{ "version": "https://jsonfeed.org/version/1", "title": "Strong Women on Marshmallow Ranch", "icon": "https://avatars.micro.blog/avatars/2026/36/1962506.jpg", "home_page_url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/", "feed_url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/feed.json", "items": [ { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2025/06/27/when-your-first-friend-dies.html", "title": "When Your First Friend Dies", "content_html": "\n
\"\"
Lisa married me and Mr. FixIt. Forgive me for cropping him out of the picture. His name and his image are mine. I only share stories about him here.
\n\n\n

We were in second grade together. I’d rarely seen a black child before. We met in the line to wash our hands before lunch. I had terrible anxiety, and our teacher didn’t much care for me. She sent my anxiety through the roof to the point I could not eat. And if I didn’t eat, she held back my tray to show my mom when she came to pick me up after school. Mrs. Alexander crossed her arms over her chest and scowled whenever she looked at me.

\n\n\n

As I stood in line to wash my hands that day, I prayed quietly. I asked God to please settle my stomach so I could eat and not get into trouble anymore. I felt a tap on my shoulder, and this little round chocolate-brown face met me with concern. Her name was Lisa.

\n\n\n

“Are you praying?” she asked.

\n\n\n

“Yes. Mrs. Alexander scares me, and I can’t eat. Then I get in trouble every day after school.”

\n\n\n

“Well,” she said with a firm confidence I knew little about. “I’ll pray with you!”

\n\n\n

So, she wrapped her little arm around my shoulders, and we prayed together that God would make me feel better so I could eat. After that, I knew God was always with me and I didn’t need to be afraid because my new friend Lisa would pray with me as many times as necessary till I got through second grade.

\n\n\n

As it turned out, my parents bought a house in another school district, so I didn’t see Lisa again till high school. By that time, we had our circle of friends, and we didn’t really connect till many years later at high school reunions. Eventually, I moved back to my home state of West Virginia and started getting together with Lisa. She had become a pastor and worked with several churches in the area and with Urban Ministries in town. Lisa joined our Divas do Coffee group, and we all enjoyed her stories and warm presence.

\n\n\n

Lisa was funny, yet she didn’t mince words. If you needed correcting, she didn’t care who you were or what the social norms were. You got corrected. She was also the humblest human I’d ever met. She never tooted her own horn. She always made sure those who were considered the fringe of society knew they were loved.

\n\n\n

Lisa died the other day. She was diagnosed with advanced cancer in September 2024. Lisa chose to go on Hospice to maintain quality of life instead of quantity. Her beautiful family put a hospital bed in her daughter’s den where she could watch the comings and goings of her grandchildren and love on them all she could. Occasionally, her daughter would record a video at Lisa’s request. On it, she reassured us all that she was doing fine. She told us she knew where she was going, and it would be glorious to walk with Jesus.

\n\n\n

Lisa never really had much. She worked hard and raised an amazing family, living in the same town where she grew up. She lived in an older neighborhood because that was home. Lisa didn’t put up with any shenanigans from folks who may not have had her best interests at heart. She wasn’t afraid because she knew Jesus resided in her house, so there was nothing to worry about.

\n\n\n

Our friend was in a terrible accident years ago. She stepped out into the street in front of her church. The sun’s glare in her eyes blocked her view of the car that could not stop. She was gravely injured, and the family was called in to say goodbye. Lisa was a strong woman with a lot of fight in her, and she recovered… unfortunately, with memory loss, back and spinal pain that stayed with her the rest of her life. She worked and did amazing things in this town. There was a settlement after the accident, but she did something special with it that she didn’t reveal to anyone.

\n\n\n

I spoke with her daughter at the funeral home yesterday. It turns out that Lisa, in her humble way, created an endowment that would help support the Urban Ministries in perpetuity. No one in her family had any idea she had done this. It was a lesson for all of us in humility, love for your fellow man, and living like Jesus. None of us was surprised by the generosity coming from our stout little friend. It just makes us love her even more and makes her family very proud.

\n\n\n

Miss Lisa, you were a peach, and we’ll miss you! We’ll see you in Heaven!!!

\n\n\n

💜

\n\n\n
\n\n

Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, 1 Peter 5:6 ESV

\n\n
\n\n\n
***Gratitude Journal***   Today, I am grateful for the friendship I had with Lisa and that she’s singing and praising Jesus in His presence…right…this…minute. I’m grateful for her gentle lessons in humility and the way she jumped out of her chair and danced around the room when I told her Mr. FixIt and I were getting married. “Perfect! A perfect match!!! This is exactly what I wanted for you two.”
\n\n", "date_published": "2025-06-27T04:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2025/06/27/when-your-first-friend-dies.html", "tags": ["Faith","Grief","Strong Women","God","Kindness","Memories","Friends","Anxiety","Heaven"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2025/05/10/just-stretching-to-see-what.html", "title": "Just Stretching to See What Hurts", "content_html": "\n
\"\"
\n\n\n

Can you find the Buckeye Tree?

\n\n\n

Oooooh, you know how great it feels to finally get outside in the spring to do yard work? And, there’s always that one day when you wake up and have to gingerly move your body to see what damage has been wrought? Yeah…yesterday was my day. My hands hurt. My hip hurt where I sat on the cement for too long fiddling with the Husqvarna. The tendons on the front of my neck even hurt from holding my head off the ground while laying under the tractor. Still, it was a satisfying ache. 

\n\n\n
\n
\"\"
\n\n\n
\"\"
\n
\n\n\n

We didn’t get much done on the tractor yesterday. We had to go to town for another doctor’s appointment. Are you like us? We go through a period where the appointments are reasonably spread apart, then all of a sudden…we’re there all the time! When a round trip to town is at the very least sixty miles, you have to add all your stops for shopping, banking, haircuts, whatever to that because you don’t want to make the trip very often. So, by the time you get back home it’s time for supper and the news and the day is pretty much shot.

\n\n\n
\"\"
\n\n\n

The first daisy!

\n\n\n

I did get the new deck belt put on and switched out three of the five little wheels on the mower deck. We have a 30’x40’ building full to the rafters with anything you might need for such jobs as these. But, do you think we could find a couple of washers for those wheels? Nooooo! Finally, Mr. FixIt pulled a small tray out a tool box and sure enough, there were the washers we needed. That building is like Lowe’s after a tornado…you know you’ve got just about everything for just about every job. The thing is…can you find it?

\n\n\n
\n
\"\"
\n\n\n
\"\"
\n
\n\n\n

Multiflora Rose…it is a scourge in the Appalachia’s. Early settlers planted them as “living fences” and they took over everything. They are impossible to get rid of and their brambles are sharp and intertwined.

\n\n\n

Mr. FixIt still has to change the oil on the tractor. Or maybe I’ll learn how to do that, too! We should get everything put back together by afternoon when we go out to eat to celebrate the youngest WV granddaughter’s graduation from WVU. And tomorrow? Back to mowing. Our next big project is buying a new storm door and installing it. I know I can’t do THAT job by myself. Those doors are heavy and if I dropped it and shattered the glass, I’d feel awful!

\n\n\n
\n
\"\"
\n\n\n
\"\"
\n\n\n
\"\"
\n\n\n
\"\"
\n\n\n
\"\"
\n\n\n
\"\"
\n
\n\n\n

Top Row: Buttercup, Milkweed, Common Starwort Bottom Row: Our 1st “Early Girl” Tomato, Fleabane, Milkweed (always excited when I see these because I pray for monarchs, but just to the right is a single stem of Garlic Mustard…a highly invasive weed. I need to get after them before they seed!)

\n\n\n

It’s always something, isn’t it? I’d rather be busy than not. Idle hands are the devil’s workshop! I did have a chance to do a walkabout last evening during the golden hour and snapped some pics for you. Enjoy!

\n\n\n

🌷☀️🌷

\n\n\n
\n\n

“She carefully watches everything in her household and suffers nothing from laziness.”   ‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭31‬:‭27‬ ‭NLT‬‬

\n\n
\n\n\n
***Gratitude Journal***  
Today, I am grateful for good healthcare providers who watch out for our health. May it always be so, Lord.
\n\n", "date_published": "2025-05-10T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2025/05/10/just-stretching-to-see-what.html", "tags": ["Strong Women","Farm Life","Home"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2024/03/08/the-matriarch.html", "title": "The Matriarch", "content_html": "\n
\"\"
\n\n\n

My grandmother was fifty-six years old when I was born. My grandma was only forty-eight. Yet…they seemed ancient to me when I was a little girl. Their hair was gray and their skin was soft with wrinkles. Blue veins traced rivers on the backs of their hands and brown “liver spots” dotted their arms. They were magical beings with vast knowledge of such things as the perfect chicken and dumplings and soothing slices of jelly bread. They kissed away booboos and loved me unconditionally…my grandma most of all. 

\n\n\n

I was standing in front of the mirror at The Farm yesterday morning, brushing my own grey hair and pinning it up in a bun just as Grandma had always done. I never knew her to have short hair. As far as I know, she had never cut it or gone to a beauty shop. And she never had bangs. I’ve been letting my bangs grow out. I trimmed them myself through the pandemic so I just kept doing it. Then I waited a little too long and was afraid I’d botch it up. Not wanting to go to the hairdresser, I decided to let them grow out to see if I like them. I don’t NOT like them. I wore my hair swept back when I was growing up. My bangs are getting long enough to sweep them back when I pin my hair up, as long as the bun is high on my head. The jury is still out. I think I notice my face more and maybe that’s not a bad thing. I don’t feel the need to hide anymore and this is a little liberating.

\n\n\n
\"\"
\n\n\n

That’s me in the center of the photo with my uncle and cousins going for a ride in the old Model A truck.

\n\n\n

My Noom lesson yesterday was on self confidence and giving yourself compliments. We are quick to compliment others, yet we are so hard on ourselves. My exercise for the day was to stand in front of the mirror and give myself a believable compliment…out loud. I stepped closer to the mirror and looked at myself critically. I’ve always had a distinct widow’s peak and that’s why I’ve worn bangs. I was self conscious of the receding hairline on either side of my face. I finished brushing my hair back and said to the girl with the grandmother face who was smiling at me.

\n\n\n

“You have a kind face. Your eyes crinkle with your laughter and twinkle with happiness. Every line on your beautiful face reminds you of the multitude of smiles you’ve given over the seventy years your presence has been known here. You are exactly as you were meant to be and exactly where you belong!”

\n\n\n

I gave myself a big hug and you know what? I felt better! Why are women so hard on themselves…and on each other? We should be celebrated for the glorious and powerful creatures we are! We should be lifting each other up at every turn and encouraging each other with positivity, love, and grace. I used to be so threatened by other women. And now? No way! I am past all that. I am of the mind that if another doesn’t like me or accept me as I am, they are not deserving of my time and energy and I release myself from the burden of bearing the weight of something that is no longer mine to carry.

\n\n\n
\"\"
\n\n\n

I took this picture because, honestly…I don’t see that angle of myself. I wanted to see what the roadmap of wrinkles on my cheeks were up to. When I looked, I smiled. I’m not sad to have my grandmother’s face or my grandma’s long hair swept back in a bun. I’m honored to be counted among the crones. 

\n\n\n

I am the matriarch now.

\n\n\n

🩵

\n\n\n
\n\n

”Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.“

\nProverbs 31:30-31 NIV\n
\n\n\n

#Matriarch, #Aging, #PositiveAging, #InternationalWomensDay

\n\n", "date_published": "2024-03-08T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2024/03/08/the-matriarch.html", "tags": ["Self Care","Uplifting Stories","Strong Women","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Peace","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Courage","Aging","Presence","Change","Memories","Mental Health"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2023/10/01/womens-work-isnt-what-it.html", "title": "Women’s Work Isn’t What it Used to Be", "content_html": "\n
\"\"
\n\n\n

This is what the dinette looked like before. The seats were terribly uncomfortable, the table was mounted way too high, and the front edge of the bench seat dug into your hip everytime to you tried to sit.

\n\n\n

Now, before I go any further, Mr. FixIt had to help me at the end with some heavy lifting. But I did a huge job on my own and I’m pretty darned proud of myself! You know yesterday morning I showed you the RV loveseat we purchased to replace the dinette in our new camper. Well, Mr. FixIt left before noon to go get his hair cut and do a little shopping so I got to work on the camper.

\n\n\n

The first thing I had to do was empty the storage under the two bench seats of the dinette. We’ve spent enough time in this camper now to know what we use and what just takes up space and weight. With the added weight of the loveseat, I need to trim the stuff we tow along with us and never touch.

\n\n\n
\"\"
\n\n\n

My initial thought was, I would empty, sort, cull, collate and store what needed to stay under the bed. The rest would go in the house and then I could start on the demolition. But, no…

\n\n\n

I am a Gemini. When I am faced with a fun project, I have to jump in with both feet! I threw everything on the bed, went out to the building to get Mr. FixIt’s tool bag and set to removing the dinette.

\n\n\n
\"\"
\n\n\n

It was really quite easy. The benches are screwed down to the floor and the walls of the slideout. I took the first bench out and started on the second. It was a little more complicated because the electrical wiring for the slideout motor was threaded down through a hole in the bottom cross brace. I unhooked the battery and unplugged the camper. Then I tested the lights to make sure the power was indeed off. 

\n\n\n

I snipped the wires and lifted that bench seat out, then I spliced the wiring back together. Before I went any further, I connected the battery and plugged the camper back in and tested the lights and slideout. Magic! I found my hand-held vacuum and swept the bottom of the slideout to clean it up. Then it was ready to install the new reclining loveseat.

\n\n\n
\"\"
\n\n\n

We unloaded the loveseat Friday and set it in the driveway under a tarp. The backs of the recliners come off and they’re really light so I just carried them out to the camper. The seat portion of the recliners was another thing altogether. I lifted them onto the dolly and wheeled them out to the camper, but I didn’t have the strength to carry them into the camper alone. I wheeled first one, then the other and set them on my oilskin tablecloth to keep them clean.

\n\n\n

I no sooner got the second one wheeled out to the camper when Mr. FixIt called. He was almost home so I told him I would wait for him before I started the next step. He was really impressed by how much I got done while he was gone. I told him my plan for getting the bottom halves of the chairs inside and he thought it was a fine idea. We brought them in without difficulty and got them placed where we wanted them.

\n\n\n

The man at the dealership where we bought the loveseat said I didn’t need to anchor them down, but I didn’t agree with that. I studied the frame and there were two holes in the front bar of the frame that were obviously for bolting it down to the slide. I could just imagine pulling into our campsite and finding the whole apparatus crushed against the kitchen. We discussed the best way to anchor them and decided to run over to the hardware store in our little village to get four lag bolts. We neither one felt it was necessary to anchor the back of the chair to the floor, too. Once the front is anchored, the loveseat isn’t going anywhere unless the trailer turns over and if that happens, dinging up the front of the kitchen cabinets would be the least of our worries.

\n\n\n
\"\"
\n\n\n

We found exactly what we needed. Mr FixIt told me how to do it and asked if I needed any help. I gave him a kiss and a big thank you for all the help with the heavy lifting. He gave me a kiss right back and told me what a great job I did!!! It’s been a long time since I’ve done a job like this and I absolutely LOVE it. When you push yourself to do something new, then finish it well, there is a huge sense of accomplishment and pride that comes with that.

\n\n\n

So, as I am writing this, I am sitting in my side of the recliner and writing this on my iPad that’s set up on my lap desk. I’m listening to the night sounds and going through a checklist in my mind of what needs to go back in the house and what can be packed in our two trunks we take with us in the bed of the truck. They carry the camping gear we can’t or don’t want to store inside. 

\n\n\n
\"\"
\n\n\n

We did have a bit of concern yesterday regarding our trip to the beach. I called the campground that’s run by the National Parks Service and was told if there was a shutdown, they would be closed. But it looks like the Continuing Resolution will pass and folks can get their paychecks and we can still go on our last big camping trip of the season.

\n\n\n

Welcome, October!!!

\n\n\n

???

\n\n\n
\n\n

“For even when we were with you, we gave you this rule: “The one who is unwilling to work shall not eat.””

\n2 Thessalonians 3:10 NIV\n
\n\n\n

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

\n\n\n

No ads today…Enjoy your Sunday!

\n\n", "date_published": "2023-10-01T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2023/10/01/womens-work-isnt-what-it.html", "tags": ["Strong Women","Camping","Growth","Grace"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2023/08/27/the-early-bird-and-the.html", "title": "The Early Bird and The Late Bloomer", "content_html": "\n
\"\"
\n\n\n

I woke up at 5:30 yesterday morning. The sky was just starting to turn pink and I made the mistake of looking at my phone. My post hadn’t gone live, although I checked and double checked. When I went in and looked, it was just sitting there like a truck stuck in the mud. All it took was hitting a button and off it went through the ether. Amazing, isn’t it? Our grandparents wouldn’t know what to think about all this and how we spend our time.

\n\n\n

Since my mind was wide awake by this point, I decided to put everything away in the camper and get it ready to haul to a rest area that has a dump station. I finished and had Grace parked in her home campsite by noon. Next up was cleaning and photographing the interior of the Lincoln for the insurance company. I have learned so much from Mr. FixIt about how to BE in the world. There are things I never knew how to do as a doctor’s wife. And even as Mr. Virgo’s wife. He taught me a lot of things, but not mechanical things or other practical daily living things. 

\n\n\n

Mr. FixIt is a unique breed of individual. He’s a West Virginian…born and bred. He’s resourceful. He has worked since he was 7 years old when his father bought a movie theater and put the boys to work sweeping floors and popping corn. He can do anything. In the past, if I ever had to make an insurance claim, I was instructed to get an estimate. I submitted it to the insurance company and they either paid me by check or they paid the body shop. I did not know I could negotiate with the insurance company. I always just took their word for it. But like almost any other financial transaction, this is negotiable.

\n\n\n
\"\"
\n\n\n

The initial estimate for the car being totaled wasn’t nearly as much as the car is worth. That’s because the adjuster looked at privately owned Lincolns with the same mileage. However, if it were a dealer car, the amount would be much higher. You could EAT off this car’s engine. It in no way looks like a twenty-one year old car. We cleaned it up and took a bazillion pictures to show just how cherry this little Continental really is. Now we send the photos to the insurance company and wait to see what they say. If it’s still not higher, we will insist they send an adjuster to us or we’ll find our own. We will exhaust all avenues because a few thousand dollars means a lot more to me now than it did when I was a Domestic Goddess.

\n\n\n

It’s funny. Now that I’ve turned 70, things are different somehow. I haven’t had an anxiety attack in a year or more. I’m strong and confident and my BS detector is locked and loaded. I’m becoming a force to be reckoned with and that is completely foreign territory for me. I love it!

\n\n\n

I’ve always known I was a late bloomer, but I swear I never dreamed I’d just be blooming now!

\n\n\n

?

\n\n\n
\n\n

“Joyful is the person who finds wisdom, the one who gains understanding.”

\nProverbs 3:13 NLT\n
\n\n\n

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

\n\n\n

The most prominent image I have of autumn in West Virginia is walking to school…shuffling my feet through the fallen leaves on the sidewalk. It always felt so cozy and comforting. This mug shows the beautiful colors you can find in… #AlmostHeaven

\n\n\n
\"\"
\n\n\n

Shop Now

\n\n", "date_published": "2023-08-27T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2023/08/27/the-early-bird-and-the.html", "tags": ["Strong Women","Wisdom","Aging"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2023/08/14/the-old-woman.html", "title": "The Old Woman", "content_html": "\n
\"aging
\n\n\n

\"We Were Young and Beautiful...Now We Are Just Beautiful!\"

\n\n\n

An old woman came to my door today. I’ve known her since I was in my early twenties. I lost track of her in my thirties. Then, she moved in with us when I was in my early forties. She was usually pretty quiet. She struck me as sad though she never told me that. When I turned fifty-three, I moved away and she didn’t come with me.

\n\n\n

I see her every once in a while…more so the last couple of years. She hovers in the background, watching….and waiting. She doesn’t impose. She’s very polite in her waiting. I’ve felt her nearby. I’ve kinda been anticipating a visit.

\n\n\n

And yesterday…she knocked on my door.

\n\n\n

Proverbially.

\n\n\n

We had to work on the lawn. The storms are coming hard and heavy every couple of days. It’s making the grass grow and interferes with our ability to mow it. The growth was getting a little out of hand. Along with this grass growing, the hedgerow is creeping incrementally into my mowing space. When it gets to the point that I can’t bend forward and mow under the overhanging branches, it’s time to get out the loppers and do some trimming.

\n\n\n

We have thorny things that grow out there. Multiflora rose. Russian olive. I don’t know what all, but they are insidious and grab at your skin and clothes. I cut a pretty thick branch off and when it came down, I grabbed for it and missed. A sharp bit snagged the skin on the back of my hand and tore my skin like paper.

\n\n\n

Knock, knock, knock! Anybody home?

\n\n\n

I was shocked. The old woman looked down at my hand…holding it gently in her own. 

\n\n\n

“There it is.”

\n\n\n

“There what is?” I demanded.

\n\n\n

She took out a tissue and slid the paper thin triangle of skin back into place and wiped away the blood. She looked deep into my eyes, as if to size me up. Was I going to cry? Was I going to cuss a blue streak? 

\n\n\n

“It’s ok. It happens to everyone eventually.” She brushed a wisp of flyaway hair behind my ear, touched the beautiful feather of a red-shouldered hawk I picked up in the field. “They bring you peace, don’t they? The birds.”

\n\n\n

“Yes, they do. I won’t mow over one of their feathers if I can help it.” I said, giving her the side eye. I wasn’t exactly thrilled she decided to show up today. 

\n\n\n

“You have all this beauty around you. Your birds give you the gift of their feathers. You wear your silver crown well, you know. Are you going to let this little thing with your skin get you down?”

\n\n\n

“No. It’s just so…shocking, I guess. I’ve taken care of elderly people with fragile skin since before I turned twenty. I just didn’t expect to see it today…on my hand.”

\n\n\n

“Well, don’t worry yourself over it. I’ll be nearby to guide you whenever you need me.” She patted me on the back and turned to walk back into the woods.

\n\n\n

I watched her fading into the dense foliage. “Wait! Who ARE you???”

\n\n\n

“Don’t you know, love. I’m your Guardian Angel. I’ve been with you all these years. You are quite the assignment!”

\n\n\n

Ahhhhh….of course. I’ve known she was there all along. I’m just really glad she met me in the woods on this sunny Sunday and let me know…aging doesn’t have to be bad or scary. It just…is. The first little tear of fragile skin is as much a right of passage as starting your period or getting your heart broken.

\n\n\n

It’s ok.

\n\n\n

?

\n\n\n
\n\n

“Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”

\n2 Corinthians 4:16-18 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2023-08-14T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2023/08/14/the-old-woman.html", "tags": ["Strong Women","Wisdom","Courage","Aging"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2023/08/06/so-much-mowing.html", "title": "SO Much Mowing!", "content_html": "\n
\"\"
\n\n\n

Two little mushrooms under the maple tree.

\n\n\n

When we got home a week ago, the grass was so long I had to cut it on 5 to keep from popping the belt off the mower deck. I knew I’d be mowing later in the week because 5 isn’t very short. I mowed yesterday on 4 to get caught up and maybe not have to mow for another week. The fall grass is growing now and it’s rough and tough to mow. I didn’t like the way the mower sounded so I came in off the field to grease the fittings in the steering and the wheels. I couldn’t get to the fitting for the steering column because it was too hot. Mr. FixIt use the air compressor and blew off all the extra grass so we can run it up on the truck ramps soon and hit that fitting with some grease. In the meantime, he sprayed a little WD40 on it and it sounds a lot better.

\n\n\n
\"\"
\n\n\n

It rained at least five inches last month…maybe more with evaporation.

\n\n\n

It was really hot out there on the tractor. I drove around with the golf umbrella to keep the sun off. We bought these little fan gizmos that fit across the back of your neck and over your collar bones. They have three fan speeds and while it didn’t really cool me off, the breeze was nice. I was so glad when I was finally finished. Mr. FixIt mowed inside the fence because it’s supposed to rain here today. We’ve really had a nice week weather wise. A little cooler.

\n\n\n
\"\"
\n\n\n

Mr. FixIt’s Elephant Ears…we get more and more every year!

\n\n\n

I was hoping to get out to the farm yesterday but mowing always takes precedence. Now that I have that behind me, I can pack up a few things and get out there for my summer farm fix. Mr. FixIt has his first bowling meeting of the year tonight and football has been on TV already. You can just feel summer wrapping up. Daughter #1 is preparing for the school year. The new teacher they hired decided to take a different job, as did the new clerk…three weeks before school started. So she’s definitely going to have her work cut out for her shifting schedules around and getting someone hired.

\n\n\n

Please pray for the students, teachers, and staff for the new school year. God, please keep them safe!

\n\n\n

?

\n\n\n
\n\n

“In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, Lord, make me dwell in safety.”

\nPsalms 4:8 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2023-08-06T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2023/08/06/so-much-mowing.html", "tags": ["Prayer","Strong Women","The Farm"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2023/08/02/a-reprieve-from-mowing-and.html", "title": "A Reprieve from Mowing and A Mother’s Broken Heart", "content_html": "\n
\"\"
\n\n\n

Mr. FixIt had to run to town yesterday so I asked if he would mind picking up some groceries if I gave him a list. He was happy to oblige so that kept me from having to go to the grocery store. I was just gathering my things to head to the farm to mow when Beans texted. They were just getting ready to mow, so that was two for two! I was off the hook with the house to myself for a few hours. 

\n\n\n

Mr. FixIt checked the mail on his way to town and said I had a book in the mailbox and he would leave it there for me. I ran over to retrieve it then fixed my mug of RYZE. I settled in my Big Red Chair and cracked the book open. This is not going to be a fun read. My camping friend Jea Santovasco wrote it about her son, Jay Austin and the love of his life, Lauren. They were the two American cyclists murdered by terrorists in Tajikistan five years ago. The book started out as a personal journal to help her remember the details of what happened after her world stopped and changed her life forever.But after this time, she’s come to realize it may be of some assistance to other grieving parents, so she published it.

\n\n\n

Jay was an extraordinary human being and had accomplished so much in his short life. I had actually heard of him before I met Jea as he had championed Tiny Home living. To perpetuate his work on environmental issues and sustainability, Jea started the Jay Austin Simply Be Kind Foundation so that he may be remembered. All proceeds from the sale of the book goes to support the foundation. While it is a painful read, it could be helpful to others who have lost a child to a violent crime. It isn’t a book for someone just starting the grief journey. Some time has to be spent experiencing your own grief before something like Jea’s book would be understood and helpful.

\n\n\n

I would encourage you to order a copy. Jea hopes to sell enough books to plant a pollinator garden n Jay’s memory. I think we can do better than that! I’m already committed to dedicating one of my pollinator gardens here at Marshmallow Ranch to Jay’s memory. After you read of this extraordinary young man, I hope you’ll do the same. You can purchase the book here: My Stories Since The Death Of My Son Jay Austin: An American Murdered By Terrorists While Cycling The Globe

\n\n\n

You can read a story about the attack from Radio Free Europe HERE.

\n\n\n

It’s hard to imagine the horror Jea went through and continues to go through. On top of the loss of her son, she had the all too common experience of people she thought would always be there for her that just…weren’t. There were those who thought she should get over it. They thought she needed antidepressants, but she wasn’t depressed. She was sad. No one can fully understand another’s grief…no matter how many times they have experienced their own. The Jea I met camping at Blackwater Falls is gone and after just five short years, she still experiences the depth of her pain every day. Some would say this is complicated grief, but I think it’s more a mother’s broken heart that won’t be healed till they meet again someday. I’m just so grateful that she’s still here with us and I look forward to the day we can camp together again.

\n\n\n

❤️‍?

\n\n\n
\n\n

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

\nPsalms‬ ‭34‬:‭18‬ ‭NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2023-08-02T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2023/08/02/a-reprieve-from-mowing-and.html", "tags": ["Grief","Strong Women","Warning","Pollinator Garden"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2023/07/15/biscuits-and-sunsets-and-taytay.html", "title": "Biscuits and Sunsets and TayTay", "content_html": "\n
\"\"
\n\n\n

I didn’t sleep well Thursday night and ended up grabbing a couple of hours sleep on the couch. I had promised Ben we’d have Sausage Gravy and Biscuits one morning but when he saw me asleep on the sofa, he assumed it wasn’t going to be biscuit day. So, he ate cereal and the rest of the crew got up. I heated up the French Toast from the other morning and I had my usual egg in a tortilla with cheese. We all decided we’d have breakfast for lunch so I made the biscuits and gravy in the early afternoon and we were happy campers.

\n\n\n
\"\"
\n\n\n

The girls came over as I was baking the biscuits. They were getting ready to go to the Taylor Swift concert. Wow…this is a whole thing. You have to dress in the “era” of your favorite album. Lots of pink and sparklies. The girls made bracelets and you trade them with others at the concert. They stood in the merch line for hours to get their t-shirts and what have you. And I know, as I’m writing this, they are having the time of their lives. I do love that their musical idol is a brilliant young business woman who isn’t overly sexual onstage. Who knows what time they’ll get in from the concert, but I know there are going to be plenty of stories to tell.

\n\n\n
\"\"
\n\n\n

Mr. FixIt and I went out to the Westminster Hills Open Space to see the sunset last night. You could see the storm clouds building northwest of Boulder and I hoped it wouldn’t get down as far as the stadium where the kids are. Around 9:15, the storm hit where we are staying and you could hear the ping-plink-ting of graupel which is a soft hail…almost snow. I watched the radar and it looks like the storm will completely miss the concert.

\n\n\n
\"\"
\n\n\n

We have been having so much fun! Ben and Sue are as much family to us as any blood relative. My Colorado son-in-law came from good, good people. They have a funeral to go to today. We are staying here and Daughter #2 and her wife are coming over for a visit in the afternoon. Even though we’ve been busy, I have been relaxing and thoroughly enjoying our time here.

\n\n\n
\"\"
\n\n\n

We got here two weeks ago and we have ten more days to go. It just flies by so quickly. 

\n\n\n

?

\n\n\n
\n\n

“It will be a shelter from daytime heat and a hiding place from storms and rain.”

\nIsaiah 4:6 NLT\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2023-07-15T00:00:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2023/07/15/biscuits-and-sunsets-and-taytay.html", "tags": ["Colorado","Family","Strong Women"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2023/03/04/i-love-the-night-sky.html", "title": "I Love the Night Sky", "content_html": "\n
\"\"
\n\n\n

I was working on the computer yesterday afternoon when I remembered I needed to find the title for the Big Birdhouse. I have looked everywhere and can’t find it. So, I gathered my things and headed to the DMV in town. Mr. FixIt decided not to come with me. I sat for an hour and when I got to the window, it turned out I needed his ID. So we’ll have to go back on Monday and get it. 

\n\n\n

*sigh*

\n\n\n

Other than the wasted trip to town, there was an absolutely beautiful end to the day. As I was unloading the groceries from the car, I looked up at the clouds scudding across the sky. The winds were strong all day yesterday and when the clouds are low, they literally fly by above you. I scanned the sky and there was a full rainbow with the moon front and center. What a sight! I snapped photo after photo of the beautiful clouds that surrounded Marshmallow Ranch. I have a vast collection of sky photos.

\n\n\n
\n
\"\"
\n\n\n
\"\"
\n\n\n
\"\"
\n\n\n
\"\"
\n
\n\n\n

A group of my camping girlfriends and I will be gathering in a couple of weeks for a fun crafting weekend. We’ve done this many times over the past several years. We like to meet in March because the real camping season hasn’t started yet and we’re bored to tears with winter. The girls are renting a cabin but I’m bringing Grace and camping by the lake. One of the girls is bringing her camper and has the site next to mine. It’s going to be really cold, but I’ve stayed in campers during the coldest depths of winter. I will be fine. Besides, I’ll be crafting in the cabin during the day. I can hardly wait! 

\n\n\n

I’ve been working long and hard on this project. I hope to launch it on March 13th. Then, I leave for the camping trip on the 17th. Pray there’s no snow. I’ve camped in the snow, and I’ve towed in the snow…I don’t care to do that again. 

\n\n\n

Camping season is coming, people! I have my truck absolutely stuffed with camping gear from last season as well as the items I took from the a-frame as I prepared it to sell. I’ve got to wrap this project up because I have a boatload of work to do!

\n\n\n

?

\n\n\n
\n\n

“And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.”

\nHebrews 10:24-25 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2023-03-04T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2023/03/04/i-love-the-night-sky.html", "tags": ["Strong Women","Camping","Friends"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/08/04/im-not-your-typical-girly.html", "title": "I’m Not Your Typical Girly Girl", "content_html": "\n
\"\"
\n\n\n

When I went to school, we took an aptitude test that would give some idea what career path you might enjoy. While many of my friends were getting results like doctor, nurse, lawyer, and teacher…I came out as a mechanic. I was mortified but later in life learned that interest would serve me well as an adult. I studied to be a Radiologic Technologist…a career that is quite mechanical based. Drawing blood, visualizing internal structures, reading x-rays all require special thinking…something I excel at. When it came to doing things around the house and building things, I was aces. I can tear things apart and put them back together. Even the simple tasks of putting up a tent or towing a trailer involve a great deal of mechanical skills. And besides…they’re fun!

\n\n\n

When I was canning the half-runner beans last week, I had two canners going on the stove top. The two larger burners are on the right front and the left rear. My smaller canner was on the left and it was pushed back against the control panel on the back of the stove. I remember smelling a very slight odor that reminded me of melting plastic, but it was fleeting. I had some plastic containers a little to close to the stove so I assumed that was where the smell was coming from.

\n\n\n

When I was cleaning up everything the next day and wiped down the stove, I noticed I had actually melted the left side of the control panel. The buttons would not work on that side. So, Mr. FixIt showed me what pieces to order to fix it. They arrived on Tuesday, so yesterday morning after breakfast, I unplugged the stove and pulled it away from the wall far enough to get back behind it to work.

\n\n\n

I had no idea how to change this piece, other than a general understanding of “plug and play” electronics. I found the right tool to take the cover off the back of the stove. I carefully observed the panel and how it was connected to the power. There were four screws holding it in place. Philip’s head. I got the right screwdriver and removed the panel being very careful to place the screws in a small bowl for later. I unplugged the power connection on the panel and removed the four screws. The whole panel easily slid out from the opening and I set it aside.

\n\n\n

Using a damp cloth with some grease cutting detergent, I wiped down the area and placed the new unit in the opening. I reinserted the four mounting screws and plugged in the panel. At this point, I plugged in the stove to test the control panel and it worked perfectly! I screwed the back cover in place, cleaned up all the drips and grease from the sides of the stove and the  cabinet wall. Then carefully slid the stove back in place.

\n\n\n
\"\"
\n\n\n

Voila…done!

\n\n\n

The next chore was replacing the cover on the secondary filter assembly on the pool pump. Mr. FixIt bought a new one and we soon figured out this was a two person job. One of us had to plug a drain hole while the other removed the old like and replaced it with the new one. Try as I might, I could NOT get that lid to seat right. So, we switched places and Mr. FixIt gave it a shot. He was sure it was the right piece, but this pump is a different brand and the size was off by the slightest of margins. We ended up putting the old lid back on and now we’ll have to take the new lid back and exchange it.

\n\n\n

As I was straightening the living room and moving some things out of the way for the carpet dude who is returning today, I noticed places where the termites have made small holes in the wall. I wasn’t around when Mr. FixIt discussed the treatment plan, and I like to have a thorough understanding of what is going on and what to expect. I’ll have to call the termite dude today and quiz him. It may be perfectly normal to get migrating termites after a treatment…I don’t know. But I’ll find out…if for no other reason than curiosity. 

\n\n\n

I have always had to assume a good deal of the responsibility for repairs at the house. Hubby #2 was a doctor and was gone a lot. Mr. Virgo was NOT mechanically adept in the slightest and I did the repair things that I could to save money. Then, when I became a widow, there WASN’T anyone but me to do stuff. Thank God for YouTube videos and how-to books. Mr. FixIt is often stunned that I not only CAN do these kinds of things, but that I WANT to and genuinely LIKE to do them. I think he kinda beams when I can figure something out. And when I am finished with a job, he invariably says, “Great job, baby!”

\n\n\n

That’s when I kinda beam right back!

\n\n\n

?

\n\n\n
\n

“Do all things without grumbling or disputing,”

\nPhilippians 2:14 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2022-08-04T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/08/04/im-not-your-typical-girly.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Choices","Farm Life"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/04/02/farm-life-is-fun.html", "title": "Farm Life is Fun!", "content_html": "\n
\"\"
\n\n\n

I woke up yesterday morning to a weird chewing sound. Anyone who has ever lived in an old farmhouse knows there are any number of critters that could be making this noise, but let me tell you…I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt…this wasn’t your everyday little ol’ field mouse. This sucker sounded like maybe a beaver commenced to making the house his new home.

\n\n\n

I gingerly pulled back the curtains that serve as the “door” between the bedroom and the living room…afraid of what I might spook in the process. I didn’t see anything, but after a moment, the chewing commenced again. I listened carefully and from what I could tell, it was coming from the area of the front door. 

\n\n\n

Not wanting to scare the thing away before I had a chance to identify it, I tiptoed carefully across the living room and carefully pulled the curtain on the door back ever so slowly. There, in all his glory, was a fat grey squirrel doing his best to eat the house! I smacked my hand hard on the wall on the other side of his feast and he jumped three feet in the air…his little legs pumping before he ever hit the ground.

\n\n\n

I opened the door with some trepidation. I mean…was he just standing off to the side waiting for me to come out in the open before he pounced? Or did I really scare him away? Did he have friends out there ready to take me on? I wouldn’t put it past the little beasties! But, alas…the critter was gone and I had a chance to look at the damage. Let’s just say this little fellow has been at this for a while. There was a three to four inch semicircular hole in the outer level of wood with distinct teeth marks from the time spent trying to…what? Get in the house? I can’t imagine why he would want to chew through the side of the house when there are easily a dozen places where he could more easily gain access. Wear down his teeth? Squirrels, like beavers, have teeth that continually grow and they need to be worn down with chewing. I imagine that’s where this was going, but why the house of all things? There’s a million trees…standing and fallen…where he could go. There are outbuildings…the old barn…heck, he could have gone to Chicago for that matter. Why did he want to chew that place in particular? We’ll never know because I scared him off before I had the chance to ask!

\n\n\n

I sat down with my trusty iPhone and searched the internet for “How to keep a squirrel from eating your house.” It popped up before I had the chance to finish asking, meaning…I’m not the first person to ask this question. Oddly reassuring. It said you could pour hot sauce on the spot, but the poor little squirrel might get it in his little eyes which could lead to blindness and since I cannot have a blind squirrel running into things on the farm, I elected for option #2…mothballs.

\n\n\n
\"\"
\n\n\n

Now, did I have mothballs? Well, in all honesty, I thought I had seen some down in the basement but no…it was Epsom salts. Not a good alternative, unfortunately. I needed some light bulbs for the kitchen fixture anyway as they were burned out. And I was out of paper towels. So, I grabbed my purse and keys and headed back over to the Dollar General where I had visited the day before.

\n\n\n

I searched up and down the aisles and finally asked a clerk if they had mothballs. She was good…she told me off the top of her head where they were…exactly. After paying for my purchases, I headed back home with my bright yellow sack to banish the tree rat! I needed a mesh sack and didn’t have one, so I cut the scrubby netting off the back of a dish cloth and that worked nicely. I took a length of my yarn and tied up a few mothballs in my makeshift sack and hung it over the place where Rocky Squirrel had been recently noshing. We’ll see next time if it worked!

\n\n\n

In the meantime, we had several snow squalls come blowing through. As is typical this time of year, we saw hail, sleet, graupel, snow, rain and sunshine all in the span of fifteen minutes. It was epic! I changed the light bulbs, loaded up the truck, and headed home. The Piggly Wiggly was PACKED at 3:30. What on earth do people need to buy at 3:30 on a Friday afternoon…the line on both registers was six deep! *gasp*

\n\n\n
\"\"
\n\n\n

With the fixin’s for a big ol’ pot spaghetti in hand, I headed on home to greet my sweetheart. Absence indeed does make the heart grow fonder and we are always tickled to death to see each other after a couple of days. After dinner, I finished the hat I started knitting Wednesday. It was one heck of an April Fool’s Day!!!

\n\n\n

?

\n\n\n
\n

“for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God’s church?”

\n1 Timothy 3:5 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2022-04-02T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/04/02/farm-life-is-fun.html", "tags": ["Strong Women","The Farm","Farm Life","Control"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/02/27/the-common-denominator.html", "title": "The Common Denominator", "content_html": "\n
\"\"
\n\n\n

I was so fortunate to have the opportunity to be a stay-at-home mom when Hubby #2 joined a medical practice in 1986. We lived in the mountains of Colorado. We had a big five bedroom log house on a couple of acres. I fancied myself as some sort of latent hippy mama…a true granola, tree hugging believer in peace and love and Mother Earth News. Those were halcyon days. I was only 33 years old when we moved to Glenwood Springs. 

\n\n\n

I learned to ski. I baked our bread and made our yogurt. We burned wood…cutting and splitting great truckloads of logs. I made friends. Lifelong, lasting friends I’m still close to. I discovered the great joys of female friendship and the lovely tradition of meeting at a coffee shop once a week. There is one piece of advice I give my girls. Never forsake your female friendships. There will come a day…without a doubt…that you will need each other to get through the trials and tribulations of life. Even if it’s just to gather over a cup of coffee to solve the world’s problems and vent about the little difficulties of life.

\n\n\n

When I first contemplated moving back to my home state after Mr. Virgo died, I asked my friends from high school, “How often do you gather for coffee?” I was told they had never done that. It just wasn’t something they did. These women worked and worked hard. Their weekends were spent caring for their homes and families. The economy isn’t as fluid in West Virginia and folks don’t spend frivolously. This is why we didn’t get a Starbucks here till just in the last few years. Few West Virginians will spend upwards of $5 for a cup of coffee. 

\n\n\n

While I totally understood the thinking behind it, I also knew these gals didn’t know what they were missing. I considered how much nicer their lives might have been had they had a group of gals to gather over coffee on a regular basis. I knew how much my women friends added to my life. So I set out to facilitate change in our little burg. I started sending out invitations to a handful of gals to meet for coffee. 

\n\n\n

We started out meeting in the lounge area of a popular historic hotel. We eventually needed to find better digs when the hotel remodeled and out little free spot was eliminated. I found a coffee shop on the south side of town that has a large meeting room…a sunroom, of sorts. We try to gather once a month, although there was a long stretch during covid when we did not see each other unless we met outside in the park.

\n\n\n

My heart bursts when I see women who maybe hadn’t had a trusted female confidant in their lives join in lively conversations. I love when they move and shift around the table to catch up with each other on a more personal level. And at the end of our time together, the first one who needs to leave shouts, “Time for a picture!” Most often, we enlist the assistance of another customer at the coffee shop to take a group picture. Yesterday, we had a more intimate group and I captured a selfie that fit us all in the frame.

\n\n\n

I love these gals. I love listening to their joy in the simple act of gathering. Yesterday was the first time we’ve met since our dear friend Sparky died. I felt her absence keenly. As I was hugging each in turn as we prepared to leave, I whispered to one, “We didn’t even mention our girl.” She said, “I know…it’s ok.” 

\n\n\n

I know Sparky wouldn’t want us crying in our coffee. She was too matter of fact and down to earth than that. She would want us to DO something. Support a charity. Join a committee. Serve on a board. Bring people together to make this world a better place. So, I give great consideration to the subjects of Sparky’s affection…mainly the down and out, be they two or four legged…and I contribute accordingly with her in my heart. And, I continue to gather these wonderful women together to love and support each other and to network ideas. This is my way of facilitating change in the world. We are each different in so many ways, yet our backgrounds hold us in the arms of our youth. We have found our common denominator. 

\n\n\n

Love.

\n\n\n

?

\n\n\n
\n

“God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved; God will help her when morning dawns.”

\nPsalm 46:5 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2022-02-27T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/02/27/the-common-denominator.html", "tags": ["Strong Women","Fun","Love","Friends"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/10/29/heart-melt-and-car-repair.html", "title": "Heart Melt and Car Repair", "content_html": "\n
\"\"
\n\n\n

Awwwww, you guys! You went and made me cry! Did you read the comments the last couple of days? God is so good! He knew I needed a boost and there y’all were! I love writing these “letters from home” to you all. That’s what they feel like…newsy little missives from my heart to yours…letting you know what’s going on in this country girl’s life I get to live. Knowing I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing…vanquishing the darkness back where it belongs, is a privilege I don’t take lightly. Sharing that with such supportive readers is more than any writer could ask for. Thank you…every single one of you!

\n\n\n

So, yesterday morning I did what we all need to do every year…I went and got the tatas squished. I always schedule my mammogram in October…Breast Cancer Awareness Month. That way I can’t forget because it’s in the news a lot. I also had my appointment with my gynecologist in the afternoon. Just because we are older now, doesn’t mean we don’t need to still get checked from time to time. I had a total hysterectomy in 1994, I think it was. And still, I had some dysplasia (abnormal cells) a couple of years ago. And, I had a surgical biopsy on a breast lump around the same time. Cancer can still strike so it’s best to get checked. Your health care provider can advise you how often. I was pleased that nothing was wrong…up or down. Yay!

\n\n\n

When I came out to the truck, i saw I’d missed a call from my good friend, Diane. I called back and we chatted for a while. When I started up the truck…the engine light came on! Wouldn’t you know it? Mr. FixIt is knee deep in redoing ALL the brakes on his truck and is currently waiting on parts so we don’t have an extra vehicle. Now, I’ve learned a lot from this man about vehicle maintenance and the importance of shopping around. I knew the first thing I needed to do was have someone hook up a reader to the computer in the truck and find out what code what triggered that made the check engine light come on.

\n\n\n

I happened to be pretty close to a Ford dealer…not the one I normally frequent…but I figured they could hook up the scanner and check real quick. Well…he said he would have to schedule me back another time because they were booked and it would cost a $158 diagnostic fee. Once I picked myself back up off the floor, I looked at him in disbelief. 

\n\n\n

“I’m sorry…to plug a cord into an outlet and push a button???”

\n\n\n

“Yes, ma’am.”

\n\n\n

He was being polite.

\n\n\n

“Ummmm…I don’t think so.” 

\n\n\n

I went to the auto parts store next door. He checked and gave me the code. I checked with engine-codes.com (clever name) and it directed me to the nearest place that could fix it. It turns out, this particular code can be triggered by a few different things so he suggested we reset it and if it comes back on, then we could fix it. Wouldn’t you know, I continued my shopping and soon, check engine light was back on. 

\n\n\n

I went to an auto parts store and was told the part was $285! Hokey smokes! I was polite.

\n\n\n

“Ummmm…I don’t think so.”

\n\n\n

I went to Advantage Auto and they had the original part in stock…$73! Bingo.

\n\n\n

Then…the light went off! What??? *sigh* Ok…the oxygen sensor is bad and it won’t be long till it turns on and stays on. With Mr. FixIt’s truck out of commission for I don’t know how long, I’l going to go ahead and get the part fixed.

\n\n\n

What is the moral of the story? 

\n\n\n

You really DON’T have to go to the dealership to get something fixed. 

\n\n\n

Shop around for your best price.

\n\n\n

Always check through a search engine and YouTube videos to see how things are made and what to do when they’re broken. Educate yourself so when you talk to the nice man at the repair place, he can know you know what you’re talking about. There ARE still places that take advantage of women who are on their own and charge them exorbitant fees and do unnecessary work.

\n\n\n

We just had an interaction last week at the RV service center when I had a couple of things that needed tweaked. The service man started in by talking over me and “man-splaining” stuff. My blood pressure started to rise. Mr. FixIt told me later he almost told the guy he’d better check himself because he had no idea who he was dealing with. But he could see I handled it fine on my own. He’s good that way…ready to be my wing man if I need him. Totally prepared to sit in the co-pilot’s seat if I don’t. We’re a good team.

\n\n\n

So, that was my day…just squishin’ the tatas and gettin’ things done. There’s never a dull moment!

\n\n\n

???

\n\n\n
\n

“Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.”

\nProverbs 16:24 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2021-10-29T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/10/29/heart-melt-and-car-repair.html", "tags": ["Health","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/08/03/generations-of-strong-women.html", "title": "Generations of Strong Women", "content_html": "\n
\"\"
\n\n\n

I have a second cousin who was fortunate enough to have a portrait taken when her baby was born that included five generations. We never had a formal family portrait made with five generations because my grandma and mom were gone before my first grandchild was born. But, the photographs we have are cherished dearly.

\n\n\n

I was playing around on Ancestry the other day and it gave me this collage with my maternal great grandmother, my grandma, my mom, and me. I think mom favors her dad’s people, but you can sure tell the family resemblance with the other three. My great grandmother, Nellie May, died when she was only 28 years old…my grandma was nine. Nellie left her husband with three little kids to raise and he soon had a new wife to take care of them.

\n\n\n

Knowing my great grandfather as I did, I know Nellie May had to be a strong woman. Then losing her mother so young, my grandma and her older sister had to take care of the baby while Grandpa worked. I know what a strong woman she was. She only went to school through eighth grade and married my PopPop just shy of her 16th birthday when they ran off to Oakland, MD. Her first baby was stillborn, then my mom came along. Grandma had five other babies in seven years. She was much happier working outdoors than in, so my mom was left with a lot of the work of caring for the babies and the house. 

\n\n\n

My older brother was born with cerebral palsy, so she had to be strong to do all the things she needed to do to raise a special needs child while navigating the minefield of a marriage stunted by alcohol and emotional abuse. It wasn’t an easy life for any of these women, yet they created a beautiful line of strong women. I see it in my own children and grandchildren.

\n\n\n

I’m proud to stand in this line. The lessons I’ve learned from the women who created me have been invaluable. They’ve made me who I am today. They’ve taught me to rely on Jesus to carry me through the rough times. They’ve taught me to love and care for others. I hope I do them justice as I try to be strong in the passages of life. Sometimes I don’t feel I measure up, but then I know…that’s the enemy talking and not the way God…or these women…saw/see me.

\n\n\n

I know that the reason I live in West Virginia now is the love for these hills that I learned from my ancestors. I know it must be in my bones, because I feel a kinship to this red clay soil like nowhere else I’ve lived. Perhaps these three women who’ve gone before me are sitting in a row of rocking chairs on the front porch, looking down at me and mine. Maybe they smile and nod. Maybe there’s a lot of eye-rolling going on. I hope they’re proud of what I’ve done with what they shared with me.

\n\n\n

?

\n\n\n
\n

“Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.””

\nGenesis 2:18 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2021-08-03T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/08/03/generations-of-strong-women.html", "tags": ["Family","Strong Women","Memories"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/01/12/day-the-birds-of-the.html", "title": "Day 302: The Birds of the Air", "content_html": "\n
\"\"
\n\n\n

It’s been a long time since we had a really deep down, heart-to-heart chat. It’s been a long time since I needed to process some really difficult things and deal with the resultant side effects. I’m NOT going to dive into politics here...and I don’t want to stir up a political maelstrom. If that starts up, I’ll just delete the unhelpful comments. This isn’t about politics. This is about pain.

\n\n\n

I have PTSD. It’s one of those awful things you sometimes get when you face a particularly painful trauma, and I got it from watching Mr. Virgo have his heart attack and the ensuing resuscitation. It went on for what seemed like hours. I was left with flashbacks and debilitating anxiety. EMDR went a long way toward easing that pain. And, it’s been a long time since I’ve experienced the effects.

\n\n\n

After the events of last week at our Nation’s Capitol, I was surprised I wasn’t feeling worse than I was. I seemed to be handling things pretty well and went on about my business. I now realize what I had done was to compartmentalize my feelings. I kinda packed them up in a neat and tidy box labeled “Bad Things” and pushed it aside. That doesn’t mean I didn’t FEEL things. I just dampened them down and moved them aside.

\n\n\n

Over the weekend I started getting a splitting headache and my body hurt everywhere. I was afraid I was getting sick, but this felt more familiar. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. I had an experience a few years ago where I came into close contact with someone I believe to be dabbling in dark things. My relationship with God has been so strong since Mr. Virgo died, that I seem to have this radar that goes off when I’m around darkness. I not only feel that crawly sensation on my skin, but I literally get sick to my stomach. I believe that is a spiritual attack and I am very careful to stay away from such things. 

\n\n\n

A Facebook “friend” writes posts from time to time about church and on the surface, it’s very upbeat. On closer inspection, there seems to be something off. A little too “Stepford Wife” or something. Yesterday, there was a post with a rather surprising photo that maybe could have been read a couple of different ways. I went in to read the comments for an indication as to which direction this was leading. Someone posted a comment with a video. I had seen this video the day before with a comment saying someone from West Virginia had posted it.

\n\n\n

I totally expected to open the video and hear something Biblical and I can guarantee you....it was NOT. It was vile and I won’t go into further detail and I certainly won’t share it here. I had that immediate creepy crawly dark sensation on my skin and ran to the bathroom to throw up. I was sick for over two hours. I climbed in bed and read my bible for a while. That always comforts me and reminds me, God always wins in the end.

\n\n\n

I felt much better afterwards. The headache is all but gone, as is the creepy crawly feeling. The enemy vanquished back. The verse I read was Luke 12:22-26...where we are told God takes care of the birds and we are so much more important than any birds. When I sat down to write my post last night, the first thing I saw on Facebook was this picture of my cousin Mike, cradling a female cardinal in his hands. It had managed to get into their screened porch, so he gently picked it up to take it outside. We call him “The Bird Whisperer”. I loved this little God wink...a cardinal coming to remind me how important we are to God and we have no need to worry if we remain close to his side.

\n\n\n

These are dark and trying times. I’ve been carefully winnowing my friends list on Facebook again. Not to weed out those whose political beliefs don’t mesh with mine. I welcome respectful repartee. But I don’t respect violence in any “way, shape, form or fashion”, as Governor Justice says.

\n\n\n

Today is a brand new day and no matter what comes my way, I know...I can do all things with Christ who strengthens me. 

\n\n\n

???

\n\n\n
\n

“Jesus said to his disciples: I tell you not to worry about your life! Don't worry about having something to eat or wear. Life is more than food or clothing. Look at the crows! They don't plant or harvest, and they don't have storehouses or barns. But God takes care of them. You are much more important than any birds. Can worry make you live longer? If you don't have power over small things, why worry about everything else?”

\nLuke 12:22-26 CEV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2021-01-12T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/01/12/day-the-birds-of-the.html", "tags": ["Faith","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","God","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Insight"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/01/03/day-covidthe-new-widowmaker.html", "title": "Day 293: Covid...the New “Widowmaker”", "content_html": "\n
\"\"
\n\n\n

When Mr. Virgo had his heart attack, we were standing in a camper deciding which one we wanted to take us into retirement. A little less than four hours later, he was gone. The cardiologist came in to sit with me and explain what a “widowmaker” was. It’s the kind of heart attack caused by a sudden 100% blockage of the left anterior descending artery in the heart. You seldom survive that, especially if other arteries are also blocked, or partially blocked. It’s a snatch death...unexpected, sudden, unimaginable.

\n\n\n

There’s a large group of new widows in the last year. Women who would more than likely still have their husbands if it weren’t for Covid-19. Men are disproportionately susceptible to dying from Covid, so there are more widows than widowers. Yet, besides Covid, they have another thing in common. Most of them had to live with the fact their loved one died with strangers. This add a whole new dimension to the “snatch death” that I didn’t have to deal with.

\n\n\n

I also wasn’t left with little ones at home to try to raise with bills to pay and a house to manage and perhaps a questionable income. These women, and men, are charting new territory in grief and my heart breaks for them. It’s not just spouses touched by these devastating losses. Other family members and dear friends are left struggling...trying to make sense of a senseless situation. Trying to find, and give, love and support.

\n\n\n

When I lost Mr. Virgo and was actively grieving and needed hugs, I could go visit friends or go to the mall in our small town or the local grocery store. I could just about count on running into multiple people who offered me hugs and support and cups of coffee. In the age of Covid, it’s harder to find that kind of support.

\n\n\n

I read a story this week about grief and Covid. These new widows and widowers are doing what I did...they’re reaching out online for support and caring with others going through the same thing. I’m so grateful for all the grief peeps I met along the way, and for all of you who came along to help me though. I know they will find their grief peeps, too. 

\n\n\n

I pray you never have to walk this path and find your way alone. But if, God forbid you do or someone you know does, you can find some resources here:

\n\n\n

New York Times: ‘The Other Half of My Soul’: Widows of Covid-19 Bond Over Sudden Loss

\n\n\n

NBC News:   A club nobody 'wanted to join': How Covid widows are finding support through Facebook

\n\n\n

Facebook:   Young Widows and Widowers of Covid-19

\n\n\n

?

\n\n\n
\n

“So our bodies return to the earth, and the life-giving breath returns to God. Nothing makes sense. I have seen it all— nothing makes sense.”

\nEcclesiastes 12:7-8 CEV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2021-01-03T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/01/03/day-covidthe-new-widowmaker.html", "tags": ["Grief","Strong Women","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/12/30/day-let-your-light-shine.html", "title": "Day 289: Let Your Light Shine Brighter", "content_html": "\n
\"\"
\n\n\n

My grandma had all kinds of sayings that were descriptive and puzzling and funny and weird. Some were long handed down colloquialisms. Some were just those inside jokes that develop within the family and you’re surprised no one else has heard them...they’re just so accurate. One saying she used a lot...it was an Appalachian take on Karma. If you did something you might not ought to have done, or if you made a simple mistake that came back to bite you in the butt later, Grandma would exclaim... “Well, your chickens are just coming home to roost.” Meaning...you’re going to have to pay for that one.

\n\n\n

Covid. You would be hard pressed at this point to find someone who doesn’t know someone in their circle who has had it. I hear more and more, every week. I can’t count anymore how many people I know who have had it or knows someone who has. I find it just as concerning today as I did when this first started spreading like wildfire in March. My only fear is that someone I know and love will get it and die. Thank God, the ones I know personally have been among the fortunates who just get sick. Science is still trying to figure out why some feel nothing much more than a bad cold while others seem a little sick one day and die the next. 

\n\n\n

It’s a crazy disease. And seriously, one that should never, ever have gotten out of hand like this in the United States of America. I’m not going to go on a rant over this here, but I have choice words when I’m watching the news with Mr. FixIt...trust me.

\n\n\n

The other day, Daughter #2 called in a panic. They have a good friend who totaled his car a couple of weeks ago and they helped him out. His bubble is small, like theirs, although he does work in assisted living. His patient population had remained untouched by Covid until the week of his accident. And that is when my daughter went to pick him up from the emergency room after his car accident and let him stay with them for a couple of days to make sure he was ok.

\n\n\n

Within a few days, he tested positive for Covid. And, three days later, my daughter and her wife began having symptoms. They went right away and got tested, however, tests can often be negative when taken too early in the course of the illness. They haven’t had another test yet, but the circumstances wouldn’t be any different for them if they had. They are isolated and will schedule a repeat test sometime this week.

\n\n\n

I am also thanking God they aren’t any sicker than they are. Right now, it’s mostly the fatigue that’s hitting them, and my daughter says it really doesn’t feel much worse than a really bad cold. Thankfully, she has Type O blood...they say those with that blood type seem to get a less severe case. Which is good because she also has bad asthma. 

\n\n\n

They were just trying to do something kind to help their friend out when he crashed his car. They thought they were safe with all the precautions and their small social bubbles. But, it just goes to show you, this disease is nothing to trifle with. We cannot afford to let our collective guard down...which leads me to my main gripe.

\n\n\n

Sitting in my living room, not seeing my family since March...not seeing my Colorado family since August 2019...not eating in a restaurant since February, not camping, not socializing outside of direct family who also socially isolate and then only visiting outside and distanced. Making all these sacrifices and then watching all those people going through the airports and mingling at the malls, knowing...KNOWING full well what’s going to come in two weeks...it makes me so mad I could spit nails! I worked in medicine for forty-two years. I was married to an internist for twenty-one of those. I know how hard those on the front lines work when there ISN’T a pandemic raging. 

\n\n\n

All it would have taken was a warning in January...something deadly is coming. Prepare yourselves. These are the steps you’re going to need to take. Do these things so we can hunker down and get through it and get back to normal as soon as possible. New Zealand did it. Other countries did it. 

\n\n\n

This isn’t our Grandfather’s country anymore. What happened to the spirit of a people who rallied around the war effort and sacrificed for others? Those who say “You can’t stop living your life!” Tell that to the 330,000+ families who have lost their beloveds. It just boggles my mind that there are STILL people out there who think this is all a hoax or it’s overblown or it’s just a political ploy to try to control the masses. How many body bags does it take to convince them this is real and the medical community is about to crack?

\n\n\n

Ok...ok...I got on my soapbox after all. I can’t help it. It’s come after MY baby now! And this mama is pissed!!!

\n\n\n

IT’S NOT FOREVER...IT’S JUST FOR NOW!!!

\n\n\n

STAY HOME

\n\n\n

WATCH YOUR DISTANCE

\n\n\n

WEAR A MASK

\n\n\n

WASH YOUR HANDS

\n\n\n

And, please pray my baby and her wife get better quickly with no complications or lasting side effects.

\n\n\n

PLEASE

\n\n\n

When times are dark....let your light shine brighter!

\n\n\n

Photo Credit: Steve Derrick - https://www.timesunion.com/entertainment/article/Local-artist-unmasks-soul-of-front-line-workers-15513007.php

\n\n\n

?

\n\n\n
\n

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”

\nPhilippians 2:3-4 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-12-30T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/12/30/day-let-your-light-shine.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Love","Wisdom","Courage","Warning","Choices","Change","Kindness"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/12/18/day-be-careful-what-you.html", "title": "Day 279: Be Careful What You Wish For", "content_html": "\n
\"\"
\n\n\n

I was browsing photos in a Facebook Group I belong to the other day. It was one of those “You Might Be From __________ If...” pages. People post stories and photos. There are a precious few of the “old guard” who grew up and know those pictured. But there are far more who come on and say... “Does anyone recognize the people in this photo?” Those are the sad ones because the elders are dying off without labeling the photos or teaching the young’uns who were in them.

\n\n\n

My grandma was pretty good about writing the names of folks on the back with the stub of a pencil, most likely whittled to a point with my PopPop’s pen knife. This particular photo caught my eye because I’ve seen it all my life. It’s the old one room schoolhouse that was a couple of miles from the farm. My mom and one of her brothers are in that photo and I smiled at the memories that came rushing back to me.

\n\n\n

We have that photo somewhere in the family archives, and now, thanks to modern technology, I have it safely ensconced in my iPad and the Cloud. I can still see Grandma in her rocking chair by the front window, looking through her “picture book” and walking down memory lane. She would point and name everyone, then tell a story or share their nickname. Everyone had a nickname. Just yesterday, my baby cousin asked me what Grandma’s name was for me. I was “Ginny Lynny” or just “Pet”. She was “Trinket”. 

\n\n\n

This particular photo was taken shortly after the Great Depression. I want to say it was around 1936-37, judging by the size of my mom and her brother. When Grandma saw pictures like this, she shared with me the hard stories. Stories of struggles and just trying to get by. She would tear up when she said their milk cow was the only thing standing between her children living or dying of starvation. They never wasted a thing. Shoes were resoled at home because there wasn’t money for a cobbler. Clothes were sewn from flour sacks and mended and handed down. Grandma had a baby every two years till she nearly died after the last one and they saved her life with an emergency hysterectomy.

\n\n\n

It was right around this time when Grandma and PopPop managed to scrape enough money together to buy the farm that I still take care of. When they moved down off the hill into that house, Grandma said she felt like a queen in a castle! She didn’t have running water or an indoor bathroom for twenty more years. They had an old wringer washer with a hit and miss engine out on the back porch. My earliest memories are of Grandma carrying buckets of rainwater she heated on the stove and pouring it in the washer. 

\n\n\n

She used lye she made from ashes and mixed it with rendered fat from butchering to make soap that was used for everything. Wash was done once a week. You started with the delicates when the water was still clean and soft and you ended with work clothes. PopPop worked in the pipe yard on old oil and gas well pipe and parts. He was always sticky and stinky with black creosote and a hard day’s sweat when he got home. Those work clothes had to be boiled and scrubbed on a washboard by hand to get the most of the grease out of them. I remember they were always an army green or khaki color.

\n\n\n

Once the clothes were as clean as they were going to get, Grandma used the rinse water to scrub the floors of the house and the last bit was thrown out on the porch and worked with a broom to get what mud they could off the steps. It was a hard life she lived, working from sunup to sundown doing as much hard work as any man, then mending clothes and sewing on buttons at night after supper. 

\n\n\n

I look at that picture of my mom as a little girl, and I’m humbled. The “going back in time” I get to do at the farm at my age is a walk in the park compared to actually living the life they lived. You hear people say “It was a simpler time.” Simpler? Be careful what you wish for. Simpler in those day meant they didn’t have the time sucks we have now. They didn’t have TV and computers. They were lucky to see a newspaper or a magazine. They didn’t know what was happening in Asia or the Middle East or Africa unless a missionary happened to be traveling through trying to raise a little money for an orphanage somewhere. However, their lives consisted of hard work and more than their fair share of sadness. And fortunately, I come from the kind of people whose glasses were always full to overflowing and I heard of all the goodness of life.

\n\n\n

What are we giving our children’s children’s children to know about those who came before us? What are we handing down from our great grandparents’ days? What are we teaching them about long lost skills like growing our own food and preserving it or making our own clothes and tools? Part of the purpose of this blog is sharing the past along with the stories of the present. You’ve followed along in my grief journey after losing Mr. Virgo. You’ve been here for the adventures in the camper and traveling the country as a widow trying to heal my broken heart, one campfire at a time. You shared in my joy when I found love again with my best friend from high school and remarried. Interspersed with all these events are the stories of my roots. I share them with you here because many of you grew up with similar lives and they spark your own memories. Some of you couldn’t dream of living such a life and it’s like reading a history book. So, why do I share so much of myself and my family’s history?

\n\n\n

Because...one day, I’ll be dead and gone, and my grandchildren and their grandchildren’s children will read these stories and know from whence they came. I don’t have great material wealth to leave to my family...to the world. All I have are my experiences and my knowledge and my wisdom...the lessons I’ve learned along the way.

\n\n\n

I’m the storyteller.

\n\n\n

?

\n\n\n
\n

“Love should always make us tell the truth. Then we will grow in every way and be more like Christ, the head of the body. Christ holds it together and makes all of its parts work perfectly, as it grows and becomes strong because of love.”

\nEphesians 4:15-16 CEV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-12-18T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/12/18/day-be-careful-what-you.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Strong Women","West Virginia","The Farm","Comfort","Wisdom","Aging","Farm Life","Memories"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/12/05/day-another-sad-goodbye.html", "title": "Day 266: Another Sad Goodbye", "content_html": "\n
\"\"
\n\n\n

When Daughter #1 married in the summer of 1995, I had no idea what an integral part her new family would play in my life. Just five years after we met, these lovely people helped me through a very painful divorce and lifted me up from the fall. Then, years later when Mr. Virgo passed, they took me into their home and loved on me till I could stand up again. They nursed me when I was sick. They welcomed me with my campers and played host to countless “camping trips” in their driveway. They love my daughter the way I love their son. We are as close to being related as we can be without actually sharing DNA.

\n\n\n

We have always said, Sue & Ben live at the epicenter of the universe. Way early on, I felt a twinge of jealousy about that because I wanted MY house to be the center. It wasn’t long till I understood why theirs was and I’ve spent many a long, leisurely breakfast at their table...discussing the topics of the day. You always learn something sitting there over coffee. Ben underlines particularly interesting points from the articles in the morning paper and enjoys the intellectual discussions that ensue when he shares them.

\n\n\n

When Sue was diagnosed with breast cancer last year, I asked what I could do from here to help her.

\n\n\n

“Just chat with me every night. Tell me funny stories. I love your stories...they give me something to think about.”

\n\n\n

We have been chatting every single night since and I have to say, that has been one of the deepest experiences I’ve ever had. To watch her strength, courage, and determination has been admirable.

\n\n\n

One of the bonus features of my close relationship with Ben & Sue has been Grandma Lois. Born in the northeast corner of Colorado, Grandma was raised to be a strong woman, a hard worker, and she could do anything she set her mind to. I could go through the details of her accomplishments listed in her beautiful obituary, but I’d rather relate what she meant to me personally. 

\n\n\n

For many years, I only got to see Grandma Lois when she came to Denver to see the kids. But, finally she got to the age where she needed to live closer where someone could be there should she need a little extra support. She bought a small house around the corner from Ben & Sue. That’s when I got to spend more time with her. You never went to her house without being treated to a fresh batch of cookies and a cup of coffee. I often walked over to see her when I was visiting Colorado.

\n\n\n

Grandma Lois was widowed in 1996. She was so supportive of me when Mr. Virgo died. We had long talks and she shared her love freely, helping me through a difficult time with tender understanding while, still being the strong farm woman, kicking me in the butt when I needed it. Mr. FixIt and I went to her 90th Birthday Party last summer. She loved him and thought I’d found a real gem. Whenever we spoke on the phone, she asked about him. The other day, we were watching TV when my phone rang. I looked down and said, “It’s Grandma Lois!” Mr. FixIt lit up. This was an unexpected treat!

\n\n\n

“Hello, Lois! How are you???” I smiled into the camera.

\n\n\n

“Oh! It’s YOU!” she said with surprise. “I never know who I’m going to get with this thing. I just punch the buttons and hope for the best!” Grandma said with a deprecating laugh.

\n\n\n

We spoke for a good half hour, sharing stories about the kids. She wanted to know all about our garden and the canning and what we had been up to. I hated for the conversation to end. You know, in the way you hate them to end because you don’t know when...or IF...you’ll get the chance for another one. We always ended our conversations with professions of love for one another, which is the way it should be when you love someone.

\n\n\n

As it turns out, that was the last conversation I got to have with Grandma Lois. She recently came down with bilateral non-Covid pneumonia at the nursing home where she’s lived the last year. She passed in her sleep on December 1st at 5:00am. She was 91.

\n\n\n

“Little”, my younger granddaughter said this about her great grandmother. “Most people get to the Pearly Gates, knock on the door, and they’re let in. Not Grandma Lois! She rings the doorbell and runs!” I do believe she is right. But this time, Grandma was either too tired to run or she slipped on the step and fell.

\n\n\n

I will always be grateful to have known her and loved her...and to have been loved right back. We truly were family...and friends. I am so grateful to Sue for sharing her mom with me. She knew how much I missed my own mom. Grandma Lois gave us all many gifts...not the least was modeling her deep strength and solid faith to the rest of us. I will miss you greatly, dear one...and I have comfort knowing you no longer suffer. I’ll see you on the other side.

\n\n\n

?

\n\n\n
\n

“You will be afraid to climb up a hill or walk down a road. Your hair will turn as white as almond blossoms. You will feel lifeless and drag along like an old grasshopper. We each go to our eternal home, and the streets here are filled with those who mourn. The silver cord snaps, the golden bowl breaks; the water pitcher is smashed, and the pulley at the well is shattered. So our bodies return to the earth, and the life-giving breath returns to God.”

\nEcclesiastes 12:5-7 CEV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-12-05T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/12/05/day-another-sad-goodbye.html", "tags": ["Family","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Love","Widow","Memories"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/09/12/day-battling-west-virginia-vegetation.html", "title": "Day 178: Battling West Virginia Vegetation", "content_html": "\n
\"\"
\n\n\n

The area where we removed the biggest trees.

\n\n\n

Colorado has snow. West Virginia has dense foliage. Both are a result of moisture. Both are beautiful. And, both can be a king-sized pain in a horse’s patoot! We went out to the farm yesterday to do battle with the tough fall grass that grows in September. It’s so hard to cut. Then, instead of weed eating, I took the pole saw to several small trees and wild grape vines.

\n\n\n

The trunks of most of the trees were around an inch or so across, but there were a few that were around 3-4” and they were more cumbersome. You really have to stay on top of things around here or you soon have a veritable jungle surrounding you. The Rose of Sharon at the back corner of the house had grown in so close, you could hardly walk through there. That had to be trimmed back, as well as some of the branches still attached to the tree that fell. They were encroaching in the yard where I like to mow so they needed to go.

\n\n\n
\"\"
\n\n\n

The larger brush pile.

\n\n\n

Old blackberry canes, multi flora rose, wild grape vine, Virginia Creeper, sumac, pig weed, sycamore...all rapid growing and invasive. Of course, as soon as you get them cut, you have to haul them off to the brush pile or the grass will die where they lay. One tree was absolutely woven into the shrubbery with wild grape vines...just like weaving fabric. That one was a lot of work to get out and we had to chain it up to the tractor to pull it out of the road and into the yard where we could cut it up in smaller sections. I know I’m going to be sore today. For those of you who may not know what a pole saw is, it’s literally a small chainsaw on the end of a telescoping pole so you can reach low lying limbs without a ladder. Ours extends to about twelve feet so you’re trying to wield this thing around over your head and hold it steady while it chews through four or five inches of wood. It’s hard work, trust me.

\n\n\n
\"\"
\n\n\n

The smaller brush pile.

\n\n\n

I also ran a couple of loads of laundry while we were there, and we didn’t even leave our house till the bread was baked. We were supposed to go to the class picnic today, but with Covid and the new warnings to hunker down for the fall and winter, we just decided not to go. Some people say you can’t let fear keep you from living your life...we only get this one trip...make the most of it. My answer is, we are not living fearfully. We are living scientifically informed. Just wear the mask so we can get this over with. There...that’s my PSA for the day.

\n\n\n

These nights are “false fall”...a series of cool evenings that are great for sleeping in the camper with the windows open. There are so many who cannot open their windows because of the smoke. We are blessed here. Lots of moisture. Lots of vegetation. Lots of work...but so worth it!

\n\n\n

❤️

\n\n\n
\n

“And God said, “Let the earth sprout vegetation, plants yielding seed, and fruit trees bearing fruit in which is their seed, each according to its kind, on the earth.” And it was so. The earth brought forth vegetation, plants yielding seed according to their own kinds, and trees bearing fruit in which is their seed, each according to its kind. And God saw that it was good.”

\nGenesis 1:11-12 ESV\n
\n\n\n

#HardWork, #Vegetation, #WestVirginia

\n\n", "date_published": "2020-09-12T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/09/12/day-battling-west-virginia-vegetation.html", "tags": ["Strong Women","Positive Energy","West Virginia","The Farm","Gratitude","Farm Life","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/08/28/day-the-evening-and-the.html", "title": "Day 163: The Evening and the Morning", "content_html": "\n
\"\"
\n\n\n

This is the time of year when I look back and remember long, leisurely days of knitting in front of the fire...a mug of tea, fuzzy slippers, and snow falling gently outside the window. And I wonder... “Will we ever get back to those days again?” 

\n\n\n

I’m sure we will...eventually. At least we didn’t have to wrangle that drain snake yesterday. I am not sure I had another day in me to mess with that thing and still walk upright. I hit the ground running yesterday. I mixed up some bread dough and fed the starter again. I set it aside in the fridge for the time being. It will grow slower and actually develop a nicer flavor if you do that from time to time. It saves you from having to feed it every day.

\n\n\n
\n\n\n

I turned the bread dough every thirty minutes. You don’t knead sourdough bread...you lift and fold the dough every thirty minutes for about three or four hours to incorporate and support the rise from the wild yeasts. They aren’t as strong as commercial yeast. In between the turns, I emptied the dehydrator and used the kitchen shears to cut the dehydrated tomatoes into julienne strips. Then I packed them into sterilized jars and covered them with olive oil to preserve them. A whole bucket of tomatoes shrank down to two pint jars...but oh, the flavor that is packed into those two little jars will add a little sunshine to dishes in the coming year. They can’t be beat!

\n\n\n
\"\"
\n\n\n

Once the tomatoes were done, I turned my attention to the smoked pork that was still warming in crockpots. I ran the jars through the dishwasher earlier and they were still steaming hot. I packed the jars, put in a teaspoon of pickling salt and topped it off with hot broth, sealed the jar, and set them one at a time in the simmering water of the pressure canner. Once filled, I placed the lid on and let the water boil without the pressure cock. I placed it on 10 pounds and as soon as it jiggled, I set the timer for ninety minutes. 

\n\n\n

By then, the bread dough was ready to be worked and formed into two round loaves. Once they were wrapped in flour sack dishtowels and placed in crocks, I took them out to the refrigerator in the garage to rise overnight and I’ll bake them this morning. 

\n\n\n

The timer went off for the canner and I turned off the heat. Once the canner cooled and the pressure was equalized, I removed the pressure cock and the lid and let the canner rest for another thirty minutes to acclimate. Two pork picnics produced another seven quarts of smoked pulled pork that’s unbelievably good. I had two quarts and two pints of broth left over that I used in the jars of pork. I didn’t want to throw that way, so as soon as the canner was emptied, I processed them for thirty minutes. Now, when I smoke pork the next time, my broth will be ready made.

\n\n\n

When I made that vegetable beef soup in the spring, I couldn’t find the pressure canner so I ended up freezing it. I’ve decided to bring it in from the freezer in the garage and cook it up again and can it this time. I have a huge tin of mixed veggies I want to put in it. I have enough tomatoes ready to make a batch of spaghetti sauce, too. That should just about finish up my available canning jars.

\n\n\n

I love looking over the bounty I’ve created for our winter eating. These things will be so nice to have when that snowed-in leisure time returns and I can have a day of knitting in front of the fire. It sounds delightful right about now, doesn’t it?

\n\n\n

❤️

\n\n\n
\n

“Try your best to live quietly, to mind your own business, and to work hard, just as we taught you to do. Then you will be respected by people who are not followers of the Lord, and you won't have to depend on anyone.”

\n1 Thessalonians 4:11-12 CEV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-08-28T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/08/28/day-the-evening-and-the.html", "tags": ["Strong Women","Positive Energy","West Virginia","Gratitude","Farm Life"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/08/27/day-if-at-first-you.html", "title": "Day 162: If at First You Don’t Succeed...", "content_html": "\n
\"\"
\n\n\n

Round three of the “snaking the drain” saga. I had some things to do first. Run to the nearby Piggly Wiggly and pick up the pork picnics I ordered. Make the pork rub. Rub the pork and get it in the smoker. Clean and prepare a bucket of Roma tomatoes and load the dehydrator. Feed the sourdough starter and make a batch of sourdough pancakes with the discard. Clean up the kitchen. THEN I could go downstairs and help Mr. FixIt.

\n\n\n

We wanted to run the snake down that drain at least once to make sure it was open. We painted a line on the cable the first day to indicate where the point of resistance was. Tuesday we could get all the way down...fifty feet. But, for some reason, yesterday the cable would not feed beyond that point. We fussed with it...pulled it back...sent it down again...same thing.

\n\n\n

That’s when we noticed the cable was all jammed up in the drum. We turned everything off and unplugged the unit for safety, then manually pulled the cable all the way out. Easy peasy. However...as soon as we tried to run it back in, the cable would just flip around and twist on itself. I straightened that thing our three times...no easy feat. We brainstormed different ways to get that cable to go back into the drum but we came up with blanks.

\n\n\n

Then, Mr. FixIt said, “We COULD go read the instruction manual.” This, from the man who already read the manual three days ago so I didn’t bother reading it. I can’t say a word, though. I didn’t think of reading the directions either. I went in and read the instructions and within two minutes, I went back downstairs and stuffed that cable in manually. Bingo!

\n\n\n

We ran the snake down one more time and it went the entire fifty feet with no resistance. The cat snuck in the basement...again. She bit Mr. FixIt when he picked her up...again. She’s a pistol. It was getting to be a lot of fun at our house and I was hangry. *sigh*

\n\n\n

I heated up pizza for supper. I couldn’t believe it was 5:00 already. The pork came out of the smoker at dark and went in the crockpots to slow cook overnight. I used Diet Pepsi this time for the broth. The tomatoes are dehydrating nicely but they take a while here in West Virginia. We had an inch and a half of rain on Tuesday so the sky was hazy with humidity and that will slow the process. 

\n\n\n
\n\n\n

I fed the sourdough starter before I headed in to write so I can start the bread this morning. I checked on the sauerkraut and it’s coming along...bubbling and fermenting well. I’ll also be canning this smoked pork and putting the dehydrated tomatoes in olive oil to preserve them. I cannot believe it’s Thursday already...time is just getting away from me. 

\n\n\n

I think I’m taking tomorrow off!

\n\n\n

❤️

\n\n\n
\n

“Hard work is worthwhile, but empty talk will make you poor.”

\nProverbs 14:23 CEV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-08-27T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/08/27/day-if-at-first-you.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","West Virginia","Comfort","Farm Life"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/08/25/day-snaking-a-drain-and.html", "title": "Day 160: Snaking a Drain and Praising Jesus", "content_html": "\n
\"\"
\n\n\n

Have you ever run a drain snake? I’m not talking about those little hand crank jobs that you get the hair clog out from under your sink. No...I’m talking about that big ol’ mama honkin’ electric job like a plumber uses. We have a drain at the bottom of the back staircase down into the basement that gets clogged with roots and the like and really should be snaked out once a year. Well...it hasn’t been done for three years and this spring we had a mess on our hands.

\n\n\n

When the drain gets clogged, the water backs up and comes in our basement. When this happens, we have to take the carpet cleaner and suck up the water. It’s a mess and king sized pain in the patoot. We decided to buy one of these snakes instead of rent them over and over and yesterday was our lucky day. We’ve had dry weather so before it got too hot, we got to work.

\n\n\n

I’ve never run one of these things, so I watched Mr. FixIt closely. There is a cable with blades on the end. There is a power switch that starts the cable to turning. Then you feed the cable down into the drain. In our case, it has to go about fifteen feet then makes a hard turn so you have to navigate the blades through there. Then, the cable is fifty feet long. The object is to get all that cable down in there to chew up any roots and clear out the drain.

\n\n\n

We had to run it down and pull it back several times to remove roots from the blades. It’s really hard on your back, so I finally took over and did the feeding. The last two times we put it down, it hit snags and I could not seem to get it to go past that point. By then the sun was overhead and it was getting really hot so we gave up on it for the day.

\n\n\n

I love to learn how to do new things. I love learning how to be self sufficient...not that I’m thinking I’ll have to be any time soon, but experience has taught me it is best to know how to do what needs to be done. We’ll get back to it today. I picked another pan of tomatoes last evening so I have enough to can some. I ordered more pork picnic roasts to smoke and can. And, it’s just about time to bake bread again. We found more canning jars in the basement so I’m not as short as I thought I was. And, there’s a dehydrator so I think I’m going to try drying some of the Roma tomatoes and pack them in olive oil to preserve them.

\n\n\n

This is a beautiful time to be alive...if you LOOK for the beauty. It’s still out there!

\n\n\n

❤️

\n\n\n
\n

“God makes everything happen at the right time. Yet none of us can ever fully understand all he has done, and he puts questions in our minds about the past and the future. I know the best thing we can do is to always enjoy life, because God's gift to us is the happiness we get from our food and drink and from the work we do.”

\nEcclesiastes 3:11-13 CEV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-08-25T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/08/25/day-snaking-a-drain-and.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Wisdom","Farm Life","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/08/23/day-burning-down-my-memories.html", "title": "Day 158: Burning Down My Memories", "content_html": "\n
\"\"
\n\n\n

I was a new widow when I bought my first camper. A little 16’ job with everything I needed. I miss that little camper...the original TOW-Wanda. I still regret trading her in for the big behemoth I own now, but...water under the bridge, you know.

\n\n\n

I always wanted a camper although I had never pulled one. I camped in a tent a couple of times and once drove cross country in an old VW Poptop Van, but actually having my own camper eluded me. 

\n\n\n

I tried to get Hubby #2 to buy one and he refused. It never occurred to me to go out and buy one myself. I wasn’t brave enough to do such a thing back then. But Mr. Virgo understood my wanderlust and, while not an avid camper himself, was anxious to see that I got to do all the fun things I wanted.

\n\n\n

When he died suddenly while we were looking at the camper for our retirement, I thought my dreams would end there. But, something stirred within me almost from the beginning of widowhood. I was determined to have that camper and found a way to make it work.

\n\n\n

Little TOW-Wanda came into my life just a few weeks after the funeral. I carefully stocked her and as soon as the spring snows melted, I was off on The Grand Adventure through the wilderness and backroads of Colorado by myself.

\n\n\n

I am so glad there were no forest fires to speak of that summer, or I might have lost the heart for this fun way of life. I traveled a circle clear around the state at least twice in those three months. One particularly beautiful stretch was heading west on Colorado Route 14 through Poudre Canyon. I hadn’t been through there since the High Park Fire of 2012 the year before. It was devastating to see the blackened vegetation...the trees standing like gnarled fingers pointing to the sky.

\n\n\n

I drove to the far west end where the fire had spared the canyon. I found an empty campsite right on the edge of the Cache la Poudre River and backed in. It was early in the camping season. The kids were still in school, and I had just about every campground I went to all to myself. 

\n\n\n

I had camped in Rocky Mountain National Park for a few days prior to my arrival in Poudre Canyon. I saw wildlife galore on that trip...elk, deer, turkey, mink, ermine, marmot, Bald Eagles, Great Horned Owls, moose, coyotes. Everything except a bear. The last morning at this campsite, I talked with Mr. Virgo...as I did most mornings. I thanked him for bringing all the beautiful animals to enjoy...I really appreciated them. But, could he please just bring me at least one bear???

\n\n\n

I packed up and headed west on Colorado 14 and began the long, steady climb up to Cameron Pass. By the time I got to Joe Wright Reservoir, my engine was getting a little hot. I decided to pull in the parking area and gaze at the still frozen water. Signs of spring were coming to the high country as the fresh green leaves were popping out on the aspen trees and the undergrowth was beginning to show signs of life. Finally, when the engine and transmission were cooled, I took off to the tip top of the pass.

\n\n\n

I had just crested the pass at 10, 249’ and began the slow descent down when I noticed the most odd thing. Someone had placed a huge statue of a bear, right along the highway where it makes a sharp bend to the right. I slowed down to look at it, then realized...to my sheer delight...it was a real, live bear! Standing on the edge of the road, the sheer drop off behind him. I stopped the truck and stared. Thank God there wasn’t someone coming along behind me! I tried to snap a photo of the bear, but the memory was full on my phone and by the time I reached for my digital camera, it had disappeared over the edge. I realized that memory was for me alone. 

\n\n\n

I don’t believe I have seen another bear in the wilds of Colorado since that one magical morning on Cameron Pass. And now...Cameron Pass is burning, as is much of Colorado and points west. Climate change has brought increasing drought and prevailing winds so the fires continue to become worse and worse.

\n\n\n

I don’t know when, or if, I will ever have the opportunity to go on an adventure like that again. But I must say...the memories of those three months pulling my camper through the majestic Rocky Mountains have never faded and remind me of God’s reckless love for me...to grace me with these memories that still fill my heart.

\n\n\n

❤️

\n\n\n
\n

“God is the one who rules the whole earth, and we that live here are merely insects. He spread out the heavens like a curtain or an open tent.”

\nIsaiah 40:22 CEV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-08-23T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/08/23/day-burning-down-my-memories.html", "tags": ["Travel","Uplifting Stories","Strong Women","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","The Grand Adventure","God","Wisdom","Peaceful Moments","Widow","Road Trip"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/07/29/day-the-many-faces-of.html", "title": "Day 133: The Many Faces of Grief", "content_html": "\n
\"\"
\n\n\n

I received a phone call yesterday from my baby cousin. She was the one who lived far away and came to visit us several times when we were growing up. She’s had her hands full...caring for her mom, my favorite auntie. And for her husband, who has been ill for quite some time. They are young...not quite sixty. I remember the first time I got to see her. She couldn’t quite walk and my aunt had her dressed in the sweetest little outfit with a matching coat. Her little curls stuck out from under the edges of the matching bonnet.

\n\n\n

We were all smitten with our “Trinket”, as Grandma called her. She was like a china doll and we didn’t even mind that Grandma paid all her attention to this little one. We knew she was special. Anyway...she called yesterday. Her beloved husband passed in his sleep Sunday night. My heart breaks for her because I know what she is going through. I know what she has ahead of her. I pray for her comfort and peace. I know she is very strong and capable and she will get through this. I just hate it for her.

\n\n\n

When I look back at pictures of us all those many years ago, we had no idea what was going to happen to us in our lives. She is now the third of us cousins to lose a spouse. Grandma lost her only love when she was sixty-five. She showed us girls how to live through that with strength and dignity and courage.

\n\n\n

There are so many faces of grief. It isn’t just the death of a person that grieves us. We can feel just as deep grief whether the source is a person, place, or thing. I’ve been grieving a potential loss the last couple of years knowing my beloved family farm will not always be “mine”. My uncle owns it and he is aging now. He cannot keep coming to fix it or put the money into it forever, so the time will come. 

\n\n\n

I was grieving that more this week since the tree came down and the house needed fixing. It made the “eventuality” come closer to the forefront. I have to admit, I became distraught over it. Then “Trinket” lost her husband and God whispered...”All things must come to an end and come Home to me.” 

\n\n\n

We can make all the plans we want. We can have dreams and adventures. And in the end, our best gift is the memories we made with the time we were given. I’ve been having a lot of fun with this baking and gardening and canning. And, as soon as that settles down, my focus is back on writing. I’m going to write the story of...The Farm: A Story of Love and Land. I’ll gather pictures and stories from everyone and we’ll have a book for the family to read and remember. Then we’ll have a grand reunion and say a proper goodbye to this home of my heart. 

\n\n\n

I have no idea how much time I have exactly for this project, but I’m giving myself a year. That should be plenty. And it will help ease my dependence on the old house. Someday she will not be ours...she will belong to another family. But, she will always and forever be the home of my heart.

\n\n\n

❤️

\n\n\n
\n

“My people will live in peaceful dwelling places, in secure homes, in undisturbed places of rest. Though hail flattens the forest and the city is leveled completely, how blessed you will be, sowing your seed by every stream, and letting your cattle and donkeys range free.”

\nIsaiah 32:18-20 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-07-29T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/07/29/day-the-many-faces-of.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","West Virginia","The Farm","Growth","Gratitude","Wisdom","Choices","Change","Farm Life","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/07/02/day-the-motherdaughter-dancetake.html", "title": "Day 107: The Mother-Daughter Dance...Take 2", "content_html": "\n
\"\"
1992
\n\n\n

On this day last year, I arrived in Colorado to spend a month with my kids and grandkids and to visit my brother. We were preparing for my younger daughter’s wedding and there were lots of fun activities and visits planned. I wrote on July 2, 2019 about the dance mothers and daughters do and how my relationships with my daughters have evolved and healed over the years.

\n\n\n

Yesterday, after a very full and busy afternoon, I sat by the pool and had a long video chat with Daughter #1. We no sooner hung up when Daughter #2 called and she and I also had a long visit. It seems last year was a turning point in our relationship. We bonded over a family event. Then, as Covid struck, they started contacting me more and more often. For the first time in a long time, I am enjoying a mutually loving and supportive mother-daughter relationship with both of my girls and I couldn’t be happier.

\n\n\n

They are so different which is made more noticeable by their sixteen year age difference. Daughter #1 reminded me her oldest is the same age she was when we had Daughter #2. I laughed and said, “Yeah...it’s a different ballgame now, isn’t it?” It’s so wonderful to have them at an age where they can look back and say, “Ahhhhh....so THAT’S what was going on with Mom back then!” Having only two children sixteen years apart was....challenging, to say the least.

\n\n\n

Anyway, when I got off the phone with them, my heart was melting and soaring into the stratosphere at the same time. I miss them dreadfully and we talked about that. About how the times have changed and we all have to be responsible adults and put off our visit this summer. This will be the first year I can remember that I haven’t spent time with them. 

\n\n\n

And...we’ve never felt closer. It’s funny what the Covid Crisis has accomplished that all these years of mothering couldn’t. It’s the perfect storm...in a very, very good way.

\n\n\n

To read last year’s post, follow this link: https://www.marshmallowranch.com/the-mother-daughter-dance/

\n\n\n

❤️

\n\n\n
\n

“Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.”

\nProverbs 22:6 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-07-02T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/07/02/day-the-motherdaughter-dancetake.html", "tags": ["Family","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Peace"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/06/28/day-duty-a-dip-and.html", "title": "Day 103: Duty, a Dip, and Date Night", "content_html": "\n
\"\"
\n\n\n

After my morning coffee, Mr. FixIt was on the phone when I walked by, blew him a kiss, and went out to mow. It was pretty hot out there, but I have learned how to mow with one hand and hold a huge golf umbrella with the other. I have to wear a mask because of all the allergens that get stirred up, so it’s kind of stuffy and sticky out there. I’ve figured out how to hold the umbrella just right to catch any hint of a breeze which makes the chore so much easier.

\n\n\n

I was just about finished with the two big fields when I saw my sweetheart come out and start with the push mower. He mowed around the areas I couldn’t reach with the big riding mower. Then he got the weed eater out and trimmed around the yard as I took up the push mower inside the fenced yard. I kept one eye on my work and the other to make sure Mr. FixIt didn’t overdo in the heat, but he did great. It was a good day. 

\n\n\n

He feels bad when he can’t do everything he did before, but he is gaining his strength and the confidence that comes with realizing he’s improving. I was talking with my cousin the other day. She asked how I was holding up. I told her I was doing great. I’m keeping really busy and that occupies my mind so it doesn’t go places it doesn’t need to go. Listen, I’d be lying if I said none of this has affected me. I would surely have loved having fifteen years of the fun stuff before we have to deal with the not so fun stuff of health issues. But, that’s not what happens in real life. Not when you marry at our age. The truth is, it doesn’t make a bit of difference if we were married a week or a year or two decades...you do what you need to do when circumstances change. It’s in the vows we took that day in our field...”to have and to hold, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, till death I do part.” It is our sworn duty.

\n\n\n

My duty is to do the things Mr. FixIt can’t right now. Just as he would do if the roles were reversed. One can whine about it. Or one can put on the big girl panties and get the job done. It’s a choice. I always choose joy and love. I mowed, watered the garden, and tied up the tomato plants. Easy peasy.

\n\n\n

When we were finished with the hot and dusty work in the yard, we took a refreshing dip in the pool. It’s times like that when I can totally justify the extra work and expense the pool entails. We cleaned and skimmed and walked around while we talked and enjoyed a perfectly beautiful evening. I swam up to my man and said,

\n\n\n

“Hey...how would you like to buy me dinner?”

\n\n\n

He lit up like a Christmas tree. We decided on Italian, placed our order, then drove to town. As we were picking up our food, the leaden skies opened up into a downpour. We drove across the river and found a lovely parking spot where we could watch the boat traffic. We had our picnic in the rain...inside the truck. It seems to do that every date night, but it doesn’t dampen our enthusiasm.

\n\n\n

We got home just before dark and walked around a bit, checking out the garden and the fruit trees. We don’t have a single pear this year. There were late frosts this spring and that took care of any hopes of a bountiful harvest like last year. We have onions and zucchini and crook neck squash setting on and several tomatoes are showing. There are teeny, tiny peppers starting to grow and the pumpkin plants are vining. I love watching a garden grow and this year I’m actually going to be here to enjoy it.

\n\n\n

We came in and I fed my sourdough starter in preparation for baking today. As I was settling in to write this, I thought...”How many times and how many ways can I tell them I’m mowing and baking bread?” Spoiler alert: Many, many times! 

\n\n\n

❤️

\n\n\n
\n

““But ask the animals, and they will teach you, or the birds in the sky, and they will tell you; or speak to the earth, and it will teach you, or let the fish in the sea inform you. Which of all these does not know that the hand of the Lord has done this? In his hand is the life of every creature and the breath of all mankind. Does not the ear test words as the tongue tastes food? Is not wisdom found among the aged? Does not long life bring understanding?”

\nJob 12:7-12 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-06-28T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/06/28/day-duty-a-dip-and.html", "tags": ["Family","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","West Virginia","Love","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/05/10/day-a-different-kind-of.html", "title": "Day 55: A Different Kind of Mother’s Day!", "content_html": "\n
\"\"
\n\n\n

As I sat at my keyboard last night, I looked for pictures of my mom and thought of all the Mother’s Days we had together. Really...very few. Once I left home to seek my fortunes, I am not sure we ever got to see each other on Mother’s Day. I always came home in the summer months when the kids were off of school. But I always called her and sent her a card and flowers. 

\n\n\n

I keep my pictures of Mom in an album on my iPad marked “”Family”. That way, when I get lonesome for them, they’re all in one place. I thought of all the sad and sentimental things I could say about my mom and how much I miss her. But, the truth is...even though I miss her desperately right now...I would NEVER want her to have had to experience what’s going on in the world. All the anger and divisiveness and ugliness would have upset her greatly. She had such a tender heart. And this virus would have worried her to death. I am much more peaceful knowing she is with her family and with Jesus.

\n\n\n

My eyes scanned the photos and lingered on my own children...from when they were littles to when they had littles of their own. These girls made me a mom. I wasn’t always very good at it. I made huge mistakes and it broke my heart that I let them down. So many years were lost to depression when I just couldn’t seem to connect with them as they needed. I’ve spent much of the last twenty years trying to fix that. Trying to be a better mom. Trying to create new and better memories.

\n\n\n

Since I moved back to my home state, I have returned to Colorado every summer to see the girls and spend time with my grandchildren. Then, the pandemic hit and I am not at all sure I’ll get to go back this year. There was a time when I would have focused on that loss and that’s all I’d see. Things are different now. Now I see where God is taking this situation and turning it for good.

\n\n\n

My girls and I have communicated more since the Stay at Home orders came out than we ever have. There are lots of phone calls and texts, sharing pictures, video chats. When I watch their Facebook feeds, I see them reaching back for THEIR comforting touchstones and I see myself there. In the raised bed gardens. In the baking and making and growing. In the phone calls asking for advice. It has warmed my heart.

\n\n\n

In the last two months, during this lockdown, I have finally realized...I made a difference in my kids’ lives. The things I taught them, stuck with them. And now, they are using those gifts I gave them to comfort themselves and their families. This means more to me than any trinket they could give me. It doesn’t get much better than this. 

\n\n\n

Mr. FixIt told me last night he didn’t get me anything for Mother’s Day because shopping isn’t the same. And I told him not to buy me flowers. I smiled and said, “I have everything I need for Mother’s Day. I have a great big blended family that gives me great joy.” Besides, I’d rather have kitchen stuff than flowers that wither and die.

\n\n\n

I hope you have a wonderful Mother’s Day. And if you are actively grieving, I hope you find some moments of peace and comfort with your memories of your loved one. 

\n\n\n

❤️

\n\n\n
\n

“Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: “Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.””

\nProverbs 31:25-29 ESV\n
\n\n\n

#MothersDay, #Children, #Holiday

\n\n", "date_published": "2020-05-10T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/05/10/day-a-different-kind-of.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Holiday","Forgiveness","Aging","Presence","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/04/19/day-we-are-in-the.html", "title": "Day 34: We Are in the Same Storm...NOT the Same Boat", "content_html": "\n
\"\"
We are all caught in the same storm...but not in the same boat.
\n\n\n

Let me preface this by stating this is not an original thought. I mean, really...IS there such a thing anymore? No, I read something yesterday on Facebook that someone forwarded. It was attributed to an “Unknown Author” so, who knows? If you wrote it or know for certain who did, let me know so I can give credit where credit is due. 

\n\n\n

The premise of the post was the pandemic and where we factor in it. I’m sure we all have read “We are in the same boat!” That couldn’t be further from the truth. “We’ll get through this together!” Oh, that I truly pray for. But in the same boat? Nope. We’re in the same storm. And even that is somewhat different. The storm in Washington state and Florida and New York and Texas and New Orleans is far different than Montana and Wyoming and North Dakota and even here in West Virginia. 

\n\n\n

The only thing that is absolute is, we are facing the same enemy...Covid-19. That’s the storm we are collectively facing. For some, it’s hardly a blip on the radar screen. For others, it’s a Class V Hurricane. To say we are all in the same boat is totally inaccurate. We are all in our own boats...sailing along as best we can with what’s being thrown our way. It’s a crapshoot where the dice will land when they're tossed our way.

\n\n\n

Some of us are riding this wave with life vests out the wazoo. Money in the bank, food in the larder, a mortgage free home. It’s pretty much business as usual with a little more time at home than we’re used to. Maybe we don’t get the choicest cut of meat or they were out of our favorite wine. Maybe our biggest challenge is getting oh so bored with the menu at Chez Home Kitchen or we’ve gone through our DVR’s backlog of “must see” shows we always wanted to catch up on.

\n\n\n

Others have always been a paycheck away from hunger or homelessness. We’ve got parents teaching their children through online learning on top of working their own 10-12 hour day online...if we’re lucky enough to have a job, period. Some of us don’t have sweet and tender spouses ready to be there to back us up in our darkest time of need. Some of us have suffered abuse at night but at least had those hours on the job as a way to escape the blows for a while. Some of our children are facing hunger now more than ever...maybe for the first time in their little lives. Maybe the weight of the crises between moms and dad is spilling over and the littles are catching the brunt of it in ways we cannot imagine.

\n\n\n

We are NOT in the same boat. The single mom with three kids that’s trying to figure out how to keep her family together is not the same as the retired couple sipping their martini and watching the evening news together in their neat and tidy mansion on the 9th hole of the local country club. 

\n\n\n

We are NOT in the same boat. The dad who works three jobs to put food on the table and finds himself standing in a food bank line for 10 hours to receive a sack of groceries the likes of which others can pick up at the corner market without a second thought. 

\n\n\n

We are NOT in the same boat. Blacks and Latinos are dying in far greater numbers simply because their demographic puts them at a higher risk for disease.

\n\n\n

We ARE, however, in the same storm...more or less. We are facing a formidable foe. I pray we get through this together. But some of us won’t. Many of us won’t. 

\n\n\n

We are seeing exactly what I told you we would see. I told you, if the numbers didn’t turn out to be the mega-catastrophic death tolls originally predicted, we would have people screaming that we over-reacted. I told you this would happen if the curve flattened but it’s not because we over-reacted. It’s because the safety measures we put in place did their jobs. This debate will rage for months...could more lives have been saved if we started earlier? Did we do enough? Did we do too much? Where and when did the virus actually start? Since we didn’t have enough tests, what is the actually number of patients infected? 

\n\n\n

Now we are seeing protests of the shutdown and some officials are easing restrictions in what others see as too soon and with reckless abandon. Just the other day I wrote a post about gaslighting and we are seeing more and more of that, too. Changes will come at a dizzying speed and it’s going to be hard to keep up. Throw a presidential election in the mix and...holy cats...what a mess.

\n\n\n

It’s not all gloom and doom, though. Look at how folks are rallying around the people on the front lines. Look at how people are contributing and volunteering and organizing. As Mrs. Rogers told her little boy...”Look for the helpers.” They're out there and they are doing good things. There are positive things coming from this. People are searching out ways to be of service.

\n\n\n

If you’re still having trouble finding a ray of hope, try this. There wasn’t a single school shooting in all of March 2020...the first March since 2002 to not see one.

\n\n\n

That is a sobering thought.

\n\n\n

Maybe, just maybe....maybe we don’t WANT to go back to normal. 

\n\n\n

Maybe this is our chance to change. This is our do-over.

\n\n\n

I had to do it after Mr. Virgo died. I had to create a whole new normal. A whole new world. A whole new identity. Heck, if I...in all my messy dysfunction...could work with God and create something as beautiful as the life I’m living, anything is possible. 

\n\n\n

Anything.

\n\n\n

❤️

\n\n\n
\n

““Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.”

\nIsaiah 43:18-19 ESV\n
\n\n\n

#StartingOver, #Healing, #Coronavirus

\n\n", "date_published": "2020-04-19T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/04/19/day-we-are-in-the.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Growth","New Ideas","God","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Humbled","Choices","Change","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/04/11/day-here-chick-chick-chick.html", "title": "Day 26: Here Chick, Chick, Chick", "content_html": "\n
\"\"
My friend Aimee bought tiaras for her chicks...because that’s just the kind of farm princess she is!
\n\n\n

All my life, I’ve wanted to have chickens. I remember chickens when I was a little girl. I used to think they were out at Grandma’s farm, but my Aunt Peeps says she never had them. Interestingly, Aunt Peeps got her nickname from a book about a little chick that went “Peep, Peep, Peep!” She had that book memorized when she was a toddler and my PopPop always called her Peeps and it stuck all these many years later.

\n\n\n

When Hubby #2 finished residency and joined a medical practice, our first house was on two acres out a two lane blacktop on the way to the ski area. We boarded horses and had a big garden that was really not much more than a salad bar for the deer and raccoons. I really wanted chickens but we lived in a subdivision with covenants. The developer of the property said we could have them if the neighbors agreed. All but one did, so I couldn’t get them. 

\n\n\n

My best friend had chickens at her house. She also had ducks. She lived in town and was not allowed to have roosters. The chicks were sexed and they assured her there were no roosters. Needless to say, we found out that was pretty meaningless when they became adolescents and started crowing. She tried every one she knew to give the roosters away and finally decided we would just butcher them and freeze the meat.

\n\n\n

This was a really sound idea, except for two things. They were fancies and by the time they were plucked and cleaned, they weren’t any bigger than a pigeon. And....you never EVER butcher birds you have named. I do believe my friend is still traumatized and that was over thirty years ago.

\n\n\n

No situation ever presented itself where I could have chickens till I moved back to West Virginia and lived out on the farm. I was just at the point where I was considering getting some then I ran into Mr. FixIt and we started dating and traveling so chickens were put on the back burner...so to speak.

\n\n\n

I have considered having chicks here at the Ponderosa, but again...travel gets in the way. I always go to Colorado in the summer to see the kids. But this year, I’m not sure I’m going to get to. Maybe this is my year. Or, maybe I’m past it. I don’t know. I had to share this picture with you, though. My friend Aimee is who I want to be when I grow up. She is an animal magnet and has some baby chicks this spring. Aimee is a free spirit, hippy mama, earth mother, gypsy farmer...she’s artistic and beautiful and colorful, to put it mildly. So...Aimee did what Aimee does.

\n\n\n

She bought tiaras for her chicks. They’ll fit right in with Daisy the dog who wears a pearl necklace instead of a collar and Gypsy the guard pony that protects the goats from the coyotes and John Boy, the rescued boxer/mastiff mix that cost them about a gazillion dollars in vet bills. I’ll tell you what....those are some lucky chicks right there!

\n\n\n

❤️

\n\n\n
\n

“He gives food to every creature. His love endures forever.”

\nPsalms 136:25 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-04-11T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/04/11/day-here-chick-chick-chick.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Strong Women","Positive Energy","The Farm","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/03/19/day-three-expect-the-unexpected.html", "title": "Day Three: Expect the Unexpected", "content_html": "\n
\"\"
First, you remove the spare tire from under the bed of the truck.
\n\n\n

We picked up my truck from the mechanic on Tuesday. It was in the shop for ten days but it was fixed and didn’t cost an arm or leg. After breakfast yesterday and a quick update on the news, we decided to drive out to the farm for a little while. On our way, we were just getting ready to cross a bridge when three things happened...I looked ahead to the intersection to make sure no one was stopped, I glanced to my left at the empty campground someone set up just before the oil and gas business left town, and I caught a glimpse of a vehicle passing me in the opposite direction. I turned back to comment to Mr. FixIt that it was a shame that man didn’t set up the campground earlier when he could have made some money on it. Just then, we heard loud banging on the outside of the driver’s side of the truck and the clang of metal on the road. 

\n\n\n

I looked in the rear view mirror in time to see what looked like a four foot section of rebar go flying up behind my truck with one last smack on the side. It skittered down the road and I was so relieved to see there was no one driving right behind me. Immediately, the rear driver’s side tire started hissing air as I crossed the bridge and pulled into a convenience store parking lot.

\n\n\n

Sure enough, the tire was giving off it’s final breath and the side of my truck looked like someone took a tire iron to it. It took a few moments to shake off the shock and try to figure out what happened. The best thing I can come up with is something fell off the truck that passed us and I ran over it. I didn’t see anything in the road before, but I was looking ahead and to my left so obviously I missed it.

\n\n\n

Yes...I have AAA. But, you have to remember, we live in a town of a couple hundred people, we are in the midst of a national emergency, and it was fixin’ to rain. I didn’t really feel like we needed to call for AAA. That’s for times when Mr. FixIt isn’t around.

\n\n\n
\"\"
I set the jack up under the axle.
\n\n\n

The first thing we had to do was get the jack out of the truck. Well, actually...the first thing we had to do was figure out where the jack is STORED in the truck. Trust me, it wasn’t apparent but we looked it up on YouTube (thank GOD we weren’t out of cell range yet...five to ten more minutes and we would have been.) Unfortunately, I STILL haven’t gotten around to emptying that truck of all my camping gear. I know...I figured if I just left it in there, sooner or later it would be camping time again, right?

