We have held church in our living room every Sunday since the lockdown began. Which means we have not attended services with our church family since the middle of February. It’s only been four months, but it seems like a lifetime ago. While I miss my peeps there, I’ve learned that church is not the building we attend. As a matter of fact, those ninety minutes a week we spend there is really such a small piece of who I am as a Christian. I have a supportive group of Christian women in my life. We keep each other in prayer and check in on one another, offering support wherever it is needed. One of my group recently found out she has Covid even though she followed the guidelines. Masks and hand washing are good deterrents, but they are not 100% effective. We know this. But, for now, they are the only bullet in the gun.

Our pastor preached a sermon yesterday on grace. Having grace for our people is normally pretty easy. We are all trying to get through and lift each other up as best we can. That’s the easy part. It is harder to find grace for those with whom we vehemently disagree. I am often torn. There are things I find more difficult to forgive than others. Then I remember…Jesus loves the sinner, hates the sin. 

I have been searching for grace more and more lately. We are weary of this mess. We are weary of the news. We are sometimes frightened by what we see…things we have never seen before. Or…at least, not for a long, long time. Things we never thought we would have to deal with again. Things are changing…shifting…dying…growing…ending. This is the hardest part of change. When we can find something constant to focus on, we can rise above the chaos.

This will not last forever. It is grief. We are grieving the status quo. We are yearning for what once was. We are mourning the loss of the lives we knew…the comfort, the stability, the sameness. It is a collective grief we are all feeling to some extent or another. This is not easy. But, if there is anything losing Mr. Virgo taught me, it is that there really is nothing in the world we have real control over except our reactions to it.

Everyone…well, it seems everyone I know, anyway…has an opinion about what’s going on in the world. Politically, socially, economically, physically, mentally…and social media has brought out the worst in many of us. I am a work in progress, but I truly am trying to focus more on grace and less on my insatiable need to be “right.” 

As I watch the news and scan Facebook, I send prayers up for those I disagree with. I try, sometimes unsuccessfully, to keep my mouth shut. I cannot tell you how many times I have typed out a very LONG rebuttal to someone’s angry statement, only to think better of it and erase it instead of hitting send.

I ask myself one very important question.

Which would I rather be…”right” or happy?

I try to emulate Jesus. I try to think of what He would do in each situation. And I’ve come to the conclusion that…sometimes we need to be the teacher. Sometimes we need to turn over the tables in the temple. And sometimes we need to go into the garden and pray. Praying for discernment to know which attribute to use at any given time is a full time job and I’m working it hard.

I’m not always successful, but I do give it my best shot.

❤️

“So whenever we are in need, we should come bravely before the throne of our merciful God. There we will be treated with undeserved grace, and we will find help.”

Hebrews 4:16 CEV

Hebrews 4:16 CEV