I don’t think it’s a surprise to anyone that I’m a princess. Or…at least, I WAS a princess. Mr. Virgo carried me around on a velvet pillow. And that’s what I needed at the time. I needed to feel special. I needed to heal from a lot of things, so God brought Mr. Virgo. And my heart healed. Then it broke again when he died. When a broken bone heals, it is never the same as it was before. Neither is a broken heart. As I walk this grief journey, my limp is apparent. I’m changed, especially over this past winter. It’s been subtle…but obvious to me. And it all stems around my fur coat. You remember my fur coat?
Mr. Virgo gave me a full length blue fox fur coat for our first married Christmas. It is stunning! It gets a lot of attention when I walk into a room. It certainly did when I walked into my granddaughter’s school to see her Christmas pageant when I was in Colorado over the holidays. She attends a very poor, inner city school where probably 95% of the student get free lunch. And here I waltzed in like Her Royal Highness. I was mortified. I immediately took it off, wrapped it with the fur on the inside and sat on it.
That image has stuck with me ever since. I’ve danced around that coat ever since I got back. I am not sure I’ve worn it much, if at all since I returned in January. I just look at it, hanging in the spare room. What does it mean, this coat…this symbol of an affluence I no longer enjoy…or desire. I don’t relate to that person anymore. But, what do I do? It was a gift from Mr. Virgo. I can still see the light in his eyes when I opened it and sat on the floor, crying like a little girl. Not so much because of the coat, but because he presented it to me with such love. He wanted me to have pretty things. I wanted to deny I was falling out of love with the coat…to the point I defended my choice to keep dragging it around. Then my friend planted a seed that grew and it helped me let go.
Of course, there’s the fact that I live in roughly 200 square feet with very little storage space. Storing it is a problem. Furs shouldn’t be stored in high heat and a trailer or the back of my truck are extremely hot in the summer. It’s already gotten fragile with rips under the arms and places where the lining is coming loose. It’s impractical and doesn’t give me joy like it once did.
I’ve given it some thought and I think I am going to have the bottom, from the armpits down, made into a throw for my bed or the sofa. I can have the sleeves made into neck roll pillows. They will look lovely in the new color scheme I am planning for the trailer. And I will still have my sweet memories of a beautiful Christmas morning.
It’s time to pay it forward. It’s time to be authentic. My crown is worn because Christ wore one of thorns for me. I am extraordinary only through Him…not because of a fur coat. It’s time to spread the LOVE. I took a big bag and a box full to the Mission yesterday. There is more to go.
❤️
“If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness.”
2 Corinthians 11:30 NIV