\n\n\n

I took stuff out of the back seat of the truck and we finally figured out how to get the jack out. I asked Mr. FixIt to let me change the tire so I would remember how to do it. That was one of the things my dad taught me when I was sixteen and I’ve probably only changed two tires my whole life. I wanted to know I could do it alone if necessary...and Mr. FixIt is wonderfully supportive in that.

\n\n\n
\"\"
I jacked the truck up till there was enough space under it to fit the inflated tire on.
\n\n\n

I cranked down the spare tire under the bed of the truck and got it out. Man, it is REALLY heavy. I couldn’t pick it up, but I could scoot it along the ground till it was where it needed to be. I put the jack in place under the axle and got the truck raised up. I got the lug nuts off and Mr. FixIt reminded me to place them in the lid of the box the jack came in so I wouldn’t misplace any. Then it came time to remove the tire.

\n\n\n

I pulled. I kicked, shoved, twisted, pulled, pried, pounded...nothing. That thing was frozen on there. A fellow came over and tried but he couldn’t make any headway either. Mr. FixIt tried...nothing. So, I gave in and called the guy from the garage where we picked up the truck on Tuesday because he just lives less than a mile from where we were. He came right down...with a sledge hammer. I told him I was really disappointed because I wanted to change it myself. He laughed and went to hand me the sledgehammer and we both laughed.

\n\n\n
\"\"
There was no way I could get that tire off by myself. Even the man who stopped to help and Mr. FixIt couldn’t budge it!
\n\n\n

“Nah...that’s ok. I’ll just hand this job over to you.”

\n\n\n

He got down under the truck and it took some pretty strong blows but it finally came loose. From that point, it wasn’t two minutes till the spare was on and the jack was out from under the truck. It took a little figuring, but we got the spare tire holder cranked back up under the truck, put everything back inside, and turned around. It wasn’t prudent to go out to the farm without a good spare. We stopped and filled the new tire with air and headed back home.

\n\n\n
\"\"
\n\n\n

A few phone calls and the claim, an appointment for the estimate, and a rental car were all lined up. A hot bubble bath and I was good to go!

\n\n\n

The enemy is pounding hard on all of us right now. But this was such an opportunity today. I got to refresh some skills I may need again down the road. I was in a safe place less than a mile from the help I ended up needing. I was fifty yards from the nearest air pump. My truck was drivable. I have a wonderful husband who supports my need for independence and courage. It reminded me of the worship song we sing in church.

\n\n\n

“You took what the enemy meant for evil, and You turned it for good...You turned it for good!”

\n\n\n

There are so many uncertainties right now and if we focus on that, things can seem so overwhelming. But as long as we are taking every precaution we can personally to stay safe, and we know we have God on our side, we can face anything that comes our way. Pray without ceasing for all of us. Be there for each other. Help in whatever way you possibly can while maintaining safety. And look for the opportunities this brings us...even if it’s just the opportunity to pray.

\n\n\n

It takes a lot more than a national emergency and a flat tire to get THIS Girl Camper down!!!

\n\n\n

❤️

\n\n\n
\n

“The God of peace will soon crush Satan under your feet. The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you.”

\nRomans 16:20 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-03-19T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/03/19/day-three-expect-the-unexpected.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","West Virginia","Courage","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/03/16/what-happens-if-nothing-happens.html", "title": "What Happens if Nothing Happens?", "content_html": "\n
\"\"
This is what most of our stores looked like this weekend. It won’t always be this way.
\n\n\n

We’ve been listening intently to the news. We’ve followed every story, listened to every nightmarish tale, seen and heard things we wish we’d never seen or heard. We’ve pillaged the stores in a way that would make a Viking proud. We’ve hoarded toilet paper, hand sanitizer, gloves, masks, and cleaners. Our pantries are stocked with everything from diapers to donuts. We’ve got every medicine available for every eventuality. The schools are closed. The stores are cutting back hours to give the staff enough time to restock. The hospitals are rationing supplies and making contingency plans for every possible scenario. And so...we wait.

\n\n\n

We are socially distancing ourselves. We are staying home...away from crowds and germs. We are binge watching every series on Netflix that sparks our interest. We are learning new skills. We are putting away food and reading. We are checking in on those who might need our help. We are watching church online or on television. We are reaching out with phone calls and texts and, dare I say...handwritten letters.

\n\n\n

And...we wait.

\n\n\n

And wait some more.

\n\n\n

What happens if...after we’ve waited and waited and sacrificed and been inconvenienced... What happens if...nothing happens? No big surge of disease. No drastic sudden influx of all these “hundreds of thousands of sick people?”

\n\n\n

I’ll tell you what SHOULD happen. We should breathe a HUGE sigh of relief because it means what we did...WORKED. It means we flattened the curve. It means we sacrificed our usual routines and made the most of it and we saved countless lives. 

\n\n\n

I know there will be a bunch of us who do that very thing. We’ll high five and say “Well done!” We’ll thank everyone in healthcare and the service industries. We will do our best to boost up the mom and pop business that took a hit from the shutdowns. We will praise our health officials who made difficult and unpopular decisions. And hopefully, we’ll remember to thank God for never leaving us in our darkest hours.

\n\n\n

If we have an ounce of forethought...a shred of decency...a touch of humanity we WON’T be that person who stands up and screams that it was all a hoax. That the whole thing was conjured up to throw an election or to make any one person or party look bad. That is petty. We must be better than that. 

\n\n\n

If we gain anything...just one tiny thing from this whole meshugas...it’s that we start looking for the humanity in each other again. We need to start finding love and kindness again. We need to remember...we may be different wings, but we’re flying the same bird here. Please, for the love of God...let’s turn something that’s potentially terrible into something that helps us see the divine in each other.

\n\n\n

Let’s let the legacy of the coronavirus be compassion.

\n\n\n

❤️

\n\n\n
\n

“Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.”

\nColossians 3:12-15 ESV\n
\n\n\n

\n\n", "date_published": "2020-03-16T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/03/16/what-happens-if-nothing-happens.html", "tags": ["Faith","Health","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","God","Wisdom","Courage","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/03/09/sweet-caroline.html", "title": "Sweet Caroline", "content_html": "\n
\"\"
Memories are like pictures in a shoebox. Sometimes you get to find out what happened to that girl.
\n\n\n

She was just a little girl when I first met Caroline. Two years my junior, I felt ever so much older and worldly than the little girl with the long, straight hair. Caroline had an older brother about my brother Gary’s age. Our brothers both went to the “special school” in our home town. Our moms knew each other through the Easter Seal Treatment Center where the boys both received speech and physical therapy. My mom was the secretary. Caroline’s mom volunteered whenever mom needed envelopes stuffed for the fundraisers that were held periodically.

\n\n\n

I never really knew Caroline. Our ages were just enough different that our paths didn’t cross through school, but I remember seeing stories about her and her brother and parents in the newspaper from time to time. She always had that long, straight hair. She went on to become an artist and lived in New England. But, so many times over the years, she and her brother would come to mind and I’d wonder how they were.

\n\n\n

Last night, as Mr. FixIt was at the bowling alley with his buddies, I went to Panera to write my post. As I pulled out my iPad, I looked up at the woman sliding into the booth next to mine. I smiled. It was Caroline!

\n\n\n

I caught her eye and smiled.

\n\n\n

“I’m sure you don’t know me, but you would know my mom and my brother.”

\n\n\n

Turns out she did remember and we had the most lovely conversation...comparing notes of lives lived and times past. Well, as much as you can in a few minutes in a restaurant. I’m afraid our conversation took up much of her dinner time, but I was so happy to have connected with her.

\n\n\n

Her brother is in a care center now and really doing as well as can be expected. He seems to be happy and content where he is and there’s a lot to be said for that. I invited Caroline to find Marshmallow Ranch. I hope she does. It’s so wonderful when you can dot some “I’s” and cross some “T’s” in your life. It closes an open loop that has run through my mind over the years. 

\n\n\n

What a treat it is when there’s some completion to a story.

\n\n\n

❤️

\n\n\n
\n

“and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.\"”

\nJohn 8:32 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-03-09T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/03/09/sweet-caroline.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Fun","West Virginia","Gratitude","Aging","Art"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/12/10/love-to-the-rescue.html", "title": "Love to the Rescue", "content_html": "

\"Friends\" “One of my besties! Deneene and her sidekick, Griffen the Grey, came for a visit. She’s good for what ails ya!”

\n

I wrote in yesterday’s post about feeling “in the ditch”. I struggled for a few days with grief waves triggered by a traumatic loss in the family. Then, in swept my dear friend Deneene with lots of love and her trusty sidekick, Griffen the Grey. Griff is a nine month old French Bulldog who wriggled his way into my heart when we visited Deneene and her husband Mark in South Carolina this summer. 

\n

I had been greatly anticipating Deneene’s arrival for the last week and when she walk in the door, all the “holding it all in” released with her big bear hug. I had the gas stove in the family room fired up so it was nice and toasty. And I had the TV on with this really great ten hour YouTube fireplace video running in the background. We have a huge TV because the family room is huge. It used to be a two car garage, so if you want to read the fine print at the bottom of the screen, you need a big TV. When Deneene walked in, she said she could see the fire blazing from the road leading past our house. I was glad no one thought the house was on fire and called 911!

\n

We didn’t stay up too late and talk because my friend is a new grandma and had just spent a week at her daughter’s helping out with the new baby. She was pretty tired so we said goodnight early. Deneene is not a real morning person, so when Mr. FixIt and I woke up at 8:30, I told him to be really quiet so as not to wake her. I forgot that puppies get their mommies up really early and she had been waiting for US to get up and keeping Griffen quiet.

\n

When I heard them talking in the family room, I quickly dressed and went into the kitchen to cook breakfast. Scratch biscuits with homemade sausage gravy and eggs. OMGosh! It’s been forever since I fixed that and it was SO good. I made Paula Deen’s Cream Biscuits. They are love in the palm of your hand. Look up the recipe. Super easy! And sausage gravy couldn’t be easier to make than mine. Fry a pound of sausage till browned, sprinkle about a third of a cup of flour over it and stir till combined then slowly pour enough milk over it to loosed it up, adding more milk as it cooks, stopping when you get the right consistency. 

\n

As we sat and ooohed and ahhhed over the delicacy before us, we slathered butter and local orange blossom honey over the rest of the biscuits till there were just three left. I tucked them in a bag for Deneene to take with her to nibble on the road. Deneene raved over our hospitality and I told her it was the best B&B this side of the Mississippi…and it’s free!

\n

We said our WV goodbye. She announced she should be leaving. We told another story. She said she really should get going. We hugged and talked about when we would get to see one another again. She gathered up her things. I made sure she didn’t forget her biscuits. We walked to the door. We hugged again and declared it had been too long since the last visit and we shouldn’t wait so long next time. She double checked if she had everything. I asked if she needed a bottle of water for the road. She picked up her bags and we had another long hug at the door. As she walked through, we noticed she had set down the biscuits when she put on her coat so we retrieved them for her. If it hadn’t have been raining, we would have walked her to her truck and the goodbye would have lasted another fifteen to twenty minutes. Thus is the nature of goodbyes in the country. It’s a goodbye full of love!

\n

I called after her, “Don’t forget to text when you get there!” If it was dusk, I would have said, “Watch for deer!” That’s West Virginian for “I love you!”

\n

Deneene honked from the road as she drove by and I waved madly from the front window. And she was gone. My friend whom I helped through her own grief had come and returned the favor. I felt so much better after her visit. I have a big deadline to meet this week so after Deneene left, I packed up and went to the farm where I turned the TV to the same fireplace video. I survived another wave and I’m on to the next thing. Such is the nature of grief. It just gets incorporated into life and you move forward. Thank you for your support yesterday. You have no idea what that means to me. I wish everyone who grieves had cheerleaders like you to support them through their journey.

\n

❤️

\n
“My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.”\n

John 15:12 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2019-12-10T02:30:55-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/12/10/love-to-the-rescue.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Fun","West Virginia","The Farm","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/12/04/grief-timestill-grief.html", "title": "Grief + Time...Still = Grief", "content_html": "

\"Grief “Grief plus time still equals grief. It’s just to varying degrees.”

\n

It is said, “A burdened shared is lightened.” I have found this is usually the case. A heavy load is more easily carried when someone picks up the other end. Mr. FixIt picks up the other end of my grief much of the time. While it isn’t necessarily his job, he helps me through the worst times because he is my partner in all things.

\n

That being said, I totally get how blessed I am to have this man in my life and I know he would keep picking up that other end till the cows came home. All I have to do is ask. That’s precisely why I don’t a lot of the time. It’s a tough job to love a widow. It takes a strong man. I don’t want him to burn out and decide this is more than what he bargained for. Besides, at some point, I had to learn to let Jesus do the heavy lifting for me so I could work on the feelings in my heart.

\n

It has been 2,457 days since Mr. Virgo died. I’ve come light years since those early days when I had zero control over my emotions. I was a slave to the whims of my limbic system. If you go back and read my early writing, you’ll find many nights when I literally grabbed onto the side of the mattress and hung on for dear life. Waves of grief led to oceans of anxiety that threatened to drown me every night. I knew if I could just hang on till the sun came up, it would be better. Eventually, ever so slowly, inch by inch…things got better. That’s why, when I get hit now, it’s fairly predictable and fairly remarkable.

\n

Triggers.

\n

There will always be triggers, no matter how long it’s been since your loss. 

\n

On Sunday morning, when we got the call about the young man who was killed in the car accident, my heart started racing, my hands were sweating, and my mind started to race. I had my hands full with dinner in various stages of completion. And, while I am not close to the young man, he was close family through Mr. FixIt’s children and grandchildren. I felt it was important to keep moving and get food ready for everyone. 

\n

I did well all day. I was supportive and listened and hugged everyone. I even told my story about losing Mr. Virgo to the family members who didn’t know me then. But, when I went to bed, I was quickly overwhelmed. My grief comes out through my stomach and I was sick most of the night. Just as it was in the early days, if I’m going to have any trouble with grief, it’s going to be in the long dark hours of the night.

\n

Fortunately, I have come a long way since those early days. I have learned a lot of tricks to help me get through the rough stuff. I know how to divert my attention by getting up and doing something different rather than lay there in bed mulling things over. Still, there are times when it all catches up with me and I can’t do anything about it. Those are the times I take something for my nausea and anxiety, go into the spare bedroom so as to not disturb my husband. Then, I talk out loud to Jesus until I drift off to sleep. When I wake up the next day, I’m fine and ready to take on the world again. 

\n

Tonight is the visitation. This will be hard. I will do my best to be there and support my bonus family and my husband. But I will not lie…this is not going to be easy for me. What I will tell myself all day tomorrow is…”If you think it’s hard to go to this, imagine his mother. His grandparents. His cousins. His friends. You can do this. It isn’t happening to YOU now.”

\n

That’s the thing you have to convince yourself. It isn’t happening to YOU. Because that’s where your mind takes you. Memory is a cruel mistress.

\n

❤️

\n
“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”\n

John 14:27 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2019-12-04T02:30:15-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/12/04/grief-timestill-grief.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","God","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Aging","Choices","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/11/26/tuesday-truth-when-you-canstep.html", "title": "Tuesday Truth: When You CAN...Step Away", "content_html": "

\"Meme\" “It’s OK to step away!”

\n

Do you have trouble stepping away from toxic relationships? Do you find you are people pleasing yourself into a corner? Are you feeling pressed into doing traditional holiday things even though you would rather not? Or maybe you just can’t face your ____________ (insert relative/friend here) this year…or ANY year? Well, I’m going to do something here…pay very close attention.

\n

Step away.

\n

If you need “permission” then, here…I’m giving you permission.

\n

Holidays can be especially difficult if you’re grieving. Or if you have underlying health issues. Or, you know…if you happen to be human. If you are over the age of consent, holidays can be much more painful than they are pleasurable. 

\n

For the last month, I’ve been really looking forward to going over to my cousin’s house for Thanksgiving. I don’t get to see her nearly often enough and this year it was for a very brief visit last month. I love to go and stay over a couple of days, but circumstances change. There are health issues with some of the older generation over there. Last year we left here early Thanksgiving morning, drove over, discovered my aunt had fallen and she and my uncle couldn’t attend dinner, so Mr. FixIt and I packed up a dinner for them and drove it to his house. This added another hour of driving…each way. Then, after our Thanksgiving meal back at my cousin’s house, we got in the tuck and drove home. It made for a very long day and was not relaxing nor fun even though it was great to see everyone.

\n

When I returned on Halloween from the six week camping excursion with the rpod and discovered we had a new kitten, everything changed. Now there are no more impromptu trips and I am not up for a drive-by. I took the self-care approach and opted out. Now we can work hard to finish the back bathroom this week and get the sink, toilet, and shower stall out of our living room in time for our family gathering on Sunday.

\n

Sometimes it’s a sibling. Or an aging parent. You may feel guilty for stepping away, but as I tell you so often, you cannot fill someone else with an empty cup. WE are no good to anyone, including ourselves, if we continue putting ourselves in situations that are toxic and abusive. 

\n

I know, I know…there are times when you may be the only one that person has. There may be situations where you are a caregiver and there IS no other option. If you feel stuck…it’s ok to look for options. It’s ok to step away and take care of yourself. It’s ok to stay home and eat a hotdog for Thanksgiving if that will give you more peace. Surround yourself with the people who love you and lift you up and celebrate you if that’s what you want to do. But…give yourself permission to stay home if you need to. It’s ok.

\n

❤️

\n
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”\n

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2019-11-26T02:30:07-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/11/26/tuesday-truth-when-you-canstep.html", "tags": ["Health","Family","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Growth","New Ideas","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Fear","Forgiveness","Courage","Aging","Choices","Change","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/11/24/refill-your-cup.html", "title": "Refill Your Cup", "content_html": "

\"Baby “You can’t fill someone else with an empty cup.”

\n

I met the Coffee Divas from my high school class yesterday. We try to meet once a month or so but I’ve been gone so much this year, it’s been a little less than that. When I returned from my WV tour in the Girl Camper charity raffle trailer, I was really ready to just be at home for a little bit. I wouldn’t say I was burned out…that sounds so negative and it wasn’t a negative kind of feeling at all. I just missed home and missed my sweet Mr. FixIt and I was ready to just be in one place and not move for a while.

\n

There were eight of us at coffee yesterday. We are all so different…yet so similar. We’ve gone through a lot of the same things…sometimes at the same time…sometimes not. The wonderful thing about being “of a certain age” is our ability to relate to so many different experiences. One of my friends lost her mom a year ago Friday. She’s been experiencing all the things the come with that and I was so happy to see her reaching out as she lifts herself up from that slump we all go through in the year after a significant loss.

\n

One of the gals had never been to one of our coffees. She knew some of us but not all. I never knew her in school, but she knew Mr. FixIt. She is introverted, as so many are. And she was stretching her boundaries to reach out and make new friends. That is not an easy thing to do when you’re sixty-six. We welcomed her with open arms. I watched a change come over her as the two hours passed. When she came in, her shoulders were tense…her eyes searching for a familiar face. By the time she left, her eyes danced and her dazzling smile said she had reached a happy place. Her cup was being filled.

\n

As we chatted about the places we find ourselves on this journey, I told the girls we cannot expect to fill others with an empty cup. We have to get replenished…to drink from the well and be filled ourselves. I told them…it is not selfish to practice self-care. I love that we are there for each other…this variety of women whose singular most common thread is the high school class we graduated from.

\n

I feel so much better now after being home a few weeks. I’ve rested. I’m sleeping well. I’ve had lots of hugs from my sweetheart and snuggled my great grandbabies. This week is Thanksgiving. Our plans are fluid. We might go to my cousin’s house. We might just stay home. Our local family Thanksgiving celebration is next Sunday. This is a week for all of us to reflect on the blessings we have…whether we are on the mountain top…or in a dark valley. 

\n

This is our time to look for ways to fill up our cups. When I look to God first as my Source, I’m filled with Living Water. When I look to my loved ones second, I’m filled with the blessings He has already given me. As you walk into this week, may you remember to fill your cup first so you can be a fount of inspiration for others. And may you encounter peace and love.

\n

❤️

\n
“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”\n

Romans 15:13 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2019-11-24T02:30:55-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/11/24/refill-your-cup.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Fun","Growth","Gratitude","Wisdom","Courage","Aging","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/11/20/story-update-little-gwen.html", "title": "Story Update: Little Gwen", "content_html": "

\"Toddler “We’ve been following Little Gwen since she was born with Arthrogryposis. Look…she’s standing!!!”

\n

Last year I wrote about little Gwen. Her grandma is my friend, Jody who graduated with Daughter #1. Gwen was born with Arthrogryposis. I posted a picture of her back then with her little twisted legs and hands. One knee bent completely backwards and her foot sat in front of her face. Her jaw is severely recessed and because of that, her swallowing is restricted. She has had a feeding tube ever since she was a newborn. 

\n

God knew what He was doing when He brought Gwen to her family. I can’t imagine any family any better equipped to handle the severe challenges that lay in front of them. They stand up and deliver the very best for Gwen and are her true champions. 

\n

Gwen has had more than her share of setbacks in her short life with frequent hospitalizations. In spite of the Arthrogryposis, she has come further than anyone could have imagined. She has the best medical team around and has made great strides.

\n

Her legs are straight now but she still wears braces to help keep them growing right. Her little feet aren’t moving with the braces like they had hoped so she may need to have surgery to fix them. These are difficult decisions for young parents to make. This surgery may help her feet move into a better position. However, it can also condemn her to wearing braces on her legs the rest of her life. That’s a lot to consider. It isn’t an emergency, so Mom and Dad are getting a second opinion.

\n

I wanted to share Gwen’s most recent photo. This picture just warmed my heart. Look at her standing up! I’m so happy for her and her family. They’ve worked so hard to see every little milestone. I know they get discouraged from time to time, but they are the first to get right back up and encourage Gwennie to be her best little self…no matter what life brings her way!

\n

Won’t you join me in lifting Gwen and her family up in prayer? Pray that they find the perfect solution for her little feet. Pray that her body gets strong and that illness stays away from her. Pray for strength and courage, joy and peace for her and her entire family. They are a faith-filled family and know where their every blessing comes from. Praises for her accomplishments.

\n

We love you, little Gwen! Keep up the good work and remember, God is with you always!

\n

❤️

\n
“Then Jesus said to his host, “When you give a luncheon or dinner, do not invite your friends, your brothers or sisters, your relatives, or your rich neighbors; if you do, they may invite you back and so you will be repaid. But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed. Although they cannot repay you, you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.””\n

Luke 14:12-14 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2019-11-20T02:30:01-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/11/20/story-update-little-gwen.html", "tags": ["Faith","Health","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Gratitude","Love","God","Peace","Courage","Choices","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/11/19/healing-and-scars-and-joy.html", "title": "Healing and Scars and Joy", "content_html": "

\"Grief “Although grief is never finished, healing can occur and you can use your scars to help others.”

\n

Grief doesn’t run in a straight line. Anything but. We’d love to see the slow and steady climb from that deep, dark valley head right up the side of that mountain to joy. But, unfortunately…it just doesn’t happen that way. Grief runs all skwiggly-skwog…up and down, back and forth, around and around and around. 

\n

At first you don’t think you are making any progress at all. You can’t feel anything but pain. You cant see two minutes in front of you. It’s a bloody wonder we survive at all. The world is dark. No color…no sound…and certainly no joy.

\n

One of the things people had the hardest time understanding in my early writing was the “gems in the flames”. I always looked for those gifts God left for me along my path as he led me through the fire. This wasn’t just a Pollyanna attempt to keep my glass half full. This was an exercise in faith knowing that…even in my darkest, most painful moments…my cup was still full to overflowing because Jesus was in that valley with me. Urging me on. Asking me to trust Him and just take one more step.

\n

It’s easy to have faith when things are looking good. When you’re standing on the mountaintop and you’re feeling great, you may even forget to thank God for carrying you through the muck. Or, you might throw a cursory “Thanks!” His way then think “I’ve got this!” No, it’s when you’re down at your lowest…when life is hard and painful and dirty and ugly…and you beg for God to catch you and bring you out of this that you lean in closest.

\n

When you’re walking the road of grief and things hurt so bad and grieving tears your heart out of your chest, you may very well be tempted to take a shortcut. Circumvent the whole process, push that nasty wad of grief way, way down deep inside and slap a smile on your face. Because, let’s face it…that’s what the world is usually asking you to do. “Aren’t you over this yet?” “You just need to _____________” (fill in the blank with any of a zillion suggestions you receive). The sheer variety of platitudes is mind numbing. 

\n

Oh, you can try to walk around it or climb under it, but one of these days, that bandage is going to come off and you’re going to have to face grief head on and it’s going to be ten times worse than it was before. At least, that’s what happened with me when I tried to date someone way…WAY too soon after Mr. Virgo died. 

\n

Even four years after Mr. Virgo died and I started dating Mr. Fixit, I was still pretty broken. Fortunately, he has a huge heart and an infinite amount of patience with me. He allowed me to talk it all through with him. He’s a great listener. Then one day, I didn’t feel compelled to talk about it as much and my heart truly started to heal. 

\n

Mr. Virgo came along when I was in a really vulnerable place. I had gone through a particularly difficult and ugly breakup/divorce five years before. And still, for the first year, that man listened oh so patiently as I went though all the gory details and told him every sad and angry story. He saw the potential and he invested in our love. 

\n

Both of these men love me with the white hot heat of the sun. Neither relationship would have ever worked had I not already worked through a lot of the pain of grief…both that of divorce and that of death. Those two men I dated between Mr. Virgo’s death and Mr. FixIt’s arrival though? Oy! I bled all over them from wounds they never caused. It wasn’t fair to them. I hate that I was blind and couldn’t see past my own need for a tourniquet.

\n

Fortunately, I did come to some understanding how unfair it was to another person to try to have a relationship too soon. That’s when I stopped trying to date and started a serious relationship with Jesus. Then…when I was in a much better place…I was ready to open my heart and try again. It isn’t easy. There’s nothing about grief that is easy. And if you are in the throes of it, you will not understand this, but…I’ve come to look at every situation with a level of Joy. Maybe not jump up and down happy-happy joy. But with the Joy of knowing I have a Father in Heaven who loves me and will never, ever leave me. I have Jesus to hang onto when I go through the worst of situations. THAT Joy….that Joy with a capital “J”. 

\n

There is Joy in the scars because you have the opportunity to share your story with others. You have the opportunity to reach back to others coming behind you who are trying to find their footing in their pain. Your scars give you the freedom to love others. Your scars give you validity. They show others they aren’t alone. And when you can be there for another who hurts like you once hurt, you give the greatest gift possible. Empathy. 

\n

You don’t have to have flowery words. You don’t have to offer Hallmark phrases. You can give a hug, sit quietly, or just be honest and say, “Whew…I don’t know what to say, but I’m here for you.” It’s isn’t easy to be there for someone who’s in pain, but it is so fulfilling to know you can somehow help another human being when they’re hurting.

\n

Being vulnerable. Being available. Being open and honest. That is where I find my Joy in grief.

\n

❤️

\n
“Lord my God, I called to you for help, and you healed me.”\n

Psalms 30:2 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2019-11-19T02:30:14-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/11/19/healing-and-scars-and-joy.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Growth","God","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/11/12/shelves-of-memories.html", "title": "Shelves of Memories", "content_html": "

\"Jelly “The antique jelly cupboard from the farm now houses my quilts.”

\n

When I showed you my beautiful jelly cupboard that I recently moved from the farm, many of you asked to see it when I had the quilts inside. As I sat working in the living room at the Ponderosa yesterday afternoon, the warm sunshine streaming through the big windows made its way to the cupboard. The shelves sat empty and glaring at me. I set my work aside and went on the hunt for my quilts. They have been put away since the wedding a year ago and it was about time they were brought out for all to see.

\n

I am of the mindset not to “save the good china”. I want what few antiques I have curated to be displayed and used in my everyday life. Part of this is because my kids more than likely will not be interested in them. And partly because one of the lessons Mr. Virgo unwittingly taught me was…life is short. Use the crystal and the quilts.

\n

When the unfortunate parting of the ways came on Christmas of 2014, just ten weeks after I arrived to help my Aunt Peeps, I didn’t know what to do with the cherished items I brought from Colorado. Five thousand pounds of stuff I didn’t believe I could part with became an albatross around my neck. I couldn’t leave it at the farm and I couldn’t take it with me on the road. My good friend, Steve, let me store a lot of it in his basement. And I decided many of the most cherished family keepsakes should go live with my cousin, Tammy. That way I can visit them and she can enjoy them.

\n

My quilts were one of the things I simply could not part with and I carefully stored them away for the perfect way to display them again. Once they were safely tucked on the aged bittersweet colored shelves of the jelly cupboard, I sat back to observe my handiwork. I realized something heartwarming. 

\n

For the last few years, I have been dreading the day when I can no longer visit or spend time in Grandma’s old red farmhouse. That day will come…when, I don’t know. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned in my life, it is that change is the only thing we can count on in this earthy plane. As I sat and looked at the worn wood the color of a caramel apple, I realized I could feel the farmhouse. I could see the hump in the floor where it’s settled over the years. The old faded linoleum that made cleaning much easier. I could hear the squeak of the stairs and the way the spring squeals when the screen door slams. I could see the boxes of Wheaties that Pop-Pop kept on the top of the cupboard for his dessert after supper. I could hear the faint sound the doors made when I reached in as a little girl…taking the mishmash collection of dishes out to set the table or putting them back in after hand washing and drying.

\n

In that moment I realized that, even though the house may someday be inaccessible to me, this jelly cupboard is the heart of what is left of the beautiful childhood memories created within the crooked walls of a crooked little house in West Virginia. And…it is mine. Combining households with Mr. FixIt has definitely expanded our “footprint”, however…we each have things that are our personal possessions. While I don’t believe I will ever accumulate “stuff” like I did before Mr. Virgo died, what I do have will be things that are beautiful, useful, and that bring me joy. 

\n

❤️

\n
“That precious memory triggers another...”\n

2 Timothy 1:5-7 MSG

\n", "date_published": "2019-11-12T02:30:47-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/11/12/shelves-of-memories.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Strong Women","Positive Energy","West Virginia","The Farm","Gratitude","Comfort","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Aging","Downsizing"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/10/07/all-good-things.html", "title": "All Good Things...", "content_html": "

\"Girl “The curtain closes on another successful Fall What-a-Hoot!”

\n

What a FUN event we had this weekend at the Fourth Annual Fall What-a-Hoot at Beaver Creek State Park with the Girl Campers! OMGosh…we ate and laughed and knitted and crafted. We sat around the campfire every night and talked and talked and talked. We toured each other’s campers. We broke in a newbie. We hugged and prayed and praised.

\n

We antiqued and flea marketed and shopped and faired. We watched a movie on the big screen outdoors. We captured sunrises and sunsets. We cooked and shared recipes. We shared pictures of the kids and grandkids and great grandkids. We taught and shared. We listened. We embraced each other’s differences. We lifted each other up. We included everyone and made everyone feel welcome and special. You know what we didn’t do? We didn’t talk politics. We didn’t watch TV. We didn’t complain…about anything. Not even the 41 degree morning. Ok, maybe a little about the mosquitoes. And those folks on that one site that had a WAY too big fire and a drunken party till the wee hours of Sunday morning that kept some gals awake. Oh, and did I say…NO POLITICS! It was heavenly! The weekend ended with a much, MUCH needed rain. I’m staying on for another extra night since it’s supposed to rain all day today. I have writing to do and some trip planning. I’m also going to work on a little project I’ll share with you soon. 

\n

Happy Monday, everyone! 

\n

❤️

\n
“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”\n

Romans 15:13 NIV

\n 

\n", "date_published": "2019-10-07T01:30:46-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/10/07/all-good-things.html", "tags": ["Travel","Uplifting Stories","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Camping","Fun","Gratitude","God","Peace","Wisdom","Presence","Girl Camper","Girl Campers","Be Joyful!","Chasing the Sun - Girl Camper Road Trip"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/09/27/love-letters-from-beyond.html", "title": "Love Letters from Beyond", "content_html": "

\"Love “Leaving love notes behind for your spouse to find later…what a gift!”

\n

My friends and I camped at Beaver Creek State Park last night. We so seldom get together, just the three of us and when we do it’s always so special. It’s always tempting to stay up really late and sleep in the next day, but Janine and I both had long drives home. We called it a night fairly early and were up and ready for coffee by 8:00. We chatted over a leisurely breakfast and prayed for each other before we finally broke camp by 11:00. I pulled in to the Ponderosa around 4:00, dropped off the camper, and turned right around to go back to town for small group. I’m not signed up for this session, but I wanted to visit and share in the fellowship with dear friends from church.

\n

I was seated by a new member of the group. Jonna is a widow of two years. I put my hand on her arm and told her how sorry I was for her loss. We chatted about the similarities and differences between people’s grief experiences. She knew ahead of time that her husband was dying and she was thrilled they had time to have important conversations, no matter how uncomfortable they were.

\n

Just before our meeting started, she leaned over and lowered her voice a little.

\n

“Wanna know the BEST part?” 

\n

I was intrigued. I had never thought about “the best part” of grief.

\n

“Yes….please!”

\n

“My husband hid love notes for me everywhere! I’ve found over twenty of them already!”

\n

My heart melted. I remember finding a note Mr. Virgo had left me for Valentine’s day just a month before he died unexpectedly. I know how precious that is.

\n

“I’m not going to go looking for them. If I find one, it’s a gift! I found one the other day in the file of Explanation of Benefits from the insurance!”

\n

I leaned over to her and said, “I think that is just the sweetest thing!”

\n

That’s a good man, right there. He knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, what these little gifts would mean to the woman he had married thirty-eight years prior. Even when he was ill and in pain from the amputation of his leg, this gentle giant left his sweetheart love letters from beyond. Yes…that’s a very good man!

\n

❤️

\n
“Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way. The Lord be with all of you.”\n

2 Thessalonians 3:16 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2019-09-27T01:30:20-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/09/27/love-letters-from-beyond.html", "tags": ["Family","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","West Virginia","Gratitude","Love","Wisdom","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/09/18/the-girl-camper-trailer-reveal.html", "title": "The Girl Camper Trailer Reveal!", "content_html": "\"Girl\n

Today’s the day!!! Tune in at 3:00 on the goRVing Facebook page for a live reveal of how Janine has taken our little R-Pod 196 from “Factory to Fabulous!” We are so excited to show you all the special touches that have totally transformed this camper into a cozy, elegant showstopper.

\n

\"Girl “Janine used bright and cheerful wallpapers from Spoonflower to give the camper an elegant, artsy feel. Campers don’t have to be brown!”

\n

We came to Setzer’s RV Center in Huntington yesterday and were greeted by the owner…our good friend, Lynn Butler. I handed her a laundry list of little things that needed doing. First off, the scissor jack that I bent needed replaced. Then they filled my propane tank and provided me with a water hose so I could fill my freshwater tank. They replaced a low point drain cap that was missing. Once I was plugged into power, I was all set.

\n

\"Girl “Mixing different patterns delineates different living areas giving the camper a much roomier feel.”

\n

We spent the evening finishing up the decor. We put the memory foam mattress topper on the bed and dressed it. After a meal of smoked ribs, we settled in for the night, each in our own little campers…in the parking lot of the RV dealership! We were locked in, safe and sound. There is nothing….nothing like snuggling into your little camper. It has always been a tiny sanctuary for me…my safe place. My happy place. 

\n

\"Girl “Custom fabric was used post factory to make the living area more homey. This jack knife sofa folds out to a twin sized bed.”

\n

Today will be really busy, but fun. I can’t wait till you get to see the interior of this camper. Last night was my first night sleeping in it so I’ll have to tell you about that tomorrow! 

\n

\"Girl “The kitchen is compact but fully functional. A deep stainless steel sink with a goose neck faucet is a big plus.”

\n

AND…Raffle Tickets go on sale today on GirlCamper.com

\n

❤️

\n
“All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty.”\n

Proverbs 14:23 NIV

\n 

\n", "date_published": "2019-09-18T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/09/18/the-girl-camper-trailer-reveal.html", "tags": ["Travel","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Camping","Fun","West Virginia","Gratitude","goRVing","Peace","Girl Camper","Girl Campers","Road Trip","Chasing the Sun - Girl Camper Road Trip"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/09/17/chasing-the-sun.html", "title": "Chasing the Sun!", "content_html": "

\"2020 “2020 RPod 196…taking her for a test run for the next four months!”

\n

I’ve been trying to come up with a great name for my epic trip. I have decided I’ll be chasing the sun to stay warm as I travel further south so that’s just what I’ll call it. And yesterday was officially the very first day!!! And what a crazy day it was.

\n

First, we had to pack up our hotel room. It is absolutely amazing what two people can accumulate in three short days! Once we were packed up, we headed to Advanced Auto Parts to buy a 2” ball for my hitch since that’s the size the RPod needs. I found one, but they didn’t have a wrench big enough to handle the job so I went across to the Goodyear store. They didn’t have a big enough tool either. So, rather than keep searching, I just went back to Advanced Auto and bought a new hitch at the correct size and we headed to Hershey Park to pick up the new camper.

\n

When we arrived, our little camper was sitting all by herself at the end of the row. We hooked up and off we went. We had an easy, uneventful trip till we pulled into the field at the Ponderosa. I miscalculated a small incline and caught one of the scissor jacks and bent it. It’s no big deal, it didn’t hurt the camper at all…but it did hurt my pride because I knew better than to come in at that angle. We’ll just chalk it up to being overly tired because we were!

\n

It was wonderful to see Mr. Fixit! He had a pan of my smoked ribs out of the freezer thawing and I popped them in the oven as soon as I walked in. We fiddled around with the campers a little here and there. Janine had a spill in hers from a jar of balsamic vinaigrette that fell out of the cabinet so she had quite a sticky mess to clean up. We were all really excited to dine al fresco on the deck by the pool.

\n

And, just like that…the evening was over and Janine and I both retreated to separate rooms to do our writing while Mr. FixIt watched his evening shows. It was too hot to dry camp in the field without air conditioning so we went for comfort and slept indoors. Today we are driving down to Huntington to Setzer’s RV to get some fine tuning on the campers and I will get my official walk through to learn the inner workings of the RPod. I’m going to have to come up with a cute name for her! Any ideas?

\n

❤️

\n
“Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy.”\n

Proverbs 28:13 NIV

\n 

\n", "date_published": "2019-09-17T01:30:53-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/09/17/chasing-the-sun.html", "tags": ["Travel","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Camping","Fun","West Virginia","Gratitude","goRVing","Courage","Girl Camper","Girl Campers","Choices","Road Trip","Chasing the Sun - Girl Camper Road Trip"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/09/16/weve-come-a-long-way.html", "title": "We’ve Come a Long Way Baby!", "content_html": "

\"Early “Camping in the early days in Denver. This is just down the street from where Ben & Sue live!”

\n

Janine and I spent our time at the RV Show yesterday browsing around for content for our blogs. We stood for eight hours and walked nearly 10,000 steps. By the time the show was finished, we were exhausted but then there was work to be done. Processing and editing photos, writing blog posts, calculating trip routes and travel times. All the logistics that come with the postmortems of a travel show.

\n

I’ll bet we didn’t get to see one tenth of this show. And even that was overwhelming. We did see a couple of really cool campers. We saw some really EXPENSIVE campers. We saw everything from bargain basement, bare bones boxes to luxury on wheels. It’s amazing what some of the interiors of these campers look like. Marble counters, high end furnishings, and appliances that look like they come out of the finest kitchens. It boggles the mind that people would pay half a million dollars for a fancy bus.

\n

There are so many accessories….many that you definitely don’t need, but there are lots that were pretty handy. One was a rechargeable work light that would work well to illuminate a campsite if you arrive in the dark and need to back in. We have some really fun accessories that I’ll be sharing with you after the big reveal next week. We are still holding back the majority of the photos till then.

\n

In the meantime, they are breaking down the show overnight. I need to get a smaller ball on my hitch to fit the new camper. Janine and I are heading to the Ponderosa today then to Huntington tomorrow. We’ll dry camp out in the field tonight! So please keep us in your prayers for travel mercies today. I am so excited about pulling this camper today!

\n

❤️

\n
“For the Lord gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding.”\n

Proverbs 2:6 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2019-09-16T01:30:40-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/09/16/weve-come-a-long-way.html", "tags": ["Travel","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Camping","Fun","West Virginia","Gratitude","goRVing","Grace","God","Wisdom","Girl Camper","Girl Campers","Choices","Change","Road Trip","Chasing the Sun - Girl Camper Road Trip"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/09/15/the-really-really-big-show.html", "title": "The Really REALLY Big Show!", "content_html": "

\"Women “Janine, her BFF Carol, and me in front of the R Pod at the Hershey RV Show.”

\n

Ok, so I thought Friday’s show was busy? Hokey Smokes!!! Yesterday was absolutely insane at the RV Show…but SO amazingly fun! Hundreds of people came and walked through the camper. Everyone loved the decor and if they didn’t…it was probably a guy. Guys don’t necessarily get the whole “decorate your camper” thing. That’s why most campers are varying themes of BROWN. I think a guy takes a look and says, “Yeah…that won’t show dirt. Use that!”

\n

I do have to say, the folks at Forest River are stepping up their game in the new R Pod. The cabinets are a lovely shade of grey and the walls are off white. It is a perfect canvas on which to decorate in whatever style strikes your fancy. The light colors along with multiple large windows brings in an abundance of light which is exactly what I am looking for in a camper. I am going to switch the mattress out. I’ve never found an RV mattress that I found satisfactory. I am very choosy about my mattresses. I have an extra memory foam mattress at home so I’ll switch it out when I’m there next week.

\n

Janine and I were so exhausted when we got back to our hotel room yesterday. We both took a long nap, then headed out for dinner. Our meal was ok. I was disappointed in my main course. I had pasta and meat sauce with Italian sausage. The sausage had been left in the skillet too long and was actually burnt. When the waitress took my plate, she asked if there was something wrong. I explained and she offered something different. By that time I was full from just the pasta and sauce and didn’t care for anything else. 

\n

Pretty soon, the manage/owner came out to talk with me. He said he took my entree off the check. In the process of our discussion, I informed him I had a good understanding of what he was going through. I told him about Mr. Virgo working in the Food & Beverage industry all of his career. He lit up and we began a long discussion comparing notes of who worked where and when. This is something I always found fascinating with Mr. Virgo. No matter where we were, he could find someone who knew someone and there was always common ground. It made me smile.

\n

I told him our story. I told him about going out to buy the camper and how he died while we were looking. I told him about buying the little camper and taking it out in the wilderness and backroads of Colorado. I told him about selling my house and buying the big camper and getting rid of 95% of my personal belongings. I told him about being on the road in the camper and writing about it and how I came to know Janine. Then, I told him the happy ending of the story…running into Mr. FixIt and how we are just about ready to celebrate our 1st Wedding Anniversary.

\n

A happy ending. It’s never “The End” though…is it. Mr. Virgo died. But it wasn’t the end. It was the end of many things…but not of him. Or of me. There is always more story to be written…even when you cannot believe you can survive another moment after such a painful loss. Being away, doing something different, learning new things, expanding my territory. All these things offer a lovely perspective of life. I can’t think how my life could be any more perfect than what it is. I am so incredibly grateful. Telling my story gives me this gift every single time.

\n

❤️

\n
“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.”\n

James 1:17 NIV

\n 

\n", "date_published": "2019-09-15T01:30:02-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/09/15/the-really-really-big-show.html", "tags": ["Travel","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Camping","Fun","Growth","Gratitude","goRVing","Wisdom","Humbled","Girl Camper","Girl Campers","Be Joyful!","Widow","Road Trip","Chasing the Sun - Girl Camper Road Trip"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/09/10/forever.html", "title": "Forever 62...", "content_html": "

\"Handsome “Mr. Virgo…Forever 62…and still handsome as ever.”

\n

Happy Heavenly Birthday, Mr. Virgo. You would have been sixty-nine today. Would you have been retired by now? Would we have pulled that camper all over the country? Would our golf game be any better? It’s hard to say, but my guess is…we would have been out hitting some balls today.

\n

My life is so different now…I do different things. I camp and write about it. I grieve and write about it. I got married again…and I write about it! Nothing is safe anymore…it’s all blog fodder. But in a good way.

\n

I remember all the stages, all the phases, all the fear and pain and anger your loss caused me. I remember it all. At the same time, the edges are fuzzy. A little out of focus. The only words I can hear your voice say in my mind anymore is “I love you, baby doll.” I can picture your hands…your earlobes…your hair. It’s like I can see all the pieces of the puzzle but I cannot seem to piece them all together and put together a workable picture of you. Sometimes it’s frustrating. Sometimes its a Godsend.

\n

As I always tell my readers, the pain of grief is always much, much worse when I’m tired. Sunday night, I could not get to sleep. And the longer it went on, the more focused I became on being away. I knew I’d be tired. And I knew the waves could hit any minutes, even if you never crossed my mind. 

\n

I finally drifted off for about 20 minutes and woke up freezing. I turned off the fan, threw a blanket over me, and went to sleep for…maybe a half hour. This time, I woke up overheated, sweating profusely, and anxious/nauseated/jittery. I finally got up, turned the fan back on, and got sick.

\n

Grief.

\n

Waves of seemingly unending grief have dwindled to the rare bad night. Sunday night was it. I hate disturbing Mr. FixIt if I’m jumping up and down all night so I moved to the guest room, took something for my upset stomach, and finally slipped into a sound sleep for four or five hours. This is the way it works now. The fact that I am happily married doesn’t seem to phase it. We never “get over it”….but we do learn how to hold our grief with soft hands so as to not wake up the beast.

\n

It is your 69th. You are there with your mom and dad…and cousin-in-law Dennis…and now, your firstborn, Shannon. She has been with you for two years. I know you all are together and having a cigar on the back 9…watching the sunset. 

\n

I will always love you and remember you in so many ways. It’s funny how your shape in my life has changed over time. Each year you step a tiny bit further away. Your star shines a tiny bit less in my every day life…but you’re so much bigger in the grand moments. And still, every once it a while, a wave hits me and I have a bad night. Thank God, they are fewer and farther between.

\n

So…

\n

Happy Birthday, Mr. Virgo!

\n

❤️

\n
“So also you have sorrow now, but I will see you again, and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy from you.”\n

John 16:22 ESV

\n 

\n", "date_published": "2019-09-10T01:30:19-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/09/10/forever.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Growth","Gratitude","God","Peace","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Aging","Choices","Change","Widow","Marriage","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/09/08/let-things-go.html", "title": "Let Things Go", "content_html": "

\"Autumn “Letting things go for a little while gives your mind and heart a chance to breathe.”

\n

I have a list as long as my arm to get accomplished in the next four days. On the upside, I don’t have a camper to clean and prep for a trip. On the downside, I still have laundry, errands, packing, planning, writing, and a couple of doctor’s appointments before I slip out of town on Thursday for the beginning of this amazing Girl Camper Trailer Tour.

\n

So, with all this stuff on my list, what did I do yesterday? I let things go. I created a day just for me. I met ten of my dear friends from my high school class for coffee and conversation. We caught up with what’s been going on since the beginning of summer. We haven’t met since June before I left cross country. This is the first chance I’ve had to plan a coffee gathering since returning from Colorado. I needed to fit it in before I leave again this week.

\n

We caught up with everyone’s health issues. Yes, we’re THOSE people now…surgeries, hospitalizations, injuries. We are “of a certain age” and things break down more often it seems. One of the gals was new to our gathering. She’s been liberated from a longstanding situation that didn’t allow her to socialize before now so there was a lot of catching up to do there. We talked about our vacations over the summer and travel plans for the fall. We shared photos of the grandkids…and GREAT grandkids! Ninety minutes flew by and someone called, “Picture time!” We needed to enlist a patron sitting in the cafe to come take our photo. A young woman doing homework. I smiled. “High school friends. Don’t ever lose touch!” She smiled back and took the perfect picture.

\n

When it was time to leave, we each hugged everyone there. We’re of that age…we don’t know “when” and “if” anymore. So we hug and kiss a lot and give lots of “love you’s” and “take care’s”. I left feeling loved and supported and relieved those I care about were experiencing a pretty good week. As I was heading to the truck, one of our granddaughters texted to say she was in town and did I want to snuggle our great grandson. Well…of course! Silly question!

\n

I went to the former Mrs. FixIt’s house and visited her and with not one, but BOTH great grandchildren for an hour or so and caught up with everyone, then headed off for errands. I met Mr. FixIt after his golf scramble and went to one of my favorite stores…Rural King. I’m looking for a cool barn coat but I’m not finding one. I’ll probably have to buy online.

\n

So, there you go…my primer on how to let things go. Totally self serving and vitally important. Church today, then I can piddle around the house. It’ll get done. And, it’ll get done without me feeling like I’ll tear my hair out at any minute. That is a monumental win-win in my book.

\n

❤️

\n
“a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;”\n

Ecclesiastes 3:5 ESV

\n", "date_published": "2019-09-08T01:30:33-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/09/08/let-things-go.html", "tags": ["Health","Uplifting Stories","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Fun","West Virginia","Gratitude","Comfort","Love","Wisdom","Courage","Aging","Presence","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/09/06/stitched-with-love.html", "title": "Stitched with Love", "content_html": "

\"Quilt\" “My friend’s comfort quilt is on its way. She’s had her first dose of chemo.”

\n

My dear friend’s quilt is on its way out west. As I sat and hand stitched the binding, I listened to praise music for a bit, then I switched over to my daily devotional. My Bible app on my phone has a function where someone reads the Bible to you. That is especially handy for my Bible plan that I’m working on. It’s planned so that you read the entire Bible in a year. I’ve only read the Bible completely once. I read it from cover to cover…from Genesis to Revelations. That’s tough. You get stuck in all those begats and Kings and it’s difficult to keep from going cross eyed. 

\n

This plan reads a couple of chapters from the Old Testament and the New Testament. Then it reads some from Psalms and finishes with Proverbs. Every day. Once I got two weeks behind and swore I’d never do that again. Then over the weekend, I hit the two week behind mark again. Currently I’m only behind nine days. I have some catching up to do. Listening over the headphones accomplished two things…it helped me catch up a bit and it let me stitch the Word into my work. Then I prayed over the quilt and hugged it close and sent it off to my friend, hoping she feels the love and hugs and prayers put into each stitch.

\n

I’m counting down the days for my trip now. We’ve all learned from experience just how fast a week can go by. It will be no time and I’ll be off to the Hershey RV Show. I’ll meet Janine there and we’ll work the show for two days. Then we’ll be off to Huntington, WV. 

\n

I’ve been researching stays for my trip and all the writing that is going to be involved with it. Lots of driving. Lots of photo editing. Plus another project that’s coming up very soon. PLUS my own writing here. That’s a ton of work. What I will have to do is share my trip writing here on some of the days. It will be extremely difficult (I think) to write the daily essays you and I have become accustomed to. Then again, writing on this blog has become my bedtime ritual and I may not be able to sleep until I write something here.

\n

At any rate, you and I are about to embark on a VERY exciting journey filled with fun experiences and beautiful scenery. And sometimes we’ll still talk about grief. Because, you know…it’s what we do here. Grief and joy can exist at the same time.

\n

❤️

\n
“a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;”\n

Ecclesiastes 3:7 ESV

\n 

\n", "date_published": "2019-09-06T01:30:17-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/09/06/stitched-with-love.html", "tags": ["Health","Travel","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Gratitude","Comfort","Love","Courage","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/09/04/the-other-side-of-fear.html", "title": "The Other Side of Fear", "content_html": "

\"\" “Everything you want is on the other side of fear.” Jack Canfield

\n

I hear from a lot of widows who face fear as one of their most difficult symptoms of grief. Fear of the unknown…fear of being alone…fear of other people’s motives. Navigating grief is difficult enough on it’s own. Add fear, anxiety, and even full blown panic attacks and it ratchets grief up to an unbearable level. 

\n

I’ve always had a bit of an anxious nature. Anticipatory social anxiety. Commonly called “stage fright”. I’ve come a long way in learning to control it. Sometimes it bothers me. Sometimes it doesn’t. I’ve learned the things I most want to do lie on the other side of that fear, so I have to figure out ways to get through to the other side in order to find my bliss.

\n

The fear I felt early on after losing Mr. Virgo was different than my usual pre-speech jitters. It was hold-onto-the-edge-of-the-mattress-all-night awful. Through trial and error, I’ve learned a lot of skills…tools for my tool box, so to speak. If I feel myself amping up, one of the things that almost immediately calms me down is listening to praise music. If I’m singing at the top of my lungs, its really difficult to be scared. 

\n

I’ve had so many people tell me they would really love to take off camping or traveling by themselves but they are too scared. The bottom line any grief mentor should take is honoring what others are and are not capable of. That being said, if it really is something you want to do, there are ways you can ease into scary situations without jumping in with both feet.

\n

Finding a like-minded friend to do things with can help a lot when it comes to doing new things. Taking little baby steps helps, as well. If your dream is to take a month long trip to Europe but you have panic attacks going to the grocery store, you need to desensitize yourself. Start with little excursions. A short day trip. Repeat till you’re comfortable. Then an overnight, then two…you get the idea. Getting professional help can go a long way toward building your confidence and getting down to the root of the issues you face.

\n

When I was planning the trip to Colorado, my biggest concerns were the social obligations of my daughter’s wedding and being so far away from Mr. FixIt. Losing Mr. Virgo so suddenly brings the possibility of a repeat to the forefront of my imagination. So, yeah…that makes me nervous. The night before the trip, my stomach was in knots but I did my routine and the next morning, I was good to go. It’s not the actual DOING that bothers me…it’s the anticipation. And, sometimes I just have to do the thing and feel the fear.

\n

I’m really excited about the opportunity to take this new camper around. There’s nothing about it that scares me, per se. I may have pre-trip jitters the night before. I may not. Knowing what it is, knowing how to redirect my thinking, knowing just what I need to do helps me feel less out of control and more confident in my own abilities. 

\n

What I want is often on the other side of fear, but that’s exactly what makes the experience so much richer. I know exactly what I had to get through to get there and that makes me brave! After all…so far, I have survived every single experience I’ve encountered in my life!

\n

❤️

\n
“Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.\"”\n

Deuteronomy 31:6 ESV

\n", "date_published": "2019-09-04T01:30:51-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/09/04/the-other-side-of-fear.html", "tags": ["Faith","Health","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","God","Peace","Wisdom","Fear","Aging","Choices","Change","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/09/01/dining-alone.html", "title": "Dining Alone", "content_html": "

\"Dining “Dining alone can be an intimidating experience when you are widowed.”

\n

I saw her walk into the restaurant with the rest of us “early birds”. The waitress came up to her table and handed her a menu.

\n

“Just one?”

\n

I’m sure I’m the only one in the restaurant that saw the shadow of pain skitter across her face.

\n

“Yes.”

\n

“Really?”

\n

sigh

\n

I wanted to smack the perky waitress but decided at some point in the meal, this would become a teaching moment.

\n

When we walked in, there were friends sitting in a booth near the front of the restaurant. They called to us to join them. The woman dining alone sat nearby. Our friends lost their son a couple of years ago. Eventually, our conversation included him…mentioning him by name, telling a funny story or two, comforting her and telling her at two years, it’s still ok to cry. It’s always ok to cry.

\n

The waitress came back to give us our check and I chose that moment to speak to the woman dining alone. We made direct eye contact.

\n

“I remember the first time I went to a restaurant alone after my husband died.”

\n

She looked at me steadily. I recognized the sadness in her eyes. I sat there…many times.

\n

“It doesn’t really help to be asked…’Oh…you’re alone?’ The first time I went to our favorite restaurant, I opened my iPad and pulled up my favorite picture of my husband and propped him up on the table so I didn’t feel so alone.”

\n

“Yes…it’s really hard. Especially when someone comes up to you after a year and a half and asks ‘Where’s Paul?’”

\n

The waitress whirled around. It just dawned on her what had happened. She opened her mouth to say something and I quickly said, “It’s not your fault. You aren’t clairvoyant so you had no way of knowing.” But now she’ll be more aware the next time someone comes in unaccompanied.

\n

As we were leaving, I glanced over at the woman dining alone and gave her a long, knowing look and a gentle smile. She smiled back and waved. 

\n

God moments. He gives us the people we need to help…and to help us.

\n

❤️

\n
“He defends the cause of the fatherless and the widow, and loves the foreigner residing among you, giving them food and clothing.”\n

Deuteronomy 10:18 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2019-09-01T01:30:25-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/09/01/dining-alone.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Growth","Grace","God","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Aging","Choices","Change","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/08/31/like-sands-through-the-hourglass.html", "title": "Like Sands Through the Hourglass...", "content_html": "

\"Comfort “Sending some cheerful hugs, love and prayers to one of my dearest peeps!”

\n

One of my dearest peeps is having a medical issue that will involve a lengthy period of medical treatments. I can’t be with her or give her hugs or bring her casseroles, so I’m doing the next best thing…I’m sending her a little “Comfort Quilt” to stuff in her tote and take to the hospital. I told her when she wraps herself up in it, she can feel my hugs and prayers because I’m putting both in it!

\n

I spent yesterday afternoon at the little quilt shop in town, cutting and sewing the quilt top. The owner and I spent the time chatting and visiting with the other women who came in to shop. When they were all gone, she asked if I would mind if she turned the TV back on. The last time I was there, she had been watching quilt tutorials. I normally hate TV, but anything educational is quite tolerable.

\n

Imagine my surprise when she turned on…wait for it…..Days of Our Lives! I didn’t even know that was still on the air! Well, I’m here to tell you…it is. I haven’t watched soap operas since Daughter #2 was a baby. I usually watched while I folded the laundry. Here’s the crazy thing…

\n

Maggie…Victor…Marlena…they’re ALL still there!!!

\n

And they’ve been stuck in the same wine cellar since 1990!!!

\n

Seriously though…other than people carrying cell phones, you wouldn’t know 29 years had passed. There was one actress on there that plays two characters…one of whom wears those false teeth that made her look like her daddy drank up all the money for her orthodontia. And she had such a grossly over-exaggerated fake southern hick accent that it was insulting. Every word she said made me want to get up and slap her for making fun of me and my people.

\n

Anyway, I finished the quilt top and the shop owner will quilt it on the long arm tomorrow and I can pick it up Tuesday, sew on the binding and get it sent off with lots of love and hugs and prayers for complete healing and minimal side effects. When I get it finished, I’ll post another picture and you can send your prayers and hugs along with mine!

\n

Till then…I hope you have a fun and safe Labor Day Weekend. And, if you’re in the way of the hurricane…please be careful out there!!! Prayers for your health and safety!

\n

❤️

\n
“Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword.....No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.”\n‭‭Romans‬ ‭8:35, 37‬ ‭NIV‬‬
\n", "date_published": "2019-08-31T01:30:08-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/08/31/like-sands-through-the-hourglass.html", "tags": ["Health","Family","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Comfort","Grace","Love","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/08/29/grief-time-grief.html", "title": "GRIEF + TIME = grief", "content_html": "

\"Grief “Grief is a process that varies from person to person…but there are some general similarities.”

\n

The other day I read a Tweet that stopped me in my tracks. A woman said she had cut her two best friends completely out of her life because in the entire year after her niece died, neither one of them bothered to check in with her. Her comment came after someone checked in…a full two years after her tragic loss. He texted her with a very simple message…

\n

“I’m just checking in to see how you are coping after the death of your niece.”

\n

Simple. To the point. And, so welcomed it brought her to tears.

\n

It prompted me to reflect. When was the last time I checked in with my friends who have lost loved ones? I get so wrapped up in my “work”, my “ministry”, with the bereaved, I forget to reach out and connect myself sometimes.

\n

Last night I spent a good two hours writing quick texts to several of my peeps who had lost someone significant in the last couple of years. I heard back from them and the response was universal…”You have no idea what it means to have someone remember to ask how I’m doing!” “Thank you SO much for checking in…it means so much to me!” “My own kids don’t even want to listen!”

\n

It’s true…once a “reasonable amount of time” passes, people move on with their lives. And, unless they have been bereaved, they may not understand that you haven’t. I remember how I felt abandoned. Like no one cared anymore. That isn’t true, of course. They just don’t have a point of reference for the depth of your pain and…it would scare the crap out of them if they believed that depth of pain could possible last more than a few months.

\n

There is no way to compare your own experience with that of another. Your grief is different than my grief. And it doesn’t matter how your person died…your grief is the worst grief ever because it is your own. But truly, I’m here to tell you, there is some grief that I cannot begin to imagine. Like the mother whose son was murdered by terrorists and left to die on the roadside. Or the mother whose daughter was found dead three days after a heroin overdose. Or the wife who returned from the grocery store to find her husband dead on the back porch from a self-inflicted gunshot wound.

\n

There are so many stories in the work that I do. It breaks my heart into little pieces. And, it makes me think, “If he had to die, at least it wasn’t like that!” I find myself feeling grateful it was “only a heart attack.” I didn’t have to watch him slowly fade away from the ravages of cancer.

\n

As I talked to my friend whose son was killed a little over a year ago, I thought back over the years since Mr. Virgo died. And, while there isn’t some neat and tidy delineation from year to year, there is some general sense of first, second, third, etc.

\n

The first year is such a fog. You are numb. You are just trying to get the next thing done, the next paper filed, the next account closed. Closet? Check. Accounts? Check. Cellphone? Check. The first year becomes a blur…a cross between busy and madness.

\n

The second year can be surprisingly rough…like you are standing in high tide during a storm surge. Your footing shifts like the sand beneath you in the ocean. Each wave hitting you blindly, knocking you beneath the surface. And…you can’t swim. Not even close.

\n

At some point along the way…you hear it. A little snippet of music. A little bubble of laughter. A little glimmer of color peeking through a stormy sky. And that’s when the tides begin to shift a little. The waves not quite so hard. Or…maybe we’ve become better swimmers.

\n

For me, the third year gave me a little breathing room. It was a period of exploration and self-discovery. A time of reaching out and stretching beyond my past and stepping a bit more boldly into the future.

\n

The fourth, and beyond, found me building a boat to carry me over the waves till the next storm comes. 

\n

I listened intently to my friend sharing her grief. I asked questions. I resisted the urge to share my experiences except to say the occasional “Yes! I get that…I felt that, too!” It was amazingly comforting to me when I found others shared some of the same things I was experiencing. At some point in our conversation, she asked…

\n

”How is your life?” 

\n

“I feel bad sharing how wonderful my life is when yours sucks so terribly,” I said.

\n

“No…don’t ever feel bad about that! Your story gives me hope!”

\n

And that…in a nutshell…is what keeps me going. It keeps me telling stories…even when you hurt…even when I hurt. Because life keeps going on around us whether our sense of time has stopped or whether death has taken the joy from our hearts. I write about Jesus and faith. I write about grief. I write about pain. I write about love and joy and rocking babies. I write about travel, and camping, and becoming strong. I write about farms and mowing and fried green tomatoes. I write about life and all it’s little bits…both good and bad.

\n

But mostly…I write about hope.

\n

❤️

\n
“You are my refuge and my shield; your word is my source of hope.”\n

Psalms 119:114 NLT

\n", "date_published": "2019-08-29T01:30:48-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/08/29/grief-time-grief.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Love","God","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/08/21/always-choose-joy-unless-you.html", "title": "Always Choose Joy. Unless You Can’t...", "content_html": "

\"Compassion “Here’s to the compassionate people!”

\n

I’ve been on a JOY kick all year. Ok. I get it. I just got married in October and I’m full of the feels. But yesterday, I got a reminder that sometimes…no matter how much you WANT to…joy eludes you for an indeterminate amount of time.

\n

I belong to a few widow’s support groups on Facebook. I have cockily thought to myself from time to time that I certainly don’t NEED a widow’s support group anymore. That is, until I DO. Then I am ever so grateful for those who share and lift each other up, no matter where they land on the grief/time continuum.

\n

There have been times when I read about the desperate sadness we as the bereaved quite normally go through and my heart breaks for them. I think of all the times I didn’t think I could go on. I think of all the wonderful people who supported and loved me through the most horrific event I have experienced up to this moment in time. There were people I didn’t even know…you readers…who lifted me and helped me move forward, even as I tried to lift others. 

\n

But yesterday there was a post that garnered a good deal of pushback and it gave me pause. Basically, this person was saying…just choose joy. That’s a gross simplification, but that was the bottom line. Just choose joy. It made me think about my cheerleading and jumping on the JOY TRAIN and how it may seem dismissive of those who are still in the active throes of grief. 

\n

It’s damned hard to find joy when the person who was so much your SOURCE of joy is no longer here. I know this in the core of my being. When I was in my darkest dark place in grief, I truly felt I would never find a glimmer of happiness in this lifetime again…let alone JOY. And yes…you DO have to make a lot of choices in this new normal. One of them is choosing to keep living. Choosing to keep trying. Choosing to keep moving forward no matter HOW hard it is or lonely or heart breaking. 

\n

We choose to do this for others….our kids, our parents, our friends…even our person who “would want me to live my life”. Eventually, it is my fervent HOPE that we choose to do this for ourselves. 

\n

I have been guilty of using the word “choose” a little too blithely, I’m afraid. And if I have, and it has caused you pain, may I offer my humblest apologies. It is not easy to choose when you are in overwhelming pain. It’s not that I forgot this…but maybe I push it a bit too far out of reach to mentor as effectively as I would like to. 

\n

I want you to have hope. I want you to find joy. I want you to experience good things in your life again. I know it CAN happen…I’m proof. It just needs to happen in its own time. And when you DO experience what passes as joy, it may not look the same as someone else’s and that’s ok. I just wanted you to know…I haven’t forgotten those of you whose hearts are so incredibly crushed. I will strive to always hold a sacred space for you here.

\n

❤️

\n
“My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life.”\n

Psalm 119:50 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2019-08-21T01:30:25-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/08/21/always-choose-joy-unless-you.html", "tags": ["Faith","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","God","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Choices","Change","Widow","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/08/18/let-the-sun-shine.html", "title": "“Let The Sun Shine...”", "content_html": "

\"Woodstock\" “The Ubiquitous Photo from Woodstock”

\n

Fifty years ago this weekend, a gazillion people descended on Mr. Yasgur’s New York farm just five hundred miles from where I grew up. What started out as a ticketed music event soon devolved into chaos as tens of thousands of unticketed hippies made their way into the tiny village of Bethel. The festival had already suffered a last minute change of venue and was seriously short on cash, but there came a point where Woodstock took on a life of its own.

\n

Fifty years have passed. I didn’t go, of course. I was only sixteen and actually didn’t even hear about it till it was on the news. Not that I would have done something so brazen as to defy my parents because I know they never would have allowed me to go. I never even skipped a class in school, let alone run off to a hippy concert five hundred miles away. Still, I marveled at the mass of humanity. And, I liked the music. 

\n

It was such a crazy summer…the Summer of ‘69. The Summer of Love. That’s what we called it. But the older generations thought we young people were out of our minds. Sex, drugs, and Rock & Roll. And now look where we are. I saw a meme today. A grandpa was saying he fought in WWII and built his house with his own two hands. His great grandson said, “Sometimes I put a meme on Facebook and it gets a lot of likes.” That is so sad…and unfortunately, all too true.

\n

We didn’t have the internet in 1969. We didn’t have the news on 24/7/365. We didn’t have violent video games. We didn’t have as many latch key kids and no iPad kids or YouTube kids. Dr. Spock was just beginning to tell us how to raise our kids and to never swat their butts or we would bruise their fragile self-esteems. I’ll tell you what, if I sassed back to my parents, they bruised my “self-esteem” with whatever was handy. I did the same with my kids. Nowadays, you can have your kids taken away for that. And they know it.

\n

I remember Daughter #1 saying she was going to call Child Protective Services because I wouldn’t let her go to a party. I smiled and recited the number to her. Then I took her car keys. It’s hard to parent now. Having the grandkids over this week with their own little ones made me compare how easy I had it compared to what they are facing. And I didn’t have it all that easy. 

\n

After my first divorce, I was a single mom in Denver. My family lived in West Virginia. I didn’t have anyone I could leave the baby with while I went to work. I had to find child care…and pray they wouldn’t hurt my daughter. I lived in HUD housing, on food stamps and WIC. I drove a beat up old Pontiac that I paid some Iranians $200 for. The hood and the trunk were wired closed with coat hangers. All four sides were dented in. I prayed every day I could get to work so I could take care of us. I didn’t have a smart phone and five sets of grandparents to step in when I was overwhelmed.

\n

God knows, I made plenty of mistakes in those early years. It’s a wonder we made it through. The music of 1969 was five years old before my daughter was born. I look back now in awe. I knew I’d be “old” someday. I just thought it would take longer. Oh, sixty-six isn’t OLD, exactly. I sure feel the difference, just in the last couple of years. Mr. FixIt and I work very hard and it’s taking it’s toll. I hurt in places that never hurt before. It takes me a bit to get moving. But, like my husband says…you’ve got to keep moving or you’ll stop.

\n

Fifty years since Woodstock…and there’s a real part of me that genuinely feels a little past my prime. However, I’m about to take a brand new camper wherever I want for five months and write about it! Isn’t that just about the coolest thing? I wouldn’t take who I was in 1969 back for anything! 

\n

“Let the sun shine…let the sun shine in…the sun…shine in!”

\n

❤️

\n
“I think it is right to refresh your memory as long as I live in the tent of this body,”\n

2 Peter 1:13 NIV

\n 

\n", "date_published": "2019-08-18T01:30:25-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/08/18/let-the-sun-shine.html", "tags": ["Faith","Colorado","Family","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Fun","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Humbled","Aging","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/08/13/a-vivid-imagination.html", "title": "A Vivid Imagination", "content_html": "

\"Snow-cone “The moment I saw this, I knew it was the answer to my dream!”

\n

I was probably about ten years old when I got my first (and only) childhood bike for Christmas. I remember lusting after the sleek English racers I saw some of the bigger kids riding. Oooooo, the idea of all those gears and the trendy dropped handlebars and the hand brakes…I could just picture myself tooling around the world, peddling that bike, looking ever so sporty and sophisticated. I had a vivid imagination!

\n

Christmas morning came. I jumped up out of bed in my worn and tattered flannel jammies, and ran to the living room. There, leaning on its kickstand in the middle of the living room, was a brand new shiny blue bicycle! It wasn’t an English racer. It didn’t have any bells and whistles. It was a heavy, single speed monstrosity from Sears with the label “J. C. Higgins”. It was a sturdy, reliable bike and it didn’t take me long to figure out Mom couldn’t afford that trendy bicycle. I was darned lucky to have this one and not some hand-me-down from one of my cousins.

\n

I used to ride that bike all over the neighborhood. The following summer was the first time Mom let us stay home unsupervised. I played outside from first thing in the morning till I needed to be in to start supper before my folks got home from work. I remember having this intense fantasy of riding my bicycle to Canada. I envisioned panniers on the back…before I even knew what panniers were. I pictured what I would pack in there. I had read The Boxcar Children a dozen times so I knew just what I would need to survive on my own.

\n

In my ten-year-old brain, I had it all figured out. I would need money to survive so I would need to either get a job or sell something. The Christmas Wishbook from Sears arrived that fall and I ran to my room with it to figure out how I was going to raise funds for this epic adventure. And there it was! A snow-cone maker!!! My friends and I LOVED snow-cones! I figured if I had one of these babies, I could set up a stand out in front of the house and blow all those Lemonade Stands out of the water. I mean…who could resist a great snow-cone on a hot summer day, right???

\n

I look back at my youthful exuberance and my little girl naïveté and smile. I was sure I would sell a gazillion snow-cones from this cute little plastic gizmo. Just as sure as I would ride my bike to Canada. Well, I never rode my bike to Canada. I didn’t get the snow-cone maker. But I’ve been on lots of adventures. And, I’ve done things I never thought I could do. And now…I’m going to get to have another GRAND adventure and they’re handing me the camper to do it in!

\n

Believe me…I know how blessed I am to get this opportunity. Between now and the middle of September when I pick it up, I need to plan out an epic road trip. I’m thinking it would be really awesome to combine this with several Meet & Greets and get a chance to meet you wonderful “Ranchers” along the way! I’m just in the formulating stage but I’m thinking this could turn out to be….

\n

Ginny McKinney’s R-Pod-196 Adventure!

\n

Stay tuned to Marshmallow Ranch for details as plans fall into place!!!

\n

❤️

\n
“For nothing will be impossible with God.\"”\n

Luke 1:37 ESV

\n", "date_published": "2019-08-13T01:30:30-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/08/13/a-vivid-imagination.html", "tags": ["Family","Travel","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","The Grand Adventure","Fun","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Peace","Humbled","Choices","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/08/12/theres-an-adventure-coming.html", "title": "There’s an Adventure Coming...", "content_html": "

\"Adventure\" “Where will my next adventure take me???”

\n

I’ve been hinting at an adventure coming up for me this fall and now I can tell you a little more about it. The manufacturer of the R-Pod has just come out with a totally new design…the Model 196. This is the first redesign Forest River has done in the ten years since the R-Pod was first released. And, Forest River has very generously donated the very first Model 196 R-Pod off the line to the Girl Campers for our annual trailer raffle!!! Isn’t that exciting???

\n

My good friend, Janine Pettit, will receive the camper in the next couple of weeks. She will be putting a Girl Camper spin on it with some beautiful interior decor. Then, the camper goes to the Hershey RV Show. Janine and I will be at the show on September 14th for a meet and greet and to show off our Girl Camper version of the new R-Pod. After that, we head to Setzer’s RV in Huntington, WV for the big reveal!

\n

At that point, I take over and get to pull this camper wherever I want till the end of January…which of course means I’ll just HAVE to go where it’s warm over the winter! (And, yes…Mr. FixIt gets to come along…for at least part of the trip!) Stay tuned for lots of fun and excitement in the coming months! In the meantime, here is a sneak peek at the “before” in a video Janine made at the Forest River factory. This is a gorgeous camper and I can hardly wait to get her out there on the open road!!!

\n

https://www.facebook.com/janine.pettit.5/videos/10157250788233444?s=1219785470&sfns=mo

\n

 ❤️

\n
“For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.”\n

Psalm 91:11-12 NIV

\n 

\n", "date_published": "2019-08-12T01:30:05-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/08/12/theres-an-adventure-coming.html", "tags": ["Travel","Uplifting Stories","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Camping","Fun","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Peace","Courage","Girl Camper","Girl Campers","Writing","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/08/03/basking-in-the-glow-of.html", "title": "Basking in the Glow of Family", "content_html": "

\"Sunset “The sun goes down on the evening before my baby’s wedding. My heart is full!”

\n

Last night was amazing. Every fear and trepidation I had beforehand dissipated as soon as we pulled into the driveway at Hubby #2’s house. He was so gracious, as was his wife. Their house is stunning. Their dogs are the sweetest things. Daughter #1 and her family were there when we arrived and soon after, my sister- and brother-in-law arrived from Utah. Oh, my gosh! It was so exciting to see them all!

\n

Just before dinner, my daughter and her fiancée arrived and we were a complete family. My brother enjoyed everyone and joined in the conversations. It really was perfect. What I learned from this: When you hand things over to God to take care of…you have to let go of it. I knew as I was driving over from Glenwood Springs…this was going to be good. This was going to be very, very good.

\n

After dinner, Daughter #2 came to me and said, “Mama…I have something for you to do tomorrow. You’re in charge of this…and making sure he has a seat at my wedding.”

\n

With that she handed me a framed photo of Mr. Virgo. She was very close to her stepfather and losing him was so hard on her. The suddenness of seeing his smiling face…so totally unexpected…took my breath away and I started crying. I wasn’t the only one. It was a very special moment and it still makes me tearful as I write this. What a beautiful gesture…what a beautiful God moment….what love…what treasures I have in this family.

\n

My baby is getting married today. My heart is so full! Thank you Jesus for every gift you have given me in this life!

\n

❤️

\n
“Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame. Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot sweep it away. If one were to give all the wealth of one’s house for love, it would be utterly scorned.”\n

Song of Songs 8:6-7 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2019-08-03T01:30:27-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/08/03/basking-in-the-glow-of.html", "tags": ["Faith","Colorado","Family","Travel","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Courage","Choices","Be Joyful!","Widow","Marriage","Wedding"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/07/25/a-glimpse-of-heaven.html", "title": "A Glimpse of Heaven", "content_html": "

\"A “A Glimpse of Heaven in the Colorado Night Sky”

\n

I knew this would happen. I blinked and a month flew by. I left on this journey exactly four weeks ago. Time is such a weird thing after loss. On the one hand…it flies. On the other…it stands still. I got some quality time with my Colorado family. Mr. FixIt has been here almost two weeks already. The package I’ve been expecting for my brother arrived yesterday so now we can pack up and go off on a little adventure on our own before the wedding.

\n

Grandma L. is still hanging in there. She is such a strong woman. She rallies and fades, rallies and fades. They moved her from her apartment at assisted living to a skilled nursing facility on Monday. She had a dream on Tuesday night. At least, she thinks it was a dream. She was lying in bed and her legs felt like stone. But then, she was standing up…strong and vital. She looked around it was so glorious. She saw a crevice and knew she was supposed to jump over it. She knew she COULD. She didn’t see Grandpa right off, but she knew she could find him easily. Instead, she decided to come back and tell us all how absolutely peaceful and grand it is. I love that she could see it all so clearly and she isn’t afraid.

\n

I know she might pass away while we are gone, but I didn’t want to wear her out by adding to the number of visitors going to see her. There are other closer relatives who need to spend time with her. I was able to hug on her last Saturday at her birthday party and she absolutely knows how I feel about her. Her absence will leave a gaping hole for quite some time in the lives of those who knew and loved her.

\n

We all went out for supper last night after they moved everything out of Grandma’s apartment at the assisted living place. There were twelve of us. As I walked back to the table with my food, I paused for a moment and gazed over this beautiful family my daughter was so fortunate to marry into. Another part of my bonus family. We are so blessed…with kids and their kids and us grandparents. We are becoming the matriarchs. I thought it would take longer.

\n

Mr. FixIt and I will head out today for a week of touring the state. We were supposed to do this with the camper, but it’ll all work out without it. I love showing him places he’s never been! So…here we go on another road trip, y’all. Hang on!

\n

❤️

\n
“Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”\n

2 Corinthians 4:16-18 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2019-07-25T01:30:08-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/07/25/a-glimpse-of-heaven.html", "tags": ["Faith","Colorado","Family","Travel","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Aging","Choices","Change","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/07/21/one-small-step.html", "title": "One Small Step", "content_html": "

\"Apollo “One small step…”

\n

It was a sultry summer night…Sunday, July 20, 1969. We had been watching the news over the previous week or so about the astronauts that were going to walk on the moon. I was all of sixteen…that magical age where you’re caught somewhere between Barbies and boys. We didn’t have screens on the windows but it was too hot to leave them closed. We absentmindedly swatted away the mosquitoes as we ate ice cream and stared at the flickering grey screen.

\n

Hippies were preparing for Woodstock. Giggling teenagers were having slumber parties. We were rolling our hair on juice cans and wearing bellbottomed jeans. We popped our gum and knew all about Archie and Veronica’s exploits. Dad would complain about the “yippies” next door playing their drums too loud and the cars that went too fast up our dirt street. A couple of times a week, a Jeep would drive up the road spraying DDT into the neighborhood to keep the mosquito population down to a reasonable level. And once a month or so, a different truck would come and spray oil or tar down on the dusty dirt. The first day out after they sprayed, our bare feet would be covered with a half inch think glob of sandy tar turning our soles into…well, soles.

\n

It was the summer of love. My foster sister was going to school all summer in Athens to get a certificate for preschool education. She wrote me long letters and on the back of each envelope she drew a picture of a bunny and wrote “God Bless Pink Summers ‘69” in an arc above its head. The war in Vietnam was cranking up, but we were young and in love with ourselves and life in general. War was something that happened so far away, it didn’t seem to have anything to do with us. But, in all actuality, we were living in difficult, tumultuous times in this country. We were just too young to really understand it all.

\n

And now, here we were in a darkened room, sweat trickling down our backs, waiting for Neil Armstrong to take “one small step for [a] man…one giant leap for mankind.” I remember being absolutely mesmerized by this amazing feat. This was one of those landmark moments in time. A moment when there was a before and after and nothing would be the same again. It was a unifying event and we all held our collective breath in the moment. 

\n

Here it is…fifty years later. Where did that time go? It seems I blinked and now I have great grandchildren. I’m feeling particularly nostalgic because I am here with my Colorado family. Yesterday we celebrated the 90th birthday of the matriarch of my son-in-law’s family. Grandma’s health has been failing this week but by golly, she rallied yesterday and seventeen of us gathered to shower her with our love and ate strawberry shortcake…her all time favorite. Afterwards, we left Grandma to get some rest and went out to dinner at The Old Spaghetti Factory.

\n

It was one of those days we will remember always…when Grandma’s sun was shining and the moon echoed with the memories of another hot summers’ night, so long ago.

\n

❤️

\n
“it will be established forever like the moon, the faithful witness in the sky.””    Psalm 89:37 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2019-07-21T01:30:08-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/07/21/one-small-step.html", "tags": ["Family","Travel","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Peace","Wisdom","Humbled","Aging","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/07/20/hand-it-over.html", "title": "Hand it Over", "content_html": "

\"2 “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline. 2 Timothy 1:7”

\n

I have struggled with anxiety all of my life. It’s so, so frustrating because I know what it is. I know the feelings are real, but they stem from thoughts. I have a whole toolbox of techniques that I’ve used over the years…some helpful, some decidedly harmful, all of them ineffective to a large degree. It wasn’t until I started studying the Bible looking for answers that I have begun to find some semblance of relief.

\n

I was reading a devotional about anxiety and fear this week and came across something I had never read before but it really struck home. It talked about a secondary effect of anxiety becoming “a fear of fear itself”. That sums it up so distinctly. I really HATE feeling afraid…to the point of fearing the fear. Suddenly, it just all seemed so ridiculous.

\n

The Bible talks a lot about fear and anxiety. So much so that it is apparent these feelings are prevalent in all humans to some degree. For years…decades…I felt weird about my anxiety. Like there was something wrong with me. That I was somehow flawed and no one else had these feelings. Knowing I’m not alone…even Joshua and Mary and countless others were told by God to not be afraid. That is so comforting to me.

\n

I am excited about the upcoming wedding in two weeks. I’m thrilled for my daughter and her happiness. And, it’s hard to tease out the difference between the butterflies of excitement and the quaking of anxiety. It affects me physically the same and my mind can easily take off on a wild tangent which isn’t anywhere I really want to go.

\n

This most recent Bible study I read says whenever the first feelings of anxiety or fear begin to come into your mind, think of a praise instead. Turn on praise music. Sing a praise song. Thank Jesus for waking you up this morning. What I’ve been doing is telling God about all the beautiful things we’re going to do the day of the wedding. I’ve been telling Him about the pretty dresses the girls are wearing. And all the people we’re going to see that we love and don’t get to see often enough. I’ve invited Him to come along with me and to be there right alongside each of us.

\n

There’s so much in life that can change plans at the last minute. There are illnesses in families or some other unforeseen circumstances that you can’t predict. It doesn’t help to be nervous or worried, but it’s hard not to be. As Jesus said, God takes care of the birds and the fields…surely He’ll take good care of us…even in our worst moments.

\n

I hand things over…repeatedly. And, it does get easier and easier to remember to give it to God first before I let my mind jump on the worry train and go off the rails. There will always be something you can worry about. That’s how the enemy steals your joy. And, there are situations in life that you can’t help but let affect you. Things like watching a loved one decline. Losing someone or something special. An unexpected diagnosis or financial difficulty. God wants to walk those paths with you. Reach out your hand and take His. He’s so much bigger than anything that troubles you.

\n

❤️

\n
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”\n

Philippians 4:6-7 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2019-07-20T01:30:30-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/07/20/hand-it-over.html", "tags": ["Faith","Health","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Growth","Grace","God","Peace","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Humbled","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/07/15/a-celebration.html", "title": "A Celebration", "content_html": "

\"Celebrating\" “Celebrating a love…and a life.”

\n

When Mr. FixIt and I got married last October, it was really a rather spur of the moment decision. I didn’t wan’t my kids to have to spend money to come out for the wedding when we were planning a trip to Colorado this summer anyway. So, I told them we would just have a dinner together with those we love and celebrate that way.

\n

Yesterday was our day to celebrate our wedding with our Colorado peeps. Daughter #1 organized it and we had fourteen people over for the same menu we served at the actual wedding…pulled pork sandwiches, coleslaw, chips, and drinks. In lieu of a wedding cake, and the fact that we all need to fit in our pretty dresses in three weeks for Daughter #2’s wedding, we had fruit salad instead of cake.

\n

It was wonderful to have our loved ones around us. I really wanted them to spend some time with Mr. FixIt and get to know him better…and vice versa. It was such a lovely day and everyone had a great time.  And, today is my daughter and son-in-law’s 24th Weddiing Anniversary! Remembering that beautiful day and hoping they have many, many more!

\n

I am so blessed to have these wonderful people in my life.

\n

I ended the day with a note of sadness, however. I found out a sweet friend of mine died after a ten year struggle with cancer. Rae Ann and I connected six years ago after I joined Sisters on the Fly. She was the only Sister in my area. Rae Ann had an infectious laugh, a gravely voice, and was the best storyteller. She could make your sides split without even trying. I had the very good fortune of camping with her several times. The last time was after she found out her cancer could not be cured. She taught me so much about living the life you have to the fullest. She was camping and kayaking up to the last couple of weeks of her life. She will be dearly missed by all who knew and loved her. Rest in peace, Rae Ann. You were a shining example of living in the moment and I celebrate your life today!

\n

❤️

\n
“Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, \"I will never leave you nor forsake you.\"”\n

Hebrews 13:5 ESV

\n 

\n", "date_published": "2019-07-15T01:30:49-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/07/15/a-celebration.html", "tags": ["Colorado","Family","Strong Women","Sisters on the Fly","Positive Energy","Fun","Gratitude","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Warning","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!","Widow","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/07/13/revisiting-memories.html", "title": "Revisiting Memories", "content_html": "

\"Drum “Daughter #2…Marching to her own drum!”

\n

When Daughter #2 was thirteen years old, she and I took off for a three week road trip. It was epic. She was not only in that early teenager mode. We were also working on repairing the damage done from years of depression and too many prescriptions and martinis…not to mention the overdose. It took a lot out of our relationship.

\n

When I arrived in Denver this visit, the ultimate goal is the wedding. My baby is getting married. My little Moon Pie. Only, she’s a full grown woman…out on her own…thriving…dancing to her own drum, as always. We saw each other  the day after I got here and spent several hours visiting and dining out. She made me promise we would do one special thing…just the two of us…before the wedding.

\n

She wanted to go antiquing.

\n

I couldn’t believe my ears. Antiquing? This poor kid was dragged, kicking and screaming, into every antique store in West Virginia, I think. And several between there and Colorado. I loved going to antique stores. She did not. So, this was new. I asked her what brought on this miraculous transformation. 

\n

“I don’t know. Just…suddenly, I find myself looking at antiques online. For fun.”

\n

Ladies and gentleman…there IS life after adolescence!!!

\n

So, yesterday was our antiquing adventure. We started out by having lunch with Daughter #1, Big, and Little. Oh…if you have children, you know what that did to my heart…sitting there with my Colorado kids! ❤️melt After lunch, Daughter #2 and I went to the Brass Armadillo off I-70 and Kipling.

\n

We walked in and she stopped in her tracks. Her eyes widened, her mouth dropped open, and she gasped.

\n

“This place is HUGE!”

\n

Yes, my girl…it is!

\n

We wandered around for three hours. She kept grabbing my arm and pulling me over to see this or that. Lots of oooohs and aaaahs and wows. Several times she wrapped her arms around me and hugged me tight and thanked me so much for doing this with her. That’s when I realized…this was SO much more than going to see a bunch of old stuff.

\n

This was a celebration. Of healing. Of love. Of warm memories shared. Even of forgiveness. This was a bonding ritual…something only she and I could share as the wedding rapidly approaches and her life is forever changed. This was incredibly special. And we enjoyed every minute of it. 

\n

We didn’t get to see 1/4th of the store before we were both fried. We left arm in arm and headed out to the truck. I drove her back to her car. As she prepared to leave she reached over and kissed me on the cheek.

\n

“Thank you, mamacita. That was so much fun!”

\n

You’re welcome, Moon Pie.

\n

❤️

\n
“Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him.”\n

Psalm 127:3 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2019-07-13T01:30:54-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/07/13/revisiting-memories.html", "tags": ["Health","Family","Travel","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Fun","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Aging","Presence","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!","Widow","Wedding"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/07/12/saying-goodbye-to-towwanda.html", "title": "Saying Goodbye to TOW-Wanda!", "content_html": "

\"Camper\" “TOW-Wanda…being towed away to her new life with a boy.”

\n

Night before last, I put the camper on Facebook Marketplace at 10:00. It sold in thirty minutes! And, there were thirty people right behind the guy I sold it to, ready to step up and pay cash. I was shocked. I was forthright in explaining the camper needed work or would be perfect for a backyard she shed, writer’s nook, guest quarters, or kids playhouse. Still, the price and “camper” were enough to bring everyone out of the woodwork seeking a deal.

\n

The first person who said he wanted it was a guy who just got married on the 8th. He was so excited to get the camper, he was knowledgeable and fully understood what it was going to take to get her fixed. He wanted to fix up TOW-Wanda so he could take his son camping. He took a picture and sent it to his dad. Then he FaceTimed with his son and I could hear their excitement.

\n

This guy knew campers. He knew what it would take to really fix her right. I am so glad about that because I was worried someone who didn’t really know about them might get it and not heed my warnings and try to tow it to the mountains. We had a long talk. We negotiated a price that was fair and acceptable to us both. I told him, I could see God’s hand all over this. For me…to learn a valuable lesson about inspecting campers well before you buy them. And for him…to affordably get into a camper that he has the skills to fix so that he can be a good dad to his son. 

\n

Yes…I lost money on the deal. But, no one got hurt…just my pride. And there’s a little boy out there who is going to be one happy camper when he gets to go out in the mountains with his dad. There is no price tag on the making of a man.

\n

❤️

\n
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”\n

Jeremiah 29:11 NIV

\n 

\n", "date_published": "2019-07-12T01:30:35-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/07/12/saying-goodbye-to-towwanda.html", "tags": ["Travel","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","TOW-Wanda!","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Humbled","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/07/06/here-comes-the-rain-again.html", "title": "Here Comes the Rain Again!", "content_html": "

\"East “Looking east as the sun set over Arvada.

\n

I think I brought the rain with me from West Virginia. We got about an inch of rain in two days in the northwest suburbs of Denver. It dropped from the mid 80’s to 75…then in thirty minutes it dropped down to 60 degrees. Lots of small, pea sized hail but no damage that I can see.

\n

Along with Colorado’s severe thunderstorms, California had a 7.1 earthquake aftershock last night, Europe is having an unprecedented heat wave, and West Virginia just sits and soaks in sweat. It’s crazy weather. I hope things settle down soon. It’s downright chilly here right now.

\n

I’ve been “camping” at Ben & Sue’s house. We pulled the camper back under a locust tree for some little bit of protection from the elements. When you are in the camper, even pea and marble-sized hail sounds like a gunshot. Little is going to come join me and “camp” tonight. I had to tell her the camper is broken so we can’t go to the mountains like we wanted to. She is so easy going. She said she didn’t care where we camped, as long as we were together!

\n

I’m sad I’ll be saying goodbye to this camper sometime this month. It has such a beautiful layout and is pristine inside. I know the right person will come along and be so happy to get her to place on a piece of property or in the back yard. I’ll just keep praying about it. Mr. FixIt put the title in the mail to me today so I should receive it Monday or Tuesday.

\n

My sweet man arrives in Colorado a week from today! I can hardly wait to see him!!! He’ll be at the baby shower today for our little great grandson due this month. We got him a crib. I’m so sorry I’ll be missing that but I’m busy making memories here!

\n

❤️

\n
“He loads the clouds with moisture; he scatters his lightning through them. At his direction they swirl around over the face of the whole earth to do whatever he commands them. He brings the clouds to punish people, or to water his earth and show his love.”\n

Job 37:11-13 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2019-07-06T01:30:31-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/07/06/here-comes-the-rain-again.html", "tags": ["Colorado","Family","Travel","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","Fun","Growth","Gratitude","Love","Peace","Humbled","Presence"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/07/05/hail-hailthe-gangs-all-here.html", "title": "Hail, Hail...The Gang’s All Here!", "content_html": "

\"Lilies\" “The beauty of sunshine and lilies.”

\n

Daughter #2 and I got a chance to spend a few hours together yesterday. We had coffee at the house then went shopping at Target. Man, that store has changed since the last time I went there. I used to shop Target all the time, but we don’t have one anywhere near where we live in West Virginia. After shopping at Walmart all these years, Target looks like an upscale department store.

\n

We went out to breakfast at Sam’s No. 3…a wonderful diner in Cherry Creek that has the most extensive menu I think I have ever seen. Eggs Benedict was my choice yesterday and it was divine. If you ever go to Denver and get to spend any time there, you really should go.

\n

We had a big family gathering with those who were in town yesterday. Lots of food and homemade ice cream. The fireworks were going off all around us. And Mother Nature provided some of her own! We had two big storms blow through with a tornado watch and lots of hail. It did succeed in cooling things off immensely, which was very nice.

\n

I showed the girls the dresses I’ve bought that I could wear to the wedding and we all agreed on one. Also, I gave them the quilt I made for their wedding gift and they loved it! It was a beautiful day with my Colorado family. 

\n

❤️

\n
“Listen to your father, who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old.”\n

Proverbs 23:22 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2019-07-05T01:30:30-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/07/05/hail-hailthe-gangs-all-here.html", "tags": ["Colorado","Family","Travel","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Fun","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Forgiveness","Aging","Presence","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/07/02/the-motherdaughter-dance.html", "title": "The Mother-Daughter Dance", "content_html": "

\"Happy “I am a Happy Camper!”

\n

I danced with my mother. Not literally…but figuratively we went round and round and round. She always knew I loved her and I knew she loved me right back. I made sure of that. But we aggravated the heck out of each other more than I care to admit. We were still moving in that circle when she died rather suddenly at the age of seventy-eight. By that time, my own daughters were well on their way to dancing with me.

\n

My older daughter was very pregnant with my mother’s first great-grandchild and couldn’t come to her grandma’s funeral. I didn’t bring my younger daughter either because she was only nine and in school. I traveled to mom’s funeral alone half the way, meeting up with my Aunt Rosie in the Charlotte Airport for the last flight in.

\n

I have good girls. They are as different as night and day and are often like oil and water, but deep down they love each other because they are sisters. I wasn’t always a very good mother to them. There was that long stretch when I was deeply depressed and nearly non-functional. I drank too much and I took too many prescription drugs. When I overdosed, it ripped the fabric of our relationship and I feared I would never, ever get them back.

\n

We danced our own dance. We went round and round and we didn’t know how to reach each other. I hurt them in ways I couldn’t even begin to fathom till I got well. Then I had to rebuild their trust in me. It was hard, painful work. There were times I was absolutely certain they hated me. But they didn’t really. I wasn’t the only one who had to learn who this new version of me was.

\n

I watch Daughter #1 with her kids. I watch her face some of the same issues I faced and she handles them so much better than I did because she has a wonderful, stable marriage she isn’t also struggling to fix. I love watching her with the girls. Big is learning to drive. She is tall and athletic…a swimmer. She is bright and accomplished and dedicated. Little is part mini-me…part mini-mom. She is petite and eclectic…artistic and sensitive…bright and compassionate. She is a little shooting star.

\n

Last night, I sat at swim practice with Daughter #1 and talked for a couple of hours. It was the first time in a long time that I felt like I didn’t have to hold my breath out of fear I’d say or do the wrong thing and not be the mom I should be. That is baggage I am happy to set down. I knitted while we chatted. There was a warm, easy acceptance that flowed between us and I realized I could relax now. We’re ok. It was a long storm, but we weathered it. We’re better with each other. My heart felt full.

\n

Her kids are older now. She’s had some experience with life that she hadn’t had back when I let them down. I think she gets me a little better these days. We’re all a little older, a little wiser, a little softer. I think now, our dance is sweeter.

\n

❤️

\n
“\"Behold, everyone who uses proverbs will use this proverb about you: 'Like mother, like daughter.'”    Ezekiel 16:44 ESV
\n", "date_published": "2019-07-02T01:30:51-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/07/02/the-motherdaughter-dance.html", "tags": ["Colorado","Family","Travel","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Aging","Presence","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/06/30/americas-bread-basket-is-baking.html", "title": "America’s Bread Basket is Baking!", "content_html": "

\"Snaps “Clockwise from top left: My rig in the summer sun in Kansas, the long straight stretch that is Kansas…look how green!, my digital laser thermometer that I use to check my hub temperatures at every stop, me looking decidedly fresher in the AM than I was by evening!”

\n

You know you are getting into farm and ranch land when you start seeing billboards advertising bovine genetics and DEKALB seed corn. I left the Lazy Day Campground in Danville, Missouri yesterday morning about 8:00. It was a very long, very HOT day. A section of I-70 was closed at Kansas City so I took the recommended detour. I recognized it as the route I usually take anyway to avoid downtown. There is one interchange on the interstate near the city where you have to get from the right hand side onramp to a left hand side exit in less than 1/4 mile. Pulling a camper makes that a real challenge, let me tell you!!! At least it wasn’t with big TOW-Wanda on a Friday night at rush hour. We have to look for the little things!

\n

When I was emptying the tanks on the camper before I left yesterday, it wasn’t 8:00 yet and the sun would take the hide right off of you. The temperature quickly soared to the high 90’s and by the time I was halfway through Kansas, it was 100. The low was only expected to go down to 80 so I stopped and got a hotel room. When I first got in the room, I cranked up the air conditioner and stretched out on the bed. I texted Mr. FixIt and said, “I am NEVER doing this again!!!” He texted back that I don’t have to. I’m holding him to it! 

\n

Ok, it was the third day. It was hard. It was hot. I was tired and probably a little hungry and dehydrated. And knowing I have over 350 more miles to go had me feeling really sorry for myself there for a few minutes. But, once I rested for a while and got something to eat and drink, I felt a ton better. When I stop tonight, it’s going to be at my son-in-law’s parents’ house so I’ll be with family. It’s going to take me a week to rest up and acclimate to the altitude. Mr. FixIt will join me on the 13th so that time will pass quickly.

\n

I had a lot of time to think about this as I was driving yesterday. I don’t like being this far away from Mr. FixIt. I thought about that from every angle. I asked myself if it was co-dependency. I don’t think it’s that at all. I do all kinds of things without him and I don’t need to be attached at the hip. I talked with my dear friend Deneene about this last night. She lost her husband unexpectedly about a year after Mr. Virgo died. She is also recently remarried. We decided it’s not co-dependency at all. It’s the fact that we KNOW what can happen and how quickly it can come. I don’t think it’s that I’m doing something without him. It’s that I’m doing something so far away from him and I can’t get to him quickly. THAT I don’t like at all.

\n

Still, it is fun in many ways. I’ve seen some beautiful countryside. The sky was blue and wide open. I’ve forgotten what that looks like living in West Virginia. (I took the picture while driving but my phone was in a cradle and all I did was touch the screen. No eyes off the road for me!) I don’t have anything pressing to do once I get to Denver so I can relax and catch up on my rest, keep myself really hydrated to counteract the altitude, knit, write, and visit with my Colorado peeps. I could not believe how green Kansas is. They had the same long, drawn out, wet spring everyone else had. It is so hard to believe the temperature is in the high 90’s in Colorado and one week ago they had two feet of snow. Crazy weather!

\n

Oh, see that picture bottom right? That’s my digital laser thermometer. After burning up an axle in Indiana two summer ago, I check my hubs religiously…every time I stop and get out of the truck. I know you can just put your hand down there and feel if it’s hot, but how hot is too hot and if it IS that hot, you’ll burn the heck out of your hand. I keep watch on it and it’s always between 100-110. That’s perfect. If it goes up, it means the bearings need grease.

\n

Well, I’m on the last leg of this Grand Adventure. The last leg of the first part of it, anyway! It’s just me and Jesus…making our way west!

\n

❤️

\n

“….“The Lord watch between you and me, when we are out of one another’s sight.”

\n

Genesis 31:49 ESV

\n

#Separation, #Marriage, #Adventure

\n", "date_published": "2019-06-30T01:30:10-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/06/30/americas-bread-basket-is-baking.html", "tags": ["Faith","Travel","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","The Grand Adventure","Fun","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Aging","Choices","Change","Widow","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/06/25/road-trip-falling-into-place.html", "title": "Road Trip: Falling Into Place", "content_html": "

 

\n

\"Tonneau “Tonneau Cover for a Pickup”

\n

My old truck had a fiberglass topper on it. It was really nice. I had the top lined with a carpet liner as well as a carpet bed liner. I had a couple of garment rods, a light, and two 12v outlets installed as well. It had a rack on the roof for my kayak. It was a sweet setup. Then, when my truck was totaled, the topper and all it’s accouterments went with it.

\n

My new-to-me truck just has a plastic bed liner. There have been many times I have wished I had some way to tote things on my trips without necessarily having them visible to anyone who parks right beside us. I happened to mention this to Mr. FixIt the other day. He doesn’t forget things like this. We’ll get back to that in a minute.

\n

A lot of things fell into place yesterday. First, we thought we might need new tires before I head to Denver. Mr. FixIt called all around and finally found a suitable pair for a reasonable price at Sam’s, but still…mounted and balanced…four tires were going to cost nearly $800! A chunk of change, to be sure. That’s the price of owning a truck.

\n

We signed in at the tire desk, ordered the four tires, and paid for them. It was going to take about two hours so we started wandering around the store. About ten minutes later, they paged me overhead and we went back to the auto department. It turns out, I had a little over half the tread left on the tires and he didn’t want me to buy something I didn’t need.

\n

How refreshing! Thank you, Brandon!

\n

I did ask them, since they already had the truck back there, to please rotate the tires so they did that. As we were looking around the store, Mr. FixIt got a text. He said he had found a used tonneau cover for my truck for $150. I texted the woman selling it. She asked if I could also use a carpet bed liner! Well, yes…as a matter of fact. She then went on to tell me she was sick and tired of advertising stuff and if I wanted them both, she would sell them together for $75. Score! Now I can have a cover over my stuff during the Colorado trip.

\n

We went to pick up our mail at the post office and there was my new water pump for the camper. Mr. FixIt can get that put in for me today, I can clean out my camper and restock it, run to town, change the oil on the truck, and leave for my trip west…maybe on Wednesday! I am really looking forward to seeing my kids and grandkids so if everything lines up like this, I’ll be on my way sooner rather than later.

\n

Another road trip, Ranchers! Head ‘em up…move ‘em out!

\n

❤️

\n
“The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.”\n

Proverbs 16:9 ESV

\n", "date_published": "2019-06-25T01:30:20-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/06/25/road-trip-falling-into-place.html", "tags": ["Family","Travel","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","The Grand Adventure","Fun","Gratitude","Peace","Wisdom","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/06/24/the-simple-things.html", "title": "The Simple Things", "content_html": "

\"Tractor “My birthday present…a shade for the tractor!”

\n

Mr. FixIt and I were in Florida on my birthday. Like most men…smart men, anyway…he wanted me to tell him what I would like for my birthday. I told him, if I were younger, I would dearly love to have a chainsaw. He smiled. I told him all the great things I would do with a chain saw. The only thing is, I don’t have the upper body strength to do much with a chain saw anymore. So it was a rather moot point.

\n

I couldn’t think of anything else. I don’t need tchotchkes. I like to buy my own clothes. I don’t need jewelry or anything fancy. Experiences are the best, but I was even drawing a blank for that. Finally, I told him there would come a moment when I would know exactly what I would like to have for my birthday and he could buy it then.

\n

After church yesterday, we stopped at Lowes to pick up some dust masks so I can mow without worrying about getting another sinus infection. While we were there, I turned to Mr. FixIt. 

\n

“Do they make some sort of umbrella or something to put on the riding mower so when I’m out mowing, I’m not sitting out in the hot sun?”

\n

“I’m sure they do, sweetheart. Let’s go look.”

\n

We came around the corner to the riding mower display and there, before my very eyes, was exactly what I wanted! My husband always looks at me in a rather bemused way…as though I’m some sort of strange and exotic creature he’s never seen before. And, I suppose in a way, I am. He has never known a woman who would want a sunshade for the riding mower as her birthday present.

\n

When we got home, he put my shade together and…unfortunately…there was a piece that was broken on it. I managed to fiddle with it and made it work yesterday while I was mowing, but we will return it for one that isn’t broken. It worked really well. The only think is, you have to be really careful when you are going under trees because the low hanging limbs will knock it down. 

\n

When I finished mowing, I came around the corner and Mr. FixIt was in the pool cleaning it out so that when I was done, I could take a refreshing dip. What a sweet man! Afterward, we went to the local pizza joint. We ran into my cousins and visited with them while we ate. It was a perfect, sunny summer day. My grandma would have declared we are “knee deep in June.” She would have been absolutely correct!

\n

❤️

\n
“While the earth remains, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night, shall not cease.\"”\n

Genesis 8:22 ESV

\n", "date_published": "2019-06-24T01:30:28-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/06/24/the-simple-things.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Fun","Gratitude","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Aging","Choices","Be Joyful!","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/06/20/memories-of-a-disaster.html", "title": "Memories of a Disaster", "content_html": "

\"Shuttle “A piece of the Space Shuttle Challenger.”

\n

On January 28, 1986, Hubby #2 and I were driving from the airport in Eau Claire, Wisconsin to Sparta for a job interview. He had just finished his residency and was asked by a friend to come join his practice. As we settled into the drive, I flipped on the radio and heard the terrible news. The Space Shuttle Challenger had exploded during liftoff killing the entire crew. We were devastated.

\n

I think we all had an extra soft spot for the Challenger crew because of Christa McAuliffe, the first citizen to go into space….the first TEACHER to go into space. My daughter was young. She had bright, young teachers. The thought of one of them stepping froward to selflessly show students what you can achieve when you apply yourself struck a chord with every parent in the country.

\n

We went to the Kennedy Space Center yesterday after a quick stop at Starbucks. When Mr. FixIt asked what I wanted to do with our day, I told him that was where I wanted to go. On the way down, I mentioned that it had been 25 years since I had been there. He said no, that I had been there with him two years ago.

\n

All the way down, I kept asking him questions about it. I know I had my accident six months before that but surely I would have remembered being there. When we drove in, I looked all around and kept saying nothing looked familiar. It was beginning too scare me. I mean, we all begin to lose some mental acuity at a certain age, but this was a total blank.

\n

After about the fifth time, I insisted I had never been there, we settled it by looking in our phones. Sure enough, we had not. However, we did remember what happened. We were actually going to go the the Space Center one morning when we received a frantic call that Mr. Virgo’s son-in-law was in the hospital in critical condition. Within an hour, we had cleaned the condo, packed the truck, and were rushing home.

\n

The Space Shuttle Memorial has a long hallway with individual displays of carefully chosen memorabilia for each astronaut…the Challenger Crew to the left, the Columbia Crew to the right. Christa McAuliffe’s display is the final one on the left. Once you walk down the hallway and turn to the right, there is a dimly lit room with a piece of the recovered shuttle behind glass.

\n

As I stood there alone, I let the somber weight of the moment flow over me. I was in the presence of where they lived last…where SHE lived last. My heart ached for her family…she left behind a son and daughter, ages nine and six, respectively. My heart ached for all the school children watching the launch live on TV that morning. My heart is much more tender since Mr. Virgo died.

\n

Mr. FixIt walked up behind me and gently placed his arm around my waist. He knew. Maybe it’s the way I hold myself. Maybe it was just the church-like solemnity of the room. Maybe, like me, he was thinking back to what he was doing that day. Maybe he hugged his babies a little tighter that night, too.

\n

We finally moved on to other displays and eventually headed toward the parking lot. As we pushed the door open, we were met with heavy skies and severe thunderstorm warnings on our phones. We looked at the sky, then each other, then back to the sky. There was no way we were going to make it to parking lot six before those clouds opened up.

\n

We elected to buy a snack and sit it out under cover. We had another one of those car wash rains I’ve become fairly familiar with this trip. As soon as it lightened up enough, we headed to the truck as soon as we could. We stopped on the way home at a Cuban-Mexican restaurant and I had the best fish tacos with mango salsa! I haven’t had them that good since the last time I was in Mexico.

\n

So, our trip is winding down. We need to do the housekeeping things you do when you stay at someone else’s home. We’ll pack up and take all but what we need tonight and stow it in the truck. Then tomorrow morning, we’ll head back to West Virginia. As I write this tonight though, I am sitting in the big chair, curled up, with the sliding glass door open so I can hear the waves crashing on the beach not one hundred steps away. The sea breeze is freshened by the evening rain and it feels cool on my skin. It’s time to go home.

