but she could work sunup to sundown with any man and give him a run for his money. She was an enigma. Tight as a drum with money, yet incredibly generous when she saw you were trying to improve yourself through education. She was your cheerleader if you were a hard worker. She deeply appreciated a good work ethic and had no patience for someone who she felt was lazy or “working the system.”

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She and I didn’t always see eye to eye about things, and I talked WAY too much for her tastes, but...we had one thing in common and that was the love we felt for Grandma’s farm. She was born in Pekin, Illinois along with two of her siblings. Grandma and Pop-Pop were living there during the Depression where work was to be found. When they finally came back home, there were already four children. Two were born after they moved back to West Virginia. The Farm was where they grew up. It’s where I grew up, too.

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My Uncle Bud came home to the farm last weekend to pick up some things that belonged to Aunt Peeps. He needed to find a picture of her for her obituary. I didn’t get to see him because that was the day Mr. FixIt came home from the hospital. I spoke with him this week and he was so pleased with how well we are caring for the family home. He said he was worried it would begin falling apart without someone living there full time, but I told him we go there often enough to breath life into the old place.

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There are some things that are failing...like the big barn and the old tool shed. They are starting to lean and there’s termite damage. But overall, the place looks great for being nearly a hundred years old. I still yearn to go there often to just rock on the front porch and listen to the birds and the wind in the trees. Everything is aging...the old home place, the tractor, the Ponderosa...and us.

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These are the things that went through my mind as I sat pretending to read while I watched my sweet husband having physical therapy. We’ve known each other since we were kids. But we’ve only been together a little over three years. We’ve both changed a lot in those three years. This marriage isn’t like the marriage of my youth...where time stretched before us like an endless summer vacation. This is the marriage where we get to wrap each other up in warm, comfy love and ride the long wave home. There’s no fooling ourselves. Oh, we aren’t at death’s door....but it is Autumn now. And, there is much comfort knowing I’ll be going through this with my best friend at my side.

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❤️

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“In all things I have shown you that by working hard in this way we must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’”

\nActs 20:35 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-05-23T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/05/23/day-call-lowesim-building-an.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Overcoming Obstacles","West Virginia","Comfort","Love","Wisdom","Courage","Aging","Choices","Change","Farm Life","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/05/19/day-what-a-wonderful-world.html", "title": "Day 64: What a Wonderful World", "content_html": "\n
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Yeah...that’s not something you’re liable to hear or feel these days, is it? There’s a lot to take in. Lots going on...outside and inside. Add “your husband’s had another stroke” to an already formidable situation and it’s enough to break you. I’ve vacillated the last 48 hours between numbness and fear to acceptance and peace. Back and forth. Back and forth. It’s like that game we played when we were kids. What was it called? Crack the Whip! The kid on the end usually got creamed. That was me.

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Yesterday kept me busy...one of the granddaughters came over and helped me mow. It was wonderful to not have to do it all myself. Mr. FixIt was really good and didn’t over exert himself which was a great relief. He started using one of our hiking sticks to keep his balance when he walks over uneven ground and that helped a lot. I mean...a hiking stick is cool, right? We went to the Tractor Store and got parts for the old tractor. And, we watched the finale of The Voice.

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Thunderstorm Artis...an up and coming musician in the Final Five, finished the night singing “What a Wonderful World”. I love that song. I needed to hear that tangible reminder of the beauty this world can still deliver on a daily basis. I have been practicing centering myself. One of my readers keeps reminding me of the number one. We can all do just ONE thing. ONE breath. ONE moment. ONE day. By the end of the evening, I was feeling much less overwhelmed by it all.

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We have no control beyond this one moment in time. I can talk, make phone calls, write letters, and vote. But I have no control over who carries an AR-15 into a courthouse or who else wears a mask or when a stroke will happen. What I do have control over is how I respond. 

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Mr. FixIt came into the room last night as I was writing and I had the window wide open. I also had the air conditioner going. I didn’t think about it. I just wanted the window open. In his best dad voice, he said, “Why do you have the window open with the air conditioner running?”

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My reactionary response wasn’t pretty. It was just one more thing I didn’t have control over and it pushed me over the edge for a minute. Then I remembered...ONE.

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I can close the window for ONE hour till the evening cools down. 

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I can sit there for ONE minute and think about how different today could have easily been.

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One of the worst things people can say to the newly bereaved is “at least.....”. “At least he’s in a better place.” “At least she isn’t suffering anymore.” “At least you can have more children.” But, here’s the thing...it’s one of the worst things you can tell yourself, too. Because it’s so dismissive.

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“At least we don’t have it as bad as some people.” 

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That minimizes your pain and hampers your processing. It’s self-shaming for having feelings.

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I hate like HELL that my sweetheart, who I just found like...five minutes ago...had another stroke. I hate that he’s having to go through this

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I hate that we can’t feel free to do what we want.

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I KNOW we don’t have it as bad as some people. But we have THIS. And this ONE minute, I’m sitting with it. 

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It’s ok to feel your feelings.

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Today is a new day. Today we pick things up and we are strong together and we are confident in our love. We have faith in a God that uses all things to prosper us. I will rest and trust in that promise. 

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And...I’ll wait to open the windows wide till AFTER he goes to sleep. However, I WILL make sure the air conditioner isn’t running.

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This really is a wonderful world.

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❤️

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“What a wildly wonderful world, GOD! You made it all, with Wisdom at your side, made earth overflow with your wonderful creations.....”

\nPsalm 104:24 MSG\n
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#Wonderful, #World, #Gratitude

\n\n", "date_published": "2020-05-19T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/05/19/day-what-a-wonderful-world.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Courage","Aging","Choices","Change","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/05/16/day-busy-insidebusy-outside.html", "title": "Day 61: Busy Inside...Busy Outside", "content_html": "\n
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This week flew by. All these projects keep me from dwelling on the time creep and we wrapped up the week with a bang! Mr. FixIt got the mower deck off the old tractor to get it welded. I fed the sourdough and made a batch of blackberry jam. Unfortunately, it didn’t set so I need to do it over today. Just repeat the process and add more pectin. I cut the fresh tofu in half inch cubes and set it in the fridge to marinate for supper. Harvested the alfalfa sprouts I’ve been growing in the kitchen. I saved the blackberry containers to use to keep the sprouts fresh in the fridge...score! I drained the coffee elixir from my Toddy brewer for cold brew. So that’s ready for some delicious iced coffees in the coming weeks. We tilled the garden and planted fifteen tomato plants, two hills of squash...one yellow crookneck and the other zucchini, and I planted some extra squash in a planter I have. I like to let the squash get really big, then cube them up and can them like bread and butter pickles. I washed dishes a hundred times. I took lots of pictures to share but I’ll wait till the jam actually sets. Then I will share some. Till then..I’m done. This was a beyond tired day but we needed to get it done before the rain comes again.

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The big news is, I made stir fry with the marinated tofu, broccoli, cabbage, mushrooms, egg, jasmine rice and a couple of handfuls of the fresh sprouts I harvested yesterday. We ate out on the deck by the pool and Mr. FixIt looked at his supper and started naming the ingredients. When he said “chicken”, I just smiled. He looked at me in surprise. 

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“That’s tofu?”

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“Yep! What did you think?”

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“Pretty good!”

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That’s Mr. FixIt speak for “delicious!”

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Score!

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❤️

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“and to aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we instructed you, so that you may walk properly before outsiders and be dependent on no one.”

\n1 Thessalonians 4:11-12 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-05-16T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/05/16/day-busy-insidebusy-outside.html", "tags": ["Fun","Gratitude","Comfort","Peaceful Moments","Farm Life","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/05/12/day-still-the-sweetest-thing.html", "title": "Day 57: Still the Sweetest Thing", "content_html": "\n
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So, after my virtual meltdown on my blog yesterday, Mr. FixIt and I had a really beautiful day. We’ve been binge-watching West Wing and we are down to the last disk in the collection...the final three episodes. We have really enjoyed this series and I was thrilled to introduce my husband to its intricacies. I think he had only watched a couple of episodes back when it was on the air, and it’s one of those shows you really should watch in succession in order to bond with the characters.

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We decided in the afternoon to head up to Marietta, Ohio. It’s a college town, so there’s a level of sophistication mixed with Midwest charm that I find really cool. I never really spent time up there when I was growing up. Going to Marietta would have been a BIG trip for us...it was in a whole other state! Granted, you could SEE that state from the house I grew up in, but still...it seemed so far away.

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After we finished our errands, I asked Mr. FixIt if he’d like to go over to Barlow, Ohio to Seaman’s Mercantile to check it out. When we were at the nursery last week getting tomato plants, the owner shared her love for canning with me. We were chatting about the best place to buy jars and lids when she told me about Seaman’s and I just had to check it out.

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The original business in the building was started in 1857. The business has changed hands, and names, over the course of time and has been owned by Charles and Kara Seaman since 1983. I fell in love the second I crossed the threshold. There were flyers to the left of the door advertising butcher pigs and other assorted farming interests. The front window was filled with canning supplies. There were little treasures to be found at every turn.

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I went with a singular purpose. I wanted to buy a large sieve to drain tofu, yoghurt, and cheeses. I knew what I was looking for but couldn’t find it in the local shops. When I went around behind the cooler filled with soft drinks, there it was...hanging on a nail high above my head. I climbed up the step ladder and plucked it off the hook. While I was up there, I spied a clear plastic half gallon jar with a screw on lid that I could use for storing dry goods so I picked that up. I also noticed a box of canning and pickling salt. I want to try my hand at making sauerkraut and you can’t use table salt. The iodine will ruin the kraut. Bingo...just what I needed.

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As I was checking out, Mr. Seaman and I struck up a conversation about canning and preserving. He told me he had a couple of glass jars this same size if I was interested. They were a good price so I picked them up as well. They will work as my pantry storage for flour to keep it fresh. The owner at Sim’s Greenhouse told me about a large stainless steel canner that is made by the Amish. She had just received one for her birthday and it came from Seaman’s. It’s huge! It is a large rectangular box and fits over two burners. It was $121. I was tempted...but decided to wait and see how much I actually can this year. I told Mr. FixIt, if I were thirty years younger with a large family, that would definitely be a worthwhile investment. I just don’t know if I will be canning the kind of quantities that would justify such a purchase, so I passed...for now.

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It turned out to be such a lovely “date day” and we were reminded yet again why we really do enjoy each other’s company. You can find Seaman’s Mercantile HERE.

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❤️

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“Prepare your work outside; get everything ready for yourself in the field, and after that build your house.”

\nProverbs 24:27 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-05-12T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/05/12/day-still-the-sweetest-thing.html", "tags": ["Family","Fun","Comfort","Farm Life","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/02/25/uncharted-territory.html", "title": "Uncharted Territory", "content_html": "\n
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I often awaken to his hand on my shoulder. I covet this moment.
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There is nothing like a health scare to shake you up....wake you up. After losing Mr. Virgo the way I did, my fear level Friday night isn’t surprising. But, now we’re here...we’re home...we’re processing. We’re walking on eggshells a little bit...feeling our way out on the ice to make sure it’s solid beneath us.

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I’m trying not to be hyper-vigilant. Mr. FixIt is trying not to worry me. We both slept the deep sleep of exhaustion and relief on Sunday night. We had a very laid back day yesterday. We didn’t even get out of our jammies. We ate and slept and watched movies. We smiled and kissed and hugged a lot...because we can.

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We’ll keep a low profile for another day or so. But then, it’s back in the saddle...albeit at a bit more slower pace. Look...we both have health issues. We aren’t 37 anymore. Waking up to that...getting our heads out of the sand...is important. It reminds us to be present in each moment. We don’t have the time to waste anymore. 

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Yes, we’re a little sad. And, we’re more than a little scared. But...we can’t walk on eggshells forever. We can’t stop living. We just have to be watchful and live our best lives. So, we made follow up appointments. And we looked at vacation rentals to extend our April beach trip by an extra week. Leaving him and going off on solo adventures might take me a while to get comfortable with. We’ll just have to see.

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Like I said...it’s uncharted territory. Deeper conversations will come as to how we will navigate it. But for now, we are just resting easy and feeling ever so grateful that this wasn’t any worse. Mr. FixIt felt much better yesterday. Thank you all so much for your kind words of love and support and, of course, for your many heartfelt prayers. We appreciate them so much!

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❤️

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“This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.”

\nPsalms 118:24 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-02-25T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/02/25/uncharted-territory.html", "tags": ["Health","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Gratitude","Love","God","Aging","Change","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/02/23/no-luxury-of-losing-it.html", "title": "No Luxury of Losing It", "content_html": "\n
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My strength comes from Heaven...the heavenly hosts who are always and forever available to me.
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First, let me thank you for your prayers Friday night. This one was for us. My sweet Mr. FixIt had a stroke Friday night. It was mild, but concerning enough that he is in the hospital for a couple of nights for tests. My heart was pounding out of my chest and wave after wave of hot flushes rushed over me. Visions of the final trip to the ER with Mr. Virgo had me in a near panic.

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I drove, maybe a little fast...but we got to the hospital in record time. It wasn’t the kind of medical emergency you need an ambulance for. He just had some numbness and tingling. It was more “let’s just go in and get this checked out to make sure everything is ok.” When they descended on Mr. FixIt and started all the medical stuff, I excused myself to the ladies room and threw up.

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I didn’t have the luxury of losing it. My sweetheart knows these things scare the dickens out of me and he kept asking me if I was ok. I was honest.

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“No, not at the moment. But I’m going to be.” I squeezed his hand and offered a brave smile.

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I sent out the prayer request. (Thank you SO much for all your prayers!) I wrapped my arms around my sweet husband and prayed for us both. And I began to feel that sense of peace beyond all understanding. 

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God didn’t mean for us to do the heavy lifting. He wants us to turn all things over to Him. When I sat there, I thought of all the people I know who have been through so many hard things lately. People I know and love. I took strength from their courageous fights. I felt a Legion of Angels around us from all the prayers.

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We waited, and waited, and waited for a room. Which almost always means we were waiting for the staff in the ER to find a moment between patients to get us upstairs. At one point, I thought if I could just get a blanket for him and turn off the lights, at least he would be able to get some sleep while we waited. 

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I went out to the desk and the tech said she was just coming to get us and take us to our room. Pretty soon, she came in and apologized. She said she had to go prepare a patient. Those of us who have worked in an ER know what that means. A patient had died and the family needed to come in to see their loved one. She was going to go make them presentable.

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I didn’t say anything to Mr. FixIt as she left. I just held his hand a little tighter as my mind wandered to the day I was led in to see Mr. Virgo after they had made him “presentable” for me. I closed my eyes and said a prayer for the family who were about to have that horrible experience. I prayed that the Angels would come and wrap their wings around them and comfort them in their time of great heartbreak.

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I patted Mr. FixIt’s hand and said, “It’s ok, babe. Someone else needs her more than we do right now. We’re ok.”

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Thank you, God. This could have been so much worse.

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❤️

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“Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

\n1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-02-23T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/02/23/no-luxury-of-losing-it.html", "tags": ["Faith","Health","Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Aging","Widow","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/12/31/seeking-comfort-in-an-uncomfortable.html", "title": "Seeking Comfort in an Uncomfortable World", "content_html": "\n
\"\"
“Travel brings me comfort in an uncomfortable world.”
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Well, dear ones...this is it. The last day of the year. The last day of a decade. And oh...what a time it has been. At the beginning of it, I was happily married to Mr. Virgo...living in Denver and not much liking that part, except for being in close proximity to my children. Not that I got to see them much. I was very focused on my husband and didn’t see past the end of my nose. A major regret.

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Three years into this decade, my life stopped when Mr. Virgo died unexpectedly...and I set out to create a new life with a new me. I sold the only home I had ever owned on my own. I made some bad decisions...but I’ve also made some good ones. I’ve driven tens of thousands of miles. I settled into and lived in the home of my heart on a beautiful farm that’s been in my family for nearly ninety years.

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I’ve connected with some really wonderful people, and reconnected with people I’ve known for a lifetime. I’ve written hundreds of thousands of words as I poured out my grief and my heart and my love into the ether sphere. I married a man I initially set eyes on when I was six years old.

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I gained people. And...I lost people I loved dearly.

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I totaled a truck and escaped with nothing worse than a small brain bleed that left me struggling to remember things for a couple of years, which filled me with fear. This last year, things finally started to fire on all cylinders in my poor noggin and I feel more like myself than I have in a very long time.

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I’ve aged a hundred years in some ways. I’ve gotten much younger in others.

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I got a cat. Well...she got me.

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I gained a huge extended family and I’m now not only a grandma....I am a GREAT grandma to two little ones with a third one due any day now. I am a GiGi, to be exact. A Mom and a mother-in-law and a Nana and a GiGi. A sister and a friend and a wife. How cool is that?

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I went to Church Sunday night and Pastor Justin asked us to think about who we were before we were saved. In that moment, I realized THAT’S what has been hovering in the back of my mind as I contemplate the end of this decade. Because it was the beginning of the previous decade when my life very nearly came to an end.

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I let myself cry as the music wafted over me, the Holy Spirit covering...filling me with his Love. My life has moments of demarcation with lines in the sand marking the points between “before” and “after”. The overdose. My mom’s death. Finding Jesus. Meeting, then losing, Mr. Virgo.

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Finding ME.

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Finding love again.

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Marrying a wonderful man.

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All while traveling. I get bored being in the same place too long. I need to seek new horizons from time to time. I need to get away and “blow off some stink” every once in a while. I need to recharge...away from everyone and everything I know. I need to go where no one knows me and rest in the anonymity that comes with the unfamiliar. 

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I get uncomfortable when I become too comfortable. When things start to get too predictable, I need to shake things up. I tried to count how many houses and apartments I’ve lived in during my lifetime and I lost track. I crave change. Thank goodness I’m married to a very understanding man. It makes me easier to live with, I think.

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I don’t usually travel like I did this year...not since I was on the road with the camper after Mr. Virgo died. It was different this time. It was harder to be away from my sweetheart. Partly because I genuinely love being with him and partly because I’m older now and I have intimate experience with loss. Things have changed. There’s more to lose now. I’m not sure how much I’ll travel in the coming year...but I’m sure it won’t be quite like 2019.

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We’re heading out tonight for a family bowling party to ring in the New Year. I can’t remember the last time I bowled. I can’t remember the last time I was out past 10:00! I have to remind myself...I’m only 66. There will be plenty of time to lay down when I’m dead and gone, right?

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Maybe I can take a nap before we go.

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Happy New Year, my dear ones! If you are struggling, may 2020 bring you peace, prosperity, and good health. You are so loved.

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Thank you. Truly...thank you for being here all these years. I am eternally grateful for the connections I have made through this page.

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Be blessed!

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Ginny

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❤️

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“Sing to the Lord a new song; sing to the Lord, all the earth. Sing to the Lord, praise his name; proclaim his salvation day after day. Declare his glory among the nations, his marvelous deeds among all peoples.”

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Psalms 96:1-3 NIV

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“Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.”

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Psalms 90:12 NIV

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“In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.”

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Proverbs 16:9 NIV

\n\n", "date_published": "2019-12-31T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/12/31/seeking-comfort-in-an-uncomfortable.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Positive Energy","Camping","The Grand Adventure","Fun","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Aging","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!","Widow","Marriage","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/12/28/the-family-christmas-extravaganza.html", "title": "The Family Christmas Extravaganza", "content_html": "\n
\"\"
“Is there anything better than an apple pie fresh from the oven?”
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We entertained my bonus family last night for our annual Christmas gathering. I started a new tradition with them when I entered the picture...chili and cinnamon rolls. One of the grandchildren loves Key Lime Pie so I made one along with an Apple Pie...another family favorite. Along with the chili came a large platter of peanut butter sandwiches. This is a West Virginia thing. When we were in school, the cooks either served peanut butter sandwiches or peanut butter cookies on chili day. We had both last night.

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There was enough to send everyone home with some chili and desserts. I took the easy route this year and used paper plates and bowls and plastic silverware. The kitchen looked like a bomb went off in there and I don’t care. It had to wait till morning. 

