{ "version": "https://jsonfeed.org/version/1", "title": "Wedding on Marshmallow Ranch", "icon": "https://avatars.micro.blog/avatars/2026/36/1962506.jpg", "home_page_url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/", "feed_url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/feed.json", "items": [ { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2025/03/15/i-missed-the-wedding.html", "title": "I Missed the Wedding!", "content_html": "\n
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Y’all…I had a long and busy day yesterday and by the time I got home, I was exhausted. The kitchen was a mess from all this sourdough stuff so I had to clean it before I fixed supper, then clean it after. You know how that is. Later, when I was ready to go out to the camper to write, I sent a note to my sister-in-law congratulating them for my nephew’s wedding. Then I said, “I’m really looking forward to seeing you on the live feed of the wedding tomorrow.” She responded, “We’re at the wedding now!”

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I was crushed and just burst into tears. I thought for sure it was on Saturday…or maybe I thought yesterday was Thursday…but when I looked at my calendar, there it was! I called Mr. FixIt in the house and cried on the phone with him. Sweet man came out and hugged me. My S-I-L sent me a few pictures. That lifted my spirits. It was a gorgeous setting and they are such a beautiful couple!

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It was just a long week with Mr. Virgo’s Angelversary, our friend’s health news, doing the income taxes, paying the other taxes, and then missing the BIG EVENT…it was just the straw that broke the camel’s back, so I’m cutting this short. A good night’s sleep will do wonders for my disposition. And now, since there isn’t a wedding tonight…I don’t have to miss our oldest WV granddaughter’s birthday party at the bowling alley tonight!

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I’ll be back tomorrow.

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💚

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“Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.””   Genesis‬ ‭2‬:‭18‬ ‭NLT‬‬

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***Gratitude Journal***   
Today I am grateful for my sister-in-law and her family. She is Hubby #2’s little sister. I know that in some divorces, you lose your spouse’s family as well. I would have none of that nonsense. She’s been my baby sister since I met her when we visited her dorm at college and wasn’t about to let anyone or anything split me away from them unless that’s what THEY wanted. I’m so proud of them all. 
\n\n", "date_published": "2025-03-15T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2025/03/15/i-missed-the-wedding.html", "tags": ["Family","Overcoming Obstacles","Wedding"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2023/06/13/a-storybook-wedding-and-a.html", "title": "A Storybook Wedding and a Monumental Birthday", "content_html": "\n
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Photo Credit: Maddi Randolph Photography - maddirandolphphotography.com

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There is an unspoken code. One should not share certain things online until the proper time. You don’t announce the birth of a baby till the parents have. And…you definitely don’t share photos of the bride and groom until they have had a chance to catch their breath and share some photos themselves. You don’t want to step on toes or steal someone’s thunder.

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I was so honored to have a “Grandmother Corsage!”

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That being said, I made a promise. No photos on social media till I got the go ahead from our granddaughter. We didn’t have to wait long as they posted their first photo yesterday morning so I’m free to post a few…one from their amazing photographer and some of my own. Plus…Mr. FixIt took me out for dinner last night at Olive Garden. We felt like grownups! AND…I stayed under my calorie budget and that included splitting a Tiramisu with my sweetheart.

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Birthday Dinner at Olive Garden: Unlimited Soup + Salad + Tiramisu

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But first…the wedding. The bridal party got started with their day at 9:00 yesterday morning with the girls breakfast. Then hair and makeup and lunch and fun in the Bride’s Suite. In the meantime, the guys slept till 11:00 and hung out in the Groom’s Suite till it was time for photos.

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We arrived at 2:15 and family photos started around 2:45. We sat around on the porch overlooking fields and woods. There was a lovely breeze and unfortunately, I didn’t spray my hair so I had that windswept look all day. I didn’t really care and I don’t think anyone else was sitting around pointing it out. (Our younger selves might have been eaten up with that little nugget in our brains, right?)

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This was one of the biggest weddings I’ve ever been to. And our granddaughter did a wonderful job working out a complete time table. The immediate family members had their own copy and if you weren’t where you were supposed to be at the designated time, you just might not have been in the picture. Everything went like clockwork and there was no time to sit around and fret and be nervous. It was great!

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At the appointed time, we all walked down through a meadow to an area in front of the lake. There was a fountain out in the water that was framed by a unique hexagon shaped arbor adorned with a plethora of cabbage roses and peonies in soft shades from creamy white to deep pink. At a point to the left, a bridge went out to a pavilion on an island in the lake and a dock went out further still. There were so many photo worthy spots on this gorgeous property and we got our steps in checking them all out.

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The DJ had a sound system discreetly set up and soft, dreamy music entertained us as the guests arrived. Folks waved to family and friends as they found their seats and there were many who mouthed, “Isn’t this gorgeous?” Bridal rituals change like fashions and we were surprised to see each member of the bridal party come down the aisle alone. The groomsmen in tuxedos of royal blue and the bridesmaids in the softest shell pink. The dresses were all the same color and lovely flowing material, but each dress was a different style. This gave each of them their moment to shine and it didn’t add but a minute or two to the service.

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We all rose and watched my bonus son walk his first born down the aisle. They were walking right into the sun but they did their best not to squint too much. The actual ceremony was short and sweet…five minutes at the most. Which is perfectly fine, really. Five-thirty is the hottest time of the day and we were in the low 80’s at that point. There was a small table with folding fans and iced water just before you went down the aisle to your seat…a thoughtful touch.

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Photo Credit: Mr. FixIt

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After the ceremony, there were more group photos to include the newlyweds then off we went to the big building for the reception. This was definitely a social milieu with little conversation areas. There was a directory at the front of the hall with seated arrangements. Each row of long rustic farm tables were dressed with a runner of creamy white chiffon and a vine of simple greenery. Tucked in were candles and small vases with a single pink peony or a small cluster of white flowers. At the aisle of each row was a clear acrylic sign with your table number so you could easily find your seat.

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Photo Credit: The Farmer’s Daughter and Son, LTD

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There was an opening prayer by the officiant. There were the usual toasts and stories. There was a cocktail hour with a bar and finger foods. Between cocktail hour and dinner, here was a brief interruption while we went outside to catch the Golden hour…that magical hour just before the sun sets and the air turns…well…golden! Everything looks perfect in that golden light of dusk.

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Photo Credit: Mr. FixIt

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Then the dinner was served buffet style. Carved Roast Sirloin with Au Jus, Chicken Cordon Bleu, Buttered Parsley Potatoes, Caribbean Vegetables, and Greek Pasta with Roasted Vegetables. OMGosh! Everything was SO good. They cut the cake and were sweet with it…no smearing cake all over each other at this wedding.

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As soon as the cake was served, the DJ started the music and called up the bride and groom for their first dance, then father of the bride and bride, then mother of the groom and groom. Then they did the sweetest thing. They asked all married couples to come up for a special dance. After a bit, the DJ asked all who were married five years and less to be seated. Then ten, fifteen, etc. until there was one couple standing till he finally hit fifty-five and they threw their arms up in the air and laughed. Everyone cheered and they got a special picture taken with the bride and groom. 

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Photo Credit: Curt Plummer

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After that it was a free for all and everyone was dancing with everyone else. They had “bump sticks” that twinkled in the dark and glasses made of glow sticks. The music was loud and no one could hear anyone talking but who cared? I loved how they took the great songs of my generation that all us well seasoned folks would know and remixed them with the club beats that these kids were into. It was great fun and I literally danced till I couldn’t dance anymore. I thought for sure I’d have trouble walking when I got up, but I did ok. And that was the end of a beautiful storybook weekend…a day that we will remember forever and ever!

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Photo Credit: The Bride + Groom

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?

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““Your forest-drenched garments are fragrant with mountain breeze. Chamber music—from the throne room— makes you want to dance. Kings’ daughters are maids in your court, the Bride glittering with golden jewelry. * * *”

\nPsalms 45:8-9 MSG\n
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#Wedding, #LoveIsInTheAirhart, #PerfectDay

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It’s summer and you know what that means…the mermaids are out and about, splashing here and there. Better be safe and warn drivers to watch out for them at the “Mermaid Crossing!”

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Shop Now

\n\n", "date_published": "2023-06-13T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2023/06/13/a-storybook-wedding-and-a.html", "tags": ["Family","Aging","Wedding"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2023/06/10/one-down-and-one-to.html", "title": "One Down and One to Go", "content_html": "\n
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The wedding rehearsal was fun. We got to meet the bridal party…seven groomsmen, seven bridesmaids. The venue is stunning. The kids were going to get married last year, but they waited a whole year just so they could get this venue. Just wait till you see the photos!

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Dinner was at one of our favorite Italian restaurants and it was really easy to stick to my Noom program. They thoughtfully served the chicken separate from the pasta and Alfredo sauce. They had young green beans sautéed in EVO and garlic. Oven roasted potato wedges with garlic and herbs. I took some of the marinara sauce from on top of the penne to season my chicken slices. They offered a huge salad and I selected balsamic vinaigrette as my dressing. I passed on the garlic bread, the ooey-gooey cheesy dips they had as apps, and the dessert. I topped it off with a non-alcohol beer and I was one happy camper.

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The bride and I decided she’d open the quilt at the restaurant before the food was served. She just loved it and it made me heart sing!

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We got home late and thank goodness we don’t have to be at the venue till 2:15 this afternoon. We are going to fix a small cooler to take in the car so we can take breaks and have some cool fresh food and drinks. The reception goes till 11:00 but I doubt we last that long. The kids leave bright and early for their honeymoon so they won’t be up partying till the wee hours.

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So, that was my day. What’s up with you? 

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?

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“On the third day a wedding took place at Cana in Galilee. Jesus’ mother was there, and Jesus and his disciples had also been invited to the wedding. When the wine was gone, Jesus’ mother said to him, “They have no more wine.””

\nJohn 2:1-3 NIV\n
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No ads today and tomorrow…it’s WEDDING WEEKEND.

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But…you can go check out the shop!

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\n\n", "date_published": "2023-06-10T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2023/06/10/one-down-and-one-to.html", "tags": ["Family","Fun","Wedding"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/04/09/our-family-grows.html", "title": "Our Family Grows", "content_html": "\n
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We gained a son yesterday. Well, a son-in-law. My stepson-in-law, to be precise. K has been around as long as I have been in the family, but yesterday was the day they decided to exchange their vows and change their lives.

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In talking with the kids, I heard echoed back the same things Mr. FixIt and I said when WE decided to get married. We had been living together for a while and there came a point where it didn’t feel right in our hearts to continue without being married. I’m so proud of them wanting to get back into church and make things legal so they could...to use their words, “live right.”