\n

❤️

\n
“You rule the raging of the sea; when its waves rise, you still them.”\n

Psalms 89:9 ESV

\n", "date_published": "2019-06-20T01:30:43-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/06/20/memories-of-a-disaster.html", "tags": ["Travel","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Wisdom","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/06/15/facebook-memories.html", "title": "Facebook Memories", "content_html": "

\"Home “The Storm King House”

\n

Oh, sometimes those memories that pop up on your timeline are killers, aren’t they? On my birthday, five years ago, I put my Colorado house on the market. I bought this house when Hubby #2 and I split up. It was about a third built and I chose my colors, carpeting, cabinets and countertops, and all the plumbing and lighting fixtures. Even though Daughter #2 was only eleven years old, she spent three weeks at a time with each of us. It was, essentially, the first time I’d ever lived sort of alone.

\n

I was so proud of the house. I did the landscaping myself…laying sod, planting trees and flowers. This was before the days of “TOW-Wanda” so my little house was my sanctuary. I decorated like girls lived there…because, they did. I had green and white striped sofas and lots of florals. No TV. The antique rolltop desk that my uncle left to me when he died sat where an entertainment center was supposed to go.

\n

I didn’t have curtains. I needed all the light I could get. I loved that house. Then, Mr. Virgo came along. Six months after he moved into the house, he diplomatically asked if I had ever given any thought to redecorating. I think the fru-fru girly stuff was getting to his mountain man sensibilities. I acquiesced and when we were married, we got rid of all the furniture and started over.

\n

A friend of mine was moving to Hilton Head and didn’t want to take the furniture from her million dollar house, so I bought about $25,000 worth of furniture from her for $4,000. We painted the first floor living area as loft gold, hung tapestry valances, and brought in the new furniture. We had the painting behind the dining room table done by a Colorado artist. And we found the breakfast table and chairs at a local furniture store.

\n

I felt so….grown up. All this sophisticated furniture with my homey touches of family antiques filled my heart. I really, REALLY loved my house. 

\n

Then Mr. Virgo died. We had just refinanced the house five months before he died. In order to give us flexibility with payments, we went with a thirty year mortgage with the understanding we would pay it off quickly when we were flush and still stay afloat on the lean months. Now I was faced with a tenth of the income and a mortgage that wouldn’t be paid off till I was ninety years old!

\n

I quickly began to hate the house. It needed new carpet, new windows, new appliances, new paint. It was nickel and dime-ing me to death. And there were memories around every corner. I couldn’t stand it. I stayed away as much as I could. They tell you not to make any major decisions in the first year after losing your spouse. So, I waited till the next summer and decided to sell. 

\n

I wouldn’t change a thing, really. I made my decisions based on what I was faced with in the moment. I suppose, maybe I could have kept the house and rented it out, but that just presents a whole different set of problems. We went through that when we rented it out for three years while we worked around the state. In reality, it would have been cumbersome.

\n

Do I miss it? I don’t know…I look at these pictures and remember how beautiful it was. I remember all my stuff I had in it. I think the thing I miss the most is that great front porch. But that is not the life I live now. That was then. This is now. I have a life now that I wouldn’t trade for the world. And, when we build our retirement home, we can make it any way we want it. And I’ll have a big front porch just like this one. That’s the one thing I’ll ask for special.

\n

Facebook Memories….sometimes they blindside you. Sometimes they show you’re right where you’re supposed to be. 

\n

❤️

\n
“For every house is built by someone, but God is the builder of everything.”    Hebrews 3:4 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2019-06-15T01:30:16-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/06/15/facebook-memories.html", "tags": ["Colorado","Family","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Growth","Gratitude","Wisdom","Courage","Downsizing","Choices","Change","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/06/13/happy-birthday.html", "title": "Happy Birthday!", "content_html": "

\"Night “Happy Birthday, to ME!”

\n

June is my birthday month. 

\n

I love June. I love my birthday. So I just combine them and celebrate the whole month!

\n

After sleeping twelve hours straight on Tuesday night, Mr. FixIt and I went down to the beach and walked then played in the pool for a while. After lunch, I took a three hour nap. Seeing a trend there? It’s all about ME ‘cause it’s my birthday month!

\n

Just as I woke up, Mr. FixIt walked in to make sure I didn’t sleep too long and not be able to sleep later. Then he asked me that question every woman longs to hear.

\n

“How would you like to go eat ice cream for dinner?”

\n

Back off girls…I saw him first!

\n

Yes, ladies…I have married the perfect man. Not only does he celebrate my birthday with me for a month…but he also takes me out for an ice cream dinner. Sexiest man alive.

\n

After a dinner of butter pecan in a chocolate dipped waffle cone, we drove around. We shopped at a couple of Mr. FixIt’s stores. We found Aldi’s and picked up a few groceries. Wonderful strawberries for a dollar.

\n

A simple day…Birthday Eve.

\n

Today is my actual birthday.

\n

Sixty-six. Wow. Why does it sound so much older than sixty-five?

\n

Some of the grandchildren were over Monday evening before we left. I told them how old I was going to be.

\n

“Sixty-six! Can you believe that? It has been half a century since I was sixteen! Half a century!!! You know that’s fifty years, right???”

\n

My wise grandson-in-law said, “Did it go fast?”

\n

How do you answer that? Yes…it flew by in a nanosecond! No, it lasted forever! It’s both.

\n

It’s the coolest thing…to be sixteen plus fifty. I was sixteen in 1969…the summer of love. “God Bless Pink Summers ‘69!” That’s how my best friend signed her letters when she was off at a summer internship. Woodstock. Rock and Roll. Hippies. Bell bottoms. Long hair. 

\n

I thought I was free. 

\n

I was so wrong.

\n

It took living those fifty years to actually BECOME free. Funny how that works. I’d hate to have gone through all that and not learned the beautiful, hard, gritty, wonderful lessons involved. 

\n

Sixty-six. Nope, that doesn’t bother me a bit. 

\n

I’m a crone now. I love that!

\n

Happy Birthday to ME!

\n

❤️

\n
““ ‘ “The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace.” ’”    Numbers 6:24-26 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2019-06-13T01:30:17-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/06/13/happy-birthday.html", "tags": ["Faith","Travel","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Fun","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Aging","Choices","Change","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/06/10/van-life.html", "title": "Van Life", "content_html": "

\"Conversion “One of our Girl Campers brought her conversion van to camp in. We were sold!”

\n

My dear friend Gail has a conversion van that is tricked out like a camper. It’s currently in the camper hospital so she camped in a tent this time. But one of the other gals brought her conversion van and was kind enough to give me a peek inside.

\n

I can see now why van girls love these so much! There is a lot you can pack into a small space. Christy has hers in soft pastels and cream, making the space seem much larger. She uses her Yeti cooler as extra seating. She has a whole kitchen crammed in this little cabinet. 

\n

This really got my creative juices flowing and I was thinking of all the things I can do to the minivan when I get ready to convert it. The only downside I could see is no air conditioner. She does have a 12v fan she can use, but I’m thinking I would be limited to spring and fall excursions.

\n

Christy spend five weeks at Quartzite, Arizona in the winter and never felt claustrophobic in this setup. She is thinking she would like to take it on the road full-time. I belong to a few Facebook groups that focus on the van life. It’s intriguing…but a little too confining for two.

\n

Anyway, someone asked to see the van…so here she is! Enjoy!

\n

❤️

\n
“It’s better to live in a hut in the wilderness than with a crabby, scolding spouse!”    Proverbs 21:19 TPT
\n", "date_published": "2019-06-10T01:30:34-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/06/10/van-life.html", "tags": ["Travel","Uplifting Stories","Strong Women","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","Fun","West Virginia","Growth","New Ideas","Gratitude","Comfort","goRVing","Peace","Wisdom","Presence","Girl Camper","Girl Campers","Choices","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/06/06/one-hour-thirtyfive-dollars-a.html", "title": "One Hour \u0026 Thirty-Five Dollars = A Haircut", "content_html": "

\"Woman “Before and After…what a difference a haircut makes!”

\n

I haven’t really felt like my perky self for a while. Nothing I could really put my finger on. Maybe a little tired. Maybe a little down about aging. I’ve been losing weight but avoiding the mirror. It didn’t really dawn on me till I saw pictures from the baptism a couple of weeks ago and I was up on the stage with my bonus granddaughter. Gasp! I looked SO old! I looked like my grandma. Not that that is a bad thing, but I’m talking in her 80’s. I was in desperate need of a haircut!

\n

I always celebrate birthday month…not just a week or a weekend or a day. Nope…I was born in June…I celebrate JUNE! This month I turn 66. It’s only a number. I have more energy than I did at half my age. I remember when I turned 26. I was SO depressed! It had been a WHOLE DECADE since I got my driver’s license. Give me a break! Now it’s been half a century since I got my driver’s license. insert eye roll here

\n

No, it wasn’t my actual calendar age that was getting to me. It was my hair. I got lazy. I got tired of going in every six weeks and getting it cut. I got tired of sometimes having the perfect cut and other times wondering what went wrong. I got tired of spending the money on something that you just have to do over and over and over. 

\n

It’s not my fault really. I saw beautiful older women on Pinterest…long flowing locks of silver hair caressing unnaturally perky breasts. Stylishly dressed. Leaning against brick buildings in downtown New York City….their jacket carelessly draped across their shoulders…their chunky boho jewelry and oversized sunglasses deflecting my gaze from anything that could barely be called crepe-y skin. No…Pinterest assured me I would look uber chic with long, silver hair.

\n

Then, I took a look at myself and wondered what on earth possessed me to do such a thing. Me…in my JCPenney sleeveless summer dress made from t-shirt material. Me…of the ample upper arms and comfortable tummy. Me…of the “I know I have makeup SOMEWHERE in this house!” Me…of the Chacos and farmer tan and clip-on sunglasses and floppy brimmed had and a riding mower. Yeah…it was time for a reality check.

\n

I called Michelle on Tuesday and cried uncle. I said, “You win! I’m coming in to cut it off!” I’m almost sure I heard an audible sigh of relief from the other end of the phone. “How’s tomorrow at 11:00?” She didn’t want to wait too long for fear I might change my mind.

\n

An hour. Thirty-five dollars. That’s all it took to bring back my sparkle. It’s really true…if you LOOK good, you FEEL good. I walked out of there feeling like a million bucks! It’s such a simple thing…getting a haircut. Oh, and a pedi. A MUCH needed pedi. I hadn’t had a “Me Day” for such a long time. It was way overdue and I feel so much better.

\n

I sent the before and after photos to Mr. FixIt with a note…”Here’s the girl you fell in love with!” And you wanna know what he said?

\n

“You’re beautiful…but, I didn’t fall in love with your hair.”

\n

My cheeks hurt from smiling.

\n

❤️

\n
“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.”    1 Peter 4:8 NIV
\n \n", "date_published": "2019-06-06T01:30:12-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/06/06/one-hour-thirtyfive-dollars-a.html", "tags": ["Health","Family","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Aging","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!","Widow","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/05/28/praying-for-others.html", "title": "Praying for Others", "content_html": "

\"Praying “Praying for others is the key to freedom.”

\n

As time passes, my daughter’s wedding is looming in the forefront of my mind. What to wear? Well, I’ve bought three dresses…so far. It depends what suits me that day, I think. The event seems to be fast and loose so I’m not terribly worried about that part. 

\n

As I headed into this, the idea of being the mother of the bride…for the last time really…filled me with delicious anticipation mixed with bits of trepidation. Her father and I have mended a lot of fences over the years and I am so proud of the way we can demonstrate good behaviors for our kids and grandkids. Long gone are the angry jabs at each other over a love gone awry.

\n

I overcame the majority of the pain, anger, and resentment through fervent prayer and good therapy. Prayer was my tool. I prayed my family would be healed. I prayed the father of my child would find joy and happiness with the woman he chose. The more I prayed for HIM, the happier I became.

\n

That being said, the enemy loves to sneak in and tell me lies. He loves to remind me I’ve gained a few pounds and my ex-husband will notice. He loves to make me second guess myself and be self conscious of my body and my dress choice. He loves to whisper in my ear and tell me if I would have been a better wife, that great big estate my ex owns could have been mine.

\n

Lies. They are all lies. I could have been the best wife in the history of the universe and the marriage could have still fallen apart. I’m not taking 100% of that one. I’ll comfortably accept my 50%. If I even consider my weight as being something my ex would judge me for, I’m setting myself up for failure and disappointment. 

\n

Here’s the thing…if we look for something, we WILL find it. If I look for judgement, I’ll feel judged. If I look for criticism, I’ll feel criticized…even if it’s subconsciously. And, as soon as I feel those things, I’ll react defensively. That whole scenario is a totally no win situation. Nothing good can come from that.

\n

Recently I read about a technique for recognizing the cycle of anxiety and stopping it in its tracks. The premise is, as soon as you feel the very first sensations of anxiety…even if it’s just the thought of feeling anxious…you pull back and become the observer. Recognize what is happening and say to yourself…”Hmmmm, that’s interesting. I’m having a feeling that stemmed from a thought. It is just a thought.” Then, you picture surrounding that thought in a bubble, reach out, and poke it with your finger.

\n

Poof!

\n

When you can recognize what anxiety really is, it’s much easier to step back, give it a poke, and send it on it’s way. It has been working quite well in the last few months. One would think, at the ripe age of 66 (in about three weeks), I’d have gotten a handle on anxiety long before now. Sometimes it’s the fear of having an anxiety attack that brings it on. It’s crazy…but it’s quite real.

\n

This wedding isn’t about me. His house isn’t about me. My weight isn’t even completely about me in that it was caused by taking steroids twice this year. I’m the only me I have. I am the only mom my kids have. The only Nana for my grands. I am my husband’s queen. He will think I am scrumptious no matter what I’m wearing or where I sit. 

\n

This is such a relief…to let go of fear. The fear of rejection. The fear of not being good enough. The fear of doing or saying something wrong. 

\n

I am enough. I have always been enough.

\n

 Dang…I love my sixties!

\n

❤️

\n
“But the moment one turns to the Lord with an open heart, the veil is lifted and they see. Now, the “Lord” I’m referring to is the Holy Spirit, and wherever he is Lord, there is freedom.”\n

2 Corinthians 3:16-17 TPT

\n", "date_published": "2019-05-28T01:30:31-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/05/28/praying-for-others.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Aging","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!","Marriage","Wedding"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/05/27/memorial-day.html", "title": "Memorial Day 2019", "content_html": "

\"George “He was a soldier. He was a son.”

\n

They called him Sonny. He was their bright ray of sunshine. Smart, sensitive, talented, destined to go far. When Grandma and Pop-Pop got the telegram that their Sonny was gone, part of them died in that moment as well. People said they were never the same. I wouldn’t know what they were like before. I was not yet two when Sonny’s plane went down.

\n

Sometimes I think I remember him. But then I realize it’s his pictures and the loving stories told about him that made my Uncle Sonny alive for me. I was told he loved me. He told my mom he wanted a picture of me on a bearskin rug in my “all-together”…in other words, a chubby baby with a hundred fat rolls, buns up on a blanket. This was back in the days when something like that could be done without thinking the person admiring the photo is a pedophile.

\n

Mom complied and I was told he kept that photo in the cockpit of the plane. But, mom told me a lot of things that turned out to be untrue. For instance, she said he was shot down by Russians. In 1955. Over Landstuhl Air Base in Germany. She said grandma was comforted when she received his personal effects and his wallet didn’t smell like smoke. She was comforted that her boy didn’t burn.

\n

Many years later, when the internet was new and I was helping my mom with her beloved genealogy, I started digging into the crash that took Uncle Sonny’s life. I think the only thing I had to work with at the time was a dial up modem and CompuServe. After meticulously searching, I came up with an aviation archaeologist. He specialized in finding reports on old plane crashes. I believe I paid him $40 and a few weeks later, I received a thick packet in the mail. 

\n

The archaeologist came up with the official Air Force report of the crash and in the process of reading it and asking questions, I got a lot of answers. First, he definitely was not shot down by the Russians. Secondly, pilots do not fly with personal effects, meaning…neither his wallet nor my picture accompanied him in the cockpit that fateful day. That was information I didn’t share with the rest of the family. I don’t remember if my Grandma was still living at this time or not. There’s just some things you don’t need to discuss after some sense of resolution has been met.

\n

There was information that I found disturbing. Sonny needed to log some flight hours. The only plane available that day was an old fighter jet that was on it’s way to become a static display. In other words, it was past its usefulness. In the three days leading up to the crash, four separate engines had been installed. 

\n

The morning of the crash dawned gray and foggy. Uncle Sonny went through the usual preflight check. The ground crew walked around the plane and somehow, someone failed to notice the intake baffles were in the wrong position for the weather conditions. When he took off, he flew around the base a couple of times without incident. Then someone noticed a shift in the engine sound and looked up. The plane had slowed down considerably and was losing altitude.

\n

No one can know for certain what went on in the cockpit that day. The witness on the ground said he couldn’t understand why my uncle didn’t eject and let the plane go down. It wasn’t until the full investigation that it was determined the trajectory of the plane would have sent it into the barracks where countless airmen would still be preparing for their day. Instead, Uncle Sonny steered the plane toward an open potato field that had recently been plowed. I’m sure, with his farming experience, he knew that would be a fairly soft place to land.

\n

As he struggled to keep the engine going and the plane aloft, he noticed a gap between the trees surrounding the potato field. It was narrow, but if he tipped his right wing at the right moment, he could just squeak through. Unfortunately, the sudden dip in the right wing caused the engine to stall even further and the tip of the wing hit the ground. This caused the plane to cartwheel.

\n

Uncle Sonny was found still strapped in his ejector seat in an upright position…as though he were waiting for someone to come by and have a chat. His helmet was cracked from the impact and he died from blunt force trauma. And, even though his wallet wasn’t with him and neither was my bare butt photo…he didn’t burn. It was over quickly.

\n

In my opinion, my Uncle Sonny was a hero. I’m sure he saved countless lives that day. But there was no award, no medal, no call from a grateful President. Maybe that was best. Grandma was not one for making a fuss. “Fools names, like their faces, always seen in public places.” She was a private, unassuming woman with great dignity.

\n

Sonny was laid to rest on a hilltop cemetery fifteen or so miles from the farm. One by one, our loved ones joined him. First Pop-Pop, then Grandma, then my mom, then Uncle Bob. I go twice a year to see them and I always hang around him a little longer. I wish I could have known him. I am comforted knowing there was such a beautiful homecoming when the Lord came to take the others to join my Uncle Sonny and Jesus.

\n

This day is so much more than another day off, another reason for a party. This is the day when we honor the fallen…all who gave their lives in the line of duty. Not just military. We remember all who have gone before us and we decorate their graves. Thank you…for giving your all. My heart is with those who had to go on without you.

\n

❤️

\n
“For the greatest love of all is a love that sacrifices all. And this great love is demonstrated when a person sacrifices his life for his friends.”\n

John 15:13 TPT

\n", "date_published": "2019-05-27T01:30:40-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/05/27/memorial-day.html", "tags": ["Family","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","West Virginia","The Farm","Gratitude","Grace","God","Fear","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/05/23/wascally-wabbits.html", "title": "Wascally Wabbits!", "content_html": "

\"Man “Mr. FixIt…working in the garden.”

\n

Mr. FixIt came to me the other morning with a dejected sigh.

\n

“Something ate the beans.”

\n

Again? Hmpffff! Don’t they know that little piece of ground is OURS??? They have five acres. I just want this little patch. Yeah…not likely. We used the rabbit deterrent faithfully…until, we didn’t. All it took was one little rain and one lapse of memory and…poof! No more beans. I think it is the rabbits. But it could be that little chipmunk. Or deer. Or…whatever. The point is…unless you put some sort of protective fencing or netting or both around your garden, you cannot expect to provide a salad bar without getting dinner guests.

\n

That’s ok. We still have the tomatoes. Plenty of tomatoes!!! We had twelve tomato plants and one mysteriously disappeared. No footprints. No trace…just gone. So, we are left with eleven tomato plants and a couple dozen onions. We’re good.

\n

I went to the farm yesterday to get the shades from the big camper. For those of you who have been around for the long haul, you will remember the first thing I did when I bought that camper was take those hideous window coverings off. If I’m going to sell the camper, I need to put them back. While I was there, I did the last load of laundry and gathered some camping items I will need in a couple of weeks when we go to Blackwater Falls with the Girl Campers. That’s one thing I like about Girl Campers…you can bring your hubby if you like. We just ask that they do something on their own while we’re there so we can have our girl time. Mr. FixIt is taking his golf clubs.

\n

I’m taking the ice cream freezer. There is something so special about homemade ice cream when you’re camping. I also brought the screen house. The mosquitoes will be making an appearance before long and some people are more susceptible to bites than others. I want to make sure everyone is comfortable and has a place to sit out of the rain if need be.

\n

When I got home, Mr. FixIt had a table saw on the back of the truck that needed to be unloaded. It was way too heavy to pick up but we used our brains over our brawn and tipped it onto a dolly and down the ramps into the garage. Perfect! Just as we were done, the former Mrs. FixIt came over to pick up a tent to go camping. I really like her and we sat for four hours visiting. Then my bonus granddaughter and the baby came over with ice cream. It was such a beautiful day!

\n

I love that we can demonstrate for the younger generations that the family relationship doesn’t have to end with divorce. We just open our hearts more and let in love and healing. 

\n

❤️

\n
“How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity!”    Psalm 133:1 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2019-05-23T01:30:35-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/05/23/wascally-wabbits.html", "tags": ["Health","Family","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Fun","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Humbled","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!","Widow","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/05/13/camp-hairdont-care.html", "title": "Camp Hair...Don’t Care!", "content_html": "

\"Images “Images from camp…The Three Amigas (Gail, Janine, & Ginny), fishing, TOW-Wanda III, and ramp casserole in an iron skillet.”

\n

OMGosh! Other than not having subzero temperatures, this week has been quite reminiscent of my first winter in TOW-Wanda Grande. I was parked up on the banks of the Ohio River with no running water. This state park has a few electric sites and I was lucky enough to get one. But, there’s no water at the sites. I had to rely on the freshwater tank for flushing the toilet and bottled water for drinking. Since I don’t have the propane system or the water heater checked out yet, I had to heat up water in the microwave or running it through the coffee pot for washing dishes or taking sponge baths. I am really looking forward to a proper shower when I get home today. I definitely have camp hair. And I definitely don’t care!

\n

Everyone left yesterday and headed home. All except for me, that is. I already had last night reserved thinking at least someone would stay over. That’s ok, though. I used the day to do some writing I have a deadline for. Then I did a little knitting and watched old Andy Griffith reruns. All the kids either texted or called me for Mother’s Day which was so nice. Gail came back to the campground after dinner and brought me some homemade cream of broccoli soup. It was a really good day.

\n

Gail and I are cohosting a Girl Camper event next month at Blackwater Falls so now I can turn my attention to that. I ordered a floral canopy with matching chairs to set up at that outing to give people a place to sit when they come to visit. When you have a campout with a group of Girl Campers, everyone wants to see inside each other’s trailers so we usually have a little snack out or a cocktail to share with guests. 

\n

The gal who camped right across from me this time had her little camper all decked out on the inside like a vintage one, but it was brand new. She used her grandmother’s quilt to cover the seat cushions and had her mother’s 25th anniversary silver tea set on display. She made banners for each window from embroidered linens. It was absolutely darling. When her husband peeked in to see what she had done to the inside he said, “Really? Really??? You had to do all PINK?” She created a grey interior for him and switches it out. That seems like a lot of work to me, but as long as the hubs is happy.

\n

So, today I pack it up and head home. I can’t wait to see my Mr. FixIt and give him a squeeze. He sent me a picture of the garden and the beans are all up. He’s been spreading the rabbit repellent and so far, so good! They haven’t eaten any of the young plants.

\n

Hope you have a Happy Monday! 

\n

❤️

\n
““All who are skilled among you are to come and make everything the Lord has commanded:”    Exodus 35:10 NIV
\n \n", "date_published": "2019-05-13T01:30:38-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/05/13/camp-hairdont-care.html", "tags": ["Travel","Uplifting Stories","Strong Women","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","Fun","Gratitude","Comfort","goRVing","Love","Peaceful Moments","Girl Camper","Girl Campers","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/05/12/what-a-hoot.html", "title": "What a Hoot!!!", "content_html": "

\"Coffee “Coffee in the camper…my favorite thing about camping!”

\n

The Girl Campers have been meeting at Beaver Creek State Park for the last three years or so. Some come for a day or two. Some come for a full week of fun. Gail is our Hostess Extraordinaire. Janine, our fearless leader and “Camper in Chief” is here with her Mister and anytime the three of us get together…it’s the Three Amigas. A good time is always to be had when we gather around the campfire.

\n

\"Woman “Janine loved her socks!”

\n

We have a Spring and a Fall “What a Hoot” event. Where did we get that name, you ask? We get to listen to the owls! We cannot call them in the spring because they are on the nest. But in the fall, we can play their calls over a speaker and call them in close so we can hear them. It’s beautiful.

\n

\"Pawpaw “The blossom of the pawpaw tree. Isn’t it beautiful?”

\n

The park naturalist came again yesterday. He took some of the campers on a guided nature walk and identified several varieties of wildflowers. Then later in the afternoon, we went fishing. One of our gals caught a good sized catfish on her second cast. I casted fifty times and didn’t catch a thing but I had fun!

\n

\"Woman “Sherri caught a catfish on her second cast!”

\n

I finished knitting the socks I was working on. Janine has been marveling over them for a year. That’s how long it took me to knit them! So, I gifted them to her and she was so tickled.

\n

\"Camping “Some of the girls made camping journals to keep as a memento from their trip.”

\n

Dinner last night was a smorgasbord of soups and fresh fruit. Bourbon Brownie S’mores for dessert! I didn’t have the ones with bourbon…I had mine plain. But they were gooey and decadent. Today, I get back on my diet!

\n

I hope you enjoy the photos! I’ll be heading back to the Ponderosa tomorrow!

\n

Oh, and…it’s Mother’s Day. Moms come in all shapes and sizes and descriptions. Some of us are moms. Some of us chose not to be. Some wanted to be and couldn’t. Some were…and lost their babies in one way or another. Some lost their relationships in some way. A lot of us have lost our moms by the time we get to be my age. And, some are fortunate to yet have theirs. The bottom line is…no matter what state you are in….it’s Mother’s Day. I hope it is a good day for you and yours…even if there are tears.

\n

I miss my mom…my grandma…and my “other mother”, Louisa. I’ll see you all some fine day.

\n

And, I miss my girls. I’ll see them soon!

\n

❤️

\n
“Adam named his wife Eve, because she would become the mother of all the living.”    ‭‭Genesis‬ ‭3:20‬ ‭NIV‬‬
\n \n", "date_published": "2019-05-12T01:30:56-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/05/12/what-a-hoot.html", "tags": ["Family","Travel","Uplifting Stories","Strong Women","Positive Energy","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","Fun","Gratitude","goRVing","Grace","Love","Peace","Girl Camper","Girl Campers","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/05/11/dreams-camping.html", "title": "Dreams \u0026 Camping", "content_html": "

\"Bathing “Bathing al Fresco…imagine a long soak and watching the stars!”

\n

When I was on my three month journey through the wilderness and backroads of Colorado after Mr. Virgo died, I camped on ten acres owned by my dear friend Susan. The property overlooked Mesa Verde. The house was situated in such a way as to give a glorious view of the mesa from the master bedroom. There was an outdoor shower just out the patio doors. It was surrounded by a rock wall with strategic dips so you could actually shower overlooking the grand view without being seen from the neighboring property or the one road that went by out front. I loved showering out there in broad daylight. It was liberating, exhilarating, refreshing while maintaining some semblance of modesty.

\n

The only thing I thought would improve the experience would be having an oversized claw foot tub in which to lay back and relax at night watching the stars. Scented bubbles would definitely be in order. I could imagine having a small fireplace nearby to ward off the chill when getting out and stacks of fluffy white Turkish towels at the ready. There would be a platform of slatted wood over pea gravel for a floor. Soft music playing low in the background and maybe a hundred candles. Or, just one.

\n

This would be my idea of heaven. My little oasis on those hot, sticky West Virginia nights. We have the pool, but the water is so hot in the summer, it isn’t refreshing. This al fresco bath would have hot and cold running water so I could have hot baths in the winter even. It sounds lovely. 

\n

I don’t want to build this at the Ponderosa because we want to fix it up and move. The farm would be the perfect place because of the privacy, but I don’t own it, so I don’t want to build anything there. The only other alternative is to wait till we build our place in town which could be a couple of years. I don’t know how practical it would be, but I can dream. I just look at pictures on Pinterest and swoon.

\n

In the meantime, the Girl Campers had a grand time yesterday. I’m almost finished with my socks I started on our honeymoon last October! More girls arrived today and it’s fun getting to know them. The park naturalist came to our campfire last night and gave a talk about wild ramps. They are kind of like a cross between a wild onion and garlic. When they are raw, they have quite a bite to them, but Mike’s wife made a casserole from eggs, potatoes, ramps and cheese and it was delicious. He also spoke about hummingbirds and we made a hummingbird feeder out of a plastic water bottle. 

\n

This kind of trip gives me the camping experience I wish I could have had as a kid. It’s like something you see in the movies but we aren’t going snipe hunting or short-sheeting the counselor’s bed. It is so much fun to be a girl again and forget the mowing and cooking and responsibilities of adulthood. If you ever have the opportunity, you should do this. There are a couple of gals here staying in one of the cabins. You don’t have to have a camper…you just have to want to go out and play.

\n

My dear friend Gail and I are co-hosting a Girl Camper event at Blackwater Falls in June. If you are interested, check out Janine’s Girl Camper page here on Facebook. It’s free to join the group and the camping trip is $20 plus your campsite fee. https://www.facebook.com/groups/1943334755897759/?ref=share

\n

❤️

\n
“Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of a friend springs from their heartfelt advice.”    Proverbs 27:9 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2019-05-11T01:30:44-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/05/11/dreams-camping.html", "tags": ["Travel","Strong Women","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","Fun","Gratitude","goRVing","Peace","Girl Camper","Girl Campers"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/05/10/my-view.html", "title": "My View", "content_html": "

\"View “Oh, how I have missed the big picture window over the bed!”

\n

The thing I have missed the most since I bought TOW-Wanda Grande was the window over the bed. Propping up on pillows with a cup of coffee in the morning and looking out on the sunrise is priceless. And now, I have that back. The other things are the windows at the head and foot of my bed. The windows in TOW-Wanda Grande don’t open very wide and you really don’t get a good breeze. I love having that window open over my head and feeling the cool evening breeze wash over me. It’s also nice to hear the night sounds of frogs and crickets and whatever fauna is lurking around in the dark.

\n

The more I stay in this little camper, the more I absolutely love it. I did have a little problem. I noticed a trail of little black ants making their way up to the cabinet over the refrigerator on Wednesday night. By yesterday morning, there was an army. I opened the cabinet and took all the food out and discovered they had found an open packet of Club Crackers in a box. How can they find this stuff?

\n

I pulled everything out and sprayed with a botanical ant killer and they were soon gone. It seems ants have been terrible this year everywhere. We are having a huge problem with them at the Ponderosa.

\n

Other than that, and the bed being a tad bit firm for my liking, my heart just sings in this little tiny, tiny home on wheels.

\n

More girls are arriving daily and I believe all should be here by this evening. We have been knitting and talking and eating and napping. Oh, and having campfires. Gail has this new thing she bought called the SoloStove. It looked similar to the tub out of a washing machine and when you burn wood, it doesn’t smoke. You can still smell a wood fire, but just enough that it’s pleasant and it doesn’t choke the life out of you. Life doesn’t get much better than that!

\n

❤️

\n
“A friend loves at all times...”    Proverbs 17:17 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2019-05-10T01:30:03-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/05/10/my-view.html", "tags": ["Travel","Uplifting Stories","Strong Women","Positive Energy","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","Fun","Gratitude","goRVing","Peace","Peaceful Moments","Girl Camper","Girl Campers","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/04/19/good-friday.html", "title": "Good Friday", "content_html": "

\"Flowering “My grandma’s pretty posies…I love to visit them.”

\n

I ran to the farm yesterday to pick up my laundry I left hanging to dry. I took a quick walkabout to see Grandma’s posies. She loved them so much and I always feel so close to her when I see them. 

\n

Grandma loved Easter time. Her flowers were beautiful and she almost always had all of her family together to go to church. I feel terrible that I won’t be attending church with the kids this weekend, but there is a church right across the road from the condo so we will still get to go to an Easter service.

\n

The bags are packed. Going to the time share is much like camping…we take extra linens and pots and pans because the one’s there are somewhat lacking in substance. We also bring some dry goods with us because groceries down there are so expensive. So, the truck will be packed first thing in the morning and we’ll hit the road no later than 9:00.

\n

Small group last night was wonderful. I talked to the girls about Passover and the rituals around the Seder meal. I brought some traditional foods for them to taste. They weren’t crazy about the gefilte fish!

\n

Kathy spoke about Easter. She told how Jesus washed the feet of the Disciples. Then, she prepared a basin and pitcher of warm water and washed all of our feet. It was a humbling experience. When she was done, I stepped forward and invited her to sit so that I could wash hers. I followed her example and told her the beautiful attributes Jesus sees when He looks at her. I thanked her for being such a shining example of a humble servant for all of us to see. And I told her how much I dearly love her.

\n

What a wonderful way to start out our week!

\n

❤️

\n
“It was just before the Passover Festival. Jesus knew that the hour had come for him to leave this world and go to the Father. Having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end. The evening meal was in progress, and the devil had already prompted Judas, the son of Simon Iscariot, to betray Jesus. Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God; so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him. He came to Simon Peter, who said to him, “Lord, are you going to wash my feet?” Jesus replied, “You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.” “No,” said Peter, “you shall never wash my feet.” Jesus answered, “Unless I wash you, you have no part with me.” “Then, Lord,” Simon Peter replied, “not just my feet but my hands and my head as well!” Jesus answered, “Those who have had a bath need only to wash their feet; their whole body is clean. And you are clean, though not every one of you.” For he knew who was going to betray him, and that was why he said not every one was clean. When he had finished washing their feet, he put on his clothes and returned to his place. “Do you understand what I have done for you?” he asked them. “You call me ‘Teacher’ and ‘Lord,’ and rightly so, for that is what I am. Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. Very truly I tell you, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.”   John 13:1-17 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2019-04-19T01:30:21-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/04/19/good-friday.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Prayer","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Humbled","Peaceful Moments","Choices","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/04/14/darkness-into-light.html", "title": "Darkness into Light", "content_html": "

\"Palm “Looking back, I am humbled by my deliverance.”

\n

The stress of doing taxes this week made me sit back and reflect how differently I cope now as opposed to twenty years ago. Back then, I felt like that guy on Ted Mack’s Amateur Hour. You know the one…he twirled plates on top of sticks. First one, then two, then five…and eventually, he had about twelve of them spinning. He ran from one stick to another, desperately trying to keep all the plates spinning without crashing to the ground. 

\n

I did a great job spinning plates till…I didn’t. I burned out. I hit the wall. There were lots of reasons why, but the bottom line was…I didn’t have good coping skills. I had an alcoholic father. I seriously should have known not to push the drinking thing. But, more and more, I relied on alcohol to prop me up. 

\n

I had situational anxiety. Going to a party? I’d have a drink in the bathroom while I put on my makeup and called on “Ginny the Party Girl” to step forward…emboldened by a beer. Going to the game with the hospital administrator and his wife? Drink LOTS of beers. Hosting a dinner party for the medical staff? Wine…more wine! It got worse and worse.

\n

When my marriage started to fall apart, I was terrified. I had no idea how to cope because I worshiped at the altar of my husband. I only had a cursory relationship with God and I didn’t know Jesus at all. I was relying entirely on someone fairly unreliable….myself. When thing became difficult between me and my husband, I started drinking about an hour before he was due home so I could get through the evening. Many times I just got too wasted to cook so I went to bed, leaving my family to fend for themselves. 

\n

At the very end of our marriage, I found myself standing in a closet in the dark, drinking really expensive tequila straight from the bottle. I knew…KNEW in that moment that I was in dire straits. Unfortunately, when you are in that place, it’s really, really hard to pull yourself out of it without some help. I was just functional enough to fool people into thinking I still had it together…but I did not.

\n

Our last Thanksgiving, my best friend’s husband caught me sneaking into their kitchen during dinner and drinking shots of tequila. I fell asleep on their couch while all the guests were at the table having dessert. I was desperately ill, but I was also an embarrassment. My husband didn’t know what to do with me. When I overdosed a couple of months later, I made the decision for him and I went away to get the help I needed. 

\n

Now, as a Christian, I know that God uses all things for my good and for HIS glory. Last week in church, I said my usual prayer…”Lord, if you have a message just for me, please deliver it through Pastor Justin.” And, in his message, God sent this…

\n

“God will use your experiences for your good. He will use them for His glory. Your experiences are your story and your story has power. It has the power to change people. Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there and share your testimony.”

\n

I smiled.

\n

God himself told me in that moment that, no matter how bad I got…no matter how messy my life was…no matter how dysfunctional I had been…He had saved me. HE came for ME! He left the 99 and came for the ONE. And when He found me, He carried me on His shoulders back to the flocks and announced to all…”Look, I’ve found my lost sheep! Come! Help me celebrate!”

\n

I know God has great things in store for me. I anticipate the unexpected, just like Christine Caine preaches in her book, Unexpected: Leave Fear Behind, Move Forward in Faith, Embrace the Adventure. Yes, sometimes the unexpected is bad. But, sometimes it is amazing. I could never in a million years have imagined back when I was in the throes of torment…where I’d be today. I am so incredibly grateful that Jesus never gave up on me. He pursued me relentlessly because He had a plan. He knew what I was capable of. I am so humbled by His Love. Through Him, I can turn a dark and painful time into a testimony of the Goodness of God  

\n

On this…Palm Sunday…remember the triumphal return of Jesus to Jerusalem is also the beginning of Holy Week. It is the true beginning of the end of His earthly walk. May you all be blessed and humbled in the coming week.

\n

❤️

\n
““What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off? And if he finds it, truly I tell you, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off. In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should perish.”    \n

Matthew 18:12-14 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2019-04-14T01:30:27-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/04/14/darkness-into-light.html", "tags": ["Faith","Health","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Courage","Choices","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/04/03/cue-the-eye-roll.html", "title": "Cue the Eye Roll", "content_html": "

\"Eyeroll\" “The eye roll…reserved for those moments when a whop over the head with a frying pan might be overkill.”

\n

I posted a request on four different Facebook pages on Monday. Here…I’ll just cut and paste it so you can see what I’m talking about.

\n

“Ok…I have a 30’ camper. The reason I went big was because I traveled FT and lived in it for most of three years. My original truck was an F-150 V6 EcoBoost with a 3.73 rear axle ratio. It would pull that camper up the passes of Colorado like nobody’s business. Two years ago, my truck was totaled in an accident. The replacement truck was identical in every way save for a 3.31 rear axle ratio. In my defense, I had a head injury and wasn’t thinking straight when I bought it. Needless to say, pulling on the flat is ok, but the mountain passes were crazy. I couldn’t get up to 20mph and had to stop several times to let the transmission cool down. I am now in a position to buy a new truck. Here is my dilemma. Finding an F-150 with a rear axle ratio of 3.73 is turning out to be like looking for a needle in a haystack. I have several options. I have settled down in WV and remarried and I don’t need such a big camper. I can downsize the camper. Then I don’t need as powerful a truck. Or, I can get out of my lane and buy a different truck. I really have to watch my mpg because this is my primary vehicle. Thanks in advance for your input…I appreciate it!”

\n

Pretty innocent. I posted it on two women-only camping pages, a family camping page, and a page that seems to be largely frequented by men that deals with RV Tips & Hints. I sat back and watched the comments flow and suddenly I was struck by a huge difference between the gals’ answers and the guys’. The gals were informative and supportive and respectful. The guys? Well, you could just almost SEE them spitting and scratching places that shouldn’t be scratched in public. 

\n

There was a lot of jockeying for position between the men. Lots of “right on, bro” kinda stuff. One of the responses that had me in stitches was from a guy I’ll call Bob. Bob started out nice enough. He pointed out asking a question like this to 1,000 people would give me 1,000 different opinions. He wasn’t far off. His advice was to weigh my options…(Ummmmm, I think that’s what I’m asking y’all for, Bob…), seek my own council…(Wait a minute? Are you telling me to stop asking the question, Bob? I’m confused…), and evaluate what I think my needs might be in five years (Thank you for having faith that I’ll still be camping like this in five years, Bob. You’re a peach!). This is where Bob kind of went off the rails on me when he added…”and, what your new wife enjoys.”

\n

?

\n

Wait…did Bob just suggest what I THINK he suggested? 

\n

See…our good friend Bob here assumed that if I am towing a 30’ camper across the country by myself, I must be a Lesbian. Or maybe he didn’t pay attention to who wrote the post and assumed I was a man who had just gotten married. Because, you know, a WOMAN wouldn’t/couldn’t/shouldn’t tow a 30’ camper…by herself…all over the country…for three years. I wrote back and said, “You must be talking about my husband, Bob. ? See…I’m the gal. I’m the one who towed the 30’ camper back and forth across the country for three years. I’m uber handy that way. ?”

\n

(Cue the eye roll. ?)

\n

Bob, Bob, Bob…girls can do things without gender or sexual orientation being a part of it. Girls can tow campers…BIG campers. They can back them up into teeny tiny little spaces, too. Girls can do just about anything guys can do. I went into a car dealership yesterday and test drove a truck. The sales person was a woman named Megan. Megan had been on the job for eight months. I asked if she loved her job, she gleefully said “Yes! But oh….the guys hate it! They don’t like having a woman in their space all the time.” I gave her a high five. 

\n

Show ‘em what you’re made of, Megan!

\n

❤️

\n
“The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.”    Proverbs 14:1 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2019-04-03T01:30:40-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/04/03/cue-the-eye-roll.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Wisdom","Courage","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/04/01/vibrant-women.html", "title": "Vibrant Women", "content_html": "

\"Vibrant “Vibrant Women…a women’s ministry.”

\n

Something phenomenal happened Friday night and it has taken me this long to process it. Actually, I’m sure I’ll be processing it for some time to come. We have a husband-wife team leading our church. It has been wonderful to watch Pastor Heather growing into a strong leader for the women of our region. A little over three years ago, God planted a seed in her to lead a Women’s Ministry. She gathered her friends together, told them her ideas for this movement, and asked them to start feeding her possible names. When she heard “Vibrant Women”, she was moved. Vigorous. Energetic. Lively. Vital. All words that resonated with where she wanted to go with this movement….words that described women of strong faith.

\n

This was the third Vibrant Women event held at our church…the second I have attended. It’s come a long way since the beginning. I think there might have been two-hundred women at the first one. Friday night saw almost SEVEN HUNDRED women packed into our church. There wasn’t a seat in the house. The sound booth said at one point the decibel scale peaked out at the same level as a jet engine. It was crazy fun. The energy level in that room was amazing.

\n

We had a guest pastor…Pastor April Carter of the Together Church in Yakima, Washington. Pastor April spoke about Living Beyond Fear. Oh….she touched every single one of us. At the end of her message, she told a personal story. Someone who works in her church called her…panic stricken. Then he arrived home, his house was surrounded by police, fire, and ambulance crews. They would not let him in the house. The only thing he knew was, something happened that involved his son. Pastor April and Pastor Micahn headed to the hospital to meet them.

\n

As they sat there, waiting for word of what was going on, she absentmindedly fingered a necklace she was wearing that a friend gave her. It is engraved…”I Can Do Hard Things”. The time dragged slowly by. They prayed together. They held each other up. And, finally…the doctor came out. Their friends’ son had gotten his hands on a gun and somehow accidentally shot himself. And they could not save him. Pastor April closed her eyes and repeated to herself…

\n

“I can do hard things. I can do hard things. I can do hard things.”

\n

Since Mr. Virgo died, I haven’t been so good in medical emergencies. There have been times I haven’t been able to show up for people who need me to do hard things. Pastor April challenged us to put on our boxing gloves and get in the ring of life and fight. Listening to her, I felt empowered. I felt stronger. I felt like trying harder and being the best version of myself I can be. I mean, isn’t that what faith does for us? 

\n

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Even the hard things.

\n

We were doubly blessed in that Pastor April delivered our message at church yesterday too so we got to hear her twice this weekend. I googled her name on YouTube last night and there was a message called “Hard Reset”. You should give it a listen if you are interested. She is very good. 

\n

❤️

\n
“I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”\n

Philippians 4:13 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2019-04-01T01:30:37-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/04/01/vibrant-women.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Growth","New Ideas","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Humbled","Choices","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/03/31/girl-campers.html", "title": "Girl Campers", "content_html": "

\"Campfire “Aren’t these the cutest little campfire cupcakes?”

\n

There is something so special about camping with a bunch of gals. You may not have met them yet, but they’re going to be your new BFF’s before the weekend is over. I’ve been involved with the whole camp-like-a-girl movement since Mr. Virgo died and I got my first camper. I was first introduced to Sisters on the Fly and along the way, I met and got to know Janine Pettit. 

\n

Janine has been a girl camper (little “g”) since she was a child and traveled with her parents on camping vacations. Along the way, Janine was asked to write a series on the GoRVing blog about amazing women campers. The RV industry recognized there was a whole demographic they weren’t serving well and Janine was just the person to bring on board to reach them. She’s personable, fun, and extremely knowledgeable about all things camping. 

\n

Almost four years ago now, Janine started the Girl Camper Podcast which has become an incredible resource for women hoping to get into camping but may not be sure where to start. You may recall I have been interviewed several times on Janine’s show and I am always honored to attend her events. I meet some of the most wonderful women.

\n

I went to Milton, West Virginia yesterday to visit with my tribe. Janine was in from New Jersey for a Camper College at Setzer’s RV in Huntington. Camper College is an event an RV Dealer sponsors with Janine and the gals get a couple of hours to ask questions and learn more about campers and their operation. Gail Bable is the Camp Host for Beaver Creek State Park in East Liverpool, Ohio and she is one of my home girls. 

\n

I love going to these events because you get to see gals you haven’t seen for a while and you always get to meet new people. I was standing in the kitchen visiting when Gail came up to me and drew my attention to the two women sitting on the sofa. 

\n

“Ginny, I overheard those two gals chatting. They are both widows.”

\n

I walked right over and sat with them. I could see they were emotional and wiping away tears.

\n

“What are we talking about, girls?”

\n

“Dead husbands, I’m afraid.”

\n

“Ahhhhh….yes. I have one of those. I’m Ginny McKinney. It’s so nice to meet you.”

\n

We sat and visited for a bit and exchanged info. One is a published author and the other is a blogger and about to head out full time in her new Little Guy Max camper. You never know who you might meet along the way and how you might be able to help each other.

\n

My good friend, Cherry, brought the cupcakes that look like little campfires. Aren’t they the cutest things??? Janine handed out some swag…collapsible fans, sunglasses, bottle openers. A good time was had by all and of course there was enough food there to feed a small army. I left after dinner to head back home so I could get up in time for church this morning. What a fun, fun weekend!

\n

If you haven’t followed Girl Camper yet, do head over to her Facebook page and her website. It’s such a loving, warm community of women.

\n

Girl Camper

\n

❤️

\n
“...a sweet friendship refreshes the soul.”    Proverbs 27:9 MSG
\n", "date_published": "2019-03-31T01:30:57-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/03/31/girl-campers.html", "tags": ["Travel","Uplifting Stories","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Camping","Fun","West Virginia","goRVing","Girl Camper","Girl Campers"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/03/26/widowed-or-single.html", "title": "Widowed or Single?", "content_html": "

\"Widow\" “Has the mental image of ‘widow’ changed all that much?

\n

One of my friends shared a post with me yesterday. Ironically, it turns out I know the woman who wrote it. And, I know her well enough to understand what she meant by what she said about being called a widow. The writer, Jan, said she didn’t like the term “widow” because it conjures up this preconceived notion of “old” and “feeble”. As she says, we live in an era where ageism runs rampant. Our gray hair and social mores puts the widow in an unenviable position on more levels than grief alone.

\n

Jan says she hates going into doctor’s offices and filling out the forms, having to select widowed or single. She has taken to saying she is “single-by-death” because, she DOES feel single. I’m all for changing the vernacular and the image of widows. Of course, the early throes of acute grief is a time where most of us feel old beyond our years, lost, destined to a life of lonely sadness. After that period of crisis, we do begin…in our own time…to heal and move forward. I don’t know any widow who wants to be looked down on and pitied. In this day and age, widows aren’t a bunch of doddering old ladies wearing black and sitting in the corner crying all the time.

\n

I hated the term widow, too. I thoroughly resented it at first because I was very, very busy trying to pretend he didn’t die. Calling me a widow just turned a spotlight on my spectacular ruse and left me with nothing but shadow puppets of my former life. I sometimes rebelliously referred to myself as “single-by-chance” simply because I hated the word death as much as I hated the word widow. “Single-by-chance” could cover a lot of situations…death, divorce, break-ups. I liked it. But eventually, I just went with widow and tried to show what one looks like by pulling a huge camper across the country alone and dancing on the bar at Coyote Ugly and going into the wilderness and backroads of Colorado for three months…alone.

\n

In researching photos for this post, I Googled “widow”. There was a plethora of images of spiders and Scarlet Johansson in a black latex catsuit with the occasional Civil War era tintype of a haunted woman in black thrown in for good measure. This got me to thinking…if Google is any indication, maybe the world isn’t as obsessed with the word “widow” as widows themselves are. Widowhood and grief are lonely pursuits. We are singular. We are rather myopic. We have lost half of our whole. At least, we have for a while. Eventually, half reduces itself…bit by tiny little bit.

\n

I was widowed…singled-by-chance…surely not by choice. Now that Mr. FixIt and I have married, when I relate my story in my work as a speaker and a writer, I say I was widowed. I suppose in the absolute vernacular, I am a widow. But that is a far smaller piece of who I am today than it used to be. I think that’s the way it should be…for me. 

\n

That’s the beauty of language and social norms. We can change things. We can change the words and the images of who we are in the world today. Who we are and how we want to be seen. What works for one may not work for another. Be who…or what…you are. Empirical evidence says…I am a Child of God…first and foremost. The rest is superfluous.

\n

❤️

\n
““Cursed is anyone who withholds justice from the foreigner, the fatherless or the widow.” Then all the people shall say, “Amen!””    \n

Deuteronomy 27:19 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2019-03-26T01:30:29-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/03/26/widowed-or-single.html", "tags": ["Faith","Health","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","God","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/03/20/from-wounded-to-awakened.html", "title": "From Wounded to Awakened", "content_html": "

\"Meme\" “Awakened Women know from whence they came. Overcoming brokenness takes a great deal of hard work and patience.”

\n

It would probably be safe to say most of us have been wounded in one way or another in our lives. You don’t get to 65 without some bumps and bruises. I spent so much of my adult life as one of the walking wounded. Growing up with an alcoholic father, being subjected to sexual abuse, experiencing brutality at the hands of a teacher, and getting the pee scared out of me by a traveling preacher were the foundation of fear that wounded my little girl psyche. That led me down a path of self destruction that nearly ended my life.

\n

Kathy, my small group leader, posted this meme in our group chat yesterday. When you are the wounded woman who has become awakened, you don’t always understand the significance of the steps involved to heal. It’s easier when you watch others achieve their own healing. That’s when you understand just how far you’ve come. In other words, sometimes you really don’t get something till you see it in black and white. 

\n

I was sitting with Mr. FixIt at breakfast yesterday when I saw this meme. I had just been talking to him the other night about how different I feel with him than with any other person I’ve been with. I am totally at home. Comfortable in my own skin. 

\n

“You see the list on the left?” I said. “That was me before Mr. Virgo. Actually, I was still a little bit like that while I was married to him. But now? Now I’m firmly planted in the list on the right. You didn’t do that. I didn’t do that. GOD did that. Ok…I had to choose God first. Then I had to ask him to fix me. But HE’S the one that did the fixing. He’s the one who sent the right therapists, the right doctor. He’s the one who gave me the courage to find my voice.”

\n

He “gets” me. He’s the one who gets to reap the rewards of my awakening. I remember back when I was separated from Hubby #2. I knew he had this good, kind, gently, emotive man inside him. He knew I had the potential to embrace everything in the list on the right. We just couldn’t bring those things out in each other. We needed to go through what we went through to become who we are.

\n

Our daughter is getting married in August. Mr. FixIt and I will be attending the wedding being held at my ex’s somewhat palatial estate. I’ve never been there but I’ve seen pictures. The “me” that used to live in the left hand list would walk into that house feeling less than…unworthy…apologetic…falling all over myself to make a good impression, to look a certain way, to act a certain way in order to gain approval. The woman I have become is awakened. I know my value. It doesn’t come from anything…or anyone…earthly. I needn’t apologize for anything. I speak gently to myself. 

\n

I have to admit…the first time I saw a picture of my ex’s house, I burned with envy. For just a moment. The thought was, ‘That should have been MY house!’ Which was immediately followed by, ‘Yes, dear one…but HE comes with that house.’ There’s definitely a reason we aren’t together. We are both much better off apart.

\n

This has been a long….LONG time coming. And, I’m finally…finally…finally there. ❤️

\n
“for the light makes everything visible. This is why it is said, “Awake, O sleeper, rise up from the dead, and Christ will give you light.””    \n

Ephesians 5:14 NLT

\n", "date_published": "2019-03-20T01:30:19-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/03/20/from-wounded-to-awakened.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Growth","Wisdom","Aging","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/03/12/angelversary.html", "title": "Angelversary", "content_html": "

\"Handsome “Remembering Mr. Virgo”

\n

Last year, I removed the date of Mr. Virgo’s death from my calendar so I would no longer receive reminders on my phone. After all, I’m not likely to forget such an event as that anyway. I do have a hard time remembering the exact date of my mom’s death and my grandma’s and my dad’s. I know approximately when they occurred but I have to look it up if I need to know the exact date. Not so with Mr. Virgo’s. I’ll never forget that…or him.

\n

It was six years ago today that we set out to buy the travel trailer to take us into retirement. It was a beautiful sunny day with a hint of spring and we had everything to look forward to. Although I had been having premonitions all week, it was still a shock when he died so suddenly.

\n

This was something I didn’t believe I could recover from. I swore to my girls that I would never, ever get married again because I couldn’t go through this a second time. Yet, here we are…six years down the road and I’m married again…to an equally wonderful man. I’ve been blessed with good men in my life. 

\n

My friend Deneene lost her husband in March a few years after me. I began to mentor her through the widow experience when she was going through a particularly rough patch. We don’t get to see each other much anymore as she has moved to South Carolina with her new love. We connect frequently via chat and yesterday, she sent a note telling me she was thinking of me and the angelversary of Mr. Virgo’s death. She asked how I was going to commemorate this day. Last year, when I removed the alarm from my calendar, I thought five years was enough of that. I figured I wouldn’t want to do anything special anymore. But, once I thought about it, I decided I was wrong. Time doesn’t change the facts.

\n

It’s interesting at this point to think of my marriage to Mr. Virgo. He has now been gone the same amount of time we were married. And, just because time has passed, and just because I’m crazy in love with Mr. FixIt and I’m happily married, doesn’t mean my love for this wonderful man I shared my life with has diminished. Daughter #2 called me yesterday and we talked for quite some time about this. When we lose someone so special, our hearts expand at some point. My heart is much, much bigger than it was when Mr. Virgo died. There are spaces there with the names of every person I have truly loved. Those spaces do not become smaller in order to allow room for other to come in. The vessel itself had to grow. 

\n

As time has passed after each loss, those spaces that remain from the love lost aren’t empty shells. I’ve filled them with love and memories like filling a beautiful vase with thousands of blooms…only these flowers will never die. There were times, especially with the divorces, that I held onto bitterness and anger, but those things did not serve me. Filling each space in my heart with love has been my saving grace. 

\n

I am so blessed to be married to such a wonderful man who does not expect me to clean house and rid myself of those spaces in my heart. I would never expect him to do so. If you have truly loved someone, no matter what the end result of the relationship, filling those rooms full of flowers can set you free.

\n

So, I’m at the farm. I’m writing and drinking good coffee and eating chocolate hearts. And I’m counting all my blessings for a heart filled with blooms by remembering my life with a good, kind man. ❤️

\n
“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”    Psalm 73:26 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2019-03-12T01:30:19-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/03/12/angelversary.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Change","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/02/23/i-have-a-voice.html", "title": "“I Have a Voice”", "content_html": "

\"Woodcarving\" “I Have a Voice” woodcarving by Evelyn Jimenez

\n

I have met some of the nicest people through my blog. One is a widow named Evelyn. She became very ill after losing her husband and very nearly died herself. Evelyn is a woodcarver, which I find endlessly fascinating. I’ve tried my hand at carving but I haven’t had the right tools for the job. I really would love to try again sometime…in my SPARE time. sigh 

\n

A few weeks ago, I saw a little faceless woman she carved and titled, “I Have a Voice”. This little round woman struck my heart. I went for a very long time in my life without a voice. I felt like the faceless woman, being told I wasn’t good enough or I was stupid or I was too fat. When you hear these things over and over and over from someone who is supposed to love you, you soon come to believe them as true.

\n

I wanted my own little faceless woman to remind me that I am no longer without a voice. I wanted to remember that time when I was without a face so that I might recognize other faceless women. Instead of making me sad when I see her dejected little hands stuffed in her pockets, I smile because she might just be hiding cupcakes in there. 

\n

And…I know. I know she has a voice in there. I know because I had a voice inside…even when it was stifled. We can always say “I wish I would have known then what I know now.” For me it’s more like “I wish I would have known then WHO I know now.” I think if I’d known then how much God loved me, I would have loved myself more. And, if I’d loved myself more, I wouldn’t have allowed myself to be treated so poorly…even as a young child. Hindsight is 20/20. The best thing I can do now is mentor young women and make sure they know they are precious and loved and deserving. ❤️

\n
“The desert and the parched land will be glad; the wilderness will rejoice and blossom. Like the crocus, it will burst into bloom; it will rejoice greatly and shout for joy. The glory of Lebanon will be given to it, the splendor of Carmel and Sharon; they will see the glory of the Lord, the splendor of our God.”\n

Isaiah 35:1-2 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2019-02-23T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/02/23/i-have-a-voice.html", "tags": ["Faith","Health","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Fear","Forgiveness","Courage","Presence","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/01/27/building-up-my-stash.html", "title": "Building up my Stash", "content_html": "

\"Hand-knit “Eighteen hand-knit cotton dishclothes are perfect for impromptu gifts.”

\n

Yesterday was a decompression day. Taking care of and loving on lots of people this week left me needing a day that was all about me, for the most part. I’m almost finished with the cotton yarn I bought to knit dishcloths. There’s probably enough to make a couple more. I have eighteen in my stash. I like having these around for impromptu gift giving. I also get a bar of lavender soap every time my doTerra order comes around and I don’t need vitamins. I put these things all away to have ready for birthdays and hostess gifts.

\n

I have this whole bonus family through marrying Mr. FixIt and I am thrilled to say the grandkids are going to church with me today! Mr. FixIt and I will go at noon then when he bowls this evening, I’ll take the grandkids with me and treat them out to dinner after church. I wanted to spend some quality time alone with them. Bonding time is important in step-families…even when the kids are all grown up. I’m so excited…I can hardly wait!

\n

I told you I would let you know if I slept well again when I practiced handing everything over to God before bed. Well, I did and it was amazing how fast I fell asleep…and stayed asleep all night. I think I’m onto something here!

\n

We haven’t been to church for two weeks because of bad weather. I can hardly wait to get there today…twice! Have a blessed Sunday, dear ones. I’ll see you this evening for Sunday Night Prayer Circle. ❤️

\n
“Children’s children are a crown to the aged, and parents are the pride of their children.”\n

Proverbs 17:6 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2019-01-27T02:30:49-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/01/27/building-up-my-stash.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","God","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/01/19/german-comfort-food.html", "title": "German Comfort Food", "content_html": "

\"Kielbasa “Kielbasa, kraut, and mashed potatoes…German comfort food.”

\n

When we were having coffee yesterday morning, Mr. FixIt asked if I wanted to go to the movies in the afternoon. My mind went over the list of things that needed to be done and I politely demurred. He turned on the weather report and they’re predicting a ton of rain turning to snow over the weekend so he wisely decided to go to town and rent a snake to clear the drain out back.

\n

We have a stairway that goes down into the basement. There is a four inch pipe in the bottom of that stairwell and it drains into a pipe that travels over a hundred yards out to the creek. About every two years, that drain needs to be snaked out so the water doesn’t back up and run into the basement. Also, there is a ditch out at the creek bank that always gets filled in when the spring runoff overflows. It’s an ugly, backbreaking job that no one likes, but it has to be done. With heavy rain in the forecast, it was best to get it over with.

\n

We headed to town and ran some errands before we picked up the snake at the rental place. I overheard the young man who was helping Mr. FixIt lift this monstrosity into the back of his truck.

\n

“Who’s going to help you unload this thing?”

\n

“That little lady sitting in the front seat up there.” Mr. FixIt sounded confident and proud.

\n

We stopped at the store on the way home and I don’t believe, even at Thanksgiving, I have ever seen so many people. The parking lot was filled. People were circling round and round. There were no carts. And the checkout lines were twenty deep. Mr. FixIt and I looked at each other like, “What the heck?”

\n

“They’re predicting snow!” I said. “Let the games begin.”

\n

I told him to just drive around and I’d be back out in a jiffy. As I headed into the store, the line from Hunger Games went through my mind.

\n

“May the odds be ever in your favor!” 

\n

I scooted to the back and bought the two items I needed. Non-alcohol beer and a chuck roast. I’m easy. I waited two minutes and hit the self-checkout and was out the door in a flash. There were people in there with multiple jugs of milk and loaves of bread…as if they were anticipating being stuck in their homes for weeks. When we stopped at the discount grocer earlier, I planned ahead by buying an extra bag of flour in case I got a hankerin’ to bake something. It’s crazy what a snow forecast does in West Virginia. It’s a good thing it’s the weekend. I’ve seen them cancel school based on a forecast.

\n

I used to kind of think these people were weenies when they cancelled school at the first sign of snow. After all, I lived in Colorado for forty years. If you don’t get out and go someplace when it snows, you’re going to be stuck in your house from October to May. But I’ve got to say, in these people’s defense, driving here in winter is NOTHING like Colorado. There, you can drive 55 in a whiteout blizzard, not that you SHOULD. Here, you don’t dare touch your brakes going 25 or you’ll be in a ditch in a heartbeat. The roads are twisty-turny and hilly. And they have this thing called black ice. It looks the same as wet pavement and it’s deadly. I get it now…people don’t want to go out in it. And school busses have no business hauling our babes through it if it can be prevented.

\n

When we got home, I had to help Mr. FixIt unload that drain snake. I am telling you what…that sucker was HEAVY. Fortunately it’s on wheels so when we got it out of the truck all we had to do was wheel it to the back stairwell. Then we had to walk it down the stairs. Oy! Once it was down there, I went on inside and Mr. FixIt got to work. After some time, I didn’t hear the machine anymore so I went to see how he was doing. I found him out at the creek bank digging out the ditch. Living on five acres without city sewer isn’t always easy. That was a lot of hard work. I helped him get the contraption back up the steps and into the bed of the truck. 

\n

“You’re a hard worker,” he said. 

\n

“Thanks for telling me that, but you’re the one who did the tough stuff. I’ll fix you some supper while you clean up.” I smiled as I patted his bum when I walked by.

\n

German comfort food seemed to be the perfect meal for the hard workers last night. I boiled kielbasa to leach out some of the salt then tossed it in a skillet with some melted butter. I drained the sauerkraut and added it to the skillet, stirring occasionally so it would brown but not burn. I made mashed potatoes and served the kielbasa/kraut mixture on top. Oh, it was heavenly! It was a good day’s work and that is so satisfying. ❤️

\n
“Let the favor of the Lord our God be upon us, and establish the work of our hands upon us; yes, establish the work of our hands!”\n

Psalms 90:17 ESV

\n", "date_published": "2019-01-19T02:30:11-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/01/19/german-comfort-food.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","West Virginia","Gratitude","Wisdom","Courage","Humbled","Presence","Choices","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/01/16/little-vintage-campers.html", "title": "Little Vintage Campers", "content_html": "

\"Little “Little vintage campers…how many people were IN this thing?”

\n

Yesterday, Mr. FixIt and I were having breakfast when he picked up his phone to show me something. He watches Facebook Marketplace closely because, you know, you never know when you might need one more thing, right? Anyway, there was an ad in there for a 1969 Shasta Compact camper. Swoon! Anyone who knows anything about campers knows Shasta is kind of a status symbol for campers. This particular one was being converted into a food trailer, but it’s too small for the job so the people are trying to unload it. It’s gutted already, no leaks, towable, new tires, and only $500. Not bad.

\n

We contacted the gal and as one might imagine, she already has people coming to look at it, so the chance of me even getting to see it are pretty slim. And, like I need another project! Anyway, if I get to see it, I’ll take pics and show you.

\n

Thinking about tiny little campers got me to looking at vintage camping art and photos. Look at this tiny little camper. Now, look at how many people there are camping. Wow! It’s like one of those clown cars where clowns keep coming out one after another! Cars were a lot heavier and more powerful back then so you would see the family car pulling a really big trailer. Do you remember the movie Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz made called The Long, Long, Long Trailer? It was huge but they pulled it with a convertible!

\n

I never camped as a kid, but I remember going over to a friend’s house and they had a camper. Us kids were allowed to go in it and use it like a playhouse. I remember being absolutely mesmerized by it and I wanted one in the worst way. I was always married to non-campers till Mr. FixIt came along. Now we have four campers between us and I am preparing to convert an old minivan into a mini campervan. Oh yeah…I REALLY need another camper! ?‍♀️

\n

❤️

\n
“For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it? Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who see it begin to mock him, saying, 'This man began to build and was not able to finish.'”\n

Luke 14:28-30 ESV

\n", "date_published": "2019-01-16T02:30:55-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/01/16/little-vintage-campers.html", "tags": ["Travel","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Sisters on the Fly","Positive Energy","Camping","The Grand Adventure","Fun","Growth","Gratitude","goRVing","Love","Girl Camper","Girl Campers","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/01/14/the-water-crisis.html", "title": "The Water Crisis", "content_html": "

\"Running “If a crisis occurred and you didn’t have modern conveniences…would you know what to do?”

\n

An alert went out to a good portion of the residents of my home town Thursday evening. There was a boil water advisory. This happens when there has been a water main break or something of the like. It seldom lasts more than a day. Not this one. What started out as “north of the Kanawha River” became “all PUD customers” overnight. Water was coming out of faucets anywhere from clear to partly cloudy to brown. Some people had no pressure at all. Others had a dribble. Still others seemed unaffected but a ban is a ban. 

\n

It was interesting to watch Facebook as people became more and more concerned. There really wasn’t a very good explanation given to allay the fears of the citizenry. And, given we live in Chemical Valley, imaginations ran wild. It really could have been anything. Some said it was still ok to shower. Some said not. Others said it was ok to wash your clothes but when they did, large brown spots stained them. Now, I’ll have to admit…this situation did not affect me personally because we live out in the country away from that particular city water system. But, I’ve lived through things like this many times and it is not only a major inconvenience….it can be downright scary.

\n

It happened fairly often in Colorado. Just about every year when the spring runoff brought an over abundance of silt down into the city water intake, the filters were soon overwhelmed and our water got murky. There would often be a boil water advisory. My cousin has to haul water to fill a cistern since they live on the side of a mountain here in West Virginia. When they get a good hard rain, their water turns a murky reddish-brown. Out at the farm, there is a rainwater catchment system in place, but it’s been decades since the cistern has been cleaned or the filter changed. The point being, there are lots of folks who have to boil water on a regular basis. Or they just resort to buying water or taking empty jugs to a family member’s house to refill them. That’s what I did after Mr. FixIt and I started dating. I had about a dozen one gallon jugs I threw in my truck and I filled them when I visited him in town.

\n

For those of us more accustomed to living a more primitive life, these things are par for the course and you just roll with them. But city people who rely on the immediate availability of fresh water at the turn of the faucet get rattled. I don’t blame them. We are creatures of habit and we become complacent in our consumption of utilities. This is such a first world problem. So much of the world’s population has no access to fresh water, let alone electricity, gas, internet, phone, and groceries. 

\n

What would (will?) happen to us if the unthinkable happens and it all goes away??? Will you know how to collect and filter water? Will you know how to produce and preserve food? Will you be able to provide housing and clothing for yourself and your family? Will you be able to gather fuel to cook and keep warm? Do you have skills or goods for bartering? I worry that the last generation to really have those skills is getting too old to provide them. So, here is what I posit. If you have skills, pass them on to young people…your children, grandchildren, great grandchildren. 

\n

This isn’t meant to cause an alarmist response. I don’t think something like this is imminent. But it cannot hurt to stock up on some extra jugs of water in case there is an emergency in your area. Parkersburg’s boil advisory wasn’t lifted until last evening. That made three full days without tap water for a pretty good-sized town. I’m not saying you have to go full on survivalist, but knowledge is power. Be prepared…or as prepared as you can be. ❤️

\n
“Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring.”\n

Proverbs 27:1 ESV

\n", "date_published": "2019-01-14T02:30:26-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/01/14/the-water-crisis.html", "tags": ["Health","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Wisdom","Courage","Presence","Warning","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/01/10/johnny-jaxxa-story-of-devotion.html", "title": "Johnny \u0026 Jaxx...A Story of Devotion", "content_html": "

\"Doggy “Rosie (L), Jaxx (C), and Johnny Boy (R) celebrate Johnny’s 4th Gotcha Day!”

\n

We talk a lot here about death and dying, loss and grief. We talk about losing our parents…aunts…uncles…cousins, our siblings, our children, our friends, and our spouses. We don’t talk a whole lot here about when we lose our beloved fur-babies…those wonderful fur-covered angels that grace us with their presence for a few short years, only to be yanked away far, far too soon.

\n

Losing our beloved pets affects most of us the same way as losing a human member of the family. Our hearts break. We grieve. We are lost. We get the same brain fog. The same yearning. If you are an animal lover and have ever been fortunate enough to share your life with a companion animal, then you know what I am saying is true.

\n

\"Sick “Johnny Boy arrived so sick with Parvovirus we didn’t think he would live.”

\n

My first dog as an adult was an Aussie/Blue Heeler mix named Boofer. She was brilliant. The only dog I truly did not have to train. I just talked to her and she knew exactly what I wanted from her. And she would do her level best to please me. She had to be put down at the young age of seven after a diagnosis of a pituitary tumor. We managed her symptoms with medication as long as we could but when she went blind, it was time to set her free.

\n

Animal owners know their time with their fur-babies is limited. Boofer was gone too soon. Old Mama Kitty was at least 23-24 years old. Sidney was 14…a big, goofy black lab who owned my heart during a really dark period of my life. Mr. Virgo showed up with a 10-year-old Yorkie/Maltese mix named Cricket who lived to be seventeen. She died just three months before Mr. Virgo did. That was my last dog. I just didn’t have it in me to do it again and my lifestyle isn’t conducive to pet ownership.

\n

\"Boxer “Johnny Boy is absolutely CRAZY over kittens! He has to have one…always!”

\n

My friend Aimee is the Grande Dame of animal rescues. If it moves and squeaks, oinks, meows, moos, neighs, or barks…Aimee has to bring it home. Her husband rolls his eyes when another goat or chicken or rabbit or puppy makes an appearance at their West Virginia homestead. It’s all a show…he adores Aimee and if she needs to rescue another dog, she rescues another dog. As she says…she married well.

\n

Four years ago, Aimee fostered little Johnny Boy…a mastiff-boxer mix who was dreadfully thin. They soon found he was also dreadfully sick. Johnny nearly died….several times…of parvovirus and parasites and any number of problems. They went to every length to save this little guy’s life. When he got through the initial illness, Johnny Boy started having trouble walking. His joints became swollen and painful. They finally discovered he had a very rare disease of the epiphyseal joints in his legs. After a trip to the State Veterinary School in Columbus, a treatment was finally found and Johnny boy began to thrive and grow. 

\n

Then, just before the holidays, Aimee found hundreds of little bumps under Johnny’s skin. Again, Johnny Boy does nothing halfway and it took quite some doing to get a diagnosis. When they did, it was not good. It was a rare cancer and there is nothing they can do for him. So, Aimee decided Johnny Boy’s end of life would include the very best days ever. 

\n

\"Bonded “Johnny & Jaxx…BFF’s Forever!”

\n

A few months ago, Johnny’s BFF…Jaxx…moved to Florida with his human person. And Johnny was devastated. When they found out Johnny Boy doesn’t have a long time to live, Jaxx’s owner drove him from Florida and left him in Aimee’s care for as long as Johnny needs him. Johnny and Jaxx are insanely bonded. I mean…they FaceTime each other. Seriously!

\n

The other night, Aimee threw Johnny Boy a four year “Gotcha Party” to celebrate and Johnny, Jaxx, and Rosie donned their party hats and sat in the little chairs around the table. They ate scrambled eggs for supper and had Pupcake for dessert. I loved watching the video!

\n

Aimee posted a video yesterday that shows Johnny having a little trouble breathing. His type of tumor releases histamines and they make his nasal passages swell which in turn makes it difficult to breathe. She knows this is the beginning of the end. And, trust me, she will never let Johnny Boy suffer. When it is his time, she will let him go peacefully. In the meantime, she suffers the anticipatory grief knowing Johnny’s time on earth is short. Yet, she shares him with us…and with Jaxx. I SO love this crazy mutt who came in and stole all our hearts and showed us what loving a rescue is all about. He truly is made of love and sunshine. ❤️

\n
“The righteous care for the needs of their animals, but the kindest acts of the wicked are cruel.”\n

Proverbs 12:10 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2019-01-10T02:30:03-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/01/10/johnny-jaxxa-story-of-devotion.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Humbled","Aging","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/01/06/the-pivoting-point.html", "title": "The Pivoting Point", "content_html": "
\n\"Snow\n\n
\nWhen I woke up the morning of January 6, 2000...I had no idea I had spent the last night of my life in Hubby #2’s bed. Because, it very nearly became the ACTUAL last night of my life. In about 12 hours, I was going to be in the ER fighting for my life after an overdose. \n

This is the day that I refer to as my re-birthday. It was the day I hit rock bottom and had to start navigating my way back up. It wasn’t like I really wanted to die. I just wanted the pain to stop. Everything had become so painful.

\n

I used to tell the details of this day over and over and over to anyone who would sit still. I told about my relationship to a man who wasn’t taking care of me the way I needed. He’s not a bad man at all. Years of illness and my altered personality from all those drugs had taken their toll on both of us. I told about the psychiatrist who misdiagnosed me as having a chemical imbalance in my brain. I told about how my life experiences, including episodes of childhood sexual abuse, had created the perfect storm that produced that fateful day. 

\n

It’s nineteen years now. So close to two decades. Not quite one third of my life has passed. SO much has happened in those nineteen years, including burying my next husband. I am a sum of my experiences, as we all are. But, I am not DEFINED by those experiences anymore.

\n

The person I am today doesn’t resemble who I was back then. The only cells that are the same ones now that were present on that night at the turn of the millennium are neurons…the very cells I was trying to shut off. Everything else has been made new…both physically with the passage of time, and spiritually with my salvation. 

\n

The value of the story has changed. I no longer want you to take sides with me and hate my ex-husband. I no longer want to make excuses for my behaviors. I no longer want you to feel sorry for me. These things were all present for some time in the retelling. Now, the value of the story isn’t so much the yardstick that measures how far I’ve come, but more a testimony that…no matter how far you’ve gone down the wrong path…you can turn around and have a better life.

\n

While my abuse came from prescriptions, and Danielle’s (see my post about her earlier this week) came from street drugs and a needle, we are no different. We were both addicted and we were both saved by the same Grace. We were both snatched from the jaws of death by a loving and forgiving God. He didn’t cause our problems, but he did allow us to walk through them so we could learn and grow into the purpose He designed for our lives.

\n

It’s hard for me to believe that was me…that I was that far gone. I will tell you this, though…I will forever tell how Jesus picked me up and carried me when I stumbled and fell on January 6, 2000. ❤️

\n
“so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.”\n

Isaiah 55:11 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2019-01-06T02:30:09-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/01/06/the-pivoting-point.html", "tags": ["Faith","Health","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","God","Wisdom","Fear","Forgiveness","Courage","Warning","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/01/05/thwarting-a-spiritual-attack.html", "title": "Thwarting a Spiritual Attack", "content_html": "

\"Psalm “Man says…show me and I’ll trust you. God says…trust me and I’ll show you.” Psalm 126:6

\n

So, I was minding my own business, tucked under my blanket, happily knitting when I got a text . My dear friends Janine and Gail and I have a chat room where we visit just about every day. Janine was traveling through and was stopping at Gail’s to spend the night. I was three hours away but I wasn’t going to miss out on seeing my good friends. Impromptu road trip!

\n

I got here just after dark. Janine had her friend Diane with her and I was thrilled to meet her. Another friend, Jan, came to join us and we just had a grand time. Diane is a devout Christian and is a PR person. Jan is a retired pastor. You can imagine our entire evening was talking about our stories and how God has worked in our lives. 

\n

I was standing in the kitchen giving Diane my testimony about finding Jesus when I started feeling ill. It worsened over the hour and I headed upstairs with a bucket, just in case. Everyone had gone to bed so when I came to Janine’s door I tapped. 

\n

“Janine?”

\n

“Yes, dear.” She opened the door wide. Her smile quickly faded when she saw me. “Ginny? What’s wrong?” She came into the hall and touched my arm. 

\n

“Janine, I’m being spiritually attacked!”  I knew it as sure as I knew my own name. I was suddenly, violently ill.

\n

I spent the prior twenty-four hours pretty immersed in Jesus. I watched War Room…a powerful movie about spiritual warfare. Then I came to Gail’s and spent a whole evening talking about very powerful, spiritual things. There were five very strong women engaged in animated spiritual conversation. 

\n

Janine and Diane came into the room and laid hands on me and prayed fervently. Within a half hour, I felt much better. 

\n

If you don’t believe in such a thing as spiritual warfare, I am here to tell you it’s a very real thing. The enemy does not like when powerful, spiritual women start professing faith like we were. But his power is in whispering lies and making you believe things that are not real. We sent him packing. A whole army of angels surrounded me and kicked his butt! We can just rejoice in that for a while, ok? I believe! ❤️

\n
“Jesus turned and said to Peter, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns.””\n

Matthew 16:23 NIV

\n 

\n", "date_published": "2019-01-05T02:30:25-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/01/05/thwarting-a-spiritual-attack.html", "tags": ["Faith","Health","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Fear","Forgiveness","Courage","Girl Campers","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/01/04/snatched-from-the-jaws-of.html", "title": "Snatched From the Jaws of Death", "content_html": "

\"Young “She was snatched from the jaws of addiction and saved by the Blood of Jesus.”

\n

She’s just twenty-four. Yet she was addicted to heroin for six years. And occasionally she did meth. On April 14th, she overdosed on both and landed in the ICU for four days on life support. She wasn’t even out of the ER when she popped up on my radar. I’m in a small group at church with someone who knows Danielle very well. The text came in begging for prayers to save this beautiful girl.

\n

And pray we did. Our whole church prayed for her. Actively. Daily. There were prayer warriors stationed at the hospital. There were friends and family talking with her. They wanted to connect her with someone who could help her in this fight. And they wanted Jesus in Danielle’s corner.

\n

She resisted, as you might imagine. At first she said she’d talk to him. Then she wouldn’t. And finally, just before discharge, she relented. I’m unsure of the exact timeline, but I know it wasn’t long till this beautiful girl was saved in a parking lot with many prayers surrounding her.

\n

The change that has come over Danielle is remarkable. When you see her today, and see the light of Jesus on her, it is so hard to imagine her shooting heroin into her veins. She has attended a faith-based residential program three times. These weren’t three dropouts. This was three separate sessions. Because, as anyone who has been set free of the demon of addiction can tell you, it’s never a one and done situation. It is a life-long learning process. And she is committed.

\n

A couple of days ago, Danielle took a plane to Hawaii to attend discipleship training. When she arrived, her luggage was somewhere in Dallas. When she got to the campus to check in, she found out there had been a miscommunication and she was short on funds…four figures short on funds. She reached out to her church family and we raised the funds in about three hours. There is no way to hide God’s work in this. And it is so obvious the enemy doesn’t like it. He tried to throw a wrench in the works at every turn but our God is a mighty God. It wasn’t long till the enemy was put in his place.

\n

Last night, I watched War Room. I’ve always considered myself to be…if not a prayer warrior…then at the very least, a fervent prayer. Oh, my…that movie has me planning a War Room of my own! People like Danielle remind us of the power of prayer. I am so proud of her hard work and her willingness to keep plugging at this. I can’t wait to see what she learns in discipleship training. I cant wait to see what God has in store for her! I’m so happy God plucked her from the jaws of death because I know He has plans for her…to prosper her and not to harm her. ❤️

\n
“I must go on boasting. Although there is nothing to be gained, I will go on to visions and revelations from the Lord. I know a man in Christ who fourteen years ago was caught up to the third heaven. Whether it was in the body or out of the body I do not know—God knows. And I know that this man—whether in the body or apart from the body I do not know, but God knows— was caught up to paradise and heard inexpressible things, things that no one is permitted to tell. I will boast about a man like that, but I will not boast about myself, except about my weaknesses.”\n

2 Corinthians 12:1-5 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2019-01-04T02:30:51-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/01/04/snatched-from-the-jaws-of.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Change","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/12/30/gwendolyns-journey-with-arthrogryposis.html", "title": "Gwendolyn’s Journey with Arthrogryposis", "content_html": "

\"Arthrogryposis\" “Baby Gwen was born with arthrogryposis…a rare congenital anomaly that causes some joints in the body to be stiff and bent in odd directions.”

\n

A few months ago, I asked you to pray for my friend’s little baby granddaughter and you all stood up and joined hands and prayed hard. Baby Gwen came into this world a beautiful little flower…but some of her petals were damaged. She has arthrogryposis…a rare congenital defect that affects multiple joints. There are typically joint contractures which may be stuck in one position. The muscles surrounding these joints may be weak, stiff, or even missing altogether. Little Gwen’s left leg was bent backwards and lay across her tummy. Her feet and hands are turned inward and her little chin is drastically receded. 

\n

\"Meme “Her damaged petals are what made her more beautiful than all the other flowers.” A. J. Lawless

\n

As Gwen has grown, some of these contractures have needed to be addressed more urgently. Because her lower jaw recedes, she cannot drink from a bottle. She eventually had a stomach tube placed to get tube feedings directly into her stomach. And, because she can’t swallow, her normal saliva can choke her to death. She has to have someone awake with her 24/7 in order to suction her airway when her secretions get in her way. Between her airway and tube feedings, physical therapy and doctor’s visits, little Gwen is more than a fulltime job. I’m telling you this though…God couldn’t have given her to a better family than the one she’s in. 

\n

\"Leg “Gwen has had a series of casts placed on her legs to bring them down into position for surgical repair.”

\n

The latest surgery was a tendectomy. This will clear the way for eventually walking. I know it’s hard to imagine her ever walking when you look at that newborn picture, but she has had a series of casts as well as the surgery and her legs are down much closer where they need to be. She is just now being able to coo and gurgle baby gibberish and it makes your heart soar when you see her in a video. Her huge, sensitive eyes look into your very soul. She is the sweetest little thing.

\n

\"Stomach “Baby Gwen is fed through a tube placed surgically into her stomach because she cannot swallow well enough to eat.”

\n

Gwen’s parents are young. Mommy had to quit her job to stay home with the baby. With all the expenses that go along with a situation like this, there is also a Go Fund Me page to help with daily expenses and challenges. I rarely share this kind of thing, asking for donations, but I know this family personally. They are a wonderful, close knit family who needs a little extra help. It’s the end of the year. If you find you need to donate a little more, or if the Spirit moves you, please consider helping this young family out. 

\n

\"Arthrogryposis\" “The muscles in Gwen’s arms and hands are weak and she is just now learning to ‘hold’ toys.”

\n

You can find Gwendolyn’s story at:

\n

https://www.facebook.com/GwendolynsJourney/

\n

You can find their Go Fund Me page at:

\n

https://www.gofundme.com/gwendolyn-strong

\n

\"Baby “I look forward to every post as I follow Gwendolyn’s Journey. This baby will never be told she can’t do something…they will just find a way.”

\n
“As Jesus was walking along, he saw a man who had been born blind. His followers asked him, “Teacher, whose sin caused this man to be born blind—his own sin or his parents’ sin?” Jesus answered, “It is not this man’s sin or his parents’ sin that made him blind. This man was born blind so that God’s power could be shown in him.”\n

John 9:1-3 ICB

\n", "date_published": "2018-12-30T02:30:15-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/12/30/gwendolyns-journey-with-arthrogryposis.html", "tags": ["Faith","Health","Family","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Humbled","Presence","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/12/11/kitchen-comforts.html", "title": "Kitchen Comforts", "content_html": "

\"Roses\" “Mr. FixIt brought me roses.”

\n

When I’m struggling with grief, a day in the kitchen does wonders for me. Mr. FixIt knew I hadn’t slept well the last couple of nights since learning the sad news of Miss Louisa passing away, so he was gracious and let me sleep in as long as I wanted to yesterday. I must say, when I awoke around 11:00, I did feel much better. I padded into the kitchen to make my coffee and greet my sweet man in the family room…steaming mug in hand.

\n

I snuggled into the loveseat and wrapped my blue fox blanket around me. The Christmas tree was decorated and standing to my left in front of the big picture windows. The gas stove was cranked up and putting off some decent heat. The heavy frost still laid white on the grass and trees in my view. And, amazingly, the forsythia had several bright yellow blooms on them casting a stark contrast to the grey palette of December.

\n

I sipped my coffee while Mr. FixIt read the paper. The TV droned quietly in the background…some fourteen year old was answering questions on a game show. I tuned it out as I stared at the decorations on the tree and took inventory of my feelings. The pain I felt when I heard the news of yet another loss was easing a little and shifting to the lonesomeness of not being able to pick up the phone and call whenever I want. It is familiar turf for me.

\n

After a while, I sighed and went into the bedroom to dress. Mr. FixIt put on his insulated coveralls and went outside to work a while. I carried my second cup to the living room and sat down to knit on a pair of socks. I texted my friend Gail who is touring Europe to see how she is doing. My friend Janine sent me a text to remind me she was going live at 3:00CST. I put my phone away and turned Pandora to “Traditional Christmas.” I spent the next hour or so in quiet meditation, my hands wrapping the wool yarn around the needles with the muscle memory of a skill I learned in my youth.

\n

I decided to mix up a batch of oatmeal raisin cookies and was pulling the last batch from the oven as Mr. FixIt came in from the cold. I turned on the kettle and he had a nice cup of tea as he ate a cookie, still warm from the oven. He watched me move around the kitchen, cleaning up the bowls and baking pans. I sensed his eyes on me. This is the relationship we delight in. I looked up from wiping the counter and he smiled.

\n

“You treat me so well.”

\n

I smiled back. A knowing smile. An appreciative smile. This is the part of him that is like Mr. Virgo. He loves and appreciates me and is quick to tell me. I love that. 

\n

“I like spoiling you,” I grinned. He laughed, gave me a little pat as he tucked his mug in the kitchen sink. He pulled up his coveralls and went back outside. I watched him as he walked out the door. How can a coverall make a man look that sexy? I smiled as I tucked the towel in the door handle of the oven and turned out the light. I had another hour to knit before I started supper.

\n

When I was at the farm the other night, I brought home a pot roast from the freezer. When it was thawed, I cut it in cubes. I put about a cup of flour in a gallon ziplock bag with some salt and pepper and dropped in the cubed roast. I tossed the meat in the flour, rubbing the pieces through the bag to ensure they were well coated then dropped them into a hot skillet with a little oil in it. When the meat had been seared on all sides, I removed it and put it in my electric pressure cooker. I put in a can of beef broth and a can of water, replaced the lid and pressure cooked the roast for 55 minutes. Once it was finished, I let it cool for about twenty minutes without releasing the pressure. I released the pressure carefully and removed the lid. The meat bubbled in a nice thickened gravy and smelled divine. I poured the meat and gravy out into a large storage container and set it on the counter. When it was cool enough, I popped it in the fridge to be used during the week for meals and sandwiches.

\n

Yesterday, I cooked up half a bag of egg noodles. I took out half the meat and gravy and placed it in a saucepan on low heat to warm up. I sautéed a whole package of sliced mushrooms in two tablespoons of butter. Everything was ready at the same time so I drained the pasta, and put it back in the pan, poured the beef and gravy in with the sautéed mushrooms and added 3/4 cup of sour cream. I gave it a quick stir and called Mr. FixIt to the table for supper.

\n

A day like that is soothing to the spirit. It reminded me that, while I miss those I have lost, I have skills in place that I did not have when I lost Mr. Virgo. It is not lost on me that I have the added blessing of this sweet man to be my companion and helpmate to love and support me as I navigate the losses. I kind of feel like I’m cheating…I don’t have to grieve alone like I did when I became a widow. That kind of grief is so much harder than this. I am grateful. ❤️

\n
“‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.””\n

Revelation 21:4 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2018-12-11T02:30:08-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/12/11/kitchen-comforts.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Presence","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/12/10/two-angels.html", "title": "Two Angels", "content_html": "

\"Wedding\" “Miss Louisa looks on as Mr. Virgo hugs me at our wedding. She loved being the honorary mom.”

\n

I contacted the photographer who shot Mr. Virgo’s and my wedding. I knew there would be many beautiful photos of my “other mother”, Miss Louisa. Marcia was wonderful. Although I offered to pay her for copies, she sent me a link to a digital folder with instructions to download the photos to use however I wish. I was busy all day yesterday with church and a trip to the mall to watch our little great granddaughter scream on Santa’s lap. I went to the farm while Mr. FixIt bowled. When I got home, I finally had time to sit down and view the photos.

\n

I was scrolling through them…remembering the day. How proud Louisa was to be my honorary mom. It was cool but the sun held the promise of spring and we were married out on the deck overlooking beautiful Mt. Sopris and the Roaring Fork River. I came to this photograph and my heart squeezed. Two angels. 

\n

Just then, Mr. FixIt called from the driveway and asked me to come open the door because he had his hands full. As I opened the door, he handed me a bouquet of roses. 

\n

“Here, baby…you’ve had a really hard week.”

\n

I smiled, gave him a hug and went to get the Mikasa crystal vase for the flowers as he took off his coat. Suddenly, it all hit me. I was trimming the ends of the stems, silent tears coming down my cheeks. I had my back to him, but he knew. He came in the kitchen and, concern in his voice said, “Are you ok?”

\n

I’ve never cried in front of Mr. FixIt. I cried in front of Mr. Virgo once. He gave me a look like, “Really? We’re doing THIS?” I stopped immediately and never did it again. It’s not that he wasn’t empathetic…he just didn’t emote much. Mr. FixIt is much the same as me on the emotion scale. It’s comforting knowing I can emote freely. Anyway, he wrapped me up in his arms and would have stood there in the kitchen all night hugging me if that’s what I needed.

\n

I knew the day would come when I would lose Louisa. We almost lost her nine years ago when she became very ill. They didn’t expect her to live through the night but she was a fighter. I knew when she died I would feel the same pain I felt when I lost my own mother. And that’s exactly the case. Anyone who got to know her and be close to her were blessed indeed. I got fifteen years with her in my life. I’m one of the lucky ones. ❤️

\n
“Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children,”\n

Titus 2:4 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2018-12-10T02:30:27-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/12/10/two-angels.html", "tags": ["Family","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Comfort","Grace","Love"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/11/24/collaborative-art-and-community.html", "title": "Collaborative Art and Community", "content_html": "

\"Collaborative A Collaborative Effort…Original Art by Lauren O’Neill with Augmentation by Ginny McKinney”

\n

I came late to the Twitter party. I started a Twitter account ages ago but never used it. I never really “got” it. It seemed like it was just people spouting off on politics or sharing vacation pictures or advertising whatever work-at-home business they were promoting. Then, about two years ago, I started a Twitter account for Marshmallow Ranch. 

\n

You know and I know, Marshmallow Ranch has been a blog about grief and life and all it entails…but the name doesn’t really reflect that. I’ve kept the name because it’s catchy and people remember it. But it got totally lost in the shuffle on Twitter. Sometime early this year, I had a brilliant flash of a name. The Grief Maven. Maven is a Yiddish word that means expert. I started another Twitter account and it has taken off like gangbusters. 

\n

I’ve been “meeting” some really wonderful, supportive people and never dreamed grief counseling in 280 character sound bites could be so helpful. It’s quick, to the point, and easy to read. I’m really enjoying it.

\n

There are some groups on Facebook that I enjoy as well. One is Wild Women Sisters in Creativity. It’s a group of over 31,000 free spirits to share their art. It’s nice to connect with creatives and take my mind off writing and onto creating. Yesterday, a gal posted a painting she was working on, seeking input. She was kind of stuck. She felt it needed something. When I saw the original piece, it was the red and blue background with the two shadowy figures alone on the canvas. It immediately made me think of what it feels like to walk this path without our person. Dark and lonely. And the longer it goes, the more they fade out into distant memory. I thought about what I would do with the painting.

\n

Immediately, I thought of the light of the full moon we are experiencing right now. My life has a lot more light in it now. It’s not a harsh, glaring light. It’s the soft, glowing light of peaceful contentment. Then I thought of a bird. To me, it represents the newness of this life, like a songbird in the woods. I have a fun app on my phone called “Over”. I use it every day to add my logo to my photos for the blog. I also use it to create memes when I need one. I took the liberty of saving the picture of the painting and popped a pale, full moon and a stylized bird on it. It immediately spoke to me. It gave the painting balance and a sense of movement.

\n

I contacted the artist. Lauren O’Neill. I showed her what I had done and she thanked me so much for taking the time. I told her a little bit about what I do and would she mind me using this collaborative art in my blog. She was happy to let me do so. It was fascinating to read all the suggestions people made regarding what the painting “needed”. I’m the only one with the audacity to post the augmented version back to her. Someone said, “This is too crowded and changes any intended meaning.” I love how art speaks to each person in their own language. To her, I ruined a perfectly good painting, and she had lots of company. Many thought the painting should stand as is. But many others made suggestions as to what the painting “needed”….a giant thumbprint, a moon, a plane, poppies, hearts. One said she lost her son three weeks ago and it reminded her of them together. Another said she senses energy and the figure on the left wasn’t balanced. It was amazing to read all the different interpretations.

\n

This is my first collaborative effort on a piece of art. I think I may have just started something! ❤️

\n
“Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?”\n

Amos 3:3 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2018-11-24T02:30:20-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/11/24/collaborative-art-and-community.html", "tags": ["Strong Women","New Ideas","Choices","Art"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/11/15/the-art-of-giving.html", "title": "The Art of Giving", "content_html": "

\"Shopping\" “Shopping for warm blankets with my small group.”

\n

I love this time of year. However, the first Christmas after Mr. Virgo died, I was so incredibly lost. I went to Denver to be with my family because I couldn’t bear to be alone. I think that’s pretty common among those who have lost a spouse.

\n

The holidays were so special to my late husband. He lived for Christmas especially. He planned all year. He paid attention to what I needed or wanted and he was incredibly generous with gifts…too much so, really. But it gave him such joy to see the look on my face when I opened something from him. He just wanted to keep seeing that look.

\n

That first lonely Christmas, one of the layers of the onion peeled back and revealed my days of receiving his well thought out gifts were over and it was just another beautiful thing torn from my life. I was bereft. I wanted something special from him, and since that was impossible, I decided to do something special for me. 

\n

I was driving down a busy Denver street the week before Christmas when I felt the gentle nudge of the Holy Spirit.

\n

“There…go there.” 

\n

I looked to the right and it was Walmart. I dutifully turned in and parked. As I was walking in, I heard….

\n

“Pay it forward.”

\n

I went to the layaway desk and inquired how I could pay off someone’s layaway. Unfortunately, they had called in the layaways the week before so whatever hadn’t been paid for was returned to the shelves. Not to be deterred, I went to the ATM, withdrew some money, bought a card, and sat down to write a note in it. I told the recipient about this gentle man who loved Christmas and the joy of giving. I told whoever was going to receive this that I was giving them what he would have given me. Then I sat down on the bench at the front of the store and waited for the next instructions.

\n

“Go back there. To the left…you’ll find them there.”

\n

I headed for the back left and found the toy department. I wandered around and saw several shoppers but none stood out. I went around the corner of an aisle and there they were. A young mom and dad. They pulled a toy from the shelf, looking hopeful. Then they looked for the price, looked at each other, looked defeated, and put it back. They did this several times as they moved slowly down the aisle. There was very little in their cart.

\n

I roamed back and forth, acting like I was very interested in something, but all the while trying to listen without being too obvious. What I wanted was for the woman to wander away from her bag for a moment so I could slip the envelope in and be on my way with the young couple none the wiser. She was a smart girl…she never left her bag for a moment. Finally, I decided I just had to move forward or I was going to look like a crazy stalker.

\n

I walked up to the woman and said, “Here. I think this is yours.” I handed her the envelope with the bills stuffed inside. She was puzzled. She looked up from the envelope and our eyes met. I smiled warmly, pulled her to me in a mom hug, and whispered, “Merry Christmas.” Then, before she could let it register, I turned on my heel and walked away straight out of the store, without looking back.

\n

I got to the car and my knees were shaking. I would have loved to have seen her face. But then she would have wanted to thank me or maybe even refuse the gift. Neither of which I wanted. I put the car in gear and headed to meet my family knowing I had shared something special with someone who needed it. I remember when I was a poor, single mom…trying to do the best for my own little one with very, very little resources. It felt good to give.

\n

The church I attend is huge, so in order to have that sense of a “church family”, we have small groups that meet for several weeks per session. The group I belong to has such amazing, strong Christian women. We are in a chat group and we offer prayers and support to each other as we share and learn and grow in the Lord. 

\n

This year, our Pastor challenged the groups to find a service project and complete it by the end of the session. We couldn’t decide on just one so we supported two. The Women’s Care Center and the Mission for the homeless. Last night we met at a discount store in town and loaded three shopping carts full to overflowing. We bought children’s clothes, long john’s, hats, and 20 blankets and wheeled our purchases to the foyer. There, we stood around the carts and placed our hands on the bounty and prayed…out loud, in the store, in front of God and everybody. We asked for God to bless these items that they would doubly warm the recipients. We asked that they feel God’s love for them when they wrap themselves in the blankets. Then we headed for the mission.

\n

\"Bags “The bounty!”

\n

When we came in, laden with bag after bag of stuff, the man behind the desk said, “What have we here?”

\n

“Blankets! From The Warehouse Church!!!” We said, in unison.

\n

“Oh, my gosh…that’s exactly what we needed. I ran out of blankets this evening!”

\n

I smiled. I kinda felt Mr. Virgo grinning…poking me in the ribs.

\n

“See, babydoll! That’s what I’m talkin’ about. It’s better to give than to receive. Giving is an art form.”

\n

Yes…I do love this time of year. ❤️

\n
“Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. As it is written: “They have freely scattered their gifts to the poor; their righteousness endures forever.””  2 Corinthians 9:7-9 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2018-11-15T02:30:37-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/11/15/the-art-of-giving.html", "tags": ["Faith","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","God","Wisdom","Humbled","Presence","Choices","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/10/23/my-west-virginia-sisters.html", "title": "My West Virginia Sisters", "content_html": "

\"Girlfriends “My West Virginia sisters.”

\n

I didn’t have a sister growing up. I had girl cousins that meant the world to me. I had sister friends in high school that were very important to me. Then life got in the way and I lived in England for two years, then Colorado for forty. Sometimes I would see high school friends when I came to WV for family visit. And we would touch base and reminisce at high school reunions. But it wasn’t until I moved back home that I developed a tight network of girlfriends who are as close as family.

\n

When I first returned to my hometown, I asked a friend how often the girls get together for coffee…assuming they, like me, gathered with other women at least monthly…if not weekly. I was dismayed when I found out this wasn’t a “thing” here. I was sad for all those potential relationships that had fallen by the wayside. I thought of all the events in a lifetime that hadn’t been shared…all the times when support was needed that only a really good girlfriend can provide. So, I set out to introduce my gal pals to the joys of coffee.

\n

Not coffee, literally…but “coffee” as in a gathering for talk therapy and laughter and sharing and support. I’m happy to say we get together monthly at a historic hotel and kibbutz. We have become so close and we all look forward to seeing each other at least once a month. Sometimes more.

\n

I was thrilled so many of our classmates could come to our wedding. And to have the ‘71 Divas join us was icing on the proverbial cake. Our photographer, Elizabeth Adams, had so much fun taking our pictures and she did an excellent job in capturing the joy and love and laughter of the day. Here’s my favorite picture of me and the Divas admiring my turquoise boots. What a hoot! I love these gals! ❤️

\n

“Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.”  Proverbs 13:20 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2018-10-23T01:30:37-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/10/23/my-west-virginia-sisters.html", "tags": ["Family","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Fun","West Virginia","Gratitude","Love","Aging","Wedding"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/10/13/sparkles-and-sunshine.html", "title": "Sparkles and Sunshine", "content_html": "

\"Sparkly “My fancy earrings from Daughter #2…perfect for the wedding!”

\n
“Always be humble, gentle, and patient, accepting each other in love. You are joined together with peace through the Spirit, so make every effort to continue together in this way.”  Ephesians 4:2-3 NCV
\nOur good friends, Dianne and Bobby came over to the Ponderosa yesterday and helped us decorate the tent for the wedding. We moved the forty bails of hay and made rows of seating. We strung five hundred white twinkle lights above. We set up the serving tables and hung the cross at the front. We have the extra bales out front and I finally found a use for these two pieces of rustic decorative fencing I’ve had for years. The quilts are all in plastic tubs to keep from gathering moisture. The pulled pork goes in a slow oven in the morning and the fried chicken goes in the smoker to heat up.\n

The soft drinks and water are already in the big galvanized washtubs chilling outdoors overnight and ice will be added in the afternoon. My sweet friend Deneene came from South Carolina and arrived at 4:30. We went to town to fill up two big propane tanks for TOW-Wanda because I ran out of propane in the middle of the night. It was REALLY cold by morning! We dropped the tanks back off at the Ponderosa then we went to the farm to get Mr. FixIt’s white dinner jacket. As I was leaving I saw my mom’s quilt peeking out from under a stack of linens and grabbed it. I also brought the big box of fireworks we bought for the wedding. 

\n

And now, the day is here. I found a bag with a bunch of jewelry in it when I was at the farm yesterday. Last night I was showing my friend Deneene something in the bag and ran across these earrings. Daughter #2 bought me these for Christmas many years ago. I never had an occasion to wear time so they have been tucked away in a safe place…just waiting for the most special occasion. I sent my daughter this picture and asked if she remembered these. I told her I finally have a special occasion to wear them. You’re supposed to have something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue. I haven’t borrowed anything yet, but the center stone in these earrings is the palest ice blue topaz, they’re old in that I’ve had them for years and they’re new in that I have never worn them. My daughter said that made her all fuzzy inside. I wish my girls could be here. But we will celebrate when we get to Colorado next. 

\n

Today! TODAY!!! I’m marrying my best friend today. The sweetest man on the planet. I’ve never been more ready, more prepared. 

\n

“Thank you, Jesus…for every gift, every blessing, every friend and family member. Bless those who cannot join us today. Bless my cousin Tom and his wife Suzy as he fights the ravages of mesothelioma. Bless my Uncle Bud and cousins as they sit with their wife and mother as she inches toward her final journey home. And Bless all these wonderful people who come here to read about how You impact my life. Lord, thank you for the gift of love from Mr. Virgo. Thank you for letting lightning strike twice and bringing me Mr FixIt. This is a love affair for the ages!

\n

And, as always…To God be the Glory.

\n

Amen”

\n

❤️

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2018-10-13T01:30:02-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/10/13/sparkles-and-sunshine.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Fun","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!","Starting Over","Wedding"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/10/02/im-a-risktaking-storyteller.html", "title": "I’m a Risk-taking Storyteller", "content_html": "

\"Inspired “I am willing to risk being wrong.”

\n
“He who observes the wind will not sow, and he who regards the clouds will not reap. As you do not know the way the spirit comes to the bones in the womb of a woman with child, so you do not know the work of God who makes everything. In the morning sow your seed, and at evening withhold not your hand, for you do not know which will prosper, this or that, or whether both alike will be good. Light is sweet, and it is pleasant for the eyes to see the sun. So if a person lives many years, let him rejoice in them all; but let him remember that the days of darkness will be many. All that comes is vanity.”  \n

Ecclesiastes 11:4-8 ESV

\nLet’s face it…I’m a risk-taker. I wasn’t always. I stood at the edge of many a precipice, leaning forward just enough to deem the venture far too scary to attempt. And, being a perfectionist compounded the issue with my “If I can’t overachieve, I will not try” personality. This has kept me from experiencing many incredible  moments that, at the very least would have been entertaining, and more than likely would have changed my life. But, change wasn’t something I was interested in. 

\n

I remember when my 20-year marriage was falling apart. I had been in therapy for depression stemming from a past filled with abuse, both to me and by me. Sexual abuse. Emotional abuse. Alcohol abuse. Prescription abuse. When my ex-husband was at the end of his rope, he had some therapy of his own to gain the tools he needed to take care of himself. He was changing right in front of me and it scared me more than anything else had. Because I knew where this was headed. My long-standing abandonment issues assured me I would be alone and destitute and living on the streets. Of course, that never happened, but I distinctly remember him saying something to me and asking him just how much he was going to change because I didn’t like it. I can look back on that moment now and realize he was actually saving my life, but at the time, I was horrified. 

\n

When I found myself dangling by the end of my own rope, I was forced to change or die. I’d love to say it was an easy choice and I moved right on by the huge crevasse that had opened in my life, but that was not the case. I overdosed and came as close to death as I care to go at this point in my life. And that was, as they say, the bottom of the barrel. 

\n

I wasn’t a Christian yet, but I saw a tunnel before me of the most beautiful shade of cobalt blue surrounded with rays of gold…like a giant eclipse of the sun. While I was in this tunnel, my dead grandma came to me and stood by my side. She sternly told me, “Get back down there, young lady! You have work to do!” It took me five years and the death of my mother and the prayers of some really great people to find Jesus and my life changed in an instant. Not that my circumstances were ideal and I didn’t still struggle. I did. But I felt every cell in my body come alive and become new. It was…THE change. The really BIG change. 

\n

My fear level plummeted. I became a risk taker. After two failed marriages, Mr. Virgo came into my life and I plunged off the cliff of a third marriage holding hands with a wonderful man. We enjoyed seven years of this bliss before he died suddenly as we were planning our golden years. Grief chiseled me into who I am today. Stronger, to be sure. Softer, more empathetic. Grief became my story…and I’m an avid storyteller. 

\n

Now, here I am…about to jump off the cliff again. My fourth marriage. I swear, it’s my LAST marriage. Daughter #1 has taken to calling me “Liz”. Someone asked me the other day if I was scared. My answer was, “Heck no! I’m marrying my very best friend whom I’ve known for fifty years. Bring it on!” I realized a couple of days later what she meant….

\n

Was I scared of losing Mr. FixIt like I lost Mr. Virgo?

\n

I pondered. This is why no one likes to talk about death and grief. It hits too darned close to home. Am I worried that Mr. FixIt will drop dead in front of me? I’d be lying if I said no. Am I willing to risk going through loss and grief again so that I can experience the love of another wonderful man? Absolutely! And you know why I say that? Because, I’m a risk-taker now. Ever since I laid everything on the line for Jesus, I’ve been firmly in the camp of “I’m willing to risk being wrong.”  It took me 14 months of being engaged to Mr. FixIt to prepare for this marriage. It took standing up and adding the caveat of living separately for the month before the wedding as a sacrifice and atonement for living together before we were married. And it took the assurance of a loving God that He will always and forever have my back in all things I do. I will not be afraid. 

\n

They say God will catch you and teach to you fly. I am sure there will be many flying lessons ahead, but it’s a risk I’m willing to take and a story I’m willing to tell. ❤️

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2018-10-02T01:30:31-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/10/02/im-a-risktaking-storyteller.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Choices","Starting Over","Wedding"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/09/27/not-today-devil.html", "title": "Not Today, Devil!", "content_html": "

\"Sunset\" “I think Mr. Virgo was smiling at me today!”

