“For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.”
‭‭Galatians‬ ‭1:10‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Parts of West Virginia have already received 36” of rain and the year is only half over. The average rainfall here is 44” annually. What this creates is something akin to a tropical rainforest. And, unless you absolutely stay on top of it, things like creeks can quickly become overgrown and clogged up. This presents a huge problem if, say, a culvert gets backed up. In our case, the creek runs right along the house. If it overflowed, it could undermine the foundation and then we’d be in big trouble.

While my uncle was here, I had a fellow come and give us an estimate for clearing out the brush, vines, saplings, and briars that had accumulated since the creek was last cleared…four years ago. I had long ago decided I was not going to get down in that snake infested place with a weed eater and a chain saw at the age of sixty-five. Especially when the heat index is pushing 100 degrees. Fortunately, my uncle agreed, we told the fellow what we wanted and agreed on a price. $200 from the road up to behind the house as well as the removal of several years of poison ivy growth up on the barn. An absolute bargain, if you ask me.

I love how the challenges we go through in life offer abundant opportunities for personal growth. After reading your responses to my posts about my elderly aunt with dementia, and having a couple of days to think about it, I’ve begun to see the blessings that come in disguise. First, was God removing me from the equation when it came to caring for my aunt long term. He knew that was not a good scenario for either one of us and made it disappear. Second, was me asking myself why it upsets me when my aunt says unkind things to me. As uncomfortable as it was to admit, I realized that there is a part of me that is still stuck seeking approval and love from others. It was eye-opening.

Yesterday, I mentioned Byron Katie and “The Work”…a method of self-inquiry that helps change the way we think about things and gives us freedom from long-held beliefs that are likely untrue. To boil it down, you examine your thought, write it down, ask the questions, and turn it around.

Example:

“My aunt does not like me.”

1) Is that true?

Yes, I believe so.

2) Are you absolutely sure that is true?

Well, no. I cannot read her mind. Her actions tell me she doesn’t, but I do not know that she absolutely does not like me.

3) How do you feel when you have this thought?

Unloveable. Disappointed. Hurt. Angry.

4) How would you feel if you could not have the thought?

Free. Peaceful. Friendly. Less stressed. Less self-deprecating. Kind.

If you turn it around, is it as true or more true?

“I do not like my aunt.”

Wow. Well, yeah…she is not my favorite person in the world.

Turn it some more.

“I do not like myself.”

Whoa. Truth…I do not like myself when I am judgmental and critical of others…when I am unkind or unloving or ungrateful.

Light bulb moment.

When I looked up the quote I used in yesterday’s post, I notice Katie has another book called “I Need Your Love – Is That True?” I immediately downloaded it. We are set up in childhood to seek love, approval and appreciation from others when we should be getting it from within…from OURSELVES. I am enjoying this read immensely. It is an excellent reminder of how we continually keep ourselves stressed when we seek, and do not get, things from others that we should be giving ourselves. I talk a good game when I say “I don’t care what others think of me!” When in reality, if I’m perfectly honest, I care more than I should. I seek approval more than I should. I want appreciation more than I should. If I could give myself these things, I would be free to enjoy the interactions with others on their own merit and not by what I am getting (or NOT getting) from it.

I love personal growth…almost 100% of the time. ❤