![\"\"](\"https://i0.wp.com/www.marshmallowranch.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/05/single-telephone-operator-at-work-in-the-1940s-1.jpg?fit=1024%2C579&ssl=1\")
I’m so old, I remember a time when your house phone didn’t have a rotary dial. You just picked up the receiver, and the operator would say,
\n\n\n“Number, please.”
\n\n\n“Hudson 1234, please.” And she would connect you.
\n\n\nAll the phones were heavy, black behemoths that you were darned lucky to have. When I was a teenager, the only way to reach someone was to call their house phone. You know…the one on the wall in the kitchen with the 15’ curly cord so you could sit on the basement steps and talk privately. There were no answering machines. If there wasn’t an answer, you knew they were busy, and you’d try later. You carried a dime in each of your “penny loafers” in case you needed to call your mom to come get you.
\n\n\nThe Jetsons promised us jet packs and flying cars. They got the video phone right. I remember when I bought my daughter her first desktop computer so she could write her reports on it. Her dad said it was ridiculous to do that. No one was going to use a computer at home, for heaven’s sake! Then came Compuserve and AOL. The familiar beeee-ba-beeeeeeeep-boooo…..buhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Then a portable phone that was bigger than a breadbox that you carried around. Hubby #2 was a physician and needed to be available 24/7 when he was on call. He wore a beeper, and when it went off, he had to call in to the answering service or the hospital or another doctor…all while we were walking the baby in the park. Never…in our wildest dreams would we ever think of taking a picture of ourselves! How utterly ridiculous! Or send naked photos to someone. (That’s what the Polaroid camera was invented for!)
\n\n\nWhen I went into the computer place to buy that first computer, the sales guy said, “Now, take this thing home and play with it. Don’t be afraid of breaking anything. If anything happens to it, you just bring it back in and I’ll fix it.” That was it. I went to town on that thing, and I’ve never looked back. When I co-authored a book for the National Institutes of Health, I actually used the first LAPTOP to type the manuscript! Those of us “of a certain age” remember when our days didn’t revolve around something that tethered us like a chain. We didn’t doomscroll our way through life. We just experienced it.
\n\n\nI went through a terrible clinical depression in the late ‘80s. I spent my days on the computer when my second child went off to school. I was disconnected from humanity….disconnected from my family and the world. And that was LONG before you could carry a computer with the kind of power that used to take a whole building to hold. Now, the world is in our pockets, and we’re raising entire generations on smoke and mirrors. I’ve been around long enough to know that most genies can’t be put back in the bottle, and AI will change everything all over again.
\n\n\nWhen I proudly took my first laptop with me to visit my family in West Virginia, I would say my grandma was mesmerized. But it was more like, “What IS this sorcery?” My father’s reaction was more poignant.
\n\n\n“The internet will be the death of this country.”
\n\n\nYou may have been spot on, Dad. But there’s this thing called Snapchat that can take pictures of you, take away all your wrinkles. and give you the skin you never had in real life. I play with it occasionally.
\n\n\nRemember…Mr. Peabody and Sherman said we’d have a time machine, too. Didn’t they?
\n\n\nᓚᘏᗢ
\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\nSo we do not lose heart. Though our outer self[a] is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. 2 Corinthians 4:16 ESV
\n\n
***Gratitude Journal*** Today, I am grateful for the magic of the internet and the budding yearn to cut back on its use.\n\n", "date_published": "2025-05-27T04:45:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2025/05/27/number-please.html", "tags": ["Wisdom","Change","Memories"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2025/04/06/what-was-i-thinking.html", "title": "What Was I Thinking?", "content_html": "\n
![\"\"](\"https://i0.wp.com/www.marshmallowranch.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/IMG_1429.jpeg?fit=1024%2C768&ssl=1\")
The Inimitable Christine Lavin. (Credit: Christine Lavin)
\n\n\nBack at the turn of the century, Hubby #2 and I split up. My self esteem was in the toilet and my friend Karen asked me to go to a musical performance by Christine Lavin. She is a folksinger songwriter with quirky fun way about her. When I was a DJ on Public Radio, I played a lot of her songs. While I wasn’t really up for it, I made myself go…and I’m so glad I did.
\n\n\nChristine loves to gather with her audience before her shows. She’ll sit in the lobby and paint your nails or have a knitting circle as she asks about you and your story. I’ve only seen her twice, but we have spoken a few times since. She is just a sheer delight and I’d really like to see her again someday.
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://i0.wp.com/www.marshmallowranch.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/IMG_1430.jpeg?fit=550%2C412&ssl=1\")
Christine Lavin and Friends at a knitting circle. (Credit: Christine Lavin)
\n\n\nMr. FixIt was gone most of the afternoon, so while I cleaned house and made a double batch of granola, I watched YouTube videos. One popped up that I hadn’t seen. Christine Lavin on CBS Sunday Morning when Charles Kuralt was the host. I was tickled to death to see this and it captures the artist exactly as I remembered her.
\n\n\nThose were hard times for me during the first stages of divorce. Listening to Christine sing “What Was I Thinking” and “Harrison Ford” and “Cold Pizza for Breakfast”….”Bald Headed Men,” “Regretting What I Said,” and “Good Thing He Can’t Read My Mind” lifted my heart and made me start to find myself again.
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://i0.wp.com/www.marshmallowranch.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/IMG_1598.jpeg?fit=1010%2C1024&ssl=1\")
Credit: Christine Lavin
\n\n\nThere are moments in your life that you will always remember and many of them are associated with music. The Coca Cola Summer of Stars when the lead singer of The Temptations held my hand, looked in my eyes and sang “My Girl.” Or James Taylor singing “Up On The Roof” at Red Rocks as a full moon rose over Denver. Or John Denver singing “Country Roads” to this little West Virginia gal who was so homesick. Then there was Christine Lavin singing “Shining My Flashlight on the Moon” in the auditorium of Carbondale High School when I started to put the pieces of my heart back together.
\n\n\n“Where words fail, music speaks.” Hans Christian Andersen
\n\n\n🩵🌷🩵
\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n“Whoever sings songs to a heavy heart is like one who takes off a garment on a cold day, and like vinegar on soda.” Proverbs 25:20 ESV
\n\n
***Gratitude Journal***\n\n", "date_published": "2025-04-06T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2025/04/06/what-was-i-thinking.html", "tags": ["Wisdom","Memories","Healing"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2025/03/29/finding-calm-during-chaos.html", "title": "Finding Calm During Chaos", "content_html": "\n
Today I am grateful for the music in my life that soothes, heals, and uplifts a weary heart.
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/b48b09b4a6.jpg\")
”After the Storm” - Photo by Ginny McKinney©️2015
\n\n\nI am walking a fine line between staying informed and staying sane. I think a lot of us are. There is SO much chaos in the world today, it’s so easy to get overwhelmed. I mean…there’s a breaking point for everyone. Case in point. We went to town yesterday to meet family for breakfast, then run a few errands. It was raining cats and dogs. There was a lot of getting in and out of the truck with one small umbrella between us. We were testy with each other…I couldn’t drive to suit him, and he was standing on my last nerve. It was the only time we have ever raised our voices to each other. I know it was mutual frustration, but you know those days where each little thing stacks one upon another till the dam breaks? Well, that was our Friday.
\n\n\nIt’s hard to walk away from each other to cool off when you’re running errands. So, I suggested he go look for something on the other side of the store. I spent a few moments alone, and when we joined up to pick out a new coffee to try, he wrapped his arms around me and kissed me in front of God and everybody. We were mending fences in Walmart.
\n\n\nIt’s what you do in a healthy marriage. Gone are the days of using the silent treatment to get back at one another. No more hissy fits or stamping of feet or long, drawn-out arguments. With silver hair comes frankness, courage, compassion, leniency…forgiveness. Early and often. There’s enough chaos in the world. We sure don’t want it in our home, too.
\n\n\nThe other day, I was chatting with Hubby #2 when he asked me if I remembered our friend Larry. He was the husband of a fellow medical student who was diagnosed with ALL..Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia. When told there was nothing that could be done, Larry smiled and said, “Good. I get to see Jesus.” Neither one of us got it at the time. But we do now. The promise of Heaven and walking with Jesus has turned us away from the focus of fear.
\n\n\nI can’t help but wonder what life would be like going through trying times like these alone. I know there are so many of you who face all this without your person. I hope you are gentle with yourself and practice self-care. Being at this stage of life is sobering, and I pray for the bereaved among us.
\n\n\n🙏🏼
\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n“But avoid irreverent babble, for it will lead people into more and more ungodliness,”
\n\n
2 Timothy 2:16 ESV
Gratitude Journal\n\n", "date_published": "2025-03-29T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2025/03/29/finding-calm-during-chaos.html", "tags": ["Wisdom","Forgiveness","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2025/03/13/springtime-in-west-virginia.html", "title": "Springtime in West Virginia", "content_html": "\n
Today I am grateful that I’m in my 70’s and not my 20’s or 30’s. God brings us through the hard knocks of life because he knows a diamond is created when it’s put under heat and pressure. He knows we are more precious than all the diamonds in the world. YOU are more precious than any diamond. Believe that.
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/14df42bfa7.jpg\")
I heard spring peepers Tuesday night! Ok, it may be FAUX Spring….but what a delicious reprieve from the worst winter we’ve experienced here in a long, long time. Yesterday was a beautiful day. The temperature soared up to a balmy 81°!!!!! Oh, my….I sat out in the sun in mid-afternoon and it was so hot, I couldn’t stay out too long. Now I’m going to have to acclimate to warm weather…but that sure isn’t a problem for me!
\n\n\nAs you know, yesterday marked twelve years since I lost Mr. Virgo. And it’s funny…this year hit me a little harder. I don’t exactly know why. But that’s the nature of grief, isn’t it? It’s been a very long time since I’ve cried over him. My friend Gail is watching one of her dear friends slowly die of cancer and today was rough for her too. She sent me a link for a song. When I fixed my second cup of coffee, I took it out on the deck, turned on the song, and the tears began to flow.
\n\n\nI talked with Mr. FixIt Tuesday night about it. I reminded him what was coming up and I told him I didn’t understand why this time was hurting me. He held me and told me everyone grieves in their own way and sometimes it’s just harder than others. He makes room in our life for Mr. Virgo. I tell him funny stories and sometimes he even brings him up. Like one time, we were behind Mrs. FixIt 1.0’s house and her property drops off into a wide ravine. Mr. FixIt stood at the edge and looked down to see a buck with a huge rack and he said he immediately felt like Mr. Virgo was standing there with him. He smiled and said out loud, “Thanks for bringing the buck, buddy.”
\n\n\nI’ve been married four times. Some people would be embarrassed by that, but not me. I’ve married four really great men in my life. They’ve helped make me who I am and I love them all to this day. Two of my other former husbands have had life threatening health issues that could have killed them. One has died and Mr. FixIt has had two small strokes. You’d think men would stay FAR away from me, wouldn’t you?
\n\n\nBy the end of the day, I was back on an even keel and ready to conquer the next thing. Today is bread baking day…I sure hope it’s better this time!
\n\n\n💚
\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n“Every time I think of you, I give thanks to my God.” Philippians 1:3 NLT
\n\n
***Gratitude Journal***\n\n", "date_published": "2025-03-13T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2025/03/13/springtime-in-west-virginia.html", "tags": ["Grief","Wisdom","Memories"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2025/03/04/girl-time.html", "title": "Girl Time", "content_html": "\n
Today I am grateful for the memories I have and that God saw fit to grace me with a wonderful man to ride into the sunset with. I think in many ways, He saved the best for last.
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/1e008edabc.jpg\")
“Big” turned 21 on Saturday. I know, right? How can the time pass so quickly? I try to catch her every Sunday evening when I’m checking in on the family. She showed me pictures of her and her friends hiking a cliff trail overlooking the beach. We chatted about her girlfriends and her roommates and it reminded me to share a piece of advice I give to all young women “coming of age.”
\n\n\n“Nurture your friendships with other women. Trust me…you will need them.”
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/139ef8ec9e.jpg\")
What’s that old adage? People come into your life for a reason, a season, and a lifetime. In reality, only a handful of folks tick all three boxes. I lost one of my longest lifelong friends a little over a year ago. My closest lifelong friend came into my life when we were 16 and we still text or call several times a week. She’s quick to set me straight if I swerve off course and she loves me fiercely.
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/5a53fc5267.jpg\")
There are friends that you’re close to and even though you don’t see or talk to each other often, when you get together, you pick up the conversation like no time had passed. There are friends that for one reason or another, drift away and you wish them well but you let them go.
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/bb26b650a7.jpg\")
I’ve always loved my children and grandchildren, but I relate to them so much more now that they’re getting older. My West Virginia kids and grandkids didn’t come into my life till they were adults. And now we’re getting great-grandchildren. It warms my heart when I can impart some wisdom and they’re receptive. They’re so precious.
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/b03bd32aa7.jpg\")
I went to knitting group yesterday and we were the usual group of four this time. We meet at Colleen’s house and I am always excited to see her holiday decorations. She keeps a white pencil tree in her dining room and changes the decorations for every holiday. She has her St. Patrick’s Day decor out now and it won’t be long till she changes over to Easter. I’m not that dedicated. I just got Christmas put away a couple of weeks ago. That’s enough for me.
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/4572e9e6b0.jpg\")
When I got home from knitting, I started working on the bread. I baked three loaves plus a loaf of pepperoni bread. That was just an experiment so I’m looking forward to seeing how it turned out. I cut a slice for Mr. FixIt and myself while the bread was still warm. Oh, my…I think I’ve finally perfected this recipe!
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/89c21a8e59.jpg\")
It’s supposed to get up near 70° here tomorrow and a low of 56° during the night so I’m going “camping” out in the field. Camping without spending a dime…that’s perfect and I can’t wait!
\n\n\n☘️
\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.” Proverbs 17:17 NIV
\n\n
***Gratitude Journal***\n\n", "date_published": "2025-03-04T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2025/03/04/girl-time.html", "tags": ["Self Care","Uplifting Stories","Gratitude","Wisdom","Peaceful Moments","Friends"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2025/02/15/the-never-ending-phone-call.html", "title": "The Never Ending Phone Call", "content_html": "\n
Today I am grateful for the girlfriends in my life…old and new. They keep me grounded. They keep me sane. They keep me laughing.
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/4ce685fd61.jpg\")
Last fall when Mr. FixIt and I were on our anniversary trip to the Outer Banks, we used a transponder for the tolls. When we come home from the beach, we always get a statement in the mail from the WV Parkways Authority telling us how much we paid in tolls and how much is left in our account. We don’t even open those because the account is automatically refilled from our bank.
\n\n\nWell, we received another statement two weeks ago and I knew we hadn’t traveled recently. I opened it and apparently our transponder wasn’t read at one of the toll booths. The normal toll is $9.50 when pulling a camper. So now, not only did I owe the original toll, I have been charged $25 in Violation Fines, $10 First Notice Fee, and $15 Second Notice Fee for a total of $59.50.
\n\n\nI have been trying to call them every day and I’m always well over 150th in line…sometimes 200+. Wait times on the phone have been over two hours no matter what time of the day I call. I’ve emailed them twice and sent a message through their website, to no avail. Last night, I finally was told I was 85th in line and my wait time would ONLY be 96 minutes. I stayed online, listening to their abysmal music broken by periodic updates on my queue status and how long my wait would be. (As it turned out, it took three hours on the phone to resolve the transponder issue. Victory!)
\n\n\nWhy does it take forever on these things? Cutbacks? I mean…HOW many people could be calling the turnpike people on an average day, right? I know this is a state agency and it doesn’t have anything to do with the cutbacks currently being enacted in DC. But, I have a feeling we’re going to have a lot more trouble resolving things like this in the future.
\n\n\nWe’ve become so accustomed to instant gratification. Ever since the dawn of the internet, we’ve been moving faster and faster. Information is thrown at us so fast, we cannot possibly commit things to memory. I remember when I was a lot younger, we had to remember all of our contact phone numbers. And addresses, birthdays, and appointments. Now we run around with a computer in our pockets that has taken control of our lives. Not all of us, of course. But, most of us.
\n\n\nOur brains have been hijacked and voluntarily held hostage by an electronic gatekeeper. We’ve handed over the keys to the kingdom and I’m just so over it. The world has become so complicated and much smaller than we could have ever imagined. We can find out anything about anything with a tap on a screen. Sometimes it just feels like we are puppets on a string. Maybe this is Oz and there’s really IS a Wizard on the other side of the curtain.
\n\n\nI don’t know what the answer is. For a number of reasons, I can’t unplug completely. I have to be available to people that need me. But I do long for the simpler days before all these shiny things were dangled in front of us like a carrot on a string. Progress is not perfection.
\n\n\nOn another note, we went to town yesterday for breakfast as our Valentine. I should have known, when we agree not to get gifts…well, yeah. Mr. FixIt had a sweet card and some chocolates in my Big Red Chair. I made it up to him with a homemade pizza with sourdough crust last night. Ohhhhh, yummmmm! I used the same master recipe of Kate’s Soft Sourdough Sandwich dough for the crust and it was perfect. It got a big thumbs up from the hubs!
\n\n\n💜
\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n“Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” Romans 12:12 NIV
\n\n
***Today’s Gratitude***\n\n", "date_published": "2025-02-15T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2025/02/15/the-never-ending-phone-call.html", "tags": ["Positive Energy","Wisdom","Kindness"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2025/02/11/the-language-of-rebellion.html", "title": "The Language of Rebellion", "content_html": "\n
Today I am grateful for the patience to wait for the goodness in people. When I finally got to a live person on my phone call, I told her how grateful I was to finally be able to reach someone who could help me. Instead of expressing my frustration in reaching someone after two weeks, countless phone calls and four hours on the phone, I greeted her with relief and thanked her tremendously for doing the hard stuff. In the end, she totally dismissed the charges and helped me fix the issue that triggered the late fee. Win-Win!
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/5823411453.jpg\")
In yesterday’s post, I lamented that I didn’t like the Super Bowl halftime show. I’m not a big fan of rap. I’ve heard of Kendrick Lamar, but I can’t say that I haven’t listened to any of his music. So, I was a captive audience…mainly out of curiosity. As I watched the measured choreography, my brain struggled to find some understanding in his craft. I couldn’t help but think I was missing something. Something told me he was sending out a message…that this was an anthem of rebellion of some type. But, try as I might, my white-bread brain couldn’t suss it out.
\n\n\nIn yesterday’s post, I lamented that I didn’t like the Super Bowl halftime show. I’m not a big fan of rap. I’ve heard of Kendrick Lamar, but I can’t say that I have listened to any of his music. So, I was a captive audience…mainly out of curiosity. As I watched the measured choreography, my brain struggled to find some understanding in his craft. I couldn’t help but think I was missing something. I had a feeling he was sending out a message…that this was an anthem of rebellion. But, try as I might, my white-bread brain couldn’t suss it out.
\n\n\nGranted, I couldn’t understand the lyrics. Thinking back, I caught enough words to make me want to investigate further. I don’t like explicit rap. But I came to understand this was Lamar’s art as activism…his paint and canvas. In much the same way as Michelangelo’s sculpture, David…was a symbol of resistance against the powerful Medici patronage in Florence. Marcel Duchamp, Otto Dix, Jasper Johns, Banksy, Picasso…all famous artists that used their work as the language of rebellion against the rise of fascism, war, famine, racism, dehumanization, Apartheid.
\n\n\nKendrick Lamar was speaking in his own language about something that runs deep in the fabric of our history. For example, the image of the dancers forming an American flag while bent over symbolized how America was built largely on the backs of black people. His songs “40 Acres” hark back to the inhumane practice of slavery. “Wesley’s Theory,” “For Free.” There was symbolism of Uncle Tom and Jim Crow…all in an effort to remind us…the NFL may take the “End Racism” signs down, but we need to keep our eyes open. Unfortunately, it still happens.
\n\n\nI’m not getting into a political discussion. I was just interested in the symbolism and how it fits into our society as a whole. Unless you are a multi-linguist and speak many languages, you really only understand your native tongue. It’s understandable that there will be any forms of free speech that we do not comprehend. But, we can learn…open our minds and hearts…and look into the hearts and minds of others. This is part and parcel the message Jesus gave us…
\n\n\n💜
\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\nLove one another as I have loved you. John 13:34
\n\n
***Gratitude Journal***\n\n\n
Today I am grateful for a God who can give me an open heart and mind to learn and grow in my love and understanding of others.
#understanding, #compassion, #art
\n\n", "date_published": "2025-02-11T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2025/02/11/the-language-of-rebellion.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Growth","Grace","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Change","Insight","Healing"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2025/01/13/bowling-with-the-birthday-boy.html", "title": "Bowling With the Birthday Boy", "content_html": "\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/f7b562dd26.jpg\")
Our middle great-grandson turned five last week. He’s three-and-a-half feet of pure love. I raised girls. I didn’t have a clue what to do with boys till this one came along. He’s tender-hearted, artistic, and into Sonic the Hedgehog. He loves pizza and blue frosting on his cupcakes. He is Papaw’s boy, for sure. But when he sees me, he runs over and melts into me like a puddle of butter. He strokes my hair and lays his ear against my chest to hear my heartbeat. And best of all, he doesn’t squirm away from me when he’s done. He seems to understand I need to hug him just a few seconds longer and waits patiently till I let him go. When he climbs down off my lap, he turns to me with all that innocence and says, “I yuv you, GiGi.” Soft and quiet, like it’s our little secret. I could eat him up with a spoon!
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/a003f82877.jpg\")
We can learn a lot from our great-grandchildren. They are our last chance to get it right. They don’t see a single ugly thing in the world. They know nothing about the dark things that jump out at us adults in the crevices of our minds. They aren’t anticipating worryful things like when the life we know starts spinning out of control. All they know is to love because they are not so far from the Source.
\n\n\nI read a piece yesterday by Garrison Keillor of Lake Wobegon fame. The gist of the story was how he plans to live the next four years. He pointed out he doesn’t check his blood pressure every day. Nor does he check the balance of his IRA or the WNBA standings or the air quality index. So why should he stay glued to a social media feed or the so-called news to map out every move everyone is making? Then reading the commentary of folks who should know better but don’t because they weren’t taught the gentle art of critical thinking? He plans to read the news he trusts, digesting what he needs to know to be an informed citizen. Other than that, he’s going to do things like crossword puzzles and leave the rest of the lunacy alone.
\n\n\nI get it. This is going to be a heck of a ride we’re about to embark on. Why make it hard on ourselves and chase every story down when most of it is a smokescreen anyway? I will stay informed, but I’m not going to obsess over every little thing or it will make me crazy. I’m reminded of the wonderful psychiatrist who pulled my fat out of the fire when my world tilted in 2000. My twenty-one year marriage was dying on the vine and all I could do was watch. I obsessed over everything my ex was saying to me, trying to figure out how I could “fix” this…even though there wasn’t any “this” to fix. I thought, if I had a diagnosis or a self-help book that could make me understand what was “wrong” with me, I could make it all ok again. This wonderfully insightful physician looked at me for a long moment and said, “You know, Ginny…sometimes you have to just go out there and live your life.”
\n\n\nWow…deep.
\n\n\nHe was absolutely right, you know. I couldn’t “make” anyone do anything…no matter how much I wanted them to or how much I prayed for reconciliation. I just needed to turn away and live my life. For my kids. And for me. There’s too much information out there. When did the world think we needed to know what the weather is in Bangladesh or Nairobi or Reykjavik at any given moment? I don’t need to read some dumb headline like, “Florida Man Arrested for Pooping on Opossum in Public”. (Seriously, that is a real headline!) Let me just live my life, plant my light on a hill, and do the best I can. That’s all I ask. I didn’t live all these years to die from stress. I can guarantee I will NOT be laying on my death bed and say, “Gosh, I just wish I would have spent more time worrying about what others do.”
\n\n\nIt was John Godfrey Saxe, an American poet, who said, “Laws, like sausages, cease to inspire respect in proportion as we know how they are made.” In other words, “Laws are like sausages, it is better not to see them being made.” Find a news source you trust to be the most honest and who tells it like it is, and turn off all that noise. Contrary to the opinions of some, that is NOT putting your head in the sand. Consider your health and well-being a valuable commodity. Where do you want to spend it? We only have an infinite number of days on this go ‘round. Why don’t you be a little more like Bubby and go bowling on your birthday…with Sonic the Hedgehog. And eat a blue cupcake!
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/d92521ab49.jpg\")
❄️🩵❄️
\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n“My son, do not lose sight of these— keep sound wisdom and discretion,”
\n\n
Proverbs 3:21 ESV
#sanity #mentalhealth #currentevents #children #wisdom
\n\n", "date_published": "2025-01-13T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2025/01/13/bowling-with-the-birthday-boy.html", "tags": ["Family","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2024/06/22/loving-the-water.html", "title": "Loving the Water", "content_html": "\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/cc34bb4b09.jpg\")
When my mom was a young girl, she saved her baby sister from drowning while she herself did not know how to swim. Instead of taking it upon herself to learn how and avoid such situations in the future, she made darn sure she was never in or near the water again. She also made sure we stayed away from it, too. Thus, I spent the majority of my life scared to death of water.
\n\n\nI did venture into the pool a little bit when I was a teenager. But my fear of water kept me from doing so many things I later learned to enjoy. I have only learned enough to be able to (more than likely) save myself from drowning. I’ve kayaked on the Ohio River and in a reservoir. And I’ve been on pleasure boats and sternwheelers. I’m much more comfortable in and around water than I used to be. Which comes in handy when you have a pool in your back yard.
\n\n\nAfter my difficult day on Thursday, I needed a bit of a break yesterday. I slept in late. I fixed our favorite breakfast. Then Mrs. FixIt 1.0 came over in the afternoon for a visit. She needed a piece of plywood and Mr. FixIt fetched one for her from the “hardware store” we call the building out back. We made sure she brought her suit so we could swim. We spent a couple of hours out there till the sun was beating down on our heads and we called it quits.
\n\n\nI fixed us a nice lunch and we just had such a lovely time. I really enjoy her company. She brought me a birthday present, too! All kinds of different doo-dahs for knitting that will come in handy when mowing season is over. Many people are surprised that the former wife and the current wife are friends. It doesn’t work for all women, but I think it’s healthier and better for everyone involved…especially the kids. Even though they are grown, it makes life so much easier for them when they don’t feel split loyalties.
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/e19d6a0fa3.jpg\")
I’m enjoying this Ninja Creami. I’m experimenting with different recipes and ingredients. I had a chocolate ice cream last night that was very good, but I made it with coconut cream instead of dairy and there was so much fat in it, it coated the roof of my mouth and I don’t like that. It’s a work in progress and I’m bound to come up with the perfect combination for a creamy non-dairy ice cream.
\n\n\nToday is supposed be the last day of the heat wave that has gripped most of the country for the last week. The heat advisory is due to expire at 8:00 this evening and we may have storms tomorrow. That will cool things off a bit. And by a bit, I mean the high 80’s instead of the high 90’s. My friend Sharon’s funeral service will be held tomorrow afternoon.
\n\n\nLife is so precious and fragile and it goes by way too fast. Be sure to tell people you love them…early and often. We never know when it will be the last time and a missed opportunity weighs heavily on your mind.
\n\n\n🩵
\n\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2024-06-22T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2024/06/22/loving-the-water.html", "tags": ["Family","Wisdom","Strength"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2024/03/12/dont-ask.html", "title": "Don’t Ask", "content_html": "\n“In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.”
\nPsalm 4:8 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/6abd4e7d39.jpg\")
I scour comments on FB as a study of human character. It deepens my understanding of people…especially in my work as a grief mentor and writer. Most often, people do their level best to say the right things when attempting to comfort someone. But try as they might, there are always going to be clinkers thrown out that may cause deep pain…however unintentional.
\n\n\nOne of the most common questions I hear asked of the newly bereaved is… “How did they die?” One would think it is perfectly reasonable for someone who has close acquaintance to the recently departed to inquire such a thing of the family. In the shock of such bad news, we may want to know how a person died because it triggers fear in us. Think Covid. We could be thinking, “Did they have a disease? Could it be something going around and could I be next?” It’s human nature because we feel threatened by not knowing. It makes us anxious. We want to protect ourselves from what happened to them, whether we consciously realize it or not.
\n\n\nWith the advent of social media, the lines of etiquette have been blurred. Hiding behind a screen, some people are emboldened to ask things they may or may not in a face to face conversation. This is especially true when the death is unexpected and the descendant is young. No one on my blog or my personal page has asked such a thing, but I’ve seen it on other pages.
\n\n\nThe rule of thumb is, if the family has not offered a reason, then we must assume it is not our place to know. I found myself comforting everyone else when Mr. Virgo died…in the ER, at the funeral home, in the street. Everyone deals with grief in their own way. Some want everyone to know. Some can’t bear to say the words out loud. Follow their lead and don’t ask unless you are immediate family.
\n\n\nThat being said, what DO you say?
\n\n\nFirst, ask God to bring you the words.
\n\n\nAdmit there ARE no words that can make any of this better and you are so terribly sorry.
\n\n\nLet them know your heart breaks for them.
\n\n\nTell them your heart is with them.
\n\n\nTell them you are praying for them and their loved ones.
\n\n\nTell them something about their loved one and what they meant to you.
\n\n\nTell them a story about something memorable or funny or amazing about their loved one.
\n\n\nSit quietly beside them. A hand laid softly on their back or shoulder can convey so much without words.
\n\n\nListen to their stories.
\n\n\nHand them a note with your phone number with directions to call anytime, day or night. Do not do this if you are not willing to hear someone snot-crying on the phone at 4:00am like my dear friend Deb McCoy did.
\n\n\nIt’s hard to know what to say or do. Try to “read the room” and go by the cues from those grieving the loss. Honestly, if I hear one more journalist ask grieving people what it felt like when they find out their loved one was gone, I’m going to pop a gasket. I’m usually screaming at the TV. “What the **** do you THINK it felt like, you moron!!!” It makes me crazy!
\n\n\nBut, I digress.
\n\n\nJust be a good human and love on people…gently, quietly, with peace and grace.
\n\n\nThat’s all anyone can ask.
\n\n\n💔
\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n”Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.“
\nMatthew 5:4 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/5b5a991fe9.jpg\")
Mr. Virgo \n09/10/1950 ~ 03/12/2013\nYour Memory is a Blessing.\n\n", "date_published": "2024-03-12T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2024/03/12/dont-ask.html", "tags": ["Grief","Grace","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2024/03/08/the-matriarch.html", "title": "The Matriarch", "content_html": "\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/a5f5b8f569.jpg\")
My grandmother was fifty-six years old when I was born. My grandma was only forty-eight. Yet…they seemed ancient to me when I was a little girl. Their hair was gray and their skin was soft with wrinkles. Blue veins traced rivers on the backs of their hands and brown “liver spots” dotted their arms. They were magical beings with vast knowledge of such things as the perfect chicken and dumplings and soothing slices of jelly bread. They kissed away booboos and loved me unconditionally…my grandma most of all.
\n\n\nI was standing in front of the mirror at The Farm yesterday morning, brushing my own grey hair and pinning it up in a bun just as Grandma had always done. I never knew her to have short hair. As far as I know, she had never cut it or gone to a beauty shop. And she never had bangs. I’ve been letting my bangs grow out. I trimmed them myself through the pandemic so I just kept doing it. Then I waited a little too long and was afraid I’d botch it up. Not wanting to go to the hairdresser, I decided to let them grow out to see if I like them. I don’t NOT like them. I wore my hair swept back when I was growing up. My bangs are getting long enough to sweep them back when I pin my hair up, as long as the bun is high on my head. The jury is still out. I think I notice my face more and maybe that’s not a bad thing. I don’t feel the need to hide anymore and this is a little liberating.
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/45e4fadaab.jpg\")
That’s me in the center of the photo with my uncle and cousins going for a ride in the old Model A truck.
\n\n\nMy Noom lesson yesterday was on self confidence and giving yourself compliments. We are quick to compliment others, yet we are so hard on ourselves. My exercise for the day was to stand in front of the mirror and give myself a believable compliment…out loud. I stepped closer to the mirror and looked at myself critically. I’ve always had a distinct widow’s peak and that’s why I’ve worn bangs. I was self conscious of the receding hairline on either side of my face. I finished brushing my hair back and said to the girl with the grandmother face who was smiling at me.
\n\n\n“You have a kind face. Your eyes crinkle with your laughter and twinkle with happiness. Every line on your beautiful face reminds you of the multitude of smiles you’ve given over the seventy years your presence has been known here. You are exactly as you were meant to be and exactly where you belong!”
\n\n\nI gave myself a big hug and you know what? I felt better! Why are women so hard on themselves…and on each other? We should be celebrated for the glorious and powerful creatures we are! We should be lifting each other up at every turn and encouraging each other with positivity, love, and grace. I used to be so threatened by other women. And now? No way! I am past all that. I am of the mind that if another doesn’t like me or accept me as I am, they are not deserving of my time and energy and I release myself from the burden of bearing the weight of something that is no longer mine to carry.
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/e630e2a9e2.jpg\")
I took this picture because, honestly…I don’t see that angle of myself. I wanted to see what the roadmap of wrinkles on my cheeks were up to. When I looked, I smiled. I’m not sad to have my grandmother’s face or my grandma’s long hair swept back in a bun. I’m honored to be counted among the crones.
\n\n\nI am the matriarch now.
\n\n\n🩵
\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n”Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.“
\nProverbs 31:30-31 NIV\n
#Matriarch, #Aging, #PositiveAging, #InternationalWomensDay
\n\n", "date_published": "2024-03-08T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2024/03/08/the-matriarch.html", "tags": ["Self Care","Uplifting Stories","Strong Women","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Peace","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Courage","Aging","Presence","Change","Memories","Mental Health"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2023/12/08/its-time-for-my-annual.html", "title": "It’s Time for my Annual PSA", "content_html": "\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/18cd8d8c37.jpg\")
Every year I get up on my little soapbox and talk to you about why I say “Happy Holidays.” Now, before we go any further, I’m not saying this should be YOUR greeting if what you wish to say is Merry Christmas! If you’ve been reading my blog for any length of time, you know I lived a Jewish life for twenty eight years so I have personal experience. Someone who is Jewish will most likely never say a word when you wish them Merry Christmas, even though Hanukkah may have already started. After all, they would never think to come up to you and say Happy Hanukkah. They more than likely will give you a gracious “Thank you…and same to you!” There is no offense taken.
\n\n\nBut we are living in dangerous times right now. Hate is rising fast and antisemitism has reared it’s ugly head in a BIG way. I cannot express enough how scary this is to me. My family is Jewish. My children and grandchildren identify deeply with Judaism, even if they are not practicing Jews. I cannot sit idly aside and say nothing.
\n\n\nI have experienced antisemitism myself. Someone in my own family treated me with contempt and asked me to put my Star of David inside my sweater. When my Jewish husband expressed an interest in moving to West Virginia to open a practice, this same family member told him, and I quote… “Well, we had a family of Jews down here once. Come down here from New York City. Wanted to change this and change that. Well, they lit outta here pretty quick when they burned that cross on their lawn!” To. His. Face.
\n\n\nI’ve held my child while she cried because the other kids called her a “stupid ****ing Jew.”
\n\n\nThis hatred against people for who and what they are is straight from the devil himself. God is Love. The very God these people profess to follow would NEVER treat people like that. The Jews are His CHOSEN people! JESUS was Jewish. He never wore a cross because he hadn’t been crucified yet. Christianity hadn’t been truly formed yet.
\n\n\nI don’t want to go on and on about it, but there are FOURTEEN religious holidays between Thanksgiving and Christmas. From St. Nicholas Day to Bodhi Day to Yule to Zarathosht Diso…many faiths celebrate during the month of December.
\n\n\nSince I am not a mind reader, and I cannot tell what someone believes by looking at them, I say Happy Holidays. Because, chances are, they’re celebrating at least one of them this month. If I know for certain they celebrate Christmas, then of course…I say a hearty Merry Christmas to them. If I know for certain they are Jewish, I say Happy Hanukkah.
\n\n\nOtherwise, it’s Happy Holidays from this left wing liberal hippy-chick farm girl!
\n\n\nI’m not scolding anyone. I’m just asking those who mistreat others to put themselves in the shoes of the downtrodden, the marginalized, the oppressed, the belittled, the victimized, the beleaguered, the beaten down, the underdog. Because they are just as human as any of us.
\n\n\n🩵
\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n”If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen.“
\n1 John 4:20 ESV\n
#NoLoveKnowHate, #KnowLoveNoHate, #NoHate
\n\n", "date_published": "2023-12-08T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2023/12/08/its-time-for-my-annual.html", "tags": ["Love","Peace","Wisdom","Anger","Fear"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2023/12/06/a-time-of-tender-hearts.html", "title": "A Time of Tender Hearts", "content_html": "\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/de3ef109c6.jpg\")
Anniversary reactions. It’s a real thing and it’s predictable. It’s the annual echo of a past trauma that is triggered by events, smells, sounds, dates…any number of things that bring you back to that painful moment in your life. My brother was in a terrible accident when I was in fourth or fifth grade. It happened in the fall and here we are…all these years later. Every year, on a certain autumn day, this feeling washes over me and I take notice of it.
\n\n\nThe last week, I’ve had a tender heart. The best way to describe it is… my heart hurts. There’s a heavy feeling in my chest. Things get to me more easily. I had trouble logging in to see Big’s swim meet and I flat out cried because I might disappoint her and not be able to watch. I went to the store yesterday. When I was putting my groceries on the conveyor belt, I looked to the side and there was a small display of fruit cake. I was surprised to feel the sting of tears. Fruit cake was Mr. Virgo’s favorite holiday treat.
\n\n\nI know why I’m feeling these things more strongly this year. Next Wednesday marks two years since my dear friend Sparky died unexpectedly. My heart just hurts and I miss her so much. It reminded me there are so many others who are feeling the same things this time of year. I’m practicing my grief skills. I’m getting enough sleep. I’m not eating junk food or binging on sugar. I’m trying to stay active and reach out to friends and family for extra support. Practicing self care is difficult when you’re grieving, but it’s vitally important.
\n\n\nI remember my first Christmas after Mr. Virgo died. I forced myself to put up the tree even though I had zero holiday spirit. I felt like I needed to do it anyway because it was his favorite holiday and I wanted to honor that. Then, once everything was up, it pierced my heart every time I looked at it. I waited till after Christmas, but everything came down as soon as possible after. I may have better off to have just skipped the whole thing.
\n\n\nWe came so close to having a family disaster yesterday. I read about a fire on the scanner page and recognized the address. Our grandson and his girlfriend live in that area and it took me a couple hours to find out it was their apartment building. He’s working out of town but she was home. Her little kitty woke her up and she started yelling for help. The firemen didn’t know she was up there till she yelled and they came to rescue her. Her kitty didn’t make it out. We are so grateful they’re safe, but please pray for them. They were just getting on their feet and they have no idea how much of their stuff is salvageable.
\n\n\nBe kind to yourselves during this busy season. You are loved.
\n\n\n🎄
\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n”fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.“
\nIsaiah 41:10 ESV\n
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
\n\n\nI love this colorful elephant!
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/b768c3961a.jpg\")
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/8429a2043b.jpg\")
We stopped at an art gallery and I saw this amazing nativity. I’ll share more photos tomorrow.
\n\n\nMr. FixIt and I needed to leave home by 10:30 so I could drop him off at his friend’s house and make it to lunch with my friends at 11:30. I fixed us a quick breakfast and we sat down to eat and have our coffee. The sun came out and we were thrilled the temperature was going up as it got down to 13° during the night. I took a sip of coffee and glanced over at the wall above Alexa and there was a ghostly apparition above it. I studied for a minute and finally realized the sun was reflecting off the window bird feeder. I couldn’t have had some fun with Mr. FixIt but I opted for adulting. lol
\n\n\nI had so much fun meeting with my high school friends at lunch. We laughed and told stories and shared memories. I love to see us at this age. We’ve gone full circle. Most of us really only made friends as adults, but you’d never know it. For some reason, our class is really tight. We talked about how meaningful it is to know people now who may not have treated us well in high school. When we come to realize everyone suffered the angst of adolescence in different ways. And the majority of them grow up and become pretty cool folks.
\n\n\nOne of the gals told us she was at a class reunion and a group of gals came in who had heckled her in high school. She sat back and figured they would leave her alone. Instead, they all came over and asked her to go sit with them. She had heard one of them had breast cancer. She asked how the lady was doing. She said she was doing really well…great in fact. Then…she died three weeks later. She thanks God that she had the opportunity to rise above.
\n\n\nThe same thing happened to me. One of the girls who gave me all kinds of grief in gym class wanted to come to the next reunion. She had never attended and she felt nervous about it. I had connected with her on FB a few months before to encourage her to come. She told me she was afraid people wouldn’t like her because of the way she treated them in school. I assured her we had all grown, and if there were anyone still holding a grudge, it would be an excellent opportunity for her to mend some bridges. She showed up and folks welcomed her with open arms. And… a few weeks later, she died instantly of a heart attack.
\n\n\nSometimes God gives us opportunities to resolve conflicts long before we are called to the Golden Gates. When we have the wisdom and maturity to step up and make things right, it’s good for our soul. When we can clear things off the slate, we not only get to talk to God about the bad thing, we get to talk about how we made it right. He knows, of course. But He wants to hear it from us.
\n\n\nI hated to pull away from our conversation, but I needed to get Mr. FixIt to an appointment so I rushed off. When we were finished, we stopped at a little restaurant we neither one had been to. We had a lovely meal and when we got ready to leave, I couldn’t find my phone. Mr. FixIt couldn’t call it because he left his in the truck. The ladies in the next booth offered to call my phone so I could find it, which I did. I turned to you and said, “Well, now you have my number, you can find me anytime!” I stuck my hand out and said, “I’m Ginny McKinney!” She paused and looked at me a moment. “From Marshmallow Ranch?” OMGosh! This lady came to a talk I gave at her church seven years ago! It’s a small world, isn’t it?
\n\n\nWe went on and made a stop at the store, then headed home in the dark. It was a good day and I’ll be darned if I don’t have to go back in today for a follow up medical appointment of my own. It just seems to be a never-ending thing at this age. As much as I would love to stay home, I’m grateful to have the opportunity to see good doctors and have adequate healthcare. I’m grateful it’s nothing worse. I’m grateful no one is dropping bombs on us or stealing our neighbors away at gunpoint or killing our children. We are so incredibly blessed to live in this country and we all need to start acting like it.
\n\n\nSo go out there today and do something good for your neighbor. Mend your fences where you can. And bless ‘em where you can’t. Life is too short to hold onto anger and resentment. It’s the poison you take hoping it hurts the other guy.
\n\n\nGod bless you all today. I love y’all!
\n\n\n🎄
\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n“And the Lord spoke to Moses, saying, “Speak to the people of Israel, When a man or woman commits any of the sins that people commit by breaking faith with the Lord, and that person realizes his guilt, he shall confess his sin that he has committed. And he shall make full restitution for his wrong, adding a fifth to it and giving it to him to whom he did the wrong. But if the man has no next of kin to whom restitution may be made for the wrong, the restitution for wrong shall go to the Lord for the priest, in addition to the ram of atonement with which atonement is made for him.”
\nNumbers 5:5-8 ESV\n
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
\n\n\nChristmas Words… this tree of words reminds us of what we should all focus on this season of goodwill.
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/80ade26253.jpg\")
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/b220bcc807.jpg\")
Show of hands…how many of you have set out to do one particular job. You get going gangbusters and you’re making some headway. Then you stop to make a cup of tea and something catches your eye up on that tippy top shelf. You know the one. It’s where old mugs and water bottles and stuff your husband refuses to part with go to die. You think, “I’d better get the step ladder and look at this a little closer. It looks like wood shavings in a spider web or something.”
\n\n\nYou go get the step ladder, set it up steady as can be, and get up there all close and personal-like and there….before your very eyes…is the dreadful evidence of MICE! UGH!!!! Any thoughts of going back to the project you were so enthusiastically pursuing vanishes and off you go chasing rabbits… errrr, mice… through your kitchen cabinets. Everything has to come out. Your beloved husband goes to get the vacuum cleaner for you and you start sucking the crap out of every nook and cranny you can reach.
\n\n\nNext, you crank up the hot water to surface-of-the-sun hot and find whatever potion you have that will kill every living thing within a mile and start scrubbing. Now, here I must interject two things. First, I’ve lived here for seven years and had no idea there was a hole in the top of that cabinet that goes up into the attic and we live in the country so of COURSE there are critters up there. And second, I made the HUGE mistake of announcing to Mr. FixIt that I was going to have to take everything out and there’s too much stuff up there anyway and I’m just going to go through it and get rid of the stuff we haven’t touched since I moved in here, what is it? Oh, yeah… seven years ago this month, totally forgetting WHY we have all that stuff up there in the first place. I no sooner had uttered the words when I realized I’d played my hand WAY too soon, because…
\n\n\n“Well, you’d better let me see what you’re thinking of throwing away first.”
\n\n\nCrap. The death knell to my plans.
\n\n\nSO many words started bubbling up from that place that stores all the frustration sentences but I bit my tongue. I didn’t actually SAY, “Yes, dear.” But it was implied as I got to work. I decided to do this in phases because you don’t change horses in the middle of the stream here. I got an old towel and laid it out on the island. After I washed a load, it went out on the towel to dry. I made a good dent and asked my hubs if he’d like to go out to dinner. I didn’t have the stomach to actually COOK in there until everything has been sterilized within an inch of its life.
\n\n\n“Sure,” he said, brightly. “I have to pick up something at Walmart anyway. We might as well make an evening of it!”
\n\n\nAs we got back from town, I said, “You know, sweetheart. If you pick out what you absolutely cannot part with, I can put the rest in the donation box. THEN, you can pick out FOUR mugs that you actually use. The ones you don’t use but want to keep can be put in a box and stored.” The part my mature brain didn’t say was, “so the kids can throw it out after we’re gone.” However, that is not the hill I wanted to die on so I just let it go. I DID open a cabinet and reminded him we have TWO complete sets of stoneware that we use when we feed the family and there are sixteen mugs that go with them. I think he got my point.
\n\n\nOne of the things I’ve been studying in Noom is how to replace a negative experience with a positive one. It doesn’t just apply to our relationship with food. The Bible tells us that Death and Life are in the power of the tongue. I’m sure we’ve all been guilty of venting our frustrations with our spouse to our closest friends from time to time. There’s a time and place for that, in moderation. You need to watch it, though. Because it can get out of hand quickly and it can destroy a marriage. When I make the choice to see my husband as a fallible human just as I am, I am much more likely to treat him with kindness, compassion, and respect rather than with harsh words and criticism.
\n\n\nI’ve seen the change that comes with replacing a negative experience with a positive one in my marriage. I smile and shake my head at myself sometimes. I’m seventy years old. Why couldn’t I have been this wise when I was just starting my adult life? Ahhhh, the woulda, coulda, shoulda’s don’t do any good. As Maya Angelou said we do what we know and when we know better, we do better. Or, at least we SHOULD.
\n\n\nNow, how many hands are up in the room? Yeah, I thought so. We aren’t alone in this, are we? And, isn’t it nice to know that?
\n\n\n🩵
\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”
\nEphesians 4:32 ESV\n
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\n\n\nNo ads today. Enjoy your Blessed Day!
\n\n", "date_published": "2023-11-12T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2023/11/12/chasing-rabbits.html", "tags": ["Wisdom","Forgiveness","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2023/10/20/old-wives-tales-and-emails.html", "title": "Old Wive’s Tales and Emails From Beyond", "content_html": "\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/b049088986.jpg\")
The Wooly Bear Caterpillar or Wooly Worm
\n\n\nI’m sure you have heard many sayings about the weather. “In like a lion, out like a lamb.” Here in the hills of West Virginia, we put a lot of stock in some of this lore. My grandma used to say if the leaves of a tree turn upside down, rain is coming. There’s some scientific truth to that. When a cold front moves in, hot air rises and the current upward shows the undersides of certain leaves before the rain comes.
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://i0.wp.com/www.marshmallowranch.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/IMG_3057-scaled.jpeg?fit=1024%2C768&ssl=1\")
The Carolina or Giant Wolf Spider, hanging out in the camp restroom.
\n\n\nOne story that intrigues me is that of the wooly bear caterpillar…aka, the wooly worm. Grandma always said there were thirteen weeks of the winter season and there are thirteen rings on a wooly worm. The black rings allegedly indicate harsh weather and the brown predict a milder winter season. I caught this wooly worm out in our field the other day and, if the folk tales are to believed, it looks like we could have a few weeks of mild weather in the middle of winter with harsher conditions in the later half. Let’s remember to revisit that along towards spring, shall we?
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/c3d1bf7487.jpg\")
We had several days of really chilly weather here while we were at the beach. What happens in mid to late October after the first real cold snap is something we all dread. The Stink Bugs and Asian Lady Beetles come out of the woodwork and into your house. Yuck! I noticed several lady beetles around the storm door yesterday and stink bugs have been showing up in and around the camper for a few days now. I’ve heard of home remedies for these things, so I’m going to have to do some research and get after them before I have to get the vacuum out to suck them up by the dozens.
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/1664df108a.jpg\")
Scorpion Fly…I found one of these on my windshield this fall.
\n\n\nSo, as I was writing this, I opened my email program to see if I could find a message I was looking for. As soon as the app opened, I knew something was going on. I have over 60K unread messages in my inbox normally. Yeah, I know…it drives my daughter crazy, but I just can’t be bothered to clean it up all the time. Anyway, the mailbox was flipping like an old black and white TV that needs adjusting. It said it was downloading 16 messages. I waited for them to download and it turns out they were the first emails Mr. Virgo ever sent me back in October of 2005 when we were communicating through match.com!!! The first one that downloaded was from…October 20th!!! 👀 Ok…it’s Halloween season and that’s spooky. But, I smiled and said, “Well, hello there! It’s been a long time since I’ve heard from you!”
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/e90c1657e3.jpg\")
I know there’s a lot of scary and ugly things going on in the world right now. I think this is maybe God’s way of sending a message that would catch my attention. “Just keep your eyes looking upward and do your best to spread My Light and Love to your fellow brethren.” Stay safe out there, my friends. Better times will come…He promised.
\n\n\n🍁
\n\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2023-10-20T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2023/10/20/old-wives-tales-and-emails.html", "tags": ["Faith","God","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2023/10/07/traveling-through-the-old-dominion.html", "title": "Traveling Through the Old Dominion", "content_html": "\n““And it shall come to pass afterward, that I will pour out my Spirit on all flesh; your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, your old men shall dream dreams, and your young men shall see visions.”
\nJoel 2:28 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/81461df7b6.jpg\")
I love the majestic Live Oaks of the south.
\n\n\nWe stayed at Chippokes Plantation State Park in Surry County, Virginia the last two nights. The campground was nice but had I known the B-Loop had paved pads, I would have reserved a site over there. Those sites were far more level. This is a three day weekend so LOTS of families have come out to enjoy summer’s last hoorah! The campground is extremely busy…and a whole lot noisier. But I’d much rather hear the noise of joyful children playing than I would the noise on the television anymore.
\n\n\nThere are several historic buildings here on the plantation. The ones that tugged at my heart were the slave quarters. A previous owner, Albert Jones, moved to Chippokes in 1837 and brought with him at least five enslaved servants to work the tobacco fields on his plantation. Within two decades, the number rose and in 1860, there were 43 individuals descended into slavery on the plantation. It was sobering. Eliza was our tour guide through the mansion. She is a retiree who volunteers to show people through the stately home. She is African American and she related the history to us with a note of solemn reverence. As we drove through the many fields of this massive estate, I held sacred space in my heart for those who were treated as less than human here at the hands of white slave owners. Slavery was a shameful part of our history and must not be forgotten nor repeated.
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/23716d2a16.jpg\")
There were mushrooms everywhere!
\n\n\nWhen we got back to the campground, I cooked a great big pot of spaghetti and sauce. We have enough left over for two meals while we’re on the road. We need to stop at the pharmacy on our way to our campground today. We have had trouble getting this particular prescription refilled before when we traveled to Colorado. Some states consider it a controlled drug and some do not. The problem happens when you try to fill a medication that is controlled in the originating state and not controlled in the receiving state. It really limits your options. I don’t know how people get this medication when they travel full time. I guess we can only be gone for thirty days at a time and have to leave the day we fill the prescription. It is just really frustrating when it’s a medication that is medically necessary for a diabetic, but because of the opioid crisis…even though this is not an opioid…the drug has been reclassified as controlled because people were mixing it with fentanyl or some such thing. I think when this trip is over, I’m going to start a campaign to make medically necessary exceptions to that law because this is ridiculous.
\n\n\nAs we packed up last night, we had a funny thing happen. The handle on the screen door stuck and I could not open the door! Mr. FixIt was on the outside looking at me and I was on the inside looking out at him. We were both so tired we just started laughing. He removed the latch that the door hooks on so neither of us would get stuck inside then we’ll find a way to fix the door or we’ll buy a new latch. They make these things out of plastic and they are not built to last.
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/47b2ca76c1.jpg\")
This land has been farmed for over 400 years. The last owner of the plantation gave it to the Commonwealth of Virginia with the stipulation that it be continually farmed and used for education and the enjoyment of all who come to visit.
\n\n\nWe truly enjoyed the beautiful woods surrounding our campsite the last couple of days and we are looking forward to the soothing sounds of the ocean rocking us to sleep in the coming week. I’ll talk to you soon!
\n\n\n🍁
\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n“I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.””
\nJohn 16:33 ESV\n
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\n\n\nHello October! Cute mug with fall theme…perfect for that cup of hot cocoa!
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/00c1a105c9.jpg\")
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/70e0e1a970.jpg\")
Photo Credit: 9/11Memorial.org
\n\n\nThose of us who were glued to the TV for days will never forget where we were or what we were doing that dreadful day. We must never forget. For those who forget our history are doomed to repeat it. Our world changed that day…one of those pivitol moments where you can never go back to the way it was before. A collective grief. And now, a place rebuilt from the ashes. A place to remember, but also a place to live…the way those lost would want us to live.
\n\n\nLet’s remember the camaraderie we felt toward each other in those weeks and months after the disaster. We can get back to that. Let’s make America KIND again. Let’s bring back HOPE, and LOVE, and PEACE.
\n\n\nPlease.
\n\n\nhttps://www.911memorial.org/connect/commemoration
\n\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2023-09-11T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2023/09/11/remembrance-day.html", "tags": ["Faith","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Memories","Strength"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2023/08/29/formulating-a-vision-of-a.html", "title": "Formulating a Vision of a Sustainable Life", "content_html": "\n“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.”
\nJohn 13:34 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/5067d54eed.jpg\")
We have a 30x40 metal building that sits out back of our house. We pay our taxes on it as well as everything else here at Marshmallow Ranch. Yet, there it sits…full of who knows what. I’ve had ideas for how we could better utilize that space to bring in some income instead of sitting there as an expensive storage closet.
\n\n\nWhen Mr. FixIt and I were driving into town yesterday for yet another doctor’s appointment (they seem to come in waves, don’t they?) I mentioned my idea. I’d love to get the building cleaned up and create an area in at least half of it that could serve as a primitive barn like sales area. Then, we could up-cycle furniture and decorator items, stage them nicely, and sell them.
\n\n\nMarshmallow Ranch could have a sort of home-grown sticks and bricks shop! I wouldn’t want to be open more than say…Fridays and Saturdays…once or twice a month with a bigger “show” in the Spring and the Fall. Think Round Top. Think Junk Gypsies. Think Ree Drummond. I think it would be so cool! And I think I could get Mr. FixIt onboard. He’s a great haggler and we could have fun with it, I think.
\n\n\nIt’s an idea that’s been percolating in the back of my mind since I moved in here. Now that we have Mr. FixIt’s back feeling better, I really think we could do it! We have lots of room here. We could create a gravel parking area across the driveway from the building so there would be ready access. Ooooooh…the wheels are turning! Who know if it will come to fruition…but I feel something coming like that, anyway.
\n\n\nWe had supper at a little country diner we enjoy. We need to mow today…again. Mowing season WILL end…I promise. We just need to keep plugging along and get things done. And now we don’t have to go anywhere all week. Yeah, I know…you’ve heard it all before!
\n\n\nGood news at the doctors, which is always a blessing. She was thrilled at how well I’m doing and we are going to start reducing some of my meds because…I’m down 25 pounds! I feel fabulous. She asked about all the symptoms I was dealing with over the last 2-3 years. When she got to… “How’s your pain?” I had to stop and think. And you what??? I didn’t have any! So, who wants to try Noom with me? I can get you 2 free weeks. I’m not kidding when I say this program is a game changer. It approaches weight loss with education and support as it shares the psychology of why we gained weight in the first place. I love it!
\n\n\nIf you’re interested, use this link: https://noom.com/r/JthjXSfaA
\n\n\nI would be happy to help in any way I can. We aren’t getting younger AND we are getting dangerously close to hibernation season and you know what that means. Baking. And eating!
\n\n\nEnjoy your day, dear friends…and know you are loved!
\n\n\n?
\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n“So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.”
\n1 Corinthians 10:31 NLT\n
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\n\n\nPumpkin Kitty has her own T-Shirt! Check her out at:
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/2dedc43db7.jpg\")
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/9f2deb26b0.jpg\")
I woke up at 5:30 yesterday morning. The sky was just starting to turn pink and I made the mistake of looking at my phone. My post hadn’t gone live, although I checked and double checked. When I went in and looked, it was just sitting there like a truck stuck in the mud. All it took was hitting a button and off it went through the ether. Amazing, isn’t it? Our grandparents wouldn’t know what to think about all this and how we spend our time.
\n\n\nSince my mind was wide awake by this point, I decided to put everything away in the camper and get it ready to haul to a rest area that has a dump station. I finished and had Grace parked in her home campsite by noon. Next up was cleaning and photographing the interior of the Lincoln for the insurance company. I have learned so much from Mr. FixIt about how to BE in the world. There are things I never knew how to do as a doctor’s wife. And even as Mr. Virgo’s wife. He taught me a lot of things, but not mechanical things or other practical daily living things.
\n\n\nMr. FixIt is a unique breed of individual. He’s a West Virginian…born and bred. He’s resourceful. He has worked since he was 7 years old when his father bought a movie theater and put the boys to work sweeping floors and popping corn. He can do anything. In the past, if I ever had to make an insurance claim, I was instructed to get an estimate. I submitted it to the insurance company and they either paid me by check or they paid the body shop. I did not know I could negotiate with the insurance company. I always just took their word for it. But like almost any other financial transaction, this is negotiable.
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/390d90e428.jpg\")
The initial estimate for the car being totaled wasn’t nearly as much as the car is worth. That’s because the adjuster looked at privately owned Lincolns with the same mileage. However, if it were a dealer car, the amount would be much higher. You could EAT off this car’s engine. It in no way looks like a twenty-one year old car. We cleaned it up and took a bazillion pictures to show just how cherry this little Continental really is. Now we send the photos to the insurance company and wait to see what they say. If it’s still not higher, we will insist they send an adjuster to us or we’ll find our own. We will exhaust all avenues because a few thousand dollars means a lot more to me now than it did when I was a Domestic Goddess.
\n\n\nIt’s funny. Now that I’ve turned 70, things are different somehow. I haven’t had an anxiety attack in a year or more. I’m strong and confident and my BS detector is locked and loaded. I’m becoming a force to be reckoned with and that is completely foreign territory for me. I love it!
\n\n\nI’ve always known I was a late bloomer, but I swear I never dreamed I’d just be blooming now!
\n\n\n?
\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n“Joyful is the person who finds wisdom, the one who gains understanding.”
\nProverbs 3:13 NLT\n
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\n\n\nThe most prominent image I have of autumn in West Virginia is walking to school…shuffling my feet through the fallen leaves on the sidewalk. It always felt so cozy and comforting. This mug shows the beautiful colors you can find in… #AlmostHeaven
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/f74a341065.jpg\")
![\"aging](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/738b56eab2.jpg\")
\"We Were Young and Beautiful...Now We Are Just Beautiful!\"
\n\n\nAn old woman came to my door today. I’ve known her since I was in my early twenties. I lost track of her in my thirties. Then, she moved in with us when I was in my early forties. She was usually pretty quiet. She struck me as sad though she never told me that. When I turned fifty-three, I moved away and she didn’t come with me.
\n\n\nI see her every once in a while…more so the last couple of years. She hovers in the background, watching….and waiting. She doesn’t impose. She’s very polite in her waiting. I’ve felt her nearby. I’ve kinda been anticipating a visit.
\n\n\nAnd yesterday…she knocked on my door.
\n\n\nProverbially.
\n\n\nWe had to work on the lawn. The storms are coming hard and heavy every couple of days. It’s making the grass grow and interferes with our ability to mow it. The growth was getting a little out of hand. Along with this grass growing, the hedgerow is creeping incrementally into my mowing space. When it gets to the point that I can’t bend forward and mow under the overhanging branches, it’s time to get out the loppers and do some trimming.
\n\n\nWe have thorny things that grow out there. Multiflora rose. Russian olive. I don’t know what all, but they are insidious and grab at your skin and clothes. I cut a pretty thick branch off and when it came down, I grabbed for it and missed. A sharp bit snagged the skin on the back of my hand and tore my skin like paper.
\n\n\nKnock, knock, knock! Anybody home?
\n\n\nI was shocked. The old woman looked down at my hand…holding it gently in her own.
\n\n\n“There it is.”
\n\n\n“There what is?” I demanded.
\n\n\nShe took out a tissue and slid the paper thin triangle of skin back into place and wiped away the blood. She looked deep into my eyes, as if to size me up. Was I going to cry? Was I going to cuss a blue streak?
\n\n\n“It’s ok. It happens to everyone eventually.” She brushed a wisp of flyaway hair behind my ear, touched the beautiful feather of a red-shouldered hawk I picked up in the field. “They bring you peace, don’t they? The birds.”
\n\n\n“Yes, they do. I won’t mow over one of their feathers if I can help it.” I said, giving her the side eye. I wasn’t exactly thrilled she decided to show up today.
\n\n\n“You have all this beauty around you. Your birds give you the gift of their feathers. You wear your silver crown well, you know. Are you going to let this little thing with your skin get you down?”
\n\n\n“No. It’s just so…shocking, I guess. I’ve taken care of elderly people with fragile skin since before I turned twenty. I just didn’t expect to see it today…on my hand.”
\n\n\n“Well, don’t worry yourself over it. I’ll be nearby to guide you whenever you need me.” She patted me on the back and turned to walk back into the woods.
\n\n\nI watched her fading into the dense foliage. “Wait! Who ARE you???”
\n\n\n“Don’t you know, love. I’m your Guardian Angel. I’ve been with you all these years. You are quite the assignment!”
\n\n\nAhhhhh….of course. I’ve known she was there all along. I’m just really glad she met me in the woods on this sunny Sunday and let me know…aging doesn’t have to be bad or scary. It just…is. The first little tear of fragile skin is as much a right of passage as starting your period or getting your heart broken.
\n\n\nIt’s ok.
\n\n\n?
\n\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2023-08-14T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2023/08/14/the-old-woman.html", "tags": ["Strong Women","Wisdom","Courage","Aging"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2023/08/07/a-respite-at-the-farm.html", "title": "A Respite at The Farm", "content_html": "\n“Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”
\n2 Corinthians 4:16-18 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/025e110c2b.jpg\")
I know how blessed I am to still have time at The Farm. It’s old. The pump on the well isn’t working now. The floor isn’t level and there is evidence of carpenter ants here and there. But no matter what else is going on in my world, when I walk in that back door…it smells exactly as it has since I was brought here the very first time. And that’s been quite a while ago.
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/aafb5abf3e.jpg\")
It smells like old wood. It’s dank and dusty but I run two dehumidifiers to try to keep her old bones dry. And even though I cannot actually smell the red furniture polish Grandma used to use on the wood, my mind tells me this is what it smelled like. I keep gallons of fresh water on hand for heating up to do the dishes. Beans has some big containers of water in the bathroom to use to flush the toilet, but I use my tinkle tank from my camping gear. It works fine.
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/c10bbc7234.jpg\")
I remember when there wasn’t running water here. There may have been a water tank on the side of the house that caught rainwater. That’s what Grandma did the wash with. She heated it up for baths in the galvanized tub that she placed in the middle of the kitchen floor. She used to turn on the gas cook stove to warm up the kitchen so we wouldn’t catch a chill. We had indoor plumbing at home of course. But stepping back in time at Grandma’s house spoke to something primal in me. It was simple and pure and good. It was hard work and sweat and a feeling of accomplishment.
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/4ac8ec6ef3.jpg\")
Sitting on the front porch during a rainstorm yesterday afternoon was better than a dose of medicine for an ache I’ve felt ever since my grandma died. Listening to the wood thrush’s song echoing down the holler. Watching the Eastern Wood PeeWee and the Eastern Phoebe pick the elderberries. Catching sight of a rabbit underneath Grandma’s Rose of Sharon. Picking seed pods from the 4 O’Clocks alongside the house. Rocking gently as the hot and humid day fades into the glorious coolness of the Golden Hour.
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/b5c7cc3370.jpg\")
My children don’t get it. This was just a place to visit for them. A place to tolerate Mom’s obsession for a week or two before heading back to what they defined as civilization. I had the chance to move back here with Daughter #1 when she was about three years old. Instead, I elected to stay in Colorado for two reasons. The first was, Colorado had more educational opportunities than West Virginia did. And the second was, I was self aware enough to know that If I went back when Hubby #1 went, I’d end up back with him and I couldn’t see a positive future with him. So, I stayed out West…hoping one day to return to the home of my heart.
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/80a15167dc.jpg\")
Sitting on this front porch, married to my best buddy from high school, and knowing my girls are happy where they are?
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/97854bcf06.jpg\")
Priceless.
\n\n\n?
\n\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2023-08-07T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2023/08/07/a-respite-at-the-farm.html", "tags": ["West Virginia","The Farm","Wisdom","Farm Life","Memories","Home"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2023/06/17/a-lovely-day-at-home.html", "title": "A Lovely Day at Home", "content_html": "\n“My people will live in peaceful dwelling places, in secure homes, in undisturbed places of rest. Though hail flattens the forest and the city is leveled completely, how blessed you will be, sowing your seed by every stream, and letting your cattle and donkeys range free.”
\nIsaiah 32:18-20 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/da246414e6.jpg\")
Mr. FixIt got a call yesterday from our son inviting him on an outing for Father’s Day. They usually play a round of golf, but he’s not quite up for that yet, so they’re going fishing. He decided to go to town after supper to get bait for his excursion and asked if I wanted to go. As much as I love to go places with him, I wanted to stay home on Thursday and that didn’t happen. So, I passed. He wants to be home with me today to help me pack the camper and truck for my camping trip with the girls, so that’s a fair exchange.
\n\n\nWe’ve had some rain the last week and we’re so grateful. The ground was beginning to crack open because we’ve been so dry. I love those late afternoon, early evening showers that cool things off without being steamy from humidity. I worked most of the day on Marshmallow Ranch Designs and have some cute new things coming….mugs, scarves, garden flags, etc.
\n\n\nI made a yummy meal yesterday of skinless, boneless chicken thighs simmered in a lemon cream sauce with portobello mushrooms and Vidalia onions served over a bed of fluffy quinoa. A side of steamed asparagus rounded out the meal and it really was good. I’m continuing to lose weight gradually and even if it’s just a few ounces, every day has been a new low. Noom has been so easy for me to follow and I’ve learned a lot about the psychology of why I overeat.
\n\n\nI’m an emotional eater and I’m an instant gratification girl. Dicey combo. I want what I want and I want it now. Usually I give up on diets and end up regaining all I’ve lost and then some. This time I really want to do things different. I’ve been reading devotionals about taking the hurry out of life. I’ve always been running on the treadmill of life. Oh, I can spend a considerable amount of time in retreat and chill. But my mind is going a hundred miles an hour so I miss a lot of the here and now.
\n\n\nMindfulness is something I have to work on. Staying present always is a challenge. My ADHD and neurodiverse thinking makes it difficult sometimes. I will have to say, I’ve seen a big difference in my mental clarity since I started Noom, cut out preservatives and additives, and started drinking RYZE. I know “mushroom coffee” sounds really gross, doesn’t it? But I add a little milk, my sweetener of choice, and some of my homemade vanilla extract and it’s really, really good. It kind of tastes like a cafe mocha.
\n\n\nThere are six varieties of mushrooms in RYZE, each with a different purpose. Cordyceps for sustained energy, Reishi for stress relief, Turkey Tail to protect the gut, Lion’s Mane for better focus, Shiitake to support immunity and King Trumpet to fight inflammation. Now, I do not know if Western Medicine would agree with these statements or not, but Eastern Medicine has been around a whole lot longer, and I say…if it doesn’t hurt me, I’ll try it to see if it works.
\n\n\nI’ve been drinking one, sometimes two cups of RYZE every morning when I get up and I have to admit, I am experiencing better mental clarity, word finding has improved, I definitely have more energy and stamina, and my joint pain has markedly decreased. So between that and losing weight with Noom, I’m feeling like a new woman.
\n\n\nI thrive on change. Mr. FixIt avoids change at every turn, so I’m learning how to navigate that while keeping our marriage happy and thriving. I cannot stand sitting and watching TV all day. That’s how I got into this overweight mess in the first place. So, I’m being more proactive in doing things I enjoy and that brings more topics of conversation into our days. And, I find when I’m up and doing things, we end up doing more active “together” stuff. This is all getting better with the relief Mr. FixIt is finding from his back pain. It’s hard to want to get up and do things when you are in pain.
\n\n\nI’ve found whatever I’m doing, it takes as long as it takes so I’m learning to be more gentle with myself. Having just turned 70 years old this week, you would think I’d have had this all worked out by now. But that’s the beauty of life…we never stop learning and we never stop growing as long as we work at it.
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\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n“Let the wise listen to these proverbs and become even wiser. Let those with understanding receive guidance by exploring the meaning in these proverbs and parables, the words of the wise and their riddles.”
\nProverbs 1:5-6 NLT\n
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\n\n\nLife is Like the Ocean…It Goes Up and Down. True words.
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The quilt, tucked in its own little storage box
\n\n\nWe ran to town yesterday for Mr. FixIt’s medical appointment and…as I predicted…it turned into an all day ordeal. I didn’t sleep well because I was afraid we’d sleep through the alarm and I was a little concerned about the procedure he’s going to have done. But the doctor was thorough, knowledgeable, and reassuring so I left confident everything’s going to be fine. He’s done over thirty thousand of these so we’re cool.
\n\n\nAfterward, we went on the hunt for the perfect shirt for Mr. FixIt for the wedding. He’s going to wear his grey sport coat over black pants. We went with a monochromatic look and got a grey shirt. Try as we might, we could not find a white shirt that he liked so grey it is. We walked all over the mall to get our steps in and we were really ready to leave. By that time Mr. FixIt’s back hurt and my feet hurt and we were over it.
\n\n\nWe had to stop at Walmart. It seems we ALWAYS have to stop at Walmart. Gas is cheapest there. I had a prescription to pick up. I dropped Mr. FixIt off at Kohl’s so he could just make EXTRA sure the shirt we bought at Penneys was the best we could find. And it was. I swung back to pick him up and we headed home.
\n\n\nI did a little work on the itinerary for the Colorado trip. I finally have a place lined up where I can store the camper while we are visiting in Denver. Then I needed to renew my Good Sam’s Club and AAA. Their computers were the ones not working right this time so I gave up and came out to the camper to write.
\n\n\nI told you I found a box in which to package the quilt for this weekend. I went to Michael’s and found one of those pretty decorator boxes with handles that look all the world like a small trunk. I eyeballed it and thought about the quilt and how I could fold it and I was absolutely certain it would fit exactly within its confines. Granted, when I got home, I had to fold and refold several times to get it to fit, but it finally went in perfectly. The only thing is, I couldn’t fold it so that the tag was visible. I thought that would be rather pretty. But this will do and as you can see, I got that king-sized quilt in there with a little room to spare!
\n\n\nI’ve been a little off my game here the last couple of weeks. I couldn’t quite put my finger on anything, but I felt antsy, anxious, scared, worried. I know this procedure has been looming, but this was more than that. I felt myself watching Mr. FixIt with a kind of curious fear. I couldn’t for the life of me figure out what it was. I had a rough night Monday so I had a lot of time tossing and turning and working it over in my mind. Then for some reason, the thought…”check the days” fluttered across my mind. I have an app on my phone that calculates the days since an event. When I opened it up and did a little calculating, my fear made perfect sense.
\n\n\nI had Mr. Virgo in my life for a certain number of days before he died. I calculated the approximate days since Mr. FixIt and I started dating and…it’s getting really close to the same number. My subconscious has been hyper-vigilant with worry and fear. Thinking things like, “What would I do if the unthinkable happened…yet again?” “Could I survive that?” What if…what if…what if?
\n\n\nOnce I saw it clearly, I understood what I’ve been doing. I’ve been trying to avoid any and all pain. But that is not living a mindful, present life, is it? The Bible says not to worry about tomorrow today. Tomorrow has enough to worry about all on its own. It also isn’t good for our marriage and it’s not fair to Mr. FixIt. But now that I “get it”, I can correct the path and make things right. It made my heart melt into him and I know for a fact that all is right in our world.
\n\n\nAnniversary reactions are a real psychological phenomenon and while this wasn’t an actual date on the calendar, the body memory of my trauma losing Mr. Virgo somehow knew Mr. FixIt and I have been together just about the same amount of time. Grief is not limited to the actual loss. It weaves its way through every part of your life and pops up…sometimes years later…to give you another layer of your “self” to come to terms with. The mind will do whatever it can to protect itself. I’m grateful the Holy Spirit whispered to my heart and told me to “check the days.” It makes perfect sense to me now.
\n\n\n?
\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n“But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.”
\nLuke 2:19 NIV\n
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\n\n\nEven when it’s been ten years and you think surely you must be completely finished working through grief, you can easily step on that broken rake in the tall grass and it smacks you right between the eyes.
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Budding Peony
\n\n\nI remember the empty feeling when the first Mother’s Day rolled around after my mom died. I didn’t know what to do with my feelings. It’s different now that it’s been nineteen years, but that doesn’t mean my heart doesn’t still ache for my mom. I dreamt of her Friday night. It was nebulous and hazy, but I knew I was with her and my heart was full when I woke up.
\n\n\nThere are many reasons Mother’s Day might be hard for you. Maybe you’re mom’s still here but she’s suffering the ravages of a medical condition. Maybe she has dementia and no longer remembers you. Maybe you’re mom’s alive, but you’ve been estranged and you haven’t spoken in years. Maybe that’s better for you both and you know being involved would just bring more trauma and pain. Maybe you didn’t know your mom at all and you just want these warm, fuzzy Hallmark holidays to be over with. Maybe you couldn’t have babies or you chose not to. Maybe your babies are furry and funny and full of unconditional love for you.
\n\n\nI remember after losing my mom, other people being showered with love on their special day made me so jealous. And angry. I don’t think my mom should have died the way she did. I think it was preventable, but I didn’t do anything about it because my aunt talked me out of pursuing any legal avenues. So I was left to do what we women do. I picked myself up by the bootstraps and moved forward without her.
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/e2f98379c9.jpg\")
“Wanda Belle”
\n\n\nEvery Sunday evening, I still think of calling her. We spoke often, but Sunday evenings were sacrosanct. Our conversations were almost exclusively about her and my brother’s health. When they’d been to the doctor last. What new medicine they were on. It used to frustrate me because it was so depressing. But here’s the deal. You have no idea how that silent eye rolling will come back to bite you many years later. I catch myself doing the same thing from time to time and I apologize. If it’s nothing the girls can do anything for, there’s no reason to burden them with all that kvetching. My youngest said, “Mom…don’t apologize. We talk about what’s going on in our lives and you are in a place where medical appointments start ticking upward. You talk about what you’re doing. It’s perfectly normal.”
\n\n\nI love my girls. I haven’t always been the best mom. But I’ve been the best mom I could be with the knowledge I had at the time. And, like Maya Angelou said…when I knew better, I did better. I hope my girls understand that.
\n\n\nI hope you are blessed this Mother’s Day. I hope you find peace wherever you are on the Motherhood Spectrum.
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\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n“As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you...””
\nIsaiah 66:13 NIV\n
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\n\n\nNo ads on Sundays to honor the Lord’s Day. I pray your day is filled with peace, love, and comfort.
\n\n", "date_published": "2023-05-14T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2023/05/14/mothers-day-isnt-always-easy.html", "tags": ["Grief","Comfort","Love","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2023/04/13/a-trip-to-the-farm.html", "title": "A Trip to The Farm", "content_html": "\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/388d84b692.jpg\")
My grandma was rolling in her grave yesterday…I mowed the grass while her beloved Johnny-Jump-Ups were still in bloom. She loved every tiny precious flower that God gave her. She would NOT be happy with me!
\n\n\nWell, the taxes didn’t do me in this year. Neither did the banking or starting a new business in uncharted territory. Nope…what got me was Facebook Marketplace. You know we have the Big Birdhouse up for sale. We put it on Marketplace about a month ago which, in hindsight was probably a bit early. I’m kind of a novice when it comes to selling on FB. Apparently, if your item doesn’t sell in a certain amount of time, you can renew your ad but only for a certain number of times. Here’s a little tidbit of info I didn’t know…if you go in and edit your listing, it counts as one of your times. Who knew?
\n\n\nWe dropped the price…that counted. I added photos…that counted. Then when it reposted…only the first 1.5 sentences remained. I went in twice to try to fix that and used up the rest of my nine lives apparently because I finally got a message that said I could not renew. Go figure. This was actually on Tuesday night. So I waited till yesterday morning to repost. For some reason…my laptop was extraordinarily slow. I mean, creeping. I was trying to get something to work…anything! And it just spun its little wheels. I think the little guy who lives in my computer was kicked back with his boots up on his desk because this was a no go.
\n\n\nI was growling so loud Mr. FixIt finally asked what I was doing. When I told him, he said he saw the ad back on there early this morning. Grrrrr. I asked him to show me, but it was for a specific website…not the blanket, overall, everyone-can-see-it Marketplace. So, I went back to work. After another hour, my sweetheart asked me if I was ready to go to The Farm to mow…which apparently, he was. He suggested I bring my laptop with us and try at the farm. The internet is faster there.
\n\n\nWe arrived and unloaded the push mower and weed eater and I went up to the barn to get the tractor. We had all kinds of trouble with it last year. It was really hard to start. I mentioned this to Frank and Beans…the new owners. They worked on the tractor and, lo and behold…that thing started up the first try! Finally…something was going my way! The yard is only about 3/4ths of an acre at the farm, so comparatively speaking…it is a piece of cake. Well, MY part is. Mr. FixIt runs the push mower in the ditch out front and a few areas the tractor can’t get to. Then he does some weed eating.
\n\n\nWe finally finished and sat on the porch to enjoy our JR’s Pepperoni Rolls and a soft drink. It was up in the 80’s yesterday and we were beat. After lunch, I sat down with the laptop to try to knock out the new Marketplace ad. The clinker was…all the photos were on the iPad and my phone. They’re Apple…I’m old school and kept my PC…they don’t talk to each other. It didn’t matter anyway because my laptop was still having a hissy fit and refusing to cooperate.
\n\n\nI’d say, “To make a long story short” but that horse is out of the barn, now isn’t it?
\n\n\nIt turns out, the cleanup program I thought was working in the background…wasn’t. Let me see if I can explain what happened with an analogy. Let’s say you have a funnel with a small opening and you’re pouring sand in a bottle. It works great till there’s too much sand then the funnel fills up and nothing is moving. Well, essentially my bottle was full. So full, as a matter of fact, I couldn’t even open the program to let out that pesky sand. Finally…I started making a little progress when Mr. FixIt indicated it was time to go home.
\n\n\nBreathe. I choose to love him. I choose to love him. I choose to love him.
\n\n\nI put him off as long as I could then finally closed up shop and headed out the back door. On a whim, I turned on the faucet in the kitchen to check the water…and there was none! We had a couple of long power outages with those windstorms two weeks ago so when the pump was off, we lost the prime. When the power came back on, there was no water in the pump and it ran on and on for who knows how long. We didn’t have the tools, the time, or the energy to prime it so I just unplugged the darned thing. We’ll prime it the next time we go out to mow…probably next week before we head to the beach.
\n\n\nWhen we got home, I finished cleaning the junk out of my computer and managed to get the photos I needed on the laptop. By that time it was after 9:00 last night and I still needed to write my post. I gently closed the laptop, thanked God for the blessings and opportunities of the day. With a kiss and a hug for Mr. FixIt, I headed out to the peace and quiet of the camper to write.
\n\n\nElectronics. Machines. The Internet. They’re all supposed to work. And when they don’t, we have a choice. Pitch a fit, or count our blessings. We can’t control the things that happen to us, but we CAN control how we react to them. There’s always a teachable moment in every situation.
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\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n“Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do.”
\nJames 1:22-25 NIV\n
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\n\n\nWhen things begin to pile up and you find yourself getting frustrated or angry…choose JOY, Joy can pull you out of a lot of dark places.
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A storm was brewing when we got home last evening. A cold front came in and ran smack dab into the balmy 87° heat we had in the afternoon!
\n\n\nWell, I told you it would be a long day and I was right. It was 9:30 last night before I finally sat down to write my post. We left the house at 11:00 yesterday morning. The medical appointments always take longer than expected. While mine was shorter than usual, it’s still a long wait. Mr. FixIt walked around the mall to keep himself occupied. We went to lunch and had Wendy’s salads between the appointments.
\n\n\nI saw my dermatologist yesterday for my annual whole body skin check. I had a melanoma removed from my arm in 2005, so I have to be diligent with my checkups. She was pleased with the condition of my face. I had a yeast overgrowth last year and between the ointment she prescribed and washing my face with dandruff shampoo really helped. I think using an Optase wipe once a week helped too because it has tea tree oil in it. She did notice some dryness and didn’t think the Cerave Daily Moisturizer with SPF was enough so she added Lipikar Balm AP+ twice a day. I put it on last night after I washed my face and my skin sucked it up like unpainted drywall! It feels nice on my skin and it’s not heavy or greasy. It’s over the counter, too. It doesn’t have sunscreen so I still need to use the Cerave.
\n\n\nAging skin isn’t something to trifle with…especially if you were a sun worshiper who eschewed sunscreen and used tanning beds like I did. I have those spots on my skin that are more than freckles. My mom’s generation called them liver spots, sun spots, age spots, or solar lentigines. Sounds appropriately icky, doesn’t it? Almost all of them are benign. However, you start getting into a dicey area when you have actinic keratoses. These are precancerous and can turn into squamous cell carcinoma. Every time I see my dermatologist, I get two or three of them frozen. Yesterday was no different. I’ve had a stubborn one on the back of my hand that we’ve frozen several times. She froze that one good and hard as well as one on the back of my arm and in my hairline on my temple. That was a stinger!
\n\n\nMy skin has changed so much in the last ten years. I have spots on my torso and I told her I am turning 70 in June. I lamented that I had “old lady skin.” She said, “You are NOT old! Those are your wisdom spots!” So just like my rapidly graying hair, the spots threatening to turn my body into a connect-the-dots puzzle are merely an outward sign of my inner crone waking up! In olden times, our elders were revered for the treasure trove of knowledge they carried with them. I say…let’s normalize aging. Let’s revere the elders for the repository of information that they are and elevate them with care and respect.
\n\n\nSaying this now seems to intimate I didn’t care before. I did. But now, it seems more pressing and I’m acutely aware of my short-comings. Let’s teach the new generations how to respect our elders by emulating good behaviors. Even though we are “of a certain age” we still have elders out there…just not as many. It’s never too late to reach back and teach those coming up the ranks to be better people.
\n\n\nSo, get your skin checked and wear sunscreen daily, my friends. You’ll thank me later!
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\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n“Beloved, I pray that all may go well with you and that you may be in good health, as it goes well with your soul.”
\n3 John 1:2 ESV\n
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\n\n\n“A lovely item with a delicious scent. Thank you!” ~ P.S.
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One of the greatest joys of motherhood is when your adult child texts and asks how you cooked a dish they loved in their childhood. In an instant, you travel back to the kitchen of their youth. The sounds of their little feet running through the kitchen and hugging your legs as you do the dishes. The smell of the chocolate chip cookies fresh from the oven and the look on their faces when their nose leads them to your side. The sight of the top of their head as they read or talk on the phone with a friend.
\n\n\nPriceless memories come flooding back at the simplest of requests. This week it was how long to bake the homemade chicken pot pie I used to make. After I gave her the recipe, I added that I made a couple great pasta dishes last week if she’d like to have those as well. When my phone dinged, I picked it up and smiled.
\n\n\n“Those sound great!”
\n\n\nI raised my first child as I was growing up myself. How she got through my ineptitude, I’ll never know…other than the fact that she has good genes and great grandmas. I was way too much Chicken Little and far to little Eleanor Roosevelt. I think the one thing I stressed the most to her was to believe in herself and trust her gut. She has turned into one of the strongest and most level headed women I’ve ever known. She is her dad’s daughter. Her sister is my clone.
\n\n\nWhenever Daughter #1 is faced with a trying situation…one that would make me crumble in a puddle of anxiety, she just seems to glide through it calm and steady. I asked her once how she does that. She said it was simple. She just doesn’t have the bandwidth to freak out about every little thing. She doesn’t borrow tomorrow’s worry. She gauges what she can do about it in the moment, she sees that it’s done in the moment, then she’ll re-evaluate as needed.
\n\n\nAmazing!
\n\n\nI actually have learned a lot from her in the last couple of years. WWJD has a double meaning for me. What would Jesus do? And…What would J**** do? Convenient that their names both start with J and have five letters. Lately, I’ve taken to thinking those two questions before I head down a spiral of anxiety and it’s really paying off.
\n\n\nYou’ve heard me talk about my dear friend, Gail. Well, last night Gail texted me and said there was a fire nearby…they could see flames. BIG flames. As the reports came in, it turned out to be the fiery train derailment that occurred in East Palestine, Ohio around 9:00PM Eastern Time. This happened about a mile from their house. We chatted back and forth throughout the evening till quite late. Every time my tummy would start to feel the vaguest sensation of butterflies, I would remind myself not to borrow tomorrow’s worries and deal with what I could do something about.
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The only thing I could do was listen, love, and pray that God would protect my friends. I was so grateful to learn yesterday morning that no one had been injured, and it didn’t look like there was any immediate health threat to the populace. We seem to go on cruise control, don’t we? We never know when the boat is going to be rocked and threaten to spill us out into chaos. Thank God things weren’t any worse.
\n\n\nI spent yesterday working on this project and had some major break throughs. Sometimes I just have to let a process marinate in my head for a time then all of a sudden, it clicks and all the pieces start to fall into place. When it did, I wanted to stand up and do the happy dance. Instead, I made a big pot of spaghetti and celebrated over a yummy dinner with Mr. FixIt!
\n\n\nToday, I’m taking the day off to rest. We’ll watch church online, have a nice brunch, and I’ll knit while Mr. FixIt watches TV and naps gently in his Big Red Chair. The past three mornings have been sunny and gorgeous. Let’s hope we get a fourth!
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\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n“There remains, then, a Sabbath-rest for the people of God; for anyone who enters God’s rest also rests from their works, just as God did from his.”
\nHebrews 4:9-10 NIV\n
#Rest, #Sabbath, #Wisdom
\n\n", "date_published": "2023-02-05T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2023/02/05/finding-wisdom-from-my-child.html", "tags": ["Gratitude","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2023/01/25/still-learning-about-this-life.html", "title": "Still Learning About This Life Thing", "content_html": "\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/4969f4992c.jpg\")
Do you all get as tired of cooking as I do? My sweetheart has been picking up the slack while I’ve been working at my desk. It is very much appreciated!
\n\n\nI’m developing a routine. We kinda sleep in and have a nice breakfast, then I take my tea down to my “studio” in the basement and get to work. What I’m doing has a learning curve and at first I thought I might be past my prime to take on such an undertaking. However, I am pleasantly surprised to note that the longer I’m at this, the sharper my memory is. I’m staying focused for hours where even just a week ago I was having trouble. That is encouraging on so many levels. It makes the old adage “use it or lose it” really mean something.
\n\n\nThe little space heater is under the desk keeping me toasty…except for my hands. For some reason, there is cold air blowing on one corner of the desk and my hands were freezing. I put on one of those fluffy hoodies that I bought at Christmas for all the girls and it did the trick. It has a pouch pocket on the front so I just put my hands in there and warmed them up from time to time. Between that and nice hot mugs of tea…I was good to go.
\n\n\nI kept busy at my desk all day for a reason. It gave me the opportunity to remember my mom and my Aunt Rosie without getting verklempt. I will miss my aunt and our fun conversations. And I always miss my mom. So, when I was finished at the desk, I came upstairs and called Daughter #1 for a nice long video chat. That did my heart a world of good. It was like a warm hug.
\n\n\nI miss my kids being so far away. They are all so busy with their own lives. I only get to Colorado once a year, so these video visits are necessary for this mama’s heart. I think about the technology available today. Video chats were a lifesaver during the worst of the pandemic. Everything from welcoming new babies to sitting in on a funeral…from cooking “with” your grands to reading books with the great grands…things like FaceTime and Skype were irreplaceable.
\n\n\nI have to rely on phone calls with my brother. He has such a hard time keeping his phone handy…he’s all the time “losing” it. I have no idea where, but I did have them put a landline in his apartment and he has a roommate now that is good about getting him to the phone. That makes a huge difference in our ability to communicate.
\n\n\nI’m not sure when we’ll make our next trip out west. We have an outdoor wedding here at Marshmallow Ranch in May for one of my bonus grandkids. Another gets married in June. We might wait till September when the kids go back to school to avoid the crowded campgrounds. We’ll see. I know in April we go to the beach to our timeshare and my bonus son and his wife are joining us this year. They are so fun to travel with!
\n\n\nThat’s all the news for the day, my friends. I used some of the tools in my “Grief Tool Box” yesterday and they really helped me. In the midst of it all, I found out one of the grands was sick and my Nana-brain started to send me down the rabbit hole of anxiety but I reminded myself not to spend any energy on worrying about tomorrow. Today has enough of it’s own to deal with.
\n\n\nHa! Maybe I will get this whole “life” thing figured out after all!
\n\n\n?
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2023-01-25T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2023/01/25/still-learning-about-this-life.html", "tags": ["Grief","Peace","Wisdom","Anxiety"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/11/28/self-care-isnt-selfish.html", "title": "Self Care Isn’t Selfish", "content_html": "\n“Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.”
\nPhilippians 4:6-7 MSG\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/5c7a63e7f8.jpg\")
Actor Jonah Hill interviews his therapist, psychiatrist Phil Stutz in this touching and eye-opening documentary on Netflix…Stutz.
\n\n\nLast week I had a moment. I was burning the candle at both ends, running on little sleep, and trying to put on a memorable Thanksgiving Extravaganza. Then I hit the wall on Thursday and, even though there was SO much left to be done for Friday’s gathering, I gave myself permission to crawl back in my bed, pull the cozy covers up to my ears, and drift off for a few more hours of much needed rest. I sacrificed the extra baking by asking Mr. FixIt to stop on his way home from town and buy readymade pies. I knew the rest would get done and if it didn’t…it certainly wasn’t the end of the world. As it turned out, everything came together at precisely the right moment and came off without a hitch.
\n\n\nSelf care isn’t selfish. It’s imperative that we take care of our health…physical, spiritual, and mental. Without it, there is no moving forward. If there is anything good to have come out of the pandemic, it is an increased awareness of mental health struggles. I think we all can watch the news and social media interactions and see a great number of people aren’t at their best right now. It’s frankly a little scary to see systems we always trusted to run somewhat smoothly break down in the most unexpected ways.
\n\n\nThe people we have in our lives are there for a reason. There is a lot of truth to the adage that people are put in your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Some just come to share information. Some are there to teach us lessons. The ones I find most valuable to me are the ones who hold up a mirror and reflect back to me who I am in any given moment. We change, we grow, we move on. But sometimes, we remain stuck, trying to change the outcome of something which is futile. The past is unchangeable. It’s what we do with the information and the lessons that propel us forward that count most.
\n\n\nHubby #2 and I went through a lot. We both had wounds that we recognized in each other. In our naïveté, we came together thinking we would heal each other and be together for the rest of our lives. That isn’t how it worked out. And there was a terrible amount of angst involved in the unraveling. I sank into a deep clinical depression and for a variety of reasons, was nearly doctored to death trying to come out of it. It took a long, l-o-n-g time for both of us to evolve enough to have deep conversations. I cannot speak for him, but for me, it offered the healing I longed for but just couldn’t reach while we were together.
\n\n\nA week or so ago, Hubby #2 sent me a message and recommended I watch a documentary on Netflix called Stutz. It’s directed by the actor, Jonah Hill and is about his therapist, Dr. Phil Stutz. This is groundbreaking. For a therapist to allow himself to be so vulnerable as to open up the way he did in front of the camera was remarkable. It demonstrated the profound trust the two of them have for one another. Jonah extols the virtues of Dr. Stutz’s teachings and credits the tools he learned in therapy for saving his life.
\n\n\nWhen I lost Mr. Virgo, I got through it…perhaps easier is not the right word. It’s more like I had been through such a terrible loss at the end of my marriage, the resultant therapy facilitated a grief journey I was much better prepared for. Had it happened the other way around, I am fairly certain I would not have survived my husband’s death. I had a lot more tools in my toolbox. But nothing quite so well articulated as the tools Dr. Stutz taught Jonah.
\n\n\nI decided to wait till after Thanksgiving to watch Stutz. And, I preferred to watch it alone. I knew it would stir up lots of memories and feelings and I wanted to process that without having to share it in front of Mr. FixIt. There are private moments of grief that we don’t necessarily need to share with anyone else. That’s ok. As I waited for the right moment, I wondered if Dr. Stutz had written a book. I checked online and, indeed he did. He wrote a book with Barry Michels called The Tools…5 tools to help you find courage, creativity, and willpower and inspire you to live life in forward motion. I immediately ordered it and it arrived the day before Thanksgiving.
\n\n\nMr. FixIt went to town last night to hang with his bowling buddies and I knew it was my moment to watch the film. I was entranced. I stopped, rewound, paused to reflect, and started again. The 90+ minute film took me nearly three hours to get through. I want to watch it again…at least once…before I delve into the book. I absorbed a lot of it, but the biggest takeaway was this.
\n\n\nNo one gets it right. The whole of life is a process and you will mess it up royally, but that doesn’t matter as much as simply learning to move forward through it.
\n\n\nThese are difficult times we’re in right now. Empathy and compassion seem to be in short supply these days and any tools we can find to help us navigate the rough waters of life are blessings. I picture a world where the tools spread from one person to another to make a great wave of healing. Yes…God is the ultimate physician and God can heal us of anything and everything. And…God can touch the minds of brilliant people and inspire them to great insights into the human condition that can help people cope. That’s what I felt in this film…because it came from a place of pure, authentic love and respect.
\n\n\nIf you get a chance, do give it a watch. There are a few coarse words in the conversations between Jonah and Stutz, but it doesn’t take away from the message overall. I’ll let you know what I think of the book when I get through it. In the meantime, remember…take care of yourselves. And each other.
\n\n\n?
\n\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2022-11-28T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/11/28/self-care-isnt-selfish.html", "tags": ["Health","Overcoming Obstacles","Wisdom","Change","Healing","Anxiety","Mental Health"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/11/04/money-money-money-money.html", "title": "Money Money Money MONEY", "content_html": "\n“Is it not to share your bread with the hungry and bring the homeless poor into your house; when you see the naked, to cover him, and not to hide yourself from your own flesh? Then shall your light break forth like the dawn, and your healing shall spring up speedily; your righteousness shall go before you; the glory of the Lord shall be your rear guard. Then you shall call, and the Lord will answer; you shall cry, and he will say, ‘Here I am.’ If you take away the yoke from your midst, the pointing of the finger, and speaking wickedness, if you pour yourself out for the hungry and satisfy the desire of the afflicted, then shall your light rise in the darkness and your gloom be as the noonday. And the Lord will guide you continually and satisfy your desire in scorched places and make your bones strong; and you shall be like a watered garden, like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail. And your ancient ruins shall be rebuilt; you shall raise up the foundations of many generations; you shall be called the repairer of the breach, the restorer of streets to dwell in.”
\nIsaiah 58:12 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/f2ebdf41d4.jpg\")
Ugh! The thing I hate talking about the most is money. I was never good with money. Well, let me rephrase that. I was never good at SAVING money. I was most excellent at SPENDING it…especially when it wasn’t me that was working my butt off to make it. Hard to admit, but there it is. I used shopping as a self-soothing medication that got way out of hand on numerous occasions. When I think of how much money I’d have now if I hadn’t done that… *sigh*
\n\n\nWater under the bridge, as they say. I used to worry myself to death over money…or the lack thereof. That is before my wonderful finance guru Danielle taught me the concept of stewardship. God graces us with the jobs and the money and the stuff but we have to suit up, show up, and do the work. The better the steward we are, the more trustworthy we become, the more bounty we can be trusted with. Doesn’t mean we’re going to GET that bounty. But it doesn’t mean we aren’t either.
\n\n\nI go long stretches without spending much. Then, there are days like yesterday when it gets spent for me. What is it they say about only counting on two things…death and taxes? Yeah, well…yesterday it was the tax man…actually woman…who absconded with our hard earned dollars. That’s the price you pay for owning stuff.
\n\n\nI never really understood personal property taxes. I mean…we earned the money and paid taxes on it. We spend the money and pay sales taxes on the money we were already taxed on. Then, every year I have to go to the county courthouse and pay personal property taxes on the stuff we already own and have paid taxes on…twice! Ok, I get it…someone has to pay for the roads and maintenance and whatever else we are supporting with those tax dollars. But it chaps my hide anyway.
\n\n\nSo, I go in to pay my personal property taxes and they nice lady in the tax office said the last year I had taxes entered in the computer was 2019. Seriously? I could have sworn I paid them but apparently not. See, there’s this thing called a supplement. In July every year, the tax office send out this paper that has your vehicles and/or trailers, campers, boats, etc. listed. It asked you if you currently own them. You send that in and two things happen…your info triggers next year’s supplement and you information is what your personal property taxes will be based on two years from now.
\n\n\nYeah…clear as mud, right?
\n\n\nI know it’s confusing. It’s taken me years to have any semblance of understanding. When I lived in Colorado, you paid your personal property taxes when you get the tags on your vehicles, campers, trailers, and the like. I don’t know…somehow it felt less painful that way. Here in West Virginia, you go pay your taxes and then you take that receipt with you to the DMV and pay for your registration. I don’t have a good track record for filling out that supplement form so I kinda got dropped off the rolls.
\n\n\nThat would seem to be pretty sweet. However, somewhere down the line, you’re going to have to pay the piper and you could end up owing a really hefty tax bill. As it was, I had to fork out over $750 for two years’ worth of personal property taxes plus $51 for the registration fee. THEN, I got to take my truck in to the garage to get the yearly vehicle inspection…$15. Oooof.
\n\n\nThere was a huge upside to this little adventure.
\n\n\nI got to meet Dee. She doesn’t usually work in the tax office. She works across the street. But here she was, manning the desk and blessing my day. It wasn’t 5-10 minutes into our interacting that I knew…this was my God appointment for the day. We had a lovely conversation about personal issues we both face. I shared Marshmallow Ranch with her and invited her to come join us in cyberspace for a daily dose of love and light. I feel like I made a new friend. We shared our light and I have a feeling we both felt a lot better afterwards.
\n\n\nWhen I wrote yesterday about shining our light into the world, it was exactly this I was referring to. The world has a lot of darkness in it right now. But there is also so much light. You and I cam bring so much more. We can shine it into every dark corner…every nook and cranny…up high and down low. Eventually, the vibrations of our very existence will be enough to change the world….for good.
\n\n\nI mean FOR good…for GOOD!
\n\n\nI had a spring in my step the rest of the day. I didn’t even get a chance to sit down in the DMV…they took me that fast. There wasn’t a wait at the garage. I was in and out of there in fifteen minutes. I came home and fixed a lovely supper of Chicken Alfredo which we thoroughly enjoyed. We nibbled on those peanut butter cookies for dessert. The high was 76° yesterday and sunny. It was a picture perfect day to be a good steward and take care of business.
\n\n\nAnd share a little light.
\n\n\n?
\n\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2022-11-04T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/11/04/money-money-money-money.html", "tags": ["Faith","God","Wisdom","Choices","Insight"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/09/28/teach-us-to-number-our.html", "title": "Teach Us to Number Our Days", "content_html": "\n“for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light (for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true), and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord.”
\nEphesians 5:8-10 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/a8b01d9735.jpg\")
There was a time when the memories of Mr. Virgo and me that pop up on FB would make me cry. They don’t any more. Nearly always, they make me smile. They bring a flood of warmth and a reminder of what an amazing life I lead…then and now. These are good things. This shows healing, grace, mercy, and personal growth.
\n\n\nAs I looked through my Facebook feed last night, I stumbled upon a memory from exactly eleven years ago. Even before Mr. Virgo’s passing, I was becoming more aware how finite our time on this Earth really is. I can’t say that I “knew” our time together would be short because I never really let myself think about that. I was very busy living in the here and now. That being said…and hindsight being 20/20…I must have had some deep feeling about it. Because, I wrote this:
\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\nLife's \"Sweet Treat\" of the Day: Actually, this is from last night. [Mr. Virgo] and I always go to sleep like two spoons in a drawer. Since I've been adjusting to my new schedule, I sometimes go to bed before him and it can be easy to fall asleep and not make that spoon. Last night I was drifting off and a thought came to me. What if this was the last day we were together and God took one of us home? How would I feel the next day if I'd missed the opportunity? Needless to say...a spoon was made! Don't ever miss those golden moments you can share while you have your loved one by your side!
\nWritten September 2011\n
Mr. Virgo died in March 2013.
\n\n\nThis is as much…if not more so…a teaching moment about the fragility of life. The Bible tells us we will not know the number of days in our life. Therefore, it is imperative to make sure each one of those days count. I am human. I can easily become complacent and forget my own warning. I sometimes get caught up in the minutia of living. The mowing. The cooking. The cleaning. We all get caught up in the petty annoyances of sharing life with another human being…especially in the Age of Covid when we are thrust together 24/7/365.
\n\n\nI know for a fact that many of you are on your own now. Widowed. Divorced. Single by choice or alone by chance…either way, we can be reminded too late of those woulda-shoulda-couldas. If, God forbid, my sweet Mr. FixIt should pass before me, I don’t want to wish I would have told him more often how much he means to me. I don’t want to remember a hurt look or a neglected moment.
\n\n\nWe can’t be “on” all the time, but we can certainly make a more concerted effort to keep our relationships fresh and healthy, alive and hopeful, honored and respected. That is my vow today as I reread these words I wrote over a decade ago…to be a better person to this fellow human with whom I share a life. We all deserve that.
\n\n\nWe went to the farm yesterday to mow. It sorely needed it, but the grass is petering out as the season wanes. My guess is, there won’t be but a time or two more and we’ll be done with it for the year. As we drove there, we came around a curve and there was an Animal Control Officer in his truck parked crosswise…lights flashing. Beyond him, a young woman led a number of horses down the center of the road making a right turn up a driveway. Someone’s horses got loose. I whispered “Thank you, Jesus!” I was so grateful they weren’t there in the road, in a blind turn.
\n\n\nWe ran to town after we finished mowing to have the oil changed in the truck. The brakes started shimmying a little which indicates the rotors are a little warped. They’ll need rotated but they can’t get to it till we get back. It won’t hurt anything driving to our campsite today. We still have plenty of brake pad left. It makes me wonder if I need to adjust the trailer brakes to grab a little bit more. I can to that today when we hitch up the camper to leave.
\n\n\nThe temperature was predicted to be 41° last night. The highs while we are camping this week will be in the 60’s and the lows in the 40’s every night. When we were waiting for the truck to be finished in the automotive department at Walmart last evening, we shopped and bought three essentials for the trip…a toaster, an electric tea kettle, and a small ceramic heater. As I’m writing this, I’m very glad I have that little heater. There is a propane furnace in the camper, but it gives off an odor and it was a touch smoky when it was in use. Mr. FixIt assures me that’s because it hadn’t been used yet. Either way, the ceramic heater is not as noisy, there is no odor, and why use up our propane when we can use the electric we are paying for at the campground?
\n\n\nWe have camped at this campground before, however I cannot remember what the cell service was like so if for some reason I can’t get a post scheduled…I’ll be back in civilization on Saturday.
\n\n\n?
\n\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2022-09-28T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/09/28/teach-us-to-number-our.html", "tags": ["Love","Wisdom","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/04/12/boosted.html", "title": "Boosted 2.0", "content_html": "\n“So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.”
\nPsalm 90:12 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/94c8085b6b.jpg\")
I had to stop the mower and get down on the ground to take a picture of this sweet violet. Grandma called them Johnny-Jump-Ups and she would NOT let anyone cut her grass till they were gone!
\n\n\nWe are heading to the beach soon for our yearly week at the condo. We’ve been watching the news reports for the prevalence of covid and trying to decide when to jump on the bandwagon and get that second booster. We’ve seen the numbers double since the mandates were eased and, while that is not entirely unexpected, it does hearken back to the possibility of history repeating itself. Mr. FixIt and I both have health issues that cause us to be extra cautious. Since we’ll be headed to a tourist destination, we decided to go ahead and get that booster yesterday.
\n\n\nIt was really easy. I went to vaccines.gov and typed in our zip code, chose the type of vaccine we wanted and where we wanted to get it, and the site directed us to the pharmacy website. There I made both of our appointments and were quickly scheduled for 3:00 in the afternoon. It was raining and chilly when we left the house so I wore a heavy sweater. Once we checked in at the pharmacy, we had to wait a few minutes. It was REALLY warm in there and I quickly knew I needed to get out of that sweater so I went over to the clothing rack and bought a black tunic-type shirt. Ahhh…much better!
\n\n\nThe pharmacist was an expert with the needle and I didn’t even feel it. I was happy to see he injected in the right spot so I didn’t have to correct him. A lot of people who give shots do so far too high on the arm which can actually cause a joint injury. I have absolutely no qualms telling someone the exact spot to inject. It was nice that I didn’t have to this time. Kudos to CVS!
\n\n\nI think the boosters are important, and if it wasn’t for the upcoming trip, I might have waiting till a little later on in the summer to get it. But we not only have the trip to the beach, but I’m heading to Colorado next month. There’s the travel, the parties, and the graduation gathering itself, as well as any number of social situations I may find myself in while I’m there. Also, I’ll be going to visit my brother. He had covid in February and I prefer he not get it again.
\n\n\nI was hoping we could get the mowing done out at the farm this week. There is a small window on Wednesday without rain so we’re going to shoot for that. If we can’t get it done, it will have to wait till we get back from the beach.
\n\n\nI knitted a little yesterday. I finished another hat and have one toddler sized mitten nearly finished. I’ll take my knitting with me on the trip. It’s so fun to sit out on the beach, but so far, the weather report is showing 60’s with a fair amount of rain. I don’t know how much beach sitting we’ll get this year. Today is knitting group. As long as I’m not feeling effects of the vaccine, I’m planning on going.
\n\n\n?
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2022-04-12T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/04/12/boosted.html", "tags": ["Health","Positive Energy","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/01/26/the-politics-of-death-in.html", "title": "The Politics of Death in a Digital Age", "content_html": "\n“Behold, I will bring to it health and healing, and I will heal them and reveal to them abundance of prosperity and security.”
\nJeremiah 33:6 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/ffde5da4d8.jpg\")
I didn’t know Bub personally. I’d never spoken to him. I didn’t know his last name or where he lived or if he had a family. All I knew of this scruffy-bearded man in the Hoss Cartwright Stetson was the way his eyes crinkled when he smiled and tipped his brim when you drove by. The way he held the measuring rod in his hand, leaning on it like the staff of Moses, as he stood by the open manhole cover. Bub’s work brought him into the eyes of countless drivers over the years as we passed by the crew he worked with.
\n\n\nI was scrolling through Facebook yesterday and there was his picture in a post with the caption, “So Long, Santa Bub.” He’d been such a fixture of my forty years in the Glenwood Springs area, I guess I expected him to just always be there. Like the Hot Springs Pool and Doc Holiday’s Grave. Enduring and iconic. And now, he was gone like so many others we have lost in the last couple of years.
\n\n\nI think death is striking so much closer to home since the pandemic started two years ago. Even if it doesn’t hit our inner circle, it’s omnipresence has been overwhelming. We’ve kind of gotten numb to the weekly announcements, either on the national or local news or on our social media newsfeeds. Along with becoming numb, some have become somewhat complacent in the social mores surrounding acceptable ways of announcing someone’s death.
\n\n\nWhen we lost one of my dearest friends and fellow classmates last month, a well meaning person posted on our class page the “RIP, dear friend” post we have all become accustomed to seeing of late. I took issue with this because, I knew for a fact it hadn’t been more than a handful of hours since our friend was discovered unresponsive in her home and her only grandchild had not been informed. Since I am one of the administrators of our class page, I removed the post at once and made a post of my own. “Out of deference to the family, we aren’t talking about this till we are sure everyone is informed and the family has announced the loss themselves.”
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/b6c6661914.jpg\")
When I lost Mr. Virgo, I can’t remember how long it took me to gather enough strength to write a post on FB telling our friends and more distant family that he was gone. I know it was at least one day…and it might have been two. I was in shock. I will tell you this, though…if I opened Facebook to make that horribly painful announcement and saw where one of his friends from high school had beat me to the punch, I would have been devastated. It isn’t anyone’s place but the family’s or their personal representative to make such a sensitive initial announcement.
\n\n\nI had every intention of going on the class page after a reasonable amount of time had passed after our friend died in December to write some guidelines on how and when to share with the group that we had lost another classmate. You know how time gets away from you after the holidays and especially after losing someone so close to you. I didn’t get around to writing it. Then we lost another classmate. And, just as had happened before, someone posted an announcement before the family could do so.
\n\n\nI removed the post and sent a private message to the person posting, explaining why. It’s stirred up some conversation, and as you may imagine, some controversy. I want to give people the benefit of the doubt. I don’t want to think that some folks just want to show everyone they are “in the know” by being the first to share news. I prefer to think they just aren’t aware of protocols or have become desensitized by the constant barrage of death we’ve been subjected to during the pandemic.
\n\n\nWe are “of a certain age”, my classmates and I. And, dare I say, many of you are as well. We must never be in a rush to share the news on social media of someone’s passing. Instead, we must always be respectful of the family’s privacy and be sensitive to their needs. No one…NO ONE wants to find out for the first time on social media that someone they love has died. There was a time when we didn’t really have to tell people this. Those who needed to know were called personally. Then, the circle went ever wider as the news spread to others further out from the inner circle. Only then did we read an obituary in the local newspaper. Now, we have this tool that can instantly spread news like wildfire and we have to remember….think twice. Do a little searching to see if the family has said anything on their social media pages. Check the online newspapers, the local news station, and the local mortuaries to see if there has been a formal announcement. If, after 36-48 hours have passed, you might share the news in private groups like our class page. But, please…don’t be that person who rushes to “be the first” to share such a sensitive and personal event as the death of your high school chum.
\n\n\n❄️?❄️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2022-01-26T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/01/26/the-politics-of-death-in.html", "tags": ["Grief","Wisdom","Warning","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/01/10/lets-talk-common-sense.html", "title": "Let’s Talk Common Sense", "content_html": "\n““Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you. This is the essence of all that is taught in the law and the prophets.”
\nMatthew 7:12 NLT\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/76e1152b86.jpg\")
If you look around…wherever you live…especially if you’re “of a certain age”, you’re going to scratch your head and think “What the heck happened to common sense???” I don’t know about you, but I shake my head…a LOT! Sometimes I think my eyes are just going to keep on rolling and stay that way.
\n\n\nOne of my pet peeves is when you ask your health care provider how to correct something and he/she comes back with a prescription. Lord knows…I don’t need any more prescriptions. I’m trying to thin out some of them I’m taking as it is. I’ll tell you more about that in a minute but I’m going to tackle a somewhat sensitive subject…one that now seems to have lots of commercials representing “cures”. Let’s talk…irregularity.
\n\n\nCome on…every body poos. And the healthier it is, the better you are going to feel. What’s that one commercial call it…crankypated? Pretty good description. It seems the older I get, the more that going becomes not going and that causes all kinds of problems. One of the really fun side effects of hyperparathyroidism can be constipation. I mentioned this to my endocrinologist and he ordered lactulose. It is a sugar that gloms onto fluid and forces it into the stool. Ok, that’s one way to do it, but I only tried it once and it was pretty harsh. (Shubs…I’m sending the rest your way!)
\n\n\nMy grandparents drank prune juice to stay regular. I’ve eaten a couple prunes a day without seeing grand, lasting results. Not that they aren’t good…but I just don’t think of grabbing a handful. And prune juice? Ummmm…no, thanks. I’ve tried Metamucil and stool softeners with mixed results. Then, I remembered the “Activia Challenge” commercial. Hey...I love yoghurt! One little cup every night for dessert? Yes, please!
\n\n\nI am happy to report, after just five days having this little taste treat every evening and things are right as rain again! It is because of the probiotics added to the yoghurt. Our gut biome gets all wonky for a lot of different reasons. When you have to take an antibiotic, it can mess with the bacterial balance in your gut. Certain medications and medical conditions cause constipation. We drink less water as we get older and that contributes. We eat less green, leafy vegetables and fruits like whole apples and prunes.
\n\n\nAnother problem I’ve had for the last several years is acid reflux…commonly referred to in medical circles as GERD. I’ve had upper endoscopies and colonoscopies and, even on a strong prescription acid reducer, I still had gastritis the last time. The doctor bumped me up to the strongest dose I could take and it still didn’t make much difference. Add to that…GERD is one of the major symptoms of hyperparathyroidism, so I’ve got a double whammy.
\n\n\nWhen Mr. Virgo died, I needed a little help with my mood so I started taking the St. John’s Wort regularly. When I was in Florida having my parathyroid surgery in March, the PA was going through my pre-op physical and asking me what medications I take. I was on antidepressants for years and I don’t ever want to take them again if I can avoid it. I figured, if I could take something natural that would work, then that’s what I’d rather do…hence, the St. John’s Wort. She said something about being very careful with that particular supplement because it can have a strong interactions with certain medications. I not only promptly forgot what medication she mentioned, but that she had issued the warning in the first place. It only recently came back to me. (Memory is funny that way, isn’t it?)
\n\n\nAnyway, the other night I looked up on WebMD and saw they have a medication interaction calculator. You put in your medications and it tells you if any of them interact poorly. I wanted to find out which one the St. John’s Wort was messing up. Well, would you believe it was the acid reducer? It reduces the effectiveness. And here I’ve been doctoring for this burning in the pit of my stomach, taking the strongest medicine I could take…for YEARS, and not getting any relief. I’ve weaned off the St. John’s Wort now and I can already feel a difference in my stomach…it’s not burning like it used to. Eureka!
\n\n\nThis is when we circle back to “common sense”. Sometimes you just have to take a step back, do a little research, and be your own best advocate in the medical community. They are trained to fix things and their tools are often medicine. You can rest assured, they don’t get kickbacks from the drug companies like they used to. That’s how some people end up in their old age taking a shoebox full of pills every day prescribed by a handful of different doctors.
\n\n\nI’m here to tell you…I was married to a doctor. For twenty years. And he was darned good at what he did. But…he put his boots on one at a time, just like everyone else. Doctors are not God. And medicine is not an exact science. While anyone with that kind of education and professional status commands a certain amount of respect, it should never come at the cost of you not questioning something. If they push pills, ask if there’s an alternative. Tell them you aren’t an avid pill popper and see if there’s some other natural, healthy way to fix your problem.
\n\n\nMy Aunt Peeps was in her 80’s when she died of dementia and untreated (by choice) breast cancer. My cousin was sitting with her in the hospital one day when the doctor asked her what medicine she took. The answer shocked him. One small prescription…period. No vitamins. No supplements. Nothing over the counter except maybe an aspirin or acetaminophen from time to time. She never bought anything fancy for her skin. She washed her face with a washcloth and whatever bar soap was available. She used Prell shampoo and Crest toothpaste, because that’s what her mother used. She stayed away from doctors at all costs save for the two times she broke her hips. (She actually fell on the ice and broke her wrist once but never went in to have it set. It was always crooked after that.)
\n\n\nIn contrast, when I called my mom every Sunday night, I received the rundown on how many doctor’s appointments they were going to every week and which antibiotic they were currently taking. Doctors were gods in her house. You never, ever questioned them. But I’m here to tell you, you’ve GOT to question them. In a non-confrontational manner, of course. But don’t just take everything they say as the gospel. Write down your questions. Be sure you leave enough time in your appointment to feel free to ask your health care professional to answer them.
\n\n\nSo, there’s my TED Talk for the night. Poop and prescriptions. Don’t be afraid to ask and get your questions answered.
\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2022-01-10T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/01/10/lets-talk-common-sense.html", "tags": ["Health","Wisdom","Aging","Choices","Insight","Control"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2022/01/08/my-ipad-is-getting-smarter.html", "title": "My iPad is Getting Smarter", "content_html": "\n“If you become wise, you will be the one to benefit. If you scorn wisdom, you will be the one to suffer.”
\nProverbs 9:12 NLT\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/d909ac0159.jpg\")
We’ve come a long way, baby!
\n\n\nEvery evening, I head to the back bedroom between 8:00 and 8:30 to write my posts. This is because…The Big Bang reruns are over for the night, and Mr. FixIt is ready to watch some detective drama. Not my cup of tea. This works for us. I’m always finished writing around 10:30 or 11:00 and I chat with my son-in-law’s mom for forty-five minutes or so to catch up with what’s going on in Colorado. By the time we are wrapping it up for the night, Mr. FixIt heads to bed and we watch some funny video or another for a little while, leaving the day on a note of laughter.
\n\n\nI noticed last night, when I settled in to write, there was a notification along the top of the lock screen on my iPad that said, “Open Pages - based on your location in your home”. I’m not surprised by this. Electronic devices are designed to make our lives easier. My iPhone tells me where I parked. I get in my truck and, based on the precise location by GPS, my phone turns to “Driving Focus”. Text notifications are interrupted and an automated reply is sent to the person texting, telling them that I am driving and using “Do Not Disturb. Send a repeat text if it’s an emergency.”
\n\n\nStill…this is all so “Jetsons” to this Baby Boomer. Remember Dick Tracy’s wrist watch that he communicated through? We’re here now. I remember when I bought our first home computer when Daughter #1 was in…what? Eighth or ninth grade? Hubby #2 thought it was absolutely ridiculous and extravagant…kids were never going to need home computers! When the salesman was showing me how to use it, he commented that someday, women would carry computers a thousand times more powerful that this…in their handbags. Get…out! How could that be?
\n\n\nThe very first flip phone had more computer capabilities than the Lunar Landing Module. Think about that for a second. While we still don’t have personal jet packs, they’re building cars that drive autonomously. I’m a forward thinker. I love innovation and all things geeky. But I don’t know about driving with no hands. It’s one thing on a bicycle. It’s something else on an interstate with a ton of steel and plastic hurtling down the highway on its own.
\n\n\nThere are really good things that come with innovation. When I was a Diabetes Educator, self blood glucose monitoring was a new thing. I was invited to participate on an Advisory Board for LifeScan…later bought out by Johnson & Johnson…to design the next generation meter. It’s been fun to see those innovations we suggested in the mid-‘80s come to fruition along the way. But one idea eluded scientists for a long time. The sensor that you stick to your skin and it reads your blood sugar in real time…anytime, day or night…without sticking your finger. When I saw that on a commercial in the last year or so, I beamed. We thought of that…and, there it is!
\n\n\nElectronic banking, automatic bill pay, instant messaging, Zoom meetings, FaceTime, online shopping…all things that have made the “Pandemic Era” more tolerable. Innovations arrive at what seems like lightning speed now. Online gambling…not so good. Cryptocurrency? Holy cats…how do they “mine” money out of thin air? How can it be worth something if you can’t touch it? Those of us who lived through the bursting of the internet bubble and the real estate collapse may have a little bit of trouble trusting such things.
\n\n\nThat’s the thing, isn’t it? We have SO much information thrown at us in a constant stream of data, our brains can’t keep up. It affects every part of life…not just technology. Things we actually saw and heard…with our own eyes and ears…just one year ago are now being denied by the people who did the things and said the stuff. It’s almost as if…there isn’t an electronic record…video and audio recordings of them actually SAYING and DOING it. We aren’t stupid people. We are often…misled. It’s kind of like a magician’s trick. The hand is quicker than the eye. And, any time we get too close to figuring out the trick…there’s a diversion. They’re banking on us forgetting. Or being so overwhelmed, we just don’t care anymore.
\n\n\nIt’s easy to be lulled into complacency when new innovations and new information and new technology is presented. I don’t think we can afford to close our eyes and ears and bury our heads in the sand. I come from the generation to whom the directive…Question Authority…was our buzzword. “Critical Thinking 101” should be added to the buzzwords of the 21st Century. I try to use my faith as a measuring stick and look critically at those who deliver information and compare them to the ways of Jesus instead of just accepting what the world is telling me.
\n\n\nIn the meantime, my iPad knows when it’s time to write. Now…when it starts bringing me tea and cookies, I’ll be happy.
\n\n\n?
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2022-01-08T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2022/01/08/my-ipad-is-getting-smarter.html", "tags": ["Faith","Wisdom","Choices","Change","Insight","Home"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/12/18/heavy-sigh.html", "title": "Heavy Sigh", "content_html": "\n“So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.”
\nRomans 12:1-2 MSG\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/93791552fb.jpg\")
I had kinda forgotten what grief feels like in your body. It’s been over eight years now since I lost Mr. Virgo. I forgot the heavy sighs…that feeling like you just can’t quite take in a deep enough breath. I forgot the deep ache in my chest that physically feels like you’ve been punched in the solar plexus. I forgot how your body hurts…sort of like when you’re coming down with a bad cold.
\n\n\nI have no real appetite. The tears sit behind my eyes till they can’t anymore then they spill over. I know my friend is fine now. I know the pain she had in her back is gone and she’s healed and beautiful and young and free. She’s probably got the angels rolling in the aisles…if they have aisles in Heaven. She’s with her sister and her mom and her dad and all her loved ones that left before us. She’s probably already looked up every musician she ever loved that’s gone before us and is listening to better live music than any she sought out here.
\n\n\nBut, I’m selfish. I want to keep texting with her and laughing at the absurdities of people and life in general. I want to meet her for dinner and go sit by the river and listen to some great guitar aficionado. I want her to answer all my questions, like “Who do I call to get a new roof on the house?” I want her to text me in the morning to say, “Link’s broken” so I’ll know to go fix my morning post. I want her to call me from her car as she is heading to yet another meeting just to tell me they’re having a sale on turkeys at the Pig.
\n\n\nWe are gathering today to remember…seriously, the funniest woman I’ve ever known. And the world is a little less sparkly. She didn’t want a service. She just wanted her friends to gather and share stories and laugh. I’ll bet dollars to donuts there will be music by the Zac Brown Band playing in the background at the funeral home. I sent photos from my phone to add to those collected from her many other friends for a slide show.
\n\n\nIt’s just barely begun to feel real to me. I went all day yesterday without crying. Because I know she’s ok. I know we can’t understand why God takes people when He does. I know there’s nothing I could have done to change the course of Sparky’s passing. I think it’s perfectly natural to feel some guilt. You know…all the “if onlys” and “I should haves”. A wise friend told me to put that **** in a bag, tie it up tight, and give it to God…and DON’T keep taking it back and peeking in to see if He’s taken care of it for you.
\n\n\nIt’s not easy to say goodbye to someone who was such a huge part of your everyday life. But, I’ll learn to navigate around the Sparky-sized hole in my heart and I won’t fall in every time I think of her. I can hear her now. She could swear till a sailor blushed. The socially acceptable version would sound something like, “Snap out of it!” Yeah…that’s not what I’ll hear her saying though. If you knew her…you know exactly what I’m talking about. If you didn’t, you can well imagine.
\n\n\nI am actually looking forward to gathering with our friends and fellow classmates and sharing our grief and our memories. I can guarantee there will be tears…but there will be plenty of laughter, too. So, my dear Sparky…it’ll never be goodbye. It’ll only be…wait for us among the stars. We’ll be along, one of these days. Till then…this song’s for you.
\n\n\n\n\n\n❄️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2021-12-18T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/12/18/heavy-sigh.html", "tags": ["Grief","Gratitude","Wisdom","Courage","Aging","Change","Friends"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/12/17/who-gets-your-digital-footprint.html", "title": "Who Gets Your Digital Footprint After You’re Gone?", "content_html": "\n“Beloved, we are God’s children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is.”
\n1 John 3:2 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/670b0d18d9.jpg\")
I follow Heather Cox Richardson. Lately, she’s been sharing some texts that went back and forth during the insurrection on January 6, 2021. Oh, my gosh…was that just this year??? The texters were texting things they ought not to have been texting and it’s going to come back and bite them in the butt, I do believe. At any rate, it got me to thinking about the digital footprints we leave behind without giving it one bit of thought.
\n\n\nWhen my dear friend Sparky died this week, she took with her that close connection we had…in person and digitally. Certainly, during Covid, our connection was nearly exclusively digital. We shared funny memes that were maybe just a little TOO much to put out on our Facebook pages for all to see. We had inside jokes. We talked candidly about everything. I’m really happy I have a treasure trove of her texts that go back over probably five years or more. I have funnies galore. And, I also have private things…the kinds of things you share with your bestie because that’s how you work through things. But they aren’t necessarily things you want your kids finding after your dead, you know what I mean?
\n\n\nSo, I have these things on my phone, which means…unless Sparky erased our conversations every time…these things are also on her phone. Oh, they aren’t state secrets or anything illegal, but if certain people found them, they could be hurtful or perhaps even besmirch a reputation…neither of which is particularly pleasant. It made me think about the digital trails we leave behind and where they go when we die and who gets them and what could they do with them and….well, you get the picture.
\n\n\nI keep a lot of text conversations on my phone because they contain photos, phone numbers, the answers to questions, and frankly…memories of my friend or relative. I probably have every text Mr. FixIt and I ever exchanged, which is sweet. I even have some of the texts Mr. Virgo and I exchanged. But sending out texts between friends isn’t the only place our digital footprints leave trails. Our presence on the internet, no matter WHAT we are doing, or WHERE we are doing it, is…out there. It’s in the Cloud…any number of Clouds, really. It’s on old devices, shared devices, pads, tablets, phones, computers, laptops, readers, home assistance devices like Ring and Alexa and Smart TVs.
\n\n\nI gave up a long time ago thinking that any of this was really going to come back and bite me bad. I mean, after all, I’m a blogger and a storyteller and you all probably know more about me through my writing than some of my own family members do. The things I put out here for you to read aren’t secrets or I wouldn’t be putting them out here. However, private conversations between me and my friends and family on my phone is different.
\n\n\nI’m sure the government officials who were texting directions or updates or whatever during the events of January 6th are pretty upset that the conversations they were having via text are becoming public knowledge. I get that. However, while my friend might be sending me a “you didn’t hear this from me” text, we weren’t in the throes of doing something even slightly illegal. Big difference.
\n\n\nSo, what do you do with all that information? Well, you can ask the executor of the estate to erase it from the phone but that’s not always feasible. You can erase the text histories off your devices, which is time consuming and difficult to remember to do. You can make a pact with your friends or the executor of your estate to clean your phone when you’re gone. I think that’s a pretty good way to do it. Never sharing personal information with anyone ever on digital devices would work, but I’ll tell you what…that horse has long since left the barn for all of us, I’d guess. Except this one strange dude we graduated with. I’ll bet he’s never even had so much as an email address his entire life. I asked him once why he didn’t go on Facebook and connect with us…his fellow classmates. He said, “Are you nuts? Voluntarily let the CIA track me? No thanks!” Yeah, well…ok.
\n\n\nThere are articles all over the internet that discuss this subject and ways to “clean up your mess” but I’ll leave that for you to look up. There’s something to be said for minimizing your digital footprint because your data is like glitter…you will never, ever get rid of all of it. Once it’s out there, it’s out there forever. I’m glad I grew up when I did so my really stupid stuff wasn’t recorded for posterity.
\n\n\n❄️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2021-12-17T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/12/17/who-gets-your-digital-footprint.html", "tags": ["Wisdom","Warning","Insight","Control"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/12/13/beyond-the-absurd-birds-arent.html", "title": "Beyond the Absurd - Birds Aren’t Real", "content_html": "\n“For nothing is hidden that will not be made manifest, nor is anything secret that will not be known and come to light.”
\nLuke 8:17 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/0dfa4b7717.jpg\")
For those of us who are “of a certain age”, we recall hearing about something absurd called “The War of the Worlds”. On October 30, 1938, Orson Welles’ Mercury Theater Company broadcast a live radio show…an update of H.G. Welles’ book of the same name. They announced it for what it was at the beginning of the programming hour. But most people were finishing listening to Edgar Bergen and his ventriloquist act with the dummy, “Charlie McCarthy”. When they switched stations at about 8:12PM, “The War of the Worlds” was heating up and it sounded real to those tuning in. By this time, sound thinking, logical minded people believed we were under attack by Martians. While there was no lasting damage, and no laws were found to be broken, the networks made an agreement with the FCC to be more careful in the future with such programming.
\n\n\nThe Philadelphia Experiment of 1943 saw the US Government allegedly trying to make a US battleship go invisible. The conspiracy had the government making a destroyer “teleport” from Philadelphia to Norfolk, VA. It has been officially declared a hoax, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t people who still believe it happened.
\n\n\nFlash forward to the incident at Roswell in the summer of 1947, not quite a decade later. A farmer found a piece of unidentifiable debris in his field and a whole industry was created surrounding the alleged coverup that followed. To this day, there are people trying to figure out exactly what happened at Area 51 and “where the alien bodies and spacecraft are actually being held.” Are there other intelligent civilizations out there? Could be. But Roswell will never be the same little dusty hole in the wall.
\n\n\nFrom Atlantis to The Shroud of Turin to who killed JFK, the world has been intrigued, and often times convinced to believe in outrageous conspiracy theories. The age of the Internet is…unfortunately…an excellent breeding ground for these hoaxes. Computer-aided graphics mixed with gullibility breathes life into things that are nothing more than science fiction on crack. Add the fact that we really don’t have to practice critical thinking anymore. Google is right there at everyone’s fingertips. We don’t have to remember or memorize or think. We can just ask. And, there are nefarious players ready to fill your eyes and ears with garbage.
\n\n\nThere was a time in the early days of the internet when something like the QAnonCult would have been shredded and revealed as the real fake news that it is. There is something called Occam’s razor. The Encyclopedia Britannica defines it as “a principle of theory construction or evaluation according to which, other things equal, explanations that posit fewer entities, or fewer kinds of entities, are to be preferred to explanations that posit more.” To put it more simply, when Dr. Arroway (played by Jodie Foster in the movie Contact) was asked, “Do you know what Occum’s razor is?” She replies, “Yes, it’s the scientific principle that, all things being equal, the simplest answer is usually the right one.” Brilliant. Deductive Reasoning 101.
\n\n\nSo, when Q says that the world is being controlled by an elite cabal of child-trafficking Democrats, I think we can safely say “that’s a load of horse hockey” to quote Col. Potter on MASH. These predictions and convoluted fairytales have hoodwinked an entire segment of the population. Whether you believe it or not is not the point here…although, I do hope you don’t ascribe to such things. What I’m here to tell you about is Gen-Z’s tongue-in-cheek parody of today’s conspiracy theorists. And they’ve called it…
\n\n\nBirds Aren’t Real.
\n\n\nThey posit that birds do not exist and that they are all government drone replicas made to spy on Americans. According to a recent article in the New York Times by Taylor Lorentz, hundreds of thousands of young people are joining the fight against what is the REAL fake news by creating their own absurd conspiracy. They KNOW birds are real. They just want people to see how absolutely ridiculous these conspiracy theories have gotten and to put on your thinking caps and use some sense. I think it’s a creative way to fight fire with fire and bring the world back into a place where real truth means something again. To fight against the anger and hate that are tools used by the fearful. And where oligarchs who prey on our fears and manipulate us to destroy ourselves from within are exposed for the charlatans they are. We are better than this. We need more Coke commercials teaching the world to sing. We need more children to be taught critical thinking in school.
\n\n\nI was watching The Voice last week and one of the acts in the top five is a sibling group called Girl Named Tom. As I sat and listened to their tight harmonies, I thought to myself…this! This is from God. This is beauty and this is real. We need more and more and more of this beautiful harmonious music. We need more God…more spirit filled goodness…more nature. We need to take care of our earth home because this is the only one we have. Instead of gazillionaires flying rocket ships of wealthy tourists on a ten minute joyride up in space (and avoiding taxes along the way)…instead of trying to figure out how to live on Mars…maybe they could throw some of that money at the world we already have and try to fix it.
\n\n\nWouldn’t that be a wonderful Christmas gift to us all?
\n\n\nPeace on Earth…Good Will to ALL people!
\n\n\n❄️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2021-12-13T02:50:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/12/13/beyond-the-absurd-birds-arent.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Wisdom","Fear","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/10/30/tripping-the-trigger.html", "title": "Tripping the Trigger", "content_html": "\n“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.”
\nJohn 14:27 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/55f6b26f72.jpg\")
I went to town yesterday morning to take the truck in for repairs. I was really early, so I stopped at my favorite coffee shop and enjoyed a latte and a pastry and read my new Brenda Gantt cookbook. As I sat there, thinking about the upcoming garage visit, I became uncomfortable. I couldn’t put my finger on exactly why. This happens sometimes and I have to cogitate on it for a while before it comes to me.
\n\n\nYou’ve probably heard the term trigger used in a way that doesn’t relate to guns. It wasn’t all that many years ago that I learned about trauma triggers. I will quote from Wikipedia: A trauma trigger is a psychological stimulus that prompts involuntary recall of a previous traumatic experience. The stimulus itself need not be frightening or traumatic and may be only indirectly or superficially reminiscent of an earlier traumatic incident, such as a scent or a piece of clothing.
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/3f17f08836.jpg\")
A couple of days ago, I had a little time to kill between appointments, so I went to my favorite antique shop. I was browsing around and I saw some really cool glasses, a couple of quilts, a neat crock. Then, I saw a doll and a very faint memory flickered through my mind like a bolt of lightning streaks across a distant sky and was gone. It was so far away. I couldn’t hear the thunder, but the storm was coming nonetheless.
\n\n\nI turned a corner and there was a little doll carriage…old fashioned, metal frame, white wheels. There was the lightning again…a little closer. I turned to look around and there were kid’s books and the storm was closer. This hadn’t happened to me in a long time. It used to send me into a panic and I’d run away, but this time I stayed looking for the hurricane so I could face it head on.
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/3425ab4b8e.jpg\")
I became a “storm chaser”.
\n\n\nMy eyes ran over the shelves of old toys, each one stirring the winds, till I hit the mother lode.
\n\n\nThere, on the top shelf, was a picture block puzzle. And…immediately I was transported to the stone garage behind the house next door to my grandmother. It was dark and the windows were glazed over with years of dust and soot. The light shone faintly through. A man was carrying me. His breath was labored, his tweedy suit scratchy against my bare legs. He wasn’t my dad. He wasn’t my grandfather. He was old and he had me alone in a dark garage. I was maybe two or three.
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/2bced4f3e9.jpg\")
I don’t know where my mother was, nor why I was here with this man. I have a vague memory of him showing me toys. Old fashioned, old timey toys. An old leather pram. A doll with a cracked face and a dark blue velvet jacket worn bare in places. And a wooden block picture puzzle…the kind you could make lots of pictures with because of all the sides. I have a vague memory of him giving me that puzzle but I have no idea whatever happened to it.
\n\n\nHis hands were gentle, and I wasn’t scared of him. That’s why I think he must have been someone we knew, like Grandmother’s neighbor. His wife had TB and used to sit on the front porch with Grandmother. I was always instructed to be polite to them. There wasn’t anything traumatic about that memory.
\n\n\nHowever, because of that experience, I was trusting. Too trusting. A few years later, when I was about eight or so, the neighbor boy asked my friend Karen and I if we wanted to see the old toys in their garage. I took Karen’s hand and followed him into the garage where the boy proceeded to trap me and sexually assault me. We managed to escape before he could hurt Karen, but I was left forever traumatized by that seminal event.
\n\n\nWhen I saw the toys in the antique store on Tuesday, it tripped a trauma trigger and my palms started sweating and I felt I couldn’t catch my breath. But I stayed with it. I rode the lightning, because if I don’t, it wins. I stayed. I looked at every toy and told it…”You are nothing but a memory and yesterday cannot hurt me. I’ve forgiven the people who abused me in the past. You are nothing but a trigger and a trigger is nothing but a thought and a thought is not what’s happening now. A thought cannot hurt me, so stop it.”
\n\n\nMy breathing slowed. My heart rate slowed. My blood pressure was still a little elevated at the doctor’s office a little bit later, but overall, I rode that through without having a full fledged panic attack. There was one thing I could NOT do. I couldn’t touch the puzzle blocks. Every time I reached out it was like static so I just left it alone. I took a picture, but try as I might, I couldn’t find it on my phone. I found a similar one on the internet.
\n\n\nDesensitization therapy is one of the most effective ways to work through trauma and minimize triggers. It doesn’t mean they go away or that you’ll never have them again, but it makes it easier to get through. When I have a strong experience like that, it sometimes takes a day or so to even out. As I sat in the coffee shop yesterday morning, the thought of going into the tiny little waiting area at the mechanic’s garage and sitting there for hours with strange men coming in and out made me uncomfortable.
\n\n\nI could have done it. I could have forced myself. But I decided to go with my gut. I called my sweet Mr. FixIt and explained the situation to him and said, “If I bring the truck back home, will you take it in later to the garage?” There’s a noise it’s been making and I’d like to have it fixed and Mr. FixIt knows exactly what it is. “Of course I’ll do that for you, baby.”
\n\n\nHe’s a good man.
\n\n\nI came home, went out to the camper, climbed in my little twin bed and curled up under the covers for a nap.
\n\n\nThat’s how I worked through a trauma trigger. It may not look like a home run because I didn’t pick up the puzzle and I didn’t take the truck in, but I assure you…progress does NOT mean perfection. God was with me every step of the way, reminding me how much stronger I am than I used to be. Mr. FixIt got to sit in a garage and shoot the bull with a whole mess of guys coming in and out. He got to go to his favorite little discount store and hang out for an hour talking with more people. He brought supper home and it was a good day.
\n\n\n???
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2021-10-30T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/10/30/tripping-the-trigger.html", "tags": ["Health","Wisdom","Anxiety"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/10/29/heart-melt-and-car-repair.html", "title": "Heart Melt and Car Repair", "content_html": "\n“fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
\nIsaiah 41:10 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/bec2036636.jpg\")
Awwwww, you guys! You went and made me cry! Did you read the comments the last couple of days? God is so good! He knew I needed a boost and there y’all were! I love writing these “letters from home” to you all. That’s what they feel like…newsy little missives from my heart to yours…letting you know what’s going on in this country girl’s life I get to live. Knowing I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing…vanquishing the darkness back where it belongs, is a privilege I don’t take lightly. Sharing that with such supportive readers is more than any writer could ask for. Thank you…every single one of you!
\n\n\nSo, yesterday morning I did what we all need to do every year…I went and got the tatas squished. I always schedule my mammogram in October…Breast Cancer Awareness Month. That way I can’t forget because it’s in the news a lot. I also had my appointment with my gynecologist in the afternoon. Just because we are older now, doesn’t mean we don’t need to still get checked from time to time. I had a total hysterectomy in 1994, I think it was. And still, I had some dysplasia (abnormal cells) a couple of years ago. And, I had a surgical biopsy on a breast lump around the same time. Cancer can still strike so it’s best to get checked. Your health care provider can advise you how often. I was pleased that nothing was wrong…up or down. Yay!
\n\n\nWhen I came out to the truck, i saw I’d missed a call from my good friend, Diane. I called back and we chatted for a while. When I started up the truck…the engine light came on! Wouldn’t you know it? Mr. FixIt is knee deep in redoing ALL the brakes on his truck and is currently waiting on parts so we don’t have an extra vehicle. Now, I’ve learned a lot from this man about vehicle maintenance and the importance of shopping around. I knew the first thing I needed to do was have someone hook up a reader to the computer in the truck and find out what code what triggered that made the check engine light come on.
\n\n\nI happened to be pretty close to a Ford dealer…not the one I normally frequent…but I figured they could hook up the scanner and check real quick. Well…he said he would have to schedule me back another time because they were booked and it would cost a $158 diagnostic fee. Once I picked myself back up off the floor, I looked at him in disbelief.
\n\n\n“I’m sorry…to plug a cord into an outlet and push a button???”
\n\n\n“Yes, ma’am.”
\n\n\nHe was being polite.
\n\n\n“Ummmm…I don’t think so.”
\n\n\nI went to the auto parts store next door. He checked and gave me the code. I checked with engine-codes.com (clever name) and it directed me to the nearest place that could fix it. It turns out, this particular code can be triggered by a few different things so he suggested we reset it and if it comes back on, then we could fix it. Wouldn’t you know, I continued my shopping and soon, check engine light was back on.
\n\n\nI went to an auto parts store and was told the part was $285! Hokey smokes! I was polite.
\n\n\n“Ummmm…I don’t think so.”
\n\n\nI went to Advantage Auto and they had the original part in stock…$73! Bingo.
\n\n\nThen…the light went off! What??? *sigh* Ok…the oxygen sensor is bad and it won’t be long till it turns on and stays on. With Mr. FixIt’s truck out of commission for I don’t know how long, I’l going to go ahead and get the part fixed.
\n\n\nWhat is the moral of the story?
\n\n\nYou really DON’T have to go to the dealership to get something fixed.
\n\n\nShop around for your best price.
\n\n\nAlways check through a search engine and YouTube videos to see how things are made and what to do when they’re broken. Educate yourself so when you talk to the nice man at the repair place, he can know you know what you’re talking about. There ARE still places that take advantage of women who are on their own and charge them exorbitant fees and do unnecessary work.
\n\n\nWe just had an interaction last week at the RV service center when I had a couple of things that needed tweaked. The service man started in by talking over me and “man-splaining” stuff. My blood pressure started to rise. Mr. FixIt told me later he almost told the guy he’d better check himself because he had no idea who he was dealing with. But he could see I handled it fine on my own. He’s good that way…ready to be my wing man if I need him. Totally prepared to sit in the co-pilot’s seat if I don’t. We’re a good team.
\n\n\nSo, that was my day…just squishin’ the tatas and gettin’ things done. There’s never a dull moment!
\n\n\n???
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2021-10-29T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/10/29/heart-melt-and-car-repair.html", "tags": ["Health","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/10/27/between-the-devil-and-the.html", "title": "Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea", "content_html": "\n“Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.”
\nProverbs 16:24 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/e2f65bc1a2.jpg\")
I’m torn. I’ve been reading the disturbing news about the Facebook Papers and how the company put profit over social responsibility. I mean…it’s not like I’m surprised or anything. We had to know they weren’t pulling the plug on the divisiveness train the last couple of years. And, just about every business is going to push for more profits. It’s the nature of capitalism. But…I’m an advocate of truth and peace and togetherness and kindness. I’ve always tried to be an island of peace in a sea of madness. I’m not always successful…but I do try.
\n\n\nAnd now…here we are. The curtain has been pulled back and light has been shone on a really dark side of the social media equation. I have poured the last eight and a half years of my life into my writing here. This is exactly the reason I spent three years copying every post I’ve made on Facebook and putting it on my webpage. I knew there would come a day when it may be unconscionable to remain here.
\n\n\nIt’s not a black and white issue…not by a long shot. Not for me, anyway. I am a social creature. Facebook is my connection to a great number of people…family and friends….that I wouldn’t necessarily be able to stay in touch with otherwise. I love this connection, even though it stirs conflict in my heart. It’s been keeping me awake at night. And often, when I can’t sleep, I read devotionals on the Bible app on my phone and try not to wake Mr. FixIt.
\n\n\nI’m currently doing a Bible study by Pastor Rick Warren called “You Make Me Crazy”. On Day 18 of the 23 Day study, Pastor Rick talks about idolatry. I’ve always had a biblical understanding of idols as being craven images of gold worshiped by unbelievers. That’s not necessarily the case, says Pastor Rick. “People-pleasing” is a form of idolatry. So is your “stuff”, your “hobbies”, your “friends.” A relationship, no matter with whom, can be a form of idolatry. And, so can social media and your phone and tablet and computer. Anything that keeps you from putting God first is being made a “god” with a little g.
\n\n\nI’ve always had a suspicion my presence here on Facebook would evolve. I’ve toyed with the idea of having a daily “letter from home” sent to your email with a link to my post of the day over on my website, bypassing FB altogether. I’ve pictured a weekly or monthly newsletter, but honestly…changing horses in the middle of a very big stream is not necessarily easy. There have been times when I’ve thought I’ve told every story, shared every thought, taught every lesson I was sent here to share. That maybe it was time to archive the page and call it quits and just live my life.
\n\n\nI’’m deeply conflicted.
\n\n\nI’m between the proverbial rock and a hard place. Do I continue to keep a presence on a social media platform that so egregiously intended to misinform? Or, am I making entirely too much of this? I do know one thing…I have to write. Whether anyone ever reads it one more day or not. I need to write like I need to breathe. Whether what I write is important or not. Whether it’s inspired by God or just a tale of the ordinary life of a woman living in the country with a great love after loss. Right now, I’m not sure of the answer. I just know…it keeps me up some nights.
\n\n\nMaybe that’s a good thing. After all…it gives me time to read some scripture and gain some insight in this crazy beautiful thing we call life.
\n\n\n???
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2021-10-27T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/10/27/between-the-devil-and-the.html", "tags": ["Faith","Wisdom","Writing","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/10/22/how-country-living-has-changed.html", "title": "How Country Living Has Changed Me", "content_html": "\n“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”
\nRomans 8:28 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/85bdae3153.jpg\")
I awoke to the tippy tap sound of gentle rain on the roof of the camper. It sounds the same as my first camper…Little TOW-Wanda. It had a metal roof. Big TOW-Wanda had a rubber roof and I was always disappointed that the sound of the rain was so muffled. And now…Big Bird! Her roof is metal and reminds me a lot of Grandma’s house at the farm.
\n\n\nWe had a leisurely breakfast then hung around till midday at the camper. When it was lunch time, we headed to town. We stopped at Menard’s first and bought a leaf blower to blow the leaves off the camper. Then we went to Red Robin for our later lunch, early supper. They have great burgers. I especially love the plant based Impossible Burger.
\n\n\nWhen we were finished eating, we went over to the Polaris Mall and walked around. On our way over there, we drove past block after block of strip malls with big name stores and I quickly became overwhelmed by all the shopping opportunities. We drove through the parking lot of the mall, looking for an empty spot. Just as we turned off the engine, huge drops of rain began to fall and we rushed from the car to the door to keep from getting wet.
\n\n\nWe parked outside of Macy’s. I always park at a store entrance so I can remember where I parked. When we walked in the door, this was what we walked into. Christmas. I know…it comes early every year now. And will so much stuff sitting on ships waiting to be unloaded, we are liable to face an entirely different holiday season than what we are accustomed to.
\n\n\nRemember back in April 2020 when we’d say, “When this all blows over in a couple of months, then we can _____________”? (Fill in the blank with anything remotely normal.) and now, here we are, getting ready for another holiday season with the trickle down effects of the pandemic still nipping us at the heels. I won’t get into a long discussion about how this might have all been avoided. That’s not what this post is about. It’s about ants.
\n\n\nAs we walked around the mall, people were milling about. I’m not used to people anymore. For more reasons than the pandemic. We live out in the country on five acres. We don’t get a whole lot of company out there. And when we do go into town, it’s nothing remotely like this large upscale shopping mall in Columbus, OH. They have a Saks Fifth Avenue, for crying out loud! We have the Piggly Wiggly!
\n\n\nI suddenly had this very strong image. We were like ants in a colony. Milling about. Picking up this and that and carrying it back to our nests. It was kinda creepy in a science fiction way. I couldn’t relate to these people, even though I know I was once one of them. Let me tell ya, honey…I shopped. I shopped till I dropped. Many, many times. When I was married to Hubby #2, the doctor, we had a house with…get this…SEVENTEEN closets! When we first moved in there, I thought… “What kind of family lives in a house with seventeen closets???” Well, the family before us…they had 4 or 5 kids. And here we were, with a 16 year old and a baby…rapidly filling up all those closets. With crap. Oh…I thought they were treasures, but I can hardly name a handful of things in there that I couldn’t live without.
\n\n\nDid I see anything in that mall yesterday that I liked? Yes. They had a Solo Stove…a gizmo that allows you to have a rip roaring campfire without all the smoke. It was $500. That’s a hard pass. There was a collapsible coffee thingy to make pour overs while camping. $23. Nope. Electric bikes? $4000! There wasn’t a darned thing in there that I needed or wanted. I like shopping back in the day. I’m a little sad that I don’t like shopping anymore. I kept asking Mr. FixIt if we were done yet and could we just go.
\n\n\nOh…I did love going to Menard’s. It’s got TOOLS!
\n\n\nI’m going to have to turn in my girly girl card and get the country girl card now.
\n\n\n???
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2021-10-22T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/10/22/how-country-living-has-changed.html", "tags": ["Wisdom","Choices","Change","Insight"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/10/16/time-to-take-a-break.html", "title": "Time to Take a Break", "content_html": "\n“As for the rich in this present age, charge them not to be haughty, nor to set their hopes on the uncertainty of riches, but on God, who richly provides us with everything to enjoy. They are to do good, to be rich in good works, to be generous and ready to share, thus storing up treasure for themselves as a good foundation for the future, so that they may take hold of that which is truly life.”
\n1 Timothy 6:17-19 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/71434690af.jpg\")
My view out the camper window yesterday morning! We camped at Hocking Hills State Park!
\n\n\nThe last few weeks have been a whirlwind. Trips to Columbus and back for scans. Camping. Anniversary. Cleaning out campers preparing for winter. We got home yesterday midday and I had to turn right around and run back into town for some errands that had to be done before the end of the week. When I got home, I wolfed down a salad and went out to help Mr. FixIt do a big job and got overheated. We neither one slept well on this camping trip…it was too hot, I think. So, I’m calling it a night and hoping I feel better in the morning. In the meantime, here’s a rerun about taking time to rest and do some self care. We all need that from time to time.
\n\n\nI got a note from Little yesterday. She made her very first batch of buttermilk biscuits with the biscuit making gear I bought her this summer in West Virginia. She did a great job and said they were light and fluffy and tasted great! I’m so proud! Then, when I got home and checked the mail…I received my copy of Miss Brenda Gantt’s first cookbook. Now I have something new to read on our trip!
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/b4c3ed5ef2.jpg\")
Nice and smooth biscuits, ready to pop in the oven!
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/ffb2c2db35.jpg\")
Look how pretty and golden brown! Great job, Little!!!
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/b85c683b84.jpg\")
If you follow Cooking with Brenda Gantt on FB, you can find out how to order one of her cookbooks!
\n\n\n?
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2021-10-16T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/10/16/time-to-take-a-break.html", "tags": ["Health","Wisdom","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/08/25/when-is-it-a-disasterwhen.html", "title": "When is it a Disaster…When is it Just…Life?", "content_html": "\n“Beloved, I pray that all may go well with you and that you may be in good health, as it goes well with your soul.”
\n3 John 1:2 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/c3d7cc0f16.jpg\")
There are truly disasters that occur. Things that could not have been predicted that befall us and change our lives in a heartbeat. The floods in Tennessee…the terrible ice storms in Texas…the dreadful fires in the west. These are all things that, aside from the unfortunate predictability of increased global warming, are still horrifying to watch. And even more horrifying to be a part of.
\n\n\nI’ve been thinking about my grandparents and my parents and how they lived through the Great Depression and World War II. Those were both events that shook our country to the very core. Our great and great great grandparents lived through the Civil War…a time when the very fabric of our being was torn in two. They didn’t throw their hands up and cry woe is me. They rolled up their sleeves and put others first. They put their shoulders to the wheel and pushed forward with all their might.
\n\n\nWe’ve become both softened and hardened by technology. We’re soft because there are machines and computers that do everything for us. Everything…EVERYTHING is done electronically. We’ve put all our eggs in one basket and it’s not going to take long for someone to figure out how to take a sledgehammer to them and it won’t be pretty. We’ve become hardened because it’s hard to tease out fact from fiction for the typical Joe and Jane America. We’ve become hardened because we have a screen to hide behind and we don’t have to look in the eyes of our real and imagined adversaries.
\n\n\nBut, with all that being said…I truly, truly believe there are far more good people in the world than there are really bad people. The thing is…goodness doesn’t sell advertising space. Sensationalism and keeping every single news cycle focused on all the terrible things can keep us in a constant state of anxiety if we let it.
\n\n\nI received an e-mail yesterday from the Census Bureau asking me to fill out a “Coronavirus Household Pulse Survey”. It asked questions they didn’t ask in the regular census. The purpose of the survey was to gauge our reactions to the pandemic. How it’s affecting us….physically, financially, mentally, and emotionally. It asked if we were having trouble meeting bills. Were we able to seek and receive the healthcare we needed. Are we getting enough food. This is designed to find out where the trouble spots are and where resources are needed the most.
\n\n\nOne of the greatest lessons of the Depression and WWII was the need for social services to help people through the tough times in life. And, it was fortunate our ancestors were largely farmers and hard work was already a part of their daily lives. They knew how to do all the things that need doing and, unfortunately, a lot of those skills have died out with them. I am a strong proponent of bringing Home Economics and Shop classes back to schools. I think there should be a class that teaches young people how to fill out job applications, balance a checkbook, file taxes. I’ve seen programs that match schools with nursing homes and senior centers in order to enlighten both demographics. There are places that put day care centers in nursing homes and it benefits the elders as well as the littles.
\n\n\nHow can we preserve the skills that are rapidly dying? What skills do you have that you might share with young people? What if all the electronics went away tomorrow? Who would know what to do without YouTube and Google? These are things that roam around in my head when I’m not busy enough, I’m afraid. But they are things that should be addressed. Our great grandchildren’s lives may depend on it.
\n\n\nAs disastrous as the pandemic has been, these sorts of things are just a part of life. Sometimes life is cake…and sometimes it’s really, really hard. Devastatingly hard. Knowing we are not alone in our difficulties can go a long way in calming our fears of the unknown and the anxieties of uncertainty. God walks with His children…always. That was one of the biggest gems I discovered in the flames of my grief. While I was a widow and I was crushed…I was never alone. We are brokenhearted over many things right now. But please know this…God draws near to the brokenhearted. It is when we can communicate with him most intimately.
\n\n\n?
\n\n\n\n\n\n\n“Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.”
\n1 Peter 4:10 NIV\n
#Skills, #Talents, #Knowledge
\n\n", "date_published": "2021-08-25T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/08/25/when-is-it-a-disasterwhen.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Growth","God","Wisdom","Courage","Warning","Choices","Change","Farm Life"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/08/16/please-dont-feed-the-trolls.html", "title": "Please Don’t Feed the Trolls", "content_html": "\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/a3c568af31.jpg\")
When you own a website or blog, you open yourself up to a lot of good things. And, as they say… “Into each life, a little rain must fall.” It’s unavoidable. I know full well, when I touch on controversial subjects, I’m liable to get some pushback. It comes with the turf. I don’t mind hearing other’s opinions, of course…as long as there is an attempt at civil discourse. I seldom delete a post, and I rarely need to block someone. But, it happened yesterday so I thought perhaps we should discuss it.
\n\n\nAccording to my statistics on this page, my demographic is largely women aged 60 and over…not unexpected since my writing covers grief, faith, aging, health, cooking, family, retirement, farm life, and….well, you get it. You’ve been reading me long enough to know what I do here. It occurred to me yesterday, women in this demographic may not know how to spot a troll on social media…or even know what that is.
\n\n\nThere is a difference between a troll and someone merely disagreeing with something you’ve said and expressing themselves. It isn’t always easy to tell them apart…especially when things get heated. I get a notification every time someone likes or comments on my posts here…the “launch pad” to my website. I try to at least acknowledge every interaction on my page because I like staying engaged with you all. Most of the time you get a ? and sometimes you get a written response…it depends on the subject and how much time I have that day. At any rate, I like for you to know I’m seeing what you write to me and I deeply appreciate you.
\n\n\nYesterday, I broke my own rule. I unknowingly fed a troll and things started escalating. In my defense, I was out on the mower at the end of the far field. I stopped to take a drink and I felt my phone vibrate. I took a quick look and saw some heat and stepped in with what I hoped was a calming response. By the time I was finished mowing, it was obvious I should have taken the time to look into the person making the comments.
\n\n\nThere were several red flags. First, it wasn’t a name I recognized…I had never seen a comment from this person before. And, second…she got personal, fast. Attacking not only me, but other readers. I honestly didn’t take the time to do any research. I have zero tolerance for personal attacks so I removed the ugly posts and blocked the person. Later, in order to make sure I did the right thing, I asked a friend to look this person up and check on two things…when she joined Facebook and how many friends she had. It wasn’t two minutes later when I got the confirmation I needed. New account. No friends. That’s what I should have done first before I ever responded….look her up to confirm.
\n\n\nTrolls and troll accounts can come from a variety of sources. Sometimes it’s nothing more than cyber bullies…anonymous accounts someone hides behind in order to attack and provoke a response from either the owner of the page or their friends/readers/customers. The attacks are usually focused around hot topics and they are meant to trigger people into responding out of anger. This type of troll gets a kick out of the drama and angry responses and will continue to escalate with every response…often getting personal. They’ll send laughing emojis when you respond with anger. They belittle and demean. And they have a hunger to be fed. If you ignore them, sometimes they give up and go away on their own because they aren’t getting what they want. That’s easier to do when it’s just you responding on your own page. It’s an entirely different situation when you have over 6,000 readers on a blog.
\n\n\nAnother kind of troll is what we saw starting in about 2014. Russian Intelligence discovered the United States would be far easier to defeat if they divided us and pitted us against each other. So they went on a massive disinformation campaign to do just that and drew the line in the sand between political parties. This continued during the campaign for the 2016 Presidential election…the fallout of which we will be dealing with for God knows how long. I am sure it continues today as foreign powers jump on the bandwagon, reach into our computers, and stir up a hornet’s nest.They have learned they can destroy us without firing a shot. All they have to do is poke the bear, point the finger at the other guy saying, “He did it!” Then, they sit back and laugh at how easy it was.
\n\n\nRecognizing a cyber bully is easier than recognizing a troll account created by a foreign power. The trick is to stop and think before you respond. Have a peek at the person’s personal FB page. The biggest clue is “no friends” or a really new account. They rant. They pick trigger topics and gauge the audience to actually decide which side of the fence to stand on. They may not even believe in what they’re spewing…they’re just in it for the high of the response.
\n\n\nClemson University created a questionnaire to try to help you figure out who is legit and who is a troll. You can find it HERE. I’m pretty savvy to this issue because I’ve been writing this blog for over eight years now. I got 7 out of 8 right on Spot the Troll. It’s not easy to apply critical thinking skills when you’re in the heat of the moment. So, before you start throwing barbs back, take a breath and do a little research. It’ll be better for your blood pressure.
\n\n\nWe’re all in this together. Let’s try to educate each other and outsmart the fox that’s somehow gotten into our henhouse.
\n\n\n?
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2021-08-16T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/08/16/please-dont-feed-the-trolls.html", "tags": ["Growth","Wisdom","Anger","Writing","Choices","Change","Insight"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/08/13/its-the-dog-days-of.html", "title": "It’s the Dog Days of Summer", "content_html": "\n“There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers.”
\nProverbs 6:16-19 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/353d79ffa9.jpg\")
The Mystery Flower: Sun Star? Star of Bethlehem? Some kind of lily?
\n\n\nI am hoping against hope that yesterday was the hottest day of our summer here in West Virginia. When they tell you it’s not the heat, it’s the humidity…that’s pretty much true. The thermometer on the back of our house registered 103 at 4:00. Granted…that’s on a red brick wall on the west side of the house, but it’s under the eaves and out of direct sunlight. The humidity was only 63% but it felt like a sauna out there.
\n\n\nMr. FixIt went to town to help a friend price some antiques before his yard sale this weekend, so I stayed home in the air conditioning and finished up the plans for our trip to Colorado. I found some really great places to camp and didn’t have a bit of trouble finding available campsites. That’s the beauty of camping in September and October…the kids are back in school and summer vacations are all but over.
\n\n\nAs the sun began to slip toward the horizon, I went outside and took some pictures of this mystery plant that was here when I came onto the scene. Remember I told you it was all but dead in the basement and I emptied the two planters into a washtub along the fence? Well, they’ve gone crazy and now they’re blooming. The tallest blossom is as high as the fence! I ran a picture of it through a plant identification app on my phone (PictureThis) and it says it’s a Sun Star…otherwise known as a Star of Bethlehem. I’m not totally convinced, but it might be. Anyway, the flowers are beautiful. The plant is hardy. But, you do need to dig up the bulbs and store them in the basement over the winter.
\n\n\nI walked around the property as it got dark and suddenly, I started seeing movement out of the corner of my eye. I looked up and there were bats swooping down all around me and that kinda freaked me out a little so I headed back to the pool where Mr. FixIt was sweeping and cleaning. All this hot weather has really made the algae go nuts so we need to get after it with some chemicals today. He asked me to go turn off the pump so I could back flush it. Well, as soon as I tried to turn it off, the switch broke right off! I was reaching the end of my rope by this point. It was still in the 90’s, I was sweating buckets, I was being chased by bats, and now I’d broken the pump switch.
\n\n\nIt was getting pretty dark. I went in and got the head lamp and Mr. FixIt handed me a flathead screwdriver. I unplugged the pump, got down on the ground and managed to flip the switch back to the on position. When we plugged it back in, it turned right on. By this time, we had a hose running in the pool to bring the water level back up. We have had no rain to speak of in weeks and between that and all the back flushing, we were running pretty low.
\n\n\nI sat down on the deck. I could feel the sweat running down my cheeks and made a decision…it was time to turn off the lights and go skinny dipping! There is nothing more wonderful than slipping into cool water when the world feels like an oven and it’s making you act just plain nasty. My dear friends Janine Pettit and Lesa McDermott just finished rafting the length of the Grand Canyon. It was 114 degrees every day. The nights got all the way down to 99 and they slept with wet towels over themselves to try to cool down. I cannot imagine that kind of heat. That was an incredible life experience…one they were both glad they did with twenty other Girl Campers. But, they neither one have a desire to do it again.
\n\n\nAnyway, the pool felt wonderful and it was like that candy bar commercial where the grumpy guy turns nice again once his sugar level comes back up. I could feel my shoulders relax and the tension leave my body. Mr. FixIt and I floated around and talked about the stars and the Colorado trip and the news of the day. We watched the heat lightning off in the distance. Soon we were friends again and laughing.
\n\n\nIt’s important to feed each other in life. To look out for each other. To fight fair. To talk nice. When you fall short…you say “I’m sorry”. Marriage shouldn’t be “hard work”. Like all things, living and loving can challenge us. The challenge is loving and forgiving and trusting with a great big sense of humor. It’s easy to get grumpy when the weather is hot and sticky and things break. So, take my advice…turn off the lights, drop your drawers, and jump in the water!
\n\n\nStay cool, dear ones!
\n\n\n?
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2021-08-13T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/08/13/its-the-dog-days-of.html", "tags": ["Love","Wisdom","Anger","Forgiveness","Aging","Kindness","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/08/12/my-husband-has-ruined-me.html", "title": "My Husband Has Ruined Me", "content_html": "\n“While the earth remains, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night, shall not cease.””
\nGenesis 8:22 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/ca3f917a0b.jpg\")
Mr. FixIt has ruined me. Let me explain.
\n\n\nI’m updating the GPS unit I bought in 2014 as I was leaving Denver to drive cross-country to live on the farm. I do not believe it has been updated at all. I don’t know…maybe once? I’ve tried three different times over the last few days and I kept getting an error message. At first, it said to use the USB cord that came with the unit. I thought, if there was any chance whatsoever I still have the darned thing, it would be in the console of my truck. It took me a day or two to get it together and sit in 95 degree heat rummaging through stacks of unused paper napkins, CD’s (who even listens to those anymore?), receipts, packets of catsup and soy sauce, a slip of paper with a phone number on it that’s undoubtedly important, and that cool tool I bought to cut my seat belt and break the window if I ever find myself sinking to the bottom of a body of water in my F-150. Hey…I’m a Girl Camper…I’m always ready!
\n\n\nAnyway, after tearing through the console for ten minutes or so, the USB cord wasn’t there. It was two more days before I got around to trying again. You remember every year when I sit down to do my taxes, the laptop always needs a dozen updates and it’s slow and I need to run a virus scan and the cleanup program and before I know it, three hours have passed and I’m finally ready to get to work? Well, that was yesterday afternoon. Argh! I decided to just order a new cord from Garmin, but I couldn’t find the link so I chatted with customer service. Tyrrone came online and gave me the link I needed. I was ALMOST ready to hit “send” on the payment when I thought some more. Maybe that cord…or one like it that would work…was in this special bag where I keep extra things like that.
\n\n\nI set everything aside, pulled out the bag, and the second cord I tried worked! When I downloaded the update, i kept getting an error message that said, “File cannot be installed on this computer. Please try again.” After trying three times, I realized the Garmin Express file I had on my computer was outdated, so I tried updating it. Again, I got the same error message. I tried to uninstall the old version and got the error message, “Task cannot be competed.”
\n\n\nBreathe, Ginny…breathe.
\n\n\nI chatted with customer service again and he sent another link to work around that and…the computer froze. OMGosh! Why does this have to be so hard? I rebooted the computer, ran through the steps and the program magically disappeared. Yes! That allowed me to download the installer for the new version, which worked out fine. Then, when I started the update, our internet is SOOOOOOOOO slow, as I’m writing this, the predicted time to download is 4 hours, 47 minutes! Ok…fine. I set the whole thing aside on the floor by my chair so there’s no chance I’ll accidentally unplug the darned thing and have to start over.
\n\n\nNow, here’s where I tell you how my husband has ruined me. There was a time in my life when I would have just gone out and bought a new GPS. After all, this one is at least seven years old…it’s served me well. And, you can buy new ones now that are specifically geared towards campers. Sweet! However…they cost $300 or more. After being with my sweet West Virginia boy these last few years (West Virginians are known to be frugal and resourceful) his “frugality” is rubbing off on me! Darn it. I hate shopping now. I spend an inordinate amount of time researching things before I spring to buy them. I’ll often sit for a couple of weeks with items in an online shopping cart, only to go back in later and decide I didn’t really need that after all.
\n\n\nSee? Totally ruined. lol
\n\n\nWhen we first got together, I just grabbed whatever I wanted off the grocery store shelves. Because, and this is my privileged past showing here, it had been many, many years since I had to consider the difference between the price of store brands versus name brands. At first, going shopping with him was immensely frustrating. Then something happened. He hugged me one day and told me we would never argue about money. Which told me, if there was ever anything we WOULD argue about, it would be money. I’ve learned to “watch my pennies so my dollars watch themselves.” We learned to compromise and he rarely buys store brand mayo anymore because it’s just gross. And…after all, the money we save takes us on great adventures! It’s important to be good stewards of the gifts God gives us…one of which is money. It’s even more important as we age.
\n\n\nSo, yeah…I’m ruined. But totally in a good way!
\n\n\n?
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2021-08-12T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/08/12/my-husband-has-ruined-me.html", "tags": ["Wisdom","Choices","Marriage","Insight"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/07/27/hot-hot-hot.html", "title": "Hot! Hot! Hot!", "content_html": "\n“Moreover, it is required of stewards that they be found faithful.”
\n1 Corinthians 4:2 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/da5fa88723.jpg\")
Land’s sake…I don’t know how y’all out West are handling the intense heat and mega drought. It was in the 90’s here yesterday and, of course, that’s with a ton of humidity. As Little would say, you could see the oxygen. The former Mrs. FixIt and my bonus daughter came over yesterday to pick some squash and tomatoes from the garden. They brought lemons and green tomatoes in trade. It was so hot just standing out there for a short period of time. I can’t imagine how people stand it that have to work out in this heat every day.
\n\n\nI remember when I was young, we always knew every neighbor up and down the block by name. We knew where they worked and all their kids’ names. And, if you needed to borrow a cup of sugar, you might take an egg or a stick of butter with you so as to even your debt. That kept you from schlepping back over the next week with that cup of sugar. If you borrowed a tool, you cleaned it well afterwards and returned it in better condition than when you got it. If it used gas, you filled it up. If you broke it, you paid to get it fixed or you replaced it.
\n\n\nIf someone was elderly or ill and unable to care for the yard or garden, you and/or your kids went over and did some chores to help out. When someone died or had a new baby, you took food and offered to shop or run errands. When someone had a birthday or anniversary, you sent a card. When you had a party, you sent an invitation. If you were on the receiving end, you sent a thank you note.
\n\n\nYes, I know times are different. A verbal thank you is sufficient in most cases. And, depending on the depth of your friendship, a Facebook greeting or text wishing them a good day on special days is probably adequate. I don’t know what it is…being old school or being retired and having the time to do more…but I think about these things now and wonder if all this casual communication somehow robs the giver and receiver both of the joy of the giving.
\n\n\nMaybe it’s natural to look back when you are “of a certain age” and long for “the good ol’ days”. I know they weren’t always good, and we have selective memory loss at some point. But, I do miss the more genteel manners of yesteryear.
\n\n\nSpeaking of manners, Mr. FixIt and I were heading to his acupuncture appointment yesterday when we stopped to get a drink on the way. We were sitting in line at the McDonald’s and could clearly see something hanging on the overpass. When we finished eating our breakfast sandwich, my curiosity got the better of me and I drove to where I could read the sign. It turned out to be from a violent, white supremacy, neo-fascist group. I was shocked to see something like that hanging there. This was a 2:00 in the afternoon, so who knows how long it had been there. We called the state patrol and they said they’d get right on it. It had been removed by the time we got back home a few hours later.
\n\n\nI just have no patience for hate anymore. When I see it, I call it out.
\n\n\nIt’s going to be another scorcher today! Keep cool and safe out there, my friends!
\n\n\n?
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2021-07-27T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/07/27/hot-hot-hot.html", "tags": ["Wisdom","Warning","Memories"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/07/21/the-mysteries-of-neurodiversity.html", "title": "The Mysteries of Neurodiversity", "content_html": "\n“Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.””
\n1 Corinthians 15:33 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/209203f8f5.jpg\")
My “Secret Garden”…my favorite spot here at home.
\n\n\nNeurodiversity. It’s probably not a term you are familiar with. More than likely, that’s because you are neurotypical. Neurotypical people are your everyday, garden variety humans that do things and feel things and say things like most people. But the human brain is infinitely varied and weird and wonderful. Instead of calling a neurodivergence a “disability”…we become more inclusive if we recognize each other as beautiful and profoundly human and as varied as a rainbow.
\n\n\nI’ve discovered, through some deep discussions with someone on the Autism Spectrum, I am probably a member of that club. Females on the spectrum have an easier time masking it. But I’ve always known I was a bit “different”. I don’t always make good eye contact when I talk to people. I pick up the accents and mannerisms of people around me. I am prone to anxiety and depression. I talk fast and loud…a lot! I’ve never, ever looked at these “quirks” as a disability. On the contrary…they are my superpower. I’m creative. I can be funny. I’m sensitive. I have a big heart. I see and experience the world in a different way. I think in analogies. It makes me a better writer. And a better human.
\n\n\nI stumbled across something the other day that gave me pause. Pathological Demand Avoidance. It’s a subtype of autism spectrum disorder characterized by a greater refusal to do what is asked of the person, even if it’s something they would normally really like to do. I’ve especially noticed this in myself since Mr. Virgo died. If something is my idea, and I have control over it, I’m ok. But, when someone asks me to do something…or I’m expected to do something…it automatically stirs my fight or flight response and I get very anxious.
\n\n\nThis has caused me no end of self-recrimination. It’s made me feel weak. But, I’m telling you, just reading about it has flipped a switch…the light bulb went on. I wasn’t a bad person because I couldn’t go do something with the kids or help a friend. My brain just doesn’t process requests the same as everyone else. A request makes me feel trapped. Reading about PDA is enlightening…and freeing.
\n\n\nI’ve been using my time in TOW-Wanda this summer for self-reflection. Here’s what I’ve come up with so far…
\n\n\n“Normal” is just a setting on the dryer.
\n\n\nWe all fall somewhere on a vast rainbow of diversity. Knowing this gives me a whole new level of empathy and curiosity and love.
\n\n\n?
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2021-07-21T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/07/21/the-mysteries-of-neurodiversity.html", "tags": ["Wisdom","Aging","Insight"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/07/19/the-mistakes-of-others.html", "title": "The Mistakes of Others", "content_html": "\n“My brothers, show no partiality as you hold the faith in our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory. For if a man wearing a gold ring and fine clothing comes into your assembly, and a poor man in shabby clothing also comes in, and if you pay attention to the one who wears the fine clothing and say, “You sit here in a good place,” while you say to the poor man, “You stand over there,” or, “Sit down at my feet,” have you not then made distinctions among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts? Listen, my beloved brothers, has not God chosen those who are poor in the world to be rich in faith and heirs of the kingdom, which he has promised to those who love him?”
\nJames 2:1-5 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/241880f201.jpg\")
I’ve always imparted this little tidbit to young people. “You can’t possibly live long enough to make ALL the mistakes. Learn from the mistakes of others.” It’s a lesson that I’m still living out.
\n\n\nI got a friend request from someone over the weekend. I knew absolutely for certain we were already friends, so I took a screenshot and sent it to her asking…is this you? Turns out, it was. She’s been on Facebook for over ten years. Yet, a couple of weeks ago, someone hacked her FB account, changed the password, hijacked a credit card she had on file to use for FB ads…racking up a pretty hefty bill. The money wasn’t what upset her…she has coverage for that and will get it back. However…there’s so much she’ll never see again.
\n\n\nThey not only hacked her account and changed the password. They also DELETED her Facebook page. The whole thing…gone. She had only recently backed up her profile so she has a little bit of stuff, but there is so much that she can never get back.
\n\n\nShe won’t see the sweet comments of family members no longer with us. She won’t see the photos her friends no family shared with her. Some friends and family who are gone had Facebook pages that she was “friends” with, but now…there’s no one there to approve her new friendship request. She can’t go back and browse their page and remember.
\n\n\nThat’s what really hit home for me. What if I lost connection with Mr. Virgo’s page? Granted…I don’t go to it very often anymore, but I want to be able to visit if the mood strikes me. My friend suggested we always make sure a trusted mutual friend has your login info in case you ever need to get back in.
\n\n\nI’ve also worried about this page. That’s why I spent an inordinate amount of time copy every singe post from three years worth of writing and put it on my website. Time very well spent. I still need to do a full backup of both pages…on a regular basis. So, I’m setting a weekly reminder to do just that. I would be devastated if I lost eight years of your comments, love, wisdom and support here on Marshmallow Ranch.
EDIT: Here’s how to back up your page.
I didn’t explain it as well as my friend. She was referring to pages you may be an administrator for. Like, group pages. For instance, my high school class has a group page. For years it had one administrator. We went through a stretch there where we lost several class members and I thought…what would happen if something happened to her? So I sent her a suggestion that we should have more than one admin. She asked if I wanted to be an admin and I said sure. Later, we added a third person. That way, if my account were to be deleted and I needed to make a new account, there would be someone on my page that could approve my request to log in. Make sense?
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/63db49925f.jpg\")
The weekend was good. We got a lot done and went to visit the kids at their boarding stable. They needed to borrow our welder to fix a mower. The weather this week is going to be decidedly cooler so sleeping with the windows open in TOW-Wanda will be delightful!
\n\n\nHappy Monday, everyone!
\n\n\n?
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2021-07-19T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/07/19/the-mistakes-of-others.html", "tags": ["Wisdom","Warning","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/06/04/play-ball.html", "title": "Play Ball!", "content_html": "\n“The prudent sees danger and hides himself, but the simple go on and suffer for it.”
\nProverbs 22:3 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/a171e57789.jpg\")
I gained a whole lot more family members when I married Mr. FixIt. One of my bonus granddaughters plays softball for our Alma Mater and the league tournament began this week. They lost their first game to our arch rivals. They won their second game and, since our rivals lost their second, we played them again last night. Our girls came out like the fighters they are and it was touch and go there for a while. But, ultimately the rivals won and ended our granddaughter’s season. She’ll be a senior next year and that will be the last WV grandchild to graduate high school.
\n\n\nHow quickly those growing up years seem to fly...when it’s not you doing the parenting. You never feel like it flew by till it’s over. While you’re in the midst of it all, it seems to last three lifetimes. You think you can’t wait till all those travel games and practices are over...until they are. Then you mourn the loss.
\n\n\nIt seems to be that way with most things in life, doesn’t it? When you’re young and just starting out, it feels like forever till you’re your parents’ age. Then, all of a sudden, you have great grandchildren and you wonder how in the heck it happened in the blink of an eye. I really enjoy being the grandparent watching my grands growing up and achieving big things. Daughter #1 will be here with the girls at the end of the month. She’s taking Big to look at colleges. Wasn’t she just in kindergarten last year?
\n\n\nI love watching my daughter parent her girls. I love when the lightbulb goes on in her mind and she “gets it”. She used to complain that we let her little sister get away with MUCH more than she could. Now she realizes no two kids are the same and what worked with one, doesn’t necessarily work with the other. I love when she turns to me for advice, or a recipe, or to confirm the date of her great-grandma’s birthday. (Which she got right, by the way.)
\n\n\nI look back over my life and wonder which part was the best. Was it when I was young and ignorant of the ways of the world...newly married and living in England? Was it when my first child was born there and my mom flew all that way to come see her? Was it the lean years with Hubby #2 as we worked hard to put him through medical school...or was it the fat years when he practiced medicine and Daughter #2 came along? Was it becoming a grandmother for the first time? Was it when I married Mr. Virgo on the deck of my favorite restaurant overlooking Mt. Sopris in the distance, surrounded by family and friends? Was it when I went into the wilderness of Colorado as a new widow and came out a different and stronger woman? Was it living on the farm...the home of my heart?
\n\n\nI think, in looking back, EVERY time is the best time. I know for a fact that NOW is the best time. I’m married to my best friend. I live in the country on five acres. I have an amazing family. I have a camper, my health, and the means to live a comfortable life. Getting to watch a softball game in person or watching a swim meet online, or hearing our great granddaughter say, “I love you, Gigi!” Yep...this is the best time of all!
\n\n\n?
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2021-06-04T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/06/04/play-ball.html", "tags": ["Family","Fun","West Virginia","Gratitude","Peace","Wisdom","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/05/28/days.html", "title": "3,000 Days", "content_html": "\n“May you live to see your children’s children....”
\nPsalms 128:6 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/35f179da17.jpg\")
Grandma’s Peonies
\n\n\nWhile Mr. FixIt busied himself fixing the door into our pole building, I headed to the farm to bring some more stuff home. I have to admit...I stretched out on Grandma’s bed for a half hour before I packed up the truck. Soaking up the atmosphere. It feels good. I really don’t have a whole lot left out there...but I don’t pack the truck too full with each load. It gives me more trips to the farm! I canceled the Dish Network account out at the farm this morning...thus ending a 23 year run with them. It will be interesting to find out how long that phone number has been in the family!
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/433adb29b3.jpg\")
Wisteria
\n\n\nI had a little walkabout and photographed Grandma’s flowers. I think her peonies are the prettiest I’ve ever seen. The irises are lovely, and since irises need to be thinned on occasion, I’m going to bring just a few over to the Ponderosa and make a special flower bed out near my new mini-campground we’re putting in. I also have a she-shed in my future that I want to build out there as part of my little compound for gathering my girlfriends and campout. I have it pictured in my mind. Now I just need to gather old doors and wood to build it with! I have so many projects I want to complete here at the Ponderosa. I do believe, once it’s complete, it shall be renamed...what? Marshmallow Ranch, of course!
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/d9c38608c0.jpg\")
Clematis and Carolina Spice Bush
\n\n\nI got the nicest note from Frank and Beans on Wednesday night. They were on their way down to WV to work on their cabin, so when I was finished loading what I wanted to bring home yesterday, I headed up to see what’s going on. They have one of those driveways that are very common in these West Virginia hills...straight up! Well, not really...but it sure seemed that way. I jumped out of the truck to greet my newest friends and look at their place. It’s beautiful up there and they have a view that looks right out over the treetops. It reminds me of pictures taken above the canopy of a rainforest...but without the monkeys!
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/8614fdc7ca.jpg\")
Iris, foreground...Rhododendron, background
\n\n\nWhen they had their driveway graded, the folks doing the work found a huge rock in the shape of a heart. It has special meaning to Frank, so I brought them another heart shaped rock I brought home from Colorado and gave it to them as a housewarming gift. I couldn’t stay long, but we vowed to stay in touch, and they reiterated I am welcome to stay at the farm anytime. Just sitting on the porch during a rainstorm will be a huge treat, let alone getting to stay for a day or two.
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/bcacff59f3.jpg\")
Iris
\n\n\nI stopped at the store on the way home and fixed a quick supper. We have been dining on the deck every night under the pergola. We’ve only stayed out long enough to turn the market lights on a couple of times because we’ve been so busy with projects. But I envision more late nights out there as we catch up a little. Especially when the kids are here. I’m looking forward to doing more entertaining, as well.
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/09952aa4e1.jpg\")
Iris
\n\n\nIt’s supposed to rain today and the weather will turn quite cool over the next few days. The nights will be especially cool...good sleeping weather. I have discovered something very interesting. Now that I write in the spare bedroom, I am sleeping much more soundly when I get up and go to our room. Something about separating “work” from home has really improved my sleep hygiene. I sure wish TOW-Wanda was here and fixed already...I’d really enjoy sleeping out there on these cool nights. That’s what I get for procrastinating getting her to the RV Doctor!
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/054ec1ed72.jpg\")
Multiflora Rose
\n\n\nOh, and another thing...just as a matter of course. Today marks 3,000 days since Mr. Virgo died. I never could have dreamed of this life...of experiencing joy and happiness and deep love again. I couldn’t picture myself surviving that loss, let alone coming out the other side with a beautiful and fulfilling life. I just thought I would share that with you so that...if you are bereaved...there is hope for a good life down the road. I know it’s such a hard, hard journey...but a good life is worth working for.
\n\n\n?
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2021-05-28T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/05/28/days.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Grief","Positive Energy","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Choices","Change","Widow","Marriage","Healing"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/05/25/getting-things-done-and-making.html", "title": "Getting Things Done and Making Big Decisions", "content_html": "\n“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”
\nJeremiah 29:11 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/0341d05f94.jpg\")
Shredded Documents
\n\n\nWe’ve been checking things off the master list of things to do here at the Ponderosa this spring. And, I’ve got to say...it feels pretty good. The end of the house that we painted and put a new storm door on looks great! The electric line over to the deck is going to come in very handy. We had the kids over Sunday evening and plugged a fan in and it made all the difference sitting out there. Plus, the market lights are so pretty.
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/b0906c5830.jpg\")
New Paint and Doors
\n\n\nMr. FixIt had things to do in town today and I elected to stay home and get some things done here. I had all kinds of plans, but ended up sitting for five hours shredding documents. We’d been putting it off, and since I’ve been doing some deep cleaning and organizing, today was the day. I still have some to do, but managed to get the most of it done. Now, to file the papers that weren’t shredded. Oy! The work of life is never done, is it?
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/291ec18bfa.jpg\")
Irises Blooming
\n\n\nI remember when I was a new widow, sold my house and 95% of personal belongings...I felt so incredibly free and liberated. There was none of this accumulating, organizing, cleaning, purging, and re-accumulating that life seems to be filled with. My time was my own, to come and go as I pleased. Now, my time is full....but I’m incredibly happy. Not so much with the clutter, but we’re dealing with that...slowly, but surely.
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/2008ed5b8e.jpg\")
A Room Always Looks Worse Before it Looks Better
\n\n\nChange has been a big focus in our lives the last few weeks with the sale of the farm. And, it has come to change our priorities in a way I didn’t expect. For the last couple of years, we’ve been giving serious consideration to selling the Ponderosa and moving to our acre lot near town. The driving had become cumbersome, and the responsibilities and upkeep seemed to loom large as we begin to wind down toward our sunset years.
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/68100d2146.jpg\")
The Butterflies are Coming Back
\n\n\nLiving near town had great appeal to me. Our friends and family are there. We’d be closer to medical facilities and shopping. And our outdoor chores would be minimal compared to here. However, knowing the farm was always there to commune with nature and get our “country fix” made it easier to think of letting this property go. After going through what I’ve experienced with the farm selling, I gained a greater insight to Mr. FixIt’s attachment to this place.
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/6860acbf7f.jpg\")
Mama Box Turtle in the Far Field
\n\n\nI know how I feel losing my lifetime home. This weekend when we were driving home from mowing at the farm, I asked him how committed he was to selling out and building on our other property. He’s lived here on the Ponderosa for 45 years or so. That’s a long time to put down roots. We discussed all the pros and cons and what it would take to even get the lot ready to build a house on....all huge considerations.
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/daeddb3146.jpg\")
Milkweed...Waiting on Monarchs
\n\n\nIn the end, we’ve decided to just stay put where we are for the time being. For a lot of reasons, really. Neither one of us are ready to give up farm life yet. I love waking up to the neighbor’s rooster. I love the mockingbirds in the hedgerow and the lightning bugs in the field. I love the little town we live close to. I love having a garden and a pool and a place to see the stars. I especially love having a place to “camp” on our own property. It’s what I moved to West Virginia for in the first place...to live in the country.
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/21c588886d.jpg\")
The Near Field by the Road
\n\n\nMr. FixIt agrees. This is home to him. And, somehow...after going through the farm selling...it’s suddenly become more “home” to me, too. Besides, Covid showed us we don’t need to drive to town as often as we were...merely out of boredom. We’ve saved money on gas and dining out and extra shopping. And, we’re getting this place fixed up and more like “ours” and less like “theirs”.
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/0e42c074d9.jpg\")
Sunset Over the Far Field
\n\n\nI’m feeling more settled this week than I have in a long time. Having the sale of the farm dangling over my head for the last few years has been difficult for me....like waiting for the ax to fall. Now that it’s here, I know where home really is. It’s wherever we are...so, it might as well be here because it’s what we are blessed with. Sometimes the best things in life are right under our noses.
\n\n\n?
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2021-05-25T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/05/25/getting-things-done-and-making.html", "tags": ["West Virginia","Wisdom","Aging","Farm Life","Home"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/05/18/my-grandma-had-a-dream.html", "title": "My Grandma Had a Dream", "content_html": "\n“By wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established; by knowledge the rooms are filled with all precious and pleasant riches.”
\nProverbs 24:3-4 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/72a5b105b9.jpg\")
She was only fifteen when she ran off with the hired hand on her daddy’s farm and got married in Oakland, Maryland. She finished eighth grade, and could read and write and cipher. PopPop was twenty-two. He also left school when his daddy died young, leaving his mama to raise five little boys under the age of ten. He was the oldest and he needed to help feed his little brothers.
\n\n\nGrandma always dreamed of having a farm of their own where they could raise their kids and feed them with what they could grow. She was a farm girl, after all. I have pictures of her riding the plow horse when my great grandfather put up hay for their cattle. Grandma saw that long drink of water in my PopPop and the rest, as they say, is history.
\n\n\nLife has a way of happening in spite of what you plan. I’m still learning of their early years. I know they were married in 1921. Her first born was a little boy, named after his daddy. He was born sleeping in 1924. I do not know where he was laid to rest, but I do know that my mom was born the following year in Indiana where PopPop and Grandma had gone for work. Their second child was born in Illinois the year before the Great Depression began. They had two more children before they headed back home to West Virginia. They had six children before the Depression ended.
\n\n\nAs I moved things around yesterday, preparing to pack up the last of my belongings, I noticed something was taped to the window frame in Grandma’s room. When I took a closer look, I smiled. I’m sure the rest of the article clipped from the Journal Star of Peoria, Illinois is somewhere in my papers. I remember it was a photo of some flowers in a garden...Lily of the Valley, to be exact. They reminded Grandma of home, so she cut that picture out and vowed to find her a farm where these delicate little flowers could grow. She finally did, sometime between 1932 and 1934.
\n\n\nWest Virginia was home to both of them, and they soon found a place back on the hill on this very farm. Eventually, they purchased the farm and moved down off the hill into the present house. Grandma always said...this farm was her dream and she never wanted to live anywhere else in the whole wide world.
\n\n\nWhen my grandma became older, my Aunt Peeps took this clipping and taped it to the window frame in Grandma’s bedroom where she could look at it. She always called this place her little slice of heaven, and my aunt wanted her to see her coming heavenly home as something loved and familiar.
\n\n\nAs I sat on the front porch during my dinner break, it started raining. I threw a handful of old English Walnuts into the yard to lure the squirrels out for a treat. I noticed a little scuffle under the rhododendron and soon, out popped mama robin with three fledglings chasing her...wanting to be fed. They’re big enough to eat on their own...but they wanted the comfort of something familiar. I could relate.
\n\n\nYou see, even though I’ve been saying I let go of the farm already, it’s obvious to anyone reading my posts the last couple of weeks...that wasn’t quite true. It’s the same as these little fledgling robins...I need to leave the nest, but I want the place to feed me. I once climbed a cliff with Hubby #2. When I looked down, I froze. He tried to talk me out of my fear but I was escalating. Finally, he calmly said...
\n\n\n“Well, you can figure out a way to move on from this point, or you can buy real estate here.”
\n\n\nI got the same message yesterday from a very dear friend. She shoots from the hip and kicks me in the butt when I need it.
\n\n\n“Look, you’re going to either need to buy the d*** place, or move on. You can’t stay where you are.”
\n\n\nThey were both right...unless I’m prepared to buy the real estate where I am...and I just can’t. I mean...I COULD, but I shouldn’t, I have to find a way to move on. I’m finding little bread crumbs...marking the trail in the direction I need to go. Finding this little snippet of old, crackly newspaper with my aunt’s shaky writing on it let me know I’m on the right track. It says...
\n\n\n“Mom’s Lily of the Valley”
\n\n\nIt was a picture of what she dreamed of having one day. This was it...her special place. She made sure I loved it like she did. And now she’s leading me on to great adventures elsewhere. (It’s more accurate to say, my memories of her are inspiring me. I’m not ACTUALLY having conversations with dead people.) I’m not sure what the next adventure will look like, but I know who my traveling partner is...my sweet Mr. FixIt. And, as he says...
\n\n\n“There’s always an adventure with Ginny McKinney!”
\n\n\nMy story isn’t finished yet, but I’m telling you what...I am so grateful to have had this little slice of heaven to call my home and to love with all my heart, whether I owned it or not.
\n\n\n?
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2021-05-18T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/05/18/my-grandma-had-a-dream.html", "tags": ["Family","West Virginia","The Farm","Comfort","Wisdom","Farm Life"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/05/17/it-was-the-best-of.html", "title": "It Was the Best of Times...It Was the Worst of Times", "content_html": "\n“Everything on earth has its own time and its own season.”
\nEcclesiastes 3:1 CEV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/5b84ed3082.jpg\")
Charles Dickens was speaking of the events leading up to the French Revolution, of course. And my little slice of reality is nothing in comparison. However, whenever we are going through hard things, our things are the hardest things because they’re OUR things. Grief has many sources, and it’s no small thing to walk away from your family home.
\n\n\nI’ve been at the farm since Saturday afternoon. I thought I’d get a lot done yesterday, but I did not. And that’s ok. I sat on the front porch most of the day, staring at my grandma’s huge rhododendron. It isn’t lost on me that THE most beautiful peak of bloom is occurring during my last official day here. Tomorrow evening is the close of the auction. I’ve asked everyone I know to buy the farm so I can still come here. Who knows the fate of this land besides God? I just have this wonderful feeling it’s going into the hands of someone who will love it the same as I do. I’m going to stand on that conviction.
\n\n\nI was a sponge yesterday...soaking up every ounce of love from this place. I awoke to the beloved sound of a gentle rain on the tin roof...even though we had no such rain predicted. I drove over to the service station-diner-convenience store-tire center early to get some butter. I forgot to bring some over and I want pancakes on my last morning here. The time passed all too quickly and just as the light began to change, I snapped this shot of the perfect blossoms on the perfect bush in the most perfect place I know. I sat on the porch and watched the chipmunks chasing each other around the yard. A flicker kept sweeping in to the old, rotten stump of the poplar tree my PopPop planted years ago...snatching an insect here and there, then flying on. A big, fat rabbit slowly made its way along the base of the spirea along the ditch by the road....nibbling on the new grass and avoiding the bee balm and flags.
\n\n\nThe neighbor across the road was planting his garden. It’s always so lovely because he keeps the deer out with an electric fence. Otherwise, it’s nothing but a salad bar for critters. His wife came out with Molly, their one year old lab pup who is full of boundless energy. Bees from the hives down the road buzzed from flower to flower. I happily munched on my sandwich, sharing some chips with the chipmunks. Four-wheelers came one by one down the road...heading back home after a fun day of “muddin’” on the area’s many dirt roads that lead to old oil and gas wells and timber cuts.
\n\n\nAs night fell, I talked with Mr. FixIt. I told him I saw him on the security camera planting OUR garden. I laughed and told him he can’t get away with anything now that we’ve put those in! lol We hung up and I came in, locking the doors behind me...just as Grandma did over the decades she lived in this little red house in the holler. This is my last day. The last night I’ll spend in my grandma’s house. Even if it DOES sell to someone I know and even if I DO get to sleep in here again...it’ll be different. It won’t be ours...mine. Not physically, anyway.
\n\n\nLife is still lovely...and it will go on. More stories will come. I’ll remember things I haven’t told you about the old home place. And...more likely than not...I’ll tell you stories I’ve told you before. I’m of that age, you know. It’s one of the joys of growing older...you get to tell stories with freshness because you can’t remember who you’ve told them to before. Probably easier on me than you, come to think of it.
\n\n\nThe barred owl came to talk softly to me in the growing darkness. He didn’t give his usual full call....just a short “coo” to let me know he was there. Then, ever so slowly, he made his way from tree to tree...getting further and further away...till I could just barely hear him in the woods on the far hill. Fitting, I think....that things get softer and further away as I let this lovely place go.
\n\n\nTomorrow morning, you’ll read of my last night here...but it’s surely not the last you’ll hear about the farm.
\n\n\n?
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2021-05-17T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/05/17/it-was-the-best-of.html", "tags": ["Faith","Grief","West Virginia","The Farm","Gratitude","Grace","Wisdom","Farm Life","Insight"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/05/15/god-has-bigger-hands.html", "title": "God Has Bigger Hands", "content_html": "\n“I will bless you with a future filled with hope—a future of success, not of suffering. You will turn back to me and ask for help, and I will answer your prayers.”
\nJeremiah 29:11-12 CEV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/c1fff06ce0.jpg\")
Lord, I’ve tried to keep up with everything the last few months. When I posted yesterday’s message, I was so incredibly overwhelmed with all that’s on my plate and I was at my wit’s end. So, I did what I do when the burning ends of the candle are threatening to meet in the middle. I had a conversation with God. I told him I was tired and I really needed to sleep. I said I felt like I was beating my head against a brick wall with these taxes and I just could NOT figure out what was wrong. I handed everything over to Him and said, “Can you take care of this tonight so I can rest. In the morning, you can tell me what I’m doing wrong and what I need to do to fix it.” God has bigger hands than me.
\n\n\nI slept like a baby.
\n\n\nYesterday morning, I got up and was just heading into the office when the carpet dudes showed up. And, of course, they had to play music. It wasn’t objectionably loud, but I have a hard time concentrating when there’s noise and let me tell you...hammering nails down into concrete for fastening carpet is a noisy proposition. I was feeling the frustration rising when Mr. FixIt popped in, touched my shoulder, and said, “How’s it coming?” I said under my breath, “It would be a lot easier if they weren’t playing their music so loud.” He softened, his voice took on that tone of compassion he uses when he knows I’m tense, but he also knows I’m going to have to suck it up a little bit and put on my big girl panties.
\n\n\n“They need the music, baby. It helps get them through long, hard days.”
\n\n\nHe know just what to say and how to say it. I saw it through their eyes and realized, laying carpet is backbreaking work. The least thing they could have is the joy music gives them while doing it. My shoulders loosened and I tuned out the tunes.
\n\n\nI opened the computer and said to God, “Ok...show me what you’ve got.” I closed my eyes and thought it through. There are files on the hard drive where TurboTax saves your returns. Yes...I had started an amended return when I couldn’t figure out what was wrong, but thank goodness I listened to that still small voice and didn’t file it. I had looked for the folder before and couldn’t find it. I looked in a different folder and...eureka!!! I found the original file, opened it...and all the info I thought was missing was right there in front of me! Thank you, God!
\n\n\nI have no idea why TurboTax didn’t transfer the data from the year before, but I just used the figures and it worked out fine. Well...that is, until I filed the returns online. They were rejected. Something about a PIN and my AGI. I decided to print the returns and just mail them in. Alas...no working printers. Went to town to Office Depot, bought an inexpensive printer, and voila...I printed out everything I need...including last year’s return for my records.
\n\n\nTonight I’m going to give it to God again and ask him to help me figure out what I did wrong with the e-file and see if I can try it again this morning.
\n\n\nIn the meantime...we have NEW CARPET! I sent photos to my peeps. Other than the one time I built a house (after a divorce), I’ve never had new carpet. I feel like SUCH an adult! lol It turned out so pretty. And the vinyl laminate flooring Mr. FixIt put in the entryways is perfect! He started putting things back in the room and I asked him to wait. I want to be more selective about what we put in there. I don’t want it to be too cluttery like it was before.
\n\n\nMore things checked off the list!
\n\n\nIt was a good day.
\n\n\n?
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2021-05-15T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/05/15/god-has-bigger-hands.html", "tags": ["Faith","God","Wisdom","Choices","Be Joyful!","Control"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/04/20/adjust-your-dreamsagain.html", "title": "Adjust Your Dreams...Again!", "content_html": "\n“do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
\nPhilippians 4:6-7 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/621d172198.jpg\")
When Mr. Virgo and I were beginning to think about retirement, I was adamant about one thing. I was NOT going to spend my retirement sitting in front of the television all day, every day...day in and day out. It wasn’t going to happen. That’s when I struck upon the idea of getting a camper. He was an avid golfer and I figured he would be thrilled to toodle along with me, towing our little house on wheels from course to course. Surprisingly, he agreed and we started looking for the perfect camper.
\n\n\nFast forward a few months and he had died, along with so many dreams of the future we had planned. Television was no longer a part of my life, but the price I paid for quiet evenings was dreadfully steep. I disconnected the satellite and didn’t look back. For five years, I traveled and wrote and learned to live alone for the first time in my life. Eventually the pain of my grief eased, but I never, ever missed television one iota.
\n\n\nWhen I came off the road and started living at the farm, the TV was hooked up to satellite and I felt it was important, living that far out on my own, to have some access to news and weather. So, I kept it...but didn’t watch it. Then...along came Mr. FixIt.
\n\n\nWe had strict rules at the farm. We did not watch TV. We played cards, cooked dinner together, and went for long walks. We created projects to do and went for drives in the country and literally just sat on the porch and watched it rain. It was peaceful and he was so happy to be with me, he never pushed the “no TV” rule.
\n\n\nAhhhh....as with all things, the honeymoon was short lived. When we moved into the big house at the Ponderosa, there was a new set of rules. It started out slowly. The news. Maybe a sitcom or two. Then, before I knew what was happening, the TV was on WAY more than my liking. But, I learned something in losing Mr. Virgo. It wasn’t all about me. It was never meant to be all about me. I was just trying to make it so because it was something I loathed and I wanted him to loathe it as well.
\n\n\nI’ve posted a meme here many times and included my Ten Rules in the care and feeding of a relationship. One of them was... “Don’t try to change him. You cannot change him. Do not, do not, do not try to change him.” I’ve given up on the TV thing. If Mr. FixIt wants to watch the TV till the cows come home...fine. I cannot change him. However, I CAN change me and how I respond to it. That’s when I started devoting the hours before bed to my writing and reading my devotionals and catching up with family and friends.
\n\n\nSo, here we are at the beach. After the news, I picked up my iPad and came down to the bedroom to write. And, lo and behold, about ten minutes later, he popped his head in the door and asked if I wanted to head down to the sound to watch the sunset. You bet I do, sweetheart! I’m closing this for the night and going out with my love and watch the sun close on another lovely day away...just he and me...and no TV!
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/af25aacc04.jpg\")
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/148a9dafc0.jpg\")
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/a2f6899f22.jpg\")
?
\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2021-04-20T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/04/20/adjust-your-dreamsagain.html", "tags": ["Travel","Fun","Peace","Wisdom","Choices","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/04/17/in-a-matter-of-moments.html", "title": "In a Matter of Moments", "content_html": "\n“But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.”
\nGalatians 5:16 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/ac31e6281e.jpg\")
Whenever we head out on a long road trip, I am always careful to ask God for travel mercies and you all are always so good about praying for us, too. I wanted to let you know how well those prayers worked.
\n\n\nWe left home about 9:15 yesterday morning and took the cat to the Kitty Hilton. We stopped for a breakfast sandwich and complained that the line was so long. But, we stuck it out, got our meal, and I almost pulled out of the parking lot to eat on the road. Instead, I thought better of it and we pulled into a parking space to enjoy breakfast.
\n\n\nWe got on the road just a couple of minutes before 10:00 and headed south on the interstate. We came around a turn and I could see something white lying over on the tree line. I immediately slowed down. Two cars had just pulled over and put their flashers on. There was a man walking near what we found was a semi tractor trailer laying on its side. The trailer was ripped open and a white “mist” was rising from the opening. I looked back at the road and saw dirt and grass from the median where the truck dragged it across both lanes.
\n\n\nThere were NO tire tracks through the dirt!
\n\n\nThat meant, the truck had literally crossed our path minutes before we came through there. It turns out, the load in the trailer was some sort of hazardous substance that can cause difficulties breathing if exposed to it. If we hadn’t waited in the line and taken a few moments to eat before driving...it could have been disastrous. I keep a cross hanging from the rear view mirror of my truck. I immediately reached up, grabbed that cross, and thanked God for keep us all safe.
\n\n\nThere are so many petty annoyances we go through every day and we may grouse and grump about them incessantly. But, it’s very important to remember...sometimes that delay was to keep you from being hurt....or from hurting someone else. A little gratitude goes a long way...even when things aren’t working out just as you planned!
\n\n\n???
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2021-04-17T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/04/17/in-a-matter-of-moments.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Gratitude","God","Wisdom","Humbled"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/04/11/in-search-of-the-silver.html", "title": "In Search of the Silver Linings", "content_html": "\n“He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.” For he will deliver you from the snare of the fowler and from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you with his pinions, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness is a shield and buckler. You will not fear the terror of the night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in darkness, nor the destruction that wastes at noonday. A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you. You will only look with your eyes and see the recompense of the wicked. Because you have made the Lord your dwelling place— the Most High, who is my refuge — no evil shall be allowed to befall you, no plague come near your tent. For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways. On their hands they will bear you up, lest you strike your foot against a stone. You will tread on the lion and the adder; the young lion and the serpent you will trample underfoot. “Because he holds fast to me in love, I will deliver him; I will protect him, because he knows my name. When he calls to me, I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will rescue him and honor him. With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation.””
\nPsalm 91:1-16 ESV\n
![\"Grandma’s](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/7f33d03123.jpg\")
The Farm
\n\n\nYesterday we talked about letting the farm go and the inevitability of change in our lives. I read the lovely comments and encouraging words you left me on my post and it gave me much to think about throughout the day. When life hands me lemons, I start looking for all the different ways to use them. There are so many ways to make a lemon sweet and more palatable.
\n\n\nWhen I took over the farm in 2016, I also took over the utilities. When I no longer have that to deal with, I’ll have at least an extra couple hundred dollars in my bank account. That’s a good amount of camping I could be doing. Also, we won’t be responsible for the mowing and that will give us a lot more time and less pressing need to always be here.
\n\n\nYou know, normally I never would have had the opportunity to spend more than a week or two at the farm when I came home for vacations every year. After Mr. Virgo passed and I came back to West Virginia to help my elderly aunt, I had a taste of life in the country. It only lasted ten weeks that go round, but it was enough to let me know it was the life for me.
\n\n\nWhen I returned to West Virginia in the summer of 2016, I was presented with an opportunity I couldn’t pass up. My uncle was taking my aunt to go live with him and he needed someone to live at the farm and take care of it. He asked if I could come off the road and stay there for him. I didn’t have to think twice.
\n\n\nHaving all this time to live in my grandparents’ house was such a gift from God. I did a lot of healing there. Not only from the wounds of losing my husband, but of losing so much of myself over the years. It brought me back to my simpler roots. I remember, as a doctor’s wife...talking to one of my lifelong friends. Apparently I needed to be brought down a peg or two because she reminded me, in no uncertain terms, that she and I had the same roots in the red clay of Appalachia and it would do me well to remember that.
\n\n\nI’ve never forgotten that conversation. Living a simple farm life after downsizing humbled me in a way nothing else has. As I read stories on Facebook yesterday, I was reminded of the most basic point. I am letting go of a house. I have friends letting go of their children, of their marriages, of their livelihoods. I have friends who are in life and death struggles with health concerns. I am letting go of a HOUSE. I’m not planning a funeral, yet I will grieve. I am not burying a loved one, yet I am bereaved.
\n\n\nIt isn’t lost on me the way God is helping me through this. Daughter #1 and her girls will be here the week before we have to vacate the farm. We are planning a gathering of family to say goodbye to the old girl...and to the long line of loved ones who called her home and are no longer with us. Little is staying with us while my daughter takes Big to go see colleges. You see? I get to not only share the farm with Little, but I get to share my heart and the stories of her ancestors and instill a love and appreciation for what came before her. She and I have never been together....here. It’s extraordinary how well orchestrated this is. God is so good!
\n\n\nIt is a natural process in life to grieve the things we lose that bring us such love. And, just as I have learned to keep Mr. Virgo’s memory alive within me, the same will be true of the farm. I will remember the sights, sounds, smells, and every little feeling that creaky old house gives me till the day I part this earthly plane. When I hear rain on the roof of a camper, I’ll be transported back in time to a little red house in the woods. When I lay my head on a pillow where I can hear the rushing sounds of water in a creek, I will close my eyes and remember.
\n\n\nWhen I hug those I love, I give away bits of the love my family poured into me. That love comes from an endless source...a fount of remembrances of love and joy and faith. I carry the farm within me. I AM THE FARM and THE FARM IS ME.
\n\n\nWe are one and we are love...simply because, we were loved. By the family and by the land upon which we stood. For we are but sojourners here.
\n\n\n?
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2021-04-11T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/04/11/in-search-of-the-silver.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","West Virginia","The Farm","Gratitude","Love","Wisdom","Peaceful Moments","Farm Life","Memories"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/02/10/day-lost-timeor-gratitude-you.html", "title": "Day 331: Lost Time...Or Gratitude? You Choose!", "content_html": "\n““The land shall not be sold in perpetuity, for the land is mine. For you are strangers and sojourners with me.”
\nLeviticus 25:23 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/cb79dbb544.jpg\")
I’ve been feeling a sense of loss lately and couldn’t quite put my finger on it. Although it felt familiar, it seemed like it was attached to something filed away in the deep recesses of my mind. It resembles grief, but not the deep grief I experienced losing Mr. Virgo. It’s more like the feeling I had after a different life altering event...my overdose.
\n\n\nWe’ve talked about that here in the past. It happened January 6, 2000...but it was a long time coming. There were seven long years of clinical depression, medical mismanagement, and self-medicating that led up to that sentinel event. And when I came out the other side, it was like waking up from a decade-long medically induced coma. I quite literally lost most of my late thirties into my early forties. I came out feeling robbed of my best years. I mourned that loss for quite some time.
\n\n\nThe loss of Mr. Virgo caused a different type of grief, yet I still felt robbed of the future we had planned. Robbed of my partner, my standard of living, my understanding of who I was. It seems I had barely rebuilt my life from the overdose, when I had to rebuild it again because he died.
\n\n\nThis is not nearly as intense as either of those, yet of enough import as to mention it here. One of the hardest things about hyperparathyroidism is the length of time it takes to get a diagnosis. The symptoms are so easily dismissed by doctors as being all in your head. I mean, really...who complains of pains that migrate from your left foot to your right arm to your left calf, etc? Getting forgetful? Well, you’re of a certain age now...it’s to be expected. Cranky? Hey, you’re post-menopausal. All women get that way. Can’t sleep? Hey, join the club. It goes on and on.
\n\n\nYou truly have to be your own health advocate when you deal with the medical community. There are ways of approaching doctors that don’t insult them and make them feel you don’t trust their opinion. And, if they do get all that huffy, then you end up changing doctors and start the process all over again. I read a source yesterday that said the average time from the onset of the symptoms of hyperparathyroidism and the diagnosis and required surgery is 8+ years. It would be easy to feel robbed of those years that you could have been feeling better, if only your doctor would have listened to you and checked your parathyroid hormone. Eight long years. At this stage in the game, when there are less years ahead of my next birthday than there are behind it, that is significant.
\n\n\nI sat and contemplated that yesterday and looked for the silver lining. There’s almost always a silver lining. I think the biggest is the advancements in the surgery involved to removed a parathyroid tumor. If I would have had this surgery even ten years ago, it would be a major ordeal. The incision used to be at least four inches long, and sometimes a vertical incision was added creating a huge upside down, T-shaped scar. The surgery might take three or four hours making it a major ordeal. The risks were huge with a surgery like that. It wasn’t uncommon to clip the nerve to the vocal chords and cause you to lose your voice, or...God forbid...both nerves causing paralysis of the voice box. Then you’d have to have a tracheostomy in order to breathe. Not good!
\n\n\nAnother benefit is, we caught it now...and not ten years from now. This is not an innocuous disease. It robs calcium from your bones, can cause kidney, heart and liver damage, and shorten your life by many years. I don’t believe I’ve had hyperparathyroidism longer than four years or so. Granted, over those four years, my symptoms have continually gotten worse, but...through my medical knowledge, understanding and self-advocacy, and through the sharp mind of a wonderful nurse practitioner...I’m ahead of the game.
\n\n\nYes, I could feel robbed of precious time, but I’ve learned from the past, that doesn’t serve me. Being grateful for what you do have, and what you DON’T have, keeps your mind in the right place. It doesn’t help a bit to live in the past. And now that I know what this is, and that there are so many others who suffer from it, I can be an advocate and an educator. And that puts me in a much healthier stance. Always looking forward in gratitude and with hope.
\n\n\nRead more about hyperparathyroidism HERE.
\n\n\n?
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2021-02-10T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/02/10/day-lost-timeor-gratitude-you.html", "tags": ["Wisdom","Aging","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/02/07/day-the-pushmepullyou.html", "title": "Day 328: The PushMe-PullYou", "content_html": "\n“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.”
\nJames 1:17 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/a221221a34.jpg\")
Do you remember the movie “Doctor Doolittle”? There was a two-headed llama called a PushMe-PullYou. I always got a kick out of it because...being a Gemini...I could really relate. I’m always going in at LEAST two different directions...often times more. That has become decidedly more difficult since I am “of a certain age” now. But it is complicated by one of the nasty symptoms of my hyperparathyroidism.
\n\n\nI have read so much about this disease in the last six months and it’s fascinating. It’s a disease than can cut your life short, yet the culprits are four tiny little glands no bigger than a grain of rice attached to the back of the thyroid. It’s not easy to diagnose. The symptoms can sound like they’re all in your head which, unfortunately, too many doctors assume are. And, they can make you feel like you’re going crazy or getting Alzheimer’s.
\n\n\nOnce I finally got on the right track towards a diagnosis, then the fight became finding a doctor that believed me. We have to be our own advocates when we are ill. When I grew up, I was taught that doctors are to be revered and never questioned. Then I was was married to one for 21 years and I know for a fact...they put their pants on one leg at a time, just like the rest of us. That being said, it does take a bit of diplomacy when showing your primary care doctor the evidence that substantiates a diagnosis of hyperparathyroidism. It seems, they may put their pants on one leg at a time, but their egos to bruise easily.
\n\n\nI’ve been blessed that the nurse practitioner in my PCP’s office is the one who ordered my tests and made the diagnosis. I didn’t have any trouble getting a referral to an endocrinologist, however, I was not at all happy with the first one I saw. He essentially blew me off. I had to be assertive (which isn’t always my strong suit) and press for a second opinion. The next endocrinologist totally got what I was saying, evaluated my tests, and agreed...I needed to see an endocrine surgeon.
\n\n\nI could have tried someone relatively close by...but Hubby #2 definitely suggested I see someone who does a lot of these surgeries. The parathyroid glands are near the vocal chords and you can paralyze one, or both (God forbid) during surgery, so you want someone who knows what their doing. I found that in the Norman Parathyroid Center in Tampa, Florida. I’ve gone through the initial intake and had my consultation with a surgeon. And he agrees...it’s a slam dunk case of a parathyroid adenoma and it needs to come out.
\n\n\nLast week, I got my surgery scheduled. We have to be there a couple of days early to have a covid test done. We spent the better part of the last couple of days planning our trip to Florida. It will come a couple of weeks after having our second Covid Vaccine shot. We’ll leave Pumpkin at the Kitty Hilton and head south. The first three days won’t be the fun part. Getting there and getting settled in our hotel in downtown Tampa, getting the covid test, and getting my bearings for the trip over on the day of surgery.
\n\n\nThe hotels the center use give you a good discount, and offer free parking and a ride to and from surgery. Because of Covid restriction, Mr. FixIt can’t come to the hospital, so I wanted to get a room nearby that he could be comfortable with. He wanted us to get one place that we would stay in during the whole trip. We want to stay fairly close to the beach, and in order to be more affordable, that would make for at least an hour drive each way. I would be a nervous wreck the morning of surgery if we got stuck in traffic. And if it caused me to miss my surgery...well, that would NOT be good. So, the first three nights are in the city. Then the following six nights are at the beach.
\n\n\nIf one has to have surgery, I can’t think of any place more wonderful to recuperate than a sunny beach on the Gulf Coast of Florida! I found a lovely suite with a kitchenette so we can cook in our room and not have to worry about dining out. And it’s just minutes from great beaches and quaint little tourist towns, and other sites. I felt so much better once I got that all scheduled. Now I just have to reserve a space for the kitty and make sure everything is squared away on the Ponderosa and we’ll be ready to rock and roll.
\n\n\nI’ve read many testimonials from other patients and actually have a friend from high school that has had this same surgery. They all remark they had no idea how BAD they felt till they had the surgery and felt wonderful again. Many of them remark the bone pain they have had for years is gone within hours after the surgery. Sometimes it takes a little longer, but most feel markedly better in a short amount of time. I’m really looking forward to getting this over with and I can get on with my life and feel better. I have LOTS of stuff to do yet!
\n\n\n?
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2021-02-07T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/02/07/day-the-pushmepullyou.html", "tags": ["Health","Wisdom","Choices","Change","Road Trip"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/02/01/day-the-path-to-the.html", "title": "Day 322: The Path to The Past is Long", "content_html": "\n“Hearing this, Jesus said to Jairus, “Don’t be afraid; just believe, and she will be healed.””
\nLuke 8:50 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/c256dce111.jpg\")
I can see that I am going to need to put a little structure into my time spent chasing rabbits down the pathways to my past. If not, I could very easily sit myself down in my big comfy chair and never get up. It is not lost on me that my mom developed the pulmonary emboli that killed her by sitting in her recliner, day after day, doing genealogy research. I believe I will need to assign certain hours as acceptable research time. The rest needs to be spent on something more physical and productive in order to maintain good health.
\n\n\nThat being said, I spent an extraordinary amount of time the last couple of days clicking on little green leaves and chasing innumerable “hints.” These are generated by the research of others as well as the algorithms of the website itself. You can’t just click and accept, either. You have to take some time and evaluate whether the information actually matches your ancestor or not. It’s tedious, time consuming, and definitely gives my mental faculties a good workout. Now, if I could just figure out a way to make it an aerobic activity, I’d hit the jackpot.
\n\n\nOne of the most frustrating things in genealogical research is when you hit a dead end and there just isn’t any more information. I’m at that point on a particular 2nd Great Grandfather. They had a huge family with something like seventeen kids. Now, add spouses and their own big families and it amounts to TWO three inch thick volumes of The Nutter Family History. Right now, I can’t put my hands on my mom’s copies. I believe they are at the farm and I need to go out and get them. I need to do some laundry this week anyway, so maybe I’ll make a little sojourn out there for a couple of days.
\n\n\nI haven’t found anything too terribly exciting yet. Mostly just documents that support what I’ve already done. But I believe there has been a release of census data since I last did this because I’m finding a big influx of that. You can find a huge amount of information on families if the census asked the right questions. For instance, in the early 1800’s, census takers literally just counted heads, male...female...and, unfortunately, race/freedom. More modern census takers asked for names, ages, what their role and relationship was to the head of the household. It listed whether they were in school and sometimes asked the highest grade completed. (My maternal grandparents didn’t go past 8th Grade, yet they put every child but one through college.)
\n\n\nDelving back into this research is relaxing. And, I have to say, the level of peace I’m feeling these days is remarkable. It hasn’t hurt that I unfollowed, snoozed, or blocked any number of people on my personal Facebook page in the last few months. When you have nothing much more than a “Happy Birthday” relationship with someone you likely will never go out of your way to spend time with...when you have someone who expounds ugly, angry political rhetoric on every single post they make...when you find your blood pressure rises every time you see their name come across your page...seriously, it’s ok to step back and re-evaluate. It’s ok to take a break. And, it’s ok to unfriend and even block people if they’re just plain making your life miserable. Life is seriously WAY too short for that. That being said, I have friends with differing political opinions that I genuinely care for and I maintain a connection for any number of reasons. We’re an odd bunch, humans.
\n\n\nSpeaking of odd, a few years ago I was helping reach out to my fellow high school classmates to encourage them to attend the next class reunion. One particular fellow I reached wasn’t on Facebook. I encouraged him to come on and join us so we could all catch up with each other. I have a robust circle of friends from our graduating class that I sincerely enjoy. This guy was a little...odd in his response. He asked why on earth he should join something that would be able to track his every move for the rest of his life. I poo-pooed the whole thing and thought it was just a little bit more than crazy. Then, I watched 60 Minutes last night.
\n\n\nFirst, their story about the bereaved of Covid just broke my heart. I will forever have tenderness for those who grieve the untimely loss of their beloveds. Then, the subject switched to...of all currently relevant things...the popularity of DNA testing under the auspices of genealogical research. There is so much more going on in the back side of that...namely genetic and pharmaceutical/biomedical research. It went on to discuss security breaches, computer hacks, and the role China is playing in the race to win the next “space race”...the acquisition of DNA, genomes, and the resulting data. It is more than a little disconcerting to hear about the real probabilities of “Big Brother” and the data we’ve already essentially given away.
\n\n\nWell, at this point, my DNA is out there. So is the DNA of my children and grandchildren... simply because I spit in a test tube to find out where my ancestors came from. We really have no idea the impact what we do today will have on the future. It’s anybody’s guess and the possibilities are endless. I think back on my odd little friend from high school and think...
\n\n\nMaybe he wasn’t so odd after all.
\n\n\n?
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2021-02-01T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/02/01/day-the-path-to-the.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Wisdom","Aging","Choices","Friends","Control"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/01/24/day-doctor-doctori-can-walk.html", "title": "Day 314: Doctor, Doctor...I Can Walk!", "content_html": "\n“I was young and now I am old...”
\nPsalms 37:25 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/5f8f6941fa.jpg\")
I’ve survived a lot in my sixty-seven years. Abuse, trauma, addiction, depression. And, every time I’ve gone through a rough patch, I come out feeling such a tremendous sense of relief and gratitude that the pain finally stopped. I have to say...I felt that yesterday. When you are in the trenches for a long time, it’s really easy to convince yourself you’re doing ok. It’s not so bad. I can do this. Then, when the weight is lifted, you realize just how awful it was down there. It’s the same as when you’ve been very sick with a bad flu. When you feel better is when you realize just how sick you really were.
\n\n\nIt seems something as ubiquitous as the “Bernie Memes” swept the internet, our country came out of the water at the deep end and gasped a lung full of fresh air. You could almost feel a collective sigh as people everywhere belly laughed for maybe the first time in a long, long time. It felt good. No...it felt GREAT! It felt liberating....like coming out of a dark winter into the warm sunshine of spring.
\n\n\nIt’s been a rough stretch for an awful lot of people in this country and Bernie sitting in a chair EVERYWHERE was just what the doctor ordered. I felt the weight of the world lift off my shoulders as I saw thread after thread on the internet...each meme funnier that the last. It felt...normal. Like, normal life. The Covid numbers are still awful, but they just might be slowing down ever so slightly. The vaccines are slowly trickling out, but help is on the way to coordinate the effort. And each day has incrementally more light in it that the day before as we slowly inch our way toward spring.
\n\n\nThe sun was shining yesterday here at the Ponderosa. I sat in my big red recliner and worked all day on my website and I’m making great progress. I am up to the first week of September 2016. Once I finish copying November 14, 2016...everything will be on my website. What an accomplishment that will be. To be able to scroll down and see eight years of work at my fingertips. It makes me giddy to think such a huge undertaking is nearly complete. Between that and the stress released by lots of belly laughs...I’m feeling like a new woman today! We aren’t totally out of the woods yet, but my strength has been renewed and I can face another day...with a whole boatload more hope!
\n\n\n?
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2021-01-24T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/01/24/day-doctor-doctori-can-walk.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","Fun","Gratitude","Wisdom","Change","Be Joyful!","Healing"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/01/17/day-what-will-this-day.html", "title": "Day 307: What Will This Day Bring?", "content_html": "\n“I pray that God, who gives hope, will bless you with complete happiness and peace because of your faith. And may the power of the Holy Spirit fill you with hope.”
\nRomans 15:13 CEV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/06d63f9141.jpg\")
Our days run together punctuated with high drama and mundane tedium. Since before Christmas, I have spent many hours every day...snuggled in my really awesome new recliner...moving those posts from Facebook to my website. Day after day...it’s pretty much the same. Which breakfast should we have today? Get the second cup of coffee. The hours are filled in between with writing. We don’t really eat lunch so the next big event is “What shall we have for supper?” Then it’s news and I’m off to write my post.
\n\n\nThe television drones in the background. I half watch old reruns of Andy Griffith and Frazier while I work. I can pretty much tolerate anything but westerns. We hit pause and discuss something that strikes me in a post written the year I moved into Grandma’s farmhouse....something funny, something sad. We enjoy the rhythm of marriage in our 60’s. It’s hard to be out and about like we were BC (Before Covid). So we’ve kind of adopted this sort of life-on-pause moment of comfort and acceptance...and immense gratitude that we don’t have to go through this alone. I know how much harder this would be if it would have happened when I was actively grieving.
\n\n\nWe are happy when a day goes by without a breaking news bulletin. We are happy when we laugh together over a funny sitcom. We are happy when we can sit in companionable silence and catch one of us smiling at the other. We forgive when close quarters cause frayed nerves and terse words to escape. We love even with the extra padding and lack of motivation. We share toast and tea and time.
\n\n\nWe’ve been having snow off and on. Big fat fluffy flakes coming down all willy-nilly. Mr. FixIt says “Blizzard!” I say “Squall!” We laugh. Inside jokes are a big source of entertainment. I love when a relationship gets to the point when you can say “Remember when...?” He went out to check something the other day and about busted himself slipping on the ice. I ask him to please wear his boots instead of tennies in the snow. He calls out “Be careful!” when I take out the trash. We’re “of a certain age” and we’ve got each other’s back.
\n\n\nThe days may seem to run over each other and blend together but I’m telling you this...if they don’t hold drama from hour to hour, not knowing what’s coming next, wondering what disaster has befallen us now....well, that is a good day as far as I am concerned. I can settle down in my big red recliner and pass the time in peace. Let us pray the days ahead are just this way.
\n\n\n?
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2021-01-17T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/01/17/day-what-will-this-day.html", "tags": ["Family","Hope","Peace","Wisdom","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2021/01/12/day-the-birds-of-the.html", "title": "Day 302: The Birds of the Air", "content_html": "\n“I have told you this, so that you might have peace in your hearts because of me. While you are in the world, you will have to suffer. But cheer up! I have defeated the world.”
\nJohn 16:33 CEV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/9622a30c63.jpg\")
It’s been a long time since we had a really deep down, heart-to-heart chat. It’s been a long time since I needed to process some really difficult things and deal with the resultant side effects. I’m NOT going to dive into politics here...and I don’t want to stir up a political maelstrom. If that starts up, I’ll just delete the unhelpful comments. This isn’t about politics. This is about pain.
\n\n\nI have PTSD. It’s one of those awful things you sometimes get when you face a particularly painful trauma, and I got it from watching Mr. Virgo have his heart attack and the ensuing resuscitation. It went on for what seemed like hours. I was left with flashbacks and debilitating anxiety. EMDR went a long way toward easing that pain. And, it’s been a long time since I’ve experienced the effects.
\n\n\nAfter the events of last week at our Nation’s Capitol, I was surprised I wasn’t feeling worse than I was. I seemed to be handling things pretty well and went on about my business. I now realize what I had done was to compartmentalize my feelings. I kinda packed them up in a neat and tidy box labeled “Bad Things” and pushed it aside. That doesn’t mean I didn’t FEEL things. I just dampened them down and moved them aside.
\n\n\nOver the weekend I started getting a splitting headache and my body hurt everywhere. I was afraid I was getting sick, but this felt more familiar. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. I had an experience a few years ago where I came into close contact with someone I believe to be dabbling in dark things. My relationship with God has been so strong since Mr. Virgo died, that I seem to have this radar that goes off when I’m around darkness. I not only feel that crawly sensation on my skin, but I literally get sick to my stomach. I believe that is a spiritual attack and I am very careful to stay away from such things.
\n\n\nA Facebook “friend” writes posts from time to time about church and on the surface, it’s very upbeat. On closer inspection, there seems to be something off. A little too “Stepford Wife” or something. Yesterday, there was a post with a rather surprising photo that maybe could have been read a couple of different ways. I went in to read the comments for an indication as to which direction this was leading. Someone posted a comment with a video. I had seen this video the day before with a comment saying someone from West Virginia had posted it.
\n\n\nI totally expected to open the video and hear something Biblical and I can guarantee you....it was NOT. It was vile and I won’t go into further detail and I certainly won’t share it here. I had that immediate creepy crawly dark sensation on my skin and ran to the bathroom to throw up. I was sick for over two hours. I climbed in bed and read my bible for a while. That always comforts me and reminds me, God always wins in the end.
\n\n\nI felt much better afterwards. The headache is all but gone, as is the creepy crawly feeling. The enemy vanquished back. The verse I read was Luke 12:22-26...where we are told God takes care of the birds and we are so much more important than any birds. When I sat down to write my post last night, the first thing I saw on Facebook was this picture of my cousin Mike, cradling a female cardinal in his hands. It had managed to get into their screened porch, so he gently picked it up to take it outside. We call him “The Bird Whisperer”. I loved this little God wink...a cardinal coming to remind me how important we are to God and we have no need to worry if we remain close to his side.
\n\n\nThese are dark and trying times. I’ve been carefully winnowing my friends list on Facebook again. Not to weed out those whose political beliefs don’t mesh with mine. I welcome respectful repartee. But I don’t respect violence in any “way, shape, form or fashion”, as Governor Justice says.
\n\n\nToday is a brand new day and no matter what comes my way, I know...I can do all things with Christ who strengthens me.
\n\n\n???
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2021-01-12T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2021/01/12/day-the-birds-of-the.html", "tags": ["Faith","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","God","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Insight"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/12/30/day-let-your-light-shine.html", "title": "Day 289: Let Your Light Shine Brighter", "content_html": "\n“Jesus said to his disciples: I tell you not to worry about your life! Don't worry about having something to eat or wear. Life is more than food or clothing. Look at the crows! They don't plant or harvest, and they don't have storehouses or barns. But God takes care of them. You are much more important than any birds. Can worry make you live longer? If you don't have power over small things, why worry about everything else?”