\n
“And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, \"This is the way, walk in it,\" when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left.”  Isaiah 30:21 ESV
\nFor those of you who have been reading this blog from the beginning, you will remember my reticence to mention God in my posts. I was very, very busy trying to make sure I didn’t offend anyone. And, of course, that is still very much my focus. But as time has passed, I have let God into my writing more and more. I always SAID I was a faith-based writer, but I really wasn’t walking the talk. That all changed one day when I got a text from God in church. That was a great story. Anyway, I’m all about Jesus anymore and I just let out what needs to come out and I don’t worry so much about it anymore.\n

Our Pastor frequently talks about what happens when you are truly a Christ follower. What happens when you make God the center of your life. He always says, “If you put God at the center of your life…are truly following him with all your heart…watch out! Because there’s nothing the enemy hates more than someone putting God before anything else. He attacks and causes all kinds of destruction and whispers lies 24/7 trying to convince you if God REALLY loved you…these bad things wouldn’t be happening. And, of course, it isn’t true. Nothing the enemy says is true.

\n

Mr. FixIt’s truck had a recall and when they started tearing it apart, they found all kinds of other things wrong. He’s going up today to have a look at it with the mechanics and make a decision. Then, after I helped Mr. FixIt with some things around The Ponderosa yesterday, I drove to the farm. By the time I got there, my wheels were squealing really loud. I had hit a pot hole on this wretched road just before, so I have no idea what’s going on.

\n

I know exactly what is happening here. I was led by God to do the right thing and moved back to the farm till after the wedding. I can feel it to my bones that it’s the right thing to do. And then…the enemy strikes! First, Mr. FixIt’s truck then mine. In the week after we put God first. It is so clear. However, I’ll tell you like my friend, DaShara says…”Not today, Devil…I am a Child of God!” 

\n

I know we’re on the right path. And the enemy can throw roadblocks up every step of the way, but we will persevere. We will not be deterred by the likes of him! He who lives within me is greater than he who lives in the world. Everything will work out with an even greater outcome than previously imagined. Amen! ❤️

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2018-09-27T01:30:57-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/09/27/not-today-devil.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","West Virginia","The Farm","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Change","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/09/22/a-change-is-gonna-come.html", "title": "A Change is Gonna Come...", "content_html": "

\"Changing “A change is coming. Can you feel it?”

\n
“Many claim to have unfailing love, but a faithful person who can find? The righteous lead blameless lives; blessed are their children after them.”  Proverbs 20:6-7 NIV
\nYesterday, I told you there were some big decisions I’ve been working on the last few months. Today, I want to talk with you about one of them. The most important one. This is a REALLY long post...but hang in there with me. You won’t be sorry.\n

Not long after Mr. FixIt and I became a serious item, God started working on me. For a long time, whenever I walk into church, I say a little prayer. I always say, “Lord, if there is a personal message you have for me today, please anoint the Pastor’s words so he can deliver it to me.” Countless times, God answers my plea and the Pastor will literally come to the front of the stage, stand right in front of me, look me straight in the eye, and say something that is unmistakably personal. Something exactly about what I’ve been working on, or worrying over. I would say it’s uncanny, but what it really is…is supernatural. Our God is a supernatural God. He listens, and He communicates…through the Holy Spirit. Through a total stranger. Through your Guardian Angel. If He has a message, and you ask Him to tell you loud and clear, He doesn’t need a megaphone. He’ll beat you over the head with it if it’s something you truly need.

\n

From the time Mr. FixIt and I got serious, I’ve been getting messages from God that we shouldn’t be living together without being married. I have to be honest…this has never bothered me before. I’m a product of the ‘60s and I never had a problem living with someone before we got married. But this time is different. It’s been wearing on me. And I think I’ve figured out why.

\n

The biggest reason is my faith has grown exponentially since Mr. Virgo died. I had to make God the center of my life in order to survive that loss. In order to not feel so alone. And God has drawn me ever so close to Him. He has guarded me and protected me. He has led me through some terribly difficult times. He has been my rock…my anchor. In the past, that has not been the case. My relationship with my husband was my focus. My relationship with God suffered and therefore I suffered. And I wasn’t even aware of it.

\n

Mr. FixIt and I keep God at the center of our relationship. Or…so I would love for everyone to believe. See, here’s the thing. You’re either all in with God. Or, you’re not. That’s why I’ve been feeling off about cohabitation. Now, there is the issue of widow’s benefits. I had been told when I first went to Social Security after Mr. Virgo died, that if I remarried I would lose my widow’s benefits. I’ve kept that information in my mind all this time without questioning. Until last weekend.

\n

Mr. FixIt and I have spent a great deal of time apart in the last month between being sick and in the hospital, camping with the Girl Campers, and going to Country Living Fair. The reason I took my camper up with me and camped alone instead of bunking with my gal pals was…I needed some alone time with God. These wonderful women I was with are two of my strongest Christian friends. They mentor me. They are sounding boards for me when I have questions. They are my fellow prayer warriors when I need them. I confessed how I was feeling and they talked with me about it.

\n

While camping alone, I prayed deeply. I told God my worries. I told him I totally trust in Him and that I know without question that He will provide for me. But I’ve been so worried about losing my widow’s benefits because my own Social Security is paltry. I was a stay-at-home mom, so I didn’t make a lot of money in my lifetime. Mr. Virgo, however, worked in 5-Star resorts and restaurants all his career. He died before touching his Social Security. My benefits through him are far more than my own. Not enough to live in the lap of luxury, mind you. But enough to live on if I were extremely frugal. I asked God to give me a sign that I wouldn’t lose my benefits if I remarried.

\n

Then, I listened. “Google. What happens to widow’s benefits if you remarry?” Simple enough, right? I mean, why didn’t I think to Google that a long time ago? Because….it wasn’t the right time. Mr. FixIt asked me to marry him just a month after we started dating. It was too soon. We needed to get to know each other more. We needed to grow together in our faith. And, I needed more time to work through my grief. This was God’s perfect timing. I Googled the question and page after page of answers came back. “If you remarry after the age of 60, you will NOT lose your widow’s benefits.” Wow! The reason it stuck in my head so long ago was, I was only 59 when Mr. Virgo died. They told me if I remarried, I would lose my benefits. But that was THEN. Grief brain didn’t allow the rest of it to soak in. 

\n

I sat back…stunned by this revelation. I looked up and said, “Thank you, God. That’s all I needed to know!” Then I texted Mr. FixIt.

\n

“I miss you. Let’s get married.”

\n

Without missing a beat, he wrote back. “OK! We’ll set a date when you get home! What prompted this?”

\n

“God.” I said.

\n

So, we set a date! Yes, my lovely Ranchers…we’re getting MARRIED!!!

\n

Ohhhhh….Emmmmmm…..Geeeeeeeee!!!

\n

I’m all in. I can’t, in good conscience, profess my faith AND live in a way that I feel, for me, is counter to that. So I’m following my conscience and God’s clear instructions to marry this very wonderful man that He sent me. We chose October 13th as our wedding day. When I was looking through the calendar, the 13th jumped out at me. I seemed to remember it being a family anniversary. I looked up on my family tree and indeed…it was my Grandma and PopPop’s anniversary! Those two in whose bedroom I am currently propped up, writing to you! PopPop died on my mom’s birthday…August 26th. Just seven weeks before their 50th Wedding Anniversary. I know how terribly sad I was when Mr. Virgo died just three weeks shy of our 6th anniversary. I can’t imagine what my grandma went through losing her forever sweetheart so close to such a monumental event. I am thrilled we can celebrate our wedding on their special day!

\n

So, there it is, my friends. A change is gonna come. Will I still be a widow? Yes, I will always and forever be a widow. AND, I will be a wife again. Never in my wildest dreams would I have anticipated something so precious happening again. I know Mr. Virgo had a hand in this. He and God stopped at the 9th or 10th hole one day when they were playing a round of golf. 

\n

“Hey, look down there at that beautiful woman. Do you think we can send her someone to love who will love her back with the white-hot heat of the sun?”

\n

And God said…”Ha! Watch this!” ❤️

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2018-09-22T01:30:36-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/09/22/a-change-is-gonna-come.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/09/08/fun-at-girl-camp.html", "title": "Fun at Girl Camp", "content_html": "

\"Baby “Dehydrated baby copperhead…you always learn something new at Girl Camp!”

\n
“Instruct the wise and they will be wiser still; teach the righteous and they will add to their learning.  Proverbs 9:9 NIV
\nEdit: A kind reader shared a post from another page warning this is the time of year when baby copperheads are born. They arrive with venom and are ready to defend themselves. Even though they are small, they can pack a wallop so be extra careful rummaging around in damp flower pots and under bushes. Watch out for your pets and teach children to move outside toys with a stick first...these little guys can be hiding anywhere!\n

I tell you what…coming to camp with these girls is as close to summer camp as you can get at the sweet age of 65! Yesterday was so chill…I slept in again, had a leisurely breakfast, stretched out in the afternoon, then joined the girls for appetizer night. Mike, the Park Naturalist, came over at five and gave a talk on providing habitat for photographing birds in the winter time from inside your home. Then there was archery. After supper, we went through his two big boxes of bones and pelts and played guess the animal. This little mite in my hand is a dehydrated baby copperhead! He was very fragile and was found this way in the woods.

\n

There are gals here from as far away as Chicago and Michigan. And, Mr. FixIt was feeling much better yesterday so he came up and joined us last night just after dark! So, my world is complete. 

\n

Today is a Civil War Enactment in the Village here at Beaver Creek State Park and we are all looking forward to going down and checking it out. However, we are also predicted to get a lot of rain in the next couple of days from the tail end of a tropical storm so I’m not sure how much we will get to do. There is nothing wrong with sitting in the shelter and visiting with the girls when it’s raining. Or taking a nap with the rain on the tin roof of the “Dorothy Jean”. Whatever you choose to do (or NOT do), Girl Camping is a real treat! And you always learn something! ❤️

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2018-09-08T01:30:13-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/09/08/fun-at-girl-camp.html", "tags": ["Travel","Strong Women","Camping","Fun","Growth","Gratitude","goRVing","Peace","Girl Camper","Girl Campers"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/09/07/camping-with-the-girls.html", "title": "Camping with the Girls", "content_html": "

\"1967 “A 1967 Avion is my home away from home this week!”

\n
“Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.””  1 Corinthians 15:33 NIV
\nOne of my favorite things about camping with other women, besides laughing till you’re silly, is touring the wonderful vintage campers that the gals bring along. This is an 1967 Avion that belongs to my dear friend Gail Bable. Gail is the camp host at Beaver Creek State Park in East Liverpool, Ohio. Every year, she hosts the Girl Camper in the Spring and Fall at “What a Hoot!” So named for the many owls that call the park home. \n

\"The “The Dorothy Jean - a 1967 Avion, only belonged to my friend Gail’s aunt.”

\n

The Dorothy Jean once belonged to Gail’s aunt. An Avion looks much like an Airstream camper…it’s just not shiny. The surface is anodized and doesn’t take nearly as much work to maintain as the more expensive Airstreams do. The inside is just about the same, however. I do have to admit, for a long time, I really didn’t like this style of camper. I saw it as a long, metal tube that would be hot, cramped and stuffy inside. After staying in this one, and visiting several others, I can honestly say this style has a lot of distinct advantages. The roof is entirely different than most travel trailers and they don’t leak like the ones with so many seams. The air conditioner works just as well as any other camper. And there are lots of windows for light. This particular model has twin beds in the back by the bathroom. There’s plenty of storage, a full sized refrigerator in the kitchen, and a fold out bed up in the living room. I think I would be happy to have something like this…only smaller.

\n

\"Visiting “The Girl Campers sitting around the table, visiting…making new friends and catching up with long time gal pals.”

\n

Our friend Michele showed up Wednesday night with her vintage 1967 Pennant she just finished fixing up. OMGosh! It has to be one of my favorite vintage campers EVER. Why? Because she mixes in sweet family treasures in her decor. A girl after my own heart. There is a story about everything…from her dad’s ties used as a curtain, to her saddle shoes from high school, to her and her sister’s Easter bonnets…and the love just shines through! I love a camper that you can scan your eyes over and find something new every time. There is a lot of work that goes into staging a camper like this, but when you can pull it off as much as Michele does, the results are well worth the work!

\n

\"1967 “A 1967 Pennant has the unusual configuration of the gaucho bad in the back.”

\n

\"Camper “Michele decorated her camper with treasures from her childhood.”

\n

\"Vintage “Vintage camper decor in a 1967 Pennant.”

\n

\"Memorabilia “Mixing treasures and iconic memorabilia makes for visual interest in this vintage camper.”

\n

\"Chenille “I love chenille bedspreads in vintage campers. They take me back to my childhood.”

\n

\"Queen\" “The Queen is in!”

\n

\"Queen “You may ignore the Queen. But, she’s still the QUEEN!”

\n

Janine (of Girl Camper Podcast fame) and I went junking yesterday and found some really GREAT treasures for staging next week at the Country Living Fair in Columbus, Ohio. If you’re visiting the area…do come look us up. We’re going to have a couple surprising variations on the usual array of vintage campers on display this year. This is one of my favorite two weeks of camping with the girls every year! Always someone new to meet and always someone fun to catch up with from the past. ❤️

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2018-09-07T01:30:13-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/09/07/camping-with-the-girls.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Strong Women","Camping","Fun","Growth","goRVing","Peace","Girl Camper","Girl Campers"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/09/05/road-trip-fall.html", "title": "Road Trip #1 - Fall 2018", "content_html": "

\"Fall “The leaves are beginning to change and you know what that means? Fall Girl Camping!!!”

\n
“That evening quail came and covered the camp, and in the morning there was a layer of dew around the camp. When the dew was gone, thin flakes like frost on the ground appeared on the desert floor. When the Israelites saw it, they said to each other, “What is it?” For they did not know what it was. Moses said to them, “It is the bread the Lord has given you to eat. This is what the Lord has commanded: ‘Everyone is to gather as much as they need. Take an omer for each person you have in your tent.’ ””  Exodus 16:13-16 NIV
\nI’ve been doing everything I can to be well enough to join the Girl Campers for their fall outing. I was pretty worried last week and over the weekend as to whether I would get to go or not. With the help of my doctor and my Girl Camper friends, I am all set to go on a road trip today. Now, before you go all “mom” on me, let me tell you my plans.\n

First, I’m not pulling a camper this time. My dear friend and fellow Girl Camper Extraordinaire has kindly offered her vintage Avion for my use for the next week. For those of you unfamiliar with the Avion…it looks very much like an Airstream, but not shiny. I am so excited to get the opportunity to stay in a vintage camper! And this cuts out all worries of having a mechanical breakdown on the way to or from the event.

\n

Second, I went to my doctor’s office yesterday and got a good looking over. I’m not wheezing anymore. I’m stable on the meds they gave me and everything is under control. She gave me a prescription for a nebulizer since I cannot find mine so I can give myself a breathing treatment if I need to. I promised I would not do the extra activities and I’m taking my knitting and crafts and magazines and a couple of books. I’ll take my writing and my art supplies. Just sitting and relaxing…and no campfires near me!

\n

Third, some girlfriend time is exactly what I need! Mr. FixIt is slowly on the mend. His virus hit him as body aches. No head or chest congestion. He’s hoping by Friday he will feel up to driving up and joining us for the weekend as this is a Mister-Sister trip. He loves to sit around the campfire over the weekend with the girls and they love having him. I’ll be up at camp till Tuesday morning. And I promise…I’ll be careful and there are a lot of people watching out for me so I wont get in trouble! I can’t wait to share stories from around the propane “campfire” and I love taking you all along with me! 

\n

❤️?❤️?❤️

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2018-09-05T01:30:43-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/09/05/road-trip-fall.html", "tags": ["Strong Women","Positive Energy","Camping","Fun","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","goRVing","Peaceful Moments","Girl Camper","Girl Campers","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/09/02/days.html", "title": "2,000 Days", "content_html": "

\"Meme\" “2,000 Days”

\n
“(For we are but of yesterday, and know nothing, because our days upon earth are a shadow:)  Job 8:9 KJV
\nFor a long time after losing Mr. Virgo, I marked the timeline of my grief by significant dates. The first anniversary without him came just three weeks after he died. That was a tough one. First Halloween marked when we met. The first time I celebrated his birthday alone was terribly sad. First Thanksgiving, first Christmas...the list went on and on and I was convinced when the first “angelversary” of his death came around, I could turn a corner on this grief thing. Needless to say, that didn’t happen.\n

The seconds were worse for me than the firsts. Because, the first year I was in a fog. The second year I was awake and he was still gone. It was deeply painful. It was desperately lonely. I was exceedingly angry. Each day led me forward, ever so slowly, toward…what? Healing? Peace? Acceptance? It wasn’t easy. Somewhere along the line, 1,000 days passed and I wrote about my experiences along the way. Still marking the calendar of grief.

\n

Now it’s been 2,000 days. Unbelievable. It seems like forever ago. It seems like yesterday. It sometimes even seems like he was a dream and I never really had him. I think that’s fairly normal, from what I have heard from you all over the years. I can’t remember his voice anymore. I struggle to picture his hands. He’s like a really good movie that I loved and watched over and over till I memorized all the words…then lost the disk. I’ll never see that particular movie again, but I remember how much I enjoyed it.

\n

I still get waves of grief. They don’t hit nearly as hard as they used to, and they don’t last nearly as long, thank God. I notice them most when I am tired or not feeling well. I’ve learned so much about myself since he died. I’ve become much stronger. My world is brighter now that I’ve passed through all those days. I have new love. But I will never lose my old love. I have them both. I am a widow and a partner. I grieve and I rejoice. 

\n

I have greater compassion now. For others. For myself. I know not everyone has a new love. Not everyone wants it. Women are perfectly capable of being widowed and still lead a fulfilling life. One does not need a partner to be rich in love. Women can be remarkably resilient and strong all on their own. 

\n

So, it’s been 2,000 days. Remarkable…yet another ordinary day. The seas are much calmer this far from the shore. ❤️

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2018-09-02T01:30:41-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/09/02/days.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Presence","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/09/01/what-do-you-do-with.html", "title": "What Do You Do With HIS Stuff?", "content_html": "

\"Gentleman “Mr. Virgo dressed for the Ritz Carlton.”

\n
“The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”  Psalm 34:17-18 NIV
\nWe had a good discussion here yesterday about downsizing...a topic near and dear to my heart and one not everyone is interested in. I get that. We like our stuff...it brings back memories, it is proof of what we worked for. But, what do we do with HIS stuff? If you’ve watch any rom/com, you’ll see women throwing the guys stuff out the upstairs window and burning it on the lawn if infidelity or divorce are involved. While I don’t necessarily recommend that, I can see how it would be cathartic. Usually the man takes care of his own stuff in a breakup. That can’t happen when death is involved.\n

When I was newly widowed, I walked in a daze for weeks. I couldn’t imagine going through Mr. Virgo’s stuff and getting rid of anything. I would often stand in his closet, wrap myself in his clothes that smelled of leather and tobacco and Halston and woods. I grieved to my very core, holding onto the last things he touched. I did this for a few weeks. Then I took off in my little camper for three months. 

\n

When I returned, I had screamed and cried out a lot of my initial grief up on the mountaintops. I realized standing in the closet wrapped in his clothes wasn’t healthy for me. My daughter was a teacher at a poor, inner-city school that had a program for young men. They provided a suit and interview training so they would have a better chance at landing good jobs. When I heard about this, something inside me smiled. I knew Mr. Virgo would love to have his suits used for such a purpose. This gave me the impetus to go through his closet. I saved a couple of sweaters, my favorite ties, and his leather bomber jacket. The rest I bagged up. 

\n

When I woke up the next day, I reached for my phone and saw message after message on my feed…Happy Father’s Day! I sat up and looked around. All of his clothes were in bags on the floor surrounding the bed. And I had no one to hug for Father’s Day. I always had a bag packed to impromptu camping trips so I went out and hooked up TOW-Wanda and headed for the hills for a few days.

\n

When I got home, I carried the bags out to the car and carted them around for a couple of weeks just to make sure I was really ready to let go. Once I was convinced, I delivered them to my daughter. I would have loved to have heard the stories of successful job interviews!

\n

Once the closet was cleaned out, it wasn’t a big stretch to go through his dresser and get rid of his underwear and socks. I never felt like I was invading his privacy until I got to the top drawer of the highboy and his briefcase. That bothered me. I felt like I was snooping. I knew I had to go through them because there were papers in there that I might need. I did find some things I wasn’t expecting. There were a couple of charge accounts I didn’t know about. And there was an envelope with his and another woman’s name on it addressed to the house he lived in before he moved to Aspen. At first, I was upset by this. I thought I knew everything about him. Then I realized that he didn’t know everything about me either. We were in our mid-50’s when we met. A lot of water had gone under the bridge before we ever set eyes on each other. The new information didn’t change a thing about our relationship. It was still wonderful. So, I let it go.

\n

My way of cleaning out his closet may not be your way. And that is perfectly fine. We all walk down this path in our own way, in our own time. If it’s ten weeks or ten months or ten years, you do what you need to do. I will lay this down here though, and you can pick it up or not. There is a wonderful organization called Career Gear. You can donate suits and business casual clothes to them and they provide training, professional clothing, and mentorship to men in need so they can get good jobs and provide for their families. I saw a story about them, I believe on Sunday Morning. This would be a good place to donate your husband’s clothing. Or, you may find something similar in your area. It’s just a thought.

\n

careergear.org/get-invol…

\n

Another alternative is creating a memory quilt or pillow from items of his clothing. My friend Steve did this. He had memory quilts made for his three kids and teddy bears for his nine grandchildren…all from his late wife’s clothes. It was a wonderful way to memorialize Nana for her family. I don’t know anything about this particular site, but it’s an example.

\n

https://www.toocooltshirtquilts.com/blog/dealing-with-the-clothing-of-a-passed-loved-one

\n

I hope you find your way through this difficult step with peace…no matter when you decide to do it. Just remember to do it your way. Don’t let anyone tell you how or when. ❤️

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2018-09-01T01:30:48-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/09/01/what-do-you-do-with.html", "tags": ["Family","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Growth","Wisdom","Courage","Downsizing","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/08/28/flora-or-fauna.html", "title": "Flora or Fauna?", "content_html": "

\"“Music “Music Pink and Blue” by Georgia O’Keeffe

\n
““Look at the lilies and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing, yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. And if God cares so wonderfully for flowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?”  Luke 12:27-28 NLT
\nIt has been over a century since Georgia O’Keeffe first showed her art in New York. Her floral studies look as though you are viewing a delicate flower under a microscope. The languid curves and soft focus give an ethereal beauty to mother nature’s treasures.\n

In 1918, society was absolutely dominated by conservative men. There were few female artists…and none like Ms. O’Keeffe. Her art was interpreted as portraying the female genitalia. She spent the next six decades denying this vehemently. They were merely studies of flowers. However, I can certainly understand why there was this…misunderstanding.

\n

Georgia O’Keeffe lived in the desert southwest and her art is well known and abundant in the western states. I will never forget the first time I saw one of her paintings and thought it was rather…bawdy. It wasn’t till years later I learned to see what she saw. This particular painting is called “Music Pink and Blue”. I don’t know. It just doesn’t look like music to me. It looks like anatomy.

\n

Speaking of which, the doctor’s visits continue. I’ve been catching up with my routine healthcare ever since I started on Medicare the first of June. Before that, my insurance cost me nearly $800 a month with a deductible over $7,300! I used it specifically for my medications and for strict emergencies. I put off anything I could for three years till Medicare kicked in. So now I’m playing catchup.

\n

The older you get, the more things can be wrong with you, it seems. And one test leads to a panel of blood tests which leads to a CT scan and on to a colonoscopy and upper endoscopy. The mammogram went from films, to special compression views, to needle biopsy, and finally to surgical removal of a lump with a biopsy. Lower abdominal pain progressed to a pap and on to a visit with a GYN (hence the Georgia O’Keeffe reference) and colposcopy with biopsies. H.O.L.Y. C.A.T.S. That wasn’t pleasant. Yes…this is probably TMI. However…I tell you these things to illustrate why you should stay current with your routine healthcare and not put it off. Three times, I’ve had things removed that were precancerous. Had I waited longer, it could have crossed over to cancer. Once, I actually had a melanoma but it was in situ which means “contained”. It had not spread beyond it’s own boundaries, thank God.

\n

When we are widowed, or when we are raising children, or…who am I kidding? Women don’t always take care of themselves at any age because they are busy taking care of everyone else. If you have been putting off getting something checked or you’ve looked it up on WebMD and convinced yourself it is nothing, I’m here today to encourage you to get a complete physical. I know it’s a pain in the butt. I know it can turn out to be expensive. It’s important. YOU are important! And…while you are on interminable hold with the doctor’s office to make that appointment, enjoy this painting of…..a flower. ❤️

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2018-08-28T01:30:34-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/08/28/flora-or-fauna.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/08/16/firsts-dont-always-come-once.html", "title": "Firsts Don’t Always Come Once", "content_html": "

\"Window\" “Firsts don’t only come once.”

\n
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”  Psalm 147:3 NIV
\nThe other day, I was reading a tweet from a gal that I follow. She was commenting about a deep feeling of grief she felt she had long ago left behind her. She is a widow and her youngest was off to college. Another “first”. They don’t always come in the first year. There are graduations, and weddings, and grandchildren, and vacations, and retirement...all things you thought you were going to get to do with your person.\n

When you are newly bereaved, the initial shock numbs you. You walk in a haze as you go through the motions of planning a funeral, greeting the attendees, and writing all those Thank You notes. Somewhere before too long, you start peeling back all these layers and grief continually bubbles up as you realize all the things you have lost along with your loved one. You have a sense of this loss up front. But you don’t realize how it will affect you when you get to those milestones. They can knock you down just as hard as some of the earlier waves of grief.

\n

I watch Mr. Virgo’s grandchildren growing up on Facebook. I don’t have a relationship with his daughter, but she is kind enough to keep me connected so I can see the children. The little one is the spitting image of her grandpa. It twists my heart when I see her. When I realize he didn’t get to know them and they won’t get to know him, it makes me sad. Firsts…first grade…first dance recital…all the big “little” things grandparents are supposed to share with their grand babies. Daughter #2 will be planning a wedding soon. She and Mr. Virgo were very close. That will stir the waves.

\n

There will always be these moments. This is the price you pay for love. If there is an upside, it is that the waves aren’t as big and they don’t last as long now. I have learned how to tap-dance around that hole in my heart without falling in…most of the time. My new relationship with Mr. FixIt is wonderful, but he doesn’t replace Mr. Virgo. You can’t replace someone you truly loved. Grief remains as a scar on your heart…and your life grows around it. ❤️

\n

 

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2018-08-16T01:30:12-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/08/16/firsts-dont-always-come-once.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Growth","Wisdom","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/05/27/on-the-other-side-of.html", "title": "On the Other Side of Midlife", "content_html": "

\"\" “Spending the weekend at home by the pool. Then visited more family at a local cemetery.”

\n

A friend sent me a link yesterday to an article written by Brené Brown. She discusses the truth of what is commonly referred to as a midlife crisis. Her preferred terminology is “midlife unraveling”…a term I can totally relate to. Her premise is, while there are many tactics one can take when facing the existential questions like “Is this all there is?”, her approach was a head-on collision with the universe. And, as is always the case, the universe won and brought her to her knees.

\n

I distinctly remember the moment I first had an inkling something was amiss. I went through a divorce young and I did really well raising my older daughter. I put my second husband through medical school, residency, and setting up a practice. I worked hard, stayed engaged, and did my Earth Mother thing. I created unique job positions for myself, I wrote a children’s book, I co-authored a book for the National Institutes of Health, I invented a piece of x-ray equipment to x-ray disabled patients while seated in a wheelchair, I illustrated an exercise book. I kept my daughter busy with scouts and bikes and the like so her step-father could have a quiet house to study in. I was busy. Then, several things happened that brought my world to a dizzying tailspin.

\n

When my husband started his practice, I stopped working outside of the home. Hindsight being 20/20, that probably wasn’t the best choice for me. While I continued to stay busy being a full time mom, my daughter was in junior high and she really didn’t need me during the days. I filled my time volunteering for the hospital auxiliary. I took hospice training. I lunged horses and mucked stalls in exchange for riding lessons for my daughter and me. I was a DJ for the local public radio station. I baked competitively and grew a huge garden. I entered the county fairs. And I was becoming lost..first to myself, then to my family.

\n

I clearly hung my identity on a hook by the front door and became Mrs. Dr. So-and-So. I felt insecure. My husband was surrounded by intelligent women all day, every day. I was easily threatened by the medical staff he worked with so closely. In an attempt to refocus my life, and fulfill our desire to expand our family before it got too late, we decided to have another child, which was a distinct blessing, don’t get me wrong. The problem was, with every passing day, I was losing more of myself. And now, the physical toll of having a baby later in life threw me into a vicious cycle of yo-yo dieting and exhaustion.

\n

I was distinctly unhealthy…mentally and physically. And finally, like Brené, I dared the universe to make me face the changes that were coming and she was far more up for the challenge than I was. I unraveled…hard and fast. It took a lot of hard work and therapy for me to put myself back together again. But eventually I found myself. I began to love who I was. Brené says, loving yourself is the most challenging thing you will ever have to do. And once you start that task, you continue to work it till the day you die. I beg to differ with her. Losing Mr. Virgo was decidedly the most challenging thing I have ever faced in my life.

\n

As my grief has eased, I find myself sometimes disengaging from the conversation. “Grief talk” isn’t always at the forefront of my mind. Megan Devine from refugeingrief.com has a “Do This, Don’t Do That” chart that helps people support others who are grieving. I was appalled when I found I do far too many of the Don’t Do Thats…even here on my blog. I know for a fact I have hurt people’s feelings when I haven’t stayed present and remembered there are grievers out there I am writing for. If I ever have hurt you, I am profoundly sorry.

\n

My mission here has evolved. It started out as a way to navigate my grief, and help others know they aren’t alone. It morphed into travel, faith, crafts, life lessons, and new love. Sometimes it reads like a sermon. Sometimes a novel. Sometimes it’s not much different than reading any other typical Facebook post from one of your friends, and that might get boring. But sometimes, hopefully often, I bring a message you need to hear. Something that helps you and makes you think. Something that cheers you and gives you hope. Something that helps you see my vulnerability and how we really aren’t very different. Something that stirs your heart. Something that brings you closer to God’s Word.

\n

I am truly grateful to be on the far side of that existential midlife unraveling. I’m happy to have survived fairly intact. I am also grateful that, after five years on this grief journey, my heart has healed a great deal. I am forever changed by both of these monumental life events. I love myself a lot more…partially due to aging, partially due to the increased compassion grief brings. We are all works in progress, clear to our dying day. I’m glad I don’t try to push “feeling things” onto the back burner anymore. I face things head on, because God has my back. He is with me every step of the way. I still pray every time I write and ask Him to bring the right words and the people who need to hear them. ❤

\n

“Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind. Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, now that you have tasted that the Lord is good. As you come to him, the living Stone—rejected by humans but chosen by God and precious to him— you also, like living stones, are being built into a spiritual house to be a holy priesthood, offering spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.”\n‭‭1 Peter‬ ‭2:1-5‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n", "date_published": "2018-05-27T01:30:41-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/05/27/on-the-other-side-of.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","West Virginia","Growth","Presence","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/05/24/home-again.html", "title": "Home Again", "content_html": "

\"Beaver “Beaver Creek State Park, East Liverpool, Ohio”

\n

I’ve always promised my family and friends that I wouldn’t reveal where I am while I am actually there, especially if I am traveling alone. Even though Mr. FixIt joined me for part of this trip, I still adhere to that basic rule of safety. Beaver Creek State Park is one of my all time favorite camping destinations. Part of that is the surroundings. Part is the relatively close proximity to my home. I love the drive up Ohio Route 7 as it meanders along the beautiful Ohio River. And…if you’re on the Ohio side, you are looking at the rolling hills and dense woodlands of West Virginia beyond the smooth water.

\n

The best part of a Girl Camping trip is, of course, the friends you know and meet when you get there. These are friends for life and there’s a lot of love and laughter and encouragement that grows from those interactions. As I drove home yesterday, my heart was full.

\n

Mavis, my GPS, tells me it takes two hours and fifty-seven minutes to drive to Beaver Creek State Park. I left there at 11:00 and got home at 5:00. Granted, there was one rest area stop. But there were several places where the road was down to one lane due to land slides and we had to take turns. Then there was my LEAST favorite part of camping…dumping the black and grey water tanks. There is a really good dump station at the West Virginia Welcome Center in Williamstown that I always stop at. It takes me a good forty-five minutes to clean my tanks, but it’s necessary to do a good job.

\n

I had a few things going on with the camper this trip. One is, a leak has developed. Mr. FixIt got the ladder out for me and I think I found where the problem is. A seal on the top front edge of the camper is aging and cracked. The seals are only good for a few years and they need to be replaced so I guess it’s that time. When I was pumping up my tires before I left yesterday morning, I noticed the outside edge of one of them is shredding slightly. I need to check into that. Also, when I got home, I placed my hand on each hub and one was too hot to comfortably rest my hand on it. I need to tear into that and probably repack the bearings. There is a kind of hub you can get that has a valve on it and you can top off the grease before you travel just to make sure it is well lubricated. The downside of trailer ownership…constant maintenance.

\n

So, I’m home. The baby birds in the cypress tree out front are feathering out and they had their little beaks aimed high waiting for mama. The rabbits have eaten all but four bean plants in the garden, but the tomatoes are looking great. My pink dogwood is thriving. The irises and peonies are in full bloom. There is standing water around the yard from all the heavy rains in the last week. And, as I write this, I can hear the whip-poor-will in the hedgerow along the creek on the far side of the field. I’m sore all over from lugging and toting and hooking up and driving the camper so I’m calling it a night. When you read this, we’ll be mowing out at the farm and doing laundry. What a wonderful trip it has been. ❤️

\n

“May the favor of the Lord our God rest on us; establish the work of our hands for us— yes, establish the work of our hands.”\n‭‭Psalm‬ ‭90:17‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2018-05-24T01:30:52-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/05/24/home-again.html", "tags": ["Travel","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","The Grand Adventure","Fun","West Virginia","The Farm","Gratitude","goRVing","Girl Camper","Girl Campers"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/05/21/campfire-and-conversation.html", "title": "Campfire and Conversation", "content_html": "

\"Woodpecker “A pileated woodpecker has decimated this tall pine tree at the edge of the campground.”

\n

This trip has been such a blessing to me. Laughter is the best medicine and there has been so much joy shared between us as we sit and work with our hands. We have shared stories and learned more about each other. We have loved on our furry friends, including a little stray black cat who showed up Friday night. We think someone must have dumped him along the road because he is so friendly. He’s the camp cat for now and will more than likely go home with the camphost as her husband has taken a shine to him.

\n

\"Alpaca “The hat I knitted from the yarn Gail spun from Alpaca and wool.”

\n

I’ve become very close friends with our camphost, Gail. She is a woman of strong faith. She reminds me of the woman in Proverbs 31. She’s the kind of woman you want to learn from and emulate. She is kind, courageous, fair, fun, and family oriented. And talented? OMGosh! She can do anything. I just love her to the moon and back. Her husband took Mr. FixIt fishing last night and he had a blast. They only caught one fish between them, but they had good fellowship and got to know each other better.

\n

\"Girl “Mr. FixIt enjoys his morning coffee in one of the Girl Camper mugs.”

\n

This is one of the things I love about Mr. FixIt. He has friends outside of our relationship. I loved Mr. Virgo…you know that. And, he had no real friendships other than me. He had friends he worked with, but he never did anything without me. I was telling the girls around the campfire the other night…I never would have been a Girl Camper or a Sister on the Fly if Mr. Virgo were still living. It’s just not something I would have done…even though it was something I would have enjoyed. This is the difference in the woman I have become since losing him. I am far more independent. And, I am more assertive…something Mr. FixIt deeply appreciates in me.

\n

\"Three “Campfire and Corgis”

\n

Loss changed me. It was terribly difficult. It tore me apart and dropped me in pieces on the ground. When it came time to rebuild, I put myself back together in a way that suited this new life…this new me. I love this me that I am today. While I hate what happened to get me here, I am grateful for this new life and all the new people that have been brought into it.

\n

Yes, this trip is just what the doctor ordered. Food, fun, and frolic…Girl Camper style! ❤️

\n

“A good woman is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds. Her husband trusts her without reserve, and never has reason to regret it. Never spiteful, she treats him generously all her life long. She shops around for the best yarns and cottons, and enjoys knitting and sewing. She’s like a trading ship that sails to faraway places and brings back exotic surprises. She’s up before dawn, preparing breakfast for her family and organizing her day. She looks over a field and buys it, then, with money she’s put aside, plants a garden. First thing in the morning, she dresses for work, rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started. She senses the worth of her work, is in no hurry to call it quits for the day. She’s skilled in the crafts of home and hearth, diligent in homemaking. She’s quick to assist anyone in need, reaches out to help the poor. She doesn’t worry about her family when it snows; their winter clothes are all mended and ready to wear. She makes her own clothing, and dresses in colorful linens and silks. Her husband is greatly respected when he deliberates with the city fathers. She designs gowns and sells them, brings the sweaters she knits to the dress shops. Her clothes are well-made and elegant, and she always faces tomorrow with a smile. When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say, and she always says it kindly. She keeps an eye on everyone in her household, and keeps them all busy and productive. Her children respect and bless her; her husband joins in with words of praise: “Many women have done wonderful things, but you’ve outclassed them all!” Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades. The woman to be admired and praised is the woman who lives in the Fear-of- GOD. Give her everything she deserves! Festoon her life with praises!”\n‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭31:10-31‬ ‭MSG‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2018-05-21T01:30:18-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/05/21/campfire-and-conversation.html", "tags": ["Travel","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Strong Women","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","Fun","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Peace","Wisdom","Presence","Girl Camper","Girl Campers"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/05/17/campfirenatures-therapist.html", "title": "Campfire...Nature’s Therapist", "content_html": "

\"Campfire “A campfire is cheaper than therapy.”

\n

There is something incredibly special about girl camping…be it with an organization like Girl Campers or Sisters on the Fly, or just a group of like-minded gal pals who like to get out in the great outdoors. Sometimes conversations go deep. Sometimes you open up about things you never dreamed you’d talk about. You meet strangers and they become Sisters. You laugh. You cry. You learn. There is always common ground with someone.

\n

Camping can be as simple as a pup tent or a minivan or as complex as a big travel trailer or motor home. Meals can be simple throw together salads to an elaborate spread of grand proportions. It can be a fee free gathering of two or three to an epic multi day extravaganza with a hundred or more gathered for “Cowgirl College”. The bottom line is always the same…get away from everyday life and become a girl again.

\n

I never camped with my family when I was growing up. The closest was a week in a cabin along the North Fork of the South Branch of the Potomac River in the mountains of West Virginia. I went to church camp in 7th grade. And I camped a handful of times as an adult. But I never learned the joys of girl camping till after Mr. Virgo died. Girl camping saved me. They taught be that he died…I did not. They set examples of how to be self reliant. They taught me new skills. They taught me that, even in my grief, it was ok to laugh.

\n

Miss Maizie, the original Sister on the Fly, was still camping in her nineties…a martini in one hand and a cigar in the other. And, while I don’t drink or smoke, I can surely identify with that independent, carefree spirit.

\n

I know camping is not for everyone…I certainly don’t rough it. I camp like a girl and sleep on 800 count sheets on a memory foam mattress. I have a bathroom and a shower and a full kitchen. I have a house on wheels. Some would not even call that camping. For me, if there’s the sound of nature at night, if there’s a campfire, and I can sit beneath the stars and laugh with good friends…that’s camping for me. If you’ve never had the opportunity to do this I hope you try it at some point in your life. My heart is happy in my camper. ❤

\n

“The wise prevail through great power, and those who have knowledge muster their strength.”\n‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭24:5‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n", "date_published": "2018-05-17T01:30:14-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/05/17/campfirenatures-therapist.html", "tags": ["Travel","Uplifting Stories","Strong Women","Sisters on the Fly","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","Fun","goRVing","Peace","Wisdom","Girl Camper","Girl Campers"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/05/16/im-walkin-on-sunshine.html", "title": "I’m Walkin’ on Sunshine", "content_html": "

\"Coffee “Sitting in the morning sun, coffee in hand, Country Living Magazine…birds and roosters entertaining me. It’s a beautiful life!”

\n

One of summer’s delights in the east…a warm morning spent outside reading and sipping my morning coffee. We’ve hit the summer thunderboomer circuit early this year here in West Virginia. The skies are brilliantly clear in the morning. The humidity is high from the rain the afternoon before. The temperature soars by noon and the thunderclouds begin to build till they boil over. Thunder, lightning, hail, high winds all can play havoc with your plans.

\n

Mowing seems to be the big thing around here in the summer. I have to say, I did not miss lawn care and home maintenance in the years I traveled and lived in TOW-Wanda. It was a welcome break. But now that I have the chance to dive into the great outdoors and get dirty and sweaty, I have to admit, it beats going to a gym any day of the week.

\n

I mowed with the self-propelled push mower at the farm yesterday. What a workout! The yard is well over an acre, the temperature in the high eighties, the humidity sticky and thick. With my propensity towards heat exhaustion, I only mowed 15-20 minutes at a time, then took a break to rehydrate and lay in front of the fan. At that rate, it took me five hours to complete. It’s so beautiful when it’s finished. I took a few moments to just wander around and enjoy the surroundings. The rhododendron is just about to burst into bloom, as are the irises and peonies. The farm cats lazed around beneath the Rose of Sharon and the huge hydrangea bush along the creek. While the flowering quince is fading, the spice bush is in full bloom. I love this time of year.

\n

We are getting things geared up here at the Ponderosa to prepare for a summer of entertaining. Mr. FixIt has been working in the pool to get it open. We still need to pressure wash the deck but will wait for a dry spell. I’m heading out today for another road trip. This time I’ll be camping with the Girl Campers at a State Park in Ohio for a week. It’s a Mister Sister event so my mister will be joining me this weekend. I love camping with the girls! This year, our hostess…my dear friend Gail…is going to teach me to spin wool for sock yarn. I’ll have time to sit and knit on my socks and finally read my friend Michelle Cummins’ new book, The Reel Sisters. Peace and quiet in the beautiful woods surrounding one of my favorite campgrounds.

\n

As I sit here on the deck in the warm sunshine, a nice breeze blowing, listening to the rooster down the road, reading Country Living Magazine…my heart is overflowing with the blessings of my life. I’m such a far cry from the early days of my grief. The contrast is startling. The heart can mend itself…scarred, certainly. But infinitely full of hope. ❤️

\n

“So I rejoice, and I am glad. Even my body has hope.”\n‭‭Psalms‬ ‭16:9‬ ‭INternational Children’s Bible

\n", "date_published": "2018-05-16T06:39:50-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/05/16/im-walkin-on-sunshine.html", "tags": ["Faith","Travel","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","West Virginia","The Farm","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Peace","Wisdom","Humbled","Presence","Girl Camper","Girl Campers","Choices","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/05/13/still-praying-together.html", "title": "Still Praying Together", "content_html": "

\"Good “My good friend, Lisa and me.”

\n

It was the fall of 1960 when I met Lisa. We were in second grade together in Mrs. Alexander’s room. It depends who you talk to. Some say Mrs. Alexander was a sweetheart. Others…not so much. She seemed to have one student every year that was on her black list. Nothing you could do would please her if you were on her dark side…and that is the unenviable position I found myself in during second grade.

\n

She made me nervous. And when I get nervous, I can’t eat. Every day I would try to eat my lunch because every day she saved my lunch tray to show my mom that I wasn’t eating. I always felt like I was in trouble. Mom took me to the doctor and he gave me a “tonic” that I took a spoonful of every day. Together, they decided Mom should pack my lunch. Maybe it was just the school food I didn’t like. But that wasn’t it. Even when I had my favorite foods in my cute little plaid lunch box, I just could not eat.

\n

One day, before lunch, I was standing in line to wash my hands in the bathroom. My stomach was churning and I knew I was going to have trouble eating. I was praying under my breath, when the little girl in front of me turned around and looked me straight in the eye. It was Lisa.

\n

“Are you praying?” she asked.

\n

I silently nodded my head and cast my eyes downward…ashamed to be in such a dire circumstance.

\n

“What are you praying about?”

\n

“Mrs. Alexander scares me and I can’t eat. Every day I get in trouble because I don’t eat my lunch. She even took me to the office and the Principal spanked me!” My words tumbled over each other as I confessed my self-perceived weakness.

\n

“Well, here…I’ll pray with you.” Lisa wrapped her arm around my shoulder and hugged me close and we both prayed that I could eat again and that Mrs. Alexander would leave me alone.

\n

I was stunned by her kindness. I was relieved beyond words. Someone cared. Someone understood me. Someone wanted to help me. And…it was a little girl I didn’t know. I instantly loved her.

\n

Amazingly, that is the last time I remember the whole lunch fiasco. I don’t remember if my appetite returned, but I do know we moved shortly after that and I started attending a new school. I never had to deal with Mrs. Alexander again.

\n

Lisa and I attended high school together but we didn’t cross paths. We had a huge class and circles sometimes stuck to who you went to junior high with. However, several years later, I ran into Lisa at a high school reunion. She is an associate pastor now. I asked her if she remembered praying with me in the restroom before lunch that autumn day so long ago. But, alas…she did not. You see, Lisa was struck by a car as she crossed the street several years ago and very nearly died of her injuries. It left her with some long term memory loss. She was happy to know she helped me though, and we have become good friends.

\n

Lisa recently suffered a heart attack and we were absolutely thrilled when she came to coffee yesterday with the ‘71 Divas. She looks wonderful, healthy, strong. I couldn’t stop hugging her. She asked how Mr. FixIt was. She went all through school with him. Last year, when she found out we were dating, she literally jumped up out of her chair and threw her hands in the air and praised Jesus.

\n

“If there were anyone in the whole wide world I would want the two of you to have, it would be each other. This is PERFECT!” I couldn’t help but laugh and clap along with her exuberance. Lisa is wonderful. She is a straight shooter. She has seen her share of hardships in this life and has come out a loving, giving, God-centric woman and I love her dearly. I just wanted to share her with you today.

\n

Sending you love and light and prayers for continued good health, my friend. ❤

\n

“Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them."”\n‭‭Matthew‬ ‭18:19-20‬ ‭ESV‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2018-05-13T01:30:50-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/05/13/still-praying-together.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Fun","West Virginia","Gratitude","Grace","God","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/05/09/like-a-boss.html", "title": "Like a Boss", "content_html": "

\"Brakes\" “Be prepared when you speak to a mechanic. Do your homework and walk in like a boss.”

\n

When you are on your own, you need to be proactive and assertive when you are dealing with people in service related businesses. I recently had to have brakes and rotors on all four wheels. While I did get advice from my trusted inner circle, I always do these things on my own. When Mr. FixIt wants to help me do things like this, I gently remind him that…while I appreciate it tremendously…I need to do these things because he may not be around someday when I need something done. This has been quite an adjustment for him, but I love when he brags on my capabilities to his guy friends.

\n

I have noticed a squeak in the new brakes the last few days so I took the truck back in yesterday to have it checked. It still was squeaking afterwards, so I’ll watch it for a couple of days then take it back again if need be. I don’t apologize to them. They need to make it right. That’s what I’m paying for. I know the small metal pin that squeaks when you need to have brakes replaced can sometimes be bent. Hopefully, it’s something that easy.

\n

Yesterday was jam packed. Errands all morning. Then Mr. FixIt and I walked the Quincy Hill steps. I mowed at the farm. And when I got over to his house, he was tilling in a garden for me. We bought some tomato plants Monday. I’m so excited! I haven’t had a garden in decades. The only down side is, there are a couple of sweet little bunnies who hang out in the area where the garden is so we’ll have to figure a way to keep them out. Do bunnies eat tomato plants? They are pretty aromatic. I’ve never gardened where rabbits were a problem. Ours was always deer lined up like they’re heading into a buffet!

\n

I love days like this! ❤️

\n

“And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.”\n‭‭Luke‬ ‭6:31‬ ‭ESV‬‬

\n", "date_published": "2018-05-09T01:30:23-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/05/09/like-a-boss.html", "tags": ["Strong Women","Positive Energy","West Virginia","The Farm","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/04/20/no-apologies.html", "title": "No Apologies", "content_html": "

\"Unplug\" “It’s ok to unplug.”

\n

What happens when you have to “dig in and go dark?” When you have the diagnosis, you’ve gone through the years of treatments, nothing else is working, so your spouse makes the decision you have dreaded from the beginning…no more? That was the question posed to me. It’s different for everyone and I don’t know for sure…I haven’t suffered this particular hell. But, my answer was this. Do what you need to do and don’t apologize for it.

\n

Facebook has become a simplified way to let more distant family and friends know what’s going on during illness and the dying process. It tends to keep people from having to write the same story over and over. I suggested being honest. Tell them where you are in the decision process, explain you’re entering new territory with many unknowns that you’ll be learning to deal with as you go, and now…while you love each and every one and you covet their prayers…you have to unplug. Designate someone to let the closest people know what’s going on if you can’t do it.

\n

You don’t owe the world an explanation. I understand there will be those who feel left out or put out, but your time is best spent in communion with your loved one. You will have many demands on your time. Trying to update everyone on social media shouldn’t be one of them if it overwhelms you. From the other side of the coin, understand there’s a lot going on in a family whose loved one is dying and as much as you would like to know what’s going on, giving a family space and your prayers are the two best things you can do if you aren’t in the “inner circle.“

\n

Many of you have shared your experiences of going through this kind of loss. What kind of advice would you give to someone heading into the last part of the process? What helped you the most? What did you really need from people? How did you handle communications?

\n

Remember, when you’ve gone through loss and you’re functioning better and moving forward, don’t forget to turn back around and offer your hand to those coming up behind you on the same journey. Insight…it is one of the gems in the flame. ❤

\n

“…a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;”\n‭‭Ecclesiastes‬ ‭3:7‬ ‭ESV‬‬

\n", "date_published": "2018-04-20T01:30:14-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/04/20/no-apologies.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Fear","Courage","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/04/14/sacrosanct.html", "title": "Sacrosanct", "content_html": "

\"Two “It’s good to love again.”

\n

Fridays. Since we first started dating, Fridays have been declared “sacrosanct”…too important or valuable to be interfered with. We don’t make plans with anyone on Fridays. That’s OUR day. We go where we want, do what we want. No obligations other than to enjoy each other’s company to the fullest. I’ve come to love Fridays. We look forward all week long to our special day. It’s special because we declared it so.

\n

We packed up from our week at the farm and headed back to the Ponderosa yesterday. We went to Walmart and bought oil and a filter so I could change the oil on my truck before we leave next week for the beach. It was only the second time I’ve changed the oil and Mr. FixIt sat right there and answered any questions I had. He handed me tools. And he offered words of encouragement when things didn’t go quite as smoothly as they had the first time. First, I tried using the creeper…that thing you lay on and roll under the vehicle. The new ramps Mr. FixIt bought aren’t as high as the old ones and with the creeper under me, I was feeling way too cramped. So I scooted back out and started over by wiggling under the truck. The engine was still pretty warm so the oil was runny and when I took the plug out of the oil pan, it sprayed everywhere. All over me…in my hair. What a mess. But, eventually…I got it done.

\n

I have never had a qualm about doing hefty projects around the house, but I always deferred things like changing the oil to the man of the house or the guy at Jiffy Lube. It never occurred to me to do these things. But after Mr. Virgo died, I felt so incompetent at so many things. I vowed I would learn how to do anything that needed doing so I would never feel that vulnerable again. Mr. FixIt is an excellent teacher and has infinite patience with me. At first, I think it bothered him a bit that I wanted to do things myself. It gives him great pleasure to do things for me. Now he seems to get a big kick out of watching me accomplish something and be so proud of myself.

\n

Loving after loss is different. I’m much more independent and assertive than I have ever been. This love encompasses fierce bravery and incredible tenderness. Case in point…I was putting laundry away yesterday when the song “At Last” came on the playlist. Out of the blue, I was standing in Rivers Restaurant on a crisp April day…dancing in Mr. Virgo’s arms. Our first, and only, dance was at our wedding reception. Nine times out of ten, I can hear that song and smile. Not yesterday. I sat on the edge of the bed and cried. It’s a short song. It was soon over and I dried my eyes and went on about my work. Later, I walked through the kitchen and Mr. FixIt was doing dishes. I stopped and watched him for a few moments. When he was finished, he turned and saw me standing there and smiled as he wiped his hands.

\n

“I love you more than I ever dreamed possible,” I said. “And, even with that deep love, I just sat on the bed and cried when “At Last” came on.”

\n

He knows the significance of the song. He opened his arms wide and drew me into his embrace. He held me close and whispered into my hair.

\n

“Of course you did, sweetheart. It brings back memories.”

\n

That’s all. No attempt to jolly me out of it. No rush to move me along and change the subject. Just honor. And love. And support. And validation. No one…no one could ever ask for anything more beautiful than that. What a wonderful man.

\n

I love Fridays. ❤

\n

“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.”\n‭‭1 Peter‬ ‭4:8‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n", "date_published": "2018-04-14T01:30:03-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/04/14/sacrosanct.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","Wisdom","Choices","Change","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/04/09/hiraeth.html", "title": "Hiraeth", "content_html": "

\"Hiraeth “Hiraeth…a longing for a home you can’t return to.”

\n

A Welsh word for the yearning…the grief for the places of your past. Yet, not necessarily a house. A place in your life that you can never return to. This is so much of what grief is…that longing to return to that homely feeling of the love you shared with another. I remember feeling this so very strongly after losing my grandma. And then my mom. It consumed me when I lost Mr. Virgo…that longing for home.

\n

I felt it when I lost my dad, but in a different way. I yearned for the daddy I never had…not the father that was lost in his cups. I feel it from time to time for my mother’s house that I regretted selling almost before the ink was dry.

\n

I feel it in a way, at this very moment, lying in my grandparent’s bedroom…knowing each day here is one closer to the last I will experience in this place. Anticipatory hiraeth. I wonder if that’s a “thing”?

\n

I know this word. I feel this word in my bones. The dichotomy is not lost on me. Unspeakable joy, unspeakable tragedy, unspeakable joy. The ebb and flow of life swings with such violence at times. Right now, I’m enjoying an easy float down a peaceful stream, my fingers gently trailing in the calm blue water. But my bones remember. Bones never forget. ❤️

\n

“By faith we understand that the universe was created by the word of God, so that what is seen was not made out of things that are visible.”\n‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭11:3‬ ‭ESV‬‬

\n

#Hiraeth, #longing, #love, #home

\n", "date_published": "2018-04-09T01:30:04-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/04/09/hiraeth.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Growth","Wisdom","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/03/01/morning-walkabout.html", "title": "Morning Walkabout", "content_html": "

\"“Rhododendron “Rhododendron and the gas light”

\n

What an absolute treat it was to wake up out at the farm yesterday morning. Grandma’s bedroom is right along the creek’s edge and with all the rain we have been having, the sound of the water riffling along was like a lullaby. I slept so well and awoke refreshed and ready to face a busy day.

\n

Mr. FixIt and I did a morning walkabout on the property to check things out. He moved some fallen limbs from the ditch along the road and placed them on the burn pile. The daffodils are up about 8” high already and the grass is greening up nicely. I’ll need to mow before too long to mulch up the leaves that fell over the fall and winter. The rhododendron gets huge buds on them in the fall. They winter over and won’t bloom till late May or early June. They are still beautiful as they awaken from winter with a freshened shine to their leaves. They don’t drop their leaves like so many other plants. They just droop down all winter then stand up with their arms stretched wide in the spring.

\n

I am leaving today for a long camping weekend with the Girl Campers. We’ll be staying in cabins this trip. We try to get together in the late winter when the roads aren’t too bad. We work on whatever craft projects we have going. We make soups to share. These are some of the nicest women I have ever known and I look forward to these trips with great anticipation. I’ll share projects and recipes with you along the way but my writing may be a bit sparse this weekend as I take the time to kick back with my friends and relax.

\n

I do have some prayer requests for some wonderful people who are touched by illness. Please pray for healing, comfort, and God’s will. He knows who the prayers are for. Thank you all for your wonderful prayer support. There are many stars in your crowns. ❤️

\n

“In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.”\n‭‭Romans‬ ‭8:26‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2018-03-01T02:30:16-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/03/01/morning-walkabout.html", "tags": ["Faith","Travel","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Camping","West Virginia","The Farm","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Wisdom","Presence","Girl Camper","Girl Campers"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/02/25/grandmother-faces.html", "title": "Grandmother Faces", "content_html": "

\"Grandma “Grandma and me at about the same age.”

\n

I met my gal pals for coffee yesterday…these magnificent ‘71 Divas Do Coffee. We started meeting once a month about four years ago to gather at a coffee shop and participate in a little “caffeine therapy”. I had a coffee group in Colorado that met once a week for 35 years and I really missed the camaraderie. I gathered up my friends and invited them out and now we can’t imagine not getting to see each other at least that once a month visit. There are now offshoots of the group that meet for lunch almost every week. Some of them meet to take care of a flower garden in the City Park. A few of them are going to drive down Monday to see a sick friend in Huntington. They are a grand group of gals with many common bonds…predominantly graduating high school together.

\n

Some of us were talking yesterday about how different our grandmas were when they were our age. And how we looked at them then as SO old. We are just heading into our Medicare years. We are active, healthy, and youthful compared to our counterparts when they were 65.

\n

Now, don’t get me wrong. My grandma was a hard worker. She could work circles around women half her age. But there were differences. Some grandmas in the ‘60s worked at home. They had raised their kids and their gardens…they washed clothes in a wringer washer and hung them outside to dry. They washed their kitchen floors on their hands and knees. They rarely went to the doctor. They baked their own bread, canned and preserved food from their land. They killed rattlesnakes and copperheads in the outhouse. They cut down trees and hauled brush. They wore sensible shoes and modest cotton house dresses with a belt and a pocket for their hankies. They may not have had much formal education yet they were smart in every way necessary. They knew their neighbors and they knew their bibles. They more than likely didn’t drink or smoke. They were a different breed.

\n

Our generation had many more opportunities than our grandparents’ did. We moved from the farm and worked a 9-5 at an office or nursing at a hospital. We worked hard, to be sure…but not necessarily at hard labor. We got better educations, better healthcare. We voted and protested and worked for women’s rights. We bought our food in a grocery store. We had modern conveniences like automatic washing machines and dryers and dishwashers and microwaves. We bought ourselves some time. We had clubs and entertainment. We had television and news of world events. And we inched ever closer to that glass ceiling.

\n

Fashion aside, 65 year old grandmothers now are vastly different than most grandmothers of the ‘50s and ‘60s. Did my grandma FEEL old when she was my age? Do our grandchildren SEE us as ancient like we saw our grandparents. It boils down to how WE feel and I feel younger in most ways than I did thirty years ago. I know that won’t last forever. I’m feeling the pain of arthritis in my hands and knees and hips. I don’t remember quite as well as I used to. I have to take a handful of pills at night. But, I’m telling you this right now…I won’t go down without a fight! Because…today is the BEST day…the ONLY day that matters. I’m looking forward to many more.  ❤

\n

“Gray hair is a crown of splendor; it is attained in the way of righteousness.”\n‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭16:31‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2018-02-25T02:30:23-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/02/25/grandmother-faces.html", "tags": ["Strong Women","West Virginia","The Farm","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Aging","Presence"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/02/22/i-think-we-woke-up.html", "title": "“I Think We Woke Up The Children...”", "content_html": "

\"Protests “Protests…Then and Now”

\n

Those of us who were coming of age in the ‘60s remember the protests of the day. Slogans like “Make Love, Not War” are being replaced with “Arms Are For Hugging”. For the last several years I’ve been wondering…”Where are the hippies?” The adolescents of my generation changed the world. It has been frustrating to see subsequent generations become so complacent with the status quo.

\n

I’m not choosing sides here, although I have my own personal opinions and beliefs to be sure. I don’t advocate “taking sides” as much as I have wished for the kids to wake up and care about something. Anything. This is how change and growth occur in a democratic society.

\n

I applaud the young people standing up and speaking out. My heart both broke for them for the subject they must address and swelled with pride to see such passion and eloquence in their plea. This is our future. I would much rather see students rally against violence in schools than to see them give up and give in. I think they didn’t realize the strength of numbers. I think they got fed up and fired up and I hope they don’t back down.

\n

Edited*: That being said, I have been reminded by a caring reader of the ugly side of the “Make Love, Not War” movement. Our soldiers were subjected to incredible disrespect when they returned from Vietnam and there is absolutely no room for that in the world. Mr. Virgo was in Vietnam and he told me how badly he was treated when he came home. My point here is, I’m glad to see this generation stand for something instead of the disinterested  me-first attitudes of so many kids growing up in the generations since the ‘60s. I know that is a generalization. Peaceful, respectful protest with meaningful, informed dialogue can effect lasting change.

\n

I’ve been a placard carrier since the first political rally I attended. I have stood alone in a sea of opponents to support my beliefs. I have bucked the system. There came a point when I got tired. Disillusioned. Overwhelmed. We didn’t always get it right but it thrills me to see the children waking up, no matter what their call is. Another day…another dawning of the Age of Aquarius. ✌

\n

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."”\n‭‭Joshua‬ ‭1:9‬ ‭ESV‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2018-02-22T02:30:02-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/02/22/i-think-we-woke-up.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Peace","Presence"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/02/04/skeletons-in-the-closet.html", "title": "Skeletons in the Closet", "content_html": "\"A\n

Exploring genealogy can lead to some real surprises. Family secrets like the baby “born” to the woman in her sixties with a 16 year old daughter. To save face, the grandparents registered the birth as their own instead of their unwed daughter, even though the daughter continued to raise that little girl plus two more. Or how about the man who stole a pig, was exonerated, then got in a fight with the sheriff over something completely different and killed him in a barroom brawl. There’s suicides, like my great great uncle who had horrible lifelong pain from arthritis or one of Mr. FixIt’s distant relatives who took arsenic. You never know what you might find when you delve into the past.

\n

When I was a little girl, I had a special aunt. She lifted me up and made me feel good about myself. I remember her stooping down to tell me how beautiful I looked in periwinkle blue. It made my heart sing and I absolutely adored her. I grew up emulating her every move, style, thought. She was married to my dad’s brother and she did NOT like that side of the family. Unfortunately, she instilled that in me and I never really had much of a relationship with them. But I was one of her “special ones”. We talked for hours…HOURS. I basked in her attention.

\n

Then, somewhere along the line…there was a rift. I wasn’t allowed to come see her anymore. I had done something my uncle didn’t approve of and that was that. It was easier to let me go than to deal with his anger. I didn’t talk with her for a long time. Then Mr. Virgo died. I just had to talk to her…just one more time. I called and left a message. And told her I would try her only once more the following afternoon. When I called back, she picked up on the first ring. It was like old times. I collapsed into my beloved aunt’s love and she comforted me in my loss. She listened to me cry. We talked for two hours and when it came time to ring off, I sensed this was the last time I would ever talk with her. I wanted to make it count.

\n

I told her to listen to me. I told her I knew it wasn’t her turning me away because she didn’t love me. I knew the uncomfortable situation she was in. It was a different time. Women were more dependent…for a number of reasons. She couldn’t walk away. I understood that. I told her I loved her very much, I knew I was still one of her “special ones”, and I didn’t blame her. She cried. She thanked me for understanding. I told her goodbye. That was five years ago.

\n

I’m telling you…I was a late bloomer. I didn’t learn the lessons of your 20’s till I was in my 60’s. When an impressionable young girl is under the spell of a powerful mother figure, real personal growth isn’t possible until that influence is removed. In rapid succession, I lost my grandma, I lost a marriage in which I had always deferred to my husband, one of my best friends moved away, I lost my mom, my aunt, and Mr. Virgo…all in a period of a few short years. I was set adrift. I didn’t know how to be…me. It was bad enough that I lost my sweet husband and was grieving and had to learn how to be without him. But those people who should have been there to help me learn how to be a widow…weren’t. As a late bloomer, I had a crash course in Adulting 101. It was incredibly rough.

\n

Then something wonderful happened. OK, it was awful…I lost my dad. I was never close to him, but it was loss just the same. And right there in the basement of the church when we gathered to eat after the funeral, the miracle happened. Those family members on my dad’s side that I had shunned out of deference to my aunt, opened their arms and drew me in. They loved on me. They gave me their phone numbers. They planned a family picnic. I saw them…really SAW them as the beautiful people they are and I realized in that moment how much I had lost by being led astray. All those years, I thought I couldn’t love them both…my aunt AND my dad’s family. What a waste.

\n

Last night, I was diving into an hour or so of genealogy research before I started writing. I don’t know if you are familiar with ancestry.com. When there are new hints for a family member in your tree, a little leaf grows out of the upper right corner of their picture. It has been five years since I’ve signed into Ancestry to do a little snooping around. OMGosh! It looked like a forest in there! Leaves everywhere. I started with my parents and their siblings. I opened my uncle’s hint. A picture of his gravestone. He had died in 2016! I called my cousins and they hadn’t heard a thing. I googled. Nothing. I searched the newspaper archive. No obituary. Nothing.

\n

I sat back and let my mind wander and absorb the news. My thoughts swirled round till they started to settle into a reality. All this time, I had let myself believe that once this man was gone, my aunt could talk to me freely again. I could have that relationship back that I had cherished. But, it’s been two years. If she was going to call me…she would have by now. That’s too…half empty to me. Maybe she lost my contact information in the five years since we last talked. Maybe she has dementia and can’t call me. Or, maybe it was her. Maybe SHE was the one who didn’t like what I had done and cut me off.

\n

I spent about 15 minutes feeling really sad that I would never have that special relationship again. Then I realized I have gained SO much since things changed. I learned how to think for myself. I gained a whole family of cousins whom I love very much. Life is all about change. It isn’t always easy to adapt to change. However…adapt or stay trapped. It always comes back to choices. I’m special now because GOD says I’m special…I say I’m special…Mr. FixIt and my family says I’m special. And I still look beautiful in periwinkle blue. ❤️

\n

“But after you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who calls you to share his eternal glory in union with Christ, will himself perfect you and give you firmness, strength, and a sure foundation. To him be the power for ever! Amen.”\n‭‭1 Peter‬ ‭5:10-11‬ ‭GNBDC

\n", "date_published": "2018-02-04T02:30:45-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/02/04/skeletons-in-the-closet.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Presence","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/01/31/go-away-mr-snarky.html", "title": "Go Away, Mr. Snarky!", "content_html": "\"Lion\"\n

Something is fundamentally wrong with this world today. Ok…there are so many things, it’s hard to land on one…but today, it’s all about this guy I went to high school with. I love how the Lord gives me SO many opportunities to practice keeping my mouth shut. And I’m doing a whole lot better at it. God knows it isn’t easy for me sometimes.

\n

So, back to this guy. We’ll call him Joe. Ok, that’s his name…Joe. It doesn’t matter if I identify him here…he’ll NEVER see this post. Because Joe is FAR too busy making snarky political comments on other people’s Facebook pages.

\n

I became friends with Joe on Facebook in 2009. We were classmates all through school. He was one of the “cool kids”. He was a real cutie back in the day. I hate to admit that even in 2009, I kinda dug it if the “popular” people became my friends on Facebook. That’s sad, isn’t it? There was still some personal growth I obviously needed to work on…and Joe was my opportunity.

\n

In nearly every case, those classmates that I really didn’t know in school have turned out to be sheer delights as friends at this stage of the game. Not Joe. Joe is opinionated, snarky, and oh so bold in his political opinions now that his candidate is in the White House. I usually don’t care. I don’t discuss politics online. I can scroll by annoying posts…I’m an adult. But when I expressed concern at the $23M price tag on the refrigeration’s units for Air Force One, I wasn’t inviting a political discourse. I was questioning how a refrigerator could cost that much. I wanted to learn.

\n

Several people wrote genuinely kind responses, referring me to websites that explained the intricacies of such a piece of machinery. The two planes that are interchangeable to carry the President (whichever one has POTUS onboard at the time is called Air Force One) were first flown in 1987. Parts must be custom made because they are no longer being manufactured. Plans for new planes began under GW Bush but were postponed. The new planes will not be ready for service until 2023. The new planes will have more modern defenses against missiles and electromagnetic pulse attacks. And, apparently…cold snacks. (Thank you, Gina!) This was the kind of helpful, respectful answer I was looking for. Then, along came Joe.

\n

I’ve noticed over the last couple of years, Joe is really opinionated. REALLY. As in, “I have no respect for your opinion if it doesn’t agree with mine.” He dive bombs every conversation with politically charged nastiness. He doesn’t call you names or anything. He just jumps in and stirs the pot. I know. I could have cut him off at the knees a hundred times. But, I’ve been interested in seeing just how far he would take this. The thing is, it’s never quite enough to make me pull the plug. He’s just like an annoying fly at a picnic. I figured I’d just ignore him.

\n

The comment he made wasn’t necessarily offensive, or ugly. However…it just didn’t feel good. It wasn’t nice. It wasn’t supportive, or helpful, or kind, or even polite. I never strike back like with like. I was polite. I asked him not to come to my page and be snarky. I promised I wouldn’t go to his and do the same. It wasn’t enough for Joe. He had to swoop back in with the last word. I can tolerate political differences. I don’t have to suffer a fool.

\n

My dad was well into his eighties when the internet gained traction. He and I never saw eye to eye about much. But I’ll never forget him saying the internet was going to be the downfall of society. We’re watching it happen. People are losing their ability to be kind to one another. They are emboldened behind screens to say things they might not say to your face. And after some time, they lose even that reservation and the ugly comes out everywhere.

\n

I’m tired. I want nice again. I saw Tom Hanks is going to play Mr. Rogers in a movie about his life. Maybe that’s what we need…more Mr. Rogers. I miss manners. I miss kindness. I miss my country. I can work with anybody…just, for heaven’s sake, be nice. ❤️

\n

“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”\n‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭4:31-32‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2018-01-31T02:30:11-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/01/31/go-away-mr-snarky.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Growth","Grace","Peace","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Presence"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/01/22/in-the-beginning.html", "title": "In the Beginning", "content_html": "\"\"\n

Marshmallow Ranch actually started in 2001. I was separated from Hubby #2 the year before. I had worked in medicine before becoming a stay-at-home mom in 1986. Unfortunately, since my soon-to-be ex was a doctor in the community, it was a decidedly uncomfortable environment in which to seek employment. I found myself struggling to find a new career in our small, mountain community. I worked for about a year filling in at the local downtown shops…working one day a week at each of five stores, giving the shop owners a welcome day off. I found I enjoyed the interaction with the customers and I was very good at merchandising. My ex noticed this and proposed I open a shop of my own and he would help me get started.

\n

One of my favorite pastimes in those days was needlework. I belonged to the Embroiderer’s Guild that met once a month. I also belonged to a quilting guild. But my favorite was our weekly “Stitch and B****” held at my friend Judy’s house. We brought whatever project we were working on and sat around with coffee and pastries and got all the support we needed for whatever issue we were facing as young mothers. When I started thinking about what kind of shop I wanted to open, I asked the girls and they unanimously chimed in. “A needlework supply shop!”

\n

I really wanted my store on the main street through town for the foot traffic. Unfortunately, the rents there were out of my budget so I went two streets east. I was across the street from the Hotel Denver and catty corner from the Amtrak Station. The building was one of the oldest in town. It had been the St. James Inn at one time with a shady history of being one of the brothels in the early days when most of downtown consisted of tents and mud. When coming up with a name, I thought of Cat House Cross Stitch, but thought better of it. I finally settled on Needles & Pins. The owners of the building did a major remodel with my shop in mind. When it was complete, it was lovely. Old hardwood floors were brought back to life. Salvaged brick lined one wall. A large table was in the back room. Every Wednesday, women gathered at my shop for our own version of “Stitch and B****”. From the moment I opened the doors to closing time, the shop rang with the laughter of women sharing stories and solving the problems of the world. I lost my shirt…twice…but it was wonderful therapy for a lot of women, including myself. It’s when I first found my footing on my own again.

\n

If you are a cross-stitcher, you are familiar with cute publishing houses like “Birds of a Feather”, “Mosey & Me”, “Blackbird Designs” and “The Prairie Schooler”. Being an artist, I thought I would try my hand at designing some cross-stitch patterns. I wanted to come up with a cute name for the division of my business. As I was going through a box of things in my art studio one day, I came across the picture of a field in West Virginia with large, round bales of hay wrapped in white plastic. They looked all the world like huge marshmallows. I had taken the photo on a trip a few years earlier. My youngest had asked what those things were and her big sister teased her telling her this was a marshmallow ranch. This was where they grew big marshmallows then cut them up in little pieces, put them in bags and sent them to the stores. Marshmallow Ranch! The perfect name for my tiny little art division of Needles & Pins.

\n

Unfortunately, the shop wasn’t open long enough for my ideas to come to fruition. I did design three or four patterns and had samples stitched, but never got them published. This is the most detailed of my designs. I called it “Three Sheep”. Maybe someday I’ll get around to developing that idea again. Designing cross-stitch patterns isn’t as easy as it looks. Even with my interest in art, I’m not a very good judge of color. I found this picture on my new computer when the photos were delivered from the cloud and thought I’d share it with you. It’s been thirteen years since I closed the second incarnation of my little needlework shop. It was a difficult time in my life, but one that shaped the path of who I have become. It’s something I am proud of in retrospect. ❤️

\n

“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.”\n‭‭James‬ ‭1:17‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2018-01-22T02:30:44-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/01/22/in-the-beginning.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Fun","Growth","New Ideas","Gratitude","Grace","Presence","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/01/21/when-your-body-speakslisten.html", "title": "When Your Body Speaks...Listen", "content_html": "\"WV\n

I had a huge day planned yesterday. I was really looking forward to gathering with two different groups of friends. I awoke sometime before dawn and my body just said, “Nope. Not today. Go back to sleep.” In the past, I might have forced myself up and made myself go. Since losing Mr. Virgo, I’ve learned to listen more to my body when it speaks to me.

\n

Grief not only causes things like “grief brain” which was illustrated in the article I shared with you the other night. Several health ailments can be attributed to grief and the resultant stress it causes. High levels of cortisol…the “fight or flight” hormone…can cause everything from high blood pressure to heart disease to depression to substance abuse. It also affects your immune system and you tend to get sick easier and things last longer. There isn’t an expiration date on grief either. You may not be actively grieving, but you can still suffer from the repercussions.

\n

Yesterday it was tummy trouble. Easy enough to fix with rest, fluids and over the counter medications. I have to be extra careful with things like gluten and fats now. I didn’t have to do that before Mr. Virgo died. Another thing that came my way was an autoimmune response to grief and I developed plantar-palmar psoriasis. I doctored that with steroids and every psoriasis cream known to man. I tried folk remedies and old wive’s tales. Nothing touched it till last year when I started using doTerra’s LifePak vitamins and CBD (canabidiol) ointment. It’s pretty well controlled now with occasional applications and I take a small dose of the vitamins every other day or so.

\n

Nothing is the same after a profound loss. For a long time, I grieved not only for Mr. Virgo…but also for the ME that I lost in the process of grieving. When I finally let go of trying to recreate my life the way it was before, I began to embrace the life I was building. It’s much, much better but the physical things still creep up on me from time to time. I still find them frustrating, even though I am much better at listening to my body now. When it says, “Go back to sleep”…unless I have something that I absolutely HAVE to do…I listen. I texted my friends and told them I was going to have to bow out because I didn’t feel well. They totally understood. There will be other opportunities to get together. And I spent the day reading. I haven’t spent the day reading in ages because for the longest time, my grief brain wouldn’t allow me to concentrate long enough to get through a book. It was lovely to be able to read…and comprehend what I was reading. Mr. Fixit watched college basketball and a couple of movies while I cuddled up on the couch and listened to recordings of campfires and thunderstorms.

\n

Remember…self care is not selfish. It is necessary. If you are alone, you may have the freedom to practice self care any time, but not always. I am fortunate to have this wonderful man who understands and supports my need for self care on a regular basis. What a gift he is to me. ❤️

\n

“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen.”\n‭‭1 Peter‬ ‭5:7-11‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2018-01-21T02:30:15-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/01/21/when-your-body-speakslisten.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Presence","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/01/19/catching-up.html", "title": "Catching Up", "content_html": "\"Coffee\n

One of the best ways to catch up with paperwork is to have peaceful surroundings. Mr. FixIt had a day of errands to do. I think he kinda wanted me to tag along with him yesterday, but I know us well…I would have ended up coming in at 9:30 last night and none of this work would have gotten done.

\n

As soon as he left (with a big hug and kiss) I turned on praise music and cranked it up. I always need a little extra dose of Jesus when I am heading into a formidable task. Wading through many bags and boxes of papers and sorting them into some sort of organization that allows me to actually put my finger on things was the order of the day. With praise, and good coffee and French Truffles…I waded in with both feet and started making the first cuts. What was trash. What needed to be kept in which pile. I really, really hate paperwork! “Jesus is calling…” I can do this. “Do you thirst for a drink from the well…” I can do this. “The Father’s arms are open wide…” Oh, yes…I can definitely do this! “Bring your sorrows and trade them for joy…” YES…let’s DO this!!!

\n

As I often do, I talk out loud to Jesus when I’m working. The conversation is never one-sided. He always speaks to me through the Holy Spirit and tells me everything I need to hear. First, he smacks my hand a little…”Keep up with this stuff better.” He chides gently. “You know what an ordeal it is when you put it off till the end of the year. It seems overwhelming. If it’s difficult to slog through…remember to talk with me while you’re working. It makes the time pass faster. And, I can help. I can help you put things into perspective. I can help you find lost papers. I can help you remember who you need to talk to about this and that. I can help you make important decisions. Just remember to include me…even in the most mundane of your daily activities.”

\n

Then He goes on with his daily teaching. “Thank your Father for the gifts you receive. See all these papers? They are all articles of provision. That bank account? I gave you that gift to provide for your every need. Respect that. Balance every month…not because it’s a drudge, but because it’s an honor to see the abundance you have been provided with. The same goes for that insurance policy you have been complaining about because the price went up. Be grateful you HAVE insurance…and so far, you haven’t run out of money to pay for it. What about that accident last February? I know you have been dreading searching for all the papers you need to have in order to finish out that claim. Yes, that’s a pain…but, I made sure you weren’t terribly injured. And you received a much newer truck when yours was totaled. It was “a miracle” when you got that check that just almost covered the new truck, wasn’t it? It was Me…I made sure you have a safe, affordable vehicle. A little gratitude goes a long way, dear one.”

\n

What blessings I have. I have a Father that provides for me. I have a loving family that supports and loves me. I have this tremendous man in my life who loves me and shares his home with me as if it has always been mine…he’s just been waiting for me to come along. I have my health. I have the farm. I have TOW-Wanda. I have a retirement. I have Social Security and health insurance and soon, I’ll have Medicare…that carrot at the end of the race that will help provide for me in my golden years. I have a house…TWO houses…THREE if you count TOW-Wanda…to shelter me from the storms of life. I have food and clean water and clothes. I am wealthy….beyond my wildest dreams. I am LOVED. What a lovely way to look at the mundane, dreary chore of sorting through paperwork. What a lovely way to look at the world. Thank you, God! “You’re a good, good Father…it’s who you are, it’s who you are…” ❤️

\n

“And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.”\n‭‭Philippians‬ ‭4:19‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2018-01-19T02:30:51-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/01/19/catching-up.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Presence"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/01/17/times-up.html", "title": "Time’s Up", "content_html": "\"Time’s\n

I was a doctor’s wife. I had a beautiful life, for all intents and purposes. While he wasn’t a demonstrative man, I felt I was coping as best I could with his inability to meet my emotional needs. He was a good provider and a good dad. I could overlook the rest. There came a point when I started unraveling a bit. The clouds of depression circled around but never lit very long in those days. That is, until I went in for a physical. My doctor asked how I was doing and I told him I was a bit blue of late. I would often walk into the baby’s room, pick her up and rock her…and cry. “Hmmmmm… Inappropriate crying.” he wrote in my chart. He gave me a prescription for Zoloft and the race to self destruction began. How could I tell him why I was crying? How could I do that in the short time he had allotted for this visit? It was so much deeper than any pill could ever reach.

\n

As I write this, I’m watching the gymnasts facing their abusive doctor in court. What a different world it is for sexual abuse victims now. My first abuser was a senior in high school. I was eight or nine. I was playing with a friend when the big boy lured us into a garage to “look at toys”. When he had his hand in my pants, he was whispering things in my ear I didn’t understand. Mom said don’t talk to strangers. But “Butterball” lived in the neighborhood. We knew him. I stood stock still in the belief he would leave. When he was done with me, he went for my friend. In that moment, my maternal instincts kicked in and I grabbed her hand and ran down the hill to her house. I pounded on the door and her mother came to answer. I was frantic and told her what had happened. She opened the screen door and I thought…”Oh, thank God! She’s going to save us!” Mrs. G grabbed her daughter and drew her in the house. As I started to go in, she placed her hand on my chest, pushed me out the door, and said, “Don’t you EVER say anything like that EVER again to ANYBODY!” Then she slammed the door in my face.

\n

I went to my house and sat on the lawn trying to figure out what had happened. When I was really little, my babysitter’s teenage daughter had sex with her boyfriend in her room all the time. She caught me watching once and beat the tar out of me and told me I was bad. And here, a mother I knew and trusted told me I was bad and I had a pretty good idea it had something to do with that physical act I had no name for. I made a concrete decision right there. I would take Mrs. G’s advice. I would not tell my mom. I mean, what if I told her and SHE put me out on the street like my friend’s mom??? I would die!

\n

I never told, nor did I tell about the time it happened with my best friend’s dad when I was twelve or thirteen. You know…when you are convinced you are bad from your earliest memories, that kind of damage runs deeply and permanently in your DNA.

\n

I didn’t tell until I was watching my girls on the living room floor, playing. Daughter #1 was sixteen. Daughter #2 was one. I don’t know if it was the way the sun came in through the window or the way my daughter tucked her hair behind her ear or maybe it was the sound of their sweet innocent voices but suddenly those memories came rushing back with such force it nearly knocked me to my knees. The shadow of depression that was floating just out of my reach crashed on me with the force of a tsunami. That is when I started rocking my baby in the night…weeping. “Inappropriate crying”? I think not. I was trying to figure out how I was going to protect this precious child from the horrors that await little girls in the great big world. I was weeping for that little girl in me who was abused then turned away by someone who could have helped her..SHOULD have helped her. I was trying to figure out just one thing in my 38-year-old mind…”Who can I tell? And, what the hell does it matter now?” Just, please God…keep them safe.

\n

The fact that I’m sitting here alive and well, and that my children are beautiful and safely grown is testimony to a mother’s strength and courage. The road was long and filled with unexploded ordinance, but we made it through. I told my mom everything when I was about forty. I was hyper vigilant with my girls but they were never abused under my watch. Now, I tell and tell and tell in an effort to teach prevention and give permission to tell your own stories. Because, #timesup. No more secrets. No more lies. No more hiding in the dark.

\n

Yes…I’m proud of these young gymnasts. And, everyone else in the #metoo movement. I wish there had been this same moral outrage when these athletes came forward. It would have helped them so much because, just as it’s difficult to walk the path of grief alone, so too is the walk of abuse. It is the original “walk of shame”…only we did nothing wrong. It was not our fault.

\n

While I never wish pain on people as a rule, I felt a certain vindication when I watched that doctor with his face in his hands as he is forced to sit there while victim after victim sit before him and tell their stories. To see him take off his glasses and wipe the tears away and hang his head in shame gave me great satisfaction. My abuse occurred in a time when such things weren’t talked about. Therefore, my abusers went on and lived their lives unscathed. I don’t know if they ever felt bad. Did they ever have remorse? Did they ever think of me? Did they ever want to ask for my forgiveness but didn’t know where to find me? Or better yet, did they ask God to forgive them? Did they find salvation? Will we meet somewhere and have the opportunity to talk? One is dead. Too late. I’m not sure about the other one. He’d be about 74 years old now. I’ve forgiven them both long ago. But I do often wonder…what if? What if I could sit (or could have sat) in front of my abusers and tell them what their actions did to me. How it affected my family, my relationships, my children. How it affected my views of the world and my sense of personal safely and my relationship to sexuality. How their few moments stolen from me left a deep chasm in my psyche that I urgently tried to fill with drugs and alcohol, sex and shopping. How the memories I had so carefully packed deeply away in a place that could never be opened came crashing out on a sunny Saturday morning…ripping my neat and tidy little suburban doctor’s wife life into shreds.

\n

Inappropriate crying?!?! You got a couple of hours to listen to WHY I was holding my baby and crying?!?! You tell me, doc. Because at that point, I had no words to describe what had happened, no one to listen…to really hear…and only tears to shed. Your answer? Drugs. Drugs, drugs, and more drugs.

\n

“Shhhhh…here. Take this. Let us help.”

\n

I was very nearly “doctored to death”.

\n

Yes, today I am proud of these beautiful young women doing a job no one in their right mind wants to do. We should be living in a world where we don’t ever NEED to have these conversations. As Oprah said…there is a change coming.

\n

Accountability.

\n

A new dawn is rising.

\n

Time’s up. ❤️

\n

“If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.”\n‭‭Matthew‬ ‭18:6‬ ‭NIV

\n", "date_published": "2018-01-17T02:30:46-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/01/17/times-up.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Grace","God","Peace","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Presence"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/01/13/the-umbrella-incident-or-how.html", "title": "“The Umbrella Incident” or “How to Feed Your Man”", "content_html": "

\"Winter “Winter Flooding in West Virginia” by Ginny McKinney

\n

It all started innocently enough. It was going to rain and I was heading to town soon. As I jumped in the shower, I called out to Mr. FixIt.

\n

“Honey…would you mind grabbing my umbrella out of the truck?”

\n

When I got dressed and was heading out the door, I looked around. My umbrella wasn’t there. I asked if he had gotten it for me and Mr. FixIt said no. There was an umbrella there by the door. Now, it was a perfectly good umbrella. One that, you know, keeps rain off of you. But I wanted MY umbrella and I felt Mr. FixIt had made a decision for me. I didn’t like it.

\n

Silly…that was just plain silly of me. But, I am my mother’s daughter and stubborn is my middle name. I hopped out the door and into the rain…sans umbrella.

\n

“I’ll show YOU!” I thought as I made a mad dash for the truck. “I don’t need your stinky old boy umbrella!”

\n

Ridiculous. I got wet because I got my nose out of joint. And why? Because, somewhere in the far recesses of my mind I equated “Please get my umbrella.” with “Please tell me you love me.” That is old school thinking right there…something I thought I left behind like…two relationships ago.

\n

It’s been a couple of weeks now. And ever since, I’ve been criticizing Mr. FixIt’s every move. Mostly because he’s a man and he had surgery and he’s SUPPOSED to be taking care of that hand so it will heal properly and he’s as stubborn as me and he does things his way and….did I say he was stubborn? I have spent the better part of two weeks with “Don’t pick that up!” And “Here…let ME do it!” I think there were eye-rolls involved. All of this was done in an effort to punish him for a perceived slight that was nothing more than something made up in my head. Some unpacked baggage from seasons past that has absolutely nothing to do with him.

\n

Then…the rain started.

\n

It rained…hard. Yesterday morning I awoke to the sounds of the carpet cleaner sucking water up from the rug downstairs. The basement flooded! I jumped up and ran downstairs. And there was my man…emptying one gallon containers of dirty water into the sink…carrying them with two hands, one of which he isn’t supposed to lift anything heavier than popcorn.

\n

“Breathe…breathe…don’t scold him. He’s not a child.” My inner voice reasoned with me.

\n

“Did you plug in the sump pump?” I asked.

\n

“No.” Shoulders slumped. Voice dejected.

\n

“Are you kidding me?” I asked.

\n

Shoulders slumped more. “Stupid. It was stupid.”

\n

I took the carpet cleaner and started that part myself so he wouldn’t have to carry the bucket to the sink. Mr. FixIt went about sweeping up water in the room without carpet. He ran the vacuum. We didn’t talk much. Then I sent him off on an errand to town.

\n

After he left, I went upstairs and fixed myself a cup of coffee. I sipped it as I ran the carpet cleaner back and forth over the soggy carpet. And I fumed. Then I could see the dejected slump of my sweetheart’s shoulders and my heart softened.

\n

“Lord,” I said out loud. “I haven’t been loving this wonderful man you gave me the way I should. I haven’t been loving him the way you love me. And all because he didn’t get my umbrella for me!”

\n

I sucked up more water, emptied the bucket, and began again.

\n

“Lord, please give me the heart of a cheerful servant. Let me see all of his good qualities and none of the annoying traits that make us human. Can you do that for me, please?” I asked with sincere earnestness in my voice.

\n

Suddenly, the old hymn “Farther Along” started up in my mind and I began to sing out loud as I vacuumed up bucket after bucket of water.

\n

“Tempted and tried we’re oft made to wonder\nWhy it should be thus all the day long\nWhile there are others living about us\nNever molested though in the wrong.

\n

Farther along we’ll know all about it\nFarther along well understand why\nCheer up my brother, live in the sunshine\nWe’ll understand it all by and by.

\n

When death has come and taken our loved ones\nIt leaves our home so lonely and drear\nThen do we wonder why others prosper\nLiving so wicked year after year.

\n

When we see Jesus coming in glory\nWhen he comes down from his home in the sky\nThen we shall meet him in that bright mansion\nWe’ll understand it all by and by.

\n

Farther along we’ll know all about it\nFarther along we’ll understand why\nCheer up my brother, live in the sunshine\nWe’ll understand it all by and by.

\n

Yes, we’ll understand it…all by and by.”

\n

I sang and sang and in two verses…maybe three…something happened. Any negative thoughts I had been having dissolved. My heart was soft and open. God had indeed given me the heart of a cheerful servant, just as I had asked.

\n

I went on and worked, happily singing and emptying bucket after bucket of dirty flood water. I worked for about three hours when Mr. FixIt walked in carrying breakfast for me. I went upstairs and gave him a great big hug and an even bigger smile. I thanked him profusely for bringing me a warm breakfast. I hadn’t taken time to eat. I patted the seat beside me. He shook his head and said no…he needed to get back to it.

\n

“Please?” I begged. “Just for a minute.”

\n

He smiled and sat down.

\n

“Sweetheart, listen…I know you feel stupid for not plugging in the sump pump. But, I could have thought of it, too. And I didn’t. We unplugged it to put up the snowman for Christmas and just forgot. We make mistakes…it happens. It wasn’t your fault.” I put my hand on his knee and looked at him intently. I wanted to make sure he heard me.

\n

Mr. FixIt turned those baby blues to mine and gave me his sweetest smile. And, I felt I’d made it right. This is how you feed a man. You feed his spirit. You feed his soul. You breathe life into him. When you start looking for the bad in your love…that’s all you will see. I really, REALLY don’t want to go there. Do I get it right all the time? Oh, heck no! I’m human, too. I stumble and forget and let my lower self talk WAY too often. But sometimes I get it right. Sometimes I remember to ask God for help. Yesterday was one of those days. ❤️

\n

“Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”\n‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭4:16‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n", "date_published": "2018-01-13T02:30:33-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/01/13/the-umbrella-incident-or-how.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Presence"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/01/12/here-comes-the-rain.html", "title": "Here Comes the Rain", "content_html": "

\"The “Belpre Bridge” by Ginny McKinney

\n

Yesterday morning was sunny and warm. By warm, I mean 47. As in…above freezing! And by afternoon it was 72 degrees according to the thermometer on my truck. swoon I haven’t felt this warm since sometime back in September. It was downright balmy out there!

\n

Mr. FixIt and I had errands to run yesterday and he asked me mid-day what I’d like for lunch. My go to favorite? The Southwest Grilled Chicken Salad with Fat Free Honey Mustard Dressing from Chik-fil-A! And my go to favorite place to eat it? Point Park in Parkersburg. I wanted to watch the ice floes out on the Ohio River. Yesterday, there were three Blue Herons and a bunch of Seagulls sitting out on the ice. I believe two gents were trying to woo the same lady heron because one kept shooing off the interloper. Said lady was having none of it and kept flying away from Mr. Romance.

\n

It had just started raining when we parked in our favorite spot. We really wanted to see a tug pushing barges through the ice but unfortunately, none came along. As an update, Mr. FixIt started working with a hand therapist yesterday. He’s doing really well. He did strain it a little last Sunday night when he pushed up off the floor, but it’s much better now. The therapist made a custom splint for his wrist and thumb that is much sturdier than the one he was given at the surgeon’s office and I am relieved. I was very worried he would slip on the ice and snow last week and really do some damage. We sure don’t want to have to go through this again!

\n

One of my friends and his wife lost their faithful companion, Blue, yesterday. When I was so lonely and hurting, so many of my readers encouraged me to adopt a dog, but this is exactly why I couldn’t. I simply couldn’t put myself through that loss. Mr. Virgo and I put our seventeen-year-old Yorkie-Maltese mix down just three months before Mr. Virgo himself died suddenly. We had had Cricket cremated and were going to spread her ashes in the flower garden in the spring. When Mr. Virgo died, I just put that little box of ashes in the casket with him and swore I’d never have another dog. My heart aches for those who lose their beloved fur babies.

\n

With the nature of grief being so unpredictable, sometimes you literally feel as though you are just one crisis away from losing it entirely. I cannot tell you how many times I have been in the throes of grief, and the accompanying anxiety, and I have felt like I just couldn’t handle one more thing. As a matter of fact, the FEAR of having one more thing happen actually escalated everything. I have an arsenal of coping strategies at my disposal, but sometimes the slope is too steep and the boulder gains too much momentum too fast. There were so many nights when it all got away from me and all I could do was cling to God and pray for morning. If I can get a hold of the wave early enough, the best thing I can do is get out of the situation I’m in. It usually hits me when I’m in bed, so I get up and do something…scrub the kitchen floor, clean out the fridge, run the vacuum.

\n

Another thing that will stop things from spinning out of control for me is writing. There have been countless times I’ve sat down to write my post while I’m feeling the waves of grief and anxiety come over me. As I write, I can literally feel the stress, fear, and anxiety fade…sometimes melting away entirely. I can’t stress enough how much writing can help you through grief. You don’t have to have a blog. Get a journal and write in it every night. I not only wrote this blog, but I filled several personal journals through the first two or three years after Mr. Virgo died. Writing saved me. TOW-Wanda saved me. God saved me. ❤️

\n

““This is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says: ‘Write in a book all the words I have spoken to you.”\n‭‭Jeremiah‬ ‭30:2‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n", "date_published": "2018-01-12T02:30:57-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/01/12/here-comes-the-rain.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","God","Peace","Wisdom","Presence"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/01/11/the-bent-reed.html", "title": "The Bent Reed", "content_html": "

\"The “The Bent Reed” by Ginny McKinney

\n

A lot of people are struggling right now. I don’t know what it is about January. Sure, there’s the let down after the holidays. There’s the long, dark nights. There’s the bitterly cold, grey days. But there’s more than that. There’s a lot of loss.

\n

I have friends who are dealing with very serious health issues…either of their own or members of their immediate family. I get prayer requests daily…from multiple people. Disasters, accidents, illness, death. Add this on top of the usual slump of January and it can send you down in a spiral in a hurry.

\n

I was reminded of this beautiful verse the other day. I wish I would have had it written down so I could have carried it with me in those first long dark winter months without Mr. Virgo. I know it would have helped. As with all things, it has come to me now…when it means the most. When I need it the most. When I need to share it. God always provides.

\n

My mom died after a brief illness of five days in January 2014. My cousin’s husband a year later at 50. My sweet Uncle Bob the next January. January is just not a good month…for me and for a lot of other people.

\n

I bought a new computer the other day. When I was setting it up this week, I noticed a bunch of photos had come down out of the cloud. I hadn’t seen them in a long time, since my computer has been on the fritz for a while. I was scrolling through when my screen was filled with…Mr. Virgo…in his casket. A friend took the picture for me. At first, I thought it was macabre. Then I realized I needed to have that. For a long time it was the only thing that would allow me to cry. I needed to get that out. But somewhere along the line, the pictures from the funeral home made their way up into the cloud and I didn’t see them again. Till this week. It was like getting sucker punched when that popped up, filling my screen with a vision so painful you can feel it in your bones.

\n

Yes, a lot of people are struggling. Debbie’s husband Toby is in the hospital. Sue’s friend had a biopsy today. Lynn’s family is struggling. Diane lost both her parents and her father-in-law in Januarys along the way and her best friend just lost his dad. The world seems to be reeling under forces whipping it into a frenzy. So, again…I am reminded of this verse.

\n

God will not break a bent reed. He will not snuff out a smoldering flame. When you are at your weakest point, God is still strong. The same God that gave his Son. The same God that walked on water and rose the dead and healed blind men. The same God that breathed life into this world lives today. And He knocks. And He waits. He is a patient, polite God. He will not impose himself. He will not barge in on you. He waits for you to open the door. Opening that door is what has made it possible for me to keep breathing, to keep walking forward through every storm…through every season. I was only bent. ❤️

\n

“A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out…”\n‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭42:3‬ ‭NIV

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2018-01-11T02:30:39-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/01/11/the-bent-reed.html", "tags": ["Faith","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Presence"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/01/08/old-friends.html", "title": "Old Friends", "content_html": "\"Namaste\"\n

Our babies were just wee ones when we met. We were taking a sewing class together which really turned out to be twice a week therapy for busy moms to vent and create something beautiful. Sue took my breath away. Tall and slender with that long, thick, full-bodied hair those of us with baby fine strands drool over, she embodied the earth mother I so desperately wanted to be. We became fast friends. We got together and had tea. We hiked. We stitched and b****ed our way through our children’s youth. We were soccer moms. And, even though we were several years apart in age, we had so much in common.

\n

Sue is one of those friends you may not speak to more than once or twice a year. But when you do, you feel this incredible soul connection and time disappears. We pass each other on Facebook. We give each other virtual hugs and atta girls. We know we are never more than a message or a text or a phone call away.

\n

Sue moved away from Glenwood Springs a couple of years before that cataclysmic event…the overdose…and my world changed dramatically. She was so worried about me. She was supportive and listened and offered me unconditional love. There was a long stretch of time when we didn’t get to see each other. She was at our wedding. Then Mr. Virgo died and she couldn’t come to the funeral. When I went on my three month journey into the wilderness and backroads of Colorado, Sue invited me to her little “ranchita” down near the Four Corners area. She had ten acres overlooking Mesa Verde. She had a labyrinth she had designed and built. By this time, she was an accomplished yogi.

\n

The day I arrived at her place near Dolores, Sue came running out of the house and grabbed me. She hugged me tight then pulled back and looked me in the eyes.

\n

“You said you were doing ok…but I had to see for myself. I wouldn’t know for sure till I squeezed you!” Then she drew me in for another hug.

\n

Sue ministers to you with softness, compassion. She settled me in the rocking chair by the big picture window. She brought me tea. She sat with me and we rocked…the comforting quiet hanging between us like a well worn quilt as we watched the birds at the immense feeder just beyond the glass. We drove to Silverton one day to be at the finish line of a mountain bike race. I was terribly anxious the night before. I had a really hard time with anxiety the first year or two after Mr. Virgo died. Sue sat with me for hours into the night as I cried and threw up and was generally a horrible mess. She’s that friend…the one who loves you when you’re really messy. She is the one who kicked me in the butt and made me write my book. She said…”Write it now while there is pain in your heart. We will feel it. If you try to write it after you heal, you will lose that voice.” She is so right. I love her dearly.

\n

It’s a new year…time for us to reconnect. Sue and I talked for two hours and twenty-two minutes last night. We discussed all the changes in our lives…all the changes to come. And we decided to plan a yoga retreat. We’ll have yoga sessions as well as talks…nutrition, self-care, grief, art, music, writing. I have a picture in my mind of what I want it to look like. I’ll let you know as we formulate a plan and I’d love you to come!

\n

Life is full of interesting twists and turns, isn’t it? My word this year is “presence”. By being present, I will flow through life more awake, more open, more prepared to embrace challenges. Retreats have been a HUGE dream of mine. Time to start letting that dream out to play! ❤️

\n

“gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”\n‭‭Galatians‬ ‭5:23‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2018-01-08T02:30:25-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/01/08/old-friends.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","New Ideas","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Humbled","Presence"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/01/07/epiphany.html", "title": "Epiphany", "content_html": "\"“Epiphany”\n

Epiphany

\n

Epiphany; noun: plural noun: epiphanies

\n

A) the manifestation of Christ to the Gentiles as represented by the Magi (Matthew 2:1–12).

\n

B) the festival commemorating the Epiphany on January 6.

\n

C) a manifestation of a divine or supernatural being.

\n

D) a moment of sudden revelation or insight.

\n

Yesterday was Epiphany. Traditionally, it marks the end of the Christmas Season. The day the Three Wise Men visited the baby Jesus and bestowed their gifts to Him.

\n

Epiphany also means a sudden revelation, insight, and/or appearance of a supernatural being. Eighteen years ago, I experienced epiphany on many, many levels. I was seven years into a devastating depression…one I could see no way out of. I was over prescribed medications by a medical community that my husband at the time belonged to. I was a doctor’s wife. I had WAY too ready access to medications I had no business being on because a referral pattern is a terrible thing to waste. Doctors hate to take care of other doctor’s family. It puts a lot of pressure on them to go above and beyond…to be exemplary…to have a positive outcome, no matter what. Unfortunately for me, that meant seven years of medications that made me a zombie. Add a psychiatrist who told me at every visit, that this was just the way I was…I would need to take these medicines every day for the rest of my life…that I had a chemical imbalance in my brain. I lost my 40’s…literally. My marriage was irreparably damaged. December of 1999 found me struggling. My 20th Anniversary came and my husband told me he wasn’t in love with me anymore. I was devastated. I couldn’t see how I could possibly live without him. I circled the drain and on January 6, 2000…I overdosed on two full bottles of pills and I very easily could have died.

\n

As they worked on me in the emergency room…these doctors and nurses with whom my husband and I socialized…I “faded”. My vision became a tunnel. My hearing damped down till it sounded like I had tin cans over my ears. I didn’t see a great white light like some talk about when they have a near-death experience. I’ve drawn it here, as close as I can. It was this incredibly beautiful disc of cobalt blue with golden rays of light radiating from it all around like an eclipse. It was ethereal and sparkly and incredibly peaceful.

\n

As I stood in this immense ocean of blue light, my hearing left me and there was no sound. Dead air. Nothing. And suddenly, my grandma’s voice cut through the silence and straight into my left ear, as if she were standing beside me and bent down to speak directly to me. She shouted at me!

\n

“Young lady…you get back down there right now! You have work to do!!!”

\n

Immediately, my eyes flew open wide and I was in the ER, lying on a gurney, the overhead light shining in my eyes. I squinted at the glare and the sudden rush of noise. I rolled up on my side and threw up violently. After a while, I turned on my back. A nurse was leaning over me…a look of sincere concern on her face. I burst into tears when I realized what had happened. I kept crying, “I’m so ashamed, I’m so ashamed, I’m so ashamed.” She wrapped her arms around me and pulled me close to her and whispered in my ear, “You have nothing to be ashamed of. You’ve been sick. You’re going to be ok.”

\n

I was at the bottom of the barrel in that moment and I had to begin a very long climb back. It took a great deal of intense therapy to convince me the other doctor was wrong and I really didn’t have a chemical imbalance in my brain. It took a full three years to wean off the medications he had me on. My marriage was over. I nearly lost my relationship with my kids. It took a huge amount of work, strength, and determination to rebuild my life.

\n

I think that experience actually gave me tools to help me cope with losing Mr. Virgo years later. I survived that horrible ordeal. I surely could survive this one. I’ll survive the next. It’s fitting that the overdose occurred on Epiphany. The symbolic ending. The supernatural appearance of my grandma’s disembodied voice…nine months after her death. The moment of sudden revelation and insight that I had gone as far away from where God wanted me to be as I could possibly go.

\n

I look back on those years with a sadness that I lost so much. I look back on that night with the absolute conviction that God sent the one person I would listen to…my grandma. I believe with all my heart that God saved me that night because He wasn’t done with me. He still had work for me to do. And, I also believe I could not have done any of this work if I had never had those seven years of walking through hell…if I had never had that devastating overdose…if I had not nearly lost everything.

\n

Those of you who have been following me for a long time have probably heard this story before because I consider January 6th my “Re-Birth Day” in a literal sense. My second chance. My do-over. And for those of you new enough that you haven’t heard it yet, it might give you a sense of where I’ve been, even before the devastating loss of Mr. Virgo. We all have struggles in life. And, so far, I’ve survived all of them 100% of the time. For a long time, I was embarrassed by this story. Depression. Anxiety. Drugs. Dysfunction. Once I became a Christian, I realized God can use me to help others in similar circumstances. If I shine His Light into every dark corner of my life and show that Light to you, then I am doing what He put me on this earth to do. I’m at peace with that part of my life now. It doesn’t embarrass me. I am not ashamed. I am strengthened by a God that wouldn’t let ME decide it was time to go. I am immensely grateful for the opportunities I’ve been given…a chance to rebuild broken relationships…a chance at great love, not just once, but twice. I’ve lost much…but I’ve gained so much more. ❤️

\n

““Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord rises upon you.”\n‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭60:1‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n", "date_published": "2018-01-07T02:30:01-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/01/07/epiphany.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Humbled","Presence","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/01/06/greater-is-the-one.html", "title": "Greater is the One", "content_html": "\"Earth\n

The nature of my writing has grown with the changes I have gone through on my grief journey. Early on, it was so incredibly painful to even try to put words together to express my pain. I understood for the first time how God could hear our prayers when all we can manage are groans. Once the words started, it was like releasing a torrent. My pain literally fell onto the pages and it was emotionally exhausting…for me, and for you as well. The release was cathartic. The more I let it go, the more my heart healed.

\n

Not everyone has a blog where they can release the pent up pain, anger, frustration, confusion that comes with grief. I am blessed with this venue and I don’t take any of you for granted. Your feedback and support has been so incredibly healing for me. I am blessed with family and friends who were supportive during the early months of my grief. The day Mr. Virgo died and I called my daughters, they dropped what they were doing and jumped in their cars to begin the long drive to be with me. They stayed by my side. They answered the phone for me. They made important calls. They took me everywhere I needed to go. Daughter #1 slept with me every night with her arm across my chest to protect me, to calm me, to reassure me I was not alone.

\n

People gathered and surrounded me with love and support and food. My daughters and I bought every funny DVD we could find and tried to find someplace to land besides terror and pain. My friends held me in silence…the same friends who dressed me for my wedding and placed the flowers all around. Here they were…nearly six years to the day…doing the only thing they could do. After we lay Mr. Virgo in the ground, we gathered at our home…my home. I went straight to the humidor and got the expensive cigar he was saving for golf in the summer. I grabbed the bottle of Courvoisier I had used for Mr. Virgo’s favorite fruitcake. And I gathered the men…and my younger daughter. She was particularly close to her stepdad. We went to the front porch and smoked the cigar, and passed the bottle around till it was gone. We told manly stories of golf and travel, hotels and restaurants…all things Mr. Virgo.

\n

After everyone left, the family gathered me up and took me to a restaurant to entice me to eat. I hadn’t had much of anything but coffee for days. It was the day before St. Patrick’s Day…a fine day to be buried, Mr. Virgo would have said. My daughters needed to get back to Denver. Daughter #1 offered to stay longer if I needed her. And while I did…desperately…I said no. I knew she needed to get back to her own family…her own life. And so, just like that, they were gone. And the house became quiet.

\n

I stayed home alone for a week. I had paperwork to do and some things to wrap up at work. I packed a bag, stopped my mail, and headed to Denver to be near the kids. My son-in-law’s parents kept me at their home. I don’t remember the first week I was there…except that I didn’t get dressed for a week and only occasionally ventured out of the room for a little food. I slept much of the time. Finally, I started to join the land of the living again.

\n

Slowly…ever so slowly…I moved forward. Days became weeks and week, months. The firsts started…my first birthday without him, his birthday, the holidays. Our wedding anniversary was just three weeks after he died. People called to see how I was doing. They sent cards and texts and checked in with me on Facebook. One of my daughter’s friends from high school contacted me every week for the first year. And eventually…they all moved on. It was inevitable. They can’t stay forever. They can’t stop their lives forever.

\n

At first, I was really put out. I still needed to vent. I still needed to cry. I needed to tell every story, a hundred times. I needed so much. I needed more than they could ever give. I have to say, I never felt completely abandoned. I am blessed to have the most fabulous people in my life who would listen to me even today if I called and cried. However…I did feel “like a burden”, as one of my readers put it. I didn’t want to unload on them all the time. Somehow, I managed to reach that tipping point where I realized I needed to start managing this pain on my own. That was a really lonely stretch. I was pretty sure I wouldn’t have to sit in that “waiting room” (as my friend Christina Rasmussen calls it in her book, Second Firsts) forever, but I had no idea how long I’d be in this social limbo. I wanted to stay alone forever AND I wanted to be with people. I wanted to be invited out AND I wanted to never talk to another soul. I wanted to feel normal AND I didn’t want to feel anything. Oh….grief is crazy making.

