I have a true confession to make. I didn’t realize how terribly burned out I was when I got back from the Colorado trip and announced I was taking a sabbatical from writing here. I honestly didn’t do much of anything the entire month of August. Even well into September, I just didn’t have it in me to embrace all this work ahead of me. So, I did what I needed to do. I withdrew, prayed, spent time in nature and at the farm. I slept a lot and ate well. I even knitted a hat for charity. I trusted that God would nudge me when it was time.
I woke up yesterday and knew it was the day. It has rained over the last three days with cooler temps. The hillsides are seeing touches of gold and red. The kitchen and pantry are clean and organized. I have plenty of ingredients on hand to cook healthy meals so I don’t have to keep running to town so often. I’ve cleaned the “nest” around my Big Red Chair. I’ve balanced my checkbook. I found the writing I’ve already done and have it set up on my desktop. I don’t have anyplace to go for the next ten days and I’m ready.
I read a piece yesterday that was written by John Pavlovitz. I don’t want to get into politics, but this particular article brought me to tears when I read it. It touched a sore place within me that I didn’t know was hurting. He talked about people saying they’re so sick of politics…something I myself have said repeatedly the last few weeks. He named a lot of things he was sick of…racism, hate, bigotry, bitterness. Then he twisted the knife. He said he hates being reminded of the white supremacy so many of his church friends are expressing. “…realizing that I am orphaned from the places I once called my spiritual home.”
That struck a nerve. I, too, feel orphaned by some of the people I truly love. People I’ve always respected and looked up to. And then there’s the trolls on the internet. I know I shouldn’t even go there because when I do, there always seems to be someone that makes me immediately regret it and I delete the post. I’m a slow learner…what can I say? I’m passionate. But here’s the thing that’s really been bugging me the last few weeks. I know how much I can afford to donate to my candidate of choice. It’s not a lot, but it’s all I can do. And now I get 50 “emergency, the sky is falling” texts saying how we are failing and if I want my candidate to win, I have to donate NOW. It’s made me feel terrible and ineffective. I asked a dear friend who is very active in politics. How much is a reasonable contribution? She says that if everyone who votes donates $5 to their candidate, that’s plenty. Now I don’t’ feel so bad when I reply STOP to all those texts.
It’s hard to have a tender heart during election season. At least it has been the last decade or so. Between the election and the overwhelming summer trip, I just needed to take some time for me before I picked up the book again. I appreciate all your words of support and for keeping me accountable to my goal.
“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”
Ephesians 4:29 ESV