I was dreading Christmas. I haven’t seen my Colorado peeps in nearly 17 months. I haven’t held my great grandbabies since February…one was only a few weeks old the last time I held him. Now he’s nearly a year old and almost walking. After a year of fear…from strokes to covid  to politics…I was just not up for it. Then, something interesting happened.

Mr. FixIt and I went to town Wednesday evening to get some last minute grocery items because snow was coming. Earlier in the day, Daughter #2 called to say she’d been exposed to Covid and was now sick and waiting for test results. My dear friend’s dad had just had open heart surgery and they had to rush her mom to the hospital. I was frustrated that I couldn’t be everywhere I felt I was needed and I was not being a very nice human because of it.

We stopped at our favorite little neighborhood grocery…Aldi…and checked items off the list as we put them in the cart. I needed some Half & Half and walked around the corner and ran right smack dab into a cloud of Mr. Virgo’s signature Halston No.10. My knees went weak. I turned and looked in every direction…there was no one nearby. I glanced at the shelves…no scented soaps or perfumes or candles. No reason…just an overwhelming cloud of HIM.

I was emotional anyway. I bent over and took a few deep breaths to keep from crying. It shocked me…because, this was the eighth Christmas without him, I’m happily remarried, and…well, I have a good life. Then I realized…he’ll always be here because he is a part of who I am…a part of my story…a part of my heart. That takes nothing away from Mr. FixIt. It only adds to my ability to love.

We went on and finished our shopping and headed home. It was clouding up, getting ready to rain, when I looked to my right and…there was the Christmas Star! We didn’t get to see it when it was at its closest, but we got to see it! I suddenly felt my shoulders relax. I just felt him say to me…

“You’re ok. Your people are ok. Just calm down…it’ll all work out.”

I reached over and took Mr. FixIt’s hand and gave it a squeeze. I told him Mr. Virgo came to visit me in the store. We talked about how hard it is to lose those people you love. He held my hand as we drove home. 

Christmas wasn’t the same…but in some really weird ways, it was better. I didn’t run myself ragged making sure twenty-five people were happy and fed and clothed and overindulged. I didn’t work sixteen hours only to watch a table full of food devoured in fifteen minutes. (Not that I mind that…but it’s exhausting!) I didn’t break the bank. And…through the thoughtful gift from Daughter #1, I was able to sit and see them and talk with them all on Christmas Day. I called the others I couldn’t see. And I thanked God for all of my many, many blessings….the biggest of which was in the form of a tiny baby wrapped in swaddling cloth and laid in a manger all those many years ago.

It turned out to be a very soft, quiet, and WHITE Christmas with about five inches of new snow blanketing the Ponderosa. The new snowblower worked perfectly. Everyone sent pictures of their day. 

And, that’s a wrap for Christmas 2020. Not as bad as it could have been…better than some.

?

“Always be joyful and never stop praying. Whatever happens, keep thanking God because of Jesus Christ. This is what God wants you to do.”

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 CEV