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We added something different this year and did a white elephant exchange which went over really well. There was lots of laughter and feigned sadness when one of our gifts was “stolen”. The kids mentioned several times how fun it was and they want to do it again next year.

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These big family dinners seem like a lot more work the older I get. That’s one of the reasons I adopted my Colorado family’s tradition of the chili and cinnamon rolls. After Thanksgiving, everyone is sort of turkeyed out and another big meal seems overwhelming to me. I dream about the possibility that someday all my Colorado family will come to me for Christmas...but they don’t come here for the same reason I don’t go there. The weather is just too unpredictable and with Colorado being such a tourist destination, it isn’t cheap to fly there any time, let alone in the winter. 

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Now that this event is behind us, I feel like I have a little time to breathe for the next few weeks. We received tickets for a WVU basketball game as one of our Christmas presents and I’m really excited about that. It was a lot of fun the last time we went.

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I hope you all are enjoying the holidays in whatever way you can. 

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❤️

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“Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your children will be like olive shoots around your table.”

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Psalms 128:3 NIV

\n\n", "date_published": "2019-12-28T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/12/28/the-family-christmas-extravaganza.html", "tags": ["Family","Fun","West Virginia","Gratitude","Peace","Holiday","Be Joyful!","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/11/06/safety-on-the-road.html", "title": "Safety on the Road", "content_html": "

\"Camping “Being safe in the woods means staying aware of your surroundings and listening to your gut.”

\n

There were only two times on this last trip that my antennae went up as I paid close attention to what was happening around me. The first time was when I was at Calhoun County Park trying to see a meteor shower. This park only has eight campsites in the first place. And I was there in the middle of the week after school started so there was no one up there camping. There were people in the community building both evenings but they didn’t come over near me.

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Sometime after dark on the second night, a car drove slowly by my camper out to the end of the park and stayed there for about ten minutes. I turned off all the lights in the camper and peeked out from behind the blinds. The car came back and just drove right on by without slowing down, so the tension in my shoulders eased. Mr. FixIt told me he very nearly came out to camp with me out there but he resisted the urge.

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The second time I was even remotely concerned was at the last campground I stayed. Twin Falls is stunningly beautiful, as you can tell by the photos I took. But the campground itself is located on the very top of a long and winding mountain, pretty far away from the main park buildings. At this time of year, the campground office and store is closed and there wasn’t a campground host.

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On the first night, I read the story about the couple who were boondocking on South Padre Island and went missing. Then surveillance video showed a man and woman, not the owners, driving the truck and camper across the border into Mexico. They were later found buried in shallow graves on the beach. This freaked me out, I will not lie. The next evening, the man who was camping over on the next row walked through the woods between us to come talk to me when I pulled in after spending time at the lodge, writing.

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He told me he had tried to flag down the park worker who had just driven through the campground on a side-by-side but couldn’t catch his attention. He also said he didn’t have a phone so he couldn’t call anyone. He told me someone had come to the bath house earlier in the afternoon and their car was there for a couple of hours. After they had gone, this man went over to the bath house and someone had smeared feces all over one of the stalls in the men’s room. 

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Ok, that was creepy, but the man seemed harmless enough. After all, he introduced himself by name. And I know stuff happens in campgrounds. I know how to handle myself and to watch what’s going on. I told him I would let someone at the park office know what had happened and he was grateful. As he turned to leave, he swung back around with a big smile and said, “I suppose you saw me all over the news last night!”

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Um…no, I did not. I thought to myself…what did you do that put you on the news?

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I swung the door of my truck closed. Then he proceeded to tell me he rode his bicycle all the way from California to look for the father he never knew. Apparently the news had followed him across the country on his quest. I wished him luck finding his dad and I went to tell someone about the men’s room.

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That was the night when the truck started making a grinding noise and the first thing that went through my head was “What do I do if I get stuck here? What if the bathroom vandal came back? What if “Bicycle Man” wanted to get friendly?” My imagination started to get the better of me and I had to pray myself to peace. And ask my gal pals to pray for me as well. And, I texted Mr. FixIt to come “help me check out this truck”. 

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I wasn’t really scared. But I was leery. And I was tired and a little road weary after six weeks of camping. It didn’t hurt a bit to get my strong, capable husband to come help me out and be my encourager. He told me he ran into one of my friends at the mall that week. She had been reading about my journey and she told Mr. FixIt she didn’t think she could do that and didn’t I get scared?

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“Nope! She’s the bravest woman I know!” 

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Knowing he feels that way about me, and that he worries but lets me have my lead, makes me feel wonderful. I have spoken with my closest friends about this….I could never, EVER have done what I’m doing while I was married to Mr. Virgo. Not only did I lack the self confidence, but he would NOT have liked me being gone. He didn’t like me being gone for the weekend to Denver to see the kids. He wouldn’t have stood for me being gone the majority of six weeks. As a matter of fact, when we first started dating, he said he wasn’t interested in dating someone who wanted to spend much time apart. 

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Mr. Virgo liked me being right there with him. When he watched TV, he liked me to watch TV with him. He didn’t like it if I was on the computer or the iPad or the phone either. Because, he wanted to discuss the show with me during the commercials. I did these things because I loved him, not because I loved watching TV. When you’re married, you do things sometimes that you don’t particularly enjoy. It’s called compromise.

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Mr. FixIt came into my life when I was a free-spirited, independent, remote-camping gypsy who spends long hours writing. He knew what he was getting and gives me space to grow and spread my wings. That’s one of the things I love about him. I make it up to him by traveling and going to the beach and never saying a word about his bowling two nights a week. I cook him yummy meals and take him camping whenever I can. We treat each other with respect, honoring each other’s interests, and we have a lot of fun together.

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It’s a win-win for us both.

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❤️

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“However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”\n

Ephesians 5:33 NIV

\n 

\n", "date_published": "2019-11-06T02:30:14-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/11/06/safety-on-the-road.html", "tags": ["Faith","Overcoming Obstacles","Camping","West Virginia","Growth","goRVing","Wisdom","Courage","Warning","Choices","Widow","Road Trip","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/10/31/the-red-carpet-treatment.html", "title": "The Red Carpet Treatment", "content_html": "

\"R-Pod “Sitting on a red carpet of maple leaves, the 2020 R-Pod 196 is one of my favorite campers.”

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You know the story of the toothache going away as soon as you get to the dentist? Well, Mr. FixIt is here (YAY!!!) and we took the truck for a long drive…all round the park, up and down hills, around and around curves and…..nothing. Not a sound. Except, when I very first pulled out of the campsite, the brakes squeaked. A long time ago, I was driving over a dirt road in the boonies of Colorado and suddenly the car started making this horrible grinding, screaming noise. When I stopped…the noise stopped. I had no idea what to do. Finally, a couple stopped and asked what was wrong. 

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When I described the noise to the man, he suggested perhaps I had a rock stuck in the brakes. He directed me to put my foot on the brake, put the car in reverse, and back up with my foot still on the brake. When I did, the rock was dislodged. I don’t know if that was the problem here, but when I pulled forward again with the truck, there was no squeak, no grinding…nothing. Good news…I hope! Great news…Mr. FixIt is here!!!

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Since the truck seemed to be working fine, we went for a hike to see the falls here in Twin Falls State Park. It rained and was a little chilly so when we got back to the camper, I heated up some chili I had in the freezer. It really hit the spot. 

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So, this was the last night of the West Virginia Tour. It was so, so beautiful. And the r-pod worked perfectly. We’ll pull it home with Mr. FixIt’s truck today and watch my truck carefully. When I get home, I’ll have it checked to make sure it really is ok. I’ll leave you with a last look at the camper sitting on a beautiful red carpet of maple leaves. This part of the tour has been really special and I can’t wait to get back on the road to head south.

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In the meantime, I’m going to spend a few days at home for some much needed family time and attend my home church on Sunday. Thanks so much for traveling along with me! 

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? 

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“The Lord will keep you from all harm— he will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.”\n‭‭Psalms‬ ‭121:7-8‬ ‭NIV‬‬
\n", "date_published": "2019-10-31T01:30:59-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/10/31/the-red-carpet-treatment.html", "tags": ["Family","Travel","Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","Camping","Fun","West Virginia","Gratitude","Girl Camper","Girl Campers","Road Trip","Marriage","Chasing the Sun - Girl Camper Road Trip"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/10/28/rounding-out-october.html", "title": "Rounding Out October", "content_html": "

\"Bluestone “Bluestone Lake is gorgeous this time of year.”

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Today is moving day so that means I get to tell you where I have been the last few days. I arrived at Pipestem Resort State Park on Thursday. I’ve been here before, but never camping. There’s a tram that takes you down in the canyon to the lower lodge that sits on the Bluestone River. There is a restaurant, gift shop, and artisan center on the canyon rim at the top of the tram. There is an equestrian center, golf course, pool, recreation center, nature center and a main lodge with every amenity you could want.

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The campground is large. The interior sites have full hookups and are pretty close together. The sites around the perimeter are roomier and of course they back up to woods. There is a very large camping area with no hookups. I was told there is a major upgrade coming adding more service sites and leveling them out…something that is sorely needed.

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The weather has been typical WV autumn…unpredictable. Yesterday dawned sunny and clear but within an hour we were socked in with clouds. Then, by 3:00, it was sunny again clear through sunset. The foliage is still beautiful but is definitely past the peak of color. This happens where we get cold, rain, and wind…which we had last night.

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I drove over to Bluestone State Park yesterday. There is a large dam on the Bluestone River which has created a large lake. The park is smaller, less developed, and more remote then Pipestem which is less than ten miles away. There is one main campground with a few full service sites and electric only sites. There is a more primitive and rustic campground on up the road. The primitive campground sits right on the lake and is popular for fishing.

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One thing I thought was pretty cool. There is a campground on the far side of the lake that is accessible only by boat. Each campsite has it’s own dock. That would be a lot of fun, I would think. There is more wildlife activity at the Bluestone Campsites because they are less densely populated. Bears, fox, and bobcats frequent the area as well as more common deer, raccoon, possum, skunks and squirrels. There are occasional sightings of otters and mink.

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Bluestone State Park has a large number of cabins spread around on a wooded hilltop. One of the cabins sits beside a very old cemetery that has been there long before the park came to be. I couldn’t find anyone who knew the history of the grave sites so I will have to do some research on my own.

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Again, there are so many amazing photos from this weekend but I am limited to what I can send over two bars of cell service. I’m planning on creating a video of this month’s circuit of the stunning State Parks of West Virginia. I’m afraid you’ll have to wait for that or see the photos as I have the opportunity to upload them. 

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Today I head to the last park on my WV Fall Foliage Tour…Chasing the Sun. I’m supposed to camp there till Friday, but I’ve decided to cut it short just a little so I can go home for a few days before I head south. Well, actually…before WE head south. I’ve talked Mr. FixIt into doing the southern circuit with me!!! Bless his heart…he has been awfully patient having his wife galavanting around the countryside. I need to get back and help him with a few chores and get a few things done to be better prepared for more camping.

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❤️

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“The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.”\n

1 Corinthians 7:3 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2019-10-28T01:30:32-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/10/28/rounding-out-october.html", "tags": ["Family","Travel","Camping","Fun","West Virginia","Gratitude","Love","Peace","Girl Camper","Girl Campers","Choices","Be Joyful!","Road Trip","Marriage","Chasing the Sun - Girl Camper Road Trip"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/10/05/setting-up-the-spare-room.html", "title": "Setting up the “Spare Room”", "content_html": "

\"RPod “Converting the sofa to a spare bed in the RPod 196!”

\n

I’m Back!!! Mr. FixIt and I had a wonderful time camping together and the little break was just what I needed to recharge. There’s nothing like being in the woods in a little camper. Losing Mr. Virgo taught me to really appreciate every moment and this week has been grand!

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On Monday, we checked into Tomlinson Run State Park in the tippy top of the Northern Panhandle of West Virginia. The drive up was lovely as we followed the Ohio River on Rt. 7. Mr. FixIt drove separately and followed along behind me. We got to our campsite by mid-afternoon and unhooked. It’s a lovely campground, located on top of a hill and densely wooded. The sites are all nicely spaced apart from each other. We had electric but no water. That’s not a problem, really. You just use the water you carry with you in your fresh water tanks. We rode our bikes around the campground, we cooked outside, and we spent as much time as we could sitting out looking at the stars.

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We left Tomlinson Run on Wednesday and headed to Beaver Creek to meet up with the Girl Campers. Mr. FixIt loves to hang out with the girls and they really enjoy him as well. We had fires in the Solo Stove which is wonderful…so much less smoke than a conventional campfire but still enough that you feel as though you had the camping experience. We had some rain here Wednesday night. Quite a bit actually. 

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Mr. Fixit left yesterday mid-day to head home. My friend Diane joined me last night. Diane graduated from high school with me but we didn’t know each other back then. She and I didn’t really become good friends till I moved to the family farm in West Virginia in 2014…the year after Mr. Virgo died. I needed to find someone who could help me unload a truck so I called her to get a recommendation. We became fast friends after that. 

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I tried to get her to camp with me several years ago, but Motel 8 is roughing it to Diane. Then, when she found out I was taking the RPod out for a road test, she texted me with a bombshell. She wanted to come camping with me! She knew I’d be writing about my camping experiences and wanted to offer her services as “blog fodder”. “Camping with the Non-Camper!” Brilliant! This could either be really, really good…or really, really bad. I’m happy to report that, so far, she seems to be having a grand time! She fits right in with these great gals.

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As is always the case, there’s always a good deal of food at these events and last night was a smorgasbord. Tonight is soup night…my favorite night during What a Hoot. Everyone brings their A-game on soup night and we all go around taste testing each person’s creation. I decided to do something a little bit different this year and make beef and noodles. I’ll stick the chuck roast in the crock pot in the morning and let it simmer all day. It will be a welcome addition, I am sure.

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This morning was predicted to be 41 degrees! After a long stretch of hot, dry weather, I am really welcoming the cooler temperatures of fall. I needed to make a reconfiguration of the camper to accommodate my guest. I turned the jack knife sofa into a twin bed. The back of the sofa is a little bit higher than the seat when it’s laid out flat. I bought some firm upholstery foam sheets to lay down on the lower section to make an even base and place my inflatable mattress on top. It was cool enough for the furnace. Today is Pioneer Days down in the Historic Village. The grist mill will be running and there will be tours of the village buildings. Our friend Gail’s son wrote a book about the haunted history of Beaver Creek and will be on hand to sign his books.

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So far, the trip is fabulous and so is the RPod 196! The tickets are on sale on girlcamper.com for $10 each and the proceeds benefit the Hold You Foundation, an organization that assists families with critically ill children. This is a wonderful chance to support a worthy cause as well and get the opportunity to buy a wonderful camper! It’s good to be back!

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❤️

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“We love because he first loved us.”\n

1 John 4:19 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2019-10-05T01:30:44-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/10/05/setting-up-the-spare-room.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Positive Energy","Camping","Fun","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Girl Camper","Girl Campers","Choices","Be Joyful!","Widow","Road Trip","Marriage","Chasing the Sun - Girl Camper Road Trip"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/09/10/forever.html", "title": "Forever 62...", "content_html": "

\"Handsome “Mr. Virgo…Forever 62…and still handsome as ever.”

\n

Happy Heavenly Birthday, Mr. Virgo. You would have been sixty-nine today. Would you have been retired by now? Would we have pulled that camper all over the country? Would our golf game be any better? It’s hard to say, but my guess is…we would have been out hitting some balls today.

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My life is so different now…I do different things. I camp and write about it. I grieve and write about it. I got married again…and I write about it! Nothing is safe anymore…it’s all blog fodder. But in a good way.

\n

I remember all the stages, all the phases, all the fear and pain and anger your loss caused me. I remember it all. At the same time, the edges are fuzzy. A little out of focus. The only words I can hear your voice say in my mind anymore is “I love you, baby doll.” I can picture your hands…your earlobes…your hair. It’s like I can see all the pieces of the puzzle but I cannot seem to piece them all together and put together a workable picture of you. Sometimes it’s frustrating. Sometimes its a Godsend.

\n

As I always tell my readers, the pain of grief is always much, much worse when I’m tired. Sunday night, I could not get to sleep. And the longer it went on, the more focused I became on being away. I knew I’d be tired. And I knew the waves could hit any minutes, even if you never crossed my mind. 

\n

I finally drifted off for about 20 minutes and woke up freezing. I turned off the fan, threw a blanket over me, and went to sleep for…maybe a half hour. This time, I woke up overheated, sweating profusely, and anxious/nauseated/jittery. I finally got up, turned the fan back on, and got sick.

\n

Grief.

\n

Waves of seemingly unending grief have dwindled to the rare bad night. Sunday night was it. I hate disturbing Mr. FixIt if I’m jumping up and down all night so I moved to the guest room, took something for my upset stomach, and finally slipped into a sound sleep for four or five hours. This is the way it works now. The fact that I am happily married doesn’t seem to phase it. We never “get over it”….but we do learn how to hold our grief with soft hands so as to not wake up the beast.

\n

It is your 69th. You are there with your mom and dad…and cousin-in-law Dennis…and now, your firstborn, Shannon. She has been with you for two years. I know you all are together and having a cigar on the back 9…watching the sunset. 

\n

I will always love you and remember you in so many ways. It’s funny how your shape in my life has changed over time. Each year you step a tiny bit further away. Your star shines a tiny bit less in my every day life…but you’re so much bigger in the grand moments. And still, every once it a while, a wave hits me and I have a bad night. Thank God, they are fewer and farther between.

\n

So…

\n

Happy Birthday, Mr. Virgo!

\n

❤️

\n
“So also you have sorrow now, but I will see you again, and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy from you.”\n

John 16:22 ESV

\n 

\n", "date_published": "2019-09-10T01:30:19-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/09/10/forever.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Growth","Gratitude","God","Peace","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Aging","Choices","Change","Widow","Marriage","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/09/05/soft-hands.html", "title": "Soft Hands", "content_html": "

\"Soft “Hold people’s hearts softly…with open hands.”

\n

I’ve learned to have soft hands in my relationships. I’m not talking about getting a mani or using the latest lotions and potions. I’m talking about holding my relationships softly. I’ve learned a lot about relationships over my life. I’ve certainly had enough of them. I used to be embarrassed to say Mr. FixIt is my fourth marriage. I mean, would it have been nice to celebrate my 50th Anniversary with the man I married in 1973? Well…if it WOULD have been nice, I’d still be married to him now, wouldn’t I? Same goes for the one I married in 1979. 

\n

When I married Mr. Virgo in 2007, I truly believed it was my last marriage and we would grow old together. Then 2013 happened, and that dream was shattered by his untimely death at the age of 62. I was only 59, but I swore I would never, ever get married again. “No one could ever measure up.” “My heart could never take that again.” “I’ve already used up three women’s quotas…I’m done.”

\n

I had every reason in the book to never do this again…then Mr. FixIt came along and God granted me another chance at happiness. I’ve been able to use a lot of the lessons I learned in my first three marriages and use them in my new marriage…my LAST marriage.

\n

I knew nothing when I married my first husband…as is true with most people, I suppose. We were so very young…I was only 19, he was 20. We argued…a lot. We had a baby straight away and we were separated before she was two. I learned a lot about what I didn’t want in that marriage.

\n

Hubby #2 was my longest marriage…20 years. And the divorce was extremely painful. When I look back on that marriage, I realize I held onto my husband with tight fists. I was jealous of his coworkers. The nurses and medical staff, the female doctors…well, anyone really. I spent my entire relationship wondering when he would leave me for some talented, intelligent, good looking, young thing. I held on so tightly neither one of us could breathe and the relationship became toxic.

\n

By the time Mr. Virgo came along, I was looking for what I DID want in a partner…not the other way around. I held him softly, but I held myself in an ironclad fist. My second marriage did not end by my choice, so I told myself I had to be the very best version of myself…the perfect wife…with Mr. Virgo or he might leave me, too. The marriage was much, much happier…don’t get me wrong. But it was a lot of work to try to be perfect all the time. In all honesty, I have no idea what might have come of that relationship had he not passed away. I can idealize it and say it was perfect, but no relationship is absolutely perfect.  Really, really great is a glorious gift.

