Press on Marshmallow Ranch

Day 355: Tackling the Lists

Sat, 06 Mar 2021 02:30:00 -0600

I had one job. Well, that’s not really true. I had a zillion and one, but my only “outside of the house” job yesterday was to stop the mail and return a package. Easy enough. Both at the Post Office. I finished and went to Dollar General to pick up a couple of things. (I forgot the toothpaste.) I came home and cleaned the fridge, washed the dishes, and took out the trash. I sat down to send a couple of emails when Mr. FixIt came in. And, as soon as I saw him, I expressed an expletive of utter frustration. He looked back at me with that, “What did I do now?” look that husbands often give their frazzled wives.

“I forgot to stop the mail!”

Oh, I do hope this surgery helps my poor foggy brain. I know, I can stop the mail online, but the last time I did that, we came home and went to pick up our mail and they said we hadn’t received any...which I find incredibly hard to believe. But, what could I do? I went back online and signed in to our USPS account and stopped the mail for the duration with explicit instructions that we would be picking it up at the Post Office upon our return. Who knows? I hope they do it right.

My stepson came out yesterday to see us and brought his old lab, Bailey, out to see us. Pumpkin, our fairly wild farm cat apparently things she is a panther. Poor Bailey. She has kitties at home and Pumpkin has never seen a dog up close and personal, especially one that moseyed right over to give her a friendly sniff. That cat went right after the dog with absolutely NO fear. We were able to keep her away then I got her spray bottle and spritzed her every time she lunged. I finally corralled her in the building so that I could sit down and relax, as well. We went for a walkabout down to the creek. It has gone back to its normal state. Sometimes the storms wash up some old arrowheads or flint pieces, but we didn’t find any this time.

I finally sat down at 8:30 last night to write. I got a link from my friend, Joe Webb who interviewed me and it went live yesterday. His podcast is Accidental Tomatoes. It talks about matters of faith and is an offshoot of New Wineskins, a combo Bible Study, Pub Church, and social gathering that I attended for several years. I’ve spoken to this group a couple of times.I really love the diversity of topics as well as attendees. They seem to be a mixed bag of folk who are leery of or burned out on mainstream churches. Joe is an ordained Methodist pastor and leads the group via Zoom now and it’s grown considerably since then.

If you’ve been following me for a long time, you probably have heard much of this story, but if you are so inclined, you can find the podcast HERE.

“We make our own plans, but the Lord decides where we will go.”
Proverbs 16:9 CEV

Election Day and The BBC

Wed, 07 Nov 2018 02:30:46 -0600

“The colors at the farm were amazing!”

Election Day

Unless you’ve been living under a rock somewhere, you all know yesterday was Election Day. Which makes today the best day of the year...no more political ads for the next 12-18 months. There is something to be said for NOT watching television!

I left after breakfast to head to the polling place. When I got there, the digital system to sign attesting your eligibility to vote was not functioning properly. It would not take my signature. We fiddled with it for over fifteen minutes till the gentleman finally held the connecting wire in exactly the right position. Once it accepted my signature, I turned and faced a sea of faces. Apparently, I was not the first to have difficulty signing in. There must have been 30 people sitting around waiting for their turn at the computer screen to vote.

“I love this little red farmhouse and how it looks in the fall colors.”

“Good ol’ Days”

The woman in front of me remarked on the “good ol’ days” when she worked the polling place, she pushed for modernization. Now? Not so much. Colorado has a 100% mail-in ballot system. They said the costs of elections have gone down tremendously, the number of voters participating has got up, and the threat of election manipulation is zilch. They should do that everywhere and forget the electronic system which can be hacked by a ten-year-old in less than fifteen minutes. All was not lost, however. My neighbor came in a little bit after me and we had a wonderful time catching up.

Getting out to vote today had another distinct advantage. I got to meander about the countryside and enjoy the beautiful colors again. I loved watching the leaves rain down, filtering through the sunlight creating a dazzling display of red, gold, and yellow sparkles. Looking in the readies mirror, I could see the leaves kicked up by the truck and they spun around and around behind me.

“There is Joy…still under her tarp. I have to get her moved to the Ponderosa and try to get something done with her before it gets too cold.”