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It was a tiny, informal wedding in the church the groom’s grandfather literally helped build. His parents were there along with the former Mrs. FixIt and the two of us. When it came time to stand up with the couple and the pastor, I elected to be the photographer. It’s not that I was excluded in any way...I was not. It was my choice to let the parents of the bride and groom have this honor. I was honored to be included in other ways and to document the moment for posterity.

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As I watched the family mingling afterwards, my heart swelled with pride for the way we have approached this situation. Too many families are destroyed by divorce. It can be contentious and ugly and I see absolutely no reason for that to be the case here. No one is taking anyone else’s place. No one is trying to one up the other. We are a true family and I am so pleased we can emulate that for our kids and grandkids.

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Divorce and remarriage is hard enough without adding dysfunction and discord. It was a beautiful day and we gained another family member. I love these kids as my own. Actually, three if you count the groom’s parents. I hadn’t had the opportunity to meet them before, and they were as sweet as could be. Since we are still in a pandemic, we elected not to go out to dinner afterwards as we haven’t had a meal inside since covid started. Instead, we will wait till summer and have a big picnic out here on the Ponderosa to serve as a reception for the kids.

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In the meantime, the rain has come and cooled things off. Unfortunately, it also has interrupted our project timeline. If anything, we’re flexible so it will all get done in due time!

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?

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“He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.”

\nProverbs 18:22 ESV\n
\n\n", "date_published": "2021-04-09T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/04/09/our-family-grows.html", "tags": ["Family","Gratitude","Wedding"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/08/03/basking-in-the-glow-of.html", "title": "Basking in the Glow of Family", "content_html": "

\"Sunset “The sun goes down on the evening before my baby’s wedding. My heart is full!”

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Last night was amazing. Every fear and trepidation I had beforehand dissipated as soon as we pulled into the driveway at Hubby #2’s house. He was so gracious, as was his wife. Their house is stunning. Their dogs are the sweetest things. Daughter #1 and her family were there when we arrived and soon after, my sister- and brother-in-law arrived from Utah. Oh, my gosh! It was so exciting to see them all!

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Just before dinner, my daughter and her fiancée arrived and we were a complete family. My brother enjoyed everyone and joined in the conversations. It really was perfect. What I learned from this: When you hand things over to God to take care of…you have to let go of it. I knew as I was driving over from Glenwood Springs…this was going to be good. This was going to be very, very good.

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After dinner, Daughter #2 came to me and said, “Mama…I have something for you to do tomorrow. You’re in charge of this…and making sure he has a seat at my wedding.”

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With that she handed me a framed photo of Mr. Virgo. She was very close to her stepfather and losing him was so hard on her. The suddenness of seeing his smiling face…so totally unexpected…took my breath away and I started crying. I wasn’t the only one. It was a very special moment and it still makes me tearful as I write this. What a beautiful gesture…what a beautiful God moment….what love…what treasures I have in this family.

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My baby is getting married today. My heart is so full! Thank you Jesus for every gift you have given me in this life!

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❤️

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“Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame. Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot sweep it away. If one were to give all the wealth of one’s house for love, it would be utterly scorned.”\n

Song of Songs 8:6-7 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2019-08-03T01:30:27-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/08/03/basking-in-the-glow-of.html", "tags": ["Faith","Colorado","Family","Travel","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Courage","Choices","Be Joyful!","Widow","Marriage","Wedding"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/08/02/no-worse-for-the-wear.html", "title": "No Worse for the Wear", "content_html": "

\"Old “While once sleek and shiny, these vehicles still hold a deep beauty.”

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We left Ridgway yesterday saying goodbye to our friends, Linda and Jim. We both choked up…goodbyes have always been difficult for me ever since I lost Mr. Virgo. We just don’t know if and when we will meet again and it tears at my heartstrings. I know Linda loves Colorado, but deep down, she has that Ohio farm girl in there somewhere. I loved watching her as she listened to Mr. FixIt’s unmistakable West Virginia accent and she was transported back over the years and the miles to the home of her youth.

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Even though we didn’t go to the same high school with Linda, we know many of the same people…one of whom is Jeff. He and his wife Julie moved to the Ridgway area a couple of years ago. It’s funny how the webs of friendship cross over. Linda and Jeff were both friends with Cindy (a girl from my class) and that’s how they connected. I am friends with Cindy and that’s how Linda connected with me and the connection with Jeff was made through Linda and because he was on the boy’s gymnastics team while I competed with the girl’s team the same year. And….Mr. FixIt was on that same team with Jeff! See what a teeny tiny world it is? Jeff and Julie joined us for dinner at Linda’s Wednesday night. Mr. FixIt hadn’t seen Jeff in forty-eight years. There were lots of stories and laughs and we all had a grand time.

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We drove north out of Ridgway, through Montrose and Olathe (home of Olathe Sweet Corn) and on to Delta. I kept my eyes peeled for a place I found when I was on “The Grand Adventure”…that three month odyssey into the wilderness and backroads after Mr. Virgo died. It’s just a vacant lot on the main drag that’s filled with old, broken down cars and trucks. I don’t know why it attracted me that first time, but I couldn’t wait to show Mr. FixIt.

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We were almost to our turnoff to head east over McClure Pass when I saw them. Red vehicles…either from the faded and flaked paint or the rust beneath. Some had their hoods strapped down. Others had holes in the glass from years of being the target of vandals or the errant stone thrown back in the day when they motored down the highways of old. Mr. FixIt caught his breath.

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“Oh, wow! Would you look at that!” A smile crept across his face and his eyes sparkled like a little boy who just found the coolest treasure stuck on a dusty shelf. I immediately pulled over and threw the truck in park. We jumped out and walked up and down the rows of derelict automobiles resting on their rims because of long ago rotted and airless tires. We peeked in through hazy windows at the scraps of stuffing clinging to the old and rusted springs of the seats inside. 

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“Oh, look! Is that a Nash? A Studebaker? What’s this one? Ford used to make a Cortina. Do you suppose that’s what this one is?” This went on and on as we dodged the large mud holes formed from the afternoon storms we’ve been getting and made our way through the maze of cars.

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As I looked at these rusted out hulks, I thought about beauty being in the eye of the beholder. I have to be perfectly honest…I’ve had some trepidation about the wedding this weekend. My daughter’s dad lives in a world I no longer belong to. He’s a doctor, and consequently lives like a doctor in a fine house. With fine friends. And a fine wife. Fine furnishings. Fine food. A fine life. I used to circle in that orbit, although I never really felt a part of that world, although I tried very hard to make myself fit in. 

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I have to admit. I’ve let myself be a little self conscious about my comfortable tummy and my jelly thighs and my granny-wing upper arms knowing ever so painfully how that was judged by those in that orbit. I’ve been praying about it a lot. And God whispered to me as I wandered amongst these vehicles what were once sleek and shiny and new.

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“You don’t have to fear that world. You don’t have to feel bad for the way you fit in your body all comfy-like. You don’t have to concern yourself with what anyone else thinks of you….just remember I love you. Completely. Just the way you are. Just love them all the way I love you.”

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You see…the very act of feeling self conscious and judged puts me in a place where I’m being the judge. I don’t know what’s in their hearts and minds. A lot of water has gone under the bridge since those days so long ago when I circled around that orbit. It’s a foreign land to me now. I have no reason to feel “less than” anyone. I can walk right in, on the arm of a man I adore and who adores me right back. We’ve created a life that fits us perfectly and we’re perfectly happy.

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It’s all about love, trust, letting go, and letting God take care of the details. I’m comfortable in this life, this body…no matter where I go or who I run into. None of this is about me anyway. It’s totally about my daughter and her joy anyway. Yes…it’s all about love!

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❤️

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“Yet you, Lord, are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand. Do not be angry beyond measure, Lord; do not remember our sins forever. Oh, look on us, we pray, for we are all your people.”    Isaiah 64:8-9 NIV
\n \n", "date_published": "2019-08-02T01:30:06-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/08/02/no-worse-for-the-wear.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Travel","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Positive Energy","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Courage","Aging","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!","Widow","Wedding"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/07/13/revisiting-memories.html", "title": "Revisiting Memories", "content_html": "

\"Drum “Daughter #2…Marching to her own drum!”

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When Daughter #2 was thirteen years old, she and I took off for a three week road trip. It was epic. She was not only in that early teenager mode. We were also working on repairing the damage done from years of depression and too many prescriptions and martinis…not to mention the overdose. It took a lot out of our relationship.

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When I arrived in Denver this visit, the ultimate goal is the wedding. My baby is getting married. My little Moon Pie. Only, she’s a full grown woman…out on her own…thriving…dancing to her own drum, as always. We saw each other  the day after I got here and spent several hours visiting and dining out. She made me promise we would do one special thing…just the two of us…before the wedding.

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She wanted to go antiquing.

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I couldn’t believe my ears. Antiquing? This poor kid was dragged, kicking and screaming, into every antique store in West Virginia, I think. And several between there and Colorado. I loved going to antique stores. She did not. So, this was new. I asked her what brought on this miraculous transformation. 

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“I don’t know. Just…suddenly, I find myself looking at antiques online. For fun.”

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Ladies and gentleman…there IS life after adolescence!!!

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So, yesterday was our antiquing adventure. We started out by having lunch with Daughter #1, Big, and Little. Oh…if you have children, you know what that did to my heart…sitting there with my Colorado kids! ❤️melt After lunch, Daughter #2 and I went to the Brass Armadillo off I-70 and Kipling.

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We walked in and she stopped in her tracks. Her eyes widened, her mouth dropped open, and she gasped.

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“This place is HUGE!”

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Yes, my girl…it is!

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We wandered around for three hours. She kept grabbing my arm and pulling me over to see this or that. Lots of oooohs and aaaahs and wows. Several times she wrapped her arms around me and hugged me tight and thanked me so much for doing this with her. That’s when I realized…this was SO much more than going to see a bunch of old stuff.

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This was a celebration. Of healing. Of love. Of warm memories shared. Even of forgiveness. This was a bonding ritual…something only she and I could share as the wedding rapidly approaches and her life is forever changed. This was incredibly special. And we enjoyed every minute of it. 

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We didn’t get to see 1/4th of the store before we were both fried. We left arm in arm and headed out to the truck. I drove her back to her car. As she prepared to leave she reached over and kissed me on the cheek.

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“Thank you, mamacita. That was so much fun!”

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You’re welcome, Moon Pie.