\n

By the time Mr. FixIt came along, I was tired of being something…someONE…I was not. I knew if I ever had the opportunity to have another serious relationship and be married again, I was going to be a “what-you-see-is-what-you-get” kinda gal. Which works out really great because Mr. FixIt is a “what-you-see-is-what-you-get” kinda guy. I love our relationship because we aren’t guarded around each other. We’re easy with each other. We hold each other’s hearts, but with soft, open hands.

\n

You see, what I finally learned…and trust me, I’m a slow learner…what I finally learned was this: If you hold your love’s heart in the soft, open palm of your hand and he flies away…he was not yours to begin with. And, without the tight grip of jealousy and fear of abandonment, the relationship can breathe and grow.

\n

I never once questioned Mr. Virgo’s commitment to me, yet I still held a piece of my heart tightly in my clenched fists for fear he’d leave like the last one and break my heart. It never occurred to me it would be his death that would crush me. I don’t question Mr. FixIt’s commitment either, and I haven’t held anything back. It’s liberating. Can I get crushed again. Yes, of course. But death has taught me I can survive anything so I don’t live in fear anymore. I have soft hands. And that is a much more graceful way to live.

\n

❤️

\n
“Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.”\n

Philippians 4:5 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2019-09-05T01:30:37-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/09/05/soft-hands.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","Growth","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Aging","Change","Widow","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/08/22/i-miss-my-camper.html", "title": "I Miss My Camper!", "content_html": "

\"\" “It’s amazing how a queen size mattress fits in there.”

\n

I’m missing my camper. I still have Big TOW-Wanda, but she’s not equipped to camp in right now. I removed her shades as soon as I bought her and they were stored at the farm. At the beginning of summer, I was seriously considering selling her because I had the little camper. I brought the shade back from the farm and they are on the floor, the bed isn’t made, and it’s too hot to sleep out there unless the AC is running. Every time I try to turn on the AC with the camper connected to the house, it trips the circuit. Now that Little TOW-Wanda is gone, I’m having second thoughts about selling the big camper. It would be really nice to have a seasonal site on the river and she would be perfect for that.  

\n

So, we have been sleeping in the house. We got really spoiled by the memory foam mattress in the little camper. It’s honestly the best sleep we’ve both had because we toss and turn a lot at night. The old mattress we have in the house shakes like crazy every time one of us rolls over. Not so with memory foam. You could drop a bowling ball on one side and not wake the other person. We managed to salvage the mattress out of the little camper before I sold it in Colorado, but we couldn’t figure out a way to get it and everything else home. We decided to give it to Ben & Sue and put it in their guest bedroom.

\n

We finally decided to give in and buy a mattress just like the one in the little camper. We had to do some sleuthing, but we finally found the same mattress by Serta for sale at Sam’s Club. After several trips to our local Sam’s, we never found the queen size in stock so we ordered it online and it arrived yesterday.

\n

I don’t know if you have ever seen how these mattresses are shipped or not. They come vacuum packed and rolled up tightly, wrapped in heavy plastic, and shipped in a box. And, they are heavy! I managed to get the old mattress off the bed and when Mr. FixIt got home, we unpacked the new mattress and placed it on the box springs. We unwrapped it, unrolled it, and took the protective vacuum bag off. Like magic it went from a compressed three inch thick mat to a perfect twelve inch thick mattress in a matter of minutes! It was astonishing!

\n

Now that we have a memory foam mattress inside, will we ever sleep outside in the field in a camper again? Oh, you can bet your boots we will. We’ll just have to wait till it gets cooler. And, it won’t be too long till we can pick up the new camper at the RV show and it will be a moot point anyway. Lots of camping adventures are in the works. I’ve started making and strategizing! In the meantime, I am determined to sleep like a baby on this wonderful new mattress!

\n

❤️

\n
“Suddenly a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat. But Jesus was sleeping.”\n

Matthew 8:24 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2019-08-22T01:30:52-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/08/22/i-miss-my-camper.html", "tags": ["Health","Travel","Overcoming Obstacles","Gratitude","Comfort","Peace","Aging","Change","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/08/20/do-you-remember-when.html", "title": "Do You Remember When.....?", "content_html": "

\"Old “Clockwise from Top Right: Phone Booth, Fireweed, Joe Pye Weed, Naked Ladies (Belladona Lily)

\n

Mr. FixIt took the day off yesterday. I had to run a couple of errands, but I was back home by noon. The temperature was already well into the 90’s by then and I actually had the thought…”Ok, I’m done. I’m ready for FALL!” Cool, crisp days with a warm sweater, sipping a mug of cider while gazing at the changing of the leaves suddenly sounds very appealing to me. And this from a woman who hates fall because winter is right behind it. Not this year…I’m ready for this sweltering heat wave to break.

\n

We never did put the window air conditioner in the family room this summer. Mostly because we were gone a lot. And also, it didn’t get all that hot till we were ready to leave on our big trip out west. At this point, I told Mr. FixIt we should just skip that particular ordeal this year altogether. It is quite a chore getting that huge air conditioner into the window and before we know it, we won’t need it anyway. That being said, we were both tired of the heat by 5:00 so he asked me if I wanted to go for a drive with him. 

\n

We love going for drives in the countryside. West Virginia has the best roads for drives and there’s always something interesting around the next bend. We kept remarking how overgrown everything is from all the rain this summer. Old abandoned houses are all but swallowed up by vines that threaten to take them by force into the woods. The Joe Pye Weed covers the roadsides with its smoky pink blossoms. Naked Ladies (Belladona Lilies) poke their heads up in the corners of rural lawns. Dark pink Fireweed mingles with Goldenrod, Queen Anne’s Lace, and Black-eyed Susans. They all look like weeds, but they are West Virginia’s cacophony of late summer wildflowers.

\n

We had no idea where we would end up. We drove past the greenhouses in Palestine and saw they are filled with baskets of mums that will bloom in October. We drove past the place where they used to produce railroad ties. Mr. FixIt said the trucks traveled by night because their loads were always way over the weight limit. He said you could tell it was the railroad ties because the heavy night air smelled of creosote long after they’d passed.

\n

We finally pulled into Spencer, West Virginia…an old town built on the backs of the oil, gas, and timber industries. There are some beautiful old houses there. At one time, the State Psychiatric Hospital was located there and if you weren’t good growing up, “you’ll get hauled off to Spencer” was fair warning to shape up. Now it’s just like any other tired, old town in the Mountain State…bored adolescent boys yelling from passing cars, bored adolescent girls giggling in the booth at Wendy’s over a series of texts and photos they were sharing. An old man climbed into a car with barely enough room for him to sit in the driver’s seat. The rest of the car was filled wall-to-wall and floor-to-ceiling with trash. Literal trash. He opened the door to the back seat and carefully placed his half-full cup of soda on top of the pile, closed the door, and got in to drive off to who knows where.

\n

The Wendy’s was impeccably clean inside so we stopped for a bite to eat before we drove on to Ripley, then past Ravenswood to Mineral Wells and on home. Mr. Fixit said it would be dark by the time we got home and he was right. I love these kind of evenings with him…away from the television, going for a drive, holding hands and laughing and telling stories. It occurred to me, one of the very best things about our relationship is…even though we’ve only been together since late 2016, we have so many memories in common. We were best friends in high school. While he lived all but a few years of his life within a 20 mile radius of where we were born, I lived two years in England and forty years in Colorado. But, I still came home for a visit every year so I had my finger on the pulse of my hometown. We lived our lives in a parallel trajectory for sixty-some years before our paths crossed for good. We have much of the same history and memories.

\n

As the sun was beginning to make it’s last glorious descent over the beautiful Ohio River, I saw this phone booth standing alone near the Wendy’s parking lot. I turned to Mr FixIt and smiled.

\n

“Do you remember when…..?”

\n

❤️

\n
“But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.”\n

Luke 2:19 NIV

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\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2019-08-20T01:30:50-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/08/20/do-you-remember-when.html", "tags": ["Family","Travel","Uplifting Stories","Positive Energy","Fun","West Virginia","Gratitude","Comfort","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Aging","Choices","Be Joyful!","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/08/19/bowling-season-has-begun.html", "title": "Bowling Season Has Begun", "content_html": "

\"Pink “Pink roses and strawberries…and bowling season. Somebody loves me!”

\n

Mr. FixIt is an avid bowler. He’s been on two bowling leagues for the last thirty-five years and he enjoys it immensely. He has friends there. He has ample opportunity to talk. It’s his guy time. And, I enjoy having a couple of evenings a week to do whatever I want to do as well. Honestly, I fell asleep late in the afternoon and didn’t hear him leave. When I woke up, I caught up with my Sunday evening phone calls and chats so it was a relaxing evening.

\n

When he arrived home, he went into the kitchen to fix something to eat and we were trying to carry on a conversation while I was in the family room. He called out, “You know…I could hear you better if you were in here with me.” Of course! Sometimes we get so wrapped up in what we’re doing, we forget the basic manners and niceties we should offer those we love most.

\n

I walked into the kitchen and there on the counter was a dozen pink roses and two cartons of fresh strawberries! I am always thunderstruck when he surprises me with these lovely unexpected gifts of love. 

\n

I looked at him and smiled. “What’s this?”

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“It’s been a little while since I brought you flowers. It was time.” He smiled back.

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What goodness this is…this life that is sweeter than any red strawberry…softer than any pink rosebud. This is a blessing. This is God’s gift to me. This man who lifts me up and celebrates who I am. Who cheers me on and encourages me to explore and be everything I can be. This man who holds my hand in church and prays alongside me. Who holds me and comforts me when I am sick or sad. I only pray I give him this same love back every day of my life.

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There was so much sadness in my life after Mr. Virgo died. I swore I would never fall in love…never remarry…because the thought of going through that again was too much to bear. Then color came back into my life. And I could hear music and I could breathe and somehow I knew I could love again. I don’t know how long we have together…but it’s bowling season and I have strawberries and pink roses and my life is good.

\n

❤️

\n
“Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.”\n

Matthew 5:4 NIV

\n 

\n", "date_published": "2019-08-19T01:30:06-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/08/19/bowling-season-has-begun.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","Fun","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Aging","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!","Widow","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/08/06/making-our-way-back-home.html", "title": "Making Our Way Back Home", "content_html": "

\"Nebraska “Truckin’ across Nebraska”

\n

Yesterday was a challenge. First, I was still so wound up from the wedding and the super long drive home, I couldn’t settle down and was still awake at 4:00 in the morning. We woke up at 7:00 and had to try to fit all the stuff from the camper into the bed of the truck and still make sure the tonneau cover would close. We finally made all but a couple things fit and were finished at 10:30. We waited till Ben got home so we could say our goodbyes and finally hit the road at about 11:00.

\n

I drove all day and we pulled into York, Nebraska…just shy of Lincoln…at about 7:30. We marveled at how green everything is. I have never traveled I-80 as my route between Colorado and West Virginia, but there are major closures on I-70 in St. Louis and Kansas City for construction. We were going to stop in Kearney, NE but they had nine inches of rain on July 8th and all the hotels and restaurants were flooded. There are only about 3 or 4 hotels open and they were either full or pricey. So we drove on.

\n

The flooding certainly explains why everything is so green here. The mountains of Colorado were the same way and that is good news for the communities who worry about forest fires. It’s not good news here in Nebraska. The farmers here have had a hard time getting crops in the ground…especially wheat. There’s corn to beat the band but not all of it has tasseled yet.

\n

It was interesting watching the crop dusters all along the highway. I’ve only seen them once in my life and they were everywhere! I’m not sure what they were spraying and I certainly hope it doesn’t harm the honeybees!

\n

Today, we keep on truckin’!

\n

❤️

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“Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path.”\n

Psalm 119:105 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2019-08-06T01:30:16-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/08/06/making-our-way-back-home.html", "tags": ["Colorado","Family","Travel","Overcoming Obstacles","Fun","West Virginia","Gratitude","Love","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/08/03/basking-in-the-glow-of.html", "title": "Basking in the Glow of Family", "content_html": "

\"Sunset “The sun goes down on the evening before my baby’s wedding. My heart is full!”

\n

Last night was amazing. Every fear and trepidation I had beforehand dissipated as soon as we pulled into the driveway at Hubby #2’s house. He was so gracious, as was his wife. Their house is stunning. Their dogs are the sweetest things. Daughter #1 and her family were there when we arrived and soon after, my sister- and brother-in-law arrived from Utah. Oh, my gosh! It was so exciting to see them all!

\n

Just before dinner, my daughter and her fiancée arrived and we were a complete family. My brother enjoyed everyone and joined in the conversations. It really was perfect. What I learned from this: When you hand things over to God to take care of…you have to let go of it. I knew as I was driving over from Glenwood Springs…this was going to be good. This was going to be very, very good.

\n

After dinner, Daughter #2 came to me and said, “Mama…I have something for you to do tomorrow. You’re in charge of this…and making sure he has a seat at my wedding.”

\n

With that she handed me a framed photo of Mr. Virgo. She was very close to her stepfather and losing him was so hard on her. The suddenness of seeing his smiling face…so totally unexpected…took my breath away and I started crying. I wasn’t the only one. It was a very special moment and it still makes me tearful as I write this. What a beautiful gesture…what a beautiful God moment….what love…what treasures I have in this family.

\n

My baby is getting married today. My heart is so full! Thank you Jesus for every gift you have given me in this life!

\n

❤️

\n
“Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame. Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot sweep it away. If one were to give all the wealth of one’s house for love, it would be utterly scorned.”\n

Song of Songs 8:6-7 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2019-08-03T01:30:27-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/08/03/basking-in-the-glow-of.html", "tags": ["Faith","Colorado","Family","Travel","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Courage","Choices","Be Joyful!","Widow","Marriage","Wedding"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/07/29/abundance.html", "title": "Abundance", "content_html": "

\"Weminuche “Heading into the Weminuche Wilderness”

\n

Joyful abundance! Mr. FixIt is such a great traveler. I love showing him places he hasn’t seen. As a matter of fact, he told me the other night his neck hurts from swiveling back and forth, trying to take it all in. We arrived in Pagosa Springs on Friday afternoon. This is where Mr. Virgo and I lived in 2008. He was the General Manager for a 4200 acre luxury resort here and I did the marketing and catering. It was a short-lived position as our job was to try to turn their losses into profits and try as we might, it was not to be. This is the nature of being a fixer. If you can’t, they close and you lose your job. If you can, they sell and you lose your job. We didn’t really expect to be there long term.

\n

Pagosa Springs is a gorgeous area and I enjoyed the rugged beauty of it. I did not like the short summer, long winter, and gobs of snow. So I was just as happy to get out of there and move on. Still, it is someplace I wanted Mr. FixIt to see and experience. We went out for a wonderful breakfast yesterday morning then headed to the backroads. Mr. Virgo and I used to spend every day off exploring the many dirt roads in the Weminuche Wilderness. This is where I came when I started my grief journey in Little TOW-Wanda. I carried strands of Mr. Virgo’s silver hair into the dense woods above Williams Lake and buried them at the base of a tree, affixing a cross to mark the spot.

\n

We didn’t walk back into the woods yesterday. That wasn’t part of the deal. That was mine…my memory. As a matter of fact, as we drove deeper and deeper into the woods, I felt Mr. Virgo so strongly…as if he were gliding along with us. I told Mr. FixIt story after story. Here’s where we worked. Here’s where we shopped. Here’s where we loved to eat dinner. There’s the car wash where they had to unfreeze the doors so we could get out. That little bakery has the best pastries. This restaurant has the best coffee. My sweet husband held my hand and smiled and nodded and encouraged me to share because he knows this helps me heal and move forward. 

\n

Then…in the middle of the afternoon, we found out…great grandchild #3 is on the way!!! Another little boy…arriving in January!!!

\n

My heart is about to explode! THIS!!! This is what I so very nearly lost in January 2000 when I overdosed. At the time, my world was so small, so dark, so difficult and I couldn’t see anything beyond that darkness. And now…look at this! My world is so blessed with such abundance and joy, I can hardly contain myself! Babies! The Wedding! My sweet husband! My wonderful family! My health! My heart!

\n

Thank you…..thank you dearest Heavenly Father…for healing my family…for healing me…for giving me Mr. Virgo to show me I was worthy of earthly love…for giving me Mr. FixIt for helping me through the most difficult period of my life…and for this tremendous family, mine and his, that brings our numbers up and up and up! I’m so high on life, you have to scrape me off the clouds!

\n

❤️

\n
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”\n

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2019-07-29T01:30:54-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/07/29/abundance.html", "tags": ["Faith","Health","Family","Travel","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Hope","Positive Energy","Fun","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Humbled","Aging","Change","Be Joyful!","Widow","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/07/26/road-trippin.html", "title": "Road Trippin’", "content_html": "

\"Loveland “Views from Loveland Pass”

\n

We got a slow start yesterday. We cleaned out the truck and packed, checked and rechecked to make sure we had everything, then almost pulled away without my brother’s package we waited for. Once we retrieved that, we were on our way! We drove over to the west side of town, down through Golden, then out Clear Creek Canyon and picked up I-70 at Idaho Springs. I love starting out my trips that way. The canyon immediately makes you feel like you’re in the mountains and you don’t have to run the gauntlet that is Floyd Hill.

\n

We exited the interstate just before the Eisenhower Tunnel and took Route 6 over Loveland Pass. We have a function on our GPS that tells you what your elevation is. It was right on…11,995 feet at the top of the pass. We stopped and took lots of pictures along the way. It was so much fun to play tourist and show Mr. FixIt some of the hidden beauty of Colorado.

\n

We dropped down into Keystone then on into Frisco. I was hoping the weather would be cooperative and we could check out the chuck wagon dinner at Two Below Zero, but it was really cool and rainy so we decided to try another time. We walked the streets of Frisco, checked out the little shops, and ate dinner at Bread + Salt. I wasn’t overly impressed, but I was hungry so it was ok. 

\n

This is a Gypsy trip…one without reservations, except for the wedding stay. We sat in the truck and browsed the hotel.com app and chose a hotel in Keystone with a really reasonable price. $76…but with taxes and fees it was $92. Welcome to tourism in Colorado. The room was perfectly fine. The beds were comfy and clean, there wasn’t an exceptional amount of noise, and there’s a complimentary breakfast. You can’t beat that when you consider most of the others in the tourist towns here are upwards of $200 a night.

\n

The biggest problem that occurred was when I went to check in. I cannot find my driver’s license anywhere. I’ve searched through everything. The last time I remember having it was at the Quick Care on the 22nd. I called them and the pharmacy and they don’t have it. So now I have to see if I can get a replacement sent to me here. It’s not the end of the world and it certainly won’t ruin my fun. But I am frustrated that I’ve misplaced it.

\n

I have no idea where we’ll end up today, but no matter where it is, it will be beautiful! Colorado has some stunning scenery!!! Oh…and please send up a little prayer for our family that is scheduled to grow in the next day or two. Our great grandson will make his debut in West Virginia and we can’t be there to welcome him. Prayers for a safe delivery and a healthy, happy baby, mama, and daddy!

\n

❤️

\n
“If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.”\n

1 Corinthians 13:2 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2019-07-26T01:30:44-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/07/26/road-trippin.html", "tags": ["Colorado","Family","Travel","Hope","Positive Energy","Fun","Gratitude","Love","God","Peace","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/07/15/a-celebration.html", "title": "A Celebration", "content_html": "

\"Celebrating\" “Celebrating a love…and a life.”

\n

When Mr. FixIt and I got married last October, it was really a rather spur of the moment decision. I didn’t wan’t my kids to have to spend money to come out for the wedding when we were planning a trip to Colorado this summer anyway. So, I told them we would just have a dinner together with those we love and celebrate that way.