\n

I had to have something to hang onto…something, someONE, who would anchor me and keep me from flying off the face of the earth. Even though I had been a Christian for seven years, I only attended church sporadically. One Sunday morning, many months after Mr. Virgo died, I decided I needed to talk to someone who never tired of hearing my cries. Someone who would give and give and give…no matter how much I needed. Who would love me no matter how messy or messed up I got. I went back to church…and I’ve been going ever since.

\n

As much as people want to help…they are people. They are fallible. They can say the wrong things. They can feel overwhelmed by your pain. They can burn out from your grief. But God? God never gets tired of hearing from you. God never gets tired of comforting you. He never gets tired of holding you close. Greater is the one who lives within me than the one who lives in the world. God is the one…the only one who will always, always love you. Even when you cry that horrible snot-slinging cry that no one needs to see. Even when you are so anxious you stay up puking all night. Even when your life seems not worth living. The only way you can lose is to give up. Don’t give up. Don’t ever give up. Because joy comes again. It sneaks in the cracks of your broken heart when you least expect it. Not all at once…just a little tiny bit at a time. But it comes, dear one. Hang on…it comes. ❤️

\n

“You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.”\n‭‭1 John‬ ‭4:4‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n

#God, #Love, #Light

\n", "date_published": "2018-01-06T02:30:38-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/01/06/greater-is-the-one.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Presence"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/01/04/on-being-brave.html", "title": "On Being Brave", "content_html": "\"Drawing\n

I step out…WAY out of my comfort zone here sometimes. I believe in pushing boundaries in order to grow. It has made me a stronger, more well-rounded person to stretch since Mr. Virgo died.

\n

I’ve always been creative. I can draw and paint landscapes, flowers, houses and do a pretty fair rendition. But people and animals…faces…elude me. I never get the proportion right. I’m heavy handed. There is no “life” in them.

\n

When my iPad died at the beginning of the year and I bought a new one, there was this white pencil lying next to it. I asked the salesman what it was and he told me it was a new tool to draw with. He showed me a program called Procreate and he could turn the pencil into a paintbrush loaded with oils or a big, fat pastel or a fine technical pencil. Anything…this thing can be anything! It was magic to me and I HAD to have it. Have it, I did. I knew I wouldn’t have time to really use it until the long dark nights of winter so I’ve been anxiously waiting to play with it.

\n

I have no idea why on earth I would start with a face. I did a study on eyes. I did a quick sketch that vaguely resembled Mr. FixIt. Then I put on my headphones, turned on the Kari Jobe station on Amazon Music and closed my eyes. I thought of Jesus as I listened to the praise music and pictured His face. Then I started to draw. I tried to “get out of the way” and let my hand draw what I saw in my mind. I enjoyed watching it take shape. It’s amateurish, to say the least. And (here’s where I’m stepping out of my comfort zone) I’m sharing it with you here.

\n

I’m much better at painting a picture with words. I’m much better at making a quilt or stitching a sampler or knitting a pair of socks. I’m much better at making jewelry out of old silverware or antique maps. A long time ago, I tried my hand at writing and I listened to the wrong people. They told me my writing wasn’t publishable. That it really wasn’t good. And I believed that, so I stopped trying. This drawing of Jesus may not be very good…but nothing anyone ever says to me will ever make me stop trying again. No matter what it is I’m trying to do.

\n

It doesn’t matter what the end product looks like. It doesn’t matter if a piece of art is gallery worthy. It doesn’t matter if you can’t carry a tune in a washtub. It doesn’t matter if your words aren’t Pulitzer Prize material. What matters is one thing…does it give you joy? If it does…do that! Don’t worry about what others might think. Don’t worry about being judged. Just do what brings you joy!

\n

I’ll keep drawing. Who knows? My writing has improved over the years. Maybe the drawing will, too. But honestly? It’s a form of meditation for me…no matter how it looks. Be brave and stretch! ❤️

\n

““Now get up, Ezra. Take charge—we’re behind you. Don’t back down.””\n‭‭Ezra‬ ‭10:4‬ ‭MSG‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2018-01-04T02:30:08-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/01/04/on-being-brave.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Fun","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Wisdom","Humbled","Presence","Writing"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/01/03/surviving-the-climb.html", "title": "Surviving the Climb", "content_html": "\"Survive\n

Occasionally I get a comment on my blog from someone so fresh on this grief journey that they are lost. They don’t know where to turn or what to do next. They are obviously in a great deal of pain and my heart breaks for them because…I know. I’ve been there. Many of us have. I respond to every single comment on my blog. Most often it’s with a ❤️, just to let you know I have seen your comment. Occasionally, I write something back. On this particular occasion, I wrote a whole essay as my response. After giving it some thought, I decided it was time again to revisit “How do you survive this?”

\n

My reader lost her husband unexpectedly in early November. He was minding his own business, driving to work, when he was struck head-on by an impaired driver and was killed. Her world was shattered. The future she had planned with her husband was gone. To add insult to injury, her husband’s death was followed in rapid succession by Thanksgiving, his birthday, an important graduation, Christmas, and New Years. All without him. Her question? How do you cope with this?

\n

Here is my response:

\n

First, let me tell you my heart is with you, dear one. You are SO fresh on this journey and it’s so difficult. Having all those firsts, one after another when the ink is hardly dry must be unbearable. I can’t tell you how to grieve because it’s such a personal thing. I can tell you how I dealt with things and hopefully it will help you as well. If you haven’t yet, do go to Marshmallow Ranch on Facebook and see if you can scroll back to the early days of my blog. You will find much more relatable material there. I started the blog in January 2013 as a way to promote jewelry I was making. Then Mr. Virgo died in March. That’s when the blog morphed into an online grief journal. I know that’s a lot of material to sort through, but it just might help.

\n

At your stage of this journey, let me say this…there is no rule book. But here’s a list of ways to cope.

\n
    \n
  1. \n

    Don’t let anyone say you should do it this way or you shouldn’t do it that way. Do it your way.

    \n
    2. \n
  2. \n

    You will make mistakes. Don’t be too hard on yourself when you do.

    \n
    3. \n
  3. \n

    Be careful…extra careful with your money.

    \n
    4. \n
  4. \n

    Get plenty of rest, eat right, and exercise as you can.

    \n
    5. \n
  5. \n

    Avoid drugs and alcohol…they are nothing but bandaids that put off the hurt. That goes for new relationships. I know, I know. I thought that was crazy too till I got involved with someone just five months after my beloved died. I just wanted the pain to go away but when I pulled that bandage off, dear God…it was worse.

    \n
    6. \n
  6. \n

    Feel your feelings. Cry when you need to. Laugh when you can.

    \n
    7. \n
  7. \n

    There’s an actual condition called grief brain. You can’t remember squat and it may be scary as the dickens. Don’t worry…it does get better in time. You never go back to baseline, but you do get better.

    \n
    8. \n
  8. \n

    You won’t be in this fog forever and eventually you will feel joy. Don’t feel guilty for that.

    \n
    9. \n
  9. \n

    I found the services of a grief counselor to be extremely helpful. I had PTSD from watching the CPR for hours so I had EMDR treatments which helped immensely.

    \n
    10. \n
\n

Remember…you don’t “get over” this…you get through it. But, you will never be the same. Let me repeat that…you will never be the same. Don’t even try to find the old you. She is gone. Once a pickle, always a pickle…you don’t get to go back to being a fresh little cucumber again. Whether you become a sour or sweet pickle is largely up to you. Do NOT give up hope of finding a good life, though. You can…and you will…with determination and perseverance.

\n

I realized early on that he died, I did not. I owed it to his memory to live…actually LIVE the days my husband was not given. Since we were looking at campers when he died, I went out and bought one and joined Sisters on the Fly…a women’s adventure group. I also belong to Girl Campers. These are all empowering groups that helped me become brave and strong.

\n

One last word of caution. It’s ok to mattress surf once in a while but don’t live there. Get up every day, splash water on your face, brush your teeth, and get dressed. Make your bed. You’re not as likely to climb back in it if it’s made. Scrub your kitchen sink. A clean sink sets the tone for the day in my book. Even if you just move from the bed to the couch…you’ve moved. Keep moving. One step, two steps. Eventually you will be able to take a deep breath again. (Oh, that’s also a thing. Physiologically, grief causes you to sigh a lot which makes you try to take deep breaths and it’s difficult. You almost feel like you can’t get a deep enough breath. Unless you are passing out or have chest pain or prolonged irregular heartbeat or cold, clammy sweat, its nothing to be worried about. Always ask your healthcare professional if you are concerned about your health. However…this sensation disappears after some time.)

\n

Tincture of time. That’s how I dealt with the loss of my husband. Move forward…and pray, a lot. You may not feel Him there, but God is with your every step. He holds you in the palm of His hand and He weeps for your pain. Let Him wrap His feathers around you and take your rest there. Come back here anytime you need some support. You may send me private messages at any time and I will get back to you as soon as I can. Prayers for comfort and strength, dear one. This is a club we didn’t ask to join. You will learn how to perform magic like tap dancing around that husband-sized hole in your heart without falling in…every…damn…time.

\n

Grief comes in waves. At first it knocks you down. Eventually you learn to expect the waves and you can lean in and keep your footing without drowning. It’s almost five years since my loss and I have built a new life. I have expanded my social circle and have learned many new skills. And…much to my amazement…I have found love again and it is so sweet and rich. Mostly because now I have a thorough understanding of just what I lost and how incredibly precious life and love are.

\n

We all know someone who suffers a loss. We don’t always know how to help or what to say. May I suggest bookmarking this page and share it when appropriate? Share it with everyone you know because someone knows someone who is hurting. Let’s make this the year we reach out to widows and widowers and offer them whatever comfort and support we can. ❤️

\n

“Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God.”\n‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭13:16‬ ‭ESV

\n", "date_published": "2018-01-03T02:30:36-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/01/03/surviving-the-climb.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Humbled","Presence","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/01/01/out-with-the-oldin-with.html", "title": "Out With the Old...In With the New!!!", "content_html": "\"Happy\n

I love when the calendar turns to a new year. The slate is wiped clean and you can start fresh…a great big do over. Never was this more impactful to me personally than January 1, 2014. It was the first New Year’s Day after losing Mr. Virgo. Somehow, I had it in my head that if I could just say “My husband died last year” it would somehow make the loss easier. It didn’t. Not by a long shot.

\n

I had, in my crazed grief-stricken brain, thought it would be a good idea to start dating someone…just five months after my sweet husband died. Holy Mother of God…what was I thinking??? In my defense…I wasn’t thinking. That first year…well, really the first two years…I wasn’t sane. Not in a conventional definition of the word anyway. I did some things right, but my thinking was just off. My decision making skills were lacking. Thank God time and lots of prayer and introspection have brought me to this new place…this new life.

\n

Now when I look at the New Year, I contemplate where I’ve been, what I’ve done, and formulate new goals. I don’t make resolutions. I’ve never kept a resolution in my life. But I do come up with a focus word. The word for 2017 was “Reach”. I think I lived up to that. I launched a new website. I spoke to several groups. I was interviewed on several podcasts and publications. I had a branded series developed for me called “Getting Bolder” on the Sisters on the Fly website. I continued to write an essay every day here. I traveled to Florida twice, the Outer Banks, Tennessee, and Colorado. I camped and/or had outings with the Girl Campers and Sisters on the Fly several times. I continued working on my social media platform to improve my chances of selling this book I’ve got basically written. And…I introduced you to Mr. FixIt. It’s been a really big year and I reached about as far as I could!

\n

So, now I need a new word for the new year. There are so many things I want to practice in the coming year. Patience. I am not a patient person. Compassion. I try, but I am not always successful practicing compassion with people who try my patience. Love. I want to feel my Heavenly Father’s love and involvement in everything I do so that I might feel that same love toward everyone…including those to whom I want to show compassion because they have tried my patience. You see where I’m going with this? You might think I’m going to choose the word “Patience” to meditate on this year, but you’d be wrong. I learned a long time ago not to pray for patience because when I do, God gives me every single little opportunity to practice it and I just don’t have it in me to be that challenged anymore. No, I have a different word in mind.

\n

My choice? Presence.

\n

If I am present in all I do, I am here to show up and do what is needed. If I am present…I feel God’s love. If I am present…I can actively choose to love others as Jesus loves me. If I feel God’s love, and actively choose to love others the way Jesus loves me, in every interaction I have…everything gets better. My relationships with family and friends are bound to improve. My interactions with others…even complete strangers…can only improve when I exemplify the kind of love Jesus has for me.

\n

How do you remain present in today’s hectic world? To achieve the kind of presence I am looking for, I need to start every day with a connection to the Source. I need to reach for His Word first…before Facebook. Before the news and weather. Even before Mr. FixIt. It doesn’t take much. Five minutes. Five minutes first thing every morning, before anything else, I will seek His face and feel His love for me. I will invite Him to come into my day…into my world…and walk with me. It’s no different than asking any other loved one to go for a walk with me. But the benefits are undeniably higher.

\n

That’s my word. Presence. Feel every moment. Focus on God’s love. Bring His Love and Light into every aspect of my life. I can’t help but shine! ❤️

\n

“After looking at the way things are on this earth, here’s what I’ve decided is the best way to live: Take care of yourself, have a good time, and make the most of whatever job you have for as long as God gives you life. And that’s about it. That’s the human lot. Yes, we should make the most of what God gives, both the bounty and the capacity to enjoy it, accepting what’s given and delighting in the work. It’s God’s gift! God deals out joy in the present, the now. It’s useless to brood over how long we might live.”\n‭‭Ecclesiastes‬ ‭5:18-20‬ ‭MSG‬‬

\n", "date_published": "2018-01-01T02:30:47-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/01/01/out-with-the-oldin-with.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Holiday","Wisdom","Presence"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/12/31/true-love-has-no-end.html", "title": "True Love Has No End", "content_html": "\"Couple\n

They weren’t much more than kids when they met. I remember the first time I met my cousin Tommy’s girlfriend, Suzy. I had such a crush on Tommy in his Navy whites. And Suzy was as sweet as they come. She’s been around as long as I can remember.

\n

I’ve told you about Tommy. He has mesothelioma. There is no cure. And up until the last few years, there really wasn’t much to even offer people in the way of treatment. But they did their homework and took Tommy to the doc who wrote the book on Meso and as a result, he has had two really good years he may not have had before.

\n

The treatments Tom has received are not without side effects. The toxic meds have all but killed his kidneys. They have exhausted treatment after treatment yet, thanks to generous donations and scientific breakthroughs, more and more treatments become available. Maybe someday, they will find a cure. Because…you know. Cancer sucks.

\n

Tommy faces his illness and death with a positive attitude and a great deal of courage. They haven’t been afraid to “start the conversation”. They talk about death and his design…how does he want his story to end when he gets to the last chapter. Suzy is brave and strong. Their love knows no bounds as they recently celebrated their 56th wedding anniversary.

\n

This year, Tommy wanted to give his “best girl” a gift that would knock her socks off. He wanted something so deeply meaningful that she would cherish it forever. Their daughter videotaped the moment for posterity. Suzy opened her gift ever so slowly. Indoor/outdoor slippers. (laughter) Then someone points out there’s something inside. Suzy looks closer and there it is…a small box tucked into one slipper.

\n

“You stinker,” she gently chided this man she’s known forever.

\n

She goes on to open the second gift when a puzzled look comes across her face. She turns to Tom and says, “For us?” She thought they were a matching set of rings. She looks again and finally can see…they are earrings. Someone off camera says…”Look at the ring.”

\n

Suzy is still puzzled then Tommy holds up his left hand and she can see he is no longer wearing his wedding band.

\n

“No!” she cried. “No! Not your ring!” You can see she is instantly devastated. Until Tommy bends toward her and shows her that he has had the date of their wedding engraved on the back. At this point, The enormity of this selfless gift suddenly hits Suzy and she puts her face in her hand and cries.

\n

This is a sweet, personal moment between two wonderful people who love each other without limits. No disease…no cancer…not even death will truly separate these two. I asked for permission to share their story here. For one reason, I love them both so much. Second, I wanted to stress the importance of having “the conversation”, and three…I wanted to give you an idea what to do with his/her ring. Earrings made from a ring that has been cut in half would make a wonderful remembrance.

\n

We don’t know the future. It’s not a matter of if, you know. It’s…when. We pray for a cure. We pray for new medicines. We pray for good quality of life. Time. We pray for time. Lots and lots. Oodles of time. We will love our loved ones like it’s our last day on earth…or theirs. And we will hold fast to the tokens of love like there’s no tomorrow. ❤️

\n

www.facebook.com/melissa.a…

\n

“Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”\n‭‭Philippians‬ ‭2:4‬ ‭ESV‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2017-12-31T02:30:44-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/12/31/true-love-has-no-end.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","West Virginia","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Humbled","Aging"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/12/30/let-me-entertain-you.html", "title": "Let Me Entertain You", "content_html": "\"Gluten\n

One of the all time BEST things about Mr. FixIt is this…he LOVES to have guests over as much as I do. I know it’s hart for you to believe but…I love to talk with people and learn about them and visit and tell stories. We had dinner guests three times this week. What a blessing it is to share a table with friends and family.

\n

We started with an appetizer of baked brie en croute with fig jam. It sounds like something complicated but it wasn’t. I bought it at Sam’s, baked it at 375 for 20 minutes. Done!

\n

Our dinner guests brought salad and I served it with hot rolls and an aioli of crushed herbs, salt, pepper, more of that wonderful Chardonnay Garlic infused olive oil drizzled over top, and a small pool of both Mango pulp and Blueberry vinegar. Yummmmm!

\n

For the main course, I roasted two chickens. I did something completely different. I stuffed them with whole garlic cloves, quartered onions, and wedges of lemon. I trussed them up with kitchen twine, rubbed the sling with Chardonnay Garlic Olive Oil and sprinkled them with fresh ground pepper, ground pink Himalayan salt, more garlic, rustic herbs, and crushed rosemary. I placed a parking rack in a roasting pan and baked them at 350 for a little over 2 hours. OMGosh! When I cut into that chicken and the aroma of lemon and garlic hit the air? Wowza! It was awesome.

\n

I accompanied the meal with fresh steamed broccoli with mashed potatoes and gravy (Sam’s ready made Yukon Gold Mashed Potatoes and Teay’s Valley Cream gravy made this part of the prep fast and easy.)

\n

Dessert was homemade Gluten Free Bread Pudding with a dollop of French Vanilla Ice Cream. It was pretty heavenly!

\n

Served with a Pinot Noir or my personal favorite, Fré dealcoholized wine, this was a meal fit for royalty. And it really wasn’t that difficult, or expensive, to throw together.

\n

Here’s the recipe for the dessert. Bon Appetit!

\n

Gluten Free Bread Pudding

\n

6-8 slices of stale gluten free bread, cubed\n4 eggs\n2 cups milk\n3 tablespoons Splenda blend brown sugar\n1/2 c. Stevia for baking\n1/2 tsp. Cinnamon\n1/4 tsp. Apple Pie Spice\n1 tsp Vanilla\n1/2 tsp salt\n3-4 big handfuls of raisins\nAbout 2/3 c. chopped pecan4 T. butter, melted

\n

Cube bread and place in prepared baking dish. In this case, I used an 8” iron skillet sprayed with Baker’s Joy.

\n

Add raisins and pecans.

\n

Mix the rest of the ingredients and pour over bread. Using a fork, press the cubed bread down into the egg mixture to moisten it thoroughly. Drizzle the melted butter over the top. Bake in a preheated 350 degree oven till the top begins to brown and the filling is springy to the touch. Serve warm with ice cream.

\n

❤️

\n

“Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me.”\n‭‭Revelation‬ ‭3:20‬ ‭ESV‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2017-12-30T02:30:39-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/12/30/let-me-entertain-you.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Fun","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/12/29/doing-the-right-thing.html", "title": "Doing the Right Thing", "content_html": "\"Writing\n

I love doTerra products. I especially love their LifePak vitamins and use them, along with a cannabis ointment to control the crippling plantar-palmar psoriasis I got after Mr. Virgo died. When I purchase these vitamins, I get reward points that I can redeem for free oils or other products. I didn’t realize just how many points I had until a couple of weeks ago. So, I had a grand time ordering bunches of stuff!

\n

I received a notice in the mail just before Christmas that my box had arrived but it wouldn’t fit in the mailbox. I’m not sure why they didn’t deliver it to the door. We were home and could have received it, but it was during the Christmas rush so I am sure the mail carrier was overwhelmed. I went to the Post Office Tuesday and picked up my package. It was like a late Christmas gift to myself!

\n

Yesterday, I received three more boxes. In those boxes were three bottles of shampoo and two more Copaiba oils. I looked back at the emailed order confirmation and I had only ordered one shampoo and one Copaiba, among other things. That is when I also noticed that I didn’t receive one of the items on the original order.

\n

I contacted customer service via the chat app on doTerra’s website. I spoke with Jakob and explained the situation. He said he would be happy to send out the missing item right away and email me a label to ship back the duplicate items. He offered to award me 10 bonus points for my inconvenience. In the course of the conversation, I told him I could have just kept the extras but that wouldn’t have been the honest thing to do. He came back and said he appreciated customers like me and he was going to add 20 bonus points instead of 10! That is free product in my mailbox…all for being nice.

\n

I began this blog five years ago. I have written an essay nearly every day, covering a wide range of topics from my grief at losing Mr. Virgo to camping in the wilderness of Colorado to living on the family farm. I’ve talked about childhood memories, recipes, farm cats, and family. I’ve touched on sensitive subjects like depression, anxiety, sexual abuse, and even came close to the third rail of politics…at least in the sense of trying to get along. I’ve talked about God and my faith and the importance of being good for goodness’ sake. In all that time, I can count on one hand the times I’ve had someone post something negative to me here. Do you know how rare that is in this business? The internet lets the bars down for rudeness because our interactions are not face-to-face. This emboldens some people to bring out the ugly side of humanity.

\n

I cannot tell you how much I appreciate you all…every single one of you. You meet me in this space and we have mutual respect and caring. There have been times when I have considered quitting. There have been times when it has become overwhelming and I have had trouble finding my voice. There are times when I feel perhaps I have said everything there is to say. It got better when I reached the point that I could lay down the burden of my grief and I realized I didn’t have to talk, or write, about it all the time. And, every time I’ve thought of stopping, I get feedback from you. Someone says, “You were speaking to me today.” or “This spoke to my heart this morning.” That’s when I realize…I’m not done. God is still using me to deliver the hope and encouragement only He can give. I ask Him for the words. He gives them to me freely. He will tell me if it’s time to quit.

\n

So, I’ll be here every morning as you have your cup of coffee, or every afternoon when you take a break, or every evening when you stop and catch up with what’s been going on with everyone. I pray you find hope and joy and peace here. I hope you see the goodness in my life comes straight from God and it brings you closer to Him. Your “likes” and your “shares” and your comments bring His word to a greater and greater audience. We all spread Light and Hope and Joy when we share Him with others.

\n

Thank you…for being here, for listening, for loving on me. Thank you for another year’s journey. Thank you for the many, many blessings you bring me. It is an honor to be invited into your hearts and lives every day and I do not take that lightly. Thank you for letting me be…well, ME! I am richly blessed. ❤️

\n

“The one who offers thanksgiving as his sacrifice glorifies me; to one who orders his way rightly I will show the salvation of God!"”\n‭‭Psalms‬ ‭50:23‬ ‭ESV‬‬

\n", "date_published": "2017-12-29T02:30:07-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/12/29/doing-the-right-thing.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/12/27/postholiday-blues-or-just-getting.html", "title": "Post-Holiday Blues or Just Getting Back to Normal?", "content_html": "\"Rain\n

Is it the “blues”? Feeling a little depressed after the holidays? Things have you out of sorts? Once the last cookie has been consumed, the last gift unwrapped, the last guest sent off…it can feel like such a let down. Add to that a total disregard for your previously fairly pristine diet and you could be in a sugar crash, gluten-induced, holiday frazzled funk.

\n

That’s where I found myself last night. We had dinner guests. My second cousin and his wife came over to celebrate their 36th wedding anniversary with us. I cooked all day…homemade spaghetti sauce, pasta, and apple dumplings for desert. I have been so super cautious for the last two years and have stayed away from gluten. I find I have more energy, my mood is stable, and my gut is much happier when I keep wheat and sugar out of my diet. Then…Christmas happened. A “just this once” became “that went ok, this won’t hurt” and before I knew it…I was OD-ing on a regular basis with bread, cookies, pie, cake. I knew I was playing with fire, but I couldn’t help myself.

\n

I’ve been craving spaghetti all month. The brownies didn’t kill me. The cookies didn’t present too much of an issue. How bad could spaghetti be? Ohhhh, I found out. Spaghetti is about as densely concentrated a source of gluten as you can get and my body finally stood its ground and said , “What the heck do you think you’re doing, lady?! Are you crazy???” My company hadn’t even left before I really began to feel ill…and blue.

\n

It felt like the blues of grief. And, that could be part of it, I’m sure. With the holidays come waves of grief. But I knew I had been pushing the envelope with my wheat and sugar consumption so I did some research. It turns out, according to a study reported in Psychology Today, gluten, wheat, and corn syrup solids can cause anxiety and depression in people with non-celiac gluten sensitivity. Bingo!

\n

When the holidays settle down, we actually return to our normal state and that can feel like the blues. We often feel the same sort of thing when we return to real life from a fabulous vacation. Add gluten sensitivity to the mix and it’s a sure recipe for feeling yucky. It’s time to start back on my clean and green diet again. I’ve never felt…or looked…better than I do when I’m eating right, exercising, drinking plenty of water, and getting enough rest. It’s more than a New Year’s Resolution. It’s a prescription for leading my best life and enjoying it. ❤️

\n

“For day and night your hand was heavy on me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer. Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord.” And you forgave the guilt of my sin.”\n‭‭Psalm‬ ‭32:4-5‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n", "date_published": "2017-12-27T02:30:21-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/12/27/postholiday-blues-or-just-getting.html", "tags": ["Faith","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Growth","New Ideas","Grace","God","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/12/24/santa-is-real.html", "title": "Santa IS Real", "content_html": "\"\"\n

He held three beautiful children on his lap that afternoon in the mall. Three shining faces, looking up at him in rapt attention, their eyes glittering in awe. He’d done this many times over the years…listening to the repeated requests for dolls, trucks, maybe a baby brother or sister once in awhile. It never got old with him. He was born to be Santa!

\n

As the children got up one by one and gave the jolly man a hug, they smiled into the camera for that “Christmas Card shot” and he sent them on their way with a candy cane and a wave. He looked around and saw the line had finally thinned and he could take a much needed break. That’s when he saw her.

\n

A woman stood alone, a fair distance away, but not so far that he missed her tears. Their eyes met and he held her gaze for a few moments.

\n

“What’s this?” he thought. “Something’s up.”

\n

The cocked his head to the side, and without looking away, he moved slightly to his left in the chair, and patted the seat beside him. The woman looked a little startled, as though she might turn and run. But, he softened his shoulders, softened his eyes, and patted again.

\n

The woman gripped the wad of Kleenex in her hand, took a deep breath, and moved cautiously forward. At first, she sat on the stool at his feet with her eyes cast down. She didn’t say a word. He bent forward and whispered.

\n

“Please, sit here. Come up here where I can talk to you.”

\n

The woman dutifully got up and moved to the seat beside him. He could tell she was visibly distraught and he didn’t want to rush her. There was no one in the line and the mall had hit the mid afternoon slump.

\n

The woman began to whisper and he had to lean in close to hear her.

\n

“I lost my husband.” she said. “I need a new heart.” At this point, she burst into tears. He put his arm around her. He pulled her close in to his side and whispered.

\n

“I am so sorry.” There wasn’t much more he could say to that.

\n

The woman struggled and managed to choke out the words. She had lost her husband to a sudden heart attack as they were standing in a travel trailer, picking out one to take them on adventures in retirement. And then he was just gone. She didn’t know how she was going to live without him. It broke his heart.

\n

After a while, the woman regained her composure and apologized.

\n

“Oh, I’m so sorry. I must look a fright!” she said.

\n

“You’re perfect.” he whispered as he handed her another Kleenex and they smiled at each other. She got up to leave.

\n

“Will you have your picture taken with me?” he asked.

\n

“Really? I’d love to.” she replied.

\n

As the “elf” handed her the photo, she looked at it and her lip quivered ever so slightly.

\n

“Thank you for stopping.” he said.

\n

“Thank you for being real.” she whispered back.

\n
\n

It’s been five Christmases since I met my Santa. Every year, I send him my letter, telling him what I’ve done this year…things I’ve accomplished, things I still need to do. And I thank him. For being so kind to a grieving widow suffering through her very first Christmas without her love. Santa writes back and tells me his life was forever changed that day and he is so happy to see me doing better every year.

\n

It’s going to be a big letter this year! I get to tell him about Mr. FixIt and how much bigger my family is now after adding 12 more people to it…including a new great granddaughter! I get to tell him about our travels and how we got to spend time with my Colorado family this year and how much I miss them at Christmas.

\n

I think I taught him a lot that year. I taught him just how difficult it is that first year without your love. The second was probably worse. At least, it was for me. If you are struggling with the loss of your loved one, do be gentle with yourself. This is such a fragile time of year. I’m here to say…with time, prayer, hard work, and perseverance, life can get better again. Joy cometh in the morning, the Bible says. And, it does.

\n

Oh, and just in case you’re wondering…Santa IS real. And…he is my friend. ❤️

\n

Dear Santa…

\n

“May the Lord repay you for what you have done. May you be richly rewarded by the Lord, the God of Israel, under whose wings you have come to take refuge.””\n‭‭Ruth‬ ‭2:12‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n

Love,

\n

Ginny

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2017-12-24T02:30:27-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/12/24/santa-is-real.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Peace","Holiday","Wisdom","Humbled","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/12/17/deportment-etiquette-useful-skills-or.html", "title": "Deportment \u0026 Etiquette: Useful Skills or Out-of-Date Sexism?", "content_html": "\"Deportment\n

Mr. FixIt and I went Christmas shopping yesterday. As much as I hate to go to Walmart, especially during the holiday shopping frenzy, we went looking for a specific item we weren’t finding elsewhere. When we arrived at the store, I excused myself to the ladies room.

\n

There was a bit of a line, as one might imagine with half the town out and about the weekend before Christmas. The woman in front of me had a full shopping cart of merchandise and a cell phone in her hand. She had the phone on speaker and it was ringing…unanswered. She turned to me and said, “Go ahead…I have to do this.”

\n

In the stall, I overheard the woman leaving a voice mail. I will paraphrase so as to leave the woman unidentifiable.

\n

“Listen, if you insist on hanging up on me in the middle of a conversation…I’ll tell you what. You’re in a nursing home. I just won’t come visit you anymore. How’s that?! Talk to you later, Mommy.”

\n

I was dumbfounded. Who does that? It’s Christmas, for crying out loud. It was more than just being rude to her mother…in a voicemail, mind you. It was being rude, out loud, in a public restroom, where anyone within several feet could overhear. I debated. How should I react? Should I say something? Make eye contact and show my disapproval? Breathe. Breathe. “God, show me what I should do.”

\n

I decided not to say anything. I do not know the whole story. I don’t know if this woman has an issue. Maybe she had a gun? These are the things you think of in 2017. I came out of the stall, made brief eye contact, and said a prayer. “Father God…protect this woman’s mother from the wrath of her child. And bring them both peace and understanding. May they know your love. Amen”

\n

When I was in school, we were taught deportment and etiquette. Every time I put on a coat, I can see the woman on the auditorium stage at Parkersburg High School.

\n

“Grasp the coat by the collar and pull it up and over your right shoulder as you slip your arm in the sleeve. Then, gently reach behind you and slip your left arm into its sleeve. Do NOT swing the coat over your head like a toreador!”

\n

We walked with books on our heads. We learned to sit gracefully without looking like a lumberjack. We learned grace and manners. Yes, please. No, thank you. Yes, ma’am. No, sir. May I? We learned which fork was for salad, which was for dinner and which was for dessert. We learned not to slurp our soup or our tea. We learned to stir the coffee in our cup without making a lot of noise. We learned manners.

\n

This was in the ‘60s and early ‘70s. In our senior year, girls were finally given permission to wear pants to school. And ever so slowly, deportment went out the window with our bras and pencil skirts and Peter Pan collars. There are certain aspects of our “training” that was decidedly sexist. After all, in many ways, we were really being taught how to catch a good man. Good girls acted in a certain way.

\n

This is the year of the woman…2017. Time’s “Person of the Year” is The Silence Breakers…the women of the #metoo movement. Women who have been the victims of sexual harassment, abuse, molestation, rape….many at the hands of powerful and influential men. But, are they really breaking their silence or just…finally, finally, finally being listened to…being heard? We’ve been telling. We’ve been talking. All along, we’ve been talking. And now, people are listening. Is it a perfect thing? No…it’s difficult and ugly and messy. And there are bound to be untruths told. But the majority…the vast majority of the stories told will be true. And far, far too familiar.

\n

Were we trained to be the victims of men? We were told it was better to be seen and not heard. We were taught to keep the peace, don’t rock the boat, be a “good girl”…no matter what. “Boys will be boys.” “Were you drinking?” “Well, look what she was wearing!” Instead, these brave women are saying, “Nothing…NOTHING gives anyone the right to abuse me in anyway. Period.”

\n

I texted my daughter, the high school teacher…my go-to resource when I want to understand the minds of today’s adolescent. I asked her if they teach deportment and manners anymore. She said nothing even remotely close to it. I asked if it was considered sexist. Was there a lack of funding? Was it outdated? Her answer was…outdated. They don’t call it “Home Economics” anymore. It’s “Food Science”, “Cooking”, “Catering”, “Fashion”…all under the title of “Career Technical Education classes.

\n

Ok, I get it. To tell a girl she has to learn to walk straight and tall, to walk in heels, to put her coat on a certain way, may be considered sexist. Especially if young men aren’t being taught the same thing. I get all that. My problem is manners. Common, everyday decency that tells one it isn’t polite to stand in a bathroom at Walmart and threaten your elderly mother who is living in a nursing home. Threatening to stop visiting her if she hangs up on you again. I don’t get that.

\n

There are parents who do a beautiful job raising polite, functional, lovable children who use impeccable manners and they do it without shaming or beating them. I know many of them. But there are so many more who leave it up to an overtaxed educational system to teach their children how to be decent human beings.

\n

I don’t know the answer. Are there any “Emily Posts” left in the world? How do we teach the youth of today that manners are still important? How do we teach respect? I cannot believe that deportment is outdated entirely. It’s not that I am an old fuddy-duddy. I just want the best for our bright and shining future. ❤️

\n

“And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.”\n‭‭Luke‬ ‭6:31‬ ‭ESV‬‬

\n", "date_published": "2017-12-17T02:30:11-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/12/17/deportment-etiquette-useful-skills-or.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Growth","Grace","Peace","Wisdom","Humbled","Peaceful Moments"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/12/16/things-that-make-me-smile.html", "title": "Things That Make Me Smile", "content_html": "\"Retro\n

These dishes! Man, do these take me back. When I lived at home, I set the table every night with these dishes for as far back as I can remember. I know the Golden Wheat pattern by Homer Laughlin came from boxes of Duz Detergent. The green pattern was also from Homer Laughlin and was called Pastoral. It came in boxes of Mother’s Oats. Mom would get gas every couple of days so she could get glasses from the service stations. And the only “china” she ever owned came from the Kroger Store. I had a set as well. I had some white teacups with a gold rim on them that came from my grandma. She saved them and kept them nice to use at her and Pop-Pop’s Golden 50th, but he passed away two months before their anniversary. I can’t remember but I might have given them to my cousin so she would have some precious family keepsakes.

\n\"Retro\n\"Mother’s\n

As you probably experienced in your home, it was difficult to get an entire set of dishes of one type before they went on with a new pattern, so our dinner tables were often set with a mish mosh of mismatched dishes and glasses. There were often hand-me-downs and “heirlooms” mixed it. And then, of course, there was Melmac and Melamine. Those came in handy when there were active kids in the family.

\n\"Retro\n

Mom bought her first real set of new dishes when she came to visit me when I lived in England. We went to market in Newbury twice a week. There were vendors there selling everything from yard goods to blood pudding. Don’t ask. It’s gross. Anyway, mom bought what I thought were the ugliest dishes ever made but she adored them. They were brown (the first strike against them) and had a bold black and white geometric pattern around the edges. I know, they don’t SOUND that bad, but trust me…they were awful. I bought a dainty rose patterned tea set. I was predictable. Mom was the maverick. She may not have had much, but she’d gladly share whatever she had.

\n\"\"\n

This has been wonderful trip down memory lane this month. I guess it’s the holidays and missing loved ones that has be looking back with such fondness. I hope you’ve been enjoying taking a break from the news and the hectic hubbub that surrounds holiday celebrations. I’ll see what else I can come up with from the memory banks. ❤️

\n\"Retro\n

““Come, everyone who thirsts, come to the waters; and he who has no money, come, buy and eat! Come, buy wine and milk without money and without price.”\n‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭55:1‬ ‭ESV‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2017-12-16T02:30:58-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/12/16/things-that-make-me-smile.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Strong Women","Fun","West Virginia","Gratitude","Love","Peace"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/12/14/lets-take-a-ride-on.html", "title": "Let’s Take a Ride on the Brain Train", "content_html": "\"The\n

In the early ‘80s, Hubby #2 was just finishing medical school and was about to start his internship and residency. I was working for a four-doctor Internal Medicine clinic as a Diabetes Educator. The wife of one of the doctors I worked for was writing a book about a kind of water exercise called “Flugel Fitness”. She contracted me to illustrate the instruction manual. In the process of working with her, we had lots of conversations about health and wellness. She had a workout studio and I started some weight loss classes for her. I remember having a conversation with her about my situational anxiety surrounding public speaking and she recommended a book by Shakti Gawain called Creative Visualization. I loved that book and read it many times and it did help.

\n

Creative visualization and guided imagery are sort of like meditation. One image helped me feel grounded. I sat in the lotus position and imagined a lightning rod going from the top of my head, down my spine, and sinking deep within the earth. I pictured energy drawing up from the earth and showering out the top of my head and raining down over me. It was all very New Agey.

\n

At this same time, Daughter #1 was about nine or ten years old. She loved for me to tell her stories at bedtime. Reading Shakti’s book gave me an idea. I wanted to see if creative visualization would work to help an active child settle down and fall asleep more easily. So, I created the Brain Train. We went on lots of “trips” on the Brain Train as I described intricate scenarios. It worked beautifully! She would relax and fall asleep much quicker with this type of guided imagery.

\n

I decided to write a children’s book. I made it like a dry erase book with basic background images. The child uses a marker to draw in what they “see” as they ride the Brain Train through the countryside. It was a fun idea and Daughter #1 loved it. I submitted it to dozens of publishers and received dozens of rejections. Then, about a year later, creative visualization for children took off and there were books similar to mine everywhere. I figure I was just too far ahead of my time, right?

\n

When Daughter #2 came along, she had many of the same anxiety issues I’ve struggled with. One day we were looking through some things and she saw the prototype book that I sent to publishers. I told her all about the Brain Train and we started using creative visualization to help her cope with stress. She loved it as much as her older sister.

\n

I don’t get to talk to the girls as often as I’d like these days. They are busy with their lives. But, yesterday I got to talk with Daughter #2 for a lovely, long conversation. The subject of The Brain Train came up and she told me what an important tool that had been for her and how she still uses creative visualization. She said, “Mom, I still have the painting you did for me. It’s hanging in my bedroom.” She sent me this picture. It brings back so many memories of my girls when they were little. Tucking them into bed…warm from a bath, hair still damp, tummies full of milk and cookies. We would hop onboard the Brain Train and soon found ourselves riding through mountains or along the ocean or through a forest. We saw animals of all sizes and colors. Blue elephants, pink giraffes, polka dot monkeys. We crossed bridges and went through long dark tunnels and soon they relaxed and I heard the familiar deep, even breathing of sleep.

\n

What a gift that was…to learn something I did for them…something I really haven’t thought of in ages…had such an impact. It made me feel like I felt when I held them on my lap, brushing their hair from their foreheads, kissing the top of their heads. It made me feel like a mom. I mean…once a mom, always a mom, right? I mean like a real, active, momming mom. It gave me the feels. ❤️

\n

“Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.”\n‭‭Psalms‬ ‭19:14‬ ‭ESV‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2017-12-14T02:30:54-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/12/14/lets-take-a-ride-on.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Fun","West Virginia","Growth","New Ideas","Love","Peace","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/12/12/change.html", "title": "Change", "content_html": "\"WV\n

One of the hardest things to deal with since losing Mr. Virgo is…change. And of course, that is the one thing you can absolutely count on in this life. Change. Things change. People change. Situations change. And, unfortunately…places change.

\n

I have to tell you, sometimes you have no way of knowing what God has up His sleeve when He leads you down a certain path. Why this way and not that? Sometimes we never figure it out. Other times, it becomes crystal clear. I love those times. Even when they break my heart.

\n

When I first came to West Virginia, it was just a year and a half after losing Mr. Virgo. I lived on the family farm but only for a few weeks. When my aunt decided she really didn’t want help, I went off on my own for a couple years. I never dreamed I’d have the opportunity to come back and be the caretaker of the home of my heart. When my uncle asked me to take care of the place for him, I jumped at the chance.

\n

I know God has a reason behind every move. There was a plan before I was born. I hadn’t really thought about why I got to live at the farm again. Until yesterday. Mr. FixIt and I have noticed a lot of heavy dump trucks going up the road lately. We heard this summer that they’re putting in a compressor station back beyond the farm so we surmised the work had begun. When we got there yesterday, I drove past the farm and went up the back road. It wasn’t long till we saw the signs. “Road Work Ahead” and “Flagger: Prepare to Stop”.

\n

It’s funny. You hear change is coming. You see what other places look like when they change. Yet, you’re completely unprepared when the change comes and it affects your world. I’m a go-with-the-flow kinda gal, but when I saw them cutting into MY earth, MY world, my HEART…it crushed me. I motioned for the flagger to come over. I asked for details. “What are they doing there?” “How far back are they going?” “How long will this take?” He was a young man. Respectful. He seemed to understand this was hurtful to me. He explained carefully what steps they were taking. I sat and stared till the tears stung my eyes then I had to go.

\n

I remember when they clear cut the back of the farm. I felt like this. But, trees grow back. This is a permanent scar that will never heal. As I sat and watched the big dump trucks back out the ridge to be filled with MY earth, the Holy Spirit whispered to my heart.

\n

“This is why you were given this time on the farm. You are here to memorize every inch of the place. You are here to document the passage. You are here to be a witness.”

\n

Change is inevitable. I know that. I’m doing better with change. I don’t like it. And I especially don’t like them messing with the home of my heart. But, I’m also a realist. I’m pragmatic. There is now going to be a paved road out to the back of this ridge. There will be easier access to the workable land and that will improve the value of the farm. That’s the upside. There’s going to be a lot of sound pollution, increased traffic, as well as some environmental risks. That’s the downside.

\n

I’ve always known my time on the farm is limited. I’ll still be taking care of it for the foreseeable future. And I’ll be saying goodbye to what it once was…one truckload of dirt at a time. ❤️

\n

“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:”\n‭‭Ecclesiastes‬ ‭3:1‬ ‭ESV‬‬

\n", "date_published": "2017-12-12T02:30:30-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/12/12/change.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","West Virginia","The Farm","Growth","New Ideas","Grace","God","Wisdom","Humbled","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/12/10/its-that-time-of-year.html", "title": "It’s That Time of Year", "content_html": "\"Snowy\n

I visit this topic every year. There’s always a big hullaballoo every year about what to say when greeting others around the holidays. It seems like there are just WAY too many perceived offenses surrounding this subject. There are those offended by “Happy Holidays” or “Season’s Greetings”. There are some who are not necessarily offended by “Merry Christmas” but who wish to be more inclusive. Sometimes the debate gets heated and we forget what the whole thing is all about in the first place. Love. The kind of love that transcends all other love.

\n

While I was not born Jewish, I lived as a Jew for 27 years. I became Jewish for a number of reasons, but it was NOT to convert because of a marriage. I married a Jewish man, but I considered myself Jewish before I met him. When he joined a medical practice in a small town on the western slope of Colorado, we were faced with a bit of a dilemma. Everything was strictly “Merry Christmas”. Which is fine. I have no problem with that. The Christmas program included Hanukkah songs, which was great. But, it was Hanukkah songs without acknowledging Hanukkah, per se. The other children in the school weren’t taught there was anything else BUT Christmas. They thought Hanukkah was the Jewish Christmas, and it isn’t. It doesn’t have anything to do with Christmas. And, being a stickler for education, I wanted the children to learn about all the winter holidays. I wanted all the children to be included and celebrated. And to do that, it couldn’t just be about ONE holiday…as if that were the only one.

\n

I joined an ad hoc committee on religious sensitivity in the schools. We added books about other winter festivals and holidays to the school and public libraries. We asked for the program to be called the Winter Celebration. We were met with incredible resistance. The mayor of the little town was a former priest. He took great offense at our request. To the point that he hung a banner over the Main Street of town accusing the “heathens of trying to take Christmas away from our kids”. Personally, I really loved that man. He was kind, generous, and worked very hard for our town. He got our local representative involved. It was a real mess. We met with them. We communicated. We pleaded for our children to be included. And, as time passed…they were. We weren’t trying to take anything away from other children. We were trying to expand the scope of the holidays to embrace all children.

\n

I don’t feel any holiday should be diluted. Every faith has its own place in this melting pot of a country. Religious freedom is what this country was founded on. I am a great proponent of inclusivity. In the years since, I have become a Christian. My faith is very important to me. But, I have a memory. And my little girl was ostracized by her peers. She was…to her face…called a “stupid effing Jew” and that is totally unacceptable.

\n

So, here’s my bottom line. I do not care if you say Merry Christmas. I didn’t care when I was Jewish if you said Merry Christmas to me. You were being kind and wishing me well. What’s not to love about that? I, however, will more than likely say “Happy Holidays” to you unless I know for certain that you celebrate Christmas. Because, I am not clairvoyant. Unless you are wearing a Santa suit or elf ears, I’m not going to assume who or what you are. I will respect your human-ness. With a heartfelt holiday greeting.

\n

I love Christmas. And, I love Hanukkah. I am not familiar with Kwanza, but I love that there is such a holiday. For me personally, I love the story of the Nativity, of the birth of the Christ Child. And, I love all of you. I hope this season is full of love, no matter what your faith…or lack thereof. This is a dark time of year, and a dark time of the world in many ways. We all need all the Love and Light we can get…and not just in December! ❤️

\n

“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end;”\n‭‭Lamentations‬ ‭3:22‬ ‭ESV‬‬

\n", "date_published": "2017-12-10T02:30:37-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/12/10/its-that-time-of-year.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Holiday","Wisdom","Forgiveness"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/12/09/its-ok-to-sayno.html", "title": "It’s Ok to Say...No!", "content_html": "\"Background\"\n

The first year of widowhood, absolutely everything was totally overwhelming. I cried my way through the grocery story. I was filled with angst over making decisions as small as getting my hair cut while I easily went out on a three month trip in my little camper. Work was difficult and I made mistakes. I sat through family holidays literally biting the insides of my cheeks to keep from screaming. It was so hard.

\n

The second year wasn’t much better for me. Worse, in many ways. Mainly because now I was awake and aware and he was still gone. This, however, was the year I learned to say no. In the tiniest of ways. When I felt overwhelmed during the holiday celebrations, I left the room for a break. And no one made a fuss. No one got mad. No one had a hissy fit. As a matter of fact, I’m not really sure they noticed. And that emboldened me to try saying no more often.

\n

This is the fifth Christmas without Mr. Virgo. You would think after this long, and having a new love in my life, I’d have a handle on this whole grief thing, wouldn’t you? But, I don’t always. Take the last month, for instance. My stress level went through the roof. Mr. FixIt and I started fixing up his house. We had his family over for Thanksgiving. I’m just getting to know them and I really want things to be good. We traveled to see some of my relatives over Thanksgiving. Mr. FixIt traveled and I took care of two homes, five cats, cleaning, decorating and rearranging. Then we had pre-op visits and his surgery. I had a huge change in my health insurance and my bill went up. Not something I planned for. I need new brakes on my truck.

\n

I always go see the kids and grands in Colorado at Christmas. I kept putting off buying my tickets because I didn’t know how this surgery would affect Mr. FixIt. I didn’t know how long it would be till he could drive, cook, even dress himself. Everything piled up and my anxiety was through the roof. Finally, I had a talk with my daughter. I explained my situation and before I could even finish, she said, “Mom, it’s ok. You’ve got a lot on your plate and you have to do what you have to do. The kids are big enough now to understand adult stuff happens and things don’t always work out the way you planned. Don’t worry about it…it’s fine. Really.” And…just like that…the weight fell off my shoulders. I hadn’t even realized how tense I’ve been till I let go of that and sighed.

\n

As it turns out, it’s absolutely the right decision. Mr. FixIt’s surgery went well, but there are things we hadn’t thought of that he can’t do alone. Opening his pill bottles. Washing the dishes. Showering and dressing. I know this man. If I’m not watching, he’ll be trying to do things he should NOT be doing. I told my friend, Gail, I wasn’t going to Colorado. She said, “Family is important. But so are new relationships.”

\n

It’s ok to say no. It’s ok to acknowledge your limits. It’s ok to take care of yourself and not feel guilty. It’s ok not to be the perfect mother, grandmother, lover, friend, wife, sister, colleague. It’s ok to not go to that party. It’s ok to turn down that invitation to the ornament exchange party. It’s ok to back out of something you thought you could do, but when the tie came to do it it just felt too overwhelming. It’s ok. It’s ok. It’s ok.

\n

Yesterday Mr. Fixit and I hung out at the house all day in our jammies. We watched movies. We ate good food. I made homemade vegetable beef soup and hot rolls. We didn’t do a darned thing and that was ok. My stress level dropped exponentially after the surgery was over and I knew I didn’t have to scrape together enough money for a plane ticket in a week or two.

\n

The lesson learned here is…there’s really not much that you absolutely HAVE to do surrounding holidays. We have such great expectations and they seldom pan out the way we imagine them anyway. So, why not just give yourself a break and stop trying to create the perfect holiday? Try these things instead…

\n

Practice saying no once in a while.

\n

Make a cup of tea.

\n

Breathe.

\n

Eat a chocolate.

\n

Read a magazine.

\n

Go for a walk.

\n

Take a nap.

\n

Send a card.

\n

Watch your favorite movie.

\n

Take a bubble bath.

\n

Light candles in the evening.

\n

Call a friend.

\n

Draw a picture.

\n

Knit.

\n

Bake cookies.

\n

Watch the snow fall.

\n

Go for a drive.

\n

Donate to charity.

\n

Listen to music.

\n

Get a massage.

\n

Pray.

\n

Self care. It’s not selfish. It doesn’t have to be expensive. Reduce your holiday expectations. Just say…”No…no, thank you. I’d love to another time. Thank you so much for asking but I’m stretched so thin right now, I need to practice some self care.” Be honest. Tell the truth. Just. Say. No.

\n

“Beloved, I pray that all may go well with you and that you may be in good health, as it goes well with your soul.”\n‭‭3 John‬ ‭1:2‬ ‭ESV‬‬

\n", "date_published": "2017-12-09T02:30:49-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/12/09/its-ok-to-sayno.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Holiday","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/12/05/he-loves-melike-that.html", "title": "He Loves Me...”Like That”", "content_html": "\"Man\n

It was December 4th, 2013. It had been 267 days since the love of my life died right in front of me. It was 267 largely sleepless nights. I had made myself put one foot in front of the other…day after miserable, lonely day…for 2-6-7 long $&@#%€* days. I was tired. I was broken. But I was trying.

\n

On this day, I went to work. It was normally an hour commute each way, but on this particular day, the skies opened up and snow started falling at an alarming rate. The further west I drove heading home, the deeper the snow became. When I finally pulled up in front of my house, there was nearly 18” of heavy, wet snow in my driveway. I slogged up the drive and got my snow shovel out. You know…the one with MY name on it…not Mr. Virgo’s. He was gone. Two-hundred-sixty-seven days of…gone.

\n

I shoveled for what seemed like hours. I was numb…physically and emotionally. I could hardly make a dent in the snow removal. I barely got my car in off the street when I gave up and went inside. I marched straight to our…MY…bedroom. I stood in front of the picture of Mr. Virgo and yelled at him. I screamed. I cried. I ranted and raved. He had a lot of nerve leaving me like this…with this house and this mess and this…LIFE! I didn’t ask for this. I didn’t want this. I was just so $&@# tired. I didn’t care if I lived or died, to be perfectly honest.

\n

That was a particularly dark and dreadful season in my life. There were a lot of people who helped me through that. I had support from those who loved me and from complete strangers in several widow’s support groups on Facebook. I’m only active in a couple of them now. I see myself there now as a symbol of hope, having survived the worst of it.

\n

The other day, one of the women in the group said “No one will ever love me like that again”. I couldn’t let her go on thinking that…believing that. I know early on…I couldn’t imagine loving again. If for no other reason than I was sure another loss like that would surely kill me. Then time passed, wounds scarred over, and color started to filter back into my life. I started to think…maybe I COULD do this again. I prayed a lot about it and asked God to place a worthy man right in front of me. And…He did.

\n

I wanted this woman to know…your heart can beat again. You can open it up. You can give and receive love. It’s been almost five years since my world fell apart. And, while this man is so different than my late husband, he loves me “like that”. I feel the same joy true love brings. I feel the same hope, warmth, trust. This one is far more passionate…partially because I’m acutely aware of what I lost and I find this so precious. Which brings me to the biggest difference. Fear. When my husband was alive and I used to have the fleeting thought…”What if he died?” I had absolutely zero understanding of what devastation that loss would bring. Now, I know exactly what that loss brought to me. I still don’t know what losing this man would be like, but I have a $&@# good idea. I try to keep the wolves at bay and live in the moment, but they’re always howling in the woods somewhere.

\n

God did not create in us a spirit of fear but a spirit of power and love and self-control. 2 Timothy 1:7 is one of my go-to verses when I’m feeling weak and out of control. Mr. FixIt is having some reconstruction surgery on his hand Thursday. Even though I worked most of my career in medicine and was married to a physician for two decades, since losing Mr. Virgo,  I don’t handle medical situations very well…especially when it involves someone I love. I read 2 Timothy, and asked a friend to come join me at the hospital for coffee and a chance to catch up. I know it’s not a huge invasive surgery, but I know things can happen. This man loves me…”like that”. I will do my very best to support him in whatever comes our way because…I love him “like that”, too. ❤️

\n

“for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.”\n‭‭2 Timothy‬ ‭1:7‬ ‭ESV‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2017-12-05T02:30:03-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/12/05/he-loves-melike-that.html", "tags": ["Faith","Colorado","Family","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Humbled","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/12/02/more-christmas-memories.html", "title": "MORE Christmas Memories", "content_html": "\"Ceramic\n

I have been on such a nostalgia kick lately! Here’s one I know you all will remember and you probably had (still have!) one of these bad boys. My mom had one that she made in a ceramics class. As a matter of fact, I think I might have made one somewhere along the way. I seem to remember painting on the glaze that puffed up like snow and gluing the little ornaments in the holes. Wow…that’s like opening the top of your head and reaching WAY back in the memory banks!

\n

Mom got to the point where this was the extent of her holiday decorating. When Christmas was over, she dusted off the “tree”, put a dry cleaning bag over it, and took it back upstairs to the attic till the next year. I found it up there after she died. It’s one of the things I saved when I cleared out her house. And, unfortunately, it’s one of the only things that broke during one of my many moves over the years. It made me so sad.

\n

I was rummaging around in the upstairs of the cellar house the other day and ran across one of these in a box up there. I need to get it out and set it up on the dining room table. My aunt used to put it out when she lived there.

\n

I was wandering around the mall yesterday and was thinking of more things we used to get at Christmas. Remember those round bath oil beads? They were jewel-toned, came in about four or five scents, and often were in a tube with a plastic crook on the end to look like a candy cane. You put on in your bath and the hot water would melt the gelatin bead and the oil would come out into the water. Only, who could resist picking it up and playing with it till it completely dissolved???

\n

How about the Easy Bake Oven??? OMGosh! Do you remember how horrible that stuff tasted??? Yet, we ate it! There was Chatty Cathy, Betsy Wetsy, Tiny Tears. I always wanted one but never got one. I did get the bride doll that was as tall as me! And I had a Barbie. My Aunt Marge once traded eggs for a Barbie Doll dress that the neighbor made. I knew that was a big deal for her to do that and I took extra special care of that dress.

\n

How about the socks with the toes in them? Or games like Operation or Chutes and Ladders or Candyland. I remember getting a set of Old Maid cards once.

\n

One year, money must have been really tight. Mom ordered our Christmas presents from a catalog and they didn’t come in time for Christmas. So on Christmas morning, mom gave us each an envelope with the pictures of what we were going to get when the box arrived. But then, when the box did come, Dad found out Mom had charged the items so he made her send them all back. We were so disappointed and to this day, it makes my heart ache for her. She had to have felt horrible that we didn’t get a Christmas.

\n

We moved into the house we grew up in over Christmas break when I was in second grade. The house and furnishings were our Christmas that year. I remember my Grandmother bought me a bedroom set. It was grey, very modern. It had a twin bed and a dresser that had a drop\nFront that turned into a desk. Grandmother made curtains out of pink fabric with grey poodles on them. There was an old TV console in my bedroom and for some reason, she made a cover for that as well. I even had a black metal trash can with a poodle on it! My brothers room was decorated with a Cincinnati Reds theme. That was a grand Christmas!

\n

I remember when I got old enough to babysit, I would go downtown to Kresge’s and buy Mom a little bottle of Evening in Paris perfume or a chiffon scarf. She always acted as though that was the finest gift a mother could have wished for and it made me so proud. I loved wrapping the presents. As a matter of fact…when we got old enough, she would put our gifts in boxes and I’d wrap my own presents! I wrapped everyone’s presents. It took all day on a Saturday. I’d sit on the floor in front of the TV and use up all the bows and the stickers and the gift tags and have a big time. Then I’d pile everything under the tree. We didn’t have a lot. But we had enough. ❤️

\n

““Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.”\n‭‭Exodus‬ ‭20:12‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n", "date_published": "2017-12-02T02:30:56-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/12/02/more-christmas-memories.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Fun","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Peace","Holiday","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Humbled"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/12/01/johnny-and-punkin-spice.html", "title": "Johnny and Punkin Spice", "content_html": "\"Dog\n

I have this friend. She’s one of those wonderful shining stars that God places on this earth to be a guardian of animals. I am convinced she is an “angel unawares”. I met Aimee through a high school friend. They were talking at a conference once and Aimee told her about this great group of women campers she belonged to called…Sisters on the Fly. Diane couldn’t wait to hook us up. And I am so glad she did. I don’t get to spend nearly enough time with Aimee. As a matter of fact, I believe we have only seen each other in person two or three times. But it’s always “old home week” when we greet each other like long lost friends.

\n

Not only are Aimee and I “Sisters”…we are also fellow West Virginians. And darned proud of it, I might say. Aimee works for the state and created the COOLEST soil trailer. It’s a cargo trailer that she converted on the inside to give you a “worm’s eye view” of what it looks like in the ground. So, she’s an animal activist, she hauls a soil trailer all over the state to teach kids about the earth, she’s a Sister on the Fly, and a farmer, and she creates beautiful art pieces that she sells at some of the big decorator barn sales. On top of that, she’s beautiful, funny, and I just love her to pieces. Because she saved Johnny’s life.

\n

Johnny was a rescue. Terribly ill, he was essentially a lost cause. The vet didn’t think he could possibly live. But Aimee found out about him (I think she’s on speed dial at the animal rescue) and scooped him up. She sat up with Johnny for days, snuggling him in blankets, taking him in for infusions and tests practically every day. He kept getting sicker and sicker. He was a rescue…but he had wriggled into her heart and she couldn’t give up on him. One night, they made a desperate trip to see the vets at the university in Columbus. It took a while, but they finally diagnosed Johnny with a rare disease that affects his joints. If they could just get him through, things would get better for him and he would live a pretty normal life. But there were no guarantees. They pleaded and prayed and now…look at him! He’s so beautiful. All of us fell madly in love with him and Aimee is great at recording his life for his fan base.

\n

This fall, Aimee was driving down the street in her truck when she saw something very tiny in the road. It was a kitten! And there was a man in a truck alongside the road. The kitten was trying desperately to get in the truck but the man just sat and stared at it. Without thinking, Aimee jumped out, stopped traffic, scooped up the kitten, and ran back across the busy highway. She yelled at the man. “Didn’t you see that kitten?” He just shrugged. “I don’t know anything about that.” Oh, he knew alright! He had more than likely dumped that baby right before Aimee drove by. God puts angels right where he needs them, doesn’t He?

\n

This little kitten went to work with Aimee every day as she fostered it. She socialized her and made sure she had all her shots and took extra special care of her in hopes she would forget all about the bad man in the truck. What sent us over the moon was how much Johnny loved his kitty. HIS kitty. Oh…how Johnny LOVES kitties! He would cry and cry until Aimee gave him the kitten. Then she had to sit with him and tell him over and over…”Easy, Johnny. You have to be gentle. Easy. Easy.” Johnny knew, the only way he could have his baby was if he laid down very still…then Aimee would place this tiny little fur ball under this big boxer boy. He laid so still…but his tail pounded the bed like a drum.

\n

Eventually, the kitty found her way to a forever home with a boy to play with. We were all SO worried about Johnny. How would he handle losing his baby? Aimee posted pictures of Johnny with his other kitties. His mommy knows when she has reached the number of animals she can responsibly care for. She did the right thing. And she knows Johnny better than any of us. She knew he would be fine. It’s as if Johnny knew he was only a temporary caregiver for this little baby.

\n

We can learn so much from Johnny. Patience, kindness, caring…unconditional love. He doesn’t care that the kitten isn’t like him. All he knows is…here is someone who needs love and he has love to give.

\n

You never know what kind of stray Aimee will attract next. Right now she is fostering a dog with cancer who is legitimately psychotic. They are trying to figure out how to help her. If anyone can, it’s our divine farm girl…the Dirt Queen. Thank you, Aimee…for having such a huge heart. You are so loved and there are many stars in your crown. ❤️

\n

““But ask the animals, and they will teach you, or the birds in the sky, and they will tell you; or speak to the earth, and it will teach you, or let the fish in the sea inform you. Which of all these does not know that the hand of the Lord has done this? In his hand is the life of every creature and the breath of all mankind. Does not the ear test words as the tongue tastes food? Is not wisdom found among the aged? Does not long life bring understanding?”\n‭‭Job‬ ‭12:7-12‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2017-12-01T02:30:37-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/12/01/johnny-and-punkin-spice.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Sisters on the Fly","Positive Energy","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Peace","Humbled"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/11/29/the-shift.html", "title": "The Shift", "content_html": "\"Christmas\n

The earth shifted yesterday. Did you feel it? I did. Mr. FixIt is about halfway through his guy getaway to Florida with his buddy and I’ve been staying at his house…feeding cats, cleaning, decorating, rearranging. It’s been great fun.

\n

For those of you who have been following from the beginning, I downsized and got rid of ninety-five percent of my personal belongings when I sold my house in 2014. I brought those things to West Virginia that I could not part with. A friend has been so kind as to let me store them in his basement all this time. I went over a couple of weeks ago and brought a whole truckload over to Mr. FixIt’s house. The Christmas decorations were all put out so yesterday, I got into the boxes of decorator items. A pink Fenton hurricane lamp, an antique cast iron rabbit doorstop, some quilts, my raven decoy, a sign that says “Kindness Matters”…these found themselves mingled with Mr. FixIt’s memories. Looking at the finished project, they could have all been purchased together for just the same house

\n

I went back into the storage room and lugged the heaviest box to the kitchen. This is where I felt the shift. Do you sense what’s happening here? I’m nesting. The lines of “yours” and “mine” are blurring. Nowhere did I feel this as much as when I opened that heavy box. It was filled with china. Precious cargo that has been carted from one side of the country to the other…never seeing the light of day.

\n

One winter day, what seems like a lifetime ago, Mr. Virgo and I were shopping for a tablecloth. When I caught up with him, he was standing in front of a display of china. He was studying something intently so I followed his gaze. When I saw what he was looking at, I gasped out loud. Royal Doulton’s “Tennyson”. I’ve never seen anything so beautiful. And, six months later, I got eight place settings for my birthday. I sat down and cried like a little girl. I’d never had anything so…fine.

\n

Those dishes were packed away in 2014 when I sold my house. Yesterday…I carefully unwrapped each one, inspecting them for chips or cracks. They were perfect. I carefully hand washed and dried each piece and set them out on the dining room table in Mr. FixIt’s house. I thought about how far I have come in the nearly five years since Mr. Virgo died.

\n

Mr. FixIt and I still have an unconventional relationship. He has his place, I am taking care of the family farm. We stay a little here, a little there. We travel, and we stay apart a little. It works for now.

\n

I am so blessed that Mr. FixIt gets me. He’s an angel…tolerant of many things. And he’s thrilled to spend whatever time he can with me. The feelings are mutual. ❤️

\n

“Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain…”\n‭‭Psalm‬ ‭127:1‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2017-11-29T02:30:12-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/11/29/the-shift.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Fun","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Humbled","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/11/28/the-stick-tree.html", "title": "The Stick Tree", "content_html": "\"Christmas\n

You’ve all seen that spindly little Christmas tree Charlie Brown had, right? Basically a stick with some twigs branching off. As far back as I can remember, that was the tree out at the farm. My Uncle Bob was a simple man. When he was told to go cut down a pine tree for Christmas, he did just that. And being a practical man, he brought back one that was easy to carry and would not take long to decorate. He was the smartest of the bunch, turns out.

\n

Grandma didn’t have a lot of ornaments. I remember some of those made by Shiny Bright. There was a very old hand blown Santa that my fat baby fingers accidentally broke one year. sigh And, there was an angel that went on the top of the tree. Her dress was made of vinyl with a net skirt over it. Her upper torso, arms, and head were like a doll made of hard plastic. Her hair was spun glass. And her wings were silver pressed cardboard. Somehow, I managed to acquire that angel. I suppose because I’m the oldest grand daughter and got married first, I don’t know. But that angel has been with me forever. She is too fragile to put on top of a tree…I’m afraid the cardboard tube that slips over a branch might break. So, she gets tucked in a place of prominence on the front of the tree…up high enough to avoid any encounters with two or four-legged children.

\n

We always had a big, fat tree at home that my dad bought at a lot. I remember the excitement of driving around looking at Christmas lights then stopping at the lot to pick out our tree. I wore a woolen coat buttoned up to my neck, someone’s hand-me-down, I’m sure. I had a blue velvet hat that tied under my chin with blue satin ties. And, hanging on one side we’re two white balls made of real rabbit fur. I remember shaking my head back and forth to feel them bounce around. I wore that hat till it literally disintegrated. I wore rubber boots that fit over my shoes and buckles with an elastic string over a button.

\n

Dad would walk us up and down the aisles to choose the perfect tree…i.e. the cheapest without too many holes in it. Once the price was negotiated, an attendant would help Dad carry the tree to the Oldsmobile and strap it to the top with sisal rope. Once we got it home, there was trimming to be done before we could take it in the house. We had strings of lights with big reflectors that went on before screwing the big bulb in. This was a safety feature that kept the needles from touching the hot bulb and catching fire. And many of the ornaments hanging on my tree that I so carefully preserve were placed on those big, fat trees at the house on 55th Street.

\n

I remember feeling so sorry for Grandma and her skinny little Charlie Brown tree. Now I look back and appreciate the simplicity with a fervor. I use an artificial tree now. The first one I’ve had since Mr. Virgo died. I opted for a slender one. I thought I’d be putting it in front of the window at the farm. Instead, it’s over here at Mr. FixIt’s. I never would have dreamed. This is the fifth Christmas without Mr. Virgo. To have found this new love and new joy and renewed zest for life is something I am profoundly grateful for.

\n

It’s the simple things I crave now. Things held by loved ones long gone. Gentle, loving companionship. Soft music. A warm fire. Good food. And a loving God that made all this possible for me. I am richly blessed. ❤️

\n

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”\n‭‭Romans‬ ‭15:13‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2017-11-28T02:30:45-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/11/28/the-stick-tree.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","West Virginia","The Farm","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Peace","Holiday","Wisdom","Humbled","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/11/27/the-ghosts-of-christmas-past.html", "title": "The Ghosts of Christmas Past", "content_html": "\"Antique\n

I think this is my all-time favorite Christmas ornament. It’s been in my family as long as I can remember. I have a dozen or so of the smaller ones of the same era but this is the only big one that survived. I can still remember the box it came in. I am always extremely careful with all my ornaments when I store them, but this one especially so. It is so fragile and the paint has been flaking away for years.

\n

There are so many ornaments on this tree that have a story. Baby’s First Christmas. The angel topper from Grandma’s tree. Hand blown glass Santas. A sterling silver tree that was a gift to Mr. Virgo from The Ritz Carlton in 2011. An Old World Santa with the tip of his Christmas tree broken off that Mr. Virgo rescued from the trash at the Hotel Jerome in Aspen. Dozens of coveted hand made ornaments gathered from my friend Judy’s famous Christmas Ornament Exchange Parties. And, the seven Ne’Qua ornaments Mr. Virgo and I bought together on our trips…one for every Christmas we shared.

\n

Christmas has always been my favorite holiday. I found an e-mail the other day where Mr. Virgo had asked me to get our Christmas decorations and stage them in the living room so we could put up our tree that weekend. We always put on White Christmas and decorated the tree together. The first Christmas after he died, I followed the tradition. I did fine until I got up the next morning and saw what I had done. I can’t tell you how close I came to taking the whole thing down and putting it away. I cried for days. It was brutal. The next Christmas was spent in my friend’s apartment, sitting in the dark, staring out the window as the snow slowly drifted down through the circles of light around the old fashioned street lamps of Marietta, Ohio. It was still brutal.

\n

The next two Christmases were spent with my Colorado family. That was much better. We decorated the tree together and baked a million cookies. It was fun.

\n

Each holiday season is a little easier. Last year, even though we weren’t together, Mr. FixIt and I had started dating and had fallen in love. Holidays were again filled with light and love and joy. Mr. Virgo was still there with us in spirit but the sadness of his absence had abated somewhat. This year, Mr. FixIt and I did the majority of the tree trimming before he left for Florida. I finished up last night. I’m actually glad I had those few hours decorating alone. I turned on Christmas carols. (I can’t figure out how to turn on Mr. FixIt’s DVD player. ?) I held each special ornament in my hands and thought of the person who made it, or where I got it, or who was there when it was used year after year. The Ghosts of Christmas Past paraded through the room and through my mind and heart as I smiled through the tears that stung the back of my eyes as Tony Bennett crooned The Christmas Song.

\n

This is a new life…a different life. Another chance at love. Another gift of making memories. My heart is full to overflowing with the beauty of it all. God has been so good to me…us. ❤️

\n

“A cheerful heart is good medicine…”\n‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭17:22‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2017-11-27T02:30:52-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/11/27/the-ghosts-of-christmas-past.html", "tags": ["Colorado","Family","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Peace","Holiday","Wisdom","Humbled","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/11/26/o-christmas-tree.html", "title": "O Christmas Tree", "content_html": "\"Christmas\n

Last Christmas, Mr. FixIt and I had just been dating a few weeks and December found us traveling in opposite directions. He went to Florida with his buddy and a few days later, I went to Colorado for a month with my kids. That’s the longest we’ve been apart since our first date and we neither one liked it. That’s when I figured things were pretty serious between us.

\n

Right around Christmas, I was talking to him on the phone, lamenting that I didn’t get to put up a tree and have a Country Christmas at the farm. When I pulled in the driveway upon my return, I stopped in my tracks. While I was gone, this sweet man had decorated the farmhouse for me to come home to. Not only that, but he was standing there in his grey wool trousers, black dress shoes, a white shirt, and a red sweater vest. He looked so sharp and my heart nearly exploded! What a sweet and generous thing for him to do. He also bought me an indoor lighted Christmas tree, but we didn’t put it up because it was almost New Year’s when I got back from my trip. So, this is the first year we have a tree together.

\n

Someone mentioned they wanted to see a picture and someone else wanted to know about the mechanical angel, so I decided to post a video for you this morning. I still have ornaments to put on but didn’t get home till late last night so I’ll decorate more today.

\n

I went to the funeral yesterday. As it turns out, Sis wasn’t just my grandma’s friend and neighbor. We were related…through marriage. I’ve told you before, you can’t throw a stick up this holler without hitting someone I’m related to. I got to see several cousins and met Sis’s son. He’s been my Facebook friend for ages. It’s such a small, small world.

\n

I am so relieved that I can attend a funeral service now without wigging out. My friend’s son was killed in an accident a year or so ago. Another friend took one look at me during the visitation and said, “Let’s go.” She got me out in the air and my heart started beating again. You certainly don’t LIKE going to funerals, but you have to be able to express condolences without flipping out and it took me a while to get there. For the longest time, I seriously felt like I was just one crisis away from losing it altogether. That “one crisis theory” hung over my head like Damocles’ sword which increased my anxiety exponentially. Full blown grief is about as close to flat out crazy as you can get. I didn’t know if “I” would ever come back. Thank God I did. I couldn’t live like that forever.

\n

My sweetie is gone for his annual Florida guy’s trip so I’m spending the week catching up with “back burner” things…stuff I put off because it’s much more fun to go play with my bestest buddy. I need to be pretty productive this week! ❤️

\n

“Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously.”\n‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭9:6‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2017-11-26T02:30:10-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/11/26/o-christmas-tree.html", "tags": ["Family","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Holiday","Wisdom","Humbled"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/11/25/its-small-business-saturday.html", "title": "It’s Small Business Saturday", "content_html": "\"Shop\n

I avoid Black Friday like the plague. There is nothing in this whole wide world I…or anyone I know…need bad enough to risk life and limb for. I know there are great deals. I know the color glossies and TV commercials have been pumping everyone with the next great thing they can’t live without. I’m fortunate in that my kids were raised Jewish. They got a little present every night, then one big one on the last night of Hanukkah. They also had Santa but there was only one really extravagant year that I can remember. My kids and grandkids are frugal. They would much rather have money and go shopping at the after Christmas sales. More bang for their buck!

\n

I have everything I need. I buy myself a plane ticket every year and go see my Colorado family. I don’t want anything I have to take care of or dust. This year, Mr. FixIt and I have decided instead of getting each other presents for Christmas, we’re going to carpet the family room. We’ll get much more enjoyment out of that than any appliance or sweater. And, it’s the gift that keeps on giving! I encourage you to shop small, hometown, mom & pop businesses this year. Big box stores may have better deals on cheaper goods…but they don’t have the vested interest in you personally that a small business owner has. I’ve owned my own business before…I know. This month makes or breaks a small business. Do your best to keep your money local.

\n

I have a funeral to go to today. Sis Strickling passed away. That’s not her first name, nor is this her last name…my family always just called her Sis “Stricklin’”. She was born and raised on the country road a couple miles from the farm. Always sweet and with a smile on her face, my favorite memories of her were at the little one room church house where Grandma went. Sometimes she would come over to the farm for a visit while I was there. She kept her house neat and tidy. After her husband passed away, she went to Ohio to be with her kids. Her memory went at the end and I know it was so hard for her family. I praise God that he gives us an eternal home with no pain, no tears, and no illness. I know her husband and loved ones who went before her met her with open arms.

\n

It took the longest time for me to be able to go to a funeral after Mr. Virgo died. I wasn’t sure I would ever go to another one, but surprisingly…it’s BECAUSE he died that I can go easily now. If I begin to get anxious, I remind myself I am doing this for the loved ones. This has nothing to do with me…it’s all about them. I was so touched by everyone who came to my husband’s funeral. Their presence meant more to me than they will ever know. I remember so few individuals, but I do remember a sea of faces and that equates to a boatload of love. That love helped me through, so that’s why I go to funerals now.

\n

Mr. FixIt and I put up the Christmas tree last night. It’s our first one together. Blending traditions gave us ample opportunities to discuss and compromise. He wanted the tree in the dining room where you could see it from the road. I wanted it in the family room where WE could see it. We compromised by moving furniture around so we could put the tree in front of the picture window in the family room. This way we can see it from the side road coming in AND while we’re sitting in the family room. I’ll put lights in the dining room window so he can see it from the big road. Even through the top branches of the tree were pretty tippy, the mechanical angel HAD to go on top. I managed to wedge the branches around enough to support her and she is beautiful. Melding…it’s what you do when you keep adding to your family. At this point, if we got everyone I’m related to through marriages together, that would be one huge family portrait. I am so, so blessed to add so many branches to my family tree. ❤️

\n

“May the Lord our God be with us as he was with our ancestors; may he never leave us nor forsake us.”\n‭‭1 Kings‬ ‭8:57‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2017-11-25T02:30:30-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/11/25/its-small-business-saturday.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Humbled","Aging"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/11/24/and-soit-begins.html", "title": "And So...It Begins", "content_html": "\"Christmas\n

The other day I found myself with a little time on my hands and stopped at the Blennerhassett Hotel for a Starbucks. The Easter Seal Parade of Trees was on display so I took my coffee and wandered among the holiday decorations, getting inspiration. There were some stunning trees this year. The trees are decorated by volunteers, sponsored by local businesses, and auctioned off to the highest bidder. It’s a wonderful fund raiser for the Easter Seal Society and helps provided needed services for area physically and developmentally disabled children.

\n

I grew up going to the Easter Seal Treatment Center. My big brother was born with cerebral palsy and went to therapy every week. He had physical, occupational, and speech therapy for as long as I can remember. One of my earliest memories was a play table with little doors. You went in and the door shut after you. It was designed to allow children with disabilities to stand up for a period of time. There were toys and puzzles you could play with on the table in front of you, but what really stuck with me was the milk and cookies we got at snack time. Even though I had no need of these services, I was allowed to attend many of the sessions because I totally understood my brother’s speech when others found it difficult.

\n

Mom learned to drive when my brother was first starting therapy so she didn’t have to rely on my dad to get us to school and therapy at the end of the day. I’ll never forget my mom’s friend Elaine trying to teach her to drive. I sat in the back as mom drove around and around City Park. At one point, we ran up an embankment and nearly hit a tree. Mom put her head down on the steering wheel and cried. She kept saying, “I can’t. I can’t do it!” And Elaine would pat her arm and say, “Wanda…you have these kids to take care of. Of course you can do this. Now, let’s try again.”

\n

Elaine was a saint. And…so was my mom. I look back now at what her life was like and I’m in awe of her. I wasn’t always a supportive child and I sure wish she was here now to receive this new appreciation I feel for her.

\n

Christmas is such a special time of year. I love bringing beauty and light into the long, dark nights of winter. We came back last night from our Thanksgiving visit with my family and will work today to get some decorating done before Mr. FixIt leaves for Florida on Saturday. This will be our second Christmas together…my fifth without Mr. Virgo. Bittersweet becomes more and more sweet with time.

\n

I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving! I ate a lot, loved on my family, and took a nap!!! ❤️

\n

“You’ll take afternoon naps without a worry, you’ll enjoy a good night’s sleep.”\n‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭3:24 ‭MSG‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2017-11-24T02:30:07-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/11/24/and-soit-begins.html", "tags": ["Family","Travel","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Fun","West Virginia","The Farm","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Peace","Holiday","Wisdom","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/11/23/with-gratitude.html", "title": "With Gratitude", "content_html": "\"Ginny\n

It’s deer season in West Virginia and I bagged my first deer yesterday. Unfortunately, it was with Mr. FixIt’s 2007 Tundra. There was no stopping and I did exactly what I was supposed to do. I didn’t swerve. I held steady. Fortunately, there’s not much damage to the truck but we will have to replace the bumper. I’ve never hit a deer before. One fell down in front of me once but I drove right over it and it jumped up and ran away. I am grateful we weren’t injured and the damage was minimal.

\n

The other night, Mr. FixIt and I were having dinner and talking about Old Mama Kitty being gone. He stopped with his fork halfway to his mouth and asked, “You don’t suppose she wandered into the cellar house when you were in there last week and got trapped, do you?” OMGosh! The look on my face must have been pure horror. He looked at me with such compassion and said, “Don’t worry…we’ll go right back out there and check.” We drove the twenty-two miles and I ran up to the building and checked but she wasn’t there. Im sad she is gone but I’m grateful I didn’t accidentally trap her and keep her from food and water.

\n

We visited my mom’s sister and brother and his wife yesterday. My aunts are having memory issues and my uncle is caring for them. So far they’re holding their own. Actually, the aunt whose dementia is really bad was having a pretty good day. She recognized me and told me she had been worried about me. She put her arm around my neck and pulled me close. She told me she loved me. She waved goodbye with a smile. I am grateful to have made that connection with my aunt.

\n

My uncle regaled us with funny stories all evening…one of which I thought to record. He told the story about the day they rolled the old farmhouse I’m living in down onto the new basement they built. We all laughed. I am grateful for this man’s strength, courage, and sense of humor. Most of all, I’m grateful for his heart…it is full of love!

\n

I am grateful for my Colorado family. They are healthy and happy and enjoying their lives. My brother is doing well. I’ve more than doubled my family since bringing Mr. FixIt into my life. More people to love!

\n

I am grateful to all of you for making a little space in your lives for my words. You all bless me every day. Thank you for indulging me in my stories. May you all be richly blessed.

\n

Happy Thanksgiving! ❤️

\n

“Make a joyful noise to the Lord, all the earth! Serve the Lord with gladness! Come into his presence with singing! Know that the Lord, he is God! It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture. Enter his gates with thanksgiving, and his courts with praise! Give thanks to him; bless his name! For the Lord is good; his steadfast love endures forever, and his faithfulness to all generations.”\n‭‭Psalms‬ ‭100:1-5‬ ‭ESV‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2017-11-23T10:36:49-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/11/23/with-gratitude.html", "tags": ["Family","Travel","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Fun","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Peace","Holiday","Wisdom","Humbled"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/11/22/little-lies.html", "title": "Little Lies", "content_html": "\"Pinky\n

Is there such a thing as a “little white lie”? I mean, isn’t a lie…a lie? Big or small, untruths between couples erode trust in a relationship. If you have a need to outright lie to your spouse, you might not be with the right person. And what about the sin of omission? Ok, I’ve been guilty of “rounding down a little” when reporting how much I spent on that little black dress I had to have or trying to maintain a secret surrounding a gift. And, if I’m going to be honest here, there have been times in my life when I have not been truthful in a relationship and I’m not married to that person anymore. Which brings up that point again…if you have a need to outright lie to your spouse, you might not be with the right person. I wasn’t way back when. Enough said.

\n

I was thrilled when Mr. Virgo came along. He was a great communicator, which was quite refreshing for me. We told each other everything. We told each other stories. I loved his stories. He worked in 5-Star resorts, hotels, and restaurants around the world. He met fascinating people…celebrities, politicians, dignitaries, kings and queens. His stories were enthralling and he loved telling them as much as I loved hearing them.

\n

Several weeks after Mr. Virgo died, I was going through his personal papers in his dresser and came upon things that shook me up. Things I didn’t know. Things I felt were out of character for the man I knew and loved. Oh, it wasn’t anything like a second family in another state or something of a criminal nature. It was credit cards I didn’t know about. A relationship he had had before me that he never told me about. A business he had lost that had debt I was unaware of. Little things, but little things add up to big things.

\n

I didn’t know how to feel. I felt a little betrayed. I felt a little disappointed. I felt a little angry. It added to the sadness and devastation I was already feeling at his loss. I carried that around for a long time and never told anyone because I didn’t want to besmirch Mr. Virgo’s good name. And you know what happens when you hold things in…they rot and swell and become that abscess you need lanced or your soul will explode.

\n

I’m sure I’m not the only person who went through this. But I’ve never really talked much about it till the other day I met someone going through the same thing I went through and I knew there was a post in there. I knew somewhere out there, there is at least one person who needs to hear how I handled that, so here we are.

\n

When I first stumbled across information that I had not known when Mr. Virgo was alive, I was confused. I wasn’t sure exactly what I was looking at. Grief brain addles your mind anyway. Add conflicting information and I was stumped. I wrote things down, made notes, compared conversations till I had a pretty good idea what I was looking at. Then I started the process of reconciling that information and asked myself a number of questions.

\n

Does this new information change how you KNOW you feel about him…how you’ve felt about him since the beginning?

\n

For me, the answer was a resounding “No!”

\n

Did he love me? “Yes…more than life itself!”

\n

Why did he not tell me? “He didn’t want to…for whatever reason…and that was his choice to make.”

\n

If I would have known this information before I married him, would I have gone through with the wedding? “Oh, h*** yeah!”

\n

Mr. Virgo is still the same man I knew and loved and grieve for. The only thing that has changed is thought. Yes, there was some debt to contend with that I wasn’t expecting. That is what life insurance policies are for…debt, funeral expenses, and living expenses till you can stand up and breathe again. It wasn’t much, but it helped me get through the messiness. The relationship he had before me that I didn’t know about? Who cares? He married me. The credit cards I didn’t know about? That is still a puzzle, but one I’ve had to let go of. In the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t matter.

\n

Unless it’s something criminal, or there’s a whole secret family you didn’t know about, my advice is…let it go. Obsessing over things never changes the past. It only sullies the present and tarnishes future memories. They make mistakes…they sin…they’re human. Let it go. I prefer to preserve that special relationship I felt before I rummaged around in the bottom drawer of his dresser. It’s better this way. ❤️

\n

“Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth.”\n‭‭2 Timothy‬ ‭2:15‬ ‭ESV‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2017-11-22T02:30:25-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/11/22/little-lies.html", "tags": ["Family","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Forgiveness"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/11/20/you-never-know.html", "title": "You Never Know", "content_html": "

 

\n

You buy a desk…you need a chair, right? And not just any chair. I wanted an old banker’s chair. I found one on Facebook Marketplace. I went to pick it up Saturday. The woman I spoke with over the phone was lovely. I felt comfortable meeting her to pick up the chair.

\n

The house was back away from the road…the quintessential farm house. White with green shutters, a long covered porch. As soon as I drove up to the house, the garage door opened and I was greeted by a middle-aged woman. I’ll call her June. June directed me to the chair and helped bring it out to the truck. We stood in the driveway and chatted for the longest time. This was her parents’ place, she told me. Her dad died in July and her mom is starting the daunting process of downsizing. I told her my heart is with her in her loss…then I told her about Mr. Virgo. Suddenly her eyes lit up and she said, OMGosh! You write a blog! You’re Marshmallow Ranch!

\n

This always slays me when someone knows me. And I always go through a little mental inventory of my behaviors leading up to the moment of recognition. You never know who you might be talking to. I have a certain self-imposed regulation. I want to always put my best foot forward and exemplify good Christian values. It was wonderful to make June’s acquaintance.

\n

The family dinner party was wonderful. The only mishap was forgetting to take the candied yams out of the oven to serve. The company was delightful. I cooked for three days and I was exhausted when I posted this so I’ll catch up more with you tomorrow. ❤️

\n

“She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.””\n‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭31:27-29‬ ‭NIV

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2017-11-20T02:30:47-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/11/20/you-never-know.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Fun","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Peace","Holiday","Wisdom","Humbled","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/11/16/things-that-make-me-smile.html", "title": "Things That Make Me Smile", "content_html": "\"Antique\n

I was rummaging around in the basement out at the farm the other day, looking for painting supplies, when I saw the old stove in this great light and had to stop and capture it. I’m not sure why my Grandma did most of her canning down in the basement.  I know this past summer the basement was so humid mold was growing on everything. I had to buy a dehumidifier to put down there to keep the humidity below 50%. When she got this baby cranked up with a canner full of boiling water (not to mention the wringer washer) the condensation literally ran down the walls.

\n

There is a good-sized triangular patch of ground across the creek from the house that was the truck garden. This was where most of the vegetables for the table were grown. The canning vegetables, as well as the strawberries for the farmer’s market, were grown back up on the hill. There was a footbridge that crossed the creek to the garden. My uncle ran an electric fence around the garden to keep the deer out. Grandma grew a ton of green beans, corn, cabbage, cucumbers, onions, and tomatoes in that little patch of ground. The potatoes were grown on a similar, though much smaller, triangular patch along the end of the driveway. I spent many hours stringing beans and shucking corn, scalding and peeling tomatoes, and helping any way I could on canning days.

\n

One year we drove all the way to Virginia to buy peaches.  I remember they were as big as softballs. Mom was helping Grandma can them and neither one knew the other had stirred sugar into the syrup to pour over them in the jars. When they opened the first jar later on, they were sickeningly sweet. Mom felt so bad…she thought she had ruined Grandma’s beautiful peaches. But Grandma said, “Sis, don’t you worry about a thing. We’ll just make us some peach butter and not have to add any sugar.” They cooked them down and that was the best peach butter ever!

\n

Now, this old stove stands silently in a back corner of the basement…rusted and resting on cinder blocks for legs. This appliance was from a time of resourceful ingenuity… a time when you never threw anything away. You made do. You “recycled” by reusing. You reduced waste simply by being too poor to buy something better. The Baby Boomers were on the tail end of that generation. Ours was a disposable generation. Cheaply made plastic and paper products have filled countless landfills. Grandma didn’t even have trash service till very late in life. You burned what little paper you threw away. You fed table scraps to the cats or hogs. You reused the glass jars that you canned your food in. I’m glad this stove is still here…even though it doesn’t work…it would never be safe enough to use. But it’s like going into the museum of my youth when I go downstairs. And it’s one of the the things that makes me smile. ❤️

\n

“So then, brothers, stand firm and hold to the traditions that you were taught by us, either by our spoken word or by our letter.”\n‭‭2 Thessalonians‬ ‭2:15‬ ‭ESV‬‬

\n", "date_published": "2017-11-16T02:30:12-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/11/16/things-that-make-me-smile.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","West Virginia","The Farm","Growth","Gratitude","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Humbled"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/11/15/the-long-goodbye.html", "title": "The Long Goodbye", "content_html": "\"Vintage\n

I have a longtime friend…I’ll call her Betty. Betty is retired. She was a child and family counselor…and a darned good one. She is kind, gentle, tender in her approach. She was an intuitive therapist. She raised a beautiful family. She had struggles along the way, as we all do. Some of hers were really difficult. But, in the end, she is still with the same loving spouse, and her children are thriving.

\n

Several months ago, Betty contacted me and asked me to go to lunch with her. It was there that she revealed she had been diagnosed with dementia. It was hereditary, she explained. She already saw the signs and was struggling a bit. She wanted to thank me for teaching her to quilt because it has been a favorite pastime for her the last few years. Her legacy is in the quilts she stitched by hand as well as the books she wrote.

\n

Betty’s biggest worry, she told me over lunch, was being a burden to her family and friends. She told me she was going to become more involved in Facebook as a way to stay engaged and interested. She didn’t want to disappear into the shadows of her mind. I encouraged her to write and remain present as long as she could. In true Betty fashion, she turned her Facebook page into a lesson…of love, of courage, of perseverance. She used to send me private messages occasionally. Bringing an article to my attention. Sharing a travel photo. Sharing a memory. Then the private messages stopped. A few days ago, she shared that her dementia was worsening…right on schedule. She doesn’t leave the house much anymore. She realizes how much she is forgetting and she hopes she isn’t boring any of us. I told her this:

\n

We love you. We cannot fully understand what you are going through. But, we can certainly empathize. It must feel like you are leaving on a cruise ship and the people on the shore are getting further and further away till they disappear. But here’s the good news. The land to which you will eventually arrive has streets paved in gold. There will be no more illness and pain. Only love and joy. And when you can no longer feel our hands, turn around and reach for His. He is always waiting for us with arms wide open.

\n

It’s been a long goodbye. And while I will miss her sweet, gentle posts with pictures of “Home”, I know for a fact she is surrounded by people who love her very much. They will support her as best they can. They will guard her and protect her and wish her bon voyage. I do not know where she will go when she gets lost in her mind. But I hope it will be pleasant and not painful for her. Safe travels, my friend. I will see you on the other side. ❤️

\n

“The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.”\n‭‭Psalm‬ ‭23:1-6‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2017-11-15T02:30:40-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/11/15/the-long-goodbye.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Humbled","Aging"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/11/14/letting-out-your-inner-child.html", "title": "Letting Out Your Inner Child", "content_html": "\"Mickey\n

I saw something yesterday that totally melted my heart. Daughter #1 is at Disney World with her family and her brother-in-law’s family. She was standing with Mickey and Minnie Mouse. There’s a long story why this was so touching for me.

\n

I was a single mom with #1 by the time she was two years old. It was not easy. We lived in HUD housing. We got WIC and food stamps. There were roaches and the people downstairs abused their kids. I looked in the open door one day when I walked by and my neighbor yelled at me to keep moving or she’d “come up behind me and slit my $&@?ing throat!” It was NOT a healthy scenario and if I had been any brighter or bolder, I would have packed up my stuff and hightailed it back to West Virginia. But that wasn’t what I wanted for my little girl. I wanted her to have every opportunity that I didn’t have growing up and I knew if I worked hard enough, I’d get her out of there. We would have a good life.

\n

And things did get better. I got a really good job. I found a roommate, I lived frugally. I got good daycare. She was never wanting for the basics, but there wasn’t much extra. Just lots of love. Then, we met Hubby #2. He was applying to medical school. We worked really hard. He was a good daddy and a great provider…even though it was many years before we started making any money.

\n

We moved to a small town when my ex finished residency and joined a practice. We were thrilled to be in the mountains and a lovely community. Daughter #1 was going into 7th grade…a tough age to make such a big move. The kids at school only knew her as the “new doctor’s daughter”. There was a group of kids out on the lawn one day, talking about how hard it was to not have money for nice things. My daughter spoke up and said she totally understood that. The kids scoffed and she told them, her dad wasn’t BORN a doctor. There were many nights we ate a box of generic mac & cheese and a tomato out of the yard. She had a genuine appreciation for where she came from and she gained the respect of all the kids.

\n

Still, we didn’t really start making a decent living till she was nearly finished with high school. Then we had her little sister. My girls are nearly sixteen years apart. It was a different world raising the two of them. The level of affluence was drastically different and the little one definitely made out when it came to vacations. My younger one was only two or three the first time we took her to Disney World. By then, her older sister was in college. I never did get to take my oldest to see Mickey and Minnie…something she never, ever let me forget, even though she understood why.

\n

She’s been to Disneyland a couple of times with my son-in-law’s family. But never Disney World. Not till this week. I’ve been going on her Facebook page several times a day to see the pictures she posts. Yesterday…there she was. Beaming. Standing between Mickey and Minnie, grinning from ear to ear. The post simply read, “Six-year-old me is happy.” It made me smile. It warmed my heart. She is showing her children a good time. She is sharing her joy with them. She’s such a good mom and I’m so proud of her. I’m proud of both of my daughters. And…I’m happy they know how to let their inner child out to play. ❤️

\n

“Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.”\n‭‭1 Peter‬ ‭3:4‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2017-11-14T02:30:05-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/11/14/letting-out-your-inner-child.html", "tags": ["Family","Travel","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Fun","Growth","Gratitude","Love","Wisdom","Aging"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/11/13/when-things-get-messy.html", "title": "When Things Get Messy", "content_html": "\"Painting\n

This is the part I hate about home improvement projects…living through the mess till it gets finished. I have done this countless times in my life. You can’t avoid it if you are a homeowner. I did this and then some when my mom died and I prepared to sell her house. She wouldn’t let me do anything to her house when she was living because it meant she would have to throw something away. I completely redid the kitchen and bathroom, painted the whole house, and refinished the hardwood floors…all by myself. It’s ever so much more fun to do a project with someone…especially if you work well together as a team. We took yesterday off, went to church, then out to the farm to feed cats. And today we are back at it.

\n

As I sat down to write this post, a notification came through on my phone. There are nearly a hundred women from Sisters on the Fly down in Port Aransas doing hurricane relief. The very day the hurricane hit, the call went out on the Sisters on the Fly Facebook page. Someone picked up the ball and started The Sister Corps. They immediately started recruiting women to go south to help with the cleanup efforts as they knew help would be needed beyond the immediacy of the storm. The Sister Corps has been posting pictures of the mounds of trash out in front of the houses where they are working. Homes are bare to the studs where drywall must be replaced because of flooding. Bathrooms and kitchens are being replaced. Carpeting and ruined flooring has been ripped out. It makes me look at this room with a whole new vision.

\n

We are freshening this room…not salvaging it. We are making a choice to change outdated colors and carpeting, not replacing everything because of a natural disaster. Again, God humbles me when I get too “uppity” for my own good. This is a joy…a blessing. We are wealthy beyond our wildest dreams. We are rich in love and the bountiful blessings of not one, but two homes to live in. We have the money to buy a few gallons of paint without having to go through insurance adjusters and contractors and estimates to do so. I will look at this project with new eyes today when I am privileged to pick up a paint brush and know I have a comfortable bed to sleep in tonight. I know where my family is sleeping tonight. I know we have food in the pantry and a little money in the bank.

\n

I want to share with you another way God works in my life. The other day, I received notice I needed to make a change in my insurance. I’ve been on the healthcare.gov website and on the phone a few times choosing New coverage. It’s an affordable policy, but still…money I wasn’t necessarily planning on spending. As I looked through the choices, I prayed. “God, show me what I need. I’ll worry about filling out the paperwork…you worry about how I’ll afford what I need.” God always, always provides. You want to know how I know this? Because, yesterday after church, Mr. Fixit and I went to the post office to pick up the mail and there were, not one but…TWO checks in there. Not enough to pay for a full month of insurance. But enough to cover my tithe for the next three months.

\n

This is how God works. He has countless, countless blessings for YOU. They have your name on them…specifically. And he so wants to give them to you. But…he waits for you to ask for them. Don’t come out of the chute asking for those blessings directly, either. Come into the conversation thanking Him for the blessings he has already showered on you. An attitude of gratitude is a fair way to start a prayer when you are asking for more.

\n

Thank you, God…for the unexpected bounty you have blessed me with. I am so grateful. ❤️

\n

“Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this,” says the Lord Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it.”\n‭‭Malachi‬ ‭3:10‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2017-11-13T02:30:22-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/11/13/when-things-get-messy.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Humbled","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/11/10/brushing-up-against-the-past.html", "title": "Brushing Up Against The Past", "content_html": "\"\"\n

Today is Veteran’s Day. Every Veteran’s Day, I sent Mr. Virgo a note thanking him for his service. His father was a veteran. His late daughter was a veteran. My dad, my uncle, my first husband, my niece, my late father-in-law…all veterans. Mr. Virgo had military honors at his funeral. I cannot hear taps without feeling a catch in my throat. This time of year brings him closer to the surface.

\n

The other day, one of my dear friends posted a video. In it, she addressed her friends and family. Her nose was red from crying. She sniffled as tears slowly dripped down her cheeks. This is the angelversary week of her husband’s death. It hits her hard every year and even though it’s been eleven years, she relives his final days over and over. It broke my heart. And, of course, it made me think of Mr. Virgo. His was a sudden death. No warning. No long goodbyes. Thankfully, no suffering. I cannot imagine a lingering death. It crushes me.

\n

While I haven’t cried for him in quite some time, that doesn’t mean I never will again. It certainly doesn’t mean I’m through with grief and loss. That’s something that is forever imprinted in the fibers of my being. But I will say this…I don’t let myself “go there” very often. I used to meditate on him. I felt it was necessary to purge myself of as many tears as possible to clean out my heart from this terrible pain. When tears wouldn’t come, I would look at a picture of him in his casket taken at the viewing… white turtleneck, ivory sweater, hair carefully combed, glasses missing from the CPR efforts. I know that sounds absolutely macabre, but somehow I needed that pain to burn itself out or the fire was going to consume me. I knew this without a doubt.

\n

Time and distance has softened Mr. Virgo’s death somehow. It’s like looking at the horizon without my glasses. I see the line…it’s just blurred. If I concentrate, I can bring it back into focus because it’s always there…just beyond where the light spills over. But, something interesting happens when he brushes up against my mind now. When I get close to the memories, I “feel” him instead of “see” him. I mean…literally. While there are some passages in the Bible that allow for a little wiggle room in the idea of “ghosts”, Evangelical Christians believe that we are absent from this place once we die. However, it isn’t far fetched to believe that God may use visions, smells and touch to evoke loving memories of loved ones who have passed.

\n

The other night, Mr. FixIt and I were talking and he said the sweetest thing. He said, “How can we love each other this much?” Immediately, I felt something brush up over my right arm. It surprised me and I sat very still. I looked down at my arm and thought hard. “Do it again.” I whispered in my mind. And there it was…a distinct “touch”…like static electricity on my right forearm. I smiled and looked up at Mr. FixIt. I don’t know how we can love each other this much, but we do.

\n

And…I’ve a feeling someone else approves. ❤️

\n

“We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord.”\n‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭5:8‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2017-11-10T02:30:35-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/11/10/brushing-up-against-the-past.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Humbled","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/11/09/what-have-i-done.html", "title": "What Have I Done???", "content_html": "\"Computer\n

OMGosh! I broke my absolute cardinal rule yesterday and…gasp…bought a piece of furniture! I know, I know…you all were with me when I downsized and I absolutely SWORE I would never accumulate “stuff” again. BUT…things are different now. A lot different. I’m not living in a camper, for one thing. For the last three years, my desktop computer has been riding in my camper, under the bed, in an airtight plastic storage tub. There have been numerous times I’ve needed to use it and I have to go out, prop up the bed, haul it out, and put it away when I’m done. Ok, ok…I’m rationalizing. Here’s what happened.

\n

I had to run to town yesterday for an appointment and on my way back to the house, I saw a sign that said “Grand Opening!” It was a consignment store. Who can pass up a good consignment store, right? My truck pulled in, all on its own. I had no choice but to follow. I browsed around and they had some beautiful pieces of furniture. I was first attracted to an old rolltop desk. It was small, and a little beat up. Mr. FixIt has a nice rolltop desk…much nicer than this one. I went on and looked at other things. When I came back around, I asked the clerk about the desk. He said, “You know, if it were me and I had the room, I’d be looking at this one. Much better piece of furniture.” He opened the doors and the drawers and showed me the solid oak construction. The top opens and there’s a place for the monitor, a drawer for the keyboard, and a separate cabinet for the CPU. It is in two pieces to make it easier to transport. The selling point for me was the price. The piece originally sold for $1800. It had been priced for sale in the consignment shop for $500…a decent price for a sold piece of furniture of this quality. However, it was marked down to $250. So, I own a piece of furniture.

\n

That’s two pieces, actually. I also own the jelly cupboard in the kitchen at the farm. Oh, and a recliner. Hmmmmm….I am accumulating. Not excessively, but still. It doesn’t feel as scary to put down some roots as it did in the first few years after Mr. Virgo died. I didn’t want to feel a sense of permanence then. Permanence meant real loss when things headed south. I needed to feel untethered…free. I didn’t have the strength to be needed…even by inanimate objects. As long as it fit in my truck and my camper, I was just fine. And like I said, things are different now. A lot of healing has occurred. Time has passed. A relationship has been established. A home is being created. Two homes, actually.

\n

Mr. FixIt lives exactly twenty-two miles from the farm. He lives on five acres out in the country. He generously shares his space with me. Mi casa es su casa. My house is your house. He is just as comfortable at the farm as I am at his place. And neither of us are giving up our space. We stay a little here, a little there, and then have our own space to retreat to when we need to recharge. It’s the perfect arrangement for the time being. I became very independent after losing Mr. Virgo. While I missed him, certainly…I also came to appreciate the stillness of my own breath. Mr. FixIt and I both like our alone time. Although…truth be told…whenever we are apart, we miss each other terribly. This whole relationship thing is growing on both of us. I suppose, for me, there is still an element of fear deep down inside. That “What if something happened to him” thing. I know I can’t live my life in fear. I won’t. But, there’s something to be said for taking your time in any given situation. After all, there’s no biological time clock ticking here. There’s absolutely nothing to be in a hurry over.

\n

Mr. FixIt and I have been together for a year now. I was thinking about this yesterday. I’m in a really good place now, emotionally. I haven’t had a “bad night” in a really long time. My anxiety level is at an all time low. I’m comfortable in my own skin. I’m happy. I am blessed. And…I am grateful. God has answered so many prayers. I think I’m just going to go along for the ride and enjoy…everything. Life is so sweet! ❤️

\n

“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away.”\n‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭13:4-10‬ ‭ESV‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2017-11-09T02:30:08-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/11/09/what-have-i-done.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","West Virginia","The Farm","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/11/08/getting-cozy.html", "title": "Getting Cozy", "content_html": "\"Gas\n

I’ve always loved to sit in front of a nice fire with a cup of tea, a comforter, and a stack of magazines. I haven’t had a stove or fireplace to sit in front of since my youngest was a baby. She’s twenty-seven. We are fortunate to have free gas at the farm so we have a couple ventless gas stoves to ward off the chill in the far reaches of the house. But they don’t look like a wood stove and are situated where sitting near them is impossible. I was delighted when Mr. FixIt showed me his house for the first time. This gas stove sits in the family room and is perfect for getting cozy on a cold, wet November afternoon.

\n

And it’s a good thing we’re getting cozy today because…we are about to embark on the first real test of our relationship. Painting a room together. We picked up an array of paint samples at the hardware store the other day and sat down with them yesterday. Or rather…I did while Mr. FixIt finished up something he was working on. I looked through the color swatches, booklets, and magazines and all I felt was frustration. You can ask Daughter #1…I’m horrible at choosing colors. I have it in my head what I want but putting it down as a plan that makes any sense eludes me. I spent an inordinate amount of time cross-stitching a quilt pattern for one of my BFF’s one year for Christmas. I had it framed and when it was done…well, let’s just say it looked lovely in her downstairs guest bathroom. I have a horrible time matching colors. My daughter, however, can pick out tea towels to match the accent wall in her kitchen six months after painting it. I couldn’t tell you if it was green or yellow. (It was the color of red grapes, actually. I mean, what IS that?) Anyway, I finally found a picture that showed what I was looking for just as Mr. FixIt walked into the room.

\n

“How’s it going, my baby?”

\n

Breathe. Act like you know what you’re doing.

\n

“Great! What do you think of this? We can do three walls in this color, one accent wall in this darker shade, and the trim in white!”

\n

I held my breath.

\n

“I like it!”

\n

Really? That was easy. Listen, this may very well actually BE the world’s most perfect man!

\n

We went to town and bought the paint and some supplies we needed. Now comes the challenge of actually painting…together. I’ll keep you apprised how that goes. In the meantime, I sat here in front of this cozy fire with a Rosemary Chicken in the oven, a definite chill in the air, browsing through a stack of my favorite magazines, a nice cup of tea at hand. Honestly, it doesn’t get much better than that!

\n

Mr. Virgo’s Rosemary Chicken

\n

Pick out a nice, fat roasting hen. Remove giblets and set to simmer for gravy, if you’re into that sort of thing. Personally, I think innards go in the trash, NOT in my gravy. Rinse the chicken, inside and out and place in a baking dish. Wipe the chicken with extra virgin olive oil. Season with fresh ground pepper, salt, rustic herbs, garlic and crushed rosemary. Place uncovered in a preheated 350 degree oven and bake until golden brown…about an hour and a half to two hours. The leg should be squeezable and when a knife is stuck in between the thigh and breast, the juices should run clear. That’s it, easy peasy. Mr. Virgo and I had this every Sunday. I made it for Mr. FixIt last night for the first time and it was a big hit. If you need a quicker meal, prepare chicken thighs in the same manner but bake 30-45 minutes. Bon Appetite! ❤️

\n

“May your unfailing love be my comfort, according to your promise to your servant.”\n‭‭Psalm‬ ‭119:76‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2017-11-08T02:30:14-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/11/08/getting-cozy.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Peace","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/11/07/he-will-cover-you-with.html", "title": "He Will Cover You With His Feathers...", "content_html": "\"He\n

Mr. Fixit is doing some cleaning up and updating at his house. We make a really good team working on projects together and he is constantly amazed at the things I can do. I think it really shocked him at first when I did jobs around the farm that may have been labeled “men’s work” in an earlier time. He’ll still watch me do something and shake his head. I usually look at him and say “What?!” He’ll laugh and say, “You amaze me, that’s all. You’re a remarkable woman!” I love that. I love being considered a remarkable woman by a man I greatly admire. It makes me feel both feminine and empowered at the same time.