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❤️

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“Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him.”\n

Psalm 127:3 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2019-07-13T01:30:54-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/07/13/revisiting-memories.html", "tags": ["Health","Family","Travel","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Fun","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Aging","Presence","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!","Widow","Wedding"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/05/28/praying-for-others.html", "title": "Praying for Others", "content_html": "

\"Praying “Praying for others is the key to freedom.”

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As time passes, my daughter’s wedding is looming in the forefront of my mind. What to wear? Well, I’ve bought three dresses…so far. It depends what suits me that day, I think. The event seems to be fast and loose so I’m not terribly worried about that part. 

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As I headed into this, the idea of being the mother of the bride…for the last time really…filled me with delicious anticipation mixed with bits of trepidation. Her father and I have mended a lot of fences over the years and I am so proud of the way we can demonstrate good behaviors for our kids and grandkids. Long gone are the angry jabs at each other over a love gone awry.

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I overcame the majority of the pain, anger, and resentment through fervent prayer and good therapy. Prayer was my tool. I prayed my family would be healed. I prayed the father of my child would find joy and happiness with the woman he chose. The more I prayed for HIM, the happier I became.

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That being said, the enemy loves to sneak in and tell me lies. He loves to remind me I’ve gained a few pounds and my ex-husband will notice. He loves to make me second guess myself and be self conscious of my body and my dress choice. He loves to whisper in my ear and tell me if I would have been a better wife, that great big estate my ex owns could have been mine.

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Lies. They are all lies. I could have been the best wife in the history of the universe and the marriage could have still fallen apart. I’m not taking 100% of that one. I’ll comfortably accept my 50%. If I even consider my weight as being something my ex would judge me for, I’m setting myself up for failure and disappointment. 

\n

Here’s the thing…if we look for something, we WILL find it. If I look for judgement, I’ll feel judged. If I look for criticism, I’ll feel criticized…even if it’s subconsciously. And, as soon as I feel those things, I’ll react defensively. That whole scenario is a totally no win situation. Nothing good can come from that.

\n

Recently I read about a technique for recognizing the cycle of anxiety and stopping it in its tracks. The premise is, as soon as you feel the very first sensations of anxiety…even if it’s just the thought of feeling anxious…you pull back and become the observer. Recognize what is happening and say to yourself…”Hmmmm, that’s interesting. I’m having a feeling that stemmed from a thought. It is just a thought.” Then, you picture surrounding that thought in a bubble, reach out, and poke it with your finger.

\n

Poof!

\n

When you can recognize what anxiety really is, it’s much easier to step back, give it a poke, and send it on it’s way. It has been working quite well in the last few months. One would think, at the ripe age of 66 (in about three weeks), I’d have gotten a handle on anxiety long before now. Sometimes it’s the fear of having an anxiety attack that brings it on. It’s crazy…but it’s quite real.

\n

This wedding isn’t about me. His house isn’t about me. My weight isn’t even completely about me in that it was caused by taking steroids twice this year. I’m the only me I have. I am the only mom my kids have. The only Nana for my grands. I am my husband’s queen. He will think I am scrumptious no matter what I’m wearing or where I sit. 

\n

This is such a relief…to let go of fear. The fear of rejection. The fear of not being good enough. The fear of doing or saying something wrong. 

\n

I am enough. I have always been enough.

\n

 Dang…I love my sixties!

\n

❤️

\n
“But the moment one turns to the Lord with an open heart, the veil is lifted and they see. Now, the “Lord” I’m referring to is the Holy Spirit, and wherever he is Lord, there is freedom.”\n

2 Corinthians 3:16-17 TPT

\n", "date_published": "2019-05-28T01:30:31-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/05/28/praying-for-others.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Aging","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!","Marriage","Wedding"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/05/18/quilting-and-thunderstorms.html", "title": "Quilting and Thunderstorms", "content_html": "

\"Quilting\" “Sewing a quilt for my daughter’s wedding gift. The finished top below. Now it will be machine quilted.”

\n

I was trying to remember the last time I made a quilt. I do believe it was a wedding gift for Daughter #1. They’ve been married 24 years this July! So, it’s been a long, long time. Twenty-four years ago, I had a lot more patience doing piece work than I do now. I made a beautiful king sized quilt in an intricately pieced pattern. It took me a long time to make the quilt top and I knew I would never get a quilt that big hand quilted in time for the wedding. I had heard about Cabin Creek Quilters so I took it there to see if anyone could quilt it for me.

\n

The lovely lady in the fabric room in a house WAY up a single track dirt road up a narrow holler was kind enough to do it for me. I picked it up the following summer when I came to West Virginia for a visit. I asked her what I owed her and she said $100! I refused to pay her that. I paid her $200 and that was a bargain.

\n

The quilt for Daughter #2’s wedding is different. I used precut 10” squares and decided the machine quilting would be the showpiece. Their colors are purple and green. I finished the quilt top yesterday and left it with the shop owner. She will sandwich the batting and backing fabric and sew on the binding. I’ll finish the hand-stitching on the binding myself. 

\n

While I was at the shop, I saw some really cute fabric with little campers on it. I’m going to make a throw with it. I don’t know if I’ll make another quilt with an intricate pattern again, but I might. It was really fun to sit at the quilt shop and sew all afternoon. It was reminiscent of my little needlework shop when the gals would come sit and stitch all day on Wednesdays. Those were wonderful memories.

\n

It rained terribly hard yesterday afternoon and it made the humidity go up to 90% last night. Today is supposed to get up to 89 degrees. I think I could live at 72 degrees year round and be perfectly happy. At least the basement didn’t leak! All that rain brought out the frogs. We had them calling in the yard all night. I love the night sounds here. Night before last there was a whippoorwill on the old TV antenna over our bedroom window. Believe me, they aren’t as pleasant to hear incessantly nearby as they are off in the distance. 

\n

I hope you have a wonderful weekend!

\n

❤️

\n
“Yet he has not left himself without testimony: He has shown kindness by giving you rain from heaven and crops in their seasons; he provides you with plenty of food and fills your hearts with joy.””    Acts 14:17 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2019-05-18T01:30:21-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/05/18/quilting-and-thunderstorms.html", "tags": ["Family","Positive Energy","Fun","West Virginia","Gratitude","Love","Peace","Be Joyful!","Wedding"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/03/22/mother-of-the-bride.html", "title": "Mother of the Bride", "content_html": "

\"Purple “I am hoping this is the one!”

\n

The last time I was a Mother of the Bride was in 1995. It’s been a while. I’m an entirely different person this time around than I was when my older daughter got married. I was a hyper-involved helicopter mom back then. Just ask my daughter. She will tell you that she really had very little to do with her wedding because it was MY party. Many years of therapy later, I can now see that I lived the life I wished I’d had vicariously through her. I had terrible stage fright. She was in theater. SO cool! I wasn’t popular or athletic enough to be a cheerleader. She was. Uber awesome! She had cool friends that I got to hang out with. She got to go to college and live in a dorm! I was positively green with envy. She married the first young man she met in college and they were (and still are) perfect for each other. I wanted the fairy tail life she had. She loved me because I was her mom. But she hated me all the same. And I don’t blame her.

\n

As her little sister, sixteen years her junior, was growing up, I can’t count the times Daughter #1 huffed at me because she wasn’t allowed to do this or that like her little sister. “She gets away with murder!” “You would have killed me if I did that!” She’s right, of course. I was already too tired to fly that helicopter over the young one and I had a crapload of my own issues by that time. Siblings are different anyway…but the difference between these two is remarkable.

\n

Consequently, I am hardly involved with Daughter #2’s wedding. For one thing, I live on the other side of the country. For another thing, she and her fiancée have incredibly eclectic taste and their’s will hardly resemble a traditional wedding. I’m just tickled to pieces she has found someone whose beat matches her own. I’m happy to show up with a smile and stand where she tells me. This is going to chap her sister’s hide, I can assure you. But it is what it is.

\n

I am actually going to be the Co-Matron of Honor at this wedding…a position I will happily share with her BFF, Lizzie. When I asked my daughter what she wanted me to wear, she said she didn’t really care as long as it was in the colors they chose for the occasion. Royal Purple and Hunter Green. I laughed and thought maybe I could wear Gold Lame and we could throw beads and pretend it’s Mardi Gras! You can clearly see my thinking is different now than in the ‘90s. 

\n

I chose to go with purple instead of the dark green. For one reason, the green just sounded way too hot to me and this little soirée takes place the first weekend in August. Also, I look better in purple. And, it’s a little bit easier to find appropriate attire this time of year if you look for spring colors. 

\n

I’ve been scouring the dress shops in our little burg and the selection is somewhat limited. I really don’t want to spend a boat load of money on a dress I will more than likely only wear once and since she doesn’t really care, I’ll go the least expensive route. I’ve scanned the internet and finally found this dress. I like it. It will hide a multitude of self-perceived “flaws” in case I don’t lose as much weight as I would like…a task I am hard-pressed to accomplish if I continue to eat pizza like I did as I wrote this. I did break one of my cardinal rules ordering this dress. I believe it is coming from one of those foreign clothing manufacturers and I have no idea if it will look anything like the picture. It was less than $40 so I’m not getting my hopes up, but if it’s a fiasco I’m not out a ton of money. I’ll let you know if/when I receive it.

\n

In the meantime, the plans continue, my smile is ready, and it will be a beautiful day.

\n

❤️

\n
“We are careful to be honorable before the Lord, but we also want everyone else to see that we are honorable.”    2 Corinthians 8:21 NLT
\n", "date_published": "2019-03-22T01:30:19-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/03/22/mother-of-the-bride.html", "tags": ["Family","Overcoming Obstacles","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Wisdom","Humbled","Choices","Wedding"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/02/14/on-lovingunconditionally.html", "title": "On Loving...Unconditionally", "content_html": "

\"A “I am a Christian AND I love everyone… unconditionally.”

\n

The other day, a West Virginia delegate made a series of ugly and disparaging comments about the LGBTQ community. He compared them to terrorists and the Ku Klux Klan. He was interviewed later and given an opportunity to clarify his position, and it was actually SO much worse than what was originally reported. When asked what he would do if his son or daughter came home and told him they were gay, the delegate said if it was his daughter, he would take her for a pedicure. If it was his son, he would take him hunting. And if, upon their return, they still said they were gay…he would take them out and “see if they could swim”. The interviewer was aghast and asked, “Are you saying, you would take them out and try to drown them???” He just looked at her with a sinister grin and didn’t answer.

\n

I was sickened, on so many levels. First and foremost, that he has this kind of hatred in his heart and calls himself a Christian. Second, that he would turn away from his children, or worse…do them physical harm. And, finally…it HAD to be a West Virginian. Why did he have to come from MY state? The answer is, because there are people like him in every state.