\n

Yesterday was our day to celebrate our wedding with our Colorado peeps. Daughter #1 organized it and we had fourteen people over for the same menu we served at the actual wedding…pulled pork sandwiches, coleslaw, chips, and drinks. In lieu of a wedding cake, and the fact that we all need to fit in our pretty dresses in three weeks for Daughter #2’s wedding, we had fruit salad instead of cake.

\n

It was wonderful to have our loved ones around us. I really wanted them to spend some time with Mr. FixIt and get to know him better…and vice versa. It was such a lovely day and everyone had a great time.  And, today is my daughter and son-in-law’s 24th Weddiing Anniversary! Remembering that beautiful day and hoping they have many, many more!

\n

I am so blessed to have these wonderful people in my life.

\n

I ended the day with a note of sadness, however. I found out a sweet friend of mine died after a ten year struggle with cancer. Rae Ann and I connected six years ago after I joined Sisters on the Fly. She was the only Sister in my area. Rae Ann had an infectious laugh, a gravely voice, and was the best storyteller. She could make your sides split without even trying. I had the very good fortune of camping with her several times. The last time was after she found out her cancer could not be cured. She taught me so much about living the life you have to the fullest. She was camping and kayaking up to the last couple of weeks of her life. She will be dearly missed by all who knew and loved her. Rest in peace, Rae Ann. You were a shining example of living in the moment and I celebrate your life today!

\n

❤️

\n
“Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, \"I will never leave you nor forsake you.\"”\n

Hebrews 13:5 ESV

\n 

\n", "date_published": "2019-07-15T01:30:49-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/07/15/a-celebration.html", "tags": ["Colorado","Family","Strong Women","Sisters on the Fly","Positive Energy","Fun","Gratitude","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Warning","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!","Widow","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/07/11/blog-inspiration.html", "title": "Blog Inspiration", "content_html": "

\"Midsummer’s “Enjoying a midsummer’s eve in Colorado.”

\n

I was talking about my blog the other day with the owner of a lovely antique store in Minturn, Colorado. Just a stone’s throw from the glitz and glamour of Vail, Minturn still holds that little mining town feel it’s had for decades. It is kind of land bound…there can’t be a ton of new expansion and building outrageous mansions for the rich and famous. The town center is located just two miles off I-70, but it seems like a step back in time.

\n

I told the owner of the shop that my life experiences are “blog fodder”. Just about everything I do, I look for the gold in the moment. I ask myself, “How can I weave this into an interesting story without sounding like Aunt Bertha describing her breakfast for the umpteenth time?” I always look for ways my posts can be positive, uplifting, encouraging, and even empowering. I want you to come away with something good for your day…even if it’s just a smile or a giggle.

\n

Yesterday was bittersweet as I began emptying the camper and packing the items away in plastic bins. I need to be able to fit everything in my truck, including what Mr. FixIt brings with him from West Virginia. I’ll list it tomorrow so people can shop over the weekend and hopefully she will find a new home and someone will love her as much as I have. We girl campers have a strong attachment to our little homes on wheels.

\n

I bought some of those big ziplock bags that you vacuum the air out of and the compress the contents for easy storage. I’d never used them before but they were amazing. Ben and Sue have a huge dining room table to accommodate our large family at dinners. I had the top of that table piled two feet deep with pillows, blankets, towels, and my fur throw. By the time I got the items packed and the air vacuumed out, I couldn’t believe how compact it was. There is room in the back under the tonneau cover for one more large bin with some extra space around them. These bags will easily slip between and on top of the plastic bins, keeping the contents from getting wet.

\n

When I was finished with my chores for the day, I went out on the back porch to write. Sue has the most beautiful flowers this summer. It has been rainy and cool up to this week so they are thriving. It’s unusual to keep pots this pretty by the middle of July here in the semi-arid climate of Colorado. The air cooled to a reasonable 81 degrees by 8:30 so I sat there for a long time…admiring the beauty of a midsummer’s eve.

\n

I hope you are enjoying your summer. I was telling Sue at supper list night…I think I’ve only been home a week or so since the last week of May. It’s ok…I’m having a wonderful time and it will only be made better by Mr. FixIt’s arrival on Saturday. Two more sleeps!!!

\n

❤️

\n
“In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.”\n

Ephesians 5:28 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2019-07-11T01:30:12-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/07/11/blog-inspiration.html", "tags": ["Family","Travel","TOW-Wanda!","Fun","Growth","Gratitude","Love","Peace","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/06/30/americas-bread-basket-is-baking.html", "title": "America’s Bread Basket is Baking!", "content_html": "

\"Snaps “Clockwise from top left: My rig in the summer sun in Kansas, the long straight stretch that is Kansas…look how green!, my digital laser thermometer that I use to check my hub temperatures at every stop, me looking decidedly fresher in the AM than I was by evening!”

\n

You know you are getting into farm and ranch land when you start seeing billboards advertising bovine genetics and DEKALB seed corn. I left the Lazy Day Campground in Danville, Missouri yesterday morning about 8:00. It was a very long, very HOT day. A section of I-70 was closed at Kansas City so I took the recommended detour. I recognized it as the route I usually take anyway to avoid downtown. There is one interchange on the interstate near the city where you have to get from the right hand side onramp to a left hand side exit in less than 1/4 mile. Pulling a camper makes that a real challenge, let me tell you!!! At least it wasn’t with big TOW-Wanda on a Friday night at rush hour. We have to look for the little things!

\n

When I was emptying the tanks on the camper before I left yesterday, it wasn’t 8:00 yet and the sun would take the hide right off of you. The temperature quickly soared to the high 90’s and by the time I was halfway through Kansas, it was 100. The low was only expected to go down to 80 so I stopped and got a hotel room. When I first got in the room, I cranked up the air conditioner and stretched out on the bed. I texted Mr. FixIt and said, “I am NEVER doing this again!!!” He texted back that I don’t have to. I’m holding him to it! 

\n

Ok, it was the third day. It was hard. It was hot. I was tired and probably a little hungry and dehydrated. And knowing I have over 350 more miles to go had me feeling really sorry for myself there for a few minutes. But, once I rested for a while and got something to eat and drink, I felt a ton better. When I stop tonight, it’s going to be at my son-in-law’s parents’ house so I’ll be with family. It’s going to take me a week to rest up and acclimate to the altitude. Mr. FixIt will join me on the 13th so that time will pass quickly.

\n

I had a lot of time to think about this as I was driving yesterday. I don’t like being this far away from Mr. FixIt. I thought about that from every angle. I asked myself if it was co-dependency. I don’t think it’s that at all. I do all kinds of things without him and I don’t need to be attached at the hip. I talked with my dear friend Deneene about this last night. She lost her husband unexpectedly about a year after Mr. Virgo died. She is also recently remarried. We decided it’s not co-dependency at all. It’s the fact that we KNOW what can happen and how quickly it can come. I don’t think it’s that I’m doing something without him. It’s that I’m doing something so far away from him and I can’t get to him quickly. THAT I don’t like at all.

\n

Still, it is fun in many ways. I’ve seen some beautiful countryside. The sky was blue and wide open. I’ve forgotten what that looks like living in West Virginia. (I took the picture while driving but my phone was in a cradle and all I did was touch the screen. No eyes off the road for me!) I don’t have anything pressing to do once I get to Denver so I can relax and catch up on my rest, keep myself really hydrated to counteract the altitude, knit, write, and visit with my Colorado peeps. I could not believe how green Kansas is. They had the same long, drawn out, wet spring everyone else had. It is so hard to believe the temperature is in the high 90’s in Colorado and one week ago they had two feet of snow. Crazy weather!

\n

Oh, see that picture bottom right? That’s my digital laser thermometer. After burning up an axle in Indiana two summer ago, I check my hubs religiously…every time I stop and get out of the truck. I know you can just put your hand down there and feel if it’s hot, but how hot is too hot and if it IS that hot, you’ll burn the heck out of your hand. I keep watch on it and it’s always between 100-110. That’s perfect. If it goes up, it means the bearings need grease.

\n

Well, I’m on the last leg of this Grand Adventure. The last leg of the first part of it, anyway! It’s just me and Jesus…making our way west!

\n

❤️

\n

“….“The Lord watch between you and me, when we are out of one another’s sight.”

\n

Genesis 31:49 ESV

\n

#Separation, #Marriage, #Adventure

\n", "date_published": "2019-06-30T01:30:10-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/06/30/americas-bread-basket-is-baking.html", "tags": ["Faith","Travel","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","The Grand Adventure","Fun","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Aging","Choices","Change","Widow","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/06/28/road-trip-cant-keep-a.html", "title": "Road Trip: Can’t Keep a Good Gal Down!", "content_html": "

\"A “A Shady Spot”

\n

If you would have asked me at 10:00 Wednesday night, I would have told you (as I told you this morning) there was NO WAY I was going to leave for Colorado yesterday morning. Ahhhh…but, once I got past the icky stomach, took my tummy medicine, and slept a solid eight hours, it was a whole different ballgame.

\n

Because I was getting up and down, I slept in the guest room so I wouldn’t wake up Mr. FixIt. I awoke before dawn…around 5:00…and felt great. I read my devotionals and caught up on some correspondence then my sweetheart came to check on me around 7:00. I met him with a big smile and said I was good to go! He smiled back with relief. He doesn’t like it when I’m sick anymore that the other way around.

\n

It took a couple of hours to finish packing the truck and camper and I was on the road by 9:00. My first stop was Walmart to pick up a few things. I had some things to return. I got back to the camper and put away my purchases and got in the truck. There were my return items sitting on the front seat. Oy! I really didn’t want to cart them to Colorado so I went back in and stood in a long, slow line. But, it’s done and I was out before too long.

\n

The next and final stop was gas and a great big drink to stay hydrated on my trip. The young gal behind the counter was very excited because she is leaving on vacation today. Her very first camping trip! Well, I turned right back around and talked with her for awhile! I sure hope she has a grand time and decides to keep right on camping! Those first few camping trips are critical. You’ll either love it or hate it.

\n

It was really hot yesterday and about midway through my drive, I pulled over into a rest area to stretch out on my bed. Well, it was over 90 degrees! Of course, when you pull into a rest area, there’s no electricity, so no AC. You need to improvise. The last time I drove cross country alone, I stopped in Kansas for a rest and needed to do something to cool off. I had a tiny little battery fan and a cold pack from the freezer. It worked ever so slightly, but it wasn’t long before the cold pack was melted and that was the end of that.

\n

When I was at Walmart yesterday, I bought two 10” fans that are powered by fan and batteries. I’ve also taken to carrying a very large bottle of water that I keep in the freezer of the camper. Went I stretched out on my bed yesterday, I sat the large frozen container in a basin and put the fan behind it. I also had three water bottles I had frozen. I set them up in front of the other fan. I positioned myself in front of the cool air and had a lovely mini siesta. Perfect! I popped all the bottles back in the freezer before I pulled back on the highway.

\n

\"Hillbilly “Hillbilly Air Conditioner!”

\n

That right there is a little hillbilly ingenuity. Appalachians are a resourceful lot. I arrived at my favorite little campground in Richmond, Indiana at around 5:30…had supper from my slow cooker and enjoyed the beautiful surroundings as the sun went down. I tried to keep from turning on the AC, but it was still 85 degrees at 8:00 and I was done with the heat by that time. I’ve never slept all night with the AC on in this little camper. It’s pretty noisy in this tiny little space.

\n

I wrote early last night so I could have a good solid night’s sleep. Yesterday was a long day, but I didn’t get very far. That’s usually how it works on the first day out. For me, anyway. I monitored all the systems on the camper and the truck and everything worked just as it should so I don’t foresee any difficulties. As always, I say my prayers for travel mercies. I appreciate when you do, as well.

\n

Have a beautiful Friday!!!

\n

❤️

\n
“Guard me, O Lord, from the hands of the wicked; preserve me from violent men, who have planned to trip up my feet.”\n

Psalms 140:4 ESV

\n 

\n", "date_published": "2019-06-28T01:30:19-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/06/28/road-trip-cant-keep-a.html", "tags": ["Faith","Travel","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","TOW-Wanda!","The Grand Adventure","Fun","Growth","Gratitude","Love","Peace","Courage","Choices","Change","Widow","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/06/26/a-tidy-purchase.html", "title": "A Tidy Purchase", "content_html": "

\"Tonneau “A tonneau cover turned out to be an extraordinary pargain!”

\n

I told you all yesterday about our great find…a tonneau cover for my truck. We installed it yesterday and it was SO easy. It only took about fifteen minutes to do. We had to trim a couple small places in order for the tailgate to close, but that was super easy to do. We didn’t realize exactly how good this deal was till Mr. FixIt looked up this particular model of cover. New, they sell for nearly $800! And the carpeted bed liner sells for almost $500! We got them both for $75!!! Ok, I’m a little excited! Such a good bargain hunter I have for a husband.

\n

We went to the farm yesterday. It appears the young man we had arranged to mow the yard…didn’t. But that’s ok. It is still mow-able without having to bale it. It is awfully wet out there. In the two weeks we were gone, the farm got over four inches of rain. We only got two at the Ponderosa. The ground is soggy when you walk out there. The house at the farm sits back in a holler and doesn’t get much sunlight. It’s nice for keeping cool, but causes a lot of problems with mold and mildew.

\n

We noticed some evidence of termites this time. The first time I’ve seen that so we need to jump on that right away. I did a deep cleaning out there because my uncle is coming for a visit while I’m in Colorado and I wanted fresh bed linens for him. I mopped the floors and dusted. Mr. FixIt cleared off the back porch and scrubbed it down. Everything looked wonderful when we were finished.

\n

I had every intention of leaving for Colorado today, but have decided to wait till tomorrow. This way I don’t have to run at breakneck speed getting everything done and I can take my time. The linens have all been washed and put back on the bed. I have some items to take out of the camper…things I took camping at Blackwater Falls and won’t need on this trip. This will cut down on the weight I pull which will improve my fuel consumption.

\n

Oh, another thing Mr. FixIt did for me. Something was wrong with the water pump in the little camper. A water pump is supposed to turn on, build up pressure, then shut off. It only comes back on when the water pressure drops as you’re using water in the sink or toilet. Mine wouldn’t shut off. It ran on and on and was dreadfully loud. While we were in Florida, we discussed it and I ordered a new pump. It was here when we returned. Mr. FixIt installed it yesterday and it works perfectly! Now the only things I have to do is replace the shower nozzle and test out the hot water heater and we’re in business. Having your own shower when you camp is such a luxury.

\n

I’m really getting excited now about the trip. I can’t wait to see my Colorado family…I’ve missed them so much! Today will be fun packing and preparing for a much needed road trip. Many of you asked yesterday. Mr. FixIt will fly out in a few weeks to join me before the wedding. Then, we will camp around Colorado and all the way back across the country. I’ve been looking forward to this trip for a whole year…I can hardly wait to get started and savor every single moment!!!

\n

❤️

\n
“Blessed shall you be when you come in, and blessed shall you be when you go out.”    Deuteronomy 28:6 ESV
\n", "date_published": "2019-06-26T01:30:58-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/06/26/a-tidy-purchase.html", "tags": ["Family","Travel","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","Fun","New Ideas","Gratitude","Comfort","Wisdom","Choices","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/06/24/the-simple-things.html", "title": "The Simple Things", "content_html": "

\"Tractor “My birthday present…a shade for the tractor!”

\n

Mr. FixIt and I were in Florida on my birthday. Like most men…smart men, anyway…he wanted me to tell him what I would like for my birthday. I told him, if I were younger, I would dearly love to have a chainsaw. He smiled. I told him all the great things I would do with a chain saw. The only thing is, I don’t have the upper body strength to do much with a chain saw anymore. So it was a rather moot point.

\n

I couldn’t think of anything else. I don’t need tchotchkes. I like to buy my own clothes. I don’t need jewelry or anything fancy. Experiences are the best, but I was even drawing a blank for that. Finally, I told him there would come a moment when I would know exactly what I would like to have for my birthday and he could buy it then.

\n

After church yesterday, we stopped at Lowes to pick up some dust masks so I can mow without worrying about getting another sinus infection. While we were there, I turned to Mr. FixIt. 

\n

“Do they make some sort of umbrella or something to put on the riding mower so when I’m out mowing, I’m not sitting out in the hot sun?”

\n

“I’m sure they do, sweetheart. Let’s go look.”

\n

We came around the corner to the riding mower display and there, before my very eyes, was exactly what I wanted! My husband always looks at me in a rather bemused way…as though I’m some sort of strange and exotic creature he’s never seen before. And, I suppose in a way, I am. He has never known a woman who would want a sunshade for the riding mower as her birthday present.

\n

When we got home, he put my shade together and…unfortunately…there was a piece that was broken on it. I managed to fiddle with it and made it work yesterday while I was mowing, but we will return it for one that isn’t broken. It worked really well. The only think is, you have to be really careful when you are going under trees because the low hanging limbs will knock it down. 

\n

When I finished mowing, I came around the corner and Mr. FixIt was in the pool cleaning it out so that when I was done, I could take a refreshing dip. What a sweet man! Afterward, we went to the local pizza joint. We ran into my cousins and visited with them while we ate. It was a perfect, sunny summer day. My grandma would have declared we are “knee deep in June.” She would have been absolutely correct!

\n

❤️

\n
“While the earth remains, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night, shall not cease.\"”\n

Genesis 8:22 ESV

\n", "date_published": "2019-06-24T01:30:28-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/06/24/the-simple-things.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Fun","Gratitude","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Aging","Choices","Be Joyful!","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/06/16/on-the-mend.html", "title": "On the Mend", "content_html": "

\"Sunset\" “Another beautiful day at the beach.”

\n

Something no one wants to do when they’re on vacation is visit an urgent care. I’ve had a sinus infection for over two weeks and even with a week of antibiotics, I woke up yesterday and was miserable. I knew if I was going to enjoy this vacation at all, I was going to need the right medication so I gave in and went.

\n

I have only visited one quick care before. When I was married to Hubby #2, the doctor, we referred to them as Doc in the Box. We always kind of looked at them as “sort of” doctors. I was so pleasantly surprised by the Atlantic Urgent Care & Walk In Clinic. On a Saturday morning in the height of beach season, I was out of there in less than hour. They were professional and efficient and caring. I got the right meds, started taking them right away, and within a couple of hours, I was feeling 100% better.

\n

We went out for a late breakfast then went to the Arts & Science Museum. What an incredible display they had. They house the collection of the Root family…inventors of the Coca Cola bottle. It was really interesting. I think we had more fun in the Children’s Museum section than anything. We played with all the displays and didn’t feel self conscious at all because it was full of adults doing the same thing.

\n

Afterwards, it was out for a really great meal at Giuseppe’s Pizza. Home for a nap and finished up the day sitting out on the beach till well after dark. There are free concerts and fireworks down at the pavilion about five miles away every Saturday night. We sat out and watched the fireworks and the stars. It was beautiful.

\n

So glad to feel more myself and I’m looking forward to really enjoying our vacation now.

\n

❤️

\n
“Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well.”    \n

3 John 1:2 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2019-06-16T01:30:42-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/06/16/on-the-mend.html", "tags": ["Health","Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","Wisdom","Choices","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/06/13/happy-birthday.html", "title": "Happy Birthday!", "content_html": "

\"Night “Happy Birthday, to ME!”

\n

June is my birthday month. 

\n

I love June. I love my birthday. So I just combine them and celebrate the whole month!

\n

After sleeping twelve hours straight on Tuesday night, Mr. FixIt and I went down to the beach and walked then played in the pool for a while. After lunch, I took a three hour nap. Seeing a trend there? It’s all about ME ‘cause it’s my birthday month!

\n

Just as I woke up, Mr. FixIt walked in to make sure I didn’t sleep too long and not be able to sleep later. Then he asked me that question every woman longs to hear.

\n

“How would you like to go eat ice cream for dinner?”

\n

Back off girls…I saw him first!

\n

Yes, ladies…I have married the perfect man. Not only does he celebrate my birthday with me for a month…but he also takes me out for an ice cream dinner. Sexiest man alive.

