I’ve been sitting here for the last 15-20 minutes trying to come up with something more profound than that, but I’m empty tonight. I had a productive day. I’ve been typing my manuscript which entails reading a lot of the things I wrote in the first few months after Mr. Virgo died. That is a lot like having your appendix removed without anesthesia. But it must be done now, while it’s relatively fresh and the raw bits are still easily accessed. It’s exhausting and I can only do so many pages before I’m emotionally drained. While a nap might sound nice, there is too much escapism involved there. I needed to get out among the living.

I drove to town and had dinner at the local brew pub. I had a cool old Bennett Brothers Catalog from 1963 to browse and escape to a simpler time. I had just finished eating when my ex-husband and his wife came in for dinner. I was so excited because I hadn’t seen them since Thanksgiving. They were going to sit in the next booth but I asked them to sit with me. We had such a lovely visit. We talked about the kids and the grandkids. What we did over the holidays. This and that. When his wife excused herself for a moment, I leaned over and told my ex how much I love her and how happy I am for him. I winked and said, “See? You got to have TWO fabulous wives in your life!” There were many, many years when he and I were not being genuine and it darned near killed the both of us. And now look. I had a wonderful marriage, albeit too short. And he is in the throes of an epic love. I love that!

Sometimes….sometimes you find an epic love, and for whatever reason, it doesn’t work. Poor timing, mismatched feelings, or for no reason you can even explain. The only thing you can do is remain true to yourself and be brave enough to speak. Always tell the truth when your feelings are involved because you know “what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive”. When left unspoken, words harden in your heart like cement. It’s much more difficult to get them out once they are stone.

After dinner, I went to the hot springs and soaked and soaked and soaked. And now I’m done. I’ve used it all up and tomorrow is another day. Tomorrow is time to recharge at church and watch the Broncos win the Super Bowl!

Have a blessed day, everyone.