\n

Here of late, I have been so uplifted and fortified by my faith, I have been shouting “Hallelujah!” from the rooftops. And that’s how I feel…excited by the ways I see God move in my life. Excited about the opportunities to share my stories of his love and provenance. Then, this week…I received this wedding invitation. And I was reminded, I may be giving people the wrong idea about who I am in my faith.

\n

Some people may equate my bold Christian joy with the kind of person who denigrates those who are unlike them, like that delegate from West Virginia. Nothing could be further from the truth. I do not discriminate against anyone. I’m not perfect, but I certainly try to emulate Jesus at every turn. He loves everyone. He does not see people from the outside. He looks at their hearts. After raising my daughters in the Jewish faith, I was appalled when Daughter #2 came home from school crying because the kids called her a “stupid f****** Jew”. I held her close and tried to explain ignorance and intolerance and bigotry. It broke my heart. 

\n

I respect all faiths, save for those who kill people in the name of their god. I respect all people, save for those who kill or maim or injure children or animals. When I raise my voice in praise for Jesus, I don’t want it to exclude my love for others who don’t believe as I do. I don’t want to walk ahead of and ignore the one who is still looking for God. I don’t want the Muslims and the Jews and the Seiks and the Hindus and even the atheists…anyone of any faith…to think I do not love them equally. I look for, and see, the God in all people. That divine spark that comes from somewhere far beyond the stars. That sign of something far greater than any of us here. 

\n

I also embrace the LGBTQ community as my fellow human beings, who house that same divine spark as me. It is not my place to judge anyone…not even that delegate from West Virginia. Everyone will be judged by their maker in the end. It’s not my job. At the same time, I’m going to tell you about this amazing Jesus who rules my life. And, I’m going to show you, as best I can by the way that I live, how a good and loving and forgiving Father has changed me. The two can, and in my humble opinion SHOULD walk hand in hand.

\n

Because, you see…that wedding invitation we got in the mail this week? That’s from Daughter #2 and her fiancée…a very kind and loving woman who has helped my baby become a better version of herself. They are getting married in Colorado in August. They love each other completely… unconditionally. How can I not do the same with both of them? This is my child. We love who we love. It is not my place to judge. You may do what you wish, but I do pray I will always, always, always land on the side of love. Because that is the way Jesus loves me.

\n

***If you don’t agree with me, that’s ok…I won’t judge you either. I know this is a hot topic for some, but this is my house, my rules. We speak with respect here. This is a case where we’ll take my grandma’s advise…”If we can’t say anything nice, we won’t say anything at all.” ❤️

\n
“As for the one who is weak in faith, welcome him, but not to quarrel over opinions. One person believes he may eat anything, while the weak person eats only vegetables. Let not the one who eats despise the one who abstains, and let not the one who abstains pass judgment on the one who eats, for God has welcomed him. Who are you to pass judgment on the servant of another? It is before his own master that he stands or falls. And he will be upheld, for the Lord is able to make him stand.”\n

Romans 14:1-4 ESV

\n", "date_published": "2019-02-14T02:30:27-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/02/14/on-lovingunconditionally.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Hope","Positive Energy","Fun","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Choices","Be Joyful!","Marriage","Wedding"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/11/10/the-decision-process.html", "title": "The Decision Process", "content_html": "

\"Wedding “The decision on wedding bands was a process. I wanted exactly the right ones!”

\n

Mr. FixIt proposed to me last year. We both knew from the beginning this relationship was going to be special. We both knew we had found the one. So, it was never a matter of “if”. It was always a matter of “when”. 

\n

You know, if you’ve been around a while…I knew I wanted to be with this man for all eternity. But I wasn’t quite sure I wanted to be married again. After all, I’d already been married three times. The first was too young. The second was too long. And the third was cut short by his untimely death. I wasn’t sure I could live through that again. And…I was afraid of losing my widow’s benefits. 

\n

So, we lived together and it bothered my heart. My faith tells me that is a sin. I prayed and asked God to speak to me through my Pastor if He had a message directly for me. The Pastor spent the next nine months delivering message after message that what we were doing was wrong. It happened SO many times, I could no longer deny the truth. After speaking with my faith mentors, I asked God to give me a sign. 

\n

I knew He would always provide for me, but I asked if I would lose my benefits if I remarried. Immediately I heard, “Well, Google it!” So, I did…and as long as I married after the age of 60, I would NOT. That was all I needed to know and I shared the good news with my beloved. 

\n

We married just a month later. When Mr. FixIt gave me my engagement ring, he knew my stance on marriage so we never went out to buy a wedding band. As a matter of fact, my ring was not part of a set so there wasn’t a band to go with it. The ring has an odd shape and really needs a custom made wedding band to sit flush with it. 

\n

When we set the date, I told Mr. FixIt I didn’t really NEED a wedding ring. I could just wear the engagement ring alone and be good. But the closer we got to the wedding, the more I regretted that decision. I really WANTED a band to symbolize the two events separately. The week before the wedding, I bought a simple, straight band with little diamonds. I have to admit, I didn’t choose what I really wanted. I went with what was less expensive. 

\n

The wedding was lovely. My ring sat on my hand for the next several days. But every time I looked at it, I remembered the other one. It wasn’t THAT much more expensive. I kept going back to the jeweler and visiting the ring. Finally, I made the decision and traded in the straight band for the curved one that sat up against the engagement ring like it was made for it. 

\n

I loved it. And still, something was missing. It didn’t seem finished, symmetrical. That’s when I decided to use money I’ve made from my writing and buy a second band for myself to sit on the other side. And now? I absolutely LOVE it. It looks polished. Complete. Like it was made to be this way. 

\n

I was talking with my camping friend, Janine about it and she said this. “It’s not like you’re picking out a winter coat. This is your wedding band. God willing, you will be wearing this the rest of your life. Get the one that makes your heart sing.” It only LOOKS extravagant but I still got an amazing deal on it. (I always go for a sale!) So, these are the rings that represent our love and commitment and I am so happy to wear them. They do make my heart sing! ❤️

\n
“So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”  Matthew 19:6 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2018-11-10T02:30:16-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/11/10/the-decision-process.html", "tags": ["Gratitude","Love","Presence","Choices","Change","Wedding"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/10/23/my-west-virginia-sisters.html", "title": "My West Virginia Sisters", "content_html": "

\"Girlfriends “My West Virginia sisters.”

\n

I didn’t have a sister growing up. I had girl cousins that meant the world to me. I had sister friends in high school that were very important to me. Then life got in the way and I lived in England for two years, then Colorado for forty. Sometimes I would see high school friends when I came to WV for family visit. And we would touch base and reminisce at high school reunions. But it wasn’t until I moved back home that I developed a tight network of girlfriends who are as close as family.

\n

When I first returned to my hometown, I asked a friend how often the girls get together for coffee…assuming they, like me, gathered with other women at least monthly…if not weekly. I was dismayed when I found out this wasn’t a “thing” here. I was sad for all those potential relationships that had fallen by the wayside. I thought of all the events in a lifetime that hadn’t been shared…all the times when support was needed that only a really good girlfriend can provide. So, I set out to introduce my gal pals to the joys of coffee.

\n

Not coffee, literally…but “coffee” as in a gathering for talk therapy and laughter and sharing and support. I’m happy to say we get together monthly at a historic hotel and kibbutz. We have become so close and we all look forward to seeing each other at least once a month. Sometimes more.

\n

I was thrilled so many of our classmates could come to our wedding. And to have the ‘71 Divas join us was icing on the proverbial cake. Our photographer, Elizabeth Adams, had so much fun taking our pictures and she did an excellent job in capturing the joy and love and laughter of the day. Here’s my favorite picture of me and the Divas admiring my turquoise boots. What a hoot! I love these gals! ❤️

\n

“Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.”  Proverbs 13:20 NIV

\n", "date_published": "2018-10-23T01:30:37-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/10/23/my-west-virginia-sisters.html", "tags": ["Family","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Fun","West Virginia","Gratitude","Love","Aging","Wedding"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/10/21/live-a-good-life.html", "title": "Live a Good Life", "content_html": "

\"Autumn “Live a Good Life”

\n

When we were decorating the tent for the wedding, I went around the house, the buildings, and the farm looking for decor I could use. There was so much more I could have put out there, but frankly, I realized we were just going to have to haul it all back into the house afterwards. I decided to just keep it simple. 

\n

I was standing in the kitchen giving some last minute directions to my wonderful friend, Charlotte, when I looked up above the kitchen sink and saw this sign. I took it down and handed it to Mr. FixIt and said, “This goes out by the front of the tent to greet our guests!” It’s our daily reminder to “Live a Good Life.”

\n

This has been the busiest, jam packed week we have had since we started dating. So much has happened, I’ve really just started processing it all. Aside from the changes that come with marriage, and the death of a dear family member, something else has been rattling around in my head wanting attention.

\n

It wasn’t so much what WAS there. It was more…what WASN’T there. Namely, that dogged undercurrent of grief that has simmered just beneath the surface of my life for the last 2,049 days. I know grief is not something you “get over”. I know it’s something you “get through”. It is something you learn to walk around without falling into that giant hole in your heart. It is something you learn to deal with in time. I honestly had no idea it would change with the commitment of another marriage. 

\n

It seems the act of marrying has caused a…shift in the force, so to speak. Maybe it’s the high of the wedding itself, but I don’t think so. Maybe it’s a gift from God for being obedient. Maybe it’s a natural progression of things when significant life changes occur. Maybe it’s just the Evolution of Grief. 

\n

When there are significant milestones in life, like your child’s wedding, or the birth of a grandchild, and your person isn’t there, it causes their death to come front and center. You think about how much he would have loved to see that. How much your son or daughter misses their dad. How your grandchild will never know that grandparent. It reminds you of an emptiness. 

\n

That was totally missing last weekend.

\n

Oh, I thought of Mr. Virgo that day. Of course I did. I even had a quiet moment before the wedding when I silently thanked him for having been in my life. However, I wouldn’t have been getting married that day if he were still alive. And, I love Mr. FixIt SO much. I can’t imagine my life without him. It wasn’t like I had to say to myself, “Don’t think of Mr. Virgo!” He just…wasn’t there.

