I saw her walk into the restaurant with the rest of us “early birds”. The waitress came up to her table and handed her a menu.
“Just one?”
I’m sure I’m the only one in the restaurant that saw the shadow of pain skitter across her face.
“Yes.”
“Really?”
*sigh*
I wanted to smack the perky waitress but decided at some point in the meal, this would become a teaching moment.
When we walked in, there were friends sitting in a booth near the front of the restaurant. They called to us to join them. The woman dining alone sat nearby. Our friends lost their son a couple of years ago. Eventually, our conversation included him…mentioning him by name, telling a funny story or two, comforting her and telling her at two years, it’s still ok to cry. It’s always ok to cry.
The waitress came back to give us our check and I chose that moment to speak to the woman dining alone. We made direct eye contact.
“I remember the first time I went to a restaurant alone after my husband died.”
She looked at me steadily. I recognized the sadness in her eyes. I sat there…many times.
“It doesn’t really help to be asked…’Oh…you’re alone?’ The first time I went to our favorite restaurant, I opened my iPad and pulled up my favorite picture of my husband and propped him up on the table so I didn’t feel so alone.”
“Yes…it’s really hard. Especially when someone comes up to you after a year and a half and asks ‘Where’s Paul?’”
The waitress whirled around. It just dawned on her what had happened. She opened her mouth to say something and I quickly said, “It’s not your fault. You aren’t clairvoyant so you had no way of knowing.” But now she’ll be more aware the next time someone comes in unaccompanied.
As we were leaving, I glanced over at the woman dining alone and gave her a long, knowing look and a gentle smile. She smiled back and waved.
God moments. He gives us the people we need to help…and to help us.
❤️
“He defends the cause of the fatherless and the widow, and loves the foreigner residing among you, giving them food and clothing.”
Deuteronomy 10:18 NIV
It was a first of many. It made me cry. Looking around seeing all the couples was of no help.
❤️
I have always had a hard time eating alone, especially at dinner time. Lunch is OK. My hubby traveled a lot for work and I very seldom went out for dinner while he was gone. Now that he has passed going out in the evening to eat just isn’t something I am real comfortable with. If I am going to sit and read while I eat, I might as well eat at home. I am so glad you came up with a thoughtful way of letting the waitress know she had wronged this lady.
❤️
I DO agree that servers should be PROPERLY trained in appropriate greetings, and while they need to know the party size for service logistics, there’s better phrases to use. None are great but “table for one?” is far better than “just one??” It’d be great if somehow local restaurants could tactfully pair up single diners who might prefer company. What do you think? …the Solver Tsunami is JUST starting…
A “singles” table might be nice for those who desire company, but I found at first, I really needed to be alone to sort out my feelings. I have been at restaurants where there was a large table in the center of the room designated as the “Community Table”. I liked that idea because it gives people at opportunity…and maybe even encouragement to come together as community. ❤️
Sounds like me. It’s still a hard time for me. I hate dining alone and don’t very often.
I understand. I think it was a little bit easier for me because Hubby #2 was a doctor and gone a lot. I ate out alone a good deal when our daughter was visiting him. Maybe that prepared me for dining along after Mr. Virgo died. You can get used to dining out alone, but not by avoiding it. I always have a book or I bring my iPad and write something. ❤️