\n

After a dinner of butter pecan in a chocolate dipped waffle cone, we drove around. We shopped at a couple of Mr. FixIt’s stores. We found Aldi’s and picked up a few groceries. Wonderful strawberries for a dollar.

\n

A simple day…Birthday Eve.

\n

Today is my actual birthday.

\n

Sixty-six. Wow. Why does it sound so much older than sixty-five?

\n

Some of the grandchildren were over Monday evening before we left. I told them how old I was going to be.

\n

“Sixty-six! Can you believe that? It has been half a century since I was sixteen! Half a century!!! You know that’s fifty years, right???”

\n

My wise grandson-in-law said, “Did it go fast?”

\n

How do you answer that? Yes…it flew by in a nanosecond! No, it lasted forever! It’s both.

\n

It’s the coolest thing…to be sixteen plus fifty. I was sixteen in 1969…the summer of love. “God Bless Pink Summers ‘69!” That’s how my best friend signed her letters when she was off at a summer internship. Woodstock. Rock and Roll. Hippies. Bell bottoms. Long hair. 

\n

I thought I was free. 

\n

I was so wrong.

\n

It took living those fifty years to actually BECOME free. Funny how that works. I’d hate to have gone through all that and not learned the beautiful, hard, gritty, wonderful lessons involved. 

\n

Sixty-six. Nope, that doesn’t bother me a bit. 

\n

I’m a crone now. I love that!

\n

Happy Birthday to ME!

\n

❤️

\n
““ ‘ “The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace.” ’”    Numbers 6:24-26 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2019-06-13T01:30:17-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/06/13/happy-birthday.html", "tags": ["Faith","Travel","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Fun","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Aging","Choices","Change","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/06/06/one-hour-thirtyfive-dollars-a.html", "title": "One Hour \u0026 Thirty-Five Dollars = A Haircut", "content_html": "

\"Woman “Before and After…what a difference a haircut makes!”

\n

I haven’t really felt like my perky self for a while. Nothing I could really put my finger on. Maybe a little tired. Maybe a little down about aging. I’ve been losing weight but avoiding the mirror. It didn’t really dawn on me till I saw pictures from the baptism a couple of weeks ago and I was up on the stage with my bonus granddaughter. Gasp! I looked SO old! I looked like my grandma. Not that that is a bad thing, but I’m talking in her 80’s. I was in desperate need of a haircut!

\n

I always celebrate birthday month…not just a week or a weekend or a day. Nope…I was born in June…I celebrate JUNE! This month I turn 66. It’s only a number. I have more energy than I did at half my age. I remember when I turned 26. I was SO depressed! It had been a WHOLE DECADE since I got my driver’s license. Give me a break! Now it’s been half a century since I got my driver’s license. insert eye roll here

\n

No, it wasn’t my actual calendar age that was getting to me. It was my hair. I got lazy. I got tired of going in every six weeks and getting it cut. I got tired of sometimes having the perfect cut and other times wondering what went wrong. I got tired of spending the money on something that you just have to do over and over and over. 

\n

It’s not my fault really. I saw beautiful older women on Pinterest…long flowing locks of silver hair caressing unnaturally perky breasts. Stylishly dressed. Leaning against brick buildings in downtown New York City….their jacket carelessly draped across their shoulders…their chunky boho jewelry and oversized sunglasses deflecting my gaze from anything that could barely be called crepe-y skin. No…Pinterest assured me I would look uber chic with long, silver hair.

\n

Then, I took a look at myself and wondered what on earth possessed me to do such a thing. Me…in my JCPenney sleeveless summer dress made from t-shirt material. Me…of the ample upper arms and comfortable tummy. Me…of the “I know I have makeup SOMEWHERE in this house!” Me…of the Chacos and farmer tan and clip-on sunglasses and floppy brimmed had and a riding mower. Yeah…it was time for a reality check.

\n

I called Michelle on Tuesday and cried uncle. I said, “You win! I’m coming in to cut it off!” I’m almost sure I heard an audible sigh of relief from the other end of the phone. “How’s tomorrow at 11:00?” She didn’t want to wait too long for fear I might change my mind.

\n

An hour. Thirty-five dollars. That’s all it took to bring back my sparkle. It’s really true…if you LOOK good, you FEEL good. I walked out of there feeling like a million bucks! It’s such a simple thing…getting a haircut. Oh, and a pedi. A MUCH needed pedi. I hadn’t had a “Me Day” for such a long time. It was way overdue and I feel so much better.

\n

I sent the before and after photos to Mr. FixIt with a note…”Here’s the girl you fell in love with!” And you wanna know what he said?

\n

“You’re beautiful…but, I didn’t fall in love with your hair.”

\n

My cheeks hurt from smiling.

\n

❤️

\n
“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.”    1 Peter 4:8 NIV
\n \n", "date_published": "2019-06-06T01:30:12-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/06/06/one-hour-thirtyfive-dollars-a.html", "tags": ["Health","Family","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Aging","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!","Widow","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/06/02/resting.html", "title": "Resting", "content_html": "

\"Feet “Taking a breather after a long day.”

\n

Mr. FixIt and I have been like two ships passing in the night the last two weeks. He is still working on the porch he is building in town plus he is helping a friend move. In between, he has helped with the mowing and weed eating. He is a busy man and a very hard worker. I am very proud of him and love his work ethic. But…I’ll be really glad when the jobs that are taking him away from home are completed and we can do more things together…even if it’s more jobs that need doing around here.

\n

While my hubby has been off and running, I have been keeping busy here as well. I finished mowing at the Ponderosa yesterday. I had a run-in with some brambles and they dragged across my forehead, yanked my glasses off, and made me say some choice words. I went out when it cooled off, swept the grass off the sidewalks, and pruned some branches and old, dead rambling rose canes. Nasty buggers!

\n

I did escape yesterday morning and had coffee with my classmates. There were seven of us this time and we always miss the ones who don’t get to attend. When we were finished, I walked across the street to one of my favorite antique shops in the area. I’ve been on the prowl for old embroidered dresser scarves and the like to make something fun for the camper. I found several that were white with either blue embroidery or blue crocheted edging. Blue and white are my favorites. I also bought the coolest curved treadle sewing machine drawer that will be perfect on the dinette table to hold flowers or something.

\n

Afterwards I met Mr. FixIt for the summer picnic for the plant he worked at before he retired. He worked at Ames. My mom called it “the shovel plant” because she worked there during the war making shovels for soldiers. After the war, their specialty was all manner of garden tools. Mr. FixIt gave me one of the shovels he designed and made and there isn’t a finer one around. I actually knew two people at the picnic…a rare occurrence for me. Mr. FixIt knows EVERYBODY in town!

\n

When I was done for the day, I went in to make myself a sandwich. I glanced out the kitchen window. The luna moth is still there. And, there was a mama groundhog and three little babies out munching on the grass under the crab apple tree. I stood there for the longest time, just watching them. And thinking how blessed I am to have this slice of heaven in my life. I finally turned away, picked up my sandwich, and padded out to the camper to read for a while before Mr. FixIt came home. 

\n

What a beautiful world God has given us. Even in the midst of horrific things, there is beauty in the stillness.

\n

❤️

\n
“The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of our God endures forever.””    Isaiah 40:8 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2019-06-02T01:30:05-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/06/02/resting.html", "tags": ["Family","Positive Energy","West Virginia","Gratitude","Comfort","Peace","Humbled","Presence","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/05/28/praying-for-others.html", "title": "Praying for Others", "content_html": "

\"Praying “Praying for others is the key to freedom.”

\n

As time passes, my daughter’s wedding is looming in the forefront of my mind. What to wear? Well, I’ve bought three dresses…so far. It depends what suits me that day, I think. The event seems to be fast and loose so I’m not terribly worried about that part. 

\n

As I headed into this, the idea of being the mother of the bride…for the last time really…filled me with delicious anticipation mixed with bits of trepidation. Her father and I have mended a lot of fences over the years and I am so proud of the way we can demonstrate good behaviors for our kids and grandkids. Long gone are the angry jabs at each other over a love gone awry.

\n

I overcame the majority of the pain, anger, and resentment through fervent prayer and good therapy. Prayer was my tool. I prayed my family would be healed. I prayed the father of my child would find joy and happiness with the woman he chose. The more I prayed for HIM, the happier I became.

\n

That being said, the enemy loves to sneak in and tell me lies. He loves to remind me I’ve gained a few pounds and my ex-husband will notice. He loves to make me second guess myself and be self conscious of my body and my dress choice. He loves to whisper in my ear and tell me if I would have been a better wife, that great big estate my ex owns could have been mine.

\n

Lies. They are all lies. I could have been the best wife in the history of the universe and the marriage could have still fallen apart. I’m not taking 100% of that one. I’ll comfortably accept my 50%. If I even consider my weight as being something my ex would judge me for, I’m setting myself up for failure and disappointment. 

\n

Here’s the thing…if we look for something, we WILL find it. If I look for judgement, I’ll feel judged. If I look for criticism, I’ll feel criticized…even if it’s subconsciously. And, as soon as I feel those things, I’ll react defensively. That whole scenario is a totally no win situation. Nothing good can come from that.

\n

Recently I read about a technique for recognizing the cycle of anxiety and stopping it in its tracks. The premise is, as soon as you feel the very first sensations of anxiety…even if it’s just the thought of feeling anxious…you pull back and become the observer. Recognize what is happening and say to yourself…”Hmmmm, that’s interesting. I’m having a feeling that stemmed from a thought. It is just a thought.” Then, you picture surrounding that thought in a bubble, reach out, and poke it with your finger.

\n

Poof!

\n

When you can recognize what anxiety really is, it’s much easier to step back, give it a poke, and send it on it’s way. It has been working quite well in the last few months. One would think, at the ripe age of 66 (in about three weeks), I’d have gotten a handle on anxiety long before now. Sometimes it’s the fear of having an anxiety attack that brings it on. It’s crazy…but it’s quite real.

\n

This wedding isn’t about me. His house isn’t about me. My weight isn’t even completely about me in that it was caused by taking steroids twice this year. I’m the only me I have. I am the only mom my kids have. The only Nana for my grands. I am my husband’s queen. He will think I am scrumptious no matter what I’m wearing or where I sit. 

\n

This is such a relief…to let go of fear. The fear of rejection. The fear of not being good enough. The fear of doing or saying something wrong. 

\n

I am enough. I have always been enough.

\n

 Dang…I love my sixties!

\n

❤️

\n
“But the moment one turns to the Lord with an open heart, the veil is lifted and they see. Now, the “Lord” I’m referring to is the Holy Spirit, and wherever he is Lord, there is freedom.”\n

2 Corinthians 3:16-17 TPT

\n", "date_published": "2019-05-28T01:30:31-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/05/28/praying-for-others.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Aging","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!","Marriage","Wedding"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/05/26/smoke.html", "title": "Smoke", "content_html": "

\"Smoke\" “Life has a certain synchronicity. It swirls round and round like wisps of smoke.”

\n

Mail delivery is different when you live on a rural route. When you drive out any two lane blacktop, there are dirt roads that go off up into hollers. There may be a dozen or more houses up there, but it wouldn’t be feasible to send a mail carrier up every little dirt track. So, you often see a whole row of mailboxes on the corner and everyone has to pick up their own mail. Our mailbox is across the two lane from the Ponderosa so we either walk up or stop on our way out when we go somewhere.

\n

When I first moved in with Mr. FixIt, I seldom got any mail here. I have a post office box that I use for my business so it was just easier for me to get all my mail there. Because the majority of the mail was his, I never really saw it unless I picked it up. Mr. FixIt was throwing away junk mail one day and casually remarked, for some reason he had received coupons for cigarettes. He couldn’t figure out how in the world he ever got on their mailing list.

\n

We went into town yesterday to decorate graves on Mr. FixIt’s side of the family. We stopped to get the mail and there was another cigarette advertisement. He handed me the mail and said, “See? We got it again!” I sat there, holding the mail in my hands. For a moment, my heart skipped a beat and I could barely breathe.

\n

“Is this the brand you got before?” I asked.

\n

“Yes. It’s always the same.”

\n

I ran my fingers over the familiar green box and smiled. Kools.

\n

“You know…this is Mr. Virgo’s brand.”

\n

“Whoa. That’s weird.”

\n

“No…not weird. It’s just a message. A sort of hello from beyond.”

\n

I don’t know how things work on the other side exactly. I know there is heaven. And I know the Bible says there is a veil between the worlds and those in heaven cannot see or connect with their loved ones on earth. I also know God loves us and wants to comfort our hearts when we lose loved ones so He sends us things that strike a chord with us. In my case…bluebirds. A particular song that’s out of place. Flickering lights. And, an ad. Of all the cigarette brands that are out there, the one that came was Mr. Virgo’s. It’s not even what I would consider a top brand. Why that one? On Memorial Day weekend?

\n

I reached over and took my husband’s hand. I smiled and looked out the window at the passing scenery. I marveled at this lovely life and all its synchronicity…curling round and round like wisps of smoke.

\n

“Hello, Mr. Virgo” I said softly. “Thanks for coming to see us.”

\n

❤️

\n
“Now they know that everything that you have given me is from you.”\n

John 17:7 ESV

\n", "date_published": "2019-05-26T01:30:10-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/05/26/smoke.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Hope","Positive Energy","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Change","Widow","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/05/23/wascally-wabbits.html", "title": "Wascally Wabbits!", "content_html": "

\"Man “Mr. FixIt…working in the garden.”

\n

Mr. FixIt came to me the other morning with a dejected sigh.

\n

“Something ate the beans.”

\n

Again? Hmpffff! Don’t they know that little piece of ground is OURS??? They have five acres. I just want this little patch. Yeah…not likely. We used the rabbit deterrent faithfully…until, we didn’t. All it took was one little rain and one lapse of memory and…poof! No more beans. I think it is the rabbits. But it could be that little chipmunk. Or deer. Or…whatever. The point is…unless you put some sort of protective fencing or netting or both around your garden, you cannot expect to provide a salad bar without getting dinner guests.

\n

That’s ok. We still have the tomatoes. Plenty of tomatoes!!! We had twelve tomato plants and one mysteriously disappeared. No footprints. No trace…just gone. So, we are left with eleven tomato plants and a couple dozen onions. We’re good.

\n

I went to the farm yesterday to get the shades from the big camper. For those of you who have been around for the long haul, you will remember the first thing I did when I bought that camper was take those hideous window coverings off. If I’m going to sell the camper, I need to put them back. While I was there, I did the last load of laundry and gathered some camping items I will need in a couple of weeks when we go to Blackwater Falls with the Girl Campers. That’s one thing I like about Girl Campers…you can bring your hubby if you like. We just ask that they do something on their own while we’re there so we can have our girl time. Mr. FixIt is taking his golf clubs.

\n

I’m taking the ice cream freezer. There is something so special about homemade ice cream when you’re camping. I also brought the screen house. The mosquitoes will be making an appearance before long and some people are more susceptible to bites than others. I want to make sure everyone is comfortable and has a place to sit out of the rain if need be.

\n

When I got home, Mr. FixIt had a table saw on the back of the truck that needed to be unloaded. It was way too heavy to pick up but we used our brains over our brawn and tipped it onto a dolly and down the ramps into the garage. Perfect! Just as we were done, the former Mrs. FixIt came over to pick up a tent to go camping. I really like her and we sat for four hours visiting. Then my bonus granddaughter and the baby came over with ice cream. It was such a beautiful day!

\n

I love that we can demonstrate for the younger generations that the family relationship doesn’t have to end with divorce. We just open our hearts more and let in love and healing. 

\n

❤️

\n
“How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity!”    Psalm 133:1 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2019-05-23T01:30:35-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/05/23/wascally-wabbits.html", "tags": ["Health","Family","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Fun","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Humbled","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!","Widow","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/05/20/a-lovely-summer-evening.html", "title": "A Lovely Summer Evening", "content_html": "

\"Peony\" “Spring? It’s more like summer here in West Virginia!”

\n

Ok…it’s not officially summer for another month. But the temperature on the truck was 93 yesterday afternoon so that is close enough for me! Mr. FixIt and I camped in the yard beside the big building Saturday night and it was wonderful. The windows were open and a small fan on low kept us very comfortable. The mattress in the camper is better than any in the house and it’s the best night’s sleep I’ve had in a week. The climb-over-you bed configuration wasn’t a problem so I think we’re a go for the big Colorado trip later this summer.

\n

Church was wonderful…again. As I stood there, holding Mr. FixIt’s hand, praising with the other…I counted my blessings as I counted my bonus family down the pew. Afterwards was breakfast out and catching up with what’s going on in their busy lives. (They thought it was very funny that their grandpa and I camped in the yard. He does lots of new things since I came along!)

\n

We delivered a saw to his son and checked out the deck they are rebuilding. Then we headed home. I had a deadline to meet on this new writing project I’m involved with so I climbed in my little camper, turned on the AC, and got busy. In the meantime, someone came to look at the camper we are selling. When we were both finished, we did that very fun thing we love to do…we took a drive and stopped for ice cream!

\n

As we walked back in, the light was perfect on our peonies just outside the back door so I had to stop and snap a picture. It was the perfect summation of the day…soft and sweet, warm and blessed. As I write this, I am again in the little camper, the windows flung open, the frogs peeping in the creek beyond the far field. What a rich and lovely life we lead!

\n

❤️

\n
“The season has changed, the bondage of your barren winter has ended, and the season of hiding is over and gone. The rains have soaked the earth and left it bright with blossoming flowers. The season for singing and pruning the vines has arrived. I hear the cooing of doves in our land, filling the air with songs to awaken you and guide you forth.”    Song of Songs 2:11-12 TPT
\n", "date_published": "2019-05-20T01:30:50-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/05/20/a-lovely-summer-evening.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Uplifting Stories","Hope","Positive Energy","Fun","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Love","Peace","Humbled","Presence","Choices","Be Joyful!","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/04/30/i-choose-joy.html", "title": "I Choose Joy!", "content_html": "

\"Surf “I’m choosing joy by choosing to remember the special moments we spent at the seashore last week.”

\n

Even though Pastor Justin’s message Sunday morning was about choosing joy, I just had one of my “bad nights”. Yesterday’s post indicated I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders, and I did. Re-entry from vacation was part of it. Being overly tired was another. And, after being gone a week, there was a lot of catching up to do and we just heard one bad thing after another all day. It just hit me hard. Combine that with eating a greasy burger too late in the evening and I was up half the night.

\n

I tried all my go-to remedies and nothing seemed to help. I was up pacing the floor. I tried snuggling with Mr. FixIt and that helped, but I was too hot. Finally, I took a Benadryl because I had been out mowing all afternoon and my head was throbbing. I settled into the guest room, opened the window to let the cool night air in, and read my Bible till I got drowsy. When I finally slept, it was sound and deep and restful…just what I asked God for in my nightly prayers. He is a good Father…His lullaby is perfect.

\n

I hit the ground running yesterday and went for the MRI of my foot. I’ve had several MRI’s in my lifetime. I couldn’t believe it took a whole hour! It was an open MRI and, of course, the only thing in it was my foot. But the noises were the same. The technician turned up the music really loud and I listened to the country station for an hour. The only hard part was boredom thinking of all the things I could have been doing. Laying still on my back for an hour on a hard table wasn’t too much fun. I just used the time to have a conversation with God.

\n

I needed to have fasting blood drawn from an appointment a couple of weeks ago and I kept forgetting to go in so I did that. Then I stopped at the mall and bought yet another dress for the wedding. I can’t seem to make up my mind but this one I really liked and it was 50% off. I can wear it to my niece’s college graduation this weekend and see how I like it. I even found some cute little sandals that were also half price. I’m not buying any more dresses!

\n

My last stop was Walmart for new sheets for the camper. I’m not one for keeping a lot of old sheets around. I buy two pair and rotate them till they’re worn out. I’ll bet I could count on two hands how many sets of sheets I’ve had in my life. Funny thing…they are exactly the same pattern as the sheets I bought for the big camper five years ago. I would have used those, but they were full size and the new camper ya s a queen bed. I also picked up a couple of throw rugs and a new shower curtain. Everything else will get moved from the old camper to the new one.

