Like everyone else, we’re doing a lot of hanging out here at The Ponderosa. Mowing season has begun. We’re getting projects done and making plans for others. The few times we have ventured out have been masked forays into uncrowded stores for a quick purchase. We only have a few shops in the tiny town on the other side of the hill. Piggly Wiggly and Dollar General are the bigger ones.
I needed a couple things the other day so I stopped in the Dollar General. There was a woman shopping ahead of me. She was around my age. She wore a mask but she had it pulled down under her nose. The first thing I said to her was “Thank you so much for wearing a mask. It’s so important to help stop the spread of this disease.” Her eyes crinkled up from the smile hidden behind her mask.
“I don’t mean to pry,” I said. “But, did you by any chance work in medicine?”
“No I didn’t,” she said.
“I worked in the medical field for over forty years and I would never be presumptuous and tell someone what to do. However, your mask won’t help you if you don’t cover your nose.”
She quickly pulled it up. “Oh, I know…but it makes my glasses fog up and I can’t stand it.”
At the time, I didn’t have an answer for her. I knew there were ways to get around that, but I just couldn’t think off the top of my head. Since then, I found out one way is to fold up a tissue under the your glasses behind the mask. Some masks have a flexible wire at the top that molds it to your nose and that helps, but these homemade masks don’t have that. If you wash your glasses with soapy water leaves a thin film that reduces surface tension and the lenses won’t fog up. Mr. FixIt swears if you wash your glasses with shaving cream, they won’t fog up. I haven’t tried that yet.
I have a bit of a hearing loss and find I’m depending on reading lips a lot more than I thought I was. I’m having to ask people to repeat themselves more often since we are wearing masks. I also miss seeing people smile. It’s amazing how much nonverbal cues come through watching a person’s face.
Remember I told you the other day that I hadn’t cried since this all started? Well, last night my daughter called and we had a long, laughter-filled conversation. We told stories and reminisced about her childhood. It was leisurely and delightful. When we were saying our goodbyes, I heard her voice thicken with emotion.
“Mama, the other day I read that if they can’t come up with a vaccine that works, we might have to practice social distancing clear into 2022. I can’t stand the thought of not hugging you for that long!” (Note: I’m not saying a vaccine cures this. I’m not being political. I know we can’t stay in limbo like this forever. I’m just relaying what my daughter said she heard.)
My heart broke.
“Honey, I would find a way to hug you…no matter what. We could put a blanket between us and I could give you a big ol’ Mama hug!”
We said our goodbyes…and I hung up and cried.
It’s the first time I’ve shed tears since all this began. It wasn’t cleansing tears, either.
It just made me sad.
It’s ok to be saddened by all this. It’s hard to think about all the things…all the little things and the big things that we’re missing. We can’t get through this without feeling sadness. I’m combatting that with making lists of all the things I want to do when things open up. I’m looking for ways to serve others through this difficult time. And I look for the goodness of God in the world around me.
Not every day can be a happy day.
That’s ok.
❤️
“The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised, and I am saved from my enemies.”
Psalm 18:2-3 ESV