\n

That kind of surprised me, actually. Because, like I said, I honestly didn’t know what to expect. It’s never occurred to me to ask other widows who have remarried how it affected their grief. So, like I’ve done from the beginning, I feel what I feel and I write about it. The feeling has persisted all week. Mr. Virgo is still here, but he’s standing much further away. Because…just as I stepped out the door to walk across the field and marry my sweet Mr. FixIt, I looked up and told Mr. Virgo…”Don’t worry about me now. I’ve got this!” ❤️

\n

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”  Proverbs 3:5-6 NIV

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2018-10-21T01:30:04-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/10/21/live-a-good-life.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","God","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Change","Wedding"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/10/17/here-comes-the-bride.html", "title": "Here Comes the Bride", "content_html": "

\"Bride\" “One of my favorite moments…locking eyes with a fellow widow whom I mentored…knowing we BOTH have found our second-chance loves.”

\n

It all went so fast. Here we are, just a few days after the wedding and I don’t remember all the details. That happens to every bride, I think. You throw so much into the planning, and so many last minute details happen the day of the wedding. Friends and family came at 2:00 to help me get ready. The ceremony was at 4:00. The girls were still messing with my hair when I asked the time. 3:20! I still hadn’t put on make up or dressed!

\n

I don’t wear a lot of make up ordinarily…and when I do, it’s not much. Throwing that on was no big deal. I slipped on my boots and my new daughter and granddaughter helped me into my dress. In no time at all, I was ready. The music wasn’t. I told them I didn’t care…I’d walk out singing “Here Comes the Bride” if I had to…I was ready….REALLY ready!

\n

They helped me out to the tent…one carrying my train…the other hoping for the music to start. And, it did! Just as I got to the tent, I looked up and there was my sweet friend, Deneene. She was one of what looked like a whole sea of smiles and cell phones pointed at me. I looked at her with a knowing smile. You see, Deneene was referred to me when she was a relatively new widow herself. I was a couple of years ahead of her. I mentored her for the next couple of years. I was for her what I wished I’d had. Someone who had recently walked the path and could relate. Someone who could say this is perfectly normal. Someone to hold out a hand…not to pat it, but to offer a lift up. Then, Deneene met HER new love. And we walked this new territory together. She caught that knowing look in this picture. I think it is one of my favorites. Because I’m looking at another widow in love. I’m looking at my friend that helped me as much as I helped her. I’m looking at hope and joy and strength and perseverance and courage and reflecting it all back.

\n

We all are nothing more than the sum of our life experiences. I was ready to marry…every time I married. But I didn’t know then what I know now. Now I know what love is. I know how fragile life is. I know how to face the unimaginable and still live. I know how to live alone when it’s impossible to breathe. I know how rare it is to find someone so incredibly compatible. I know SO much more than I knew when I married Mr. Virgo. This man, this love, this marriage will reap the benefits of that knowledge and experience. I am so grateful to be where I am today. It is only through God’s grace and love that I found my way through the darkness. There may still be darkness ahead…but now there is hope. ❤️

\n

“And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen.”

\n

1 Peter 5:10-11 NIV

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2018-10-17T01:30:13-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/10/17/here-comes-the-bride.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Hope","Positive Energy","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Wisdom","Courage","Peaceful Moments","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!","Wedding"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/10/14/introducingmr-mrs-fixit.html", "title": "Introducing....Mr. \u0026 Mrs. FixIt", "content_html": "

\"Wedding “Introducing Mr. and Mrs. FixIt!”

\n

Oh my, what a perfect day!!! I prayed it wouldn’t be too hot. It didn’t break 50 degrees even though the last two weeks have been in the high eighties. I prayed there wouldn’t be bugs. It was cool to the point of being downright brisk so…no bugs!!! I prayed the pulled pork would be moist. It was succulent and juicy. There was a small hiccup with the music but just when I decided to walk in unaccompanied, it kicked in. It didn’t rain…or snow. My hair cooperated. It truly was a perfect day!

\n

When I asked Mr. FixIt what his favorite part of the wedding was, he said “When I saw you walking toward me.” I know this is true because when I got up to him he just looked and me and said, “Whoa!” Everyone laughed and I knew…this was as close to the perfect moment we may ever get when we are on this earth. And now, as I’m writing this, I realize how exhausted I am. I have a kitchen full of things needing cleaned. But, I have really great cake and pulled pork leftovers. 

\n

Really. Perfect. Day. ❤️

\n

“Even more than all this, clothe yourself in love. Love is what holds you all together in perfect unity.”

\n

Colossians 3:14 NCV

\n", "date_published": "2018-10-14T01:30:41-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/10/14/introducingmr-mrs-fixit.html", "tags": ["West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Fear","Forgiveness","Courage","Peaceful Moments","Downsizing","Change","Wedding"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/10/13/sparkles-and-sunshine.html", "title": "Sparkles and Sunshine", "content_html": "

\"Sparkly “My fancy earrings from Daughter #2…perfect for the wedding!”

\n
“Always be humble, gentle, and patient, accepting each other in love. You are joined together with peace through the Spirit, so make every effort to continue together in this way.”  Ephesians 4:2-3 NCV
\nOur good friends, Dianne and Bobby came over to the Ponderosa yesterday and helped us decorate the tent for the wedding. We moved the forty bails of hay and made rows of seating. We strung five hundred white twinkle lights above. We set up the serving tables and hung the cross at the front. We have the extra bales out front and I finally found a use for these two pieces of rustic decorative fencing I’ve had for years. The quilts are all in plastic tubs to keep from gathering moisture. The pulled pork goes in a slow oven in the morning and the fried chicken goes in the smoker to heat up.\n

The soft drinks and water are already in the big galvanized washtubs chilling outdoors overnight and ice will be added in the afternoon. My sweet friend Deneene came from South Carolina and arrived at 4:30. We went to town to fill up two big propane tanks for TOW-Wanda because I ran out of propane in the middle of the night. It was REALLY cold by morning! We dropped the tanks back off at the Ponderosa then we went to the farm to get Mr. FixIt’s white dinner jacket. As I was leaving I saw my mom’s quilt peeking out from under a stack of linens and grabbed it. I also brought the big box of fireworks we bought for the wedding. 

\n

And now, the day is here. I found a bag with a bunch of jewelry in it when I was at the farm yesterday. Last night I was showing my friend Deneene something in the bag and ran across these earrings. Daughter #2 bought me these for Christmas many years ago. I never had an occasion to wear time so they have been tucked away in a safe place…just waiting for the most special occasion. I sent my daughter this picture and asked if she remembered these. I told her I finally have a special occasion to wear them. You’re supposed to have something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue. I haven’t borrowed anything yet, but the center stone in these earrings is the palest ice blue topaz, they’re old in that I’ve had them for years and they’re new in that I have never worn them. My daughter said that made her all fuzzy inside. I wish my girls could be here. But we will celebrate when we get to Colorado next. 

\n

Today! TODAY!!! I’m marrying my best friend today. The sweetest man on the planet. I’ve never been more ready, more prepared. 

\n

“Thank you, Jesus…for every gift, every blessing, every friend and family member. Bless those who cannot join us today. Bless my cousin Tom and his wife Suzy as he fights the ravages of mesothelioma. Bless my Uncle Bud and cousins as they sit with their wife and mother as she inches toward her final journey home. And Bless all these wonderful people who come here to read about how You impact my life. Lord, thank you for the gift of love from Mr. Virgo. Thank you for letting lightning strike twice and bringing me Mr FixIt. This is a love affair for the ages!

\n

And, as always…To God be the Glory.

\n

Amen”

\n

❤️

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2018-10-13T01:30:02-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/10/13/sparkles-and-sunshine.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Fun","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!","Starting Over","Wedding"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/10/12/the-side-effects-of-obedience.html", "title": "The Side Effects of Obedience", "content_html": "

\"Sunset\" “Sunset over the Ponderosa.”

\n
“And love means living the way God commanded us to live. As you have heard from the beginning, his command is this: Live a life of love.”  2 John 1:6 NCV
\nI went to small group from church last night. We have a fall series and a spring series of meetings. There are different groups to fill different needs and we are all encouraged to join a small group. In a huge church, it’s difficult to feel a bond with individual members of the church family. Small group gives us the chance to make friends, learn from God’s Word, and experience fellowship. I love the gals in my small group. We always have great discussions and we always share praises and prayers at the end.\n

It’s been four weeks since Mr. FixIt and I decided to get married and set the date. Four weeks since I made the decision to live separately from him till the wedding. Even though I came back to the Ponderosa last week, I’ve been staying in TOW-Wanda. I was chatting with the gals at small group about it and got to thinking on the drive home about how this exercise has changed me.

\n

First…I just FEEL different. It’s hard to describe. I feel honorable. Obedient. Peaceful. Good…in that good way you feel when you have done the right thing. It wasn’t easy. And it wasn’t necessarily comfortable. Some didn’t understand why I was doing this. That offered me the opportunity to share. I’ve had the opportunity to pray with others over this. I have even been an example to one woman who had a thought then heard my testimony and realized God was answering her question.

\n

Sometimes the decision to be obedient to God has as much to do with the people in your path as it does to you yourself. God orchestrates our lives and places us where He needs us. We miss the opportunity to experience the blessings from that if we choose to ignore the prodding, the poking, the whispering of the Holy Spirit. I’m really glad I’ve done this. It has given our wedding a new depth and meaning. 

\n

The whole time I lived here before this, Mr. FixIt always talked about this being “our house”. And, while we did make some changes and redecorated, try as I might…I couldn’t get past considering it HIS house. Now, one of the side effects of my obedience is seeing this place as our home. Not HIS house…our HOME. Big difference. 

\n

Yesterday was rainy and we just did some things around the house. I picked up my wedding band from the jeweler. It is purposefully different. When I tried it on, my mind flashed back to my last wedding band. I smiled. 

\n

Mr. FixIt shampooed carpets. I took the pulled pork out of the freezer and put it into the fridge in the garage to thaw. We sat down and made some lists. We have friends coming today to help decorate the tent and whatever else we need to do. Mr. FixIt will go to town and pick up some food items we need for the reception. I have to run to the farm because we left his white dinner jacket out there. 

\n

We are organized. We are (fairly) rested and relaxed. And, we are SO excited!

\n

OMGosh! You guys….TOMORROW!!!!! ❤️

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2018-10-12T01:30:03-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/10/12/the-side-effects-of-obedience.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Positive Energy","TOW-Wanda!","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Choices","Change","Wedding"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/10/11/thanking-god.html", "title": "Thanking God", "content_html": "

\"Wedding “The wedding tent!”

\n
“Everything God made is waiting with excitement for God to show his children’s glory completely.”  Romans 8:19 NCV
\nI hadn’t even had my coffee yesterday morning when I heard the diesel dually pull into the driveway just beyond TOW-Wanda’s door. I felt a thrill in my veins. \n

“They’re here!” I thought. “The tent men are here.”