\n

Before we leave, I need to treat the fresh water tank with a mild bleach solution and run it through the pipes. Then I need to put some Dawn dish soap, Calgon Water Softener, more water, and a bag of ice in the black tank and take the camper for a drive to let it all slosh around in the tank and dislodge anything gunking up the works. I will drive up to a rest area up north and empty the tanks and get them all ready for Thursday. Once I get back home, I’ll make the beds and wipe down the surfaces. I’ll wipe out the fridge and the cabinets and wash the floors. Once the bathroom is cleaned, I can put down the new rugs. I’ll pack it up and we’ll be ready to go!

\n

So…today I choose joy. Even in the busy rush of life and travel preparation. Just breathe. Just breathe.

\n

❤️

\n
“When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy.”    Psalm 94:19 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2019-04-30T01:30:27-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/04/30/i-choose-joy.html", "tags": ["Faith","Health","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/04/28/home-sweet-home.html", "title": "Home, Sweet Home", "content_html": "

\"Welcome “Home, Sweet Home…West Virginia!”

\n

I keep forgetting what a long drive that is coming back from the beach in one day. Twelve hours. And that’s not dilly-dallying around, either. Potty breaks only. It rained the last hour and I-77 is under perpetual repair so that slowed us down a bit. It was in the low 50’s when we got home which was a darned sight cooler than the beach was, but we were so grateful for God’s travel mercies. We only saw a couple of minor accidents on the way home. It was such a wonderful trip.

\n

When you get home like that, the last thing you want to do is empty the truck, but we did anyway. It’s almost all put away.

\n

We sprayed for ants before we left and there were just a few sighted. Nothing like before we left. And there was NO WATER in the basement! I prayed hard for that one. TRULY the very last thing you want to do when you get home from a long trip is to suction water out of a soggy basement. Oh, and the grass is nearly a foot deep in places! We mowed the day before we left. Oy!

\n

\"Redbud\" “Redbud are still blooming on top of the mountains in West Virginia!”

\n

So…we are home safe, suntanned, and very tired. I’ll leave you early with some photos of the day. The dogwoods are in full bloom. The redbud are past their prime except for the top of the mountains. I caught this one at the West Virginia Welcome Center on I-64. The Welcome to West Virginia sign is always a beautiful sight, even though it signals there are still at least three and a half hours of driving left!

\n

\"Dogwood\" “The dogwood trees are in full bloom and are like little fairies in the woods.”

\n

I would like to take this opportunity and congratulate my dear friend Deneene on her marriage to her sweet Mark yesterday. It was an intimate family-only affair but I got to see it on FB Live. Unfortunately, we will be unable to attend their open house in South Carolina next weekend as we will be watching my niece graduate from college in Indiana. I had the honor of walking with Deneene in her early grief and have watched her heart heal and expand to include new love. Congratulations, my sweet friends! I love you and miss you so!

\n

Happy Sunday…can’t wait to get to church!

\n

❤️

\n
“If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.”\n

Psalm 139:9-10 NIV

\n 

\n", "date_published": "2019-04-28T01:30:14-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/04/28/home-sweet-home.html", "tags": ["Faith","Travel","West Virginia","Gratitude","Love","God","Peaceful Moments","Be Joyful!","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/04/27/goodbyefor-now.html", "title": "Goodbye...For Now", "content_html": "

\"Best “Best Friends”

\n

Goodbyes are so hard…especially since losing Mr. Virgo. My world perspective has forever changed and grief has colored every thought since that fateful day. I am so aware of how tenuous life is and how strong the bonds between us and those we hold most dear.

\n

Today we have to say so long to our dearest family/friends as they head back home to Colorado and we head back home to the Ponderosa. We have had such a delightful week. The weather seriously couldn’t have been more perfect. Our first morning here dawned sunny and gorgeous and remained the same the entire week until a band of severe thunder storms came through last evening. It rained hard into the night and brought cooler temperatures but today is supposed to be sunny with a high around 70 so it will be perfect traveling weather.

\n

While grief and death are not in the forefront of my thoughts anymore, there are certain things that have changed because of my loss. Now, when I see a scene, I see it through the eyes of a widow and know the scenes I wish I had pictures of. As we watched the sunset in a quiet cove along the sound in the Cape Hatteras National Seashore the other night, I looked back. I noticed Ben & Sue turn to take in the last of the golden light as the sun dipped below the horizon over the glassy surface of the water. I smiled as Sue reached for Ben’s hand and I reached for my cell phone to snap this picture. I added the location and date and sent it to her. 

\n

We do not know when our time will come, but we do know statistically that women outlive their husbands. When Mr. Virgo died, I really had fewer photos of him than I thought. I wanted to make sure Ben & Sue had all the special events of the week recorded for posterity. 

\n

As we drove down to the beach last weekend, I kept thinking…”It’ll be over in an instant and we’ll be driving back home.” And, here we are. But…oh, my. We made some beautiful memories together this week and I will cherish this time together for the rest of my life. 

\n

❤️

\n
“How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity!”    Psalm 133:1 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2019-04-27T01:30:17-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/04/27/goodbyefor-now.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Travel","Grief","Positive Energy","Fun","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Aging","Peaceful Moments","Choices","Be Joyful!","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/04/16/evidence-of-healing.html", "title": "Evidence of Healing", "content_html": "

\"Lighthouse\" “A memory from a time long ago and far away…”

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I know April is a hectic time of year what with my daughter’s birthday and taxes being due. I was also quite busy this spring writing and editing my book. And, our annual trip to the Outer Banks is this weekend so my mind was preoccupied. As I sat down at the computer yesterday to write my post, I was confronted with one of those Facebook memories complete with scads of photos….of Mr. Virgo’s and my Honeymoon. 

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I couldn’t believe it. It was on the 7th and it never once crossed my mind. I remember one year I almost forgot. It was probably four years after his death and I felt so terribly guilty because I nearly went the whole day without thinking about it. This time, it was a whole week PAST the anniversary and I may not have remembered at all if I hadn’t seen the photos. But, I didn’t feel guilty. I actually felt somewhat relieved.

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There was a point in my grief when I thought I never would feel even somewhat normal again. I didn’t believe I would ever feel joy or freedom and certainly not romantic love again. Yet, here I am. On the other side. I’ve no doubt I still have my moments. NOT remembering seems monumental in some way.

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Not focusing on or remembering an important anniversary doesn’t mean I have forgotten Mr. Virgo…or anything about him. It just means time has passed and I am healing. I’ve moved….forward. I wish I could have had some serious reassurance four or five years ago that so much healing could occur in what is a relatively short time in grief years.

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This time fourteen years ago, we were driving up the west coast on Highway 1. I wanted to stand on the beach with my husband. Fourteen years later, I’m packing to leave for a trip to the east coast so that I can stand on the beach with my husband. 

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Ironic.

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The whole thing makes me smile. It makes my heart soften. It makes me ever so grateful to have known…and to now know…such great love.

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❤️

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“Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth— for your love is more delightful than wine.”    Song of Songs 1:2 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2019-04-16T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/04/16/evidence-of-healing.html", "tags": ["Family","Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","Wisdom","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!","Marriage","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/04/12/ommmmmmmmm.html", "title": "Ommmmmmmmm.......", "content_html": "

\"Woman “Trust me…I did NOT look this peaceful and serene this week working on my banking!”

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I looked for a photo of someone working on her computer looking so peaceful and serene. Because, that has definitely NOT been me this week! Ok, seriously…I feel like I could reach back in the archives of any of the past six years, pull out a post for the week before taxes are due, and it would be the same darned story. Over and over and over. I wait till the last minute to reconcile my bank account. Yes…in the good old days when I didn’t have grief brain, I balanced it every month…to the penny. Now? Well, lets just say this year was better. I balanced it up till the end of July. The rest I had to download. And…my bank only keeps three months worth of statements in the accessible pipeline. Anything before that and you have to do a manual download which I have discovered may or may not be totally accurate. Not the program’s fault…it’s the operator. 

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I am not sure what I did wrong but my guess is I duplicated some entries and I was off by a country mile. In the past, this would have bugged the heck out of me and I would have spent an inordinate amount of time combing through every detail till I found the problem. And, if time wasn’t a factor, maybe I would do that. But it’s not like I’m keeping the national treasury balanced. My main purpose for using Quicken is to run expense reports for taxes. It’s not rocket science. I held my breath and created an audit. I go by my bank balance anyway, so I just balanced it to that and called it good.

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This wasn’t accomplished without a fair amount of hair-pulling and choice words because in the middle of things, the internet stopped working at the house. I didn’t have enough time to go back out to the farm and used the excruciatingly slow internet there, so I packed up my laptop and headed for Panera. I got a good salad, sat down, connected to the internet and ran a scan on their wireless to detect anything fishy. It came up clean so I scooted into my account, did the magic, and was back out in less than a minute. Easy peasy.

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Next stop was Sam’s club to pick up a copy of this year’s TurboTax. I freaked out a little when I couldn’t find any and was afraid it might be sold out but they had some copies at the service desk. TurboTax has this really neat thing where you can do your taxes online and just pay for the tax program when you’re finished. The thing is, it was about $30 more to do it that way. You have to pay attention…these guys are tricky!

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So, the banking is done. Now all we have to do is plug in the numbers and see where we stand. Married filing jointly? Married filing separately? We’ll just have to see how it plays out. I’m just so blessed to have the choice.

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❤️

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“Tell us then, what is your opinion? Is it right to pay the imperial tax to Caesar or not?” But Jesus, knowing their evil intent, said, “You hypocrites, why are you trying to trap me? Show me the coin used for paying the tax.” They brought him a denarius, and he asked them, “Whose image is this? And whose inscription?” “Caesar’s,” they replied. Then he said to them, “So give back to Caesar what is Caesar’s, and to God what is God’s.””    Matthew 22:17-21 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2019-04-12T01:30:49-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/04/12/ommmmmmmmm.html", "tags": ["Family","Overcoming Obstacles","Gratitude","Love","Wisdom","Courage","Change","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/03/27/the-ponderosa.html", "title": "The Ponderosa", "content_html": "

\"Farm\" “The Ponderosa is the land I have dreamed of all my life.”

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I’ve still been recuperating from this bronchitis/cold/virus/allergy thing. Kind of laying low, taking care of myself. To keep from re-infecting Mr. FixIt (he already had this last month), I’ve been spending a lot of time out in TOW-Wanda…resting, reading, writing, napping, cogitating. It has been very good for me to spend so much time in my little house on wheels. It certainly made winter go by MUCH quicker!

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As I was writing this yesterday, I was stretched out in my “sun room”…the slide-out in my camper. It is actually the dinette, but it collapses down and makes a twin-sized bed and I actually have a mattress in there. I have piles of pillows and comfy blankets all around so it’s a nice little cocoon in which to snuggle and write and dream.

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An e-mail came in while I was writing and it took me back probably ten years or so. It was from a site called Land Watch. Many years ago, I was trying to convince Mr. Virgo that it would be a very good idea to move back home to West Virginia. He humored me and looked at the farms and land I found. He half-heartedly searched for B&B’s for sale here and in the surrounding states. But, he came from Pennsylvania…he lived a long time in Florida…all with the goal of ultimately living in Colorado. His Nirvana. I think if push came to shove, he would have moved here for me…but he wouldn’t have been happy. God had different plans anyway because he took Mr. Virgo to His home before I could take him to mine.

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As I looked at that e-mail and thought of all those times I dreamed of having a few acres in West Virginia, I looked out the windows of TOW-Wanda at the fields and far hills of the Ponderosa and smiled. I have what I have always dreamed of having. A faith-filled life. A wonderful family…biological and bonus. And land…a garden, grass, trees, flowers. TWO farms, actually. I’m doubly blessed. I had no idea ten years ago I would realize my lifelong dream but it wouldn’t look at all like I thought it would. It’s funny how life plays out. 

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I took the liberty of blurring out some identifying features in the photo above. There’s a neighbor up at the top there…I blurred out their home. And I blurred out the roads and route numbers that were on the map. But it gives you an excellent view of the Ponderosa. All that green there? That’s what we mow! This satellite image was taken at least two and a half years ago because the maple is still in the front yard. It fell in late 2016 or early 2017. You can see the curved drive where there are two campers parked. My TOW-Wanda sits where that blue dot is on the map. 

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Nature is getting ready to show off…things are getting green. The trees are starting to bud. The forsythia are blooming, as are the daffodils. They were stunted somewhat by the polar vortex, I think. They are much shorter than usual. We were walking through the yard on Monday and realized it won’t be long till we need to mow it. It will be at least a month before we get the pool ready. As I am writing this, the sun is shining. We are at our high for the day…51 degrees. We are going to our Alma Mater’s Girl’s Softball game this evening to watch one of the granddaughters play. It is a good life we live and I still have to pinch myself sometimes to believe I’m really here.

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❤️

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“He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters,”    Psalm 23:2 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2019-03-27T01:30:52-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/03/27/the-ponderosa.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Hope","Positive Energy","Fun","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Presence","Choices","Change","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/03/12/angelversary.html", "title": "Angelversary", "content_html": "

\"Handsome “Remembering Mr. Virgo”

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Last year, I removed the date of Mr. Virgo’s death from my calendar so I would no longer receive reminders on my phone. After all, I’m not likely to forget such an event as that anyway. I do have a hard time remembering the exact date of my mom’s death and my grandma’s and my dad’s. I know approximately when they occurred but I have to look it up if I need to know the exact date. Not so with Mr. Virgo’s. I’ll never forget that…or him.

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It was six years ago today that we set out to buy the travel trailer to take us into retirement. It was a beautiful sunny day with a hint of spring and we had everything to look forward to. Although I had been having premonitions all week, it was still a shock when he died so suddenly.

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This was something I didn’t believe I could recover from. I swore to my girls that I would never, ever get married again because I couldn’t go through this a second time. Yet, here we are…six years down the road and I’m married again…to an equally wonderful man. I’ve been blessed with good men in my life. 

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My friend Deneene lost her husband in March a few years after me. I began to mentor her through the widow experience when she was going through a particularly rough patch. We don’t get to see each other much anymore as she has moved to South Carolina with her new love. We connect frequently via chat and yesterday, she sent a note telling me she was thinking of me and the angelversary of Mr. Virgo’s death. She asked how I was going to commemorate this day. Last year, when I removed the alarm from my calendar, I thought five years was enough of that. I figured I wouldn’t want to do anything special anymore. But, once I thought about it, I decided I was wrong. Time doesn’t change the facts.

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It’s interesting at this point to think of my marriage to Mr. Virgo. He has now been gone the same amount of time we were married. And, just because time has passed, and just because I’m crazy in love with Mr. FixIt and I’m happily married, doesn’t mean my love for this wonderful man I shared my life with has diminished. Daughter #2 called me yesterday and we talked for quite some time about this. When we lose someone so special, our hearts expand at some point. My heart is much, much bigger than it was when Mr. Virgo died. There are spaces there with the names of every person I have truly loved. Those spaces do not become smaller in order to allow room for other to come in. The vessel itself had to grow. 

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As time has passed after each loss, those spaces that remain from the love lost aren’t empty shells. I’ve filled them with love and memories like filling a beautiful vase with thousands of blooms…only these flowers will never die. There were times, especially with the divorces, that I held onto bitterness and anger, but those things did not serve me. Filling each space in my heart with love has been my saving grace. 

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I am so blessed to be married to such a wonderful man who does not expect me to clean house and rid myself of those spaces in my heart. I would never expect him to do so. If you have truly loved someone, no matter what the end result of the relationship, filling those rooms full of flowers can set you free.

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So, I’m at the farm. I’m writing and drinking good coffee and eating chocolate hearts. And I’m counting all my blessings for a heart filled with blooms by remembering my life with a good, kind man. ❤️

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“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”    Psalm 73:26 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2019-03-12T01:30:19-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/03/12/angelversary.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Change","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/02/14/on-lovingunconditionally.html", "title": "On Loving...Unconditionally", "content_html": "

\"A “I am a Christian AND I love everyone… unconditionally.”

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The other day, a West Virginia delegate made a series of ugly and disparaging comments about the LGBTQ community. He compared them to terrorists and the Ku Klux Klan. He was interviewed later and given an opportunity to clarify his position, and it was actually SO much worse than what was originally reported. When asked what he would do if his son or daughter came home and told him they were gay, the delegate said if it was his daughter, he would take her for a pedicure. If it was his son, he would take him hunting. And if, upon their return, they still said they were gay…he would take them out and “see if they could swim”. The interviewer was aghast and asked, “Are you saying, you would take them out and try to drown them???” He just looked at her with a sinister grin and didn’t answer.

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I was sickened, on so many levels. First and foremost, that he has this kind of hatred in his heart and calls himself a Christian. Second, that he would turn away from his children, or worse…do them physical harm. And, finally…it HAD to be a West Virginian. Why did he have to come from MY state? The answer is, because there are people like him in every state.

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Here of late, I have been so uplifted and fortified by my faith, I have been shouting “Hallelujah!” from the rooftops. And that’s how I feel…excited by the ways I see God move in my life. Excited about the opportunities to share my stories of his love and provenance. Then, this week…I received this wedding invitation. And I was reminded, I may be giving people the wrong idea about who I am in my faith.

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Some people may equate my bold Christian joy with the kind of person who denigrates those who are unlike them, like that delegate from West Virginia. Nothing could be further from the truth. I do not discriminate against anyone. I’m not perfect, but I certainly try to emulate Jesus at every turn. He loves everyone. He does not see people from the outside. He looks at their hearts. After raising my daughters in the Jewish faith, I was appalled when Daughter #2 came home from school crying because the kids called her a “stupid f****** Jew”. I held her close and tried to explain ignorance and intolerance and bigotry. It broke my heart. 

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I respect all faiths, save for those who kill people in the name of their god. I respect all people, save for those who kill or maim or injure children or animals. When I raise my voice in praise for Jesus, I don’t want it to exclude my love for others who don’t believe as I do. I don’t want to walk ahead of and ignore the one who is still looking for God. I don’t want the Muslims and the Jews and the Seiks and the Hindus and even the atheists…anyone of any faith…to think I do not love them equally. I look for, and see, the God in all people. That divine spark that comes from somewhere far beyond the stars. That sign of something far greater than any of us here. 

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I also embrace the LGBTQ community as my fellow human beings, who house that same divine spark as me. It is not my place to judge anyone…not even that delegate from West Virginia. Everyone will be judged by their maker in the end. It’s not my job. At the same time, I’m going to tell you about this amazing Jesus who rules my life. And, I’m going to show you, as best I can by the way that I live, how a good and loving and forgiving Father has changed me. The two can, and in my humble opinion SHOULD walk hand in hand.

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Because, you see…that wedding invitation we got in the mail this week? That’s from Daughter #2 and her fiancée…a very kind and loving woman who has helped my baby become a better version of herself. They are getting married in Colorado in August. They love each other completely… unconditionally. How can I not do the same with both of them? This is my child. We love who we love. It is not my place to judge. You may do what you wish, but I do pray I will always, always, always land on the side of love. Because that is the way Jesus loves me.

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***If you don’t agree with me, that’s ok…I won’t judge you either. I know this is a hot topic for some, but this is my house, my rules. We speak with respect here. This is a case where we’ll take my grandma’s advise…”If we can’t say anything nice, we won’t say anything at all.” ❤️

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“As for the one who is weak in faith, welcome him, but not to quarrel over opinions. One person believes he may eat anything, while the weak person eats only vegetables. Let not the one who eats despise the one who abstains, and let not the one who abstains pass judgment on the one who eats, for God has welcomed him. Who are you to pass judgment on the servant of another? It is before his own master that he stands or falls. And he will be upheld, for the Lord is able to make him stand.”\n

Romans 14:1-4 ESV

\n", "date_published": "2019-02-14T02:30:27-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/02/14/on-lovingunconditionally.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Hope","Positive Energy","Fun","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Choices","Be Joyful!","Marriage","Wedding"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/02/11/a-marshmallow-day.html", "title": "A Marshmallow Day", "content_html": "

\"Hot “Cold, grey days are Marshmallow Days!”