\n

Somewhere in the midst of moving things around at his house the other day, Mr. Fixit stumbled upon a book called Lists to Live by for Every Married Couple. Even though we aren’t married, we figured since we’re a couple, the book ought to work for us as well. Every evening we sit down and read a few pages and discuss the lists. There are lists of activities to do, things to say, things NOT to say, good habits…you know, common sense things that keep marriages (and couples in relationships) on an even keel as they navigate this journey called life. And even though this isn’t our first rodeo, it’s our first in this particular one, so it doesn’t hurt to read.

\n

I like that these lists have faith-based items on them. Pray for your partner. Tell your partner you are praying for them. Read the Bible. Go to church. Mr. Fixit hadn’t been to church for thirty-five years until I came along. I never pushed him to go. I just told him that’s where I’d be every Sunday morning. And I was. And one day he said he might go with me every once in awhile. Not every week…but, once in a while. I smiled and said I would love that. Again…no pressure. Then came the Sunday he went with me. Easter, I think. When we came out, his eyes were lit up with a fire! He was so excited. He’d never experienced church like this. He had always fallen asleep in church. THIS church grabbed his attention and kept him engaged the entire service. He’s gone with me every Sunday since unless one or the other of us is traveling.

\n

This is something new for me, as well. To have someone want to go to church with me every week. To hold my hand during worship and prayer. Someone to sing with me. A voice I recognize praying next to me. This has become a big part of our bonding experience. There should be three people in every relationship…you, your significant other, and God. If both of you keep God at the top of the triangle and you both strive to climb closer to Him…you cannot help but get closer to each other. It’s simple geometry.

\n

When trouble comes into our life, either in the form of tragedy in the news or something that affects us on a more personal level, we remember that God wraps us in His feathers and we can find refuge there. We needn’t be afraid of the things of the world. I watched the news again last night and saw the follow up stories surrounding the shooting in Texas. I watched the mother, the pastor’s wife, whose fourteen year old daughter was killed. I saw her model grace in the wake of an unspeakable loss. And this verse came to me. What a remarkable example of trust. Of faith. Of absolute assurance she will see her child again. I was in awe.

\n

My heart is with those mourning losses today. My prayer is they will find refuge under His wings. ❤️

\n

“He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day,”\n‭‭Psalm‬ ‭91:4-5‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2017-11-07T02:30:26-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/11/07/he-will-cover-you-with.html", "tags": ["Faith","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Wisdom","Forgiveness"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/11/06/when-its-all-bad-news.html", "title": "When It’s All Bad News", "content_html": "\"Cross\"\n

I watched the news last night and was reminded why I don’t watch the news. The sadness in my gut, the fear in the front of my mind, the sorrow for families of loved ones lost to senseless tragedy is unbearable. The news came through an alert on my cell phone as we left church yesterday. I grabbed Mr. Fixit’s hand and shared. His jaw clenched as he gripped my hand, silently taking it all in. Thinking…no doubt…that it could have been us.

\n

Church. Church is where we’re supposed to feel utterly safe. Yesterday’s tragedy in Texas was the third mass shooting in the last seventeen months…all of which were among the worst in U.S. history, according to USA Today. I don’t know about you, but I look around more these days. I wonder about people I don’t know. I ask myself if they could hurt me…or my loved ones. It’s taxing. I’m feeling the strain of fear. I don’t like this. I don’t like worrying. I don’t like wondering, not IF, but WHEN will it strike close to home?

\n

There is evil loose in this world and we’ve been rocked to sleep…complacent in our busyness. In our rush to beat the clock and get the most out of every day. Lists need to be made and checked off. Appointments need to be scheduled and kept. And the enemy doesn’t give a darn about any of it. He is only here to seek, kill, and destroy. Not only physically, but mentally and emotionally. He distracts us with the sparklies then swoops in with the spear…or, in this case, an assault rifle.

\n

When bad things happen and you are simultaneously grieving, everything is compounded and spins out of control. It’s difficult to remember there IS control in this world. There IS a winner. There IS a great comforter. When I hear and see reports of things like the shooting yesterday in Texas, I am inclined to feel fear. That fear is from the enemy. However, when I turn to God, He reminds me to put my trust in Him. The enemy whispers…”Ahhhh, yes. But will that bring back the twenty plus lost yesterday? What good is your trust if your God can’t save His people?”

\n

The enemy will not deter my faith. God doesn’t cause these horrific tragedies to occur. It breaks His heart to see his children suffer. What He DOES want is for us to turn to Him for comfort and solace in times of trouble. He wants us to continue to love. We love….because first, He loved us. There will always be senseless tragedies that we can’t explain. But…there will come a day when the things of this world will melt away and we will be freed from the shackles of fear and pain.

\n

I pray for the families of the innocents lost. I pray for the victims of this senseless shooting. I pray for the first responders and the citizens of this very small town in Texas where everyone knew everyone else. I pray for the family and friends of the shooter who may have known something was off…may have tried to get him help…may have never dreamed this could have happened. And I pray for the soul of the shooter. He could not possibly have been in his right mind so I pray for any healthcare workers who may have tried to help him but couldn’t. I pray for the pastor of the church where the shootings occured and for his wife. They were not at the church yesterday…but their fourteen-year-old daughter was one of those killed.

\n

No, I will not roll over…I will not let satan win by becoming consumed with fear and loathing. I will keep my faith in God and let Him sort the rest out. That being said…I will make my feelings about gun safety known to my elected officials. God wants us to turn to Him…but he needs us to suit up and show up and go into battle, too. ❤️

\n

“When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.”\n‭‭Psalms‬ ‭56:3‬ ‭ESV‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2017-11-06T02:30:02-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/11/06/when-its-all-bad-news.html", "tags": ["Faith","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Grace","God","Peace","Wisdom","Forgiveness"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/11/05/sweetness.html", "title": "Sweetness", "content_html": "\"Sweet\n

It seems like yesterday when I traced the delicate shell of my first baby’s ear. She was so tiny at just over five pounds. I was terrified I would break her. That was forty-three years ago. Twenty-seven years ago, I did the same thing with my second daughter. Thirteen years have passed since my first grandchild was in my arms and ten since I cradled her little sister. I thought it would be a long time before I got to hold a little baby again. But, along with Mr. FixIt came a brand new great grandchild and I’m in love all over again!

\n

Oh, this makes me ache for Big and Little…my sweet grand daughters in Colorado. I won’t get to see them till Christmastime. They are growing so fast…and without me. This is the hard part…the only downside…of living in West Virginia. Being so far away from my family. I wish I could tie a rope around Colorado and a rope around West Virginia and pull them closer together. My heart has two homes and sometimes it really hurts when I’m away from those I love. Holding this little sweet thing (who I am SURE is going to call me Gigi!) brings me all kinds of feels.

\n

We had a first yesterday. Our first dinner party together was quite successful. I used that electric pressure cooker again. This time I cooked a pork roast. Mr. Virgo only wanted pork roasts actually ROASTED in the over with EVO, garlic salt and pepper. I seared this roast in a hot skillet then placed it on a bed of sliced onions in the bottom of that pressure cooker, sprinkled it with fresh ground salt, pepper, rustic herbs and garlic and two cups of water. I cooked it on high for 45 minutes then turned it off and let the pressure come down on its own. I opened it and checked the meat and it wasn’t quite tender enough. I cooked it another 45 minutes (it was a big roast) and released the pressure. I let the roast rest in its juices while I made mashed potatoes, fried sauerkraut, green beans, fried apples and hot rolls. When the guests arrived, I tore off chunks of the roast with a fork and served it with the rest of the fixings on the side. It was wonderful and we all had a fun evening filled with fellowship and laughter.

\n

In case you forgot, daylight saving time is over. Turn your clocks back an hour. Have a blessed Sunday, dear ones. ❤️

\n

“Beloved, we are God’s children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is.”\n‭‭1 John‬ ‭3:2‬ ‭ESV‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2017-11-05T02:30:40-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/11/05/sweetness.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Strong Women","Hope","Fun","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Love","Peace","Forgiveness"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/11/04/i-spy-with-my-little.html", "title": "I Spy With My Little Eye...", "content_html": "\"Woman\n

Some very observant readers picked up on something in my picture yesterday. My inbox lit up like a Christmas tree! I didn’t answer the questions directly and suggested they come back today to read my post. I love a little mystery. What was it they saw? A ring…a shiny ring…on my left hand!!! squeeeee

\n

Yes, I have a ring! And in all fairness, so does Mr. FixIt. I gave him his first though. So here’s how it went down, what it means, and how we’re feeling about it.

\n

Early in the year, just a couple months after Mr. FixIt and I started seeing each other, we found out there was something wrong with his blood. The initial thoughts were he had leukemia. Suffice it to say, we were both pretty devastated about it. After all, we just “found” each other again after 45 years. It would be terribly tragic to turn around and lose him, too. He had more tests run and they were worse, so we went for a bone marrow biopsy.

\n

We had been talking about a life long commitment but that’s as far as it had gone. Then the blood thing came up. I wanted some way, some outward sign that would show Mr. FixIt that…no matter what the results of this bone marrow biopsy, I was in this for the long haul. I didn’t want him to worry or be afraid. I happened upon a beautiful gentlemen’s ring and in a moment of impulse, I bought it. We were leaving for the hospital when I pulled out the box and told him I wanted him to know…good or bad…I’m not going anywhere. I thought he was going to cry. He knew I was sticking with him, but the gesture was not lost on him. He asked if this meant we were engaged. Smiling, I said, “Halfway.”

\n

One evening we were going out to dinner with friends and I stopped by Mr. FixIt’s to get ready. I was sitting out front when he came home. He said, “Oh! You’re wearing my favorite dress!” I stood up and twirled around. He had a concerned look on his face and I thought. “Uh-oh. Somethings wrong.” He looked at me and said the dress was missing something. Something sparkly. Then he gave me this beautiful ring!

\n

Here’s where it gets complicated. This is the most personal I’ll ever get about our relationship. I don’t want to get married again. At least, not in the conventional way. I’ve had three husbands. That’s two other women’s quotas. It has nothing to do with how much I love Mr. FixIt…or Mr. Virgo, for that matter. When women of a certain age become widows, they qualify for “widow’s benefits”. If they get married, they lose that. Things don’t work in the widow’s favor in this regard. Therefore, a lot of very long engagements take place in my age bracket. And that’s just fine.

\n

From a faith standpoint, it slays me that women are forced to lose income in order to\ndo what God says to do. Someone said to me…”Well, you aren’t trusting God to provide.” To which my answer is…maybe He already provided. Maybe those widow’s benefits ARE his answer to prayer. The Lord takes care of those who help themselves. To me, it would be crazy to throw away money He had provided.

\n

Long engagements are still in vogue. I will be here for the long haul. The rest is a matter of semantics. So, no…there’s no date set. No fanfare. No hoopla. Just love. Lots and lots of love…always and forever. I’m sure I’ll be talking to God about it when I get to Heaven. I have a feeling it’s going to be a long conversation! ❤️

\n

Edit: He still has an abnormality which they have determined is not leukemia. They still don’t know what it is. We have to repeat the tests in six months. I’m sorry. I was writing this late and missed that piece.

\n

“…..may you ever be intoxicated with her love.”\n‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭5:19‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2017-11-04T01:30:20-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/11/04/i-spy-with-my-little.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Fun","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Peace","Holiday","Forgiveness","Humbled","Aging","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/11/03/the-promise.html", "title": "The Promise", "content_html": "\"Before\n

Three thousand seven hundred sixty-four. That’s how many days came between these two pictures. On the left, the day I married Mr. Virgo. Is it any wonder that handsome man wanted to marry me??? Look at that fresh face, smooth skin, dark hair with just a smattering of gray. Where are the wrinkles around my mouth? Where is all the proof of my sorrow and my joy?

\n

It was a warm spring day stuck smack dab between storms. They shoveled the snow off the balcony so we could get married outside. I had shopped and shopped for the perfect dress, finally finding it on eBay for $45! It was too big so my friend took it in for me. I loved the beads on the silk with hand painted flowers. I thought I looked like a million bucks!

\n

If I had it to do over again, I would have had Mr. Virgo plan the wedding. While it was lovely, it wasn’t until the honeymoon when he reminded me this is what he does for a living. I hadn’t even thought of that. I was just so darned excited to be marrying this great guy, I just barreled through like a bull in a china shop. I asked him why he didn’t say something, and in his sweet, self-deprecating way, he told me, “Sweetheart, it really is all about you. You were having so much fun with it, I just sat back and enjoyed the ride.” I started to ask him what he would have done differently and I know he would have said, “Nothing, baby doll. Not a thing.” Because, that’s the kind of guy he was.

\n

We stood before some seventy-five or so of our family and friends and shared our vows. We promised to always be there. Till death do us part. We had no idea at the time it would only be five years, eleven months, and five days till the unthinkable happened and he was gone.

\n

There is joy on that face on the left. Fresh with the wonder of love and a wedding and music and dancing and cake! Fast forward a decade and look…that face has aged. It has seen indescribable loss. The eyes have shed a river of tears. The hair has a lot of glitter in it. And, there is also joy on that face on the right. Fresh with the wonder of love and music and camping and great barbecue and the handsome man taking my picture….my life companion. The woman on the right is wiser. Older chronologically, but not in her heart. While I lost so much when I lost Mr. Virgo…I ended up gaining in the end. I have a much greater sense of adventure. I’m not so “in the box” as I used to be. I got out from under crushing debt and the weight of long held worldly goods. I figured out what’s really important in life. I’m SO different now than I was then.

\n

I am relieved to be this far down the road of this grief journey. The pictures I have of those weeks, months, years break my heart. I try not to think about the possibilities of having to walk that path again but I’m realistic enough to know it can happen. I know I could survive it again if I had to. But, for now…I think I’ll just hang on and go for the ride. The best is yet to be! I’m becoming a crone! ❤️

\n

“The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.””\n‭‭Genesis‬ ‭2:18‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n", "date_published": "2017-11-03T01:30:13-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/11/03/the-promise.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Humbled","Aging","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/10/28/soupnatures-tranquilizer.html", "title": "Soup...Nature’s Tranquilizer", "content_html": "\"Homemade\n

It was twenty-seven degrees here at the farm yesterday morning when I sent Mr. FixIt off on a guys trip to North Carolina. This leaves me on my own till Sunday night. I love this man…I truly do. AND, I love my alone time on occasion, so I’m sitting here in the dining room, in front of Grandma’s favorite window, classical music playing softly in the background. It is lovely outside…nearly sixty degrees, sunny, the last of the autumn leaves clinging desperately to the branches like quivering field mice bracing for winter’s chill. It is warm and cozy in this little, old farmhouse and I’m snug as a bug in a rug.

\n

The other day I told you I was making pot roast in the pressure cooker. That night after dinner, I added a can of green beans, a small can of sliced carrots, a can of diced tomatoes, and the leftover potatoes from dinner to the crock pot. When I say “‘crock pot” and “pressure cooker”, I am talking about the same appliance that also is a steamer. When I got rid of most of my belongings and moved into the camper, I didn’t want to be without the conveniences of my kitchen appliances and there wasn’t room for everything. That’s when I ran across this wonderful gizmo that does it all. It’s not very big, but its big enough for two and leftovers aplenty.

\n

I put the soup on and frankly…I forgot all about it till I was heading to bed. I came into the kitchen to lock the back door and noticed it was still cooking. Too hot to put in the fridge, I took the soup…pot and all…out to my truck and set it inside for the night as the temperature got down into the thirties. The next morning, I skimmed off the fat and plugged it back in to have ready for lunch. It was wonderful!

\n

Mr. FixIt was heading into town after lunch to help his ex with something. I sent him off with a container of soup and some crackers for her. Why cater to the needs of an ex-wife? Because…divorce may change a relationship status, but you can still be family. There is Christian loving-kindness to be considered. She is moving this week into her first home of her own. I remember what that was like after my divorce. I wanted her to know she is loved and cared for. It is the same love and kindness extended toward me from my exes’ wives. You can be bitter and angry and full of resentment with a divorce. Or, you can embrace the new member into the family circle. I know that doesn’t work for everyone, but I choose love. I always choose love. ❤️

\n

“We love because he first loved us.”\n‭‭1 John‬ ‭4:19‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2017-10-28T01:30:02-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/10/28/soupnatures-tranquilizer.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","West Virginia","The Farm","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/10/27/how-far-have-we-really.html", "title": "How Far Have We Really Come?", "content_html": "\"Ad\n

I have really been getting into nostalgia lately. The other day I shared my Pinterest page of Childhood Memories. When I have a few minutes, I go on and add a few more. It’s interesting how Pinterest works. When you click on something, you soon see more and more pins in that category and it’s been a fun walk down Memory Lane. Some of the memories I could do without, though.

\n

Eventually, I started seeing ads…legitimate ads…that reminded me of a time before “political correctness” became de rigueur. Ads about keeping women in their “place”. Ads about making little girls feel less unacceptable by dressing them in Chubettes. Ads about keeping slim for your man by taking amphetamines or gaining weight if you’re too skinny in order to be more attractive to the opposite sex. It makes my blood boil that generations of women…including my own…were made to feel “less than”. To be objectified…categorized…scrutinized. Ads like this one. I mean, seriously…what is this even about? What are they saying? “Wear these stylin’ kicks and your woman will worship the ground you walk on. As an added bonus, she’ll do it fabric free!”

\n

Finally…finally, finally, finally…these kinds of ads fell out of fashion. It became considered to be in poor taste to openly objectify women. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t still happen…it most certainly does as is evidenced by current events being reported. People of power often take advantage of those seen to be beneath them or weaker than they. Hopefully, this is a gut check and might strike a more even balance of power in the future.

\n

I was visiting one of the “widow pages” I frequent on Facebook the other day. The topic of one post was regarding the Hollywood actresses who went back to their abuser in order to get another part. She couldn’t understand how a woman could do that. This smacked dangerously close to blaming the victim so I had to step into the fray and offer my two cents. It IS difficult to understand how a woman could go back to the same circumstances and risk abuse again. That is, until you try to look through her lens. She’s an actress. It’s what she does. She depends on the power brokers of Hollywood to promote her, hire her, give her a break. The power broker knows this. He is emboldened…drunk with his position to make or break the careers of nubile young coeds. She (or he, as the case may be…actors are not exempt to abuse) knows what will happen if she is blackballed in Hollywood. She might as well go back to the Midwest or wherever she came from and get a job, because she or he will never work in Hollywood again. Everyone knows this. They just didn’t talk about it. And, finally…somebody told. The hoopla over it all will die down with the next news cycle but maybe some meaningful change will occur.

\n

We’ve come a long way, to be sure and there’s so much further to go. I understand people’s frustration with “political correctness”…sometimes even I think it can be excessive. But, when I was growing up, it was called being polite, doing the right thing, showing respect. The Golden Rule. Good manners. And there’s nothing wrong with exercising plenty more of that. ❤️

\n

“For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” But if you bite and devour one another, watch out that you are not consumed by one another.”\n‭‭Galatians‬ ‭5:14-15‬ ‭ESV‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2017-10-27T01:30:06-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/10/27/how-far-have-we-really.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Peace","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Humbled","Aging"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/10/26/farmhouse-obsession.html", "title": "Farmhouse Obsession", "content_html": "\"Farmhouse\n

In 1982, Hubby #2 and I moved into an old brick bungalow that had been the farmhouse before the area around it was developed. It was drafty and poorly insulated. Three quarters of the basement was bare dirt floor. The brick support pillars down there were crumbling and frankly, it was a pretty scary place. But the rest of the house was charming. Dark hardwood floors and built-in storage, tall ceilings and a sun porch, large windows you could fling wide open to catch the cool evening breeze…it was the closest I had come to living in an actual farmhouse since I’d left home at the tender age of twenty.

\n

Hubby #2 was in medical school when we moved into this rental. Even though it was a farmhouse, it was on a very busy street in east Denver. I had a big garden and flower beds everywhere. We grew as much of our own food as we could and I was very much into Mother Earth News. I made our bread, yogurt, granola and tofu. What I couldn’t grow, I bought at the neighborhood farmer’s market. I canned dozens of jars of green beans, pickles, tomatoes, jams and jellies in my huge country kitchen which looked very similar to this one.

\n

I have a total obsession with these porcelain farmhouse sinks. There’s nothing better for canning than one of these babies. The sink was huge and deep…perfect for washing large quantities of fruits and vegetables. A water bath canner could sit right down into the sink for easy filling. And two dishpans fit perfectly side by side for washing and rinsing dishes. My grandma’s farmhouse doesn’t have one of these sinks but I imagine the first one I ever saw was in West Virginia. I run across them every so often here but haven’t found just the right one. The laminate on the countertops in the farm kitchen is lifting and needs to be replaced. I’m thinking if I ever do that, this kind of sink is going in. The plumbing under the sink is getting pretty fragile so when it goes, it’ll be a perfect opportunity to do a little updating. It is, to be sure, just an earthly tent…but the home of my earthly heart.

\n

Speaking of plumbing, remember when I told you about leaving the bath water running and getting distracted by a phone call? I actually ran the well dry and this terrible, black water started coming out of the faucet. I spoke with one of the locals here and he said this hard water gunks up the insides of the pipes just like cholesterol in your arteries. When I let the well run dry, the “spurting” of air and water essentially roto-rootered the plumbing. Before that, the water smelled and tasted awful. Now, while I don’t think I’d drink a glass of it, I can stand to brush my teeth with it…but only after I tested the water. It’s hard, and slightly alkaline, but there’s no lead, pesticides, or bacteria. It’s really amazing the difference in the quality, before and after.

\n

The pot roast from yesterday was wonderful and is in a crockpot for vegetable soup today. It’s cold and rainy and we were expecting our first hard freeze last night. It’s time to get out the jeans and sweaters and boots and jackets. The only thing missing is a fireplace but this old house is all wood and I wouldn’t dare have one. We did change out the stove in the bathroom yesterday with one that has a thermostat. Now it shuts off and on rather than being way too hot or freezing with the manual shutoff.

\n

The fire in Parkersburg is dying down but still has smoldering hotspots. More information is being released about the owners and what they were doing in there. And, more importantly, what they WEREN’T doing…like correcting past environmental and safety violations. The owner, who has at least four other of these warehouses in the area packed with God knows what, is conveniently out of the country at the moment. Fines had been levied against them for these violations to the tune of $80,000…$60,000 of which remains unpaid. They’re still evaluating the air quality results. The first class action lawsuit was filed Monday. And the circus begins. I pray for the first responders and the folks who live nearby and in the path of the smoke cloud, which shifted continually with the direction of the wind. I pray this gets sorted out quickly. I hear Erin Brokovich has been alerted. I hope that helps. ❤️

\n

“For we know that if the tent that is our earthly home is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. For in this tent we groan, longing to put on our heavenly dwelling, if indeed by putting it on we may not be found naked. For while we are still in this tent, we groan, being burdened—not that we would be unclothed, but that we would be further clothed, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. He who has prepared us for this very thing is God, who has given us the Spirit as a guarantee.”\n‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭5:1-5‬ ‭ESV‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2017-10-26T01:30:48-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/10/26/farmhouse-obsession.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","West Virginia","The Farm","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/10/19/i-am-not-alone.html", "title": "I Am Not Alone", "content_html": "\"Prisma\n

Of all the comments I get on my blog posts, by far the most common is “It’s good to know I’m not alone.” When Mr. Virgo died, I felt like the only person on the planet. No one could possibly understand what I was feeling. I didn’t know how to find resources to help me feel better. I didn’t know who to turn to. I tried reading grief books but I couldn’t read. I couldn’t get beyond a sentence or two before my mind exploded. My family and friends were wonderful…don’t get me wrong. But I was sure even they couldn’t really get it because they hadn’t walked this particular path.

\n

I reached out through this page as much for me as I did for you. Maybe more so. And we both found out we’re not alone in this. That was HUGE for me. Knowing others were having the same or similar experiences gave me courage.

\n

I scroll through my files of pictures often for inspiration. Sometimes a particular photo will jump out at me and that’s the one I go with for my next post. Last night, it was this one. Mr. Virgo…big smile, twinkling eyes, and that shock of silver hair…in the afternoon sunshine at Rocky Mountain National Park on a day much like today. We had gone for a drive to view the elk and the bright yellow gold of the aspen leaves quaking in the breeze. It was a perfect day. As I scrolled through the photos and saw this one, two things happened. My heart squeezed for a few seconds. And I smiled. The smile is good. The squeeze in my heart still takes my breath away because it takes me by surprise.

\n

I had a beautiful day yesterday. It was a day much like the one in this picture. The sky was a brilliant cerulean blue. The temperature was reasonable in the high sixties, low seventies. I was with the man that I love. We had a really busy and full day winterizing another of the four campers. Lunch out. A granddaughter’s softball game. A trip to the Piggly Wiggly. A day. Just a normal day in a life. Some would say it was nothing special. I beg to differ…it was.

\n

Why was yesterday special? Because I get to love again. I get to look in another human being’s beautiful eyes and see love in return. Because I get to love…a lot. I get to love both of my ex-husbands and that great cowboy I dated for awhile. I get to love Mr. Virgo. And…I get to love Mr. FixIt. That is so special. I can still love all of them because I stretched my heart and made room

\n

“I am not alone” has taken on a new meaning now. I’ll never take that for granted. ❤️

\n

“fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”\n‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭41:10‬ ‭ESV‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2017-10-19T01:30:16-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/10/19/i-am-not-alone.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Humbled","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/10/18/a-birds-eye-view.html", "title": "A Bird's Eye View", "content_html": "\"Satellite\n

Have you ever gone on Google Earth and looked at the places you know? I remember one winter day before Mr. Virgo died. I was missing home…the dense, green woods and dusky purple mountains of West Virginia. Google Earth was still relatively new and they had just added the “street view” feature. I plugged in the address for Grandma’s farm, clicked on the little man icon, and…viola! I was “standing” in front of the farmhouse! I was SO excited! I quickly moved the map so I could “drive” down the two-lane blacktop the three miles, taking in every turn, house, and tree. It was mesmerizing. I could “go home” anytime I wanted to! I have “traveled” to Paris to see the Eiffel Tower, London to ogle Big Ben, Rome to see the ancient ruins…all from the comfort of the easy chair in my living room.

\n

The other night, Mr. FixIt was doing a little virtual traveling and he stumbled upon this. TOW-Wanda! MY camper…sitting right where I park her in the summer! I know approximately when this was. This is mostly uber cool…and, a little bit spooky in a Big-Brother-is-watching-you sort of way. It’s a good thing there was no nude sunbathing going on…for a vast number of reasons! ?

\n

This satellite photo was taken about fifteen months after Mr. Virgo died. I had been full-timing in my camper for about seven months at this point. I was interviewed yesterday for another episode of Janine Pettit’s Girl Camper podcast. This time we talked about full-timing…dream vs. reality. I’ll post a link when it goes live.

\n

Living on the farm has been such a treat that I’ve hardly thought about whether I miss all that time I spent on the road. The answer is yes…and no. Could I do that again? Yes! Would I? Maybe. I’m a lot more awake and aware now than I was back then. Grief brain may have clouded my judgement sometimes. But I’ve never regretted having that time alone out in the wilderness and backroads. I was so free and life was pared down to the bare essentials. There’s something to be said for simplicity. Janine asked me if I ever found myself lonely and I’m not sure I properly answered. I’m a people person. I’m gregarious and thrive in a place where I can have regular contact with people I know and love…friends and family that love me for who I am and I can let my hair down. I think that was the driving force behind allowing the Siren Song of the farm to lure me into planting some roots…at least for a while. And now…I have Mr. FixIt. We both love to travel and we never stay put for too long. But I’m looking forward to some nesting this winter. That’s the goodness of fall…it invites us to put another log on the fire, brew a nice cup of tea, and read a good book. The campers are put away for the season and I’m ready to be a homebody for a while. ❤️

\n

“By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established; through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures.”\n‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭24:3-4‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n", "date_published": "2017-10-18T01:30:29-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/10/18/a-birds-eye-view.html", "tags": ["Colorado","Travel","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","The Grand Adventure","Fun","West Virginia","The Farm","Growth","Gratitude","goRVing","Wisdom","Girl Camper","Girl Campers","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/10/17/getting-bolder-stories-not-stuff.html", "title": "Getting Bolder: Stories, Not Stuff", "content_html": "

\"Stories,Today’s post is a link to my most recent installment of “Getting Bolder” on the Sisters on the Fly blog. ❤️

\n

www.sistersonthefly.com/getting-b…

\n

“Since we have such a hope, we are very bold,”\n‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭3:12‬ ‭ESV‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2017-10-17T01:30:09-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/10/17/getting-bolder-stories-not-stuff.html", "tags": ["Faith","Colorado","Travel","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Sisters on the Fly","Positive Energy","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","The Grand Adventure","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Wisdom","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/10/16/me-too.html", "title": "Me Too", "content_html": "\"\"\n

Trigger warning…this is sensitive and may not be easy for some of you to read but it is important to discuss.

\n

Unless you never look at social media or listen to the news, there is no way you can avoid hearing about sexual assault this week. If you look at your Facebook or Twitter feeds, you may notice “Me too.” posted. No explanation. Just…“Me too.” If you are a woman in this world, you have been subjected to…or at the very least, exposed to acts of a sexual nature without your consent. My very first memory of something inappropriate was at my babysitter’s house when I was maybe five years old. She had teenagers and I was exposed to the daughter and her boyfriend having sex. There was also a boy there who exposed himself to me frequently. Sure…there was normal sexual curiosity as a child. We played “doctor”. This was beyond that.

\n

This picture was taken on Easter Sunday when I was eight years old. My family had just moved into this house at Christmas. About a month before my mom took this photo, a boy in the neighborhood…a senior in high school by my best estimation…had his hand in my pants. When he went for my friend, I grabbed her and ran. I told her mom. She pushed me out of the house and told me to never, ever say anything like that again. My lips are pressed tight in this picture, the corners of my mouth turned down. I never told another soul till I was 35, even when it happened again…this time with my best friend’s dad when I was 13. I was damaged.

\n

For years, my way of coping with what had happened to me was to suppress it. Make it smaller. I rationalized. There wasn’t penetration, so it must not be sexual abuse, right? Compartmentalize. Pretend. But it was always in there. When the older boys cat-called as I walked down the street. I was 11. When the maintenance man at the hospital remarked about the still-little-girl curve of my tummy not being “sexy”. I was 17. When the doctor slapped my butt with plaster on his hands leaving his handprints on my scrubs for all to see. I was 19.

\n

Over and over…men who hold important positions of trust, men who are “friends”, strangers on the street…slap us with behaviors that are clearly unacceptable and we’ve been told “Boys will be boys.” “What were you doing?” “What were you wearing?” The friend whose father molested me was being abused herself at the age of three. When she finally was brave enough to tell, her mom didn’t believe her. After all, her dad was an elder in the church.

\n

What came out of Hollywood this week has been happening throughout time. We’ve just been trained to be quiet. Don’t rock the boat. After all, who are they going to believe…you? Or the big man on campus? People knew. Of course they knew. People didn’t say anything. And when they DID say something, they were told to shut up and sit down or they lost their livelihood. This isn’t just a woman’s issue. This is a human character issue. Men have also been victims of abuse, but there are more female victims than male…by a long shot.

\n

My bottom line is this…talk. Look at your feed. See all the “Me too’s” and see how prevalent this issue is. Talk some more. Talk to your kids about what is ok and what is not. When my kids became the age I was when I was abused, I became hyper vigilant. Their dad didn’t understand how fast…how easy…it can happen. And by someone you know and trust. It doesn’t have to be a stranger. Also, be sure your kids are talking to THEIR kids.

\n

This is a messed up world we are living in. I spread a message of love and light every single day because I believe there is goodness in the world. But, bad things still happen and this is just so important to talk about…no matter how uncomfortable it is. My life was forever changed. My innocence taken away, way too early and that affected how I related to men and relationships. Therapy helped. My faith and forgiveness healed me…as much as you can ever be healed after such experiences. My abusers were untouched. They went on with their lives and who knows how many others were affected.

\n

There are so many good, upstanding men in the world. I have been blessed to have men surrounding me for quite some time who would never allow this type of behavior. That has made my life so much easier. Young women have a hard time still. Just remember…it’s ok to tell. It’s never to late to tell. ❤️

\n

“But if out in the country a man happens to meet a young woman pledged to be married and rapes her, only the man who has done this shall die. Do nothing to the woman; she has committed no sin deserving death. This case is like that of someone who attacks and murders a neighbor, for the man found the young woman out in the country, and though the betrothed woman screamed, there was no one to rescue her.”\n‭‭Deuteronomy‬ ‭22:25-27‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n", "date_published": "2017-10-16T01:30:46-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/10/16/me-too.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/10/15/a-perfect-fall-day.html", "title": "A Perfect Fall Day!", "content_html": "\"WVU\n

We couldn’t have asked for a more beautiful day for football yesterday. It was HOT…about 84…and not a cloud in the sky. The stadium was sold out and the crowd was great. West Virginia clearly got our butts whipped the first half. Frustrating calls, penalty flags out the wazoo, and eleven points down definitely put a damper on things. I was thinking to myself (ok…I MAY have said it out loud) that maybe college football games weren’t my thing. Mr. FixIt looked at me and said, “It’s not over yet…you just wait.” As if he somehow held a crystal ball and knew a change was coming.

\n

The halftime show was cool. The alumni band played because it was homecoming and they mentioned my friend Karen Nutter Ali as being the oldest alumni member playing. They crowned the homecoming king and queen. I ran into someone I knew. Then…the magic happened. The Mountaineers came out on the field looking less like an aberrant junior high school team and more like a well-oiled machine. Far less flags flew in the second half as the ’eers finally settled down and got it together. Down eleven points as they left the field at the half, they ended up trouncing Texas Tech 46-35 to win the game. They always play John Denver’s “Almost Heaven” at the end of every game but the atmosphere is electric when sung in victory. My heart swelled and I teared up as I sang along with 65,000 Mountaineer fans. It was glorious!

\n

After the game, we joined Mr. FixIt’s family for a tailgate party. I’m just now meeting more of his family and it was great fun! The meatball sliders I made were a big hit. Here’s the recipe.

\n

www.jessicagavin.com/grandmas-…

\n

Note: I used three pounds of ground beef so I added a little extra of the other ingredients to compensate. I also used jar sauce but added two cans of fire-roasted diced tomatoes and about a cup and a half of diet blackberry flavored fizzy water for a sweet kick. I used packaged hot rolls from the grocery store, cut them in half, added a meatball, a little sauce, and some shredded mozzarella cheese and topped with the other half of the roll to make a little sandwich. I arranged the sliders in two disposable aluminum baking pans. I brushed the tops with a little melted butter and sprinkled the top lightly with garlic salt, covered with foil and baked them at 375 until the cheese was melted. Yield: 24 sliders. These were SO good! I’ll definitely make them again.

\n

❤️

\n

“Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.”\n‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭13:8‬ ‭ESV‬‬

", "date_published": "2017-10-15T01:30:56-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/10/15/a-perfect-fall-day.html", "tags": ["Family","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Fun","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Love","Peace","Humbled"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/10/13/an-act-of-forgiveness.html", "title": "An Act of Forgiveness", "content_html": "\"Photo\n

Disclaimer: This may be a trigger subject with some. It is dreadfully sad but it touched my heart and I wanted to share with you. It is about the Holocaust and Forgiveness.

\n

Eva Kor was a young child when she and her twin were torn from their family upon arrival at Auschwitz, never to see them again. Under the direction of Dr. Mengele, they were both subjected to medical experiments that nearly killed them. By sheer will, they fought to survive and were liberated by Russian forces.

\n

For fifty years, Eva held on to her position of “victim”…and rightly so. Her life had been forever altered in ways we cannot even begin to comprehend. She is all that is left of her family. As the 50th Anniversary of the liberation of Auschwitz approached, she awoke one morning with an idea. What if she could forgive someone. She was often called upon to speak and recalled a Nazi doctor that had been at Auschwitz. She had met him at a conference. She figured he may still be alive so she found his phone number and worked up the courage to call him. I’ll let you watch the video and see how she found it in her heart to forgive the most heinous of acts.

\n

youtu.be/gdgPAetNY…

\n

We speak a lot here about forgiveness. Anger, bitterness, and resentment are the poisons we take hoping they will affect our enemies. Our enemies don’t care if we are eaten alive inside by negative emotions. They are going on with their lives in the nature of enemies…unknowing, uncaring. If my Lord and Savior has forgiven me of my sins, who am I to not do the same? I try to love others as Jesus loves me…even when they are my enemies. Eva’s act of forgiveness took a great deal of strength and courage. She was alienated from other Holocaust survivors for forgiving the Nazis who killed millions of their fellow citizens, friends, and family members. But she didn’t care. She didn’t do it for them. She did it for herself. I am in awe of that kind of heart…that spirit of forgiveness. My petty grievances pale in comparison. ❤️

\n

“Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.”\n‭‭Colossians‬ ‭3:12-15‬ ‭ESV‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2017-10-13T01:30:14-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/10/13/an-act-of-forgiveness.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Humbled"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/10/12/magic-hands.html", "title": "Magic Hands", "content_html": "\"Photo\n

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. I have always been prompt at getting my mammogram done every single year. I always had it at the same place for consistency. Still, even though it always niggled in the back of my mind that time was slipping by, I went a full three years without one. The fact that I am fairly diligent in doing breast self examination regularly was at least some consolation. But not all lumps and bumps can be felt. An exam and getting the tatas compressed is your best advantage for early detection of breast cancer.

\n

I had my mammogram done September 27th, a Saturday. I was up before dawn to go get this thing done. I was in and out relatively quickly. The technologist was friendly, knowledgeable, and the entire experience left me feeling confident in the Women’s Center at Camden Clark Memorial Hospital in Parkersburg. I left the appointment and met my girlfriends for coffee and it became a day like any other day.

\n

The following Wednesday, I went camping for a week and when I returned, there was a message on my home phone from the doctor’s office. Mr. FixIt and I looked at each other and I saw the slightest flicker of fear in his eyes.

\n

“I’m sure it’s fine, sweetheart. I’m a girl…girls are complicated. We’ve got all these parts we have to maintain. It happens all the time.” I said in my most reassuring voice. But he wasn’t buying it. And neither was I. I’d never been called back before. And I’d never had an ultrasound of my breast.

\n

My doctor’s office made an appointment for me for the following Tuesday…a whole week away. As much as I tried not to think about what it could mean, it was fruitless. I’ve worked in medicine almost my entire working life. I was married to a doctor who was the director of hospice. I was an x-ray tech. I know what I know. I ran through the risk factors. I used to drink more than I should have when I was going through a particularly difficult marriage/divorce but when the divorce was over, so was the drinking. I am not at my ideal weight and I don’t exercise as much as I should. The king sized plus for me is absolutely zero family history of breast cancer. By the time the appointment came around, I was feeling pretty confident this wasn’t cancer.

\n

Tuesday finally came. The technician who came out to get me was the same gal who did the first mammo. That was comforting…and good, in that her technique would be the same for comparison’s sake. She told me there were two places in the breast that caused them concern and she pointed them out to me. She proceeded to do another mammogram. This one used a compression paddle on the machine that squeezed a small, three inch circle…really squeezed. I won’t lie…it stung. No problem holding my breath for that one! When she had the top down views done, she changed the paddle to a five inch circle for the side views. Again, the compression took my breath away, but I wanted good compression so the radiologist could see what he/she was looking for. It was soon done and I was ushered to a waiting room. Once the radiologist said no more views were needed, I was taken to the ultrasound room.

\n

I’ve had ultrasounds many times, but never of my breast. They warm the gel! How nice! I’m laying there with my arm over my head and my boob hanging out in front of someone who was born the year I graduated from high school but, by golly, that gel was warm! The tech turned the screen slightly toward me and I saw what I had seen on the mammogram, only instead of being an oval, clearly encapsulated thing that looked much like a grape…I saw a black hole. My heart sank for a moment. Then my medical expertise came back and I thought about the physics of ultrasound. I soon reasoned what I was looking at was a fluid filled cyst and the vast majority of those are benign. Breathe.

\n

The tech moved to the other spot. This was more worrisome. It was calcification within some very dense breast tissue. I have what used to be called fibrocystic breast disease till they dropped the disease part, because…it isn’t one. It’s extremely common. The last time I had a mammogram, my doctor was musing to herself. “Hmmmm, I wonder why your left breast is so much denser than the right?” “Easy,” I said. “I’ve always been with right handed men” I think she peed a little. Anyway, I digress. I couldn’t make heads nor tails of what I was seeing in this exam area so I just laid back and let my mind wander. What was my gut saying? “This is ok. Don’t worry.”

\n

I was wandering through the mall yesterday, contemplating a pair of shoes, when the doctor’s office called. She said the doctor felt the findings were benign. They wanted to know if there was a family history of breast cancer. Since there is not, the recommendation is to repeat it in six months and if there are no changes, resume the yearly schedule. I didn’t realize I had been holding my breath as I sat down on one of the chairs in the shoe department. I thanked her and hung up. Relief spread over me and I immediately texted Mr. FixIt and my Prayer Warriors.

\n

One out of eight women get breast cancer. Unlike Julia Louise Dreyfus…today it was not me. Get your mammograms, girls. Save the tatas! ❤️

\n

“A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.”\n‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭17:22‬ ‭ESV‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2017-10-12T01:30:38-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/10/12/magic-hands.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","God","Peace","Wisdom","Humbled"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/10/11/free-spirit.html", "title": "Free Spirit", "content_html": "\"Woman\n

Much of my life was spent trying to conform…to not be too loud, too big, too much. To fit into the mold of who I (and others whose opinions I valued over my own) thought I should be. I was a doctor’s wife. I was supposed to fit in, entertain, volunteer. I converted to Judaism. I smiled, a lot. I had a perky voice. I did the best I could. And still, things unraveled, my marriage fell apart, and it darned near killed me.

\n

It took a long time, and a lot of therapy, to find my voice. So many times women hang their identity on a hook by the front door and become who they need to be…who they’re expected to be. I have two beautiful daughters who are wonderful adults. Honestly, I don’t know how they survived me because I was a hot mess back in the day.

\n

Mr. Virgo was the first man to really “get” me. He was patient and listened intently and fiercely supported me. He helped me see, and really FEEL, my value. When he died suddenly, my world and my self-confidence was rocked. When I was alone on my grief journey in the wilderness and backroads of Colorado in the first few months after he died, I really understood for the first time that it’s up to me to be happy. If we search for happiness from external things, we will always be disappointed.

\n

I had a Mr. Virgo-sized hole in my heart and a God-sized hole in my life. I couldn’t bring Mr. Virgo back, but I could…and DID…reach out to God to fill me up with a peace only He could give. My go-to scripture became “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Over and over, through long anxiety-riddled nights, I repeated it till I believed it…till I felt it in my bones. And magically, God filled in the empty, hurting places with a golden love-light like none I had ever known.

\n

I was telling someone yesterday…I loved Mr. Virgo with the white-hot heat of the sun. But I still never felt whole till I loved GOD with the white-hot heat of HIS Son. My light shines from within. I carry myself differently. I’m happy and content with myself and my life. And now? Now I have Mr. FixIt. I’m so glad he came into my life after I was broken open. I don’t know that we would have appreciated each other if this would have happened at any other time in our lives.

\n

God’s timing is so perfect. ❤️

\n

“Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? And not one of them is forgotten before God. Why, even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows.”\n‭‭Luke‬ ‭12:6-7‬ ‭ESV‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2017-10-11T01:30:38-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/10/11/free-spirit.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Fun","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Humbled","Aging","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/10/04/my-lovehate-relationship.html", "title": "My Love-Hate Relationship", "content_html": "\"\"\n

“It’s part of the camping experience!” This is the justifying battle cry of the die hard camper when it comes to the subject of campfires. But I have a distinct love-hate relationship with them. I love the crackling of the wood and the shower of sparks you get when you throw another log on. I love the welcome blast of heat when the night air has chilled me to the bone. I love splitting wood and the satisfaction of seeing a plentiful stack ready for a long winter. I burned wood as my primary source of heat for four long, cold Colorado winters and I cut, hauled, split, and stacked wood for four long, hot summers. I love a wood fire. I love a wood burning stove with a pot of stew bubbling on top in a cast iron Dutch oven.

\n

Those things I love…AND hate. I hate wasting natural resources and polluting the atmosphere. I hate the dirt and bugs you drag into your house when you burn wood. I hate spending all that time cutting, hauling, splitting and stacking only to watch all that hard work go up in smoke. And speaking of smoke….that is the number one thing I hate about a campfire. Seriously, it doesn’t matter WHERE I sit in the Sister circle around the campfire, the smoke ALWAYS comes straight at me. I get up and move…here it comes. Move back…it’ll find me. And I can’t breathe. It chokes me, hurts my lungs, burns my eyes, and I guarantee you everything I own will smell like I’ve been fighting a forest fire for a month. The worst thing is when the campfire dies down, you go to bed, and you lie there in your camper, windows open, hoping to catch a cool breeze or hear the owls, but noooooooo….in wafts this dank smell of wet ash and smoke mixed with fog and dew…creeping over the campground, up the outside wall, through the window and fills my camper. I’m forced to either close the windows and roast or leave them open and cough.

\n

This makes me sound like a boat load of fun to go camping with, doesn’t it? I try really hard to rein it in while I’m camping with others because I truly understand the campfire is a huge part of the camping experience for most people. So I play musical chairs a lot and try not to look too ticked off when the smoke inevitably finds me. But when I’m camping alone, I pull out my propane fire ring (this is the one I use but there are others Camp Chef Compact and Portable Outdoor Camping Gas Fire Ring with Lava Rock https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01GSGSRFO/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_vAn1zbZZ9SE81 ). I set up my chair, turn that bad boy on, roast a marshmallow or two, enjoy the heat, relish in the clear air, and turn it off at the end of the evening. No smoldering ashes to worry about setting the woods on fire. No smoke laying low over the campground and sneaking into my camper. No smelly hair, clothes, bedding, etc. I swear…when Mr. FixIt kissed me goodnight…he tasted like smoke. I kissed him anyway…I’m such a martyr.

\n

I love to camp and I love the looks and sounds of the campfire and the time shared with friends sitting around it. But if I had my druthers, I’d light up the gas fire and call it good. ❤️

\n

“Therefore let us be grateful for receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, and thus let us offer to God acceptable worship, with reverence and awe, for our God is a consuming fire.”\n‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭12:28-29‬ ‭ESV‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2017-10-04T01:30:45-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/10/04/my-lovehate-relationship.html", "tags": ["Travel","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","The Grand Adventure","Fun","West Virginia","goRVing","Love","Girl Camper","Girl Campers"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/10/02/the-last-hurrah.html", "title": "The Last Hurrah", "content_html": "\"1937\n

Hanging up the camper for the season is always so sad but TOW-Wanda will stay at the farm with me for a little while longer. I’ll need to clean her out really well and winterize her. We’re still up in the air about travel plans for February and March so I need to have her ready to face freezing weather.

\n\"Making\n

Yesterday was glorious. The Girl Campers gathered midweek at Beaver Creek State Park in Lisbon, Ohio and stayed through the weekend. A lot of time was spent around the campfire talking, laughing, and bonding. Hugs were plentiful as many broke camp yesterday and headed home. We had more gals in tents this year. We had a couple of gals who had minivans set up with beds in them which I found intriguing. It got really cold the last couple of nights (down into the 30’s!) so these gals are hardy souls! As Janine Pettit says… Girl Campers…we go places and we do things!"

\n\"Wooden\n

Some of the gals painted tennis shoes. One gal made kettle corn over the fire in a cast iron Dutch oven. She used a handmade wooden paddle that I coveted. I used a sandwich iron for the first time and grilled a sandwich of cream cheese with cinnamon butter on the outside. We visited the Pioneer Village where they use an old grist mill. I purchased some freshly ground corn meal and buckwheat flour. Then last evening, a 1937 International towed a little camper into the campground and I was smitten! I love old cars and this one was pretty funky.

\n\"Painted\n\"Old\n

We didn’t hear any owls last night. They seem to move around from place to place within the park. Beaver Creek is such a gorgeous place. This is my fourth time camping here. It’s only about four hours from home so it’s pretty easy to get here and I love the camphost. She’s a dear friend of mine. We are going to an apple orchard today before we head back to the farm. There’s lots to do at home to prepare for winter and it’s coming on fast. ❤️

\n

“So heap on the wood and kindle the fire. Cook the meat well, mixing in the spices; and let the bones be charred.”

\n

‭‭Ezekiel‬ ‭24:10‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2017-10-02T01:30:52-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/10/02/the-last-hurrah.html", "tags": ["Travel","Strong Women","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","The Grand Adventure","Fun","goRVing","Girl Camper","Girl Campers"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/10/01/camping.html", "title": "Camping", "content_html": "\"Woman\n

I went to church camp when I was thirteen. I remember having a wonderful time but I don’t quite remember what we did. My camping excursion this week has seriously felt like BEING at camp. This State Park (which I will name Monday) has the best naturalist. He organized a fly fishing class yesterday afternoon. Five of us went and had a grand time. One gal caught a little fish and was so excited. We were excited FOR her. We didn’t have waders. I had rubber rain boots and I promptly filled them by stepping in too deep. So I just kept on going and waded in up to my hips. I didn’t catch anything but it didn’t matter.

\n\"Stream\n

Our next activity was the “stream stomp”. We held a net across and below rocks in a riffle and someone would pick up the rock. The net would catch any little critters that had been hiding under the rock. Some children who were camping nearby joined in and it was so much fun watching them giggle and squeal over the crawfish and hellgrammites (dragonfly nymphs) that landed in our nets.

\n

I spent much of the afternoon with the publisher/editor of Ohio Valley Outdoors Magazine for an article they are doing about the Girl Campers. I was thrilled to represent this great group of gals and talk about Janine Pettit and all of her hard work with her podcasts. Gail Bable, the camphost of this park, joined me for some photos. I’ll let you know when the article comes out.

\n\"Woman\n

The next thing on the agenda was an archery lesson. I can’t remember when I last shot a bow but I remember I loved it. I originally learned archery in high school. It turns out, I’m a pretty good shot.

\n\"Ohio\n

The day ended with 27 people around a campfire listening to the park naturalist give a talk on honeybees. The entire day was fun and fascinating and one I will long remember. ❤️

\n

“When he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, “Put out into deep water, and let down the nets for a catch.” Simon answered, “Master, we’ve worked hard all night and haven’t caught anything. But because you say so, I will let down the nets.””\n‭‭Luke‬ ‭5:4-5‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2017-10-01T01:30:13-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/10/01/camping.html", "tags": ["Travel","Strong Women","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","The Grand Adventure","Fun","goRVing","Peace","Girl Camper","Girl Campers"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/09/29/fall-camping.html", "title": "Fall Camping", "content_html": "\"Fall\n

I don’t think there’s anything that beats camping in the fall. I do more camping in September than I do the rest of the year, total. The nights are crisp which makes for great sleeping. The days aren’t unbearably hot but still plenty warm to go out and do fun things. The mosquito population is much less intrusive by this time of the year making things more pleasant. I hate using insect repellents so this is a distinct advantage.

\n

I’m with the Girl Campers in one of my favorite state parks in Ohio. (I’ll tell you which one once I leave…I never divulge where I’m camping in real time.) Our numbers grew yesterday so there were more chairs around the campfire last night. One of the Misters of the Mister-Sisters showed up and he thoroughly enjoyed himself sitting around the campfire with all these women.

\n

I spent the day visiting with the girls and getting my camper set up. We didn’t get a chance to clean and organize after the last camping trip. The weather really cooled off yesterday and into the night. I put the electric blanket back on the bed. That comes in handy at about 4:00am.

\n

Besides seeing old friends and meeting new ones, the best part of last night’s campfire was the barred owls. They were talking all around us and it was SO cool. At one point, one was in the tree right above TOW-Wanda and was really loud. I love hearing them. I took my spot light out but couldn’t see any.

\n

This is probably the last big camping trip of my season so I’m going to enjoy every minute of it. And, since this is a Mister-Sister trip, my Mr. FixIt is joining me later on today! It’ll be the first time I get the chance to introduce him to my camping friends and I’m really looking forward to it! More gals arrive today…the more, the merrier! ❤️

\n

“That evening quail came and covered the camp, and in the morning there was a layer of dew around the camp.”\n‭‭Exodus‬ ‭16:13‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2017-09-29T01:30:34-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/09/29/fall-camping.html", "tags": ["Travel","Strong Women","Positive Energy","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","Fun","Gratitude","goRVing","Girl Camper","Girl Campers"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/09/24/when-the-partys-over.html", "title": "When the Party's Over", "content_html": "\"Camper\n

Girl time is important to me. Yesterday it was coffee with a few of my home girls…the ‘71 Divas Do Coffee. We figure Starbucks is cheaper than therapy. I popped into the Women’s Center at 7:00am to get the tatas smushed (Save the Tatas, ladies. Get your mammograms!) then ran over to the hotel to wait for my tribe. They never disappoint. Once we were properly caffeinated and had solved the world’s problems, we went our separate ways till next month.

\n

Two weeks ago it was twenty-four Sisters and last weekend it was four Girl Campers. On Wednesday, I meet up with thirty-five or so Girl Campers (and some Mister Sisters) for five nights of fun and frolic in eastern Ohio. Given the week I just had, I promise you there will be napping involved!

\n

The anticipation of a trip is delightful. We “meet” ahead of time on the Meetup app page or a Facebook page to get to know one another and get directives. We send messages back and forth. We share recipe ideas and weather forecasts. We count down how many sleeps till we get there. It can be a little stressful…especially when you are new at it. But overall, you should just go with the flow and have fun.

\n

The day you arrive at the event, you get unhooked and do any decorating you might like in and around your camper. I had two huge tubs of decorations I used to use but have pared way back since my camper is for living in, not necessarily for showing off. Once you’re settled, you go around and greet old friends and make new ones with the common bond of loving outdoors adventure. The fun commences in earnest!

\n

The first night is usually a meet-and-greet potluck. The second might have a low scale event and the third night is usually an all out blowout. You fall in bed, tired and happy. But then comes the inevitable and you have to say goodbye. It’s like summer camp when we were kids and we cried when we had to say goodbye. There’s definitely a certain melancholy that comes over you when you hook up and head home. But you promise to do it again. And you exchange recipes and contact info and ride off into the sunset.

\n

I love this picture that was posted on the Sisters on the Fly page yesterday. I asked the photographer for permission to use it, which she graciously gave. It really summed up that melancholic feeling you get when the party’s over. Thank you, Rebecca, for such a great shot! ❤️

\n

“As soon as he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.”\n‭‭1 Samuel‬ ‭18:1‬ ‭ESV‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2017-09-24T01:55:09-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/09/24/when-the-partys-over.html", "tags": ["Travel","Strong Women","Sisters on the Fly","Positive Energy","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","Fun","Growth","Gratitude","Peace","Girl Campers"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/09/23/back-in-the-saddle.html", "title": "Back in the Saddle!", "content_html": "\"Toy\n

You can’t keep a good gal down for long! I still felt a little rough yesterday morning but once I had a couple cups of good, strong coffee and a bowl of oats in me, I was pretty much good to go. Mr. FixIt mowed the lawn for me here at the farm and wouldn’t let me help. I felt pretty guilty being lazy while he was out working. By the time he was done, and I had rested, I was feeling bored so we went for a ride.

\n

Our first stop was Volcano Days. No, it has nothing to do with molten lava and everything to do with oil and gas. This is in celebration of the people I heard about on the tour we gave the Sisters on the Fly when they were here a couple of weeks ago. The Flywheel Club brings their little pumps and big pumps and start them up. Some run to just show you what they can do. Others run washing machines or ice cream freezers or saw mills. There was a giant flea market, a large concession area and a stage with live entertainment.

\n

Mr FixIt can’t go anywhere without running into five people he knows and last night was no exception. We wandered through the booths and I bought a Griswold No. 8 704S cast iron skillet for twenty bucks! I love Griswolds. They’re smoother on the cooking surface and they’re great for frying anything, as long as they are properly seasoned as this one is. . I love frying potatoes in them. The new Lodge cast iron skillets are too rough in the bottom.

\n

After dinner, we drove on into town to see the aftermath of the demolition. A trailer Mr. FixIt owned was torn down yesterday and we went to see the empty lot. It looked massive without the trailer there. We ended the evening with dinner at Bob Evans. I’m still babying my tummy and the comfort food of chicken pot pie hit the spot.

\n

This video (on the Facebook page only) from Volcano Days shows a large pump that came off a well. I wanted you to hear this because this is a sound from my youth. I was awakened from a sound sleep many summer mornings to the crack, crack, crack of these engines as they were started up by the pump guys to run the wells. I loved hearing them again.

\n

Thank you all for your kindness when I was feeling under the weather! You really helped! ❤️

\n

“Dear friend, I hope all is well with you and that you are as healthy in body as you are strong in spirit.”\n‭‭3 John‬ ‭1:2‬ ‭NLT‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2017-09-23T01:55:13-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/09/23/back-in-the-saddle.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Fun","West Virginia"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/09/17/going-places-doing-things.html", "title": "Going Places, Doing Things", "content_html": "\"1972\n

One of the coolest things about any group of camping women…be it Girl Campers or Sisters on the Fly or any of the others…you are just about guaranteed to have a great time, make new friends, and do fun stuff. This weekend has been no exception. The Country Living Fair was full of eye candy, to be sure. But sitting around with your Sister friends, laughing, talking, eating, and sharing a slice of life is priceless.

\n\"1972\n

This particular weekend is always fun for me because I get to hang out with my good friend and mentor, Janine Pettit. And, because the girls had their campers on display at the fair, we “camped” at the Holiday Inn. My roommate was Jill Evans. Jill is nearing the empty nest era and recently purchased a 1972 Airstream Landyacht. Fortunately, all the major mechanical stuff was just about done. But when she received it, the interior was that familiar dark brown that many women have come to loathe in an RV. She set to work fine tuning the interior and the results are stunning.

\n\"1972\n

The first thing she did was remove the oven from the wall. She then covered the wall with light pine. She and her dad worked on it together, and while she says the wall isn’t perfect, it was special working with her father on the project. Jill used a liquid sander and wiped down the interior surfaces, removing a lot of accumulated “gunk” then painted three coats of Valspar paint/primer over nearly everything but the floor. She replace the old Formica countertop with a dark wood laminate that looks all the world like a solid butcher block.

\n\"1972\n

Jill’s decorating style is impeccable. Her choices are at once delightfully pleasing to the eye and governed closely. Not too much…not too little. You’re left feeling peaceful and welcomed in this great white space. Perhaps I can call on my new Sister/friend when it’s time to decorate Joy! I’m hoping to have her finished next year to display here at the 2018 Country Living Fair! ❤️

\n\"1972\n\"\"\n

“There are “friends” who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother.”\n‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭18:24‬ ‭NLT‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2017-09-17T01:55:19-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/09/17/going-places-doing-things.html", "tags": ["Travel","Strong Women","Sisters on the Fly","Camping","Gratitude","Girl Camper","Girl Campers","Country Living Fair"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/09/16/my-lot-in-life.html", "title": "My Lot in Life", "content_html": "

 

\n\"Windmill\n

For those of you who’ve been following me for awhile, you remember what a struggle it was to downsize when I sold my house. Getting rid of 95% of my personal belongings just a year after losing Mr. Virgo was very stressful. I have been so careful not to accumulate “stuff” again. But, I’ve got to tell ya…this Country Living Fair is exceptional. I think this is my third in a row and it seems each one gets better. I will have to say, there were a lot more people here on opening day than the last two years. If that’s any indication of the overall attendance, we’re in for a whale of an event!

\n

When you work a Fair such as this, you try to have enough people helping that you can take breaks and wander around. As I was walking over to the main stage for Janine’s talk yesterday, I spied some windmill vanes and stopped after to price them. The one in this photo was a half vane for $600! One with two less fins was $400. Still way out of my price range. My daughter’s sister-in-law has one she got from the family ranch and has it mounted on the wall in her dining room. I’d love to have one, but A) I’m not spending that kind of money and B) I don’t have anyplace to put it right now, and C) experiences before stuff. I could have a really great trip for $600.

\n

Wandering the aisles of the fair is so tempting. I will tell you what I bought yesterday. A nice serving of Miss Parolee’s Kentucky Deep-Dish Blackberry Cobbler warmed up with a scoop of Vanilla Ice Cream. Windmill vane. Miss Parolee’s cobbler. I think I made the better choice! ❤️

\n

“Even so, I have noticed one thing, at least, that is good. It is good for people to eat, drink, and enjoy their work under the sun during the short life God has given them, and to accept their lot in life. And it is a good thing to receive wealth from God and the good health to enjoy it. To enjoy your work and accept your lot in life—this is indeed a gift from God. God keeps such people so busy enjoying life that they take no time to brood over the past.”\n‭‭Ecclesiastes‬ ‭5:18-20‬ ‭NLT‬‬

\n", "date_published": "2017-09-16T01:55:20-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/09/16/my-lot-in-life.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Fun","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Peace","Wisdom","Girl Camper","Girl Campers","Country Living Fair","Uncategorized"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/09/15/ooooompapa.html", "title": "Ooooom-Pa-Pa!", "content_html": "\"Menu\n

I arrived at the Country Living Fair in the early afternoon yesterday and met my Girl Camper friends. We had to wait our turn to pull the three campers into the grounds so we sat around and nibbled on finger foods and caught up with what’s been going on in each other’s lives. Girl Camper extraordinaire, Janine Pettit, regaled us with stories of her epic month long trip to the National Parks out west this summer. Gail shared that her daughter is going to live overseas for a year. Jill was excited about her new-to-her Airstream she recently redecorated. I shared the article from the Fidelity online magazine. Sisters and Girl Campers always pick up where we left off the last time.

\n

I don’t know if you’ve ever gone to a Country Living Fair but the amount of work that goes on in the background to set something up this massive and intricate is astounding. We drove in on cue when it was our turn. The area where we set up is pretty tight and it took a great deal of maneuvering to get all three campers in just right. I’m glad I have some mad backing up skills because they came in handy yesterday!

\n

Once the three campers were set up, they had to be “staged”. You’ve all seen those cute campers in the magazines with all the vintage collectibles or great quilts or baskets of flowers? All those things were placed there with an eye much more skilled than mine. When these girls were finished, it looked just like a photo shoot! I can’t wait to take pictures today!

\n

As I walked through the fair grounds, the displays were eye candy for someone who cannot resist the colorful, glossy pages of Country Living Magazine. It’s like the magazine itself has come alive…its pages exploding on the grounds all around you! Antiques, linens, rusty farm implements, artsy clothing and jewelry…you name it, it’s here. Including the kitchen sink. It’s truly one of the most beautiful fairs of its kind in the country. I’m so looking forward to browsing when I can.

\n

I’ve read Country Living Magazine for years. Now that I’m living a country life, it would be so easy to accumulate too much stuff again and, seriously…I really don’t want to go through that kind of downsizing ever again. I carefully curate what comes in my house now. I only have what is useful and I know to be beautiful. The trouble is…there is SO much that I find beautiful. So my third measure is…Would I rather have this “thing” or go someplace with that money. Experience over stuff wins just about every time.

\n

We ended the evening at a German restaurant where the highlight of the evening was a group of dinner guests playing cowbells to the tune “Edelweiss”. You can’t make this stuff up!

\n

Stay tuned…I may not be able to resist some extra posts today when I see something pretty! ❤️

\n

“Each of us should please our neighbors for their good, to build them up.”\n‭‭Romans‬ ‭15:2‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2017-09-15T01:55:43-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/09/15/ooooompapa.html", "tags": ["Travel","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Sisters on the Fly","Positive Energy","The Grand Adventure","Fun","Growth","New Ideas","Gratitude","Wisdom","Girl Camper","Girl Campers","Country Living Fair"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/09/14/he-will-cover-you-with.html", "title": "He Will Cover You With His Feathers", "content_html": "\"Wings\n

It’s hard to believe exactly four-and-a-half years ago, I was preparing a funeral for a man I never dreamed of losing. Mr. Virgo was gone in a heartbeat, literally, and I was left to make some sense and order out of the chaos left behind. Looking back on it with today’s vision, I can see so many things I would have done differently. I don’t think I made huge mistakes, but I think if I would have known then what I know now, there are definitely things I would have done differently.

\n

I hosted the Sisters on the Fly event over the weekend and there were a couple fairly new widows there. They did well, enjoyed themselves, and were very capable campers. I could see through all that to the pain that lay beneath the surface. I recognized them…I was there not all that long ago myself.

\n

A couple of years ago, I was contacted by a writer and published author of many books on women and finance. She was writing an article for the New York Times on widowhood and retirement and asked if she could interview me. We have stayed in touch over the last couple of years and she has followed my blog. Recently I heard from her again. She had been asked by Fidelity to write an article about widowhood and investing and immediately thought of me. We spoke again and I shared those things I felt I did right, and those I could have…should have…done differently.

\n

The article for Fidelity’s “Viewpoints” online magazine went live yesterday and I am sharing it with you here. From the beginning, this blog was meant not only as a way to share and heal my own grief, but also to serve as a place to learn, grow, and experience support if you are grieving, and preparation if you aren’t. Knowledge is power and grief makes you feel totally powerless. I wish I would have had a grief mentor in my early stages of loss. I try to be that person for others. If it weren’t for God covering me with His feathers to guide, guard, and protect me, I never would have survived such a loss.

\n

And now, here I am nearly five years after losing Mr. Virgo and I not only have survived, I am thriving. New life, new love, new experiences. I never would have dreamed this was possible. Today I leave for the Country Living Fair in Columbus, Ohio. Please stop by for a visit if you are in the area! ❤️

\n

https://www.fidelity.com/viewpoints/personal-finance/8-financial-tips-for-widows

\n

“He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.”\n‭‭Psalm‬ ‭91:4‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2017-09-14T01:55:17-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/09/14/he-will-cover-you-with.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Wisdom","Girl Campers","Country Living Fair"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/09/12/the-jersey-girls.html", "title": "The Jersey Girls", "content_html": "\"The\n

We had such a mish-mash of gals at the SOTF event this weekend. I’ve heard so much about Jean Taylor over the years that I felt I already knew her, even though we’d never met. She came with three of her umpteen cousins and they were an absolute hoot and a half. They love to “camp”. As a matter of fact, Jean owns a campground in New Jersey. I am not sure how “campy” the others get, seeing how the sum of their experience thus far seemed to be staying in the motor home at the campground. But I loved them. You know why? Because they didn’t know you could make ice cream by hand. They’d never seen the Milky Way. They hadn’t heard of clogging in any other sense than what cholesterol does to your arteries. They were delightful!

\n

One story they told was how, very early on, their great grandfather lived in WV. He was an Italian immigrant and a miner with a huge family. And, as any good Italian did, he made wine for their consumption. Apparently, the revenuers caught wind of this, raided his home and broke all the bottles of wine. Great-grandma sent one of the kids to the mine to tell papa not to come home and why. He took off for New Jersey and stayed there till grandma could get there with the children. Thus, they put down roots in NJ. If not for the revenuers, how many more West Virginians would we have?

\n

I named them “Honorary Hillbillies”…those wonderful Italian women from New Jersey!

\n

We also had a published author of historical romances. A woman who owned a farm, played guitar, and is learning to drive horses. There were a few widows. There was a woman simultaneously going to college and living in her new Airstream as she explores the country over the next eighteen months. There were three moms of autistic children who bonded over that. There were artists and nurses, retired and employed. They slept in everything from cars to tents to vintage campers to modern campers to a brand new Airstream. Yet they all have one thing in common…they are Sisters. A fact that is never taken lightly. I am so proud to be a member of this organization and look forward to more gatherings with them. ❤️

\n

“She is more precious than jewels, and nothing you desire can compare with her.”\n‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭3:15‬ ‭ESV‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2017-09-12T01:55:31-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/09/12/the-jersey-girls.html", "tags": ["Travel","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Sisters on the Fly","Positive Energy","Camping","Fun","West Virginia","Growth","New Ideas","Gratitude"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/09/06/sisters-on-the-fly.html", "title": "Sisters on the Fly", "content_html": "

\"Sisters \"\" \"\"

\n

What is Sisters on the Fly?

\n

It’s the world’s largest outdoor adventure group for women. We have affected the lives of over 9,000 women from around the world. Our motto is “We have more fun than anyone!” And it’s true! Sister gatherings are jam packed with fun and we turn women into girls.

\n

What do the Sisters do at their gatherings?

\n

We do a number of things! Some of us fly fish. Some ride horses or mountain bikes. We love to go junkin’ and eat great food. Some hike. Some play and listen to music. Whatever floats your boat. And speaking of floating your boat, we are going to ride the sternwheeler on the Ohio River over to visit the Blennerhassett Mansion this week. We love to eat so we’re going to have an old fashioned weenie roast. My Pop-Pop whittled the end of sharp sticks for roasting weenies and marshmallows. We’ll serve them the WV way with sauce and slaw. We are playing music and listening to music and maybe even clog dance. Sisters will try just about anything!

\n

How can I be a Sister?

\n

You can have more fun that anyone by heading over to www.sistersonthfly.com and signing up. Dues are $70 a year and there are gatherings of every interest all around the globe.

\n

What kind of women become Sisters on the Fly?

\n

Bold women. Shy women. Women with campers. Women with tents. Women who prefer the lodge or a fine hotel or a cabin. Single women. Taken women. Married women. Widowed women. Young women. Old women. Key word is Women. No men. (Sorry, guys!) No kids. (Sorry, kids!) and, no pets.

\n

These gals love to eat! I shopped yesterday. Such a wise shopper I have become. This big grocery cart ended up costing $150! I was impressed. We will see how the menu and activities go over. I’ve done the planning, the shopping and the prep. As my friend V says…it’s time for the fun! ❤️

\n

“Her ways are ways of pleasantness, and all her paths are peace.”\n‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭3:17‬ ‭ESV‬‬

\n

(Photos from older Sisters on the Fly gatherings.)

\n", "date_published": "2017-09-06T01:55:09-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/09/06/sisters-on-the-fly.html", "tags": ["Travel","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Sisters on the Fly","Positive Energy","TOW-Wanda!","The Grand Adventure","Fun","West Virginia","Growth","New Ideas","Gratitude","Love","Peace"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/08/24/ahhhhindiana.html", "title": "Ahhhh...Indiana!", "content_html": "\"Waze\n

I’m beginning to really like this state. I have been to Bloomington in the south. I’ve been back and forth along the I-70 corridor countless times. I spent a weekend here in Richmond in December 2015 when my daughter graduated from Miami University. And now I’m on my third camping excursion here. We picked TOW-Wanda up yesterday and she’s pretty as can be. They detailed her after putting on the new axle. I checked the hub temperature with my new infrared digital thermometer after driving a few miles and it was right around 97-98°. It may give me a false sense of security since the service guy told me “if it’s too hot, it’s too late.”

\n

Just after we turned onto I-70 from I-77, we came to a standstill. As far as we could see, cars and trucks filled the highway like a parking lot in all three lanes. I was just telling Mr. FixIt I wished I had the extension app on my Garmin GPS to tell me about traffic when I remembered Waze. Some of my Sisters on the Fly friends were just discussing the merits of this free GPS app that is populated by user input. I had tried it a couple of years ago and didn’t like it so I took it off. I figured I couldn’t lose anything and I was sitting in a giant parking lot on the interstate so I downloaded the app and turned it on. Sure enough, it showed my location and several people up ahead posted what was going on…a car fire. When we finally started moving, there was not one, but two burned out shells of cars alongside the highway. I’ll have to see if I can find a news story about it because it was pretty impressive. I have unlimited data on my cell phone so I kept Waze running. Whenever there was a hazard, a policeman, or even a pothole in the roadway, the app let me know with an electronic voice. I’ll be using it whenever I drive.

\n

The other thing I wanted to tell you about was this really cool tool I bought at Costco. I’ve been wanting a windshield mount for my cell phone and found a package of two at Costco when we were in Colorado. I gave one to Mr. FixIt for his truck and I put the other in mine. Now I can run Waze AND my GPS as I drive and have an unobstructed view of the road. I can answer calls hands free. I can even ask Siri to read my text messages and answer them by dictating and never take my eyes off the road.

\n

If you find yourself in Richmond, Indiana in need of RV services…see Matt Green at Camping World. If you need a great campsite that’s easily accessible, check out Grandpa’s Farm Campground. And if you want a really great meal, go to O’Charley’s. Excellent! There are my PSA’s of the day. Helpful hints for your traveling pleasure…and, I get to sleep in TOW-Wanda again!!! ❤️

\n

“In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.”\n‭‭Psalms‬ ‭4:8‬ ‭ESV‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2017-08-24T01:55:30-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/08/24/ahhhhindiana.html", "tags": ["Travel","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","The Grand Adventure","Fun","New Ideas","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/08/21/the-sky-is-falling.html", "title": "The Sky is Falling!", "content_html": "\"Eclipse\n

Well, no…it’s not. I read a tweet yesterday. Teachers announced to the children there was going to be a total solar eclipse and the entire student body looked up and yelled, in unison….“NOOOOOOO!!!!!” I had dinner with a dear friend last night. He said one of his granddaughters is scared to death about the eclipse. She is convinced something horrible is going to happen because all she has heard is the urgent warnings not to go outside and look up.

\n

In keeping with all things eclipse-ish, here are three odd images that only occur during a total eclipse. The first two demonstrate a phenomena that occurs immediately following totality. It’s called “shadow bands” and looks like the ripple effect on the bottom of a pool. It is a sort of glittery effect cause by the atmosphere very close to earth. The third picture is the sunlight passing through the leaves of trees. The spaces between the leaves acts like a pinhole camera. I thought it was one of the pretty cool things about the eclipse.

\n

This eclipse has taken over “the path”…that sixty mile wide swath of land that cuts the US diagonally into two pieces…sort of like a grilled cheese sandwich. I read that for the few seconds that the moon totally covers the sun, you can actually look at it with the naked eye and see the rays radiating out from the side like a halo. That’s only in the area of totality. I’m not risking looking at anything that can turn my retina into Swiss cheese. I’ll use the pinhole projector method.

\n

The world will be back to its regularly scheduled programming tomorrow so until then…It’s Monday. It’s Eclipse Day. Be safe out there!

\n

❤️

\n

“I will say of the LORD, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.””\n‭‭Psalm‬ ‭91:2‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2017-08-21T01:55:12-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/08/21/the-sky-is-falling.html", "tags": ["Strong Women","West Virginia","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/08/20/umbraphilesthe-shadow-lovers.html", "title": "Umbraphiles...The Shadow Lovers", "content_html": "\"Total\n

They’ll chase an eclipse…clear across the ocean if they have to. They are umbraphiles. The Shadow Lovers. In 1972, Marcy Sigler chartered a ship, gathered 830 of her closest friends, and took off across the waters from\nNew York to Nova Scotia to chase the eclipse and make it last as long as possible. There won’t be another total solar eclipse viewable in the continental United States for 180 some odd years so there are, as you well have seen, a gazillion umbraphiles coming out of the closet.

\n

There are a lot of weird warnings out about the solar eclipse and it’s affect on everything from pregnancy to pets. An Indian newspaper recently warned women not to go outside during an eclipse to keep them from giving birth to a blind baby or one with a cleft lip. Eskimo women must place their cooking utensil upside down during an eclipse to ward off diseases. Also, some Indians wash their eyes out with urine during an eclipse to keep your eyes from ever hurting again.

\n

I just received an e-mail from some veterinary outfit warning everyone to bring their pets into the house during a solar eclipse to prevent them from “looking up at the sun and being blinded”. Ok…is there a rash of beagles going outside at noon on any given day and staring at the sun? And if that’s the case, how about cats, and rats, and elephants? Actually, animals don’t take much notice of the sun. Pets may take notice of your excitement and react to that. You don’t need to put those cute little glasses on FiFi but if it will make you feel better, you can bring your pets in, draw the shades and let them watch the eclipse on television like respectable animals.

\n

That being said, there may be some behavioral changes in the animal kingdom. Birds that roost may become quiet and prepare for a nap while nocturnal creatures may get the signal to wake up. The darkest moments of the eclipse occurs so quickly though that those night critters will probably just yawn and turn over and go back to sleep.

\n

Now, one very real thing that may occur is the decrease in electricity from all the solar arrays in the path of the eclipse. As more and more communities produce more and more solar energy, an eclipse may be more noticeable with decreased output…especially when the eclipse occurs during the summer and during peak energy use times of the summer. I’m not sure what will happen, but there some potential for disruption.

\n

I was wondering if anyone has calculated the carbon footprint of the eclipse and how all the increased driving and production of waste would affect the environment. But maybe I’m just being too, you know, scientific here. It’s still a pretty cool event and if you have a chance to watch one, you really should. Just remember to never stare at the sun without the proper protection. Be safe and have fun tomorrow. We’ll talk Tuesday about what you did and what you saw! ❤️

\n

“The sun and moon will be darkened, and the stars no longer shine.”\n‭‭Joel‬ ‭3:15‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2017-08-20T01:55:38-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/08/20/umbraphilesthe-shadow-lovers.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Sisters on the Fly","Positive Energy","New Ideas","Peace","Wisdom","Peaceful Moments"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/08/17/my-hometown.html", "title": "My Hometown", "content_html": "\"Sunset\n

There was a time in my life when I didn’t think much of my home town. I considered it terribly backwoods in comparison to the metropolis of Denver. To my chagrin, I recall making disparaging comments about Parkersburg, and West Virginia in general to anyone and everyone. It’s a wonder they didn’t revoke my home state status and mark me down as “hatched from under a rock”. What can I say? I never rebelled as an adolescent. I saved it all for long after I should have known better.

\n\"Parkersburg\n

I remember making such comments to one of my oldest, dearest friends. We went to high school together and we’re “sisters of different parentage”. As a matter of fact, when I went off to live outside London for two years then settled in Denver, it was my high school friend who kept a close, personal friendship with my mom. She was a much better daughter to her in those days than I was. When I spoke ill of my fellow Mountaineers and this Wild and Wonderful state, she had some pretty stern words to say to me.

\n\"Woman\n

“You just remember where you came from, missy. I knew you when you had nothing, just like me!”

\n

Oh, she was so right. I was feeling pretty full of myself…a doctor’s wife and all. Like…small town girl does good. I was an ass. Plain and simple. And I’ve done my best to make up for it. As Maya Angelou said…“We do what we know. And when we know better, we do better.” These last three years, I’ve spent more time in West Virginia than I had in all of the forty years prior. I’ve grown to love and appreciate this rugged state filled with can-do, sturdy individuals. I still get frustrated sometimes when I see progress thwarted at every turn. But maybe staying a little backward is ok. Yeah, we have been hit hard with drug problems. Poverty, obesity, poor education run rampant. Plants and mines closing down. Towns with nothing for kids to do but make more kids that do nothing. But, at the base, there is this amazing depth of pride for coming up through the hard times and standing tall when they play the National Anthem at the Friday night football games at every high school in every county. The mountains run through our veins like the coal beneath our feet and we are a fiercely proud, fiercely independent, fiercely loyal group of people.

\n\"Barges\n

Last night, as Mr. FixIt and I sat and watched the sun set over the Ohio River at Fort Boreman Park, we looked out over this town we grew up in. You could see where the houses sat on Quincy Hill where Mr. FixIt grew up. You could see Ohio across the river. I snapped photo after photo, trying to capture for you the essence of West Virginia…of Parkersburg…of my home town. In the end, it is in the peaceful colors of the setting sun that I see the famous blue and gold…West Virginia’s colors. And I realized that we are the river and the sky, the mountains and the valleys, the wooded hillsides and the amber fields. We will always be here. Montani Semper Liberi…Mountaineers are always free. ❤️

\n

“Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.”\n‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭3:17‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2017-08-17T01:55:11-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/08/17/my-hometown.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","West Virginia","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Humbled","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/08/15/a-change-in-the-air.html", "title": "A Change in the Air", "content_html": "\"Early\n

Even though it is only the middle of August, there is a definite change in the air. There are leaves changing already and the woods have taken on the “tired green” of late summer, having spent their glorious stores of chlorophyll in the peak of summer. Yesterday dawned cloudy and relatively cool and soon the sky gifted us with a gentle rain that lasted most of the day. So much for mowing the lawn.

\n

I’m sitting on the front porch at the farm as I write this, watching the goldfinches fight over the socks of thistle seeds. Boy Cat and Old Mama Kitty are keeping me company as I listen to the rain pattering on the leaves in the nearby woods. The sun is trying to break through and make its first appearance of the day, just shy of 5:00. Since I couldn’t mow, I drove to town and ran errands. I am hosting a Sisters on the Fly event September 7-10 and I needed to make arrangements. I have 23 women signed up so far and registration is still open if you would like to attend.

\n

I felt much better today…stronger, better rested. I have been thinking about triggers and how they stimulate the grief response. At first, everything is a trigger. When you are in the acute stages of grief, your feelings are like a frayed electric cord, ready to shock you at the slightest touch. After some time, things even out a bit but it is still amazing how the tiniest thing can trigger grief. When you’ve had a long stretch without a meltdown, you can get a little complacent, thinking maybe you’re through all that. So  it kind of takes you by surprise when a new wave comes. That was what I felt over the weekend.

\n

As I was driving through town yesterday, I was coming up to a stoplight when I heard an ambulance approaching. I stopped and waited for it to come through from my left and make the turn towards the hospital. There was an elderly man seated in the front passenger seat and I suddenly flashed back to the ambulance ride taking Mr. Virgo to the ER from the RV dealership where he had his heart attack. I hadn’t thought about that drive for quite some time. For a brief moment, my eyes met those of the man in the front seat and I recognized that panicked and confused look on his face. There was a slight set of the jaw that was familiar. “Ok, ok, ok….let’s get this done. Be strong. Just breathe.” At least, that’s what went through my mind when I was in his shoes.

\n

I didn’t have a reaction to this trigger. I was prepared. It’ll be a while before I have another grief response, I imagine. I’m a bit more on guard now. That’s a relief of sorts. I hate when the wave comes unexpectedly. For now, I’ll sit on the porch and watch the rain as the light changes and the hummingbirds fight over the feeder…and wait for Mr. FixIt to call so I can start supper. History repeats itself and life goes on. ❤️

\n

“And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.”\n‭‭Colossians‬ ‭3:15‬ ‭ESV‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2017-08-15T01:55:29-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/08/15/a-change-in-the-air.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","West Virginia","The Farm","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/08/14/when-darkness-calls.html", "title": "When Darkness Calls", "content_html": "\"\"\n

I have some really great friends who look out for me. They each seem to have a role. My longest term friend “feels” when something is wrong and she needs to reach out right away. Others send articles for my reference and give me a heads up when I have a typo in a post. They know I cannot STAND typos. One sends me the funniest memes I have ever seen on the internet and spends equal time kicking me in the butt when I need it…which is more often than you may imagine. My old high school chum, Marion, sent me an excellent article the other day about what the first year of widowhood was like for Jodi of the blog Extra Grace Required. She listed the important things she learned that first year. If memory serves, I’ve written a few of those missives myself. We live and we learn and we grow as we crawl our way along on this grief journey.

\n

Just because I have found new love, doesn’t mean I have miraculously “gotten over” the loss of Mr. Virgo. It means I’ve grown. It means my heart has healed enough to make room for more love in my life. It certainly does NOT mean I never have a bad day or have sad feelings. And here’s what’s most important. My bad days or my sad feelings have absolutely nothing to do with my love for Mr. FixIt. It’s complicated loving two men…one here, one not quite so much. It’s easy to love this wonderful man I’ve known almost as long as I can remember. I just have to incorporate a lot of feelings at once which is made more difficult when I’m tired and not feeling up to par.

\n

One of the things Jodi noticed after her first year is, she feels the grief of others more easily. Before loss, grief is sad, you feel bad for the one who has lost a loved one, you have your own feelings to sort out about your relationship with the departed. But, once it has happened so close to home that your heart has literally been ripped out of your chest, the grief of others is not so easily compartmentalized. Someone close to me lost a son-in-law this summer. I spoke to the widow on the phone Saturday, giving some support, acknowledging feelings, commiserating, feeling. When she broke down into those guttural cries I still remember so vividly, my heart squeezed tight, my throat closed, my stomach churned, I got hot and sweaty, my fight or flight response kicked in big time. I held it together. I didn’t crumble….until late in the night. I couldn’t go to sleep. My head was pounding and my heart ached for this young woman who is so new in this journey. I tossed and turned. I used my Rescue Remedy. When sleep wouldn’t come, I changed course and walked around the dimly lit house until I felt I could settle down. I finally slept, but didn’t feel much better when I awoke.

\n

So, it was one of THOSE days. Out of sorts. Off my feed. I didn’t even want coffee…gasp! It was a tea and oatmeal and crackers and lay low kind of day. Not exactly a day spent mattress-surfing, but close. The best part was…Mr. FixIt was there to offer comfort and support and love. He was totally nonjudgmental. He is a remarkable man. He just listened and held me and that’s all I needed. After a while, I was feeling better. Not fine, but ok. I sent him home to do whatever he needed to do for the afternoon and I settled in with my thoughts and processed.

\n

Process.. That’s what this whole thing is. It doesn’t matter if it’s one year or five years or twenty-five…grief is a process. It doesn’t always hit me like this anymore…thank God. The biggest lesson I’ve learned in all of this is, when the wave hits, don’t fight it. Let it carry you to a place of self-discovery and love. And when you’re ready, dust yourself off, wash your face, and get back to the business of living. Because, that’s what we’re here for. ❤️

\n

extragracerequired.com/2017/03/2…

\n

“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”\n‭‭Romans‬ ‭8:38-39‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2017-08-14T01:55:05-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/08/14/when-darkness-calls.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","The Farm","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/08/08/road-trip-day-thirtyonecamping-in.html", "title": "Road Trip: Day Thirty-One...\"Camping in Comfort!\"", "content_html": "\"Paulaner\n

OMGosh! After camping two nights in parking lots, Grandpa’s Farm Campground is just what the doctor ordered. Mr. FixIt and I were up at the crack of dawn and dragged our sorry butts into the IHOP for breakfast. Coffee, coffee, coffee. I slept maybe three pharmaceutically induced hours to the refrains of a hundred diesel engines idling all night. Ok, there were…like, twenty-five, ok? All I’m sayin’ is…it sounded like the 10th Armored Division were on maneuvers in my living room. Have I ever mentioned I’m grumpy in the mornings if I don’t sleep well and coffee is delayed by the briefest of moments? I thought not…I hate to tarnish my pristine reputation. Oy.

\n

After breakfast, we sat down with the Atlas and the RV Campground Directory and figured out how long we wanted to drive today. It put us right in the vicinity of Richmond, IN…a very cute little burg. I was in Richmond when Daughter #1 graduated from college a few miles away in Oxford, Ohio at the Miami University. I stopped at this campground on my way out to Colorado this summer. It’s the one I found on a Saturday night when I was contemplating how sorry I was that I’d miss church the next morning, only to find out they have Campground Church every Sunday. It’s run by a lovely family. There is some road noise in the early evening, but it soon dies down after folks get home from work. There’s also a rushing stream along the edge of the campground that you can hear at night. AAA got me a discount and a full hookup site was $32.50. As soon as I got everything hooked up, I turned on the hot water heater so we could enjoy hot showers for the first time in three days! Heavenly!

\n

But, here’s the very coolest thing….Mr. FixIt DROVE for me all but the first hour. We were tooling along and I just hadn’t had enough sleep or enough coffee. We pulled into a service station, got my pillows and blankets out of the trailer, and I crawled into the passenger side and slept for two hours. When I woke up, I marveled at the decadence of having someone drive me around…pulling my camper with confidence, being just as careful of her as I am. It felt amazing…this giving over some control after having to do everything by myself for so long. The thing is, I kept hanging onto that control…long after I had a capable partner to help me. It was liberating in the totally opposite way of women’s liberation. It felt inclusive, a communal effort. And I was in hog heaven!

\n

We got to the campground by 3:00 which allows for so much more of an evening than midnight does. Mr. FixIt went for a walk while I wrote this post so we could just enjoy the evening without interruptions. We cooked a nice dinner and sat outside listening to the many sounds of the campground. What a precious treat this man is. Thank you God for safe travels. And thank You for bringing me such a wonderful man to enjoy! ❤️

\n

“Sing to the LORD, all the earth; proclaim his salvation day after day. Declare his glory among the nations, his marvelous deeds among all peoples.”\n‭‭1 Chronicles‬ ‭16:23-24‬ ‭NIV

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2017-08-08T01:55:34-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/08/08/road-trip-day-thirtyonecamping-in.html", "tags": ["Travel","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","TOW-Wanda!","The Grand Adventure","Fun","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Wisdom","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/08/04/road-trip-day-twentyeightdancing.html", "title": "Road Trip: Day Twenty-Eight...\"Dancing\"", "content_html": "\"Feet\n

I love listening to live music. We met Daughter #1 and the grands for dinner then attended the outdoor concert at Flatirons Crossing…a large mall in Louisville, CO. They left at intermission so when the band started up again, I led Mr. FixIt out on the dance floor for the second half. I love to dance, but my 64-year-old knees were screaming in protest before long. I’ll pay for it today, I’m afraid.

\n

Yesterday was spent running errands like getting the oil changed on the truck for the trip back. Today is cleaning, doing laundry, packing. We all get to attend Little’s presentation at the end of art camp this afternoon then one last family gathering before we head out in the morning. It’s been a fast month and I’ll miss my babies. I’m already planning our return trip around Christmas! I know this isn’t much of a post…just touching base as we tie up loose ends before we leave. ❤️

\n

“Children are a heritage from the LORD, offspring a reward from him.”\n‭‭Psalm‬ ‭127:3‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2017-08-04T01:55:04-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/08/04/road-trip-day-twentyeightdancing.html", "tags": ["Family","Travel","Strong Women","Positive Energy","TOW-Wanda!","The Grand Adventure","Fun","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/08/03/road-trip-day-twentysevenwhen-your.html", "title": "Road Trip: Day Twenty-Seven...\"When Your Mom Dies\"", "content_html": "\"View\n

My friend, Fred, lost his mom yesterday. We got the word while we were visiting Buffalo Bill’s grave. It made me think of my mom. It made me think back to when my oldest was about three and Mom came out to Colorado for a visit. I brought her up here and we sat on this very bench. She was well and happy and healthy and I thought I’d have her forever. Years later, my mom got sick suddenly and was gone in five days.

\n

Nature tells us our parents will age and eventually die, leaving us to go on as best we can without them. But, at least for me, we never are prepared for how we’ll feel when the time comes and we have to say goodbye to our source…the giver of life, the nurturer, the teacher, the nurse, the chauffeur, the disciplinarian, the confidant. We’re never ready…we’re blindsided with the enormity of the loss. Incredulous as it may seem, this larger-than-life woman had the audacity to grow old and leave me.

\n

It’s been thirteen years since I lost my mom. I still want to call her every Sunday evening. I think of something to share with her then sadly remember she is gone. And now Fred is a member of the club of orphans…his mom gone away from him. He is alone. My heart is with him and his family.

\n

We enjoyed the visit to Lookout Mountain yesterday. And, last night I spent the evening with all my girls. Mr. FixIt takes great pics and it was so much fun to laugh and share funny stories. Stories about their dad…and Mr. Virgo…and Grammy. We hated to break away and end the evening. We vowed to talk more often. Another day done. Another day filled with love. ❤️

\n

“Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:”\n‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭31:28‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n", "date_published": "2017-08-03T01:55:10-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/08/03/road-trip-day-twentysevenwhen-your.html", "tags": ["Family","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","The Grand Adventure","Grace","Wisdom","Aging","Fitness Friday"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/07/20/road-trip-day-fourteenmy-person.html", "title": "Road Trip: Day Fourteen...\"My Person\"", "content_html": "\"\"\n

I’ve been holding my breath for months now. I wanted to talk to you about it, but I couldn’t. It was really complicated and it was scary and it had to do with Mr. FixIt and I hadn’t told you about him yet. I was still trying to figure out how to introduce a new character into our little story here without changing the dynamic so much that you ran away in droves. Come to find out, I needn’t have worried about that. Everyone has been so wonderful and supportive of my new love and I am so grateful. So, now I can tell you the other half of the story.

\n

Mr. FixIt and I hadn’t been seeing each other romantically very long when he had an annual physical and some blood tests came back abnormal. The doctor wanted to wait three months and then repeat the lab work and this time it was even worse. He referred us to a specialist and Mr. FixIt had a series of tests. One of the possible diagnoses was leukemia. My heart both sank through the floor and jumped out of my chest. This was my biggest fear…that I would fall in love with this wonderful man and be over-the-moon happy only to have him get sick and die on me. Leukemia. Just thinking the word made me physically ill. And Mr. FixIt was flat out devastated that he just found happiness and the rug could get pulled out from under us. He hated that this scared me to death. It scared him, too.

\n

He had a bone marrow biopsy and after waiting three weeks, we finally heard the news we had been praying for. It is NOT leukemia! Thank you, Jesus! That’s the good news. The bad news is we still don’t know exactly what it is, because there IS something going on. But our doctor contacted the specialist at West Virginia University and they both agreed to watch and wait six months and repeat the tests then.

\n

I let out my breath. This man has become so important to me. He has stolen my heart. We’ve known each other since we were kids. We’ve always been great friends. That came first. But to fall in love, to open my heart again and to love so deeply after the profound loss of Mr. Virgo…only to lose again? I couldn’t bear the thought. I prayed…fervently. I asked others to pray…unspoken prayers, specific prayers, prayers for healing. “Please, don’t let it be cancer!” “Please heal him.” “If he’s sick, let it be something easily controlled and non-life threatening.” Denying. Bargaining. In his favor, Mr. FixIt is extremely healthy, walks 5-6 miles a day, has purposefully lost sixty pounds, and eats a healthy diet. I can’t help but think, whatever this is, it can’t be too awfully bad or he wouldn’t be this healthy. So I’ll breathe. I will relax a little. I didn’t realize how wound up I was till I heard the doctor on the other end of the line in our phone conference Tuesday.

\n

And now, my sweetheart is here with me! Oh…standing in the greeting area of DIA yesterday, my heart leapt with joy when I saw this handsome man, this lean and lanky guy with the graying red hair, my best friend in the whole wide world coming up the escalator! I could hardly wait to get a hold of him. Our good news of the day before underlining the poignancy of the moment. What would I have done? What if it would have been the worst case scenario? It is not unreasonable for my widow-mind to go there because I’ve been there before. Well…I’ve had a little time to think about those “what ifs”. And I’ll tell you what. Our love is long term. Platonic for the majority of our lives…romantic for only the last few months. It doesn’t matter. When you love someone, and you are dealt a blow, there is only one thing to do…you just hold hands and walk into the fire. Together.

\n

We are grateful we have each other at this time in our lives. We celebrate this wonderful chance at love. We thank God for his bountiful blessings. We put our trust in Him for He has plans for us. ❤️

\n

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.””\n‭‭Jeremiah‬ ‭29:11-14‬ ‭NIV

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2017-07-20T01:55:37-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/07/20/road-trip-day-fourteenmy-person.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Grief","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Wisdom","Aging","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/07/15/road-trip-day-ninechill.html", "title": "Road Trip: Day Nine...\"Chill\"", "content_html": "\"Stop\n

While traveling in a camper, one must stay on top of housekeeping tasks or things soon spiral out of control. Living in a small space requires planning and organization…both monumental tasks for this poor Gemini mind of mine. I would just as soon drop everything and chase butterflies, but the pile of dishes in the sink and the basket of laundry in the corner were calling my name yesterday. Actually, I don’t really mind a day of puttering around the “house”. It gives me ample time to visit, contemplate, plan, and write. There are some things I’ve wanted to research online the last week or so and this little bit of down time allowed me to do that.

\n

This fall, Dominion Gas will begin construction on a compressor station about a mile or so beyond the back property line of the farm. I’ve driven past them and they are noisy beasts but I’ve never really known how they work or what they are used for. A week or two ago, I posted a video here of a jack pump on a gas well head. These pumps feed gas in small lines to a larger compressor station that presses the gas, squeezing out the air molecules, and allowing the gas to flow through larger lines. Without the compressor, pipelines would have to be huge in order to accommodate the volume of gas that needs to flow through them. The problems lie in some of the safety issues involved in mechanically compressing highly volatile natural gas. Compressor station and large gas line explosions are not unheard of. There was a large gas line explosion on I-77 a couple of years ago and it literally melted the highway and damaged an overpass. There are some issues with health effects of these compressor stations and I’ll be doing more research on that.

\n

There are a lot of things that can go wrong with something like a compressor station. There are a lot of things that can go wrong with every scenario we face in life. After I do due diligence and I’m satisfied with the answers to the questions I have about this new construction so close to my family farm, I’ll be able to let that go and deal with the next thing. This was not always the case with me. I spent far too much of my life walking a tightrope of fear. Fear of the unknown…the what-ifs…kept me paralyzed a lot of the time. I have elected to opt out of so many things that could very easily have brought me much joy and certainly could have broadened my horizons simply because I was afraid of what could go wrong. I think there are many of us who do that. I think being a widow could have certainly exacerbated my fears. As a matter of fact…it did for much of the first year, year and a half. I still have to make a conscious effort to make the choice to be excited about what can go right.

\n

I used to be so pessimistic. I think a lot of my fear was driven by my need to be in control at all times. If I always exercised caution, we would all be safe. If I could keep myself and those I love from doing anything vaguely dangerous, I wouldn’t have to feel the pain of loss or injury. Then Mr. Virgo died. And I realized I had no control. Not even a semblance of control. I can’t keep bad things from happening to those I love or to myself for that matter. All I can do is pray for safety and look for the ways every situation might be used for joy and for the glory of God. Walking a path of love and joy and hope is far more fulfilling than looking for every way in which things can go wrong.

\n

And, things WILL go wrong. It is, after all, the nature of things. It’s how we react when things go wrong that makes a difference in the peace we can feel in this life. Let go. Let God do His thing. Exercise caution…let go of fear. A fine line. A tightrope. But one well worth practicing. ❤️

\n

“When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. In God, whose word I praise— in God I trust and am not afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?”\n‭‭Psalm‬ ‭56:3-4‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2017-07-15T01:55:14-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/07/15/road-trip-day-ninechill.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/07/14/road-trip-day-eightwhat-a.html", "title": "Road Trip: Day Eight...\"What a Feeling!\"", "content_html": "\"Altitude\n

There’s nothing like feeling really good after feeling really bad. I was so miserable Wednesday…too tired, too much junk food, too much altitude, not enough water and I was laid low. Nancy, one of my Colorado readers, sent me a message yesterday first thing and suggested I try to find some “Altitude Adjustment”…a nutritional supplement that helps your body adjust to the changes our bodies go through at elevation. I don’t know the science behind it, but if they told me twirling a chicken over my head would have made me feel better, I’d have been heading to the nearest barnyard. I was willing to try anything because I didn’t want to spend another day miserable. Nancy even offered to meet me halfway to deliver some if I needed her to. I called the number on the back of the package from the picture she sent and got the name of the nearest store that carried Altitude Adjustment and took it right away. I drank three bottles of water. My son-in-law’s mom insisted I eat something and made me an egg sandwich. And within an hour, I felt great. I spent the day out with my daughter and grandchildren and last night we all got together to celebrate birthdays and an anniversary. It was a great day!

\n

Also, my latest post on the Sisters on the Fly Blog series “Getting Bolder” went live yesterday. It is always so exciting to see that! You can catch it here…

\n

www.sistersonthefly.com/getting-b…

\n

Thank you for your kind words of support yesterday. I never feel entirely alone with God..and all of you out there! ❤️

\n

“But as for you, be strong and do not give up, for your work will be rewarded.””\n‭‭2 Chronicles‬ ‭15:7‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2017-07-14T01:55:27-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/07/14/road-trip-day-eightwhat-a.html", "tags": ["Family","Travel","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Sisters on the Fly","Positive Energy","The Grand Adventure","Fun","Gratitude"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/07/12/road-trip-day-sixi-made.html", "title": "Road Trip: Day Six...\"I Made It!\"", "content_html": "\"GPS\"\n

OMGosh! I thought it was going to take forever to get here. With the long drive day on Monday, I was sure hoping today would go better. My good friend Diane called me Monday night and said, “I’m waiting to read about the fun part in this. Why on earth are you doing this if it’s so miserable?” And, my answer depends on when you ask. If you would have asked me Monday evening, I’d be hard pressed to come up with a good reason. But, if you asked me Thursday and Friday when I was camping with my gal pals, I’d tell you that’s the best. And if you ask me right this minute while TOW-Wanda is tucked in the shade at Ben and Sue’s house and my grandkids are here, I’d tell you this is the best. And, on the 24th, when Mr. FixIt and I head to the high country to camp for a week, I’ll tell you that’s the best. I will tell you this…the very worst day pulling a camper cross-country through Kansas in July at 103 degrees with no air conditioning STILL beats the very best day at work…hands down!

\n

Yesterday wasn’t as windy so the trailer wasn’t getting buffeted around so it was a much easier drive. It wasn’t quite so hot. It was a relatively short drive day. And, I slept eleven hours Monday night so I was rearing to go! I love a road trip…even when things don’t always go smoothly. It presents me with opportunities to work out problems on my own. And, even though I have this wonderful man in my life now, I’ll still be traveling on my own sometimes. It’s what I do. I’m not giving that part of my new life away. I’m accommodating Mr. FixIt INTO my new life, just as he is accommodating me into his.

\n

As I was driving along yesterday morning, I finally came across a Starbucks that was easily accessible. Yay! But what I found in the truck stop store was a bigger WOW! I love those big truck stop stores. They always have hard-to-find accessories. When I was in the wreck in February, everything made it out of my truck except the piece that attaches my Garmin GPS to the windshield. I had jury rigged something that sort of worked until the afternoon sun melted the adhesive. I found the replacement piece in that truck stop store yesterday and I was ecstatic! Problem solved. And, this mount is even better than the original! Score!

\n

I’m really looking forward to some lay-low days with family this week. I want to thank God first and foremost for travel mercies and thank all of you for your prayers and love and light sent out for my protection. I didn’t even see a single fender bender. God is the best and you all are, too! ❤️

\n

“Here’s what will happen. While you’re out among the nations where GOD has dispersed you and the blessings and curses come in just the way I have set them before you, and you and your children take them seriously and come back to GOD, your God, and obey him with your whole heart and soul according to everything that I command you today, GOD, your God, will restore everything you lost; he’ll have compassion on you; he’ll come back and pick up the pieces from all the places where you were scattered. No matter how far away you end up, GOD, your God, will get you out of there and bring you back to the land your ancestors once possessed. It will be yours again. He will give you a good life and make you more numerous than your ancestors.”\n‭‭Deuteronomy‬ ‭30:1-5‬ ‭MSG‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2017-07-12T01:55:03-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/07/12/road-trip-day-sixi-made.html", "tags": ["Colorado","Family","Travel","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","TOW-Wanda!","The Grand Adventure","Fun","Gratitude","God"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/07/11/road-trip-day-fiveso-near.html", "title": "Road Trip: Day Five...\"So Near, Yet So Far\"", "content_html": "Battery powered \"air conditioner\"\n

When I hooked up my camper Sunday night at the Kan-Do Kampground in Montgomery City, Missouri, the temp was in the 90’s and I was hot and tired. However, no matter what I tried, the air conditioning in TOW-Wanda would not come on. Therefore, the only things I had to cool me off were two fans and the exhaust fan in the bathroom. That drew the heat out somewhat, but still, I didn’t get to sleep till around midnight. I woke up at 2:30 yesterday morning and try as I might, further sleep eluded me. I laid there till the sky started to lighten around 5:00 then I got up and started putting stuff away, got dressed, closed the windows, and unhooked the camper from the water and electric. I pulled out at 6:15 and headed east in the cool of the day…73 degrees. It was rather windy on the plains so my top speed was 55 most of the day. Gas/pit stops were brief and I finally pulled into a rest area around 12:30 to stretch out for a 30 minute power nap. Only problem was…it was 92 degrees by then and the camper was stifling. All of a sudden, I had a brilliant idea. Gail, one of the Girl Campers had a little fan she let me borrow the second night at Beaver Creek State Park when I didn’t have electricity. The fan had a small drawer that you put ice in and the air cooled as it blew over it. I went to my freezer in my camper, took out two frozen bottles of water and a frozen cooler insert and sat them in front of my battery powered fan. It worked like a charm and offered me about 30 minutes of cool air which was delightful. Once I started losing the chill, I popped everything back in the freezer, put the fan away, and got back on the road. I drove till 4:30pm and just didn’t have it in me to go another five hours from Hays, Kansas to the Denver suburbs. I pulled into a name-brand hotel, negotiated my best deal, parked the camper, and was safely ensconced in my room by 5:00…a bubble bath drawn. The temperature was a staggering 100 degrees and I refused to take the chance of finding a campsite and not having AC. The campsites aren’t great out here anyway. I brought some food in from the kitchen in the camper and wrote this early so I could roost with the chickens. Today is another day. I’ll get there rested instead of having to sleep all day. Today is Daughter #1’s birthday!!! The truck and camper did fine yesterday, but I had forgotten how much work this big camper is to pull. I’m looking forward to having the little vintage camper refurbished and I can take it instead of this big one. I’ll catch up with you tomorrow! Thank you, Lord…for the travel mercies thus far. ❤️

\n

“in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”\n‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭3:6‬ ‭NIV‬

\n", "date_published": "2017-07-11T01:55:56-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/07/11/road-trip-day-fiveso-near.html", "tags": ["Colorado","Travel","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","The Grand Adventure","Fun","Gratitude"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/07/10/road-trip-day.html", "title": "Road Trip: Day 4", "content_html": "\"Trim\n

This is the part of the trip where I’m always ready to be there yet I have a long way to go. It would be one thing if I were just meandering along without an agenda, but I’ve got grandbabies to see and I’m ready to be there NOW! Between not being able to drive over 60 (you shouldn’t drive over 65 while towing anyway!) and all the construction zones at 45-55mph, this trip feels like it takes forever. I always stop every four hours, stretch, get a bite to eat, use the facilities, and stretch out on the bed for a power nap of 30 minutes or so. When I stopped at 5:30 yesterday, I walked around to the passenger side of the camper and about a third of the trim over the wheel well was flapping in the breeze. I took it off then went to Walmart for a package of nuts and bolts to screw it back on securely. By the time I was done with all that, it was after 8:00. I started watching for signs for campgrounds and before long I had a site secured in Kan-Do Kampground. I really enjoyed speaking with the owner at checkin…she was a hoot!

\n

It was pretty hot and stuffy when I pulled in so as soon as I got the electric hooked up, I flipped on the AC and…nothing. The switch “hesitated” a couple of times last year so I imagine it needs fixed. It seems like an awful lot of “bugs” are showing up this year. I don’t know if that’s normal or not, but I don’t like it.

\n

Church yesterday morning was very nice. A lot of people attended. I’m going to try to get an early start this morning but don’t know if I’ll make it all the way to Denver today. Safety first! ❤️

\n

“But as for you, be strong and do not give up, for your work will be rewarded.””\n‭‭2 Chronicles‬ ‭15:7‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2017-07-10T01:55:17-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/07/10/road-trip-day.html", "tags": ["Travel","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","The Grand Adventure","Fun","Gratitude","goRVing","Love","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/07/09/road-trip-day-three.html", "title": "Road Trip: Day Three", "content_html": "\"Campfire\"\n

I had to say goodbye for now to my Girl Camper friends yesterday morning. I hit the road about 8:30 after enjoying coffee and breakfast burritos with the early birds. Hookup was easy and after doing my safety check and checking the air in my tires (thank you Jeremy and Stephany of RV Family Travel Atlas!) I was on the road in no time. I did find this new truck can’t tow nearly as fast or stable as the ole one. It must have something to do with that rear axle ration. It was still a little windy yesterday so that might have been a contributing factor. I can’t drive much over 60mph with this truck but then again, you shouldn’t tow over 65 anyway so it’s probably just as well. Maybe I’ll look at trucks in Colorado. The 373 rear axle ratio is much more available out there.

\n

I really took it easy yesterday. At lunch time, I pulled into a rest area and had lunch and a little power nap. I stopped at Camping World and bought extension mirrors so I can see around the back of my camper. I also bought some covers for the bedroom windows. The first thing I did when I bought this camper is take out the valances and shades. I hated them. But, when I travel alone and nap in the rest areas by the truckers, I’d just as soon not be so visible from the outside. I bought some Command Hooks and two cat litter mats that were the perfect size. I stuck the hooks on the outside of the camper and hung the mats over the windows on the outside. That way I still get air circulation when I open the windows. Brilliant!