\n

Sure enough, two guys in a pickup with a great big tent rolled up in the back were waiting for directions as to where to erect said structure. I walked out in the field and showed him the site Mr. FixIt and I had chosen the night before. I want the tent positioned so people turning in from the main road will have a straight on view. 

\n

It wasn’t 30 minutes and they had the tent up. They forgot to bring the sides to protect from the rain, so the owner of the tent company brought them later. I was thrilled to see him. You see, Andy grew up two houses from me. I am ten years older than him but I remember him as a little boy. His dad used to have a little carnival and concession business that turned into a tent rental enterprise. When I was a little girl, Andy’s dad used to store his carnival rides in the yard behind their house. He had a cotton candy machine on the back porch. Sometimes he would start it up and give all the neighborhood kids free cotton candy. It was a pleasure to visit with Andy and talk about the old days in the neighborhood. 

\n

The tent hadn’t been up two hours when it started raining. We were going to decorate the tent but it was too wet. I went to town for my final fitting and brought the dress home with me! It’s hanging here in TOW-Wanda. It’s supposed to rain all day today. I’m looking forward to a lay low day of doing nothing. Mr. FixIt and I are exhausted. We need to rest up for the two days ahead!

\n

Thursday…Friday….SATURDAY!!! ❤️

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2018-10-11T01:30:34-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/10/11/thanking-god.html", "tags": ["West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Presence","Be Joyful!","Wedding"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/10/10/rustic-wedding.html", "title": "Rustic Wedding", "content_html": "
\n\"Quilt\n\n
\n
“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.”  Colossians 3:23-24 NIV
\nThe first rustic wedding I ever attended was my cousin’s oldest daughter’s. It was lovely. I stole the idea of using hay bales for seating from her, with her blessing. I’ve been on the hunt for quilts the last couple of weeks to lay over the hay bales and I’ve found enough, I think. I was rummaging around in some tubs and found some quilts I’d forgotten I even had. This one has a story. \n

There was once a time in my life when I was downright agoraphobic. I could go to work and I could go shopping, with some discomfort. But to go “out”…to stretch my boundaries and go someplace alone was way too much for me. I would be sick for three days before I traveled anywhere just fretting about it. I’m not sure why or how I got that way but it took quite a while to get over it. 

\n

I started by taking off by myself in WV when I went home in the summers for a visit. I knew WV. I was comfortable there. One summer, my older daughter was visiting her father in Kentucky and Hubby #2 was in medical school. I had saved up all year to go see my family and while I was there, I went on a little three day road trip. I was driving in the southern part of the state when I saw a sign for Hinton, WV. There was a railroad museum and a few antique stores so I took the exit and meandered on the backroads of WV till I found myself in a dusty little town on the banks of the New River. Most of downtown Hinton was placed on the National Register of Historic Places in 1984. It reached its peak population in 1930 with 6,654, according to the census. The population has steadily dwindled over the years till the year 2016 recorded 2,469 living souls inhabiting this bucolic little burg. 

\n

I stopped at the only shop open that rainy summer afternoon. The old railroad station was a thrift and antique store. My collecting passion at that time was quilts and there was a lovely wedding ring baby quilt hanging on the wall. It was done in soft pastels and the stitching was really rough. But something about it spoke to me. It had a little hand-printed tag with a woman’s name and the price. I can’t remember now how much I paid for it but I’d be surprised if it was over fifty dollars, given that Hubby #2 was in medical school and money was scarce. 

\n

I asked the sales clerk if she could take down the quilt so I could get a closer look. What I thought was just “rough” quilting looked more like a young child had done it. I nearly told the clerk to put it back but that quilt kept speaking to me. I asked her if she knew the woman whose name was on the tag. Was she the quilter?

\n

“Oh, that would be Miss Nellie,” she said. “She’s an old, black woman that lives in a cabin back up the holler yonder.” She pointed in a general direction off somewhere to the south. “She’s blind, don’t you know!”

\n

“Really? And she made this quilt?” I asked. I ran my fingers over the rough stitches, the pieces all puckered. “How does she do that?”

\n

“Well, her granddaughter cuts the pattern and sets the pieces out on the dining room table. Then Miss Nellie sews them by hand, one by one, feeling for the next shape to fit in. She’s been quilting all her life so it’s her fingers that ‘see’ the work,” the clerk explained. 

\n

It was such a piece of American Folk Art, I had to have it. That quilt hung over our bed for a very long time. Over the years, it’s been toted and packed and moved and somehow it got wet. There are stains I can’t remove, but that just seems to add to its charm. This will be one of the quilts that graces a seat at our wedding on Saturday. I’ll picture Miss Nellie in her best Sunday-go-Meetin’ dress, her cracked patent leather handbag resting on her lap…a hanky clasped in one hand. I’m sure weddings made her cry. She is surely long gone now. She was ninety one when she made this quilt. 

\n

They are delivering the tent today. Our longtime friends, Dianne and Bobby are coming over to help us decorate. The hay will be under cover for the hard rain we are expecting tomorrow. My final fitting for my dress is this afternoon. I am meeting a friend for coffee and a little visit first. She has some quilts for me to use. 

\n

The grandkids were over yesterday and while I worked inside and visited with our granddaughter and great granddaughter, her husband was out with Mr. FixIt moving the woodpile that refused to burn. They hauled it down to the end of the field along the fence line in the woods near the old apple tree. They loaded the trailer up with more junk to take to the scrap yard today. They cut down trees around the building and piled the second brush pile a little more compactly and set it ablaze. It’s almost gone now. We had burgers and sat out by the pool as the sunset cast shades from hot pink to salmon to yellow-gold in the sky above us. A day well-worked is a day well-lived. 

\n

The place looks SO much better. I told Mr. FixIt there comes a point when he has to say enough is enough. And you know what? It’s going to rain tomorrow so God is going to force him inside to take a day of rest before things get exciting Friday! Wednesday-Thursday-Friday….

\n

SATURDAY!!! 

\n

It’s almost here!!! ❤️

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2018-10-10T01:30:24-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/10/10/rustic-wedding.html", "tags": ["Family","West Virginia","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!","Wedding"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/10/07/the-glory-of-love.html", "title": "The Glory of Love", "content_html": "

\"Sunset\" “Sunset over the Ponderosa.”

\n
“Therefore, since we have these [great and wonderful] promises, beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, completing holiness [living a consecrated life--a life set apart for God’s purpose] in the fear of God.”  2 CORINTHIANS 7:1 AMP
\nWhat beautiful sunsets we get to see here on the Ponderosa! I was just heading back in the house after dining al fresco with Mr. FixIt when I notice the light changing. I turned around and caught this. With the hill behind the house, we don’t catch the setting sun itself. However, if there are clouds, you can catch the reflection and oftentimes it is so stunning it takes you breath away.\n

I got a bit of a late start this morning and by the time I got out to clean the smoker, it was already 88 degrees. Sitting in the sun scrubbing furiously is all it took to knock me down. I had to go lay down in the air conditioning in TOW-Wanda till it cooled off outside and I cooled off inside. We drove to town for a couple of things and picked up hamburger for supper. Mr. FixIt tried to burn the brush pile again and it just will not burn. Too green, too wet…who knows? Not sure what we’re going to do now with two charred piles of blackened brush. Some will burn…just not much. I finished the inside of the smoker at dark and will clean the racks tomorrow while Mr. FixIt bowls.

\n

My good friend Diane hunted down some hay for me so we’re picking that up this afternoon after church. Now I’m on the hunt for some cutter quilts. A friend of mine told me where I might find some. Now it’s just a matter of having the time to go look. sigh

\n

As you can see in the picture, TOW-Wanda is tucked in there under the maple tree by the building. I’m staying out there till the wedding. I am determined to see this through. A commitment is a commitment. 

\n

I’m looking forward to church today. I need the break…and the soothing calm I get from worshiping with our church family. I am not at all nervous about the wedding or marrying Mr. FixIt. There is just so much we would like to get done beforehand. We were talking as we drove to town last night. I suggested we go get massages before the wedding. Don’t you think that would be a lovely idea? 

\n

Six days!!!!! ❤️

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2018-10-07T01:30:18-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/10/07/the-glory-of-love.html", "tags": ["Faith","Positive Energy","Fun","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Wedding"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/10/06/man-make-fire.html", "title": "Man Make Fire", "content_html": "

\"Bonfire\" “Mr. FixIt stirring the fire.”

\n
“In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, Lord, make me dwell in safety.”  Psalm 4:8 NIV
\nYesterday was a long, l-o-n-g day. I put 44 pounds of pork butt in the smoker at noon and finally sat down at 9:00 with the pork off the bone and in the freezer and the dishes only half washed.\n

Mr. FixIt tried starting the brushfire at 5:00 and it didn’t start burning till 7:00. When I came out at 9:00, he had quite the blaze going so we pulled up a couple of chairs and relaxed. We haven’t had a fire all summer so this was really nice. 

\n

I’m telling you, there’s nothing like planning a wedding to get long-neglected chores finished on the ol’ homestead. I told him last night we should get married more often! He took a load of junk to the scrap yard and has the trailer ready to load up more today. The fellow who was supposed to get our hay bales for seating called last night to say he couldn’t find any. So…now to Plan B. 

\n

The one thing I used to tell the brides when I was helping them plan their weddings…go into the day knowing that it will not look exactly like you have pictured it every day since you were ten. You have to go with the flow. In that vein…I’ll just take a deep breath and remember it’s going to be beautiful. I’ll find hay somewhere! Or not. ❤️

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2018-10-06T01:30:27-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/10/06/man-make-fire.html", "tags": ["West Virginia","Gratitude","Love","Presence","Wedding"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/10/05/yeehawbargains-galore.html", "title": "Yeehaw...Bargains Galore!", "content_html": "

\"Pulled “We’re keepin’ it country and serving smoked pulled pork sandwiches at our wedding reception.”

\n
“It was Preparation Day, and the Sabbath was about to begin.”\n‭‭Luke‬ ‭23:54‬ ‭NIV‬‬
\nI went yesterday to get my hair trimmed for the wedding. There is nothing worse than getting your bangs trimmed and finding they’re just that little bit too short for your liking, especially if there is something huge like a wedding soon. If you get them done the week before, at least you’ve become accustomed before the event. I’m happy to say, Michelle has only let me down once and that’s because I wasn’t paying attention. Now she makes sure we make eye contact when she asks if I want layers in my hair. \n

I picked up my boots from the shoe shop then went to Big Lots and bought a couple turquoise table clothes and a set of sheer curtains for decorating the tent. And I got some ribbons and things for a little garland idea I have. Then I met up with my small group for dinner instead of the usual bible study because the leader is out of town. 