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I got home safe and sound yesterday just in time to leave for church. The tree that had fallen across the road the night before was cut up and moved from the roadway. The same scenario is being repeated over the entire region with the thaw and soaking rains causing the ground to soften. All it takes is a little gust of wind and trees topple easily.

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We have thoroughly enjoyed church the last couple of weeks with Mr. FixIt’s daughter and family joining us. I can’t tell you how wonderful it feels to take up seven seats in a row. My heart is overflowing.

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Our pastor spoke on criticism yesterday. Good criticism comes from a place of love, and even though it stings, it is meant to lift us up. We all have suffered the other kind of criticism that really isn’t “criticism” at all. It’s self-serving and mean spirited and is critical. There’s nothing about love in that. Pastor Justin’s premise was…don’t let them in. Don’t listen to that.

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There is a difference between criticism and someone who is merely expressing an opinion and it might be difficult to discern that at times. The other day, someone I care about and whose opinion I value very much sent me a private message. In it, she said my writing has changed. I have become more “evangelical” than she likes on a daily basis. My very first thought was “sting”. Immediately followed by “that’s ok. I still love you.” 

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Since then, lots of things have gone through my mind. Am I coming on too strong and driving people away? Have I crossed the line into “Crazy Christian Lady who can’t talk about anything but Jesus?” I wanted to apologize. Then I decided…I really can’t. I write what comes to me. I write from my heart. And I am always brutally honest about my feelings and what I share. 

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Some people lose touch with God when they lose their special person. They can’t understand how a loving God could make someone suffer with cancer. Or they prayed for healing and it didn’t come. Or, any number of other reasons. For me…my faith has deepened tremendously since Mr. Virgo died. And especially since I started dating Mr. FixIt. I have never had a relationship that was so “equally yoked”. I’ve never had a partner who came to church with me every Sunday, who holds my hand with his right hand and praises with his left. I’ve never shared late night conversations about God. That alone is enough for me to want to shout from the rooftops. 

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This is a dark time of year. I talk about what is on my heart. I try not to make every day “Preaching Sunday” but there are only so many ways I can tell you I knitted all afternoon and still make it interesting. And I am infinitely fascinated by the way God works in my life.

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I am always open to loving criticism. I told my dear friend how much I appreciated her candor. I know my writing has changed. I’VE changed. I’ve grown in many, many ways in the last six years. And I truly hope you’ll hang around with me and keep reading. I’m still going to write what is on my heart, and if it’s Jesus or something he is teaching me, you can rest assured…I’m going to write about it. I’ll write about other stuff too, just to mix it up. But, I’m Jesus’ girl first and foremost…there’s no way I’m going to hide that. ❤️

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“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”\n‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭2:10‬ ‭NIV‬‬
\n", "date_published": "2019-02-11T02:30:19-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/02/11/a-marshmallow-day.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Growth","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Choices","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/01/27/building-up-my-stash.html", "title": "Building up my Stash", "content_html": "

\"Hand-knit “Eighteen hand-knit cotton dishclothes are perfect for impromptu gifts.”

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Yesterday was a decompression day. Taking care of and loving on lots of people this week left me needing a day that was all about me, for the most part. I’m almost finished with the cotton yarn I bought to knit dishcloths. There’s probably enough to make a couple more. I have eighteen in my stash. I like having these around for impromptu gift giving. I also get a bar of lavender soap every time my doTerra order comes around and I don’t need vitamins. I put these things all away to have ready for birthdays and hostess gifts.

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I have this whole bonus family through marrying Mr. FixIt and I am thrilled to say the grandkids are going to church with me today! Mr. FixIt and I will go at noon then when he bowls this evening, I’ll take the grandkids with me and treat them out to dinner after church. I wanted to spend some quality time alone with them. Bonding time is important in step-families…even when the kids are all grown up. I’m so excited…I can hardly wait!

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I told you I would let you know if I slept well again when I practiced handing everything over to God before bed. Well, I did and it was amazing how fast I fell asleep…and stayed asleep all night. I think I’m onto something here!

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We haven’t been to church for two weeks because of bad weather. I can hardly wait to get there today…twice! Have a blessed Sunday, dear ones. I’ll see you this evening for Sunday Night Prayer Circle. ❤️

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“Children’s children are a crown to the aged, and parents are the pride of their children.”\n

Proverbs 17:6 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2019-01-27T02:30:49-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/01/27/building-up-my-stash.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","God","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/01/25/thoughts-on-conflict-fear.html", "title": "Thoughts on Conflict \u0026 Fear", "content_html": "

\"Proverbs “Look for the gold in people. There’s enough dirt in the world.”

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The other day, we touched on conflicts and how to resolve them peacefully. We all have seen our fair share of conflict in our lives and had dealt with it in the best way we knew how with the knowledge we had at the time. Sometimes it’s worked out ok…sometimes not. The good thing is, we can always continue to learn and grow and get better at the sticking points in life.

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When you are dealing with marriage, here is the single most important thing I have learned. When you find yourself frustrated with your spouse…and you WILL at some point…mind your tongue when you are talking about him with others. If all you do is spout negative things, it won’t be long till that is all you will ever see in him/her. It doesn’t take long to go from speaking these things to outsiders to berating your spouse with all the things they do that tick you off. I can guarantee you…if you feed that beast, it’s all you’ll get back.

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I learned with Mr. Virgo…once I started to notice something he did that bugged me, that was a sign I wasn’t praying for him enough. Same for Mr. FixIt. We all need grace. It’s a wonderful habit to practice with your spouse or other family members.

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I had Bible study last night. We talked a little bit after last week’s study about the book “Goliath Must Fall” by Louie Giglio. Last night’s “giant” was FEAR. The first question we were asked was…”How well do you sleep?” Wow. Sometimes really well. Those are the times when things are going well and I really don’t have much to worry about. Other times, I lie awake all night long, staring at the ceiling, working something over and over, turning it this way and that, puzzling over how to…what? Fix it. Manipulate it. Control it. I rehearse conversations ahead of time with not only my dialogue, but that of the other’s as well. As if I have some sort of control over how another person thinks, acts, or responds. 

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Sometimes I lie there and worry about an event that isn’t going to happen for eight months. “Will I have the extra weight off before the wedding? What will I wear? What happens if it’s really hot. I don’t do well in heat.” All I have accomplished in that scenario is set myself up for failure and robbed myself of sleep and God’s joy.

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Last night’s lesson was this…when you lay down to sleep and the things to worry about start lining up…just hand them over to God and go to sleep. He loves you no matter what. He’s bigger than all of the giants. Trust him to work on your problems while you’re asleep. Then you awaken refreshed and can live in God’s Glory.

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There is a fine line between anger and fear. Giving your conflicts to God, praying for others, letting go of your fears…all elements that can help lead to a peaceful night’s sleep. ❤️

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“Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”\n

Ephesians 4:31-32 ESV

\n", "date_published": "2019-01-25T02:30:09-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/01/25/thoughts-on-conflict-fear.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Anger","Fear","Forgiveness","Warning","Choices","Change","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/01/23/that-flash-of-red.html", "title": "That Flash of Red", "content_html": "

\"Male “Mr. & Mrs. Cardinal in the forsythia bush.”

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Cardinals don’t migrate, so we have an abundance of them here in West Virginia. It is our state bird, along with that of six other states. I grew up calling them “redbirds”. They were my grandma’s favorites and she took such delight when she saw a flash of crimson darting in and out of the shrubs out on the farm. 

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This picture shows a pair of cardinals. The male of course is flashy and bright with a black mask across his face. The female is a dusty, rusty reddish grey. They both have a peaked crown of feathers on top of their heads. They had a distinct chirp you cannot miss. This pair is nesting in the forsythia bush out by the corner of the house. Mr. FixIt pruned them way back just before the wedding when he cleaned up the property. 

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I just love these birds. We have talked about them here a lot. We have discussed whether they signal a visit from a loved one who has passed. I like to think, since Grandma loved them so much, it is her flying by to say hello, but the truth of the matter is, you see them here year-round.

\n

It finally warmed up a bit yesterday but we still worked inside. The dry, winter air in the house has caused the glue to dry out in the joints of some of our bigger pieces of furniture so Mr. FixIt took a support rail off and used wood glue before screwing the piece securely back together. I knitted and made a big pot of Beef Stroganoff for dinner. It was a pretty laid-back day and we really enjoyed it. ❤️

\n
“While the earth remains, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night, shall not cease.\"”\n

Genesis 8:22 ESV

\n", "date_published": "2019-01-23T02:30:53-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/01/23/that-flash-of-red.html", "tags": ["Family","Fun","West Virginia","Gratitude","Comfort","Love","Peace","Presence","Be Joyful!","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/01/19/german-comfort-food.html", "title": "German Comfort Food", "content_html": "

\"Kielbasa “Kielbasa, kraut, and mashed potatoes…German comfort food.”

\n

When we were having coffee yesterday morning, Mr. FixIt asked if I wanted to go to the movies in the afternoon. My mind went over the list of things that needed to be done and I politely demurred. He turned on the weather report and they’re predicting a ton of rain turning to snow over the weekend so he wisely decided to go to town and rent a snake to clear the drain out back.

\n

We have a stairway that goes down into the basement. There is a four inch pipe in the bottom of that stairwell and it drains into a pipe that travels over a hundred yards out to the creek. About every two years, that drain needs to be snaked out so the water doesn’t back up and run into the basement. Also, there is a ditch out at the creek bank that always gets filled in when the spring runoff overflows. It’s an ugly, backbreaking job that no one likes, but it has to be done. With heavy rain in the forecast, it was best to get it over with.

\n

We headed to town and ran some errands before we picked up the snake at the rental place. I overheard the young man who was helping Mr. FixIt lift this monstrosity into the back of his truck.

\n

“Who’s going to help you unload this thing?”

\n

“That little lady sitting in the front seat up there.” Mr. FixIt sounded confident and proud.

\n

We stopped at the store on the way home and I don’t believe, even at Thanksgiving, I have ever seen so many people. The parking lot was filled. People were circling round and round. There were no carts. And the checkout lines were twenty deep. Mr. FixIt and I looked at each other like, “What the heck?”

\n

“They’re predicting snow!” I said. “Let the games begin.”

\n

I told him to just drive around and I’d be back out in a jiffy. As I headed into the store, the line from Hunger Games went through my mind.

\n

“May the odds be ever in your favor!” 

\n

I scooted to the back and bought the two items I needed. Non-alcohol beer and a chuck roast. I’m easy. I waited two minutes and hit the self-checkout and was out the door in a flash. There were people in there with multiple jugs of milk and loaves of bread…as if they were anticipating being stuck in their homes for weeks. When we stopped at the discount grocer earlier, I planned ahead by buying an extra bag of flour in case I got a hankerin’ to bake something. It’s crazy what a snow forecast does in West Virginia. It’s a good thing it’s the weekend. I’ve seen them cancel school based on a forecast.

\n

I used to kind of think these people were weenies when they cancelled school at the first sign of snow. After all, I lived in Colorado for forty years. If you don’t get out and go someplace when it snows, you’re going to be stuck in your house from October to May. But I’ve got to say, in these people’s defense, driving here in winter is NOTHING like Colorado. There, you can drive 55 in a whiteout blizzard, not that you SHOULD. Here, you don’t dare touch your brakes going 25 or you’ll be in a ditch in a heartbeat. The roads are twisty-turny and hilly. And they have this thing called black ice. It looks the same as wet pavement and it’s deadly. I get it now…people don’t want to go out in it. And school busses have no business hauling our babes through it if it can be prevented.

\n

When we got home, I had to help Mr. FixIt unload that drain snake. I am telling you what…that sucker was HEAVY. Fortunately it’s on wheels so when we got it out of the truck all we had to do was wheel it to the back stairwell. Then we had to walk it down the stairs. Oy! Once it was down there, I went on inside and Mr. FixIt got to work. After some time, I didn’t hear the machine anymore so I went to see how he was doing. I found him out at the creek bank digging out the ditch. Living on five acres without city sewer isn’t always easy. That was a lot of hard work. I helped him get the contraption back up the steps and into the bed of the truck. 

\n

“You’re a hard worker,” he said. 

\n

“Thanks for telling me that, but you’re the one who did the tough stuff. I’ll fix you some supper while you clean up.” I smiled as I patted his bum when I walked by.

\n

German comfort food seemed to be the perfect meal for the hard workers last night. I boiled kielbasa to leach out some of the salt then tossed it in a skillet with some melted butter. I drained the sauerkraut and added it to the skillet, stirring occasionally so it would brown but not burn. I made mashed potatoes and served the kielbasa/kraut mixture on top. Oh, it was heavenly! It was a good day’s work and that is so satisfying. ❤️

\n
“Let the favor of the Lord our God be upon us, and establish the work of our hands upon us; yes, establish the work of our hands!”\n

Psalms 90:17 ESV

\n", "date_published": "2019-01-19T02:30:11-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/01/19/german-comfort-food.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","West Virginia","Gratitude","Wisdom","Courage","Humbled","Presence","Choices","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/01/18/finding-the-right-tools.html", "title": "Finding the Right Tools", "content_html": "

\"Screws\" “Having the right tool leads to success.”

\n

Good communication skills have not always been my strongest suit. For years, I was afraid to speak up for fear of judgement and rocking the boat. That changed with Mr. Virgo and I’ve honed the skill with Mr. FixIt. Yesterday I told you he was being a little stingy with his power tools. So, that night, instead of stewing over it, I just pointed out that I like power tools, too. He smiled and said he just wasn’t used to women who know how to do things like that. I understand that. Not all women can, or even want to, operate power tools.

\n

Yesterday, we needed to build another brace at the other end of the bathroom floor. That is where you attach two short pieces of 2x4 to a long piece in an “H” fashion and fasten it between the floor joists to support the new floor above. This end of the floor is located directly over the washer and dryer. It’s an awkward position to stand on a ladder and it was impossible for Mr. FixIt to get up in there, so I climbed up on the washer and dryer and fastened the new boards in with three inch wood screws. 

\n

I don’t know if you have ever held a drill at an awkward angle, over your head, and tried to hold enough pressure to keep the bit from slipping in the head of the screw, but I assure you it’s not easy. The first two screws stripped immediately. So I did what I always do…I talked to Jesus. I asked him to help me get this job done and the screws went in easily as I kept saying “Thank you, thank you, thank you.” When it got really difficult, Mr. FixIt just reached up and held the end of the drill and it worked like butter.

\n

When you face the tough things in life, you need the right tools for the job. We had the right wood screws. We had the right drill and bit and a fully charged battery. We had proper lighting and ladders. We had mutual support and trust. And we had Jesus standing in between us. We can call on Him to help us with the most mundane of tasks. My shoulders relaxed and I put all my focus and force on the task at hand and was successful. The right tools for the job…it’s what creates success. ❤️

\n
“Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”\n

Hebrews 4:16 ESV

\n", "date_published": "2019-01-18T02:30:23-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/01/18/finding-the-right-tools.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Fun","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Wisdom","Courage","Presence","Choices","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/12/31/saying-goodbye-to.html", "title": "Saying Goodbye to 2018", "content_html": "

\"Mother-daughter “A mother-daughter duo singing worship songs to close out the year.” Photo Credit: The Warehouse Church

\n

We had a special celebration at church yesterday. Instead of having the kids over in their area, they joined the adults. And, instead of hearing a message from Pastor Justin, we ended the year with an hour of praise music and communion. It was a special treat to see the children of our worship team on stage singing with their parents. This little gal was amazing and it warmed my heart to watch her.

\n

As the old year fades, we cannot help but look over the last twelve months and review what we have accomplished. It is easy to be critical of what we perceive as mistakes. The woulda-shoulda-coulda’s can creep in, and that really doesn’t serve us well. Looking back with a hopeful heart takes practice.

\n

I was telling someone yesterday that I was glad to have 2018 over with. But when I really gave that some thought, I realized that’s just wishing your life away. There were some very sad things that happened this year, true. I lost three people I loved very much…all within two months. Their deaths saddened me greatly and I have learned enough about life to know…the greater the love, the deeper the grief. I was blessed to have these three in my life to love and love me back.

\n

Then, there were all these health problems I had to deal with. They were a major pain, but when I look back I realize I was so blessed to have insurance. I know there are people who can’t afford to see a doctor and let medical issues go till it’s too late. I was blessed with knowledgeable physicians and excellent hospital care. I cannot complain.

\n

The highlight of my year, of course, was getting married to my best friend. Mr. FixIt is my rock…my life partner…my playmate. My life is so much happier with him in it and I gained a bonus family!

\n

So, I won’t wish away time. I will remember Aunt Viv, and my cousin Tom, and my “other-mother” Louisa with much love…keeping their memories alive by saying their names. And I will cherish the gifts God gives me daily…love, insurance, health, good doctors, a roof over my head, food on my table, a loving family, and a man who thinks the sun rises at my feet. As I head into the new year, I will tuck this one away with solemn gratitude.

\n

❤️

\n
“Praise the LORD, my soul, and do not forget how kind he is.”\n

Psalms 103:2 GNB

\n 

\n", "date_published": "2018-12-31T02:30:50-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/12/31/saying-goodbye-to.html", "tags": ["Faith","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","Peace","Courage","Humbled","Presence","Choices","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/12/26/my-hygge-christmas.html", "title": "My Hygge Christmas", "content_html": "

\"Comfort “Mr. FixIt is a good gift giver…exactly what I would have picked out for myself!”

\n

“Hygge is a Danish and Norwegian word for a mood of coziness and comfortable conviviality with feelings of wellness and contentment.” Wikipedia

\n

I don’t think I have ever had a more relaxing Christmas Day in my life as I had this year. Mr. FixIt gave me Christmas jammies on Christmas Eve and I never changed out of them yesterday. I ate chocolate cake for breakfast. I knitted all day. I caught up with loved ones on the phone and via chat. Mr. FixIt and I watch movies all day. I ate leftover chili…and chocolate. 

\n

I was totally pleased with my gifts from my sweetheart. The sweater is the most gorgeous color, style, and fit. The book is something I really wanted. And the travel mugs are lovely. I think he’s setting me up for a winter of comfort! Exactly what I need after a long season of hard work keeping up two big properties. I have some projects to do this winter…writing, home, and business things. So, having this comfort break is just what the doctor ordered!

\n

There are so many who are missing their loved ones this season. If your heart is screaming “he/she should be here!”…you are not forgotten nor are you alone. My heart is with you…I remember that pain and I pray for comfort for you and yours. ❤️

\n
“I love the Lord, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy. Because he turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live. The cords of death entangled me, the anguish of the grave came over me; I was overcome by distress and sorrow. Then I called on the name of the Lord: “ Lord, save me!” The Lord is gracious and righteous; our God is full of compassion. The Lord protects the unwary; when I was brought low, he saved me. Return to your rest, my soul, for the Lord has been good to you. For you, Lord, have delivered me from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling, that I may walk before the Lord in the land of the living.”\n

Psalm 116:1-9 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2018-12-26T02:30:40-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/12/26/my-hygge-christmas.html", "tags": ["Grief","Hope","Fun","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Love","Peace","Presence","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/12/24/christmas-a-season-of-healing.html", "title": "Christmas: A Season of Healing", "content_html": "

\"Santa “My Santa and Mrs. Claus”

\n

Dear Santa,

\n

This is the sixth Christmas without my Mr. Virgo. I know you remember the day I sat beside you in your great big comfy chair. It was that first awful Christmas after he died. I was crying and you saw me standing there alone. And that great big heart of yours was so soft…you moved over to make room for me and patted the seat, letting me know I should come sit for a while. 

\n

I was crying…trying so hard to regain my composure. You waited patiently for me to gather my wits about me. Finally, I leaned towards you. You leaned in to hear. “My husband died. I need a new heart.” I could almost hear your heart breaking for me. You put your arm around my shoulders and whispered back. “I’m so sorry.” Your voice was thick with emotion. You patted my back as my shoulders shook with sobs. 