\nLuke 12:22-26 CEV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/da88bbd5cc.jpg\")
My grandma had all kinds of sayings that were descriptive and puzzling and funny and weird. Some were long handed down colloquialisms. Some were just those inside jokes that develop within the family and you’re surprised no one else has heard them...they’re just so accurate. One saying she used a lot...it was an Appalachian take on Karma. If you did something you might not ought to have done, or if you made a simple mistake that came back to bite you in the butt later, Grandma would exclaim... “Well, your chickens are just coming home to roost.” Meaning...you’re going to have to pay for that one.
\n\n\nCovid. You would be hard pressed at this point to find someone who doesn’t know someone in their circle who has had it. I hear more and more, every week. I can’t count anymore how many people I know who have had it or knows someone who has. I find it just as concerning today as I did when this first started spreading like wildfire in March. My only fear is that someone I know and love will get it and die. Thank God, the ones I know personally have been among the fortunates who just get sick. Science is still trying to figure out why some feel nothing much more than a bad cold while others seem a little sick one day and die the next.
\n\n\nIt’s a crazy disease. And seriously, one that should never, ever have gotten out of hand like this in the United States of America. I’m not going to go on a rant over this here, but I have choice words when I’m watching the news with Mr. FixIt...trust me.
\n\n\nThe other day, Daughter #2 called in a panic. They have a good friend who totaled his car a couple of weeks ago and they helped him out. His bubble is small, like theirs, although he does work in assisted living. His patient population had remained untouched by Covid until the week of his accident. And that is when my daughter went to pick him up from the emergency room after his car accident and let him stay with them for a couple of days to make sure he was ok.
\n\n\nWithin a few days, he tested positive for Covid. And, three days later, my daughter and her wife began having symptoms. They went right away and got tested, however, tests can often be negative when taken too early in the course of the illness. They haven’t had another test yet, but the circumstances wouldn’t be any different for them if they had. They are isolated and will schedule a repeat test sometime this week.
\n\n\nI am also thanking God they aren’t any sicker than they are. Right now, it’s mostly the fatigue that’s hitting them, and my daughter says it really doesn’t feel much worse than a really bad cold. Thankfully, she has Type O blood...they say those with that blood type seem to get a less severe case. Which is good because she also has bad asthma.
\n\n\nThey were just trying to do something kind to help their friend out when he crashed his car. They thought they were safe with all the precautions and their small social bubbles. But, it just goes to show you, this disease is nothing to trifle with. We cannot afford to let our collective guard down...which leads me to my main gripe.
\n\n\nSitting in my living room, not seeing my family since March...not seeing my Colorado family since August 2019...not eating in a restaurant since February, not camping, not socializing outside of direct family who also socially isolate and then only visiting outside and distanced. Making all these sacrifices and then watching all those people going through the airports and mingling at the malls, knowing...KNOWING full well what’s going to come in two weeks...it makes me so mad I could spit nails! I worked in medicine for forty-two years. I was married to an internist for twenty-one of those. I know how hard those on the front lines work when there ISN’T a pandemic raging.
\n\n\nAll it would have taken was a warning in January...something deadly is coming. Prepare yourselves. These are the steps you’re going to need to take. Do these things so we can hunker down and get through it and get back to normal as soon as possible. New Zealand did it. Other countries did it.
\n\n\nThis isn’t our Grandfather’s country anymore. What happened to the spirit of a people who rallied around the war effort and sacrificed for others? Those who say “You can’t stop living your life!” Tell that to the 330,000+ families who have lost their beloveds. It just boggles my mind that there are STILL people out there who think this is all a hoax or it’s overblown or it’s just a political ploy to try to control the masses. How many body bags does it take to convince them this is real and the medical community is about to crack?
\n\n\nOk...ok...I got on my soapbox after all. I can’t help it. It’s come after MY baby now! And this mama is pissed!!!
\n\n\nIT’S NOT FOREVER...IT’S JUST FOR NOW!!!
\n\n\nSTAY HOME
\n\n\nWATCH YOUR DISTANCE
\n\n\nWEAR A MASK
\n\n\nWASH YOUR HANDS
\n\n\nAnd, please pray my baby and her wife get better quickly with no complications or lasting side effects.
\n\n\nPLEASE
\n\n\nWhen times are dark....let your light shine brighter!
\n\n\nPhoto Credit: Steve Derrick - https://www.timesunion.com/entertainment/article/Local-artist-unmasks-soul-of-front-line-workers-15513007.php
\n\n\n?
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-12-30T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/12/30/day-let-your-light-shine.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Love","Wisdom","Courage","Warning","Choices","Change","Kindness"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/12/18/day-be-careful-what-you.html", "title": "Day 279: Be Careful What You Wish For", "content_html": "\n“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”
\nPhilippians 2:3-4 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/af4fcc890b.jpg\")
I was browsing photos in a Facebook Group I belong to the other day. It was one of those “You Might Be From __________ If...” pages. People post stories and photos. There are a precious few of the “old guard” who grew up and know those pictured. But there are far more who come on and say... “Does anyone recognize the people in this photo?” Those are the sad ones because the elders are dying off without labeling the photos or teaching the young’uns who were in them.
\n\n\nMy grandma was pretty good about writing the names of folks on the back with the stub of a pencil, most likely whittled to a point with my PopPop’s pen knife. This particular photo caught my eye because I’ve seen it all my life. It’s the old one room schoolhouse that was a couple of miles from the farm. My mom and one of her brothers are in that photo and I smiled at the memories that came rushing back to me.
\n\n\nWe have that photo somewhere in the family archives, and now, thanks to modern technology, I have it safely ensconced in my iPad and the Cloud. I can still see Grandma in her rocking chair by the front window, looking through her “picture book” and walking down memory lane. She would point and name everyone, then tell a story or share their nickname. Everyone had a nickname. Just yesterday, my baby cousin asked me what Grandma’s name was for me. I was “Ginny Lynny” or just “Pet”. She was “Trinket”.
\n\n\nThis particular photo was taken shortly after the Great Depression. I want to say it was around 1936-37, judging by the size of my mom and her brother. When Grandma saw pictures like this, she shared with me the hard stories. Stories of struggles and just trying to get by. She would tear up when she said their milk cow was the only thing standing between her children living or dying of starvation. They never wasted a thing. Shoes were resoled at home because there wasn’t money for a cobbler. Clothes were sewn from flour sacks and mended and handed down. Grandma had a baby every two years till she nearly died after the last one and they saved her life with an emergency hysterectomy.
\n\n\nIt was right around this time when Grandma and PopPop managed to scrape enough money together to buy the farm that I still take care of. When they moved down off the hill into that house, Grandma said she felt like a queen in a castle! She didn’t have running water or an indoor bathroom for twenty more years. They had an old wringer washer with a hit and miss engine out on the back porch. My earliest memories are of Grandma carrying buckets of rainwater she heated on the stove and pouring it in the washer.
\n\n\nShe used lye she made from ashes and mixed it with rendered fat from butchering to make soap that was used for everything. Wash was done once a week. You started with the delicates when the water was still clean and soft and you ended with work clothes. PopPop worked in the pipe yard on old oil and gas well pipe and parts. He was always sticky and stinky with black creosote and a hard day’s sweat when he got home. Those work clothes had to be boiled and scrubbed on a washboard by hand to get the most of the grease out of them. I remember they were always an army green or khaki color.
\n\n\nOnce the clothes were as clean as they were going to get, Grandma used the rinse water to scrub the floors of the house and the last bit was thrown out on the porch and worked with a broom to get what mud they could off the steps. It was a hard life she lived, working from sunup to sundown doing as much hard work as any man, then mending clothes and sewing on buttons at night after supper.
\n\n\nI look at that picture of my mom as a little girl, and I’m humbled. The “going back in time” I get to do at the farm at my age is a walk in the park compared to actually living the life they lived. You hear people say “It was a simpler time.” Simpler? Be careful what you wish for. Simpler in those day meant they didn’t have the time sucks we have now. They didn’t have TV and computers. They were lucky to see a newspaper or a magazine. They didn’t know what was happening in Asia or the Middle East or Africa unless a missionary happened to be traveling through trying to raise a little money for an orphanage somewhere. However, their lives consisted of hard work and more than their fair share of sadness. And fortunately, I come from the kind of people whose glasses were always full to overflowing and I heard of all the goodness of life.
\n\n\nWhat are we giving our children’s children’s children to know about those who came before us? What are we handing down from our great grandparents’ days? What are we teaching them about long lost skills like growing our own food and preserving it or making our own clothes and tools? Part of the purpose of this blog is sharing the past along with the stories of the present. You’ve followed along in my grief journey after losing Mr. Virgo. You’ve been here for the adventures in the camper and traveling the country as a widow trying to heal my broken heart, one campfire at a time. You shared in my joy when I found love again with my best friend from high school and remarried. Interspersed with all these events are the stories of my roots. I share them with you here because many of you grew up with similar lives and they spark your own memories. Some of you couldn’t dream of living such a life and it’s like reading a history book. So, why do I share so much of myself and my family’s history?
\n\n\nBecause...one day, I’ll be dead and gone, and my grandchildren and their grandchildren’s children will read these stories and know from whence they came. I don’t have great material wealth to leave to my family...to the world. All I have are my experiences and my knowledge and my wisdom...the lessons I’ve learned along the way.
\n\n\nI’m the storyteller.
\n\n\n?
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-12-18T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/12/18/day-be-careful-what-you.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Strong Women","West Virginia","The Farm","Comfort","Wisdom","Aging","Farm Life","Memories"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/12/03/day-buying-in-bulk.html", "title": "Day 264: Buying in Bulk", "content_html": "\n“Love should always make us tell the truth. Then we will grow in every way and be more like Christ, the head of the body. Christ holds it together and makes all of its parts work perfectly, as it grows and becomes strong because of love.”
\nEphesians 4:15-16 CEV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/bf6ae65a38.jpg\")
We’re being exceedingly careful when we venture out shopping. We try to time our trips to the store when we are least likely encounter large crowds. Just about every state in the country is experiencing a large surge in Covid cases and we are bound and determined to not become statistics. It’s not easy to dodge crowds at this time of year, so we’ve taken to buying in bulk at Sam’s and limit exposure by limiting the trips themselves.
\n\n\nWe hit the jackpot this week. Sam’s had 90/10 ground beef for $2.68 a pound. I only bought one five pound package. I should have bought two at that price. We also bought a family pack of really nice pork chops. When we got home, I divided the meat up in meal sized packages and froze all but what I needed for spaghetti sauce last night. All told, we got four meals out of last night’s sauce. And put twelve packets of meat in the freezer. Each freezer pack came out to $2.65. Not bad for a few minute’s work.
\n\n\nThere didn’t seem to be a shortage of anything when we were shopping. There was plenty of toilet paper and paper towels. I was pretty amazed that all the Christmas decorations were gone, save for three styles of trees. Granted, it was Tuesday so we didn’t see any of the shopping frenzy we might have seen over the weekend, but it seemed like there was plenty of everything. Hopefully we’ll avoid the kind of hoarding we saw in the spring at the beginning of the pandemic.
\n\n\nSo, the vaccines are coming. Now the big hurdle will be whether people feel safe taking them. Personally, if Dr. Fauci will take it, so will we. I grew up in the polio years...I understand the importance of vaccines. I worked my whole life in the medical field, my last job in Clinical Pharmaceutical Research. By the time they get to the point of vaccinating our age group, there will have been several months of injections given and we’ll have an even better idea of how they work. I know you have to do what you feel is best, but the more people who receive the vaccine, the greater the “herd immunity” and the quicker we can get life back to some semblance of normalcy. I don’t know about you...but I’m more than ready! I want to see my Colorado peeps!
\n\n\nThe tree is still not up...but I’m making great strides in getting ready for it. The packages have been shipped (and received). Still a little shopping but it’s online and they are delivering it to the recipients. Then I can sit down and write the greeting cards and do a little knitting. It’s just been crazy busy around here...but in a good way!
\n\n\n?
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-12-03T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/12/03/day-buying-in-bulk.html", "tags": ["Wisdom","Farm Life","In the Kitchen"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/12/02/day-wishes-to-prayers-coincidences.html", "title": "Day 263: Wishes to Prayers, Coincidences to Blessings", "content_html": "\n“Be sensible and store up precious treasures— don't waste them like a fool.”
\nProverbs 21:20 CEV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/2409c7f219.jpg\")
In the spring, I noticed my knuckles were swelling and painful. Arthritis? Could be. It’s also one of the myriad symptoms of hyperparathyroidism...of which I was unaware at the time. All I knew was, I was baking a lot and gardening a lot and my rings were becoming harder and harder to slip off and on. One day in particular really scared me. It took lots of uncomfortable coaxing to get my rings off. I certainly didn’t want to run the risk of having to get them cut off. I’ve seen that done and it isn’t pleasant for the recipient. Once I managed to get the rings off that time, they went to the safety deposit box.
\n\n\nAll summer, my finger was naked and I hated that I couldn’t wear my wedding rings. However, I equally hated the idea of asking Mr. FixIt to buy me another wedding band...even a simple gold band. As the year wore on, I thought I might broach the subject as a possible gift idea for Christmas, then the microwave bit the dust and there may be a trip to Florida coming up if this parathyroid surgery thing happens. Besides, we just bought these new recliners. I don’t need tchatchkes and I really have everything I could possibly want. I decided not to ask. But ohhhhh, how I wanted a ring on my finger. I did what I always do...I just handed it over to God and put it out of my mind.
\n\n\nThe other evening, Mr. FixIt was rummaging around in the basement for quite some time. When he came back up, he had a small case and set it on the floor in front of his recliner. I turned on the overhead light and sat on the floor to see what was in the box. It turned out to be some of his uncle’s “treasures”. Things like war memorabilia and old pocket watches that didn’t work. I am a sucker for things like this so I was having a big time.
\n\n\n“Maybe my new wedding ring is in this box.”
\n\n\nI looked up into my husband’s puzzled face. He knows my rings don’t fit but we’ve never spoken about it.
\n\n\nI smiled. “I asked God to bring me a new one that fits.”
\n\n\nHe looked down into the box and picked something up. “How about this one?”
\n\n\nIt was old and worn and looked like a piece of an old brass tube. I buffed it hard on the carpet and the tarnished surface remained unchanged. I slipped it on my finger and...I know this sounds SO weird, but...it felt like it belonged to me. Like I’d worn it forever. It was absolutely the perfect size. As a matter of fact, I can’t even tell I’m wearing it. I instantly loved it. It felt like I’d found something just yearning to be back on someone’s finger to be loved again. I didn’t even care that it was rough and tarnished.
\n\n\nMr. FixIt smiled at my pleasure over such a simple thing. He pondered who the ring might have belonged to and when it was worn last. We went through the rest of the treasures and put the box away. I kept looking at my new wedding band and was happy as a little clam.
\n\n\nWe had to run to town yesterday. We never found the missing link of Mr. FixIt’s bracelet so we decided to stop at the jeweler to see if it could be fixed. While we were waiting, I slipped off the new/old ring and asked my sweetheart to see if the jeweler could buff it up a little. I went around and browsed at the sparklies. Finally, he stepped back over and handed me a ring.
\n\n\n“I don’t know about that old one, but they found this one for you to try.”
\n\n\nI looked down at the shiny gold ring and back at him.
\n\n\n“This can’t possibly be the same ring!”
\n\n\n“It is...one and the same. The jeweler just buffed it up!”
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/623cbdbd7a.jpg\")
Oh, my gosh, you guys. You could have knocked me over with a feather! I slipped this beautiful 16K gold band on my finger and sent up a thank you to Jesus. This was way above and beyond what I ever thought I’d get for Christmas. I would have been happy with the tarnished one, but this? Wow.
\n\n\nMy wish became a prayer. What seemed like an uncanny coincidence turned into such a sweet blessing. Not only did I get a new wedding ring that fits perfectly, but my sweetheart got to share something that once belonged to a very special man in his life. When his uncle was a widower and old and alone, Mr. FixIt used to go to his house every single day after work and fix his dinner for him. He took him wherever he wanted to go. He helped him around the house on his days off. I am so honored to share this piece of his past. I’m so grateful to be a part of this story.
\n\n\n?
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-12-02T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/12/02/day-wishes-to-prayers-coincidences.html", "tags": ["Positive Energy","Gratitude","Love","Wisdom","Be Joyful!","Memories","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/11/18/day-biting-my-tongue.html", "title": "DAY 249: Biting My Tongue", "content_html": "\n“If you are a husband, you should be thoughtful of your wife. Treat her with honor, because she isn't as strong as you are, and she shares with you in the gift of life. Then nothing will stand in the way of your prayers.”
\n1 Peter 3:7 CEV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/29d53a1246.jpg\")
I don’t always practice what I preach. I called out someone on my page yesterday for saying something mean to one of my friends that holds a different political belief than me. Then, in the same post, I turn right around and said something snarky to someone about their comment on my own position. Why do I do that? Why do I engage? I don’t know...I just can’t seem to help it when I feel strongly about something. Mama always said my mouth would get me in trouble.
\n\n\nI apologized. Again. I’m sure I’ll do it. Again.
\n\n\n*sigh*
\n\n\nLet’s look at the bigger picture. It’s been a heck of a year. Well, in actuality, it’s been a heck of a decade, but...you know. How far back do you want to go? There’s a lot going on right now...it’s hard balancing all the mental stress and strain. What are we facing next? Every. Single. Day. It’s something else...worse than the last.
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/574b4657f0.jpg\")
When the comments were flying, Mr. FixIt and I were in the middle of trying to fix the light over the kitchen sink. We were having an....ummmmm....disagreement about how to best do the job. In the end, we ended up deciding to put a new fixture in. And, wouldn’t you know...he had one out in the building...our own personal hardware store! It used to bug me that we have all this “junk”, but he has pulled my butt out of the fire on more than one occasion with his stash out there.
\n\n\nSo, the comment came in and I snapped back and that, by my own standards, was not productive. I’ll just try to do better. Always try to do better.
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/6562362c93.jpg\")
It’s hard to believe a week from today is Thanksgiving. I know we are not alone feeling the sting of being separated from family for the holidays. We have a huge family between the two of us and we are used to having a house full of loved ones. This year, we’ll have to settle for phone calls and Zoom. It breaks my heart but, I also know it is our duty to do whatever it takes to keep everyone safe, including ourselves. Maintaining our health is like money in the bank. Seriously...it’s our investment for our future. It sure doesn’t make it any easier when you watch commercials showing fun family gatherings with that big golden turkey in the middle of the table.
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/38f7344e74.jpg\")
As the sun set over the far hill from our house, and the clouds turned a deep salmon pink, I gave myself a break for being human. I didn’t hit it out of the park yesterday, but hopefully there are other days to keep trying.
\n\n\nAlways keep trying.
\n\n\n?
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-11-18T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/11/18/day-biting-my-tongue.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Wisdom","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/10/21/day-doo-doo-doolookin-out.html", "title": "Day 222: “Doo, Doo, Doo...Lookin’ Out my Back Door”", "content_html": "\n“Watching what you say can save you a lot of trouble.”
\nProverbs 21:23 CEV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/7c45276374.jpg\")
When we got back from the beach, we had thirty-three pounds of bagged and frozen fish filets in our huge cooler packed in ice. We have a refrigerator out in the pole building and I needed to move some stuff out of that freezer to make room for the fish. I had several bags of vegetable soup, a pound of hamburger, and a small chuck roast in there. I put them down in the refrigerator part and yesterday, I checked and they were just starting to thaw a bit.
\n\n\nI carried it all inside and dumped the soup in a large pot. I added a quart of the tomato sauce I canned earlier this summer. Then I chopped up the hamburger, cubed the chuck roast, and tossed them in a little flour, added salt and pepper and cooked them till they had just lost their pink color. I added the meat to the soup, adjusted the seasonings, and brought it to a boil. Then I canned eleven quarts of fabulous vegetable beef soup. Now I have all this great soup to add to the shelves for winter. Canning is a lot of work up front, but it sure saves time when you’re fixing a meal. And there’s nothing better than homemade vegetable beef soup!
\n\n\nAs I was waiting for the last canner load to process, I sat down in the family room and looked out the back door. I caught this sliver of moon hanging low over the near field beyond the pole building. You can see the honeysuckle vines on the fence to the left of the back gate. The fog rolled in as night fell. I love the little treasures I find every day here in the country. After a day of standing on your feet and working, having these moments to catch my breath and share this beauty with my love is a blessing I still have to pinch myself over.
\n\n\nA friend of mine texted the other day. She was the Human Resources Director that initially hired Mr. Virgo in Aspen. We’ve been friends ever since and she was the person who came to my home the week after Mr. Virgo died to help me begin to make some sense of the paperwork involved with dying. Anne was back at her Colorado house cleaning out more “stuff” when she came across a couple of pictures she had to share with me. They were taken at our wedding and one shows Mr. Virgo walking out and up the aisle to wait for me. I smiled when I saw him. I rarely see pictures of him that I haven’t seen before.
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/7964990445.jpg\")
I don’t cry anymore when I see pictures of him. He has been placed in a safe place in my heart and I rarely take him out. I’ve learned how to live in the present and enjoy what God has given me this go ‘round. But I did have a dream about Mr. Virgo the other night. And my mom. Mom had passed the year before I met Mr. Virgo so he only got the stories. In my dream, I realized I hadn’t seen Mr. Virgo in a while so I told my mom I was headed to Aspen to see if I could find him. I’ve had that dream a couple of times since he died. The first time, I found him in my dream. He was working in an office. He was wearing a handsome hand-tailored suit and was shuffling papers at a large desk. We sat down and talked, although I can no longer remember what was said. This time, I couldn’t find him. It didn’t leave me bereft like the first time. It was more like, “Ahhhh, yes...I remember that love. He doesn’t live here anymore.” It’s ok now. It’s ok to move forward. It’s ok to have a happy life and to laugh and love again. And, it’s ok to keep those memories tucked in a safe place in your heart. Because they will never go away entirely. I am blessed to have a strong, secure man who gave me room to hold those memories.
\n\n\nSo, today I get my annual mammogram. Keep checking the tatas, ladies...it’s important. Then, I am going to go to the courthouse and exercise my right to vote. Who knows what I’ll get into after that? Mowing, probably. We are thinking this is probably the last time of the season since we have had two hard freezes here. We’ll have a little warm up in the coming days before the regular frosts of fall arrive. And you know what that means in West Virginia, right? The arrival of the Asian Ladybugs and those gosh awful stink bugs! Ugh...it’s just an infestation and I dread them every fall. Here’s hoping the blue Dawn and water solution I sprayed around the windows and doors helps to ward them off.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-10-21T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/10/21/day-doo-doo-doolookin-out.html", "tags": ["West Virginia","Wisdom","Farm Life","Widow","Cooking","In the Kitchen"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/10/09/day-my-word-of-the.html", "title": "Day 210: My Word of the Day...Obstreperous!", "content_html": "\n“They swarmed around me like bees, but they were consumed as quickly as burning thorns; in the name of the Lord I cut them down.”
\nPsalms 118:12 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/29750cfefd.jpg\")
On our way out to the farm yesterday to mow, we stopped by Charlotte’s barn with a big bag of apple peelings for the chickens. Oh...they LOVED me! I can’t remember when we went last, but the grass was SO long. And, it’s changed again. It’s gone from this rough fall grass to very fine grass that grows really fast and stays damp. Oh...it was a booger to mow! I had to go over it and over it and over it dozens of times to mulch it all up because we don’t bag it. It took forever, but when it was finished, it was so lovely. The late afternoon sun was golden as it reflected off the leaves turning the red farmhouse a deep garnet glow.
\n\n\nI did a load of laundry while we were there because the water and gas are free and it lets me stay at the farm longer. I started the load then went out to mow. When I came in and checked on the washer, it was humming but not moving. I fiddled with it for a bit then realized I had not turned the pump on! I ran out to the cellar house and plugged in the pump and we were back in business in no time.
\n\n\nThe neighbor across the road called me a couple of days ago to say there was a box on the front porch and he moved it to the back to get it out of sight. It turned out to be a box from Misfits Market that was delivered to the wrong address. I took it to it’s rightful owner and hope it isn’t completely spoiled. Have any of you used Misfits? From the advertisements, it looks pretty neat. You receive a box of vegetables that may not look as pretty as the ones in the store, but they’re still perfectly useful. I’ve been thinking about checking into it. Maybe when we get back from the beach. My daughter gets a box of vegetables every week from a warehouse in Denver and loves it, but we don’t have anything like that here.
\n\n\nWe stopped on the way home and picked up some supper and sat at the park having our weekly date night. It was a little chilly to sit on the bumper, but the leaves were still beautiful and the river was as smooth as green glass. Believe it or not, I’m not always the nicest person to be around when I’m getting read for a trip. I have my head in the clouds, thinking of a million things that need to be done. When Mr. FixIt talks to me, I don’t hear it half the time in the days leading up to vacation. This week has been a challenge with the added chores surrounding canning. When we finally sat down last night, I looked over at him and said, “It’s a darned good thing you love me because I can be a real snot.” He objected vociferously. “You are not a snot!” I looked at him and grinned. “Ok...I’m obstreperous!”
\n\n\nI sat there mulling that over.
\n\n\nobstreperous: adjective
\n\n\nYep...that’s me. There’s not much of anything delicate and ladylike about me, although I can clean up and be presentable in public. I wasn’t always this “free to be me”. Mr. FixIt has brought that out in me in a big way and sometimes I still feel like I need to rein it in so as not to be “too much”. For FAR too many years, I was “too much”...too loud, too boisterous, too...too...too. I stifled myself to fit a mold till I got lost down inside. Not anymore. Maybe it’s age. Maybe it’s the times. Maybe it’s Mr. FixIt embracing my every quirk. I don’t know. All I know is...now I’m obstreperous...in the very best of ways!
\n\n\nT-minus one day and counting. SO much to do today, I hardly know where to start...but I made a list. I can’t live without lists anymore. I’m just at that age. I tell Mr. FixIt, we have one brain between us and it’s a good thing we have each other...obstreperous or not!
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-10-09T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/10/09/day-my-word-of-the.html", "tags": ["West Virginia","The Farm","Wisdom","Farm Life"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/10/04/day-a-space-of-my.html", "title": "Day 205: A Space of My Own", "content_html": "\n“Always be joyful and never stop praying.”
\n1 Thessalonians 5:16-17 CEV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/427e3b12e4.jpg\")
I think every woman should carve out a little space that is just hers. Guys get the “man cave” or their “workshop”. Women get the kitchen. That’s all well and good. I mean, I love being in the kitchen and creating wonderful foods for the people I love. But it’s not like that...or the products that come from it...are for me alone.
\n\n\nI have my camper. For now, anyway. But what happens when I sell her? I may not have another one right away, and since I don’t have a “she shed”, I’ve decided to create a space of my own here at the house. We have a bedroom that has nothing but boxes of things labeled “Garage Sale”. These are boxes that the former Mrs. FixIt left thinking when the time came and we decided to actually HAVE a garage sale, we could stick this stuff in it. She is very helpful that way...very organized...and I appreciate it immensely. I think, if Covid hadn’t struck, we might actually have had a garage sale this year, but alas...it was not to be.
\n\n\nRather than wait another whole year, I’m taking matters into my own hands. I’m going to clear that room out and create a space just for me. Mostly because, when I settle in to write this blog every night, I write while I’m propped up with a bunch of pillows in our bed. I don’t think it’s doing my back any good and I’m tired of feeling like I’m in bed all the time. I’ve tried writing in the living room while Mr. FixIt watches TV but I find it distracting at best and mostly agitating, even with headphones on.
\n\n\nI have a picture in my head of what my room will look like. I have a Tiffany style floor lamp out at the farm. I brought it from my home in Colorado and I’d love to have it beside a comfortable chair. I would like a small side table...a place to set my cup of tea, a basket by the chair for my knitting, and a small footstool to prop my feet upon. I would like lacy white curtains to let in the light. I have an electric space heater out at the farm that looks like an antique wood stove. I would like to create a faux fireplace with it. I’ll hang the wooden clock that I bought Mr. Virgo for his last Christmas. I’ll have a small Bluetooth speaker to listen to soft music...or the sounds of a crackling fire. The room will be cozy and comfortable and quiet and peaceful. A nice place to write and retreat without having to climb in bed. And the best part? NO TV!
\n\n\nWe went to our great granddaughter’s 3rd Birthday Party yesterday. We stopped at the 4H Ox Roast on our way home to pick up a couple of meals so we wouldn’t have to cook. Oh, my goodness...that was wonderful food. And so much of it, too. After supper, I opened Facebook and...there was my chair! It was absolutely the exact chair I’ve been wanting at a price that can’t be beat. We’ll run into town today to pick it up and that will motivate me to get the back room cleared out. I’m nesting and getting my winter she shed ready.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-10-04T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/10/04/day-a-space-of-my.html", "tags": ["West Virginia","Gratitude","Comfort","Peace","Wisdom","Peaceful Moments","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/09/15/day-hummingbirds-hollyhocks.html", "title": "Day 181: Hummingbirds \u0026 Hollyhocks", "content_html": "\n““As long as the earth endures, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night will never cease.””
\nGenesis 8:22 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/d12d408fa3.jpg\")
I met my classmate’s sister in the McDonald’s parking lot yesterday and traded my wide mouth canning lids for the coveted regular size. Three for three...even Steven. At the same time, two of our grandkids met us with their sweet little boy....our first great grandson. It was all I could do not to pull him out of his car seat and kiss him all over. I haven’t held my babies since February! But, ohhhhh...it was so good to see them.
\n\n\nHonestly, that was all we planned to do, but one thing led to another and we didn’t get home till after 6:00 last night. That is the nature of a trip to town when you live out in the country. You try to squeeze all the errands you possibly might need to do into that one trip and hopefully you don’t have to make another one for a while.
\n\n\nWe did the usual...bank, post office, Sams, grocery store, and checking on a friend’s house while he’s away. On a whim, we decided to stop in Kohl’s. There are a couple of things I’ve been looking for and I hoped to find them there but alas...no luck. On our way home, we stopped for a sandwich. The last think I want to do after a day of running around is to cook.
\n\n\nOne of you wrote yesterday asking where I got our yard flag. Honestly, I can’t remember, other than it was locally. I looked online and found a website that sells the same flag. You can look in the comments on yesterday’s post and find the link if you’re interested. I loved this flag as soon as I saw it. I’m crazy about hummingbirds and even though we had our feeder out at the appropriate time with the correct feed and changed it regularly, we just didn’t have as many hummers this summer.
\n\n\nI love the deep red hollyhocks. The only time I’ve ever had hollyhocks was when Hubby #2 was doing his residency. We lived in an old farmhouse surrounded by more modern mid century houses. After researching, I found out that this area had been a dairy farm at one time. The house we lived in was the main residence for the farm. There were old flowerbeds around the house and I did my best to be an urban farm girl and bring them back to life. I planted garnet colored hollyhocks along the sand-colored brick on the front porch. On hot summer evenings, as the sun began to dip low and turn the air to spun gold, the hummingbirds would bob and weave and dive their way around the yard, fighting for a sip of the sweet nectar. Daughter #1 and I would sit in the front porch swing...the sound of the chain squeaking as we swayed back and forth and the darkness closed in around us.
\n\n\nThere was a lot of traffic on Holly Street and I would do my best to tune it out and focus on what little night sounds I could hear in the busy neighborhoods of east Denver. Crickets. The whine of mosquitoes around our ears. The distant bark of a dog. I would rock and close my eyes and pretend I was back home on the farm in West Virginia. I swear...I missed home more than anything in this world and would count the days till I could hop on a plane and come see my family.
\n\n\nNow, as I write this, I’m laying in a camper...the windows thrown open. The night air is cool and tonight we’ll need an extra blanket as it’s supposed to get down to 51 degrees. There are the crickets. And the katydids. The whine of a mosquito and the sound of the neighbor’s dog announcing a possible four-legged interloper. This time, it’s the occasional car that passes up the road out front that breaks the stillness instead of the other way around.
\n\n\nI still marvel at this scenario. There was a time that I didn’t dare dream I could live here again...let alone live on five acres where I can grow anything I want. Or care for Grandma’s house and stay there whenever I want. Or find my BFF from high school and marry him. I am living my dream. There is only one thing that would make this life better...having my Colorado family closer. That would be absolute perfection!
\n\n\nBut...this is pretty darned close!
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-09-15T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/09/15/day-hummingbirds-hollyhocks.html", "tags": ["Family","West Virginia","Comfort","Wisdom","Choices","Be Joyful!","Farm Life"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/09/10/day-beans-tomatoes-picklesyummm.html", "title": "Day 176: Beans \u0026 Tomatoes \u0026 Pickles...YUMMM!!!", "content_html": "\n“You have shown me the path to life, and you make me glad by being near to me. Sitting at your right side, I will always be joyful.”
\nPsalms 16:11 CEV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/5a90df5956.jpg\")
Ok, yesterday was a marathon day in the kitchen here at the Ponderosa. I started out by packaging up the dehydrated mushrooms then rummaging through the garden to get a few more Roma tomatoes. I set what was ready in the dehydrator and turned my attention to the green beans.
\n\n\nI had enough of the beans cleaned yesterday to set a canner on to process. Then, Mr. FixIt and I enjoyed rocking in the recliners, watching old Frazier reruns while I finished stringing and snapping the last of the beans between canner loads.
\n\n\nI learned something yesterday. I should have weighed the beans, because apparently I had a LOT more than I thought. According to the weights and measures scale for produce, a bushel of snap beans should weigh between twenty-eight and thirty-two pounds. This should result in a quart of processed beans for every one-and-a-half to two pounds of raw produce. Initially, I figured I would get two canners full with enough leftover beans to cook up a mess for supper. (\"Mess is Appalachian for a batch...a dinner's worth with leftovers.)
\n\n\nI ended up with four canners full! That's twenty-eight quarts. I did my math and I payed just over a dollar a quart for these babies. AND I got the fun and satisfaction of putting them up for winter. I know, I know...this is nothing compared to what my cousins can every year. They put up hundreds of jars of food. I'm a little limited by supplies this year as I was sort of starting from scratch in the canning department. I'll get more jars and lids next spring.
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/a3278baa28.jpg\")
When the last canner was filled and on the stove, I got out my fermenting equipment and got two quarts of dill pickles started. They will sit for one to three weeks in the brine till they get to my desired taste. I made one quart with hot red pepper flakes for a little extra pizazz. I would normally use dried whole red peppers from the spice aisle but Walmart didn't have them.
\n\n\nAnd that was the end of my day. I was tired...but it was a good kind of tired. My hands smell like garlic and they're soft from working with wet beans for two days. My hips are sore from sitting so much. But, ohhhhh.....those beautiful jars of bottled summer take my breath away when I look at them!
\n\n\nIt was not till I was typing this last night to post this morning that I noticed the date. Today would have been Mr. Virgo's 70th birthday! It feels so unreal. He will always and forever be 62...a number I passed five years ago. I can't even imagine him at 70. He would have reluctantly retired. He had no hobbies other than golf and me. I never, EVER would have considered taking off in the camper by myself and having adventures without him. He told me when we were first dating that if I was the kind of woman who was going to leave him alone for long stretches of time, he wasn't interested. I had been in a two decade marriage with a workaholic who had dinner between 8:00-10:00 every night. I was ready for that one-on-one attention.
\n\n\nDon't get me wrong...I absolutely adore Mr. FixIt and I treasure every moment we have together. AND, I learned I need some space to recharge from time to time...for my own mental health as well as the comfort of my spouse. Different people. Different marriages. Different expectations. Still...I think of that silver-haired man and smile now.
\n\n\nSeventy.
\n\n\nWow.
\n\n\nHappy Heavenly Birthday, Mr. Virgo!
\n\n\n❤
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-09-10T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/09/10/day-beans-tomatoes-picklesyummm.html", "tags": ["Positive Energy","West Virginia","Gratitude","Wisdom","Aging","Peaceful Moments","Be Joyful!","Farm Life","Widow","Memories","Marriage","Cooking","In the Kitchen"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/09/01/day-the-longest-summer-of.html", "title": "Day 167: The Longest Summer of my Life", "content_html": "\nWhatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men,
\nColossians 3:23 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/9b5d5efe1e.jpg\")
Remember back when we were kids? School let out in May and it seemed like for-EV-er before it was September and time to go back. Then we grew up and became adults and got jobs and got married (or not) and had kids (or not). Then, summers dragged for an entirely different reason. By late August, we were like... “When does school start??? I’m done already!”
\n\n\nThen...life’s “Third Shift” kicked in. The kids are the ones married (or not) and with kids (or not) and we are left to our own devices. My mom’s generation played Bridge or MahJong if they were fortunate enough to not have to work outside of the home. Our generation plays pickle ball or what have you.
\n\n\nWhatever the case...it’s September. Seriously...March felt like at least a decade ago. I don’t even remember March. Did 2020 even HAVE a March? Or May? How about June and July? I mean...I could accept that it’s July...but September??? Crikey!
\n\n\nI think the total disruption of our routines and all the ensuing chaos has shifted our consciousness somehow and actually created a time warp. I mean...I could just as easily be 1963, if you ask me.
\n\n\nBut, I digress. A Facebook friend asked yesterday if we could say something positive about 2020 so far. I had to think about it...but I came up with several things.
\n\n\nYou may say 2020 sucks big ones, and I suppose it has in many ways. But, 2020 has been a gift in just as many ways. Above all, it has forced me into a closer relationship with Jesus. I’ve gotten to know Him a lot better and recognize His voice in the cacophony of this world. It’s brought me a lot closer to Mr. FixIt, as well. We’ve had to learn a new dance around strokes and staying at home and not doing whatever we want, whenever we want. And, believe it or not, it has brought me closer to our kids because we have more real conversations.
\n\n\n2020 may have brought me to my knees...but that’s not a bad position to be in for prayer.
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/52466eebd0.jpg\")
I literally did nothing but bake a pan of lasagna and take a nap yesterday. It felt SO self-indulgent...and wonderful!!! Then, around the time the news went off, Daughter #1 called me for a video chat. Ohhhhh, my heart sings when I get to see my Colorado peeps. When we prepared to hang up, I smiled and thanked her so much for letting me see her sweet face.
\n\n\n“I cannot hug you in person,” I said. “But, I can hug you with my heart!”
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-09-01T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/09/01/day-the-longest-summer-of.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Overcoming Obstacles","Gratitude","Wisdom","Courage","Aging","Choices","Be Joyful!","Insight"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/08/25/day-snaking-a-drain-and.html", "title": "Day 160: Snaking a Drain and Praising Jesus", "content_html": "\n“...The Lord watch between me and thee, when we are absent one from another.”
\nGenesis 31:49 KJV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/d3e590e350.jpg\")
Have you ever run a drain snake? I’m not talking about those little hand crank jobs that you get the hair clog out from under your sink. No...I’m talking about that big ol’ mama honkin’ electric job like a plumber uses. We have a drain at the bottom of the back staircase down into the basement that gets clogged with roots and the like and really should be snaked out once a year. Well...it hasn’t been done for three years and this spring we had a mess on our hands.
\n\n\nWhen the drain gets clogged, the water backs up and comes in our basement. When this happens, we have to take the carpet cleaner and suck up the water. It’s a mess and king sized pain in the patoot. We decided to buy one of these snakes instead of rent them over and over and yesterday was our lucky day. We’ve had dry weather so before it got too hot, we got to work.
\n\n\nI’ve never run one of these things, so I watched Mr. FixIt closely. There is a cable with blades on the end. There is a power switch that starts the cable to turning. Then you feed the cable down into the drain. In our case, it has to go about fifteen feet then makes a hard turn so you have to navigate the blades through there. Then, the cable is fifty feet long. The object is to get all that cable down in there to chew up any roots and clear out the drain.
\n\n\nWe had to run it down and pull it back several times to remove roots from the blades. It’s really hard on your back, so I finally took over and did the feeding. The last two times we put it down, it hit snags and I could not seem to get it to go past that point. By then the sun was overhead and it was getting really hot so we gave up on it for the day.
\n\n\nI love to learn how to do new things. I love learning how to be self sufficient...not that I’m thinking I’ll have to be any time soon, but experience has taught me it is best to know how to do what needs to be done. We’ll get back to it today. I picked another pan of tomatoes last evening so I have enough to can some. I ordered more pork picnic roasts to smoke and can. And, it’s just about time to bake bread again. We found more canning jars in the basement so I’m not as short as I thought I was. And, there’s a dehydrator so I think I’m going to try drying some of the Roma tomatoes and pack them in olive oil to preserve them.
\n\n\nThis is a beautiful time to be alive...if you LOOK for the beauty. It’s still out there!
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-08-25T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/08/25/day-snaking-a-drain-and.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Wisdom","Farm Life","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/08/23/day-burning-down-my-memories.html", "title": "Day 158: Burning Down My Memories", "content_html": "\n“God makes everything happen at the right time. Yet none of us can ever fully understand all he has done, and he puts questions in our minds about the past and the future. I know the best thing we can do is to always enjoy life, because God's gift to us is the happiness we get from our food and drink and from the work we do.”
\nEcclesiastes 3:11-13 CEV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/04cfad250c.jpg\")
I was a new widow when I bought my first camper. A little 16’ job with everything I needed. I miss that little camper...the original TOW-Wanda. I still regret trading her in for the big behemoth I own now, but...water under the bridge, you know.
\n\n\nI always wanted a camper although I had never pulled one. I camped in a tent a couple of times and once drove cross country in an old VW Poptop Van, but actually having my own camper eluded me.
\n\n\nI tried to get Hubby #2 to buy one and he refused. It never occurred to me to go out and buy one myself. I wasn’t brave enough to do such a thing back then. But Mr. Virgo understood my wanderlust and, while not an avid camper himself, was anxious to see that I got to do all the fun things I wanted.
\n\n\nWhen he died suddenly while we were looking at the camper for our retirement, I thought my dreams would end there. But, something stirred within me almost from the beginning of widowhood. I was determined to have that camper and found a way to make it work.
\n\n\nLittle TOW-Wanda came into my life just a few weeks after the funeral. I carefully stocked her and as soon as the spring snows melted, I was off on The Grand Adventure through the wilderness and backroads of Colorado by myself.
\n\n\nI am so glad there were no forest fires to speak of that summer, or I might have lost the heart for this fun way of life. I traveled a circle clear around the state at least twice in those three months. One particularly beautiful stretch was heading west on Colorado Route 14 through Poudre Canyon. I hadn’t been through there since the High Park Fire of 2012 the year before. It was devastating to see the blackened vegetation...the trees standing like gnarled fingers pointing to the sky.
\n\n\nI drove to the far west end where the fire had spared the canyon. I found an empty campsite right on the edge of the Cache la Poudre River and backed in. It was early in the camping season. The kids were still in school, and I had just about every campground I went to all to myself.
\n\n\nI had camped in Rocky Mountain National Park for a few days prior to my arrival in Poudre Canyon. I saw wildlife galore on that trip...elk, deer, turkey, mink, ermine, marmot, Bald Eagles, Great Horned Owls, moose, coyotes. Everything except a bear. The last morning at this campsite, I talked with Mr. Virgo...as I did most mornings. I thanked him for bringing all the beautiful animals to enjoy...I really appreciated them. But, could he please just bring me at least one bear???
\n\n\nI packed up and headed west on Colorado 14 and began the long, steady climb up to Cameron Pass. By the time I got to Joe Wright Reservoir, my engine was getting a little hot. I decided to pull in the parking area and gaze at the still frozen water. Signs of spring were coming to the high country as the fresh green leaves were popping out on the aspen trees and the undergrowth was beginning to show signs of life. Finally, when the engine and transmission were cooled, I took off to the tip top of the pass.
\n\n\nI had just crested the pass at 10, 249’ and began the slow descent down when I noticed the most odd thing. Someone had placed a huge statue of a bear, right along the highway where it makes a sharp bend to the right. I slowed down to look at it, then realized...to my sheer delight...it was a real, live bear! Standing on the edge of the road, the sheer drop off behind him. I stopped the truck and stared. Thank God there wasn’t someone coming along behind me! I tried to snap a photo of the bear, but the memory was full on my phone and by the time I reached for my digital camera, it had disappeared over the edge. I realized that memory was for me alone.
\n\n\nI don’t believe I have seen another bear in the wilds of Colorado since that one magical morning on Cameron Pass. And now...Cameron Pass is burning, as is much of Colorado and points west. Climate change has brought increasing drought and prevailing winds so the fires continue to become worse and worse.
\n\n\nI don’t know when, or if, I will ever have the opportunity to go on an adventure like that again. But I must say...the memories of those three months pulling my camper through the majestic Rocky Mountains have never faded and remind me of God’s reckless love for me...to grace me with these memories that still fill my heart.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-08-23T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/08/23/day-burning-down-my-memories.html", "tags": ["Travel","Uplifting Stories","Strong Women","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","The Grand Adventure","God","Wisdom","Peaceful Moments","Widow","Road Trip"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/08/22/day-a-funny-thing-happened.html", "title": "Day 157: A Funny Thing Happened on the Way...", "content_html": "\n“God is the one who rules the whole earth, and we that live here are merely insects. He spread out the heavens like a curtain or an open tent.”
\nIsaiah 40:22 CEV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/66f9562a05.jpg\")
God has a sense of humor. He knows when we’ve had it up to here. That’s when he sends you something so patently absurd, you can’t help but break out into a belly laugh. That’s one of the ways the Great Healer heals...He brings us laughter.
\n\n\nMr. FixIt and I had a laundry list of things that needed doing yesterday in town...one of which was to mail some overdue greeting cards. There were two condolence cards and a graduation card, so I sat down to write. I filled out the first card and wrote a lovely note. As I prepared to start the second condolence card, Mr. FixIt interrupted me as he was looking for the graduation announcement. We needed it for the address to send the graduation card.
\n\n\nI told him not to worry, I would just text his sister to get the address. It wasn’t long till she and I were chatting back and forth. She gave me the address and I wrote it on the envelope. As we chatted about the smoked pork I canned last week, I wrote the sentiment in the card and popped it in the envelope.
\n\n\nThen I reached for.... Suddenly, I was puzzled. The only card left was the graduation card. If that’s the case...what was I writing in? I opened the envelope and there was the sympathy card...addressed to the young graduate! I started laughing, because I could just imagine which one would be funnier.
\n\n\nThe new graduate with...
\n\n\nRemembering you \nin thought and prayer...\n\nLet there be hope.\nLet there be stories.\nLet there be celebration\nof a life well-lived.\nLet there be tears,\nbut let there be happy memories\nof all you shared.\n\n\n
or...
\n\n\nMy cousin, the new widow, with the handwritten sentiment....
\n\n\n“Congratulations on your\nGraduation & Best Wishes \nin your Future Endeavors!”\n\n\n
I told my cousin about it last night and we laughed till we cried. I wonder which one I should send it to?
\n\n\nWhen we were leaving Walmart later in the afternoon, I walked by a woman on her cell phone. Her husband had wandered off and she was on the phone, trying to explain he should turn around and he could see her. Finally, she got frustrated and without the phone, she yelled his name.
\n\n\n“Marco!!!”
\n\n\nTo which I turned around and shouted...
\n\n\n“Polo!!!”
\n\n\nWe stood looking at each other for half a beat and literally doubled over laughing. Oh, you can’t make this stuff up!
\n\n\nLater in the day, I was on the phone with my son-in-law’s mom. Her husband and our granddaughter, “Little”, went to the nursing home to see her great grandmother yesterday afternoon. When she got home she said,
\n\n\n“Mimi, Grandma has gotten sick and almost died so many times in the last few years. There have been times Mom picked us up and we just went straight to the nursing home to say goodbye. Then she rallies and gets better. You know, I think most people go up there and knock on the doors of Heaven and are let right in. But, not Grandma. I think she rings the doorbell and runs!”
\n\n\nWhat a delightfully happy diversion laughter can be when things are so hard and dark. Laughter IS the best medicine!!!
\n\n\nAnd, oh...by the way...my cousin won. I’m sending HER the card...as is!
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-08-22T01:20:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/08/22/day-a-funny-thing-happened.html", "tags": ["Health","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","Fun","Wisdom","Choices","Be Joyful!","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/08/18/day-ahhhhthats-more-like-it.html", "title": "Day 153: Ahhhh...That’s More Like It!", "content_html": "\n“Everything on earth has its own time and its own season......for crying and laughing, weeping and dancing,”
\nEcclesiastes 3:1, 4 CEV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/7424e8796a.jpg\")
I can almost feel the stress melting off my shoulders by the moment. After the last few hectic weeks, and then backing off from social media, I am much more centered and relaxed. The fact that the nights have been cooler and we’ve been “camping” out in our field at the Ponderosa. Sleeping in my camper always makes me a happy girl!
\n\n\nI worked on the website for a few hours yesterday while Mr. FixIt was at the dentist. When he got home, we hooked up the trailer and took the mowers out to the farm. We got about halfway there and the road was soaked. It was so cool to watch the steam rising up from the hot asphalt after the rain that had just passed through. It wasn’t too much further that the road was dry. We bet each other whether there was rain at the farm. I said there was...and I won. Not a bet I wanted to win, though. The grass was thick and wet and not easy to mow.
\n\n\nWhen we were at the farm last time, we noticed that the internet wasn’t working. I called to report it and left my phone number but never heard from anyone. I sat down to call and was on hold for quite some time when I looked out the window to see the neighbor’s garden. Lo and behold, there on the bird seed bin was a brand new modem the phone guy left for me. I hooked it up and we were back in business in five minutes flat!
\n\n\nOnce the lawn was mowed and I had a good thirty minute video chat with Daughter #1, we packed back up and headed home. I told Mr. FixIt that I felt we definitely deserved ice cream after all that so we stopped at the Piggly Wiggly to get some. We happily munched out on a Magnum Double Caramel bar on the way home!
\n\n\nAs soon as we had everything unhooked and put away, I made a beeline for the camper to write. It was a little stuffy after being closed up all day, but it was soon cool and comfortable from the strategically placed fans. We don’t have a single thing planned till the 29th! I’ve been letting the tomatoes ripen and I think today is the day to get them picked and canned. Seriously, it won’t amount to much once I cook them down. As soon as the garden is finished, it’s camping time for us!
\n\n\nI feel a hundred pounds happier!
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-08-18T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/08/18/day-ahhhhthats-more-like-it.html", "tags": ["Faith","Health","Overcoming Obstacles","The Farm","Gratitude","Comfort","Wisdom","Peaceful Moments","Choices","Change","Farm Life"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/08/11/day-another-bad-night-another.html", "title": "Day 146: Another Bad Night, Another Good Day", "content_html": "\n“Our Lord, we belong to you. We tell you what worries us, and you won't let us fall. But what about those people who are cruel and brutal? You will throw them down into the deepest pit long before their time. I trust you, Lord!”
\nPsalms 55:22-23 CEV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/6ea56db7c2.jpg\")
I used to have what I referred to as “bad nights” in the early years after losing Mr. Virgo. I will never forget the blessed feeling of relief when they finally let up. I will also never forget when they resurfaced years later and I couldn’t shake the thought that maybe this is just the way things are with the new new normal of grief.
\n\n\nThankfully, those bad nights are few and far between anymore. They are usually triggered by stress and...could there be anything more stressful than your new husband having two strokes not much more than a year after the wedding...compounded by everything else going on in this world today? We have had two deaths in the family in the last two weeks. One was my cousin’s husband. That stirs up those old memories.
\n\n\nI went to bed Sunday night like I always do. I slept so well on Friday and Saturday nights. I was hoping for a repeat. I wrote my post. I fed my sourdough starter. I took my meds and did my evening toilette. I climbed between clean sheets with the windows open and a cool evening breeze coming in. I put away my phone so I wouldn’t be tempted to lay there and surf or read or play games. In other words, I did everything right. Still...sleep did not come.
\n\n\nI laid there for hours...tossing and turning. I knew I was keeping Mr. FixIt awake, so I tried to just lay still so I wouldn’t bother him. Then I got a headache from laying in the same position. When Mr. FixIt doesn’t sleep soundly, he become a noisy sleeper. Every time he turns over, he either moans or shouts out...depending on the level of discomfort he has from arthritis. Suffice it to say...I watched the sun coming up.
\n\n\nI got up, drew my fuzzy robe around me, and walked outside to photograph the morning fog. I love fog...it’s so cool and mysterious and softens the world to a hazy glow. The fog also dampens the sounds of the world. The birds seem to whisper their tenuous calls so not to wake up Mother Nature before the coffee’s ready.
\n\n\nI wandered around for a while, went back inside and cleaned the kitchen, and finally...around 7:30...I thought I’d try again to sleep. That’s when the “bad” part of the “bad nights” hit. I laid there, realizing it had now been 24 hours I’d been awake. What if something happened and Mr. FixIt had a medical emergency and needed me? What if something happened to the kids? How would I be my best if I hadn’t had any sleep. You all know where that snowball went...right downhill.
\n\n\nI laid there, quietly willing myself to settle down, to not borrow trouble, to not wake up my husband. When he finally did wake up, I told him about my night and he urged me to not worry about a thing and get some sleep. I went into the guest room and slept till 3:30 in the afternoon!
\n\n\nWhen I awoke, we went to the farm to get the long ladder so I could seal the roof on TOW-Wanda. When we got home, we watched the news and then worked on the camper. I fixed a great meal, and the day was done. My biggest gift of the day came again from Miss Jackie. Her husband was a pastor and she is just a knowledgeable woman when it comes to the Bible. There, in her comment on yesterday’s post was her formula for maintaining mental health. A verse from Philippians. I’ll include it here.
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/92848514cb.jpg\")
These verses are an instruction manual for maintaining balance in these crazy times. Good friends can bring such good advice when they are plugged into the light. I cherish those friends who tell me like it is, who gently correct...and who sometimes kick me in the butt when I need it. Thank you all for always being here.
\n\n\nAs Ram Dass said...”We are all just walking each other home.”
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-08-11T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/08/11/day-another-bad-night-another.html", "tags": ["Faith","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Positive Energy","God","Wisdom","Fear","Peaceful Moments","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/08/07/day-having-trouble-feeling-good.html", "title": "Day 142: Having Trouble Feeling Good?", "content_html": "\n“You have a special place in my heart. So it is only natural for me to feel the way I do. All of you have helped in the work God has given me, as I defend the good news and tell about it here in jail.”
\nPhilippians 1:7 CEV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/898406ef66.jpg\")
It’s “Feel Good Friday” and I don’t know about you, but...it could get pretty frustrating looking around this dark world for something to feel good about. I gave this week’s edition of FGF a good, hard look yesterday. I usually search the internet for some story or video that tells of some heart warming thing someone has done. That’s all well and good, but it wasn’t working for me yesterday. So, I do what I always do when I need a little inspiration. I went for a walk with Jesus.
\n\n\nFirst, we went out into the garden and looked at the abundance of tomatoes that are coming on. There’s zucchini and yellow crookneck squash, green onions and peppers, pumpkins and Passion Flowers. The honeysuckle clings to the fence along the back of the yard and brambles of wild black raspberries tangle in the corner over the rhubarb. Sumac and wild grape vines threaten to shade the garden as they compete with pokeweed and Virginia Creeper. I felt the stress in my shoulders begin to ease.
\n\n\nI gave the plants a good drink and took off for a walk around the far field. I saw a hole out there when I was mowing this week and I wanted to check it out. As I ambled across the fresh mown grass, I asked Jesus to give me something to feel good about. I let my mind go blank as I strolled and took in the sights and smells of the pasture. I let myself feel the gratitude for the beauty of this place Mr. FixIt has so generously shared with me. I started humming softly to myself.
\n\n\n“I’ll Fly Away” started drifting around in my mind. Not just any version either. It was the Stanley Brothers bluegrass gospel version. It was on their album “Good Old Camp Meeting Songs” and was recorded in May 1962...the month before I turned nine years old. In an instant, I was back in the front yard of Grandma’s house out at the farm, a quart jar in my hands, catching lightning bugs. Grandma and PopPop were inside with the Grand Ole Opry on...cranked up high...and Ralph and Carter Stanley were singing “I’ll Fly Away”.
\n\n\nMy heart smiled.
\n\n\nA few years ago, I met a lovely young woman named Rachel. She plays the guitar and sings in her church and I had the pleasure of singing with her at a few gatherings when I was staying in my camper up at the river. We harmonized really well together and sang several of the old timey gospel hymns. It’s a precious memory I will always keep close.
\n\n\nI continued my walk and peeked at the progress on the neighboring property as they clear some ground. As I was coming back down the road, I saw Mr. FixIt out looking for me in the field. The cat keeps losing her breakaway collars and he was hoping to find the one he bought her yesterday. No luck.
\n\n\nI came in to write this, opened Facebook, and the first person I saw on my feed was...Rachel! My heart smiled big! I searched for, and listened to, some of Ralph Stanley’s great bluegrass gospel and found this album. So, this is today’s treat for “Feel Good Friday.” If this doesn’t make you feel good, I don’t know what will!
\n\n\nThe Stanley Brothers - Good Old Camp Meeting Songs
\n\n\nLove you all. Take care of yourselves...and each other.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n“speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.”
\n\n\nEphesians 5:19-20 NIV
\n\n\n#GospelMusic, #StanleyBrothers, #Hymns
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-08-07T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/08/07/day-having-trouble-feeling-good.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Prayer","Positive Energy","West Virginia","Grace","God","Wisdom","Peaceful Moments","Be Joyful!","Farm Life"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/08/06/day-we-are-all-differentyet.html", "title": "Day 141: We Are All Different...Yet We Are One", "content_html": "\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/d66382bbde.jpg\")
He’s been there since I took my first breath. My big brother. My “Bubby”. My first playmate. My first friend. We were in cahoots on many occasions...but I was always the instigator. He was special. Always gentle...always sweet. He didn’t run and play like the other kids so he was happy to sit on the floor with me for hours...rolling the ball back and forth...playing with cars...building with blocks.
\n\n\nEvery week, we went to this special place to play for an hour or so. There was a table with four doors...one on each side. You opened the door, stood inside, and someone closed the door after you. Then you could play with the objects on the table. Sometimes they would bring us cookies and milk while we stood there. I think I always knew this was a place that helped my Bubby, but I never saw him as anything other than the perfect brother.
\n\n\nI will never forget driving up Murdoch Avenue one day. Bubby and I were sitting in the back seat and I could tell my mom was crying...though she tried very hard to hide it. When we got home, she asked us to go play and she went in her room for a while. Later, when she was tucking us into bed, I asked her what was wrong.
\n\n\n“Oh, Sis...I just got some news today that was upsetting to me.”
\n\n\n“What was it, Mommy? Are you sick?” One of our neighbors had something called “cancer” and I was very afraid my mommy would catch it. Daddy said she could.
\n\n\n“No, sweetheart. You’re a big girl now. I can tell you. They told me today that your Bubby has Cerebral Palsy. They said he may never be able to drive a car or get a good job. He may be crippled his whole life.”
\n\n\nI didn’t know what to say to my mom because my Bubby was the same he had always been. I was growing up, but I didn’t have a concept of what life might look like for my brother.
\n\n\nAfter that, I was always my brother’s champion. I protected him from neighborhood bullies. I was one of the only people who could understand what he said. I interpreted for him and ran interference...so well, in fact, that I had to learn to back off a little so he could learn how to do things for himself.
\n\n\nHe went as far in “special school” as he could...8th grade. It took him 12 years, but he finally earned his GED. He was so proud. We were so proud for him. They sent him away for “vocational training” but he wasn’t very successful at any of the jobs they tried to teach him...mainly because Mom insisted he come home every weekend. It wasn’t that she didn’t want him to succeed. She just wanted him to be home where she had control over what he did and saw.
\n\n\nHe worked in the Sheltered Workshop for 25 years or so, and when Mom retired, she found it easier to just keep him home with her. He was good company for her. She devoted her entire life to him...taking care of his every need.
\n\n\nThen she died.
\n\n\nHe came to Colorado to live near me because, by the Grace of God, he was accepted into a wonderful program for adults who are “differently abled.” When I had the opportunity to come to West Virginia to live, I offered to “bring him home” with me. But he wouldn’t hear of it. He told me he has a life in Colorado...a life he never would have had if he had stayed in West Virginia. As a matter of fact, he told me one time...if I hadn’t have brought him to Colorado, he would be in a nursing home. And that is the God’s truth. He would have. He now enjoys as independent a life as he can live. He has a roommate. They have support staff come in frequently to make sure they are taking their medicine, check on their finances, get them to medical appointments, take them shopping, help them with meal planning.
\n\n\nHe loves his roommate. He told me once that he never had a best friend before, but his roommate is his best friend. That warms my heart more than you can know. To rest secure in knowing he will always be taken care of, that he is happy and as healthy as he can be, that he has a happy and fulfilling life...well, that is such a blessing to me.
\n\n\nMy friend Jan shared this video on Facebook last night and I cried when I saw it. Just like I cry when I see someone who is differently abled and they succeed at something we so often take for granted. I know how hard it is to do “normal” things. I saw how much work my brother put into learning how to take care of himself, cook his meals, do his laundry, keep his room clean. To see these kids and young adults expressing themselves with joyous abandon...being exactly who they are...take me or leave me...just warmed the cockles of my heart.
\n\n\nI’m missing my big brother and all my Colorado peeps something awful right now. As of the 3rd, it’s been a full year since I’ve seen them and I’ve never gone that long. I do not feel it is safe, or fair, to go visit them now. I certainly would not want to make any of my loved ones ill....especially my brother. He has become much more frail the last few years and I must protect him from all this if I can. I pray there will be a time soon when we can see each other. Until then, we will have to be satisfied with phone calls.
\n\n\n\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-08-06T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/08/06/day-we-are-all-differentyet.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Gratitude","Grace","Wisdom","Aging","Kindness"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/07/29/day-the-many-faces-of.html", "title": "Day 133: The Many Faces of Grief", "content_html": "\n“The Lord said to him, “Who gave human beings their mouths? Who makes them deaf or mute? Who gives them sight or makes them blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.””
\nExodus 4:11-12 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/4799e91537.jpg\")
I received a phone call yesterday from my baby cousin. She was the one who lived far away and came to visit us several times when we were growing up. She’s had her hands full...caring for her mom, my favorite auntie. And for her husband, who has been ill for quite some time. They are young...not quite sixty. I remember the first time I got to see her. She couldn’t quite walk and my aunt had her dressed in the sweetest little outfit with a matching coat. Her little curls stuck out from under the edges of the matching bonnet.
\n\n\nWe were all smitten with our “Trinket”, as Grandma called her. She was like a china doll and we didn’t even mind that Grandma paid all her attention to this little one. We knew she was special. Anyway...she called yesterday. Her beloved husband passed in his sleep Sunday night. My heart breaks for her because I know what she is going through. I know what she has ahead of her. I pray for her comfort and peace. I know she is very strong and capable and she will get through this. I just hate it for her.
\n\n\nWhen I look back at pictures of us all those many years ago, we had no idea what was going to happen to us in our lives. She is now the third of us cousins to lose a spouse. Grandma lost her only love when she was sixty-five. She showed us girls how to live through that with strength and dignity and courage.
\n\n\nThere are so many faces of grief. It isn’t just the death of a person that grieves us. We can feel just as deep grief whether the source is a person, place, or thing. I’ve been grieving a potential loss the last couple of years knowing my beloved family farm will not always be “mine”. My uncle owns it and he is aging now. He cannot keep coming to fix it or put the money into it forever, so the time will come.
\n\n\nI was grieving that more this week since the tree came down and the house needed fixing. It made the “eventuality” come closer to the forefront. I have to admit, I became distraught over it. Then “Trinket” lost her husband and God whispered...”All things must come to an end and come Home to me.”
\n\n\nWe can make all the plans we want. We can have dreams and adventures. And in the end, our best gift is the memories we made with the time we were given. I’ve been having a lot of fun with this baking and gardening and canning. And, as soon as that settles down, my focus is back on writing. I’m going to write the story of...The Farm: A Story of Love and Land. I’ll gather pictures and stories from everyone and we’ll have a book for the family to read and remember. Then we’ll have a grand reunion and say a proper goodbye to this home of my heart.
\n\n\nI have no idea how much time I have exactly for this project, but I’m giving myself a year. That should be plenty. And it will help ease my dependence on the old house. Someday she will not be ours...she will belong to another family. But, she will always and forever be the home of my heart.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-07-29T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/07/29/day-the-many-faces-of.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","West Virginia","The Farm","Growth","Gratitude","Wisdom","Choices","Change","Farm Life","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/07/14/day-the-books-from-beyond.html", "title": "Day 118: The Books from Beyond", "content_html": "\n“My people will live in peaceful dwelling places, in secure homes, in undisturbed places of rest. Though hail flattens the forest and the city is leveled completely, how blessed you will be, sowing your seed by every stream, and letting your cattle and donkeys range free.”
\nIsaiah 32:18-20 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/ce37dd9db7.jpg\")
I have a mystery. But it has a backstory you need to hear first.
\n\n\nIf you’ve been following me for some time, you know I moved to West Virginia from Colorado to care for my elderly aunt who was living alone on the family farm. We tried it out for ten rather long and, dare I say, miserable weeks for both of us. She was a strong willed, independent woman who expected you to do what she said, when she said it. I’m not the type to take orders well, so when she invited me to leave on Christmas Day, I took myself on a totally different adventure for the following couple of years.
\n\n\nI didn’t realize it at the time, but Aunt Peeps was slipping into the netherworld of dementia which caused her to lose what little bit of a filter she had to begin with. Still, I had wonderful conversations with her over the years. If she liked you, she would do anything to help you achieve your dreams. She admired hard work and perseverance. She was a teacher...erudite and proper.
\n\n\nI remember when I was very young, she came to visit with photographs from Cleveland and Washington, DC. Grainy black and white snapshots depicting water fountains and lunch counters with signs over them that said “Whites Only”. I didn’t understand what that meant and she carefully explained racism to me in words a little girl might comprehend. She was quite adamant...as was my grandma...that we never, ever treat other’s differently. We are all God’s children.
\n\n\nI grew up poor. Not dirt poor. Not welfare poor. But we didn’t have a lot of extras and ate from grandma’s garden quite a bit. I married my high school boyfriend and escaped what I felt at the time was the hell of West Virginia. When that marriage failed, I ended up marrying a young physical therapist who was heading into medical school. As our affluence increased, we rose higher and higher on the white privilege scale. Five years after that marriage ended, I met Mr. Virgo. He had worked his entire career in the hospitality industry at numerous Five Star resorts and restaurants around the world. So I was still in the realm of privilege. I had a housekeeper and a full length blue fox coat and a new car every couple of years.
\n\n\nI don’t believe I’ve ever been overtly racist, but there were many years where I just didn’t really give the struggles of ethnic communities much thought. And that is the essence of what is referred to as white privilege. With the onset of civil unrest over racial disparities, I have taken it upon myself to learn as much as I can on the subject so that I can better understand the plight of People of Color. I want to be a better human.
\n\n\nAfter Aunt Peeps died, my uncle came to the farm to get some of her papers that he needed to settle her estate. These papers were in boxes in the closet upstairs in her bedroom. The next time I was out there, I went upstairs and there were a few items on the bed. There was also a day bed up there with several boxes of my own things. I didn’t notice anything of any import that day.
\n\n\nLast weekend, when I was out there working on the taxes, it was so bloody hot and the air conditioner was not working. I went upstairs to turn the fan on in the bedroom opposite hers. As I was coming back out of the room to the top of the stairs, I glanced into Aunt Peeps’ room and noticed something I hadn’t seen before. There were two books laying neatly stacked on the pillow. I would have sworn they weren’t there before.
\n\n\nI went in and picked up the books and my jaw dropped.
\n\n\n“The Autobiography of Malcom X” by Alex Haley.
\n\n\n“Black Boy” by Richard Wright.
\n\n\nTwo seminal literary works about the black experience in this country. Not at all the kind of books I saw my aunt reading as I grew up or when I lived with her. And certainly not anything I had ever seen there before. Where did they come from? Who placed them so carefully where I would be sure to find them? I have no idea. But I picked them up and smiled, tucked them neatly under my arm, and have set a goal to read them both to better understand.
\n\n\nEver the educator. Ever the fair-minded yet fierce educator. I believe my Aunt Peeps left me a gift...exactly the gift I needed at exactly the right time.
\n\n\nShe teaches...still.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-07-14T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/07/14/day-the-books-from-beyond.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","West Virginia","The Farm","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/07/01/day-tipping-the-scale.html", "title": "Day 106: Tipping the Scale", "content_html": "\n“For God does not show favoritism.”
\nRomans 2:11 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/58d83015cc.jpg\")
Oh....it’s July. I feel like we should be peeking around the corner very carefully...you know, just in case it’s a trap!
\n\n\nSo, I went to the doctor yesterday. All the usual precautions...wear a mask, don’t arrive more than fifteen minutes before your appointment, practice social distancing, no one can come with you. No problem...this was my “Great Escape”....my master plan for getting a few hours on my own.
\n\n\nThey took my temp, asked me the questions...Have you traveled outside the country in the past fourteen days? I wish! Have you had a fever, cough, or difficulty breathing? Nope. Have you been around anyone diagnosed with Covid-19? No, I haven’t been around anyone but Mr. FixIt since February...that’s why I’m at the doctor ALONE! I feel kinda like I did the first time my last child went to school. Yippeeeeee!
\n\n\nLorri called me back and we exchanged the usual pleasantries. She finally got a little time off. My feet and legs aren’t hurting as much. She’s been having some neck pain. I’ve been trying to get three hours to myself. You know...girl stuff. Then...she took me down the hall...to the dreaded scale.
\n\n\nNow, if you have been reading this blog at all for the last four months, you know that I have been obsessed with baking. Sourdough, homemade pizza, tofu, biscuits, English muffins, jam, apple pie, yoghurt. Comfort foods like fried potatoes and cookies and grilled cheese. Outings for ice cream. Hokey smokes...I’ve been doing the walk of shame from the refrigerator to the recliner for months! I was really, REALLY dreading this. But...what can you do? It’s gotta be done, I suppose.
\n\n\nI was shocked.
\n\n\nI gained one pound. Sixteen little ounces!
\n\n\nDodged a bullet there.
\n\n\nDuring my seven or so hours on my own, I went to Sam’s and Walmart and the Post Office. I stopped and got Mr. FixIt a drink and waited outside PT for the last five minutes so I could give it to him. I mean, I was driving right by...and I knew he would appreciate a cold drink after they worked him hard in there. Yeah...I’m such a softie. What can I say...I love the big lug!
\n\n\nWhile I was out driving around, I was still trying to figure out what went wrong with my sourdough on Monday. I went through all the steps trying to figure out what was different when it struck me. The last time I bought unbleached flour, it was the the only kind they had at the Piggly Wiggly...the store brand. Cheap, yes...but who knows how old or what quality it was or even if it really WAS unbleached. You have to used unbleached flour or the wild yeasts are killed by the residual chlorine in the flour. As I was thinking back, I realized the last couple of weeks, my sourdough starter hasn’t been as robust as it had been. That had to be it. I bought some King Arthur’s Unbleached All Purpose Flour at the store, came home, and fed the starter and...BAM! Bubbly and active. I love science!
\n\n\nOnce the groceries were put away, I spent over an hour out in the pool. Now...that was heavenly! It was 90℉ and sticky humid. I vacuumed and skimmed the pool and floated around and gazed upon my surroundings. God and I had a long talk and I apologized that I hadn’t been spending enough time with him of late. I thanked him for every single thing I set my eyes on. And then...I thanked him so much for giving me the greatest guy a gal could ever want when he set Mr. FixIt in my path.
\n\n\nSeven little hours. One little pound.
\n\n\nIt was a really great day.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-07-01T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/07/01/day-tipping-the-scale.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Gratitude","Wisdom","Choices","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/06/30/day-correcting-course.html", "title": "Day 105: Correcting Course", "content_html": "\n“Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.”
\nPsalms 51:10-12 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/57d405e40b.jpg\")
Ugh...yesterday was Monday.....ALL day. It was one of those days when nothing I touched worked right. I went out for a walk around the property before breakfast. The oats were done and Mr. FixIt couldn’t find me. I could hear him yelling that breakfast was ready, but he couldn’t hear me because the air conditioning unit was running. I walked up to the house, went in, and sat down at the bar in the kitchen. I thought maybe he had gone around front so I sat and waited. All of a sudden, I heard him yelling in the bedroom and scared me half to death. He was yelling out the bedroom window for me and I thought he’d fallen or something. Oy.
\n\n\nAfter breakfast, I made my sourdough starter and it just didn’t look quite right, but I went ahead and mixed up the dough. While it was raising, I got on the computer to do my banking. The internet went out. I got tech support on live chat. Well, ok...I was #3 in the queue. After more than two hours of futzing around with that, they had to schedule a technician to come visit. Oy, again.
\n\n\nI finally got the dough to a place where I could let it rise on its own and Mr. FixIt decided he wanted a hamburger for supper. I thought we would go to the little shop in our little town and get some burger. No...he wanted a real burger. We couldn’t decide where to get one so I took matters into my own hands and when we got there...thirty miles away...the joint was closed. Argh!
\n\n\nWe went to Lowe’s and bought light bulbs for over the sink. They didn’t have the bright white...only the cool white. We got home and Mr. FixIt couldn’t work over his head and he knocked down my flying pig that hangs in the window. It broke and I was done. I climbed up on a stool and fixed both lights.
\n\n\nIt was time to put the bread in to bake, and...I have no idea what I did wrong, but it was wet and soupy and wouldn’t hold together. There wasn’t anything else I could do with it. The starter wasn’t really strong and I was at the end of its fermentation, so there was no recovering it. I ended up dumping it in the trash. I’m sure I could have done something with it, but I didn’t have anything left in me to try.
\n\n\nI am very familiar with days like this...and I know what causes them. I have been so busy trying to keep everything up around here that I have slacked on in the one thing I know better than to slack off in. I haven’t been keeping up with my devotionals nor have I been spending enough time in the Word. I can always tell when I have veered off course. It’s like being in a row boat in a storm...with no oars and no rudder. I just get tossed about and all I want to do is cry.
\n\n\nSo, I made an executive decision. I have an appointment in town today. One quick appointment and a stop for gas. Mr. FixIt has two appointments. He cannot come into mine. And I can’t go into his. We would have to sit in the truck and wait for the other in ninety degree heat. I have hardly had a moment to myself since February. I told Mr. FixIt I would go into my appointment on my own, and he can do his. He’s been doing a little driving here and there and his balance seems to be much better. I’m sure he’ll be fine.
\n\n\nJust knowing I can have some time to spend with God...all on my own...made my spirits pick up. I know I tell you all the time...”You cannot fill someone else’s cup if yours is empty.” But, it’s a whole lot easier to tell someone else than it is to follow my own advice!
\n\n\nI’ll just leave that long Monday alone now and learn from the lesson it taught me.
\n\n\nPeace, be still.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-06-30T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/06/30/day-correcting-course.html", "tags": ["Prayer","Grace","Wisdom","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/06/28/day-duty-a-dip-and.html", "title": "Day 103: Duty, a Dip, and Date Night", "content_html": "\n“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
\nMatthew 6:33-34 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/608b9ee9ad.jpg\")
After my morning coffee, Mr. FixIt was on the phone when I walked by, blew him a kiss, and went out to mow. It was pretty hot out there, but I have learned how to mow with one hand and hold a huge golf umbrella with the other. I have to wear a mask because of all the allergens that get stirred up, so it’s kind of stuffy and sticky out there. I’ve figured out how to hold the umbrella just right to catch any hint of a breeze which makes the chore so much easier.
\n\n\nI was just about finished with the two big fields when I saw my sweetheart come out and start with the push mower. He mowed around the areas I couldn’t reach with the big riding mower. Then he got the weed eater out and trimmed around the yard as I took up the push mower inside the fenced yard. I kept one eye on my work and the other to make sure Mr. FixIt didn’t overdo in the heat, but he did great. It was a good day.
\n\n\nHe feels bad when he can’t do everything he did before, but he is gaining his strength and the confidence that comes with realizing he’s improving. I was talking with my cousin the other day. She asked how I was holding up. I told her I was doing great. I’m keeping really busy and that occupies my mind so it doesn’t go places it doesn’t need to go. Listen, I’d be lying if I said none of this has affected me. I would surely have loved having fifteen years of the fun stuff before we have to deal with the not so fun stuff of health issues. But, that’s not what happens in real life. Not when you marry at our age. The truth is, it doesn’t make a bit of difference if we were married a week or a year or two decades...you do what you need to do when circumstances change. It’s in the vows we took that day in our field...”to have and to hold, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, till death I do part.” It is our sworn duty.
\n\n\nMy duty is to do the things Mr. FixIt can’t right now. Just as he would do if the roles were reversed. One can whine about it. Or one can put on the big girl panties and get the job done. It’s a choice. I always choose joy and love. I mowed, watered the garden, and tied up the tomato plants. Easy peasy.
\n\n\nWhen we were finished with the hot and dusty work in the yard, we took a refreshing dip in the pool. It’s times like that when I can totally justify the extra work and expense the pool entails. We cleaned and skimmed and walked around while we talked and enjoyed a perfectly beautiful evening. I swam up to my man and said,
\n\n\n“Hey...how would you like to buy me dinner?”
\n\n\nHe lit up like a Christmas tree. We decided on Italian, placed our order, then drove to town. As we were picking up our food, the leaden skies opened up into a downpour. We drove across the river and found a lovely parking spot where we could watch the boat traffic. We had our picnic in the rain...inside the truck. It seems to do that every date night, but it doesn’t dampen our enthusiasm.
\n\n\nWe got home just before dark and walked around a bit, checking out the garden and the fruit trees. We don’t have a single pear this year. There were late frosts this spring and that took care of any hopes of a bountiful harvest like last year. We have onions and zucchini and crook neck squash setting on and several tomatoes are showing. There are teeny, tiny peppers starting to grow and the pumpkin plants are vining. I love watching a garden grow and this year I’m actually going to be here to enjoy it.
\n\n\nWe came in and I fed my sourdough starter in preparation for baking today. As I was settling in to write this, I thought...”How many times and how many ways can I tell them I’m mowing and baking bread?” Spoiler alert: Many, many times!
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-06-28T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/06/28/day-duty-a-dip-and.html", "tags": ["Family","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","West Virginia","Love","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/06/03/day-taking-a-look-in.html", "title": "Day 79: Taking a Look in the Mirror", "content_html": "\n““But ask the animals, and they will teach you, or the birds in the sky, and they will tell you; or speak to the earth, and it will teach you, or let the fish in the sea inform you. Which of all these does not know that the hand of the Lord has done this? In his hand is the life of every creature and the breath of all mankind. Does not the ear test words as the tongue tastes food? Is not wisdom found among the aged? Does not long life bring understanding?”
\nJob 12:7-12 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/f9521a01f9.jpg\")
When I was growing up in the mid to late ‘50s, the Civil Rights Movement was gaining speed. One of my first friends in grade school was a little black girl named Lisa. Lisa went on to become a pastor and actually performed our marriage ceremony out in our field when Mr. FixIt and I got married.
\n\n\nMy aunt that recently passed away was a Head Start teacher in Washington, DC in the ‘50s. She showed me photographs that had the words “Colored” and “Whites” over the drinking fountains in the school where she taught. I couldn’t understand what they were talking about. My grandma sat me down and told me under no uncertain terms was I to EVER treat anyone differently because of the color of their skin. Therefore...all these many years...I’ve thought I was not racist.
\n\n\nOne of the many things I learned from therapy was how to take a good hard look at myself and own/change my less-than-stellar character traits. Back in the mid to late ‘70s I was a single mom. I went out to a bar one night with some friends and a handsome black man showed interest in me and I demurred. I had a young daughter at home, and I was not nearly as enlightened as I thought I was. And I felt ashamed by that. Would I have had a problem with one of my daughters marrying a person of color? Not at all. But back when this happened, I was a young woman...still wet behind the ears...and frankly afraid.
\n\n\nI’ve said things like “All Lives Matter” and “I’m colorblind”. But now? I will forever hear “I can’t breathe” in my mind...echoing over and over. We watched a lynching on video. How can I not be changed by that? I want to be MORE than “not racist”. I want to be “anti-racist”. And to do that, I have to educate myself to the real everyday existence of people of color. I can’t turn a blind eye and not say anything. I have to wake up and learn and do whatever is in my power to make the changes that need to come to fulfill what the Bible tells us to do.
\n\n\nThe Golden Rule has to be the base upon which all reparations are made to those who have been disenfranchised because of the amount of melanin that is in their skin. It’s only right.
\n\n\nI cannot condone violence and looting and killings. But I will support peaceful protests and I vow to educate myself to their plight.
\n\n\nI found this article to be a good starting point.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-06-03T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/06/03/day-taking-a-look-in.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Positive Energy","Growth","New Ideas","Grace","Peace","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Humbled","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/05/25/day-learning-new-skills.html", "title": "Day 70: Learning New Skills", "content_html": "\n“So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.”
\nMatthew 7:12 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/186e6e36ec.jpg\")
A few years ago, a clerk at the swimming pool supply store gave Mr. FixIt a handy dandy little trick to keep from having to empty so much water from the pool in the winter. It was supposed to keep the skimmer from freezing. Unfortunately, it didn’t work and the skimmer cracked. Being the frugal fixit man my husband is, he managed to jury rig the whole thing and get another four years use out of it. He’s a smart man. But, alas...the time came when we couldn’t keep it together with spit and glue anymore and we bit the bullet. We bought a new one.
\n\n\nNow, in my old life as a Princess, I would have just called the pool guy, ordered a skimmer, and have him come out and install it. I always justified those expenses by figuring out how long it would take me to do it multiplied by how much I valued my time. I valued my time a LOT. Nowadays, we have nothing BUT time, and being the frugal fixit man that he is, we set to installing the skimmer ourselves yesterday.
\n\n\nWith a break during the hottest part of the day, I’d say it took us a good five to six hours to install that baby. It’s made well, and all the parts were there, but I could NOT turn the screws when it came time to put it together. I tried and tried. I grunted and may have said a naughty word or two. Mr. FixIt wasn’t helping when he said, “Just turn it!”
\n\n\nI looked at him and informed him he was getting dangerously close to doing this entire job by himself. Finally, I took the two pieces apart and looked in the holes. They were not threaded. Mr. FixIt took the drill and drove the screws into the holes to pre-thread them. When we tried the second time, they went in much easier. However, I couldn’t get the leverage I needed to drive them all the way in. I knew the only way this was going to work was for one of us to get in the pool to be in the right position.
\n\n\nThere was no way I was going to let my husband get down in that water. Not only would there be the balance issues from last weekend’s stroke, but there was the issue of the water that had not been cleaned yet. I couldn’t risk him getting an infection in his feet or legs. So...I said, let’s have a good dinner, then I can get in there and we’ll whip this thing out.
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/3b3c941720.jpg\")
I pulled the pork roast out of the oven and as it set, I steamed some broccoli, made a bowl of coleslaw, and sautéed the remaining mushrooms that were nearing their final days. We enjoyed our meal out on the pool deck, admiring the new pergola we built this spring and yet again congratulating ourselves for being so smart to buy it. It really keeps the temperature down at the table. After supper, we drove over to town to get a little ice cream for dessert.
\n\n\nIt was finally time to get in the pool and get this done. It was SO cold. The pool thermometer said “Lo”. I asked Mr. FixIt how low was “Lo”. He had no idea. I’ll tell you what...I know! “Lo” means “Darned Cold”! But this was exactly the position I needed to be in to put my weight behind it and it was no time till we were done. The seal around the skimmer was water tight and there were no more leaks. Eureka! I did a little happy dance and Mr. FixIt laughed.
\n\n\n“Get out of there before you get hypothermia!”
\n\n\nI love the sense of accomplishment that comes with doing a good job. And I love that I have a patient husband that is willing to teach me these things. Having these strokes has brought us a sense of urgency in getting jobs done and teaching me how to do everything around here. It’s all part of the whole “Autumn” thing.
\n\n\nSitting in the bedroom with the windows wide open and writing is the peaceful ending I crave to every day. It is my meditation time. I love hearing the frogs and the night noises and the tapping of my keyboard. It is the rhythm of my life.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-05-25T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/05/25/day-learning-new-skills.html", "tags": ["Health","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Gratitude","Wisdom","Aging","Change","Be Joyful!","Farm Life","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/05/23/day-call-lowesim-building-an.html", "title": "Day 68: Call Lowe’s...I’m Building an Ark!", "content_html": "\n“When you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet.”
\nProverbs 3:24 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/5955825325.jpg\")
Hokey Smokes! It has rained 20 inches so far this year in our neck of the woods. We waited all day yesterday to get enough warm sunshine to dry out the yard so we could mow one more time before my step-son comes to get his riding mower today. Mr. FixIt had physical therapy and we needed to find a couple things for the old tractor to work on it today. By the time we got back home, the skies opened up again and we were back to square one.
\n\n\nHopefully today is a nice day and we can mow and be good for another week, at least. I mean...on the one hand, when it rains you don’t have to mow. But, on the other...the grass grows like crazy with all that wonderful moisture. It’s a Catch-22. We also need to take the push mower out to the farm and mow out there. And this time, Mr. FixIt can’t help. I’m definitely going to get back in shape with all this exercise!
\n\n\nI hate that I’m not spending as much time in the kitchen as I was. It’s so soothing to me to create good things that nourish my family...and our wounded spirits. We have nowhere to go this weekend...our people are coming to us to help with mowing and welding and fixing things that need fixing. I can spend some time in the kitchen and bake them some treats to take home. That will soothe my heart and bring me peace.
\n\n\nI’ve been thinking about my Aunt Peeps a lot this week. While she was a sophisticated woman with impeccable taste in fashion, she was a country girl at heart. She once told me, her main goal in life was to get a teaching degree and use it to make enough money to buy a farm in West Virginia. I don’t recall seeing her can and preserve food, but she was quite the cook. She didn’t quilt or sew, but she could work sunup to sundown with any man and give him a run for his money. She was an enigma. Tight as a drum with money, yet incredibly generous when she saw you were trying to improve yourself through education. She was your cheerleader if you were a hard worker. She deeply appreciated a good work ethic and had no patience for someone who she felt was lazy or “working the system.”
\n\n\nShe and I didn’t always see eye to eye about things, and I talked WAY too much for her tastes, but...we had one thing in common and that was the love we felt for Grandma’s farm. She was born in Pekin, Illinois along with two of her siblings. Grandma and Pop-Pop were living there during the Depression where work was to be found. When they finally came back home, there were already four children. Two were born after they moved back to West Virginia. The Farm was where they grew up. It’s where I grew up, too.
\n\n\nMy Uncle Bud came home to the farm last weekend to pick up some things that belonged to Aunt Peeps. He needed to find a picture of her for her obituary. I didn’t get to see him because that was the day Mr. FixIt came home from the hospital. I spoke with him this week and he was so pleased with how well we are caring for the family home. He said he was worried it would begin falling apart without someone living there full time, but I told him we go there often enough to breath life into the old place.
\n\n\nThere are some things that are failing...like the big barn and the old tool shed. They are starting to lean and there’s termite damage. But overall, the place looks great for being nearly a hundred years old. I still yearn to go there often to just rock on the front porch and listen to the birds and the wind in the trees. Everything is aging...the old home place, the tractor, the Ponderosa...and us.
\n\n\nThese are the things that went through my mind as I sat pretending to read while I watched my sweet husband having physical therapy. We’ve known each other since we were kids. But we’ve only been together a little over three years. We’ve both changed a lot in those three years. This marriage isn’t like the marriage of my youth...where time stretched before us like an endless summer vacation. This is the marriage where we get to wrap each other up in warm, comfy love and ride the long wave home. There’s no fooling ourselves. Oh, we aren’t at death’s door....but it is Autumn now. And, there is much comfort knowing I’ll be going through this with my best friend at my side.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-05-23T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/05/23/day-call-lowesim-building-an.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Overcoming Obstacles","West Virginia","Comfort","Love","Wisdom","Courage","Aging","Choices","Change","Farm Life","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/04/27/day-developing-faith-in-a.html", "title": "Day 42: Developing Faith in a Camper", "content_html": "\n“In all things I have shown you that by working hard in this way we must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’”
\nActs 20:35 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/a2e2f491bd.jpg\")
I went into x-ray training straight out of high school. Our first year was spent almost entirely in the classroom with gradual transition to working in the x-ray department. Our second year was almost all hands-on experience. We each had to take turns working in surgery, mostly in orthopedics taking films to see if bones were set and pins were placed correctly. It was fascinating and held my interest far more than high school ever did.
\n\n\nThere was a particular orthopedic surgeon everyone was nervous around. He was big and gruff and his voice boomed around the whole floor. When he told you to jump, you asked him how high on your way up. He had a habit of coming to the little closet where we hand developed his films. If he felt you were taking too long, he kicked hard on the door and scared you half to death.
\n\n\nOne particularly busy day, he came kicking on my door for the last time. I covered the developing tanks and opened the door and said, “What?!” He just stood there staring at me for a second.
\n\n\n“Where are my films!” His voice bellowed.
\n\n\nI really was shaking in my boots, but I’d had it up to here with being afraid every day so I put my hand on my hip and said, “Well, come in here and I’ll show you!”
\n\n\nHe walked in, still in his surgical garb and I shut the door behind him.
\n\n\nAs I opened the tanks back up, I explained to him that I could give him fast films or I could give him good films. It all depended on the temperature of the chemicals. Crank up the heat and you could develop those films lickety-split, but they were grainy and had very little definition.
\n\n\nWhen I was finished, I opened the door and handed him the films. I was absolutely sure I would get my can thrown out of school over that one, but from then on, there was a certain respect between us.
\n\n\nDeveloping faith is a lot like that. It takes time in a dark room to develop. It’s not like the digital images we great in nanoseconds. It takes work and time. And just like learning to take x-rays, we are tested when we learn to have faith. Those tests aren’t easy. We have to work through them feeling alone and wondering where the teacher is.
\n\n\nYou see, the teacher is silent during the test. It’s meant to be that way so that we can focus. Just because we can’t see the teacher doesn’t mean he isn’t there. He’s always there.
\n\n\nThese are trying times we are in right now. Hopefully, we are developing in our faith as we spend time in this dark room. Hopefully we are taking advantage of the quiet time during this time of testing. When we develop and grow in our faith, we are given the gift of tools to use when we move on to the next lesson. Faith gets built upon, day by day, year by year. We never stop growing older, so we should never stop growing in our faith, either.
\n\n\nI spent the majority of the day yesterday out in the camper. We watched online church. Then CBS Sunday Morning. Then I packed up my books and headed out to TOW-Wanda. It rained all day and it was so wonderful to cuddle up on the daybed under a blanket. I have to admit, I mostly stared out the windows as the rain dripped down the glass and tapped on the roof. The creek roared outside the window. I let myself feel soothed by the smells and sounds and comfort I find in my little sanctuary.
\n\n\nBy the end of the afternoon, I was ready to head back inside. Mr. FixIt had fixed a wonderful meal of baked chicken, potatoes, and asparagus. I felt like I’d had a vacation after spending the night and most of the day in the camper. Those quiet times of reflection, prayer, and meditation develop my faith, too.....slowly, quietly, peacefully.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-04-27T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/04/27/day-developing-faith-in-a.html", "tags": ["Faith","TOW-Wanda!","Growth","God","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/04/19/day-we-are-in-the.html", "title": "Day 34: We Are in the Same Storm...NOT the Same Boat", "content_html": "\n“And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us. And if we know that he hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests that we have asked of him.”
\n1 John 5:14-15 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/dc4fde4685.jpg\")
Let me preface this by stating this is not an original thought. I mean, really...IS there such a thing anymore? No, I read something yesterday on Facebook that someone forwarded. It was attributed to an “Unknown Author” so, who knows? If you wrote it or know for certain who did, let me know so I can give credit where credit is due.
\n\n\nThe premise of the post was the pandemic and where we factor in it. I’m sure we all have read “We are in the same boat!” That couldn’t be further from the truth. “We’ll get through this together!” Oh, that I truly pray for. But in the same boat? Nope. We’re in the same storm. And even that is somewhat different. The storm in Washington state and Florida and New York and Texas and New Orleans is far different than Montana and Wyoming and North Dakota and even here in West Virginia.
\n\n\nThe only thing that is absolute is, we are facing the same enemy...Covid-19. That’s the storm we are collectively facing. For some, it’s hardly a blip on the radar screen. For others, it’s a Class V Hurricane. To say we are all in the same boat is totally inaccurate. We are all in our own boats...sailing along as best we can with what’s being thrown our way. It’s a crapshoot where the dice will land when they're tossed our way.
\n\n\nSome of us are riding this wave with life vests out the wazoo. Money in the bank, food in the larder, a mortgage free home. It’s pretty much business as usual with a little more time at home than we’re used to. Maybe we don’t get the choicest cut of meat or they were out of our favorite wine. Maybe our biggest challenge is getting oh so bored with the menu at Chez Home Kitchen or we’ve gone through our DVR’s backlog of “must see” shows we always wanted to catch up on.
\n\n\nOthers have always been a paycheck away from hunger or homelessness. We’ve got parents teaching their children through online learning on top of working their own 10-12 hour day online...if we’re lucky enough to have a job, period. Some of us don’t have sweet and tender spouses ready to be there to back us up in our darkest time of need. Some of us have suffered abuse at night but at least had those hours on the job as a way to escape the blows for a while. Some of our children are facing hunger now more than ever...maybe for the first time in their little lives. Maybe the weight of the crises between moms and dad is spilling over and the littles are catching the brunt of it in ways we cannot imagine.
\n\n\nWe are NOT in the same boat. The single mom with three kids that’s trying to figure out how to keep her family together is not the same as the retired couple sipping their martini and watching the evening news together in their neat and tidy mansion on the 9th hole of the local country club.
\n\n\nWe are NOT in the same boat. The dad who works three jobs to put food on the table and finds himself standing in a food bank line for 10 hours to receive a sack of groceries the likes of which others can pick up at the corner market without a second thought.
\n\n\nWe are NOT in the same boat. Blacks and Latinos are dying in far greater numbers simply because their demographic puts them at a higher risk for disease.
\n\n\nWe ARE, however, in the same storm...more or less. We are facing a formidable foe. I pray we get through this together. But some of us won’t. Many of us won’t.
\n\n\nWe are seeing exactly what I told you we would see. I told you, if the numbers didn’t turn out to be the mega-catastrophic death tolls originally predicted, we would have people screaming that we over-reacted. I told you this would happen if the curve flattened but it’s not because we over-reacted. It’s because the safety measures we put in place did their jobs. This debate will rage for months...could more lives have been saved if we started earlier? Did we do enough? Did we do too much? Where and when did the virus actually start? Since we didn’t have enough tests, what is the actually number of patients infected?
\n\n\nNow we are seeing protests of the shutdown and some officials are easing restrictions in what others see as too soon and with reckless abandon. Just the other day I wrote a post about gaslighting and we are seeing more and more of that, too. Changes will come at a dizzying speed and it’s going to be hard to keep up. Throw a presidential election in the mix and...holy cats...what a mess.
\n\n\nIt’s not all gloom and doom, though. Look at how folks are rallying around the people on the front lines. Look at how people are contributing and volunteering and organizing. As Mrs. Rogers told her little boy...”Look for the helpers.” They're out there and they are doing good things. There are positive things coming from this. People are searching out ways to be of service.
\n\n\nIf you’re still having trouble finding a ray of hope, try this. There wasn’t a single school shooting in all of March 2020...the first March since 2002 to not see one.
\n\n\nThat is a sobering thought.
\n\n\nMaybe, just maybe....maybe we don’t WANT to go back to normal.
\n\n\nMaybe this is our chance to change. This is our do-over.
\n\n\nI had to do it after Mr. Virgo died. I had to create a whole new normal. A whole new world. A whole new identity. Heck, if I...in all my messy dysfunction...could work with God and create something as beautiful as the life I’m living, anything is possible.
\n\n\nAnything.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n\n““Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.”
\nIsaiah 43:18-19 ESV\n
#StartingOver, #Healing, #Coronavirus
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-04-19T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/04/19/day-we-are-in-the.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Growth","New Ideas","God","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Humbled","Choices","Change","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/04/15/day-cognitive-dissonance-and-my.html", "title": "Day 30: Cognitive Dissonance and My World View", "content_html": "\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/b019bb0bc3.jpg\")
Since we’ve been on the topic of mental health, we might as well broach one of the biggest crazy-makers there is. Cognitive Dissonance. I am not an expert, but I have a general understanding of this psychological concept. And it’s something that actually hurts my brain.
\n\n\nIt takes all kinds to make the world go ‘round. If we were all alike it would be a pretty boring world. There was a time in the not so distant past that people disagreed with each other...usually in politics or religion...and could still practice civil discourse without going off the rails in a temper tantrum. There was a time when civility and grace was a valued character trait.
\n\n\nFor me, Cognitive Dissonance shows up when I look at the world today versus, say...when Mr. Virgo died seven years ago. My long held world view does not match the view of the world I see today. It’s like I woke up in some George Orwell novel or something. Or a twisted version of Oz where the Wizard is an even bigger monster behind the curtain.
\n\n\nI’m not necessarily referring to party politics here, but the general state of humanity. This warp in my vision is highly disconcerting and makes me feel uncomfortable. But, it doesn’t make me pull a nutty and go off on perfect strangers via social media. It doesn’t make me scream obscenities at others because our views clash.
\n\n\nI can experience this level of discomfort and form a resolve to do what I can to help change the world. At the same time, I have to recognize there are others who are just as uncomfortable with my views as I am of theirs. It’s time to separate the wheat from the chaff. We have an opportunity here in the midst of the pandemic to come together with a little grace and poise and acceptance of our differences. We can...we MUST work together for the common good or we are lost.
\n\n\nI own a square foot of this world. It’s the place where I stand. It is from my square foot plot that I can build my platform. It is from my platform that I can serve others. It is in serving others that I find grace within. It is grace that will be perceived as kindness. It is kindness that demonstrates love. And, it is love that is the very foundation of life.
\n\n\nMay we all stand firmly on our square foot of ground and bring love and peace to the world. May this period spent in time out not be for nuthin’.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-04-15T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/04/15/day-cognitive-dissonance-and-my.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Growth","New Ideas","Comfort","Grace","Wisdom","Courage","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/04/13/day-and-the-gaslighting-begins.html", "title": "Day 28: And the Gaslighting Begins", "content_html": "\n“I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.”
\nEphesians 4:1-3 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/d273a406d9.jpg\")
This is probably going to be the darkest post I’ve ever written to you. It’s dark...but it’s not without hope. It’s not without love or light or promise. It is merely my observation and it has been weighing heavy on my heart the last few days. When something sits in me like that, I know I’m supposed to write about it, so here goes.
\n\n\nHumans like security. We don’t like change. When change is thrust upon us, we want everything to go back to normal as soon as possible. I learned as a new widow that life will move forward, but it will never be the same. At first, that devastated me. Then time and experience showed me that just because it’s different, doesn’t mean it can’t also be good again.
\n\n\nI read an article over the weekend about gaslighting and the pandemic. People are going to want the world to go back to the way it was and Madison Avenue has deep pockets. They’re going to start rolling out things that are going to make you doubt what you’ve seen with your own eyes. They’re going to make it look like this virus wasn’t really what you thought it was. They might even pretend it never happened. That it was all faked to scare you. It’s going to make you feel crazy.
\n\n\nYou aren’t crazy.
\n\n\nRemember what you saw. Remember the pictures and the stories and the pleas for help. Remember that, if the death toll doesn’t add up to the numbers originally predicted, it doesn’t mean the virus was faked or blown out of proportion. It means the steps we took by socially distancing ourselves and using proper hygiene worked. The steps worked.
\n\n\nIt’s easier to believe someone went overboard than it is to believe that a worldwide pandemic brought the world to a standstill.
\n\n\nIt’s easier to say maybe we misunderstood what someone said than to believe they actually said such frightening things.
\n\n\nThis is an adjustment phase we are coming into. Another layer of the onion this pandemic has set in our laps. We are going to see things we never dreamed we could possibly see in our country. It’s going to be frightening. It’s going to be confusing. But it doesn’t have to overcome us.
\n\n\nInstead of focusing on the unwanted changes, what would happen if we focus on some of the changes we aren’t even looking at.
\n\n\nChildren are learning that electronics are tools for education instead of mindlessly whiling away hours focused on violent video games.
\n\n\nFamilies are gathering around the table every day...teaching, learning, creating, eating, praying.
\n\n\nWe are learning to appreciate what is really important. We are learning new skills. We are getting mom’s old sewing machine out and making masks for people to use when they have to go out. We are teaching children to care for others in the process.
\n\n\nWe are slowing down and breathing. The environment is recovering. The earth is actually becoming quiet inside...it’s not vibrating like it was with all the heavy manufacturing and traffic. There are places in the world where you can see mountains that haven’t been seen in decades because of pollution. National Parks are closed to traffic so plants and animals will start to recover. Streams will run more pure.
\n\n\nMaybe when things open up, more people can work from home and keep the traffic down and give the earth a chance to heal.
\n\n\nI heard a woman on CBS Sunday Morning yesterday. She said that maybe the NEXT “greatest generation” is being raised now. Maybe they will see what happened and learn better ways of doing things. Maybe they will take the stumbling blocks we have placed before them and turn them into stepping stones. Maybe they will find the cures and the ways of dealing with pandemics that will avoid disasters like this.
\n\n\nNone of these things will happen if we let them downplay the seriousness of the pandemic. We must not forget this, as much as we would like to.
\n\n\nThere are brighter days ahead, I assure you. They will be different, certainly...but they can be good.
\n\n\nI read this week that Bible sales are skyrocketing. People are praying and meditating and practicing their individual faiths. People who haven’t had any faith are coming to find a faith of their own. For me, my faith is in God the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. I find great hope and comfort knowing that God never changes. Everything in the world will change. Everything. But God never does and He is with me always. He loves me and wants to prosper me and give me a rich and full life. Does that mean it’s going to be cushy and easy and nothing but a party? Heck no!
\n\n\nWe have this promise:
\n\n\n2 Timothy 1:7 - For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.
\n\n\nStand on this when you see the scary things. Just please...don’t forget they happened. We owe that to the brave souls standing on the front lines. The soldiers in this battle wear scrubs and uniforms, aprons and overalls, blue jeans and sweatpants. They’re nurses and doctors, therapists and technicians, cooks and housekeepers, trash men and sanitary workers, grocers and farmers, teachers and parents.
\n\n\nTake your fear and turn it into determination. Take your uncertainty and turn it into skills. Take your weary heart and turn it over and trust for better days.
\n\n\nAnd...know you are loved beyond measure.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n\n“for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.”
\n2 Timothy 1:7 ESV\n
Note: This is not a political post, whatsoever. It’s an observation of the human state of being during a time of crisis.
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-04-13T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/04/13/day-and-the-gaslighting-begins.html", "tags": ["Faith","Overcoming Obstacles","God","Wisdom","Fear","Warning"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/04/08/day-a-moment-of-peace.html", "title": "Day 23: A Moment of Peace", "content_html": "\n“The wind blows where it wishes, and you hear its sound, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes. So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit.\"”
John 3:8 ESV
I slept a deep and dreamless sleep at the farm. I went to sleep with the sounds of owls and the occasional night bird. I awoke to the sun striking the the tippy top of the far ridge, the glorious choir of songbirds echoing down the holler from the woods above. What little bit of spring rain we’ve had trickled quietly in the creek outside the bedroom window I had propped open with an old bottle. My breathing was steady...my heartbeat was slow. I was feeling quite zen in the moment.
\n\n\nI stretched and yawned and gazed out the window, then I received an alert on my phone. My brother/friend Greg was texting from Costa Rica.
\n\n\n“Hey...wish me happy birthday, sis!”
\n\n\nOMGosh! Why wasn’t his birthday on my calendar? I’m challenged in this area. I sat up, pulled the covers up around my chin, brushed my hair back, and hit the little camera icon. I have never tried a video chat on Instagram before, but there is a first time for everything, right? After three rings, there he was. My curly-haired buddy with the sparkling blue eyes...retired attorney, world traveler, born in the same hospital as me and delivered by the same doctor. We grew up right across the Ohio River from each other but didn’t meet until 2002 at a board meeting in New Castle, Colorado. Go figure.
\n\n\nHis gap-toothed smile is charming, his innocent youthfulness belies his age. Greg is truthfully the little brother I never had. I adore my older brother. I didn’t get to do the things with him some sisters do. He didn’t play football and look out for his little sister. He didn’t reluctantly drive me to school or protect me from boys he didn’t approve of. My older brother was born with a developmental disability and cerebral palsy. I would never trade him for anything in the world. I was HIS protector, so God sent me Greg to do the other stuff.
\n\n\nWhen Mr. Virgo died and I returned from my three month excursion in the wilderness and backroads of Colorado, I couldn’t sleep in my house. I didn’t want to sleep in my bed...our bed. So I kept Little TOW-Wanda out front, plugged in, and essentially lived out there till I finally had to park her in storage for the winter. Greg and I were both night owls. If he saw me online at some ungodly hour, he sent me a text to see if I was ok. I can’t tell you how many times he walked the six or seven blocks from his house to mine at 2:00 in the morning to just sit with me in my camper.
\n\n\nWe propped pillows up at each end of my bed, he at one end...me at the other. It was getting chilly so we threw a quilt over our legs. Sometimes we listened to music. Sometimes we shared pictures on our phones. Sometimes I cried and he sat quietly and listened. He’s a good brother...as much a brother as any. And I got to start my soft, zen-like day singing happy birthday to him and catch up with each other’s lives. It was delightful.
\n\n\nWhen we finally said goodbye, I padded into the kitchen to make my coffee, threw in another load of laundry, and sat in Grandma’s chair to watch the world play out in front of me. I took a deep breath. No television. No news. No “press conferences”. No updates. I could just as easily have been sitting in a cabin in the woods in 1886 as remote and distant the world felt. This is what I was talking about a couple of weeks ago when I posted on my personal FB page... “Should married couples socially distance from each other? (Asking for a friend.)” I was trying to be funny...sort of.
\n\n\nI love Mr. FixIt completely. AND...I know myself. I need a break away from time to time to recharge and catch my breath. I need to NOT hear a television for, at the very least...24 hours. I am a much happier person when I get these little breaks...and when I’m happier, Mr. FixIt can’t help but be happier, too. It doesn’t take long and we can’t stand being apart. But oh...that twenty-four hours is delicious.
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/1349d62bc3.jpg\")
I finished my laundry and gathered some things up from the kitchen that I wanted to take home. The pots and pans I left at the farm are much nicer than the ones over at the house, so I gathered the good pans up to bring home with me. The next time we go back over, I’ll take the older pans from here and leave them at the farm. No one comes there but us, and we will do fine with them. I also brought my blender and my handheld KitchenAid mixer. Some knives and my wonderful crock with my spatulas and wooden spoons. And the red teakettle I bought a few years ago when I came back to the farm full time.
\n\n\nBy the time I got the car packed up, it was nearly 3:00 in the afternoon. I drove home and mowed the back yard for Mr. FixIt. It was warm and sunny. When I was done, I stretched out on the bed in front of the fan for a power nap. We had supper and sat out on the deck under our new pergola and played with the cat.
\n\n\nFor twenty-four hours, coronavirus was far away. Scary things were far away. Death and dying and illness were far away. I had the mental health break I needed and came back feeling stronger and more centered and rested. It’s important to take care of our mental health...always, but especially now.
\n\n\nWhat are you doing to help with your mental health? What are your self care rituals?
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-04-08T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/04/08/day-a-moment-of-peace.html", "tags": ["Positive Energy","West Virginia","The Farm","Comfort","Peace","Wisdom","Presence","Peaceful Moments"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/04/02/day-my-dressy-mask.html", "title": "Day 17: My “Dressy Mask”", "content_html": "\n“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.”
\nJohn 14:27 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/adc6747ce7.jpg\")
Yesterday was filled with good news, but it got a slow start. Mr. FixIt had an appointment at 9:00 which means he woke me at 8:00. Which means I’d had a solid two hours of sleep. I just haven’t slept much at all since I started feeling bad. I’d lay there and wonder if it was coronavirus. I would surreptitiously take my temperature every hour on the hour. I could not turn my mind off.
\n\n\nWhen I had trouble waking up, my sweet husband lovingly offered to let me sleep and he went off to his appointment by himself. They wouldn’t have let me in the room anyway so I couldn’t have been much help. I was asleep before he left the house.
\n\n\nI had an appointment to follow up with this parathyroid issue and the scans they did. When I arrived, this time I had to tell the medical staff at the makeshift desk in the lobby that I’ve been having some symptoms that could possibly be attributed to coronavirus. This time I was ushered to a room with a young woman in full hazmat regalia and carefully questioned. The really good news is...the nurse practitioner is convinced my symptoms are a combinations of severe allergies and the parathyroid issues. I’m trusting she is right. Also, it does not appear to be cancer. However, I still have a parathyroid tumor that is causing hyperparathyroidism and that has to be addressed with an endocrinologist in June.
\n\n\nI had to make a run to the pharmacy to pick up some meds. Yesterday was the first day I have gone out with a mask. Partly because I was concerned I could possibly make someone sick. Partly because I didn’t want to get sick from anyone else. As I stood in line at the pharmacy, a woman turned and asked where I got my mask.
\n\n\n“I bought it last summer to mow the grass. I have asthma and I can easily end up with really bad bronchitis and have to be hospitalized for it, so now I wear an N95 mask. They came two to a package. I have one of them hanging on the riding mower to remind me to wear it. This one is my “dressy mask” for going out.”
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/94f9f3a053.jpg\")
She hesitated a moment then we both broke out laughing at the absurdity of a “dressy mask”. I told her it was soon to be all the rage. People will be adding glitter and sequins and ruffles before long. It made for a lighter moment in a scary situation. If you would have told either one of us last Thanksgiving that, before Easter, we would be walking around wearing masks and schools would be out and people would be working from home, if they were working at all....we would never have believed you.
\n\n\nI honestly felt more comfortable being out in the mask. And, I could see why the medical experts are concerned that wearing a mask would give people a false sense of security and they wouldn’t take the other precautions as seriously. When I was in x-ray school, I had to learn about maintaining a sterile field. The average person doesn’t have a clue how to maintain that. It isn’t easy and is totally opposite of what we normally do in our daily living.
\n\n\nThe good news is, we are learning new skills. And we will continue to learn them because we are a resourceful species.
\n\n\nThe very best news is, Mr. FixIt has met with all the specialists he needed to see after his stroke in February and he has been given a clean bill of health. We are so very grateful to get another chance at this beautiful life.
\n\n\nOh, and today is Daughter #2’s birthday. She turns thirty today...a monumental time in a woman’s life. And, she’s doing it during a pandemic...on a day where it’s supposed to snow. This gal has been knocked down so many times by life and she keeps getting back up...time after time. It’s a heck of a way to ring in the Big 3-0, but “resilient” is her middle name. Happy Birthday, Moon Pie...I love you to the moon, eleventy-seventy-teen times and back!
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-04-02T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/04/02/day-my-dressy-mask.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Wisdom","Warning","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/04/01/day-is-it-allergiesor-is.html", "title": "Day 16: Is it Allergies...or is it Covid?", "content_html": "\n“For I will restore health to you, and your wounds I will heal, declares the Lord...”
\nJeremiah 30:17 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/0ab87e8384.jpg\")
I can tell you what’s going on outside without even looking. If my head throbs and my throat is scratchy and I’m sneezing my head off, it’s sunny and warm with a breeze. Every January, I try to remember to start using my nasal steroids to ward off my seasonal allergies and it never fails...March comes and I smack my forehead. If I start early enough, it’s always so much better, but I seldom remember.
\n\n\nSo, Sunday afternoon when I got home from the farm and jumped on the riding mower, I’d only had a few weeks worth of Flonase treatment on board. Even with that and an N95 mask, by nightfall my head was pounding, my eyes were itchy, my throat was scratchy, and I was coughing.
\n\n\nI laid in bed for most of the night wondering if I had coronavirus. I took my temperature every hour on the hour. I thought back to everywhere I’ve been in the past 6-8 weeks. I counted the number of times I washed my hands. Did I touch my face? Did I forget to use a paper towel to open that door? Is that stomach ache from the spaghetti sauce or am I coming down with something?
\n\n\nThis is the kind of thinking that will drive you crazy. It does absolutely no good to worry myself, and Mr. FixIt, to death about it. I’ll continue to monitor my symptoms but I know it most certainly is the same allergy symptoms I’ve experienced every spring for years.
\n\n\nI was thinking about something the other day. There is a very real comparison to what I’m feeling now and what I felt in the aftermath of Mr. Virgo’s death. Not nearly to the same degree...but eerily similar. I was all set to accomplish great things with this newfound “stay-at-home” order. I thought this would be a period of intense productivity. We’d get this bathroom finished then start the next one. We would strip the wallpaper in the dining room and start going through the closets and the basement. Then we would tackle the building out back. Oh, yes...I had big plans.
\n\n\nInstead, I’ve done very little. I’ve kept us fed. I’ve taken care of the things that need taken care of to survive day to day. I’ve written my blog and kept in touch with my people. I spend a great deal of time doing nothing more than resting with Mr. FixIt. We’ve been watching West Wing and it’s been fun introducing him to that. He never watched it when it was on the air.
\n\n\nI was feeling like I should be doing more. Then I remembered what my grief was like seven years ago. It was a lot like this. Not in intensity, to be sure. But the same malaise is there. The same uncertainty. The same unsettled undercurrent of sadness and longing. The thread of fear that I keep at bay with my trust in Jesus. This is the initial phase of a grief we all are feeling to one degree or another. We are letting it settle in.
\n\n\nIt’s ok that we don’t get a lot done right now. As we adjust, we’ll get more energy and be able to accomplish more. I learned this from before. Until then, self care is a good thing. We aren’t going anywhere...not for a while, anyway. We’ll get through this. I learned that, too.
\n\n\nToday is traditionally April Fools Day. Instead of foolishness, lets make it a day filled with kindness.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-04-01T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/04/01/day-is-it-allergiesor-is.html", "tags": ["Health","Grief","Prayer","Wisdom","Warning","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/03/31/day-glitter-virus-de-corona.html", "title": "Day 15: Glitter Virus de Corona", "content_html": "\n“do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
\nPhilippians 4:6-7 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/0816781bba.jpg\")
When Little was about six years old, she looked at me with adoring eyes every grandma swoons over and said, “You know Nana...I’m a maker, just like you!” (❤️MELT!) And, indeed she is. She is creative, artistic, witty, and an extraordinarily deep thinker. She is going to be thirteen in May, so she is currently in that stage where most adults fall in the idiot column. But, I have no doubt she will turn around someday and be my mini-me again.
\n\n\nI’m not sure who gave her the glitter, but being the artist she is, someone filled her up with a gigantic supply. Glitter. Beads. Markers. Paints. All manner of brushes and paper and canvas upon which to glue, smear, splash, and enjoy with great abandon. Which is exactly what she did. Daughter #1 had declared there will be no new carpet until Little goes away to college because she just cannot stomach the idea of MORE glitter.
\n\n\nThey have glitter everywhere. You cannot...can NOT...go into their house without getting glitter on you, no matter where you stand, sit, or lie down. Not matter how many times they vacuum, sweep, wipe, dust, or mop. It is impervious and permanent. I saw a meme the other day comparing coronavirus to glitter and it makes perfect sense.
\n\n\nLet’s say you go to Little’s house and get glitter on you, but you didn’t go to the bathroom so you don’t wash your hands and you’re in a hurry. You’re careful because you don’t touch your face so there’s no glitter there. You get in your car and stop at the gas station for gas. You go inside to buy a soda and a candy bar. You can’t decide which candy bar you want. You pick up one and read the calorie count and put it down. By the third or fourth bar, you realize they all have roughly the same calorie count so you put it back and go pick out a piece of fruit. you squeeze a couple of apples and an orange and finally choose a banana. You open the cooler and pull out a soda. then, at the last minute, you think, “Maybe I should have water instead. I’m having fruit, after all.” You put the soda back, grab a water and go up to the counter and pay.
\n\n\nYou pull out the money for your purchase and pay, throwing the change down into the bottom of your purse. You head back out to the car and drive to the post office, the bank, the vet, the hair salon, and make a final stop at Walmart. Somewhere in there, you have washed your hands at least once or twice. But every time you got back in the car or picked up your keys or drank out of that soda or ate that banana or opened your car door...you got glitter on you again. And, every time you touched something that others will touch, you leave glitter that they pick up and carry with them.
\n\n\nWe have all had experience with the persistence of glitter...be it an art project or a Christmas card. Once you get it on you, you have to work at it to get rid of it. The same thing goes for a bacteria or virus. The only thing is, you can’t see them so that makes them even more nefarious.
\n\n\nWe are all going through various stages of grief over this pandemic and will continue to do so over the coming weeks and months. The enormity of the changes this will bring has only just begun to settle around the edges of my mind in the last few days. Beyond the actual virus and potential illness itself lies uncertainty I am beginning to uncover within myself. Humans are creatures of habit and change doesn’t always come easy to some. But, change is my middle name and all those changes that were thrust upon me in grief are tools for this toolbox as well.
\n\n\nRemember when you do have to go out...think of all that glitter you could be picking up. Keep used grocery bags in your car to use as emergency “gloves” for opening doors and pumping gas. Carry a container of your own wipes with you. And keep washing your hands...a lot. I have been reading rumblings they may be seeing evidence of the flattening of the curve which means the social distancing thing is working. Let’s hope so because there are a lot of hospitals already working at capacity.
\n\n\nKeep all the helpers in your prayers. They need us...now more than ever!
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-03-31T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/03/31/day-glitter-virus-de-corona.html", "tags": ["Health","Overcoming Obstacles","Wisdom","Warning","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/03/29/day-say-his-namenot-in.html", "title": "Day 13: Say His Name...Not in Vain", "content_html": "\n“So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, \"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.\" Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
\n2 Corinthians 12:7-10 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/e06a255861.jpg\")
I was reading my devotional yesterday morning. I have to admit, I haven’t been as focused on my Bible reading as I should be as my attention is being drawn in every different direction. Now, more than at any other time...NOW is the most important time to sit with God and have those deep conversations that can bring such peace to a weary heart. So, I’m trying harder to corral my wandering ADD spirit and rein it back in.
\n\n\nYesterday’s devotion focused on Exodus 20:7...
\n\n\n\n\n\n\n“You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain, for the Lord will not hold him guiltless who takes his name in vain.”
\nExodus 20:7 ESV\n
If your grandma was like my grandma, you remember what happened if the exclamation “Oh, my God!” slipped out. You might have found yourself with a sliver of soap in your mouth or a swat on the behind...or worse, the shame of disappointing your favorite champion.
\n\n\nAs I got older and thought I was oh-so-wise, I drifted away from that fuddy-duddy old church because I thought I knew better than they did. I was crude and crass and ugly in many, many ways. And OMG slipped out as easily as far too many other epithets. My ears burn when I think of the things my children heard coming out of my mouth. Eventually, I woke up and got it together. But I still relate Exodus 20:7 to using the Lord’s name to swear. That is, until I read my devotional yesterday morning.
\n\n\nIsn’t it wonderful when you read a verse you’ve read a hundred times and it suddenly means something completely different?
\n\n\nThe premise is this:
\n\n\nWhen we become a Christian, we take on God’s name and wear it as our identity. If we do not “walk the talk”, our behavior doesn’t reflect what we are proclaiming with our mouths. In this way, we take the name of the Lord in vain because we aren’t being honest...with Him, with each other, and with ourselves. I found that to be an interesting perspective and thought I would share it with you today.
\n\n\nChurch is still online. I read something the other day that said this time of working remotely may change the way we do business in the future. We used to think going to the office was the best way. But maybe it isn’t. Maybe if more people can work remotely, pollution can be cut down which would positively impact our environment. I don’t know about teaching at home...especially for young children. Learning socialization skills is just as important as math and spelling.
\n\n\nOne thing that won’t be replaced is gathering together in places of worship. I’ve enjoyed hearing my pastor online, but it just cannot replace the community bond of corporate worship. We will continue to learn and grow and evaluate what changes we can make in our way of life that will better the world. There will always be resistance to change, but change can be for our own as well as the greater good.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-03-29T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/03/29/day-say-his-namenot-in.html", "tags": ["Faith","Positive Energy","Growth","Grace","God","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/03/28/day-when-it-rains-it.html", "title": "Day 12: When it Rains, it Rains and Rains and Rains!", "content_html": "\n“Who can discern his errors? Declare me innocent from hidden faults.”
\nPsalms 19:12 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/ba2cb99b24.jpg\")
We are heading into what is one of the wettest times of the year in West Virginia. At the same time, the temperature is beginning to rise and that combo is what wakes up the grass and gets it growing. Every spring there are funny memes of people trying to mow the lawn in scuba gear. Sometimes it’s hard to get the garden plowed if you didn’t jump on it in early March. Then you have to wait for it to dry so you can plant. I’m not complaining, mind you. At least we aren’t planning to have more snow or hard freezes at this point like what I was used to in Colorado.
\n\n\nWith the pandemic, and the resultant shock waves going through the economy, it looks like we may be staying put here for a while. If I am anything, it’s flexible. And Lord knows we are all going to need to embrace that trait in the foreseeable future. We are blessed with a home and land and safety. There’s no need to rush into anything right now. Besides, that will take the pressure off and we can take our time fixing this place up.
\n\n\nWith all that in mind, Mr. FixIt and I have been talking about having a bigger garden here at The Ponderosa. I’m picking up a case of canning jars every time I go to the store. I bought a new gasket (plus a spare) for the pressure canner. One of the problems with growing a garden in the country is the wildlife that stand around waiting for the salad bar to open. We have tons of rabbits and they eat my green beans every year. We also have deer. In the past, Mr. FixIt grew a big garden here and used an electric fence to keep the deer out. I’ve been looking at a setup like the one pictured above...at least for the salad stuff that the rabbits get into. I don’t know how big we’ll actually go, but I really like the idea of the raised beds. It’s better on your back.
\n\n\nA couple of years ago, we bought a shaded gazebo for the deck by the pool. We didn’t put it up last summer because we thought we would be pushing to get the house on the market and wanted to save it for the new house. Since that isn’t happening right away, I think we’ll go ahead and do that when the weather clears up a bit. There’s still the bathroom to finish. And the drain at the bottom of the outdoor stairwell to enlarge and install a sump pump. And then the second bathroom and the wallpaper in the dining room needs to come off. The list goes on and on. I’m hoping when the pandemic eases and gathering restrictions are lifted, we can get the boys out here to help us get some of these big jobs completed.
\n\n\nAs I sit here in our home, safe and secure, and for all I know...healthy and virus free...I count my many blessings. As of this writing, no one I know is affected by the virus itself...just the inconvenience of isolation. I’ve been video chatting with the family. I pray a lot...every day. I limit myself to NBC Nightly News with Lester Holt...thirty minutes with an uplifting story at the end. It’s all I can take.
\n\n\nThe other night, when I was admittedly overdosing on news and watching every update, I was sitting here writing my post and all of a sudden, I just went numb. My hearing was muffled. My skin was tingling. My heart was pounding. I wasn’t necessarily frightened. I didn’t feel the surge of adrenalin like I usually feel if I’m having an anxiety reaction or panic attack. I felt detached...like a casual observer. My inner spirit told me what was happening. I was overwhelmed. I was grieving. I’ve been passively watching life as we’ve known it fall apart and it felt way too familiar. I closed my eyes and leaned back and listened to my body cry out to me for mercy. So, I talked back. I soothed my fear. I reminded myself that God is still here...He is always here. I concentrated on my breathing and feeling the air as it moved in and out of my nostrils. I reminded myself I was safe here. Nothing was happening to me in this moment. Mr. FixIt was safe, too. I reminded myself that, even though there are so many things going on right now that are out of my control, there are still many things I can do to feel more at ease.
\n\n\nWhen people tell you to just count your blessings, they aren’t necessarily trying to be dismissive of your fear. I have found the action of actually counting my blessing to be soothing. Directing your thoughts to something in the here and now can get you off the runaway train of fear. Looking around the room and naming five things. Closing your eyes and counting five sounds...five smells...five textures can bring you down off the ledge of anxiety. As I went through this exercise, I could feel the numbness leave and my heart rate slowed down. My hearing came back clear and I was fine.
\n\n\nI may have to talk myself down off the ledge any number of times in the coming weeks. I don’t know. What I do know is...we are ok. We are safe. We are here. And, we are planning a garden for when the brighter days come.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-03-28T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/03/28/day-when-it-rains-it.html", "tags": ["Faith","Grief","Hope","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Wisdom","Humbled","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/03/26/day-remember-the-good-ol.html", "title": "Day 10: Remember the Good Ol’ Days?", "content_html": "\n“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you.”
\nIsaiah 43:2 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/cef1f2a991.jpg\")
When someone says “Remember the good ol’ days?” now, they could just as easily be referring to last month than 100 years ago. Remember when we could go out to the movies? Remember when we could eat at restaurants? I love reminiscing and looking at old photos like this one. It reminds me of what they called “a simpler time”. But was it, really?
\n\n\nLook at this kitchen. That stove didn’t get started with the turn of a knob. Someone had to cut, haul, and chop wood. They had to split kindling and stack it all near the back door. This was done every day or you ate cold food. With those boots under the stove, I’d say there are some hard working men and boys in that house and they eat a ton of food. That woman is cooking three squares and baking all her own bread and biscuits. She had to tend a garden, preserve the food, store it properly. Hopefully there are a couple of other young girls around to help with the washing and cleaning and all the other jobs on the farm.
\n\n\nI believe that is the family “washing machine” the woman is using. This must have been an incredible convenience item to relieve her of scrubbing heavy wet work clothes on a washboard. The water had to be toted from the well, stream, cistern, or spring. It had to be heated in large pots on that stove. She had to save up the ash from the wood stove to make lye. She also saved the lard from butchering and rendered it for use in baking, cooking, and making assorted salves and soaps.
\n\n\nThat woman was the family doctor. She gathered herbs and medicinal plants, using knowledge handed down from generation to generation. She may have been the only midwife in a twenty mile radius. She milked the dairy cow out behind the barn...twice a day...and raised the cream to churn butter. Her sewing rocker is in the kitchen. Here is where she read her bible as the biscuits rose. She sewed and mended her family’s clothing to conserve them for longer wear. When they couldn’t be mended anymore, she cut them up and sewed the pieces together to make quilts.
\n\n\nThere wasn’t a lot of socializing in this day and age. There might be women who gathered for a quilting bee or to throw a wedding or a funeral. A woman valued those precious moments she shared with other women. The children were sent out of the house after breakfast and they came home at supper time. They walked to church and the one room schoolhouse down the road....maybe miles away. Or, if they were really lucky, they might have a horse or two...or maybe even a wagon for when they needed to make longer trips.
\n\n\nI show pictures like this to my grandkids and they just stare at it like it’s an alien planet. I was looking at the woman in the picture. My first thought was, this is the grandma. And, it could be. But I wouldn’t doubt it a bit if that’s the mom. All that hard work and all those babies made the womenfolk age well beyond their years.
\n\n\nI would never call this “a simpler time” in regard to the work that was put in on a daily basis. Yet, compared to the manic hustle most people live with today, I would say it is simpler in many ways. I had to smile the other day. Daughter #2, who showed very little interest in learning anything “old timey” when she was growing up called to say this pandemic has made her think about her life and how she’s living it. She wants to raise a garden. She would like to learn how to be more self-sufficient. Her mama is SO excited by this!!! I sent her pictures of the Encyclopedia of Country Living and the Ball Book of Food Preservation. This is a common ground I have longed to share with my kids.
\n\n\nThis pandemic is scary as heck. And it’s shaken many of us to the core. But, as I’ve been saying from the beginning, there will be gems in the flames of this. There will be great sadness, and there will also be great revolution. I hope we have awakened a sleeping giant.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-03-26T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/03/26/day-remember-the-good-ol.html", "tags": ["Family","Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","Growth","Comfort","Wisdom","Courage","Humbled","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/03/25/day-kindness-changes-everything.html", "title": "Day 9: Kindness Changes Everything", "content_html": "\n“The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.”
\nProverbs 16:9 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/e74abd4db7.jpg\")
If there was ever a time to be kind, it is now. Under normal, everyday circumstances the emotional climate would be highly individualized. These people happy, these people sad. These people stressed, these people relaxed. There would be clusters of people sharing the same emotions surrounding a particular event like a wedding, a death, a concert, a family gathering. Never in our lifetime has there been such a global group of people sharing the same emotional event at the same time. For those of us who can easily pick up on the vibes of others, this feels like having your brain in a frying pan set on high. Those of us who have gone through it know this feeling. It has a name. Grief.
\n\n\nNeedless to say, everyone is living with a heightened set of emotions. We are all experiencing grief in a collective way. Whether you are fearful, anxious, filled with dread. Or resolved, determined, keeping calm and carrying on. All of these states of being are emotionally taxing and make burnout a very real possibility. This elevation of being can make us respond and relate in ways that are totally unexpected and unlike the person we really are.
\n\n\nThat’s why we saw people getting in fights over toilet paper last week. It was crazy to us...but it was perfectly rational to those people who were in the moment. I think we all need to step back and breathe a little. Do a little meditation. Do a little yoga. Say a little prayer. Light a candle. Take a bubble bath. Drink a nice cup of tea. Go for a walk. I know I’m being repetitive here and I’ve said these things before, but I can’t reiterate enough how important it is to practice self care when you grieve.
\n\n\nIf we burn ourselves out now, we aren’t going to have the energy to fight anything that’s coming our way. We need to be our healthiest selves. We need to focus on eating good, immune boosting foods. We need to avoid lots of empty calories like sugar and alcohol. We need to resist the temptation to zone out till it all passes over...immersed in junk TV and junkier food.
\n\n\nAbove all, we need to practice kindness...to each other, and to ourselves. Kindness goes a long way toward soothing ragged nerves. West Virginia’s numbers doubled yesterday. And there’s a case in Wood County now, so it’s here. My stepson calls us every day to check in. He’ll pick up whatever we need and bring it out to us. We have two medical appointments...one tomorrow, one Thursday...and then we are home for a solid week. We are taking every precaution.
\n\n\nI find I’m not accomplishing what I thought I would do. I have yet to start stripping the wallpaper in the dining room. I haven’t started sorting through papers or getting rid of junk. I’ve been binge-watching West Wing with Mr. FixIt and staying to maintain social distance from the refrigerator. I resisted baking again today, but we have some rapidly browning bananas so I’m going to be forced to do something with them because I don’t want them to go to waste.
\n\n\nHere’s your helpful hint for today:
\n\n\nJust because the IRS has postponed the filing date to July 15th for federal taxes does not necessarily mean your state has followed suit. As a matter of fact, there are very few states that have. As of this writing, West Virginia has maintained April 15th. Since we have to file state, we might as well file federal at the same time. It’s my goal to get that done next week.
\n\n\nHere is a link to TurboTax with an explanation.
\n\n\nHang in there, dear ones. It’s about to get bumpy...but we can get through this. Whatever your faith or inclination...be it prayer or good thoughts or positive energy...keep sending it. We need all the help we can get!
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n\n“Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.”
\nRomans 12:12 ESV\n
#Hope, #Trials, #COVID19
\n\n", "date_published": "2020-03-25T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/03/25/day-kindness-changes-everything.html", "tags": ["Faith","Health","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/03/24/day-this-little-piggy-stayed.html", "title": "Day 8: This Little Piggy Stayed Home", "content_html": "\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/7e9ddfdb8d.jpg\")
We had to go out again yesterday...this time to a doctor visit. The news was good...Mr. FixIt has a heart! And it’s in pretty good shape for a guy his age. After Losing Mr. Virgo to a sudden heart attack, and then Mr. FixIt had the stroke...I pretty much insisted they do a cardiac work up. We are breathing an even bigger sigh of relief over here.
\n\n\nThe governor of West Virginia ordered us to “stay-at-home” beginning this evening. Except for the doctor, the emergency room, the grocery or pharmacy, gas stations, construction stores...you know, all the places we normally gone anyway. He even said it was fine to go to the state parks and go fishing! Other than restaurants, not much has changed as far as where we are allowed to go. What HAS changed is the going.
\n\n\nI was thinking about this yesterday. What is it about being told to do something, like stay at home, and the only thing in the whole wide world you want to do is NOT stay at home. BUT...have a busy week of running errands and having appointments and the only thing you want is to just have a day at home with no trips to town. It’s crazy. It’s like being told to take a nap as a toddler. Now I’d give up a lot just to take a nap!
\n\n\nGovernors are resorting to this extra measure because just telling people to stay home wasn’t working. Because there’s an inordinate amount of people who think rules don’t apply to them. They are merely suggestions...more like guidelines, really. They say you can get a ticket if you’re out and about but I ask you, what good would that do when all you have to say is -I’m going to the grocery store-?
\n\n\nDaughter #2 is an anxious sort. She is so much like her mama in so many ways. I wish I could have given my kids anything but anxiety and depression. It is what it is. She called last evening and I recognized that quivering “I’m fine” tone of voice. So, I talked her down off the ledge and she felt stronger and more in control by the time we rang off. We talked about everything...from ways to conserve toilet paper to what was the name of that book you were telling me about.
\n\n\nWe talked about making plans and writing them down. What do you want to accomplish this week? This month? Six months? A year? She wants to be more self-sufficient so she doesn’t have to worry so much. Good. Check with the City of Denver...can you have chickens? Look for used pallets you can turn into a chicken coop. You want a garden? Great! Start planting seeds in peat pots so you’ll have seedlings to plant when the weather warms up. Mark out where you want a garden and get your exercise spading it up.
\n\n\nWe have to be proactive regarding our mental health during crises such as this. Just because we need to stay at home doesn’t mean we need to stay inside 24/7. Even if you only walk around your house or your building or down your block and back, getting some fresh air in the middle of the day does wonders for your spirits. Build a routine. Set your clock for mental health breaks. Drink a cup of soothing herbal tea. Play some music and sing along. Take a bubble bath. Draw a picture. If you sew, look up how to make masks for people since there is a critical shortage.
\n\n\nYou might want to practice a little social distancing from your refrigerator. Packing on a few pounds during this quarantine won’t help your health and you certainly won’t feel better. Try on a pair of jeans every few days to make sure they fit. As my dear friend Deneene says, sweats or pajama pants will trick you into believing all is well in the kingdom. I was going to make an apple pie last night, but then I decided not to. We had already had two pies in the last ten days. I’ve been losing weight and I don’t want to put it back on. We can have treats...just once or twice a week, not every day.
\n\n\nHumans are a resourceful lot. We can figure out other ways to do things. We can make something out of nothing. We can recycle, reuse, repurpose just about anything. We’ve become pretty complacent in this life. I know I have. But, my years of reading Mother Earth News and the Encyclopedia of Country Living have been preparing me for a moment such as this. Some of us may not get through this. Those of us that do must take it upon themselves to apply the lessons learned so that we might not be caught so flat-footed next time. When I meditated on this last night, a thought came to me.
\n\n\nMy friend Uma Girish was preparing to facilitate a group call when she asked her inner guidance what she should share. This is what she received:
\n\n\n“The virus is not the enemy. The virus is The Messenger.”
\n\n\nYes...the virus can be horrifying. Yes...people can and will die. But it brings us a message...loud and clear.
\n\n\nRaise your head and look beyond where you stand so you might better prepare for what is coming.
\n\n\nRemember what is really important in this life.
\n\n\nLook at what we are doing to our world...to the environment. We are slowly killing it and now...it is rapidly attacking us.
\n\n\nFor every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Cause and effect. I don’t think it’s too late, but we’re going to have to make some big changes and we all know...while change is good, it is not always easy. Change, we must. We have no other choice now.
\n\n\nMaybe God’s just putting us in a time out so we can think about what we have done to the garden He gave us.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-03-24T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/03/24/day-this-little-piggy-stayed.html", "tags": ["Faith","Health","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Growth","Gratitude","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/03/21/day-five-love-in-the.html", "title": "Day Five: Love in the Time of CoVid", "content_html": "\n“Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”
\nPhilippians 2:4 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/ce8f7636b7.jpg\")
Thankfully we didn’t need to venture to town yesterday. Instead, we took a drive over to the farm to check in. Oh...what an amazingly warm day it was. I actually saw the thermometer at 79! All was well at the home place. The daffodils are blooming as are the forsythia and the flowering quince. The irises are shooting their flat, sword-like blades out from the wet, awakening earth. As you drive out through the country, the bushes along the roadsides are gaining a green, ghostly hue as the leaves begin to form.
\n\n\nThis is rockslide season and we saw evidence of several...one was actually encroaching on the road. The highway crew hadn’t gotten to it yet. It is supposed to get chilly again this weekend and then I wouldn’t be surprised if we stay in the high 50’s, low 60’s for a while. I don’t think there’s much of a chance of having another freeze this spring.
\n\n\nSpeaking of spring, with all the madness going on in the world, I totally missed the first day of spring! It’s here...even though it is highly overshadowed this time.
\n\n\nI read something yesterday that someone shared. It was a letter to the humans from the vantage point of the CoVid-19 virus. It spoke of how we haven’t been paying attention. We have been so busy chasing after stuff and working to achieve a lifestyle that is unsustainable, that finally the earth broke. There were horrific wildfires and we looked on with morbid curiosity and counted our blessings it wasn’t us. There were deadly hurricanes and we sighed and looked on with a tinge of sadness at the devastation. Then our attention shifted elsewhere and the thoughts and prayers were replaced with the next thing in the news cycle.
\n\n\nWe as a people are so self-centered. We look out for number one. Maybe, just maybe this virus swooped in to get our attention...to wake us up to the devastation around us. To how unhealthy the world has become. And if the world is unhealthy, WE are unhealthy.
\n\n\nI saw a picture of a mega freeway in Los Angeles. There were eight cars on it. I think someone said it hadn’t seen that little traffic since the Watts Riots of 1965. I commented that maybe Mother Earth is going to be able to catch her breath. Maybe the skies will clear. Maybe the sun will shine a little brighter. Maybe the waters will freshen a little. Maybe the pH in the rain will normalize and the fish will flourish.
\n\n\nMaybe the quiet stillness will give us time to stop the frenetic pace we have set for ourselves and we can really connect with our family members...even if it’s through a window or over the phone or FaceTime. I’ve already noticed more caring for each other. Children are checking in with their parents to see how they’re doing. They are offering to run errands or go to the store. Strangers are helping strangers.
\n\n\nThis is a time like no other we have faced. But, our grandparents and great grandparents were called to war. They were bombed and food was rationed. They grew victory gardens and knitted socks for troops. All we are being asked to do is stay home. While the threat of the disease itself is terribly disconcerting, we can do things to help prevent the spread.
\n\n\nI’ve heard the youngsters say, “Ah, it’s not going to affect me. It’s just the Boomers.” Well, first of all, no. It’s not just the Boomers. They are finding people much younger than they first thought are getting sick and some seriously. And...who do you think those Boomers (and the generation or so after them) are? They are the doctors, scientists, financial wizards, farmers...the experts. The ones who hold the keys to a great deal of knowledge. Those who say they’re “just Boomers” had better learn a whole lot pretty darned quickly.
\n\n\nI’m having nightmares. I rarely remember dreams, but I’m having dreams of death and dying. Too much news. Too much information. I had to step back and stop watching as much of it. I have to limit myself to a half hour of news a day. Just to stay up to speed with any breaking news. To counteract the bombardment of bad news, I’m putting in twice as much good.
\n\n\nYesterday, I baked a pie. I went to the farm and sat in my grandma’s chair. I did an hour of meditation/yoga on Facebook Live with my dear Earth Mother yogi friend, Sue in Colorado. I snuggled the kitty. I walked around our property with Mr. FixIt. I made BBQ pulled pork sandwiches for supper and pie for dessert. And I spent time studying my bible devotionals. It was a good day...even though the virus is creeping closer.
\n\n\nMy God is bigger than any virus. He’s bigger than any of my stuff. When I remember who’s in charge here and how this story ends, even if I caught the virus and went to Heaven...I win. Because HE won...and I put my faith in HIM.
\n\n\nI will not be afraid.
\n\n\nI will not be afraid.
\n\n\nI will not be afraid.
\n\n\nYou can watch my friend Sue’s movement meditation video here.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-03-21T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/03/21/day-five-love-in-the.html", "tags": ["Health","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Positive Energy","West Virginia","Growth","God","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Choices","Change","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/03/18/keeping-our-distance-day.html", "title": "Keeping our Distance: Day 2", "content_html": "\n“Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.”
\nPsalms 19:14 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/c5f24f5d55.jpg\")
Honestly, our life here at The Ponderosa BCV (before Coronavirus) and ACV (after Coronavirus) isn’t that much different. That’s mainly because we are retired. I think we are affected more by Mr. FixIt’s continued recovery from his stroke than we are the global pandemic. We have been taking turns making breakfast. (He makes the BEST oats!)
\n\n\nUp until late afternoon, West Virginia was official the only state without a confirmed case of COVID-19. Governor Justice announce there has been on confirmed case over in the Eastern Panhandle. However, I have a friend from high school...a retired nurse. She says her son and daughter-in-law tested positive last week in Morgantown and it was never reported. So, who knows what’s really going on.
\n\n\nWest Virginia runs 50th in so many things, it looks like we are running 50th in the number of tests being performed as well. You know it has to be here. All we can to is practice good hygiene and social distancing.
\n\n\nThe garage called today and my truck was ready so we went to pick it up. While it took the guy a week-and-a-half to finish, it cost a third of what it would have at the dealership.
\n\n\nWe watched the news together, but only to hear if there are more directives. I baked a pie with some blackberries from the freezer and made a casserole of pork roast, veggies and noodles. We are determined to eat through all the fresh stuff before it goes bad so we don’t waste a thing.
\n\n\nAfter dessert, I excused myself to write my post. I sat and thought about what we should talk about tonight. Yesterday was St. Patrick’s Day. Mr. Virgo loved St. Patrick’s Day. Just about every year, I had to go buy green food coloring at the last minute so the bar could serve green beer. These memories make me smile. However, Mr. Virgo was buried the day before St. Patrick’s Day. And that always makes me think.
\n\n\nHe warned me before he died that bad things were going to start happening in this country. Things with politics, finances, and health. He said it felt like a rubber band was drawing too tight or like a balloon being overfilled. I don’t know if he had a premonition, or if it was just his love of history and world events that spurred him, but he was constantly telling me to be prepared.
\n\n\nI wanted to believe him, but it seemed so fantastical at the time. Still, his warnings have never left me and I do find myself more prepared than I might have been before. I have friends who have lost spouses in the last year....two in the last week. When I think back over the months after losing Mr. Virgo...it was so terribly difficult to cope. And that was in a stable world. I cannot imagine what these people are going through without their person. To try to navigate this AND actively grieve is an unbearable thought.
\n\n\nIt doesn’t just take a death to trigger grief. You may be grieving the loss of security the COVID-19 virus is bringing to our lives. When things happen beyond our control, it can trigger grief reactions and PTSD. When I begin to feel frightened, I change my focus back to God and remind myself...no matter what happens here, He will never leave me. Even with that, I walk around with a little knot in the pit of my stomach. I take all the unknowns that I have no control over and put them in the God box and set outside the front door.
\n\n\nAll in all, we are doing just fine. We’re just taking it one day at a time.
\n\n\nSo, how are things with you in your world. Are you feeling ok? What are you doing with your time? How have things changed for you in the last couple of weeks? Let me hear from you...tell me how you're doing.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-03-18T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/03/18/keeping-our-distance-day.html", "tags": ["Faith","Health","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Choices","Change","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/03/16/what-happens-if-nothing-happens.html", "title": "What Happens if Nothing Happens?", "content_html": "\n“Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”
\nPhilippians 2:4 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/d29ad2fc50.jpg\")
We’ve been listening intently to the news. We’ve followed every story, listened to every nightmarish tale, seen and heard things we wish we’d never seen or heard. We’ve pillaged the stores in a way that would make a Viking proud. We’ve hoarded toilet paper, hand sanitizer, gloves, masks, and cleaners. Our pantries are stocked with everything from diapers to donuts. We’ve got every medicine available for every eventuality. The schools are closed. The stores are cutting back hours to give the staff enough time to restock. The hospitals are rationing supplies and making contingency plans for every possible scenario. And so...we wait.
\n\n\nWe are socially distancing ourselves. We are staying home...away from crowds and germs. We are binge watching every series on Netflix that sparks our interest. We are learning new skills. We are putting away food and reading. We are checking in on those who might need our help. We are watching church online or on television. We are reaching out with phone calls and texts and, dare I say...handwritten letters.
\n\n\nAnd...we wait.
\n\n\nAnd wait some more.
\n\n\nWhat happens if...after we’ve waited and waited and sacrificed and been inconvenienced... What happens if...nothing happens? No big surge of disease. No drastic sudden influx of all these “hundreds of thousands of sick people?”
\n\n\nI’ll tell you what SHOULD happen. We should breathe a HUGE sigh of relief because it means what we did...WORKED. It means we flattened the curve. It means we sacrificed our usual routines and made the most of it and we saved countless lives.
\n\n\nI know there will be a bunch of us who do that very thing. We’ll high five and say “Well done!” We’ll thank everyone in healthcare and the service industries. We will do our best to boost up the mom and pop business that took a hit from the shutdowns. We will praise our health officials who made difficult and unpopular decisions. And hopefully, we’ll remember to thank God for never leaving us in our darkest hours.
\n\n\nIf we have an ounce of forethought...a shred of decency...a touch of humanity we WON’T be that person who stands up and screams that it was all a hoax. That the whole thing was conjured up to throw an election or to make any one person or party look bad. That is petty. We must be better than that.
\n\n\nIf we gain anything...just one tiny thing from this whole meshugas...it’s that we start looking for the humanity in each other again. We need to start finding love and kindness again. We need to remember...we may be different wings, but we’re flying the same bird here. Please, for the love of God...let’s turn something that’s potentially terrible into something that helps us see the divine in each other.
\n\n\nLet’s let the legacy of the coronavirus be compassion.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-03-16T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/03/16/what-happens-if-nothing-happens.html", "tags": ["Faith","Health","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","God","Wisdom","Courage","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/03/15/west-virginia-an-island-in.html", "title": "West Virginia: An Island in a Viral Land", "content_html": "\n“Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.”
\nColossians 3:12-15 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/d56113ec4a.jpg\")
I don’t know if you’ve seen the latest news regarding COVID-19 or not, but West Virginia has the distinction of being the last state without a confirmed case of this viral menace. We hillbillies are sitting over here thinking “Heck, yeah! We’ve been drinking water tainted with C8 all our lives. We’ve been mining coal and have black lung. We cut our teeth on moonshine and coffee. Of COURSE it’s not here!”
\n\n\nYeah, well...not so fast. What that map says is “confirmed” cases. You can’t find a virus if you aren’t getting tested for it and, since West Virginia ranks 50th in most things, it’s only natural we wouldn’t be on the top of the list for getting truckloads of tests delivered. There are other reasons there is a hole in the map.
\n\n\nWest Virginians are a solitary people for the most part. Our “social distancing” is created by hills and hollers and long, winding country roads. And, given the demographics, we are far less likely to participate in overseas travel...or much of any travel, for that matter. Except for the OBX and Myrtle Beach, the average West Virginian may not have traveled more than a couple hundred miles from home in their entire lives.
\n\n\nAnd, let’s be honest here. West Virginia is beautiful, but there is a reason game shows don’t give away trips to the Mountain State. We are mostly rural farmlands and mountains and, while there is a lot to do here, people are not beating a path to our door. I think we kind of like it that way.
\n\n\nThe down side of this is, West Virginia is a poor state. Access to adequate healthcare can be difficult in rural areas. We are high on the obesity and chronic disease charts. Drug use and smoking are rampant. We’re low on the education and the income charts. But, I’ll tell you what we DO have.
\n\n\nWe’ve got grit. Determination. We take care of each other. We pull together in times of trouble. These things go a long way in a crisis. Yesterday, as I was working in the kitchen, it occurred to me...
\n\n\nWe know how to DO stuff. We know how to garden, raise animals, preserve food, build shelter, hunt for food. As my cousin Valerie said yesterday, “I feel like I’ve been training for this my whole life!” She’s right, you know. We have.
\n\n\nI grew up spending a great deal of time at my Grandma’s house. I learned how to can and cook by watching her. I got out of practice when I lived a cushy life in Colorado, but it’s like riding a bicycle...you never forget once you’ve learned. I was working around the house on Friday when my good friend Diane called to say the local grocery store was still well stocked, but at soon as folks from town learned about it, they would descend on it. So if I needed anything, I’d better go.
\n\n\nI’ve still had a few nagging thoughts that maybe we didn’t have quite enough to get by. The unknown factor here is just how long we may have to hunker down. And, what if the elderly people out the road need some soup or something? I really wanted to add a few things to our larder, so I made a quick trip to “the Pig.”
\n\n\nWhen I got home, I finally felt secure that we have what we need. Other than milk, we shouldn’t have to make a trip to the store for 2-3 weeks. That sounds good to me. I bought a couple roasts. I cut one up in cubes and put up ten quarts of vegetable beef soup. That’s always a good thing to have around. I have flour and yeast to bake bread if we need it. I got another large package of hamburger and divided it into portions for the freezer. I saved out enough to make a batch of taco meat. That is great in tacos and on salads and burritos. And, I baked a big pork roast. Just the roast alone will feed us for several days.
\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/e8be5f158a.jpg\")
As I ladled the hot soup into jars, I thought of the younger generations. Unless they are raised in the country, they likely have not learned vital survival skills. When I raised my girls, I didn’t teach them these things because we lived in town. I didn’t think they would need to know how to raise and preserve their own food. And, hopefully they won’t. But at least they should know how to if the time should come and their lives depend on it.
\n\n\nI searched the internet for some good resources for those who need/wish to learn basic survival skills. Back when I was an avid reader of Mother Earth News and a wannabe farmer, I lived on two acres and had a huge garden. Here are a couple really good books I depend on when I need to know how to do something. And a website that deals with natural remedies. (Note: These are things I use personally. I am not a physician or an expert in the field of natural remedies. Any decisions to follow any of these recommendations are your own responsibility.)
\n\n\n\n\n\nComplete Book of Home Preserving (400 Delicious and Creative Recipes for Today)
\n\n\n\n\n\nThis is a time of uncertainty. We can succumb to fear, or we can use this as an opportunity to hunker down and get some things done. Do a deep cleaning at home. It’s time for that spring cleaning anyway. Learn a new skill like knitting or quilting or canning. Get in touch with your faith. Meditate. Plow up a garden or prepare some big pots for veggies. Plant seeds in trays to grow your own seedlings for your garden. Paint a room...or two. Clean out that garage or basement. Gather things to be ready to donate them when you venture out again.
\n\n\nI read something yesterday that really hit home. @mattdpearce on Twitter posted:
\n\n\n“I imagine all the closures give people a sense of ominousness. But it’s really an amazing act of social solidarity: We’re sacrificing so we can give nurses, doctors and hospitals a fighting chance. Start from there and hopefully we can figure out the rest.”
\n\n\nIf any of your people are in the medical profession, do whatever you can to help them. Check in on the elderly and infirm. Watch out for your neighbors. Let’s all be good humans.
\n\n\nI know it can be frightening when we feel out of control, so look for the ways you DO have control. Social distancing, self-isolation, and good hand washing. and all these other things I’ve recommended. Let’s flatten the curve!
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-03-15T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/03/15/west-virginia-an-island-in.html", "tags": ["Health","West Virginia","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/03/10/panic-at-the-grocery.html", "title": "Panic! At the Grocery", "content_html": "\n“And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.”
\nPhilippians 4:19 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/4bceb923c1.jpg\")
Yesterday was so great. It started out with an MRI that took for-ev-er but was really pretty easy, as far as those things go. Poor Mr. FixIt has claustrophobia so he has to be medicated to have an MRI. He wasn’t always like that. He has worked in a field where he needed to crawl into tight places to work and design better ways of doing things. But when he had an MRI, the technician told him to just yell if he had any trouble. He started getting panicky and yelled, but the guy didn’t answer so he climbed out of the machine. That was the end of that...it’s either meds or alcohol. Take your pick.
\n\n\nOut of all the things that frighten me, an MRI just isn’t one of them. Partly because I worked in the medical field for so long, I have a healthy understanding of how it all works. And partly because I am extremely good at creative visualization. I can picture myself anywhere else...clearly. As the MRI machine roared to life with that knocking and banging and whirring, it reminded me of that time I got to run a bulldozer. My cousin’s husband was building a cabin up on a mountain and had to bring his dozer down. (It’s called walking it down, even though you are driving it.) That was truly one of the coolest things I have ever done and I spent the whole MRI envisioning it.
\n\n\nI needed to have a lot of scans then they pulled me out of the machine, gave me an injection of Gallium (a mild radioactive substance mixed with iodine that made a bee-line for my thyroid to light it up), then they put me back in to finish the scan. The technician remarked that I was holding so still and I was so calm. She wanted to know my secret. I told her I was bulldozing the lot where we’re going to build our new house. She looked at me and laughed and told me she had never heard that one before. I’m sure not! I’m quirky that way. lol
\n\n\nWhen I was finally finished with the scan and we had a healthy breakfast in us, we ran some errands. One stop was Sam’s Club. We did our “prepper run” last week when we bought a bunch of meat and packaged it up for the freezer and a bunch of canned and dry goods for the pantry. I tried to buy some toilet paper last week but Mr. FixIt reminded me we had a full bulk pack we haven’t even opened yet, as well as several other rolls. He convinced me we didn’t need more.
\n\n\nBut yesterday, he and I almost came to blows in the toilet paper aisle at Sam’s because I felt absolutely compelled to buy more toilet paper. His solid reasoning and calm demeanor finally convinced me to let go of the package, but ohhhhhh....I really, REALLY wanted to buy that and I couldn’t for the life of me tell you why. I just NEEDED it. Then, I came across this great article explaining exactly WHY I wanted to buy that toilet paper and I was reassured of two things. I’m not crazy. And, I have a very cool headed husband I need to listen to when the panic starts to seep in.
\n\n\nYou can read that article HERE.
\n\n\nWhen we were finished shopping, we went to City Park and walked 1.25 miles. It was 72℉ out and sunny. What an absolutely stellar day! The spring flowers are just starting to bloom, the trees are budding, and I’ve even heard peepers. (Although, someone has put in a double wide on the lot next to our property. There used to be an old pond out there and they filled it in to make enough yard around the house. I’m so afraid that has wiped out a whole colony of my favorite little frogs.)
\n\n\nHome, played with the kitty, made a pot of chili and apple crisp, and watched The Voice. It was really a great day...and I didn’t succumb to the panic surrounding the Coronavirus. Just keep washing those hands!
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-03-10T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/03/10/panic-at-the-grocery.html", "tags": ["Health","Overcoming Obstacles","Wisdom","Fear","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/03/06/its-feel-good-fridaylets-get.html", "title": "It’s “Feel Good Friday”...Let’s Get Moving!", "content_html": "\n“He sent out his word and healed them, and delivered them from their destruction.”
\nPsalms 107:20 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/2fa77276e6.jpg\")
Three years ago, I went on a health improvement journey. I did great! I lost forty-five pounds or so. I got lean and strong and fit. I was eating clean and green. I could walk a flight of 176 stairs nine times without huffing and puffing. Mr. FixIt and I started dating. I did really well the first year keeping up with my diet and exercise. Then, winter set in, I started knitting full time, and my dear friend Janine said, “Write your book! You can knit at the book signings!”
\n\n\nThat motivated me to sequester myself and write like crazy. The byproduct, besides a nearly finished book was...a bigger behind from sitting and writing and eating. Those of you who know the yo-yo diet sequence understand how hard it is to jump back on the bandwagon when you’ve fallen off hard. I was feeling defeated and discouraged but I didn’t have much time to sit and cry about it. 2019 was one of my busiest travel and writing years I’ve ever had.
\n\n\nOne of the side effects of letting your health take a back seat is, things sneak up on you on quiet stocking feet. They tiptoe in and sit down. You hardly notice they’re there till enough of them come and pretty soon, you’ve got a LOT of things going on. Mine started with a sharp pain in my left foot at the base of my middle toe. Gradually it moved on down toward the little toe. Then, it moved to my left calf muscle. It felt like I had torn the muscle in half. The next day it would be gone and my right foot would hurt. Eventually it was my left hip, then my right elbow, then back to the left foot. It was crazy!
\n\n\nMy doctor sent me to a podiatrist, but I didn’t go till after the big camping extravaganza was over. I had an MRI, x-rays, lab tests. Nothing. No one had answers and I stopped talking about it because I figured it must be in my head. When Mr. FixIt had his stroke a couple of weeks ago and my blood pressure shot up, I thought I should make an appointment with the nurse practitioner to get it checked. It had been twenty years since I had any trouble with BP and I just wanted to make sure it was just stress related and would go down...or need treatment.
\n\n\nThe nurse practitioner asked me what kind of stress I was experiencing. I told her about Mr. FixIt, and the busy travel year, and all the writing, and the pain. Her ears perked up.
\n\n\n“Pain? Where? How long have you had it?”
\n\n\nI pooh-poohed the whole thing because, seriously, what could possibly cause pain that migrates everywhere on a daily basis. She insisted on the details so I told her, but I was still dismissive. She said there are indeed things that can cause just those symptoms and she ordered a whole barrage of blood tests. Sure enough, there are some things out of whack. We still have to do some more tests, but on a preliminary basis, it looks like something going on with my thyroid. I need an MRI and they’re sending me to an Endocrinologist...a doctor who specializes in the endocrine system.
\n\n\nIn the meantime, I’ve been back on track with my diet for the last three weeks. No sugar, no gluten, intermittent fasting, and pretty much whatever I want to eat. I’ve lost about eight pounds already. We are both eating much, much better and I am following 99Walks...the program app that Girl Camper has teamed up with. It’s a membership walking program with teams and goals and rewards. I’m also keeping a food log on MyFitnessPal...another app I use daily.
\n\n\nWhile I was searching for a feel good story for today, I came across Joan MacDonald. Joan was 70 years old and 200 pounds. She looked like me...grey hair, tired eyes, sallow skin....in other words...unhealthy. Joan’s daughter is a fitness trainer and yogi and she begged her mom to take charge of her health and turn things around. I watched my own mother fail physically and refuse to change things. I won’t be that way. I have SO much to be here for...I’ll be darned if I’m going to go out prematurely...unnecessarily.
\n\n\nJoan has given me a big shot in the arm. This isn’t vanity...this is an emergency. This is “Get it together, kiddo! You’re failing here!” It’s time to get serious, stay serious, and be the best I can be. Because...today? Today is the youngest I will EVER be again! How many “todays” do I have left? Check out Joan’s story HERE.
\n\n\nLet’s get up and go, my friends! It’s not only “Feel Good Friday”...it’s also “Fitness Friday!”
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-03-06T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/03/06/its-feel-good-fridaylets-get.html", "tags": ["Health","Positive Energy","Wisdom","Aging","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/03/05/shake-your-can.html", "title": "Shake Your Can", "content_html": "\n“Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well.”
\n3 John 1:2 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/5adbde9374.jpg\")
Last Sunday, our Pastor delivered another wonderful message. This time he was talking about how we can get flat and stale in our faith after time. We can become complacent and go to church simply to be fed every week. We can get comfortable. We may think, “I’m saved...I’m good. I don’t need to _________ (fill in the blank...serve, share, invite, get involved). We can do that, of course. But, we could be so much more if we just shook things up.
\n\n\nIf we wake it up and shake it up, God’s light in us will be so much brighter when we carry it out in the world. And, heaven knows...this world needs all the light it can get! The Pastor used a great visual. He had a can of soda in his hand when he asked a woman from the front row to come forward.
\n\n\nHe showed the woman the can.
\n\n\n“Are you afraid of this can?”
\n\n\n“No,” she said.
\n\n\nHe started shaking the can violently and poised to open it in front of her.
\n\n\n“How about now?”
\n\n\nThe woman laughed and took a few steps back.
\n\n\n“Yeah...I’m afraid of it now!”
\n\n\nHe made his point. The enemy doesn’t pay us much mind when we’re being complacent and doing enough to get by. He isn’t afraid of us. But shake us up and see what happens. That gets his attention because the last thing he wants is for us to be all up in it.
\n\n\nYou wanna make a difference in this world?
\n\n\nGet up and shake your can!
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-03-05T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/03/05/shake-your-can.html", "tags": ["Faith","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Wisdom","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/02/23/no-luxury-of-losing-it.html", "title": "No Luxury of Losing It", "content_html": "\n“Are not all angels ministering spirits sent to serve those who will inherit salvation?”
\nHebrews 1:14 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/5a66ca96ca.jpg\")
First, let me thank you for your prayers Friday night. This one was for us. My sweet Mr. FixIt had a stroke Friday night. It was mild, but concerning enough that he is in the hospital for a couple of nights for tests. My heart was pounding out of my chest and wave after wave of hot flushes rushed over me. Visions of the final trip to the ER with Mr. Virgo had me in a near panic.
\n\n\nI drove, maybe a little fast...but we got to the hospital in record time. It wasn’t the kind of medical emergency you need an ambulance for. He just had some numbness and tingling. It was more “let’s just go in and get this checked out to make sure everything is ok.” When they descended on Mr. FixIt and started all the medical stuff, I excused myself to the ladies room and threw up.
\n\n\nI didn’t have the luxury of losing it. My sweetheart knows these things scare the dickens out of me and he kept asking me if I was ok. I was honest.
\n\n\n“No, not at the moment. But I’m going to be.” I squeezed his hand and offered a brave smile.
\n\n\nI sent out the prayer request. (Thank you SO much for all your prayers!) I wrapped my arms around my sweet husband and prayed for us both. And I began to feel that sense of peace beyond all understanding.
\n\n\nGod didn’t mean for us to do the heavy lifting. He wants us to turn all things over to Him. When I sat there, I thought of all the people I know who have been through so many hard things lately. People I know and love. I took strength from their courageous fights. I felt a Legion of Angels around us from all the prayers.
\n\n\nWe waited, and waited, and waited for a room. Which almost always means we were waiting for the staff in the ER to find a moment between patients to get us upstairs. At one point, I thought if I could just get a blanket for him and turn off the lights, at least he would be able to get some sleep while we waited.
\n\n\nI went out to the desk and the tech said she was just coming to get us and take us to our room. Pretty soon, she came in and apologized. She said she had to go prepare a patient. Those of us who have worked in an ER know what that means. A patient had died and the family needed to come in to see their loved one. She was going to go make them presentable.
\n\n\nI didn’t say anything to Mr. FixIt as she left. I just held his hand a little tighter as my mind wandered to the day I was led in to see Mr. Virgo after they had made him “presentable” for me. I closed my eyes and said a prayer for the family who were about to have that horrible experience. I prayed that the Angels would come and wrap their wings around them and comfort them in their time of great heartbreak.
\n\n\nI patted Mr. FixIt’s hand and said, “It’s ok, babe. Someone else needs her more than we do right now. We’re ok.”
\n\n\nThank you, God. This could have been so much worse.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-02-23T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/02/23/no-luxury-of-losing-it.html", "tags": ["Faith","Health","Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Aging","Widow","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/02/20/the-running-of-the-bags.html", "title": "The Running of the Bags", "content_html": "\n“Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”
\n1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/c42a16769e.jpg\")
You’ve heard of “The Running of the Bulls?” Well, every year about this time, I participate in the running of the bags. I have got to be the world’s most disorganized person. Every year...every single year...I swear that THIS year will be different. And every year, I write this same post.
\n\n\nI’m pretty good for a few months. I keep track of things, I file papers where they belong, I download transactions and balance my checkbook. Then somewhere around June, life starts getting busy and things start going to heck in a hand basket. That’s when the tote bags come out of the closet.
\n\n\nOne by one, the tote bags fill up with important papers, package inserts, instruction manuals, greeting cards, phone charging cords, receipts...you know, the flotsam and jetsam of life. This was especially a problem this past year because I was gone a full four months and Mr. FixIt was left the unenviable job of taking care of everything around here on his own. It was a lot to ask, and he did a great job.
\n\n\nI was home alone yesterday while Mr. FixIt helped our grandson and his family move. I took advantage of the time to dig into the sacks of detritus one the hunt for my new debit card. It will expire at the end of the month so I had to find it ASAP. I spread piles of papers all over the living room...sorting and tossing and organizing. The card wasn’t in any of the bags.
\n\n\nI sat back and asked God to refresh my memory. I suddenly had a flash...I went back to our bedroom and lifted a sweater that was folded up and laying on the safe. And there it was...a small stack of mail I had moved off the bed when I was cleaning in there last month. I had totally forgotten it was there.
\n\n\nAs I wound up my work for the day, I decided I’ve been going at this all wrong. I’ve been beating myself up, year after year, for being so disorganized. Then I realized...I was perfectly organized. I had every paper I needed all in one place. I had the opportunity to go through it and place it all in neat piles that can now be filed away. And now, everything is fresh in my mind for doing taxes. I’ll count that as a win!
\n\n\nSee...it’s all a matter of how you look at things. If I look at it with a self-denigrating attitude, then I feel bad about myself. I feel inadequate and disorganized and lazy. But, if I look at it as keeping all the important things in one place so that when it’s time to do the important stuff with them, I’m on top of it. That makes me feel accomplished and capable and resourceful.
\n\n\nWe aren’t all gifted with a staff like Martha Stewart. We aren’t all capable of keeping color coded files all neat and tidy, day in and day out. Some of us are distracted by the sparklies. That’s what makes us interesting, right? I’ll keep working to become better at this because organization is actually biblical. I’ll also be a little nicer to myself when I don’t measure up to my own expectations.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-02-20T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/02/20/the-running-of-the-bags.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Wisdom","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/02/09/taking-a-stand-against-bullying.html", "title": "Taking a Stand Against Bullying", "content_html": "\n“But everything should be done in a fitting and orderly way.”
\n1 Corinthians 14:40 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/bd0d9ad5b6.jpg\")
Burger King recently released an anti-bullying video and it really hit home for me. It shows a young boy getting picked on in the fast food establishment and very few adults came to his defense. However, when the kitchen staff “bullied” their burgers, there were plenty of people standing up and demanding an un-assaulted sandwich. The dichotomy was remarkable.
\n\n\nI think it would be a rare thing to find someone who has never been a victim of bullying. There is a certain amount of teasing and hazing that goes on that is brushed off as kids figuring it out. And, it’s far too common that childhood teasing becomes a malignancy that spreads and causes great harm. From tender children to endangered seniors, no one seems to be immune from it.
\n\n\nIt needs to stop.
\n\n\nMy earliest memories of bullying came when one of my mom’s cousins babysat my brother and me. I was incessantly tormented by her teenagers and often was bruised...internally as well as visibly. I found it impossible to stand up for myself as I was so small and they were so big. The bullying I experienced at their hands certainly made me more empathetic to others.
\n\n\nIn the summer of my twelfth year, Mom let my brother and me stay home by ourselves while she worked. We were under the watchful eye of neighbors, as we all were back in the early ‘60s with stay-at-home moms in every other house. There was a boy in the home above us who heckled my differently-abled brother on occasion, but never within my hearing. One afternoon, I was carrying laundry out to hang on the line when I heard him teasing my Bubby. Fire went through me and I was out that door like a shot.
\n\n\nI snuck around behind the boy and just as he opened his mouth to call out nasty words about my sweet handicapped brother, I came up behind him and gave him a swift kick in the seat of his pants. He shot out between the hedges and rolled headlong down the bank to the sidewalk below. Bruised and bleeding, he got up and looked around for his attacker. I stood there, all of 70 pounds, hands on my hips and fire in my eyes, glaring down at him...daring him to say anything.
\n\n\nHe called out, “I’m telling my mom!”
\n\n\nI said, “You go right ahead! And if you ever do anything like that again to anyone...ESPECIALLY my brother...you’ll get it twice as hard from me! Do you hear me???”
\n\n\nHe ran off, and no one ever bothered my brother again. I wish I could have stood up for myself so well but for some reason, I never could.
\n\n\nAs an adult, I am always watching for signs of bullying. My older daughter had her mama’s chutzpah and did well at taking up for herself. I don’t recall ever having to step in for her much. But Daughter #2 was a target and I often had to go to the office or talk to a parent when things went too far.
\n\n\nTaking a stand in public with strangers takes a different kind of bravery. In this day and age, you don’t know who’s carrying a weapon or who might become violent if confronted. Still, I stand up to bullies. Mr. FixIt will tell you. I intervene whenever I can.
\n\n\nI’m happy to see more companies stepping up and addressing bullying because in the current state of our country, there seems to be much more bravado in that regard.
\n\n\nEverything boils down to living like Jesus. We cannot tolerate bullying and live like Jesus. I won’t tolerate a bully...I don’t care who it is.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-02-09T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/02/09/taking-a-stand-against-bullying.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/01/29/dear-reporterplease-dont-ask.html", "title": "Dear Reporter...Please Don’t Ask", "content_html": "\n“For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.”
\n2 Timothy 1:7 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/f55ca09188.jpg\")
I try to check in on my social media platforms at least once a day. Sometimes it is to answer questions or to acknowledge comments with a “❤️”. But, often it’s to check in on my own support systems. I have found a wonderfully loving and supportive grief community on Twitter, believe it or not. Something about Twitter’s 280 character limit keeps things short and to the point...little soundbites...little nuggets of truth from people who have been there, done that and are still upright.
\n\n\nI try not to get caught up in chasing rabbits when I check in because I could get lost in a serious time suck if I did. Then, there are times when something I come across really needs fleshing out. It came in the form of a telephone interview with Matt Mauser whose wife Christina was killed Sunday in the helicopter crash.
\n\n\nChristina was hand picked by Kobe to be the defense coach for Team Mamba, his own daughter’s basketball team. She was onboard and heading to a basketball game when the helicopter crashed killing all aboard. Matt and Christina have three children ages 11, 9, and 3.
\n\n\nAs Matt Mauser sat on the phone, waiting for the interviewer to do the lead-in, he was trying to maintain his composure, but as soon as he heard them speak his wife’s name, the tears threatened to spill over and you could hear his voice shake with emotion. As I listened, I thought to myself... “This can’t be good for him. This is going to be so, so hard.” It was. I couldn’t listen for long because after he fumbled around trying to put words together and express his feelings about raising three kids without a mom, the interviewer chimed in.
\n\n\nShe tried to commiserate. “There are no words, really” she said.
\n\n\n“Well, there are a lot of four-letter words I’d like to say right now, but I won’t.” He let out a nervous laugh.
\n\n\nThe interviewer took a breath.
\n\n\nShe was struggling to find her own words, when she blurted out that stupid, insensitive, AWFUL question every reporter asks someone who has just lost someone.
\n\n\n“So...how DO you feel? Do you feel angry?”
\n\n\nHow are you supposed to answer that? And why on earth would you even ask that question? Unless you are not human and have no sense of compassion, don’t you think you could at least make the assumption that he feels_____________. Everything. Fill in the blank. Anger. Disbelief. Intense sadness. Devastation. Confusion. Fear. Pain.
\n\n\nI hate it when they do this. I cannot see any sense in it whatsoever. It’s no different than going on the news and showing dead bodies covered in bloody sheets with shoeless feet sticking out from underneath. It can’t do anything but add to the trauma the loved ones are already experiencing.
\n\n\nIt was hard enough to go through the loss of Mr. Virgo without being in the spotlight. Yes...having this outlet, this blog was a saving grace many, many times. You were my sounding board, my support system, my cheerleaders, my mentors. But talking here about grief was one of the only places I could control the conversation. Grieving in the limelight adds a whole deeper dimension to the experience, I would think. Millions of eyes are upon you. And the interviewer asks the worst question...ever.
\n\n\nHow do you feel?
\n\n\nI think I would go on a five minute rant...waving my arms, spit flying, and tell the interviewer just exactly what it felt like. Then again...maybe that’s what they want. The drama. I don’t know. I think in this case, when I listened to the interviewer leading up to the question...I think she genuinely WAS at a loss for words and fell back on the old standby question to fill dead air space. At least, I would like to think it was that and not that she was just morbidly curious and wanted the sound bite.
\n\n\nHere’s a suggestion. How about we leave the bereaved the heck alone and let them try to absorb this experience and cope as best they can instead of eviscerating them on live television? How about if we make the family off-limits...you know, out of respect. That’s a start.
\n\n\n?
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-01-29T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/01/29/dear-reporterplease-dont-ask.html", "tags": ["Grief","Wisdom","Warning"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2020/01/14/bald.html", "title": "B.A.L.D.", "content_html": "\n“Ruthless witnesses come forward; they question me on things I know nothing about. They repay me evil for good and leave me like one bereaved.”
\nPsalms 35:11-12 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/6c68ba7093.jpg\")
I don’t watch much television, but I do like to catch CBS Sunday Morning with my coffee before church. Sometime over the holidays, they interviewed Jennifer Lopez. The singer/actress has come a long way since the “Jenny From the Block” days. She was poised and elegant and spoke with the confident wisdom that can only come from age and a broken heart or two along the way.
\n\n\nShe told a story about meeting Ruth Bader Ginsburg. During their conversation, Jennifer asked RBG what her secret was for a long and happy marriage. The octogenarian smiled and said...
\n\n\n\n\n\n\n“Sometimes you have to be a little deaf.”
\nRuth Bader Ginsburg\n
I grinned. I knew what she was talking about. It’s taken me a long, long time...and four husbands...to begin to learn this. Husbands and wives don’t think the same way, don’t you know. We spend our lives exasperated that they don’t speak our language and they spend their lives trying to figure out the best way to stay out of trouble.
\n\n\nI’m in a totally different place in my life now. I’m in a relationship where I can honestly say what I feel for probably the first time in my life. I have to constantly remind myself that...just because I think it or feel it and have the room in this relationship to say it, doesn’t mean I actually HAVE to. So, rather than revert to not saying what I feel...I try to be B.A.L.D.
\n\n\nBe a Little Deaf.
\n\n\nLet’s face it...men can say and do what we think are the dumbest things. It doesn’t mean they ARE dumb. It just means they think differently. When Mr. FixIt says something I know to be...or even THINK to be wrong...I don’t have to correct him or argue with him...every...single...time. Yet, I do so...way too often in the last month or so. Lately, when he says something I don’t agree with, I’ve been trying to ask myself... “Do I have to try to be right all the time?” The answer is no. Especially when it comes at the cost of the other. And...as hard as it is for me to admit...I’m NOT always right. Go figure.
\n\n\nTake for instance, last night. Mr. FixIt came into the bedroom when I was writing this.
\n\n\n“I think I left my phone out in the truck.”
\n\n\n“Do you want me to call it for you?”
\n\n\n“Would you?”
\n\n\n“Sure.”
\n\n\nTen seconds later, his phone rang...in his pocket.
\n\n\n?♀️
\n\n\nI could have said something like, “Seriously? You couldn’t reach in your pocket and find your phone?” That isn’t helpful to anyone. Instead, we just laughed at the absurdity of it. It’s the only way to make life fun and not full of aggravation and hurt feelings.
\n\n\nIt’s not just Mr. FixIt, either. It’s my kids, or the guy on the phone, or the clerk at the store. When my “crap titer” is too high, my fuse is too short. It’s making me take a good solid look at myself. There is a fine line between “confident crone” and “crotchety curmudgeon”. “No one likes a know-it-all,” said every mama...ever.
\n\n\nI’m trying to tell myself to be a little more like Ms. Ginsburg and be a little deaf. Not only will it make life easier for those around me. It’ll make life easier for me, too.
\n\n\nGosh...I’m glad to be back. I really missed this!
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2020-01-14T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2020/01/14/bald.html", "tags": ["Wisdom","Aging","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/12/31/seeking-comfort-in-an-uncomfortable.html", "title": "Seeking Comfort in an Uncomfortable World", "content_html": "\n“Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.”
\nJames 1:19-20 ESV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/307005306f.jpg\")
Well, dear ones...this is it. The last day of the year. The last day of a decade. And oh...what a time it has been. At the beginning of it, I was happily married to Mr. Virgo...living in Denver and not much liking that part, except for being in close proximity to my children. Not that I got to see them much. I was very focused on my husband and didn’t see past the end of my nose. A major regret.
\n\n\nThree years into this decade, my life stopped when Mr. Virgo died unexpectedly...and I set out to create a new life with a new me. I sold the only home I had ever owned on my own. I made some bad decisions...but I’ve also made some good ones. I’ve driven tens of thousands of miles. I settled into and lived in the home of my heart on a beautiful farm that’s been in my family for nearly ninety years.
\n\n\nI’ve connected with some really wonderful people, and reconnected with people I’ve known for a lifetime. I’ve written hundreds of thousands of words as I poured out my grief and my heart and my love into the ether sphere. I married a man I initially set eyes on when I was six years old.
\n\n\nI gained people. And...I lost people I loved dearly.
\n\n\nI totaled a truck and escaped with nothing worse than a small brain bleed that left me struggling to remember things for a couple of years, which filled me with fear. This last year, things finally started to fire on all cylinders in my poor noggin and I feel more like myself than I have in a very long time.
\n\n\nI’ve aged a hundred years in some ways. I’ve gotten much younger in others.
\n\n\nI got a cat. Well...she got me.
\n\n\nI gained a huge extended family and I’m now not only a grandma....I am a GREAT grandma to two little ones with a third one due any day now. I am a GiGi, to be exact. A Mom and a mother-in-law and a Nana and a GiGi. A sister and a friend and a wife. How cool is that?
\n\n\nI went to Church Sunday night and Pastor Justin asked us to think about who we were before we were saved. In that moment, I realized THAT’S what has been hovering in the back of my mind as I contemplate the end of this decade. Because it was the beginning of the previous decade when my life very nearly came to an end.
\n\n\nI let myself cry as the music wafted over me, the Holy Spirit covering...filling me with his Love. My life has moments of demarcation with lines in the sand marking the points between “before” and “after”. The overdose. My mom’s death. Finding Jesus. Meeting, then losing, Mr. Virgo.
\n\n\nFinding ME.
\n\n\nFinding love again.
\n\n\nMarrying a wonderful man.
\n\n\nAll while traveling. I get bored being in the same place too long. I need to seek new horizons from time to time. I need to get away and “blow off some stink” every once in a while. I need to recharge...away from everyone and everything I know. I need to go where no one knows me and rest in the anonymity that comes with the unfamiliar.
\n\n\nI get uncomfortable when I become too comfortable. When things start to get too predictable, I need to shake things up. I tried to count how many houses and apartments I’ve lived in during my lifetime and I lost track. I crave change. Thank goodness I’m married to a very understanding man. It makes me easier to live with, I think.
\n\n\nI don’t usually travel like I did this year...not since I was on the road with the camper after Mr. Virgo died. It was different this time. It was harder to be away from my sweetheart. Partly because I genuinely love being with him and partly because I’m older now and I have intimate experience with loss. Things have changed. There’s more to lose now. I’m not sure how much I’ll travel in the coming year...but I’m sure it won’t be quite like 2019.
\n\n\nWe’re heading out tonight for a family bowling party to ring in the New Year. I can’t remember the last time I bowled. I can’t remember the last time I was out past 10:00! I have to remind myself...I’m only 66. There will be plenty of time to lay down when I’m dead and gone, right?
\n\n\nMaybe I can take a nap before we go.
\n\n\nHappy New Year, my dear ones! If you are struggling, may 2020 bring you peace, prosperity, and good health. You are so loved.
\n\n\nThank you. Truly...thank you for being here all these years. I am eternally grateful for the connections I have made through this page.
\n\n\nBe blessed!
\n\n\nGinny
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n“Sing to the Lord a new song; sing to the Lord, all the earth. Sing to the Lord, praise his name; proclaim his salvation day after day. Declare his glory among the nations, his marvelous deeds among all peoples.”
\n\n\nPsalms 96:1-3 NIV
\n\n\n“Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.”
\n\n\nPsalms 90:12 NIV
\n\n\n“In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.”
\n\n\nProverbs 16:9 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2019-12-31T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/12/31/seeking-comfort-in-an-uncomfortable.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Positive Energy","Camping","The Grand Adventure","Fun","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Aging","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!","Widow","Marriage","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/12/30/when-im-gonean-ode-to.html", "title": "“When I’m Gone”...an Ode to a Decade", "content_html": "\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/03859a810b.jpg\")
I remember the way I felt when the calendar turned from 2013 to 2014. Somehow, in my grief addled mind, I thought it would make things better. It would create distance between Mr. Virgo’s death and....the present. I thought maybe there would be magical power in being able to say “He died LAST year”...as if that space and time would somehow fix this dreadful suffering I was mired in.
\n\n\nBut it didn’t.
\n\n\nThe New Year dawned and the same horrible ache I felt in my heart, the same sense of fear and uncertainty I felt, was still there like a burning coal I could not set down. I think that realization made it even worse because I knew in my heart the only way “out” was “through”. And I was so weary of the pain.
\n\n\nThis is the seventh New Year. I thank God in every way that He carried me through the hell that was acute grief. I thank Him for leading me at every turn and held my forehead all those sleepless nights when all I could do was cry and throw up. I thank Him for bringing me to an excellent grief counselor who listened and knew how to help me with the PTSD brought about by watching the valiant efforts to save Mr. Virgo’s life.
\n\n\nI thank Him for nudging me to pour my heart out on these pages and for giving me the words to do so. I thank Him for opening doors and giving me the courage to walk through them. I thank Him for blessing me with supportive and loving children and family who have stood by me every step of the way...even when I’ve been a pain in the caboose and they roll their eyes at some of my decisions.
\n\n\nAnd, I thank Him for bringing Mr. FixIt into my life, along with a great big bonus family to add to my brood. I am so blessed to have this life and will never take it for granted.
\n\n\nWhen I felt the winds of change blowing me in a new direction in my writing, a thought was formulating in the back of my mind that I couldn’t quite express. I was feeling a certain melancholy and couldn’t figure out why. What was the significance of this New Year over any other? Then, I saw this video and realized...I entered this decade with Mr. Virgo by my side...never dreaming he would be gone in such a short time.
\n\n\nIt’s a big deal to be turning the page on not just a New Year, but on a new decade. The last seven-ish years have been spent healing and growing and learning how to live without him. Then learning how to open my heart wide enough to accept MORE love instead of closing it off for good.
\n\n\nI’m entering new territory here...a decade Mr. Virgo will never experience. When this video popped up on my feed, I watched it and realized, it was released just before he died. It was an anthem I cried over. The lyrics slayed me and brought me much needed emotional release. As I rewatched it before I wrote this, the lyrics took on new meaning for me. In addition to the reminder of my past losses, there is another loss to contend with.
\n\n\nEver since I shared with you my desire to change my writing schedule here on my blog, you have shared with me what this space has meant to you along the way. I cannot close this door completely and just stop altogether. Because I still need this space as much as some of you have indicated you do. I’ve come to know and love you. I’ve cried with you, and prayed with you, and celebrated with you. I don’t know if I can ever express what joy you have brought me. What healing and comfort you shared that eased my broken heart.
\n\n\nWhen I thank God for all He has done for me in this last decade, I thank Him so much for YOU. For giving me this space where we could help each other heal. Lift each other up. To laugh and cry and live and learn with each other.
\n\n\nThank you. Thank you. Thank you.
\n\n\nFor being here and helping me through the worst of times.
\n\n\nAnd here we are...about to head into a new decade! What shall we learn? Where shall we go? What will God reveal to us in this mystical little place called Marshmallow Ranch?
\n\n\n“When I’m Gone” by Joey and Rory Feek
\n\n\nhttps://fbwat.ch/1V3CvhygTPjtgWSw
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n“ ‘Nevertheless, I will bring health and healing to it; I will heal my people and will let them enjoy abundant peace and security.”
\n\n\nJeremiah 33:6 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2019-12-30T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/12/30/when-im-gonean-ode-to.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Growth","God","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/12/28/beware-of-the-scam.html", "title": "Beware of the Scam", "content_html": "\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/2b2b3c82ed.jpg\")
Mr. FixIt and I were watching a movie Christmas night when I received a notification from PayPal on my phone. My domain fee for my website was due. I thought back over the time frame when I built the website and it was over the Christmas holiday. When I opened the invoice, it had the GoDaddy logo and the date, amount due, and my domain name. All official looking. I must admit, I was distracted by the movie. And, the thought that it was odd coming in on Christmas Day had barely registered when I determined it was legit and hit “pay”.
\n\n\nThen the receipt came and it was to a Russian name!
\n\n\nUgh...it only took one second to realize I had just been scammed. I could have spit nails. I know better. If I would have just thought it through and asked myself questions like, “Why would they be requesting money through PayPal?” Ahhhh, but that’s water under the bridge now, isn’t it?
\n\n\nI immediately went on GoDaddy’s website and found their chat feature so I could speak to a representative. He walked me though the whole thing and confirmed my suspicions...the invoice did NOT come from them. I contacted PayPal and filed a fraud report. I got on my bank’s website and sent an urgent message to the fraud department. But it was Christmas Day, after all. Not much I could do until the bank opened the next day.
\n\n\nAs soon as they opened, I was on the phone with them. They emailed a form I needed to sign because it came from the account directly and not through a card. If it had, they would have sent me a new card. Since it did not, I had to print the form, sign it, take a photo of it and sent it back to the bank. We do not have a working printer at the house, so I drove to town to the library.
\n\n\nOnce that was finished, I did my grocery shopping and came back home. I received a message from PayPal that said they couldn’t find any fraud because I had ok’d the payment myself. I called them and finally got a live human being and they reopened their inquiry. In the meantime, they emailed the Russian to hear his side of the story. Yeah...like THAT’S going to get them anywhere! Anyway, I’ve banked at the same bank since 1986 and they jump through hoops to make sure you’re well taken care of. Either way, I’ll get my $51 back. I’m just really lucky it wasn’t any worse.
\n\n\nIf you find yourself in just such a mess, the first thing you need to do is change your password and security questions on whatever site they got in through. That stopped them in their tracks. It’s just really frustrating, but at least I didn’t have to close my checking account and start a new one, or change cards. Be careful out there...especially at this time of year!
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n“Anyone who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with their own hands, that they may have something to share with those in need.”
\n\n\nEphesians 4:28 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2019-12-28T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/12/28/beware-of-the-scam.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Wisdom","Anger","Warning","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/12/18/big-loss-big-growth-big.html", "title": "Big Loss + Big Growth = Big Changes in 2020", "content_html": "\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/8cb02f304b.jpg\")
On March 12, 2013...my world as I knew it came crashing to an end. The future Mr. Virgo and I had planned ended right in front of me in the cold, sterile environment of a Colorado emergency room. Time stopped in that moment and I struggled to do the simplest of tasks...breathing was at the top of the list.
\n\n\nI ever so slowly dragged myself along the jagged shards of grief till I could accomplish simple things like personal hygiene, taking care of paperwork, and eating proper meals. Each tiny step seemed monumental and yet my focus was never much further than the end of my nose. But, hours became days, weeks, months. And finally...years.
\n\n\nWhen I look back on all of that now, I marvel that I survived. I also marvel at this new creation I have become. I am such a different version of myself than I was when Mr. Virgo was alive. I’m not at all sure he would like being married to the me I am now...although I have not a doubt that he would be ever so proud of what I have accomplished in a relatively short time.
\n\n\nRelatively short...if you can call seven Christmases without him “short”. Time is tricky. It seems like yesterday. It seems like eternity. Sometimes, it seems like a dream that I even had him. I’ve learned this is common and it was one of the hardest things to accept. It meant I was growing. Not forgetting...but growing into this new life that I find myself living.
\n\n\nAnd that’s where I’ve come to sit with you today...coffee in hand...to have a little chat. I’ve felt the winds of change whipping around my head for some time now. I’m not one to fear change. As a matter of fact, I embrace it. Good change, anyway. I find myself in a place now where I need to make some good changes. For me. For the people in my life whom I love and love me.
\n\n\nI’ve written every day...almost every single day...for 2,471 days. That’s 6 years, 9 months, and 5 days...in case you’re wondering. I’ve given everything to this project...this Grief Journal...the Documentary of an Ordinary Life. I’ve spoken from my heart with honesty and what I hope was with empathy and grace. And now...I find myself at a crossroads.
\n\n\nOn the day Mr. Virgo died, God threw a pebble in the lake of my life and the ripples have expanded in ever broadening circles...touchIng, crossing, blending with the circles of others. He brought me a companion in Mr. FixIt. With him, God brought me a large extended family that adds to my own in Colorado. More children, grandchildren, and now great grandchildren to love and care for.
\n\n\nHe crossed my path with Janine Pettit who has not only been a dear friend and mentor, but has opened my world to greater opportunities than I could have envisioned. God has answered my prayers when I asked him to “expand my territory”...my circle of influence...to give me even more opportunities to share how He has touched my life. And to share what wisdom I have been graced with.
\n\n\nThere are big projects in the works on a national level which require more and more of my attention. One of which is the new OH-WV Girl Camper Chapter that I share with my dear friend, Gail Bable. We write stories about camping, the things we’ve learned, our favorite picks (parks, equipment, etc.) and local finds. We are essentially Ambassadors for Ohio and West Virginia Tourism as it relates to women travelers...be it camping or otherwise. I also write a series for them called Girl Camper Moments.
\n\n\nThere’s my book, which sits waiting for me to get back to it and breathe life into it so it may be born out into the world. There’s a second book, and a third, and....you get my drift. There’s writing to be done and there are only so many hours in the day in which to do it. I have worked so long and hard on Marshmallow Ranch to let it devolve into anything less than the level of quality you have come to expect...and deserve. This is where the growing pains come in.
\n\n\nI have to make some changes.
\n\n\nIf I want to do what I feel God is calling me to do, then I have to learn to use my time wisely. Just as our finances belong to God and we must be good stewards of what He has entrusted us with, so too is the time He has graced us with in order to accomplish the purpose He has for us in this life. To that end, I have set up a “work schedule” for 2020. I will post here every Wednesday and every Sunday. I will continue “Sunday Evening Prayer Circle” as that has become such a moment of solace for me and for so many others I know. Then I can focus Friday on Girl Camper and turn the writing time I’ve been using into work time on the book.
\n\n\nI do hope you continue to follow along. It may take more work to find me. I'm not sure what Facebook will do to my algorithms if I don't post every day. I will post brief, encouraging photos and quotes frequently. I just won't be writing the long story posts every day we both have become accustomed to. I get as much...if not more...from my writing when I read your kind and encouraging comments. Your loyalty has not been lost on me and I am ever so grateful for all of you.
\n\n\nAnd now, it's.....
\n\n\n2020
\n\n\nIt's all about a new chapter.
\n\n\n20/20
\n\n\nIt’s all about vision.
\n\n\nWith much love and gratitude...
\n\n\nGinny
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n“The seed falling among the thorns refers to someone who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke the word, making it unfruitful. But the seed falling on good soil refers to someone who hears the word and understands it. This is the one who produces a crop, yielding a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown.””
\n\n\nMatthew 13:22-23 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2019-12-18T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/12/18/big-loss-big-growth-big.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Grief","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","God","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Change","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/12/13/definition-of-a-wv-holler.html", "title": "Definition of a WV Holler", "content_html": "![\"Grandma’s](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/e004308d10.jpg\")
Grandma’s farm is at the mouth of a holler. No one lives back up the holler anymore.
It’s “Feel Good Friday” and I want to share something with you. We often talk about the hills of WV where my roots run deep. We talk about Grandma’s farm and the home of my heart. I tell you stories and memories that warm my soul and hopefully yours, as well. If you grew up like I did…you’ll be able to relate. And if you didn’t, you’ll be able to see how the luckiest of us were raised up.
\nI belong to several Appalachian pages on Facebook. I love the pictures and the stories as they stir up memories as old as the hills. When I read the writing of one of these hill folk and it particularly moves me, I simply must share. This piece was written about the hollers of Eastern Kentucky, but that’s not all that far from here and aptly describes our neck of the woods in WV, too. I hope you enjoy!
\nThe Definition of an Eastern Kentucky Holler…..
\nSomeone from outside my area recently asked me about our Eastern Kentucky hollers, and I have been thinking of how to best describe them to those not familiar with them. The simple answer is that a holler is a lane that follows a narrow valley between the hills. But if you’re from the hills of Eastern Kentucky, then you know there’s a lot more to a holler than that.
\nMost hollers are just dirt roads with a little gravel spread on them every now and then. They were never intended to carry heavy traffic. A holler is generally very sparsely populated because that’s the way we like it. We guard our privacy and we’re pretty wary of strangers. Often there’s not another house in sight of your house.
\nBut we still know our neighbors. And when one needs help, then you help. If someone is sick in the holler, then you pitch in to help until they get back on their feet. If someone has a problem, then you listen. When someone claims you as a friend, then you’re loyal. And if you make a promise, then you’d better make good on it.
\nThere aren’t any mansions In a holler. In fact, most houses in a holler are modest ones. And almost everyone has a barn, and a couple of other outbuildings. Some have chickens and cows and goats and a couple of horses. And they all have at least one dog that runs to the road and barks at every car that passes by.
\nMost people in a holler have a front porch. And they actually sit on it. They shell peas and string green beans and peel apples on the porch. And people stop by and sit on the porch with you. They laugh and talk and cuss a little bit about crooked politicians. And in the dusky evenings, they come with fiddles and flat top guitars and five-string banjos. And, good Lord in heaven…..what music they make! Sometimes the music drifts up and down the holler and it’s so pretty it just makes you want to cry! But instead of crying, you find yourself humming along to the lonesome strains of the Orange Blossom Special.
\nA lot of the houses in a holler have been occupied by several generations of the same family over the years. There is comfort in living in the house where your grandpa was born, or playing in the creek where your daddy used to swim. Something stirs down deep inside of you when you know you’re walking in the steps of your forefathers. And you never really feel alone as long as you know that your people lie buried on top of the hill that holds you so closely. Never underestimate the way that the hills cradle you. They will rock you to sleep at night, and awaken you in the morning with a happy heart and a joy in your soul.
\nIf you live in a holler, you get recognition every day. And you’re never invisible. People always wave at you when they see you on your porch or in your yard. And if they don’t see you outside, then they will blow the horn when they drive by your house….just as a way of saying “howdy”. And if a few days pass and they don’t see you, then they’ll stop by to check on you. You can count on it. And you can count on them.
\nIf your house is the first one as you turn up the holler….then you live at the mouth of the holler. If your house is the last one where the holler dead-ends…then you live at the head of the holler. And responsibilities fall to you according to where you live in the holler. For example, if you live at the mouth of the holler and you see a strange car that doesn’t belong to anyone you know and it’s heading up the holler, then you call the people who live above you and let them know that there’s a stranger headed up their way. That’s just common courtesy. If a vacuum cleaner salesman comes to your door, then call and let the others in the holler know so they’ll have time to let the big dogs out of the house before the salesman pulls into their driveway.
\nIf anyone invites you to have a meal at their table…accept their offer quickly. And if it’s a house where an old woman runs the kitchen, get to the table just as fast as you can. And get ready to be amazed! Because if you live to be a hundred years old, you will never have a finer meal than one served up in an Eastern Kentucky holler.
\nThere is a certain etiquette adhered to when you drive up or down the holler. If you meet another car in an extra narrow spot, then one of you has to back up to a wide spot so the other can pass. And when you are finally able to pass each other, you stop and roll the car window down and you talk until another car comes along and you have to move on.
\nIf your neighbor slides out of the road in the winter snow, or if he gets stuck in the mud, then you try to push him out. If you’re unable to push him out, then you get your tractor out of the barn, attach a big chain, and pull him out. Again…it’s just common courtesy.
\nIf someone in the neighborhood dies, you get to their house quickly with huge boxes of food. You make a pot of coffee. And then you make another one. And you stay beside your neighbor for as long as you’re needed. You don’t even have to say a word, you just have to be there.
\nThere are other unwritten rules to holler-living. If a forest fire breaks out, you become a firefighter. And not just to save your own house, but to also save all the other houses in the holler. If the creeks start rising, you don’t leave anyone behind to face the muddy waters alone. And when storms come, and they will, you will find no better friends than the ones who are going through the same challenges that you’re facing.
\nThere’s a lot more to be said about an Eastern Kentucky holler, but if I don’t tell you another thing, you need to know that a holler is more than a narrow isolated lane that runs between the hills. A holler takes you to the place where you have always been loved and where you’ll always be welcome. A holler takes you to the place where you can find comfort and peace and a sense of belonging. It takes you to your roots and to your family and to the truth of who you are. A holler takes you home.
\nWritten by Roberta Stephens
\nJanuary 4, 2017
\nIn sweet memory of the hollers I have loved
\n❤️
\n“‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.””\n\n", "date_published": "2019-12-13T02:30:29-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/12/13/definition-of-a-wv-holler.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","West Virginia","The Farm","Gratitude","Comfort","Love","Wisdom","Choices","Feel Good Friday"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/12/12/winding-down-the-year.html", "title": "Winding Down the Year", "content_html": "Revelation 21:4 NIV
![\"Mug](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/3ceec9306b.jpg\")
“I’m looking for a little down time…maybe after the holidays.”
The year is quickly fading and before we know it, we will turn the page on…not only another year, but on a decade. There will be stories about the best and worst and we’ll wax poetic for what was, what is, and what might have been. It’s hard to stay in the moment in a moment like this.
\nIn looking back over my last year, I realize a turning point occurred early on. I was happily sitting and knitting a gazillion dishcloths and watching movies with Mr. FixIt the entire month of January. It was divine spending hours with hot mugs of tea and the smooth feel of fiber and needles in my hands. Then…my good friend Janine stepped in and called a halt to the whole thing with these wise words:
\n“Stop knitting and write your book! You can knit when you’re on your book tour.”
\nWow…she’s right, you know. I was enjoying the hygge environment I had created but I was also killing time till spring came and I could get back outside and play. I spent the entire month of February sequestered in the big camper and wrote over 75,000 words. And I haven’t really stopped moving since.
\nI bought that little camper in March and then the grass started growing and camping season started and the new Girl Camper website was being developed and we traveled….everywhere. And now, the year is all but over and I’m on sensory overload. Not from the holidays, per se. It’s just been a high gear year and I’m really ready for a little down time.
\nTake yesterday, for example. I hadn’t finished my first cup of coffee when Mr. FixIt announced he needed to go to Lowe’s to get the drywall for the bathroom he’s finishing and I decided to go into town with him. I wanted to pick up a gift card for my brother. I figured we would be back in ninety minutes…tops. Ha! We pulled back in the driveway at 5:30.
\nThere is no such thing as a “quick trip to town” for some reason. Not when you decide to stop for a late breakfast and the usual errands and a stop at the grocery store and the original destination of Lowe’s and then the grandkids need something. We often look at each other and say “What on EARTH did we do when we worked full time???”
\nThe upside of the day? I got to hold my little great grandson for half an hour and get some snuggles, so the day was not a loss.
\n❤️
\n““Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.””\n\n", "date_published": "2019-12-12T02:30:47-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/12/12/winding-down-the-year.html", "tags": ["Family","Overcoming Obstacles","Comfort","Peace","Holiday","Wisdom","Aging","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/12/11/its-a-kiss-christmas-keep.html", "title": "It’s a KISS Christmas - Keep it Simple, Santa!", "content_html": "Matthew 11:28-30 NIV
![\"Shiny](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/357bd5f4ae.jpg\")
“Simple and elegant…vintage Shiny Brite ornaments like these hang on our tree here at the Ponderosa”
Wait! How can it possibly be just two weeks till Christmas Day??? It seems like I was on the RPod Tour yesterday and now we are sliding into the home stretch and the year will be over. I went to the farm Monday midday to write. I fell asleep to the sound of rain on the tin roof. I couldn’t help it. Not only was it soothing, but it’s my happy place and I’ve been running around like crazy this year. I just enjoy it so much.
\nI woke up yesterday morning and looked at the weather reports. When I went to sleep it was 61℉ and raining. By morning they were predicting snow in the afternoon. I had limited groceries with me so I decided to pack up and head back to the Ponderosa. When I walked in, I heard the carpet shampooer running in the basement and that can only mean one thing. The basement flooded again. I went down and helped my sweet Mr. FixIt clean up the mess.
\nOnce we got the worst of it done, I sat down to write. I have deadlines to meet every couple of weeks and I had a lot of work to do. Several hours later, I turned off the computer. I’ll finish this morning. Mr. FixIt baked some peanut butter cookies. We watched the news. We read the mail. We got our first Christmas cards yesterday. I haven’t even thought about doing ours yet. I haven’t gone Christmas shopping. I haven’t baked cookies or made special gifts. Nothing.
\nI used to feel really bad about myself if the holidays weren’t visions straight out of a Hallmark movie. I have SO gotten over that. The house is decorated…enough. Did I get the Christmas Village out on the dining room table? Nope. It’s ok. If my friends and family get a New Year’s letter from us, is it going to be the end of the world? Nope. It’s ok. If the kids get cash cards instead of intricately wrapped gifts, will it make the holidays any less bright? Nope. How about if I buy a store bought cheesecake instead of making fifteen dozen cookies…does it take anything away from our celebrations? No.
\nBecause…all the decorations and the hoopla, the frenzy and the manic late nights aren’t what this holiday season is about anyway. It’s about love. And celebrating Jesus. And gathering the family and holding them close. I started a new Christmas tradition for Mr. FixIt and family when I came into the picture. I make a big pot of chili and homemade cinnamon rolls. It’s low key. We exchange modest gifts. And this year, we’re going to have a White Elephant gift exchange as a fun activity. If you’ve never done that, it’s a lot of fun. Here are the rules:
\nEach participant supplies one wrapped gift, usually of similar value. The gifts are placed in a central location, and participants determine in which order they will take turns selecting them. The first person opens a wrapped gift, and the turn ends. On subsequent turns, each person has the choice to either unwrap a new present or to steal another’s. When a person’s gift is stolen, that person can either choose another wrapped gift to open or can steal from another player. To avoid never-ending circles, each gift can only be stolen once per turn. The game is over when everyone has a present. Generally, it is recommended to have at least six participants for the gift exchange party. With a larger group, game play may be more protracted.
\nIt’s a KISS Christmas…Keep it Simple, Santa!
\n❤️
\n“For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-12-11T02:30:37-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/12/11/its-a-kiss-christmas-keep.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Fun","West Virginia","The Farm","New Ideas","Gratitude","Comfort","Holiday","Wisdom","Peaceful Moments","Choices","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/12/10/love-to-the-rescue.html", "title": "Love to the Rescue", "content_html": "Matthew 6:21 NIV
![\"Friends\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/2ca326057b.jpg\")
“One of my besties! Deneene and her sidekick, Griffen the Grey, came for a visit. She’s good for what ails ya!”
I wrote in yesterday’s post about feeling “in the ditch”. I struggled for a few days with grief waves triggered by a traumatic loss in the family. Then, in swept my dear friend Deneene with lots of love and her trusty sidekick, Griffen the Grey. Griff is a nine month old French Bulldog who wriggled his way into my heart when we visited Deneene and her husband Mark in South Carolina this summer.
\nI had been greatly anticipating Deneene’s arrival for the last week and when she walk in the door, all the “holding it all in” released with her big bear hug. I had the gas stove in the family room fired up so it was nice and toasty. And I had the TV on with this really great ten hour YouTube fireplace video running in the background. We have a huge TV because the family room is huge. It used to be a two car garage, so if you want to read the fine print at the bottom of the screen, you need a big TV. When Deneene walked in, she said she could see the fire blazing from the road leading past our house. I was glad no one thought the house was on fire and called 911!
\nWe didn’t stay up too late and talk because my friend is a new grandma and had just spent a week at her daughter’s helping out with the new baby. She was pretty tired so we said goodnight early. Deneene is not a real morning person, so when Mr. FixIt and I woke up at 8:30, I told him to be really quiet so as not to wake her. I forgot that puppies get their mommies up really early and she had been waiting for US to get up and keeping Griffen quiet.
\nWhen I heard them talking in the family room, I quickly dressed and went into the kitchen to cook breakfast. Scratch biscuits with homemade sausage gravy and eggs. OMGosh! It’s been forever since I fixed that and it was SO good. I made Paula Deen’s Cream Biscuits. They are love in the palm of your hand. Look up the recipe. Super easy! And sausage gravy couldn’t be easier to make than mine. Fry a pound of sausage till browned, sprinkle about a third of a cup of flour over it and stir till combined then slowly pour enough milk over it to loosed it up, adding more milk as it cooks, stopping when you get the right consistency.
\nAs we sat and ooohed and ahhhed over the delicacy before us, we slathered butter and local orange blossom honey over the rest of the biscuits till there were just three left. I tucked them in a bag for Deneene to take with her to nibble on the road. Deneene raved over our hospitality and I told her it was the best B&B this side of the Mississippi…and it’s free!
\nWe said our WV goodbye. She announced she should be leaving. We told another story. She said she really should get going. We hugged and talked about when we would get to see one another again. She gathered up her things. I made sure she didn’t forget her biscuits. We walked to the door. We hugged again and declared it had been too long since the last visit and we shouldn’t wait so long next time. She double checked if she had everything. I asked if she needed a bottle of water for the road. She picked up her bags and we had another long hug at the door. As she walked through, we noticed she had set down the biscuits when she put on her coat so we retrieved them for her. If it hadn’t have been raining, we would have walked her to her truck and the goodbye would have lasted another fifteen to twenty minutes. Thus is the nature of goodbyes in the country. It’s a goodbye full of love!
\nI called after her, “Don’t forget to text when you get there!” If it was dusk, I would have said, “Watch for deer!” That’s West Virginian for “I love you!”
\nDeneene honked from the road as she drove by and I waved madly from the front window. And she was gone. My friend whom I helped through her own grief had come and returned the favor. I felt so much better after her visit. I have a big deadline to meet this week so after Deneene left, I packed up and went to the farm where I turned the TV to the same fireplace video. I survived another wave and I’m on to the next thing. Such is the nature of grief. It just gets incorporated into life and you move forward. Thank you for your support yesterday. You have no idea what that means to me. I wish everyone who grieves had cheerleaders like you to support them through their journey.
\n❤️
\n“My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-12-10T02:30:55-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/12/10/love-to-the-rescue.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Fun","West Virginia","The Farm","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/12/09/in-the-ditch.html", "title": "In the Ditch", "content_html": "John 15:12 NIV
![\"Waves](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/ada04f9744.jpg\")
“You never know what will trigger grief…I’m just grateful it doesn’t come nearly as often as it used to.”
Mr. FixIt called yesterday when he was on his way to our granddaughter’s baby shower. There was a wreck on our road. Someone had gone in the ditch, overcorrected, went across the road and ran into an abandoned house. I have to say, that road worries me. Whenever one of us goes to town without the other, we always text when we get there to alleviate the worry.
\nOne of my dearest friends in the whole world stopped at our house yesterday on her way home to South Carolina and spent the night. I was SO excited to see her. I met Deneene through Marshmallow Ranch a couple of years ago. She lost her husband about a year or so before we met and a mutual friend introduced her to my blog. Since she was local, I invited her out for coffee and it was one of those instant life long friendships forged on common ground.
\nBefore Deneene arrived, I baked an apple galette for a sweet treat. But, I have to say…my stomach has been in knots ever since I went to the viewing last Wednesday. I’ve been “in the ditch”. I’ve been to viewings and funerals since Mr. Virgo died. While none of them are easy, the only ones that really hit me hard are the “snatch deaths”…those sudden, unexpected deaths that snatch loved ones in an instant. It stirs up every bit of angst I thought I had put away long ago.
\nWhere I had been the comforter for Deneene when we first met…last night, she became mine. I poured out how fearful I become when a grief wave comes over me now. Fearful…because I tell myself I should be way past this. How can I tell Mr. FixIt about it? Will he walk away from me because he’s “had enough of this”? No, of course not. For one thing, it very rarely happens anymore. For another…he’s not that kind of guy. I should KNOW all this because this is what I do…I comfort others in their grief. I share stories of my own to let others know they aren’t alone. Yet, I tell myself…I should be over this by now, right?
\nMy sweet friend, so gentle and serene, calmly reminded me of what I told her back when we sat over coffee and shared our hearts for over four hours.
\n“There IS no timetable for grief…remember? There IS no rule book. YOU told me that.”
\nYes…indeed. I did tell her that. I tell you that, too. And, I tell you I’ll always speak to you with an open, honest heart and tell you the truth about this grief journey…even when it is uncomfortable or ugly or scary. Even when I’m happily, madly in love and remarried…I am not immune to the waves of grief that rear up against me on occasion. Of COURSE a loss that close to home stirred memories. Why wouldn’t it?
\nWas it a mistake to go to the viewing? I don’t know…maybe. However, I am so glad I was there to support those I love, even if it WAS hard. There are going to be hard things in life. I can’t avoid them.
\nIt’s ok to not be ok for a little bit. It won’t last forever. I’m not buying real estate…I’m just passing through. It’s the holidays and they can be rough for anyone. When I urge you to be gentle with yourselves, I don’t always take the same advice. I so appreciate my friend to remind me…it’s ok.
\n❤️
\n“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-12-09T02:30:08-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/12/09/in-the-ditch.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","God","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Choices","Change","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/12/08/bucket-lists-miracles-making-memories.html", "title": "Bucket Lists \u0026 Miracles \u0026 Making Memories", "content_html": "Psalms 147:3 NIV
![\"Santa](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/e3f266091b.jpg\")
“When being Santa is on your bucket list…”
This is the time of year where Christmas is around every corner. The twinkling lights and bustling shops, the carols and the wonderful aromas wafting from the kitchen…they all bring up memories. And, while there is a plethora of “warm-fuzzy” memories, there are also sad painful memories that show up with the turn of the calendar and the darkening of the days.
\nChristmas was Mr. Virgo’s very favorite holiday. When he worked at the Hotel Jerome in Aspen, he was asked to play Santa one year. You would have thought he was stepping on stage at the Met. He was thrilled…not only to play the role, but to grow out his beard. You often are not allowed to have facial hair when you work in Food & Beverage. This was a treat, all the way around. I know what joy that brought him.
\nOne of my high school friends brought us some devastating news a while back. Her sweet brother, Ed Lowe, was diagnosed with cancer. When they did an in depth work up, they found out it had spread through his body. Ed is a pastor, and he knows where he will go when it is his time. He’s taking advantage of every treatment option and covets the prayers of anyone who will pray for a miracle with him.
\nWith his typical optimism, Ed has set out to work on his bucket list. With Christmas fast approaching, he put his wish out there….to be Santa in our hometown Christmas Parade! Phone calls were made and before you knew it, Ed was being fitted for his Santa suit and got to ride down Market Street on a float…waving and smiling and throwing candy to the children lining the parade route.
\nThese are the happy/sad stories we read about this time of year. This is a memory that will be cherished by so many people, no matter what the outcome of Ed’s health scare may be. I’m telling you this story because I love my friend, Janet. I love her fierce devotion to her brother. And, I am asking you to do something for us. Whenever you see Santa in the coming weeks, please send up a prayer for a special man of God who wants his own Christmas Miracle. Please pray for Ed Lowe…and all the others who need miracles, as well.
\n?❤️????❤️?
\n“Heal me, Lord, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for you are the one I praise.”\n\n \n", "date_published": "2019-12-08T02:30:31-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/12/08/bucket-lists-miracles-making-memories.html", "tags": ["Faith","Health","Family","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Hope","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Wisdom","Courage","Humbled","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/12/07/a-good-book-is-a.html", "title": "A Good Book is a Good Friend", "content_html": "Jeremiah 17:14 NIV
![\"Reading\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/24bccdbb70.jpg\")
“Books open the mind of the reader and sparks an interest in the world.”
I am so busy writing now, I seldom have time to read. I have a stack of books by the bed. A cabinet full in the family room. My iPad has at least a dozen good books just waiting for me to sit down…yet I seldom do. And when I do have time, I love to knit.
\nI used to read voraciously, but since Mr. Virgo died, I just can’t seem to concentrate long enough to get into the story. I wish I could. I think I would love to sit by a babbling brook on a warm spring day and while away the hours, getting lost in a captivating storyline. I keep hoping.
\nI do have such fond memories of reading. My mother taught me to read before I started school. The first grade teacher was so taken with my early reading skills that she sent me to other classes to read to the children. I always had a book, and when I didn’t have one, I read the dictionary or my hand-me-down encyclopedia. Mom bought a set of books as shopping rewards from the grocery store when I was very young and I devoured them.
\nI have memorable moments with certain books. Love Story. I threw the book across the room and sobbed. To Kill A Mockingbird. I felt an inherent shame for the ill-treatment of others. Of Mice and Men. It broke my heart because I have a differently-able brother. There was Watership Down which got me through seasons of anxiety. There were the horror stories of Stephen King. The dramatic mysteries from the likes of James Patterson and Robin Cooke and so many others.
\nA very special time in my life was when Daughter #2 and I cuddled in bed every night and read the Harry Potter books. Thinking back on that time is bittersweet. Reading with her was wonderful. But my marriage was falling apart, as was my fragile mind in the midst of it all, and that season of my life was clouded by Prozac and assorted pharmaceuticals.
\nI have a new generation to read to now. Our oldest great grandchild is two now and is beginning to take an interest in books. The younger is just four months old so it will be a while before I can read to him, but we’ll have lots of picture books. And, another little boy will be gracing our presence in January.
\nI think I may have to start scheduling a time to read for pleasure. What are your favorite reads these days?
\n❤️
\n“He went up to the temple of the Lord with the people of Judah, the inhabitants of Jerusalem, the priests and the prophets—all the people from the least to the greatest. He read in their hearing all the words of the Book of the Covenant, which had been found in the temple of the Lord.”\n\n \n", "date_published": "2019-12-07T02:30:31-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/12/07/a-good-book-is-a.html", "tags": ["Family","Overcoming Obstacles","Fun","Gratitude","Comfort","Peace","Wisdom","Choices","Widow","Littles"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/12/06/its-feel-good-friday.html", "title": "It’s Feel Good Friday", "content_html": "2 Kings 23:2 NIV
![\"Happy](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/e7b490a1e7.jpg\")
“Here’s a photo of my happy big brother. He makes this a true Feel Good Friday!”
Wednesday night, after leaving the funeral home in support of family who suffered a devastating loss, I came home to an empty house while Mr. FixIt ran errands in town. I cleaned up around the house a bit, snuggled the kitten and put her to bed, then padded down the hallway to our room. I got into my cozy jammies, climbed into bed, and prepared to write my post…as I do every night. Then my phone dinged.
\nI looked down and it was a text from Hubby #2. He was having dinner with my brother and sent me a picture. He does this whenever they go out and it makes my heart burst…for a number of different reasons. First, because I miss my brother and I only get to see him once a year now. He is my only blood sibling. I have two sibs of the heart…but my Bubby is the the best. He owns the biggest piece of real estate in my heart. It made me so happy to see that great big smile from this sweet, sweet man.
\nThe second reason my heart exploded is…this picture was only possible because the man I was married to for twenty years thinks enough of my brother to make a point to take him out to dinner several times a year. There was a time in the throes of divorce that I truly mourned, not just for the loss of a marriage, but the loss of my friendship with #2. I was always hopeful we could develop that again, but it wasn’t until Mr. Virgo died what we set everything aside and called a truce. I’m so glad because it’s so much better for the kids and grandkids when you can get along. The fact that he takes my brother out for dinner and sends me the picture makes me proud of the personal growth we both have accomplished.
\nI’m always looking for good news stories to share with you all because there’s already so much bad stuff. We need something uplifting. A friend shared a cute little Christmas commercial with me last night so I decided I’m going to try to have “Feel Good Fridays” to give us all something joyful to take us into the weekend. Thanksgiving was so late this year that it’s giving us a shorter Christmas season. And…this is the time of year for all the feel good stories. After December, I’ll have to go hunting for them. But, hunting I shall gladly do. I hope you enjoy this sweet little story out of the UK.
\nhttps://www.cnn.com/2019/12/04/uk/heartwarming-christmas-advert-intl-scli-gbr/index.html?ofs=fbia
\n❤️
\n“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-12-06T02:30:21-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/12/06/its-feel-good-friday.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Positive Energy","Fun","Gratitude","Comfort","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Aging","Choices","Be Joyful!","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/12/05/the-last-hour.html", "title": "The Last Hour", "content_html": "2 Corinthians 1:3-4 NIV
![\"Black](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/9d50c9f127.jpg\")
“Pumpkin Kitty snoozing on her mama.”
We spent the day at home yesterday, watching the hearings, nibbling on Thanksgiving leftovers (namely PIE), and snuggling a healing kitten. She was spayed on Monday and she is doing very well, but she sleeps a lot. I’ve been trying to cuddle her in small doses to acclimate myself to her kitty allergens since she’s in the house for a couple of weeks. I can hold her like this for a while, then I have to hand her off to Mr. FixIt and go wash my face and hands. I have been coughing a little more, and my nose has been a little drippy, but nothing major. We’ll see how this goes. She is so sweet when she sleeps on me and goes all limp and warm.
\nAs the afternoon crept on, it got closer and closer to time to go to the funeral home. OMGosh! I was dreading it more and more with each passing hour. Finally, I told Mr. FixIt to go on without me and if I could, I’d follow along shortly. I needed a little time alone. Finally, I shook myself out of it, got dressed, and drove to town.
\nThis was just a viewing. They are not having a funeral. The family gathered at 4:00 to spend some time with the young man alone. Then the doors were open from 5-8 for the viewing. It was an open casket. We stood in line, we paid our respects to his mother, then went and sat with the family. We visited with people we don’t get to see very often. I was introduced to a few I hadn’t met yet. Then, we sat in quiet contemplation…as one does at such things.
\nIt didn’t take long for my mind to wander back to my own experience at Mr. Virgo’s viewing. My eyes stung as I watched the young man’s mother bravely greet people. A little laugh here…hugs and tears there…lots of deep breaths and sips of water. Boxes of tissues were shared. A chair was brought closer.
\nI looked at my watch. It was 7:00…the last hour. I remember the last hour as if it were yesterday. That’s when the reality hits home that…this is it. This is the last time you’ll see the face of your loved one this side of Heaven. I saw Mr. Virgo at the funeral home the night before the funeral, and I assumed I would see him again in the morning at the church. When I walked in, his casket was at the back of the church…closed with American flag draped over it. And I freaked out. I grabbed my daughter’s arm and said, “I get to see him again, don’t I???” She quickly went to the funeral director and they opened the casket so I could get that one last goodbye. It was brutal.
\nI turned to Mr. FixIt and said, “It’s the last hour. They do not need an audience. We need to go, now.” He didn’t question me…we got our coats, said our goodbyes to the kids and family and left. I can’t say it gets any easier to go to a viewing. But my experience gives me an empathy that I hope the bereaved can feel when I attend.
\n❤️
\n“Taking Jesus’ body, the two of them wrapped it, with the spices, in strips of linen. This was in accordance with Jewish burial customs.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-12-05T02:30:14-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/12/05/the-last-hour.html", "tags": ["Faith","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/12/04/grief-timestill-grief.html", "title": "Grief + Time...Still = Grief", "content_html": "John 19:40 NIV
![\"Grief](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/0987370dc3.jpg\")
“Grief plus time still equals grief. It’s just to varying degrees.”
It is said, “A burdened shared is lightened.” I have found this is usually the case. A heavy load is more easily carried when someone picks up the other end. Mr. FixIt picks up the other end of my grief much of the time. While it isn’t necessarily his job, he helps me through the worst times because he is my partner in all things.
\nThat being said, I totally get how blessed I am to have this man in my life and I know he would keep picking up that other end till the cows came home. All I have to do is ask. That’s precisely why I don’t a lot of the time. It’s a tough job to love a widow. It takes a strong man. I don’t want him to burn out and decide this is more than what he bargained for. Besides, at some point, I had to learn to let Jesus do the heavy lifting for me so I could work on the feelings in my heart.
\nIt has been 2,457 days since Mr. Virgo died. I’ve come light years since those early days when I had zero control over my emotions. I was a slave to the whims of my limbic system. If you go back and read my early writing, you’ll find many nights when I literally grabbed onto the side of the mattress and hung on for dear life. Waves of grief led to oceans of anxiety that threatened to drown me every night. I knew if I could just hang on till the sun came up, it would be better. Eventually, ever so slowly, inch by inch…things got better. That’s why, when I get hit now, it’s fairly predictable and fairly remarkable.
\nTriggers.
\nThere will always be triggers, no matter how long it’s been since your loss.
\nOn Sunday morning, when we got the call about the young man who was killed in the car accident, my heart started racing, my hands were sweating, and my mind started to race. I had my hands full with dinner in various stages of completion. And, while I am not close to the young man, he was close family through Mr. FixIt’s children and grandchildren. I felt it was important to keep moving and get food ready for everyone.
\nI did well all day. I was supportive and listened and hugged everyone. I even told my story about losing Mr. Virgo to the family members who didn’t know me then. But, when I went to bed, I was quickly overwhelmed. My grief comes out through my stomach and I was sick most of the night. Just as it was in the early days, if I’m going to have any trouble with grief, it’s going to be in the long dark hours of the night.
\nFortunately, I have come a long way since those early days. I have learned a lot of tricks to help me get through the rough stuff. I know how to divert my attention by getting up and doing something different rather than lay there in bed mulling things over. Still, there are times when it all catches up with me and I can’t do anything about it. Those are the times I take something for my nausea and anxiety, go into the spare bedroom so as to not disturb my husband. Then, I talk out loud to Jesus until I drift off to sleep. When I wake up the next day, I’m fine and ready to take on the world again.
\nTonight is the visitation. This will be hard. I will do my best to be there and support my bonus family and my husband. But I will not lie…this is not going to be easy for me. What I will tell myself all day tomorrow is…”If you think it’s hard to go to this, imagine his mother. His grandparents. His cousins. His friends. You can do this. It isn’t happening to YOU now.”
\nThat’s the thing you have to convince yourself. It isn’t happening to YOU. Because that’s where your mind takes you. Memory is a cruel mistress.
\n❤️
\n“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-12-04T02:30:15-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/12/04/grief-timestill-grief.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","God","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Aging","Choices","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/12/03/recovery-day.html", "title": "Recovery Day", "content_html": "John 14:27 NIV
![\"Christmas](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/9e70d90054.jpg\")
“Christmas Lights & Pie”
When all the food is put away…when all the dishes are done…when all the guests have said their last goodbye…what time is it? It’s time for PIE! Well, really…is there ever a BAD time for pie? We turned off the lights…all but the tree. And just enjoyed the quiet.
\nI took the kitten in bright and early to be spayed and immediately came home and slept three more hours. Working to put on a big family dinner takes the starch out of you. And it gets harder the older you get.
\nThe babies were so much fun. Princess First was in rare form, ate like a champ, colored brilliantly, and melted me with “Pweeze, Gigi!” I’m toast. Then there was Prince Second. Oy, he is a solid chunk of sheer joy. He smiles and coos and bats his big eyes at me. All I wanted to do all day was kiss and nibble on those cheeks…they are so delectable!
\nOnce the kitten was ready, I went to pick her up. They informed me she needs to stay in the house for the next ten days. You know what that means, don’t you? It means we now have an indoor cat. Bring me all the antihistamines in the land! It’s better, really. I worry about her outside with that road even though she was safe in the pole building every night. I also found out we can board her with our vet when we go out of town. So it was a win-win day.
\nNow I can turn my focus back to writing. The OH-WV Chapter page on the new Girl Camper website needs my attention every couple of weeks. There are presents to make. Cookies to bake. Calls to make. Cards to send. This will be a busy and quick month for all of us. Then we can start making all our camping plans for the New Year! There’s going to be some fun things happening on the east side…up and down the mid-Atlantic area so keep your eyes peeled for announcements!
\nKaty bar the door…all heck is gonna break loose around here!
\n❤️
\n“Put your outdoor work in order and get your fields ready; after that, build your house.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-12-03T02:30:13-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/12/03/recovery-day.html", "tags": ["Faith","Travel","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Positive Energy","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Holiday","Wisdom","Girl Camper","Girl Campers","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/11/30/when-kindness-matters-most.html", "title": "When Kindness Matters Most", "content_html": "Proverbs 24:27 NIV
![\"Be](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/915ddf5f24.jpg\")
“Kindness Matters Most…especially when it involves children.”
My dear friend Diane sent me a link to an article in the New York Times yesterday. It was a story about the new mayor of Charleston and how she barked up the wrong tree. It seems, in an effort to be inclusive and considerate of the Muslim and Jewish population in our state’s capital, she decided to rename the Christmas Parade. She announced on a Facebook post that the Winter Parade would be on such and such a date…and thus began a civil uprising. Well, maybe uncivil is a more appropriate description.
\nI understand what she was trying to do. And I appreciate it. Having lived 27 years as a practicing Jew in a small town and watching discrimination at work was an eye opening experience for me. It gave me a much deeper appreciation for what some people go through on a daily basis in this world.
\nThe mayor was attacked from all sides and had very few backers. Part of it was the way she went about it…making a unilateral decision without consulting anyone. But the biggest part was the way the world is now. I could have been a mediator by profession because I can easily see both sides of this issue. People were feeling attacked and that, in the spirit of political correctness, they felt the mayor was trying to steal Christmas. When, in actuality, she was just trying to be kind to everyone in the community.
\nAs I read the comments to the story, several of them were from minorities saying they never felt they were “less than” or “excluded” because of Christmas celebrations. While they didn’t observe the holiday themselves, they never felt threatened by other people celebrating. I remember talking to a Rabbi once and asked him what he would do regarding my children’s participation in these programs. He said “Lip synch the words to the religious songs and belt out the secular ones. There is a lot of beautiful music in the Christian faith. I think it’s very important that we don’t try to dilute anyone’s holiday.” That made a lot of sense to me.
\nThis story brings to mind something that happened to me when I lived in that small mountain town in Colorado. Hubby #2 was a new physician and we had only lived in town a few years. One Christmas, a couple of things came to a head that are very similar to what happened in Charleston this month.
\nFirst, the wife of one of my husband’s colleagues was Jewish and she had two sons in the public grade school. There was no mention in the curriculum of any holidays besides Christian ones. She wanted the children to have a greater world view and asked if she could form an ad hoc committee to explore how to go about broadening the horizons without stepping on anyone’s toes. Even though my younger daughter was only a baby at the time, I knew she would be going to the same school in a few years so I said yes when I was asked to join.
\nWe held meetings with the school board. We offered to provide children’s books for the school library with stories about Chanukah and Passover. We volunteered to come into the classes during story time and share traditional foods of other cultures. And, we asked that the school program in December be renamed the Winter Festival. That’s where we ran into road blocks and it got ugly…fast. Our mayor hung a banner across the Main Street through town claiming that “The heathens are trying to steal Christmas from our children! Don’t let that happen!” Those were the exact words. Heathens.
\nIn the historical context, the word heathen means “an individual or a people that do not acknowledge the God of the Bible; a person who is neither a Jew, Christian, nor Muslim; a pagan.” We certainly were NOT heathens and it was a blatant slur…not the least of the discriminatory experiences I encountered in my years as a member of the Jewish community.
\nOur little mountain town was formed by a large ranching and mining community. There were two black children, a handful of Hispanic children, and no Asians the year my daughter started 7th grade. We had relocated there from Denver where my daughter was in a tri-lingual classroom…English, Spanish, and Vietnamese. Her school was a cross section of humanity and she was dumbfounded by the “white bread” community she found herself living in. Every holiday, a large cross was lit on the top of a mountain within view of the whole town, reminding everyone that that “we celebrate Christmas in this town.”
\nAt the same time the banner went up across the Main Street and the cross was lit on the hill, we found out that the cross was on city property and the electricity was being paid for with tax money. This is where I had a problem. I can educate. I can buy books and bake cookies till the cows come home, but there is a separation of church and state in this country and the founding fathers made it that way on purpose. I believe in honoring that and if I would have been Christian at the time, I still would have believed in that.
\nThen, things shifted in town. It turns out the ACLU got wind of the situation and put the town on notice they would be taken to court if they didn’t make other arrangements for the cross on the hill. A citizen donated a piece of land up higher than the original location, and a new and larger cross was erected. Every year, a collection takes place to pay for the electricity and upkeep of the cross. I was thrilled with that because it was not only even more beautiful than before, it now complied with the law.
\nAs time went on, some things in town got better, but there was still an undercurrent of anti-Semitism. When Daughter #2, who was just a baby when this all went down, was in high school, she was bullied and called a “stupid, effing Jew” among other derogatory comments. I went to the administration but the bullying continued and we finally determined she would be happier at the alternative high school.