Texts Can Offer BIG Surprises

After voting, I headed to the little town of Harrisville, home of Berdine’s Five & Dime where I purchased a few ounces of chocolate covered peanuts...my guilty pleasure. When I returned to the truck, I noticed a message had come in. Someone from BBC 5 Live radio was trying to reach me for an interview regarding coping after the loss of a spouse. It took well over an hour to connect because they were in England and I was in the boonies of Appalachia. I was asked some base questions and told the producers would contact me at 5:30pm. That gave me time to drive home to await their call.

“This looks like a painting, but it’s a photo I took on my way home from the farm last evening as the sun was setting.”

Sure enough, the call came through. The producer connected me to the live line so I could hear the show as it progressed. The interviewer played a segment of an interview earlier in the day, then went live to the three of us being interviewed. Two men and myself. I truly enjoyed listening to their responses because I was amazed at how similar our experiences were. Our segment lasted about half an hour. I listened back and I think it went very well. You can listen to it here. Our segment begins a few seconds after 22:27. ❤️

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m0000zxg

“Those who sow with tears will reap with songs of joy. Those who go out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with them.” Psalm 126:5-6 NIV

UPCOMING APPEARANCE

Thu, 12 Jan 2017 11:00:27 -0600

Tune in Wednesday as I am a guest on Dave Hawkins radio show! Looking forward to an interesting conversation about the physical ramifications of grief.

motherearthworks.com/index.php…

The Conversation

Sat, 27 Aug 2016 01:30:38 -0600

This conference is being run in a format unlike any I've ever attended. It is entirely conversational. Small groups gather at round tables to hear a speaker present their talk. The ensuing discourse comprises the other half of the session. It offers an open sharing of ideas and allows true connections to be made among the participants.

I attended yesterday's sessions regarding alternative modes of housing for seniors that allow them to age in place. We discussed co-housing, house-sharing, and how to select a proper home-mate. The benefits of co-housing far outreach the obvious decrease in living expenses. Health and safety, security, and reduction of the carbon footprint are all valuable benefits. I've been considering for some time that I won't be able to live the gypsy lifestyle forever so this has at least introduced the conversation in my mind. Short of having another relationship, co-housing answers a great many problems with living alone. And, even if there were another relationship, I've learned all too well not to assume it will last forever. Co-housing is a valuable option for seniors wishing to live independent, happy, and healthy lives for as long as possible.

Oh, all three sessions I attended yesterday were live streamed on CSPAN and my son-in-law's mom recorded it for the grandchildren. I was strategically seated in full camera view. Nana rocks!

So, today's the day I speak to these very cool people! I'm so jazzed!!!

❤️

“They will still bear fruit in old age, they will stay fresh and green,”‭‭
Psalm‬ ‭92:14‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Toot, Toot!

Tue, 29 Mar 2016 01:30:21 -0600

I always feel like I'm tooting my own horn when I post places I can be seen in the media, but....dang! The New York Times and now Fox News? Pretty cool! My life. If you would have told me three years ago this is what my life would look like, I couldn't in a million years have imagined it to be true. I never dreamed I would have even LIVED three more years, let alone have a successful blog and all these amazing opportunities. God has been so good to me. My family and friends have been so good to me. YOU all have been so good to me. Thank you, thank you thank you!

❤️

News Release: Ginny McKinney of Marshmallow Ranch makes Fox News! @foxnews FB/marshmallowranch @girlcamper528 @sistersonthefly @rvfamilytravelatlas @gorving @gotowv @downtown_pkb @visitpkb @wvsocialmedia #life #living #rv #good #camping #camper #travel #traveltrailer #fulltimerv #camplife #girlcamp #glamping #widow #widower #ginnymckinney #marshmallowranch

In the Times

Fri, 04 Mar 2016 02:30:00 -0600

(For those who may have missed the New York Times article, I am printing it here. Some people have said they cannot access it without buying a subscription to the paper.)

YOUR MONEY
Financial Guidance for Widows Struggling Through Grief’s Fog
By KERRY HANNON FEB. 19, 2016

“My husband and I had decided life was too short,” recalled Ginny McKinney, “so we went shopping to buy a travel trailer to take us into an early retirement.” That was three years ago.

“While standing in the fourth trailer that we were considering, he had a heart attack and died,” she said. Dan McKinney was 62.