\n

It wasn’t long till I got it together. I apologized for being such a mess. You said, “Nonsense. You’re perfect!” As I prepared to leave, you asked, “Won’t you have your picture taken with me?” My heart skipped a beat and for just a moment…a fleeting moment, I felt the joy of childhood as I nodded yes.

\n

We took a photo, you and I…and we were bonded in that moment. I’ve written to you every year since that December day in 2013. I’ve related my progress as I’ve navigated this grief journey…my ups and downs. My successes and the stumbles. And here it is…2018…and have I got news for you!

\n

I got married!!! Yes…it’s true! I came back to West Virginia two years ago. Along the way, I ran into my best guy pal from high school and, well…the rest is history! We were married in a field at his home. We were married by our lifelong friend…a pastor. And, Santa…he such a good man, my Mr. FixIt. We are two peas in a pod. He goes to church with me every Sunday. It is the first time I have been equally yoked in a marriage and it is amazing!

\n

I just wanted to let you know I’m doing well. I still have moments where I experience grief. I always will…it is the price you pay for great love. I continue my mission of writing here and reaching others who are on the same journey. Thank you for being there for me that sad, sad day. Thank you for being my cheerleader. And thank you again…from the very bottom of my heart…for being real and asking Jesus to bring me a new heart. ❤️

\n
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”\n

Psalm 147:3 NIV

\n 

\n", "date_published": "2018-12-24T02:30:33-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/12/24/christmas-a-season-of-healing.html", "tags": ["Faith","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","Peace","Holiday","Courage","Be Joyful!","Marriage","Uncategorized"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/12/05/the-secret-to-a-good.html", "title": "The Secret to a Good Relationship", "content_html": "

\"\" “As you grow closer to God, you can’t help but grow closer to each other.”

\n

A young man I barely know came up to me at church the other day. He knew Mr. FixIt and I had just been married. He was quite interested in knowing the secret to a good relationship. He wanted to know how you KNOW you have the right person. 

\n

One might not think I know the answers to those questions, given I just entered my fourth marriage. That sounds awful, doesn’t it? Like maybe I don’t know what I’m doing. And, I suppose if you ask my two ex-husbands, they might agree with you. I would counter with a statement: I learned with the loss of each relationship. I learned to examine my own behaviors and contributions, or rather…lack of contribution…in each relationship. I learned about what I DIDN’T want in a relationship. 

\n

It doesn’t really benefit you to approach a new relationship with a look backward at what you didn’t like before. It does benefit you to look forward with an attitude of “How can I be the best spouse I can be without losing myself here?” I smiled at the young man and said…”I have the answer for you!”

\n

He looked at me in surprise and payed very close attention.

\n

I held up my hands, fingers and thumbs pressed together forming a triangle.

\n

“Do you see this? This is your relationship. You are here. Your spouse is here.” I pointed to the base of either thumb.

\n

I held up my left hand and said, “See? If you have God in your life, you work towards a good relationship with Him. You not only raise yourself up, but you move forward. The same goes with your spouse.” I held up my right hand to demonstrate.

\n

“When you are married, and you put God first in your relationship, you each raise yourselves higher, but what happens to you individually?”

\n

The young man broke into a huge grin. “You get closer to each other!”

\n

“Yes! That’s exactly right! Do you see how simple that is? There’s no real secret here. Just keep God as the primary focus of your marriage, be the very best partner you can be, try to outlove each other, and He will take care of the rest. It’s nothing more than faith and physics!”

\n

I gave the young man a pat on the back and headed on in to find Mr. FixIt and take my seat beside him as we put God first…this day and all days. ❤️

\n
“He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.”\n

Proverbs 18:22 NIV

\n 

\n", "date_published": "2018-12-05T02:30:43-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/12/05/the-secret-to-a-good.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Uplifting Stories","Prayer","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/06/19/happy-fathers-day.html", "title": "Happy Father's Day", "content_html": "\n
\"\"
\n\n\n

I'd like to take a moment and thank all the good dads out there. I have many dads in my life. While my own dad and I didn't have a great relationship, I can appreciate that he did the best he knew how to do. I thank him for helping bring me into the world.

\n\n\n

Hubby #1 gave me my first beautiful baby girl. He's a good dad to three great kids. Hubby #2 gave me my second beautiful baby girl. He's a good dad to four great kids. Mr. Virgo was a good step-father to my kids. My fathers-in-law were great dads to me. John D. is my \"other\" dad. My son-in-law learned from his own great dad how to do it right.

\n\n\n

Strawberry Days was lower key for me this time. It was way too hot and I think I have a mild case of altitude sickness so that has put a little damper on things. I was supposed to go visit friends today for a couple of days but they live even higher than here and I still don't feel my best. So I'm just going to stay put.

\n\n\n

❤️

\n\n\n
\n

“Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.”

\nProverbs 22:6 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2016-06-19T13:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/06/19/happy-fathers-day.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Memories","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/06/18/the-primrose-path.html", "title": "The Primrose Path", "content_html": "\n
\"\"
\n\n\n

\"The primrose path refers to.....a course of action that seems easy and appropriate but can actually end in calamity.\" Wikipedia

\n\n\n

I was married to a \"fixer\" for twenty years. God bless him. He's a good man. A hard worker. Intelligent. Accomplished. Funny as heck. But there was something in his caregiver nature that both drove him to be a physician and made him want to help me be whatever it was he thought I needed help with. Low self esteem? He was my cheerleader. Overweight? He was my encourager. Sick? He was my healer. He tried his best to rescue me from myself. And, as you can well imagine, that didn't work out very well for either one of us. For him, there was frustration when no amount of aid he offered seemed to work. And for me, there was frustration that he couldn't just accept me the way I was.

\n\n\n

When Mr. Virgo came into my life, it was so refreshing. He just loved me...period. If I wanted to improve, he was behind me 100% but he didn't care one bit what I weighed or how I dressed or how much I exercised. He was as happy as a little clam to just be near me. That left me free to take care of my own needs, make my own choices. It felt like I'd been let out of prison. I have had people close to me...people I care about deeply....affect my life in positive ways. And I've been quick to tell them so and thank them for their positive influence. But let me tell you...if I so much as get a whiff that someone wants to be in a relationship with me in order to \"fix\" me...I'll be out that door so fast it will make your head spin. No thank you. I've been nearly fixed to death. That is not a healthy basis for any relationship.

\n\n\n

I've been down that primrose path. It's not a place I care to go again.

\n\n\n

❤️

\n\n\n
\n

“So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.”

\nMatthew 7:12 NIV\n
\n\n\n

Photo credit: Unsplash

\n\n", "date_published": "2016-06-18T01:30:02-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/06/18/the-primrose-path.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Marriage","Healing"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/05/31/the-elephant.html", "title": "The Elephant", "content_html": "\n
\"\"
\n\n\n

A long time ago, my second husband and I lived with an elephant. It was called \"The Things Which Shall Never Be Discussed\". And...we never discussed it. We put a doily on it and called it a table. Eventually, as little elephants are wont to do, it grew and grew till it filled up the room and there was no choice...one of us was going to have to be brave. So, I asked the difficult questions. Which in turn gave me the difficult answers. But, I'd rather have the difficult answers than live with an elephant.

\n\n\n

Grief is an elephant in my house. I haven't exactly been putting a doily on it, but I also haven't been addressing it directly for quite a while. And this weekend, the elephant in the room turned right around and bit me. Memorial Day forces me to look for Mr. Virgo. Other things do, too...so maybe it was just coincidental that the elephant woke up this weekend. Who knows? The point is, grief can lie dormant for awhile only to raise its ugly head at the most inopportune moment.

\n\n\n

I was driving out the road toward the river. I had experienced a little disappointment earlier. The sun was setting and the light turned that soft golden-green of late Spring, the pink tinged clouds reflecting off the river. And then...Annie's Song came on the radio. Mr. Virgo hired a guitarist regularly to play for happy hour at the Ritz. Some time after Mr. Virgo's death, the Ritz planted a tree in his memory and held a lovely dedication ceremony to which they invited me. The guitarist was there and told how that was the song my husband always requested. The beauty of the day and the melancholic tune broke my heart open...yet again. Then fresh tears came last night when my dear friend Jeanne sent me a picture of the flowers she placed on Mr. Virgo's grave for me for Memorial Day.

\n\n\n

Sometimes a good cry is all that's needed to clear your vision. It releases hormones that comfort you. I try not to suppress a good cry. And, I'll try not to avoid the elephant so much in the future. Elephants are easier to deal with when they're little.

\n\n\n

❤️

\n\n\n
\n

“Record my misery; list my tears on your scroll — are they not in your record?”

\nPsalm 56:8 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2016-05-31T01:30:55-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/05/31/the-elephant.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Forgiveness","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/04/20/love-languages.html", "title": "Love Languages", "content_html": "\n
\"\"
\n\n\n

I had a profound insight yesterday. I mean....deeply profound, as in \"How could I possibly have been with that man for 21 years and not \"get\" this?\" I had my hand on someone's shoulder and I could feel the discomfort this caused. I didn't think it was in an \"I don't like YOU\" sort of way, but I could tell something was amiss. So, I asked. \"Does my touching you make you uncomfortable?\" The answer was, \"I'm just not a real touchy person. It isn't personal.\" Knowing this person as I do, I believe that.

\n\n\n

I went about my day, met a friend for lunch, and ran errands. Sometime in the afternoon, I flashed back to my second marriage. My ex-husband was not a touchy-feely person. It is not his \"love language\". David Chapman wrote a book in 1995, The Five Love Languages. We express our love and affection by gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service (devotion), and physical touch. According to Chapman, \"your chosen love language is the way you would most like to receive love from your companion.\" Physical touch and words of affirmation are my choices. Looking back, I would say my ex's was acts of service. You're not supposed to give what you want to receive. You're supposed to give what your partner CAN receive. Wow.

\n\n\n

I spent the first ten years of that marriage trying to make him into a touchy feely guy. I spent the second ten years trying to pretend it didn't matter to me. It never, ever occurred to me to ASK him if touching bothered him. It just ticked me off that he wouldn't snuggle. After all, I was doing my level best to TEACH him. Oh, my gosh! He must have felt so smothered and overwhelmed with me fawning all over him all the time. Communication. Why does it have to be so tricky when you're young?

\n\n\n

I have always been a very physical person. I'm expansive and wave my hands around to emphasize points in a story. I love on people freely. I can't help it....love just overflows and I sometimes don't know what to do with it all because I love everybody. I didn't realize things might have been different with my ex if we both would have learned a new language instead of being so angry that we didn't speak the same one. Honestly, it probably wouldn't have made a difference in the outcome of that relationship but this was quite an eye opener. Why do we have to get to our 60's before we really start to \"get\" it?

\n\n\n

❤️

\n\n\n
\n

“Take control of what I say, O LORD, and guard my lips.”

\nPsalms 141:3 NLT\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2016-04-20T01:30:42-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/04/20/love-languages.html", "tags": ["Family","Overcoming Obstacles","Growth","Love","Forgiveness","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/01/23/time-to-say-goodbye.html", "title": "\"Time\" to Say Goodbye", "content_html": "\n
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No, not it IS time to say goodbye. There WAS time to say goodbye. Sometimes people write and say they didn't get a chance to say goodbye to their loved one before they died. Sometimes they write and say even though it was difficult to watch their loved one go through an extended illness, they are grateful for the time they had for saying all the things they wanted to say. I get that...and both sides of that coin suck.

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I've given this lots of thought in the nearly three years since Mr. Virgo died. Even though I was in no way ready for what happened...I mean, how COULD you be?...and even though he was ripped away from me in a matter of three or four hours, I never felt like I didn't get a chance to say goodbye. That's because we told each other every single day, multiple times a day, just exactly how important we were to each other. We said \"I love you!\"...a LOT! We hugged and kissed and held hands. We couldn't be in the same room without touching each other. We sat on the couch and snuggled while we watched TV. We held hands while we drove. He opened doors for me. He placed his hand in the small of my back as he led me to a table in a restaurant before pulling out my chair. He helped me on and off with my coat. He wouldn't think of doing something until he checked with me first to see if I might want to go along. I know, I know...I am one of the most blessed women on the planet. I totally get that not everyone gets that kind of treatment. I know there are a lot of people out there who never get to experience that kind of love in their whole lifetime. But, I'd like to think we can all improve our connection with our partner. I'd love to think we can deepen our level of intimacy and achieve better communication with our loved ones. I'm also not so naïve as to think it's easy or even possible for everyone.

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Love is a two way street. I went through a horribly painful divorce that I can't help but feel might have been avoided had we gone for counseling a long time before it fell apart. And if it couldn't have saved the relationship, it could have at least eased us through the dissolution of it. I think it would be extremely helpful if everyone met with some sort of marital counsellor, be it clergy or secular, every five years of a relationship. Just to touch base. Kind of like the 30,000 mile tuneup you give your car. A time to reconnect, re-evaluate, renew...recommit.

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We don't like to ask the difficult questions in a relationship because we fear what the answer will be. But if we don't, we can end up living life in an unfulfilling relationship. As painful as a divorce is to go through, I would much rather have known how unhappy Hubby #2 was five years before it actually fell apart. That was five years we couldn't get back. Five unproductive, frustrating, angry, sad years that we could have spent healing and moving on instead of putting a doily on the elephant in the room and calling it a table.

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These are the lessons we learn in life. The \"hindsight is 20/20\" moments. These are the things I wish someone would have talked to me about in the early years of my marriage. I didn't really have a mentor to show me how to be a good partner in a relationship. How to be a good wife. How to be a good mother. I, like so many, muddled through the best I could till I finally figured it out. Maybe that's the way it's supposed to be. Every single thing I went through in my life made me exactly who I am today. And God has had my life planned out long before I was even a blip in the universe. And, while many of the things I've gone through were decidedly unpleasant, there are just as many that I wouldn't have traded for anything in the world. It's been a beautiful balance...a lovely journey....a delightful dance that has written the story of my life. One for which I am hugely grateful.

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❤️

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“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,”

\nJames 1:19 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2016-01-23T02:30:34-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/01/23/time-to-say-goodbye.html", "tags": ["Family","Grief","Courage","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/12/31/kintsukuroi.html", "title": "Kintsukuroi", "content_html": "\n
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For centuries, the Japanese have employed kintsukuroi when repairing broken pottery. It literally means \"to repair with gold\". It is the art of repairing pottery with gold or silver lacquer and understanding that the piece is more beautiful for having been broken.

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Life breaks us. The \"breaking\" is not necessarily of your making. Unkindness, loss, abuse, grief, infidelity, betrayal, death....all things that life throws at us. Things we have no control over. They break us. And then God starts working on us...stitching, mending, piecing our hearts and souls back together into something much, much stronger than was there before. He lets us keep the scars so others can see we are conquerors. So we can see where His hand has touched us.

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There is nothing beautiful about loss. There is nothing beautiful about the unbearable pain we are forced to endure when we lose someone we love. Nothing. But when I go deep inside and look at my scars, I can see they are intricately woven with strands of pure gold. I can see they are stronger than the surrounding tissue because God wove each thread into exactly the place it needed to be to make me stronger. To me, the fact that God Himself mended my wounds is what brings the beauty.

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And...that's a wrap for 2015. A year of surprises, growth, healing, love, adventure, words, pain, and...beauty. Unexpected beauty. Beauty in all the broken places. Thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being here with me for another trip around the sun. I love you all!

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Here's to a Happy, Healthy 2016!!!

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❤️

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“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”

\nPsalm 147:3 NIV\n
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Photo Credit: www.lakesidepottery.com

\n\n", "date_published": "2015-12-31T02:30:53-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/12/31/kintsukuroi.html", "tags": ["Grief","Love","Wisdom","Marriage","Healing"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/11/10/into-the-sunset.html", "title": "Into the Sunset", "content_html": "\n
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I remember watching the old westerns on Saturday afternoon when the cowboy always got the girl. They'd ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after. I wanted my cowboy. I've loved some great men. I've been blessed with an epic romance the likes of which could rival any you'd see on the big screen.

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I love this picture of Former President Carter and his wife. I watched my grandparents hold hands like this. I was supposed to have this. And, who knows, I may still. Or, maybe this isn't what God has planned for me. I don't know. But I do know this. If you cannot let go of the life you had planned, there will be no room for the good things to come.

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It's probably the time change and facing winter that has me struggling with this. I find myself wanting to huddle with married couples I meet on the street and say, \"Listen up! You have no idea what it's like when your partner dies. Treat each other with respect and love. Look at your partner with awe. You HAVE someone! Honor that!\" Instead, I smile when I see them like the Carters here. And I pray they get all the love in they can before it's done.

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❤️

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“In the same way, you who are younger, submit yourselves to your elders. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.””

\n1 Peter 5:5 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2015-11-10T02:30:04-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/11/10/into-the-sunset.html", "tags": ["Love","Aging","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/04/18/to-date-or-not-to.html", "title": "To Date or Not to Date?", "content_html": "\n
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Who can possibly fill these shoes? This is a topic I've tap danced around some. I've dallied a little in the dating department. I've met a couple of wonderful men…men that I love dearly and consider to be close friends. I can call them day or night for company or conversation. So why don't I find myself feeling the kind of love for someone that would sustain a long term, exclusive, \"can't live without you\" relationship? I felt that love in the instant Mr. Virgo and I made eye contact. My old instincts would ask \"What's wrong with you? These are perfectly good men, kind hearted, gentle, loving, fun, funny. What are you waiting for?\" Well, it's interesting. It's like going out to photograph wildlife with poor vision. You can see the animal in your view finder, you can tell it's an animal and quite possibly that rare breed you're looking for, so you creep in closer. You step gently, stealing in quietly for a closer look. Hmmm…looks familiar, sounds familiar, acts a little like the one you're looking for. But then you get close enough to see and it's not the right one at all. The call is totally different. The coat similar but just not the same. Where did your animal go? Will you ever find another one or should you just be happy you saw one once and got a great picture of it?

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This is what dating has been like. Sort of like an interview for a job I'm not at all sure I really want. And at the same time I yearn for companionship. I miss hugs and holding hands and all that comes with having a significant other. I'm in Neverland. Never so sad as I was when I first lost him…never so happy as I was when I had him.

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I'm finding an entirely different set of circumstances to consider this go 'round. I've already had three marriages and a couple of significant relationships in my life. Do I really want another one? Finances are a huge consideration now. Much bigger than when I was in my twenties. There are no guarantees in marriage. If I were to marry, I'd lose my ability to collect widow's benefits. One must be married for ten years to collect from your spouse's Social Security. If the marriage falls apart before that, and you were a stay-at-home mom who didn't contribute a lot to your SS account like I was, you're screwed, to put it bluntly. It's a dilemma many of us Boomer widows are facing. It leaves you with choices many would find unconscionable…like cohabitation. Or resignation to being alone for the rest of your life. Right now, I see merits in both scenarios. I have friends who have been widowed much longer than me and they tell me they went through the same thing but they got over it and can't imagine being in a significant relationship again.

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I don't know. Maybe I'm just an incurable romantic. I love falling in love. I love a man's company…the security of his love and affection. Maybe there's a part of me that still feels I \"need\" a man in my life to be happy. Maybe I'm a little lonely. Maybe I'm a bit bored. Maybe I'm a tad frightened. Maybe it's only been two years since I lost Mr. Virgo and I just miss him. I'll always miss him. But I'm a pragmatist. He's not coming back. And even though those men out there don't look exactly like him when I get up close, they are worthy in their own right. I'm not ready to give up on love and companionship entirely. I just want it on my terms. So, I'll keep my options open, and keep my camera handy. You never know when the right specimen may show up in your sights. I just won't base my happiness on it. <3

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\"In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, Lord, make me dwell in safety.\" Psalm 4:8

\n\n", "date_published": "2015-04-18T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/04/18/to-date-or-not-to.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Love","Fear","Courage","Aging","Choices","Widow","Memories","Marriage"] } ] }