Finding Peace Where I Can Get It

I celebrated Mother’s Day in quite the organic way. Sleeping in the camper and waking up to the beautiful sounds of songbirds all around me was a lovely way to wake up. Mr. FixIt texting me a tender Mother’s Day greeting. Fixing a lovely breakfast of Popcorn Pancakes, turkey sausage and eggs. And a pot of decaf coffee! Going off coffee completely a couple years ago was healing to my body. I’ve replaced it with RYZE Mushroom Coffee, but I’ve still missed the occasional cuppa. Decaf has saved the day by allowing me coffee without all that buzz and acid.

Not too long after breakfast, I told Mr. FixIt I wanted to go out and mow. He said, “Awwww, honey…you don’t need to do that.” Meaning, I didn’t need to spend Mother’s Day mowing as if it was just any other day. I smiled and said, “It’s not work…it’s meditation time!” It was a beautiful day. I started receiving messages from all my peeps to wish me a Happy Mother’s Day. Yet, it was getting along in the evening after supper and I still hadn’t heard from my girls.

The old me would have jumped on the hamster wheel that is my brain and start imagining that they don’t love me. I would have ruminated on every minor and major mistake I ever made in parenting and concluded I was a failure at being a mom. This is what happens when you are the child of an alcoholic and suffer from childhood trauma and PTSD. Lots of therapy and personal growth has changed how I view things, how I deal with disappointments, how I live my life. It’s a much better landscape in my head these days. Once I let go of all expectations of how other people treat me or think about me or DON’T think about me…I became free to just accept the love that comes my way and give the love I have to others while keeping a generous portion for my “self”. 

Then, lo and behold…I went out to gaze at my pollinator gardens and get some more pictures when Daughter #1 called. We had a long, lovely conversation and, this strong woman I raised (who keeps her cards close to her vest) told me she loved me. Within the hour, Daughter #2 called with the same message. I was barely off the phone when Daughter #3, my bonus WV daughter called and that made three! My daughter-in-law checked in first thing in the morning. My bonus son is a guy so, you know…it’s different with guys.

Actually, Mr. FixIt Jr. did something for me this weekend. He was so impressed by my photos of the Northern Lights that he submitted them to the local TV station and they ran with the feature story about sightings. That was pretty cool! You can see it here: https://www.wtap.com/2024/05/12/northern-lights-reached-mid-ohio-valley-friday-night/

Overall, it was probably my best Mother’s Day in a long time and for that I am most grateful. Allowing life to unfold as it will makes it so much sweeter. 

🌸☀️🌸

“Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.”

Proverbs 22:6 NIV

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