Ms. McKinney was 59 and retired from her work as a medical assistant, although she was taking on occasional work to make a little extra money. Her husband was getting ready to retire from his post as a restaurant manager at the Ritz Carlton Club at the Aspen Highlands Ski Resort in Colorado.

Like Ms. McKinney, one-third of the women who become widows are under age 65, according to data from the Women’s Institute for a Secure Retirement, known as Wiser, a nonprofit organization dedicated to women’s financial education and advocacy. The Census Bureau reported in 2011 that the median age of widowhood was 59.4 for a first marriage and 60.3 for a second marriage.

No one is ever prepared for such an event. But for many women, the road to financial hardship begins after their husbands die. Nearly a third of single women over age 75 are living in poverty, according to Wiser’s research.

Ms. McKinney is not one of them. The couple had some savings, and she was the recipient of his $150,000 life insurance policy. Nonetheless, the sudden loss turned her world upside down. “He carried my heart on a velvet pillow, and I was crushed,” she said.

One of her first moves after the funeral was to connect with a certified financial planner, Danielle Howard of Wealth by Design in Basalt, Colo., who made it clear from the start that Ms. McKinney needed to share responsibility for her finances and not leave everything to her adviser.

“Some women are heads of households and managing it all,” Ms. Howard said, “but probably 75 percent of women I’ve worked with just go, ‘I am not good at math.’ It is not a matter of being good with math, I tell them. You can use a calculator. You just need to be comfortable talking about it.”

Ms. Howard urged her client to increase her financial literacy. “That education is vital to getting your feet back on the ground,” she said.

Like most widows, Ms. McKinney is living on a lot less than before her spouse died. “The big-picture look at widows is that there’s almost always a loss of income,” said Cindy Hounsell, the founder and president of Wiser. Women also generally live longer than men, making it even more important that they plan their finances carefully.

For reasons she still doesn’t fully understand, two weeks after her husband’s sudden death, Ms. McKinney headed back to the travel trailer dealership to pursue the dream she had with her spouse. She bought a 15-foot Sportsmen Classic.

“I took off for three months, driving a circle around Colorado,” she said. “I went to places in the wilderness and on the top of mountains, where I could stand outside and scream at the sky, and scream at God for taking my man. And scream at him for leaving me.

She also joined the Sisters on the Fly, a women’s empowerment adventure group. “The group made me feel I wasn’t a victim,” she said. “I wasn’t the only one who had gone through this.”

Since her husband’s death, Ms. McKinney has put tens of thousands of miles on her truck and trailer. “I’ve done a lot of driving, but I haven’t done anything exorbitant,” she said. “I didn’t go around the world.”

Indeed, widows need to make their initial financial moves cautiously. “There’s a sense of urgency to do something right after you lose a spouse, but I caution widows to recognize the psychological trauma and don’t do anything hastily,” said Eleanor Blayney, author of “Women’s Worth: Finding Your Financial Confidence” and consumer advocate of the Certified Financial Planner Board of Standards. “Widows, in particular, have to be very careful about being taken advantage of by people who may or may not have their best interests at heart.”

One stumbling block for many widows is knowing where the money is. That often requires some sleuthing to locate savings accounts, brokerage accounts and retirement plans — and identifying the proper online passwords. “The first step to piecing things together,” Ms. Blayney said, “is digging out your joint tax returns for the past five years.”

“An ounce of prevention is everything,” Ms. Blayney added. “Anticipating widowhood is tough, but the more financial information a woman can gather in advance of the loss of a spouse, the smoother it will be.”

That’s easier said than done — even when the death is not sudden. Five years ago, Joyce McCue, now 63, and her husband of 30 years, Richard, moved to McLean, Va., from Memphis for his job as vice president for Hilton International. Six months later, he learned he had throat cancer. He died a year after their move at the age of 55.

Her spouse had a $2.5 million life insurance policy. But when it came to what to do with it and other family investments, she was at a loss. “I was always totally bored when we went to our financial planner,” Mrs. McCue said. “I controlled the day-to-day finances. I paid the bills. I balanced the checkbooks. But he did the big-picture stuff.”

She did have one thing in her favor: She knew how to control her spending. “Richard and I always teased each other,” she said, “because my motto was always ‘Do we need that?’ and his motto was ‘Let’s get two.’ ”

She hired a financial adviser, Eileen O’ Connor, co-founder of Hemington Wealth Management in McLean. “It was quite intimidating,” Mrs. McCue said. “I felt like I was asking questions a kid in high school would.”