\nShe is doing well now. She is 29 and married. But she carries the emotional scars from her experiences. This is why I am sensitive to all people. This is why I don’t want the little Jehovah’s Witness children to have to sit in the cafeteria, ostracized by their peers because of their beliefs. I want the little Jewish children to be included in the holiday extravaganza because they have a holiday to celebrate, too. I don’t want any child to feel left out.
\nI don’t know what the answer is for you. All I know is, I personally know what discrimination feels like. And I know what it feels like to hold your child in your arms when she’s been crushed by bullies. Therefore, I say “Happy Holidays” if I am not sure of the person’s beliefs. I don’t care if someone says Happy Holidays or Merry Christmas to me. I am not insulted. Why would I be? It’s a blessing when someone wishes you well. I’ll take that any day of the week over some of the terrible things people feel free to say to each other these days. Because…kindness matters.
\n❤️
\n#KindnessMatters, #Discrimination, #HappyHolidays
\n“For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But whoever does not have them is nearsighted and blind, forgetting that they have been cleansed from their past sins.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-11-30T02:30:32-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/11/30/when-kindness-matters-most.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","Growth","New Ideas","Grace","Peace","Holiday","Wisdom","Fear","Forgiveness","Courage","Warning","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/11/29/black-kitty-black-friday.html", "title": "Black Kitty, Black Friday", "content_html": "2 Peter 1:5-9 NIV
![\"Black](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/af6ab00d63.jpg\")
“Little Black Kitty - Big Black Friday”
We have to go to town today. Ugh! I avoid Black Friday like the plague. But, we are having our family Thanksgiving on Sunday and there are fresh things I need to buy to prepare. Mr. FixIt was lamenting because Walmart will be crazy. We almost forget about real stand alone grocery stores and they should be less chaotic. My favorite store in the area is the Kroger over in Belpre. It’s as close to a Denver grocery as I have ever found here.
\nYesterday was a beautiful day…just the two of us. We cleaned house a little. Mr. FixIt shampooed the carpet down the hall. I made the brine for the turkey. We washed the windows in the family room. I am so glad to get the bathroom fixtures and tools out of there…it needed a good cleaning. We put up the tree and it made me miss my Colorado peeps…a lot.
\nI talked to my brother yesterday and I FaceTimed with Daughter #1. She was cooking her Thanksgiving Dinner as we chatted. My son-in-law was in the background, peeling potatoes. As I watched her, she told me what she was doing. She took her phone and focused on each dish and told me how she made it. She makes this really great Sausage-Cranberry Stuffing. I asked her about making sweet potatoes and she showed me a trick I had never heard of before.
\nFirst, she cleans, peels, and cubes her sweet potatoes. Then she puts brown sugar in the bottom of a CrockPot to the depth of her first knuckle. She puts the cubed sweet potatoes on top and pats them down a little, and dabs about 3 tbsp of butter on top. Cover and turn on low for 2.5 hours or so, then turn to high. Stir gently every once in a while to coat the potatoes with the brown sugar. The sweet potatoes have enough moisture in them, you don’t have to add liquid. When they are fork tender, turn the CrockPot to warm. She throws miniature marshmallows on top at that point and they melt and get gooey by serving time. I don’t usually add marshmallows to my sweet potatoes because I don’t like them that sweet. Her late grandpa taught her how to make them. We really miss Pop, so I’m happy to have one of his recipes.
\nAs I was washing the windows in the family room, the little kitty sat so regally out in the yard watching my every move. She is growing fast and will go in Monday to be spayed. I’m glad we decided to stay home because it was snowing in the mountains about the time we would have been driving through. I’m hoping to have some time to knit today, because I didn’t even pick it up yesterday. And, tomorrow I need to start cooking. I hope you all celebrated Thanksgiving in a way that brought you peace.
\nIf you are heading out to shop on Black Friday, let me share something with you I saw online.
\nLook around.
\nAll that clutter, used to be money.
\nAnd that money used to be time.
\nMaybe consider experiences instead of too much stuff.
\nWhen you’re dead and gone…no one will ever say, “Gosh, I wish Grandma would have bought me more stuff.” They’ll miss YOU. Six months from now, they won’t remember what you gave them, but they’ll remember spending special time with you.
\n“Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-11-29T02:30:59-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/11/29/black-kitty-black-friday.html", "tags": ["Family","Positive Energy","Gratitude","Holiday","Wisdom","Aging","Choices","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/11/26/tuesday-truth-when-you-canstep.html", "title": "Tuesday Truth: When You CAN...Step Away", "content_html": "Psalms 90:12 NIV
![\"Meme\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/8c837d2539.jpg\")
“It’s OK to step away!”
Do you have trouble stepping away from toxic relationships? Do you find you are people pleasing yourself into a corner? Are you feeling pressed into doing traditional holiday things even though you would rather not? Or maybe you just can’t face your ____________ (insert relative/friend here) this year…or ANY year? Well, I’m going to do something here…pay very close attention.
\nStep away.
\nIf you need “permission” then, here…I’m giving you permission.
\nHolidays can be especially difficult if you’re grieving. Or if you have underlying health issues. Or, you know…if you happen to be human. If you are over the age of consent, holidays can be much more painful than they are pleasurable.
\nFor the last month, I’ve been really looking forward to going over to my cousin’s house for Thanksgiving. I don’t get to see her nearly often enough and this year it was for a very brief visit last month. I love to go and stay over a couple of days, but circumstances change. There are health issues with some of the older generation over there. Last year we left here early Thanksgiving morning, drove over, discovered my aunt had fallen and she and my uncle couldn’t attend dinner, so Mr. FixIt and I packed up a dinner for them and drove it to his house. This added another hour of driving…each way. Then, after our Thanksgiving meal back at my cousin’s house, we got in the tuck and drove home. It made for a very long day and was not relaxing nor fun even though it was great to see everyone.
\nWhen I returned on Halloween from the six week camping excursion with the rpod and discovered we had a new kitten, everything changed. Now there are no more impromptu trips and I am not up for a drive-by. I took the self-care approach and opted out. Now we can work hard to finish the back bathroom this week and get the sink, toilet, and shower stall out of our living room in time for our family gathering on Sunday.
\nSometimes it’s a sibling. Or an aging parent. You may feel guilty for stepping away, but as I tell you so often, you cannot fill someone else with an empty cup. WE are no good to anyone, including ourselves, if we continue putting ourselves in situations that are toxic and abusive.
\nI know, I know…there are times when you may be the only one that person has. There may be situations where you are a caregiver and there IS no other option. If you feel stuck…it’s ok to look for options. It’s ok to step away and take care of yourself. It’s ok to stay home and eat a hotdog for Thanksgiving if that will give you more peace. Surround yourself with the people who love you and lift you up and celebrate you if that’s what you want to do. But…give yourself permission to stay home if you need to. It’s ok.
\n❤️
\n“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-11-26T02:30:07-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/11/26/tuesday-truth-when-you-canstep.html", "tags": ["Health","Family","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Growth","New Ideas","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Fear","Forgiveness","Courage","Aging","Choices","Change","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/11/25/motivation-monday-kindness-matters.html", "title": "Motivation Monday: Kindness Matters!", "content_html": "1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NIV
![\"Kindness](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/f6bb02f14d.jpg\")
“Just be kind because…kindness matters!”
I miss Mr. Rogers. I want to go see the Tom Hanks movie while it’s in the theater because I need a giant dose of his goodness. I wonder what he would think of our “neighborhood” now? After a week of watching grown a$$ men on national television acting like petulant two years olds (and I’m not choosing sides here…there was all kinds of nasty all the way around)…kindness seems to have left the building.
\nBut has it really gone away completely? Or is it just buried somewhere below the fold because, like sex, all forms of violence sells much more than kindness? I comb the news everyday for the feel-good stories….for the tales of heroes and shining stars. They’re out there…but man, you sure have to look hard for them.
\nLet’s look at some inspiring stories that happened this month. After a scheduling snafu at a Waffle House in Birmingham, Alabama left a young man all alone to man the entire restaurant, kind customers noticed what was happening and jumped in to do everything from wash dishes to wait tables and deliver food. No one made a big deal about it. They just got up and helped…no questions asked.
\nThe manager of a New York Bagel shop got a frantic call from a customer. She left her car keys on the counter of the bagel shop. She had left her car running while she ran in to pick up her order and didn’t miss the keys till she was at her destination several hours away. At that point, she was unable to start her car. The shop manager jumped in his car, took the keys to the customer in Pennsylvania, then turned right around and drove back so he could open the store the next morning.
\nA man with no kids of his own paid off the lunch debt for every child in nine Florida schools.
\nA boss paid off his employee’s mortgage so the Vietnam vet could retire.
\nA hospital in Pittsburgh knitted little cardigans and dressed every baby like Mr. Rogers for World Kindness Day.
\nThere are kind people out there. Please don’t let the nastiness we see color the way we see everyone. One of the most important things I learned from the hearings last week is this…Russia is very, very busy sowing seeds of discord in our country. They want neighbor to turn against neighbor. They are the ones sitting back in glee, watching our country self destruct.
\nI say we fight back. I say we stand up and say enough is enough. When I wasn’t spending every day at the farm anymore, I walked around the perimeter of the property with my grandma’s Bible and proclaimed to the enemy that he had no dominion there to protect the home and property. We can do the same thing for our homes, our cars, our property, our neighborhoods. We can proclaim our boundaries. We can reclaim our lives. We can salvage kindness, and it may not be easy.
\nLook for the helpers. Ask for discernment and watch out for the insidious encroachment of evil in our midst. Stop reacting to everything and ask yourself, “Is this information true? Where/who is it coming from?” I know you can’t put smoke back in a bottle, but we can sure try to raise the kindness titer in this world by spreading it in our own sphere of influence. There IS good…you just have to change your focus and look for it.
\n❤️
\n“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,”\n\n \n", "date_published": "2019-11-25T02:30:55-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/11/25/motivation-monday-kindness-matters.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Positive Energy","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/11/24/refill-your-cup.html", "title": "Refill Your Cup", "content_html": "Galatians 5:22 NIV
![\"Baby](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/744eea5f4e.jpg\")
“You can’t fill someone else with an empty cup.”
I met the Coffee Divas from my high school class yesterday. We try to meet once a month or so but I’ve been gone so much this year, it’s been a little less than that. When I returned from my WV tour in the Girl Camper charity raffle trailer, I was really ready to just be at home for a little bit. I wouldn’t say I was burned out…that sounds so negative and it wasn’t a negative kind of feeling at all. I just missed home and missed my sweet Mr. FixIt and I was ready to just be in one place and not move for a while.
\nThere were eight of us at coffee yesterday. We are all so different…yet so similar. We’ve gone through a lot of the same things…sometimes at the same time…sometimes not. The wonderful thing about being “of a certain age” is our ability to relate to so many different experiences. One of my friends lost her mom a year ago Friday. She’s been experiencing all the things the come with that and I was so happy to see her reaching out as she lifts herself up from that slump we all go through in the year after a significant loss.
\nOne of the gals had never been to one of our coffees. She knew some of us but not all. I never knew her in school, but she knew Mr. FixIt. She is introverted, as so many are. And she was stretching her boundaries to reach out and make new friends. That is not an easy thing to do when you’re sixty-six. We welcomed her with open arms. I watched a change come over her as the two hours passed. When she came in, her shoulders were tense…her eyes searching for a familiar face. By the time she left, her eyes danced and her dazzling smile said she had reached a happy place. Her cup was being filled.
\nAs we chatted about the places we find ourselves on this journey, I told the girls we cannot expect to fill others with an empty cup. We have to get replenished…to drink from the well and be filled ourselves. I told them…it is not selfish to practice self-care. I love that we are there for each other…this variety of women whose singular most common thread is the high school class we graduated from.
\nI feel so much better now after being home a few weeks. I’ve rested. I’m sleeping well. I’ve had lots of hugs from my sweetheart and snuggled my great grandbabies. This week is Thanksgiving. Our plans are fluid. We might go to my cousin’s house. We might just stay home. Our local family Thanksgiving celebration is next Sunday. This is a week for all of us to reflect on the blessings we have…whether we are on the mountain top…or in a dark valley.
\nThis is our time to look for ways to fill up our cups. When I look to God first as my Source, I’m filled with Living Water. When I look to my loved ones second, I’m filled with the blessings He has already given me. As you walk into this week, may you remember to fill your cup first so you can be a fount of inspiration for others. And may you encounter peace and love.
\n❤️
\n“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-11-24T02:30:55-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/11/24/refill-your-cup.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Fun","Growth","Gratitude","Wisdom","Courage","Aging","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/11/21/sensory-overload.html", "title": "Sensory Overload", "content_html": "Romans 15:13 NIV
![\"Black](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/f374f62342.jpg\")
“Here’s a soft kitty to take your mind off of things!”
It’s a well known fact…I hate television. I’ve spent long stretches of time in my life without watching TV and have never missed it. But, I’ve always owned one and had basic cable. I found that to be particularly important when I lived alone out at the family farm here in West Virginia. If there was some kind of alert or a national emergency or impending bad weather, it was important to me to be able to tune in for updates. I just never sit in front of the TV watching endless hours of mindless drivel. That is, until the hearings started.
\nOh. My. Gosh. I feel like it is my civic duty to watch to see what is happening AND to further educate myself on the material being presented. I have now watched more television over the course of three days than I have watched in the last decade…total. My head is screaming. My eyes hurt and feel like I have sand in them. My ears are ringing. I’m nauseous and agitated. My temper is short. My memory is shorter.
\nHow on earth do people watch TV all the time? Maybe it’s the material. I’m having to concentrate really hard. I also have to pause the proceedings every once in a while and Google a term or a name to keep track of what’s happening. I’m miserable, but I’m bound and determined to see it through to be an informed American.
\nThat being said, there were several times when I had to ask Mr. FixIt to pause the TV and let me have a break. At which point I went outside for kitty snuggles. Every time I opened the door, this little bundle of sweetness came running for me to pick her up and tuck her in my sweater. We walked around and I listened to the steady rumble of her purr. I talked to her softly and told her what a sweet kitty she is. When my attention seemed to wander, she took her paw and gently touched my face to bring me back to her. Sometimes she would move up and snuggle her head right under my chin.
\nWhen sanity returned and the kitten went off to chase a leaf or pounce on a branch blowing in the breeze, I came back in and watched some more. It’s oddly addictive, like watching a train wreck and you can’t look away. Which, I suppose in many ways…it is. These are crazy times we live in…no matter what side of the aisle you sit on. I don’t know how much more of this I can watch…AND…I don’t want to miss anything.
\nWith that…let me offer you a little black kitten to look at to take your mind off it all.
\n❤️
\n“Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-11-21T02:30:59-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/11/21/sensory-overload.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Wisdom","Warning","Choices","The Cats"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/11/19/healing-and-scars-and-joy.html", "title": "Healing and Scars and Joy", "content_html": "Psalms 139:23-24 NIV
![\"Grief](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/04875913bf.jpg\")
“Although grief is never finished, healing can occur and you can use your scars to help others.”
Grief doesn’t run in a straight line. Anything but. We’d love to see the slow and steady climb from that deep, dark valley head right up the side of that mountain to joy. But, unfortunately…it just doesn’t happen that way. Grief runs all skwiggly-skwog…up and down, back and forth, around and around and around.
\nAt first you don’t think you are making any progress at all. You can’t feel anything but pain. You cant see two minutes in front of you. It’s a bloody wonder we survive at all. The world is dark. No color…no sound…and certainly no joy.
\nOne of the things people had the hardest time understanding in my early writing was the “gems in the flames”. I always looked for those gifts God left for me along my path as he led me through the fire. This wasn’t just a Pollyanna attempt to keep my glass half full. This was an exercise in faith knowing that…even in my darkest, most painful moments…my cup was still full to overflowing because Jesus was in that valley with me. Urging me on. Asking me to trust Him and just take one more step.
\nIt’s easy to have faith when things are looking good. When you’re standing on the mountaintop and you’re feeling great, you may even forget to thank God for carrying you through the muck. Or, you might throw a cursory “Thanks!” His way then think “I’ve got this!” No, it’s when you’re down at your lowest…when life is hard and painful and dirty and ugly…and you beg for God to catch you and bring you out of this that you lean in closest.
\nWhen you’re walking the road of grief and things hurt so bad and grieving tears your heart out of your chest, you may very well be tempted to take a shortcut. Circumvent the whole process, push that nasty wad of grief way, way down deep inside and slap a smile on your face. Because, let’s face it…that’s what the world is usually asking you to do. “Aren’t you over this yet?” “You just need to _____________” (fill in the blank with any of a zillion suggestions you receive). The sheer variety of platitudes is mind numbing.
\nOh, you can try to walk around it or climb under it, but one of these days, that bandage is going to come off and you’re going to have to face grief head on and it’s going to be ten times worse than it was before. At least, that’s what happened with me when I tried to date someone way…WAY too soon after Mr. Virgo died.
\nEven four years after Mr. Virgo died and I started dating Mr. Fixit, I was still pretty broken. Fortunately, he has a huge heart and an infinite amount of patience with me. He allowed me to talk it all through with him. He’s a great listener. Then one day, I didn’t feel compelled to talk about it as much and my heart truly started to heal.
\nMr. Virgo came along when I was in a really vulnerable place. I had gone through a particularly difficult and ugly breakup/divorce five years before. And still, for the first year, that man listened oh so patiently as I went though all the gory details and told him every sad and angry story. He saw the potential and he invested in our love.
\nBoth of these men love me with the white hot heat of the sun. Neither relationship would have ever worked had I not already worked through a lot of the pain of grief…both that of divorce and that of death. Those two men I dated between Mr. Virgo’s death and Mr. FixIt’s arrival though? Oy! I bled all over them from wounds they never caused. It wasn’t fair to them. I hate that I was blind and couldn’t see past my own need for a tourniquet.
\nFortunately, I did come to some understanding how unfair it was to another person to try to have a relationship too soon. That’s when I stopped trying to date and started a serious relationship with Jesus. Then…when I was in a much better place…I was ready to open my heart and try again. It isn’t easy. There’s nothing about grief that is easy. And if you are in the throes of it, you will not understand this, but…I’ve come to look at every situation with a level of Joy. Maybe not jump up and down happy-happy joy. But with the Joy of knowing I have a Father in Heaven who loves me and will never, ever leave me. I have Jesus to hang onto when I go through the worst of situations. THAT Joy….that Joy with a capital “J”.
\nThere is Joy in the scars because you have the opportunity to share your story with others. You have the opportunity to reach back to others coming behind you who are trying to find their footing in their pain. Your scars give you the freedom to love others. Your scars give you validity. They show others they aren’t alone. And when you can be there for another who hurts like you once hurt, you give the greatest gift possible. Empathy.
\nYou don’t have to have flowery words. You don’t have to offer Hallmark phrases. You can give a hug, sit quietly, or just be honest and say, “Whew…I don’t know what to say, but I’m here for you.” It’s isn’t easy to be there for someone who’s in pain, but it is so fulfilling to know you can somehow help another human being when they’re hurting.
\nBeing vulnerable. Being available. Being open and honest. That is where I find my Joy in grief.
\n❤️
\n“Lord my God, I called to you for help, and you healed me.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-11-19T02:30:14-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/11/19/healing-and-scars-and-joy.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Growth","God","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/11/16/good-fences-make-good-neighbors.html", "title": "Good Fences Make Good Neighbors: Setting and Keeping Boundaries", "content_html": "Psalms 30:2 NIV
![\"Fence\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/7fc7e48aa5.jpg\")
“Setting boundaries is like building a good fence. It keeps life neat and tidy.”
Growing up in a dysfunctional home in the ‘50s and ‘60s with an alcoholic father taught me a lot of things. But how to set and keep boundaries was not one of them. Heck, I didn’t have a clue what the term meant. My family of origin was so codependent, there was very little demarcation between where I ended and where others started.
\nThis carried into my adult relationships. I married men who were equally codependent and it nearly killed me. After Hubby #2 and I split up, I bought Melody Beattie’s book…Codependent No More. It was eye opening. I will never forget the day I drew the line in the sand, creating a kind of demilitarized zone between us. The look on his face was “shock and awe”.
\nThat was the day I began to own myself. I set clear boundaries and expectations. I demanded respect because, for the first time in my life, I felt true self respect. It was liberating. As I’ve gotten older, there are some boundaries set in stone, but others have become a little more flexible offering some give and take while still keeping the searchlights on the perimeter.
\nI was watching the hearings yesterday for the Impeachment Inquiry. I was impressed at the poise and dignity shown by the former U.S. ambassador, Marie Yovanovitch. She never lost her cool. She answered with the aplomb one would expect from a seasoned diplomat. That is, until one of the female panel members (I’m sorry, I cannot remember her name) started a line of questioning that got personal.
\nHer question…how did this affect you…elicited a guarded response. “I am a very private person, but…well, it’s been difficult.”
\n“How has this affected your family?”
\nWomen recognize the look on the ambassador’s face. She was crumbling behind that mask. Then, instead of capitulating and answering, she said, “I’d really rather not answer that…” immediately followed with a sincere, “but, thank you for asking.” That’s a boundary. I know it sounds condescending, but I felt so proud of her in that moment.
\nWomen are programmed from a very young age that it isn’t polite not to answer someone’s question. That’s ridiculous. Just because someone asks does NOT mean you need to answer. This boundary can come in very handy when you are a widow. You can say no. You can change your mind. What sounded great three weeks ago may not work when it comes down to going. It’s ok to say no. It’s ok to change your mind.
\nI was talking with Daughter #1 last night. She was telling me about Big being on two swim teams…the competitive club team and her high school team. The new high school coach wants all the team members to come to swim practice all the time. So does the club coach. My granddaughter is all of 15 and she has set boundaries for what she can and cannot achieve. They need her because she’s good. She isn’t being a prima dona about it…she just knows her limitations. The coach tried a threatening tactic. “If you don’t come to all the practices, you won’t letter.” “That’s ok I just want to swim with my friends and be on the team I already lettered for swimming .” As a matter of fact, she’s lettered in swimming and academics (STEM) and has been inducted in the National Honor Society. Yeah, she’s good without the threats.
\nIt warmed my heart to hear how my daughter stood up for and respected her own daughter’s boundaries. This is how we raise healthy young women to be strong and stand up for themselves. Because today it’s the swim team. Tomorrow it’s the college professors or coaches or football players. She needs to be able to set and keep boundaries for her own health and safety.
\nMaking and keeping boundaries was a new life skill that I didn’t learn until I was in my 50’s. Now I’m at the point where I relish the opportunities to help younger people establish this skill in their own lives. It’s not only valuable, it’s absolutely necessary to protect your mental and physical self.
\n❤️
\n“Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else, for each one should carry their own load.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-11-16T02:30:26-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/11/16/good-fences-make-good-neighbors.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Growth","Wisdom","Courage","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/11/15/date-night-at-rural-king.html", "title": "Date Night at Rural King", "content_html": "Galatians 6:4-5 NIV
![\"WV](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/04e4bcd721.jpg\")
“What a beautiful night for a date at Rural King…my favorite farm store!”
A couple of days ago, Mr. FixIt needed to go into town to get a special drill bit. He’s back to working on our master bath! We have to fit in home jobs when the grass isn’t growing and he’s finished with all the outside jobs he does. When the weather turned cold, I came in off the road from my camping tour and we set to doing the things around here that have been put on hold.
\nThe big outside job Mr. FixIt has been working on is the huge covered front porch he built on the front of his ex-wife’s house. One of my bonus granddaughters told me there are people who don’t understand how I’m ok with that. Well, first off…she’s paying him, so it’s a job. But, beyond that, why on earth would I, or SHOULD I be upset by that?
\nShe is the mother of his children. They share grandchildren and great grandchildren. She’s a wonderful person and I just love her. Our granddaughter told the person she was talking to that she thinks it’s awesome that we all get along and talk to each other. It makes it so much easier for the family if they aren’t being torn by split loyalties. Couples may divorce. But you don’t divorce your family. And as far as I’m concerned, we are all family.
\nAnyway, he’s finished with all but just a little touch up over there and that has to wait till spring for good weather. And now we’re focused on getting things done at home. That prompted the trip to town. He asked if I wanted to ride along with him. Listen, this man knows me. He didn’t have to ask twice to get me to go to Rural King and Lowe’s.
\nI love home improvement stores and farm stores. I needed to get a heated water dish for the kitten just to make sure she always has fresh water available. Rural King has them…AND free popcorn! As we came out of the store, the entire sky was bright pink all the way around us. It was like being inside a big pink bubble. I love the sunsets at this time of year. They seem to be so vibrant. After the fun stops, we went to our favorite pizza place…Pete’s Pizza. Honestly…the best pizza I think I have ever had comes out of this little family owned restaurant in Mineral Wells, WV.
\nI went to the farm yesterday to make sure all is well. I unplugged the pump in case the gas should go off and a pipe should freeze and burst. Wouldn’t want to flood the basement and burn out the pump. This cold spell has kept the Asian Lady Beetles at bay and I only swept up about a half a cup of them this time. I still haven’t been brave enough to go upstairs to look.
\nWhen I went into the cellar house to unplug the pump, I saw there was a lot of white, hairy mold growing on the wood of the old potato bin. The cellar house is no longer water tight so it’s always damp in there. Next summer, when we have a dry spell, we need to open up that door and air it out. I also need to spray the mold with a bleach solution, I think. I will do some research on that. It isn’t the black mold that is so toxic. Maybe I’ll take the dehumidifier from the bathroom and put it out there for the winter. That would solve two problems. First, it would decrease the humidity. But a dehumidifier also puts off a fair amount of heat…enough to keep the pipes on the pump from freezing when we get a REALLY cold snap.
\nWhen you live in the country, and you have an endless list of chores that need doing, you have to find your date nights where you can get them. Mr. FixIt is a lucky man…I like hardware, power tools…and pizza!
\n❤️
\n“The Lord will send a blessing on your barns and on everything you put your hand to. The Lord your God will bless you in the land he is giving you.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-11-15T02:30:39-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/11/15/date-night-at-rural-king.html", "tags": ["Family","Overcoming Obstacles","West Virginia","The Farm","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/11/14/a-new-approach-to-winter.html", "title": "A New Approach to Winter", "content_html": "Deuteronomy 28:8 NIV
![\"Winter](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/837537ab94.jpg\")
“Making choices to find more joy…that’s my approach to winter this year.”
I started dreading winter with a vengeance after Mr. Virgo died. I wasn’t crazy about it a long time before that, but after he died the snow shovel only had one name on it and that was mine. Before long, I began to dread fall because winter wasn’t far behind. While I was out on the West Virginia Tour in the RPod, it began to dawn on me how negative this was becoming.
\nI can’t change the weather. I can change my geographic location, which I’ve done. Just moving to West Virginia has added at least two full months of warmer weather with a longer growing season. If I wanted to get away from cold weather entirely, I’d have to move much further south and for now, that isn’t in the cards for Mr. FixIt and me.
\nWe love West Virginia. It’s our home…the home of our hearts. It took me a long time to get back here. I’m not about to go someplace else at this point. So, that leaves the adjustment up to me. I saw this meme the other day and it really hit home. I can choose to hate winter, and now fall because winter is right after it. I’ll be miserable and consequently make everyone around me miserable. Because, we’re still going to have the same amount of snow and cold weather no matter if I’m happy or sad.
\nWhen I was a little girl and would get upset, my grandma would tell me to just “scratch my mad place and get glad”. In other words, get over it kiddo…you’re not in control of everything. This year I’ve decided to scratch my mad place by embracing all the wonderful things I can do in the colder months that I can’t do in the summer.
\nI have a much better winter wardrobe than summer. I can look forward to wearing my really pretty sweaters and boots, hats and coats.
\nI never drink hot beverages other than coffee in the summer. In the fall and winter, I pull out my tea pot and enjoy a cuppa in the middle of the afternoon. Or, I can hug a mug of hot cocoa with yummy, gooey, melty marshmallows in it.
\nIt’s way too hot in the summer to bake so I indulge in trying out new recipes in the cooler months. I’ve always wanted to try my hand at baking sourdough bread. So this winter I’m going to order some sourdough starter and see what I can do.
\nWinter has given us the break we need from outdoor chores so Mr. FixIt is back at work on the master bath. While he’s doing that, I am going to steam off the wallpaper in the dining room, paint the walls, and put up new curtains. Then we can tackle the main bath.
\nI haven’t touched my book since February. This winter, in my down time, I’m going to try to wrap that up once and for all then we can focus on getting it published.
\nWe have a new great grandson coming in January!
\nWe always try to get down to Florida in February and that’s something I always look forward to.
\nHaving goals allows me to set joyful things in front of me…something that has helped me ever since Mr. Vigo died. Just reading this list makes me feel far less frustrated by the cold weather. The meme is right…there will be the same amount of cold, no matter what. I might as well embrace it.
\n❤️
\n“The animals take cover; they remain in their dens. The tempest comes out from its chamber, the cold from the driving winds. The breath of God produces ice, and the broad waters become frozen.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-11-14T02:30:56-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/11/14/a-new-approach-to-winter.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Positive Energy","Fun","Growth","New Ideas","Peace","Wisdom","Aging","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/11/12/shelves-of-memories.html", "title": "Shelves of Memories", "content_html": "Job 37:8-10 NIV
![\"Jelly](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/55068da522.jpg\")
“The antique jelly cupboard from the farm now houses my quilts.”
When I showed you my beautiful jelly cupboard that I recently moved from the farm, many of you asked to see it when I had the quilts inside. As I sat working in the living room at the Ponderosa yesterday afternoon, the warm sunshine streaming through the big windows made its way to the cupboard. The shelves sat empty and glaring at me. I set my work aside and went on the hunt for my quilts. They have been put away since the wedding a year ago and it was about time they were brought out for all to see.
\nI am of the mindset not to “save the good china”. I want what few antiques I have curated to be displayed and used in my everyday life. Part of this is because my kids more than likely will not be interested in them. And partly because one of the lessons Mr. Virgo unwittingly taught me was…life is short. Use the crystal and the quilts.
\nWhen the unfortunate parting of the ways came on Christmas of 2014, just ten weeks after I arrived to help my Aunt Peeps, I didn’t know what to do with the cherished items I brought from Colorado. Five thousand pounds of stuff I didn’t believe I could part with became an albatross around my neck. I couldn’t leave it at the farm and I couldn’t take it with me on the road. My good friend, Steve, let me store a lot of it in his basement. And I decided many of the most cherished family keepsakes should go live with my cousin, Tammy. That way I can visit them and she can enjoy them.
\nMy quilts were one of the things I simply could not part with and I carefully stored them away for the perfect way to display them again. Once they were safely tucked on the aged bittersweet colored shelves of the jelly cupboard, I sat back to observe my handiwork. I realized something heartwarming.
\nFor the last few years, I have been dreading the day when I can no longer visit or spend time in Grandma’s old red farmhouse. That day will come…when, I don’t know. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned in my life, it is that change is the only thing we can count on in this earthy plane. As I sat and looked at the worn wood the color of a caramel apple, I realized I could feel the farmhouse. I could see the hump in the floor where it’s settled over the years. The old faded linoleum that made cleaning much easier. I could hear the squeak of the stairs and the way the spring squeals when the screen door slams. I could see the boxes of Wheaties that Pop-Pop kept on the top of the cupboard for his dessert after supper. I could hear the faint sound the doors made when I reached in as a little girl…taking the mishmash collection of dishes out to set the table or putting them back in after hand washing and drying.
\nIn that moment I realized that, even though the house may someday be inaccessible to me, this jelly cupboard is the heart of what is left of the beautiful childhood memories created within the crooked walls of a crooked little house in West Virginia. And…it is mine. Combining households with Mr. FixIt has definitely expanded our “footprint”, however…we each have things that are our personal possessions. While I don’t believe I will ever accumulate “stuff” like I did before Mr. Virgo died, what I do have will be things that are beautiful, useful, and that bring me joy.
\n❤️
\n“That precious memory triggers another...”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-11-12T02:30:47-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/11/12/shelves-of-memories.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Strong Women","Positive Energy","West Virginia","The Farm","Gratitude","Comfort","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Aging","Downsizing"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/11/11/tell-me-about-yourself.html", "title": "Tell Me About Yourself", "content_html": "2 Timothy 1:5-7 MSG
![\"Monday](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/bcf843108c.jpg\")
“It’s Monday…Let’s do something different!”
It’s Monday! It’s a brand new week and I wanted to do something different. We will be heading into the holidays soon and I’ve been reading posts where people already have their holiday shopping done. And wrapped! I wish I could say the same…but I’ve been a little busy!
\nDo you, or someone close to you, have an online business that sells gifts appropriate for holiday gifting or decorating? If so, please leave a link to your website or favorite item in the comments. I’m all about supporting small businesses and independent artisans.
\nAre you a writer, poet, artist, photographer, singer, songwriter, actor, or other creative? Drop a link to your content or social media sites. I’m all about supporting creative people.
\nDo you have a special talent you’d like to share? Is there something about you that’s fascinating? Do you have a story that needs telling that might help someone else? Tell us in the comments below or give us a link to share. I’m all about promoting people in their efforts to gain a platform.
\nI was thinking about this in church yesterday. It’s not always all about me. God has given me this wonderful platform to touch the loves of others. It shouldn’t be just through my words. It should also be through yours. Everyone has a story. Everyone has a gift…a talent…a skill. Stories should be told because they will always help someone else. Talents and gifts should be shared as examples of what God does in our lives. We are here to lift each other up and I’d love to start out the week with a stepping stone.
\nWhat do YOU do? Where are YOU from? What moves YOU? Let’s learn about each other.
\n❤️
\n“And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-11-11T02:30:15-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/11/11/tell-me-about-yourself.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Positive Energy","Gratitude","Holiday","Wisdom","Choices","Monday Morning Motivation"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/11/10/walking-among-the-headstones.html", "title": "Walking Among The Headstones", "content_html": "Hebrews 13:16 NIV
![\"Old](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/7680fbcfab.jpg\")
“Walking among the dead, speaking their names.”
I’ve always been drawn to old cemeteries. The headstones that are crooked and worn, the names fading away with time till someday…no one knows who the departed was nor to whom they were dear. There is always a note of sadness in that. I’ve had people say as long as you continue to speak of him and keep him in your heart, he’s still with you. Yes…and no. HIs memory is always and forever with me. He is not. He is gone…never to return. The finality struck me deeply in the second year of my grief journey when I was no longer numb and couldn’t pretend anymore.
\nWhat happens to these old headstones and the people they hover over? When no one ever speaks the names because they are gone from the memory of those who came after? In my genealogy research, I visited the graves of my great great grandparents. But I didn’t know them. I had never met them. The only thing I knew were maybe a couple of stories and a glimpse of what they looked like in a grainy photograph of a photograph. My children, grandchildren, great grandchildren? What will they know of them if I don’t tell them or write it down.
\nThat is one of the ripple effects of this blog. What started out as my way of walking through a very dark valley has turned, not only into a chronicle of my life and travels, but that of the generations before me. I hope someday that my great great grandchildren will read the words I’ve set down here and see the photographs I’ve posted. I want them to know and understand their roots. I want them to know ME. Then maybe, when the letters have faded from my own headstone, they’ll have a part of me that still lives on. A legacy, as it were.
\nIt is a Jewish tradition to place a small stone on a headstone you have visited. That way, when others come, they know someone has been there to honor their loved one. I remember the first time I went to visit Mr. Virgo’s grave after someone left something there for him. It was a pack of his favorite cigarettes. I’ve found new stones in the circle surrounding his grave as well as the occasional golf ball or coin. It’s good to know others remember him. His family have largely cut all contact with me, so I have no idea if they ever come to visit him. They all live out of state, so I doubt it seriously.
\nI only go to Colorado once a year now. I always visit the cemetery as many times as I can. I clean up his grave and replace the stones in the circle. I always leave something to mark when I’ve visited. This past summer, I noticed how grown up the cemetery was because of the heavy spring rains. Yet, Mr. Virgo’s grave was weeded and neat as a pin. I stopped the groundskeeper my last visit of the trip and thanked him. When I moved away in 2014, I pressed a crisp $100 bill in his hand and implored him to look after the grave as I wouldn’t be there regularly anymore. With tears in his eyes, he swore he would. And he has.
\nThe cemetery in this photo is in Twin Falls State Park here in West Virginia. What struck me first was the markers. There were the typical headstones…these with hand carved names indicating the poverty and remoteness of the region and the times. There were also stones at the foot of the grave. This gave a true visual of how many of these graves were occupied by children. The closer these stones were together, the younger the child. Well over half the graves were those of young children. Primitive rural healthcare, rampant infectious diseases, and poverty all contributed to high mortality in children prior to the twentieth century. I found several instances in my own genealogy research where families lost multiple children within days of each other.
\nI don’t know that visiting graves is something that interests the younger generations. I was raised going. We even had picnics in the cemetery on Decoration Day where my paternal ancestors are buried. I took my kids, but I don’t know that they will continue that with their own children. Maybe when they are older and feel their own mortality creeping in. We all seem to change our priorities as we approach the finish line, don’t we?
\n❤️
\n““Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?””\n\n", "date_published": "2019-11-10T02:30:51-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/11/10/walking-among-the-headstones.html", "tags": ["Family","West Virginia","Grace","Peace","Wisdom","Humbled","Aging","Choices","Change","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/11/08/dying-for-a-sandwich.html", "title": "Dying For a Sandwich?", "content_html": "1 Corinthians 15:55 NIV
![\"Popeye’s](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/02d8ce696f.jpg\")
“Popeye’s chicken sandwich…does it live up to the hype? Meh.”
Who remembers the Cabbage Patch Kid shortage of 1983? Parents were beating each other over the heads to get the last doll so little Susie wouldn’t be disappointed come Christmas morning. There were adults…fighting over a toy…at Christmastime. Peace on Earth…fa-la-la-la-la!
\nThen, there was the McRib from McDonald’s. Shortages caused a feeding frenzy the likes of which would make any Great White proud. And now? Now people are getting killed. Over a sandwich.
\nOver the weekend, a man in Maryland cut in the “sandwich only” line at a Popeye’s and another customer took exception to this breach of fast food etiquette. They took it outside and it left one man dead and another on the run.
\nA woman in California drove her Mercedes around a line of cars at a Popeye’s drive-through so she could cut in at the front of the line, not giving a flip that she was literally ripping the side off her ‘cedes on the cement barrier that was put there to, you know…prevent this sort of madness from occurring.
\nPeople jumping over counters and beating fast food workers because they ran out of the sandwiches. People threatening to kill everyone in the restaurant if they didn’t get that coveted piece of fried fowl on a bun…with two slices of pickle and a dab of mayo.
\nWhat in the name of all things holy is going on in this world? Are we as a society this depraved? What is spurring this? I don’t know…was this a brilliant sales strategy from the folks on Madison Avenue? Did someone say… “I know…we’ll make a sandwich and we will tell everyone it is the best d*** sandwich they have ever tasted in their entire lives. We’ll give them some. We’ll interview some of the lucky few who got to taste it and they’ll all say… “OMGosh! It’s truly the best d*** sandwich I have ever had in my entire life!!!” And then we’ll say, “See? We told you so!” And then….THEN…we run out, see? We tell people, “You all love this sandwich SO much…we just couldn’t keep up!!! We’re going to go regroup and down the road (closer to the holidays…on a Sunday, when Chick-fil-A is closed…on National Sandwich Day) we’ll bring it back! We promise!!!”
\nSo, what happened? You guessed it…they’re “facing shortages” again. And the violence continues. I was in town yesterday. It was lunch time. I drove down the main drag and there was Popeye’s. And…no line! I thought…I’ll just see what all the hype is about. I pulled in, ordered my sandwich and a soda, and pulled off to the side to eat.
\nWas it good? Yeah, I have to admit, it was tender and juicy and flavorful. Did I swoon? Ummmm…no. I don’t usually swoon over food unless it’s cooked by a 5-Star Chef. It’s fast food. It’s a sandwich. As I munched slowly, I perused the internet reading about the atrocities committed in the name of 660 calories of greasy bird breast on bread.
\nI think I have an inkling of what’s playing out here. Remember the movie with the line, “I’m mad as hell…and I’m not gonna take it any more”? Remember people went to their windows and shouted at the world? People are mad as hell these days. They’re mad about everything and they want to be a part of something bigger than them. They want to BE somebody. They want to be included. They want some sort of bragging rights. And, for under $5, they can be somebody SPECIAL. They can say… “I was there!” “I had one!” “It was the BEST d*** chicken sandwich I ever had!”
\nIt’s like a last ditch effort and if it doesn’t work out, they’re taking everyone down with them. It’s crazy. It’s chaos. It’s a SANDWICH!
\nMomentum marketing. Social media exploding with pictures and over-the-top hyperbolic reviews ( because that’s what drives the clicks). A lot goes into rolling out a new menu item for a fast food chain. Research, limited releases in obscure little places to test the waters, intricate calculations of probable demand. This is the way it’s always been done. But we live in a different world now. We are a nation of sheep. And when someone yells “FIRE!”, we are far more likely to run INTO it than away. Not all of us…certainly. But way, WAY too many.
\nI had heartburn the rest of the day. Pass the Tums.
\n❤️
\n“But everything should be done in a fitting and orderly way.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-11-08T02:30:16-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/11/08/dying-for-a-sandwich.html", "tags": ["Wisdom","Warning","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/11/06/safety-on-the-road.html", "title": "Safety on the Road", "content_html": "1 Corinthians 14:40 NIV
![\"Camping](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/2dd8cdc79c.jpg\")
“Being safe in the woods means staying aware of your surroundings and listening to your gut.”
There were only two times on this last trip that my antennae went up as I paid close attention to what was happening around me. The first time was when I was at Calhoun County Park trying to see a meteor shower. This park only has eight campsites in the first place. And I was there in the middle of the week after school started so there was no one up there camping. There were people in the community building both evenings but they didn’t come over near me.
\nSometime after dark on the second night, a car drove slowly by my camper out to the end of the park and stayed there for about ten minutes. I turned off all the lights in the camper and peeked out from behind the blinds. The car came back and just drove right on by without slowing down, so the tension in my shoulders eased. Mr. FixIt told me he very nearly came out to camp with me out there but he resisted the urge.
\nThe second time I was even remotely concerned was at the last campground I stayed. Twin Falls is stunningly beautiful, as you can tell by the photos I took. But the campground itself is located on the very top of a long and winding mountain, pretty far away from the main park buildings. At this time of year, the campground office and store is closed and there wasn’t a campground host.
\nOn the first night, I read the story about the couple who were boondocking on South Padre Island and went missing. Then surveillance video showed a man and woman, not the owners, driving the truck and camper across the border into Mexico. They were later found buried in shallow graves on the beach. This freaked me out, I will not lie. The next evening, the man who was camping over on the next row walked through the woods between us to come talk to me when I pulled in after spending time at the lodge, writing.
\nHe told me he had tried to flag down the park worker who had just driven through the campground on a side-by-side but couldn’t catch his attention. He also said he didn’t have a phone so he couldn’t call anyone. He told me someone had come to the bath house earlier in the afternoon and their car was there for a couple of hours. After they had gone, this man went over to the bath house and someone had smeared feces all over one of the stalls in the men’s room.
\nOk, that was creepy, but the man seemed harmless enough. After all, he introduced himself by name. And I know stuff happens in campgrounds. I know how to handle myself and to watch what’s going on. I told him I would let someone at the park office know what had happened and he was grateful. As he turned to leave, he swung back around with a big smile and said, “I suppose you saw me all over the news last night!”
\nUm…no, I did not. I thought to myself…what did you do that put you on the news?
\nI swung the door of my truck closed. Then he proceeded to tell me he rode his bicycle all the way from California to look for the father he never knew. Apparently the news had followed him across the country on his quest. I wished him luck finding his dad and I went to tell someone about the men’s room.
\nThat was the night when the truck started making a grinding noise and the first thing that went through my head was “What do I do if I get stuck here? What if the bathroom vandal came back? What if “Bicycle Man” wanted to get friendly?” My imagination started to get the better of me and I had to pray myself to peace. And ask my gal pals to pray for me as well. And, I texted Mr. FixIt to come “help me check out this truck”.
\nI wasn’t really scared. But I was leery. And I was tired and a little road weary after six weeks of camping. It didn’t hurt a bit to get my strong, capable husband to come help me out and be my encourager. He told me he ran into one of my friends at the mall that week. She had been reading about my journey and she told Mr. FixIt she didn’t think she could do that and didn’t I get scared?
\n“Nope! She’s the bravest woman I know!”
\nKnowing he feels that way about me, and that he worries but lets me have my lead, makes me feel wonderful. I have spoken with my closest friends about this….I could never, EVER have done what I’m doing while I was married to Mr. Virgo. Not only did I lack the self confidence, but he would NOT have liked me being gone. He didn’t like me being gone for the weekend to Denver to see the kids. He wouldn’t have stood for me being gone the majority of six weeks. As a matter of fact, when we first started dating, he said he wasn’t interested in dating someone who wanted to spend much time apart.
\nMr. Virgo liked me being right there with him. When he watched TV, he liked me to watch TV with him. He didn’t like it if I was on the computer or the iPad or the phone either. Because, he wanted to discuss the show with me during the commercials. I did these things because I loved him, not because I loved watching TV. When you’re married, you do things sometimes that you don’t particularly enjoy. It’s called compromise.
\nMr. FixIt came into my life when I was a free-spirited, independent, remote-camping gypsy who spends long hours writing. He knew what he was getting and gives me space to grow and spread my wings. That’s one of the things I love about him. I make it up to him by traveling and going to the beach and never saying a word about his bowling two nights a week. I cook him yummy meals and take him camping whenever I can. We treat each other with respect, honoring each other’s interests, and we have a lot of fun together.
\nIt’s a win-win for us both.
\n❤️
\n“However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”\n\n \n", "date_published": "2019-11-06T02:30:14-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/11/06/safety-on-the-road.html", "tags": ["Faith","Overcoming Obstacles","Camping","West Virginia","Growth","goRVing","Wisdom","Courage","Warning","Choices","Widow","Road Trip","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/11/04/does-time-heal-all-wounds.html", "title": "Does Time Heal All Wounds?", "content_html": "Ephesians 5:33 NIV
![\"Time\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/4c33d304c7.jpg\")
“Does time heal all my wounds? Not in my time…but in God’s time.”
I’ve been struggling a little with re-entry. The rhythm of the road is different than that at home and I always have a bit of a hard time adjusting. It’s a little like the let down after the holidays…you know, when you have to get back to reality. Not that it’s a bad thing. It’s just always a little sad when the party is over.
\nYesterday morning I woke up at what seemed like a reasonable time with the time change. As I stretched and thanked God for letting me open my eyes to face another day, I went through my morning inventory. I noticed I felt a little down so I searched around in my mind as to what might be going on beyond the normal re-entry slump.
\nThen it came back to me. I was having a dream when I awoke. In my dream, I was sitting at a desk, going through my calendar, and realized it had been over six-and-a-half years since I had spoken with Mr. Virgo. In the dream, he hadn’t died…I had just seemed to have lost contact with him. I was really confused, like…did I go someplace and forget him? Did I tell him I’d call him when I got there and then just…didn’t? If that was the case, then why hadn’t he tried to contact me? What on earth was keeping him so tied up that he couldn’t find the time to text or call me? Then, of course, I woke up. And reality is reality. He is gone. I am here and happily married to Mr. FixIt. So, why did I have such a dream?
\nThere aren’t answers to that, really. I believe it was Freud who said, “a cigar is sometimes just a cigar”. There’s no reason to psychoanalyze every little thing. We have dreams. Things happen. Life moves with its own rhythm. Still, dreams like that can stir something deeper and create a ripple in the force.
\nThe day went on and was lovely. Church, breakfast, errands, a nice Sunday afternoon snooze. Then, I went into the bedroom for something and had that old familiar urge to call my mom. I always called her on Sunday evenings. I miss those calls and it made my heart ache a little. Then I thought of my kids and how busy they are and they don’t call me on Sunday evenings and…
\nThat particular snowball had to stop right there. It doesn’t do any good to go down that road and make myself miserable over things I have no control over. There are wounds that heal with time. They become so small they don’t even leave a scar. There are wounds that heal and leave visible scars. Then there are those that not only have the scars, but also have varying degrees of pain. Like the phantom pain of a leg long gone or a throbbing knee when it rains.
\nGrief and time. I see them like those models of DNA. A twisted ladder, connected and spiraling. Never really finished. Never quite tangible. Always affected by our emotional temperature. No…time doesn’t heal all wounds. But, God does. When I remember to stop trying to handle hot coals with my bare hands and give them to my Father to carry, my wounds are bound up. It’s just the remembering to turn them over that trips me up every time.
\n❤️
\n“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-11-04T02:30:36-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/11/04/does-time-heal-all-wounds.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Growth","Comfort","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Change","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/11/03/back-to-the-comforts-of.html", "title": "Back to the Comforts of Home", "content_html": "Psalms 147:3 NIV
![\"Camping](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/e6611dadc8.jpg\")
“My little office on the go in the R-Pod 196”
One thing I really was challenged by with I was touring West Virginia was internet accessibility. If it weren’t for the fact I’m a writer and I had deadlines to meet, I wouldn’t have really cared. But when you write every day, for yourself and for others, you have to be creative in how you stay connected.
\nThere was a delicate balance I walked. On the one hand, I needed accessibility. On the other, I craved getting lost in the woods. I chose campsites based on the view first. I always looked at the campground maps when I made my reservations and chose the one off by itself. The one with the view….the quiet…the peace. My second criteria was electric. I didn’t really need water or sewer hookups. The r-pod has plenty of water tank capacity, both fresh and wastewater.
\nMy last question was always, “Where can I get cell or wifi?” There were campgrounds I stayed in that had neither. In that case, I drove to the lodge to use theirs. There was one campground that had AT&T, but not Verizon. This picture was taken in the kitchen of the r-pod while I was camped at Watoga. I was pleased when the camp-host said the campground has WiFi at both bath houses. Then he added, “It’s really slow, though.”
\nHe wasn’t kidding. One little bar. As a matter of fact, every place I stayed had either one little bar of cell or one little bar of WiFi. It was a tad frustrating. Anyway, there at Watoga I happened to be camped right beside the bath house. And, if I was away from that window, I couldn’t send or receive anything. I stood a lot at that window when it was time to upload my posts or check my e-mail or Facebook. This was my little office that particular week.
\nI was telling Mr. FixIt about this the other night when he came to camp with me at Twin Falls. I told him I used to complain about the WiFi at home. Now it’s going to feel like high-speed fiber-optics! Well, until I get used to it and then I’m liable to complain again at how slow it is.
\nYesterday was a much better day. Mr. FixIt and I went to town to buy a warming pad and a storage tote to make Pumpkin a nice warm bed out in the pole building. We also bought a litter box. We already had the feeding dish/water bowl combo. I think Pumpkin is a girl but we’ll know for sure when we take her in to get her shots and checkup on Tuesday. Now I feel really good about her bedding situation and she has already come to love the building. I think she feels safe in there.
\nI’m so excited to go to my home church today. I have really missed my church family! I’m heading out to the farm this afternoon after church to get the house ready for winter. And then there will be far less items on that very long to-do list. Giving myself permission to have some down time with family and falling in love with a little black kitten just might be the best things I’ve done for myself in a very long time.
\n❤️
\n““Show me, Lord, my life’s end and the number of my days; let me know how fleeting my life is.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-11-03T02:30:13-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/11/03/back-to-the-comforts-of.html", "tags": ["Travel","Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","Camping","Fun","West Virginia","Gratitude","Comfort","Wisdom","Girl Camper","Girl Campers","Choices","Road Trip","Chasing the Sun - Girl Camper Road Trip"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/10/29/welcome-to-my-living-room.html", "title": "Welcome to my Living Room!", "content_html": "Psalms 39:4 NIV
![\"Woman](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/15bd323aba.jpg\")
“The camper is the kitchen, bath, and bedroom…the great outdoors is where I live!”
I got to my new campsite in the middle of the afternoon. The mountains I drove over yesterday weren’t anything like the ones last week but man, the road up into the campground here at the park is really, really steep! This truck did a great job pulling the r-pod in these West Virginia hills. When I arrived at my site, I was amazed to have this entire mountaintop to myself! I didn’t have any concerns about that, but I was pleased to see two more couples come into the campground with trailers.
\nIt’s quiet as a church mouse up here. I heard some owls just after dark and a coal train. And the squirrels were in the hickory trees all around me all afternoon. I opened the awning and set up my chair outside and enjoyed the 75° temps and the warm sunshine. A few weeks ago, I purchased an adapter for my tripod so I could use the iPad as a camera. I got it out and played with it for awhile. I had a blast setting the timer for 10 seconds then running to see if I could get in the picture in time!
\nI wanted to tell you about what happened yesterday. I always sit in my truck before I pull out and pray for travel mercies. I list off all the things I’m going to be talking with Him about as I drive. Then I pray the Prayer of Jabez and ask Him to send me whoever He needs me to talk with that day. I hadn’t driven a hundred feet when I came around a corner and there was a whole crowd of folks my age sitting around a campfire. I stopped and rolled down my window.
\n“You kids look like you’re having entirely too much fun!”
\n“Oh, we are!!!” Everyone turned around and smiled and waved. We made some small talk and one of the gals asked if I was traveling alone. I told her all about Girl Campers and how I’m taking this camper around for a few months and we are raffling it off. One thing led to another and the subject of my writing came up. When I told them my writing is faith based and that I even have a Sunday Evening Prayer Circle, one woman came over and took my hand and asked if I would pray for her granddaughter who is sick with ulcerative colitis. I opened my blog and added her name to the prayer list. Before I left them, I took their hands and prayed with them…right there in the campground. God is so good…I asked, He delivered. Immediately! I know it happens so often, I shouldn’t be amazed. But I am always in awe at that.
\nI’m in the home stretch of the West Virginia tour now. Just one, maybe two more nights and I’ll be back at the Ponderosa for a few days. It’s been such an amazing trip and I’ve seen some beautiful places. I’m looking forward to heading south next week. If you all have any recommendations for campgrounds or state parks in Virginia, Tennessee, North Carolina, and South Carolina…I’d love to hear them!
\n❤️
\n“Jabez was more honorable than his brothers. His mother had named him Jabez, saying, “I gave birth to him in pain.” Jabez cried out to the God of Israel, “Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory! Let your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain.” And God granted his request.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-10-29T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/10/29/welcome-to-my-living-room.html", "tags": ["Faith","Travel","Prayer","Positive Energy","Camping","Fun","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","God","Wisdom","Girl Camper","Girl Campers","Choices","Be Joyful!","Road Trip","Chasing the Sun - Girl Camper Road Trip"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/10/27/between-the-trees.html", "title": "Between the Trees", "content_html": "1 Chronicles 4:9-10 NIV
![\"Autumn](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/c553c840f4.jpg\")
“Sitting by the river is soothing to the soul.”
Being a writer is a wonderful thing. I can get lost in a blank page, creating worlds from my thoughts. It’s like magic…making something from nothing. I pray over my keyboard. I ask God to bring me words to say and people who need them. I am humbled when someone reaches out and tells me how my words have encouraged them or helped to ease the pain of their particular loss. I am quick to tell them…it is not me. I am merely the transcriptionist.
\nWhen I pray the Prayer of Jabez, I ask for God to give me those Blessings with my name on them. I ask Him to expand my territory and to walk with His hand over me to keep evil far from me so that I may not feel/cause pain. I love when He brings people to me. It happens daily and I am so blessed by His generosity.
\nAs I sat yesterday in the r-pod, working on a writing project, I noticed the camper next door had turned their outdoor speakers up and were playing loud music. Not over-the-top loud…just annoying because it was disturbing my flow. I stopped and looked at the clock. Just after noon. I had been working straight through since breakfast. I sighed and closed my iPad.
\nShould I go say something to the people? Should I give them a stern look as I pass by? Should I report them to the park office? I sat and prayed for discernment and wisdom. As I washed up the breakfast dishes, I looked out and there were two children…maybe ‘tweens…carving pumpkins! They didn’t have their noses glued to an electronic device. They were camping with their family and doing fun, creative things in the outdoors.
\nI smiled as I dried my hands. Just WHO is the one with her nose glued to an electronic device? Oh, yes…that would be ME! I laughed as I looked up and said, “Ok, ok…I get the hint!” After taking a look around the camper to make sure things were unplugged and safe to leave, I donned my jacket and headed to the Fall Harvest Festival.
\nI watched a chainsaw artist carve a bear out of a log. I sat and listened to some live Bluegrass music. I went to the river and sat in a chair and read for an hour. I put my book away and just breathed in the smells of the day. The aroma of good food from the lodge kitchen. The smell of wet leaves and swift river water. The earthy smell of wool as the sun warmed my sweater. I closed my eyes and listened to children throwing rocks in the river and an elderly couple chatting softly as they walked slowly by…their feet shuffling through the leaves.
\nI thanked God for reminding me to remove the plank in my own eye before I asked my neighbor to remove the sliver from theirs.
\nIt was a really good day.
\n❤️
\n“You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-10-27T01:30:43-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/10/27/between-the-trees.html", "tags": ["Faith","Travel","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Positive Energy","Camping","Fun","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","God","Peace","Wisdom","Girl Camper","Girl Campers","Choices","Road Trip","Chasing the Sun - Girl Camper Road Trip"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/10/26/time-travel.html", "title": "Time Travel", "content_html": "Matthew 7:5 NIV
![\"Coffee](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/663885f09a.jpg\")
“Coffee and sunshine and a little nosh!”
As I explored the latest West Virginia State Park on my camping itinerary yesterday, I took a king sized jump back in time. The last time I was at this particular park was with Hubby #2. I can’t tell you the year, but my guess is it was the summer of 1979, although it could have been later. I remember bits and pieces of that trip. I remember feeling so extravagant to travel to such beautiful places. We stayed a night in this lodge I am sitting in as I write this post. Oh, my…so much water over the dam since then.
\nI sat there in the morning sunshine, watching the river making riffles on the smooth stones below. The trees are yellow and brown and still-green here. Tiny little splashes of red and orange peek through as you move your eyes across the steep hillside at the far edge of the river. By 1:00 in the afternoon, the brilliant sun of morning gave way to the clouds portending the heavy storms predicted this weekend.
\nI haven’t met a West Virginia State Park I haven’t liked. This trip has seriously been magical and something my heart and soul so desperately needed, if for no other reason that to remind me how dearly I love Mr. FixIt. Not that there has ever been a question. We all have a tendency to get wrapped up in the busyness of life and forget to stop and appreciate what we have. I’m just as guilty of that as anyone.
\nGetting away also reminds me of the independence I cultivated for my self after Mr. Virgo died. I either got out and had adventures, or I would spend the rest of my life sitting at home alone. And that is just not me. I need solitude from time to time…to refresh and recharge and stretch my abilities. When I do that, I am a much better partner for my husband. I am more patient, more loving, and decidedly happier. This is a benefit for both of us.
\nI’ve been gone for quite a bit this year. Between Girl Camping trips, six weeks in Colorado for my daughter’s wedding, and this Charity Trailer Raffle Tour, I think I have spent more time away from home than I was there. I have a patient husband, to be sure. But we are missing each other a lot so we are working on our itinerary for the next two months and figuring out the best way to travel AND be together.
\nIt is supposed to rain a lot this weekend so I’ve saved my writing and indoor projects till then. I need to take advantage of the sunshine when I can. When I woke up yesterday morning, it was 37 degrees. By the time I rousted myself to get coffee, it was 8:00 and 42 degrees. I took the electric griddle outside and cooked with it sitting on the picnic table. I fried a whole package of bacon and carefully placed the cooked strip between layers of paper towels and slipped the entire batch into a zip lock bag. Stored in the refrigerator, these will be eaten up long before they would spoil. I did the same with a batch of pancakes and stored them two to a sandwich bag. That way, I’ve cooked several days of breakfasts ahead of time. When it’s raining this weekend, I can still have outdoor cooked meals.
\nAs I finished writing this piece, I watched a little boy, maybe four or five years old…walking along the river. Bright yellow leaves rained down around him. With hands reached out, he laughed as he tried to catch them…his feet crunching on those he missed. He picked up rocks on the river bank and watched out for his little brother toddling along behind him. They were out with their dad. I love seeing dads with their littles…teaching, loving, experiencing the joy of the day. I close with this thought. Wouldn’t it be a better world if the littles spent more time outside with their dads? Or moms, if dad isn’t around? Or with anyone who loves them and wants to teach them about the world and about life? Wouldn’t it be better than handing a child an electronic device to keep them quiet…engaged in learning what someone else is teaching them? Maybe something that isn’t reflective of your values? I’m not being judgmental here. There were plenty of times I let my own little watch too much TV in order to have some peace. It just seems we are raising a generation that’s greatest skill is dissociation. I’m not sure how you put the smoke back in the bottle.
\nWith that thought, I have spent entirely too much of my morning sitting here with my own set of electronic diversions so I’m heading out to enjoy this day before the rains come and I get stuck inside. I hope you have a beautiful weekend wherever you are. Put the phone down…go outside and play. You’re never too old to “go places and do things”, as the Girl Campers say!
\n❤️
\n“Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.”\n\n \n", "date_published": "2019-10-26T01:30:14-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/10/26/time-travel.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Travel","Uplifting Stories","Positive Energy","Camping","Fun","West Virginia","Gratitude","Peace","Wisdom","Aging","Girl Camper","Girl Campers","Choices","Be Joyful!","Widow","Road Trip","Littles","Chasing the Sun - Girl Camper Road Trip"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/10/25/overcoming-challenges.html", "title": "Overcoming Challenges", "content_html": "Proverbs 22:6 NIV
![\"Camping\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/4edaa64607.jpg\")
“Kicking back in my Vasques at the campsite at the end of the day makes all the challenges melt away!”
Yesterday saw its fair share of challenges. First, I was wide awake at 5:30am. I drove over Droop Mountain on Wednesday and frankly…I was a little concerned about pulling the camper over it. At 3060 feet elevation with a 9% grade, it is a considerable piece of real estate to cross over, especially hauling a camper.
\nThe first thing I did Wednesday evening was take a long, hot shower to empty water out of the fresh tank into the grey tank. I knew I needed to offload as much weight as I could before I took on the mountains and curvy West Virginia roads the next morning. When I awoke at 5:30, I pulled out my atlas and went over my route for the umpteenth time. One side of my brain said, “Nope…not gonna.” But the adventurous side…the side that knows I can do all things with Jesus said, “Yep…we’re gonna do this!”
\nI hooked up the camper and pulled it over to the campground dump station. It was 8:00 in the morning and 37 degrees…a tad chilly. I got everything emptied and cleaned and put away, then headed out. My first obstacle was coming up the hill from Watoga State Park Campground into Seebert. There is a sign that tells you there is a sharp drop off on the right. In other words, the “shoulder” of the road is about…I don’t know…a hundred feet down, maybe? It was really no big deal…you just hug the center line and pray no one else is coming. And when they are, you stop. It doesn’t matter who might be behind you…they can just wait.
\nI was really pleased at how smoothly the Droop Mountain crossing went. My transmission temp stayed in a reasonable temperature range. There was a good deal of fog at the base, but I soon broke through to perfect sunshine and crisp air. The leaves that high are a bit past their prime, but still beautiful.
\nMy biggest challenge came when I got to the campground. I asked the fellow in the check-in office if the sites are level and he said, “Ma’am, I have to be perfectly honest. They really aren’t it’s a challenge to get things level.” I didn’t want to hear this because, of all the things I left at home, it was my assortment of levelers. Keith followed me out to my site and we stood there looking at it.
\n“Wow…that has quite a grade, doesn’t it?” I said.
\nHe allowed that it did. He brought me some scraps of wood he had salvaged from campers leaving them behind. I pulled further forward where the grade wasn’t quite as steep, and unhooked. I walked all around and finally realized, I did not have enough blocks with me to make up the difference because my stabilizing jacks wouldn’t reach the ground.
\nI drove back over and was about to buy a couple packages of levelers when Keith said he would look to see if there was another site. He had offered two others earlier but I just didn’t like them. They were small, crowded, and right on the road. Finally he came up with an available site and I drove around to look at it. It would be a little tricky backing into it, but it was long and level and faced way back in the woods. It was perfect.
\nI hooked back up and towed to the second site and got settled in. It made for a long day, but the results made me much more comfortable than the first site. Sometimes you have to listen to your gut. The only place for that trailer to go if the chocks gave way was down the side of the mountain. It is a perfectly good site for a motor home or something small like a popup tent camper…it just didn’t work for me.
\nKeith apologized for wasting three hours of my day. I explained that I am a writer and an educator. I’m an experienced camper. But there are lots of people out there who haven’t had any experience and want to learn. These kinds of experiences offer me opportunities to teach others and hopefully avoid unfortunate pitfalls. Those kinds of things can really dampen one’s joy toward a new activity, and I want you to have as much success as possible when you “Go Places and Do Things”!
\n❤️
\n“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-10-25T01:30:39-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/10/25/overcoming-challenges.html", "tags": ["Travel","Overcoming Obstacles","Camping","West Virginia","Wisdom","Girl Camper","Girl Campers","Road Trip","Chasing the Sun - Girl Camper Road Trip"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/10/24/less-is-more.html", "title": "Less is More", "content_html": "1 Peter 5:7 NIV
![\"Muck](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/235e1396c6.jpg\")
“My favorite boots.”
Ok…you all know me. You know I have something to say about…you know, everything. I’ve been known to turn a phrase. I’ve been able to paint pictures with my words. It’s not me…it’s all God. But, as I sat down last night to write this post, I was at a total loss for words. Yesterday was just about the most beautiful day I have ever seen and I didn’t have anyone to share it with. Not in real time, anyway. Mr. FixIt is still at home, picking pears and cleaning out the last of the garden. And there’s all of you. And Kaye and her fella, “Not John Hancock” (sorry, I’ve forgotten his first name but it’s definitely NOT John). I met them on a hike in Beartown State Park.
\nI just spent the whole day yesterday gobsmacked at every turn. It started when I awoke before dawn and saw the fog settling in on the river. I jumped up in the dark, threw on my camp clothes and muck boots, and headed down the road in the campground. I got down on the riverbank and waited. I’ve learned to wait patiently for the light. There’s a moment…just a fleeting moment, when the light is perfect and the color is perfect and the subject is perfect. It happens every day…but most of the time, we aren’t there to catch it. Or we aren’t paying attention.
\nIf you blink, you can miss it….that one perfect shot. That one picture that says “WOW”. You can take 500 shots and have one, if you’re lucky. Or, you can take 500 shots and have SO many that just knock your socks off and you can’t choose. Some I need to keep aside for the project I’m working on. And some, while I would love to share them with you today, are just too big and the internet here at the campground won’t handle it. You’ll have to wait.
\nSo, I chose this one. I was standing by the river, waiting for the perfect light, when I looked down and saw this colorful array of leaves around my feet. Simple. Yet it says so much. These feet have carried me for sixty-six years now. They’ve run and jumped, danced and snuggled. They’ve kicked and stomped and run away from so many things. But this day…this day they stood…patiently waiting for the perfect light. In a pair of boots that my Aunt Peeps gave me years ago. They are one of my most prized possessions. Rugged. Sturdy. Utilitarian. And practical on a wet, foggy morning on a riverbank.
\nThese boots symbolize where I am in my life. I’m comfortable. Happy in my own skin, just for the sake of being happy. There’s something to be said for that kind of simplicity. And for knowing when less is more.
\n❤️
\n“For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”\nMatthew 6:21 ESV\n", "date_published": "2019-10-24T04:10:38-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/10/24/less-is-more.html", "tags": ["Travel","Uplifting Stories","Camping","Fun","West Virginia","Gratitude","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Presence","Girl Camper","Girl Campers","Choices","Be Joyful!","Chasing the Sun - Girl Camper Road Trip"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/10/16/eat-pray-camp.html", "title": "Eat, Pray, Camp!", "content_html": "
![\"R-pod](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/952e0510a5.jpg\")
“The r-pod 196 nestled in the trees at Cedar Creek State Park near Glenville, WV”
I moved to the next campground easily enough yesterday morning. Mr. FixIt met me at the McDonald’s in Glenville for breakfast so I could get my travel coordinates before we parted company for another couple of weeks. We had the BEST weekend! It was our first wedding anniversary, which I had told you about. When he arrived at the campground Saturday night, he greeted me with a dozen roses and a sweet card. I greeted him with a warm supper and a big hug. We hiked, biked, and chatted with folks he knew in the campground. (Have I told you he knows EVERYONE?!) We rested and watched movies and took naps. And we just flat out enjoyed not having cell service or TV to distract us from enjoying each other’s company. It was wonderful!
\nSpeaking of no cell service, we had just finished eating lunch out in front of our camper on Monday when Mr. FixIt’s phone rang! We could barely hear a woman’s voice and she was saying something about coming to the office. We thought it must have something to do with his insurance policy because the call came from his agent’s office. That was really weird.
\nAfter lunch, we decided to go for a bike ride around the state park. It’s such a great place to ride bikes because the campground is essentially flat. When we got back to the camper, Mr. FixIt reached to remove his wallet from his back pocket and…it was GONE! We looked in both trucks and all over the camper and campsite, but he figured he had to have lost it when he was riding his bike.
\nI hadn’t realized till I got back to the camper that he wasn’t right behind me. I got off my bike and took off my helmet and gloves and here he came. It turned out he had gotten his shoe lace wrapped around the bike pedal and had to stop at the camp store to get untangled. He assumed that is where he lost the wallet. So, we got in the truck. I prayed out loud.
\n“Jesus, please help us find my husband’s wallet!”
\nWe took off driving very slowly…looking for a brown wallet amongst the equally brown leaves all over the roadway. We hadn’t had any luck when we passed a couple out for a walk.
\n“You haven’t happened to find a wallet, have you?”
\n“Nope…sorry. We haven’t seen a thing!”
\n“Ok, we’ll keep looking. Thanks!”
\nWhile we were talking to the couple who were walking, another couple rode past us on their bikes on the other side of the truck.
\nSuddenly, we heard the walking couple.
\n“Whoa, whoa, whoa!”
\nI looked in the rear view mirror and they were waving us back and pointing at the couple on the bike. The bikers rode up to us.
\n“You looking for a wallet? I just turned one in at the park headquarters building! They have it waiting for you!”
\nI stuck my hand out the window and looked up and shouted, “Thank you, Jesus!!!”
\nWe drove on up to the building at the park entrance and sure enough, it was Mr. FixIt’s wallet…intact with his one lone dollar bill and his credit cards. As we were driving back to the camper, he looked at me and said, “Man, that was really lucky!”
\nI looked at him with a level stare and said, “No, honey…luck had nothing to do with that. What did I do as soon as we got in the truck? I prayed that Jesus would help us find your wallet, didn’t I?” He nodded in agreement. “Then, we asked the walkers if they found a wallet and they didn’t. But they asked the bikers, and THEY did…and had turned it in. All in the space of about ten minutes after I prayed! That was a prayer answered, sweetheart…plain and simple.”
\nHe had to agree. Especially when we were sitting at breakfast yesterday and he checked his phone.
\n“Huh…I have a missed call.” It was from the same number that got through in an area with no phone service. They had called back and left us this message.
\n“Hi there…this is __________ from you insurance agent’s office. We received a call from the folks at Cedar Creek State Park saying someone found your wallet. You need to check in with the headquarters office to get it back.”
\nI looked at Mr. FixIt and smiled. “See? You can add getting a phone call in an area with no cell service about your lost wallet to the list of steps God took to return it to you!”
\nI’m gobsmacked when God does these things…especially when it shows another person that He’s really REAL and cares about ALL the things, not just the big stuff. Even a wallet that falls out in the leaves.
\n❤️
\n“If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-10-16T01:30:46-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/10/16/eat-pray-camp.html", "tags": ["Faith","Travel","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Camping","Fun","West Virginia","Gratitude","Grace","God","Wisdom","Choices","Be Joyful!","Road Trip","Chasing the Sun - Girl Camper Road Trip"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/10/09/check-engine-light.html", "title": "Check Engine Light", "content_html": "John 15:7 NIV
![\"Check](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/60747c1ef4.jpg\")
“How many times have you seen this come on…right in front of the dealership?!?!”
I was heading through Marietta, Ohio yesterday afternoon on my way from one campground to the next. My preferred Ford dealer is there and as I was driving by, I got “the nudge”. The thought went through my mind…“Check your engine light!” Literally…I was right in front of the dealership when I looked down and…
\nIt was ON!!!
\nI kid you not! I got goose bumps. Ok…I drove down a block, turned around, and came back. I pulled up as close to the service entrance as I could while pulling a camper behind me. Luke, the Service Supervisor, came out and checked the truck with the computer. One of the oxygen sensors was bad. They checked and had one in stock and they had a free technician. I unhooked the camper, pulled the truck in, and went out to the camper to stretch out and read. An hour later, they called and the truck was ready.
\nYou cannot tell me prayer doesn’t work. You cannot tell me the Holy Spirit doesn’t guide us. How many of you sent up prayers and good thoughts for travel mercies for me yesterday? Well, they worked…and I thank you for those prayers!
\nBut most of all, I thank God for always watching out for me. I love it when He comes through with a megaphone because there was absolutely nothing subtle about that call. Wowza!
\nI got to the next campground just before dusk. I never reveal where I am in real time when I’m traveling alone so I’ll have to let you know the day after I leave. But, talk about peace and quiet…it’s crazy quiet here. I was hoping to see the night sky, but the clouds stole in just as I was unhooking. Maybe tonight. In the meantime…great cell service and a deadline to meet. What a great place to write!
\n❤️
\n“When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is mankind that you are mindful of them, human beings that you care for them?”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-10-09T01:30:08-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/10/09/check-engine-light.html", "tags": ["Faith","Travel","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Camping","West Virginia","Gratitude","Grace","God","Peace","Wisdom","Choices","Road Trip","Chasing the Sun - Girl Camper Road Trip"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/10/07/all-good-things.html", "title": "All Good Things...", "content_html": "Psalms 8:3-4 NIV
![\"Girl](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/290e8adfa3.jpg\")
“The curtain closes on another successful Fall What-a-Hoot!”
What a FUN event we had this weekend at the Fourth Annual Fall What-a-Hoot at Beaver Creek State Park with the Girl Campers! OMGosh…we ate and laughed and knitted and crafted. We sat around the campfire every night and talked and talked and talked. We toured each other’s campers. We broke in a newbie. We hugged and prayed and praised.
\nWe antiqued and flea marketed and shopped and faired. We watched a movie on the big screen outdoors. We captured sunrises and sunsets. We cooked and shared recipes. We shared pictures of the kids and grandkids and great grandkids. We taught and shared. We listened. We embraced each other’s differences. We lifted each other up. We included everyone and made everyone feel welcome and special. You know what we didn’t do? We didn’t talk politics. We didn’t watch TV. We didn’t complain…about anything. Not even the 41 degree morning. Ok, maybe a little about the mosquitoes. And those folks on that one site that had a WAY too big fire and a drunken party till the wee hours of Sunday morning that kept some gals awake. Oh, and did I say…NO POLITICS! It was heavenly! The weekend ended with a much, MUCH needed rain. I’m staying on for another extra night since it’s supposed to rain all day today. I have writing to do and some trip planning. I’m also going to work on a little project I’ll share with you soon.
\nHappy Monday, everyone!
\n❤️
\n“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”\n\n \n", "date_published": "2019-10-07T01:30:46-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/10/07/all-good-things.html", "tags": ["Travel","Uplifting Stories","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Camping","Fun","Gratitude","God","Peace","Wisdom","Presence","Girl Camper","Girl Campers","Be Joyful!","Chasing the Sun - Girl Camper Road Trip"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/10/05/setting-up-the-spare-room.html", "title": "Setting up the “Spare Room”", "content_html": "Romans 15:13 NIV
![\"RPod](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/cb31a9fcac.jpg\")
“Converting the sofa to a spare bed in the RPod 196!”
I’m Back!!! Mr. FixIt and I had a wonderful time camping together and the little break was just what I needed to recharge. There’s nothing like being in the woods in a little camper. Losing Mr. Virgo taught me to really appreciate every moment and this week has been grand!
\nOn Monday, we checked into Tomlinson Run State Park in the tippy top of the Northern Panhandle of West Virginia. The drive up was lovely as we followed the Ohio River on Rt. 7. Mr. FixIt drove separately and followed along behind me. We got to our campsite by mid-afternoon and unhooked. It’s a lovely campground, located on top of a hill and densely wooded. The sites are all nicely spaced apart from each other. We had electric but no water. That’s not a problem, really. You just use the water you carry with you in your fresh water tanks. We rode our bikes around the campground, we cooked outside, and we spent as much time as we could sitting out looking at the stars.
\nWe left Tomlinson Run on Wednesday and headed to Beaver Creek to meet up with the Girl Campers. Mr. FixIt loves to hang out with the girls and they really enjoy him as well. We had fires in the Solo Stove which is wonderful…so much less smoke than a conventional campfire but still enough that you feel as though you had the camping experience. We had some rain here Wednesday night. Quite a bit actually.
\nMr. Fixit left yesterday mid-day to head home. My friend Diane joined me last night. Diane graduated from high school with me but we didn’t know each other back then. She and I didn’t really become good friends till I moved to the family farm in West Virginia in 2014…the year after Mr. Virgo died. I needed to find someone who could help me unload a truck so I called her to get a recommendation. We became fast friends after that.
\nI tried to get her to camp with me several years ago, but Motel 8 is roughing it to Diane. Then, when she found out I was taking the RPod out for a road test, she texted me with a bombshell. She wanted to come camping with me! She knew I’d be writing about my camping experiences and wanted to offer her services as “blog fodder”. “Camping with the Non-Camper!” Brilliant! This could either be really, really good…or really, really bad. I’m happy to report that, so far, she seems to be having a grand time! She fits right in with these great gals.
\nAs is always the case, there’s always a good deal of food at these events and last night was a smorgasbord. Tonight is soup night…my favorite night during What a Hoot. Everyone brings their A-game on soup night and we all go around taste testing each person’s creation. I decided to do something a little bit different this year and make beef and noodles. I’ll stick the chuck roast in the crock pot in the morning and let it simmer all day. It will be a welcome addition, I am sure.
\nThis morning was predicted to be 41 degrees! After a long stretch of hot, dry weather, I am really welcoming the cooler temperatures of fall. I needed to make a reconfiguration of the camper to accommodate my guest. I turned the jack knife sofa into a twin bed. The back of the sofa is a little bit higher than the seat when it’s laid out flat. I bought some firm upholstery foam sheets to lay down on the lower section to make an even base and place my inflatable mattress on top. It was cool enough for the furnace. Today is Pioneer Days down in the Historic Village. The grist mill will be running and there will be tours of the village buildings. Our friend Gail’s son wrote a book about the haunted history of Beaver Creek and will be on hand to sign his books.
\nSo far, the trip is fabulous and so is the RPod 196! The tickets are on sale on girlcamper.com for $10 each and the proceeds benefit the Hold You Foundation, an organization that assists families with critically ill children. This is a wonderful chance to support a worthy cause as well and get the opportunity to buy a wonderful camper! It’s good to be back!
\n❤️
\n“We love because he first loved us.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-10-05T01:30:44-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/10/05/setting-up-the-spare-room.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Positive Energy","Camping","Fun","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Girl Camper","Girl Campers","Choices","Be Joyful!","Widow","Road Trip","Marriage","Chasing the Sun - Girl Camper Road Trip"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/09/27/love-letters-from-beyond.html", "title": "Love Letters from Beyond", "content_html": "1 John 4:19 NIV
![\"Love](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/0c336c8efc.jpg\")
“Leaving love notes behind for your spouse to find later…what a gift!”
My friends and I camped at Beaver Creek State Park last night. We so seldom get together, just the three of us and when we do it’s always so special. It’s always tempting to stay up really late and sleep in the next day, but Janine and I both had long drives home. We called it a night fairly early and were up and ready for coffee by 8:00. We chatted over a leisurely breakfast and prayed for each other before we finally broke camp by 11:00. I pulled in to the Ponderosa around 4:00, dropped off the camper, and turned right around to go back to town for small group. I’m not signed up for this session, but I wanted to visit and share in the fellowship with dear friends from church.
\nI was seated by a new member of the group. Jonna is a widow of two years. I put my hand on her arm and told her how sorry I was for her loss. We chatted about the similarities and differences between people’s grief experiences. She knew ahead of time that her husband was dying and she was thrilled they had time to have important conversations, no matter how uncomfortable they were.
\nJust before our meeting started, she leaned over and lowered her voice a little.
\n“Wanna know the BEST part?”
\nI was intrigued. I had never thought about “the best part” of grief.
\n“Yes….please!”
\n“My husband hid love notes for me everywhere! I’ve found over twenty of them already!”
\nMy heart melted. I remember finding a note Mr. Virgo had left me for Valentine’s day just a month before he died unexpectedly. I know how precious that is.
\n“I’m not going to go looking for them. If I find one, it’s a gift! I found one the other day in the file of Explanation of Benefits from the insurance!”
\nI leaned over to her and said, “I think that is just the sweetest thing!”
\nThat’s a good man, right there. He knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, what these little gifts would mean to the woman he had married thirty-eight years prior. Even when he was ill and in pain from the amputation of his leg, this gentle giant left his sweetheart love letters from beyond. Yes…that’s a very good man!
\n❤️
\n“Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way. The Lord be with all of you.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-09-27T01:30:20-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/09/27/love-letters-from-beyond.html", "tags": ["Family","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","West Virginia","Gratitude","Love","Wisdom","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/09/16/weve-come-a-long-way.html", "title": "We’ve Come a Long Way Baby!", "content_html": "2 Thessalonians 3:16 NIV
![\"Early](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/1b904a6b26.jpg\")
“Camping in the early days in Denver. This is just down the street from where Ben & Sue live!”
Janine and I spent our time at the RV Show yesterday browsing around for content for our blogs. We stood for eight hours and walked nearly 10,000 steps. By the time the show was finished, we were exhausted but then there was work to be done. Processing and editing photos, writing blog posts, calculating trip routes and travel times. All the logistics that come with the postmortems of a travel show.
\nI’ll bet we didn’t get to see one tenth of this show. And even that was overwhelming. We did see a couple of really cool campers. We saw some really EXPENSIVE campers. We saw everything from bargain basement, bare bones boxes to luxury on wheels. It’s amazing what some of the interiors of these campers look like. Marble counters, high end furnishings, and appliances that look like they come out of the finest kitchens. It boggles the mind that people would pay half a million dollars for a fancy bus.
\nThere are so many accessories….many that you definitely don’t need, but there are lots that were pretty handy. One was a rechargeable work light that would work well to illuminate a campsite if you arrive in the dark and need to back in. We have some really fun accessories that I’ll be sharing with you after the big reveal next week. We are still holding back the majority of the photos till then.
\nIn the meantime, they are breaking down the show overnight. I need to get a smaller ball on my hitch to fit the new camper. Janine and I are heading to the Ponderosa today then to Huntington tomorrow. We’ll dry camp out in the field tonight! So please keep us in your prayers for travel mercies today. I am so excited about pulling this camper today!
\n❤️
\n“For the Lord gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-09-16T01:30:40-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/09/16/weve-come-a-long-way.html", "tags": ["Travel","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Camping","Fun","West Virginia","Gratitude","goRVing","Grace","God","Wisdom","Girl Camper","Girl Campers","Choices","Change","Road Trip","Chasing the Sun - Girl Camper Road Trip"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/09/15/the-really-really-big-show.html", "title": "The Really REALLY Big Show!", "content_html": "Proverbs 2:6 NIV
![\"Women](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/ed8ac30958.jpg\")
“Janine, her BFF Carol, and me in front of the R Pod at the Hershey RV Show.”
Ok, so I thought Friday’s show was busy? Hokey Smokes!!! Yesterday was absolutely insane at the RV Show…but SO amazingly fun! Hundreds of people came and walked through the camper. Everyone loved the decor and if they didn’t…it was probably a guy. Guys don’t necessarily get the whole “decorate your camper” thing. That’s why most campers are varying themes of BROWN. I think a guy takes a look and says, “Yeah…that won’t show dirt. Use that!”
\nI do have to say, the folks at Forest River are stepping up their game in the new R Pod. The cabinets are a lovely shade of grey and the walls are off white. It is a perfect canvas on which to decorate in whatever style strikes your fancy. The light colors along with multiple large windows brings in an abundance of light which is exactly what I am looking for in a camper. I am going to switch the mattress out. I’ve never found an RV mattress that I found satisfactory. I am very choosy about my mattresses. I have an extra memory foam mattress at home so I’ll switch it out when I’m there next week.
\nJanine and I were so exhausted when we got back to our hotel room yesterday. We both took a long nap, then headed out for dinner. Our meal was ok. I was disappointed in my main course. I had pasta and meat sauce with Italian sausage. The sausage had been left in the skillet too long and was actually burnt. When the waitress took my plate, she asked if there was something wrong. I explained and she offered something different. By that time I was full from just the pasta and sauce and didn’t care for anything else.
\nPretty soon, the manage/owner came out to talk with me. He said he took my entree off the check. In the process of our discussion, I informed him I had a good understanding of what he was going through. I told him about Mr. Virgo working in the Food & Beverage industry all of his career. He lit up and we began a long discussion comparing notes of who worked where and when. This is something I always found fascinating with Mr. Virgo. No matter where we were, he could find someone who knew someone and there was always common ground. It made me smile.
\nI told him our story. I told him about going out to buy the camper and how he died while we were looking. I told him about buying the little camper and taking it out in the wilderness and backroads of Colorado. I told him about selling my house and buying the big camper and getting rid of 95% of my personal belongings. I told him about being on the road in the camper and writing about it and how I came to know Janine. Then, I told him the happy ending of the story…running into Mr. FixIt and how we are just about ready to celebrate our 1st Wedding Anniversary.
\nA happy ending. It’s never “The End” though…is it. Mr. Virgo died. But it wasn’t the end. It was the end of many things…but not of him. Or of me. There is always more story to be written…even when you cannot believe you can survive another moment after such a painful loss. Being away, doing something different, learning new things, expanding my territory. All these things offer a lovely perspective of life. I can’t think how my life could be any more perfect than what it is. I am so incredibly grateful. Telling my story gives me this gift every single time.
\n❤️
\n“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.”\n\n \n", "date_published": "2019-09-15T01:30:02-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/09/15/the-really-really-big-show.html", "tags": ["Travel","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Camping","Fun","Growth","Gratitude","goRVing","Wisdom","Humbled","Girl Camper","Girl Campers","Be Joyful!","Widow","Road Trip","Chasing the Sun - Girl Camper Road Trip"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/09/10/forever.html", "title": "Forever 62...", "content_html": "James 1:17 NIV
![\"Handsome](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/ec04ed0bbc.jpg\")
“Mr. Virgo…Forever 62…and still handsome as ever.”
Happy Heavenly Birthday, Mr. Virgo. You would have been sixty-nine today. Would you have been retired by now? Would we have pulled that camper all over the country? Would our golf game be any better? It’s hard to say, but my guess is…we would have been out hitting some balls today.
\nMy life is so different now…I do different things. I camp and write about it. I grieve and write about it. I got married again…and I write about it! Nothing is safe anymore…it’s all blog fodder. But in a good way.
\nI remember all the stages, all the phases, all the fear and pain and anger your loss caused me. I remember it all. At the same time, the edges are fuzzy. A little out of focus. The only words I can hear your voice say in my mind anymore is “I love you, baby doll.” I can picture your hands…your earlobes…your hair. It’s like I can see all the pieces of the puzzle but I cannot seem to piece them all together and put together a workable picture of you. Sometimes it’s frustrating. Sometimes its a Godsend.
\nAs I always tell my readers, the pain of grief is always much, much worse when I’m tired. Sunday night, I could not get to sleep. And the longer it went on, the more focused I became on being away. I knew I’d be tired. And I knew the waves could hit any minutes, even if you never crossed my mind.
\nI finally drifted off for about 20 minutes and woke up freezing. I turned off the fan, threw a blanket over me, and went to sleep for…maybe a half hour. This time, I woke up overheated, sweating profusely, and anxious/nauseated/jittery. I finally got up, turned the fan back on, and got sick.
\nGrief.
\nWaves of seemingly unending grief have dwindled to the rare bad night. Sunday night was it. I hate disturbing Mr. FixIt if I’m jumping up and down all night so I moved to the guest room, took something for my upset stomach, and finally slipped into a sound sleep for four or five hours. This is the way it works now. The fact that I am happily married doesn’t seem to phase it. We never “get over it”….but we do learn how to hold our grief with soft hands so as to not wake up the beast.
\nIt is your 69th. You are there with your mom and dad…and cousin-in-law Dennis…and now, your firstborn, Shannon. She has been with you for two years. I know you all are together and having a cigar on the back 9…watching the sunset.
\nI will always love you and remember you in so many ways. It’s funny how your shape in my life has changed over time. Each year you step a tiny bit further away. Your star shines a tiny bit less in my every day life…but you’re so much bigger in the grand moments. And still, every once it a while, a wave hits me and I have a bad night. Thank God, they are fewer and farther between.
\nSo…
\nHappy Birthday, Mr. Virgo!
\n❤️
\n“So also you have sorrow now, but I will see you again, and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy from you.”\n\n \n", "date_published": "2019-09-10T01:30:19-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/09/10/forever.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Growth","Gratitude","God","Peace","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Aging","Choices","Change","Widow","Marriage","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/09/09/there-is-another.html", "title": "There is Another", "content_html": "John 16:22 ESV
![\"Worship](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/0e00872f65.jpg\")
“There is another who stands with us in the fire….always.”
I cannot tell you how many times I have felt alone in my life. Totally alone. Totally forgotten. Maybe not totally worthless…but pretty darned close sometimes. When I went through my formal conversion to Judaism just before my second child was born, part of the process was to sit before the Bet Din…the Jewish Tribunal Court that determines your suitability. Did you learn all you needed to learn? Are you converting for your faith…or for your husband? How will you accomplish the very important aspect of the Jewish faith…being a contributing member of the synagogue?
\nThese were the easy questions. I had already lived a Jewish life for 12 years. This conversion was merely a formality so that our child would be considered by other Jews to be Jewish once she was born. The difficult question came last.
\n“Do you renounce Jesus as your personal savior?”
\nI thought I would fly through these questions without giving them a second thought. But this question….this…betrayal to all I had learned as a child hit something deep within me I didn’t even realize was there. But what was I to do? I was pregnant out to here and my nice Jewish doctor-husband was sitting on the other side of the door, waiting for me.
\n“I have obligations to my family,” I thought to myself. “I have people depending on me to show up as a Jew…not the least of which is my unborn child.”
\nSo, I said yes…and that’s where the trouble started. I felt God…I don’t know…step back, for lack of a better description. From that moment on…for the next ten years…I felt alone. Forsaken, as I had forsaken Jesus. Granted, I had not recognized him as the Son of God at that point. I had never invited Him into my life. I had never given over to Him and called Him Lord. I guess, in that moment, I realized He was still in the back of my mind. He was still there. That is, until I kicked Him to the curb in the office of the synagogue that cold and sunny January day.
\nI didn’t deserve Him. I had shunned Him. I felt there was no forgiveness for such an action and that was where I was left. Dying on the vine from the inside out. Ten years later, after an overdose nearly killed me, I started my long journey back to life and along the way…praise God…I was brought to my knees at the foot of the Cross and came home to Jesus in 2005. Nearly fifteen years ago.
\nWhat I’ve learned since then is this: I was never alone in the fire. God was always there with me, no matter how far I tried to push Him away. I spent that whole decade feeling alone and unworthy…far from God on my side of the fence. Yet He sat there patiently watching out for me, patiently waiting for me to cry out for him.
\nI think of myself as a parent…how sad I have been at times when my children’s focus has them far away from me and how joyful I feel when they call, or reach out to me for something even as mundane as a family recipe. This must be how God feels when we reach our arms out to Him to be held. Like any parent…He loves His children. Like any parent…He rejoices when His children love Him back.
\n❤️
\n“How precious is your steadfast love, O God! The children of mankind take refuge in the shadow of your wings.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-09-09T01:30:03-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/09/09/there-is-another.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/09/08/let-things-go.html", "title": "Let Things Go", "content_html": "Psalms 36:7 ESV
![\"Autumn](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/99aa1978b5.jpg\")
“Letting things go for a little while gives your mind and heart a chance to breathe.”
I have a list as long as my arm to get accomplished in the next four days. On the upside, I don’t have a camper to clean and prep for a trip. On the downside, I still have laundry, errands, packing, planning, writing, and a couple of doctor’s appointments before I slip out of town on Thursday for the beginning of this amazing Girl Camper Trailer Tour.
\nSo, with all this stuff on my list, what did I do yesterday? I let things go. I created a day just for me. I met ten of my dear friends from my high school class for coffee and conversation. We caught up with what’s been going on since the beginning of summer. We haven’t met since June before I left cross country. This is the first chance I’ve had to plan a coffee gathering since returning from Colorado. I needed to fit it in before I leave again this week.
\nWe caught up with everyone’s health issues. Yes, we’re THOSE people now…surgeries, hospitalizations, injuries. We are “of a certain age” and things break down more often it seems. One of the gals was new to our gathering. She’s been liberated from a longstanding situation that didn’t allow her to socialize before now so there was a lot of catching up to do there. We talked about our vacations over the summer and travel plans for the fall. We shared photos of the grandkids…and GREAT grandkids! Ninety minutes flew by and someone called, “Picture time!” We needed to enlist a patron sitting in the cafe to come take our photo. A young woman doing homework. I smiled. “High school friends. Don’t ever lose touch!” She smiled back and took the perfect picture.
\nWhen it was time to leave, we each hugged everyone there. We’re of that age…we don’t know “when” and “if” anymore. So we hug and kiss a lot and give lots of “love you’s” and “take care’s”. I left feeling loved and supported and relieved those I care about were experiencing a pretty good week. As I was heading to the truck, one of our granddaughters texted to say she was in town and did I want to snuggle our great grandson. Well…of course! Silly question!
\nI went to the former Mrs. FixIt’s house and visited her and with not one, but BOTH great grandchildren for an hour or so and caught up with everyone, then headed off for errands. I met Mr. FixIt after his golf scramble and went to one of my favorite stores…Rural King. I’m looking for a cool barn coat but I’m not finding one. I’ll probably have to buy online.
\nSo, there you go…my primer on how to let things go. Totally self serving and vitally important. Church today, then I can piddle around the house. It’ll get done. And, it’ll get done without me feeling like I’ll tear my hair out at any minute. That is a monumental win-win in my book.
\n❤️
\n“a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-09-08T01:30:33-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/09/08/let-things-go.html", "tags": ["Health","Uplifting Stories","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Fun","West Virginia","Gratitude","Comfort","Love","Wisdom","Courage","Aging","Presence","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/09/07/gathering-camping-supplies.html", "title": "Gathering Camping Supplies", "content_html": "Ecclesiastes 3:5 ESV
![\"Camping](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/c51dc07cda.jpg\")
“What a mess! Trying to organize and choose what I’m taking on my next Girl Camper Adventure!”
When I was forced to sell my sweet little camper when I was in Colorado, I had to unpack everything and put it all in tubs to store in the bed of my truck. I knew there would be things I would need for this trip and we have been so busy since we got home, so I just left the tubs in the family room. It didn’t make sense to haul it all downstairs to storage and then have to bring it all back upstairs.
\nI spent the day yesterday going through those tubs, choosing what I would need to take with me and deciding what could be left behind and put with the rest of the camping supplies in storage. It’s actually a little harder than I thought. I’ve never stepped foot in this camper, so the only visual I have to go by is the video Janine posted of the walk through with Cody from Forest River RV.
\nFrom what I remember, there’s not a lot of counter space in this camper. And, I won’t be spending a great deal of time at each spot. I think my biggest issue will be coffee. I hate taking a big coffeemaker because I’ll just be taking it out and putting it back every time. I think pour over is going to be the way to go. I love French press, but that has to be cleaned out every time. With a pour over, you throw your coffee grounds out with the filter the same as a drip coffee maker.
\nMr. FixIt finished sealing the deck yesterday and it looks great! We need to cover TOW-Wanda Grande before I leave. That means I need to take everything out of her that I’ll need beforehand since it won’t be easy to get in and out with the cover. One of my very funny friends wrote on her facebook the other day:
\nI love how being an adult is basically just saying, “But after this week, things will slow down a bit,” to yourself until you die. ~ Lisa Cooke
\nSo much truth in that. I can hardly wait till the Girl Campers gather the first week of October. I’ll have six days to sit and knit and talk with my peeps around the campfire. And do a craft project or two. Period. The Spring and Fall “What a Hoot” gatherings are my all time favorites. We all just bring food to share and make a big pot of soup. So easy and so much fun.
\nProgress is being made and I’m feeling a bit more organized today!
\n❤️
\n“But all things should be done decently and in order.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-09-07T01:30:24-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/09/07/gathering-camping-supplies.html", "tags": ["Travel","Overcoming Obstacles","Fun","goRVing","Wisdom","Girl Camper","Girl Campers","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/09/05/soft-hands.html", "title": "Soft Hands", "content_html": "1 Corinthians 14:40 ESV
![\"Soft](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/92d4f60f57.jpg\")
“Hold people’s hearts softly…with open hands.”
I’ve learned to have soft hands in my relationships. I’m not talking about getting a mani or using the latest lotions and potions. I’m talking about holding my relationships softly. I’ve learned a lot about relationships over my life. I’ve certainly had enough of them. I used to be embarrassed to say Mr. FixIt is my fourth marriage. I mean, would it have been nice to celebrate my 50th Anniversary with the man I married in 1973? Well…if it WOULD have been nice, I’d still be married to him now, wouldn’t I? Same goes for the one I married in 1979.
\nWhen I married Mr. Virgo in 2007, I truly believed it was my last marriage and we would grow old together. Then 2013 happened, and that dream was shattered by his untimely death at the age of 62. I was only 59, but I swore I would never, ever get married again. “No one could ever measure up.” “My heart could never take that again.” “I’ve already used up three women’s quotas…I’m done.”
\nI had every reason in the book to never do this again…then Mr. FixIt came along and God granted me another chance at happiness. I’ve been able to use a lot of the lessons I learned in my first three marriages and use them in my new marriage…my LAST marriage.
\nI knew nothing when I married my first husband…as is true with most people, I suppose. We were so very young…I was only 19, he was 20. We argued…a lot. We had a baby straight away and we were separated before she was two. I learned a lot about what I didn’t want in that marriage.
\nHubby #2 was my longest marriage…20 years. And the divorce was extremely painful. When I look back on that marriage, I realize I held onto my husband with tight fists. I was jealous of his coworkers. The nurses and medical staff, the female doctors…well, anyone really. I spent my entire relationship wondering when he would leave me for some talented, intelligent, good looking, young thing. I held on so tightly neither one of us could breathe and the relationship became toxic.
\nBy the time Mr. Virgo came along, I was looking for what I DID want in a partner…not the other way around. I held him softly, but I held myself in an ironclad fist. My second marriage did not end by my choice, so I told myself I had to be the very best version of myself…the perfect wife…with Mr. Virgo or he might leave me, too. The marriage was much, much happier…don’t get me wrong. But it was a lot of work to try to be perfect all the time. In all honesty, I have no idea what might have come of that relationship had he not passed away. I can idealize it and say it was perfect, but no relationship is absolutely perfect. Really, really great is a glorious gift.
\nBy the time Mr. FixIt came along, I was tired of being something…someONE…I was not. I knew if I ever had the opportunity to have another serious relationship and be married again, I was going to be a “what-you-see-is-what-you-get” kinda gal. Which works out really great because Mr. FixIt is a “what-you-see-is-what-you-get” kinda guy. I love our relationship because we aren’t guarded around each other. We’re easy with each other. We hold each other’s hearts, but with soft, open hands.
\nYou see, what I finally learned…and trust me, I’m a slow learner…what I finally learned was this: If you hold your love’s heart in the soft, open palm of your hand and he flies away…he was not yours to begin with. And, without the tight grip of jealousy and fear of abandonment, the relationship can breathe and grow.
\nI never once questioned Mr. Virgo’s commitment to me, yet I still held a piece of my heart tightly in my clenched fists for fear he’d leave like the last one and break my heart. It never occurred to me it would be his death that would crush me. I don’t question Mr. FixIt’s commitment either, and I haven’t held anything back. It’s liberating. Can I get crushed again. Yes, of course. But death has taught me I can survive anything so I don’t live in fear anymore. I have soft hands. And that is a much more graceful way to live.
\n❤️
\n“Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-09-05T01:30:37-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/09/05/soft-hands.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","Growth","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Aging","Change","Widow","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/09/04/the-other-side-of-fear.html", "title": "The Other Side of Fear", "content_html": "Philippians 4:5 NIV
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/36c271d072.jpg\")
“Everything you want is on the other side of fear.” Jack Canfield
I hear from a lot of widows who face fear as one of their most difficult symptoms of grief. Fear of the unknown…fear of being alone…fear of other people’s motives. Navigating grief is difficult enough on it’s own. Add fear, anxiety, and even full blown panic attacks and it ratchets grief up to an unbearable level.
\nI’ve always had a bit of an anxious nature. Anticipatory social anxiety. Commonly called “stage fright”. I’ve come a long way in learning to control it. Sometimes it bothers me. Sometimes it doesn’t. I’ve learned the things I most want to do lie on the other side of that fear, so I have to figure out ways to get through to the other side in order to find my bliss.
\nThe fear I felt early on after losing Mr. Virgo was different than my usual pre-speech jitters. It was hold-onto-the-edge-of-the-mattress-all-night awful. Through trial and error, I’ve learned a lot of skills…tools for my tool box, so to speak. If I feel myself amping up, one of the things that almost immediately calms me down is listening to praise music. If I’m singing at the top of my lungs, its really difficult to be scared.
\nI’ve had so many people tell me they would really love to take off camping or traveling by themselves but they are too scared. The bottom line any grief mentor should take is honoring what others are and are not capable of. That being said, if it really is something you want to do, there are ways you can ease into scary situations without jumping in with both feet.
\nFinding a like-minded friend to do things with can help a lot when it comes to doing new things. Taking little baby steps helps, as well. If your dream is to take a month long trip to Europe but you have panic attacks going to the grocery store, you need to desensitize yourself. Start with little excursions. A short day trip. Repeat till you’re comfortable. Then an overnight, then two…you get the idea. Getting professional help can go a long way toward building your confidence and getting down to the root of the issues you face.
\nWhen I was planning the trip to Colorado, my biggest concerns were the social obligations of my daughter’s wedding and being so far away from Mr. FixIt. Losing Mr. Virgo so suddenly brings the possibility of a repeat to the forefront of my imagination. So, yeah…that makes me nervous. The night before the trip, my stomach was in knots but I did my routine and the next morning, I was good to go. It’s not the actual DOING that bothers me…it’s the anticipation. And, sometimes I just have to do the thing and feel the fear.
\nI’m really excited about the opportunity to take this new camper around. There’s nothing about it that scares me, per se. I may have pre-trip jitters the night before. I may not. Knowing what it is, knowing how to redirect my thinking, knowing just what I need to do helps me feel less out of control and more confident in my own abilities.
\nWhat I want is often on the other side of fear, but that’s exactly what makes the experience so much richer. I know exactly what I had to get through to get there and that makes me brave! After all…so far, I have survived every single experience I’ve encountered in my life!
\n❤️
\n“Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.\"”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-09-04T01:30:51-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/09/04/the-other-side-of-fear.html", "tags": ["Faith","Health","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","God","Peace","Wisdom","Fear","Aging","Choices","Change","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/09/03/random-acts-of-kindnesssenseless-acts.html", "title": "Random Acts of Kindness...Senseless Acts of Beauty", "content_html": "Deuteronomy 31:6 ESV
![\"Kind](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/4749d18769.jpg\")
“My grandma always said you can catch a lot more flies with honey than you can with vinegar.”
About thirty years ago, a woman named Anne Herbert wrote something on a placemat in a restaurant. “Practice random acts of kindness and senseless acts of beauty.” Since then, countless posters, books, t-shirts, and movies have incorporated this idea of doing something for others…some kindness…without expecting anything in return. Things like paying for the person behind you in the drive through at the local coffee shop. Or, leaving a basket of flowers on someone’s doorstep. Or, something I like to do every once in a while….put a sticky note on a $5 bill with a note like “God loves you!”…then tuck it in a book at the library or a book store.
\nPracticing random acts of kindness didn’t start with Ms. Herbert, of course. The original practitioner was Jesus, of course…and we would do well to strive to emulate Him. Being a good person seems to be rapidly going out of style. My dad wasn’t what you would call a profound thinker, but he said one thing that always stuck with me. “Computers will be the downfall of mankind.” I think I rolled my eyes when he said that. But maybe he wasn’t so far off.
\nI don’t think it’s computers, per se, that will be the downfall of man. I think it’s how computers are used. Social media has created a monster. It’s given people a voice who may never have had one. It’s placed a filter between people….it’s created an US against THEM atmosphere. And, it has taken away the social filter of eye contact, allowing whatever vitriol that comes to mind to flow through the keyboard without repercussion. Cyber bullying isn’t limited to 8th grade girls and misunderstood emo boys.
\nI will have to say…thankfully there has been very little in the way of nastiness on this page. I won’t tolerate it and the few times it’s happened, the instigator has been blocked and the offending message deleted. That isn’t the case everywhere. It’s hard to judge the “tone” of a message when it’s written. All it takes is one “rude” comment to unleash a flood of bullying back and forth…and that’s with grown adults!
\nIt’s a new month. School is back in session. I don’t want to wait for Christmas to have the good feels. Let’s go out today and do kind things for people. If it’s not new to you, great! Keep up the good work! If it’s been a while and you’d like to rectify that situation, go out there and do something nice for someone today. And if someone does something nice for you, pay it forward.
\nWe attract to us what we dish out. If we are negative and uncaring, we just get more of the same. If we are kind and loving, there is a better chance of attracting that same kindness and love. If it doesn’t come right away…keep trying. It never hurts to spread good vibes around the world.
\n❤️
\n“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-09-03T01:30:15-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/09/03/random-acts-of-kindnesssenseless-acts.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Humbled","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/09/02/the-tug-of-war.html", "title": "The Tug of War", "content_html": "Ephesians 4:32 ESV
![\"Angel](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/9046855216.jpg\")
“Angel on one hand, devil on the other…trying to have their way with me.”
Mr. FixIt and I haven’t had a lot of time together this summer. I was gone a lot and, even though he joined me for three weeks in Colorado, we both have been working nonstop at this and that since we got home the first week of August. Here it is September already and I’m already preparing to leave again.
\nWe miss being together and we both know the importance of devoting time to our relationship. It’s been really nice this weekend because we took three days off for some much needed R&R. When I woke up yesterday, I was tired. My allergies have been giving me fits creating fluid in my ears which sometimes makes me dizzy. I laid in bed for twenty minutes telling myself it was perfectly fine to stay home…we didn’t have to go to church. I mean…it’s just this once, right? We go almost every Sunday when we are home. That deserves a day off to sleep in. I just didn’t feel good. I didn’t feel like going.
\nAs I let these thoughts run through my mind, I was almost convinced to turn over and go back to sleep when a stern “voice” shook me from my reverie.
\n“When you don’t FEEL like going is exactly when you NEED to go!”
\nI quite literally jumped out of bed.
\nOhhhhh….my thinker was what was “sick”. Church is the place it gets healed.
\nWhen I’m thinking I don’t need to go to church is exactly when I need it the most. And yesterday, I am not kidding…church felt like plugging in my jet pack. I got fed the energy and grace and love and lessons I needed and I left there convicted. Convinced the place to feel better is to draw closer to Jesus, not turn over and go back to sleep.
\nIt’s not enough to go every Sunday and get plugged in, hoping the charge lasts till the following Sunday. That obviously didn’t work last week because I easily could have opted out. My tug of war pitted the proverbial angel on one hand and devil on the other…each trying to pull me to their side. I know I can’t ever go wrong when I choose Jesus.
\nThe key is to draw closer…constantly. The Bible says we are to “pray without ceasing” (1 Thessalonians 5:17). The way to do that is to turn whatever you are doing into worship. Whether you are singing in the choir or scrubbing toilets, it can be done with a tone of worship and praise. And when we pray, we are to devote ourselves “to prayer, keeping alert in it with an attitude of thanksgiving” (Colossians 4:2)
\nJust that boost, and the conviction to keep close, has given me rest and regeneration. I feel so much better and not nearly so overwhelmed by all I need to accomplish in the next two weeks. I came to the farm after church…to my place of meditation…to the home of my heart…and enjoyed a quiet evening while Mr. FixIt bowled. Today, I’ll go back home and get some work done. Perhaps I’ll pressure wash the deck!
\n❤️
\n“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-09-02T01:30:54-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/09/02/the-tug-of-war.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Hope","Positive Energy","West Virginia","The Farm","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","God","Peace","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Aging","Choices","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/09/01/dining-alone.html", "title": "Dining Alone", "content_html": "Romans 12:2 NIV
![\"Dining](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/98b0114505.jpg\")
“Dining alone can be an intimidating experience when you are widowed.”
I saw her walk into the restaurant with the rest of us “early birds”. The waitress came up to her table and handed her a menu.
\n“Just one?”
\nI’m sure I’m the only one in the restaurant that saw the shadow of pain skitter across her face.
\n“Yes.”
\n“Really?”
\nsigh
\nI wanted to smack the perky waitress but decided at some point in the meal, this would become a teaching moment.
\nWhen we walked in, there were friends sitting in a booth near the front of the restaurant. They called to us to join them. The woman dining alone sat nearby. Our friends lost their son a couple of years ago. Eventually, our conversation included him…mentioning him by name, telling a funny story or two, comforting her and telling her at two years, it’s still ok to cry. It’s always ok to cry.
\nThe waitress came back to give us our check and I chose that moment to speak to the woman dining alone. We made direct eye contact.
\n“I remember the first time I went to a restaurant alone after my husband died.”
\nShe looked at me steadily. I recognized the sadness in her eyes. I sat there…many times.
\n“It doesn’t really help to be asked…’Oh…you’re alone?’ The first time I went to our favorite restaurant, I opened my iPad and pulled up my favorite picture of my husband and propped him up on the table so I didn’t feel so alone.”
\n“Yes…it’s really hard. Especially when someone comes up to you after a year and a half and asks ‘Where’s Paul?’”
\nThe waitress whirled around. It just dawned on her what had happened. She opened her mouth to say something and I quickly said, “It’s not your fault. You aren’t clairvoyant so you had no way of knowing.” But now she’ll be more aware the next time someone comes in unaccompanied.
\nAs we were leaving, I glanced over at the woman dining alone and gave her a long, knowing look and a gentle smile. She smiled back and waved.
\nGod moments. He gives us the people we need to help…and to help us.
\n❤️
\n“He defends the cause of the fatherless and the widow, and loves the foreigner residing among you, giving them food and clothing.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-09-01T01:30:25-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/09/01/dining-alone.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Growth","Grace","God","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Aging","Choices","Change","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/08/30/and-i-will-give-you.html", "title": "“...and I Will Give You Rest.”", "content_html": "Deuteronomy 10:18 NIV
![\"Broken\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/cedfd64030.jpg\")
“We can help broken people by touching base with a simple ? or ❤️…just to let them know you’re thinking of them.”
I have spoken with thousands of bereaved people in the last six plus years. I have heard story after story of loss and how their grief affects them. I have learned to keep healthy boundaries so that I don’t internalize the stories and let it affect my well being. This is something I learned in the beginning of my medical career and it’s a valuable tool.
\nWe all experience loss and grief in our lives. It seems to me, the older I get, the more of it there is to deal with. Just after I graduated from high school, I had my first experience with death. My Pop-Pop died of a heart attack when he was 72. The next year, a couple of friends from high school died together from carbon monoxide poisoning. News would come here and there…a neighbor passed, the daughter of a friend, an accident here, old age there.
\nLosing my mom was really hard as it was fairly sudden and, well…it was my MOM. My dad died four years later but the impact wasn’t as great because we never had a close relationship. Then…Mr. Virgo died and death changed its timbre. Death hit close and it hit hard and it hit home. I remember feeling…broken.
\nAnd now, there are people who are close to me who are suffering terrible, tragic things and I feel as helpless as anyone else. I want to help them. I want to hold them and say magic words that make it better. And I know…there ARE no magic words. The only thing I can do is touch base with them. Pray for them. Perhaps send them gift cards for things like gas or a meal. Uber Eats and other food delivery services can help a lot in times like this.
\nIf you are supporting someone whose world has been shattered by tragedy, there is one thing you have to remember to do and that’s take care of yourself. You can’t help anyone if you suffer your own burnout. It may seem selfish when people you love are in pain and you’re thinking of yourself. But believe me, it’s vitally important to practice self care.
\nWith that in mind, I seriously wanted to sleep in my camper last night but for a number of reasons, I couldn’t. I’m going to make a concerted effort to get out there tonight and have some TOW-Wanda Time. That is where I physically find the most peace and rest. And…it’s where I spend an awful lot of quality quiet time with Jesus so trailer time is good for me.
\nI took the truck to the Ford dealer yesterday and spent about three hours working on my camping itinerary for the upcoming trip. I made some reservations. I also found the kind of trip planner I’ve been looking for on the Good Sams page. There are lots of planners out there, but I was looking for one that lets me add and change stops and look for camping spots at the the same time. There are a lot of things to juggle with this trip.
\nI’m trying to focus on West Virginia while it is still warm enough to camp here. When it gets colder, I’ll follow the colors south. I found a map online that predicts when the colors will be at their peak in different areas. I think that will be helpful in my planning. The truck is in tip top shape. It has new tires. The mechanic said the brakes are barely worn and there are no leaks…the underside is really clean.
\nNow I need to go through the items I brought back from Colorado that were in my camper so I can figure out what I need to take and what can be put away. I leave two weeks from today. With all that’s going on with my loved ones, it’s hard to get excited about the trip. But, as one of my dearest friends told me earlier this week, my stories will be a distraction for her as she goes through her valley. I do hope they help.
\n❤️
\n“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-08-30T01:30:09-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/08/30/and-i-will-give-you.html", "tags": ["Faith","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","God","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Change","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/08/29/grief-time-grief.html", "title": "GRIEF + TIME = grief", "content_html": "Matthew 11:28 NIV
![\"Grief](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/efad09dc8b.jpg\")
“Grief is a process that varies from person to person…but there are some general similarities.”
The other day I read a Tweet that stopped me in my tracks. A woman said she had cut her two best friends completely out of her life because in the entire year after her niece died, neither one of them bothered to check in with her. Her comment came after someone checked in…a full two years after her tragic loss. He texted her with a very simple message…
\n“I’m just checking in to see how you are coping after the death of your niece.”
\nSimple. To the point. And, so welcomed it brought her to tears.
\nIt prompted me to reflect. When was the last time I checked in with my friends who have lost loved ones? I get so wrapped up in my “work”, my “ministry”, with the bereaved, I forget to reach out and connect myself sometimes.
\nLast night I spent a good two hours writing quick texts to several of my peeps who had lost someone significant in the last couple of years. I heard back from them and the response was universal…”You have no idea what it means to have someone remember to ask how I’m doing!” “Thank you SO much for checking in…it means so much to me!” “My own kids don’t even want to listen!”
\nIt’s true…once a “reasonable amount of time” passes, people move on with their lives. And, unless they have been bereaved, they may not understand that you haven’t. I remember how I felt abandoned. Like no one cared anymore. That isn’t true, of course. They just don’t have a point of reference for the depth of your pain and…it would scare the crap out of them if they believed that depth of pain could possible last more than a few months.
\nThere is no way to compare your own experience with that of another. Your grief is different than my grief. And it doesn’t matter how your person died…your grief is the worst grief ever because it is your own. But truly, I’m here to tell you, there is some grief that I cannot begin to imagine. Like the mother whose son was murdered by terrorists and left to die on the roadside. Or the mother whose daughter was found dead three days after a heroin overdose. Or the wife who returned from the grocery store to find her husband dead on the back porch from a self-inflicted gunshot wound.
\nThere are so many stories in the work that I do. It breaks my heart into little pieces. And, it makes me think, “If he had to die, at least it wasn’t like that!” I find myself feeling grateful it was “only a heart attack.” I didn’t have to watch him slowly fade away from the ravages of cancer.
\nAs I talked to my friend whose son was killed a little over a year ago, I thought back over the years since Mr. Virgo died. And, while there isn’t some neat and tidy delineation from year to year, there is some general sense of first, second, third, etc.
\nThe first year is such a fog. You are numb. You are just trying to get the next thing done, the next paper filed, the next account closed. Closet? Check. Accounts? Check. Cellphone? Check. The first year becomes a blur…a cross between busy and madness.
\nThe second year can be surprisingly rough…like you are standing in high tide during a storm surge. Your footing shifts like the sand beneath you in the ocean. Each wave hitting you blindly, knocking you beneath the surface. And…you can’t swim. Not even close.
\nAt some point along the way…you hear it. A little snippet of music. A little bubble of laughter. A little glimmer of color peeking through a stormy sky. And that’s when the tides begin to shift a little. The waves not quite so hard. Or…maybe we’ve become better swimmers.
\nFor me, the third year gave me a little breathing room. It was a period of exploration and self-discovery. A time of reaching out and stretching beyond my past and stepping a bit more boldly into the future.
\nThe fourth, and beyond, found me building a boat to carry me over the waves till the next storm comes.
\nI listened intently to my friend sharing her grief. I asked questions. I resisted the urge to share my experiences except to say the occasional “Yes! I get that…I felt that, too!” It was amazingly comforting to me when I found others shared some of the same things I was experiencing. At some point in our conversation, she asked…
\n”How is your life?”
\n“I feel bad sharing how wonderful my life is when yours sucks so terribly,” I said.
\n“No…don’t ever feel bad about that! Your story gives me hope!”
\nAnd that…in a nutshell…is what keeps me going. It keeps me telling stories…even when you hurt…even when I hurt. Because life keeps going on around us whether our sense of time has stopped or whether death has taken the joy from our hearts. I write about Jesus and faith. I write about grief. I write about pain. I write about love and joy and rocking babies. I write about travel, and camping, and becoming strong. I write about farms and mowing and fried green tomatoes. I write about life and all it’s little bits…both good and bad.
\nBut mostly…I write about hope.
\n❤️
\n“You are my refuge and my shield; your word is my source of hope.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-08-29T01:30:48-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/08/29/grief-time-grief.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Love","God","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/08/28/when-bad-things-happenlean-in.html", "title": "When Bad Things Happen...Lean In Closer", "content_html": "Psalms 119:114 NLT
![\"Prayers\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/061a136b6d.jpg\")
“Thank you so much for all of your prayers. I am so grateful.”
Since June, there has been one catastrophic event after another befall my friends and family. Cancer, Stillbirth, Mental Heath Crises, Accidents, Illness, Death. One after another after another. I’ve heard it said “Bad things happen in threes.” Try three TIMES three…and then some!
\nI once read the book “When Bad Things Happen to Good People” by Harold Kushner. The author is a Conservative Rabbi and the book addressed the long standing debate: If God is loving and caring, how can so many bad things happen to good people? While the book was written in 1981, I turned to it in 2001 after 9/11.
\nI had a difficult time reconciling a loving, omnipresent Deity “allowing” something so heinous to happen to thousands of innocent people. No doubt, people who loved Him, and worshiped Him whose only fault of the day was being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
\nI must admit, I was not yet a Christian on 9/11. It would be another three years before I took that leap of faith and surrendered to a God so much bigger than me. I was full of righteous anger that a “loving God” would allow this to happen. I could not wrap my head around it. I went to a psychiatrist and asked him for guidance. I was given a version of “these things happen”. Then I went to a Rabbi and asked him, “Where was God today???”
\n“He was there,” he said. “He was under the desks with the mothers as they called frantically to tell their loved ones goodbye. He was in the stairwells with the brave men who were helping the injured trying to escape the chaos. He was with the First Responders as they rushed into the flaming buildings, knowing full well they may not come back out alive. And many did not.
\nHe was on the planes with the terrified passengers and crew members. He held steady those that made a mad rush on the terrorists over Pennsylvania. He was with the unsuspecting workers in the Pentagon and the Towers. God was everywhere, crying out in anguish as life after life was snuffed out.
\nGod does not punish us with cruelty. He does not take pleasure in our pain. But what He DOES do is turn those terrifying moments into opportunities to lean into Him. To call out for Him. To have faith that, even in the darkest moments, He never forsakes us.
\nAnd that brings me to the events that have cast a shadow over my circle of friends and family…those I hold most dear and those whom I only know through others. We ask ourselves why these things happen, one on top of the other and the only answer there could be is…this is the nature of life.
\nAs Stephen Colbert so eloquently stated on the subject of grief and the loss of his father and two brothers in a plane crash when he was ten: about learning to “love the thing that I most wish had not happened.” He went on to say: “It’s a gift to exist and with existence comes suffering. There’s no escaping that. What do you get from loss? You get awareness of other people’s loss, which allows you to connect with that other person, which allows you to love more deeply and to understand what it’s like to be a human being if it’s true that all humans suffer.”
\nI hate that my loved ones and friends are suffering. I wish I could take that pain away from them. But, if by doing so, I would rob them of the awareness of other people’s loss and subsequent connection with them, then I am denying them their humanness…their connectedness. I would rob them of the opportunity to love more deeply and to truly understand what it’s like to be human.
\nWhat I CAN do for them is to be there for them, to hold a sacred, safe space for them to come to and grieve. And I can encourage them to seek a closer relationship with their higher power, which for me personally is God.
\nOur pastor said something the other day that struck me. I’m paraphrasing, but it went something like this: When disaster strikes you and you wail in your grief, this is normal. But lean in very close and put your ear to God’s lips and listen.
\nHe is closest to the brokenhearted.
\n❤️
\n“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-08-28T01:30:30-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/08/28/when-bad-things-happenlean-in.html", "tags": ["Faith","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","God","Wisdom","Fear","Choices","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/08/23/freda-the-ford-got-new.html", "title": "Freda the Ford Got New Shoes!", "content_html": "Psalms 34:18 NLT
![\"New](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/493dfbb6df.jpg\")
“New tires for the truck! Getting ready for the next Grand Adventure!”
I’ve been putting off getting new tires for my truck, but with a five month epic camping trip coming up, I couldn’t wait any longer. Mr. FixIt scoured the internet and found a good set of Michelin tires through Walmart. You pretty much have to order tires and wait for them anymore. Not that many places carry a big inventory.
\nWe went out for supper after I finished with the tire ordeal (three and a half hours for a predicted one and a half hour wait). When we came out of the restaurant, we decided to take my truck for a spin on the interstate so we could feel and make sure the tires were balanced correctly. And…we had to go to Sam’s.
\nOne of my readers sent a message asking me which exact mattress we purchased (a Queen Size Sealy “Mattress-to-Go” 12” Luxury Memory Foam Mattress) so I went on the Sam’s app to copy the link. And what did I find? The same mattress we paid $499 for, and was delivered to the house the day before, was now $100 cheaper! We discussed it over dinner and decided to go back to Sam’s and complain.
\nThe little gal at the customer service desk was so sweet, but she couldn’t really help us because we ordered the mattress via the .com route and their numbers/system is different than the club’s. She gave me the phone number for the .com people and after being on hold for-ev-er, I was connected to the “Sealy People”. I explained to Gina, the very helpful agent, that I probably wouldn’t say a thing if the mattress was $20 cheaper the next day, but $100 is a little bit hard to swallow.
\nYou know what she did? She said, “I can totally understand. Let me fix that.” I heard the tap-tap-tap of a keyboard in the background. “There! I credited your account the $100. Well, $100 plus tax. Is there anything else I can do for you today?”
\nAre you kidding? It was that easy! I said, “No. But I have to tell you…you made my day!” Kudos to Gina in Customer Service at Sam’s Club. She rocks!
\nWhen we went back out to the truck, I saw something on my front tire. I went in for a close look and there were little areas that looked like the tread was separating from the tire. Neither Mr. FixIt nor I have ever seen something like that, so now I have to take the truck back in this morning and have the tire folks at Walmart have a peek at the tires. It’s always something, isn’t it?
\nThis afternoon I have an appointment at the Ford dealer to have them go over the truck and make sure there’s nothing lurking in the background that needs fixed. I have to give my Ford dealer kudos, as well. They never try to push something unnecessary on me. As a matter of fact, when I had them do this last year, they didn’t even charge me. I love those guys!
\nI’m getting all my ducks in a row so when I head out on the next Grand Adventure, I’ll be confident and secure in my towing equipment. When women travel alone, they should do all their homework ahead of time so there isn’t a crazy rush at the end. I’ve learned this from entirely too much experience, I’m afraid. This is getting exciting!
\n❤️
\n“The prudent see danger and take refuge, but the simple keep going and pay the penalty.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-08-23T01:30:25-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/08/23/freda-the-ford-got-new.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","The Grand Adventure","Growth","Gratitude","Wisdom","Courage","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/08/21/always-choose-joy-unless-you.html", "title": "Always Choose Joy. Unless You Can’t...", "content_html": "Proverbs 22:3 NIV
![\"Compassion](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/7ff59e4aca.jpg\")
“Here’s to the compassionate people!”
I’ve been on a JOY kick all year. Ok. I get it. I just got married in October and I’m full of the feels. But yesterday, I got a reminder that sometimes…no matter how much you WANT to…joy eludes you for an indeterminate amount of time.
\nI belong to a few widow’s support groups on Facebook. I have cockily thought to myself from time to time that I certainly don’t NEED a widow’s support group anymore. That is, until I DO. Then I am ever so grateful for those who share and lift each other up, no matter where they land on the grief/time continuum.
\nThere have been times when I read about the desperate sadness we as the bereaved quite normally go through and my heart breaks for them. I think of all the times I didn’t think I could go on. I think of all the wonderful people who supported and loved me through the most horrific event I have experienced up to this moment in time. There were people I didn’t even know…you readers…who lifted me and helped me move forward, even as I tried to lift others.
\nBut yesterday there was a post that garnered a good deal of pushback and it gave me pause. Basically, this person was saying…just choose joy. That’s a gross simplification, but that was the bottom line. Just choose joy. It made me think about my cheerleading and jumping on the JOY TRAIN and how it may seem dismissive of those who are still in the active throes of grief.
\nIt’s damned hard to find joy when the person who was so much your SOURCE of joy is no longer here. I know this in the core of my being. When I was in my darkest dark place in grief, I truly felt I would never find a glimmer of happiness in this lifetime again…let alone JOY. And yes…you DO have to make a lot of choices in this new normal. One of them is choosing to keep living. Choosing to keep trying. Choosing to keep moving forward no matter HOW hard it is or lonely or heart breaking.
\nWe choose to do this for others….our kids, our parents, our friends…even our person who “would want me to live my life”. Eventually, it is my fervent HOPE that we choose to do this for ourselves.
\nI have been guilty of using the word “choose” a little too blithely, I’m afraid. And if I have, and it has caused you pain, may I offer my humblest apologies. It is not easy to choose when you are in overwhelming pain. It’s not that I forgot this…but maybe I push it a bit too far out of reach to mentor as effectively as I would like to.
\nI want you to have hope. I want you to find joy. I want you to experience good things in your life again. I know it CAN happen…I’m proof. It just needs to happen in its own time. And when you DO experience what passes as joy, it may not look the same as someone else’s and that’s ok. I just wanted you to know…I haven’t forgotten those of you whose hearts are so incredibly crushed. I will strive to always hold a sacred space for you here.
\n❤️
\n“My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-08-21T01:30:25-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/08/21/always-choose-joy-unless-you.html", "tags": ["Faith","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","God","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Choices","Change","Widow","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/08/20/do-you-remember-when.html", "title": "Do You Remember When.....?", "content_html": "Psalm 119:50 NIV
![\"Old](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/fc47069f2c.jpg\")
“Clockwise from Top Right: Phone Booth, Fireweed, Joe Pye Weed, Naked Ladies (Belladona Lily)
Mr. FixIt took the day off yesterday. I had to run a couple of errands, but I was back home by noon. The temperature was already well into the 90’s by then and I actually had the thought…”Ok, I’m done. I’m ready for FALL!” Cool, crisp days with a warm sweater, sipping a mug of cider while gazing at the changing of the leaves suddenly sounds very appealing to me. And this from a woman who hates fall because winter is right behind it. Not this year…I’m ready for this sweltering heat wave to break.
\nWe never did put the window air conditioner in the family room this summer. Mostly because we were gone a lot. And also, it didn’t get all that hot till we were ready to leave on our big trip out west. At this point, I told Mr. FixIt we should just skip that particular ordeal this year altogether. It is quite a chore getting that huge air conditioner into the window and before we know it, we won’t need it anyway. That being said, we were both tired of the heat by 5:00 so he asked me if I wanted to go for a drive with him.
\nWe love going for drives in the countryside. West Virginia has the best roads for drives and there’s always something interesting around the next bend. We kept remarking how overgrown everything is from all the rain this summer. Old abandoned houses are all but swallowed up by vines that threaten to take them by force into the woods. The Joe Pye Weed covers the roadsides with its smoky pink blossoms. Naked Ladies (Belladona Lilies) poke their heads up in the corners of rural lawns. Dark pink Fireweed mingles with Goldenrod, Queen Anne’s Lace, and Black-eyed Susans. They all look like weeds, but they are West Virginia’s cacophony of late summer wildflowers.
\nWe had no idea where we would end up. We drove past the greenhouses in Palestine and saw they are filled with baskets of mums that will bloom in October. We drove past the place where they used to produce railroad ties. Mr. FixIt said the trucks traveled by night because their loads were always way over the weight limit. He said you could tell it was the railroad ties because the heavy night air smelled of creosote long after they’d passed.
\nWe finally pulled into Spencer, West Virginia…an old town built on the backs of the oil, gas, and timber industries. There are some beautiful old houses there. At one time, the State Psychiatric Hospital was located there and if you weren’t good growing up, “you’ll get hauled off to Spencer” was fair warning to shape up. Now it’s just like any other tired, old town in the Mountain State…bored adolescent boys yelling from passing cars, bored adolescent girls giggling in the booth at Wendy’s over a series of texts and photos they were sharing. An old man climbed into a car with barely enough room for him to sit in the driver’s seat. The rest of the car was filled wall-to-wall and floor-to-ceiling with trash. Literal trash. He opened the door to the back seat and carefully placed his half-full cup of soda on top of the pile, closed the door, and got in to drive off to who knows where.
\nThe Wendy’s was impeccably clean inside so we stopped for a bite to eat before we drove on to Ripley, then past Ravenswood to Mineral Wells and on home. Mr. Fixit said it would be dark by the time we got home and he was right. I love these kind of evenings with him…away from the television, going for a drive, holding hands and laughing and telling stories. It occurred to me, one of the very best things about our relationship is…even though we’ve only been together since late 2016, we have so many memories in common. We were best friends in high school. While he lived all but a few years of his life within a 20 mile radius of where we were born, I lived two years in England and forty years in Colorado. But, I still came home for a visit every year so I had my finger on the pulse of my hometown. We lived our lives in a parallel trajectory for sixty-some years before our paths crossed for good. We have much of the same history and memories.
\nAs the sun was beginning to make it’s last glorious descent over the beautiful Ohio River, I saw this phone booth standing alone near the Wendy’s parking lot. I turned to Mr FixIt and smiled.
\n“Do you remember when…..?”
\n❤️
\n“But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.”\n\n \nLuke 2:19 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2019-08-20T01:30:50-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/08/20/do-you-remember-when.html", "tags": ["Family","Travel","Uplifting Stories","Positive Energy","Fun","West Virginia","Gratitude","Comfort","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Aging","Choices","Be Joyful!","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/08/19/bowling-season-has-begun.html", "title": "Bowling Season Has Begun", "content_html": "
![\"Pink](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/6b37139a13.jpg\")
“Pink roses and strawberries…and bowling season. Somebody loves me!”
Mr. FixIt is an avid bowler. He’s been on two bowling leagues for the last thirty-five years and he enjoys it immensely. He has friends there. He has ample opportunity to talk. It’s his guy time. And, I enjoy having a couple of evenings a week to do whatever I want to do as well. Honestly, I fell asleep late in the afternoon and didn’t hear him leave. When I woke up, I caught up with my Sunday evening phone calls and chats so it was a relaxing evening.
\nWhen he arrived home, he went into the kitchen to fix something to eat and we were trying to carry on a conversation while I was in the family room. He called out, “You know…I could hear you better if you were in here with me.” Of course! Sometimes we get so wrapped up in what we’re doing, we forget the basic manners and niceties we should offer those we love most.
\nI walked into the kitchen and there on the counter was a dozen pink roses and two cartons of fresh strawberries! I am always thunderstruck when he surprises me with these lovely unexpected gifts of love.
\nI looked at him and smiled. “What’s this?”
\n“It’s been a little while since I brought you flowers. It was time.” He smiled back.
\nWhat goodness this is…this life that is sweeter than any red strawberry…softer than any pink rosebud. This is a blessing. This is God’s gift to me. This man who lifts me up and celebrates who I am. Who cheers me on and encourages me to explore and be everything I can be. This man who holds my hand in church and prays alongside me. Who holds me and comforts me when I am sick or sad. I only pray I give him this same love back every day of my life.
\nThere was so much sadness in my life after Mr. Virgo died. I swore I would never fall in love…never remarry…because the thought of going through that again was too much to bear. Then color came back into my life. And I could hear music and I could breathe and somehow I knew I could love again. I don’t know how long we have together…but it’s bowling season and I have strawberries and pink roses and my life is good.
\n❤️
\n“Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.”\n\n \n", "date_published": "2019-08-19T01:30:06-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/08/19/bowling-season-has-begun.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","Fun","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Aging","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!","Widow","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/08/18/let-the-sun-shine.html", "title": "“Let The Sun Shine...”", "content_html": "Matthew 5:4 NIV
![\"Woodstock\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/f5e6c92329.jpg\")
“The Ubiquitous Photo from Woodstock”
Fifty years ago this weekend, a gazillion people descended on Mr. Yasgur’s New York farm just five hundred miles from where I grew up. What started out as a ticketed music event soon devolved into chaos as tens of thousands of unticketed hippies made their way into the tiny village of Bethel. The festival had already suffered a last minute change of venue and was seriously short on cash, but there came a point where Woodstock took on a life of its own.
\nFifty years have passed. I didn’t go, of course. I was only sixteen and actually didn’t even hear about it till it was on the news. Not that I would have done something so brazen as to defy my parents because I know they never would have allowed me to go. I never even skipped a class in school, let alone run off to a hippy concert five hundred miles away. Still, I marveled at the mass of humanity. And, I liked the music.
\nIt was such a crazy summer…the Summer of ‘69. The Summer of Love. That’s what we called it. But the older generations thought we young people were out of our minds. Sex, drugs, and Rock & Roll. And now look where we are. I saw a meme today. A grandpa was saying he fought in WWII and built his house with his own two hands. His great grandson said, “Sometimes I put a meme on Facebook and it gets a lot of likes.” That is so sad…and unfortunately, all too true.
\nWe didn’t have the internet in 1969. We didn’t have the news on 24/7/365. We didn’t have violent video games. We didn’t have as many latch key kids and no iPad kids or YouTube kids. Dr. Spock was just beginning to tell us how to raise our kids and to never swat their butts or we would bruise their fragile self-esteems. I’ll tell you what, if I sassed back to my parents, they bruised my “self-esteem” with whatever was handy. I did the same with my kids. Nowadays, you can have your kids taken away for that. And they know it.
\nI remember Daughter #1 saying she was going to call Child Protective Services because I wouldn’t let her go to a party. I smiled and recited the number to her. Then I took her car keys. It’s hard to parent now. Having the grandkids over this week with their own little ones made me compare how easy I had it compared to what they are facing. And I didn’t have it all that easy.
\nAfter my first divorce, I was a single mom in Denver. My family lived in West Virginia. I didn’t have anyone I could leave the baby with while I went to work. I had to find child care…and pray they wouldn’t hurt my daughter. I lived in HUD housing, on food stamps and WIC. I drove a beat up old Pontiac that I paid some Iranians $200 for. The hood and the trunk were wired closed with coat hangers. All four sides were dented in. I prayed every day I could get to work so I could take care of us. I didn’t have a smart phone and five sets of grandparents to step in when I was overwhelmed.
\nGod knows, I made plenty of mistakes in those early years. It’s a wonder we made it through. The music of 1969 was five years old before my daughter was born. I look back now in awe. I knew I’d be “old” someday. I just thought it would take longer. Oh, sixty-six isn’t OLD, exactly. I sure feel the difference, just in the last couple of years. Mr. FixIt and I work very hard and it’s taking it’s toll. I hurt in places that never hurt before. It takes me a bit to get moving. But, like my husband says…you’ve got to keep moving or you’ll stop.
\nFifty years since Woodstock…and there’s a real part of me that genuinely feels a little past my prime. However, I’m about to take a brand new camper wherever I want for five months and write about it! Isn’t that just about the coolest thing? I wouldn’t take who I was in 1969 back for anything!
\n“Let the sun shine…let the sun shine in…the sun…shine in!”
\n❤️
\n“I think it is right to refresh your memory as long as I live in the tent of this body,”\n\n \n", "date_published": "2019-08-18T01:30:25-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/08/18/let-the-sun-shine.html", "tags": ["Faith","Colorado","Family","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Fun","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Humbled","Aging","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/08/17/running-on-empty.html", "title": "Running on Empty", "content_html": "2 Peter 1:13 NIV
![\"Surge](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/961bccd765.jpg\")
“Something’s going on with my electric supply.”
I thought I was tired Thursday night! Then yesterday hit. It started out when I got an e-mail reminding me there was a form I was supposed to send on Monday! With going to the farm, then coming back to company, smoking what feels like half a pig and processing it, I totally spaced getting that form sent.
\nI didn’t have ink in my printer, of course. So I ran to town and had the form printed at Office Depot. I took a photo of it and sent it to them, but got another e-mail that it wasn’t adequate. So, when I got home, I popped the original in an envelope and took it to the post office. I got home and Mr. FixIt asked if we got any mail. Now that I thought of it, we hadn’t received any mail since we returned from Colorado over a week ago and that’s highly unusual. I drove BACK to town to the post office again and they aren’t holding the mail. Crazy that we haven’t received even an ad. That never happens!
\nAs soon as I got home the second time, I hopped on the riding mower and four hours later, in 92 degree heat, I was finished. By this time, we had more company. I quickly changed and hopped in the pool for a refreshing dip. Everyone left to go to the pizza place and to get ice cream, but I elected to stay home. I’d had too much heat and I didn’t feel terrific.
\nI went out to hook big TOW-Wanda up to the electric. I used a new extension cord and the same outlet I’ve used before. When I plugged in the Surge Protector, it said the ground was open. Then when I plugged in the camper, it said there was Reverse Polarity. That means a line in the outlet is switched, but that can’t be because no one has been here or done anything to our electric. As I was pulling the electrical cord out, there were lots of wasps flying around the opening so they’ve built a nest in there. Our grandson used the last of the wasp spray yesterday when he was helping Mr. FixIt so that has to wait. However, when I was pulling the cord out, it got stuck. I pulled and pulled with all my might. It suddenly let go and threw me backwards where I landed on my elbow and smacked the back of my head. I’m really careful about hitting my head since I had the car accident in 2017, but I think the only thing that was bruised was my pride. And a little scrape on my elbow.
\nOur grandson and his family are going back home today so things should settle a little bit. I still need to clean the smoker out. I asked Mr. FixIt if I could use the power washer but he said since it’s electric, it probably wouldn’t be a very good idea. Poo. I think it sounds like an excellent idea…as long as I don’t have it plugged in. But then again…I can’t figure out the plug-in for the camper, so maybe he’s right.
\nI have a prayer request a day early…please keep my brother-friend in your prayers. He had a frightening medical emergency the other day. It could have been so much worse. Just lift him up for complete healing, please!
\nLast night was just one of those moments I’ve only seemed to have since Mr. Virgo died. I get to where I’m running on empty and I think, “Please, just don’t give me one more thing to handle today, Lord…I’m at the end of my rope.” Then, when I get off to myself and have a moment to catch my breath, I remind myself…when I’m at the end of my rope, God ties a knot in it so I don’t fall off. There is less of “me” at the end of that rope, therefore…there is more of God.
\n❤️
\n““You’re blessed when you’re at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-08-17T01:30:59-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/08/17/running-on-empty.html", "tags": ["Family","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Grace","God","Wisdom","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/08/15/the-metamorphosis-of-grief.html", "title": "The Metamorphosis of Grief", "content_html": "Matthew 5:3 MSG
![\"Country](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/324ad776d1.jpg\")
“The Farm. Clockwise from top left: Drying the laundry on the front porch is a country thing, Elderberries, A Rose of Sharon appeared from nowhere, Life is Simple, An Appalachian Pour Over, Blue granite pan used for dipping water out of the rain barrel.
Living in the country, you see many examples of metamorphosis. Where there once was a hairy caterpillar, there becomes a moth. Where there once was a striped green worm with a spiky tail, noshing on a milkweed leaf, there becomes a monarch butterfly. Where there once was a grub with legs, crawling up a tree and developing a hard shell, it soon splits and a locust emerges to call in the autumn season…signaling it’s time for school to start.
\nJust as there is a time for everything in its season, so it is with grief. I was thinking about this yesterday while I was trimming back the wild grape vines threatening to overtake the farm. When this blog began, I was fresh in my grief. I promised you then I would be honest and speak to you from my heart about exactly what it was like…at least for me…to go through the loss of my husband. There were times when it was so painfully ugly that it had to be difficult to read. Yet, so many of you have been here from the very beginning.
\nThis blog goes through a metamorphosis every time something changes in my life. What started out as a method of pouring out my pain, morphed into learning how to navigate that. It changed and grew just as I changed and grew. It’s not just a grief blog, although there are hundreds of posts in the archives about grief. There was a time, when my grief had subsided to a nagging undercurrent, when I thought maybe I should just quit and make it all about grief. Just leave it there. But I couldn’t stop writing.
\nWriting became a part of me…as much a part of me as my hands and feet, my heart and lungs. So I decided to take you with me when I traveled, when I stepped into the dating arena, when I got married. I thought…ok, maybe I’m done now. Maybe I’ll just stop here. But, I kept living…and each new day brought a new experience, a new insight, and new lesson. And it became my devotional.
\nIn a good cake recipe, bland ingredients like flour get mixed with sweet ingredients like sugar and butter. If baked with nothing else added, you wouldn’t have cake…you’d have some hard, flat, dry cardboard. But add eggs and leavening….take your time….and mix it well….and it rises high and beautiful. My life…my stories…my experiences are the flour and sugar. The scripture at the bottom of each post…illustrating my thinking in that particular moment…that’s the leavening. The eggs. The ingredient that makes the finished product perfect.
\nI know it’s not a grief blog so much anymore, even though I touch on the topic from time to time. That’s the nature of metamorphosis. Things are always changing…even grief. The numbing pain of the first year, the sharp pain of the second year, the personal growth of my third year, the stretching of my wings in the fourth, the explorations of the fifth, and finally…being remarried in the sixth…my grief has gone through its own metamorphosis and has settled into an undercurrent. A background noise that I have become accustomed to, yet it’s still very much there.
\n❤️
\n“And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-08-15T01:30:57-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/08/15/the-metamorphosis-of-grief.html", "tags": ["Faith","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","West Virginia","The Farm","Growth","New Ideas","Gratitude","God","Wisdom","Aging","Change","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/08/14/the-farm-is-failing.html", "title": "The Farm is Failing", "content_html": "2 Corinthians 3:18 ESV
![\"Green](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/9a329f48ca.jpg\")
“The farm is the home of my heart…but it’s aging rapidly.”
Mr. FixIt and I have been back from Colorado for a week now. We talked over the weekend and decided to go to the farm for a couple of days because I haven’t been there since the third week of June. I really miss the farm when I’m away and can’t get there. Then, Monday morning came and there was so much to get done at the Ponderosa. Still…the farm…
\nI decided to bring the dirty laundry and come to the farm on my own for a couple of days. Mr. FixIt is capable of taking care of himself and, while he misses me…he understands my need to be at the farm sometimes. He’s a good guy.
\nThere was a hard rain come through yesterday. I sat on the front porch and watched and it was soon over. The sun came out and the green dazzled my eyes. Everything was so clean and fresh. I sat for the longest time and just scoured the hillside and surrounding area…looking for differences.
\nThe power line coming to the transformer on the pole in front of the house is noticeably drooping down low over the road. A tall vehicle could easily catch that. I’ll have to report it today. Also, the big pine tree on the bank seems to be leaning further out there over the driveway. I pulled up older pictures from the same vantage point to verify both the line and the tree. Something’s going to have to be done with that, too.
\nI noticed Monday afternoon, there’s a wild grape vine on the power line between the house and the cinderblock building. None of that was there before I left for Colorado. This monsoon summer has created an overgrowth the likes of which I have never seen here. It’s like a tropical rain forest.
\nWhen I did a walkabout yesterday, I noticed another tree on the hillside across the creek from the house that has split in half. But it appears the uphill half is actually falling up the hill. That has always been the main concern here. This little holler is so narrow, and the ground is shale and very soft. It wouldn’t take much to bring trees down on this house.
\nMaybe the earth is taking her back. Maybe it’s the natural progression of old farm houses. I do know, to bring this place back to life and prosperity would take far more money than it’s worth. And, a ton…an absolute TON of work. We’re not OLD…but we are 66 and 67. The other day, I told Mr. FixIt…if we were just 30 years younger, we could do so much with this place.
\nI think what I have to do is start saying goodbye to the old home place…in earnest. I know there will come a time when it isn’t safe to stay here without cutting down a bunch of trees…without upgrading the electricity…without shoring up the beams in the basement and the attic. My time here is getting shorter…I can feel it. I’m working on girding my heart in preparation.
\nIt’s like the old man who can tell it’s going to rain by the pain in his knee. The only difference is…this pain is in my heart.
\n❤️
\n“\"Is it a time for you yourselves to dwell in your paneled houses, while this house lies in ruins?”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-08-14T01:30:36-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/08/14/the-farm-is-failing.html", "tags": ["Family","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","West Virginia","The Farm","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","Wisdom","Courage","Aging","Presence","Warning","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/08/10/mother-earthhow-does-your-garden.html", "title": "Mother Earth..How Does Your Garden Grow?", "content_html": "Haggai 1:4 ESV
![\"Pumpkin\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/7434b2902d.jpg\")
“Product of our burn pile, aka pumpkin patch.”
Back when I was a wanna-be hippy mama in the late ‘70s and early ‘80s, I was an urban farmer. Before urban farming was a thing. I had dug and turned over a garden patch at every house we rented while Hubby #2 was in medical school and residency. We were poor as church mice and we needed to put as much free food as we could on the table to make our meager budget stretch as far as it could.
\nI was dismayed at the fact Colorado has such a short growing season. With Denver being literally a mile high, compared to the relative low elevation of West Virginia, I longed for a farm of my own in my home state. I remembered my dad’s gardens. We rented the lot behind us and put in a huge vegetable garden every summer. My grandma not only had a “truck garden” across the creek…their farm also produced strawberries for the local farmer’s market. I was spoiled by the earth of my youth.
\nWest Virginia soil runs from really sandy to heavy red clay mud. If you’re lucky, you find great gardening soil that’s rich and loamy and needs nothing more than a good tilling to prepare the perfect garden. You can get all scientific and test the soil and add lime or ash to adjust the pH but mostly anyone with any gardening skill at all can turn out some pretty impressive vegetables in a fairly small space.
\nWhen we were married last October, Mr. FixIt burned a lot of brush on our burn pile out in the field. We used pumpkins as a cheap wedding decor, then used them in turn to decorate for Halloween. Once they were frostbit, Mr. FixIt tossed them in the burn pile along with whatever else was in there. He figured once spring came, he’d clean out the flower beds and trim bushes then burn it all at once.
\nWinter came and went and when the first signs of spring hit the Ponderosa and the weekly mowing commenced, lo and behold…pumpkin vines popped up all around the burn pile! I was really excited to do a walkabout when we got home this week and see how the pumpkins fared while we were gone. There must be a dozen pumpkins growing out there. White ones. Dark orange. Light orange. Short and flat. Big and round. All kinds of pumpkins. And we didn’t have to DO anything…just throw pumpkins out there and they grew!
\nThis is the stuff of my dreams….getting something from literally nothing. If we would have been here while they were growing, I would have nipped off all but one or two on each vine so the plant’s energy could have forced bigger pumpkins, but as it is, they are certainly a respectable size for decorating. And, maybe they’ll make some pies.
\nOur tomato vines did not stay tied up on the supports Mr. FixIt set out. They are all laying down on the grown and consequently, many of the tomatoes have touched the ground which makes them rot. But there are enough to eat and that’s all we care about. We missed all but the earliest summer squash. There are vegetable stands all around this area so I had Mr. FixIt stop and get some fresh sweet corn and a cantaloupe on his way home yesterday. We’ll eat like royalty tonight!
\n❤️
\n“So neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow. The one who plants and the one who waters have one purpose, and they will each be rewarded according to their own labor. For we are co-workers in God’s service; you are God’s field, God’s building.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-08-10T01:30:23-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/08/10/mother-earthhow-does-your-garden.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Fun","West Virginia","Growth","Peace","Wisdom","Choices","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/08/09/the-dmv-me.html", "title": "The DMV \u0026 Me", "content_html": "1 Corinthians 3:7-9 NIV
![\"The](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/f960f580b6.jpg\")
“Take my advice…bring chocolate next time you go to the DMV!”
How many vacations have you ridden along with me…vicariously? If you’ve been around very long, you’ll know I don’t do very well with “re-entry”. I’ve never just come home and smoothly transition into laundry and cooking and doing the everyday mundane things. And, it seems the older I get, the more difficult it is to come down off the high of a really good trip. And this one was a REALLY good one.
\nThere were a few little bobbles along the way. The whole camper fiasco was a pain in the caboose but I turned it into a teaching moment. Then I lost my driver’s license. I know I had it at the Quick Care when I had the stress hives. But they swear it wasn’t left there. I called the pharmacy to see if maybe I left it there but they said it wasn’t there either. The DMV told me to print off a copy of my driving record to at least prove to a police officer that I have a valid license and I’m trying to fix it. Our whole camping vacation itinerary had to be changed, but that all turned out to be fine.
\nThe first thing that had to be done yesterday was go to the DMV. Well…the FIRST thing I did was go pick up the mail to see if anyone had found it and mailed me my license. Nope. Then I went to the county building and got a copy of my birth certificate and marriage license in case I needed it at the DMV. I had my Social Security card and a vehicle registration with me. I have the Federal ID on my Driver’s License. I had to show a gazillion kinds of ID to get that. I thought SURELY I wouldn’t need a gazillion MORE kinds of ID to let them know I’m the same person with all the OTHER kinds of ID. HA! I was SO wrong!
\nI stood in the little pre-line line to let the clerk know what I needed. She looked at what I had. Nope. Not good enough. I needed a bill with my name and address on it. Ok, I had my health insurance bill. I handed that to her. Nope. They can’t accept health insurance. I had my taxes. Nope. Can’t accept federal taxes. OK, I said…what do you need? She underlined all the acceptable forms of identification. I went out to the truck and brought back a second registration for a different vehicle. Nope. Can’t come from the same source. Grrrrr.
\nSo, I drove all the way across town and went to my car insurance agent’s office. I changed my address on my insurance and had them print out an insurance card for me. I drove back across town and stood in the pre-line again. Ok…we’re making progress. I got a number! I sat. And sat. And sat. Finally, my number was called and I ran up to the window with a huge smile.
\n“Identification, please.”
\n“Here you go! A registration and my car insurance…both with my name and address!” I smiled. They aren’t going to beat me this time!
\nThe clerk looked over my papers and said, “I’m sorry, I can’t accept this. The address on the insurance card doesn’t match the one on the car registration.”
\n“What?!?!?!”
\nShe quietly starts tapping on the keyboard and read, taps and reads, taps and reads.
\n“What is your husband’s name?”
\nI told her.
\n“And what is his birthdate?”
\nI told her.
\n“And you got your marriage license in this county?”
\n“Yes, we did.”
\n“Hmmmmm…I can’t find him.”
\nBe calm. Be calm. Be calm.
\nThey’ve added a large copy of the law, highlighted, that says what the punishment is for disruptive behavior in the DMV. It’s pasted everywhere.
\nI looked over at the different styles of license plates you can order. And there…on number six…was a bluebird. I could almost hear Mr. Virgo say “Go easy, baby doll.” I thought of Mr. FixIt and how nothing seems to ruffle his feathers. And my shoulders relaxed.
\n“This must be a difficult job sometimes,” I said to the clerk.
\n“Oh, it’s not so bad.” She smiled as she continued to type and read.
\nFinally, I picked up the insurance card. The bottom half was kind of faded where the cartridge was running out of toner. Sure enough, under “Name and address of owner”, there was a typo in the name of the street. But, above that, under “Name and address of insured”, the address was correct. And clearly darker!
\n“Oh, look! It DOES have the name spelled right on this line! See? The other one is just so light from the printer, it’s hard to read. See the dark one here???”
\nIt worked! My diversionary tactic to take the focus off the wrong one and place it on the right one clearly saved the day!
\n“Oh, my gosh! It must be my glasses! That IS right!” She took my money and quickly handed my number back to me. “You only have one person in front of you so it should take long now!” She smiled sweetly at me.
\nRight.
\nI was there another hour before they took my picture for my new license. And now I have to look at that tired, sweaty, grumpy picture for the next however many years. Or until I lose THIS license. Whichever comes first.
\nThe bottom line is this…these people are just doing their jobs. They don’t make up the rules. They aren’t there to make your life miserable. They just want to earn a buck and go home and put their feet up. So, next time you have to go to the dreaded DMV, bring a smile. Some chocolate for the nice person behind the counter couldn’t hurt either. Maybe I would have gotten out of there quicker if I’d brought a little Hershey’s with me!
\n❤️
\n“Now swear to me here before God that you will not deal falsely with me or my children or my descendants. Show to me and the country where you now reside as a foreigner the same kindness I have shown to you.””\n\n \n", "date_published": "2019-08-09T01:30:34-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/08/09/the-dmv-me.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","West Virginia","Growth","Wisdom","Anger","Humbled","Presence","Warning","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/08/03/basking-in-the-glow-of.html", "title": "Basking in the Glow of Family", "content_html": "Genesis 21:23 NIV
![\"Sunset](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/b7073fee5b.jpg\")
“The sun goes down on the evening before my baby’s wedding. My heart is full!”
Last night was amazing. Every fear and trepidation I had beforehand dissipated as soon as we pulled into the driveway at Hubby #2’s house. He was so gracious, as was his wife. Their house is stunning. Their dogs are the sweetest things. Daughter #1 and her family were there when we arrived and soon after, my sister- and brother-in-law arrived from Utah. Oh, my gosh! It was so exciting to see them all!
\nJust before dinner, my daughter and her fiancée arrived and we were a complete family. My brother enjoyed everyone and joined in the conversations. It really was perfect. What I learned from this: When you hand things over to God to take care of…you have to let go of it. I knew as I was driving over from Glenwood Springs…this was going to be good. This was going to be very, very good.
\nAfter dinner, Daughter #2 came to me and said, “Mama…I have something for you to do tomorrow. You’re in charge of this…and making sure he has a seat at my wedding.”
\nWith that she handed me a framed photo of Mr. Virgo. She was very close to her stepfather and losing him was so hard on her. The suddenness of seeing his smiling face…so totally unexpected…took my breath away and I started crying. I wasn’t the only one. It was a very special moment and it still makes me tearful as I write this. What a beautiful gesture…what a beautiful God moment….what love…what treasures I have in this family.
\nMy baby is getting married today. My heart is so full! Thank you Jesus for every gift you have given me in this life!
\n❤️
\n“Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame. Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot sweep it away. If one were to give all the wealth of one’s house for love, it would be utterly scorned.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-08-03T01:30:27-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/08/03/basking-in-the-glow-of.html", "tags": ["Faith","Colorado","Family","Travel","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Courage","Choices","Be Joyful!","Widow","Marriage","Wedding"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/08/02/no-worse-for-the-wear.html", "title": "No Worse for the Wear", "content_html": "Song of Songs 8:6-7 NIV
![\"Old](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/80978dfcd7.jpg\")
“While once sleek and shiny, these vehicles still hold a deep beauty.”
We left Ridgway yesterday saying goodbye to our friends, Linda and Jim. We both choked up…goodbyes have always been difficult for me ever since I lost Mr. Virgo. We just don’t know if and when we will meet again and it tears at my heartstrings. I know Linda loves Colorado, but deep down, she has that Ohio farm girl in there somewhere. I loved watching her as she listened to Mr. FixIt’s unmistakable West Virginia accent and she was transported back over the years and the miles to the home of her youth.
\nEven though we didn’t go to the same high school with Linda, we know many of the same people…one of whom is Jeff. He and his wife Julie moved to the Ridgway area a couple of years ago. It’s funny how the webs of friendship cross over. Linda and Jeff were both friends with Cindy (a girl from my class) and that’s how they connected. I am friends with Cindy and that’s how Linda connected with me and the connection with Jeff was made through Linda and because he was on the boy’s gymnastics team while I competed with the girl’s team the same year. And….Mr. FixIt was on that same team with Jeff! See what a teeny tiny world it is? Jeff and Julie joined us for dinner at Linda’s Wednesday night. Mr. FixIt hadn’t seen Jeff in forty-eight years. There were lots of stories and laughs and we all had a grand time.
\nWe drove north out of Ridgway, through Montrose and Olathe (home of Olathe Sweet Corn) and on to Delta. I kept my eyes peeled for a place I found when I was on “The Grand Adventure”…that three month odyssey into the wilderness and backroads after Mr. Virgo died. It’s just a vacant lot on the main drag that’s filled with old, broken down cars and trucks. I don’t know why it attracted me that first time, but I couldn’t wait to show Mr. FixIt.
\nWe were almost to our turnoff to head east over McClure Pass when I saw them. Red vehicles…either from the faded and flaked paint or the rust beneath. Some had their hoods strapped down. Others had holes in the glass from years of being the target of vandals or the errant stone thrown back in the day when they motored down the highways of old. Mr. FixIt caught his breath.
\n“Oh, wow! Would you look at that!” A smile crept across his face and his eyes sparkled like a little boy who just found the coolest treasure stuck on a dusty shelf. I immediately pulled over and threw the truck in park. We jumped out and walked up and down the rows of derelict automobiles resting on their rims because of long ago rotted and airless tires. We peeked in through hazy windows at the scraps of stuffing clinging to the old and rusted springs of the seats inside.
\n“Oh, look! Is that a Nash? A Studebaker? What’s this one? Ford used to make a Cortina. Do you suppose that’s what this one is?” This went on and on as we dodged the large mud holes formed from the afternoon storms we’ve been getting and made our way through the maze of cars.
\nAs I looked at these rusted out hulks, I thought about beauty being in the eye of the beholder. I have to be perfectly honest…I’ve had some trepidation about the wedding this weekend. My daughter’s dad lives in a world I no longer belong to. He’s a doctor, and consequently lives like a doctor in a fine house. With fine friends. And a fine wife. Fine furnishings. Fine food. A fine life. I used to circle in that orbit, although I never really felt a part of that world, although I tried very hard to make myself fit in.
\nI have to admit. I’ve let myself be a little self conscious about my comfortable tummy and my jelly thighs and my granny-wing upper arms knowing ever so painfully how that was judged by those in that orbit. I’ve been praying about it a lot. And God whispered to me as I wandered amongst these vehicles what were once sleek and shiny and new.
\n“You don’t have to fear that world. You don’t have to feel bad for the way you fit in your body all comfy-like. You don’t have to concern yourself with what anyone else thinks of you….just remember I love you. Completely. Just the way you are. Just love them all the way I love you.”
\nYou see…the very act of feeling self conscious and judged puts me in a place where I’m being the judge. I don’t know what’s in their hearts and minds. A lot of water has gone under the bridge since those days so long ago when I circled around that orbit. It’s a foreign land to me now. I have no reason to feel “less than” anyone. I can walk right in, on the arm of a man I adore and who adores me right back. We’ve created a life that fits us perfectly and we’re perfectly happy.
\nIt’s all about love, trust, letting go, and letting God take care of the details. I’m comfortable in this life, this body…no matter where I go or who I run into. None of this is about me anyway. It’s totally about my daughter and her joy anyway. Yes…it’s all about love!
\n❤️
\n“Yet you, Lord, are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand. Do not be angry beyond measure, Lord; do not remember our sins forever. Oh, look on us, we pray, for we are all your people.” Isaiah 64:8-9 NIV\n \n", "date_published": "2019-08-02T01:30:06-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/08/02/no-worse-for-the-wear.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Travel","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Positive Energy","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Courage","Aging","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!","Widow","Wedding"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/07/29/abundance.html", "title": "Abundance", "content_html": "
![\"Weminuche](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/d11d631cee.jpg\")
“Heading into the Weminuche Wilderness”
Joyful abundance! Mr. FixIt is such a great traveler. I love showing him places he hasn’t seen. As a matter of fact, he told me the other night his neck hurts from swiveling back and forth, trying to take it all in. We arrived in Pagosa Springs on Friday afternoon. This is where Mr. Virgo and I lived in 2008. He was the General Manager for a 4200 acre luxury resort here and I did the marketing and catering. It was a short-lived position as our job was to try to turn their losses into profits and try as we might, it was not to be. This is the nature of being a fixer. If you can’t, they close and you lose your job. If you can, they sell and you lose your job. We didn’t really expect to be there long term.
\nPagosa Springs is a gorgeous area and I enjoyed the rugged beauty of it. I did not like the short summer, long winter, and gobs of snow. So I was just as happy to get out of there and move on. Still, it is someplace I wanted Mr. FixIt to see and experience. We went out for a wonderful breakfast yesterday morning then headed to the backroads. Mr. Virgo and I used to spend every day off exploring the many dirt roads in the Weminuche Wilderness. This is where I came when I started my grief journey in Little TOW-Wanda. I carried strands of Mr. Virgo’s silver hair into the dense woods above Williams Lake and buried them at the base of a tree, affixing a cross to mark the spot.
\nWe didn’t walk back into the woods yesterday. That wasn’t part of the deal. That was mine…my memory. As a matter of fact, as we drove deeper and deeper into the woods, I felt Mr. Virgo so strongly…as if he were gliding along with us. I told Mr. FixIt story after story. Here’s where we worked. Here’s where we shopped. Here’s where we loved to eat dinner. There’s the car wash where they had to unfreeze the doors so we could get out. That little bakery has the best pastries. This restaurant has the best coffee. My sweet husband held my hand and smiled and nodded and encouraged me to share because he knows this helps me heal and move forward.
\nThen…in the middle of the afternoon, we found out…great grandchild #3 is on the way!!! Another little boy…arriving in January!!!
\nMy heart is about to explode! THIS!!! This is what I so very nearly lost in January 2000 when I overdosed. At the time, my world was so small, so dark, so difficult and I couldn’t see anything beyond that darkness. And now…look at this! My world is so blessed with such abundance and joy, I can hardly contain myself! Babies! The Wedding! My sweet husband! My wonderful family! My health! My heart!
\nThank you…..thank you dearest Heavenly Father…for healing my family…for healing me…for giving me Mr. Virgo to show me I was worthy of earthly love…for giving me Mr. FixIt for helping me through the most difficult period of my life…and for this tremendous family, mine and his, that brings our numbers up and up and up! I’m so high on life, you have to scrape me off the clouds!
\n❤️
\n“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-07-29T01:30:54-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/07/29/abundance.html", "tags": ["Faith","Health","Family","Travel","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Hope","Positive Energy","Fun","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Humbled","Aging","Change","Be Joyful!","Widow","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/07/27/there-but-for-the-grace.html", "title": "There But For the Grace of God", "content_html": "1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NIV
![\"Mudslide](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/4704c77ab5.jpg\")
“Yesterday’s mudslide west of Glenwood Springs.”
I had two epiphanies yesterday. The first was the full realization that I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be. On occasion, I wonder in the back of my mind if it was the right thing to do selling my house. I sometimes wonder if I should have kept it and rented it out for income. Then, we drove through Glenwood Springs yesterday…on a Friday afternoon…on Mountain Fair Weekend. It. Was. Insane!
\nThe second epiphany was this: As we drove into town, it was early afternoon and I was going through a mental list of things to do in the area. I looked up at the gondola going up to the Glenwood Adventure Park and thought that would be fun. But the clouds coming over the Flat Tops Wilderness Area were very dark and I knew rain was coming. Scratch that idea. My next thought was to see if my friend Terri was around in New Castle so I could introduce her to Mr. Fixit. Again…I looked at those ominous clouds and I just got a cold chill. We would have to go through South Canyon to get there and I was definitely being told not to go there.
\nInstead, we turned south and headed to Carbondale. I couldn’t reach my friends who are camping in the area so I found, and took, the last hotel room available in the area. And believe me, they were charging premium prices for rooms. We are at the peak of tourist season and the hotels have to make hay while the sun shines. The rates are double…or more…what they were two years ago when we traveled through here at the same time of the year.
\nIt wasn’t twenty minutes after I decided to turn south that an emergency road bulletin came over my phone. The very road I was contemplating going over was now completely impassable with a mud and rock slide in South Canyon. If I hadn’t heeded that nudge, we would have been sitting right in the middle of it!
\nOn top of all the rest of the crazy traffic, the interstate was closed because of the mudslide and they directed the west bound traffic down through Carbondale…during rush hour…and the opening of the Carbondale Mountain Fair! It took us forty-five minutes to go two miles. I don’t ever want to live in that kind of congestion again!
\n![\"Traffic\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/ffb37d2eac.jpg\")
“Traffic being rerouted by the mudslide.”
I don’t know if it’s the fact I’ve been living a peaceful life on five acres in West Virginia, or if it’s the fact that there are a gazillion people trying to cram into a small space and have fun, but I just couldn’t take the crowds and busy, and traffic, and noise. I know I did the right thing selling my house and I am exactly WHERE I am supposed to be…and with WHOM.
\nToday, we head over Independence Pass and down through the Collegiate Peaks. Mr. Fixit is truly enjoying the scenery and that makes me very happy!
\n❤️
\n““Consider carefully what you hear,” he continued. “With the measure you use, it will be measured to you—and even more.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-07-27T01:30:20-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/07/27/there-but-for-the-grace.html", "tags": ["Faith","Travel","Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","Gratitude","Grace","God","Wisdom","Warning","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/07/25/a-glimpse-of-heaven.html", "title": "A Glimpse of Heaven", "content_html": "Mark 4:24 NIV
![\"A](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/feef1d3d12.jpg\")
“A Glimpse of Heaven in the Colorado Night Sky”
I knew this would happen. I blinked and a month flew by. I left on this journey exactly four weeks ago. Time is such a weird thing after loss. On the one hand…it flies. On the other…it stands still. I got some quality time with my Colorado family. Mr. FixIt has been here almost two weeks already. The package I’ve been expecting for my brother arrived yesterday so now we can pack up and go off on a little adventure on our own before the wedding.
\nGrandma L. is still hanging in there. She is such a strong woman. She rallies and fades, rallies and fades. They moved her from her apartment at assisted living to a skilled nursing facility on Monday. She had a dream on Tuesday night. At least, she thinks it was a dream. She was lying in bed and her legs felt like stone. But then, she was standing up…strong and vital. She looked around it was so glorious. She saw a crevice and knew she was supposed to jump over it. She knew she COULD. She didn’t see Grandpa right off, but she knew she could find him easily. Instead, she decided to come back and tell us all how absolutely peaceful and grand it is. I love that she could see it all so clearly and she isn’t afraid.
\nI know she might pass away while we are gone, but I didn’t want to wear her out by adding to the number of visitors going to see her. There are other closer relatives who need to spend time with her. I was able to hug on her last Saturday at her birthday party and she absolutely knows how I feel about her. Her absence will leave a gaping hole for quite some time in the lives of those who knew and loved her.
\nWe all went out for supper last night after they moved everything out of Grandma’s apartment at the assisted living place. There were twelve of us. As I walked back to the table with my food, I paused for a moment and gazed over this beautiful family my daughter was so fortunate to marry into. Another part of my bonus family. We are so blessed…with kids and their kids and us grandparents. We are becoming the matriarchs. I thought it would take longer.
\nMr. FixIt and I will head out today for a week of touring the state. We were supposed to do this with the camper, but it’ll all work out without it. I love showing him places he’s never been! So…here we go on another road trip, y’all. Hang on!
\n❤️
\n“Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-07-25T01:30:08-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/07/25/a-glimpse-of-heaven.html", "tags": ["Faith","Colorado","Family","Travel","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Aging","Choices","Change","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/07/23/conquering-the-impossible.html", "title": "Conquering the Impossible", "content_html": "2 Corinthians 4:16-18 NIV
![\"Impossible](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/d8bcd94764.jpg\")
“The Impossible Burger…the best alternative to meat I have ever tasted!”
Back in the late ‘70s, early ‘80s, I was on a real health kick. Like…Mother Earth News health kick. I made my own tofu from scratch. I made our yogurt and granola. I even made homemade Grape-Nuts cereal. While we weren’t vegetarians, we WERE pretty poor because I was working to support our family of three while Hubby #2 was in medical school and residency. Our food budget was trimmed of many luxuries like steak and roasts.
\nI’ve always been a true meat lover but meat was expensive. I found a product called TVP…texturized vegetable protein. It didn’t have much flavor on its own but it was great in chili and spaghetti sauce…two highly affordable dishes we ate a ton of. Along the way, black bean burgers and veggie burgers were born to offer alternatives to red meat. Health wise, this was good since I had developed high cholesterol.
\nThe other night, we ate at Big Daddy’s Burger Bar and I had a black bean burger. Eh…it was ok. But it didn’t taste a darned thing like a burger. It was just on a bun with all the burger fixings. Now that I am older and have GERD (reflux) along with millions of other Boomers, I get sick just about every time I eat a burger for supper. Still, I crave them…desperately.
\nWe stopped into Red Robin for lunch yesterday when we were out and about. I noticed a card on the table saying they had the Impossible Burger available. I’ve been hearing about this burger substitute on the news and people have been raving about it. I had to try it. Let me tell you…this thing was fabulous. It was exactly like a burger, but it was closer than anything I have ever tasted up to this point and I wanted to go back last night to have another one!
\nThe Impossible Burger isn’t available everywhere yet and it’s popularity is rising so you may not find it around for a while. But when you come across it, I’d highly recommend you give it a try. I am not at all interested in this “meat” they are growing in petrie dishes, but Impossible Burger is plant based. If I could have ready access to it, I’d be more than happy to be a lacto-ovo-vegetarian…someone who eats milk products and eggs but no meat.
\nNew things!
\nAs Mr. FixIt says…life is always an adventure with Ginny McKinney.
\nYou can watch this video that explains the research and development of the Impossible Burger here:
\n\n❤️
\n“As for the one who is weak in faith, welcome him, but not to quarrel over opinions. One person believes he may eat anything, while the weak person eats only vegetables. Let not the one who eats despise the one who abstains, and let not the one who abstains pass judgment on the one who eats, for God has welcomed him. Who are you to pass judgment on the servant of another? It is before his own master that he stands or falls. And he will be upheld, for the Lord is able to make him stand. One person esteems one day as better than another, while another esteems all days alike. Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-07-23T01:30:42-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/07/23/conquering-the-impossible.html", "tags": ["Health","New Ideas","Gratitude","Wisdom","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/07/22/finding-hope.html", "title": "Finding Hope", "content_html": "Romans 14:1-5 ESV
![\"Rainbow\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/3b25e386f0.jpg\")
“God’s promise.”
There have been so many times in my life when I felt I had no hope. I didn’t know about spiritual warfare. I didn’t know the enemy was the one whispering the lies about me into my heart and mind. My life had long stretches of darkness and it wasn’t until I became a Christian that I started to see light at the end of the tunnel.
\nWe went to church yesterday and took Little with us. We sat with our friend Rick and his wife Connie. The pastor is preaching a series on the elements and yesterday was about the wind. And hope. He focused on Ezekiel and the valley of the dry bones. As far as Ezekiel could see, the valley floor was covered with dry, sun-bleached bones. This represented the dried up, faithless Israelites. The Lord asked Ezekiel to speak to the dry bones. To tell them to listen to the Word of the Lord. When he did this, the bones started to rattle and come together. Tendons and muscle and skin formed and soon, they looked like you and me. But they had no life. No inner spark of hope. When Ezekiel told God he had only been halfway successful, God breathed his breath upon the bodies and they came alive and rose as a mighty army.
\nI know what those bodies felt like. I was dry and sun-bleached in my bones for such a long time. And, when I surrendered, God blew His breath…His Spirit…into me and I rose up like a mighty warrior. Whenever I begin to feel less hopeful, I look for the wind. Mr. FixIt remarked the other day…it never seems terribly hot here in Colorado. Even when the temperature nears triple digits. The reason is two-fold. The humidity is low. And there is always a breeze. You can feel it across the hairs on your arms. And when a wisp of your hair blows across your face. You can see it in the trees and grasses of the field. You can watch it even high above the earth as the clouds in the sky scud along.
\nWhen I look for the wind, I can see the breath of God as he works over us…his children. Even when I don’t see God’s promises in my current circumstances, I know He is there…working in the background. Even in my darkest moments…during the years of depression and the overdose, during a painful divorce, during the grief I suffered after losing Mr. Virgo…He was feverishly working to turn these terrible situations into something He could use for His Glory.
\nFinding hope in today’s world can be so terribly difficult. It is easy to lose hope and see no way out. If you can just remember to feel the wind on your skin and focus on some good thing in your life, you can ignite hope within your soul. Even the smallest ember can be fanned into a flame when you seek and use the Breath of God.
\n❤️
\n“The hand of the Lord was on me, and he brought me out by the Spirit of the Lord and set me in the middle of a valley; it was full of bones. He led me back and forth among them, and I saw a great many bones on the floor of the valley, bones that were very dry. He asked me, “Son of man, can these bones live?” I said, “Sovereign Lord, you alone know.” Then he said to me, “Prophesy to these bones and say to them, ‘Dry bones, hear the word of the Lord! This is what the Sovereign Lord says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life. I will attach tendons to you and make flesh come upon you and cover you with skin; I will put breath in you, and you will come to life. Then you will know that I am the Lord.’ ” So I prophesied as I was commanded. And as I was prophesying, there was a noise, a rattling sound, and the bones came together, bone to bone. I looked, and tendons and flesh appeared on them and skin covered them, but there was no breath in them. Then he said to me, “Prophesy to the breath; prophesy, son of man, and say to it, ‘This is what the Sovereign Lord says: Come, breath, from the four winds and breathe into these slain, that they may live.’ ” So I prophesied as he commanded me, and breath entered them; they came to life and stood up on their feet—a vast army. Then he said to me: “Son of man, these bones are the people of Israel. They say, ‘Our bones are dried up and our hope is gone; we are cut off.’ Therefore prophesy and say to them: ‘This is what the Sovereign Lord says: My people, I am going to open your graves and bring you up from them; I will bring you back to the land of Israel. Then you, my people, will know that I am the Lord, when I open your graves and bring you up from them. I will put my Spirit in you and you will live, and I will settle you in your own land. Then you will know that I the Lord have spoken, and I have done it, declares the Lord.’ ””\n\n \n", "date_published": "2019-07-22T01:30:13-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/07/22/finding-hope.html", "tags": ["Faith","Health","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Presence","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!","Monday Morning Motivation"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/07/21/one-small-step.html", "title": "One Small Step", "content_html": "Ezekiel 37:1-14 NIV
![\"Apollo](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/717a3ae0b7.jpg\")
“One small step…”
It was a sultry summer night…Sunday, July 20, 1969. We had been watching the news over the previous week or so about the astronauts that were going to walk on the moon. I was all of sixteen…that magical age where you’re caught somewhere between Barbies and boys. We didn’t have screens on the windows but it was too hot to leave them closed. We absentmindedly swatted away the mosquitoes as we ate ice cream and stared at the flickering grey screen.
\nHippies were preparing for Woodstock. Giggling teenagers were having slumber parties. We were rolling our hair on juice cans and wearing bellbottomed jeans. We popped our gum and knew all about Archie and Veronica’s exploits. Dad would complain about the “yippies” next door playing their drums too loud and the cars that went too fast up our dirt street. A couple of times a week, a Jeep would drive up the road spraying DDT into the neighborhood to keep the mosquito population down to a reasonable level. And once a month or so, a different truck would come and spray oil or tar down on the dusty dirt. The first day out after they sprayed, our bare feet would be covered with a half inch think glob of sandy tar turning our soles into…well, soles.
\nIt was the summer of love. My foster sister was going to school all summer in Athens to get a certificate for preschool education. She wrote me long letters and on the back of each envelope she drew a picture of a bunny and wrote “God Bless Pink Summers ‘69” in an arc above its head. The war in Vietnam was cranking up, but we were young and in love with ourselves and life in general. War was something that happened so far away, it didn’t seem to have anything to do with us. But, in all actuality, we were living in difficult, tumultuous times in this country. We were just too young to really understand it all.
\nAnd now, here we were in a darkened room, sweat trickling down our backs, waiting for Neil Armstrong to take “one small step for [a] man…one giant leap for mankind.” I remember being absolutely mesmerized by this amazing feat. This was one of those landmark moments in time. A moment when there was a before and after and nothing would be the same again. It was a unifying event and we all held our collective breath in the moment.
\nHere it is…fifty years later. Where did that time go? It seems I blinked and now I have great grandchildren. I’m feeling particularly nostalgic because I am here with my Colorado family. Yesterday we celebrated the 90th birthday of the matriarch of my son-in-law’s family. Grandma’s health has been failing this week but by golly, she rallied yesterday and seventeen of us gathered to shower her with our love and ate strawberry shortcake…her all time favorite. Afterwards, we left Grandma to get some rest and went out to dinner at The Old Spaghetti Factory.
\nIt was one of those days we will remember always…when Grandma’s sun was shining and the moon echoed with the memories of another hot summers’ night, so long ago.
\n❤️
\n“it will be established forever like the moon, the faithful witness in the sky.”” Psalm 89:37 NIV\n", "date_published": "2019-07-21T01:30:08-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/07/21/one-small-step.html", "tags": ["Family","Travel","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Peace","Wisdom","Humbled","Aging","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/07/20/hand-it-over.html", "title": "Hand it Over", "content_html": "
![\"2](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/45c9d08a2f.jpg\")
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline. 2 Timothy 1:7”
I have struggled with anxiety all of my life. It’s so, so frustrating because I know what it is. I know the feelings are real, but they stem from thoughts. I have a whole toolbox of techniques that I’ve used over the years…some helpful, some decidedly harmful, all of them ineffective to a large degree. It wasn’t until I started studying the Bible looking for answers that I have begun to find some semblance of relief.
\nI was reading a devotional about anxiety and fear this week and came across something I had never read before but it really struck home. It talked about a secondary effect of anxiety becoming “a fear of fear itself”. That sums it up so distinctly. I really HATE feeling afraid…to the point of fearing the fear. Suddenly, it just all seemed so ridiculous.
\nThe Bible talks a lot about fear and anxiety. So much so that it is apparent these feelings are prevalent in all humans to some degree. For years…decades…I felt weird about my anxiety. Like there was something wrong with me. That I was somehow flawed and no one else had these feelings. Knowing I’m not alone…even Joshua and Mary and countless others were told by God to not be afraid. That is so comforting to me.
\nI am excited about the upcoming wedding in two weeks. I’m thrilled for my daughter and her happiness. And, it’s hard to tease out the difference between the butterflies of excitement and the quaking of anxiety. It affects me physically the same and my mind can easily take off on a wild tangent which isn’t anywhere I really want to go.
\nThis most recent Bible study I read says whenever the first feelings of anxiety or fear begin to come into your mind, think of a praise instead. Turn on praise music. Sing a praise song. Thank Jesus for waking you up this morning. What I’ve been doing is telling God about all the beautiful things we’re going to do the day of the wedding. I’ve been telling Him about the pretty dresses the girls are wearing. And all the people we’re going to see that we love and don’t get to see often enough. I’ve invited Him to come along with me and to be there right alongside each of us.
\nThere’s so much in life that can change plans at the last minute. There are illnesses in families or some other unforeseen circumstances that you can’t predict. It doesn’t help to be nervous or worried, but it’s hard not to be. As Jesus said, God takes care of the birds and the fields…surely He’ll take good care of us…even in our worst moments.
\nI hand things over…repeatedly. And, it does get easier and easier to remember to give it to God first before I let my mind jump on the worry train and go off the rails. There will always be something you can worry about. That’s how the enemy steals your joy. And, there are situations in life that you can’t help but let affect you. Things like watching a loved one decline. Losing someone or something special. An unexpected diagnosis or financial difficulty. God wants to walk those paths with you. Reach out your hand and take His. He’s so much bigger than anything that troubles you.
\n❤️
\n“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-07-20T01:30:30-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/07/20/hand-it-over.html", "tags": ["Faith","Health","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Growth","Grace","God","Peace","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Humbled","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/07/15/a-celebration.html", "title": "A Celebration", "content_html": "Philippians 4:6-7 NIV
![\"Celebrating\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/2806442ba2.jpg\")
“Celebrating a love…and a life.”
When Mr. FixIt and I got married last October, it was really a rather spur of the moment decision. I didn’t wan’t my kids to have to spend money to come out for the wedding when we were planning a trip to Colorado this summer anyway. So, I told them we would just have a dinner together with those we love and celebrate that way.
\nYesterday was our day to celebrate our wedding with our Colorado peeps. Daughter #1 organized it and we had fourteen people over for the same menu we served at the actual wedding…pulled pork sandwiches, coleslaw, chips, and drinks. In lieu of a wedding cake, and the fact that we all need to fit in our pretty dresses in three weeks for Daughter #2’s wedding, we had fruit salad instead of cake.
\nIt was wonderful to have our loved ones around us. I really wanted them to spend some time with Mr. FixIt and get to know him better…and vice versa. It was such a lovely day and everyone had a great time. And, today is my daughter and son-in-law’s 24th Weddiing Anniversary! Remembering that beautiful day and hoping they have many, many more!
\nI am so blessed to have these wonderful people in my life.
\nI ended the day with a note of sadness, however. I found out a sweet friend of mine died after a ten year struggle with cancer. Rae Ann and I connected six years ago after I joined Sisters on the Fly. She was the only Sister in my area. Rae Ann had an infectious laugh, a gravely voice, and was the best storyteller. She could make your sides split without even trying. I had the very good fortune of camping with her several times. The last time was after she found out her cancer could not be cured. She taught me so much about living the life you have to the fullest. She was camping and kayaking up to the last couple of weeks of her life. She will be dearly missed by all who knew and loved her. Rest in peace, Rae Ann. You were a shining example of living in the moment and I celebrate your life today!
\n❤️
\n“Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, \"I will never leave you nor forsake you.\"”\n\n \n", "date_published": "2019-07-15T01:30:49-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/07/15/a-celebration.html", "tags": ["Colorado","Family","Strong Women","Sisters on the Fly","Positive Energy","Fun","Gratitude","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Warning","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!","Widow","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/07/13/revisiting-memories.html", "title": "Revisiting Memories", "content_html": "Hebrews 13:5 ESV
![\"Drum](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/e517053898.jpg\")
“Daughter #2…Marching to her own drum!”
When Daughter #2 was thirteen years old, she and I took off for a three week road trip. It was epic. She was not only in that early teenager mode. We were also working on repairing the damage done from years of depression and too many prescriptions and martinis…not to mention the overdose. It took a lot out of our relationship.
\nWhen I arrived in Denver this visit, the ultimate goal is the wedding. My baby is getting married. My little Moon Pie. Only, she’s a full grown woman…out on her own…thriving…dancing to her own drum, as always. We saw each other the day after I got here and spent several hours visiting and dining out. She made me promise we would do one special thing…just the two of us…before the wedding.
\nShe wanted to go antiquing.
\nI couldn’t believe my ears. Antiquing? This poor kid was dragged, kicking and screaming, into every antique store in West Virginia, I think. And several between there and Colorado. I loved going to antique stores. She did not. So, this was new. I asked her what brought on this miraculous transformation.
\n“I don’t know. Just…suddenly, I find myself looking at antiques online. For fun.”
\nLadies and gentleman…there IS life after adolescence!!!
\nSo, yesterday was our antiquing adventure. We started out by having lunch with Daughter #1, Big, and Little. Oh…if you have children, you know what that did to my heart…sitting there with my Colorado kids! ❤️melt After lunch, Daughter #2 and I went to the Brass Armadillo off I-70 and Kipling.
\nWe walked in and she stopped in her tracks. Her eyes widened, her mouth dropped open, and she gasped.
\n“This place is HUGE!”
\nYes, my girl…it is!
\nWe wandered around for three hours. She kept grabbing my arm and pulling me over to see this or that. Lots of oooohs and aaaahs and wows. Several times she wrapped her arms around me and hugged me tight and thanked me so much for doing this with her. That’s when I realized…this was SO much more than going to see a bunch of old stuff.
\nThis was a celebration. Of healing. Of love. Of warm memories shared. Even of forgiveness. This was a bonding ritual…something only she and I could share as the wedding rapidly approaches and her life is forever changed. This was incredibly special. And we enjoyed every minute of it.
\nWe didn’t get to see 1/4th of the store before we were both fried. We left arm in arm and headed out to the truck. I drove her back to her car. As she prepared to leave she reached over and kissed me on the cheek.
\n“Thank you, mamacita. That was so much fun!”
\nYou’re welcome, Moon Pie.
\n❤️
\n“Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-07-13T01:30:54-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/07/13/revisiting-memories.html", "tags": ["Health","Family","Travel","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Fun","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Aging","Presence","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!","Widow","Wedding"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/07/12/saying-goodbye-to-towwanda.html", "title": "Saying Goodbye to TOW-Wanda!", "content_html": "Psalm 127:3 NIV
![\"Camper\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/3d31846cc1.jpg\")
“TOW-Wanda…being towed away to her new life with a boy.”
Night before last, I put the camper on Facebook Marketplace at 10:00. It sold in thirty minutes! And, there were thirty people right behind the guy I sold it to, ready to step up and pay cash. I was shocked. I was forthright in explaining the camper needed work or would be perfect for a backyard she shed, writer’s nook, guest quarters, or kids playhouse. Still, the price and “camper” were enough to bring everyone out of the woodwork seeking a deal.
\nThe first person who said he wanted it was a guy who just got married on the 8th. He was so excited to get the camper, he was knowledgeable and fully understood what it was going to take to get her fixed. He wanted to fix up TOW-Wanda so he could take his son camping. He took a picture and sent it to his dad. Then he FaceTimed with his son and I could hear their excitement.
\nThis guy knew campers. He knew what it would take to really fix her right. I am so glad about that because I was worried someone who didn’t really know about them might get it and not heed my warnings and try to tow it to the mountains. We had a long talk. We negotiated a price that was fair and acceptable to us both. I told him, I could see God’s hand all over this. For me…to learn a valuable lesson about inspecting campers well before you buy them. And for him…to affordably get into a camper that he has the skills to fix so that he can be a good dad to his son.
\nYes…I lost money on the deal. But, no one got hurt…just my pride. And there’s a little boy out there who is going to be one happy camper when he gets to go out in the mountains with his dad. There is no price tag on the making of a man.
\n❤️
\n“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”\n\n \n", "date_published": "2019-07-12T01:30:35-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/07/12/saying-goodbye-to-towwanda.html", "tags": ["Travel","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","TOW-Wanda!","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Humbled","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/07/09/a-quick-road-trip.html", "title": "A Quick Road Trip", "content_html": "Jeremiah 29:11 NIV
![\"Grizzly](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/9699bc1563.jpg\")
“I stopped at Grizzly Creek to catch a shot of the runoff from the snowmelt.”
I decided to make a quick trip up to the mountains to see my brother yesterday. We only get to see each other a few short days when I come to Colorado every summer. Bless his heart…I felt he looked better this time than he did last summer. Although he uses a walker all the time now, he seemed stronger. He is shrinking with age and the first thing he always asks me is, “Are you getting taller???”
\nMy brother has cerebral palsy and some diminished intellectual capacity. His memory has never been very good and it’s only getting worse. He thought I hadn’t come to see him in years but I see him every summer. I told him I would try to figure out how to FaceTime with him. Computers are too complicated for him, but a friend told me about something called a “GrandPad”. I think it’s just for email and pictures though. It doesn’t do video chat. We’ll work something out.
\nI was a little saddened by the way this little town I lived in for so many years has grown. There were so many people there yet I saw just about all I wanted to see in a couple of hours. The traffic is terrible. It barely resembles the sleepy little cow town we moved to in 1986. The price of progress is often quality of life. Yes, there’s a lot to do now. But that means everyone and their brother wants to come do it. Good for the economy. Bad for the working person. The price of housing is astronomical.
\nI stayed with my good friend Terri last night. We’ve known each other for many, many years and she lives right around the corner from my old house. We drove by on our way to dinner. I had visited the cemetery earlier and talked with Mr. Virgo. I was a little distressed by the overgrown weeds up there. When I mentioned it to Terri later, she pointed out the vacant lots in the subdivision. The weeds and wild grasses are nearly three feet high in some places. Like much of the rest of the country, Colorado has had a very wet and cool year which promotes overgrowth. Then, when things get really hot and dry out in August, there’s a lot of fuel for wildfires. We pray a lot about that here.
\nMy brother has a full schedule today, so I’m going to head back to Denver. The title for the camper arrived yesterday so I’m going to finish emptying it out and preparing it to sell. Four more sleeps and my sweetheart arrives in Denver!
\n❤️
\n“Yet he has not left himself without testimony: He has shown kindness by giving you rain from heaven and crops in their seasons; he provides you with plenty of food and fills your hearts with joy.””\n\n \n", "date_published": "2019-07-09T01:30:18-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/07/09/a-quick-road-trip.html", "tags": ["Family","Travel","Positive Energy","Fun","Gratitude","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/07/08/quality-time.html", "title": "Quality Time", "content_html": "Acts 14:17 NIV
![\"Granddaughter](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/7efaf7e08b.jpg\")
“Little snoozing in the morning sunshine.”
Yesterday was so much fun. Little absolutely loved sleeping in the camper. She went to sleep much earlier than usual and I had to wake her up in time to have some breakfast before we left for church. She was very excited to go to “Nana’s Church.” The contemporary mega church model suits Little’s personality to a T. She sat with me and was focused on the sermon throughout. She loved the praise and worship music. She was so animated when we came out of church and declared she wants to go every week. I am highly encouraging that because she had a definite light about her when we came out.
\nAfter church, I took Little home and traded….Big came shopping with me all afternoon. We walked all over Flatirons Crossing Mall, had a delicious lunch at California Pizza Kitchen, enjoyed ice cream on our rest break between stores. She is a frugal shopper and had a wonderful time picking out just what she wanted. As I expected, they were things like athletic wear from Dick’s Sporting Goods…with a definite fashionista flair.
\nThe weather here in Colorado has been quite lovely. We have had rain just about every day and it cools things off nicely. The nights have been wonderful for sleeping in the camper with just the windows open and maybe a small fan. Daughter #2 is in the process of changing jobs and found out today her new job doesn’t start till after the wedding. That means we get some more time together this week. I’m so happy for her. This new job pays more, utilizes her degree, and sends her in a direction that offers advancement.
\nMr. FixIt is tying up loose ends at home…preparing to fly to Colorado this weekend. I can’t wait to see him! We really miss each other when we’re apart. He has mowing to do and business to attend to. I’ve been looking up things to do to replace the camping portion of our trip. I’d love to show him the Four Corners area and Mesa Verde. We’ll see what all we have time for.
\nI hope you enjoyed your 4th of July weekend and have a wonderful Monday!
\n❤️
\n“Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” 1 Timothy 5:8 NIV\n \n", "date_published": "2019-07-08T01:30:19-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/07/08/quality-time.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Travel","Uplifting Stories","Positive Energy","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","Fun","Gratitude","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Choices","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/07/07/making-little-memories.html", "title": "Making “Little” Memories!", "content_html": "
![\"Twin](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/dca5c9cc65.jpg\")
“Little’s nest in TOW-Wanda!”
Little is here! She has been at camp all week and we only saw each other for an hour after I arrived last Sunday. I spent a good deal of time with Big this week, so I could hardly wait till Little got back and came over to “camp” with me.
\nShe is my camper. No one else in my Colorado family is even remotely interested in camping. We had big plans to take the camper up in the mountains and stay a couple of days, but with the unfortunate demise of TOW-Wanda…we had to change plans.
\nI have the camper pulled around behind Ben & Sue’s house, underneath a locust tree. It doesn’t offer anything but a feeling of protection from the frequent hail storms we’ve had this week. I’m plugged into electric and water so I have all the comforts of home in my own little suite.
\nThis incarnation of TOW-Wanda has a queen sized bed with a memory foam mattress that is swoon worthy. It had a bunk bed over the queen bed that also had a memory foam mattress on it. I removed that because I couldn’t sit up without hitting my head. The little dinette collapses down to make a separate twin sized bed that uses the seat cushions for a mattress. Not comfortable for an adult, but just fine for a kid.
\nSince I’ll be selling this camper here, I went to Walmart yesterday and bought some plastic tubs with tight fitting lids. I spent a couple of hours yesterday taking things out of the camper and fitting them neatly into the storage bins and put them in the back of my truck underneath the tonneau cover. See? There’s a reason I got that before this trip!
\nWith all the extras removed, Little has plenty of room to stretch out and be comfortable while she camps with me. We went out for ribs last night. (Big is a vegetarian so Little and I have to get our carnivore cravings satisfied while her sister isn’t with us.) We had “Mamma Mia: The Movie” downloaded on the iPad to watch after dark.
\nI don’t get to see my Colorado grands very often…so when I do, I need to make deep and lasting memories with them. Camping with Little last night. Shopping with Big this afternoon. Life is so good!
\n❤️
\n“Children’s children are a crown to the aged, and parents are the pride of their children.”\n\n \n", "date_published": "2019-07-07T01:30:08-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/07/07/making-little-memories.html", "tags": ["Colorado","Family","Travel","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","Fun","Gratitude","Comfort","goRVing","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Presence","Choices","Be Joyful!","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/07/03/trailer-troublewith-a-capital-t.html", "title": "Trailer Trouble...With a Capital T", "content_html": "Proverbs 17:6 NIV
![\"Trailer](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/e40fd56643.jpg\")
“Damage to the camper indicating it is no longer towable.”
Whenever I travel with one of my campers, I always circle around and do a visual safety check. I check before I head out. I check when I park for the night. And I check when I get to my destination. Saturday night I stayed at a hotel in Russell, KS. I did my walkabout when I locked her up to go inside and there was nothing wrong. Same thing the next morning before I headed out on the road for the final leg into Denver.
\nWhen I arrived at Ben & Sue’s house and I was unhooking, I noticed the front curbside corner of the camper had separated a little. It looked like a couple of screws had popped and all I would need to do is screw them back in. I was hot and tired and not planning to tow anytime soon so I decided to wait till I was better rested. The first chance I had was yesterday morning.
\nI went out and looked at the corner again. I tried to push back on the panel but it would not move. This indicated to me there was weight behind it and my original idea was not going to work. I got down on my knees and looked back at the base of the trailer where it meets the frame and this is what I was faced with. The other side looks almost as bad.
\nThat silver metal cover is the rock guard. It’s called diamond plate. It is heavy gauge and does NOT tear easily. I knew as soon as I saw it what had happened. When I first bought the camper, I notice there was about a two to three inch water stain on the mattress below one corner of that front window.
\nThese windows notoriously leak. That’s why most camper companies don’t build a camper with them anymore. I asked the previous owner when I was inspecting the camper if it leaked and she said she had never noticed it before. Maybe it happened over the winter and was new. There was another red flag…the front surface had become delaminated. There is a fiberglass material fused over the wood walls in this camper. If there is a leak, over time…the surface will come away from the wood and have a rippled appearance.
\nIt was a red flag that I didn’t understand was HUGE. I was thinking “little r”. Nope….big mama-honkin’ R! The more I camped in this new-to-me camper, the bigger that little leak got. I figured as soon as I had time, I would pop that front window out and re-caulk it. Done. Easy peasy. But it kept raining and I kept busy and then…boom!
\nWhat happened was, driving across the washboard that was once I-70 caused the board across the bottom front of the camper (that had obviously softened or rotted) to buckle from the weight of the camper body being repeatedly slammed down on it. This brought the body down over half an inch, dropping it onto the frame that comes out to create the tongue and hitch.
\nLayman’s terms? The camper is not towable in this condition. There are several scenarios that can happen here.
\nI don’t want to say I feel stupid. But I didn’t do what anyone who buys a used camper should do. I didn’t have it inspected by an RV professional. The inside showed no damage…it was pristine. All but that tiny leak. The only thing that made me feel better was this: The only way I could have known that board inside was rotten was to tear the front off the camper and you can’t do that. I had no way of knowing. It was just one of those unfortunate issues that sometimes comes with used campers.
\nI have backup campers at home. Everything will work out. I am VERY grateful nothing terrible happened on the road like the frame breaking in the middle of Kansas. This is workable…it’s not the end of the world. I will inevitably lose money on this deal, but that’s a lesson learned and an excellent teaching moment when I mentor women campers.
\nI tell my husband this over and over and over. “You get what you pay for.” I had the money to get a new(er) camper, but I went for the deal. Sometimes that “good deal” just doesn’t work out. And then again….sometimes rainbows come after the worst of storms! I wonder how God is going to use this for good? There is a reason this has happened here and now. I just don’t know what it is yet!
\n❤️
\n“It will be a shelter and shade from the heat of the day, and a refuge and hiding place from the storm and rain.” Isaiah 4:6 NIV\n", "date_published": "2019-07-03T01:30:49-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/07/03/trailer-troublewith-a-capital-t.html", "tags": ["Faith","Colorado","Travel","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Hope","Positive Energy","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","Growth","God","Wisdom","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/07/02/the-motherdaughter-dance.html", "title": "The Mother-Daughter Dance", "content_html": "
![\"Happy](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/90759fbfe0.jpg\")
“I am a Happy Camper!”
I danced with my mother. Not literally…but figuratively we went round and round and round. She always knew I loved her and I knew she loved me right back. I made sure of that. But we aggravated the heck out of each other more than I care to admit. We were still moving in that circle when she died rather suddenly at the age of seventy-eight. By that time, my own daughters were well on their way to dancing with me.
\nMy older daughter was very pregnant with my mother’s first great-grandchild and couldn’t come to her grandma’s funeral. I didn’t bring my younger daughter either because she was only nine and in school. I traveled to mom’s funeral alone half the way, meeting up with my Aunt Rosie in the Charlotte Airport for the last flight in.
\nI have good girls. They are as different as night and day and are often like oil and water, but deep down they love each other because they are sisters. I wasn’t always a very good mother to them. There was that long stretch when I was deeply depressed and nearly non-functional. I drank too much and I took too many prescription drugs. When I overdosed, it ripped the fabric of our relationship and I feared I would never, ever get them back.
\nWe danced our own dance. We went round and round and we didn’t know how to reach each other. I hurt them in ways I couldn’t even begin to fathom till I got well. Then I had to rebuild their trust in me. It was hard, painful work. There were times I was absolutely certain they hated me. But they didn’t really. I wasn’t the only one who had to learn who this new version of me was.
\nI watch Daughter #1 with her kids. I watch her face some of the same issues I faced and she handles them so much better than I did because she has a wonderful, stable marriage she isn’t also struggling to fix. I love watching her with the girls. Big is learning to drive. She is tall and athletic…a swimmer. She is bright and accomplished and dedicated. Little is part mini-me…part mini-mom. She is petite and eclectic…artistic and sensitive…bright and compassionate. She is a little shooting star.
\nLast night, I sat at swim practice with Daughter #1 and talked for a couple of hours. It was the first time in a long time that I felt like I didn’t have to hold my breath out of fear I’d say or do the wrong thing and not be the mom I should be. That is baggage I am happy to set down. I knitted while we chatted. There was a warm, easy acceptance that flowed between us and I realized I could relax now. We’re ok. It was a long storm, but we weathered it. We’re better with each other. My heart felt full.
\nHer kids are older now. She’s had some experience with life that she hadn’t had back when I let them down. I think she gets me a little better these days. We’re all a little older, a little wiser, a little softer. I think now, our dance is sweeter.
\n❤️
\n“\"Behold, everyone who uses proverbs will use this proverb about you: 'Like mother, like daughter.'” Ezekiel 16:44 ESV\n", "date_published": "2019-07-02T01:30:51-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/07/02/the-motherdaughter-dance.html", "tags": ["Colorado","Family","Travel","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Aging","Presence","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/06/30/americas-bread-basket-is-baking.html", "title": "America’s Bread Basket is Baking!", "content_html": "
![\"Snaps](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/4eae21c471.jpg\")
“Clockwise from top left: My rig in the summer sun in Kansas, the long straight stretch that is Kansas…look how green!, my digital laser thermometer that I use to check my hub temperatures at every stop, me looking decidedly fresher in the AM than I was by evening!”
You know you are getting into farm and ranch land when you start seeing billboards advertising bovine genetics and DEKALB seed corn. I left the Lazy Day Campground in Danville, Missouri yesterday morning about 8:00. It was a very long, very HOT day. A section of I-70 was closed at Kansas City so I took the recommended detour. I recognized it as the route I usually take anyway to avoid downtown. There is one interchange on the interstate near the city where you have to get from the right hand side onramp to a left hand side exit in less than 1/4 mile. Pulling a camper makes that a real challenge, let me tell you!!! At least it wasn’t with big TOW-Wanda on a Friday night at rush hour. We have to look for the little things!
\nWhen I was emptying the tanks on the camper before I left yesterday, it wasn’t 8:00 yet and the sun would take the hide right off of you. The temperature quickly soared to the high 90’s and by the time I was halfway through Kansas, it was 100. The low was only expected to go down to 80 so I stopped and got a hotel room. When I first got in the room, I cranked up the air conditioner and stretched out on the bed. I texted Mr. FixIt and said, “I am NEVER doing this again!!!” He texted back that I don’t have to. I’m holding him to it!
\nOk, it was the third day. It was hard. It was hot. I was tired and probably a little hungry and dehydrated. And knowing I have over 350 more miles to go had me feeling really sorry for myself there for a few minutes. But, once I rested for a while and got something to eat and drink, I felt a ton better. When I stop tonight, it’s going to be at my son-in-law’s parents’ house so I’ll be with family. It’s going to take me a week to rest up and acclimate to the altitude. Mr. FixIt will join me on the 13th so that time will pass quickly.
\nI had a lot of time to think about this as I was driving yesterday. I don’t like being this far away from Mr. FixIt. I thought about that from every angle. I asked myself if it was co-dependency. I don’t think it’s that at all. I do all kinds of things without him and I don’t need to be attached at the hip. I talked with my dear friend Deneene about this last night. She lost her husband unexpectedly about a year after Mr. Virgo died. She is also recently remarried. We decided it’s not co-dependency at all. It’s the fact that we KNOW what can happen and how quickly it can come. I don’t think it’s that I’m doing something without him. It’s that I’m doing something so far away from him and I can’t get to him quickly. THAT I don’t like at all.
\nStill, it is fun in many ways. I’ve seen some beautiful countryside. The sky was blue and wide open. I’ve forgotten what that looks like living in West Virginia. (I took the picture while driving but my phone was in a cradle and all I did was touch the screen. No eyes off the road for me!) I don’t have anything pressing to do once I get to Denver so I can relax and catch up on my rest, keep myself really hydrated to counteract the altitude, knit, write, and visit with my Colorado peeps. I could not believe how green Kansas is. They had the same long, drawn out, wet spring everyone else had. It is so hard to believe the temperature is in the high 90’s in Colorado and one week ago they had two feet of snow. Crazy weather!
\nOh, see that picture bottom right? That’s my digital laser thermometer. After burning up an axle in Indiana two summer ago, I check my hubs religiously…every time I stop and get out of the truck. I know you can just put your hand down there and feel if it’s hot, but how hot is too hot and if it IS that hot, you’ll burn the heck out of your hand. I keep watch on it and it’s always between 100-110. That’s perfect. If it goes up, it means the bearings need grease.
\nWell, I’m on the last leg of this Grand Adventure. The last leg of the first part of it, anyway! It’s just me and Jesus…making our way west!
\n❤️
\n“….“The Lord watch between you and me, when we are out of one another’s sight.”
\nGenesis 31:49 ESV
\n#Separation, #Marriage, #Adventure
\n", "date_published": "2019-06-30T01:30:10-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/06/30/americas-bread-basket-is-baking.html", "tags": ["Faith","Travel","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","The Grand Adventure","Fun","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Aging","Choices","Change","Widow","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/06/29/travel-lotsa-learnin-goin-on.html", "title": "Travel: Lotsa Learnin’ Goin’ On Here!", "content_html": "![\"Good](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/b74762fda5.jpg\")
“I use a French press a lot when I camp. I have a manual grinder, too.”
So, yesterday morning I took my time waking up. I do that when I travel. My Bible app has a year long study where you read the whole bible in a year. With the trip to Florida, being sick, and getting ready for this trip, I was thirteen days behind. I don’t like to get behind on that one because there’s a good deal to read every day. I spent a little extra time reading while I enjoyed a tasty cup of coffee. I chatted with Mr. FixIt for a while. I finally got on the road about 10:00.
\nThe drive was uneventful. I usually drive in silence because I do my best thinking when I drive. But I wanted to listen to music so I pulled into a rest area and tried to figure out how to connect my phone to the sound system on the truck. It took me a few tries but soon I was bebopping down the highway listening to some praise music.
\nAround 3:00, I pulled into another rest area and stretched out in front of my hillbilly air conditioner again. When I was almost to St. Louis, Mr. FixIt called. We were chatting as the GPS took me around the city. Still…it was 5:00…on a Friday…in June! Heck of a time to go through there. I wasn’t on the phone long because I needed to concentrate.
\nSuddenly, two things happened. I noticed the sky got really dark all of a sudden. And, Mavis…my GPS persona…announce I-70 was closed. Closed? Are you kidding me? How do you close a whole interstate. I had to make some quick decisions but the weather did it for me. The sky opened and I was suddenly driving through what looked like a car wash.
\nI quickly pulled off the highway and into a Denny’s parking lot. I ran through the rain and jumped in the camper. I pulled my vegetable lasagna out of my 12v slow cooker and ate dinner while I watched both an amazing lightning show as well as a band of bright red storms march toward me on the Weather Channel radar.
\nI looked through the Good Sam Camping Guide and found a campground on the other side of St. Louis. I called and they had one site left. I should have called yesterday morning but I honestly forgot it was Friday. I seldom make reservations when I travel and so far I have never lacked a place to stay.
\nBefore long, the storm was past me and I got back behind the wheel. The detour took about an hour because it was bumper to bumper stop and go traffic for 19 miles. I arrived at the campground and registered. They showed me to my site and it’s perfectly lovely. When I was at Walmart yesterday, I bought a replacement shower head for my camper. I installed it after I arrived last night. Easy peasy. And, the hot water heater worked! Imagine that! We hadn’t even tried it out yet.
\nAs soon as I could, I jumped in that teeny tiny little shower. It was easier to FIX the shower than it was to TAKE one! Once I was all done, I felt like a million bucks. If you look at the map, I am almost exactly at the halfway point. That’s great…but I still have a long way to go! I’m not going to try to make it to Colorado tomorrow. I’ll take it easy and stop in western Kansas or eastern Colorado.
\nLearned a lot of things today. 1) Make reservations if your camping on a Friday. 2) Pay closer attention to the calendar. 3) Check further ahead for weather and road conditions. 4) Changing a shower head is easy. 5) Listening to praise music is a great prep tool for stressful circumstances!
\nEnjoy your Saturday!
\n❤️
\n“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.”\n\n \n", "date_published": "2019-06-29T01:30:17-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/06/29/travel-lotsa-learnin-goin-on.html", "tags": ["Travel","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","TOW-Wanda!","Gratitude","Grace","Peace","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Humbled","Aging","Presence","Choices","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/06/26/a-tidy-purchase.html", "title": "A Tidy Purchase", "content_html": "James 1:2-4 ESV
![\"Tonneau](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/1bf18bb8d4.jpg\")
“A tonneau cover turned out to be an extraordinary pargain!”
I told you all yesterday about our great find…a tonneau cover for my truck. We installed it yesterday and it was SO easy. It only took about fifteen minutes to do. We had to trim a couple small places in order for the tailgate to close, but that was super easy to do. We didn’t realize exactly how good this deal was till Mr. FixIt looked up this particular model of cover. New, they sell for nearly $800! And the carpeted bed liner sells for almost $500! We got them both for $75!!! Ok, I’m a little excited! Such a good bargain hunter I have for a husband.
\nWe went to the farm yesterday. It appears the young man we had arranged to mow the yard…didn’t. But that’s ok. It is still mow-able without having to bale it. It is awfully wet out there. In the two weeks we were gone, the farm got over four inches of rain. We only got two at the Ponderosa. The ground is soggy when you walk out there. The house at the farm sits back in a holler and doesn’t get much sunlight. It’s nice for keeping cool, but causes a lot of problems with mold and mildew.
\nWe noticed some evidence of termites this time. The first time I’ve seen that so we need to jump on that right away. I did a deep cleaning out there because my uncle is coming for a visit while I’m in Colorado and I wanted fresh bed linens for him. I mopped the floors and dusted. Mr. FixIt cleared off the back porch and scrubbed it down. Everything looked wonderful when we were finished.
\nI had every intention of leaving for Colorado today, but have decided to wait till tomorrow. This way I don’t have to run at breakneck speed getting everything done and I can take my time. The linens have all been washed and put back on the bed. I have some items to take out of the camper…things I took camping at Blackwater Falls and won’t need on this trip. This will cut down on the weight I pull which will improve my fuel consumption.
\nOh, another thing Mr. FixIt did for me. Something was wrong with the water pump in the little camper. A water pump is supposed to turn on, build up pressure, then shut off. It only comes back on when the water pressure drops as you’re using water in the sink or toilet. Mine wouldn’t shut off. It ran on and on and was dreadfully loud. While we were in Florida, we discussed it and I ordered a new pump. It was here when we returned. Mr. FixIt installed it yesterday and it works perfectly! Now the only things I have to do is replace the shower nozzle and test out the hot water heater and we’re in business. Having your own shower when you camp is such a luxury.
\nI’m really getting excited now about the trip. I can’t wait to see my Colorado family…I’ve missed them so much! Today will be fun packing and preparing for a much needed road trip. Many of you asked yesterday. Mr. FixIt will fly out in a few weeks to join me before the wedding. Then, we will camp around Colorado and all the way back across the country. I’ve been looking forward to this trip for a whole year…I can hardly wait to get started and savor every single moment!!!
\n❤️
\n“Blessed shall you be when you come in, and blessed shall you be when you go out.” Deuteronomy 28:6 ESV\n", "date_published": "2019-06-26T01:30:58-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/06/26/a-tidy-purchase.html", "tags": ["Family","Travel","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","Fun","New Ideas","Gratitude","Comfort","Wisdom","Choices","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/06/25/road-trip-falling-into-place.html", "title": "Road Trip: Falling Into Place", "content_html": "
\n
![\"Tonneau](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/25f3a0df6f.jpg\")
“Tonneau Cover for a Pickup”
My old truck had a fiberglass topper on it. It was really nice. I had the top lined with a carpet liner as well as a carpet bed liner. I had a couple of garment rods, a light, and two 12v outlets installed as well. It had a rack on the roof for my kayak. It was a sweet setup. Then, when my truck was totaled, the topper and all it’s accouterments went with it.
\nMy new-to-me truck just has a plastic bed liner. There have been many times I have wished I had some way to tote things on my trips without necessarily having them visible to anyone who parks right beside us. I happened to mention this to Mr. FixIt the other day. He doesn’t forget things like this. We’ll get back to that in a minute.
\nA lot of things fell into place yesterday. First, we thought we might need new tires before I head to Denver. Mr. FixIt called all around and finally found a suitable pair for a reasonable price at Sam’s, but still…mounted and balanced…four tires were going to cost nearly $800! A chunk of change, to be sure. That’s the price of owning a truck.
\nWe signed in at the tire desk, ordered the four tires, and paid for them. It was going to take about two hours so we started wandering around the store. About ten minutes later, they paged me overhead and we went back to the auto department. It turns out, I had a little over half the tread left on the tires and he didn’t want me to buy something I didn’t need.
\nHow refreshing! Thank you, Brandon!
\nI did ask them, since they already had the truck back there, to please rotate the tires so they did that. As we were looking around the store, Mr. FixIt got a text. He said he had found a used tonneau cover for my truck for $150. I texted the woman selling it. She asked if I could also use a carpet bed liner! Well, yes…as a matter of fact. She then went on to tell me she was sick and tired of advertising stuff and if I wanted them both, she would sell them together for $75. Score! Now I can have a cover over my stuff during the Colorado trip.
\nWe went to pick up our mail at the post office and there was my new water pump for the camper. Mr. FixIt can get that put in for me today, I can clean out my camper and restock it, run to town, change the oil on the truck, and leave for my trip west…maybe on Wednesday! I am really looking forward to seeing my kids and grandkids so if everything lines up like this, I’ll be on my way sooner rather than later.
\nAnother road trip, Ranchers! Head ‘em up…move ‘em out!
\n❤️
\n“The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-06-25T01:30:20-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/06/25/road-trip-falling-into-place.html", "tags": ["Family","Travel","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","The Grand Adventure","Fun","Gratitude","Peace","Wisdom","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/06/24/the-simple-things.html", "title": "The Simple Things", "content_html": "Proverbs 16:9 ESV
![\"Tractor](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/2dba29f93e.jpg\")
“My birthday present…a shade for the tractor!”
Mr. FixIt and I were in Florida on my birthday. Like most men…smart men, anyway…he wanted me to tell him what I would like for my birthday. I told him, if I were younger, I would dearly love to have a chainsaw. He smiled. I told him all the great things I would do with a chain saw. The only thing is, I don’t have the upper body strength to do much with a chain saw anymore. So it was a rather moot point.
\nI couldn’t think of anything else. I don’t need tchotchkes. I like to buy my own clothes. I don’t need jewelry or anything fancy. Experiences are the best, but I was even drawing a blank for that. Finally, I told him there would come a moment when I would know exactly what I would like to have for my birthday and he could buy it then.
\nAfter church yesterday, we stopped at Lowes to pick up some dust masks so I can mow without worrying about getting another sinus infection. While we were there, I turned to Mr. FixIt.
\n“Do they make some sort of umbrella or something to put on the riding mower so when I’m out mowing, I’m not sitting out in the hot sun?”
\n“I’m sure they do, sweetheart. Let’s go look.”
\nWe came around the corner to the riding mower display and there, before my very eyes, was exactly what I wanted! My husband always looks at me in a rather bemused way…as though I’m some sort of strange and exotic creature he’s never seen before. And, I suppose in a way, I am. He has never known a woman who would want a sunshade for the riding mower as her birthday present.
\nWhen we got home, he put my shade together and…unfortunately…there was a piece that was broken on it. I managed to fiddle with it and made it work yesterday while I was mowing, but we will return it for one that isn’t broken. It worked really well. The only think is, you have to be really careful when you are going under trees because the low hanging limbs will knock it down.
\nWhen I finished mowing, I came around the corner and Mr. FixIt was in the pool cleaning it out so that when I was done, I could take a refreshing dip. What a sweet man! Afterward, we went to the local pizza joint. We ran into my cousins and visited with them while we ate. It was a perfect, sunny summer day. My grandma would have declared we are “knee deep in June.” She would have been absolutely correct!
\n❤️
\n“While the earth remains, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night, shall not cease.\"”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-06-24T01:30:28-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/06/24/the-simple-things.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Fun","Gratitude","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Aging","Choices","Be Joyful!","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/06/23/home-again-home-again.html", "title": "Home Again, Home Again!", "content_html": "Genesis 8:22 ESV
![\"Vacation](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/ec47b249b5.jpg\")
“Clockwise from top: The BEST Carolina BBQ I have EVER eaten…Phifers!, I almost finished one sock this trip, Griffen the Grey (a French Bulldog), a field of yellow lilies.”
I love a good road trip. And I love getting back to my own bed. In this case…the one in TOW-Wanda! I have missed this camper so much while we were gone. Isn’t that silly? Mr. FixIt and I were trying to explain to our friends in South Carolina the merits of sleeping in our little camper out on our property with this really great memory foam mattress. I think they got it. No matter…we made a bee line home yesterday and I barely emptied the truck before I was stretched out and writing this!
\nI got a text from Big yesterday asking if we were about to get hit with some bad storms. I thought we had dodged them, but apparently not. We stopped in Statesville, NC at an RV dealer to get something when the sky started looking really menacing. We hurried over to our favorite BBQ joint and just got seated when the rain started coming down in buckets.
\nThis barbecue place was just a chance find a couple of years ago. We stopped over night in Statesville that trip and the gal at the front desk said we had to go to Phifer’s for the best BBQ in North Carolina. Now, I’m not a huge fan of the North Carolina style sauce. It has more of a mustard base and has a distinct vinegary taste to it. But theirs? Oh…..my…..gosh. It is sublime!
\nI asked the nice BBQ lady yesterday what the best thing on their menu was. She said, “ALL of the things!” I said…bring it!
\nI had a BBQ sandwich with the slaw on it. And a side of fries. I am a fast eater. Mr. FixIt is always getting on me about that. Not yesterday. I savored every last morsel. And, I kid you not, when I beheld the last bite between my thumb and index finger…I felt sad. It was over! It ended far too soon!!! It was a heady experience that I wanted to hang onto. The sauce has just the slightest kick to it. And it seemed there were red pepper flakes in the meat itself. So my mouth held onto this delicious warmth for an hour or so afterwards. I have never experienced food in such a way before!
\nI want to get back in the car and live next door to this place.
\nIs that so unreasonable?
\nOk…ok. I’ll just have to wait till the next time, I suppose. Uber eats would be WAY over the top, right?
\nIt rained on us part of the way home but it wasn’t too bad. I almost finished knitting one sock of the pair. I caught a picture of a field of yellow lilies. And there’s little Griffen, the grey! He was just as kissable as he looks.
\nAnd here it the very best part…there was NO water in the basement!!! Thank you, Jesus…we’re coming to Your house this morning!
\n❤️
\n“Go, eat your bread with joy, and drink your wine with a merry heart, for God has already approved what you do.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-06-23T01:30:48-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/06/23/home-again-home-again.html", "tags": ["Travel","Uplifting Stories","Positive Energy","Fun","Gratitude","Comfort","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/06/21/vacations-past-present.html", "title": "Vacations: Past \u0026 Present", "content_html": "Ecclesiastes 9:7 ESV
![\"Vacation](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/8d58a1a0ae.jpg\")
“Vacation Photos: The Making of Memories”
The idea of a vacation was totally foreign to me till I was in my late twenties. My family were not big travelers. We didn’t go to the beach every summer like many of my friends’ families did. We didn’t go camping or hike or play on the river that was a mere five blocks from our house. My Grandma was only west of the Mississippi a couple of times in her life. The first was to see my Uncle Sonny get his wings as an Air Force pilot. The second was when she went to Minnesota to visit my aunt’s resort on Lake Kabetogama. Two vacations in her life.
\nWe didn’t have the money to have extravagant vacations. We visited my aunt and uncle over near the eastern panhandle of West Virginia for a week every summer. That was as close to a vacation that I ever got until I was married to Hubby #2. Our first real vacation was a road trip, car camping around Colorado. After that, we went to West Virginia several times to visit family and one year we went on a twenty mile backpack trip there.
\nThe first extravagant vacation we had was a trip to Cancun with friends the year before I had Daughter #2. We went to Hawaii once, but it was very difficult to get him away from his practice for very long. We did quick trips to DC, Yellowstone, and Disney. After he and I parted company, I traveled alone whenever I could. I took Daughter #2 on a three week road trip when she turned thirteen and took her to Mexico for her sixteenth birthday.
\nWhen Mr. Virgo came along, we had great plans to travel when he retired. We did go on a long road trip for our honeymoon. We went to Utah once, and Yellowstone twice. In the summer of 2011, I took him to West Virginia to meet my family. He wanted to take me to Europe to see all the beautiful places he had been. We were buying a camper for retirement when he died.
\nHeading out on my own again, this time with my own little camper, I found travel to be my solace…my escape…a panacea for the pain of losing my husband. I traveled a lot in those years following his death. And, I was still on the road when my Uncle Bud called me home to live on the family farm. Even living there seemed like a vacation…a dream vacation luxuriating in the memories of my loving family.
\nThen, Mr. FixIt came along. Thankfully, he was retired and itching to get out and do things. We’ve already accomplished more travel in the short time we’ve been together than I did in the last thirty years. But, is it really “vacation” when you’re retired? Yes and no. No, because every day is Saturday, to some extent. We aren’t bound by the clock and time is somewhat our own. Yes when you consider all the work our properties entail.
\nI am so grateful for the opportunities to travel and see new places. I know there may come a time in the future when I may not get to do these things, so I’m making up for lost time. I’m banking memories like a squirrel hiding nuts. Someday, I’ll look back on all this…I’ll read the pages of this blog or my book…and have some wonderful stories to tell.
\n❤️
\n“I perceived that there is nothing better for them than to be joyful and to do good as long as they live; also that everyone should eat and drink and take pleasure in all his toil—this is God's gift to man.” \n\n", "date_published": "2019-06-21T01:30:50-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/06/21/vacations-past-present.html", "tags": ["Family","Travel","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","Fun","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Peace","Wisdom","Aging","Presence","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/06/20/memories-of-a-disaster.html", "title": "Memories of a Disaster", "content_html": "Ecclesiastes 3:12-13 ESV
![\"Shuttle](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/094df61ba4.jpg\")
“A piece of the Space Shuttle Challenger.”
On January 28, 1986, Hubby #2 and I were driving from the airport in Eau Claire, Wisconsin to Sparta for a job interview. He had just finished his residency and was asked by a friend to come join his practice. As we settled into the drive, I flipped on the radio and heard the terrible news. The Space Shuttle Challenger had exploded during liftoff killing the entire crew. We were devastated.
\nI think we all had an extra soft spot for the Challenger crew because of Christa McAuliffe, the first citizen to go into space….the first TEACHER to go into space. My daughter was young. She had bright, young teachers. The thought of one of them stepping froward to selflessly show students what you can achieve when you apply yourself struck a chord with every parent in the country.
\nWe went to the Kennedy Space Center yesterday after a quick stop at Starbucks. When Mr. FixIt asked what I wanted to do with our day, I told him that was where I wanted to go. On the way down, I mentioned that it had been 25 years since I had been there. He said no, that I had been there with him two years ago.
\nAll the way down, I kept asking him questions about it. I know I had my accident six months before that but surely I would have remembered being there. When we drove in, I looked all around and kept saying nothing looked familiar. It was beginning too scare me. I mean, we all begin to lose some mental acuity at a certain age, but this was a total blank.
\nAfter about the fifth time, I insisted I had never been there, we settled it by looking in our phones. Sure enough, we had not. However, we did remember what happened. We were actually going to go the the Space Center one morning when we received a frantic call that Mr. Virgo’s son-in-law was in the hospital in critical condition. Within an hour, we had cleaned the condo, packed the truck, and were rushing home.
\nThe Space Shuttle Memorial has a long hallway with individual displays of carefully chosen memorabilia for each astronaut…the Challenger Crew to the left, the Columbia Crew to the right. Christa McAuliffe’s display is the final one on the left. Once you walk down the hallway and turn to the right, there is a dimly lit room with a piece of the recovered shuttle behind glass.
\nAs I stood there alone, I let the somber weight of the moment flow over me. I was in the presence of where they lived last…where SHE lived last. My heart ached for her family…she left behind a son and daughter, ages nine and six, respectively. My heart ached for all the school children watching the launch live on TV that morning. My heart is much more tender since Mr. Virgo died.
\nMr. FixIt walked up behind me and gently placed his arm around my waist. He knew. Maybe it’s the way I hold myself. Maybe it was just the church-like solemnity of the room. Maybe, like me, he was thinking back to what he was doing that day. Maybe he hugged his babies a little tighter that night, too.
\nWe finally moved on to other displays and eventually headed toward the parking lot. As we pushed the door open, we were met with heavy skies and severe thunderstorm warnings on our phones. We looked at the sky, then each other, then back to the sky. There was no way we were going to make it to parking lot six before those clouds opened up.
\nWe elected to buy a snack and sit it out under cover. We had another one of those car wash rains I’ve become fairly familiar with this trip. As soon as it lightened up enough, we headed to the truck as soon as we could. We stopped on the way home at a Cuban-Mexican restaurant and I had the best fish tacos with mango salsa! I haven’t had them that good since the last time I was in Mexico.
\nSo, our trip is winding down. We need to do the housekeeping things you do when you stay at someone else’s home. We’ll pack up and take all but what we need tonight and stow it in the truck. Then tomorrow morning, we’ll head back to West Virginia. As I write this tonight though, I am sitting in the big chair, curled up, with the sliding glass door open so I can hear the waves crashing on the beach not one hundred steps away. The sea breeze is freshened by the evening rain and it feels cool on my skin. It’s time to go home.
\n❤️
\n“You rule the raging of the sea; when its waves rise, you still them.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-06-20T01:30:43-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/06/20/memories-of-a-disaster.html", "tags": ["Travel","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Wisdom","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/06/18/working-vacation.html", "title": "Working Vacation", "content_html": "Psalms 89:9 ESV
![\"Writing](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/8e433faac0.jpg\")
“I can’t think of many places that are prettier to write than at the beach!”
If writing is my “job”, then I’m always working…every day…365. It doesn’t FEEL like work. They say if you find something you love to do, you’ll never work another day in your life. And I do love to write. I once tried to calculate how many words I’ve written since Mr. Virgo died. I stopped at a million. That was a long time ago.
\nEverything I see or do becomes “blog fodder”. An opportunity to tell a story, share an insight, or discover new places together. I love telling stories. Where I find my stretch is in writing “content”….a disconnected observation without personal viewpoints involved. It’s more like news reporting. I have been contracted to do some of this type of writing and it doesn’t come nearly as easy to me.
\nBack when I first attempted writing, I asked a press writer/photographer to read some of my work and give me an honest opinion. He told me it would never be publishable. I put too much of myself in my writing. In his defense, this was before blogs. But still, he was the wrong person to ask, or take and opinion from. If I hadn’t have listened to him, I might have been writing for the the last twenty years instead of the last six.
\nPart of this new project does use my writing style, and I am most grateful for that. I am blessed that I have a husband who knew from the get go that my writing is as much a part of me as my arms or legs. He isn’t the kind of guy that needs babysitting or entertained on an ongoing basis. He has his own interests that he pursues when I sit down at the keyboard. I am careful to keep things balanced, but when I am working on a deadline, I have to get in the zone.
\nCan you think of a prettier place to sit and write than on the beach? My only problem this day was the wind and my shorter haircut. The wind slowly sent my beach umbrella listing at a forty-five degree angle. And it had my hair in my face and eyes to the point of utter distraction. I packed up and moved up to the pool area. Much less wind and reflection on the screen of my iPad, but by then, my battery was low.
\nAt that point, my only option if I wanted to get this thing knocked out was to go back indoors. It was a good thing Mr. FixIt was ready to go inside, as well. A pitcher of ice tea was made. Some peanut butter and crackers and a bowl of berries were consumed. And my sweetheart headed off to Walmart for a loaf of bread and a jug of milk so I could get back to work without distraction.
\nI write. It’s what I do. I’ve said it before…I can’t NOT write. I’ve tried. Those of you who have been with me all along can surely remember the times I’ve said, “Hey! I’m going camping and I’ll be off the grid for a few days…see ya when I get back!” Yeah, not so much. I will drive to the top of a mountain to find enough cell signal to post a story. It’s a sickness. An obsession. An addiction. But it’s one I have no intention of walking away from because the benefits I have gained from my writing has far outweighed any inconvenience it has caused.
\nTill tomorrow…be blessed!
\n❤️
\n“Beautiful words fill my mind, as I compose this song for the king. Like the pen of a good writer my tongue is ready with a poem.” \n\n", "date_published": "2019-06-18T01:30:34-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/06/18/working-vacation.html", "tags": ["Health","Family","Travel","Positive Energy","Fun","Gratitude","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Writing","Choices","Art"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/06/17/early-bird-special.html", "title": "Early Bird Special", "content_html": "Psalm 45:1 GNT
![\"Florida](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/1957e78153.jpg\")
“Father’s Day in Florida…a little slice of Heaven!”