\n

I’ve been very carefully watching the budget for the wedding. I want nice but reasonable. In keeping with that, I stopped at the store to buy forty pounds of pork butt. Pork butt and shoulder roasts are not expensive cuts of meat but with the proper preparation, they can knock your socks of while feeding a large crowd affordably. We decided to have smoked pulled pork sandwiches with coleslaw and potato chips. We’ll purchase some fried chicken for those who don’t like pork. 

\n

There are as many pulled pork recipes as there are pigs, I think. I’ve read several and, as usually, I will draw a little from this recipe and a little from that recipe till I get what I want. I read only how many pounds of pork to buy in order to feed the number in your crowd…in my case, 44 pounds for around eighty people. I priced the difference between buying individual ingredients and making my own rub or buying ready made and ready made won. I bought several jars of different varieties and will combine them to make my own. The same with barbecue sauce. I have no idea how much barbecue sauce we’ll use so I bout twelve bottles. I may not need to ever buy it again! All told, I was pleasantly surprised when the total at the grocery story was $136! I expected to pay twice that!

\n

Today, I’ll heat up the smoker as I prepare the meat. We’ll go over the details of that tomorrow. 

\n

This is getting exciting, my friends!!! ❤️

\n", "date_published": "2018-10-05T01:30:53-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/10/05/yeehawbargains-galore.html", "tags": ["Fun","Gratitude","Love","Courage","Be Joyful!","Wedding"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/10/03/instant-gratification.html", "title": "Instant Gratification", "content_html": "

\"Monarch “The only monarch butterfly I have seen in WV in the four years I’ve been back, and it was lying dead in the field. I was to harvest milkweed pods this year and try to bring some monarchs back.”

\n
“I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.”\n

Ephesians 4:1-3 ESV

\nSo, yesterday I told you I’m a “risk-taking storyteller”. I’m sure it’s no surprise to any of you who have been following me for some time if I tell you…I am also “Instant Gratification Girl”! If I can’t get it done yesterday, I’ve been known to pitch a hissy fit. Patience has never been my forte. 

\n

I stopped praying for patience a long time ago when I figured out God was sending me MANY situations in which to practice. I know I’m not fooling Him one bit, but I do thank Him for what little patience I DO have. 

\n

I may have told you this story before. I’ve told so many, it’s hard to remember. When I was a little girl, I desperately wanted a pair of black, patent leather Mary Janes. Mom took me to the shoe store and the only pair they had left was a half size too small. When my mom told the man we’d keep looking. I had a major meltdown. To my little overdramatic self, that meant I would NEVER, EVER get them! Mom caved and bought them for me and forced me to wear them for a month till I was broken of that behavior. 

\n

Well, maybe. 

\n

Monday evening, I went over to Mr. FixIt’s and mowed till it got too dark to do it safely. I went in to get a cold drink and was sitting on the sofa when I saw them. An army of stink bugs! Do you think either of us could have possibly remembered what arrives in WV on the 1st of October? Nooooooo. Hot on their stinky little heels will be the Asian Lady Bugs. Oy! Both of these little boogers swarm en masse and I can just imagine myself walking down the aisle looking like a Ninja as they swarm and land in my hair! 

\n

Breathe. 

\n

OmmmmmmmMyGosh!!!!

\n

I put an urgent message out on FB. “Is there anything to keep these things at bay for a few hours?” I got lots of suggestions, including changing the wedding date. No! Absolutely not! I want my “patent leather shoes”, darn it!

\n

Here’s how I’m going to deal with this. We’ve managed to pull together a beautiful wedding in less than a month. The average cost of a wedding in the US today is $27,000. Ours is going to be gorgeous for far less than 10% of that. (Did I tell you I used to do this for a living? Mr. Virgo taught me well!) Everything is ordered. The tent comes the 10th giving us plenty of time to decorate it. I’m going to smoke the pork butts this weekend for the pulled pork, bag it and pop it in the freezer till Wednesday. Then late Saturday morning it goes in a slow oven to finish off. I have plenty of helpers coming that Friday and Saturday. I have a final fitting on the dress next Wednesday and it will be ready to pick up Friday. We can get the coleslaw and buns that afternoon. The sodas go in the fridge Friday and on ice in the galvanized tubs Saturday. The photographer arrives at 2:00. The cake gets delivered at 3:00. 

\n

See? Everything that I CAN control is under control. The rest of it I can do nothing about. Weather OR bugs. And…it will be perfect. I was thinking about this “instant gratification” thing and my word for the year….presence…popped into my head. This is my last wedding. Seriously. I’m never doing this again. I want to stay in the moment and memorize it all. We want to enjoy this, not stress out about it.  So, that’s just what I’m going to do. 

\n

I really didn’t like those patent leather Mary Janes anyway. ❤️

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2018-10-03T01:30:13-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/10/03/instant-gratification.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Presence","Peaceful Moments","Choices","Change","Wedding"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/10/02/im-a-risktaking-storyteller.html", "title": "I’m a Risk-taking Storyteller", "content_html": "

\"Inspired “I am willing to risk being wrong.”

\n
“He who observes the wind will not sow, and he who regards the clouds will not reap. As you do not know the way the spirit comes to the bones in the womb of a woman with child, so you do not know the work of God who makes everything. In the morning sow your seed, and at evening withhold not your hand, for you do not know which will prosper, this or that, or whether both alike will be good. Light is sweet, and it is pleasant for the eyes to see the sun. So if a person lives many years, let him rejoice in them all; but let him remember that the days of darkness will be many. All that comes is vanity.”  \n

Ecclesiastes 11:4-8 ESV

\nLet’s face it…I’m a risk-taker. I wasn’t always. I stood at the edge of many a precipice, leaning forward just enough to deem the venture far too scary to attempt. And, being a perfectionist compounded the issue with my “If I can’t overachieve, I will not try” personality. This has kept me from experiencing many incredible  moments that, at the very least would have been entertaining, and more than likely would have changed my life. But, change wasn’t something I was interested in. 

\n

I remember when my 20-year marriage was falling apart. I had been in therapy for depression stemming from a past filled with abuse, both to me and by me. Sexual abuse. Emotional abuse. Alcohol abuse. Prescription abuse. When my ex-husband was at the end of his rope, he had some therapy of his own to gain the tools he needed to take care of himself. He was changing right in front of me and it scared me more than anything else had. Because I knew where this was headed. My long-standing abandonment issues assured me I would be alone and destitute and living on the streets. Of course, that never happened, but I distinctly remember him saying something to me and asking him just how much he was going to change because I didn’t like it. I can look back on that moment now and realize he was actually saving my life, but at the time, I was horrified. 

\n

When I found myself dangling by the end of my own rope, I was forced to change or die. I’d love to say it was an easy choice and I moved right on by the huge crevasse that had opened in my life, but that was not the case. I overdosed and came as close to death as I care to go at this point in my life. And that was, as they say, the bottom of the barrel. 

\n

I wasn’t a Christian yet, but I saw a tunnel before me of the most beautiful shade of cobalt blue surrounded with rays of gold…like a giant eclipse of the sun. While I was in this tunnel, my dead grandma came to me and stood by my side. She sternly told me, “Get back down there, young lady! You have work to do!” It took me five years and the death of my mother and the prayers of some really great people to find Jesus and my life changed in an instant. Not that my circumstances were ideal and I didn’t still struggle. I did. But I felt every cell in my body come alive and become new. It was…THE change. The really BIG change. 

\n

My fear level plummeted. I became a risk taker. After two failed marriages, Mr. Virgo came into my life and I plunged off the cliff of a third marriage holding hands with a wonderful man. We enjoyed seven years of this bliss before he died suddenly as we were planning our golden years. Grief chiseled me into who I am today. Stronger, to be sure. Softer, more empathetic. Grief became my story…and I’m an avid storyteller. 

\n

Now, here I am…about to jump off the cliff again. My fourth marriage. I swear, it’s my LAST marriage. Daughter #1 has taken to calling me “Liz”. Someone asked me the other day if I was scared. My answer was, “Heck no! I’m marrying my very best friend whom I’ve known for fifty years. Bring it on!” I realized a couple of days later what she meant….

\n

Was I scared of losing Mr. FixIt like I lost Mr. Virgo?

\n

I pondered. This is why no one likes to talk about death and grief. It hits too darned close to home. Am I worried that Mr. FixIt will drop dead in front of me? I’d be lying if I said no. Am I willing to risk going through loss and grief again so that I can experience the love of another wonderful man? Absolutely! And you know why I say that? Because, I’m a risk-taker now. Ever since I laid everything on the line for Jesus, I’ve been firmly in the camp of “I’m willing to risk being wrong.”  It took me 14 months of being engaged to Mr. FixIt to prepare for this marriage. It took standing up and adding the caveat of living separately for the month before the wedding as a sacrifice and atonement for living together before we were married. And it took the assurance of a loving God that He will always and forever have my back in all things I do. I will not be afraid. 

\n

They say God will catch you and teach to you fly. I am sure there will be many flying lessons ahead, but it’s a risk I’m willing to take and a story I’m willing to tell. ❤️

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2018-10-02T01:30:31-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/10/02/im-a-risktaking-storyteller.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Choices","Starting Over","Wedding"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/09/30/plan-b.html", "title": "Plan B", "content_html": "

\"Ivory “My Plan A. On to Plan B.”

\n
“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.”  James 1:5 ESV
\nIt was so pretty on the hanger, but...true confession...I didn’t try the dress on at the Country Living Fair. For one this, there was one dressing room consisting of four curtains and a mirror and a long line. It was ninety-one degrees. And I was working the booth. I thought for sure it would fit. It was way too big, but beyond that, the style just was not flattering on me. I was SO disappointed. Then I kinda freaked a little. We live in a small town and there aren’t a whole lot of options here for purchasing formal attire. \n

I jumped on Pinterest and searched for “wedding dresses for the mature bride”. Apparently, a “mature” bride is 35 because that’s how old the women were modeling the dresses. And a lot of the dresses looked matronly. I really don’t want to look like the grandmother of the bride. I AM the bride, and by golly, I’m going to look like one!

\n

I drove to town and prayed on the way. 

\n

“Lord, thank you for all of your provision. I want to thank you for having the perfect dress waiting for me at the first shop I stop at today. It needs to be on sale, Lord. And I don’t want to pay over $____ for it. Oh, and if possible, I want to look like a queen. Amen”

\n

I pulled into the first shop on my route. We tried a couple dresses off the rack but they neither one suited me. Then Julie, the attendant, directed me to the sale rack. She said, “I think this just might work. Try this.” It was a size 12. My heart sank. I’ve put on 15 pounds from the steroids I was on for two weeks. But I was game to try. 

