It’s so easy to slip into the “comfort zone”. Once you’re there, you definitely want to stay. There have been so many times I’ve been yanked out of my comfort zone…kicking and screaming. And every single time, I’ve grown bigger and better because of it.

When I was uncomfortably ensconced in a “Behavioral Unit” after the overdose, I went from reading Harry Potter to my daughter at night to harsh lights, loud voices, scary people, and a strictly supervised environment. I remember telling someone I felt like a slug on a hot griddle. The cells in my brain felt like they were sizzling. I was most definitely uncomfortable, but I discovered an inner warrior I had never really known.

When Mr. Virgo and I were driving to pick out a camper for our retirement, we basked in the comfort of our loving relationship…holding hands, sharing stories, making plans. When he suffered a massive heart attack and died within three hours, my world crashed and comfort became a foreign concept I wasn’t sure I would ever return to. People said… “You’re so brave!” My response was, “It’s amazing what you can do when you have no other choice.” I became more empathetic and compassionate and confident with time. And infinitely braver.

Then, Mr. FixIt uttered those words. 

“There’s something happening here I have to tell you about. I’m feeling numb and tingly on one side.”

Instant discomfort. Fear. Panic. Explosive heart rate. Waves of nausea. 

I’d been there before. While not necessarily a frequently visited territory, it WAS in my memory banks and I’d been there before. I knew there was a file card placed somewhere that said, “What to do in an emergency.” I just had to stop and take a deep breath and pull it out.

“Be BRAVE!”

Yep, that’s what that card said alright. Think. Think. Think. How do you DO that?

1. Breathe
2. Check your OWN pulse first. (In other words, calm down.)
3. Evaluate the situation.
4. Take appropriate action.

In my case, after all four steps were successfully accomplished, I moved on to my next step.

5)   Excuse yourself from the room and throw up.

Ok, four out of five is pretty good, I think. After all, you can throw up and still be brave. In the past, I would have chastised myself for being a weenie. I would have thought of myself as being inadequate…incapable of controlling myself…weak. Absolutely NOT true.

I came out of this with a new appreciation for my body and my mind. I was scared. It’s ok to be scared. I couldn’t control what was happening. It’s ok to be out of control because, in all actuality…I’ve never been IN control of anything outside of myself. And sometimes that doesn’t work like I’d like it to. I was challenged. We all have challenges. 

Here’s what I wasn’t…

I wasn’t defeated. I wasn’t weak. I wasn’t incapable. And, I wasn’t alone.

I was brave.

It’s the same thing I told people after Mr. Virgo passed away. It’s amazing what you can do when you have no other choice. I do, however, have a spike in my blood pressure right now and I’m monitoring that. I haven’t had high blood pressure since Hubby #2 and I split up. Stress does crazy things to your body. 

Mr. FixIt continues to improve and feel stronger every day. The numbness has reduced to only his left hand. We are hoping it continues to subside. If that’s the worst thing that came of this, we are truly blessed. He’s sleeping well, eating right, getting the rest he needs, and adjusting to his new circumstances.

This is my “Feel Good Friday” post…because, it’s been a week since his stroke, and we’re feeling pretty darned good right now.

❤️

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.””

Deuteronomy 31:6 NIV