It wasn’t that many years ago that I looked on as “old people” toddled into restaurants to eat dinner at 4:00 in the afternoon. The “Early Bird Special”. “Bonkers!” I thought. “What on earth are they doing eating at this time of day? Don’t they know how to have FUN anymore?”
\nHA!
\nGuess who can’t eat anything other than Raisin Bran after 5:00??? Yeah…what goes around, comes around, don’t it?
\nSo Father’s Day started out great. A lovely breakfast served to my sweet man…father to a great family…love of my heart. Then, we headed to the Ponce deLeon Lighthouse. We’ve been there before. It was earlier in the day…I was in much better shape…and it wasn’t so darned hot the last time. The “feels like” temperature yesterday when we arrived at said lighthouse was 98 degrees.
\nWhen you came out of the drastically air conditioned gift shop into the Florida heat and humidity at 1:00 in the afternoon, it seriously felt like walking into a sauna. And, there were signs everywhere that said “No water bottles.” Among other important things to leave behind like pets and flip flops.
\nSeriously? You want a slightly pudgy West Virginian with heat intolerance to climb up 203 steps…without water…or air, for that matter. Ok, I’ve done it before…I’m sure I can do it again. As I climbed the stairs, I got to the first landing and remembered. THIS was the lighthouse I didn’t like before. It gets narrower and narrower the further up you go till it becomes really tight. AND…they don’t open the windows so there is zero air flow.
\nThe last time I felt like this was in 1989 when I climbed up the interior staircase of the hidden inner pyramid of Chichen Itza. Very narrow, steep stairs, slippery with the dampness, only the occasional incandescent bulb hanging dimly to lead your way. Four of us entered…our good friends, Hubby #2, and me. Only two of us made it up. Me and our friend’s husband. The others backed out with feelings of claustrophobia.
\nThis felt tight and close like that and by the time I got up to that first flight, I couldn’t breathe. It was the heat and being out of and still feeling the effects of illness. There’s nothing wrong with saying, “Nope…not doing this one!” I went down and out and sat in a rocker on the front porch of the lighthouse keeper’s house, waiting for Mr. FixIt to come out on the balcony above.
\nHe snapped a few pictures and chatted with some folks from Roanoke then gave me a jaunty wave. When he came back down, he looked like a drowned rat. It was time to cool off and we headed for the air conditioned museums.
\nOnce we were cooler, we headed to the truck and drove down to New Smyrna Beach. I’ve got to tell you, driving down that narrow little street with the Father’s Day crowds didn’t feel much different than climbing that ever narrowing lighthouse with no air. I couldn’t believe how many people were crowded into such a tiny area.
\nI’ve been there before so I didn’t really need to get out. But it was Father’s Day…we do for the ones we love. I won out when we finally found ONE parking spot in a lot. You pay by entering your driver’s license number and stick in your credit card. When the fee came up in the window, I nearly fell over. $20.00! You had to pay for a full day. Nope! Not doing that either.
\nWe headed back toward our condo and we both decided we were hungry and wanted seafood. We came by Blackbeard’s Inn and remembered eating there the last time we were in Florida. We pulled in and had such a good meal. Blue crab cake and coconut shrimp with a baked potato. All perfectly delicious.
\nWhat time was it, you ask?
\n4:00
\nThe Early Bird Special!
\nsigh
\n❤️
\n“Do not reject me now that I am old; do not abandon me now that I am feeble.” Psalm 71:9 GNT\n \n", "date_published": "2019-06-17T01:30:53-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/06/17/early-bird-special.html", "tags": ["Health","Family","Travel","Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","Fun","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Wisdom","Humbled","Aging","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/06/16/on-the-mend.html", "title": "On the Mend", "content_html": "
![\"Sunset\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/489116dcfc.jpg\")
“Another beautiful day at the beach.”
Something no one wants to do when they’re on vacation is visit an urgent care. I’ve had a sinus infection for over two weeks and even with a week of antibiotics, I woke up yesterday and was miserable. I knew if I was going to enjoy this vacation at all, I was going to need the right medication so I gave in and went.
\nI have only visited one quick care before. When I was married to Hubby #2, the doctor, we referred to them as Doc in the Box. We always kind of looked at them as “sort of” doctors. I was so pleasantly surprised by the Atlantic Urgent Care & Walk In Clinic. On a Saturday morning in the height of beach season, I was out of there in less than hour. They were professional and efficient and caring. I got the right meds, started taking them right away, and within a couple of hours, I was feeling 100% better.
\nWe went out for a late breakfast then went to the Arts & Science Museum. What an incredible display they had. They house the collection of the Root family…inventors of the Coca Cola bottle. It was really interesting. I think we had more fun in the Children’s Museum section than anything. We played with all the displays and didn’t feel self conscious at all because it was full of adults doing the same thing.
\nAfterwards, it was out for a really great meal at Giuseppe’s Pizza. Home for a nap and finished up the day sitting out on the beach till well after dark. There are free concerts and fireworks down at the pavilion about five miles away every Saturday night. We sat out and watched the fireworks and the stars. It was beautiful.
\nSo glad to feel more myself and I’m looking forward to really enjoying our vacation now.
\n❤️
\n“Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well.” \n\n", "date_published": "2019-06-16T01:30:42-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/06/16/on-the-mend.html", "tags": ["Health","Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","Wisdom","Choices","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/06/15/facebook-memories.html", "title": "Facebook Memories", "content_html": "3 John 1:2 NIV
![\"Home](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/ec2fffce65.jpg\")
“The Storm King House”
Oh, sometimes those memories that pop up on your timeline are killers, aren’t they? On my birthday, five years ago, I put my Colorado house on the market. I bought this house when Hubby #2 and I split up. It was about a third built and I chose my colors, carpeting, cabinets and countertops, and all the plumbing and lighting fixtures. Even though Daughter #2 was only eleven years old, she spent three weeks at a time with each of us. It was, essentially, the first time I’d ever lived sort of alone.
\nI was so proud of the house. I did the landscaping myself…laying sod, planting trees and flowers. This was before the days of “TOW-Wanda” so my little house was my sanctuary. I decorated like girls lived there…because, they did. I had green and white striped sofas and lots of florals. No TV. The antique rolltop desk that my uncle left to me when he died sat where an entertainment center was supposed to go.
\nI didn’t have curtains. I needed all the light I could get. I loved that house. Then, Mr. Virgo came along. Six months after he moved into the house, he diplomatically asked if I had ever given any thought to redecorating. I think the fru-fru girly stuff was getting to his mountain man sensibilities. I acquiesced and when we were married, we got rid of all the furniture and started over.
\nA friend of mine was moving to Hilton Head and didn’t want to take the furniture from her million dollar house, so I bought about $25,000 worth of furniture from her for $4,000. We painted the first floor living area as loft gold, hung tapestry valances, and brought in the new furniture. We had the painting behind the dining room table done by a Colorado artist. And we found the breakfast table and chairs at a local furniture store.
\nI felt so….grown up. All this sophisticated furniture with my homey touches of family antiques filled my heart. I really, REALLY loved my house.
\nThen Mr. Virgo died. We had just refinanced the house five months before he died. In order to give us flexibility with payments, we went with a thirty year mortgage with the understanding we would pay it off quickly when we were flush and still stay afloat on the lean months. Now I was faced with a tenth of the income and a mortgage that wouldn’t be paid off till I was ninety years old!
\nI quickly began to hate the house. It needed new carpet, new windows, new appliances, new paint. It was nickel and dime-ing me to death. And there were memories around every corner. I couldn’t stand it. I stayed away as much as I could. They tell you not to make any major decisions in the first year after losing your spouse. So, I waited till the next summer and decided to sell.
\nI wouldn’t change a thing, really. I made my decisions based on what I was faced with in the moment. I suppose, maybe I could have kept the house and rented it out, but that just presents a whole different set of problems. We went through that when we rented it out for three years while we worked around the state. In reality, it would have been cumbersome.
\nDo I miss it? I don’t know…I look at these pictures and remember how beautiful it was. I remember all my stuff I had in it. I think the thing I miss the most is that great front porch. But that is not the life I live now. That was then. This is now. I have a life now that I wouldn’t trade for the world. And, when we build our retirement home, we can make it any way we want it. And I’ll have a big front porch just like this one. That’s the one thing I’ll ask for special.
\nFacebook Memories….sometimes they blindside you. Sometimes they show you’re right where you’re supposed to be.
\n❤️
\n“For every house is built by someone, but God is the builder of everything.” Hebrews 3:4 NIV\n", "date_published": "2019-06-15T01:30:16-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/06/15/facebook-memories.html", "tags": ["Colorado","Family","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Growth","Gratitude","Wisdom","Courage","Downsizing","Choices","Change","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/06/13/happy-birthday.html", "title": "Happy Birthday!", "content_html": "
![\"Night](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/bc2e7772e8.jpg\")
“Happy Birthday, to ME!”
June is my birthday month.
\nI love June. I love my birthday. So I just combine them and celebrate the whole month!
\nAfter sleeping twelve hours straight on Tuesday night, Mr. FixIt and I went down to the beach and walked then played in the pool for a while. After lunch, I took a three hour nap. Seeing a trend there? It’s all about ME ‘cause it’s my birthday month!
\nJust as I woke up, Mr. FixIt walked in to make sure I didn’t sleep too long and not be able to sleep later. Then he asked me that question every woman longs to hear.
\n“How would you like to go eat ice cream for dinner?”
\nBack off girls…I saw him first!
\nYes, ladies…I have married the perfect man. Not only does he celebrate my birthday with me for a month…but he also takes me out for an ice cream dinner. Sexiest man alive.
\nAfter a dinner of butter pecan in a chocolate dipped waffle cone, we drove around. We shopped at a couple of Mr. FixIt’s stores. We found Aldi’s and picked up a few groceries. Wonderful strawberries for a dollar.
\nA simple day…Birthday Eve.
\nToday is my actual birthday.
\nSixty-six. Wow. Why does it sound so much older than sixty-five?
\nSome of the grandchildren were over Monday evening before we left. I told them how old I was going to be.
\n“Sixty-six! Can you believe that? It has been half a century since I was sixteen! Half a century!!! You know that’s fifty years, right???”
\nMy wise grandson-in-law said, “Did it go fast?”
\nHow do you answer that? Yes…it flew by in a nanosecond! No, it lasted forever! It’s both.
\nIt’s the coolest thing…to be sixteen plus fifty. I was sixteen in 1969…the summer of love. “God Bless Pink Summers ‘69!” That’s how my best friend signed her letters when she was off at a summer internship. Woodstock. Rock and Roll. Hippies. Bell bottoms. Long hair.
\nI thought I was free.
\nI was so wrong.
\nIt took living those fifty years to actually BECOME free. Funny how that works. I’d hate to have gone through all that and not learned the beautiful, hard, gritty, wonderful lessons involved.
\nSixty-six. Nope, that doesn’t bother me a bit.
\nI’m a crone now. I love that!
\nHappy Birthday to ME!
\n❤️
\n““ ‘ “The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace.” ’” Numbers 6:24-26 NIV\n", "date_published": "2019-06-13T01:30:17-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/06/13/happy-birthday.html", "tags": ["Faith","Travel","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Fun","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Aging","Choices","Change","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/06/10/van-life.html", "title": "Van Life", "content_html": "
![\"Conversion](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/689320564b.jpg\")
“One of our Girl Campers brought her conversion van to camp in. We were sold!”
My dear friend Gail has a conversion van that is tricked out like a camper. It’s currently in the camper hospital so she camped in a tent this time. But one of the other gals brought her conversion van and was kind enough to give me a peek inside.
\nI can see now why van girls love these so much! There is a lot you can pack into a small space. Christy has hers in soft pastels and cream, making the space seem much larger. She uses her Yeti cooler as extra seating. She has a whole kitchen crammed in this little cabinet.
\nThis really got my creative juices flowing and I was thinking of all the things I can do to the minivan when I get ready to convert it. The only downside I could see is no air conditioner. She does have a 12v fan she can use, but I’m thinking I would be limited to spring and fall excursions.
\nChristy spend five weeks at Quartzite, Arizona in the winter and never felt claustrophobic in this setup. She is thinking she would like to take it on the road full-time. I belong to a few Facebook groups that focus on the van life. It’s intriguing…but a little too confining for two.
\nAnyway, someone asked to see the van…so here she is! Enjoy!
\n❤️
\n“It’s better to live in a hut in the wilderness than with a crabby, scolding spouse!” Proverbs 21:19 TPT\n", "date_published": "2019-06-10T01:30:34-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/06/10/van-life.html", "tags": ["Travel","Uplifting Stories","Strong Women","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","Fun","West Virginia","Growth","New Ideas","Gratitude","Comfort","goRVing","Peace","Wisdom","Presence","Girl Camper","Girl Campers","Choices","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/06/06/one-hour-thirtyfive-dollars-a.html", "title": "One Hour \u0026 Thirty-Five Dollars = A Haircut", "content_html": "
![\"Woman](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/ba77f941e9.jpg\")
“Before and After…what a difference a haircut makes!”
I haven’t really felt like my perky self for a while. Nothing I could really put my finger on. Maybe a little tired. Maybe a little down about aging. I’ve been losing weight but avoiding the mirror. It didn’t really dawn on me till I saw pictures from the baptism a couple of weeks ago and I was up on the stage with my bonus granddaughter. Gasp! I looked SO old! I looked like my grandma. Not that that is a bad thing, but I’m talking in her 80’s. I was in desperate need of a haircut!
\nI always celebrate birthday month…not just a week or a weekend or a day. Nope…I was born in June…I celebrate JUNE! This month I turn 66. It’s only a number. I have more energy than I did at half my age. I remember when I turned 26. I was SO depressed! It had been a WHOLE DECADE since I got my driver’s license. Give me a break! Now it’s been half a century since I got my driver’s license. insert eye roll here
\nNo, it wasn’t my actual calendar age that was getting to me. It was my hair. I got lazy. I got tired of going in every six weeks and getting it cut. I got tired of sometimes having the perfect cut and other times wondering what went wrong. I got tired of spending the money on something that you just have to do over and over and over.
\nIt’s not my fault really. I saw beautiful older women on Pinterest…long flowing locks of silver hair caressing unnaturally perky breasts. Stylishly dressed. Leaning against brick buildings in downtown New York City….their jacket carelessly draped across their shoulders…their chunky boho jewelry and oversized sunglasses deflecting my gaze from anything that could barely be called crepe-y skin. No…Pinterest assured me I would look uber chic with long, silver hair.
\nThen, I took a look at myself and wondered what on earth possessed me to do such a thing. Me…in my JCPenney sleeveless summer dress made from t-shirt material. Me…of the ample upper arms and comfortable tummy. Me…of the “I know I have makeup SOMEWHERE in this house!” Me…of the Chacos and farmer tan and clip-on sunglasses and floppy brimmed had and a riding mower. Yeah…it was time for a reality check.
\nI called Michelle on Tuesday and cried uncle. I said, “You win! I’m coming in to cut it off!” I’m almost sure I heard an audible sigh of relief from the other end of the phone. “How’s tomorrow at 11:00?” She didn’t want to wait too long for fear I might change my mind.
\nAn hour. Thirty-five dollars. That’s all it took to bring back my sparkle. It’s really true…if you LOOK good, you FEEL good. I walked out of there feeling like a million bucks! It’s such a simple thing…getting a haircut. Oh, and a pedi. A MUCH needed pedi. I hadn’t had a “Me Day” for such a long time. It was way overdue and I feel so much better.
\nI sent the before and after photos to Mr. FixIt with a note…”Here’s the girl you fell in love with!” And you wanna know what he said?
\n“You’re beautiful…but, I didn’t fall in love with your hair.”
\nMy cheeks hurt from smiling.
\n❤️
\n“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” 1 Peter 4:8 NIV\n \n", "date_published": "2019-06-06T01:30:12-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/06/06/one-hour-thirtyfive-dollars-a.html", "tags": ["Health","Family","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Aging","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!","Widow","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/06/05/finding-my-father.html", "title": "Finding my Father", "content_html": "
![\"Father](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/6c6d0a0742.jpg\")
“I don’t remember having a loving relationship with my dad…ever.”
Father’s Day is coming soon. I don’t remember ever seeing a photo of my dad holding me. I don’t remember him offering his hand to help me walk. I don’t recall any kissed booboos or falling asleep in his lap. I do remember him bouncing my brother and me on his knees to the tune of Bonanza when it aired on Sunday nights. I remember watching fireworks from the car three blocks away from the park. I remember going fishing with him…once. I wouldn’t touch the worm. He was done.
\nMy relationship with my dad was complicated. Like every little girl, I sought his approval. It never came. I sought his love. He didn’t know how to give it. He never saw me sing on stage. He never watched me perform on the balance beam. As my brother and I aged, Dad became more and more lost in a bottle of Four Roses.
\nBy the time I was an antagonistic teenager, our relationship had devolved into angry shouting matches and stony silence. He became “the man who lived upstairs”. I married and left home with the first boy who would have me and I didn’t look back. By the time I was twenty-one, to my mother’s great relief, they were divorced.
\nDad went back to his roots and moved into a trailer on his sister’s farm. As a widow, she was extremely careful of her reputation and when dad had to be driven home from the bar one night, she stormed into his trailer the next morning and struck him on the bottom of the feet with an iron skillet. She informed him there would never be another incident like that or he would find himself out on his ear. He ended up going on the wagon and found Jesus and married a childhood friend.
\nI never really knew that man…the one all my cousins knew. The one all the town knew. The one who went to church every Sunday and became the model citizen…to everyone outside. But inside? Our relationship stayed exactly the same. His modus operandi was “blame and shame”. I tried. Lord knows I tried to have a relationship with him. But, in order to do that, I needed to talk about what had happened and he wasn’t interested.
\nIf he would have just once said “I’m sorry, Sis.” Oh, I learned to forgive him because he did what he knew, but that apology would have gone a long way toward mending my broken heart. Instead, I married father replacements. First, the stern disciplinarian. Then the busy doctor who couldn’t express his true feelings. Then Mr. Virgo came along and healed that spot in my heart that needed to know I was loved and cherished and….wanted.
\nStill, I remember my therapist telling me one time, “You know, Ginny…you’re never going to find your father’s love.” I was bereft. It was as if the final page was read and the book snapped shut. The End!
\nWhat do I do now?
\nI went on. I put a bandaid over the spot where I wanted dad-memories in my heart and went on. After all, I was an adult. I was functioning as best I could with what I had to work with. It was ok, I said to myself. I don’t need a father. I don’t need anybody. Mr. Virgo was the only man I really let in and even he didn’t get to see every room.
\nThen…my dad died.
\nThen…Mr. Virgo died.
\nI was never, ever going to feel that unconditional love again.
\nI was wrong. I found love again…deep, true, lasting love with Mr. FixIt. And, I was a Christian. I had God. He was my Heavenly Father…but, I still wanted a DAD!
\nThis has been on my heart a lot in the last few weeks. And, just like clockwork, here came the Holy Spirit to minister to that sore place within me. Recently, every sermon has been some variation of this theme.
\n“Your dad wasn’t there for you. It’s ok. You don’t need him. He was here to do what only he could do and it hurt. But here….I’ve got some really great news for you.
\n“God IS your dad! He loves you…absolutely…unconditionally. He CRAVES when you come sit with him and lay your head on his shoulder. He WANTS you to take his hand and walk with him. He LOVES it when you talk to him and tell him how your day went and share worries of your mind. He DESIRES you to trust him like the dad that he is. He NEEDS you to know he isn’t ever going to leave you….not ever!”
\nWow! How awesome is that? Knowing this…I mean really deep down in my bones KNOWING this…has healed some place deep inside my heart. I don’t have to look for my dad anywhere but up. When I want to hear him talking to me, I read the words he left for me to follow. When I don’t please him, he lets me know. The most important thing he wants me to know is I am the joy of his heart. The object of his greatest longing.
\nFinally….finally I found my father….in my Father.
\n❤️
\n“The same way a loving father feels toward his children— that’s but a sample of your tender feelings toward us, your beloved children, who live in awe of you.” Psalms 103:13 TPT\n", "date_published": "2019-06-05T01:30:35-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/06/05/finding-my-father.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Courage","Aging","Choices","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/06/01/from-beast-to-beauty.html", "title": "From Beast to Beauty", "content_html": "
![\"Luna](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/81bfe2d0d2.jpg\")
“The glorious Luna Moth!”
It takes about ten days for the egg of the luna moth to hatch into a tiny caterpillar and another five to six weeks for that caterpillar to go through multiple instars (stages of growth) to reach its full size…2.5” long by 3/4” diameter. That’s a big green worm! Once it reaches its full size, it spins a cocoon and usually about two weeks later, the moth emerges, wings shriveled and damp. Over the course of several hours, fluid is pumped into the wings, they dry, and voila…one of the largest silk moths of North America emerges to grace us with its presence.
\nNormally, the luna moth has a wingspan of about 4.5” but they can be as large as 7” across. This fellow is a male. His wings angle backwards somewhat and his abdomen is smaller because he isn’t carrying the 200-400 eggs the female has. They fly in the evening and at night in late spring and early summer. They don’t particularly like when the temperature dips into the 50’s. They’ll be somewhat paralyzed until it warms up.
\nI love when I catch sight of one of these beautiful moths. You don’t see them quite as often as you used to because a type of predatory fly was introduced to control the invasive gypsy moths and they’ve damaged several species of moths, including the glorious luna.
\nMr. FixIt called me into the kitchen last night so I could see this fellow. I ran outside with my phone so I could take pictures while the light was still good. As I was coming back inside, I found the remains of a luna who wasn’t so lucky…wings scattered here and there, coated with drops of dew. Nature. It’s a rough world out there.
\n![\"Luna](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/4acaa9e388.jpg\")
“The remnants of an unfortunate demise.”
When I came out to the camper to write afterwards, I watched a video on Facebook. The premise was two former classmates run into each other in the parking lot of the grocery store. They chat and it becomes apparent one is wealthy and the other is not. The one who was not tells the other about her son getting a job after graduation and that he is thriving and so happy. The other kind of turns her nose up a bit and brags about HER son who is going to Stanford. And, as a matter of fact, he was on his way to pick her up….wasn’t that sweet? The poorer mother smiled and nodded and congratulated the other mom on her son’s great achievements. But you could see when wealthy mom left, the working boy’s mom looked a little let down.
\nI am ashamed to say, I can relate to that…however fleetingly. This is the time of year when news of graduations fill the pages of social media with our darlings’ academic accomplishments. It’s beautiful and I don’t begrudge them their joy. Not one bit. We were thrilled when Daughter #1 got her Associates Degree, majoring in drama. We told her that, and $3.50 would buy her a cup of coffee and she should go on and at least get her Bachelors Degree. But no…she and her fiancé had other plans and married a month or two after graduation.
\nAt some point along the way, she realized perhaps her parents had been right and she had an excellent opportunity to go back to school at which time she became a Special Ed teacher. Again, we were so proud. Then, somewhere down the road, she went back and got her Masters. She’s still married to her college sweetheart and coming up on their 24th anniversary.
\nDaughter #2 is brilliant…maybe more so than her sister as far as IQ goes. But she has always danced to her own music, struggled over eight years getting her Bachelors but never gave up, and now works in management in the food service industry…the love for which she received from her beloved stepfather…Mr. Virgo.
\nIn the movie I watched earlier, the Stanford son berated his mother for keeping him from his friends and let her know she was distinctly cramping his style while the poor son brings his mama flowers and tells her how much he loves and appreciates her for everything she does for him. A dramatization, for sure. But there is much truth there, unfortunately.
\nA while back, a friend from long ago posted photos of her daughter getting her doctorate. They flew to Australia to visit her where she was doing research. Her two younger daughters were married, one after the other. Beautiful. Successful. This girl and Daughter #2 had play dates together when they were babies. I had a moment of full on green envy.
\nFor only a moment. Because, in that moment, Daughter #2 called me on the phone. I sat back and listened to her go on and on about the upcoming wedding and how her dress is just so perfect and makes her look like a million bucks. We chatted about how the bouquets are being made with origami flowers from comic book pages. And she found a real Viking drinking horn at a pawn shop and that’s what they’re going to toast with! Wow! And under her dress? Tie dyed Vans…of course!
\nAs I listened to her happy voice, my mind drifted back over the many phone calls when she struggled and suffered through depression and anxiety. Really struggled. And I realized…rich, poor, Stanford, Community College, PhD, shift lead in a restaurant…none of that matters. She’s happy. There is light and life in her voice. My eyes filled with tears…from shame that I was even momentarily envious…and from sincere joy and relief that my baby didn’t end up a statistic like so many others have.
\nI still have her here…in all her quirky, wonderful weirdness. As we prepared to hang up, she gave me that sweetest gift every mama craves.
\n“I love you, mama…all over your face!”
\n“I love you too, Moon Pie.”
\nShe made it…just like the caterpillar to the glorious Luna.
\n❤️
\n“Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4 NIV\n", "date_published": "2019-06-01T01:30:03-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/06/01/from-beast-to-beauty.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/05/31/keep-moving-forwardalways.html", "title": "Keep Moving Forward...Always", "content_html": "
![\"Wedding](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/c2e94a63b9.jpg\")
“I’ve finished the wedding quilt!”
I have over 28,000 emails on my iPhone. This makes my daughter crazy. She says, “What if you missed something???” I say, “Yeah, there’s always a chance of that. But, what if I stayed on my phone for 8 hours a day reading, answering, or deleting every e-mail that came through? I wouldn’t get anything else done.”
\nI have been known to miss an occasional message, but for the most part, when I scan through, I see the important stuff. A couple of weeks ago, I saw something intriguing come through. Someone was searching for quotes about if or how and why blogging through grief has helped me cope. I wrote back and didn’t think much more about it.
\nIt was a rainy, cool day yesterday. I cuddled up in my little camper and stitched the binding on my daughter’s wedding quilt and listened to the rain hit the roof. Occasionally, I caught a glimpse of something brown running by and under my camper. It was two large rabbits. They chased each other all afternoon and made me smile. They made me think of Watership Down. One stopped beneath my window in plain sight. I whispered, “Be careful of the hrududus, bunny!”
\nSometimes I feel like I run out of things to say here. I think maybe you’ve heard every story I ever knew. Sometimes I think I begin to sound like your slightly dotty Aunt Felicity who tells you everything she ate today. I know that’s an exaggeration, but still…I wonder if I’m wearing out my welcome. When I stitch or knit or mow or drive, I have conversations with God and I ask him to tell me when I’m done. And, every…single…time, He sends me someone to tell me, “No, dear one. Not yet. Someone tomorrow needs your stories.”
\nAs I stitched on my daughter’s wedding quilt, I watched old black & white reruns of the Andy Griffith Show. Up popped a message from a reader I haven’t heard from in four and a half years. In those years she had lost a husband. Had gained a love. And nearly lost him to a silent heart attack. My posts that they’ve been reading together helped them to see how life can change in an instant. They are working together to create a new life, new adventures, in a new direction. They asked me to please keep doing what I’m doing. It made me cry. God knows our hearts. He hears our pleas. And he sends us answers if we’ll just slow down and listen and pay attention.
\nAfter reading that, another message popped up. It was from the woman who wrote to me two weeks ago seeking that quote and the article was published yesterday. I read down through the stories of all the people she had quoted and realized two of them I am connected with on Twitter. I’ll connect with the others now.
\nGrief is a solitary business yet it thrusts us into a community of others going through similar experiences. The biggest point I made in my story for the article was this…you are not alone. No matter how hard grief is. No matter how isolating it is. No matter how crazy and lonely and forgetful it makes you…you are never truly alone. For me…I have Jesus and my family and you guys.
\nI’m not about to quit on that.
\nYou can read the collection of stories here: https://www.aklander.co.uk/news/why-blogging-can-help-with-grief
\n❤️
\n“For that reason, I don’t run just for exercise or box like one throwing aimless punches, but I train like a champion athlete. I subdue my body and get it under my control, so that after preaching the good news to others I myself won’t be disqualified.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-05-31T01:30:48-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/05/31/keep-moving-forwardalways.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Hope","Growth","Gratitude","God","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Change","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/05/30/severe-weather.html", "title": "Severe Weather", "content_html": "1 Corinthians 9:26-27 TPT
![\"Weather\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/07a33cc257.jpg\")
“Severe weather, volunteer pumpkins, a more mowing…another day on the Ponderosa.”
As with most of you, I browsed the news yesterday morning and saw the destruction from the many severe storms throughout the Midwest. I know people there…I was praying for them all. I knew we were supposed to get some rain yesterday, but I didn’t know how severe the storm was going to be.
\nI went to Schoolhouse Quilts around lunchtime to pick up my daughter’s wedding quilt. I need to sew the binding and then it will be finished. I was finishing my coffee while I visited with Carolyn, the owner. My phone rang. It was Mr. FixIt telling me to look at the radar…we were about to get hit hard.
\nI wrapped it up quickly, paid for the quilting, and ran to the truck just as the rain started. We live in a really small town. A grocery store, a Dollar General, the quilt shop, a pizza place, a gas station, the thrift store, and a couple of churches. That’s about it. It didn’t take long to drive to “the other side of town”.
\nI was about to the Piggly Wiggly when the lightning started striking all around me. I could see it hitting the hillside in front of me. I saw the flashes out of my peripheral vision…on both sides. I quickly turned into the parking lot, but it was raining too hard and the lightening was coming hard and fast. I couldn’t even pull up close to the store. I think some other people had the same idea.
\nI pulled my phone out and opened the Weather Channel app. It has a very reliable radar. When I saw it, I understood what a “Severe Thunderstorm Warning” looked like while it was happening. The notice at the top of the screen said “Lightning detected 0 miles north of you.” Yeah…no kidding!
\nI sent the screen shot to Mr. FixIt and told him where I was and I was going to sit this one out. Then I thought of the leaky basement and really wanted to get home. I closed my eyes and prayed hard. I told Jesus I knew he had calmed the seas when the storm was raging and I trust that He gives us that same power. I told the storm, in Jesus’ name, to break away and part the sky so I could get home safely.
\nLess that one minute later…the clouds parted. And even though the radar still showed lightning activity…there was nothing near me. I was home in less than two minutes. These are the things that amaze me. Not because I doubt they can be done. They can. I see it all the time. But it amazes me that I would never have done something like that just a few years ago. I was the scientist. The skeptic. The unbeliever.
\nCoincidence? Maybe. But I’m telling you what I saw immediately after I prayed for it. It doesn’t make me special or important or better than anyone else. It just makes me believe more. The storms eventually moved out by afternoon. Mr. FixIt came home and I mowed the big field while he ran the weed eater and the push mower. We are due for more storms today so I am planning on sitting and working on my daughter’s quilt.
\nAs I was out mowing around the burn pile, I noticed a large amount of green growth. I looked closer and there was a volunteer pumpkin vine growing from the ashes. I smiled. We burned that brush pile the week before our wedding. When the wedding was over, we used the pumpkins for Halloween decorations. Then, after the first freeze and they got soggy, Mr. FixIt threw them on the brush pile. That’s what I love about WV. You can throw a seed out there and it can grow all on its own.
\nSame with love.
\n❤️
\n““Teacher,” said John, “we saw someone driving out demons in your name and we told him to stop, because he was not one of us.” “Do not stop him,” Jesus said. “For no one who does a miracle in my name can in the next moment say anything bad about me, for whoever is not against us is for us.” Mark 9:38-40 NIV\n", "date_published": "2019-05-30T01:30:57-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/05/30/severe-weather.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","West Virginia","Gratitude","God","Wisdom","Courage","Humbled","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/05/29/gracious-conversations.html", "title": "Gracious Conversations", "content_html": "
![\"Meme\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/bc8c2490ac.jpg\")
“Let your conversations be gracious and attractive.”
I have been trying to be more conscious of my conversations of late. I try to steer clear of gossip…listening or repeating. I try to discern the difference between sharing concern or inquiring of someone’s wellbeing and telling tales out of school. I have to be honest…I haven’t always done the best at that.
\nI’m a storyteller, but I don’t want to be known as a gossip. So when I have conversations with others, I seek to be gracious. I do have my closest confidants with whom I can be brutally honest, but still be gracious.
\nIt is especially difficult to be gracious in today’s sociopolitical climate. People can be truly offensive without necessarily intending to be. And, the same goes for us. We can easily offend others without being aware of it.
\nSocial media is an excellent place to practice gracious conversation, but it isn’t always easy. I am a co-administrator for our class page on Facebook. I asked that someone be made co-administrator simply because we are aging. So many of our friends were dying, I thought if we lost our administrator, we’d lose control of the page and it’s really wonderful to catch up with our friends there.
\nI received a message from one of my classmates yesterday informing me someone had placed one of those political articles of questionable origin on our class page. She was gracious and expressed her dismay that something so obviously intended to be divisive had been posted there and would I please remove it.
\nI went to the page and didn’t do anything more than read the headlines and immediately removed the post. Then, I created a post of my own and said I had removed a political post. I reminded our classmates that there are plenty of pages that support those kinds of posts and it didn’t matter to me whose side it was on…it was not appropriate for our class page.
\nI reminded them we are only “Big Reds” when we are on that page. It’s intended to keep our classmates informed of upcoming events. All too often these days it is where we inform the class that someone has died. It’s a wonderful place to reconnect with old friends we haven’t seen or heard from…sometimes since graduation.
\nWe can stop the political diatribe from amping up by being gracious in our conversations. And, when that doesn’t work, we can disconnect and/or turn a deaf ear to the offender. Just because someone is baiting us, doesn’t mean we need to bite. I wish it were so simple always. I know it’s not. But it felt good to say, “Look, we’ll have none of that here.”
\nI was camping with a group of women a couple of years ago. Someone went on a rant about politics AND religion…in the SAME conversation. They were making disparaging comments about Jesus. Our hostess stopped her cold by saying, “I love the Lord, and I will not sit here and listen to any such talk. Let’s change the subject, please.” Simple, honest, gracious, and to the point. The subject changed and that was the end of it. I was very proud. And emboldened to have my own gracious conversations.
\nPracticing grace and kindness elevates our spirits. It lifts us above the ugliness that can creep in. Go out and practice gracious conversations this week. See what a difference it makes in your stress level.
\n❤️
\n“let the wise listen and add to their learning, and let the discerning get guidance—” Proverbs 1:5 NIV\n \n", "date_published": "2019-05-29T01:30:27-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/05/29/gracious-conversations.html", "tags": ["Health","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","Growth","Grace","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/05/28/praying-for-others.html", "title": "Praying for Others", "content_html": "
![\"Praying](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/7cc49d4eeb.jpg\")
“Praying for others is the key to freedom.”
As time passes, my daughter’s wedding is looming in the forefront of my mind. What to wear? Well, I’ve bought three dresses…so far. It depends what suits me that day, I think. The event seems to be fast and loose so I’m not terribly worried about that part.
\nAs I headed into this, the idea of being the mother of the bride…for the last time really…filled me with delicious anticipation mixed with bits of trepidation. Her father and I have mended a lot of fences over the years and I am so proud of the way we can demonstrate good behaviors for our kids and grandkids. Long gone are the angry jabs at each other over a love gone awry.
\nI overcame the majority of the pain, anger, and resentment through fervent prayer and good therapy. Prayer was my tool. I prayed my family would be healed. I prayed the father of my child would find joy and happiness with the woman he chose. The more I prayed for HIM, the happier I became.
\nThat being said, the enemy loves to sneak in and tell me lies. He loves to remind me I’ve gained a few pounds and my ex-husband will notice. He loves to make me second guess myself and be self conscious of my body and my dress choice. He loves to whisper in my ear and tell me if I would have been a better wife, that great big estate my ex owns could have been mine.
\nLies. They are all lies. I could have been the best wife in the history of the universe and the marriage could have still fallen apart. I’m not taking 100% of that one. I’ll comfortably accept my 50%. If I even consider my weight as being something my ex would judge me for, I’m setting myself up for failure and disappointment.
\nHere’s the thing…if we look for something, we WILL find it. If I look for judgement, I’ll feel judged. If I look for criticism, I’ll feel criticized…even if it’s subconsciously. And, as soon as I feel those things, I’ll react defensively. That whole scenario is a totally no win situation. Nothing good can come from that.
\nRecently I read about a technique for recognizing the cycle of anxiety and stopping it in its tracks. The premise is, as soon as you feel the very first sensations of anxiety…even if it’s just the thought of feeling anxious…you pull back and become the observer. Recognize what is happening and say to yourself…”Hmmmm, that’s interesting. I’m having a feeling that stemmed from a thought. It is just a thought.” Then, you picture surrounding that thought in a bubble, reach out, and poke it with your finger.
\nPoof!
\nWhen you can recognize what anxiety really is, it’s much easier to step back, give it a poke, and send it on it’s way. It has been working quite well in the last few months. One would think, at the ripe age of 66 (in about three weeks), I’d have gotten a handle on anxiety long before now. Sometimes it’s the fear of having an anxiety attack that brings it on. It’s crazy…but it’s quite real.
\nThis wedding isn’t about me. His house isn’t about me. My weight isn’t even completely about me in that it was caused by taking steroids twice this year. I’m the only me I have. I am the only mom my kids have. The only Nana for my grands. I am my husband’s queen. He will think I am scrumptious no matter what I’m wearing or where I sit.
\nThis is such a relief…to let go of fear. The fear of rejection. The fear of not being good enough. The fear of doing or saying something wrong.
\nI am enough. I have always been enough.
\nDang…I love my sixties!
\n❤️
\n“But the moment one turns to the Lord with an open heart, the veil is lifted and they see. Now, the “Lord” I’m referring to is the Holy Spirit, and wherever he is Lord, there is freedom.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-05-28T01:30:31-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/05/28/praying-for-others.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Aging","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!","Marriage","Wedding"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/05/26/smoke.html", "title": "Smoke", "content_html": "2 Corinthians 3:16-17 TPT
![\"Smoke\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/c7951b9595.jpg\")
“Life has a certain synchronicity. It swirls round and round like wisps of smoke.”
Mail delivery is different when you live on a rural route. When you drive out any two lane blacktop, there are dirt roads that go off up into hollers. There may be a dozen or more houses up there, but it wouldn’t be feasible to send a mail carrier up every little dirt track. So, you often see a whole row of mailboxes on the corner and everyone has to pick up their own mail. Our mailbox is across the two lane from the Ponderosa so we either walk up or stop on our way out when we go somewhere.
\nWhen I first moved in with Mr. FixIt, I seldom got any mail here. I have a post office box that I use for my business so it was just easier for me to get all my mail there. Because the majority of the mail was his, I never really saw it unless I picked it up. Mr. FixIt was throwing away junk mail one day and casually remarked, for some reason he had received coupons for cigarettes. He couldn’t figure out how in the world he ever got on their mailing list.
\nWe went into town yesterday to decorate graves on Mr. FixIt’s side of the family. We stopped to get the mail and there was another cigarette advertisement. He handed me the mail and said, “See? We got it again!” I sat there, holding the mail in my hands. For a moment, my heart skipped a beat and I could barely breathe.
\n“Is this the brand you got before?” I asked.
\n“Yes. It’s always the same.”
\nI ran my fingers over the familiar green box and smiled. Kools.
\n“You know…this is Mr. Virgo’s brand.”
\n“Whoa. That’s weird.”
\n“No…not weird. It’s just a message. A sort of hello from beyond.”
\nI don’t know how things work on the other side exactly. I know there is heaven. And I know the Bible says there is a veil between the worlds and those in heaven cannot see or connect with their loved ones on earth. I also know God loves us and wants to comfort our hearts when we lose loved ones so He sends us things that strike a chord with us. In my case…bluebirds. A particular song that’s out of place. Flickering lights. And, an ad. Of all the cigarette brands that are out there, the one that came was Mr. Virgo’s. It’s not even what I would consider a top brand. Why that one? On Memorial Day weekend?
\nI reached over and took my husband’s hand. I smiled and looked out the window at the passing scenery. I marveled at this lovely life and all its synchronicity…curling round and round like wisps of smoke.
\n“Hello, Mr. Virgo” I said softly. “Thanks for coming to see us.”
\n❤️
\n“Now they know that everything that you have given me is from you.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-05-26T01:30:10-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/05/26/smoke.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Hope","Positive Energy","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Change","Widow","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/05/23/wascally-wabbits.html", "title": "Wascally Wabbits!", "content_html": "John 17:7 ESV
![\"Man](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/faa61bb172.jpg\")
“Mr. FixIt…working in the garden.”
Mr. FixIt came to me the other morning with a dejected sigh.
\n“Something ate the beans.”
\nAgain? Hmpffff! Don’t they know that little piece of ground is OURS??? They have five acres. I just want this little patch. Yeah…not likely. We used the rabbit deterrent faithfully…until, we didn’t. All it took was one little rain and one lapse of memory and…poof! No more beans. I think it is the rabbits. But it could be that little chipmunk. Or deer. Or…whatever. The point is…unless you put some sort of protective fencing or netting or both around your garden, you cannot expect to provide a salad bar without getting dinner guests.
\nThat’s ok. We still have the tomatoes. Plenty of tomatoes!!! We had twelve tomato plants and one mysteriously disappeared. No footprints. No trace…just gone. So, we are left with eleven tomato plants and a couple dozen onions. We’re good.
\nI went to the farm yesterday to get the shades from the big camper. For those of you who have been around for the long haul, you will remember the first thing I did when I bought that camper was take those hideous window coverings off. If I’m going to sell the camper, I need to put them back. While I was there, I did the last load of laundry and gathered some camping items I will need in a couple of weeks when we go to Blackwater Falls with the Girl Campers. That’s one thing I like about Girl Campers…you can bring your hubby if you like. We just ask that they do something on their own while we’re there so we can have our girl time. Mr. FixIt is taking his golf clubs.
\nI’m taking the ice cream freezer. There is something so special about homemade ice cream when you’re camping. I also brought the screen house. The mosquitoes will be making an appearance before long and some people are more susceptible to bites than others. I want to make sure everyone is comfortable and has a place to sit out of the rain if need be.
\nWhen I got home, Mr. FixIt had a table saw on the back of the truck that needed to be unloaded. It was way too heavy to pick up but we used our brains over our brawn and tipped it onto a dolly and down the ramps into the garage. Perfect! Just as we were done, the former Mrs. FixIt came over to pick up a tent to go camping. I really like her and we sat for four hours visiting. Then my bonus granddaughter and the baby came over with ice cream. It was such a beautiful day!
\nI love that we can demonstrate for the younger generations that the family relationship doesn’t have to end with divorce. We just open our hearts more and let in love and healing.
\n❤️
\n“How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity!” Psalm 133:1 NIV\n", "date_published": "2019-05-23T01:30:35-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/05/23/wascally-wabbits.html", "tags": ["Health","Family","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Fun","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Humbled","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!","Widow","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/05/09/camping-with-the-girls.html", "title": "Camping With the Girls", "content_html": "
![\"Sunset](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/d26ffa2937.jpg\")
“The sun sets on another fun day camping with the Girl Campers.”
There is something special about camping with a bunch of gals. In ancient times, women gathered at the well when they went to fetch water. Farm women gathered at the Grange or at barn raisings, or when babies were born. Quilting Bees and Afternoon Teas. Women have always wanted/needed the company of other women.
\nWhen I was much younger, I got along with men better than women. I found women to be gossipy or competitive…neither of which were appealing. However, since Mr. Virgo died, I have learned to appreciate my fellow females. Especially when we are sitting around a campfire or under a pavilion on a rainy afternoon.
\nMy favorite campouts always include an afternoon siesta. Lots of talk time and knitting. Catching up with people to find out what’s been going on in their lives. When you come to a camping event that occurs once to twice a year, that may be the only time to get to see these women and they become good friends. Lifelong friends.
\nI came back over to the camper after supper last night and caught the sun just before it dipped below the horizon. I thought it was lovely how the light changed to a golden green glow. These are the moments that make me remember why I bought my first camper. I want to do this as long as I am able.
\nOh, yes…I love camping with Mr. FixIt. But, there’s just something special about camping with a bunch of gals.
\n❤️
\n“O God, to the farthest corners of the planet people will stand in awe, startled and stunned by your signs and wonders. Sunrise brilliance and sunset beauty both take turns singing their songs of joy to you.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-05-09T01:30:29-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/05/09/camping-with-the-girls.html", "tags": ["Travel","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","Fun","Gratitude","Comfort","goRVing","Wisdom","Peaceful Moments","Girl Camper","Girl Campers","Choices","Be Joyful!","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/05/05/rainy-days.html", "title": "Rainy Days", "content_html": "Psalms 65:8 TPT
![\"Rhododendron](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/53c0619aff.jpg\")
“Grandma’s rhododendron is starting to bloom out at the farm. I think it might have gotten a little nipped by the polar vortex this winter, but it sure loves these rainy days!”
It has been rainy in West Virginia the last couple of days. We’ve even had some thunderstorms, which I dearly love. I remember really missing them when I lived in Colorado. The thunder doesn’t roll there like it does here. The rain held off till Mr. FixIt and I were finished changing the oil in both trucks. I sat on the mechanic’s stool, looking up at the sky when it started to sprinkle and asked God to please hold off for an hour or so. He was so gracious to do so. Thank you.
\nI was very disappointed. We had everything set up. I got the truck up on the ramps with Mr. FixIt’s guidance, and I got down under the engine and set to work. Try as I might, I simply could NOT loosen the plug in the oil pan. I couldn’t get in a good position to get leverage. The battery pack for the headlamp sat on the back of my head wrong and kept getting in my way. And for some reason, I didn’t like the feeling of that truck over my chest on the plastic ramps Mr. FixIt has. His metal ones were stolen and I just didn’t trust plastic to hold that truck up off me. It gave me the heeby-jeebies.
\nMr. FixIt took my place and, with some difficulty, finally got the plug out. I got BACK under the truck and tried to loosen the oil filter and it wouldn’t budge. I hated to admit defeat, but i just don’t have the arm, wrist, and hand strength I used to have. I climbed back out and sat on the stool handing Mr. FixIt what he needed, when he needed it. When he was finished, I held the funnel while he poured the oil in.
\n“I’m sorry.” I said, dejectedly. “I just couldn’t do it.”
\nMr. FixIt looked at me with soft eyes and said, “That’s ok, baby. That’s what husbands are for.”
\nFor one second, the feminist reared up in my head…then I stopped. I looked at this kind, gentle, yet strong man and said…
\n“Service. That’s your love language, isn’t it?”
\nHe smiled and went back to the task at hand. I didn’t even offer to try helping him when we got his truck up on the ramps. We just chatted as he told me stories or pointed out the differences between the two trucks and their filters. I sat on the stool, smiling and sending up a big “Thank You” for my many, many blessings.
\n❤️?❤️
\n“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” James 1:17 NIV\n", "date_published": "2019-05-05T01:30:13-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/05/05/rainy-days.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","God","Wisdom","Humbled","Aging","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/05/04/unbeatable-laughterunbearable-tears.html", "title": "Unbeatable Laughter...Unbearable Tears", "content_html": "
![\"Cake](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/a81022cd1a.jpg\")
“Chocolate cake pops aren’t the most delectable looking things till they get their pretty candy coating.”
The last couple of days were an incredible jumble of extreme emotions. First, we had an intense discussion about the impact of addiction in this area and on our lives. It was deeply personal and what is said in the room, stays in the room. Suffice it to say, I could not wait to get out and call my daughters and thank them for never going down that particular path. As I left messages for them…(who’s kid ever answers the phone these days?)…I broke down in tears. Because…instead of my kids being addicted…it had been me when they were growing up. I hate that I exposed them to opioid and alcohol abuse and the aftermath it caused. But, what the enemy tried to kill, God has used to our good and His glory.
\nLater in the evening, Daughter #1 called me back. I adore both of my girls and they couldn’t be more different. My firstborn has always been the strong, dependable kid who turned into a wonderful woman and an excellent mother, but she’s not a terribly demonstrative person. She is a little crusty on the outside but soft in the center but she’d rather chew off her arm than show it. When I answered the phone, I could hear that slightly vulnerable tenderness in her voice that I so seldom get to hear and my heart melted.
\nShe went on to regale me with a story about her evening. It seems HER firstborn informed her earlier in the week that she needed cake pops for a going away party for one of her friends. She needed them yesterday. And…she wanted them shaped like pineapples for some reason. Now, Daughter #1 is highly creative, and an incredible teacher, but she was not particularly crafty or interested in baking when she was young. It’s amazing what we do for our kids, isn’t it?
\nShe looked up how to make cake pops on YouTube and Pinterest. She e-mailed her principal who makes cake pops for stress relief. She found out that…surprise, surprise…cake pops are not baked in molds with sticks in them and then dipped in frosting. Actually, you bake the cake, let it cool, crumble it up very fine, then mix in a little bit of frosting. Just enough to work it together into a ball but not enough to get it wet. I had no idea!
\nSince my granddaughter asked for chocolate, my daughter baked two layers of chocolate cake. Then she used a small ice cream scoop to make balls of the dough and rolled them into a slightly oblong egg shape to represent little pineapples. Then she stuck sticks in them that had been dipped in the melted candy coating so they would stick. At this point, it struck her what her little creations actually LOOKED like and she had to send me pictures. We laughed til we cried. It was so delightful. I was so proud of her…for everything. Being a good kid and a great mom. For having a sense of humor. For loving me so much, even though I make her crazy half the time and she can’t let me know either way.
\nThen, yesterday, one of my mom’s cousins texted to tell me another cousin in Illinois passed away on Sunday. That made me sad because I just loved Betty Mae. When she and her family came to West Virginia to visit my grandma, it was an EVENT, I’m telling you. I sent a potted plant with a note and then called my aunt and uncle to make sure they knew.
\nRemember I told you I made the difficult decision to not go to my niece’s graduation in Indiana? Well, I found out the graduation is outside today…in the rain…in Indiana…in tornado season. They’re giving them ponchos to wear. Oy! That’s not why God prompted me to cancel, though. Mr. FixIt was driving home yesterday and he got the strongest urge to call his best friend. When he did, his friend was crying because his wife had just passed away. His friend is going to need him here and I am so grateful I listened to the whispers of the Holy Spirit telling me not to go!
\nThe camper is almost ready for my big camping trip next week. I installed a new smoke detector yesterday, packed some things in the overhead cabinets over the dinette, added deodorizer to the tanks, and swept the floors. There were a couple of very small holes on the wall where I removed some curtain hardware so I filled them with a little caulking. I tried putting the quilts that I wanted to use on the bed but they are too small for the queen bed. That’s ok…I’ll use the all white quilt I used in big TOW-Wanda and just fold the extra quilts at the bottom of the bed for decoration. The only thing left to do is wash the floors and windows, lay down the rugs, take out the trash, and finish packing. It’s supposed to storm all day today, so I can get in there and play…and maybe we’ll camp in the driveway tonight!
\n❤️
\n“So I commend the enjoyment of life, because there is nothing better for a person under the sun than to eat and drink and be glad. Then joy will accompany them in their toil all the days of the life God has given them under the sun.” Ecclesiastes 8:15 NIV\n\n \n", "date_published": "2019-05-04T01:30:38-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/05/04/unbeatable-laughterunbearable-tears.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Fun","West Virginia","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/05/03/national-widows-day-may-rd.html", "title": "National Widow’s Day - May 3rd", "content_html": "“‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”” Revelation 21:4 NIV
![\"National](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/da39b5d450.jpg\")
“May 3rd is National Widow’s Day”
Today is National Widow’s Day. I’m not quite sure how I feel about that. On the one hand, there are so many widows who are alone and no one comes to call or check on them. On the other hand, we don’t really NEED a day to remember our loss. It’s not that we are likely to forget. Still…it’s good to remind others to reach out to a widow. We all know one, and those of us who are widowed know…it’s nice to be remembered.
\nSo many times people think of a widow in their lives, perhaps even reaching for the phone…only to stop. They’re afraid of upsetting her. And, the more time that has passed, the harder it is for people to reach out because they don’t want to remind us, in case we’re having a good day. They don’t understand…we never forget. Good days, bad days. We always remember and our lost loved one is never far away. I’m a widow and even I have had that thought cross my mind.
\nI send out my love to widows every day, so today I’ll send you a double dose. My heart is with you.
\n❤️
\n“Take care of widows who are truly widows.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-05-03T01:30:53-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/05/03/national-widows-day-may-rd.html", "tags": ["Wisdom","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/05/01/uncle.html", "title": "Uncle!", "content_html": "1 Timothy 5:3 NCV
![\"Bedding\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/f1413f75d8.jpg\")
“When you’re tired and overwhelmed, it’s ok to say Uncle!”
Every day since we got home from the beach has been packed full. Long hours of mowing thick, wet grass. Unpacking. Cleaning. Finally, we had to split the chores yesterday and Mr. FixIt went to the farm to mow while I worked on de-winterizing the camper. First, I filled the freshwater tank and added a little bleach to sanitize it. Then I went in and turned on the pump. It’s supposed to run a little bit, build up pressure, then shut itself off. It didn’t. As I stood in front of the kitchen sink, listening as a pitiful stream of water came from the faucet, I could hear water splashing outside.
\nI went out and around the camper and there was water coming out of the water heater compartment. I opened it up and saw the plug was an old type and it was rusted through. Not a good sign. I was told the camper had been fully inspected two years ago and everything worked fine. And, while I should have taken the camper to someone to have it inspected again, I trusted mine and Mr. FixIt’s camper knowledge. Besides, it was very difficult to really get in and have a look at the inner workings in the driveway where it was parked. I don’t think the previous owner was trying to scam me. I just don’t think she used the service systems because she only took it out three or four times to sleep over at horse shows.
\nI knew there was nothing I could do without getting a new plug. I towed the camper to an RV service center and the guy was kind enough to stop what he was doing and put a plug in. Then he proceeded to have a look around the camper and started telling me all the things that were wrong with it and made me feel generally inept and stupid. One thing he pointed out, which I hadn’t noticed was…the tires were seven years old. Even if the tread looks good and there’s no evidence of dry rot, you really shouldn’t run a trailer on tires over five years old.
\nMy next stop was a local tire shop owned by a woman. I’ve talked with her before and I’m so impressed that she built this business from scratch. I got four trailer tires for $65 each, mounted and balanced. Then I drove to a rest area with a dump station to empty and clean the waste tanks. A camper has two waste tanks on it…”grey water” from the sinks and shower and “black water” from the toilet. That wasn’t much of a chore as they had been emptied previously. They just needed a good flushing.
\nOnce I was finished with the tanks, I tried turning the pump on and it still wouldn’t build up pressure and shut off. That means the system isn’t sealed and there’s a leak somewhere. I didn’t see water anywhere and there was nothing dripping. By this point, I was tired, hungry, and pretty darned frustrated. I kept telling myself I’d bought a piece of junk camper and I was pretty low by the time I got home.
\nMr. FixIt called. I poured out all my fears and frustrations and he asked me to tell him one thing at a time. He said they were all fairly small things and relatively easy to fix. At the most, I may need a new hot water heater, a water pump, and new propane regulator. He said I didn’t buy a piece of junk, but it is twelve years old. There are bound to be some things that will need fixing.
\nI got home and walked in the door. There is still a toilet, a sink, and half a shower stall in my living room. I suddenly felt defeated and sat down to think it through. When I made arrangements to attend my niece’s graduation in Indiana, I didn’t realized how tight I had planned these three trips. Four days between the first and second trip and only one day between the second and third. It took us three full days just to mow both properties. How was I possibly going to pull this off?
\nI prayed about it for a while and talked with Mr. FixIt again and two of my trusted friends and they all said…set some priorities…get some rest…it’s ok to say no. I hated the idea of cancelling the Indiana trip. I hate missing my niece’s graduation and getting to see her family. And, I hate disappointing anyone. But, you know what? I’m not thirty-five anymore. I’m not fifty-five anymore. I’m nearly sixty-six and while, in many ways that is still young, I have to admit to myself I can’t do it all. I get tired easier. I get overwhelmed easier. I’ve noticed this since losing Mr. Virgo.
\nSo, I wrote a long note and sent it to my niece and her mom. I explained why we couldn’t come and while they will miss us, they understand. I immediately felt a weight lift off my shoulders and I cried with relief. It’s ok to cry “Uncle!” I turned on the air conditioning, crawled under a blanket, and rested…for the first time in weeks, it seems.
\n❤️
\n““Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”” Matthew 11:28-30 NIV\n", "date_published": "2019-05-01T01:30:16-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/05/01/uncle.html", "tags": ["Health","Family","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Growth","God","Wisdom","Aging","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/04/30/i-choose-joy.html", "title": "I Choose Joy!", "content_html": "
![\"Surf](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/317f78c236.jpg\")
“I’m choosing joy by choosing to remember the special moments we spent at the seashore last week.”
Even though Pastor Justin’s message Sunday morning was about choosing joy, I just had one of my “bad nights”. Yesterday’s post indicated I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders, and I did. Re-entry from vacation was part of it. Being overly tired was another. And, after being gone a week, there was a lot of catching up to do and we just heard one bad thing after another all day. It just hit me hard. Combine that with eating a greasy burger too late in the evening and I was up half the night.
\nI tried all my go-to remedies and nothing seemed to help. I was up pacing the floor. I tried snuggling with Mr. FixIt and that helped, but I was too hot. Finally, I took a Benadryl because I had been out mowing all afternoon and my head was throbbing. I settled into the guest room, opened the window to let the cool night air in, and read my Bible till I got drowsy. When I finally slept, it was sound and deep and restful…just what I asked God for in my nightly prayers. He is a good Father…His lullaby is perfect.
\nI hit the ground running yesterday and went for the MRI of my foot. I’ve had several MRI’s in my lifetime. I couldn’t believe it took a whole hour! It was an open MRI and, of course, the only thing in it was my foot. But the noises were the same. The technician turned up the music really loud and I listened to the country station for an hour. The only hard part was boredom thinking of all the things I could have been doing. Laying still on my back for an hour on a hard table wasn’t too much fun. I just used the time to have a conversation with God.
\nI needed to have fasting blood drawn from an appointment a couple of weeks ago and I kept forgetting to go in so I did that. Then I stopped at the mall and bought yet another dress for the wedding. I can’t seem to make up my mind but this one I really liked and it was 50% off. I can wear it to my niece’s college graduation this weekend and see how I like it. I even found some cute little sandals that were also half price. I’m not buying any more dresses!
\nMy last stop was Walmart for new sheets for the camper. I’m not one for keeping a lot of old sheets around. I buy two pair and rotate them till they’re worn out. I’ll bet I could count on two hands how many sets of sheets I’ve had in my life. Funny thing…they are exactly the same pattern as the sheets I bought for the big camper five years ago. I would have used those, but they were full size and the new camper ya s a queen bed. I also picked up a couple of throw rugs and a new shower curtain. Everything else will get moved from the old camper to the new one.
\nBefore we leave, I need to treat the fresh water tank with a mild bleach solution and run it through the pipes. Then I need to put some Dawn dish soap, Calgon Water Softener, more water, and a bag of ice in the black tank and take the camper for a drive to let it all slosh around in the tank and dislodge anything gunking up the works. I will drive up to a rest area up north and empty the tanks and get them all ready for Thursday. Once I get back home, I’ll make the beds and wipe down the surfaces. I’ll wipe out the fridge and the cabinets and wash the floors. Once the bathroom is cleaned, I can put down the new rugs. I’ll pack it up and we’ll be ready to go!
\nSo…today I choose joy. Even in the busy rush of life and travel preparation. Just breathe. Just breathe.
\n❤️
\n“When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy.” Psalm 94:19 NIV\n", "date_published": "2019-04-30T01:30:27-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/04/30/i-choose-joy.html", "tags": ["Faith","Health","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/04/27/goodbyefor-now.html", "title": "Goodbye...For Now", "content_html": "
![\"Best](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/be73289f45.jpg\")
“Best Friends”
Goodbyes are so hard…especially since losing Mr. Virgo. My world perspective has forever changed and grief has colored every thought since that fateful day. I am so aware of how tenuous life is and how strong the bonds between us and those we hold most dear.
\nToday we have to say so long to our dearest family/friends as they head back home to Colorado and we head back home to the Ponderosa. We have had such a delightful week. The weather seriously couldn’t have been more perfect. Our first morning here dawned sunny and gorgeous and remained the same the entire week until a band of severe thunder storms came through last evening. It rained hard into the night and brought cooler temperatures but today is supposed to be sunny with a high around 70 so it will be perfect traveling weather.
\nWhile grief and death are not in the forefront of my thoughts anymore, there are certain things that have changed because of my loss. Now, when I see a scene, I see it through the eyes of a widow and know the scenes I wish I had pictures of. As we watched the sunset in a quiet cove along the sound in the Cape Hatteras National Seashore the other night, I looked back. I noticed Ben & Sue turn to take in the last of the golden light as the sun dipped below the horizon over the glassy surface of the water. I smiled as Sue reached for Ben’s hand and I reached for my cell phone to snap this picture. I added the location and date and sent it to her.
\nWe do not know when our time will come, but we do know statistically that women outlive their husbands. When Mr. Virgo died, I really had fewer photos of him than I thought. I wanted to make sure Ben & Sue had all the special events of the week recorded for posterity.
\nAs we drove down to the beach last weekend, I kept thinking…”It’ll be over in an instant and we’ll be driving back home.” And, here we are. But…oh, my. We made some beautiful memories together this week and I will cherish this time together for the rest of my life.
\n❤️
\n“How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity!” Psalm 133:1 NIV\n", "date_published": "2019-04-27T01:30:17-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/04/27/goodbyefor-now.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Travel","Grief","Positive Energy","Fun","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Aging","Peaceful Moments","Choices","Be Joyful!","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/04/21/easter-sunday.html", "title": "Easter Sunday", "content_html": "
![\"Curratuck](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/81f365f422.jpg\")
“The sunset over the Curratuck Sound:
I don’t know if it’s because I’m getting older…or maybe it’s gaining a deeper connection to God…but Easter this year seems to have a much, much deeper meaning for me than ever before. I have a close church family relationship…probably for the first time in my life. And I have Mr. FixIt and my bonus family to go to church with. Whatever the reason, this Easter is completely different…personal.
\nWe arrived at the beach yesterday afternoon and did our obligatory stop at the grocery store. We weren’t at the condo more than half an hour when my son-in-law’s parents arrived. Oh, my…I love them dearly and was SO excited to see them. Ben & Sue are the salt of the earth. Good, hardworking people with great character and a terrific sense of humor. I’ve known them now since 1993 or so. I’ll tell you what…my daughter won the lottery when it comes to her husband and in-laws!
\nSue and I never really talked about faith much till the last couple of years and it has been wonderful to share that part of myself with her. We have a lot of wonderful discussions and I am so happy to have them here with us this week.
\nWe found a church right across the street that has an 11:00 service today so we won’t miss Easter.
\nMay you all have a blessed Easter! And for my Jewish family and friends…Happy Passover!
\n❤️
\n“He is not here; he has risen! Remember how he told you, while he was still with you in Galilee: ‘The Son of Man must be delivered over to the hands of sinners, be crucified and on the third day be raised again.’ ”” Luke 24:6-7 NIV\n \n", "date_published": "2019-04-21T01:30:31-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/04/21/easter-sunday.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Travel","Positive Energy","Gratitude","Grace","God","Peace","Holiday","Wisdom","Peaceful Moments","Choices","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/04/19/good-friday.html", "title": "Good Friday", "content_html": "
![\"Flowering](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/9a1b0c334b.jpg\")
“My grandma’s pretty posies…I love to visit them.”
I ran to the farm yesterday to pick up my laundry I left hanging to dry. I took a quick walkabout to see Grandma’s posies. She loved them so much and I always feel so close to her when I see them.
\nGrandma loved Easter time. Her flowers were beautiful and she almost always had all of her family together to go to church. I feel terrible that I won’t be attending church with the kids this weekend, but there is a church right across the road from the condo so we will still get to go to an Easter service.
\nThe bags are packed. Going to the time share is much like camping…we take extra linens and pots and pans because the one’s there are somewhat lacking in substance. We also bring some dry goods with us because groceries down there are so expensive. So, the truck will be packed first thing in the morning and we’ll hit the road no later than 9:00.
\nSmall group last night was wonderful. I talked to the girls about Passover and the rituals around the Seder meal. I brought some traditional foods for them to taste. They weren’t crazy about the gefilte fish!
\nKathy spoke about Easter. She told how Jesus washed the feet of the Disciples. Then, she prepared a basin and pitcher of warm water and washed all of our feet. It was a humbling experience. When she was done, I stepped forward and invited her to sit so that I could wash hers. I followed her example and told her the beautiful attributes Jesus sees when He looks at her. I thanked her for being such a shining example of a humble servant for all of us to see. And I told her how much I dearly love her.
\nWhat a wonderful way to start out our week!
\n❤️
\n“It was just before the Passover Festival. Jesus knew that the hour had come for him to leave this world and go to the Father. Having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end. The evening meal was in progress, and the devil had already prompted Judas, the son of Simon Iscariot, to betray Jesus. Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God; so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him. He came to Simon Peter, who said to him, “Lord, are you going to wash my feet?” Jesus replied, “You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.” “No,” said Peter, “you shall never wash my feet.” Jesus answered, “Unless I wash you, you have no part with me.” “Then, Lord,” Simon Peter replied, “not just my feet but my hands and my head as well!” Jesus answered, “Those who have had a bath need only to wash their feet; their whole body is clean. And you are clean, though not every one of you.” For he knew who was going to betray him, and that was why he said not every one was clean. When he had finished washing their feet, he put on his clothes and returned to his place. “Do you understand what I have done for you?” he asked them. “You call me ‘Teacher’ and ‘Lord,’ and rightly so, for that is what I am. Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. Very truly I tell you, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.” John 13:1-17 NIV\n", "date_published": "2019-04-19T01:30:21-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/04/19/good-friday.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Prayer","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Humbled","Peaceful Moments","Choices","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/04/16/evidence-of-healing.html", "title": "Evidence of Healing", "content_html": "
![\"Lighthouse\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/3664c7c6cf.jpg\")
“A memory from a time long ago and far away…”
I know April is a hectic time of year what with my daughter’s birthday and taxes being due. I was also quite busy this spring writing and editing my book. And, our annual trip to the Outer Banks is this weekend so my mind was preoccupied. As I sat down at the computer yesterday to write my post, I was confronted with one of those Facebook memories complete with scads of photos….of Mr. Virgo’s and my Honeymoon.
\nI couldn’t believe it. It was on the 7th and it never once crossed my mind. I remember one year I almost forgot. It was probably four years after his death and I felt so terribly guilty because I nearly went the whole day without thinking about it. This time, it was a whole week PAST the anniversary and I may not have remembered at all if I hadn’t seen the photos. But, I didn’t feel guilty. I actually felt somewhat relieved.
\nThere was a point in my grief when I thought I never would feel even somewhat normal again. I didn’t believe I would ever feel joy or freedom and certainly not romantic love again. Yet, here I am. On the other side. I’ve no doubt I still have my moments. NOT remembering seems monumental in some way.
\nNot focusing on or remembering an important anniversary doesn’t mean I have forgotten Mr. Virgo…or anything about him. It just means time has passed and I am healing. I’ve moved….forward. I wish I could have had some serious reassurance four or five years ago that so much healing could occur in what is a relatively short time in grief years.
\nThis time fourteen years ago, we were driving up the west coast on Highway 1. I wanted to stand on the beach with my husband. Fourteen years later, I’m packing to leave for a trip to the east coast so that I can stand on the beach with my husband.
\nIronic.
\nThe whole thing makes me smile. It makes my heart soften. It makes me ever so grateful to have known…and to now know…such great love.
\n❤️
\n“Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth— for your love is more delightful than wine.” Song of Songs 1:2 NIV\n", "date_published": "2019-04-16T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/04/16/evidence-of-healing.html", "tags": ["Family","Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","Wisdom","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!","Marriage","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/04/14/darkness-into-light.html", "title": "Darkness into Light", "content_html": "
![\"Palm](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/fdc47d0300.jpg\")
“Looking back, I am humbled by my deliverance.”
The stress of doing taxes this week made me sit back and reflect how differently I cope now as opposed to twenty years ago. Back then, I felt like that guy on Ted Mack’s Amateur Hour. You know the one…he twirled plates on top of sticks. First one, then two, then five…and eventually, he had about twelve of them spinning. He ran from one stick to another, desperately trying to keep all the plates spinning without crashing to the ground.
\nI did a great job spinning plates till…I didn’t. I burned out. I hit the wall. There were lots of reasons why, but the bottom line was…I didn’t have good coping skills. I had an alcoholic father. I seriously should have known not to push the drinking thing. But, more and more, I relied on alcohol to prop me up.
\nI had situational anxiety. Going to a party? I’d have a drink in the bathroom while I put on my makeup and called on “Ginny the Party Girl” to step forward…emboldened by a beer. Going to the game with the hospital administrator and his wife? Drink LOTS of beers. Hosting a dinner party for the medical staff? Wine…more wine! It got worse and worse.
\nWhen my marriage started to fall apart, I was terrified. I had no idea how to cope because I worshiped at the altar of my husband. I only had a cursory relationship with God and I didn’t know Jesus at all. I was relying entirely on someone fairly unreliable….myself. When thing became difficult between me and my husband, I started drinking about an hour before he was due home so I could get through the evening. Many times I just got too wasted to cook so I went to bed, leaving my family to fend for themselves.
\nAt the very end of our marriage, I found myself standing in a closet in the dark, drinking really expensive tequila straight from the bottle. I knew…KNEW in that moment that I was in dire straits. Unfortunately, when you are in that place, it’s really, really hard to pull yourself out of it without some help. I was just functional enough to fool people into thinking I still had it together…but I did not.
\nOur last Thanksgiving, my best friend’s husband caught me sneaking into their kitchen during dinner and drinking shots of tequila. I fell asleep on their couch while all the guests were at the table having dessert. I was desperately ill, but I was also an embarrassment. My husband didn’t know what to do with me. When I overdosed a couple of months later, I made the decision for him and I went away to get the help I needed.
\nNow, as a Christian, I know that God uses all things for my good and for HIS glory. Last week in church, I said my usual prayer…”Lord, if you have a message just for me, please deliver it through Pastor Justin.” And, in his message, God sent this…
\n“God will use your experiences for your good. He will use them for His glory. Your experiences are your story and your story has power. It has the power to change people. Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there and share your testimony.”
\nI smiled.
\nGod himself told me in that moment that, no matter how bad I got…no matter how messy my life was…no matter how dysfunctional I had been…He had saved me. HE came for ME! He left the 99 and came for the ONE. And when He found me, He carried me on His shoulders back to the flocks and announced to all…”Look, I’ve found my lost sheep! Come! Help me celebrate!”
\nI know God has great things in store for me. I anticipate the unexpected, just like Christine Caine preaches in her book, Unexpected: Leave Fear Behind, Move Forward in Faith, Embrace the Adventure. Yes, sometimes the unexpected is bad. But, sometimes it is amazing. I could never in a million years have imagined back when I was in the throes of torment…where I’d be today. I am so incredibly grateful that Jesus never gave up on me. He pursued me relentlessly because He had a plan. He knew what I was capable of. I am so humbled by His Love. Through Him, I can turn a dark and painful time into a testimony of the Goodness of God
\nOn this…Palm Sunday…remember the triumphal return of Jesus to Jerusalem is also the beginning of Holy Week. It is the true beginning of the end of His earthly walk. May you all be blessed and humbled in the coming week.
\n❤️
\n““What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off? And if he finds it, truly I tell you, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off. In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should perish.” \n\n", "date_published": "2019-04-14T01:30:27-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/04/14/darkness-into-light.html", "tags": ["Faith","Health","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Courage","Choices","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/04/13/always-be-humble-and-kind.html", "title": "Always be Humble and Kind", "content_html": "Matthew 18:12-14 NIV
![\"Dandelion\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/47d484a1bf.jpg\")
“I love when God sends me a not-so-gentle reminder to chill out!”
As I’m writing this, I’m propped up in bed, the windows flung wide, the peepers peeping their springtime love song. It is 10:30pm…I just finished a long and particularly grueling day sitting in front of my computer, doing my taxes. One frustration after another…but I doggedly pressed on with only a couple of short tempered outbursts. Finally…finally I got it all filled out and pressed “send” only to find out, yet again, my laptop won’t connect to the internet. I mean…it SAYS it’s connected, but I get a page that says “Cannot find page. Check your internet connection.” It works elsewhere, just not here. So, I said enough is enough for one day and I will pick it up tomorrow….today to you.
\nIn preparation for a day that could be stress-filled, I spent an extra long time in scripture before I got out of bed. I read my devotionals. I listened to a little praise music. I put on the full armor of God. And still, after twelve hours in front of the screen, I found my stress level rising. Poor Mr. FixIt steered clear of me most of the day and when he did have to sit with me, he was very loving and supportive. Good man.
\nWhen I finally called it quits for the day, I was too tired to even go out to TOW-Wanda to write…something I really look forward to when the weather is warm. I came into the bedroom to write, fully prepared to let loose a diatribe about how darned frustrating it is to spend a whole day on the taxes only to find out you have to pay a BOATLOAD. I climbed into bed, set up my little lap desk, opened my iPad, and God smacked me right between the eyes.
\n?
\nThere, staring back at me was a picture of a woman squatting down in front of an absolutely emaciated young child…so tiny and frail and nothing but skin and bones. She’s holding a water bottle up to the child’s lips….the little one with her head tipped back, gratefully taking a sip as she clings to a crust of bread in her tiny hand.
\nI am humbled…ashamed of my anger and frustration that I felt only seconds before.
\nLook what I have. A roof over my head, food on my table, clean water and air, a warm bed to sleep in, health, family…God.
\nYes, paying a big tax bill was not what I expected. But you know what? Just two weeks ago, God gave me a hefty settlement check for the accident I was in two years ago. I had a brain bleed, but can walk and talk. I lost four months of my memory, but my family didn’t have to lay me in the ground. And that check will cover my taxes and then some.
\nThere is always something to be grateful for. ALWAYS.
\nThank you, God…for your provision. And for the stern reminder of how good I have it. You are a good, good Father.
\n❤️
\n“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” Ephesians 4:2 NIV\n", "date_published": "2019-04-13T01:30:37-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/04/13/always-be-humble-and-kind.html", "tags": ["Faith","Prayer","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","God","Wisdom","Anger","Humbled","Presence","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/04/12/ommmmmmmmm.html", "title": "Ommmmmmmmm.......", "content_html": "
![\"Woman](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/a81f011dbf.jpg\")
“Trust me…I did NOT look this peaceful and serene this week working on my banking!”
I looked for a photo of someone working on her computer looking so peaceful and serene. Because, that has definitely NOT been me this week! Ok, seriously…I feel like I could reach back in the archives of any of the past six years, pull out a post for the week before taxes are due, and it would be the same darned story. Over and over and over. I wait till the last minute to reconcile my bank account. Yes…in the good old days when I didn’t have grief brain, I balanced it every month…to the penny. Now? Well, lets just say this year was better. I balanced it up till the end of July. The rest I had to download. And…my bank only keeps three months worth of statements in the accessible pipeline. Anything before that and you have to do a manual download which I have discovered may or may not be totally accurate. Not the program’s fault…it’s the operator.
\nI am not sure what I did wrong but my guess is I duplicated some entries and I was off by a country mile. In the past, this would have bugged the heck out of me and I would have spent an inordinate amount of time combing through every detail till I found the problem. And, if time wasn’t a factor, maybe I would do that. But it’s not like I’m keeping the national treasury balanced. My main purpose for using Quicken is to run expense reports for taxes. It’s not rocket science. I held my breath and created an audit. I go by my bank balance anyway, so I just balanced it to that and called it good.
\nThis wasn’t accomplished without a fair amount of hair-pulling and choice words because in the middle of things, the internet stopped working at the house. I didn’t have enough time to go back out to the farm and used the excruciatingly slow internet there, so I packed up my laptop and headed for Panera. I got a good salad, sat down, connected to the internet and ran a scan on their wireless to detect anything fishy. It came up clean so I scooted into my account, did the magic, and was back out in less than a minute. Easy peasy.
\nNext stop was Sam’s club to pick up a copy of this year’s TurboTax. I freaked out a little when I couldn’t find any and was afraid it might be sold out but they had some copies at the service desk. TurboTax has this really neat thing where you can do your taxes online and just pay for the tax program when you’re finished. The thing is, it was about $30 more to do it that way. You have to pay attention…these guys are tricky!
\nSo, the banking is done. Now all we have to do is plug in the numbers and see where we stand. Married filing jointly? Married filing separately? We’ll just have to see how it plays out. I’m just so blessed to have the choice.
\n❤️
\n“Tell us then, what is your opinion? Is it right to pay the imperial tax to Caesar or not?” But Jesus, knowing their evil intent, said, “You hypocrites, why are you trying to trap me? Show me the coin used for paying the tax.” They brought him a denarius, and he asked them, “Whose image is this? And whose inscription?” “Caesar’s,” they replied. Then he said to them, “So give back to Caesar what is Caesar’s, and to God what is God’s.”” Matthew 22:17-21 NIV\n", "date_published": "2019-04-12T01:30:49-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/04/12/ommmmmmmmm.html", "tags": ["Family","Overcoming Obstacles","Gratitude","Love","Wisdom","Courage","Change","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/04/11/memory-recall.html", "title": "Memory Recall", "content_html": "
![\"Memories\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/d3b170c5cd.jpg\")
“Photos of childhood memories can bridge the miles between you and your children.”
Sometimes it’s hard to reach my kids, both literally and figuratively. They have busy lives. Jobs, families, houses…they don’t have a lot of time to visit with their mom. I get that. I was in their shoes. So, instead of whining about it and pulling more than a nominal guilt trip, I have taken to sending them pictures of things I find on Pinterest. Not just any old thing. Things that will stir a memory of their childhoods and make them smile whether they have time to talk or not.
\nOne such photo was this one. It is identical to the kitchen we lived in when she was little and her daddy was in medical school. She remembered the sink, she said. But I know, if she remembered the sink, she thought of all the times I canned our food and baked our bread. She might have thought of the times we set up the tent in the backyard so she could have a sleepover. I’m sure she thought of the slumber party I let her have in the Vanagon camper with the pop top. We were still finding peanut M&M’s months later. Maybe she thought of the Christmas Eve Blizzard when we spent the day pushing people out of the ditch in front of the house. Or the time she rode her bike on the church parking lot down the street and almost put her eye out on a tree branch.
\nI miss being close to my kids. Maybe by this time, if I hadn’t have found Mr. FixIt, I might have been back there…or at least spend more time in Colorado. But, just as my girls have lives…so do I. I just have to make the most of the time I do have with them when I am there.
\nI spent yesterday at the farm again. I made great progress on the paperwork I’m doing. Tomorrow I can wrap it up and we can do our taxes and be done with it. I promise myself every year that I wont procrastinate next year…and here we are. Down to the wire yet again. Maybe next year!
\n❤️
\n“But everything should be done in a fitting and orderly way.” 1 Corinthians 14:40 NIV\n \n", "date_published": "2019-04-11T01:30:10-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/04/11/memory-recall.html", "tags": ["Colorado","Family","Uplifting Stories","Positive Energy","West Virginia","Growth","New Ideas","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Wisdom","Aging","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/04/10/bad-night-great-day.html", "title": "Bad Night - Great Day", "content_html": "
![\"James](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/37394a4953.jpg\")
“Resist the devil and he will flee.”
I remember back in the first two to three years of my grief, I often had what I referred to as “bad nights”. Nights were especially difficult from the beginning. Too many hours stretched ahead with too much time to think…especially since I had such a hard time sleeping. It didn’t take much to send my mind chasing rabbits and soon a thought would have me in a tailspin. I spent SO many nights alternating between gripping the mattress and throwing up. All. Night. Long. It was brutal.
\nThankfully, that finally evened out. Partially from time and healing, but mostly because I got a grip on my anxiety once I learned it’s source. Some may call it a trick of the mind, but I have been much more successful in not only controlling my anxiety, but sending it packing altogether. Prayer and petition to God to come in and bring me comfort helps tremendously. One thing has really helped me and the old me would have rolled my eyes with a “Right…sure…ok.”
\nThat one thing is banishing Satan. The enemy comes to rob, steal, and destroy. He is the force behind the thoughts “You can’t handle anything.” “You will always have anxiety.” “I’ll make sure you are miserable all the days of your life…this will never get better.” When I feel anxiety creeping in, I talk out loud now. I just tell the old goat to get the heck away from me because I don’t believe his stinking lies.
\nThe second thing I do is listen to praise music. I have discovered if I’m having anxiety and I start playing praise music and singing along, the anxiety dissipates. I cannot be anxious and upset while praising Jesus.
\nAnd…I’m human. Sometimes I forget to do those things and I get caught with my guard down. That’s what happened on Monday when we drove by my dad’s house and saw it had been torn down. I immediately felt sick and I let things spiral. I felt horrible and out of control. I could hardly eat a thing and that night, after writing my post, I tried eating a bowl of cereal and immediately got sick.
\nI did excuse myself to the guest bedroom so as not to interrupt Mr. FixIt’s sleep. I took something to settle my stomach and I read the Bible and listened to praise music. And I asked God to send his angels to wrap their wings around me and keep me safe. I immediately fell into a deep sleep and awoke refreshed and feeling much better.
\nI knew I needed to spend some time at the farm, though. The Farm is my touchstone. I drove out and sorted through my papers to prepare the taxes. I drank coffee and walked around the yard looking at Grandma’s posies. Once the paperwork was sorted, I took a little snooze in Grandma’s bed and finally headed back to The Ponderosa.
\nMr. FixIt did yard work all day. The field looked like a well manicured golf course. He wanted to show me some things so we walked the entire five acres, hand-in-hand, marveling at the spring beauty. We inched through a rose bramble to look for arrowheads on the creek-bank. We moved an old fallen tree. We found violets in the grass and looked for frogs in the ditch along the road.
\nLast night, just before bed, we went out back in our robes and slippers and held hands while we counted stars. The “bad night” of the night before wasn’t even in my memory. It had been banished with a stern warning…spoken aloud…”Get away from me Satan…you have no dominion over me!” He isn’t as powerful as he would like you to think he is. He can’t read our thoughts so we must speak aloud to him.
\nEvery time I get closer to Jesus…every time I raise my hand in church and further commit my heart to Christ…the enemy swings hard. He does this for the precise reason…he knows I’m a threat. He knows who lives in my heart…who is my true north. And he hates that. That’s ok. I can do hard things. I can have a “bad night” if it means I get so much greatness on the other side.
\n❤️
\n“Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” James 4:7 NIV\n", "date_published": "2019-04-10T01:30:54-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/04/10/bad-night-great-day.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","The Farm","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","God","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/04/04/renovations.html", "title": "Renovations", "content_html": "
![\"Vintage](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/c33e463b03.jpg\")
“There’s something about vintage kitchens that speaks to my heart.”
I came across this picture on Pinterest the other day. I don’t…CAN’T…spend as much time on Pinterest as I would like to. I have too many irons in the fire right now and I know what a black hole Pinterest is. It’s a candy store for creatives and I get SO lost. I pop in there every day because I get notifications. Almost always, there’s something on my landing page that I might pin if it’s an idea I’m working on, thinking maybe there WILL be a time when I can be a bit more leisurely. I look at my notifications, then I’m out of there…1-2 minutes, tops.
\nThe reason this particular picture grabbed my attention was a memory. Hubby #2 and I moved into our first house a couple of blocks from the medical school and this cabinet, and one just like it on the opposite wall, was in our kitchen. It formed a walkway into the breakfast nook where you sat in front of a big picture window.
\nThe view out the window was unremarkable, but that kitchen was one of the coolest in any house I’ve ever lived in. It was big and roomy with tons of storage space. It had a window over the kitchen sink which is always a must have for me. To this day, I cannot remember if the countertops were red or green…but I definitely remember that vintage style. It spoke to me…even as a young woman.
\nYou don’t find vintage kitchens like this much anymore. We are a throw away society with a newer is better attitude. The young wives of the ‘80s wanted new and better and hopefully not avocado green or harvest gold or that hideous brown copper toned color. No offense…if that’s what you have or what you love, but it was an affront to my sensibilities then and it remains so today. There is NOTHING nostalgic about that for me.
\nSpeaking of renovations, we are still in the throes of redoing master bath at the Ponderosa. I have never been married to a man that could fix or build anything. Seriously, if anything got built or renovated or decorated, it was my doing. I’m the one with the power tools. Well, I was. They all were stolen when someone broke into my storage unit and broke my heart. Mr. FixIt knows how to do everything. He didn’t get his name for nuthin’.
\nHere’s the thing. When I fixed up my mom’s house to put it on the market, I did the entire house myself except for installing the kitchen cabinets, connecting the gas for the new range, and updating the electrical service to the house. I tore the kitchen out to the walls and did it all…set the sink, installed a garbage disposal, new GFI outlets, plumbing, laminate flooring, under cabinet lighting, tiled the backsplash and entryway, coped the baseboards and quarter-round molding. I also refinished the hardwood floors, switched out all the ceiling light fixtures, put in a new doorbell and doors and storm doors, painted the entire inside, changed out the bathroom fixtures, tore the entire floor out and installed a subfloor, underpayment and linoleum, new baseboards and quarter round, a new toilet, took out the old medicine cabinet and installed a new mirror and lights and tiled the backsplash.
\nIn other words…I know my way around a renovation project.
\nThe thing is…I probably didn’t know enough to be intimidated. I just did it. And if I didn’t know how to do something or what tool I needed to do it with, I just consulted the knowledgeable staff at Lowes or read one of my helpful how-to books. I wasn’t picky. If it looked good, that was my bottom line. I thought it turned out great. Anyone who saw it thought it turned out great. And…I did the whole thing in about 4 months…by myself, for the most part.
\nThen I married “The Man With The Engineer’s Brain”.
\nHave you ever asked a man with an engineer’s brain to do something? They will do it. Perfectly. Absolutely perfectly. They will spend an inordinate amount of time drawing up plans…perhaps even doing so on a CAD program on the computer than costs more than the budget of small countries. They will print out the plans and study them and make notes. Then they will go back in and edit said plans. Then…once they are satisfied with the design, they will start the shopping process. The frugal engineer will have his/her supplies mapped out and listed by store according to price. This you will buy here. That you will buy there. All in good time.
\nFinally, the work begins. There will be measuring sessions. That will last a totally unpredictable amount of time. More notes will be taken and perhaps the CAD plans will be altered and reprinted. The flooring alone took several weeks. In a bathroom half the size of a good walk-in closet. Then there came the drywall. The patching. The sanding. The next coat of patching material. The second sanding. The third coat of patching material and the necessary sanding. Then came the painting. First the ceiling. Two coats. Then the walls. At least two coats.
\nI came in to see how it was going after the second coat of paint dried and Mr. FixIt was sanding…again.
\n“What on earth are you doing???”
\n“I didn’t like the way that looked. I don’t like satin paint. You can never get it to look good. I’m fixing this spot.”
\n“Cool. I’m going back out to the camper write now. Love you!”
\nNow we are at the point where we are installing the shower. He measured and calculated and remeasured and recalculated many times and finally…finally…we went to buy the fiberglass shower stall on Monday. That thing weighed a ton. We had to take it apart in order to get it in the house. Once inside, we took the protective coverings off and it was not only scratched, but it had several cracks in the fiberglass surface. So, we had to cart it back outside, put it all back together, and take it back to the store to exchange it. Once home, we had to take it apart again to get it in the house. Thank GOD it didn’t have any cracks because I just might have said a few choice words.
\nI could have had this bathroom done in two…three weeks tops. But I can guarantee you, it would not look nearly as perfect as the bathroom Mr. FixIt is building. I’m more of an instant gratification kind of gal so this has been a real learning opportunity for me in patience and appreciation. It’s coming along though. It’s definitely coming along.
\n❤️
\n“Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-04-04T01:30:42-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/04/04/renovations.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","New Ideas","Gratitude","Comfort","Wisdom","Humbled","Presence","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/04/03/cue-the-eye-roll.html", "title": "Cue the Eye Roll", "content_html": "Romans 12:12 NIV
![\"Eyeroll\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/71c9c5a3d8.jpg\")
“The eye roll…reserved for those moments when a whop over the head with a frying pan might be overkill.”
I posted a request on four different Facebook pages on Monday. Here…I’ll just cut and paste it so you can see what I’m talking about.
\n“Ok…I have a 30’ camper. The reason I went big was because I traveled FT and lived in it for most of three years. My original truck was an F-150 V6 EcoBoost with a 3.73 rear axle ratio. It would pull that camper up the passes of Colorado like nobody’s business. Two years ago, my truck was totaled in an accident. The replacement truck was identical in every way save for a 3.31 rear axle ratio. In my defense, I had a head injury and wasn’t thinking straight when I bought it. Needless to say, pulling on the flat is ok, but the mountain passes were crazy. I couldn’t get up to 20mph and had to stop several times to let the transmission cool down. I am now in a position to buy a new truck. Here is my dilemma. Finding an F-150 with a rear axle ratio of 3.73 is turning out to be like looking for a needle in a haystack. I have several options. I have settled down in WV and remarried and I don’t need such a big camper. I can downsize the camper. Then I don’t need as powerful a truck. Or, I can get out of my lane and buy a different truck. I really have to watch my mpg because this is my primary vehicle. Thanks in advance for your input…I appreciate it!”
\nPretty innocent. I posted it on two women-only camping pages, a family camping page, and a page that seems to be largely frequented by men that deals with RV Tips & Hints. I sat back and watched the comments flow and suddenly I was struck by a huge difference between the gals’ answers and the guys’. The gals were informative and supportive and respectful. The guys? Well, you could just almost SEE them spitting and scratching places that shouldn’t be scratched in public.
\nThere was a lot of jockeying for position between the men. Lots of “right on, bro” kinda stuff. One of the responses that had me in stitches was from a guy I’ll call Bob. Bob started out nice enough. He pointed out asking a question like this to 1,000 people would give me 1,000 different opinions. He wasn’t far off. His advice was to weigh my options…(Ummmmm, I think that’s what I’m asking y’all for, Bob…), seek my own council…(Wait a minute? Are you telling me to stop asking the question, Bob? I’m confused…), and evaluate what I think my needs might be in five years (Thank you for having faith that I’ll still be camping like this in five years, Bob. You’re a peach!). This is where Bob kind of went off the rails on me when he added…”and, what your new wife enjoys.”
\n?
\nWait…did Bob just suggest what I THINK he suggested?
\nSee…our good friend Bob here assumed that if I am towing a 30’ camper across the country by myself, I must be a Lesbian. Or maybe he didn’t pay attention to who wrote the post and assumed I was a man who had just gotten married. Because, you know, a WOMAN wouldn’t/couldn’t/shouldn’t tow a 30’ camper…by herself…all over the country…for three years. I wrote back and said, “You must be talking about my husband, Bob. ? See…I’m the gal. I’m the one who towed the 30’ camper back and forth across the country for three years. I’m uber handy that way. ?”
\n(Cue the eye roll. ?)
\nBob, Bob, Bob…girls can do things without gender or sexual orientation being a part of it. Girls can tow campers…BIG campers. They can back them up into teeny tiny little spaces, too. Girls can do just about anything guys can do. I went into a car dealership yesterday and test drove a truck. The sales person was a woman named Megan. Megan had been on the job for eight months. I asked if she loved her job, she gleefully said “Yes! But oh….the guys hate it! They don’t like having a woman in their space all the time.” I gave her a high five.
\nShow ‘em what you’re made of, Megan!
\n❤️
\n“The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.” Proverbs 14:1 NIV\n", "date_published": "2019-04-03T01:30:40-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/04/03/cue-the-eye-roll.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Wisdom","Courage","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/04/02/sick-tired.html", "title": "Sick \u0026 Tired", "content_html": "
![\"Elephant](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/7b69958f86.jpg\")
“Can’t we all just get along?”
Those of you who have been reading my blog for some time know that, even in my grief, I’m a pretty upbeat individual. Mr. Virgo used to call me Pollyanna because I always look on the sunny side of life. I objected saying there’s nothing wrong with looking for the light, even in the darkest situations…as long as you don’t stick your head in the sand. I think I keep a weather eye out for the realities of the world while still trying to look on the bright side.
\nI’ve gotta tell ya…and this is in NO WAY a political post…but, I’m just sick and tired of hearing all the ugliness these days. I keep looking for the God-spark in everyone and dang if it isn’t disheartening sometimes. I read something yesterday that punched me in the gut. Teachers can no longer teach kids the way we were taught. Because, the world we were raised for no longer exists. We didn’t have a TV till I was in school. Countries on the other side of the world were nothing but stories in the encyclopedia. We didn’t have indoor plumbing at my grandma’s house till I was in first grade. We went from that to landing a man on the moon by the time I was in high school. To think the computer onboard an Apollo spacecraft was far, far less sophisticated than a Blackberry…and they are archaic in the grand scheme of things.
\nBetween the Information Age, readily accessible electronics, and Joe Public’s thirst for all things that would have been cringeworthy a decade or two ago, we are bombarded with violence. When I grew up, coverage of the Vietnam War and shoot-em-up Westerns were about as violent and graphic as anything you would likely witness unless you saw a terrible accident. You can’t put smoke back in a bottle. Once you see this stuff, it’s in your brain…and in your heart.
\nMr. FixIt and I had to run to town yesterday to get the shower insert for the new bathroom. As I was gathering my things to leave, he asked me to watch a story from CBS Sunday Morning. It was about Sandy and Lonnie Phillips. Their daughter was one of the victims in the 2012 mass shooting in the movie theater in Aurora, CO. She was with a friend who was an EMS. He was shot twice and he did everything he could to save her, but he couldn’t.
\nAs I watched this story, my heart broke for all of them. I know grief. But I know nothing of the grief that comes with violence. Instead of climbing into the never ending hole of horror, they chose to help other victims of mass shootings. They’ve rented their house out, quit their jobs, sold everything they owned, and travel from place to place pulling a travel trailer….following the shootings. They started in Newtown, then went to Isla Vista, San Bernardino, Orlando, Las Vegas, Sutherland Springs, Parkland, Santa Fe, Pittsburg and Thousand Oaks. The equivalent of a soldier with PTSD running into firefight after firefight after bloody firefight with no end in sight.
\nIt brings them no joy. They still cry every day out of sadness and pain and it’s been seven years since their daughter was murdered. But they do find satisfaction in helping others who are coming up the same path behind them. They are able to hang onto each other and offer comfort to others while being bombarded by conspiracy theorists who verbally threaten and harass them. Their super power is compassion.
\nMy soul is tired. My brain is bruised. My heart is weary. “I can do hard things.” But…in reality, can I? Could I do what the Phillips’ are doing? Could I survive such horrors? I think I couldn’t, but I know God could. I know I had to rely on Him to carry me through Mr. Virgo’s death so I have no reason to believe He won’t carry me through everything that comes to me in this life.
\nI’m just so tired of all the anger, hatred, ugliness, violence, pain, depravity. I cling to the joy and hope I find in my faith. I pray for this world. I pray for wisdom. I pray for peace. I pray for strength to get through a time that numbs me. I don’t want to be numb. I want to always, always, always look for the light. Find the good. Encourage the downtrodden. Shine a light in the darkness. See, here’s the thing…there are a lot more good people on this earth than the media will lead you to believe.
\nLook for the light. Look for the helpers. Yes, I get weary…I just can’t quit.
\nSo, I press on. I go outside and put my bare feet on the earth to ground myself. I feel the wind on my face. I close my eyes and turn my face to the sun. I hug people…a lot. It’s the best gift I can give them because I can’t help but get a hug in return.
\nIf all of these things bother you, too…turn off the TV. Put down the newspaper. Go outside. Nature heals.
\n❤️
\n“Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. For, “Whoever would love life and see good days must keep their tongue from evil and their lips from deceitful speech. They must turn from evil and do good; they must seek peace and pursue it. For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their prayer, but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”” 1 Peter 3:9-12 NIV\n", "date_published": "2019-04-02T01:30:17-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/04/02/sick-tired.html", "tags": ["Faith","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Growth","God","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Warning","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/04/01/vibrant-women.html", "title": "Vibrant Women", "content_html": "
![\"Vibrant](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/8ad16fc44e.jpg\")
“Vibrant Women…a women’s ministry.”
Something phenomenal happened Friday night and it has taken me this long to process it. Actually, I’m sure I’ll be processing it for some time to come. We have a husband-wife team leading our church. It has been wonderful to watch Pastor Heather growing into a strong leader for the women of our region. A little over three years ago, God planted a seed in her to lead a Women’s Ministry. She gathered her friends together, told them her ideas for this movement, and asked them to start feeding her possible names. When she heard “Vibrant Women”, she was moved. Vigorous. Energetic. Lively. Vital. All words that resonated with where she wanted to go with this movement….words that described women of strong faith.
\nThis was the third Vibrant Women event held at our church…the second I have attended. It’s come a long way since the beginning. I think there might have been two-hundred women at the first one. Friday night saw almost SEVEN HUNDRED women packed into our church. There wasn’t a seat in the house. The sound booth said at one point the decibel scale peaked out at the same level as a jet engine. It was crazy fun. The energy level in that room was amazing.
\nWe had a guest pastor…Pastor April Carter of the Together Church in Yakima, Washington. Pastor April spoke about Living Beyond Fear. Oh….she touched every single one of us. At the end of her message, she told a personal story. Someone who works in her church called her…panic stricken. Then he arrived home, his house was surrounded by police, fire, and ambulance crews. They would not let him in the house. The only thing he knew was, something happened that involved his son. Pastor April and Pastor Micahn headed to the hospital to meet them.
\nAs they sat there, waiting for word of what was going on, she absentmindedly fingered a necklace she was wearing that a friend gave her. It is engraved…”I Can Do Hard Things”. The time dragged slowly by. They prayed together. They held each other up. And, finally…the doctor came out. Their friends’ son had gotten his hands on a gun and somehow accidentally shot himself. And they could not save him. Pastor April closed her eyes and repeated to herself…
\n“I can do hard things. I can do hard things. I can do hard things.”
\nSince Mr. Virgo died, I haven’t been so good in medical emergencies. There have been times I haven’t been able to show up for people who need me to do hard things. Pastor April challenged us to put on our boxing gloves and get in the ring of life and fight. Listening to her, I felt empowered. I felt stronger. I felt like trying harder and being the best version of myself I can be. I mean, isn’t that what faith does for us?
\n“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Even the hard things.
\nWe were doubly blessed in that Pastor April delivered our message at church yesterday too so we got to hear her twice this weekend. I googled her name on YouTube last night and there was a message called “Hard Reset”. You should give it a listen if you are interested. She is very good.
\n❤️
\n“I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-04-01T01:30:37-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/04/01/vibrant-women.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Growth","New Ideas","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Humbled","Choices","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/03/30/getting-healthy.html", "title": "Getting Healthy", "content_html": "Philippians 4:13 NIV
![\"AdvoCare\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/ee749bfded.jpg\")
“It’s time to get healthy with AdvoCare’s 24 Day Challenge!”
I went to the doctor last week for bronchitis and had to do that thing I’ve dreaded the most…I had to step on a scale! I haven’t weighed myself in ages…mostly because I just find it so demoralizing. I am past the caring what others think of me thing. However, I do still care what I think of myself. I don’t feel healthy when I weigh this much. My feet hurt. My bladder leaks. My acid reflux is abysmal. The whole thing makes me pretty darned cranky.
\nUnfortunately, I’ve had to take steroids twice in the last six months and that wreaks havoc on my weight. However, I can’t just blame this weight gain on medications. Writing this book kept me sequestered in my camper for the last two months. And when I write, I nibble and nosh without thinking much about it. Winter brings the blahs and comfort food gets me in trouble in a hurry.
\nIt’s time to do something about it. I did check into a weight loss program that a friend of mine is one. She has had a dramatic weight loss and looks wonderful, but her program is $400 a month and that is unreasonable for someone on a fixed income. I have decided to do what worked for me last time and just ordered the Advocare 24 Day Challenge. It’s time. It’s not too terribly expensive and if you work it, it really gives me that jump start I need to get me going. If any of you are interested in doing it with me, you can send me a private message and I can send you the link to purchase what you need. If you followed along with me three years ago, you saw what a difference it made.
\nIt’s a new season. I need to stay active and physically fit so I can maintain my fun girl camper lifestyle! I’m going to be 66 this summer…it’s time to really take serious control of my health!
\n❤️
\n“Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like someone running aimlessly; I do not fight like a boxer beating the air. No, I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.” \n\n", "date_published": "2019-03-30T01:30:01-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/03/30/getting-healthy.html", "tags": ["Health","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Wisdom","Aging","Choices","Change","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/03/28/chaching.html", "title": "Cha-Ching!", "content_html": "1 Corinthians 9:24-27 NIV
![\"Money\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/94e33bfe36.jpg\")
“There’s an old saying…Watch your pennies and your dollars will watch themselves. I hate when I get caught paying more for something than I should have. I feel robbed!”
I’m really careful with my money these days. I wasn’t always. I hate to admit it, but I was a spoiled princess and I really didn’t pay much attention to how much things cost. If I wanted/needed something, I just bought it. I didn’t pay much mind to grades of quality other than to buy the best I could afford. I still adhere to that somewhat, because I firmly believe you usually get what you pay for. I am much more accommodating when it comes to sacrificing a little bit of quality for a good savings. I also hate to admit, I’m learning most of this from Mr. FixIt. He’s a frugal man and, while I have gotten him to spring for a little better quality sometimes, he has done a wonderful job in teaching me to pay attention to prices.
\nI went out yesterday to pay my property taxes and get my tags for my truck for another year. It really chaps my hide that I pay taxes on my earnings, then I pay taxes on what I buy, and ultimately I pay personal property taxes on those items I purchased just so I can own them. In West Virginia, in order to get your tags on your vehicle every year, you have to pay your personal property taxes. You pay on the vehicle you owned in June two years prior. I owned a 2011 Ford F-150 pickup truck and my 2015 camper. My taxes and tags were a little over $800.
\nMr. FixIt and I were having dinner last night when I told him how much my tax bill was. He thought that was a little high so he went and got his. Now, he pays for two vehicles, two campers, and a utility trailer. Granted they are a little older than mine, but all five of his totaled less than what I paid, so I had to dig in and figure out why.
\nIt turns out, I have been using my post office box as my address, even though I physically live in a different county. If I would have changed my address to Mr. FixIt’s house, my taxes would have been at least $250 less! It never even occurred to me there would be that much of a difference. And, now that it’s been paid, I can’t do anything about it. But, trust me, I’m changing my address ASAP. This is just another lesson for widows to check on these things. If Mr. FixIt would have been with me, he would have noticed the taxes seemed high and we could have investigated. And, if it weren’t for him, I never would have known about this.
\nThe upside, if there is such a thing as an upside in spending $250 more than you needed to, some of that money went for a school bond in the little town I grew up in. So, I’ll just look at is as a non-tax-deductible contribution to the betterment of my old hometown. They’re on their own next year!
\n❤️
\n“Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-03-28T01:30:21-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/03/28/chaching.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Growth","Wisdom","Warning","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/03/26/widowed-or-single.html", "title": "Widowed or Single?", "content_html": "Proverbs 15:22 NIV
![\"Widow\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/825ec8b655.jpg\")
“Has the mental image of ‘widow’ changed all that much?
One of my friends shared a post with me yesterday. Ironically, it turns out I know the woman who wrote it. And, I know her well enough to understand what she meant by what she said about being called a widow. The writer, Jan, said she didn’t like the term “widow” because it conjures up this preconceived notion of “old” and “feeble”. As she says, we live in an era where ageism runs rampant. Our gray hair and social mores puts the widow in an unenviable position on more levels than grief alone.
\nJan says she hates going into doctor’s offices and filling out the forms, having to select widowed or single. She has taken to saying she is “single-by-death” because, she DOES feel single. I’m all for changing the vernacular and the image of widows. Of course, the early throes of acute grief is a time where most of us feel old beyond our years, lost, destined to a life of lonely sadness. After that period of crisis, we do begin…in our own time…to heal and move forward. I don’t know any widow who wants to be looked down on and pitied. In this day and age, widows aren’t a bunch of doddering old ladies wearing black and sitting in the corner crying all the time.
\nI hated the term widow, too. I thoroughly resented it at first because I was very, very busy trying to pretend he didn’t die. Calling me a widow just turned a spotlight on my spectacular ruse and left me with nothing but shadow puppets of my former life. I sometimes rebelliously referred to myself as “single-by-chance” simply because I hated the word death as much as I hated the word widow. “Single-by-chance” could cover a lot of situations…death, divorce, break-ups. I liked it. But eventually, I just went with widow and tried to show what one looks like by pulling a huge camper across the country alone and dancing on the bar at Coyote Ugly and going into the wilderness and backroads of Colorado for three months…alone.
\nIn researching photos for this post, I Googled “widow”. There was a plethora of images of spiders and Scarlet Johansson in a black latex catsuit with the occasional Civil War era tintype of a haunted woman in black thrown in for good measure. This got me to thinking…if Google is any indication, maybe the world isn’t as obsessed with the word “widow” as widows themselves are. Widowhood and grief are lonely pursuits. We are singular. We are rather myopic. We have lost half of our whole. At least, we have for a while. Eventually, half reduces itself…bit by tiny little bit.
\nI was widowed…singled-by-chance…surely not by choice. Now that Mr. FixIt and I have married, when I relate my story in my work as a speaker and a writer, I say I was widowed. I suppose in the absolute vernacular, I am a widow. But that is a far smaller piece of who I am today than it used to be. I think that’s the way it should be…for me.
\nThat’s the beauty of language and social norms. We can change things. We can change the words and the images of who we are in the world today. Who we are and how we want to be seen. What works for one may not work for another. Be who…or what…you are. Empirical evidence says…I am a Child of God…first and foremost. The rest is superfluous.
\n❤️
\n““Cursed is anyone who withholds justice from the foreigner, the fatherless or the widow.” Then all the people shall say, “Amen!”” \n\n", "date_published": "2019-03-26T01:30:29-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/03/26/widowed-or-single.html", "tags": ["Faith","Health","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","God","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/03/24/sunday-memories.html", "title": "Sunday Memories", "content_html": "Deuteronomy 27:19 NIV
![\"Hanky\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/313909180d.jpg\")
“Grandma always carried a fresh hanky wherever she went.”
I was looking through my picture albums on my iPad yesterday. I sometimes browse to find old memories that stir up a story for you. This one did just that. I’ve been writing about The Farm since early on in this blog. Grandma’s farm holds a king-sized piece of real estate in my heart so my stories often center around my memories there. And, since I am knee deep in editing my rough draft for the book, I have been writing and re-reading these stories.
\nFor as far back as I can remember, my grandma tied a shiny dime in the corner of a clean hanky and gave one to each of us kids to take to church. The hanky for our little noses…the shiny dime for the collection plate. Then Pop-Pop gave us each a stick of Beeman’s gum. Actually, we only got half a stick till we got older. I can remember when I ‘graduated’ to a full stick…I felt so grown up.
\n![\"Bethel](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/e3b88458a7.jpg\")
“Bethel Chapel…the little church on the hill. I drew this picture June 28, 2001…sitting on the sidewalk out front.”
The little church-house up on the hill has been there since June 9, 1914. It hasn’t had a lot done to it in all those years. Two rooms were built on the back for classrooms and an indoor bathroom…something we didn’t have the pleasure of when I was growing up. The windows have been replaced. The belfry was listing to one side so it’s been shored up. It has been painted countless times over the years. When my cousin Rick and his wife Charlotte got married, my Aunt Peeps painted that church all by herself so it would be fresh for the wedding. That woman loved to paint!
\nI have some really wonderful memories of that little church. And I’ve had some of my most traumatic there. This was the church where the little circuit preacher literally scared the pee out of me and I headed off to find God some other way. That led me to eventually becoming Jewish for twenty-seven years, and now…here I am…full circle and back to my roots. This was also the church where my parents were married, where my Pop-Pop was one of the lay-ministers, and where his funeral was held. Many Sundays I sat in the hard wooden pews as a little girl with my feet dangling mid-air, clutching my little hanky and worrying out the knot to get my dime ready for the collection. Many Sundays, Aunt Idy played the rickety old piano…it’s keys sticking and horribly out of tune.
\nAunt Idy lived in a crooked white house. She was a tiny, frail little thing…never married. She helped care for her invalid sister and brother and she was my grandma’s best friend. Once a week, Aunty Idy called to get the latest “news” for the Ritchie County Gazette. She wrote the column about the latest goings on up Dutchman road and Grandma always cringed when she saw something about herself in the paper. She abided by the rule “Fool’s names, like their faces, always seen in public places.” It was usually something like “so-and-so had a visit this week from such-and-such from somewhere” or “Mr. & Mrs. Somebody went to Parkersburg this week to see the doctor. All were given a clean bill of heath!” Thank God Grandma never told her about hemorrhoids!
\nGrandma’s hankies. I have a couple of them somewhere in my things…the things I couldn’t part with. I don’t know that my kids will be interested…or even my grandkids. So, maybe when it’s my time to go, I’ll tie a shiny dime in the corner and go looking for Grandma.
\n❤️
\n“Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. As it is written: “They have freely scattered their gifts to the poor; their righteousness endures forever.”” 2 Corinthians 9:6-9 NIV\n", "date_published": "2019-03-24T01:30:54-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/03/24/sunday-memories.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Prayer","West Virginia","The Farm","Comfort","Grace","God","Peace","Wisdom","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/03/22/mother-of-the-bride.html", "title": "Mother of the Bride", "content_html": "
![\"Purple](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/b4effec483.jpg\")
“I am hoping this is the one!”
The last time I was a Mother of the Bride was in 1995. It’s been a while. I’m an entirely different person this time around than I was when my older daughter got married. I was a hyper-involved helicopter mom back then. Just ask my daughter. She will tell you that she really had very little to do with her wedding because it was MY party. Many years of therapy later, I can now see that I lived the life I wished I’d had vicariously through her. I had terrible stage fright. She was in theater. SO cool! I wasn’t popular or athletic enough to be a cheerleader. She was. Uber awesome! She had cool friends that I got to hang out with. She got to go to college and live in a dorm! I was positively green with envy. She married the first young man she met in college and they were (and still are) perfect for each other. I wanted the fairy tail life she had. She loved me because I was her mom. But she hated me all the same. And I don’t blame her.
\nAs her little sister, sixteen years her junior, was growing up, I can’t count the times Daughter #1 huffed at me because she wasn’t allowed to do this or that like her little sister. “She gets away with murder!” “You would have killed me if I did that!” She’s right, of course. I was already too tired to fly that helicopter over the young one and I had a crapload of my own issues by that time. Siblings are different anyway…but the difference between these two is remarkable.
\nConsequently, I am hardly involved with Daughter #2’s wedding. For one thing, I live on the other side of the country. For another thing, she and her fiancée have incredibly eclectic taste and their’s will hardly resemble a traditional wedding. I’m just tickled to pieces she has found someone whose beat matches her own. I’m happy to show up with a smile and stand where she tells me. This is going to chap her sister’s hide, I can assure you. But it is what it is.
\nI am actually going to be the Co-Matron of Honor at this wedding…a position I will happily share with her BFF, Lizzie. When I asked my daughter what she wanted me to wear, she said she didn’t really care as long as it was in the colors they chose for the occasion. Royal Purple and Hunter Green. I laughed and thought maybe I could wear Gold Lame and we could throw beads and pretend it’s Mardi Gras! You can clearly see my thinking is different now than in the ‘90s.
\nI chose to go with purple instead of the dark green. For one reason, the green just sounded way too hot to me and this little soirée takes place the first weekend in August. Also, I look better in purple. And, it’s a little bit easier to find appropriate attire this time of year if you look for spring colors.
\nI’ve been scouring the dress shops in our little burg and the selection is somewhat limited. I really don’t want to spend a boat load of money on a dress I will more than likely only wear once and since she doesn’t really care, I’ll go the least expensive route. I’ve scanned the internet and finally found this dress. I like it. It will hide a multitude of self-perceived “flaws” in case I don’t lose as much weight as I would like…a task I am hard-pressed to accomplish if I continue to eat pizza like I did as I wrote this. I did break one of my cardinal rules ordering this dress. I believe it is coming from one of those foreign clothing manufacturers and I have no idea if it will look anything like the picture. It was less than $40 so I’m not getting my hopes up, but if it’s a fiasco I’m not out a ton of money. I’ll let you know if/when I receive it.
\nIn the meantime, the plans continue, my smile is ready, and it will be a beautiful day.
\n❤️
\n“We are careful to be honorable before the Lord, but we also want everyone else to see that we are honorable.” 2 Corinthians 8:21 NLT\n", "date_published": "2019-03-22T01:30:19-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/03/22/mother-of-the-bride.html", "tags": ["Family","Overcoming Obstacles","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Wisdom","Humbled","Choices","Wedding"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/03/20/from-wounded-to-awakened.html", "title": "From Wounded to Awakened", "content_html": "
![\"Meme\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/2030fde3ac.jpg\")
“Awakened Women know from whence they came. Overcoming brokenness takes a great deal of hard work and patience.”
It would probably be safe to say most of us have been wounded in one way or another in our lives. You don’t get to 65 without some bumps and bruises. I spent so much of my adult life as one of the walking wounded. Growing up with an alcoholic father, being subjected to sexual abuse, experiencing brutality at the hands of a teacher, and getting the pee scared out of me by a traveling preacher were the foundation of fear that wounded my little girl psyche. That led me down a path of self destruction that nearly ended my life.
\nKathy, my small group leader, posted this meme in our group chat yesterday. When you are the wounded woman who has become awakened, you don’t always understand the significance of the steps involved to heal. It’s easier when you watch others achieve their own healing. That’s when you understand just how far you’ve come. In other words, sometimes you really don’t get something till you see it in black and white.
\nI was sitting with Mr. FixIt at breakfast yesterday when I saw this meme. I had just been talking to him the other night about how different I feel with him than with any other person I’ve been with. I am totally at home. Comfortable in my own skin.
\n“You see the list on the left?” I said. “That was me before Mr. Virgo. Actually, I was still a little bit like that while I was married to him. But now? Now I’m firmly planted in the list on the right. You didn’t do that. I didn’t do that. GOD did that. Ok…I had to choose God first. Then I had to ask him to fix me. But HE’S the one that did the fixing. He’s the one who sent the right therapists, the right doctor. He’s the one who gave me the courage to find my voice.”
\nHe “gets” me. He’s the one who gets to reap the rewards of my awakening. I remember back when I was separated from Hubby #2. I knew he had this good, kind, gently, emotive man inside him. He knew I had the potential to embrace everything in the list on the right. We just couldn’t bring those things out in each other. We needed to go through what we went through to become who we are.
\nOur daughter is getting married in August. Mr. FixIt and I will be attending the wedding being held at my ex’s somewhat palatial estate. I’ve never been there but I’ve seen pictures. The “me” that used to live in the left hand list would walk into that house feeling less than…unworthy…apologetic…falling all over myself to make a good impression, to look a certain way, to act a certain way in order to gain approval. The woman I have become is awakened. I know my value. It doesn’t come from anything…or anyone…earthly. I needn’t apologize for anything. I speak gently to myself.
\nI have to admit…the first time I saw a picture of my ex’s house, I burned with envy. For just a moment. The thought was, ‘That should have been MY house!’ Which was immediately followed by, ‘Yes, dear one…but HE comes with that house.’ There’s definitely a reason we aren’t together. We are both much better off apart.
\nThis has been a long….LONG time coming. And, I’m finally…finally…finally there. ❤️
\n“for the light makes everything visible. This is why it is said, “Awake, O sleeper, rise up from the dead, and Christ will give you light.”” \n\n", "date_published": "2019-03-20T01:30:19-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/03/20/from-wounded-to-awakened.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Growth","Wisdom","Aging","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/03/19/a-visit-from-aunt-flo.html", "title": "A Visit From Aunt Flo", "content_html": "Ephesians 5:14 NLT
![\"Woman](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/490154b523.jpg\")
“Ahhhh, the vagaries of youth…some I miss, most I don’t!”
So, here’s a topic we’ve never delved into…that dreaded part of being a woman during her reproductive years. Yes…that monthly visit from Aunt Flo. I can tell you this, when I had a total hysterectomy in 1994, I was tickled as all get out to get rid of that monster. Unfortunately, it was immediately replaced with a rampant case of “InstaPause”…full on menopause symptoms felt all at once when I came out of anesthesia. None of that slip-sliding into the quasi psychotic stages of hot flashes, weight gain, depression, anxiety, and hair growing out of places where hair should NEVER grow on a woman. Noooooo….I dove head first into that lovely mess. The only good part about the whole thing was saying goodbye to Aunt Flo for good!
\nOne of my readers passed this on to me yesterday and I had to share it with you. OMGosh! I laughed till I cried, so of course, I have to share it with you. I SO know you can relate!
\n“This is an “actual letter” from an Austin, Texas woman sent to Proctor and Gamble regarding one of their feminine products. She really gets rolling after the first paragraph. This was PC Magazine’s 2009 Editors’ Choice award-winner for the best letter sent via e-mail.
\nDear Mr. Thatcher,
\nI have been a loyal user of your ‘Always’ maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the Leak Guard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I’d probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I’d certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts.
\nBut my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic I can’t tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there’s a little F-16 in my pants.
\nHave you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? I’m guessing you haven’t. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I’ll be transformed into what my husband likes to call ‘an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.’
\nIsn’t the human body amazing?
\nAs Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you’ve no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customer’s monthly visits from ‘Aunt Flo’. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it’s a tough time for most women.
\nThe point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants. Which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words:
\n‘Have a Happy Period.’
\nAre you f—— kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness, is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable?
\nWell, did it, James?
\nFYI, unless you’re some kind of sick S&M freak, there will never be anything ‘happy’ about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don’t march down to the local Walgreen’s armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory. For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn’t it make more sense to say something that’s actually pertinent, like ‘Put down the Hammer’ or ‘Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong’.
\nSir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullsh!t. And that’s a promise I will keep.
\nAlways. . …
\nWendi Aarons - Austin , TX”
\nIf you are still getting visits from your Aunt Flo, my sympathies to you. Lord, I surely don’t miss those days! ❤️
\n“A wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands.” Proverbs 14:1 NLT\n \n", "date_published": "2019-03-19T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/03/19/a-visit-from-aunt-flo.html", "tags": ["Health","Overcoming Obstacles","Gratitude","Wisdom","Aging","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/03/17/kiss-meim-irish.html", "title": "Kiss Me...I’m 23% Irish!", "content_html": "
![\"St.](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/331bc5bfd6.jpg\")
“We’re all Irish on St. Paddy’s Day!”
According to my DNA test results, I am 23% Irish-Scottish. I wish I would have known this before Mr. Virgo died because he was a very, very proud Irish lad. I mean…McKinney, right? It doesn’t get much more Irish than that. He acted like he had a corner on the market when it came to Irish roots. He adored St. Patrick’s Day. Every year, we had corned beef and cabbage and fried apples for dinner. He stopped short of wearing green since he worked in 5-Star hotels and restaurants. He had a certain decorum about him. But, ohhhhhh, that was HIS holiday.
\nHe called me the night of the 16th and said…”OMGosh! I forgot to buy green food coloring for the beer! You’ve got to go to the store for me!” Ok…every…stinking…year.
\n“Are you telling me you can’t think of this at least ONCE in the 364 days between the holidays?” I was always thunderstruck this incredibly organized VIRGO couldn’t seem to grasp that he was going to need green food coloring every year.
\n“Yes! Please…it’s 9:00! The stores are going to close soon…I need to bring it in with me in the morning. Get as many bottles as you can!”
\nsigh
\n“Ok, babe…I’ll do my best!”
\nWe lived in a teeny little town with one grocery store. I rushed in and cornered the first grocery clerk I came to. “Quick! Green food coloring! I need ALL of your green food coloring!”
\nDo you have a picture in your mind of the look on her face?
\n“Ummmmmm, ok. It’s over here.”
\nFour little bottles. I bought them and tried to calculate if I could get to the next town in time before they closed so I could buy more when my better angels said, “Nahhhhh…that’s enough.”
\nEvery year…same thing.
\nI was sitting in the pizza joint typing this the other night. I haven’t really felt Mr. Virgo around for quite awhile, but as I was in the middle of typing this story and literally laughing out loud…the radio overhead got really loud.
\n“At Last” by Etta James.
\nWe danced our first dance to that song. I sat back and looked at the empty seat across the booth from me and smiled.
\n‘Are you here? Did you come to say hello? Happy St. Patrick’s Day, Mr. Virgo! I’m so glad you stopped by.’
\n❤️
\n“Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved, but whoever does not believe will be condemned.” Mark 16:16 NIV\n", "date_published": "2019-03-17T01:30:33-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/03/17/kiss-meim-irish.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Fun","Love","Holiday","Wisdom","Peaceful Moments"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/03/16/fancy-meeting-jew-here.html", "title": "Fancy Meeting Jew Here", "content_html": "
![\"Tzitzit\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/4091b950b8.jpg\")
“You don’t see tzitzit around these parts very often.”
The other evening, I was home by myself and had a hankering for pizza. I’ll bet I have had one slice of pizza in the last six years and Giovanni’s was calling my name. Mr. FixIt doesn’t like this place so, since he wasn’t at home, I decided to go by myself. Ohhhhhh, I wasn’t sorry. Although the crust was just the slightest bit too soft on the bottom center, it was overall divine!
\nI threw caution to the wind and had them paint the crust with garlic butter. What the heck…I’d already blown any semblance of health food out of the water with this endeavor, might as well take it all the way! A wonderful sauce, a little skimpy on the pepperoni, generous on the mushrooms and the cheese was that perfect cross between crispy brown and ooooey-gooooey perfection. Ah, yes…I thoroughly enjoyed that.
\nI took my iPad with me so I could write in the restaurant and make an evening of it. As I was setting up, a man and his little girl walked in the door. I saw twenty people walk in the door that evening. None of them made an impression like this guy. The first thing I noticed was his tzitzit…the specially knotted tassels on his tallit katan…an undergarment traditionally worn under an observant Jew’s clothing. The second thing I noticed was his kippah, also known as a yarmulke…the skullcap Jewish men wear.
\nI looked at him and smiled in amusement. This is not something you normally see in small town West Virginia…very, VERY small town. Having lived as a Jew for twenty-seven years, I am quite familiar with the trappings of Judaism and I just had to know more about this guy. He went to the counter and picked up his pizzas and filled his drink cups. I finally caught his eye.
\n“You don’t see tzitzit around these parts very often.” I smiled.
\n“You don’t see very many people around here who know what they are.” He smiled back and shook my hand. “Mike.”
\nI took his hand in mine. “Ginny. It’s very nice to meet you.”
\nTurns out, Mike is originally from West Virginia but he lived in Israel for a long time. He met his Israeli wife there. Their oldest child was born in Israel. The baby was born here. We had a really interesting conversation about the reception he gets in small town America. He said in this little town, it’s fine…but in my hometown of Parkersburg, he has had some negative experiences. Hate is such an ugly thing. I truly believe the hate he (and I, myself) experienced is one of ignorance. It’s a family disease when you live your whole life without meeting anyone much different than yourself.
\nThere isn’t much of a Jewish Congregation in Parkersburg…and none to my knowledge in the surrounding countryside. There used to be a small synagogue in town, but I don’t believe it’s there anymore. To make matters worse, Mike is a Messianic Jew…meaning he is Jewish, but he has accepted Jesus. In all actuality, I could be considered a Messianic Jew because I still feel a special kinship to the Jewish people. Many of my family members are Jewish.
\nJews don’t necessarily take kindly to Messianic Jews. They do not believe Jesus is the Messiah. So they don’t consider a Messianic Jew to be…well, Jewish. And Christians don’t quite get it either. Here you have someone who says he has accepted Jesus, but is wearing the traditional garb of the Jewish people. They get kind of stuck in the middle.
\nI have a personal understanding of this position. When I came to West Virginia for Thanksgiving one year, I had a family member tell me to put my Star of David inside my sweater so I wouldn’t upset our Grandma. Let me tell you…I had a little quiet discussion with her and told her my Grandma loved me for who I was, and didn’t love me any less for my beliefs. I threatened to make the discussion a little louder right there in the dining room in front of the whole family and she backed off. I’ll stand up for the underdog any day of the week and I have to tell you…discrimination stings. I had never, ever experienced that before and it was terrible.
\nI handed Mike my business card and asked him to have his wife contact me. I’d love to befriend them and normalize the Judeo-Christian experience for them here. I know there are those who are highly suspicious of Messianic Jews because of the “Jews for Jesus” movement, but I don’t categorize people…I just love them. I thought to myself, maybe others will come to be accepting of them as well. I waved to them as they headed out the door and I sat back and smiled. Nope, you just never know what you might find in small town America. I think I may have found a gem.
\n❤️
\n“Remember your leaders, those who spoke God’s message to you. Reflect on the results of their way of life, and imitate their trust — Yeshua the Messiah is the same yesterday, today and forever.” Messianic Jews (Heb) 13:7-8 CJB\n", "date_published": "2019-03-16T01:30:21-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/03/16/fancy-meeting-jew-here.html", "tags": ["Faith","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","West Virginia","Growth","Grace","Peace","Wisdom","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/03/15/heaven-sent.html", "title": "Heaven Sent", "content_html": "
![\"Spring\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/449a532d1a.jpg\")
“I know it isn’t officially spring, but….this is good enough for me!”
Beware the Ides of March, they say. March 15th hasn’t always been my favorite day. For instance, this was the day Hubby #2 told me he wanted a divorce. Not one of my better days. This was also the day of Mr. Virgo’s viewing and Rosary which knocked all previous bad days out of the bad day competition up to that point. I think the 16th nudged ahead of that one.
\nNow though…now is different. Even though it’s not officially spring in West Virginia, you can’t tell Mother Nature that. Yesterday was stellar with a temp of 79 degrees at 4:00pm. After watching videos of the bomb cyclone that tore through Colorado on Wednesday, I was ever so grateful to sit in TOW-Wanda and write. The sounds of the peepers serenaded me as the stiff breezes rocked the camper gently. I even rubbed it in by video chatting with my favorite peeps in Denver and showed them the sunshine and open windows in my camper. Yeah…they don’t like me much right now….can’t understand why. insert eye-roll here
\nWe all have good times and bad times in life that cycle up and down. I don’t forget the bad times. In the throes of acute grief, you honestly don’t believe you will ever feel joy again so it comes as a surprise when you first feel it. You even feel guilty because, after all, how can you possibly laugh when your person died? Eventually, one smile brings two. Laughter slowly replaces tears. Warm memories eventually move the pain of loss a little further back in your mind till eventually, even one day after the angelversary, you can feel the sun on your face and appreciate a warm spring day with undeniable joy in your heart.
\nLife is good. God is great. Spring is here. Joy abounds. Breathe. If these things aren’t here for you yet…hang on. They’re coming. ❤️
\n\n “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person’s strength.” Proverbs 17:22 NLT\n", "date_published": "2019-03-15T01:30:41-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/03/15/heaven-sent.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Hope","Positive Energy","TOW-Wanda!","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Presence","Peaceful Moments","Change","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/03/14/friedas-new-shoes.html", "title": "Frieda’s New Shoes", "content_html": "
![\"Tire](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/c9de6965e1.jpg\")
“Frieda got a new pair of shoes!”
West Virginia requires a yearly vehicle inspection. That’s a good thing. Without that, I can just imagine the kind of cars and trucks that would be out on these country roads. It’s a pretty rigorous inspection, too. You can fail if the tint on your windows is just a little too dark. Or if you have a hole in your muffler. Or, as was my case yesterday…Frieda needed a new pair of shoes.
\nFirst off, I wouldn’t have gone to the garage I went to if it wasn’t for Mr. FixIt. He’s lived in this house since 1979. He knows ev-er-y-bo-dy. I have learned to take his word for it. He’s always gone to this place…so that’s where I went. I’m glad I did. The mechanic was great. He hoisted Frieda up on his lift and checked everything out. When he was done, he called me into the garage and showed me the front tires.
\nI have been watching these tires pretty carefully. I knew I was going to need to replace them soon. But, I’m getting ready to trade her in and buy one that’s more powerful to pull TOW-Wanda up the mountains of Colorado. I hate to put money into a truck I’m going to trade. The thing is, the inspection came due before the check came in for the purchase. So I kept hoping I could slip by.
\nMr. Mechanic pointed out something I didn’t even look at. I’ve been paying attention to the outside edges of the tires. With the truck on the lift, I could clearly see when the inside edges were so worn, you could see the wire mesh…the tread was worn away completely. And that is not safe. The cards were on the table. New shoes or no sticker.
\nWhen I was a kid, my parent used to go to this shop down by the river where they could buy good used tires…cheap. We called Walmart first and two suitable tires were around $250 total…mounted and balanced. We went to the shop that sells used tires and I got two perfectly fine tires, plenty of tread, same brand as what was on the truck, mounted and balanced for $83 and change. You bet I went with the used tires….especially since I had Mr. FixIt with me to make sure they were good.
\nSometimes people buy a car or truck and they don’t like the tires that are on it, so they go to a tire store and buy four new tires. I know they do this because I’ve done it myself…you know, back when money wasn’t as big an issue as it is now. I’m not destitute by any stretch of the imagination, but I want to keep what I can and make it work for me as much as possible. Mr. FixIt is teaching me many things. Being frugal is one of them. Now it’s like a game to see how good I can get for the least amount of money.
\nWhen tires have been traded in and they are still perfectly good, they get sold to a shop like the one I went to yesterday. The savings gets passed to the consumer…me! Now, Frieda has a new pair of shoes and a brand new sticker till next year. And I’m not out a gazillion dollars.
\nOh, and I needed to refill the propane tanks for TOW-Wanda. When I lived up by the river, I was charged $58 to refill two 30# tanks. Mr. FixIt took me to his guy. You guessed it…$32 for the same thing. Makes me mad I got ripped off four years ago…but so grateful to have the input now. I guess I just never asked enough questions before. We are all a work in progress and it’s never too late to learn.
\n❤️
\n“The godly may trip seven times, but they will get up again. But one disaster is enough to overthrow the wicked.” Proverbs 24:16 NLT\n", "date_published": "2019-03-14T01:30:56-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/03/14/friedas-new-shoes.html", "tags": ["TOW-Wanda!","West Virginia","Growth","New Ideas","Wisdom","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/03/12/angelversary.html", "title": "Angelversary", "content_html": "
![\"Handsome](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/e057599f53.jpg\")
“Remembering Mr. Virgo”
Last year, I removed the date of Mr. Virgo’s death from my calendar so I would no longer receive reminders on my phone. After all, I’m not likely to forget such an event as that anyway. I do have a hard time remembering the exact date of my mom’s death and my grandma’s and my dad’s. I know approximately when they occurred but I have to look it up if I need to know the exact date. Not so with Mr. Virgo’s. I’ll never forget that…or him.
\nIt was six years ago today that we set out to buy the travel trailer to take us into retirement. It was a beautiful sunny day with a hint of spring and we had everything to look forward to. Although I had been having premonitions all week, it was still a shock when he died so suddenly.
\nThis was something I didn’t believe I could recover from. I swore to my girls that I would never, ever get married again because I couldn’t go through this a second time. Yet, here we are…six years down the road and I’m married again…to an equally wonderful man. I’ve been blessed with good men in my life.
\nMy friend Deneene lost her husband in March a few years after me. I began to mentor her through the widow experience when she was going through a particularly rough patch. We don’t get to see each other much anymore as she has moved to South Carolina with her new love. We connect frequently via chat and yesterday, she sent a note telling me she was thinking of me and the angelversary of Mr. Virgo’s death. She asked how I was going to commemorate this day. Last year, when I removed the alarm from my calendar, I thought five years was enough of that. I figured I wouldn’t want to do anything special anymore. But, once I thought about it, I decided I was wrong. Time doesn’t change the facts.
\nIt’s interesting at this point to think of my marriage to Mr. Virgo. He has now been gone the same amount of time we were married. And, just because time has passed, and just because I’m crazy in love with Mr. FixIt and I’m happily married, doesn’t mean my love for this wonderful man I shared my life with has diminished. Daughter #2 called me yesterday and we talked for quite some time about this. When we lose someone so special, our hearts expand at some point. My heart is much, much bigger than it was when Mr. Virgo died. There are spaces there with the names of every person I have truly loved. Those spaces do not become smaller in order to allow room for other to come in. The vessel itself had to grow.
\nAs time has passed after each loss, those spaces that remain from the love lost aren’t empty shells. I’ve filled them with love and memories like filling a beautiful vase with thousands of blooms…only these flowers will never die. There were times, especially with the divorces, that I held onto bitterness and anger, but those things did not serve me. Filling each space in my heart with love has been my saving grace.
\nI am so blessed to be married to such a wonderful man who does not expect me to clean house and rid myself of those spaces in my heart. I would never expect him to do so. If you have truly loved someone, no matter what the end result of the relationship, filling those rooms full of flowers can set you free.
\nSo, I’m at the farm. I’m writing and drinking good coffee and eating chocolate hearts. And I’m counting all my blessings for a heart filled with blooms by remembering my life with a good, kind man. ❤️
\n“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” Psalm 73:26 NIV\n", "date_published": "2019-03-12T01:30:19-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/03/12/angelversary.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Change","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/03/11/tap-tap-tap.html", "title": "Tap Tap Tap", "content_html": "
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/3206152c59.jpg\")
“Typing away…tap, tap, tap!”
I am back to work on the book. I’m editing the first rough draft and it’s going really well, actually. My prayer going into this was to have a cheerful heart and find joy in the process. It’s amazing what a change in attitude can do in making a normally arduous task into something of a pleasure. Fresh eyes and a little distance gives you a new perspective and it’s easier to identify where the story needs polishing.
\nI took yesterday off. Grandma always instructed us to keep the Sabbath. She told me if I ever sewed anything on Sunday, I’d spend all of eternity picking it out with my teeth. I can approach editing with more joy than before, but that doesn’t mean I want to spend all eternity doing it! We went to church with the family and then brunch.
\nI bought the piece to fix the toilet at the farm. I need to fill the propane tanks for TOW-Wanda. Then I can hole up in the camper and write. Oh…and I finally took down the Christmas tree. I figured it was time with the spring forward thing!
\nWe had such a lovely warm day yesterday. We got out of the truck after church and the peepers were singing! That is definitely the harbinger of spring. We made it through another winter!
\nOh, I wanted to tell you about something that happened last week. Actually, it started about a month ago. I had a small mole on my temple that suddenly started to grow. I didn’t think much of it, but when it became tender and was really getting quite noticeable, I figured it was about time to call the dermatologist to go in and have it taken off.
\nThen I heard a sermon on healings. The premise was to not only pray for the healing….but to believe in the healing and thank God for it as if it had already occurred. Last week, I placed my finger on the growth and thanked God for taking it away for me. I just believed it was gone. I really wish I would have taken a picture of the growth for proof because…in two days’ time, it quite literally dried up and fell off! I run my fingers over the smooth skin where this growth was and I am just so amazed. Power of suggestion? Placebo effect? Nah…I’m going with divine intervention! Isn’t that amazing? ❤️
\n“Heal me, Lord, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for you are the one I praise.” Jeremiah 17:14 NIV\n", "date_published": "2019-03-11T01:30:31-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/03/11/tap-tap-tap.html", "tags": ["Faith","Health","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","God","Wisdom","Humbled","Choices","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/03/10/my-first-job.html", "title": "My First Job", "content_html": "
![\"McCrory’s](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/a4eb8e3462.jpg\")
“McCrory’s Five & Dime in Downtown Parkersburg”
I got my first job when I was 16. My family didn’t have much money, and if I wanted to buy anything extra, I had to come up with a way to pay for it myself. I saved my babysitting money in a piggy bank. Then when I had a fair amount, I went to the bank and opened a savings account. Then I learned McCrory’s was looking for help with sales and stocking the store in the evenings after school. I walked downtown from my mom’s office and got the job.
\nI especially remember a beautiful jewelry box. My mom didn’t have nice things like fancy jewelry and the like, but what she did have…she treasured as if it were something from Tiffany’s. I wanted that jewelry box for my mom.
\nI knew that once the money went in my savings account, it was off limits for spending. That’s when I heard about The Christmas Club. If you went in to the bank and put in a dollar, you could open an account that basically just parked your money for you till the holidays. Then you withdrew all but a dollar and started over.
\nI put that jewelry box on layaway at McCrory’s and opened my Christmas Club account. I remember feeling SO grown up when I put money in my account and knew it was going to be something special for my mom. Every Saturday, my friends and I would take the City Bus downtown to walk around the stores. My first stop was the bank to put some money in my Christmas Club. Then we went to GC Murphy’s and I bought a 45RPM record and a small ball of angora yarn to wrap around my boyfriend’s ring to make it fit me. Then we would sit at the lunch counter and have a Cherry Coke and laugh and talk for a couple of hours.
\nSometimes we would walk through Dils Brothers Department store. The front of the store had huge display windows that were tastefully decorated. We took the elevator up and down. There was a woman in a uniform who operated the elevator and called out each floor. Every once in a while, you heard a small soft chime overhead. I believe it was some sort of communication to the employees. None of us could afford to buy anything at Dils. We couldn’t afford Broida’s Stone & Thomas or Buttermore’s Jewelers either, but we walked around and pretended we could.
\nWhen the first of December came around, I went to the bank and cashed in my Christmas Club and bought my mom that jewelry box. She thought it was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. I had enough money to buy her a bottle of Evening in Paris as well as some bath salts. I know I bought her gifts over the years, and as my financial situation improved, her gifts became more elaborate. But none were ever given, or received, with such pride as the ones I gave that Christmas from the first money I ever earned on my own…from McCrory’s Five and Dime. ❤️
\n“Dishonest money dwindles away, but whoever gathers money little by little makes it grow.” Proverbs 13:11 NIV\n", "date_published": "2019-03-10T01:30:08-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/03/10/my-first-job.html", "tags": ["Family","Fun","West Virginia","Gratitude","Love","Holiday","Wisdom","Humbled","Peaceful Moments","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/03/08/a-new-perspective.html", "title": "A New Perspective", "content_html": "
![\"Serenity](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/90bccfe6e5.jpg\")
“It never occurred to me to apply the Serenity Prayer to grief, but it makes perfect sense.”
I used to be a social drinker. For a long time, I told myself that anyway. And, I suppose it was true if you considered every day having at least one, maybe two glasses of wine with dinner…”social” drinking. I mean…I WAS with people, right? I never really saw it as a problem. When I was pregnant with my second daughter, I didn’t drink at all and it never bothered me. After she was born, I had a small glass of wine in the evenings. The doctor said it was good for me and it relaxed the baby. Whatever the doctor says, right?
\nOnce the baby was weaned, I was back to my two glasses every day. It didn’t really become a problem till the last year I was with Hubby #2. My marriage was on the rocks. I couldn’t fix it and I couldn’t face losing it. So, we put doilies on the elephant in the room and I mixed a pitcher of Martinis…for myself…before dinner. If it wasn’t Martinis, it was Tequila…or really good Scotch…or stiff Bloody Mary’s…or a bottle of excellent Cabernet. I was self medicating…and that was a problem.
\nIt interfered with my relationships…with my husband, with my kids, with my friends. I knew my marriage was circling the drain and I was going down with the ship. It wasn’t till after the overdose that I saw the light. I woke up in the ICU and knew I’d hit rock bottom and something had to change. I’ve never touched a drop since January 5th, 2000. And I can honestly say, I’ve never had the slightest craving, not the tiniest bit of desire to drink alcohol or take prescription pain meds. Nothing.
\nFor a period of time, I went to AA meetings…nine months, maybe. I know there are people who work that program and it saves lives. I know that for a fact. I also know, God can lift that burden off of you in a heartbeat because I am living proof of that. For the longest time, I only related the Serenity Prayer to AA. It is recited at the meetings, so I took a narrow view of its usefulness.
\nWhat if…what if we use the Serenity Prayer on grief?
\n“God, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change;”
\nTo this, we can say….”God, I cannot change the fact that he died. Help me to accept that.”
\n“Courage to change the things I can;”
\nTo this, we can say…”God, help me walk in a way that honors him. Give me the courage to face this new life alone. Make me strong in my faith so that I can change the things in my life that no long serve me.”
\n“And the Wisdom to know the difference.”
\nTo this, we can say…”God, make me wise in my decision making. Give me discernment in my dealings with people. Bring me the wisdom of knowing when to hang on to things and when to let go.”
\nIt honestly never occurred to me to use the Serenity Prayer on anything out of the context of alcohol…maybe drugs. But not Grief, or pain, or depression, or anxiety. This opens doors to another avenue of prayer and…I can never have too much prayer in my life. ❤️
\n““I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”” - John 16:33 NIV\n \n", "date_published": "2019-03-08T02:30:44-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/03/08/a-new-perspective.html", "tags": ["Faith","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Peace","Wisdom","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/03/07/feed-me.html", "title": "Feed Me!", "content_html": "
![\"Cardinal\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/137a16ceea.jpg\")
“A redbird just makes my day!”
I fixed my coffee and sat down at Grandma’s window to read my morning devotions before I commenced editing the rough draft yesterday. A red flash caught my eye and I looked out to see a cardinal at the feeder. It didn’t take long for me to realize both feeders were empty. I set my coffee aside and dragged the big seed bin from the corner of the dining room out to the front door. I used to leave this bin out on the front porch till one day I noticed the lid was getting chewed up. I used a bungee cord to tie the lid down to keep the critters out but the raccoons were about to get in out of sheer persistence.
\nI quickly filled the feeders and was happy to get back inside out of the 17 degree chill. It was snowing to beat the band five minutes earlier, but now the sun was out. It left little warmth, unfortunately, but my…it did look pretty on that new snow. I dragged the seed bin back into the dining room and tucked it behind my chair and sat back down. In moments, Mr. and Mrs. Cardinal swooped back in, their feathers puffed up to trap air and keep them warm. They looked pretty fat and sassy, but I knew they appreciated breakfast.
\nI heated up my coffee.
\nI found myself wishing I had done more for Grandma when she lived here all those years after Pop-Pop died. Oh, I bought her a new stove once and a refrigerator. I talked to her on the phone one day and she was remarking how hot it was and her fan stopped working. I went online and ordered a fan and she received it the next day. She thought I was some kind of miracle worker. I never could get her to understand internet shopping.
\nIn her later years, when she spent so much time sitting in her chair in front of this very window, her Bible lay open on her lap as she studied her Sunday School Lesson. She would have loved to have had these bird feeders out on her porch then. The birds would have been so close she could almost reach out and touch them. This made me chuckle at another memory.
\nWhen grandma took pictures of the family when we gathered for visits, she stood way back so everyone fit in the frame. None of this “scooch together, guys”. Nope…she would have moved back as far as she needed to to get everyone in the picture. This is why, unless you were present on that particular occasion, you only have the vaguest idea WHO is actually IN the photo. You can’t make out any facial features. If you blew up the pictures a hundred times, you still couldn’t identify anyone simply because it was too far away to gain any kind of focus.
\nBut SHE knew who was there. She never forgot a thing. She was sharp clear up to within a year or two before her death. She never forgot a gathering…they were just that important to her. She always wanted us to all get together at her house, at the same time. She reveled in her family. I understand that more now than I ever have. I miss my Colorado family. I enjoy my West Virginia family. Couldn’t the two states be closer?
\nI finished my devotion, in front of Grandma’s window and another thought came to me. I wish I would have accepted Jesus while she was still living. She would have loved that. ❤️
\n“How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity!”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-03-07T02:30:52-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/03/07/feed-me.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Uplifting Stories","Prayer","West Virginia","The Farm","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Wisdom","Peaceful Moments","Writing"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/03/06/a-change-of-scenery.html", "title": "A Change of Scenery", "content_html": "Psalm 133:1 NIV
![\"The](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/54680851a6.jpg\")
“Running out of propane sent me running for the farm.”
I had a lovely, slow start to my morning yesterday. I had a full day planned out in “the office”, reading and editing the rough draft. Went out and turned the furnace on ahead of time to warm it up since it was a frigid 17 degrees. I fixed my coffee, gathered my book bag, kissed Mr. FixIt goodbye, and headed out to TOW-Wanda.
\nI wasn’t out there 20 minutes when it seemed to be getting colder instead of warmer. I got up and checked the air blowing out of the heater vents…barely warm. I lit the burner on the stove and even on high, there was barely a flame. I was very close to running out of propane. So, I shut it all down, packed everything back up, and headed back in the house.
\nAs I’ve shared before, we are in the midst of renovating the master bath, which usually has Mr. FixIt hopping. However, with it being 17 degrees, he wasn’t very motivated to go out to the building and cut drywall. I knew I would be tempted to blow off what I intended to do and just hang out with my buddy all day. Instead, I announced there was a change of plans.
\nSince my book bag was already packed, I decided to come to the farm for a few days of intense editing time. After a snooze in the recliner, Mr. FixIt found the motivation to work on the bathroom…since his playmate wasn’t going to be there. It sounds like a win-win, I do believe. I arrived, fixed some lunch, and carried my coffee to the front window where Grandma always watched the world go by. My portable desk on my lap, my iPad open and at the ready, I found my gaze continually pulled to the view before me.
\nThere is the clock I bought Mr. Virgo for his last Christmas. There is the little birdhouse my dear friend Charlotte gave me. You can see the newel post my Uncle Bud made for Grandma when I was a very little girl. He had a penchant for all things cedar. Out front, the bird feeders were attracting the usual flock of chickadees, finches, and tufted titmice. The doves gathered around on the ground below, scavenging what had been knocked aside by the others as they looked for their favorite tidbits among the seeds.
\nI kept hearing a banging sound I couldn’t identify. It sounded like the popping sound the old gas stove made before we switched out for the new one. I sat in the bathroom for twenty minutes waiting for it to kick off and back on but it never did. I sat in the bedroom and finally heard the sound again. It came from the front of the house. I walked around out front and couldn’t find anything and just as I was coming back inside, a gust of wind knocked something on the front porch and duplicated the sound. A little repositioning and the problem was solved.
\nThe deep gong of the only wind chime I can tolerate let me know the breeze is picking up. It’s cold and white outside, but in here, it’s warm and toasty. We have free gas at the farm. My Pop-Pop always said, the free gas was worth more than the farm itself. I believe he is correct, from a strictly monetary and convenience standpoint. But I would beg to differ in the real value of these 74 acres. This is…and will always be…the home of my heart. It’s old. It’s drafty. The roof leaks in a couple places, but not bad. The linoleum flooring is cracked and has holes here and there…it’s pattern worn and faded.
\nThe original double hung windows are single paned in desperate need of a good washing. The nail heads show through on the old plaster and lathe walls. The boards creak in just the right areas to play the same tune I’ve heard all my life as I wander through the rooms. The pump kicks on out in the cellar house, reminding me our water doesn’t come through some treatment plant but is filtered through the sand and limestone far below my feet. It’s been briny ever since they capped off the wells on this property over 60 years ago.
\nAs I write this, propped up in Grandma and Pop-Pop’s bed, the window is cracked open just enough so I can hear the soft gurgle of the creek beneath the bedroom window. You don’t really have to have the window open to feel the wind blowing outside. All you need to do is stand near the front or back door and hold out your hand. The wind blows around the edges quite easily.
\nA thought has been nagging me for a week till I finally figured it out. My grandma died 20 years ago March 2nd. It is so hard to believe she has been gone so long and I miss her every day. I think that’s one reason I love this farm so much. I know SHE loved it, and I loved her. This is where I feel closest to her.
\nOk, so…I didn’t get as much done yesterday as I would have liked. That’s ok…my heart is full and my spirit is warmed by the rich memories these walls hold for me. I’ll take getting recharged here over stressing about edits…any day of the week. Today will be another day and I can start refreshed…coffee in hand…warmth in my heart. ❤️
\n““But watch out! Be careful never to forget what you yourself have seen. Do not let these memories escape from your mind as long as you live! And be sure to pass them on to your children and grandchildren.”\n\n \n", "date_published": "2019-03-06T02:30:11-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/03/06/a-change-of-scenery.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","West Virginia","The Farm","Gratitude","Comfort","Love","Wisdom","Presence","Peaceful Moments","Writing","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/03/04/march-forth.html", "title": "March Forth", "content_html": "Deuteronomy 4:9 NLT
![\"March](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/fba7afd5b0.jpg\")
“March forth on March 4th!”
One of the benefits of being 65 is hindsight. I look back over my life and see a mishmash of events and situations that have led me to the exact spot where I stand today. Any decision along the way could have taken me in an entirely different direction. What if I hadn’t had the two marriages that ended in divorce? I wouldn’t have these beautiful daughters that have blessed my life so tremendously. I wouldn’t have Big and Little to make my heart sing. I wouldn’t have the in-laws and extended families that come with marriages. I wouldn’t have the lessons I learned through it all.
\nEach decision brought the next circumstance. While the second divorce was the worst because it was the longest marriage…if we hadn’t parted company, I never would have met Mr. Virgo. He helped me to believe in myself. He taught me so much about life and unconditional love. I tell people he taught me how to live without him by showing me I am much stronger than I ever believed. And then he died.
\nI can’t help but look back over the past nearly six years since Mr. Virgo died and marvel at the resilience of the human heart. I was battered, crushed, totally broken when he died. And bit by bit, I picked up the pieces of my broken self and handed them to God to hold. They cut me when I tried to hang on to them. He faithfully, diligently stitched the pieces back together, making sure I resembled who I was before but knowing he couldn’t make a carbon copy.
\nFaith. Hebrews 11:1 says “…faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” It wasn’t just my heart God stitched back together. He instilled in me…hope. When it was 3:00am and I was clinging to the edge of the mattress hoping to just get through the night, He whispered hope. When I cried till I couldn’t breathe…He whispered hope. He breathed hope into my life every single day so that I could find the strength to march forth into the next day, and the next, and the next.
\nIt’s been 2,182 days I’ve marched forth. I have friends who are on day 4…day 21…day 93. My heart hurts for them. I want them to understand, I know it hurts. And I know you think you will never survive this or feel joy again. I let God carry the sharp bits for a long time. I handed the pieces over and asked Him to start stitching. I let Him breathe hope into the dark places. That’s how I got through.
\nHere I am…happily married again. The size of my family has literally doubled. So has my joy…and my faith. ❤️
\n“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” Hebrews 11:1 KJV\n", "date_published": "2019-03-04T02:30:33-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/03/04/march-forth.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","God","Wisdom","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/03/03/as-winter-fades.html", "title": "As Winter Fades", "content_html": "
![\"Mountains\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/7646ca0714.jpg\")
“Winter is having a blast this weekend….but spring is around the corner!”
I should write a book every February. Sitting in TOW-Wanda for the entire month made the time fly by. I try to like winter. I try to have a happier outlook. And, it’s not even like we had a bad winter. It’s just not green. I like green. It’s not warm. I like warm.
\nI think maybe this winter was easier too because I took a cue from Mother Nature. God puts all the trees and flowers and grasses to sleep in the winter. He gives them a break. It’s a time to rest and regroup. I like that. I tried not to make it too slug-like and just sit for weeks on end doing nothing. I tried to keep busy with things. I didn’t keep my body as busy as I should have. But I sure kept my mind occupied. And that helped the time go by.
\nI have a love/hate relationship with March. I love that spring is just around the corner. I love seeing the buds and shoots on the trees. I love the bird songs I hear through the cracked window every morning. Each week brings new calls and I try to remember which bird is migrating through. I love when the grass starts to turn green and the peepers start their shrill chorus beyond the creek. We’ll have new fawns before long…little spotty babies hiding in the tall grasses while their mamas feed nearby.
\nI hate March because it’s the month Mr. Virgo died. I remember every day leading up to March 12th…as if it were yesterday. Just like we remember where we were when Kennedy was shot or Princess Diana died or the Twin Towers fell. We remember. Widows remember. Mothers remember. It’s imprinted in our brains forever. We remember what it looked like that day…the weather, the temperature, where we were, what we were doing, what we wore. We remember the moments leading up to the end. And we remember the end. That’s when things start getting fuzzy. That’s when the slide show starts. A picture here. An image there. A feeling.
\nAll it takes is a sound. A smell. The way the sun glints through the window. And you’re there. It’s not bad like it once was. Early on it was brutal. It was too real…too soon…too fresh. Time has smoothed grief like a rushing river smooths the stones in a river bed. Many years ago, I walked Glenwood Canyon for exercise. During the peak of the spring runoff, you could stand on the bike path at the dam above Shoshone Power Station and hear…feel huge boulders being pushed along by the force of the water. You can’t see them, but you know they’re there. You sense the disturbance under the water. That’s how grief is now. I sense the disturbance below the surface, but if you look at me, you probably won’t notice anything different.
\nThere is a scale…like the ones Lady Justice holds in her hand. The March of Spring vs. The March of Grief. The grief side used to be the heaviest and kept me way off balance. Now it’s even. It’s softer…out of focus…but I will always feel that undercurrent of the boulders hitting my soul. ❤️
\n“He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-03-03T02:30:21-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/03/03/as-winter-fades.html", "tags": ["Health","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Growth","Wisdom","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/03/02/sneaky-snake.html", "title": "Sneaky Snake", "content_html": "Psalms 147:3 NLT
![\"Snake\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/7ae2ffa567.jpg\")
“There are sneaky snakes in our midst!”
I have a helpful little app on my iPhone called Moment. It was designed by a guy who realized he was getting sucked into addiction to his smart phone and he didn’t like it. So, without any venture capital, he created this app and it’s doing very well. So well, in fact, he was contacted by the former president of Pinterest who offered him $7M for the app, with the stipulation they work together to try and save an entire generation from being Screen Zombies.
\nIn my Bible study on Thursday night, we finished up Louie Giglio’s Book…Goliath Must Fall. The fifth giant we studied was that of addiction. When we think of addiction, our minds go to the obvious ones…drugs, alcohol, porn. Down the line we might think…shopping, relationships, food. While Louie did touch on those, he took it in a direction I wasn’t really expecting. He went for my iPhone. gasp
\nMy phone and I are in a close, personal relationship. I’ve had a smartphone ever since that day I stood in line for six hours to buy the very first iPhone, only to have the lady in front of me get the last one they had in stock! I actually had to
\nW-A-I-T
\nOne whole week before my journey to the dark side could begin. Oh…how amazing it all was. I remember when I bought our first personal computer. I justified it to Hubby #2 by saying our daughter needed it for school. But, it was clearly MY baby. The tech guy told me there would come a day when a computer 1,000 times more powerful that this one would be small enough to fit in a woman’s handbag. And now…here it was. A slick little handheld device with the world at my fingertips.
\nI’m here to admit…I’m addi….I’m addic….I use my phone…A LOT! I like to attribute a lot of that to my writing. And I’m sure that’s true. As I write my posts on my blog, I pick up my phone repeatedly to look things up, check the dictionary or Thesaurus, find and edit a photo. I browse the news two to three times a day. I check the obits. (Yes, I’m THAT age.) I send and receive texts multiple times a day. I seldom use it for…you know…making phone calls. I don’t browse Pinterest like I used to. I do post Tweets and Instagram photos for my blog’s social media accounts. Other than my blog, I spend far less time on Facebook than I used to.
\nThere are two places I do spend a good amount of time. One is a word puzzle app called Word Crossy. I downloaded it after the neurologist recommended I do word games to help with my memory after the subdural hematoma I received in the car accident two years ago. I am happy to say, it has really helped. The other place I spend a good deal of time in is the YouVersion Bible app. I am currently doing The One Year Bible plan. I also read shorter Bible study plans alongside…sometimes with members of our small group. I read the Bible first thing in the morning and last thing at night. I also study as I search for scriptures to put in my posts.
\nAn addiction is defined as the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, as narcotics, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma.
\nUh-oh.
\nTry to take my phone…I dare ya!
\nTo make myself feel better…or at least to enlighten me as to what LEVEL my electronic addiction has reached, I downloaded the Moment app. I am not at all surprised at the amount of screen time I racked up in the past week. You will be shocked, I am sure. I picked up my phone 165 times in the last week. I had 31h8m of screen time. I wrote 8-12 hours a day last week and, like I said…I use my phone a ton when I write. I just activated the feature that monitors what apps use up most of your screen time. As of last August, most people use Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, WhatsApp, and Snapchat…in that order. It will be interesting to see where most of my time is spent.
\nAddictions. They are sneaky little snakes that wind their way into and around our lives…stealing our time, stealing our joy, stealing God’s glory. This is a giant that MUST fall. ❤️
\n“You say, “I am allowed to do anything”—but not everything is good for you. And even though “I am allowed to do anything,” I must not become a slave to anything.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-03-02T07:27:55-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/03/02/sneaky-snake.html", "tags": ["Health","Overcoming Obstacles","Growth","Wisdom","Presence","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/02/28/expect-the-unexpected.html", "title": "Expect the Unexpected", "content_html": "1 Corinthians 6:12 NLT
![\"Red](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/f2dd7b69fa.jpg\")
“Unexpected things can be really, really good…or really, really bad. Anxiety can stem from the unexpected.”
My last small group gathering of the winter session is tonight. We’ve been studying Louie Giglio’s book…Goliath Must Fall. It is truly an amazing, insightful look into the giants we all face in life and how to get rid of them…once and for all. I hate to see this series end. I would like to do it all over again. At least I bought the book as well as the study guide, so I plan to read it again and again. I even have friends buying it and we can discuss it.
\nOur next season starts in April. We will be studying “Unexpected” by Christine Caine. The subtitle is “Leave Fear Behind, Move Forward in Faith, Embrace the Adventure”. Oooooooh, I love the sounds of that! I received the book and the study guide yesterday and it’s all I can do to keep from cracking it open already, but I want to keep my head in the game and finish what I started with Louie’s book first.
\nSeeing the title of the book yesterday did get my mind to thinking. Unexpected. That’s a double edged sword, isn’t it? I mean, we generally LOVE unexpected surprises…if they’re good. A baby is coming to a couple who thought they couldn’t get pregnant. An award is given for a job well done. A refund check comes when we were expecting to have to pay more. These are all the GOOD kinds of unexpected things we don’t mind hearing about.
\nWhat happens when the unexpected isn’t good? There is a miscarriage…a heart attack…an accident. Once that happens to you, you are hypersensitive. Hyper-vigilant. Over reactive. When my ex-husband found me after the overdose, it took years for him to be able to see me without having a rush of anxiety. Daughter #2 went through a very difficult period in her life when she would call me…frequently crying hysterically. I was going through my own issues dealing with grief. Her anxiety would set off my anxiety to the point when I saw her name on Caller ID, my heart would start pounding and my hands would sweat.
\nAnticipatory anxiety can come from having experienced the unexpected in a traumatic way. Mr. Virgo complained of shoulder pain two days before he died of a sudden heart attack. The other day, Mr. FixIt was complaining of his shoulder hurting and my heart started pounding and my hands started sweating. He looked at me and knew what was going through my mind. He knows me well. He immediately came to me, wrapped his arms around me and said, “It’s just my arthritis, honey. I’m fine…really.”
\nI don’t want to say “I can’t do that again.” Because, we do not know what the future holds and he deserves to have me right there beside him, supporting him, no matter what happens in life. So where do I put that misplaced anxiety? I ask God to take it.
\n“Lord, I need you to take this away from me. I know this is just a reaction caused by something that happened before. But it feels real and I need to focus on _____ right now, not anxiety.”
\nAnxiety is a giant that can control our lives. I learned in Louie’s book that Jesus already killed that giant. It’s dead and gone. I’m working on it. I’d love to say I read this book and did the study and watched the videos and now anxiety is a thing of my past. But I’ve been dealing with this since I was in second grade. That’s a whole boatload of years. Whether it is a medical condition or a conditioned response doesn’t matter…it feels real. I will say though, it’s much improved since studying Goliath Must Fall.
\nUnexpected things will always happen…good AND bad. I just have to remember to pray and hand it all over. ❤️
\n“But when I am afraid, I will put my trust in you.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-02-28T02:30:24-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/02/28/expect-the-unexpected.html", "tags": ["Faith","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Growth","Wisdom","Fear","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/02/27/writing-and-praying.html", "title": "Writing and Praying", "content_html": "Psalms 56:3 NLT
![\"Praying](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/ee2361d011.jpg\")
“Prayers, Praises, and Persistence”
I was a little worried when I went out to TOW-Wanda yesterday morning. Were the words going to come? Or was I going to hit another roadblock like I did Monday? I gathered my gear, grabbed my coffee, kissed Mr. FixIt, and headed to “the office”.
\nOnce the furnace was on, I slipped out of my shoes and climbed into my little writing nook. I took a few moments to gather my thoughts and figure out a plan of action. Holding the warm coffee between my hands, I closed my eyes and prayed.
\n“Lord, thank you for all these words you’ve been sending me. Thank you for this comfortable place to write in and call my own. Thank you for trusting me to be your hands. Lord, I’m not sure what happened yesterday. My friend Gail says you were just giving me a day of rest. Whatever it was, Lord…please make me a vessel. Use me in whatever way you can. I promise I’ll do what you say. Amen”
\nI sipped my coffee and was about to open the document app and resume writing the book when I felt the nudge.
\n“Find your verse.”
\nThis is something I do when I want to hear personally from God. When I’m having a specific issue, I ask God to help me find my verse…the one he speaks through. If I have my bible, i just open it to the spot that feels right, close my eyes, and point. That is my verse, and 99.9% of the time, it speaks to me directly regarding whatever issue it is I’m dealing with. I can do the same thing with the app.
\nWhen I opened my app yesterday, chose a book, then chose a chapter, the Parable of the Persistent Widow came up. I kid you not. I took one look at it and laughed with glee.
\n“Awwww, Jesus…you are SO good. Would you look at that? How do you expect people to believe this?”
\nIt’s true. The parable was told to the Disciples to remind them to pray and to never give up. You can’t make this stuff up…he answered me right there. So, I prayed again.
\n“Ok, Lord…here I am praying and I’m never going to give up. I just feel like I’m supposed to be going somewhere with this book but I’ve lost my direction. I’m giving it back to you. Guide me where you want this to go.”
\nJust then a dear friend texted me and asked me to give her a call. She said, “I just want to tell you how proud I am of you. You’ve been talking with God. AND…you’ve also been listening to the Holy Spirit as he guides you through your book. You’re doing a great job. Keep it up!”
\nSometimes I wonder if other people can hear my chin hit the floor as much as I can. Not only did he send me a scripture saying “Keep praying! Never give up!” He nudged a friend to reach out and say, “You’re doing a great job. Thanks for listening to the Holy Spirit!” Hokey smokes!
\nI scrolled back and found the exact spot where I went off the rails. I highlighted the words from that point to the end, cut, and pasted them into a new document I entitled “Extras” and saved it. I’m not going to throw those 12,000 words. They may come in handy in another book. I’m back to 52,422 words with a goal of 60,000 to 80,000. I also have a Mission Statement for my book so I know more specifically what to ask for.
\nI don’t want to overwhelm you with God stories each and every day. There are days when other topics seep in, but even then, the underlying story is how God works into it. I also know the timbre of my writing has changed. But, when something so profound gets set down on a platter in front of me, how can I NOT share that? I still shake my head when things like this happen, even though I absolutely KNOW where it comes from. So, here’s my Worship Wednesday post! ❤️
\n“One day Jesus told his disciples a story to show that they should always pray and never give up. “There was a judge in a certain city,” he said, “who neither feared God nor cared about people. A widow of that city came to him repeatedly, saying, ‘Give me justice in this dispute with my enemy.’ The judge ignored her for a while, but finally he said to himself, ‘I don’t fear God or care about people, but this woman is driving me crazy. I’m going to see that she gets justice, because she is wearing me out with her constant requests!’” Then the Lord said, “Learn a lesson from this unjust judge. Even he rendered a just decision in the end. So don’t you think God will surely give justice to his chosen people who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? I tell you, he will grant justice to them quickly! But when the Son of Man returns, how many will he find on the earth who have faith?””\n\n \n", "date_published": "2019-02-27T02:30:39-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/02/27/writing-and-praying.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","God","Wisdom","Courage","Presence","Writing","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/02/26/go-with-the-flow.html", "title": "Go With the Flow", "content_html": "Luke 18:1-8 NLT
![\"Go](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/43f57cada3.jpg\")
“When the words don’t come, you have to go with the flow.”
I took Saturday and Sunday off from writing, other than my usual daily blog post. I didn’t get home from town till around 3:00 Saturday afternoon and I decided to give the rest of the day to my sweetheart. Sunday was church with the family and we weren’t back home till late and with the power outage, I needed to focus on keeping the generator running while Mr. FixIt was bowling.
\nI got up early yesterday, grabbed my coffee and headed out to my “office”…aka TOW-Wanda. I sat down and looked at my screen. I wrote about 1200 words, but I wasn’t feeling them. What was wrong? I sat and stared out the window. Two buzzards circled above the yard. Perhaps searching for carrion along the roadside. The sun was bright and totally belied the freezing temperature. The furnace blasted out warm air as I snuggled under my favorite camper blanket.
\nWhat was wrong with me? I’ve been writing prolifically for the past three weeks. Suddenly, I hit a road block. I picked up my phone and looked at the calendar. That can sometimes bring up a memory that’s lurking around the edges of my mind. Ahhhh…Monday. I had to be at the funeral home at 1:00. They were laying my coffee mate’s husband to rest. I hate funerals. I’ve been writing about Mr. Virgo’s funeral. I’ve been at the funeral home twice in a week. I pushed my iPad away and leaned back on my stack of pillows and took my mind through the process I have to go through since Mr. Virgo died.
\nThis isn’t your pain.
\nYour husband didn’t die this week.
\nYou aren’t laying him in the ground.
\nYou don’t have to say goodbye again and again and again.
\nYour role here is to support your friend.
\nI sighed and tucked my writing tools in my big blue bag. There would be no writing this day. That’s ok. It’s important to be flexible…change course when the moment insists…to go with the flow. You can’t force something like writing or your reader will know in a heartbeat. Just because it didn’t flow in that moment, doesn’t mean the supply is gone. It just means someone else needed my heart for a while. ❤️
\n“And now, dear brothers and sisters, we want you to know what will happen to the believers who have died so you will not grieve like people who have no hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and was raised to life again, we also believe that when Jesus returns, God will bring back with him the believers who have died. We tell you this directly from the Lord: We who are still living when the Lord returns will not meet him ahead of those who have died. For the Lord himself will come down from heaven with a commanding shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trumpet call of God. First, the believers who have died will rise from their graves. Then, together with them, we who are still alive and remain on the earth will be caught up in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. Then we will be with the Lord forever. So encourage each other with these words.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-02-26T02:30:56-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/02/26/go-with-the-flow.html", "tags": ["Faith","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Hope","Positive Energy","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Peace","Wisdom","Presence"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/02/23/i-have-a-voice.html", "title": "“I Have a Voice”", "content_html": "1 Thessalonians 4:13-18 NLT
![\"Woodcarving\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/566f4de725.jpg\")
“I Have a Voice” woodcarving by Evelyn Jimenez
I have met some of the nicest people through my blog. One is a widow named Evelyn. She became very ill after losing her husband and very nearly died herself. Evelyn is a woodcarver, which I find endlessly fascinating. I’ve tried my hand at carving but I haven’t had the right tools for the job. I really would love to try again sometime…in my SPARE time. sigh
\nA few weeks ago, I saw a little faceless woman she carved and titled, “I Have a Voice”. This little round woman struck my heart. I went for a very long time in my life without a voice. I felt like the faceless woman, being told I wasn’t good enough or I was stupid or I was too fat. When you hear these things over and over and over from someone who is supposed to love you, you soon come to believe them as true.
\nI wanted my own little faceless woman to remind me that I am no longer without a voice. I wanted to remember that time when I was without a face so that I might recognize other faceless women. Instead of making me sad when I see her dejected little hands stuffed in her pockets, I smile because she might just be hiding cupcakes in there.
\nAnd…I know. I know she has a voice in there. I know because I had a voice inside…even when it was stifled. We can always say “I wish I would have known then what I know now.” For me it’s more like “I wish I would have known then WHO I know now.” I think if I’d known then how much God loved me, I would have loved myself more. And, if I’d loved myself more, I wouldn’t have allowed myself to be treated so poorly…even as a young child. Hindsight is 20/20. The best thing I can do now is mentor young women and make sure they know they are precious and loved and deserving. ❤️
\n“The desert and the parched land will be glad; the wilderness will rejoice and blossom. Like the crocus, it will burst into bloom; it will rejoice greatly and shout for joy. The glory of Lebanon will be given to it, the splendor of Carmel and Sharon; they will see the glory of the Lord, the splendor of our God.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-02-23T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/02/23/i-have-a-voice.html", "tags": ["Faith","Health","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Fear","Forgiveness","Courage","Presence","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/02/20/new-kicks.html", "title": "New Kicks!", "content_html": "Isaiah 35:1-2 NIV
![\"Brooks](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/b3c219c5e6.jpg\")
“It pays to buy quality shoes!”
For about the last six months or so, I’ve noticed a pain in the ball of my left foot, near the base between my third and fourth toe. It feels like what we used to call a stone bruise. I rely on walking as my main exercise but this has become decidedly uncomfortable. I know I haven’t been wearing the right shoes this winter…mainly out of laziness. I just grab the quickest slip-ons and I know they don’t provide the proper support.
\nYesterday was our appointment with the chiropractor. I really look forward to seeing her once a month. Ever since my accident two years ago, I have seen her with regularity. She thinks I have a Morton’s neuroma. I strongly suggest if someone thinks you have something, don’t Google it. You’ll find out things you wish you didn’t know like treatments and recurrence and surgeries and…yuck. She suggested I get better walking shoes.
\nMy cousin’s wife texted yesterday and asked what I was up to.
\n“Heading to the mall to buy new WALKING SHOES!!!”
\n“Great! Get Brooks…they saved my feet!”
\n“?$$$”
\n“Yeah…but well worth it!!!”
\nI’m all about the cheap stuff, except when it comes to shoes. My feet have to carry me wherever I want to go. So, I’m willing to spend more for good quality shoes.
\nI stepped into one of those budget shoe stores first. No Brooks…no surprise. I stuck my hand in several pair and pressed on the material cushioning the ball of the foot. No go. They all felt like they had nothing but the 1/8th inch foam insole. That’s how I got in this problem in the first place.
\nI went on down the mall to the new sport clothing store. They didn’t have Brooks either. They had more running shoes than anything else and they don’t offer the comfort and support I was looking for either.
\nMy next stop was Finish Line, a fitness and sporting shoe specialty store. They had Brooks! But, man…they were pricey! Still, I know my cousin’s wife has trouble with her feet and if she says Brooks saved her feet, I was going to try them. I asked for two different styles with different price points. Wow! The moment I put on the first pair, the pain eased significantly. They felt like I was walking on clouds. You know that feeling when you find the perfect shoe.
\nI vacillated. I hated to spend three figures on a pair of shoes. Yet, these felt wonderful. In the end, I bought the shoes. If you buy cheap shoes, you’ll be buying them repeatedly over the years. The last pair of good walking shoes I bought have lasted me four years. I bought these for $136. There’s no reason to believe these won’t also last four years and if they do, that’s $34 a year. I’m good with that.
\nWe walked a few laps to test them out, then headed home. Mr. FixIt cleaned out the gutters in preparation for the huge rainstorm we are supposed to get over the next 36 hours or so. I tucked into TOW-Wanda and wrote till dusk. After supper, I wrote for another three hours.
\n43,148 words! ?❤️
\n“For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-02-20T02:30:17-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/02/20/new-kicks.html", "tags": ["Health","Overcoming Obstacles","Gratitude","Comfort","Wisdom","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/02/19/when-grief-calls.html", "title": "When Grief Calls", "content_html": "1 Timothy 6:7-8 NIV
![\"Grief\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/1bb12f50d0.jpg\")
“When grief calls, I’ve learned to listen.”
This past Sunday, our pastor spoke about “doing” the Word as well as ‘hearing’ the Word. He talked about how we become overweight Christians by coming to church and filling up on the Word without working it out. God gave the Word to us to not only fill us up, but to go out and DO it.
\nThis got me to thinking about what I “do” with what I’m given. My answer is…this. I write to you. I sit down with you for a little chat. You are so kind as to invite me into your space to share coffee or to rock on the porch or to hold your hand for a little while. Sometimes, you let me talk about Jesus and how he has changed my life. Sometimes, you laugh at my antics when I lock myself out of TOW-Wanda or I misunderstand something Mr. FixIt says.
\nBut, most of all, you let me hold your heart a little while. You let me share how broken mine was. You let me share hope…for healing, for a brighter tomorrow, for a time when you won’t cry quite as much. You let me share love…for a man who left too early, for a man who came so unexpectedly, for a Man who was both God AND Man. You let me share courage…to face the future without your person, to face uncertainty about finances, to just weather the storm.
\nWhen I went to the late service Sunday night, they had the Prayer Team at the front for an alter call. I watched as we continued to sing and worship, and my eyes rested on the leader of our small group. I wondered…who prays for the pray-ers? I went up to her after the service and said, “The Holy Spirit put it on my heart to pray for you tonight.” We went to the side wall and I held her hand and I thanked God for bringing this mighty Prayer Warrior into my life. I asked him to bless her and anoint her words when she helps to lead others in prayer.
\nThe point of all this is…this. THIS. This blog is a big part of my “purpose”. We all have a purpose. Something we were put on this earth to do. Mine was to help widows and others who have lost their special ones. I did this yesterday by writing another 5,656 words for a total of 36,216 towards the completion of my book. All in the last eleven days…with three days off. I’ve never experienced this sheer volume of writing before. At this rate, I’ll be done in less than three weeks. Then, what on earth will I do with my time? Oh….camp, build things, help people heal, start on Book #2! You never know what I’ll be up to next! ❤️
\n“I cry out to God Most High, to God who fulfills his purpose for me.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-02-19T02:30:21-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/02/19/when-grief-calls.html", "tags": ["Faith","Health","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","God","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/02/18/memories.html", "title": "Memories", "content_html": "Psalms 57:2 ESV
\n\n
“so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith; if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully.”
\nRomans 12:5-8 NIV
![\"Mother](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/7dcdf3348d.jpg\")
“Mother Earth News was my manual for a good life.”
Daughter #1 texted me this photo yesterday of Mother Earth News magazine. She said “I didn’t know they still published this.” I looked at the text and smiled. It hit my “mom feels” for a number of reasons.
\nFirst, because I just wrote in my book the other day about a time when the Mother Earth News magazine was a huge part of my life. Second, because she remembered it. And lastly….she is a very busy adult, teaches full time and moms my two beautiful granddaughters and lives in Colorado…we don’t get to share moments like this very often.
\nI was a frustrated farm girl in the big city of Denver while my husband was in medical school. I read Mother Earth News like an instruction manual for life. I baked our bread, made homemade granola, yogurt, and even tofu. I canned fruits and vegetables, made jams, jellies, relishes and pickles. I would have raised chickens if city ordinances would have allowed it back then. When we bought our first home on two acres, I set out to make it a little farm. That didn’t really work out so well because of the semi-arid climate. But I certainly had fun trying.
\nThe fact that my daughter remembered my penchant for this magazine just tickled me to no end for some reason. It helped me reach back across time to her youth. It was a hundred lifetimes ago…and it was just yesterday. It’s the simple things that bring the most joy, isn’t it? ❤️
\n“Also take with you every sort of food that is eaten, and store it up. It shall serve as food for you and for them.\"”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-02-18T02:30:54-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/02/18/memories.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Positive Energy","Gratitude","Peace","Wisdom","Peaceful Moments","Choices","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/02/17/another-peaceful-day.html", "title": "Another Peaceful Day", "content_html": "Genesis 6:21 ESV
![\"Deer](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/99ad6300be.jpg\")
“Deer grazing outside my window in TOW-Wanda.”
I have now spent eight out of the last ten days in TOW-Wanda and I have to tell you…I feel like a million bucks! Usually by this time of year, I’m ready to pull my hair out with boredom. I usually become less content with each passing day, even though the daylight is becoming longer…the long, dark nights shorter. The only two things I have done differently this year is leave the tree up and spend long hours in my camper.
\nThere is a reason girl campers like their little houses on wheels. They offer us a safe sanctuary in which to create. Some of us haul our sewing machines out to the camper in the fall and sit out there happily sewing quilts, clothes for the grandkids, linens for the home, gifts for family and friends. Some knit and crochet, weaving prayers and stories into their creations. Some cross-stitch or needlepoint, creating marvelous pictures from colorful threads.
\nSome gather friends to join us for tea or drinks, showing off our fancy little playhouses. Some have sleepovers with the grandchildren, bringing up the next generation to adore our little campers in the same way we have. There are as many different varieties of girl campers as there are travel trailers and we celebrate each and every one of them every time we tow.
\nMe? Well, as you well know…and I’ve told you repeatedly this week…I write in TOW-Wanda every chance I get. I turn on Pandora, find the Nature Sounds channel, and listen to raucous rainstorms, salient sea breezes, flighty feathered friends chirping in the forests. I’m instantly transported from the chill of wintery West Virginia into another place, another time. My little twinkle lights glow above me…the view out the windows revealing a stoic blue heron near the creek or a browsing herd of deer making their way across the lawn. Yesterday, I watched the moonrise over the hills to the east of the Ponderosa and I counted my blessings in that very moment.
\nI’ve written 30,560 words on my book as of last evening. Words that take me to corners of my mind I sometimes wish were never there. And to places and times that I cherish dearly. These words stir something in me…always. But they are just feelings now. They aren’t happening in this moment. That’s how I keep them from poking me now with little barbs…trolls with sharp sticks…fairies with tiny wands…giants with hammers. They aren’t happening now and God is bigger than any poking thing in our lives.
\n30,560….encouraging words, painful words, funny words, sad words, terrifying words, loving words. This thing is happening! ❤️
\n“A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-02-17T02:30:01-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/02/17/another-peaceful-day.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Positive Energy","TOW-Wanda!","Fun","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","goRVing","Grace","God","Wisdom","Courage","Humbled","Presence","Peaceful Moments","Girl Camper","Girl Campers","Writing","Choices","Change","Art"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/02/16/verbosity.html", "title": "Verbosity", "content_html": "Proverbs 15:4 ESV
![\"Keyboard\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/c0127c9aeb.jpg\")
“I’ve typed over 25,000 in seven days, not including my blog posts. Crazy!”I fixed my coffee and stepped into TOW-Wanda at around 10:00 yesterday morning. By 4:30, with only one short break, I had over 25,000 words written over the course of seven writing days. I think that’s got to be some sort of record! For me, anyway.
\nIt made me curious…what is the average word count for authors? Turns out, Google knows everything. Ernest Hemingway churned out 500 to 1000 words per day. Stephen King claims he types upwards of 2000 words per day. One thousand words per day is the average for bloggers. Twenty-five thousand words in a week isn’t counting the blog. Holy cats!
\nA memoir, or autobiography, is in the same category as a novel and should be between 80,000 and 89,000 words. It’s important to keep track of your word counts. Too few words and you aren’t giving your readers enough. Two many, and you’re trying to emulate War & Peace and it’s snoozeville. Anything over 100,000 is more expensive for a publisher to produce so it’s important to try to land somewhere in these guidelines.
\nSo, I’m at 25,000 words. If I can continue at the current rate, I could have the rough draft done in less than a month. That would be awesome. Thanks for hanging in there with me! I’ll be back out there today. My plan is to just take Sundays off. ❤️
\n“\"Have you understood all these things?\" They said to him, \"Yes.\" And he said to them, \"Therefore every scribe who has been trained for the kingdom of heaven is like a master of a house, who brings out of his treasure what is new and what is old.\"”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-02-16T02:30:18-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/02/16/verbosity.html", "tags": ["Faith","Positive Energy","TOW-Wanda!","Fun","Growth","Gratitude","God","Wisdom","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/02/15/the-hazards-of-writing.html", "title": "The Hazards of Writing", "content_html": "Matthew 13:51-52 ESV
![\"Writing](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/7239a86a12.jpg\")
“When I write a ton, I have a tendency to forget who I told what to. It’s an occupational hazard.”
I’m knee deep in writing this book now. All week, I have gathered my coffee and my writing gear and headed out to “the office”…my wonderful little home on wheels…TOW-Wanda. I turn on the furnace and curl up on the day bed, cover up, and sip coffee till it warms up enough to concentrate. When I shut it down at 3:00 yesterday afternoon, I had 20, 534 words written. It’s amazing!
\nThis is in addition to writing my blog post every day and normal communications with people via text, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and e-mail. Whew! There are a ton of words flowing out of these fingers and I’m literally typing as fast as I can. The downside of all that is…I cant remember who I’ve told what to. Did I type that in a tweet yesterday or text it to my friends Janine and Gayle this morning? Was that story in my blog last week or was I telling someone about that when I saw them yesterday? It’s partially age. It’s partially multiple head injuries and the subdural hematoma I received when my truck was totaled two years ago. It’s partially the brain fog of grief still affecting me. And, it has a lot to do with the sheer volume of words that I write.
\nI know I’ve told you this week that writing the book this time is totally different, but I’m going to tell you again…because it amazes me. When the words flow like this, it’s magic. Time and space disappear. It’s a cross between watching a movie and writing what I see, and typing out dictation. I know it sounds trite to tell you the words don’t even seem to come from me. I know sheer repetition over the years has honed my writing skills, but still…I’ll read something I write and think, “Wow, that’s pretty good. I wish I could write that well!” It’s both intriguing and disconcerting to feel so disconnected from the process and still have it turn out ok.
\nI know I told you it’s easier emotionally this time, but I’ll elaborate on that. Yes, it’s easier in that it doesn’t feel like I’m ripping my heart out of my chest to write this time. However, I’m finding my level of discomfort varies with the topic of the day. I wrote something about anxiety the other day, and that night I felt anxiety rise up in me about something. I haven’t felt true anxiety for quite some time so I can only attribute it to the writing because nothing else has changed. Yesterday I wrote about an episode of childhood sexual abuse and I could feel the prickles of adrenaline running up the back of my arms. I was writing about hard stuff and my body was feeling it.
\nIt’s ok to feel these things. If I am so disconnected from the emotions of the experience, my writing would be flat. It’s a thin line between feeling the feels and having my heart ripped out of my chest. I’ve been praying that God will help me say what he wants me to say, and to give me just enough juice to feel it. He is a good and compassionate Father and he is walking me through this every day. I feel his presence when I work. I am grateful for that.
\nWe had bible study last night. We are still working our way through Goliath Must Fall by Louie Giglio and last night we covered the chapter on Comfort. The Giant of Comfort isn’t those times we take a break and go on vacation or when we have really great furniture that cradles our bodies. The kind of comfort Louie is talking about is complacency. When we do just enough to get by. He said we are closer to God when we are are experiencing discomfort. In other words, when we are out of our comfort zones. When we expand and reach and push ourselves to do something we really feel God is telling us to do, but it’s not something we are necessarily excited about doing. But we do it anyway. that’s letting the Giant of Comfort fall. I feel like that’s what I’m doing with my writing. Sometimes I write things that literally make me squirm. They aren’t always comfortable to talk about. I just truly feel like I’m doing what God has called me to do and he tells me to be honest. There’s very little I hold back here, much to the dismay of some of my friends.
\nAnyway, I just wanted to say, if I start repeating myself too much, someone give me a holler, will ya? Cause there’s only so much I can keep in this little brain when I’m writing this much. ❤️
\n“do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.”\n\n \n", "date_published": "2019-02-15T02:30:42-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/02/15/the-hazards-of-writing.html", "tags": ["Faith","TOW-Wanda!","Growth","Comfort","God","Wisdom","Courage","Peaceful Moments","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/02/14/on-lovingunconditionally.html", "title": "On Loving...Unconditionally", "content_html": "Philippians 4:6 ESV
![\"A](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/b684a7cb67.jpg\")
“I am a Christian AND I love everyone… unconditionally.”
The other day, a West Virginia delegate made a series of ugly and disparaging comments about the LGBTQ community. He compared them to terrorists and the Ku Klux Klan. He was interviewed later and given an opportunity to clarify his position, and it was actually SO much worse than what was originally reported. When asked what he would do if his son or daughter came home and told him they were gay, the delegate said if it was his daughter, he would take her for a pedicure. If it was his son, he would take him hunting. And if, upon their return, they still said they were gay…he would take them out and “see if they could swim”. The interviewer was aghast and asked, “Are you saying, you would take them out and try to drown them???” He just looked at her with a sinister grin and didn’t answer.
\nI was sickened, on so many levels. First and foremost, that he has this kind of hatred in his heart and calls himself a Christian. Second, that he would turn away from his children, or worse…do them physical harm. And, finally…it HAD to be a West Virginian. Why did he have to come from MY state? The answer is, because there are people like him in every state.
\nHere of late, I have been so uplifted and fortified by my faith, I have been shouting “Hallelujah!” from the rooftops. And that’s how I feel…excited by the ways I see God move in my life. Excited about the opportunities to share my stories of his love and provenance. Then, this week…I received this wedding invitation. And I was reminded, I may be giving people the wrong idea about who I am in my faith.
\nSome people may equate my bold Christian joy with the kind of person who denigrates those who are unlike them, like that delegate from West Virginia. Nothing could be further from the truth. I do not discriminate against anyone. I’m not perfect, but I certainly try to emulate Jesus at every turn. He loves everyone. He does not see people from the outside. He looks at their hearts. After raising my daughters in the Jewish faith, I was appalled when Daughter #2 came home from school crying because the kids called her a “stupid f****** Jew”. I held her close and tried to explain ignorance and intolerance and bigotry. It broke my heart.
\nI respect all faiths, save for those who kill people in the name of their god. I respect all people, save for those who kill or maim or injure children or animals. When I raise my voice in praise for Jesus, I don’t want it to exclude my love for others who don’t believe as I do. I don’t want to walk ahead of and ignore the one who is still looking for God. I don’t want the Muslims and the Jews and the Seiks and the Hindus and even the atheists…anyone of any faith…to think I do not love them equally. I look for, and see, the God in all people. That divine spark that comes from somewhere far beyond the stars. That sign of something far greater than any of us here.
\nI also embrace the LGBTQ community as my fellow human beings, who house that same divine spark as me. It is not my place to judge anyone…not even that delegate from West Virginia. Everyone will be judged by their maker in the end. It’s not my job. At the same time, I’m going to tell you about this amazing Jesus who rules my life. And, I’m going to show you, as best I can by the way that I live, how a good and loving and forgiving Father has changed me. The two can, and in my humble opinion SHOULD walk hand in hand.
\nBecause, you see…that wedding invitation we got in the mail this week? That’s from Daughter #2 and her fiancée…a very kind and loving woman who has helped my baby become a better version of herself. They are getting married in Colorado in August. They love each other completely… unconditionally. How can I not do the same with both of them? This is my child. We love who we love. It is not my place to judge. You may do what you wish, but I do pray I will always, always, always land on the side of love. Because that is the way Jesus loves me.
\n***If you don’t agree with me, that’s ok…I won’t judge you either. I know this is a hot topic for some, but this is my house, my rules. We speak with respect here. This is a case where we’ll take my grandma’s advise…”If we can’t say anything nice, we won’t say anything at all.” ❤️
\n“As for the one who is weak in faith, welcome him, but not to quarrel over opinions. One person believes he may eat anything, while the weak person eats only vegetables. Let not the one who eats despise the one who abstains, and let not the one who abstains pass judgment on the one who eats, for God has welcomed him. Who are you to pass judgment on the servant of another? It is before his own master that he stands or falls. And he will be upheld, for the Lord is able to make him stand.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-02-14T02:30:27-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/02/14/on-lovingunconditionally.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Hope","Positive Energy","Fun","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Choices","Be Joyful!","Marriage","Wedding"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/02/11/a-marshmallow-day.html", "title": "A Marshmallow Day", "content_html": "Romans 14:1-4 ESV
![\"Hot](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/50555e9dbd.jpg\")
“Cold, grey days are Marshmallow Days!”
I got home safe and sound yesterday just in time to leave for church. The tree that had fallen across the road the night before was cut up and moved from the roadway. The same scenario is being repeated over the entire region with the thaw and soaking rains causing the ground to soften. All it takes is a little gust of wind and trees topple easily.
\nWe have thoroughly enjoyed church the last couple of weeks with Mr. FixIt’s daughter and family joining us. I can’t tell you how wonderful it feels to take up seven seats in a row. My heart is overflowing.
\nOur pastor spoke on criticism yesterday. Good criticism comes from a place of love, and even though it stings, it is meant to lift us up. We all have suffered the other kind of criticism that really isn’t “criticism” at all. It’s self-serving and mean spirited and is critical. There’s nothing about love in that. Pastor Justin’s premise was…don’t let them in. Don’t listen to that.
\nThere is a difference between criticism and someone who is merely expressing an opinion and it might be difficult to discern that at times. The other day, someone I care about and whose opinion I value very much sent me a private message. In it, she said my writing has changed. I have become more “evangelical” than she likes on a daily basis. My very first thought was “sting”. Immediately followed by “that’s ok. I still love you.”
\nSince then, lots of things have gone through my mind. Am I coming on too strong and driving people away? Have I crossed the line into “Crazy Christian Lady who can’t talk about anything but Jesus?” I wanted to apologize. Then I decided…I really can’t. I write what comes to me. I write from my heart. And I am always brutally honest about my feelings and what I share.
\nSome people lose touch with God when they lose their special person. They can’t understand how a loving God could make someone suffer with cancer. Or they prayed for healing and it didn’t come. Or, any number of other reasons. For me…my faith has deepened tremendously since Mr. Virgo died. And especially since I started dating Mr. FixIt. I have never had a relationship that was so “equally yoked”. I’ve never had a partner who came to church with me every Sunday, who holds my hand with his right hand and praises with his left. I’ve never shared late night conversations about God. That alone is enough for me to want to shout from the rooftops.
\nThis is a dark time of year. I talk about what is on my heart. I try not to make every day “Preaching Sunday” but there are only so many ways I can tell you I knitted all afternoon and still make it interesting. And I am infinitely fascinated by the way God works in my life.
\nI am always open to loving criticism. I told my dear friend how much I appreciated her candor. I know my writing has changed. I’VE changed. I’ve grown in many, many ways in the last six years. And I truly hope you’ll hang around with me and keep reading. I’m still going to write what is on my heart, and if it’s Jesus or something he is teaching me, you can rest assured…I’m going to write about it. I’ll write about other stuff too, just to mix it up. But, I’m Jesus’ girl first and foremost…there’s no way I’m going to hide that. ❤️
\n“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”\nEphesians 2:10 NIV\n", "date_published": "2019-02-11T02:30:19-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/02/11/a-marshmallow-day.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Growth","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Choices","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/02/10/saved-again.html", "title": "Saved Again", "content_html": "
![\"Grace](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/98c0b1315b.jpg\")
“Knowing who saves me over and over brings me peace beyond understanding.”
I finished my laundry and packed up the car. I had a last minute conversation with a wonderful woman I met recently. Then I headed home from the farm right about dusk. This photo looks like it was pretty light out, but it was dark, dark, dark when I headed into the home stretch on the two-lane country road. It was so dark, you were right on top of deer before you saw them, even with the brights on. Something ahead of me caught my eye. Not three seconds ahead of me, a big tree fell and crossed both lanes. Fortunately, I was going slow and didn’t need to slam on my brakes. I am well aware I missed this falling on me by the skin of my teeth.
\nI happened to be on the phone with Mr. FixIt when I saw the tree fall. There was no one else on the road. He reminded me to put on my emergency flashers. I sat there for a few minutes as we discussed my course of action. I could wait there for someone to come along and either pull the tree off the road or cut it up and haul it off. Or, I could turn around and go back where I came from. There were two routes available to me. One took me through a long area with no cell service. The other took me across a road that had a number of mudslides this week. Ultimately it would take me clear into town and then I’d have to take the interstate south and back out another two-lane. A long, long drive in the dark and still there were areas with no cell service. I decided the shortest route would be best and I headed back toward the farm, but…when I got there, I had already dodged umpteen deer and for the first time in a long, long time, I was worried about driving in the dark, alone.
\nWhen I got to the farm, I called Mr. FixIt and told him I planned to stay another night and I would be home in plenty of time to go to church. He agreed that was a good plan. That’s when I confessed I was actually worried about driving out here in the dark and I couldn’t understand why. I mean…nothing scares me. Three years ago, I wouldn’t have given this a second thought and would have looked at it as an adventure. But now? Now is different. Now it’s not just me. Now I’m not so foggy, not so careless with my existence. Now there are not only my children and friends who love me. Now there is a man and a bonus family that look to me with love and acceptance. It’s not that my life had no value, but even three years ago, the depth of my grief made it difficult to appreciate the time I had ahead of me…the family I already had that were still here and needed me. I have been awakened in the last two years. Awakened and earnestly appreciative of every precious moment I am given on this side of the grass.
\nMoments after my call to Mr. FixIt, a friend sent me a message that Rt. 5, the alternate route I was preparing to travel, was now closed with a large downed tree. It would be quite some time before that road was cleared. Heavy equipment was being brought in to move the tree off the phone lines. So, it seems my guardian angel was quite busy last evening keeping me from harm. I thanked God all the way to the farm for always caring for me and for the protection he afforded me last night.
\nAnd…over the last three days, I have written six chapters and 10,831 words on my book. I’ve written this book three times, at least. And every time before, it was a struggle. I’d read it and re-read it till I was sick of it and it never really spoke to me. It always seemed to me to come out flat…like I just wasn’t reaching the sweet spot where the story flowed. I’d put it away for months at a time, pick it up, and find the same problems. It wasn’t working. I have finally figured out why.
\nI was approached nearly three years ago by a literary agent who was interested in my writing. We signed a contract for a book. I remember when we were getting acquainted, I told her my writing was faith-based and she suggested perhaps I should use a Christian publisher. She didn’t have those connections. I thought about it for a few moments and said no, it might be good if the book was out in the general populous because it could reach many who perhaps struggle with faith. We moved forward with the contract. In the following three years, two things became apparent to me. One, my social media presence hasn’t grown as fast as I had hoped and two, my faith has deepened and now I know I want a Christian publisher. I think God waited for me to decide to include him in the book before he made it clear which direction to go. And before he opened the floodgates of words.
\nI have struggled for over a year with the decision to part ways from my agent. That dark voice kept whispering, “A bird in the hand, you know.” I finally stopped listening to that voice and paid attention to my gut…my inner God-voice…and send her an e-mail last week expressing my desire to change directions and head for a Christian publisher. She totally understood and felt that was the direction I should go and wished me well. So, now I have no agent, but I have the freedom of knowing I did the right thing and the trust that God will get this book out of me and onto paper.
\nThis time, writing is different. The words are literally falling out of me. I’m typing as fast as I can. Nearly 11,000 words in three days is phenomenal! The biggest difference I notice is, this time it’s not slaying me to write it. I feel the healing of the past three years and I know this is the right time. I’m really excited about that! ❤️
\n“‘Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.’”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-02-10T02:30:54-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/02/10/saved-again.html", "tags": ["Faith","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","West Virginia","The Farm","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","God","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/02/06/i-need-that-joy.html", "title": "I Need That Joy...", "content_html": "Jeremiah 33:3 NIV
![\"Joy](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/f029b30bde.jpg\")
“I Need That Joy…down in my heart!”
I love, love, love the way God works in my life! It’s like an elaborately woven tapestry with bright colors here and dark colors there…never seeing what’s developing in the picture till you get some perspective. That’s when you start to see how this thread that was pulled over here is causing that thread to move over there. And then you see…you really SEE. And you know beyond a shadow of a doubt…it is GOD!
\nCase in point. We were standing in the lobby Sunday waiting for the doors to open and head into church. I was talking with my step-daughter about my blog and how my spiritual walk began to blossom within it. I explained how the enemy really started attacking me when I opened up my heart and started praising God in my writing and adding scripture to my posts. I attended my very first Revival and was baptized in the Spirit which took things to a whole new level. Pastor Matt told us one night to take back our homes and our properties and to banish the enemy from the premises. The next morning, I got Grandma’s old bible from the buffet and walked around the perimeter of the yard, hands outstretched, shouting praises without shame. I informed the enemy he had no dominion over me or my house and I showed him the boundary. It’s one of my favorite stories and it was the first time I had shared it with my bonus family.
\nSoon, we went into the sanctuary and were seated. Pastor Justin gave a wonderful sermon about patience. At one point, he started getting animated and talked about banishing the enemy from our homes and properties. I sat back and smiled and thought, “Here it comes!” He went on to say, “Take your bibles and walk around the perimeter of your property and send the devil packing!” My step-daughter and I whipped around and looked at each other, mouths gaped open, and laughed out loud. I love it when that happens. And when you are attuned, it happens a lot. You just have to pay attention. I was so glad God showed them he was there!
\nI told you earlier this year new things were coming. I still can’t talk about the specifics yet, but I knew there were a couple of associations I had to sever before I could move forward into the new project. I’ve waffled, I have to admit. Because a “bird in the hand is worth two in the bush”, as my grandma used to say. I prayed about it and told God I put all my trust in him and I know he will open the new doors where he wants me to go. I hit “send” on the last e-mail and immediately, Spirit told me to turn on the Christian radio station I was listening to earlier in the day. I did, and the worship song “Joy” by King & Country came on. Now, I’ve never heard that song, but listen carefully to the lyrics and you will hear God saying, “Yes! Things were critical and you made a choice. Now…feel the JOY!”
\nWow…these kinds of things really pump me up! My body was humming like I was plugged into an outlet. And, in all actuality, I was. I was getting recharged by the Holy Spirit. I couldn’t help but feel that “joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart!” More to come down the road as the journey continues. ❤️
\n\n“Clap your hands, all peoples! Shout to God with loud songs of joy!”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-02-06T02:30:12-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/02/06/i-need-that-joy.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/02/05/happy-mind-happy-life.html", "title": "Happy Mind, Happy Life", "content_html": "Psalms 47:1 ESV
![\"Meme\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/2fa7f003ef.jpg\")
“Making the little things count, because the little things add up to be the BIG thing!”
Yesterday was a really great day! First of all…the sun was shining and we had a high of 68 degrees here in West Virginia. A difference of over seventy degrees in three days…and Mr. FixIt has a sore throat. sigh I’m hitting him with Zinc and Vitamin C. And prayers!
\nI met a friend for coffee yesterday at the new Starbucks. Sue is a budding artist and she gifted me a watercolor of a little bluebird. She knows how much I love them. For Christmas, I gave her a pair of socks that I knitted and she wanted to give me something special. I’ve had it sitting near me all day and it’s so sweet.
\nThe other day, when I learned Mr. FixIt’s family was going to join us at church, I made us each a notebook. It has three sections…a planner, a place for prayers and praises, and a section for sermon notes. I’ve always said I was going to take notes during the service and this was the perfect time to prepare.
\nHappy Mind, Happy Life…
\nMy bonus granddaughter and I were talking about that just the other day. We were talking about the images we look at. You can never “unsee” something. And the things we choose to put in front of us for visual consumption changes us. It changes our brains. It changes how we see the world and how we see ourselves. We have to be ever watchful with what we choose to feed our minds because “we are what we eat.”
\nWhen I came in from sitting in the sun yesterday afternoon, I asked Alexa to play Contemporary Christian music. As I picked up my knitting, I let the uplifting music wash over me and fill me with the Joy of the Lord. My heart rose with the swell of the music…my skin still warm from the sun…my spirit still stirred from Sunday’s service. It’s good that we carry that image with us into the week. The image of God and the Word and Love and Fellowship and Goodness and Family. These are the things I choose as my Daily Bread. These are the things that I will fill myself with. ❤️
\n“Like newborn infants, long for the pure spiritual milk, that by it you may grow up into salvation—”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-02-05T02:30:06-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/02/05/happy-mind-happy-life.html", "tags": ["Health","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","West Virginia","Growth","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Humbled","Warning","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/02/03/what-do-you-call-a.html", "title": "What Do You Call A Knit Cap?", "content_html": "1 Peter 2:2 ESV
![\"Toboggan\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/2da2244fe5.jpg\")
“Toboggan. A knit cap, or a sled? Turns out…it’s both!”
The cold weather this week brought lots of images to Facebook and lots of memories of my winters past. One picture in particular reminded me of the drafty old farmhouse Hubby #2 and I lived in when he was doing his internship and residency. It was on a busy street in east Denver, surrounded by newer houses. I learned it was the original farmhouse before the land was sold off and the resulting neighborhood developed around it.
\nThe house was a bungalow type, built of tan brick. It had the original double-hung windows, single pane with the wavy glass of old. A large covered front porch ran the entire width of the house. A large tree sat in the corner of the front yard…a bank lead down to the front sidewalk. The house had only one real bedroom, which we gave to my daughter. We slept on the sunporch at the back of the house.
\nThere was little, if any insulation in that house. A Petit Godin parlor stove sat in the living room. I burned coal when I could get it…much to the neighbor’s dismay. Eventually I resorted to a Kero-Sun stove in the middle of the living room. It heated up the living space to some degree, but I was really afraid to let it burn kerosene all night unattended.
\nWe had no money. I was working full time as an x-ray tech and medical assistant for a busy four doctor clinic about a half mile away, doing my best to support the family while my husband was in training. There were times I had to use my Sears charge card to buy Hickory Farms gift boxes of summer sausage and cheese in order to eat.
\nSomeone posted a picture of frost on the inside of a corner of their house last week and I sent it to my daughter. I asked her if she remembered sleeping in her thick, footie jammies with a toboggan on her head to keep her warm. Some of my friends in Colorado had no idea what I was talking about. How could a sled keep my daughter warm at night?
\nI had to laugh. I grew up calling knit caps “toboggans”. As a matter of fact, when I first moved to Colorado, I couldn’t understand what people were talking about when they talked about taking their toboggan out and riding it in the snow. It took a while before I figured out it was a different kind of sled with a curled front on it. I had never seen one before I moved out west. Somewhere around 1929, the term toboggan (from the French Canadian “tabaganne”) which was indeed a sled. The knit cap became a “toboggan cap” and eventually “cap” was dropped. The word is typically used in the south and the Appalachian mountains.
\nI am the first to admit…I’m a bit of a word snob. When I was growing up, my mom bought me a set of encyclopedias, one a week, as bonuses at the grocery store. I read those, as well as the dictionary, when I ran out of books to read. I love words. They say when you write for public consumption, you should write at about an eighth grade level. I never agreed with that. I think we should all stretch our knowledge and learn new words. As a matter of fact, I have the “Word of the Day” from the dictionary app feed me new words every day. Sometimes I throw them in here just for fun.
\nThere are different words for things in different areas of the country. West Virginia has a lot of colloquial phrases that have me scratching my head sometimes, if not outright gritting my teeth. Mr. FixIt is an educated man, but he a) grew up here and b) worked his entire career in a factory. I sometimes have to ask him what the heck he’s talking about.
\nNot only are there different words, but different pronunciations. English is a quirky language anyway. Add an accent and it can complicate things. Here in West Virginia, you might hear “crick” for creek or “boosh” for bush or “poosh” for push. Roof is often pronounced with a long oooo sound. The one that sets my teeth on edge is “‘fer I kin”….as in, “I need to get the saw fer I kin cut that board.” It stems from old English. “Before I can” originated as “afore I kin” and became the more colloquial “‘fer I kin”. There’s “over yonder”. A “pretty fur piece” has nothing to do with an animal pelt and every thing to do with how far it is to a particular destination.
\nWhat are some words that are pronounced differently where you live? ❤️
\n“Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-02-03T02:30:52-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/02/03/what-do-you-call-a.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Fun","West Virginia","Wisdom","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/02/01/the-giant-of-rejection.html", "title": "The Giant of Rejection", "content_html": "Proverbs 16:24 ESV
![\"Giant](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/56492918c3.jpg\")
“The Giant of Rejection…something I have battled my entire life.”
Last night was our third session in the study series of Goliath Must Fall by Louie Giglio. This has been the most amazing program our Bible study group has done to this point. I’ve been looking forward to this particular session because rejection and it’s cousin, perfectionism, were my constant companions from a very, very young age.
\nEveryone wants to be accepted. We enjoy the approval of others. If you say, “I don’t care what anyone thinks of me!” you can just about guarantee that, at least on some level, you very much DO care. This can stem from the smallest slight…something said casually, in jest, that really hit you and stung. Or it can be very real…your father abandoned the family, you were given up for adoption, you lost a job you loved…even the death of someone near and dear to your heart. The sting of rejection can haunt you all the days of your life.
\nLouie Giglio postulates that you have two schools of thought that separate your thinking on the subject of rejection.
\n“So that.” and “Because.”
\nYou try to act or be a certain way so that people will love/accept/approve of you.
\nYou are who you are because God is who HE is.
\nHe chose you. He CHOSE you. He knew you before you were knitted in the womb of your mother. He knows the number of hairs on your head. You don’t need the approval of others BECAUSE you already have the approval of God. There is nothing you can do to make Him love you any more or any less. Isn’t that amazing???
\nI’ve learned this along the way. I’ve learned to pinpoint where and how my particular train went off the rails. And I know with all logic that what Louie is telling us is true. But practicing it, in all ways? That’s a lifelong project when you have been rejected in a very painful way…especially at a very young age like I was. A sadistic teacher, childhood sexual abuse, and an alcoholic father were the perfect storm that set me on a path to find the love I never felt deserving of. I made great strides in therapy then met Mr. Virgo. That was my first experience of unconditional love. When I lost him, I was crushed…not only by his death, but by the loss of that unconditional love I had waited my whole life for. I didn’t think I could find that again…then Mr. FixIt came along.
\nStill, when I find myself wanting approval, I remind myself. God chose me. He chose ME. The Creator of the Universe knows my name and how many hairs are on my head and still…He chose me. We all love being loved and approved of and accepted. But with the knowledge that God chose us and loves us immeasurably, we can do so in a healthy way. ❤️
\n““Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.””\n\n", "date_published": "2019-02-01T02:30:51-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/02/01/the-giant-of-rejection.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","God","Wisdom","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/01/31/are-we-raising-strong-kids.html", "title": "Are We Raising Strong Kids?", "content_html": "Jeremiah 1:5 NIV
![\"School](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/a057ab960a.jpg\")
“School closings for cold weather…are we raising weak kids by saying it’s too cold outside?”
I can’t decide. Were adults negligent when we were kids and they made us stand in sub-zero weather to wait for the bus…in skirts, no less? Or are they teaching kids to give up when things get hard when they call school off for two days because of cold weather? Seriously, I don’t recall ever hearing of someone dying of hypothermia waiting for the school bus in 1969. Did I like it? Heck no! Did it kill me? Not by a long shot.
\nWe weren’t allowed to wear pants to school back then and, by golly, my mom abided by the rules. I couldn’t wear pants under my skirt even if I swore on a stack of Bibles that I would take them off as soon as I got to school. Rules were rules and that was that. I only had to walk three blocks but sometimes the wait was 20 minutes or more if the roads were bad. It was pretty brutal, but I survived.
\nWe didn’t have money for snow boots. I wore my penny loafers and knee socks. My feet were ice cubes by the time I got to school. The skin on my kneecaps was hard and white. There wasn’t such a thing as puffy ski coats, either. I had a hand-me-down wool coat and a toboggan. Still, I never had frostbite. I was rarely sick.
\nThere was a government official that got some backlash yesterday for suggesting we are teaching kids that we quit when things get hard. More than likely, when these kids grow up, their boss will expect them to show up when it’s cold instead of staying home in their jammies and playing video games all day. I’m inclined to think we’ve become a little too soft in this day and age.
\nGranted…I stay in and knit and drink tea on blustery, cold days. But, I payed my dues. We did go out to the farm yesterday. We needed to check the well pump in the cellar house to make sure it wasn’t in danger of freezing. All the water lines were clear, the heat was on, the gas stove in the bathroom was working perfectly, the cabinet doors were open, and so was the basement door. That allows extra heat from the basement up into the kitchen, helping to keep that side of the house warm. The cellar temperature was actually well above freezing. It is built back into the hillside and is covered by earth on three sides. Just to make doubly sure though, we turned on the trouble light that hangs near the pipes to give a little extra warmth. It was 2 degrees when we got home.
\nHa! I’ve turned into my mother…my grandmother…my great-grandmother. I can just hear my grandma saying, “Why, when I was your age, we had to get up and milk the cows and gather the eggs and feed the hogs before we could head off to school. We had to cut the wood for the cook stove, too! We didn’t have any modern conveniences, and we did just fine. This younger generation doesn’t know how good they have it!” I don’t know…I suppose a windchill factor of -15 is as good a reason as any to call off school. It’s wicked cold out there. Be safe if you have to be out…and kids, use this time to learn something. Look up “global warming”, “climate change”, “how to prevent frostbite” and write a little essay. ❤️
\nEdit: I’m going to step up here and say many of you have made very valid points. This is a very dangerous polar vortex and in thinking back, we certainly did not experience wind chills of -50+ when I was a kid. The weather has changed. The economy has changed. I hadn’t thought of all the factors you, as current and former teachers, have expressed. Polar vortex windchills and trophies for all aren’t the same things. Thank you for enlightening me. That’s why I love this blog. You cheer me on…and you teach me when a I need it.
\n“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.””\n\n", "date_published": "2019-01-31T02:30:47-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/01/31/are-we-raising-strong-kids.html", "tags": ["Health","Overcoming Obstacles","Growth","Wisdom","Courage","Aging","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/01/27/building-up-my-stash.html", "title": "Building up my Stash", "content_html": "Joshua 1:9 NIV
![\"Hand-knit](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/277709f330.jpg\")
“Eighteen hand-knit cotton dishclothes are perfect for impromptu gifts.”
Yesterday was a decompression day. Taking care of and loving on lots of people this week left me needing a day that was all about me, for the most part. I’m almost finished with the cotton yarn I bought to knit dishcloths. There’s probably enough to make a couple more. I have eighteen in my stash. I like having these around for impromptu gift giving. I also get a bar of lavender soap every time my doTerra order comes around and I don’t need vitamins. I put these things all away to have ready for birthdays and hostess gifts.
\nI have this whole bonus family through marrying Mr. FixIt and I am thrilled to say the grandkids are going to church with me today! Mr. FixIt and I will go at noon then when he bowls this evening, I’ll take the grandkids with me and treat them out to dinner after church. I wanted to spend some quality time alone with them. Bonding time is important in step-families…even when the kids are all grown up. I’m so excited…I can hardly wait!
\nI told you I would let you know if I slept well again when I practiced handing everything over to God before bed. Well, I did and it was amazing how fast I fell asleep…and stayed asleep all night. I think I’m onto something here!
\nWe haven’t been to church for two weeks because of bad weather. I can hardly wait to get there today…twice! Have a blessed Sunday, dear ones. I’ll see you this evening for Sunday Night Prayer Circle. ❤️
\n“Children’s children are a crown to the aged, and parents are the pride of their children.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-01-27T02:30:49-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/01/27/building-up-my-stash.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","God","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/01/26/happy-feet.html", "title": "Happy Feet", "content_html": "Proverbs 17:6 NIV
![\"LL](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/8d5ddecbd8.jpg\")
“I love my new Happy Camper Slippers!”
My new slippers arrived yesterday! Yes…I had to have them. They are so cute and comfy. And they make me smile!
\nI’ve had an interesting week ministering to my family, loving my kids through life issues, being a mentor to the grandchildren. Missing the Colorado family. Sharing the Gospel. And the love. It’s been a challenge AND it’s been incredibly rewarding. And, I’m totally whupped tonight as I write this.
\nI have had a lot on my mind this week and I haven’t slept well. So, Thursday night I did like they suggested in Goliath Will Fall. When I laid down in bed, I told God I had worked on this stuff long enough. I said, “Here, I’m giving this to you to work on tonight. I’m going to sleep.” And I did. I mean…it really worked! I slept ten hours straight. I haven’t done that in ages but I’m going to try it again. I’ll let you know how it works.
\nI love how my posts have been stirring people to write to me with their own stories of faith and family. I love how someone writes of a painful situation they are going through and soon, there are others who have chimed in to support them. It warms my heart that God trusts me with this ministry…to my family, to my friends, to my readers. I am grateful for all of you. And for a God that trusts someone like me with such a wonderful gift. ❤️
\n“But I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-01-26T02:30:46-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/01/26/happy-feet.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Positive Energy","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/01/25/thoughts-on-conflict-fear.html", "title": "Thoughts on Conflict \u0026 Fear", "content_html": "Acts 20:24 ESV
![\"Proverbs](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/8661a28774.jpg\")
“Look for the gold in people. There’s enough dirt in the world.”
The other day, we touched on conflicts and how to resolve them peacefully. We all have seen our fair share of conflict in our lives and had dealt with it in the best way we knew how with the knowledge we had at the time. Sometimes it’s worked out ok…sometimes not. The good thing is, we can always continue to learn and grow and get better at the sticking points in life.
\nWhen you are dealing with marriage, here is the single most important thing I have learned. When you find yourself frustrated with your spouse…and you WILL at some point…mind your tongue when you are talking about him with others. If all you do is spout negative things, it won’t be long till that is all you will ever see in him/her. It doesn’t take long to go from speaking these things to outsiders to berating your spouse with all the things they do that tick you off. I can guarantee you…if you feed that beast, it’s all you’ll get back.
\nI learned with Mr. Virgo…once I started to notice something he did that bugged me, that was a sign I wasn’t praying for him enough. Same for Mr. FixIt. We all need grace. It’s a wonderful habit to practice with your spouse or other family members.
\nI had Bible study last night. We talked a little bit after last week’s study about the book “Goliath Must Fall” by Louie Giglio. Last night’s “giant” was FEAR. The first question we were asked was…”How well do you sleep?” Wow. Sometimes really well. Those are the times when things are going well and I really don’t have much to worry about. Other times, I lie awake all night long, staring at the ceiling, working something over and over, turning it this way and that, puzzling over how to…what? Fix it. Manipulate it. Control it. I rehearse conversations ahead of time with not only my dialogue, but that of the other’s as well. As if I have some sort of control over how another person thinks, acts, or responds.
\nSometimes I lie there and worry about an event that isn’t going to happen for eight months. “Will I have the extra weight off before the wedding? What will I wear? What happens if it’s really hot. I don’t do well in heat.” All I have accomplished in that scenario is set myself up for failure and robbed myself of sleep and God’s joy.
\nLast night’s lesson was this…when you lay down to sleep and the things to worry about start lining up…just hand them over to God and go to sleep. He loves you no matter what. He’s bigger than all of the giants. Trust him to work on your problems while you’re asleep. Then you awaken refreshed and can live in God’s Glory.
\nThere is a fine line between anger and fear. Giving your conflicts to God, praying for others, letting go of your fears…all elements that can help lead to a peaceful night’s sleep. ❤️
\n“Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-01-25T02:30:09-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/01/25/thoughts-on-conflict-fear.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Anger","Fear","Forgiveness","Warning","Choices","Change","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/01/22/action-v-reaction.html", "title": "Action v. Reaction", "content_html": "Ephesians 4:31-32 ESV
![\"MLK\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/1beb3f1755.jpg\")
“The Reverend Doctor Martin Luther King, Jr.”
Growing up in the chaos of alcoholic dysfunction made me a reactionary from an early age. There was a lot of anger in my home growing up. Lots of fighting, yelling, slamming, throwing, crashing. I never witnessed my father hitting my mother. He only hit me once. When he did, he came at me from behind and I stood up to him. I stuck my chin out and told him, if he was going to hit me he’d better hit me like a man and do it face to face. I’ll never forget the utter look of defeat on his face in that moment. He dropped his fist to his side, went over to the steps, sat down, and cried. He never went after me again. But, the damage was done. It was done long before that day.
\nI learned to be the peacemaker. To smooth things over. To mediate when things got out of hand. I was the bystander. I acted. Unfortunately, when the anger was directed at me, I reacted. I automatically went into defense mode. I made excuses. I deflected. I diverted attention. I manipulated. It was decidedly unhealthy and took far too many years to come to a head.
\nThe first pivotal moment of my life…that moment when there is a definite line in the sand that separates “all things before” from “all things after” was the overdose. That was when I really did the work necessary to effect permanent change in my life. It’s when I learned about codependency. Before that, there was no clear boundary to define where others ended and I began. I was too busy weaving a web that would hold everything together.
\nLearning about boundaries was a love-hate exercise. I loved finding my voice and standing up for myself. I hated confrontation. I loved the release healthy boundaries gave me because I didn’t have to try to run everyone else’s lives for them. I hated feeling like a fish out of water.
\nIt took a lot of practice. It still does. I still have to remind myself occasionally that I don’t do anyone any favors by not setting boundaries and demand they are respected. I didn’t spend seven hard years in therapy for nothing. Fortunately, Mr. Virgo came into the picture after I had these skills in place and he offered an excellent practice field.
\nAfter sixty-five trips around the sun, I’ve learned enough to know it’s a whole lot easier to carry love than it is anger, hate, discord, dysfunction, or codependency. When I approach any situation from a place of love, my walk becomes more Christ-like. And anytime I lead with “What would Jesus do?”, I am already winning. Conflict is inevitable in life. The only control we have is in how we react to it. ❤️
\n“For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-01-22T02:30:08-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/01/22/action-v-reaction.html", "tags": ["Health","Family","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Peace","Wisdom","Anger","Fear","Forgiveness","Courage","Presence","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/01/20/the-poet-from-darkness-into.html", "title": "The Poet - From Darkness into Light", "content_html": "Galatians 1:10 ESV
![\"Meme\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/37653c9994.jpg\")
“Think before you speak. Read before you think.”
\"maybe death isn’t darkness, after all, but so much light wrapping itself around us — as soft as feathers\"\n\nHow I let a treasure like Mary Oliver slip through my fingers, I’ll never know. It’s an excellent example of realizing how very much I do not know. The internet has been filled with loving tributes to this gentle woman with the expansive heart…her pen trimming away the excesses of flowery verse and going straight for the pit of your stomach. Her words are like magic…painting pictures of love and kindness and tenderness. Nature was her cathedral. Poetry was her torch.\n~ Mary Oliver
Oliver loved Whitman and Emerson, Shelley and Keats. Growing up in a dysfunctional home in Ohio, she ultimately settled in the wilds of New England, wandering through her woods and harbor…taking notes and penning phrases along the way. She has been compared to Emily Dickinson. Her poetry is filled with both darkness and joyous light. Her life partner, Molly Malone Cook, was her constant companion for over forty years, as well as her literary agent. After Molly’s death in 2005, Oliver continued on in Provincetown, Massachusetts until finally relocating to Florida. She rarely gave interviews because she valued her personal privacy and wished for her work to speak for itself. Mary Jane Oliver passed away on January 17, 2019 of lymphoma. And the world lost a valuable treasure.
\nIn researching Oliver’s work, I became introspective. How often do we think, once we have arrived at “a certain age”, that we somehow have attained a level of knowledge that we can, at the very least, term “well rounded”? I know a little bit about a lot of stuff, but there is SO much out there I haven’t a clue about. We cannot possibly learn everything, but how sad that I didn’t know Mary Oliver and her brilliant poetry during times in my life it might have soothed my heart. How joyful that I still have the opportunities to continue learning and growing.
\nWe are but a sum of our life’s experiences, are we not? The other night, I had a troubling dream. A recurring dream about a hopeless situation which will never be resolved nor totally understood. Not in this lifetime anyway. And whenever I have this dream, I am left feeling an ache in my heart…bereft over a loss I had little control over. It leaves me out of sorts for days and colors my every interaction, thus leaving the stains of old hurts smeared onto others who have no knowledge of my pain. It’s unfair and senseless. As I drove to town yesterday, I had a conversation with God. I asked Him to please step in and be an intermediary…to block this dream, and even the thoughts of the events that precipitate it. To take away the memories that come back and haunt me year after year. As I pleaded with God, I literally felt the old, familiar ache physically leave my heart. A weight was lifted and the cloud in my mind dissipated. I immediately thanked Him. Then…I let it go.
\nPoetry. Prose. Words. Prayers. God. They have such power to release you from the bondage of the past…if you let them. If you feel them and taste them and speak them. They can breathe life back into the sore places of your soul. ❤️
\n“If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.”\n\n \n", "date_published": "2019-01-20T02:30:58-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/01/20/the-poet-from-darkness-into.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Presence","Writing","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/01/19/german-comfort-food.html", "title": "German Comfort Food", "content_html": "1 Corinthians 13:1-3 ESV
![\"Kielbasa](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/924cffb50b.jpg\")
“Kielbasa, kraut, and mashed potatoes…German comfort food.”
When we were having coffee yesterday morning, Mr. FixIt asked if I wanted to go to the movies in the afternoon. My mind went over the list of things that needed to be done and I politely demurred. He turned on the weather report and they’re predicting a ton of rain turning to snow over the weekend so he wisely decided to go to town and rent a snake to clear the drain out back.
\nWe have a stairway that goes down into the basement. There is a four inch pipe in the bottom of that stairwell and it drains into a pipe that travels over a hundred yards out to the creek. About every two years, that drain needs to be snaked out so the water doesn’t back up and run into the basement. Also, there is a ditch out at the creek bank that always gets filled in when the spring runoff overflows. It’s an ugly, backbreaking job that no one likes, but it has to be done. With heavy rain in the forecast, it was best to get it over with.
\nWe headed to town and ran some errands before we picked up the snake at the rental place. I overheard the young man who was helping Mr. FixIt lift this monstrosity into the back of his truck.
\n“Who’s going to help you unload this thing?”
\n“That little lady sitting in the front seat up there.” Mr. FixIt sounded confident and proud.
\nWe stopped at the store on the way home and I don’t believe, even at Thanksgiving, I have ever seen so many people. The parking lot was filled. People were circling round and round. There were no carts. And the checkout lines were twenty deep. Mr. FixIt and I looked at each other like, “What the heck?”
\n“They’re predicting snow!” I said. “Let the games begin.”
\nI told him to just drive around and I’d be back out in a jiffy. As I headed into the store, the line from Hunger Games went through my mind.
\n“May the odds be ever in your favor!”
\nI scooted to the back and bought the two items I needed. Non-alcohol beer and a chuck roast. I’m easy. I waited two minutes and hit the self-checkout and was out the door in a flash. There were people in there with multiple jugs of milk and loaves of bread…as if they were anticipating being stuck in their homes for weeks. When we stopped at the discount grocer earlier, I planned ahead by buying an extra bag of flour in case I got a hankerin’ to bake something. It’s crazy what a snow forecast does in West Virginia. It’s a good thing it’s the weekend. I’ve seen them cancel school based on a forecast.
\nI used to kind of think these people were weenies when they cancelled school at the first sign of snow. After all, I lived in Colorado for forty years. If you don’t get out and go someplace when it snows, you’re going to be stuck in your house from October to May. But I’ve got to say, in these people’s defense, driving here in winter is NOTHING like Colorado. There, you can drive 55 in a whiteout blizzard, not that you SHOULD. Here, you don’t dare touch your brakes going 25 or you’ll be in a ditch in a heartbeat. The roads are twisty-turny and hilly. And they have this thing called black ice. It looks the same as wet pavement and it’s deadly. I get it now…people don’t want to go out in it. And school busses have no business hauling our babes through it if it can be prevented.
\nWhen we got home, I had to help Mr. FixIt unload that drain snake. I am telling you what…that sucker was HEAVY. Fortunately it’s on wheels so when we got it out of the truck all we had to do was wheel it to the back stairwell. Then we had to walk it down the stairs. Oy! Once it was down there, I went on inside and Mr. FixIt got to work. After some time, I didn’t hear the machine anymore so I went to see how he was doing. I found him out at the creek bank digging out the ditch. Living on five acres without city sewer isn’t always easy. That was a lot of hard work. I helped him get the contraption back up the steps and into the bed of the truck.
\n“You’re a hard worker,” he said.
\n“Thanks for telling me that, but you’re the one who did the tough stuff. I’ll fix you some supper while you clean up.” I smiled as I patted his bum when I walked by.
\nGerman comfort food seemed to be the perfect meal for the hard workers last night. I boiled kielbasa to leach out some of the salt then tossed it in a skillet with some melted butter. I drained the sauerkraut and added it to the skillet, stirring occasionally so it would brown but not burn. I made mashed potatoes and served the kielbasa/kraut mixture on top. Oh, it was heavenly! It was a good day’s work and that is so satisfying. ❤️
\n“Let the favor of the Lord our God be upon us, and establish the work of our hands upon us; yes, establish the work of our hands!”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-01-19T02:30:11-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/01/19/german-comfort-food.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","West Virginia","Gratitude","Wisdom","Courage","Humbled","Presence","Choices","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/01/18/finding-the-right-tools.html", "title": "Finding the Right Tools", "content_html": "Psalms 90:17 ESV
![\"Screws\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/d377f502e9.jpg\")
“Having the right tool leads to success.”
Good communication skills have not always been my strongest suit. For years, I was afraid to speak up for fear of judgement and rocking the boat. That changed with Mr. Virgo and I’ve honed the skill with Mr. FixIt. Yesterday I told you he was being a little stingy with his power tools. So, that night, instead of stewing over it, I just pointed out that I like power tools, too. He smiled and said he just wasn’t used to women who know how to do things like that. I understand that. Not all women can, or even want to, operate power tools.
\nYesterday, we needed to build another brace at the other end of the bathroom floor. That is where you attach two short pieces of 2x4 to a long piece in an “H” fashion and fasten it between the floor joists to support the new floor above. This end of the floor is located directly over the washer and dryer. It’s an awkward position to stand on a ladder and it was impossible for Mr. FixIt to get up in there, so I climbed up on the washer and dryer and fastened the new boards in with three inch wood screws.
\nI don’t know if you have ever held a drill at an awkward angle, over your head, and tried to hold enough pressure to keep the bit from slipping in the head of the screw, but I assure you it’s not easy. The first two screws stripped immediately. So I did what I always do…I talked to Jesus. I asked him to help me get this job done and the screws went in easily as I kept saying “Thank you, thank you, thank you.” When it got really difficult, Mr. FixIt just reached up and held the end of the drill and it worked like butter.
\nWhen you face the tough things in life, you need the right tools for the job. We had the right wood screws. We had the right drill and bit and a fully charged battery. We had proper lighting and ladders. We had mutual support and trust. And we had Jesus standing in between us. We can call on Him to help us with the most mundane of tasks. My shoulders relaxed and I put all my focus and force on the task at hand and was successful. The right tools for the job…it’s what creates success. ❤️
\n“Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-01-18T02:30:23-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/01/18/finding-the-right-tools.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Fun","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Wisdom","Courage","Presence","Choices","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/01/17/building-a-better-bath.html", "title": "Building a Better Bath", "content_html": "Hebrews 4:16 ESV
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/67107f8ca4.jpg\")
“Master Bath seems to be a bit of a misnomer when it comes to this tiny closet of a room.”
For those of you who have been following me for some time, you may remember when I helped a friend redo her bathroom. In that case, the man who she had arranged to do the work got as far as the demo and skipped out because it was “too cold outside to come over”. She called me desperate and asked if I could help. I have considerable experience after having remodeled my mom’s house before I sold it, so I jumped at the chance. I love doing fix-it kinda stuff.
\nThat bathroom turned out really great, if I do say so myself. Between the two of us, we had that thing knocked out in less than a month and it was beautiful when it was done. When I moved into Mr. FixIt’s house, the bathroom off the master bedroom was gutted. It has taken us a bit of time to get to the point of tackling this particular job because outdoor stuff kept taking precedence. And, now I know how Mr. FixIt felt the first time we went camping together. I wouldn’t let him do anything with the hooking up and unhooking of the camper. I did the driving. He just came along for the ride. Such is my participation in this home improvement project.
\nMy job appears to be that of “hold this here.” Now, don’t get me wrong…I love a man that is handy with power tools. AND I love to work with power tools, too. Now I know what he felt like when I told him to just sit over there and look pretty. It’s ok. I don’t really mind. I love helping him in any way I can. I try really hard not to tell him what to do when he doesn’t do something the way I would do it. I’ve learned to excuse myself when I’m getting too bossy and go work on something else till he needs me again. I’m learning how to do new things like building in support structures between floor joists where the shower is going. Once you have learned to be independent and do things for yourself, especially when you love building things, it’s not easy to back off and let someone else have the reins. Learning to be a couple again…give and take…relinquishing control…almost feels like new skills.
\nWe are a good team, Mr. FixIt and me. Thank goodness he has infinite patience! ❤️
\n“May the God of endurance and encouragement grant you to live in such harmony with one another, in accord with Christ Jesus, that together you may with one voice glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-01-17T02:30:31-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/01/17/building-a-better-bath.html", "tags": ["Family","Overcoming Obstacles","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Presence","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/01/15/the-difference-between-with-and.html", "title": "The Difference Between “With” and “Without”", "content_html": "Romans 15:5-6 ESV
![\"Arid](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/49b5021677.jpg\")
“The Difference Between With and Without”
I rarely write a post about a specific scripture. I usually write something then find the scripture that best illustrates my thinking. It makes me search more. It makes me read more and study the Word more. It keeps me engaged. This post is different. I was chatting with Danielle the night I was asking her questions about her addiction and overdose. When I told her how happy I was she was getting her life together at 24, I shared my story and told her I felt robbed of nearly a decade of my life. She shared a scripture with me and I made note of it. I have meditated on it for over a week and now I’m ready to share it.