\n

She helped me into the dress and when I came out and looked at myself in the mirror, I cried. Ok, I made a little 14 year old girl who was in the shop cry, ok? This dress is stunning. Nothing like I imagined I would have…or want. But, when I asked the attendant how much it was, it was $1.00 below the price I told God I could pay! We’re going to do a little fitting and then it will be perfect. I’m  inot sharing any other details because that man of mine reads my blog and he won’t see the dress until I walk out to the tent. So you’ll just have to wait, too! 

\n

You always need a Plan B and sometimes, YOUR Plan B was God’s plan all along! ❤️

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2018-09-30T01:30:16-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/09/30/plan-b.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Aging","Choices","Change","Starting Over","Wedding"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/09/29/he-who-lives-in-me.html", "title": "He Who Lives in Me...", "content_html": "

\"Rustic “A rustic cross is just what we need to turn our tent into a House of God.”

\n
“Little children, you are from God and have overcome them, for he who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.”  1 John 4:4 ESV
\nI ran a million errands yesterday. Ok...it just FELT like a million. I needed thread and some sewing scissors to sew the lace extension on my wedding dress. (It’s not quite as long as I want.) I had to take all the stuff I bought yesterday over to Mr. FixIt’s and pick up the sewing machine and my wedding dress. Then I noticed a package I was expecting wasn’t delivered because I wasn’t there. I picked up the pink slip out of the mailbox and headed to the post office. On and on and on.\n

My last stop was at Pat Catan’s…the craft store in town. I wasn’t sure what I was looking for. I have an idea for a banner or something but I just can’t quite make up my mind. Then I saw this rustic cross. I thought it would be perfect to hang over the spot we stand with the pastor. (We have a pastor!) We aren’t getting married in a church, but we can sure bring God into the tent! As I was checking out, the clerk said, “Wow. You just bought this cross and, I don’t quite know how to tell you…you saved $6.66!” Without missing a beat, I smiled and said…”He who lives in me is greater than he who lives in the world. He doesn’t scare me!” 

\n

I didn’t take the receipt, though.

\n

What I did do this week was disconnect from the media for awhile. As a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, I found way too many triggers everywhere I turned. Instead…I threw all my focus on this gentle man I am about to marry. Avoidance oF the media surrounding the event does not mean I am uninformed or uncaring. It just means I know my limits and I had reached mine by the end of the Cosby sentencing. This world breaks my heart sometimes. Will there ever be a time when we are less…divided, angry, hateful?

\n

I may be weary of all this, but I am not fearful. Fear is from the enemy. He will whisper and tell you all is lost. Don’t believe him! WALK STRONG! ❤️

\n
“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” Psalms‬ ‭23:4‬ ‭ESV‬‬
\n", "date_published": "2018-09-29T01:30:28-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/09/29/he-who-lives-in-me.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","West Virginia","Gratitude","Grace","God","Wisdom","Humbled","Wedding"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/09/26/a-tangled-web.html", "title": "A Tangled Web", "content_html": "

\"Web\" “Sin starts out easily enough and soon ensnares you in a tangled web.”

\n
“I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord. If anyone thinks that he is not behaving properly toward his betrothed, if his passions are strong, and it has to be, let him do as he wishes: let them marry—it is no sin. But whoever is firmly established in his heart, being under no necessity but having his desire under control, and has determined this in his heart, to keep her as his betrothed, he will do well.”  1 Corinthians 7:32-37 ESV
\nAs you may remember, I lived twenty-seven years of my life as a practicing Jew, so I am quite familiar with the Days of Awe or the High Holy Days. This is the period of time from Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, and Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement. The dates vary year to year because the Jewish calendar is based on the lunar cycle so it doesn’t match up with the calendar we use daily. This year, Rosh Hashanah starts on September 29th and Yom Kippur is October 8th. It is not a coincidence that this holy time coincides with the days leading up to our wedding.\n

The High Holy days is a time of reflection and meditation. While Jews pray for their name to be in the Book of Life for the New Year, Yom Kippur is a solemn day of fasting and prayer, a day of atonement when you ask God to forgive you of your sins. When I made the decision to marry Mr. FixIt because I was feeling wrong living with him without being married, I had no idea the High Holy Days were coming up. 

\n

I have been staying at the farm by myself for the last week. This is my time of atonement. Being away from my sweetheart isn’t easy, but it is a “fasting”, of sorts. I can’t quite find the words to describe what is happening within my heart as I go through these days without him before we marry. 

\n

One may say, “Oh, you’ve lived together all this time. What’s the difference now?”

\n

Well, it is one thing to do something wrong because you were unaware it was sinful. It’s quite another to know it is wrong, then do it anyway. I may be late to the party on this one…but I’ve shown up and suited up. I’ve made a commitment. And I have to say, I am honored by Mr. FixIt’s respect for my decision. Like he said, I am my own woman…I don’t need anyone’s permission to do something, married or not. I know he’s not as enthusiastic about this as I am, but I appreciate his patience and understanding. I think we are both gaining something from the experience.

\n

Sin is a tangled web we can so easily get snared in. Seeking solitude for prayer and meditation has helped me sweep away some cobwebs of my own making. And having a clean slate upon which to build our foundation just feels better to me. I am not being judgmental of others and their personal choices. I speak of what is in my heart. ❤️

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2018-09-26T01:30:40-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/09/26/a-tangled-web.html", "tags": ["Faith","Overcoming Obstacles","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Wisdom","Choices","Wedding"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/09/25/a-change-of-status.html", "title": "A Change of Status", "content_html": "

\"Engagement “The change from “widow” to “engaged” deserves a moment of reflection.”

\n
““Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.”  Matthew 7:7 NIV
\nI did something monumental yesterday. I changed my relationship status on Facebook from “widow” to “engaged”. Ok, in the grand scheme of things, that’s not really monumental...but it IS, you know?\n

Some people change their relationship status like they change their shoes. I remember that first attempt at “dating” after Mr. Virgo died. It was (I’m embarrassed to say) only five months after he died. I know, I know. Plenty of my friends and my family were like…”WTH are you DOING???” What I was doing was putting a tourniquet on my hemorrhaging heart. I went so far as to change my relationship status and knew immediately that was a HUGE error in judgment. Let’s face it…when you are grieving, good judgment goes out the window for quite some time.

\n

It wasn’t long till the status went back to “widow” and there it has stayed for the last five years. When I tell my story, I start out with “My husband and I had decided life was too short to wait for retirement to have some fun…” Always the same. I’ve had people misunderstand my story for “wallowing in my grief”. That isn’t it at all…at least not after a couple of years. I tell my story so that others may not feel so alone in their grief. So that others may learn that when grief strikes, you don’t have to crawl into a ball and stay there forever. I tell my story to give people hope that there is life in spite of grief.

\n

It’s not like I haven’t thought about changing my status before now. After all, Mr. FixIt and I have been engaged for over a year. And, it has nothing to do with my feelings for him. I love him dearly and want to be with him the rest of my life. It’s just five little letters, but widow is what I’ve related to for five-and-a-half years. It does not define me anymore, but it will always be a part of who I am. I was fiddling around on Facebook yesterday and just had this flash. 

\n

“You’re getting married in nineteen days, girlfriend. It’s time.” Without giving it a second thought, I went from “widow” to “engaged”. Then I sat and looked at it. Wow. This is huge. Yet, not. Yet, it is. I’m finally ready to put “widow” in second place. And now, when I tell my Mr. Virgo story, it will start out with “My late-husband and I decided…” 

\n

I’m making a concerted shift in consciousness. My focus will be more forward-thinking. My posts will have lots of new stories and color and joy and adventure. It feels like I’m leaving something behind, though. That’s one reason I’ve been staying over at the farm alone a lot lately. I need some alone time to process that. To package it up and set it on a shelf. I can still reach it. I can still take it out and look at it. I’m just not going to sit with it in my lap so much. This is all about healing and moving forward and letting go. The shift from one status to the other deserves a moment of honor and reflection. It’s good. It’s all so very good. ❤️

\n

 

\n", "date_published": "2018-09-25T01:30:40-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/09/25/a-change-of-status.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Growth","Gratitude","Love","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Change","Starting Over","Wedding"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/09/23/what-a-day.html", "title": "What a Day!", "content_html": "

\"Fall “The last of the flowers at the farm.”

\n
“Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans.”  Proverbs 16:3 NIV
\nWow...I don’t know how I could possibly top yesterday’s wonderful response to the news of our upcoming wedding. Thank you all so, so much for your kind words, your genuine joy, and certainly for all the prayers you offer me. They worked! All day long, my phone would send me a notification saying someone else had responded to my post and it really made my day. \n

As I sat down to organize my day over coffee on the front porch, my calendar reminded me the wedding is three weeks away. Two weeks and six days now, to be precise! I started gathering addresses for invitations, but I was worried people would be making plans. So, I texted a lot of people with a picture of the invite and prefaced it with…”Well…THIS is happening!” I have almost all the invitations addressed…all but Mr. FixIt’s list. Moving right along! 

\n

We want a very simple, country wedding. Low key, comfortable yet still a little classy. I really wanted to do this at the farm. This farmhouse would be such a beautiful backdrop. We discussed it and decided there’s really only room for cars…or people. Not both. We decided to have the wedding in the big field over at Mr. FixIt’s house. The trees should be at their peak that weekend. We’ll have a tent down by the creek and it will be lovely. 

\n

In keeping with my “Stories, not Stuff” theme, we are keeping this low cost. I mean, really…the whole thing is supposed to be about our love for each other, not a bunch of fussy foo-foo stuff. I’m not going to share all the details beforehand because there has to be an element of surprise. I will tell you this. I went online to print our invitations and when I saw how much it cost, I thought I could do much better using a local printer. I’m pretty good with graphics, so I got the invitation set up, sent it of to Mr. FixIt to get his opinion, then sent it via email to Office Depot. Fifty invitations with envelopes and rush delivery was over $100 online. Office Depot? Less than $20…including envelopes…and I was out the door in twenty minutes. Score!

\n

After sitting scrunched over the desk all afternoon…pen in hand, I went on a walkabout and took a picture of those flowers I was telling you about the other day. They have faded out to more of a pink color now. Anyone have any idea what this is? They’re one of the last flowers here at the farm. It’s gotten cool and we are due for rain for a few days. Fall is officially here! ❤️

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\n", "date_published": "2018-09-23T01:30:27-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/09/23/what-a-day.html", "tags": ["Positive Energy","West Virginia","The Farm","Wedding"] } ] }