And, like Ms. McKinney, she joined a women’s support group. “Widows are able to share and help each other with the challenges they’re facing and resources,” Ms. O’Connor said. “While I’d like to think I’m helpful to my widowed clients, I think they find as much support, or more, from peers that are going through the same ordeal.”

Most financial planners suggest that widows refrain from investing or spending any lump sum insurance or pension payout for at least six months and ideally a year. Some widows, however, overspend early after the death of a spouse.

That’s one mistake Ms. McKinney made. “If I had it to go over again, I would not take that life insurance in one lump sum,” she said. “I would have had it divvied out. You’re not thinking that first year.”

Among other things, she gave some large gifts to her adult children. “Somehow it felt like it might soften things, ease the pain — however irrational it is,” she said.

An even more important decision is where to live. “That’s an emotional one because the family home is often the locus of the marriage,” Ms. Blayney said. “It’s not just a financial decision; it is a very emotional decision.”

Ms. McKinney waited a year to sell the couple’s 1,700-square-foot home in New Castle, Colo., which sold for $260,000. “After I came back from my trip, I never moved back in,” she said. “I realized I was living in my camper on the front curb and using my house as a really expensive laundromat. I didn’t love the house anymore.”

After paying off the mortgage and upgrading to a 250-square-foot travel trailer, she had $63,000 left. “For now, I draw from that for living expenses,” she said, “so I don’t touch my retirement savings.”

Like Mrs. McCue, Ms. McKinney found new life through sharing with others, writing a blog on Facebook for widows and forming fresh bonds with the women she met through Sisters on the Fly.

“They’re a hoot,” she said. “I needed to have something joyful to look forward to and there they were.”

NYTimes

Sat, 20 Feb 2016 02:30:12 -0600

I was walking down Grand Avenue in Glenwood Springs, CO the first week of January when the familiar "ding" came from my cell phone. I had a new message. "Can you call me right away? Danielle". Hmmmmm, when you get an urgent message from your financial advisor, you drop what you're doing and call! She told me a reporter that had sought her out for comments a couple of times wanted to know if she had a client who would be willing to be interviewed for an article on widowhood and retirement. Danielle immediately thought of me and my journey and wanted to know if I was interested. I was thrilled that she thought of me but when I found out it was for the NYTimes, I must say I was at a loss for words. Yes. Me. At a loss for words. Hard to imagine, isn't it?

After receiving the contact information, I sent an e-mail introduction to Kerry Hannon. Kerry has written 10 books on women and finance and finding your dream job, including "Finding the Job You Want After 50 For Dummies" and "Love Your Job: The New Rules for Career Happiness". We arranged to have a phone conversation the following Wednesday. I was a little bit nervous. And a whole lot excited!

Wednesday found me at a table in my go-to coffee shop...The Bluebird Cafe in Glenwood. I moved to that little town in 1986 so I saw many familiar faces as I waited for my call. Wouldn't it be lovely if my ex-husband were to come in and say hello, only to be interrupted by the phone ringing. "Oh, my gosh! Sorry, I have to take this...it's the NYTimes calling for my interview. SO good to see you! Kiss, kiss!" (Sorry, I couldn't resist that. Actually, he was thrilled for me when I shared the link with him yesterday. He's a good guy!)

Kerry quickly put me at ease and we had a wonderful, hour-long animated conversation. We not only talked about my loss and the subsequent financial issues. We also talked about writing books and publishing. She was very gracious and offered some connections, one of which I have made. I feel like I've made another friend and I hope our paths cross again.

So, here it is...the long awaited article. Kerry is a lovely writer and the photographer caught me in a pensive moment as I was listening to some of the Sisters on the Fly chat right outside the trailer door at the Denver Fly Fishing Show. The online version here went live yesterday and the print version is available on newsstands today. The article is in the finance section. There's good advice here. I hope it helps and I'm so terribly honored to have been featured.

>>>CLICK LINK TO ARTICLE<<<

❤️

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”
Philippians 2:3-4 NIV

In the News

Tue, 19 Jan 2016 02:30:00 -0600

This is kinda cool. I picked up my mail today and the Hometown Journey Magazine was in it. That's the Christian magazine out of Houston that picked up my post a few weeks ago. So fun to see it in color glossy print! God is so good to me!