\n

I pulled into another rest area at supper time and ate and stretched out again. I guess I needed to catch up with a little sleep. One thing I do when I drive is think about stuff. And I talk things over with God. It’s our special alone time. I was telling him how much I hated missing church this weekend. Especially since our pastor is coming back from vacation today. My plan for driving this trip was drive, stop, eat, nap, repeat. I really had no intention of camping in RV parks. When I was in Camping World, I saw the new RV Campground directory…their three inch thick book listing all the campgrounds that give a Good Sam discount as well as many other. I’ve always found it very helpful. When I woke up from my nap, Spirit told me to look in the book for the closest RV park. I know better than to question so I did and there was one three or four exits away called…get this…Grandpa’s Farm Campground. There were others, but that’s the one that jumped out at me. I called. They had one site left. I took it and was there in ten minutes. There was a group of about thirty people out on the front lawn playing bingo as I pulled in. Located right on the bank of a rushing stream, the sites were nicely spaced down at the end where I was parked. Full hookup with Wifi was $34.50 with the Good Sam discount, tax included. As I was signing in, I noticed on the map “This campground is run by a Christian family.” Camp Church is at 8:30 in the morning…free coffee and donuts at 8:15! Isn’t God good to provide a safe, clean place with church in the great outdoors?

\n

I took advantage of the full hookups to do some housekeeping last night. The tanks needed emptying and I hooked up to city water, turned on the hot water heater, and took probably the best shower of my life. And that did me in for the night. I always write my posts at night before I go to bed. I have to get into the Word when I write and search for the perfect scripture to go with it so this becomes my evening meditation. Another day safe, and closer to my babies. Mr. FixIt arrived safely in Florida last evening so I am very grateful for that as well. Have a happy Sunday! ❤️

\n

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”\n‭‭Romans‬ ‭15:13‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2017-07-09T01:55:13-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/07/09/road-trip-day-three.html", "tags": ["Travel","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","The Grand Adventure","Fun","Gratitude","goRVing","God","Wisdom","Girl Camper"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/07/08/fun-around-a-campfire.html", "title": "Fun Around a Campfire", "content_html": "\"Hitch\n

Traveling on a cross-country road trip, you must be flexible whenever possible. Yesterday’s forecast had severe thunderstorm warnings off and on all day with winds predicted to top 50mph. I don’t know if you have ever driven in winds like that or not, but it is ill-advised to do so while towing a camper. I figured if I was going to be overtaken by severe storms, I would just as soon be in a campground with a bunch of girls I know so I stayed put another night. Today is another day. As it turns out, I would have driven right through those bad storms as they were right along the way I would have been traveling so it’s a good thing I stayed where I was.

\n\"Morning\n

Yesterday was a lovely, lazy day filled with naps and reading, conversation and laughter, and plenty of good food. Too much good food. I did have to move my camper…twice. I had only reserved a site for one night and it was booked for last night. I moved and set up at another site but didn’t think to go online and reserve it. I just filled out the reservation form. After I got everything set up, I took a nap then got a call from the park employees telling me the site I was in had just gotten booked. So, off I went again. Unfortunately, this one wasn’t long enough to stay hooked up so I had to disconnect. That’s ok…I’m a pro at hooking up and unhooking this trailer now. It’s no big deal.

\n\"Beaver\n

The purpose of stopping here to camp just a few hours from the farm was to surprise the head Girl Camper, Janine Pettit, and her good friend, Mary Brennan Morey, as they begin a four week tour of several national parks, including Yellowstone and Glacier. If you haven’t checked out the Girl Camper Facebook page or the Girl Camper podcast series, you really should. Not only are they informative, but they are just plain fun! I filmed Janine yesterday doing her F-150 Fitness Routine that she learned from MizzFitness herself, Bianca Jade. Janine is going to stay fit on the road by doing this routine every day as she explores the highways and byways of America.

\n\"View\n

There’s nothing like spending time with other women who are camping enthusiasts. Sharing knowledge, stories, and camaraderie is such a bonding experience and we forge life-long friendships over the campfire. I never would have dreamed how important my girlfriends would turn out to be at this stage of my life. ❤️

\n

“My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command.”

\n

‭‭John‬ ‭15:12-14‬ ‭NIV

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2017-07-08T01:55:46-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/07/08/fun-around-a-campfire.html", "tags": ["Travel","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","The Grand Adventure","Fun","Gratitude","Wisdom","Girl Camper"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/07/07/on-the-road-again.html", "title": "On the Road Again!", "content_html": "\"www.marshmallowranch.com\"\n

Oh, I love a good surprise! Some of the local Girl Campers gathered to surprise our fearless leader, Head Girl Camper Janine Pettit yesterday. She and fellow Girl Camper Mari pulled into the campground to find half our crew sitting around the picnic table. The other half arrive tomorrow. Janine was so excited…she jumped out of her truck and squealed and did the happy dance right there. She called me to catch up Wednesday and I never let on I’d be waiting for her yesterday when she pulled in. I told her I was leaving for Colorado instead. What a fun surprise!

\n\"Girl\n

Camping in the rain. It’s sloppy and chilly and such a respite from the intense heat and humidity we’ve had this past week. I really don’t mind it. I didn’t unhook the camper as I am more than likely heading west this morning…depending on the weather. If it looks like severe storms in the Midwest, I may stay here one more day. I love sleeping to the sound of rain on a camper roof! I hardly slept Wednesday night in anticipation of leaving.

\n\"Queen\n

Mr. FixIt is heading to Florida today. While we miss each other when we’re apart, I love how supportive he is of my writing and travel. I explained when we first started dating that he would have to share me with the world. I told him about my travels and speaking engagements. He did two things. First, he told me if I ever need someone to carry my bags, he’s my man. And second…he went out and got an iPhone so we can FaceTime while we’re apart. I like seeing him every day. Ahhh…new love. It is a beautiful thing!

\n\"Hollow\n

I’ll keep you apprised of my travels as I move along. Oh, I love a road trip! ❤️

\n\"Two\n

“I long to see you so that I may impart to you some spiritual gift to make you strong— that is, that you and I may be mutually encouraged by each other’s faith.”\n‭‭Romans‬ ‭1:11-12‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2017-07-07T01:55:40-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/07/07/on-the-road-again.html", "tags": ["Travel","Uplifting Stories","Strong Women","Positive Energy","TOW-Wanda!","The Grand Adventure","Fun","Gratitude","goRVing","Girl Camper"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/07/06/beware-the-wolf.html", "title": "Beware the Wolf", "content_html": "\"Wolf\n

The other day when I wrote the post announcing my new love, one of my readers noticed the ring in the picture and remarked it was big and she certainly hoped I hadn’t loaned Mr. FixIt the money to buy it. At first, I was a little offended. After all, she doesn’t know me or Mr. FixIt. I always like to respond in some way to everyone who takes the time to write comments on my blog. This time I waited a couple of days to respond. I knew there was a teaching moment in there. I just wanted to make sure it was the right lesson.

\n

Once I took the time to think through what my reader had said, I realized her intent was honorable…and quite legitimate. She knew a widow who had fallen prey to a scam artist and she lost everything. She now lives in an efficiency apartment with her worldly goods and a small pension. My initial response was much like what one of the following articles states…“Well, that couldn’t possibly happen to me!” Come on, it’s not like ANYONE gets up one morning and says, “Gosh, I think I’ll go out and fall in love and lose all my money today.” Lonely, mostly older women who are single, divorced, or widowed are quite often approached by scam artists posing as single, divorced, or widowed men…most often on Facebook and dating sites. They strike at our most vulnerable moments…the holidays. They know we are alone. They know they can’t get us all…but they can get some and that keeps them coming back for more.

\n

I have received countless unsolicited friend requests from “military men” and “foreign contractors” with handsome profile pictures. When I last tried match.com a couple of years ago, the most common trait of the men who approached me online were 6'2", Catholic, a widower, retired, and had a mid six-figure income. Seriously…if a man is that good looking and has that much money, he sure as the dickens doesn’t need to troll on match.com to find dates. He’s going to (more than likely) hook up with that 40-something tennis player down at the country club. Once you see these phonies, you recognize them and you can move on. They are banking on the newbies…the most nervous, the scared, the most unsure, the most vulnerable. I bit once before I figured it out. I have no idea what he took from me. My profile, most likely. Somewhere out there, there could be a fake profile with my picture, trying to scam widowers. I hate that, but there is absolutely nothing I can do about it.

\n

Back when I was attempting to date, I had no problem running a background check on someone who expressed an interest in me. I started out with a simple Google search. Then I contracted with a reputable background search company and placed an order. Within a few hours, I received a fairly detailed report. You do need to have the person’s birthday to get more accurate results so there would more than likely need to be some initial contact, but it’s easy and can save you a lot of heartache down the road. The most accurate indicator is your gut. If this guy seems too good to be true, he probably is. Move on if there are doubts. It’s just not worth losing a minute’s rest over.

\n

The problem with this kind of crime is, it often goes unreported out of embarrassment. No one wants to admit to falling for a scam. There are legitimately wonderful, fully available, honorable men out there. They often don’t come forward though. They don’t want to come on too strong. And they don’t want to get shot down. If you want to be in a relationship and no one is beating a path to your door, try starting a conversation in the produce section of the local market or the library or church. Try NOT to be a Casserole Queen…that semi-desperate woman who pounces on every new widower or divorced man in the neighborhood and shows up with the best fried chicken in five counties. Because…there’s going to be fifteen other Casserole Queens right behind you. Be the one who is different, who can offer something the others can’t. Mr. FixIt is a mechanically adept individual. It just impresses the heck out of him that I can back a camper up on a dime and have a nickel left over and mow the lawn in a single session. Beyond the fact that we’ve been friends for nearly half a century, I have some mad skills in areas that interest him. That’s what good men look for…good women who are interesting and can bring something to the table. One whiff of desperation will send him packing. It should work that way for you as well. If a man comes on too strong or wants too much too fast, don’t worry about hurting their feelings. You have no one to look out for your best interests but yourself. Listen to your gut. Choose “alone” over “Mr. Wrong”.

\n

Today I head out on my big trip!!! I’ll be giving you the play-by-play but I won’t divulge my exact location in real time. I’ll tell you about the campgrounds and sites the day after I leave them. This is for my own safety. While I’ll miss the heck out of Mr. FixIt…I’m so excited to see my babies! And, I love a road trip!!!

\n

Here are some articles for reference.

\n

dmediamom.com/2015/11/1…

\n

www.google.com/amp/amp.t…

\n

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti…

\n

www.agingcare.com/articles/…

\n

❤️

\n

“How useless to spread a net where every bird can see it! These men lie in wait for their own blood; they ambush only themselves! Such are the paths of all who go after ill-gotten gain; it takes away the life of those who get it.”\n‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭1:17-19‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n", "date_published": "2017-07-06T01:55:05-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/07/06/beware-the-wolf.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","The Grand Adventure","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/07/02/towwanda-is-home.html", "title": "TOW-Wanda is Home!", "content_html": "\"Starcraft\n

First of all…OMGosh! Your response to my post yesterday was more than I could have ever imagined. Thank you all so much for the lovely comments, likes, and shares. You warmed my heart! I was so worried that introducing a new party to this adventure would change the dynamic and people would drop away. It turns out, more people tuned in so we’re off to a good start in this new chapter of Mr. FixIt and me! Of course, grief is a lifelong process so I will still touch base on how that affects me as we go along. Ever the teacher.

\n

There’s an interesting timbre to this new man. None of the men I have been with in my sixty-four years were mechanically inclined. Mr. FixIt, however, is a mechanical engineer and a lifelong camper. Imagine how difficult it was for him to sit back and watch as I hooked up and unhooked my camper. Oh…this is entirely new territory for this guy! He wanted to do the heavy stuff for me, and while I certainly could have sandbagged and let him, I still will be traveling alone some of the time so I need to keep up my skills and know for certain how things have been hooked up. I know, I know…control issues. I asked him sweetly to wait till I got what I needed to do done, then I would share some of the other duties. I also told him when we camp in his campers (he has two!) I will sit in a chair and watch him till he has a job for me to do. I made it up to him by doing all the cooking and fixed some pretty fabulous meals! He did a wonderful job changing out the gas lines for me and helped me troubleshoot the electrical bug we had. He doesn’t get the name Mr. FixIt for nothing!

\n

When we arrived home I told him I needed to back the camper into the driveway rather than pull it in like I usually do. With the vintage camper up at the end of the drive, there was no room to get the truck out and around the camper. Our road is a narrow country lane and the driveway is tight. I have to say, I totally impressed Mr. FixIt with my mad backing skills! He was bragging about me at dinner Friday night when we met 20 of our classmates at a local Italian restaurant. I don’t think this guy has ever run across a woman like me. He just looks at me in amazement. It makes me smile.

\n

I washed the exterior of the camper yesterday. It hadn’t been cleaned since I was in Myrtle Beach in September of 2015. It looks so much nicer now. I need to do a deep cleaning inside in the next few days, reorganize, and pack her up for the trip cross country. I leave Thursday. I am traveling alone so I won’t be divulging my exact location when I’m there, but I’ll be checking in daily to give you progress reports and tips for traveling solo in a camper. Mr. FixIt gets to come join me in a couple of weeks and meet the family. That’s exciting!!! In the meantime, he’ll be holding down the fort for me and keep the farm going.

\n

Back off girls…I saw him first! ❤️

\n

“Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else, for each one should carry their own load.”\n‭‭Galatians‬ ‭6:4-5‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2017-07-02T01:55:39-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/07/02/towwanda-is-home.html", "tags": ["Travel","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Sisters on the Fly","Positive Energy","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","The Grand Adventure","Fun","West Virginia","The Farm","Gratitude","goRVing","Love","God","Wisdom","Girl Camper"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/07/01/when-i-becomes-we.html", "title": "When \"I\" Becomes \"We\"", "content_html": "\"Two\n

You could knock me over with a feather. I never, ever dreamed I would get another chance at a deep, loving relationship after losing Mr. Virgo. I’ve walked this path of widowhood for over four years now. At first, I was adamant. I would never have another relationship because I would never go through this again. It was just too hard. I had an ill-advised attempt at dating just five months after my husband died suddenly. It didn’t take me long to figure out that was a bandaid that I hastily slapped on the gaping hole where my heart had been. When I ripped that bandage off, the pain was even more unbearable. I didn’t try again for another year. My second attempt wasn’t much better. Both were perfectly nice men. They just weren’t for me. And the timing was still too soon. I had a lot of healing to do before I could risk dating so I made up my mind I’d just give it to God. I told Him if He had someone for me He’d have to just dump him in my lap because I wasn’t going out there looking anymore. It was too hard on me and it wasn’t fair to involve men and break hearts along the way.

\n

I’ve kept myself busy. I’ve traveled. I’ve deepened my relationship with God because He became my primary focus. My writing grew in depth and meaning. My reach broadened. I had everything I needed. But I still wanted someone to share it all with. I was planning to live up at the river again when I came back to West Virginia last August. Then I got the call that my aunt wasn’t doing well and was going to go live with her brother. My uncle asked me to live on the family farm. And I put down more roots than I’ve had since I sold my Colorado house three years ago. It has been an amazing time of healing for me. I have a wonderful group of friends and a rich social life here.

\n

Sometime in the fall, I ran into an old friend from high school. I’ve known him for almost 49 years. I was fifteen and he was sixteen when we met. He was on the stage crew and I was in the art department. One day I was up on a ladder painting a backdrop. I heard someone clear his throat. I looked over and there was this tall, lanky redhead with the most beautiful blue eyes and an impish grin. We became fast friends and always looked for each other in the halls. Funny…we never dated in high school. We were both shy. We both went on and dated others and after graduation, our paths went in different directions. We never forgot each other though and were always so happy to catch up at class reunions.

\n

Sometime before Thanksgiving, we ran into each other and the timing was finally right for us. He invited me out for lunch and the rest, as they say, is history. He understands me. He is tender and sensitive to my needs as a widow. He has made room in our relationship for Mr. Virgo because he realizes he is only gone physically. He listens to my stories. He knows Mr. Virgo would have been the kind of guy he would have respected and enjoyed being around.

\n

I’ve been leaving breadcrumbs for you here. I’ve spoken of “my friend”, “my traveling companion”, and even his blog identity…“Mr. FixIt”. He has fixed many things for me…around the farm, around my heart, around my life. He is so much fun to be around. Sweet, attentive, open, honest to a fault…an honorable man I am proud to be with. We wanted to keep this to ourselves for a while for a number of reasons…not the least of which was just savoring every moment with it being just us. Now, we’re ready to step out into the world and walk through anything life hands us…hand in hand. I wasn’t sure how to tell you. I am not sure how this news will be received. But, since the very beginning, this blog has been about speaking openly and honestly about my grief journey…and this is just another twisty turn in it. My grief is not over. It will never be over. I’ve gotten through the worst of it, by far. Even though I’m in a relationship, I am still a widow. Once a pickle, always a pickle…you don’t get to go back to being a fresh cucumber again. I have always wanted my story to be about my love for God and to give you hope. Hope that, if you want to travel, pull a little camper, write a blog, or fall in love again…you can. Life comes to a screeching halt after the death of a spouse. Everyone’s grief is different…but, you CAN find joy again. I’m living proof of that.

\n

I hope you will stick around and see what comes next. I hope you’ll share the love and joy and hope. It’s all about beauty. It’s all about love. It’s all about life. ❤️

\n

“Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?”\n‭‭Amos‬ ‭3:3‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n", "date_published": "2017-07-01T01:55:15-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/07/01/when-i-becomes-we.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Fun","West Virginia","Gratitude","Love","God","Wisdom","Aging","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/06/22/there-is-hope.html", "title": "There is Hope", "content_html": "\"Before\n

If you are grieving, please know there is hope…for healing, for brighter days, for joy. Those of us who have walked this particular journey know full well the feelings of hopelessness that come in the dark of night. We know how hard it is to find the motivation to do the simplest of everyday tasks like personal grooming, cleaning house, cooking. Preparing a meal becomes Herculean. Brushing your teeth is as daunting as climbing Everest. Balancing your checkbook is something you did in a former life…you know, that time back in the day when your brain functioned as it should.

\n

When you are slogging through the midst of this madness called grief, it is easy to lose hope that things will ever get better. After all, how could they without your special person? I know, when I lost Mr. Virgo, my world came crashing in at my feet and I swore I would never feel anything but the crushing pain of loss. I was so tired, so depressed, so angry, so fearful. In the picture on the left, my eyes were puffy from crying all the time. I didn’t sleep. I didn’t eat right. I didn’t exercise. It was all I could do to breathe…and I didn’t even do that very well. Do you remember what it felt like to not be able to take in a deep breath? I sighed..a lot. That’s actually a physiological response to grief.

\n

I was a Christian before I lost Mr. Virgo. One of the “hidden gems in the flames” of grief has been a closer relationship with God. That depth of love has brought me through the darkest days of my life. I cannot imagine how I could have possibly survived this without my faith. There were long nights where sleep simply would not come and anxiety would have me paralyzed and physically ill. I tried everything to make it stop. There were nights I thought about the gun in the cupboard. About how easy it would be to just end this suffering. But…I simply could not do that. After having suffered a near-fatal overdose during a severe depression seventeen years ago, and seeing the devastation that caused my family, I knew full well that would never be my way out. No, somehow I had to find a way to get through this.

\n

I remember nights when I couldn’t pray. I couldn’t form words. All I could do was moan in pain. I would close my eyes and visualize Jesus. I would picture him sitting on a bench in a beautiful garden…his robes as white as snow, his dusty sandals strapped to his road-worn feet. I couldn’t speak before him. All I could do was moan…my pain escaping from my throat in guttural gasps. And when I would look at him, he showed me such compassion. He held his arms out to welcome me into his presence. I walked forward and collapsed at his feet and laid my head upon his knee and sobbed. And he would gently stroke my hair and console me. He loved me as a father…as a brother. He poured his mighty love and light over me and washed away the pain for that particular night with the sincere promise that I could come back any time for more. He is always there…my comforter, my rock. And now look…he poured SO much love and light into me, it flows outward. I finally fully understand the phrase, “My cup runneth over.”

\n

If I bring you anything with my words, let me bring you hope. Hope for brighter days. Hope for sleep-filled nights. Hope for healing. Hope for joy. I couldn’t have done this alone. I have my writing. I have you all. I have the love of friends and family. And I have Jesus. Jesus makes me shine. He most definitely makes me shine. Ok…Rodan & Fields skincare helps, too…but it’s mostly Jesus! ❤️

\n

“In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.”\n‭‭Romans‬ ‭8:26-27‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n

 

\n

#RFGoNaked

\n

 

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2017-06-22T01:55:43-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/06/22/there-is-hope.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Gratitude","God","Wisdom","Aging"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/06/20/beyond-coincidence.html", "title": "Beyond Coincidence", "content_html": "\"Clouds\"\n

I know I have been delving into matters of faith a lot the last few weeks. I know there is a delicate balance between what people are willing to listen to and that point where they shut down and say, “Yeah, ok. I’ve heard enough of this.” And they move on. I get it. I really try not to get preachy here because matters of faith are highly personal. And, since I am wont to do, I often share highly personal things here…much to the chagrin of some of my family and friends. Sometimes what I talk about might make you uncomfortable. That’s ok. Feeling uncomfortable once in a while is good. It makes us think. It helps us to question and make choices. The things I tell you about my experiences in my faith, I tell because there is someone out there who has questions but are afraid to ask. I tell you these things because I am amazed at how God works in my life, even as I have come to expect it. That being said, let me tell you what happened in my world yesterday.

\n

First, I’ll go back a little. You know how I’ve been working on my social media platform. My agent wants to see my numbers go higher. I’ve been doing everything I can and asking for God to open doors for me. And steadily, the numbers trickle in. One new like. Three. None for weeks. Two. Slow and steady. I was feeling impatient. I could see where God was leading me, but I just wasn’t seeing the results I wanted. It was really frustrating. Then I went to Revival. And I learned to start every single prayer with “Thank you, Lord…for every provision.” I praise him and thank him for this and that…naming specific things. Then, and only then, do I enter into the action-word portion of my plea. This is what I think I need. How can I better serve you? What do you need of me? I knock on the door of God’s heart and ask him to bring me the words he wants me to say and the people who need to hear them. I ask him to Bless me, indeed. Expand my territory. Walk with his hand over me and keep evil far from me so that I may not feel pain. And I went to Revival. I was anointed. There was the laying of hands on me. Fervent prayers were made on my behalf. I received the gift of the Holy Spirit. I developed new friendships in faith. I entered into a faith-filled community and came out changed.

\n

I told you yesterday that I went to the little white church on the hill to say farewell to the young Pastor Matt. I told you he had helped me access places deep within. The prayers over me in the last several weeks have been focused on my writing, my blog, my ministry. Fear was driven from me in some weird supernatural way that I still can’t quite understand. Then Sunday, Pastor Matt anointed us all one last time to help us get whatever we need, whatever we are searching for. He prayed on our behalf. His prayer Sunday was for a huge opportunity. As a matter of fact, I think he said something like, “Something big is coming, girl. Like, soon.” Soon. Ok, how about 27 hours? I received an email yesterday from the reporter who interviewed me for the New York Times a little over a year ago. Now, this woman has been on my mind for the last two or three weeks. I’d pick up my phone to send her a text to check in. You know, to put myself in the front of her mind in case she’s working on a story she can use me in. That New York Times article was a huge boost for my blog. But, just as soon as I would start to look up her e-mail address, Spirit would whisper. “Put it down. She knows. She remembers.” And I would put down the phone and go on. Yesterday, she sent me an e-mail saying she’s working on an article about widowhood and retirement for a large financial company for their online magazine and could she use me in this article. Yes, she remembered me. She reads my blog. I am honored because she is a very prolific, well known author. I am honored she wants to include me again. But I am most of all…blessed. Indeed. I’m getting another opportunity to expand my territory. And God most certainly walks with his hand over me and keeps evil far from me.

\n

When I replied, I told her that she has been on my mind the last few weeks. I told her the timing couldn’t have been more perfect because I need to boost these social medial numbers. She wrote back and said this online magazine is read by 1,000,000+ readers over the age of 50. Wow. Just…wow. I had to tell you. I had to share with you. This is how God is working in my life. I come expecting great things. I see the provision come and it stuns me. Coincidence? Some of you may think so. Planetary alignment? My moon is in Aquarius? My chakras are aligned? You may think that. But I know. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt who orchestrated this. This is a God thing…plain and simple. Thank you, Jesus. ❤️

\n

“Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?”\n‭‭Matthew‬ ‭6:26‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2017-06-20T01:55:20-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/06/20/beyond-coincidence.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Gratitude","God","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/06/18/lawzy-lawzywhat-have-i-done.html", "title": "Lawzy, Lawzy...What Have I Done?", "content_html": "\"Refinishing\n

Oh…I almost hate to show you what I’ve gotten myself into. Y’all are gonna sit there and roll your eyes and shake your heads. As with most projects, the more you tear into it, the more you find needs doing. Thank goodness my friend, Mr. Fix-It, is willing to help me with the heavy stuff. We cleaned everything out of her today so we could get a good look at the job ahead. We started by making a list of what needs doing and setting priorities. First off was the realization there is no earthly way of getting this thing done before I leave for Colorado next month. Not and do it right anyway. Sigh.

\n

First off, there are several wooden ceiling joists that have rotted through and need to be removed and custom cut to the curvature of the roofline. Once those are tied into the frame, the roof needs to be completely removed, a new underlayment placed, new wiring and insulation, then a new roof placed on. Once the roof is done, the windows come out and any rotten wood replaced. The windows will be sandblasted and glass replaced then the windows go back in with caulking. There are some cabinets that need to be removed. Also the bunk in the back comes out. Then the floor gets touched up and mended. Once the wiring and the insulation in the walls is replaced, paneling goes in making it an open room. There will be a double bed on a platform in the back. I will find used furniture to convert into a cabinet/kitchen/workspace. I don’t necessarily want a gas stove in this camper but there is one so but we’ll see. A small convection microwave and an electric convection hot plate would be fine. I might have a small refrigerator…not sure. I want a closet with a luggable loo and up front I’d like a couple of comfy chairs and a small table between them. Very simple inside. I just need a cozy place to sleep out of the rain.

\n

I know she looks like a ton of work, but I’m in a place right now where I love a challenge and I need another joyful thing to look forward to. So…I have named her “Oh, Be Joyful!” I’ll call her “Joy” for short. My challenge for myself is to find as much stuff as possible free to fix her up with. I love the idea of salvaging and putting as little money in her as I can while still making certain she is roadworthy. This is indeed going to be a joyful experience!

\n

I went to church last night and the pastor preached on Exodus. He pointed out that even though the Israelites were freed from slavery, they were still in bondage because they looked backwards at the chariots full of Egyptians bearing down one them. In order to break free from the bondage you are in, you have to have faith and move forward. I am weary of watching for chariots carrying grief. I’m moving forward…with “Joy”! Isn’t that a beautiful thing? ❤️

\n

“For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling; he will hide me in the shelter of his sacred tent and set me high upon a rock. Then my head will be exalted above the enemies who surround me; at his sacred tent I will sacrifice with shouts of joy; I will sing and make music to the LORD. Hear my voice when I call, LORD; be merciful to me and answer me.”\n‭‭Psalm‬ ‭27:5-7‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n", "date_published": "2017-06-18T01:55:02-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/06/18/lawzy-lawzywhat-have-i-done.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Camping","Fun","Gratitude"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/06/17/and-sothe-camper-addiction-begins.html", "title": "And So...The Camper Addiction Begins!", "content_html": "\nThe obsession has begun. The camper was ready to be picked up yesterday afternoon. The gentleman I purchased it from had to get the title for me. A lot of time these old campers have no title...just a bill of sale. Depending on the state you are in, this can be a huge, drawn out, expensive problem. I have passed on several affordable campers because there was no title.\n

A torrential downpour hit just as I pulled up to the house. After ten minutes or so, the clouds broke and I was able to hook up the camper. I thought I should check the air in the tires before I drove too far so I headed to the nearest gas station. Upon further inspection, the tires were so old and dry rotted, I didn’t dare put more air in them. The first order of business was the dreaded DMV…that black hole where time is sucked into a whirling vortex and spits you out several hours later…poorer, starving and frazzled. After sitting an hour and a half, my number was next. That’s when the nice DMV lady stood up and said, “I know it looks like we aren’t doing anything up here, but I finally reached someone I know in Charleston and the entire state’s computer system is down. We will let you know if it comes back on.” If. Not when…IF. Sigh. I waited a while and gave up. If I got stopped without tags, I’d just have to show the trooper the title and tell them the story.

\n

Stop two was Walmart for tires. I prayed the entire way, driving 35 miles an hour with my flashers on. I breathed a sigh of relief and sent up a prayer of gratitude when I arrived safely. I was thrilled when they had trailer tires in stock that fit. I went ahead and bought a new spare as well. I know there are some people who run car tires on a trailer but I have been taught you shouldn’t do that. I always run 8-ply trailer tires on my campers. It probably took two hours at Walmart but those tires are perfect and you could really feel the difference in the way the camper felt being towed. $200 is a small price to pay for safety. I hated to put those nice new tires on those ratty old wheels. I have a friend who knows a guy who will sandblast the rims and paint them with a powder coat finish that is baked on. It lasts much longer than painting the rims. That, however, can wait and be one of the last things that gets done.

\n

The camper followed right along behind me, just like it’s supposed to. I got her home, backed up the driveway like a pro, unhooked like a boss, and covered her with a tarp. She needs a new roof so the tarp will have to do until that can happen. Now, to name her! Someone suggested “Aretha” (‘cause she’s a Franklin and just needs R-E-S-P-E-C-T!). That’s cute! I have some ideas on decorating. This one is crying out for really comfortable, real furniture…not “camper cabinets”. “The Country Cottage” or “The Cozy Cottage” sounds lovely. Or “Fernweh” which means wanderlust. I could call her “Fern” for short. “The Merry Widow”? Let’s hear your suggestions! ❤️

\n

“For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.”\n‭‭Matthew‬ ‭7:8‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2017-06-17T01:55:55-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/06/17/and-sothe-camper-addiction-begins.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Camping","Fun","West Virginia","Gratitude"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/06/12/motivation-monday-a-whole-lotta.html", "title": "Motivation Monday: A Whole Lotta Happy", "content_html": "\"Three\n

Yesterday was a really great day! I went to church with a friend and heard an amazing sermon about bridging the gap between churches. I attend a young church. The pastor said when he first got started, the other pastors around town were calling him and offering words of encouragement. The other pastors prayed for our success, which is how it should be. Then, we started to grow. Word got around town that the Warehouse Church was a place where miracles were happening and people flocked in droves. All of a sudden, those same pastors who had been “praying for our success” started talking negatively about our pastor. The thing about denominations is this…Jesus isn’t Baptist, he isn’t Methodist, he isn’t Church of Christ, he isn’t Protestant. He’s just Jesus. We should all be encouraging each other. There is a gap between churches. And there is a gap between Christians who are judgmental of other Christians. We need to bridge the gap. It was a wonderful service.

\n

I’m reminded of Rodney King when he was arrested in the middle of the violence taking place in LA in 1992. “People, I just want to say, you know, can we all get along? Can we get along?” There have been episodes in the past that are as bad as, if not worse than, those we are dealing with now. Like grief, violence and anger and hatred seem to come along in waves. I’m desperately waiting for peace again because violence hurts my spirit. Look at these kitties. The two younger, orange and white ones, always make a wide berth around Ol’ Mama Kitty, and for good reason. She’d just as soon swat you as look at you, although she’s almost always sweet with me. After all, I am the Goddess of Food. But for some reason, last night these three were chummy. Kitty Boy, the youngest, was so happy and purring so loud he was actually making little mewling sounds. It was so sweet. What made this night different than all other nights? I don’t have any idea. But I’d like to bottle happiness and spread it around.

\n

We are to be lights in the world. Let’s go out there and keep shining, no matter what the climate is, ok? ❤️

\n

“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”\n‭‭Romans‬ ‭12:18‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n", "date_published": "2017-06-12T01:55:03-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/06/12/motivation-monday-a-whole-lotta.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","West Virginia","The Farm","The Cats"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/06/11/what-lies-beneath.html", "title": "What Lies Beneath", "content_html": "\"Old\n

I was awake bright and early yesterday. I love staying at my cousin’s house up on North Mountain. They have a pavilion overlooking a pond. We had a cookout Friday night and a lovely visit. I went to sleep to the sound of whip-poor-wills and awoke to the lowing of cattle at dawn. I left around 8:00 and headed to visit my uncle and two aunts. I took my uncle for a ride in my new truck and ran errands. We had a nice lunch and I picked some sour pie cherries before heading home.

\n\"Sites\n

The drive back to the farm takes you through an area called Seneca Rocks. There are some really amazing rock formations. A climbing school teaches people to take advantage of the sheer, vertical rock walls. For the less adventurous, horseback rides are available that take you the long way around and very close to the top. You can hike the rest of the way up. I’ve done that before…it was amazing! There are two old timey stores and a restaurant. One of my favorite things is the old Sites Homestead…especially when they are holding a special event like yesterday’s quilt show. Women were sitting around quilting or preparing long rag strips to make rag rugs out of. I had a lovely conversation with the Heritage Gardener. I was going to quiz her to see if she knew what that awesome “hairy berry” plant was that I found this week and when I turned to her…there was a huge Wine Berry bush right there. Go figure!

\n\"The\n

As my new friend showed me around the homestead, she gave me a tour of the historic quilts. Most of the quilters were identified as well as where they lived, when the quilt was made, and the name of the quilt pattern. She made a point to show me this one particular quilt. It was hung so that the sun could shine through it. She pointed out the quilt within the quilt…a Double Wedding Band covered by a Dresden Plate when the old quilt got too worn. When I saw that, it reminded me of the resiliency of the Spirit. When we are tattered and worn, broken seemingly beyond repair…the Spirit cleanses us and makes us new again when we ask. It’s so simple…so remarkable…such a miracle. I loved the frugal nature of the quilter…nothing was wasted.

\n\"Sour\n

I arrived home as the sun was setting. I sat in the backyard and listened to my own whip-poor-wills. The mama robin swooping in to feed her nestlings. The kitty rubbing my legs, welcoming me home. The deer foraging on the hillside. The possum ambling out from behind the barn hoping to get a bite or two of cat food. I sighed…a contented smile on my face. Another day in Paradise! ❤️

\n

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.”\n‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭5:17‬ ‭ESV‬‬

\n", "date_published": "2017-06-11T01:55:02-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/06/11/what-lies-beneath.html", "tags": ["Family","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","West Virginia","The Farm","Gratitude","God","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/06/09/yes-siri-live-in-the.html", "title": "Yes, Sir...I Live in the Country", "content_html": "\"Coon\n

One of my biggest treats as a child was to go to Harrisville with my Pop-Pop. We would go to Stout’s Hardware for a part for the Gravely, or maybe seed potatoes and onion sets in the spring. This is one of the last old timey hardware stores around these parts. Still with the original hardwood floors, Stouts has one of everything and two of most. You can get parts for a pressure cooker, lawn mower blades, salt licks, marshmallow and weenie roasters, coon urine…. Wait! What? Coon urine?! Yes, just look in the photo closely. Right next to the flavor injector for your deep fried turkey, and the ginormous spatula, and the paper targets for shooting practice, you can buy your bottle of coon urine to spray on yourself when you go coon hunting so the little critters don’t get scared off by the smell of your Old Spice. This begs a question…does someone who coon hunts even WEAR aftershave? Does he shave? I don’t know. I have a picture in my head of people chasing raccoons around trying to get them to pee in a cup. Then I read this is synthetic urine. Ok, someone had to duplicate raccoon urine. How’d you like to have that job? “So, you’re Ann’s husband. What do you do for a living?” “I had to figure out what raccoon urine smelled like and duplicate it.” “Nice. Oh, look…there’s John. Will you excuse me?” Or how about one of the guys from Deliverance? I keep hearing banjos and envision speckled dogs with ropes tied around their necks, baying in the back of a rusted out pickup. Not that there’s anything wrong with coon hunting, I suppose. They’re varmints that get in the garden and the trash and make a general mess of everything. And, there ARE people who eat them. I probably have relatives somewhere who eat them. I really don’t want to know what kind of ground meat is in that SOS. Really…I don’t.

\n

I’m not stereotyping West Virginians as hicks who eat vermin and talk funny. We have a bad enough rep when the evening news chooses to focus on the basest of stories about us hill folk. But, I’ll tell you what…you know you’re in the country when you can buy coon urine and weenie roasters side by side.

\n

I made the trip to Stouts to look for those gizmos you screw into the overhead porch light that adds a couple electrical outlets. I want to string some outdoor lights on the porch for summer entertaining and Christmas lights in the winter. I figured they would have them if anyone did. They did. My fix-it friend installed my new ventless gas space heater in the bathroom yesterday. While the gas was off, I installed a new mantle and globe in the gas light in the front yard. I also needed sealant for my new wooden picnic table I got for my birthday. I borrowed Mr. Fix-it’s pole saw to trim out some of the saplings and weeds along the creek bank before they totally take over. Lots of little odd jobs getting done around the farm before I head west with my camper next month.

\n

I love country living…it brings me such joy! ❤️

\n

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.”\n‭‭Romans‬ ‭15:13‬ ‭ESV‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2017-06-09T01:55:47-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/06/09/yes-siri-live-in-the.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Fun","West Virginia","The Farm","Gratitude"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/06/08/the-walkabout.html", "title": "The Walkabout", "content_html": "\"Roosters\"\nI've been walking a lot the last three days and wanted to share some photographs I've taken along the way. Hopefully, you can get a flavor of June on the farm.\n\"Turtle\n

Yesterday was really chilly. So chilly, in fact, I had to draw the bedroom window nearly closed and drink hot tea. This has been one of those weeks where I either sleep like a stone or I’m awake all night. I hate those nights. It gives me too much time to think. In the past, my mind often led me down paths where I really had no business going and anxiety would rear it’s ugly head at me.

\n\"\"\n

One thing I have come to know through these Revivals is I have power over darkness. I can send Satan packing with my words. I am a scientist. I worked in medicine for decades. I was married to a doctor for 21 years. And…this I know…doctors do not know everything. When I went through that severe depression as my second marriage was failing, I saw a psychiatrist who spoke death into my life at every visit. He kept saying to me, “This is just the way you are. You have a chemical imbalance in your brain and you have to take all of these medicines every day for the rest of your life, just like a diabetic takes insulin.” It’s no wonder I couldn’t pull out of depression. Those words alone were depressing, let alone the circumstances in my life that were contributing to it. Once I got with a competent doctor, it took him an entire year to convince me I really didn’t have a chemical imbalance and I could safely go off all that medication. It took another two years…two years of withdrawal symptoms with this electrical “zapping” feeling behind my eyes…before I was safely off the medications. All told, I lost a decade of my life unnecessarily. It was wicked darkness.

\n

We get what we order into our lives. We can speak depression and anxiety into our lives and we can speak it out. I am not advising you stop any medications your healthcare provider prescribes. I am not giving medical advice. My spiritual path has set me free from the chains that held me captive for so long.

\n

Living a simplified life has opened my heart, expanded my mind, eased my spirit, and strengthened my body. I can walk freely these days and forge through the challenges life throws at me much more quickly because I know God is there with me always. I am filled with awe and wonder at this amazing life I’ve been blessed with. ❤️

\n

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”\n‭‭Philippians‬ ‭4:8‬ ‭ESV‬‬

\n", "date_published": "2017-06-08T01:55:56-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/06/08/the-walkabout.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","West Virginia","The Farm","God"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/06/07/getting-filled-up.html", "title": "Getting Filled Up", "content_html": "\"Basket\n

Whew! Revival…can you stand some more? The young evangelist who led the Revival at Grandma’s church a few weeks ago has four churches in his charge. At the ripe old age of 26 or so, this guy is a crackerjack, for sure. He’s leading a Revival in a church in a neighboring community this week. I was able to attend the last couple of nights and let me tell you, it was just as powerful (if not more so) as the first one I attended.

\n

As I sat listening to this young man preach and I looked over the attendees, I got this vision of a bunch of baskets. I’d go back to listening, then pretty soon I’d be thinking about baskets again. As I drove home, I slowly made my way through the twists and turns of country roads, watching for deer and any other critters. I no sooner pulled out on the two-lane blacktop when the baskets were back. So, I did what I always do when something incessantly niggles at my brain and I can’t get rid of it. I had a conversation with God.

\n

Me: OK, Lord…what’s with the baskets?

\n

God: Wait a minute…is that any way to start out a conversation with me? What were you just telling the good folks at church? Something about “thanks”, I think it was.

\n

Me: You’re absolutely right…Lord, thank you for never having your phone off the hook when I call you! Thank you for always being there and for the blessings you give me. I’m confused though. Why are you showing me baskets?

\n

God: Look at these baskets. They’re all different shapes, all different sizes. They have different patterns, different colors. They have one thing in common…they are woven. They can carry lots of things. Eggs, vegetables, flowers, stones. But, what if I were to ask you to carry water from my well in one of these baskets? Could you do that?

\n

Me: Of course not…they are woven. There are holes in them. The water would run right through!

\n

God: That’s right…it would. You are like a basket. You are woven together in exactly the way I patterned you. All the people of the world are like baskets. They are as different as fingerprints. And, they all have holes in them. You are a thirsty people. When you take your basket to the well, you can’t carry the water you need to quench that thirst. It falls on the ground.

\n

Me: Ok. I can see that. I still don’t understand what you’re getting at.

\n

God: I am the most important water…the Living Water. That is the only Water that flows from MY well. Would you have the Living Water spill out on the ground and be wasted?

\n

Me: No! Of course not! But how can I keep that from happening if I’m a basket full of flaws and holes?

\n

God: Ahhhh…I’m glad you asked! It’s very simple, really. You have to line the basket with something waterproof. Something that will plug up the leaks so you can carry my Living Water within you.

\n

Me: What would do that? What could I use?

\n

God: The recipe is simple. You start out with a good strong base of Obedience. Then you spread on a thick layer of Faith. Top that off with a whole bunch of Prayer and you’ll have a strong, waterproof lining that will carry my Living Water. Then you can drink to your heart’s content and quench that thirst you’ve been carrying around with you.

\n

Me: What if my basket springs a leak?

\n

God: The enemy will try to poke holes in your basket at every turn. You must always be vigilant. I have given you power…super powers to be exact. Your words are mighty weapons. Speak life into your situation. Tell the enemy to stay away from you and leave your basket alone!

\n

Me: As simple as that?

\n

God: As simple as that.

\n

We complicate life. We worry. We suffer anxiety at every turn. When we use our words to speak life into our lives, darkness has no choice but to flee. When we create a waterproof lining, we can carry anything…Water, light, precious gems of goodness. Watch how you think. Then watch how you speak. Speak love and light and life into your lives. You’ll march through the crises of your lives much quicker when you plug up the leaks. ❤️

\n

““Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it."”\n‭‭Matthew‬ ‭7:24-27‬ ‭ESV‬‬

\n", "date_published": "2017-06-07T01:55:17-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/06/07/getting-filled-up.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Gratitude","God","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/06/05/in-my-own-voice.html", "title": "In My Own Voice", "content_html": "\"Woman\n

For those of you who are fairly new here, the whole thing started with this field. Twenty-two years ago, I brought the kids to West Virginia to introduce my future son-in-law to the family. Daughter #1 was about 19 and #2 was about 4. We went for a drive in the country, came around a bend, and here was this field filled with what looked all the world to be giant marshmallows. #1 told #2 that this was a Marshmallow Ranch. “This is where they grow the marshmallows really big then they cut them up in little pieces, put them in bags, and sell them at the stores.” she said.

\n

Years later, I owned a little needlework shop called Needles & Pins. When I made items to sell in the shop, I created an art division of the company and called it Marshmallow Ranch because it was cute and catchy. Three months before Mr. Virgo died, I revived the name and began making handcrafted jewelry and art out of antique silverware and maps. I opened an Etsy shop and started this page. When I became a widow, I really wished I had a grief mentor to walk me through the painful journey ahead of me. Since I didn’t, I decided to BE that mentor for others and began blogging about what I was going through, with an honest and open heart…no matter how ugly it got. I already had around 400 followers at this point so I just kept the name and that started four years of daily blog posts. It’s been an interesting, painful, challenging journey. It has also been filled with hope, love, and joy…something I certainly couldn’t see starting out.

\n

I didn’t really start speaking in my own voice until death whipped every ounce of pretense out of me. I had spent two decades as a Jewish doctor’s wife and never really felt “authentic” in that space. When you are raised in the home of an unpredictable alcoholic, you learn to tap dance for your supper. When you are born into a family with a child with a developmental disability, you learn to not give your mom any more trouble than what she is already facing. You learn to be the clown, to not rock the boat, to make everyone laugh. Above all else, I wanted to make my mom laugh. In so doing, I became a chameleon. I “changed colors” with my environment in order to fit in.

\n

When I couldn’t keep all the balls in the air anymore, I dropped into a deep depression and spent seven years in what has come to be known in my family as “The Prozac Years.” I cannot be held entirely responsible for my behaviors from 1993 through 2000. Prozac altered my personality and I didn’t care about anything or anyone…a fact I’m still making up for. I was much more genuine the seven years I was with Mr. Virgo, but still, I hid parts of who I was…from him, from my family, from everyone. Grief has a way of stripping you bare. Your heart breaks open wide and shatters to the floor in a million shards. At some point you realize you have come to a crossroads. Stay where you are with your heart at your feet, or pick up the pieces and put yourself back together as best you can. What better time to drop all pretenses and become the genuine “you” you were born to be? I would stand in front of the mirror and ask God to show me who He wanted me to be…who He had MADE me to be. And bit by bit, piece by piece, I discovered my genuine voice. It’s much easier to just BE than it is to try to fit in.

\n

That’s the peace you see on my face when you send me such lovely messages about my pictures. That is the genuine, real me…relaxed in my own skin for perhaps the first time in my life. What you see is God’s love shining through me. I’m merely a conduit, passing on the Light I have been graced with. My cup is full to overflowing. ❤️

\n

“Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.”\n‭‭1 Peter‬ ‭3:3-4‬ ‭ESV‬‬

\n", "date_published": "2017-06-05T01:55:48-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/06/05/in-my-own-voice.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","West Virginia","The Farm","Gratitude","God","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/06/04/learning-more-new-things.html", "title": "Learning MORE New Things!", "content_html": "\"Woman\n

I did it! I changed the oil on my truck all by myself! Well, ok…I watched a YouTube video and my fix-it friend sat there and watched and answered any questions. There was some question as to which bolt was the plug to the oil pan so he got down under the truck with me. We consulted the video again (he’s not familiar with Fords) and once we agreed I had the right bolt, I was on my own. Next, I had the hardest time trying to find the oil filter. I went back to the video and figured that out. I was pleased I had the strength to turn the oil plug and the filter to remove them. All told, the whole thing was done in 45 minutes. I did have to buy an oil pan and a filter wrench for the first change, but after this, I can change my oil myself for $35. And that’s using Mobil 1 Full Synthetic oil. I use that because I tow the camper and it’s better for the truck. The same thing would cost at least $80. If I would have known how easy it was, I would have done this myself all along! I felt SO accomplished! I didn’t get greasy and dirty. It was easy peasy. I have been gifted by God with abilities to learn and do mechanical things. I can’t take the credit for that.

\n

I went to the hardware store to get a dryer vent cover to keep the birds from nesting in the vent tube. When I got it home, I realized the cover that is on there is attached and couldn’t be removed. Upon further inspection, I could see there was a metal flap in there that is supposed to close down on the opening when the dryer isn’t running. I got a flashlight and could see there was a great deal of lint and old wasp nests holding the flap open. I got a long, skinny screw driver and cleaned out years worth of impacted lint and now it closes fine. No more birdies in the dryer vent!!!

\n

On my way home from the hardware store, I stopped at the cemetery. I had decorated the graves for Mother’s Day and Memorial Day before I left for Florida. But, when I went yesterday, the flowers for Grandma and Pop-Pop’s graves were gone. The rest were there but not my grandparent’s. That chaps me…the lowest of the low to deface and steal in cemeteries. I’ll replace them this week.

\n

That was my day. We will soon be “knee deep in June” here at the farm. People are putting up hay so I’m sneezing my head off, even with my allergy meds. Ahhh, this too shall pass. The melons are getting good flavor. It won’t be long till there are fresh green beans and tomatoes at the produce stands. Life is oh so good here on Marshmallow Ranch! ❤️

\n

“Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God.”\n‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭3:5‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n", "date_published": "2017-06-04T01:55:01-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/06/04/learning-more-new-things.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Fun","Gratitude"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/06/03/learning-new-things.html", "title": "Learning New Things", "content_html": "\"Nesting\n

My dryer hasn’t been drying my clothes lately. They toss and turn and tumble and take forever to dry. I just couldn’t figure out what was wrong. I cleaned the lint out of the lint trap and that didn’t help. I looked down the dryer vent and saw the beginnings of a nest and cleared it out and it worked fine. But, by the time I left for Florida, I noticed it wasn’t drying at all. I didn’t really have time to mess with it before I left and the whole time down there I kept thinking I was going to have to buy a new dryer. Well, remember I told you how nice it is to have guy friends that you can run things by when you have questions? I asked one of my handy fix-it dudes what could be wrong. He said to go look in the dryer vent tube again. I assured him I had already done that and it was fine. He said, “Humor me.” So, I went back and….look what I found!!! That bird had completely filled the driver vent with leaves, moss, grass plus the lint it had managed to catch. OMGosh! It’s a miracle the house didn’t catch fire. The dryer did what it was supposed to do…when it didn’t flow right, the heat shut off. Thank God! I cannot express enough how important it is to check these things often. I am going to the hardware store and buy one of those vent covers that will keep this bird out of there. I think she must have abandoned her efforts because there were no eggs in this mess.

\n

You have to learn how things work when you’re on your own. You might be able to have a family member or a guy friend or neighbor fix things, or you can hire them done, but you have to have some sort of basic knowledge about how the stuff works in your house in order to know when things need fixing. I happen to love fixing things and I am constantly learning how much I don’t know! When I called my friend back, I sent him these pictures and he was suitably impressed. I thanked him for making me take a second look. Then I said, “Hey…I need to get the oil changed on my truck. Is that hard to do?” He said he does his all the time. So, guess what I’M going to learn how to do today??? Pictures to follow!!! ❤️

\n

“I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.”\n‭‭Psalm‬ ‭32:8‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n", "date_published": "2017-06-03T01:55:03-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/06/03/learning-new-things.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","West Virginia","The Farm"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/05/28/shooting-stars.html", "title": "Shooting Stars", "content_html": "\"Sun-kissed\n

I didn’t go anywhere yesterday. I sat out on the front deck with my coffee for a couple of hours then took a short walk on the beach. It was already getting hot and oh so crowded, so I came back to the condo and sat on the front deck for another two hours reading and writing. True decadence. I cooked a nice supper and went down with a chair to sit on the beach for sunset. I had a lovely conversation with several people and was gifted this photo of myself. I have to tell you this…and I’m not being vain or self-aggrandizing. But, it’s been a long, long time since I felt this beautiful. It was such a peaceful day. The sun was setting. The mist began to settle in on the beach and my skin felt dewy and fresh. I even had a glass of my “merlot”…a dealcoholized wine made by Fré that I really enjoy…as I watched the people strolling up and down the shoreline. Some 40-year-olds tossed a football back and forth. A little 12-year-old girl practiced on her surf board. I sat out till long after dark, watching the stars come out and the moon slowly set. I saw two huge shooting stars overhead and counted my many, many blessings. I had heard there were fireworks scheduled after the concert down at the pavilion by the pier. I saw two or three small ones but it didn’t amount to much. Then I walked up the beach with a flashlight looking for crabs and jellyfish. I saw a few, and also the first seagulls I’ve seen during this trip…only three or four of them. Lots and lots of pelicans, though.

\n

So that was my day…peaceful, joyful, happy, and oh so grateful!

\n

“Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart’s desires.”\n‭‭Psalms‬ ‭37:4‬ ‭NLT‬‬ ❤️

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2017-05-28T01:55:13-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/05/28/shooting-stars.html", "tags": ["Travel","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","The Grand Adventure","Fun","God","Aging"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/05/17/my-resting-place.html", "title": "My Resting Place", "content_html": "\"Peony\"\n

Last week there were two mornings where the temperature hovered just a tad above freezing. I was so happy that my flowers and the cherry trees didn’t get nipped by Old Jack Frost. And just like that, the temps soared up to the 80’s yesterday. When it gets like that, it’s too hot to sit on the front porch after the sun crosses the house and starts its decent over the far ridge. It doesn’t go behind that ridge till just before 7:00, but after that…the porch is my domain again.

\n

I struggled a little yesterday. Loss encroached into the periphery of my life over the weekend and even though it didn’t affect my inner circle, sometimes other people’s loss stirs my own feelings. I so seldom have a bad day anymore. Really. I can certainly tell when I wake up, which way the winds will blow, and yesterday was a little stormy. Not bad. Not nearly like I’ve had in the past. My grief has always gone out through the pit of my stomach and I have learned to just let it pass. I’ve learned to listen to my body and give myself permission to have a mattress-surfing day. I had my “Emergency Down-Day Kit” at the ready. I rode the wave back into shore and as the house cooled, so did I.

\n

Riding that wave and finding my resting place reminded me of those long, dark early nights of grief when I would have what I referred to as…bad nights. There were nights when the only way I made it through was to visualize sitting at the feet of Jesus, resting my head on his knee, and letting him stroke my hair the way my mother did when I was a child. I knew that I was God’s child, and that my resting place was in that place in my heart where Christ lives. There was a woman who came to sing at the Revival last week. She sang a song she wrote about finding her resting place in Jesus. It is comforting to me when I learn I am not alone in this journey…that there are others who have struggled, who struggle still, and that I’m really ok.

\n

My grief is different now. It’s fleeting. It’s temperate. It’s diffuse. It’s not even filled with Mr. Virgo like it was. It’s more like a cloud of sadness that settles for a little bit then lifts and moves on. If I let myself delve too deep, I could stir up too many things and I’ve learned that doesn’t serve me well. I’ve also learned it doesn’t hurt me to indulge myself in this bit of reverie. It’s a giant emotional yardstick that illustrates how far I’ve come since March 12, 2013. It will always be there. I don’t know what stirred it this time…probably the loss I’ve seen in others lately. Today is a new day…I have tools…I have hope…I have love…I have God. What more could I need? ❤️

\n

““Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.””\n‭‭Matthew‬ ‭11:28-30‬ ‭NIV

\n", "date_published": "2017-05-17T01:55:55-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/05/17/my-resting-place.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","West Virginia","The Farm","God","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/05/10/busy-as-a-bee.html", "title": "Busy as a Bee", "content_html": "\"Carpenter\n

Yesterday was a mowing marathon. I no sooner finished till the rains came. I barely finished before it was time to head to church again. Revival. Who knew I’d enjoy it so much. I have to say, I truly have never experienced anything quite like this. Last night’s sermon was about the Holy Ghost. I never really understood the Holy Spirit till just the last few years. There’s a contingent of women attending this Revival who have a more Pentecostal background and I mean to tell ya, it got downright lively last night. I felt exhilarated when I came out of there.

\n

As I was mowing yesterday, I was mulling over the events of the past couple of years. I’ve suffered from anxiety issues for much of my life. I remember my first panic attack in second grade. I was thinking while I mowed about the anointing I had the first night of the Revival and I wondered if I could have Pastor Matt pray over me about those anxieties. Then I just had this really clear vision that I have the power to keep that at bay by simply speaking it into truth. I have experienced the dark come at me when I step strongly into the Light. I turned and looked around me and made a decision. I walked the boundary of the yard and declared my borders. I declared out loud that no evil thing can cross this boundary. I turned to the house and raised my hands and asked God to bless this house and all who enter…their coming and their going. I must have looked like a crazy woman standing out there in the yard, hands up, talking out loud. But, you know what? I didn’t care! I’m tired of those dark things chasing me and nipping at my heels. So, I rebuked them. And it felt good. I felt so peaceful afterwards.

\n

Then I finished mowing.

\n

I discovered something very cool at Lowe’s the other day. Wood borer bee traps. And, they work! I have one on the front porch. I put it up after I filled the borer bee hole with silicone caulk. I have another for the back porch. In the meantime, I had to prepare my notes for today. I’m being interviewed for another podcast episode on Janine Pettit’s show…Girl Camper. We’re going to be talking about camping in Colorado. I’ll let you know when it goes live. In the meantime, Happy Wednesday! ❤️

\n

“Then Jesus said to him, “Away with you, Satan! For it is written, ‘You shall worship the LORD your God, and Him only you shall serve.’ ””\n‭‭Matthew‬ ‭4:10‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

\n", "date_published": "2017-05-10T01:55:02-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/05/10/busy-as-a-bee.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","West Virginia","The Farm","God"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/05/06/mistakes-or-lessons-learned.html", "title": "Mistakes? Or, Lessons Learned?", "content_html": "\"Faucet\"\n

Farm life. For this mostly city girl, there’s been quite a lot of learning going on the last nine months. I’ve learned to recognize the call of several different birds by sound. I’ve learned to pick up the cat dishes at dusk to keep the strays and other nocturnal critters off the back porch at night. I’ve learned who to call for pest extermination. Who NOT to call for handyman services. I’ve learned how to turn off the gas to the house, reset the regulator, and relight everything. I’ve learned how to mix the gas and oil for a two-stroke engine and how to change the reels on a gas trimmer. I’ve learned about numerous bugs, snakes, and varmints and how to keep them at bay. I can identify quite a number of trees, plants, and flowers. I’m feeling pretty accomplished over here.

\n

This house had a sweet water well dug before I was born. That all changed when they capped three wells up the holler behind the barn in the late ’50s. Somehow the aquifer was fractured and the water has been briny ever since. In the early ’60s, a cistern was built with an elaborate filtration system to catch the rainwater off the roof of the cellar house and that was the source of drinking water here on the farm. That is, up until my return last August. I discovered the water flow from the cistern was reduced to barely a trickle. My aunt had been boiling it and drinking it anyway, just as it’s been done for years. I have no idea when the filter was cleaned nor have I any idea when some bleach was poured into the reservoir. When I got here, there was cistern water in the fridge that was actually moldy so that was the last of that. I bought bottled water until I gathered about ten gallon jugs and now I fill up at a friend’s house when I’m in town. You learn to adjust when you live alone.

\n

One thing I was always told was to protect our well with everything I had. While we don’t drink from it, we do bathe, wash clothes, and do dishes with it. It is vitally important. The other day, I was doing some deep cleaning. The water here has a lot of iron in it so the tub and toilet turn red after a while. There is a powdered product called iron out that I use in the tub and toilet to remove the rust stains every six months or so. It was time. I turned on the hot water in the tub, put in the plug, and walked away to answer the phone. I promptly forgot the water was running. About 45 minutes later I went into the bathroom and was facing a tub full of black water. Air was coming out of the faucet with spurts of equally black water. OMGosh! My heart sank. I ran out to the cellar house and, thankfully, the pump was still running and not seized or burned up. I pulled the plug from the wall to give the pump a rest. I went to the porch and sat down to collect my thoughts.

\n

What had just happened? I ran the well dry, that’s what happened. For the first time that I knew of, the hot water tank emptied and the water dipped below the foot valve down in the well. So, what do you do when something happens that has never happened before? Why, you Google it, of course! Between Google and YouTube, I’m becoming quite a farm girl! I was somewhat reassured by what I read online. As long as I hadn’t burned up the pump, and we aren’t in a drought (it was raining buckets when I wrote this last night), the cavity where the foot valve sits deep in the well should refill. How long that takes depends on the well’s production rate.

\n

Thankfully, right about then I heard the crunch of tires on the gravel driveway and a much more knowledgeable friend pulled up. I told him what I had done. He assured me I did everything right (thank you, Google) and we decided to give it a couple hours to refill and see where we were. He wasn’t sure if we might have to prime the well. Turns out, we did not. We plugged in the pump, it whirred to life, and within a very short time, I could hear the timbre of the sound change indicating it was indeed pumping water. Once the dark water that represented the sediment in the bottom of the hot water heater and some air came through the pipes, the system was good to go and I breathed an audible sigh of relief.

\n

Another crisis averted. Another lesson learned. Don’t walk away with the water running or the tea kettle on (ok, I bought a whistling one so that would never happen!) Growing old is not for sissies. Turns out, neither is farm life! Even with mistakes and do overs, I feel pretty good about all I’ve learned while living here. ❤️

\n

“You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.”\n‭‭John‬ ‭14:14‬ ‭NIV‬

\n", "date_published": "2017-05-06T01:55:30-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/05/06/mistakes-or-lessons-learned.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","West Virginia","The Farm"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/05/05/at-last.html", "title": "At Last...", "content_html": "\"Rhododendron\n

I was sitting out on the front porch yesterday…drinking coffee, solving the crossword, checking in with friends, listening to the Norah Jones channel on Pandora, watching the spring showers blow through in waves. It’s been a crazy week with trips to town for one thing and another every day since I got back from my last trip. Yeah, I know…it’s rough. But, I was really relishing a few hours of peace and quiet before a friend arrived in the afternoon for a visit. It felt good to just BE for a little bit. Those moments always turn something on in my heart…like fine-tuning the dial on a radio to get the station perfectly clear.

\n

I was lost in reverie when Etta James came on with her sultry, smooth voice…“At Last”. Oh…there was a time when the mere thought of that song made me burst into tears. That was the song Mr. Virgo and I danced to at our wedding. The one…and only…time he ever danced with me. I can still remember the way my hand rested in his, the sparkle in his eyes, the early spring sunshine slanting through the panes of glass in the sun room of the restaurant where we were married. I remember the way the smooth, black and white tiles felt beneath my feet as he gently guided me in a four foot square…not standing still but not really dancing either. Just moving and sharing a special moment.

\n

I was so excited to marry that man. My second divorce had left me yearning for a loving connection, as if changing my name would be another chapter further into the story of my life…further away from the pain and heartbreak that had come before. Our relationship was sweet and trusting, a mutual love and respect that soothed my broken heart and made me whole again. Three weeks shy of six years later, my heart shattered again when he died right in front of me.

\n

Yes, there was a time when this memory would have caught me off guard and I would have been reduced to a puddle of messiness and pain. And, I’m sure there will be a time in the future when it triggers something that will open that wound again. Not yesterday. Yesterday, I smiled and remembered the way his suit coat felt when I laid my hand on his chest as we danced, his strength and confidence a source of comfort to me. I could almost smell his Halston cologne. I wish I could remember what we said to each other in that moment but it is lost to me. I wish he had liked to dance. I love being held in a tall man’s arms.

\n

I was brought back…to the porch, to myself, to this beautiful life I am living…by the stunning sweep of a Pileated Woodpecker landing on the dead tree stump in the front yard where I have the rain gauge. At last…I have come home to myself and I’m anchored in this moment without drifting back into the stormy abyss of grief like a sailor being washed from the deck in a restless sea. At last. ❤️

\n

“You made me suffer a lot, but you will bring me back from this deep pit and give me new life. You will make me truly great and take my sorrow away.”\n‭‭Psalms‬ ‭71:20-21‬ ‭CEVUS06‬‬

\n", "date_published": "2017-05-05T01:55:41-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/05/05/at-last.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","The Farm","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/05/02/slow-and-steady.html", "title": "Slow and Steady", "content_html": "\"Turtle\n

What happens when you hit the wall? When grief raises its ugly head and bites you in the butt? When you “wear the same jammies four days straight” and can’t get out of yourself like a friend of mine did recently? It happens. When you think you’re done with grief, that b**** will grab you by the short hairs and lay you low…just like that. So, what do you do?

\n

Having an accountability partner helps. If you have that trusted friend, let him or her know if they don’t hear from you in “x” number of days, send in the troops. I knew my friend had “gone dark” and I was about to go roust her up and force feed her when she did it on her own.

\n

I had a hard and fast rule…I simply would not allow myself more than two consecutive days of “mattress surfing”. If I had to crawl to the kitchen for coffee and do nothing but pull on sweats and run a brush through my hair, at least I had moved from the bed to the couch. Every little piece of progress adjusts your thinking and that adjusts your reality. I know, I know…much easier said than done in the throes of grief. Just do your best.

\n

On the days that you are feeling good and upbeat, don’t let yourself forget what the dark feels like. Make yourself some care packages in preparation for those down days. Get a little gift bag or pretty tote. Fill it with a box of tissues, some good chocolate, a coloring book and crayons, a favorite magazine or two with lots of colorful, glossy pictures, a fresh pair of jammies and clean socks, a new toothbrush and a different flavor toothpaste, a little bottle of perfume, maybe a little makeup, a nice new tea and a new mug. You can get these things at the dollar store…they don’t have to be fancy…just readily available. If you do manage to get up, go straight to your kitchen sink and scrub it…whether you want to or not. There’s something about a shiny, clean sink that sets the tone. And, try making your bed if you manage to get up. It’s less inviting to jump back in when the bed is dressed and so are you.

\n

There are days when it comes back as fresh and new as it was, this grief we have in common. But remember, when you slip…when you pull back in your shell… you aren’t going back quite as far as you were. Not back to the beginning. Hang in there. Stay vertical as much as you can. And treat yourself with the same kindness and compassion you would offer a dear friend. ❤️

\n

“Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you…”\n‭‭3 John‬ ‭1:2‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2017-05-02T01:55:03-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/05/02/slow-and-steady.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/04/29/life-is-a-beautiful-thing.html", "title": "Life is a Beautiful Thing", "content_html": "\"Woman\n

Life is about choices. Every day we are faced with the choice to rise up and grab life by the tail and wring every ounce of, what…joy, love, happiness, laughter, beauty, energy, excitement, sweetness? All that and more await us every day. Even if you struggle with depression, anxiety, grief, sadness, fear, loss….there is room for choices in your life.

\n

Two weeks after Mr. Virgo died, I had a choice to make. I could die, metaphorically. Or I could live…really live. With joy and abundance. It was not easy. Especially early on. But I made every day count. I looked for joyful things to put in front of me to make life bearable. I surprised myself with joy. And, the more times I chose joy, the lighter my load became. It wasn’t overnight by any stretch of the imagination. But bit by bit, every positive choice helped bring me up from the abyss into the light.

\n

Travel has been one of the joys that has helped me the most in my grief. Whether alone or with a friend or group of friends, seeing new places, challenging myself in different situations, and finding new parts of myself has been an amazing journey of growth and self-discovery. This trip has been no exception. I am very grateful I got to tag along with a friend in a gifted week at a timeshare. It was a lot of fun as well as relaxing.

\n

Choices. Choose life. Choose joy. Choose laughter. Choose gratitude. I know. It’s not easy. Even in my darkest days of grief, I could surprise myself with joy…if even for just a moment. Moments build and time changes things. Whoever said time heals all wounds lied. It doesn’t. But you can build strong scars that show how hard you loved..how hard you fought. Just keep making positive choices. ❤️

\n

“You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.”\n‭‭Psalm‬ ‭16:11‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2017-04-29T01:55:01-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/04/29/life-is-a-beautiful-thing.html", "tags": ["Travel","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","The Grand Adventure","God","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/04/26/the-tempest.html", "title": "The Tempest", "content_html": "\"Stormy\n

Yesterday was one of those days that was so jam packed with fun activities and sights seen that I really should have written them all down. The sun was out this morning so I made a bee-line for the local coffee shop then hit the beach. I soaked up every sight, sound and smell as I sipped my latte. Then I grabbed a quick breakfast in the condo before I headed south. My goal was to travel clear down to the tip of the island, which I did, but that beautiful sunny sky turned dark and threatening so fast. I can see how sailors get in trouble so fast with the changing face of the sea.

\n

I stopped at Bodie Island to climb the lighthouse and as soon as I purchased my ticket and got to the door, the first clap of thunder could be heard in the distance. That automatically closed the lighthouse for tours. It was raining hard by the time I got back to my truck.

\n

I decided to press on and head south. Even though I drove through the worst rain, by the time I got to Cape Hatteras Lighthouse, the sky had cleared considerably. It turned into a beautiful afternoon. I visited the beach in several areas, wandered through shops, and had the best fish tacos of all time at Sandbar & Grill in Buxton.

\n

The weather has not offered a good sunset or sunrise yet. It got really misty and foggy by the time I got back to the condo. The weather is supposed to be wonderful the rest of the week. I’m hoping I get some good beach time before I have to leave on Saturday. ❤️

\n

“Suddenly a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat. But Jesus was sleeping.”\n‭‭Matthew‬ ‭8:24‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n", "date_published": "2017-04-26T01:55:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/04/26/the-tempest.html", "tags": ["Travel","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","The Grand Adventure"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/04/22/rock-on.html", "title": "Rock On!", "content_html": "\"Painted\n

Oh. Em. Geeeee. What a day! I finished packing and hit the road with a full cup of coffee by 10:00. I got to mile marker 82 in I-77 when traffic came to a dead stop. I mean like, get out of your car and meet your neighbors stop. One of the most important things I recommend for travel is a smartphone with access to the internet. While my GPS neglected to tell me there was traffic congestion on my route, Siri informed me there had been a truck fire and emergency crews were working to put it out. Three hours later , I drove past this charred hulk of a semi, a tanker truck still hosing down its contents strewn all over. I couldn’t tell for sure but it was loose bags of something orange.\nI stopped in Wytheville, Virginia for gas and found this painted rock. It’s all the rage right now…paint rocks and leave them places. When you find one, you take a picture of it and say where you find it, then you hide it again. I know a lot of people who do this and it’s fun. I’ll take it to the beach and leave it there.

\n

I pressed on past Mount Airy where I had initially planned to stop but felt I needed to make up for lost time. I thought I could get a room near Winston-Salem but you couldn’t find a room within 100 miles of there due to a furniture show. North Carolina is big in the furniture manufacturing biz. Therefore, I ended up driving till 1:00am and found one of the last two rooms in North Carolina…if not the entire country! The wonderful lady at the front desk gave me a great deal for a large, comfy king-sized room and check out isn’t till noon….yessss!

\n

The floaters in my eye bugged the heck out of me till it got dark. I’m told my brain will get used to the floaters and I won’t notice them. That can come now, please. With that, I’m closing and hitting the hay. Tomorrow (today!) is another day! ❤️

\n

“You’ll travel safely, you’ll neither tire nor trip. You’ll take afternoon naps without a worry, you’ll enjoy a good night’s sleep. No need to panic over alarms or surprises, or predictions that doomsday’s just around the corner, Because GOD will be right there with you; he’ll keep you safe and sound.”\n‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭3:23-25 MSG‬

\n", "date_published": "2017-04-22T01:55:54-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/04/22/rock-on.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Fun","West Virginia","The Farm"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/04/20/the-honeydo-list.html", "title": "The Honey-Do List", "content_html": "\"The\n

I am fortunate to be sort of a tomboy. Ok, in a girly, tiara-wearing princess kind of way. I’ve never shied away from getting into difficult jobs and pulling them off. When my mom died, I remodelled her house almost completely by myself. I hired the electric and the outdoor painting. And I couldn’t hang the cabinets alone because I wasn’t strong enough to hold them up and screw them in on my own. I tore the kitchen out to the walls. I did the countertops, sink, garbage disposal, GFI outlets, tiled the backsplash, put in under cabinet lighting, installed Pergo flooring, coped the baseboards, tiled the entryway, sweated pipes, installed the appliances, refinished hardwood floored, installed a new front door, new light fixtures, painted the whole interior and redid the bathroom clear down to the sub flooring. It was crazy!

\n

I had done a few of those things before, but most I had to learn as I went along. I hear from a lot of women that they don’t know the first thing how to do the maintenance around the house since their husbands died. A lot of women have never changed a tire or mowed the lawn. A lot of men have never balanced a check book or done laundry.

\n

I can’t tell you how many YouTube videos I’ve watched to learn how to do things. Google is my best friend. I have a Reader’s Digest book called the ABC’s of Home Repairs. Any home store like Home Depot or Lowe’s has knowledgeable staff that help you figure out how to do things and sometimes they have classes on topics of interest. The library is still a good resource for information. Some large cities have coops where you share tools and skills. If do-it-yourself is truly not your thing, you can hire it out if you can afford it. I like the barter system myself. Everyone wins with a good barter.

\n

The key to successfully completing any task you are unfamiliar with is education, education, education. Let go of fear and self-doubt and step into your self-reliance with a new bravery. What kind of problems have you come up against? What kind of skills have you learned? ❤️

\n

“I can do all things through him who strengthens me.”\n‭‭Philippians‬ ‭4:13‬ ‭ESV‬‬

\n", "date_published": "2017-04-20T01:55:17-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/04/20/the-honeydo-list.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/04/18/the-moon-bath.html", "title": "The Moon Bath", "content_html": "\"The\n

Bathing al fresco by the light of the moon was a necessity in the mid ’90s. Having a total hysterectomy caused me to wake up from anesthesia with complete menopausal symptoms on top of the surgical pain. I struggled for the next seven years till we finally got my estrogen level up to something I could live with. I had hot flashes that sat at a ten on the Richter Scale and no one wanted to be anywhere near me. I didn’t blame them…I didn’t want to be near them either. It was miserable.

\n

I brought my children home for visits with the family every single summer. If you have ever suffered through August in West Virginia, you’ll have some idea what Dante’s Inferno was all about. With the heat and humidity, one could not begin to imagine running a bath or taking anything but a cold shower. I’m not sure how it began, but along about the time my youngest was three or four years old, we started taking “Moon Baths”. Where that tub sits in this picture, there used to be a 50 gallon drum to catch the rainwater. A few years ago, it didn’t get emptied in the fall and when it froze, the bottom busted out of it. Since then, there’s been a galvanized tub strategically placed at either corner of the bathroom addition to catch the rain.

\n

One night back in the mid ’90s, I was so sticky hot and Daughter #2 had just about had it with the whole “let’s go visit grandma and watch eggs fry on the sidewalk” thing. I was carrying groceries in the back door when I looked over and saw that cool water in the water barrel and all I wanted to do was drop everything and stick my head in it. As soon as it was dark enough and everyone had turned in for the night, my Little and I grabbed a bucket of warm water from the bathroom and carried it outside. She looked at me with some trepidation. I smiled and said, “Trust me!” We gathered bar soap, shampoo, wash cloths, towels and clean night clothes and headed for the backyard. I explained, with great authority, that we were about to take our very first “Moon Bath”. I stripped down to my all-together and Little happily followed suit. We soaped up with the warm, sudsy water from the bucket, lathered our hair, then took that enamel saucepan off the nail and dipped fresh, cool rainwater over us to rinse off. We squealed with delight at the shock of water that felt so cold at first but soon felt perfect as we acclimated. Squeaky clean and refreshed, we dried off and dressed for bed. It became a nightly ritual and I think we continued to do that every visit till Little got too big.

\n

My time in West Virginia now is opposite of what it used to be. I spend my summers in the rather temperate climate (comparatively) of Colorado. It is semi-arid there and a shower indoors is not a bad thing. But, should I spend any hot August nights here again, you can rest assured I’ll be bathing in the moonlight at the corner of “ooooh” and “aaaah”! ❤️

\n

“Let a little water be brought, and wash your feet, and rest yourselves under the tree,”\n‭‭Genesis‬ ‭18:4‬ ‭ESV‬‬

\n", "date_published": "2017-04-18T01:55:10-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/04/18/the-moon-bath.html", "tags": ["Family","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Fun","West Virginia","The Farm"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/04/16/saying-goodbye-to-sunshine.html", "title": "Saying Goodbye to Sunshine", "content_html": "\"Sunrise\"\n

My friend Jamie is doing some really hard stuff this weekend. Her dear friend Angie is dying. Actively dying. Cancer is such a brutal disease. It robs everyone of time, health, dignity. There is nothing good about cancer. Yet, in this midst of dying, there can be moments of grace. Angie has a young daughter she won’t see graduate or marry or have babies. In some of her last lucid moments, she was able to dictate three letters to be given to her daughter on just those occasions. What a gift that will be for this young woman to have her mom reach out to her from beyond, just when she needs her most.

\n

I think we all wish we had hidden letters from our moms. Letters that tell us how loved we are…how proud we made her…how she wishes she could be there but she’s watching from above. I can’t imagine losing my mom at seventeen. I know Angie’s friends will step up and be there for the important events. They’ll be sounding boards and support systems and surrogates. It’s going to be a rough go for everyone.

\n

The only time I ever sat at someone’s bedside while they were dying was in support of a friend. Her grandmother was unresponsive in the nursing home. Being Jewish, my ex-husband and I were called to the bedside to recite the sh’ma (also called the shema)…the prayer sung over and over for the dying. We stayed till nearly dawn when we needed to get back home for the baby. An hour or so later, our friend called. When we saw the caller ID, we expected to hear her grandmother had died. Instead, we were greeted with laughter when we answered. It seems our friend was calling relatives to report the current status when the phone slipped off the night stand and fell crashing to the floor. Grandma sat bolt upright in bed and yelled, “$&@?@ €#£|$@….what does a person have to do around here to get a decent night’s sleep???” The dying often rally before the end. Angie did…after a night of everyone sitting around her bed, singing songs and praying…she woke up Friday morning singing “I’m Too Sexy For My Shirt”…much to everyone’s delight. At this writing, she is unresponsive again and it is just a matter of time. She…the owner of the megawatt smile. She…the fellow Gemini who met me once and became my lifelong friend. She…who will leave a giant hole in the hearts of all who knew her. Angie…who would love that I told you a funny story rather than cry about her dying. We honor those who touch our hearts.

\n

See you on the other side, Sunshine. ❤️

\n

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.”\n‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭1:3-4‬ ‭ESV‬‬

\n", "date_published": "2017-04-16T01:55:55-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/04/16/saying-goodbye-to-sunshine.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/04/13/what-a-trip.html", "title": "What a Trip", "content_html": "\"Cement\n

High anxiety. Even with four years under my belt. Even with good grief counseling and EMDR treatments. Even with plenty of prayers, introspection, and traveling 55,000 miles. One medical emergency sends me into a tizzy. I worked in medicine for years. I x-rayed accident victims long before they got cleaned up. I’ve had babies and surgeries and countless trips to the ER. Doesn’t make one iota of difference. I don’t handle emergencies well since Mr. Virgo died. I have a tendency to melt down and throw up and then I berate myself for being weak. Even though I know I shouldn’t. It’s not my fault my brain works differently now. It just does. Grief has altered the way my brain functions, physically as well as emotionally.

\n

This week I took my friend V on a tour of my hometown, searching for the perfect things to do during the Sisters on the Fly event that we’re planning in September. We were driving up this street and saw…a giraffe, in someone’s front yard. We looked at each other and V laughed. “Ok, we don’t have time for this but go around the block, will you? I need a picture of that!” Dutifully, I pulled back around for this fun photo op. V jumped out of the truck and crossed the street behind me and I took the opportunity to check my messages and e-mails.

\n

Several minutes passed and I began to wonder what was taking her so long. Suddenly, I heard the “whoop, whoop” of an ambulance right behind me. I jumped out of the truck to see what was going on. There was V, laying in the street with a man bending over her, his car parked nearby with the door still open. OMGosh! The first thing that went through my mind was he had hit her and knocked her down. Fortunately the ambulance was at the stop light a block away and saw what had actually happened. It turns out V had stepped in a pothole, turned her ankle, and went down in a flash, hitting her head on the curb. When I got over to her, she was surrounded by people and was obviously both disoriented and anxious about all these unfamiliar faces so near.

\n

I immediately went into panic mode. My fight or flight response wanted me to run to the next state, which is actually pretty doable considering we’re on the OH/WV border. Equally strong was my desire to help my friend. After an evaluation of her injuries, it was determined she should go to the ER and get checked out. I followed the ambulance and called a friend on the way to talk me down. I got V her purse, watched them wheel her back through the double doors and promptly threw up. I simultaneously felt better and horrible. How can I help those I love when I can’t handle emergencies?

\n

Anxiety sucks. It’s invisible. The person you are freaking out on has no idea what is going on in your body. They just know you aren’t showing up for them. It’s irrational, but you are convinced you are going to die. You have this terrible fear of throwing up or making a scene and that makes it worse. Your palms sweat. Your heart pounds. Your skin crawls and gets alternately hot and cold. You feel breathless and faint and desperately nauseous. It’s horrible. It makes me feel weak, even though I know deep down I am a strong woman. The only thing I can do is use some Rescue Remedy spray under my tongue, concentrate on my breathing, and pray. It helps when I have an understanding friend that I can call and just listening to a calm voice soothes me. I’ve had EMDR treatments, and…believe it or not…this has infinitely improved. It’s an odd thing, though. It doesn’t happen every time. I can be in similar circumstances and one time I’m fine…another, I’m a mess. I think that’s one of the most frustrating parts.

\n

I always tell you, plain and simple, what life is like for me after losing my husband. Grief is unpredictable, messy, and such an enigma it can really mess with your mind. Everyone who experiences grief has a different story. I tell mine in an effort to embolden you to tell yours. To talk about what you’re going through. A week, a month, a year or five years. Talk about it. Tell your stories. A burden shared is halved. ❤️

\n

“Joshua said to them, “Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Be strong and courageous. This is what the Lord will do to all the enemies you are going to fight.””\n‭‭Joshua‬ ‭10:25‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2017-04-13T01:55:26-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/04/13/what-a-trip.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/04/12/days-gone-by.html", "title": "Days Gone By", "content_html": "\"Outhouse\"\n

My friend V is an artist. We were going to paint yesterday but one thing led to another and we didn’t get to. I hope we can another time. When we explored the farm, V snapped several photos that I just love. This will bring back memories to many of you. When I was growing up in town, we had all the modern conveniences. But grandma’s house didn’t have indoor plumbing till I was six or seven. Up until then, this was the toilet. The bath was in a galvanized tub on the kitchen floor. Laundry was done in a gas-powered wringer washer on the back porch after many years of scrubbing on a washboard. The laundry hung on the line. I still remember how stiff and scratchy the towels were when they air dried but oh…the sheets were divine.

\n

When we were rummaging around in the barn, we found pants stretchers. Who remembers using those? We always used them on the men’s work pants. They are a metal frame that you slipped into each pants leg, then stretched it out tight till the pants were smooth and had a crease in the front and back. That was before permanent press.

\n

We also found an old telephone that was pretty cool. I do not recall seeing that in this house, but I wouldn’t swear it wasn’t from here. Those weren’t easier times and I will bet my grandma wouldn’t have called them simpler either. But it was an honest time where you went to bed tired, you burned your calories working, and you sure as heck didn’t have GMO’s on your plate. You were frugal and fixed things. You mended sheets, darned socks, took the buttons and zippers off worn out clothing before they went in the rag bag or the quilting stack. You didn’t sass back or you found yourself on the receiving end of a hickory switch. If you wanted something, you earned it. If you lied or cursed, you got your mouth washed out with soap. If you were good, you got to lick the beaters or ride to town to farmer’s market.

\n

Those may not have been easy times, but in many ways, they were the best of times. In others, they were not. Discrimination, inequality….I’d love to say they’re gone, but I’m afraid they’re not. Hopefully things will become more peaceful and loving again. It hurts my heart to see some of the things in the world. I have wonderful memories here and I get to live them all over again. Days Gone By are here again. ❤️

\n

“I remember the days gone by; I think about all that you have done, I bring to mind all your deeds.”\n‭‭Psalm‬ ‭143:5‬ ‭GNT‬

\n", "date_published": "2017-04-12T01:55:31-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/04/12/days-gone-by.html", "tags": ["Family","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","West Virginia","The Farm"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/04/08/the-art-of-aging.html", "title": "The Art of Aging", "content_html": "\"Old\n

To quote Anne Lamott… “Age has given me what I’ve been looking for all my life - it gave me me.” In a few short weeks I’ll be 64. Sixty-four trips around the sun. Sixty-four birthday cakes. Sixty-four years of blood, sweat, and tears. Three weddings…four if you count the renewal of vows in the second marriage. It didn’t help…it still fell apart. Two beautiful children. Two grandchildren. Births. Deaths. New loves. New heartbreaks. More new loves. I don’t know…eight or ten “careers”? I’m a Gemini…sue me!

\n

I’ve come to believe that aging is an art form. Look at this beautiful woman. There is mirth, secrets, love, resignation, wisdom in every crease of her face. Her eyes are windows to her soul. She is not perfect. But she is real. She embodies the crone. The dictionary defines crone as a “withered, witch-like old woman”. There is a movement now of honoring women over a certain age as fountains of wisdom, information, and grace. Finally, we are beginning to relish living in our own skin with our wrinkles, silver hair, age spots, cellulite, and comfortable tummies. We have found ourselves. Sometimes it’s through great acts of bravery…like, getting a divorce or becoming a widow and managing our worlds in spite of the pain. Sometimes it’s through the loss of children. Sometimes it’s when we find ourselves abandoned or abused. We find ourselves through age.

\n

Aging isn’t necessarily pretty. Disease can rob us of our health during what should be our golden years. Sometimes disease robs us of that one true love and our worlds will never be the same. I have a dear friend who lost her husband to cancer. Now, her BFF is dying and while she holds her friend, she has panic attacks and flashbacks of her husband’s decline. This is a brave woman to still be able to be there for her friend. I love her for that. She is a crone…through and through. Her wisdom and love are helping her friend in her transition. She is painting a masterpiece with her heart that would rival any by Monet, Renoir, daVinci.

\n

Aging ain’t for sissies, according to Bette Davis. We are crones. We are wise when we don’t feel wise. Strong when we don’t feel strong. I embrace my inner crone. The outer one is beginning to look more and more like her. My crone-self doesn’t have time for drama. No time for BS. No time for fake people. I’m ready to take on the mantle of crone and be darned proud wearing it. ❤️

\n

“She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.”\n‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭31:26‬ ‭ESV‬‬

\n

Photo Credit: “Old Woman” by Jessica Powers (via Pinterest)

\n", "date_published": "2017-04-08T01:55:19-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/04/08/the-art-of-aging.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Wisdom","Aging"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/04/07/anniversaries-and-stuff.html", "title": "Anniversaries and Stuff", "content_html": "\"Daffodils\"\n

As is typical in the spring, yesterday was vastly different than the day before. Wednesday was a brilliant, sunny, warm spring day. After mowing the lawn, I sat in the sunshine on the porch and it got downright hot out there…80 degrees! Yesterday? Not so much. As the south braced for another day of severe weather, we received the aftereffects of the storm front as it came through. It was wet, grey and cold. The thermometer on the front porch hovered at 40° all afternoon and I was chilled through and through.

\n

I hit the taxes hard yesterday, determined I was going to struggle through them and finish so I wouldn’t have that hanging over my head all weekend. Thank goodness for TurboTax. It’s almost foolproof because there’s no way I can make heads or tails of the old way of doing them. Grief brain has changed the way my brain functions. That, and age. I just don’t have the patience. As it was, it took me a week and a half to get everything done. I swear every year I’ll be more organized but there I was again…searching through my newly updated and balanced check register, recording all my deductions.

\n

I always sit in my rocking chair in front of the dining room window when I write my blog post. As I sat gazing out at the ever greening countryside, listening to the steady hiss of a gentle rain on the tin roof, I sipped my afternoon tea and contemplated how different my life is now. Ten years ago today, I married Mr. Virgo. Ten years. A decade has gone by in the blink of an eye. Well, no…not really. It seems absolutely forever ago since that day, yet I remember it so well. We had been having daily snow storms leading up to the wedding and it was planned for outdoors. I was thrilled when it turned into a lovely, warm spring day.

\n

It’s supposed to be very cold here today…weather that doesn’t match my psyche these days. I’m in a good space. I have much to look forward to. I have people to love and to love me back. I have purpose and peace. I could sit here and feel sorry for myself. I could let my mind wander down a rabbit hole. But that does me no good. Today I take my truck in to get it worked on. Today I have things to do. Today I have a beautiful life and my cup is full. I’ll still think of that handsome man from time to time on this momentous day. But I’ll do it with a smile. ❤️

\n

“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.”\n‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭13:4-8‬ ‭ESV‬‬

\n", "date_published": "2017-04-07T01:55:24-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/04/07/anniversaries-and-stuff.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","West Virginia","The Farm"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/04/05/decisions-decisions.html", "title": "Decisions, Decisions", "content_html": "\"Fork\n

I have friends who are really competent women. They’ve taken care of business all on their own for decades and seem to handle anything that gets thrown at them…with strength and grace. So why do I, as a widow of four years, stumble over something as inconsequential as buying a lawnmower? Holy cats! You’d think I was making a decision of epic proportions!

\n

I went to Lowe’s…twice. I went to Home Depot and Walmart. I went to Rural King…twice. Finally I went back to Lowe’s and bought the first lawnmower. I mean, a lawnmower is a lawnmower, right? Wrong! Apparently, there’s a great deal of importance placed on things like self-propelled, front wheel drive vs. rear wheel, a larger rear wheel, Honda vs. Briggs & Stratton vs. OHV engines, mulch vs. side discharge vs. rear-bagger. There was a time in my life when I would have just bought the most expensive one with all the bells and whistles. Oh, who am I kidding? I would have just payed to have it done. But those aren’t my options now. Decision-making changes with circumstances. I chose the 21" Toro with the Honda engine. It was on sale.

\n

Sometimes I can make decisions like a boss. I took the new truck in because there was a “catch” in the tailgate and I have heard a funny vibration a few times. They tried to tell me it was the turbo I was hearing. No, I told them. I know the difference. This was not the turbo. I went on a test drive and said a quick prayer that the sound would show up while the repair dude was with me. It did. A couple parts have been ordered and it gets fixed on Friday. I didn’t back down when they pulled the “Silly woman, you’re hearing things” trick. But I can’t choose a lawnmower?

\n

There are lots of changes and choices and decisions I have made since Mr. Virgo died. Some I have deeply regretted almost immediately. Some took a while before remorse set in. Others have turned out to be the most amazing blessings and have changed my life in delightful ways. Grief affects the way your brain works and I’ve come to forgive myself when I stumble in the decision making process. I’m not perfect, but I try to do my best. Most things are fixable so if I make a mistake, I’m never too far off course. I just have to remember to cut myself some slack and not be too hard on myself. ❤️

\n

“Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.”\n‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭11:14‬ ‭ESV‬‬

\n", "date_published": "2017-04-05T01:55:55-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/04/05/decisions-decisions.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","The Farm"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/04/02/spring-has-sprunga-leak.html", "title": "Spring has Sprung...a Leak!", "content_html": "\"Redbud\n

West Virginia gets SO much rain! It just pours for days at a time here and while I love the sunshine, the lush green foliage and the rush of the creek outside my bedroom window is delightful.

\n

Yesterday morning, I drove to town to meet my high school girlfriends for coffee. On the way in there was a sign warning “One Lane Road Ahead”. In West Virginia, that means one of three things…a downed tree, a rockslide, or half the road has washed away and you’re left to cross what’s left, holding your breath that the rest doesn’t give way with the weight of your car. Fun times! Fortunately, yesterday was just another rockslide. This one was right where the other one was that I received the warning about. But…this one was HUGE. I’m not sure you can tell, but that rock is about the size of two pickup trucks! Wowza! Ever since “the warning”, I’ve been hyper-vigilant about rocks in the road.\"Rockslide\"

\n

There were fifteen of us at coffee on this spring day. It’s always such a good time visiting with the girls. Some had never gathered like this till I came along and organized it. They always worked and it just took someone making the suggestion to get together. Now we all feel like it’s cheaper than therapy and a whole lot more fun!!!

\n

I drove up to Marietta afterwards and browsed and had a late lunch at Boathouse BBQ…a great place right on the river. There were a lot of trees, branches, and other stuff washing downstream with the high water. Someone’s dock even floated by. You never know what you’ll see this time of year out there.

\n

On the way home, I caught glimpse of the first redbud trees beginning to send their whisper of purply-pink in the woods. The true, true harbinger of spring. Next will be dogwood and star magnolia. The forsythia and flowering quince are still lush. Yellow daffodils mark the sites of old homesteads, long after the houses have returned to the earth.

\n

I priced lawnmowers yesterday. Shhhh, listen. That’s the sound of the grass growing! ❤️

\n

“Ask rain from the Lord in the season of the spring rain, from the Lord who makes the storm clouds, and he will give them showers of rain, to everyone the vegetation in the field.”\n‭‭Zechariah‬ ‭10:1‬ ‭ESV‬‬

\n", "date_published": "2017-04-02T01:55:29-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/04/02/spring-has-sprunga-leak.html", "tags": ["Strong Women","Positive Energy","West Virginia"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/03/31/feel-the-rain.html", "title": "Feel the Rain", "content_html": "\"Rain\n

As I sit here writing this, Norah Jones softly crooning in the background, coffee by my side, I can hear the rumble of thunder in the distance. Another band of storms are about to pass through…the third today. A pair of mourning doves are foraging around beneath the feeders, unfazed by the approaching rain. Finches cling to the thistle socks hanging on shepherd’s hooks and the bright red flash of a cardinal swooping in catches my eye and makes me smile. They say cardinals are an indicator that angels are near. If that is true, the angels visit often because the cardinals are always here.

\n

The sun breaks through the clouds between showers, warming the earth with its golden rays to a downright acceptable 70°. This makes my heart happy. There’s a load of sheets in the wash. Maybe I’ll hang them on the porch to gather the freshness of this glorious spring day to be relished as I gather them about me when I sleep tonight. There are ways of preserving sunshine…fresh linens is one of them.

\n

I heard from a dear friend yesterday. There is a health concern and I sat in my rocker by the window…praying and contemplating how many are facing illness and injury in their lives right now. I was acutely aware of things like that in the immediacy of acute grief. My own experience made me sensitive and I felt everyone’s pain…deeply. I won’t say that feeling ever went away entirely, but life has a way of diverting your attention. You can’t live the rest of your life on the edge of your seat…Damocles’s Sword hanging above you. Somehow I became a little tougher, a little harder of a shell around my heart for self-preservation. My car accident in February broke through that little fence I built around my head…literally and figuratively.

\n

It seems in the last month there has been more and more loss, more and more bad news, more and more worry. Ahhh, but this is the nature of life, is it not? Things go along quite smoothly and we forget what the rough stuff feels like. Not entirely, of course. Never entirely. After all…there are scars when you walk through fire. I will stand by my friend and walk along on this path of uncertainty and do my best to provide reassurance and support. That is what friends do. Some have credited Roger Miller as saying “Some people feel the rain; others just get wet.” If I’m going to live this life…really live it…I want to FEEL the rain. It is the only way I know I’m truly alive. ❤️

\n

“And the prayer of faith will save the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven.”\n‭‭James‬ ‭5:15‬ ‭ESV‬‬

\n", "date_published": "2017-03-31T01:55:47-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/03/31/feel-the-rain.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","God"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/03/30/here-we-go-again.html", "title": "Here We Go Again", "content_html": "\"It's\n

I will bet dollars to donuts that if you scroll back through this blog, every year at this time you will see the same post. Maybe not the same exact words but it’s always the same topic, anyway. I have now spent two entire days working on the computer trying to get my finances together so I can do my taxes. I can guarantee you…the taxes will take 20 minutes. The prep work? Days and days and days. Why? Well…my finances are on an old laptop for one thing. It has plenty of space on it, but it isn’t very compatible with the upgraded financial software and becomes even less so with every subsequent download. While trying to make it communicate with my bank, I inadvertently deleted my entire checking account with fifteen years of transactions. Oh. Em. Geeee. I nearly died. I had the backup but couldn’t get the program to accept it.

\n

Yesterday tech support and I spent hours on the phone and I finally got all but the last two years back. Not a big deal because I can bypass the program and download the data through a back door. But, by the time I got to that step, the program froze and wouldn’t do anything, no matter whether I did a hard reboot or what have you. I finally, for the second time, had to just walk away from it. I’ll try again this morning.

\n

Why do I do this? I used to download and balance my account like clockwork…always coming out to the penny. But ever since Mr. Virgo died, I do it just before taxes and it’s always a royal mess. I know I procrastinate but this is ridiculous. I am going to set an alarm on my phone monthly and not only balance, but do a backup in two places so I don’t ever have to go through this again. What a pain in the keister!

\n

If you’ll excuse me…I’m going to go scream now. Oy. ❤️

\n

“The hand of the diligent will rule, while the slothful will be put to forced labor.”\n‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭12:24‬ ‭ESV‬‬

\n", "date_published": "2017-03-30T01:55:53-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/03/30/here-we-go-again.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/03/18/we-all-rock.html", "title": "We All Rock!", "content_html": "\"Tiny\n

My friend Deneene is a hippie. I say that in the most positive way. She’s free. She wears harem pants and great shirts and forty bracelets. She is always sporting a new henna tattoo. She’s an accomplished horsewoman with nerves of steel. She’s a widow with a healing heart. And…she paints rocks.

\n

She shared this talent with the Girl Campers last weekend at Blackwater Falls. I tried my hand at it and I’m not sure I have the patience it entails to do such small details. I have to admit, I did not fully understand what this whole rock painting thing was about until I saw the Western WV Rocks page on FB. People paint these rocks and stick a little label on the bottom instructing the finder to post a picture on the Rocks FB page and where they found it. Then they hide it someplace else for someone else to find. Some people write inspirational messages on the rocks instead of pictures. Some write scriptures. It’s great fun and a free way to connect with others and send joy out into the world!

\n

A few months ago, I noticed Deneene had taken an interest in all things elephant. Rings, necklaces, harem pants…if it had an elephant on it, she was diggin’ it. For a long time, she couldn’t figure out why she had this sudden fascination. It seemed like everywhere she turned, there was an elephant. Over the weekend, Deneene was telling her new friends the story of losing her husband to a sudden heart attack. She told them how Mike told her he’d had some episodes of “asthma” that made him feel like he had an elephant sitting on his chest. She suddenly stopped in mid-sentence and had an A-HA moment. Just like I see bluebirds and others smell cigar smoke around me, she’s getting elephants from her guardian angel.

\n

Deneene told her daughter about the elephant sightings and she pooh-poohed the whole thing saying it was a coincidence. I went to lunch with Deneene yesterday and we went into an antique store afterwards to look around. She had just finished telling me about her daughter’s skepticism when we both looked down at a bowl and gasped. There, sitting on the top, was a beautiful elephant cookie cutter!!! I mean, really…when was the last time YOU saw an elephant cookie cutter? I’ve been baking for 50 years and I’ve never seen one!

\n

Guardian angels. Elephants. Blue birds. Cigar smoke. I believe. The Bible says humans do not become angels. But it’s also very clear we HAVE guardian angels. What better way to let us know they’re watching out for us than to leave a trace that is unmistakably connected to our lost loved one? I find it so comforting and reassuring to know…with absolute certainty…there is so much more than what we see in this world. ❤️

\n

““But about that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.”\n‭‭Mark‬ ‭13:32‬ ‭NIV‬‬t

\n", "date_published": "2017-03-18T01:55:10-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/03/18/we-all-rock.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/03/13/how-the-girls-help-with.html", "title": "How the Girls Help With My Grief", "content_html": "\"West\n

I belong to a couple of camping groups that I’m active with. Sisters on the Fly came first. Lying in my bed four years ago, I clutched my iPad to my chest and  searched through my photo albums for every picture of Mr. Virgo. I was bereft. My heart was shattered and I wasn’t sure I could survive such a loss. Instinct…sixth sense…Holy Spirit…I was led to seek out other women to walk with me on my path.

\n

I found a letter to the Reverend Billy Graham the other night. In it, a widow of just a few months explains how her husband died unexpectedly in his sleep and she didn’t get a proper goodbye. She asked Rev. Graham to help her. I was heartened when I read his response. He told the new widow to put her faith in God and find other widows she could help. In the helping, she would find help herself. That is exactly what Marshmallow Ranch has done for me. And Sisters on the Fly was the springboard that got me started.

\n

A couple of years ago, I went to the Country Living Fair in Nashville with the Sisters. It was there I met Janine Pettit. Janine was a breath of fresh air and sunshine in her signature red plaid. She was working the show with goRVing.com and spoke with knowledge and eloquence about all things camper related. Janine is a huge promoter of women getting out there and “Going Places…Doing Things”. I was drawn to her immediately. I’ve been a guest several times on her Girl Camper podcast. She’s developed quite a following as she encourages women to take the plunge and join any of the girl-camping groups.

\n

This past weekend, I joined Janine and eighteen or so Girl Campers for a crafting weekend in a cabin at Blackwater Falls State Park. I took my friend Deneene with me because soon she will be observing the second Angelversary of her husband’s passing. We met Cindy there. Cindy’s husband died one year ago today. Damn. Women supporting women through the good times and the bad times while reaching beyond our boundaries…that’s why I joined these groups. The comfort and support I give is returned to me 100-fold. I love my camping sisters. As I observed the passing of the fourth Angelversary, I was reminded how incredibly blessed I am. To have God and to have love.

\n

And now….the fifth year begins. ❤️

\n

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.”\n‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭3:5-6‬ ‭ESV‬‬

\n", "date_published": "2017-03-13T01:55:06-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/03/13/how-the-girls-help-with.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Sisters on the Fly","Camping","West Virginia","goRVing","Girl Camper"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/03/11/road-trip.html", "title": "Road Trip!", "content_html": "\"Country\n

When life hands you lemons, call up the girls…the Girl Campers, that is! Last week I saw that my Girl Camper friends were having a girl’s weekend in the mountains of West Virginia and I thought to myself, “You’re gonna NEED that!” So, I signed up. I called up one of my local friends for a road trip and off we went. It’s been an adventure already, let me tell you!

\n

Deneene plugged the address into GPS and we left around 1:30. The forecast was for snow in the mountains but most of the drive was partly sunny. We chatted happily about this and that when Siri told us to turn off the highway. I’ve been here a dozen times and I thought it odd, but I’m always up for some new scenery so I didn’t say anything. Each road became smaller and smaller with every turn. For the most part, we were greeted with a marshmallow world where every twig is frosted with white fluff and, thankfully, the roads were clear…till we started climbing.

\n

We hit the first place where the stiff wind was blowing the snow across the road and I started to get a little concerned. It wasn’t long till we were in white out conditions in four-wheel-drive. Deneene and I took turns praying as we climbed ever higher, creeping along. Finally, we turned off the county road to a two-lane blacktop. As we were coming down the mountain, a semi came down way too fast and really freaked us out. There wasn’t any place to get off the road and we were afraid if he got in front of us and jack-knifed, we’d be in bigger trouble so we hung in there and finally made it to the lodge.

\n

We checked in and spent a fun evening with a dozen or so gals, eating big bowls of homemade soup and breads, chocolate, and wine. Some knitted. One quilted. Deneene applied henna tattoos to whoever wanted one. There was lots of laughter. There is always laughter, isn’t there?

\n

Women have been having gatherings since before recorded time. We bond, we grow, we mentor, we listen. We should strive to lift each other up with love, honor and support whenever we can. I, for one, have had a pretty stressful two weeks and I’m tickled to death to be here with my fellow sisters. No worries…just fun for a few days. As my grandma used to say, “It’s good for what ails ye!” ❤️

\n

“May the Lord answer you in the day of trouble! May the name of the God of Jacob protect you!”\n‭‭Psalms‬ ‭20:1‬ ‭ESV‬‬

\n", "date_published": "2017-03-11T02:55:47-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/03/11/road-trip.html", "tags": ["Strong Women","Fun","Girl Camper"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/02/27/the-aftermath.html", "title": "The Aftermath", "content_html": "\"Smashed\n

When Mr. Virgo and I lived in southern Colorado on that 4200 acre ranch, we went out with the four-wheelers for a ride out in the back part of the property. We got into something too steep and turned around to head back down. Mr. Virgo was ahead of me quite a ways till he was actually out of my sight. I was coming slowly down the hill wondering where on Earth he was when I rounded a bend and found him standing alongside the road, bent over, hands on his knees, glasses gone, shirt ripped and dirty, gasping for breath. The four-wheeler was no where to be seen. I pulled up and stopped, and my brain had trouble processing that he had been in an accident. Thank God I didn’t see him when he drove off the cliff or when he landed on the log six feet below, or when the four-wheeler came down right on top of him! There are some thing God shields you from. When I finally understood what had happened, I got him on the back of my ATV and drove him down to the nearest cabin, left him with a water bottle and a gun, and high-tailed it down off the mountain to get my SUV. I raced back up to get him, praying in both directions that he would be ok.

\n

Coming off the mountain was painstakingly slow as every bump sent him reeling in excruciating pain. He was quite grey and I knew he was shocky but he couldn’t lay down because half his ribs were broken and he had a hemo-pneumothorax. Finally, I got him to the little ER in town and they were going to let him go home with pain meds. I insisted they do a scan and they found the extent of his injuries and sent him via ambulance to a tertiary trauma center. I called everyone I knew to pray for him. He ended up in the hospital for a week and it took months for him to heal.

\n

While this accident I was in last week has shaken me up, it’s nothing as bad as what Mr. Virgo went through. He was so strong and stoic. I’m doing ok. My only real pain at this point is still my chest from the seatbelt and airbag. I do have the classic symptoms of a concussion. I have a very low grade headache and have a tendency to tell the same story repeatedly or forget where I’m going in the middle of a sentence, but that’s not all that new, truth be told! I’m going to stay in town with friends one more day and then I’ll head home tomorrow. I’ll actually get more rest because the errands will be done. Continued prayers are appreciated as I navigate insurance, repairs/replacement of the truck, added appointments, rental car, and continued healing. I appreciate all of your concerns and well wishes. They mean so much to me! ❤️

\n

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”\n‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭41:10‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2017-02-27T02:55:37-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/02/27/the-aftermath.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/02/18/time-to-say-goodbye.html", "title": "Time to Say Goodbye", "content_html": "\"Old\n

Seven dogs have owned my heart. One at a time, these fur babies stole into my life, took up residence in my bed, got up on the furniture, snuck my sandwiches and left morning surprises behind the odd chair or sofa. They let the world know they were a part of my life by decorating every stitch of my clothing with hair the exact opposite darkness of what I was wearing. They destroyed shoes and doors, carpets and toys. They changed the way my house smelled and the way I looked at the world. They changed me…for the better. Eventually, they all made their way to the Rainbow Bridge to wait for me. And, they invariably took a piece of my heart with them when the left.

\n

There were two dogs in my life that I had to find new homes for. One was a standard poodle who was gorgeous and well bred who came to me at a time in my life when I was building a business and going through a divorce. The dog was extremely high energy and surprisingly destructive. She needed to be in a home with another busy dog to wear off some of that energy instead of being cooped up in a needlework shop where there were just too many tempting things to chew on…like a customer’s custom hand painted needlepoint canvas from France. $700 later, Sadie lived quite happily on a farm where she was free to run and live out her days.

\n

Zoey was a City Market box puppy who threw up the entire drive home. She was one of those fur babies you bring home because you made the mistake of taking your 12-year-old daughter to the store with you. Zoey and I had a difficult relationship from the beginning and it got exponentially worse after my second child was born. She became increasingly aggressive towards the baby. Messes I could clean up. Hurting my baby was unforgivable. So, Zoey ended up with another family without children. Unfortunately, she lived a short life when she was frightened by lightning and was hit by a car.

\n

A friend of mine had to make a very difficult decision yesterday. She rescued a dog a couple of years ago who had a tendency to nip heels as his breed was wont to do. The dog was fine with my friend, and also with her room mate. But, if anyone came near the house, the dog became increasingly aggressive. She tried everything from shock collars to behavior modification to separation and isolation. She broke him of many things like chasing other animals but there was nothing short of muzzling and crating him to keep him from biting people who came too close…the last one fairly severely. That’s no way for a dog to live, and before he could hurt a child or do serious damage, she made the heartbreaking choice to euthanize him.

\n

And loss of a fur baby is hard to take, but the guilt my friend is feeling is compounded by already grieving the loss of her husband. Our fur babies are family and sometimes we have to “adult up” and do the responsible, if undesirable, thing. We grieve our losses…any losses. And the loss of a fur baby is as big to some people as the loss of a human. My heart is with you, D. Please feel comfort in the fact that you gave your boy two really good years that he would not have had without your huge heart trying to rehabilitate his dangerous behaviors. Grieve as you need to. I’m here for you. ❤️

\n

1 Corinthians 15:39 (KJV) “All flesh is not the same flesh: but there is one kind of flesh of men, another flesh of beasts, another of fishes,and another of birds.” Luke 3:6 (KJV) “And all flesh shall see the salvation of God.”

\n", "date_published": "2017-02-18T02:55:01-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/02/18/time-to-say-goodbye.html", "tags": ["Family","Grief","Strong Women"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/02/10/another-prayer-for-anna.html", "title": "Another Prayer for Anna", "content_html": "\"Two\n

On the 24th of January, I wrote a post called “A Prayer for Anna”. My friend from high school lost her husband on the 22nd to a sudden heart attack. I knew, as many of you do, what she went through. That feeling of losing the life you had, the life you had planned, your best friend and your life partner. I know what her children went through as they tried to process their loss and break the news to their children that their Papa wasn’t coming home. That was what she dreaded the most…telling her five grandchildren.