\nI have always believed in God so therefore, I have never lived a day without Him. I will have to say though…Jesus didn’t live in MY house until 2004. By that time, I had already gone through two broken marriages. I had two beautiful daughters. And one broken mind.
\nI didn’t realize how desolate my life had become. I just knew I was shriveling up and dying on the vine. I became broken in my second marriage and, for whatever reason, we couldn’t seem to end it. We became more and more distant and I self-medicated in order to cope. Unfortunately, I was seeing a psychiatrist who did more harm than good and I couldn’t seem to end that either.
\nI knew what I needed. I needed Jesus. But I was married to a Jewish doctor. I took my little girl to Hebrew School every week. I organized all the Jewish celebrations in our small town. I had formally converted to Judaism. I had actually stood before a Beth Din…the Jewish tribunal court…and renounced Jesus as my personal Lord and Savior.
\n“Jesus would NEVER want me now.” I thought to myself.
\nToward the end of that marriage, I laid in bed every night and talked to God. I told him, if anything happened to my husband, I would become a Christian. I consoled myself with thoughts of singing in church…of praying…of reading my Bible. But I just couldn’t do that AND be married to the Jewish doctor. He would leave me.
\nLittle did I know he’d been thinking of leaving for at least five years before he told me. I was hurt. But I was also angry. If we could have both been brave and honest, we could have avoided the pain of the last five to seven years and gotten on with our lives. It would have had far less of an impact on my children…especially Daughter #2 who was just nine years old when I overdosed and we subsequently ended our marriage.
\nI felt robbed. Robbed of time. Robbed of happiness. Robbed of my marriage. And robbed of the Joy of having Jesus in my life…although I couldn’t articulate it as such at the time. When Danielle quoted Joel 2:25, my jaw dropped. It spoke of Redemption. It spoke of Replenishment. It spoke of Fulfillment. And the thing that spoke most to my heart was…the end of shame.
\nI was raised by a father who used shame as his preferred tool of control. Blame and shame were my lifelong companions, and renouncing Jesus had become the number one shame of my life. Before I even realized I needed Him, I was yearning for His unconditional love. Thankfully, I was saved and forgiven and made new. I didn’t have to wait for anything…I just needed to get out of my own way.
\nI loved the fact that as I ministered to Danielle, she ministered to me and told me God would repay me for the years the locusts ate. And He has…oh, my goodness. He has repayed me many, many times over. Far more than I ever deserved. As the calendar turned to another year, I could feel a shift in my relationship with God. No longer a “baby Christian”, I feel I have moved from an observer AT church to BEING the church. It’s a change in perspective and feels like a new level of maturity. It’s hard to describe, but I feel it and I believe it to be real. This is one of the wonders of walking with Christ. I’ve left the arid, desolate landscape of “without” and I’m walking in the lush, verdant landscape of “with”. ❤️
\n“I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten, the hopper, the destroyer, and the cutter, my great army, which I sent among you. \"You shall eat in plenty and be satisfied, and praise the name of the Lord your God, who has dealt wondrously with you. And my people shall never again be put to shame. You shall know that I am in the midst of Israel, and that I am the Lord your God and there is none else. And my people shall never again be put to shame.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-01-15T02:30:47-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/01/15/the-difference-between-with-and.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Courage","Humbled","Presence","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/01/14/the-water-crisis.html", "title": "The Water Crisis", "content_html": "Joel 2:25-27 ESV
![\"Running](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/36c4208b96.jpg\")
“If a crisis occurred and you didn’t have modern conveniences…would you know what to do?”
An alert went out to a good portion of the residents of my home town Thursday evening. There was a boil water advisory. This happens when there has been a water main break or something of the like. It seldom lasts more than a day. Not this one. What started out as “north of the Kanawha River” became “all PUD customers” overnight. Water was coming out of faucets anywhere from clear to partly cloudy to brown. Some people had no pressure at all. Others had a dribble. Still others seemed unaffected but a ban is a ban.
\nIt was interesting to watch Facebook as people became more and more concerned. There really wasn’t a very good explanation given to allay the fears of the citizenry. And, given we live in Chemical Valley, imaginations ran wild. It really could have been anything. Some said it was still ok to shower. Some said not. Others said it was ok to wash your clothes but when they did, large brown spots stained them. Now, I’ll have to admit…this situation did not affect me personally because we live out in the country away from that particular city water system. But, I’ve lived through things like this many times and it is not only a major inconvenience….it can be downright scary.
\nIt happened fairly often in Colorado. Just about every year when the spring runoff brought an over abundance of silt down into the city water intake, the filters were soon overwhelmed and our water got murky. There would often be a boil water advisory. My cousin has to haul water to fill a cistern since they live on the side of a mountain here in West Virginia. When they get a good hard rain, their water turns a murky reddish-brown. Out at the farm, there is a rainwater catchment system in place, but it’s been decades since the cistern has been cleaned or the filter changed. The point being, there are lots of folks who have to boil water on a regular basis. Or they just resort to buying water or taking empty jugs to a family member’s house to refill them. That’s what I did after Mr. FixIt and I started dating. I had about a dozen one gallon jugs I threw in my truck and I filled them when I visited him in town.
\nFor those of us more accustomed to living a more primitive life, these things are par for the course and you just roll with them. But city people who rely on the immediate availability of fresh water at the turn of the faucet get rattled. I don’t blame them. We are creatures of habit and we become complacent in our consumption of utilities. This is such a first world problem. So much of the world’s population has no access to fresh water, let alone electricity, gas, internet, phone, and groceries.
\nWhat would (will?) happen to us if the unthinkable happens and it all goes away??? Will you know how to collect and filter water? Will you know how to produce and preserve food? Will you be able to provide housing and clothing for yourself and your family? Will you be able to gather fuel to cook and keep warm? Do you have skills or goods for bartering? I worry that the last generation to really have those skills is getting too old to provide them. So, here is what I posit. If you have skills, pass them on to young people…your children, grandchildren, great grandchildren.
\nThis isn’t meant to cause an alarmist response. I don’t think something like this is imminent. But it cannot hurt to stock up on some extra jugs of water in case there is an emergency in your area. Parkersburg’s boil advisory wasn’t lifted until last evening. That made three full days without tap water for a pretty good-sized town. I’m not saying you have to go full on survivalist, but knowledge is power. Be prepared…or as prepared as you can be. ❤️
\n“Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-01-14T02:30:26-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/01/14/the-water-crisis.html", "tags": ["Health","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Wisdom","Courage","Presence","Warning","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/01/10/johnny-jaxxa-story-of-devotion.html", "title": "Johnny \u0026 Jaxx...A Story of Devotion", "content_html": "Proverbs 27:1 ESV
![\"Doggy](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/407d5c451c.jpg\")
“Rosie (L), Jaxx (C), and Johnny Boy (R) celebrate Johnny’s 4th Gotcha Day!”
We talk a lot here about death and dying, loss and grief. We talk about losing our parents…aunts…uncles…cousins, our siblings, our children, our friends, and our spouses. We don’t talk a whole lot here about when we lose our beloved fur-babies…those wonderful fur-covered angels that grace us with their presence for a few short years, only to be yanked away far, far too soon.
\nLosing our beloved pets affects most of us the same way as losing a human member of the family. Our hearts break. We grieve. We are lost. We get the same brain fog. The same yearning. If you are an animal lover and have ever been fortunate enough to share your life with a companion animal, then you know what I am saying is true.
\n![\"Sick](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/095a9d9d44.jpg\")
“Johnny Boy arrived so sick with Parvovirus we didn’t think he would live.”
My first dog as an adult was an Aussie/Blue Heeler mix named Boofer. She was brilliant. The only dog I truly did not have to train. I just talked to her and she knew exactly what I wanted from her. And she would do her level best to please me. She had to be put down at the young age of seven after a diagnosis of a pituitary tumor. We managed her symptoms with medication as long as we could but when she went blind, it was time to set her free.
\nAnimal owners know their time with their fur-babies is limited. Boofer was gone too soon. Old Mama Kitty was at least 23-24 years old. Sidney was 14…a big, goofy black lab who owned my heart during a really dark period of my life. Mr. Virgo showed up with a 10-year-old Yorkie/Maltese mix named Cricket who lived to be seventeen. She died just three months before Mr. Virgo did. That was my last dog. I just didn’t have it in me to do it again and my lifestyle isn’t conducive to pet ownership.
\n![\"Boxer](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/5cdb6f2e1b.jpg\")
“Johnny Boy is absolutely CRAZY over kittens! He has to have one…always!”
My friend Aimee is the Grande Dame of animal rescues. If it moves and squeaks, oinks, meows, moos, neighs, or barks…Aimee has to bring it home. Her husband rolls his eyes when another goat or chicken or rabbit or puppy makes an appearance at their West Virginia homestead. It’s all a show…he adores Aimee and if she needs to rescue another dog, she rescues another dog. As she says…she married well.
\nFour years ago, Aimee fostered little Johnny Boy…a mastiff-boxer mix who was dreadfully thin. They soon found he was also dreadfully sick. Johnny nearly died….several times…of parvovirus and parasites and any number of problems. They went to every length to save this little guy’s life. When he got through the initial illness, Johnny Boy started having trouble walking. His joints became swollen and painful. They finally discovered he had a very rare disease of the epiphyseal joints in his legs. After a trip to the State Veterinary School in Columbus, a treatment was finally found and Johnny boy began to thrive and grow.
\nThen, just before the holidays, Aimee found hundreds of little bumps under Johnny’s skin. Again, Johnny Boy does nothing halfway and it took quite some doing to get a diagnosis. When they did, it was not good. It was a rare cancer and there is nothing they can do for him. So, Aimee decided Johnny Boy’s end of life would include the very best days ever.
\n![\"Bonded](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/ff3b6c6414.jpg\")
“Johnny & Jaxx…BFF’s Forever!”
A few months ago, Johnny’s BFF…Jaxx…moved to Florida with his human person. And Johnny was devastated. When they found out Johnny Boy doesn’t have a long time to live, Jaxx’s owner drove him from Florida and left him in Aimee’s care for as long as Johnny needs him. Johnny and Jaxx are insanely bonded. I mean…they FaceTime each other. Seriously!
\nThe other night, Aimee threw Johnny Boy a four year “Gotcha Party” to celebrate and Johnny, Jaxx, and Rosie donned their party hats and sat in the little chairs around the table. They ate scrambled eggs for supper and had Pupcake for dessert. I loved watching the video!
\nAimee posted a video yesterday that shows Johnny having a little trouble breathing. His type of tumor releases histamines and they make his nasal passages swell which in turn makes it difficult to breathe. She knows this is the beginning of the end. And, trust me, she will never let Johnny Boy suffer. When it is his time, she will let him go peacefully. In the meantime, she suffers the anticipatory grief knowing Johnny’s time on earth is short. Yet, she shares him with us…and with Jaxx. I SO love this crazy mutt who came in and stole all our hearts and showed us what loving a rescue is all about. He truly is made of love and sunshine. ❤️
\n“The righteous care for the needs of their animals, but the kindest acts of the wicked are cruel.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-01-10T02:30:03-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/01/10/johnny-jaxxa-story-of-devotion.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Humbled","Aging","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/01/09/into-the-light.html", "title": "Into the Light", "content_html": "Proverbs 12:10 NIV
![\"1](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/9e7393dd0c.jpg\")
“For He called you out of the darkness into his wonderful light.” 1 Peter 2:9
I’ve kind of had a theme going here the last few days given the time of year it is. I still sometimes sit in awe when I look back to where I was nearly twenty years ago. This is how we know how far we’ve come…by looking back in wonder. I struggled so long with a spirit of depression. When the veil lifted and I walked back into the light, it was surreal. Supernatural. Which is exactly what it was, this lifting.
\nI am always consciously monitoring my mental state in the winter. I never, ever want to go back to that dark place again, so I carefully check myself often. Am I keeping up with personal hygiene? It’s one of the first things to slip. Am I sleeping too much? Not enough? How’s my temper? I get cranky when I get blue. Am I comforting myself with food? Am I eating out of boredom? Am I getting out and doing fun things and engaging with people? These are all problem areas and can signal depression.
\nWe had the fourth day in a row of warmth and sunshine yesterday. As a matter of fact, it was 64 late yesterday afternoon. The sun peeked in and out all day. It was glorious. I went out to visit TOW-Wanda. I plugged her in to charge up the batteries. She needs a good cleaning. I had company in there during the wedding and I never really cleaned much after that. One thing that really lifts my mood in the winter is to spend a couple of days in the camper, so I’m getting her fixed up.
\nBeing prepared for the grey days of winter can go a long way in warding off the blues. Keeping healthy foods in the house and limiting sweet snacks helps you make good choices when you want to cozy in with a bag of chips or a plate of brownies. Chilled, fresh oranges are sweet and juicy this time of year. If you really want a salty snack, the tiny bags of popcorn can hit the spot without overloading calories. I don’t want to count calories. I just want to remain mindful of what’s going in. And try to move more.
\nCleaning out a closet or that one junk room you’ve been ignoring can lift your mood and give you a sense of accomplishment. Or, starting a new project. We just started working on the master bathroom this week. It will be fun to see that take shape. Whatever it takes to keep you from hibernating and falling into a deep, blue funk is worth the effort to put towards keeping in the light. ❤️
\n“The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.””\n\n", "date_published": "2019-01-09T02:30:10-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/01/09/into-the-light.html", "tags": ["Faith","Health","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Positive Energy","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","Wisdom","Courage","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/01/08/transformation.html", "title": "Transformation", "content_html": "Deuteronomy 31:8 NIV
![\"God](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/3b3a208d73.jpg\")
“God often uses our deepest pain as the launching pad of our greatest calling.”
Grief comes in a variety of circumstances. My first experience with grief was when my Pop-Pop died just after I graduated from high school. I was devastated. I lost a job I desperately needed when Hubby #2 was in his first year of Medical School. The rehab center where I worked was experiencing some financial difficulties and I was let go. I felt it was personal until the next month when fifty more staff members were given their walking papers. I guess misery DOES love company. I grieved deeply over that loss because I loved the job, for one thing. For another, I was young and had never experienced anything like that. My next major grief experience was the overdose and subsequent loss of my marriage and the alienation of my children. That was horrifying. Then I lost my grandma, my dog, and Mr. Virgo in less than a year.
\nEvery time I’ve faced grief, I’ve thought my world would end. I couldn’t figure out how to live after those losses. And every time, I survived. Not only survived, but eventually thrived. I learned skills from coping with grief. Grief chiseled me into the person I have become. And as painful as it was to go through, God came in and used that pain as a launching pad of my greatest calling…my mission, as it were.
\nI’ve been having some meetings and there are exciting changes coming in 2019. Nothing I can talk about yet, but I can see God’s hand all over it. I was talking about it with Mr. FixIt the other night and told him I’ve been praying for these exact things…I have to walk forward into this new territory. Don’t worry…I’m not going anywhere. Just more fun and excitement I can’t wait to share with you all! ❤️
\n“Whenever, though, they turn to face God as Moses did, God removes the veil and there they are—face-to-face! They suddenly recognize that God is a living, personal presence, not a piece of chiseled stone. And when God is personally present, a living Spirit, that old, constricting legislation is recognized as obsolete. We’re free of it! All of us! Nothing between us and God, our faces shining with the brightness of his face. And so we are transfigured much like the Messiah, our lives gradually becoming brighter and more beautiful as God enters our lives and we become like him.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-01-08T02:30:50-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/01/08/transformation.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/01/06/the-pivoting-point.html", "title": "The Pivoting Point", "content_html": "2 Corinthians 3:16-18 MSG
![\"Snow](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/ec45847fd7.jpg\")
\nThis is the day that I refer to as my re-birthday. It was the day I hit rock bottom and had to start navigating my way back up. It wasn’t like I really wanted to die. I just wanted the pain to stop. Everything had become so painful.
\nI used to tell the details of this day over and over and over to anyone who would sit still. I told about my relationship to a man who wasn’t taking care of me the way I needed. He’s not a bad man at all. Years of illness and my altered personality from all those drugs had taken their toll on both of us. I told about the psychiatrist who misdiagnosed me as having a chemical imbalance in my brain. I told about how my life experiences, including episodes of childhood sexual abuse, had created the perfect storm that produced that fateful day.
\nIt’s nineteen years now. So close to two decades. Not quite one third of my life has passed. SO much has happened in those nineteen years, including burying my next husband. I am a sum of my experiences, as we all are. But, I am not DEFINED by those experiences anymore.
\nThe person I am today doesn’t resemble who I was back then. The only cells that are the same ones now that were present on that night at the turn of the millennium are neurons…the very cells I was trying to shut off. Everything else has been made new…both physically with the passage of time, and spiritually with my salvation.
\nThe value of the story has changed. I no longer want you to take sides with me and hate my ex-husband. I no longer want to make excuses for my behaviors. I no longer want you to feel sorry for me. These things were all present for some time in the retelling. Now, the value of the story isn’t so much the yardstick that measures how far I’ve come, but more a testimony that…no matter how far you’ve gone down the wrong path…you can turn around and have a better life.
\nWhile my abuse came from prescriptions, and Danielle’s (see my post about her earlier this week) came from street drugs and a needle, we are no different. We were both addicted and we were both saved by the same Grace. We were both snatched from the jaws of death by a loving and forgiving God. He didn’t cause our problems, but he did allow us to walk through them so we could learn and grow into the purpose He designed for our lives.
\nIt’s hard for me to believe that was me…that I was that far gone. I will tell you this, though…I will forever tell how Jesus picked me up and carried me when I stumbled and fell on January 6, 2000. ❤️
\n“so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-01-06T02:30:09-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/01/06/the-pivoting-point.html", "tags": ["Faith","Health","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","God","Wisdom","Fear","Forgiveness","Courage","Warning","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/01/05/thwarting-a-spiritual-attack.html", "title": "Thwarting a Spiritual Attack", "content_html": "Isaiah 55:11 NIV
![\"Psalm](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/4f4b01e30d.jpg\")
“Man says…show me and I’ll trust you. God says…trust me and I’ll show you.” Psalm 126:6
So, I was minding my own business, tucked under my blanket, happily knitting when I got a text . My dear friends Janine and Gail and I have a chat room where we visit just about every day. Janine was traveling through and was stopping at Gail’s to spend the night. I was three hours away but I wasn’t going to miss out on seeing my good friends. Impromptu road trip!
\nI got here just after dark. Janine had her friend Diane with her and I was thrilled to meet her. Another friend, Jan, came to join us and we just had a grand time. Diane is a devout Christian and is a PR person. Jan is a retired pastor. You can imagine our entire evening was talking about our stories and how God has worked in our lives.
\nI was standing in the kitchen giving Diane my testimony about finding Jesus when I started feeling ill. It worsened over the hour and I headed upstairs with a bucket, just in case. Everyone had gone to bed so when I came to Janine’s door I tapped.
\n“Janine?”
\n“Yes, dear.” She opened the door wide. Her smile quickly faded when she saw me. “Ginny? What’s wrong?” She came into the hall and touched my arm.
\n“Janine, I’m being spiritually attacked!” I knew it as sure as I knew my own name. I was suddenly, violently ill.
\nI spent the prior twenty-four hours pretty immersed in Jesus. I watched War Room…a powerful movie about spiritual warfare. Then I came to Gail’s and spent a whole evening talking about very powerful, spiritual things. There were five very strong women engaged in animated spiritual conversation.
\nJanine and Diane came into the room and laid hands on me and prayed fervently. Within a half hour, I felt much better.
\nIf you don’t believe in such a thing as spiritual warfare, I am here to tell you it’s a very real thing. The enemy does not like when powerful, spiritual women start professing faith like we were. But his power is in whispering lies and making you believe things that are not real. We sent him packing. A whole army of angels surrounded me and kicked his butt! We can just rejoice in that for a while, ok? I believe! ❤️
\n“Jesus turned and said to Peter, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns.””\n\n \n", "date_published": "2019-01-05T02:30:25-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/01/05/thwarting-a-spiritual-attack.html", "tags": ["Faith","Health","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Fear","Forgiveness","Courage","Girl Campers","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/01/04/snatched-from-the-jaws-of.html", "title": "Snatched From the Jaws of Death", "content_html": "Matthew 16:23 NIV
![\"Young](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/d0dc64b37d.jpg\")
“She was snatched from the jaws of addiction and saved by the Blood of Jesus.”
She’s just twenty-four. Yet she was addicted to heroin for six years. And occasionally she did meth. On April 14th, she overdosed on both and landed in the ICU for four days on life support. She wasn’t even out of the ER when she popped up on my radar. I’m in a small group at church with someone who knows Danielle very well. The text came in begging for prayers to save this beautiful girl.
\nAnd pray we did. Our whole church prayed for her. Actively. Daily. There were prayer warriors stationed at the hospital. There were friends and family talking with her. They wanted to connect her with someone who could help her in this fight. And they wanted Jesus in Danielle’s corner.
\nShe resisted, as you might imagine. At first she said she’d talk to him. Then she wouldn’t. And finally, just before discharge, she relented. I’m unsure of the exact timeline, but I know it wasn’t long till this beautiful girl was saved in a parking lot with many prayers surrounding her.
\nThe change that has come over Danielle is remarkable. When you see her today, and see the light of Jesus on her, it is so hard to imagine her shooting heroin into her veins. She has attended a faith-based residential program three times. These weren’t three dropouts. This was three separate sessions. Because, as anyone who has been set free of the demon of addiction can tell you, it’s never a one and done situation. It is a life-long learning process. And she is committed.
\nA couple of days ago, Danielle took a plane to Hawaii to attend discipleship training. When she arrived, her luggage was somewhere in Dallas. When she got to the campus to check in, she found out there had been a miscommunication and she was short on funds…four figures short on funds. She reached out to her church family and we raised the funds in about three hours. There is no way to hide God’s work in this. And it is so obvious the enemy doesn’t like it. He tried to throw a wrench in the works at every turn but our God is a mighty God. It wasn’t long till the enemy was put in his place.
\nLast night, I watched War Room. I’ve always considered myself to be…if not a prayer warrior…then at the very least, a fervent prayer. Oh, my…that movie has me planning a War Room of my own! People like Danielle remind us of the power of prayer. I am so proud of her hard work and her willingness to keep plugging at this. I can’t wait to see what she learns in discipleship training. I cant wait to see what God has in store for her! I’m so happy God plucked her from the jaws of death because I know He has plans for her…to prosper her and not to harm her. ❤️
\n“I must go on boasting. Although there is nothing to be gained, I will go on to visions and revelations from the Lord. I know a man in Christ who fourteen years ago was caught up to the third heaven. Whether it was in the body or out of the body I do not know—God knows. And I know that this man—whether in the body or apart from the body I do not know, but God knows— was caught up to paradise and heard inexpressible things, things that no one is permitted to tell. I will boast about a man like that, but I will not boast about myself, except about my weaknesses.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-01-04T02:30:51-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/01/04/snatched-from-the-jaws-of.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Change","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/01/03/we-rise-by-lifting-others.html", "title": "We Rise by Lifting Others Up", "content_html": "2 Corinthians 12:1-5 NIV
![\"Meme\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/8e3f5780ef.jpg\")
“Blowing out someone else’s candle won’t make yours shine brighter. Remember that.”
Have you ever had someone in your life that went out of their way to put you down? Of course you have. We all have. I was in a long term relationship that was like that. Comments like, “You aren’t wearing THAT are you?” “Well, THAT was stupid!” These things take a toll on you after a while. It took a long time, and a great deal of therapy, to learn those things were said by a person who was egotistical but still suffered emotional injuries from a less than demonstrative childhood.
\nIt happened with my dad. It happened with most of the men I’ve been involved with. Men who suffer so they must make YOU suffer in order to feel better about themselves. The wounds run deep.
\nMr. FixIt and I have a different kind of relationship than I’ve ever experienced. I am much more free to express my feelings with him than I have been with anyone else. I think part of that is age. Part is setting the ground rules early in the relationship that we can say anything. I’m still learning how to govern that. Too much freedom and some things come out sounding unkind. Many a truth was said in jest.
\nWe rise by lifting others up. I know from experience what that constant needling feels like and I don’t ever want my sweetheart to feel less than loved to the max. At the same time, there are moments in any relationship when you have to blow off steam. That’s fine, as long as you fight fair. Life is just so darned short. I want to really live it…not walk on eggshells like I did in the past.
\nI pray every day that I will give my very best to my husband and my family, to my friends and acquaintances. I strive to be my best self, but I don’t beat myself up when I fall short. I just try again the next day. It’s called being human. ❤️
\n“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-01-03T02:30:15-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/01/03/we-rise-by-lifting-others.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2019/01/02/hope-and-joy.html", "title": "Hope AND Joy!", "content_html": "Ephesians 4:29 NIV
![\"Paul](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/a8bc2d62bd.jpg\")
“The world is changed by your example, not by your opinion.” - Paul Coelho
The other day I said my word for 2019 would be “Joy”. Then I decided it really should be “Hope”. Well, we all know it is a woman’s prerogative to change her mind and I’ve decided to have TWO words this year…Hope AND Joy! No reason I can’t strive for both and they go hand in hand, right?
\nI was looking through my photos from the last year. I try to use my own photos for my blog but sometimes something comes along that I just need to share. That is the case in today’s meme.
\nOne of the photos I saw yesterday as I was preparing to write this post was one of my sweet Uncle Bud, devoted husband of my Aunt Viv who died the day after Mr. FixIt and I got married. I was so worried about him the last couple of years. As Aunt Viv’s dementia worsened, he got less and less sleep and had absolutely no time to take care of himself. The last two years he also had the added responsibility of caring for his sister…the elderly aunt I originally came to West Virginia to try to help. I really hated that hers and my inability to get along added an extra burden on him, but it couldn’t be helped. She and I were oil and water. Or probably more accurate, gasoline and a match.
\nEvery week, I called my Uncle Bud to see how he was doing. And all too often I suggested perhaps they should seek some sort of alternative to caring for both women in the home, virtually unassisted. And every time, he patiently replied, “We’ll see.” I realized long back, this is not my place to butt in, so I tried to stay out of it. I wasn’t always successful, but I tried.
\nWhen my aunt finally passed, I realized…that was his sweetheart. The love of his life. He took vows that he would love her and care for her in sickness and in health. While no one would have held it against him if he would have placed either of my aunts in a nursing home, this was just not the way he was raised and he has a huge heart. He simply could not do that for his wife. And now, I am sure, he will care for his sister as long as he possibly can.
\nWhen I came across a picture of my Uncle Bud yesterday, I had to smile. Here was this 80-something year old man whom I adore, hunched over his brand new smart phone. Apparently, someone felt it was time for him to ditch the old flip phone he’s been using forever and come into 21st century technology.
\nI can just imagine what he must think. I remember when I got my first laptop. I brought it to West Virginia to show my grandma. I signed up for AOL specifically so I could use the internet anywhere. I plugged it into her phone line and rang up the dialup modem. After the beeps and boops, up it popped. We sat there for hours looking up stuff. She was intrigued, but I don’t think it really sank in what she was looking at. It was all a mystery to her.
\nAs I head into the new year armed with “HOPE” and “JOY”, I want to remember always that it is my example, not my opinion, that will change the world. It takes a village to change things. And if we all work together, we can raise the collective vibration of the planet to a place of awareness and peace. If we strive to go high when others go low, we can set our sites on a common goal…one of peace and mutual understanding. When we keep God at the center, he equips us with all we need to succeed. This is my prayer…my most fervent hope, in order to find infinite joy! ❤️
\n“But after you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who calls you to share his eternal glory in union with Christ, will himself perfect you and give you firmness, strength, and a sure foundation. To him be the power for ever! Amen.”\n\n", "date_published": "2019-01-02T02:30:31-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2019/01/02/hope-and-joy.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Comfort","Grace","Peace","Wisdom","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/12/30/gwendolyns-journey-with-arthrogryposis.html", "title": "Gwendolyn’s Journey with Arthrogryposis", "content_html": "1 Peter 5:10-11 GNB
![\"Arthrogryposis\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/1ccabb6501.jpg\")
“Baby Gwen was born with arthrogryposis…a rare congenital anomaly that causes some joints in the body to be stiff and bent in odd directions.”
A few months ago, I asked you to pray for my friend’s little baby granddaughter and you all stood up and joined hands and prayed hard. Baby Gwen came into this world a beautiful little flower…but some of her petals were damaged. She has arthrogryposis…a rare congenital defect that affects multiple joints. There are typically joint contractures which may be stuck in one position. The muscles surrounding these joints may be weak, stiff, or even missing altogether. Little Gwen’s left leg was bent backwards and lay across her tummy. Her feet and hands are turned inward and her little chin is drastically receded.
\n![\"Meme](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/9e03ffeb7c.jpg\")
“Her damaged petals are what made her more beautiful than all the other flowers.” A. J. Lawless
As Gwen has grown, some of these contractures have needed to be addressed more urgently. Because her lower jaw recedes, she cannot drink from a bottle. She eventually had a stomach tube placed to get tube feedings directly into her stomach. And, because she can’t swallow, her normal saliva can choke her to death. She has to have someone awake with her 24/7 in order to suction her airway when her secretions get in her way. Between her airway and tube feedings, physical therapy and doctor’s visits, little Gwen is more than a fulltime job. I’m telling you this though…God couldn’t have given her to a better family than the one she’s in.
\n![\"Leg](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/df63439bd8.jpg\")
“Gwen has had a series of casts placed on her legs to bring them down into position for surgical repair.”
The latest surgery was a tendectomy. This will clear the way for eventually walking. I know it’s hard to imagine her ever walking when you look at that newborn picture, but she has had a series of casts as well as the surgery and her legs are down much closer where they need to be. She is just now being able to coo and gurgle baby gibberish and it makes your heart soar when you see her in a video. Her huge, sensitive eyes look into your very soul. She is the sweetest little thing.
\n![\"Stomach](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/411351c86c.jpg\")
“Baby Gwen is fed through a tube placed surgically into her stomach because she cannot swallow well enough to eat.”
Gwen’s parents are young. Mommy had to quit her job to stay home with the baby. With all the expenses that go along with a situation like this, there is also a Go Fund Me page to help with daily expenses and challenges. I rarely share this kind of thing, asking for donations, but I know this family personally. They are a wonderful, close knit family who needs a little extra help. It’s the end of the year. If you find you need to donate a little more, or if the Spirit moves you, please consider helping this young family out.
\n![\"Arthrogryposis\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/3c75e2863d.jpg\")
“The muscles in Gwen’s arms and hands are weak and she is just now learning to ‘hold’ toys.”
You can find Gwendolyn’s story at:
\nhttps://www.facebook.com/GwendolynsJourney/
\nYou can find their Go Fund Me page at:
\nhttps://www.gofundme.com/gwendolyn-strong
\n![\"Baby](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/9663d5261f.jpg\")
“I look forward to every post as I follow Gwendolyn’s Journey. This baby will never be told she can’t do something…they will just find a way.”
“As Jesus was walking along, he saw a man who had been born blind. His followers asked him, “Teacher, whose sin caused this man to be born blind—his own sin or his parents’ sin?” Jesus answered, “It is not this man’s sin or his parents’ sin that made him blind. This man was born blind so that God’s power could be shown in him.”\n\n", "date_published": "2018-12-30T02:30:15-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/12/30/gwendolyns-journey-with-arthrogryposis.html", "tags": ["Faith","Health","Family","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Humbled","Presence","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/12/29/looking-for-the-light.html", "title": "Looking for the Light", "content_html": "John 9:1-3 ICB
![\"Sunset\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/7ba6044c5c.jpg\")
“Looking for the Light”
In the next week or two, one after the other…folks will be taking down their Christmas lights. My goodness, I know people who take their decorations down as soon as the last present is opened! Me? Well, if I didn’t have to dust the darned thing, I’d leave my tree up all year. Oh, I love my tree! Mr. FixIt picked out two or three trees and sent me pictures of them when I was in Colorado that first Christmas we were dating. I chose the one I wanted and he picked it up on sale after the holidays. He’s such a good man!
\nThankfully, we are past the winter solstice, and the days will incrementally reward us with more and more light. But it will be a while before we really notice it. Until then, I will hang on to my sweet, white lights on my tree. And my scented candles. And my battery operated candles that automatically turn on and off. And the little candles in each window that stay up all year. And the accent lamps. There are no curtains on the windows so I can squeeze out every moment of light every day. I crave light.
\nIn the past, I have fallen victim to the habit of saying, “I hate winter!” “I hate the cold weather!” “I hate the snow!” Well, you know what? Whether I hate it or not, it is going to be here. Defeatist jargon steals joy. Either way, hate or joy, it’s still going to be dark and cold. So why not choose joy? Why not change the negative self chatter to something like…”There is joy in this moment.” There is joy in that sunbeam, no matter how briefly it shines. There is joy in the snow…no two snowflakes are alike. There is joy in the trees as they stretch their naked arms up into the sky, their roots settled in for a rest before they burst forth with their gift of green.
\nThis transformation of my thinking doesn’t come in a straight line. I’ve found myself being decidedly grumpy occasionally over the last couple of weeks. Then I remember my word…presence…and I come back. It may be a forever battle, but my war cry will always be “Joy!”
\nThat is my word for 2019. Joy!
\n“These people who live in darkness will see a great light. They live in a place that is very dark. But a light will shine on them.” Isaiah 9:1-2”\nMatthew 4:16 ICB\n", "date_published": "2018-12-29T02:30:33-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/12/29/looking-for-the-light.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Presence","Choices","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/12/18/say-i-love-you-with.html", "title": "Say “I Love You” With a Little Yarn \u0026 a Lotta Love", "content_html": "
![\"Knitted](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/c4a7ec551b.jpg\")
“Hand knitted dishcloth with the ASL sign for “I Love You” in the pattern.”
Yesterday’s post had me thinking about quick, last minute gifts for the holidays. I was in town Sunday afternoon so I stopped at Walmart and picked up some cotton yarn. Those cute patterns for dishcloths had me thinking I’d like to whip up some.
\nMr. FixIt had to go to town yesterday to help a friend build something and do a little Christmas shopping. I elected to stay home. I asked Alexa to play “Soft Christmas Music”, turned up the stove in the family room, grabbed a cup of coffee, and curled up by the tree. I pulled up the fox fur blanket that I had made from the coat Mr. Virgo gave me years ago. And I set to knitting.
\nIn the comments on yesterday’s post, my friend Jamie told me someone made her a dishcloth with the ASL symbol for “I Love You” knitted into it. I asked for the pattern and her friend sent the link. I still have the remnants of grief brain so I had to really concentrate on the pattern. I had to take out a row every now and then when I couldn’t remember where I was in the pattern. But before too long, I had one finished! I’ve started a second dishcloth from one of the pattern in the link I included yesterday.
\nThe other day, Daughter #2 called and said she missed my cooking. I asked her what dish she loved the most. Turkey Tetrawhatzit…my version of Turkey Tetrazzini. So, before Mr. FixIt got home, I put some of the frozen turkey from Thanksgiving in a pot with a little water and simmered it till I could shred the meat with a fork. In an electric skillet, I sautéed half an onion, some sliced mushrooms and celery in a little butter. I added a drained can of mixed veggies. When the turkey was shredded, I tossed it in the skillet with about a pint of the drippings from the pan I roasted the turkey in. While that simmered, I cooked some egg noodles. I mixed up some flour in some of the broth and thickened the turkey mixture, stirred in a cup of sour cream, and brought it just to a simmer then added the drained cooked noodles. Topped with a little shredded Parmesan and…voila! Turkey Tetrawhatzit! Comfort food at it’s best…and it made me think of my daughter. Mr. FixIt said…”Send her a picture!” I did…then called her so she could “join us for dinner!”
\nIt was a lovely day…peaceful, comforting, homey, warm with a big dash of “I Love You!” ❤️
\n“Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.”\n\n", "date_published": "2018-12-18T02:30:47-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/12/18/say-i-love-you-with.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Prayer","Hope","Positive Energy","Fun","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Holiday","Wisdom","Humbled","Art"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/12/17/forgiveness-equals-freedom.html", "title": "Forgiveness Equals Freedom", "content_html": "Psalms 23:6 ESV
![\"Meme\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/7b8df47345.jpg\")
“Forgiveness=Freedom”
I’m not sure what I expected when I became a Christian in 2004. Lightning? The parting of the sea? Enlightenment? Thunder? I do know what I received was life altering. I received a healing to my very core. I felt like every cell in my body had been made new. It was remarkable.
\nWhen I was a baby Christian, I was like a sponge. I knew God, and loved Him. I knew Jesus, and finally embraced Him. But, when it came to the Holy Spirit, I was clueless. I had no idea exactly who He was, how He worked, what His function was. As the years have gone by, I’ve learned more and more and have developed my relationship with the Holy Trinity. And once in a while I get a big A-Ha moment that shines a light on some aspect I didn’t understand before.
\nI’ve long known and understood when the Holy Spirit talks to me. Those “nudges” that move and steer me in a certain direction are an indication of His presence. When I worship or hear a particularly moving sermon or scripture and I get goose bumps…that’s the Holy Spirit. All those years when I felt a knock on the door of my heart to let Jesus into my life? That was the Holy Spirit. I get all that now. And sometimes when I call out to Him and get the answer in moments, it reiterates just how close the Holy Spirit is….He lives inside us. He is that aspect of God that touches our hearts and minds with an intimacy only God can provide. I had that experience this weekend.
\nWe had lunch with some of the local residents who live near the farm. Over lunch, my elderly aunt became a topic of discussion and I recounted how difficult that time had been. Then at church yesterday, Pastor Justin spoke on forgiveness. True forgiveness breaks the chains that are holding you prisoner. I thought back to my conversation of the day before and realized, I still had a spirit of unforgiveness as I was holding some resentment and hurt in my heart over some of the things my aunt said and did while I was trying to help her. In retrospect, I was quite filled with “You have no idea what she put me through!” That resentment, however small, is the poison I keep drinking yet she is totally unharmed.
\nAt the end of services, Pastor Justin did an alter call and asked those to come forward who wished to let go of resentments and hurts and embrace a spirit of forgiveness. He came to each of us and laid his hands on our heads and prayed over us. I left feeling completely changed…yet again.
\nDo you have someone you are harboring a spirit of unforgiveness for? Is there someone who has hurt you that has left you saying, “I’ll show you!”? If so, this is a beautiful time to just let it go. Pray for those who have hurt you. Seek ways to praise them in public for the blessings they have given you…even if that blessing is the insight you gained from their unkindness. And, this is the season of giving. Send them a card. Stick a $5 gift card for coffee or to a restaurant. Tell them, “You know, I just wanted to let you know what a blessing you have been this year.” Or “I know you’ve gone through a rough patch and I just wanted to reach out and tell you I’m thinking of you.” Forgiveness goes a long way toward uniting us. I’m not saying send a gift card to your abuser. Or even reaching out for conversation with someone who physically or emotionally abused you. But you can still pray for them. The spirit of forgiveness in you just might bring you a new level of peace and healing of your own. ❤️
\n“bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.”\n\n", "date_published": "2018-12-17T02:30:42-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/12/17/forgiveness-equals-freedom.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Hope","Positive Energy","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Courage","Humbled","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/12/13/depression-not-everyone-is-merry.html", "title": "Depression: Not Everyone is Merry and Bright", "content_html": "Colossians 3:13 ESV
![\"Decorations\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/c538091599.jpg\")
“Not Everyone is Merry and Bright at the Holidays.”
Do you remember back at Thanksgiving when I told you I ran across a distressing Tweet from someone talking about suicide? I ended up getting busy that day and didn’t get a chance to look back for the Tweet until the next day. I was so afraid I wouldn’t find it, but I did. I felt compelled to respond…another nudge from the Holy Spirit to go where I’m needed. I reached out and heard back. I know very little about this person. I don’t know age…male or female…nothing. I’m very careful to encourage seeking professional care, which is being done. It feels as though the crisis of three weeks ago has eased a bit and now we are communicating. The last message was…
\n“Why are you doing this? I’m not used to a stranger extending so much kindness and praying for me.”
\nI’m not telling you this to draw attention in a “look what I did” kind of way. What I’m trying to demonstrate is what Pastor Justin preached on last Sunday.
\nLOVE>HATE
\nLove is greater than hate. The Bible instructs us in this. If my brother weeps, I should weep with him. We are instructed to sit with them. In Ezekiel 3, Ezekiel has started having visions of God and God is instructing him to go down to the exiles in Tel Aviv and “sit where they sit”. In other words, spend time with them in their circumstances so that he might better understand where they are coming from.
\nWhen my Twitter friend asked why I am being so kind and praying, my answer was direct and honest.
\n“Because, I was in a dark place one time. I OD’d and almost died. I saw the damage it did to my family. No one really heard my pain till I finally got a good therapist after the OD. I am now an encourager. It is my mission in life to lift up others and pray for them.”
\nNot everyone is having a Hallmark Holiday. When you come across someone who is hurting, sit where they sit for a while. Offer what you can. Pray with them. Be quiet with them. You never know when you might be the person to tie the knot in the end of another person’s rope so they can keep from slipping off. ❤️
\n“Then I came to them of the captivity at Tel–abib, that dwelt by the river of Chebar, and I sat where they sat, and remained there astonished among them seven days.”\n\n \n", "date_published": "2018-12-13T02:30:05-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/12/13/depression-not-everyone-is-merry.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/12/11/kitchen-comforts.html", "title": "Kitchen Comforts", "content_html": "Ezekiel 3:15 KJV
![\"Roses\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/42d0bf36e4.jpg\")
“Mr. FixIt brought me roses.”
When I’m struggling with grief, a day in the kitchen does wonders for me. Mr. FixIt knew I hadn’t slept well the last couple of nights since learning the sad news of Miss Louisa passing away, so he was gracious and let me sleep in as long as I wanted to yesterday. I must say, when I awoke around 11:00, I did feel much better. I padded into the kitchen to make my coffee and greet my sweet man in the family room…steaming mug in hand.
\nI snuggled into the loveseat and wrapped my blue fox blanket around me. The Christmas tree was decorated and standing to my left in front of the big picture windows. The gas stove was cranked up and putting off some decent heat. The heavy frost still laid white on the grass and trees in my view. And, amazingly, the forsythia had several bright yellow blooms on them casting a stark contrast to the grey palette of December.
\nI sipped my coffee while Mr. FixIt read the paper. The TV droned quietly in the background…some fourteen year old was answering questions on a game show. I tuned it out as I stared at the decorations on the tree and took inventory of my feelings. The pain I felt when I heard the news of yet another loss was easing a little and shifting to the lonesomeness of not being able to pick up the phone and call whenever I want. It is familiar turf for me.
\nAfter a while, I sighed and went into the bedroom to dress. Mr. FixIt put on his insulated coveralls and went outside to work a while. I carried my second cup to the living room and sat down to knit on a pair of socks. I texted my friend Gail who is touring Europe to see how she is doing. My friend Janine sent me a text to remind me she was going live at 3:00CST. I put my phone away and turned Pandora to “Traditional Christmas.” I spent the next hour or so in quiet meditation, my hands wrapping the wool yarn around the needles with the muscle memory of a skill I learned in my youth.
\nI decided to mix up a batch of oatmeal raisin cookies and was pulling the last batch from the oven as Mr. FixIt came in from the cold. I turned on the kettle and he had a nice cup of tea as he ate a cookie, still warm from the oven. He watched me move around the kitchen, cleaning up the bowls and baking pans. I sensed his eyes on me. This is the relationship we delight in. I looked up from wiping the counter and he smiled.
\n“You treat me so well.”
\nI smiled back. A knowing smile. An appreciative smile. This is the part of him that is like Mr. Virgo. He loves and appreciates me and is quick to tell me. I love that.
\n“I like spoiling you,” I grinned. He laughed, gave me a little pat as he tucked his mug in the kitchen sink. He pulled up his coveralls and went back outside. I watched him as he walked out the door. How can a coverall make a man look that sexy? I smiled as I tucked the towel in the door handle of the oven and turned out the light. I had another hour to knit before I started supper.
\nWhen I was at the farm the other night, I brought home a pot roast from the freezer. When it was thawed, I cut it in cubes. I put about a cup of flour in a gallon ziplock bag with some salt and pepper and dropped in the cubed roast. I tossed the meat in the flour, rubbing the pieces through the bag to ensure they were well coated then dropped them into a hot skillet with a little oil in it. When the meat had been seared on all sides, I removed it and put it in my electric pressure cooker. I put in a can of beef broth and a can of water, replaced the lid and pressure cooked the roast for 55 minutes. Once it was finished, I let it cool for about twenty minutes without releasing the pressure. I released the pressure carefully and removed the lid. The meat bubbled in a nice thickened gravy and smelled divine. I poured the meat and gravy out into a large storage container and set it on the counter. When it was cool enough, I popped it in the fridge to be used during the week for meals and sandwiches.
\nYesterday, I cooked up half a bag of egg noodles. I took out half the meat and gravy and placed it in a saucepan on low heat to warm up. I sautéed a whole package of sliced mushrooms in two tablespoons of butter. Everything was ready at the same time so I drained the pasta, and put it back in the pan, poured the beef and gravy in with the sautéed mushrooms and added 3/4 cup of sour cream. I gave it a quick stir and called Mr. FixIt to the table for supper.
\nA day like that is soothing to the spirit. It reminded me that, while I miss those I have lost, I have skills in place that I did not have when I lost Mr. Virgo. It is not lost on me that I have the added blessing of this sweet man to be my companion and helpmate to love and support me as I navigate the losses. I kind of feel like I’m cheating…I don’t have to grieve alone like I did when I became a widow. That kind of grief is so much harder than this. I am grateful. ❤️
\n“‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.””\n\n", "date_published": "2018-12-11T02:30:08-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/12/11/kitchen-comforts.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Presence","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/12/05/the-secret-to-a-good.html", "title": "The Secret to a Good Relationship", "content_html": "Revelation 21:4 NIV
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/31b51b39dc.jpg\")
“As you grow closer to God, you can’t help but grow closer to each other.”
A young man I barely know came up to me at church the other day. He knew Mr. FixIt and I had just been married. He was quite interested in knowing the secret to a good relationship. He wanted to know how you KNOW you have the right person.
\nOne might not think I know the answers to those questions, given I just entered my fourth marriage. That sounds awful, doesn’t it? Like maybe I don’t know what I’m doing. And, I suppose if you ask my two ex-husbands, they might agree with you. I would counter with a statement: I learned with the loss of each relationship. I learned to examine my own behaviors and contributions, or rather…lack of contribution…in each relationship. I learned about what I DIDN’T want in a relationship.
\nIt doesn’t really benefit you to approach a new relationship with a look backward at what you didn’t like before. It does benefit you to look forward with an attitude of “How can I be the best spouse I can be without losing myself here?” I smiled at the young man and said…”I have the answer for you!”
\nHe looked at me in surprise and payed very close attention.
\nI held up my hands, fingers and thumbs pressed together forming a triangle.
\n“Do you see this? This is your relationship. You are here. Your spouse is here.” I pointed to the base of either thumb.
\nI held up my left hand and said, “See? If you have God in your life, you work towards a good relationship with Him. You not only raise yourself up, but you move forward. The same goes with your spouse.” I held up my right hand to demonstrate.
\n“When you are married, and you put God first in your relationship, you each raise yourselves higher, but what happens to you individually?”
\nThe young man broke into a huge grin. “You get closer to each other!”
\n“Yes! That’s exactly right! Do you see how simple that is? There’s no real secret here. Just keep God as the primary focus of your marriage, be the very best partner you can be, try to outlove each other, and He will take care of the rest. It’s nothing more than faith and physics!”
\nI gave the young man a pat on the back and headed on in to find Mr. FixIt and take my seat beside him as we put God first…this day and all days. ❤️
\n“He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.”\n\n \n", "date_published": "2018-12-05T02:30:43-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/12/05/the-secret-to-a-good.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Uplifting Stories","Prayer","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Marriage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/12/03/plantarpalmar-psoriasis-a-conundrum.html", "title": "Plantar-Palmar Psoriasis: A Conundrum", "content_html": "Proverbs 18:22 NIV
![\"Healing](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/b2e4b2e5b2.jpg\")
“The difference CBD Ointment made after just two weeks of use is absolutely remarkable!”
Refresher:
\nAfter Mr. Virgo died, I developed an autoimmune disorder. It took three years to diagnose what was happening to my skin. As you can see in the photo on the left, my skin thickened, dried, split, and peeled. Then it started all over again. Cycle after cycle. My feet were just as bad. Occasionally it would appear on my elbows or on random spots on my legs. Much mostly just the palms of my hands and soles of my feet. It got so bad that I had to wrap my feet with duct tape to keep them from splitting open. I went through thousands of bandaids as I had to keep my fingers wrapped constantly…for comfort and also out of embarrassment.
\nI went to doctor after doctor. I used every over the counter product there was available. I went through dozens of tubes of expensive medications. Nothing worked. Finally, my doctor found the correct diagnosis…Plantar Palmar Psoriasis. Still, the medications for it didn’t work. The next thing to try was systemic steroids or one of the new, strong drugs for psoriasis. They also talked about doing light therapy. I was not happy with either scenario.
\nI was in Colorado visiting, and a friend saw my hands. She suggested I go to a marijuana dispensary to see if they had something to offer. I did, after much contemplation. I didn’t want the psychoactive effects of marijuana but I would do just about anything for relief. This had become debilitating. I showed them my hands and they recommended an ointment. It cost $50 for a small jar. One jar lasts about 1-2 months, depending how often I have to use it.
\nThe difference between the photo on the left and the photo on the right is two weeks. Two weeks! I had been struggling for three years and cannabis fixed it in two weeks. Now, this is not legal in West Virginia, so I can only use CBD ointment…the kind without THC. THC is the psychoactive ingredient in marijuana. As it turned out, when I used the ointment with the THC, I only felt very mild effects the very first time I used it. After that, I felt nothing. Using CBD without THC is a no brainer. It couldn’t get you high if you ate it straight out of the jar.
\nLast year, I was in Fruth Pharmacy in Mineral Wells getting something and noticed a case up front with CBD oils and ointments in it. I was thrilled to know that I could replenish my supply of ointment locally and not have to order it over the internet. I went in yesterday as my little jar is almost empty. The case was gone! I asked what happened and the clerk said they had to get rid of it. I asked who told them they had to get rid of it. The answer? The government.
\nYes. These are the same people who say I have to be carded at the age of 65 when I buy non-alcohol beer but a 12 year old can buy Listerine which is 54 Proof. I don’t understand. It’s ridiculous. I am not asking for opioids. I am not seeking a high. I am not looking to used anything that is addictive. All I want is CBD ointment or oil. Cannabidiol. Look at these photos. If this isn’t photographic evidence of the efficacy of cannabis in the treatment of psoriasis, I don’t know what is. God made all the plants of the field. ALL of the plants. Some plants are poisonous…but this plant offers healing when used properly and it should be made available everywhere.
\n❤️
\n“Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well.”\n\nDisclaimer: Remember, I am not a doctor and I cannot give medical advice I’m just telling you what worked for me. I can’t be responsible for what may or may not occur if you choose to follow my example. I showed my doctors and they were stunned.\n3 John 1:2 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2018-12-03T02:30:01-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/12/03/plantarpalmar-psoriasis-a-conundrum.html", "tags": ["Health","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","New Ideas","Gratitude","Comfort","Wisdom","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/11/22/nothing-like-the-last-minute.html", "title": "Nothing Like the Last Minute", "content_html": "
![\"Fresh](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/526c5ab0ee.jpg\")
“A fresh turkey takes the guesswork out of thawing.”
We were going to leave yesterday to travel to my cousin’s for Thanksgiving dinner but they have a loved one in the hospital and wouldn’t be home till late. We decided to leave bright and early this morning as that would give us another day to prepare for our company coming Saturday.
\nMr. FixIt and I bought a 25# turkey in preparation for 14 guests and plenty of leftovers. We bought said bird early last week. I pulled it from the freezer and put it in the fridge in the garage on Friday. I figured it would be totally defrosted in the ensuing eight days. Well, yesterday morning it was still hard as a rock. I mean, maybe the slightest icy give under the skin, but that’s it. No way that monster is going to be ready for Saturday’s guests. Heck, it might not be ready for CHRISTMAS at that rate.
\nI pulled the turkey from the fridge and let it sit in a galvanized tub on the basement floor till I realized the temps are supposed to be down in the twenties over the next few nights. That thing will never make it and since we’ll be gone for a couple of days, I can’t put it in the sink with water or leave it out of the fridge in case global warming shifts into high gear before Friday. I made the decision…I had to go to town and buy a fresh turkey. On the day before Thanksgiving. In a small town. My chances of meeting success were drastically slim.
\nI left Mr. FixIt and his vacuuming (for the fourth or fifth time this week…I’m not sure there are fibers left in this carpet. But, I digress.) and headed to town. The first store I come to…besides Dollar General…is Walmart. Since Dollar General most assuredly doesn’t carry fresh turkey, I elected to stop at Walmart. I didn’t hold out much hope and I was totally prepared to have to drive all over town. I sent up a little prayer and said, “Lord, you know I’ll drive all over town to find a fresh turkey but I sure would love it if You would make sure I find one at the first store I come to?” Sure enough, there was my turkey…and everything else I needed!
\n![\"Homemade](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/df4beec72a.jpg\")
“Homemade chocolate cake…Grandma Lois’ recipe.”
I came home and baked a cake for today. My son-in-law’s mom makes this cake all the time. Her mom got the recipe in an exchange at her ladies club years ago. It uses buttermilk, mayonnaise, and boiling water and it is the BEST chocolate cake I think I have ever had!
\n![\"Hydroponics](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/1cf7b3e746.jpg\")
“Butter crunch lettuce…one hour from harvest to table…in November! Hydroponics rule!”
Later in the day, my friend Diane posted she had just bought some hydroponic lettuce produced in our tiny little town. I asked where I could get some and she brought a head over as a gift. It was fabulous and I can assure you, this is where I’ll be purchasing my salad greens this winter. And…NO fear of E. Coli! Win-win.
\nI hope you all have a wonderful holiday. May your turkey be tender and your gravy lump-free! I am thankful for all of you!!! ❤️
\n“Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever.”\n\n", "date_published": "2018-11-22T02:30:28-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/11/22/nothing-like-the-last-minute.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Positive Energy","Fun","West Virginia","Gratitude","Love","Holiday","Wisdom","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/11/21/is-empathy-gone-for-good.html", "title": "Is Empathy Gone for Good?", "content_html": "1 Chronicles 16:34 NIV
![\"Weeping](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/43ee847b20.jpg\")
“ER Doctor Weeps After Losing 19-year-old Fire Victim”
We have a problem. Ok, we have LOTS of problems, but one of the biggest is a cultural shift away from empathy and respect for human life. I have long held that violence on TV and in movies, as well as video games, has been breeding the art of human kindness right out of the hearts and minds of mankind. And I don’t see it getting any better anytime soon if things stay on the current course.
\nThis photo shows an ER physician in California taking a moment to regain his composure after losing a 19-year old girl. I was married to a doctor. Showing emotion in your interaction with patients is considered highly unprofessional so it’s trained right out of them. It touches my heart to see this image because I understand him.
\nThe other day, I was browsing through my Facebook feed when I saw a video of Barack Obama surprising his wife at one of her book signings. Politics aside, it brought me to tears. Not the act itself, although it was quite special to see a man love his wife so openly. No, what made me cry was the comparison of civility we enjoyed two years ago as compared to what we experience today. I was just “waking up” after three years of foggy grief brain and what I experienced personally was heart wrenching. (I’m not going to step into a political dogfight here…just expressing dismay at so much derision in the world.) I had a flash of what an oppressed people might feel when they no longer enjoy the feelings of safety and freedom they experienced before. It was simultaneously frightening and sad.
\nYou cannot raise a generation of human beings on autopilot, plugging them into electronics, filling their eyes and minds with graphic violence and expect them to come out a well-adjusted, empathetic society. You can’t give them more and more realistic depictions of murder and mayhem with rewards for killing the most and expect healthy minds as a result. Combine this issue with easily accessible drugs and weapons and you have a recipe for the disaster we find ourselves in currently.
\nDo all people who watch graphic programming and play violent video games become mass killers? Of course not. But it does cause a deterioration of the moral fabric in this country. I know this problem didn’t start with this President. I’m not saying he is to blame. That would be naive and doesn’t look at the whole picture.
\nWhat we have in this country is heart disease. I’m not talking cardiac. It doesn’t come from a single source, either. It’s a multifaceted issue stemming from a systematic numbing of the mind. It’s complicated. God. Discipline. Respect. Honor. Work ethic. Inequality. Imbalance of power. Lack of checks and balances. Broken homes. Latch key kids. Low teacher pay. Family values.
\nI long for people to love each other the way Jesus loves us. And, as long as we hide Him in a closet, it’s never going to happen. So, I do my part as best I can. I shine His light out into the world every day. I pray He expands my territory so that I can shine that light even further.
\nI pray for this broken world and its broken people. And I look for the helpers. For the ground breakers. The outreachers. The radical lovers. The peace warriors. The light shiners. And the tearful physicians who aren’t afraid to show their emotions. There is always and forever hope for a brighter tomorrow. ❤️
\n“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” \n\n \n", "date_published": "2018-11-21T02:30:24-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/11/21/is-empathy-gone-for-good.html", "tags": ["Faith","Overcoming Obstacles","Grace","God","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Warning","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/11/20/driving-down-the-road.html", "title": "Driving Down the Road", "content_html": "Ephesians 4:29-32 NIV
![\"Country](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/a658a5bc1a.jpg\")
“Country roads…take me home!”
Remember this summer when I shared the pictures of how terrible the road was out to the farm? The compressor station back behind the farm is finished. No more heavy trucks hauling super heavy loads out the road and back. It was a long year. They started building the road out to the station site this time last year.
\nThe road had gotten so bad I was really afraid I was going to blow a tire or break an axle or, at the very least, knock my truck out of alignment. I just had to drive really slow and try to dodge the worst parts or come to a complete stop if there was oncoming traffic.
\nI was told by multiple sources that our road would not be fixed until the routine paving time came up on the schedule. I was also told the county did not negotiate road repairs into the contract with the company building the compressor station. Essentially, I figured good, hard working, lower income West Virginians would get screwed again.
\nIn late summer, a local company came in and cut out large rectangles of mangled asphalt and rebuilt the base. But, they didn’t put anything on top so it was no time before these big rocky rectangles became just as bad as the road was before. Pretty soon, someone else came in and blacktopped over those messy rocky rectangles and I thought, “Good! At least there aren’t deep holes anymore. I can live with this.”
\nWhile we were gone on our honeymoon, my cousin’s wife, Charlotte called to give me an update on the kitties. Then she said, “Wait till you see what they’re doing to the road! You won’t believe it!” I rolled my eyes. What now? “They’re paving it!!!”
\nSure enough, each time I’ve gone out since the wedding, a little more and a little more was blacktopped and things were finally improving. I went out yesterday and they are not only finished…the lines have been painted and a very nice shoulder has been laid down. If I could have done a jig, I would have…but I was driving.
\nI didn’t have to yell and scream at a meeting. I didn’t get upset other than grumble under my breath and complain to you all a little bit. I didn’t have to write letters or threaten law suits. I just talked to God whenever I drove over that wretched road and said, “Lord, please place it on the hearts of the people responsible for making this mess to come back here and make it right. This isn’t fair to all these people out this little old road. They work hard and most of them don’t have much. Please make this right.” I have no idea who actually ended up getting this job done, but I am grateful for a good, solid road going out to the farm now.
\nPrayer works. Even in the most ordinary things. ❤️
\n“The end of a matter is better than its beginning, and patience is better than pride. Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools.” Ecclesiastes 7:8-9 NIV\n", "date_published": "2018-11-20T02:30:21-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/11/20/driving-down-the-road.html", "tags": ["Faith","Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","West Virginia","The Farm","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Wisdom","Humbled","Presence","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/11/19/loving-what-is.html", "title": "Loving What Is", "content_html": "
![\"Woman](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/bbd34fe274.jpg\")
“Snapchat filters make me see the beautiful woman inside. The mirror makes me see the beautiful Child of God that I am on the outside!”
I love my grandkids. I don’t get to see them and interact with them enough. Big is 14. Little is 11. Both are at the age where their interests lie elsewhere. Still, Little and I engage in bouts of “Let’s top each other in Snapchat.” She always wins. She does the cute and funky filters that twist your face up or adds bunny ears and whiskers. I go for glamour shots that take away my wrinkles and gives me the face of a super model. Vain? Not really. More like seeing the woman I feel like.
\nI’m sixty-five. Even in my primest of prime years, I was never super model material, but I could turn a head or two. I still can, if truth be told. Just ask my new, still-smitten husband. He thinks I’m the most beautiful woman on the planet! And, when I bask in his love-light, I feel even MORE beautiful. Isn’t that lovely?
\nWhen I look in the mirror and I see the wrinkles, the graying hair, the sagging skin, the cellulite I realize I am not looking at myself correctly. I am listening to the enemy whisper…”You’ll never be enough.” Instead…I change my focus. And you know how I do that? I listen to Jesus.
\nHere’s what Jesus tells me.
\n“You are altogether beautiful, my darling: there is no flaw in you.” (Sol. 4:7)
\n“You will be a crown of splendor in the LORD’S hand, a royal diadem in the hand of your God.” (Is. 62:3)
\n“Those who look to him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed.” (Ps. 34:5)
\n“For we are God’s masterpiece…” (Eph. 2:10)
\n“…Created to do good works which God prepared in advance for us to do.” (Eph. 2:10)
\n“Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill his promises to her!” (Lu. 1:45)
\n“God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day.” (Ps. 46:5)
\n“She is worth far more than rubies.” (Prov.31:10)
\n“But by the grace of God I am what I am.” (1 Cor. 15:10)
\n“See, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands…” (Is. 49:16)
\nThis is your time. God is within you. You are inscribed on His hands. Did you hear that? On his HANDS! He will fulfill his promises to you. You do your part…believe. Leave the rest up to God. Do you seriously believe the Almighty who created the stars in the sky does not count the hairs on your head? You are precious in His sight. Really.
\nNow, go out there and hold your head up high on this Monday morning. Smile at that person in the mirror. Need I remind you that you are a beautiful, perfectly imperfect image of God? You are loved. You are cherished. You are coveted. You are protected. You are awesome. There is ONLY ONE YOU.
\nI know. You may not be feeling it. You may be going through some pretty tough times right now. You may feel discouraged. You may be facing a crisis. You may be battling demons. You may be in the dark throes of grief. God has put it on my heart there is someone out there I need to tell this to so listen carefully. This is not the end of your road. He has a purpose for you that you haven’t even imagined yet. Don’t quit. You cannot fail as long as you do not quit. That miracle might just happen in the next five minutes, so stick with us here. Reach for Jesus’ hand. He will never, ever turn his back on you. He will never leave you. He will never cut you down or say mean, hurtful things to you. He will never make you feel small. He will never make you feel “less than”. He will meet you right where you are and love the stuffin’s out of you. Trust me on this.
\nYou are a child of God. ❤️
\n“...And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?” Esther 4:14 NIV\n", "date_published": "2018-11-19T02:30:47-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/11/19/loving-what-is.html", "tags": ["Faith","Health","Uplifting Stories","Prayer","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","God","Peace","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Courage","Humbled","Choices","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/11/18/the-comforts-of-home.html", "title": "The Comforts of Home", "content_html": "
![\"Knitting](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/10516862da.jpg\")
“Knitting, Football, and a Fire…it doesn’t get much better than that!”
I rarely ever sit down and watch a football game with Mr. FixIt. Football never really held my interest till Mr. Virgo patiently explained the game to me. He and I used to watch football all the time. But TV hasn’t been very high on my list of things to do since he died so I usually find something else to occupy me while Mr. FixIt watches…especially his beloved Mountaineers. He’s a diehard WV fan. And, as I found out yesterday…he really is not an Ohio State fan.
\nMr. FixIt gets verbal when he watches football. He doesn’t curse and throw things at the TV, but he gets pretty loud. I had a lot of fun knitting yesterday while he cheered. Having a day to stop doing all the fussy work around the house and sit down with a good cup of coffee, something fun to knit, and a warm fire while watching football is a perfect day in my book.
\nWe drove over to the store at halftime to get something to fix for dinner. I was walking through the produce section and thought to myself, “Taco salad sounds great for supper!” I turned to Mr. FixIt and before I could open my mouth and ask him what sounded good, he turned to me and said, “You know, taco salad sounds great for supper.” I had to think for a second. Did I say that out loud? Nope…we are just that attuned to each other. When we were first dating, he texted me one morning and said, “How does that bagel taste?” I nearly choked on said bagel as I read the text.
\nWhen we are apart, he texts me within two minutes of my waking up. I asked him one time how he knew I just woke up. He said he can feel it. I love that. I love that deep connection you only get when you truly know someone. When we have had that, and lost it, it’s so easy to tell yourself you will never have that again. I vowed I would never do this again. Not only because I didn’t think anyone would want me, but also because I wasn’t sure I could top Mr. Virgo. That was early on. Now I know better. It’s not a competition. It’s not ever a question of which love is better. Which husband is better. I know a man who was dating sometime after his wife had died. He and the new woman had gotten to “I love you” in their relationship. Then one day she asked him if he loved her more than his late wife. Holy cats!!! What a terrible thing to ask someone. As you may well imagine, that was the end of that.
\nLazy Saturdays…one of life’s little pleasures. And, it’s free! ❤️
\n“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” Ephesians 5:25 NIV\n", "date_published": "2018-11-18T02:30:33-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/11/18/the-comforts-of-home.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Wisdom","Humbled","Peaceful Moments","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/11/17/grief-is-a-crucible.html", "title": "Grief is a Crucible", "content_html": "
![\"Refinery\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/e12ab5519c.jpg\")
“Grief is a crucible…you come out entirely changed by the process.”
I was interviewed yesterday for an article for a major financial company. The topic was whether widows find navigating finances difficult in grief. I asked her how long she had to discuss this and suggested she put on a pot of tea. For me, dealing with finances was one of the most difficult aspects of my grief process aside from the fact my husband died. I was terribly unprepared and totally unknowledgeable.
\nI’m the first to admit I was a spoiled princess. Money was always the source of arguments in my house growing up so that carried over into my marriages. Being the wife of a doctor, money wasn’t really tight. I had a checking account that wasn’t really monitored. What I thought was just “not worrying” turned out to be “highly irresponsible.” Mr. Virgo and I had separate accounts and we both had good jobs. I just didn’t worry about it. I’d ask his opinion. I had a financial advisor but he wasn’t necessarily overly involved. I just left my IRA with him and hoped for the best.
\nMr. Virgo often commented that I should find a different advisor because he didn’t think the guy was doing much for me. But, since it was my money from my divorce, he left it to me to make my own decisions. Money talk makes me highly uncomfortable so I decided the devil you know is better than the one you don’t. It was easier to just stay where I was. An ostrich with my head in the sand.
\nThen the unthinkable happened. You are never prepared entirely. I sure could have been more knowledgeable though. A friend suggested a Christian financial advisor. After meeting with her, I moved my IRA over and started learning about being a responsible steward for the gifts God gave me. This is what the journalist and I discussed during the interview.
\nWe talked about some of the difficult decisions I had to make. Selling the house was major. Getting rid of 95% of my personal belongings and downsizing from a three bedroom house into a thirty foot camper was a challenge. Traveling across the country and trying to help my elderly aunt was difficult. Whenever I am interviewed about the early period of grief, it really strikes me how much territory I have covered since Mr. Virgo died.
\nThe first thing I did when I hung up the phone was text my girlfriends and remind them to have that difficult conversation about end of life decisions. Know where everything is. Have a notebook with all the accounts and passwords. If you go over to my website, there is a link there where you can purchase an excellent book called The LastingMatters Organizer by my friend, Barb Sedoric. I wish I would have had something like this before I so unexpectedly became a widow.
\nDo you know what a crucible is? When you have raw ore, you place it in a crucible and heat it up to ultra high temperatures. This burns off the impurities and leaves you with something stronger, better, precious. Grief is a crucible that turned my gritty “sand” into colorful glass that reflects the light in a million different directions. It’s not till I’m forced to turn around and look that I can see how far I’ve come. ❤️
\n“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.” Isaiah 43:2 NIV\n \n", "date_published": "2018-11-17T02:30:37-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/11/17/grief-is-a-crucible.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","God","Wisdom","Courage","Downsizing","Change","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/11/15/the-art-of-giving.html", "title": "The Art of Giving", "content_html": "
![\"Shopping\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/d10672485e.jpg\")
“Shopping for warm blankets with my small group.”
I love this time of year. However, the first Christmas after Mr. Virgo died, I was so incredibly lost. I went to Denver to be with my family because I couldn’t bear to be alone. I think that’s pretty common among those who have lost a spouse.
\nThe holidays were so special to my late husband. He lived for Christmas especially. He planned all year. He paid attention to what I needed or wanted and he was incredibly generous with gifts…too much so, really. But it gave him such joy to see the look on my face when I opened something from him. He just wanted to keep seeing that look.
\nThat first lonely Christmas, one of the layers of the onion peeled back and revealed my days of receiving his well thought out gifts were over and it was just another beautiful thing torn from my life. I was bereft. I wanted something special from him, and since that was impossible, I decided to do something special for me.
\nI was driving down a busy Denver street the week before Christmas when I felt the gentle nudge of the Holy Spirit.
\n“There…go there.”
\nI looked to the right and it was Walmart. I dutifully turned in and parked. As I was walking in, I heard….
\n“Pay it forward.”
\nI went to the layaway desk and inquired how I could pay off someone’s layaway. Unfortunately, they had called in the layaways the week before so whatever hadn’t been paid for was returned to the shelves. Not to be deterred, I went to the ATM, withdrew some money, bought a card, and sat down to write a note in it. I told the recipient about this gentle man who loved Christmas and the joy of giving. I told whoever was going to receive this that I was giving them what he would have given me. Then I sat down on the bench at the front of the store and waited for the next instructions.
\n“Go back there. To the left…you’ll find them there.”
\nI headed for the back left and found the toy department. I wandered around and saw several shoppers but none stood out. I went around the corner of an aisle and there they were. A young mom and dad. They pulled a toy from the shelf, looking hopeful. Then they looked for the price, looked at each other, looked defeated, and put it back. They did this several times as they moved slowly down the aisle. There was very little in their cart.
\nI roamed back and forth, acting like I was very interested in something, but all the while trying to listen without being too obvious. What I wanted was for the woman to wander away from her bag for a moment so I could slip the envelope in and be on my way with the young couple none the wiser. She was a smart girl…she never left her bag for a moment. Finally, I decided I just had to move forward or I was going to look like a crazy stalker.
\nI walked up to the woman and said, “Here. I think this is yours.” I handed her the envelope with the bills stuffed inside. She was puzzled. She looked up from the envelope and our eyes met. I smiled warmly, pulled her to me in a mom hug, and whispered, “Merry Christmas.” Then, before she could let it register, I turned on my heel and walked away straight out of the store, without looking back.
\nI got to the car and my knees were shaking. I would have loved to have seen her face. But then she would have wanted to thank me or maybe even refuse the gift. Neither of which I wanted. I put the car in gear and headed to meet my family knowing I had shared something special with someone who needed it. I remember when I was a poor, single mom…trying to do the best for my own little one with very, very little resources. It felt good to give.
\nThe church I attend is huge, so in order to have that sense of a “church family”, we have small groups that meet for several weeks per session. The group I belong to has such amazing, strong Christian women. We are in a chat group and we offer prayers and support to each other as we share and learn and grow in the Lord.
\nThis year, our Pastor challenged the groups to find a service project and complete it by the end of the session. We couldn’t decide on just one so we supported two. The Women’s Care Center and the Mission for the homeless. Last night we met at a discount store in town and loaded three shopping carts full to overflowing. We bought children’s clothes, long john’s, hats, and 20 blankets and wheeled our purchases to the foyer. There, we stood around the carts and placed our hands on the bounty and prayed…out loud, in the store, in front of God and everybody. We asked for God to bless these items that they would doubly warm the recipients. We asked that they feel God’s love for them when they wrap themselves in the blankets. Then we headed for the mission.
\n![\"Bags](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/e6279481f6.jpg\")
“The bounty!”
When we came in, laden with bag after bag of stuff, the man behind the desk said, “What have we here?”
\n“Blankets! From The Warehouse Church!!!” We said, in unison.
\n“Oh, my gosh…that’s exactly what we needed. I ran out of blankets this evening!”
\nI smiled. I kinda felt Mr. Virgo grinning…poking me in the ribs.
\n“See, babydoll! That’s what I’m talkin’ about. It’s better to give than to receive. Giving is an art form.”
\nYes…I do love this time of year. ❤️
\n“Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. As it is written: “They have freely scattered their gifts to the poor; their righteousness endures forever.”” 2 Corinthians 9:7-9 NIV\n", "date_published": "2018-11-15T02:30:37-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/11/15/the-art-of-giving.html", "tags": ["Faith","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","God","Wisdom","Humbled","Presence","Choices","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/11/09/remaining-hopeful-in-a-hopeless.html", "title": "Remaining Hopeful in a Hopeless World", "content_html": "
![\"News](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/e5176b3168.jpg\")
“When the news is on fire, how do you stay hopeful?”
We awoke yesterday to the news of yet another mass shooting. We are only three days out from another season of hateful politics. Glaciers are melting and species are disappearing. Computers can generate images that are easily passed off as truth. China just released the first AI news anchor. There will come a time when we won’t be able to tell what’s real and what isn’t. There’s so much death and destruction, murder and mayhem, and just pure evil in this world. How do you remain hopeful in a world like this?
\nI was reading some comments yesterday on a news post. One after another, people expressed hopelessness. I just read that a college student was supposed to go to the place in Thousand Oaks but she had homework. As a child, she went to a school in Colorado where a gunman broke in, took hostages, and eventually killed a girl then himself. She asked her mother why death followed her so much. There were people at the dance hall who had been at the concert in Vegas that was attacked. How on earth do you remain hopeful in circumstances like this?
\nCompound all this with grief and it is SO easy to become hopeless. To succumb to sadness and depression. I mean, here I am…the perennial cheerleader…the veritable Pollyanna, as Mr. Virgo called me. I’m weary of all this negativity. It’s beyond negative. It’s evil.
\nI can’t just stick my head in the sand. I can’t stick my fingers in my ears and yell “LA LA LA LA LA I CAN’T HEAR YOU!” I can’t cover my eyes and pretend I don’t see what’s going on. That isn’t productive. It isn’t healthy. And it’s not realistic. Granted, I don’t watch TV so one might say I am practicing avoidance. I say I’m being selective. I choose my media outlet based on who I feel gives the most fair and unbiased news reporting. I cross check sources and references. I Google things I am skeptical about. I practice critical thinking. En masse. It’s tedious. It’s time consuming. But it’s the only way I can keep my senses from being barraged and eventually overwhelmed.
\nI look at the world through the lens of my faith. I am a Christian. And I am a Liberal Democrat. I have not looked up the statistics, but I am sure I am in the minority…looked at distrustfully by both sides. And therein lies the problem. Sides. Division. US against THEM. Divisiveness is encouraged. Chaos is a smokescreen. The enemy is very, very busy now.
\nWhen I find myself feeling mired down by all the hatred in the world, I remind myself…I’ve read the Book. I know how this story ends. The light prevails over darkness. Faith, hope, and love. God tells us love is everything. It is behind every commandment. We are to love God with every ounce of strength we have. And, we are to love our fellow man as we love ourselves.
\nThe enemy whispers doubts and delusions. Yes. There are evil things happening. Yes, there is darkness all around. But, I can put light out there. I can find ways to bring God’s light into the world. I can carry the love of Jesus in my heart and let Him shine through my thoughts and actions. And if I can do that, others can do that. The enemy wants me to believe I am the only one trying to make the world a better place. He says things like, “Why are you even bothering?” He is whispering lies meant to break me, to discourage me. But I won’t be discouraged. I’ll WALK STRONG as long as there is a breath in me. I will always look up. I will seek God’s face. I will ask for his comfort and guidance. I will pray for discernment to show me what is true and what is not. But most of all, I will trust Him. Because of His promises to me. He has never, EVER failed me. And that, my friends, is how I remain hopeful in this fallen world. ❤️
\n“If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; if he is thirsty, give him water to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head, and the Lord will reward you.” Proverbs 25:21-22 NIV\n", "date_published": "2018-11-09T02:30:21-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/11/09/remaining-hopeful-in-a-hopeless.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Grace","God","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Presence","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/11/06/living-in-a-small-town.html", "title": "Living in a Small Town in the Hills", "content_html": "
![\"WV](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/7e0331305c.jpg\")
“The colors are a bit past their prime, but still lovely.”
I am from West Virginia originally. I was raised about 30 miles from where I’m standing at this moment. My grandparents’ farm is 22 miles away. Both much shorter “as the crow flies”. I left here when I was nineteen years old and lived first in England for two years then Colorado for forty. It wasn’t until Mr. Virgo died that I headed back to my roots in these beautiful hills.
\nMy first year was spent out at the farm on seventy-four acres. You talk about quiet and peaceful. Other than the oil and gas traffic on the road, it’s dead out there. The little store closed this summer. The only thing open now is the tiny post office.
\n![\"Pumpkins\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/560a870b59.jpg\")
“Fall decor lines the driveway.”
I remember when I was married to Hubby #2, the doctor. I lived a different life then than anything my family could even approach experiencing in terms of finances and the ability to experience travel. I was talking with one of my high school sister/friends one night and apparently I was acting in a way which warranted a dressing down. She reminded me, in no uncertain terms, where I started out in life and not to be so snooty. She was absolutely right. I had gotten a tad big for my britches.
\nWidowhood changed me in many ways…not the least of which was living a small, quiet life in a camper with only 5% of my belongings dragged with me. Moving to the farm was a continuation of the much simpler, more humble, and highly satisfying life I have come to know since my return to my roots. And now, I’ve married into this sweet little town I’ve come to love.
\nI went to the Post Office yesterday to pick up the mail held for us. As I stood in line, the two women at the front wrapped up a conversation as the clerk called her name.
\n“I hope we run into each other again real soon!”
\n“”Well, lets just plan on lunch so we don’t have to leave it to chance!”
\n“That’s great!”
\nHugs.
\n“You tell your mama hey for me, will ya’?”
\n“Sure will!”
\nMy heart smiled. I picked up my mail and headed to the local mom and pop grocery store. I was standing at the meat counter waiting for the gal to weigh out my two pounds of fresh ground hamburger and slice the Colby Longhorn cheese I’m so fond of. An older woman came up to the counter, walking gingerly.
\n“Whoooo-ooooo! Honey, it’s gonna rain tomorrow. I can guarantee it. My joints are hurtin’ me somthin’ awful today. I tell my son, I say…’Boy…don’t you go huntin’ tomorrow ‘cause it’s gonna rain!’ He listens. He’s a good boy.”
\nMy heart smiled even bigger.
\nThe gentleman from behind the meat counter went up to run the second register during the “big rush” at 4:00. He’s one of two brothers who own the store.
\n“How have you been doing today?” He reminds me of a preacher. Clean cut, kind to a fault.
\n“Great! We just got home from our honeymoon last night!” I said.
\n“Wonderful, wonderful! And where did you go?” His smile was warm and engaging.
\nI told him we started out with the WVU - Baylor game then headed to Colonial Williamsburg and on to the beach.
\n“Oh, I remember a trip to Williamsburg when I was in Junior High. What a beautiful place that is. And what beach did you go to?”
\n“We went to Salvo and got a beach house.”
\n“Oh, that’s just fine. I’m so happy for you!” He didn’t miss a beat as he continued to check me out, take my payment, and sack up my purchase. The only thing missing was an apron and a garter on his sleeve….maybe sawdust on the floor, penny candy and pickles in barrels by the door.
\nI do so love living in a small town. I am not lacking for anything. This is the life I’ve wanted for at least the last thirty-five years. I was telling Mr. FixIt last night what all I would have wanted to do had we married at 35 instead of 65. I would have had chickens…goats…rabbits…and a barn. Maybe a milk cow. There would have been barn cats and a trusty dog.
\nThere are five beautiful, flat acres here…plenty of room to have that hobby farm I always dreamed of. I think I’m past all that now. Oh, I could still do most of that, but it doesn’t make a bit of sense to invest a bunch of money in fencing and structures at our age. We have different interests now…like, traveling, camping, and not being tied down by animals.
\n![\"Brush](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/566a20f2f9.jpg\")
“The neighbor came and brush hogged the back acre.”
No, this life is perfect just the way it is. Our tractor was delivered today after getting warranty repairs. They just don’t make things like they used to. The guy that brought it out to the Ponderosa showed us how cheaply the wheel sprockets are made. He says they have replaced a lot of them. I went out in the field and mulched most of the leaves that fell in that section. Mr. FixIt lined all the pumpkins and gourds from the wedding all along the driveway. The mums in the backyard are already well past their prime. The leaves are still brightly colored but we are rapidly hitting “past peak” status.
\nWe are already making plans for Thanksgiving and before you know it, Christmas will be here, as well. Even though our lives have a tendency to get busy and hectic, especially in mowing season, there is plenty of downtime to reflect on our many blessings. I hope you all are having a wonderful day! ❤️
\n“Then God said, “Let the land produce vegetation: seed-bearing plants and trees on the land that bear fruit with seed in it, according to their various kinds.” And it was so.” Genesis 1:11 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-11-06T02:30:49-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/11/06/living-in-a-small-town.html", "tags": ["Positive Energy","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Aging","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/10/31/photographic-memories.html", "title": "Photographic Memories", "content_html": "
![\"OBX](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/ad77bb2b7d.jpg\")
“Fishing on the OBX”
Mr. Virgo was quite the photographer. He left me with so many beautiful photos that he took of wildlife. Not to mention so many of the beautiful places we visited together. I cherish those. I really have so few photos of him. It seems he was always the one behind the lens.
\nIt reminds me of a morning shortly after we were married. I was in the bathroom getting ready for the day. My hair was a mess, I hadn’t brushed my teeth or washed my face. I was just standing there looking at my reflection in the mirror…white robe tucked around me, half-lidded eyes, in desperate need for coffee. The house was still. I wondered where he was, when…..click.
\nHe looked up from the viewfinder with such a sweet smile on his face when I whirled around…fire in my eyes. I gave him a short “OMGosh! What are you doing? I’m a mess!” I immediately regretted that when I saw the crestfallen look on his face…the hurt in his eyes.
\nHe rarely took photos of me after that. And certainly not impromptu, candid shots that I wasn’t prepared for. It wasn’t till he was gone that I realized it went so much deeper than just snapping a photo.
\nHe thought I was beautiful.
\nHe saw my beauty when all I could see were flaws. I denied him the pleasure of capturing something he loved to see. Of doing something he loved to do.
\nI learned from that. I’ve learned that if my sweet Mr. FixIt turns the camera in my direction I won’t care what I look like because he sees something I have learned to see for myself these last five or so years. He sees the lines on my face that mean I have had so many opportunities in my life to smile. He sees depth in my eyes that comes from love and loss. He sees silver in my hair that says I’m a wiser woman than I was with Mr. Virgo.
\nPlease don’t fuss when someone wants to take your picture. They want to capture what THEY see…what THEY want to remember about you. Let them. Give them that gift. Unless you’re doing a photo shoot for Vogue, which I very much doubt, what harm is there in messy hair or bleary eyes? They see you through the soft lens of love. What a beautiful thing is that? ❤️
\n“You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you.” The Song of Solomon 4:7 ESV
\n", "date_published": "2018-10-31T01:30:08-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/10/31/photographic-memories.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Grief","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Wisdom","Humbled","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/10/30/grief-love.html", "title": "#Grief \u0026 #Love", "content_html": "![\"Man](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/fccb3c2283.jpg\")
“Mr. FixIt fishing on the Outer Banks.”
This man. This love. There was a tipping point in my grief. That point where you cross a raging river and the bridge collapses after you. You can’t go back. And, once you’ve lived in the new place a while, you know things have changed in your heart. That other place isn’t your home anymore. This is where you belong. Where you were meant to be. The whole exercise made possible because of the sum of your experiences.
\nDo I wish Mr. Virgo hadn’t died? Of course I do. But I live in this world now. This life. This is the phoenix rising.
\nThis man. This love. ❤️
\n“Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.” 1 John 4:7 ESV
\n", "date_published": "2018-10-30T01:30:02-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/10/30/grief-love.html", "tags": ["Family","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Fun","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Love","Wisdom","Be Joyful!","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/10/24/stress-tired-attitude.html", "title": "Stress + Tired = Attitude", "content_html": "![\"Speak](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/ec0366fa5a.jpg\")
“The tongue can wreak havoc in any relationship.”
What do you get when you mix two tired people working hard to meet a deadline? Well, sometimes you get a snarky remark and an even snarkier comeback. Neither of which are constructive or useful. How many times have I written that the tongue can wreak havoc in a relationship? Yet, there I was…Queen of the Snarky Retort.
\nI knew right away I didn’t speak life into the situation. And I immediately went to Mr. FixIt and apologized. Sincerely.
\nWhile this has been a wonderful time with the wedding and all, it’s also been stressful trying to get everything done and we are both desperately looking forward to our time away.
\nIt’s perfectly normal to have moments of frustration when you’re living in close proximity with another human. How you deal with differences says a lot in how successful your relationship will be. Admitting your weaknesses, asking forgiveness, and praying for guidance goes a long way toward maintaining harmony in the home. If you fight, you need to fight fair.
\nMr. FixIt is an extremely easygoing man. He has been understanding when I write every night. He’s a TV watcher. I am a writer. We do our own thing after dinner and reconnect later. That being said, we are about to embark on our honeymoon. And as much as I love you all, and as much as writing is the same as breathing for me, I’ve decided y’all are just going to have to sit this one out. I’m going to schedule a scripture to post everyday while we are gone so you have something to ponder. Please feel free to talk amongst yourselves here on my blog. I love when you all interact and support one another.
\nI’ll be back on Election Day! ❤️
\n“In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry,” Ephesians 4:26 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2018-10-24T01:30:21-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/10/24/stress-tired-attitude.html", "tags": ["Health","Family","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Wisdom","Anger","Forgiveness","Humbled","Presence","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/10/21/live-a-good-life.html", "title": "Live a Good Life", "content_html": "![\"Autumn](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/a8ba6147d5.jpg\")
“Live a Good Life”
When we were decorating the tent for the wedding, I went around the house, the buildings, and the farm looking for decor I could use. There was so much more I could have put out there, but frankly, I realized we were just going to have to haul it all back into the house afterwards. I decided to just keep it simple.
\nI was standing in the kitchen giving some last minute directions to my wonderful friend, Charlotte, when I looked up above the kitchen sink and saw this sign. I took it down and handed it to Mr. FixIt and said, “This goes out by the front of the tent to greet our guests!” It’s our daily reminder to “Live a Good Life.”
\nThis has been the busiest, jam packed week we have had since we started dating. So much has happened, I’ve really just started processing it all. Aside from the changes that come with marriage, and the death of a dear family member, something else has been rattling around in my head wanting attention.
\nIt wasn’t so much what WAS there. It was more…what WASN’T there. Namely, that dogged undercurrent of grief that has simmered just beneath the surface of my life for the last 2,049 days. I know grief is not something you “get over”. I know it’s something you “get through”. It is something you learn to walk around without falling into that giant hole in your heart. It is something you learn to deal with in time. I honestly had no idea it would change with the commitment of another marriage.
\nIt seems the act of marrying has caused a…shift in the force, so to speak. Maybe it’s the high of the wedding itself, but I don’t think so. Maybe it’s a gift from God for being obedient. Maybe it’s a natural progression of things when significant life changes occur. Maybe it’s just the Evolution of Grief.
\nWhen there are significant milestones in life, like your child’s wedding, or the birth of a grandchild, and your person isn’t there, it causes their death to come front and center. You think about how much he would have loved to see that. How much your son or daughter misses their dad. How your grandchild will never know that grandparent. It reminds you of an emptiness.
\nThat was totally missing last weekend.
\nOh, I thought of Mr. Virgo that day. Of course I did. I even had a quiet moment before the wedding when I silently thanked him for having been in my life. However, I wouldn’t have been getting married that day if he were still alive. And, I love Mr. FixIt SO much. I can’t imagine my life without him. It wasn’t like I had to say to myself, “Don’t think of Mr. Virgo!” He just…wasn’t there.
\nThat kind of surprised me, actually. Because, like I said, I honestly didn’t know what to expect. It’s never occurred to me to ask other widows who have remarried how it affected their grief. So, like I’ve done from the beginning, I feel what I feel and I write about it. The feeling has persisted all week. Mr. Virgo is still here, but he’s standing much further away. Because…just as I stepped out the door to walk across the field and marry my sweet Mr. FixIt, I looked up and told Mr. Virgo…”Don’t worry about me now. I’ve got this!” ❤️
\n“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-10-21T01:30:04-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/10/21/live-a-good-life.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","God","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Change","Wedding"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/10/20/a-whirlwind-week.html", "title": "A Whirlwind Week", "content_html": "
![\"Wedding](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/e554329253.jpg\")
“Our photographer know how to capture love and joy!”
I can’t believe it’s been a week since the wedding! So much has happened this week with the cleanup and the funeral and more cleanup! Our friends came by yesterday to get their quilts and extension cords we borrowed. I vacuumed the pool, cleaned house, covered the hay, emptied the truck, made a quiche for supper. And…I got more wedding pictures. I spent all evening playing with them so I didn’t get much else done.
\n![\"Cross\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/13c8039a13.jpg\")
“Our cross.”
I need to get both campers dumped and winterized this weekend. We need to winterize the pool and get the last of the burn pile finished so we can mulch the area with grass seed and hay. We have to mulch the new dogwood tree Mr. FixIt planted for me this summer. There are gutters to be cleaned and trees and brush to be cut and hauled. All before Thursday when we leave for our honeymoon! I’m tired just thinking of it.
\n![\"Happy](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/a6709cd6de.jpg\")
“Happiness is dancing with your new husband!”
So, in the meantime, here are some more wedding photos to enjoy! ❤️
\n![\"Cross](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/1428ec1fcf.jpg\")
“The lucky penny for my shoe, and something old/something new…the blue topaz earrings Daughter #2 gave me years ago.”
“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters,”
\nColossians 3:23 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2018-10-20T01:30:05-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/10/20/a-whirlwind-week.html", "tags": ["Hope","Positive Energy","Fun","West Virginia","Gratitude","Love","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/10/19/a-beautiful-day.html", "title": "A Beautiful Day", "content_html": "![\"Wind](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/3135e09382.jpg\")
“On our way home yesterday, I caught a glimpse of the wind turbines atop a ridge near Elkins. It was an incredibly beautiful day.”
The last two days were perfectly beautiful in the mountains of West Virginia. We left home around 11:00am Wednesday and got to our motel room an hour before the viewing. We hadn’t eaten since early so we went looking for something to eat after the viewing. You have three choices in the little, tiny town of Petersburg…Subway, Pizza Hut, and McDonald’s. We drove fifteen miles to Moorefield, hoping for a restaurant but found nothing we were willing to try. We we ended up buying some sandwich fixings at Food Lion and had a picnic back at the room.
\nThere was no cell service and no WiFi at the motel which was fine by me. I wrote and scheduled Wednesday’s and Thursday’s posts Tuesday night in anticipation of being off the grid. It was really chilly when we got back to the room so I took a hot bath, bundled up, and got under the blankets and caught up with a week’s worth of devotionals. There were four channels on the TV so we turned it off and fell sound asleep by 9:30! Unheard of for us.
\nThe funeral was yesterday at 11:00am. It was a very nice service. They played some songs…Elvis singing Amazing Grace…One Day at a Time. And one other I’ll share with you here.
\nTheirs was a love story, through and through. My uncle told me the first time he set eyes on my aunt, he was smitten. There was a lot going on in 1956. My Uncle Sonny was killed in a plane crash in 1955. Not long after, my Aunt Rosie got married. So, Uncle Dudley and Aunt Viv decided to elope to Oakland, Maryland and get married…in the same place my grandma and grandpa eloped to. Well, when they came home and told everyone…let’s just say, grandma wasn’t very happy about it. She loved Aunt Viv. She just wanted a wedding.
\nThat was the start of 62 years of devotion. I remember their love as being full of fun and laughter and playfulness. I sat behind him at the funeral and when they played this song, he bowed his head. His shoulders shook slightly from his silent tears. The only other time I remember him crying was when I called to tell him Mr. Virgo died. It broke my heart.
\nAs they played “Love, Me” by Colin Raye, I listened to the lyrics and realized the song was about their love. And I cried along with him. For broken hearts. For lost loves.
\nThe funeral procession wound its way through the hills and countryside till the terrain opened into an expansive valley. We turned left and climbed the hill to the tent that was erected over her grave. My uncle had just purchased these plots last week. They had decided over the years they really didn’t like the cemetery where they had purchased plots years ago but they just hadn’t gotten around to getting the new ones. Oh, my! The view was absolutely stunning. My aunt rests high on a hillside overlooking magnificent farmland. Black angus cattle dot the landscape in the verdant green fields. The hardwoods of the forests surrounding the valley were just beginning to hint of the glorious burst of color coming in the next two weeks.
\nAfterwards, we gathered at the fellowship hall at the church and had one of those wonderful meals country church women fix after a funeral. Hearty, comfort food and lots of love flowed around those tables and we left reminded we are family. Our bonds run as deep as the cool springs in these Appalachian hills. The blood of our shared ancestors keep us connected far beyond the pages of Facebook. We promised to keep in touch with those we seldom see. We promised to bring something special to this year’s Thanksgiving dinner.
\nMr. FixIt and I drove quietly through the hills, holding hands…our minds no doubt remembering we aren’t newlyweds at 25 and 26. We are newlyweds at 65 and 66. Our time together won’t be 62 years…but what time we DO have will be filled with fun and laughter and playfulness…just like my aunt and uncle’s marriage. I’m grateful for their example. I’m grateful for the opportunity to love like them. I’m just grateful for every day.
\n\n❤️
\n“Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth.”
\n2 Timothy 2:15 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2018-10-19T01:30:08-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/10/19/a-beautiful-day.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Grief","Hope","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","God","Wisdom","Courage","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/10/17/here-comes-the-bride.html", "title": "Here Comes the Bride", "content_html": "![\"Bride\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/e7004d7ea3.jpg\")
“One of my favorite moments…locking eyes with a fellow widow whom I mentored…knowing we BOTH have found our second-chance loves.”
It all went so fast. Here we are, just a few days after the wedding and I don’t remember all the details. That happens to every bride, I think. You throw so much into the planning, and so many last minute details happen the day of the wedding. Friends and family came at 2:00 to help me get ready. The ceremony was at 4:00. The girls were still messing with my hair when I asked the time. 3:20! I still hadn’t put on make up or dressed!
\nI don’t wear a lot of make up ordinarily…and when I do, it’s not much. Throwing that on was no big deal. I slipped on my boots and my new daughter and granddaughter helped me into my dress. In no time at all, I was ready. The music wasn’t. I told them I didn’t care…I’d walk out singing “Here Comes the Bride” if I had to…I was ready….REALLY ready!
\nThey helped me out to the tent…one carrying my train…the other hoping for the music to start. And, it did! Just as I got to the tent, I looked up and there was my sweet friend, Deneene. She was one of what looked like a whole sea of smiles and cell phones pointed at me. I looked at her with a knowing smile. You see, Deneene was referred to me when she was a relatively new widow herself. I was a couple of years ahead of her. I mentored her for the next couple of years. I was for her what I wished I’d had. Someone who had recently walked the path and could relate. Someone who could say this is perfectly normal. Someone to hold out a hand…not to pat it, but to offer a lift up. Then, Deneene met HER new love. And we walked this new territory together. She caught that knowing look in this picture. I think it is one of my favorites. Because I’m looking at another widow in love. I’m looking at my friend that helped me as much as I helped her. I’m looking at hope and joy and strength and perseverance and courage and reflecting it all back.
\nWe all are nothing more than the sum of our life experiences. I was ready to marry…every time I married. But I didn’t know then what I know now. Now I know what love is. I know how fragile life is. I know how to face the unimaginable and still live. I know how to live alone when it’s impossible to breathe. I know how rare it is to find someone so incredibly compatible. I know SO much more than I knew when I married Mr. Virgo. This man, this love, this marriage will reap the benefits of that knowledge and experience. I am so grateful to be where I am today. It is only through God’s grace and love that I found my way through the darkness. There may still be darkness ahead…but now there is hope. ❤️
\n“And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen.”
\n1 Peter 5:10-11 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-10-17T01:30:13-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/10/17/here-comes-the-bride.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Hope","Positive Energy","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Wisdom","Courage","Peaceful Moments","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!","Wedding"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/10/16/the-harder-side-of-love.html", "title": "The Harder Side of Love", "content_html": "
![\"Holding](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/6bfa10efb4.jpg\")
“This is what true love looks like.”
“Love bears all things [regardless of what comes], believes all things [looking for the best in each one], hopes all things [remaining steadfast during difficult times], endures all things [without weakening].” 1 CORINTHIANS 13:7 AMP\nI received a call Sunday that my sweet Aunt Viv crossed over to meet our Lord. Aunt Viv has always had a heart of gold. I remember her holding Daughter #2 on her lap and singing “Jesus Loves Me” to her when she was just a bitty thing.\n
Aunt Viv met my Uncle “Dudley” when they were in high school. She was a majorette. He was on the football team. They both had excellent role models growing up and their marriage was built to last. Like my grandparents, my aunt and uncle sit beside each other and hold hands. It’s precious to see.
\nAs Aunt Viv slid further and further into dementia, I encouraged my uncle to at least consider respite care so he could get some sleep. The last two years have been terribly difficult and he often went for days on very little sleep. They did finally get some help in the form of home health care, but he pooh-poohed the idea of placing his sweetheart somewhere other than the home they built together.
\nThe other night I was having my quiet meditation time. I read my devotionals and had a quiet conversation with God.
\n“Lord, I am about to be married again. There were times in my past marriages when I wasn’t very good to my husband. Can you help me be a better wife? Can you show me what that means?”
\nImmediately this picture popped into my head and I went through my phone to find it. Suddenly, I had this brilliant insight. Here I was, encouraging my uncle to send his beloved wife away when God was using him to show us all what true, Godly love looks like. He was showing us what “in sickness and in health” really means. I was humbled and ashamed. I immediately wanted to hug my sweet uncle and thank him for being the excellent role model he was and to apologize for ever speaking to him in such a way. What an amazing, strong man.
\nThis is not to say there is anything wrong with people who make the difficult choice to put their loved one in a nursing home. Everyone has their own beliefs and abilities and no one should ever be made to feel guilty for having made that decision. It takes a lot out of a person to do what my uncle has done. I hate that he is so worn down. But I love that he stuck by his bride and held her hand for sixty-two years…right to the end. I think there will be an extra star in his crown when he joins her one day. ❤️
\n", "date_published": "2018-10-16T01:30:19-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/10/16/the-harder-side-of-love.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Hope","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","God","Wisdom","Courage","Humbled","Aging","Presence","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/10/13/sparkles-and-sunshine.html", "title": "Sparkles and Sunshine", "content_html": "![\"Sparkly](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/10c7f09daf.jpg\")
“My fancy earrings from Daughter #2…perfect for the wedding!”
“Always be humble, gentle, and patient, accepting each other in love. You are joined together with peace through the Spirit, so make every effort to continue together in this way.” Ephesians 4:2-3 NCV\nOur good friends, Dianne and Bobby came over to the Ponderosa yesterday and helped us decorate the tent for the wedding. We moved the forty bails of hay and made rows of seating. We strung five hundred white twinkle lights above. We set up the serving tables and hung the cross at the front. We have the extra bales out front and I finally found a use for these two pieces of rustic decorative fencing I’ve had for years. The quilts are all in plastic tubs to keep from gathering moisture. The pulled pork goes in a slow oven in the morning and the fried chicken goes in the smoker to heat up.\n
The soft drinks and water are already in the big galvanized washtubs chilling outdoors overnight and ice will be added in the afternoon. My sweet friend Deneene came from South Carolina and arrived at 4:30. We went to town to fill up two big propane tanks for TOW-Wanda because I ran out of propane in the middle of the night. It was REALLY cold by morning! We dropped the tanks back off at the Ponderosa then we went to the farm to get Mr. FixIt’s white dinner jacket. As I was leaving I saw my mom’s quilt peeking out from under a stack of linens and grabbed it. I also brought the big box of fireworks we bought for the wedding.
\nAnd now, the day is here. I found a bag with a bunch of jewelry in it when I was at the farm yesterday. Last night I was showing my friend Deneene something in the bag and ran across these earrings. Daughter #2 bought me these for Christmas many years ago. I never had an occasion to wear time so they have been tucked away in a safe place…just waiting for the most special occasion. I sent my daughter this picture and asked if she remembered these. I told her I finally have a special occasion to wear them. You’re supposed to have something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue. I haven’t borrowed anything yet, but the center stone in these earrings is the palest ice blue topaz, they’re old in that I’ve had them for years and they’re new in that I have never worn them. My daughter said that made her all fuzzy inside. I wish my girls could be here. But we will celebrate when we get to Colorado next.
\nToday! TODAY!!! I’m marrying my best friend today. The sweetest man on the planet. I’ve never been more ready, more prepared.
\n“Thank you, Jesus…for every gift, every blessing, every friend and family member. Bless those who cannot join us today. Bless my cousin Tom and his wife Suzy as he fights the ravages of mesothelioma. Bless my Uncle Bud and cousins as they sit with their wife and mother as she inches toward her final journey home. And Bless all these wonderful people who come here to read about how You impact my life. Lord, thank you for the gift of love from Mr. Virgo. Thank you for letting lightning strike twice and bringing me Mr FixIt. This is a love affair for the ages!
\nAnd, as always…To God be the Glory.
\nAmen”
\n❤️
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-10-13T01:30:02-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/10/13/sparkles-and-sunshine.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Fun","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!","Starting Over","Wedding"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/10/12/the-side-effects-of-obedience.html", "title": "The Side Effects of Obedience", "content_html": "
![\"Sunset\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/9559411218.jpg\")
“Sunset over the Ponderosa.”
“And love means living the way God commanded us to live. As you have heard from the beginning, his command is this: Live a life of love.” 2 John 1:6 NCV\nI went to small group from church last night. We have a fall series and a spring series of meetings. There are different groups to fill different needs and we are all encouraged to join a small group. In a huge church, it’s difficult to feel a bond with individual members of the church family. Small group gives us the chance to make friends, learn from God’s Word, and experience fellowship. I love the gals in my small group. We always have great discussions and we always share praises and prayers at the end.\n
It’s been four weeks since Mr. FixIt and I decided to get married and set the date. Four weeks since I made the decision to live separately from him till the wedding. Even though I came back to the Ponderosa last week, I’ve been staying in TOW-Wanda. I was chatting with the gals at small group about it and got to thinking on the drive home about how this exercise has changed me.
\nFirst…I just FEEL different. It’s hard to describe. I feel honorable. Obedient. Peaceful. Good…in that good way you feel when you have done the right thing. It wasn’t easy. And it wasn’t necessarily comfortable. Some didn’t understand why I was doing this. That offered me the opportunity to share. I’ve had the opportunity to pray with others over this. I have even been an example to one woman who had a thought then heard my testimony and realized God was answering her question.
\nSometimes the decision to be obedient to God has as much to do with the people in your path as it does to you yourself. God orchestrates our lives and places us where He needs us. We miss the opportunity to experience the blessings from that if we choose to ignore the prodding, the poking, the whispering of the Holy Spirit. I’m really glad I’ve done this. It has given our wedding a new depth and meaning.
\nThe whole time I lived here before this, Mr. FixIt always talked about this being “our house”. And, while we did make some changes and redecorated, try as I might…I couldn’t get past considering it HIS house. Now, one of the side effects of my obedience is seeing this place as our home. Not HIS house…our HOME. Big difference.
\nYesterday was rainy and we just did some things around the house. I picked up my wedding band from the jeweler. It is purposefully different. When I tried it on, my mind flashed back to my last wedding band. I smiled.
\nMr. FixIt shampooed carpets. I took the pulled pork out of the freezer and put it into the fridge in the garage to thaw. We sat down and made some lists. We have friends coming today to help decorate the tent and whatever else we need to do. Mr. FixIt will go to town and pick up some food items we need for the reception. I have to run to the farm because we left his white dinner jacket out there.
\nWe are organized. We are (fairly) rested and relaxed. And, we are SO excited!
\nOMGosh! You guys….TOMORROW!!!!! ❤️
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-10-12T01:30:03-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/10/12/the-side-effects-of-obedience.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Positive Energy","TOW-Wanda!","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Choices","Change","Wedding"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/10/07/the-glory-of-love.html", "title": "The Glory of Love", "content_html": "
![\"Sunset\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/ee3b95ba0c.jpg\")
“Sunset over the Ponderosa.”
“Therefore, since we have these [great and wonderful] promises, beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, completing holiness [living a consecrated life--a life set apart for God’s purpose] in the fear of God.” 2 CORINTHIANS 7:1 AMP\nWhat beautiful sunsets we get to see here on the Ponderosa! I was just heading back in the house after dining al fresco with Mr. FixIt when I notice the light changing. I turned around and caught this. With the hill behind the house, we don’t catch the setting sun itself. However, if there are clouds, you can catch the reflection and oftentimes it is so stunning it takes you breath away.\n
I got a bit of a late start this morning and by the time I got out to clean the smoker, it was already 88 degrees. Sitting in the sun scrubbing furiously is all it took to knock me down. I had to go lay down in the air conditioning in TOW-Wanda till it cooled off outside and I cooled off inside. We drove to town for a couple of things and picked up hamburger for supper. Mr. FixIt tried to burn the brush pile again and it just will not burn. Too green, too wet…who knows? Not sure what we’re going to do now with two charred piles of blackened brush. Some will burn…just not much. I finished the inside of the smoker at dark and will clean the racks tomorrow while Mr. FixIt bowls.
\nMy good friend Diane hunted down some hay for me so we’re picking that up this afternoon after church. Now I’m on the hunt for some cutter quilts. A friend of mine told me where I might find some. Now it’s just a matter of having the time to go look. sigh
\nAs you can see in the picture, TOW-Wanda is tucked in there under the maple tree by the building. I’m staying out there till the wedding. I am determined to see this through. A commitment is a commitment.
\nI’m looking forward to church today. I need the break…and the soothing calm I get from worshiping with our church family. I am not at all nervous about the wedding or marrying Mr. FixIt. There is just so much we would like to get done beforehand. We were talking as we drove to town last night. I suggested we go get massages before the wedding. Don’t you think that would be a lovely idea?
\nSix days!!!!! ❤️
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-10-07T01:30:18-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/10/07/the-glory-of-love.html", "tags": ["Faith","Positive Energy","Fun","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Wedding"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/10/03/instant-gratification.html", "title": "Instant Gratification", "content_html": "
![\"Monarch](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/5abc39baad.jpg\")
“The only monarch butterfly I have seen in WV in the four years I’ve been back, and it was lying dead in the field. I was to harvest milkweed pods this year and try to bring some monarchs back.”
“I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.”\n\nSo, yesterday I told you I’m a “risk-taking storyteller”. I’m sure it’s no surprise to any of you who have been following me for some time if I tell you…I am also “Instant Gratification Girl”! If I can’t get it done yesterday, I’ve been known to pitch a hissy fit. Patience has never been my forte. \nEphesians 4:1-3 ESV
I stopped praying for patience a long time ago when I figured out God was sending me MANY situations in which to practice. I know I’m not fooling Him one bit, but I do thank Him for what little patience I DO have.
\nI may have told you this story before. I’ve told so many, it’s hard to remember. When I was a little girl, I desperately wanted a pair of black, patent leather Mary Janes. Mom took me to the shoe store and the only pair they had left was a half size too small. When my mom told the man we’d keep looking. I had a major meltdown. To my little overdramatic self, that meant I would NEVER, EVER get them! Mom caved and bought them for me and forced me to wear them for a month till I was broken of that behavior.
\nWell, maybe.
\nMonday evening, I went over to Mr. FixIt’s and mowed till it got too dark to do it safely. I went in to get a cold drink and was sitting on the sofa when I saw them. An army of stink bugs! Do you think either of us could have possibly remembered what arrives in WV on the 1st of October? Nooooooo. Hot on their stinky little heels will be the Asian Lady Bugs. Oy! Both of these little boogers swarm en masse and I can just imagine myself walking down the aisle looking like a Ninja as they swarm and land in my hair!
\nBreathe.
\nOmmmmmmmMyGosh!!!!
\nI put an urgent message out on FB. “Is there anything to keep these things at bay for a few hours?” I got lots of suggestions, including changing the wedding date. No! Absolutely not! I want my “patent leather shoes”, darn it!
\nHere’s how I’m going to deal with this. We’ve managed to pull together a beautiful wedding in less than a month. The average cost of a wedding in the US today is $27,000. Ours is going to be gorgeous for far less than 10% of that. (Did I tell you I used to do this for a living? Mr. Virgo taught me well!) Everything is ordered. The tent comes the 10th giving us plenty of time to decorate it. I’m going to smoke the pork butts this weekend for the pulled pork, bag it and pop it in the freezer till Wednesday. Then late Saturday morning it goes in a slow oven to finish off. I have plenty of helpers coming that Friday and Saturday. I have a final fitting on the dress next Wednesday and it will be ready to pick up Friday. We can get the coleslaw and buns that afternoon. The sodas go in the fridge Friday and on ice in the galvanized tubs Saturday. The photographer arrives at 2:00. The cake gets delivered at 3:00.
\nSee? Everything that I CAN control is under control. The rest of it I can do nothing about. Weather OR bugs. And…it will be perfect. I was thinking about this “instant gratification” thing and my word for the year….presence…popped into my head. This is my last wedding. Seriously. I’m never doing this again. I want to stay in the moment and memorize it all. We want to enjoy this, not stress out about it. So, that’s just what I’m going to do.
\nI really didn’t like those patent leather Mary Janes anyway. ❤️
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-10-03T01:30:13-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/10/03/instant-gratification.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Presence","Peaceful Moments","Choices","Change","Wedding"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/10/02/im-a-risktaking-storyteller.html", "title": "I’m a Risk-taking Storyteller", "content_html": "
![\"Inspired](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/b894b6b5cb.jpg\")
“I am willing to risk being wrong.”
“He who observes the wind will not sow, and he who regards the clouds will not reap. As you do not know the way the spirit comes to the bones in the womb of a woman with child, so you do not know the work of God who makes everything. In the morning sow your seed, and at evening withhold not your hand, for you do not know which will prosper, this or that, or whether both alike will be good. Light is sweet, and it is pleasant for the eyes to see the sun. So if a person lives many years, let him rejoice in them all; but let him remember that the days of darkness will be many. All that comes is vanity.” \n\nLet’s face it…I’m a risk-taker. I wasn’t always. I stood at the edge of many a precipice, leaning forward just enough to deem the venture far too scary to attempt. And, being a perfectionist compounded the issue with my “If I can’t overachieve, I will not try” personality. This has kept me from experiencing many incredible moments that, at the very least would have been entertaining, and more than likely would have changed my life. But, change wasn’t something I was interested in. \nEcclesiastes 11:4-8 ESV
I remember when my 20-year marriage was falling apart. I had been in therapy for depression stemming from a past filled with abuse, both to me and by me. Sexual abuse. Emotional abuse. Alcohol abuse. Prescription abuse. When my ex-husband was at the end of his rope, he had some therapy of his own to gain the tools he needed to take care of himself. He was changing right in front of me and it scared me more than anything else had. Because I knew where this was headed. My long-standing abandonment issues assured me I would be alone and destitute and living on the streets. Of course, that never happened, but I distinctly remember him saying something to me and asking him just how much he was going to change because I didn’t like it. I can look back on that moment now and realize he was actually saving my life, but at the time, I was horrified.
\nWhen I found myself dangling by the end of my own rope, I was forced to change or die. I’d love to say it was an easy choice and I moved right on by the huge crevasse that had opened in my life, but that was not the case. I overdosed and came as close to death as I care to go at this point in my life. And that was, as they say, the bottom of the barrel.
\nI wasn’t a Christian yet, but I saw a tunnel before me of the most beautiful shade of cobalt blue surrounded with rays of gold…like a giant eclipse of the sun. While I was in this tunnel, my dead grandma came to me and stood by my side. She sternly told me, “Get back down there, young lady! You have work to do!” It took me five years and the death of my mother and the prayers of some really great people to find Jesus and my life changed in an instant. Not that my circumstances were ideal and I didn’t still struggle. I did. But I felt every cell in my body come alive and become new. It was…THE change. The really BIG change.
\nMy fear level plummeted. I became a risk taker. After two failed marriages, Mr. Virgo came into my life and I plunged off the cliff of a third marriage holding hands with a wonderful man. We enjoyed seven years of this bliss before he died suddenly as we were planning our golden years. Grief chiseled me into who I am today. Stronger, to be sure. Softer, more empathetic. Grief became my story…and I’m an avid storyteller.
\nNow, here I am…about to jump off the cliff again. My fourth marriage. I swear, it’s my LAST marriage. Daughter #1 has taken to calling me “Liz”. Someone asked me the other day if I was scared. My answer was, “Heck no! I’m marrying my very best friend whom I’ve known for fifty years. Bring it on!” I realized a couple of days later what she meant….
\nWas I scared of losing Mr. FixIt like I lost Mr. Virgo?
\nI pondered. This is why no one likes to talk about death and grief. It hits too darned close to home. Am I worried that Mr. FixIt will drop dead in front of me? I’d be lying if I said no. Am I willing to risk going through loss and grief again so that I can experience the love of another wonderful man? Absolutely! And you know why I say that? Because, I’m a risk-taker now. Ever since I laid everything on the line for Jesus, I’ve been firmly in the camp of “I’m willing to risk being wrong.” It took me 14 months of being engaged to Mr. FixIt to prepare for this marriage. It took standing up and adding the caveat of living separately for the month before the wedding as a sacrifice and atonement for living together before we were married. And it took the assurance of a loving God that He will always and forever have my back in all things I do. I will not be afraid.
\nThey say God will catch you and teach to you fly. I am sure there will be many flying lessons ahead, but it’s a risk I’m willing to take and a story I’m willing to tell. ❤️
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-10-02T01:30:31-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/10/02/im-a-risktaking-storyteller.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Choices","Starting Over","Wedding"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/10/01/the-devolution-of-man.html", "title": "The Devolution of Man", "content_html": "
![\"Fog\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/0ea5d1b829.jpg\")
“Foggy morning at the farm.”
I’m a scientist at heart. I’ve worked in medicine since I was 17 years old. I was married to a doctor for 21 years. I am a Christian. And the question of creation versus evolution is hard for me to answer completely. As a scientist, I have seen empirical evidence of evolution. It’s difficult for me to argue with DNA and carbon dating and fossils. As a Christian, I believe that God spoke the world into existence and breathed life into all things. When we read the Bible, we are interpreting it through our current base of experiences and knowledge. We read Genesis 1:26 “Let us make man in our image.” Was God talking literally? As in, the way we look today? Humans look different than they did even a thousand years ago. We are taller and certainly bigger than our distant ancestors. So, was He speaking metaphorically? Spiritually? Was He talking about attributes we are familiar with in this day and age? Was there a Big Bang? What is time? Is it measured precisely as it was in the beginning? Was a day exactly 24 hours and a year exactly 365 days? I don’t know the answer to all of these questions because, while I am continuing to learn and grow in my faith, I have not seen God personally. I experience God daily. That is different. I will leave these questions to those who are far better educated than I. Someday, we will know.
\nMy point today is not the “e”volution of man, but the “d”evolution. Devolution is defined as “perversion; deterioration of morality.” I think we can all agree this is what we are seeing on the daily in the news and on all forms of social media. It doesn’t matter which side of the aisle you sit on. It doesn’t matter what your faith, race, sexual identity, nationality, level of education, IQ, or genetic makeup is…there’s something decidedly crazy going on in the world. I’m not sure our country has seen this level of divisiveness since the ‘50s or ‘60s.
\nHere’s just one small example that I ran across the other day. There is a meme going around on FB that shows President Clinton with a blonde woman with a caption “Bill Clinton and Dr. Ford” with “WELL, WELL, WELL” written across it. Intimating what, exactly? Collusion? A mass conspiracy in the ‘90s to supplant a Supreme Court nominee sometime in the year 2018? I don’t know. The woman in the photo is actually Senator Kirsten Gillibrand, a Democrat and a Senator from New York. Ok…memes happen all the time. Right, Left, true, false…whatever. While these things are irresponsible and show a lack of even a basic level of curiosity as to the veracity of the information being openly disseminated, my biggest problem is the responses they generate.
\nPeople I know…or, thought I knew. People who went to school with me. People who claim to be Christians. People who fight for the proper treatment of animals but absolutely, openly, viciously trash human beings who believe differently than they do. In the last couple of years, it seems we (and by “we”, I mean the collective “we”) have lost our ability to govern our tongues. The very people who are furious that God has been taken out of the classroom are lashing out with a vengeance at…I don’t know…everybody. I can let it make me crazy or depressed or angry. Or, I can choose to take the high road. I can check my own tongue and moral compass. Let me just drop a few lines from life’s instruction manual…
\nWhoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble. Proverbs 21:23
\nLet no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. Ephesians 4:29
\nA soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1
\nThere is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. Proverbs 12:18
\nSet a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips! Psalm 141:3
\nHere’s a good one…If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless. James 1:26
\nKeep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking deceit. Psalm 34:13
\nOh, I love this one…Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent. Proverbs 17:28
\nDeath and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits. 1 Peter 3:10
\nA gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit. Proverbs 15:4
\nHas your spirit felt broken by the words of others? I know the easiest answer of all would be to get off social media altogether, but like it or not, this is how many of us keep in touch with friends and family. Oh, you can hide the posts. You can scroll right on past and not engage. But that doesn’t solve the problem. That doesn’t improve matters. That doesn’t swing our moral compass back toward true north.
\nIt’s a “sticky wicket”, as they say in England. It’s not an easy thing to do. We aren’t the moral police meaning we can’t force others to bend at our will, as they are perhaps trying to bend ours. But what we CAN do is be a light in the world. We can live by example. We cannot change others, but we can show a different way to be. And remember, the instruction manual also says this…
\nBrothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Galatians 6:1
\nAs for a person who stirs up division, after warning him once and then twice, have nothing more to do with him, knowing such a person is warped and sinful; he is self-condemned. Titus 3:10-11
\nIf you’re looking for me, I’ll be cleaning up my friends list now. ❤️
\n", "date_published": "2018-10-01T01:30:05-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/10/01/the-devolution-of-man.html", "tags": ["Faith","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Positive Energy","Grace","God","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Courage","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/09/29/he-who-lives-in-me.html", "title": "He Who Lives in Me...", "content_html": "![\"Rustic](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/a3dfe2f8a1.jpg\")
“A rustic cross is just what we need to turn our tent into a House of God.”
“Little children, you are from God and have overcome them, for he who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.” 1 John 4:4 ESV\nI ran a million errands yesterday. Ok...it just FELT like a million. I needed thread and some sewing scissors to sew the lace extension on my wedding dress. (It’s not quite as long as I want.) I had to take all the stuff I bought yesterday over to Mr. FixIt’s and pick up the sewing machine and my wedding dress. Then I noticed a package I was expecting wasn’t delivered because I wasn’t there. I picked up the pink slip out of the mailbox and headed to the post office. On and on and on.\n
My last stop was at Pat Catan’s…the craft store in town. I wasn’t sure what I was looking for. I have an idea for a banner or something but I just can’t quite make up my mind. Then I saw this rustic cross. I thought it would be perfect to hang over the spot we stand with the pastor. (We have a pastor!) We aren’t getting married in a church, but we can sure bring God into the tent! As I was checking out, the clerk said, “Wow. You just bought this cross and, I don’t quite know how to tell you…you saved $6.66!” Without missing a beat, I smiled and said…”He who lives in me is greater than he who lives in the world. He doesn’t scare me!”
\nI didn’t take the receipt, though.
\nWhat I did do this week was disconnect from the media for awhile. As a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, I found way too many triggers everywhere I turned. Instead…I threw all my focus on this gentle man I am about to marry. Avoidance oF the media surrounding the event does not mean I am uninformed or uncaring. It just means I know my limits and I had reached mine by the end of the Cosby sentencing. This world breaks my heart sometimes. Will there ever be a time when we are less…divided, angry, hateful?
\nI may be weary of all this, but I am not fearful. Fear is from the enemy. He will whisper and tell you all is lost. Don’t believe him! WALK STRONG! ❤️
\n“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” Psalms 23:4 ESV\n", "date_published": "2018-09-29T01:30:28-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/09/29/he-who-lives-in-me.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","West Virginia","Gratitude","Grace","God","Wisdom","Humbled","Wedding"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/09/27/not-today-devil.html", "title": "Not Today, Devil!", "content_html": "
![\"Sunset\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/5ff68dfe2a.jpg\")
“I think Mr. Virgo was smiling at me today!”
“And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, \"This is the way, walk in it,\" when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left.” Isaiah 30:21 ESV\nFor those of you who have been reading this blog from the beginning, you will remember my reticence to mention God in my posts. I was very, very busy trying to make sure I didn’t offend anyone. And, of course, that is still very much my focus. But as time has passed, I have let God into my writing more and more. I always SAID I was a faith-based writer, but I really wasn’t walking the talk. That all changed one day when I got a text from God in church. That was a great story. Anyway, I’m all about Jesus anymore and I just let out what needs to come out and I don’t worry so much about it anymore.\n
Our Pastor frequently talks about what happens when you are truly a Christ follower. What happens when you make God the center of your life. He always says, “If you put God at the center of your life…are truly following him with all your heart…watch out! Because there’s nothing the enemy hates more than someone putting God before anything else. He attacks and causes all kinds of destruction and whispers lies 24/7 trying to convince you if God REALLY loved you…these bad things wouldn’t be happening. And, of course, it isn’t true. Nothing the enemy says is true.
\nMr. FixIt’s truck had a recall and when they started tearing it apart, they found all kinds of other things wrong. He’s going up today to have a look at it with the mechanics and make a decision. Then, after I helped Mr. FixIt with some things around The Ponderosa yesterday, I drove to the farm. By the time I got there, my wheels were squealing really loud. I had hit a pot hole on this wretched road just before, so I have no idea what’s going on.
\nI know exactly what is happening here. I was led by God to do the right thing and moved back to the farm till after the wedding. I can feel it to my bones that it’s the right thing to do. And then…the enemy strikes! First, Mr. FixIt’s truck then mine. In the week after we put God first. It is so clear. However, I’ll tell you like my friend, DaShara says…”Not today, Devil…I am a Child of God!”
\nI know we’re on the right path. And the enemy can throw roadblocks up every step of the way, but we will persevere. We will not be deterred by the likes of him! He who lives within me is greater than he who lives in the world. Everything will work out with an even greater outcome than previously imagined. Amen! ❤️
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-09-27T01:30:57-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/09/27/not-today-devil.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","West Virginia","The Farm","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Change","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/09/26/a-tangled-web.html", "title": "A Tangled Web", "content_html": "
![\"Web\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/087907a554.jpg\")
“Sin starts out easily enough and soon ensnares you in a tangled web.”
“I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord. If anyone thinks that he is not behaving properly toward his betrothed, if his passions are strong, and it has to be, let him do as he wishes: let them marry—it is no sin. But whoever is firmly established in his heart, being under no necessity but having his desire under control, and has determined this in his heart, to keep her as his betrothed, he will do well.” 1 Corinthians 7:32-37 ESV\nAs you may remember, I lived twenty-seven years of my life as a practicing Jew, so I am quite familiar with the Days of Awe or the High Holy Days. This is the period of time from Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, and Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement. The dates vary year to year because the Jewish calendar is based on the lunar cycle so it doesn’t match up with the calendar we use daily. This year, Rosh Hashanah starts on September 29th and Yom Kippur is October 8th. It is not a coincidence that this holy time coincides with the days leading up to our wedding.\n
The High Holy days is a time of reflection and meditation. While Jews pray for their name to be in the Book of Life for the New Year, Yom Kippur is a solemn day of fasting and prayer, a day of atonement when you ask God to forgive you of your sins. When I made the decision to marry Mr. FixIt because I was feeling wrong living with him without being married, I had no idea the High Holy Days were coming up.
\nI have been staying at the farm by myself for the last week. This is my time of atonement. Being away from my sweetheart isn’t easy, but it is a “fasting”, of sorts. I can’t quite find the words to describe what is happening within my heart as I go through these days without him before we marry.
\nOne may say, “Oh, you’ve lived together all this time. What’s the difference now?”
\nWell, it is one thing to do something wrong because you were unaware it was sinful. It’s quite another to know it is wrong, then do it anyway. I may be late to the party on this one…but I’ve shown up and suited up. I’ve made a commitment. And I have to say, I am honored by Mr. FixIt’s respect for my decision. Like he said, I am my own woman…I don’t need anyone’s permission to do something, married or not. I know he’s not as enthusiastic about this as I am, but I appreciate his patience and understanding. I think we are both gaining something from the experience.
\nSin is a tangled web we can so easily get snared in. Seeking solitude for prayer and meditation has helped me sweep away some cobwebs of my own making. And having a clean slate upon which to build our foundation just feels better to me. I am not being judgmental of others and their personal choices. I speak of what is in my heart. ❤️
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-09-26T01:30:40-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/09/26/a-tangled-web.html", "tags": ["Faith","Overcoming Obstacles","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Wisdom","Choices","Wedding"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/09/25/a-change-of-status.html", "title": "A Change of Status", "content_html": "
![\"Engagement](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/a0bcb8dcaa.jpg\")
“The change from “widow” to “engaged” deserves a moment of reflection.”
““Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” Matthew 7:7 NIV\nI did something monumental yesterday. I changed my relationship status on Facebook from “widow” to “engaged”. Ok, in the grand scheme of things, that’s not really monumental...but it IS, you know?\n
Some people change their relationship status like they change their shoes. I remember that first attempt at “dating” after Mr. Virgo died. It was (I’m embarrassed to say) only five months after he died. I know, I know. Plenty of my friends and my family were like…”WTH are you DOING???” What I was doing was putting a tourniquet on my hemorrhaging heart. I went so far as to change my relationship status and knew immediately that was a HUGE error in judgment. Let’s face it…when you are grieving, good judgment goes out the window for quite some time.
\nIt wasn’t long till the status went back to “widow” and there it has stayed for the last five years. When I tell my story, I start out with “My husband and I had decided life was too short to wait for retirement to have some fun…” Always the same. I’ve had people misunderstand my story for “wallowing in my grief”. That isn’t it at all…at least not after a couple of years. I tell my story so that others may not feel so alone in their grief. So that others may learn that when grief strikes, you don’t have to crawl into a ball and stay there forever. I tell my story to give people hope that there is life in spite of grief.
\nIt’s not like I haven’t thought about changing my status before now. After all, Mr. FixIt and I have been engaged for over a year. And, it has nothing to do with my feelings for him. I love him dearly and want to be with him the rest of my life. It’s just five little letters, but widow is what I’ve related to for five-and-a-half years. It does not define me anymore, but it will always be a part of who I am. I was fiddling around on Facebook yesterday and just had this flash.
\n“You’re getting married in nineteen days, girlfriend. It’s time.” Without giving it a second thought, I went from “widow” to “engaged”. Then I sat and looked at it. Wow. This is huge. Yet, not. Yet, it is. I’m finally ready to put “widow” in second place. And now, when I tell my Mr. Virgo story, it will start out with “My late-husband and I decided…”
\nI’m making a concerted shift in consciousness. My focus will be more forward-thinking. My posts will have lots of new stories and color and joy and adventure. It feels like I’m leaving something behind, though. That’s one reason I’ve been staying over at the farm alone a lot lately. I need some alone time to process that. To package it up and set it on a shelf. I can still reach it. I can still take it out and look at it. I’m just not going to sit with it in my lap so much. This is all about healing and moving forward and letting go. The shift from one status to the other deserves a moment of honor and reflection. It’s good. It’s all so very good. ❤️
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-09-25T01:30:40-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/09/25/a-change-of-status.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Growth","Gratitude","Love","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Change","Starting Over","Wedding"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/09/24/the-feeling-of-prayers.html", "title": "The Feeling of Prayers", "content_html": "
![\"Feathered](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/84a08fe035.jpg\")
“When someone prays for me, it’s like a thousand feathered angel wings wrapping around me.”
“Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.” Colossians 4:2 NIV\nI will never forget when my friend Bill told me I was on his daily prayer list ever since the overdose at the end of my second marriage. I was...stunned. Here he was, a busy Emergency Room physician and a missionary in a country and location they could not reveal for fear of being killed. And I was on his daily prayer list? \n
When I finally became a Christian in 2005, the first people I told were my neighbors, Bob and Ellie. I asked them over, sat them on the couch, and told them I had accepted Christ as my personal Savior. They both immediately burst into tears and said, “Oh, we both have been praying so hard for you!”
\nWhen I revealed on Saturday that Mr. FixIt and I were getting married and shared the reason why, several of you told me you had been praying for me to hear God’s whispers and do what was right.
\nThis was astonishing to me. I have prayed for countless people and circumstances, but I don’t think about others praying FOR me. Maybe my safety and comfort and good circumstances actually came because of the prayers of others. My grandma comes to mind. I can guarantee she prayed for me. Many times.
\nHindsight tells me the gradual discomfort I felt when I was someplace on my journey I shouldn’t have been was at least partially due to the prayers of others trying to lead me back home. I once asked you here to pray for me and I felt a supernatural comfort…like a thousand feathered angel wings wrapped all around me. This is what the prayer of another feels like if you can open yourself to it. It’s physical. It’s supernatural. And it’s very, very real.
\nPraying for the happiness of my ex-husband and his soon-to-be wife allowed forgiveness which gave me peace. Praying for my children and grandchildren gives me hope for their safety and well-being. Praying for Mr. FixIt brings me reassurance of his strength and leadership for our family as we prepare to marry. Prayer can be felt by those you pray for. They may not have a clue it’s your prayers they are feeling, but trust me…they feel it in one way or another. So, keep praying. If there is someone who is lost, pray them home. If there is someone who is discouraged, pray for bravery. If there is someone who is broken, pray for peace. Prayer never hurt anyone and even though you may never see the results, it makes a difference. Because God listens. He hears. He cares. He loves us more than anything you could possibly imagine.
\nTake this into your week and be encouraged. Prayer changes things…even if it’s just inside of you. ❤️
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-09-24T01:30:49-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/09/24/the-feeling-of-prayers.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Courage","Monday Morning Motivation"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/09/22/a-change-is-gonna-come.html", "title": "A Change is Gonna Come...", "content_html": "
![\"Changing](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/a54ab9d557.jpg\")
“A change is coming. Can you feel it?”
“Many claim to have unfailing love, but a faithful person who can find? The righteous lead blameless lives; blessed are their children after them.” Proverbs 20:6-7 NIV\nYesterday, I told you there were some big decisions I’ve been working on the last few months. Today, I want to talk with you about one of them. The most important one. This is a REALLY long post...but hang in there with me. You won’t be sorry.\n
Not long after Mr. FixIt and I became a serious item, God started working on me. For a long time, whenever I walk into church, I say a little prayer. I always say, “Lord, if there is a personal message you have for me today, please anoint the Pastor’s words so he can deliver it to me.” Countless times, God answers my plea and the Pastor will literally come to the front of the stage, stand right in front of me, look me straight in the eye, and say something that is unmistakably personal. Something exactly about what I’ve been working on, or worrying over. I would say it’s uncanny, but what it really is…is supernatural. Our God is a supernatural God. He listens, and He communicates…through the Holy Spirit. Through a total stranger. Through your Guardian Angel. If He has a message, and you ask Him to tell you loud and clear, He doesn’t need a megaphone. He’ll beat you over the head with it if it’s something you truly need.
\nFrom the time Mr. FixIt and I got serious, I’ve been getting messages from God that we shouldn’t be living together without being married. I have to be honest…this has never bothered me before. I’m a product of the ‘60s and I never had a problem living with someone before we got married. But this time is different. It’s been wearing on me. And I think I’ve figured out why.
\nThe biggest reason is my faith has grown exponentially since Mr. Virgo died. I had to make God the center of my life in order to survive that loss. In order to not feel so alone. And God has drawn me ever so close to Him. He has guarded me and protected me. He has led me through some terribly difficult times. He has been my rock…my anchor. In the past, that has not been the case. My relationship with my husband was my focus. My relationship with God suffered and therefore I suffered. And I wasn’t even aware of it.
\nMr. FixIt and I keep God at the center of our relationship. Or…so I would love for everyone to believe. See, here’s the thing. You’re either all in with God. Or, you’re not. That’s why I’ve been feeling off about cohabitation. Now, there is the issue of widow’s benefits. I had been told when I first went to Social Security after Mr. Virgo died, that if I remarried I would lose my widow’s benefits. I’ve kept that information in my mind all this time without questioning. Until last weekend.
\nMr. FixIt and I have spent a great deal of time apart in the last month between being sick and in the hospital, camping with the Girl Campers, and going to Country Living Fair. The reason I took my camper up with me and camped alone instead of bunking with my gal pals was…I needed some alone time with God. These wonderful women I was with are two of my strongest Christian friends. They mentor me. They are sounding boards for me when I have questions. They are my fellow prayer warriors when I need them. I confessed how I was feeling and they talked with me about it.
\nWhile camping alone, I prayed deeply. I told God my worries. I told him I totally trust in Him and that I know without question that He will provide for me. But I’ve been so worried about losing my widow’s benefits because my own Social Security is paltry. I was a stay-at-home mom, so I didn’t make a lot of money in my lifetime. Mr. Virgo, however, worked in 5-Star resorts and restaurants all his career. He died before touching his Social Security. My benefits through him are far more than my own. Not enough to live in the lap of luxury, mind you. But enough to live on if I were extremely frugal. I asked God to give me a sign that I wouldn’t lose my benefits if I remarried.
\nThen, I listened. “Google. What happens to widow’s benefits if you remarry?” Simple enough, right? I mean, why didn’t I think to Google that a long time ago? Because….it wasn’t the right time. Mr. FixIt asked me to marry him just a month after we started dating. It was too soon. We needed to get to know each other more. We needed to grow together in our faith. And, I needed more time to work through my grief. This was God’s perfect timing. I Googled the question and page after page of answers came back. “If you remarry after the age of 60, you will NOT lose your widow’s benefits.” Wow! The reason it stuck in my head so long ago was, I was only 59 when Mr. Virgo died. They told me if I remarried, I would lose my benefits. But that was THEN. Grief brain didn’t allow the rest of it to soak in.
\nI sat back…stunned by this revelation. I looked up and said, “Thank you, God. That’s all I needed to know!” Then I texted Mr. FixIt.
\n“I miss you. Let’s get married.”
\nWithout missing a beat, he wrote back. “OK! We’ll set a date when you get home! What prompted this?”
\n“God.” I said.
\nSo, we set a date! Yes, my lovely Ranchers…we’re getting MARRIED!!!
\nOhhhhh….Emmmmmm…..Geeeeeeeee!!!
\nI’m all in. I can’t, in good conscience, profess my faith AND live in a way that I feel, for me, is counter to that. So I’m following my conscience and God’s clear instructions to marry this very wonderful man that He sent me. We chose October 13th as our wedding day. When I was looking through the calendar, the 13th jumped out at me. I seemed to remember it being a family anniversary. I looked up on my family tree and indeed…it was my Grandma and PopPop’s anniversary! Those two in whose bedroom I am currently propped up, writing to you! PopPop died on my mom’s birthday…August 26th. Just seven weeks before their 50th Wedding Anniversary. I know how terribly sad I was when Mr. Virgo died just three weeks shy of our 6th anniversary. I can’t imagine what my grandma went through losing her forever sweetheart so close to such a monumental event. I am thrilled we can celebrate our wedding on their special day!
\nSo, there it is, my friends. A change is gonna come. Will I still be a widow? Yes, I will always and forever be a widow. AND, I will be a wife again. Never in my wildest dreams would I have anticipated something so precious happening again. I know Mr. Virgo had a hand in this. He and God stopped at the 9th or 10th hole one day when they were playing a round of golf.
\n“Hey, look down there at that beautiful woman. Do you think we can send her someone to love who will love her back with the white-hot heat of the sun?”
\nAnd God said…”Ha! Watch this!” ❤️
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-09-22T01:30:36-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/09/22/a-change-is-gonna-come.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/09/19/strawberry-jam-and-biscuits.html", "title": "Strawberry Jam and Biscuits", "content_html": "
![\"Berry](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/2bbb891de3.jpg\")
“Berry Baskets bring back special memories of my grandparents’ farm.”
“For every house is built by someone, but God is the builder of everything.” Hebrews 3:4 NIV\nOne of the things I stumbled upon at the Country Living Fair over the weekend were these sweet little berry baskets. Oh, my...did they bring back memories! When I was a little girl, my uncle was going to college at WVU majoring in Vocational Agriculture. He was always doing something around the farm to help my grandparents. He added the cinder block building with a cistern to collect the rainwater from the roof for drinking water. There was a well here on the property and it had wonderful, sweet water...until they capped the old oil and gas wells on the property. Something they did caused the aquifer to fracture and the water became briny and undrinkable. For a long time, we had to drive several miles with two big milk cans and haul water from a local spring. Then Uncle Bud helped my grandparents build the cistern and we finally got good drinking water on the farm again.\n
My uncle also put in a septic system, built a basement, rolled the house on top, build a cinderblock bathroom and we joined the civilized folks with indoor plumbing. I was about six years old when all this occurred. After the barn, the cow shed, and the pig stye were built, the next thing on the agenda was to try to make this land not only support us, but pay us. Uncle Bud planned out and planted a huge strawberry patch up on the hill. He and my great grandfather built a nice structure with a long window down one side. The window was hinged and opened outward to make an overhanging awning with a counter. The pickers would bring flats of strawberries to this shed to be sorted and cleaned to take to the Farmer’s Market in town. At the corner of the building was a huge water tank that collected water from the roof of the strawberry shed to be used to clean the berries.
\nThese little berry baskets took me right back to those long summer days spent out at the farm…the very farmhouse I am sitting in as I write this. Oh, those berries were the sweetest things I had ever tasted. You didn’t even need sugar. They were deep red all the way through. And they were huge! One filled my little hand. Grandma wouldn’t let me pick them because I had a tendency to eat the berries and step on the runners. Runners are what makes more plants and more plants means more berries which translates to direct profit. I was relegated to the kitchen to cook for the pickers…which served me well as I got older. I learned to cook at grandma’s elbow…standing on the red kitchen stool.
\nGrandma made big, fluffy buttermilk biscuits and would slice them open, slather them with fresh churned butter and sugar, then add a good portion of sliced strawberries. She always had a jar of top cream in the fridge and would whip that with a hand cranked egg beater and add a little sugar and vanilla. Then she would spoon out this soft whipped cream on the top of our little biscuit “shortcakes” for a dessert fit for a queen. What I would give to have one of those…made by her loving hands and served with a peck on the cheek. I miss my grandma so much and feel closest to her here in the home of her heart.
\nWe were planning to come to the farm today to mow anyway, but last evening my cousin called to say someone had been seen sleeping on the porch of the community building down the road. I started to ask if we could just come on out last night, but I stopped mid-sentence. It was almost dark and we’d already had a busy day. Mr. FixIt picked up on it though. He asked if I wanted to come out right then and I really did. We packed up the truck and off we came. It is worrisome to drive these country roads after dark. There are so many deer out at dusk and the early night hours. When we pulled into the driveway, the only company we had at the farm were four deer out on the front lawn. I was a little worried because the front porch light was burned out, but that was quickly fixed and nothing had been disturbed.
\nWe stay here often enough to let people know the place is occupied. There’s someone here every day between us and my cousins. We were going to go camping this weekend, but staying here at the farm is as good as any vacation for me. The memories are as thick as buttermilk here and there is truly no place like home for this hungry heart of mine. ❤️
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-09-19T01:30:20-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/09/19/strawberry-jam-and-biscuits.html", "tags": ["Family","Positive Energy","West Virginia","The Farm","Gratitude","Grace","Wisdom","Presence","Peaceful Moments"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/09/13/road-trip-fall.html", "title": "Road Trip #2 - Fall 2018", "content_html": "
![\"Hurricane](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/a98f4735fb.jpg\")
“I’m on a road trip…but nothing like this!!!”
“Get ready; be prepared! ...” Ezekiel 38:7 NLT\nThis is a picture of a “traffic jam”. It was billed as the hurricane evacuation for Florence, but I’ve since learned it’s “fake news”. I don’t know if it’s LA at rush hour or a real hurricane evacuation or totally made up in photo shop, but I imagine they all look the same.\n
People are fleeing Hurricane Florence by the droves and the looks of this mess horrifies me. There has to be a better way to mass evacuate people other than sitting in parking lots on the freeway. This is dangerous on so many levels. My prayers are with all those who are in the line of the storm.
\nMy road trip yesterday was nothing like this! I started my day off with a followup appointment with one of the specialists I was referred to and I am so pleased to say the biopsies were benign. I am blessed again! Of all the tests and procedures I’ve had done since June, there were only a couple of things found and they can be treated with medication, diet, exercise, and a little weight loss. So, my road trip started out on the right foot!
\nI haven’t pulled TOW-Wanda since April when I went to Beaver Creek State Park for Spring What a Hoot. When I got her home, one of the hubs was hotter than the others and I was worried there might be something wrong with the bearings on that wheel. With all the medical issues I’ve had this summer, I never got around to hoisting her up on a jack and having a look at that bearing. I knew I couldn’t take her last weekend to Beaver Creek because there is a really steep hill up to the campground and my truck just doesn’t have the power to pull her up there. Mr. FixIt’s truck has a recall on the frame so it couldn’t be trusted. That’s why I borrowed my friend’s Avion.
\nYou know how sometimes you have a problem and you have to puzzle over it for a while before you see the solution? Well, on each wheel, there is a hub cover that protects the grease fitting for the hub. A few years ago, I had a blowout and when AAA changed the tire, they didn’t put the hub cover back. That was a blessing in disguise because when Mr. FixIt and I were driving through Indiana last summer, that is the hub that blew. If that cap would have been on there, we wouldn’t have seen it and there could have been a terrible accident if the wheel froze or worse yet…flew off while driving on the highway. We tried to jack up the camper Tuesday night but the jack wasn’t strong enough. I decided to stop at Walmart and have them take those covers off so I could get in there and grease the bearings. While we were standing there telling the guy what we needed, Mr. FixIt and I looked at each other and had an A-HA moment. Turns out, the end of those little hub covers pop right off with a screw driver so you can easily grease your hubs. A little pump of grease before you head out on a trip will really protect your hubs from overheating. Unfortunately, these are not things they teach you when you go over your camper at the dealer. They don’t necessarily want you doing maintenance…they want you to bring the camper to them. That doesn’t always work out when you travel as much as I have in this camper in the last four years.
\nOnce we added the grease to the hub, I was off on my next adventure. I stopped twice and checked the temperature of the hubs with a digital infrared thermometer with a laser target. Three hubs were 95 degrees and the worrisome hub was only 105. Not enough to worry about, but I’ll keep an eye on it. While I was down under the camper, I did notice a wired bundle that somehow dropped down and was mangled by the wheel. After carefully tracing it, it turned out to be the cable/antenna and I don’t use that, so it’s tucked up away until I can get it fixed some time in the future.
\nSo, my friends and I are here at the campground. I spend a few hours cleaning and organizing the camper and now it is fresh and tidy. I am leaving it in the campground during the duration of the fair because it’s a nice oasis for breaks and lunch. I have the ice machine hooked up that I bought on sale at the end of the season last year. There’s a flat of water bottles in the fridge and freezer. And the AC is working well. There’s a nice shower waiting for anyone who might need it. Today we will set up the Girl Camper display. This is the most fun part! Decorating and letting other women see what fun camping can be. This will be my sixth Country Living Fair. I can’t wait to share all the photos with you! ❤️
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-09-13T01:30:23-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/09/13/road-trip-fall.html", "tags": ["Travel","Overcoming Obstacles","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","Growth","goRVing","Wisdom","Girl Camper","Girl Campers","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/09/12/out-of-the-mouths-of.html", "title": "Out of the Mouths of Babes", "content_html": "
![\"Human](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/56b5c21646.jpg\")
“Craving human touch after loss is one of the most painful aspects of grief.”
“I’m so grateful to Christ Jesus for making me adequate to do this work. He went out on a limb, you know, in trusting me with this ministry. The only credentials I brought to it were invective and witch hunts and arrogance. But I was treated mercifully because I didn’t know what I was doing—didn’t know Who I was doing it against! Grace mixed with faith and love poured over me and into me. And all because of Jesus.” 1 Timothy 1:12-14 MSG\nMy younger granddaughter is my mini-me. Creative, funny, and incredibly intuitive, she just seems to “get me”. And she knows when to contact me and say just the right thing. Monday was Mr. Virgo’s birthday, and while the day itself did not carry the painful weight it has in the past, I still could not ignore the feelings in my heart as I remembered such a wonderful man and the passage of time without him. Then, last night... “Little” contacted me via text. \n
“What was Papa’s last name?” she asked.
\n“McKinney, sweetheart. Same as mine.”
\n“He was a ghost on a video.”
\n“What? What video???”
\n“A video I saw last week. I just remembered to tell you. A medium was talking and a man with Papa’s name spoke out and said he was there. He said he died of a heart attack. He said the woman reminded him of his wife because she was creative and funny. I know it was him and I just wanted to tell you…he’s not really gone.”
\nWow.
\nShe was only five when her Papa died. Yet she was the one who gave me the most comfort. She held my heart in a special way that only she and I could understand. She kept a sacred space between us where her Papa and my Mr. Virgo could live forever and never be forgotten. She is so special. She had no way of remembering that Monday had been his birthday. Yet, she knew to reach out.
\nThinking back over the years since he died, I remember how hard it was to miss his physical presence. I missed his hugs the very most. The way he would fold me into his chest, the top of my head tucked just under his chin. The smell of leather and tobacco and wood coming from his sweater. The sudden absence of that left a gaping hole in my life. I have always been a hugger. One of the reasons my second marriage fell apart was because Hubby #2 wasn’t. He hadn’t been raised that way. But Mr. Virgo gave me all the hugs I wanted.
\nI went on the search for physical contact after Mr. Virgo died. I tried dating a couple of guys and that was a catastrophe. Way too soon, way wrong people. I got hugs at church. I cruised the downtown shops and the mall in my little town looking for people I knew who would hold me for that extra long hug that makes casual acquaintances uncomfortable. I have a brother/friend who was wonderful…if I texted him at 3:00am, he would answer right away with “Where are you?” “In the camper,” I replied. “Be right there.” He would saunter over from his house a few blocks away, climb in the camper with me, and we would snuggle up in the corner under a blanket and I would show him pictures on my iPad while he wrapped his arms around me tight. No expectations. Nothing sexual. Just unconditional brotherly love and compassion. I will never forget his kindness. I got a prescription from my doctor for weekly massages to keep myself anchored. I visited my children and my brother as often as I could. I traveled and stayed with gentle friends who held my heart. And, eventually, I could stand up on my own again. I didn’t NEED quite so much. I didn’t ACHE quite so hard.
\nI was at a place of acceptance when I came back to West Virginia to live on the farm two years ago. I was at peace with my life and felt more centered than I probably ever had. That’s not to say I didn’t want someone in my life…I did. I’m a people person and I do better with a tribe. But I was getting ok with not having someone around all the time. Then…along came Mr. FixIt. And let me tell you…he is a hugger extraordinaire. When we first started dating, we would just sit and hug each other for hours. We’d talk and tell stories and just BE together. One day, he whispered…”This is medicine for the soul.” He was right, it was. It still is.
\nI know I’m blessed. I know what a gift this is. Late life love is precious. I just read a tweet from the author, Anne Lamott. She was watching the US Open with her love a couple of days ago when he said, “Can I ask you a question?” “Oh, sure,” she said, thinking it was something about the carport they were building. “Will you marry me?” She’s 64. He’s 63. “God is SUCH a show-off!” she said. I know not everyone wants another love after loss. I know some want it and it doesn’t come. I struggle sometimes sharing my joy while balancing sensitivity for others’ pain. My point is to always strive for hope. Always search for joy. No matter what that looks like for you…alone, together, screaming from the mountain tops, or cloistered in the stacks of a really great library. Whatever your bliss…my wish for you is that you find it. In spades! ❤️
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-09-12T01:30:39-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/09/12/out-of-the-mouths-of.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/09/11/listening-to-the-still-small.html", "title": "Listening to the Still Small Voice", "content_html": "
![\"Sternwheeler\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/126ea70731.jpg\")
“Sternwheelers left the festival early this weekend due to threat of flooding.”
“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”” Joshua 1:9 NIV\nThis time last year, I had just wrapped up my first Sisters on the Fly event that I hosted here in West Virginia...WV Riverboat Rendezvous. It was timed to coincide with the Sternwheel Festival in Marietta. There were twenty-three women in attendance and we had a blast! Lots of activities from riding a stern wheeler over to Blennerhassett Island to touring a Victorian Mansion to learning how to clog while listening to WV’s Number 1 Fiddle Player. We churned homemade ice cream and had an old fashioned weenie roast. We took a tour of an abandoned oil and gas town. The weather that weekend was fabulous. No rain, reasonably cool weather, and a wonderful campground made for a really fun weekend. \n
All year, I toyed with the idea of doing it again. While it was indeed a lot of fun, it was a tremendous amount of work. Every time I thought about getting started organizing it, that still small voice said, “No, not this year.” I was afraid I was disappointing others who might want to gather again this fall, but I just couldn’t shake the thought that it wasn’t meant to be this year. If I would have forged ahead and not listened, the event would have come, not only on the heels of my hospitalization last week, but also a wicked bad storm hit over the weekend. Our rain gauges, both at the Ponderosa and at the farm, were topped out at six inches and overflowing, so who knows what we actually received? The point being…I listened. I was told no. And I abided by that.
\nEveryone who camped with me this weekend with the Girl Campers got home safely with no weather problems. I was so grateful to have had that time with my friends without all the stress a large event causes. I went to the farm yesterday and did laundry in preparation for this week’s trip to the Country Living Fair. Mr. FixIt and his daughter came out to join me. We went through some of the boxes of my treasures and had so much fun looking at things my dad brought back from the war and some old family photographs. We played cards and told stories of growing up. It was such a pleasure to feel the farmhouse warm with the love of family.
\nThere was one point where I opened one of the boxes and laying right on the top was the bill from the ambulance company that took Mr. Virgo to the hospital the day he died. I looked up at Mr. FixIt’s daughter and sighed. She, too, is a widow. She looked at me questioningly.
\nI closed the lid to the box and smiled. “There are still some things that bother me,” I said. “This is the ambulance bill. Today would have been his 68th birthday. I don’t need to go through this box today.” She gets it.
\nStill…it was a good day, all in all. I just had to leave well enough alone.
\nAnd today…we remember the fallen. 9/11. We will never forget. ❤️
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-09-11T01:30:57-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/09/11/listening-to-the-still-small.html", "tags": ["Family","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","West Virginia","The Farm","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Wisdom","Downsizing"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/09/10/knowing-when-to-quit.html", "title": "Knowing When to Quit", "content_html": "
![\"Rain](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/c22ec0b64b.jpg\")
“Rain, rain, go away…we still camped and had fun!”
“Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.” 1 Corinthians 9:24 NIV\nI had an absolute blast this week camping with the Girl Campers! Even when it started raining and didn’t quit. Even when I got cold and wet and hadn’t had a shower since Tuesday. Mr. FixIt came up and that was icing on the cake. But, as you can see on the weather radar, home was getting slammed as hard, if not harder than the campground up north and that puts our basement at risk of flooding. So, my sweetie was up and kissed me goodbye at five o’clock yesterday morning. On his way down the hill from the campground, he had to stop and move a tree that had fallen across the road. Then there was a rock slide near the house that held him up a bit. But he made it home safely, for which I was very grateful.\n
I managed to get a little more sleep then joined the rest of the gals in Gail’s fifth wheel. We laughed and ate and knitted and had a blast. In the middle of the afternoon, I took a little snooze and when I woke up, I was cold and damp and there was no Mr. FixIt around to warm me up. I looked at my watch, calculated the time and distance from home, and figured I could be there and showered before dark. I threw my stuff in bags, dragged it out in the pouring rain, and loaded up the truck. I was soaked to the skin by the time I was finished, but as soon as I made my goodbyes, I got in the truck, took off my wet coat, and cranked up the heat and I was dry and toasty in no time. I got home just at dark and as soon as I had the important stuff unloaded, I took that long, hot shower and felt like a new woman!!! There is one thing that does NOT go with Girl Camping…whining. And I was getting dangerously close to it! Steroids make me agitated and I didn’t want anyone to be subjected to a temper tantrum.
\nWhen I was alone after losing Mr. Virgo, I took off by myself everywhere. It was either that or stay at home alone. Now, I’m walking this fine line. On the one hand, I have this really great guy that I love spending time with. I have a very real understanding of what it feels like when that is taken away. Consequently, I have found I really don’t like being away from Mr. FixIt for more than two or three days. On the other hand, I need to maintain my independence skills so I’m not caught flat-footed if something should happen to him before me. If it hadn’t been so wet and cold, and if I hadn’t been on steroids, I very likely would have toughed it out and stayed one more night in that sweet camper with my dear friends. However, I knew when to say “uncle” and call it quits. You just have to know which race to run. And, it ended up being a perfect week of camping fun!
\nNext up is a couple days at home then heading to the Country Living Fair with these same fun gals! ❤️
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-09-10T01:30:40-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/09/10/knowing-when-to-quit.html", "tags": ["Travel","Overcoming Obstacles","Camping","Fun","Gratitude","goRVing","Wisdom","Girl Camper","Girl Campers","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/09/02/days.html", "title": "2,000 Days", "content_html": "
![\"Meme\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/a32a76f6bc.jpg\")
“2,000 Days”
“(For we are but of yesterday, and know nothing, because our days upon earth are a shadow:) Job 8:9 KJV\nFor a long time after losing Mr. Virgo, I marked the timeline of my grief by significant dates. The first anniversary without him came just three weeks after he died. That was a tough one. First Halloween marked when we met. The first time I celebrated his birthday alone was terribly sad. First Thanksgiving, first Christmas...the list went on and on and I was convinced when the first “angelversary” of his death came around, I could turn a corner on this grief thing. Needless to say, that didn’t happen.\n
The seconds were worse for me than the firsts. Because, the first year I was in a fog. The second year I was awake and he was still gone. It was deeply painful. It was desperately lonely. I was exceedingly angry. Each day led me forward, ever so slowly, toward…what? Healing? Peace? Acceptance? It wasn’t easy. Somewhere along the line, 1,000 days passed and I wrote about my experiences along the way. Still marking the calendar of grief.
\nNow it’s been 2,000 days. Unbelievable. It seems like forever ago. It seems like yesterday. It sometimes even seems like he was a dream and I never really had him. I think that’s fairly normal, from what I have heard from you all over the years. I can’t remember his voice anymore. I struggle to picture his hands. He’s like a really good movie that I loved and watched over and over till I memorized all the words…then lost the disk. I’ll never see that particular movie again, but I remember how much I enjoyed it.
\nI still get waves of grief. They don’t hit nearly as hard as they used to, and they don’t last nearly as long, thank God. I notice them most when I am tired or not feeling well. I’ve learned so much about myself since he died. I’ve become much stronger. My world is brighter now that I’ve passed through all those days. I have new love. But I will never lose my old love. I have them both. I am a widow and a partner. I grieve and I rejoice.
\nI have greater compassion now. For others. For myself. I know not everyone has a new love. Not everyone wants it. Women are perfectly capable of being widowed and still lead a fulfilling life. One does not need a partner to be rich in love. Women can be remarkably resilient and strong all on their own.
\nSo, it’s been 2,000 days. Remarkable…yet another ordinary day. The seas are much calmer this far from the shore. ❤️
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-09-02T01:30:41-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/09/02/days.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Presence","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/09/01/what-do-you-do-with.html", "title": "What Do You Do With HIS Stuff?", "content_html": "
![\"Gentleman](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/457e23718f.jpg\")
“Mr. Virgo dressed for the Ritz Carlton.”
“The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:17-18 NIV\nWe had a good discussion here yesterday about downsizing...a topic near and dear to my heart and one not everyone is interested in. I get that. We like our stuff...it brings back memories, it is proof of what we worked for. But, what do we do with HIS stuff? If you’ve watch any rom/com, you’ll see women throwing the guys stuff out the upstairs window and burning it on the lawn if infidelity or divorce are involved. While I don’t necessarily recommend that, I can see how it would be cathartic. Usually the man takes care of his own stuff in a breakup. That can’t happen when death is involved.\n
When I was newly widowed, I walked in a daze for weeks. I couldn’t imagine going through Mr. Virgo’s stuff and getting rid of anything. I would often stand in his closet, wrap myself in his clothes that smelled of leather and tobacco and Halston and woods. I grieved to my very core, holding onto the last things he touched. I did this for a few weeks. Then I took off in my little camper for three months.
\nWhen I returned, I had screamed and cried out a lot of my initial grief up on the mountaintops. I realized standing in the closet wrapped in his clothes wasn’t healthy for me. My daughter was a teacher at a poor, inner-city school that had a program for young men. They provided a suit and interview training so they would have a better chance at landing good jobs. When I heard about this, something inside me smiled. I knew Mr. Virgo would love to have his suits used for such a purpose. This gave me the impetus to go through his closet. I saved a couple of sweaters, my favorite ties, and his leather bomber jacket. The rest I bagged up.
\nWhen I woke up the next day, I reached for my phone and saw message after message on my feed…Happy Father’s Day! I sat up and looked around. All of his clothes were in bags on the floor surrounding the bed. And I had no one to hug for Father’s Day. I always had a bag packed to impromptu camping trips so I went out and hooked up TOW-Wanda and headed for the hills for a few days.
\nWhen I got home, I carried the bags out to the car and carted them around for a couple of weeks just to make sure I was really ready to let go. Once I was convinced, I delivered them to my daughter. I would have loved to have heard the stories of successful job interviews!
\nOnce the closet was cleaned out, it wasn’t a big stretch to go through his dresser and get rid of his underwear and socks. I never felt like I was invading his privacy until I got to the top drawer of the highboy and his briefcase. That bothered me. I felt like I was snooping. I knew I had to go through them because there were papers in there that I might need. I did find some things I wasn’t expecting. There were a couple of charge accounts I didn’t know about. And there was an envelope with his and another woman’s name on it addressed to the house he lived in before he moved to Aspen. At first, I was upset by this. I thought I knew everything about him. Then I realized that he didn’t know everything about me either. We were in our mid-50’s when we met. A lot of water had gone under the bridge before we ever set eyes on each other. The new information didn’t change a thing about our relationship. It was still wonderful. So, I let it go.
\nMy way of cleaning out his closet may not be your way. And that is perfectly fine. We all walk down this path in our own way, in our own time. If it’s ten weeks or ten months or ten years, you do what you need to do. I will lay this down here though, and you can pick it up or not. There is a wonderful organization called Career Gear. You can donate suits and business casual clothes to them and they provide training, professional clothing, and mentorship to men in need so they can get good jobs and provide for their families. I saw a story about them, I believe on Sunday Morning. This would be a good place to donate your husband’s clothing. Or, you may find something similar in your area. It’s just a thought.
\n\nAnother alternative is creating a memory quilt or pillow from items of his clothing. My friend Steve did this. He had memory quilts made for his three kids and teddy bears for his nine grandchildren…all from his late wife’s clothes. It was a wonderful way to memorialize Nana for her family. I don’t know anything about this particular site, but it’s an example.
\nhttps://www.toocooltshirtquilts.com/blog/dealing-with-the-clothing-of-a-passed-loved-one
\nI hope you find your way through this difficult step with peace…no matter when you decide to do it. Just remember to do it your way. Don’t let anyone tell you how or when. ❤️
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-09-01T01:30:48-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/09/01/what-do-you-do-with.html", "tags": ["Family","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Growth","Wisdom","Courage","Downsizing","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/08/31/here-i-go-again.html", "title": "Here I Go Again...", "content_html": "
![\"Storage](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/66e8c1e0c9.jpg\")
“All that’s left of forty year’s accumulation.”
“a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away,” Ecclesiastes 3:6 NIV\nThis stuff was out of sight, out of mind for much of the last three years. My very sweet friend, Steve, let me store this in his basement. He seldom went down there, it was clean and dry, and it was safe and secure. On occasion, I would go over and gather a few boxes and bring them to the farm. Winter clothes, camping gear, important papers, pictures...little by little, things were sorted and either saved or sent on to live with someone else via a charitable organization.\n
Steve was never in a hurry to reclaim the space I was using because, as a widower, he didn’t have any more enthusiasm for going through things than I did. Over the years, his kids have brought things to store and the basement became more and more crowded and cluttered. Last Christmas was the straw that broke the camel’s back when he had to crawl over things to get to his outdoor decorations. We agreed I would have everything out this summer. As you know, summers are so hot and sticky in West Virginia. And I traveled a lot. And I had surgery. And Steve works weird hours. One thing led to another and I didn’t get it done. I promised everything would be out by the end of August.
\nSo, there it is. Other than a few things at the Ponderosa, my two campers, and my pickup…everything I own is sitting right here. This is all that’s left after the purging of forty years of accumulation and selling my house. It’s been a full four years since I downsized and I’ve learned a lot about myself and what I need to be happy. I thought I’d share a few observations here today.
\nI’ve learned downsizing is not for everyone. That’s ok. People love their stuff. They worked hard for it. They find comfort in it. I get that. I was really on a bandwagon when I faced downsizing, not only as a lifestyle choice, but as a necessity. I preached “Live with less!” Vehemently. My fervor hasn’t died for me personally, but I now realize I came across as perhaps a little insensitive to those who cherish their personal belongings. If that is you, I apologize.
\nI have a few…but very few…regrets. First, if I had known my stint at the farm helping out my elderly aunt was only going to last 10 weeks, I very likely wouldn’t have purchased such a big travel trailer. I really miss Little TOW-Wanda. At 16’, she was easy to pick up and go with at a moment’s notice. Not so much with the big behemoth that is TOW-Wanda Grande. Second, there are a few pieces of furniture I parted with that I would love to have now. But, I never would have dreamed I would fall in love again and live the life I am living now. Besides, I really do have everything I need.
\nAnd, speaking of falling in love again, I have a significant other who hasn’t fallen in love with the idea of simplifying…yet. We are in the early stages of discussing the merits of downsizing, and he is beginning to understand that means you don’t get to keep everything. I totally understand where he is with that. I held onto my stuff for a long, long time…even when my spouse(s) hated the clutter. Mr. FixIt is coming around. It has to be at his pace, at his comfort level, or I’ll come across as trying to make him get rid of everything. I remember what that feels like and it’s isn’t nice.
\nWhen you have less stuff to take care of, you have more money and time to get out and enjoy the fun things in life. That is the best lesson I’ve learned from my own experience downsizing.
\nRemembering to be grateful for what I DO have keeps me from missing what I don’t. It keeps me thinking in terms of abundance rather than deprivation.
\nNow I face these boxes. Part of me says if I haven’t opened them in four years, what possible use do I have for their contents? I could just take them to a shelter…or to the dump. But, of course, I cannot do that. I have to go through them. I can, and will, be ruthless as I pick and choose what must be kept, what can be given to family members who would appreciate the memories, and what can go to someone else who will love them as much as I did. This is now my cold weather project. I’ll have it done as soon as possible because, I had the farmhouse clean and neat and tidy. I want it back that way quickly.
\nI find an uncluttered environment equates to an uncluttered life for me. It eases my mind and will certainly make things easier for whoever will be in charge of going through my stuff when I’m dead and gone. I promised myself, and my kids, that I would never leave them with a mess like I was left with when my mom died. As wonderful as she was, she was a pack rat of the highest order and it was such a chore to clean out her house AND deal with the grief of losing her. I don’t want to do that to anyone. So, here I go again! ❤️
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-08-31T01:30:38-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/08/31/here-i-go-again.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","TOW-Wanda!","West Virginia","The Farm","Growth","Gratitude","Wisdom","Presence","Downsizing","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/08/28/flora-or-fauna.html", "title": "Flora or Fauna?", "content_html": "
![\"“Music](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/c68786a056.jpg\")
“Music Pink and Blue” by Georgia O’Keeffe
““Look at the lilies and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing, yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. And if God cares so wonderfully for flowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?” Luke 12:27-28 NLT\nIt has been over a century since Georgia O’Keeffe first showed her art in New York. Her floral studies look as though you are viewing a delicate flower under a microscope. The languid curves and soft focus give an ethereal beauty to mother nature’s treasures.\n
In 1918, society was absolutely dominated by conservative men. There were few female artists…and none like Ms. O’Keeffe. Her art was interpreted as portraying the female genitalia. She spent the next six decades denying this vehemently. They were merely studies of flowers. However, I can certainly understand why there was this…misunderstanding.
\nGeorgia O’Keeffe lived in the desert southwest and her art is well known and abundant in the western states. I will never forget the first time I saw one of her paintings and thought it was rather…bawdy. It wasn’t till years later I learned to see what she saw. This particular painting is called “Music Pink and Blue”. I don’t know. It just doesn’t look like music to me. It looks like anatomy.
\nSpeaking of which, the doctor’s visits continue. I’ve been catching up with my routine healthcare ever since I started on Medicare the first of June. Before that, my insurance cost me nearly $800 a month with a deductible over $7,300! I used it specifically for my medications and for strict emergencies. I put off anything I could for three years till Medicare kicked in. So now I’m playing catchup.
\nThe older you get, the more things can be wrong with you, it seems. And one test leads to a panel of blood tests which leads to a CT scan and on to a colonoscopy and upper endoscopy. The mammogram went from films, to special compression views, to needle biopsy, and finally to surgical removal of a lump with a biopsy. Lower abdominal pain progressed to a pap and on to a visit with a GYN (hence the Georgia O’Keeffe reference) and colposcopy with biopsies. H.O.L.Y. C.A.T.S. That wasn’t pleasant. Yes…this is probably TMI. However…I tell you these things to illustrate why you should stay current with your routine healthcare and not put it off. Three times, I’ve had things removed that were precancerous. Had I waited longer, it could have crossed over to cancer. Once, I actually had a melanoma but it was in situ which means “contained”. It had not spread beyond it’s own boundaries, thank God.
\nWhen we are widowed, or when we are raising children, or…who am I kidding? Women don’t always take care of themselves at any age because they are busy taking care of everyone else. If you have been putting off getting something checked or you’ve looked it up on WebMD and convinced yourself it is nothing, I’m here today to encourage you to get a complete physical. I know it’s a pain in the butt. I know it can turn out to be expensive. It’s important. YOU are important! And…while you are on interminable hold with the doctor’s office to make that appointment, enjoy this painting of…..a flower. ❤️
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-08-28T01:30:34-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/08/28/flora-or-fauna.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/08/26/a-man-of-honor.html", "title": "A Man of Honor", "content_html": "
![\"Senator](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/8c17a0b8c2.jpg\")
“Senator John McCain 1936-2018”
“Good people leave an inheritance to their grandchildren...” Proverbs 13:22 NLT\n*****Disclaimer: I removed a blatant political comment from a reader. For one, because we don’t discuss politics here. I am not rewarding that kind of negativity with a response. I am not making a political statement by honoring Senator McCain. I am honoring a man who was a devoted family man...a husband, father, friend. I am honoring a soldier, like Mr. Virgo. I am remembering the sacrifices he made for this country....sitting in a Vietnamese prison as a POW, for one. I may not have always agreed with his politics, but I can still honor a man who reached across the aisles. \n
And lastly, the comment included a slur that I will not ever tolerate on this page. The “r” word. There is no place for that here.
\nI am surprised, and dismayed, at the number of people who have unliked my page this morning…obviously because of this post. I hate that we live in such a divisive society that we can’t tolerate a post that remarks on the death of someone in the political arena that sits on the other side of the aisle. I wrote this as a memorial of sorts. Not only to Senator McCain, but to his family and loved ones who are now members of a club many of us belong to and didn’t ask to join.
\nAnd to another of Mr. Virgo’s wonderful stories.*****
\nI am a liberal Democrat, but I really liked Senator John McCain. He spoke in a no-nonsense way and didn’t mince words. He told it like it was and he wasn’t particularly concerned who’s feathers it might ruffle.
\nWhen Mr. Virgo and I first started dating, he worked at the Hotel Jerome in Aspen. Every September, Teddy Forstmann…a wealthy NY financier…gathered the best and the brightest from around the world for the Forstmann Little Conference. He was brilliant and chose an eclectic group…from four-star generals to political powerhouses to athletic superstars. All expenses were paid and the guest roster was always super secret until the opening of the conference. No one ever spoke of the contents of the discussions in the room. Mr. Virgo and the manager of the hotel were the only two people on staff who had a high enough security clearance to go inside. And they were sworn to secrecy.
\nMr. Virgo and I had been dating about a year when the conference convened in September 2006. General Colin Powell was in a wheelchair after breaking a leg. Mr. Virgo told me about tripping over him when he was serving and nearly landing in his lap. He was hush-hush about all but one…Senator John McCain. Mr. Virgo was a staunch Republican. We decided early on we were going to just agree to disagree about politics and call it good. He rarely ever brought it up, but this particular night…he came home in awe. He said, “This man needs to run for the Presidency.” He raved about the Senator’s ability to capture a room and mesmerize his audience in his straight-shooter fashion. He couldn’t stop talking about him.
\nI liked Senator McCain. He was compassionate yet a maverick as he fought with both sides of the aisle. His sense of honor and duty were exemplary. We’ve known for over a year now that he had an aggressive brain cancer. We knew we would be losing him. His treatments allowed him many months of a better quality of life than he would have had otherwise and that offered his family more time to share with their loved one. As those of us who have lost a spouse know, no amount of preparation ahead of time eases the pain of loss and there is a family out there today that is grieving the death of a great man. My heart goes out to them today and my prayer is for their comfort and strength to get through the coming days, weeks, months without him.
\nRest In Peace, sir. Thank you for your service.
\nSenator John McCain 1936-2018
\n??
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-08-26T01:30:40-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/08/26/a-man-of-honor.html", "tags": ["Grief","Prayer","Gratitude","Peace","Wisdom","Courage","Aging"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/08/22/another-layer-of-the-onion.html", "title": "Another Layer of the Onion", "content_html": "
![\"Sunset\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/752dbd4a48.jpg\")
“Sunset over the Ponderosa.”
“The Lord examines the righteous, but the wicked, those who love violence, he hates with a passion.” Psalm 11:5 NIV\nOne would think, after nearly five-and-a-half years as a widow, I wouldn’t still be gaining insights into the nature of grief. After all, I’ve written nearly 2,000 daily essays...many dealing with the subjects of death and dying. I’ve passed many milestones. I’ve fallen in love again. Yet, it never ceases to amaze me when I get to peel back another layer and learn something about myself through the lens of loss.\n
Before Mr. Virgo died, I never really thought about death…not on the daily anyway. I had certainly dealt with loss. My beloved grandma, my wonderful mom, and even my estranged father. Still, those losses didn’t put death in my sights. Since his death, however, the prospect of losing someone so close to me again has caused me a great deal of anxiety and a fair amount of fear. Early on, there were so many times when I felt I was just one crisis from losing it completely and my prayer was always, “Lord, please keep everyone safe. I can’t lose another one. I don’t have it in me.” I remember telling people I loved to be extra careful. Don’t get hurt. What I was really saying was, “Please, don’t die.”
\nAs I’ve told you often, I don’t watch TV…I catch my news online so I can pick and choose what I watch. I have noticed changes in the last six months or so. I can concentrate enough to read a book now. I can knit again. I can even go to the movies…something I’d only done once since Mr. Virgo died. Mr. FixIt and I went last week and it was wonderful. Things are changing. Things are healing. And, while I don’t make a regular diet of the news, I have watched the news on occasion lately.
\nIt’s culture shock. After not watching TV for years, watching it is…visceral. Politics. Severe weather. Fires. Crime. It’s been a difficult summer in the world. Last week I was transfixed by the case of Chris Watts. While the facts of the case are abhorrent, my interest was from a psychological standpoint. I saw his interviews with the press. I watched his body language. I knew he was lying. And, I knew he was going to blame his wife for killing the girls and then he was going to say it was a crime of passion. It was like the script was written all over his face. Then, yesterday, they found the body of Mollie Tibbetts after a high profile search. Another layer of the onion of grief was pulled back to reveal a deep fear.
\nBeing a grandmother, one cannot watch stories such as these without thinking of your grandchildren. I realized I had watched too much…dived too deep… when I spent the night clutching my pillow to my chest and begging God to protect my people. I felt riddled with anxiety. My granddaughters are adolescents…attractive, smart, gregarious. I want them to be invisible. I want them to walk around with a force field. I want them to stay in their rooms till they are forty. But, of course I don’t really. I want them to live their lives. I want them to be joyful. I want them to learn and have adventures and be strong women. I just want them to be safe.
\nI will back away from the television now. It causes me dis-ease. I cannot control the world. I can’t keep bad things from happening. I can’t hover over my children and grandchildren. But I can send out as much love and light into the world as I can. And I can encourage others to do the same. I can dish out heaping helpings of encouragement and positivity. With enough prayer and love and light, maybe we will see the change we so desperately hope for…we so desperately need. Walking strong in my faith, knowing who is really in control, soothes me. ?
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-08-22T01:30:47-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/08/22/another-layer-of-the-onion.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Growth","Wisdom","Fear","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/08/16/firsts-dont-always-come-once.html", "title": "Firsts Don’t Always Come Once", "content_html": "
![\"Window\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/81cdbcbb4b.jpg\")
“Firsts don’t only come once.”
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” Psalm 147:3 NIV\nThe other day, I was reading a tweet from a gal that I follow. She was commenting about a deep feeling of grief she felt she had long ago left behind her. She is a widow and her youngest was off to college. Another “first”. They don’t always come in the first year. There are graduations, and weddings, and grandchildren, and vacations, and retirement...all things you thought you were going to get to do with your person.\n
When you are newly bereaved, the initial shock numbs you. You walk in a haze as you go through the motions of planning a funeral, greeting the attendees, and writing all those Thank You notes. Somewhere before too long, you start peeling back all these layers and grief continually bubbles up as you realize all the things you have lost along with your loved one. You have a sense of this loss up front. But you don’t realize how it will affect you when you get to those milestones. They can knock you down just as hard as some of the earlier waves of grief.
\nI watch Mr. Virgo’s grandchildren growing up on Facebook. I don’t have a relationship with his daughter, but she is kind enough to keep me connected so I can see the children. The little one is the spitting image of her grandpa. It twists my heart when I see her. When I realize he didn’t get to know them and they won’t get to know him, it makes me sad. Firsts…first grade…first dance recital…all the big “little” things grandparents are supposed to share with their grand babies. Daughter #2 will be planning a wedding soon. She and Mr. Virgo were very close. That will stir the waves.
\nThere will always be these moments. This is the price you pay for love. If there is an upside, it is that the waves aren’t as big and they don’t last as long now. I have learned how to tap-dance around that hole in my heart without falling in…most of the time. My new relationship with Mr. FixIt is wonderful, but he doesn’t replace Mr. Virgo. You can’t replace someone you truly loved. Grief remains as a scar on your heart…and your life grows around it. ❤️
\n\n
\n", "date_published": "2018-08-16T01:30:12-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/08/16/firsts-dont-always-come-once.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Growth","Wisdom","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/08/12/barking-up-the-wrong-tree.html", "title": "Barking Up the Wrong Tree", "content_html": "
![\"Texting\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/6a24a35451.jpg\")
“Messages from others have more to do with THEM than it does with YOU.”
“Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart.”\nProverbs 3:3 NIV\n[bible.com/111/pro.3...](http://bible.com/111/pro.3.3.niv)\nWe have discussed this topic before, but there are so many new widows here now, I felt it deserved a reprise. It may be timely for some.\n
A week before the first “angelversary” of my husband’s death, I receive a text from someone close in his family.
\nMy first thought was, “How nice. He knows it’s been almost a year and he’s writing to tell me he’s thinking of me.”
\nI opened the text and began to read. It was soon quite apparent this message was not one of condolence…or remembrance. No, this was something entirely different.
\nThe text was regarding a story I had written in my blog about Mr. Virgo’s military record. This family member told me that Mr. Virgo had certainly NOT accomplished what he said he had. He was no war hero. He had been nothing more than a clerk in the Army and it was his father who had actually been the hero. He named about three things in the story I had written that he swore were untrue and maybe I should just keep the family stories out of my blog, you know…to keep my husband from being the laughing stock of his family and friends. He said the family always knew him to be prone to hyperbole, but they loved him in spite of it.
\nI was stunned. At first I was hurt. Then I was angry.
\nI waited three days before I responded. I’ve always found it’s a good idea to sit back and think about things before I jump in and perhaps say something I might regret later.
\nWhen I had thought carefully about my response, I wrote back. I told this family member that I was initially taken aback by his text. I said my husband had never given me any reason to doubt the veracity of his words or stories. Sure, he might have shined up a story for dramatic effect, but I had never, ever known him to lie to me. I told him he wasn’t with my husband in Vietnam so there was no way he could actually know exactly what he had done there.
\nI reminded him how much my husband loved him. How much we had prayed for him when he was ill. I told him I couldn’t understand what kind of person would write to a grieving widow one week before the anniversary of her husband’s death and say something like this. If Mr. Virgo were alive, I can guarantee he would NOT be happy with the way this guy was speaking to me.
\nThe bottom line is this. My complete and total loyalty lies with the man I love. I will defend him, have his back, stand up for him, and fight for him…dead or alive…if I have to. I’m one tough mama bear when it comes to my own.
\nWhat kind of person would do this? And what could possibly be the motive? Jealousy? Anger over some past perceived slight? Whatever the reason, it is petty and small and demonstrates what is called “splitting behaviors” in psychological jargon. In other words…trying to cause trouble.
\nIt can happen when there is a death in the family. It can happen with divorce. It can happen when there has been some sort of rift in a family. If it happens to you, I want to you remember one thing…
\nWhat this person says or does to you has absolutely NOTHING to do with you or your loved one. It has absolutely EVERYTHING to do with who this person is as a human and where he or she is in their own journey. You must not take it personally. When I first read that text, I couldn’t understand why he was saying these things to me. If his motive was to make me doubt my man, let me tell you…he was barking up the wrong tree. And, it’s just as true with Mr. FixIt today as it was with Mr. Virgo. I don’t need people like that in my life. People who try to stir up trouble. Who try to drive a wedge between me and the one I love and make me have doubts.
\nThis was a valuable lesson for me that I learned in my grief. One of those things I’ll take forward and use throughout the rest of my life. I don’t have the time nor the inclination to involve myself in that kind of petty drama. Life is too short. ❤️
\n\n
\n", "date_published": "2018-08-12T01:30:30-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/08/12/barking-up-the-wrong-tree.html", "tags": ["Family","Overcoming Obstacles","Growth","Grace","Wisdom","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/08/09/hindsight.html", "title": "Hindsight 2.0", "content_html": "
![\"Great](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/3c65e89388.jpg\")
“Daughter #2 with her Great Grandmother that she doesn’t remember.”
“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.”\nProverbs 17:17 NIV\nWhen I was visiting Daughter #2 a few weeks ago, she mentioned she was heading to Texas soon with her fiancé for a family reunion. She was in awe that this family was renting a beach house for a week. A large group were gathering from all around the country to play games, comb the beach, and renew the close relationship they enjoy. These reunions were started by a grandmother who wanted her family to really know each other. The younger generation decided to keep the reunions going after grandma’s death for the same reason...to remain connected by more than DNA.\n
I reminded #2 that I took her to West Virginia as often as I could. We had family reunions, too. But, unfortunately, they all but stopped after the older generation passed away. She didn’t really know my family. That made me sad.
\nShe sent me this photo yesterday and asked me who was with her. I told her it was her Great Grandmother on my dad’s side. I had a strained relationship with my dad. I also had an aunt on his side of the family that I was extremely close to growing up. I emulated her, modeling myself after her beliefs, likes, and dislikes. I thought she walked on water. As an adult, I came to learn I missed out on getting to know some pretty wonderful cousins because I saw the world through someone else’s lens. I’ve since rectified that and gotten closer to my dad’s side of the family. Unfortunately, that doesn’t change my children’s upbringing.
\nDaughter #2 says, “We just didn’t have that kind of family. We didn’t really DO things together.” That is very true. But that doesn’t mean that going forward, we can’t BE that kind of family. We can change this course and I intend to do so, in whatever means I can. I want my children and grandchildren to really know their aunts and uncles and cousins. So, here’s to family…no matter what that looked like in the past. No matter what it may look like in the future. It is the only one we have. ❤️
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-08-09T01:30:31-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/08/09/hindsight.html", "tags": ["Family","Gratitude","Grace","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Aging","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/07/29/feeling-peaceful.html", "title": "Feeling Peaceful", "content_html": "
![\"Ohio](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/088392260e.jpg\")
“Finding peace after losing Mr. Virgo is deeper and sweeter than anything I could have imagined.”
“Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way. The Lord be with all of you.”\n2 Thessalonians 3:16 NIV\nAs I sat thinking over what I would write about for today’s post, the word “peaceful” kept playing over and over in my mind. It made me think of this photograph that I took when I was living on high ground overlooking the Ohio River three years ago. I was blessed with the opportunity to park my camper up there and would often sit on the deck overlooking this amazing, peaceful scene. On this particular evening, the light was perfect, the sky was stunning, and everything took on a soft glow as the sun was setting. I will never forget my time spent in this beauty as I healed from the grief of losing Mr. Virgo. It was a time of testing my mettle, as well. I found inner strength I never knew I had as I lived in that camper through a particularly rough winter with no running water and up to a foot-and-a-half of snow at times.\n
I look back on that period of my life and compare it to where I am today and it never ceases to amaze me how different things are now. I have the privilege of caretaking for the family farm. I have this wonderful man in my life who brings me joy every day. I have the ability to travel to see my Colorado family. I have my campers. I still own too much “stuff” but I’m happy with my life as it is.
\nThe other evening, Mr. FixIt and I were floating around in the pool, holding hands, watching the clouds in the evening sky, listening to the sounds as the night birds and insects began their chorus. He turned to me and said, “This. This right here is perfect.” I knew what he meant. We’ve both longed for this peaceful life and love. We both feel like we’ve won the lottery.
\nI could have written about grief last night. I could have written about camping or travel or gardening. I could have written about Colorado or West Virginia or any of the numerous places I’ve been. But, for some reason, all those things seemed to pale against this overwhelming love and peace I’ve been feeling since I got home from my trip out west. Absence really does make the heart grow fonder. Being away from Mr. FixIt for three weeks brought into sharp focus just how wonderful our life is together. I love my children and grandchildren and the rest of my Colorado family and friends. But, oh my…there really is no place like “home”. ❤
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-07-29T01:30:15-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/07/29/feeling-peaceful.html", "tags": ["Family","Positive Energy","West Virginia","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/07/25/vaya-con-dios-colorado.html", "title": "Vaya con Dios, Colorado!", "content_html": "
![\"woman](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/c3b35b98be.jpg\")
“Goodbyes are always bittersweet.”
“The Lord makes firm the steps of the one who delights in him; though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with his hand.”\nPsalm 37:23-24 NIV\nIt is time. Three weeks ago, the time for my visit stretched long before me. And, in the blink of an eye...it is gone. Today I travel home to West Virginia. Goodbyes are always so bittersweet. Oh, how I miss my babies...big and little. How I miss my brother and the rest of my Colorado family and friends. How I miss being nearby and stopping to visit with Mr. Virgo whenever I want. But it can’t be helped. There are so many reasons why I don’t live in Colorado anymore.\n
The main impetus that led my move to West Virginia was two-fold. Economics made Colorado far out of my housing budget and caring for an elderly family member in my home state seemed appropriate. If I would have known that endeavor would have only last ten weeks, I likely would have done things differently. I may have kept my Colorado house and rented it out. I may not have purchased such a big camper. I may have more evenly split my time between Colorado and West Virginia. But, hindsight being 20/20, it is what it is and I wouldn’t have changed a thing if I could.
\nMoving to West Virginia was the path my life needed to take. I needed to feel the freedom of living on my own. I needed to feel the love and connection of caretaking my family farm, which turned out to be the ultimate conclusion of the elder care situation. I needed the social group my hometown afforded me. And, most importantly of all…destiny brought Mr. FixIt and me together! He is such a joy to have in my life and I can’t imagine him not being there.
\nOne of the downsides to living so far away is the limited amount of time my family has to spend bonding with Mr. FixIt. They don’t feel the connection with him that they felt with Mr. Virgo. You can’t develop a loving bond with someone you have a couple of dinners with over a period of a week or so. I understand that. I just hope they can understand my commitment to him and why I live where I do and not near them. It tears at a mother’s (and grandmother’s) heart when you can’t be near them always. The other side of the coin is, travel goes both ways. So do phone calls and texts and FaceTiming. It’s a new time in our lives. A new adjustment. A new phase.
\nI know where they are coming from, though. When my mom lived in West Virginia and I lived in Colorado, it used to drive me crazy. I wanted her to move to Colorado where I could help her more. I wanted her to have access to excellent healthcare. I wanted her close where I could watch over her. I guess what it boils down to is…I wanted more control. (Ahhhh, it always boils down to control, doesn’t it?) My girls saw me struggle to help my mom long distance. They don’t want to have to do that, too. I get that. But, NOW I totally get where my mom was coming from. Whereas I though she was being terribly stubborn and unreasonable, I now see she was living the way SHE wanted to live…WHERE she wanted to live. I wish I could have understood that more at the time. I think I would have been more gentle with her.
\nAt any rate…I have promises from all my Colorado family that we will make a concerted effort to reach out more and stay connected by the various media channels we have access to. And…my sweet and handsome all-time BEST friend in the whole wide world will be standing in Columbus Airport today welcoming me home with the very best hug on the planet!!! I wouldn’t trade that for ANYTHING!
\nVaya con Dios, Colorado…I’ll be back as soon as I can! ❤
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-07-25T01:30:24-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/07/25/vaya-con-dios-colorado.html", "tags": ["Colorado","Family","Travel","Uplifting Stories","Hope","Positive Energy","Fun","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Love","Wisdom","Courage","Presence"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/07/17/mile-tuneuporhow-emdr-saves-my.html", "title": "50,000 Mile Tune-Up...or...How EMDR Saves My Brain", "content_html": "
![\"EMDR](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/6e179e82e7.jpg\")
“EMDR reprograms your brain.”
“Behold, I will bring it health and cure, and I will cure them, and will reveal unto them the abundance of peace and truth.”\nJeremiah 33:6 KJV\nA little over five years ago, I sat on a stool in the corner of an emergency room and watched them do CPR on my husband. It went on FOR-EV-ER. Stop. Start. Shock. X-Ray. Start. Stop. Check. Shock. Over and over and over. I sat with my hand clasped over my mouth to keep from screaming. I wrapped my feet intricately around and through the legs of the stool to keep from jumping up and running away. My shoulders slumped...my free hand dug into my thigh so I could feel something other than horror. And all of that...all of the valiant efforts, all of the shouts for more drugs, all of the hustle and bustle and orchestrated chaos could not save him. He died in spite of the best efforts of the Western Slope’s best and brightest. He died. And I could do nothing to stop it.\n
I ran away in my camper for three months. I busied myself. I “dated” a guy which turned out to be more about putting a tourniquet around my bleeding heart than it did about “love”. It had nothing to do with love. It had everything to do with escape. Then, one sunny afternoon at a fair in the park, a gentleman standing nearby choked. Like, Heimlich Maneuver choked. And I was frozen. Instead of jumping in as I had been trained to do…as I was certified to do…a movie started playing in my head as I stood in the park. Suddenly, I was back in the ER, sitting on the stool, watching them do CPR on my husband. It went on FOR-EV-ER. I mean, I KNEW I was in the park. So why was I “seeing” this rerun?
\nThe rerun scared the crap out of me. And, I immediately associated it with a medical emergency…both my husband’s heart attack and the gentleman choking on chicken. I began to dread what might happen if there was a real emergency and I couldn’t step up to the plate. I avoided being in situations where someone could get hurt or sick or…God forbid…NEED me. I suffered wave after wave…not only of grief, but also anxiety. To the point of vomiting uncontrollably for hours. Simply put, I was a mess.
\nI went to see my doctor and asked her if she could recommend a grief counselor. And when I first talked with her, she said, “Ginny, I think you have PTSD.” She told me she wanted to do something called EMDR on me. Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. It is THE most accepted PTSD treatment. Normally, when we experience a disturbing event, our brains process it and file it away neatly in it’s appropriate folder in our memory bank and life goes on. But, when the event is associated with trauma…like watching prolonged CPR…something happens in the filing process and the memory gets stuck. It is like a video playing on a continuous loop…over and over and over. The thought becomes intrusive…meaning, unbidden. Uncontrollable. It creates fear. And it is terribly distressing.
\nAfter the first EMDR treatment, the improvement was extraordinary. It’s non-invasive and is accomplished so simply. You sit in a comfortable chair, You conjure up the image that is giving you the most trouble…no matter how painful it is. You hang onto that thought while watching the practitioner move her finger back and forth, back and forth, back and forth across your field of vision. You follow her finger with your eyes. The rapid eye movement actually reprograms your brain. It can make the memory fade. It can change it into something else. It can process it and let it go into the file with all the other memories. And it can release you from the pain of seeing it over and over and over.
\nI really did well. My anxiety level was lower. I had few, if any, real panic attacks. I still dealt with grief waves, but not the horrifying repetitious movie starring CPR. Then, about a year and a half ago, I started having episodes of anxiety again. About once a week or so, I would spend the night sick as a dog. I couldn’t keep anything down. I began to dread going places. I began to fear medical situations again. What began slowly, started cranking up more and more and with every insult to my central nervous system, it got worse. Surgery cranked it up. The episode with my aunt with dementia cranked it up. Flying cranked it up. Being away from Mr. FixIt cranked it up. I texted my grief counselor, Karen, and told her I thought I needed an EMDR tuneup so we scheduled it to coincide with my trip this week to visit my brother.
\nAs I caught up with her yesterday, I told her about Mr. FixIt and how happy we are. We talked about all the really good, positive changes that have come into my life. Then she asked what happened a year and a half ago that started the cycle again. I told her about the car accident. She asked what it was about that that triggered me and I surprised myself by bursting into tears. I sobbed and covered my face.
\n“I thought I killed her!” I cried.
\n“Who?”
\n“The young girl in the backseat! Her head was lolled over, her face was bloodied. Her mama cradled her head in her hands and begged her to wake up. The man who was driving ran at me screaming, “You killed her! She was supposed to turn 17 this week!!!””
\nI sobbed and Karen put her hand on my knee.
\n“Oh, Ginny…that had to be terrifying.” She comforted me with her soft, caring voice. “I think that’s it. I think that is what has prodded your PTSD awake.”
\nJust like grief, you don’t get “cured” of PTSD. It can raise it’s ugly head just like unexpected waves of grief can overtake you at any given moment.
\nWe did a session of EMDR. We repeated it eight times or so. With each subsequent series of back and forth movements, it felt as though someone were turning down the volume knob like a radio in my brain. The first series resulted in me feeling immediately calmer. The second made me feel like I had taken a step back and I wasn’t sitting in the driver’s seat of the truck. I was in the back seat. The third set had me standing behind the truck. The fourth set had me even further behind the truck…like zooming out on a long camera lens. I was surprised by the fifth set. I had a flash of the young girl going to prom. The implication being…she was fine and healthy. Each subsequent set of movement took me further and further into this relaxed, soft, safe place. It is remarkable something so simple can have such a huge impact.
\nI had not cried about the accident up to that point. I had not processed, or even acknowledged, the trauma of thinking I had killed someone. Of being verbally and physically challenged by the other driver. And we all know that unprocessed trauma, like unprocessed grief…festers. It does not serve us to grit our teeth and white-knuckle our way through these episodes. From now on I will be proactive and get the help I need instead of trying to handle it on my own. I can’t tell you how much better I feel. When I got home from the mountains yesterday, my son-in-law’s dad made the observation that even my voice was different…relaxed, easy, slower. There is no shame in admitting you need help to work through something. We women think we are supposed to have it all together. I told a friend the other day that I just want to be normal. She smiled and said, “Sweetie, you ARE normal. Everybody has something they have to deal with. What you want is perfection!’ Ahhhh…she knows me well.
\nNone of us are perfect. Ask for help if you need it. Don’t try to just get by with a stiff upper lip. Just “getting though it” is no way to live. ❤
\n", "date_published": "2018-07-17T01:30:47-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/07/17/mile-tuneuporhow-emdr-saves-my.html", "tags": ["Travel","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","Growth","New Ideas","Gratitude","Comfort","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/07/15/your-difference-is-your-beauty.html", "title": "Your Difference is Your Beauty", "content_html": "![\"Meme\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/9d26193c5d.jpg\")
“Your DIFFERENCE is your BEAUTY.”“But the Lord said to Samuel, \"Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.\"”\n1 Samuel 16:7 ESV\nI came to the mountains yesterday to visit my brother and some friends one more time before I go back to West Virginia. The rest of my visit is booked with the Denver family, so this is my last trip here for a while.\n
The traffic coming out of Denver was terrible. It seems everyone and their brother had the same idea to head to the mountains for the weekend and a normally three hour trip took four-and-a-half. Seriously though, if you have to get stuck in traffic somewhere, I can think of far worse places than the middle of the Rockies. I had my praise music cranked up and sat staring at the beauty all around me and my heart was full.
\nWhen I arrived in Glenwood Springs, I turned onto 8th Avenue and the first parking spot opened up. I smiled and thought of my dad’s second wife. Whenever we drove someplace and a parking space opened right when we got there she said, “Thank you, Lord.” I did the same. I wandered around the downtown area and saw some people I have known for years, having lived in the area from 1986 to 2014. I browsed the little shops. I ran into a friend who recently lost her husband and finally got to give her that big hug I’ve been wanting to share.
\nI was looking for a dress for Mr. FixIt’s granddaughter’s wedding in August, but couldn’t find anything I liked. So I wandered down the street to one of my favorite restaurants…a little Cajun place with great jambalaya and beignets. My wait person arrived and took my order. This was a person whose gender is ill defined. Delightful, friendly, efficient, attentive and…different. I have a daughter who is outside of a binary gender identification. Her pronoun is feminine. Sometimes her look is, too. And sometimes it is not. She has always been unique.
\nAs I watched my waitperson, I thought about this small town and how difficult it was just fifteen years ago to be different than the other kids. My daughter suffered terribly at the hands of bullies. Today, I believe those kids who were marginalized in the past are being embraced more readily by their peers.
\nDelightfully stuffed, I figured in a generous tip and wrote the following on the receipt.
\n“Your difference is your beauty. I hope you have a wonderful day! ❤”
\nYou never know whose life you may touch when you are out and about. Whether you agree with a person’s lifestyle or not, always choose kindness.
\n❤
\n\n
\n", "date_published": "2018-07-15T01:30:58-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/07/15/your-difference-is-your-beauty.html", "tags": ["Faith","Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","Grace","Love","Wisdom","Courage","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/07/12/the-pillar-of-truth.html", "title": "The Pillar of Truth", "content_html": "
![\"The](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/d46870f9d6.jpg\")
\n“Now, faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” Hebrews 11:1 KJV\nOnce upon a time, in a beautiful palace in Heaven, the was a crystal pillar resting on a stand. It was The Pillar of Truth. There were no flaws within this crystal and every angle reflected the perfect truth to its observers. This was a cherished object in Heaven. There were a band of angels whose job it was to polish this stunning pillar til it glistened in the sunlight that filtered into the palace.\n
On occasion, a novice pillar polisher would be needed and some young angel would get the opportunity to become an apprentice. This was a great honor, as all of the truth was held within this stone. The angels took their assignment quite seriously.
\nOne day, a new novice crept into the pillar room to gaze upon the glorious piece. She couldn’t get enough of it during the long hours of polishing so she had to come in alone while the other angels were sleeping. As she stared into the depths of the crystal, she felt she could literally reach inside and learn vast, great things. She reached out and placed her hand on the cold surface and could feel the energy within. She was mesmerized. When she finally pulled her hand away, she could see a distinct smudge on the surface and she was appalled. She whipped out her polishing cloth and rushed forward to wipe away the mess she had made.
\nAs the little angel plunged forward, her toe caught on the hem of her robe and she stumbled into the pillar. It rocked and tipped. She stood there and held her breath, hoping it would right itself, but instead…the great Pillar of Truth tipped over, crashing onto the marble floor into a million gazillion tiny slivers. Oh! What ever was she going to do? Surely the sound of the great crash would bring the other angels running in any minute! She ran to the closet and grabbed a large broom and began to sweep the tiny shards out the door of the palace where they fell onto the surface of a cloud.
\nAs the slivers built up within the cloud, moisture began to gather on them and just as the last dustpan full of shards were dropped onto the cloud, a great strike of lightning and clap of thunder resounded throughout Heaven and a heavy rain began to shower earth.
\nAs the rain came down, everyone on earth came out to look in awe, because every drop of rain held a rainbow…a prism of light reflected off the tiny slivers of The Pillar of Truth. They held their faces up to the warm rain and when they did so, the tiny shards from the pillar pierced their eyes. They felt no pain, but they knew something was different. They knew, without a shadow of a doubt that what they saw, what they knew, what they had learned, and what they believed was THE truth. The ONLY truth
\nAnd this is how it happened that people all over the world, in every walk of life, in every faith, with every dogma came to believe that their way was the ONLY way. That others were wrong if they believed differently. This perceived “truth” fractured the world and caused deep rifts between the many factions of society.
\nI am a Christian. This is how I identify. I love the Lord. I follow Him as best I can. I know I will differ with some. There are many paths in this world. I choose the one with Jesus. I am willing to share mine. I am willing to learn of yours. And, I will not ever tell you you are wrong and only I am right. As far as I know, there has not been a team of investigative journalists go to Heaven, document how it all works, and come back with the evidence. For me, personally…I have faith that there is a Heaven. I believe Hell is the complete absence of God…a place I have been and never wish to return to.
\nEvery branch of Christianity, every walk of faith thinks their way is the only way. They all have a shard from The Pillar of Truth in their eye. What is the exact answer? This is where faith come in. ❤
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-07-12T01:30:02-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/07/12/the-pillar-of-truth.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Growth","New Ideas","Gratitude","Grace","God","Wisdom","Courage","Presence","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/06/27/its-popsicle-time.html", "title": "It’s Popsicle Time!", "content_html": "
![\"Popsicle\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/f8094cb46b.jpg\")
“There’s nothing more soothing than a Popsicle when you are recovering from surgery!”
“For I will restore health to you, and your wounds I will heal, declares the Lord...'”\nJeremiah 30:17 ESV\nI cannot remember a time in my life that didn’t include Popsicles. One of my earliest memories is my mom breaking a twin pop to share with my brother on a hot summer day. Orange was always my favorite, but grape runs a close second. Or is it cherry? I never liked banana. Other than that, it was fair game.\n
As I was recuperating from this surgery, some things became apparent to me. The last time I had surgery was in 1999 when I had my sinuses done. Not a pleasant surgery with nasal splints and sleeping sitting up in a recliner. But still, I was 46. It was a relative walk in the park. As we…ummmm, “ripen”…we don’t bounce back quite as fast as we used to. Anesthesia and 3-4 Vicodin over a 24 hour period and I was toast. The pain was well-controlled, but I just hate the feeling narcotics gives me so I switched to Tylenol. Everything was going along pretty well, except I was really tired. Then, Monday night the pain hit. A burning, stabbing pain deep in the area where the tumor was removed kept me awake all night. I finally drifted off around 5:00am and slept a couple of hours.
\nAs I lay there awake, I read the Bible, did my devotionals, caught up with everyone on Facebook, chatted with my son-in-law’s mom in the middle of the night, and Googled “pain after excisional biopsy of the breast”. It seems to be pretty normal to get to the fourth or fifth day and start feeling some pretty significant twinges in the surgical area. For one thing, all the numbing and anesthesia is completely gone. Things are starting to knit back together and that means some nerve pain as you heal. The area where my tumor was is directly behind the nipple and that is some pretty tender territory. Remember nursing? That little baby latching on with jaws of steel could send you through the roof. Imagine getting sliced and diced in that general area and no sweet baby to distract you.
\nI gave up trying to sleep and headed to town with Mr. FixIt for several errands. When we were finished, we went to the farm so he could finish mowing. I spoke with my uncle on Monday and he and my aunt (his and my mom’s sister) are coming Thursday for an overnight visit. I needed to get the house in tip top shape for company so I spent the afternoon fixing up the three beds with fresh sheets, airing out the house, and sweeping up a winter’s worth of dead Asian Lady Bugs in the upstairs bedrooms. I washed bedding and fluffed and primped everything to perfection. I’m really looking forward to them coming and staying the night. It’s my first family company since I took over the caretaking duties at the farm. This is the aunt who lived at the farm for years and it is her first visit back since she went to live with her brother. I want her to enjoy it and feel pampered.
\nI’ll make them some yummy treats for Thursday. His favorite is yellow cake with penuche frosting. Hers is butterscotch pie. I’m so excited to see them! We’ll drive up the new road behind the farm that goes out to the compressor station they are building. That might be bittersweet for them. I know it is for me.
\nAnd now, the news we have all been waiting for. I received my biopsy report yesterday. The tumor was indeed a fibroadenoma. It is the most common benign breast mass. Benign = NOT CANCER! The other day I was talking about when I was prayed over and anointed. And it turns out to be benign. I want to point out something. Yes, God can still heal. He can perform miracles. AND…there are plenty of wonderful, GOOD Christians who pray faithfully and they still get cancer. Cancer doesn’t play favorites. It doesn’t discriminate. It doesn’t care if you are rich or poor, black or white or any other color of the rainbow. It doesn’t care if you’re a Christian or a Jew or a Muslim or an atheist. It doesn’t care. Something triggers cells to multiply abnormally. It’s as simple as that. My faith tells me God can answer prayers. And sometimes…unfortunately…the answer is no and a bad diagnosis comes. It is one of the horrible thieves that rob us of life and health. I am very grateful that my (and your) prayers were answered in a positive way. Thank you so much for caring. Now I don’t have to worry about that anymore. Just rest and heal and head to Colorado in a week!!! ❤
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-06-27T01:30:05-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/06/27/its-popsicle-time.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Hope","Positive Energy","West Virginia","The Farm","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Peace","Wisdom","Humbled","Presence"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/06/24/let-freedom-ring.html", "title": "Let Freedom Ring!", "content_html": "
![\"Freedom](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/0683c845fb.jpg\")
“Let Freedom Ring!”
“For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.”\nGalatians 5:1 ESV\nI just finished writing July’s post for the Sisters on the Fly blog. I wrote about the many freedoms we are blessed with beyond Independence Day. The audience for that blog is women campers. There is a certain reservation in my writing there as I am paid to do so. Therefore, I am somewhat constrained in my topics. I always check in with them ahead of time, find out what their theme of the month is, and write accordingly. It’s not like this blog where I speak my heart and my truth. So I’ll write the “Marshmallow Ranch” version of that blog here.\n
Independence Day. The 4th of July is coming soon. Images of family gatherings, cookouts, baseball games, fireworks. That’s what it’s all about, right? Well, yes…and no. In 1776, our forefathers of this nation set forth a document that outlined our beliefs pertaining to our independence from Great Britain. Man made laws that apparently gave us our freedom. However, we were given freedom long, long before this document was drawn up. At least…we were given the choice.
\nWe were given freedom from the weight of our past. Our sins. I am reminded of a weight I used to carry that I finally put down eighteen years ago. In the ‘80s and ‘90s, I had a problem. I was a doctor’s wife and as such, I was highly over treated medically. I was given drugs freely and when I cried out for help, I was stifled. I was given more drugs and more drugs. I took up drinking with a vengeance. I was dying as fast as I could and it wasn’t fast enough so I took two bottles of pills and almost finished the task.
\nThank God, I am a different human being now. I got the help I needed. I found the people who listened. And I got away from the situation that sent me down that path. On occasion, I get a reminder of what that life was really like. Case in point…I had surgery on Thursday and was given a narcotic pain reliever. In such a case, I will take these…reluctantly. But, let me tell you…I am EXTREMELY cautious. I do not like how they make me feel. I don’t like the fuzziness. I don’t like the disconnection from my surroundings. I hate the dry mouth and the upset stomach. And I hate the feeling I get when I stop taking them. Even just taking them for 24 hours, I feel a sinking darkness that comes over me. For the life of me, I cannot understand how I could have taken so much of this stuff back in the day. I couldn’t function. I wasn’t participating in life…in the lives of my family. It is just a sad reminder of what we all went through because a referral pattern is a terrible thing to waste. I was a doctor’s wife, after all. His colleagues had to go above and beyond. It was a brutal time.
\nI will not submit to the yoke of slavery that drugs and alcohol brought into my life. I am judicious in my choices and stand firm in that because quitting was, aside from losing Mr. Virgo, the most difficult thing I ever had to do. Not the quitting itself. I was delivered from that immediately. Navigating the devastation it left behind in my family was where I struggled. It was horrible for everyone involved. I am grateful for this new life…this healing I was given when I gave up and asked Jesus to take over. I will celebrate my Independence Day as January 6th…the day of my overdose. The day I stepped into the void and came out again. Let freedom ring! ❤
\n“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.”\n2 Corinthians 5:17 ESV\n \n", "date_published": "2018-06-24T01:30:46-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/06/24/let-freedom-ring.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Wisdom","Courage","Humbled","Presence","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/06/23/the-empty-nest.html", "title": "The Empty Nest", "content_html": "
![\"Empty](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/d038e4dcbb.jpg\")
“The empty nest can be painful, no matter which of you leaves first.”
“For I want you to know how great a struggle I have for you and for those at Laodicea and for all who have not seen me face to face, that their hearts may be encouraged, being knit together in love, to reach all the riches of full assurance of understanding and the knowledge of God's mystery, which is Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge. I say this in order that no one may delude you with plausible arguments. For though I am absent in body, yet I am with you in spirit, rejoicing to see your good order and the firmness of your faith in Christ.”\nColossians 2:1-5 ESV\nI got married young the first time. I was nineteen. I thought I knew everything! I was just about finished with x-ray training. Hubby #1 and I literally grew up together. Our families have known each other since long before we were born. The day after graduation, I hopped on a plane and flew to England to join him. He was stationed there in the Air Force. I had never been on a plane before. I cannot imagine what that must have been like for my mom. She still had my brother at home. He has a developmental disability and always lived at home with her, so she never did have that “empty nest”. But I know she missed me terribly and it had to have been so worrisome for her to have me so far away the very first time I left home.\n
My older daughter got married when she was twenty-one. It wasn’t too long after that when she and her new husband moved to Long Island. I thought THAT was way too far and it just about killed me. I was having trouble in my marriage. Her younger sister was only five years old. I hated having them so far away. I visited as often as I could, but it was a really hard time for both of us. We had always been very close. A half-empty nest is just as painful.
\nI’ve watched my friends go through letting their children go. When my younger daughter left home for college, it was a different story. First, I had had children at home for thirty-three years. I was in a new marriage and in a much happier space. And, she was only going to be a couple of hours away. It was an entirely different story when the nest emptied out completely.
\nBut what happens when it’s the opposite and it’s your MOM that pulls up roots and leaves? That’s what’s happening to one of my friends in my small group from church. She is young…younger than my Daughter #2. Her brother, her two sisters, her nephew, and her mom are moving several states away and she is left here. In addition to that, they are selling the only home she has ever known. Her nest is being taken away. That has to be really hard. You just never think of it happening like this. It’s usually the other way around.
\nI always made it a point to go visit my West Virginia family at least once a year. I took my kids with me so they could feel that bond of family. I never dreamed I would up and leave my Colorado family like I have. Colorado was never really the home of my heart. West Virginia is. I usually visit my family twice a year but Mr. FixIt’s surgery in December kept me here this past winter. The grandchildren have grown so much in the past year since I’ve seen them. It seems like a lifetime ago. And my girls have aged…as have I. I remember there was a stretch of time when Hubby #2 was in medical school that I didn’t see my mom for over two years. I never want to do that with my family! I can’t imagine. She had to have been so sad.
\nKeeping those family bonds alive is so important. I’ll be there in a couple of weeks and stay for three weeks. I can’t wait to see them! Do you live far from your family? Do you get to see them very often? How long do you get to visit? I’d love to hear the things you do that make your visits extra special. I am always looking for new ideas to create lasting memories! ❤
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-06-23T01:30:46-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/06/23/the-empty-nest.html", "tags": ["Family","Grief","West Virginia","Growth","Grace","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/06/21/flying-my-kite.html", "title": "Flying My Kite", "content_html": "
![\"Flying](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/ff97c180d0.jpg\")
“God is the tail of my kite…He anchors me.”
“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”\nHebrews 11:1 KJV\nWhen I was a little girl, my daddy always brought me a paper kite at the beginning of summer vacation. It was in a long, narrow plastic sleeve. You got two flat sticks, one long...one shorter...with slots cut in each end. You got a sheet of thin paper and some string. You fastened the two sticks in a cross shape first. Then you stretched your string around from end to end of the sticks, making a kite-shaped frame. You laid the frame on the paper and folded the edges over the string and glued them closed. Once the glue was dried, you attached string loosely from top to bottom and from side to side so you had something to attach the kite to the kite string with. The last thing you did was affix a tail. They didn’t give you this. You usually used some scrap material you had handy. You tore the material into two or three long strips about an inch wide. You cut one or two of the long strips into shorter pieces...maybe 4-5” long. These you tied every 6 inches or so down the long strip. Then you attached that long strip to the bottom of your kite and it became the tail.\n
Have you ever tried to fly a kite without a tail? You can’t. The wind picks it up then it goes around and around in frantic circles until it crashes down to the ground. My dad taught me you had to have an anchor so your kite would fly high and true.
\nLife is like that, isn’t it? You need something to anchor you in life or you just go around and around in circles. I spent a lot of my life unanchored. I crashed and crashed and crashed…over and over. I have heard it said, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results.” If this is true, how many of us are “insane”?
\nThe secret to flying a kite successfully is letting go. You send the kite up in the air till the wind catches it, then you hold on to this little, tiny string. Not too tight…not too loose. You let the string out as the wind lifts the kite higher and higher. The anchor kept the kite upright and steady.
\nIn my life, I found the only logical thing to do was to make God my anchor. It was He who was the most reliable. He wasn’t going anywhere. I had to participate. I had to hold the string and keep a watch on it as best I could. I had to do what I could to steer it from hazards like trees and electrical wires. I had to learn when to let it out, and when to reel it back. But, I had to let go of the tail. I had to let God do His thing so I could fly high and strong.
\nToday, I am having surgery. It’s not big deal, really. It’s called a “wire-guided excisional biopsy of the right breast”. This lump will be removed and sent to the lab where it will be prepared and observed under a microscope. The pathologist will review the slides and a diagnosis will be given. I am firmly convinced it is benign and we are just exercising an abundance of caution. That being said, no surgery is without risks and I will be getting general anesthesia. I’m not worried though. Because…I understand the risks, I have confidence in my doctors, and I have a really strong tail on my kite. God has this. If it’s good news…awesome. I’m done with it and can get on with my life. If it’s bad news, then God will use whatever comes my way to teach me, mold me, humble me, and remind me to come to Him when things are hard. It really is that simple.
\nI know this because I have faith. ❤
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-06-21T01:30:13-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/06/21/flying-my-kite.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","God","Peace","Wisdom","Presence","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/06/17/drink-coffeepray-boldly.html", "title": "Drink Coffee...Pray Boldly", "content_html": "
![\"Prayer](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/5669701bad.jpg\")
“Pray BOLDLY at every opportunity…even at coffee with the girls.”
“If you don’t know what you’re doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You’ll get his help, and won’t be condescended to when you ask for it. Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought. People who “worry their prayers” are like wind-whipped waves. Don’t think you’re going to get anything from the Master that way, adrift at sea, keeping all your options open.”\nJames 1:5-8 MSG\nYesterday was coffee day with the girls...those magnificent ‘71 Divas from my high school class. We didn’t all know each other in high school. We really became most acquainted through Facebook and efforts to gather as many classmates as possible for class reunions, dinners, picnics, and the like. We are, all to often it seems, meeting at funeral homes anymore. I decided four years ago us gals need to get together and form a tribe...a sense of community of the feminine...when I came back to West Virginia to live. Now, we look at our monthly meetings as caffeine fueled talk therapy and I’ve seldom missed it.\n
There weren’t as many gals gathered yesterday. Illness, hospitalization, vacations, and general summer business kept many of our regulars away. There were also a few who came that don’t get to attend very often. It’s always a different group but the dynamic is the same. We are there to have fun, let our hair down, laugh a lot, and offer support to one another as we learn what’s new in each other’s lives.
\nMy friend Diane came and brought me one-third of my birthday present. She called the other day and wanted to meet up with me. We had a miscommunication and she ended up waiting for 45 minutes out at the farm and when it got too hot and I didn’t show up, she went home. She had to take my gifts with her…two-thirds of which were perishable. Yesterday, she gave me my card. Imagine my dismay when I learned of the flowers and chocolate covered strawberries she had brought me Wednesday! I felt so awful about that…she went to so much trouble. But, we laughed it off. She gave the flowers to a friend she had dinner with that night and ate the strawberries on the way home so all was not lost!
\nWhen the majority of the gals had left for the day, my friend Lisa and I sat and talked to one of our friends who hung behind. She confided that we looked like someone who could help her. She had a prayer request. We talked about it a while, offering advice and comfort. When she asked for prayers, Lisa (you remember her from a previous post a month or two ago) took our friend’s hand and said, “Well, let’s just pray now.” The three of us sat in a very public area of the historic hotel where we gather, held hands and prayed together. Boldly. Unashamed. As a matter of fact, I didn’t even think about it until later.
\nThere was a time in my life when I looked at people praying over their meal in a restaurant or holding hands together in public, praying, and I felt…I don’t know…uncomfortable, self-conscious, embarrassed for them? I was decidedly unenlightened in those days yet I thought I was SO evolved. In the last several years, I have become much bolder with prayer. There is no reason to feel ashamed or embarrassed to offer prayer anytime the Spirit moves you or you are asked. I was really happy to be able to pray with my friends. I always ask God to bring me more prayer opportunities and the bravery to carry them out. It is an honor and a privilege.
\nToday is Father’s Day. For some of you, it is the first without your loved one and the firsts are hard…and sometimes the third and the tenth and….. Please know that I will pray boldly for you today that you know God is with you to offer comfort and solace in your broken places. You are so loved! ❤
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-06-17T01:30:55-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/06/17/drink-coffeepray-boldly.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Prayer","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","God","Wisdom","Courage","Humbled","Presence","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/06/13/this-man-knows-how-old.html", "title": "This Man KNOWS How Old I Am", "content_html": "
![\"35](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/1c1d85ffec.jpg\")
“It’s not how many years in your life…but the life in your years!”
“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created.”\nJames 1:17-18 NIV\nSo, today is really monumental...huge...a BIG deal in anyone’s life. Today is my 65th birthday! I didn’t know how to feel about it this year. I let myself dwell on the obvious...I’m getting older. I let myself worry about the health issues I’m facing in the coming weeks. I thought about how Mr. Virgo would have SO enjoyed this accomplishment. I thought about how much I miss my Colorado family. I thought about my beautiful mom and how I called her every year on my birthday and thanked her for having me.\n
All this time, this wonderful man orbited me on a daily basis. Taking care of me. Loving me. Watching to see if there was anything I might need or any way he could support me better. For a couple of weeks, he was eclipsed by the hamster wheel of grief running in my brain. Then the wave was gone…receding into the background again. And I could see every blessing clearly.
\nYes…I’m getting older. Isn’t that wonderful??? I’m getting older and bolder and my best days are in front of me. Adventure awaits at every opportunity.
\nYes…I have some health issues to deal with in the coming weeks. Isn’t it terrific that I am blessed with great insurance that will take care of the bills so I can focus on healing and getting better after my upcoming surgery instead of worrying about how I’ll pay for it all? Blessings come in dark colored packages sometimes.
\nYes…Mr. Virgo would have loved to help me celebrate this one. Wasn’t it terrific that I got to feel such unconditional love from such a great guy?
\nYes…I miss my Colorado family. I get to see them in just a few short weeks and I can immerse myself in their sunshine and love. I am so honored to call them mine.
\nYes…I miss my mom. She knew how much I loved her because I never failed to tell her at (almost) every opportunity.
\nAnd…I am so, so grateful to have the opportunity to love again. To feel the love of a good man. A man who watches out for me and protects me and brings me so much joy.
\nMr. FixIt came home from town yesterday and I fixed us a great meal. Then he asked me to go in the other room for a while. He called to me when he was ready and I went out to the deck by the pool. He had these cupcakes with the candles lit and a lovely, sentimental card that he selected with the perfect inscription. And he gave me a beautiful rocking chair for the front porch.
\nYes…chronologically, I may be 65 years old today. But this man knows me on the inside. He KNOWS I’m only 35 on the inside. And that is my best earthly gift ever. ❤
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-06-13T01:30:45-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/06/13/this-man-knows-how-old.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Wisdom","Aging","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/06/09/the-importance-of-getting-a.html", "title": "The Importance of Getting a Mammogram", "content_html": "
![\"Mammogram\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/0a696ca332.jpg\")
“It’s important to keep up with your routine health screenings.”
When I was married to the doctor, my healthcare was absolutely top shelf. Specialists who depend on referrals for their patient load may go above and beyond for a physician’s family. A referral pattern is a terrible thing to waste. I never had to wait for appointments. My doctors always answered my calls. Testing, including my mammogram, was done quickly. And, they accepted whatever insurance paid and never charged me a dime. Professional courtesy, it’s called. I have to admit, I was pretty spoiled. My doctors in Colorado were the same ones who took care of me when I was married to the doctor so my level of care pretty much continued even after the divorce. That changed when I moved to West Virginia.
\nMy insurance changed when I moved here and I could not find anyone who took my insurance AND took new patients. I could find one or the other…not both. So I didn’t have a primary physician until Mr. FixIt and I started dating. His doctor was kind enough to take me on. I really like him. He’s thorough and gives the same quality of care I came to expect in Colorado. I have not always heard good things about the level of care here. I didn’t have a good experience with my mom’s healthcare and that was my frame of reference. I have no complaints here.
\nThe problem with not having a primary care doctor is not keeping up with routine health screenings. The current issue is a mammogram. I had a routine mammogram in September. I received a call a few days later saying they needed compression films and an ultrasound. They found something “suspicious.” I do not have a family history of breast cancer and this mass had every hallmark of being a fibroadenoma which is the most common benign breast tumor. My doctor and I discussed it and decided to repeat the tests in six months.
\nI had the repeat tests done the first part of May. This time the suspicious area was bigger. I was scheduled for an Ultrasound Guided Core Needle Biopsy, which I had done on Tuesday. If you have never had one and you need one, they really aren’t bad. The doctor numbs the area then makes a tiny nick in the skin. Then, guided by the ultrasound, a needle is placed in different areas of the lesion and small bits of tissue are removed and sent to the lab. A little bandaid over the boo-boo and off you go. Tylenol every four hours for a day and you’re left with something that feels akin to the breast tenderness you feel at the beginning of your period. Since it’s been 25 years since I’ve had one of those, I had kind of forgotten what that felt like. But, really…it wasn’t bad at all.
\nI went back to the surgeon yesterday for follow up. Because of the place where this mass is, getting a really good sample was difficult. The radiologist who did the biopsy told me he wasn’t sure he got a good specimen. The surgeon came in and said the good news was, there was no cancer found. But the bad news was, he wasn’t sure the specimen was the tissue he wanted to see because it didn’t quite correlate. He suggested removing the mass surgically and we scheduled that to be done on 6/21.
\nI know this is probably TMI, but I can’t stress enough how important it is to stay on top of your self care. Here I am, turning 65 next week, and having this done. It’s easy to blow it off, procrastinate, ignore. It’s just as easy to wait too long and miss something. My surgeon is still quite sure this is benign, but it’s something that cannot be ignored and we need to get it taken care of. Then they can do a proper test on the tissue and I can stop worrying about it. Get your mammogram, girls. It’s important. ❤
\n“Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.”\n1 Corinthians 6:19-20 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2018-06-09T01:30:36-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/06/09/the-importance-of-getting-a.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Wisdom","Aging","Warning","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/05/31/the-power-of-words.html", "title": "The Power of Words", "content_html": "![\"Shhhhhhhh\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/286bc98eb3.jpg\")
“Shhhhhh…..”
Events of the last couple of years, and certainly the last week, have demonstrated the absolute destructive power of the spoken word. Caution…I am NOT discussing politics here nor specific individuals or what has been said. What I’m talking about is society’s shift toward having no filter whatsoever. My elderly aunt once said something to me that was downright mean-spirited. When she was done, I just looked at her calmly and said, “You know, that was very mean.” She said, “Yeah, well…it popped into my head so I figured I might as well say it!” Ok…she’s 84 with declining mental faculties. I can forgive that. But some of the things I hear these days makes me want to hold my hands over my ears and go screaming into the night.
\nYesterday, one of the news channels out of Denver that I still follow was airing a live video feed of a cow elk in labor and attempting to give birth. It was pretty boring, actually. I mean…how long can to sit and stare at a cow elk laying down, standing up, laying down, standing up, pushing, laying down…you get the picture. There was no “happy ending” coming anytime soon and there had already been sixteen hours of this. I soon bored of watching the elk who was desperately trying to become a mama and started reading the comments people were making.
\nI was appalled. What started out innocently enough, ie “Oh, no! Is the mama cow in trouble? This has been going on a long time!” to “You stupid ******* idiot, it’s an elk, not a cow!” to “Veal comes from a boy calf who gets ripped from his mama and kept in the dark and fed only milk.” to “YOU’RE the ******* cow, *****!” Holy cats! It took five minutes to go south. People seem to be of the opinion, like my elderly, slightly dotty aunt, that if it pops in your head, you might as well say it.
\nPeople who have seen great commercial success have seen their empires crumble for saying abhorrent things. Men have lost their careers and everything they have built because of things they said. I am NOT standing up for those men who are truly deserving of retribution and I totally think you need to be held accountable for the things that come out of your mouth. But, you have to ask yourself, what would keep a disgruntled employee or associate from claiming such abuse when the accused is actually innocent. You know it happens.
\nWhen is it ok to be a racist? The answer is…never. When is it ok to be anti Semitic? The answer is…never. When is it ok to be homophobic and denigrate someone on social media for their sexual preference? The answer is…never. Liberals, conservatives, gay, straight, black, white, and every shade in between…we’re all the same inside. We all bleed red and breathe oxygen. The thing is…I don’t think of it as being “politically correct.” I think of it as being a decent human being with good character. God tells us in the Bible that the tongue has incredible power. We can bring blessings or curses…life or death…light or darkness. All with a muscle the size of a small banana.
\nSuch power words have. Lifelong scars can happen in an instant. Broken promises. Little white lies. Great big lies. Gossip. Slander. Such damage that can be done without thinking. We see it over and over. You’d think they’d learn, wouldn’t you?
\nProverb 10:19 says…”Sin is not ended by multiplying words, but the prudent hold their tongues.” Proverbs 15:4 says “The soothing tongue is a tree of life, but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit.” Matthew 15:11 says…”What goes into someone’s mouth does not defile them, but what comes out of their mouth, that is what defiles them.” The Bible warns over and over and over to hold your tongue. Watch your words. I am as guilty as anyone for speaking before thinking…far too many times. But age and maturity and God’s grace is going far toward helping me keep a rein in on my tongue. And what I miss, God forgives me when I am truly repentant. I hope the next generation learns this. I hope they learn the delicate art of speaking gently. ❤
\n“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”\nEphesians 4:29 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-05-31T01:30:32-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/05/31/the-power-of-words.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","Growth","Grace","God","Peace","Wisdom","Anger","Courage","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/05/26/memorial-day-weekend.html", "title": "Memorial Day Weekend", "content_html": "
![\"Cemetery](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/a6c41170e9.jpg\")
\nMy mom is buried on the far end there. She has purple flowers. Purple was her favorite color. Just ask anyone who knew her. It went so well with her perfectly white hair. Her headstone has my brother’s name engraved beside hers. The next headstone is my Uncle Bob’s. He lived at home all his life. He had a bad stutter and the kids at school made fun of him so Grandma kept him home to work the farm. He was strong as an ox and had the gentle heart of a lamb. His job every week was to ring the church bell to gather the worshipers at the little white church house on the hill. His headstone is engraved with “Mgr. of the Bell”. He was an angel unawares.
\nGrandma then Pop-Pop come next. Then Uncle Sonny who was killed in a plane crash in Germany in 1955. He was an Air Force Pilot. He was the light of everyone’s life and the light dimmed greatly for this family when he left us. Even though I don’t remember him, the stories I’ve heard all my life make me feel like I knew him.
\nTucked between the two far headstones is a small tuft of Mr. Virgo’s silver hair that I buried when I moved here. Even though he is buried overlooking the house we shared in Colorado, I wanted a piece of him here in the family cemetery where I could visit him. One of my friends lives just a stone’s throw from Mr. Virgo’s final resting place overlooking the golf course we used to play. I texted her yesterday and asked her, yet again, if she could leave a handful of wildflowers on his grave for me this weekend. I know he will get his flag, but I wanted him to have flowers, too. Jeanne told me that even though she never met him when he was living, she feels a kinship with him. She speaks to him every day when she walks through the graves on her way to the hiking trail in the hills beyond. She is always happy to lay a lilac or a peony with a whispered hello from me. She told me she found a glow in the dark golf ball and set it on her kitchen sink. She’s going to take that along as well. He’ll love that!
\nHere’s a salute to all the men and women who gave of themselves to serve our country. Here’s to those who soldiered on at home while their loved ones were gone. And here’s to the Gold Star parents whose child gave their all, most often on foreign soil, far removed from any comfort they may have provided. That loss weighed so heavy on my grandma. She always pictured that maybe, if she were there, she could have at least been there in his final moments, even though he was killed instantly. A mother thinks these things.
\nAs you celebrate the first grand weekend of summer…please, remember. ??❤??
\n“Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear; though war break out against me, even then I will be confident. One thing I ask from the Lord, this only do I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze on the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple. For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling; he will hide me in the shelter of his sacred tent and set me high upon a rock.”\nPsalm 27:3-5 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2018-05-26T01:30:32-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/05/26/memorial-day-weekend.html", "tags": ["Family","Grief","Prayer","West Virginia","Love","Holiday","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/05/21/campfire-and-conversation.html", "title": "Campfire and Conversation", "content_html": "![\"Woodpecker](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/66ea230d11.jpg\")
“A pileated woodpecker has decimated this tall pine tree at the edge of the campground.”
This trip has been such a blessing to me. Laughter is the best medicine and there has been so much joy shared between us as we sit and work with our hands. We have shared stories and learned more about each other. We have loved on our furry friends, including a little stray black cat who showed up Friday night. We think someone must have dumped him along the road because he is so friendly. He’s the camp cat for now and will more than likely go home with the camphost as her husband has taken a shine to him.
\n![\"Alpaca](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/e290c18b2b.jpg\")
“The hat I knitted from the yarn Gail spun from Alpaca and wool.”
I’ve become very close friends with our camphost, Gail. She is a woman of strong faith. She reminds me of the woman in Proverbs 31. She’s the kind of woman you want to learn from and emulate. She is kind, courageous, fair, fun, and family oriented. And talented? OMGosh! She can do anything. I just love her to the moon and back. Her husband took Mr. FixIt fishing last night and he had a blast. They only caught one fish between them, but they had good fellowship and got to know each other better.
\n![\"Girl](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/a6b41c1c3b.jpg\")
“Mr. FixIt enjoys his morning coffee in one of the Girl Camper mugs.”