❤️

What a Feeling

Wed, 06 Jan 2016 02:30:09 -0600

Last night was special. I was invited to speak to a grief support group at my home church in Colorado. And the gals on either side of me in this photo are fellow Ranchers! I am so blessed to have had this time to share my journey and to sit with these beautiful people. I am humbled by your reception.

Today is a very special day for me. This is my "re-birth day". Sixteen years ago today I was at the lowest point of my life. Lower even than losing Mr. Virgo because I lacked the skills at the time to pull myself through it. My 21 year marriage was over. I was severely depressed. I could barely get out of bed and brush my teeth. I was grossly over medicated and being doctored to death. I was lost.

I was alone that evening, suffering yet another migraine. I took my medicine. It didn't go away so I took more. I got goofy and couldn't remember if I took my medicine so I took more. At some point I realized I had a mouth full of pills but by that time I couldn't move. I took two full bottles and could quite easily have died if my husband hadn't come home to find me unresponsive.

I spent the night in ICU and a couple of nights in acute care then was sent to a facility in Denver where I stayed for two weeks. When I got out, my marriage was officially done, and I started the long climb back up from literally the bottom of the barrel.

A lot has happened in those sixteen years. I found my voice and stood up. I got divorced and survived. I built a house. I started a business. I lost my mom. I dated a cowboy. I remodeled a house. I became a Christian. I met Mr. Virgo and got married. I lost my dad. We moved three times. The kids grew up and moved away. Mr. Virgo died. I bought a trailer, and wrote and wrote and wrote. And, guess what's happening today? Today, sixteen years after very nearly dying of an overdose, I'm being interviewed by the New York Times. Seriously? I'm so excited I can hardly stand it.

There is no question...there IS a God. And He is so, so good!

❤️

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
Isaiah 41:10 NIV

Wowza!

Fri, 27 Feb 2015 02:30:00 -0600

SO much to write about today! First off, I was thrilled that my article has been picked up and published on The Tiny House Blog! Last week it was featured on Comet Camper. Thank you, Mariah and Kent! You can find the article HERE. I've gotta tell ya, I was dancing in my boots over here! I've receive amazing response from more beautiful people. I'm living a charmed life! ❤

The second thing is…Ms. Fixit strikes again! I finally got some help with a problem I've had the last several days. The fan on my converter box in TOW-Wanda has been running continuously for four days. The fan runs to cool the converter when power is being drawn through. I contacted several of the RV pages here on FB and no one had an answer. I contacted the help line for my trailer and they didn't have a clue. I was looking through my paperwork and found the booklet for the converter box and called their tech support. After laying on the floor and taking fuses out, putting them back, taking just a few out, trying this and that, we finally tracked the problem to the electronic jack. The guy thinks with the cold weather, moisture got down in it and it's causing a short so there was a load going to the box making the fan run to cool it. He suggested I take the 30 amp fuse out of the pigtail that comes off the battery and hook everything back up. Yay! Fan's off, no load to the box so nothing will overheat, and when I hook up, I just need to pop the fuse back in and it will work. That noisy fan was driving me botso!

I tried to get some TV channels through my onboard antenna so I can watch The Voice. No such luck. A friend let me borrow her external antenna and it doesn't work either. Ahhh, well….there are worse things than missing Blake Shelton and Adam Levine and Pharrel. I don't know what they are, but I'm sure there must be! ;-)

This picture is the view out my bedroom window every morning. I can hear the tugboats going up and down the river and I just love it. The other night I was fixing a cup of tea and heard something that sounded like someone pouring a bag of ice into a cooler…except it was continuous. I opened the door and could tell it was coming from the river. Pretty soon, here came a tugboat up the river and the sound was the ice breaking and scraping down the sides of the empty barges it was pushing. I'm telling you, this is an experience I am never going to forget! Thank you, my friends, for letting me camp here.

❤

"A person finds joy in giving an apt reply— and how good is a timely word! The path of life leads upward for the prudent to keep them from going down to the realm of the dead. The Lord tears down the house of the proud, but he sets the widow’s boundary stones in place."
Proverbs 15:23-25