\n

Wednesday evening, I went out to dinner with my niece at The Boar’s Head, a British Pub and Restaurant. Seriously, the Low Country Shrimp and Grits were fabulous! We had a wonderful meal and walked up and down the waterfront for a while. It was so nice to visit with her. She is a Major in the Army Reserves and going back to school to get yet another degree. I’m very proud of her. My phone was on fire towards the end of the evening but I didn’t look at it till I got back to the B&B.

\n

When I got settled in my room, I looked at my phone and got sucker punched in the gut. Our Anna…new widow, soon-to-be-retired nurse, beloved mother, grandmother, and friend…was dead. Seventeen days after her beloved died, Anna was gone.

\n

My friend had a family history of heart disease and after her husband died so suddenly (as well as her younger brother dying and another brother having two heart attacks), she got a full workup. Just this past Monday, Anna had a cardiac cath and everything was fine. Wednesday, she was feeling good physically, and…as we know…she needed to get out and get some fresh air and sunshine, so she went out to walk the dog. We can all imagine what was running through her mind so new into this journey. Sometime into her walk, Anna had a heart attack and died. I have a friend who is a cardiac nurse and she suggested Anna may have had what is referred to as “Broken Heart Syndrome”. There isn’t a blockage, but the heart muscle is weakened from the stress of the loss and she likely suffered an arrhythmia that caused her to have a heart attack. I don’t know, but I assume she was walking alone and was found down. Whatever the details, the point remains…her two daughters lost both parents, unexpectedly, in the matter of seventeen days. That is horrifying.

\n

While this is most certainly not about me, this kind of loss can make grief rear its ugly head. Things have been going really well for me the last few months. And…as grief is wont to do…just when you feel you may have recovered, your journey catches up with you to remind you there will always be work to do. I was broken-hearted when I got this news. I couldn’t even begin to sleep and stayed up much of the night commiserating with my classmates online. We are all in shock and our hearts are with the girls and their children.

\n

I am so glad I had the opportunity to see Anna at our 45th high school reunion in August. Like I said in my post on the 24th, she and I didn’t really know each other well in high school. But, we were FB friends and we were all excited that Anna was coming to the reunion. We visited and laughed and promised to get together once she retired. And, now she’s gone. I’m still having trouble processing that. What it drives home is this…life is so tenuous. It is a thread…a hair’s breadth…a whisper…a heartbeat between “here” and “not here”. The mystery of life awes me and scares me yet comforts me in that I know there is life after this. An eternal life of living in the presence of a loving and forgiving Father. I know Anna has been reunited with her Prince Charming of just shy of 42 years. She didn’t have time to learn about the “new normal”. Now, it’s her children and grandchildren who will need to create that for themselves. And, my heart is most definitely with them. ?

\n

“Therefore we are always confident and know that as long as we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord. For we live by faith, not by sight. We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord.”\n‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭5:6-8‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n", "date_published": "2017-02-10T02:55:42-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/02/10/another-prayer-for-anna.html", "tags": ["Grief","Prayer","Strong Women"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/02/03/old-friends-and-friday-fitness.html", "title": "Old Friends and Friday Fitness", "content_html": "\"Artist\n

I remember Color Day like it was yesterday. Our senior class had a designated day a few weeks before graduation where we had activities, built floats for a parade, and got to skip school to celebrate. Gail was literally the cutest kid in our class. Tiny, little petite spitfire comes to mind when I think of her. We knew each other pretty well although we didn’t hang out at each other’s house. But, as is often the case, Facebook has allowed us to rewrite history and develop close friendships with classmates we hardly knew. At least, that’s the way it’s been for me.

\n

I saw Gail at the high school reunion in August and we all danced together. I knew she bought a place in Florida in the fall but didn’t realize she was this close to me until I saw a picture on her page of a place I was literally standing in. I texted her and we met for dinner last night. The Original Crabby Bill’s at 401 Gulf Avenue in Indian Rocks Beach was a happening place when we got there. It was packed and rightfully so. Yummy seafood, live music, and beach party atmosphere made for a loud but fun evening.

\n

Since today is Fitness Friday, I’m recommitting to going out to play more. It’s just so difficult to keep up a good exercise program in the winter. I’ve walked at least four miles a day since I got to Florida so I’m going to keep going. I have kept off the weight I lost last year, but my muscle tone is definitely not as good as it was going into hibernation. I remember going to WV for a visit back in the late ’70s to introduce the future Hubby #2 to the family. We went for a run and my Uncle Bob laughed out loud at us running on purpose. They were farmers. Work was how they got their exercise. I may have to be resourceful out on the farm, but there are ways to work out without driving into town to a gym. There’s a perfectly good road to walk and hills to climb and they’re free.

\n

As for nutrition, lots of fresh seafood, salads and fruit, combined with increased physical activity and this just might turn into a weight loss vacation instead of the customary five pounds of self-indulgence that normally comes after two weeks of eating in restaurants. Win-win!

\n

Important PSA…wear sunscreen!!! I had a melanoma in situ in 2005 so it’s important for me to protect my skin. You, too! ❤️

\n", "date_published": "2017-02-03T02:55:45-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/02/03/old-friends-and-friday-fitness.html", "tags": ["Travel","Strong Women","Positive Energy","The Grand Adventure","Fitness Friday"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/01/28/happily-ever-afterinterrupted.html", "title": "HAPPILY EVER AFTER...INTERRUPTED", "content_html": "\"Groom's\n

I used to think how horrific it was…how incredibly sad it was that Mr. Virgo died just three weeks shy of our 6th wedding anniversary. I mean…essentially, we were still newlyweds. We didn’t get to have those big anniversaries…10th, 20th. I was 53 when we married. Mr. Virgo Was 55 and smoked. The chances of us having a 30th wedding anniversary was slim to none. But I thought we’d have more time. We all think we’ll have more time.

\n

I heard something over the weekend what broke my heart. A high school friend up and moved away last fall after building her dream house. Nothing much was said, just that she wanted to live near her son. Then, quite suddenly, with no fanfare, we got to see a beautiful wedding picture of her and the man of her dreams…her long time best friend who had been there for her and her family through thick and thin. It was a holiday wedding and my friend was wearing a gorgeous long white wedding dress. She is a tiny wisp of a thing and she looked so darling holding a beautiful bouquet of flowers. Her new husband, in his black suit and his jaunty red bow tie looked like a man with a kind, sweet face…obviously smitten with his “girl”. I was thrilled for my friend. She’s been alone a long time so it was heart warming to see her so happy.

\n

Then, as I was scrolling through my Facebook feed the other day, I saw her post about the wedding and how they met and how long they’ve known each other. They started out as friends for a very long time before their love blossomed. And…she was so sad to report that they lost her handsome new husband the night before to cancer. I was shocked. I am so sad for her. Not only did she finally marry her very best friend, he up and died on her. It was three weeks. Three weeks. I am not privy to the details, but one would have to assume they knew he had cancer going in and wanted to be married. I can understand that. Another friend of mine had found the love of his life but he really didn’t want to get married again. Then she became terminally ill and he asked what he could do for her…name it, he’d do anything. She want to die with his name. So, he married her and she died a couple days later.

\n

That is love, right there. That is super-human love and strength to go into the wedding, into the marriage, unsure how long it would be…knowing what they were facing. I admire their courage and their devotion to each other. The depth of their love. Heck, I admire anyone who loves enough to share their lives with each other…no matter what their health is. Because this whole thing is a crap shoot. Either one of you could be gone tomorrow. When I contemplate having another relationship, I wonder if I am strong enough to do it again. To give everything and then lose it all. And, while I certainly wouldn’t want to go through this again, I would with the right person. With the right true love. Because, I am a people person. I am a team player. I do better in even numbers. And I’m a total gush-ball romantic. Maybe one of these days, I’ll find another Mr. Wonderful. As sad as I am for my friend, I am so happy she got to be Mrs…even if it was just for three very short weeks. Prayers to you, dear one…my heart is with you in your loss. ❤️

\n

“I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.”\n‭‭Philippians‬ ‭4:13‬ ‭KJV‬‬

\n", "date_published": "2017-01-28T02:55:59-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/01/28/happily-ever-afterinterrupted.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/01/23/monday-morning-motivation.html", "title": "MONDAY MORNING MOTIVATION", "content_html": "\"Sunrise\n

I’ve been reading posts lately about feeling stuck. I remember in my own grief journey, especially the first year or two, there were so many times I felt complete frozen. It was hard to get up and get out of bed, let alone do anything meaningful. There were long stretches where I wondered if I would actually make it. I was filled with despair. It’s always worse in winter. As I am sitting here, the rain is pounding on the tin roof of this farmhouse. At least it isn’t snow. Long dark nights and short grey days have a way of making even the sunniest disposition go sour.

\n

I got an Amazon Echo for Christmas. I love it because I can “talk” to Alexa and she “answers” me back. Yesterday, I asked her what the 7-day forecast was and she kept looking for adjectives. Finally she said Friday was going to be “dreary”. It’s pretty bad when your computerized companion describes the coming day as dreary. That does it! I’m heading for some sun, sand, and surf…soon. Like…really soon!

\n

How do you start moving when things get stagnant and you get stuck? It’s OK to mattress surf for a day. I always drew the line and refused to allow myself two days of that. I went through a severe clinical depression in the ’90s…I’m not going there again. But, what do you do? How do you get motivated to get up and move. I had one goal every day. I figured if I did just one positive thing every day it meant I was moving forward, no matter how tiny the baby steps were. My goal every day was to clean my kitchen sink. I know. Not much of a goal, is it? Here’s what happened, though. I scrubbed that kitchen sink till it shined. And once the sink was shiny, my heart lifted a little. Then, a cup of tea sounded nice. Then, there was a magazine on the table that had pretty pictures of spring decorating and flowers. I always kept sunny magazines laying around the house and in my car. Those magazines helped me tremendously as I could escape into their glossy pages for a little bit when things felt overwhelming. You don’t have to read a lot…just flip through and escape.

\n

Sometimes my days were spent getting through every hour…a minute at a time. But every hour put me another hour ahead, another hour forward. You don’t have to make BIG progress every day. Just make SOME progress every day. Little tiny baby steps are still steps. Some days will feel like you took two steps forward and three steps back. As a matter of fact…you’ll have a lot of those days. Just remember…you took those TWO STEPS. That’s something. That’s forward movement. Don’t discount that, dear ones. Stand up and move. Make the choice to live…REALLY live. You can do this. You’re still here. Let me repeat that. You…are…still…here! Good for you! ❤️

\n

“I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”\n‭‭Philippians‬ ‭3:14‬ ‭ESV‬‬

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2017-01-23T02:55:12-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/01/23/monday-morning-motivation.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/01/22/kimberly-paul-talks-about-the.html", "title": "KIMBERLY PAUL TALKS ABOUT THE ELEPHANT", "content_html": "\"Kimberly\n

I have way too much experience with ignoring the elephant in the room….specifically in my second marriage that went on for probably at least seven years longer than it should have. We ignored the elephant. We put a doily on it and called it a table. I dusted it occasionally, failing to see how it was truly crowding me out of the room. Ignoring the elephant doesn’t just occur during times of marital strife. It can happen when we are enabling a substance abuser. Or when we ignore cues from our bodies until it’s too late. But, probably one of the biggest, and most important elephants to talk about is death.

\n

We don’t like to talk about death. It makes us decidedly uncomfortable. It’s too close to home. It’s too real. It’s too sad. Kimberly Paul shows us how to start the conversation. She strips the doilies and the dust bunnies away from the great big elephant of death and shows us how to take some control in an otherwise bleak and uncertain time of our lives and the lives of those we love.

\n

Kimberly has a story. We all do. Hers has her sweet fiancé who discovered melanoma…too late. Hospice was a Godsend for them as they navigated a painful journey toward the end of her fiancé’s life. At some point in her grief process, she saw an ad in the paper for a Volunteer Coordinator for a local hospice. She thought she was going in to volunteer but quickly found they needed someone full time. Eventually, she was moved to marketing director for Lower Cape Fear Hospice. Her experience as a screenwriter for Saturday Night Live and Dawson’s Creek, among others, gave Kimberly skills in communication and helped her have difficult conversations with hundreds of Hospice patients. She gave a TED-X talk on the subject. And she felt a calling. She wanted to write a book. She wanted to start a conversation. She wanted more people to talk about the elephant and make dying the topic it deserves to be…an opportunity to live well in your last years. This isn’t necessarily Kavorkian. We design other parts of our lives…education, marriage, family, careers, retirement…why not death? The next logical step for this compassionate, forward-thinking woman was a podcast series and “Death by Design” was born.

\n

I received a private message from Kimberly in November asking if she could interview me for the Death by Design podcast. I was intrigued. I was thinking this could just be a long series of depressing narratives about a subject no one wants to talk about. Then I got on the phone with her and I got hooked into her frank, upbeat, intelligent approach to embracing our end. After all, it’s unavoidable…why not live our final years “by design”? My segment will be aired in early March. I’ll share a link when we get there. In the meantime, since we talk about death a lot here, I wanted to turn you on to Kimberly’s page at http://www.deathbydesign.com/so you can explore it on your own. Yesterday, there was some discussion here on The Ranch about someone’s husband that has cancer and he hasn’t made a will. I’m hoping listening to Kimberly will help them have the difficult conversation…even if it means you’re “bugging him”. ❤️

\n

“Steadfast love and faithfulness meet; righteousness and peace kiss each other.”\n‭‭Psalms‬ ‭85:10‬ ‭ESV‬‬

\n", "date_published": "2017-01-22T02:55:25-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/01/22/kimberly-paul-talks-about-the.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Writing"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/01/20/rise-up.html", "title": "RISE UP!", "content_html": "\"Meme.\n

I try not to touch the third rail. Politics is a touchy subject in polite society and can create a firestorm, as I’m sure you have all witnessed in your Facebook feed this last year. A simple statement, an expressed opinion…even an innocent “share” can bring on a backlash the likes of which you may never have witnessed before. Much of that is because it’s easier to hide behind a keyboard and say things that more than likely would never be said with direct eye contact.

\n

I’m not going to take sides. I’m not going to pass judgement. I’m not asking who you supported in the election nor am I going to share who I voted for. But I WILL share who I support and that’s us…We the People. No matter which side of the fence you are on…no matter your beliefs…no matter your color, identity, faith, ancestry….I’m pulling for you to live a safe, fulfilling, happy life. Whether you are happy or sad today, there is a changing of the guard and we have a civic duty to be watchful of our leaders and our representatives. We have to express our opinions. It is our right.

\n

I don’t know about you, but I was pretty self-involved the last four years. Mr. Virgo died less than two months after the last inauguration and I largely let others do my caring for me in that department. If I’m brutally honest, I have always shied away from politics because I’m not a fan of conflict. But…I’m awake now. I’m watching. It would be easier…much more comfortable…to stick my head in the sand. There are others who cannot speak for themselves. The Bible tells us to stand up for them.

\n

A young man was invited to speak at Ebenezer Church in Atlanta this week. At the tender age of 15, this young man spoke eloquently about protecting the least of us. Royce Mann recited his poem “Rise Up” and was met with resounding applause. We can’t afford to be complacent. We cannot stick our head in the sand and hope others will do the work for us. It’s time…it’s past time…to rise up and speak up. For yourselves. For those whose voices are not heard. For those who have no voice. ❤️

\n

youtu.be/jTNTWZLdy…

\n

“Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy.”\n‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭31:8-9‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n", "date_published": "2017-01-20T02:55:01-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/01/20/rise-up.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/01/19/no-worries.html", "title": "NO WORRIES", "content_html": "\"No\n

I used to worry about everything. I have a genetic proclivity for anxiety…a trait I have so generously shared with my children and at least one of my grandchildren. When I was in my twenties, a trip to the mountains would have me in a tizzy for days just thinking about going. At one point, I was nearly agoraphobic…there were only certain places I felt comfortable. I hated it. I hated that I couldn’t be in a play or give a speech because the idea of standing in front of people made me deathly sick. So, what changed?

\n

I still get butterflies on occasion. And, on rare occasions, I get anxiety attacks. But I’ve been largely better after two major events in my life. First, I nearly died of an overdose in 2000. I’ve talked about it a little here, but not much. It was a very dark time in my life, my marriage was dying, I was at the tail end of a 7 year struggle with clinical depression, and I took two full bottles of pills and could have easily died had I not been found in time. It wasn’t like I made a decision to end my life. I was just in so much pain, I wanted to go to sleep. When I came out of that, I was much stronger and nothing really scared me much after that. Then Mr. Virgo died. I suffered severe panic attacks for about a year. Finally, I was diagnosed with PTSD and had EMDR treatments so no I rarely get anxious about anything. And worry? Nah…worry doesn’t change anything. It just ruins “now”.

\n

I was interviewed on the radio yesterday. I had a half hour to tell my story and those of you who know me…I can just about tell you my name in that time. The show hosts said it was great. The gal who puts the show online said it was great. My friends have listened and said I did a good job. I listened to it and hear every pause, every “and…um”, every perceived flaw. So, I figured I just wouldn’t post it. Then I heard from a reader who heard it. And she said it was a wonderful interview. When I write, I re-read later and often think it isn’t good enough. But I have only erased and started over once in four years. Why? Because, I pray to God to bring me the words. These are the words I’m given. I don’t know who they’re for, or why I got this particular message. God just puts it on my heart and I do it. Same with any talks or interviews I give. It is what it is. Unless you are a speech coach, you aren’t going to really notice what I notice. And, if you ARE a speech coach…please contact me. I need your services!

\n

If you would like to listen to yesterday’s show on Highway to Health, you can do so here and I’m just not going to worry about it, OK?

\n

motherearthworks.com/index.php…

\n

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”\n‭‭Philippians‬ ‭4:6-7‬ ‭NIV‬‬\n(My go to verse about worry and anxiety!)

\n

#grief, #widow, #worry, #anxiety

\n", "date_published": "2017-01-19T02:55:12-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/01/19/no-worries.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Positive Energy","God"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/01/18/when-the-new-normalisnt.html", "title": "WHEN THE \"NEW NORMAL\"...ISN'T", "content_html": "\n

I don’t know about you, but the first time someone referred to me as a “widow”, it truly ticked me off. I was outraged to be referred to as anything but who I knew myself to be…or, who I thought myself to be. A wife. Now, here was someone pushing me into a demographic I had no desire to be counted in. I hated it. I resisted it. And…finally, eventually…I accepted it. But on MY terms…not theirs. The term ‘widow" conjured up images of “sad”, “old”, “crazy”. And, while I did identify with those feelings, they weren’t WHO I was…who I wanted to be. As I am wont to do, I wanted to push the agenda and “get back to normal” as soon as possible. Little did I know at the time, there is no such thing…not after the devastating loss of someone you love more than your breath. And there’s certainly no hurrying it along.

\n

I had to start embracing change, no matter how much I resisted. Everywhere I turned, change glared at me. There was no one on the other side of my bed. The other sink stayed clean. The toilet seat was always down. There were half the dishes, half the laundry, and way less than half the income. I had entered into the Twilight Zone of the “New Normal”…and I didn’t like it, not one little bit. I tried reading books about grief but I couldn’t relate to them…I couldn’t concentrate on them…I didn’t want to have anything to do with them because it meant I had to admit Mr. Virgo was gone and I wasn’t prepared to do that at the time.

\n

In the wee, dark hours of the fourth night without him…when I felt the most alone even though my daughter was in the bed beside me…it hit me. I was quite literally standing on the edge of a precipice. I did not want to breathe anymore. I did not want to feel anymore. And I certainly did not want to go to my husband’s funeral the next day. I cried out to God in my heart and begged Him to take me, too. “Please!” I begged. “Please bring me home so I can be with him!” God whispered into my heart. “No, my child…it is not your time.” I knew in that moment I was going to have to put something in front of me. Something to look forward to. Something that had the potential of bringing me joy. It was either that or I was done. And…I wasn’t done.

\n

For those of you who are relatively new here and may not know…a couple of weeks after the funeral, I bought a little camper and planned my escape. I needed space…to breathe, to cry, to scream, to mourn. As soon as the snow melted, I took off for a three month journey into the wilderness and backroads of Colorado…alone. It was there that I began to embrace the “New Normal”. “Normal” it is not. “Normal” is when things are the way they’ve always been. We want it all back. Just the other day, I was walking through a furniture store with a friend looking for…something. A comfortable chair, perhaps? A sofa for the farmhouse? I wasn’t sure what I was looking for. I rejected everything.

\n

My friend said, “Well, what IS it you want?” How could I describe it? I wanted all my old furniture back…the stuff I sold and gave away when I sold my house. For a moment, I wanted it all back more than I ever wanted anything in the world. I have made peace with the finality of death. I don’t wish Mr. Virgo back anymore because A) I would never want him to come back into this fallen world after experiencing the glory of heaven and B) it isn’t healthy for me to think that way. But the house, the furniture, the things I got rid of? The things we shared? The things that remind me of him? Yeah…sometimes, not often, but sometimes I wish them back. This new normal…isn’t.

\n

“I want my old furniture.”, I said.

\n

My friend said, “I can’t help you with that.”

\n

And that’s the truth. No one can help you with that. You either create a “New Normal” or you stay forever in what Christine Rasmussen refers to as “the waiting room”…the place you sit in till you decide to get up and make a life for yourself. There’s no timetable to go by…no expiration date on grief. This “New Normal” isn’t what we wanted, but it’s what we’ve got. I can either live it…or not. I can either create it…or not. I can be joyful in it…or not. I can embrace change…or not. My choice. ❤️

\n

“See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.”\n‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭43:19‬ ‭NIV

\n", "date_published": "2017-01-18T03:00:30-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/01/18/when-the-new-normalisnt.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/01/14/guilt.html", "title": "GUILT", "content_html": "\"Meme\n

As I was working on the website yesterday, I had to edit an old post in such a way that it appeared on my recent timeline. It was unintentional, but I don’t believe it was an accident as it stirred up some emotions for readers that had never seen it. It was the post where I really explained that my husband died. It was the first time I dove that deep in the pool of grief so it was pretty raw.

\n

A couple of people responded to my mention of feeling guilty and, since your responses to my posts are often where I find inspiration for the next day’s post, I think we’ll visit this difficult emotion a bit.

\n

A little back story…Mr. Virgo and I met with our new family physician in December of 2012. It was just a get acquainted visit really…short history, vitals, and medication review, so we went in together. When the doctor read Mr. Virgo’s family history of cardiac disease and cancers, she suggested a thorough work up, to which Mr. Virgo replied with a resounding “Nope. Next.” No cardiac work up, no cancer screening, no x-rays, no labs. He was “far too busy” with ski season ramping up and his crew was too young and inexperienced to leave a hotel like the Ritz Carlton in their inexperienced hands. The doctor was perplexed but gave him his prescriptions, I’m sure hoping she could reason with him better the next time. Or maybe, hoping I could knock some sense in him.

\n

Segue ahead four months and this wonderful man who brought such joy and light in my life died right in front of me of a heart attack suffered while we were picking out a travel trailer for retirement. He had been working really hard. He told me his job was “killing him”. He was stressed, working incredibly long hours, not eating right, and smoking like a chimney. He lost about thirty pounds in the four months leading up to his death, in part because he had major dental work and new dentures. I was legitimately concerned about him but any question or suggestion was met with a rather terse “Don’t doctor me.” So, I let it slide. Then he was gone.

\n

The guilt I felt was overwhelming. All the “what ifs” and “if onlys” haunted me every night. I forgot to tell the ER doctor he had taken Cialis that morning…something very important for an ER doctor to know in such circumstances due to possibly fatal drug interactions. What if that was it? Why didn’t I listen to him when he told me his job “was killing him”? Why didn’t I just agree and say it was ok to look for something closer to home? Well, for one reason…I knew there was nothing out there AND I knew we were both at an age when we couldn’t afford to go without health insurance for three months while we waited for benefits to kick in at a new job. Oh, I went round and round and round with this for months spending many sleepless nights working it like the worry beads of an old woman.

\n

Guilt is a self-imposed emotion sometimes. I don’t mean that flippantly. I remember finally feeling some ease from the guilt when I kept mulling over what Hubby #2 (the doctor) said to me when I cried that I had killed my husband by not listening to him. He was kind enough to tell me, it wasn’t Mr. Virgo’s job or his hour plus drive to and from work every day that killed him. It was fifty years of hard core smoking, gallons of coffee, a meat-and-potatoes diet, and little to no aerobic exercise other than being on his feet 12-16 hours a day for forty years that killed him. Nothing more, nothing less. And I had absolutely no control over his genetics so feeling guilty was a waste of my most precious resource at the time…what little threads of my sanity I could manage to hang onto.

\n

I am sure there are cases out there where something one did was a direct cause of their loved one’s death. Running a red light, perhaps. That is a possibility. But self-flagellation will not bring them back. And you need every bit of energy and strength you have to focus on getting you through your grief journey…especially during the critical first year or so. Be gentle with your sweet selves. Look at all the loving ways you supported your loved one while they were with you. Just remember the old adage about leading a horse to water. You cannot make them drink. And you cannot force another person to have medical tests done if they choose not to do them. Period. Think of that when you start rattling door knobs in the corridors of your 2:00 mind. ❤️

\n

“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”\n‭‭1 Peter‬ ‭5:7‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n", "date_published": "2017-01-14T03:00:18-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/01/14/guilt.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/01/12/upcoming-appearance.html", "title": "UPCOMING APPEARANCE", "content_html": "

Tune in Wednesday as I am a guest on Dave Hawkins radio show! Looking forward to an interesting conversation about the physical ramifications of grief.

\n

motherearthworks.com/index.php…

\n", "date_published": "2017-01-12T11:00:27-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/01/12/upcoming-appearance.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Press"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/01/08/in-the-company-of-women.html", "title": "IN THE COMPANY OF WOMEN", "content_html": "\"Meme\n

In the Company of Women

\n

Yesterday was my “girls day”. I met eleven other women from my high school class at 10:00 for our monthly therapy session…err, I mean, coffee klatche. One of the first things I did when I moved back to West Virginia two years ago was to organize these monthly gatherings of my classmates so we have connections as we head into the golden years of retirement. I have been blessed with this kind of supportive tribe of strong women all my adult life. Women in West Virginia don’t “gather” quite the same as they do in Colorado. I’m not sure why…culture, economics, traditional marital roles? Whatever…getting these wonderful women together has been a highlight every month for the last two years and I love every one of them!

\n

After coffee, I joined a widowed friend who brought along one of her classmates who is also a widow (who happens to be a “Rancher” of three years! That always humbles me.) We visited for four hours and talked about a project we’re thinking of doing together. More on that when things get firmed up.

\n

I have grown to appreciate women so much more since losing Mr. Virgo. I was one of those tomboys who always seemed to enjoy male conversation and energy more than women in my earlier years. I was a builder and a maker…a little coarse around the edges. But women of a certain age grow into their strength and wisdom and I find myself gravitating toward them. I admire them. I emulate them. I celebrate them. I’m proud to be one of them. And I seek out their company whenever possible. I tell my daughters not to lose touch with their women friends because they’re going to need them someday. I don’t think they get it…yet. But, they will.

\n

I ended the day by taking myself out on a dinner date to the very first sit-down restaurant I ever went to…Jimmy Columbo’s. Jimmy’s opened the year after I was born so it’s an institution in my hometown. It’s still family owned and operated with photos of locals, family, and celebrities lining the walls. The first time I went there, I was on a date with the young man who would become my first husband. I had no idea how to order from a menu. I had never eaten a tossed salad before. When the waitress brought me my salad last night, I took the first bite and closed my eyes. I was suddenly seventeen again, heart fluttering, my shirtwaist dress freshly pressed, a white cardigan around my shoulders. I smiled and thought about how far I’ve come since I was that young, star-crossed girl. How much I have experienced and learned. How much I have grown. I thanked God for the wonderful, strong women in my life. I thanked Him for restaurants that still make a really great homemade Italian dressing. And pasta. I always thank God for pasta. ❤️

\n

“She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.”\n‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭31:25-26‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n", "date_published": "2017-01-08T03:00:35-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/01/08/in-the-company-of-women.html", "tags": ["Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/12/12/synchronicity.html", "title": "SYNCHRONICITY", "content_html": "\"Two\n

Yesterday was one of those days when things happened that were beyond mere coincidence. There were God moments going on that just couldn’t be denied. First, one of our fellow Ranchers contacted me when she heard I was driving through her town in the mountains. Lin and I have a connection that goes back a lot further than the three years she’s been reading my blog. I knew she was from my home town, but I didn’t know she graduated from my high school the year before me! It was “old home week” as we visited for three hours in the local Starbucks. What a treat that was…thank you Lin for an afternoon of conversation!

\n

I was coming through Glenwood Springs a couple hours later when I felt compelled to stop at the Iron Mountain Hot Springs. I ran into a former co-worker as I entered the lobby. Small town…small world. After changing, I made a mad dash through the cold night air and hopped in the first pool I came to. A young couple was sitting there. We struck up a fascinating conversation and found so many commonalities it was downright eerie. We exchanged info afterwards. When you meet someone that clicks deep, you stay to see how it plays out. Thank you Hailey and Joe for hanging out with me and sharing a couple of hours under the stars.

\n

My conversations today reminded me why it’s important to listen when the Holy Spirit talks to you. It was a gentle whisper today but the impact was unmistakably His. And I feel I gained three new friends in the process. I don’t believe anything is random. Things don’t happen by chance for me. People meet for the specific purpose of exchanging information. Connections are much deeper when you listen with your heart. ❤️

\n

“In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will,”\n‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭1:11‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n", "date_published": "2016-12-12T03:00:28-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/12/12/synchronicity.html", "tags": ["Travel","Uplifting Stories","Strong Women"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/12/08/bffs.html", "title": "BFF's", "content_html": "\"Two\n

We weren’t much more than children when we met. Both new brides of young airmen stationed overseas, we were thrilled to find our hometowns were in adjacent states. We became fast friends. You do that when you’re a military wife. Your friends become family. Cindy looked extremely young for her age. Seriously, she looked twelve when she and her new husband moved into the flat below ours. She was eighteen. I was all of twenty. We hung out together while our husbands worked. We did crafts. We shopped. I think we tried our hand at knitting. We shared our families when they came to visit. Her “Nana” became my “Nana”…my mom, her mom. We shopped a lot. We didn’t buy much, but we shopped. It wasn’t long after Cindy arrived that I became pregnant with my first child. One afternoon, Cindy and I were at the hardware store buying batteries for a flashlight when the jolly clerk asked her, “Are you having fun shopping with your mummy?” I whipped around and asked, “Excuse me…what did you say?” He repeated that he was asking “my daughter” if she was having fun shopping with her mum. I nearly died! I mean, really…you feel so awful about yourself when you’re big and fat and hot and sweaty…then someone mistakes your best friend as your daughter. And you aren’t two years apart! It was a turning point in my life. My youthful innocence was left on that hardware store floor.

\n

Cindy and I have gone great lengths of time without seeing each other. Yet, each visit picks up where we left off in the conversation as if one had just left the room for a moment. We have a shared experience that bonded us forever. We were so far from home, we needed each other. She threw a surprise baby shower for me. There were a few people but far more gifts than attendees. She proudly handed me the first gift and asked me to read the tag. It was from my mom who was stateside. I burst into tears. Not that I just missed my mom or was just hormonal. No…this friend had gotten my mom’s address from my husband, wrote and introduced herself, then told my mom about the shower and could she let all my friends and family know. When the boxes arrived, she carefully hid the gifts which was no small feat in our tiny British flats. She kept the secret knowing how much it would mean to me to have gifts from the family I was missing terribly. I look back now and realize my mom never got to see me pregnant with either of my babies. I wish she could have.

\n

Cindy has always been there for me…not always in person, but she’s always been a phone call away. She cried with me when I shared the news of Mr. Virgo’s death. I fly in and out of Dayton so that I can get the chance to visit with her the night before I travel. It always makes a joyful experience even more wonderful. Thank you for always being there, my friend. You are one of life’s true gems! ❤️

\n

“Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.”\n‭‭Romans‬ ‭12:10‬ ‭NIV‬‬

\n", "date_published": "2016-12-08T03:00:21-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/12/08/bffs.html", "tags": ["Travel","Uplifting Stories","Strong Women"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/11/17/on-being-passionate.html", "title": "On Being Passionate", "content_html": "

\"Albert “A word from the wise.”

\n

It’s been a little over a week since the election. I don’t know about you…but I felt emotionally and physically exhausted after being subjected to such derision and anger on a daily basis. I, quite literally, was numb from the whole process and escaped through a cleaning frenzy the likes of which this house has not seen in years. And that’s from a woman who never watched TV throughout the entire campaign. I jumped on the Peace Train. I prayed and wrote and meditated and tried to wrap my head around the whole thing. Who I voted for doesn’t matter as much as the fact that I voted…there’s problems from both sides. I ride in the neutral zone here on The Ranch because politics raises passions and I respect you all…regardless of politics.

\n

One SHOULD be passionate about one’s beliefs. This election highlighted how divided we are as a nation. While I preach a message of peace, that doesn’t mean I should shirk my duties as a concerned, active citizen. I should learn everything there is to know about the issues that effect the world today. And…I can do that without hurting anyone. It is my responsibility to be a contributing member of society and research legislation so I can make informed choices in the polling booth.

\n

This isn’t easy for me. Conflict makes me extremely uncomfortable…being the child of an alcoholic can make it very difficult to be around verbal disagreements. However, I can still suit up and show up without entering into the fray. I can be passionate about being the change I want to see in the world. I don’t have to advertise my position in order to affect change. I can help…and I can do it from a place of love. ❤️

\n
“Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.”    Proverbs‬ ‭19:21‬ ‭NIV‬‬
\n", "date_published": "2016-11-17T02:30:33-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/11/17/on-being-passionate.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Comfort","Peace","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Presence","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/09/11/a-new-perspective.html", "title": "A New Perspective", "content_html": "\n
\"\"
\n\n\n

I have been preaching at you all for the last nearly four years to \"go with the flow\". Stop standing in the middle of the stream trying to hold the waters back. Just turn around and go where God leads you.

\n\n\n

Most of the time, this is excellent advice. But sometimes...sometimes you have to be a salmon. You have to jump the rapids to come out on top. You have to fight and scramble your way upstream to get the goods. That's happening a lot in my life right now. My aunt wants to come home to the farm to live. She thinks I'm going to live there and take care of her. I don't know where she got that, but I just can't. We tried that and it did not work for either of us. And, she cannot live there alone. The place is falling apart around her and she can't take care of herself, let alone a big farm house. And...there's the matter of these tenacious fleas. We need to discuss alternatives. It isn't going to be easy, but I have to travel to see her today and have \"the talk\".

\n\n\n

How hard it must be to lose your independence, piece by bloody piece. Our independence is the last bastion of self. When they take that away, who are we? I want to present her with appealing options. I want to show her there are ways to live independently yet still have assistance when you need it. Help with meals and cleaning. Perhaps public transportation, socialization, field trips. I want her to see the love that I have for her. I don't want her to feel trapped or that I'm trying to take something away from her. I want the \"pros\" column to be MUCH longer than the \"cons\".

\n\n\n

I want her to be happy. She has done a lot for this family in her life. She helped my mom financially. She lived with my grandma and my uncle till they died, taking such good care of them. She deserves a life better than sitting alone on the farm, wasting away to nothing, unable to drive or shop or cook or clean or do any of the maintenance things that need doing. I pray I can be convincing and keep her dignity intact. I pray God will bring me the right words to say to her. I pray he will bring me \"salmon angels\" to lead me up the ladders so I can help her have the best life possible.

\n\n\n

❤️

\n\n\n
\n

“For I will give you words and wisdom that none of your adversaries will be able to resist or contradict.”

\n‭‭Luke‬ ‭21:15‬ ‭NIV‬‬\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2016-09-11T01:30:06-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/09/11/a-new-perspective.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/05/27/summer-love.html", "title": "Summer Love", "content_html": "\n
\"\"
\n\n\n

It's the Memorial Day Weekend...traditionally the start of the summer season. Along with that comes social events and picnics in the park and outings of this sort or that. A blossoming romance is not entirely out of the question, even at our delightful age, so I am re-running a post I did a while back that is relevant. I hope you enjoy it and please, feel free to forward it...especially to our young lady graduates who will be heading out into the world soon.

\n\n\n

❤️

\n\n\n


Never Settle

\n\n\n

I am so happy my second daughter was still living at home when Mr. Virgo and I got married. She got to witness firsthand the way a woman should be treated in a relationship. I remember one morning, she came in to wake me up and crawled in bed beside me. Mr. Virgo came in right behind her with a cup of coffee for me and a kiss good morning. I thanked him and turned to my daughter and said \"Don't ever settle for less than this kind of treatment, baby girl.\"

\n\n\n

I wish all women had that kind of role model. There's so much I wish I had been told back when I was just starting out. I had dinner last night with my high school slumber party girlfriends. It made me sit back and think about what might have been different for us if someone would have taught us more. So, in addition to the message in today's meme, I'll list a few snippets of wisdom.

\n\n\n\n\n\n


Now, all of this being said, I want to tell my male readers...I'm not male bashing here. These tips can just as easily be reworded and given to men. I'm addressing women mainly as that is my reader base. Just know I'm sensitive to your issues as well.

\n\n\n

❤

\n\n\n
\n

\"Strength and dignity are her clothing, And she smiles at the future. She opens her mouth in wisdom, And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.\"

\nProverbs 31:25-26\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2016-05-27T01:30:56-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/05/27/summer-love.html", "tags": ["Strong Women","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/05/21/women.html", "title": "Women", "content_html": "\n
\"\"
\n\n\n

My church is young. It's energetic and enthusiastic and encouraging. I've never been to a church where people countdown the last 10 seconds before the door opens because they're so excited to go in. It's astonishing. The church I go to in the Denver area is similar, but I like this one even better.

\n\n\n

Last night was the kickoff event for the new Women's Ministry that's starting. It was a wonderful evening and very empowering. A woman narrated a piece comparing women to redwood trees. Redwoods are some of the largest trees there are, but they don't have a very deep root system. On their own, they could never withstand strong winds. But together, their roots weave around and intertwine creating a complex support system. It's the same way with women. If we isolate, we are much more vulnerable. In nature, the predator attacks the weakest member of the herd by separating it and attacking. In many ways, we are stronger and safer when we are supported by other women.

\n\n\n

My talk on Thursday night was well attended. There was great feedback and I had my friend videotape it. I'll try to figure out how to crop a small segment and post it. Looking back over the recording is always difficult because I pick out the annoying little habits I have that no one else would even notice. It keeps me humble and always seeking to improve.

\n\n\n

❤️

\n\n\n
\n

“The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.””

\nGenesis 2:18 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2016-05-21T01:30:47-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/05/21/women.html", "tags": ["Strong Women","God","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/05/15/a-womans-dance.html", "title": "A Woman's Dance", "content_html": "\n
\"\"
\n\n\n

Our gathering of wild and wonderful women has drawn to a close and we will be traveling our separate ways today. I am always a little sad when these events end. There is something so special about bonding with women over food and drink, laughter and tears, singing and dancing, and the sharing of stories. We cross any barriers, real or perceived, as we reach out to each other and celebrate our differences and embrace our similarities. And when we leave the fire, we take with us a piece of each other's hearts and are all the richer for the experience. We are better for having met.

\n\n\n

As the evening drew to a close, the drizzle turned first to sleet then to snow. I believe the weather has been warm enough to limit any real accumulation on the roadways, but there are three fairly high mountains I need to cross to get home today. Please keep us all in your prayers for travel mercies.

\n\n\n

❤️

\n\n\n
\n

“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”

\nHebrews 10:24-25 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2016-05-15T01:30:10-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/05/15/a-womans-dance.html", "tags": ["Strong Women","Fun","Be Joyful!","Friends"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/05/12/st-annual-maizie-day.html", "title": "1st Annual Maizie Day!", "content_html": "\n

Today would have been Maizie Morrison's birthday. Maizie was the mother of the originators of Sisters on the Fly. Maizie was given the honorary Sister #0. I was fortunate to get to meet her the January before she passes away. In honor of our collective \"Mom\", we are to go outside and do something fun. Here's TOW-Wanda all set up to camp for the weekend in the beautiful hills of WV. Cheers, Miss Maizie!

\n\n", "date_published": "2016-05-12T01:30:45-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/05/12/st-annual-maizie-day.html", "tags": ["Strong Women","Sisters on the Fly","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/04/28/crone.html", "title": "Crone", "content_html": "\n
\"\"
\n\n\n

The word sounds bad. But it's meaning implies a wise woman. I've become a crone...a title I wear with as much dignity and grace as I can muster. We don't get to this age without a few battle scars. And the things we've gone through are the very things we use when we reach down to help the next person up.

\n\n\n

There was a time when my insecurities drove people away from me, which further fueled the insecurities. It wasn't until I pledged a moratorium on new relationships that I got a handle on it. I needed to learn that it is most often counter productive to \"chase\" people down in an attempt to spend time with them. I've learned to be the flower. All you have to do is blossom. The bees will come to you. Pretty simple, really.

\n\n\n

❤️

\n\n\n
\n

“So we say with confidence, “The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?””

\nHebrews 13:6 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2016-04-28T01:30:46-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/04/28/crone.html", "tags": ["Strong Women","Growth","Wisdom","Courage","Aging"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/04/21/gone-too-soon.html", "title": "Gone Too Soon", "content_html": "\n
\"\"
\n\n\n

They're all gone to soon, aren't they? There are women here whose dear husband died of cancer or an accident. Or on the floor of a travel trailer while choosing one for retirement. But, I often hear from readers whose loss was not a parent or a sibling. Or a spouse. It was a child. Some, multiple children. There are mothers here whose child was an adult and killed in the line of duty or in a car accident. There are mothers here whose child died by their own hand...by choice. There are mothers of drug overdose victims. Any manner of reasons.

\n\n\n

Then there are the mamas who lose their babies. That is unthinkable. Something that was supposed to be uneventful...easy peasy. Just grow a baby, deliver it, and you're done. Sometimes it doesn't workout that way. Sometimes God takes that baby back home. A sort of \"Borrowed Angel\" as Kristen Chenowith sings about. What do you say to that mama and daddy? To the Nana and Papa? The Gram and Gramps? The aunts and uncles and cousins. The devastation must be unimaginable.

\n\n\n

I don't know what to say. I can tell them I love them. That my heart is broken alongside theirs. I can offer a hug, or a cup of tea. I can pray...a lot. In researching this, I discovered something I didn't know. When a woman is pregnant, there are a few of the baby's cells which cross the placenta. They enter the blood stream and they make their way to their mama's brains. And there, they lodge themselves and actually become part of the mama's brain. It's called \"microchimerism\". The mama will carry her baby in her brain cells the rest of her life. That is a comforting thought to me for some reason.

\n\n\n

The other thing I found while researching this, was this beautiful song by Daughtry. If you are hurting, I hope this brings you peace.

\n\n\n

❤️

\n\n\n
\n

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

\nPsalm 34:18 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2016-04-21T01:30:01-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/04/21/gone-too-soon.html", "tags": ["Grief","Strong Women","Comfort"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/02/28/our-rights.html", "title": "Our Rights", "content_html": "\n
\"\"
\n\n\n

The late author, David Foster Wallace, said \"In reality, there is no such thing as not voting: You either vote by voting, or you vote by staying home and tacitly doubling the value of some diehard's vote.\" Each passing generation gets further and further away from the days of the suffragette. They struggled for the right to vote, often being beaten and thrown in jail.
This election is critically important. Whatever you do, get out and vote!

\n\n\n

❤️

\n\n\n
\n

“Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God.”

\nRomans 13:1 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2016-02-28T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/02/28/our-rights.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","West Virginia","Wisdom","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/02/13/group-therapy.html", "title": "Group Therapy", "content_html": "\n
\"\"
\n\n\n

There is comfort in a group who have suffered similar fates. They may not have suffered the same loss, but we all have experience SOME sort of loss in our lives and that give us a certain kinship. We are sisters of different mothers. We have a level of understanding merely by the fact we have no Y chromosome. (I know there are some guys who read me here, but the vast majority are gals so I'll address them specifically. I'll get to you guys soon, k?) We share similar experiences and circumstances simply because we are women.

\n\n\n

Experiencing extreme grief is probably as close to certifiably crazy as most of us will get. When we isolate ourselves in the process, we can begin to feel we are the only ones who feel this way. We feel crazy. But, we're not crazy. We're grieving. That's why I joined Sisters on the Fly. Having experienced a major depression in my life, I knew the potential was there to slip into those dark spaces in my mind and I didn't want to go there. Being with the Sisters was not only a safe place, it was also the first place where I didn't feel like such a victim. When I shared my loss, I was not met with hand-holding and \"There, there...poor dear.\" No...I was met with, \"Damn...you lost your husband? I did, too. It really sucks, doesn't it? (hug) C'mon...a bunch of us are going fly fishing. Wanna learn?\" I had found my people. The Sisters empowered me to step into and embrace my new position in life.

\n\n\n

Camping season is coming. I know, I know...it's 10° out and snowing right now. But, spring is coming, and we can get outside and play and blow off some stink. We can have fun and do stuff. We can be brave anywhere. But if we're going to be brave, we might as well be doing it outside with a bunch of wonderfully talented women with huge hearts and a cowboy hat! Look them up here on FB at Sisters on the Fly or on the web HERE.

\n\n\n

❤

\n\n\n
\n

“She is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her.”

\nProverbs 3:15 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2016-02-13T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/02/13/group-therapy.html", "tags": ["Strong Women","Sisters on the Fly","Camping","Fun","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/01/10/fly-fishing.html", "title": "Fly Fishing", "content_html": "\n
\"\"
\n\n\n

My father was an avid fisherman. He mostly fished with lures and bait in the local rivers and lakes. But once a year we would go to the mountains and stay with my cousins and he would fly fish. We had very little money so we usually stayed with family but I remember one summer we stayed in a cabin. It was the coolest vacation ever!

\n\n\n

My dad tied his own flies. He showed me how and I was fascinated. I would sit along the shallows and watch him cast over and over, occasionally landing a small brown or brookie....maybe a rainbow. I was never allowed to fly fish. The equipment came at a dear price and I couldn't swim. It wasn't even a consideration.

\n\n\n

When I joined the Sisters on the Fly, I bought fly fishing equipment. I went to a large Sisters gathering and signed up with a guide for a group lesson. I don't know if it was the guide, or the number in the group, or the equipment, but...I hated it. Hated it!!! I was SO disappointed. I almost got rid of my gear when I downsized, but I decided to hang onto it and try again.
I met a really neat lady yesterday at the Fly Fishing Show. Paula Fothergill was married to the late Chuck Fothergill, the fly fishing guru from Aspen. She now works for Casting for Recovery, an organization that teaches women with breast cancer and breast cancer survivors how to fly fish. It is the main charity Sisters on the Fly members contribute to. In talking with Paula, we discovered we lived in the same small town in Colorado. She asked if I fly fish and I related my experience. She said, \"Come with me!\" and she took me to meet the general manager of Telluride Outside...John Duncan. I quickly discovered how well respected Chuck Fothergill was, as Paula handed me over to John's capable tutelage. He selected an 8.5' 5 pound Scott rod, a medium weight that is well balanced and excellent for the novice fly fisher.

\n\n\n

There is a pond set up inside at the show to practice casting. We took our turn and in 5 minutes, I was hooked, so to speak. I was so excited! All it took was a knowledgeable, patient instructor and good gear to make all the difference in the world. Now I can't wait to get out on the river and catch my first trout on a fly!

\n\n\n

❤️

\n\n\n

Photo Credit: Sisters on the Fly

\n\n\n
\n

“Swarms of living creatures will live wherever the river flows. There will be large numbers of fish, because this water flows there and makes the salt water fresh; so where the river flows everything will live. Fishermen will stand along the shore; from En Gedi to En Eglaim there will be places for spreading nets. The fish will be of many kinds—like the fish of the Mediterranean Sea.”

\nEzekiel 47:9-10 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2016-01-10T02:30:52-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/01/10/fly-fishing.html", "tags": ["Strong Women","Sisters on the Fly","Positive Energy","Peaceful Moments","Memories"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/12/26/on-my-way.html", "title": "On My Way", "content_html": "\n
\"\"
\n\n\n

There have been many times in my life when I felt lost. I spoke the words into the universe and it became so. I believed it. And...there have been times when I was truly lost. I had no sense of direction. I was depressed, hurt, angry, grief stricken. Like the first year after losing Mr. Virgo. \"Lost\" doesn't begin to describe what I was going through. I was the walking dead. The second year was worse but only because I was awake and aware I was walking through fire. The third year has brought many awakenings and amazing discoveries.

\n\n\n

I've made a new best friend. She's kind and caring. She's smart and capable. She's funny and tender. She's a little crazy, but in a really good way. She's brave. She's so very brave. She's assertive but not aggressive. She's flighty but still dependable if you don't mind her flexible schedule and her personal interpretation of time. She's fiercely loyal yet when she's done, she's done. She's really creative and wants to learn new things. She's not very patient. And she's kinda stubborn. I met her on the top of a mountain in Colorado. She was sitting there, really quiet, like she had been waiting on me forever. She was SO excited when I saw her and introduced myself. I swear, she hasn't stopped talking since. She has so much to tell me about herself that some days all I can do is listen. Her words tumble out in an animated cacophony of thoughts. I have to laugh at her some times because she interrupts me and forces me to pay attention, like my baby did when she was two. She pisses me off sometimes because she calls in the middle of the night and wakes me up with new ideas or maybe a worry or two. But, I love her. I love her more than I thought I ever could. I see her every day. Our shadows are identical. She's that amazing woman I see in the mirror. She's who I am becoming. I am not lost. I am on my way.

\n\n\n

❤️

\n\n\n
\n

“For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”

\n1 Corinthians 13:12-13 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2015-12-26T02:30:58-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/12/26/on-my-way.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Growth","Wisdom","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/09/23/friendship.html", "title": "Friendship", "content_html": "\n
\"\"
\n\n\n

I have a muse in the form of a middle aged woman going through her own existential crisis. She found herself downsized out of a job that she had a terrific love/hate relationship with. It was the typical case of not knowing how bad you feel till you start feeling better. I love her tremendously. She is one of my dearest friends and I have never met her in person and have only spoken to her on the phone once in the two years I've known her. We have this little mystical friendship that might change if we make it more traditional. But, maybe not. Why push it? Anyway, she and I have deep philosophical discussions. She asks the hard questions. She makes me look. She makes me think. The other day we were discussing friendship and what it means to us.

\n\n\n

It is interesting how my friends, and my relationships with them, have evolved over the years. I had a very small core of friends growing up. There weren't kids in my neighborhood my age so I played with younger kids. Even through high school, I could count my friends easily on two hands. My X-ray class was small. Then I married and moved to England. I had exactly four friends there, one of whom is my very dear friend to this day. But as life progressed, I moved, changed jobs, had babies, changed husbands, and my social circle waxed and waned. Some friendships were extremely important at the time but friends have a tendency to drift in and out of your life with the season you are in. When we are in those busy, productive, hard working, child rearing years, we have blinders on and we often find ourselves quite alone when we come out the other side.

\n\n\n

There are things that have changed as I've gotten older, as well. I've found my friends have become extremely important. My family has become even more important to me. I have many friends...much more than the four alluded to in this meme. And every single one of them touches my heart. That being said, there are things I have little tolerance for these days. I don't like drama. I don't like malicious gossip. I don't like male bashing. I am selective as to who I let in my tribe. And I am content and secure in our love for each other. It's a beautiful time to be alive.

\n\n\n

❤️

\n\n\n
\n

\"Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”

\nJohn 15:13\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2015-09-23T01:30:22-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/09/23/friendship.html", "tags": ["Strong Women","Courage","Choices","Friends"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/09/22/hindsight.html", "title": "Hindsight", "content_html": "\n

You know the saying...\"Hindsight is 20/20\"? I had an interaction with a husband at the Country Living Fair that initially set my teeth on edge but now that I've had time to think about it, I wish I would have handled it differently. So, here's an open letter to that husband. (I know not all husbands are like this, but there are many who are. If you aren't, good on you. If you are, listen up!)

\n\n\n

Dear Husband,

\n\n\n

The other day when you were looking at our trailers at Country Living Fair, you overheard us talking about Sisters on the Fly. You were puzzled when we said we go without men.

\n\n\n

\"But, you NEED a man to pull something that big!\"

\n\n\n

\"It's only 19 feet.\" I replied. \"I pull a 30 footer all by myself.\"

\n\n\n

\"Well, MY wife couldn't do that. She needs me to do those things for her!\"

\n\n\n

Sigh.

\n\n\n

My initial response was incredulity (carefully hidden, of course) that you didn't think your wife could do anything. Then I looked over at her peeking in the trailer with a serene smile on her face. How could she stand to be treated this way? That's when it hit me. She knows you better than I do. You didn't seem an aggressive, bullying sort. Your reaction seemed more chivalrous than controlling. I realize now that she understands your love language. Your way of expressing your love for her is to do \"manly\" things for her so you feel useful. Her love language for you is to let you feel like the knight in shining armor. But, there's an inherent danger in this that neither of you may realize.

\n\n\n

What happens when the knight in shining armor falls off his horse or dies? Who's going to take care of the little woman after you're gone? Believe me, I have talked with hundreds of women whose grief is compounded by their fear because they don't know how to do anything \"manly\". Yes, in 2015! With that in mind, let me offer you some friendly advise.

\n\n\n

1) If you truly love your wife, wouldn't you want her to feel strong and capable to do anything in case something happens to you and you can't do it or if you die and leave her alone? Make sure she knows how to operate the tools and machinery necessary to care for her home and vehicle should she need to.

\n\n\n

2) If you have a travel trailer or motorhome, make sure she knows how to hookup and unhook, back up, operate everything, and drive or tow. You might throw your back out flipping burgers or you might drop dead of a heart attack. She needs to know how to get out of a mess. She also might want to continue the RV lifestyle after you are gone and it will be so much easier for her to make that decision if she is armed with knowledge.

\n\n\n

3) Please don't be threatened if she wants to go off with the girls pulling her little trailer behind her. She needs her sisters...her tribe. Because there may come a time when you aren't there for her and she is going to need all the support, love, strength, courage, and encouragement she can get. Sisters on the Fly is just one of the options she has to get that support from other women. She NEEDS this...don't deprive her by your own insecurity. Trust me, we don't sit around the campfire and talk bad about you. We sit around the campfire and talk about the best kind of chainsaw to get or which truck has the best rear axle ratio for towing or how to make the best martini or any number of subjects. Or we just laugh ourselves silly over anything that strikes our funny bone. The last thing we want to do on our down time is to bash you. Ain't nobody got time for that!

\n\n\n

4) We've got badges to earn. We want to learn how to cook in a Dutch oven or ride a horse or fly fish. We have stuff to do. Girl stuff. Stuff you don't understand. We need to decorate our trailers. You have a man cave? We have \"She Sheds\". Don't have a nutty if we want to paint the wood interior pastel colors and hang a chandelier and lace curtains. Or decorate it like a 50's diner or a cowgirl's bunkhouse. To you, it's just camping. To us, it's the playhouse of our dreams. Our sanctuary. Our safe place. Our path to girlhood. And trust me on this as well...we are infinitely more willing to participate in life with you when we've had a little girl time. If you are a smart man, and I know you are, you will understand this and not make your wife feel bad for leaving you and the kids and the dog behind for a few days. It won't kill you to warm up mac and cheese or a frozen pizza. And remember, \"Happy wife, happy life.\"

\n\n\n

Life is short, guys. Statistics show you die before us gals. Please understand, we are capable creatures. We know how to do stuff. We may make you think we don't or can't, but most of us do and can. All we need is the skill set needed and we can do anything we want. Really.

\n\n\n

Sincerely,

\n\n\n

The Widow Who Knows

\n\n\n

❤️

\n\n\n
\n

\"So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.\"

\nMatthew 7:12\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2015-09-22T01:30:56-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/09/22/hindsight.html", "tags": ["Family","Strong Women","Camping","Courage","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/08/11/adversity.html", "title": "Adversity", "content_html": "\n
\"\"
\n\n\n

The little in pink is my youngest when she was about 5 or 6. The little on the left is her best friend, Kiersten. She moved away at the end of the 3rd grade and we didn't find each other again till last year on FB. We reconnected when I received the news that Kiersten had been in a terrible car accident up in the mountains. She broke her neck and was paralyzed from the neck down. Her mom, Patty, came from Maine to be with her.

\n\n\n

After a week in the hospital, Kiersten was moved to Craig Rehabilitation Hospital in Denver and the grueling work began. She had 7 or 8 different types of therapy daily. Her injury turned out to be Brown-Sequard Syndrome where the spinal cord was stretched, bruised, and damaged...but not severed. Her paralysis slowly improved and she worked hard to get better. The weight training area was in the cafeteria. While others were sitting around talking after dinner, Kiersten would be over there lifting weights and working out. She was determined she would get better. And she did. She walks. She still writes with her right hand but has learned to do everything else with her left hand. Her right side gets tired more easily. But she is a walking miracle. We all learn from adversity that we are much stronger than we ever thought we were.

\n\n\n

I remember this beautiful young woman when she was just a little girl having sleepovers at our house. I read to her and told her grand bedtime stories that I made up. And last night I got to have dinner with her and her mom. On my way home, Patty texted me to say Kiersten told her after I left how much she loved me when she was little. And how she remembered those stories. Strong women from loved little girls grow. Invest in our future. Treat every child as you would treat your own. I was so touched that she remembered.

\n\n\n

❤️

\n\n\n
\n

\"I will give them an undivided heart and put a new spirit in them; I will remove from them their heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh.\"

\nEzekiel 11:19\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2015-08-11T01:30:42-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/08/11/adversity.html", "tags": ["Health","Colorado","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Love","Courage","Memories","Littles"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/08/09/update-the-semicolon-project.html", "title": "Update: The Semicolon Project", "content_html": "\n
\"\"
\n\n\n

Four of us went to a local tattoo parlor yesterday to fulfill our commitment to one another to get semicolon tattoos. The Semicolon Project is a faith-based initiative to raise the awareness and reduce the stigma of mental health issues. Three of us got the tattoos. One came along for moral support and to be the official photographer.

\n\n\n

The three of us have had mental health issues. We've all had depression and anxiety. One was a cutter. One had a brother who died by suicide. One had overdosed and nearly died herself. Yet here we were, on a hot summer Friday afternoon...gathered together to permanently make a statement that says \"Talk about it. It's ok to get help. You aren't evil or a bad person. You are loved. Your story isn't over.\" It was ironic that as we sat there getting inked up, we were listening to the verdict being read live for the sentencing phase of the Aurora shooter's trial. It was decided his life would be spared because even though he was not legally insane at the time of the shooting, he is mentally ill. Too many severely mentally ill people fall through the cracks in the system and are not given the proper mental health care. Too many people are hurting themselves by cutting or starving themselves. Too many are finding permanent solutions to temporary problems.

\n\n\n

Mental illness can be as simple as mild depression or as complicated as paranoid schizophrenia, bipolar illness, or psychosis. I'll never forget the first time I was referred to as being \"mentally ill\" because I had anxiety and situational depression. I was deeply offended because I had my own bias as to what that meant. To me, it meant I was a social outcast, a leper of sorts. I had a \"diagnosis\" with a code that classified me as mentally ill. I was mortified. Heck, back in the day, it was somewhat fashionable to say someone had a \"nervous breakdown\" because it inferred they had a busy and stressful life and they deserved a little rest in the hospital for a few days. That sounded a lot nicer than mentally ill. If you only knew how many of the world's population actually qualify for a mental health diagnosis, you would be hard pressed to go anywhere where there wasn't someone affected in some way. The Semicolon Project brings us out of the darkness and into the light...into life. Into the freedom from discrimination. It opens up the avenue of conversation.

\n\n\n

As you can see, mine (the one on the right) ended up a little different than the choices of A or B that I gave last week. One of my readers suggested I turn the feather into a quill pen to indicate becoming a writer and to make the semicolon look as though the pen just wrote it. I loved that. It indicates the process. We are always somewhere in the process of becoming the final version of ourselves. The semicolon tells us to pause...take a breath. Our story isn't over.

\n\n\n

❤️

\n\n\n
\n

\"Do not pay attention to every word people say, or you may hear your servant cursing you— for you know in your heart that many times you yourself have cursed others.\"

\nEcclesiastes 7:21-22\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2015-08-09T01:30:28-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/08/09/update-the-semicolon-project.html", "tags": ["Faith","Strong Women","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/07/06/stepping-away-from-fear.html", "title": "Stepping Away From Fear", "content_html": "\n
\"\"
\n\n\n

Spoiler alert: I'm going to talk about the movie \"I'll See You In My Dreams\" so if you haven't seen it and want to, stop reading now.

\n\n\n

I assumed this movie was going to have a happy ending and I suppose, in a way, it did. Just not the one I was hoping for. Blythe Danner plays Carol…a widow of 20 years who has lived a comfortable, safe life since losing her husband in a terrible accident. She has girlfriends and a daughter but she doesn't step outside her comfort zone until a series of events shake her world. She loses her beloved dog, makes an unlikely friendship over karaoke with the pool cleaner, goes ape over a rat that plagues her house, and gets coerced into speed dating by one of her girlfriends. Then…in walks Bill, played by Sam Elliot. He's so handsome, and intriguing and shakes up her world. She begins to believe there may be another love in store for her when Bill unexpectedly dies very soon after they begin dating. Damn. This is NOT what I was expecting. I wanted them to fall in love and live happily ever after, but that's not how life works. Life is messy and seldom has fairy tale endings.

\n\n\n

After losing Mr. Virgo, I swore I would never, EVER have another relationship because I wasn't at all sure I could survive another loss like that. But, being ever hopeful, I get out there, I live life, and I step out of my comfort zone on a regular basis. And as time has passed, that fear of losing another love has subsided. While it would be tragic, it would not kill me and that gives me hope. I don't know that I'll ever fall in love again, but I am no longer afraid of the possibility. And that is a huge change. It's another step. Life is too short to live it in fear.

\n\n\n

❤

\n\n\n
\n

\"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.\"

\nMatthew 6:34\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2015-07-06T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/07/06/stepping-away-from-fear.html", "tags": ["Grief","Strong Women","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/05/30/tent-city.html", "title": "Tent City", "content_html": "\n
\"\"
\n\n\n

This is amazing. Every day more people come and squeeze into any available space in the campground. I've never seen anything like it! I hope to get a panoramic view of the field tomorrow. Thank GOD it hasn't rained. This field isn't referred to as \"Mudville\" for nothing! We were brilliant…we selected the family camping area so it is really quiet. At least it is right now because the late show is still going on.

\n\n\n

I'm sitting outside my \"home\" as I write this. I'm trying to imagine. What if this was how we all HAD to live? Crammed together in a field. People living in makeshift tents, screen rooms, old buses and vans. Large, energy guzzling RVs and travel trailers like mine. What if this was our real home? Water and food would soon become an issue. As would sanitation. Rains would turn this lovely new-mown hay field into a boggy quagmire. Tempers would soon flair. The sense of peace and love and community created by the joint intention of the gathering would soon be lost…given away to fear and greed and envy. Fight or flight. You see it in third world countries every day. I experienced it in the jungles of Mexico many years ago.

\n\n\n

As I'm sitting here, I look at my \"home\" and I'm filled with humble gratitude. I am positively affluent! I have a clean, safe place to live. I am free to live wherever I choose. I am so very grateful for everything God has blessed me with. Truly.

\n\n\n

❤

\n\n\n
\n

\"Clap your hands, all you nations; shout to God with cries of joy.\"

\nPsalm 47:1\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2015-05-30T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/05/30/tent-city.html", "tags": ["Travel","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","The Grand Adventure","Gratitude","Courage","Peaceful Moments","Downsizing","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!","Widow","Road Trip"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/05/29/andit-begins.html", "title": "And...it Begins!", "content_html": "\n
\n\n\n

What a treasure it is to gather with a large variety of humans seeking the same goal. Four days of peace, music, and fun in the sun! The vibe is good...mellow. Reminiscent of the early outdoor concerts of the '60s. Aging hippies getting their groove on. Middle aged couples trying to recover a part of the dream. Days when they were filled with love and promise. Days before the pressures of life took away their ability to play. So here, they don their tie dye and walk barefoot, holding hands with hopeful love. And with the right portion of sun, sound, and sensual dancing, sparks are igniting the embers of a long, too cold winter. And it's summer!!! Young people smelling like patchouli and herbal refreshments, dreads, flowing gauzy skirts dancing with that sheer freedom youth allows. Little ones running around blowing bubbles and chasing balloons.

\n\n\n

A music festival thrusts you into a melting pot of humanity. It is an excellent opportunity to throw off that coat of conformity and allow you to fly...to allow you to be YOU!

\n\n\n

It just doesn't get much better than that. Celebrate life!

\n\n\n

❤

\n\n\n
\n

\"David and all Israel were celebrating with all their might before the Lord, with castanets, harps, lyres, timbrels, sistrums and cymbals.\"

\n2 Samuel 6:5\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2015-05-29T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/05/29/andit-begins.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Camping","Fun","Aging","Presence","Peaceful Moments","Be Joyful!","Widow","Road Trip"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/05/28/live-the-life.html", "title": "Live the Life", "content_html": "\n
\"\"
\n\n\n

Well, the sun has set on this chapter of my Grand Adventure. For those of you who are relatively new, here's a recap. Husband died, sold the house, bought a trailer, gave everything away, moved to West Virginia to take care of Aunt, didn't work out, house sat for six weeks, lived in my camper on the banks of the Ohio River during the worst winter WV has seen in many years (without running water!), listened to tons of live music, renewed friendships and made lots of new ones, bought a bike and a kayak, downsized even more, and now I'm heading for the Nelsonville Music Festival then back to Colorado for the summer. Whew…I'm exhausted just thinking about it!

\n\n\n

This was an expensive lesson I learned here. I paid to move things here. If I would have known the time with my aunt was going to be so short, I would have done things differently. I think the biggest take away is to never make assumptions. Always communicate your needs and desires clearly and listen to the spoken and unspoken words of others. Don't put all your eggs in one basket…have a contingency plan. Forgive. Nurture relationships. Appreciate your surroundings. Pray…a lot! And remember Who guides you through this wilderness.

\n\n\n

I ran errands all day yesterday, but the most satisfying thing happened at dusk. I fit the last thing into the back of the pickup truck like the last piece of a puzzle. There's no more room…but I own nothing else so it really doesn't matter. To stand back and look at my handiwork was gratifying. To stand back and marvel that every single thing I own is resting on eight wheels was pretty humbling. Well, minus the items stored in my friend's basement but I'll be going through those in the fall and getting rid of more.

\n\n\n

I did it! I simplified my life. Now, the only thing left is to LIVE it. Wanna come along???

\n\n\n

❤

\n\n\n
\n

\"My heart is not proud, Lord, my eyes are not haughty; I do not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me. But I have calmed and quieted myself, I am like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child I am content.\"

\nPsalm 131:1-2\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2015-05-28T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/05/28/live-the-life.html", "tags": ["Travel","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","TOW-Wanda!","The Grand Adventure","Wisdom","Downsizing","Widow","Road Trip","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/05/03/wonder-women.html", "title": "Wonder Women", "content_html": "\n
\"\"
\n\n\n

Women are amazing beings. We are fire and ice, blood and wine, satin and steel. We can do anything. Yet, I hate telling young girls they can be anything they want when they grow up because they have never considered it a possibility that they COULDN'T. I used to say that. Now, I prefer to encourage them to find their passion and go for it with everything they have in them.

\n\n\n

My older grand daughter sat in my camper with me the first summer after losing Mr. Virgo. This is my quiet child. Up to that point, I'd swear we never spoke for a total of an hour in her young ten year life. But this day, she found her words and her comfort zone with me. We talked about summer vacation. She said she didn't like it…she'd rather be in school. I asked the inevitable adult question. \"What do you want to be when you grow up?\" She told me she wanted to be a teacher, like her mommy. \"An admirable profession\", I said. Then I asked if she wanted to teach because her mommy does, or because she has a great passion for teaching. She kind of sheepishly dipped her eyes and grinned. \"Because mom teaches.\" \"That's cool\", I told her. \"You're mommy is a great teacher. You could be a great teacher, too. But let me ask you this. What excites you? What problem do you see in the world that you could fix? What's something you could change that would make this world a better place to live in?\" Her eyes lit up. She said, \"Nana, did you know we have the capability to send people to Mars right now but there's no way to bring them back? They can't carry enough fuel with them. I want to figure out what they can take with them that they could turn into fuel to make the return trip!\" \"Well, see there? THAT'S a passion! That's something that could make you excited to go to work every day just like you're excited to go to school every day!\" She seemed satisfied with that and the topic meandered on till she was finished being social and was on to other new and exciting things.

\n\n\n

We are all Wonder Women. Don't ever forget that. It's our job to BE that. It's our job to bring up young girls to believe that they already ARE little Wonder Women and they need to find the place in the world where their talents are most useful and gives them the most joy.

\n\n\n

It was never a dress…it was a woman of power and courage!

\n\n\n

❤

\n\n\n
\n

\"Folly is an unruly woman; she is simple and knows nothing. She sits at the door of her house, on a seat at the highest point of the city, calling out to those who pass by, who go straight on their way, “Let all who are simple come to my house!” To those who have no sense she says, “Stolen water is sweet; food eaten in secret is delicious!” But little do they know that the dead are there, that her guests are deep in the realm of the dead.\"

\nProverbs 9:13-18\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2015-05-03T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/05/03/wonder-women.html", "tags": ["Strong Women","Positive Energy","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/04/16/its-tutu-time.html", "title": "It's Tutu Time!", "content_html": "\n
\"\"
\n\n\n

I'm so excited! My taxes are done. Yesterday I went for a 10 mile bike ride on the Rails to Trails system. Riding dirt, grass, and mud is a lot more work than a paved trail so I was pleased with 10 miles. Today I'm getting the summer tires put on my truck. (Yesssss!) I have a boatload of work to do in the next week to prepare TOW-Wanda for her maiden voyage of the 2015 camping season. Yes, that's right…next week I'm going on a women's camping adventure to Nashville for the annual Country Living Fair! I can't wait!!!

\n\n\n

I'm really excited that I talked one of my friends into joining this camping group. Ok, there was no \"talking into\" to it. I said, \"Hey, you wanna go camping with a bunch of fun, adventurous, crazy gals and earn badges for smoking cigars and fixing the perfect martini?\" She said, \"Sure…where do I sign up?\" Done…a new fellow woman camper was born! I have friends in Nashville that I will get to see as well so that is a bonus!

\n\n\n

There is something to be said for the divine sisterhood. It's more than meeting new friends. We're creating a network…a fabric woven with threads harkened from generations of brave, brilliant, badass women who have gone before us. We may not exemplify that free spirit in our daily lives, but when we get together, we recognize each other from afar as members of the same tribe. We bond, and mentor, and learn, and trust, and grow. We are unstoppable…us worthy women. We may have scars, but our hearts are strong!

\n\n\n

I have one question, though. If you camp every day, if every day is Friday, is the thrill gone from camping altogether? I guess we'll find out next week!

\n\n\n

❤

\n\n\n
\n

\"the sons of God saw that the daughters of humans were beautiful…\"

\nGenesis 6:2\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2015-04-16T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/04/16/its-tutu-time.html", "tags": ["Strong Women","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/04/06/women-can-do-things.html", "title": "Women Can Do Things!", "content_html": "\n

My friend and I finished her bathroom! Women With Power Tools!!! This represents several weeks of work and a lot of planning, but two gals with gumption got it done!

\n\n\n
\"\"
\n\n\n
\"\"
\n\n\n
\"\"
\n\n", "date_published": "2015-04-06T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/04/06/women-can-do-things.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/04/03/never-settle.html", "title": "Never Settle", "content_html": "\n
\"\"
\n\n\n

I am so happy my second daughter was still living at home when Mr. Virgo and I got married. She got to witness firsthand the way a woman should be treated in a relationship. I remember one morning, she came in to wake me up and crawled in bed beside me. Mr. Virgo came in right behind her with a cup of coffee for me and a kiss good morning. I thanked him and turned to my daughter and said \"Don't ever settle for less than this kind of treatment, baby girl.\"

\n\n\n

I wish all women had that kind of role model. There's so much I wish I had been told back when I was just starting out. I had dinner last night with my high school slumber party girlfriends. It made me sit back and think about what might have been different for us if someone would have taught us more. So, in addition to the message in today's meme, I'll list a few snippets of wisdom.

\n\n\n

1) Never make someone a priority to whom you are merely an option. This is easier said than done sometimes, especially when the feelings are not equal. We tend to want to make excuses, rationalize, and flat out pretend. Don't. Just don't.

\n\n\n

2) If one of you isn't \"into\" the relationship, there isn't a relationship. This isn't the normal waxing and waning of ardor. This is \"You're doing all the work and he's just there for the beer.\"

\n\n\n

3) If you have to ask if you are loved, he's not doing his job.

\n\n\n

4) Your body is \"Powerball\". Don't give it away for a \"Scratch Ticket\".

\n\n\n

5) Wear matching bras and panties. No one else may ever see them, but YOU'LL know you are someone to be reckoned with.

\n\n\n

6) Have enough money of your own to pay for the security deposit and first few months rent on an apartment if you have to get out.

\n\n\n

7) A guy may say something blatantly unkind and hurt your feelings. Everyone makes a mistake. A mistake made more than once is a choice. Don't make excuses for him.

\n\n\n

8) You will not change him. You CANNOT change him. Do not…do not…do not try to change him.

\n\n\n

9) Don't neglect your girlfriends. Nurture those relationships. You're going to need them some day. Trust me on this.

\n\n\n

10) Trust your gut. If something doesn't feel right, believe that.

\n\n\n

And last….people show you who they really are. Please…believe them.

\n\n\n

Now, all of this being said, I want to tell my male readers…I'm not male bashing here. These tips can just as easily be reworded and given to men. I'm addressing women mainly as that is my reader base. Just know I'm sensitive to your issues as well.

\n\n\n

❤

\n\n\n
\n

\"Strength and dignity are her clothing, And she smiles at the future. She opens her mouth in wisdom, And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.\"

\nProverbs 31:25-26\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2015-04-03T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/04/03/never-settle.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/03/17/fixing-myself.html", "title": "Fixing Myself", "content_html": "\n
\"\"
\n\n\n

How many of you have been in a relationship where \"fixing\" was the primary focus? OMGosh! That is a NO WIN situation. My second marriage was all about fixing each other. He wasn't demonstrative. I tried to fix that and magically turn him into the huggy-kissy man I needed. I was needy, overweight, and depressed and he tried to fix that and turn back the hands of time. It was exhausting and fruitless. And it wasted about ten precious years of our lives. When Mr. Virgo came along, there was nothing to be fixed. We just fit. And we could rest in that. We were an oasis in a great big desert.

\n\n\n

Even in our everyday lives, we are often tempted to try to fix a situation. I'm practicing with one of my friends. We've been working on her bathroom for the last few weeks. There are some things I have more experience with than she does, but I give input when asked and do my best to step back and be her cheerleader. She's the one who will grow with the sense of accomplishment. I don't have to jump in and try to steal her thunder. I was telling another friend the other day about being anxious about going to a crowded theater. The answer I got was refreshing. \"I can't fix that for you. But I can be your friend while you fix it.\" I think that response did more for me than anything. It acknowledged my feelings while setting a boundary with love and respect.

\n\n\n

How….healthy!

\n\n\n

❤

\n\n\n
\n

\"“Do all that you have in mind,” his armor-bearer said. “Go ahead; I am with you heart and soul.”

\n1 Samuel 14:7\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2015-03-17T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/03/17/fixing-myself.html", "tags": ["Health","Strong Women","Growth","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/03/07/progress.html", "title": "Progress!", "content_html": "\n

Progress is being made. Another step closer to getting my friend's bathroom done. Yesterday we set the vanity and countertop. And the marble backsplash. We had an extra set of hands when Carol showed up so we hung the medicine chest. We had to mount the medicine chest lower than the standard because my friend is vertically challenged. Unfortunately, that means her faucet is too tall for the space between the vanity and the mirrors so she'll have to take it back. We set the countertop with adhesive to the top of the vanity. We affixed the backsplash to the wall behind the sink. Then we ran a tight bead of silicone caulk on the seam where they meet. We put in the doors and the drawers. A little plumbing and we're finished with the sink. We work by committee, always reminding each other of important details. It's really looking great!

\n\n\n

❤

\n\n\n
\n

\"Then Pharaoh’s daughter went down to the Nile to bathe…..\"

\nExodus 2:5\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2015-03-07T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/03/07/progress.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Fun","West Virginia"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/03/04/yesyou-can.html", "title": "Yes…You Can!", "content_html": "\n
\"\"
\n\n\n

I am so proud of my friend. Last week I showed you the underlayment I put down in her bathroom for her. That was in preparation for the vinyl tiles she was going to lay. There's a new kind of peel and stick tile that you can use spacers with and grout to look just like ceramic or stone tiles. How many of us have been told we can't do something simply because we are women? Well, so has this gal and she, like many of us, has a tendency to second guess herself and listen to other people's opinions. I assured her she was more than capable, stop overthinking, and do the job the way her gut told her. And look! She finished the tile and grout on her bathroom floor and it looks awesome. Today, we'll move the new vanity in and hook up the plumbing. She's doing an awesome job.

\n\n\n

After mom died, I needed to renovate the house to sell it. I ripped the kitchen out to the walls and did all the work except hang the kitchen cabinets and hook up the gas stove. I had a book about home repairs. I would read about what I had to do the next morning, put the book under my pillow, and sleep on it. The next day, I just knew how to do stuff. Pretty neat! Now there's a video on YouTube about anything. Us gals can do SO much more than we give ourselves credit for. Good on you, my friend!

\n\n\n

❤

\n\n\n
\n

\"A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.\"

\nProverbs 17:17\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2015-03-04T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/03/04/yesyou-can.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Kindness"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/02/26/self-sufficient.html", "title": "Self Sufficient", "content_html": "\n
\"\"
\n\n\n

One of my friends has been in the throes of renovating a bathroom for the last three weeks. She has a hired man who does work for her but because of other commitments and this abysmal weather we've been having, he hasn't been there to work. And the empty shell of her bathroom sits there staring at her. My friend is a strong, self reliant woman so she decided to take matters into her own hands. She knew how to do just about everything but use the circular saw. I did a great deal of construction when I renovated my mom's house so she texted me Monday and asked if I could help her. I went over yesterday morning and, first things first, we headed to Panera for coffee and breakfast. That's the only way to start a project! Then it was off to Home Depot and Lowe's to buy supplies. In just a few hours, we had all but a small section of the floor covered with new underlayment in preparation for new flooring. We'll finish Friday.

\n\n\n

One of the most satisfying and empowering things you can do is learn to use power tools. Building something with your own hands gives you such a sense of accomplishment. Don't be afraid to stretch and do something you've never done before. You can do anything!

\n\n\n

❤

\n\n\n
\n

\"For every house is built by someone, but God is the builder of everything.\"

\nHebrews 3:4\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2015-02-26T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/02/26/self-sufficient.html", "tags": ["Strong Women","Positive Energy","Fun","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/02/21/im-tough-but.html", "title": "I'm Tough, But...", "content_html": "\n
\"\"
\n\n\n

Ok, I'm tough. I think you all know that about me by now. But, when I went in the fridge yesterday morning and all my frozen food was thawed out and I couldn't get my feet warm and I realized I haven't had a bubble bath or shaved my legs since Christmas and we're expecting 5-8\" of heavy wet snow rain sleet vermin frogs…whatever…I gave up for the weekend. I talked the lovely front desk clerk at the hotel of choice into a reasonable rate, packed my little suitcase, gathered my reading and writing materials, and headed for town. I've already had the first of what I am predicting are several hot baths, I feel semi-human, and I'm going to nap and write to my hearts' content. Thank you, God…for MasterCard and lavender bubble bath. Take THAT, Winter…you're not the boss of me!

\n\n\n

❤

\n\n\n
\n

“As long as the earth endures, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night will never cease.”

\nGenesis 8:22\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2015-02-21T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/02/21/im-tough-but.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Wisdom","Peaceful Moments","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/02/14/happy-valentines-day.html", "title": "Happy Valentine's Day!", "content_html": "\n
\"\"
\n\n\n

My great grandfather used to say, \"It'll stop hurting when the pain goes away.\" I never quite got the deeper meaning of those words till yesterday. I woke up feeling more peaceful than I have since Mr. Virgo died. It was remarkable. I couldn't put my finger on anything specific…I just felt lighthearted, like I could take on the world. The sun broke the horizon and made the frost on the windows glow a lovely golden yellow. It was 4 degrees outside but inside, my world was warm and beautiful and calm. I just laid there and enjoyed that feeling and was ever so grateful.

\n\n\n

I'm heading for the two year mark now. Some of you have been following along from the beginning. If you are new, I lost my beloved Mr. Virgo in March 2013. We were buying a camper and he had a heart attack and died. I went ahead and bought one and started this journey. We've had lots of ups and downs, you and me. We'll have more. But today is a day to share the love and tell those who are important to you that you care.

\n\n\n

You all have been important to me…and, I care about you. I've gotten to know some of you personally. I recognize your names and look forward to hearing from you. We offer support and prayers for each other when they're needed. We encourage each other when the going gets tough and we applaud each other when we accomplish our goals. I am so proud of this page and of all you brave souls. I love y'all…more than biscuits and gravy! I hope you have a good day.

\n\n\n

❤

\n\n\n
\n

\"And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.\"

\nColossians 3:14 NIV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2015-02-14T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/02/14/happy-valentines-day.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Growth","Gratitude","Holiday","Wisdom","Courage","Change","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/01/02/hibernation.html", "title": "Hibernation", "content_html": "\n
\"\"
\n\n\n

When my older daughter was about six or seven, we were sitting on the couch watching a PBS special. (Just ask her…Channel 6 is all she was ever allowed to watch. We were SO mean!) At one point, she sighed and laid her head on my shoulder.

\n\n\n

\"Mama?\"

\n\n\n

\"Yes, babe?\"

\n\n\n

\"When I die, I want to come back as a bear.\"

\n\n\n

\"Really. Why is that?\"

\n\n\n

\"So I can hyperventilate all winter.\"

\n\n\n

The child of medical parents who made her watch PBS nature shows. Poor kid.

\n\n\n

There's something to be said for hibernating, though. I spent a good deal of time on the phone yesterday with various friends. Every single one of them was searching for something…some sort of comfort…some form of peace. Quiet. Stillness. This was the major theme. I totally get that. I went to get a coffee yesterday morning, stopped at the store, emptied out my truck, watched the parade, did some laundry, and communed with my like-minded, ready-to-hibernate comrades. I was right there with them.

\n\n\n

What brings us to this place where we crave the cave? Part of it, of course, is the long dark nights. And we are coming down off the frenzied sugar high of the holidays. We need to retreat…be still…listen to our hearts. Whether you're rescuing yourself from a week of guests like a friend of mine, or feeling the stress of too many obligations and too many funerals like my friend Denise, or reeling from the death of your mother like my friend Debbie, or escaping from an emotional bruising like me…we're all the same. We just want to be left alone to lick our wounds and refill our well.

\n\n\n

I received a private message from one of my readers yesterday. He was confused. He didn't understand what was happening with me because I was here to help my aunt and the next thing he knew, I was off on a different course. He wondered if he missed something and if I was ok. It made me realize not all of you get to see every post and some might think I didn't take this situation with my aunt seriously or that I'm flighty. While there are certainly areas of my life beyond the scope of this page, there aren't many and I've been up front and open with you about everything else…so here goes.

\n\n\n

I've spent a great deal of time the last few weeks praying and meditating on what changed about the dynamic between my aunt and me. We are about as different as two people can possibly be. While she is very bright, somewhat worldly, and well read, she is extremely narrow in her views and uncompromising in her beliefs. I am a liberal, free-spirited social butterfly. She is 83…she believes in saying exactly what comes into her mind, without filter, and without regard for the effect her words may have on the recipient. I am 61…I believe in diplomacy and the rule my grandma taught me - \"If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.\" She is also angry. She is losing her independence and knows it. I am healthy and free, active and young. At least youngER. I was the closest thing available for my aunt to lash out at. I get that. I understand it from a medical and intellectual standpoint. That doesn't make it sting any less, but I certainly get where she's coming from. The problem came when she made it personal. When she started making calculated attacks, then retreating with sweetness only to attack again when I got close enough, it started making me question what was going on. I don't want to believe she would actually be mean…on purpose. But none of that matters in the grand scheme of things. Because if she doesn't respect me…if she doesn't trust my judgement or my expertise…a caregiving relationship cannot be established. Nothing will ever be right…nothing will ever be satisfactory. And, as it turns out, I am not who she wants in that capacity and that's ok. This is, after all, her life…her home…her future. The sad thing is, I doubt there's anyone else she WOULD want. I know there is no one else available. I was the only one, short of hiring someone, that can keep her out of a nursing home. I felt it was the best thing, for all parties involved, to bow out gracefully and let she and her brother figure out a solution that will be more amenable to her. I also wanted to do this in such a way that would not break whatever tenuous connection we still have. After talking with her yesterday, I think we may have accomplished that. I hope so, because I do love her and only want what's best for everyone involved.

\n\n\n

Relationships are a lot of work. I knew coming into this that it might not work out, but I held high hopes. The most wonderful lesson I have learned from this situation is…I can trust my gut instincts AND I can control my mouth and not go down a destructive path just to prove a point. So, now I can hibernate a little bit myself, fill my well, and come out swinging again. We all need a little down time. You should never feel bad about taking yours.

\n\n\n

❤

\n\n", "date_published": "2015-01-02T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/01/02/hibernation.html", "tags": ["Family","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Growth","Peace","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Courage","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/12/30/born-to-sparkle.html", "title": "Born to Sparkle!", "content_html": "\n
\"\"
\n\n\n

Do you ever look at your little girl pictures and wonder where your sparkle went? It takes a lot to dull my shine, but lately…I just haven't been feeling it. Then I came across this picture in my archives. Just look at this little girl! She's got her nekkid baby doll, a pretty dress with shiny party shoes, and she's at her grandma's house. What else IS there to life? She hasn't been molested or abused. She hasn't seen her parents fight. She hasn't dated or married or divorced. She hasn't had babies. She hasn't worried about how to pay the bills. She hasn't sat on the edge of the bed at 2am waiting to see the headlights signaling her daughter's safe return home. She hasn't comforted her bullied child. She hasn't held her grandchildren. She hasn't lost her mom. She hasn't met the love of her life. She hasn't lost him. She hasn't known grief.

\n\n\n

She hasn't known grief. But she will. She'll have trouble breathing. She'll step on that rake in the grass all too often. She'll feel the grief rise and fall in her chest like the tide. She'll reel with the pain and she'll learn how to take it. She'll vow never to hurt again, but she will. She'll vow never to love again, but she will. She'll think she can never sparkle again…but she will.

\n\n\n

She will.

\n\n\n

Because…look at this little girl.

\n\n\n

She was BORN…TO…SPARKLE!

\n\n\n

❤

\n\n", "date_published": "2014-12-30T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/12/30/born-to-sparkle.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","The Farm","Growth","Gratitude","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Courage","Aging","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/11/15/victory.html", "title": "Victory!", "content_html": "

\"home “Be careful with Home Security companies.”

\n

I am not one to tear down a company on my page as I don’t feel this is an appropriate venue for that. But I can tell you my story surrounding my experience with a national security company and how it affected me as a consumer and a widow.

\n

A year ago, I was heading into my first winter without Mr. Virgo. One Saturday, a lovely little gal came to my door selling security systems. The month before, a young man had come and I was totally put off by his smarmy approach, but this little gal was warm and caring. She found out I am a widow and she used this to her advantage as a sales tactic. She kept saying things like “Well, it’s really dark up here on this hill. I’ll bet you would feel much safer being up here alone if you have a security system installed.” I don’t feel bad about saying I fell for it, because those of you who are widowed will understand how easy it is to be manipulated and taken advantage of when you are grieving. I will have to say, this company offers a superior product and the service itself is not necessarily overly expensive. I went with the smart home package because I could operate the system from my phone and the electronic, programmable thermostat did indeed save me at least $20-25 per month on my utility bill. This, in addition to the insurance discount for having a security system, cut my actual out of pocket expenses in half. My problems started when I decided to sell my house.

\n

It took six months, innumerable phone calls, explanation after explanation, tears, frustration, a potty mouth, error after error on the company’s part, and finally…a visit to the farm by a lovely young man who confirmed we, indeed, have no cell service and our landline is unpredictable. Thank God the landline phone dropped three calls when the technician was trying to phone in to report his recommendation that they cancel my contract without penalty. And that penalty? It would have cost me $2000 to cancel! It’s a shame, really. This is a good company, with a good product, but their treatment bordered on bullying and their sales people can be compared to the worst stereotype of the snake oil salesman and that is not acceptable. Their “claim to fame” is their “Award Winning” customer service. Right.

\n

I guess the bottom line lesson that I learned is this. When they say don’t make any major decisions for the first year after a major loss like the death of a spouse, that should include “Don’t enter into any contracts unless you seek counsel from family or friends.” Also, don’t let a salesperson intimidate you by using your fears to manipulate you into something you wouldn’t necessarily have done before your loss. When I went to look at trucks before I left Colorado, I was at a large dealership in Denver and they tried the hard sell tactic. I stood up and thanked them for their time and told them I needed to talk to my financial advisor and my kids before I could make any big decisions because I am a widow and I wanted to make sure I was doing the right thing. When they kept hounding me, using that “But…you’re my best buddy!” tactic, I became more and more firm. I listened twice then just said “Thank you.” And left. Period.

\n

We, as women, have often deferred to our husbands to deal with difficult sales people and to make the big financial transactions. We, as widows, are often taken advantage of, manipulated, and even abused by sales people and companies. Don’t let yourselves fall victim to unscrupulous sales and business practices. Stand up for yourself even if you just say you have to ask your kids in order to get away from an uncomfortable situation. There’s no shame in that. An honorable business will understand that and not try to make you feel bad for taking the time to think and make the decision that’s right for you. <3

\n", "date_published": "2014-11-15T02:30:04-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/11/15/victory.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Growth","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/10/12/sisters-in-kansas.html", "title": "Sisters in Kansas", "content_html": "
\n
\n
\n
\n
\n

\"four “Sisters on the Fly in Kansas”

\n
\n\n
\n
\n
\n
\n
\n\nMy dear friend Carol (second from left) and me (far right) met up with two more Sisters for coffee at Panera this morning in Topeka. Anywhere you go, you can just about guarantee you're going to have a Sister, in the truest sense of the word, within a short drive of you. I cannot tell you how much this organization has been a gift to me in the last year and a half. If you have the opportunity, I really would encourage you to join. It's so empowering!\n

I settled in my next camp before the sun set. Had a nice dinner, met the “next door neighbors”, and enjoyed catching up with friends and family with the events of the day. I’m telling you, this is a special life I’m living here! \"\"

\n
\n", "date_published": "2014-10-12T01:30:44-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/10/12/sisters-in-kansas.html", "tags": ["Travel","Strong Women","Sisters on the Fly","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","The Grand Adventure","Fun","Gratitude","goRVing","Courage","Downsizing"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/04/29/age-is-just-a-number.html", "title": "Age is Just a Number", "content_html": "

\"woman “Age is Just a Number”

\n

The other night I was talking to my aunt and she was tearful. She turns 80 tomorrow and doesn’t want to be 80. Her husband has been ill and has had a couple of strokes. She has some help with him, but she still does a lot. She’s sitting there watching her husband die slowly. I can understand that she is sad facing such a monumental birthday! So, maybe age ISN’T just a state of mind….just a number. At least not when the waves are crashing. I’ll be 61 next month. I’m sure my views will change if I am blessed with longevity.

\n

That being said…attitude can make a huge difference in how satisfied we are with life…at ANY age. <3

\n", "date_published": "2014-04-29T01:30:18-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/04/29/age-is-just-a-number.html", "tags": ["Family","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Courage","Aging"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/04/28/til-next-time.html", "title": "'Til Next Time", "content_html": "

\"vintage “Cowgirl Caravan”

\n

Ok, remember your very favorite slumber party when you were a girl. Now, picture that very same slumber party but this time there’s fifty girls, you can do whatever you want for four days, and you’re not going to get in trouble. (Well, ok….at least no one is going to TELL on you!)

\n

That’s what a Sisters on the Fly​ event is like. I feel like I got to sit at the cool kids table because we’re ALL cool kids! I remember when I was in my thirties and it occurred to me I had forgotten how to play. We get so caught up in our families and work and responsibilities that we push that playful girl into the background. SOTF makes girls out of women. It’s a safe place to let off steam and act silly and laugh till…well, you know. We can dress up in silly outfits and wear tiaras and tutus with our cowgirl boots. We can smoke a cigar or streak through the campground nekkid and earn a merit badge for it! (That actually happened on this trip. If there was a CPR badge, I might have streaked because anyone who witnessed it would be at grave risk!) Fun….just plain fun! Can’t wait for the next gathering. I have found my tribe.

\n

Happy Trails!

\n", "date_published": "2014-04-28T01:30:32-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/04/28/til-next-time.html", "tags": ["Colorado","Travel","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Sisters on the Fly","Positive Energy","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","The Grand Adventure","Fun","Growth","goRVing"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/04/17/farm-fresh-eggs.html", "title": "Farm Fresh Eggs", "content_html": "

\"fresh “Farm Fresh Eggs”

\n

Once you have farm fresh eggs, you realize what terrible reproductions you’ve actually been eating. They are rich and the yolks are a deep orange and they stand up in the pan, not like those pale yellow things that just lay there.

\n

I swear I remember my grandma having chickens when I was very little, but my aunt says she has no recollection of that. I know we had extended family with chickens, ducks, geese, guinea hens, and pheasants. I have always wanted chickens but have never lived where I could have them. One of my dearest friends had chickens. They lived in town and city council had just approved a certain number of chickens per household. The only thing was, you couldn’t have roosters. She got a batch of fancy chicks and was assured they had been sexed and there were no roosters. Well, when the time came, there was a great deal of cock-a-doodle-dooing coming from the chicken coop and the town officials were on her. She tried like crazy to find homes but everyone had their quota and we ended up butchering them, thinking we would at least have some chicken meat out of the ordeal. No such luck. They were so scrawny they might as well have been songbirds. And the whole episode was thoroughly traumatic for all involved.

\n

I have a cousin in WV who had a couple of huge chicken houses where they produced fertilized eggs for the poultry industry. We went to visit once and I was shocked at the sheer volume of chickens and the noise. They did a great job of keeping it clean but man, it was a lot of work picking eggs every day. I asked my cousin if she would send us home with some eggs. I was SO disappointed. I pictured them being like farm eggs but they were worse than store bought because their only purpose was reproduction, not food.

\n

Speaking of eggs, besides the obvious upcoming Easter holiday, Passover is this week. At the Seder, the traditional meal on the first and second nights of Passover, a Seder plate is laid out with, among other things, an egg to symbolize the arrival of spring and new growth. The Last Supper was a Passover Seder. I would like to wish my family and friends a Happy Passover. I have been so busy this week, I forgot to say anything.

\n", "date_published": "2014-04-17T01:30:40-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/04/17/farm-fresh-eggs.html", "tags": ["Strong Women","The Farm","Gratitude","Grace"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/04/08/meanwhile-back-on-the-farm.html", "title": "Meanwhile, back on the farm...", "content_html": "

\"woman “Meanwhile, back on the farm…”

\n

This photo makes me smile. We lived in this log house on two acres a few miles out of town. I grew up spending a lot of time on my grandparents’ farm in WV. I owned every issue of Mother Earth News. I cut and split wood. And I wanted a garden, so I borrowed this old John Deere and plowed the south forty. Well, 4000 square feet of it anyway. I had every vegetable you could want and they were growing like crazy. I went back home to visit family the end of June and my husband called me to break the news. We had a hard freeze and my garden was gone. June 23rd. Sigh.

\n

I tried again the next summer and apparently the deer got the memo about the new 4000 square foot salad bar opening up because they were camped out with bibs on. Grrrrr.

\n

I didn’t have a garden for years till I bought this house 14 years ago and I can’t say I have a proper garden. A neighbor moved and left their hot tub saying they’d be back for it. I never heard from them again. I filled it and it worked for a year. When it broke, I filled it with dirt and created the world’s biggest container garden! I got quite a lot of veggies out of it.

\n

Hope you are enjoying your spring…wherever you are!

\n", "date_published": "2014-04-08T01:30:25-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/04/08/meanwhile-back-on-the-farm.html", "tags": ["Colorado","Family","Uplifting Stories","Strong Women","Fun","Gratitude","Peace"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/03/18/go-do-its-travel-tuesday.html", "title": "Go. Do. It's Travel Tuesday!", "content_html": "

 

\n

\"meme\" “Go do those things!”

\n

I’m planning my next trip. I have at least two weeks, maybe three, with a free schedule. I’ve been invited to participate in a couple of art shows and need to get some things made. I can just as easily pack up my portable studio and make art on the road so I’m heading south. I want to hit NM then back up through the Four Corners and visit the sights in SE Utah.

\n

I love my little trailer. It offers me a sense of security. It’s cozy. It’s the playhouse I never had as a child. My fort. My treehouse. My princess castle. If you have the means to have a trailer of your own but fear is stopping you, find someone local who can show you the ropes. Sisters on the Fly​ has chapters everywhere. With your membership, you can do a search for Sisters in your area. We are always ready to help a newbie learn to spread her wings and fly! Honestly, it isn’t that difficult to learn and you’d be surprised how easy it is to handle a small trailer.

\n

If trailering isn’t your thing, I still encourage you to find your way out for adventures. There’s a big, beautiful world out there just waiting to be explored. You can do this. I got your back, girlfriend!

\n", "date_published": "2014-03-18T01:30:20-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/03/18/go-do-its-travel-tuesday.html", "tags": ["Travel","Strong Women","Positive Energy","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","Growth","Comfort","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/03/11/the-widowmaker.html", "title": "The Widowmaker", "content_html": "

\"coronary “The Widowmaker”

\n

As many of you know, Mr. Virgo died one year ago tomorrow. He certainly seemed healthy except for a fairly large weight loss in the months leading up to his death. He attributed that to being too busy during ski season to sit down and eat. Also, his dentures were still new and it hurt him to eat.

\n

On the morning of March 12th, we drove to Grand Junction to look at travel trailers. Standing in the fourth one, he had a massive heart attack and was dead in 3 hours. He had what is called The Widowmaker which is a sudden and complete blockage of his anterior descending artery. The cardiologist in the ER kept turning to me and reminding me it was “grave”. He mentioned there is an increase in heart attacks with the time change. This is due to a challenge to the circadian rhythms that regulate everything in our bodies from sleep to cardiac rhythm.

\n

Mr. Virgo was a stubborn man. He might wince at a hangnail and at the same time downplay that pain in his left shoulder. He refused to have the complete physical his doctor recommended just three months before. So, as they say, the rest is history.

\n

I suggest you schedule a physical this time every year. If you are having ANY cardiac symptoms, don’t try to be a tough guy….get checked! You just might be saving your own life and preventing, or postponing at least, the heartbreak your death will cause those who are left behind. Here is a link for an explanation of this type of heart attack.

\n

http://blog.myheart.net/2013/12/19/the-widowmaker/

\n", "date_published": "2014-03-11T01:30:19-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/03/11/the-widowmaker.html", "tags": ["Grief","Strong Women","Wisdom","Aging","Warning"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2013/06/15/red-mountain-pass-on-the.html", "title": "RED MOUNTAIN PASS ON THE MILLION DOLLAR HIGHWAY", "content_html": "\"Red\n

Another shot from The Grand Adventure, Part 2. My friend, Sue, and I had just watched the Iron Horse Classic where crazy people race the train from Durango to Silverton. For those of you who have driven that, you know what a major deal that would be. For those who have done it, I’m sorry I called you crazy. :-)

\n", "date_published": "2013-06-15T02:00:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2013/06/15/red-mountain-pass-on-the.html", "tags": ["Colorado","Travel","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","The Grand Adventure"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2013/06/12/sisters-on-the-fly-and.html", "title": "SISTERS ON THE FLY AND MY TOW-WANDA SAVED ME", "content_html": "\"Sisters\n

And there she is….TOW-Wanda! Dressed in all her finery at the “Home on the Grange” event for Sisters on the Fly! I knew that coat was going to come in handy some day!

\n", "date_published": "2013-06-12T02:00:51-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2013/06/12/sisters-on-the-fly-and.html", "tags": ["Colorado","Travel","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Sisters on the Fly","Positive Energy","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","The Grand Adventure","Fun"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2013/04/09/what-a-difference-a-day.html", "title": "WHAT A DIFFERENCE A DAY MAKES", "content_html": "\"Man\n

When I last posted here, my world was still in one piece. It was a Friday. There was a blizzard. I worked in the office that week instead of getting anything done in the studio. I went out the day before and bought an Expedition so Mr. Virgo and I could travel in comfort and enjoy life instead of waiting till retirement. He texted me that morning to tell me he loved me and to see what I was up to. At about 2 in the afternoon, he called to see what was for supper. As he always did, he called me at 5:30-6:00 to tell me he was just leaving the parking garage. We talked till he got halfway home then I scooted into the kitchen and got the food going. I sat back down in the living room and called him back, just to hear his voice. I told him to let me know when he got to the bridge and I would get back in the kitchen to put the finishing touches on his favorite dish. Then, back to my perch in the living room to watch for his headlights. When I saw him turn into the driveway, I jumped up, flung open the door, waited till he was out of the car so he could hear me, and yelled “BABY!”. He turned to me and smiled and said, “Hey, honey!” I told him, “Get yer butt in here!” and he said, “I’m a tryin’.” He came in the door, tired, but grinning from ear to ear and said, “Mmmmm, that smells great, babe!” and I pretended to blush and said “Come on, let’s get your coat off so I can give you a big hug!” Every night, same thing. Never, EVER got tired of that man’s homecoming. It was an EVENT!

\n

I don’t know what I did on Saturday and Sunday. I’m sure I worked in the studio, but didn’t post on here. Mondays and Tuesdays were sacred…they were for us. He was really tired on Monday, and I had to get something ready to send to the printer, so he rested on the couch for a while. It was a nice, lazy day with a nice lazy dinner that evening. Tuesday dawned, beautiful and sunny. I fixed him a nice breakfast and asked him if he’d like to go for a ride in the new car and go see travel trailers. He lit right up and said that sounded like a perfect day. I did up the dishes and we set off for the next big town, about an hour away. We commented how nice this new car was for holding hands while you drive…a major prerequisite in purchasing a car in our house. We talked about where we would like to take the trailer on our first trip in May. We laughed and told stories, and caught up with what was going on in our lives. We got to the RV dealer and someone said to just take our time and browse…they were all open. It was a warm morning and we walked toward our future, hand in hand.

\n

In the fourth trailer, I noticed he was grimacing and asked him what was wrong. It was his shoulder, he said. It really hurt. I asked him to sit down on the sofa for a minute. Concerned, I asked him if he thought I needed to take him to the doctor, and much to my amazement, he said he thought I’d better. This is a man who fought in Vietnam. If he tells you he needs to see a doctor, something is terribly wrong. Now, I’ve worked in medicine for over forty years. I know what questions to ask and what to look for. I asked if he hurt anywhere else and he said yes and pointed to his neck. I told him to wait right there and ran to get help and have them call 911. I wasn’t gone 60 seconds and when I got back, things were really bad. I had the guys that were with me put him down on the floor of the trailer in case I had to do CPR. I elevated his feet and yelled for an aspirin. One miraculously appeared! I made him chew it. I kept yelling to him to hold on, the paramedics were coming, just please stay with me. I finally whispered in his ear. “I love you, handsome man” and he said, “I love you, too.” And that is the last thing we said to each other. Because he was only sixty-two, they worked on him for about four hours, but there was nothing they could do for him. The cardiologist said the type of heart attack he had is called a “widow maker”.

\n

That it was.

\n

Today marks four weeks since my sweetheart left me. Our 6th Wedding Anniversary was the day before yesterday. I can breathe now, not great, but I can. I can look at his picture and talk about him without bursting into tears…sometimes. I feel him with me. I talk to him and I imagine what he would say. And, since I asked Jesus into my life 8 years ago, I know I will never be alone. But oh, how I miss him! His sweet smile, his clear blue eyes, that shock of silver hair, his rapier wit, his hugs, his quiet, steady breathing as he lay beside me at night. I feel as though half of me is paralyzed. It’s there, but I just can’t feel it, I can’t move it. This grief is like walking through tall grass. You start to move forward, carefully at first, and then take bigger strides, and BAM! You step on the rake that was hiding in the grass and it comes up and smacks you right between the eyes!

\n

I will get through this. I have had heartbreak before and survived. What makes this worse is the finality. The waves of grief that come out of nowhere. The planned life that is just….gone. The uncertainty. Sometimes, there just are no words.

\n", "date_published": "2013-04-09T02:00:37-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2013/04/09/what-a-difference-a-day.html", "tags": ["Family","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2013/04/07/the-first-first.html", "title": "THE FIRST FIRST", "content_html": "

Today would have been our 6th Wedding Anniversary. I am saddened by my own loss and empathize the pain others are feeling for their losses. Now, I get to make a choice. I can lay here in this bed and cry all day, or I can reach out to those who were with us that beautiful spring day and celebrate the gifts we were given! Ok, maybe just 5 more minutes, then I’ll get up.

\n", "date_published": "2013-04-07T02:00:39-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2013/04/07/the-first-first.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2013/04/04/a-new-trailera-new-life.html", "title": "A NEW TRAILER...A NEW LIFE", "content_html": "

So, I got home from Denver yesterday with the new trailer! Yay! Spent the afternoon putting things in it and started decorating. I’m going with a turquoise and red theme from the 40’s/50’s. I had a mailbox full of cards which was very nice. I had several packages of supplies that were delivered. And one box from a friend back home in WV. I opened it and there was a beautiful quilt she had made for me. It has the Lord’s Prayer on it. What a sweet gift! Thanks Ginny! Check out her page at Log Cabin Country Quilts in Marietta, OH

\n", "date_published": "2013-04-04T02:00:43-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2013/04/04/a-new-trailera-new-life.html", "tags": ["Travel","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","TOW-Wanda!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2013/03/28/my-new-trailer.html", "title": "MY NEW TRAILER", "content_html": "\"SPORTSMEN\n

Well, girls…after much deliberation and discussion with my family, I decided to go with a new trailer, but with a Retro feel to it. In reviewing the spec on the ‘69 Cardinal refurbished trailer, there was no bathroom, only an icebox, and the only bed was the convertible dinette. My daughter and I went shopping today and found this baby. She has that Retro feel, sort of like the old Tag-a-Long. But, she’s 16’ long, has a bathroom with toilet and shower, two burner cooktop, microwave, 3-way refrigerator, AC/furnace, sink, convertible dinette, bunk beds, and an awning. All for the same price as the rebuilt one! I can still decorate her and she’ll become a faux vintage trailer. Now…I need to come up with a name for her! Any ideas?

\n", "date_published": "2013-03-28T11:01:16-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2013/03/28/my-new-trailer.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","TOW-Wanda!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2013/03/18/a-difficult-week.html", "title": "A DIFFICULT WEEK", "content_html": "

Well, this was a difficult week but I’m on the other side of it so I must “Keep Calm and Carry On” as Her Majesty says. The funeral was Saturday and it was truly a most wonderful tribute to a great man. All the family is gone so today I got my hair done and worked at the office for a few hours. The rest of the week will be filled with paperwork and appointments then my daughters want me to come spend Spring Break with them. My oldest daughter took me to Lowe’s yesterday and we bought the coolest tool box on wheels. I’m going to transfer my studio tools and supplies into it so I can be mobile. I haven’t attempted any jewelry yet, but I did just get some great silver iced tea spoons in the mail today so I am pretty jazzed about that. My studio is unfortunately in disarray as everything got tossed in there when preparing for company last week. That’s what I get for overflowing into the spare bedroom! Thank you all for your wonderful words of love and support this past week. You have no idea how much it has meant to me! And welcome to all my new friends who are following me. I will be back in full force before you know it!

\n", "date_published": "2013-03-18T02:00:40-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2013/03/18/a-difficult-week.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2013/03/15/where-it-all-began.html", "title": "WHERE IT ALL BEGAN...", "content_html": "\"Handsome\n

I come to you today with great sorrow. I lost my beloved husband two days ago of a sudden, massive heart attack. He was my love, my soul mate and my best friend.

\n

I won’t be in the studio for awhile but I will still check this page and monitor sales. Please keep our family in your prayers and I’ll be back as soon as I can.

\n", "date_published": "2013-03-15T02:00:43-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2013/03/15/where-it-all-began.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women"] } ] }