This is one of the things I love about Mr. FixIt. He has friends outside of our relationship. I loved Mr. Virgo…you know that. And, he had no real friendships other than me. He had friends he worked with, but he never did anything without me. I was telling the girls around the campfire the other night…I never would have been a Girl Camper or a Sister on the Fly if Mr. Virgo were still living. It’s just not something I would have done…even though it was something I would have enjoyed. This is the difference in the woman I have become since losing him. I am far more independent. And, I am more assertive…something Mr. FixIt deeply appreciates in me.
\n![\"Three](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/1bd8e4696e.jpg\")
“Campfire and Corgis”
Loss changed me. It was terribly difficult. It tore me apart and dropped me in pieces on the ground. When it came time to rebuild, I put myself back together in a way that suited this new life…this new me. I love this me that I am today. While I hate what happened to get me here, I am grateful for this new life and all the new people that have been brought into it.
\nYes, this trip is just what the doctor ordered. Food, fun, and frolic…Girl Camper style! ❤️
\n“A good woman is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds. Her husband trusts her without reserve, and never has reason to regret it. Never spiteful, she treats him generously all her life long. She shops around for the best yarns and cottons, and enjoys knitting and sewing. She’s like a trading ship that sails to faraway places and brings back exotic surprises. She’s up before dawn, preparing breakfast for her family and organizing her day. She looks over a field and buys it, then, with money she’s put aside, plants a garden. First thing in the morning, she dresses for work, rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started. She senses the worth of her work, is in no hurry to call it quits for the day. She’s skilled in the crafts of home and hearth, diligent in homemaking. She’s quick to assist anyone in need, reaches out to help the poor. She doesn’t worry about her family when it snows; their winter clothes are all mended and ready to wear. She makes her own clothing, and dresses in colorful linens and silks. Her husband is greatly respected when he deliberates with the city fathers. She designs gowns and sells them, brings the sweaters she knits to the dress shops. Her clothes are well-made and elegant, and she always faces tomorrow with a smile. When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say, and she always says it kindly. She keeps an eye on everyone in her household, and keeps them all busy and productive. Her children respect and bless her; her husband joins in with words of praise: “Many women have done wonderful things, but you’ve outclassed them all!” Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades. The woman to be admired and praised is the woman who lives in the Fear-of- GOD. Give her everything she deserves! Festoon her life with praises!”\nProverbs 31:10-31 MSG
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-05-21T01:30:18-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/05/21/campfire-and-conversation.html", "tags": ["Travel","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Strong Women","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","Fun","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Peace","Wisdom","Presence","Girl Camper","Girl Campers"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/05/17/campfirenatures-therapist.html", "title": "Campfire...Nature’s Therapist", "content_html": "
![\"Campfire](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/26d1bd7bc2.jpg\")
“A campfire is cheaper than therapy.”
There is something incredibly special about girl camping…be it with an organization like Girl Campers or Sisters on the Fly, or just a group of like-minded gal pals who like to get out in the great outdoors. Sometimes conversations go deep. Sometimes you open up about things you never dreamed you’d talk about. You meet strangers and they become Sisters. You laugh. You cry. You learn. There is always common ground with someone.
\nCamping can be as simple as a pup tent or a minivan or as complex as a big travel trailer or motor home. Meals can be simple throw together salads to an elaborate spread of grand proportions. It can be a fee free gathering of two or three to an epic multi day extravaganza with a hundred or more gathered for “Cowgirl College”. The bottom line is always the same…get away from everyday life and become a girl again.
\nI never camped with my family when I was growing up. The closest was a week in a cabin along the North Fork of the South Branch of the Potomac River in the mountains of West Virginia. I went to church camp in 7th grade. And I camped a handful of times as an adult. But I never learned the joys of girl camping till after Mr. Virgo died. Girl camping saved me. They taught be that he died…I did not. They set examples of how to be self reliant. They taught me new skills. They taught me that, even in my grief, it was ok to laugh.
\nMiss Maizie, the original Sister on the Fly, was still camping in her nineties…a martini in one hand and a cigar in the other. And, while I don’t drink or smoke, I can surely identify with that independent, carefree spirit.
\nI know camping is not for everyone…I certainly don’t rough it. I camp like a girl and sleep on 800 count sheets on a memory foam mattress. I have a bathroom and a shower and a full kitchen. I have a house on wheels. Some would not even call that camping. For me, if there’s the sound of nature at night, if there’s a campfire, and I can sit beneath the stars and laugh with good friends…that’s camping for me. If you’ve never had the opportunity to do this I hope you try it at some point in your life. My heart is happy in my camper. ❤
\n“The wise prevail through great power, and those who have knowledge muster their strength.”\nProverbs 24:5 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2018-05-17T01:30:14-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/05/17/campfirenatures-therapist.html", "tags": ["Travel","Uplifting Stories","Strong Women","Sisters on the Fly","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","Fun","goRVing","Peace","Wisdom","Girl Camper","Girl Campers"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/05/16/im-walkin-on-sunshine.html", "title": "I’m Walkin’ on Sunshine", "content_html": "![\"Coffee](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/3dde8e3c8d.jpg\")
“Sitting in the morning sun, coffee in hand, Country Living Magazine…birds and roosters entertaining me. It’s a beautiful life!”
One of summer’s delights in the east…a warm morning spent outside reading and sipping my morning coffee. We’ve hit the summer thunderboomer circuit early this year here in West Virginia. The skies are brilliantly clear in the morning. The humidity is high from the rain the afternoon before. The temperature soars by noon and the thunderclouds begin to build till they boil over. Thunder, lightning, hail, high winds all can play havoc with your plans.
\nMowing seems to be the big thing around here in the summer. I have to say, I did not miss lawn care and home maintenance in the years I traveled and lived in TOW-Wanda. It was a welcome break. But now that I have the chance to dive into the great outdoors and get dirty and sweaty, I have to admit, it beats going to a gym any day of the week.
\nI mowed with the self-propelled push mower at the farm yesterday. What a workout! The yard is well over an acre, the temperature in the high eighties, the humidity sticky and thick. With my propensity towards heat exhaustion, I only mowed 15-20 minutes at a time, then took a break to rehydrate and lay in front of the fan. At that rate, it took me five hours to complete. It’s so beautiful when it’s finished. I took a few moments to just wander around and enjoy the surroundings. The rhododendron is just about to burst into bloom, as are the irises and peonies. The farm cats lazed around beneath the Rose of Sharon and the huge hydrangea bush along the creek. While the flowering quince is fading, the spice bush is in full bloom. I love this time of year.
\nWe are getting things geared up here at the Ponderosa to prepare for a summer of entertaining. Mr. FixIt has been working in the pool to get it open. We still need to pressure wash the deck but will wait for a dry spell. I’m heading out today for another road trip. This time I’ll be camping with the Girl Campers at a State Park in Ohio for a week. It’s a Mister Sister event so my mister will be joining me this weekend. I love camping with the girls! This year, our hostess…my dear friend Gail…is going to teach me to spin wool for sock yarn. I’ll have time to sit and knit on my socks and finally read my friend Michelle Cummins’ new book, The Reel Sisters. Peace and quiet in the beautiful woods surrounding one of my favorite campgrounds.
\nAs I sit here on the deck in the warm sunshine, a nice breeze blowing, listening to the rooster down the road, reading Country Living Magazine…my heart is overflowing with the blessings of my life. I’m such a far cry from the early days of my grief. The contrast is startling. The heart can mend itself…scarred, certainly. But infinitely full of hope. ❤️
\n“So I rejoice, and I am glad. Even my body has hope.”\nPsalms 16:9 INternational Children’s Bible
\n", "date_published": "2018-05-16T06:39:50-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/05/16/im-walkin-on-sunshine.html", "tags": ["Faith","Travel","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","West Virginia","The Farm","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Peace","Wisdom","Humbled","Presence","Girl Camper","Girl Campers","Choices","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/05/14/sharing.html", "title": "Sharing", "content_html": "![\"Tilling](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/36de96e4fc.jpg\")
“Tilling in his garden.”
The other day I told you Mr. FixIt put in a garden for “me”. I was so excited. I haven’t had a garden in ages and I was really looking forward to going out and getting my hands in the dirt. Then, before I knew it, Mr. FixIt had the plants and the seeds in the ground. sigh
\nI was really disappointed. Then I looked at it a different way. Why should I get to have all the fun things? Riding the big lawn mower is a whole lot more fun than pushing the smaller one…but, Mr. FixIt pushes it for me. Hooking up, towing, and unhooking my camper is a lot more fun for me than sitting and watching someone else do it. The same is true for Mr. FixIt.
\nHe has always had a garden. It gives him great joy to do that. Who am I to take his joy away from him? He brings me joy every day in some way. Like, the roses and the sweet card he gave me for Mother’s Day. Like, standing in church holding my hand…the other hand raised. Like, a million little things. I can let him have his garden…and the resulting bragging rights. I don’t have to do everything. I don’t have to control everything. I can just…be. Sometimes, less is more. ❤️
\n“Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men,”\nColossians 3:23 ESV
\n", "date_published": "2018-05-14T01:30:34-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/05/14/sharing.html", "tags": ["West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Wisdom","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/05/12/mothers-day-weekend.html", "title": "Mother’s Day Weekend", "content_html": "![\"Mother’s](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/87cd6b3f63.jpg\")
“My mother’s love is with me always.”
I went to the farm yesterday. I wanted to spend some time in my mother’s childhood home…the home of my heart. I miss my mom and I feel closer to her when I’m in the house she loved so much. Grandma’s house was the epicenter of our universe. She was happiest when she had all her kids and grandkids surrounding her. I can relate to that.
\nMy mom was special…as are all moms, right? She had a heart of gold. She had a laugh that I craved. She was simple. She was stubborn. She was pretty. She was generous. She loved with every ounce of her being. She took care of my brother till the Lord called her home. She was…good.
\nWe butted heads a lot when I was growing up…like most of us do. She insisted on doing things the l-o-n-g way and it made me crazy. She was an excellent seamstress. She basted everything together and was meticulous. I threw things together as fast as I could. That made HER crazy!
\nShe was a terrible cook. But she made a pineapple upside down cake that made you cry it was so good. When microwaves came out, she decided she had to have one to heat up her coffee. That’s when she switched to Folgers Instant. She bought the biggest microwave I have ever seen in my life…to heat up a coffee cup full of water. Oy. Did I mention she made me crazy?
\nMy mother taught me many things but most importantly, she taught me about God. It didn’t stick for a long, long time for me. As a matter of fact, I became a Christian after she passed away, so she never experienced that particular joy. I think the one thing I regret most as a mother is not teaching my children the love of God. They are grown, and they are lovely women. I try to live my life as an example. I love them and miss them very much.
\nThis is my 14th Mother’s Day without my mom. My kids are in Colorado so I won’t see them until I head there this summer. So, when I came back from the farm yesterday, Mr. FixIt had two dozen roses and a beautiful card with a handwritten note in it resting on the kitchen counter. What a sweet, thoughtful man this is. He just makes me smile!!
\nIf you are missing your mom today, my heart is with you, dear one. Losing your mom is such a sad, sad affair. If you are missing your babies, whether they live far away or further…in heaven…my heart breaks for you. I cannot imagine that loss. You are all in my prayers this Mother’s Day Weekend. ❤️
\n“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.”\nProverbs 22:6 ESV
\n", "date_published": "2018-05-12T01:30:41-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/05/12/mothers-day-weekend.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Grief","West Virginia","The Farm","Gratitude","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/05/11/keep-walking.html", "title": "Keep Walking", "content_html": "![\"Encouragement](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/008b3d5e59.jpg\")
“Keep walking, dear one.”
I have several people in my life who are walking a challenging path right now. From my cousin with mesothelioma to a friend’s first grandchild being born with physical challenges. From my friend who is selling the home she and her late husband raised their family in to the beautiful women in my small group from church who are facing some pretty big things right now. There are new widows and new moms and new grandmas out there who need extra love and support today. To all of you who are facing challenges…let me say this.
\nYou are beautiful.
\nYou are stronger than you think.
\nYou are loved.
\nYou are being prayed for.
\nNo matter how difficult and challenging life becomes…
\nStand up.
\nKeep walking.
\nKeep moving forward.
\nYou are worthy.
\nYou are enough.
\nYou are a Child of God.
\nIt’s ok to cry.
\nIt’s ok to not be ok.
\nJust hang in there…things will get better. Maybe not right away…but they will get better.
\nI love you.
\n❤️
\n“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”\nEphesians 4:29 ESV
\n#encouragement, #BuildingUp, #love
\n", "date_published": "2018-05-11T01:30:52-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/05/11/keep-walking.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","Growth","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/05/09/like-a-boss.html", "title": "Like a Boss", "content_html": "![\"Brakes\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/743c557582.jpg\")
“Be prepared when you speak to a mechanic. Do your homework and walk in like a boss.”
When you are on your own, you need to be proactive and assertive when you are dealing with people in service related businesses. I recently had to have brakes and rotors on all four wheels. While I did get advice from my trusted inner circle, I always do these things on my own. When Mr. FixIt wants to help me do things like this, I gently remind him that…while I appreciate it tremendously…I need to do these things because he may not be around someday when I need something done. This has been quite an adjustment for him, but I love when he brags on my capabilities to his guy friends.
\nI have noticed a squeak in the new brakes the last few days so I took the truck back in yesterday to have it checked. It still was squeaking afterwards, so I’ll watch it for a couple of days then take it back again if need be. I don’t apologize to them. They need to make it right. That’s what I’m paying for. I know the small metal pin that squeaks when you need to have brakes replaced can sometimes be bent. Hopefully, it’s something that easy.
\nYesterday was jam packed. Errands all morning. Then Mr. FixIt and I walked the Quincy Hill steps. I mowed at the farm. And when I got over to his house, he was tilling in a garden for me. We bought some tomato plants Monday. I’m so excited! I haven’t had a garden in decades. The only down side is, there are a couple of sweet little bunnies who hang out in the area where the garden is so we’ll have to figure a way to keep them out. Do bunnies eat tomato plants? They are pretty aromatic. I’ve never gardened where rabbits were a problem. Ours was always deer lined up like they’re heading into a buffet!
\nI love days like this! ❤️
\n“And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.”\nLuke 6:31 ESV
\n", "date_published": "2018-05-09T01:30:23-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/05/09/like-a-boss.html", "tags": ["Strong Women","Positive Energy","West Virginia","The Farm","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/04/16/back-to-square-one.html", "title": "Back to Square One", "content_html": "![\"Breakfast](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/0dbb8d56bc.jpg\")
“Back to Square One”
I need to exercise more! After sitting on my hiney all winter long writing and working on my website, I went out Friday and Saturday and worked in the yard. As I began my two hour excursion on the riding mower, the word “sunscreen” flitted through my mind like a feather on the wind and was gone just as quickly. After all, I had a broad brimmed hat on…what could go wrong? Ohhhh…I paid for that Saturday night. I couldn’t find anything in the house to put on my sunburned arms and shoulders and felt too miserable to even think about looking up home remedies on the internet. Then yesterday morning I tried to get out of bed and discovered muscles I’d forgotten I had. The word grumpy comes to mind. I turned over and went back to sleep and ended up missing morning services.
\nI looked in the mirror the other day and realized all that hard work I did climbing all those stairs a couple years ago is long gone. Hard muscles have been replaced with something between cottage cheese and pizza dough. My stamina is decreased, I get sick easier, and I’m turning sixty-five in two months. This simply will not do! I told Mr. FixIt we have to get back in gear this spring. Fortunately, he’s a good eater and loves to exercise so I have a partner to motivate me.
\nWe will be heading to the Outer Banks this week. The bikes are coming with us this time. I anticipate lots of long walks on the beach and bike rides in the evenings. The weather will be cool but hopefully the rain will stay away for the most part. If not, there is an exercise room at the condo complex. We have a full kitchen in our place so we can eat well and stay out of expensive, fattening restaurants. It will be nice to get away and sit by the ocean for a while. We have visits with family coming up as well on this trip so we’re really looking forward to the break. ❤
\n“This is what the Lord says, he who appoints the sun to shine by day, who decrees the moon and stars to shine by night, who stirs up the sea so that its waves roar— the Lord Almighty is his name:”\nJeremiah 31:35 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2018-04-16T01:30:17-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/04/16/back-to-square-one.html", "tags": ["Travel","Positive Energy","Fun","Growth","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Change","Monday Morning Motivation"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/04/15/new-things.html", "title": "New Things", "content_html": "![\"Lawnmower\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/7aab202335.jpg\")
“It’s that time of year!”Mr. FixIt has five acres. He used to mow all of it but in the last few years, he’s left that back acre or so to be brush hogged a couple of times a year. Still, four acres is a pretty impressive amount of mowing. I filled up my water bottle, put on my wide brimmed hat and radio headphones and cranked up the tunes. I rock and rolled out there for a good two hours and it wasn’t bad at all. Then I used the push mower to get some of the places I couldn’t reach with the rider and that about did me in. It was probably ninety degrees out there and I really should have known better. I don’t tolerate heat very well at all anymore. Fortunately, I do know to quit at the very first symptoms of overheating. I came in and took a cool shower, drank some fluids with electrolytes, ate a banana, and laid down under the ceiling fan. I soon felt much better, although I’m going to be pretty sore today.
\nMr. FixIt was very proud of my accomplishments. He asked if that was the first time I’d ever mowed on a riding mower. I grinned ear to ear. He laughed and said, “It just might get old after a while!” Yeah, probably…but it sure was fun yesterday. He was thrilled to have the extra help and that made me feel good. He changed his oil and got a lot of work done while I mowed. If I hadn’t have helped, he’d have been out there hours longer. The Bible says two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor. If one falls down, one can help the other up. Mr. FixIt and I make a good team. ❤
\n“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. He determines the number of the stars; he gives to all of them their names. Great is our Lord, and abundant in power; his understanding is beyond measure.”\nPsalms 147:3-5 ESV
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-04-15T01:30:01-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/04/15/new-things.html", "tags": ["Family","Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","West Virginia","Gratitude","Grace","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/04/14/sacrosanct.html", "title": "Sacrosanct", "content_html": "
![\"Two](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/c209f0ee3e.jpg\")
“It’s good to love again.”
Fridays. Since we first started dating, Fridays have been declared “sacrosanct”…too important or valuable to be interfered with. We don’t make plans with anyone on Fridays. That’s OUR day. We go where we want, do what we want. No obligations other than to enjoy each other’s company to the fullest. I’ve come to love Fridays. We look forward all week long to our special day. It’s special because we declared it so.
\nWe packed up from our week at the farm and headed back to the Ponderosa yesterday. We went to Walmart and bought oil and a filter so I could change the oil on my truck before we leave next week for the beach. It was only the second time I’ve changed the oil and Mr. FixIt sat right there and answered any questions I had. He handed me tools. And he offered words of encouragement when things didn’t go quite as smoothly as they had the first time. First, I tried using the creeper…that thing you lay on and roll under the vehicle. The new ramps Mr. FixIt bought aren’t as high as the old ones and with the creeper under me, I was feeling way too cramped. So I scooted back out and started over by wiggling under the truck. The engine was still pretty warm so the oil was runny and when I took the plug out of the oil pan, it sprayed everywhere. All over me…in my hair. What a mess. But, eventually…I got it done.
\nI have never had a qualm about doing hefty projects around the house, but I always deferred things like changing the oil to the man of the house or the guy at Jiffy Lube. It never occurred to me to do these things. But after Mr. Virgo died, I felt so incompetent at so many things. I vowed I would learn how to do anything that needed doing so I would never feel that vulnerable again. Mr. FixIt is an excellent teacher and has infinite patience with me. At first, I think it bothered him a bit that I wanted to do things myself. It gives him great pleasure to do things for me. Now he seems to get a big kick out of watching me accomplish something and be so proud of myself.
\nLoving after loss is different. I’m much more independent and assertive than I have ever been. This love encompasses fierce bravery and incredible tenderness. Case in point…I was putting laundry away yesterday when the song “At Last” came on the playlist. Out of the blue, I was standing in Rivers Restaurant on a crisp April day…dancing in Mr. Virgo’s arms. Our first, and only, dance was at our wedding reception. Nine times out of ten, I can hear that song and smile. Not yesterday. I sat on the edge of the bed and cried. It’s a short song. It was soon over and I dried my eyes and went on about my work. Later, I walked through the kitchen and Mr. FixIt was doing dishes. I stopped and watched him for a few moments. When he was finished, he turned and saw me standing there and smiled as he wiped his hands.
\n“I love you more than I ever dreamed possible,” I said. “And, even with that deep love, I just sat on the bed and cried when “At Last” came on.”
\nHe knows the significance of the song. He opened his arms wide and drew me into his embrace. He held me close and whispered into my hair.
\n“Of course you did, sweetheart. It brings back memories.”
\nThat’s all. No attempt to jolly me out of it. No rush to move me along and change the subject. Just honor. And love. And support. And validation. No one…no one could ever ask for anything more beautiful than that. What a wonderful man.
\nI love Fridays. ❤
\n“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.”\n1 Peter 4:8 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2018-04-14T01:30:03-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/04/14/sacrosanct.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","Wisdom","Choices","Change","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/04/09/hiraeth.html", "title": "Hiraeth", "content_html": "![\"Hiraeth](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/a7753ffc19.jpg\")
“Hiraeth…a longing for a home you can’t return to.”
A Welsh word for the yearning…the grief for the places of your past. Yet, not necessarily a house. A place in your life that you can never return to. This is so much of what grief is…that longing to return to that homely feeling of the love you shared with another. I remember feeling this so very strongly after losing my grandma. And then my mom. It consumed me when I lost Mr. Virgo…that longing for home.
\nI felt it when I lost my dad, but in a different way. I yearned for the daddy I never had…not the father that was lost in his cups. I feel it from time to time for my mother’s house that I regretted selling almost before the ink was dry.
\nI feel it in a way, at this very moment, lying in my grandparent’s bedroom…knowing each day here is one closer to the last I will experience in this place. Anticipatory hiraeth. I wonder if that’s a “thing”?
\nI know this word. I feel this word in my bones. The dichotomy is not lost on me. Unspeakable joy, unspeakable tragedy, unspeakable joy. The ebb and flow of life swings with such violence at times. Right now, I’m enjoying an easy float down a peaceful stream, my fingers gently trailing in the calm blue water. But my bones remember. Bones never forget. ❤️
\n“By faith we understand that the universe was created by the word of God, so that what is seen was not made out of things that are visible.”\nHebrews 11:3 ESV
\n#Hiraeth, #longing, #love, #home
\n", "date_published": "2018-04-09T01:30:04-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/04/09/hiraeth.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Growth","Wisdom","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/04/05/standing-on-the-edge.html", "title": "Standing on the Edge", "content_html": "![\"Holding](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/952bc54cfb.jpg\")
“The Sweetest Love”
Ever since I changed my Twitter handle to @GriefMaven, I’ve been meeting the coolest people in the grief support community. I have had more interaction and made more connections in the last month than I did in all of the five years prior. I have to admit, I didn’t really “get” Twitter. You send some random thought out, you throw a few hashtags with it in the hopes someone else is interested in said hashtagged subjects, then they like your Tweet. Maybe you get the cherished “Retweet” where they like it so much, they send it on. Or…the Holy Grail of Tweetdom…they FOLLOW you! They like you enough to watch what you’ll say next. I get it now. You can truly build a community in Twitter and I must say I am enjoying it tremendously. It’s an excellent platform to build each other up.
\nIn the process of tweeting and retweeting, I find writers I may not have found otherwise. Such is the case of Catherine Tidd. She wrote a guest post on Hello Grief (hellogrief.org) about dating. The horse has already left the barn for me, but some of you may be thinking about dating again. If so, I couldn’t have written a better article about it that Catherine did with “Time to Cast the Line”. (I’ll leave the link at the bottom of this post.)
\nEver since I started dating Mr. FixIt, there has been this deep “feeling” I haven’t been able to express. It flits to the surface on occasion and I stuff it back down because people might not understand. Heck…even I don’t understand. So I stuff it back down, feeling like I should be celebrating something but can’t let myself. Catherine’s article articulates what I’ve been feeling so well, so I’ll just share it here. And then we’ll discuss it.
\nThis is the best relationship I have ever been in.
\nThere. I’ve said it. It’s the best, really. It’s deeper. It’s broader. It’s lighter. It’s easier. It’s filled with love and laughter and light and God. I was so afraid admitting this would somehow be disrespectful of what I had before. So, what does that mean about my marriage? My relationship with Mr. Virgo? Our life and love?
\nAbsolutely. Nothing.
\nYou know why? Because I’m not the same woman Mr. Virgo married. I’m not the same woman that lived with him. I’m not the same woman that loved him. I’m so much more now…BECAUSE I had him. BECAUSE I was married to him. BECAUSE I loved him. And…BECAUSE he died. I hate when people tell you everything happens for a reason. My friend, Debbie Weiss (@thehungoverwidow) says she hates when someone says everything happens for a reason, as if her husband’s death was necessary to stave off a plague of frogs. (Read her…she’s funny!)
\nI didn’t have to lose Mr. Virgo to gain some sort of amazing insight into my existence. I didn’t have to lose him to achieve a grand level of personal growth. But…those things happened, and I’m a different person than I was before. (Remember my pickle/cucumber analogy?) Like Catherine says in her article…who knows if Mr. Virgo would even LIKE who I am now? I’m stronger and much more outspoken. I’m a hundred times more independent. When I want to pick up and go…I go. He told me from the outset that he didn’t date women who wanted to pick up and go. He wanted someone who would be there with him. So…I was there. I don’t regret it. Not for a minute. But I’m not that same person. And, fortunately, Mr. FixIt knows that and understands me.
\nI could never find another man like Mr. Virgo. And if I did, maybe it wouldn’t work for me in this incarnation of myself. Does that mean I don’t still love him. Of course not. Does it mean I’ve “gotten over him?” Oh, h*** no! You don’t ever “get over” someone you loved with the white hot heat of the sun. But the sun is shining again. And…the sun shines bright now because I longed for the sun…I was so ready for the sun…I will cherish every moment I can get in the sun.
\nIt’s ok if you don’t ever want to date again. I am behind you 100%. Some people are just happy as little clams to not be bothered. Good for you! You know yourself and that is awesome. But, if you feel…even a little bit…that you miss the companionship of another, the warmth of another, the humor of another….don’t be afraid. There are good men out there. There really are. Mr. FixIt is proof of that. This is the best…really. ❤️
\n\n“And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us.”\n1 John 4:16-19 NIV
\n#love, #MovingForward, #relationships
\n", "date_published": "2018-04-05T01:30:48-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/04/05/standing-on-the-edge.html", "tags": ["Faith","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Change","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/04/01/he-is-risen.html", "title": "He is Risen!", "content_html": "![\"Resurrection](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/6956ca1ad9.jpg\")
“He is Risen!”
May you Rejoice and have a Blessed Easter. What was once nothing more than a Hallmark holiday for me has become a day of Rejoicing in the Risen Christ. Mr. FixIt and I went to church last night. They offered two services yesterday and two today. We felt Saturday would be less crowded. Wow…were we wrong! There wasn’t a seat in the place at the 5:00 service. The Worship Team outdid themselves and Pastor Justin gave an amazing message about just exactly WHO Jesus really is. It was wonderful!
\nIf you are a practicing Jew, this is the Passover season. I hope you enjoyed your Seders with friends and family and that your brisket was tender! I was a practicing Jew for 27 years. I organized the Seders for our small town. In 1986, we had 10 people. By the time I quit organizing them ten years later, 75 people attended. I had to finally give it over to a committee because it became too much. People brought side dishes and helped, but they always wanted me to make my famous Matzo Ball Soup and the Charoset and the Brisket and the Kugel. One year I even made homemade Gefilte Fish. It was a ton of work but there is nothing quite so fulfilling as feeding crowds their favorite holiday dishes.
\nI met my writing deadlines last week. Now it’s time to get those taxes done so it’s back to the farm tonight where I can spread out my papers without distraction. I’ve made continued progress on copying content over to the website. I wish I would have listened to my gut instincts four years ago and built the website then so I wouldn’t have this backlog. But, hindsight is 20/20. It will be great when everything is on the web page because you’ll be able to look back at the early posts more easily. When new widows come on board, they may not find posts they can relate to in my current writing. So I want them to have easy access to relatable topics.
\nIt’s April…can you believe that??? My Pop-Pop was born 119 years ago. He died when he was 72. I had just graduated from high school and it was my first experience with death. My Grandma was so strong. She lost a son 15 years before in a plane crash. I miss them so much. Their farm offers me solace and it’s such a peaceful place to write.
\nEnjoy this beautiful spring day! ❤️
\n“They found the stone rolled away from the tomb, but when they entered, they did not find the body of the Lord Jesus.”\nLuke 24:2-3 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2018-04-01T01:30:30-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/04/01/he-is-risen.html", "tags": ["Faith","Prayer","Hope","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Holiday","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/03/21/my-source-of-peace.html", "title": "My Source of Peace", "content_html": "![\"Source](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/301b2b3248.jpg\")
“The Lord is my refuge, my source of Peace.”
I worked again yesterday copying my posts from the Marshmallow Ranch Facebook page over to www.marshmallowranch.com. I feel this sense of urgency to get that finished, especially with the negative press FB has been receiving of late. In the past, diving back into my early writings took me to dark places I really had no business visiting very often. I remember during the first year after becoming a widow, I took TOW-Wanda to southwest Colorado and parked her on my dear friend Sue’s ten acres overlooking Mesa Verde. Sue is my yogi earth mother friend who holds me in her heart from long distances in space and time. We just have this beautiful connection. I remember sitting with her, quietly having tea and watching the abundance of birds at the numerous feeders on her veranda. I was avoiding writing because it was too painful.
\n“You must write now…simply BECAUSE it is painful. If you wait too long, you will lose your voice. The angst will be healed and we will miss feeling your heart in your words.”
\nAs I’m copying my early work, I can see what she means. I read the emotions in every word. The ups. The downs. The mask of happiness. The mask of relationships. The mask of strength. Inside I was screaming down the hallways of my 3:00 mind, jiggling doorknobs…desperate to get out of that hell I found myself in.
\nFive years out, I see that pain differently. I see the place when I started finding my refuge in God. When I truly learned to seek His face…His peace. I remember clearly the day I heard the Holy Spirit whisper, “You must tell them where you find your peace.” I remember clearly arguing with Him and saying, “Oh, no…I really don’t!” And…as in most arguments I have with God…He won.
\nI try to walk my faith out in my writing without beating people over the head with it. My grandma always said you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink. I cannot change anyone’s views on faith. I don’t even try. I just tell you how I feel. I tell you what has worked for me. I tell you where I find my peace. I lay it all down here. Pick it up. Don’t pick it up. That’s not for me to decide. I know there are people who grieve without faith. I will never criticize another’s walk. I have enough trouble walking my own path. Personally, I cannot imagine doing this without God. He has brought me great comfort and peace. He is my refuge. But I love you and embrace you no matter what your grief walk looks like. I just pray my words help you in some way.
\nGrief is like wearing a pair of stiff leather shoes without socks…maybe with some gravel in them. Every step hurts worse than the last. You get blisters that break open and bleed. There are times you can barely walk for the pain. At some point, you think to shake the gravel out…like when I stopped looking at pictures of my dead husband in his casket. There…that’s a little easier. Then in time, you think maybe bandaids will fix everything and take the pain away…like when I tried dating WAY too soon only to find the wounds festering when I ripped the bandages off. Finally, I thought to ask God to take over and He led me to a cool spring and gave me a thick pair of comfortable wool socks to put on. Ahhhhh…..MUCH better. Finally, there comes a time when the leather has conformed, molding and cradling to your feet and carrying you step by step through your life. These worn-in shoes will never fall off…will never wear out. They’ll be there forever, reminding you of how awful they were when you first put them on. And one day, you will look down and smile because they’ll remind you…not so much of the pain, but of the love you walked with before you got them.
\nThey become love shoes. ❤️
\n““I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.””\nJohn 16:33 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-03-21T01:30:31-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/03/21/my-source-of-peace.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","God","Peace","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/03/19/spring-is-coming.html", "title": "Spring is Coming", "content_html": "
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/cba8453d1d.jpg\")
“Giant Hogweed”
Before too long, we’re going to be out and about…hiking, camping, fishing…and there’s something out there you need to be watching for. The Giant Hogweed was introduced to this country in the early 1900’s as an ornamental plant. It is huge with a purple, bristly stalk and a large umbrella of white flowers. And, it has a clear sap that makes skin extremely sensitive to sunlight causing severe second degree burns than can take months to heal. If the sap gets in your eyes it can cause temporary to permanent blindness, so it is nothing to trifle with.
\nBe on the lookout for Giant Hogweed. Do not come near it. Mark the area with a brightly colored strip of cloth and report it to the nearest Division of Natural Resources.
\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/59892f144e.jpg\")
“Giant Hogweed Distribution as of 2014”
Here is an article for more information. The map shows where the plant has been documented but it was 2014. It could have spread by now. Better to be safe than sorry. ❤️
\nhttps://www.ontarioinvasiveplants.ca/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/OIPC_BMP_Hogweed.pdf
\n“One of them went out into the fields to gather herbs and found a wild vine and picked as many of its gourds as his garment could hold. When he returned, he cut them up into the pot of stew, though no one knew what they were. The stew was poured out for the men, but as they began to eat it, they cried out, “Man of God, there is death in the pot!” And they could not eat it.”\n2 Kings 4:39-40 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-03-19T01:30:52-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/03/19/spring-is-coming.html", "tags": ["Camping","Wisdom","Warning"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/03/13/calming-the-waters.html", "title": "Calming the Waters", "content_html": "
![\"Calm](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/90d2796b7a.jpg\")
“Psalm 107:29 …the waves of the sea were hushed”
I woke up yesterday after a fitful night. I didn’t close my eyes till 3:30 in the morning…ruminating. That’s what my brain does WAY too often. Good reason this time, though. I awoke and the first thought was…this is the day. It’s here. How do I feel?
\nI felt…ok. Not up, but not down. Just…there.
\nI did my devotional. I read your kind and supportive comments. And I started my day. Mr. FixIt asked if I wanted to go to town with him, but I told him I really just wanted to stay home. A little self care was in order. I spoke with people yesterday I hadn’t talked to in years. People reached out to me. I got a ton of virtual hugs. And a bunch of real live ones. It was good.
\nI love how God answers prayers. He stilled the waters of my soul and filled me with peace yesterday. I puttered in the kitchen and made pot roast…one of my go to comfort foods. After dinner, Mr. FixIt and I watched The Voice…one of my go to comfort activities. I ended the day with a phone call with my sister-in-law, Robyn…one of my go to, all-time favorite people. It was a peaceful day.
\nThe other day, I was reviewing my social media accounts. I just don’t reach people other than word of mouth. The word “grief” is not in the name of my blog and while grief is not my only topic, it is still a big part of what goes on here…at least in the archives and when the waves come. When I created my Twitter account, Marshmallow Ranch had too many letters to go in the name so I abbreviated it making it even harder to find. I sat back and thought about it a while and suddenly a name popped in my head. “The Grief Maven”. Maven is Yiddish for expert and while not all people know the origins, enough people have an understanding of the urban definition, however tangentially. I created a Twitter account…@griefmaven…and started just putting out some memes I created with stuff I share about grief here. In one week I’ve had more activity than all the five years of the other account. A lesson learned in social media marketing.
\nI posted a tweet yesterday about it being the five year angelversary and within an hour I met two other widows who lost their husbands within a couple of weeks on either side of me. I love that. People I never would have had the opportunity to meet come together because of this blog. God stuff…very cool.
\nSo, I ended my day in a good space. The waters were stilled and I’m ready to see what good things come next. ❤
\n“He stilled the storm to a whisper; the waves of the sea were hushed.”\nPsalm 107:29 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2018-03-13T01:30:29-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/03/13/calming-the-waters.html", "tags": ["Faith","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Comfort","Grace","Peace","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/03/11/god-always-knows.html", "title": "God Always Knows", "content_html": "![\"Lewis](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/4bcfdd744f.jpg\")
“Lewis Cemetery”
As I’m sure you can tell, I’ve been dreading the fifth angelversary of Mr. Virgo’s death tomorrow. I’ve been really struggling the last week…to the point one of my dear friends contacted me yesterday to see how I was doing. Actually, by yesterday morning I was feeling much better, but I still felt something was missing. I couldn’t put my finger on it. Then a chain of events happened that directed my day and by last night I was lifted back up and set on solid ground. Here’s how it went down.
\nFirst, I slept a solid ten hours and awoke feeling refreshed. I’m not a terrific sleeper as a rule, but I slept like a stone. Mr. FixIt informed me a neighbor passed away and he needed to go to the funeral home. I assumed he would go without me, and quite frankly I didn’t think going to a funeral home when I was feeling down about my own loss was such a terrific idea. Then, he asked me if I wanted to go. We were at a funeral last weekend. Here, we were just going to the viewing. I didn’t know anyone, but something told me I should just go…so I dressed and went along.
\nI was introduced around to the family. I hugged the widow and spoke quietly with her for a bit, offering what comfort a stranger (yet a fellow widow) could give. I stood at the coffin, thinking the horrible memories of five years ago would come crashing on my head at any moment…but they did not. Instead of seeing Mr. Virgo in his casket, I saw a man who was very much missed by his best friend and my heart went out to her. I felt honored to be there and not sick or devastated. My dread started to dissipate.
\nWe ran home to change and Mr. FixIt asked what I wanted to do. I told him I wanted to run over to the cemetery where my great grandfather is buried. I hadn’t been there since I was a teenager and I wanted to see if there were any other family members from my tree buried there. So, from the funeral home to a cemetery. What could go wrong?
\nThe day was brisk but sunny. As we drove out the two lane blacktop, we passed a field and I did a double take. There, standing in the middle of a pasture, was a young man…high school age, perhaps…with a music stand playing a trombone! The sight was so incongruous Mr. FixIt and I both burst out laughing. The cemetery was around the next bend and as we walked among the tombstones, the timbre of the trombone wafted gently on the breeze over the far ridge. I could not help but smile, feeling God was sending me a sweet gift.
\nThe cemetery was a sight when we arrived. All of the flower containers had been knocked over, flowers strewn among the graves, flags honoring fallen soldiers laying on the ground…some half covered with leaves. We were preparing to leave when I turned and said, “I can’t leave them like this.” So, we walked around, straightening up, calling the dead ones by name. I remember so often going to visit Mr. Virgo’s grave across the road from our house in Colorado. I laid stones around the perimeter…one stone from every trip I took. I realized one of the things I was missing…and hurting over…was not being able to visit Mr. Virgo’s grave tomorrow. Instead, God lead me to visit an ancestor I never knew. Again…the feeling of dread lifted more.
\nWe were so close to the farm, we decided to go on out. Whenever I am feeling down, that farm is my panacea. I fed the kitties and walked through the rooms…touching the furniture, the doors, my grandparents bed. I walked around the house and checked on my ‘67 Franklin camper…”Joy”. I turned to Mr. FixIt.
\n“Can we take her over to your place soon and start working on her?” I asked hopefully.
\n“You bet we can.” Mr. FixIt smiled and gave me a big hug.
\nLift, lift, lift.
\nWe stopped and visited my cousin’s wife at her barn. She was feeding the chickens and the big white rabbit named Isabella.
\nLift, lift, lift.
\nWe drove to town and had supper at my favorite diner.
\nLift, lift, lift.
\nWe came home and I sat down to write. My dear friend who had been so concerned about me yesterday morning called and asked if I felt better after my drive. I really did! You know…every year is going to be another year since Mr. Virgo died. There will be times of sorrow. There will be reminders and waves of grief. I know I have the added blessing of having Mr. FixIt in my life. His heart is big enough to hold me AND Mr. Virgo. Such a good, good man. Letting go and letting God lift me up was the solution all along. There’s nothing God and a little sunshine can’t fix! ❤
\n“Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord has risen upon you. For behold, darkness shall cover the earth, and thick darkness the peoples; but the Lord will arise upon you, and his glory will be seen upon you.”\nIsaiah 60:1-2 ESV
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-03-11T01:30:21-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/03/11/god-always-knows.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Positive Energy","West Virginia","The Farm","Grace","Wisdom","Presence"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/03/10/letting-go-of-fear.html", "title": "Letting Go of Fear", "content_html": "
![\"Let](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/356736db01.jpg\")
“Let Go of Fear”
When I was writing yesterday’s post, I was feeling so overwhelmed. I have the usual stresses of everyday life…dental work that needs to be done, taxes that need to be filed, new brakes and inspection on the truck. Then there are the dead and dying…of which there are far too many. I hadn’t been sleeping well. Mr. FixIt has been busy and tired. I had that all too familiar feeling in the pit of my stomach that I was one crisis away from losing it altogether and I hate that. So I did what needed to be done…I had a good cry and went to church.
\nLast night was the Annual Women’s Conference at my church. There wasn’t an empty chair in the place. I don’t know if you have ever gone to an all women service before, but if you haven’t…you NEED to. Between the estrogen and Jesus, that place was electric. We have a great praise team and they didn’t disappoint. We played some get-to-know-each-other games. We had a share-your-selfie-on-social-media contest. There were prizes and cookies. Then Pastor Heather spoke about letting faith rise up in us instead of fear, worry, anxiety. She knew her audience. We are women. This is what we do.
\nThe thing is, by allowing fear to rise up in us instead of faith, we are not letting God do His job. We are trying to do it for Him. When we are standing in the storms of life, it is not our basic instinct to lay back and relax. We start rowing the boat double time. We try to skirt around the storm. We try to ignore the storm. We try to just wait out the storm. The quietest part of a hurricane is the eye. It is windless standing in the center. When we let go and let faith rise up in us, God sets us down in the eye where we are protected from the storm’s fury. In the meantime, we get out of God’s way so He can do His work.
\nBy the end of the evening, the atmosphere was fairly crackling. We were given symbolic coins and asked to hold them in our hands and charge them with the worries, stresses, anxieties, and fears that weigh us down and keep us from enjoying God’s Peace. As we left the conference, we threw those “coins” in a fountain in the lobby…symbolically leaving them behind. I felt so much better as I drove home. I still have all that stuff going on in my life, but now I’m reminded to let go and let God take care of His part. If I go to God FIRST, if I ask Him to take over, life just goes SO much smoother.
\nI was going to take a break this weekend, but I felt inspired to share this with you today and those who have been around long enough know I can’t go without writing every day. I hope you have a beautiful Saturday! ❤
\n“The Lord is with me; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?”\nPsalm 118:6 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-03-10T02:30:46-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/03/10/letting-go-of-fear.html", "tags": ["Faith","Overcoming Obstacles","Gratitude","God","Wisdom","Presence"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/03/04/endings-and-beginnings.html", "title": "Endings and Beginnings", "content_html": "
![\"Daffodils](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/e46bde4e19.jpg\")
Daffodils
I watched my husband die. It was fast. It seemed relatively painless. Not pain free, but not unbearable. He seemed to take everything in stride with a certain…resignation. Like he knew what was coming, so why fight it? Interestingly…it was like that for me too, looking back on it. I’m sure I was in shock, because every time I ever pictured what would happen if/when he died, it certainly wasn’t with me sitting on a stool in the corner of the room answering medical questions in a flat monotone. I wasn’t beating my chest or screaming or even crying. I don’t remember crying till I saw my kids.
\nAs hard as that was to go through, I cannot…simply cannot imagine what people go through who lose their loved one to a terrible, slow, painful death like cancer or COPD or Alzheimer’s. My cousin’s wife came over Friday after making arrangements for her mother’s funeral. Her mom had esophageal cancer. We sat together and I listened to her tell me about the last six months. The long nights. The conflicting medical information. The radiation and chemo. When she got to the night of her mother’s death, I was in such awe of her strength and courage. What she went through for her mom was heroic in my book. What I loved most was when her mom motioned to her, as if she needed to tell her something. When she bent down to listen, her mother kissed her on the cheek and took her last breath. My mother died alone in an ICU because I couldn’t get to her in time. She got a kiss on the cheek! I loved that for her because she will never, ever forget that loving gesture.
\n![\"Crocus\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/149cf13a2d.jpg\")
Crocus
Real death isn’t like the movies. Sometimes it’s that peaceful scene where the family gathers around and tells their loved one how important they were in their lives and how much they loved them. Sometimes there’s soft music and candlelight and kisses on cheeks. And sometimes they stop CPR after three hours and tell you they’re sorry. Is one way “better” than the other? Is there such a thing as a “good death”. I think there is, but it’s not always possible because death isn’t predictable. It isn’t a script.
\n![\"Crocus](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/1472409e31.jpg\")
Crocus in the Spring
Someone I love very much is dying. Not actively as in it’s imminent. But it’s coming. Everyone knows it’s coming. I love him and his entire family. For the last five years I have written a daily essay, much of it about grief. And when I talk with his wife, I feel woefully inadequate. I haven’t gone through that kind of death. I haven’t had to know it was coming for three years and fight the good fight and be strong and courageous and lose anyway. What do I say to her? How can I best serve her? I had no idea…so I asked. I told her how sorry I was that it was coming to this. I told her how much I love them both. I told her I knew she must be scared. And, I told her I was at a loss as to how best to help her. Then I asked her to tell me exactly what would help her the most right now. She said to pray. Pray for strength and courage for her. That I can do…in spades.
\n![\"Daffodils](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/c0439e8175.jpg\")
Daffodils in the Ditch
Grief is something that touches all of us. If it hasn’t touched you yet, it will. Mr. FixIt and I were talking about it yesterday. After losing Mr. Virgo, I’ve gone and done the one thing I SWORE I would never, ever do again. I gave my heart away to love again…with wild abandon…knowing full well what it feels like to lose. That is either absolutely crazy or the absolute evidence that God can carry you through anything. I could lose this man tomorrow. Or next week or next year or thirty years from now. Or…I could be the first to go, who knows? I’m glad we don’t know exactly when we will die. It doesn’t pay to dwell on it…but we can’t deny it either. If there is an upside…and that is truly a stretch to even call it that…it’s having the time to say goodbye, to express everything you wanted to say, to make arrangements, to learn how to do the things your partner did, and to give them the gift of your service in their transition. As Ram Dass, says…”We are all just walking each other home.” ❤️
\n“For here we do not have an enduring city, but we are looking for the city that is to come.”\nHebrews 13:14 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-03-04T02:30:19-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/03/04/endings-and-beginnings.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Positive Energy","Comfort","Peace","Wisdom","Aging","Presence"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/03/03/the-upside-of-disappointment.html", "title": "The Upside of Disappointment", "content_html": "
![\"Homemade](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/5c579fda7c.jpg\")
Homemade Egg Noodles
I was so excited Thursday! I was heading out for a weekend with the Girl Campers and even got to leave a day early. I had reservations in a cabin. I was meeting old friends and new. I was pumped!
\nI got the truck packed, with WAY too much stuff, and headed south through a driving rain. It was only a two hour drive so no big deal. I stopped at a Walmart near my destination and bought the ingredients for beef and noodles…my contribution to Saturday’s Soup Night…our tradition. I arrived at the cabin around 3:00 in the afternoon, got everything unpacked, greeted the host, and decided to take a nap. I couldn’t seem to get warm for some reason.
\nWithin an hour, I was burning up and feeling sick. I stayed the night and awoke with a rip roaring headache so I begged off and came home. I don’t think it’s a bug…just a bad migraine. But, darn it all! I was really looking forward to this weekend. On my way home, I got some strong coffee and that actually helped and after a while, I felt much better.
\nI got a phone call from my cousin’s wife as I was driving home. She and I are very close. She was calling to let me know her mother passed away and could she come by in the afternoon on her way back from the funeral home. That’s when I knew…I wasn’t supposed to be at the girl’s weekend. I was supposed to be here for my sister/friend and offer comfort and support.
\nIt is customary to offer food to the bereaved and I just happened to have all the ingredients for beef and noodles. That is, until I remembered I left the package of frozen homestyle noodles in the freezer at the cabin. So, I looked up a recipe for homemade egg noodles. I found a great recipe, AND a cute blog, at afarmishkindoflife.com/homemade-noodles. You have to let the noodles dry for two hours and I left all my baker’s racks at the farm. I found one that goes in the bottom of a huge stock pot. And, I improvised with a colander turned upside down. Now I can send a nice pot of beef and noodles home so they don’t have to cook for a while. I imagine they’ll get plenty of food from the neighbors so this will freeze well if needed.
\nAs I always say, things can change on a dime and what starts out as a disappointment can turn into a blessing if you change your focus. I’m sorry I’m missing my gal pals, but I’m happy to be where God needed me more. ❤
\n“Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”\n1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2018-03-03T02:30:36-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/03/03/the-upside-of-disappointment.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Grace","God","Wisdom","Presence","Girl Camper","Girl Campers"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/03/02/change-your-focus.html", "title": "Change Your Focus", "content_html": "![\"Woman](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/2c381e57c3.jpg\")
“Imagine if we obsessed about the things we LOVE about ourselves.”
I’d love to have all the hours back that I obsessed about the things I didn’t like about myself. My hair. My body. My nose. My “flaws”…real or imagined. Can you imagine if we never, ever looked in the mirror and hated something we saw? Oh…what I really hate is that I put my faith in someone who judged me by my appearance. I really hate that I saw my self-worth through someone else’s lens. For…far…too…long.
\nOne of the wonderful things about rapidly approaching Medicare age is the ability to see myself as I truly am. I’m a slightly overweight, active grandma with great hair and pretty feet. I was talking with Mr. FixIt this week when we went on our little trip. I was telling him about a time in my life when I really hated who I was. Then I grew to hate that I couldn’t speak up and change the situation I was in that contributed to it. He looked at me and smiled. He said, “Well, you sure are a strong, opinionated woman now. You don’t take crap off of anyone!” My heart exploded. He GETS me!
\nEvery day, I focus on my word of the year. Presence. I am not that naive young girl who went into relationships looking for a knight in shining armor. I am not that willowy young thing who could eat anything I wanted and not gain an ounce. I don’t have the stamina that I had when I was 30…40…50….heck, 60! But, I love who I am. I am more of the woman in Proverbs 31 than I ever have been.
\nPastor Justin illustrated God’s forgiveness last Sunday in a way that will forever change how I look at myself. He was sitting at a table with a bottle of water. He always keeps a small towel nearby because it’s quite hot up there under the lights and he has a tendency to get fired up. He was talking about how we are made new when we accept Christ in our hearts. He died for our sins. That means, they are taken away. The old is gone.
\nHe covered the water bottle with the towel. “This is what happens when we are forgiven.”
\nHe pulled the towel back a bit. “The enemy wants us to keep looking back. He keeps reminding us of who we were. But that’s not who we are now.”
\nHe picked up the bottle, totally wrapped in the towel and said, “When we’ve been saved, God looks at us and sees Christ…not the old, beat up, soiled version of us…but the Christ-loving version.”
\nMy eyes swelled with tears when the full realization hit me that I don’t have to carry around all that baggage…all those burdens…all that self-loathing. It is not prideful to love and appreciate yourself as a child of God.
\nI like my feet. I like my smile. I like my compassionate heart. I like the way my hair is graying with natural streaks. I used to pay a lot of money for that. I love the way every cell in my body was made new when I was saved. Appreciate yourself. Love yourself. Not in an arrogant, self-centered, narcissistic way. You are the only YOU there is in the world. The only YOU that has ever been or ever will be. God made you just this way with the very gifts the world needs that only YOU can give. Since scripture tells us to love others as we love ourselves the opposite must also be true. Love yourself as you love others. ❤
\n“We love because he first loved us.”\n1 John 4:19 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-03-02T02:30:53-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/03/02/change-your-focus.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Presence"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/03/01/morning-walkabout.html", "title": "Morning Walkabout", "content_html": "
![\"“Rhododendron](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/7965a2871a.jpg\")
“Rhododendron and the gas light”
What an absolute treat it was to wake up out at the farm yesterday morning. Grandma’s bedroom is right along the creek’s edge and with all the rain we have been having, the sound of the water riffling along was like a lullaby. I slept so well and awoke refreshed and ready to face a busy day.
\nMr. FixIt and I did a morning walkabout on the property to check things out. He moved some fallen limbs from the ditch along the road and placed them on the burn pile. The daffodils are up about 8” high already and the grass is greening up nicely. I’ll need to mow before too long to mulch up the leaves that fell over the fall and winter. The rhododendron gets huge buds on them in the fall. They winter over and won’t bloom till late May or early June. They are still beautiful as they awaken from winter with a freshened shine to their leaves. They don’t drop their leaves like so many other plants. They just droop down all winter then stand up with their arms stretched wide in the spring.
\nI am leaving today for a long camping weekend with the Girl Campers. We’ll be staying in cabins this trip. We try to get together in the late winter when the roads aren’t too bad. We work on whatever craft projects we have going. We make soups to share. These are some of the nicest women I have ever known and I look forward to these trips with great anticipation. I’ll share projects and recipes with you along the way but my writing may be a bit sparse this weekend as I take the time to kick back with my friends and relax.
\nI do have some prayer requests for some wonderful people who are touched by illness. Please pray for healing, comfort, and God’s will. He knows who the prayers are for. Thank you all for your wonderful prayer support. There are many stars in your crowns. ❤️
\n“In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.”\nRomans 8:26 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-03-01T02:30:16-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/03/01/morning-walkabout.html", "tags": ["Faith","Travel","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Camping","West Virginia","The Farm","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Wisdom","Presence","Girl Camper","Girl Campers"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/02/27/date-night.html", "title": "Date Night", "content_html": "
![\"Budding](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/7251e2f819.jpg\")
“Budding Branches”
Mr. FixIt and I live a pretty frugal life. We are careful in our spending so that we can afford small indulgences now and then. We both came from mixed backgrounds. We’ve both known what it’s like to have very little and to have much. We have a healthy appreciation of both. Because we came together later in life, money will be something we watch carefully. We have become good stewards of what God has given us.
\nThere was a time when either one of us would have gone to games and concerts without thinking of the cost. And to be honest, now that we give a great deal of consideration toward our outings, we actually enjoy and remember them more. I can’t tell you much about the vacation to Hawaii with Hubby #2, but I can tell you where we sat, where we ate, who we played, and the nature of the basketball game we attended a year ago. Of course, the company you keep makes a difference in how memorable an occasion is, don’t you agree?
\nWe drove up to Morgantown yesterday to see WVU beat Texas Tech…soundly. It was a good game. Not nearly as tight and exciting as the Baylor game last year, but it was Senior Night and the graduating seniors were honored. It was fun to see them go out on a winning note.
\nAs we walked to dinner from our hotel, we remarked at what a gorgeous, sunny afternoon it was. The trees are budding as a result of the recent warming trend which may end up being a bad thing if we get a late frost. The variety of birds is increasing and it is such a lovely thing to hear nature’s orchestra filling out.
\nWe get to take one of the grandchildren out for breakfast this morning as she is a student here. Afterward, we are going to explore around the area where my ancestors lived. We stopped at Prickett’s Fort on our way up to Morgantown yesterday. I have people in my family tree buried there. It’s a fun, overnight trip, not terribly expensive, and filled with love. ❤️
\n“She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.”\nProverbs 31:27 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-02-27T02:30:01-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/02/27/date-night.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Positive Energy","Fun","West Virginia","Growth","New Ideas","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Wisdom","Humbled","Presence","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/02/26/my-love-has-a-name.html", "title": "My Love Has a Name", "content_html": "
![\"Praise\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/1464731d59.jpg\")
“My Love Has a Name…Jesus”
I am always pumped on Mondays. My “Monday Morning Motivation” begins Sunday when Mr. FixIt and I walk into church. I’ve never gone to a church that has been so uplifting. I have never in my life looked forward to Sundays like I do now! It is such an amazing feeling to carry God with me into my week.
\nThe Praise and Worship Team sang a new song yesterday by the Christian rock band, Jesus Culture called “Love Has a Name”. Our sermon series for the month of February was entitled “Love Handles”. Yesterday, Pastors Justin and Heather sat down and talked to us about 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 and put it in the perspective of our relationships. Let’s break it down.
\n“Love is patient.” When Mr. FixIt takes an inordinate amount of time to type something out on his phone, my first instinct is to grab the phone and do it myself in about half the time. I’m not considering the fact that my fingers are half the size and I’ve spent a gazillion more hours typing on a keyboard as a writer than he has as a mechanical engineer designing tools. I have to remind myself to emulate God’s love…God’s perfect love…and be patient. It isn’t always easy, but I try.
\n“Love is kind.” Show of hands…how many of you have cast a disparaging look at your significant other when he’s done something you think is stupid? How many have done the whole eye roll thing? That, in and of itself, is a very unkind thing to do. I’ve done it. I don’t like that I have. As a matter of fact, I read an article once by a marriage counselor and he said one of the tell tale signs that a marriage would fail was if one or the other partner rolled their eyes. It’s dismissive. It isn’t always easy, but I try.
\n“It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.” I see this to mean those times when your significant other bests you in some way. Or you, him. Lording it over the other with one-upsmanship brings competition into the equation and that can be very damaging to a relationship. I remember Hubby #2 and I took an online IQ test and I came out higher than he did. He was a doctor and I always felt somewhat “less than”, for a number of reasons. I rubbed that in and it didn’t go over well. It isn’t always easy, but I try.
\n“It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” You dishonor others by being disrespectful. This is a self-seeking behavior. Love is not easily angered. Pastor Heather said she heard something a long time ago that has always stuck with her. “Take the pause.” When something strikes you wrong, stop and take a breath before you lash out and say something you will regret later. That brings us to “no record of wrongs”. How many times have we held onto those slights and honed them to a rapier edge, only to slash our partner with them later. Maybe we “forgave” them, but brought it up anyway. It isn’t always easy, but I try.
\n“Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.” Discord, cruelty, mean-spiritedness are evils that can take root in relationships, but the power of truth in real love is something you should always strive for. It isn’t always easy, but I try.
\n“It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” You should always protect your love. Always trusting doesn’t mean being gullible, but being fair minded and believe in your spouse. Always hope for the best in your spouse. And always persevere…keep going, even when the going gets tough. It isn’t always easy, but I try.
\nI have learned to love Jesus more than anyone or anything. Everyone…even those you hold the closest to your heart…will disappoint you. Jesus will never disappoint. If we hold him at the center of all equations, we have far greater chance of success in every relationship…family, work, friends, school…everywhere.
\nThis is the song they sang yesterday…”Love Has a Name”. My love has a name…Jesus. ❤
\n“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”\n1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NIV
\n\n\n", "date_published": "2018-02-26T02:30:45-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/02/26/my-love-has-a-name.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Uplifting Stories","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","God","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Presence","Monday Morning Motivation"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/02/24/ill-pray-for-you.html", "title": "I’ll Pray for You", "content_html": "
![\"I’ll](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/43528a82fb.jpg\")
“I’ll Pray for You”
How many times do we say that? Something happens to someone and we automatically say, “I’ll pray for you!” We hear of a tragedy and we say, “I’ll pray for you!” How many times do we say that…and forget to pray? Or, how about when you’re scrolling through Facebook and someone asks for prayers. We might type “Prayers!” Or “Done!” Or my personal favorite…”???” A furtive “God, please give this woman what she’s asking for.” These are good things, don’t get me wrong. But we can do so much better.
\nI was working one afternoon after Mr. Virgo died and I noticed one of my coworkers was tearful. She was trying to hide it at her desk and I didn’t want to intrude. I got halfway down the hall when the Holy Spirit whispered…
\n“Go to her…now.”
\n“Awwww….c’mon. I’ve got a list of phone calls that would choke a horse! I haven’t even started the pharmacy refills yet. And I need to fax those reports. I’m really busy. Someone will help her. I’ll pray for her tonight when I get home.”
\n“Go to her…NOW!”
\n“Oooooooh…you mean…NOW! Sure!”
\nI turned on my heel and went back to my coworker’s desk. I didn’t say anything. She didn’t look at me, but she knew I was there. Her shoulders slumped and shook with silent sobs. I placed my hand on her shoulder and she immediately leaned into me and cried harder.
\nI whispered. “I don’t know what you’re going through right now…and I don’t need to know. But if you want, I would love to pray with you right now. Would that be ok?”
\nShe whispered back, “Yes! Yes, please!”
\nI closed the door to her office, knelt beside her and took her hand. And prayed. I prayed for God’s love to wrap around my friend and comfort her. I prayed for strength and courage in whatever she was facing. I prayed God would use whatever trial she was walking through to bring her closer to him so she would know there was someone who always loved her, always had her back.
\nIt didn’t take long…just a couple minutes. My friend felt so much better afterwards and my work was still there, waiting for me. I felt better, too. Because, I actually did what I said I would do. By praying with my friend, I did more than placate her to make her feel better. I called on the living God…the Highest Power…to come into the situation and work on it.
\nI once heard of a man in our church that was going through a rough patch. His friend was talking to him on the phone. They were both on the highway but several miles apart. The man asked his friend with the troubles to pull off at the next wide spot. Soon, he caught up and there, along I-70…the man placed his hand on his friend’s shoulder, lifted his other hand to the sky, and prayed. Right there for all to see.
\nI don’t think you should ever miss the opportunity to pray with somebody. Of course, pray FOR them anytime. But pray WITH them whenever you can. It’s good for everyone. ❤
\n“For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.””\nMatthew 18:20 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-02-24T02:30:31-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/02/24/ill-pray-for-you.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Humbled","Presence"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/02/21/a-taste-of-spring.html", "title": "A Taste of Spring", "content_html": "
![\"Burger](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/5f6cd6bc8f.jpg\")
“Burger al Fresco”
One of the upsides of Facebook memories is documented progress. One of my readers shared a post yesterday that I wrote a year ago. I was declaring how gorgeous spring is in West Virginia. I observed the earth coming back to life, the shoots of spring bulbs exploding from the moist soil, the greening up of the world. I spoke of all the new babies being born in the fields surrounding the farm. And I talked about budding romances and how I was ready to try again. And here I am…a year later and in a relationship with a wonderful man. He is a constant reminder of how good God is to me.
\nWe awoke yesterday to the most gorgeous of early spring days. I had a dream. I don’t remember my dreams like I used to before Mr. Virgo died. And I seldom dream of him. I dreamt I was supposed to send Mr. Virgo a text every day with a scripture in it. Suddenly, he stopped responding to my texts. I looked everywhere for him. I asked everyone if they had seen him and they just stared blankly back at me. Six months went by and then a year, then three. No word. Then, out of the blue, someone told me he had “moved on”. I felt confused. Did he move on as in, he left me for someone else? When I was fully awake, I realized what “moved on” really meant. I had an instant wave of the creepy crawlies on the backs of my arms, then it went away and I was fine. Grief visits fleetingly sometimes…like a sparrow flitting in the brush just out of view.
\nThe temperature got up over 80 degrees. We had coffee by the pool and then headed to the farm. We cleaned inside and out. Mr. FixIt filled the bird feeders. I changed the spotlight on the three story barn. We stopped at the neighborhood grocer and bought a pound of fresh ground hamburger and sliced longhorn cheese. When we got home, we took the grill from the garage and put it on the deck by the pool and grilled burgers outside. It was sheer heaven to sit out in shorts and enjoy the evening.
\nSome days get burned in your memory to keep for all time. That was yesterday. There were a lot of trees down from the saturated soil and the brisk winds earlier in the day. Baby calves lay in the muddy fields by their mamas. A cardinal sang in the forsythia bush by the side gate. Mr. FixIt took the drone he got for Christmas and went outside to “play” after supper. I heard a tree fall in the woods beyond the field. A rooster crowed in the distance. Neighbors waved as they passed by. My heart felt full and ached with the beauty of it all. Jesus promised he would make all things new one day. Spring is his way of giving us a taste of things to come.
\nI am all too aware of how fragile this life is. It could be gone tomorrow. So I practice my word of the year and stay present. And I thank God for every moment. ❤️
\n“He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.””\nRevelation 21:5 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-02-21T02:30:19-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/02/21/a-taste-of-spring.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Hope","Positive Energy","West Virginia","The Farm","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/02/20/an-open-letter-to-the.html", "title": "An Open Letter to the Shooter", "content_html": "
![\"iPad](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/f39fce6a0d.jpg\")
“Writing in TOW-Wanda”
While the world recoils in horror at the havoc you have wrought, I want you to know something. I have tears for the terribly tragic loss of these beautiful people you have cut down who will never have the opportunity to reach their potential. But, believe it or not, I have tears for you, too. While those parents prepare to lay their babies to rest, I wonder if there’s anyone there for you. Because I have a feeling there hasn’t been…probably for a very, very long time.
\nI don’t know you. We are just beginning to get some details about who you are. I know you were adopted. I know your adopted father died several years ago and your adopted mother died in November. Your teachers tried to help from as far back as sixth grade. I heard the impassioned speech one of your former classmates made. She said they always knew there was something wrong.
\nI don’t know your whole story. I know you were adopted as an infant. But, I’d be willing to bet any amount of money that you were quiet and shy as a young child. Awkward. You didn’t fit in. You were bullied. You were never picked to be on the team. You were labeled as that weird kid. You didn’t get invited to birthday parties and sleepovers. You were lonely, sad, depressed and isolated, I can just about guarantee that. And you were angry. You lashed out with little self control.
\nDid you ever have someone to hold you and rock you and tell you how much you were loved? Did you have someone to take you to church and teach you about how much Jesus loves you? You had mental health issues and teachers tried and tried tried to help. But you somehow fell through the cracks.
\nI know this isn’t going to be the most popular post right now because moms and dads are putting their children in the ground as we speak. People are angry. People are crying out for change and somehow there needs to be change. If you never had access to those guns while you were in such pain, I can pretty much guarantee there would be seventeen families enjoying each other’s company tonight instead of trying to figure out how to keep on living. I don’t know how we could have prevented this tragedy but we as a nation need to figure it out. Now…before it happens again. Because…it WILL happen again.
\nWhile I cry for those who are in pain tonight, I shed tears for you as well. I’m so sorry you felt this was your only way to be heard. I’m sorry you didn’t get the help you needed. I’m sorry you didn’t know how to find your way back from the abyss. I’m sorry you lost hope. I know you are broken, and you will never walk free in the sunshine again. You won’t get married and have babies and vacations and grow old in a job you love and look forward to retirement. This is the price you will pay for the choices you made. There’s nothing that can be done about that. But I want you to know something….and this I know beyond a shadow of a doubt.
\nGod loves you.
\nGod STILL loves you. And so do I. You wanna know why? Because the God I know loves ALL of his children…equally. He loves you exactly the same way as he loves me and your mom and the policemen who captured you and your attorney and the judge and all the moms and dads and students of that school in Florida. Who can you think of that’s really, really good? The Pope? Mother Teresa? Billy Graham? Joel Osteen? Our Father in heaven doesn’t love you one bit less than he loves them. God hates the sin…but he loves the sinner.
\nThat doesn’t mean you won’t be judged. You will…by the court of man and the court of God. But you can be forgiven. If you haven’t already, you can ask Jesus into your life and I promise you will never be alone again. You will always have someone who loves you. So, while I pray for those families your actions shattered, I will also be praying for you. I will pray that you seek shelter with God. I will pray that you get the help you need. I pray that you will talk to God every hour, every day, for the rest of your life.
\nA spirit of forgiveness is a noble thing. I hope those to whom you transgressed will someday find it in their hearts to forgive you. For their own benefit as much as anything. It is the hardest thing to wrap our minds around when some sins seem so much worse than others. God’s heart is broken over this, yet he still loves you. Always has, always will. ❤
\n“You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God’s wrath through him! For if, while we were God’s enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life! Not only is this so, but we also boast in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”\nRomans 5:6-11 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2018-02-20T02:30:16-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/02/20/an-open-letter-to-the.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Hope","Grace","Love","God","Wisdom","Forgiveness"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/02/19/love-is-an-action-word.html", "title": "Love is an Action Word", "content_html": "![\"Coffee](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/7fd36eb850.jpg\")
\nI’m doing something different today. Usually I write my essay then I go read and find a bible verse that best suits my message of the day. It’s easier that way for me because I look for verses about a certain theme, read and study them, then choose the one that speaks to me. To take a verse and pontificate on it seems a bit foreign after writing for nearly five years the other way. But today…I want to talk to you about Romans 12:6-8 specifically.
\nAs we always do, Mr. FixIt and I stood and held hands as we prayed and sang with the praise team in church yesterday. And, as I always do on the third song, I closed my eyes and prayed. I thanked God for all he has blessed us with. I thanked him for bringing me this fine man to stand with me in church to praise with me. I recited the Prayer of Jabez and asked that he bless me indeed, that he expand my territory, walk with his hand over me, and keep evil far from me that I may not feel pain. Then I asked…”If you have a specific message for me today, please deliver it to me through Pastor Justin.” Amen
\nWe’ve been doing a series entitled “Love Handles”. Not the muffin tops above our jeans from eating too many Oreos, but the action word…LOVE. The love we take out into the world. As Christians, we are called to be different. We aren’t supposed to go out and blend into the world. We should be shining the light of the Holy Spirit out into the world so brightly that people take notice when we walk into a room. Pastor Justin’s first Bible reading yesterday was Romans 12:6-8. It tells us that God, in his infinite grace, has given us all gifts for doing certain things very well…be it prophesy, service, teaching, encouraging, giving, leadership, or kindness. If you have a talent that comes to you easily and you do it very well, that is your gift. That is what you are here to share.
\nTears came to my eyes when I listened to the verse being read. “If God has given you the ability to prophesy, speak out with as much faith as God has given you.” Prophesy has several meanings but the one I believe was being directed to me was “preach”. As I have grown in my faith and through this blog, I was led by the Holy Spirit to include scripture in my writing. If you were here when that started, you may remember the conversation I had with God in church when I got that message loud and clear and I argued vehemently against it. I did NOT want to “be that person.” I didn’t want to be “preachy” and turn people off.
\nThere have been instances when I see that people have “unliked” this page when I get too “churchy”. But I have to say, the most interaction this page receives is when my post is truly aligned with my heart, and thus…my faith. When I share my truth, my stories, through the lens of faith…they seem to reach through the miles and touch hearts. I’ve been feeling God nudging me to continue in that direction. That doesn’t mean every post here is going to be a sermon, because it isn’t. What it means is, I’m going to be a little less worried about what people think when I talk about God. It’s really easy to talk about God in a room full of believers. It is not nearly so easy to prophesy to those who don’t believe the same way I do. God has given me a gift of words. It is my duty to put them to the best use I can. I hope you will stick around and see where this goes because I think it’s going to get interesting. ❤
\n“So we are to use our different gifts in accordance with the grace that God has given us. If our gift is to speak God’s message, we should do it according to the faith that we have; if it is to serve, we should serve; if it is to teach, we should teach; if it is to encourage others, we should do so. Whoever shares with others should do it generously; whoever has authority should work hard; whoever shows kindness to others should do it cheerfully.”\nRomans 12:6-8 GNB
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-02-19T02:30:31-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/02/19/love-is-an-action-word.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Prayer","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Presence","Monday Morning Motivation"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/02/18/the-mountain.html", "title": "The Mountain", "content_html": "
![\"Sunrise](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/5157c752d5.jpg\")
“My Hope is in You Alone” - MercyMe
I was writing last night and listening to a channel on Amazon Music called “Relaxing Christian Music”. MercyMe came on and sang “Even If You Don’t”. It’s about those times when your faith is challenged by the hardships you face in life. It made me think of the losses so many are facing. There are seventeen mothers and fathers preparing to lay their children to rest this week. It is easy to ask questions like, “Where was God during all this?” “How can God let bad things happen to innocent people…especially children?”
\nLife can be really difficult. It can be filled with challenges and unfulfilled dreams. Disappointments. Hurts. Horrors. And…it can be filled with absolutely unmovable mountains.
\nIt’s easier to maintain our faith when the skies are sunny and life is good. When we are knee deep in blessings and goodness rains down on us like a spring shower, we’re good. But…what happens when the darkness comes? How do we maintain our faith when God seems to have abandoned us and is far, far away?
\nGod is capable of all things. I know he can do anything. I’ve seen him do it. When I was a little girl and I sat at my grandma’s knee, I asked her how she knew Jesus was who he said he was. How did she know he really walked on water? She smiled knowingly and patted my hand. “You just have to have faith, pet.” she said in her wise grandma way. It took me most of my life to absorb that…and to believe it.
\nFaith.
\nWhat is faith? The Bible tells us faith is the “substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” The substance of my hope is a loving God who can move mountains. The evidence of things not seen is when he refuses and I still believe in him.
\nSometimes God refuses to move the mountain that is in your way because that mountain is in HIS plan…not yours. My biggest mountain was losing Mr. Virgo. God knew that could shake my faith. So he let me see something. He let me see the essence of my husband’s spirit as it left his body. I was forever changed. Not only by the loss itself, but by the certainty that we go someplace else when we die, we are not alone and there is a power far greater than me at work in the world. That power…to me…is God. I will not understand the whys until I get where I am going…but I know the WHO.
\nThis has been a difficult year so far. There has been so much loss in the world. So many unmovable mountains. When I face these times, I find leaning into God and trusting him is the only way to get through it.
\nHe CAN move mountains. And…sometimes he chooses not to. It is the pure essence of faith when you can still believe in God when you have trouble seeing the evidence of his existence.
\nMy HOPE is in him…even when he doesn’t answer.
\nMercyMe - Even If You Don’t\nhttps://youtu.be/B6fA35Ved-Y
\n“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”\nHebrews 11:1 KJV
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-02-18T02:30:26-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/02/18/the-mountain.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Presence"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/02/16/staying-present.html", "title": "Staying Present", "content_html": "
![\"Feather](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/10f61fb2bb.jpg\")
”My burdens are light as a feather because God carries them for me.”
I love Uma Girish. Uma is a Grief Guide…one who helps others walk their path with valuable tools she gives them along the way. Uma wrote a post about mindfulness that I wanted to share with you. We talk about mindfulness here a lot. My word of the year is “presence”. I practice mindfulness frequently. I sure wish I could say I practice it all the time, but my monkey brain kicks in and takes me on wild tangents. I get lost in the weeds. Then, Spirit sends me something…a message, a person, a hint. Yesterday…I was sent back to Uma.
\nI have to admit…I’m struggling a little bit right now. I’ve been trying to put my finger on it and it’s a slippery little sucker. Is it this sinus infection I’m battling? Is it Seasonal Affective Disorder? Is it missing my family in Colorado? Is it the state of our world, politically…morally…naturally? Is it the horrific tragedies that seem to be around every corner these days? The answer is yes…all of the above.
\nAnd…it is grief.
\nGrief. That ever-present underground river that flows just under my heart. I’m counting down now to the five year anniversary of Mr. Virgo’s death. Five years. We were married just three weeks shy of six. We knew each other for seven and a half. I’m getting to the point where I’ve been without him as long as I had him. And it still hurts. I have this wonderful new man in my life who I’m over the moon in love with. And it still hurts. I’ve been incredibly blessed with this blog and the opportunities it has given me. And it still hurts. I have everything I need and then some. And. It. Still. Hurts.
\nYesterday morning I was flailing. I laid in bed with my cell phone, playing a game of solitaire. My stomach churned from the antibiotics I started the night before. My ears still had fluid in them and it sounded like someone wadding up a potato chip bag every time I swallowed. It’s been raining and dreary for several days. All I wanted to do was pull the covers over my head and stay there the rest of my life. That is where I put my mindfulness. Up on a shelf…out of reach.
\nI forced myself to get up…get dressed…pull the covers up on the bed. I made myself eat toast and tea. Gratefully, Mr. FixIt turned off the television so I didn’t have to see any more of the horrible news out of Florida. I took my tea to the sofa just as the sun peeked out of the clouds for the first time this week. I snuggled down into my “nest” and opened my iPad to check my email. And there was Uma’s newsletter. Her topic of the day? Mindfulness. I laughed. Sometimes God gently walks up beside me and says…really loud…LISTEN!
\nI did as Uma suggested…as I’ve done hundreds of times…as I’ve shared with you. I sat still. I closed my eyes. I stopped multitasking and just listened. I felt the sofa under me, cradling my body. I felt the lap desk on my thighs. I paid attention to my breath and my pain. I listened to my heart breaking again. It’s nothing like it was in the beginning. It has morphed and changed, waxed and waned. It’s just a current of energy that mixes with all the other currents in my world. Sometimes the rheostat gets cranked up a little higher, that’s all. Holidays. Birthdays. Angelversaries. Bluebirds. Cigars. I never know what will set it off or when. But I can become mindful…present…still. I can center myself and deal with the one thing and not the everything at once thing.
\nThank you, Uma…for reminding us to stop and listen and center ourselves before we head down the rabbit hole. As the sun sent last night and I heard the spring peepers, I felt the axis shift and I’m much, much better. ❤
\n“Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.”\nColossians 3:2 ESV
\n\n\n", "date_published": "2018-02-16T02:30:13-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/02/16/staying-present.html", "tags": ["Faith","Grief","Grace","God","Wisdom","Presence"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/02/14/my-funny-valentine.html", "title": "My Funny Valentine", "content_html": "
![\"Medicare](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/01625c3882.jpg\")
“My Funny Valentine”
You know this day will come. Well…you certainly hope it does. Mr. Virgo didn’t get this far. He died at sixty-two. Mr. FixIt brought my mail home from town yesterday. I was browsing through it when I noticed an envelope from the Department of Health and Human Services. I thought it was just an advertisement but when I opened it…it was my Medicare Card.
\nWow.
\nI had a rush of feelings. I felt…o-l-d. For about two minutes. What else? Sad…for a minute. I didn’t think sixty-five years would go by so fast. Humbled? Check. Grown up? Yeah, ok. Grateful? Definitely. Relieved? Oh, yes! My insurance costs will go down greatly. It took a few minutes till I worked my way through to the money, but once I got there, I was fine.
\nWhat a privilege it is to get to this point in my life. I’m alive and healthy. I know…Mr. Virgo is gone. And the wife of one of my dear classmates has been seriously ill and in the hospital for the last six weeks. Mr. FixIt’s cousin had a massive stroke on Sunday. I have every blessing I could ask for. I have no business feeling bummed because I’m going to be sixty-five this summer.
\nSo, I’ve reached a major landmark in my life…a benchmark, as it were. I’m happy. I’m proud. I’m excited to see what comes next!
\nWhat an amazing Valentine, eh?!?! It can’t beat the pink roses, chocolates, and sweet card Mr. FixIt gave me…but it’s a close second! ❤
\n“Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.”\nIsaiah 46:4 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2018-02-14T02:30:46-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/02/14/my-funny-valentine.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Wisdom","Humbled","Aging","Presence"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/02/13/craving-the-sun.html", "title": "Craving the Sun", "content_html": "![\"Woman](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/d0f5f7965c.jpg\")
“Late Winter Sun”
We are having a warming trend here in West Virginia. The monsoonal rains are beginning and we will have long stretches of grey, rainy days in the next few weeks. Still, the night time temperatures drop and we awoke to a skiff of snow and icy roads yesterday. After totaling my truck this time last year, I am really skittish about driving on dicey roads so I’ve been hanging out at Mr. FixIt’s place while he goes to town for physical therapy on his hand.
\nYesterday was really sunny but with a high of only 41 degrees. The back door faces west and the sun was streaming in so I pulled my recliner over and soaked up some rays. OMGosh! It felt divine. An hour sitting in the warm sunshine did wonders to boost my mood and got me thinking about getting outside camping, hiking, fishing. This is the week of the Sisters on the Fly Great Winter Camp In. We are supposed to capture pictures of ourselves doing anything camping related. I’m going to get out in the camper this week…even if it’s just for a few hours to write. I really miss TOW-Wanda by this time of the year.
\nIt’s almost time to start working on fixing up my 1967 Franklin Camper. I would love to have it ready this year to camp in. As I sit here writing this, a pair of cardinals are at the feeder in the back yard. I’m hearing more birds in the mornings. The pile of firewood is stacked by the fire ring ready for coming evening gatherings. The pool is still iced over. But the days are getting longer and with warmer weather and rain comes the promise of spring. I can hardly wait! ❤️
\n“Let us acknowledge the Lord; let us press on to acknowledge him. As surely as the sun rises, he will appear; he will come to us like the winter rains, like the spring rains that water the earth.”\nHosea 6:3 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-02-13T02:30:56-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/02/13/craving-the-sun.html", "tags": ["Hope","Sisters on the Fly","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","West Virginia","Gratitude","Wisdom","Presence","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/02/12/word-power.html", "title": "Word Power", "content_html": "
![\"Word](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/7722e4af38.jpg\")
Word Power
When I was a teenager, my mother always told me my mouth would get me in trouble. I’ve spent a lifetime speaking when I should have remained silent. I say the wrong things at the wrong times. I let my anger lead my speech far, far too often. I am a work in progress. I know what I am supposed to do. We all do, right? But even God knew we could never tame our tongues…not completely.
\nSpeech has such power. We can build up. We can tear down. Pastor Justin spoke of this power in church yesterday in a sermon entitled “Speech Therapy”. A clever use of the term. We need speech therapy. Not to pronounce the words, but to help us choose wisely. Our pastor had cutouts to demonstrate those we meet on a daily basis. The one who talks “crap” all the time. The one who whines and cries about everything. The vampire who sucks the life out of you. The angry yelper who shouts and charges about like a bull in a china shop. He also used some popular iconic figures like Dr. Phil, Joel Osteen, and Donald Trump to illustrate the power of words.
\nDr. Phil is a good guy, offers sound advice, but not the one to look to for divine direction. Joel Osteen…the one who builds you up, always smiling, always positive. We can use more people in the world like Dr. Phil and Joel Osteen…they build up.
\nWhen he held up President Trump, I was a little worried where that might go. I’ve listened to politics being preached from the pulpit and I don’t like it. I loved the direction Pastor Justin took it, though. Love him. Hate him. There’s both of you out there. That’s not what this is about. What this is about is the power of the word. And using words to divide and cause conflict is counterproductive. We cannot control another person, but we can pray for them. I pray for our President to use discretion when he chooses words. I pray he decides to leave Twitter alone. I pray for his wisdom and discernment and good judgement. I have my opinions and beliefs about him but they are personal. I pray God blesses his tongue.
\nPraying for wisdom in our leaders and peace for our world is one thing I can do every day. Because my words have power. And if I speak with angry rhetoric, I am giving the enemy a foothold in my world. The enemy only has the power I give him. Using my words to express my desires to my legislators is another thing I can do. So, I keep trying my best. I try to watch my words and choose them carefully. I try not to cuss like a sailor but fail more than I like. Like I said, I’m a work in progress. I’m human. ❤️
\n“but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring?”\nJames 3:8-11 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2018-02-12T02:30:29-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/02/12/word-power.html", "tags": ["Prayer","Positive Energy","Growth","Grace","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/02/09/colorado-memories.html", "title": "Colorado Memories", "content_html": "![\"House](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/6d3b7b3709.jpg\")
“House in the Colorado Snow”
I lived in Colorado for two-thirds of my adult life. I have always considered West Virginia to be “home”, but this sweet little house was a pretty close second. I bought it when my second marriage ended in divorce. It was the first home I ever owned on my own.
\nBeing a home owner is such a mixed bag. There’s the tax deduction for the mortgage interest. That’s a plus. There’s the mortgage itself…\nunless you are greatly blessed to not have one. That’s not so great if it strains your budget. There’s the comfort and security of a roof over your head. That’s a plus. There’s the maintenance and repairs that, in my case, were becoming quite costly. That’s difficult to plan for. There’s that wonderful covered front porch and meticulously manicured lawn, trees, shrubs, and flowers. That was truly my favorite part of living in this house. But the water bill alone could be $400 in the peak of summer irrigation, not to mention the high heating costs in the winter. Throw in mowing and shoveling snow all by my self along with memories of Mr. Virgo around every corner and I was done. Totally overwhelmed by the enormity of it all.
\nLooking back, I often wonder if I would have done anything differently if I were facing these decisions with today’s brain as opposed to grief brain. I came very close to backing out of the sales contract and renting the house out till I could be more certain this was what I really wanted to do. When I mentioned it to my real estate agent, she was horrified and exclaimed, “Oh no….you don’t want to do THAT!” In my confused state, I acquiesced and continued down the path of selling.
\nSales on my side of the Rockies had gone soft, just as the prices in the Denver Metro area had skyrocketed…leaving me priced out of the real estate market entirely. I had to change course. At the same time, my aunt needed help on the farm in West Virginia, so my fate was sealed. I bought the bigger camper and move here.
\nEverything happened just as it was supposed to. If I would have stayed in my house, I would not have run into Mr. FixIt. And I wouldn’t trade him for anything. I know I did the right thing. I still look at this house with mixed feelings though. I suppose I always will. It was where I shared my life with Mr. Virgo. He is gone…and so is the house that held us.
\nNew life, new love, new beginnings. This is a beautiful life I’ve built without all the encumbrances a house with a mortgage entails. And…there are two to carry the load now. Thank you, God! ❤
\n“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.”\nEcclesiastes 4:9-10 NIV11
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-02-09T02:30:55-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/02/09/colorado-memories.html", "tags": ["Faith","Colorado","Family","Overcoming Obstacles","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Wisdom","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/02/08/when-things-get-scary.html", "title": "When Things Get Scary", "content_html": "
![\"Stock](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/43214984e4.jpg\")
“Stock Market”
Disclaimer: I do not give financial advice. This essay only expresses my feelings.
\nPersonal wealth is a matter of comparison. If you compare my financial picture to a goat herder in the Sahara Desert, I am a multimillionaire. If you compare me to a member of the Fortune 500, I am poor as a church mouse. It’s all relative. But what I do have, I want to protect and watch over carefully.
\nI have spent my whole life deferring all this nasty talk of money to the man in my life. Not because I am incapable of understanding the intricacies of a budget, but because any marital discord I have ever experienced in my life has had something to do with money. Usually with him making it and me spending too much of it. My parents fought over money constantly. Frankly, money…or the lack thereof…scared the heck out of me. So, I avoided talking about it.
\nThen, Mr. Virgo up and died on me and left me to learn a lifetime of money management skills I simply did not possess. The first thing I did the week after the funeral was to switch to a financial advisor who specializes in women in transition…ie widows or divorcees. Danielle Howard was recommended to me by a fellow widow friend who was kind enough to help me set up and meet with her for the first time.
\nDanielle offers two lanes in her financial planning…secular and Christian. I was intrigued. The Christian approach teaches you to be a good steward of what God has provided for you. That’s the route I went with. I met with Danielle frequently at first because there was so much to learn. I wasn’t confident in my decision making skills at all. Danielle was patient, understanding, and nonjudgmental when I made SO many mistakes in the first two or three years after Mr. Virgo died.
\nI was told, “Watch your money.” “Don’t make any big financial decisions in the first year.” “Resist the urge to be overly generous.” But did I listen? Not very well. I tried to fill that hole in my heart with travel and shopping and generosity. Then I woke up and realized, I had to be MUCH more careful or I was going to run out of money.
\nThe Stock Market is probably the singularly scariest entity in my life. I am convinced it is the Devil’s spawn. This last year has been wonderful because I could breathe and not worry about losing what little bit of money I have invested. It’s been a banner year for stocks. Then…the “Big Bang” hit late last week and early this week. When the market fell 1500 points on Monday, I panicked. I called Danielle and left a voice mail telling her I was totally freaking out and could she kindly call me back as soon as possible.
\nThen I fixed a cup of tea. I mean, what else could I do, right? Tea…and wait. Visions of selling pencils from a cup on the street corner started to float in front of me and my heart raced. Crazy…I know. But that’s what money does to me. Then I remembered all those meetings with Danielle at the Bluebird Cafe where we sat over coffee and she taught me about money.
\n“What would Danielle do?” I thought to myself.
\nI could almost hear her voice. “Knowledge is power.”
\nI went to the internet and started reading some of the reputable financial news sites to get their take on the biggest drop ever. I soothed myself with articles about market corrections and stabilization. How these things are expected and actually good for the market in the long run. The takeaway I got was…breathe. Don’t pull out. Just hold steady and ride the waves.
\nI’m pretty good at riding waves.
\nBy the time Danielle called, I was feeling much more in control. I told her about going online and educating myself as to what was going on and what it meant. And I felt so empowered when she said, “Way to go! That’s really great that you took a proactive stance and learned all you could so you could make informed decisions.” I know it sounds so silly, but that was HUGE for me. I felt so…grown up and more in control.
\nThis last year has been really interesting for me. Since downsizing and living a minimalistic lifestyle, I have found my spending to be under much better control. I’ve become more frugal, careful. I don’t NEED anything, really. If I accumulate, I have to go through downsizing. I really don’t ever want to do that again.
\nWidowhood and divorce can often leave us in dire straights. Knowledge really IS power so learn all you can about money and budgeting. And remember, dealing with corrections in the Stock Market is exactly like skiing in deep powder. You have to kick back and rest on the tails of your skis. If you lean too far forward, you’ll take a tumble.
\nOh…and pray. Pray a LOT! ❤
\n“Why should fools have money in hand to buy wisdom, when they are not able to understand it?”\nProverbs 17:16 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-02-08T02:30:37-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/02/08/when-things-get-scary.html", "tags": ["Faith","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Growth","New Ideas","Gratitude","Wisdom","Humbled","Presence"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/02/07/i-am-enough.html", "title": "I Am Enough", "content_html": "
![\"Woman](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/aacfccbe1f.jpg\")
“I Am Enough”
A friend of mine posts these really great inspirational messages on her Facebook page. She comes up with original questions, collections of photos surrounding a theme, and generally spreads love and light throughout the world…with an occasional “f-bomb” thrown in for emphasis. Her name is Barbara. I think she should write a book or have a syndicated newsletter or something because I never see her stuff without feeling uplifted and in awe. I love her.
\nYesterday she posted the following question:
\nWHO ARE YOU?\nAnswer without:\nName, Job, Things you Did, Friends
\nAs I always do with her thought provoking posts…I sat and thought. I made a cup of tea. I stared out the window. I listened to a recording of ocean waves. And…I sat and thought some more. I could answer many things. Christian. Gypsy. Dreamer. Giver. Lover. Friend. But those things only answer a part of the question with those parameters. I decided on this…
\nI Am Enough.
\nWhen this picture was taken, I was visiting my dear friend, Patti from Buffalo Baking Company in California. I had just completed a few of my big “firsts”. My first foray into the world of dating. HUGE mistake on the dating end. BIG help on the “having a shoulder to cry on” end. It didn’t turn out very well for either of us, unfortunately. Too much…WAY too soon. I had survived our anniversary, our birthdays, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas. And I headed to the west coast to stay with a woman I had never met in person…I only knew her through this blog. But I knew her heart and she is good and she loved on me for a week.
\nI had it in my head that once the clock struck midnight and 2013 turned into 2014, I could say…”He died LAST YEAR”. Somehow I thought that would sweep up the wreckage of my life from the floor where it fell eight months earlier. It would be the glue to piece my heart back together. On this day…New Year’s Day 2014…we drove to Half Moon Bay play tourist. We walked the beach, browsed the shops, ate fabulous seafood, and enjoyed each other’s company.
\nWhen we got to the beach, I asked if I could have a moment alone. I walked to the water’s edge and talked to Mr. Virgo. I told him how much I loved him. I let a little piece of him go free. I placed a few strands of his hair into the foam around my freezing bare feet. And I cried. As I was walking back to Patti and her husband, I saw she had her camera poised and I threw up my hands as if to say, “Ta Da!!! That’s done!!!”
\nOh…I was SO naive.
\nI only THOUGHT I was done. I thought the New Year would bring a new me…sans tears, anxiety, sleepless nights throwing up, fits of rage and depression, and deep melancholia. It was far from it. It only opened my eyes to the stark reality that this really WAS real. He really WAS gone. And now, I got the opportunity to feel it all without that protective gauze of grief sheltering my weary heart and mind from the full blow. Now I was raw, open, searing with the painful presence of daily life…without him. Without my heart. Without my mind. At least as I had known it.
\nThat second year was exactly like holding a sword into the white hot heat of a forge. It tempered me. It made me stronger so that when I was beaten, I held my edge. I became sharp and strong. I was honed into a new version of me.
\nWhen you look at the edge of a well-honed sword, you do not see a sharp, straight line. You see little bits and fragments and fingers of metal that have been forced to line up in the same direction. But there are chips and divots and feathers of steel lining up like soldiers marching in formation. Yet, zoom back out and you can cut a watermelon in midair with one easy stroke.
\nWhen you hone a sword, there is a stopping point. There is a place where you say…that is enough. If you keep going, the blade doesn’t get any sharper. It just wears away. This is where I am on this journey now. If I keep grinding away at this, I just get worn till I’m useless. There was that tipping point somewhere along the line where I said to myself…I Am Enough. This is good…this life I have built. I have surrounded myself with love and light. God, in his infinite Mercy, has given me more hearts to love and more time to love them. If my edge should dull…and it will…I will put my feet to the flame again and get strong and sharp. Over and over and over…ad infinitum. It is what we do. It is the best we can do. It is ALL we can do. Do the work. Walk through the flames. Become stronger. And proclaim to the world…
\nI. Am. Enough. And, my darling friend…you are, too!
\n❤️
\n“being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”\nPhilippians 1:6 NIV11
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-02-07T02:30:52-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/02/07/i-am-enough.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","God","Wisdom","Presence"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/02/04/skeletons-in-the-closet.html", "title": "Skeletons in the Closet", "content_html": "
![\"A](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/9d498ad0a8.jpg\")
\nExploring genealogy can lead to some real surprises. Family secrets like the baby “born” to the woman in her sixties with a 16 year old daughter. To save face, the grandparents registered the birth as their own instead of their unwed daughter, even though the daughter continued to raise that little girl plus two more. Or how about the man who stole a pig, was exonerated, then got in a fight with the sheriff over something completely different and killed him in a barroom brawl. There’s suicides, like my great great uncle who had horrible lifelong pain from arthritis or one of Mr. FixIt’s distant relatives who took arsenic. You never know what you might find when you delve into the past.
\nWhen I was a little girl, I had a special aunt. She lifted me up and made me feel good about myself. I remember her stooping down to tell me how beautiful I looked in periwinkle blue. It made my heart sing and I absolutely adored her. I grew up emulating her every move, style, thought. She was married to my dad’s brother and she did NOT like that side of the family. Unfortunately, she instilled that in me and I never really had much of a relationship with them. But I was one of her “special ones”. We talked for hours…HOURS. I basked in her attention.
\nThen, somewhere along the line…there was a rift. I wasn’t allowed to come see her anymore. I had done something my uncle didn’t approve of and that was that. It was easier to let me go than to deal with his anger. I didn’t talk with her for a long time. Then Mr. Virgo died. I just had to talk to her…just one more time. I called and left a message. And told her I would try her only once more the following afternoon. When I called back, she picked up on the first ring. It was like old times. I collapsed into my beloved aunt’s love and she comforted me in my loss. She listened to me cry. We talked for two hours and when it came time to ring off, I sensed this was the last time I would ever talk with her. I wanted to make it count.
\nI told her to listen to me. I told her I knew it wasn’t her turning me away because she didn’t love me. I knew the uncomfortable situation she was in. It was a different time. Women were more dependent…for a number of reasons. She couldn’t walk away. I understood that. I told her I loved her very much, I knew I was still one of her “special ones”, and I didn’t blame her. She cried. She thanked me for understanding. I told her goodbye. That was five years ago.
\nI’m telling you…I was a late bloomer. I didn’t learn the lessons of your 20’s till I was in my 60’s. When an impressionable young girl is under the spell of a powerful mother figure, real personal growth isn’t possible until that influence is removed. In rapid succession, I lost my grandma, I lost a marriage in which I had always deferred to my husband, one of my best friends moved away, I lost my mom, my aunt, and Mr. Virgo…all in a period of a few short years. I was set adrift. I didn’t know how to be…me. It was bad enough that I lost my sweet husband and was grieving and had to learn how to be without him. But those people who should have been there to help me learn how to be a widow…weren’t. As a late bloomer, I had a crash course in Adulting 101. It was incredibly rough.
\nThen something wonderful happened. OK, it was awful…I lost my dad. I was never close to him, but it was loss just the same. And right there in the basement of the church when we gathered to eat after the funeral, the miracle happened. Those family members on my dad’s side that I had shunned out of deference to my aunt, opened their arms and drew me in. They loved on me. They gave me their phone numbers. They planned a family picnic. I saw them…really SAW them as the beautiful people they are and I realized in that moment how much I had lost by being led astray. All those years, I thought I couldn’t love them both…my aunt AND my dad’s family. What a waste.
\nLast night, I was diving into an hour or so of genealogy research before I started writing. I don’t know if you are familiar with ancestry.com. When there are new hints for a family member in your tree, a little leaf grows out of the upper right corner of their picture. It has been five years since I’ve signed into Ancestry to do a little snooping around. OMGosh! It looked like a forest in there! Leaves everywhere. I started with my parents and their siblings. I opened my uncle’s hint. A picture of his gravestone. He had died in 2016! I called my cousins and they hadn’t heard a thing. I googled. Nothing. I searched the newspaper archive. No obituary. Nothing.
\nI sat back and let my mind wander and absorb the news. My thoughts swirled round till they started to settle into a reality. All this time, I had let myself believe that once this man was gone, my aunt could talk to me freely again. I could have that relationship back that I had cherished. But, it’s been two years. If she was going to call me…she would have by now. That’s too…half empty to me. Maybe she lost my contact information in the five years since we last talked. Maybe she has dementia and can’t call me. Or, maybe it was her. Maybe SHE was the one who didn’t like what I had done and cut me off.
\nI spent about 15 minutes feeling really sad that I would never have that special relationship again. Then I realized I have gained SO much since things changed. I learned how to think for myself. I gained a whole family of cousins whom I love very much. Life is all about change. It isn’t always easy to adapt to change. However…adapt or stay trapped. It always comes back to choices. I’m special now because GOD says I’m special…I say I’m special…Mr. FixIt and my family says I’m special. And I still look beautiful in periwinkle blue. ❤️
\n“But after you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who calls you to share his eternal glory in union with Christ, will himself perfect you and give you firmness, strength, and a sure foundation. To him be the power for ever! Amen.”\n1 Peter 5:10-11 GNBDC
\n", "date_published": "2018-02-04T02:30:45-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/02/04/skeletons-in-the-closet.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Presence","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/01/31/go-away-mr-snarky.html", "title": "Go Away, Mr. Snarky!", "content_html": "![\"Lion\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/6c594f517d.jpg\")
\nSomething is fundamentally wrong with this world today. Ok…there are so many things, it’s hard to land on one…but today, it’s all about this guy I went to high school with. I love how the Lord gives me SO many opportunities to practice keeping my mouth shut. And I’m doing a whole lot better at it. God knows it isn’t easy for me sometimes.
\nSo, back to this guy. We’ll call him Joe. Ok, that’s his name…Joe. It doesn’t matter if I identify him here…he’ll NEVER see this post. Because Joe is FAR too busy making snarky political comments on other people’s Facebook pages.
\nI became friends with Joe on Facebook in 2009. We were classmates all through school. He was one of the “cool kids”. He was a real cutie back in the day. I hate to admit that even in 2009, I kinda dug it if the “popular” people became my friends on Facebook. That’s sad, isn’t it? There was still some personal growth I obviously needed to work on…and Joe was my opportunity.
\nIn nearly every case, those classmates that I really didn’t know in school have turned out to be sheer delights as friends at this stage of the game. Not Joe. Joe is opinionated, snarky, and oh so bold in his political opinions now that his candidate is in the White House. I usually don’t care. I don’t discuss politics online. I can scroll by annoying posts…I’m an adult. But when I expressed concern at the $23M price tag on the refrigeration’s units for Air Force One, I wasn’t inviting a political discourse. I was questioning how a refrigerator could cost that much. I wanted to learn.
\nSeveral people wrote genuinely kind responses, referring me to websites that explained the intricacies of such a piece of machinery. The two planes that are interchangeable to carry the President (whichever one has POTUS onboard at the time is called Air Force One) were first flown in 1987. Parts must be custom made because they are no longer being manufactured. Plans for new planes began under GW Bush but were postponed. The new planes will not be ready for service until 2023. The new planes will have more modern defenses against missiles and electromagnetic pulse attacks. And, apparently…cold snacks. (Thank you, Gina!) This was the kind of helpful, respectful answer I was looking for. Then, along came Joe.
\nI’ve noticed over the last couple of years, Joe is really opinionated. REALLY. As in, “I have no respect for your opinion if it doesn’t agree with mine.” He dive bombs every conversation with politically charged nastiness. He doesn’t call you names or anything. He just jumps in and stirs the pot. I know. I could have cut him off at the knees a hundred times. But, I’ve been interested in seeing just how far he would take this. The thing is, it’s never quite enough to make me pull the plug. He’s just like an annoying fly at a picnic. I figured I’d just ignore him.
\nThe comment he made wasn’t necessarily offensive, or ugly. However…it just didn’t feel good. It wasn’t nice. It wasn’t supportive, or helpful, or kind, or even polite. I never strike back like with like. I was polite. I asked him not to come to my page and be snarky. I promised I wouldn’t go to his and do the same. It wasn’t enough for Joe. He had to swoop back in with the last word. I can tolerate political differences. I don’t have to suffer a fool.
\nMy dad was well into his eighties when the internet gained traction. He and I never saw eye to eye about much. But I’ll never forget him saying the internet was going to be the downfall of society. We’re watching it happen. People are losing their ability to be kind to one another. They are emboldened behind screens to say things they might not say to your face. And after some time, they lose even that reservation and the ugly comes out everywhere.
\nI’m tired. I want nice again. I saw Tom Hanks is going to play Mr. Rogers in a movie about his life. Maybe that’s what we need…more Mr. Rogers. I miss manners. I miss kindness. I miss my country. I can work with anybody…just, for heaven’s sake, be nice. ❤️
\n“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”\nEphesians 4:31-32 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-01-31T02:30:11-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/01/31/go-away-mr-snarky.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Growth","Grace","Peace","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Presence"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/01/30/the-mckinney-grief-scale.html", "title": "The McKinney Grief Scale", "content_html": "
![\"Elk](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/27222316f7.jpg\")
“Elk in Colorado” by Ginny McKinney
It’s that time of year again where Facebook is kindly sharing the memories of things that occurred in the weeks leading up to Mr. Virgo’s death. This is a wonderful feature, really. It reminds us of things that happened in the past. Birthday parties, the birth of new family members, that dinner party you had to celebrate something special. Those memories come in and give us warm fuzzies. But what about the memories leading up to a tragic loss? They can be so painful…especially early in the grief process. Even now…leading up to the fifth angelversary of my late husband’s death, these memories take me back to that innocent time before I knew what death REALLY was.
\nIt’s not like I would change this. I wouldn’t want these memories to go away. I’d just like to have them come in a little gift box that I could open should I choose to see the contents. I remember the week of his first angelversary. Ironically, it was right around the time they started this memory thing. It took my breath away and knocked me to my knees. For the most part, five years and a new relationship have eased that. It’ll never take it away completely, though. Grief doesn’t work that way. Grief is sneaky. There comes a time when it seems to leave you alone for a bit. It walks around disguised…camouflaged. Then something like a Facebook memory, or a familiar aroma, or the way the sun slants through the window, or the smell of coffee brewing…grief walks up to you, stares you in the face, pokes you in the chest like a schoolyard bully and yells, “Hey!!! Remember me???”
\nNow, it seems, there is a two-toned scale of grief-tinged memories…0-10 on the dark scale (D), 0-10 on the light scale (L). I have dubbed it the “McKinney Grief Scale”. Early memories were high on the dark scale and low on the light. Particularly poignant memories may still lean towards an elevated dark scale with a modicum of light poured in. With the distance of five years, almost all memories are high on the light scale with occasional spikes in the dark.
\nThis particular memory is a D3L8. We were in the early stages of a heavy snowstorm and Mr. Virgo was home for the day. We had no place to go. We spent the day watching TV, talking, cooking, maybe we snuggled on the couch and watched a movie or napped in each other’s arms. I remember going to the kitchen for something and looking out the sliding glass doors. Here were these beautiful elk in our backyard. I grabbed my phone and snapped this picture. I loved the elk in our area. Our subdivision had been a ranch for a hundred years before it was subdivided and houses were built. We encroached on the elk habitat and eventually drove them out. Still, once in a while some would wander through and you’d get a glimpse.
\nYes, a solid D3L8. A little dark, a good amount of light. That’s where I sit a lot these days leading up to Number 5. ❤️
\n“Surely the righteous will never be shaken; they will be remembered forever.”\nPsalm 112:6 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-01-30T02:30:44-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/01/30/the-mckinney-grief-scale.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Grace","Wisdom","Presence"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/01/29/boundaries.html", "title": "Boundaries", "content_html": "
![\"“Boundaries”\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/59d5125230.jpg\")
“Boundaries” by Ginny McKinney
Something I knew nothing about growing up. There were no boundaries save for one. Don’t rock the boat. Ahhh…the walking on egg shells that comes with being the child of an alcoholic. We learn at an early age to dodge bullets. But boundaries? We either didn’t have many…or I didn’t understand the concept. I didn’t know for the longest time where other people ended and I began. I lived my life in a sort of parasitic relationship with my “hosts”…much like Spanish Moss and Mistletoe. My insecurities made it difficult for me to express my own opinions. I was a chameleon…I changed with the whims of my beneficiary…whomever it should be.
\nI’d love to say I out grew that in my late teens, early twenties like most people, but I did not. I really only broke free from the bondage of self loathing after Mr. Virgo came into my world and convinced me of my worth. Still, boundaries were a challenge. I didn’t exercise enough boundaries with my children. I didn’t exercise boundaries with friends and relationships. And I certainly didn’t practice boundaries with myself.
\nAs I continue to grow in my faith walk, I learn more and more about boundaries. Pastor Justin presented an excellent series this month about fixing ourselves up…just like flipping a house. First, you make sure you have a good, solid foundation. Then you give the very best of yourself. Then you get your head right. You get rid of the stinkin’ thinkin’ of the days before you were saved. Change your mind…Change your life. All these things are foundational, and well heeded. But you have to protect your progress, Pastor Justin says…by setting up boundaries. You can’t let the enemy get a foothold in this life of yours. I have been known to cuss like a sailor. I’m doing MUCH better…but I still slip.
\nThis is what I was referring to the other day…we are what we eat. Not literally. We aren’t broccoli and cauliflower. But what we allow to come into us, gets expressed by us into the world. Mr. FixIt and I are a team. We have to set up our perimeter to keep the enemy from infiltrating our ranks…to keep him from trying to divide and conquer. We have to work as a team and to do that, we give each other gentle reminders to shore up that boundary…that little leak in our boat. Because little leaks become big leaks and we’ll drown before we get to shore if we aren’t ever vigilant.
\nDoes this mean we can’t relax and kick back and enjoy life? Not at all. But it does mean we have an accountability partner in the other and we must always bring our best to the table. And we keep our perimeter wall strong and our foundation deep. Because we keep God at the top of the triangle. As we strive towards Him…we inevitably become closer. It is our recipe for success.
\nIt’s #MondayMotivation…time to do our spring cleaning and put our house in order. ❤️
\n“Lord, you alone are my portion and my cup; you make my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance. I will praise the Lord, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me. I keep my eyes always on the Lord. With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure,”\nPsalm 16:5-9 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-01-29T02:30:54-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/01/29/boundaries.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Growth","Gratitude","Love","God","Wisdom","Humbled","Presence","Monday Morning Motivation"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/01/28/the-is-the-day-the.html", "title": "The Is The Day The Lord Hath Made", "content_html": "
![\"Praise\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/ed0eeb41f7.jpg\")
Praise
Let us celebrate and be GLAD in it! It is so easy to celebrate and be glad in the day when all is right in your world, isn’t it? I mean, we want God’s blessings, right? We are happy in our blessings and we (hopefully) thank God for providing for us. It’s a different story when things aren’t going well. It is SO hard to celebrate and be glad when your world is falling apart. I don’t think God is asking you to go out in the streets and celebrate with singing and dancing if you are sincerely in the throes of pain. We can still celebrate the fact we have a loving Father who is going to use our pain for good in some way. He is working in the background, far beyond our understanding, twisting and turning events to bring you favor. We can still be glad in the day he has made, even if we can’t drag ourselves out of bed to enjoy it. I’ve been there. I know what mattress surfing is like. And I still rejoiced that I had someone who loved me more than I could ever imagine.
\nBringing joy into the world isn’t always easy, but the more you try, the more you succeed, and the more you succeed, the more joy you have to give. It is truly the gift that keeps on giving. When I see joy in someone, I stop them and recognize it in them. We are here to love and encourage one another. When you let someone know that you SEE their efforts, your encouragement causes them to grow and expand. It’s an amazing gift you give them…and give yourself.
\nI ran across this video last night and I just had to share with you. Here’s a little girl with more joy than she can possibly contain. Here’s a future worship leader! A future teacher! A future politician! A future doctor! She has the whole world ahead of her and plenty of joy to share. This is the day the Lord hath made…let us rejoice and be glad in it! Go out there and make it a great day today!!! ❤️
\n\n“This is the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.”\nPsalms 118:24 KJV
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-01-28T02:30:20-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/01/28/the-is-the-day-the.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Be Joyful!"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/01/24/it-seems-like-forever.html", "title": "It Seems Like Forever", "content_html": "
![\"Three](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/9cccd1bb02.jpg\")
“Three Apples”
Yesterday was International Pie Day. Ooooooh…that one blew right by me till we were watching the news last night (yes, I actually watched the news but just this once. I was updating my computer and got caught by surprise. sigh) There was one of those inevitable human interest stories that told us about the annual celebration of my all time favorite dessert…PIE! I used to bake competitively and was known as The Pie Queen in my little valley in Colorado. Those were the halcyon days of my youth, teaching people the intricacies of a proper pie crust. These days, Mr. Pillsbury and I make our pies with that fabulous ready made crust that you unroll, fill and bake. Voila! Instant dessert!
\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/dcde683755.jpg\")
“All the Fixins”
Mr. FixIt and I looked at each other. It was 6:00. Still time for pie! I rummaged around in the fridge and found three apples. I still had two rolls of crust left over from the last dinner party we had. Cored, peeled, sliced, with half a lemon squeezed over it…added a couple tablespoons of that wonderful Splenda Brown Sugar blend, three tablespoons of flour, a few good shakes of apple pie spice and a tiny splash of vanilla…and mixed it well. I poured that in the bottom crust, dotted it with a couple teaspoons of butter, topped it with the second crust, slit the top and crimped the edges together. Baked at 375 for about 50 minutes and yummmmmmm…I love apple pie!
\n![\"Apple](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/4b240f7966.jpg\")
“In the Oven”
As we were enjoying dessert, my plan was to head to the back of the house to write my post as I usually do. But Mr. FixIt was scanning through the shows he had recorded on the DVR. “The Story of God by Morgan Freeman?” he asked. Oh…yes please. How can you go wrong with God AND Morgan Freeman, right? I have always been fascinated with religions and the faith of all people. There were some things in the show that didn’t mesh with my interpretation of my faith, but it’s a very personal thing to each individual. I really enjoyed his interviews. We watched three episodes and saved the other two for tonight. I don’t mind watching TV as much if it’s something educational, or a singing competition, or has Morgan Freeman in it!
\n![\"Apple](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/c47fb2a557.jpg\")
“Apple Pie”
In the first episode, the subject of life after death was discussed and what different faiths believe happens to us when we die. Christians live with the belief we will see our loved ones again in Heaven. I don’t know that it lessens the sting of loss, but eventually it was something that offered me some comfort. I think the idea that my loved ones got to see Jesus already is what gives me the most comfort. And…that brings me to the significance of today.
\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/f43e23b6e3.jpg\")
“Wanda Belle”
Today is my mom’s angelversary. She has been gone fourteen years. I miss her as much now as I did the day she left us so unexpectedly. I was frustrated with her that week. She wasn’t well. Her breathing was rapid. I did not know that she hadn’t eaten or drank anything for five days. I have kicked myself a million times for not calling an ambulance myself to take her to the hospital but she refused to go. I was living in Colorado. She was here in West Virginia. I can hide behind the excuse “there was nothing I could do”, but I should have. I should have just called and dealt with her being upset with me. I was mad at her because she refused to come to Colorado where there was excellent health care. I vented my frustration in the very last phone call I had with her. In the middle of the conversation, as I felt my temper start to rise, the Holy Spirit took hold of me and literally shook me. “Wake up! Wake up! This could be your last conversation!” And, it was. I am SO grateful for that I controlled my tongue for once. I told her I understood why she couldn’t come to Colorado. I understood why she didn’t want to leave her home. I mean…I didn’t at the time. But I told her that. And I told her how much I dearly loved her. I told her to just focus on getting well, that I would take care of everything. I told her I would be on a plane the next day and would be there by nightfall. She told me I couldn’t imagine what that meant to her…telling her I understood. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to be with me or that she didn’t think I knew what I was talking about. She was just tired. Sick and tired. More sick and tired than she admitted to me, or I might have been more forceful. As it was, she was gone by 4:00 the next morning.
\nI’ve forgiven myself for failing to make the call. I’ve forgiven myself for speaking to her in harsh tones. It’s been a long time since I shed tears for my mom, but I did as I wrote this post. My only consolation is she knew I loved her…and we will meet again someday. Until then…oh, I miss my mom. ❤️
\n“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.”\n2 Corinthians 1:3-4 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-01-24T02:30:58-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/01/24/it-seems-like-forever.html", "tags": ["Grief","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","God","Wisdom","Presence"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/01/21/when-your-body-speakslisten.html", "title": "When Your Body Speaks...Listen", "content_html": "
![\"WV](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/cc2963afd0.jpg\")
\nI had a huge day planned yesterday. I was really looking forward to gathering with two different groups of friends. I awoke sometime before dawn and my body just said, “Nope. Not today. Go back to sleep.” In the past, I might have forced myself up and made myself go. Since losing Mr. Virgo, I’ve learned to listen more to my body when it speaks to me.
\nGrief not only causes things like “grief brain” which was illustrated in the article I shared with you the other night. Several health ailments can be attributed to grief and the resultant stress it causes. High levels of cortisol…the “fight or flight” hormone…can cause everything from high blood pressure to heart disease to depression to substance abuse. It also affects your immune system and you tend to get sick easier and things last longer. There isn’t an expiration date on grief either. You may not be actively grieving, but you can still suffer from the repercussions.
\nYesterday it was tummy trouble. Easy enough to fix with rest, fluids and over the counter medications. I have to be extra careful with things like gluten and fats now. I didn’t have to do that before Mr. Virgo died. Another thing that came my way was an autoimmune response to grief and I developed plantar-palmar psoriasis. I doctored that with steroids and every psoriasis cream known to man. I tried folk remedies and old wive’s tales. Nothing touched it till last year when I started using doTerra’s LifePak vitamins and CBD (canabidiol) ointment. It’s pretty well controlled now with occasional applications and I take a small dose of the vitamins every other day or so.
\nNothing is the same after a profound loss. For a long time, I grieved not only for Mr. Virgo…but also for the ME that I lost in the process of grieving. When I finally let go of trying to recreate my life the way it was before, I began to embrace the life I was building. It’s much, much better but the physical things still creep up on me from time to time. I still find them frustrating, even though I am much better at listening to my body now. When it says, “Go back to sleep”…unless I have something that I absolutely HAVE to do…I listen. I texted my friends and told them I was going to have to bow out because I didn’t feel well. They totally understood. There will be other opportunities to get together. And I spent the day reading. I haven’t spent the day reading in ages because for the longest time, my grief brain wouldn’t allow me to concentrate long enough to get through a book. It was lovely to be able to read…and comprehend what I was reading. Mr. Fixit watched college basketball and a couple of movies while I cuddled up on the couch and listened to recordings of campfires and thunderstorms.
\nRemember…self care is not selfish. It is necessary. If you are alone, you may have the freedom to practice self care any time, but not always. I am fortunate to have this wonderful man who understands and supports my need for self care on a regular basis. What a gift he is to me. ❤️
\n“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen.”\n1 Peter 5:7-11 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-01-21T02:30:15-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/01/21/when-your-body-speakslisten.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Presence","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/01/20/savor-the-sweet.html", "title": "Savor the Sweet", "content_html": "
![\"Woman](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/411e0f5d86.jpg\")
\nThe first time I set foot in a trout stream, I was six years old. It was the summer before my life would be forever changed by the illicit touch of a stranger. The summer of 1960 found my family on its very first vacation. We traveled to the mountains of West Virginia and rented a small cabin for a week. I remember mom frying trout in an iron skillet. I remember my brother and I playing quietly in the shade of the many trees surrounding our camp. I remember my dad standing in the shallow middle, up to his knees, casting over and over with the flies he had meticulously tied at his workbench in the basement. And I remember the river. The North Fork of the South Branch of the Potomac River, to be exact.
\nI didn’t have much experience with open bodies of water. Mom had instilled an unhealthy fear of water in me with stories of the time she saved her baby sister from drowning. She had no intention of ever having to save me, so I was banished from any water sports. And, it turns out…I’m a bit of a water baby. I remember one day in particular. Dad was out in his favorite fishing hole, patiently casting, and I stood at the river’s edge. I contemplated the ripples as they passed over the smooth river rocks. I gazed at the deep pools that changed to the color of emeralds where the sandy bottom lay two or three feet below. I delighted at the light dancing on the surface like a thousand diamonds and the trout flashing as they breached the surface to catch their next meal.
\nThat was a simple and peaceful summer…the last I would know before my innocence was taken from me. But, that is not to say, I have never found moments that have recaptured that sense of awe and wonder. I have…many times. Yesterday was one of those days that delivered sweet things…one after another…till I was overflowing with the beauty and simplicity of it all.
\nI made my routine trip to the farm to see how the kitties are fairing. I checked the stove and the basement. I sat, as I always do, in the chair in “Grandma’s Window” and watched the birds at the feeder. I listened to the sounds of an old house…living and breathing…its bones creaking like the old woman that she is. I watched the pendulum in Mr. Virgo’s clock swing back and forth, reminding me I couldn’t stay too long. We had company coming.
\nI stopped at the neighbor’s for a bit and delivered a small gift of French Truffles. We passed the time, catching up on the news of the neighbors and I left with promises it wouldn’t be so long till my next visit. I turned the truck toward home. I checked the mail and found a pink slip…a package had come and would be waiting for me at the post office. Mr. FixIt offered to go pick it up as I put the groceries away. I no sooner sat down till our company arrived.
\nMr. FixIt’s granddaughter and her family brought their baby to see Papaw and GG! I have inherited a whole passel of people in this relationship, including a son and his wife, a daughter and her man, three granddaughters (two of whom have significant others), a grandson and his girlfriend, and a great granddaughter. You know what that means, don’t you? I am a great grandmother! And…considering I am WAY too young to be one (smile)…I am GG. Great Grandma. Grandma Ginny. GG. It suits me. The baby is four months old and the most precious little thing. What a treat to hold and rock a little one again!
\nBefore long, Mr. FixIt came back with my box. I couldn’t wait to open it. It was a special introductory gift box from my dear friend, and fellow Sister on the Fly, Michelle McMullen Cummings with her newly published book, The Reel Sisters! https://www.thereelsisters.com/product/the-reel-sisters-gift-box/ Now I have two books to read, one published and one unpublished with an invitation to write early praise for its release. Both written by strong women I admire and I can’t wait to get into them! The reminder of these sister friendships warmed my heart as rocked and sang a lullaby to the newest member of our immediate family. I thought…”I will teach you to fly, little sister” as I sniffed the top of her sweet, soft head.
\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/8a4033efd5.jpg\")
\nI am enjoying getting to know and bond with Mr. FixIt’s family. As his granddaughter bundled up the baby and prepared to leave yesterday, she turned to me and said, “I like you. You make my grandpa very happy.” I like her, too. She reminds me a little of myself when I was her age. A young mother, in love with her baby, her life stretching before her like an endless summer. It filled me with a soft warmth. As I sat propped in our bed last night, typing away at the keyboard writing this post, that very happy Papaw came in with a small bowl of ice cream and a kiss on the top of my head. And I swear…my heart exploded with joy.
\nThe sweet simplicity of a life lived with boundless joy. My God has delivered me far, far from the pain life can bring. For now. There will be pain again. There always is. This is life, after all. The difference is, I have this now. I am building my insurance policy. These stories are money in my emotional bank…stories to look back upon one day and remember the joy I felt on a cold January day in the sun. ❤️
\n“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.”\nJames 1:17 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-01-20T02:30:14-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/01/20/savor-the-sweet.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Travel","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Hope","Positive Energy","Fun","West Virginia","The Farm","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Presence","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/01/19/catching-up.html", "title": "Catching Up", "content_html": "
![\"Coffee](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/50b1ef10f4.jpg\")
\nOne of the best ways to catch up with paperwork is to have peaceful surroundings. Mr. FixIt had a day of errands to do. I think he kinda wanted me to tag along with him yesterday, but I know us well…I would have ended up coming in at 9:30 last night and none of this work would have gotten done.
\nAs soon as he left (with a big hug and kiss) I turned on praise music and cranked it up. I always need a little extra dose of Jesus when I am heading into a formidable task. Wading through many bags and boxes of papers and sorting them into some sort of organization that allows me to actually put my finger on things was the order of the day. With praise, and good coffee and French Truffles…I waded in with both feet and started making the first cuts. What was trash. What needed to be kept in which pile. I really, really hate paperwork! “Jesus is calling…” I can do this. “Do you thirst for a drink from the well…” I can do this. “The Father’s arms are open wide…” Oh, yes…I can definitely do this! “Bring your sorrows and trade them for joy…” YES…let’s DO this!!!
\nAs I often do, I talk out loud to Jesus when I’m working. The conversation is never one-sided. He always speaks to me through the Holy Spirit and tells me everything I need to hear. First, he smacks my hand a little…”Keep up with this stuff better.” He chides gently. “You know what an ordeal it is when you put it off till the end of the year. It seems overwhelming. If it’s difficult to slog through…remember to talk with me while you’re working. It makes the time pass faster. And, I can help. I can help you put things into perspective. I can help you find lost papers. I can help you remember who you need to talk to about this and that. I can help you make important decisions. Just remember to include me…even in the most mundane of your daily activities.”
\nThen He goes on with his daily teaching. “Thank your Father for the gifts you receive. See all these papers? They are all articles of provision. That bank account? I gave you that gift to provide for your every need. Respect that. Balance every month…not because it’s a drudge, but because it’s an honor to see the abundance you have been provided with. The same goes for that insurance policy you have been complaining about because the price went up. Be grateful you HAVE insurance…and so far, you haven’t run out of money to pay for it. What about that accident last February? I know you have been dreading searching for all the papers you need to have in order to finish out that claim. Yes, that’s a pain…but, I made sure you weren’t terribly injured. And you received a much newer truck when yours was totaled. It was “a miracle” when you got that check that just almost covered the new truck, wasn’t it? It was Me…I made sure you have a safe, affordable vehicle. A little gratitude goes a long way, dear one.”
\nWhat blessings I have. I have a Father that provides for me. I have a loving family that supports and loves me. I have this tremendous man in my life who loves me and shares his home with me as if it has always been mine…he’s just been waiting for me to come along. I have my health. I have the farm. I have TOW-Wanda. I have a retirement. I have Social Security and health insurance and soon, I’ll have Medicare…that carrot at the end of the race that will help provide for me in my golden years. I have a house…TWO houses…THREE if you count TOW-Wanda…to shelter me from the storms of life. I have food and clean water and clothes. I am wealthy….beyond my wildest dreams. I am LOVED. What a lovely way to look at the mundane, dreary chore of sorting through paperwork. What a lovely way to look at the world. Thank you, God! “You’re a good, good Father…it’s who you are, it’s who you are…” ❤️
\n“And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.”\nPhilippians 4:19 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-01-19T02:30:51-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/01/19/catching-up.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Presence"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/01/18/tucking-in-with-tea.html", "title": "Tucking in with Tea", "content_html": "
![\"A](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/da54001e7b.jpg\")
\nI love a hot cup of tea on a cold winter day. And, baby…it is c-o-l-d! It is nice to just stay in and get stuff done around the house. Catching up on correspondence. Going through stacks of paperwork and organizing. Tossing old magazines. All things that need to be done and can be accomplished when you’re stuck inside.
\nI’m reading my friend’s final draft of her book so I can write advanced praise. You’re going to love it…I’ve cried ten times! I can’t wait to share it with you.
\nIn the meantime, I was doing a little research yesterday after reading some of your comments on my post. I do that often. I came across an article in Psychology Today that I loved. As I read it, tears stung my eyes and I thought…whoever wrote this really gets it! When I got to the bottom, I saw that it was written by someone I know! Susan Heitler, PhD…a Clinical Psychologist in Denver. Susan had a little office located by the back door to the suite I worked in when Hubby #2 was in medical school. She often ate her lunch at the front desk in her office…the door flung open wide as if to beckon passers by to come in for a visit. I often stopped on my way to and from the cafeteria. Sitting for a few moments with Susan was like breathing in sunshine. I always left feeling really good about myself. I would have loved to bottle some of that up and take it with me where ever I went in the years since I last saw her. Here’s the article I read: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/resolution-not-conflict/201202/psychological-diagnosis-dangerous-desirable-or-both
\nThe last several days’ posts have been really heavy so I’m keeping today light on purpose. There is so much darkness in the world…we need a day of light once in a while. As I’m writing this, I’m listening to sounds of the woods. Water in a creek. Crickets. Tree frogs. Night birds. I miss those sounds. The woods are so quiet in the winter. The air seems dead as it is muted by the snow on the ground. It’s so cold my nose hairs freeze when I breathe in! Yet, I still have to sleep with the window cracked a bit. I have to have air. Mr. FixIt doesn’t like heavy blankets so I bought an electric blanket. It is the warmest thing I’ve ever had and not at all heavy. A good compromise.
\nI made Banana Nut muffins yesterday with blueberries in them. We went shopping at the department store that is closing and bought about $460 worth of clothes for $22…mostly for the great grandbaby! I’m researching how to make jewelry from broken china. I scheduled a camping trip for May. I caught a mouse in the attic. We watched a Reese Witherspoon movie. And I’m gathering the data I need to close out the paperwork from the car accident I was in last February. So far, it’s been a really good week! How about you? What are you doing to pass the time till spring? ❤️
\n“Fruit trees of all kinds will grow on both banks of the river. Their leaves will not wither, nor will their fruit fail. Every month they will bear fruit, because the water from the sanctuary flows to them. Their fruit will serve for food and their leaves for healing.””\nEzekiel 47:12 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2018-01-18T02:30:19-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/01/18/tucking-in-with-tea.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Peace","Wisdom","Presence"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/01/17/times-up.html", "title": "Time’s Up", "content_html": "![\"Time’s](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/0b2a8225b1.jpg\")
\nI was a doctor’s wife. I had a beautiful life, for all intents and purposes. While he wasn’t a demonstrative man, I felt I was coping as best I could with his inability to meet my emotional needs. He was a good provider and a good dad. I could overlook the rest. There came a point when I started unraveling a bit. The clouds of depression circled around but never lit very long in those days. That is, until I went in for a physical. My doctor asked how I was doing and I told him I was a bit blue of late. I would often walk into the baby’s room, pick her up and rock her…and cry. “Hmmmmm… Inappropriate crying.” he wrote in my chart. He gave me a prescription for Zoloft and the race to self destruction began. How could I tell him why I was crying? How could I do that in the short time he had allotted for this visit? It was so much deeper than any pill could ever reach.
\nAs I write this, I’m watching the gymnasts facing their abusive doctor in court. What a different world it is for sexual abuse victims now. My first abuser was a senior in high school. I was eight or nine. I was playing with a friend when the big boy lured us into a garage to “look at toys”. When he had his hand in my pants, he was whispering things in my ear I didn’t understand. Mom said don’t talk to strangers. But “Butterball” lived in the neighborhood. We knew him. I stood stock still in the belief he would leave. When he was done with me, he went for my friend. In that moment, my maternal instincts kicked in and I grabbed her hand and ran down the hill to her house. I pounded on the door and her mother came to answer. I was frantic and told her what had happened. She opened the screen door and I thought…”Oh, thank God! She’s going to save us!” Mrs. G grabbed her daughter and drew her in the house. As I started to go in, she placed her hand on my chest, pushed me out the door, and said, “Don’t you EVER say anything like that EVER again to ANYBODY!” Then she slammed the door in my face.
\nI went to my house and sat on the lawn trying to figure out what had happened. When I was really little, my babysitter’s teenage daughter had sex with her boyfriend in her room all the time. She caught me watching once and beat the tar out of me and told me I was bad. And here, a mother I knew and trusted told me I was bad and I had a pretty good idea it had something to do with that physical act I had no name for. I made a concrete decision right there. I would take Mrs. G’s advice. I would not tell my mom. I mean, what if I told her and SHE put me out on the street like my friend’s mom??? I would die!
\nI never told, nor did I tell about the time it happened with my best friend’s dad when I was twelve or thirteen. You know…when you are convinced you are bad from your earliest memories, that kind of damage runs deeply and permanently in your DNA.
\nI didn’t tell until I was watching my girls on the living room floor, playing. Daughter #1 was sixteen. Daughter #2 was one. I don’t know if it was the way the sun came in through the window or the way my daughter tucked her hair behind her ear or maybe it was the sound of their sweet innocent voices but suddenly those memories came rushing back with such force it nearly knocked me to my knees. The shadow of depression that was floating just out of my reach crashed on me with the force of a tsunami. That is when I started rocking my baby in the night…weeping. “Inappropriate crying”? I think not. I was trying to figure out how I was going to protect this precious child from the horrors that await little girls in the great big world. I was weeping for that little girl in me who was abused then turned away by someone who could have helped her..SHOULD have helped her. I was trying to figure out just one thing in my 38-year-old mind…”Who can I tell? And, what the hell does it matter now?” Just, please God…keep them safe.
\nThe fact that I’m sitting here alive and well, and that my children are beautiful and safely grown is testimony to a mother’s strength and courage. The road was long and filled with unexploded ordinance, but we made it through. I told my mom everything when I was about forty. I was hyper vigilant with my girls but they were never abused under my watch. Now, I tell and tell and tell in an effort to teach prevention and give permission to tell your own stories. Because, #timesup. No more secrets. No more lies. No more hiding in the dark.
\nYes…I’m proud of these young gymnasts. And, everyone else in the #metoo movement. I wish there had been this same moral outrage when these athletes came forward. It would have helped them so much because, just as it’s difficult to walk the path of grief alone, so too is the walk of abuse. It is the original “walk of shame”…only we did nothing wrong. It was not our fault.
\nWhile I never wish pain on people as a rule, I felt a certain vindication when I watched that doctor with his face in his hands as he is forced to sit there while victim after victim sit before him and tell their stories. To see him take off his glasses and wipe the tears away and hang his head in shame gave me great satisfaction. My abuse occurred in a time when such things weren’t talked about. Therefore, my abusers went on and lived their lives unscathed. I don’t know if they ever felt bad. Did they ever have remorse? Did they ever think of me? Did they ever want to ask for my forgiveness but didn’t know where to find me? Or better yet, did they ask God to forgive them? Did they find salvation? Will we meet somewhere and have the opportunity to talk? One is dead. Too late. I’m not sure about the other one. He’d be about 74 years old now. I’ve forgiven them both long ago. But I do often wonder…what if? What if I could sit (or could have sat) in front of my abusers and tell them what their actions did to me. How it affected my family, my relationships, my children. How it affected my views of the world and my sense of personal safely and my relationship to sexuality. How their few moments stolen from me left a deep chasm in my psyche that I urgently tried to fill with drugs and alcohol, sex and shopping. How the memories I had so carefully packed deeply away in a place that could never be opened came crashing out on a sunny Saturday morning…ripping my neat and tidy little suburban doctor’s wife life into shreds.
\nInappropriate crying?!?! You got a couple of hours to listen to WHY I was holding my baby and crying?!?! You tell me, doc. Because at that point, I had no words to describe what had happened, no one to listen…to really hear…and only tears to shed. Your answer? Drugs. Drugs, drugs, and more drugs.
\n“Shhhhh…here. Take this. Let us help.”
\nI was very nearly “doctored to death”.
\nYes, today I am proud of these beautiful young women doing a job no one in their right mind wants to do. We should be living in a world where we don’t ever NEED to have these conversations. As Oprah said…there is a change coming.
\nAccountability.
\nA new dawn is rising.
\nTime’s up. ❤️
\n“If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.”\nMatthew 18:6 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2018-01-17T02:30:46-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/01/17/times-up.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Grace","God","Peace","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Presence"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/01/16/on-being-loved.html", "title": "On Being Loved", "content_html": "![\"Flowers](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/066e9e9604.jpg\")
\nMr. FixIt and I have developed this little routine the last few months. We have a nice dinner and clear up the dishes. We sit together for a while and talk or maybe watch a movie or an episode of Big Bang or MASH. When it’s time for a bedtime snack, I take mine into the bedroom at the far end of the house and write while my sweetie watches a ball game or the news and weather. It works out great and we both have that little bit of alone time everyone needs in a relationship. I’ve taken to listening to nature sounds on Amazon Music as I write so quite often, in my head, there’s a thunderstorm raging or ocean waves are gently lapping at the shore or birds are singing in a tropical rainforest. It’s so soothing and easy to write to.
\nMy guy bowls on a couple of leagues and has for over thirty years. Bowling offered him the opportunity to socialize with fun people. He is gregarious, and bowling has been a great outlet for him. The other night he stopped at the store on the way home. He always calls me before he heads home because no matter where we are staying…his house or mine…it is a good forty minutes from town. He asks if I need anything. Usually, I don’t. He called me from the driveway the other night and asked me to open the door. He’s not supposed to carry anything in his bad hand yet. When I greeted him at the door, he handed me the groceries and I ducked in the kitchen with them. It was SO cold out there…I wanted away from the door as fast as I could. When I turned around to hug him, he handed me this bouquet of yellow roses.
\nI love yellow roses. I love great big bouquets of mixed flowers but all in white. I love a live orchid. Mr. Virgo used to bring me flowers. And now…I have this sweet love…this good, good man. And HE brings me flowers, too. Guys like Mr. Virgo and Mr. FixIt are a rare breed. My sweetheart told me the other day he wished we had started dating in high school so we could have had our whole lives together. I understand that thinking, and it’s sweet…really. But the thing is, we are the people we are right now simply BECAUSE of the life experiences we have been through. There is a really big chance we wouldn’t have gotten along in our early years. All of our experiences have been opportunities for personal growth. We came together when we did because it was GOD’S timing…not ours.
\nWhen we can move over and get out of the way, God does extraordinary things in our lives. “Let go and let God” isn’t just a pithy saying or a tired cliche from an AA meeting. It is straight outta the instruction manual for life…the Bible. Oh, we are such proud creatures. We want to have control. We want to steer the boat and make it go where WE want it. At any given moment, there is a preordained course designed specifically for us. God knows your name. He has plans to prosper you. God loves you more than anyone in the world. He loves you more than you can fathom. You can make it SO much easier if you put God in the driver’s seat. The easiest way to do that is ask. Just ask Him…first thing in the morning. “Where are you going to take me today, Lord?” Then get out of the way. Oh, my…could it really be that easy??? ❤️
\n“Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans.”\nProverbs 16:3 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-01-16T02:30:37-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/01/16/on-being-loved.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Hope","Positive Energy","Fun","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Aging","Presence","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/01/15/toxicity.html", "title": "Toxicity", "content_html": "
![\"Toxicity](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/95427f7bf9.jpg\")
“Toxicity” by Ginny McKinney
“People tell you who they are, but we ignore it because we want them to be who we want them to be.”\nMad Men ~ Don Draper
\nOk, show of hands…how many of you have been in toxic relationships? Ahhhh, yes…I thought so. Almost all of you nodded your heads and said, “Yep!” I have been in more than one. They don’t feel good. They are crazy-making. And, they are avoidable but you really have to have your eyes open to see them!
\nI’ve been having the most fascinating ongoing conversation over the last week. I ran into someone from my past on Facebook. We knew each other fairly well back in the day. She watched me go through a terribly dark period in my life. She saw me spiral out of control. She saw depression consume me. She saw me reach out for help but the help I really needed just wasn’t there. There wasn’t anything she could do but watch helplessly as I went down in flames.
\nI was in a toxic relationship. I didn’t even know what that was at the time. It wasn’t until much later the term was coined and a definition was given for this type of relationship. According to Health Scope Magazine, “a toxic relationship is a relationship characterized by behaviors on the part of the toxic partner that are emotionally and, not infrequently, physically damaging to their partner. Keep in mind that it takes two individuals to have a toxic relationship.” In my case, the damage wasn’t physical…it was emotional. Disparaging comments, derogatory remarks, mean-spirited repartee described as “just kidding”. Remarks like “I don’t want to hurt your feelings, but…” and “You’re not wearing THAT out, are you?” and “Well…THAT was stupid!”
\nThe other day, I wrote about how I had been being critical of Mr. FixIt because I was frustrated about something. We all do that to one degree or another…on occasion. But, when a relationship devolves to base comments that never get better, that only tend to deteriorate and get “snarkier” and more brazen and harsh…that’s a problem. What most often happens in that situation is something called “gaslighting”. The term comes from a movie called Gaslight. In the movie, a man and woman are in a toxic relationship. He starts turning the gaslight off and asking her why she did that. He made the woman think she was crazy. Gaslighting is a terrible form of abuse and can go on for years unchecked if the person being gaslighted believes what is being said. I began to believe I was crazy. And THAT was crazy!
\nWhat was fascinating with this conversation was the third party observations that absolutely validated my experiences. That told me…I really WASN’T crazy! Well…beyond what the relationship caused. The important thing about the definition of a toxic relationship is…it takes two people to be in one. The other day I read about a celebrity who was dating a man who tickled her. She told him she didn’t like tickling, it made her feel vulnerable, helpless, and out of control…and would he please stop. He thought that was really dumb so he tickled her anyway. She broke up with him. I thought to myself, “Way to GO, girlfriend!” When gaslighting first started in my relationship, I second guessed it. I thought surely I must be mistaken. The person I knew and loved would NEVER do that. I must have misheard or misunderstood. I’m being too sensitive. Then you start walking on eggshells. Maybe you lash back. Maybe you try to trap each other and get in a power struggle to gain the upper hand and get things back in control. Whatever you do, a toxic relationship is best avoided at all costs.
\nMy old friend went through exactly the same thing in her relationship…word for word. The same life circumstances, the same process, the same results. To have someone who knows you, who has gone through the same thing, and can say “These things happened to me, too!”? Wow! Liberation. Validation. It’s hard to describe how that felt inside.
\nThe problem with toxic relationships is they rob you of your self-esteem…your self-confidence. They leave you feeling powerless and out of control. The first time I was able to set boundaries with someone and stick to it felt like I had just discovered fire! Such a rush of power came through me…it was totally foreign. I didn’t learn these skills growing up. I was a girl, to begin with. Secondly, I was the child of an alcoholic. I had no one to teach me about boundaries and values. It is utterly amazing to be very nearly sixty-five years old and finally “get it”. To have my eyes open.
\nThank you, thank you, thank you, my friend! Our conversations have done more for me than all the therapy I went through back in the day. I am so happy we have reconnected. God brings us the people we need at just the right time, doesn’t He? ❤️
\n“For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.”\nJames 3:16 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2018-01-15T02:30:20-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/01/15/toxicity.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Growth","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Presence"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/01/14/sweet-sweet-memories.html", "title": "Sweet, Sweet Memories", "content_html": "![\"Orchard](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/e9ecc8dedd.jpg\")
\nI was fiddling around yesterday hooking up my new printer and computer when I received a text from an old friend. Cindy lived in the flat below me when Hubby #1 and I lived in England in the early ’70s. We’ve stayed in touch all these years and although we don’t get to see each other very often, we will always be close. We were young and so very far away from home and we became “family”.
\n![\"The](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/e2f8f029c3.jpg\")
\nTo my surprise and utter delight, Cindy sent me several photos. Her ex was in England and had visited our little village. He sent her several pictures of the apartment building and the surrounding area. I have always wanted to go back and this was the next best thing. I’m not terribly surprised to see things look exactly as they did in 1973 when I arrived to begin my life as a newly married military bride. My husband was stationed at RAF Greenham Common in Newbury and we lived in a small village on the outskirts called Thatcham.
\n![\"Thatched](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/c96ca30ff3.jpg\")
\nI have so many wonderful memories of life on foreign soil. I remember arriving at Heathrow International Airport. I had never flown before and everything was so big and loud. I was raised in a very quiet town in West Virginia. There were very few “foreigners” in our neck of the woods. Mom had a friend who was from Lebanon. I had a distant relative who married a man whose parents immigrated from another country. When I arrived in London, I wasn’t sure there hadn’t been some sort of mistake and I had landed in Pakistan!
\n![\"Fish](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/ae80dbb8e8.jpg\")
\nAs I went through customs, I looked out a long wall of windows and saw nothing but a sea of faces staring back in. I was horrified! I turned to the Customs Agent and asked her how on earth I was going to find my husband in all this mess. She smiled and assured me HE would find ME…not to worry. He did, of course. As we left the parking garage, we entered The Twilight Zone! Every thing was different. We drove on the wrong side of the street. Huge crosswalks called “zebras” made it clear they took pedestrian safety very seriously in this country. As in any major city in the world, the cacophany of car horns were only outdone by the odd “wee woop” of emergency sirens. Big, black taxis looking all the world like they came straight out of a ’50s movie jockeyed for position to pick up the bazillion people frantically waving their arms for attention. I know for a fact I didn’t blink for the first hour I was there.
\n![\"Bakery,](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/6b0eefe359.jpg\")
\nI remember long drives through rolling fields of green. We lived in horse country. The only thing worse than hitting a pedestrian in England would be hitting a horse! Quite often, horse and rider would be spotted on the little country lanes we traveled and you had to always be on your toes to watch out for them. Hubby #1 worked the night shift so on his nights off, we would drive in the dark, foggy countryside. It was peaceful and quiet then…the yellow streetlights cutting through the dense fog to allow us to see our way.
\nI had my first baby when I lived in England. We traveled often to Reading for my doctor’s visits. We stopped at tea houses or bakeries or the local fish ’n chips shop. The only fast food in the country that we were familiar with was a Kentucky Fried Chicken there in Reading. We went to a park with our food. There was a large circular pond and people floated big motorized model boats on the water with remote controls. It was all so serene and peaceful. It really was like stepping back in time. The only thing that didn’t feel like a throwback were the young people. They were way ahead of the times sporting mohawks and studded leather jackets. It was an interesting dichotomy.
\nShopping was done frequently as the refrigerators were nothing larger than a dorm fridge. You carried a basket to market twice a week to buy food and whatever else you were looking for at the time. Cindy and I often shopped together. I was once mistaken by a shopkeeper as her mother yet I was only two years older than she! Granted, she looked very young for her age and I was very pregnant. Cindy threw a surprise baby shower for me. She is my sweet, forever sister/friend.
\nI know I’ve talked about this part of my life before, but I wanted to share these photos with you. It was so great to send them to my daughter and say…“Here’s the place we brought you to when we came home from the hospital!” I do SO want to return someday. I want to take Daughter #1 and her family. I’d also like to have Cindy and her husband join us. Dreams. Something to work towards. Always put something joyful in front of you! ❤️
\n“People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own.”\nHebrews 11:14 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2018-01-14T02:30:05-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/01/14/sweet-sweet-memories.html", "tags": ["Family","Travel","Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","Fun","Growth","Love","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/01/13/the-umbrella-incident-or-how.html", "title": "“The Umbrella Incident” or “How to Feed Your Man”", "content_html": "![\"Winter](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/def162faf9.jpg\")
“Winter Flooding in West Virginia” by Ginny McKinney
It all started innocently enough. It was going to rain and I was heading to town soon. As I jumped in the shower, I called out to Mr. FixIt.
\n“Honey…would you mind grabbing my umbrella out of the truck?”
\nWhen I got dressed and was heading out the door, I looked around. My umbrella wasn’t there. I asked if he had gotten it for me and Mr. FixIt said no. There was an umbrella there by the door. Now, it was a perfectly good umbrella. One that, you know, keeps rain off of you. But I wanted MY umbrella and I felt Mr. FixIt had made a decision for me. I didn’t like it.
\nSilly…that was just plain silly of me. But, I am my mother’s daughter and stubborn is my middle name. I hopped out the door and into the rain…sans umbrella.
\n“I’ll show YOU!” I thought as I made a mad dash for the truck. “I don’t need your stinky old boy umbrella!”
\nRidiculous. I got wet because I got my nose out of joint. And why? Because, somewhere in the far recesses of my mind I equated “Please get my umbrella.” with “Please tell me you love me.” That is old school thinking right there…something I thought I left behind like…two relationships ago.
\nIt’s been a couple of weeks now. And ever since, I’ve been criticizing Mr. FixIt’s every move. Mostly because he’s a man and he had surgery and he’s SUPPOSED to be taking care of that hand so it will heal properly and he’s as stubborn as me and he does things his way and….did I say he was stubborn? I have spent the better part of two weeks with “Don’t pick that up!” And “Here…let ME do it!” I think there were eye-rolls involved. All of this was done in an effort to punish him for a perceived slight that was nothing more than something made up in my head. Some unpacked baggage from seasons past that has absolutely nothing to do with him.
\nThen…the rain started.
\nIt rained…hard. Yesterday morning I awoke to the sounds of the carpet cleaner sucking water up from the rug downstairs. The basement flooded! I jumped up and ran downstairs. And there was my man…emptying one gallon containers of dirty water into the sink…carrying them with two hands, one of which he isn’t supposed to lift anything heavier than popcorn.
\n“Breathe…breathe…don’t scold him. He’s not a child.” My inner voice reasoned with me.
\n“Did you plug in the sump pump?” I asked.
\n“No.” Shoulders slumped. Voice dejected.
\n“Are you kidding me?” I asked.
\nShoulders slumped more. “Stupid. It was stupid.”
\nI took the carpet cleaner and started that part myself so he wouldn’t have to carry the bucket to the sink. Mr. FixIt went about sweeping up water in the room without carpet. He ran the vacuum. We didn’t talk much. Then I sent him off on an errand to town.
\nAfter he left, I went upstairs and fixed myself a cup of coffee. I sipped it as I ran the carpet cleaner back and forth over the soggy carpet. And I fumed. Then I could see the dejected slump of my sweetheart’s shoulders and my heart softened.
\n“Lord,” I said out loud. “I haven’t been loving this wonderful man you gave me the way I should. I haven’t been loving him the way you love me. And all because he didn’t get my umbrella for me!”
\nI sucked up more water, emptied the bucket, and began again.
\n“Lord, please give me the heart of a cheerful servant. Let me see all of his good qualities and none of the annoying traits that make us human. Can you do that for me, please?” I asked with sincere earnestness in my voice.
\nSuddenly, the old hymn “Farther Along” started up in my mind and I began to sing out loud as I vacuumed up bucket after bucket of water.
\n“Tempted and tried we’re oft made to wonder\nWhy it should be thus all the day long\nWhile there are others living about us\nNever molested though in the wrong.
\nFarther along we’ll know all about it\nFarther along well understand why\nCheer up my brother, live in the sunshine\nWe’ll understand it all by and by.
\nWhen death has come and taken our loved ones\nIt leaves our home so lonely and drear\nThen do we wonder why others prosper\nLiving so wicked year after year.
\nWhen we see Jesus coming in glory\nWhen he comes down from his home in the sky\nThen we shall meet him in that bright mansion\nWe’ll understand it all by and by.
\nFarther along we’ll know all about it\nFarther along we’ll understand why\nCheer up my brother, live in the sunshine\nWe’ll understand it all by and by.
\nYes, we’ll understand it…all by and by.”
\nI sang and sang and in two verses…maybe three…something happened. Any negative thoughts I had been having dissolved. My heart was soft and open. God had indeed given me the heart of a cheerful servant, just as I had asked.
\nI went on and worked, happily singing and emptying bucket after bucket of dirty flood water. I worked for about three hours when Mr. FixIt walked in carrying breakfast for me. I went upstairs and gave him a great big hug and an even bigger smile. I thanked him profusely for bringing me a warm breakfast. I hadn’t taken time to eat. I patted the seat beside me. He shook his head and said no…he needed to get back to it.
\n“Please?” I begged. “Just for a minute.”
\nHe smiled and sat down.
\n“Sweetheart, listen…I know you feel stupid for not plugging in the sump pump. But, I could have thought of it, too. And I didn’t. We unplugged it to put up the snowman for Christmas and just forgot. We make mistakes…it happens. It wasn’t your fault.” I put my hand on his knee and looked at him intently. I wanted to make sure he heard me.
\nMr. FixIt turned those baby blues to mine and gave me his sweetest smile. And, I felt I’d made it right. This is how you feed a man. You feed his spirit. You feed his soul. You breathe life into him. When you start looking for the bad in your love…that’s all you will see. I really, REALLY don’t want to go there. Do I get it right all the time? Oh, heck no! I’m human, too. I stumble and forget and let my lower self talk WAY too often. But sometimes I get it right. Sometimes I remember to ask God for help. Yesterday was one of those days. ❤️
\n“Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”\nHebrews 4:16 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2018-01-13T02:30:33-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/01/13/the-umbrella-incident-or-how.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Presence"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/01/12/here-comes-the-rain.html", "title": "Here Comes the Rain", "content_html": "![\"The](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/41a9fc3f1c.jpg\")
“Belpre Bridge” by Ginny McKinney
Yesterday morning was sunny and warm. By warm, I mean 47. As in…above freezing! And by afternoon it was 72 degrees according to the thermometer on my truck. swoon I haven’t felt this warm since sometime back in September. It was downright balmy out there!
\nMr. FixIt and I had errands to run yesterday and he asked me mid-day what I’d like for lunch. My go to favorite? The Southwest Grilled Chicken Salad with Fat Free Honey Mustard Dressing from Chik-fil-A! And my go to favorite place to eat it? Point Park in Parkersburg. I wanted to watch the ice floes out on the Ohio River. Yesterday, there were three Blue Herons and a bunch of Seagulls sitting out on the ice. I believe two gents were trying to woo the same lady heron because one kept shooing off the interloper. Said lady was having none of it and kept flying away from Mr. Romance.
\nIt had just started raining when we parked in our favorite spot. We really wanted to see a tug pushing barges through the ice but unfortunately, none came along. As an update, Mr. FixIt started working with a hand therapist yesterday. He’s doing really well. He did strain it a little last Sunday night when he pushed up off the floor, but it’s much better now. The therapist made a custom splint for his wrist and thumb that is much sturdier than the one he was given at the surgeon’s office and I am relieved. I was very worried he would slip on the ice and snow last week and really do some damage. We sure don’t want to have to go through this again!
\nOne of my friends and his wife lost their faithful companion, Blue, yesterday. When I was so lonely and hurting, so many of my readers encouraged me to adopt a dog, but this is exactly why I couldn’t. I simply couldn’t put myself through that loss. Mr. Virgo and I put our seventeen-year-old Yorkie-Maltese mix down just three months before Mr. Virgo himself died suddenly. We had had Cricket cremated and were going to spread her ashes in the flower garden in the spring. When Mr. Virgo died, I just put that little box of ashes in the casket with him and swore I’d never have another dog. My heart aches for those who lose their beloved fur babies.
\nWith the nature of grief being so unpredictable, sometimes you literally feel as though you are just one crisis away from losing it entirely. I cannot tell you how many times I have been in the throes of grief, and the accompanying anxiety, and I have felt like I just couldn’t handle one more thing. As a matter of fact, the FEAR of having one more thing happen actually escalated everything. I have an arsenal of coping strategies at my disposal, but sometimes the slope is too steep and the boulder gains too much momentum too fast. There were so many nights when it all got away from me and all I could do was cling to God and pray for morning. If I can get a hold of the wave early enough, the best thing I can do is get out of the situation I’m in. It usually hits me when I’m in bed, so I get up and do something…scrub the kitchen floor, clean out the fridge, run the vacuum.
\nAnother thing that will stop things from spinning out of control for me is writing. There have been countless times I’ve sat down to write my post while I’m feeling the waves of grief and anxiety come over me. As I write, I can literally feel the stress, fear, and anxiety fade…sometimes melting away entirely. I can’t stress enough how much writing can help you through grief. You don’t have to have a blog. Get a journal and write in it every night. I not only wrote this blog, but I filled several personal journals through the first two or three years after Mr. Virgo died. Writing saved me. TOW-Wanda saved me. God saved me. ❤️
\n““This is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says: ‘Write in a book all the words I have spoken to you.”\nJeremiah 30:2 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2018-01-12T02:30:57-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/01/12/here-comes-the-rain.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","God","Peace","Wisdom","Presence"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/01/11/the-bent-reed.html", "title": "The Bent Reed", "content_html": "![\"The](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/f05a2a3740.jpg\")
“The Bent Reed” by Ginny McKinney
A lot of people are struggling right now. I don’t know what it is about January. Sure, there’s the let down after the holidays. There’s the long, dark nights. There’s the bitterly cold, grey days. But there’s more than that. There’s a lot of loss.
\nI have friends who are dealing with very serious health issues…either of their own or members of their immediate family. I get prayer requests daily…from multiple people. Disasters, accidents, illness, death. Add this on top of the usual slump of January and it can send you down in a spiral in a hurry.
\nI was reminded of this beautiful verse the other day. I wish I would have had it written down so I could have carried it with me in those first long dark winter months without Mr. Virgo. I know it would have helped. As with all things, it has come to me now…when it means the most. When I need it the most. When I need to share it. God always provides.
\nMy mom died after a brief illness of five days in January 2014. My cousin’s husband a year later at 50. My sweet Uncle Bob the next January. January is just not a good month…for me and for a lot of other people.
\nI bought a new computer the other day. When I was setting it up this week, I noticed a bunch of photos had come down out of the cloud. I hadn’t seen them in a long time, since my computer has been on the fritz for a while. I was scrolling through when my screen was filled with…Mr. Virgo…in his casket. A friend took the picture for me. At first, I thought it was macabre. Then I realized I needed to have that. For a long time it was the only thing that would allow me to cry. I needed to get that out. But somewhere along the line, the pictures from the funeral home made their way up into the cloud and I didn’t see them again. Till this week. It was like getting sucker punched when that popped up, filling my screen with a vision so painful you can feel it in your bones.
\nYes, a lot of people are struggling. Debbie’s husband Toby is in the hospital. Sue’s friend had a biopsy today. Lynn’s family is struggling. Diane lost both her parents and her father-in-law in Januarys along the way and her best friend just lost his dad. The world seems to be reeling under forces whipping it into a frenzy. So, again…I am reminded of this verse.
\nGod will not break a bent reed. He will not snuff out a smoldering flame. When you are at your weakest point, God is still strong. The same God that gave his Son. The same God that walked on water and rose the dead and healed blind men. The same God that breathed life into this world lives today. And He knocks. And He waits. He is a patient, polite God. He will not impose himself. He will not barge in on you. He waits for you to open the door. Opening that door is what has made it possible for me to keep breathing, to keep walking forward through every storm…through every season. I was only bent. ❤️
\n“A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out…”\nIsaiah 42:3 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-01-11T02:30:39-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/01/11/the-bent-reed.html", "tags": ["Faith","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Presence"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/01/08/old-friends.html", "title": "Old Friends", "content_html": "
![\"Namaste\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/12d73a44d0.jpg\")
\nOur babies were just wee ones when we met. We were taking a sewing class together which really turned out to be twice a week therapy for busy moms to vent and create something beautiful. Sue took my breath away. Tall and slender with that long, thick, full-bodied hair those of us with baby fine strands drool over, she embodied the earth mother I so desperately wanted to be. We became fast friends. We got together and had tea. We hiked. We stitched and b****ed our way through our children’s youth. We were soccer moms. And, even though we were several years apart in age, we had so much in common.
\nSue is one of those friends you may not speak to more than once or twice a year. But when you do, you feel this incredible soul connection and time disappears. We pass each other on Facebook. We give each other virtual hugs and atta girls. We know we are never more than a message or a text or a phone call away.
\nSue moved away from Glenwood Springs a couple of years before that cataclysmic event…the overdose…and my world changed dramatically. She was so worried about me. She was supportive and listened and offered me unconditional love. There was a long stretch of time when we didn’t get to see each other. She was at our wedding. Then Mr. Virgo died and she couldn’t come to the funeral. When I went on my three month journey into the wilderness and backroads of Colorado, Sue invited me to her little “ranchita” down near the Four Corners area. She had ten acres overlooking Mesa Verde. She had a labyrinth she had designed and built. By this time, she was an accomplished yogi.
\nThe day I arrived at her place near Dolores, Sue came running out of the house and grabbed me. She hugged me tight then pulled back and looked me in the eyes.
\n“You said you were doing ok…but I had to see for myself. I wouldn’t know for sure till I squeezed you!” Then she drew me in for another hug.
\nSue ministers to you with softness, compassion. She settled me in the rocking chair by the big picture window. She brought me tea. She sat with me and we rocked…the comforting quiet hanging between us like a well worn quilt as we watched the birds at the immense feeder just beyond the glass. We drove to Silverton one day to be at the finish line of a mountain bike race. I was terribly anxious the night before. I had a really hard time with anxiety the first year or two after Mr. Virgo died. Sue sat with me for hours into the night as I cried and threw up and was generally a horrible mess. She’s that friend…the one who loves you when you’re really messy. She is the one who kicked me in the butt and made me write my book. She said…”Write it now while there is pain in your heart. We will feel it. If you try to write it after you heal, you will lose that voice.” She is so right. I love her dearly.
\nIt’s a new year…time for us to reconnect. Sue and I talked for two hours and twenty-two minutes last night. We discussed all the changes in our lives…all the changes to come. And we decided to plan a yoga retreat. We’ll have yoga sessions as well as talks…nutrition, self-care, grief, art, music, writing. I have a picture in my mind of what I want it to look like. I’ll let you know as we formulate a plan and I’d love you to come!
\nLife is full of interesting twists and turns, isn’t it? My word this year is “presence”. By being present, I will flow through life more awake, more open, more prepared to embrace challenges. Retreats have been a HUGE dream of mine. Time to start letting that dream out to play! ❤️
\n“gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”\nGalatians 5:23 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-01-08T02:30:25-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/01/08/old-friends.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","New Ideas","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Humbled","Presence"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/01/07/epiphany.html", "title": "Epiphany", "content_html": "
![\"“Epiphany”](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/124531bb4f.jpg\")
\nEpiphany
\nEpiphany; noun: plural noun: epiphanies
\nA) the manifestation of Christ to the Gentiles as represented by the Magi (Matthew 2:1–12).
\nB) the festival commemorating the Epiphany on January 6.
\nC) a manifestation of a divine or supernatural being.
\nD) a moment of sudden revelation or insight.
\nYesterday was Epiphany. Traditionally, it marks the end of the Christmas Season. The day the Three Wise Men visited the baby Jesus and bestowed their gifts to Him.
\nEpiphany also means a sudden revelation, insight, and/or appearance of a supernatural being. Eighteen years ago, I experienced epiphany on many, many levels. I was seven years into a devastating depression…one I could see no way out of. I was over prescribed medications by a medical community that my husband at the time belonged to. I was a doctor’s wife. I had WAY too ready access to medications I had no business being on because a referral pattern is a terrible thing to waste. Doctors hate to take care of other doctor’s family. It puts a lot of pressure on them to go above and beyond…to be exemplary…to have a positive outcome, no matter what. Unfortunately for me, that meant seven years of medications that made me a zombie. Add a psychiatrist who told me at every visit, that this was just the way I was…I would need to take these medicines every day for the rest of my life…that I had a chemical imbalance in my brain. I lost my 40’s…literally. My marriage was irreparably damaged. December of 1999 found me struggling. My 20th Anniversary came and my husband told me he wasn’t in love with me anymore. I was devastated. I couldn’t see how I could possibly live without him. I circled the drain and on January 6, 2000…I overdosed on two full bottles of pills and I very easily could have died.
\nAs they worked on me in the emergency room…these doctors and nurses with whom my husband and I socialized…I “faded”. My vision became a tunnel. My hearing damped down till it sounded like I had tin cans over my ears. I didn’t see a great white light like some talk about when they have a near-death experience. I’ve drawn it here, as close as I can. It was this incredibly beautiful disc of cobalt blue with golden rays of light radiating from it all around like an eclipse. It was ethereal and sparkly and incredibly peaceful.
\nAs I stood in this immense ocean of blue light, my hearing left me and there was no sound. Dead air. Nothing. And suddenly, my grandma’s voice cut through the silence and straight into my left ear, as if she were standing beside me and bent down to speak directly to me. She shouted at me!
\n“Young lady…you get back down there right now! You have work to do!!!”
\nImmediately, my eyes flew open wide and I was in the ER, lying on a gurney, the overhead light shining in my eyes. I squinted at the glare and the sudden rush of noise. I rolled up on my side and threw up violently. After a while, I turned on my back. A nurse was leaning over me…a look of sincere concern on her face. I burst into tears when I realized what had happened. I kept crying, “I’m so ashamed, I’m so ashamed, I’m so ashamed.” She wrapped her arms around me and pulled me close to her and whispered in my ear, “You have nothing to be ashamed of. You’ve been sick. You’re going to be ok.”
\nI was at the bottom of the barrel in that moment and I had to begin a very long climb back. It took a great deal of intense therapy to convince me the other doctor was wrong and I really didn’t have a chemical imbalance in my brain. It took a full three years to wean off the medications he had me on. My marriage was over. I nearly lost my relationship with my kids. It took a huge amount of work, strength, and determination to rebuild my life.
\nI think that experience actually gave me tools to help me cope with losing Mr. Virgo years later. I survived that horrible ordeal. I surely could survive this one. I’ll survive the next. It’s fitting that the overdose occurred on Epiphany. The symbolic ending. The supernatural appearance of my grandma’s disembodied voice…nine months after her death. The moment of sudden revelation and insight that I had gone as far away from where God wanted me to be as I could possibly go.
\nI look back on those years with a sadness that I lost so much. I look back on that night with the absolute conviction that God sent the one person I would listen to…my grandma. I believe with all my heart that God saved me that night because He wasn’t done with me. He still had work for me to do. And, I also believe I could not have done any of this work if I had never had those seven years of walking through hell…if I had never had that devastating overdose…if I had not nearly lost everything.
\nThose of you who have been following me for a long time have probably heard this story before because I consider January 6th my “Re-Birth Day” in a literal sense. My second chance. My do-over. And for those of you new enough that you haven’t heard it yet, it might give you a sense of where I’ve been, even before the devastating loss of Mr. Virgo. We all have struggles in life. And, so far, I’ve survived all of them 100% of the time. For a long time, I was embarrassed by this story. Depression. Anxiety. Drugs. Dysfunction. Once I became a Christian, I realized God can use me to help others in similar circumstances. If I shine His Light into every dark corner of my life and show that Light to you, then I am doing what He put me on this earth to do. I’m at peace with that part of my life now. It doesn’t embarrass me. I am not ashamed. I am strengthened by a God that wouldn’t let ME decide it was time to go. I am immensely grateful for the opportunities I’ve been given…a chance to rebuild broken relationships…a chance at great love, not just once, but twice. I’ve lost much…but I’ve gained so much more. ❤️
\n““Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord rises upon you.”\nIsaiah 60:1 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2018-01-07T02:30:01-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/01/07/epiphany.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Humbled","Presence","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/01/06/greater-is-the-one.html", "title": "Greater is the One", "content_html": "![\"Earth](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/85de1a59c8.jpg\")
\nThe nature of my writing has grown with the changes I have gone through on my grief journey. Early on, it was so incredibly painful to even try to put words together to express my pain. I understood for the first time how God could hear our prayers when all we can manage are groans. Once the words started, it was like releasing a torrent. My pain literally fell onto the pages and it was emotionally exhausting…for me, and for you as well. The release was cathartic. The more I let it go, the more my heart healed.
\nNot everyone has a blog where they can release the pent up pain, anger, frustration, confusion that comes with grief. I am blessed with this venue and I don’t take any of you for granted. Your feedback and support has been so incredibly healing for me. I am blessed with family and friends who were supportive during the early months of my grief. The day Mr. Virgo died and I called my daughters, they dropped what they were doing and jumped in their cars to begin the long drive to be with me. They stayed by my side. They answered the phone for me. They made important calls. They took me everywhere I needed to go. Daughter #1 slept with me every night with her arm across my chest to protect me, to calm me, to reassure me I was not alone.
\nPeople gathered and surrounded me with love and support and food. My daughters and I bought every funny DVD we could find and tried to find someplace to land besides terror and pain. My friends held me in silence…the same friends who dressed me for my wedding and placed the flowers all around. Here they were…nearly six years to the day…doing the only thing they could do. After we lay Mr. Virgo in the ground, we gathered at our home…my home. I went straight to the humidor and got the expensive cigar he was saving for golf in the summer. I grabbed the bottle of Courvoisier I had used for Mr. Virgo’s favorite fruitcake. And I gathered the men…and my younger daughter. She was particularly close to her stepdad. We went to the front porch and smoked the cigar, and passed the bottle around till it was gone. We told manly stories of golf and travel, hotels and restaurants…all things Mr. Virgo.
\nAfter everyone left, the family gathered me up and took me to a restaurant to entice me to eat. I hadn’t had much of anything but coffee for days. It was the day before St. Patrick’s Day…a fine day to be buried, Mr. Virgo would have said. My daughters needed to get back to Denver. Daughter #1 offered to stay longer if I needed her. And while I did…desperately…I said no. I knew she needed to get back to her own family…her own life. And so, just like that, they were gone. And the house became quiet.
\nI stayed home alone for a week. I had paperwork to do and some things to wrap up at work. I packed a bag, stopped my mail, and headed to Denver to be near the kids. My son-in-law’s parents kept me at their home. I don’t remember the first week I was there…except that I didn’t get dressed for a week and only occasionally ventured out of the room for a little food. I slept much of the time. Finally, I started to join the land of the living again.
\nSlowly…ever so slowly…I moved forward. Days became weeks and week, months. The firsts started…my first birthday without him, his birthday, the holidays. Our wedding anniversary was just three weeks after he died. People called to see how I was doing. They sent cards and texts and checked in with me on Facebook. One of my daughter’s friends from high school contacted me every week for the first year. And eventually…they all moved on. It was inevitable. They can’t stay forever. They can’t stop their lives forever.
\nAt first, I was really put out. I still needed to vent. I still needed to cry. I needed to tell every story, a hundred times. I needed so much. I needed more than they could ever give. I have to say, I never felt completely abandoned. I am blessed to have the most fabulous people in my life who would listen to me even today if I called and cried. However…I did feel “like a burden”, as one of my readers put it. I didn’t want to unload on them all the time. Somehow, I managed to reach that tipping point where I realized I needed to start managing this pain on my own. That was a really lonely stretch. I was pretty sure I wouldn’t have to sit in that “waiting room” (as my friend Christina Rasmussen calls it in her book, Second Firsts) forever, but I had no idea how long I’d be in this social limbo. I wanted to stay alone forever AND I wanted to be with people. I wanted to be invited out AND I wanted to never talk to another soul. I wanted to feel normal AND I didn’t want to feel anything. Oh….grief is crazy making.
\nI had to have something to hang onto…something, someONE, who would anchor me and keep me from flying off the face of the earth. Even though I had been a Christian for seven years, I only attended church sporadically. One Sunday morning, many months after Mr. Virgo died, I decided I needed to talk to someone who never tired of hearing my cries. Someone who would give and give and give…no matter how much I needed. Who would love me no matter how messy or messed up I got. I went back to church…and I’ve been going ever since.
\nAs much as people want to help…they are people. They are fallible. They can say the wrong things. They can feel overwhelmed by your pain. They can burn out from your grief. But God? God never gets tired of hearing from you. God never gets tired of comforting you. He never gets tired of holding you close. Greater is the one who lives within me than the one who lives in the world. God is the one…the only one who will always, always love you. Even when you cry that horrible snot-slinging cry that no one needs to see. Even when you are so anxious you stay up puking all night. Even when your life seems not worth living. The only way you can lose is to give up. Don’t give up. Don’t ever give up. Because joy comes again. It sneaks in the cracks of your broken heart when you least expect it. Not all at once…just a little tiny bit at a time. But it comes, dear one. Hang on…it comes. ❤️
\n“You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.”\n1 John 4:4 NIV
\n#God, #Love, #Light
\n", "date_published": "2018-01-06T02:30:38-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/01/06/greater-is-the-one.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Presence"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/01/05/deep-freeze.html", "title": "Deep Freeze", "content_html": "![\"Winter](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/da965fc8ab.jpg\")
Winter Dawn by Ginny McKinney
As most of the country settles in for a rough ride on the Snowball Express, I am sitting here snug as a bug in a rug at Mr. FixIt’s house. I’ve taken to listening to praise music as I write my posts. I’ve changed things up and started writing during the day instead of late at night. I thought it might give me a different perspective and add a new dimension to the blog. The praise music not only keeps my heart in the right place, it inspires me to write about a scripture instead of the other way around. All this time I have written my post then I’d go look for an appropriate scripture that illustrated what my thinking was. That’s a much more time consuming process.
\nI downloaded an app on my phone called Moment. It tracks my screen time and frankly, I was appalled when I saw how much time I spend staring at a screen. Granted, it’s not all mindless surfing or game playing. A good portion of it is spent writing these posts. Now, that in itself is not a bad thing by any means. It’s just that…I have this really sweet guy that would probably enjoy a little more attention and a little less screen time. So, I’m trying a few new things…new tactics to shave a little time off the screen and a little more looking into those baby blues that look so adoringly into mine. Win-Win, right?
\nAnother thing I’m going to try is, at least on occasion, including my drawings as the cover photo for my posts. This gives me the opportunity to practice…not only the drawings themselves, but the opportunity to be bold in sharing them. We all need opportunities to be bold.
\nSo, here I sit…snuggled on the sofa under that beautiful blue fox fur blanket. A fresh latte. Kari Jobe. A fire. Snow softly falling. My tree will remain to bring me light and peace well into the new year. I have the promise of a meteor shower and a blue moon to look forward to this month. The year is fresh with hope and promise. And I have this really cool Apple Pencil and Procreate…the world is at my fingertips! My heart is full, even in the depths of this bitter cold. Stay warm, my friends. ❤️
\n“Out of the south cometh the whirlwind: and cold out of the north.”\nJob 37:9 KJV
\n", "date_published": "2018-01-05T02:30:21-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/01/05/deep-freeze.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Presence"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/01/04/on-being-brave.html", "title": "On Being Brave", "content_html": "![\"Drawing](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/7a66419c9c.jpg\")
\nI step out…WAY out of my comfort zone here sometimes. I believe in pushing boundaries in order to grow. It has made me a stronger, more well-rounded person to stretch since Mr. Virgo died.
\nI’ve always been creative. I can draw and paint landscapes, flowers, houses and do a pretty fair rendition. But people and animals…faces…elude me. I never get the proportion right. I’m heavy handed. There is no “life” in them.
\nWhen my iPad died at the beginning of the year and I bought a new one, there was this white pencil lying next to it. I asked the salesman what it was and he told me it was a new tool to draw with. He showed me a program called Procreate and he could turn the pencil into a paintbrush loaded with oils or a big, fat pastel or a fine technical pencil. Anything…this thing can be anything! It was magic to me and I HAD to have it. Have it, I did. I knew I wouldn’t have time to really use it until the long dark nights of winter so I’ve been anxiously waiting to play with it.
\nI have no idea why on earth I would start with a face. I did a study on eyes. I did a quick sketch that vaguely resembled Mr. FixIt. Then I put on my headphones, turned on the Kari Jobe station on Amazon Music and closed my eyes. I thought of Jesus as I listened to the praise music and pictured His face. Then I started to draw. I tried to “get out of the way” and let my hand draw what I saw in my mind. I enjoyed watching it take shape. It’s amateurish, to say the least. And (here’s where I’m stepping out of my comfort zone) I’m sharing it with you here.
\nI’m much better at painting a picture with words. I’m much better at making a quilt or stitching a sampler or knitting a pair of socks. I’m much better at making jewelry out of old silverware or antique maps. A long time ago, I tried my hand at writing and I listened to the wrong people. They told me my writing wasn’t publishable. That it really wasn’t good. And I believed that, so I stopped trying. This drawing of Jesus may not be very good…but nothing anyone ever says to me will ever make me stop trying again. No matter what it is I’m trying to do.
\nIt doesn’t matter what the end product looks like. It doesn’t matter if a piece of art is gallery worthy. It doesn’t matter if you can’t carry a tune in a washtub. It doesn’t matter if your words aren’t Pulitzer Prize material. What matters is one thing…does it give you joy? If it does…do that! Don’t worry about what others might think. Don’t worry about being judged. Just do what brings you joy!
\nI’ll keep drawing. Who knows? My writing has improved over the years. Maybe the drawing will, too. But honestly? It’s a form of meditation for me…no matter how it looks. Be brave and stretch! ❤️
\n““Now get up, Ezra. Take charge—we’re behind you. Don’t back down.””\nEzra 10:4 MSG
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-01-04T02:30:08-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/01/04/on-being-brave.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Fun","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Wisdom","Humbled","Presence","Writing"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/01/03/surviving-the-climb.html", "title": "Surviving the Climb", "content_html": "
![\"Survive](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/0d8bc3b756.jpg\")
\nOccasionally I get a comment on my blog from someone so fresh on this grief journey that they are lost. They don’t know where to turn or what to do next. They are obviously in a great deal of pain and my heart breaks for them because…I know. I’ve been there. Many of us have. I respond to every single comment on my blog. Most often it’s with a ❤️, just to let you know I have seen your comment. Occasionally, I write something back. On this particular occasion, I wrote a whole essay as my response. After giving it some thought, I decided it was time again to revisit “How do you survive this?”
\nMy reader lost her husband unexpectedly in early November. He was minding his own business, driving to work, when he was struck head-on by an impaired driver and was killed. Her world was shattered. The future she had planned with her husband was gone. To add insult to injury, her husband’s death was followed in rapid succession by Thanksgiving, his birthday, an important graduation, Christmas, and New Years. All without him. Her question? How do you cope with this?
\nHere is my response:
\nFirst, let me tell you my heart is with you, dear one. You are SO fresh on this journey and it’s so difficult. Having all those firsts, one after another when the ink is hardly dry must be unbearable. I can’t tell you how to grieve because it’s such a personal thing. I can tell you how I dealt with things and hopefully it will help you as well. If you haven’t yet, do go to Marshmallow Ranch on Facebook and see if you can scroll back to the early days of my blog. You will find much more relatable material there. I started the blog in January 2013 as a way to promote jewelry I was making. Then Mr. Virgo died in March. That’s when the blog morphed into an online grief journal. I know that’s a lot of material to sort through, but it just might help.
\nAt your stage of this journey, let me say this…there is no rule book. But here’s a list of ways to cope.
\nDon’t let anyone say you should do it this way or you shouldn’t do it that way. Do it your way.
\nYou will make mistakes. Don’t be too hard on yourself when you do.
\nBe careful…extra careful with your money.
\nGet plenty of rest, eat right, and exercise as you can.
\nAvoid drugs and alcohol…they are nothing but bandaids that put off the hurt. That goes for new relationships. I know, I know. I thought that was crazy too till I got involved with someone just five months after my beloved died. I just wanted the pain to go away but when I pulled that bandage off, dear God…it was worse.
\nFeel your feelings. Cry when you need to. Laugh when you can.
\nThere’s an actual condition called grief brain. You can’t remember squat and it may be scary as the dickens. Don’t worry…it does get better in time. You never go back to baseline, but you do get better.
\nYou won’t be in this fog forever and eventually you will feel joy. Don’t feel guilty for that.
\nI found the services of a grief counselor to be extremely helpful. I had PTSD from watching the CPR for hours so I had EMDR treatments which helped immensely.
\nRemember…you don’t “get over” this…you get through it. But, you will never be the same. Let me repeat that…you will never be the same. Don’t even try to find the old you. She is gone. Once a pickle, always a pickle…you don’t get to go back to being a fresh little cucumber again. Whether you become a sour or sweet pickle is largely up to you. Do NOT give up hope of finding a good life, though. You can…and you will…with determination and perseverance.
\nI realized early on that he died, I did not. I owed it to his memory to live…actually LIVE the days my husband was not given. Since we were looking at campers when he died, I went out and bought one and joined Sisters on the Fly…a women’s adventure group. I also belong to Girl Campers. These are all empowering groups that helped me become brave and strong.
\nOne last word of caution. It’s ok to mattress surf once in a while but don’t live there. Get up every day, splash water on your face, brush your teeth, and get dressed. Make your bed. You’re not as likely to climb back in it if it’s made. Scrub your kitchen sink. A clean sink sets the tone for the day in my book. Even if you just move from the bed to the couch…you’ve moved. Keep moving. One step, two steps. Eventually you will be able to take a deep breath again. (Oh, that’s also a thing. Physiologically, grief causes you to sigh a lot which makes you try to take deep breaths and it’s difficult. You almost feel like you can’t get a deep enough breath. Unless you are passing out or have chest pain or prolonged irregular heartbeat or cold, clammy sweat, its nothing to be worried about. Always ask your healthcare professional if you are concerned about your health. However…this sensation disappears after some time.)
\nTincture of time. That’s how I dealt with the loss of my husband. Move forward…and pray, a lot. You may not feel Him there, but God is with your every step. He holds you in the palm of His hand and He weeps for your pain. Let Him wrap His feathers around you and take your rest there. Come back here anytime you need some support. You may send me private messages at any time and I will get back to you as soon as I can. Prayers for comfort and strength, dear one. This is a club we didn’t ask to join. You will learn how to perform magic like tap dancing around that husband-sized hole in your heart without falling in…every…damn…time.
\nGrief comes in waves. At first it knocks you down. Eventually you learn to expect the waves and you can lean in and keep your footing without drowning. It’s almost five years since my loss and I have built a new life. I have expanded my social circle and have learned many new skills. And…much to my amazement…I have found love again and it is so sweet and rich. Mostly because now I have a thorough understanding of just what I lost and how incredibly precious life and love are.
\nWe all know someone who suffers a loss. We don’t always know how to help or what to say. May I suggest bookmarking this page and share it when appropriate? Share it with everyone you know because someone knows someone who is hurting. Let’s make this the year we reach out to widows and widowers and offer them whatever comfort and support we can. ❤️
\n“Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God.”\nHebrews 13:16 ESV
\n", "date_published": "2018-01-03T02:30:36-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/01/03/surviving-the-climb.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Humbled","Presence","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/01/02/ramona-and-her-pet-burro.html", "title": "“Ramona and Her Pet Burro, Bob” or “How My Memory Has Changed Since Mr. Virgo Died”", "content_html": "![\"Country](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/beb770d8d2.jpg\")
\nWe went to the farm yesterday. On our way there, Mr. Fixit pointed out the two little burros huddling in a shed, trying to keep warm in the frigid 9 degree air. Seeing the little burros, my mind immediately went soaring back forty years to one of the favorite periods of my life. When I met Hubby #2, he was a Physical Therapist who worked across the hall from me. I was the X-Ray Tech for a small rehabilitation hospital in downtown Denver. He was also finishing some pre-med classes at CU Boulder in preparation for applying to medical school. We were young and in love and poor as church mice. Daughter #1 was three years old. We had no money so we were adept at finding activities that were free, or nearly so. It was cool to be poor struggling students.
\nIt was the late ‘70s. Trivial Pursuit was HOT and we played it a lot. H#2 told me about the Trivia Bowl that was held annually at UC Boulder. It was free, it was close, and it was fun. It was held in a large room. Two teams sat at tables on a makeshift stage and the audience stood shoulder to shoulder around a packed room…a rowdy crowd. I don’t remember a lot about that night. After all, it was forty years ago. But I do remember one team was called “Ramona and Her Pet Burro, Bob”. How could you forget that, right? I also remember one of the questions was,…”What were the tail numbers on Sky King’s plane?” What??? I knew I was witnessing trivia royalty when one young student slammed his hand down on the buzzer in a fraction of a second and shouted out…”N5348A!” You’re kidding! Ok, I Googled it just now…but I was in awe back then. Who remembers stuff like that?
\nMy memory isn’t what it used to be. You don’t get to Medicare age without losing a little something. It’s been made worse by grief and the head injury I suffered in February didn’t help matters. I’ll bet memory loss…or, “grief brain”…is the subject I address most often with those who have recently lost a loved one. I remember I thought I was going crazy or something was wrong with me when I couldn’t keep track of anything in the first couple of years after losing Mr. Virgo. I made lists and then couldn’t remember where I put them. Or my notes seemed cryptic and made no sense when I revisited them. It was a scary time. Will my memory come back? Will it get worse? What is wrong with me?
\nI don’t remember who told me about grief brain (see???) but I do very much recall the overwhelming sense of relief I felt knowing it wasn’t just me. That’s when I knew for sure I needed to write this blog. Because not everyone has someone to mentor them and while I wasn’t far enough along to actually BE a mentor, I could share what I was learning and feeling along the way. One of the greatest gifts you are given from grief comes when you turn around and offer a hand to someone who is further back the road than you are. It is the price we pay for the grace we receive during our own grief journey.
\nMemory…its a slippery sucker. I still will get a brilliant flash of an idea for a post that I just know will resonate with someone…and if I don’t write it down, or make some sort of correlation in my mind to remember it later, it’s gone. That is probably the single most frustrating thing I face when I write. I still have a hard time making myself write down ideas because I swear I’ll be able to remember. It’s aggravating. The tool that helps me most is the “Note” app on my phone. I can jot ideas down and when I hit a lean period and have trouble coming up with a topic, I go into my list and find something that is currently applicable. It’s not like it used to be. It never will be. But it works for the most part.
\nJust knowing you aren’t alone in this is often all you need to relax into the flow and be present with your feelings. No matter how difficult your struggle, God is always there with you whether you feel Him or not. Knowing that can bring enormous comfort. ❤️
\n“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.””\nJoshua 1:9 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2018-01-02T02:30:57-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/01/02/ramona-and-her-pet-burro.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Hope","West Virginia","The Farm","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","God","Peace","Wisdom","Presence"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2018/01/01/out-with-the-oldin-with.html", "title": "Out With the Old...In With the New!!!", "content_html": "
![\"Happy](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/6358b13262.jpg\")
\nI love when the calendar turns to a new year. The slate is wiped clean and you can start fresh…a great big do over. Never was this more impactful to me personally than January 1, 2014. It was the first New Year’s Day after losing Mr. Virgo. Somehow, I had it in my head that if I could just say “My husband died last year” it would somehow make the loss easier. It didn’t. Not by a long shot.
\nI had, in my crazed grief-stricken brain, thought it would be a good idea to start dating someone…just five months after my sweet husband died. Holy Mother of God…what was I thinking??? In my defense…I wasn’t thinking. That first year…well, really the first two years…I wasn’t sane. Not in a conventional definition of the word anyway. I did some things right, but my thinking was just off. My decision making skills were lacking. Thank God time and lots of prayer and introspection have brought me to this new place…this new life.
\nNow when I look at the New Year, I contemplate where I’ve been, what I’ve done, and formulate new goals. I don’t make resolutions. I’ve never kept a resolution in my life. But I do come up with a focus word. The word for 2017 was “Reach”. I think I lived up to that. I launched a new website. I spoke to several groups. I was interviewed on several podcasts and publications. I had a branded series developed for me called “Getting Bolder” on the Sisters on the Fly website. I continued to write an essay every day here. I traveled to Florida twice, the Outer Banks, Tennessee, and Colorado. I camped and/or had outings with the Girl Campers and Sisters on the Fly several times. I continued working on my social media platform to improve my chances of selling this book I’ve got basically written. And…I introduced you to Mr. FixIt. It’s been a really big year and I reached about as far as I could!
\nSo, now I need a new word for the new year. There are so many things I want to practice in the coming year. Patience. I am not a patient person. Compassion. I try, but I am not always successful practicing compassion with people who try my patience. Love. I want to feel my Heavenly Father’s love and involvement in everything I do so that I might feel that same love toward everyone…including those to whom I want to show compassion because they have tried my patience. You see where I’m going with this? You might think I’m going to choose the word “Patience” to meditate on this year, but you’d be wrong. I learned a long time ago not to pray for patience because when I do, God gives me every single little opportunity to practice it and I just don’t have it in me to be that challenged anymore. No, I have a different word in mind.
\nMy choice? Presence.
\nIf I am present in all I do, I am here to show up and do what is needed. If I am present…I feel God’s love. If I am present…I can actively choose to love others as Jesus loves me. If I feel God’s love, and actively choose to love others the way Jesus loves me, in every interaction I have…everything gets better. My relationships with family and friends are bound to improve. My interactions with others…even complete strangers…can only improve when I exemplify the kind of love Jesus has for me.
\nHow do you remain present in today’s hectic world? To achieve the kind of presence I am looking for, I need to start every day with a connection to the Source. I need to reach for His Word first…before Facebook. Before the news and weather. Even before Mr. FixIt. It doesn’t take much. Five minutes. Five minutes first thing every morning, before anything else, I will seek His face and feel His love for me. I will invite Him to come into my day…into my world…and walk with me. It’s no different than asking any other loved one to go for a walk with me. But the benefits are undeniably higher.
\nThat’s my word. Presence. Feel every moment. Focus on God’s love. Bring His Love and Light into every aspect of my life. I can’t help but shine! ❤️
\n“After looking at the way things are on this earth, here’s what I’ve decided is the best way to live: Take care of yourself, have a good time, and make the most of whatever job you have for as long as God gives you life. And that’s about it. That’s the human lot. Yes, we should make the most of what God gives, both the bounty and the capacity to enjoy it, accepting what’s given and delighting in the work. It’s God’s gift! God deals out joy in the present, the now. It’s useless to brood over how long we might live.”\nEcclesiastes 5:18-20 MSG
\n", "date_published": "2018-01-01T02:30:47-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2018/01/01/out-with-the-oldin-with.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Holiday","Wisdom","Presence"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/12/31/true-love-has-no-end.html", "title": "True Love Has No End", "content_html": "![\"Couple](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/3a80f0cb47.jpg\")
\nThey weren’t much more than kids when they met. I remember the first time I met my cousin Tommy’s girlfriend, Suzy. I had such a crush on Tommy in his Navy whites. And Suzy was as sweet as they come. She’s been around as long as I can remember.
\nI’ve told you about Tommy. He has mesothelioma. There is no cure. And up until the last few years, there really wasn’t much to even offer people in the way of treatment. But they did their homework and took Tommy to the doc who wrote the book on Meso and as a result, he has had two really good years he may not have had before.
\nThe treatments Tom has received are not without side effects. The toxic meds have all but killed his kidneys. They have exhausted treatment after treatment yet, thanks to generous donations and scientific breakthroughs, more and more treatments become available. Maybe someday, they will find a cure. Because…you know. Cancer sucks.
\nTommy faces his illness and death with a positive attitude and a great deal of courage. They haven’t been afraid to “start the conversation”. They talk about death and his design…how does he want his story to end when he gets to the last chapter. Suzy is brave and strong. Their love knows no bounds as they recently celebrated their 56th wedding anniversary.
\nThis year, Tommy wanted to give his “best girl” a gift that would knock her socks off. He wanted something so deeply meaningful that she would cherish it forever. Their daughter videotaped the moment for posterity. Suzy opened her gift ever so slowly. Indoor/outdoor slippers. (laughter) Then someone points out there’s something inside. Suzy looks closer and there it is…a small box tucked into one slipper.
\n“You stinker,” she gently chided this man she’s known forever.
\nShe goes on to open the second gift when a puzzled look comes across her face. She turns to Tom and says, “For us?” She thought they were a matching set of rings. She looks again and finally can see…they are earrings. Someone off camera says…”Look at the ring.”
\nSuzy is still puzzled then Tommy holds up his left hand and she can see he is no longer wearing his wedding band.
\n“No!” she cried. “No! Not your ring!” You can see she is instantly devastated. Until Tommy bends toward her and shows her that he has had the date of their wedding engraved on the back. At this point, The enormity of this selfless gift suddenly hits Suzy and she puts her face in her hand and cries.
\nThis is a sweet, personal moment between two wonderful people who love each other without limits. No disease…no cancer…not even death will truly separate these two. I asked for permission to share their story here. For one reason, I love them both so much. Second, I wanted to stress the importance of having “the conversation”, and three…I wanted to give you an idea what to do with his/her ring. Earrings made from a ring that has been cut in half would make a wonderful remembrance.
\nWe don’t know the future. It’s not a matter of if, you know. It’s…when. We pray for a cure. We pray for new medicines. We pray for good quality of life. Time. We pray for time. Lots and lots. Oodles of time. We will love our loved ones like it’s our last day on earth…or theirs. And we will hold fast to the tokens of love like there’s no tomorrow. ❤️
\n\n“Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”\nPhilippians 2:4 ESV
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-12-31T02:30:44-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/12/31/true-love-has-no-end.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","West Virginia","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Humbled","Aging"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/12/30/let-me-entertain-you.html", "title": "Let Me Entertain You", "content_html": "
![\"Gluten](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/ba22e3b6b9.jpg\")
\nOne of the all time BEST things about Mr. FixIt is this…he LOVES to have guests over as much as I do. I know it’s hart for you to believe but…I love to talk with people and learn about them and visit and tell stories. We had dinner guests three times this week. What a blessing it is to share a table with friends and family.
\nWe started with an appetizer of baked brie en croute with fig jam. It sounds like something complicated but it wasn’t. I bought it at Sam’s, baked it at 375 for 20 minutes. Done!
\nOur dinner guests brought salad and I served it with hot rolls and an aioli of crushed herbs, salt, pepper, more of that wonderful Chardonnay Garlic infused olive oil drizzled over top, and a small pool of both Mango pulp and Blueberry vinegar. Yummmmm!
\nFor the main course, I roasted two chickens. I did something completely different. I stuffed them with whole garlic cloves, quartered onions, and wedges of lemon. I trussed them up with kitchen twine, rubbed the sling with Chardonnay Garlic Olive Oil and sprinkled them with fresh ground pepper, ground pink Himalayan salt, more garlic, rustic herbs, and crushed rosemary. I placed a parking rack in a roasting pan and baked them at 350 for a little over 2 hours. OMGosh! When I cut into that chicken and the aroma of lemon and garlic hit the air? Wowza! It was awesome.
\nI accompanied the meal with fresh steamed broccoli with mashed potatoes and gravy (Sam’s ready made Yukon Gold Mashed Potatoes and Teay’s Valley Cream gravy made this part of the prep fast and easy.)
\nDessert was homemade Gluten Free Bread Pudding with a dollop of French Vanilla Ice Cream. It was pretty heavenly!
\nServed with a Pinot Noir or my personal favorite, Fré dealcoholized wine, this was a meal fit for royalty. And it really wasn’t that difficult, or expensive, to throw together.
\nHere’s the recipe for the dessert. Bon Appetit!
\nGluten Free Bread Pudding
\n6-8 slices of stale gluten free bread, cubed\n4 eggs\n2 cups milk\n3 tablespoons Splenda blend brown sugar\n1/2 c. Stevia for baking\n1/2 tsp. Cinnamon\n1/4 tsp. Apple Pie Spice\n1 tsp Vanilla\n1/2 tsp salt\n3-4 big handfuls of raisins\nAbout 2/3 c. chopped pecan4 T. butter, melted
\nCube bread and place in prepared baking dish. In this case, I used an 8” iron skillet sprayed with Baker’s Joy.
\nAdd raisins and pecans.
\nMix the rest of the ingredients and pour over bread. Using a fork, press the cubed bread down into the egg mixture to moisten it thoroughly. Drizzle the melted butter over the top. Bake in a preheated 350 degree oven till the top begins to brown and the filling is springy to the touch. Serve warm with ice cream.
\n❤️
\n“Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me.”\nRevelation 3:20 ESV
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-12-30T02:30:39-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/12/30/let-me-entertain-you.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Fun","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/12/29/doing-the-right-thing.html", "title": "Doing the Right Thing", "content_html": "
![\"Writing](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/8a7d408d15.jpg\")
\nI love doTerra products. I especially love their LifePak vitamins and use them, along with a cannabis ointment to control the crippling plantar-palmar psoriasis I got after Mr. Virgo died. When I purchase these vitamins, I get reward points that I can redeem for free oils or other products. I didn’t realize just how many points I had until a couple of weeks ago. So, I had a grand time ordering bunches of stuff!
\nI received a notice in the mail just before Christmas that my box had arrived but it wouldn’t fit in the mailbox. I’m not sure why they didn’t deliver it to the door. We were home and could have received it, but it was during the Christmas rush so I am sure the mail carrier was overwhelmed. I went to the Post Office Tuesday and picked up my package. It was like a late Christmas gift to myself!
\nYesterday, I received three more boxes. In those boxes were three bottles of shampoo and two more Copaiba oils. I looked back at the emailed order confirmation and I had only ordered one shampoo and one Copaiba, among other things. That is when I also noticed that I didn’t receive one of the items on the original order.
\nI contacted customer service via the chat app on doTerra’s website. I spoke with Jakob and explained the situation. He said he would be happy to send out the missing item right away and email me a label to ship back the duplicate items. He offered to award me 10 bonus points for my inconvenience. In the course of the conversation, I told him I could have just kept the extras but that wouldn’t have been the honest thing to do. He came back and said he appreciated customers like me and he was going to add 20 bonus points instead of 10! That is free product in my mailbox…all for being nice.
\nI began this blog five years ago. I have written an essay nearly every day, covering a wide range of topics from my grief at losing Mr. Virgo to camping in the wilderness of Colorado to living on the family farm. I’ve talked about childhood memories, recipes, farm cats, and family. I’ve touched on sensitive subjects like depression, anxiety, sexual abuse, and even came close to the third rail of politics…at least in the sense of trying to get along. I’ve talked about God and my faith and the importance of being good for goodness’ sake. In all that time, I can count on one hand the times I’ve had someone post something negative to me here. Do you know how rare that is in this business? The internet lets the bars down for rudeness because our interactions are not face-to-face. This emboldens some people to bring out the ugly side of humanity.
\nI cannot tell you how much I appreciate you all…every single one of you. You meet me in this space and we have mutual respect and caring. There have been times when I have considered quitting. There have been times when it has become overwhelming and I have had trouble finding my voice. There are times when I feel perhaps I have said everything there is to say. It got better when I reached the point that I could lay down the burden of my grief and I realized I didn’t have to talk, or write, about it all the time. And, every time I’ve thought of stopping, I get feedback from you. Someone says, “You were speaking to me today.” or “This spoke to my heart this morning.” That’s when I realize…I’m not done. God is still using me to deliver the hope and encouragement only He can give. I ask Him for the words. He gives them to me freely. He will tell me if it’s time to quit.
\nSo, I’ll be here every morning as you have your cup of coffee, or every afternoon when you take a break, or every evening when you stop and catch up with what’s been going on with everyone. I pray you find hope and joy and peace here. I hope you see the goodness in my life comes straight from God and it brings you closer to Him. Your “likes” and your “shares” and your comments bring His word to a greater and greater audience. We all spread Light and Hope and Joy when we share Him with others.
\nThank you…for being here, for listening, for loving on me. Thank you for another year’s journey. Thank you for the many, many blessings you bring me. It is an honor to be invited into your hearts and lives every day and I do not take that lightly. Thank you for letting me be…well, ME! I am richly blessed. ❤️
\n“The one who offers thanksgiving as his sacrifice glorifies me; to one who orders his way rightly I will show the salvation of God!"”\nPsalms 50:23 ESV
\n", "date_published": "2017-12-29T02:30:07-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/12/29/doing-the-right-thing.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/12/28/hygge-comfort.html", "title": "Hygge = Comfort", "content_html": "![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/58805cf25d.jpg\")
\nYesterday was a much better day. It still amazes me how quickly things shift for me since losing Mr. Virgo. Yes, it’s been nearly five years since he died. Yes, I am in a wonderful, fulfilling relationship. But am I the same as I was before the loss? No…not by a long shot. Is every aspect of that a bad thing? The loss…yes. The grief has been incredibly difficult. But the peace and personal growth I have grasped between the waves is nothing short of miraculous.
\nI spent some time at the farm, soaking in the quiet winter sounds. Then came here to a quiet house. Mr. FixIt was off running errands so I curled up on the sofa, wrapped in the warmth of my fur throw made from the coat Mr. Virgo gave me our first married Christmas. The fire was going. The tree was lit. The soft scented candle I got for Christmas filled the air with the sweetness of apples and cinnamon. I asked Alexa to play the Zen Garden station on Amazon Music. The sun outside the window glittered on the new fallen snow. A cardinal sang in the brush next to the house. A cup of tea sat at my side. The freedom and peace was palpable.
\nAgain, in my ever hopeful way, I stared out the window…searching the barren landscape for the beauty of winter. It’s difficult for me. I’m a summer girl. I let my eyes move across the the hill to the road and over to the meadow. I love it here. There’s five acres of flat land out there. I let my mind wander to past dreams. I’ve always wanted a place where I could hold retreats for artists, writers, craftspeople. A place where my Sisters and Girl Camper friends could bring their trailers and circle around a campfire. The big pole building out back is the perfect size for barn sales and dances. I let my eyes move on. There’s a pool between the building and the house. I smiled. Pool parties, family gatherings, barbecues. I have plenty of things to look forward to in the coming months.
\nI am also reminded of the term “hygge”. Originating in Scandinavia, the term means “simple, cozy pleasures, gratefulness, focusing on a better quality of life, taking pleasure in the presence in the gentle, an appreciation of the simple things in life, soothing things, a practical way of creating sanctuary, a place to restore and revive in the middle of very real life, evoking feelings of comfort” according to a recent article by Jan Zimmer, (Port Huron, Mich.) of the Times Herald. This will be my focus for the coming months. I will embrace the sunshine when it comes. I will listen for the song of the winter birds. I will sample teas and read and commune with my love. And, I will enjoy this end of the pendulum’s swing while I have it. ❤️
\n“…his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.”\nPsalm 30:5 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-12-28T02:30:42-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/12/28/hygge-comfort.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Grief","Hope","Positive Energy","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Humbled"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/12/27/postholiday-blues-or-just-getting.html", "title": "Post-Holiday Blues or Just Getting Back to Normal?", "content_html": "
![\"Rain](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/c640b6414c.jpg\")
\nIs it the “blues”? Feeling a little depressed after the holidays? Things have you out of sorts? Once the last cookie has been consumed, the last gift unwrapped, the last guest sent off…it can feel like such a let down. Add to that a total disregard for your previously fairly pristine diet and you could be in a sugar crash, gluten-induced, holiday frazzled funk.
\nThat’s where I found myself last night. We had dinner guests. My second cousin and his wife came over to celebrate their 36th wedding anniversary with us. I cooked all day…homemade spaghetti sauce, pasta, and apple dumplings for desert. I have been so super cautious for the last two years and have stayed away from gluten. I find I have more energy, my mood is stable, and my gut is much happier when I keep wheat and sugar out of my diet. Then…Christmas happened. A “just this once” became “that went ok, this won’t hurt” and before I knew it…I was OD-ing on a regular basis with bread, cookies, pie, cake. I knew I was playing with fire, but I couldn’t help myself.
\nI’ve been craving spaghetti all month. The brownies didn’t kill me. The cookies didn’t present too much of an issue. How bad could spaghetti be? Ohhhh, I found out. Spaghetti is about as densely concentrated a source of gluten as you can get and my body finally stood its ground and said , “What the heck do you think you’re doing, lady?! Are you crazy???” My company hadn’t even left before I really began to feel ill…and blue.
\nIt felt like the blues of grief. And, that could be part of it, I’m sure. With the holidays come waves of grief. But I knew I had been pushing the envelope with my wheat and sugar consumption so I did some research. It turns out, according to a study reported in Psychology Today, gluten, wheat, and corn syrup solids can cause anxiety and depression in people with non-celiac gluten sensitivity. Bingo!
\nWhen the holidays settle down, we actually return to our normal state and that can feel like the blues. We often feel the same sort of thing when we return to real life from a fabulous vacation. Add gluten sensitivity to the mix and it’s a sure recipe for feeling yucky. It’s time to start back on my clean and green diet again. I’ve never felt…or looked…better than I do when I’m eating right, exercising, drinking plenty of water, and getting enough rest. It’s more than a New Year’s Resolution. It’s a prescription for leading my best life and enjoying it. ❤️
\n“For day and night your hand was heavy on me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer. Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord.” And you forgave the guilt of my sin.”\nPsalm 32:4-5 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2017-12-27T02:30:21-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/12/27/postholiday-blues-or-just-getting.html", "tags": ["Faith","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Growth","New Ideas","Grace","God","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/12/26/practicing-minimalism.html", "title": "Practicing Minimalism", "content_html": "![\"Opening](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/4ebfd31ac0.jpg\")
\nI’ve had opulent Christmases where opening presents was a long, drawn out affair. And, I’ve had lean Christmases where money was scarce. I’ve seldom had a Christmas where we just intentionally bought each other a small gift so we could do something else…in this case, put new carpet in the family room that we recently painted. I have to tell you, it felt good to not have to worry about shopping, wrapping, paying for, and storing more “stuff” while still having a small token to enjoy.
\nI gave Mr. FixIt a nice weather station that records wind speed and direction, rainfall, temperature and humidity. It’s connected to the WiFi so we can check our weather at home wherever we are through an app on the phone. Kind of fun!
\nI got a much needed cushion for my banker’s chair and a book commemorating the Centennial of our high school. We had a big breakfast, watched movies, and went for a long drive to look at Christmas lights. Perfect!
\nAnd now, Christmas is over for another year. We’ll still have a week of festivities surrounding New Year’s, and then we have that long stretch of cold, grey winter. That’s what does me in. I love the cold and snow…at Christmas. Then I’m ready for March. It’s better now that Mr. FixIt is in the picture. He brings a welcome distraction. I remember the first winter or two after Mr. Virgo died were absolutely miserably long! I think Christmas lights should be left up till at least the end of February to bring light and joy into the night!
\nWe are planning a lot of activities to pass the time till warm weather returns. Hand therapy will take some time. Dinner parties, crafting weekends with the girls, sewing projects. I want to teach Mr. FixIt’s daughter how to knit. Maybe his granddaughters would like to learn, too. There are projects inside that need doing…stripping wallpaper and painting, replacing the backsplash and countertops in the kitchen, replacing some doors and baseboards. Lots to keep us busy.
\nThis is my new life. I still sometimes sit in awe that I have been blessed with another opportunity to love, another family to cherish, another home to care for. It seems surreal after so much loss, so much pain. I swore I would never do this again. Oh….but, I’m SO glad I did. I wouldn’t have missed this for anything! What a blessing this is! ❤️
\n“Better a little with the fear of the Lord than great wealth with turmoil.”\nProverbs 15:16 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2017-12-26T02:30:08-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/12/26/practicing-minimalism.html", "tags": ["Family","Grief","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Love","Peace","Holiday","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/12/24/santa-is-real.html", "title": "Santa IS Real", "content_html": "![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/d52e8da8f9.jpg\")
\nHe held three beautiful children on his lap that afternoon in the mall. Three shining faces, looking up at him in rapt attention, their eyes glittering in awe. He’d done this many times over the years…listening to the repeated requests for dolls, trucks, maybe a baby brother or sister once in awhile. It never got old with him. He was born to be Santa!
\nAs the children got up one by one and gave the jolly man a hug, they smiled into the camera for that “Christmas Card shot” and he sent them on their way with a candy cane and a wave. He looked around and saw the line had finally thinned and he could take a much needed break. That’s when he saw her.
\nA woman stood alone, a fair distance away, but not so far that he missed her tears. Their eyes met and he held her gaze for a few moments.
\n“What’s this?” he thought. “Something’s up.”
\nThe cocked his head to the side, and without looking away, he moved slightly to his left in the chair, and patted the seat beside him. The woman looked a little startled, as though she might turn and run. But, he softened his shoulders, softened his eyes, and patted again.
\nThe woman gripped the wad of Kleenex in her hand, took a deep breath, and moved cautiously forward. At first, she sat on the stool at his feet with her eyes cast down. She didn’t say a word. He bent forward and whispered.
\n“Please, sit here. Come up here where I can talk to you.”
\nThe woman dutifully got up and moved to the seat beside him. He could tell she was visibly distraught and he didn’t want to rush her. There was no one in the line and the mall had hit the mid afternoon slump.
\nThe woman began to whisper and he had to lean in close to hear her.
\n“I lost my husband.” she said. “I need a new heart.” At this point, she burst into tears. He put his arm around her. He pulled her close in to his side and whispered.
\n“I am so sorry.” There wasn’t much more he could say to that.
\nThe woman struggled and managed to choke out the words. She had lost her husband to a sudden heart attack as they were standing in a travel trailer, picking out one to take them on adventures in retirement. And then he was just gone. She didn’t know how she was going to live without him. It broke his heart.
\nAfter a while, the woman regained her composure and apologized.
\n“Oh, I’m so sorry. I must look a fright!” she said.
\n“You’re perfect.” he whispered as he handed her another Kleenex and they smiled at each other. She got up to leave.
\n“Will you have your picture taken with me?” he asked.
\n“Really? I’d love to.” she replied.
\nAs the “elf” handed her the photo, she looked at it and her lip quivered ever so slightly.
\n“Thank you for stopping.” he said.
\n“Thank you for being real.” she whispered back.
\nIt’s been five Christmases since I met my Santa. Every year, I send him my letter, telling him what I’ve done this year…things I’ve accomplished, things I still need to do. And I thank him. For being so kind to a grieving widow suffering through her very first Christmas without her love. Santa writes back and tells me his life was forever changed that day and he is so happy to see me doing better every year.
\nIt’s going to be a big letter this year! I get to tell him about Mr. FixIt and how much bigger my family is now after adding 12 more people to it…including a new great granddaughter! I get to tell him about our travels and how we got to spend time with my Colorado family this year and how much I miss them at Christmas.
\nI think I taught him a lot that year. I taught him just how difficult it is that first year without your love. The second was probably worse. At least, it was for me. If you are struggling with the loss of your loved one, do be gentle with yourself. This is such a fragile time of year. I’m here to say…with time, prayer, hard work, and perseverance, life can get better again. Joy cometh in the morning, the Bible says. And, it does.
\nOh, and just in case you’re wondering…Santa IS real. And…he is my friend. ❤️
\nDear Santa…
\n“May the Lord repay you for what you have done. May you be richly rewarded by the Lord, the God of Israel, under whose wings you have come to take refuge.””\nRuth 2:12 NIV
\nLove,
\nGinny
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-12-24T02:30:27-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/12/24/santa-is-real.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Peace","Holiday","Wisdom","Humbled","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/12/21/messages-from-beyond.html", "title": "Messages From Beyond", "content_html": "
![\"Misty](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/443fa66a37.jpg\")
\nI first met Sheba Wheeler at a holiday dinner at The Warwick Hotel in downtown Denver. Mr. Virgo was the Food & Beverage Director and had invited me to come down to the restaurant so we could at least see each other that day. Seating was limited so singles were being asked to buddy up at tables. I always enjoy family style seating as I get the opportunity to meet interesting people.
\nSheba and I hit it off from the get go. She was also a writer, working for the Denver Post. She’s a superb photographer and we enjoyed an evening of lively conversation. There was something about Sheba that drew me to her. She seemed exotic and mysterious and as comfortable as an old quilt. She had really great energy and I felt she was special…as in, she had “gifts”.
\nI’ve kept in touch with Sheba all these years and have watched her open up to accepting the gifts she has. She’s had many life changes…a new relationship, a couple flooding disasters that forced her out of her home, the loss of a job she loved. But with every door that closed, another opened.
\nSheba grew up in the church and her faith was instilled in her at an early age by her family. At the same time, she knew she was different. She “saw things”, “felt things”, “heard things”. It turns out, she learned long after her death that her mama had “the gift” too. It happened after she moved in the new house
\nIt wasn’t till she moved into a new home that Sheba got a real taste of what was to come. There was a spirit there. A Victorian woman named Theresa. She “visited” her. Sheba saw her clearly…heard her voice…felt her presence. She called in an investigator who helped her communicate. The investigator became her mentor and told her about her abilities as a medium. Sheba fought it for months till she finally embraced her gift. And once that door was opened, she became quickly overwhelmed with the sudden onslaught of spirits clamoring for her attention.
\nNow, I know what some of you are thinking. “Oh, that’s impossible.” “It’s heresy…evil…black magic.” “It’s demonic.” “It’s not Christian!” Listen, I’m here to tell you…I am a Christian. I love my God and have put my faith in Jesus. AND…there are unexplainable mysteries in life. The first time I saw my grandpa in the garden, leaning on his hoe, wiping his brow and waving…a full two years after he died…I was stunned. My grandma had told me long before that if I ever smelled roses around someone and there were no roses there, it meant someone was going to die. That has literally happened to me. When my aunt learned that these things had happened to me, she taught me to look at the time when I had “feelings” so I could look back later in comparison.
\nI believe Sheba when she says spirits visit her. I have no reason to believe she is mentally ill. I do not believe she is evil. Yet she is attacked weekly by people…mean people…over what many call “the gift”. In 1 Corinthians, Chapter 12, Verse 10 speaks of the Holy Spirit gifting certain people with the ability to “discern spirits”. I believe that’s what Sheba does…she discerns spirits around her.
\nI hadn’t had a chance to chat with Sheba in a long time and she kept popping into my head. I’ve learned to follow through when that happens, so I texted her. We chatted a while. I told her I had been following her posts about her gift. She had met Mr. Virgo. I asked her if he had ever tried to contact her. She said no but she could try from her end. I didn’t hesitate in asking her to do so. She asked for his full name and some bit of information only he and I would know. I gave her his dad’s nickname for him. Now, remember…this is via text. She told me she had never tried this avenue before but she would do her best.
\nI waited a few moments while she gathered her thoughts. Soon she came back…laughing. She said, “He’s here! The first thing he said was….Well, it TOOK you long enough!” You see, Mr. Virgo and I watched all the ghost hunting shows. We downloaded an app on my phone that could detect changes in the electromagnetic field. And, we promised each other that if there was any possible way to reach out and send a message from beyond, we would. I’ve felt his presence. I’ve even heard his voice on one occasion. I’ve had my cards read…not Tarot…just ordinary playing cards. I’ve been told he’s “with” me. I was even told the person was given a mental picture of the two of us, sitting in white wicker chairs on a covered front porch, drinking something out of mugs. That would describe our typical morning having coffee on the front porch. He told her to tell me those were the happiest times of his life, being out there with me. But, this was different. I was asking someone to connect with him directly and let me ask questions and get answers.
\nI asked if he was ok.
\n“Yes.”
\nAre you happy?
\n“Yes, it’s all love and light here.”
\nThen Sheba said, “Wait a minute. He’s really upset. I had to tell him to reel it back a little. It drains my energy too fast.”
\nShe was still for a few moments when she came back and said, “He says he’s sorry. He’s sorry he left you like that. He didn’t mean to.”
\n“I know he didn’t. He doesn’t have to be sorry.”
\n“He’s saying “Nooooooooo…I was supposed to do something!”
\nImmediately, I knew what he was talking about. The doctor had told him five months before he died that he needed a complete cardiac workup. He refused. I think he was saying he should have had the tests done then this wouldn’t have happened. He knew I had forgiven that. But he couldn’t forgive himself.
\n“You need to talk to him, Ginny!” Sheba said. “You need to tell him he needs to forgive himself…that you’re ok…that everything is as it should be, as it was meant to be.”
\nSheba had to get to a meeting and we rang off. I thanked her, and told her I didn’t feel this was a “dark” thing. Then I sat back and talked out loud to Mr. Virgo.
\n“Honey, listen…I know you didn’t mean to leave me. I know you had a strong work ethic and you didn’t think you could take time off during the ski season. And, I know it must be upsetting to know you might have avoided this…for a while. You have to forgive yourself. Let this go. It is what it is. It was hard. It still is, sometimes. But I’m doing well. I’m happy, I’m healthy, the family is great, and I have this wonderful man that loves me like you did. Just let it go now, ok?”
\nThen something extraordinary happened. You know how it feels when you’ve had a pain for a long time and you resign yourself to it and it just seems like it’s normal to feel pain? Then when that pain goes away, it becomes apparent you didn’t realize how MUCH pain you had been in? Well, when I finished saying what I had to say to Mr. Virgo, I felt as though a huge ball of static electricity suddenly released itself in front of my chest. I hadn’t even realized I’d been feeling that till it suddenly released. I texted Sheba back later and told her and we were both amazed.
\nI know it may seem far-fetched. Science fiction. Voodoo. Occult. But this is not at all what I feel…nor is it what I believe. I believe the ways of God are mysterious. So far, there haven’t been any documentaries made with empirical evidence, no footage, no recordings, of what happens when we cross over. I am a Christian, and I am a scientist. I believe in mysteries. And, if this mystery brings me comfort, there is nothing wrong with that. I know it may not be what you believe, but it seemed pretty real to me so I thought I would share. And some day…some glad day…we will know. ❤️
\n“Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good. To one there is given through the Spirit a message of wisdom, to another a message of knowledge by means of the same Spirit, to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by that one Spirit, to another miraculous powers, to another prophecy, to another distinguishing between spirits, to another speaking in different kinds of tongues, and to still another the interpretation of tongues. All these are the work of one and the same Spirit, and he distributes them to each one, just as he determines.”\n1 Corinthians 12:7-11 NIV
\n*Note: There have been a few edits as Sheba clarified the details with me
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-12-21T02:30:12-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/12/21/messages-from-beyond.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Uplifting Stories","Hope","Growth","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Forgiveness"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/12/20/the-great-snowy-owl.html", "title": "The Great Snowy Owl", "content_html": "
![\"Snowy](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/749110899f.jpg\")
\nI love how Facebook can bring folks together that may never meet otherwise. That’s the case of Julie Zickefoose and me. When I was writing posts about the spring bird migration at the farm, a mutual friend “introduced” me to Julie. She is an artist and recently came out with a lovely book called Baby Birds. An artist’s view into the nests of birds in the Appalachian foothills of Ohio.
\nI was especially intrigued this spring when Julie took in a baby blue jay that had ended up on the ground below the nest and whose parents never showed up. She named her Jemima and taught us all how difficult it is to hand raise a wild baby bird. We watched with fascination as she fed her baby chopped up chicken and meal worms. We held our breath as Jemima learned to fly. We watched with mixed emotions as the fledgling was released into the wild, only to return to the safety of “her tree and feeder” time and again. Jemima is fully grown now but her pin feathers didn’t developed correctly because she was hours away from death by starvation when she arrived so she can’t fly very far till she molts next spring and grows new feathers.
\nJulie recently returned from a long awaited birding trip to Ecuador. On her way to the airport, she heard about a juvenile Snowy Owl that had made its way from the Arctic to the Mid-Ohio Valley, taking up residence along a creek near the mall in our little burg. Upon her return, she spent all day Monday observing the magnificent bird…and all the people who wanted to get close enough to take pictures. She was interviewed on the evening news and cautioned the public to give the bird space to rest. Here is the link to her story that was on her blog yesterday. It’s very well written and gives you the up close view you crave, but with a telephoto lens. I’ve seen a snowy owl once before. I haven’t gone to see this bird. For one thing, I’ve been under the weather all week. But, more importantly, this bird needs its space and it doesn’t need more people disturbing it. I’ll “see” it the same way you do…through Julie’s eyes. ❤️
\nhttp://juliezickefoose.blogspot.com/2017/12/parkersburgs-snowy-owl.html
\n“You may eat any clean bird. But these you may not eat: the eagle, the vulture, the black vulture, the red kite, the black kite, any kind of falcon, any kind of raven, the horned owl, the screech owl, the gull, any kind of hawk, the little owl, the great owl, the white owl, the desert owl, the osprey, the cormorant, the stork, any kind of heron, the hoopoe and the bat.”\nDeuteronomy 14:11-18 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-12-20T02:30:27-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/12/20/the-great-snowy-owl.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","West Virginia","Growth","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Humbled"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/12/19/the-modem-of-the-mind.html", "title": "The Modem of the Mind", "content_html": "
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/8e8765720c.jpg\")
\nI really love living out in the country. It’s peaceful. There’s lots of wildlife. It’s a slower life. I like life slow. I don’t like slow internet, however. Being a writer is a beautiful thing…until I’m standing with my cell phone over my head waving it around like a dead chicken, trying to get just…one…more…bar. It can be maddening.
\nMany of the images I use in my posts are really large…especially since I got my new iPhone. Great camera equals great pictures. Great pictures equals larger file size. That presents two problems. One, Wordpress only accepts files up to a certain size. Two, internet in the country is powered by two squirrels and a possum! It sometimes takes multiple attempts to get a photo or meme down to an acceptable size. That takes time and patience.
\nI went to the only office supply store in our little corner of the world and asked what I could do to make our internet work at the far end of the house where I write. We tried a booster. That didn’t work. We tried a repeater. That didn’t work either. Finally, I got the manager and he gave me a lesson in how WiFi works.
\nWiFi, it turns out, is pretty much like your water system. If you have one faucet in your house, every last bit of water pressure is going to send that water out like Old Faithful. However, if you have every faucet in the house turned on, the dishwasher running, a couple of showers, and someone flushes? You’ll be lucky to get a dribble. When we first got WiFi in our houses, we had a desktop computer, and maybe a laptop. Now we have, in this house alone, two iPhones, an iPad, Alexa, a laptop, two computers and a smart TV. It isn’t any wonder we can’t get everything to run well.
\nAs I was driving home from the store after that enlightening conversation, I thought about how my faith journey can be so much like that WiFi. When it’s just me and God, the signal is loud and clear. I feel His presence. I hear His Holy Spirit in my heart. I connect. But when I start plugging in device after device, my connection gets spotty. I start dropping calls. It is not good to keep God on hold. When I have too many “devices” plugged in, like we all do at the holidays, something has to go. And the first thing that went was my health. I caught a cold. I haven’t had a full fledged cold in a really long time. I mean a knock-you-down-and-drag-your-sorry-butt-to-bed kind of cold. This is that kind of cold, darn it.
\nThe good news is, colds are finite. You’re miserable for a few days and it gets better. I’ll be fine by Christmas. But, it IS a reminder to unplug some of those “devices” and spend some one-on-one time with God so my signal is clearer. ❤️
\n“Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me.”\nRevelation 3:20 ESV
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-12-19T02:30:33-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/12/19/the-modem-of-the-mind.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Holiday","Wisdom","Humbled"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/12/17/deportment-etiquette-useful-skills-or.html", "title": "Deportment \u0026 Etiquette: Useful Skills or Out-of-Date Sexism?", "content_html": "
![\"Deportment](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/883bdfaf57.jpg\")
\nMr. FixIt and I went Christmas shopping yesterday. As much as I hate to go to Walmart, especially during the holiday shopping frenzy, we went looking for a specific item we weren’t finding elsewhere. When we arrived at the store, I excused myself to the ladies room.
\nThere was a bit of a line, as one might imagine with half the town out and about the weekend before Christmas. The woman in front of me had a full shopping cart of merchandise and a cell phone in her hand. She had the phone on speaker and it was ringing…unanswered. She turned to me and said, “Go ahead…I have to do this.”
\nIn the stall, I overheard the woman leaving a voice mail. I will paraphrase so as to leave the woman unidentifiable.
\n“Listen, if you insist on hanging up on me in the middle of a conversation…I’ll tell you what. You’re in a nursing home. I just won’t come visit you anymore. How’s that?! Talk to you later, Mommy.”
\nI was dumbfounded. Who does that? It’s Christmas, for crying out loud. It was more than just being rude to her mother…in a voicemail, mind you. It was being rude, out loud, in a public restroom, where anyone within several feet could overhear. I debated. How should I react? Should I say something? Make eye contact and show my disapproval? Breathe. Breathe. “God, show me what I should do.”
\nI decided not to say anything. I do not know the whole story. I don’t know if this woman has an issue. Maybe she had a gun? These are the things you think of in 2017. I came out of the stall, made brief eye contact, and said a prayer. “Father God…protect this woman’s mother from the wrath of her child. And bring them both peace and understanding. May they know your love. Amen”
\nWhen I was in school, we were taught deportment and etiquette. Every time I put on a coat, I can see the woman on the auditorium stage at Parkersburg High School.
\n“Grasp the coat by the collar and pull it up and over your right shoulder as you slip your arm in the sleeve. Then, gently reach behind you and slip your left arm into its sleeve. Do NOT swing the coat over your head like a toreador!”
\nWe walked with books on our heads. We learned to sit gracefully without looking like a lumberjack. We learned grace and manners. Yes, please. No, thank you. Yes, ma’am. No, sir. May I? We learned which fork was for salad, which was for dinner and which was for dessert. We learned not to slurp our soup or our tea. We learned to stir the coffee in our cup without making a lot of noise. We learned manners.
\nThis was in the ‘60s and early ‘70s. In our senior year, girls were finally given permission to wear pants to school. And ever so slowly, deportment went out the window with our bras and pencil skirts and Peter Pan collars. There are certain aspects of our “training” that was decidedly sexist. After all, in many ways, we were really being taught how to catch a good man. Good girls acted in a certain way.
\nThis is the year of the woman…2017. Time’s “Person of the Year” is The Silence Breakers…the women of the #metoo movement. Women who have been the victims of sexual harassment, abuse, molestation, rape….many at the hands of powerful and influential men. But, are they really breaking their silence or just…finally, finally, finally being listened to…being heard? We’ve been telling. We’ve been talking. All along, we’ve been talking. And now, people are listening. Is it a perfect thing? No…it’s difficult and ugly and messy. And there are bound to be untruths told. But the majority…the vast majority of the stories told will be true. And far, far too familiar.
\nWere we trained to be the victims of men? We were told it was better to be seen and not heard. We were taught to keep the peace, don’t rock the boat, be a “good girl”…no matter what. “Boys will be boys.” “Were you drinking?” “Well, look what she was wearing!” Instead, these brave women are saying, “Nothing…NOTHING gives anyone the right to abuse me in anyway. Period.”
\nI texted my daughter, the high school teacher…my go-to resource when I want to understand the minds of today’s adolescent. I asked her if they teach deportment and manners anymore. She said nothing even remotely close to it. I asked if it was considered sexist. Was there a lack of funding? Was it outdated? Her answer was…outdated. They don’t call it “Home Economics” anymore. It’s “Food Science”, “Cooking”, “Catering”, “Fashion”…all under the title of “Career Technical Education classes.
\nOk, I get it. To tell a girl she has to learn to walk straight and tall, to walk in heels, to put her coat on a certain way, may be considered sexist. Especially if young men aren’t being taught the same thing. I get all that. My problem is manners. Common, everyday decency that tells one it isn’t polite to stand in a bathroom at Walmart and threaten your elderly mother who is living in a nursing home. Threatening to stop visiting her if she hangs up on you again. I don’t get that.
\nThere are parents who do a beautiful job raising polite, functional, lovable children who use impeccable manners and they do it without shaming or beating them. I know many of them. But there are so many more who leave it up to an overtaxed educational system to teach their children how to be decent human beings.
\nI don’t know the answer. Are there any “Emily Posts” left in the world? How do we teach the youth of today that manners are still important? How do we teach respect? I cannot believe that deportment is outdated entirely. It’s not that I am an old fuddy-duddy. I just want the best for our bright and shining future. ❤️
\n“And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.”\nLuke 6:31 ESV
\n", "date_published": "2017-12-17T02:30:11-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/12/17/deportment-etiquette-useful-skills-or.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Growth","Grace","Peace","Wisdom","Humbled","Peaceful Moments"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/12/14/lets-take-a-ride-on.html", "title": "Let’s Take a Ride on the Brain Train", "content_html": "![\"The](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/d49456d497.jpg\")
\nIn the early ‘80s, Hubby #2 was just finishing medical school and was about to start his internship and residency. I was working for a four-doctor Internal Medicine clinic as a Diabetes Educator. The wife of one of the doctors I worked for was writing a book about a kind of water exercise called “Flugel Fitness”. She contracted me to illustrate the instruction manual. In the process of working with her, we had lots of conversations about health and wellness. She had a workout studio and I started some weight loss classes for her. I remember having a conversation with her about my situational anxiety surrounding public speaking and she recommended a book by Shakti Gawain called Creative Visualization. I loved that book and read it many times and it did help.
\nCreative visualization and guided imagery are sort of like meditation. One image helped me feel grounded. I sat in the lotus position and imagined a lightning rod going from the top of my head, down my spine, and sinking deep within the earth. I pictured energy drawing up from the earth and showering out the top of my head and raining down over me. It was all very New Agey.
\nAt this same time, Daughter #1 was about nine or ten years old. She loved for me to tell her stories at bedtime. Reading Shakti’s book gave me an idea. I wanted to see if creative visualization would work to help an active child settle down and fall asleep more easily. So, I created the Brain Train. We went on lots of “trips” on the Brain Train as I described intricate scenarios. It worked beautifully! She would relax and fall asleep much quicker with this type of guided imagery.
\nI decided to write a children’s book. I made it like a dry erase book with basic background images. The child uses a marker to draw in what they “see” as they ride the Brain Train through the countryside. It was a fun idea and Daughter #1 loved it. I submitted it to dozens of publishers and received dozens of rejections. Then, about a year later, creative visualization for children took off and there were books similar to mine everywhere. I figure I was just too far ahead of my time, right?
\nWhen Daughter #2 came along, she had many of the same anxiety issues I’ve struggled with. One day we were looking through some things and she saw the prototype book that I sent to publishers. I told her all about the Brain Train and we started using creative visualization to help her cope with stress. She loved it as much as her older sister.
\nI don’t get to talk to the girls as often as I’d like these days. They are busy with their lives. But, yesterday I got to talk with Daughter #2 for a lovely, long conversation. The subject of The Brain Train came up and she told me what an important tool that had been for her and how she still uses creative visualization. She said, “Mom, I still have the painting you did for me. It’s hanging in my bedroom.” She sent me this picture. It brings back so many memories of my girls when they were little. Tucking them into bed…warm from a bath, hair still damp, tummies full of milk and cookies. We would hop onboard the Brain Train and soon found ourselves riding through mountains or along the ocean or through a forest. We saw animals of all sizes and colors. Blue elephants, pink giraffes, polka dot monkeys. We crossed bridges and went through long dark tunnels and soon they relaxed and I heard the familiar deep, even breathing of sleep.
\nWhat a gift that was…to learn something I did for them…something I really haven’t thought of in ages…had such an impact. It made me feel like I felt when I held them on my lap, brushing their hair from their foreheads, kissing the top of their heads. It made me feel like a mom. I mean…once a mom, always a mom, right? I mean like a real, active, momming mom. It gave me the feels. ❤️
\n“Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.”\nPsalms 19:14 ESV
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-12-14T02:30:54-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/12/14/lets-take-a-ride-on.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Fun","West Virginia","Growth","New Ideas","Love","Peace","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/12/12/change.html", "title": "Change", "content_html": "
![\"WV](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/8b5c1a7872.jpg\")
\nOne of the hardest things to deal with since losing Mr. Virgo is…change. And of course, that is the one thing you can absolutely count on in this life. Change. Things change. People change. Situations change. And, unfortunately…places change.
\nI have to tell you, sometimes you have no way of knowing what God has up His sleeve when He leads you down a certain path. Why this way and not that? Sometimes we never figure it out. Other times, it becomes crystal clear. I love those times. Even when they break my heart.
\nWhen I first came to West Virginia, it was just a year and a half after losing Mr. Virgo. I lived on the family farm but only for a few weeks. When my aunt decided she really didn’t want help, I went off on my own for a couple years. I never dreamed I’d have the opportunity to come back and be the caretaker of the home of my heart. When my uncle asked me to take care of the place for him, I jumped at the chance.
\nI know God has a reason behind every move. There was a plan before I was born. I hadn’t really thought about why I got to live at the farm again. Until yesterday. Mr. FixIt and I have noticed a lot of heavy dump trucks going up the road lately. We heard this summer that they’re putting in a compressor station back beyond the farm so we surmised the work had begun. When we got there yesterday, I drove past the farm and went up the back road. It wasn’t long till we saw the signs. “Road Work Ahead” and “Flagger: Prepare to Stop”.
\nIt’s funny. You hear change is coming. You see what other places look like when they change. Yet, you’re completely unprepared when the change comes and it affects your world. I’m a go-with-the-flow kinda gal, but when I saw them cutting into MY earth, MY world, my HEART…it crushed me. I motioned for the flagger to come over. I asked for details. “What are they doing there?” “How far back are they going?” “How long will this take?” He was a young man. Respectful. He seemed to understand this was hurtful to me. He explained carefully what steps they were taking. I sat and stared till the tears stung my eyes then I had to go.
\nI remember when they clear cut the back of the farm. I felt like this. But, trees grow back. This is a permanent scar that will never heal. As I sat and watched the big dump trucks back out the ridge to be filled with MY earth, the Holy Spirit whispered to my heart.
\n“This is why you were given this time on the farm. You are here to memorize every inch of the place. You are here to document the passage. You are here to be a witness.”
\nChange is inevitable. I know that. I’m doing better with change. I don’t like it. And I especially don’t like them messing with the home of my heart. But, I’m also a realist. I’m pragmatic. There is now going to be a paved road out to the back of this ridge. There will be easier access to the workable land and that will improve the value of the farm. That’s the upside. There’s going to be a lot of sound pollution, increased traffic, as well as some environmental risks. That’s the downside.
\nI’ve always known my time on the farm is limited. I’ll still be taking care of it for the foreseeable future. And I’ll be saying goodbye to what it once was…one truckload of dirt at a time. ❤️
\n“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:”\nEcclesiastes 3:1 ESV
\n", "date_published": "2017-12-12T02:30:30-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/12/12/change.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","West Virginia","The Farm","Growth","New Ideas","Grace","God","Wisdom","Humbled","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/12/10/its-that-time-of-year.html", "title": "It’s That Time of Year", "content_html": "![\"Snowy](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/e4e54a2659.jpg\")
\nI visit this topic every year. There’s always a big hullaballoo every year about what to say when greeting others around the holidays. It seems like there are just WAY too many perceived offenses surrounding this subject. There are those offended by “Happy Holidays” or “Season’s Greetings”. There are some who are not necessarily offended by “Merry Christmas” but who wish to be more inclusive. Sometimes the debate gets heated and we forget what the whole thing is all about in the first place. Love. The kind of love that transcends all other love.
\nWhile I was not born Jewish, I lived as a Jew for 27 years. I became Jewish for a number of reasons, but it was NOT to convert because of a marriage. I married a Jewish man, but I considered myself Jewish before I met him. When he joined a medical practice in a small town on the western slope of Colorado, we were faced with a bit of a dilemma. Everything was strictly “Merry Christmas”. Which is fine. I have no problem with that. The Christmas program included Hanukkah songs, which was great. But, it was Hanukkah songs without acknowledging Hanukkah, per se. The other children in the school weren’t taught there was anything else BUT Christmas. They thought Hanukkah was the Jewish Christmas, and it isn’t. It doesn’t have anything to do with Christmas. And, being a stickler for education, I wanted the children to learn about all the winter holidays. I wanted all the children to be included and celebrated. And to do that, it couldn’t just be about ONE holiday…as if that were the only one.
\nI joined an ad hoc committee on religious sensitivity in the schools. We added books about other winter festivals and holidays to the school and public libraries. We asked for the program to be called the Winter Celebration. We were met with incredible resistance. The mayor of the little town was a former priest. He took great offense at our request. To the point that he hung a banner over the Main Street of town accusing the “heathens of trying to take Christmas away from our kids”. Personally, I really loved that man. He was kind, generous, and worked very hard for our town. He got our local representative involved. It was a real mess. We met with them. We communicated. We pleaded for our children to be included. And, as time passed…they were. We weren’t trying to take anything away from other children. We were trying to expand the scope of the holidays to embrace all children.
\nI don’t feel any holiday should be diluted. Every faith has its own place in this melting pot of a country. Religious freedom is what this country was founded on. I am a great proponent of inclusivity. In the years since, I have become a Christian. My faith is very important to me. But, I have a memory. And my little girl was ostracized by her peers. She was…to her face…called a “stupid effing Jew” and that is totally unacceptable.
\nSo, here’s my bottom line. I do not care if you say Merry Christmas. I didn’t care when I was Jewish if you said Merry Christmas to me. You were being kind and wishing me well. What’s not to love about that? I, however, will more than likely say “Happy Holidays” to you unless I know for certain that you celebrate Christmas. Because, I am not clairvoyant. Unless you are wearing a Santa suit or elf ears, I’m not going to assume who or what you are. I will respect your human-ness. With a heartfelt holiday greeting.
\nI love Christmas. And, I love Hanukkah. I am not familiar with Kwanza, but I love that there is such a holiday. For me personally, I love the story of the Nativity, of the birth of the Christ Child. And, I love all of you. I hope this season is full of love, no matter what your faith…or lack thereof. This is a dark time of year, and a dark time of the world in many ways. We all need all the Love and Light we can get…and not just in December! ❤️
\n“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end;”\nLamentations 3:22 ESV
\n", "date_published": "2017-12-10T02:30:37-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/12/10/its-that-time-of-year.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Holiday","Wisdom","Forgiveness"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/12/09/its-ok-to-sayno.html", "title": "It’s Ok to Say...No!", "content_html": "![\"Background\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/097e55ae69.jpg\")
\nThe first year of widowhood, absolutely everything was totally overwhelming. I cried my way through the grocery story. I was filled with angst over making decisions as small as getting my hair cut while I easily went out on a three month trip in my little camper. Work was difficult and I made mistakes. I sat through family holidays literally biting the insides of my cheeks to keep from screaming. It was so hard.
\nThe second year wasn’t much better for me. Worse, in many ways. Mainly because now I was awake and aware and he was still gone. This, however, was the year I learned to say no. In the tiniest of ways. When I felt overwhelmed during the holiday celebrations, I left the room for a break. And no one made a fuss. No one got mad. No one had a hissy fit. As a matter of fact, I’m not really sure they noticed. And that emboldened me to try saying no more often.
\nThis is the fifth Christmas without Mr. Virgo. You would think after this long, and having a new love in my life, I’d have a handle on this whole grief thing, wouldn’t you? But, I don’t always. Take the last month, for instance. My stress level went through the roof. Mr. FixIt and I started fixing up his house. We had his family over for Thanksgiving. I’m just getting to know them and I really want things to be good. We traveled to see some of my relatives over Thanksgiving. Mr. FixIt traveled and I took care of two homes, five cats, cleaning, decorating and rearranging. Then we had pre-op visits and his surgery. I had a huge change in my health insurance and my bill went up. Not something I planned for. I need new brakes on my truck.
\nI always go see the kids and grands in Colorado at Christmas. I kept putting off buying my tickets because I didn’t know how this surgery would affect Mr. FixIt. I didn’t know how long it would be till he could drive, cook, even dress himself. Everything piled up and my anxiety was through the roof. Finally, I had a talk with my daughter. I explained my situation and before I could even finish, she said, “Mom, it’s ok. You’ve got a lot on your plate and you have to do what you have to do. The kids are big enough now to understand adult stuff happens and things don’t always work out the way you planned. Don’t worry about it…it’s fine. Really.” And…just like that…the weight fell off my shoulders. I hadn’t even realized how tense I’ve been till I let go of that and sighed.
\nAs it turns out, it’s absolutely the right decision. Mr. FixIt’s surgery went well, but there are things we hadn’t thought of that he can’t do alone. Opening his pill bottles. Washing the dishes. Showering and dressing. I know this man. If I’m not watching, he’ll be trying to do things he should NOT be doing. I told my friend, Gail, I wasn’t going to Colorado. She said, “Family is important. But so are new relationships.”
\nIt’s ok to say no. It’s ok to acknowledge your limits. It’s ok to take care of yourself and not feel guilty. It’s ok not to be the perfect mother, grandmother, lover, friend, wife, sister, colleague. It’s ok to not go to that party. It’s ok to turn down that invitation to the ornament exchange party. It’s ok to back out of something you thought you could do, but when the tie came to do it it just felt too overwhelming. It’s ok. It’s ok. It’s ok.
\nYesterday Mr. Fixit and I hung out at the house all day in our jammies. We watched movies. We ate good food. I made homemade vegetable beef soup and hot rolls. We didn’t do a darned thing and that was ok. My stress level dropped exponentially after the surgery was over and I knew I didn’t have to scrape together enough money for a plane ticket in a week or two.
\nThe lesson learned here is…there’s really not much that you absolutely HAVE to do surrounding holidays. We have such great expectations and they seldom pan out the way we imagine them anyway. So, why not just give yourself a break and stop trying to create the perfect holiday? Try these things instead…
\nPractice saying no once in a while.
\nMake a cup of tea.
\nBreathe.
\nEat a chocolate.
\nRead a magazine.
\nGo for a walk.
\nTake a nap.
\nSend a card.
\nWatch your favorite movie.
\nTake a bubble bath.
\nLight candles in the evening.
\nCall a friend.
\nDraw a picture.
\nKnit.
\nBake cookies.
\nWatch the snow fall.
\nGo for a drive.
\nDonate to charity.
\nListen to music.
\nGet a massage.
\nPray.
\nSelf care. It’s not selfish. It doesn’t have to be expensive. Reduce your holiday expectations. Just say…”No…no, thank you. I’d love to another time. Thank you so much for asking but I’m stretched so thin right now, I need to practice some self care.” Be honest. Tell the truth. Just. Say. No.
\n“Beloved, I pray that all may go well with you and that you may be in good health, as it goes well with your soul.”\n3 John 1:2 ESV
\n", "date_published": "2017-12-09T02:30:49-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/12/09/its-ok-to-sayno.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Holiday","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/12/07/a-lost-art.html", "title": "A Lost Art", "content_html": "![\"Vintage](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/2b81d02043.jpg\")
\nHow many Christmas cards did you get last year? Not too many, huh? Yeah…me either. Maybe it’s because I lived on the road for a couple of years. Maybe it’s because Mr. Virgo died. Maybe it’s because the “old guard”…the older generations…are passing on. Maybe it’s because I stopped sending them. Whatever the reason, the giving and receiving of Christmas Cards seems to have fallen to the wayside with the likes of the “Thank You Note” and the “Handwritten Letter”.
\nI remember it being such an honor for Mom to let me open a Christmas Card when it arrived. I slowly opened each envelope, being careful not to rip the return address. We ooohed and ahhhed over the picture on the cover marveling over the glitter or the crystals of “snow”. We read every word. We pored over the newsy letter that was enclosed in the cards of those who lived far away. These weren’t “brag letters”. These were informative bringing us up to date with the news of the year because phone calls were expensive and this may be the only way to catch up.
\nMy mom knew a man named Mr. Pancake. Really…that was his last name. One year, he had Christmas Cards made. They were cutouts of a pancake with a smiley face on it. Inside, it said “Merry Christmas from the Pancake House.” We kept that card forever. I think it was still in Mom’s treasures when she died. I don’t know if I kept it or not. That was my most memorable card.
\nI love the photo cards that you can look back on and see how children have grown and the older folks have aged. I even love the “brag letters”. Getting a piece of mail that isn’t a bill or an advertisement is such a joy that I don’t care what’s in it or on it. I just appreciate the thought.
\nI was shopping the other day and came across the Christmas Card display. I browsed through them, smiling over Santas and Snowmen and Reindeer. My heart warmed at the Nativities and The Wisemen and Angels. My fingers and hands were sparkling with glitter when I chose a small box and took it to the register. When Mr. Fixit got home from Florida, I showed him my prize. He smiled and took my hand and gave it a squeeze. “I’ll get my address book.” he said. I smiled back and said, “I’ll get mine.”
\nNext, we’ll make one that is “ours”. ❤️
\n“You yourselves are our letter of recommendation, written on our hearts, to be known and read by all. And you show that you are a letter from Christ delivered by us, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts.”\n2 Corinthians 3:2-3 ESV
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-12-07T02:30:32-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/12/07/a-lost-art.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Fun","West Virginia","Gratitude","Love","Peace","Holiday","Wisdom","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/12/05/he-loves-melike-that.html", "title": "He Loves Me...”Like That”", "content_html": "
![\"Man](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/c29a911247.jpg\")
\nIt was December 4th, 2013. It had been 267 days since the love of my life died right in front of me. It was 267 largely sleepless nights. I had made myself put one foot in front of the other…day after miserable, lonely day…for 2-6-7 long $&@#%€* days. I was tired. I was broken. But I was trying.
\nOn this day, I went to work. It was normally an hour commute each way, but on this particular day, the skies opened up and snow started falling at an alarming rate. The further west I drove heading home, the deeper the snow became. When I finally pulled up in front of my house, there was nearly 18” of heavy, wet snow in my driveway. I slogged up the drive and got my snow shovel out. You know…the one with MY name on it…not Mr. Virgo’s. He was gone. Two-hundred-sixty-seven days of…gone.
\nI shoveled for what seemed like hours. I was numb…physically and emotionally. I could hardly make a dent in the snow removal. I barely got my car in off the street when I gave up and went inside. I marched straight to our…MY…bedroom. I stood in front of the picture of Mr. Virgo and yelled at him. I screamed. I cried. I ranted and raved. He had a lot of nerve leaving me like this…with this house and this mess and this…LIFE! I didn’t ask for this. I didn’t want this. I was just so $&@# tired. I didn’t care if I lived or died, to be perfectly honest.
\nThat was a particularly dark and dreadful season in my life. There were a lot of people who helped me through that. I had support from those who loved me and from complete strangers in several widow’s support groups on Facebook. I’m only active in a couple of them now. I see myself there now as a symbol of hope, having survived the worst of it.
\nThe other day, one of the women in the group said “No one will ever love me like that again”. I couldn’t let her go on thinking that…believing that. I know early on…I couldn’t imagine loving again. If for no other reason than I was sure another loss like that would surely kill me. Then time passed, wounds scarred over, and color started to filter back into my life. I started to think…maybe I COULD do this again. I prayed a lot about it and asked God to place a worthy man right in front of me. And…He did.
\nI wanted this woman to know…your heart can beat again. You can open it up. You can give and receive love. It’s been almost five years since my world fell apart. And, while this man is so different than my late husband, he loves me “like that”. I feel the same joy true love brings. I feel the same hope, warmth, trust. This one is far more passionate…partially because I’m acutely aware of what I lost and I find this so precious. Which brings me to the biggest difference. Fear. When my husband was alive and I used to have the fleeting thought…”What if he died?” I had absolutely zero understanding of what devastation that loss would bring. Now, I know exactly what that loss brought to me. I still don’t know what losing this man would be like, but I have a $&@# good idea. I try to keep the wolves at bay and live in the moment, but they’re always howling in the woods somewhere.
\nGod did not create in us a spirit of fear but a spirit of power and love and self-control. 2 Timothy 1:7 is one of my go-to verses when I’m feeling weak and out of control. Mr. FixIt is having some reconstruction surgery on his hand Thursday. Even though I worked most of my career in medicine and was married to a physician for two decades, since losing Mr. Virgo, I don’t handle medical situations very well…especially when it involves someone I love. I read 2 Timothy, and asked a friend to come join me at the hospital for coffee and a chance to catch up. I know it’s not a huge invasive surgery, but I know things can happen. This man loves me…”like that”. I will do my very best to support him in whatever comes our way because…I love him “like that”, too. ❤️
\n“for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.”\n2 Timothy 1:7 ESV
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-12-05T02:30:03-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/12/05/he-loves-melike-that.html", "tags": ["Faith","Colorado","Family","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Humbled","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/12/04/making-progress.html", "title": "Making Progress", "content_html": "
![\"Interior](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/cf92378bfc.jpg\")
\nMr. FixIt came home yesterday! happy dance Doggone it…we really miss each other when we are apart. I always say, “But, I still need my space. I have to have time to recharge!” And I do. About four days and I’m good. After that, I’m ready to see that happy smile on Mr. FixIt’s face. It is a good thing to miss your love when you’re apart. It means you’ve got it goin’ on, right?
\nI worked like a little bee while he was gone. I did some rearranging and cleaning and decorating and nested like a woman about to deliver. (Thank God THAT’S not happening anymore!) I didn’t want to post pictures while he was gone because he reads my posts every day (didn’t I say he was sweet?) and I didn’t want to ruin the surprise when he walked in the door. I have to say, the look on his face was worth all the work. I literally finished minutes before he pulled into the drive!
\nReally, the only room we’ve done any work on has been the family room. Some paint, a new desk and chair, editing what was in there, and adding some of my special things, and it’s a whole new room for very little outlay. There’s more to do, but it’s really lovely now and it reflects US! This picture is the corner where I set up my desk and chair. I love how the desk closes up, hiding any “office clutter”. The raven on the top is an old orchard decoy I bought thirty years ago. The heron lamp belongs to Mr. FixIt. The quilt was a wedding gift to Mr. Virgo and me from a friend. It hung in the breakfast nook at my home in Colorado. The sign on the top says “Once in awhile, in an ordinary life, love gives us a fairytale.” I bought that to put in my camper as a remembrance of the love I had with Mr. Virgo. And now, it’s doing double duty because I get to live another fairytale!
\nI’ll share bits and pieces of my decorating as we go along but I have to maintain Mr. FixIt’s privacy as well. Bless his heart, he signed on for a heck of a ride when he asked me out for lunch a year or so ago. He’s never said a word about showing up in my posts, but I want to respect his boundaries at the same time.
\nThe house is decorated for Christmas and this week is jam-packed busy with appointments. I hope you are enjoying your early holiday preparations. If you are experiencing your first (or second, or tenth….doesn’t matter) holiday without your loved one and you’re really missing your person, I hope you are practicing good self care. Reach out here if you need extra support. There are a lot of us here who have been through similar losses and we’re here to help as we can. ❤️
\n“…I found the one my heart loves.”\nSong of Songs 3:4 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-12-04T02:30:04-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/12/04/making-progress.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Positive Energy","Fun","West Virginia","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Humbled","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/12/03/the-rheostat.html", "title": "The Rheostat", "content_html": "
![\"Rheostat\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/d4dd13ff46.jpg\")
\nWhen Daughter #2 was born, I had the luxury of being a stay-at-home mom. Her sister, and only sibling, turned sixteen and got her driver’s license just a few months after she was born. So, I had a lot of time on my hands to devote to the baby. I knew this would be my last child so I read all the parenting books and nurtured her learning from the get go. As a matter of fact, I placed headphones on my tummy and played Mozart and Beethoven to her in utero. Yes, I was “one of THOSE” moms.
\nDaughter #2 was precocious. She could READ the alphabet at seventeen months. She knew the names of all her body parts, by their anatomical terms. She spoke complete sentences early. She was a beast! Fierce. Determined. Focused. I had flash cards on the wall by the changing table. We would talk about what it was and what it meant and how you spell it and how you pronounce it.
\nBecause of all this exposure to knowledge, this baby was powerfully curious. She pointed at everything and wanted to know what it was, how it worked, and what you used it for. One afternoon, I caught her staring intently at something from her high chair. I followed her gaze. She was looking at the dimmer switch. Soon she looked at me and asked “Whassat?” It was her FAVORITE question! She asked it hundreds of times a day.
\nI explained to her that it was a dimmer switch, but the thing that makes it work is called a rheostat. I took her outside and showed her the electric lines coming into the house. I told her about electricity. And I told her how a rheostat slows down or speeds up the waves in the electricity and that changes the light from dim to bright to dim at will. After that, wherever we went, she demanded to know if our host or hostess had a rheostat. My friends rolled their eyes at me. “Would you let her be a kid, for crying out loud?” I should have, probably. My daughter struggled because the other kids just didn’t “get” her. She had trouble relating to kids her own age. She’s turned out fine…it just wasn’t easy for her.
\nLife can be like a rheostat. We can turn up the frequency and shine light out into the world. Or we can turn it down and sit in the dark. There’s something really cool about the light, though. Darkness cannot overcome the light. Only light can overcome darkness. Keep shining your light out into the world. Keep the darkness at bay. Constantly tell the enemy he is not welcome here. Show him your light. Tell him Who you get that light from. Send him packing. Remember your rheostat when you feel down…and turn it up! ❤️
\n“When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.””\nJohn 8:12 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-12-03T02:30:28-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/12/03/the-rheostat.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Humbled"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/12/02/more-christmas-memories.html", "title": "MORE Christmas Memories", "content_html": "
![\"Ceramic](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/bf84f90cf7.jpg\")
\nI have been on such a nostalgia kick lately! Here’s one I know you all will remember and you probably had (still have!) one of these bad boys. My mom had one that she made in a ceramics class. As a matter of fact, I think I might have made one somewhere along the way. I seem to remember painting on the glaze that puffed up like snow and gluing the little ornaments in the holes. Wow…that’s like opening the top of your head and reaching WAY back in the memory banks!
\nMom got to the point where this was the extent of her holiday decorating. When Christmas was over, she dusted off the “tree”, put a dry cleaning bag over it, and took it back upstairs to the attic till the next year. I found it up there after she died. It’s one of the things I saved when I cleared out her house. And, unfortunately, it’s one of the only things that broke during one of my many moves over the years. It made me so sad.
\nI was rummaging around in the upstairs of the cellar house the other day and ran across one of these in a box up there. I need to get it out and set it up on the dining room table. My aunt used to put it out when she lived there.
\nI was wandering around the mall yesterday and was thinking of more things we used to get at Christmas. Remember those round bath oil beads? They were jewel-toned, came in about four or five scents, and often were in a tube with a plastic crook on the end to look like a candy cane. You put on in your bath and the hot water would melt the gelatin bead and the oil would come out into the water. Only, who could resist picking it up and playing with it till it completely dissolved???
\nHow about the Easy Bake Oven??? OMGosh! Do you remember how horrible that stuff tasted??? Yet, we ate it! There was Chatty Cathy, Betsy Wetsy, Tiny Tears. I always wanted one but never got one. I did get the bride doll that was as tall as me! And I had a Barbie. My Aunt Marge once traded eggs for a Barbie Doll dress that the neighbor made. I knew that was a big deal for her to do that and I took extra special care of that dress.
\nHow about the socks with the toes in them? Or games like Operation or Chutes and Ladders or Candyland. I remember getting a set of Old Maid cards once.
\nOne year, money must have been really tight. Mom ordered our Christmas presents from a catalog and they didn’t come in time for Christmas. So on Christmas morning, mom gave us each an envelope with the pictures of what we were going to get when the box arrived. But then, when the box did come, Dad found out Mom had charged the items so he made her send them all back. We were so disappointed and to this day, it makes my heart ache for her. She had to have felt horrible that we didn’t get a Christmas.
\nWe moved into the house we grew up in over Christmas break when I was in second grade. The house and furnishings were our Christmas that year. I remember my Grandmother bought me a bedroom set. It was grey, very modern. It had a twin bed and a dresser that had a drop\nFront that turned into a desk. Grandmother made curtains out of pink fabric with grey poodles on them. There was an old TV console in my bedroom and for some reason, she made a cover for that as well. I even had a black metal trash can with a poodle on it! My brothers room was decorated with a Cincinnati Reds theme. That was a grand Christmas!
\nI remember when I got old enough to babysit, I would go downtown to Kresge’s and buy Mom a little bottle of Evening in Paris perfume or a chiffon scarf. She always acted as though that was the finest gift a mother could have wished for and it made me so proud. I loved wrapping the presents. As a matter of fact…when we got old enough, she would put our gifts in boxes and I’d wrap my own presents! I wrapped everyone’s presents. It took all day on a Saturday. I’d sit on the floor in front of the TV and use up all the bows and the stickers and the gift tags and have a big time. Then I’d pile everything under the tree. We didn’t have a lot. But we had enough. ❤️
\n““Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.”\nExodus 20:12 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2017-12-02T02:30:56-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/12/02/more-christmas-memories.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Fun","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Peace","Holiday","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Humbled"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/11/29/the-shift.html", "title": "The Shift", "content_html": "![\"Christmas](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/08a030f2c5.jpg\")
\nThe earth shifted yesterday. Did you feel it? I did. Mr. FixIt is about halfway through his guy getaway to Florida with his buddy and I’ve been staying at his house…feeding cats, cleaning, decorating, rearranging. It’s been great fun.
\nFor those of you who have been following from the beginning, I downsized and got rid of ninety-five percent of my personal belongings when I sold my house in 2014. I brought those things to West Virginia that I could not part with. A friend has been so kind as to let me store them in his basement all this time. I went over a couple of weeks ago and brought a whole truckload over to Mr. FixIt’s house. The Christmas decorations were all put out so yesterday, I got into the boxes of decorator items. A pink Fenton hurricane lamp, an antique cast iron rabbit doorstop, some quilts, my raven decoy, a sign that says “Kindness Matters”…these found themselves mingled with Mr. FixIt’s memories. Looking at the finished project, they could have all been purchased together for just the same house
\nI went back into the storage room and lugged the heaviest box to the kitchen. This is where I felt the shift. Do you sense what’s happening here? I’m nesting. The lines of “yours” and “mine” are blurring. Nowhere did I feel this as much as when I opened that heavy box. It was filled with china. Precious cargo that has been carted from one side of the country to the other…never seeing the light of day.
\nOne winter day, what seems like a lifetime ago, Mr. Virgo and I were shopping for a tablecloth. When I caught up with him, he was standing in front of a display of china. He was studying something intently so I followed his gaze. When I saw what he was looking at, I gasped out loud. Royal Doulton’s “Tennyson”. I’ve never seen anything so beautiful. And, six months later, I got eight place settings for my birthday. I sat down and cried like a little girl. I’d never had anything so…fine.
\nThose dishes were packed away in 2014 when I sold my house. Yesterday…I carefully unwrapped each one, inspecting them for chips or cracks. They were perfect. I carefully hand washed and dried each piece and set them out on the dining room table in Mr. FixIt’s house. I thought about how far I have come in the nearly five years since Mr. Virgo died.
\nMr. FixIt and I still have an unconventional relationship. He has his place, I am taking care of the family farm. We stay a little here, a little there. We travel, and we stay apart a little. It works for now.
\nI am so blessed that Mr. FixIt gets me. He’s an angel…tolerant of many things. And he’s thrilled to spend whatever time he can with me. The feelings are mutual. ❤️
\n“Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain…”\nPsalm 127:1 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-11-29T02:30:12-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/11/29/the-shift.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Fun","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Humbled","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/11/28/the-stick-tree.html", "title": "The Stick Tree", "content_html": "
![\"Christmas](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/df4b74fec3.jpg\")
\nYou’ve all seen that spindly little Christmas tree Charlie Brown had, right? Basically a stick with some twigs branching off. As far back as I can remember, that was the tree out at the farm. My Uncle Bob was a simple man. When he was told to go cut down a pine tree for Christmas, he did just that. And being a practical man, he brought back one that was easy to carry and would not take long to decorate. He was the smartest of the bunch, turns out.
\nGrandma didn’t have a lot of ornaments. I remember some of those made by Shiny Bright. There was a very old hand blown Santa that my fat baby fingers accidentally broke one year. sigh And, there was an angel that went on the top of the tree. Her dress was made of vinyl with a net skirt over it. Her upper torso, arms, and head were like a doll made of hard plastic. Her hair was spun glass. And her wings were silver pressed cardboard. Somehow, I managed to acquire that angel. I suppose because I’m the oldest grand daughter and got married first, I don’t know. But that angel has been with me forever. She is too fragile to put on top of a tree…I’m afraid the cardboard tube that slips over a branch might break. So, she gets tucked in a place of prominence on the front of the tree…up high enough to avoid any encounters with two or four-legged children.
\nWe always had a big, fat tree at home that my dad bought at a lot. I remember the excitement of driving around looking at Christmas lights then stopping at the lot to pick out our tree. I wore a woolen coat buttoned up to my neck, someone’s hand-me-down, I’m sure. I had a blue velvet hat that tied under my chin with blue satin ties. And, hanging on one side we’re two white balls made of real rabbit fur. I remember shaking my head back and forth to feel them bounce around. I wore that hat till it literally disintegrated. I wore rubber boots that fit over my shoes and buckles with an elastic string over a button.
\nDad would walk us up and down the aisles to choose the perfect tree…i.e. the cheapest without too many holes in it. Once the price was negotiated, an attendant would help Dad carry the tree to the Oldsmobile and strap it to the top with sisal rope. Once we got it home, there was trimming to be done before we could take it in the house. We had strings of lights with big reflectors that went on before screwing the big bulb in. This was a safety feature that kept the needles from touching the hot bulb and catching fire. And many of the ornaments hanging on my tree that I so carefully preserve were placed on those big, fat trees at the house on 55th Street.
\nI remember feeling so sorry for Grandma and her skinny little Charlie Brown tree. Now I look back and appreciate the simplicity with a fervor. I use an artificial tree now. The first one I’ve had since Mr. Virgo died. I opted for a slender one. I thought I’d be putting it in front of the window at the farm. Instead, it’s over here at Mr. FixIt’s. I never would have dreamed. This is the fifth Christmas without Mr. Virgo. To have found this new love and new joy and renewed zest for life is something I am profoundly grateful for.
\nIt’s the simple things I crave now. Things held by loved ones long gone. Gentle, loving companionship. Soft music. A warm fire. Good food. And a loving God that made all this possible for me. I am richly blessed. ❤️
\n“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”\nRomans 15:13 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-11-28T02:30:45-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/11/28/the-stick-tree.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","West Virginia","The Farm","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Peace","Holiday","Wisdom","Humbled","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/11/27/the-ghosts-of-christmas-past.html", "title": "The Ghosts of Christmas Past", "content_html": "
![\"Antique](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/ae88575c4b.jpg\")
\nI think this is my all-time favorite Christmas ornament. It’s been in my family as long as I can remember. I have a dozen or so of the smaller ones of the same era but this is the only big one that survived. I can still remember the box it came in. I am always extremely careful with all my ornaments when I store them, but this one especially so. It is so fragile and the paint has been flaking away for years.
\nThere are so many ornaments on this tree that have a story. Baby’s First Christmas. The angel topper from Grandma’s tree. Hand blown glass Santas. A sterling silver tree that was a gift to Mr. Virgo from The Ritz Carlton in 2011. An Old World Santa with the tip of his Christmas tree broken off that Mr. Virgo rescued from the trash at the Hotel Jerome in Aspen. Dozens of coveted hand made ornaments gathered from my friend Judy’s famous Christmas Ornament Exchange Parties. And, the seven Ne’Qua ornaments Mr. Virgo and I bought together on our trips…one for every Christmas we shared.
\nChristmas has always been my favorite holiday. I found an e-mail the other day where Mr. Virgo had asked me to get our Christmas decorations and stage them in the living room so we could put up our tree that weekend. We always put on White Christmas and decorated the tree together. The first Christmas after he died, I followed the tradition. I did fine until I got up the next morning and saw what I had done. I can’t tell you how close I came to taking the whole thing down and putting it away. I cried for days. It was brutal. The next Christmas was spent in my friend’s apartment, sitting in the dark, staring out the window as the snow slowly drifted down through the circles of light around the old fashioned street lamps of Marietta, Ohio. It was still brutal.
\nThe next two Christmases were spent with my Colorado family. That was much better. We decorated the tree together and baked a million cookies. It was fun.
\nEach holiday season is a little easier. Last year, even though we weren’t together, Mr. FixIt and I had started dating and had fallen in love. Holidays were again filled with light and love and joy. Mr. Virgo was still there with us in spirit but the sadness of his absence had abated somewhat. This year, Mr. FixIt and I did the majority of the tree trimming before he left for Florida. I finished up last night. I’m actually glad I had those few hours decorating alone. I turned on Christmas carols. (I can’t figure out how to turn on Mr. FixIt’s DVD player. ?) I held each special ornament in my hands and thought of the person who made it, or where I got it, or who was there when it was used year after year. The Ghosts of Christmas Past paraded through the room and through my mind and heart as I smiled through the tears that stung the back of my eyes as Tony Bennett crooned The Christmas Song.
\nThis is a new life…a different life. Another chance at love. Another gift of making memories. My heart is full to overflowing with the beauty of it all. God has been so good to me…us. ❤️
\n“A cheerful heart is good medicine…”\nProverbs 17:22 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-11-27T02:30:52-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/11/27/the-ghosts-of-christmas-past.html", "tags": ["Colorado","Family","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Peace","Holiday","Wisdom","Humbled","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/11/26/o-christmas-tree.html", "title": "O Christmas Tree", "content_html": "
![\"Christmas](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/1fffbc5f7c.jpg\")
\nLast Christmas, Mr. FixIt and I had just been dating a few weeks and December found us traveling in opposite directions. He went to Florida with his buddy and a few days later, I went to Colorado for a month with my kids. That’s the longest we’ve been apart since our first date and we neither one liked it. That’s when I figured things were pretty serious between us.
\nRight around Christmas, I was talking to him on the phone, lamenting that I didn’t get to put up a tree and have a Country Christmas at the farm. When I pulled in the driveway upon my return, I stopped in my tracks. While I was gone, this sweet man had decorated the farmhouse for me to come home to. Not only that, but he was standing there in his grey wool trousers, black dress shoes, a white shirt, and a red sweater vest. He looked so sharp and my heart nearly exploded! What a sweet and generous thing for him to do. He also bought me an indoor lighted Christmas tree, but we didn’t put it up because it was almost New Year’s when I got back from my trip. So, this is the first year we have a tree together.
\nSomeone mentioned they wanted to see a picture and someone else wanted to know about the mechanical angel, so I decided to post a video for you this morning. I still have ornaments to put on but didn’t get home till late last night so I’ll decorate more today.
\nI went to the funeral yesterday. As it turns out, Sis wasn’t just my grandma’s friend and neighbor. We were related…through marriage. I’ve told you before, you can’t throw a stick up this holler without hitting someone I’m related to. I got to see several cousins and met Sis’s son. He’s been my Facebook friend for ages. It’s such a small, small world.
\nI am so relieved that I can attend a funeral service now without wigging out. My friend’s son was killed in an accident a year or so ago. Another friend took one look at me during the visitation and said, “Let’s go.” She got me out in the air and my heart started beating again. You certainly don’t LIKE going to funerals, but you have to be able to express condolences without flipping out and it took me a while to get there. For the longest time, I seriously felt like I was just one crisis away from losing it altogether. That “one crisis theory” hung over my head like Damocles’ sword which increased my anxiety exponentially. Full blown grief is about as close to flat out crazy as you can get. I didn’t know if “I” would ever come back. Thank God I did. I couldn’t live like that forever.
\nMy sweetie is gone for his annual Florida guy’s trip so I’m spending the week catching up with “back burner” things…stuff I put off because it’s much more fun to go play with my bestest buddy. I need to be pretty productive this week! ❤️
\n“Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously.”\n2 Corinthians 9:6 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-11-26T02:30:10-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/11/26/o-christmas-tree.html", "tags": ["Family","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Holiday","Wisdom","Humbled"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/11/25/its-small-business-saturday.html", "title": "It’s Small Business Saturday", "content_html": "
![\"Shop](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/de9742a1bc.jpg\")
\nI avoid Black Friday like the plague. There is nothing in this whole wide world I…or anyone I know…need bad enough to risk life and limb for. I know there are great deals. I know the color glossies and TV commercials have been pumping everyone with the next great thing they can’t live without. I’m fortunate in that my kids were raised Jewish. They got a little present every night, then one big one on the last night of Hanukkah. They also had Santa but there was only one really extravagant year that I can remember. My kids and grandkids are frugal. They would much rather have money and go shopping at the after Christmas sales. More bang for their buck!
\nI have everything I need. I buy myself a plane ticket every year and go see my Colorado family. I don’t want anything I have to take care of or dust. This year, Mr. FixIt and I have decided instead of getting each other presents for Christmas, we’re going to carpet the family room. We’ll get much more enjoyment out of that than any appliance or sweater. And, it’s the gift that keeps on giving! I encourage you to shop small, hometown, mom & pop businesses this year. Big box stores may have better deals on cheaper goods…but they don’t have the vested interest in you personally that a small business owner has. I’ve owned my own business before…I know. This month makes or breaks a small business. Do your best to keep your money local.
\nI have a funeral to go to today. Sis Strickling passed away. That’s not her first name, nor is this her last name…my family always just called her Sis “Stricklin’”. She was born and raised on the country road a couple miles from the farm. Always sweet and with a smile on her face, my favorite memories of her were at the little one room church house where Grandma went. Sometimes she would come over to the farm for a visit while I was there. She kept her house neat and tidy. After her husband passed away, she went to Ohio to be with her kids. Her memory went at the end and I know it was so hard for her family. I praise God that he gives us an eternal home with no pain, no tears, and no illness. I know her husband and loved ones who went before her met her with open arms.
\nIt took the longest time for me to be able to go to a funeral after Mr. Virgo died. I wasn’t sure I would ever go to another one, but surprisingly…it’s BECAUSE he died that I can go easily now. If I begin to get anxious, I remind myself I am doing this for the loved ones. This has nothing to do with me…it’s all about them. I was so touched by everyone who came to my husband’s funeral. Their presence meant more to me than they will ever know. I remember so few individuals, but I do remember a sea of faces and that equates to a boatload of love. That love helped me through, so that’s why I go to funerals now.
\nMr. FixIt and I put up the Christmas tree last night. It’s our first one together. Blending traditions gave us ample opportunities to discuss and compromise. He wanted the tree in the dining room where you could see it from the road. I wanted it in the family room where WE could see it. We compromised by moving furniture around so we could put the tree in front of the picture window in the family room. This way we can see it from the side road coming in AND while we’re sitting in the family room. I’ll put lights in the dining room window so he can see it from the big road. Even through the top branches of the tree were pretty tippy, the mechanical angel HAD to go on top. I managed to wedge the branches around enough to support her and she is beautiful. Melding…it’s what you do when you keep adding to your family. At this point, if we got everyone I’m related to through marriages together, that would be one huge family portrait. I am so, so blessed to add so many branches to my family tree. ❤️
\n“May the Lord our God be with us as he was with our ancestors; may he never leave us nor forsake us.”\n1 Kings 8:57 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-11-25T02:30:30-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/11/25/its-small-business-saturday.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Humbled","Aging"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/11/24/and-soit-begins.html", "title": "And So...It Begins", "content_html": "
![\"Christmas](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/aa1b343fa7.jpg\")
\nThe other day I found myself with a little time on my hands and stopped at the Blennerhassett Hotel for a Starbucks. The Easter Seal Parade of Trees was on display so I took my coffee and wandered among the holiday decorations, getting inspiration. There were some stunning trees this year. The trees are decorated by volunteers, sponsored by local businesses, and auctioned off to the highest bidder. It’s a wonderful fund raiser for the Easter Seal Society and helps provided needed services for area physically and developmentally disabled children.
\nI grew up going to the Easter Seal Treatment Center. My big brother was born with cerebral palsy and went to therapy every week. He had physical, occupational, and speech therapy for as long as I can remember. One of my earliest memories was a play table with little doors. You went in and the door shut after you. It was designed to allow children with disabilities to stand up for a period of time. There were toys and puzzles you could play with on the table in front of you, but what really stuck with me was the milk and cookies we got at snack time. Even though I had no need of these services, I was allowed to attend many of the sessions because I totally understood my brother’s speech when others found it difficult.
\nMom learned to drive when my brother was first starting therapy so she didn’t have to rely on my dad to get us to school and therapy at the end of the day. I’ll never forget my mom’s friend Elaine trying to teach her to drive. I sat in the back as mom drove around and around City Park. At one point, we ran up an embankment and nearly hit a tree. Mom put her head down on the steering wheel and cried. She kept saying, “I can’t. I can’t do it!” And Elaine would pat her arm and say, “Wanda…you have these kids to take care of. Of course you can do this. Now, let’s try again.”
\nElaine was a saint. And…so was my mom. I look back now at what her life was like and I’m in awe of her. I wasn’t always a supportive child and I sure wish she was here now to receive this new appreciation I feel for her.
\nChristmas is such a special time of year. I love bringing beauty and light into the long, dark nights of winter. We came back last night from our Thanksgiving visit with my family and will work today to get some decorating done before Mr. FixIt leaves for Florida on Saturday. This will be our second Christmas together…my fifth without Mr. Virgo. Bittersweet becomes more and more sweet with time.
\nI hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving! I ate a lot, loved on my family, and took a nap!!! ❤️
\n“You’ll take afternoon naps without a worry, you’ll enjoy a good night’s sleep.”\nProverbs 3:24 MSG
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-11-24T02:30:07-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/11/24/and-soit-begins.html", "tags": ["Family","Travel","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Fun","West Virginia","The Farm","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Peace","Holiday","Wisdom","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/11/23/with-gratitude.html", "title": "With Gratitude", "content_html": "
![\"Ginny](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/a3ca25658f.jpg\")
\nIt’s deer season in West Virginia and I bagged my first deer yesterday. Unfortunately, it was with Mr. FixIt’s 2007 Tundra. There was no stopping and I did exactly what I was supposed to do. I didn’t swerve. I held steady. Fortunately, there’s not much damage to the truck but we will have to replace the bumper. I’ve never hit a deer before. One fell down in front of me once but I drove right over it and it jumped up and ran away. I am grateful we weren’t injured and the damage was minimal.
\nThe other night, Mr. FixIt and I were having dinner and talking about Old Mama Kitty being gone. He stopped with his fork halfway to his mouth and asked, “You don’t suppose she wandered into the cellar house when you were in there last week and got trapped, do you?” OMGosh! The look on my face must have been pure horror. He looked at me with such compassion and said, “Don’t worry…we’ll go right back out there and check.” We drove the twenty-two miles and I ran up to the building and checked but she wasn’t there. Im sad she is gone but I’m grateful I didn’t accidentally trap her and keep her from food and water.
\nWe visited my mom’s sister and brother and his wife yesterday. My aunts are having memory issues and my uncle is caring for them. So far they’re holding their own. Actually, the aunt whose dementia is really bad was having a pretty good day. She recognized me and told me she had been worried about me. She put her arm around my neck and pulled me close. She told me she loved me. She waved goodbye with a smile. I am grateful to have made that connection with my aunt.
\nMy uncle regaled us with funny stories all evening…one of which I thought to record. He told the story about the day they rolled the old farmhouse I’m living in down onto the new basement they built. We all laughed. I am grateful for this man’s strength, courage, and sense of humor. Most of all, I’m grateful for his heart…it is full of love!
\nI am grateful for my Colorado family. They are healthy and happy and enjoying their lives. My brother is doing well. I’ve more than doubled my family since bringing Mr. FixIt into my life. More people to love!
\nI am grateful to all of you for making a little space in your lives for my words. You all bless me every day. Thank you for indulging me in my stories. May you all be richly blessed.
\nHappy Thanksgiving! ❤️
\n“Make a joyful noise to the Lord, all the earth! Serve the Lord with gladness! Come into his presence with singing! Know that the Lord, he is God! It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture. Enter his gates with thanksgiving, and his courts with praise! Give thanks to him; bless his name! For the Lord is good; his steadfast love endures forever, and his faithfulness to all generations.”\nPsalms 100:1-5 ESV
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-11-23T10:36:49-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/11/23/with-gratitude.html", "tags": ["Family","Travel","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Fun","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Peace","Holiday","Wisdom","Humbled"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/11/22/little-lies.html", "title": "Little Lies", "content_html": "
![\"Pinky](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/0a23834061.jpg\")
\nIs there such a thing as a “little white lie”? I mean, isn’t a lie…a lie? Big or small, untruths between couples erode trust in a relationship. If you have a need to outright lie to your spouse, you might not be with the right person. And what about the sin of omission? Ok, I’ve been guilty of “rounding down a little” when reporting how much I spent on that little black dress I had to have or trying to maintain a secret surrounding a gift. And, if I’m going to be honest here, there have been times in my life when I have not been truthful in a relationship and I’m not married to that person anymore. Which brings up that point again…if you have a need to outright lie to your spouse, you might not be with the right person. I wasn’t way back when. Enough said.
\nI was thrilled when Mr. Virgo came along. He was a great communicator, which was quite refreshing for me. We told each other everything. We told each other stories. I loved his stories. He worked in 5-Star resorts, hotels, and restaurants around the world. He met fascinating people…celebrities, politicians, dignitaries, kings and queens. His stories were enthralling and he loved telling them as much as I loved hearing them.
\nSeveral weeks after Mr. Virgo died, I was going through his personal papers in his dresser and came upon things that shook me up. Things I didn’t know. Things I felt were out of character for the man I knew and loved. Oh, it wasn’t anything like a second family in another state or something of a criminal nature. It was credit cards I didn’t know about. A relationship he had had before me that he never told me about. A business he had lost that had debt I was unaware of. Little things, but little things add up to big things.
\nI didn’t know how to feel. I felt a little betrayed. I felt a little disappointed. I felt a little angry. It added to the sadness and devastation I was already feeling at his loss. I carried that around for a long time and never told anyone because I didn’t want to besmirch Mr. Virgo’s good name. And you know what happens when you hold things in…they rot and swell and become that abscess you need lanced or your soul will explode.
\nI’m sure I’m not the only person who went through this. But I’ve never really talked much about it till the other day I met someone going through the same thing I went through and I knew there was a post in there. I knew somewhere out there, there is at least one person who needs to hear how I handled that, so here we are.
\nWhen I first stumbled across information that I had not known when Mr. Virgo was alive, I was confused. I wasn’t sure exactly what I was looking at. Grief brain addles your mind anyway. Add conflicting information and I was stumped. I wrote things down, made notes, compared conversations till I had a pretty good idea what I was looking at. Then I started the process of reconciling that information and asked myself a number of questions.
\nDoes this new information change how you KNOW you feel about him…how you’ve felt about him since the beginning?
\nFor me, the answer was a resounding “No!”
\nDid he love me? “Yes…more than life itself!”
\nWhy did he not tell me? “He didn’t want to…for whatever reason…and that was his choice to make.”
\nIf I would have known this information before I married him, would I have gone through with the wedding? “Oh, h*** yeah!”
\nMr. Virgo is still the same man I knew and loved and grieve for. The only thing that has changed is thought. Yes, there was some debt to contend with that I wasn’t expecting. That is what life insurance policies are for…debt, funeral expenses, and living expenses till you can stand up and breathe again. It wasn’t much, but it helped me get through the messiness. The relationship he had before me that I didn’t know about? Who cares? He married me. The credit cards I didn’t know about? That is still a puzzle, but one I’ve had to let go of. In the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t matter.
\nUnless it’s something criminal, or there’s a whole secret family you didn’t know about, my advice is…let it go. Obsessing over things never changes the past. It only sullies the present and tarnishes future memories. They make mistakes…they sin…they’re human. Let it go. I prefer to preserve that special relationship I felt before I rummaged around in the bottom drawer of his dresser. It’s better this way. ❤️
\n“Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth.”\n2 Timothy 2:15 ESV
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-11-22T02:30:25-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/11/22/little-lies.html", "tags": ["Family","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Forgiveness"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/11/21/my-accidental-love.html", "title": "My Accidental Love", "content_html": "
![\"Old](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/5a7657ef16.jpg\")
\nOld Mama Kitty is gone. I haven’t seen her in six days. She’s always at the back door, right at supper time. There were a couple of times this summer when she was gone for a day or two, but never six. She’s old. I know that. Just this fall, she seemed to be telling me she was tired. She has one leg that trembles sometimes…and not necessarily because of a chill in the air.
\nBeing a farm cat, Mama is tough. She doesn’t take any guff from the younger boy cats. If they get too close to her feeding dish, she has no problem swatting them away…claws and fangs bared. They give her a wide berth on the front porch, arcing around her, well out of kitty reach with sly glances from the corner of their eyes. She has probably been to the vet once in her life and that was when she was spayed. She’s never been sick that I know of. She will act like she wants you to pet her, then she swats you if you linger too long. She’s one tough kitty.
\nI thought we’d lost her back in 2014 when I first came to the farm. I walked down to the road to get the mail and coming back, there…by the end of the driveway…was a yellow cat that had been hit by a car. I came up to the house to get my work gloves and a shovel. My aunt was still living on the farm at the time. I went to her and told her I was sorry, but Old Mama Kitty was hit by a car and was gone. I went back down and picked up the cat to take it up by the barn to bury it when…I saw the evidence. This was definitely NOT Old Mama Kitty. This was a boy! I wish I would have had the wherewithal to check that out before I told my aunt.
\nI had only had one cat in my life before coming to the farm. Ginger was yellow with deep gold stripes. I didn’t seem to be allergic to her as a teenager but the older I got, the more indoor cats bothered me. Ginger went to another home when I moved to England after I was married. Mom hadn’t wanted a cat in the first place. She just tolerated her for me.
\nI’ve always been more of a dog person. Dogs are easy to understand. Feed them. Throw the ball. Scratch the good places. Go for walks. They will worship the ground you walk on. Dogs have owners. Cats have staff. You are extra special if a cat loves you. It means you’ve met the criteria.
\nThe problem with pets is, unless you own a large bird or a turtle, they are going to die before you. And every time a pet dies, they take more of your heart away. I’ve had to put four dogs down in my lifetime. It kills me.
\nI don’t want to think of Mama Kitty as “gone”. But, this is what happens with farm animals sometimes. They seem to know when it is their time, I think. I feel a little guilty though. I’ve been away a lot the last couple of weeks helping Mr. FixIt clean and paint his house. I was at the farm every day to feed the cats and spend time with them. Then, six days ago, she just wasn’t there. I called and called and called. It’s sad because I really came to love her. She’s been around forever. She was my Uncle Bob’s cat. He died in 2005. It’s like losing a family member. I know there is still a slim chance she could come back, but I really think it’s time to let her go.
\nPope John Paul II stated that animals have souls and are important beings in God’s creation. And, since souls can go to heaven, it isn’t a stretch to picture our pets running and jumping on us when we get there. I hope to see all my fur babies when I get there!
\nI inherited Old Mama Kitty with the farm. She was my accidental love. And…I’ll really miss her. ❤️
\n“His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’”\nMatthew 25:23 ESV
\n", "date_published": "2017-11-21T02:30:28-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/11/21/my-accidental-love.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","West Virginia","The Farm","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Wisdom","Aging","The Cats"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/11/20/you-never-know.html", "title": "You Never Know", "content_html": "\n
You buy a desk…you need a chair, right? And not just any chair. I wanted an old banker’s chair. I found one on Facebook Marketplace. I went to pick it up Saturday. The woman I spoke with over the phone was lovely. I felt comfortable meeting her to pick up the chair.
\nThe house was back away from the road…the quintessential farm house. White with green shutters, a long covered porch. As soon as I drove up to the house, the garage door opened and I was greeted by a middle-aged woman. I’ll call her June. June directed me to the chair and helped bring it out to the truck. We stood in the driveway and chatted for the longest time. This was her parents’ place, she told me. Her dad died in July and her mom is starting the daunting process of downsizing. I told her my heart is with her in her loss…then I told her about Mr. Virgo. Suddenly her eyes lit up and she said, OMGosh! You write a blog! You’re Marshmallow Ranch!
\nThis always slays me when someone knows me. And I always go through a little mental inventory of my behaviors leading up to the moment of recognition. You never know who you might be talking to. I have a certain self-imposed regulation. I want to always put my best foot forward and exemplify good Christian values. It was wonderful to make June’s acquaintance.
\nThe family dinner party was wonderful. The only mishap was forgetting to take the candied yams out of the oven to serve. The company was delightful. I cooked for three days and I was exhausted when I posted this so I’ll catch up more with you tomorrow. ❤️
\n“She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.””\nProverbs 31:27-29 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-11-20T02:30:47-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/11/20/you-never-know.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Fun","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Peace","Holiday","Wisdom","Humbled","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/11/19/almost-heavenhomemade-apple-pies.html", "title": "Almost Heaven...Homemade Apple Pies!", "content_html": "
![\"Homemade](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/78f5f508bf.jpg\")
\nOne of the happiest places in the world for me is a kitchen. I used to bake competitively and had a huge kitchen back then. My last house had a rather small galley kitchen but I still managed to bake several times a week as Mr. Virgo had a sweet tooth. When I sold that house after his death, I lived much of the next three years in my camper. I don’t know if you have ever tried to bake in a camper oven but they are nothing like a home stove. The bottom of everything burned and I gave up trying to bake anything. There is a big country kitchen at the farm, but I traveled so much this last year, I really didn’t cook all that much. I kind of got out of the baking habit.
\nWe’re having our early Thanksgiving dinner with Mr. FixIt’s family today. I actually started cooking Friday evening. I cooked a bag of cranberries and put them in the fridge in a covered container. I have the sweet potatoes parboiled and in the fridge ready to assemble with butter and brown sugar today. The fresh green beans and ham have been cooked and will just need reheated. Yesterday I fried bacon and added chopped pecans and dried cranberries. I parboiled Brussels sprouts and tossed them with the bacon mixture in my huge electric skillet, then put the whole thing in the fridge. I mixed up two pans of dressing…one sage, the other with nuts and cranberries…sealed them with foil and put them in the fridge as well. Then I made two pumpkin pies and two apple pies.
\nToday I have to bake a 20-pound turkey and a ham, hot rolls, the two pans of dressing, and the sweet potatoes. I’ll heat everything else up and time it all to be ready at 4:00. The table is set. The ice is made. We are expecting thirteen for dinner. I’ve got this!
\nThe family room is finished. It took three coats of Kilz and two coats of Valspar with primer to cover that dark green but we got it done. I didn’t get curtains made in time for dinner, but that will come soon enough. I sat there enjoying the fruits of our labor, listening to soft music in the background as I wrote this. It was very warm yesterday…nearly 70, but rain came in at dusk and it will continue to get colder as the week progresses.
\nAll but the most stubborn of leaves have fallen now, the color all but gone. I have such vivid memories of going out to the farm for Thanksgiving dinners and having it look just like this. It’s funny how our senses take us back so quickly, isn’t it? The sights, sounds, and smells transport me over six decades and brings me so close to my mom and my grandma. I miss them both so much. And I miss my Colorado family. The grandchildren are growing so fast. I always say this, but I wish Colorado and West Virginia were closer. It’s hard when your heart has two homes. ❤️
\n“She gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family and portions for her female servants. She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks.”\nProverbs 31:15-17 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-11-19T02:30:46-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/11/19/almost-heavenhomemade-apple-pies.html", "tags": ["Family","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Positive Energy","Fun","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Peace","Holiday","Wisdom","Humbled","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/11/17/its-just-a-phase.html", "title": "It’s Just a Phase", "content_html": "
![\"Phases\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/737daa8371.jpg\")
\nMr. FixIt and I graduated from the same high school class. Our classmates started gathering once every two or three months for dinner. We are “of an age” where loss is too real and we want to enjoy each other while we can. Last night was just such a gathering…and it was wonderful. There were forty-two of us…our largest gathering yet outside of an actual class reunion.
\nBeing the social butterfly that I am, I went from table to table to visit so I could speak with everyone, at least for a few minutes. Some of these people I’ve known since first grade. They are all\nImportant to me, whether I’ve known them forever or not. Some of my dearest friends were talking about Mr. FixIt and I. One of them mentioned I’m in a new phase. She wasn’t crazy about my “I downsized so you all should too” phase. lol I don’t blame her…I can beat a subject to death sometimes.
\nWe’re having a dozen or so family members over for an early Thanksgiving Sunday. The family room is nearly finished. Another coat of Kilz on the second door then the trim color can go on. A little touch up here and there, then up comes the tape and drop cloths, a good vacuuming, and move the furniture back then I can start cooking.
\nYes, this IS a new phase. Not totally uncharted territory. I’ve been in relationships before. I’ve nested and played house and been Susie Homemaker. This time around is different somehow. It’s more deliberate…easing into it, savoring each moment like a fine French wine or an aged Camembert. Feeling the silky smoothness of love and fun and laughter and even the serious moments. I love this phase. Remember how you wanted to stop your kids at three…at least for a while? Three-year-olds are perfect. They have gained some reasoning skills and they are sweet as sugar. That’s how this feels. I want it to just be like this…forever and always. I’m a realist…and a dreamer. ❤️
\n“The end of a matter is better than its beginning, and patience is better than pride. Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools. Do not say, “Why were the old days better than these?” For it is not wise to ask such questions. Wisdom, like an inheritance, is a good thing and benefits those who see the sun.”\nEcclesiastes 7:8-11 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-11-17T02:30:27-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/11/17/its-just-a-phase.html", "tags": ["Hope","Fun","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Humbled","Aging","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/11/16/things-that-make-me-smile.html", "title": "Things That Make Me Smile", "content_html": "
![\"Antique](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/b23533f910.jpg\")
\nI was rummaging around in the basement out at the farm the other day, looking for painting supplies, when I saw the old stove in this great light and had to stop and capture it. I’m not sure why my Grandma did most of her canning down in the basement. I know this past summer the basement was so humid mold was growing on everything. I had to buy a dehumidifier to put down there to keep the humidity below 50%. When she got this baby cranked up with a canner full of boiling water (not to mention the wringer washer) the condensation literally ran down the walls.
\nThere is a good-sized triangular patch of ground across the creek from the house that was the truck garden. This was where most of the vegetables for the table were grown. The canning vegetables, as well as the strawberries for the farmer’s market, were grown back up on the hill. There was a footbridge that crossed the creek to the garden. My uncle ran an electric fence around the garden to keep the deer out. Grandma grew a ton of green beans, corn, cabbage, cucumbers, onions, and tomatoes in that little patch of ground. The potatoes were grown on a similar, though much smaller, triangular patch along the end of the driveway. I spent many hours stringing beans and shucking corn, scalding and peeling tomatoes, and helping any way I could on canning days.
\nOne year we drove all the way to Virginia to buy peaches. I remember they were as big as softballs. Mom was helping Grandma can them and neither one knew the other had stirred sugar into the syrup to pour over them in the jars. When they opened the first jar later on, they were sickeningly sweet. Mom felt so bad…she thought she had ruined Grandma’s beautiful peaches. But Grandma said, “Sis, don’t you worry about a thing. We’ll just make us some peach butter and not have to add any sugar.” They cooked them down and that was the best peach butter ever!
\nNow, this old stove stands silently in a back corner of the basement…rusted and resting on cinder blocks for legs. This appliance was from a time of resourceful ingenuity… a time when you never threw anything away. You made do. You “recycled” by reusing. You reduced waste simply by being too poor to buy something better. The Baby Boomers were on the tail end of that generation. Ours was a disposable generation. Cheaply made plastic and paper products have filled countless landfills. Grandma didn’t even have trash service till very late in life. You burned what little paper you threw away. You fed table scraps to the cats or hogs. You reused the glass jars that you canned your food in. I’m glad this stove is still here…even though it doesn’t work…it would never be safe enough to use. But it’s like going into the museum of my youth when I go downstairs. And it’s one of the the things that makes me smile. ❤️
\n“So then, brothers, stand firm and hold to the traditions that you were taught by us, either by our spoken word or by our letter.”\n2 Thessalonians 2:15 ESV
\n", "date_published": "2017-11-16T02:30:12-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/11/16/things-that-make-me-smile.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","West Virginia","The Farm","Growth","Gratitude","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Humbled"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/11/15/the-long-goodbye.html", "title": "The Long Goodbye", "content_html": "![\"Vintage](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/266ba1783d.jpg\")
\nI have a longtime friend…I’ll call her Betty. Betty is retired. She was a child and family counselor…and a darned good one. She is kind, gentle, tender in her approach. She was an intuitive therapist. She raised a beautiful family. She had struggles along the way, as we all do. Some of hers were really difficult. But, in the end, she is still with the same loving spouse, and her children are thriving.
\nSeveral months ago, Betty contacted me and asked me to go to lunch with her. It was there that she revealed she had been diagnosed with dementia. It was hereditary, she explained. She already saw the signs and was struggling a bit. She wanted to thank me for teaching her to quilt because it has been a favorite pastime for her the last few years. Her legacy is in the quilts she stitched by hand as well as the books she wrote.
\nBetty’s biggest worry, she told me over lunch, was being a burden to her family and friends. She told me she was going to become more involved in Facebook as a way to stay engaged and interested. She didn’t want to disappear into the shadows of her mind. I encouraged her to write and remain present as long as she could. In true Betty fashion, she turned her Facebook page into a lesson…of love, of courage, of perseverance. She used to send me private messages occasionally. Bringing an article to my attention. Sharing a travel photo. Sharing a memory. Then the private messages stopped. A few days ago, she shared that her dementia was worsening…right on schedule. She doesn’t leave the house much anymore. She realizes how much she is forgetting and she hopes she isn’t boring any of us. I told her this:
\nWe love you. We cannot fully understand what you are going through. But, we can certainly empathize. It must feel like you are leaving on a cruise ship and the people on the shore are getting further and further away till they disappear. But here’s the good news. The land to which you will eventually arrive has streets paved in gold. There will be no more illness and pain. Only love and joy. And when you can no longer feel our hands, turn around and reach for His. He is always waiting for us with arms wide open.
\nIt’s been a long goodbye. And while I will miss her sweet, gentle posts with pictures of “Home”, I know for a fact she is surrounded by people who love her very much. They will support her as best they can. They will guard her and protect her and wish her bon voyage. I do not know where she will go when she gets lost in her mind. But I hope it will be pleasant and not painful for her. Safe travels, my friend. I will see you on the other side. ❤️
\n“The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.”\nPsalm 23:1-6 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-11-15T02:30:40-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/11/15/the-long-goodbye.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Humbled","Aging"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/11/14/letting-out-your-inner-child.html", "title": "Letting Out Your Inner Child", "content_html": "
![\"Mickey](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/dda73d891b.jpg\")
\nI saw something yesterday that totally melted my heart. Daughter #1 is at Disney World with her family and her brother-in-law’s family. She was standing with Mickey and Minnie Mouse. There’s a long story why this was so touching for me.
\nI was a single mom with #1 by the time she was two years old. It was not easy. We lived in HUD housing. We got WIC and food stamps. There were roaches and the people downstairs abused their kids. I looked in the open door one day when I walked by and my neighbor yelled at me to keep moving or she’d “come up behind me and slit my $&@?ing throat!” It was NOT a healthy scenario and if I had been any brighter or bolder, I would have packed up my stuff and hightailed it back to West Virginia. But that wasn’t what I wanted for my little girl. I wanted her to have every opportunity that I didn’t have growing up and I knew if I worked hard enough, I’d get her out of there. We would have a good life.
\nAnd things did get better. I got a really good job. I found a roommate, I lived frugally. I got good daycare. She was never wanting for the basics, but there wasn’t much extra. Just lots of love. Then, we met Hubby #2. He was applying to medical school. We worked really hard. He was a good daddy and a great provider…even though it was many years before we started making any money.
\nWe moved to a small town when my ex finished residency and joined a practice. We were thrilled to be in the mountains and a lovely community. Daughter #1 was going into 7th grade…a tough age to make such a big move. The kids at school only knew her as the “new doctor’s daughter”. There was a group of kids out on the lawn one day, talking about how hard it was to not have money for nice things. My daughter spoke up and said she totally understood that. The kids scoffed and she told them, her dad wasn’t BORN a doctor. There were many nights we ate a box of generic mac & cheese and a tomato out of the yard. She had a genuine appreciation for where she came from and she gained the respect of all the kids.
\nStill, we didn’t really start making a decent living till she was nearly finished with high school. Then we had her little sister. My girls are nearly sixteen years apart. It was a different world raising the two of them. The level of affluence was drastically different and the little one definitely made out when it came to vacations. My younger one was only two or three the first time we took her to Disney World. By then, her older sister was in college. I never did get to take my oldest to see Mickey and Minnie…something she never, ever let me forget, even though she understood why.
\nShe’s been to Disneyland a couple of times with my son-in-law’s family. But never Disney World. Not till this week. I’ve been going on her Facebook page several times a day to see the pictures she posts. Yesterday…there she was. Beaming. Standing between Mickey and Minnie, grinning from ear to ear. The post simply read, “Six-year-old me is happy.” It made me smile. It warmed my heart. She is showing her children a good time. She is sharing her joy with them. She’s such a good mom and I’m so proud of her. I’m proud of both of my daughters. And…I’m happy they know how to let their inner child out to play. ❤️
\n“Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.”\n1 Peter 3:4 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-11-14T02:30:05-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/11/14/letting-out-your-inner-child.html", "tags": ["Family","Travel","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Fun","Growth","Gratitude","Love","Wisdom","Aging"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/11/13/when-things-get-messy.html", "title": "When Things Get Messy", "content_html": "
![\"Painting](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/8b9cda10b8.jpg\")
\nThis is the part I hate about home improvement projects…living through the mess till it gets finished. I have done this countless times in my life. You can’t avoid it if you are a homeowner. I did this and then some when my mom died and I prepared to sell her house. She wouldn’t let me do anything to her house when she was living because it meant she would have to throw something away. I completely redid the kitchen and bathroom, painted the whole house, and refinished the hardwood floors…all by myself. It’s ever so much more fun to do a project with someone…especially if you work well together as a team. We took yesterday off, went to church, then out to the farm to feed cats. And today we are back at it.
\nAs I sat down to write this post, a notification came through on my phone. There are nearly a hundred women from Sisters on the Fly down in Port Aransas doing hurricane relief. The very day the hurricane hit, the call went out on the Sisters on the Fly Facebook page. Someone picked up the ball and started The Sister Corps. They immediately started recruiting women to go south to help with the cleanup efforts as they knew help would be needed beyond the immediacy of the storm. The Sister Corps has been posting pictures of the mounds of trash out in front of the houses where they are working. Homes are bare to the studs where drywall must be replaced because of flooding. Bathrooms and kitchens are being replaced. Carpeting and ruined flooring has been ripped out. It makes me look at this room with a whole new vision.
\nWe are freshening this room…not salvaging it. We are making a choice to change outdated colors and carpeting, not replacing everything because of a natural disaster. Again, God humbles me when I get too “uppity” for my own good. This is a joy…a blessing. We are wealthy beyond our wildest dreams. We are rich in love and the bountiful blessings of not one, but two homes to live in. We have the money to buy a few gallons of paint without having to go through insurance adjusters and contractors and estimates to do so. I will look at this project with new eyes today when I am privileged to pick up a paint brush and know I have a comfortable bed to sleep in tonight. I know where my family is sleeping tonight. I know we have food in the pantry and a little money in the bank.
\nI want to share with you another way God works in my life. The other day, I received notice I needed to make a change in my insurance. I’ve been on the healthcare.gov website and on the phone a few times choosing New coverage. It’s an affordable policy, but still…money I wasn’t necessarily planning on spending. As I looked through the choices, I prayed. “God, show me what I need. I’ll worry about filling out the paperwork…you worry about how I’ll afford what I need.” God always, always provides. You want to know how I know this? Because, yesterday after church, Mr. Fixit and I went to the post office to pick up the mail and there were, not one but…TWO checks in there. Not enough to pay for a full month of insurance. But enough to cover my tithe for the next three months.
\nThis is how God works. He has countless, countless blessings for YOU. They have your name on them…specifically. And he so wants to give them to you. But…he waits for you to ask for them. Don’t come out of the chute asking for those blessings directly, either. Come into the conversation thanking Him for the blessings he has already showered on you. An attitude of gratitude is a fair way to start a prayer when you are asking for more.
\nThank you, God…for the unexpected bounty you have blessed me with. I am so grateful. ❤️
\n“Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this,” says the Lord Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it.”\nMalachi 3:10 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-11-13T02:30:22-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/11/13/when-things-get-messy.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Humbled","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/11/12/the-sentinels.html", "title": "The Sentinels", "content_html": "
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/81e1358a02.jpg\")
\nWe survived the first day of painting…barely! It wasn’t a problem working together. That part was awesome! We put on ‘70s music and be-bopped around the living room, dancing and singing and having a grand time making each other laugh. Till we had to move the treadmill out of the corner and into the middle of the room to paint around it. The part you walk on folds up and you pull back on the entire thing to make it stand on two wheels. This allegedly makes it move easier. Well, not so on carpet. I bent down and grabbed the front legs and helped Mr. FixIt move this thing several feet. I’m not sure what happened, but when we set the front end down, it came down like a shot and the handles slammed me in the side of the head so hard it literally knocked me off my feet and sent me flying about six feet. It didn’t hurt as bad as it surprised me. And of course, scared Mr. FixIt to death. I laid there on the floor for a couple minutes to let the bells stop ringing in my head and got up. I’m fine, thank God!
\nWe finished painting the ceiling in time for the kickoff of the WVU game so I left Mr. FixIt to his own devices and headed to the farm to feed the cats. The last couple of years, I’ve been trying to embrace fall and not hate it as the harbinger of winter. I’m trying to embrace winter, too…but, one thing at a time. As I drove across the two-lane, I made myself look at the landscape. In the past I would just feel sadness that the leaves were gone. This time, I asked myself to name something lovely. Suddenly…I saw texture. Where leaves were densely packed in the summer months, bare trees now stand and you can see the ridges and waterways that they line. “Name one thing that’s lovely.” The sycamore. They stand like ghostly sentinels, guardians of the creek banks, their white arms stretched toward the sky. Their limbs are crooked like a gnarly witch’s hand, the last of their dinner-plate sized leaves clinging curled and crispy to the uppermost limbs. Their round, light mustard-brown seed pods dangle like ornaments silhouetted against the sky.
\nOnce I noticed them, I saw sycamores everywhere. They were so beautiful. As I drove back from the farm, the sun was setting and the light turned rose-gold. The trees on the hillside looked like the tips of paintbrushes dipped in yellow and gold, orange and red…only the tippy-top leaves were left. Soon the winter winds will strip all but the most hardy leaves and the twigs and branches will create a mosaic against a thin blue sky. There was a hard freeze last night…a hoar frost still clinging to the frozen grass. As I pulled into the driveway at Mr. FixIt’s house, ten deer were out grazing in the field. I sat there for a while, contemplating. It was a good day. This is a good life. I am healthy, loved, secure…happy. I smiled and went inside to start supper. ❤️
\n“I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”\nPhilippians 4:12-13 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-11-12T02:30:11-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/11/12/the-sentinels.html", "tags": ["Positive Energy","West Virginia","The Farm","Gratitude","Grace","Peace","Wisdom","The Cats","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/11/11/the-closet-christian.html", "title": "The Closet Christian", "content_html": "
![\"Rain](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/6dcd069dda.jpg\")
\nSometimes it’s hard to walk the talk. And sometimes it’s even more difficult to talk the walk. I shied away from Christianity for many, many years after being frightened by a little ol’ banty rooster of a man. He was a circuit preacher, all hellfire and brimstone. As an adult, I can appreciate where that style of preaching is coming from and what affect it has on my spirit. But, as a seven-year-old, it literally scared the pee out of me and I ran in the opposite direction. I walked a long journey away from Jesus. I couldn’t be an atheist because I knew God. It was this Jesus guy that gave me fits. I rectified that by becoming Jewish for 27 years. It wasn’t till I was 51 that I became a Christian. And, even then, I was a closet Christian.
\nI never wanted to be that person. You know, that stereotypical church lady who can’t carry on a conversation without “Praise Jesus” this and “Praise Jesus” that. I’ve since learned you can…and SHOULD…let others know that you are a Christian by the way you act and talk. You can do this without shouting “Hallelujah” in the produce section when the Olathe Sweet Corn arrives. (Although, that actually may be justified!) I took closet Christianity to the extreme though. I was like the Unabomber in my hoodie and shades, being very careful not to expose my true identity. Some of that has fallen away with age. I don’t care as much what people think about me. Mostly it’s a conscious decision.
\nI had lunch with a dear friend Thursday. We met at Bob Evans…a busy chain restaurant where I can get a good breakfast any time of the day. We hadn’t seen each other for quite some time so there was much catching up to do. We talked about the kids and our new loves. We chatted about our travels and holiday plans. And we talked liberally about God and our faith walk. It was an easy conversation…the kind of comfort you only find with close friends.
\nAfter about an hour or so, a woman walked over and placed her hand on my arm. “I overheard you talking about the Lord. Thank you! Isn’t He wonderful?” Yes, yes He is. I appreciated the woman’s gesture. She was a true Believer and wanted to share that moment with me. That was fine, but what meant more to me was this…if SHE, as a Believer, overheard our conversation, then there just might have been someone there who may never have had the opportunity to hear someone praising God over hash browns and scrambled eggs.
\nIncorporating our love for God into our daily conversations doesn’t have to come in the form of that guy with the sandwich board in front of Taco Bell shouting about the end times. That’s the quickest way to turn people off of any religion, in my humble opinion. I prefer a more organic approach.
\nDon’t hide your light under a basket. Let it shine! ❤️
\n“Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.”\nMatthew 5:15-16 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-11-11T02:30:29-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/11/11/the-closet-christian.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Humbled"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/11/10/brushing-up-against-the-past.html", "title": "Brushing Up Against The Past", "content_html": "
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/e40973f790.jpg\")
\nToday is Veteran’s Day. Every Veteran’s Day, I sent Mr. Virgo a note thanking him for his service. His father was a veteran. His late daughter was a veteran. My dad, my uncle, my first husband, my niece, my late father-in-law…all veterans. Mr. Virgo had military honors at his funeral. I cannot hear taps without feeling a catch in my throat. This time of year brings him closer to the surface.
\nThe other day, one of my dear friends posted a video. In it, she addressed her friends and family. Her nose was red from crying. She sniffled as tears slowly dripped down her cheeks. This is the angelversary week of her husband’s death. It hits her hard every year and even though it’s been eleven years, she relives his final days over and over. It broke my heart. And, of course, it made me think of Mr. Virgo. His was a sudden death. No warning. No long goodbyes. Thankfully, no suffering. I cannot imagine a lingering death. It crushes me.
\nWhile I haven’t cried for him in quite some time, that doesn’t mean I never will again. It certainly doesn’t mean I’m through with grief and loss. That’s something that is forever imprinted in the fibers of my being. But I will say this…I don’t let myself “go there” very often. I used to meditate on him. I felt it was necessary to purge myself of as many tears as possible to clean out my heart from this terrible pain. When tears wouldn’t come, I would look at a picture of him in his casket taken at the viewing… white turtleneck, ivory sweater, hair carefully combed, glasses missing from the CPR efforts. I know that sounds absolutely macabre, but somehow I needed that pain to burn itself out or the fire was going to consume me. I knew this without a doubt.
\nTime and distance has softened Mr. Virgo’s death somehow. It’s like looking at the horizon without my glasses. I see the line…it’s just blurred. If I concentrate, I can bring it back into focus because it’s always there…just beyond where the light spills over. But, something interesting happens when he brushes up against my mind now. When I get close to the memories, I “feel” him instead of “see” him. I mean…literally. While there are some passages in the Bible that allow for a little wiggle room in the idea of “ghosts”, Evangelical Christians believe that we are absent from this place once we die. However, it isn’t far fetched to believe that God may use visions, smells and touch to evoke loving memories of loved ones who have passed.
\nThe other night, Mr. FixIt and I were talking and he said the sweetest thing. He said, “How can we love each other this much?” Immediately, I felt something brush up over my right arm. It surprised me and I sat very still. I looked down at my arm and thought hard. “Do it again.” I whispered in my mind. And there it was…a distinct “touch”…like static electricity on my right forearm. I smiled and looked up at Mr. FixIt. I don’t know how we can love each other this much, but we do.
\nAnd…I’ve a feeling someone else approves. ❤️
\n“We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord.”\n2 Corinthians 5:8 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-11-10T02:30:35-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/11/10/brushing-up-against-the-past.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Humbled","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/11/09/what-have-i-done.html", "title": "What Have I Done???", "content_html": "
![\"Computer](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/a778e52dce.jpg\")
\nOMGosh! I broke my absolute cardinal rule yesterday and…gasp…bought a piece of furniture! I know, I know…you all were with me when I downsized and I absolutely SWORE I would never accumulate “stuff” again. BUT…things are different now. A lot different. I’m not living in a camper, for one thing. For the last three years, my desktop computer has been riding in my camper, under the bed, in an airtight plastic storage tub. There have been numerous times I’ve needed to use it and I have to go out, prop up the bed, haul it out, and put it away when I’m done. Ok, ok…I’m rationalizing. Here’s what happened.
\nI had to run to town yesterday for an appointment and on my way back to the house, I saw a sign that said “Grand Opening!” It was a consignment store. Who can pass up a good consignment store, right? My truck pulled in, all on its own. I had no choice but to follow. I browsed around and they had some beautiful pieces of furniture. I was first attracted to an old rolltop desk. It was small, and a little beat up. Mr. FixIt has a nice rolltop desk…much nicer than this one. I went on and looked at other things. When I came back around, I asked the clerk about the desk. He said, “You know, if it were me and I had the room, I’d be looking at this one. Much better piece of furniture.” He opened the doors and the drawers and showed me the solid oak construction. The top opens and there’s a place for the monitor, a drawer for the keyboard, and a separate cabinet for the CPU. It is in two pieces to make it easier to transport. The selling point for me was the price. The piece originally sold for $1800. It had been priced for sale in the consignment shop for $500…a decent price for a sold piece of furniture of this quality. However, it was marked down to $250. So, I own a piece of furniture.
\nThat’s two pieces, actually. I also own the jelly cupboard in the kitchen at the farm. Oh, and a recliner. Hmmmmm….I am accumulating. Not excessively, but still. It doesn’t feel as scary to put down some roots as it did in the first few years after Mr. Virgo died. I didn’t want to feel a sense of permanence then. Permanence meant real loss when things headed south. I needed to feel untethered…free. I didn’t have the strength to be needed…even by inanimate objects. As long as it fit in my truck and my camper, I was just fine. And like I said, things are different now. A lot of healing has occurred. Time has passed. A relationship has been established. A home is being created. Two homes, actually.
\nMr. FixIt lives exactly twenty-two miles from the farm. He lives on five acres out in the country. He generously shares his space with me. Mi casa es su casa. My house is your house. He is just as comfortable at the farm as I am at his place. And neither of us are giving up our space. We stay a little here, a little there, and then have our own space to retreat to when we need to recharge. It’s the perfect arrangement for the time being. I became very independent after losing Mr. Virgo. While I missed him, certainly…I also came to appreciate the stillness of my own breath. Mr. FixIt and I both like our alone time. Although…truth be told…whenever we are apart, we miss each other terribly. This whole relationship thing is growing on both of us. I suppose, for me, there is still an element of fear deep down inside. That “What if something happened to him” thing. I know I can’t live my life in fear. I won’t. But, there’s something to be said for taking your time in any given situation. After all, there’s no biological time clock ticking here. There’s absolutely nothing to be in a hurry over.
\nMr. FixIt and I have been together for a year now. I was thinking about this yesterday. I’m in a really good place now, emotionally. I haven’t had a “bad night” in a really long time. My anxiety level is at an all time low. I’m comfortable in my own skin. I’m happy. I am blessed. And…I am grateful. God has answered so many prayers. I think I’m just going to go along for the ride and enjoy…everything. Life is so sweet! ❤️
\n“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away.”\n1 Corinthians 13:4-10 ESV
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-11-09T02:30:08-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/11/09/what-have-i-done.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","West Virginia","The Farm","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/11/07/he-will-cover-you-with.html", "title": "He Will Cover You With His Feathers...", "content_html": "
![\"He](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/663e764471.jpg\")
\nMr. Fixit is doing some cleaning up and updating at his house. We make a really good team working on projects together and he is constantly amazed at the things I can do. I think it really shocked him at first when I did jobs around the farm that may have been labeled “men’s work” in an earlier time. He’ll still watch me do something and shake his head. I usually look at him and say “What?!” He’ll laugh and say, “You amaze me, that’s all. You’re a remarkable woman!” I love that. I love being considered a remarkable woman by a man I greatly admire. It makes me feel both feminine and empowered at the same time.
\nSomewhere in the midst of moving things around at his house the other day, Mr. Fixit stumbled upon a book called Lists to Live by for Every Married Couple. Even though we aren’t married, we figured since we’re a couple, the book ought to work for us as well. Every evening we sit down and read a few pages and discuss the lists. There are lists of activities to do, things to say, things NOT to say, good habits…you know, common sense things that keep marriages (and couples in relationships) on an even keel as they navigate this journey called life. And even though this isn’t our first rodeo, it’s our first in this particular one, so it doesn’t hurt to read.
\nI like that these lists have faith-based items on them. Pray for your partner. Tell your partner you are praying for them. Read the Bible. Go to church. Mr. Fixit hadn’t been to church for thirty-five years until I came along. I never pushed him to go. I just told him that’s where I’d be every Sunday morning. And I was. And one day he said he might go with me every once in awhile. Not every week…but, once in a while. I smiled and said I would love that. Again…no pressure. Then came the Sunday he went with me. Easter, I think. When we came out, his eyes were lit up with a fire! He was so excited. He’d never experienced church like this. He had always fallen asleep in church. THIS church grabbed his attention and kept him engaged the entire service. He’s gone with me every Sunday since unless one or the other of us is traveling.
\nThis is something new for me, as well. To have someone want to go to church with me every week. To hold my hand during worship and prayer. Someone to sing with me. A voice I recognize praying next to me. This has become a big part of our bonding experience. There should be three people in every relationship…you, your significant other, and God. If both of you keep God at the top of the triangle and you both strive to climb closer to Him…you cannot help but get closer to each other. It’s simple geometry.
\nWhen trouble comes into our life, either in the form of tragedy in the news or something that affects us on a more personal level, we remember that God wraps us in His feathers and we can find refuge there. We needn’t be afraid of the things of the world. I watched the news again last night and saw the follow up stories surrounding the shooting in Texas. I watched the mother, the pastor’s wife, whose fourteen year old daughter was killed. I saw her model grace in the wake of an unspeakable loss. And this verse came to me. What a remarkable example of trust. Of faith. Of absolute assurance she will see her child again. I was in awe.
\nMy heart is with those mourning losses today. My prayer is they will find refuge under His wings. ❤️
\n“He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day,”\nPsalm 91:4-5 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-11-07T02:30:26-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/11/07/he-will-cover-you-with.html", "tags": ["Faith","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Wisdom","Forgiveness"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/11/06/when-its-all-bad-news.html", "title": "When It’s All Bad News", "content_html": "
![\"Cross\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/89d0881981.jpg\")
\nI watched the news last night and was reminded why I don’t watch the news. The sadness in my gut, the fear in the front of my mind, the sorrow for families of loved ones lost to senseless tragedy is unbearable. The news came through an alert on my cell phone as we left church yesterday. I grabbed Mr. Fixit’s hand and shared. His jaw clenched as he gripped my hand, silently taking it all in. Thinking…no doubt…that it could have been us.
\nChurch. Church is where we’re supposed to feel utterly safe. Yesterday’s tragedy in Texas was the third mass shooting in the last seventeen months…all of which were among the worst in U.S. history, according to USA Today. I don’t know about you, but I look around more these days. I wonder about people I don’t know. I ask myself if they could hurt me…or my loved ones. It’s taxing. I’m feeling the strain of fear. I don’t like this. I don’t like worrying. I don’t like wondering, not IF, but WHEN will it strike close to home?
\nThere is evil loose in this world and we’ve been rocked to sleep…complacent in our busyness. In our rush to beat the clock and get the most out of every day. Lists need to be made and checked off. Appointments need to be scheduled and kept. And the enemy doesn’t give a darn about any of it. He is only here to seek, kill, and destroy. Not only physically, but mentally and emotionally. He distracts us with the sparklies then swoops in with the spear…or, in this case, an assault rifle.
\nWhen bad things happen and you are simultaneously grieving, everything is compounded and spins out of control. It’s difficult to remember there IS control in this world. There IS a winner. There IS a great comforter. When I hear and see reports of things like the shooting yesterday in Texas, I am inclined to feel fear. That fear is from the enemy. However, when I turn to God, He reminds me to put my trust in Him. The enemy whispers…”Ahhhh, yes. But will that bring back the twenty plus lost yesterday? What good is your trust if your God can’t save His people?”
\nThe enemy will not deter my faith. God doesn’t cause these horrific tragedies to occur. It breaks His heart to see his children suffer. What He DOES want is for us to turn to Him for comfort and solace in times of trouble. He wants us to continue to love. We love….because first, He loved us. There will always be senseless tragedies that we can’t explain. But…there will come a day when the things of this world will melt away and we will be freed from the shackles of fear and pain.
\nI pray for the families of the innocents lost. I pray for the victims of this senseless shooting. I pray for the first responders and the citizens of this very small town in Texas where everyone knew everyone else. I pray for the family and friends of the shooter who may have known something was off…may have tried to get him help…may have never dreamed this could have happened. And I pray for the soul of the shooter. He could not possibly have been in his right mind so I pray for any healthcare workers who may have tried to help him but couldn’t. I pray for the pastor of the church where the shootings occured and for his wife. They were not at the church yesterday…but their fourteen-year-old daughter was one of those killed.
\nNo, I will not roll over…I will not let satan win by becoming consumed with fear and loathing. I will keep my faith in God and let Him sort the rest out. That being said…I will make my feelings about gun safety known to my elected officials. God wants us to turn to Him…but he needs us to suit up and show up and go into battle, too. ❤️
\n“When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.”\nPsalms 56:3 ESV
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-11-06T02:30:02-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/11/06/when-its-all-bad-news.html", "tags": ["Faith","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Grace","God","Peace","Wisdom","Forgiveness"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/11/03/the-promise.html", "title": "The Promise", "content_html": "
![\"Before](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/d646665210.jpg\")
\nThree thousand seven hundred sixty-four. That’s how many days came between these two pictures. On the left, the day I married Mr. Virgo. Is it any wonder that handsome man wanted to marry me??? Look at that fresh face, smooth skin, dark hair with just a smattering of gray. Where are the wrinkles around my mouth? Where is all the proof of my sorrow and my joy?
\nIt was a warm spring day stuck smack dab between storms. They shoveled the snow off the balcony so we could get married outside. I had shopped and shopped for the perfect dress, finally finding it on eBay for $45! It was too big so my friend took it in for me. I loved the beads on the silk with hand painted flowers. I thought I looked like a million bucks!
\nIf I had it to do over again, I would have had Mr. Virgo plan the wedding. While it was lovely, it wasn’t until the honeymoon when he reminded me this is what he does for a living. I hadn’t even thought of that. I was just so darned excited to be marrying this great guy, I just barreled through like a bull in a china shop. I asked him why he didn’t say something, and in his sweet, self-deprecating way, he told me, “Sweetheart, it really is all about you. You were having so much fun with it, I just sat back and enjoyed the ride.” I started to ask him what he would have done differently and I know he would have said, “Nothing, baby doll. Not a thing.” Because, that’s the kind of guy he was.
\nWe stood before some seventy-five or so of our family and friends and shared our vows. We promised to always be there. Till death do us part. We had no idea at the time it would only be five years, eleven months, and five days till the unthinkable happened and he was gone.
\nThere is joy on that face on the left. Fresh with the wonder of love and a wedding and music and dancing and cake! Fast forward a decade and look…that face has aged. It has seen indescribable loss. The eyes have shed a river of tears. The hair has a lot of glitter in it. And, there is also joy on that face on the right. Fresh with the wonder of love and music and camping and great barbecue and the handsome man taking my picture….my life companion. The woman on the right is wiser. Older chronologically, but not in her heart. While I lost so much when I lost Mr. Virgo…I ended up gaining in the end. I have a much greater sense of adventure. I’m not so “in the box” as I used to be. I got out from under crushing debt and the weight of long held worldly goods. I figured out what’s really important in life. I’m SO different now than I was then.
\nI am relieved to be this far down the road of this grief journey. The pictures I have of those weeks, months, years break my heart. I try not to think about the possibilities of having to walk that path again but I’m realistic enough to know it can happen. I know I could survive it again if I had to. But, for now…I think I’ll just hang on and go for the ride. The best is yet to be! I’m becoming a crone! ❤️
\n“The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.””\nGenesis 2:18 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2017-11-03T01:30:13-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/11/03/the-promise.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Humbled","Aging","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/11/02/the-information-age.html", "title": "The Information Age", "content_html": "![\"Card](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/74fc870f76.jpg\")
Prehistoric Google
Hubby #2 is a pretty smart guy. Even so, when he was in medical school, he had to study really hard for the grades. Once he graduated, he started getting medical journals delivered to the house. JAMA…the Journal of the American Medical Association…was the biggest one. Lancet…the British equivalent. There were issues dealing with pathology, dermatology, cancer. There are a zillion of these magazines that doctors get and they have a name for them. Except for the top two or three, doctors refer to them as “throw aways”.
\nH2 would clip articles, make files, read, read, and read some more. The making of a doctor is not a pretty thing. Nor is it at all glamorous. Long, long hours with very little sleep. Cram studying in there and a family? Let’s just say, it’s no wonder the divorce rate is high in that field. One particularly rough rotation, I found him curled up on the bed. I sat down beside him and asked what was wrong. He said he couldn’t learn enough to make a difference. It wasn’t long after that when he had an a-ha moment. One of his mentors told him the most important thing he would ever learn in medical school is where to look things up. From then on, things went much more smoothly. And he began throwing away the superfluous stuff. He stopped clipping articles. And he became a knowledgeable and beloved physician.
\nThis was back in the days before the internet. What on earth did we do without smart phones and Google? When I was in the hospital last month, the doctor kept getting texts while we spoke. I can clearly see both sides of this issue. Frustrating as the patient but so incredibly useful as a physician. How much easier life would have been had H2 had a smart phone. I remember when he got his first Palm Pilot. Oy…
\nThe amount of information that comes to us in any given day is mind boggling. It’s easy to become overwhelmed when it’s too much. We shut down. Is the world really worse than it’s ever been? Or are we just bombarded with every story…with every news outlet vying for the ratings by sensationalizing everything? Bad things have always happened. Every single day. We just didn’t have it thrown in our faces 24/7/365. It’s too much. This is why I cut out television. The month after Mr. Virgo died, I got the satellite bill and realized I hadn’t even considered turning the TV on. Not once. I called and cancelled the service. I do have it here at the farm in case of an emergency and I need news. In the fifteen months I’ve lived here, I have watched TV maybe three times. My life is so much more peaceful without the box entertaining me….bombarding me…enticing me…scaring me. I don’t need to see the images in order to feel the horror of an event.
\nWe become what we consume, and that includes information. A chaotic world creates a chaotic life…and, vice versa. ❤️
\n“The heart of the discerning acquires knowledge, for the ears of the wise seek it out.”\nProverbs 18:15 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2017-11-02T01:30:48-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/11/02/the-information-age.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","New Ideas","Peace","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/11/01/twinkle-twinkle-little-star.html", "title": "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star", "content_html": "![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/5aebaf1ff8.jpg\")
\nI think the first time I remember really looking at the stars was when Sputnik was orbiting overhead. My dad came and woke me up and said, “Come with me…I want to show you something.” He helped me into my coat and we stepped outside into the cool, night air. I was instantly alert, fully understanding this was unusual and an adventure. I shivered with the thrill of my dad sharing something special with me. That didn’t happen very often.
\nI remember he held my hand and pointed into the night sky and said, “See the stars?”
\n“Yes, daddy.”
\n“I want you to watch for a special star…it’s going to move across the sky. Not fast, like a shooting star. But pretty fast.” He pointed straight up above us and said, “There! See it?!”
\nIt took me a few seconds of searching but there it was…a moving star!!! “I see it! I see it!” I shouted. It was, come to find out, the newly launched satellite…Sputnik. The Russians had beat us into space. I was only four years old when this little round ball went around and around our world. It was up there for twenty-one days…then it was done.
\nI’ve been in love with the night sky ever since that night at Grandma’s farm, holding my dad’s hand in the dark. There was a reverence about it, a sense of awe at the magnitude of it all. One summer after Grandma died, I came to WV for my high school reunion. It must have been in 2012…the August before Mr. Virgo died. I was staying at the farm, even though it was a good hour’s drive after the party let out at midnight. It was a hot August night and when I stepped out of the car into the inky blackness of the night, I looked up and stopped in my tracks. The stars looked like a million diamonds thrown on a black velvet cloth. The distinct stripe of the Milky Way slashing across the sky fascinated me. I laid down on the wheelchair ramp my uncle had built two decades before and placed my hands across my belly and stared for the longest time. Shooting stars streaked across the sky at irregular intervals. Crickets and katydids sang their love songs deep into the night. An owl hooted far up the holler behind the barn. And there…there was a satellite. Then another. And soon, another. The night sky is littered with space junk and communication satellites and spies anymore.
\nNow I have an app on my iPhone that identifies whatever star or constellation I point it at. It’s a lot of fun, especially when you’re out camping. There are several apps but the one I use is the free version of SkyView. The sky will never again be like that night in 1957 when I first shared an adventure with my dad. ❤️
\n“who made the great lights— His love endures forever. the sun to govern the day, His love endures forever. the moon and stars to govern the night; His love endures forever.”\nPsalm 136:7-9 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-11-01T01:30:17-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/11/01/twinkle-twinkle-little-star.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Positive Energy","West Virginia","The Farm","Peace","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/10/31/free-refills.html", "title": "Free Refills", "content_html": "
![\"Free](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/d81787510b.jpg\")
\nSunday’s sermon was amazing, as usual, and I am always compelled to share my impressions. Pastor Justin Enoch of The Warehouse Church delivers a passionate message every Sunday that really speaks to me. I love this church! It’s contemporary, has a great praise team, and speaks to my spirit week after week. As I was driving to church Sunday, I felt this delightful anticipation that made me smile. I’ve never known a church where people are SO excited to attend. They give you “high fives” as you enter and as you leave. They hold up signs in the parking lot that say “So glad you’re here!” and “You can sit with us!” It is a reaching church and welcomes everyone, no matter where they are in their lives. I love that.
\n“If you only knew…” This was the title of Sunday’s sermon. How many times have you said…”If I only knew then what I know now…”? Pastor Justin used the example of the oil and gas industry. If he had only known about the development that was going to come, he would have thrown everything he had into the pot and bought all this land for pennies on the dollar that has now created so many “Mailbox Millionaires”. We live our lives this way. The enemy feeds on this. He whispers into our lives and makes us fearful of the future, worried about today, and ashamed of the past. If you take up the spoon and eat what you’re being fed, you’ll soon starve to death. Your spirit will be hungry…for what, it has no clue. So you seek to find something that fills you up. Drugs, alcohol, sex, pornography, shopping…anything to fill up that hole in your spirit.
\nPastor Justin goes on to ask how many of us love “free refills”. Hands go up all over the sanctuary. We do! We love to have that bottomless cup of coffee at the diner or the unlimited soup and salad at Olive Garden. We want something for nothing. God offers us unlimited, bottomless cup, free refills for all eternity…refills of love. If you only knew how much He loves you. If you were the only person on this earth, He would still have sacrificed His Son for you. That kind of love is unfathomable. You can’t earn it. You can’t buy it. He gives it freely. And when He does, you cannot help but be changed.
\nThere is an East Indian saying that says, “No matter how far you have gone down the wrong path, turn around.” You have to make choices in your faith walk. If you are struggling with addiction, you can’t get clean and play in the same playground you did before. You have to make changes. God offers his love freely, but we have to show up and suit up and play the game. What if you put that passion and drive and love and attention you put into anything that takes you off the right path and turned it towards God? What if, instead of running to the bottle or the needle or the charge card or the relationship, you ran towards Jesus? Whoa. That blew me away.
\nFree refills…unconditional love, free for the taking. I’ll fill my cup at the well that serves Living Water and my cup will never be empty. I ran into a gal in Harrisville yesterday. I hadn’t seen her in about a year. She looked at me and said, “You look so rested, so peaceful.” I am…for a number of reasons. My cup is filled every day by a living, loving God. I have healthy, happy children and grandchildren. My brother is stable and happy and living a fulfilling life. I live in the country in the home of my heart. And, I’m in love with a wonderful man. I am wealthy beyond all imagination. I may not have a boatload of money…but I’m richer than I have ever been in my entire life.
\nTwelve years ago today a tall, silver-haired gentleman with piercing blue eyes and a disarming smile walked into my needlework shop in Glenwood Springs and changed my life forever. I am so grateful for that. I am so grateful I had that kind of unconditional love and that I have it again. I am so grateful for this life! My prayer today is that you are richly blessed in your own lives. ❤️
\n“Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.””\nJohn 4:13-14 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-10-31T01:30:43-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/10/31/free-refills.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Humbled"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/10/29/the-art-of-aging.html", "title": "The Art of Aging", "content_html": "
![\"The](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/42d0a17323.jpg\")
\nI sat in the big leather chair yesterday and gazed around this circle of marvelous, beautiful women I have the honor of calling my friends. We all graduated from high school together…could it really be forty-six years ago??? We’re a diverse group. Some were jocks in high school. Some were wallflowers. Actresses. Musicians. Artists. Dancers. Some were heavy into books. Some were heavy into boys. We were shy…and we weren’t. We were scared…and we weren’t. And look at us now. These raven-haired beauties have glitter on their crowns now…whether we choose to show it or not.
\nWhat is age but a number and an attitude? I haven’t climbed all these mountains to ignore the view. I worked hard to get up here. I got knocked down a few times. (Haven’t we all?) But, I kept on climbing because the view is pretty magnificent from this side of sixty. I don’t want to be young. I’ve been young. I don’t want to lose the character lines on my face. I’ve had alabaster skin. I don’t want to be skinny. I’ve worried about my tummy for the very last time. What I haven’t been is sixty-five and seventy-eight and ninety-two.
\nWhen Mr. Virgo died, I truly thought my life was over. In a way, it was. THAT life was. But I got a new life…whether I wanted it or not. I built it to suit me. Stripping away to the foundation of your soul takes great courage. My mantra every day was a whimper…”Move forward…move forward…move forward.” From a whimper to a whisper to a shout, joy was my carrot on a stick. Did I ever dream I’d find love again? I did at some point. I can guarantee it took a while to get there. Did I ever dream I’d find a love like THIS again? Oh, h*** no! Is it better than what I had with Mr. Virgo? It’s different…as it should be. I wasn’t looking to “replace” my husband. I was looking to enhance my life with joy, and Mr. FixIt brings that and then some.
\nI don’t want to be anything but what I am because if I lose focus on sixty-four, I’ll miss it. I want to be present with my breath and my heartbeat…my bones and marrow. I want to feel my muscles move as I strive to continually improve them. I want to taste my food. I want to smell sunshine on fresh sheets. No…I don’t want to be young. I want to be me…at every stage. I want to make aging my canvas…my art…my muse. ❤️
\n“Gray hair is a crown of splendor; it is attained in the way of righteousness.”\nProverbs 16:31 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-10-29T01:30:15-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/10/29/the-art-of-aging.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","God","Wisdom","Aging"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/10/28/soupnatures-tranquilizer.html", "title": "Soup...Nature’s Tranquilizer", "content_html": "
![\"Homemade](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/f01a66ca3e.jpg\")
\nIt was twenty-seven degrees here at the farm yesterday morning when I sent Mr. FixIt off on a guys trip to North Carolina. This leaves me on my own till Sunday night. I love this man…I truly do. AND, I love my alone time on occasion, so I’m sitting here in the dining room, in front of Grandma’s favorite window, classical music playing softly in the background. It is lovely outside…nearly sixty degrees, sunny, the last of the autumn leaves clinging desperately to the branches like quivering field mice bracing for winter’s chill. It is warm and cozy in this little, old farmhouse and I’m snug as a bug in a rug.
\nThe other day I told you I was making pot roast in the pressure cooker. That night after dinner, I added a can of green beans, a small can of sliced carrots, a can of diced tomatoes, and the leftover potatoes from dinner to the crock pot. When I say “‘crock pot” and “pressure cooker”, I am talking about the same appliance that also is a steamer. When I got rid of most of my belongings and moved into the camper, I didn’t want to be without the conveniences of my kitchen appliances and there wasn’t room for everything. That’s when I ran across this wonderful gizmo that does it all. It’s not very big, but its big enough for two and leftovers aplenty.
\nI put the soup on and frankly…I forgot all about it till I was heading to bed. I came into the kitchen to lock the back door and noticed it was still cooking. Too hot to put in the fridge, I took the soup…pot and all…out to my truck and set it inside for the night as the temperature got down into the thirties. The next morning, I skimmed off the fat and plugged it back in to have ready for lunch. It was wonderful!
\nMr. FixIt was heading into town after lunch to help his ex with something. I sent him off with a container of soup and some crackers for her. Why cater to the needs of an ex-wife? Because…divorce may change a relationship status, but you can still be family. There is Christian loving-kindness to be considered. She is moving this week into her first home of her own. I remember what that was like after my divorce. I wanted her to know she is loved and cared for. It is the same love and kindness extended toward me from my exes’ wives. You can be bitter and angry and full of resentment with a divorce. Or, you can embrace the new member into the family circle. I know that doesn’t work for everyone, but I choose love. I always choose love. ❤️
\n“We love because he first loved us.”\n1 John 4:19 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-10-28T01:30:02-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/10/28/soupnatures-tranquilizer.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","West Virginia","The Farm","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/10/27/how-far-have-we-really.html", "title": "How Far Have We Really Come?", "content_html": "
![\"Ad](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/a9ce66e4e0.jpg\")
\nI have really been getting into nostalgia lately. The other day I shared my Pinterest page of Childhood Memories. When I have a few minutes, I go on and add a few more. It’s interesting how Pinterest works. When you click on something, you soon see more and more pins in that category and it’s been a fun walk down Memory Lane. Some of the memories I could do without, though.
\nEventually, I started seeing ads…legitimate ads…that reminded me of a time before “political correctness” became de rigueur. Ads about keeping women in their “place”. Ads about making little girls feel less unacceptable by dressing them in Chubettes. Ads about keeping slim for your man by taking amphetamines or gaining weight if you’re too skinny in order to be more attractive to the opposite sex. It makes my blood boil that generations of women…including my own…were made to feel “less than”. To be objectified…categorized…scrutinized. Ads like this one. I mean, seriously…what is this even about? What are they saying? “Wear these stylin’ kicks and your woman will worship the ground you walk on. As an added bonus, she’ll do it fabric free!”
\nFinally…finally, finally, finally…these kinds of ads fell out of fashion. It became considered to be in poor taste to openly objectify women. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t still happen…it most certainly does as is evidenced by current events being reported. People of power often take advantage of those seen to be beneath them or weaker than they. Hopefully, this is a gut check and might strike a more even balance of power in the future.
\nI was visiting one of the “widow pages” I frequent on Facebook the other day. The topic of one post was regarding the Hollywood actresses who went back to their abuser in order to get another part. She couldn’t understand how a woman could do that. This smacked dangerously close to blaming the victim so I had to step into the fray and offer my two cents. It IS difficult to understand how a woman could go back to the same circumstances and risk abuse again. That is, until you try to look through her lens. She’s an actress. It’s what she does. She depends on the power brokers of Hollywood to promote her, hire her, give her a break. The power broker knows this. He is emboldened…drunk with his position to make or break the careers of nubile young coeds. She (or he, as the case may be…actors are not exempt to abuse) knows what will happen if she is blackballed in Hollywood. She might as well go back to the Midwest or wherever she came from and get a job, because she or he will never work in Hollywood again. Everyone knows this. They just didn’t talk about it. And, finally…somebody told. The hoopla over it all will die down with the next news cycle but maybe some meaningful change will occur.
\nWe’ve come a long way, to be sure and there’s so much further to go. I understand people’s frustration with “political correctness”…sometimes even I think it can be excessive. But, when I was growing up, it was called being polite, doing the right thing, showing respect. The Golden Rule. Good manners. And there’s nothing wrong with exercising plenty more of that. ❤️
\n“For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” But if you bite and devour one another, watch out that you are not consumed by one another.”\nGalatians 5:14-15 ESV
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-10-27T01:30:06-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/10/27/how-far-have-we-really.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Peace","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Humbled","Aging"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/10/26/farmhouse-obsession.html", "title": "Farmhouse Obsession", "content_html": "
![\"Farmhouse](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/dd542a5e6a.jpg\")
\nIn 1982, Hubby #2 and I moved into an old brick bungalow that had been the farmhouse before the area around it was developed. It was drafty and poorly insulated. Three quarters of the basement was bare dirt floor. The brick support pillars down there were crumbling and frankly, it was a pretty scary place. But the rest of the house was charming. Dark hardwood floors and built-in storage, tall ceilings and a sun porch, large windows you could fling wide open to catch the cool evening breeze…it was the closest I had come to living in an actual farmhouse since I’d left home at the tender age of twenty.
\nHubby #2 was in medical school when we moved into this rental. Even though it was a farmhouse, it was on a very busy street in east Denver. I had a big garden and flower beds everywhere. We grew as much of our own food as we could and I was very much into Mother Earth News. I made our bread, yogurt, granola and tofu. What I couldn’t grow, I bought at the neighborhood farmer’s market. I canned dozens of jars of green beans, pickles, tomatoes, jams and jellies in my huge country kitchen which looked very similar to this one.
\nI have a total obsession with these porcelain farmhouse sinks. There’s nothing better for canning than one of these babies. The sink was huge and deep…perfect for washing large quantities of fruits and vegetables. A water bath canner could sit right down into the sink for easy filling. And two dishpans fit perfectly side by side for washing and rinsing dishes. My grandma’s farmhouse doesn’t have one of these sinks but I imagine the first one I ever saw was in West Virginia. I run across them every so often here but haven’t found just the right one. The laminate on the countertops in the farm kitchen is lifting and needs to be replaced. I’m thinking if I ever do that, this kind of sink is going in. The plumbing under the sink is getting pretty fragile so when it goes, it’ll be a perfect opportunity to do a little updating. It is, to be sure, just an earthly tent…but the home of my earthly heart.
\nSpeaking of plumbing, remember when I told you about leaving the bath water running and getting distracted by a phone call? I actually ran the well dry and this terrible, black water started coming out of the faucet. I spoke with one of the locals here and he said this hard water gunks up the insides of the pipes just like cholesterol in your arteries. When I let the well run dry, the “spurting” of air and water essentially roto-rootered the plumbing. Before that, the water smelled and tasted awful. Now, while I don’t think I’d drink a glass of it, I can stand to brush my teeth with it…but only after I tested the water. It’s hard, and slightly alkaline, but there’s no lead, pesticides, or bacteria. It’s really amazing the difference in the quality, before and after.
\nThe pot roast from yesterday was wonderful and is in a crockpot for vegetable soup today. It’s cold and rainy and we were expecting our first hard freeze last night. It’s time to get out the jeans and sweaters and boots and jackets. The only thing missing is a fireplace but this old house is all wood and I wouldn’t dare have one. We did change out the stove in the bathroom yesterday with one that has a thermostat. Now it shuts off and on rather than being way too hot or freezing with the manual shutoff.
\nThe fire in Parkersburg is dying down but still has smoldering hotspots. More information is being released about the owners and what they were doing in there. And, more importantly, what they WEREN’T doing…like correcting past environmental and safety violations. The owner, who has at least four other of these warehouses in the area packed with God knows what, is conveniently out of the country at the moment. Fines had been levied against them for these violations to the tune of $80,000…$60,000 of which remains unpaid. They’re still evaluating the air quality results. The first class action lawsuit was filed Monday. And the circus begins. I pray for the first responders and the folks who live nearby and in the path of the smoke cloud, which shifted continually with the direction of the wind. I pray this gets sorted out quickly. I hear Erin Brokovich has been alerted. I hope that helps. ❤️
\n“For we know that if the tent that is our earthly home is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. For in this tent we groan, longing to put on our heavenly dwelling, if indeed by putting it on we may not be found naked. For while we are still in this tent, we groan, being burdened—not that we would be unclothed, but that we would be further clothed, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. He who has prepared us for this very thing is God, who has given us the Spirit as a guarantee.”\n2 Corinthians 5:1-5 ESV
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-10-26T01:30:48-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/10/26/farmhouse-obsession.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","West Virginia","The Farm","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/10/20/tea-time.html", "title": "Tea Time", "content_html": "
![\"A](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/99cee94710.jpg\")
\nI’m a coffee drinker but I can’t have it after about noon or I’ll be counting the spots on the ceiling all night. I can drink tea at night without a problem. Now that the weather is getting cooler, I share tea time with Mr. FixIt every evening. He catches up with the news on his phone. I sit here on the sofa, write my post and schedule it for 4:00 in the morning so you can read it when you have YOUR cuppa.
\nI always liked tea, even as a young girl. But, I really got into it when I lived in England. I learned to drink it with cream and a side of “digestive biscuits”…England’s counterpart for graham crackers. I bought a Brown Betty while I was there…a sturdy, brown, earthenware teapot that keeps your tea at a proper temperature for quite some time. I was taught to put in a teaspoon of loose leaf tea per cup and add one for the pot. I poured my cream into the pot then fresh, boiling water. I let it steep till it was the color I like and poured it through a strainer to removed the leaves.
\nI had my first child in the Royal Berkshire Maternity Hospital. My physician was Mr. Stalabrass (certain physicians are referred to as Mr. in Britain, or at least that’s the way it was forty-three years ago.) I had pre-eclampsia and had to be in the hospital for a week before I had the baby. Every afternoon, an aide would take your lunch tray, close the curtains and the door, and settle you in for a nap. Two hours later, she would come back with a warm face cloth and a tea tray…a lovely pot of tea, finger sandwiches, and sweets. It was divine! They should do that everywhere.
\nI am working double time trying to give this house a deep cleaning before winter sets in. The water here at the farm is hard and has a lot of iron in it. It turns the porcelain dark brown and takes a great deal of elbow grease to get clean. I discovered a wonderful product called Zap. The tub hasn’t been this white since I was a kid and they installed running water in this house. Seriously…it’s probably some horrid chemical, but the bathroom looks great!
\nI have to tackle the outside next, scrub the porches, and get the kitty beds ready for cold weather. But, first…another spot of tea! ❤️
\n“Take a lesson from the ants, you lazybones. Learn from their ways and become wise! Though they have no prince or governor or ruler to make them work, they labor hard all summer, gathering food for the winter. But you, lazybones, how long will you sleep? When will you wake up? A little extra sleep, a little more slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest— then poverty will pounce on you like a bandit; scarcity will attack you like an armed robber.”\nProverbs 6:6-11 NLT
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-10-20T01:30:02-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/10/20/tea-time.html", "tags": ["Positive Energy","West Virginia","The Farm","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Humbled","The Cats"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/10/19/i-am-not-alone.html", "title": "I Am Not Alone", "content_html": "
![\"Prisma](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/1925126736.jpg\")
\nOf all the comments I get on my blog posts, by far the most common is “It’s good to know I’m not alone.” When Mr. Virgo died, I felt like the only person on the planet. No one could possibly understand what I was feeling. I didn’t know how to find resources to help me feel better. I didn’t know who to turn to. I tried reading grief books but I couldn’t read. I couldn’t get beyond a sentence or two before my mind exploded. My family and friends were wonderful…don’t get me wrong. But I was sure even they couldn’t really get it because they hadn’t walked this particular path.
\nI reached out through this page as much for me as I did for you. Maybe more so. And we both found out we’re not alone in this. That was HUGE for me. Knowing others were having the same or similar experiences gave me courage.
\nI scroll through my files of pictures often for inspiration. Sometimes a particular photo will jump out at me and that’s the one I go with for my next post. Last night, it was this one. Mr. Virgo…big smile, twinkling eyes, and that shock of silver hair…in the afternoon sunshine at Rocky Mountain National Park on a day much like today. We had gone for a drive to view the elk and the bright yellow gold of the aspen leaves quaking in the breeze. It was a perfect day. As I scrolled through the photos and saw this one, two things happened. My heart squeezed for a few seconds. And I smiled. The smile is good. The squeeze in my heart still takes my breath away because it takes me by surprise.
\nI had a beautiful day yesterday. It was a day much like the one in this picture. The sky was a brilliant cerulean blue. The temperature was reasonable in the high sixties, low seventies. I was with the man that I love. We had a really busy and full day winterizing another of the four campers. Lunch out. A granddaughter’s softball game. A trip to the Piggly Wiggly. A day. Just a normal day in a life. Some would say it was nothing special. I beg to differ…it was.
\nWhy was yesterday special? Because I get to love again. I get to look in another human being’s beautiful eyes and see love in return. Because I get to love…a lot. I get to love both of my ex-husbands and that great cowboy I dated for awhile. I get to love Mr. Virgo. And…I get to love Mr. FixIt. That is so special. I can still love all of them because I stretched my heart and made room
\n“I am not alone” has taken on a new meaning now. I’ll never take that for granted. ❤️
\n“fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”\nIsaiah 41:10 ESV
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-10-19T01:30:16-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/10/19/i-am-not-alone.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Humbled","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/10/18/a-birds-eye-view.html", "title": "A Bird's Eye View", "content_html": "
![\"Satellite](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/cae84595af.jpg\")
\nHave you ever gone on Google Earth and looked at the places you know? I remember one winter day before Mr. Virgo died. I was missing home…the dense, green woods and dusky purple mountains of West Virginia. Google Earth was still relatively new and they had just added the “street view” feature. I plugged in the address for Grandma’s farm, clicked on the little man icon, and…viola! I was “standing” in front of the farmhouse! I was SO excited! I quickly moved the map so I could “drive” down the two-lane blacktop the three miles, taking in every turn, house, and tree. It was mesmerizing. I could “go home” anytime I wanted to! I have “traveled” to Paris to see the Eiffel Tower, London to ogle Big Ben, Rome to see the ancient ruins…all from the comfort of the easy chair in my living room.
\nThe other night, Mr. FixIt was doing a little virtual traveling and he stumbled upon this. TOW-Wanda! MY camper…sitting right where I park her in the summer! I know approximately when this was. This is mostly uber cool…and, a little bit spooky in a Big-Brother-is-watching-you sort of way. It’s a good thing there was no nude sunbathing going on…for a vast number of reasons! ?
\nThis satellite photo was taken about fifteen months after Mr. Virgo died. I had been full-timing in my camper for about seven months at this point. I was interviewed yesterday for another episode of Janine Pettit’s Girl Camper podcast. This time we talked about full-timing…dream vs. reality. I’ll post a link when it goes live.
\nLiving on the farm has been such a treat that I’ve hardly thought about whether I miss all that time I spent on the road. The answer is yes…and no. Could I do that again? Yes! Would I? Maybe. I’m a lot more awake and aware now than I was back then. Grief brain may have clouded my judgement sometimes. But I’ve never regretted having that time alone out in the wilderness and backroads. I was so free and life was pared down to the bare essentials. There’s something to be said for simplicity. Janine asked me if I ever found myself lonely and I’m not sure I properly answered. I’m a people person. I’m gregarious and thrive in a place where I can have regular contact with people I know and love…friends and family that love me for who I am and I can let my hair down. I think that was the driving force behind allowing the Siren Song of the farm to lure me into planting some roots…at least for a while. And now…I have Mr. FixIt. We both love to travel and we never stay put for too long. But I’m looking forward to some nesting this winter. That’s the goodness of fall…it invites us to put another log on the fire, brew a nice cup of tea, and read a good book. The campers are put away for the season and I’m ready to be a homebody for a while. ❤️
\n“By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established; through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures.”\nProverbs 24:3-4 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2017-10-18T01:30:29-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/10/18/a-birds-eye-view.html", "tags": ["Colorado","Travel","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","The Grand Adventure","Fun","West Virginia","The Farm","Growth","Gratitude","goRVing","Wisdom","Girl Camper","Girl Campers","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/10/17/getting-bolder-stories-not-stuff.html", "title": "Getting Bolder: Stories, Not Stuff", "content_html": "![\"Stories,](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/66cdba44e9.jpg\")
Today’s post is a link to my most recent installment of “Getting Bolder” on the Sisters on the Fly blog. ❤️
www.sistersonthefly.com/getting-b…
\n“Since we have such a hope, we are very bold,”\n2 Corinthians 3:12 ESV
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-10-17T01:30:09-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/10/17/getting-bolder-stories-not-stuff.html", "tags": ["Faith","Colorado","Travel","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Sisters on the Fly","Positive Energy","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","The Grand Adventure","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Wisdom","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/10/16/me-too.html", "title": "Me Too", "content_html": "
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/34b7ab8ea9.jpg\")
\nTrigger warning…this is sensitive and may not be easy for some of you to read but it is important to discuss.
\nUnless you never look at social media or listen to the news, there is no way you can avoid hearing about sexual assault this week. If you look at your Facebook or Twitter feeds, you may notice “Me too.” posted. No explanation. Just…“Me too.” If you are a woman in this world, you have been subjected to…or at the very least, exposed to acts of a sexual nature without your consent. My very first memory of something inappropriate was at my babysitter’s house when I was maybe five years old. She had teenagers and I was exposed to the daughter and her boyfriend having sex. There was also a boy there who exposed himself to me frequently. Sure…there was normal sexual curiosity as a child. We played “doctor”. This was beyond that.
\nThis picture was taken on Easter Sunday when I was eight years old. My family had just moved into this house at Christmas. About a month before my mom took this photo, a boy in the neighborhood…a senior in high school by my best estimation…had his hand in my pants. When he went for my friend, I grabbed her and ran. I told her mom. She pushed me out of the house and told me to never, ever say anything like that again. My lips are pressed tight in this picture, the corners of my mouth turned down. I never told another soul till I was 35, even when it happened again…this time with my best friend’s dad when I was 13. I was damaged.
\nFor years, my way of coping with what had happened to me was to suppress it. Make it smaller. I rationalized. There wasn’t penetration, so it must not be sexual abuse, right? Compartmentalize. Pretend. But it was always in there. When the older boys cat-called as I walked down the street. I was 11. When the maintenance man at the hospital remarked about the still-little-girl curve of my tummy not being “sexy”. I was 17. When the doctor slapped my butt with plaster on his hands leaving his handprints on my scrubs for all to see. I was 19.
\nOver and over…men who hold important positions of trust, men who are “friends”, strangers on the street…slap us with behaviors that are clearly unacceptable and we’ve been told “Boys will be boys.” “What were you doing?” “What were you wearing?” The friend whose father molested me was being abused herself at the age of three. When she finally was brave enough to tell, her mom didn’t believe her. After all, her dad was an elder in the church.
\nWhat came out of Hollywood this week has been happening throughout time. We’ve just been trained to be quiet. Don’t rock the boat. After all, who are they going to believe…you? Or the big man on campus? People knew. Of course they knew. People didn’t say anything. And when they DID say something, they were told to shut up and sit down or they lost their livelihood. This isn’t just a woman’s issue. This is a human character issue. Men have also been victims of abuse, but there are more female victims than male…by a long shot.
\nMy bottom line is this…talk. Look at your feed. See all the “Me too’s” and see how prevalent this issue is. Talk some more. Talk to your kids about what is ok and what is not. When my kids became the age I was when I was abused, I became hyper vigilant. Their dad didn’t understand how fast…how easy…it can happen. And by someone you know and trust. It doesn’t have to be a stranger. Also, be sure your kids are talking to THEIR kids.
\nThis is a messed up world we are living in. I spread a message of love and light every single day because I believe there is goodness in the world. But, bad things still happen and this is just so important to talk about…no matter how uncomfortable it is. My life was forever changed. My innocence taken away, way too early and that affected how I related to men and relationships. Therapy helped. My faith and forgiveness healed me…as much as you can ever be healed after such experiences. My abusers were untouched. They went on with their lives and who knows how many others were affected.
\nThere are so many good, upstanding men in the world. I have been blessed to have men surrounding me for quite some time who would never allow this type of behavior. That has made my life so much easier. Young women have a hard time still. Just remember…it’s ok to tell. It’s never to late to tell. ❤️
\n“But if out in the country a man happens to meet a young woman pledged to be married and rapes her, only the man who has done this shall die. Do nothing to the woman; she has committed no sin deserving death. This case is like that of someone who attacks and murders a neighbor, for the man found the young woman out in the country, and though the betrothed woman screamed, there was no one to rescue her.”\nDeuteronomy 22:25-27 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2017-10-16T01:30:46-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/10/16/me-too.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/10/13/an-act-of-forgiveness.html", "title": "An Act of Forgiveness", "content_html": "![\"Photo](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/f8059e8674.jpg\")
\nDisclaimer: This may be a trigger subject with some. It is dreadfully sad but it touched my heart and I wanted to share with you. It is about the Holocaust and Forgiveness.
\nEva Kor was a young child when she and her twin were torn from their family upon arrival at Auschwitz, never to see them again. Under the direction of Dr. Mengele, they were both subjected to medical experiments that nearly killed them. By sheer will, they fought to survive and were liberated by Russian forces.
\nFor fifty years, Eva held on to her position of “victim”…and rightly so. Her life had been forever altered in ways we cannot even begin to comprehend. She is all that is left of her family. As the 50th Anniversary of the liberation of Auschwitz approached, she awoke one morning with an idea. What if she could forgive someone. She was often called upon to speak and recalled a Nazi doctor that had been at Auschwitz. She had met him at a conference. She figured he may still be alive so she found his phone number and worked up the courage to call him. I’ll let you watch the video and see how she found it in her heart to forgive the most heinous of acts.
\n\nWe speak a lot here about forgiveness. Anger, bitterness, and resentment are the poisons we take hoping they will affect our enemies. Our enemies don’t care if we are eaten alive inside by negative emotions. They are going on with their lives in the nature of enemies…unknowing, uncaring. If my Lord and Savior has forgiven me of my sins, who am I to not do the same? I try to love others as Jesus loves me…even when they are my enemies. Eva’s act of forgiveness took a great deal of strength and courage. She was alienated from other Holocaust survivors for forgiving the Nazis who killed millions of their fellow citizens, friends, and family members. But she didn’t care. She didn’t do it for them. She did it for herself. I am in awe of that kind of heart…that spirit of forgiveness. My petty grievances pale in comparison. ❤️
\n“Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.”\nColossians 3:12-15 ESV
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-10-13T01:30:14-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/10/13/an-act-of-forgiveness.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Humbled"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/10/12/magic-hands.html", "title": "Magic Hands", "content_html": "
![\"Photo](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/24d31fbbae.jpg\")
\nOctober is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. I have always been prompt at getting my mammogram done every single year. I always had it at the same place for consistency. Still, even though it always niggled in the back of my mind that time was slipping by, I went a full three years without one. The fact that I am fairly diligent in doing breast self examination regularly was at least some consolation. But not all lumps and bumps can be felt. An exam and getting the tatas compressed is your best advantage for early detection of breast cancer.
\nI had my mammogram done September 27th, a Saturday. I was up before dawn to go get this thing done. I was in and out relatively quickly. The technologist was friendly, knowledgeable, and the entire experience left me feeling confident in the Women’s Center at Camden Clark Memorial Hospital in Parkersburg. I left the appointment and met my girlfriends for coffee and it became a day like any other day.
\nThe following Wednesday, I went camping for a week and when I returned, there was a message on my home phone from the doctor’s office. Mr. FixIt and I looked at each other and I saw the slightest flicker of fear in his eyes.
\n“I’m sure it’s fine, sweetheart. I’m a girl…girls are complicated. We’ve got all these parts we have to maintain. It happens all the time.” I said in my most reassuring voice. But he wasn’t buying it. And neither was I. I’d never been called back before. And I’d never had an ultrasound of my breast.
\nMy doctor’s office made an appointment for me for the following Tuesday…a whole week away. As much as I tried not to think about what it could mean, it was fruitless. I’ve worked in medicine almost my entire working life. I was married to a doctor who was the director of hospice. I was an x-ray tech. I know what I know. I ran through the risk factors. I used to drink more than I should have when I was going through a particularly difficult marriage/divorce but when the divorce was over, so was the drinking. I am not at my ideal weight and I don’t exercise as much as I should. The king sized plus for me is absolutely zero family history of breast cancer. By the time the appointment came around, I was feeling pretty confident this wasn’t cancer.
\nTuesday finally came. The technician who came out to get me was the same gal who did the first mammo. That was comforting…and good, in that her technique would be the same for comparison’s sake. She told me there were two places in the breast that caused them concern and she pointed them out to me. She proceeded to do another mammogram. This one used a compression paddle on the machine that squeezed a small, three inch circle…really squeezed. I won’t lie…it stung. No problem holding my breath for that one! When she had the top down views done, she changed the paddle to a five inch circle for the side views. Again, the compression took my breath away, but I wanted good compression so the radiologist could see what he/she was looking for. It was soon done and I was ushered to a waiting room. Once the radiologist said no more views were needed, I was taken to the ultrasound room.
\nI’ve had ultrasounds many times, but never of my breast. They warm the gel! How nice! I’m laying there with my arm over my head and my boob hanging out in front of someone who was born the year I graduated from high school but, by golly, that gel was warm! The tech turned the screen slightly toward me and I saw what I had seen on the mammogram, only instead of being an oval, clearly encapsulated thing that looked much like a grape…I saw a black hole. My heart sank for a moment. Then my medical expertise came back and I thought about the physics of ultrasound. I soon reasoned what I was looking at was a fluid filled cyst and the vast majority of those are benign. Breathe.
\nThe tech moved to the other spot. This was more worrisome. It was calcification within some very dense breast tissue. I have what used to be called fibrocystic breast disease till they dropped the disease part, because…it isn’t one. It’s extremely common. The last time I had a mammogram, my doctor was musing to herself. “Hmmmm, I wonder why your left breast is so much denser than the right?” “Easy,” I said. “I’ve always been with right handed men” I think she peed a little. Anyway, I digress. I couldn’t make heads nor tails of what I was seeing in this exam area so I just laid back and let my mind wander. What was my gut saying? “This is ok. Don’t worry.”
\nI was wandering through the mall yesterday, contemplating a pair of shoes, when the doctor’s office called. She said the doctor felt the findings were benign. They wanted to know if there was a family history of breast cancer. Since there is not, the recommendation is to repeat it in six months and if there are no changes, resume the yearly schedule. I didn’t realize I had been holding my breath as I sat down on one of the chairs in the shoe department. I thanked her and hung up. Relief spread over me and I immediately texted Mr. FixIt and my Prayer Warriors.
\nOne out of eight women get breast cancer. Unlike Julia Louise Dreyfus…today it was not me. Get your mammograms, girls. Save the tatas! ❤️
\n“A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.”\nProverbs 17:22 ESV
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-10-12T01:30:38-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/10/12/magic-hands.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","God","Peace","Wisdom","Humbled"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/10/11/free-spirit.html", "title": "Free Spirit", "content_html": "
![\"Woman](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/deff4aaa3d.jpg\")
\nMuch of my life was spent trying to conform…to not be too loud, too big, too much. To fit into the mold of who I (and others whose opinions I valued over my own) thought I should be. I was a doctor’s wife. I was supposed to fit in, entertain, volunteer. I converted to Judaism. I smiled, a lot. I had a perky voice. I did the best I could. And still, things unraveled, my marriage fell apart, and it darned near killed me.
\nIt took a long time, and a lot of therapy, to find my voice. So many times women hang their identity on a hook by the front door and become who they need to be…who they’re expected to be. I have two beautiful daughters who are wonderful adults. Honestly, I don’t know how they survived me because I was a hot mess back in the day.
\nMr. Virgo was the first man to really “get” me. He was patient and listened intently and fiercely supported me. He helped me see, and really FEEL, my value. When he died suddenly, my world and my self-confidence was rocked. When I was alone on my grief journey in the wilderness and backroads of Colorado in the first few months after he died, I really understood for the first time that it’s up to me to be happy. If we search for happiness from external things, we will always be disappointed.
\nI had a Mr. Virgo-sized hole in my heart and a God-sized hole in my life. I couldn’t bring Mr. Virgo back, but I could…and DID…reach out to God to fill me up with a peace only He could give. My go-to scripture became “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Over and over, through long anxiety-riddled nights, I repeated it till I believed it…till I felt it in my bones. And magically, God filled in the empty, hurting places with a golden love-light like none I had ever known.
\nI was telling someone yesterday…I loved Mr. Virgo with the white-hot heat of the sun. But I still never felt whole till I loved GOD with the white-hot heat of HIS Son. My light shines from within. I carry myself differently. I’m happy and content with myself and my life. And now? Now I have Mr. FixIt. I’m so glad he came into my life after I was broken open. I don’t know that we would have appreciated each other if this would have happened at any other time in our lives.
\nGod’s timing is so perfect. ❤️
\n“Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? And not one of them is forgotten before God. Why, even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows.”\nLuke 12:6-7 ESV
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-10-11T01:30:38-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/10/11/free-spirit.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Fun","West Virginia","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Humbled","Aging","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/10/10/past-the-breaking-point.html", "title": "Past the Breaking Point", "content_html": "
![\"Photo](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/ee854f77b4.jpg\")
\nFilicide. It’s something we don’t want to talk about…something we don’t understand. How could a mother kill her own children? It’s beyond our comprehension. How can someone be pushed so far that they would break like that? It goes against every grain. Yet, it happens.
\nThere was a tragedy in West Virginia last week. A woman shot her two young children, then herself. The little boy was hanging on by a thread last I heard. The little girl and the mom are gone. I just learned last night that not one, but both children have/had special needs. I don’t know what they’re challenges are/were, but I do know what it’s like to grow up in a family with a special needs child. My brother was born with cerebral palsy and mild mental impairment. I will never forget the day the doctor gave Mom the prognosis. They told her he would never live a normal life. He wouldn’t drive or be able to take care of himself or hold a real job. She was devastated. Add to that a troubled marriage and it’s no wonder she suffered from migraines, anxiety, and depression.
\nAbout six years ago, I did a short stint as a substitute paraprofessional in a severe needs classroom at the elementary school where my older daughter taught. I couldn’t do it…and I grew up with this. I don’t know how teachers and parents keep from going over the edge. This mother had more than she could handle and she broke.
\nThe news headline said “Let this be a wake up call.” Yes, let’s. There are few people who don’t know anyone affected by a special needs child in their circle…be it church or the hair salon or the bank or a neighbor. If you know someone, and you’ve never offered to help out, do something. A couple hour break could make a world of difference in an overwhelmed parent’s life. Take them a meal. Offer to cut their lawn. Give them a gift card to the grocery. Heck, give them a hug. Tell them, while you can’t understand exactly what they’re going through, you’d like them to know you’re there for whatever help you may be able to give them. Pray with them. Pray FOR them. If you can’t do any of these things, pray for God to open your heart to whatever He would want you to do.
\nMy demographic here is 40-65 year old women mainly, so I guess I’m encouraging grandmas to do what grandmas do best…love on somebody that sorely needs it today. You never know who that outstretched hand may save. We cannot understand how horrible things like this can happen, but perhaps we can change the course by opening our hearts and loving people like Jesus does. ❤️
\n“Then children were brought to him that he might lay his hands on them and pray. The disciples rebuked the people, but Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.” And he laid his hands on them and went away.”\nMatthew 19:13-15 ESV
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-10-10T01:30:25-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/10/10/past-the-breaking-point.html", "tags": ["Faith","Family","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Hope","Grace","God","Peace","Wisdom","Forgiveness"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/10/06/losing-your-sense-of-direction.html", "title": "Losing Your Sense of Direction", "content_html": "
![\"Losing](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/1397099534.jpg\")
\nThere’s no quicker way to lose your inner compass than through the experience of grief. God built us to numb down so we don’t experience the loss in one gulp. I remember the first year. I was so numb from the neck up. I didn’t fully grasp what had happened to my world until the second year. THAT was the year of pain for me because I “woke up” and he was still gone. I didn’t know where to turn. I literally didn’t know which end was up. I couldn’t make intelligent choices. I couldn’t see further than today…maybe even this hour. It was terribly disconcerting to me to feel so out of control. It was terribly comforting to me when you all started writing back with things like “Yes! That’s me!” and “OMGosh! You’re in my head! How did you know?”
\nLosing your inner compass is normal in grief. Losing your sense of direction doesn’t just come with the loss of a loved one though. It can come with anything that shocks our sensibilities. And I can’t think of anything more shocking than the events of the last month. While I was out galavanting around, camping here and there, appearing at public events, being interviewed while flyfishing, sitting around the campfire with friends…events were taking place that were shattering our world and I was largely disconnected save for the occasional notification on my phone when I was in cell range.
\nDisclaimer: I’m not here to discuss politics. There are many, many sites where that is the theme. This is a safe place where we discuss grief and the things that effect it. That being said…I would be remiss if I sail along singing Kumbaya and not address the horrifying events that have hit us over and over and over the last few weeks.
\nDevastating hurricanes. Deadly earthquakes. Horrific mass murders. Huge breaches of electronic security. Every week…every day…it’s something. Another thing…another horror. It’s hard to feel safe in times like this when you aren’t grieving. Add the insecurity and emotional turmoil of loss to the mix and it’s so easy to lose your way…to lose direction…to lose hope.
\nYes, there are political avenues that can and…in my humble opinion…should be implemented to curb events that can be curbed. I am an enigma. I am a diehard liberal Christian and Democrat with a gun. I believe in my right to carry and protect myself, my property, and my loved ones. If I need to hunt to eat, I need a weapon to do so. What I don’t need is an assault rifle, let alone forty-three of them, and I certainly don’t need one that shoots automatically. I might need a couple hundred rounds of ammo. I don’t need ten thousand. I might need some fertilizer for my garden. I don’t need enough to blow up a building. I need to protect my little corner of the world from nefarious interlopers. I’m fully aware not everyone agrees on these issues and I’m not here to debate politics or gun control or any “third rail” issue. This is a faith-based blog so I’m going to approach this from my own personal faith-based perspective.
\nI usually drive in silence. It’s my think time. But, occasionally I listen to a book on tape or a talk given by someone on a subject I am interested in. As events unfolded over the last month, I found myself getting upset and angry…a perfectly normal reaction to such chaos. Since losing Mr. Virgo, I’ve found it helpful to retreat within myself and become quiet and introspective in order to process additional loss. Now that I have Mr. FixIt in my life, I don’t have long stretches of time to silently contemplate my feelings, process them, and retrieve my bearings. I felt my fear grow and my frustration build to the point of lashing out at him when he did nothing but be kind and love me. I needed to fix that before it became a problem.
\nGod always brings me what I need to walk through this path. Remember me telling you that we have to walk through fire in this life, but God throws gems down in the flames? We may not recognize the meaning of a particular gem, but we tuck it away because somewhere down the line, we’ll understand. When I was in Colorado, I went to a used book store looking for books on tape for the long drives I take traveling with TOW-Wanda. This time I found several presentations by such notables as Brené Brown, Pema Chodrin, and Joyce Meyers. I tucked them in the truck but didn’t listen to them on the trip home because Mr. FixIt was with me.
\nLast week I traveled up to Beaver Creek State Park and found the four hour block of time to listen to Pema Chodrin’s “Don’t Bite the Hook: Finding Freedom from Anger, Resentment, and Other Destructive Emotions”. Her basic premise boils down to finding compassion for the perpetrator. She spends the better part of three and a half hours explaining how to fight the addiction of anger and replace it with patience and compassion. Anger sits in the pit of our stomach. It’s uncomfortable and we lash out to release those pent up feelings. But, what if we allow ourselves to sit with that discomfort, recognize it as a temporary feeling, look at the person pissing us off and feel compassion? If that’s too hard, then at least just say…“OK, this person is pissing me off. I’m not biting that hook.” There is a difference between suppressing anger and diffusing it. Suppression will just place it in a pressure cooker and it becomes self-destructive. Diffusing it dissipates the energy and converts it into something self-soothing.
\nHow does this relate to the current events in the world? Well, environmentally, these storms are getting more powerful, more frequent, and more destructive. As an environmentalist, one can get angry at politicians who refuse to believe in climate change. As one who believes this is a predictable cycle of nature, one can get angry at the “tree huggers” for leading the charge with “the sky is falling!” Earthquakes? Environmentalists are angry with the oil and gas industry for fracking and causing instability beneath the earths crust. Others are angry at such rhetoric saying the earth’s crust moves…deal with it. Mass shootings? The NRA will give you their guns when you pry them out of their cold, dead fingers as Charlton Heston so eloquently put it. Gun control advocates are angry that this just keeps happening over and over and over and nothing ever changes.
\nThe common denominator in all of this is anger. Righteous indignation. Me against them. No one ever resolves conflict with increased conflict. The divisive nature prevalent in today’s world does nothing to diffuse anger. As a matter of fact, it seems its only point is to produce more anger and conflict. This is the work of the enemy. This is where my faith comes in. This battle has been fought for centuries and my personal belief is…the good guy wins in the end. My personal belief is…that which lives within me is more powerful than that which lives in the world. Lashing out at Mr. FixIt because I’m harboring anger over world events is counterproductive. So, how do I resolve that inner conflict? Through compassion.
\nHow do we live out the compassion of Christ in such a dark time in this world? Turning to the Master Teacher, we can cry out for Him to teach us compassion. We can read about the ways Christ showed compassion to others…even his enemies. He touched those who were sick. Even the outcast…the untouchables with leprosy. He sought them out and ministered to them and healed them with just a touch. Race, religion, social or economic status…nothing kept Christ from touching the lives of others with love and tenderness. We can read about Jesus’ tears for the fallen. How He wept for those who refused to hear His teachings. How he asked His Heavenly Father to forgive those who crucified Him for they knew not what they were doing. That in and of itself is the ultimate display of compassion. The motivation behind all of Christ’s teachings throughout the New Testament is love and compassion.
\nSo, how do you show compassion for someone who stands in a hotel room on the 32nd floor of a busy hotel and calmly executes 59 innocent people, wounds nearly 500, and changes the lives of thousand more…forever? For me, it comes from the realization that one does not do something like that unless they are not in their right mind. There is such evil in the world. Satan whispers into the lives and hearts of vulnerable people and leads them to do unimaginable, unspeakable things. My response is to pour out more love…to try to tip the scales of the world toward goodness and light. Not with a Pollyannaesque naïveté, but with the pure, genuine love and compassion expemplified by Jesus.
\nIt’s a scary world. I saw Mr. FixIt’s first little greatgrandchild this week. I held this tiny, perfect little human in my hands and prayed hard that God would keep her safe in this great big place. It hits hard when a new life is placed in your hands. In the end, the left wing and the right wing belong to the same bird. We really are in this together. There is one race…the human race…and if we want to keep going, we are going to have to find a way to come together, to get along.
\nOk, we went to church there…but, in my humble opinion…this world needs more light. For me, it is through Christ, who strengthens me. For others, it may be different. But by whatever means available, the answer to everything is love and compassion. ❤️
\n“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.”\nColossians 3:12-14 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2017-10-06T01:30:53-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/10/06/losing-your-sense-of-direction.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Forgiveness"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/09/28/grandmas-spoon.html", "title": "Grandma's Spoon", "content_html": "![\"Grandma's](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/b02fef45d0.jpg\")
\nSome time after Grandma died, I was visiting the farm. I was cooking and rummaged around in the utensil drawer for a wooden spoon to stir something with. I grew up using wooden spoons and have owned many over the course of my life. I love them. I love the feel of the wood in my hand. I love the way they gently rub the bottom of the pan as you stir. I’ve learned how to gauge the proper thickness of a sauce or gravy by how the liquid coats the spoon. Placed across the top of a pan, a wooden spoon will keep pasta or potatoes from boiling over. Drape a wet dishcloth over the end and you can scrub the inside of a jar or bottle. They’re very handy.
\nWhen I looked in the drawer in Grandma’s kitchen, there was a packet in the back wrapped in a flour sack dishcloth. Curious, I opened it up to find treasures. Grandma’s paring knife, potato peeler, and favorite wooden spoon had been wrapped and carefully put away. The paring knife was so thin and the blade was curved in an unnatural shape from the many times it had been run over a whetstone. The potato peeler showed wear from years and years of use. Potatoes were a staple in that house for at least two meals a day. But, it was the wooden spoon that got me. Stained red from a lifetime of making blackcap jelly, I held it in my hands as if it were fragile crystal. The end is worn flat from all the years of stirring back and forth, back and forth…making sure the sugar and pectin dissolved and the mixture didn’t scorch on the bottom of the pan. I could still see my grandma’s arthritic finger run over the jelly coating on the back of her wooden spoon. She pushed it along to see if it had reached the jell stage. Then she popped her finger in her mouth, licked it clean, and gave me a wink as she wiped her hand on her ever present calico apron over her ever present belted house dress with the hankie in the pocket. I never, ever saw her wear pants. Always a dress, with stockings, and sturdy black lace-up shoes with a sensible heel. My breath caught with the memory. I missed her so. I miss her still.
\nMy aunt noticed my reverie and asked if I’d like to keep the spoon. I was so touched…and thrilled. It occupied a place of honor for several years on the windowsill of my Colorado kitchen. It got tucked away when I downsized and sold my house. It made its way back to that same farmhouse kitchen in West Virginia when I finally settled back here. I remember unpacking that box of special kitchen items, taking extra care that the spoon didn’t get thrown away with the packing materials.
\nThe spoon now hangs on a pegboard over the kitchen sink. I see it every time I wash dishes and I think of my grandma and how hard she worked standing in that very spot. It’s like that wink comes all the way from heaven and I know she smiles that I am here. ❤️
\n“She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar. She gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family and portions for her female servants.”\nProverbs 31:14-15 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-09-28T01:30:53-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/09/28/grandmas-spoon.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","West Virginia","The Farm","Gratitude","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Humbled"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/09/27/twolane-blacktop.html", "title": "Two-Lane Blacktop", "content_html": "
![\"WV](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/360a30fe7b.jpg\")
\nYesterday was errand day. Up at dawn, I ran through my list of very important things that needed to be done for the camping trip I’m leaving on today. And, not surprisingly, there were a couple of things I forgot. Mr. FixIt to the rescue! Yet another of the many wonderful advantages of dating this good man! He stopped on his way to my place and picked my items up at the market.
\nDriving back home on the two-lane blacktop, I always let my mind run through the points of note along the route. There’s the State Police barracks where I took (and failed) my first driving exam. (Not my fault, mind you…there was a hole in the muffler.) There’s the county line where I got carsick when I was seven. (I have no idea why that sticks with me, but it does.) There’s the last bridge of its kind between town and the farm. (It’s a lot like the old bridge that used to be where you turn onto the country lane to drive the last few miles to the house.) There’s the old country store where we stopped for ice cream on Sunday afternoons on our way back to town. There’s the turn where I had my wreck in February. My mind takes me through every turn and hill, reliving days long gone.
\nOne of my favorite turns brings me to a straight stretch that passes the old Nutter Farm. There’s a family cemetery on the hill across the road. Every time I drive through that stretch, I get the strangest feeling. It’s akin to the feeling you get when someone hugs you. I didn’t get to meet the particular set of great-grandparents that are buried there, but somehow I feel them when I drive by. It’s a little eerie, but comforting at the same time. My great-grandfather died in his early 30’s of a ruptured appendix and left my great-grandmother with four little boys to raise. Charlie and Sabina. I have always loved her name. Folks called her “Binie”, with a long “i”. I never knew her proper name till after my last child was born or I might have named her Sabina Rose.
\nI know every turn, every pothole, every hill on that road. It stretches for miles all the way back as far as I can remember. I really get John Denver’s lyrics. “Country Roads, take me home to the place I belong…West Virginia!” I love coming home when I’ve been gone a while. When you’re there every day, you don’t notice how the house smells. But when you return from a long trip, it’s truly like stepping back in time to my childhood. It smells like old wood…damp and rich. It smells like old books and worn leather…slightly stale, dusty, and tired. It smells like iron skillets and well water. But it smells like family. It smells like home. I bought a scented candle when I first moved in last year and was decidedly dismayed when all you could smell when you walked in the back door was cinnamon apples. I stopped burning it right away and was ever so relieved when the familiar aromas returned a week or two later.
\nI count every day here as a blessing…a gift that God has brought me. This place almost seems like my reward for having lost my sweet husband. As though God said, “You’ve suffered enough. Let the memories in these walls comfort you for a time.” I know it’s not forever…one day the house will pass from one to another and I’ll need to move on. Or, more likely, there will be that point in my life when I choose to live elsewhere. But for now…for this brief time…I will live and love and laugh in the home of my heart. And I’ll remember every nook and cranny, every squeak in the floor, every line in the worn linoleum. I’ll remember every bend in the road. ❤️
\n“My people will live in peaceful dwelling places, in secure homes, in undisturbed places of rest.”\nIsaiah 32:18 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-09-27T01:30:54-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/09/27/twolane-blacktop.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Hope","West Virginia","The Farm","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Humbled","Peaceful Moments"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/09/26/i-need-this-mug.html", "title": "I Need This Mug!", "content_html": "
![\"Possum](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/2e45be9d3f.jpg\")
\nI think I finally got a handle on my possum problem here at the farm. I have been fiddling around with the cats’ feeding schedule and did some research online. I started feeding them once a day and unless they search me out asking for something in the evening, that’s all they get. By noon they aren’t eating anything anyway so I pick up their dishes and set them inside a galvanized bucket with a locking lid. Bingo! No more late night visits from a passel of possums!
\nI think this is the week to bring in the hummingbird feeders. We need to encourage them to move along before it gets too cold. We have two really hot days coming then the weather turns cool. We have so many leaves falling. This year they seem to have just turned brown and fallen off. Not a lot of color in my woods.
\nThe grass is still growing. The lawn will need mowing again soon. The days are getting shorter and there is less and less light in this old holler. I changed the light up high on the barn yesterday in preparation for long, dark winter evenings. The dogwoods are full of red berries. It’s a beautiful time of year.
\nMy talk last night was well received. They gave me a mum for my yard. I’ll cherish that. Today is prep day for tomorrow’s trip up to the campground. I think this is the last hurrah for the camping season. Always a sad thing.
\nTell me about the leaves where you are! ❤️
\n“And God said, “Let there be lights in the vault of the sky to separate the day from the night, and let them serve as signs to mark sacred times, and days and years,”\nGenesis 1:14 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-09-26T02:55:32-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/09/26/i-need-this-mug.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Positive Energy","West Virginia","The Farm","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Wisdom","Humbled"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/09/25/tethered-to-god.html", "title": "Tethered to God", "content_html": "
![\"Dock](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/e4ada266a7.jpg\")
\nA ship that slips its moorings is quickly swept to sea. At the mercy of the wind and the waves, it may sink to the briny depths, never to be seen again. Our relationship with God is much the same way. If we remain tethered to Him, we can weather any storm, but…let go and all bets are off. HE never lets go of us. It is always the other way around.
\nMr. FixIt and I have been attending the 5:00pm service at our church. It gives us all day on Sunday to enjoy the farm, then head to town about 4:00. He bowls on Sundays at 7:00 so it works out to be a good time for us. Last night’s sermon was on the detours life gives us. There are two types of detours. The kind we take ourselves on when we become untethered from God and the kind God takes us on.
\nWe are so egocentric, we think God is punishing us if we can see what He intends to give us, but he takes us the long way around instead. These trials weren’t necessarily orchestrated by God. He has a much bigger world view than we do. His grand view takes us through these trials so that we CAN have the reward He has in mind for us…even if it’s not delivered in this world. Our job is to hang on and remain tethered to Him. He is our anchor.
\nWe all have trials in this world. God uses those trials. Not as punishment. But as a way to hone us into the person He intends us to be. Suffering produces perseverance. Perseverance, character. And character, hope.
\nI have a speaking engagement this evening at a local church. I’m really looking forward to that and always pray God brings me every opportunity to praise Him and share with others how He has blessed me.
\nHave a Happy Monday! ❤️
\n“Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.”\nRomans 5:1-5 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-09-25T01:55:16-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/09/25/tethered-to-god.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Prayer","Hope","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","God","Wisdom","Forgiveness"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/09/22/when-things-dont-go-as.html", "title": "When Things Don't Go As Planned", "content_html": "
![\"Old](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/3800980b81.jpg\")
\nThe first two of our three day getaway was perfect. The weather was moderate. We hiked, fished, lazed around, read, cooked, and sat out long after dark watching the boats go up and down the river. We had to go into town Wednesday to salvage some doors, windows, and light fixtures out of a structure that’s being torn down today. It was hot, dirty work and by 2:00, we were done. We ran some errands then headed to a restaurant for lunch. We’ve eaten salads there before but I was hungry so I ordered a chicken salad wrap and fries. We left to head back up to the river to the campground and within 10 minutes, I was sick as a dog. The thing that scared me was my heart was doing weird things and I felt faint. Mr. FixIt took me to the hospital. They kept me overnight for observation and did a ton of tests. They finally decided they thought I had food poisoning. I got home from the hospital yesterday and unhooked the camper and went to bed.
\nThere comes a point when you have to realize…even though you may FEEL 24…when you’re 64…you ARE 64! That’s not “old” by any stretch of the imagination. But for the first time in a long time…I feel my age. I have to slow down just a little bit. Not enough to stop. But enough to take care of myself.
\nNot the way I wanted my little getaway to go. But I need to listen to my body and not keep pushing so hard. Today, I mattress surf! ❤️
\n“Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.”\n1 Corinthians 6:19-20 NLT
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-09-22T01:55:46-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/09/22/when-things-dont-go-as.html", "tags": ["Faith","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Growth","Grace","God","Peace","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/09/16/my-lot-in-life.html", "title": "My Lot in Life", "content_html": "
\n
![\"Windmill](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/085421e4ae.jpg\")
\nFor those of you who’ve been following me for awhile, you remember what a struggle it was to downsize when I sold my house. Getting rid of 95% of my personal belongings just a year after losing Mr. Virgo was very stressful. I have been so careful not to accumulate “stuff” again. But, I’ve got to tell ya…this Country Living Fair is exceptional. I think this is my third in a row and it seems each one gets better. I will have to say, there were a lot more people here on opening day than the last two years. If that’s any indication of the overall attendance, we’re in for a whale of an event!
\nWhen you work a Fair such as this, you try to have enough people helping that you can take breaks and wander around. As I was walking over to the main stage for Janine’s talk yesterday, I spied some windmill vanes and stopped after to price them. The one in this photo was a half vane for $600! One with two less fins was $400. Still way out of my price range. My daughter’s sister-in-law has one she got from the family ranch and has it mounted on the wall in her dining room. I’d love to have one, but A) I’m not spending that kind of money and B) I don’t have anyplace to put it right now, and C) experiences before stuff. I could have a really great trip for $600.
\nWandering the aisles of the fair is so tempting. I will tell you what I bought yesterday. A nice serving of Miss Parolee’s Kentucky Deep-Dish Blackberry Cobbler warmed up with a scoop of Vanilla Ice Cream. Windmill vane. Miss Parolee’s cobbler. I think I made the better choice! ❤️
\n“Even so, I have noticed one thing, at least, that is good. It is good for people to eat, drink, and enjoy their work under the sun during the short life God has given them, and to accept their lot in life. And it is a good thing to receive wealth from God and the good health to enjoy it. To enjoy your work and accept your lot in life—this is indeed a gift from God. God keeps such people so busy enjoying life that they take no time to brood over the past.”\nEcclesiastes 5:18-20 NLT
\n", "date_published": "2017-09-16T01:55:20-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/09/16/my-lot-in-life.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Fun","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Peace","Wisdom","Girl Camper","Girl Campers","Country Living Fair","Uncategorized"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/09/15/ooooompapa.html", "title": "Ooooom-Pa-Pa!", "content_html": "![\"Menu](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/829d6f8436.jpg\")
\nI arrived at the Country Living Fair in the early afternoon yesterday and met my Girl Camper friends. We had to wait our turn to pull the three campers into the grounds so we sat around and nibbled on finger foods and caught up with what’s been going on in each other’s lives. Girl Camper extraordinaire, Janine Pettit, regaled us with stories of her epic month long trip to the National Parks out west this summer. Gail shared that her daughter is going to live overseas for a year. Jill was excited about her new-to-her Airstream she recently redecorated. I shared the article from the Fidelity online magazine. Sisters and Girl Campers always pick up where we left off the last time.
\nI don’t know if you’ve ever gone to a Country Living Fair but the amount of work that goes on in the background to set something up this massive and intricate is astounding. We drove in on cue when it was our turn. The area where we set up is pretty tight and it took a great deal of maneuvering to get all three campers in just right. I’m glad I have some mad backing up skills because they came in handy yesterday!
\nOnce the three campers were set up, they had to be “staged”. You’ve all seen those cute campers in the magazines with all the vintage collectibles or great quilts or baskets of flowers? All those things were placed there with an eye much more skilled than mine. When these girls were finished, it looked just like a photo shoot! I can’t wait to take pictures today!
\nAs I walked through the fair grounds, the displays were eye candy for someone who cannot resist the colorful, glossy pages of Country Living Magazine. It’s like the magazine itself has come alive…its pages exploding on the grounds all around you! Antiques, linens, rusty farm implements, artsy clothing and jewelry…you name it, it’s here. Including the kitchen sink. It’s truly one of the most beautiful fairs of its kind in the country. I’m so looking forward to browsing when I can.
\nI’ve read Country Living Magazine for years. Now that I’m living a country life, it would be so easy to accumulate too much stuff again and, seriously…I really don’t want to go through that kind of downsizing ever again. I carefully curate what comes in my house now. I only have what is useful and I know to be beautiful. The trouble is…there is SO much that I find beautiful. So my third measure is…Would I rather have this “thing” or go someplace with that money. Experience over stuff wins just about every time.
\nWe ended the evening at a German restaurant where the highlight of the evening was a group of dinner guests playing cowbells to the tune “Edelweiss”. You can’t make this stuff up!
\nStay tuned…I may not be able to resist some extra posts today when I see something pretty! ❤️
\n“Each of us should please our neighbors for their good, to build them up.”\nRomans 15:2 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-09-15T01:55:43-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/09/15/ooooompapa.html", "tags": ["Travel","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Sisters on the Fly","Positive Energy","The Grand Adventure","Fun","Growth","New Ideas","Gratitude","Wisdom","Girl Camper","Girl Campers","Country Living Fair"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/09/14/he-will-cover-you-with.html", "title": "He Will Cover You With His Feathers", "content_html": "
![\"Wings](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/5a19602883.jpg\")
\nIt’s hard to believe exactly four-and-a-half years ago, I was preparing a funeral for a man I never dreamed of losing. Mr. Virgo was gone in a heartbeat, literally, and I was left to make some sense and order out of the chaos left behind. Looking back on it with today’s vision, I can see so many things I would have done differently. I don’t think I made huge mistakes, but I think if I would have known then what I know now, there are definitely things I would have done differently.
\nI hosted the Sisters on the Fly event over the weekend and there were a couple fairly new widows there. They did well, enjoyed themselves, and were very capable campers. I could see through all that to the pain that lay beneath the surface. I recognized them…I was there not all that long ago myself.
\nA couple of years ago, I was contacted by a writer and published author of many books on women and finance. She was writing an article for the New York Times on widowhood and retirement and asked if she could interview me. We have stayed in touch over the last couple of years and she has followed my blog. Recently I heard from her again. She had been asked by Fidelity to write an article about widowhood and investing and immediately thought of me. We spoke again and I shared those things I felt I did right, and those I could have…should have…done differently.
\nThe article for Fidelity’s “Viewpoints” online magazine went live yesterday and I am sharing it with you here. From the beginning, this blog was meant not only as a way to share and heal my own grief, but also to serve as a place to learn, grow, and experience support if you are grieving, and preparation if you aren’t. Knowledge is power and grief makes you feel totally powerless. I wish I would have had a grief mentor in my early stages of loss. I try to be that person for others. If it weren’t for God covering me with His feathers to guide, guard, and protect me, I never would have survived such a loss.
\nAnd now, here I am nearly five years after losing Mr. Virgo and I not only have survived, I am thriving. New life, new love, new experiences. I never would have dreamed this was possible. Today I leave for the Country Living Fair in Columbus, Ohio. Please stop by for a visit if you are in the area! ❤️
\nhttps://www.fidelity.com/viewpoints/personal-finance/8-financial-tips-for-widows
\n“He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.”\nPsalm 91:4 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-09-14T01:55:17-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/09/14/he-will-cover-you-with.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Wisdom","Girl Campers","Country Living Fair"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/09/03/the-good-ol-days.html", "title": "The Good Ol' Days", "content_html": "
![\"Wooden](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/3b97197812.jpg\")
\nWe were taking a break yesterday when Mr. FixIt started reading a story in Goldenseal Magazine. The Goldenseal has been around since 1975 and is published four times a year. It has wonderful stories about traditional life in West Virginia. And, since I’m living a pretty traditional life, I really love that magazine. The story that caught Mr. FixIt’s attention was about a clothespin factory in Richwood, WV. That got me thinking about all the clotheslines of my life.
\nWe always had clotheslines. The metal T-shaped poles were anchored in the ground with cement and lasted till they rusted through. We’d have to go out with a wire brush and a can of Rustoleum and paint them every other summer or so. Ours were always silver but the last time I painted them at the farm, I used black. I remember as a child, the clotheslines themselves were woven…a kind of rope-like material. Another was a thick aluminum wire that created a wiggly clothesline that never straightened out. Then, as we got older and the plastic generation set in, the lines were white, hollow tubes that pinched shut with the spring-hinged clothespins. Later came the plastic covered cable lines. Once we got away from the rope lines, you had to take a wet rag out and run it up and down the clothesline to clean them or else you got black stuff on your clean clothes. At least you did in the chemical-laden Mid-Ohio Valley where I grew up. (Our bare feet would be black with the fallout from Union Carbide!)
\nThe early clothespins were the peg ones then came the clip on kind with the spring hinge. I liked the peg ones because I would pretend they were dolls. I’d dress them up with pieces of material from Grandma’s scrap bag. I’d draw faces on them and, if we had any glue around, I might even give them some yarn hair. We always had a clothespin bag that hung out on the clothesline. It had a hole in the side where you reached in and grabbed a few pins and stuck them in your mouth to use as you needed them. You had to watch because sometimes wasps, or even birds, would make nests in the bags.
\n![\"Grandma's](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/e15f30e918.jpg\")
\nWhen you finished hanging your laundry, the wet clothes often made the lines so heavy, they stretched down and the clothes brushed the ground. In order to keep your clothes clean, you used a long pole with a nail in the side near one end and hooked up you clothesline, propping it up high. Hanging clothes in Colorado was awesome because it’s so dry there, a load would be ready to bring in, fold, and put away in an hour or two. Not so in West Virginia. The humidity of summer would make laundry turn into an all-day affair. And you’d better not get distracted and let the rain get on them or leave them out too late till they gathered the dew or you’d be doing the same clothes over the next day.
\nClothes that are hung dry aren’t nice and soft like the ones that come out of a dryer. They are stiff and scratchy. I hated to use towels that dried on the line. But sheets dried in the sun are heavenly! They smell so wonderful…like sunshine and Ivory Snow. Men wore work clothes when I grew up. Khaki, green, or blue…heavy cotton twill. They had to be put on wire pants stretchers to put a crease in them. That made ironing easier because most of the wrinkles were flattened out. Yes…I said ironing. Most of you have done exactly what I’m talking about. But some may not have, so I’ll continue.
\nIroning. The BANE of my existence as a child. My mom worked outside of the home once I was in school, so as soon as we were old enough to stay home alone, laundry and cooking and cleaning house became my daily routine. We didn’t have the luxury of using a dryer routinely. It was only used during the winter or very rainy days. All other times, Dad’s work clothes, our dresses, and my brother’s shirts and trousers had to be ironed. We had a “sprinkler”…a water bottle with a small perforated head on it that we would sprinkle the clothes if they were very dry and stiff. Then we would fold them, put them in a bushel basket with an oilcloth liner to hold in the moisture, cover them with a towel and come back to them an hour or so later. Before I came along, starch had to be cooked and added to the rinse water to give clothes a really crisp finish and nice, sharp creases. Once I was old enough to iron, we had spray starch in cans.
\nWho remembers the load you forgot in the washer for a day or two? Oh, that smelled SO bad and you would often get mildew stains that never came out, no matter how hard you scrubbed. You were in big trouble if you forgot a load and ruined clothes.
\n![\"Old](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/e53017a48c.jpg\")
\nGrandma had wringer washers. I loved them, but I was not allowed to use them when I was little. They were dangerous because you could get your hand caught in them and get hurt. I remember how excited grandma was when my uncle brought her a good wringer washer…long after she had an automatic set in the bathroom. She missed the old way. She thought it cleaned better. I’d love to have a good wringer washer but the water in the basement doesn’t work like it used too. Too many years of hard water corroding those old pipes. I’d be afraid the spigot would break off in my hand.
\nI still have my mom’s clothespins. They are in a copper bucket I bought many years ago. I put it on top of the jelly cupboard here at the farm. Mom’s pins got mixed up with my own, but I can pretty much tell which ones I used as a child. I found Grandma’s clothespin bag hanging in the stairwell going down into the basement so I hung it in the kitchen on a child’s wooden coat hanger I found in an antique store last year. I think this is why I love Rural King so much. They carry so many things that we used “back in the day”. It reminds me of “simpler times”, even though we worked harder. Not nearly as hard as my grandparents, but certainly harder than the average kids of today.
\nThe last picture is the clothesline in the backyard in front of the hydrangea bush. You can see a couple old clothespins…weathered and nearly deteriorated to slivers. I won’t remove them. Maybe my grandma left them there when she brought in a dish towel or two…or something she rinsed out by hand. Surely my Uncle Bob had cleaned the line with an old rag. I’m sentimental about things. There are clotheslines along the side of the house. There’s one on the front porch and one on the back for hanging things when it’s raining. Then there’s this one that runs from the back porch to the cherry tree. That one I don’t use. That one reminds me…of my loved ones long since gone. Of the halcyon days of summer when I thought life was SO hard because I had to hang clothes and iron and cook supper for my family. Of the “Good Ol’ Days”. ❤️
\n“The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing, while the soul of the diligent is richly supplied.”\nProverbs 13:4 ESV
\n", "date_published": "2017-09-03T01:55:44-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/09/03/the-good-ol-days.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","West Virginia","The Farm","Gratitude","Love","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/09/02/an-unlikey-pair.html", "title": "An Unlikey Pair", "content_html": "![\"Turkey](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/b3f35cb96e.jpg\")
\nI’ve been living on the farm a little over a year now. It went so fast, yet…as with many things…it seems so much longer. Not long after I got settled in, I began to notice an odd pair of friends at the house down the road. You never see one without the other and I cannot help but smile when I see them. They never leave the yard, wandering about nibbling up bugs and grass.
\nI don’t know the story behind these two. The family who lives there lost their mom several years ago so it’s just the guys on their own. They all work a lot and the house and grounds seem to be well cared for, but I rarely see anyone….just the turkey and the duck.
\nAs Mr. FixIt and I drove to town yesterday, I asked him to stop in the rain so I could take their picture. As soon as the car stopped, the turkey laid down. The duck never moved from the turkey’s side, but he set to squawking like crazy to let me know he didn’t like the intrusion. We sat by the road and talked to them for a bit then moved on. We forgot something and had to go back to the house and when we came back down the road, the fowl confab had moved behind the house to eat uninterrupted.
\nI thought about this pair all the way to town and wondered…Why can’t we ALL just get along like that? Those two don’t know they’re different. They just like each other’s company. Now, I’m not going to get into a political discussion. I’m not “choosing sides”. I just think we could take a lesson or two from this turkey and duck. We only have one race…the human race. We only have one life…this one. We are being divided and I’m not sure by whom. Media? Politicians? Special interest groups? Who know…who cares? I just want to love my fellow man like this duck loves this turkey.
\nGod created us all. He gave us the rule book. We can’t do this divided. The enemy wants us to fail. And if he can get us to do his dirty work for him and make us destroy each other…well, that’s just icing on the cake. Shine your light, people. Walk out in faith and fight for truth and justice….for all! ❤️
\n“Do we not all have one Father? Did not one God create us? Why do we profane the covenant of our ancestors by being unfaithful to one another?”\nMalachi 2:10 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-09-02T01:55:28-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/09/02/an-unlikey-pair.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Positive Energy","West Virginia","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Humbled"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/09/01/words.html", "title": "Words", "content_html": "
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/667f78caa0.jpg\")
\nI have seldom been at a loss for words. My mom always said I had “the gift of gab”. I was always a little insulted by that because I was sure she was saying “You talk too much!” Ok…I’ll have to admit…I do have a lot to say. About everything.
\nSome of my very best writing has come from my very deepest pain. As difficult as it was to go through, that kind of writing is actually a whole lot easier than writing from a place of joy. Of peace. Of love. Writing from pain is cathartic. It releases energy and the words have a life of their own. Someone told me I had “lost my focus” a little while after I introduced Mr. FixIt to the story. That has niggled at me ever since. She’s right…in a way. But not in the way she thinks.
\nHere’s the thing. I was driving to the farm last night after spending a lovely day in town. I am putting some finishing touches on the event I am hosting next week for the Sisters on the Fly. Between that, the trip to Colorado, the trailer breaking down, the return trip to get it, catching up with stuff around the farm, the Centennial Celebration at my high school, and nurturing a new love relationship…I haven’t been keeping my focus where it belongs. Not on grief, but on God. I was driving along that twisty turny two lane and started talking to Him. Then I realized…I hadn’t been keeping Him at the center of my life for a little while. I took my focus off for just a moment and that led me down a path I don’t like. Peter was walking on water toward Jesus when he took his eyes off Him…and sank immediately.
\nI had a long discussion with God…it’s a forty-five minute ride, you know. I made my apologies and I’ll try to do better. Because everything is better when I keep God at the center of my life. My relationships. My writing. My life. It has to be more than just lip service, this profession of faith. Keeping that fire in my belly keeps me from drowning…and keeps my words flowing. ❤️
\n““Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.” “Come,” he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!” Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?” And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.””\nMatthew 14:28-33 NIV
\nPhoto Credit: Shutterstock
\n", "date_published": "2017-09-01T01:55:56-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/09/01/words.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/08/30/a-surprising-find.html", "title": "A Surprising Find", "content_html": "![\"Greiner's](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/bfa3590f94.jpg\")
\nYesterday’s post about the old Lily Pond in City Park sparked a debate as to which pond was actually the one with all the lilies on it…the big one that is still there or the smaller one that was taken out many years ago. I set out to do some research on Roger Mackey’s page. Roger is a fine historian on West Virginia, and Parkersburg in particular. He has pages and pages of historic photos of everything from the old movie theaters to natural disasters…from the society elite to skid row…and all things in between. I can get lost for hours looking through his old photos. It’s like going into an antique store for me.
\nAs I browsed through the titles of the different pages, looking for City Park, I saw the page for Greiner’s Bakery and clicked on it. My paternal grandmother decorated cakes for Greiner’s for many, many years. The Bakery sat near the corner of my high school campus and every afternoon the smell of fresh baked bread wafted in through the open windows of my classroom, drawing my attention quickly away from the dry lectures my chemistry teacher gave.
\nI could hardly wait till school was out each afternoon. I would meet my cousin Mike and walk up the alley to Grandmother’s house. She always had a dozen raised glazed donuts and a galling of ice cold milk waiting for us. We made quick work of those delicious treats. She called them “seconds”, which meant they were accidentally dropped in the glaze twice! Their loss was definitely our gain!
\n![\"Greiner's](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/992945eaee.jpg\")
\nAs I scrolled down the old photos and read the descriptions, I stumbled across two special ones that caused a rush of memories and a great big smile. First, there was this photo of the company Christmas Party. I scanned the faces, and there…to the left…is my grandmother, smiling broadly into the camera! My relationship with my dad’s mother was complicated by her dislike for my father. I never quite understood my standing in her world, but I do have many fond memories of her. She baked and decorated wonderful cakes. She instilled her loved of seeing and crafting in me. She made the best chicken and dumplings I ever ate. She also forced me to drink unsweetened sage tea as she believed my pale skin was secondary to intestinal parasites. To this day, I cannot stomach sage.
\nI remember the house she lived in on Avery Street. Avery was one of the old brick streets in town. Grandmother’s house was a half block from a huge cemetery and just two blocks from my high school. She rented the lower level of a two story house. The landlady lived upstairs with her cocker spaniel, Honey. Honey would cry and howl every time her mama would leave the house and it made me so sad. The front porch was large and covered. There was a swing and room for several chairs.
\n![\"Toni](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/535d68717c.jpg\")
\nThe interior of the house was dark and quiet. The mahogany hardwood floors were covered with thick oriental rugs. The mantel in the front room had a clock that chimed the hour. The dining room was set up as her sewing room…an old, low, armless rocker sat in the corner. The bedroom was comfortable. A silver ladies dresser set was on the top with a brush, a comb, a mirror, a small cup for bobby pins, and a covered powder container filled with the pale grey webbing of hair nets. The tines of the comb were blue from the rinse my grandmother religiously put on her hair. The bathroom had doors to the bedroom and the kitchen. I loved the claw foot tub. I received many Toni home perms in that bathroom. The kitchen had tall, white painted cabinets and a long, deep farm sink. It was the brightest room in the house. The counters were covered with African violets growing in every possible container…including teacups. The backdoor let out to a postage stamp yard with a huge holly tree. A dogwood graced the front yard. Bits of slate tiles lay here and there around the perimeter of the house. I was lucky and found a whole one once that crash landed in the flower bed. I used it as a blackboard when I played school.
\n![\"Greiner's](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/10d2940a83.jpg\")
\nAs I scrolled past the picture with my grandmother in it, I came to a shot of the display windows in one of the newer stores. There in the left is a doll cake. Oh, my…I coveted that cake every year, begging my grandmother for one for my birthday. When I finally got one, I was elated…especially when I found out the doll’s legs were embedded in rich, buttercream frosting! The “dress” was decorated with loops and swags and flowers and I thought it was the prettiest thing I had ever seen.
\nComplicated family relationships can lead to a lifetime of resentment and hurt feelings. The other day, my post was all about forgiveness setting you free. Forgiveness hasn’t rewritten history, per se. But it has allowed me to focus on the good memories I have of my father and his family. And as an adult, I have had the utmost good fortune of getting to know my cousins from that side of the family and I have been greatly blessed by that. It is never too late to change your focus and see the good parts of your past. Yesterday’s treasured finds have reminded me of that. ❤️
\n“So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.”\n1 Corinthians 10:31 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-08-30T01:55:43-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/08/30/a-surprising-find.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","West Virginia","Gratitude","Grace","Wisdom","Forgiveness"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/08/28/forgiveness.html", "title": "Forgiveness", "content_html": "
![\"Warehouse](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/1e753e5f4c.jpg\")
\nWe had a guest speaker at church yesterday and man…did he deliver! So here we go…it’s time for some Monday Morning Motivation. We’re going to church.
\nForgiveness. Such a simple word that is packed full of power. We all need forgiveness for something. Something we’ve done that has hurt others. Hurt ourselves. Or maybe, something we did in the dark that no one knows about. Thing is….someone knows. Someone always knows. You know. And God knows.
\n“would not God discover this? For he knows the secrets of the heart.”\nPsalms 44:21 ESV
\nOur guest pastor was Pace Hartfield of Coeur d’Alene, Idaho. He tells a story of the first night his father let him drive his mother’s brand new car when he turned sixteen. There was just one caveat…he was not to leave town. So, of course, he left town. And had an accident. He had hoped to leave his dad in the dark, cruise 22nd Street with his homey, Andy, and get back with his dad none the wiser. But the deed was exposed. There was the damage to the car. And the police report. There was no way around it. Pace’s dad didn’t yell at him. He didn’t beat him. He grounded him. He also informed him he had lost his father’s trust. He would have preferred the beating, I am sure.
\nHow many time have we lost the trust of others by our deeds? How many others have trespassed against us and we have lost our trust in them? As Pace pointed out so eloquently, forgiveness requires exposure. And that exposure creates vulnerability. Oh, we hate feeling vulnerable, don’t we? We can get stuck in that exposure and vulnerability and feel shame without forgiveness. It is the forgiveness that sets us free. That frees others. Who have you literally held hostage for years by not forgiving them?
\nThe guest pastor spoke of the woman who was caught in the act of adultery. The religious leaders tried to set Jesus up by bringing the woman before him in the temple where he was teaching. They were loud and raucous and challenged Jesus to do something with her. Instead, he ignored them and stopped down to write in the sand. The leaders were outraged and became even louder. Jesus quietly stood up and said, “Let he who is without sin, cast the first stone.” He then went back to writing in the sand. One by one, the leaders left without stoning the woman till they were left alone in the temple. Jesus knew what she had done. But he loved her anyway. He did not condone what she had done, and instead offered her forgiveness and sent her on her way with the admonishment to “Go and sin no more.”
\nWe all sin. We all make mistakes. We feel guilt and shame. But we are forgiven and we are loved. Forgiveness sets us free from the bondage we place on ourselves, on others, by others. I often quote Maya Angelou…“We do what we know and when we know better, we do better.” Well, sometimes we know better and we do it anyway. Yet, still…we are loved and forgiven by a good, good Father. Our work here is to love and forgive in the same way. ❤️
\n“The eyes of the LORD are everywhere, keeping watch on the wicked and the good.”\nProverbs 15:3 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2017-08-28T01:55:55-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/08/28/forgiveness.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Prayer","Hope","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Monday Morning Motivation"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/08/26/back-on-the-farm.html", "title": "Back on the Farm", "content_html": "![\"Grandma's](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/9c6c082a94.jpg\")
\nIt’s been a year since I put down roots here on the family farm. Well, as deep a root as I can put and not own property. What a remarkable year! I battled fleas, painted walls, mowed, trimmed, pruned, cleaned, sorted, dehumidifier, and about scared myself to death that I had ruined the well or burned up the pump. I’ve learned to stop letting grief steal my joy. I’ve learned to let go of the fear of loss and clear out enough room in my life to accommodate the love of a sweet man. I’ve spoken in front of crowds, large and small. I started blogging for Sisters on the Fly as well as here on Marshmallow Ranch. I bought a vintage camper to fix up. I’ve been to Colorado twice, Florida twice, the Outer Banks, Tennessee, Savannah, Amish Country, and a fun trip to a WVU basketball game. I’ve been to concerts galore…Garth Brooks, SHEL, Brandy Carlisle to name a few. I’ve camped at some pretty cool places. I’ve been interviewed for podcasts and articles. I’ve lost some people in one way or another and I’ve gained more. I spent some wonderful time with my family. I’ve grown stronger in my faith. And I fell in love. All in one year! Whew!
\nWe got home from the trip to Indiana and It was almost dark. I had to back this camper up into the driveway and it was more challenging as the light faded. I got it in ok and Mr. FixIt was a real trooper coaching me along. He filmed it. It might be funny…I don’t know. I haven’t taken the time to look at it yet.
\nWe are going to a class picnic today so as soon as I walked in last night, I mixed up a yellow cake to bake. I’ll make Penuche Frosting this morning so it’s nice and fresh. I looked through Grandma’s notebook hoping to find her recipe but it wasn’t there. Her Brown Sugar Pie recipe was though. I’ll have to make that soon…it’s wonderful!
\nAs I sat and wrote this, Mr. FixIt asked if I could hear the owl. I couldn’t until I went to the front door. I recorded it for you and posted it last night so be sure you catch it. It’s the Eastern Screech Owl we heard the other evening on our walk. Oh…we visited with the neighbor down the road he other evening. He had a health scare while we were in Colorado and I was so happy to see him out working in his garden! It’s just another reminder how uncertain life is.
\nIf you are in Texas, or have loved ones there, you are in my prayers. Please check in and let us know how you’re doing.
\nYes…it’s been an amazing year on the farm, hasn’t it? Big things, little things, fun things, scary things. But we made it through. We’ll keep on keeping on and I’ll keep telling you these stories about this crazy, beautiful life I am privileged to lead. Thank you all for being here! ❤️
\n“and having a reputation for good works: if she has brought up children, has shown hospitality, has washed the feet of the saints, has cared for the afflicted, and has devoted herself to every good work.”\n1 Timothy 5:10 ESV
\n", "date_published": "2017-08-26T01:55:41-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/08/26/back-on-the-farm.html", "tags": ["Family","Travel","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Positive Energy","TOW-Wanda!","Fun","West Virginia","The Farm","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Girl Camper","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/08/24/ahhhhindiana.html", "title": "Ahhhh...Indiana!", "content_html": "
![\"Waze](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/e4bb02ddc6.jpg\")
\nI’m beginning to really like this state. I have been to Bloomington in the south. I’ve been back and forth along the I-70 corridor countless times. I spent a weekend here in Richmond in December 2015 when my daughter graduated from Miami University. And now I’m on my third camping excursion here. We picked TOW-Wanda up yesterday and she’s pretty as can be. They detailed her after putting on the new axle. I checked the hub temperature with my new infrared digital thermometer after driving a few miles and it was right around 97-98°. It may give me a false sense of security since the service guy told me “if it’s too hot, it’s too late.”
\nJust after we turned onto I-70 from I-77, we came to a standstill. As far as we could see, cars and trucks filled the highway like a parking lot in all three lanes. I was just telling Mr. FixIt I wished I had the extension app on my Garmin GPS to tell me about traffic when I remembered Waze. Some of my Sisters on the Fly friends were just discussing the merits of this free GPS app that is populated by user input. I had tried it a couple of years ago and didn’t like it so I took it off. I figured I couldn’t lose anything and I was sitting in a giant parking lot on the interstate so I downloaded the app and turned it on. Sure enough, it showed my location and several people up ahead posted what was going on…a car fire. When we finally started moving, there was not one, but two burned out shells of cars alongside the highway. I’ll have to see if I can find a news story about it because it was pretty impressive. I have unlimited data on my cell phone so I kept Waze running. Whenever there was a hazard, a policeman, or even a pothole in the roadway, the app let me know with an electronic voice. I’ll be using it whenever I drive.
\nThe other thing I wanted to tell you about was this really cool tool I bought at Costco. I’ve been wanting a windshield mount for my cell phone and found a package of two at Costco when we were in Colorado. I gave one to Mr. FixIt for his truck and I put the other in mine. Now I can run Waze AND my GPS as I drive and have an unobstructed view of the road. I can answer calls hands free. I can even ask Siri to read my text messages and answer them by dictating and never take my eyes off the road.
\nIf you find yourself in Richmond, Indiana in need of RV services…see Matt Green at Camping World. If you need a great campsite that’s easily accessible, check out Grandpa’s Farm Campground. And if you want a really great meal, go to O’Charley’s. Excellent! There are my PSA’s of the day. Helpful hints for your traveling pleasure…and, I get to sleep in TOW-Wanda again!!! ❤️
\n“In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.”\nPsalms 4:8 ESV
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-08-24T01:55:30-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/08/24/ahhhhindiana.html", "tags": ["Travel","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","The Grand Adventure","Fun","New Ideas","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/08/21/the-sky-is-falling.html", "title": "The Sky is Falling!", "content_html": "
![\"Eclipse](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/a6d6433016.jpg\")
\nWell, no…it’s not. I read a tweet yesterday. Teachers announced to the children there was going to be a total solar eclipse and the entire student body looked up and yelled, in unison….“NOOOOOOO!!!!!” I had dinner with a dear friend last night. He said one of his granddaughters is scared to death about the eclipse. She is convinced something horrible is going to happen because all she has heard is the urgent warnings not to go outside and look up.
\nIn keeping with all things eclipse-ish, here are three odd images that only occur during a total eclipse. The first two demonstrate a phenomena that occurs immediately following totality. It’s called “shadow bands” and looks like the ripple effect on the bottom of a pool. It is a sort of glittery effect cause by the atmosphere very close to earth. The third picture is the sunlight passing through the leaves of trees. The spaces between the leaves acts like a pinhole camera. I thought it was one of the pretty cool things about the eclipse.
\nThis eclipse has taken over “the path”…that sixty mile wide swath of land that cuts the US diagonally into two pieces…sort of like a grilled cheese sandwich. I read that for the few seconds that the moon totally covers the sun, you can actually look at it with the naked eye and see the rays radiating out from the side like a halo. That’s only in the area of totality. I’m not risking looking at anything that can turn my retina into Swiss cheese. I’ll use the pinhole projector method.
\nThe world will be back to its regularly scheduled programming tomorrow so until then…It’s Monday. It’s Eclipse Day. Be safe out there!
\n❤️
\n“I will say of the LORD, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.””\nPsalm 91:2 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-08-21T01:55:12-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/08/21/the-sky-is-falling.html", "tags": ["Strong Women","West Virginia","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/08/20/umbraphilesthe-shadow-lovers.html", "title": "Umbraphiles...The Shadow Lovers", "content_html": "
![\"Total](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/de028099c9.jpg\")
\nThey’ll chase an eclipse…clear across the ocean if they have to. They are umbraphiles. The Shadow Lovers. In 1972, Marcy Sigler chartered a ship, gathered 830 of her closest friends, and took off across the waters from\nNew York to Nova Scotia to chase the eclipse and make it last as long as possible. There won’t be another total solar eclipse viewable in the continental United States for 180 some odd years so there are, as you well have seen, a gazillion umbraphiles coming out of the closet.
\nThere are a lot of weird warnings out about the solar eclipse and it’s affect on everything from pregnancy to pets. An Indian newspaper recently warned women not to go outside during an eclipse to keep them from giving birth to a blind baby or one with a cleft lip. Eskimo women must place their cooking utensil upside down during an eclipse to ward off diseases. Also, some Indians wash their eyes out with urine during an eclipse to keep your eyes from ever hurting again.
\nI just received an e-mail from some veterinary outfit warning everyone to bring their pets into the house during a solar eclipse to prevent them from “looking up at the sun and being blinded”. Ok…is there a rash of beagles going outside at noon on any given day and staring at the sun? And if that’s the case, how about cats, and rats, and elephants? Actually, animals don’t take much notice of the sun. Pets may take notice of your excitement and react to that. You don’t need to put those cute little glasses on FiFi but if it will make you feel better, you can bring your pets in, draw the shades and let them watch the eclipse on television like respectable animals.
\nThat being said, there may be some behavioral changes in the animal kingdom. Birds that roost may become quiet and prepare for a nap while nocturnal creatures may get the signal to wake up. The darkest moments of the eclipse occurs so quickly though that those night critters will probably just yawn and turn over and go back to sleep.
\nNow, one very real thing that may occur is the decrease in electricity from all the solar arrays in the path of the eclipse. As more and more communities produce more and more solar energy, an eclipse may be more noticeable with decreased output…especially when the eclipse occurs during the summer and during peak energy use times of the summer. I’m not sure what will happen, but there some potential for disruption.
\nI was wondering if anyone has calculated the carbon footprint of the eclipse and how all the increased driving and production of waste would affect the environment. But maybe I’m just being too, you know, scientific here. It’s still a pretty cool event and if you have a chance to watch one, you really should. Just remember to never stare at the sun without the proper protection. Be safe and have fun tomorrow. We’ll talk Tuesday about what you did and what you saw! ❤️
\n“The sun and moon will be darkened, and the stars no longer shine.”\nJoel 3:15 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-08-20T01:55:38-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/08/20/umbraphilesthe-shadow-lovers.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Sisters on the Fly","Positive Energy","New Ideas","Peace","Wisdom","Peaceful Moments"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/08/17/my-hometown.html", "title": "My Hometown", "content_html": "
![\"Sunset](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/e98d9cf5c9.jpg\")
\nThere was a time in my life when I didn’t think much of my home town. I considered it terribly backwoods in comparison to the metropolis of Denver. To my chagrin, I recall making disparaging comments about Parkersburg, and West Virginia in general to anyone and everyone. It’s a wonder they didn’t revoke my home state status and mark me down as “hatched from under a rock”. What can I say? I never rebelled as an adolescent. I saved it all for long after I should have known better.
\n![\"Parkersburg](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/531ac2c362.jpg\")
\nI remember making such comments to one of my oldest, dearest friends. We went to high school together and we’re “sisters of different parentage”. As a matter of fact, when I went off to live outside London for two years then settled in Denver, it was my high school friend who kept a close, personal friendship with my mom. She was a much better daughter to her in those days than I was. When I spoke ill of my fellow Mountaineers and this Wild and Wonderful state, she had some pretty stern words to say to me.
\n![\"Woman](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/cb39f24681.jpg\")
\n“You just remember where you came from, missy. I knew you when you had nothing, just like me!”
\nOh, she was so right. I was feeling pretty full of myself…a doctor’s wife and all. Like…small town girl does good. I was an ass. Plain and simple. And I’ve done my best to make up for it. As Maya Angelou said…“We do what we know. And when we know better, we do better.” These last three years, I’ve spent more time in West Virginia than I had in all of the forty years prior. I’ve grown to love and appreciate this rugged state filled with can-do, sturdy individuals. I still get frustrated sometimes when I see progress thwarted at every turn. But maybe staying a little backward is ok. Yeah, we have been hit hard with drug problems. Poverty, obesity, poor education run rampant. Plants and mines closing down. Towns with nothing for kids to do but make more kids that do nothing. But, at the base, there is this amazing depth of pride for coming up through the hard times and standing tall when they play the National Anthem at the Friday night football games at every high school in every county. The mountains run through our veins like the coal beneath our feet and we are a fiercely proud, fiercely independent, fiercely loyal group of people.
\n![\"Barges](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/bb044e3bee.jpg\")
\nLast night, as Mr. FixIt and I sat and watched the sun set over the Ohio River at Fort Boreman Park, we looked out over this town we grew up in. You could see where the houses sat on Quincy Hill where Mr. FixIt grew up. You could see Ohio across the river. I snapped photo after photo, trying to capture for you the essence of West Virginia…of Parkersburg…of my home town. In the end, it is in the peaceful colors of the setting sun that I see the famous blue and gold…West Virginia’s colors. And I realized that we are the river and the sky, the mountains and the valleys, the wooded hillsides and the amber fields. We will always be here. Montani Semper Liberi…Mountaineers are always free. ❤️
\n“Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.”\n2 Corinthians 3:17 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-08-17T01:55:11-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/08/17/my-hometown.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","West Virginia","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Humbled","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/08/16/curiosity.html", "title": "Curiosity", "content_html": "
![\"Curious](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/51f304a219.jpg\")
\nYou know what they say about curiosity…it killed the cat! I don’t know what Kitty Boy was after, but something sure had his attention yesterday. This old stump is what’s left of a poplar tree my Pop-Pop planted when I was a teenager. Poplars grow fast, tall, and straight as an arrow but they are pretty fragile in a storm. Long after Grandma died, my aunt was living here alone and a bad storm blew up. She said that poplar tree was twisting in a circle and she was just sure it was going to come down on the house so the next time her brother came, she had him cut it down. I understand why, but it broke my heart to see it gone. Thoughtfully, they left a tall stump and we use it for the rain gauge…and occasional cat perch. I noticed as I sat and wrote this last night, the rain gauge needs emptying. It’s at five inches. It hasn’t been emptied since before I left for Colorado in early July. I’m sure there has been some evaporation, but I know we had a lot of rain while I was gone.
\nI noticed when I was mowing yesterday that the creek banks are eroding a lot this year. I pointed it out to Mr. FixIt last night. We’re going to have to line the banks with heavy stones to keep the creek from eating out into the yard and into the foundation of the house. The new dehumidifier is doing a great job and has reduced the humidity in the basement from 75% to 45-50%. That makes the whole house feel more comfortable. This house was built in the early 1930’s. And it was a cheaply made one, at that. The rough sawn timber siding has shrunk over the years and there are now gaps of nearly an inch between them. It has the original tin roof. The walls in the upstairs bedrooms are made of what looks like a stiff corrugated cardboard with several layers of wallpaper accumulated over the years. The basement is unfinished and damp and could use a good coating of a waterproofing product. There’s just a boatload of work that should be done, but here it sits…held together with spit and love.
\nI was blessed that my friend Charlotte mowed for me while I was gone. It rained the last several days though so I couldn’t mow till yesterday. I swear I could have used a bailer on it! It was still pretty wet and the grass clumped up bad as I mowed. It kept clogging up the grass chute and I’d have to stop, turn off the mower, clear it out, and start up again. It was in the 90’s yesterday and I had to keep taking breaks. It took five attempts to get the yard done and I didn’t even attempt the area up by the barn. I don’t have a rake here. Well, there may be one up in the barn somewhere but this is snake and spider season so if it’s up there, there it’s staying for now. Mr. FixIt called before he headed to the farm yesterday and I asked if he could bring me a rake. He had to kind of piece one together from parts but it’ll do. As I am writing this, he is out in the yard, raking up those ugly clumps of wet grass so they don’t kill spots in my yard. What a good man!
\nIt sounds like a lot of work, doesn’t it? This farm…this old house…this home of my heart. It is. Things are always breaking or fumbling but I fix them and move on. Yesterday it was the water. I was running a bath and it was sputtering and sent bits of black sediment from the hot water heater. It’s old and fragile. I flushed it out for a while, checked the pump, and checked the heater itself. I think it was from sitting dormant for a month. After I flushed it out it seemed fine. Yes, there’s a lot to do, and it is hard work. But, I wouldn’t trade this experience for anything. Farm living suits me. It’s brought a pride into my life I felt lacking most of my adulthood. The kind of pride that comes with working hard and going to bed tired, and happy. ❤️
\n“Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.”\nPsalm 37:4 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-08-16T01:05:28-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/08/16/curiosity.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Prayer","West Virginia","The Farm","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","The Cats"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/08/15/a-change-in-the-air.html", "title": "A Change in the Air", "content_html": "
![\"Early](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/1b9f4b761c.jpg\")
\nEven though it is only the middle of August, there is a definite change in the air. There are leaves changing already and the woods have taken on the “tired green” of late summer, having spent their glorious stores of chlorophyll in the peak of summer. Yesterday dawned cloudy and relatively cool and soon the sky gifted us with a gentle rain that lasted most of the day. So much for mowing the lawn.
\nI’m sitting on the front porch at the farm as I write this, watching the goldfinches fight over the socks of thistle seeds. Boy Cat and Old Mama Kitty are keeping me company as I listen to the rain pattering on the leaves in the nearby woods. The sun is trying to break through and make its first appearance of the day, just shy of 5:00. Since I couldn’t mow, I drove to town and ran errands. I am hosting a Sisters on the Fly event September 7-10 and I needed to make arrangements. I have 23 women signed up so far and registration is still open if you would like to attend.
\nI felt much better today…stronger, better rested. I have been thinking about triggers and how they stimulate the grief response. At first, everything is a trigger. When you are in the acute stages of grief, your feelings are like a frayed electric cord, ready to shock you at the slightest touch. After some time, things even out a bit but it is still amazing how the tiniest thing can trigger grief. When you’ve had a long stretch without a meltdown, you can get a little complacent, thinking maybe you’re through all that. So it kind of takes you by surprise when a new wave comes. That was what I felt over the weekend.
\nAs I was driving through town yesterday, I was coming up to a stoplight when I heard an ambulance approaching. I stopped and waited for it to come through from my left and make the turn towards the hospital. There was an elderly man seated in the front passenger seat and I suddenly flashed back to the ambulance ride taking Mr. Virgo to the ER from the RV dealership where he had his heart attack. I hadn’t thought about that drive for quite some time. For a brief moment, my eyes met those of the man in the front seat and I recognized that panicked and confused look on his face. There was a slight set of the jaw that was familiar. “Ok, ok, ok….let’s get this done. Be strong. Just breathe.” At least, that’s what went through my mind when I was in his shoes.
\nI didn’t have a reaction to this trigger. I was prepared. It’ll be a while before I have another grief response, I imagine. I’m a bit more on guard now. That’s a relief of sorts. I hate when the wave comes unexpectedly. For now, I’ll sit on the porch and watch the rain as the light changes and the hummingbirds fight over the feeder…and wait for Mr. FixIt to call so I can start supper. History repeats itself and life goes on. ❤️
\n“And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.”\nColossians 3:15 ESV
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-08-15T01:55:29-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/08/15/a-change-in-the-air.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","West Virginia","The Farm","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/08/14/when-darkness-calls.html", "title": "When Darkness Calls", "content_html": "
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/f3ff9d6243.jpg\")
\nI have some really great friends who look out for me. They each seem to have a role. My longest term friend “feels” when something is wrong and she needs to reach out right away. Others send articles for my reference and give me a heads up when I have a typo in a post. They know I cannot STAND typos. One sends me the funniest memes I have ever seen on the internet and spends equal time kicking me in the butt when I need it…which is more often than you may imagine. My old high school chum, Marion, sent me an excellent article the other day about what the first year of widowhood was like for Jodi of the blog Extra Grace Required. She listed the important things she learned that first year. If memory serves, I’ve written a few of those missives myself. We live and we learn and we grow as we crawl our way along on this grief journey.
\nJust because I have found new love, doesn’t mean I have miraculously “gotten over” the loss of Mr. Virgo. It means I’ve grown. It means my heart has healed enough to make room for more love in my life. It certainly does NOT mean I never have a bad day or have sad feelings. And here’s what’s most important. My bad days or my sad feelings have absolutely nothing to do with my love for Mr. FixIt. It’s complicated loving two men…one here, one not quite so much. It’s easy to love this wonderful man I’ve known almost as long as I can remember. I just have to incorporate a lot of feelings at once which is made more difficult when I’m tired and not feeling up to par.
\nOne of the things Jodi noticed after her first year is, she feels the grief of others more easily. Before loss, grief is sad, you feel bad for the one who has lost a loved one, you have your own feelings to sort out about your relationship with the departed. But, once it has happened so close to home that your heart has literally been ripped out of your chest, the grief of others is not so easily compartmentalized. Someone close to me lost a son-in-law this summer. I spoke to the widow on the phone Saturday, giving some support, acknowledging feelings, commiserating, feeling. When she broke down into those guttural cries I still remember so vividly, my heart squeezed tight, my throat closed, my stomach churned, I got hot and sweaty, my fight or flight response kicked in big time. I held it together. I didn’t crumble….until late in the night. I couldn’t go to sleep. My head was pounding and my heart ached for this young woman who is so new in this journey. I tossed and turned. I used my Rescue Remedy. When sleep wouldn’t come, I changed course and walked around the dimly lit house until I felt I could settle down. I finally slept, but didn’t feel much better when I awoke.
\nSo, it was one of THOSE days. Out of sorts. Off my feed. I didn’t even want coffee…gasp! It was a tea and oatmeal and crackers and lay low kind of day. Not exactly a day spent mattress-surfing, but close. The best part was…Mr. FixIt was there to offer comfort and support and love. He was totally nonjudgmental. He is a remarkable man. He just listened and held me and that’s all I needed. After a while, I was feeling better. Not fine, but ok. I sent him home to do whatever he needed to do for the afternoon and I settled in with my thoughts and processed.
\nProcess.. That’s what this whole thing is. It doesn’t matter if it’s one year or five years or twenty-five…grief is a process. It doesn’t always hit me like this anymore…thank God. The biggest lesson I’ve learned in all of this is, when the wave hits, don’t fight it. Let it carry you to a place of self-discovery and love. And when you’re ready, dust yourself off, wash your face, and get back to the business of living. Because, that’s what we’re here for. ❤️
\nextragracerequired.com/2017/03/2…
\n“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”\nRomans 8:38-39 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-08-14T01:55:05-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/08/14/when-darkness-calls.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","The Farm","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/08/12/hand-in-glove.html", "title": "Hand in Glove", "content_html": "
![\"Summer](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/e8f15bb98a.jpg\")
\nI fit here. West Virginia is just the right size and shape to accommodate all that is…me! We were sitting on the porch last night contemplating the “traffic” up this little country lane. Maybe a dozen or so cars and trucks have come and gone. The light turned that beautiful golden of August, giving the tired green of the trees a gilding that brings a little life back in their weary veins. Old Mama Kitty munched out on that bit of pork chop I surreptitiously dropped for her to try to keep her from climbing Mr. FixIt’s leg like a young sapling, disturbing our Friday “date night” dinner.
\nI love to cook. I didn’t for a long time, but cooking for an appreciative audience is delightful. Last night’s fare was pork chops, sauerkraut fried a golden brown, mashed potatoes, fresh corn on the cob, and home grown tomatoes. Oh my…be still my heart. Mr. FixIt rose to clear the table and rid up the dishes while I settled in to write this post. Norah Jones is crooning softly in the background. The air is still. A jet flies overhead, whisking happy travelers off to another place. Crickets, katydids, locusts, and tree frogs serenade us as we each settle in for our own interests for a bit.
\nWe are a perfect fit. A hand in glove relationship. Mr. FixIt comes out from cleaning my kitchen (seriously, is there anything sexier than a man cleaning a kitchen???) and taps me on the shoulder. He hands me a cherry flavored Tootsie Roll pop. I give him my brightest smile. He knows. He knows what I love. He listens. He cares.
\nHe got here about fifteen minutes before I woke up from my nap. He came in quietly, picked up the paper and settled into the rocker to read and wait for me to wake up. He would have waited much longer than fifteen minutes. He would never have disturbed my rest. When I got up and saw him in my dining room, I smiled and gave him a big kiss. I padded into the kitchen for a cold drink, and there…sitting in a jug of water…we’re two dozen beautiful copper-colored roses. Hand in glove. This man gets me.
\nLearning to love and appreciate this man has not taken anything away from my feelings for Mr. Virgo. If anything, it has kept that love alive and in the forefront in many ways. When Mr. FixIt does or says something sweet and loving, I smile knowing how Mr. Virgo would love the way this man treats “his best girl”. Not by way of comparison. Mr. FixIt is his own man and I love him for his own merits. But, two dozen roses? Letting me wake on my own? Doing the dishes? Bringing me a cherry flavored lollipop? Oh yes…this man fits me and I am ever so grateful for the honor of loving, and being loved, again.
\nI am home…and it isn’t all about the house, the land, the state, or even the man, really. No…it’s all about living comfortably in my skin and choosing the right guy to share it with. Hand in glove. Peace. ❤️
\n“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.”\nJohn 13:34 ESV
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-08-12T01:55:47-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/08/12/hand-in-glove.html", "tags": ["Hope","Positive Energy","West Virginia","The Farm","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/08/08/road-trip-day-thirtyonecamping-in.html", "title": "Road Trip: Day Thirty-One...\"Camping in Comfort!\"", "content_html": "
![\"Paulaner](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/85f8227926.jpg\")
\nOMGosh! After camping two nights in parking lots, Grandpa’s Farm Campground is just what the doctor ordered. Mr. FixIt and I were up at the crack of dawn and dragged our sorry butts into the IHOP for breakfast. Coffee, coffee, coffee. I slept maybe three pharmaceutically induced hours to the refrains of a hundred diesel engines idling all night. Ok, there were…like, twenty-five, ok? All I’m sayin’ is…it sounded like the 10th Armored Division were on maneuvers in my living room. Have I ever mentioned I’m grumpy in the mornings if I don’t sleep well and coffee is delayed by the briefest of moments? I thought not…I hate to tarnish my pristine reputation. Oy.
\nAfter breakfast, we sat down with the Atlas and the RV Campground Directory and figured out how long we wanted to drive today. It put us right in the vicinity of Richmond, IN…a very cute little burg. I was in Richmond when Daughter #1 graduated from college a few miles away in Oxford, Ohio at the Miami University. I stopped at this campground on my way out to Colorado this summer. It’s the one I found on a Saturday night when I was contemplating how sorry I was that I’d miss church the next morning, only to find out they have Campground Church every Sunday. It’s run by a lovely family. There is some road noise in the early evening, but it soon dies down after folks get home from work. There’s also a rushing stream along the edge of the campground that you can hear at night. AAA got me a discount and a full hookup site was $32.50. As soon as I got everything hooked up, I turned on the hot water heater so we could enjoy hot showers for the first time in three days! Heavenly!
\nBut, here’s the very coolest thing….Mr. FixIt DROVE for me all but the first hour. We were tooling along and I just hadn’t had enough sleep or enough coffee. We pulled into a service station, got my pillows and blankets out of the trailer, and I crawled into the passenger side and slept for two hours. When I woke up, I marveled at the decadence of having someone drive me around…pulling my camper with confidence, being just as careful of her as I am. It felt amazing…this giving over some control after having to do everything by myself for so long. The thing is, I kept hanging onto that control…long after I had a capable partner to help me. It was liberating in the totally opposite way of women’s liberation. It felt inclusive, a communal effort. And I was in hog heaven!
\nWe got to the campground by 3:00 which allows for so much more of an evening than midnight does. Mr. FixIt went for a walk while I wrote this post so we could just enjoy the evening without interruptions. We cooked a nice dinner and sat outside listening to the many sounds of the campground. What a precious treat this man is. Thank you God for safe travels. And thank You for bringing me such a wonderful man to enjoy! ❤️
\n“Sing to the LORD, all the earth; proclaim his salvation day after day. Declare his glory among the nations, his marvelous deeds among all peoples.”\n1 Chronicles 16:23-24 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-08-08T01:55:34-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/08/08/road-trip-day-thirtyonecamping-in.html", "tags": ["Travel","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","TOW-Wanda!","The Grand Adventure","Fun","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Wisdom","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/08/03/road-trip-day-twentysevenwhen-your.html", "title": "Road Trip: Day Twenty-Seven...\"When Your Mom Dies\"", "content_html": "
![\"View](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/692bad8a26.jpg\")
\nMy friend, Fred, lost his mom yesterday. We got the word while we were visiting Buffalo Bill’s grave. It made me think of my mom. It made me think back to when my oldest was about three and Mom came out to Colorado for a visit. I brought her up here and we sat on this very bench. She was well and happy and healthy and I thought I’d have her forever. Years later, my mom got sick suddenly and was gone in five days.
\nNature tells us our parents will age and eventually die, leaving us to go on as best we can without them. But, at least for me, we never are prepared for how we’ll feel when the time comes and we have to say goodbye to our source…the giver of life, the nurturer, the teacher, the nurse, the chauffeur, the disciplinarian, the confidant. We’re never ready…we’re blindsided with the enormity of the loss. Incredulous as it may seem, this larger-than-life woman had the audacity to grow old and leave me.
\nIt’s been thirteen years since I lost my mom. I still want to call her every Sunday evening. I think of something to share with her then sadly remember she is gone. And now Fred is a member of the club of orphans…his mom gone away from him. He is alone. My heart is with him and his family.
\nWe enjoyed the visit to Lookout Mountain yesterday. And, last night I spent the evening with all my girls. Mr. FixIt takes great pics and it was so much fun to laugh and share funny stories. Stories about their dad…and Mr. Virgo…and Grammy. We hated to break away and end the evening. We vowed to talk more often. Another day done. Another day filled with love. ❤️
\n“Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:”\nProverbs 31:28 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2017-08-03T01:55:10-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/08/03/road-trip-day-twentysevenwhen-your.html", "tags": ["Family","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","The Grand Adventure","Grace","Wisdom","Aging","Fitness Friday"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/08/02/road-trip-day-twentysixon-sharing.html", "title": "Road Trip: Day Twenty-Six...\"On Sharing\"", "content_html": "![\"Daisies\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/cba0e5e988.jpg\")
\nThere has been a major shift within me this trip. I wasn’t sure going into this vacation how I would react sharing the space that is mine in Colorado with both Mr. Virgo’s memory and Mr. FixIt’s presence. How would everything fit? At home on the farm in West Virginia, Mr. Virgo only occupies space in my mind and heart as well as what few tangible things I have kept that were his. Here, he lives in the mountains, he sits in the sunsets, he whispers in the wind that blows through the trees. He’s everywhere. Would he distract me too much? How would I feel entertaining two men…one very much here, the other very much real but not here?
\nI took this wonderful man to “meet” Mr. Virgo and I needn’t have worried. He respected my space. He listened intently. He waited patiently. And at the perfect moment, he walked up behind me, wrapped me in his arms and said, “I’m so sorry, Ginny. I know this was so hard for you. You’ve been through so much and you are very brave.” His arms were a comfort. My fingers intertwined with his as I leaned back against him. I felt his warm breath in my hair. For a moment, I remembered what this same position felt like with Mr. Virgo. Then I let it go…like a feather on a breeze…dancing and floating away from me.
\nTime has allowed me perspective and healing. Choice has brought me ever onward and upward. Prayer has given me strength where there was none. Mr. FixIt has given me…Love. Hope. Trust. Joy. Peace. Companionship. Friendship. Laughter. Stability. Comfort. Contact. Connection. I am grateful. This shift has a lot to do with all of the above. Sharing this space with my new love is helping me to, yet again, redefine its meaning. Redefine who I am…redefine my “status”. I know it’s different for everyone. For me, at four and a half years…it’s a choice. I choose love. It is my purpose in life. It is the one thing I am to practice, to hone my skill at. To emulate in a Christ-like way. Not just my love for Mr. FixIt or Mr. Virgo…but for everyone.
\nI’ve been asked when I will share a picture of Mr. FixIt with you. And the answer is…not in his lifetime. Not a definable picture, anyway. Distance, maybe. From the back, sure. His hands, definitely. He has the hands of a hard-working man and I love them. But I won’t be sharing his name or his face because those are mine. I share everything else with you…my pain, my fears, my hopes, my joys, my struggles, and my triumphs. I do so without reservation as this is my platform…my purpose. I share to spread love and promote healing. This one great thing…this glimpse into who he really is in real life…is the one tangible thing I will fervently protect.
\nYesterday was a day shared with loved ones. My heart is full. ❤️
\n“If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”\n1 Corinthians 13:2-7 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2017-08-02T01:55:19-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/08/02/road-trip-day-twentysixon-sharing.html", "tags": ["Colorado","Family","Travel","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Positive Energy","TOW-Wanda!","The Grand Adventure","Growth","Gratitude","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/07/31/road-trip-day-twentyfourin-jesus.html", "title": "Road Trip, Day Twenty-Four...\"In Jesus' Name\"", "content_html": "![\"On](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/87bbb1d1c4.jpg\")
\nWhew….some Mondays we just have to go to church here at the Ranch. Especially when I’ve heard a sermon like yesterday. Let me tell you a little bit about how God works in my life. There’s a church here in Denver that I really like…Red Rocks Church. It’s very much like my home church in West Virginia…contemporary, progressive, energetic. I love it and couldn’t wait to take Mr. FixIt. Red Rocks Church has four campuses plus a prison outreach. One campus has the pastor live and all the others watch a live feed on the big screen in their respective churches. I usually go to the Arvada campus, but I really wanted Mr. FixIt to hear the sermon live. I was planning to drive down to the Littleton Campus in order to accomplish that. I’m always quick to get ready but yesterday I just couldn’t seem to get it together. I couldn’t believe it when I looked at the clock and saw we would be lucky to make it to the local satellite church. We made a bee line and got there in time to grab a cup of coffee and get seated. As we were walking into the sanctuary, a volunteer said, “You’re in for a treat today…the pastor is here live with an amazing message!” I couldn’t believe it. If we would have left on time to get to the other church, we would have been watching the pastor on the big screen! God fascinates me. His ways are so mysterious. His love is so complete.
\nThe message yesterday was about the Samaritan woman at the well again. The pastor spoke about five words and how they relate to all of us. Pain. Prison. Power. Platform. Purpose. The Samaritan woman had suffered pain…as we all have. She was living in a self-imposed prison of isolation as she avoided interacting with others. Then she had an encounter with Jesus at the well and experienced His power. She used her experiences of Pain, Prison, and Power as her Platform from which she could share her testimony. This allowed her to live her Purpose.
\nI don’t know about you, but I struggled for nearly sixty years trying to figure out what my purpose is in this life. I hadn’t done a very good job being a wife until my third marriage. I didn’t feel I had been a very good mother, although I tried and I did the best I could with the knowledge and experiences I possessed at the time. It wasn’t till I lost Mr. Virgo and spent three months in the wilderness and backroads of Colorado that I discovered my purpose is to love. To accomplish this, I have built this new life from the ashes of who I was before the fires of grief changed me.
\nThe pastor used an example of someone who has turned her pain into her platform. At seven years old, Gabriella has had more pain than you can imagine. After a diagnosis of leukemia, it has been this innocent child who teaches the doctors and nurses…and, anyone in earshot, really…about Jesus. She comforts her mother when she worries about her and says “Don’t worry…God’s got this!” As they were taking her into surgery to place the port for chemo, this brave little girl only said three words but she said them over and over for two hours before they wheeled her into the OR. “In Jesus’ name…In Jesus’ name…In Jesus’ name.” When the folks from the Make a Wish Foundation contacted Gabs and her parents to find out her wish, she couldn’t think of what to ask for. She didn’t need anything. Finally, after weeks of contemplation, she decided last Saturday what she wanted. She wanted to preach at Red Rocks Church. So, yesterday, this beautiful little angel…just a wisp of a thing in her flower halo…bravely marched out onto the stage in front of hundreds of strangers. She held her notes in one hand, the microphone in the other, and she told us about her friend, Jesus. And how He holds us in the palm of his hand. She said we don’t need to be afraid because when she was afraid before her chemo, it was Jesus who comforted her. She said that was why she had wanted to be “bapatized”…because she loved Jesus. I’m telling you…that was the most powerful service I have ever attended. There wasn’t a dry eye in the place and I was so grateful to have been in the front row to witness it live.
\nThe rest of the day was beautiful. We drove up to the top of Mt. Evans after church. At 14,134 feet elevation, we were quite literally in the clouds. After the power of witnessing the faith of that child, standing on top of the world seemed almost inconsequential. Afterward, we went to Central City for supper and to wait out the Sunday evening traffic returning to Denver. By the time we were back and told our stories of the day to our family, we were spent. Yes, some Mondays I just have to take you to church. This was one. ❤️
\n“And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.”\nJohn 14:13-14 NIV
\n#Jesus, #wisdom, #faith
\n", "date_published": "2017-07-31T01:55:55-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/07/31/road-trip-day-twentyfourin-jesus.html", "tags": ["Colorado","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Hope","Positive Energy","The Grand Adventure","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom","Humbled","Peaceful Moments","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/07/25/road-trip-day-nineteenthe-long.html", "title": "Road Trip: Day Nineteen...\"The Long Slog\"", "content_html": "![\"Wiring](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/202eb78953.jpg\")
\n“Eula Faye” is my F-150…a beauty for sure, but she lacks guts. As I figured, climbing these mountains pulling TOW-Wanda was brutal and pushed her to her limits. I watched fearfully as the transmission temperature steadily climbed, maxing out at 232 degree. I immediately moved off the side of the highway and let her cool back down to her baseline of 194 before starting again. Consequently, it was a very long drive to our campsite on the Western Slope. It was 94 degrees when we unhooked at 3:00. I went in to start the air conditioner to start cooling off the camper when It wouldn’t work…again. It just so happens, we are camping 27 miles from the RV dealer where I bought this camper so I immediately called to see if they were open. We drove straight over and arrived 15 minutes before closing time. We took the old thermostat with us and they ordered us the replacement part. It will arrive by noon today.
\nI don’t like to say bad things about a business because they could just be having an off day or maybe here was a miscommunication. As we left town yesterday, we stopped at Camper World to get a replacement thermostat as they are a Starcraft Dealer. There were three men behind the parts counter and I got three different answers. The general consensus was the part is obsolete. I couldn’t imagine that to be true as this is a 2015 camper. The young guy went back in the back and brought a thermostat us and said, “This will work.” I looked at the thermostat and back at him. My thermostat has a six wire harness. The one he brought up was nine. When I pointed this out he said, “Just don’t hook up three of them.” Right. I ignored him and turned to the one closest to me who was at least tying to help me by looking up the actual part number. Then he told me it wasn’t in his computer so it must be obsolete. I asked him if the company who manufactured the thermostat had a replacement part number. He had no idea how to contact them. Finally, I excused myself, spent fifteen minutes researching on Google and found the approved replacement thermostat from RVUpgrades.com. I did buy two padded club chairs that are much more comfortable than the ones I bought last winter. Then I left.
\nHopefully the new part from the dealer on the Western Slope will work and we’ll have the AC back. Fortunately, the temperature cooled off enough to made sleeping more comfortable, and it is supposed to cool off later in the week.
\nWe took my brother to dinner last night. It was so, so good to see him! We’ll visit again today. I know this isn’t a profound and insightful post. My trip posts are just there to let you know what I’m up to, places I think you might be interested in, and the wonderful people I meet along the way. Like Rick…the helpful hardware man at Ace. Rick has been following Marshmallow Ranch for at least two years. When I pulled into the neighborhood Ace store yesterday to top off my propane tanks, Rick came out to help me and greet me with a great big hug! He was so excited to meet Mr. FixIt. We stood and visited for quite some time. When I came back out from paying for the propane, he asked if he could pray with us for safety for our trip and blessings for our relationship. I went to the truck and got Mr. Fixit and we stood right there in the parking lot of the Ace Hardware and prayed together. It was very touching. So, even though the truck struggled, even though the AC wouldn’t work, even though it was hot and sticky trying to sleep…I let it all roll off me like water off a duck’s back. Blessings abound! ❤️
\n“For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.””\nMatthew 18:20 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-07-25T01:55:06-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/07/25/road-trip-day-nineteenthe-long.html", "tags": ["Colorado","Travel","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","TOW-Wanda!","The Grand Adventure","Gratitude","Grace","God","Wisdom","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/07/21/road-trip-day-fifteen-focus.html", "title": "Road Trip: Day Fifteen \"Focus\"", "content_html": "
![\"Moose\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/2ba5b7f1aa.jpg\")
Moose
I am in my fifth year writing this blog. The original page was intended to showcase art jewelry I was making out of antique silverware and maps. Then Mr. Virgo died and it morphed into a grief blog. I dealt solely with the monumental task of putting one foot in front of the other and surviving that horrid loss. In an effort to cope, I put something joyful in front of me in the form of a small camper and a group of spunky women who liked to travel and have adventures. The focus gradually shifted from the darkness of death to the possibility of living after loss and eventually I started breathing again. With each stage of grief, with each right of passage, with each new thing, the focus of my writing has shifted to accommodate the change du jour.
\nA reader commented yesterday that my site has “lost its focus”. I had to sit down and give myself a good self-examination. For what seemed like an eternity, the only thing I could talk about was pain and death and grief and darkness. Thank God that’s not the focus of all my writing any more. It means I’m healing. So, what IS the “focus of my site”? Trailers, camping, travel, Girl Campers and Sisters on the Fly? Not entirely. My family in Colorado and West Virginia? Somewhat. The farm and the cats? Sometimes. God and how He has touched my life and moved mountains? Much of the time. My writing is all of these things and more. I’m part storyteller, part preacher, part analyst, part therapist. I’m part comedienne, part realist, part widow, part mom. Because that’s what life is…it’s 10,000 things all at once so I write about the 10,000 things and try to make some sense of it all. Because out there…somewhere out there is a widow that’s hurting, a wife who was left, a child who was molested. And somewhere in here is a story that just might help one of them, whether it seems unfocused or not.
\nWhile the subject matter of my blog has indeed varied over the years, my focus has not. My focus is to help people in any way I can. To be of service. To quote John Keats, “Love is my religion…”. I will admit, writer’s block has me occasionally writing diary-like posts a la Bridget Jones. And this new, wild and wonderful love story I’ve got going on here is distracting, to say the least. I take constructive criticism to heart and I will try to write more focused essays in the future. I have no problem hearing constructive criticism. We all have room for improvement. ❤️
\n“Whoever heeds life-giving correction will be at home among the wise.”\nProverbs 15:31 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-07-21T01:55:09-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/07/21/road-trip-day-fifteen-focus.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","New Ideas","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Wisdom","Humbled"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/07/20/road-trip-day-fourteenmy-person.html", "title": "Road Trip: Day Fourteen...\"My Person\"", "content_html": "
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/c8844e1c7a.jpg\")
\nI’ve been holding my breath for months now. I wanted to talk to you about it, but I couldn’t. It was really complicated and it was scary and it had to do with Mr. FixIt and I hadn’t told you about him yet. I was still trying to figure out how to introduce a new character into our little story here without changing the dynamic so much that you ran away in droves. Come to find out, I needn’t have worried about that. Everyone has been so wonderful and supportive of my new love and I am so grateful. So, now I can tell you the other half of the story.
\nMr. FixIt and I hadn’t been seeing each other romantically very long when he had an annual physical and some blood tests came back abnormal. The doctor wanted to wait three months and then repeat the lab work and this time it was even worse. He referred us to a specialist and Mr. FixIt had a series of tests. One of the possible diagnoses was leukemia. My heart both sank through the floor and jumped out of my chest. This was my biggest fear…that I would fall in love with this wonderful man and be over-the-moon happy only to have him get sick and die on me. Leukemia. Just thinking the word made me physically ill. And Mr. FixIt was flat out devastated that he just found happiness and the rug could get pulled out from under us. He hated that this scared me to death. It scared him, too.
\nHe had a bone marrow biopsy and after waiting three weeks, we finally heard the news we had been praying for. It is NOT leukemia! Thank you, Jesus! That’s the good news. The bad news is we still don’t know exactly what it is, because there IS something going on. But our doctor contacted the specialist at West Virginia University and they both agreed to watch and wait six months and repeat the tests then.
\nI let out my breath. This man has become so important to me. He has stolen my heart. We’ve known each other since we were kids. We’ve always been great friends. That came first. But to fall in love, to open my heart again and to love so deeply after the profound loss of Mr. Virgo…only to lose again? I couldn’t bear the thought. I prayed…fervently. I asked others to pray…unspoken prayers, specific prayers, prayers for healing. “Please, don’t let it be cancer!” “Please heal him.” “If he’s sick, let it be something easily controlled and non-life threatening.” Denying. Bargaining. In his favor, Mr. FixIt is extremely healthy, walks 5-6 miles a day, has purposefully lost sixty pounds, and eats a healthy diet. I can’t help but think, whatever this is, it can’t be too awfully bad or he wouldn’t be this healthy. So I’ll breathe. I will relax a little. I didn’t realize how wound up I was till I heard the doctor on the other end of the line in our phone conference Tuesday.
\nAnd now, my sweetheart is here with me! Oh…standing in the greeting area of DIA yesterday, my heart leapt with joy when I saw this handsome man, this lean and lanky guy with the graying red hair, my best friend in the whole wide world coming up the escalator! I could hardly wait to get a hold of him. Our good news of the day before underlining the poignancy of the moment. What would I have done? What if it would have been the worst case scenario? It is not unreasonable for my widow-mind to go there because I’ve been there before. Well…I’ve had a little time to think about those “what ifs”. And I’ll tell you what. Our love is long term. Platonic for the majority of our lives…romantic for only the last few months. It doesn’t matter. When you love someone, and you are dealt a blow, there is only one thing to do…you just hold hands and walk into the fire. Together.
\nWe are grateful we have each other at this time in our lives. We celebrate this wonderful chance at love. We thank God for his bountiful blessings. We put our trust in Him for He has plans for us. ❤️
\n“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.””\nJeremiah 29:11-14 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-07-20T01:55:37-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/07/20/road-trip-day-fourteenmy-person.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Grief","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Wisdom","Aging","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/07/19/road-trip-day-thirteenin-him.html", "title": "Road Trip: Day Thirteen...\"In Him\"", "content_html": "
![\"John](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/342f8b4e98.jpg\")
\nThe phone dinged. I had a text.
\n“Are you awake?”
\n7:30am on vacation. A Tuesday.
\n“Yes!”
\n“I have to bring the van back and pick up my car and I’m stopping at Starbucks. You want something?”
\nOMGosh! I love this woman…daughter or not.
\n“Yes, please!!!”
\nDaughter #1 is a busy woman. Even though she is technically “off” on summer break, her oldest is on swim team and practices eight times a week. She’s helping her BFF remodel a kitchen. She carts her youngest to this camp or that. She took a whole passel of kids to a concert Monday night. She’s organizing a cleaning a house that is a challenge. She’s always ready at the drop of a hat to be someplace, help someone, do something. And yesterday morning, that something was to curl up on the twin bed in my slide out, coffee in hand, for an hour and a half of uninterrupted conversation with her mom.
\nI miss this. I miss my babies and their activities. Big grew five inches since I was here at Christmas. Little at least two. Their hair is long, their knowledge increased, braces are gone. At the same time, I’ve found peace and love on a farm in West Virginia and I can’t imagine not living there right now. So, I continue to come here twice a year, summer and Christmas. I did suggest perhaps next summer everyone can come visit us!
\nI met one of my Sisters on the Fly friends for lunch and walked around the mall for some exercise. I heard on the news yesterday that it was something like the 23rd day in a row of 90 degrees or above here in Colorado. At least it’s a dry heat. It’s much easier to exercise in the mall than outside. It turned out to be another wonderful day.
\nI have learned that when I am in the Word…when I am God-centric…when I am Faith-focused…I have peace. A peace that surpasses all understanding. This is supernatural. This is standing in Grace. This is Joy. I am so grateful. ❤️
\n““I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.””\nJohn 16:33 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-07-19T01:55:30-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/07/19/road-trip-day-thirteenin-him.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Hope","Gratitude","Grace","Love","God","Peace","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/07/18/road-trip-day-twelvehe-sent.html", "title": "Road Trip: Day Twelve...\"He Sent Me Birds\"", "content_html": "
![\"Two](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/9cf889e03b.jpg\")
\nSometimes it takes a couple days of cogitation before I recognize a sign. You’ve heard me say many times that Mr. Virgo sends me birds to let me know he is near. Strictly speaking, souls in Heaven have no connection to us here on earth. Dogma dictates our loved ones cannot see or contact us. I can’t quote you a scripture to support this, but I would not doubt there is one. That being said, since the Discovery Channel has not sent a team of investigators and a film crew to the other side and brought back photographic evidence of what Heaven is like, I prefer to believe our loved ones can and do watch out for us. It gives me hope. I physically saw Mr. Virgo’s spirit leave his body. I know for a fact the spiritual realm is real. Therefore, I believe he sends me birds.
\nThe first such occurrence happened early on after Mr. Virgo died unexpectedly of a heart attack. It was late summer and I had recently returned from my three month sojourn in the wilderness and backroads of Colorado. For the first eighteen months, I brought a good sized rock to place around the perimeter of Mr. Virgo’s grave. I had just placed several rocks from my trip and sat back in the car next to his grave so I could get out of the sun. I was overcome with grief and laid my head on the steering wheel and sobbed…that loud, raspy, snotty cry that comes in the early weeks and months after such a profound loss. As I started to regain some control, I heard a bird…fairly close…singing. I looked to my left, and there…on the boundary post not three feet from me…was a mountain bluebird. He was looking straight at me, singing his bluebird song, and tilting his head this way and that as he watched me…intently. I held my breath, afraid to move because I didn’t want to scare him away. He stayed there for the longest time, then finally flew off into a thicket across the road.
\nFor months, every time I went to the cemetery, bluebirds would come. First one, then two…then five, eight, twelve! Flocks of bluebirds! One warm spring day a year after Mr. Virgo’s death, I had the door open and my feet propped up on the door handle. Suddenly, three bluebirds swooped down and landed on the top of the open door. Two more flew in and rested on the side view mirror. I was stunned! As I traveled, birds would come sit near me. One morning in Missouri, as I was programming my GPS, I heard a tap, tap, tapping on the driver’s side window. I looked and there was a goldfinch sitting on the little edge of door, tapping on the glass. This has continued on and on…for four and a half years.
\nSaturday night, I had a dream. A nightmare, really. Mr. Virgo is seldom in my dreams. As a matter of fact, my dream life has largely vanished since his death. But Saturday night, he came and sat on my bed. He looked at me and said he was leaving. I woke up in tears. It felt like a “breaking up with you” kind of leaving. It tugged at the far corners of the abandonment issues I have largely put to rest. It didn’t feel good and made me a little sad. Then, Sunday night…the owls came. Two BIG Great Horned Owls…in the daylight…in a highly urban area…50 feet from me. They sat there in the tree for twenty minutes or so…softly hooting…when first one, then the other, soared on silent wings off to another area. It didn’t really occur to me that Mr. Virgo could have sent those owls…until the second dream.
\nSunday night, he came again. This time he was…softer somehow. Hazy. Ethereal. His voice was thinner…farther off. Again, Mr. Virgo told me he was going away. This time it felt…kinder, gentler. I woke up and lay there in the dark. This didn’t feel like abandonment. This felt like putting the binding on a quilt, tucking the ends in neat and tidy before placing the anchor stitch. Mr. Virgo was saying goodbye. I’ve felt him with me many times in the last four and a half years. Little has seen him. She told me every time he looks at me, he smiles. She was six at the time. I think he knows I’m really, truly ok. I think he knows I’m safe with Mr. FixIt. I think he knows he doesn’t have to watch over me anymore. Does this mean my grief is “over”? No…it means it’s morphed into yet another form. This shape-shifting beast has been largely tamed at this point. It will raise its head every now and again, but for the most part…it is healed. Scarred, but healed. Maybe this has more to do with ME letting go.
\nI will always notice the birds and I will smile in remembrance. But, I will never again think of them as coming from Mr. Virgo. ❤️
\n“Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”\nHebrews 4:16 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-07-18T01:55:04-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/07/18/road-trip-day-twelvehe-sent.html", "tags": ["Colorado","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Hope","Positive Energy","The Grand Adventure","Gratitude","Love","Wisdom","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/07/17/road-trip-day-elevenyou-are.html", "title": "Road Trip: Day Eleven...\"You Are Worthy\"", "content_html": "
![\"1](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/506ac1d14a.jpg\")
\nOk, we’re going to church here in a little bit…fair warning. But first, I want to share something cool that happened. As I settled in TOW-Wanda last night after a fun-filled day with the family, I heard the soft hoot of an owl. A Great Horned Owl, to be precise. I jumped up and quietly opened the camper door only to see a pair of huge owls sitting in the tree about 50-60 feet away from where I stood…in awe, I might add. This is not something one sees ordinarily. Not in the daylight and not in a large urban area. I wish Little could have been here…she is really into Harry Potter right now. She would have loved to see the owls.
\nLittle went to church with me and really had a wonderful time. She enjoyed the worship team. She brought up points from the sermon during the day and told me I need to take her whenever I go there. We went to a friend’s house in the afternoon to help her paint her kitchen then, after a little quiet time in the afternoon, we attended a graduation party. It was a beautiful day.
\nYesterday’s sermon was about the Samaritan woman at the well. The story goes, Jesus is waiting by a well while his disciples went for food. It was noon when a Samaritan woman came to the well to draw water. Jesus asked her to draw a drink for him and she objected. Jews and Samaritans did not mix company. The pastor has, of course, read this passage countless times, but recent events altered his interpretation. Last week, he and his family went on a trip to Africa to check on Missionaries they are working with. One morning, they went to the well at the base of a mountain and it was crowded with women and children from the villages above…filling their water containers to haul back up the mountain to their homes. Just to survive. And the next day and the next would find them doing the same thing. One would think the drudgery of hauling heavy loads of water back up the mountainside would create a dismal mood at the well. But, that wasn’t the case. There was much laughter, hugging, the sharing of news and stories among this community of women. This was their only social outlet…their only time to get the love and support we all so desperately need in our lives. Then they headed home, their containers full, till they descended the next morning.
\nAs the pastor watched this activity, he thought of the Samaritan woman and a line from the scripture struck him in a way it never had before. It said the woman came to the well at about noon. Now, noon is the hottest time of the day. No one would come to the well at such a time and try to haul heavy containers of water. Why would she have chosen to come when the others were not there? What was going on in her life that would cause her to forego a sense of community. His answer lay in the rest of the scripture. The Samaritan woman had been married and divorced five times. She was living with a man who was not her husband. She was well aware of what the others thought of her and she just couldn’t face the scrutiny, the judgement, the name-calling and whispers. She was ashamed. She felt unworthy. Till she had a chance encounter with Jesus and He taught her that her worth comes from God…not from the opinions of others. That she was just as worthy in His eyes as any other.
\nHow many times have you felt unworthy? How many times have you avoided interactions with others out of fear of condemnation? How many times have you shut down simply because it was easier than facing what others throw at you? I know I spent far too many years feeling unworthy of love, of respect, of kindness. The child of an alcoholic, the victim of childhood sexual abuse at the hands of two different men…these things set me up for low self-esteem and all the resultant destructive behaviors one does to cope. It wasn’t until I felt the unconditional love of a Father I had never known that I began to recognize my worth. I believe God sent Mr. Virgo to talk some sense into me and love some of that pain away.
\nYou are worthy. You are loved. Don’t let anyone ever tell you that you are “less than” or “unloveable”. It simply is not true. God doesn’t want you to wait till you have your act together to come talk with Him. He loves you exactly where you are, exactly how you are, in spite of what is going on in your life. That is the message from the sermon yesterday and I just felt I needed to share that with you today. It’s Motivation Monday…time to straighten up your crown and own your worth today, dear ones. ❤️
\n“With this in mind, we constantly pray for you, that our God may make you worthy of his calling, and that by his power he may bring to fruition your every desire for goodness and your every deed prompted by faith. We pray this so that the name of our Lord Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ.”\n2 Thessalonians 1:11-12 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-07-17T01:55:28-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/07/17/road-trip-day-elevenyou-are.html", "tags": ["Travel","Uplifting Stories","Prayer","Hope","Positive Energy","TOW-Wanda!","The Grand Adventure","Gratitude","Love","God","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/07/16/road-trip-day-tenshe-is.html", "title": "Road Trip: Day Ten...\"She Is My Crown\"", "content_html": "
![\"Girl](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/ef66f15d76.jpg\")
\nDear God in Heaven…thank you for bringing this small human into my life! She and her sister are the delights of my life. Yesterday was our semi-annual “Nana and Little’s Day of Fun!” Each grandchild gets to pick and choose what they want to do with Nana, where and what they want to eat, and how the day and night will play out. Big is thirteen now so we pretty much go shopping and have lunch although last summer she did want to go to the Denver Aquarium with me. Little is only ten and she is still all about the fun we can have. Her day is always centered around shopping, doing a craft or baking, and a sleepover in TOW-Wanda. She told everyone at the mall what the significance of the day was and what we’ve done and what we’re going to do. She’s like me…gregarious, funny, creative. Her sister is the thinker, brilliant, caring…strong and tender.
\nLittle always comes up with the funniest things. She is deep and profound and hilariously, seriously funny. Our first stop was 2nd & Charles…a bookstore where you can sell or trade your old books, movies, CD’s…even vinyl. There are three bins out front filled with free stuff. Yesterday, I picked up a book by Michael Moore, a cookbook with gluten free recipes, a Dr. Who Christmas Ornament still in the box, and Audubon’s Field Guide on Insects and Spiders of North America. Not a bad haul. As little and I rummaged through what was left in the bins, she came across a coloring activity sheet from either a Sunday School or Vacation Bible School. Jesus was standing with several children and someone had placed a sticker over his mouth. Little turned to me and said…“Nana…I can’t tell if this is Jesus or a Jedi.” For some reason that just totally cracked us both up and the more we laughed, the funnier it got. Joy…sheer joy. This is my reward for being puked on at 3:00am…for putting up with a sassy pants teenaged girl…for the pain of letting her grow and get married and move to the opposite end of the country. This. This sweet child and her sister.
\nLast night was dinner out with the other grandparents and a viewing of the first Harry Potter movie with popcorn. We “camped” in the driveway in TOW-Wanda. This morning is church with my girl. My heart is so full. ❤️
\n“Children’s children are a crown to the aged, and parents are the pride of their children.”\nProverbs 17:6 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-07-16T01:55:59-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/07/16/road-trip-day-tenshe-is.html", "tags": ["Colorado","Family","Travel","Uplifting Stories","Hope","Positive Energy","TOW-Wanda!","The Grand Adventure","Fun","Gratitude","Love","Wisdom","Aging"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/07/15/road-trip-day-ninechill.html", "title": "Road Trip: Day Nine...\"Chill\"", "content_html": "
![\"Stop](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/aebb8b214f.jpg\")
\nWhile traveling in a camper, one must stay on top of housekeeping tasks or things soon spiral out of control. Living in a small space requires planning and organization…both monumental tasks for this poor Gemini mind of mine. I would just as soon drop everything and chase butterflies, but the pile of dishes in the sink and the basket of laundry in the corner were calling my name yesterday. Actually, I don’t really mind a day of puttering around the “house”. It gives me ample time to visit, contemplate, plan, and write. There are some things I’ve wanted to research online the last week or so and this little bit of down time allowed me to do that.
\nThis fall, Dominion Gas will begin construction on a compressor station about a mile or so beyond the back property line of the farm. I’ve driven past them and they are noisy beasts but I’ve never really known how they work or what they are used for. A week or two ago, I posted a video here of a jack pump on a gas well head. These pumps feed gas in small lines to a larger compressor station that presses the gas, squeezing out the air molecules, and allowing the gas to flow through larger lines. Without the compressor, pipelines would have to be huge in order to accommodate the volume of gas that needs to flow through them. The problems lie in some of the safety issues involved in mechanically compressing highly volatile natural gas. Compressor station and large gas line explosions are not unheard of. There was a large gas line explosion on I-77 a couple of years ago and it literally melted the highway and damaged an overpass. There are some issues with health effects of these compressor stations and I’ll be doing more research on that.
\nThere are a lot of things that can go wrong with something like a compressor station. There are a lot of things that can go wrong with every scenario we face in life. After I do due diligence and I’m satisfied with the answers to the questions I have about this new construction so close to my family farm, I’ll be able to let that go and deal with the next thing. This was not always the case with me. I spent far too much of my life walking a tightrope of fear. Fear of the unknown…the what-ifs…kept me paralyzed a lot of the time. I have elected to opt out of so many things that could very easily have brought me much joy and certainly could have broadened my horizons simply because I was afraid of what could go wrong. I think there are many of us who do that. I think being a widow could have certainly exacerbated my fears. As a matter of fact…it did for much of the first year, year and a half. I still have to make a conscious effort to make the choice to be excited about what can go right.
\nI used to be so pessimistic. I think a lot of my fear was driven by my need to be in control at all times. If I always exercised caution, we would all be safe. If I could keep myself and those I love from doing anything vaguely dangerous, I wouldn’t have to feel the pain of loss or injury. Then Mr. Virgo died. And I realized I had no control. Not even a semblance of control. I can’t keep bad things from happening to those I love or to myself for that matter. All I can do is pray for safety and look for the ways every situation might be used for joy and for the glory of God. Walking a path of love and joy and hope is far more fulfilling than looking for every way in which things can go wrong.
\nAnd, things WILL go wrong. It is, after all, the nature of things. It’s how we react when things go wrong that makes a difference in the peace we can feel in this life. Let go. Let God do His thing. Exercise caution…let go of fear. A fine line. A tightrope. But one well worth practicing. ❤️
\n“When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. In God, whose word I praise— in God I trust and am not afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?”\nPsalm 56:3-4 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-07-15T01:55:14-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/07/15/road-trip-day-ninechill.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/07/13/road-trip-day-sevenso-you.html", "title": "Road Trip: Day Seven...\"So, You Thought You Were Done, Eh?\"", "content_html": "
![\"Odometer\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/e5ef22681a.jpg\")
\nI ran an errand yesterday morning. I didn’t have much of an appetite. I had my coffee. I snapped the picture of the odometer to show you how much I drove in one week. The cloud cover was grey and threatened thunderstorms all day. And soon…my mood matched the grey skies and I retreated to TOW-Wanda to figure out what was going on. First off…I’m flat out exhausted. Pulling this big of a camper is harder than pulling little TOW-Wanda. I’m more convinced than ever that she’s going south to storage and be used as our winter refuge as snowbirds. Second…much as I was hoping not to, the altitude is still an adjustment. I’m just smart enough this time not to go higher and exercise till I acclimate. Third…I’m still healing from my concussion. Fourth…I did not eat right as I traveled. Fifth…I miss Mr. FixIt and he won’t be here till next week. And Sixth….ahhhhh, Sixth. Grief caught up with me yesterday…not only by my surroundings, but also by these damn Facebook Memories. Damn. Damn, damn, damn. I know I tell you often…“You don’t ‘get over’ grief…you get through it”. And yes…that is SO true. And maybe if the first five things weren’t in play, and if FB hadn’t decided to smack me up the side of the head with pictures of Mr. Virgo’s grave, it wouldn’t have hit me so hard. But, they were there, and I am here. Colorado. This is where Mr. Virgo “lives”. Well, the memories of him. They are strong…and yesterday, I was weak.
\n![\"Grave\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/26d38a9ef1.jpg\")
\nI had a massage scheduled with my daughter. As nice as that sounds…I couldn’t do it. I didn’t have it in me. All I wanted was a popsicle and Mr. FixIt. And, as much as I miss him….I was actually glad he wasn’t here yesterday. I will not use him as a pacifier for grief. That is a road that, while comforting to know I have someone who has my back, is best navigated alone…at least for a time. Till I get it together. Twenty-four hours…thirty-six tops. I mattress surfed. I read. I played games on my phone to keep my mind moving. Amazingly, I didn’t cry. I talked it out with Mr. FixIt and with my family who love me more than anything. And I practiced self care. Self soothing.
\n![\"Grave\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/1f8efb80fb.jpg\")
\nKnowing how to navigate these waves is the gift I received from having been down this particular road so many times over the last four years. Knowing the waves aren’t as high, they don’t hit quite as hard, and they don’t last quite as long…those are the gems God threw down in the flames along this fiery path and that I obediently picked up…whether I understood their importance at the time or not. Today is another day. And if I’m not tip-top…there’s tomorrow. It’s the nature of grief. It’s not even about Mr. Virgo himself, really. I’ve reconciled myself to the loss. No, this is like an echo of pain and memory that opens a door in your heart…for just a few moments. Just long enough to let pain leak out and spill on the scars like a wash of acid. So, you retreat and set about scrubbing up the mess. You don’t stuff it back in the hole. That makes it worse the next time. Instead, you sit with it. Roll it around between your fingers till it turns to dust, then you sweep it away and quietly close the door. Till the next time. ❤️
\n“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.”\nIsaiah 43:2 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-07-13T01:55:27-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/07/13/road-trip-day-sevenso-you.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Hope","Love","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/07/10/road-trip-day.html", "title": "Road Trip: Day 4", "content_html": "
![\"Trim](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/1636bc7ec3.jpg\")
\nThis is the part of the trip where I’m always ready to be there yet I have a long way to go. It would be one thing if I were just meandering along without an agenda, but I’ve got grandbabies to see and I’m ready to be there NOW! Between not being able to drive over 60 (you shouldn’t drive over 65 while towing anyway!) and all the construction zones at 45-55mph, this trip feels like it takes forever. I always stop every four hours, stretch, get a bite to eat, use the facilities, and stretch out on the bed for a power nap of 30 minutes or so. When I stopped at 5:30 yesterday, I walked around to the passenger side of the camper and about a third of the trim over the wheel well was flapping in the breeze. I took it off then went to Walmart for a package of nuts and bolts to screw it back on securely. By the time I was done with all that, it was after 8:00. I started watching for signs for campgrounds and before long I had a site secured in Kan-Do Kampground. I really enjoyed speaking with the owner at checkin…she was a hoot!
\nIt was pretty hot and stuffy when I pulled in so as soon as I got the electric hooked up, I flipped on the AC and…nothing. The switch “hesitated” a couple of times last year so I imagine it needs fixed. It seems like an awful lot of “bugs” are showing up this year. I don’t know if that’s normal or not, but I don’t like it.
\nChurch yesterday morning was very nice. A lot of people attended. I’m going to try to get an early start this morning but don’t know if I’ll make it all the way to Denver today. Safety first! ❤️
\n“But as for you, be strong and do not give up, for your work will be rewarded.””\n2 Chronicles 15:7 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-07-10T01:55:17-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/07/10/road-trip-day.html", "tags": ["Travel","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","The Grand Adventure","Fun","Gratitude","goRVing","Love","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/07/09/road-trip-day-three.html", "title": "Road Trip: Day Three", "content_html": "
![\"Campfire\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/6997667d33.jpg\")
\nI had to say goodbye for now to my Girl Camper friends yesterday morning. I hit the road about 8:30 after enjoying coffee and breakfast burritos with the early birds. Hookup was easy and after doing my safety check and checking the air in my tires (thank you Jeremy and Stephany of RV Family Travel Atlas!) I was on the road in no time. I did find this new truck can’t tow nearly as fast or stable as the ole one. It must have something to do with that rear axle ration. It was still a little windy yesterday so that might have been a contributing factor. I can’t drive much over 60mph with this truck but then again, you shouldn’t tow over 65 anyway so it’s probably just as well. Maybe I’ll look at trucks in Colorado. The 373 rear axle ratio is much more available out there.
\nI really took it easy yesterday. At lunch time, I pulled into a rest area and had lunch and a little power nap. I stopped at Camping World and bought extension mirrors so I can see around the back of my camper. I also bought some covers for the bedroom windows. The first thing I did when I bought this camper is take out the valances and shades. I hated them. But, when I travel alone and nap in the rest areas by the truckers, I’d just as soon not be so visible from the outside. I bought some Command Hooks and two cat litter mats that were the perfect size. I stuck the hooks on the outside of the camper and hung the mats over the windows on the outside. That way I still get air circulation when I open the windows. Brilliant!
\nI pulled into another rest area at supper time and ate and stretched out again. I guess I needed to catch up with a little sleep. One thing I do when I drive is think about stuff. And I talk things over with God. It’s our special alone time. I was telling him how much I hated missing church this weekend. Especially since our pastor is coming back from vacation today. My plan for driving this trip was drive, stop, eat, nap, repeat. I really had no intention of camping in RV parks. When I was in Camping World, I saw the new RV Campground directory…their three inch thick book listing all the campgrounds that give a Good Sam discount as well as many other. I’ve always found it very helpful. When I woke up from my nap, Spirit told me to look in the book for the closest RV park. I know better than to question so I did and there was one three or four exits away called…get this…Grandpa’s Farm Campground. There were others, but that’s the one that jumped out at me. I called. They had one site left. I took it and was there in ten minutes. There was a group of about thirty people out on the front lawn playing bingo as I pulled in. Located right on the bank of a rushing stream, the sites were nicely spaced down at the end where I was parked. Full hookup with Wifi was $34.50 with the Good Sam discount, tax included. As I was signing in, I noticed on the map “This campground is run by a Christian family.” Camp Church is at 8:30 in the morning…free coffee and donuts at 8:15! Isn’t God good to provide a safe, clean place with church in the great outdoors?
\nI took advantage of the full hookups to do some housekeeping last night. The tanks needed emptying and I hooked up to city water, turned on the hot water heater, and took probably the best shower of my life. And that did me in for the night. I always write my posts at night before I go to bed. I have to get into the Word when I write and search for the perfect scripture to go with it so this becomes my evening meditation. Another day safe, and closer to my babies. Mr. FixIt arrived safely in Florida last evening so I am very grateful for that as well. Have a happy Sunday! ❤️
\n“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”\nRomans 15:13 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-07-09T01:55:13-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/07/09/road-trip-day-three.html", "tags": ["Travel","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","The Grand Adventure","Fun","Gratitude","goRVing","God","Wisdom","Girl Camper"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/07/08/fun-around-a-campfire.html", "title": "Fun Around a Campfire", "content_html": "
![\"Hitch](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/9812bc4646.jpg\")
\nTraveling on a cross-country road trip, you must be flexible whenever possible. Yesterday’s forecast had severe thunderstorm warnings off and on all day with winds predicted to top 50mph. I don’t know if you have ever driven in winds like that or not, but it is ill-advised to do so while towing a camper. I figured if I was going to be overtaken by severe storms, I would just as soon be in a campground with a bunch of girls I know so I stayed put another night. Today is another day. As it turns out, I would have driven right through those bad storms as they were right along the way I would have been traveling so it’s a good thing I stayed where I was.
\n![\"Morning](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/87eb4bd47d.jpg\")
\nYesterday was a lovely, lazy day filled with naps and reading, conversation and laughter, and plenty of good food. Too much good food. I did have to move my camper…twice. I had only reserved a site for one night and it was booked for last night. I moved and set up at another site but didn’t think to go online and reserve it. I just filled out the reservation form. After I got everything set up, I took a nap then got a call from the park employees telling me the site I was in had just gotten booked. So, off I went again. Unfortunately, this one wasn’t long enough to stay hooked up so I had to disconnect. That’s ok…I’m a pro at hooking up and unhooking this trailer now. It’s no big deal.
\n![\"Beaver](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/5af3f994bb.jpg\")
\nThe purpose of stopping here to camp just a few hours from the farm was to surprise the head Girl Camper, Janine Pettit, and her good friend, Mary Brennan Morey, as they begin a four week tour of several national parks, including Yellowstone and Glacier. If you haven’t checked out the Girl Camper Facebook page or the Girl Camper podcast series, you really should. Not only are they informative, but they are just plain fun! I filmed Janine yesterday doing her F-150 Fitness Routine that she learned from MizzFitness herself, Bianca Jade. Janine is going to stay fit on the road by doing this routine every day as she explores the highways and byways of America.
\n![\"View](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/cd4b1f8ed1.jpg\")
\nThere’s nothing like spending time with other women who are camping enthusiasts. Sharing knowledge, stories, and camaraderie is such a bonding experience and we forge life-long friendships over the campfire. I never would have dreamed how important my girlfriends would turn out to be at this stage of my life. ❤️
\n“My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command.”
\nJohn 15:12-14 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-07-08T01:55:46-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/07/08/fun-around-a-campfire.html", "tags": ["Travel","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","The Grand Adventure","Fun","Gratitude","Wisdom","Girl Camper"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/07/06/beware-the-wolf.html", "title": "Beware the Wolf", "content_html": "
![\"Wolf](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/d217486e43.jpg\")
\nThe other day when I wrote the post announcing my new love, one of my readers noticed the ring in the picture and remarked it was big and she certainly hoped I hadn’t loaned Mr. FixIt the money to buy it. At first, I was a little offended. After all, she doesn’t know me or Mr. FixIt. I always like to respond in some way to everyone who takes the time to write comments on my blog. This time I waited a couple of days to respond. I knew there was a teaching moment in there. I just wanted to make sure it was the right lesson.
\nOnce I took the time to think through what my reader had said, I realized her intent was honorable…and quite legitimate. She knew a widow who had fallen prey to a scam artist and she lost everything. She now lives in an efficiency apartment with her worldly goods and a small pension. My initial response was much like what one of the following articles states…“Well, that couldn’t possibly happen to me!” Come on, it’s not like ANYONE gets up one morning and says, “Gosh, I think I’ll go out and fall in love and lose all my money today.” Lonely, mostly older women who are single, divorced, or widowed are quite often approached by scam artists posing as single, divorced, or widowed men…most often on Facebook and dating sites. They strike at our most vulnerable moments…the holidays. They know we are alone. They know they can’t get us all…but they can get some and that keeps them coming back for more.
\nI have received countless unsolicited friend requests from “military men” and “foreign contractors” with handsome profile pictures. When I last tried match.com a couple of years ago, the most common trait of the men who approached me online were 6'2", Catholic, a widower, retired, and had a mid six-figure income. Seriously…if a man is that good looking and has that much money, he sure as the dickens doesn’t need to troll on match.com to find dates. He’s going to (more than likely) hook up with that 40-something tennis player down at the country club. Once you see these phonies, you recognize them and you can move on. They are banking on the newbies…the most nervous, the scared, the most unsure, the most vulnerable. I bit once before I figured it out. I have no idea what he took from me. My profile, most likely. Somewhere out there, there could be a fake profile with my picture, trying to scam widowers. I hate that, but there is absolutely nothing I can do about it.
\nBack when I was attempting to date, I had no problem running a background check on someone who expressed an interest in me. I started out with a simple Google search. Then I contracted with a reputable background search company and placed an order. Within a few hours, I received a fairly detailed report. You do need to have the person’s birthday to get more accurate results so there would more than likely need to be some initial contact, but it’s easy and can save you a lot of heartache down the road. The most accurate indicator is your gut. If this guy seems too good to be true, he probably is. Move on if there are doubts. It’s just not worth losing a minute’s rest over.
\nThe problem with this kind of crime is, it often goes unreported out of embarrassment. No one wants to admit to falling for a scam. There are legitimately wonderful, fully available, honorable men out there. They often don’t come forward though. They don’t want to come on too strong. And they don’t want to get shot down. If you want to be in a relationship and no one is beating a path to your door, try starting a conversation in the produce section of the local market or the library or church. Try NOT to be a Casserole Queen…that semi-desperate woman who pounces on every new widower or divorced man in the neighborhood and shows up with the best fried chicken in five counties. Because…there’s going to be fifteen other Casserole Queens right behind you. Be the one who is different, who can offer something the others can’t. Mr. FixIt is a mechanically adept individual. It just impresses the heck out of him that I can back a camper up on a dime and have a nickel left over and mow the lawn in a single session. Beyond the fact that we’ve been friends for nearly half a century, I have some mad skills in areas that interest him. That’s what good men look for…good women who are interesting and can bring something to the table. One whiff of desperation will send him packing. It should work that way for you as well. If a man comes on too strong or wants too much too fast, don’t worry about hurting their feelings. You have no one to look out for your best interests but yourself. Listen to your gut. Choose “alone” over “Mr. Wrong”.
\nToday I head out on my big trip!!! I’ll be giving you the play-by-play but I won’t divulge my exact location in real time. I’ll tell you about the campgrounds and sites the day after I leave them. This is for my own safety. While I’ll miss the heck out of Mr. FixIt…I’m so excited to see my babies! And, I love a road trip!!!
\nHere are some articles for reference.
\n\n\nwww.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti…
\n\n❤️
\n“How useless to spread a net where every bird can see it! These men lie in wait for their own blood; they ambush only themselves! Such are the paths of all who go after ill-gotten gain; it takes away the life of those who get it.”\nProverbs 1:17-19 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2017-07-06T01:55:05-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/07/06/beware-the-wolf.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","The Grand Adventure","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/07/05/a-room-with-a-view.html", "title": "A Room With A View", "content_html": "\n![\"Greenery](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/e6c1e057e7.jpg\")
\nThe last few nights have been insufferably hot and muggy in the farmhouse. There is a room air conditioner in the living room, but unless you’re sleeping on the couch, it doesn’t effectively cool down the house and ends up running up the electric bill to no avail. The best alternative is TOW-Wanda. Equipped with fans and open windows, it’s been pretty darned comfortable out there. I will miss this view of the bank along the driveway here at the farm. The lush green of West Virginia summers may bring bugs and humidity, but the foliage is a sight to see any given day of the week. Colorado is semi-arid so it is a sharp contrast from here. At least it’s a dry heat, right?
\nI emptied out the belly of the camper yesterday and cleaned the floors. I reorganized the contents of the big tub of odds and ends I keep down there. After repacking, I cleaned out the fridge, scrubbed the floors and vacuumed the carpets. The pantry needs vacuumed and wiped out then restocked. The bathroom needs a good scrubbing and I need to organize the storage under the bed and in various cabinets. Since this new truck doesn’t have the torque the old one had, I need to be more conscious about my weight.
\nI’ve made a list of last minute items for the trip. I’ll go into town for those today. Tomorrow I head out on another segment of The Grand Adventure. The longest Mr. FixIt and I have been separated was when I went to Colorado for a month at Christmas. We didn’t like it one bit. I so wanted to tell you about that homecoming back then but it was not the right time. I can tell you now. I flew in and out of Dayton because it is SO much cheaper and my dear friend Cindy lets me park at her house so I don’t have to pay for parking. That drive to the farm from Dayton felt like it took forever. I knew Mr. FixIt was at the farm waiting for me and I could hardly contain myself. It was after dark when I pulled into the driveway and I stopped dead in my tracks. For the first time since I was a child, the house was decorated. There were trees lit on the front porch and a large lit-up star on the second floor above the porch between the two windows! It made me cry. I jumped out of my truck and ran into the house squealing like a little girl. Mr. FixIt walked out from the living room and I stopped, mouth agape. He was wearing charcoal dress pants, a crisp white shirt, and a red sweater vest. He took my breath away and I knew…anyone who would do this for me was a keeper. He knew how much Christmas means to me and how much I love this house. He knew I missed having a country Christmas at the farm, so he made sure I had one on my return. What a wonderful guy!
\nMy babies live in Colorado. I have to see them as often as I can. In the meantime, Mr. FixIt has obligations he must attend to here. We couldn’t stand the thought of being apart two whole months so he’s flying out to join me for three weeks in the middle of my trip so he can meet the family. We’ll go camping and sightseeing as he has never spent time in Colorado. The kitties are covered, the farm is being watched, my sweetheart is coming to see me, and I get to spend quality time with my girls! What’s not to love about that? Sweetness. Sheer sweetness! ❤️
\n“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”\nEcclesiastes 4:9-12 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2017-07-05T01:55:46-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/07/05/a-room-with-a-view.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Positive Energy","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","The Grand Adventure","Fun","West Virginia","The Farm","Gratitude","Love","God","Wisdom","Peaceful Moments","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/07/02/towwanda-is-home.html", "title": "TOW-Wanda is Home!", "content_html": "![\"Starcraft](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/2c1ae1f8a4.jpg\")
\nFirst of all…OMGosh! Your response to my post yesterday was more than I could have ever imagined. Thank you all so much for the lovely comments, likes, and shares. You warmed my heart! I was so worried that introducing a new party to this adventure would change the dynamic and people would drop away. It turns out, more people tuned in so we’re off to a good start in this new chapter of Mr. FixIt and me! Of course, grief is a lifelong process so I will still touch base on how that affects me as we go along. Ever the teacher.
\nThere’s an interesting timbre to this new man. None of the men I have been with in my sixty-four years were mechanically inclined. Mr. FixIt, however, is a mechanical engineer and a lifelong camper. Imagine how difficult it was for him to sit back and watch as I hooked up and unhooked my camper. Oh…this is entirely new territory for this guy! He wanted to do the heavy stuff for me, and while I certainly could have sandbagged and let him, I still will be traveling alone some of the time so I need to keep up my skills and know for certain how things have been hooked up. I know, I know…control issues. I asked him sweetly to wait till I got what I needed to do done, then I would share some of the other duties. I also told him when we camp in his campers (he has two!) I will sit in a chair and watch him till he has a job for me to do. I made it up to him by doing all the cooking and fixed some pretty fabulous meals! He did a wonderful job changing out the gas lines for me and helped me troubleshoot the electrical bug we had. He doesn’t get the name Mr. FixIt for nothing!
\nWhen we arrived home I told him I needed to back the camper into the driveway rather than pull it in like I usually do. With the vintage camper up at the end of the drive, there was no room to get the truck out and around the camper. Our road is a narrow country lane and the driveway is tight. I have to say, I totally impressed Mr. FixIt with my mad backing skills! He was bragging about me at dinner Friday night when we met 20 of our classmates at a local Italian restaurant. I don’t think this guy has ever run across a woman like me. He just looks at me in amazement. It makes me smile.
\nI washed the exterior of the camper yesterday. It hadn’t been cleaned since I was in Myrtle Beach in September of 2015. It looks so much nicer now. I need to do a deep cleaning inside in the next few days, reorganize, and pack her up for the trip cross country. I leave Thursday. I am traveling alone so I won’t be divulging my exact location when I’m there, but I’ll be checking in daily to give you progress reports and tips for traveling solo in a camper. Mr. FixIt gets to come join me in a couple of weeks and meet the family. That’s exciting!!! In the meantime, he’ll be holding down the fort for me and keep the farm going.
\nBack off girls…I saw him first! ❤️
\n“Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else, for each one should carry their own load.”\nGalatians 6:4-5 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-07-02T01:55:39-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/07/02/towwanda-is-home.html", "tags": ["Travel","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Sisters on the Fly","Positive Energy","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","The Grand Adventure","Fun","West Virginia","The Farm","Gratitude","goRVing","Love","God","Wisdom","Girl Camper"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/07/01/when-i-becomes-we.html", "title": "When \"I\" Becomes \"We\"", "content_html": "
![\"Two](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/f40518c61a.jpg\")
\nYou could knock me over with a feather. I never, ever dreamed I would get another chance at a deep, loving relationship after losing Mr. Virgo. I’ve walked this path of widowhood for over four years now. At first, I was adamant. I would never have another relationship because I would never go through this again. It was just too hard. I had an ill-advised attempt at dating just five months after my husband died suddenly. It didn’t take me long to figure out that was a bandaid that I hastily slapped on the gaping hole where my heart had been. When I ripped that bandage off, the pain was even more unbearable. I didn’t try again for another year. My second attempt wasn’t much better. Both were perfectly nice men. They just weren’t for me. And the timing was still too soon. I had a lot of healing to do before I could risk dating so I made up my mind I’d just give it to God. I told Him if He had someone for me He’d have to just dump him in my lap because I wasn’t going out there looking anymore. It was too hard on me and it wasn’t fair to involve men and break hearts along the way.
\nI’ve kept myself busy. I’ve traveled. I’ve deepened my relationship with God because He became my primary focus. My writing grew in depth and meaning. My reach broadened. I had everything I needed. But I still wanted someone to share it all with. I was planning to live up at the river again when I came back to West Virginia last August. Then I got the call that my aunt wasn’t doing well and was going to go live with her brother. My uncle asked me to live on the family farm. And I put down more roots than I’ve had since I sold my Colorado house three years ago. It has been an amazing time of healing for me. I have a wonderful group of friends and a rich social life here.
\nSometime in the fall, I ran into an old friend from high school. I’ve known him for almost 49 years. I was fifteen and he was sixteen when we met. He was on the stage crew and I was in the art department. One day I was up on a ladder painting a backdrop. I heard someone clear his throat. I looked over and there was this tall, lanky redhead with the most beautiful blue eyes and an impish grin. We became fast friends and always looked for each other in the halls. Funny…we never dated in high school. We were both shy. We both went on and dated others and after graduation, our paths went in different directions. We never forgot each other though and were always so happy to catch up at class reunions.
\nSometime before Thanksgiving, we ran into each other and the timing was finally right for us. He invited me out for lunch and the rest, as they say, is history. He understands me. He is tender and sensitive to my needs as a widow. He has made room in our relationship for Mr. Virgo because he realizes he is only gone physically. He listens to my stories. He knows Mr. Virgo would have been the kind of guy he would have respected and enjoyed being around.
\nI’ve been leaving breadcrumbs for you here. I’ve spoken of “my friend”, “my traveling companion”, and even his blog identity…“Mr. FixIt”. He has fixed many things for me…around the farm, around my heart, around my life. He is so much fun to be around. Sweet, attentive, open, honest to a fault…an honorable man I am proud to be with. We wanted to keep this to ourselves for a while for a number of reasons…not the least of which was just savoring every moment with it being just us. Now, we’re ready to step out into the world and walk through anything life hands us…hand in hand. I wasn’t sure how to tell you. I am not sure how this news will be received. But, since the very beginning, this blog has been about speaking openly and honestly about my grief journey…and this is just another twisty turn in it. My grief is not over. It will never be over. I’ve gotten through the worst of it, by far. Even though I’m in a relationship, I am still a widow. Once a pickle, always a pickle…you don’t get to go back to being a fresh cucumber again. I have always wanted my story to be about my love for God and to give you hope. Hope that, if you want to travel, pull a little camper, write a blog, or fall in love again…you can. Life comes to a screeching halt after the death of a spouse. Everyone’s grief is different…but, you CAN find joy again. I’m living proof of that.
\nI hope you will stick around and see what comes next. I hope you’ll share the love and joy and hope. It’s all about beauty. It’s all about love. It’s all about life. ❤️
\n“Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?”\nAmos 3:3 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2017-07-01T01:55:15-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/07/01/when-i-becomes-we.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Fun","West Virginia","Gratitude","Love","God","Wisdom","Aging","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/06/26/that-one-day-in-june.html", "title": "That One Day in June", "content_html": "![\"Collage](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/18221483da.jpg\")
\nThere’s one day in June. It’s perfect. The temp hovers at 80 with a nice breeze. The puffy clouds float in a clear, blue sky. The green is ever so slightly past the bright apple green of spring but not nearly the darker green that come with July’s heat. A green that is so intense and so pervasive you feel EVERYTHING is chock full of chlorophyll. From the moment you rise to the time to rest your head on the pillow again, the day is chock-a-block full of fun summer activities. Yesterday was just such a day!
\nIt began, of course, with church. Pastor Justin was away so the team leaders each came forward and spoke about the mission statement and the various guidelines our church works toward. It was informative and encouraging. Afterward, I changed into shorts (I still cannot force myself to wear shorts to church!) and headed to the park to walk. When I got out of the truck I saw a huge crowd and realized there was a car show going on. What a treat to walk around and talk to these auto enthusiasts and run into folks I know! Once I had seen all the cars and trucks, I walked two miles. As I did my laps and passed the baseball field, two teams started to warm up for an afternoon game. I stopped and watched a bit. Then I went to Marietta for a late lunch of Mexican food. I drove my friend home and headed out to the parsonage at the Methodist Church in Smithville for the going-away party being held in honor of Pastor Matthew and his fiancé, Felicia. It was bittersweet telling them goodbye. I have grown quite fond of them both but I know I will see them in Ohio. It was wonderful to share stories of how God is working in all of our lives and to spend a couple of hours win fellowship with some wonderful people that I have met through the local Revivals.
\nI drove home in a soft rain then watched the sky turn scarlet as the sun set. It was a day to remember. I love those best. ❤️
\n“He told them this parable: “Look at the fig tree and all the trees. When they sprout leaves, you can see for yourselves and know that summer is near. Even so, when you see these things happening, you know that the kingdom of God is near. “Truly I tell you, this generation will certainly not pass away until all these things have happened. Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never pass away.”\nLuke 21:29-33 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-06-26T01:55:06-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/06/26/that-one-day-in-june.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Hope","Positive Energy","West Virginia","The Farm","Gratitude","God","Wisdom","Peaceful Moments"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/06/25/weekend-walkabout.html", "title": "Weekend Walkabout", "content_html": "
![\"Bowl](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/aece33df3a.jpg\")
\nIt rained off and on all day Friday. The remnants of Tropical Depression Cindy finally blew through at about 7:30 in the evening. I went for a drive up over the far ridge and picked berries till I got to a place where a tree was down across the road. I hooked up a heavy duty tow line but it had landed right beside another tree and was locked in like a gate. So I backed up a ways and did a three-point turn to get out of there. Right about then, my phone went crazy with tornado watches and severe thunderstorm warnings. The sky opened up as soon as I got home. All told, we got an inch and a half of rain overnight which was good because we were getting pretty dry.
\nI met my high school girlfriends for coffee yesterday morning which is always a delight. I won’t get to see most of them till fall. I went for a drive in the afternoon and bought a couple hummingbird feeders as mine developed a leak. Then I stopped at this little hole in the wall BBQ joint in a nearby college town for the best…ribs…EV-ER! Got home and went for a long walk as the evening cooled then settled in here on the porch to watch the lightning bugs. It was another beautiful day in paradise!
\nAs I was walking along the little two-lane blacktop by the farm, I got to thinking about yesterday’s post about patience and realized patience, or rather…the lack thereof, is really all about control. Not control as in controlling your temper. I’m talking that illusion we so often carry with us that somehow we have control in this life. There are somethings we do have control over. Our reactions. Our attitudes. Our immediate needs to a certain extend. If we fail to “save for a rainy day”, we’ve passed up an opportunity to control our spending. My patience runs thin when others don’t do things on my time line and that’s where we get into trouble. The girls and I were discussing this at coffee yesterday. My point was “I want what I want and I want it now. I ALSO want what I want and I want it NOW. I try. I really try to remember what a doctor told me once. He was counseling Hubby #2 and I when we were having an amniocentesis. We were talking about our older daughter and how we were trying to get her to do some such thing…I don’t remember what now. He said, “Here, let me write this one piece of advice down for you. It will absolutely change your life and you’ll never forget it.” He proceeded to pull out a 3x5 card, wrote something on it and handed it to us. It read…“Give up all illusions that you have control of your children after they’re 13.” So true. Oh, there was a little more control when we could take away the car keys. But other than that, if you don’t have the good stuff in them long before they turn 13, you’ve gone way past the cutoff date.
\nI can’t control anyone. I can’t even control myself sometimes. Control is an ill-conceived illusion of power where there is none and causes more problems in relationships that anything else, in my opinion. Money quarrels…control. Housework conflicts…control. Relationship issues…many are just power struggles. So how do you give up control? Heck if I know. I’m still working on patience. I suppose the best way to give up control is to ask God to help you remember that HE is in ultimate control and you’ll keep trying to move out of his way. When you let go of a kite, it will fly straight and true. But if you try to hang onto the tail, it’s not going anywhere. Practice, practice, practice. You’d think we’d have this all figured out by this age, wouldn’t you? ❤️
\n“Then Jesus said to his disciples: “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. For life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?”\nLuke 12:22-26 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2017-06-25T01:55:33-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/06/25/weekend-walkabout.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Positive Energy","God","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/06/22/there-is-hope.html", "title": "There is Hope", "content_html": "![\"Before](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/f0aa30cee2.jpg\")
\nIf you are grieving, please know there is hope…for healing, for brighter days, for joy. Those of us who have walked this particular journey know full well the feelings of hopelessness that come in the dark of night. We know how hard it is to find the motivation to do the simplest of everyday tasks like personal grooming, cleaning house, cooking. Preparing a meal becomes Herculean. Brushing your teeth is as daunting as climbing Everest. Balancing your checkbook is something you did in a former life…you know, that time back in the day when your brain functioned as it should.
\nWhen you are slogging through the midst of this madness called grief, it is easy to lose hope that things will ever get better. After all, how could they without your special person? I know, when I lost Mr. Virgo, my world came crashing in at my feet and I swore I would never feel anything but the crushing pain of loss. I was so tired, so depressed, so angry, so fearful. In the picture on the left, my eyes were puffy from crying all the time. I didn’t sleep. I didn’t eat right. I didn’t exercise. It was all I could do to breathe…and I didn’t even do that very well. Do you remember what it felt like to not be able to take in a deep breath? I sighed..a lot. That’s actually a physiological response to grief.
\nI was a Christian before I lost Mr. Virgo. One of the “hidden gems in the flames” of grief has been a closer relationship with God. That depth of love has brought me through the darkest days of my life. I cannot imagine how I could have possibly survived this without my faith. There were long nights where sleep simply would not come and anxiety would have me paralyzed and physically ill. I tried everything to make it stop. There were nights I thought about the gun in the cupboard. About how easy it would be to just end this suffering. But…I simply could not do that. After having suffered a near-fatal overdose during a severe depression seventeen years ago, and seeing the devastation that caused my family, I knew full well that would never be my way out. No, somehow I had to find a way to get through this.
\nI remember nights when I couldn’t pray. I couldn’t form words. All I could do was moan in pain. I would close my eyes and visualize Jesus. I would picture him sitting on a bench in a beautiful garden…his robes as white as snow, his dusty sandals strapped to his road-worn feet. I couldn’t speak before him. All I could do was moan…my pain escaping from my throat in guttural gasps. And when I would look at him, he showed me such compassion. He held his arms out to welcome me into his presence. I walked forward and collapsed at his feet and laid my head upon his knee and sobbed. And he would gently stroke my hair and console me. He loved me as a father…as a brother. He poured his mighty love and light over me and washed away the pain for that particular night with the sincere promise that I could come back any time for more. He is always there…my comforter, my rock. And now look…he poured SO much love and light into me, it flows outward. I finally fully understand the phrase, “My cup runneth over.”
\nIf I bring you anything with my words, let me bring you hope. Hope for brighter days. Hope for sleep-filled nights. Hope for healing. Hope for joy. I couldn’t have done this alone. I have my writing. I have you all. I have the love of friends and family. And I have Jesus. Jesus makes me shine. He most definitely makes me shine. Ok…Rodan & Fields skincare helps, too…but it’s mostly Jesus! ❤️
\n“In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.”\nRomans 8:26-27 NIV
\n\n
#RFGoNaked
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\n", "date_published": "2017-06-22T01:55:43-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/06/22/there-is-hope.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Gratitude","God","Wisdom","Aging"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/06/20/beyond-coincidence.html", "title": "Beyond Coincidence", "content_html": "
![\"Clouds\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/9a663747fa.jpg\")
\nI know I have been delving into matters of faith a lot the last few weeks. I know there is a delicate balance between what people are willing to listen to and that point where they shut down and say, “Yeah, ok. I’ve heard enough of this.” And they move on. I get it. I really try not to get preachy here because matters of faith are highly personal. And, since I am wont to do, I often share highly personal things here…much to the chagrin of some of my family and friends. Sometimes what I talk about might make you uncomfortable. That’s ok. Feeling uncomfortable once in a while is good. It makes us think. It helps us to question and make choices. The things I tell you about my experiences in my faith, I tell because there is someone out there who has questions but are afraid to ask. I tell you these things because I am amazed at how God works in my life, even as I have come to expect it. That being said, let me tell you what happened in my world yesterday.
\nFirst, I’ll go back a little. You know how I’ve been working on my social media platform. My agent wants to see my numbers go higher. I’ve been doing everything I can and asking for God to open doors for me. And steadily, the numbers trickle in. One new like. Three. None for weeks. Two. Slow and steady. I was feeling impatient. I could see where God was leading me, but I just wasn’t seeing the results I wanted. It was really frustrating. Then I went to Revival. And I learned to start every single prayer with “Thank you, Lord…for every provision.” I praise him and thank him for this and that…naming specific things. Then, and only then, do I enter into the action-word portion of my plea. This is what I think I need. How can I better serve you? What do you need of me? I knock on the door of God’s heart and ask him to bring me the words he wants me to say and the people who need to hear them. I ask him to Bless me, indeed. Expand my territory. Walk with his hand over me and keep evil far from me so that I may not feel pain. And I went to Revival. I was anointed. There was the laying of hands on me. Fervent prayers were made on my behalf. I received the gift of the Holy Spirit. I developed new friendships in faith. I entered into a faith-filled community and came out changed.
\nI told you yesterday that I went to the little white church on the hill to say farewell to the young Pastor Matt. I told you he had helped me access places deep within. The prayers over me in the last several weeks have been focused on my writing, my blog, my ministry. Fear was driven from me in some weird supernatural way that I still can’t quite understand. Then Sunday, Pastor Matt anointed us all one last time to help us get whatever we need, whatever we are searching for. He prayed on our behalf. His prayer Sunday was for a huge opportunity. As a matter of fact, I think he said something like, “Something big is coming, girl. Like, soon.” Soon. Ok, how about 27 hours? I received an email yesterday from the reporter who interviewed me for the New York Times a little over a year ago. Now, this woman has been on my mind for the last two or three weeks. I’d pick up my phone to send her a text to check in. You know, to put myself in the front of her mind in case she’s working on a story she can use me in. That New York Times article was a huge boost for my blog. But, just as soon as I would start to look up her e-mail address, Spirit would whisper. “Put it down. She knows. She remembers.” And I would put down the phone and go on. Yesterday, she sent me an e-mail saying she’s working on an article about widowhood and retirement for a large financial company for their online magazine and could she use me in this article. Yes, she remembered me. She reads my blog. I am honored because she is a very prolific, well known author. I am honored she wants to include me again. But I am most of all…blessed. Indeed. I’m getting another opportunity to expand my territory. And God most certainly walks with his hand over me and keeps evil far from me.
\nWhen I replied, I told her that she has been on my mind the last few weeks. I told her the timing couldn’t have been more perfect because I need to boost these social medial numbers. She wrote back and said this online magazine is read by 1,000,000+ readers over the age of 50. Wow. Just…wow. I had to tell you. I had to share with you. This is how God is working in my life. I come expecting great things. I see the provision come and it stuns me. Coincidence? Some of you may think so. Planetary alignment? My moon is in Aquarius? My chakras are aligned? You may think that. But I know. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt who orchestrated this. This is a God thing…plain and simple. Thank you, Jesus. ❤️
\n“Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?”\nMatthew 6:26 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-06-20T01:55:20-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/06/20/beyond-coincidence.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Positive Energy","Gratitude","God","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/06/15/in-transition.html", "title": "In Transition", "content_html": "
![\"Tussock](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/83932a865c.jpg\")
\nThe life I led before becoming a widow fell away from me on March 12, 2013. I was a beautiful caterpillar before that day…pretty, perfect, moving from meal to meal mindlessly. Oh, it didn’t seem mindless at the time. I was full of energy and purpose and life and love. But the day Mr. Virgo died, the “ME” I was left for good. I tried for a long time to get her back. In my naïveté, I thought it was somehow possible to get over all this and get back to the business of living my life as a caterpillar. After a while, I finally got it…that part of my life was over.
\nI went into my cocoon, that dark space where I worked on what was inside somehow trusting the outside would follow. And eventually, after lots of prayer and time and travel and mistakes, I finally emerged…changed, to be sure. But with wings! Wings that have carried me to new heights. To new places. To new life, new love, new friends, new peace.
\nAs I sat on the front porch yesterday, this little yellow caterpillar crawled up on an old pair of boots I have sitting on a table outside Grandma’s front window. I watched it explore this inanimate object in search of food. It’s a beautiful thing…soon to become a tussock moth. I contemplated all the varieties of caterpillars there are in the world. They are different for a reason. They are meant to become a moth or a butterfly…whether a short, stubby, nondescript gypsy moth or a magnificent luna moth, a tiny Karner Blue or a Monarch or a Swallowtail…they will all have wings and fulfill their destinies.
\nWidows are the butterflies of love and loss…we transform through a period of darkness, stillness encased in a hard shell, a chrysalis, a crucible of change. When our time comes and we are ready, we start to grow. Our comfortable shell, that place that helped protect us from the world, begins to feel too tight, too constricting. In the time before we break through to our new life, this one begins to feel quite painful. It is in that moment we think we can’t do this anymore. It’s just too much. We’ve endured so much pain, so much discomfort. Now, here we are going through it again. Unlike the caterpillar, we have a choice to make here. Stay in this dark place forever or emerge into the world of the unknown, fresh and new, yet forever changed.
\nWhat we have the hardest time seeing in that dark place is the beauty of the life beyond. If we can just drag ourselves out on the limb, hang on by tips of our fingers, and trust God to work on our hearts, life blood pumps into our wings and they begin to expand and dry. For a while we sit there, in disbelief. We flex our wings…our beautiful, multicolored wings…and in a glorious moment of magic, we fly!
\nThere is a certain ambivalence between sorrow and healing. What starts out as a line as thick and strong as a ship’s anchor chain, time and healing stretches that connection to our loved one out into a thinner and finer cord. Still strong, but lighter. If you cut that cord that ties you, are you unfaithful to the memory of your lost love? Have you turned your back on what that relationship meant to you? Are you betraying your life partner if you choose to step out into the sun? I don’t believe so. Spreading my wings and flying is exactly what my love would want, would expect, me to do. I’ll never forget my days as a caterpillar but I’m choosing to move forward, to live my life as a glorious butterfly. To really own that. I choose to fly. ❤️
\n“The LORD our God said to us at Horeb, “You have stayed long enough at this mountain.”\nDeuteronomy 1:6 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-06-15T01:55:13-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/06/15/in-transition.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Positive Energy","Gratitude","God","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/06/13/will-you-still-need-me.html", "title": "? Will You Still Need Me? ?", "content_html": "
![\"Laundry](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/51663b1e99.jpg\")
\nI have waited a long time for this birthday so I could sing that Beatles tune! I have always loved my birthday. That one day of the year where it was all about me. My Grandma celebrated my birthdays with a homemade cake every year. It was always the same…a yellow cake with penuche frosting. (http://www.food.com/recipe/grandmas-penuche-frosting-22376) If you’ve never had it…you must, you must! I could literally sit and eat it with a spoon, warm out of the pan. Divine! We didn’t have that gosh awful icing in a can when I was growing up. Frosting was a handmade confection from handwritten directions that was handed down from generation to generation. I still have Grandma’s “cookbook”…a stenographer’s notepad with her eighth-grade-education scrawl, written with a stubby, hand sharpened pencil, no doubt.
\nMr. Virgo made a big deal out of my birthdays because he knew what it meant to me. He would call the girls ahead of time to make sure they remembered and invite them to a restaurant. Like Christmas, he would shower me with gifts that he remembered me saying I liked. He was a generous man. The girls have done a good job remember me on my special day. It may not be on the actual day, but when I get to Colorado next month, we’ll have a gluten free cake. I want a yellow one with penuche frosting this year!
\nI received a beautiful gift last week…an early birthday present. A friend of mine said, “What you need out here is a good picnic table!” The next visit, I had one! What a kind gesture and a lovely gift! I am so blessed! Birthdays after loss can be sad affairs. I remember that feeling of loneliness and yearning I felt…especially the first couple of years after Mr. Virgo died. Now I make my own birthday celebrations and I make sure I include all those whom I love. I don’t wait for others to remember. People have busy lives. I’ve done that…waiting for others to remember me then being disappointed when they don’t. Not any more. I am quick to let everyone know it’s my special day because I want to celebrate with them! ? When I’m 64! ? ❤️
\n“Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.”\nPsalm 90:12 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-06-13T01:55:29-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/06/13/will-you-still-need-me.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Positive Energy","The Farm","Gratitude","Wisdom","Aging"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/06/11/what-lies-beneath.html", "title": "What Lies Beneath", "content_html": "
![\"Old](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/ee0c0a528d.jpg\")
\nI was awake bright and early yesterday. I love staying at my cousin’s house up on North Mountain. They have a pavilion overlooking a pond. We had a cookout Friday night and a lovely visit. I went to sleep to the sound of whip-poor-wills and awoke to the lowing of cattle at dawn. I left around 8:00 and headed to visit my uncle and two aunts. I took my uncle for a ride in my new truck and ran errands. We had a nice lunch and I picked some sour pie cherries before heading home.
\n![\"Sites](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/809006e647.jpg\")
\nThe drive back to the farm takes you through an area called Seneca Rocks. There are some really amazing rock formations. A climbing school teaches people to take advantage of the sheer, vertical rock walls. For the less adventurous, horseback rides are available that take you the long way around and very close to the top. You can hike the rest of the way up. I’ve done that before…it was amazing! There are two old timey stores and a restaurant. One of my favorite things is the old Sites Homestead…especially when they are holding a special event like yesterday’s quilt show. Women were sitting around quilting or preparing long rag strips to make rag rugs out of. I had a lovely conversation with the Heritage Gardener. I was going to quiz her to see if she knew what that awesome “hairy berry” plant was that I found this week and when I turned to her…there was a huge Wine Berry bush right there. Go figure!
\n![\"The](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/0daed8d5bf.jpg\")
\nAs my new friend showed me around the homestead, she gave me a tour of the historic quilts. Most of the quilters were identified as well as where they lived, when the quilt was made, and the name of the quilt pattern. She made a point to show me this one particular quilt. It was hung so that the sun could shine through it. She pointed out the quilt within the quilt…a Double Wedding Band covered by a Dresden Plate when the old quilt got too worn. When I saw that, it reminded me of the resiliency of the Spirit. When we are tattered and worn, broken seemingly beyond repair…the Spirit cleanses us and makes us new again when we ask. It’s so simple…so remarkable…such a miracle. I loved the frugal nature of the quilter…nothing was wasted.
\n![\"Sour](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/4451fbbc1d.jpg\")
\nI arrived home as the sun was setting. I sat in the backyard and listened to my own whip-poor-wills. The mama robin swooping in to feed her nestlings. The kitty rubbing my legs, welcoming me home. The deer foraging on the hillside. The possum ambling out from behind the barn hoping to get a bite or two of cat food. I sighed…a contented smile on my face. Another day in Paradise! ❤️
\n“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.”\n2 Corinthians 5:17 ESV
\n", "date_published": "2017-06-11T01:55:02-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/06/11/what-lies-beneath.html", "tags": ["Family","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","West Virginia","The Farm","Gratitude","God","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/06/07/getting-filled-up.html", "title": "Getting Filled Up", "content_html": "![\"Basket](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/61856c1efd.jpg\")
\nWhew! Revival…can you stand some more? The young evangelist who led the Revival at Grandma’s church a few weeks ago has four churches in his charge. At the ripe old age of 26 or so, this guy is a crackerjack, for sure. He’s leading a Revival in a church in a neighboring community this week. I was able to attend the last couple of nights and let me tell you, it was just as powerful (if not more so) as the first one I attended.
\nAs I sat listening to this young man preach and I looked over the attendees, I got this vision of a bunch of baskets. I’d go back to listening, then pretty soon I’d be thinking about baskets again. As I drove home, I slowly made my way through the twists and turns of country roads, watching for deer and any other critters. I no sooner pulled out on the two-lane blacktop when the baskets were back. So, I did what I always do when something incessantly niggles at my brain and I can’t get rid of it. I had a conversation with God.
\nMe: OK, Lord…what’s with the baskets?
\nGod: Wait a minute…is that any way to start out a conversation with me? What were you just telling the good folks at church? Something about “thanks”, I think it was.
\nMe: You’re absolutely right…Lord, thank you for never having your phone off the hook when I call you! Thank you for always being there and for the blessings you give me. I’m confused though. Why are you showing me baskets?
\nGod: Look at these baskets. They’re all different shapes, all different sizes. They have different patterns, different colors. They have one thing in common…they are woven. They can carry lots of things. Eggs, vegetables, flowers, stones. But, what if I were to ask you to carry water from my well in one of these baskets? Could you do that?
\nMe: Of course not…they are woven. There are holes in them. The water would run right through!
\nGod: That’s right…it would. You are like a basket. You are woven together in exactly the way I patterned you. All the people of the world are like baskets. They are as different as fingerprints. And, they all have holes in them. You are a thirsty people. When you take your basket to the well, you can’t carry the water you need to quench that thirst. It falls on the ground.
\nMe: Ok. I can see that. I still don’t understand what you’re getting at.
\nGod: I am the most important water…the Living Water. That is the only Water that flows from MY well. Would you have the Living Water spill out on the ground and be wasted?
\nMe: No! Of course not! But how can I keep that from happening if I’m a basket full of flaws and holes?
\nGod: Ahhhh…I’m glad you asked! It’s very simple, really. You have to line the basket with something waterproof. Something that will plug up the leaks so you can carry my Living Water within you.
\nMe: What would do that? What could I use?
\nGod: The recipe is simple. You start out with a good strong base of Obedience. Then you spread on a thick layer of Faith. Top that off with a whole bunch of Prayer and you’ll have a strong, waterproof lining that will carry my Living Water. Then you can drink to your heart’s content and quench that thirst you’ve been carrying around with you.
\nMe: What if my basket springs a leak?
\nGod: The enemy will try to poke holes in your basket at every turn. You must always be vigilant. I have given you power…super powers to be exact. Your words are mighty weapons. Speak life into your situation. Tell the enemy to stay away from you and leave your basket alone!
\nMe: As simple as that?
\nGod: As simple as that.
\nWe complicate life. We worry. We suffer anxiety at every turn. When we use our words to speak life into our lives, darkness has no choice but to flee. When we create a waterproof lining, we can carry anything…Water, light, precious gems of goodness. Watch how you think. Then watch how you speak. Speak love and light and life into your lives. You’ll march through the crises of your lives much quicker when you plug up the leaks. ❤️
\n““Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it."”\nMatthew 7:24-27 ESV
\n", "date_published": "2017-06-07T01:55:17-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/06/07/getting-filled-up.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Gratitude","God","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/06/05/in-my-own-voice.html", "title": "In My Own Voice", "content_html": "![\"Woman](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/aaf888cda8.jpg\")
\nFor those of you who are fairly new here, the whole thing started with this field. Twenty-two years ago, I brought the kids to West Virginia to introduce my future son-in-law to the family. Daughter #1 was about 19 and #2 was about 4. We went for a drive in the country, came around a bend, and here was this field filled with what looked all the world to be giant marshmallows. #1 told #2 that this was a Marshmallow Ranch. “This is where they grow the marshmallows really big then they cut them up in little pieces, put them in bags, and sell them at the stores.” she said.
\nYears later, I owned a little needlework shop called Needles & Pins. When I made items to sell in the shop, I created an art division of the company and called it Marshmallow Ranch because it was cute and catchy. Three months before Mr. Virgo died, I revived the name and began making handcrafted jewelry and art out of antique silverware and maps. I opened an Etsy shop and started this page. When I became a widow, I really wished I had a grief mentor to walk me through the painful journey ahead of me. Since I didn’t, I decided to BE that mentor for others and began blogging about what I was going through, with an honest and open heart…no matter how ugly it got. I already had around 400 followers at this point so I just kept the name and that started four years of daily blog posts. It’s been an interesting, painful, challenging journey. It has also been filled with hope, love, and joy…something I certainly couldn’t see starting out.
\nI didn’t really start speaking in my own voice until death whipped every ounce of pretense out of me. I had spent two decades as a Jewish doctor’s wife and never really felt “authentic” in that space. When you are raised in the home of an unpredictable alcoholic, you learn to tap dance for your supper. When you are born into a family with a child with a developmental disability, you learn to not give your mom any more trouble than what she is already facing. You learn to be the clown, to not rock the boat, to make everyone laugh. Above all else, I wanted to make my mom laugh. In so doing, I became a chameleon. I “changed colors” with my environment in order to fit in.
\nWhen I couldn’t keep all the balls in the air anymore, I dropped into a deep depression and spent seven years in what has come to be known in my family as “The Prozac Years.” I cannot be held entirely responsible for my behaviors from 1993 through 2000. Prozac altered my personality and I didn’t care about anything or anyone…a fact I’m still making up for. I was much more genuine the seven years I was with Mr. Virgo, but still, I hid parts of who I was…from him, from my family, from everyone. Grief has a way of stripping you bare. Your heart breaks open wide and shatters to the floor in a million shards. At some point you realize you have come to a crossroads. Stay where you are with your heart at your feet, or pick up the pieces and put yourself back together as best you can. What better time to drop all pretenses and become the genuine “you” you were born to be? I would stand in front of the mirror and ask God to show me who He wanted me to be…who He had MADE me to be. And bit by bit, piece by piece, I discovered my genuine voice. It’s much easier to just BE than it is to try to fit in.
\nThat’s the peace you see on my face when you send me such lovely messages about my pictures. That is the genuine, real me…relaxed in my own skin for perhaps the first time in my life. What you see is God’s love shining through me. I’m merely a conduit, passing on the Light I have been graced with. My cup is full to overflowing. ❤️
\n“Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.”\n1 Peter 3:3-4 ESV
\n", "date_published": "2017-06-05T01:55:48-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/06/05/in-my-own-voice.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","West Virginia","The Farm","Gratitude","God","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/05/23/hallelujah-anyway.html", "title": "Hallelujah Anyway!", "content_html": "h![\"Penny](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/75d04f457a.jpg\")
Anne Lamott wrote a poignant book about blessing whatever comes into your life…good, bad, indifferent. Because it has all come for a purpose, even if that purpose is merely to thank God it isn’t worse. Being grateful in spite of the messiness of life is truly a gift you can give yourself…and others. When you shout “Hallelujah Anyway”, you demonstrate gratitude, forbearance, and joy to those who may look to you for guidance. I love that! I’m going to remember to say “Hallelujah Anyway” when things don’t always go smoothly. I certainly didn’t need to shout it yesterday because I could not have possibly experienced a more beautiful day than I did my first day in Daytona Beach!
\nI had a lovely sleep-in then fixed my coffee and sat outside watching the waves not 100 steps away. As I counted my blessings, I added a huge thank you to the friend who made this trip happen and the friend that loaned this stunning condo. I changed and went to the beach for a couple of hours. Even though the temperature was up in the eighties, the breeze coming in off the ocean was divine. I went for a long walk down the beach and back. As I was walking under the pier, I was thinking about Ms. Lamott’s book and all the times I’ve been challenged in the last four years and I still managed to say “Hallelujah Anyway!” Just then, I looked down and this penny was right in front of me. Delight surged through me as I picked it up. Well, Hallelujah Anyway!
\nI came in to clean up and head out for lunch. I ate in a seafood place called Down Under and I’m afraid I was “underwhelmed”. The first couple of hush puppies were wonderful, but the refill was doughy. The cole slaw was marginal. The fries were good, but who needs fries, right? The crab cakes were terribly disappointing. Doughy, undercooked, beige disks that were truly sad. But, lesson learned. Don’t eat at a place under a bridge, right? Oy!
\nAfter lunch, I headed to Target to pick up a few groceries. I love Target…much better than Walmart. Clean, well stocked, friendly staff, and a Starbucks…what’s not to love? Afterward, I stopped at the Daytona Speedway and poked around. That place is HUGE. There were the remnants of an RV show in the parking lot so that was fun.
\nOnce the groceries were put away back at the condo, I curled up for a nap to catch up from the long drive. When I got up, I fixed a tray of carrots with French Onion dip, grapes, raspberries, hummus with pretzel chips, hard boiled eggs and dealcoholized Merlot and carried it out to the deck. Just as I finished, the sky opened up and I was presented with a lovely chorus of lightning and thunder! Oh my….this was just the perfect ending to a perfect day. As I write this, I’m curled up in bed in the master suite with the door flung wide, catching the cool sea breeze and listening to the rush of water…both from the rain and the ocean. The sound of tires on wet pavement marks the adventurous souls out in spite of the weather. I can just hear them as they creep along, the rain making it difficult to see the road, their vacation plans only slightly ruffled by a late spring thunderstorm as they mutter, “Hallelujah Anyway! Look where I am!!!” ❤️
\n“Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.”\n1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 NLT
\n", "date_published": "2017-05-23T01:55:30-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/05/23/hallelujah-anyway.html", "tags": ["Travel","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Positive Energy","The Grand Adventure","God","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/05/20/ick-a-tick.html", "title": "Ick! A Tick!", "content_html": "![\"Tick\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/391e5005ca.jpg\")
\nThey say ticks are going to be really bad this year. A mild winter allowed more hosts to survive thus giving the tick population a head start. I’m out in the woods a lot so I try to be particularly careful. I have extended family members who have suffered from Lyme Disease for years after being told “It can’t be Lyme Disease…we don’t have that in Colorado.” Excuse me…they are cattle ranchers. They get cattle from all over the country. Are you telling me the ticks carrying Lyme Disease all jump ship when they see the “Welcome to Colorful Colorado” sign on the interstate? Not likely. It’s fairly widespread. And, sometimes it is of a variety that is not caught in the usual tests. Educate yourselves to the signs and symptoms of tick-borne illnesses and check yourself carefully when you come in from traipsing around in the woods and underbrush. That is one of the frustrating things about widowhood…no partner to help you check things out that need an extra set of eyes.
\nI found this bad boy on my living room curtain. This is the first one I have seen this year and it was in…my…house. Go figure. I remember as a kid we’d pull them off the dog at my Aunt Marge’s house. They would light a match, blow it out and place the hot end on the fat body of the tick and it would back out in a hurry. You never want to pull them out. The head is imbedded under the skin and it can stay there and get infected. Another way to get them to release is to coat them in a blob of petroleum jelly. They can’t breathe and back out, but it takes longer. I don’t know about you, but if I have one of these little suckers on me, I don’t think I can hang around too long waiting for it to release itself.
\nMosquitoes are out, too. They can also carry diseases. There are sprays of course, but I prefer a deterrent without pesticides. I bought a big citronella candle the other day and that helps. I have found, though…like sunscreen…it doesn’t work if you don’t use it!
\nI’m amazed I haven’t run across any snakes since I’ve lived here. A guy driving up the road killed a copperhead out front last fall, but I’ve never seen anything else. Of course, I don’t go rummaging around in the brush pile and the creek either. So, maybe that’s why I haven’t seen any. I’d just as soon not. I’m not really afraid of snakes, per se. I’ve never ever seen a poisonous snake (alive) out on the farm, but I know they’re there and I’d just as soon not make their acquaintance.
\nBe safe out there, dear ones. There’s lots of fun to be had but exercising a bit of caution is a good thing. ❤️
\n“He spoke, and there came swarms of flies, and gnats throughout their country.”\nPsalms 105:31 ESV
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-05-20T01:55:25-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/05/20/ick-a-tick.html", "tags": ["West Virginia","The Farm","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/05/17/my-resting-place.html", "title": "My Resting Place", "content_html": "
![\"Peony\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/5a9dd718c6.jpg\")
\nLast week there were two mornings where the temperature hovered just a tad above freezing. I was so happy that my flowers and the cherry trees didn’t get nipped by Old Jack Frost. And just like that, the temps soared up to the 80’s yesterday. When it gets like that, it’s too hot to sit on the front porch after the sun crosses the house and starts its decent over the far ridge. It doesn’t go behind that ridge till just before 7:00, but after that…the porch is my domain again.
\nI struggled a little yesterday. Loss encroached into the periphery of my life over the weekend and even though it didn’t affect my inner circle, sometimes other people’s loss stirs my own feelings. I so seldom have a bad day anymore. Really. I can certainly tell when I wake up, which way the winds will blow, and yesterday was a little stormy. Not bad. Not nearly like I’ve had in the past. My grief has always gone out through the pit of my stomach and I have learned to just let it pass. I’ve learned to listen to my body and give myself permission to have a mattress-surfing day. I had my “Emergency Down-Day Kit” at the ready. I rode the wave back into shore and as the house cooled, so did I.
\nRiding that wave and finding my resting place reminded me of those long, dark early nights of grief when I would have what I referred to as…bad nights. There were nights when the only way I made it through was to visualize sitting at the feet of Jesus, resting my head on his knee, and letting him stroke my hair the way my mother did when I was a child. I knew that I was God’s child, and that my resting place was in that place in my heart where Christ lives. There was a woman who came to sing at the Revival last week. She sang a song she wrote about finding her resting place in Jesus. It is comforting to me when I learn I am not alone in this journey…that there are others who have struggled, who struggle still, and that I’m really ok.
\nMy grief is different now. It’s fleeting. It’s temperate. It’s diffuse. It’s not even filled with Mr. Virgo like it was. It’s more like a cloud of sadness that settles for a little bit then lifts and moves on. If I let myself delve too deep, I could stir up too many things and I’ve learned that doesn’t serve me well. I’ve also learned it doesn’t hurt me to indulge myself in this bit of reverie. It’s a giant emotional yardstick that illustrates how far I’ve come since March 12, 2013. It will always be there. I don’t know what stirred it this time…probably the loss I’ve seen in others lately. Today is a new day…I have tools…I have hope…I have love…I have God. What more could I need? ❤️
\n““Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.””\nMatthew 11:28-30 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2017-05-17T01:55:55-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/05/17/my-resting-place.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","West Virginia","The Farm","God","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/05/15/the-well-worn-bible.html", "title": "The Well Worn Bible", "content_html": "![\"Hand](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/a780a089e2.jpg\")
\nLast night was the eighth and final, night of the Revival at the little white church on the hill. I missed two nights but was happy I got to attend last night.
\nPastor Matt sent us out with renewed faith and refreshed spirits. We often reach places in our faith where we sleepwalk and just go through the motions. The purpose of Revival is to wake us up, to learn, and to get a fire in our bellies. Mission accomplished. So many little churches are withering up because the elders are dying off and the young people aren’t attracted by the dryness that is so often the hallmark of the services.
\nWhen you get fired up and you step into the Light…that darkness will do whatever it takes to bring you down. I’ve seen it happen in my own life too many times to doubt the validity. True to form..in the span of five hours I was slapped hard in three different directions. I won’t go into details because they aren’t my stories to tell, but there was evil and darkness attached to two of them, as plain as day. The third was a friend suffering an injury in an accident. I don’t back down. I won’t be scared back into the shadows. I stand strong.
\nI am comforted by the picture above. A woman who attended the Revival was walking out last night when I caught a glimpse of her well worn Bible. I called her back and snapped this picture. This is the book that brings this woman the most comfort. This book is written with living words. You can read a verse a hundred times and it takes on a different meaning each time. I’ve learned a lot this week. I’ve opened up a lot, felt a lot, laughed a lot, cried a lot. I’ve been healed and set free of bonds that wore me down. I shared my story with others. I woke up. May I never go to sleep again. ❤️
\n“You are of God, little children, and have overcome them, because He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.”\nI John 4:4 NKJV
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-05-15T01:55:58-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/05/15/the-well-worn-bible.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","God","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/05/14/the-fruit-of-the-vine.html", "title": "The Fruit of the Vine", "content_html": "
![\"Grapes](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/e81d056149.jpg\")
\nI went to my home church last night. You all are going to think that’s all I do. It isn’t…but this was Revival week so every night but Friday night has been spent in church so that’s what you get with your morning coffee. My home church is wonderful. It meets in a warehouse. It started out just two short years ago with 127 people. Now we regularly serve over 1300 people in three services every weekend. 1259 Salvations. 226 Baptisms. 2556 VIP’s (new attendees who fill out a visitor card). They have a great Praise Team and the pastors are a husband and wife team who do a wonderful job. Because the Sunday services are standing room only, the pastor asked for volunteers to come to the Saturday night services to give the new people a chance to come in and find a seat. Isn’t that a wonderful “problem” to have? We are in the process of buying a huge warehouse so we can have a seating capacity of 1300 per service. I love it!
\nLast night, in honor of Mother’s Day, the pastor’s wife gave the sermon. She delivered a great message and talked about the Fruit of the Spirit…love, joy, peace, forbearance (patience), kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. When we receive the Holy Spirit, we need to nurture these fruit as the attributes of a Christian. We all can use practice in these areas. I’m willing to bet, forbearance and self-control will be the highest on most people’s list. We are a self-indulgent people and patience is a virtue that is not easily attained in today’s world. With any fruit-bearing vine, good care is needed to produce the best fruit. A barren vine needs to be pruned in order for the plant to produce it’s best. Sometimes we have to lop off those unproductive parts of ourselves…those things in our lives that do not serve us and actually do harm. Pruning these things away is difficult and oftentimes downright painful. But, we will be the better for it.
\nTonight I go back for the last night of Revival. Can’t wait to give you the report tomorrow! Happy Mother’s Day…and on behalf of your moms, give us a call today. If she’s gone…my heart is with you. It’s so hard to lose your mother. You’ll never regret being good to your mom! ❤️
\n“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control…”\nGalatians 5:22-23 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2017-05-14T01:55:40-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/05/14/the-fruit-of-the-vine.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Prayer","Positive Energy","God","Holiday","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/05/13/caught-in-a-trap.html", "title": "Caught in a Trap", "content_html": "![\"Wasp](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/462fda2e01.jpg\")
\nThis has turned out to be a really intense and power-filled week for me. I have been attending an old-time Gospel, Spirit-filled Revival this week at the little white church on the hill and I’m telling you what…it’s been both exhilarating and exhausting. I don’t even feel like myself. I’m sure you’ve noticed my fired-up posts this week. I don’t usually go all preachy like that, but I’ve been just feeling so inspired all week and I’ve learned to listen. With that in mind, today’s post is toned down a bit but still faith-based, as all my essays are. I noticed my numbers dropped off a little after yesterday’s post. I know…not everyone wants to have religion with their coffee. I get that. There will be plenty of travel stories and farm stories and memories to share down the road. This is Revival week, and since I write about what I’m experiencing every day, this is what you get this week.
\nI went out for my morning walkabout yesterday. Out of nowhere, Boy Cat made a beeline for me and started rubbing all over my legs. He has never, ever done that (see the video from yesterday) and he tagged along with me for most of my walk. I took a bunch of pictures of all the wildflowers that are currently blooming. I walked down the road to visit a neighbor. As I was strolling along, I noticed this wasp trap hanging in a tree. If you look inside the trap, there…hanging at the top…is a wasp on a nest. Inside the trap. It reminded me of something young Pastor Matt preached about this week. God v. Satan, Light v. Dark, Good v. Evil…whatever you call it, light banishes darkness, not the other way around. I know in my journey, I ran as far away from a relationship with Jesus as I possibly could. For some reason, God was ok…but Jesus scared me. Probably because of that hellfire and brimstone preacher of my youth. I mean, I felt Jesus knocking at the door of my heart…politely waiting to be invited in. But, I would get so anxious and worked up about it, I could only go in the other direction to avoid the whole thing. Little did I know at the time, surrender would have been the ticket to freedom from all that.
\nAs my journey took me further and further away from God, I became more and more blind, more and more deceived by the darkness. Once I got so far out to sea and turned around to look for my saving Grace, I realized how far from shore I really was. I was in a trap of my own making…believing the lies, living my life, building my nest there…much like this unsuspecting wasp is. Living in that trap wasn’t all that bad on the surface. I had a nice house. I had a new car every couple of years. I had an essentially unmonitored bank account. On the surface, I had everything. But on the inside, I was a barren wasteland. I was living in the Sahara Desert with no water…no food…no spiritual sustenance. The Darkness can lure you in with comforts then it closes the door and locks it and you can never get out. I am blessed to have found my way back before It was too late.
\nThe path I’m walking hasn’t been one I’d necessarily have chosen for myself. I never wanted to be a widow. I gave up a lot to get to where I am. Aside from Mr. Virgo’s death, I wouldn’t change a thing because I’m in a good space right now. I’m not living in a trap anymore. I have shed the chains that bound me. And I’m living free…standing on the promises of God.
\nI missed Revival last night and will again tonight because of a prior commitment. I’ll go back Sunday night for the grand finale, though. I’m going to my church with a friend tonight to avoid the Sunday crowds and then out for dinner to celebrate Mother’s Day early. It’s still cool and cloudy and raining here. May is like that. I hope you have a grand start to your weekend, dear ones! ❤️
\n“The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth.”\nPsalm 145:18 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2017-05-13T01:55:58-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/05/13/caught-in-a-trap.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Hope","Positive Energy","West Virginia","The Farm","God","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/05/05/at-last.html", "title": "At Last...", "content_html": "![\"Rhododendron](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/325870958f.jpg\")
\nI was sitting out on the front porch yesterday…drinking coffee, solving the crossword, checking in with friends, listening to the Norah Jones channel on Pandora, watching the spring showers blow through in waves. It’s been a crazy week with trips to town for one thing and another every day since I got back from my last trip. Yeah, I know…it’s rough. But, I was really relishing a few hours of peace and quiet before a friend arrived in the afternoon for a visit. It felt good to just BE for a little bit. Those moments always turn something on in my heart…like fine-tuning the dial on a radio to get the station perfectly clear.
\nI was lost in reverie when Etta James came on with her sultry, smooth voice…“At Last”. Oh…there was a time when the mere thought of that song made me burst into tears. That was the song Mr. Virgo and I danced to at our wedding. The one…and only…time he ever danced with me. I can still remember the way my hand rested in his, the sparkle in his eyes, the early spring sunshine slanting through the panes of glass in the sun room of the restaurant where we were married. I remember the way the smooth, black and white tiles felt beneath my feet as he gently guided me in a four foot square…not standing still but not really dancing either. Just moving and sharing a special moment.
\nI was so excited to marry that man. My second divorce had left me yearning for a loving connection, as if changing my name would be another chapter further into the story of my life…further away from the pain and heartbreak that had come before. Our relationship was sweet and trusting, a mutual love and respect that soothed my broken heart and made me whole again. Three weeks shy of six years later, my heart shattered again when he died right in front of me.
\nYes, there was a time when this memory would have caught me off guard and I would have been reduced to a puddle of messiness and pain. And, I’m sure there will be a time in the future when it triggers something that will open that wound again. Not yesterday. Yesterday, I smiled and remembered the way his suit coat felt when I laid my hand on his chest as we danced, his strength and confidence a source of comfort to me. I could almost smell his Halston cologne. I wish I could remember what we said to each other in that moment but it is lost to me. I wish he had liked to dance. I love being held in a tall man’s arms.
\nI was brought back…to the porch, to myself, to this beautiful life I am living…by the stunning sweep of a Pileated Woodpecker landing on the dead tree stump in the front yard where I have the rain gauge. At last…I have come home to myself and I’m anchored in this moment without drifting back into the stormy abyss of grief like a sailor being washed from the deck in a restless sea. At last. ❤️
\n“You made me suffer a lot, but you will bring me back from this deep pit and give me new life. You will make me truly great and take my sorrow away.”\nPsalms 71:20-21 CEVUS06
\n", "date_published": "2017-05-05T01:55:41-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/05/05/at-last.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","The Farm","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/05/04/gone-from-my-sight.html", "title": "Gone From My Sight", "content_html": "![\"Ship](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/9b9fc8cce1.jpg\")
\nThey were Lucy and Ethel. Lucy, the clown, was the preschool teacher…much beloved by students, parents, and staff. Ethel, the straight woman, was the para in her classroom. They were a great team for twenty years and remained friends in the years since. Mutt and Jeff…peas and carrots…peanut butter and jelly.
\nWhen Ethel’s beloved husband died, it was Lucy who rallied the troops and gathered a whole box of joyful gifts and sent it to her. There were fuzzy pens and silly hats, coloring books and crayons…all manner of trinkets that spelled out “I love you”…wrapped in brightly colored tissue paper. Ethel’s mood was visibly lifted by these precious gifts as well as the explosion of color all round her on the kitchen floor. This was the nature of their love for each other.
\nThen Lucy got sick. She had an aggressive breast cancer and in spite of three courses of chemo, radiation that burned her severely, and a double mastectomy, it finally got to the point where all the poisons Lucy endured shut down her organs one at a time. When she finally got the word there was nothing left to do, she ordered up mimosas and gathered her best friends in her room for a songfest. Lucy didn’t give up easy. She fought to stay here…for her life, for her friends, but most of all, for her 17-year-old daughter. But, once they transferred her to a beautiful hospice room with a view of a dozen birdfeeders and family photos all around, it was literally only a couple of days before Lucy left her family and friends behind and went on her next Grand Adventure.
\nEthel was bereft. She was just gaining a little footing after losing her husband four years ago and now she had to lose the other half of her…her Lucy. She spoke at the Celebration of Life and shared a poem at the end. It is a beautiful image of crossing over to the other side and I asked her permission to share it with you today.
\nI was sitting in my car when her text came in. I haven’t intruded this week. She needed her space to begin processing her grief and collect her thoughts before she reached out. She knew where to find me. I had just finished purchasing and shipping two huge tins of potato chips to MY Lucy. Friends since we were kids, my Lucy was everything I wanted to be…petite, blonde, tan, sassy. She could play the piano and sing. She’s having a health issue so I sent her some love from home in the form of the best, the ONLY, potato chip produced in West Virginia…Mr. Bee’s. I was waxing sentimental when my friend sent me this poem. It reduced me to tears right there in the parking lot. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.
\n\nGone From My Sight\n\nI am standing upon the seashore. A ship, at my side, spreads her white sails to the moving breeze and starts for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength. I stand and watch her until, at length, she hangs like a speck of white cloud just where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other.\n\nThen, someone at my side says, "There, she is gone."\n\nGone where?\n\nGone from my sight. That is all. She is just as large in mast, hull and spar as she was when she left my side. And, she is just as able to bear her load of living freight to her destined port. Her diminished size is in me -- not in her.\n\nAnd, just at the moment when someone says, "There, she is gone," there are other eyes on the far shore, watching her coming, and other voices ready to take up the glad shout, "Here she comes!"\n\n~Henry Van Dyke ❤️\n\n“and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.”\n2 Peter 1:11 NIV\n\nPhoto Source: Pinterest\n![\"Woman](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/fa9004ccc6.jpg\")
\nLife is about choices. Every day we are faced with the choice to rise up and grab life by the tail and wring every ounce of, what…joy, love, happiness, laughter, beauty, energy, excitement, sweetness? All that and more await us every day. Even if you struggle with depression, anxiety, grief, sadness, fear, loss….there is room for choices in your life.
\nTwo weeks after Mr. Virgo died, I had a choice to make. I could die, metaphorically. Or I could live…really live. With joy and abundance. It was not easy. Especially early on. But I made every day count. I looked for joyful things to put in front of me to make life bearable. I surprised myself with joy. And, the more times I chose joy, the lighter my load became. It wasn’t overnight by any stretch of the imagination. But bit by bit, every positive choice helped bring me up from the abyss into the light.
\nTravel has been one of the joys that has helped me the most in my grief. Whether alone or with a friend or group of friends, seeing new places, challenging myself in different situations, and finding new parts of myself has been an amazing journey of growth and self-discovery. This trip has been no exception. I am very grateful I got to tag along with a friend in a gifted week at a timeshare. It was a lot of fun as well as relaxing.
\nChoices. Choose life. Choose joy. Choose laughter. Choose gratitude. I know. It’s not easy. Even in my darkest days of grief, I could surprise myself with joy…if even for just a moment. Moments build and time changes things. Whoever said time heals all wounds lied. It doesn’t. But you can build strong scars that show how hard you loved..how hard you fought. Just keep making positive choices. ❤️
\n“You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.”\nPsalm 16:11 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-04-29T01:55:01-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/04/29/life-is-a-beautiful-thing.html", "tags": ["Travel","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","The Grand Adventure","God","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/04/28/life-in-the-margins.html", "title": "Life in the Margins", "content_html": "
![\"Four](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/8b46806a4d.jpg\")
\nThis picture was taken the year before I was born. Four of my cousins gathered for their “stair step” photo in front of my aunt’s house, documenting their growth from year to year. I chose this picture as an example of the photos of our youth. The pictures had margins. Within the margin was the date the photo was developed. Grandma could write names and places in the margin so we could remember who was there and where we were. A lot of information was held in that margin. It was a breathing space between then and now.
\nSomewhere along the line, we lost the margin in our photos. The image was pushed to the edge and there was no room to identify, date, document what was happening. It was just gone. We lost something when we lost the margins. We lost space and time. Not only in our photos, but in our lives. While modern conveniences may have added hours to our days…how much life was actually added? What did we fill our margins with? TV? Food? Busyness?
\nI don’t know about you, but I’m looking for more margins these days. As I sat on the beach yesterday, watching surfers, fishermen, shell hunters, and sunbathers I thought about all the times I could have put more margins in my life. More space and time for others. More space and time for me. I contemplate what I had to give up to get to be here…toes in the sand, sun on my face, the sound of the surf pounding on the shore. I gave up a bunch of stuff that I didn’t care about anymore. I gave up buying designer clothes and umpteen pairs of shoes I didn’t need. I gave up house payments and big utility bills. I gave up expensive meals out. I sacrificed some time with my family that I try so hard to make up for when I go back for visits.
\nI gained space. Peace. Freedom. Time. Love. Joy. Kindness. A relationship with God. A home church. I gained stillness…a margin of space within which I can think my thoughts and write them down. I’ve regained the margin around the picture of my life and that is worth much more to me than furniture and an address or a fancy car. I’ll take my margin any day of the week. ❤️
\n“Truly my soul finds rest in God; my salvation comes from him. Truly he is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.”\nPsalm 62:1-2 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2017-04-28T01:55:28-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/04/28/life-in-the-margins.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Positive Energy","God","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/04/24/hindsight-is.html", "title": "Hindsight is 20/20", "content_html": "![\"Home\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/fb27a2c16d.jpg\")
\nI received a private message yesterday from a reader asking what tow vehicle I use and what model of camper I tow. She has followed my blog for quite some time and is thinking of downsizing and taking off in a camper. While that is exactly what I did, hindsight is 20/20 and there are things I would have done differently had I known then what I know now. No huge regrets, but some remorse.
\nFirst, if I would have known I was not going to actually be living in my camper for the rest of my life, I don’t think I would have bought such a big travel trailer. Mine is 29.5’ long, so with my truck, I’m at 40’. Not an insignificant length when running around in traffic. Plus, I really miss the original 16’ TOW-Wanda. I was far more inclined to pack up and go somewhere with the little camper than I am with the big one. It’s a much bigger ordeal towing this behemoth. That being said, I have two months booked in state parks in Florida in February and March next year so the extra room will feel welcome on a long term trip.
\nNow, my tow vehicle. My old truck had a 373 rear axle ratio which provided a lot of torque when towing. Torque equals power and ease in towing and it’s better for the transmission. I let the guy at the Ford dealer convince me the 331 that I bought would be fine. It’s on the lower end of adequate and I wish I would have held out for a 352 rear axle ratio at the least. But, I wouldn’t trade a Ford F-150 for anything. I love that make and model and it’s so comfortable. I got up to 19.4mpg coming down here and I consider that great for a truck of this size.
\nStuff. I do NOT miss my stuff. I kept what was truly important to me, and even that is too much. I got rid of 95% of my personal belongings and I can guarantee you I never would have gotten rid of a thing had I stayed where I was. I would have just continued to accumulate more and more till I was buried in it. I’m so much lighter and freer now. I am so blessed to have the opportunity to live on the family farm right now but I have to remain ever watchful that I don’t continue to accumulate stuff. I don’t ever want to be in the position again where my stuff becomes overwhelming and unmanageable.
\nMy house. Ahhhh….here’s where I have remorse. If I could have done anything differently, it would probably be renting my house out instead of selling it. While it DID have a mortgage that wouldn’t be paid off till I was 90, the mortgage payment was right around $800 a month and I could have easily rented it for twice that much. That being said, if I hadn’t have sold the house, I couldn’t have gotten the bigger camper. Without the bigger camper, I wouldn’t have moved home to West Virginia. And if I hadn’t have moved home, I wouldn’t have reconnected with my amazing circle of friends and family that I enjoy so much. I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to spend two winters on the banks of the Ohio River. I wouldn’t have gone to so many wonderful concerts, kayaked, biked, and really discovered a West Virginia I didn’t know. THe trade off has been large stretches away from my daughters and grandchildren which is difficult but I try to make up for it when I go to Colorado to visit.
\nAll things considered, while hindsight is 20/20, I am still quite satisfied with this life I’ve chosen to live. It has turned out differently than I imagined it three years ago, but it’s a beautiful life, nonetheless. My advice to you, if you are considering doing what I did and chucking it all for a life on the road, is this…carefully consider all your options. Really work on a two-, five-, and ten-year plan. If you can swing it at all without losing your biggest asset, then keep the house and rent it out for supplemental income. If not, always have a viable Plan B (and C, D, and E) in place. We cannot take our health, the state of the world, and our own personal economy for granted. That being said, if you can work out all the details, absolutely go for it!!! I’ve actually LIVED more in the last three years than I have my entire life! ❤️
\n“Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”\nPhilippians 3:13-14 NIV
\n\n", "date_published": "2017-04-24T01:55:38-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/04/24/hindsight-is.html", "tags": ["Colorado","Overcoming Obstacles","TOW-Wanda!","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/04/16/saying-goodbye-to-sunshine.html", "title": "Saying Goodbye to Sunshine", "content_html": "
![\"Sunrise\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/981e5e2760.jpg\")
\nMy friend Jamie is doing some really hard stuff this weekend. Her dear friend Angie is dying. Actively dying. Cancer is such a brutal disease. It robs everyone of time, health, dignity. There is nothing good about cancer. Yet, in this midst of dying, there can be moments of grace. Angie has a young daughter she won’t see graduate or marry or have babies. In some of her last lucid moments, she was able to dictate three letters to be given to her daughter on just those occasions. What a gift that will be for this young woman to have her mom reach out to her from beyond, just when she needs her most.
\nI think we all wish we had hidden letters from our moms. Letters that tell us how loved we are…how proud we made her…how she wishes she could be there but she’s watching from above. I can’t imagine losing my mom at seventeen. I know Angie’s friends will step up and be there for the important events. They’ll be sounding boards and support systems and surrogates. It’s going to be a rough go for everyone.
\nThe only time I ever sat at someone’s bedside while they were dying was in support of a friend. Her grandmother was unresponsive in the nursing home. Being Jewish, my ex-husband and I were called to the bedside to recite the sh’ma (also called the shema)…the prayer sung over and over for the dying. We stayed till nearly dawn when we needed to get back home for the baby. An hour or so later, our friend called. When we saw the caller ID, we expected to hear her grandmother had died. Instead, we were greeted with laughter when we answered. It seems our friend was calling relatives to report the current status when the phone slipped off the night stand and fell crashing to the floor. Grandma sat bolt upright in bed and yelled, “$&@?@ €#£|$@….what does a person have to do around here to get a decent night’s sleep???” The dying often rally before the end. Angie did…after a night of everyone sitting around her bed, singing songs and praying…she woke up Friday morning singing “I’m Too Sexy For My Shirt”…much to everyone’s delight. At this writing, she is unresponsive again and it is just a matter of time. She…the owner of the megawatt smile. She…the fellow Gemini who met me once and became my lifelong friend. She…who will leave a giant hole in the hearts of all who knew her. Angie…who would love that I told you a funny story rather than cry about her dying. We honor those who touch our hearts.
\nSee you on the other side, Sunshine. ❤️
\n“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.”\n2 Corinthians 1:3-4 ESV
\n", "date_published": "2017-04-16T01:55:55-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/04/16/saying-goodbye-to-sunshine.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Strong Women","Hope","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/04/09/spring-tonic.html", "title": "Spring Tonic", "content_html": "![\"Girl](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/f7fd16611d.jpg\")
\nWhen I was a very young child, both of my grandmothers decided I was far too pale. There must be something wrong with me. So, they set to work with their home remedies to fix what ailed me.
\nMy paternal grandmother decided I had worms. She went to the spice cabinet and pulled out the powdered sage, dumped a heaping tablespoon into a teacup and stirred in boiling water. No sugar. No honey. No cream. Just sage, sage, sage. Sage tea. It was “good fer what ails ye”. I have no words to describe how horrible it was. And, I had to sit there till I drank the whole thing. Which I did. It isn’t polite to discuss the gastric ramifications of said elixir in mixed company. Suffice it to say, the physical response was proof to my grandmother that she was correct and now I would be fine. I don’t know about worms, but I can assure you I hate sage dressing, sage sausage…anything that’s been sitting in the same cabinet as sage. Horrid stuff.
\nMy maternal grandmother had an entirely different bit of magic in her arsenal. On the first good, warm spring day, grandma would take me hiking up into the woods behind the house. She would browse along, looking at young saplings, and before long, she’d reach down and yank one up, roots and all. Instantly the air was filled with a tangy sweetness that reminded me of root beer. She pulled two or three of these and we headed back to the house. After washing away the dirt, grandma took her trusty potato peeler and stripped away thin slices of the bark from the roots. She told me this was sassafras and it would clean my blood after the stagnant air of the winter.
\nGrandma placed several of the slips of bark into an old coffee cup, put some sugar on top, and poured piping hot water fresh from the rainwater cistern over it and stirred the concoction. After steeping a bit, she fished out the roots and poured in a little cream to soften and cool the tea. It was deep pink and gave off the most delightful aroma. I happily sat on the kitchen stool, “whoooo-ing” off the heat, and sipping this nectar of the gods. I was in heaven!
\nNeedless to say, sassafras tea wins in the “good for what ails ya” category. Yes, if you Google it, there is scientific evidence if you take one of the components in sassafras and make a concentration a gazillion times stronger than you could ingest in a lifetime and inject into the abdomens of lab rats, they can get cancer. One cup in the springtime has never caused me ill effect and it’s a rite of spring for me so I’ll take my chances. There may be no proven benefits of sassafras tea, other than it can take me back to my grandma’s kitchen in one sip, no matter where I may be in the world. Sipping it here on the farm was a real treat yesterday as I sat in the sunshine and worked the crossword.
\nAnd, hey…it tasted even better in my Girl Camper mug (although, in this picture, it looks all the world like “God Camper” which I suppose is even more accurate!) that I got from the Girl Camper herself…Janine Pettit!!!
\nSpring…a time for renewal and growth, indeed. ❤️
\n“Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.”\nPsalms 51:10 ESV
\n", "date_published": "2017-04-09T01:55:22-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/04/09/spring-tonic.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Positive Energy","West Virginia","The Farm","Wisdom","Girl Camper"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2017/04/08/the-art-of-aging.html", "title": "The Art of Aging", "content_html": "![\"Old](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/125f19e29a.jpg\")
\nTo quote Anne Lamott… “Age has given me what I’ve been looking for all my life - it gave me me.” In a few short weeks I’ll be 64. Sixty-four trips around the sun. Sixty-four birthday cakes. Sixty-four years of blood, sweat, and tears. Three weddings…four if you count the renewal of vows in the second marriage. It didn’t help…it still fell apart. Two beautiful children. Two grandchildren. Births. Deaths. New loves. New heartbreaks. More new loves. I don’t know…eight or ten “careers”? I’m a Gemini…sue me!
\nI’ve come to believe that aging is an art form. Look at this beautiful woman. There is mirth, secrets, love, resignation, wisdom in every crease of her face. Her eyes are windows to her soul. She is not perfect. But she is real. She embodies the crone. The dictionary defines crone as a “withered, witch-like old woman”. There is a movement now of honoring women over a certain age as fountains of wisdom, information, and grace. Finally, we are beginning to relish living in our own skin with our wrinkles, silver hair, age spots, cellulite, and comfortable tummies. We have found ourselves. Sometimes it’s through great acts of bravery…like, getting a divorce or becoming a widow and managing our worlds in spite of the pain. Sometimes it’s through the loss of children. Sometimes it’s when we find ourselves abandoned or abused. We find ourselves through age.
\nAging isn’t necessarily pretty. Disease can rob us of our health during what should be our golden years. Sometimes disease robs us of that one true love and our worlds will never be the same. I have a dear friend who lost her husband to cancer. Now, her BFF is dying and while she holds her friend, she has panic attacks and flashbacks of her husband’s decline. This is a brave woman to still be able to be there for her friend. I love her for that. She is a crone…through and through. Her wisdom and love are helping her friend in her transition. She is painting a masterpiece with her heart that would rival any by Monet, Renoir, daVinci.
\nAging ain’t for sissies, according to Bette Davis. We are crones. We are wise when we don’t feel wise. Strong when we don’t feel strong. I embrace my inner crone. The outer one is beginning to look more and more like her. My crone-self doesn’t have time for drama. No time for BS. No time for fake people. I’m ready to take on the mantle of crone and be darned proud wearing it. ❤️
\n“She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.”\nProverbs 31:26 ESV
\nPhoto Credit: “Old Woman” by Jessica Powers (via Pinterest)
\n", "date_published": "2017-04-08T01:55:19-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2017/04/08/the-art-of-aging.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Wisdom","Aging"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/11/24/give-thanks.html", "title": "Give Thanks", "content_html": "![\"Give](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/67f815284b.jpg\")
“Give Thanks”
I have more to be grateful for than I could possibly recount here, but I’ll list a few.
\nLOVE - I am grateful for the deep love I have in my life. Those closest to me are my rocks and I can never adequately thank them for all they do for me. To give love is divine. To be given love in return is a precious gift I will never take for granted.
\nSHELTER - While I have my camper TOW-Wanda that I’ve lived in most of the last two years, I am especially grateful to be given the opportunity to live on and take care of the family farm. The home of my heart…my uncle understands this is my healing place. A place where I am closer to those who have gone on before me. Another generous gift I’ll not take for granted.
\nWORDS - I have the joy of writing an essay every single day. Even though now it is more like an obsession, really. I cannot imagine not writing…even for a day. It’s as automatic as breathing and brushing my teeth. And, as a result of my writing, I have all you good people to interact with on a daily basis and I love you all. Your support far outweighs any efforts I put into this and I am deeply grateful for this blog.
\nMR. VIRGO - Three weeks before he died, we actually had a discussion about death and what we would want when the time comes. I remember telling him that if he died the next day, it would be a tragedy…but if I would have had him for one day, my life was surely richer for it. I am grateful we told each other often how much we loved each other. There are no regrets…only warm memories of having had a wonderful man in my life.
\nMUSIC - My world started getting color and sound back in it about two years after losing Mr. Virgo. I am grateful for the opportunities to go listen to live music with my friends. I am grateful for a Bluetooth speaker so I can fill my house with music.
\nAnd, last but certainly not least…
\nGOD and my CHURCH - I wouldn’t even HAVE a life if it wasn’t for the Grace of God. And my life is enriched by Pastor Justin and my Church family at The Warehouse Church. They bless me every day and help guide me through my spiritual journey.
\nI am thankful for so many things. My life is beautiful and sweet and peaceful. I am spending this holiday with my West Virginia family…those wonderful people who hold such special places in my heart. May you all celebrate Thanksgiving with loving kindness and gratitude. ❤️
\n“I will give thanks to you, Lord, with all my heart; I will tell of all your wonderful deeds.”\nPsalm 9:1 NIV
\n", "date_published": "2016-11-24T02:30:52-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/11/24/give-thanks.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Positive Energy","West Virginia","The Farm","Gratitude","God","Wisdom","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/11/23/reprise-the-ugly-side-of.html", "title": "Reprise: The Ugly Side of Grief", "content_html": "![\"Grief](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/5dd6367e81.jpg\")
“Reprise: The Ugly Side of Grief”
I wrote this two years ago. I think it bears repeating with the holidays approaching.
\nThe Ugly Side of Grief
\nRemember when you and I first started this journey? I told you I would speak from my heart. I would speak my truth as it is in the moment. I would tell you what it’s like to walk this path and I told you that sometimes it wouldn’t be pretty. Remember that? Well, I’m writing this at midnight and tonight is one of those nights that’s just not pretty.
\nI woke up with a migraine Wednesday morning and didn’t take the time to take care of myself as I would normally. My aunt had a doctor’s appointment in the afternoon so we were gone for several hours. (I’ve managed to get 2.2 pounds on her tiny little frame by adding cream and cheese and eggs to a lot of her foods. That’s a relief.) We got home and I fixed her supper. I really couldn’t eat much and I went straight to bed. I slept a couple of hours and woke up. And the second phase of my migraine kicked in….GI symptoms.
\nGrief is hard work. Being sick is hard work. Being sick and grieving and feeling anxiety build up in you and knowing the only thing you can do is use Rescue Remedy and ride it out till morning? That’s brutal. That opens all sorts of doors to thoughts better left for the light of day. When will this ever be over? Why did he have to die on me so soon? How am I ever going to find the strength to get through this? Is this what the rest of my life is going to look like? I’ve taken on a huge responsibility with my aunt’s care. Have I bit off more than I can chew? Am I strong enough to get through this?
\nThat last question is the crux of the whole thing…am I strong enough to do this? If you look at my frail little human self with my fears and my anxieties and my grief, the answer is an unequivocal “No…..not on my own.” I could not have gotten where I am today if it weren’t for my faith in a God much stronger than me. A God that will gladly carry every burden I have if I’ll just remember to turn to Him and ask Him to carry them. I couldn’t have made it this far without the countless prayers that have been offered up on my behalf. I hate the ugly underbelly of grief. The doubt and fear it stirs up in me scares me. And when I get scared, it’s easy to go running down the dark corridors of my 2:00 mind, jiggling door knobs, frantically looking for a way out of this purgatory.
\nMy rational 8:00 mind will return after while. I’ll get up and have coffee and the night will fade into memories of the many long nights of survival. And, until then, I will lay here in my comfy bed in my cold camper with my toasty electric blanket turned on high, and I will visualize sitting at the feet of God, my head on His knee, His hand stroking my brow, His love for me overflowing, His strength pouring into me, His gentle words of encouragement whispered into my ear. “It’s ok, baby girl. You fight hard and you get tired. You just rest in Me. I’ll take care of you tonight and tomorrow things will look a whole lot different…you’ll see. Trust Me.”
\n❤️
\n“The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.” Psalm 18:2 NIV\n", "date_published": "2016-11-23T02:30:12-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/11/23/reprise-the-ugly-side-of.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","God","Holiday","Wisdom","Fear"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/11/22/fill-er-up.html", "title": "Fill 'er Up", "content_html": "
![\"Woman](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/b13bfcd01e.jpg\")
“Get your tank filled.”
Borrowing from part of Sunday’s sermon, I’m going to run with this. I took the Ford in to get the oil changed and new brakes and asked them to check the engine. It had been running a little rough, I thought. After carefully checking it over, they determined I probably got a bad batch of gas and it would work itself out. I usually buy the lowest grade unless I’m towing my camper. That’s when I put high test in it…when I need to make sure it runs well and has the most energy.
\nOur bodies are like that F-150 engine. If we put crappy food in it, it isn’t going to perform at its best. You’ll be sluggish. The better your food intake, the more you can accomplish in your life.
\nWe need to feed our spirits in the same way. If you don’t feed your soul with “happy”, you can’t possibly reflect that back into the world. That doesn’t mean all sadness can be rectified with a big dose of happy…it can’t. But, you can ask my daughters. The first trip out after Mr. Virgo died…even before the funeral…I made them take me to Target and I bought every funny movie I could find in the $5 bin because I knew I was going to need that. We went home, popped popcorn, and had a comedy marathon. It helped tremendously to bring some normalcy into a distinctly abnormal, tragic situation.
\nJust like using a computer, “garbage in, garbage out” is relevant in so many areas of our lives. But we have to make choices. I know it’s not as simple as that, but putting joyful things in front of you goes a long way to helping lighten the load of grief. ❤️
\n“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.” James 1:2-3 NIV\n
\n
![\"Bird’s](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/05cc0b0a1b.jpg\")
“A bird’s nest from the farm.”
One late fall day, I was walking down the long drive to get the mail and paper when I noticed an abandoned nest in the ditch. I’m not familiar enough to know what kind of bird made it although it is lined with mud. I know swallows do that. I picked up the little nest and sat it on the end of the old wooden ironing board I use as a perch for the cats and there it sat. That is, until I “decorated” for the holidays. I thought it looked better sitting beside the old hunting boots I found in a barrel downstairs.
\nOne of the joys of living out on the farm is the vast number and variety of birds here. I could hardly wait to put out bird feeders. I have them situated so I can see them from the rocking chair in the front window. They remind me of a verse in the Bible that tells us not to worry about getting the things we need because if God provides for the sparrow, he will certainly provide for us. Everything a bird needs is found in nature. Our added efforts to draw them in with extra food only baits them for our viewing pleasure. But, even though God gives the worm, he doesn’t provide room service. The birds still have to get out every day and forage for sustenance. They have to work for their blessings…they just don’t worry about it. Good advice.
\nGod has buckets of blessings with our name on them. They are the blessings HE wants for us…not our selfish requests. HE wants to prosper us, but on HIS terms…not ours. I can’t just sit here in the rocking chair and wait for UPS to hand deliver my blessings. I have to suit up and show up. I have to prepare myself through prayer and meditation. I have to treat my body like the temple it is with proper food and activity. I have to maintain my health. For me, personally…I have to be in the Word every day. I have to practice all three parts of Matthew 7:7…ask, seek, and knock. The action words. When I “ask”, I ask for the blessings HE wants to give me. When I “seek”, I ask how I can best serve HIM, not the other way around. And when I “knock”, I beg God to open the door to His heart and shower me with the abundance HE has in mind. That is how I “work for my supper”. He feeds my spirit AND my life.
\nSo, just as the bird must work for the blessing of food, so do I. I am grateful for the beauty…and the bounty…in my life. ❤️
\n“Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?” Matthew 6:26 NIV\n
![\"Snowflake\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/48d44dbcc9.jpg\")
“Snowflake”
This is a big turning point in the year…the first snowflakes. They excite us. The holidays are coming. The turkey is probably thawing in your fridge. You are making your menu. You’ve shopped for the food. You’ve pulled out the recipes. You’ve invited family and friends. The games are scheduled. The marching bands will be descending on New York City any day. The workers are preparing the floats and the giant balloons. Deer season is starting. And here they are…the first flakes of snow.
\nI was standing in the Cook’s Store in Marietta after lunch yesterday when I overheard a couple talking about a bundt pan. The man admitted he used his as a water bowl for his dog. I tried not to show them I had overheard, but I was shaking as I laughed silently. I couldn’t help it. The look of horror on the face of the woman with him was classic! They noticed me and suddenly we were all having a grand, knee-slapping laugh. It was fun. It released a lot of stress to interact with total strangers with abandon. No agenda. We chatted a while then went on our way.
\nI moved to the la Cruset display in the front window and saw a beautiful red tea pot. I look out the window and caught the first snowflakes of the season. I could hear the tea kettle whistle in my imagination so I brought that little red teapot to the little red farmhouse. We will have many lovely moments together.
\nI lay in bed in the pale flickering candlelight and heard the icy snow hit the dry leaves with the same sound of sizzling bacon and wondered if it will amount to much. How will it affect my drive to church tomorrow? The first flakes of snow. The harbinger of change.
\nWinter.
\nMay she come in peace. ❤️
\n“He says to the snow, ‘Fall on the earth,’ and to the rain shower, ‘Be a mighty downpour.’ So that everyone he has made may know his work, he stops all people from their labor.” Job 37:6-7 NIV\n
![\"Albert](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/e5f2d1c568.jpg\")
“A word from the wise.”
It’s been a little over a week since the election. I don’t know about you…but I felt emotionally and physically exhausted after being subjected to such derision and anger on a daily basis. I, quite literally, was numb from the whole process and escaped through a cleaning frenzy the likes of which this house has not seen in years. And that’s from a woman who never watched TV throughout the entire campaign. I jumped on the Peace Train. I prayed and wrote and meditated and tried to wrap my head around the whole thing. Who I voted for doesn’t matter as much as the fact that I voted…there’s problems from both sides. I ride in the neutral zone here on The Ranch because politics raises passions and I respect you all…regardless of politics.
\nOne SHOULD be passionate about one’s beliefs. This election highlighted how divided we are as a nation. While I preach a message of peace, that doesn’t mean I should shirk my duties as a concerned, active citizen. I should learn everything there is to know about the issues that effect the world today. And…I can do that without hurting anyone. It is my responsibility to be a contributing member of society and research legislation so I can make informed choices in the polling booth.
\nThis isn’t easy for me. Conflict makes me extremely uncomfortable…being the child of an alcoholic can make it very difficult to be around verbal disagreements. However, I can still suit up and show up without entering into the fray. I can be passionate about being the change I want to see in the world. I don’t have to advertise my position in order to affect change. I can help…and I can do it from a place of love. ❤️
\n“Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” Proverbs 19:21 NIV\n", "date_published": "2016-11-17T02:30:33-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/11/17/on-being-passionate.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Hope","Positive Energy","Growth","Comfort","Peace","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Presence","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/11/16/the-list.html", "title": "The List", "content_html": "
![\"Ohio](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/fe13d6356f.jpg\")
“Digital painting of the Ohio River at sunset.”
I still suffer from “grief brain” to some extent. Or maybe it’s just the natural progression of aging. Or a combination of the two. I don’t know. What I DO know is, I have a whole list of things in my head at night when I lay down. I think of a dozen things I should have done during the day. And a dozen more that come to mind as my brain notices I want to go to sleep so it pops up and says “Here’s twenty-four things to remember in the morning. No fair getting up and writing it down!” So, it takes forever to go to sleep and…I wake up knowing there were twenty-four things and I remember, like…two. SO frustrating!
\nI thought I was done with lists when I quit working and things got done at my leisure. Then Mr. Virgo died. My brain felt like I dropped a hair dryer in the bathtub while I was in it. I couldn’t remember anything to save my soul. It has gotten much, much better…but I think I will always have this lingering need to make lists now. And maybe write down where I park my car…and put my keys, etc. Now, I have to write lists, set alarms, send myself texts. If not, things get missed.
\nThe thing about lists now that I’m living 45 minutes from town is, I don’t shop as frequently so the lists get really long. And I end up spending all day running around from place to place. That was my day yesterday. I ended the day on a bright note, however. I met a friend for dinner and took time to watch the sunset over the beautiful Ohio River. And still, the moon is super. Thirteen deer on the road coming home last night. Today is trash day…and the beat goes on. ❤️
\n“The whole earth is filled with awe at your wonders; where morning dawns, where evening fades, you call forth songs of joy.”\n\n", "date_published": "2016-11-16T02:30:53-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/11/16/the-list.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","West Virginia","The Farm","Growth","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/11/13/country-kitchen.html", "title": "Country Kitchen", "content_html": "\nPsalm 65:8 NIV
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/2615771ddc.jpg\")
When I left this place in 1973, I was like most teenagers. I knew everything. I knew how the world worked. I knew I loved my boyfriend and we had just gotten married. I knew we were going to be married for, like...EVER! I knew I was going to have a dozen kids and I was going to be an x-ray tech. And I was going to live far, FAR away from this simple place that lacked my worldly sophistication. After all, I left here and went straight to England to live in a foreign country and drink proper tea. I certainly didn't need these simple country people. I was on my way up.
\n\n\nAnd, I didn't need them for a while. I had a baby overseas and I did fine. I set up housekeeping stateside and I did fine. Till that little starter marriage ran its course and then I wasn't quite so sure. That was the first time I decided to move home. I quit my job. I gave notice at my apartment. I called for the movers. Then I sat down and cried. I couldn't figure out what was wrong till the movers came and I sent his stuff and I stayed. That took guts. I knew very few people. I didn't have a job nor did I have a place to live. But I knew God would provide for me so I didn't worry about it.
\n\n\nGod did provide. I found a roommate. Then I found a job. And eventually, I met a nice man. Hubby #2 was in medical school when I discovered Mother Earth News. My mom wouldn't let me be a hippy so I really, REALLY wanted to be one in the '80s. I bought Birkenstocks. I wore maxi skirts. I taught myself to garden, can, and preserve. I made yogurt, bread, granola, tofu. I made quilts. I sewed my clothes. I even made my husband's ties. Then we moved to the country and bought a five bedroom log house on two acres and I considered myself \"a farmer\".
\n\n\nI had a huge garden and cut and split cord after cord of firewood for the wood stove. Then baby #2 came and changed all that. Now, baby #2 is 26. I'm a widow and retired. I'm a writer, blogger, gypsy. And now, a farmer...again. And here I am, back in that country kitchen. The one I tried so desperately to get away from. I guess maybe I didn't really know everything back then after all. Heck, I STILL don't know everything. But I'll tell you one thing, this little country kitchen makes my heart sing!
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2016-11-13T02:30:52-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/11/13/country-kitchen.html", "tags": ["The Farm","Wisdom","Aging"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/07/07/towwanda-blues.html", "title": "TOW-Wanda Blues", "content_html": "\n“I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go, and I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you.””
\nGenesis 28:15 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/f54f5abae5.jpg\")
I miss my girl! I didn't think I would, but I do. I miss my own bed. My little house on wheels. I never dreamed a camper would turn into such a sanctuary. I have been looking at a lot of pictures of my journeys over the last three years. I'm working on my book proposal and the pictures help me keep things in chronological order and remind me of the different legs of the three month trip I took in Little TOW-Wanda. For those of you who are new, I bought my first camper two weeks after Mr. Virgo died. A little 16' camper with bunk beds for my grandkids. She was truly my sanctuary. I felt safe, like a little cocoon. After I sold my house and decided to live full time in my camper, I traded up for the 30' TOW-Wanda Grande. This picture shows the new backsplash I put in her...the first step to glamping her up. I have the paint and I'm going to paint the inside when I get back.
\n\n\nI also miss the river. There is something special about the flow of energy where I am parked. It's so peaceful there. It's funny...I feel anchored when I'm with TOW-Wanda at the river. Well, with TOW-Wanda anywhere, really. She represents stability to me.
\n\n\nRight now though, my focus is spending time with my family. The grandkids are growing so fast! We haven't had much of an agenda this week. Just hanging out, visiting, cooking, writing, helping out where I can. It's been very nice to just slow down and BE. This time will pass too quickly and I'll be heading back to WV before I know it.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2016-07-07T01:30:46-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/07/07/towwanda-blues.html", "tags": ["TOW-Wanda!","Comfort","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/05/24/letting-go-againand-again.html", "title": "Letting Go. Again...and Again.", "content_html": "\n“The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit.””
\nJohn 3:8 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/78c4cc93f2.jpg\")
Seriously, how many times do you find yourself letting go of the same d*** thing...over and over and over? The answer: as many times as it takes. This is the gift that keeps on giving, isn't it?
\n\n\nLetting go leaves a void. We are compelled to pick something up in its place. It's difficult to sit with a void. We feel out of balance. Out of control. Empty. So, we often reach for the brass ring...the prize...that one thing we \"couldn't live without\". This is the process of addiction. I know addiction is a strong term. But if you are letting go of your cell phone because it's dominating your world and you can't go an hour without fondling it...honey, I'm here to tell you, you're addicted.
\n\n\n\"Hi, my name is...\"
\n\n\nI let go of the life I thought I was going to have. I let go of my home and 95% of my belongings. I let go of the man who didn't make it home. I am letting go of weight that has kept me in shackles for far too long. And now, the cell phone? No, nope, uh-uh, not interested.
\n\n\nI write every post on my cell phone. It's ridiculous. I've got two laptops, a desktop, and an iPad. But, I choose to type my posts with my index finger, hunting and pecking on my iPhone. Granted, it's a 6+, but still. I am quite attached to my cell phone. I could certainly check it less often. Maybe I'll try that. Yeah...and, maybe I'll sprout wings and fly.
\n\n\nI've let go of enough for now.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2016-05-24T01:30:43-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/05/24/letting-go-againand-again.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Wisdom","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/04/28/crone.html", "title": "Crone", "content_html": "\n“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.”
\n1 Peter 5:7-8 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/2c8e0e7ed4.jpg\")
The word sounds bad. But it's meaning implies a wise woman. I've become a crone...a title I wear with as much dignity and grace as I can muster. We don't get to this age without a few battle scars. And the things we've gone through are the very things we use when we reach down to help the next person up.
\n\n\nThere was a time when my insecurities drove people away from me, which further fueled the insecurities. It wasn't until I pledged a moratorium on new relationships that I got a handle on it. I needed to learn that it is most often counter productive to \"chase\" people down in an attempt to spend time with them. I've learned to be the flower. All you have to do is blossom. The bees will come to you. Pretty simple, really.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2016-04-28T01:30:46-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/04/28/crone.html", "tags": ["Strong Women","Growth","Wisdom","Courage","Aging"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/04/14/taxes.html", "title": "Taxes", "content_html": "\n“So we say with confidence, “The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?””
\nHebrews 13:6 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/9badfbfe9b.jpg\")
I don't know why I do this. Year after year. I have a plan. It just never works out. I have a tendency to procrastinate. And yesterday, it caught up with me.
I have a hard time staying up with my checkbook. It's not a big deal because I follow everything online. But it becomes a big deal at tax time. I then make a frantic dash and download a year's worth of transactions, run a quick report in my accounting program, plug the numbers in my tax program, and voila! Easy peasy, right? Wrong.
It appears my bank changed horses in the middle of the stream and I was too busy with shiny objects to notice. Then when I tried to download, I broke the Internet. Well, ok...the bank's server crashed. Which I'm quite sure had absolutely nothing to do with the gazillion bits of info trying to zoom its way across cyberspace and cram down through teeny tiny wires into my computer. It was just a coincidence...right?
\n\n\nAnyway, after ten hours, at least three of which was spent on the phone with the uber nice bank lady (Jennifer...we're bff's now), I have lost eight months of data and got three of each of the rest of the transactions...one of which shows as a debit and the other two as a deposit. Seriously? It's fixable...really it is. I just have to enter a year's worth of transactions by hand. Oy.
\n\n\nWhy am I telling you this? Well, basically to let you know I didn't let this little fiasco ruin my day. I went out on the deck, took this beautiful picture, meditated, breathed deep, stretched, came inside, and took a hot bubble bath. I made myself stop, relax, and regroup. And then I went to bed. The computer will be sitting in the same place I left it last night. And my mind will be fresh.
\n\n\nJust because I'm three years into this grief journey, and just because I've changed my focus to wellness and making this my year to thrive, does not mean I no longer deal with \"grief brain\". Grief forever changes neural pathways. You just have to learn when it's OK to stop and say \"Enough already!\" Give yourself permission to not be perfect. And download your transactions every month, for crying out loud!
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2016-04-14T01:30:03-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/04/14/taxes.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Wisdom","Control"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/04/08/fitness-friday.html", "title": "Fitness Friday", "content_html": "\n“Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools.”
\nEcclesiastes 7:9 KJV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/8d1cb0a109.jpg\")
Balance. There are many things we need to balance in life. Work and play. Family and jobs. Kids and finances. Exercise and food. I once worked for an old school Doctor. He carefully explained his diet to every patient. And it was SO simple.
\n\n\nHe reminded his patients...\"The last bite does not taste any better than the first one did. Stop testing that theory.\"
\n\n\nHe told them \"If you eat one calorie less than you burn off, you will lose weight. But it's going to take a heck of a long time to do it. Do yourself a favor and widen the gap.\"
\n\n\nI loved that guy. Everything was very simple with him.
\n\n\nI hate the word \"diet\". It is synonymous with \"deprivation\". I prefer \"nourish\". We know full well what is nourishing to our bodies. I ate four boxes of Hagen Daz ice cream bars (10/box!!!) between Thanksgiving and Valentine's Day, I am embarrassed to admit. We won't even talk about the Pop-Tarts. I was sequestered, writing, watching the snow fall, depressed with winter, bored. I knew what I was doing but I did it anyway. And now I'm paying for it.
\n\n\nWe develop habits and addictions. We soothe and comfort and reward and punish with one of the most important things our body needs to survive. We should love our body back to health. We should apologize to it for neglecting it. We should nurture it back to health. Change is difficult. We don't like change. But let me tell you something. We can change it now...or the nutritionist is going to change it for us in coronary care.
\n\n\nIt's not too late. You're not too old, or too fat, or too far gone. One thing. Change just one thing. Add fruit instead of pie. Put the salad dressing on the side and just dip the edge of each bite in it for flavor. Try sprinkling a little nutritional yeast over your veggies instead of cheese. Then it will be easier to change two.
\n\n\nIf I can stop eating ice cream, so can you! I love you guys. I want you to be healthy. This was dinner last night. Yellow fin tuna, quinoa, cucumber salad, fruit salad, roasted crinkle cut squash with snow peas and red peppers. That was a boatload of food and I couldn't finish the whole thing. And there's not a ton of calories. I don't count calories. I don't weigh and measure. I follow Dr. Huttner's diet plan and drink lots of water and it always works for me.
\n\n\nMy posts are never intended as medical advice. I just tell you what I do. Always ask your healthcare professional before starting an exercise program or making major dietary changes.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n***Don't forget to check in Monday for something B-I-G!***
\n\n\nWhat could it be?
\n\n\n?
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2016-04-08T01:30:43-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/04/08/fitness-friday.html", "tags": ["Health","Positive Energy","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/04/06/burning-the-candle.html", "title": "Burning the Candle", "content_html": "\n“So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.”
\n1 Corinthians 10:31 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/f0589faee9.jpg\")
It was a long day yesterday working on the website and today will be even longer. There was a gentleman sitting at our table at Starbucks where we were working. He overheard our conversation and was asking me questions about what I'm doing. He was interested in my writing. He kept laughing when my \"media consultant\" aka Hubby #1 and I bantered back and forth with that old familiarity divorced people can sometimes achieve. I introduced myself...and my ex. He stopped and said, \"Your ex? I wish my ex and I could get along like that!\"
\n\n\nI hear that a lot. \"How can you be friends with your ex???\" Well, first of all, neither of my exes ever did anything so egregious that it couldn't be forgiven. Second, I wasn't the perfect princess in either one of the marriages that ended in divorce. I was a much better wife the third time around. I had learned a lot in those first two marriages.
\n\n\nWe are just people. We are fallible. We make mistakes. Sometimes they're great big ones that cause lasting damage. Sometimes people and situations just...change. What good does it do to carry all that anger and hatred with you to the grave? I know, I know...it isn't easy. No, it is not. But I'm here to tell you it's doable and being nice to each other and treating each other with respect is what we do to all humans. And almost all exes are human.
\n\n\nWhen ex-Hubby #2 had a new girlfriend.....oooooooh, I hated her. I was so angry, and hurt, and rejected. My heart was broken. But the Rabbi spoke at High Holy Days and said, \"It is not enough to ask for God's forgiveness. You must ask the forgiveness of those you sinned against.\" I thought about this the whole day and finally realized there was no getting around it. I called his girlfriend up, told her who I was...and asked for her forgiveness. I explained the significance of the day and told her I had spoken ill of her in the year before and I needed to ask for her forgiveness. After that, whenever she and my ex came into my mind, instead of feeling hurt and angry, I sent them love and light. I asked God to bless them with abundant love and happiness. They went on to marry and they are truly happy together. This freed me.
\n\n\nBoth of my exes have extraordinarily wonderful wives. They married well. They are good, strong women. They are kind and loving. They have great kids. We treat each other with love and respect. With time, effort, and love for our children, we have created a large extended family that gets together for special family events. There's never any fighting. Never a cross word. I love them all.
\n\n\nForgiveness goes a long way toward getting the life of peace you long for. Is there someone you need to forgive? Anger and resentment are the poison you take hoping that the other person falls ill. Isn't it time to free yourself from all that angst, pain and drama?
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2016-04-06T01:30:59-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/04/06/burning-the-candle.html", "tags": ["Family","Wisdom","Aging","Writing","Healing"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/03/24/self-worth.html", "title": "Self Worth", "content_html": "\n“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.”
\nMatthew 5:9 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/346b98326e.jpg\")
Repeat after me, \"I am worthy of _________.\" Fill in the blank with whatever comes to your mind. If we spoke to others the way we speak to ourselves, we wouldn't be long for this world, I imagine. We are bullies. We beat ourselves up WAY too often. And yes, I'm talking to you, Ms. Sixty-Something who says you're past all that now. You know deep down, there's still that nagging little witch who's been there since you were 12. You can't fool me. Now, maybe you've toned her down 1000% and that's great. I know I have. But she still pipes up every once in awhile with something totally inappropriate.
\n\n\nI'm doing this free 21 day meditation series with Deepak Chopra and Oprah on \"Shedding Weight\". I was pleasantly surprised when it began with something far removed from the bathroom scale. It began with something you cannot measure...ridding yourself of toxic relationships. Believe it or not, if someone makes you feel bad about yourself, you can release that person from your life. If you do not, and you make yourself miserable, that is a choice. And then you proceed to beat yourself up even more because you don't make the break. Are you not worthy of emotional freedom? It's a vicious cycle, this. Break free!
\n\n\nI am of the thought that before you break away, you should exhaust every avenue at making a friendship equal. But if you've tried everything, you do have permission to take care of yourself.
\n\n\nThe meditation series goes on to talk about bad memories that we carry around with us like dragging bags of garbage behind us every single day. If you are holding onto the way your ex treated you years ago (OK, I have been guilty of this) you are not living in the present moment. If you are worrying about something that may or may not happen in the future that is beyond your control anyway, you are not living your life...here, now. When you focus on this very moment, then the past thing isn't really here anymore. It's a memory...a story we tell. To others. To ourselves. It is gone. It is done. Let it go. And the future is entirely unpredictable. Don't try to live there. It's like trying to stand on a bowling ball. Plan as best you can, and let it go. I know...easier said than done. But being still and listening for God's whispers keep you grounded... here. This is the only moment there is.
\n\n\nWhen we think ourselves unworthy, we have raped our own hearts. God loves us. He didn't create junk. He created unbelievably beautiful creatures in His image. Of COURSE you are worthy! Remember Whose child you are! Straighten that crown, darling...and hold your head high!!!
\n\n\nRepeat after me...\"I am worthy!\"
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2016-03-24T01:30:20-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/03/24/self-worth.html", "tags": ["Health","Wisdom","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/03/12/angelversary.html", "title": "Angelversary", "content_html": "\n“What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul?”
\nMatthew 16:26 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/1293d37d97.jpg\")
I so wanted to write a beautiful, totally upbeat story today about how wonderful my life is and how up and optimistic I'm feeling and how this day is just like every other day in my hap-hap-happy life. Yesterday morning, I could do that. And tomorrow, I'll more than likely be able to. But today? Well, in all honesty...I don't know how today is going to pan out. I can tell you, however, that I am writing this on Friday afternoon and Friday afternoon, I crashed and burned.
\n\n\nI was fine all day yesterday. Really fine. I exercised with my trainer/friend. We had a nice lunch and sat out in the sun. I ran errands. I took a little nap. I went to City Park to walk some more. And, that's when it hit me. That incessant witch in my head that insists on pointing out every happy fricking couple driving through the park...walking together...holding hands on a warm, sunny, spring day. Today I hate them. Thankfully, tomorrow I won't notice them. But today, they suck.
\n\n\nBut...here's the good news. Here's what will give you hope. Even as I sat in my truck at the park, hands on the wheel, unable to get out, tears rolling down my cheeks to drip off my chin, momentary bitterness consuming me....even with that, a text came in offering understanding and a prayer that my angelversary goes well. And I knew, this angst and bitterness is, indeed, momentary. I haven't had a long stretch of melancholia in a long time.
\n\n\nThe uplifting text brought me out of my reverie and I dragged my feelings home to deal with them in a constructive way. I grabbed a beverage, turned on the gas campfire on the deck, and caught some great shots of the sun setting over my beloved Ohio River...its glassy surface reflecting the clouds. I settled into my chair and listened to the peepers calling from the pond across the cornfield. The phone rang and my spunky friend from high school called to check in and see how I'm doing. I'm doing fine, really. It's just that...in that moment...it really sucked.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2016-03-12T02:30:51-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/03/12/angelversary.html", "tags": ["Grief","Wisdom","Anger","Choices","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/03/07/strive-to-thrive.html", "title": "Strive to Thrive", "content_html": "\n“You’ve kept track of my every toss and turn through the sleepless nights, Each tear entered in your ledger, each ache written in your book.”
\nPsalm 56:8 MSG\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/e28afd66b3.jpg\")
A friend of mine is struggling with the waves of grief again. It's been four years. Doesn't matter. Grief works that way sometimes. You can be fine...really fine for long stretches of time. And then something smacks you in the forehead and you remember that piece of your brokenness that you placed in an iron box. Grief drags you over by the ear and forces you to look at it again. Try as you might, you can't turn away. As hard as it is to go through it yourself, it's just as hard to watch a friend standing in the fire and know you can only stand there with the salve to bandage the burns after Grief has had her way.
\n\n\nI was relating this to someone and they said it sounded like someone else they knew...meaning me. That has given me pause. I had to ask myself if I am stuck in my grief. I mean, I can see how it might look that way from the outside. I honestly don't believe I am. I don't sit at home and cry. I live with hope. I'm not depressed. But I do talk about grief...a lot. This blog is my ministry. I write about my experiences with grief. I write about my relationship with Mr. Virgo as well as my loss. I write about my feelings which sometimes includes those directly related to grief. My blog is my story. My books are my story. I am NOT my story. And as I head into this last week before the third angelversary, I'm going to explore that with you.
\n\n\nI've had a paradigm shift this week. And I have made a decision. The first year was the \"Year of the Great Fog\". The second was \"The Year of Diminishing Pain\" because the fog had lifted. The third was the \"Year of Blessed Relief\" because I could finally breathe and explore my personal and spiritual growth. I've decided the fourth will be the \"Year to Thrive\". I'm awake. But, oh my gosh! I have looked at myself in the mirror. I love who I see, for the most part. A confident, younger-looking, wise woman with a heart full of love and positive energy. That being said, my conditioning and diet have really fallen by the wayside. I have a lot of exciting opportunities being presented to me. I want to have the energy and stamina to get out there and really enjoy the next couple of decades. I'm not going to be able to participate like I want to unless I get in better shape.
\n\n\nI started working with a personal trainer this week and I'm going to incorporate my work with him here in a weekly update...\"Fitness Friday\". I need the accountability and it gives me more to talk about than just my loss. Don't worry...I'm not going to preach at you. I'm a Documentarian! I don't preach...I bring you into my world and show you what it's like to live here.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2016-03-07T02:30:58-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/03/07/strive-to-thrive.html", "tags": ["Health","Positive Energy","Wisdom","Aging","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/03/05/make-love-not-war.html", "title": "Make Love, Not War", "content_html": "\n“Souls who follow their hearts thrive; fools bent on evil despise matters of soul.”
\nProverbs 13:19 MSG\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/08968ac206.jpg\")
The angry, hateful rhetoric being slung around like a bunch of schoolyard bullies continues to dismay me. And it makes me wonder...where are the hippies? Where are the pacifists, the tree huggers, the flower children? I want them back. I want them to protest. I want them to stand up and say, \"No...we won't take this!\" I want them to put flowers into the weapons that are destroying us!
\n\n\nWhere are they? What happened to Flower Power? We fought for something. We stood up for our rights. Everyone seems so complacent anymore. I have nothing to say about who you vote for. It is your right to choose in this country. But I do have to ask you...BEG you to exercise your right to vote. It's an important right that was hard fought for.
\n\n\nI wanted to be a hippie but my mom wouldn't let me. Wanda Belle would have tanned my hide if I acted like a \"wild nelly\". I know every generation thinks the world is going to h$&@ in a hand basket, but we've never seen anything like this. I want the peace freaks back.
\n\n\nWhat do you all think? Where did they go?
\n\n\n✌️❤️?
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2016-03-05T02:30:31-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/03/05/make-love-not-war.html", "tags": ["Hope","Grace","Love","Peace","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Choices","Change","Kindness","Friends"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/03/04/outlove-your-neighbor.html", "title": "Outlove Your Neighbor", "content_html": "\n“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.”
\nMatthew 5:9 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/d92c1dc321.jpg\")
No, that isn't a typo. I said \"outlove\", not outlive. To borrow an idea from my pastor's sermon last Sunday, I'm going to run with this one.
\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\"Love your neighbor as yourself.\"
\nLuke 10:27\n
We are called to love one another...as we love ourselves. If this is true, there must be many who do not think very highly of themselves because there's a lot of hatred and anger in the world. There's a lot of name calling, people bashing, racism, bigotry, intolerance. That can only come from a lack of love.
\n\n\nThe pastor spoke of the story of the Good Samaritan. Jesus was teaching when an expert in the law stood up to test Him. He wanted a definition of exactly who is a neighbor. So Jesus, as he often did to illustrate His point, told a story. A traveler was accosted by robbers, stripped of his clothes, beaten, and left for dead by the roadside. A priest was coming and saw the man, bleeding profusely, and crossed the way to avoid him. Maybe he was late for an appointment. Maybe he was squeamish at the sight of blood. For whatever reason, he avoided the man who needed help. Then along came a Levite. This would be someone who assists in the Temple. He too crossed over and avoided the wounded man. Perhaps he felt his station was too lofty to stop and care for him. Perhaps he had just changed into his best robes and didn't want to get in the gutter and get dirty with the traveler's blood. Then along came a Samaritan. Now, a Samaritan was the lowest of the low in the society of that day and age. Samaritans were never even spoken to. The Samaritan saw the man lying there, ran to him, ministered to his wounds and carried him off to find lodging. He paid for someone to feed and house this stranger. The lowest of the low loved the most.
\n\n\nWe love the downtrodden...to a certain extent. We think we would be there for someone...no matter what. But would we? Really? There are often conditions to love. Sometimes, love is bought and paid for. \"I love you, but...\" Getting in there and loving someone...really serving...is messy. We get their stuff all over us. It's inconvenient. It is often uncomfortable. It needs a greater love than we feel we are capable of.
\n\n\nSo, what would happen if we \"outloved\" each other? What would happen in the world if, in every interaction we had with our neighbors, we said to ourselves, \"I am going to love them more than they could ever possibly love me!\"? What if we all did that? The only way is up if outloving someone is your entire agenda. They didn't love you back? That's ok...outlove them anyway.
\n\n\nLove always trumps hate. Don't be a sheep and hop on board the hatred bandwagon. Don't be part of the problem. Be part of the solution.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2016-03-04T02:30:35-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/03/04/outlove-your-neighbor.html", "tags": ["Love","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/02/28/our-rights.html", "title": "Our Rights", "content_html": "\n“Jesus said, “The first in importance is, ‘Listen, Israel: The Lord your God is one; so love the Lord God with all your passion and prayer and intelligence and energy.’ And here is the second: ‘Love others as well as you love yourself.’ There is no other commandment that ranks with these.””
\nMark 12:29-31 MSG\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/ed69efdbd3.jpg\")
The late author, David Foster Wallace, said \"In reality, there is no such thing as not voting: You either vote by voting, or you vote by staying home and tacitly doubling the value of some diehard's vote.\" Each passing generation gets further and further away from the days of the suffragette. They struggled for the right to vote, often being beaten and thrown in jail.
This election is critically important. Whatever you do, get out and vote!
❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2016-02-28T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/02/28/our-rights.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","West Virginia","Wisdom","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/02/25/saudade.html", "title": "Saudade", "content_html": "\n“Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God.”
\nRomans 13:1 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/7d40003460.jpg\")
I follow an author on Twitter that had a list of descriptive words for feelings. I came across saudade. Three syllables. Soh-DAH-deh. It's from Portuguese Folklore meaning an intensely strong yearning for someone who is no longer with you. Saudade. I've never found a more accurate word to describe what goes on in my heart some days. It even sounds appropriate.
\n\n\nMost days I'm fine. The beast remains tamed...mollified with promises that we'll revisit this whole thing like Adelle in \"Hello\"....later, later. Compartmentalized. Then, along comes something...anything, nothing, doesn't matter...along comes this thing and the Gatekeeper starts rummaging through his key ring to open the lock on my heart. I hear him coming, his footsteps echoing down the long corridors of my mind and I moan somewhere deep within. Because I know what's going to happen when he gets where he's going. Saudade.
\n\n\nThe Gatekeeper came yesterday. I had just finished writing a post for the Sisters on the Fly Blog. I set my laptop aside, leaned back in the chair, closed my eyes and listened to the sounds of a stiff rain mixed with the soothing meditation music I listen to when I write. The phone interrupted my reverie a few minutes later. It was my daughter. My baby. There was a breathless excitement in her voice. She is engaged!
\n\n\nSaudade. The Gatekeeper came creeping in on Doc Martins...crushing grit between his soles and the doorstep to my heart. Mr. Virgo would have loved this. He would have held my hand while I heard the news. He would have taken the phone and said, \"Congratulations, baby doll!\" He would have started planning the wedding in his head, because that's what he did for a living. It's hard when the happy family events occur and he's not here with me.
\n\n\nI let the Gatekeeper have his way with me. And it wasn't so bad. I've certainly felt worse at his hand. After talking with them, telling them how much I love them, listening to the details of just how the proposal went down, hearing the love in their voices....we rang off and I sat there, alone. Saudade. Saudade. Thank you, Lord. Saudade.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2016-02-25T02:30:28-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/02/25/saudade.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Growth","Wisdom","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/02/23/when-hate-become-bigger-than.html", "title": "When Hate Become Bigger Than Love", "content_html": "\n“Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their opponents in court.”
\nPsalm 127:3-5 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/0ed4021e57.jpg\")
Gandhi urged us to be the change we want to see in the world. If we want goodness, we must be good people. Mr. Virgo called me Pollyanna because I always look for the good...always. When you look for the bad, it's all you will ever see. It becomes the lens through which you observe everything. It is poisonous, killing you and your loving heart, your caring mind.
\n\n\nBut even I, in my eternal sunshine of being, am becoming weary. I shared a meme on my personal page yesterday. It was a picture of our President and First Lady, dancing. It wasn't meant as a political statement. The message was this. Whether you hate him, or you hate her, THEY are not the problem. HATE is the problem. I'm not talking politics here. I'm talking about the human condition and hate is rampant out there. It baffles me.
\n\n\nWithin seconds...SECONDS....of posting this message against hatred, my page was bombarded with angry messages. From people I know. People I love. People I have trusted with my heart. It was extremely discouraging. And it hurt my soul. I know...I should have known better. I came close to touching the third rail. I took the post down. Not in defeat but for self-preservation.
\n\n\nI cannot hate. I've been angry enough to entertain it in my heart before and it kills me. Hate is a product. Fear begets anger which in turn begets hatred. It's a cancer. It is relentless and will not be satisfied. It is hungry. But I cannot dine at that table. I can't even hate the haters. I'm not milquetoast, either. I have opinions and I can stand up for them.
\n\n\nWhat must Jesus be thinking?
\n\n\n\"See...I told you to love your neighbor as you love yourself. What are you doing???\"
\n\n\nBut...they've forgotten. We're ALL neighbors.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2016-02-23T02:30:36-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/02/23/when-hate-become-bigger-than.html", "tags": ["Love","Wisdom","Anger","Fear"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/02/02/emails.html", "title": "15,578 E-Mails???", "content_html": "\n““A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.””
\nJohn 13:34-35 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/374b7a39d8.jpg\")
Oy! Ok, here's what happens when you only use hand held devices to access the Internet, write every blog post, use myriad apps, and check your e-mails. Those e-mails don't go away on their own. And I have a VERY bad habit of just reading them and closing them without deleting them. I decided to get out my new(er) computer yesterday and realized I haven't updated Windows since last April. I never use this computer, although I should because it is the new one. And you wanna know why I don't use it? Because, there's a glitch in Word 2013 and that's the program I use for writing my book and instead of being patient and trying to fix the problem, I get frustrated, shut it down, and go back to my old laptop. Which is getting full. And old. And obsolete. And slow. So yesterday, I decided I'm bigger than that. I can put in the time necessary to get this thing up to speed. Yeah...right!
\n\n\nFirst off, I checked my e-mail. There were 15,578 of them! No lie. Holy cats! I spent the better part of two hours sweeping them out and managed to get all the way down to just over 13,000. Sigh. That will have to wait. I tried to boot up Word and it crashed, as expected. I tried the troubleshooter and didn't get anywhere. I went to the Microsoft page to troubleshoot from that end and got a message that I haven't updated Windows since the Reagan administration. Ok...slight exaggeration. I checked to see how many critical and recommended updates that have accumulated since April. There were....ummmm, 82! This was obviously going to take a while. I set the new laptop aside and picked up the old laptop. Which I had updated 2 hours prior and the little wheel was still turning with the message \"Restarting\". Once I got everything kind of put back together, I went back to do a second scan for updates and there were 122 more! Seriously...I am not a very patient person.
\n\n\nSo, I picked up my phone to write this post the \"old fashioned way\". And check my e-mail. Oy!
\n\n\nI don't know about you, but I find myself far less organized since Mr. Virgo died. And I wasn't terribly organized before. I just don't seem to have the head for details like I did. There is such a thing as \"grief brain\"...a kind of emotional jet lag that hits hard with acute grief but gets better over time. But then you have the normal effects of aging thrown in. So it's hard to tease out what is what. At any rate, I messed around with those computers for over 12 hours yesterday and was half cross-eyed when I finally gave it up for the night. Today is another day.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2016-02-02T02:30:33-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/02/02/emails.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2016/01/06/what-a-feeling.html", "title": "What a Feeling", "content_html": "\n“For there is a proper time and procedure for every matter, though a person may be weighed down by misery.”
\nEcclesiastes 8:6 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/aff95ae050.jpg\")
Last night was special. I was invited to speak to a grief support group at my home church in Colorado. And the gals on either side of me in this photo are fellow Ranchers! I am so blessed to have had this time to share my journey and to sit with these beautiful people. I am humbled by your reception.
\n\n\nToday is a very special day for me. This is my \"re-birth day\". Sixteen years ago today I was at the lowest point of my life. Lower even than losing Mr. Virgo because I lacked the skills at the time to pull myself through it. My 21 year marriage was over. I was severely depressed. I could barely get out of bed and brush my teeth. I was grossly over medicated and being doctored to death. I was lost.
\n\n\nI was alone that evening, suffering yet another migraine. I took my medicine. It didn't go away so I took more. I got goofy and couldn't remember if I took my medicine so I took more. At some point I realized I had a mouth full of pills but by that time I couldn't move. I took two full bottles and could quite easily have died if my husband hadn't come home to find me unresponsive.
\n\n\nI spent the night in ICU and a couple of nights in acute care then was sent to a facility in Denver where I stayed for two weeks. When I got out, my marriage was officially done, and I started the long climb back up from literally the bottom of the barrel.
\n\n\nA lot has happened in those sixteen years. I found my voice and stood up. I got divorced and survived. I built a house. I started a business. I lost my mom. I dated a cowboy. I remodeled a house. I became a Christian. I met Mr. Virgo and got married. I lost my dad. We moved three times. The kids grew up and moved away. Mr. Virgo died. I bought a trailer, and wrote and wrote and wrote. And, guess what's happening today? Today, sixteen years after very nearly dying of an overdose, I'm being interviewed by the New York Times. Seriously? I'm so excited I can hardly stand it.
\n\n\nThere is no question...there IS a God. And He is so, so good!
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2016-01-06T02:30:09-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2016/01/06/what-a-feeling.html", "tags": ["Health","Hope","Growth","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Press","Starting Over","Healing"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/12/31/kintsukuroi.html", "title": "Kintsukuroi", "content_html": "\n“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
\nIsaiah 41:10 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/5472530159.jpg\")
For centuries, the Japanese have employed kintsukuroi when repairing broken pottery. It literally means \"to repair with gold\". It is the art of repairing pottery with gold or silver lacquer and understanding that the piece is more beautiful for having been broken.
\n\n\nLife breaks us. The \"breaking\" is not necessarily of your making. Unkindness, loss, abuse, grief, infidelity, betrayal, death....all things that life throws at us. Things we have no control over. They break us. And then God starts working on us...stitching, mending, piecing our hearts and souls back together into something much, much stronger than was there before. He lets us keep the scars so others can see we are conquerors. So we can see where His hand has touched us.
\n\n\nThere is nothing beautiful about loss. There is nothing beautiful about the unbearable pain we are forced to endure when we lose someone we love. Nothing. But when I go deep inside and look at my scars, I can see they are intricately woven with strands of pure gold. I can see they are stronger than the surrounding tissue because God wove each thread into exactly the place it needed to be to make me stronger. To me, the fact that God Himself mended my wounds is what brings the beauty.
\n\n\nAnd...that's a wrap for 2015. A year of surprises, growth, healing, love, adventure, words, pain, and...beauty. Unexpected beauty. Beauty in all the broken places. Thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being here with me for another trip around the sun. I love you all!
\n\n\nHere's to a Happy, Healthy 2016!!!
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n\n“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”
\nPsalm 147:3 NIV\n
Photo Credit: www.lakesidepottery.com
\n\n", "date_published": "2015-12-31T02:30:53-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/12/31/kintsukuroi.html", "tags": ["Grief","Love","Wisdom","Marriage","Healing"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/12/26/on-my-way.html", "title": "On My Way", "content_html": "\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/d82aca4190.jpg\")
There have been many times in my life when I felt lost. I spoke the words into the universe and it became so. I believed it. And...there have been times when I was truly lost. I had no sense of direction. I was depressed, hurt, angry, grief stricken. Like the first year after losing Mr. Virgo. \"Lost\" doesn't begin to describe what I was going through. I was the walking dead. The second year was worse but only because I was awake and aware I was walking through fire. The third year has brought many awakenings and amazing discoveries.
\n\n\nI've made a new best friend. She's kind and caring. She's smart and capable. She's funny and tender. She's a little crazy, but in a really good way. She's brave. She's so very brave. She's assertive but not aggressive. She's flighty but still dependable if you don't mind her flexible schedule and her personal interpretation of time. She's fiercely loyal yet when she's done, she's done. She's really creative and wants to learn new things. She's not very patient. And she's kinda stubborn. I met her on the top of a mountain in Colorado. She was sitting there, really quiet, like she had been waiting on me forever. She was SO excited when I saw her and introduced myself. I swear, she hasn't stopped talking since. She has so much to tell me about herself that some days all I can do is listen. Her words tumble out in an animated cacophony of thoughts. I have to laugh at her some times because she interrupts me and forces me to pay attention, like my baby did when she was two. She pisses me off sometimes because she calls in the middle of the night and wakes me up with new ideas or maybe a worry or two. But, I love her. I love her more than I thought I ever could. I see her every day. Our shadows are identical. She's that amazing woman I see in the mirror. She's who I am becoming. I am not lost. I am on my way.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2015-12-26T02:30:58-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/12/26/on-my-way.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Growth","Wisdom","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/12/09/holidays.html", "title": "Holidays", "content_html": "\n“For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”
\n1 Corinthians 13:12-13 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/81ee5dae2b.jpg\")
As we march through the season, I am remembering all the wonderful holidays I have been blessed to be a part of. When I was Jewish, one of my favorites of course was Hanukkah. A lot of people think of it as the Jewish equivalent to Christmas and I suppose in secular circles it appears so. In reality, it is a very minor Jewish holiday and has been given more prominence by Hallmark and commercialization.
\n\n\nAs a Jewish doctors' wife and mother in a small community, and given my penchant for parties, I've organized many Hanukkah parties in my day. I've fried a boatload of latkes. I've spun a ton of dreidels. One of the hardest parts of being a Jewish mother wasn't trying to make sure everyone had enough to eat. It was witnessing religious discrimination firsthand as it affected my daughters...the youngest especially.
\n\n\nIt's difficult to know what people want you to say to them this time of year. Some are so easily offended by Merry Christmas. Others are equally offended by Happy Holidays. To me, as long as you look in my direction and toss a greeting of some sort in my general direction, I'm tickled to death to think you cared enough to wish me well. I don't care what you say. But when I send out my greetings on the wind...I'm sending out Happy Holidays. Because, at this time of year there are many holidays and I'm not going to assume you celebrate mine. I just want you to have a happy one, whatever you do. I'm not trying to deprive you or take anything away from you. I'm trying to give you a gift of myself from my heart.
\n\n\nIt's not about being \"politically correct\". It's all about being inclusive, loving, and gracious. I'm not a mind reader. I can't tell what faith you are just by looking at you. I just love you because you're human. You are my species. I respect you far beyond the rituals you celebrate. There is enough derision in the world. Let's love our neighbors this year and greet one another with love.
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2015-12-09T02:30:11-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/12/09/holidays.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Holiday","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/09/13/just-what-the-doctor-ordered.html", "title": "Just What the Doctor Ordered", "content_html": "\n“So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.”
\nMatthew 7:12 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/08a6cbb8c6.jpg\")
I know what I need to do. I KNOW I need to get back on the horse. But, I also know that's where the work gets done so I have a tendency to keep my head low and my powder dry. I have to come out of hiding eventually though, because I am not buying real estate here in the nether regions. I sometimes have to force myself. I know instinctively when the time is right. Last night was the right time. I went out with friends to the Sternwheel Festival for BBQ on the banks of the Ohio and saw the best fireworks display ever. That is a waterfall of fireworks coming off the bridge in this picture. It was stunning!
\n\n\nSometimes you know what will make you feel better but it's just so hard to get up the gumption to do it. You have to listen to your heart. You also have to know when to tell it to step aside, right girls?
\n\n\n❤
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2015-09-13T01:30:59-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/09/13/just-what-the-doctor-ordered.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Wisdom","Choices","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/08/02/memories.html", "title": "Memories", "content_html": "\n\"....he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake.\"
\nPsalm 23:3\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/3ef2c84499.jpg\")
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/7b3219d4a9.jpg\")
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/7e6fe0421b.jpg\")
Making memories...it's what we do every day, whether we mean to or not. Sometimes we have choices and we can make beautiful memories intentionally. Yesterday was one of those days. As a matter of fact, this whole week will hopefully be filled with wonderful memories that my grandchildren will tell their kids about. We're off to a pretty good start.
\n\n\nAfter a very long five hour drive, we got our campsite set up. We had a little quiet time then headed to Carbondale for dinner at a traditional '50s style diner. The kids really enjoyed that. After dinner, we went to Redstone and met two of their seven grandparents for live music and dancing. I love blended families when they work together with love for the kids and grandkids...and for each other. We all sat together and loved on the kids and visited. What a wonderful example for the children. I'm very proud of us.
\n\n\nWhile we sat and listened to music, my older grand daughter and I made lanyards. Who remembers camp and all the great arts and crafts you did? Well, this is Camp TOW-Wanda! We have coloring books and colored pencils, pipe cleaners, friendship bracelets, Minions Monopoly, fishing, boating, hiking, campfires, s'mores, weenie roasts, swimming, adventure park rides, horseback riding, and a rodeo to do by the time we head home on Thursday. Then....shhhhhh, don't tell the kids, but we're all going to see Kelly Clarkson and Pentatonix in concert Thursday night!
\n\n\nDoes Nana know how to plan a camping trip or what????
\n\n\n❤️
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2015-08-02T01:30:33-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/08/02/memories.html", "tags": ["Colorado","Family","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","Fun","Wisdom","Be Joyful!","Widow","Road Trip"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/07/16/the-front-row.html", "title": "The Front Row", "content_html": "\n\"So Abram said to Lot, “Let’s not have any quarreling between you and me, or between your herders and mine, for we are close relatives.\"
\nGenesis 13:8\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/2f286405ae.jpg\")
Gone are the days when I've relegated myself to the third row. I don't regret anything I've done in my life because every step I made turned me into who I am today. But I do have some wishes. I wish I would have taken more chances, made more mud pies, rode more roller coasters. I wish I would have listened to that doctor and gone to medical school. I wish I wouldn't have tried so hard to fit square pegs into round holes. I wish I wouldn't have been so afraid.
\n\n\nI told Mr. Virgo once that I wish I would have met him in my 30's. He said, \"No, you don't. You wouldn't have liked who I was then.\" And, he's probably right because I don't think he would have liked the 30-year-old version of me, either. There's a reason we met when we did…it was the right time.
\n\n\nI had dinner last night with one of his cousins and her husband. We had never met in person. I'm not even sure we have ever spoken on the phone, but we have been Facebook friends since Mr. Virgo died. They were traveling through Denver and asked me to dinner. As I sat in the car waiting to go in, I found myself getting a bit emotional. I didn't know many members of Mr. Virgo's family and this was a blood relative so it seemed special…this physical connection. We laughed and told stories and I learned more about people he had spoken of. I had a great time and I'm really glad I went.
\n\n\nYes, gone are the days of third row seating. You'll find me up front from now on.
\n\n\n❤
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2015-07-16T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/07/16/the-front-row.html", "tags": ["Family","Grief","Growth","Wisdom","Aging","Change","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/07/12/life.html", "title": "Life!", "content_html": "\n\"Then Laban said to him, “You are my own flesh and blood.”…
\nGenesis 29:14\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/25ba3829e9.jpg\")
My oldest daughter turned 41 yesterday. Seriously? How did she get older than me? Honestly, I feel 35 inside most of the time…like I'm in some kind of time warp. The years whip by at a dizzying pace, but my perceived age remains the same. I look at my hands when arthritis makes my joints ache and wonder what could have happened to them. I look at the lines on my face in photographs and wonder when I became my grandma. I distinctly remember what it felt like to kiss her cheeks…how safe it made me feel. And it makes me smile in wonder that my grandchildren may feel the same when they kiss mine.
\n\n\nLife is a quilt. It tears us into the smallest of pieces sometimes. But, the most valuable quilts are those made with the most intricate patterns. The end result is totally dependent on how much hard work you're willing to put into it, isn't it?
\n\n\nHappy birthday, dear girl. Thank you for changing my name to \"Mom\".
\n\n\n❤
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2015-07-12T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/07/12/life.html", "tags": ["Colorado","Family","Overcoming Obstacles","Wisdom","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/07/11/storms.html", "title": "Storms", "content_html": "\n\"Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth.\"
\nPsalm 127:3-4\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/64af4809da.jpg\")
There are a lot of storms in life. You would be hard pressed to find anyone who could honestly say they had been untouched by calamity. Some people suffer storm after storm and never seem to catch a break. Others are ducks bobbing in a pond and nothing seems to touch them. But you simply cannot weather the storm of grief without coming out the other side a changed person (not that there IS an \"other side\"…it's more a case of the clouds parting…for longer and longer intervals.)
\n\n\nJust as in nature, lightning flashes, thunder crashes, and grief rains all over you….soaking you to the skin. You get washed away in the rising flood with regularity until you learn to take your boots and your raincoat and your umbrella. And maybe a boat. It takes a long time for you to remember you even HAVE those things. In most cases, you have to find new ones because the old ones don't work anymore.
\n\n\nI was looking through my phone yesterday and came across my favorite picture of Mr. Virgo. There was a time when that would have started an uncontrollable storm the likes of which I was hard pressed to survive. But, little by little, I have gathered my rain gear about me and discovered I'm a pretty hardy sailor when put out to sea. Yesterday, I looked at that picture and smiled and thought to myself, \"He's forever 62!\" He'll never suffer the infirmities of age. He'll never have the humiliation of that colonoscopy he so dreaded. He'll never have a diagnosis of cancer or Alzheimer's. He'll never be maimed in an accident. He'll never be relegated to a wheelchair or a nursing home. No, Mr. Virgo went out at the top of his game. He was well loved, both personally and professionally. He accomplished so much in his life and had seen incredible places. He met amazing people. He parented two beautiful daughters and step-parented mine and those of his second wife. He was a Papa to my grandchildren. He had been married to two other strong, wonderful women. And he married me. He adored me. ME! Imagine that!
\n\n\nReally….what more could a person ask for in life? More time? Of course. But we made very good use of the time we were given. We certainly didn't waste one moment of it arguing…ever. And now…I can dance in the rain, splash in the puddles, and remember a beautiful love story.
\n\n\nAnd…I can smile.
\n\n\n❤
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2015-07-11T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/07/11/storms.html", "tags": ["Grief","Growth","Gratitude","Wisdom","Courage","Aging","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/07/07/do-something.html", "title": "Do Something!", "content_html": "\n\"God’s voice thunders in marvelous ways; he does great things beyond our understanding. He says to the snow, ‘Fall on the earth,’ and to the rain shower, ‘Be a mighty downpour.’ So that everyone he has made may know his work, he stops all people from their labor.\"
\nJob 37:5-7\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/0cb080b695.jpg\")
Ok, second spoiler alert…I'm going to talk about the movie \"I'll See You In My Dreams\" again. Sorry…last time, I promise. So, if you haven't seen it and want to, stop reading. I'll be back with something you can read tomorrow! ❤
\n\n\nYesterday was a totally unexpected, off-the-wall, down, blue funk day. Even though my entire post yesterday was written about the movie I watched the night before, and even though I expressed that I no longer live in fear of losing another love, that movie knocked my feet out from under me for just a little bit. It was so unexpected, that sad twist in the plot. It took me forever to fall asleep and then I honestly didn't want to do anything all day yesterday. So, you know what I did? Absolutely nothing…other than go to my favorite German bakery for a pastry and to a needlework shop I found. My day was not totally wasted. I did SOMEthing. But mostly, I did nothing. And that's perfectly ok. It's been a long, long time since I spent a whole day wanting to pull the covers over my head. Of course, it didn't help that it was a grey, cold, drizzly day…all day long. I'm not going to berate myself for the self-care laden, bed surfing day that I obviously needed. Grief sucks but…today's another day and the sun rose yet again.
\n\n\n❤
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2015-07-07T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/07/07/do-something.html", "tags": ["Grief","Wisdom","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/06/22/remembering-the-grand-adventure.html", "title": "Remembering the Grand Adventure", "content_html": "\n\"Blessed are those who have regard for the weak; the Lord delivers them in times of trouble. The Lord protects and preserves them— they are counted among the blessed in the land— he does not give them over to the desire of their foes. The Lord sustains them on their sickbed and restores them from their bed of illness.\"
\nPsalm 41:1-3\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/915a760482.jpg\")
I took this photo a couple of years ago on the first leg of my Grand Adventure. I went on a long drive yesterday afternoon up by the ski area and the lupine looked just the same as this. I love them! They are airy and misty lavender-blue. I cannot believe how green it is in the high country right now. I was told Colorado has had ten inches of rain this spring. If it continues, it will look much like back east. But if it dries out, as it is likely to do soon, we could be in for a heck of a fire season due to the incredible amount of underbrush that has developed. We went from cool and rainy last week to 93 degrees and bone dry the last three days. It will dry out fast if that keeps up. In the meantime it was a beautiful weekend!
\n\n\nI had a deep awakening yesterday. I love it when someone who knows me well points out the obvious flaws in my logic that I simply do not see. Such was the case with yesterday's post. A friend of mine who is wont to shake me by the scruff of the neck, did just that. I have, on more than one occasion, spoken of my \"failure as a doctor's wife\"…as if it were some kind of job I had applied for and had the skills but just didn't complete it successfully.
\n\n\nI have always looked at that as a role I played instead of just being married to someone who happened to be a doctor. His job. Not mine. Being a doctor's wife was never my \"job\" so how could I fail at it? As my friend points out so eloquently, I was \"never responsible for his approval or his happiness\" so how could I be a failure? Wow…..just, wow.
\n\n\nI am quick to tell others, including my children, that we are not responsible for anyone's happiness but our own. Yet, here I am…fifteen years after the fact…considering myself a failure at something I had no control over. I have carried the belief (however deeply it was buried) that I did not make my husband happy so he left me for someone else. I convinced myself, and subsequently tried to convince YOU, that I failed as a \"Doctor's Wife\" as if there was a certain skill set I should have had in place and didn't. How liberating! I can let go of that belief. I'm free of the lingering self-recrimination that came with that falsehood. I love, love, LOVE when another layer gets peeled back and I can \"clean house\" inside!
\n\n\nThe new belief is \"At one time, we loved each other deeply then we grew apart. We each found true love with someone else.\" Period. No judgements. Wow.
\n\n\n❤
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2015-06-22T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/06/22/remembering-the-grand-adventure.html", "tags": ["Growth","Gratitude","Wisdom","Aging","Choices","Insight"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/06/16/glory-days.html", "title": "Glory Days", "content_html": "\n\"The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding.\"
\nProverbs 4:7\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/4ca1a85de8.jpg\")
I went to a movie with my kids and grandkids on my birthday. While ordering the tickets at the window, my daughter asked for two adults, two kids, and a senior citizen. My head whipped around and she stared at me with a look that said \"Uh-oh….she just realized she's old!\" Instead, I broke into a HUGE smile and started clapping. \"You mean I get a senior discount now??? Score!!!\", pumping my fist in the air. She looked around to see if people were giving her pitiful glances because her mom was doing the Happy Dance in the theater lobby. Do I get a discount on that overpriced popcorn, too? I dunno…I forgot to ask. I was just so darned excited at all the possible discounts I can receive now. And girl, I'm gonna WORK that! lol
\n\n\nI received a friend request yesterday on my personal page. It was from someone I have known since 1986. She and I were very close. Our kids were best friends in school. When things went south in my second marriage and I nearly died of an overdose, our friendship was affected. As can be the case in many divorces, lines of loyalty were drawn in the sand and I lost out in the equation. It's been 15 years and we have only spoken once. I have to admit, I sat there staring at her name in wonder. Why? Why now? How will this affect me? What does this mean? It didn't take me long, however, to remember the story of the prodigal son and I hit \"accept\". I posted on her page and told her how touched I was to receive a friend request from her. I commented on her post from the day before as she mentioned it would have been her 46th wedding anniversary that day. I told her I understood. I told her how, for me, grief is like walking through tall grass and stepping on a rake. The handle comes up and smacks you right between the eyes. And you never, ever know where that rake is or when the next step will trigger it. I told her how I admired her grace and poise and that I held a special place in my heart for her and her family all these years.
\n\n\nThere are those who would have been offended by the friend request. There are those who would have said, \"Screw her! She wasn't there for you when you needed her the most!\" But you know what? I wasn't there for her either. She was angry. She was hurt. She was afraid for us all. When something like divorce and depression and overdoses hit friendships, it's often too close to home and people run away to protect themselves. They run away because they don't know what to say. It's too hard to love both parties so they choose sides. That's human nature. But the bottom line is this. I am a totally different woman than I was when she knew me. And so is she. A lot of time has passed. For me, I prefer to embrace the healing this will offer. There has been a sad spot in my heart since she left my life…a spot only she could fill. Last night, that spot got filled back in because I was offered an opportunity to practice grace. These ARE the glory days. These are the days we will look back upon and remember. I wish to remember that I did good things…that I stepped up to the plate…that I overlooked the slight of a friend, no matter how long it was, and that I was able to comfort her in her time of need. This was as much a gift to myself as it was to her. This is a beautiful thing.
\n\n\n❤
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2015-06-16T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/06/16/glory-days.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Humbled","Aging"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/05/31/staying-present.html", "title": "Staying Present", "content_html": "\n\"The life of mortals is like grass, they flourish like a flower of the field; the wind blows over it and it is gone, and its place remembers it no more.\"
\nPsalm 103:15-16\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/4d33b2d88b.jpg\")
Friday I was sitting listening to music here at the festival. I was also checking in on my post, responding to remarks, keeping an eye on the weather, comforting a friend who is preparing to bury her daddy, and commiserating/congratulating another friend on her unexpected change in employment. I turned to one of my friends to tell her something about Sunday and she just sat there looking at me. Then quietly, matter-of-fairly, she stated \"You are never present.\"
\n\n\nWow.
\n\n\nWow…she's more right than wrong. I'm a multi-tasker. All my life, I have planned everything out ten steps ahead in my brain. This comes from being the child of an alcoholic and trying to anticipate the meltdown. In doing so, I miss out on a lot. So yesterday, I left my cell on the shelf in the camper, went to yoga, and breathed and stretched my body for an hour in the early morning sunshine. I did take it with me to music in the afternoon as I often write my posts in the afternoon/evening when the mood strikes me. But I kept it in my pack most of the day and tried to stay present, watch people, listen to the music, feel the vibe, smell the food.
\n\n\nIt's amazing how addicting technology is. And I'm really addicted to my phone. I'm going to work on that…but, being a writer, I must use my tools and write when the mood strikes and I'm feeling the most creative. It's an interesting awareness, though.
\n\n\n❤
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2015-05-31T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/05/31/staying-present.html", "tags": ["Wisdom","Presence","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/05/28/live-the-life.html", "title": "Live the Life", "content_html": "\n\"The Lord has done it this very day; let us rejoice today and be glad.\"
\nPsalm 118:24\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/7f2d9f6c80.jpg\")
Well, the sun has set on this chapter of my Grand Adventure. For those of you who are relatively new, here's a recap. Husband died, sold the house, bought a trailer, gave everything away, moved to West Virginia to take care of Aunt, didn't work out, house sat for six weeks, lived in my camper on the banks of the Ohio River during the worst winter WV has seen in many years (without running water!), listened to tons of live music, renewed friendships and made lots of new ones, bought a bike and a kayak, downsized even more, and now I'm heading for the Nelsonville Music Festival then back to Colorado for the summer. Whew…I'm exhausted just thinking about it!
\n\n\nThis was an expensive lesson I learned here. I paid to move things here. If I would have known the time with my aunt was going to be so short, I would have done things differently. I think the biggest take away is to never make assumptions. Always communicate your needs and desires clearly and listen to the spoken and unspoken words of others. Don't put all your eggs in one basket…have a contingency plan. Forgive. Nurture relationships. Appreciate your surroundings. Pray…a lot! And remember Who guides you through this wilderness.
\n\n\nI ran errands all day yesterday, but the most satisfying thing happened at dusk. I fit the last thing into the back of the pickup truck like the last piece of a puzzle. There's no more room…but I own nothing else so it really doesn't matter. To stand back and look at my handiwork was gratifying. To stand back and marvel that every single thing I own is resting on eight wheels was pretty humbling. Well, minus the items stored in my friend's basement but I'll be going through those in the fall and getting rid of more.
\n\n\nI did it! I simplified my life. Now, the only thing left is to LIVE it. Wanna come along???
\n\n\n❤
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2015-05-28T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/05/28/live-the-life.html", "tags": ["Travel","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","TOW-Wanda!","The Grand Adventure","Wisdom","Downsizing","Widow","Road Trip","Starting Over"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/05/27/morning-has-broken.html", "title": "Morning Has Broken", "content_html": "\n\"My heart is not proud, Lord, my eyes are not haughty; I do not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me. But I have calmed and quieted myself, I am like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child I am content.\"
\nPsalm 131:1-2\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/fa9cbd14e7.jpg\")
One more day! My friends and I hit the road tomorrow for the Nelsonville Music Festival. I'm really excited…now. Yesterday morning? Not so much. Yesterday I was overwhelmed. I had a list a mile long. I knew I needed to go out to the farm for at least one, probably two loads. I have taken several loads to the local mission. I've donated to the church resale shop. I've taken four loads to family members. A friend is keeping a couple of paintings for me as well as Mr. Virgo's wall clock. I took at least five or six truck loads to another friend for storage. I'm so grateful they have the room and offered to help me out. So, I was faced with two trips out to the farm, a couple loads of laundry, and the list.
\n\n\nThe festival will be hot and crowded. I had a picture in my mind of campers crammed together like sardines with no method of escape. Three things that have bothered me in the past…heat, crowds, no escape. Then, on top of that, I need to be fresh to head west on Monday. Too much. Too, too much. I woke up at 4:00, overheated and queasy. I promptly texted my friend and said I couldn't go. I just wanted to hit the road. And in true friend fashion, she said…well, I can't post what she said. *grin* Suffice it to say, she did what we always do to each other. She virtually grabbed me by the scruff of the neck and said, \"Cut it out!\"
\n\n\nShe was right, of course. I was feeling overwhelmed and trying to unburden myself with one of three missions coming up. I couldn't let go of the stuff at the farm. It had to be moved, no question. I couldn't let go of Colorado. I need to see my babies. So the only thing to let go of was the music festival…something I've looked forward to for five months. When your head is spinning with worry, you can get stuck there, spinning forever like a forgotten 45. Fortunately for me, I have friends who won't let me get by with that crap. I love them for that.
\n\n\nWhat totally turned my head around was when my friend said… \"Nelsonville is not your enemy. Anxiety is!\" Bam! I snapped right out of it. It's amazing what the mind can do to you.
\n\n\nAnd now? Everything is off the farm!!! Downsized even further, yet it will be pruned further still in the fall. Now I'm looking at Nelsonville as my reward…and I can't wait! Today I have a zillion things to do before we leave tomorrow. Once I get to the music festival, I'm going to kick back and chill for four days!!! Yes!!!
\n\n\n❤
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2015-05-27T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/05/27/morning-has-broken.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Choices","Road Trip"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/05/07/writing.html", "title": "Writing", "content_html": "\n\"“Have you ever given orders to the morning, or shown the dawn its place, that it might take the earth by the edges and shake the wicked out of it?\"
\nJob 38:12-13\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/06a3da36ab.jpg\")
I write every day. Sometimes I read what I write and it seems like someone else wrote it because I don't write that well. It's inspired from a higher source, I think. And sometimes I write and think to myself, \"This is gosh awful.\" And, I'll be SO tempted to go back and chuck it all and start over. I've only done that a handful of times. Usually I let it go and it speaks to someone and I remember my prayer. I always pray over every post. I ask God to bring me the words to say and the reader that needs to hear them. It doesn't really matter whether I like the writing or not. It's not FOR me.
\n\n\nLast night I struggled with what to write for today. I called a friend in Florida. He is a good sounding board and often gives me inspiration on topics to write about. Last night I was venting my frustration over which dishes to keep and which to let go. I have three full sets of dishes and a sweet luncheon set. One set is stoneware. It was something Mr. Virgo picked out and he gave them to me our last Christmas before he died. But I have no real emotional attachment to them. They're just dishes. He also gave me a set of Spode Christmas china. Nice, but still…totally impractical in a travel trailer. I love the little luncheon set. One of my dear friends gave it to me as a housewarming gift when I built my house in Colorado. They're cute but impractical.
\n\n\nThen there's the set of Royal Daulton china. We were buying a tablecloth when I walked up to Mr. Virgo standing in front of the china display. I absentmindedly told him I'd never had a set of china. My breath caught when I saw the pattern called Tennyson. So regal and strong. So sophisticated and delicate. I loved them at first sight. I received eight place settings my next birthday. I sat down on the floor and cried like a little girl because I'd never had anything so beautiful. I cannot get rid of them. Thank God I have friends here who have offered space in their basements or storage sheds to store things I just can't part with till I have more time to consider what I want to do with them.
\n\n\nWhich brings me to my point. I had prattled on and on about the dilemma of the dishes till I finally told my friend there wasn't anything I could do about it right at that moment anyway. It was time to start unwinding and get to sleep. I thanked him for listening. Sometimes that's all you need…someone to hear you. Someone to say, \"You're doing fine. Just keep moving forward.\"
\n\n\nWhat I have to write about is not always profound. It's not always some deep thought provoking essay. Sometimes it's just an ordinary problem like what to do with the dishes. And that's ok. Maybe one of you doesn't know what to do with your dishes and you might find inspiration. Maybe you're who I was meant to talk to today.
\n\n\n❤
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2015-05-07T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/05/07/writing.html", "tags": ["Comfort","Wisdom","Writing"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/05/04/the-journey.html", "title": "The Journey", "content_html": "\n\"But as for you, be strong and do not give up, for your work will be rewarded.”
\n2 Chronicles 15:7\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/d0742f9b55.jpg\")
I've been thinking about this journey I've been on over the last couple of years. It hasn't been a straight path by any stretch of the imagination. It's all wiggly squiggly and brings me forward then back then forward again. And along the way there are a number of doors and little secret passageways that offer distractions from the course at hand. Some are really inviting. Some are definitely marked \"Enter At Your Own Risk\". And each has a gift tucked somewhere inside. An experience. An opportunity. A lesson to be learned.
\n\n\nIt's a funny thing about the lessons of life. Sometimes we have to walk a road for a long time till we \"get it\". I've recently had a situation like that. I dutifully put on my rose-colored glasses and kept hiking. At first the path was really easy but it wasn't too long before I was scrambling up that mountain till I finally came to the end of the path and the only way out was to turn around. It's a humbling experience to admit things really weren't what they appeared. I wasn't necessarily wrong to take that particular path because I learned a lot about myself and human nature exploring that neck of the woods. Valuable lessons. We never stop learning who we are in the world.
\n\n\nIt's all a journey. We keep going down a path…until we don't. Then we head down another…and another. And at the end…we are there.
\n\n\n❤
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2015-05-04T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/05/04/the-journey.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Change","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/03/21/good-fences.html", "title": "Good Fences", "content_html": "\n\"People assault the flinty rock with their hands and lay bare the roots of the mountains. They tunnel through the rock; their eyes see all its treasures. They search the sources of the rivers and bring hidden things to light.\"
\nJob 28:9-11\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/45959786c9.jpg\")
The idiom \"Good fences make good neighbors.\" generally means it's easier to get along with your neighbor if you respect each other's property. I think there is a deeper meaning we can grasp here. I look at \"good fences\" as boundaries….something I haven't always been good at setting. Here I am…nearly 62 and I still am learning to set boundaries with people.
\n\n\nI was taught to \"be nice\" when I was growing up. I've made it a career. Apparently my parents knew nothing about boundaries either because the concept was totally foreign to me till after my second divorce. Somehow I got the message that setting boundaries isn't \"nice\" and if you DO set boundaries, people might not like you. And to the child of an alcoholic, that's a fate worse than death. I read self help books. I went to support groups. I had therapy. I prayed for enlightenment.
\n\n\nThings started changing for me when Mr. Virgo came along. He was my champion and celebrated my growth. He made me start to believe in myself. And once you start believing in yourself and gain self esteem, it's easier to set boundaries with people. That, and age, has left me fearless in most respects.
\n\n\nBoundaries are the good fences that will keep the good neighbors in your life and help you let go of the bad ones without worrying that someone \"won't like you\". Because it only matters that YOU like you. If you do, the ones who matter will too.
\n\n\n❤
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2015-03-21T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/03/21/good-fences.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Growth","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/03/17/fixing-myself.html", "title": "Fixing Myself", "content_html": "\n\"Do not let them live in your land or they will cause you to sin against me, because the worship of their gods will certainly be a snare to you.”
\nExodus 23:33\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/65bb373612.jpg\")
How many of you have been in a relationship where \"fixing\" was the primary focus? OMGosh! That is a NO WIN situation. My second marriage was all about fixing each other. He wasn't demonstrative. I tried to fix that and magically turn him into the huggy-kissy man I needed. I was needy, overweight, and depressed and he tried to fix that and turn back the hands of time. It was exhausting and fruitless. And it wasted about ten precious years of our lives. When Mr. Virgo came along, there was nothing to be fixed. We just fit. And we could rest in that. We were an oasis in a great big desert.
\n\n\nEven in our everyday lives, we are often tempted to try to fix a situation. I'm practicing with one of my friends. We've been working on her bathroom for the last few weeks. There are some things I have more experience with than she does, but I give input when asked and do my best to step back and be her cheerleader. She's the one who will grow with the sense of accomplishment. I don't have to jump in and try to steal her thunder. I was telling another friend the other day about being anxious about going to a crowded theater. The answer I got was refreshing. \"I can't fix that for you. But I can be your friend while you fix it.\" I think that response did more for me than anything. It acknowledged my feelings while setting a boundary with love and respect.
\n\n\nHow….healthy!
\n\n\n❤
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2015-03-17T01:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/03/17/fixing-myself.html", "tags": ["Health","Strong Women","Growth","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/02/28/lightening-the-load.html", "title": "Lightening the Load", "content_html": "\n\"“Do all that you have in mind,” his armor-bearer said. “Go ahead; I am with you heart and soul.”
\n1 Samuel 14:7\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/963240397e.jpg\")
I have spent a good portion of the last couple of days responding to some lovely comments here on The Ranch since my article was published. So many new readers have come to join us on this journey. One gentleman spoke of losing his lovely wife a few years ago. They had planned to sail up and down the eastern seaboard together in the boat of their dreams. When they found she was dying, they sold the boat. Then, a month before she passed, she picked out a new boat for him. One in which she knew he would be safe carrying out their life's dream. What really touched me was, when he has overwhelming feelings of grief, he sits in the back of the boat and watches the water go by, just as life does. I also find water comforting. I'm such a visual person. Water rushing by symbolizes cleansing, birth, hope, life. Water IS life. I can feel the strength pouring back into my soul now. In a little less than two weeks will be Mr. Virgo's second Angelversary. I'm trying it on, like last year's sweater, to see how it fits. I'll let you know.
\n\n\nOne of the recurring themes in the posts the last couple of days is downsizing. The Boomers are retiring. We have enjoyed a level of affluence not available to most people in the generations before us. Our parents were born in, or shortly after, the Great Depression. Our grandparents taught them to keep everything because you did not know when it would be useful. So they clung to possessions, not just for sentiment, but out of fear of doing without. Fear ingrains behaviors like nothing else. Is it any wonder then that we live in houses stuffed to the rafters with everything imaginable?
\n\n\nMr. Virgo came to me with literally not much more than a suitcase, a set of pots and pans, and a dog. He drove a beat up old Buick. He lived a simple lifestyle, intentionally. And, God rest his soul, he tried to get me to simplify mine. But I'm a Gemini! I NEED all my stuff! I'm an artist. I NEED all those supplies in all those genres because I don't know which one of me is going to show up in the studio! Will it be the pastel artist or the quilter, the soft doll sculptor or the smocker, the cross stitcher or the jeweler? It's crowded inside my head!
\n\n\nI resisted purging like the plague. I could think of a million things I would much rather do. But, let me tell you, I'm sorry I didn't do it when I had a partner to help me because doing it alone is brutal. I suggest you have that conversation with your significant other. With your children. What would they want your life to look like without them? What items would they want as an inheritance? Give it to them now. Let go of things. They're just things. They are anchors around your neck and they will drown you and rob you of freedom and peace.
\n\n\nLet's take a pledge. Tomorrow is a brand new month. We're heading into spring. Let's make a pledge to get rid of \"one a day\". One bag, one box…heck, one THING…every day for a month. In a month, you will have lost, at the very least, 31 items. Maybe even 31 BAGS or BOXES! Your life can look a whole lot different in one month. Go to the store today and buy a box of heavy duty trash bags and leave them someplace where you will stumble over them every day. We can DO this!
\n\n\n❤
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2015-02-28T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/02/28/lightening-the-load.html", "tags": ["Gratitude","Wisdom","Courage","Downsizing","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/02/21/im-tough-but.html", "title": "I'm Tough, But...", "content_html": "\n\"Lift up your eyes and look around; all your children gather and come to you. As surely as I live,” declares the Lord, “you will wear them all as ornaments; you will put them on, like a bride.\"
\nIsaiah 49:18\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/833710d4ee.jpg\")
Ok, I'm tough. I think you all know that about me by now. But, when I went in the fridge yesterday morning and all my frozen food was thawed out and I couldn't get my feet warm and I realized I haven't had a bubble bath or shaved my legs since Christmas and we're expecting 5-8\" of heavy wet snow rain sleet vermin frogs…whatever…I gave up for the weekend. I talked the lovely front desk clerk at the hotel of choice into a reasonable rate, packed my little suitcase, gathered my reading and writing materials, and headed for town. I've already had the first of what I am predicting are several hot baths, I feel semi-human, and I'm going to nap and write to my hearts' content. Thank you, God…for MasterCard and lavender bubble bath. Take THAT, Winter…you're not the boss of me!
\n\n\n❤
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2015-02-21T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/02/21/im-tough-but.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Wisdom","Peaceful Moments","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/02/14/happy-valentines-day.html", "title": "Happy Valentine's Day!", "content_html": "\n“As long as the earth endures, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night will never cease.”
\nGenesis 8:22\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/2dcb1be705.jpg\")
My great grandfather used to say, \"It'll stop hurting when the pain goes away.\" I never quite got the deeper meaning of those words till yesterday. I woke up feeling more peaceful than I have since Mr. Virgo died. It was remarkable. I couldn't put my finger on anything specific…I just felt lighthearted, like I could take on the world. The sun broke the horizon and made the frost on the windows glow a lovely golden yellow. It was 4 degrees outside but inside, my world was warm and beautiful and calm. I just laid there and enjoyed that feeling and was ever so grateful.
\n\n\nI'm heading for the two year mark now. Some of you have been following along from the beginning. If you are new, I lost my beloved Mr. Virgo in March 2013. We were buying a camper and he had a heart attack and died. I went ahead and bought one and started this journey. We've had lots of ups and downs, you and me. We'll have more. But today is a day to share the love and tell those who are important to you that you care.
\n\n\nYou all have been important to me…and, I care about you. I've gotten to know some of you personally. I recognize your names and look forward to hearing from you. We offer support and prayers for each other when they're needed. We encourage each other when the going gets tough and we applaud each other when we accomplish our goals. I am so proud of this page and of all you brave souls. I love y'all…more than biscuits and gravy! I hope you have a good day.
\n\n\n❤
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2015-02-14T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/02/14/happy-valentines-day.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Growth","Gratitude","Holiday","Wisdom","Courage","Change","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/02/06/a-simple-life.html", "title": "A Simple Life", "content_html": "\n\"And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.\"
\nColossians 3:14 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/fb7cf4becd.jpg\")
I don't remember ever thinking of my grandparents as anything but old. My mom and dad were pretty old, my grandparents were really old, and my great grandparents were ancient. I wonder if my grandkids see me the same way? I'm pretty active and I take the girls camping. We go fishing. We go shopping. But, if I wear something that doesn't suit The Fashionista, she has been known to walk way ahead of me and pretend I'm visiting from out of town…which, of course, I am.
\n\n\nMy maternal grandparents were who I wanted to model a marriage after. My mom said she never saw them argue. The closest thing I ever heard from her was long after Pop-Pop died. I asked her if he had helped around the house and she snorted and said, \"Mart didn't even know how to fry an egg!\" They worked hard. There were many mouths to feed and it was during the Depression. If it weren't for their old dairy cow, they would have starved.
\n\n\nOne of my favorite memories was evenings when Pop-Pop would stretch out on the couch to watch the news. Grandma would pull a straight back chair over beside him so she could hold his hand. I always wanted that. I finally had it with Mr. Virgo but it was gone all too soon. I found this picture while scanning the family archives. Pop-Pop died in 1971. Grandma in '99. I still miss them. I'm older than they were in this picture. Where on earth did the time go?
\n\n\n❤
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2015-02-06T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/02/06/a-simple-life.html", "tags": ["Wisdom","Aging","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/02/05/premonition.html", "title": "Premonition", "content_html": "\n\"I was young and now I am old…\"
\nPsalm 37:25 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/b22b0aee63.jpg\")
For years, I have had a recurring nightmare. It's always the same. It's about a seven second movie of a plane taking off over a city. It's flying low, banks hard to the left, hits something with its wing and crashes into water. Over and over…same thing. No info. No location. No date. Just the seven second video. The first time I had the dream it scared the bejeebers out of me. Over the years it's become a matter of course. When I turned on the news on my iPad, the video of yesterday's plane crash played out before me and before I saw more than one second of it, I knew this was the one. This was the one I have seen over and over. It was such an eerie feeling.
\n\n\nLast night I was talking to a friend of mine. She told me she had such an odd dream the night before. She dreamt a plane crashed in the water and she and her daughter tried to get to the survivors in a boat but it wouldn't start. Then she saw the news and it freaked her out. I can understand that. Premonitions are not necessarily acknowledged in the Bible except as delivered by prophets. Modern psychiatry has all kinds of names to label a person who claims to \"see things\". But for those to whom it occurs, there is no doubt as to the validity of the visions. They are real.
\n\n\nI had visions, premonitions if you will, for about a week before Mr. Virgo died. Three times I was awakened from a deep sleep, sat bolt upright in bed…breathing hard, heart pounding. I knew, KNEW I was going to reach to my right and find my husband cold and still. It didn't happen though. He was breathing the even, shallow breath of sleep. The day before he died, I walked by as he napped on the couch. His mouth was gaped open and a voice in my head calmly said…\"This is how he'll look when he's dead.\" I stopped in my tracks. Who WAS that? Where did it come from? The day Mr. Virgo died, we were driving to the RV dealer to pick out our travel trailer. He always wore a watch. He SLEPT in his watch. We were holding hands. He picked up my hand, looked at his bare wrist and said, \"Hmmmm…I forgot to wear my watch today.\" And that same voice in my head calmly said, \"He's going to die today.\" Where on earth did THAT come from? I have no idea, but it was very real…and he was gone three hours later.
\n\n\nPremonitions. Visions. Dreams. I don't know for sure…but I think God speaks to us in a million different ways. If we can just be still and listen, we can learn so much.
\n\n\n❤
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2015-02-05T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/02/05/premonition.html", "tags": ["Faith","New Ideas","God","Wisdom","Warning","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/01/19/a-message-from-god.html", "title": "A Message From God", "content_html": "\n\"For God does speak—now one way, now another— though no one perceives it. In a dream, in a vision of the night, when deep sleep falls on people as they slumber in their beds, he may speak in their ears and terrify them with warnings, to turn them from wrongdoing and keep them from pride, to preserve them from the pit, their lives from perishing by the sword.\"
\nJob 33:14-18 NIV\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/dd86a7db71.jpg\")
I was sitting in church yesterday morning, coffee in hand, reading the bulletin. I came across an item asking for people to give a 3-5 minute testimony during the halftimes of an all day basketball tournament at the local Christian school. Now, lately I have been feeling a call to speak, as evidenced by our recent talk about Victorian salons. But there's no way I could EVER talk for just 3-5 minutes about ANYTHING! No, this feeling was coming on strong in just the first few minutes of church and it had a deeper dynamic to it I couldn't quite put my finger on. The sermon was wonderful. The subject was being grateful for the Blessings we are given. Being BOLDLY grateful…out loud. To give credit where credit is due. To thank God openly.
\n\n\nI have always been mindful in my writing that, even though I consider it to be faith based, I don't want to come across as \"preachy\" since that was a major turn-off for me growing up. If I were to influence someone, I would prefer it be through example. More to the point, I just didn't want to offend anyone who does not share my beliefs or make them feel I am in any way judgmental if you don't… because I certainly am not. But that takes me back to the ten lepers…only one of whom came back to properly thank God for curing his leprosy. It was through being grateful, and expressing it, that he was healed.
\n\n\nMany of you have told me, if I attached a scripture to my writings, it would be your daily devotional. The message I kept getting in church yesterday was \"Tell them. Tell them who gives you all your Blessings. Give them a verse…just a verse. You don't have to \"preach\"…just give your readers a verse that you read that offered you comfort or insight. Just tell them!\" This voice was getting pretty insistent, ok? And right then, my phone vibrated. It was sitting face up in my purse and I instinctively glanced down. It was a message from a friend and I knew he was in church at the time. What on earth could he be sending me during church? It was SO unlike him.
\n\n\n\"You cannot run from God's love.\"
\n\n\nWhoa! Six words. Right there on the iPhone screen. A text from God…via a friend in Florida. Now, if I wear my underwear outside my clothes in Walmart and walk around talking to myself and tell you God speaks to me through my television set…THAT'S crazy. But when you're sitting in church contemplating whether you should talk about God more in your blog, and your friend suddenly feels compelled to pick up his phone and text you something that just \"popped in his head\"…THAT'S a message one cannot ignore. So, here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to start adding a scripture at the bottom of each post. Something that supports or illustrates the subject. I'm not going to be quite so afraid to share with you when God moves me to. I'm not going to tap dance and pretend to be anything I am not. I'm NOT going to preach at you. I'll understand if it's not your cup of tea and you want to bail on me…no hard feelings. I love all of you…no matter what. It's just something I feel I need to do…for me…for God. Because, He has Blessed me way above and beyond anything I deserve. Truly. It is my time to speak.
\n\n\n❤
\n\n\n\n\n\n", "date_published": "2015-01-19T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/01/19/a-message-from-god.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Positive Energy","New Ideas","God","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/01/18/a-dream-of-hope.html", "title": "A Dream of Hope", "content_html": "\nA time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
\nEcclesiastes 3:7\n
![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/030ef64740.jpg\")
I slept at least 30 out of 36 hours during my bout with the stomach virus from you-know-where. I woke up for the umpteenth time yesterday at noon and remembered the dream I'd just had. I used to remember my dreams…always. But since losing Mr. Virgo, I'd say I have remembered less than a hand full. Not sure why that is. But this dream was wonderful and I wanted to share it with you.
\n\n\nIt was only my second dream of Mr. Virgo since he died. He had been away working all this time and I decided to go visit him at his new job. I got there and he was dressed in a nice brown suit. He took me in his office where he had been sorting papers. A woman came in and he handed her a stack to be shredded. He hugged me and told me he missed me so much and he was so glad I came. Before I could say anything, I noticed a huge yellow butterfly on the lamp behind him. I pointed and he turned to look. Now, I never ever saw Mr. Virgo cry, but he put his chin down and wept in what I felt was joy. I felt there was someone in the room with us and I turned to my right and it was the same guardian angel that I saw when I had my EMDR treatment for PTSD. When I looked back, I saw that I was looking through a window at Mr. Virgo in Heaven. It was amazing.
\n\n\nI shared this with my cousin. She said perhaps the shredding of the papers is a sign of getting rid of the clutter and unwanted grief junk in my life. And the butterfly is a sign of new life, new beginnings. When you are sick, you are particularly vulnerable to the shards of grief cutting into you. It's far too easy to slip down that slope of sadness till you find yourself mired in the muck.
\n\n\nI woke from the dream and laid there…listening to my heart. I felt Mr. Virgo whisper, \"Come on, baby doll. Get up. You'll feel a whole lot better after a shower and some breakfast.\" And, he was right, of course. I walked around the neighborhood and checked out some of the little shops. I stopped at the cute little soda fountain and had a grilled cheese and a Coke. And I felt much better. So much better.
\n\n\n❤
\n\n", "date_published": "2015-01-18T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/01/18/a-dream-of-hope.html", "tags": ["Comfort","Wisdom","Choices","Change","Be Joyful!","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/01/15/just-say-no.html", "title": "Just Say No", "content_html": "\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/b8cf334415.jpg\")
I'm learning. I'm being given repeated opportunities to practice kindness and patience. It's as though God said, \"Honey…you weren't paying attention in class when you should have learned this so I'm just going to keep bashing your head against this door till you get it, ok?\" Uh, yeah…sure.
\n\n\nI had another unfortunate conversation with my aunt today. Only this time, I felt bad for a MUCH shorter period of time. Why? Because, I realized this vitriol she fires in my direction at every opportunity has nothing at all to do with me and everything to do with HER! I realized I cannot get attacked if I do not engage in battle. She can poke and prod and pinch and hurt as often as she wants to. I'll just put on my armor and walk on through.
\n\n\nJust say no…to drama. To snotty backlashes. To bullying. And don't stand there and take blow after blow. Stand up and say \"No. You cannot treat me this way.\" And leave. I know it's easier said than done. But you'll feel so much better afterwards if you stand up for…YOU!
\n\n\n❤
\n\n", "date_published": "2015-01-15T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/01/15/just-say-no.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Growth","Wisdom","Anger","Aging","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/01/12/time-of-reflection.html", "title": "Time of Reflection", "content_html": "\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/8656f79e02.jpg\")
I love Sunday. I get to go to Church. I didn't always go. As a matter of fact, I was a good Jewish wife and mother for 27 years. I was frightened out of believing when I was a very young child. I followed the \"Church of Ginny\" for a number of years until I had a roommate who was Jewish. I started following the holidays and traditions because I loved the sense of family it gave me. I loved God. But I had a fear of Jesus after that scary preacher yelled at me and told me I was going to go to hell. I was six. So, with Judaism, I could have a relationship with God and leave it at that.
\n\n\nI met and married a nice Jewish man. We had a nice Jewish house and celebrated all the Jewish holidays. But there was something missing. I had an emptiness inside that I couldn't fill with anything…no matter how hard I tried. Finally, five years after my divorce from this still nice Jewish man…I found Jesus. And my world literally was recreated. I was recreated. I changed instantly. I found my happy place.
\n\n\nI've been Church hunting since I came to West Virginia. I have attended the church of my youth…my grandparent's little country church. I visited a Baptist church with a praise team which was decidedly more contemporary than anything else around here but still pretty tame compared to the throw-your-hands-up-in-the-air kind of worship I have become accustomed to in the churches I attend in Colorado. I visited a lovely Methodist church with friends and saw some classmates there. And the past two Sundays, I attended services at a beautiful Methodist church in the historic district. My mom's cousin is the associate Pastor there and she invited me to come hear her sermon.
\n\n\nYesterday was the Sunday celebrating the Baptism of Christ. Having grown up in a little country church and after attending contemporary churches, I felt a bit like a fish out of water. There are more rituals in the Methodist church than I remember. It was a lovely service, however. I sat and smiled as I watched and listened to my cousin speak about the \"Something More\" we are always seeking. I smiled because I remember her as a very young mother attending the little white church on the hill and now here she was in black robes, standing in the pulpit, delivering a sermon in a big stone church with stained glass windows. We both had humble beginnings. We both are widows. We share genes. We share a love for God.
\n\n\nToward the end of the service, we were invited to come forward to the baptismal font to have the sign of the cross placed on our foreheads with water from the Jordan River, the river in which Jesus was baptized by his cousin John. My cousin, Sue, did the honors. It was a lovely experience for me. I knelt before the pulpit for a bit…without thought of what I would say to God. Instead of many words, I merely felt the warmth of the moment…smiled…and whispered \"Thank You.\" Sometimes just that is the greatest of prayers.
\n\n\n❤
\n\n\nPainting is entitled \"Baptism of the Lord\" by Guido Reni
\n\n", "date_published": "2015-01-12T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/01/12/time-of-reflection.html", "tags": ["Faith","Uplifting Stories","Prayer","Grace","God","Peace","Wisdom","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/01/07/minutiae.html", "title": "Minutiae", "content_html": "\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/12398ad767.jpg\")
I consider myself to be fairly technologically savvy. I'm a gear head…I love all the latest gadgets and gizmos. Mr. Virgo used to roll his eyes at me with my laptop, iPad, iPhone, landline phone and sometimes all the remotes. Now I also have a FitBit, an external hard drive, and a photo scanner. I sat down two days ago to get things set up to scan photos and it's been one thing after another. I had to download updates and install the external hard drive, iTunes and the Cloud on the new laptop. Now I'm trying to figure out how to get my pictures off my iPhone without them coming back down from the cloud. A friend of mine told me how to get them off the phone so I'll try that today. I need to back up both the iPad and the iPhone then back everything up to the external hard drive. THEN I can install the new scanner and start scanning the photos. I love techie stuff, but I kept getting interrupted and distracted so it has taken me two days and I'm still not done. One of the biggest distractions is musing about what I'm going to do once the two months of house sitting is done. March might be a little early to pack up the camper and head out on a road trip. I have friends in Belize who have been after me for years to come down for a visit so that's a possibility. I also have a sister-friend in Florida that I could go see but I would want to tote TOW-Wanda if I go there. These are things that sit in the back of my mind when I'm working on something else. I can't just turn it off and focus on one thing.
\n\n\nI want to treat every day like it's the last day and do those things that bring me joy. This busy work is the minutiae that drives me batty but it needs to be done and out of the way so the paper pictures can find their way to someone else's home. Next is getting rid of all the extra stuff I came here with. Several months ago, when I was starting the downsize project, I weeded and donated and sold and threw away and I would actually open sealed boxes and get rid of even more stuff. Now that I have paid yet another person to move what I thought I could not live without, it has been sitting in the upstairs of the cellar house and it feels like another weight around my neck. There is stuff up there that was absolutely ridiculous to bring. So, scanning photos and sorting boxes. If I can get that done in the two months I have here while house sitting, I can reward myself with an adventure in March. Now…where shall I go? ?
\n\n\n❤
\n\n", "date_published": "2015-01-07T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/01/07/minutiae.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","New Ideas","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2015/01/02/hibernation.html", "title": "Hibernation", "content_html": "\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/b9588d14bf.jpg\")
When my older daughter was about six or seven, we were sitting on the couch watching a PBS special. (Just ask her…Channel 6 is all she was ever allowed to watch. We were SO mean!) At one point, she sighed and laid her head on my shoulder.
\n\n\n\"Mama?\"
\n\n\n\"Yes, babe?\"
\n\n\n\"When I die, I want to come back as a bear.\"
\n\n\n\"Really. Why is that?\"
\n\n\n\"So I can hyperventilate all winter.\"
\n\n\nThe child of medical parents who made her watch PBS nature shows. Poor kid.
\n\n\nThere's something to be said for hibernating, though. I spent a good deal of time on the phone yesterday with various friends. Every single one of them was searching for something…some sort of comfort…some form of peace. Quiet. Stillness. This was the major theme. I totally get that. I went to get a coffee yesterday morning, stopped at the store, emptied out my truck, watched the parade, did some laundry, and communed with my like-minded, ready-to-hibernate comrades. I was right there with them.
\n\n\nWhat brings us to this place where we crave the cave? Part of it, of course, is the long dark nights. And we are coming down off the frenzied sugar high of the holidays. We need to retreat…be still…listen to our hearts. Whether you're rescuing yourself from a week of guests like a friend of mine, or feeling the stress of too many obligations and too many funerals like my friend Denise, or reeling from the death of your mother like my friend Debbie, or escaping from an emotional bruising like me…we're all the same. We just want to be left alone to lick our wounds and refill our well.
\n\n\nI received a private message from one of my readers yesterday. He was confused. He didn't understand what was happening with me because I was here to help my aunt and the next thing he knew, I was off on a different course. He wondered if he missed something and if I was ok. It made me realize not all of you get to see every post and some might think I didn't take this situation with my aunt seriously or that I'm flighty. While there are certainly areas of my life beyond the scope of this page, there aren't many and I've been up front and open with you about everything else…so here goes.
\n\n\nI've spent a great deal of time the last few weeks praying and meditating on what changed about the dynamic between my aunt and me. We are about as different as two people can possibly be. While she is very bright, somewhat worldly, and well read, she is extremely narrow in her views and uncompromising in her beliefs. I am a liberal, free-spirited social butterfly. She is 83…she believes in saying exactly what comes into her mind, without filter, and without regard for the effect her words may have on the recipient. I am 61…I believe in diplomacy and the rule my grandma taught me - \"If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.\" She is also angry. She is losing her independence and knows it. I am healthy and free, active and young. At least youngER. I was the closest thing available for my aunt to lash out at. I get that. I understand it from a medical and intellectual standpoint. That doesn't make it sting any less, but I certainly get where she's coming from. The problem came when she made it personal. When she started making calculated attacks, then retreating with sweetness only to attack again when I got close enough, it started making me question what was going on. I don't want to believe she would actually be mean…on purpose. But none of that matters in the grand scheme of things. Because if she doesn't respect me…if she doesn't trust my judgement or my expertise…a caregiving relationship cannot be established. Nothing will ever be right…nothing will ever be satisfactory. And, as it turns out, I am not who she wants in that capacity and that's ok. This is, after all, her life…her home…her future. The sad thing is, I doubt there's anyone else she WOULD want. I know there is no one else available. I was the only one, short of hiring someone, that can keep her out of a nursing home. I felt it was the best thing, for all parties involved, to bow out gracefully and let she and her brother figure out a solution that will be more amenable to her. I also wanted to do this in such a way that would not break whatever tenuous connection we still have. After talking with her yesterday, I think we may have accomplished that. I hope so, because I do love her and only want what's best for everyone involved.
\n\n\nRelationships are a lot of work. I knew coming into this that it might not work out, but I held high hopes. The most wonderful lesson I have learned from this situation is…I can trust my gut instincts AND I can control my mouth and not go down a destructive path just to prove a point. So, now I can hibernate a little bit myself, fill my well, and come out swinging again. We all need a little down time. You should never feel bad about taking yours.
\n\n\n❤
\n\n", "date_published": "2015-01-02T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2015/01/02/hibernation.html", "tags": ["Family","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Growth","Peace","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Courage","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/12/31/resolutions.html", "title": "Resolutions", "content_html": "\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/ef16b57dec.jpg\")
I don't like resolutions. They represent change and, as a widow, I've had just about all of that I can stomach, thank you very kindly. \"The only thing in life you CAN count on is change.\" \"Change is good.\" \"If you don't change, the view will remain the same.\" Trite platitudes, at best. Besides that, how do I know what I'm going to want to be doing in August? I don't know what I want to do TOMORROW let alone set myself up for the inevitable failure of another ill conceived resolution. I prefer to choose a word to focus on instead of resolving to change even more things in my life.
\n\n\nLosing Mr. Virgo was the tip of the iceberg. The trickle-down theory of grief fallout is the gift that won't stop giving…like a tub overflowing on the second floor and you can't pull the plug or stop the flow of water. Surprise! Your life will change in ways you never could have imagined. Bam! Smack! Splash!
\n\n\nI made a huge leap of faith this year. I sold my house. I sold or gave away practically everything I owned. I left my family and friends to come home to care for my aunt. And totally secondary to that, I came home to say goodbye to the family farm. I had it pictured. Awesome antiques. A great garden. Chickens. Rain on the tin roof. Idyllic. Iconic. A fairy tale life. Then…change.
\n\n\nThe thing is, I had expectations. I had a script. I had a plan. I just assumed God had the same thing in mind for me. This change, while unpleasant, is not necessarily a bad thing. If my storybook scenario would have played out exactly as I had it in my mind, then the final goodbye to this farm would have been devastating. It would have left me bereft, yearning for something I am not destined to have in the long run. As it turns out, the reality of the situation has allowed me to view the farm (and my aunt, as it turns out) from a practical, realistic vantage point and not through the rose colored lens of nostalgia. I can see the warts, so to speak. This is not a bad thing. The timetable just got moved up, that's all. Change. It's slippery. Sneaky. It can take away so much, so fast. But it can also give such beautiful gifts if you don't cower in fear. If you face the winds of change head on, the fog gets blown away and you can see so much further.
\n\n\nSo here's my word for 2015.
\n\n\nGrace…an attribute of God. \"The love and mercy given to us by God because God desires us to have it, not because of anything we have done to earn it.\" I resolve to face the coming year, with all of its changes, all of its challenges, all of its surprises with grace.
\n\n\nGrace. I love that.
\n\n\nThank you for all your posts and excellent insights you've shared this year. Everyone benefits when you post, share, and interact with each other. You are all incredibly brave and strong and beautiful. Thank you so much for traveling along with me. Your love and support have helped me more than you will ever know! May each of you face the changes of the upcoming year with grace…in good health and prosperity.
\n\n\nHappy New Year!
\n\n\nGinny
\n\n\n❤
\n\n", "date_published": "2014-12-31T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/12/31/resolutions.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","The Farm","Growth","Grace","Wisdom","Courage","Choices","Change","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/12/30/born-to-sparkle.html", "title": "Born to Sparkle!", "content_html": "\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/320319e858.jpg\")
Do you ever look at your little girl pictures and wonder where your sparkle went? It takes a lot to dull my shine, but lately…I just haven't been feeling it. Then I came across this picture in my archives. Just look at this little girl! She's got her nekkid baby doll, a pretty dress with shiny party shoes, and she's at her grandma's house. What else IS there to life? She hasn't been molested or abused. She hasn't seen her parents fight. She hasn't dated or married or divorced. She hasn't had babies. She hasn't worried about how to pay the bills. She hasn't sat on the edge of the bed at 2am waiting to see the headlights signaling her daughter's safe return home. She hasn't comforted her bullied child. She hasn't held her grandchildren. She hasn't lost her mom. She hasn't met the love of her life. She hasn't lost him. She hasn't known grief.
\n\n\nShe hasn't known grief. But she will. She'll have trouble breathing. She'll step on that rake in the grass all too often. She'll feel the grief rise and fall in her chest like the tide. She'll reel with the pain and she'll learn how to take it. She'll vow never to hurt again, but she will. She'll vow never to love again, but she will. She'll think she can never sparkle again…but she will.
\n\n\nShe will.
\n\n\nBecause…look at this little girl.
\n\n\nShe was BORN…TO…SPARKLE!
\n\n\n❤
\n\n", "date_published": "2014-12-30T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/12/30/born-to-sparkle.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Strong Women","Positive Energy","The Farm","Growth","Gratitude","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Courage","Aging","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/12/17/poignant.html", "title": "Poignant", "content_html": "\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/fd0f16d27d.jpg\")
The holidays are rich with traditions and memories. When we have suffered a loss, the first major holiday is the worst. My friend and I were discussing this over dinner last night. They lost her father-in-law in September. She had tried to explain to her husband what this loss would feel like and he \"understood\". He totally \"got\" that it was going to be painful but \"at least he wasn't going to suffer anymore\". Then his dad died. And he was at a total loss. He couldn't understand why seeing candy corn at Halloween reduced him to tears in the grocery store.
\n\n\nThe thing is, unless you have experienced it personally, there really isn't any way you can honestly know what it's like to lose someone you love. And, each loss is different. It has always been my fervent hope that my writing can somehow prepare you for what comes after loss…even if it's just to understand that you're not alone, your grief is the worst grief, you are loved, and you will get through it.
\n\n\nI was listening to music on my iPad as I flew yesterday. I called on Mr. Virgo and asked him to come sit with me for awhile. I searched my phone photos for those great pictures I have of him. I didn't feel sad, per se. I let him wash over me and felt his energy surround me in a cosmic embrace. My 7 year old grand daughter snuggled in bed with me Saturday morning and we talked about God and what happens to us when we die. She told me not to worry…that when we die it's just our bodies that leave. WE'RE still here. She told me Papa Dan is always with us, all around us, and she has seen him. I love that. Why do we beat that out of kids? They are so much closer to God than we are. They see the source. I try to keep that alive in myself and encourage it in others.
\n\n\n❤
\n\n", "date_published": "2014-12-17T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/12/17/poignant.html", "tags": ["Grief","Wisdom","Aging","Change","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/12/08/the-great-hangup.html", "title": "The Great Hangup", "content_html": "\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/c52701780b.jpg\")
Sitting in Starbucks yesterday morning, I had the opportunity to people-watch for awhile. I saw something disturbing. Horrifying, really. An entire family of eight came in, placed their orders, pushed a couple of tables together so they could sit together and share this early December Saturday morning bonding over coffee. Then they sat down…and immediately got out their smart phones. They disconnected…checked out…each retreating into their own worlds. It was a devastating reminder of the deterioration of interpersonal connection we experience daily anymore. I was just as guilty…sitting there writing this post as my youngest grandchild improved her vocabulary with a game on her iPod. I have begun to have electronic free visits with my grandkids. Insisting the distracting little buggers stay in our pockets. And we talk. To each other. With each other. We practice making eye contact. We connect.
\n\n\nWhen Mr. Virgo was alive, he spent an inordinate amount of time glued to the TV. Same thing…bigger instrument. I didn't like TV so I would sometimes have my cell, iPod, iPad, and laptop going. While we did have a deep connection, we were really just disconnected along side each other. Are we avoiding something? Feelings? Discontentment? What is happening to us as a society as we continue to draw further and further apart? If what is happening in the world is any indication, we barely resemble the humans we were before technology turned us into avatars on a tiny screen. Where we can hide and not have to get messy with emotions. This is disturbing and if it's not…that's even MORE disturbing.
\n\n\nI have a proposition. Let's put it down over the holidays. Let's disconnect…not from others, but from these devices that are sucking the life and color out of our world. Let's put a basket on the table in the hallway at every gathering and leave it all there…phones, tablets, iPods, headphones, earbuds. And let's commit to feeling the love! Let's just hang it up for awhile.
\n\n\n❤
\n\n", "date_published": "2014-12-08T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/12/08/the-great-hangup.html", "tags": ["Family","Wisdom","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/12/02/expectations.html", "title": "Expectations", "content_html": "\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/a4b750bc0f.jpg\")
I love \"A-Ha!\" Moments. That brilliant stroke of insight that comes when you set aside your ego investment and focus the microscope on your teeny tiny little mammalian brain. The rush of clarity knocks your socks off. Whenever I find myself sorely disappointed in something or someone, I have to sit back and ask myself, \"What was my expectation here?\" \"Was it realistic?\" \"What was my motive?\" \"What part did I play in the disappointing outcome?\" \"What could I have done differently?\" I have to be honest in this conversation. We are so quick to place the blame for our disappointments at the feet of someone else…to become the victim.
\n\n\nMost of the time, our expectations are never verbalized. I don't know about you, but I have a tendency to picture exactly how a situation is going to play out. I envision entire conversations and base my reality on the preconceived outcome. It's very seldom that life mimics the interior screenplay that I've concocted.
\n\n\nIf I am brutally honest with myself (and you good people), when I projected my re-entry to WV, I envisioned something akin to a cross between The Waltons and a live rendition of Mother Earth News from 1968. I expected long stretches of time to read, write, and follow intellectual as well as artistic pursuits. I created scenarios. Imagine my disappointment when my aunt forgot her lines and ad-libbed from her own script! Expectations are the sand traps in the fairways of life.
\n\n\nMy \"A-Ha!\" moment came today when I realized my aunt and I don't really KNOW each other. We are 21 years apart. She was finished with college and teaching when I came along. She was living in another state. Up till 1990, we had only seen each other a handful of times. After that, we saw each other once a year when I came home to visit. We had never had long conversations like we have since I've been here. We were driving home from our shopping trip to town yesterday and I was talking about my dad. My aunt had no idea my dad was an alcoholic. That just stunned me. I thought everyone in the family knew that. I cannot expect my aunt to understand where I'm coming from when she doesn't know me. And vise versa. This allows me to replace expectations with hope. That sets everyone free and increases the happiness quotient.
\n\n\n❤
\n\n", "date_published": "2014-12-02T02:30:00-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/12/02/expectations.html", "tags": ["Overcoming Obstacles","Wisdom","Change","Widow"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/11/30/changing-feet.html", "title": "Changing Feet", "content_html": "\n![\"\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/095a49536c.jpg\")
I only open my mouth to change feet. Ever feel that way? A dozen words. Spoken while tired. Spoken without thinking. Spoken while grieving. They caused some hurt feelings which in turn caused a lashing out which caused my feelings to be hurt as well.
\n\n\nI have been so occupied with making this move, getting settled in, and getting the house ready for winter. I guess I wasn't being as in tuned to my aunt as I should have been. Bless her heart. She has had this place all to herself for the last six years. I have tried to be sensitive to that, but I will have to try harder. This cannot be easy for her. To feel like you're losing control. And we are both very strong willed, independent women. We are bound to butt heads on occasion.
\n\n\nBack up. Adjust. Move forward. Back up. Adjust. Move forward. This is life. It's like turning a camper around in a really tight place. You have to figure in the space, the length of the object, and go a little bit at a time. Oh, that is not an easy thing to do for my full-steam-ahead self! Patience. Breathe. Let go.
\n\n\nOn the plus side, I did find a stove with a pilot light today. They are as hard as hen's teeth to find! I finally found one by Hotpoint that I had to order from Lowe's. The electric goes out here on the farm so frequently, we really needed a stove with a pilot light. Eureka! <3
\n\n", "date_published": "2014-11-30T14:09:58-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/11/30/changing-feet.html", "tags": ["Wisdom","Anger","Aging","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/10/13/were-off-to-see-the.html", "title": "We're off to see the Wizard!", "content_html": "![\"tornado](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/6940512498.jpg\")
“Tornado!”
There’s not much that scares me, but a tornado in the dark is one of them. I know it’s probably overkill, but I decided rather than sit up all night peering out the windows of a rocking tin can, I would get a nice cushy hotel room and take a bubble bath. Much better plan!
\n", "date_published": "2014-10-13T01:30:19-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/10/13/were-off-to-see-the.html", "tags": ["Travel","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","goRVing","Wisdom","Fear","Courage","Warning","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/09/04/wifi.html", "title": "WiFi", "content_html": "![\"wifi](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/ed49f3e057.jpg\")
“No WiFi”
What did we do without it? How on earth did we raise our kids when they didn’t have a cell phone permanently glued to their heads? And selfies? Are you kidding me? Ok, I’m 61 and I’m all about the technology. I’ve been a techie since 1984 when I saw my first “home computer”…a funny box with a glowing green screen that wasn’t much more than a glorified typewriter. We got our first computer with the 5" floppy disks in 1986. OMGosh! You could play Pong on it!!! lol
\nSeriously though, Einstein said when technology replaced human interaction we would have a generation of idiots. But what can we do? You can’t put smoke back in a bottle. Everywhere you go you see people staring at electronic devices as if they have found the Holy Grail. It worries me. I’m just as guilty. I find myself reaching for my iPhone so often. It’s an amazing tool. But it’s also an amazing time killer. I suppose the first step is to admit you have a problem. I really do try to cut back. I complained about Mr. Virgo’s attachment to the TV. I’m just as bad with the internet.
\nI’m heading out for a weekend of fun with Sisters on the Fly this week! Can’t wait to spend some time with the girls. :-)
\nI sold more furniture yesterday. I just LOVE that it’s going to people I care about. I know they will love my treasures as much as I have. I bought a cargo carrier for the roof of the Ford yesterday. Used but in great condition…my kind of deal! I didn’t get much done in the garage but I did get the car all cleaned out and I’m taking a bunch of stuff over to the kids today so I got that all loaded. I visited with my mom/friend and ran errands. I started planning a combo birthday/going away party. I took a power nap. I went to a concert at a local church. Busy, busy days.
\nI’ve decided my winter project, aside from writing, will be to scan all these photos onto my external hard drive then make CDs for everyone. I’ll give the hard copy photos to whoever wants them after. They say the sign of a writer is planning your next book before the ink’s dry on the last one. I’m already writing the next one and have two others on the drawing board. A huge benefit of living on the farm is the time to think and write. It’s peaceful there and I’m really looking forward to that.
\nHave a fabulous day, my sweets! <3
\n", "date_published": "2014-09-04T01:30:59-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/09/04/wifi.html", "tags": ["Family","Overcoming Obstacles","Growth","Wisdom","Choices"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/08/11/anchors.html", "title": "Anchors", "content_html": "![\"anchors](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/fd4ca8638e.jpg\")
“Anchors”
While the house was being shown on Saturday, I drove into town for a Starbucks fix. Afterwards, I drove by my ex-husband’s house to see if they were home. I don’t usually drop by unannounced but felt compelled this time. I wanted to share with them what my plans are in WV and spend some time catching up.
\nThere was a time when ours was very much a love/hate relationship. Or, probably more precisely, a love/anger relationship. As with any divorce, there was a lot of this finger-pointing, he said/she said stuff going on for the first few years. Then we both remarried and a sort of truce was reached. We went to the same events without killing each other. We spoke on the phone when necessary without diving back into the dirt. We made progress, slowly but surely, but I wouldn’t necessarily say we were “friends”. Then Mr. Virgo died, and it showed us all just how fragile this thing is. This life that we think will always be there and that there’s time down the road to mend your fences. In essence, my ex and his wife were there for me whenever I needed them, for whatever reason. Several months after Mr. Virgo’s death, we decided to have family holiday dinners together so the kids didn’t have to choose which place to go to first. After Thanksgiving, he and I had a few moments by ourselves and he told me it was ironic that it took a family tragedy to make us realize that we are just that. Family. Non-traditional, eccentric, mixed faith, loving, supportive…with common goals. Health and happiness.
\nI spent an hour and a half on their front porch, drinking coffee, sharing stories, sharing the love only a family bond can give you. This was a long time coming, this peace. It took a lot of hard work on all of our parts and I am so proud of us. They are anchors in my life.
\nMy prayer during those dark years was always “God, please heal my family.” And, like the loving God He is…He did. <3
\n", "date_published": "2014-08-11T01:30:19-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/08/11/anchors.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Growth","Grace","God","Wisdom","Forgiveness","Aging","Choices","Change"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/06/25/magic.html", "title": "Magic!", "content_html": "![\"woman](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/c4fc963b1c.jpg\")
“Magic!”
Something magical is happening. Since I put the house on the market, I haven’t slept in it. The most I’ve “cooked” was making a bowl of cereal the other day. I use the shower and immediately clean the bathroom to showing perfection. It took a great deal of effort and a fair amount of money to get this place in tip-top shape and I’ll be darned if I’m going to mess it up when I have a perfectly good house on wheels to stay in.
\nHere’s where the magic comes in. I’m losing my attachment to my “stuff”. You know, those things I carefully boxed up because I just HAD to have them? Oh, there are certainly things I would never, ever part with, but by golly…I’m sitting here thinking about those boxes in storage and running an inventory in my head and I can’t think of more than a dozen things that are in there! And if I don’t even KNOW what I have, why on earth do I need it? This is a beautiful revelation.
\nMy son-in-law’s mom is the dearest person and we are just as much family as if we were blood relatives. I was sitting at her kitchen table having coffee last week. She said, “You know, Ginny…the first thing you need to do is picture exactly what you want your life to look like, then go out and find what fits that picture.” Brilliant! I’ve always accepted whatever house was available and fit my life into it. This time I have an opportunity to totally create the kind of LIFE I want then I can pick and choose what fits into it, be it home, work, travel…whatever. This is a whole new concept to my creative brain and it’s running on overtime with imagination.
\nIn order to begin this new creation, I have to come up with a list of priorities. Now that I have the house under control, I can spend the days I’m not working divided into three parts. The first part of the day is when I’m most rested and it’s cooler, so I’ll spend that doing any cleaning/gardening/purging/hauling that needs to be done. The second part of the day is when it’s hot and uncomfortable, so I will spend that portion doing sedentary activities like sorting through boxes of papers and pictures, working online taking a downsizing class, and writing my blog posts and book. The third part of the day is when it has cooled off and I am the most relaxed and creative. I can use those hours to read, research, and define my new lifestyle.
\nI’ve come a long way on this grief journey. This time last year…well, I really don’t remember much at all about last year, which is probably a good thing. I still miss Mr. Virgo. It still hurts. But I’ve grown a lot this year and I know he would be pleased with my progress. I refuse to sit and let grass grow under my feet. This is good stuff here!
\n", "date_published": "2014-06-25T01:30:53-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/06/25/magic.html", "tags": ["Colorado","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Growth","Gratitude","Wisdom","Courage","Presence","Downsizing"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/06/22/laughter-is-the-best-medicine.html", "title": "Laughter IS the best medicine!", "content_html": "![\"irish](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/8849e42332.jpg\")
“Laughter really IS the best medicine!”
I am blessed to have good friends who really enjoy making me laugh. Whenever I feel I’m painting myself into a corner, I know I can call these people up…anytime, day or night. The stress of life just melts away. Last night it was watching “When Harry Met Sally” and laughing our butts off even though we had seen the movie many times. Thursday it was a day spent with a dear friend browsing shops and eating our way through two towns. Tonight it was a phone call with my buddy in Florida and laughing about everything whether it was funny or not…simply for the joy of hearing the laughter of the other.
\nA couple of days after Mr. Virgo died, I went to Target and bought every funny movie I could find in the bargain bin. I knew I was going to need laughter as much as I was going to need tears. Laughter releases endorphins…natures opiates. Those “feel good” hormones that make any pill easier to swallow. They create a sense of euphoria when taken in large doses. They’re “good for what ails ya”, as my grandma used to say. I’ve been blessed with an oversized funny bone. I’ve been known to entertain myself when I can’t sleep by writing stand-up comedy routines instead of counting sheep. Laughter has carried me through my darkest days, and it will continue to do so.
\nI hope you laugh at the little things, the absurdities of life, the slapstick antics of the people surrounding you. We all deserve to feel good…and make others feel good. Here’s to laughter!
\n", "date_published": "2014-06-22T01:30:43-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/06/22/laughter-is-the-best-medicine.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Positive Energy","Fun","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/05/09/rerun-of-the-rocks.html", "title": "Rerun of the Rocks", "content_html": "![\"rocks\"](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/f640ddb9a3.jpg\")
“Rerun of The Pile of Rocks”
This was my most popular post ever. It was read by nearly 64,000 people and shared nearly 1,000 times! I have had several requests to post it again. Thank you all so much for your support!
\nThe Pile of Rocks.
\nMy younger daughter wears her heart on her sleeve, just like I did when I was growing up. She’s the fixer, the tenderhearted one who wants everyone to be happy. It took me many, many years to finally gain the insight I needed to help her. She thinks in analogies like I do so this is how I taught her to take care of herself in her relationships.
\nGod gives everyone a pile of rocks. There are big rocks for the big things in life like families, jobs, houses, health. There are medium sized rocks for the average things in life like friends and laundry and soccer practice. Then there are small rocks for the mundane trivia of life like grumpy store clerks or the guy that cut you off on the freeway. God gives us extra rocks sometimes for those unexpected crises like a death in the family or the unexpected loss of a job. But, HE never gives us more than we can carry. The problem comes when WE pick up rocks that are not ours.
\nPicture, if you will, sitting in a great big circle with everyone you come into contact with. We’re all sitting here with our pile of rocks in front of us. Just the right amount of rocks. Just the amount that you are capable of carrying because you need to take them back home at the end of the day. Suddenly, the woman sitting across from you says something hurtful to you. If you internalize and take that personally, she has just thrown you one of her rocks and you dutifully stacked it on your pile. Now, a few folks down is your best friend. She’s having a major issue in her life and wants someone, anyone, to carry this burden for her. So you reach over and gladly take one of her rocks because that’s what friends are supposed to do, right? You sit here all day long, every day, in your circle getting rocks thrown at you and picking up others until you can’t even SEE over your pile, let alone pick it up and carry it back home!
\nIt’s one thing to get up, walk over to your friend and help her carry a particularly heavy rock for awhile. It’s quite another to try to carry everyone else’s rocks plus your own. Let others carry their own rocks. Stop trying to own the world’s problems cause honey, you really can’t live long enough to take care of everyone else. That’s THEIR pile of rocks!
\n", "date_published": "2014-05-09T01:30:26-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/05/09/rerun-of-the-rocks.html", "tags": ["Family","Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Positive Energy","Growth","Wisdom","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/04/26/a-fork-in-the-road.html", "title": "A Fork in the Road", "content_html": "![\"a](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/ea65864d70.jpg\")
“A Fork in the Road”
We have all found ourselves here many, many times in our lives. We’ve made choices and sometimes they are good, sometimes not so much. I’ve never stood at this spot with such trepidation as I have since losing Mr. Virgo. I have never had to make decisions all by myself. It’s daunting to say the least. What should I do about retirement? Should I keep the big house or downsize? What am I going to do about an income? Where am I heading? Who would take care of me if something unforeseen happens? Should I have another relationship? Do I want to grow old alone?
\nThese questions, and a million others can result in a certain kind of paralysis. Sitting and spinning and feel stuck doesn’t feel good and sometimes it’s the smallest of things that can help get you down off the fence. Other times it takes a veritable earthquake to shake you out of this self-imposed stagnation. For me, it happened this week when I was visiting my family and saw firsthand what they are going through juggling everything. I can be of much more help to them if I don’t live three hours away so I’m investigating selling the big mountain house and downsizing to something much more affordable near the kids. It just makes sense all the way around. And it’s amazing how just making the decision to investigate has freed me from the chains of my indecisiveness and helps me take a deep breath.
\n", "date_published": "2014-04-26T01:30:32-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/04/26/a-fork-in-the-road.html", "tags": ["Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Growth","New Ideas","Grace","Wisdom","Fear","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/04/10/inner-peace.html", "title": "Inner Peace", "content_html": "![\"marvin](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/403b128805.jpg\")
“If you cannot find peace within yourself, you will never find it anywhere else.” Marvin Gaye
So, yesterday I mentioned that I went through the whole day Monday without remembering it would have been Mr. Virgo’s and my 7th Wedding Anniversary. Thanks to everyone who sent me love and sweet thoughts. Now that I’ve had a chance to think about it, I realize it is just another step in healing. I haven’t forgotten him. I’ve just been living this amazing life I’ve been given and I still take him with me wherever I go.
\nWhen I went out for my walk/run yesterday, I went from my house to the cemetery for the first time. When I travel in TOW-Wanda, I bring a rock back from each trip and place it around Mr. Virgo’s grave and tell him about my trip. I did that yesterday without thinking of our anniversary. It was only after getting to the office and seeing the calendar that I remembered. And I felt sadness wash over me.
\nBut then something amazing happened. I’ve been reading The Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer and have learned that “I” am not the thoughts, the voice chattering in my head. That voice of admonishment that chastised me for not remember on the day itself is not “me”. I remembered that “I”…the real “me”…sits back and observes that chatterbox. And really, what was the difference between the five minutes BEFORE I remembered and the five minutes AFTER? Only one thing…a tiny thought. I remembered. Everything else…the ensuing feeling of guilt…was nothing more than self judgement. Is anything really different after I remembered? Nope…he’s still gone. I’m still here. I’m still functioning and strong. I’m still standing. It may have taken me a few hours of rumination to work that thought through, but the point is…I DID work through it. I know HOW to work through it.
\nWhat an amazing revelation to know where “I” sit…to know who “I” am. Things will never be the same.
\n", "date_published": "2014-04-10T01:30:01-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/04/10/inner-peace.html", "tags": ["Grief","Growth","Gratitude","Comfort","Grace","Peace","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/04/03/happiness.html", "title": "Happiness", "content_html": "![\"happiness](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/cd545d8f81.jpg\")
“Happiness Depends Upon Ourselves” Aristotle
Aristotle got it. Why is it, all these many years later, we still struggle with this? Granted, Aristotle didn’t have to worry about global warming, or airplanes crashing into buildings, or the stock market collapsing. He wasn’t bombarded by Madison Avenue or the 9:00 News. If he had children, they weren’t clamoring for the latest electronics or doing drugs under the bleachers. Still, he understood the nature of happiness. It comes from within. He understood this even though, I am sure, he had personal losses and disappointments.
\nBut, what happens when you call for your old friend…happiness…and it seems she’s moved out. She didn’t leave a forwarding address. You just can’t find her anywhere, no matter how hard you try. You muddle along, that dark cloud hanging over your head. Your friends are long past caring to hear, yet again, how fabulous your loved one was. Your loved ones are thinking, “Come on, already…get over it!” Maybe they’re even telling you that…out loud! You want to stand up and say some pretty choice epithets. Yes, happiness comes from within. So does sadness. So does grief. So do all of our emotions. They originate in thoughts. And when the thoughts change, the emotions will follow…when you’re ready.
\nHappiness depends upon ourselves. Four little words that pack a wallop. Be patient if yours is AWOL. It will return.
\n", "date_published": "2014-04-03T01:30:22-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/04/03/happiness.html", "tags": ["Colorado","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Hope","Camping","Wisdom"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/03/13/springtime-in-the-rockies.html", "title": "Springtime in the Rockies", "content_html": "![\"camper](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/5c337b34c8.jpg\")
“Springtime in the Rockies”
I headed to the lake Sunday afternoon. I needed to be alone with my thoughts and memories. The anniversary of Mr. Virgo’s death has come and gone. I loved being in the trailer alone. I talked to him. I cried for him. I wrote…and read…and prayed…and napped. I stared at the water and the birds. I listened to the wind and the geese. And I let it go. This year. This awful, heart-breaking, life-changing yet beautiful, blessed year. This change came from a 12 month gestation to birth a different version of me. Older, wiser, deeper. Grief knocked off some of those sharp edges and has humbled me in ways I never knew. And now? Now I’m ready to face whatever comes my way! I’m ready to tackle new projects. Travel to new places. Finish writing my book. Keep writing here. Take more pictures. Make more jewelry. Enter speaker training (not all who train are chosen, but it is a skill I can use anyway!). Paint. Learn. Grow. Teach. Fish. Hike. Camp.
\nLife is a precious gift. I don’t want to miss one single moment of it. So, I’m heading off to watch my grandchildren sing in the chorus of their first stage production!!!
\nI’ll get back to you from the road!
\n<3 Ginny
\n", "date_published": "2014-03-13T01:30:18-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/03/13/springtime-in-the-rockies.html", "tags": ["Colorado","Uplifting Stories","Grief","Overcoming Obstacles","Prayer","Hope","Positive Energy","TOW-Wanda!","Camping","The Grand Adventure","Growth","goRVing","Wisdom","Courage"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/03/11/the-widowmaker.html", "title": "The Widowmaker", "content_html": "![\"coronary](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/2433a41182.jpg\")
“The Widowmaker”
As many of you know, Mr. Virgo died one year ago tomorrow. He certainly seemed healthy except for a fairly large weight loss in the months leading up to his death. He attributed that to being too busy during ski season to sit down and eat. Also, his dentures were still new and it hurt him to eat.
\nOn the morning of March 12th, we drove to Grand Junction to look at travel trailers. Standing in the fourth one, he had a massive heart attack and was dead in 3 hours. He had what is called The Widowmaker which is a sudden and complete blockage of his anterior descending artery. The cardiologist in the ER kept turning to me and reminding me it was “grave”. He mentioned there is an increase in heart attacks with the time change. This is due to a challenge to the circadian rhythms that regulate everything in our bodies from sleep to cardiac rhythm.
\nMr. Virgo was a stubborn man. He might wince at a hangnail and at the same time downplay that pain in his left shoulder. He refused to have the complete physical his doctor recommended just three months before. So, as they say, the rest is history.
\nI suggest you schedule a physical this time every year. If you are having ANY cardiac symptoms, don’t try to be a tough guy….get checked! You just might be saving your own life and preventing, or postponing at least, the heartbreak your death will cause those who are left behind. Here is a link for an explanation of this type of heart attack.
\nhttp://blog.myheart.net/2013/12/19/the-widowmaker/
\n", "date_published": "2014-03-11T01:30:19-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/03/11/the-widowmaker.html", "tags": ["Grief","Strong Women","Wisdom","Aging","Warning"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/03/08/the-pile-of-rocks.html", "title": "The Pile of Rocks", "content_html": "![\"pile](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/2d8e998dd5.jpg\")
“The Pile of Rocks”
My younger daughter wears her heart on her sleeve, just like I did when I was growing up. She’s the fixer, the tenderhearted one who wants everyone to be happy. It took me many, many years to finally gain the insight I needed to help her. She thinks in analogies like I do so this is how I taught her to take care of herself in her relationships.
\nGod gives everyone a pile of rocks. There are big rocks for the big things in life like families, jobs, houses, health. There are medium sized rocks for the average things in life like friends and laundry and soccer practice. Then there are small rocks for the mundane trivia of life like grumpy store clerks or the guy that cut you off on the freeway. God gives us extra rocks sometimes for those unexpected crises like a death in the family or the unexpected loss of a job. But, HE never gives us more than we can carry. The problem comes when WE pick up rocks that are not ours.
\nPicture, if you will, sitting in a great big circle with everyone you come into contact with. We’re all sitting here with our pile of rocks in front of us. Just the right amount of rocks. Just the amount that you are capable of carrying because you need to take them back home at the end of the day. Suddenly, the woman sitting across from you says something hurtful to you. If you internalize and take that personally, she has just thrown you one of her rocks and you dutifully stacked it on your pile. Now, a few folks down is your best friend. She’s having a major issue in her life and wants someone, anyone, to carry this burden for her. So you reach over and gladly take one of her rocks because that’s what friends are supposed to do, right? You sit here all day long, every day, in your circle getting rocks thrown at you and picking up others until you can’t even SEE over your pile, let alone pick it up and carry it back home!
\nIt’s one thing to get up, walk over to your friend and help her carry a particularly heavy rock for awhile. It’s quite another to try to carry everyone else’s rocks plus your own. Let others carry their own rocks. Stop trying to own the world’s problems cause honey, you really can’t live long enough to take care of everyone else. That’s THEIR pile of rocks!
\n", "date_published": "2014-03-08T02:30:09-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/03/08/the-pile-of-rocks.html", "tags": ["Uplifting Stories","Overcoming Obstacles","Growth","New Ideas","Wisdom","Courage","Presence"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2014/02/02/seek-balance.html", "title": "Seek Balance", "content_html": "![\"balancing](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/5de8dc6a81.jpg\")
“Seek Balance”
I did not learn to ski till I was 33. It was the first year my ex-husband was in his new medical practice and I was lucky enough to be a stay at home mom. We lived 15 minutes from the ski area, so I would get my housework done, run up and ski a few runs, then head back to the house to start supper and be available when my daughter got home from school.
\nI was scared to death. I don’t like heights. I don’t like cold. I don’t particularly like strenuous sports. But my family did so I was bound and determined to learn. I signed up for a class through the local community college. It was really affordable and met two days per week. Perfect. The problem came when everyone else in the class advanced much quicker than me. I didn’t like being left behind so I really pushed myself, but I was panic stricken every time I headed down a run.
\nOne of the techniques used in nearly every run is to lean forward out over the point of balance and turn away from the mountain. This is totally counterintuitive and I couldn’t grasp it. The last thing in the world I wanted to do was turn out over that edge because I was sure I would die.
\nIt took a good deal of practice and several private lessons with a very patient instructor before I became a competent skier. In looking back, I realize much of life is like a good ski run. You have to lean forward past your comfort zone. You have to turn away from certain safety and seek a balance that let’s you soar in a way that is the closest to flying you can attain with your feet still on the ground. When you find that balance, do all you can to keep yourself there for within it lies peace.
\n", "date_published": "2014-02-02T02:30:57-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2014/02/02/seek-balance.html", "tags": ["Comfort","Wisdom","Fear"] }, { "id": "http://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/2013/11/29/black-friday.html", "title": "Black Friday", "content_html": "![\"Black](\"https://mashmallowranch.micro.blog/uploads/2026/52ae71187f.jpg\")
“Crowds on Black Friday”
The only day you go out of your way to shove your way through a crowd in order to purchase cheap plastic crap the day after giving thanks for all the things you have!
\nMight I suggest purchasing gift items from local, mom & pop stores and from independent artists? At the very, very least…check the labels and buy products made in the USA.
\nBe safe out there, mind your budget, and remember what’s really important! I’m skipping the mayhem and making gifts for Christmas. I’ll be driving back to Marshmallow Ranch today. Then tonight is the annual Hotel Colorado Lighting Ceremony and Fireworks Show! I can’t wait!!!
\n", "date_published": "2013-11-29T02:30:02-06:00", "url": "https://marshmallowranch.com/2013/11/29/black-friday.html", "tags": ["Wisdom"] } ] }